THE NEET CURE

dec 26 2016

welp the wholesome part of the holidays is over, now everyone is just gonna get drunk and fook like negros until they have to go back to Work on January 2 hahahahahahah.  and those are the lucky privileged people. More people will just continue to work as they do every other day. maybe struggle with drug and alcohol problems so they can keep their shitty jobs which make them work during the busiest time of the holidays, serving shitty customers. its enough to make a person want to abuse drugs and alcohol!

i think california getting legal MJ is a big deal, i mean its kinda surprising they didnt have it until now. maybe they needed smaller states like CO, WA, and OR to act as a pilot program before CA really threw open the gates.

i mean its possibly a bad thing, leading to an even more degenerate society. but one day it will make it 600000000000000000000 times easier for ME to obtain it. me me me me me. fook the greater good.

i think it should be legal, but SHAMED. i said earlier this might be impossible, but is it really? look at cigarettes and tobacco for example. those have been shamed pretty well. or have they? has that really worked in getting people to choose to buy/smoke less cigarettes? probably a little bit, and thats all that matters.

should you tax the shit out of MJ then? well, in that it might be an incentive for govt to legalize it, yes, but I have no faith that the tax money would be used for ANYTHING good. it would ALL be wasted on bullshit. i understand that. im just looking at the tax as purely an incentive for The Gummint to Legalize It.

and against i dont see this as some big crusade for justice, because it is a mixed bag. i’m not sure it…..well it probably SHOULD be legalized, but shamed as fook. shamed even more than cigarettes. which are currently more shamed than alcohol or porn.

but you can still get tobacco EVERYWHERE, and you have plenty of tobacco shops which themselves are not sleazy. well not all of them hahahaha.

i guess i would also take, instead of full legalization, then the state expanding its Qualifying Conditions for MMJ to Despair or Anxiety, hehehehe.

there already IS a NEET CURE, it’s called the MILITARY, thats ALWAYS been the NEET CURE. but I think this aspect has been played down in the past 20 years, and the military is pretending like they are moar selective, and they dont necessarily WANT neet losers. but they will prob take neet losers. provided you’re not too fat and provided you never took psych meds like prozac or paxil or citalopram hahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha.

george michael, dead of “heart failure.” well thanks that explains a lot hahahahahaha. i could have told you that. i guess thats better than cancer tho! but was it heart failure from, for EXAMPLE, mixing coke and pills and booze and painkillers and heroin and meth? that will cause heart failure for sure hahahaha. probably some MJ in there too hahahaha.

just waiting for another 20 bucks of bitcoin to transfer into coinbase so i could hopefully sell it at 901. because i have to move everything back and forth from coinbase, because they are jooish and watch exactly where you send your money, meaning no gambling and i would assume no Darknet Markets hahahahahahahahahaha. they scolded me for sending it to gambling. i have NO IDEA how they found out. considering I thought the gambling site used separate wallets for each gambler!

over 1 hour and 0 confirmations. didn’t even modify the fee.  this is why bitcoin will never take off. good idea though. just need something with FAST confirmations and ideally some way to send messages with the money. like hey guy this money is from UFMLL. remember me because i’d like you to know i donate money to you every 3 months. i am a true blue cobber m8. you can count on me. im not some kind of hypergamous mercenary who’s gonna leave you in the lurch. i am a MAN OF HONOR(tm) (great phrase from Chapin book MGHOW). wihtout having you have to make notes and search weird addresses jsut to try to identify somebody, and what if it changes your address every time? or you having to send a email before you send every transaction is probably the easiest way to identify yourself. still not very practical IMHO.

you know i am very optimistic about our young kids with 1488 blood pumping thru their veins. they dont even have the DESIRE to take MJ. I feel the desire EVERY DAY. I know it’s wrong but I think I can GET AWAY with it. I think the rules dont apply to me. I think I can just keep it in the closet and be an exception. but really I am envious of those who dont even WANT it. i wish I didn’t WANT it. but shit do I ever.

went for 1.4 mile powerwalk, not bad.

so anyway, i should NOT become an outspoken activist for the legalization of MJ, because its degenerative for huhwhyte society.

ok so whats the best military route for white neets? i honestly cant say. some say we want our white warriors on the frontlines. i would say study something hard and technical where only white men pass the exam, and get yourself into a safe all white male unit doing technical shit.

heh havent been to this horrible site in a while but this guy was dumped, was just devastated. people give him decent advice that WHY never helps, never gives closure. but its also very hard not to ask why. because youre willing to do anything to fix it, to make them change their mind. but they just wont. that never works. just let them go. fook yes its hard as SHIT. will make you want to sm0ke MJ for the next 2 years hahahaha.

hehehehe

why dont any gurls want a second date with me? im not a racist hater, i don’t like that racist trump! i dont have any wrongthink! why arent women interested in me at all?

yet the same gurls who are rejecting him are probably getting fooked by ebil trump voting racists hahahaha.

dec 27

heh. now i remember why i stopped reading /relships. because it is a woman-dominated space, and these women are annoying and stupid af. but they think they are SO smart, about relships, about men and women, but they know nothing. about men, abotu women, OR about relships. that is why they are high number crazy carousel riding catladies who cant keep a man hahahahaha. so how do they make 60k a year at their high powered careers then? AND have time to read and poast on reddit?

but yeah obviously this guy needs to Explicitly Ask for a Second Date on Saturday at 7pm and he would have more success. getting a second date at least hahahahaha.

but i mean yeah a bitch being texting on her phone the whole time during your date implies they are not interested. i mean its rude. but they just dont KNOW any better. at age 25 they dont know this is rude. and you’re THIRSTY and DESPERATE enough that you still WANT a second date with a RUDE woman who texts and sexts during the whole first date and is too stupid to even KNOW that’s rude.

ARrrrrgh this makes no sense! Who can I ask for clarification here? who’s the SME for this Subject Area?………..you mean I’M THE SME? IM THE EXPERT? BBBBBUT I have no idea how this works! I need an SME to help ME! I can assure you, I am absolutely no EXPERT in this! I know MUCH less than the USERS!!!!!!! why can’t we appoint one of them an sme?

welp, you better learn it fast, because it looks like you are the SME.

i can’t believe this is how things actually really work with large, successful businesses.

well, my business was in a Failure Phase tho. and if they dont pull out of it, they will end up selling the company.

you can sell a publicly traded company btw. prob need to cash out all the stock though. or maybe you can get out of that with bankruptcy. leave your stockholders in the lurch hehehehe. who knows. im no JQ bankruptcy attorney. though you can make good money in that career.

but it takes a certain TYPE to be a LAWYER. there are a few good huhwhyte lawyers like toilet law and this other guy. but i bet they are in the minority.

benedryl sleep last night, had dream featuring 2 female friends i had in muh crazy uni days. i was with one female friend reviewing a video of myself and the second female friend, and i was like, wow, its plain as day, look at her body language, she clearly wants the D, but its so weird I didn’t notice that at the moment, and had to see a video playback. hmmm. maybe I SHOULD give her the D. interesting idea.  I mean its really not a HORRIBLE idea. yeah i’m hung up on this other gurl, but some casual fook buddy secs might be good. and if its not, at least we can say we tried. lets give it a try.

and of course this never happened in real life. IRL I WAS too hung up on this “angel” i was in luv with, that I didnt’ even want anyone else, and I was even making female friends at the time who were arguably attractive women (21, 22 year old women! I should think so!!!!!) but I honestly had no interest in them in that way. but maybe i should have pushed myself towards being Casual Fook Buddy with at least one of them hahahahaha. how would that have played out? I will never know.

but this dream got me thinking. maybe that could have worked. me, doing a degen casual secs, fook buddy, FWB thing. whoda thunk it.

but yeah i put these other luv interests on such a pedestal, that i couldnt even THINK of other women.

i guess it was similar when i first met That Woman. I was still heartbroken over women2012 and couldnt even THINK of being with another woman.

And its ok to feel that way hahahahahahah. my feelings were valid. i don’t really REGRET not trying to bang that female friend hahahaha.

its so weird looking back on it. she was not just a leftist, but a leftist activist, and she was kinda a SLUT, she had told me about times she “HOOKED UP” with guys drunk at a party, i think she even said she had fooked a BLACK guy, and I knew she was a “little bit” crazy, (in hindsight I think very likely bipolar), but i also accepted her for who she was, and didn’t really judge her too harshly. we got along well and never really any tension. i kind of felt PITY for her having these meaningless relships. she was “dating” this guy tho and it was a CLUSTERFOOK. she wasnt happy and he wasnt happy and I just couldnt tell WHAT was going on. i still dont know.

anyway she went on to be a successful lawyer (hahahahahaha) and somewhere in there found a decent man, but I dont think that lasted, and she had some legit family tragedy, and I think went crazy and possibly had a breakdown, and did a complete career change and is doing pretty good with that. much better career than me hahahaha.  i mean she was always ambitious and a hard worker. is not gonna get lazy and slothful and despairing and neetish. but its the bipolar which will be a real risk for her. anyway i wish her well, she’s not a bad person.

so interesting. i can know a lot of shady details about a womans shady past and NOT be judgmental, say she’s NOT a bad person. when you would THINK I would judge her SAVAGELY. NOPE. it’s DIFFERENT when I actually know a person in real life. i give them the benefit of the doubt.

but yeah i was never in luv with her. but several people wondered if we had something going on. we did not hahaha. i was not really interested. but in hindsight, she was not unattractive, and it probably would have been good to try to get some Experience with her. while of course Respecting her decision if she didn’t want to hahahahaha. but she used to get REALLY ridiculous when drinking, even moreso than me. I would just fall down drunk. she would actively do crazy shit. including probably fook guys. black guys hahahahahahaha.

i actually met her father! he seemed like a good guy, was very successful, good father daughter relship, but pretty sure he was bipolar too. which became a problem for the whole family.  but yeah i think this is better than the alternative of an abusive or deadbeat father. he was successful and his children were successful even if his marriage failed.

but just making the point that she didnt become a crazy slut because she had a terrible father.  i think her father was pretty GOOD…..he was just legit CRAZY. she was too. but they both managed it pretty well. until they didnt. well, she’s doing allright. but he isn’t. it’s SAD!!!!!!!!!

so yeah. good people can be totally sidelined by Mental Illness. I totally believe it. I get it. I understand.

so yeah i wish her well, hopeyouredoingwell.wav, and that she safeguards herself against the bipolar condition. imho getting out of LAW was a good move. she can find other Careers to make Good Money. everyone I went to Uni with seems to have no problem makign good money! with me being the lone exception of course hahahaha.

selling the last of my bitcoin. huge. rally. to the moon. very bullish. sold at 890 yesterday, sell the last of muh btc at like 930ish today. and if it goes higher, OH WELL, im all tapped out.

ok sold it. done. no more bitcoin left. except 1 dollar in a btcjam account from deadbeats slowing paying me back on microloans. us citizens are now barred from loaning any more. oh well. it wasnt a great system for me anyway hahahaha. good riddance.

