BABOON BRAINFRAME

dec 18

finished chapin book. if i weren’t already a LIFELONG FAN, it probably wouldnt convince me of anything, i wouldnt like the book, i mean it was a pretty flawed book with its kinda rough writing style, missing important points, or maybe that was just him leaving the reader wanting more. i mean if he wants to self publish short books every year, ill damn buy them! MGHOW was worth it for telling personal stories which he never used to tell in his videos (when i used to watch ALL his videos at least.) dirty degen details of his secs life, the women he dated.

now, i want to know more about his ex WIFE. in this book he also talked for about 1 page about going to grad skool and becoming a Skool Psychologist. I would like a whole chapter or book on that.

he mentions his mother was a clinical psych for 30 years and had a practice where she largely had Neurotic Career Women as clients. His Mother Knows Women.

This is HUGELY interesting and Uncle Bern should write a book on women with his MOTHER. He needs to talk about his Based Mother a lot more and how she helped him understand women.

maybe involve his mother or sister in his videos or books. especially the mother. i know she is still alive and he talks to her regularly. She sounds like a Red Pilled Woman who Bern actually respects and with good reason.

i am considering writing a review on the amazon page. i know Bern really appreciates that. i might identify the review with muh alt right username. which I am NOT using on this page because even though this page talks about alt right a lot……..i still dont want to come out to the alt right as saying i am the alt right NEET OMEGA LOSER who writes the alt right neet omega loser blog whining about women and being a neet loser.

i mean haters could probably put two and two together, but i dont want to give it to them on a silver platter! i mean they could definitely do it.no doubt. im talking about my alt right nonneet username being connected with my alt right neet username here. never does muh real life identity being doxxed enter in. of COURSHE i have opsec of the utmost priority on that.

going to go for powerwalk at 1pm today. sunday. sunny but cold. need to use boots hehehe.

made 5 ovenburgers on today sunday. put them into little baggies with cheese and buns and put them in freezer. good 2 go.

did 1 load of laundry. medium sized. shirts and pants for job. done.

yesterday did 1 load of laundry too. drawz and socks and hats and gloves and dark stuff.

previous day did 1 medium load of laundry, all white t shirts only.

yesterday made 20 cigarets. trying to do that every saturday night. make 20 cigarets even if i only smoke 10 during the week. then put the 10 into a separate bag. i like having a big bag o cigarets in case i run out of pre rolleds.

also smokin 10 cigarets a week is not bad.

Bone Zone SHUT DOWN from youtube! i knew it would happen but that was less than 1 month. wow just wow.

I mean i always kinda liked ghoul, thought he was a little hard to listen to, but once he showed his handsome face i liked him 148800000000 times more. spent 25 bucks to buy his tshirt. he is a good goi, dindu nuffin.

1.4 mile powerwalk in snow. 20 degrees. not bad. i will go outside when its 20. not so much when it is 10. and it has been closer to 10 for a while.

took a benedryl at about 1:30pm to force myself to go to bed early tonight, get up.

emily youcis was a real degenerate, smokin MJ on camera, wearing incredibly skanky clothes on camera with her tits and ass hanging out, being a singer in a punk band. you KNOW she has done some degen shit during that time. drinkin, smokin, fookin the dirtiest randoms raw dog, taking it up the ass by guys she just met.

but i still accept her because when you come out as pro-white, using your real name, you are pretty much recanting your degen past, because everyone will turn against you. you will lose friends and fans. you will find out who your real friends and fans are.

i guess a similar thing could be said for evalion….but she didnt use her real name. well, her real FIRST name she did use. and then within 6 months her real last name was out there. but not sure what she is doing.

i would give evalion 1 dollar a month if she wasnt buddy buddy with sinead and they didnt call mill woes a degen phaggot. god damn. MILO is a degen phaggot. or prob jack donovan. but mill woes has repented for his gay past! and I’ll give him the benefit of the doubt and assume this gay past is very very minimal. like evalion or sinead never did degenerate shit. they did more degen shit than MW. pot and the fookin kettle here. i am willing to forgive both women, but they make that hard to do when they attack one of my favorite guys. these people usu are the same who hate andrew anglin and TRS and spencer too. its so stupid. they were the ones who started this stupid infighting. and they are usually k1ke on a stick christian haters too. hmmmmm. also are purity spiral as fook. i dont like that varg seems to be closer to these guys. but we are a bunch of degen, k1ke enablers, phag enablers, degen, milo luvers.

