CAPTAIN SAVE A CHILD

mar 22

heh.  i was thinking about how ridiculous it is to be rejected by something you want to be part of. like i want to give you a donation, nope we wont take your donation because you suck. thats even worse than we wont take YOU, but well take your money. what about just stop sending us money. but you still do good work and i want to support you.

i mean with WOMEN, you say, welp, i tried, i struck out, you dont want me, i’ll just move on. but what if WEEV rejects me and says he doesnt want my money? that doesnt make weev’s work less valuable! i would still want to support it!

well this is not gonna happen, i just got amused because i thought it might happen hahahaha. no weev is not gonna reject me or my money. it would just be funny and ridiculous if he did!

well it would be CUCKY to continue donating to him if he did. so i would say i luv what he does but he doesnt want my money, so i stopped giving.

anyway its not werf talking about because it didnt even happen. it shouldnt happen. its worrying about absolutely absurd shit.

did you know you could get a DUI for passing out drunk and Sleeping It Off in the drivers seat of a car? this is what happened to chris cantwell, who i am kinda liking more and more. he is a better writer than i guessed he would be, and he is kinda like me in that as a young man he rejected the authority of the CHURCH and was very rebellious and he liked drinking and smokin MJ and didnt want to stop because it was too much fun. then he started getting DUI’s and seeing that drug people were degen losers. but he kept drinking because now he had a drinking problem. anyway he went to jail for 2 dui’s, that sucks. some states its 3, i guess in his state it was 2! damn! i might become a libertarian too hahahaha. but now he is moving away from that and is becoming more and more racist, which i like. he struggles like crazy and he is trying so hard. i can sympathize and Empathize. he always has trouble with some damn dirty sluts. probably because deep down he doesnt believe he deserves a good white women, so he gets these crazy dirty mulatto sluts.  but he does deserve a good hwite woman!!!!

holy shit. when i get up at 5 am, like CLOCKWORK i want to take a MAD powernap around 3:30, 4 pm.  i would not even be done with an Honest Days Work by then!

GLR’s “hwyte power” is quickly losing momentum. it starts off very strong in the first 2 chapters but then drops off. still very readable and not at all bad, but just a big dropoff in momentum. still worth buying and reading though. just not as fun as it was in the beginning. maybe a joo editor would have helped him with his pacing hahahaha.

there is a new autistic muppet starting on sesame street in april. i should not be surprised. actually i AM surprised theres not a Transexual Muppet yet. honestly. that would be the best way to sell such a thing to children. honestly! i dont even think there is a GAY muppet, that is REALLY shocking. i cant believe theres never been a gay sesame street muppet in the past 10 years. what a great way to turn hwyte kids into gay sissies who will never reproduce.

he spends a lot of time talking about Communiss in Cuba and china and the communist connection with oswald and the JFK assassination, whcih to be sure, were uge stories when he wrote the book. i think he is saving up most of his joo hate until like page 100 or so. just wish he’d get out with it earlier.

tempted to look at reddit relships but fighting the minor urge cuz i know its gonna be filled with leftist hamster wimmin and omega sissie bitchbois apologizing to them hahahahaha and begging for table scraps.

mean the relships arent rocket science when the gurl LIKES you and is WILLING to make an effort to be with you. thats all you need. then you can make all the mistakes you want and she will keep giving you chance after chance after chance after chance. none of this one strike and youre out shit. that just means you NEVER had even ONE chance. so i guess i should feel reassured by that. because once i thought i had ONE chance hahaha. you NEVER get just ONE chance. unless you do ahahaha. who cares. god damn negro fooking degenerate pig wh0res. nothings sacred with these degenerate jooish pigs.

ok ok i am being negative again. negative nancy. have to have a more positive attitude. it was an overly negative attitude and negative thinking that got me into this MESS.

how to stop negative thoughts? you identify the thought as negative, then say STOP! YOU SHALL NOT PASS!!!!!!! and just say that to most of your thoughts because most of them are probably negative. about how women are horrible, or how you are a weak soft untough neet virgin loser who cant handle the tough adult world.

you can keep the negative thoughts about joos because they really are awful hahahahahahaha. but i would recommend thinking about some pleasant things to balance that out.

some people feel about GOD and JESUS and RELIGION the way I feel about The Hwyte Race. Good for them I guess.  I wish I had that kind of faith but I dont.  as long as they have a healthy sense of racial hygiene they dont bother me. when you start adopting africans for jesus youve gone too far. or missionarying in africa . well i mean the mormons do that and then they STILL have 10 white kids by age 23, so…..good for them. hope they stay that way.  i have heard unsubstantiated rumors that mormons are darkening hehehe. i hope not.

nothing against the christians. i am technically one. its not an inherently bad message. i dont even think its inherently jooish. although some people make it pretty jooish. and that’s bad. obviously.

franco sinazi with his new song which is a parody of “strangers in the night” and is very very very catchy. play it for normies and see if they notice. negros beaners and skypes hahahaha.

just waiting to go to damn bed. i might not have done much but i probably did my best hahahahahahaha. well i guarantee you i didnt do my worst. and at least im not a neet anymore. and i am not a virgin hahaha.

mar 23

wow a metal show that i immediately said YES IM GOING I HAVE TO GO I AM EXICITED TO MAKE AN EFFORT TO GO because it was on a good night and most importantly, a good location. great location on a good night. the band taake. now i dont know much about current year taake, but I do know that the first 3 taake albums are very good. and that taake/hoest made insensitive remarks about mudslims and once got drunk and drew a SVASTICA on his chest hahahahahahaha. he is a drunk degenerate but I feel he might be a little racist.

he couldnt keep up the impossibly high average set by his first three albums, but for those he earned his place in the pantheon and I will gladly get high energy about going to see him live in a few months. a honest Black Metal show. haven’t been to many of those. closest thing would be I saw mayhem once. mayhem counts as black metal hahahaha. are you kidding, mayhem totally counts as black metal.

i dont see why black metal shouldnt be “live” music.  I would luv to see any of muh fav black metal bands live. i would gladly go see deathspell omega play a shitty sloppy show hahahaha.

anyway. eavesdropped on great conversation between successful professionals about their college age kids. you just assume the kids are gonna get masters degrees, get good jobs, get married, have children.

well what if they dont. what if they fook up one of those. or like me, ALL of them.

the kids all have IDEAS of what they want to do. well i wanted to go to MED SKOOL but got cold feet on that so i started an ENGIN degree instead. i know to get a good paid internship after my second year of uni.

im an 18 year old gurl and i want to become a physician assistant and i know i have to get all a’s in college and go to a good grad school to do that, and i am prepared for all that. i know to never get a B, never to do drugs, never to get less than 3 good internships. these middle class parents set their kids up to succeed hahahaha.

well i wasnt set up to FAIL. i was given all the CHANCES to succeed but I didnt have enough personal agency or pushing. I needed someone to make bigger decisions for me because i didnt know how to make big decisions. i didnt want to go to grad school, i didnt even want to go to college, i just wanted to sm0ke MJ and jerk off to porn all day hahahahahahahahaha.

i mean what do you do as a concerned parent when your kid starts to fook up. do you say, well he’s old enough to start making his own mistakes, and hopefully learn from them? what if he doesn’t learn from them?

i wish i had been more of a normie like this guys kids hahahaha. i bet this 19 year old engineer nerd is actually a normie chad who has had a gf hahahaha. he will prob be successful even though he as a 19 year old boy likes sleeping in till noon sometimes. oh. i thought the RULE WAS, you have to get up at 4 am at the latest EVERY SINGLE DAY if you EVER wanted to be successful in life, ie, outcompete all the competition and get a sick 30k a year middle class job hahahaha.

basically, i was weirder than i thought i was hahahaha. i was SUPER weird. SUPER jelly of the NORMIES.

and maybe for normies, its not such a god damn neverending struggle to succeed. its not easy, they still work hard, they struggle some, but its not like madly thrashign just to tread water. they are not always on the verge of falling apart. otherwise more normies would fail.

well there’s plenty of failures too!

anyway weekend nao. took a benedryl. will take 2 valiums later. wouldnt mind some MJ. but not craving it as bad as i did 1 month ago thank god. I am still prepared to buy a huge quantity of it should the opportunity present itself.

i dont like how women make you all competitive hahahaha. i had a dream about some old friends, some really great guys i remember fondly. it wasnt until i was hanging out with them as a group with WOMEN that I became aware of the idea that, damn, these guys are COOLER than me, and would totally have an advantage over me for women. yeah it MAKES SENSE, they ARE cooler than me, I just wish I could hang out with these guys apart from these women. These are good guys and I dont want WOMEN to cause any DRAMA. but why should I be mad at the GUYS? and i wasnt. i was butthurt at the GURLS hahahahaha.

There never was any real drama, thank GOD.  i mean this is just the classic broes before hoes situation.

taake live. thats pretty cool though. i wont know the majority of the songs but i bet it will be good. hoest is known as a Good Performer. Intense. im sure there will even be qt yung gurls there because qt young gurls like metal nao, they have for like 6 years hahaha. maybe i can get some of hoests sloppy seconds hahahaha.  i know better than to want to marry a metal grrrrl hahahaha. not interested. expectations status: managed.

ate dinner, back, took valium, now sitting here drinking coffee, play some cards, this is the best time to do MJ but i dont have any. prob should not take valium then drink coffee, may be like throwing valium in the trash hahaha. oh well. whats done is  done.

being able to SELL stuff. being TOUGH. these are good LIFE SKILLS that will be valuable in ANY and EVERY job. its simple. the better you are at these things, the better you will do in life. DIRECT proportion. direct relationship. really its full blown CAUSE AND EFFECT, not just corrolation.  the younger you are when you learn how to SELL shit and to BE TOUGH, the better, because the easier it will be for you to MASTER these skills quickly.

i was always pretty weak at both.  i cant sell myself to women, cant sell myself to employers, cant sell my damn RACE to other members of my race. and yeah being TOUGH will help you SELL better too. sales.

how jooish is casablanca. i often watch TCM channel and see oldass movies. most of them are more jooish than i would like. hollywood was jooed since like the 1920s. since movies began they were jooed. casablanca. heavy themes of the natzees are the bad guys. evil natsees. well shit. do you expect a movie where the natsees are the GOOD guys? theres never been a single one. expectations. manage them.

but yeah he is lovelorn for ingrid bergman. not bad. he never wanted to see her again. what the hell happened between them in paris? she dumped him for lazlo? but she really luvs rick?

wirrten by joos, directed by a joo. its def watchable though. good cuddler with a good waifu hahaha if she doesnt fall asleep because its so old and boring and then leave you for a more EXCITING man.

also its CONFUSING. thats my fault because everything is CONFUSING to me, i have a learning disability called everythings confusing because i sm0ked too much w33d 10 years ago, so i can’t make sense, understand, or explain anything.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Casablanca_(film)

you know who WASNT jooish? HITCHOCK. WELLES.

bogart fought AGAINST the fascists in spain in casablanca. joos are always anti fascist. therefore, fascists are the good guys hahahaha. what was the most successful, long lived fascist state? how did croatia happen. was croatia ever “fascist”? what about sweden? norway was “occupied” but it wasnt technically an “axis” power. was sweden?

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sweden_during_World_War_II

it was “neutral” and unoccupied

maybe norway resented this?

i dunno its impossible for me to learn and to answer questions and understand situations at all , hahahaha

NOTHING MAKES SENSE. NOTHING. hahahaha. you can try to make sense of it, but you will fail.

had some diet red cherry mello yello today. when i used to drink soda i used to get code red or code blue mt dew. what the hell was the blue stuff called. VOLTAGE. omg. i was notorious for drinking mt dew VOLTAGE. best soda ever. but they didnt make a diet version. i didnt see if they had blue diet mello yello but they had red and i was happy with that.

of course diet soda is so crappy you dont like it as much. i just had 1 because i was at burger king and had a drink and they had one of those touch screen 50 flavors sodas. pretty amazing that. how the hell do these minimum wage people fix such a thing when its broken. there were white kids working there. probably because fast food is actually such a TOUGH job only white kids are SMART enough to HANDLE it. nonwhites are TOO DUMB FOR FAST FOOD JOBS.

i mean these are not easy jobs folks. you have a TON of shit to do, with no fookups. dealing with disgusting fat degen customers stuffing their fat opioid degenerate faces and bitching at these poor white kids.

808 pm. taking second valium.

NORMIES can get MJ rather easily because they are SOCIAL. but normies also dont become total p0theads. they are happy to just partake once in a while, in moderation, or a huge binge every couple months. that’s basically moderation.

so im saying degen p0theads are not normies??? in a way they ARENT!

so are normies winners or losers? i would say generally they are winners compared to losers and nonnormies! 28k might not seem like a huge winner…..but it really is! and prob most normies make arund that. a fast food manager makes that.

oh well. at least i am not fat any more. and i have a place to live. and a good fam. it just sucks that at one time i had a halfway decent MIND……and now i dont.  i mean i am not batshit schizophrenic thank GOD…..but i just feel like a confused idiot child mcuh of the time.

and i want to do MJ????? you think that will HELP this mental state? fook no, itll make it 14 times worse!!!!!

heh. it would be really fun to get blazed as fook and then go to that taake concert! and then just stay in the back. or maybe go right up front and give Roman Salutes to hoest so he knows I am down with the 14 words hahaha.

MAYBE there will be ANTIFA protesting the show like antifa protested marduk recently at some of their US shows because marduk Is Interested in Semi Fascist A E S T H E T I C S.  and they were never photographed with a svastica on their chest hahaha. thats more than enough to get you protested by jooish antifa.

at their best, taake is much less boring than marduk. marduk has like 1 classic song. taake has several and they are much more creative and brilliant than marduk’s 1 classic song (“christraping black metal” which just relies on 2 very catchy riffs.) taake has riffs that are very catchy, but still somewhat “weird”, and they piece 1400 riffs catchy but weird riffs together in a way that does not sound like riff salad masturbation like nile hahahaha. he has a good songwriting sense and a great production sense as well. but again all this kinda declined after the first 3 albums. also he comes from the same town as b00rtzum hahahaha. also he wears super grim corpse paint and convincingly pulls off grim and hate-filled.  also he waves a large norwegian flag sometimes, which suggests sympathies to Nationalism. that or he supports the marxist zionist ZOG traitors who runs norway now hahahaha and is a total NEOCOHEN.

pretty sure he is a drunk tho and might do other drugs. pretty degen.

i am cautiously optimistic it will be a fun show even if i only know 1 or 2 songs. he might even have a new album out now, who knows.

ok i guess he had a us tour in 2016 but did not play near me so i didnt miss anything.

ok, shining is also doing a us tour with REVENGE. not big on shining but i think REVENGE would be an awesome live show. and i would prob stay for shining hahaha even though they are totally degenerate and ridiculous.

sheeeeeeit that show is coming to town but in the worst possible venue, a venue i will avoid for being in a black ghetto and just the trashiest place in the trashiest neighborhood, where i have missed GOOD shows just because i didnt want to go to that shitty shitty club that even by Metal standards is ultra degenerate. i would go if someone else were driving and i cannot really arrange that. well shit maybe i could park in the nearest hwite neighboorhood and get an uber from there and back hahahahaha.

oh shit i dont have a smartphone so i cant get an uber hahahaha.

i mean this place is just no fun and a huge buzzkill anyway. and shining is degen AF, glorifying drugs and suicide. whereas revenge glorifies death, destruction, power, conquering, slaughtering, hellstorm, very very ultra masculine. but kinda degen because of their total nihilism and unfocused hate. lets just get drunk and hate everything. hate all humanity equally kind of misanthropy that has gone beyond mere despair.

i would prefer just to see revenge headlining in a smaller, nicer club.

and j. read is a BEAST of a drummer and basically i would just be going to see him in person doing his incredible stuff. and sometimes the guy from angel corpse plays with them, pete helmkamp, and he is a kewl dude. and probably less degen, more principled, less of a drunk hahaha. not sure if helmkamp is on this tour.

its not cool to be a drunk you guys. its worse than you ever imagined. stop fooking drinking. you are doing untold damage.

mar 24

bought the taake ticket. not tickets because i am going solo hahahaha. really dont have anyone i would like to go with. none of muh acquaintances would be remotely interested in spending 20 bucks to see a show they are not interested in. its really amazing all people dont go to Shows Solo. that they can find other people interested and who have the time available. even if i still associated with That Woman, i couldnt get her to go to this, and if i did, she would probably dump me for a tougher guy at the show, or hoest himself hahahaha.