hehehhehehe this is starting right now. i would have shit my pants over this a few years ago. its a good move for roosh to move towards more serious men like uncle bern.  but both seem naive for just not reading the writing on the wall already. JQ. Race. WN. move past MGTOW shit. find a traditional woman. roosh go back to persia and stop ruining white women.

hehehe roosh really looks like a mudslim isis terrorist with that huge beard. i guess im glad he got TIRED of banging white sluts and realized there was more to life than MUH DICK.

with my superior white mind, i came to that conclusion and didnt even have to bang ANY white sluts!

and yeah i kinda envy him for having success with my race’s women where I have had NONE. literally. all the women i have had any success with have been nonwhite joos hahahahahahahahaha.  even white trash fatherless sluts reject me in favor of blacks and criminal toughguys.

well good riddance, i will go be a mgtow and get a damn realdoll HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA jk.

heh maybe bernard will become a WN in a few years. everybody moves at their own pace hehehehe. you cant really RUSH people.

ideally roosh would just marry a persian woman, have persian children, and repent for his past degeneracy, and encourage Racial, Noncivic Nationalism. encourage all his white male fans to become WN’s. Roosh is not a dumb guy. and he is gradually moving in the right direction.

but there are so many white omegas out there who can only think about women women women women women women women. i used to be one of them hahahahahaha. i STILL think about women ALL THE DAMN TIME. but now i keep Sex in its proper perspective – subordinate to RACE. whereas these mens movement people would disagree with that totally. and say race doesnt matter nearly as much as sex.

yeah sex does matter a lot. but race matters more.

just dump him and replace him with a better man! that is the answer to all womens relship problems. we men mean NOTHING to women. they are the REAL haters hahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahaha. women hate men WAYYYYYYYYYYYY more than men hate women. women MEAN a lot to men. Men mean NOTHING to women. hahahahahaha. ok thats an example of the type of thoughts i don’t want to have, and ideally would refute them with a convincing rebuttal.

Have you ever had Anal Sex with a man you knew for less than 2 weeks? less than 1 week? how many men?

in the questions to ask your prospective wife hahahahaha. ideally you should not know these men less than a year. buttsecs is a BIG DEAL and should not be given out willy nilly. yet these beautiful white 22 year old gurls are quickly becoming ANAL WHORES!!!!!! BUTT SLUTS!!!!!!!!

would you want your DAUGHTER becoming that?

or do you just not care, all you care about is muh dick and muh drugs and muh alcohol? like a negro!!!!!!

just call them white n199er5.wav hahahahahaha

yet my female friend from 11+ years ago did all sorts of DISGUSTING things, and I dont hate her for it!

i wasnt in luv with her though!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

could I have been? maybe. anythings possible. but i knew all those unsavory things about her already, learned them pretty quickly, whereas That Woman didnt have any of those Disqualifiers.

and i STILL trust that That Woman wasnt HIDING anything. she was a trustworthy person. which made losing her very hard! and she still is trustworthy! she was and is a decent, valuable, good person! its really hard to lose that! it’s a lot easier to lose a total piece of shit!

anyway.  its all over. its finished. RIP.

but yeah. i am thankful for the few female friends i have had, i continue to learn from them 11 years later hahahaha. so yeah i hope that woman is doing well. that she finds a good man. although she would be hard to deal with. i dont think i’d want to. heck its possible she became a lesbian hahaha. but i dont think so.  but yeah she did disgusting things and i dont think any less of her as a person.

but yeah i didnt want to Be With Her and make babies with her and make her my waifu. at all hahahaha. whatsoever. i would have laughed at the thought. there was not that kind of Romantic Luv. I guess it could have developed. but now we are talking hypotheticals.

i mean what if she werent dating that guy? what if she was more “gf-ish” and sweet to me?  i mean she was nice to me but in that just one of the guys sort of way. and since i wasnt looking for any more from her, i didnt mind at all.

but yeah, bottom line, she was a good person and deserves good things and good people, but she was a little bipolar, but that shouldnt count against her. she could still be a good white wife and mother (and i hope she does!), provided she didnt screw it up.

she was weird though. she might not even WANT kids. she strikes me as possibly being one of those Weird Women that just has no desire to have children.

anyway my final word on her is that she is a good person and i hope she is doing well.

looked at hookers on backpage. technically that is not the same as looking at pron. i found at least two white hookers that caught my interest. 90% of the women were disgusting blaq hookers hehehehehe. not that the white ones are not white trash, but my god, i cant even imagine the type of man who would PAY these blaq women in the pictures, i mean they often looked fat and horrible.

funny that the majority of the white hookers BLATANTLY said no black men. so they are race aware and have a preference against black men, where Regular White Nonhooker Women do NOT! they are equal opportunity Cvm Bvckets!

well, as hookers, these women see the absolutely shadiest men right? so they probably saw tons of shady ghetto thug black men, not  talented tenth black men hahahaha. and arent the WHITE men they see shadier than the average white man? what kind of man uses hookers anyway?

Basically every man I know has been to a strip club. no big deal there. I heard of one guy who got drunk once and somehow a stripper offered to Suck His D for a price and he said ok sure i’ll pay 80 bucks for that! i dont think he found that all too horrible but it also wasnt the type of thing he did normally.

when i was in Uni a hedonist, sensualist acquaintance of mine talked about banging a hooker in amsterdam. this guy was a free luv kinda hippie type and very handsome, didn’t really NEED to bang hookers. i think he was just a sex freak and just honestly wanted to bang a hooker because it WASNT a normal nonhooker.

I heard about a middle aged alcoholic who would occasionally bang hookers. this kinda made the most sense. he was like 50 something, didnt want to waste time chatting with women, he had money from a business he miraculously ran, and he spent his money on booze and hookers. fantastic. TERRIFIC hahahaha.

i’ve known men who regularly go to strip clubs and it is PATHETIC. I have no desire to go to a strip club ever again. I would MUCH rather just hire a hooker for 30 minutes. strip clubs are just disgusting jooish places.

and yeah obviously i would rather be In A Rel with That Woman than ever go to a hooker. Still not over her! it will take about 2 years. but i am closer than i’ve ever been to getting over her. really all it will take now is meeting The Next Woman. I need to MEET WOMEN. and if that means going on fookin ok cupid, then thats what i have to do.

yep that FUATH – I album is really good. very listenable. dont even CARE if its a drum machine. album of the month hahahaha. dec 2016.

also looked on craigslist and backpage for “420” or “medical cannabis” or that type of thing. found some stuff, looked shady and or they blatantly said, you gotta have your card. which i’m sure they HAVE To say!!!!!!!

https://twitter.com/belledejour_uk/with_replies?lang=en

oh god heres a terrible woman. “sex worker” who got a phd in biology or some shit and is horribly sex positive and some of the trs goys are bullying her. GOOD! she is a monster. and jooish hahahahaha. OF COURSHE.

these women with phds in casual sex. fooking like negros. that is literally what their phd is in. then they make 600000000000000 tweets a day about how good casual sex is. ABSOLUTELY DISGUSTING.

 

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HOW DO YOU EAT A SH1T ELEPHANT

aim for 5-6000 words hahahaha

oct 15

yeah i really need to do more STRENUOUS exercise like running and also lifting. at LEAST do MOAR pushups.

had some terrible experience with the qualcomm atheros ar986x or whatever wireless adapter, at least i THINK the prob is there, and not with windows 10, or both, i mean i want a permanent fix here.

https://www.qualcomm.com/drivers

hahahahahahahahaha qualcomm does not offer drivers to users, you have to go to the OEM

anyway i tried installing what turned out to be an “unofficial” qualcomm driver, couldnt figure it out….i dont think? and then eventually ROLLED BACK to a previous driver which paradoxically had a higher number, but that might not mean what i think it means, and since one does not simply get clear explanations with ANYTHING tech related, i just accepted the god damn “fix”.

i should have just accepted that when you work in tech support, one does not simply explain things. you can either explain shit or FIX it, and it takes 10000000000000000000000000000000000000 times longer to explain it. its actually NORMAL for there to be no explanations, because it COST 9999999999999999999999999999 times more to explain shit than to fix it.

well that begs the question……….how do you FIX something if you dont fully understand it?

well, you just do Root Cause and fix the root cause and see if the problem stops. you dont necessarily know how things got from root cause to broken.

and i dont know how to root cause because level 1 doesnt do that.

heh. probably the level 2 and 3s who DO do root cause havent been trained on it EITHER. dont know the best practices of root causing. just trial and error. throw spaghetti at the wall. same as level 1 does. just CALL it root cause and wait to be proven wrong.

people posting job postings talking about HIPAA should KNOW its spelled HIPAA NOT HIPPA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

managed to apply to three jobs today. again used the card game as my safeguard or buffer, my way of “holding my nose” and just doing it. music is another way of doing this.

had card game going on right side of screen, had browser open in top left, and then word document or spreadsheet in lower left. really need 2 monitors for this type of thing.  sheeeeit ill pay for my own monitor. and then donate it to the company. liek when i bought a new coffee machine at my old job and left it there when i left.

oh the one place is a hot shit accounting firm and they want Top Talent so they wont look at muh clunky cover letter.  be like motherfooker i went to top skool hahahahahaha.

hey i think i do a pretty good job during interviews covering up the fact that i have crippling, debilitating anxiety hahahaha, and just come across as having a normie level of nervousness.  and at muh last job i lasted a full year despite it taking a huge toll on me. i SURVIVED and WITHSTOOD. so just give me a damn CHANCE and HIRE me already.

i mean i was not healthy but i survived the anxiety a lot longer that you or me would THINK, i never ACTUALLY ran out of there crying and panicking, and i would have lasted a bit longer if SHE hadnt been there, and if i had smoked more MJ hehehehe.

but if she HADNT been there, would i have been able to survive the first few months?

i just cant say. she DID give me some moral support at that time, but I think that even more important was the technical support I got from the more experienced people around me. when i was panicking and didnt know what to do, they could sometimes help me out a little.

heh i have literally not lost any weight in 2 weeks. i have stayed 135.6 pounds for the past 2 weeks. yeah thats just fine but i want to get to 130. when you are a 5’7″ manlet, that is not as ridic as it sounds.

heh. i shouldnt have sent her 3 emails. 3 fookin long emails. at the most i should have sent her 1 short email saying dont dump me like this, ill pay for a shrink who can help you dump me in a nicer way, tell me our relship meant something and that i am not a piece of garbage and that you wish me well, i wish you well, thanks for the memories, the end.

ok i tech qualify for gs 07 govt paygrade, which starts at 31k. that is like 15.50 an hour. i qual bc i have “superior academic achievement” of over 3.0 GPA hahahaha.

so this is kinda good, it tells me FEDGOV thinks i am worth 31k a year bitches.

and if i didnt have superior acad ach, i would be GS06, which starts at 28k, which is 14 an hour, which is like average for all americans, which is GREAT.

and then 13 an hour was average for my state, so then i went down to that.