heh. i wonder which side emily will gravitate towards. the dramatic women side, or the less dramatic phag joo shill side hahaha.

i dunno. i just think that a guy who had one gay experience, says ok, got it out of my system, i dont like that, is less degen than a woman who has 6 gorillion casual straight experiences!

like casual degen gay sex just seems more honest and transparent about its degeneracy, ie, there’s absolutely no other reason to have this except for degen gay hedonistic pleasure. there is no way this could ever create new life. it was never even on the table. you don’t have to take steps to prevent it. it just cant happen.

so yeah its inherently perverted….but i think equally perverted is using Birth Control so much and having So Much Recreational Sex, that you FORGET that this is the process that creates life!

dec 19

heh. spent hours at home doing a job related project because i was slightly ashamed about not finishing it by the time i left. dont want to disappoint the team. so i finished it at home. i dont want to do this every single day but i did really want to finish this before tomorrow morning. and i did. i mean i had to Streamline My Process because I had never done any of this before so it was slow going. at least now i could do it faster if needed. and i made some super in depth documentation. they might not appreciate all the details. too much they’ll say! well ok i’ll scale it back in the future. had a very relaxed stress free day today, including a 2 hour meeting that was more like a training class. didnt need to impress anyone or explain shit or sell shit. but i got more actual work done at home than i did while i was there.

office holiday lunch tomorrow, i was going to use today to prepare my witty banter, and failed to do that!

was so cold today could not do more than a 15 minute powerwalk.

still kind of sound like an autistic, spaghetti pockets moron when i talk to people, even just small talk! so frustrating.

I mean I try to be nice, I think they can see that i am trying to be nice and friendly and open and polite, but i am just a little socially awkward hehehe. i mean come on there are a few slightly awkward introverts in the office in addition to me!

dec 20

holiday lunch today. spent all yesterday finishing this “project” draft rather than preparing witty, charismatic banter to impress all 15 people in the department. ran a little late from office to restaurant. apologized profusely. only spot was sitting right next to My Direct Manager. he is a really good guy and I am grateful I can say that and it’s the truth. the majority of people don’t have a manager like that. I could TOTALLY get a Good Recommendation from this guy IF I do a good job AND I Just Darn Talk To Him!!!!! He is always in a good mood and laughing at his own jokes. I kind of like this. not in an arrogant way but more like he is genuinely a Jolly Man. He has more than a Semi Charmed Life and he KNOWS it and he is thankful for it. he has a great Career, he’s highly educated and working in a field he enjoys, working on a PhD in his field, from a good school, has a not-ugly wife and more than 2 young children. and good people skills, gets along with everybody, makes everybody feel comfortable. also he is tall and fairly handsome. but pretty down to earth and not arrogant. but not underconfident either.

yes i stalked his wife on linkedin and google. yes uncle bernard, i have NO BOUNDARIES hahahaha. (uncle bern is appalled that All Women have No Boundaries and are always GOOGLING people, he finds that crazy and rude. I see where he’s coming from….but dont you want to know about the people you work with? of course bern, or any normie would say……….JUST TALK TO THEM ABOUT IT.

I mean yeah I DO, I just use the online stuff to supplement and jog memory. To add to my notes. I can’t remember were so and so went to college, did they go to x y or z, i forgot what he said his wife does, how old his kids are, etc.

i felt a little bad because i was nervous and not contributing to the conversation like a normie. not very charismatic, not very witty. this is the downside from having a Rough Three Years. you don’t have anything interesting or positive to say.

or, in general, stories about yourself and your life. you dont have anything you can talk about but all your years of failure and rejection and giving up hahahaha. and you know you shouldnt talk about that! so what DO you talk about? your interests in Huhwhyte Nationalism, Alt Right, black metal? these are professionals with masters degrees making over 50k a year who go to ANTI-TRUMP protests and pro-hillary protests! and they’re gonna listen to the new, underachieving new guy on how their whole Weltanschauung is wrong? sheeeit. im the one making 13k a year, with no wife or kids, they’re making 50k a year and have a house, wife/husbando, and kids who are going to college and will prob be successful too, unless they fook up in college like I did!

so thoughts like this make it difficult to make small talk in big groups at lunch hahahaha.

i mean no ones asked me why i didnt get a masters degree, and if they do, i’ll once bitten twice shy, i wanted to get more working experience first, so i could determine what is the best masters degree to get. i just want to become competitive and work really any of a range of possible jobs. i like counseling but i honestly dont think it would be useful for me to get a masters degree in counseling. because i want to help white neet men and white marriages. not be a social worker to black thugs. i can’t TELL people that though!