well ya know i could very probably find some MJ among the metal people in the crowd or parking lot.

sweet might be able to buy 10 dollars of MJ in 2 months from now hahaha

ok adding to muh spreadhseet of BIG DATA ANALYTICS re sleep times. i have been marking when i go to BED, then best estimating when i actually FALL ASLEEP (ABOUT 45 minutes after I get into bed). it would only make SENSE to then mark when I wake up, and then use that to calculate an  average of how much sleep i am actually getting.

so i have started simply adding the wake up time, which on job days is 5 am. very consistent. on nonwork days it is maybe about 9:30 am.  so how does THAT affect the AVERAGE in other words? it looks like muh average now is 8.5 hours of sleep. i knew 7 wasnt enough. on Work Nights i am averaging about 7.5 hours. and then getting 10 to 11 hours on non work nights. so what does it all average out to??? probably about 8.5 to 9 hours. but a few more weeks of Big Data Analytics will help me get a better number. I always needed and sought out a lot of sleep. absolutely more than 8 hours.

dont know who is playing with taake. in UK he played with fen, who i have been meaning to check out, and with winterfylleth on the london show, who are very awesome and i would love if they did a us tour. been liking the UK Atmoblack in 2017 hahahaha. and Fen is right in that scene but havent listened to them. never heard anyone say anything bad about them. they are on muh list when i get bored with winterfylleth which will take a while hahaha. esp since i dont listen to music all the time like i did when i was young. have more important things to concern myself with. music is inherently decadent and soft ahahaha.  real people have to WORK to SURVIVE. you think the great men of history sat around and listened to music for hours each day? they maybe listened to a MINUTE of WAGNER and then went out and conquered the world. made white babies while listening to SKREWDRIVER. listening to music for HOURS every DAY is DEGENERATE and probably means you sm0ke MJ for HOURS every DAY as well.

the only thing you should be doing for HOURS EVERY DAY is WORKING HARD and WINNING.

also WORKING OUT and pumping iron would be acceptable. and spending time with your CHILDREN, helping them to become winners like you.

day off. went to grocery store. got gas. doing 2 loads of laundry. drinking coffee. playing cards. slept 10 hours and 20 minutes last night after taking 2 valiums and 2 benedryl incl 1 benedryl RIGHT before bed.

men and women can SOMETIMES be just friends….but also BE WARNED, that if your female just friend is at ALL YOUNG and ATTRACTIVE, be WARNED that one day just friends could turn into Unrequited Luv at the drop of a hat, and one day you will wake up with it dumped on you like a ton of bricks. prepare for the worst. and tell her that too. listen baby, im not in love with you NOW, but tomorrow i could wake up and be in total luv with you. yeah i know its stupid as fook. just prepare for the worst and i will let you know WHEN it happens so we can end this shit as painlessly as possible, or even better, you could actually try dating me hahahahaha. im better than a negro or an opioid addict. i have very good intentions and i mean you no harm hahahaha. i am just soft and lazy and boring and short hahaha. ive lost a lot of weight though and i luv children! hwyte children! im just terrible at being tough, persuading, leading, selling, making money, being successful, being a man!

there have ALWAYS been pickup artists and seduction gurus and there always will be, because there are two types of men in this world: those that struggle greatly to get any woman and are huge failures with women always, and those that don’t struggle that much and are basically Normies who get GF’s and wives and married and children etc.

guys who can get a gf and guys who cant. guys who know how to Be Around women, and guys who Don’t, and i wonder if those who Dont are simply hopeless, and this is a sign telling them they shouldnt breed. and this is where pickup artists and seduction community and theredpill and Game comes from. these HOPELESS CASES desperately trying to learn. but i dont think it CAN be learned. just accept you were born without What It Takes to Pull Women, and you will never pull women. ever. you were born that way and it cant be changed. the end. dont look at porn because its degenerate. you still can go to hookers, or try to do casual rels with trainwreck sluts on tinder or okcupid. just work on your career and try to make money. start your own business. support your race in ways other than having children of your own. start your own successful business and hire nothing but hwite men who really need a good break in their lives.  give money to weev and anglin hahahaha. dont glorify banging sluts but you could prob still do it privately. maybe be a foster parent to hwite kids only. dont be captain save a ho. don’t save hos, save CHILDREN.

heres whats apparent, when you average our all my sleep, i get an avg of over 8 hours a night. people need 7 to 9 hours. looks like i need closer to 9 hours. NO SURPRISE THERE, i just like seeing the Big Data Science Analytic Empirical Evidence bear that out. had a bit of a 30 minute powernap this afternoon which brought up muh average to about 8:37.

DONT SAVE A HO, SAVE CHILDREN.

Hoes cannot be saved, children sometimes can.

DONT BE A WHITE KNIGHT FOR SOME SLUT, BE A WHITE KNIGHT FOR SOME CHILDREN.

It’s not bad to be a white knight. its a very noble, natural hwite thing to do. it sucks that its got a negative connotation. but for the good reason that unrepentant sluts take advantage of it. so dont use it on them. use it on someone who will actually benefit, and one day be thankful for it: children. not your own of course because you will never have children of your own because that is too much for you to handle and you would be a horrible father hahahahahaha.

no those are negative thoughts. but what if they’re true? i think we concluded that its better to not even think TRUE negative thoughts. maybe if you are a normie, yes then you can handle it. but when you are a weirdo who has ruined your own life with constant negative thoughts, it’s best to not even think realistic, true negative thoughts. ITS BETTER TO DELUDE YOURSELF!!!!!!! literally! honestly! tbhfam!!

8 and a half mfin hours of sleep a night is my average hahaha. and i am not even super active!

this varies between 7 and 11 hours hahahaha depending if i have to get up early or not.

anyway i recommend doing this just to Get To Know your own body better. and especially if like most people, you “catch up” on sleep on your Days off. but you really shouldnt because sleeping in is for lazy losers who will never make something of themselves ahahahaha.

DONT SAVE A HO, SAVE A CHILD.

YOU CANT SAVE A HO. YOU CAN SAVE A CHILD.

hehehehehe. how do you like my nietzschean axioms. aphorisms.

ho = wh0re = slut = skank = thot = n>4 at age 24.

oh well. WHO AM I TO JUDGE. what the hell have i done with MY life. wasted it. just as bad as these THOTS. like them i have no dignity. at least they got some secsual satisfaction out of life hahahaha fooking negros and opioid poppers. tough guys in the trailer park. its not gay for them because straight women love getting pounded by tough guy dick. its as much fun for them as it is for men to pound an attractive woman. well maybe a little less because they get it so often so its not as “expensive” and SCARCE. but they still enjoy it and have more stimulation in the clitoris region and such. nerve endings etc. for men to experience that much pleasure they need to bang an 18 year old 8/10 or above hahahaha or pop some opioids.

i wonder if taake pops opioids since he’s just been rehashing his work post 2005 when he was….28 years old.  and his best work he did between the ages of 22 and 28 hehehehe. and now that he is 39 he is just gonna drink and opioid himself to death and do boring rehashes of his first 3 albums but never reach that level of inspiration hahahahaha. and be very hateful and hate everything and everyone hahahahaha. hey man what are you so hateful about. youve written 3 great albums, you’re a handsome norwegian man, you’re not fat, youve probably pulled some qt gurls, you get nocturno culto and attila to do guest vocals on your albums hahahaha.

wait he did a cover of a CURE song? now that is compelling! that was on an EP semi recently. after his banjo album. he used a banjo on one song and its all anyone can talk about.

anyway. im not the biggest taake fan but this will probably make me a bigger taake fan. i wish it were a band i was more into at the moment, like winterfylleth or saor or iron maiden or…..mgla is awesome and i would totally see them, they did a US tour but no show in the area. if i were a real fan i would have traveled like serious fans do. drive 500 miles to go to a SHOW is what REAL fans do. so im not a real fan. OH WELL. i dont like metal CROWDS anyway. fookin stupid degenerates who are pissing away their whiteness on being drunken and st0ned idiots who care more about degen music than by being winners in life. reminds me of myself. except i was never as TOUGH as the avg metal guy which was at least enough to get them laid with dirty sluts once in a while.  and to not be MEEK and WEAK and anxious, but to be TOUGH and MANLY.

MEEK. TIMID. DONT BE THESE THINGS. BE TOUGH.

yeah i was always MEEK and TIMID. ever since i was a young child. i didnt think it would be such a bad thing. im butthurt it WAS  SUCH a bad thing, since there are people who are even more meek and timid who didnt do as bad at life. i just took an all in gamble at some point without really knowing it, and lost it all hahahaha.

 

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MUH NOTSEE

mar 15

was listening to educators with masters degrees saying that now they are telling kids who want to become educators, dont get your masters degree immed after bachelors, wait until you get a FT job first, then get your masters degree later, i got a masters degree and it closed a lot of doors because everyone said i was overqualified, so i had to set my sights even lower, to part time jobs with no health care.

and i nodded my head and said yaaaasssss youve gotta be really careful with those masters degrees nowadays, its not a ticket to success like it once was, you gotta be really careful what its in, i mean if its engineering, fine. but education? its a bigass gamble man. so many people subbing for 10 years or more. subs, temps, adjuncts, part time. all part time, no health care, making less than 30k a year, how are you gonna raise a family on that, you CANT, you cant even not be a NEET on that.

i try to be nice and friendly but i am not a good conversationalist because i have no INTEREST in anything that you can really TALK about hehehehe. its always hwyte stuff, 1433, AH, why masters degrees are scam, why everything is a scam, how women are horrible sluts who are horrible at relships, how much does so and so MAKE, education is a jooish scam, everything is a jooish scam and i have failed at everything, etc. not the greatest topics.

ok ok ok stream of negative thoughts incoming hahaha

but yeah if anything i should be like i agree with you and empathize with you and sympathize with you, getting a masters degree is a scam if you are just gonna have 5 part time jobs and no health care.

really i wish i could just go back in time and tell my self, major in stem or gtfo of college. NOW. because your whole life will be literally ruined if you dont. you will be a 35 year old neet virgin making 11k a year. or, get out of college now and do some apprentice work as an electrician or machinist. work in a machine shop. join the fookin chair force. god all mighty. you want to be able to have hwyte children some day.

dont hate women for being race traitors. you cant be a traitor if you were never loyal to begin with. it’s not womens NATURAL ROLE to be loyal to their race. they are only loyal to STRENGTH and POWER, no matter the race.  so be a strong and powerful hwyte man to pull a hwyte woman.

well, i guess it is ok to sneer at women who have mudsharked.

FOOK YES IT IS!

but also don’t get too mad just because some white chick says that idris elba is hawt. if she’s never ACTUALLY fooked a black guy, THATS THE BEST YOU CAN GET.

have YOU ever had a gurl you liked reject you in favor of a black guy? didnt think so. then you might be more rustled about such things. when it does happen, you WILL BE RUSTLED.

i cant really blame the black guys. they have a hwyte gurl throwing themselves at them. i totally blame the women. women are the choosers. dont choose black men.

so yeah you ARE entitled to get a little butthurt when hwyte women choose black men!

i guess i’m saying dont expect the women to outwardly declare that they would never fook a black guy. THAT is too much to expect. they will ALWAYS be OPEN to the idea. for them its not race treason. women just dont care about race. that’s not their job, that’s the MAN’S job. all the more reason to get married YOUNG and get hwyte babies in them YOUNG. i think you can actually hold a Mother to higher standards. to actually CARE about right and wrong, and loyalty and even to care about RACE.

anna rosenberg, asst sec of defense, very anti joe mccarthy. marshall plan. globalist jooish un related shekels for zog hahaha.

http://bbs.dailystormer.com/t/profit-from-pain-who-s-behind-america-s-opiate-epidemic/54173

http://archive.is/0IeDK

wow great article, very well researched, who the hell is this author. send ds some money. get this eric striker on a podcast. and here i am taking valium aka “mommy’s little helper” which was like the hillbilly heron of the 50s, and turned into a niche, rarely prescribed drug, into a best selling hugely presecribed drug, by the joo sackler, who i had never heard of.

http://bit.ly/2m1R012

another daily stormer thread on WEEEEEED which i am just posting shortlink and archive of because it has the n word right in the URL hahahaha

http://bbs.dailystormer.com/t/leftist-women-join-alt-right-in-laughing-at-cuckbois/91427/3

feminist marxist wimmin appropriate term invented by rightists to mock and scorn leftist wimpy men

dutch election, looks like “right wing nationalist” wilders is gonna lose, some say hes a zionist and joo lover but he is the most anti mudslim candidate and i am sure the jooish media hates him. sooooo…..do joos really luv him? and why does he like them if they hate him? does he really like them? are they paying him? is he a SHILL? i dunno! i would just say he should win because hes the most blatantly right wing candidate. all the media calls him a populist nationalist. now we hwyte nationalists mock and scorn “CIVIC nationalists” but really its probably a big step in the right direction.  when mudslims are pouring in any kind of end to immigration is a good thing.

oh students dont have the technical skills OR the people skills so we cant hire them sorry.

i do think people skills can be taught, i just dont believe skools are teaching them. i also believe people skills are YUGELY important, probably moreso than technical skills. because you always gotta SELL JOOISH BULLSHIT to people and SCAM them. no matter WHAT youre doing. you gotta find some way to JOO them.

or, at best, to manage your boss’s expectations so he doesnt push you to do more with less ie start cutting corners and jooing people. because i dont think you should have to joo people to make an honest living.

yeah yeah yeah profit is not a dirty word, but i dont like this obsession with GROWTH, it stinks of joo. growth is greedy, greed is pure jooishness. but you have to grow to keep up with everything else thats growing. or else you wont be sustainable goy.

saw a qt white gurl yesterday, very young, like 20 years old. she was tech too skinny but ultimately that would not be a dealbreaker. she was young and hwyte.

i never want to joo people or bullshit them. i want to do my best to be fair to them unless its clear theyre not being fair to me. if the customer is trying to joo me, well then all bets are off. i say your money is not welcome here, JOO. but i dont want my boss telling me, get rid of this good faith person for me, we cant help them. they are a waste of money.

sometime people ARE a waste of money AND are in good faith. then IMHO the person “firing” the customer should be a manager or above who has been there 1 year at least. not some fookin new guy that sounds incompetent in everything he does.

imho even autist neets can learn people skills if you train them the right way.  and imho the best way to teach them is to put them in the real world situation with “training wheels”, ie a person who can jump in and save them. then slowly wean them off this person. very simple.

apparently the “learning styles” theory of learning is not “backed up by science.” like when somebody says they are a visual learner or something, thats all jooish lies. i dont know what to think about this. because i sometimes feel like i am a visual learner and need to see pictures and maps and videos. pref while doing something with an experienced trainer.  saying read this and do what it says, i hate that shit.

also get people used to the expectation of Doing Homework For Work. that if you are working 40 hours, and you will probably be working more, that you need to spend MORE time outside of work, at HOME, studying and preparing and reading emails and reference materials and documentations and shit. if you work 40 hours a week you should be studying 10. if you work 50 hours a week you should be studying 12 hahahaha. this makes your working hours look more efficient and productive so your boss doesnt fire you for being a slacker.

ths is on top of coming in 30 mins early every day and leaving at least 15 minutes late.

they need to drill this into peoples heads, if this is what it takes to be a winner at life and make 28k a year and have a wife and children.

you have to be TOUGH. if you are not marine corps TOUGH you will get EATEN ALIVE.

but yeah imho training wheels works at just about anything: riding a bike, getting people skills, becoming TOUGH, having tough conversations, banging bitches, anything and everything. training wheels. and in many cases this is gonna be another person. paying a damn expert to be your training wheels. theoretically this is what teachers are supposed to do hahahaha.

i cant drink at all because i cant drink in moderation, i always overdo it. i cant do MJ at all because i cant do it in moderation, i always overdo it. i cant ever be with a woman, because i cant do it in moderation, i always overdo it.

being TOUGH is the essence of being masculine. just as important as confidence is toughness. its real hard to be confident unless you are TOUGH.

increase your TOUGHNESS by any way you can thats not jooish. LIFTING never hurts. i need to LIFT MOAR. that is, do i even lift bro. no but i know i should.