and then i said ok ill debase myself to 12 an hour because i have a long gap but not a dollar lower! even negros wont work for less than 12 an hour!

i was briefly watching this ridicul 1997 movie on BET called “higher learning”. it was quaint and stupid. omar epps from house played a young college black, being mentored in Radical Marxist Black Panthers by ice cube. none of the college kids talked like supergenius phd swpl marxists they way they do now, they sound like even bigger idiots. their poison rhetoric has gotten a lot more sophisticated in the past 19 years hehehehe.

there was a group of 1488 neo nazi skinheads with michael rapaport and cole hauser? from dazed and confused. hello sirs may you tell me more about getting a GS06 job with the FEDGOV hahahahaha. do you work for the FBI or the CIA.

and then laurence fishburne playing a Distinguished Professor with a jamaican accent hahahahahaha.

i reminded me of how things were simpler and more innocent in the 90s hahahaha. and that these college kids were just NEWBS in this SJW stuff.

not that the 90s werent nihilistic and degenerate with their marilyn manson and such hehehehe.

so michael rapaport shows hes hard enough to K a black, by shooting tyra banks. like K’ing tyra banks (omar epps gurlfran) is gonna win the RACE WAR which they also mentioned. were in a race war brothers!

if he wanted to do some real damage, he would have K’d the J’ish Marxist professors in humanities and social “sciences”, and skool diversity officers and admins.

but noooooooooooo just shoot blacks. so stupid.

managed to get 4 apps done on a saturday, not something i usually do. just by shrinking down my windows even more and having a card game up the whole time. card game is like my armour/shield against the lip curling disgust of doing the apps. holding the nose in a way to successfully Get Things Done. when you have to do 500, 600 of these goddamn apps. eating the shit elephant one shitty bite at a time.

yeah i already mentioned this but its important and bears repeating hehehehe.

its not just eating an elephant, its eating a shit elephant, because every bite fookin sucks and is painful and excruciating. and you have to do a lottttttttttttt of these bites. and you cant just do them for 8 hours straight or you will blow your brains out.

5 apps. noice. well the last one was an indeed quik apply, to a job at a tool factory in a very trashy part of town, that had been open for 25 days and had 350 applicants. and is prob 10 to 12 dollars an hour. of course they didnt say.

ok the trick to getting a medical mj card is to complain of PAIN. CHRONIC PAIN in your back or arm or neck. i am fortunate in that the one thing i dont have is chronic physical pain, but this is by far the most popular qualifying condition. despair and anxiety and insomnia and headaches arent qualifying. (well, MAYBE headaches would be.)

so go to a shady clinic with a shady doctor on doctor day, say you have chronic headaches and dont want to take opiates, and he will 75% give you approval. then you can go back in 30 days for a follow up visit to prove ongoing relship bona fides. most people dont do this and the state prob wont go after you if you dont. you think THAT WOMAN did that? hell no!

i should look this up. how many people does the state go after because they suspect they are faking their medical condition? probably not a single damn person. do you know how much MONEY that would COST?

i just really dont like the state having my name as a MJ smoker though. will endanger my career at the FBI hahahaha.

but seriously folks i am applying to a lot of FED jobs like army, air force, DoD, us attorneys, etc tho.

havent had any FED interviews hehehehe.

anyway as far as state medical MJ FRAUD, i would IMAGINE the state would use their resources to prosecute fraud on the part of DOCTORS and “caregivers”/dispensaries/SELLERS, before they would spend a penny to prosecute “PATIENTS” for Fraudulently soliciting Cards.

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

oct 16

i was thinking again about the Maximum number I would tolerate for a woman. I thought about, well, what if I were like a woman and I had Gotten With and Had Secs with every person I fancied. Then MY number would be about 8. Pretty high, huh? sure i would have gladly dated all of those women for at least a year each. AND I would have liked to be married by age 25 or 30 at the oldest.

and i am aiming for 25 year old women approx.

and also using a rule that you should not have more than 1 secs partner in a 1.5 year period. assume a 1 year relship, then 6 months to get over it.

also assume you start fooking at age 18.

so, add 2 partners for every 3 years.

so, by age 24 they should have no more than 4 men.

even THAT sounds a little high!

by age 27, 6 men.

age 30, 8 men.

age 33, 10 men.

and since i am around that age, i should have around 10 women and still non be a technical degenerate.

but 10 seems ALWAYS degenerate! plus I wanted to be MARRIED by now! and any woman should be married by 30, no exceptions!

and i would only be at 8 right now. assuming i banged ALL those women…….which is a RIDICULOUSLY big assumption. most of them didnt even have fleeting interest in me.

i was basically trying to come up with a reasonable, nondegenerate number for a 25 year old woman, so i could Manage Expectations from there.

and estimating my own number if I were a woman and could bang every person I liked. I would be at damn 8 by now. making me a huge degen slut hahahahahaha. if i were a woman.

also i have never LOST INTEREST in a woman. women lose interest in men all the time. been dating and fooking this guy for a few months, few years, just lose interest, dont feel it any more, better dump him and find a new man that makes me tingle. i just dont understand losing interest in peopel like that.

i havent lost interest in THAT WOMAN, and i havent seen or talked to her in 15 months! 450 days! im STILL interested in her!

but boy she sure lost interest in me, and now i am just a long forgotten piece of her distant past! i wish i could get over women the way they get over ME!!!!!!

i guess after “the honeymoon period” you start to lose interest. i never had that. essentially i was always dumped DURING the honeymoon period, which REALLY sucks. you never got a CHANCE to lose interest in them. and then you maintain that interest for 2 years after you were dumped. essentially turns it into a neverending honeymoon period of ridiculously prolonged pain and heartbreak.

much longer than any natural honeymoon period would last, which i guess lasts….6 months? 1 year at the most?

thinking about MJ definitely is a good replacement/substitute for thinking about HER, or WOMEN, or Hopeless and despair, or job search.

but MJ has its own set of problems.

but

AT LEAST IT HAS SOME PROS TO GO WITH ITS CONS!!!!

i mean it adds SO MUCH value. i think the cons of despair, laziness, and incoherence are WORTH IT, because I am ALREADY despairing, lazy, and incoherent!!!!!!!!!!

so i just go on Leafly and read articles about CBD and anxiety and opioids and local dispensaries and menu prices and indicas and such.

it would be GREAT if that one company in the area that i know of that deals with Medical MJ Marketing called me back for the part time data entry job i applied for hahahahahaha. i think it almost has to do with “biotech”, the CEO is a pharmacist.

this would be a GREAT industry for me to get into in other words, cnsidering my interests. except i dont necessarily want to be a “budtender” in the BLACK GHETTO hahahahahaha.

1, they prob make less than 12 an hour, 2, i could not explain that to muh fam, 3, dispensaries are kinda degen. MJ is kinda degen!!!!!!

there are NO alt right, trump supporting, right wing MJ supporters! i am kinda alone in that boat. some of the more libertarian rightists might support legalization, but certainly none of them personally enjoy partaking!

ok there is nothing in my official medical record that would support MJ card, so i have to say i have no medical records and i have chronic pain.

THEORETICALLY i could claim that the ssri meds i take cause muscle spasms and then THAT would be a qual condition.

also i cant determine how long you have to WAIT before sending the forms in, and getting your card, OR if you can just use a copy of your forms AS your card immediately. I think That Woman did the latter. ie saw the dr, signed the forms, sent forms, took copy of forms to dispensary THE SAME DAY and bought MJ.

i really dont think that is legal. my understanding is you have to wait 21 days from the day the state cashes your CHECK, and THEN you can use a copy of form IF you havent gotten Hard Card yet.

i am going to start reclaiming the word “VIRGIN” as a badge of honor, a compliment. if someone calls you virgin, say thank you.

my goal is to get virgin to be synonymous with GOOD, and “NONVIRGIN” to be synonymous with DEGENERATE, PERVERTED, SLEAZY, BAD, HORRIBLE, EVIL, WICKED, CREEPY, ABUSIVE, FOOKED UP, SHAMEFUL.

hahahaha.

shame people for being nonvirgins.

see, this is when your perspective starts getting a little weird hehehe.

i just hate that EVERY woman has “NUDES” on mens phones and computers. and it makes them feel SEXY and builds their CONFIDENCE that all these men they fook have NUDES of them. its fooking degenerate. plus i am jelly because i never got nudes of a gurl. i kinda would like to cross that off my bucket list. and somewhere out there, THAT WOMAN is sexting nudes of herself to the men shes fooking and getting INTERESTED in.

oh well. who cares. just let me buy some damn MJ already hehehe.

ok i am guessing 2019 will be the year we get recreational MJ for Adults in muh state. meaning the law will get passed in late 2018 and take effect jan 2019. cant wait hahahaha. 2 more years. the current gov and AG are against MJ.

so i would vote in leftist marxist dem state govt just to get legal MJ ???!?!?!?!?!!?

maybe hehehehe.

i mean i am very selfish because i am just trying to get thru one day at a time and fix my own problems. i dont have time for anyone else. i only care about muh family and the white race. and apparently muh MJ.  strange position to be in.

i mean i have literally been thinking about MJ much of the day for the past few days, like, damn, i really want some, why the hell DONT i just go in and see a shady doc, be like, welp i havent been to a doctor in years and i dont have any medical records, and ive been having chronic pain in my back for the past 4 months and i dont want painkillers.

i mean i COULD get medical records but theres nothing in there which SUPPORTS getting MJ, like nothign about this so called back pain hahahaha.

if i were a WOMAN id have no problem getting MJ hahahaha.

hehehehehe

im not sure if MW has ever mentioned his rumored GF, not sure if he does here, havent watched the video.

http://wasp.love/

alt right dating hahahahaha i dont see this taking off but if it does, good.

i mean if i want a traditional woman, i have to be a traditional man, and uhhhh thats prob not gonna happen unfortuantely. id like to be but DAMN you need to make a LOT of money and be REALLY successful.

so i concluded that i would be ok with a woman who had fooked maybe 5 guys by age 25.

maybe 6.

but not 7 hahahaha.

well ok maybe 7. but DEF not 8.

and honestly i dont want to go much older than 25.

MAYBE 26 hahahaha.

but not 27.

hello doctor. i havent been to a doctor in many years. i have chronic pain for the last 4-6 months. taking aspirin doesnt really help. i dont want to use opiates.

ok i really DONT deserve a good wife cuz i dont really have anything to offer. i was/am aware of this, but a good woman just sort of dropped into my life without me looking for me, knowing that i wasnt ready for one.

so it might not be inaccurate to say i raelly didnt deserve her!

well heres the thing, she had some red flags against being a top shelf good wife. if anything she would be a good match for me given my own shortcomings. the best woman i could conceivably get. of COURSE im not gonna get a woman WITHOUT Daddy Issues or who HASNT mudsharked! im a huge old neet loser, low male mate value!

anyway, point is, even if she WAS an objectively good wife material, and even though I didnt deserve her, it doesnt mean that i DESERVED to be snubbed in such a cowardly manner.

see i have to convince myself that i’m not so weak and creepy that i deserved THAT, that I got the extreme pain because I am extremely piss weak. shitty things happen to shitty people.

but really as martin luther kang said, never attribute to malice what can be attributed to simple cowardice. or ignorance.

meaning, she didnt have evil intent, OR i didnt do something horrible, OR I wasnt a horribly weak inferior person. she was just cowardly and immature. thats believable right? of course it is!!!!!

so yeah i WAS weak and didnt deserve a good women, but that doesnt mean that good women GET to be mean to me. woman2012 was a great woman and she gave a Master Class in how to dump an unworthy guy. have i said this before? hahahahahahahaha.