i mean its similar to how people who want to become teachers have to start out their first few years in shitty black schools. people who want to become cops have to start out first few years in shitty black cities. its called PAYING YOUR DUES, its NORMAL.

so why aren’t more normies red-pilled on race then?

because they’re DOUBLING DOWN.

the teachers much moreso than the cops, hahahahaha.

every day children are taught to hate? klan families with kids wearing trump shirts. come on. there are about ten people tops in the klan in the US, and they don’t really HATE negros. They just want an end to forced diversity and forced anti-whitism. they want to be around other whites and have their children mate with other whites and not to live in dangerous nonwhite shitholes. they want a strong, safe community. they dont HATE anybody. they just dont want their white daughters having brown babies. stupid a&e commerican for “generation kkk.” really trying to hit people in the feels.

there’s like 5 people in the KKK in 2017 hahahahaha. COME ON.

do a show about the alt right. well, then they would spin it the same way their spinning spencer. a big part of the alt right hehehehe. but like in the atlantic piece, spencer looked pretty GOOD. I could see that actually REACHING one undecided person.

tok benedryl today at around 2:30 pm. got a sleeping mask as well. try that out. also got a tape measure for body to get exact measurements. waist: about 34 inches. chest: about 39. leg: ideally, 27 or 28. total manlet hahaha.

got any 33 27 pants hahahaha

but yeah i like having this. just so i know what muh actual body actually IS. of COURSE clothes makers are WILDLY inconsistent with their measurements. i need to know where to START though. 32? 33? 34?

dec 21

http://www.theblaze.com/news/2016/12/20/white-guys-offered-new-years-resolutions-from-ultra-liberal-mtv-news/

mtv new years resolutions for white guys, getting some coverage right nao

http://dailycaller.com/2016/12/19/mtv-offers-up-new-years-resolutions-for-white-guys-video/

http://www.vdare.com/posts/mtvs-new-years-resolutions-for-white-guys-a-response

white racist site vdare actually high in the news results hahahaha

http://www.breitbart.com/big-hollywood/2016/12/19/mtvs-new-years-resolutions-for-white-guys-stop-mansplaining-stop-saying-woke-blue-lives-matter-isnt-a-thing/

wow, would ya get a load of the khazar milkers on that

dec 21

went to lunch with old colleague i had not seen in a long time. the person who is very nice and kind to me. acts as a reference for me. mutually knows both me and…….That Woman. we actually had a very good and animated talk, no autistic silent moments, like no time had passed, and, i was kinda pleasantly surprised, we did not talk about That Woman at all. our colleague somewhat likes the gossip. i kinda expected them to say SO……whatever happened between you and that woman? and i was fully prepared to take the high road, but still be honest, and say yeah that really really sucked for me, i was really upset for a long time, it’s still sad, it’s just SAD, i was stupid but she was stupid too, i was so disappointed, i wish she tried a little harder to Euthanize Our Rel With Dignity, but oh well, life goes on, i understand why she did what she did, she’s still a good person, I wish her well, I forgive her, I’m not mad at her, I’m getting over it.

but didnt even have to say any of that.

of course at the same time i secretly hope the mutual friend will contact That Woman and say guess who I saw, he’s doing well, he got a new job, come on you should have been a little nicer to him. heh. and then i would totally Accept her. even though she’s older, probably fooked 20 badbois in the past 1.5 years, maybe had a baby, maybe had some abortions, maybe got more experience in being a horrible person and casual secs and throwing people away and acting like a baby. AND being more successful at me in job. being TOUGH. saying fook you we cant help you, i am the manager and i’m saying GOODBYE, we dont have the TIME to fix your unreasonable demands, it’s not WORTH IT to us.

that she was able to TOUGH IT OUT through tough personal times, and tough job times, and just ignore me like I was nothing, and tough it out on a job I was struggling so much with, and tough it out for SO much longer, AND bounce back from a layoff super quickly, into another high stress job where you have to be tough, but you probably get paid a slightly above average (avg being 27k a year) wage as compensation. and i cant tough it out well enough as an average normie, to make an average wage.

totally SMITING me AND then going on to do WAY better at life. insult to injury hehehehe. and its not intentional. and intent does absolutely matter. it was just extremely painful………………………..for me. hehehehehe.

i just hate doing the wrong thing. i hate thinking i might do the same wrong thing in the future. make the same mistake again because i will be a COWARD again. its not that i didnt know what I should do, what I should have done was obvious even at that time! I just didnt have the courage to say it. so my mistake was not having enough courage. not acting with courage in a timely manner.