QUOTE CHAP 12: But then I began to reflect that the ultimate smear of the J00s was always, “You’re a Nazi!” And I wondered what it would be like to answer, “You’re damned right we’re Nazis, and we shall shortly stuff you J00-traitors into the gas chamber! ”

http://bbs.dailystormer.com/t/thoughts-on-men-going-their-own-way-mgtow/89154

muh weekend has begun. trying not to write too much negative stuff haha. s just not wrting much at all. took 1 benedryl and 2 valium and will take 1 more benedryl then go to bed around 10pm.

hory sheet

its this kind of thing that has turned me into a degenerate gambler hahahahahahahaha

have gotten like 2 quads in the past week or so.

http://bbs.dailystormer.com/t/female-promiscuity-over-time/58222

a full 50% of women have had at LEAST four premarital partners. with 18% having AT LEAST TEN. almost one out of five women have had AT LEAST TEN.

might as well copy the Infographic here:

i might have already. so what, this is worth printing out and putting on your bedroom wall like an iron maiden or AH poster hahahaaha.

http://bbs.dailystormer.com/t/mate-selection/57917

mar 17

st pattys day, where normies without drinking problems get raging drunk. prime time to bang young qts who dont have drinking problems and arent all old and haggard and dont get raging drunk every day so they might be more willing to give weak omega cuckboi losers a chance with a young normie qt hahahaha.

on muh day off i like to do Errands and such rather than immediately start neckbearding. so went to the store, bought stuff for fam, then immediately started doing laundry when coming home because that is something responsible people do rather than be lazy and make only 11k a year and work 1 hour a week and be a jooish moocher and the worlds biggest underachiever hahaha. ok see thats a negative thought train, got to stop that.

well i have the laundry in and am drinking Bulletproof coffee and got a new large ceramic mug to heat up large 20 oz mugs of bulletproof coffee.

https://media.zencast.fm/the-fatherland/episodes/72

new fatherland, dealing with your waifu’s “N” aka Sexual Past, in late hour 2. CHECK IT OUT.

havent listened, dont know what they say. hopefully they say something like: dont worry about it IF it isnt full of red flags. some unforgivable shit includes: being n over 10, n over 8, n over 6, ever been with a black, ever had a One Night Stand, over had FWB, ever had Casual Sex, ever had an abortion. this will rule out 99.999999999999999999999999999999999999999% of women hahahaha, so you will never have children and your white genes will die out. genetic dead end.

go get rich and have babies with white trash, then take full custody of them from the irresponsible mother hehehe. and use your millions to raise them right and to hire a mother for them. pay a education student 30 k a year and tell them how you want the kids taught hehehehehe. hows that for larping. if they start teaching nonwhite bullshit, YOUR FIRED. they might be a marxist from teachers college, but say, you teach that marxist antiwhite shit, YOUR FIRED. this is a traditional private homeschool. essentially start your own private school with one teacher for your children while you are away from your children with your jooish boss 90 hours a week hahahaha. no ideally youd run your own business and make at least 100 k a year and live in the country and be teaching right along the teacher as much as you could. again get a young 21 year old gurl right out of college and pay them at a competitive wage with what they would get Subbing, which is what all teachers start out doing, making 14 fooking dollars an hour, no health care. LITERALLY. that is what you go to college for and get 50k in debt for, out of a genuine, admirable desire to Help Children. i believe this is what most teachers want to do. good for them. thats what they SHOULD want to do.  i DO have genuine respect for teachers. Educators. and it is a JOOISH ABOMINATION how the education profession has been thoroughly, horribly perverted and jooed. god damn. i mean i’m not opposed to Changing Careers just to  become an Unjooed, Antijooing Teacher. but how do you do that when all the teachers training is jooed as fook?

maybe go to brigham young or something?

a jesuit kollige? loyola? gonzaga? there are many more hehehe. notre dame?

but jesuits are kinda jooed too.

but not as much as your average uni?

sent muh first dnation of 5 dollars to the krypto report with azzmador hahahaah pat muhself on back.

heh. i have roms of classic n64 games like mario kart, mario golf, and ocarina of time. these are great games i could be playing instead of complaining about being a loser hahaha.  you can get all these game roms and emulators online. if you cant figure out how to work them, you dont deserve to make 28k a year, have a gf, or have children. you have officially failed at all of life.

completed load of laundry, dryer, and fold and put away clothes. made another bulletproof coffee. 1:36 pm. drinking it out of new 20 oz ceramic mug. this is something you need. should have got this years ago. get a 20 oz ceramic mug. because 15 or 16 oz of coffee just isnt enough hahahaha. you can also make soup or noodles or shit in it. microwave friendly.

basically, get rich then HIRE a white woman to essentially be your children’s mother. but once  you are rich, you should be able to pull a woman who would be a good mother anyway, rather than being forced to make your children with hired women and or white trash. besides, white trash is a gamble because you will get worse genes. we are trying to be eugenic not dysgenic here hahahahaha. i have ok white genes, certainly about average, not white trash genes thank god, and i got a decent amount of intelligence, but i wasted it all. i was a bad seed and was not TOUGH either.

page 123 of 197: ”  I have found something my brother once told me to be extremely valuable to remember in situations like this: People are not usually bad. When they do ‘bad’ things, it is usually because they are afraid. They lash out wildly and foolishly like terrified cats, scratching and biting everybody in sight.  ”

not the first time anyone has given or gotten this advice, but always good to remember, and also applies to the thing with that woman. of course it goes without saying that GLR was not talking about joos hahaha. im surprised he didnt give that disclaimer tho.

raw milk. organic raw milk. i guess this is a superfood and i would be interested in trying it. raw milk is not pasteurized or homogenized. pasteurize takes out the bacteria and homogenize takes out gross chunks. i guess the bacteria and the gross chunks are good.

eggs are also a superfood hehehehe

OK HERES THE RULE:

Women are allowed one lover (ie secs partner) per every TWO YEARS starting at age 18. hence, here is the maximum for women of the following ages:

18 – 1

19 – 1

20 – 2

21 – 2

22 – 3

23 – 3

24 – 4

25 – 4

26 – 5

27 – 5

28 – 6

29 – 6

30 – 7

31 – 7

and i shouldnt have to go that far hahahaha.

this is the be all end all final verdict on this topic. if you are dating a 25 year old woman and she has been with 5 guys before you, dump the wh0re! not good mother of your children material!

and really a decent woman should get married by 25 at the oldest, so if you are dating women older than that, that doesn’t reflect well on them. youre 26 and not married? either you have been with way more than the maximum allowable 5 guys, and you are crazy or disloyal or incapable of a rel. even worse if you are 30. whats wrong with a WOMAN who cannot get married by THIRTY. you get to CHOOSE the best man! your CHOOSER is clearly FOOKED UP!!!!! NEXT!

MANY women have fooked up, faulty choosers. at LEAST half. having a good father will greatly improve their choosers. also the father will exert physical influence here, in the choosing. no you will not date/fook that guy. you are GROUNDED and i am guarding you with muh GUNZ.

i think my number scheme is perfectly fair. it allows women to start having Secs and lose their Purity at the young age of 18. it also allows them to get a moderate taste of the Carousel. Believe me I would like if a 25 year old had been with less than 4 guys, but we live in a jooed world, and therefore we must Manage Expectations and Lower Standards and Be Realistic.

 

SOME KIDS JUST DONT WANT TO LEARN

jan 23

sheeeeeit. got saor tshirt in mail today complete with handwriting by andy marshall on the mailing label hahahaha. i hope he wouldnt CUCK like winterfylleth did hahahahaha he probably would tho hahahahahahahahaha.

better hope i don’t send antifa to your home because you have pride in your country and your “HERITAGE”, ya NATIONALIST HAHAHAHA. no dont you worry lad, but there are some crazy people out there. good thing i am not crazy in that way.

of course im just being an asshole hehehe. isnt it good enough that the winterfylleth naughton guy takes a vocal stand against cultural marxist, and is anti-refugee, and declares his admiration for pat buchanan? pat buchanan is about as awesome as a normie can get. he would be a great president hahahaha. i cannot POSSIBLY talk shit about pat buchanan. he is one of the greats.

still not as outgoing and extraverted  on the job as i would like to be but oh well i am trying. im just not used to a positive working environment hehe. met another educator today who was another one of those true believers, and i mean this in the good way, as in a totally respectable person who is passionate and dedicated to the success of their students. now this person has taught in schools that would Redpill a normal person on race, but this person fought hard so that even poor black and brown students who come from families of murderers and felons and drug addicts, living out of cars, homeless, eventually become college grads and get good careers.

the type of person you wish all teachers were like.

so what is it? bad administrators? bad teachers? not enough good teachers like this?

she also talked about her own children who were doing very very very very very well in life. better at age 18 than i will ever do hehehe. in advanced math and science in high school, going to good universities, doing good stem degrees, good internships, getting 20 job offers before even graduating univ, hang out with good people who dont do drugs, are generally well adjusted hard workers without emotional problems or laziness, and will go on to make a lot of money and get a lot of respect. and the way she was describing it she wasnt BRAGGING….but its impossible to not be VERY proud of your kids when they are this successful.

but they also pay a lot of money to do this very highly regarded, very selective high school program. where all the kids become hugely successful.

and muh manager who i also have a lot of respect for, he has children which he has entrusted to the public school system, which i thought was kind of mediocre. but as it turns out, there is an elite track in this school district, with a STEM high school, where all the kids at that school become successful. of course he is trying to get his kids in there. i looked at the schools website and 95% of the kids seem hwyte hehehehe. NICE. i figured they would be 50% brown because there are tons of indians and arabs in the area who i assume would be VERY interested in having their kids grow up to become successful, rich doctors and engineers. remove wirus on your computer hehehehe.

something like 600 applicants, about 90 kids get in.

SO YOURE SAYING ITS EASIER that getting a 25k a year job with benefits hehehehe.

i can’t blame them for talking about their successful, promising kids. but i feel envious because i can’t compare with that. i used to be promising too, but peaked at age 17-18, then crashed as soon as i went to uni.

the difference is that i did not go to a hardcore STEM high school. i went to a well-regarded private high school, but i did not consider myself ENGAGED at all as teachers would put it. I resented all the homework, i thought school was STUPID, i just wanted to do what i needed to do, so i could play vidya or internet or stupid music or, very regrettably, Party with MJ and alcohol. at the time, i resented the school, thought it was lame. maybe i would have felt the same way at a special STEM high school.

or i would try to romance the qt geeky STEM gurls and get rejected and go crazy like i did anyway hahahaha.

but yeah at the time i didnt even know our school district HAD a school like that. looking at the generally mediocre school district, i wouldnt have thought it. i didnt even know the district HAD this school until a few years ago. shit probably the school didnt even EXIST when i was in high school 6000000000 years ago.

well, wikipedia says yes it did exist. damn. looks like i missed out!

i didnt like STEM though. I never really did. I guess I sorta liked shit like english and history, but i didn’t like the AP versions of those, too much work I thought. All the AP classes. I really didn’t like The Whole AP system. Although doing AP classes def helped me get into a good uni. not that THAT did me any good!

and then i hear stories of poor blacks living in cars, dont have clothes and shoes, taking care of their sister who is a heroin addict, father is in prison, mother is on disability and addicted to pain pills, and then they go to local college, do well, and get a good job.

meanwhile i was set up and nurtured for success, but became a huge failure. which makes me think this stuff is either born in you or its not. and i was just a bad seed.

and these talented tenth black kids, well theyre outliers, and that was born into them too. because if they went according to nurture, theyd be deadbeats and failures like their families. and all it took was one great teacher to jumpstart them to success.

i had a good family! i had decent teachers! i did very in high school despite not liking it and got into a good college. that was my peak. i didnt like college either, and did mediocre, and since then, have been less than mediocre my whole adult life.

would going to a stem high school have saved me?

i think it COULD have…..but thats still far from a sure thing. 50/50 it would have saved me.

what didnt i like about high school? that it gave too much homework and that I didnt know any gurls.

but that gurl part is ON ME! it was up to me to meet those gurls and practice The Art Of Seduction!

i had an added challenge because there weren’t any gurls at the school, but that didnt stop the majority of lads who went there from growing up well adjusted and successful! besides, its proven that Separated the Sexes leads to Better Education, because gurls are too distracting for young lads!

but i was ALL BUTTHURT about it.

also i didnt start showing any serious warning signs till i was in college. well i did have some yellow lights in high school. like i was already drinking and using MJ in high school. but it only became a bigger problem in college.

i had a weird friends group. they occasionally used alcohol or MJ, but they were good people. they weren’t huge douchebags or bullies. i dont necess think i was hanging out with the wrong crowd. maybe it wasnt the BEST crowd, because i wasn’t hanging out with the huge winner DORKS and NERDS who didnt do alcohol or MJ, who later all became successful engineers or accountants or lawyers or businessmen hehehe.

i cant say i was hanging out with the wrong crowd, because i cant crap on these people. they are good people. unfort they have a 50/50 track record for being successful in life. i had like 2 good friends, one became a sad pathetic loser, despite still being a good person, and the other became a decent, well-rounded winner normie, albeit not thru college.

so WHY do i always want to smoke MJ? whats the ROOT of my DESIRE? Its not that i want to do it MODERATELY, i want to do it ALL THE TIME. if i had some, i would be doing it EVERY DAY, not on weekends only like moderate people.

so the big question is, why do i want to get INTOXICATED on MJ EVERY DAY????????

that is the question.

and if im honest, that IS what I want! I KNOW moderation is the better, smarter, wiser choice, and what I SHOULD choose….but i dont want it! I want excess! but WHY?

because i want some sense of escape and relief from being a huge loser in life who had a LOT of potential at 17, but threw it all away to become a huge loser for the next 15+ years hahahahaha.

but i hear these people talking about their 10 year old, 13 year old, 15, 16, 18, 20, 21 year old children, and I can’t help but think, what if I had been one of these children? and then feel envious.

part of the problem was i did think i HAD a problem with MJ or alcohol, and i was very good at HIDING it from muh fam, and I ABSOLUTELY was not going to go to them for help, even though they were MORE than willing. it would take until I was like 25, 26 years old before I even STARTED Seeking Help.

I mean I’m glad I did, but I essentially LOST the years 18-26 and I am very very butthurt about that! those are some really bad years to lose!

the following years have been better….but they havent been a LOT better. all my progress has been VERY slow, with some bigass setbacks in there too (see 2015 and 2016 hehehe.) and in a way the past 3 years have been especially bad. they are getting better now and i’m thankful for that, i guess its still gonna take a few months for that really to sink in.

this one kid goes to YEAR ROUND elementary school. how good of a thing is this? at the time i would have HATED it. i wonder if it would have been good for me though. kept me out of trouble.

but even though my friends did some of the stuff the “bad kids” did, they really werent bad kids tho. the main problem was my horrible, shitty attitude, and believe me, i had that ever since elementary school!!!!!!

shit yeah education is interesting and important. maybe i would have been a good teacher hahahahahaha. too bad i cant teach or explain shit. or help people become winners when i am a huge loser hahahaha.

education is important but i always hated SCHOOL. its ALWAYS been like PULLING TEETH. elementary, high school, AND college. all of it. and grad skool seems the same way.

they have year round elementary but not year round middle or high schools. why not? i would think middle and high school is where it woul be even MORE important, cuz thats when kids really start to get off the tracks.

https://www.care.com/c/stories/3283/the-pros-and-cons-of-year-round-school/

HMM they STILL have the same amount of school days, like 180. sheeeeeeeeit. I thought they would get way more, and essentially be like 2 grades ahead, which would be AWESOME.

some kids JUST DONT WANT TO LEARN hehehehe. i was one of those kids hahahaha.

but thats kinda WRONG. I did want to learn, but i didnt want stupid hours of homework, and i wanted to learn more about…..shit i dont even know. something different than what i WAS learning. maybe learn about how to seduce women, how to be charismatic, how to negotiate, how to have great people skills, the art of the deal, learning obviously useful workplace skills. that i would have liked. maybe a class on movies. shit i liked movies back then. degenerate shit but maybe i could have learned about less degenerate movies.

like pulp fiction was the big edgy movie back then. i was like oh this has got to be the best movie of all time. i was butthurt because i wasnt allowed to see it.

it actually was a pretty good movie, but ALSO very degenerate, and tarantino needs to go in the oven NOW. that was his best movie and it just wasnt worth his whole shitty career.  plus i was too young to ward off the degeneracy in that movie anyway.

shit when i was young, i LOVED DEGENERACY. literally. blood, gore, violence, pornography, vulgarity, marilyn manson, 3edgy5me, i was such a stereotypical teen! anything that was BAD or EVIL , i LIKED!!!!!