SHE had courage, SHE was mature, AND she was a good woman, AND I didnt deserve her, AND she still treated me with kindness and maturity.

sheeeeeeeeeit. managed to crank out some very low effort, negro style applications with indeed apply. 8 minutes then 6 minutes. all while doing the hold muh nose method of playing cards at same time. listening to boortzum also helps.

ohhjsfkhasdghj

now they actually recorded the WHOLE ALBUM but i cant find it other than on a secret link posted by the actual echo collective.

anyway they need to release that shit. i dont care if they are shitlibs examining the separattion of Good Art from Problematic, Hateful, Disturbed, AntiSemitic 1488 artist. (Note: I fully approve of and like Varg’s 1488, Pro-White, Counter-Semitic views, so I am just as Disturbed and hateful as him!!!!!) its an album with not the greatest production but i believe good songs under it all. so i welcome the chance to listen to cover version, tributes, maybe even a rerecording by varg himself hint hint.

but now he uses that NOISY synth effect which i dont really like either, its very shimmery and distorted and sounds like a laser and just doesnt fit, is like nails on a chalkboard. other than THAT, he does bretty good synths.

real low effort applications for data entry job with a law firm.

does working in a law firm mean you have to wear a different suit each day?

5 days a week times 150 dollars per suit, is 750 dollars just for Work Clothes!

then 100 dollars for 5  20 dollar dress shirts.

then like 50 dollars for an ok pair of dress shoes.

900 dollars to buy CLOTHES to work at a LAW OFFICE.

and you are making 12 dollars an hour.  you have to work 75 hours just to afford the CLOTHES you need to wear to WORK.

and with 150 dollar suits, 20 dollar shirts, and 50 dollar shoes, you are NOT gonna be on the good side of Average in a Law Office.

well the protip is, try to apply for two or more jobs at a given company in a ROW, because then you have to change less in your cover letter – just the name of the Leadership Team, and the name of the Position. dont have to change the name of the company, or Your Commitment to the company’s Mission, and save some time on your second app, and maybe appear more visible to the company. memorable. but dont apply for TOO many, then you look DESPERATE, that youre not TAILORING your job search, you dont care about FIT, you just want a job, any job, not a CAREER!!!!!! theyll find someone BETTER to give their 12 dollars an hour to!

https://www.livechatinc.com/blog/how-to-say-no-to-customers-without-making-them-angry/

this is the only article on the internet on how to say no to customers. and its not a very useful one.

google how to tell people theres nothing more we can do

most of the results are on doctors telling terminal cancer patients.

nothing on how to tell a customer, no, your problem isnt worth fixing, just live with it, it is what it is, not my problem, goodbye.

http://www.icmi.com/forums/topic59-i-want-to-speak-to-a-supervisor.aspx

i know ive linked this one before, but its worth sharing with your Level 1 Inbound Agents hahahahaha.

also we had no bulletproof way to transfer the call to another level 1, ie warm transfer and say hey this person wants to speak to a supervisor, so pretend to be a supervisor…….because all the level 1 people would be on calls,

ONE DOES NOT SIMPLY TRANSFER A CALL.

theres literally no one to transfer it TO!

so you tell them thats a very simple problem and i can fix that for you right now.

then they say, thats what the last guy said, and he struggled with this for 2 hours with no resolution or escalation, thats why im asking to speak to a supervisor.

thats actually a very simple problem, i can fix that right now.

then you take 2 hours to struggle with it hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha because its NOT a simple problem at ALL and NOBODY knows how to fix it, but they dont want to escalate it either, they jsut want the problem to GO AWAY.

http://workplace.stackexchange.com/questions/67275/how-can-i-screen-calls-when-callers-refuse-to-tell-me-the-nature-of-the-call

not really what i was looking for, but still kinda interesting, basically acting as a gatekeeper to keep sales calls from the Decision Maker, which osunds a lot less stressful than being the Tier 1 tasked with Fixing Their Shit By Any Means Necessary, with no help or escalation or training or meetings or help.

https://www.salesgravy.com/sales-articles/customer-service/rich-baker-confounding-customer-service.html

bbbbbut its TOO EXPENSIVE to give the asshole customers what they want all the time!

yeah but thats not really what hes asking either.

yeah but its too expensive to TRAIN EMPLOYEES to handle tough trick questions.

yes yes it is.

our business analysts have crunched the numbers and have determined that yes in depth training IS too expensive.

The end! It is what it is! Theres nothing more we can do!

https://www.reddit.com/r/talesfromcallcenters/

oh this is nice, did not know about this one.

NEVER AGAIN. I will never go back to a goddam call center ever again. and i had a pretty GOOD one, with fairly good callers, all internal, no general public ever. and i still couldnt handle it!!!!!!!!!

oct 18

today i learned that indeed results can only go up to page 20, which is about 4 days ago when sorted by date.

putting 50 results on each page. or is it 100? whatever the largest num is.

got in 3 apps today. 2 at a german manufacturer that has an outstanding reputation and probably treats its employees well. maybe if i tell the american HR Ditz (masters degree in HR, PHR certified (not sure if i got that cert right)) that I think Germany should have won world war 2 and i Luv Uncle Adolf, they will hire me, because all germans are nazis who love hitler and hate joos hahahahahaha. and are not cucky softies apologizing for existing until they will be diluted and drowned by Migrants.

found the full

this is a private playlist but god damn they need to RELEASE this stuff, this is too GOOD to be private. very faithful rendition of the whole album performed by Competent Musicians on Real Instruments. people should do this for all of vargs ambient/nonmetal albums. i wish thats how he recorded them. i dont like synths Approximating (sometimes poorly) real instruments. i understand varg likes his convenience. thats fine. get other people to play it, like above.

finally got to the point where i had to go back to The Indeed List. I dont know if this is good or bad.

yeah i get imposter syndrome too.

first commenter says, the shitty thing about imposter syndrome is, from the outside, its practically impossible to tell apart from the dunning kruger effect.

and if you dont know what that means, you dont deserve a 12 dollar an hour job!

dunning kruger effect means that you are way less competent than you think you are.

which is similar but different to the peter principle, where you get promoted to the point where you are no longer competent. so your most effective position would be the one below that one.

maybe if his wife abandons him he will Change and Go To Counseling and get over his impostor syndrome (overworked and underappreciated IT guy who feels in over his head and works 30 hour days)

anyway yeah i felt huge impostor syndrome too, it was VERY stressful. but i wasnt ACTUALLY incompetent, so it wasnt really dunning kruger effect. besdies with DK, you are not stressed out, youre overconfident, so id take DK ALL DAY.

if youre gonna be incompetent, be DK and not an impostor.

of course, only 50% of impostors are ACTUALLY incompetent hehehehehe.

they just underestimate and undersell themselves.

yes i well aware that THREE of the songs on “daudi baldrs” are RECYCLED on other Boortzum albums. doesnt matter. they are good songs.

there is an ask men reddit, also a mens space where men can ask questions about women and rels and life. i am just tired of hearing about womens problems, and womens stupid advice.

i mean SOME of the women have good judgment. but no more than 50% hahahaha.

men at least 60% of men have good judgment!

also men can “send good vibes” more sincerely than women can. have better intentions. are kinder. more compassionate hahaha.

like reading the tales from tech support reddit, since i have wiped alot of detailed stories from my memory of my sentence in tech support, i can use this to tune up my Tell Me About A Time When Stories.

when i came in on my day off to call customers back because i didnt have time during my regular shift, and i didnt want to leave people hanging without an explanation or follow up.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Attention_deficit_hyperactivity_disorder_predominantly_inattentive

people wiht this kind of ADHD get written off as derpressed, stupid, or lazy, instead of ADD, because they are not HYPER.

ADHD-PI. learned about it from that reddit thread, impostor sndrome.

ok applied for jizob while chilling out at night, up to 4 today. thats pretty good. also looked at 20 pages of indeed postings.

 

misunderstandings, miscommunications, autistic inexperienced guy, gurl who is too immature to Use Words, he thinks these things are dates, she doesnt, she wants a real date, young autist doesnt know how to.

well obviously he didnt Grab Her By The Pvssy (or just Make Out With Her) during one of those walks in the park.

and its a miracle she hasnt left him yet. him saying please respond, i’ll take you on a nice date, Ill grab your pvssy in the park pleeeeeeeeeeeeee just give me one more chance, i can change, i promise, please respond hahahahahahahahahaha and then he takes 2+ years to get over it.

heh call me a woman hater, but i think a guy is entitled to tell his gf she’s not allowed to hang out with her former “FWB”‘s. you arent allowed to hang out with anybody you have previously FOOKED.

oh but WERE dating now, and i never dated him exclusively, we were just FWBs, we just FOOKED.

i dont care. and if that makes me CONTROLLING, well there are women who prefer CONTROLLING men.

similarly, i dont think women should be hanging out with their ex BF”s either. just dont hang out with anybody you used to date OR fook.

its so weird for me because this is SUCH a common thing in the current year. but i just cant understand it. because every experience ive had “dating” or fooking somebody, i was dumped against my will, so hanging out with them, i woudl totally be thinking about “getting back together” with them. so maybe im wrong in assuming that of women. especially since women are the ones DOING the dumping. of course, you can still want to go back to someone YOU dumped.

i mean I wouldnt. Cuz i know how bad it feels to be dumped, and i wouldnt’ want to be LORDING it over them, and I wouldnt get past the idea that the other person wanted to get back together with ME, so……i just wouldnt hang out as “just friends” with them!

and all these women are making WAY more money in their male dominated stem fields, than i ever will! as Recent College Grads of 22 years old! I could almost be their FATHER hahahaha.

yeah i jsut CANT IMAGINE hanging out with someone i used to date or fook, without wanting them back, because i didnt like when they dumped me in the first place!!!!!