is that really such a god damn CRIME? i think other people would have been more forgiving of that. it was just a fookin PERFECT STORM, a perfect shitstorm. worst possible thing at the worst possible time.

fooking peloton commerical. i want to bang the rich skinny mom. i want to bang the tuff gurl robin the peloton instructor. i am not going to go easy on HER hahahahahahahahahahahahahaha.  but my main concern is, what is this womans CAREER to be living in that HOUSE??????? clearly ivy league graduate degree, near-c-level management in a fortune 10 company hehehehe. all those women like to work 100 hours a week then exercise 50 hours a week because they know they still need to have a perfect body hahahaha. then they neglect their family and their kids grow up to be school shooter neet virgin druggie burnouts hahahahahahaha. at least they can afford their drugs with their mommys money. careerbux hahahaha. fooking peloton. fook peloton. stupid word. stupid shitbike. fook it.

hehehe the colleague gave me a nice pastry/cake/sweets and i ate a chunk of it and it turned out to have like 450 calories in it hehehehehe. oyyyyyy veyyyyyyyy. they are the kind of nice person who always brings in treats and snacks and donuts and sweets and buys people lunch. my god. that is how i became acquainted with her, because she was always NICE to me, and I really do appreciate that kind of stuff.

heh. that was how i became friends with That Woman too, who was nice in a similar way. damn i miss that. yeah its NO SURPRISE at all that i got feelings for her. a pretty young gurl being VERY NICE TO YOU. the only thing that’s SURPRISING was that I didnt fall in luv with her SOONER! but that was HOW MUCH I respected peoples relationships, that i had NO desire to interfere or fook up her relship, that I didn’t let myself get feelings for a Taken Woman. but once she was not taken, and i let myself get the feels, the HORSE WAS OUT OF THE BARN and it wasnt ever gonna go back in. HOW IS THAT SO HARD TO UNDERSTAND? it isn’t. i dont think any reasonable adult would find that hard to understand. sheeeeit, even SHE probably UNDERSTOOD it. she just didnt want to face a tuff situation in order to do me one last favor. just back out and do the irish goodbye hahahahaha.

whats funny is that i have done the irish goodbye many a time when I was a drinker. but that was different. I was just leaving social events quietly, not Terminating entire relationships!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11

i just like the term irish goodbye hahahaha.

also you just CANT pull an irish goodbye on a real relship of 2.7 years. thats not what it is, thats not how it works. it’s just sneaking out of a large-ish PARTY when you are too drunk, tired, or awkward to say goodbye in a POLITE manner like a NORMIE. its super MINOR. Abandoning a relship needs a different term altogether. How about “abandonment” or “abandoning a relship.”

which is what i thought “ghosting” was. but thats a stupid word too and i think it works better with the minor semi faux pas of an irish goodbye!

so yeah. 90% of the time i did it, i was falling down drunk, shouldnt have been even LOOKING at a car, and probably didnt want anyone to try to stop me from driving. YIKES. glad those days are GONE. at least i became a better person than THAT.

maybe i was blazed af on MJ? thats a little better.

was listening to this middle class man tell his story, i guess he would be one of our “customers” or “clients” so I tried to help him for 2 minutes and practice my bullshitting on a system i knew even less than he did, and he was so gracious and nice, and was like you guys have such patience to work with people like me, and i was like hey just doin our job, thats what were here for, glad to do it, i’m just glad you dont have an emergency right now and youre screaming at me to fix it, and I don’t have a goddamn EXPERT in the next room who is basically twiddling his thumbs waiting for something to do! and then I grab him he helps you and I watch and learn along with you.

the “client”/internal customer might be one of the 15% who dont have a masters degree, but he has plenty of Industry Experience in a Bigass Fortune 10 company. kinda autistic but just really really nice. I appreciate that.

he talked about his son and daughter. he convinced his son not to go away to college. he sat him down and showed him spreadsheets and convincing calculations that the son could save at LEAST 50 grand by living at home and going to the cheapo college. that the College Experience wasnt WORTH 50 grand that you would struggle to pay back.

the kid listened. he lived at home, worked 60 hours a week in a Machine Shop, did associates at cheap college, then finished Engin Degree at local univ, all while living at home, working full time, doing many many classes online. now he is an engineer making damn good money with a wife and kid and dogs. about 148800000000000 times better than me.