I LIKED DEGENERACY inherently! i sought out the degenerate! I loved it! i honestly dont know HOW i became so degenerate by age 16! i had a good family!!!!!!!

again, thoughts of being a BAD SEED.

i was rebelling against muh good family and muh christian upbringing……but did i have to rebel SO GODDAM MUCH?!?!?!?!?! I wish I hadnt! why couldnt I just have rebelled a LITTLE?!?!?!?!?!

there was no reason for me to rebel THAT MUCH!!!!! breaking my poor familys HEART!!!!! i mean i very well could have been POSSESSED.

well i am paying it back now. shit i’ve been a loser longer than i’ve been a winner. well, part of the time i was a winner, i was a degenerate. i guess its only fair that i should suffer being a loser, while i’m also fighting against degeneracy.

but it would be soooo nice to be a nondegenerate winner!

well i am a bigger winner than i have been in 1.5 years at least hehehe. in a way i am a bigger winner than when i was working my previous job, cuz there i was going crazy. soul killing job and a soul killing situation with woman. now i have really a soul-growing job, and no shitty situation with any woman.

and then i criticize myself for not taking advantage ENOUGH of my grateful, soul-feeding job. im not being charismatic enough with the WONDERFUL people.

well i just get there early, leave a little late, and just try to be friendly and pleasant. thats honestly the best i can do.

and it bears repeating for the 60000000000000th time, that if you study Education in Uni or esp Graduate Skool…..its pozzed and marxist as FOOK. it is pure jooish communism. like SOCIOLOGY. which is a big thing that turns me off of studying education.

if you get a room full of education experts, you will not find any 1433 types hehehe. you probably wont even find any damn CENTRISTS.

jan 24

fooking academics who spell their name with no capital letters, like bell hooks. they are always a phd with strong interests in feminism. even moreso than the average phd!!!!

just found a teacher who is my age, and had a useless degree from a good shool, but immediately got a masters degree in the same useless field within 2 years of the undergrad, and then 8 years after that, completed the phd hehehehe. i could have been a phd for several years by now. that feel when you are that age hahahaha.

well i mean theoretically you could complete a phd by age 25. more like 27 though.

anyway i havent actually met her yet, maybe never will. i just looked her up because she looked young and attractive in her profile pic. welp she’s not THAT young, she’s MY age but she still looks very attractive. in a tiny pic no less. a Hawt Gurl doing a humanities PHD. kind of surprising. looks like she should be in a Sorostitutority instead, hehehehe.

took benedryl at 3pm, try to go to bed at 730 pm. it is 7pm and i am already sleepy.

doing ok on muh dieting hehehe but damn i can get to the 1500 cals SO EASILY hehehehe. doing way worse that i was this time last year. well i lost 35 pounds since then tho. so good for me haha.

jan 25

beavis and butthead. weve forgotten about them but in the 90s they were YUGE. and degenerate that I was, I thought they were awesome. i wasnt mature enough to understand the joke, the parody mike judge was doing.

also, i argue that MJ basically turns you INTO beavis and butthead. so dont do MJ, because these are the biggest idiot degenerates and its a shame that they are hwyte. damn. and its SAD there is hwyte trash who is actually like this. its sad that i thought it was COOL. its literally the least cool thing ever. its degenerate and disgusting.

of course ive known about jim goad for many years but never really read him or listened to him, but he is a pretty good speaker. i know he did some degenerate shit though. i wouldnt kick him out of muh group though. unless he was married to a nonwhite hahaha. i think he is bisexual hahaha. i wouldnt want to be married to him but he does a good conversation hahaha.

oh shit hes friends with gavin mcinnes, cant like him anymore hahahaha.

i guess cantwell is getting more racial hehehehe. he is not scared to talk about bl4x and jooz, bad news hehehehe. i just came for the weev hehehehe.  they are both talkative and play well off each other but if you added more people in there it would be too much. so just the two of them works very well.  gets into the JQ around 31 minutes.

i dunno, i think chris might be coming around! i subscribed to him again hahahaha. yeah i know he has a nonwhite gurlfran. but he was open about that. he prob wont marry her hahahaha.

 

 

WE’RE GONNA NEED A BIGGER OVEN

dec 6 2017

i met and talked to a solid, 100%, no doubt about it J today. No doubt about it. He walked in and immediately I saw the Kippah on his head and had to do a double take. almost got a double boner. are you fooking KIDDING me? i havent seen a J in YEARS, except for this guy who sailed past me riding a bike on the walk/bike trail last winter, who had a beard and little jewish strings dangling from his clothes.

but here was an actual living breathing J with a Kippa coming in as a customer! wow thats exciting. Also he had a very J name. he went by a “nickname” that sounded kinda goyish, and i was thinking, hmm that name doesnt sound very J’ish, then i looked him up in the system when he left and saw that his actual first name was pretty J’ish and unamerican hahahahaha.

but he was nice and friendly and great Verbal Intelligence. Polite and Nice and Friendly and not an asshole or a degenerate. And then I thought, do I want to put this NICE OLD MAN INTO AN OVEN?????

of course not, I don’t want to put this nice old man into a damn OVEN.

BUT i dont know him personally. maybe he beats his wife and molests children at the JCC. but he was meeting with two GOYIM, myself and my Senior SME hahaha, and he was clearly not treating him like CATTLE, or me for that matter. like he clearly trusted the opinion and smarts and judgment of my colleague, who is indeed very smart and capable and professional, and you SHOULD trust him.

we were basically helping the J’ish man with his laptop which seemed to be a cheap old thing, and he was not very computer savvy, although he has at least a masters degree in MATH. only smart people do MATH. also he wasnt super autistic or awkward. he had good social skills in other words. better than me hahahahaha.

so there is a photo of little J kids on the computer, he mentions he has 10+ grandchildren, and my first thought was not, oh shit, he’s MULTIPLIYING and WE’RE GONNA NEED A BIGGER OVEN, but oh, isnt that nice, he has a nice large family. be fruitful and multply.

the most jooish thing about his personality was that i could see him potentially being Pushy and Demanding and Difficult. But he was nice to us.

but yeah he LOOKED pretty J’ish, with beady little eyes and a Kippa and a beard. I honestly didn’t study his nose too closely. i guess it wasnt a huge jooish hooknose.  nose was about average i guess.

so if he’s wearing a Yarmulke, that means he’s an orthodox joo? so he’s RELIGIOUS. i mean better than being super Crypto. just come right out be like I am totally a Joo, and a religious joo at that. i think i prefer that to the alternative!

but because he was nice to me, i didnt want him to look at me and somehow detect that I am a YUGE anti-J hahahahaha and wanted to put him in an oven, that his people is my LEAST favorite race by far.

but i had no hatred or even dislike for him as an individual. in fact he seemed downright LIKABLE.

see this is what they call the Good J. of COURSE J’s here and there can be GOOD. Good People. but as a WHOLE, they’ve done more harm than good. if they were all like THIS guy, that would be great.

so i had to mention that, because i can’t remember the last time i Experienced an actual live J. I might have talked to a J on the phone in my previous job. maybe. I took like 2000 phone calls there, i’m sure i did.

so yeah. what do his children do? certainly all doctors and lawyers and engineers and successful rich J’s. they probably make more money than him because he chose to go into teaching. so that takes a pretty selfless kind decent person right? well except for the administrators and school board people hahahahaha.  and old school full time tenured union teachers hahaha.

i basically meet very interesting people every day. i really am quite blessed. but yeah i dont know how to MAKE THE MOST out of this.  and I’m nowhere near as interesting as these people.

another guy, white guy for sure hahahaha, came in today. he was full of 6000000000000000 stories and jokes and anecdotes and he was actually pretty funny and colorful, but yeah he was a talker. he had a damn Ed.S. degree too and possibly even a PhD. he talked about College Rivalries. I of course did not mention that my college frowned upon his college, because what the hell did i do with my life? he went on to build an interesting career, get a million degrees, have 3 kids, and now his daughter was going to the same pretty good uni he did, doing a Smart STEM degree and getting a scholarship to study abroad in a good STEM country, at 19/20 years of age. doing everything right in other words.

he himself, not sure what his undergrad degree was, but POSSIBLY computer science. not bad. he talked about how he had a decent internship that kept him busy. this was in the early 80s. i didnt realize internships were a thing. sheeeeit he probably actually got PAID for it. then after he graduated he immediately stayed on an extra year and got a masters. not sure if that was the EdS or something else.

so he was highly educated but he did not work at some big company. he started his own company doing ummmm financialish services, nothing super high status though, and also doing a lot of teaching on the side.

point is, he kept busy working like 60 hours a week for the past 30 years hahahaha and still does.

he was definitely a colorful personality, not an autist, not awkward, certainly had plenty of self confidence. was able to get married, have 3 children, at least one of whom is gonna be super successful. so he did well with his legacy.

so i looked him up and found a damn self published BOOK he wrote and i am reading that in another tab right now. its actually pretty good and paints a more sympathetic picture of him as a more humble, thankful, and god-fearing man, while in person he was potentially abrasive and obnoxious and arrogant and overbearing. not to me though. i could not keep up with his bantz tho, it was fast and furious. hot and heavy. these 55 year olds have more energy than me.

but yeah i like reading about peoples lives because i am too awkward to ask them these things. but this is the type of guy who will tell you story after story of his life unsolicited.

and of course i am insecure about the fact that i personally dont have any stories to tell.

no interesting good stories i mean. i can tell you pathetic, cloying, desperate, sad, boring stories hahahahahaha. but nothing funny or interesting or neat. just boring and sad.

he comes across as much sweeter in the book, its actually quite touching. candidly discussing his own struggles with his weight and his marriage and him praying to GOD for help and strength when interviewing for jobs. like sheeeeeeit this guy has the same fears and insecurities i do. but he has persevered and accomplished shit, whereas i have not.

he did not seem too Godly in person but this comes across a LOT more in his book.

and its just kind of neat to meet a person who breezes in and out in a whirlwind of sometimes inappropriate stories and jokes, then find their BOOK on google and read about their deepest fears and hopes hahahahaha. i wish i could do it with more people!

ive sort of done it with myself…..except its ANONYMOUS whereas he puts his real name on it. thats how i FOUND it.

and this guy came from a working class background, very prob the first in his family to go to college, and he made a pretty good go of it. his book immediately gets into the value of Work and being a Productive Useful person and asking GOD for help and strength. its really quite good and will give me something to talk about with him if I see him again, which I may. i guess he could think its creepy that I read his BOOK. but he probably wont. he will probably cherish the chance to talk about himself more hahahahahahahaha.

i can totally appreciate meeting new people and hearing their STORIES. everyones got stories. even i’ve got stories. it’s not a great one but its a story!

basically my whole story is one of a long, painful, lazy, low-energy struggle to become a damn ADULT and stop being a lazy negro bitch child aka a spoiled neet loser omega virgin hahahaha.

well i read the whole preview. I could probably ask the guy to just send me a PDF of the whole book. he also has another book on teaching and another book which is the biography of it must be this coach he knows and is written pretty reverently. the guy is not a bad writer.

hehehe maybe i should go to the J guy and be like oh i am so humbled by what your people went through at the hands of my people, i am SO SORRY for The Sins Of The Past hahahahahahha, you have taught us SO MUCH about Tolerance and Forgiveness and The Human Condition.

and he would say, oh thank you for recognizing the struggles and tragedy of my people, you didnt do anything wrong, but we must be ever vigilant against racism and bigotry so something like ANUDDA SHOAH never happens again.

ORRRRRRR I could approach him and be like, hey schlomo, we’re having a sale on WAGNER hahahahahaha. WAGNER.  wink wink nudge nudge.

ORRRRRR i could be like, see this huge swastika on muh chest. you know what that means hymie. YOUR KIND IS NOT WELCOME HERE. NOT WELCOME.

or i could be like, listen schlomo, im on to you. im a bad goyim. the man that you fear. i know about boas. i know about…..kaganovich. and the holodomor. i know about the uss liberty. and jonathan pollard. 911 was an inside job. culture of critique is muh bible. i have a signed photograph kmac. and Uncle Adolf. I know the words to the horst wessel lied. I watch triumph of the will and chill every day. i am your worst nightmare bubbie. i know what you did to my lord and savior. i know what you write about him in your talmud. and the blessed virgin mary. youve been kicked out of 109 countries in the past 2000 years and you keep saying the problem isnt you. well i got news for you schlomo. its not us, its you. so you got a couple of good J’s like muh teacher buddy. well if more of you were like him, you wouldnt have to fook off back to your homeland. he will be on muh short list of J’s who are allowed to visit. not live. visit. so why am i so hateful? because you turned my men into phaggot negros and sissies, and muh women into negro whores, and muh country into a shitty sewer only the trvmpenfuhrer can save, thank GOD for him. and you killed christ, ya god damn christkillers. and you flooded murderous muslim savages into muh homeland. and you ruined education. you poison everything you put your hands on. its not even funny. everything is a disgusting perversion with you people. and you caused world war 1 and 2 and god knows what else with your goddamn rothschilds. and the federal reserve. and the media. good god. i cant even. i am literally shaking right now. hahahahahahaha.

education. so i guess vouchers and charter schools are bad, and public skools are good. that is what i am supposed to believe, as a Professional Educator. well really i believe that the current state of things for new teachers is horrible, and they should pay them more and hire more teachers rather than paying a 30 year old permanent sub 14 bucks an hour to babysit a room full of 40 screaming negros and then paying a RentACop 9 bucks an hour to physically restrain the physical ones, while paying 55 year old retirees a pension of 100k a year hahahaaha. hire some more young teachers. hire some moar rentacops. put half the students in Military 4 Kids. that would be a better use of Taxpayer Money. send juvenile delinquents to the military. give them gunz and tell them to protect the border. give them some cheating military slutz and a booze ration. sterilize the coloreds and give them 10 grand worth of purple drank in return.

heh. i could go for some purpa drank. assuming its just straight codeine hahahaha.

friday night. sleep in tomorrow. ideal day for some you know what. MJ. not even purpa drank. MJ would be just fine.

took me 2 minutes to find the home address of the J guy hahaha. not even TRYING folks. but he lives in a super J area of town where old skool J’s live or used to live before they moved further out to SuperBourge Upper Middle Class and lost their religion hahahaha. area with a lot of old school jooish senior housing, torah skools, yeshivas, yahudas, whatever. his daughter marrying a ultra orthodox joo from israel hehehehe.

all these names R’ Moishe Shekelstein. So I guess R’ means rabbi or rav? whats a “rav”? is this guy not only a succcessful education professional, but a RABBI as well? was i just face to face with a damn orthodox jooish RABBI today? I think i was hahahahahaha. can you believe it.

https://guardyoureyes.com/index.php

heh i am spending too much time on the jooish internet again. this site has resources to keep religious jooish men from looking at naughty sites and pictures. you can even get a “kosher phone.”

http://forward.com/news/358939/neo-nazis-set-date-for-armed-march-against-jews-in-montana/

heh. i was looking up this j00ish school, brought me to the infamous j00ish mag the forward, where the top article was on andrew anglins upcoming march in whitefish. AWESOME. THE ABSOLUTE MADMAN. I will give him ANOTHER 6.16 just for this hahahaha. WELL DONE LAD.

heh my new j00ish rabbi friend probably reads j00ish news like this and is probably only of the only people i could conceivably meet in real life who has therefore heard of richard spencer hahahahahaha. i should ask him if i see him again. hey ever heard of this goy spencer?

http://therightstuff.biz/2017/01/01/how-to-waifu/

oh dear god why dont i ever read the TRS regular site hehehehe

http://bbs.dailystormer.com/t/can-a-prostitute-ever-become-a-faithful-wife/74782

hehehehe

best 2 sites on the internet

jeezum crow. millennial woes possibly doxed. seventh son possibly doxed. this is INSANE. bulbasaur was definitely doxed. i thought i knew MW’s normie first name but i never told anyone of course. i saw seventh son’s sunglass wearing face once in a video that was quickly removed from youtube. but my god. give these good men your money.

https://www.salon.com/2015/12/22/white_men_must_be_stopped_the_very_future_of_the_planet_depends_on_it_partner/

most antiwhite article ever hehehe yes ive seen it before, its not new

well…….nothing official about MW so far. no names, no dox. wewlad. but rumor that he was approached by the lugenpress recently and may need to get out of UK. god damn. send him some money.

and PROBABLY seventh son will be all right.

but i have seen the official bulbasaur dox where they blatantly mention names and faces and towns. yeah but it doesnt PROVE its HIM.

but yeah major people getting doxed is a big deal. its tragic but it might Strengthen the movement. like if it fires people up to donate 14880000000000 dollars to MW and get 1488000000000 white men marching with him and throwing nonwhites out of the UK. it’s still not WORTH doing though. youre essentially MVRDERING a human being out of hostile aggression.