“DEAR” WOMEN, DONT HANG OUT WITH MEN YOU USED TO DATE OR FOOK, YA STUPID MORONS!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

MEN HAVE VERY HIGH COMPETENCE WITH LOW EXPERIENCE, WOMEN HAVE NO COMPETENCE WITH VERY HIGH EXPERIENCE

oct 2

ok used this thing called coinpatrol to set up a bitcoin email alert to send me an email when the price drops more than 4% in one day. then i know I should think about buying hehehehehe. surprised coinbase doesnt have this. why not? prob because it costs money to develop and implement hehehehe. cuts into their profits goy.

so how come coinpatrol can do it? i guarantee they have WAY less money than coinbase.

explain this to a caller right now! you’re the expert!

http://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/breaks-breaking-up/593201-girlfriend-dumped-me-unexpectedly-fight-her-give-up

got to stay away from reddit. just go to loveshack instead. i dont even know. loveshack COULD be worse. but at this point its better to take the devil you DONT know hahaha.

ok did 1 app of the day at stupid gay hospital that alwasy rejects me and is unprofessional as fook HR dept. because i can do these apps in 4 minutes and not 14 and didnt want to think at all cuz its sunday hahahaha.

also i didnt understand she was Checking Out Permanently from the Rel. I thought we were just going through a rough patch but that she just wasnt in the process of moving out. i wish she had TOLD ME hey just fyi, im moving out permanently right now. just so you know. no we ARENT gonna talk about this. im getting out as we speak.

because that is not whats implied by “i miss you too, of course well hang out soon”

hehehehe.

and i was too desperate and blind to read the nonverbal signs. but how about giving some verbal signs too, like, yeah, things arent looking real good for this, i dont think i can do this anymore, lets end this hahahaha.

they say not to be a perfectionist…..but you kinda HAVE to be! well, if not 100% perfect, then youhave to be #1 out of all the competitors. not #2. #1. the best. you have to be The #1 Best option among the options for the job, for the woman.

you can be GOOD, you can be CLOSE, but if you’re not #1, then the end result is 100% rejection, same as the retarded mongoloid at the bottom of the heap. private pyle.

and people say dont be a perfectionist…..but you HAVE to be to be successful in life. and then when you see people who are moderately successful in life (like that woman) who are not that impressive. im smarter and better than her!!!!! she’s perfectly average, even a little below average!

but im also not as smart as i think i am.

and then on bad days i think i am really stupid, and i am not really THAT stupid either.

well if she and other normies can be perfectly average and still be moderately successful, then I am probably average too, then why arent i moderately successful? because I’m not THE BEST? THEYRE not the best either!!!!!! they are just AVERAGE!!!!!

you shouldnt be able to be moderately successful if you are Just Average! You should have to be THE BEST in order to be moderately successful!!!!

for someone who naturally asks WHY? WHY? to be able to move on without why, to accept that why doesnt matter, is frustrating. whether its a woman dumping you in a harsh way, or somethign at your job that you SHOULD be able to explain, but cant, and even your employer doesnt care why, because to find out why would cost too much, for too little reward. why? i dont beleive it. show me those calculations.

http://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/coping/597008-dealing-regrets

sheeeeeit. i think the biggest dealbreaker for me is not mudsharking, not even abortions, but just being a damn high number slut.

well, i have been willing to date high number sluts though, as long as they were qt and young. actually having children would probably be the dealbreaker. i have never been INterested in a woman who had children.

but I HAVE been willing to Date women who:

  1. were high number sluts
  2. had mudsharked
  3. had had abortions

so…..SEE!!! I AM WILLING TO COMPROMISE AND LOWER MUH STANDARDS!!!!!!!

now i never was interested in a woman who was ALL THREE. well…..i just dont know do I? its a lot harder to prove they have mudsharked or had abortions than to prove they are a slut. women will openly admit to being with a lot of guys, but arent as willing to admit theyve been with muds, or had abortions. you gotta be man enough to ask them.

ht     tps://heartiste.wordpress.com/2016/09/29/the-wages-of-sluttery/

i think heartiste might have officially come out as a 1488 WN. i hope he does. i mean he’s definitely sympathetic.

women have lots of male friends. men do not have many women friends. WOMEN do not have many women friends. therefore, we can concluded that women are shittier friends/people than men. Corrollary: women only have all these men friends because the men have ulterior motives hahahaha. want to fook them. no this doesnt mean all the men are dishonest NiceGuys. it just means they are desparate, sad, and lonely, desparate for female contact because they don’t have any.

jeez there is such drama going on at damn TRS, people getting banned left and right, infighting o rama, so stupid, a guy i really like was banned, and i dont agree with the banning, but if i complain about it, i will get banned, because its a fascist forum. because we are pro fascist. so what happens when the fascist admins ban people you like. you just keep silent and fall in line? it just seems all so fookin stupid. i dont dislike the guy who banned him, im just disappointed he went ahead and did that. i like both guys. banning should be for true enemies, traitors, subverters. and the guy who got banned was none of that. he just refused to stop talking to some people who had ruffled the higher ups feathers. damn.

also some cliquish bullshit that implies that TRS is softer on phaggotry than they should be. and i think there has been some hot heads and overreactions and misunderstanding, and good people get mad and ban other good people, and it leaves you with a sour taste.

so i hope they unban this one guy in particular.

its not enough to make me stop supporting TRS…..but if they keep doing stuff like this, that is not a good way to be.

theres just several cliques, a schism developing, a pro gay and an anti gay side. so fookin stupid. kinda related to how common filth fell out with the TRS people. now its a similar thing with natt and IM. ie, they are all on the CF side (very anti gay) who say that TRS is a pro gay side because they like MW and “Grindr Greggy” and richard spencer.  dont have a strong opinion on spencer, but I do like MW and GJ, but I also like florian who just got banned from TRS, but I think CF is too blackpill, I kinda like natt, i dunno, this drama is so retarded.

for what its worth, i dont think florian is a major instigator, possibly CF and slavros are. and natt.

this sorta shit has gone on forever with Political Movements. But I like florian and this is pretty disappointing, i really dont think he should have been banned. maybe he will be unbanned. people have been unbanned before.

in the final analysis i would end up on the pro-phag side because i am that big on supporting MW. i feel a Great Connection and Intimacy with him hahahahahaha because he was a despairing neet like me who threw his youth away and had many years of failure and no normies can understand that, and many alt righters are normie chads in that respect and dont understand it.

they will ALWAYS condemn MW because of his past, nothing he says or does now will ever be good enough for these Purity SPiralers hehehe. then they in turn say anyone who uses the term PUrity Spiral is a Phag Enabler. so thats me i guess. a phag enabler. a degen sodomite.

i just dont think its a huge problem, and i will even tolerate repentant gays. i think the muchhhhhhh bigger problem is degenerate slut WOMEN. and again, hate the sin not the sinner here. but i GUARANTEE that pound for pound, female promiscuity and casual sex is 1488000000000000000000000000 times a bigger problem than gay sex. like 1 out of 50 men is gay. 25 out of 50 women are sluts. COME ON. and im just talking about white men and women here.

anyway it sounds like iron march is attacking TRS more than TRS is attacking IM, which is not at all, TRS is just ignoring IM and banning IM sympathizers. and i guess the trs admins decided florian was too much of an IM sympathizer. doesnt mean im still not disappointed! I really liked florian! I hope florian is unbanned! I will still follow florian!

well the admin made an effortpost describing the situation so i appreciate that. im not asking for IM or natt to be unbanned. i just think florian got a bit of a raw deal.

BASICALLY, people like natt, common filth, and slavros of IM are pretty much anti-TRS and denounce TRS as phag-enablers, because TRS is friendly with spencer, greggy, and MW. those 3 guys go on twitter and talk shit about TRS. therefore, i can understand why TRS would not want these people on podcasts promoted on the TRS site.

I would still give florian the benefit of the doubt though. maybe just give him a tempban, or not advertise the episodes that had natt on. florian has the right to talk to whoever he wants, and TRS has the right not to promote those episodes. and natt and cf are overreacting by saying TRS is phag enabling. I read “grindr greggy” for years before TRS even existed. and I am pretty damn defensive of MW. I REALLY do not like people dissing MW. ive never heard florian dissing TRS or MW, thats all Im saying.

anyway. i was gonna say, women have WAY more experience than men being in relships, long term relships, being with several guys for a year, 2 years apiece……yet they are still INCOMPETENT AF, ESPECIALLY given all the EXPERIENCE and TIME they had. HIGH EXPERIENCE, VERY LOW COMPETENCE. in terms of learning lessons, becoming mature, getting good at skills like communication, problem resolution, compromise, communication, etc.

meanwhile, men have much less experience, AND much much MORE Competence! I have learned lessons and skills that women who have spent 5, 10 years of their lives In Rels have Not Yet learned……and Ive spent 0 minutes In A Rel! The Shit I’ve learned just from One sided pining, and friendships, and reading, and being rejected, and aborted pseudo-dating, i’ve learned more than most women learn from 5,6,7 solid YEARS of being IN a REAL rel!!!!!!!!

DAMN!!!!!

That woman was in a rel for 5 years with a guy, lived with him for years, spend 1000000s of hours having secs and being intimate with him, people saying i luv u to each other and seeing each other every day, and i have experienced NONE of that, yet I am STILL more Competent and Skilled and Mature and Knowledgeable than a Woman who has LIVED that LIFE for YEARS!!!!!! What does that tell you about womens AWARENESS and Maturity and Intelligence and Ways of Thinking???!?!?!?!?!?!?!??!?!

I am not just talking about her, but women in general.

well……i am just making assumptions again! maybe she DID KNOW a lot of shit, it was just a matter of COURAGE. she didnt have the COURAGE to do the right thing, so she just AVOIDED it. doesnt mean she DIDNT KNOW any better. she KNEW better, just didnt have the COURAGE to follow through with it.

who cares it was SIXTEEN MONTHS AGO.

but i said it would take TWO SOLID YEARS to get over.

just wish I had some MJ to help me get through those two long years tho!!!!!!

and also a damn job that I could work without panicking and freaking out and having damn terrified RUN AWAY flight or flight reaction!!!!!

sheeeeeeeeit.

oct 3

sheeeeeeit. trying to prep for phone interview tomorrow. glassdoor suggests that the job could pay close to 40k or 42k. 20 to 21 an hour. when i am only looking for 12 an hour. so now I gotta up THAT to look like im not desperate and below their league. well then WHY did their highly qualified HR wimmin with a masters degree pick ME for the phone interview?

also wish i had more exact stories from my old job. i copied some old cases but i neglected to copy my BEST cases.

so thats a regret. whenever i had a big problem or a ridiculous case at work, i should have wrote down as many details as i could, really just copied the whole case itself, and then spun it like what could i do to really save the day here, even if i didnt, and then tell that detailed, heroic, epic story in future interviews. but none of the cases i copied out of there were really THAT great.

its funny. even in my hardest college classes, i never felt like “this is too hard for me, i cant handle this. this is too complicated. im too dumb for this.” because i knew that somewhere out there, there was an answer to the problems, even if the teacher sucked and the book sucked, and if the problem sucked too much, you just gave it your best shot, got 1%, and didnt really care, cuz no one was gonna really BITCH at you about it, AND later you would probably be corrected and learn how to do the problem anyway. you were given readings and problems and lectures on HOW to do the shit. you knew about exams and deadlines from the beginning of the term. sometimes your instructor even HELPED you prepare for exams, like here’s what you really need to know, focus on this, not so much that, let’s take some questions and make sure we understand so and so.

and you NEVER had to explain anything to some bitch who was bitching you out for being an incompetent idiot who was bad at your job. it wasnt such a big deal to get stuff wrong.

your “team” and managers didnt resent you for making mistakes, your “customers” didnt resent you for making mistakes. you didnt really have a team. you didnt have customers. you just had an instructor who was like, welp you got this question wrong, its not the end of the world, and I will help you get your grade up if you are willing to put in the work. im not gonna BITCH at you for getting it wrong. I sorta want to help you understand these concepts better.

our stupid job was the type of job that REALLY made you want to DRINK. like oh god i cant believe i survived that day, OH GOD, I need a STRONG drink RIGHT NOW. and then you would CHUG some whiskey or scotch or vodka equal to at LEAST 1.5 or 2 shots worth, just chug it straight from the bottle. and THEN you would be like wewlad, ok, welp i HAD to a serious SHOT, now I will have a serious DRINK to unwind. then you pour a sipping drink equal to at least 2 or 3 shots. basically a minimum of 5 drinks to unwind from EVERY day.