like i bet he made more money at the machine shop than i am right now. and 60 hours a week. AND doing engin classes. the father said i would go by his room at 4 in the morning and be like WHACHA DOIN SON and the son was like i got an assignment due at 6 AM!

point is, kid had a great work ethic!

another guy tried to convince HIS son of the same thing, showed him the numbers, said here’s what you’ll have to pay back, taking a real unflinching longterm look at finances in other words, you can save a LOTTTTTT of money by going to cheap local college for 2 years, THEN you can transfer to finish your degree at State Univ. it doesnt say podunk redneck college on your diploma! and the kid fought him and say no i want to go to state univ right out of high school. well, at least this kid is going an engin major!

well at least he is probably getting some prime college poosay!!!!! 18 year old QTs! this is a party skool after all. All my life i will regret not being able to bang 18 year old 9/10’s like he is doing no. sheeeeeeeeeeeit thats WORTH 100 grand, isn’t it?

probably, because that instills you with confidence that will last you a LIFETIME, and then you will prob be successful in life, and MAKE 100 grand to pay those loans back, be a winner chad normie, have GFs and a wife and eventually children. because you banged some 18 yo QT’s while in college which gave you MASSIVE CONFIDENCE. BABOON BRAINFRAME.

OR, you could just get rejected, or just not even really try, and get super frustrated because you see 14880000000000000000000 perfect qt’s a day and you have never been with one. or if you have it was just for 2 days then the door was shut hehehehehe. and still pay the 100 grand and come out with no confidence, no skills, no charisma, no value add, no women, no charm, no grace, no game.

im glad im not in a univ town where i would see 60000000000000000000 18-25 yo qt’s all day erry day. i used to be. it was RIDICULOUS. it’s bad enough if i see a handful of Young Sluts when I go to the MALL twice a year. no thank you. TRIGGERED.

i know of a local skool where there are a good number of young qt’s. right out of high school. 18-20 years old. but half of em arent huhwhyte. this is triggering in a different way. but actually less painful I think! than seeing tons of young white women. that hits even harder on the lizard brain. but yeah race matters too. but i have some power in that. i feel empowered by contributing 10 dollars a month to pro-white people hehehehehe, empowered in a way i dont feel when dealing with young qt white wimmin. maybe if i gave THEM 10 dollars a month they would stroke muh ego. hang out with me and be nice to me and interested in me hahahahaha.

i might not be able to have white children of my own, and i see me donating money to Alt Right and Pro White as doing whatever I CAN do to help The Cause, The Movement, My People, My Race, the future of my people and our children, even if they are not MY children directly.

to be fair i am dnating 2 dollars to people that are NOT explicitly pro-white. they haven’t crossed the rubicon yet. but they are white conservatives hehehehehe. who are not anti white even implicitly. i would prefer that they be explicitly pro white. would get me to up muh donation hehehehe.

white conservatives get 12 dollars a year, pro white white conservatives get 20 dollars a year hehehehehe. upmost tier gets 25 a year. weev, andrew anglin, TRS, mill woes, fatherland.

well COULDNT i do MORE good by just donating MORE money to ONE source? save all muh donations for TRS? maybe that will push them over the edge into……what exactly. they are already on a good path.

i am even gonna give 5 dollars to foreveralone george feels.

lena dunham goes into the oven hahahahaha. you wish you had abortion. you WOULD. i’m more surprised by the fact that shes never HAD an abortion. i bet the lying jooish bitch is LYING. i bet she DID have abortions and is trying to portray herself as some innocent “normal” woman. close your legs you damn evil satanic wh0re. we dont need any more of your kind in this world. actually she prob SHOULD abort her evil SATAN SPAWN. but not even fox joos will tell you that shes jooish. NORMIES think shes WHITE. they think that fat pig amy schumer is white. this is how blue pilled normies are on the JQ. and why the JQ is such a bigass mindblowing game changing thing. it changes you hahahahaha.

and i am HAPPY that so many YOUNG people are hip to the JQ, even if semi-jokingly. hell yes you can have fun and make jokes with it. but i think they honestly GET IT too. its IMMENSELY powerful to have YOUNG people understand the JQ. I didnt get it until I was……i dunno at least 28 years old. I mean I was aware of joos and calling people k1k3s when i was 22, and knew j00s were scheming and greedy and evil back then……..but I didnt REALLY understand it. i wasnt even reading stormfront or vnn, and there wasnt any alt right or /pol for me to read. no pepes, no memes. no trs, no weev, no daily stormer, no /pol, no greg johnson, no richard spencer. what a sad world hahahaha.  im not even sure if there was reddit. the best thing we had was heartiste. who is honestly pretty GOOD. he is pretty good on the JQ. but was he back THEN? prob not as much.

i did get into greg johnson around 2012 though hahahaha. didnt i do my amazon timeline recently???!??!?!?? well i was reading and listening to greg and counter currents WELL before I bought his book.