WHY CANT MORE WOMEN THINK SLVTTISHNESS IS AT LEAST A LITTLE BIT GROSS

jan 5 new current year

just getting ready for the day. 656 am. i could PROBABLY sleep in an extra 15 minutes. maybe i will eventually do that. but i like having this buffer of time to write a few sentences, check email, and, of course, go make explosive coffee water #2’s like i am about to do right now.

ok did that. i mean its really quick.

anyway yeah my main issue now, and i didnt really have this at the previous job because that job was so stressful and packed that we really never had a chance to talk about anything not job related, we were all just trying to survive day to day. but now that the pace is a little slower THANK GOD, i am pressuring myself to be more social and charismatic and normie.

i mean i will take this new problem ANY DAY over what I faced before. im not complaining haahahha. well i kind of am. but never forget, that in comparison, it is not even 1% as bad altogether. i get a 99% reduction in stress and panic and thats The End Of The Story.

spent like an hour responding to a Support Ticket today that in my previous job, would have been expected to knock out in 20, or better 10 minutes. it doesnt matter if you dont know the answer. find the answer and answer it within 10 minutes. I laboriously wrote an email like the sloth. included Too Much Information and Misinformation. and I probably didnt even need to do ANYTHING, because someone else would be in in the afternoon that knew a lot more about the topic. an SME. but i was determined to Do Something and Add Value and figure out how to use the ticket system better. So I took a shot at it and hopefully superiors say good for him to try this, rather than, oh shit what a stupid fookup, i wish we could fire him, but he’s in the union grrrrrr. he totally did this wrong. gave the person bad advice, poorly written, and used the program in more wrong ways than we could imagine hehehehe.

anyway i did ok i guess. give myself a little more crrrrredit hahaha. had a paltry two customers in today and tried to act like a nice normie to them. painfully awkward small talk. jeez. for a while, i used to be GOOD at this. at my previous job. after i talked to people ALL DARN DAY i got pretty good at small talk. wish the learning curve wasnt that rough. because i cant handle talking to people ALL DARN DAY….well, when its complicated complex shit. and what im doing now is nowhere near as complex. it can get complex, but there are SEVERAL SME’s with Masters Degrees just waiting to Yank the Case from me. Aint No Need to BEG like I did before!

the beotch in the comments is half good and half bad. she says that she is automatically suspicious of anyone who talks of a BEST friend who is opposite sexs,usu means you are in luv with them. i would tend to agree! i guess you can have normal acquaintance friends of the opposite secx, but once you upgrade them to BEST friends or really really really close top tier friends….you are at big risk of getting FEELINGS for them. because of the INTIMACY.

i hate how wimmin dont think SEX is INTIMATE. god damn fooking SAVAGES.

well at least got under in calories today.

would LUV some MJ hahahaha.

https://www.google.com/webhp?sourceid=chrome-instant&ion=1&espv=2&ie=UTF-8#q=small%20talk%20for%20socially%20awkward%20people

i dont HATE small talk. i totally understand the idea of and why small talk is important. i would like to be able to DO small talk! any stupid autist who says small talk is retarded…..well thats a very immature and stupid thing to say. small talk is the basis of everything. big talk. relationships. success. friends. luvers. showing that you have charisma and confidence and that you are a smart cool charming person and worth hanging out with. or you can faily miserably and show what a boring, awkward, desperate, pathetic omega neet virgin you are hahahahahaha. this is all accomplished on the battlefield of small talk. small talk is ridiculously important and big hahahaha. i totally get that.

so yeah i luv the idea of small talk. i hate trying to do it and failing at something so important.

well this job will def be another big step in getting over that woman. makes it more and more distant. but damn i wish i hadnt been so pathetic and stupid and Creepy. wish id been stronger and cooler and not so desperate and needy and clingy.

so apparently you cant just walk into a store and buy MJ in california nao.

i guess i could tell people that i am interested in Relships and read Relship Advice stories a lot. because I honestly DO! this is kinda weird but its prob my most normie interest. i mean, cant talk to people about WN1488, Alt Right, or Black Metal. talking about RELSHIPS sounds completely reasonable and normie next to all that. and I could work in some spin on how casual secs is degenerate and sinful and disgusting.

women can be awkward and it doesnt hurt them, they can still gets jobs and relships. men and women are probably about equally socially awkward, but theres DISPARATE IMPACT on the men.

anyway. re that woman. yeah now that i think about it, a series of long conversations probably wouldnt have done much good. what WOULD have done some good is me making a BRIEF statement EARLY, like: yep i’m starting to act weird and want to hang out all the time becuase i’m starting to get feelings for you. This is getting hard for me to deal with and I don’t mean to Ghost you, but just do me a solid and give me some time and space, because I dont think you feel the same way, and I need some space to get over my feelings for you. Sorry. Best Wishes in life. You are a good person and I don’t mean to dump you. But this is hard for me and it needs a lot of effort from me. Think of a time when you got feelings for a guy friend and he didn’t return them. It was challenging, wasn’t it. The end.”

even that’s a little too long. and then if she did have feelings, she could respond to that. hahahahaha. so yeah. clearly she thought i was the entitled nice guy and was dreading the dreadful conversation where i tried to BEG her to be with me and tell her why she was WRONG when she said she didnt want me. and she didnt want to put up with that.

i mean i was already BEGGING her to respond. why wouldnt i BEG her to reconsider or change her mind or pleeeeease luvvvvv me back. the torture of hours of me begging.

yeah well i didnt even get a chance. thats the point. maybe i would have been mature about it. but desperate luv compromises your maturity. shit.

but yeah. i coulda and SHOULD HAVE finished all this with one SHORT email in december 2014. rip the bandaid off. sorry babe but I like like you. i obv need to get over that because you dont return the feelings. so i have to take a break from this friendship. i dont want to leave you in the lurch so let me know if i can pay an early termination fee or something. reddit said this can hurt for the friend to get friend dumped, so tell me what i can do to make this easier for you. though i promise you its a LOT harder for ME hahahahahahaha because my heart is utterly broken now and I might fall off the wagon and start doing heron again and K myself hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha jk.

why would i even LOOK at tinder. its full of sluts who think casual sex is OK. fundamental incompatibility of Core Moral Values.

i want to meet women who think sluts are gross and being a slut is gross. i want to meet women who JUDGE sluts. negatively.

WHY DONT MORE PEOPLE JUDGE SLUTS NEGATIVELY. WHY DO SO MANY PEOPLE THINK SLUTTISHNESS IS OK. DAMN. WHY CANT MORE PEOPLE, ESP WOMEN, JUST THINK ITS AT LEAST A LITTLE BIT GROSS.

and why are these damn sluts such successful ADULTS. good normie ADULTS. good at college, good at career, people dont think theyre WEIRD, they LEARN shit and UNDERSTAND shit and can EXPLAIN shit. really get deep into blooms taxonomy of learning hahahaha. learn something deeply. you dont learn something until you can teach it to someone else. those who can’t do, teach HAHAHAHAHAHA.

some people say, dont do a masters degree unless you’re passionate and absolutely sure about it. dont half ass it, or use it as a stopgap because you dont know what else to do, you will waste too much money for too little return.

i tend to like this school of thought.

but then there the other side, which is like, we all need to pay our dues and do things that are tough and expensive and struggle in the medium term of 4 years or so, so things pay off 5, 10 years later. the day comes where you put away your childish toys, put on your big boy pants, and accept that you have to go to work for a living, and spent 80% of your waking hours doing things you dont really WANT to do, that you arent really PASSIONATE about, so you might as well maximize this by doing something that will pay off in the long run.

well, i had enough trouble going to college in a state of welp, i dont know what to do, but i got good grades in high school and i’m expected to go to college. so just pay your dues, get the extremely expensive piece of paper, and then you’ll be set.

but that was all lies hahahaha. so now the goalposts are moved? and i should go into GRADUATE school with the same mindset?

yeah but its a lot different getting into grad school than getting into undergrad. i did great in high school and got into a good undergrad without really much effort or maturity or planning. i did completely average in undergrad and could not see myself getting into an above average grad school without totally busting my ass in a go-getting, gung-ho, high-energy way that i have NEVER been.

and it doesnt seem WORF IT to pay shitloads of money to go to an average or below-average grad program, just to treat it as College 2.0 for when College is the New High School and Grad School is the new College and i hate the whole scam system anyway!

but in life you gotta SUCK IT UP and DO WHAT YOU GOTTA DO!

and why dont NORMIES have such a god damn internal conflict about it? they just go ahead and work hard and GIT R DONE.

heh. i wish i had a Career Coach ever since I was 16, staying on my ass and saying you need to do this, you need to do that.

now some people, their families do that. the chinee high expectations father. you can become doctor or engineer. get your masters degree or youre out of the family. i didnt have that at all, i was SPOILED.

cuz i didnt WANT to do anything. i needed to be trained with the carrot and the stick. left to my own devices in College, i totally went astray. a strong guiding hand, a foot being put down, that prob would have helped me in the long run. classic first world problems of being first in the fam to go to college hehehe. and of course i didnt appreciate that privilege at all. damn.

if i had to go to college, should have gone to local uni and stayed at home so the fam could have kept me in line, from doing stupid shit like MJ and alcohol.

but i still did MJ and alcohol when i was at home! i just hid it really well. i either would have gotten a DUI much earlier (which prob would have been GOOD), and probably did a bit less MJ, which DEF would have been good. definitely would have seen less of those crazy women doing crazy shit, which would have been good.

i dunno. alternate realities and what ifs and all that. i mean i still went crazy over women when being at home.

but yeah. ive never liked SCHOOL, and ive never liked WORK, and doing EITHER is PULLING TEETH.

See those normies? GOALS.

Goals are important. Goals are A Thing. See what happens when you have goals? You should have goals. Get Goals. Goals. Just Achieve Them.

all of education is fooked up. from grade school to grad school. serious fundamental problems with ALL of it.

heh. there should be homeschool grad school.

but you dont NEED grad school!!!!

well grad school is just perfect for some people! they are total grad school nerds! they clearly belong there!

i couldnt see myself getting in just because i couldnt see myself getting convincing recommendations and statement of intent. uhhh i want to get into grad school because i cant get a 26k FT job with a bachelors degree, so i’m really just treating this as high school 3.0. i fookin hate school but this is the bare minimum for being lower middle class in 2000s.

I would MUCH RATHER Just Work A Job. An Entry Level, 25k a year job, than go to god damn grad school. not that i have a good shot at getting into grad school ANYWAY! I have a better chance at getting the 25k a year job! and weve seen how fooking ridiculously godforsakenly hard THAT is! maybe it IS easier getting into a masters degree at a shitty noname school! MBA at phoenix!

yeah but i dont WANT to do an MBA, i would rather do a masters in relationship and despair counseling. which is an inherently useless degree! catch 22 here. quite the dilemma. and i dont want to be a social worker working with welfare blacks for a contractor with the city of oakland or the city of ferguson or something.

although its funny. today one of my “customers” was a black guy with an mba and I tried to make small talk with him. he was much better at it than me, but i am at least trying to be nice folks, i swear. but i cant talk about sports or anything. i cant tell this black guy that i am a trump supporting hwyte nationalist racist hahahaha. i nervously mentioned my interest in “news and current events”, which is FAIR…..BUT WHAT IF PEOPLE TAKE THAT BAIT and try to get you talking about TRVMP??????

well shit, this guy could actually BE a trump supporter, he seems to be a rather moderate, conservative, white acting, oreo black. almost like he is now overcompensating to not talk like a black, he is very well spoken, great speaking voice. he even made jokes about the HR diversity sensitivity training we had to do about trannies and shit hahahahahaha. i laughed and said yeah I hear ya man. well we didnt talk specifically about trannies. or have a frank conversation on race hahahahahaha.

see i dont hate blacks hahahaha. i just had an awkward conversation with a grad school educated black man hahahaha.

also all these people have experience giving lectures and discussions in front of groups of people. they have done that hundreds of times. there is no possible argument that this is not a GREAT life skill.

i would be dropping the spaghetti all over the place. oh now im the TEACHER and my STUDENTS are gonna think im an IDIOT. i never wanted to be a teacher but now i want to be a teacher even LESS, hahahahaha.

shit i can barely be a STUDENT. I can barely be a 13k a year EMPLOYEE. I cant even be a bare minimum ADULT. hahahahaha. I fooked up on easy mode, cant even deal with NORMIE MODE, hahahahaha.

funny all this goddamn self doubt even though now i am damn WORKING and that is an INFINITE improvement over where i was 2 months ago. why not just be happy about that.

went all in with AA, guy beat me with full house. sheeeeeeit.

heh. wonder what that woman is doing with her life right now. i know she got a job similar to what we were doing. probably making similar or more money, maybe higher up, def lots of hours, def lot more money than me, def making literally TWICE the money I am making. well shell have plenty of money to spend on her black bastard then hahahahahahahahahahahaha wawawawawawawawawawawa im so sad and lonely and want her back and will never get over her, muh perfect waifu hhahahahaha.

yeah i am playing things up a bit. but for a long time thats how bad it was. bad shit. wouldnt wish on worst enemy.

i guess its worse when i am working alongside 20 year old kids and they are all going to college, yup working on muh engin degree or nursing degree or HR degree, and then they graduate and get a 28k a year job, while you remain at the kid student job. at least here i dont have any young kids beside me being a constant reminder of what an old failure i am hahahahahahaha.

ALT RIGHT VVN 14VV JAYCUE

dec 14

hmmm been more busy with job related stuff that i thought. it is technically easy and almost enjoyable. but also want to impress people and show initiative and show that i am smart and prove myself and KICK ASS.

stayed up too late reading the new BERNARD CHAPIN book MAN GOING HIS OWN WAY

which according to amazon, IS supposed to be 8.5 x 11 inches big.

i mean its not perfect. he’s really not the greatest writer. and i have read BOTH his other books. he always has entertaining stories to tell and strong opinions to share, but i honestly see better WRITING from the posters on TRS or MPC. And Bern is a voracious reader and has a masterz degree, you’d think he’d write a little better. but alot of the stuff reads like a first draft.

NO MATTER. HE IS A GOOD MAN AND DESERVES YOUR SUPPORT.

Like his videos and him talking are a lot better, more engaging, than his writing. So when I read his writing, I always imagine him reading it in his style, which makes it seem better.

tons of juicy stories about his rels with women. and they are not flattering stories. tbh he comes across as an immature dick and thats why these women leave him hahahahahahahah. but they don’t really leave him, he leaves them! or he is such an asshole to them that he intentionally pushes them away! why didnt you just dump the gurl yourself Uncle B? well, he was only 19 or 20 years old so i can forgive him. Also i appreciate the honesty of him admitting to being a jealous monster. I know that feel bro hahahaha. but he was only a jealous monster once in his life, for one woman, for a few months, and then he stopped. never beat anybody up. never abused anybody. in fact he gradually lost interest in HER afterwards and she dumped him and he was HAPPY.

so yeah i cannot identify with ANY of that hahahahaha.

also if i’m reading this correctly, he has banged more women than years he’s been alive. or at least when he was 32, his number was positive. this is his “number” and i thought it was interesting. taken from hockey. forgot what its called. over under, positive negative, plus minus? basically number of gurls you banged minus your age, and hope you get a positive number, but when he was in his 20s, he had a negative number. like i would have over a -30 hahahaha. i thought it was an interesting metric hahahaha. good one bern.