5 drinks every workday will eventually turn you into an alcoholic and also the hangovers will become a problem. for work.

also, if you NEED 5 drinks, youre not gonna stop at 5. you will say shit, might as well have another. and another. the 5 really easily turns into 10. then youre shitfaced drunk and have to work the next day.

note: i never did any of this. and thats kind of a miracle. i mean i could see drinking honestly HELPING you in this situation.

i am surprised more people didnt drink ON the job. probably because you were in close quarters and could probably smell it.

but yeah every day i went in there, it felt like an Exam I Couldnt Handle, that I wasnt prepared for. Sure I generally got SOME test anxiety whenever i had a college test……but the shit i faced every day at the job was WORSE, because i never felt prepared, AND I had to talk to people who were bitching about their problems and thought I had the knowledge and skills to fix them…..when i actually knew just as much or less than they did.

oct 2 received millennial woes tshirt. not bad woesy. manlet woes lad hahahahaha.

well you know why people arent interested in their race being genocided, because they are too busy working 60 hours a week and then worrying about their job all other waking hours of the week. they simply dont have time to think about their race being genocided because all they can think or do is work. and beleive me theyre not happy about it! they wish they could think about anything else! when i was into the full swing of working, i could not follow news or racial stuff at all! i wanted to, but i was just too exhausted! I was so focused on day to day survival that i could not even THINK about what is happening to the white race!

i mean i CARED sure, but i cared more about how the hell i was going to survive the firing squad every day, the 10 hour Dissertation Defense where you hadnt spent 5 years researching and writing and thinking about your dissertation, your were basically plopped down to defend someone elses shitty dissertation in a field you knew nothing about.

if you had a 12 week boot camp like you do for boot camp, they would probably teach you some Fallback Training so that when you got weird shit, you could just Fall Back On Your Training and go through the motions and fake it till you make it.

but when you have shitty training, you just sit there and go uhhhhhhhhhhhhh like a deer in headlights and say i got nothing. i really have no idea. and youre stuck with me here. my higher ups dont have time to talk to you. youre stuck with me and i dont know what im doing, so bear with me because this IS gonna take a while. you would LITERALLY have just as good a chance trying to fix this yourself by looking at some chinese manual. because thats what im doing. and tyring to figure out what this goddam chinese manual is saying. and your guess is as good as mine.

like going to your doctor and he asks YOU for advice in treating YOUR problem. pretty ass backwards uh?

so yeah a VERY stiff drink is warranted at the end of the day. and if you cant drink, then a bigass spliff or bowl so you can get blazed as fook. i couldnt drink, and honestly getting blazed as fook was better than doing nothing.

my choices were get blazed, take valium, exercise, study shit to try to get a sense of control, go to bed early, and i tried a combination of all of those.

the best was: getting really blazed, then study cases for an hour or 90 minutes, then maybe exercise, then gt blazed some more, then go to bed early.

but yeah i wish there was a book or a mentor who could help you thru the early phases. like goddamn TRAINING WHEELS. and then you take off the training wheels when youre READY, or at least 75% CLOSE to being ready!

oh xfinity comcast i hate you kieran from comcast. not just that they give bad service and are joos, but that they have the AUDACITY to think THIS COMMERCIAL proves that they are improving their service. they put this stuff right out there are WERE SUPPOSED TO BE IMPRESSED? IMPRESSED THAT YOU CAN CHANGED YOUR WIFI PASSWORD? IMPRESSED THAT YOU CAN TWEET TO A SERVICE REP? IMPRESSED THAT YOU CAN SCHEDULE A CALL?????? NO!!!!!!!! NO ON ALL COUNTS!!!!!!!!

as far as customer service goes……learn a lesson from the companies that do it GOOD. (well). Companies that are rated by their customers as having great customer service. and then do what they do. all i know is that zappos and nordstrom have a REPUTATION for good customer service. maybe marriott or hilton too. do what they do.

its hard to think straight when youre panicking because youve never seen this before AND you have no idea how to fix it.

HOW CAN YOU FIX SOMETHING YOUVE NEVER HEARD OF??????

While this situation fills me with panic and dread, the idea Tech Person is EXCITED about the CHALLENGE. they LIKE Bullshitting their ways out of these RIDICULOUS situations.

woman is “ghosted” by man. just like finding/reading “ghosting” stories. this was worse because they were officially dating for 1.5 years. and she still handled it better than i did hahahaha.

https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/living-forward/201511/is-why-ghosting-hurts-so-much

i probably linked this article again but it came up in that reddit

also there are no damn MEN talking about how theyve been ghosted by WOMEN so all these horrible reddit women are saying, “hmm this sounds like a male thing to do”

but yeah fact is reddit is just more interesting and easier to browse and read than loveshack.

heh. if you get put on the state medical mj list……do cops see that whenever they scan your license when you get pulled over? how much work needs to be done for LE to see if you are on that list? would it come up in a regular background check? what about a more serious background check? how many kinds of background checks are there? is the background check to get a sweet 40k a year job in a Good Company more or less stringent than the background check to get in the FBI? or a secret govt clearance? or get a job as a Copper?

heh there was a Creepy Clown sighting a few miles from my house. this has started to become a Real Life Meme in 2016 (actually I remember it earlier, but it seems to be Spiking again in Oct 2016 and imagine halloween has something to do with it) Just a Creepy Clown standing in a parking lot at 2 am waving at cars.

not too far from my house, and really close to HER house. I admit I read the news article sort of wishing to see HER commenting on it. damn. PATHETIC.

some people get the proper perspective, and when the person who GHOSTS them comes crawling back 6, 12, 15 months later, the ghostee says FOOK YOU ASSHOLE, FOOK OFF AND DIE YOU PIECE OF SHIT, which is the appropriate thing to say. her, i would take her back no question and be like i forgive you baby, i can understand why you did this, you were just scared, its ok baby i forgive you.

 

wow. IT TAKES A WHILE FOR SOME PEOPLE TO GET COMFROTABLE WITH SECS, YA DUMB, DIRTY WHORE!!!!!!

and ex boifran WHO IS ALSO HER BEST FRIEND

OH COME ON

PATHETIC.

ABSOLUTELY DEGENERATE.

well its more complicated, this case is, basically she is dumping him because shes still in luv wth her ex, not because he was awkward the one and only time they had secs. so really, nothing too interesting here.

i just hate how women have NO PROBLEM having secs quickly. dont they get NERVOUS? even if it werent degenerate, i would get NERVOUS! i dont KNOW this person! now im showing them my naked body and rubbing our genitalia together? and women have all these goddamn BODY ISSUES ANYWAY!!! and theyre NOT NERVOUS letting STRANGERS fook their naked body??!?!?!?! and they always  forget that women can get pregnant? WTF??!?!?!?!?!!!

you cant touch a womans stomach without them freaking out, but you can know them for less than 2 hours and stick your diseased dick up her cvnt uncovered and take videos and pictures of it. un fookin believable. wearing fooking sleeveless shit to show off their fat arms. yet if you touch their stomach, you get dumped. what idiots.

you get dumped if you dont compliment them the right way. if you compliment them the WRONG way, you get dumped.

yet they let tyrone and achmed spray in their cvnt unprotected.

stop TRYING to make sense of it. even though they dont KNOW its all about reproduction, its STILL all about reproduction, and they choose to have casual sex with the strongest strongman they can find in the short term. doesnt matter if hes the bad type of strong. it only matters that his strength is obvious and blatant and easy to see.

they arent designed to choose a good man for the long term. thats their FATHERS job.

maybe i am going off the deep end here. maybe women CAN make good decisions SOMETIMES. and maybe they CAN have courage and do the right thing SOMETIMES. like for example, ST ANN COULTER. She makes good decisions (except about who she fooks)

and believe me, i could put up with the worthlessness of women a lot better if i just had a nice 12 dollar an hour job and could hold my head up high with that knowledge. just need a JOB and some MJ, the WOMAN is secondary.

well, its also kind of our DUTY as white men to make more white children.

and i guess i could do that with white skanks, but i need to have enough money to take care of my white children. and basically i don’t want to be a white person using a NONWHITE REPRODUCTIVE STRATEGY. it does not BECOME white people to have HAREMS like goddam ARABS or BLACKS.  but we do need to be more dominant and stronger than arabs or blacks, so our women dont leave us for them. because we cant expect our women to have any race loyalty.

BUT if we can train our women…..couldnt we TRAIN them to the point where yes we CAN have some expectations of them? like train a woman to be racist. well, i believe you can train a woman to be racist, you can train a woman to be trustworthy, but you still cant train a woman to make good decisions or be super responsible.

so how do they have these high powered careers?

i mean there are women engineers and shit. you have to have at LEAST a 105 iq for that, even the women. i trust engineers to be smart and make smart decisions. so what about the female engineers? yeah they arent as smart as the male engineers, and yeah they are getting bonus affirmative action points, but i would say they STILL have to have at least 105 iq and be SORTA smart!!!!!