2012: mindweapons, counter currents, and eradica did it for me. they converted me hahahaha. and david duke. THANK YOU hahaha. oh yeah i should donate to counter currents prob eh.

i dont expect ANY woman to understand this. I just want a woman who is instinctively REPULSED by being with any race other than a white man. I want a woman who has never BEEN with a nonwhite man, WOULD NEVER EVEN THINK OF IT without disgust. And I honestly think there are a goodly number of these women out there, they just wont tell it on the mountain in front of their friends for fear of being called you-know-what.

 

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FEDGOV SNATCHING BITCOIN WILLY NILLY

might be a misleading title. or depending how the future plays out, maybe not.

thurs 1 23, 9.45 pm

a rare weeknite post. thurs night. mon tues wed i would get out of ARBEIT MACHT FREI and IMMEDIATELY go to bed, took ALL my strength just to get thru the day. did NOT watch tv, did NOT unwind, well I had a small snack thank GOD, and it’s GOOD not to watch TV Filth, but I was also worried because they are STILL laying people off, and I kind of WANT to be laid off, because then I won’t have to go to that godawful job, and I’ll get paid unemployment, and can look for a better job, and be able to prove i was legitly laid off for business needs. rather than Quitting for being an Emotional, Unemployable Loser.

i honestly don’t know muh chances. by now the MAJORITY of the group of people hired at the same time as me are GONE. LAID OFF. maybe about 65% of them. But i’m sticking around because I have Good Attendance, and Good Performance.

Yesterday was Super Stressful, a MIRACLE that I got thru, but today was actually not so bad, maybe the best day I have had so far. 23 phone calls, about 17 minutes average call, and 6:20 total phone time.  I handled myself pretty well, had several very pleased callers. The trick really is to just Chill Out and not Worry, and get into that mindset even when you get something you’ve never HEARD of before, and then keep calm and Reach Out to the resources available to you without panicking or overthinking.  and then bringing that sense of calm confidence to the caller. this is of course MUCH easier said than done and has taken me a LONG time to even BEGIN to do so. other people have gotten LAID OFF because they did not do this FAST enough. It’s a miracle I have done it fast enough. this is the type of thing with a steep learning curve and PEOPLE NEED TIME to get good at it, and they’re UNJUSTLY laying people off before even letting them have that time! very nice people that I liked! the worst is when you realize “Oh sh1t I haven’t seen that person in a few days,” and then you never see them again because they’ve been LAID OFF. well I hope they are getting decent unemployment!!!

and tom is fri and i have a fun social event semi planned for this weekend, nice dinner and gaming with old frand. thank GOD.

AND I came home tonight feeling ok for once, and found muh new silver round waiting for me, which I got for a decent price. lesson: amagi metals is a much better price than apmex. although a smaller selection.

AND I finally got muh bitcoin delivered. I guess the REAL smart thing to do would be to Buy Bitcoin Low, wait for it to SKYROCKET, and then buy Silver with it. hehehe. would that even work? Or would silver skyrocket right alongside Bitcoin, and then silver would be like 800 dollars an ounce? hehehe.

So I look at muh 6 pieces of silver and can’t help but think of the old story of Judas betraying CHRIST for thirty pieces of silver. if we assume those were 1 tr oz pieces, and silver at ABOUT $20 an ounce, then that’s about 600$ to sell our LORD down the river.

and I play with muh nice little STACK and thank GOD for the PRIVILEGE of being able to enjoy this silver.

but yeah. kinda gonna slow down on the mad spending i think. first world privilege. thank GOD. THIS is why I thank GOD all the time. I could be getting LITERALLY raeped up the A every day.

i talked for 2 seconds but pretty normally with the QT Gurl  today as well. might be muh new #1 from that place. NICE. simple small talk whilst smoking a cig outside. I only try to smoke no more than 2 cigs thru the day, and 1 before the beginning. so 3. given the stress level of the job, one SHOULD be smoking like a whole pack for one 8 hour shift, hehehe. a cig after every call.

heh heh if you don’t wake up every morning DREADING going into your DREADFUL job, then YOU DON’T HAVE A REAL JOB. REAL MEN Dread Going To Their Job Every Day. Want to PUKE and Poop Blood.