Bern says matt forney was editor/proofreader, actually I think Forney is probably a better WRITER than Chapin, although a lamer GUY hahahaha. Forney is like if Chapin had never banged 30 women hahahaha. No I was reading Forney back when he was IN MALA FIDE. I am OLD FOOKIN SKOOL. I just am concerned that forney and chapin encourage each others worst habits, namely, mgtowism and not wanting a waifu hahaha. chapin has felt the innate spark within to have children so i give him credit for that, that’s what really matters. but he is dead set against a wife, and seems resigned to the fact he prob wont have children. that is too bad. i still want him to impregnate a 20 year old white gurl. MAKE IT HAPPEN.

and forney is a fat sad bastard who drinks too much and bangs nonwhite sluts. i cannot and will not approve.

but i wont crap on forney too much. he makes a living from writing and all that. i would just really like it if he got in shape and committed himself to hardcore, alt right, 1488, WN. submitted to TRS and let them mold him hahahaha.

anyway yeah the book could be better but it could be a lot worse. but i still had tons of questions:

what kind of effort did bernard make in these relships?

why did he just lose interest?

talk more about his relship with his father. his mother. his sister.

talk more about his career, graduate school. for a very very masculine man, he picked a very very feminine field!!! (psychology, school psychology.) but i don’t doubt his masculinity one bit either.

i just think he is honestly a SPERG who has some difficulty socializing. maybe. but yeah i will always feel SOME sort of connection to him because he helped me get where I am now, and I have spent countless hours listening to infernos. i mean he is a really entertaining, fun speaker.

did he ever have EXTREME DOUBTS about himself? bouts of TOTAL DESPAIR? I don’t really think so.

how did he prepare for Grad School? Were his Grad School papers better written than his books?

how is it THAT hard for him to get along with women?

talk more about male friends.

actually i think he DOES talk about SOME of this in “escape from gangsta island” which was a nice long book, I enjoyed that one too. just can’t remember the details.

Bernards a Good Boi Dindu Nuffin, would just like him to come fully over to the 1488 Alt Right and its pretty cringeworthy when he says that NSDAP/AH were total MARXISTS.  hmmmmmm. Marxist Leftists.

He talks about going on JDate in this book and he seems to be aware of J’ish identity. it was a hilarious story. his Alpha Male friend pretty much dared him to go on JDate in return for a cash loan when Bern was broke from going out with 10 women at the same time. Then he was going out with 14 women at the same time. he got so bored, berned out, frustrated, and annoyed, that he said FOOK THIS SHIT and basically RETIRED from women. Modern women are stupid, annoying, intolerable, unlikeable, I’d literally rather be alone. And he has been alone ever since hahahaha. he is definitely a very PRINCIPLED man hahaha. I just wish he had better luck with the women and met some damn DECENT women already. I think it was a mix of his stubbornness and terrible luck that did it. he saw the worst of the worst. really he should have stayed with his first GF, and not dumped her when they were 16 hahahahaha. but he said she was boring, they had nothing to talk about, nothing in common, she was just smokin hot and generally nice to him, so that was good enough for 6 months or so.

i dunno, i never dated a gurl for 6 months with regular banging, so i wouldnt know! maybe you CAN get bored with a person like that!

he is an interesting case. he says he is introverted and awkward, yet he powered through that and did “WORK”, facing his fear and approaching thousands of women, horribly and awkwardly, and was able to bang dozens of apparently awful, immature, horrible, intolerable, childish women who were not relship worthy.

i know a large part of this is him hanging around with yuppies and professionals and SWPLs in chicago.

i dunno. i just feel he was never in the right place at the right time. what if he were young NOW, with a growing alt right. even I am getting too old. thankfully I’m not THAT old. I’m not SO old that I can’t be part of the alt right. i sure wish i were 10 years younger though. better than wishing you were 22 years younger i guess. Bernard was still Slaying Poosay when he was my age hahahaha.  or maybe he had JUST become a proto-MGTOW. remember: he is “SO OLD” that MGTOW was a BRAND NEW thing when he was in his 30’s. sheeeeeit. how can you be 46 and SUPER OLD. it’s NOT super old. but now MGTOW is clearly old, outdated, tried and failed, discarded, moving on to something better. continuous improvement. still guys like me and def bernard have been molded somewhat by mgtow, will always have a mgtow streak in us. i dont think its a BAD thing.

but yeah im not as much like bernard as i thought i guess. i mean i always knew he had a TON of experience with women, but i guess this just proves it. BUT has he ever really been in a SOLID rel for 2 years or longer? I cant say. well i havent gotten to the chapter about his WIFE yet. I guess she was REALLY crazy. he jumps all around. he has barely even MENTIONED his wife yet. knowing his jumpy writing style, he might skip over the wife altogether.

I mean I should really just have a skype meeting or phone call with bernard already, he’d probably be willing.

yeah i cant think of anyone i really want to TALK to tho. I’m perfectly fine reading their books, peoples forum poasts, watching their youtube vidyas, i dont really want to have a CONVERSATION with anyone. except maybe people from TRS, MAYBE. esp local people for real life meetups. there is actually a TRS group in muh city area which I have not contacted them about at all. guess Im not really serious about the 14 words then!

Back a few months ago, i really want to talk to and have a conversation with That Woman. Now I am like meh. its DEFINITELY too late for that. it would no longer be productive. it would just be very frustrating and pointless and stupid and angering for me.

yeah i guess i wouldnt mind talking to varg vikernes. maybe weev. hahahahaha. maybe george foreveralone feels. me and him a really alike, we could have a good talk, we would understand each other. i would tell him the secret to losing weight is simply eating less. you eat 400 calories over the limit and you are still starving hahahaha. hungry all the time for a year. that’s how you lose 20% of your body weight hehehehe.

oooo i was happy about this hand:

2016-12-14-21_23_29-carom-0-01_0-02-no-limit-holdem-replay-13645490

ALWAYS happy to get NUT FLUSH and especially to DOUBLE UP on it. does not happen too often!

but yeah bernard got burned out because he was going on date after date after date with woman after woman after woman and was getting bored with their stories and it sounded like going on damn job interviews. thats no fun. he probably just needed to take a break from Dating, and then he could enjoy women more. but maybe im wrong. i mean he did date women after this!

maybe i just wish bernard would hang out with TRS, WN and alt right 1488 fascists, rather than hanging out with forney, clarey, and aurini. who are not BAD GUYS per se…….. no they are good guys, but i just gotta go with the STRONG HORSE.

not that those guys are “WEAK”….well TRS and the WN alt right are just about as strong as it gets IMHO. If they came over to this side, it would make them stronger too. doors open fellas. well they say clarey is a “technical j00” hahahaha.

AT THE DRIVE IN REUNION? i guess I shouldnt be so surprised. Jeez I should really think about going to this tho. maybe its a total sellout thing without orig members. like the black flag “reunion” hehehehe. jeez i bet it will sell out immediately. if i still knew that woman i would ask her to go and she would reject me and go to the same concert with another guy and then i might go by myself and see her there with him hahahahahaha.

no i dont think she knew of at the drive in. shit i barely know them. i just know they are hugely influential and ahead of their time and broke up too soon and led to the mars volta……but i guess mars volta isnt as huge as they were like 8 years ago eh? they used to be really big with the hip music kids.

heh. i guess this has been going on for a while and they already played in my city in summer 2016 hehehehehehe.

sheeeeit i always end up staying up too late!!!!!!

dec 15

sam hyde speaks frankly about his show being cancelled from adult swim. i have no idea what happened here. was it because sam is an alt right racist hehehehe. i mean i was surprised he even GOT a show on tv to begin with. and i would like sam to speak ideologically, i want to know what he REALLY believes. not that i suspect him, i think he probably is legit 1488 alt right.

hearing stories of successful, motivated, ambitious young students. reading press releases. an 18 year old “bad boy” goes to prison for 3 years for drug deal, gets a job afterwards, returns to skool, eager to complete a degree in engineering. maybe by age 25 he can get a 40k a year stem job and he’s spent 3 years in PRISON hahahaha.

people who switch their major 10 times by age 19 and finally settle on MATH, and are working with math faculty, plan on getting a phd in math. 20 year old girls who like the thrill of explaining advanced math to people and seeing the light bulb. a 20 year old undergrad can teach math better than many instructors with graduate degrees, even phd’s.

ironic that us smart kids used to make fun of the college as where the losers and fookups and lazy kids and trash goes, and i went to a Good University, and now I see that the 20 year old kids at the Fookup College are bigger winners than I am at age 30!

I don’t begrudge them, good for them i say, i am glad to change my Preconceived notions of the college and its students, and now I freely admit they are great people doing amazing things. I wish I had gone there when I was 20 hehehe instead of going to Good Univ.

So yeah, good for these kids. but i ENVY them, being so young and motivated and having their Shit Together. if they lose their way, they are back on their way by 25 at the absolute latest. not still fooking around at 35 hahahaha. so yeah i can only read so many Success Stories before I’m like damn. these young kids are huge winners and I’m an even bigger loser than I thought!

Having to explain to people why you didnt go to graduate skool. because you didnt like skool. because you didnt think it would be a good investment. because you werent willing to kick ass in your program. well then why should we HIRE you? why should I pick YOU as a husband and father of muh children when you arent MOTIVATED to work hard, be successful, and make even slightly above average money? very valid questions.

i mean these people aren’t really SMARTER than me, they just have a much better WORK ETHIC. working on long term goals, being persistent and resilient and never giving up. whereas i give up too easily hehehe.

yeah well but i dont really give up until I am about ready to K myself with panic hahahahaha. also, I ALWAYS try to do a good job and have GREAT attendance at jobs. when I was getting PAID, I ALWAYS tried to do my best.  also i got good grades in school, followed instructions, did the stuff on time, and high quality, did well on tests. just couldnt translate that into a career.

funny to be thinking all this when i am actually more successful than ive been in 17 months hahahahaha. but now I am seeing and hearing about all these successful young people and I am envious of them and disappointed in myself, wish i had the GUTS and the TOUGHNESS that they have.

yeah prob get really tired at the end of tonight like i did last thursday. sleep like the dead. drinking a lot of coffee today.

hmm tom petty summer tour. thats on bucket list way more than at the drive in. FIFTY DOLLARS for lawn tickets. i mean its 35 plus 15 damn dollars for all the goddam jooish fees. COME ON. i would pay 35 dollars. 50 is rougher. i mean maybe i will change my mind. not like lawn is gonna SELL OUT. i mean i should see TOM PETTY. would rather see tom petty than bob dylan. why cant petty play a medium sized theatre. more importantly, why are tickets to a goddam open air megatheatre so goddam expensive???? they should be less than 20 bucks. you can cram 100000 people in here.

varg v made an anti alt right video and i was like hmm i think me and him are thinking of different things hehehe. you need to come hang out with the TRS goys hahaha. then he started talking shit about andrew anglin and i was like ayo hol up. i like both varg and anglin of course. and i accept varg is just not gonna give an inch on his anti christian stuff. thats technically fine. then varg linked to this other guy who did this expose on anglin which is supposed the truth about why AA is an “anti white zionist shill” and sounds like some real sinead tier shit hahahaha. anyway i would like to listen to all of this and hear what he’s actually saying.

http://www.dailystormer.com/andrew-anglin-exposed/

heres anglins reponse i guess, which i already had bookmarked from months ago hehehehe

and now varg is dissing spencer because spencer associates with the joo “gottfried”? i have never heard of gottfried before today. heheheh movement drama.

official (((atlantic))) 11 minute documentary on RS came out today

posting here for posterity

suprsingly good, good stuff in there with millennial woes and william regnery, who i want to know how much money he has given to The Cause, i feel this guy is more important than he seems hahaha.

oh come on this just isnt fair hahahahaha. i am starting to really warm up to spencer finally. turns out they just did a podcast with spencer AND k1ke enoch AND andre anglin. NOICE. DOUBLE BONER hahahahaha.

maybe varg can talk shit about enoch too hahaha. i am disappoint hehehehe.

i mean really anglin should have gone to NPI. i think enoch went. or maybe sven hehehe. some trs higher ups. somebody saw the mysterious enoch in person hahaha. shit. he keeps hanging out with richard spencer and someones gonna get a damn photo of him hehehe.

heh. wonder if the trs convention in early 2017 will get press. probably will. theroretically i could try to beg trs for an invite. ideally i would like to go. that is going to be OFF THE CHAINS. i’m just wondering if media joos and antifa joos will notice and start reporting on it like they did with NPI. its possible TRS might EXPLODE in popularity at that time.

anyway now i feel impostor syndrome, and also lazy, like i’m not willing to do the outside work to learn the shit for my job. yet i read email and job related stuff all the time off the clock. but i’m not doing the MOST effective stuff, studying the HIGHEST PRIORITY stuff. and i am worried about that biting me in the ass.

not used to not being micromanaged. but i am used to receiving unclear directions and then trying to Act On them hahahahaha. not that im even GETTING that here. im still trying to figure out exactly what i’m getting….other than i can immediately tell that the people are very nice, and its going to be a lot different, in a good way, but there still are unknowns like…..i cant even say! theyre unknown unknowns! the sense of being in a new environment! it just takes time! you cant rush it! time to used muh radical acceptance hahaha.

dec 16

6 more inches of snow? will have gotten like 16 inches of snow by xmas. last year had no snow by xmas. none of these below 10 degree days for xmas. already a brutal winter and its not technical winter yet! bad news. dont know HOW i ever survived without winter boots for like 2 years (because there wasnt a lot of snow!) or especially warm winter socks (yeah this was a smart move. cant stop wearing these. try not to wear them in public or when trying to make a good impression, its just at home and errands and that type of stuff, not when i am WORKING or trying to Compete for a Wife.

had weird dream where i was visiting an old college-era friend of mine, one of those guys you will always remember fondly and be thankful for meeting. talked about him before. super cool good decent guy, super smart, great sense of humor, great personality, got phd in disgusting antiwhite cultural marxism unfort, haven’t talked to him in…..6 years. hmmm. but i will always remember him and wish him well! i hope he find a good wife and has some kids. it would be a CRIME AGAINST NATURE for him not to have at least 3 white kids. he would be a great father. Like me, he was a HIGHLY Moral, Principled man…..but he was a lot more cool about it. seemed to have it mastered a lot better, hehehe. didnt STRUGGLE so much. made it look easy. Maybe a part of this is that we both spent our youths in catholic schools, so we are Typical Catholic Assholes hahahaha. but yeah the catholics would be lucky to have this guy representing them, but I don’t think he has Gotten Back To The Church. Shit I haven’t really gotten back to the church. I just go every week and Mull Things Over and think how one can be a Catholic Alt Right White Nationalist hahahaha. Same way you can be a Degenerate Abortionist Catholic I guess hahahahaha.

mornings are for coffee and contemplation as the phaggot cop in the “Stranger things” commercial says. NO phaggot, mornings are for being SLAMMED with Urgent, Complex, Heroic, Exhausting WORK, just like afternoons and evenings hahahaha. Free at last, thank GOD ALMIGHTY hahahaha.

adorable, beautiful, and important pro-family 14 words vidya by varg. his heart is in the right place, we want the same things, he just misunderstands the alt right and anglin and spencer, but i’ll allow it because his heart is in the right place and we want the same things and he is clearly a Trve WN committed to the 14W and the things that MATTER.

to me, MY alt right is synonymous with Alt Right. For Varg it is not. he dislikes the term Alt Right; I have no problem with it. FINE. But I would be SHOCKED if he took issue wth the term WN. How could he have a problem with that term.

I should leave him a comment saying this. he would probably reply. bbbbbut I would really like to have a LIVE VOICE CHAT with him. but he’s never done one of those. no interviews, no conversations. he really SHOULD. even bernard started doing these. good for him. really TALK to people.