 

NOICE

really r/relships would be easily fixed by just getting MOAR MEN in there. its a god damn estrogen clusterfook which is really ANNOYING.

i just hate how they leave men in horrible ways. every damn woman should take a dumping 101 course. from her father hahahaha. view the end of the relationship as PART of the relship. learn to ACCEPT some RESPONSIBILITIES. show some GOODWILL when you break a poor guys heart. LET him be upset. tell im its NOT HIS FAULT. Respect that you are breaking someones heart. Tell him that no contact would be best. dont say lets be friends. he just wants to be WITH you. Respect the fact that you are PULLING THE RUG OUT on a person. Apologize. Feel BAD about what you’re doing. These are the responsibilities that go along with your RIGHT to end the rel whenever you want, single-handedly. it doesnt come for FREE.

ok. 44 minutes till they call me. sheeeeeit. i havent done anything interviewy for a MONTH. like 34 days.

yeah ive done a .5 “interview” 90 minute written test but no actual talking to people. i HATE talking to people. starting to get nervous.

i mean the worse that can happen is that i spill the spaghetti and sound like a retarded negro. then they just dont call me back. which is essentially the same result as all my other interviews. where i did NOT sounded like a retarded negro, but sounded pretty much like a damn NORMIE!!!!!! sheeeeeeit i COULD have soudned like a retarded autist and it wouldnt have made any difference!!!!!

but yeah i guess its GOOD to get nervous but i still dont like it because i AM being judged and i have to perform. and its a lot different than sitting there at a written test where you have 90mins to 2 hours to really sit there face to face with the test. the test is not judging you, and even the teacher doesnt REALLY judge you if you do bad. actually he wants you to do well, and will PROBABLY make some effort to help you if you put in some effort and ask him. not at all the same thing here. these people are putting you under the microscope looking for any reason to exclude you based on your verbal answers to questions. and the odds are stacked against you 10 to 1 going in. whereas when taking a skool exam, you have a PRETTY good chance of PASSING it!

with job interviews, you have an ALMOST CERTAIN chance of FAILING it!

BIG DIFFERENCE!

22 minutes. come on. 21. welp. i mean i can learn to use a mainframe. i can “learn” to do anything, meaning I can make a flailing, incompetent attempt at doing things, and then say yeah i did it. oh i did it wrong? i thought I was doing it right. whats the right way then? so sorry. I will stay an hour late today and give you a free hour of work to make up for my stupid mistake. so sorry master. and then go home and get drunk and beat my wife and kids hahahaha. that i dont have because women always dump me before i can beat them or impregnate them hahahaha.

BEATING THEM MAKES THEM STAY hahahaha.

18 minutes. sheeeeeit. sometimes when you get nervous you want to Beat Off just to relieve tension even though you are not really Horny Per Se, you’re afraid and anxious and nervous.

11 minutes. feel like an inferior failure hehehehe. real good attitude. looked briefly at linkedin and thought oh these fookin people. getting masters degrees and then getting careers that are in line with that. i just dont understand these NORMIES at all!

i guess this is the benefit of an in person interview, is that right now i would be there, in the suit, announcing my presence, focusing like a boss on the stuff. right now i am just freaking out and dressed like a slob at home. and typing in here 9 minutes before the phone call!

2 hours later

sheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeit that actually went pretty WELL, THANK GOD.

full 60 minutes budgeted by HR lady for Phone Call. impressive. I rambled a bit but was OK. because they said ok you are now invited to an actual interview with the tech manager on tuesday w00t w00t. with a damn pay near 40k and strong 401k matching and 15 days off and health care and MF days sched, etc etc a great bigboy job to get here. almost too good to be true. well ive have interviews with places like that before hehehe. the big 22nd interview.

and then while i was talking to them, voice mail from another place for an autism ABA job. called them back, got The Big 23rd interview. for this friday. now that is just a part time thing but they emphasized an in depth ABA training pogam for the tism. i should tell them i am The Tism Tickler and deal with Autist Sperg Virgin Neets on the internet erryday hahahaahahahahaha

really the job will probably be me wiping “autistic” negro chirrens asses hahahahaha with great struggling. they just wont bend over nicely and let me wipe their asses, they are gonna be running around getting shit all over the place including my face hahahahaha.

well tech that will be the 22nd interview? anyway my real goal is 25 interviews and i am very close now. 452 apps, 23 interviews.

and a damn interview tomorrow for fire extinguisher inspector hahahaha.

well the big thing is this “systems specialist” job with the mainframes. that is the new #1. nice to get these GOOD ones once in a while, although it is more disappointing not to get them. but its somewhat good for the confidence to know that i am IN THE RUNNING for actual good jobs with actual good companies.  the HR wimmin was impressed that i did 2 minutes of research on the company.

DO THIS. THEY REALLY DO LIKE IT.

I mean, I do it all the time. they LIKE it but they still dont HIRE me hahaha.

and i had a YUGE dream with THAT WOMAN last night. as in she was in it a lot, i was talking to her a lot. we were basically living in a dorm together, with at least 6 people living in a kinda big dorm room or mini barracks. she was my roomate. i was trying to talk to her and hang out with her and she was just being very very bitchy and showing no interest. this is normally not a big deal if shes a random woman. BUT SHES NOT A RANDOM WOMAN. and it is so painful to see someone who once cared about you and made time for you, TURN into an ice cold distant bitch. so that was the gist of the dream. as it is with most dreams i have about her. well i guess it is technically BETTER than nostalgically remembering the Nice version of her. and all i am left with is the Bitchy version of her.

super long post here huh. i didnt plan it this way i promise.

also did 14 pushups. did not do any job apps but fookit. had a 60 minute phone interview (counted as .5 an interview lasting 100 minutes for 60 min interview plus 40 mins prep), got TWO invites for actual in person full blown interviews, and also did prep work for fire protection interview tomorrow and printed the shit out. i feel i was prductive enough hehehe.

also did laundry. and just did 3.2 mile powerwalk.

so yeah finally felt a shred of confidence, which i only get after i have an interview for a decent job and i feel i did ok. so i feel confident for like 1 hour a month hhahahahahaha. its kind like how you feel like a BOSS after you bang a hot bitch hahahahahahaha. no, i mean “attractive woman.”

or for that matter, after you cuddle with some Boo or Bae that you Like Like and they give you warm fuzzies.

but yeah i felt last night before i had that stupid dream, i read a pretty good thread on TRS forum on women, and im not gonna paste it here, because that is officially grounds for BANNING hehe. but they were like yeah women are FOOKED but you gotta still do your duty white man. dont worry about finding a red pilled wife, just find a simple semi-conservative normie nonslut, and you can train her. have a strong hand.

and then i thought, shit, i was not strong at all. and if i had been really strong and played my cards right……i bet i probably could have made her TINGLE for me and get interested in me. if i had just had a strong hand. she wouldnt have lost all respect for me, and we would have lived happily ever after. fooked that ass 6000000 times, spent 1488000000 hours cuddling, and had a ton of white babies.  if i had only been strong. women feel totally differently about a strong dominating man, than they do about a weak pussy man. and i was totally a weak pussy.

so that makes me think, really it WAS all my fault, because if I had acted differently, I could have Got The Girl. it wasnt that She Decided we wouldnt be Compatible. if i were a stronger man, she would have decided we were (((COMPATIBLE))). sheeeeeeit.

so i hate That kind of guilt.

well i wont make that mistake again in the future hopefully.

but i may never luv a woman again. and the trs thread basically said, get used to the idea that you as a truly strong red pilled man, are never going to really LOVE a woman ever again.

 

 

CLEAR INSTRUCTIONS ARE FOR THE WEAK

april 11

where your job is like a constant test, and you have to study outside of work to prepare for that test. do homework for work. where your job is to FIGURE STUFF OUT but you have no idea if its right, and people are counting on you to make sure its right. you might be able to slap some shit together and bullshit about it, but how do you make sure its right???!!! you’d feel a lot more comfortable having a Higher Up check your work, approve it, sign off…..but there’s no time to do that.

i should have taken more valium on the job and tried to stop worrying so much.

even though i exercise a lot NOW, I still worry about THAT job too much!!!!! im not even there and i worry about it!!!

prob because I worry about being sucked into a similar job. like this help desk job that the recruiter is offering me right now. did it have to be help desk. aka service desk. aka technical support. aka CALL CENTER.

some tech people arent expected to resolve shit. they just ROUTE shit, transfer shit. there is actually a tier 0. wow. well, our tier 1 was more harcore than some companies tier 2. our tier 1 would try to resolve shit that in other companies would have gotten escalated 20 minutes ago.

other companies say, its a POLICY: go ahead and escalate if you can’t resolve this within 20 minutes.

i cant believe im still thinking about this!!!! it doesnt even concern me any more!

but i am legit worried abotu having to go BACK to such a job.

and i hate that SHE handles the job, I can’t handle the job, and she didnt say A SINGLE WORD to me when I left the job.

yep gonna have to discuss these things with the shrink tomorrow. and def what i should do about the potential upcoming help desk job.

its like taking a class where there is no instructor and there are no lessons, only tests. no textbook either. and whatever useful information you can find, is very difficult to find, and you dont know which information is useful and which is not, because you have no frame of reference. you do stuff in the documentation until a higher up says dont do that, the documentation’s wrong. well what DO I do then? sometimes you have to ask them that because htey wont tell you, and unless you’re working on that project right now, you’ll forget to ask.

ok, dont do this….then what DO i DO? the person is waiting on hold for me to DO SOMETHING!!!!! and i have no idea what to do!!!! should I just do something technical and bullshit about it? like run the Company Field Setup Script Program and be like yeah it just needs to set itself up again. yep pretty much. oh reboot your main computer that will fix it every time. memory issues. ntfs errors. cant be fixed. corrupt install. its not talking to the database. gotta rip it out and reinstall it, thatll fix it.

these “solutions” address incidents aka issues, but do nothign about PROBLEMS. they completely ignore root cause altogether. we needed a LOT more emphasis on Root Cause Analysis. and that needed to be written into the articles.

valentinas hot sauce from guadalajara mexico. its not fancy, there is probably lead in it. but it tastes real good. not expensive either, like 2 bucks a bottle.

ok its monday better start sending out the resumes. try to do at least 5 or 6. its amazing i have not gotten called for any interviews yet hahahaha. i will be very ready to go to gym at like 7 pm tonight.

Lathe Operator rejected for this position within 30 minutes to an hour. so many people work as Machinists and Machine Operators but these are the ones that reject me the quickest. well i respect their professionalism and expediency in rejecting me hahahahaha.

i might have been a pretty good Machine Operator hahaha. apparently they teach this in some high schools. so you can get out of HIGH SCHOOL and immediately start making 15 DAH at age 18 as a Full Time Machinist. Wow i can even imagine that world. that normie world. kind of like being in a real relationship with a woman for more than 3 months ahahahaha. where you hang out and cuddle regularly and they talk to you when they dump you and try to dump you nicely hahahaha.

ok mother fooker, got in 11 applications today, thats good enough hahahahahahahahahahahaha

you should have seen the 110+ questions I got from this other hospital system. there was ridiculous personality stuff but also just weird stuff that i couldnt decipher, but probably measured how much you need your HAND HELD and how many MISTAKES you make. basically, do it FAST, do it RIGHT, do it without HELP, and if you like clear instructions…..you are not a team player.

CLEAR INSTRUCTIONS ARE FOR THE WEAK.

also dont BUG your coworkers and especially your MANAGER with questions.