Or I guess real men wouldn’t get so SCARED, they wouldn’t let it GET to them, but they’d also perform their job well enough not to get LAID OFF or god forbid FIRED.

so the job does get bearable i suppose. and that is all i can ask. It certainly hasn’t become permanently bearable, just starting to show signs that it could be. maybe. but it might get REAL bad in feb. really wouldn’t put anything past it. I don’t TRUST the job at ALL. but my COWORKERS are decent good people thank GOD. it’s just a f00ked up JOB.  heh but this is the best a person with a WORTHLESS DEGREE can do in 2014! a young smart man near me also has a Worthless Degree. But he is early twenties, still young. great guy though, he’s helped me a lot, very smart, hope he can find a better job before he gets Old, hehehe.

lord, just bought like 11 more dollars of bitcoin because the price is going down. then I realized it would be smartest to WAIT for it to HIT bottom, THEN buy, because now I’m losing money as we speak.

Heh. I do not trust bitcoin more than I trust SILVER or GOLD. But I wouldn’t mind making a Profit off bitcoin, and if I had bought before the Big Boom in OCtober 2013 or so, I WOULD have. would like to get on some of that. wait for it to crash again, then buy, then boom again, then get rich quick, hehehe.

but don’t spend too much because the FEDGOV could snatch this stuff willy nilly. so I immediately move btc from my coinbase wallet into a blockchain wallet, then download the dam wallet. not sure if that would keep FEDGOV from snatching it, hehehe.

 

FORGIVING PEOPLE WHO DID NOTHING WRONG; ENCOURAGING PEOPLE TO GAMBLE INSTEAD OF WORK

nov 3 sunday

another lesson learned, be careful of LINKEDIN. I was playing around with it the other day for the first time in months, and then I was reminded of why I hated it: everyone in my Suggested People Do You Know, well, many of them I in fact DID know, and they were all dockers and lawyers and top 1% and not just successful, but SUPER successful. And that sucks.

So, stick to Twitter, avoid LInkedIn. I am following Local Powerful Successfuls like Crazy. People I DON’T already know, hehehehe

I was just thinking, I couldn’t remember My Official ADvice on Drinking for You All. I would say, if you’re a HUGE NEET with NO FRIENDS, then it might be worthwhile to drink so you can become more social and normal and make some friends, overcome the social anxiety.

But if the drinking becomes a Problem, then you have to quit drinking entirely. But BEFORE that point, you MIGHT be able to use alcohol as a TOOL to help you Make Friends. YOUR MILEAGE MAY VARY.

Ultimately the drinking did not help me so much, as I was drinking MORE than muh friends, and starting to annoy muh friends with my obnoxious behavior when Drunk. So eventually I did stop drinking and I am very glad for that.

But did Drinking HELP me in forming the friendships in the first place? Actually probably YES. Those first few Good Times that Solidify things, those may well have been alcohol-fueled. heh. what a double edged sword.

So I would say, use alcohol to HELP you FORM friendships, and then quit it as soon as it stops helping you, or you get addicted, get a DUI, etc. Because I won’t lie, Alcohol can take away social anxiety and make it easier to talk to people.

BUT ALSO: there are times when it DOESN’T: when you are RAGING DRUNK and you STILL can’t talk to people, STILL have social anxiety, so you continue drinking until you become an Unlikable MONSTER. Don’t let that happen 2 u!!

* there are still websites where you can Gamble with Real Money in the USA.  They didn’t ALL shut down with “Black Friday” like 3 years ago. Just the biggest ones, and that did scare off a lot of gamblers. but there are still a few left. The one that looks most promising ATM IMHO is bovada.lv  go check it out and form your own opinions.

but be very careful and play like the Feds could steal your funds at any minute. Also I think signing up with a Credit Card can hurt your credit score. So you get some third party “E-Wallet” like PayPal or NeTeller or Skrill and have that be the intermediary between your credit card and the Casino.

WARNING: I am already a PRoblem Gambler by the definition of the gd CASINO, because I am trying to gamble as a source of INCOME, NOT as a source of Entertainment (well, there IS entertainment in there too.) But the reason I LIKE gambling is because it seems like a more REALISTIC way of MAKING MONEY than what I can make at a JOB OR CAREER.

It doesn’t take a genius. What’s better, never making more than 30k a year with Stupid Gay Underjobs or Upper Working Class Bachelors Degree Jobs, or Oops you got the wrong Masters Degree Jobs,  OR……. consistently making over 30k a year – perhaps much more – with Gambling?