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC79N-Hh5_Zhs_MPLP3QzAJA

go sub to alt right andy. i don’t THINK this is andrew anglin, maybe it is, but the POINT is, this guy uploads like a best of the alt right all day every day: trs podcasts, non trs podcasts, all solid stuff, recent and older, of huhwhyte-friendly stuff that’s not on youtube, he puts it on youtube. very convenient aggregator hahahaha.

http://www.radixjournal.com/tees/official-radix-t-shirt

heh i should probably give a few bucks to richard spencer. i thought YKW aka the JQ shut down his paypal, but apparently they did NOT. also NPI is a 5013c org, which i did not know. wouldnt be surprised to see that go away.

hehehehe i just pledged 1 fecking dolla a month to both matt foney and emily youcis. i felt bad about joining trs in making fun of tubby sad thirsty forney hahahaha. he’s a good writer and he is SO CLOSE. he goes to NPI and amren. i just want to push him further though. lose weight or especially become a damn WN 1377 man. he’s almost there, he just remains deluded in not wanting to seem like a racist. and is afraid to touch the JQ too much. i mean JQ is pretty much the final red pill. there’s the people who never talk about it, and then the people who talk about it a LOT, like me hahahaha. or varg. or TRS. pretty sure spencer does too.

or its a beautiful thing to WATCH a smart white man take the JQ Redpill. we got to watch this evolution every step of the way with millennial woes. as he says in the atlantic video, 3 years ago he didnt even think about it, or was just starting to think about it. and now he has followed it to its logical conclusion. which is why i give him 50% more than i am pledging forney hahahaha.

anyway the dream i had. i was visiting my old friend for the first time in years, and to my horror, THAT WOMAN was one of like 6 people who lived in his house. I never saw that woman, just her name on a mailbox or something. my friend couldn’t be blamed, he didn’t know of her history with me.

there was i think an implication that he might be dating that woman now! this was very unclear tho. but even if that were the case, i couldn’t be mad at him, because again, he had no idea that that woman ever knew me.

thankfully i never SAW that woman in the dream. just her Spectre, hehehehe.

yeah i would prob date emily youcis even if she had great potential to have a potato body and i really hate potato bodies, or women that have such YUGE Melon Heavy Breasts that they will certainly become horrendously saggy. despite these cons she has a very QT face. and her huge breasts would be neat for the next 5-10 years at least.

i like that she

a. faced consequences for her actions, which never happens to women, ie, she took a stand and lost her friends and lost her job.

b. she repented for her past degeneracy and is moving in the right direction even after being punished for it.

pretty principled and honorable and moral for a WOMAN!!!!!

i mean most women start out good and go bad pretty fast. she started out kinda degen and then GOT BETTER. i tip muh fedora to any mlady who can IMPROVE herself like that. to say no, fook this shit, this shit is WRONG, i want to be a BETTER PERSON. so thats why emily has earned my 1 feckin dolla a month. also pretty sure i would mostly enjoy making out, secs, and cuddling with her hahaha.

if her cartoon gets more degen instead of less then i can always stop my pledge hahahaha. cuz it is a very degen cartoon. but it’s better for a woman to do a solitary, creative pursuit, than to be out there sucking, fooking, cheating, and breaking real people’s hearts. a woman who can spend time alone by herself, rather than out in the world causing damage and Relational Violence and pain and suffering hahahaha.

im aware she probably sm0ked tons of MJ and odds are maybe even banged nonwhites. did that degen thing called “smut cave.” believe me i will stop giving her 12 dollars a year if she goes back to any of that shit! but i believe people can change! i want to change too! but its def not easy!

andy griffith show. this seems pretty wholesome, huhwhyte, and nonjooish. was don knotts a joo? LETS FIND OUT.

https://anon.to/?https://www.stormfront.org/forum/t273603-2/

i support stormfront in theory as large, old community of honest pro-whites, but i dont really trust don black to manage the money. i know i donated like 2 dollars to them at some point but no more hahaha.

also if i link directly to them, they will prob find me. happened with another blog. when i was just starting to get into pro white stuff in 2010-12. i was not as directly “I AM A FULL BLOWN WN” as i am now, more like i was open to the idea. then somebody posted a thread on stormfront pointing out muh blog, linking to it. did not generate any responses thank god.

anyway stormfront says don knotts was NOT jooish, but one guy had to have a post saying andy griffith is not as wholesome as it seems, and is in fact subversive, perverted jooish trash hahahaha.

they say don knotts’ comedy style was jooish, pure catskill borscht belt shit, and the AG show producer was aaron ruben, a yuge J.

i’ll allow these arguments hahahaha. not NOT an argument hehehehe.

born in west virginia to english stock. pretty sure west virginia is the huhwhytest state in the US. I should srsly move there. not even joking.

anyway point is, don knotts seems like a nice honest man to me. maybe he was self deprecating because he was short and petite, not because he was worshipping jooish comedians.

honestly once you take the Joo pill, theres no going back hahahaha. you see EVERYTHING through that lens. and i think thats a GOOD thing.

heh. went to catholic church for standard xmastime confession service. i never ever do the thing where you confess your sins in the confessional, havent done that since i was like 12 hahaha. usually do this thing where you write your sins on a small piece of paper, give it to the priest, they bless you right there without really reading the paper, put the paper in a metal garbage cans, then burn them at the end. symbolic. well that is a bit of a controversial procedure in that some higher ups dont agree that its a proper trve confession. might be heresy hahaha. so this year there was a more proper “group reconciliation” thing where they had 5 priests, and you lined up and actually TALKED TO THE PRIEST for 2 minutes confessing your sins in person. so i was nervous about that. did it anyway. no worse than the phone calls i had to take 20 times a day for muh job hahahaha. just ramble autistically about how i am selfish and judgemental and racist and sexist and lustful and lazy and hateful and a complainer and lukewarm and judge everybody etc etc etc.

http://archive.is/TX6mq

paul gottfried, richard spencers jooish “mentor.” article in the tablet, a ridiculously jooish journal, nov 2016, which charges 180 dollars a YEAR to be able to COMMENT on their WEBSITE. WOW. I CANT EVEN. I AM LITERALLY SHAKING RIGHT NOW.

http://www.frontpagemag.com/fpm/263988/some-observations-man-who-created-alt-right-paul-gottfried

gottfried himself writes an article, not gonna blame him for that stupid title tho. TLDR hahahaha. he admits to at one time being a friend of spencer. well does spencer admit to being a friend of him? i dont even care if he is hahahaha. i mean this gottfried is probably one of the good joos. hes still gotta go back tho. even the good joos must go back. the bad far outweighs the good. kinda like blacks and muslims and browns and mestizos hahahahahaha and nonwhites in general.

uh oh getting prejudiced and judgemental again, better watch out or i will have to go back to confession hahaha.

 

 

CULTURE OF CANCER

nov 29

heh. spent money to order a TRS Ghoul t-shirt before the campaign ended. its a little pricey but they do good work and i want to support TRS and tshirts are my fav kind of merchandise hahahaha.

hopefully the company gives ghoul/trs a decent cut. I know TRS tried to make tshirts with a mainstream shirt company like teespring or something like that, and they were SHUT DOWN before they could even MAKE the first batch of shirts.

i wrote a note to the current company saying thank you for not firing your controversial client hehehehe.

ordered a L instead of an XL because i have lost so much weight that an L shirt now looks too damn big. jeez. so i have all these GREAT t shirts that look a little too big and floppy.

i guess the lesson is, lose weight, then buy Great Clothes for you at that weight, so you are motivated to not gain weight again and get too big for those clothes.

maybe i was dumped with extreme prejudice and insult and hostility because i was A Little Bit Overweight hahahahahahaha. no i already dealt with that Distortion.

2016-11-29-16_53_41-sky-jpg-1000x1250

here is the ghoul t shirt design. could be more edgy hahahaha but i guess having a fookin NOTSEE DEATHS HEAD is pretty edgy hahahaha. and surf the kali yuga just means ride the tiger hahaha. and most importantly, signals to other fashy goys that you know about these things, but have never read a word of evola hahahahahahaha.

then you can be like hey goy how much money you make and they will say, i make over 100k a year as a successful entrepreneur, manager, lawyer, doctor, stemgineer, and you can say: huh well i make 13k a year as an unemployable neet, wanna gimme a job and help really put the 14 words into practice hahahahaha. and they will say ok heres a 24k a year job, just stay away from my wife and daughters and family hahahaha. and i will say, thank you kind sir, GOD bless you and bless the huhwhyte race.

hmm you can force gmail starred to appear in the left list. in fact i think i probably turned it OFF accidentally.

ok so the deaths head is a symbol of the SS in particular. hitlers bodyguards hahaha. the schutzstaffel hahhaha.

that stupid woman. out there being successful and making money and being happy and being a productive member of society making 30k a year. while i struggle just to make HALF that. its like shes MORE THAN TWICE THE PERSON I AM.

twice as successful, twice as powerful, skillful, capable, twice as VALUABLE TO THE WORLD.

again that is an issue of perspective and ATTITUDE. just a lot of complex Negative Thoughts that need to be Unpacked and FIXED.

with what? talk back to it with BULLSHIT like you’re not defined by your JOB, unsuccessful people have as much Human Value as successful people?

REAL EASY TO SAY WHEN YOURE A SUCCESSFUL PERSON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

but when someone kicks you out of there life and then becomes ragingly successful while you become a raging failure, yeah thats rough man. thinking about them. the fantasy world where you could have been with them, lived happily ever after, and YOU would be successful too, making 30k a year, HAPPILY EVER AFTER. Youd have problems sure, everybody does, but youd work through them, and continue making 30k a year happily ever after.

i was sort of thinking about That Woman cuz ive just been emailing with the old colleague who worked with both of us, and we talk about so and so leaving and getting a job somewhere. and now we can no longer talk about That Woman because if My Issues. yikes.

yeah but I really DONT want to hear about how That Woman is doing so well, making 35k at her new manager job, getting married to her new successful black BF. hahahaha. really NOTHING I can hear about her will make me happy. i just need to pretend she doesnt exist. i dont want harm to come to her…….but i dont want to hear about her doing really WELL either.  im SURE shes doing well, they all do well, unless she does something to screw it up, then its her own damn fault, and i have no sympathy, and she has fairly 50 50 chances of either screwing it up, or doing well. the choice is hers. not mine. its none of my business.  i just wish it WAS my business! also who knows if That Woman even talks to the former colleague any more! might be Too Busy with her New Life!

nov 30

this is what Getting Over It looks like hahahaha. tons of thinking about the past, some thinking about the future hahahaha. what is she doing now. whos she fookin, how much money is she making.

everyone i know makes WAY more money than me, and it doesnt really BOTHER me. i guess if it did, THEN i would have a big problem. the only time it really BOTHERS me is when WOMEN who have rejected me go on to make tons of money and become super successful.

its like saying they are TOUGHER and STRONGER and BETTER than me, the REAL ADULT WORLD says this person is WORTH a lot more for their brains and skills and personality and work and worth.

it bothers me most with That Woman because overnight I went from making ok money to making NO money, and she went on making ok money, and has continued to make ok/pretty good money ever since, for a year and a half, while during that time ive made NO money. very very very humbling.

now other women who have rej me went on to make good money……several years AFTER they rej me. they paid their dues by going to grad skool for several years. fine. they deserve to make good money then.

but that woman, she never went to GRAD SKOOL! she never even finished COLLEGE! she hasnt paid enough DUES yet! me and her, we paid about the same amount of dues, well technically i paid a bit MORE! and now shes making WAY more than I am! Probably getting promoted! moving up! does she have 200 credits of college? no, she has like 60! does she know how to be charismatic AND really solve problems? NO she just sits there and looks pretty and says idk, it cant be fixed. she sm0kes too much MJ and believes in stupid conspiracy theories!

yeah i have my issues with Emotion Regulation and its a struggle to find my Wise Mind, but I can sometimes fake it pretty well. pretend i am a level headed, logical person. she cant even do that! yet she can make 30k+ a year and I cant even make muh goal of 26k a year! and she is 8 years younger than me! and 3 times less educated than me! rabble rabble rabble hahahahaha

so much butthurt hahahaha.

but the men I see every week for my social event, they make WAY more money than me, and it doesnt really bother me. i dont think that they think they are so much better than me, the pathetic low-earning loser.

i wasnt asking her to BE WITH ME. I was asking her to talk to me and make a GOOD FAITH EFFORT to HELP ME, in that her making a good faith effort to talk and TRY to smooth things out a little bit would have meant a LOT to me and i dont think was TOO MUCH TO ASK of her, like asking her to Be With Me would be. lets just talk about how we are both gonna handle this and move forward and try to have cool heads about this. so i was/am resentful that she wasnt even willing to do that.

yeah my Extreme Emotions are my own responsibility to control. but she could have given a LITTLE effort which would have helped me a LOT. low effort, high reward. high ROI. sacrifice a little short term awkwardness to reduce a LOT of long term suffering for me. i guess THATS what I really am butthurt about.

just write me an EMAIL saying you have my SYMPATHY. Sorry about YOUR LOSS. EXPLAIN yourself. I am very willing to listen. I want to explain myself to you and really want YOU to LISTEN.  asking somebody to be willing to listen, and also to explain themselves to you, well an explanation isnt really necessary, but its a sign of GOOD FAITH that I think is NICE when youve known somebody almost 3 years and have a Real Relationship!

She was a bad dumper. i was a pretty good dumpee, all things considered. I took it very poorly and did not cope well at ALL, completely heartbroken mess, but I was not a BAD DUMPEE by doing things like stalking, begging, pleading, harrassing, facebooking, messaging, calling, texting, manipulating. I sent a few emails. big fookin deal. then I said welp these emails arent working, time to do no contact. and I sure did. i was a total devastated mess and did not cope well with that and that is embarrassing, but BY GOD did I ACCEPT HER STUPID DECISION hahahaha.

shit i accepted it better than i did with the other women, well besides woman2012. I handled that one really well, partly because SHE handled it really well. a tip of the fedora to mlady hahahaha.

but the other women i was always scheming to Win Them Back, staying in contact with them, not understanding that Its Fookin OVER. i mean i still didnt stalk or harrass or bombard them though. ive never been a superbad dumpee. i mean i ahve had very dark thoughts but even when i was DRINKING i never DID anything worse than spit a spray of beer on a gurls shitty car once hahahaha. i was 22 hahaha.

with that woman, i just sent some long pathetic emails explaining myself and begging her to please explain herself. when i saw that wasnt working, i stopped all contact whatsoever and continued being devastated by myself hahaha.

so yeah. dont say i was a bad creepy dumpee who couldnt accept her decision! i was a GOOD dumpee!!!!!!!

SHE was a bad DUMPER!!!!!

BAD DUMPER! GOOD DUMPEE!

later

went to walmart and spent 80 damn dollars like a privileged white man. bought cheapo winter boots, winter socks, huhwhyte tshirts, black dress shirt, black sweatshirt, some groceries, all at decent price. tried on wrangler ultimate khakis in the dressing room. could not find a good fit on the stiffer ones. did not try on the softer ones. a good pair of khaki pants is hard to find hahaha. well for the time being i have some gray Dress Pants and some super casual gray cord jean type pants that look good but feel weird. more of a modern fit than a classic fit.

anyway i am being converted into a damn walmart fan. for their selection and prices. i just obviously hate the whole walmart culture, with exploited underpaid pathetic employees, and pathetic, disgusting trash customers. well the mens clothes and the SHOES selection is actually really darn good! next time i need SHOES i am going to walmart!

i got the cheapo 20 dollar winter boots. if they fall apart after 1 winter then i will get the even cheaper rubber boots and just wear warm thick socks with them.

i would not recommend walking around for hours in the boots. i mean these are not High End boots, and I think a man owes it to himself to have a good pair of High End Boots. but that is a big investment.

they had softer wrangler khakis and much stiffer wrangler khakis which were almost as stiff as damn dickies.

they had 15 dollar “faded glory” khakis which looked pretty good. this is the walmart store brand. NICE.

https://www.walmart.com/cp/mens-clothing/133197

they had nice Turtleneck shirts! i remember i always wanted one of those so i could look like a poem writing phaggot hahahaha.

http://www.artofmanliness.com/2013/12/03/beyond-sissy-resilience-on-becoming-antifragile/#at_pco=smlrebh-1.0&at_si=583f31a6a86d53f6&at_ab=per-2&at_pos=0&at_tot=3

really some decent articles here. i mean yeah ive been aware of the site for years and just wrote it off as mainstream jooish media, but i guess its really not bad, like a more masculine version of mens health or some shit.

http://www.artofmanliness.com/2011/11/21/how-to-handle-being-out-of-your-depth-6-tips-from-a-con-man/#at_pco=smlrebv-1.0&at_si=583f327af9631873&at_ab=per-2&at_pos=2&at_tot=5

hope those weird numbers in the url dont contain any DOXING information about me

anyway the lesson learned is always try damn pants on in the dressing room.

oh good god is that jonathan banks “mike” from breaking bad, as a much younger man in thsi 1990 tv show “wiseguy”? it looks like a much younger version of him, with hair.  oh god it IS. good eye on me.

its just weird watching people get older. like i see a movie like “badlands” where martin sheen is like 20 years old and quite handsome, and now hes like 75 years old now. literally an old senior geriatric man.

we all look handsome and secsy and qt when we are young. then we get old and sad and ugly and dull.

like i was pretty GOOD looking when i was young. i could have pulled a qt if i wasnt so fooked up. now i am trying to get my act together, but i am nowhere near as good looking as i used to be. but at least i am about the same weight. and cant find clothes that fit hahaha.

that woman didnt care that i did not have a great Fashion Sense! she didnt have a great fashion sense either! where fashion means spending thousands of dollars to look like a wh0re. she probably shopped at walmart too hahahaha. she didnt care that the other wimmin thought she was uncool for shopping at walmart. she never wore super tight or revealing clothes.

heh. maybe she did when i didnt see her, when she was being social with men she fancied.

who cares.  think of something else. be mindful of the present moment hehe. REFOCUS hehehe. deep breathing. radical acceptance. its over. it is what it is. GOD grant me the SERENITY NOW hahahaha.

i am just kinda disappointed that those pants at walmart just did not fit or feel or look right at all.

i guess i should be happy that i didnt just buy “my size” without trying them on!

also there were great SHOES at walmart. tons of great, cheap SHOES. like plain black shoes that I was looking for like for wearing at a job. just plain black semi-professional looking shoes but that would also be comfortable for people walking around all day. like people that work in walmarts or restaurants. people who need plain black shoes they can wear to Work and that can give their feet and legs and back good support over 10+ hours of running around slaving.

walmart. my kind of store. i did not even see what other stuff was in there, like a bank or post office or what. ok there was a shitty portrait studio, might be closed, and defeinitely a subway. maybe a bank.

way to get all autistic about WALMART. maybe i should WORK there if I LUV it so much! hahahaha.

i GUARANTEE you i could get some MJ from the blacks who work there!

most shoes at walmart dont come in boxes. that seems kinda weird. i wonder if this is how they do their EVERY DAY LOW PRICES (R) .

i am just a big fan of the wrangler brand, always have been, so i am disappointed when a pair of wrangler pants does not totally deliver, like with those disappointing stiff, weird fitting gray khakis today. also glad i did not buy them before trying them on.

walmart. so exciting.