Read some “RUle of Thumb” that says that the Highest Stakes Table you should play, is where your total bankroll is NO LESS than Three Hundred Times the amount of the Big Blind.

Well, My Bankroll is like 9000 chips, and I felt real nervous playing at a table where the big blind is TEN chips. This is the Second-Lowest stakes holdem table at PokerStars. So I would advise, just simply play the lowest table you can, for a longass time.

Especially if you’re not greedy, you’re just like me, you’re not trying to get rich, you just want to make more than 37k a year, you just want to make 200 dollars a day. You can easily make that in ONE hand at THE LOWEST stakes tables. No need to shoot for the stars here. Because then you might lose it ALL.

heh. playing the 5/10 blinds table, second lowest stakes, right NOW, been folding 85% of hands, finally played a sweet premium hand of KK. when from like 960 chips (1000 buy in max), now at 1500. so for my purposes, that would be like TWO DAYS OF WORK, and probably enough to cover like a $50 “banking fee” for them to write you a check, and it took like ONE HOUR, while I was playing ONE TABLE, in the background, while writing a BLOG.

* If you’re doing another task, I would say play no more than one table at a time. If you’re trying to WORK, play two or more tables at a time.

* Heh. Something FEEEELS WRONG about ENCOURAGING PEOPLE TO GAMBLE INSTEAD OF WORK. Heh. I don’t encourage gambling over working except when you can make more money gambling than you can working, hehehehehehehehehe. big difference.

* OK OK OK that sounds like the mantra of a gambling addict, a terrible EXCUSE. HOWEVER it doesn’t diminish the TRUTH than in 2013, The Economy Still Sucks, The Fedgov is LYING to you about Job Statistics, College is a Bubble, just like Housing and Mortgages, most people should not be going to college because they’re getting useless degrees at an ungodly price, you can make more money as a Skilled Tradesperson than with a Masters Degree, even becoming a Lawyer is not failsafe, plus if you Hate Skool, you’ll never outperform all the Tryhards who are the only ones who turn their educations into a Return On Investment anyway.

Heh. Plus you will fall in luv with Grills and not be able to forget about them 8 years later when you are an old bald fat bad at getting interviews loser, hahahahahaha.

* When you win a nice hand, then on PokerStars use the little icon to Save Your Hand on Boom.com so you can watch it again later. Bookmark and replay your best wins, then look at them later when you need an ego boost. That is why you fold 85% of the time, to win on Premium Hands like that.

* How about this: just go to the physical Casino and gamble for real money at a live table. I think 48 out of 50 states have legal gambling, it’s not just fricken Vegas. You PROBABLY have a Casino in your local Major City, in other words, or the nearby Indian Reservation. Not hard to find A Real Casino. The ONLY thing that stops me is Social Anxiety basically, to LOOK LIKE A NEWB who’s never played at a live table before, hehehehehe. well that is muh 2014 new years resolution. pretty good one, amirite.

* protip. When you have a dream about a grill you were in TRUE Luv with 8 years ago, and it brings up all that old luv you wish you could just let go of, well, just tell yourself you HAVE let go of it, and that you will only get those uncomfortable feels for THAT DAY ONLY, and by tomorrow, after sleeping on it ONE night, you’ll be back to “normal” and will have gotten over that grill again.

*Protip: something that’s been bothering moi. FORGIVENESS. You say to yourself, yep, I just don’t care anymore, it’s been 9 years, I forgive such and such a grill for breaking muh poor widdle heart. water under the bridge. time heals all wounds. AND THEN you think, WHAT IF this is all ON ME, and there’s nothing I need to forgive her for? Not ONLY should I have not been butthurt at her, but I don’t even need to FORGIVE her for anything, because she never did anything wrong, I just overreacted and got butthurt like a spoiled child??????? so Forgiveness is useless and worthless and Worse Than Worthless, it just shows how you STILL haven’t gotten to the TRUTH of the matter, where it’s ALL ON YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Eh, I would say, You’re Overthinking it, and it’s better to Forgive Someone for Something they didn’t do, than to be Butthurt at them for something they didn’t do. Who gives a f00k. You are ten steps ahead of everything. Like you;ll ever see them again. Once again, it’s a situation that exists only in yer mind. Who even KNOWS if it’s all on you anyway. Can’t be. She can’t not be at least a LITTLE bit responsible. She was at least a LITTLE bit of a B, amirite?