I should have gotten one of the smart people I worked with at previous job to write me a letter of recommendation, not necess my manager, although that would have been a good idea too, but just anyone smart i was friendly with, and they could PRETEND to be a Senior Level, and just talk about how good i am. but yeah  i didnt. was too filled with panic.

yeah that art of manlieness article on fragile vs antifragile. i am very fragile and hate it, would like to be antifragile.

FRAGILE. hmm must be italian hahahahaha.

fragile = WEAK. BAD. LOSER. HORRIBLE.

was listening to this new 2016 Saor album and I think it might have An It Factor, just Goosebumps, spine chilling, Dat Feel sort of stuff. or its really good at simulating that kind of Feely AtmoBlack hahaha.

well, I have always been wanting to hear some kind of Atmospheric Black Metal that embodies The Scottish Soul, and Saor/this guy Marshall seems to be it.

its just a matter of time before we get young black metal guys who are explicitly Alt-Right.

not saying Saor is, in fact, he’s MORE likely to be an antiracist shitlib degenerate. with his shitty disgusting phaggy degen ear gauges!

BUTTTTTT I find it hard to believe a person can create Atmospheric Black Metal with this kind of NATIONALISTIC feeling, and not be somehow open to the idea that Nation Matters, Blood and Soil matters.

But he’s not “nationalistic”, im sure he would say thats horrible, he just appreciates scotland and scottish history and culture.  well thats good enough for me. and it would be enough for joos to call him racist and nationalist. so i just say embrace it whole hog buddy. laddie. BECOME WHO YOU ARE hahahaha.

of course a band like moonsorrow ALSO does epic, heathen, pagan, fairly “atmospheric” stuff, and theyve been accused of being racist nationalists, and then they were like oh no no no no we hate racists!

i want somebody to say yeah i AM a racist, or at least i AM alt right and nationalistic. so you get a band who’s not afraid to be “nationalistic” like for example vapaudenristi, drudkh, or peste noire, uhhh yeah i think they might possibly be open to the ideas of alt right. but i kinda want to see a YOUNG alt right group that is JUST forming. each of these bands are really kinda old. have been active years before there was any kind of alt right. and alt right is really YOUNG.

well so is this saor guy, he’s “only” 28 years old. younger than me hahahahaha.

not saying hes alt right. i would just really like a band that sounds like that AND is openly alt right. i would do it myself if i could write good music!!!!!

right now the most openly alt right kind of music is this vaporwave with the really 80s aesthetic, which looks promising, but i havent listened to much of it, and i prob SHOULD. there is this musician grayfield stray which talks to TRS, or this paddy tarleton guy as well. we need more alt right MUSICIANS in other words, making honestly GOOD music. but good music is HARD to make. bad music is EASY to make.

like that “it factor” you feel when you hear actually good music, or that strange feeling you feel with a special woman that you dont feel with just any body. THATS the kind of it factor you need to show in interviews to get a 25k a year job hahahahahaha.  you need to be something SPECIAL.

you need to be SUPER SPECIAL just to be an aveage 25k NORMIE. whats wrong with THAT logic?

anyway i looked at saors facebook and he seems like a good goy and took those stupid things out of his ears and is really a very handsome man who probably has a GF and he clearly luvs spending time in the beautiful nature, really quite jelly of that.

i know he sees that and he luvs it deep in the marrow of his bones, and something he cant explain, is very happy to be a Scotsman! Thats the type of stuff that we in the alt right are ALL ABOUT.

but what about us amerifats? i mean i feel a deep nostalgic connection to certain locations where i grew up, lived near, etc, that have NOTHING TO DO with the Land Of Muh Blood, which would be largely in poland somewhere. but I would luv to go there and visit that land to, and have no doubt i could establish a connection to it!

i guess he lives in glasgow? and he is pro scottish independence. what is he gonna say when glasgow gets overrun with mudslims and nonwhites?  im sure theyre already there, but im also sure its nowhere near as bad as london.

yeah i would go see that show. and he used to play shows. i think he said something like he was gonna stop cuz its too big of a pain. come on. play one show a year in the fookin highlands or some shit hahaha.

ok yeah hes YOUNG but hes been very PROLIFIC, doing shit for like the past 10 years as well, since he was SUPER young, having many other projects other than saor.

GOOD FOR HIM. GOOD GOY. have some HUHWHYTE children.

use a TAPE MEASURE to actually measure your waist, legs, chest, and neck, and write those on a small card that you can put in your wallet or Money Clip or just bring with you when you need to buy clothes. measure your waist at your Belly Button, and measure your legs from the bottom of your Dangling Nuts, down to where you want the bottom of the pants to be. for chest, measure at the widest part of your chest, probably around the Nips hahahaha.

and you can redo those whenever you lose or gain weight, really just before you go out to buy clothes.

the main thing for me is not having that kind of tape measure, but i am sure i could buy one at walmart for 2 bucks hahaha.

why doesnt trvmp pick ANN COULTER for some sort of job. she would be great. shes probably the best woman out there. if he needs a woman somewhere in there he should pick ann coulter. just wanted to make it clear that i dont hate all women, i like ann coulter.

2016-11-30-19_40_13-2016-11-30-19_38_53-cardamom-1-0-02_0-04-no-limit-holdem-replay-13404437

hehehehe i win such big potz when i get quads hahahahaha

annoying muslim phd professor b1tch wearing hijab and kvetching about islamophobia and the terrorism of white supremacists hahahaha hahaha

oh yeah i got those ridiculous winter boots at walmart…..ok i already discussed that. i mean i dont know why that makes me so happy hahaha but i will take it.

am i spending money in a bipolar, manic impulsive way? i mean i have been spending a lot of money lately.

i mean i am privileged to have savings to spend. normies dont have this. in fact its this savings which has enabled me to become a damn FRAGILE NEET NEVERGF LOSER.

shitlibs always use the word “FOLKS”. black folks, white folks, muslim folks, it sounds stupid hahahaha.

maybe i wont bring the coffee on the first day because they might be anti coffee. that would be pretty gay tho.

heh. watching bill o reilly and he just showed 10 seconds of richard spencer and npi and oreilly called them wacko white supremacists that are just like louis farakhan, idiots saying hitler stuff, of course showed the part where the audience was roman saluting, and oreilly was like these nutty white power racist extremists.

i mean did i really expect msm to treat spencer any differently? no not really hahaha. i just sorta like seeing spencer on msm news. and im sure he does too. but its the wrong damn message! hes getting LIED ABOUT! slandered! libeled!

plus this isnt gonna convert anyone. the fox news watchers will just forget about spencer, or they will believe hes a natzi.

the people who are interested in this stuff ARE GONNA FIND IT. they know how to use the god damn INTERNET hahahaha. im not sure we need to recruit anyone. well, except for rich powerful and or successful people. just like big winners in life. turn THEM from shitlib to alt right. turn them from libertardian or basic bitch fox news conservative to alt right.

wow this fruit of the loom 5 dollar black fleece sweater is very nice hahaha.

dec 1

heh. when it comes to thanksgiving dinners and huge political divides within families and friends, its always the shitlib hillary voters that are all butthurt little crybabies about it. but thats because they LOST. so they are justified in being angry? justified in closing the door on their family? because you cant be in the same family as a bunch of RACIST, SEXIST, HATEFUL WHITE MALES WHO OPPRESS THE WORLD?

thats what it boils down to. it’s amazing that we’ve come to the point where people cant even think of saying, yeah, i admit it, i’m kinda racist, AND THATS NOT A BAD THING.

instead, its THE WORST THING IMAGINABLE. if you are a racist, then you are LITERALLY HITLER because HITLER and the NOTSEES are racist. therefore dapper richard spencer is a nazi, trvmp is a nazi, all trvmp voters are nazis, and you should block them out of your family. and say omg i cant believe my uncle/cousin whatever is a trvmp support racist. TYPICAL WHITE MALE, insecurity and fear. well, at least they’ll be in the minority in 50 years, and the next generations will have it better once this Nazi Race disappears. this is literally what many WHITES think!!!!!

and thats what made me an alt right pro white basically white nationalist hahahaha. i could NOT support people who implicitly supported the disappearance of muh race. whatever you want to call that disappearance. genocide? certainly a gradual, generational death. extinction, extinguishment, snuffing.

no its NOT natural selection because how can you believe whites are not fit enough to SURVIVE?

http://www.metalstorm.net/pub/interview.php?interview_id=745

decent saor interview

http://paganstorm.altervista.org/pagan-storm-intervista-saor/

another one

there are some boring worthless interviews out there too

there should be interviews with people making 25k a year on how they became such an extraordinary person who acheived this extraordinary achievement. or getting a gf hahaha. there should be zines and youtubes and stuff about that. oh yeah theres plenty of pick up artist stuff out there for wannabe negros who want to bang sluts, but not a lot on How To Stop Being A Neet, and how to Start Being a Normie nonneet nonnevergf evergf.

That’s where I come it. That’s my value add. That’s WHY YOU NEED ME hahahaha. pay me. 25k a year. 12.50 an hour. i’d be happy to resolve your issue. serve you. add value.

interview normies on how to become a normie hahaha.

get haircut tomorrow, kinda looking forward to that.

terrible about studying my shit for start of job. not really sure how to study. how do you study something you cant see. i need to SEE shit visually. well thats my WEAKNESS and FRAGILITY and why i am a neet who is so hard to find a job. because i cant just talk to a person on the phone, have them describe something ive never encountered or seen or used, and then fix it for them without ever seeing it, without ever have seeing it in the past. look for this part. where? well, its somewhere in there. look on all sides of the thing. what am i looking for? not sure what it looks like. tell me what you do see. welp lets try them all then, i think these 3 things might be the part were looking for. i uhhh havent done this in a year so i cant remember what the part looks like, and theres no documentation of it, and i cant ask anyone for help, and theres nothing on the internet because its an in house thing, and theres nothing on our in house intranet.

nobody told me the real normie world would be like that! it is like a NEVERENDING final exam filled with trick questions, long story problems, and essay questions, where you get bitched at every time you get 1% wrong, and you dont have anywhere to turn to for help except a book that reads like it was written by chinese joos! and people bitch at you for being dumb because you cant make sense out of it. all day every day. 50 hours a week. the weirdest most unexpected shit happening, feel like your brain is going to explode at all times.

then YOU explode and start punching people in the face, grabbing b1tches by the pvssy, shouting n1993r n199er n1993r and get fired hahaha.

chill out with the ff piano collections.

dream and yearn for the day you might find an MJ connection hahahahaha and 420 blaze it ph4ggot once again.

ff10 music is prob best imo hahahaha

no its just the one im most familiar with.

holy shit that is so relaxing. listen to this shit and chill the fook out. sm0ke mj if you got it. i dont care if its nonwhite. japanese are only acceptable nonwhites. also this shit is very white inspired. this is japanese paying homage to whites. YOUR WELCOME.

is it paranoid of me to think that when someone says “welcome” instead of “youre welcome” in like a Work Chat, esp with you asking them for help, that that means they think youre stupid and you are wasting their precious time with your stupid questions? so they show that by not even taking the time to fully say YOURE welcome?

or am i paranoid and overanalyzing shit again?

when i used to get overwhelmed and confused at the complex shit at my job…..suddenly i lost my ability to understand even SIMPLE things. i would get confused by SIMPLE things that I used to understand. lost ability to understand all nuance. i needed EVERYTHING explained like I was 5. this sucks.

like explain to me the difference between scots and irish hahaha. besides the obvious “answer” that one comes from scotland and one comes from ireland. well what about scots irish? ulster scots? the picts? the gaels? the scots language? the gaelic language? viking/scand influence?

explain all THAT shit to me like im 5 hahaha.

the gig economy. it has NO positives. NONE. it simply means you cant go to one job for 40 hours a week and make a living that way. you have to cobble together 100 different freelance jobs with no schedule or predictability just so you can make 25k a year. you have less time for yourself and your family and your race. and your god hahaha. and your CHILDREN.

its just like these sharing services are not good at all. it simply means a normie person cant AFFORD a car or a bike or a tiny apartment.  or anything. you just rent EVERYTHING and never own it. because ownership is what white male oppressor capitalist nazis do, maannnnnnnn. its BAD to own shit. its SLAVERY. yeah well so is making so little money you have to rent your damn clothes hahahaha.

im renting this 12 dollar poplin shirt from walmart. im renting my SHOES from walmart for 2 dollars a month hahaha.

i mean yeah with CARS, i hate CARS, and if you could get away with not needing to use a car, fine. but you need a car to drive to your job 6 days a week and then Chores on the 7th. renting a car would be more expensive than owning a car.

i mean thats how these shitlibs, whites included, view the White Race: WHITES = NAZIS. Similar to how people hated the Germans after ww2, and now germans are cucky and pathetic and opening the door to their extinction. same thing is happening with whites in general. oh whites did the holocaust. whites did slavery. whites did all this imperial colonialism shit. whites do sweatshops in china. whites start all the wars in the world. whites are nazis. whites are oppressors. whites NEED to step down, whites NEED to be stopped. im white and i acknowledge whites need to be stopped.

that is the Root Belief these people believe, and I couldnt disagree with it more, which is mainly why I became a White Nationalist hahahahahaha.

You know, I might even allow a maximum of 10% nonwhites in my White Nation! the most talented, useful, productive, peaceful, best of nonwhites, and they would have to Assimilate fully into white culture. and breed with each other only, not whites.

then what about the kids. i mean one day some white slut is inevitably gonna have a brown baby.

well i guess as long as the percentage is kept to no higher than 10%, it shouldnt really be a problem.

how about 5% hahahaha.

we can keep the joos out altogether because they are the most antiwhite race there ever was or will be.

joos are the real fooking cancer on the human race, not whites.

its not really a culture of critique as much as it is a culture of subversion, poisoning, and destruction. a cancer culture.

they are by far my least favorite race and i still dont HATE them in the way shitlibs say racists HATE people. i will never personally encourage violence against joos. i just would like them out of my country, in my ideal world.

individually i can talk to and get along with joos. but as a whole, they gotta go. hey they can have a nice life in israel. its like a fooking resort country. very high quality of life in israel. great health care, total first world country. good jobs, good gun laws, hahahaha. just go to fooking israel. PLEASE. and fook these dual citizenship joos. go to israel and STAY there.

because DA JOOZ are the reason i cant get a woman or a job. they have turned all women into disgusting cvm guzzling wh0res. hahahaha.

well, they HAVE encouraged promiscuity and degeneracy and casual sex and pornography and sexualization of everything!