ASKING QUESTIONS IS FOR THE WEAK. ASKING QUESTIONS IS HAND HOLDING.

but work FAST on MULTIPLE tasks at the same time and dont make MISTAKES. you should have PLANNED better and not made those mistakes, without asking for help or clear instructions. just do the shit. show initiative and GET YOUR OWN TRAINING if you think you need training.

how can SHE do all this but I cant? how can normies do all this but I can’t???!?!?!?!?!

why dont the same hr experts who write these bullshit tests also write bullshit books for the perplexed job seekers that dont know how to do these things?

how do normies do their jobs? I wish I were as SMART and TOUGH as a NORMIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i wasnt taking the questionnaire seriously at all. maybe they can tell I was FAKING. hahaha

if i were an attractive young woman like her, i wouldnt have any problem getting a job hahahaha.

show me some SYMPATHY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

show me ANYTHING!!!!!

yeah i am kinda angry at her because I would have never even gotten that stupid job without her input hahaha. show show a little CONCERN for me when I QUIT the job. show a little concern for me when you QUIT Me.

now I never said that my quitting of the job was related to her. I was unclear about that, to her. I felt it would be Classless to say “I did this because of you.” so I of course never said that. that would be bad. that would look like i was blaming her. she didnt care if I thought she was blaming me!!!!! while I wanted to be CAREFUL to not BLAME her for anything. to her stupid idiot whorish face i mean. shit yeah it was her fault I quit the job hahaha. but i knew it would be immature and not entirely true to blame her. so i didnt. I just was circumspect and said yeah I am having some personal issues here and had to take a leave of absence. that would be a perfect time for her to respond and express some concern, but noooooooooooooooooo. she was THAT offended that I could POSSIBLY get horrible awful FEELINGS for her!!!!!!

well i wanted to get out of the job of course. but not like this! not like this!

hospitals will not even let you use Nicotene Gum. its a Nicotene product. not eligible for hire if you are chewing Nico Gum or using a Vape to try to Quit Smoking. Nope. Not good enough.

I mean yeah I could even pass a nicotene test. I would just worry about the desire to start Smoking more once getting a Job. Then you take Smoke Breaks of course hahahaha. at my previous job people would prob just quit the job if it became a nicotene free workplace. it was a very pro smoking environment hahahah. the work made people want to smoke like chimneys. oh god that was a horrible time, i need a cig after that one!!!!!!!

I tried to smoke no more than 3 or 4 cigs throughout the work day.

http://www.wsj.com/articles/SB10000872396390444812704577609413668058818

some bullshit about job personality tests bullshit

everything is bullshit hahahaha

jobs, women, the bullshit women you have bullshit children and create bullshit families with, its all bullshit hahahahaha

they say theres no such thing as dumb questions and that its a sign of strength to ask for help when you need it……

…..but ALL JOBS view asking for help as a sign of weakness and stupidity. this is probably why people hate to ask for help. because their jobs brainwash them into thinking asking for help is BAD!!!!!!!!!!!!!1

shit I wish I had saved a copy of these stupidass test questions. they really were measuring how you solve unclear problems without asking for help and without making mistakes. several at once. and quickly.

why dont they teach this in school? they really dont. I thought schools were supposed to produce good little worker bees making just the bare minimum so that they didnt riot. their jobs are their bread and circus. but nooooooo.

so yeah i am angry. she has no impact. no consequences. her life gets better and better. my life gets worse and worse. she doesnt care about any of this. she had no emotional investment. i mean nothing to her. she could just cut me out of her life SO EASILY. I didnt MATTER to her AT ALL.

that does not sound like the person I came to know and love! she was so kind and nice and good and nice! At that time, she was one of the NICEST people i’d ever met! I liked having a young woman be SUPER NICE to me. I like it when people are genuinely nice to me. and she was genuinely nice.

BITCH! BITCH! BITCH!!! hahahaha.

it would have been easier if she were just a disgusting whore. at least that I have prepared for. I have conceived of it. well she probably is in the process of BECOMING a disgusting whore.  who BECOMES a whore at age 24/25? .01% of women. like her hahahaha. i do pick unique women. they are horrible in very different unique ways hahaha.

UNIQUELY HORRIBLE hahaha.

BITCH! BITCH! BITCH!!!!!!

but she’s not REALLY a “BITCH”……….

yeah well fook you. maybe not but she was really bitchY to me, when it REALLY MATTERED.

its so fookin stupid. here i am at bla bla years old, cant handle the stuff that happens in LIFE.  LIFE@!!!!!!

god damn dumb bitch. you just dont do this to people. we had an important friendship or relationship, whether you want to admit it or not.

fook. it was like trying to find waldo……but you don’t know what waldo looks like.  day in day out. and you dont get any better at finding waldo. actually finding waldo is EASY. doing what we did was COMPLICATED. finding waldo is not COMPLICATED or CONFUSING. you just simply find the needle in the haystack. you know what the needle looks like. you know what the haystack looks like. imagine finding a needle in a haystack where what the needle and the haystack looks like keeps changing.

april 12

damn. rejection letter from credit union records representative job. looked like a great job with no excessive customer facing, and some precise tasks that probably had semi clear instructions hahaha. i wasnt hopeful, but….I felt like the job might be the closest thing to a “GOOD FIT” for a person like me.

come on mother fookers. i have about TWO HUNDRED college credits. hahahahaha. I am almost THREE TIMES as educated as SHE was hahahaha.

MUSIC IS FOR PHAGGOTS.  Real Men have too much stress in their lives to enjoy degenerate shit made by degenerate hedonist bipolar drunkards. more accurately, how can you Enjoy Music when you have much more Important, Big, Stressful, Adult Responsibilities to worry about?

I mean it seems like a soft, fluffy, bourgeois luxury. It seems IMMATURE. people who have REAL lives and REAL jobs and REAL RESPONSIBILITIES cant afford to WASTE their brains on MUSIC. It seems immature and degenerate, like MJ. youre wasting your brain and taking the low road.

I can see thinking this about MJ, but it seems SAD to think that about MUSIC! What’s WRONG with Music ?!?!?!?!?!

Well I would agree its not as inherently bad as MJ. but there are a lot of risks. you dont want to listen to degenerate shit like I did, like so many people do.  90% of music is degenerate and not worth listening to.

I thought it was COOL how SHE listened to a lot of MUSIC, music was a big common point with us. She really liked music, I really liked music, or at least USED to, and I knew enough about the music she listened to, to talk to her about music for hours. and she was interested in long geeky conversations about music. It was something we really bonded over.

Of course, she didn’t know shit about the trve kvlt black metal and a lot of the metal I enjoy(ed), but that doesnt matter, she’s a woman, I don’t expect or really WANT a woman to be into metal. big red flag there. when I was young I thought it would be cool to find a gurl who likes metal. now I realize it would be horrible!

anyway she would listen to music all day at the job because she was allowed to because she didnt have a phone job. I was jealous of all these people who listened to music all day and didnt have to answer phone calls all day. god damn soft music listeners.

then when I got moved to a non phone job, and had the chance to listen to music all day myself…..I couldnt do it. I was so worried about screwing up, that I felt music would be a huge distraction, and it would make me screw up.

when really it might have calmed me down. Made me worry less. soothed the savage beast. helped me go with the flow. and maybe that was what SHE got out of listening to music on the job. that if she didnt, she would be a basket case like me.

but I just couldnt “SURRENDER” to the music like that.

also the situation with HER was causing me worry and stress too. without that, I prob would have just llistened to music and done a non-perfectionist normie job.

BITCH! BITCH! BITCH! hahahaha.

getting into the hateful angry phase now haha.

degen music. lately I have been interested in type o negative. because I was a big fan when I was a young degen. So now I come back to those albums, and also check out the albums I missed: world coming down, and dead again. not really interested in life is killing me. gonna skip that one.

there are some great songs here, but again my mind is divided. I am too worried about other shit to really FOCUS on and GET INTO the music. For example, there is a ridic good Riff in the middle of the title song “world coming down”.  Catchy and black sabbathy, not really a “goth” part, but TON had plenty of Slow Sabbathy riffs as well, and this is one of them.

I really enjoy the riff and thankfully its repeated a lot, but its STILL not enough to get my mind off more important shit. like jobs and being an adult hahahaha. which is legit important!!!!

but when I have had a semi productive day, doing 11 job apps, then I’m in the Gym and just want to burn 1000 calories and try to enjoy some music…..then I would like to Shift Gears!

its kind of like how I could never leave the work mindset at work. always brought it home by worrying about it. studying it. obsessively. waking up in the middle of the night, thoughts racing about work confusion.

i didnt have ANY of this with my job before that!!!!!

shit i wish i had never left it.  then I would have had a better chance of getting the higher up job that opened up there like 9 months after I left. which I interviewed for, had a good chance at…..but did not get. lost out to a guy who still worked there. so if i still worked there, maybe I would have gotten it.

then when the shit hit the fan, I reapplied for my old job and wrote manager an email, but they never responded. probably because they know that I am too old to be working such a job, and that I stayed too long the first time! so giving me the job is ENABLING me in not moving forward with my life!

well, it’s better than being completed UNEMPLOYED, and it was better than the other job. but the other job was more serious. more of an adult real job. well fook it. i couldnt handle it.

yet SHE can!!!! BITCH!!! BTICH!!!!

I HATE being WEAKER than HER!!!!

she is TOUGHER and STRONGER than me, and doesnt HAVE to show the weak piece of shit any kindess or sympathy and luv! the weak don’t DESERVE luv from the the strong!!!!!

strong men also cry lebowski hahahahahaha.

multitasking. you better have at LEAST TEN browser tabs AND TEN documents open at all times.

yeah I would have about 12 browser tabs open: intranet, case notes, a second case notes, knowledge base, main employee homepage, employee lookup tool, this other tool, another tool.

about 5 excel sheets in there.

a couple pdfs.

a couple of text files.

hehehehe even NOW I have like 10 text files open at all times::

what to say during the interview

job search notes (places applied, brief cover letters, ideas, addresses, references, etc)

cover letter april 2016

resume april 2016

unofficial undergrad transcript

questionnaire for prospective wife

positive affirmations about self

user names

general post it notes overflow (computer desktop sticky notes)

passwords hahahaha

ok some of those i dont really need open at all times. i admit it. im a fraud hahahaha. i could close some of them which I havent used in weeks.

but on the job, you NEVER know when you are gonna get a call and need one of those files. best to have it open. unless it really slows your computer down. because even though RAM is cheap…..it still costs money. gotta trim the fat goy.

shit I will buy my own RAM if it speeds up the shitty work computer. just like I buy my own pens and post it notes and notecards and notepads!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

well you can do that but you cant put anything into the computers goy

when you END a relationship, try to do it in a way that you can be not angry or ashamed about it in the long term.

maybe she feels terrible guilt, and she will express that by being a whore.

express it by being super nice to the NEXT guy and making him a lucky man hahaha.

be super nice to shitty men, and be super shitty to nice, good men.

well she used to be super nice to me, and I was a nice decent guy. that was nice.

it was like we had something SPECIAL. hahahaha.

when you have something SPECIAL, you dont throw it away like garbage. you are sorta sad when it ends.

REJECTED from data entry specialist / admin asst job. second rej letter of the day hahahaha.

ITS SO HARD NOT TO BE A JOB HOPPER!!!!!

I just saw a warehouse posting that said “THIS IS NOT THE KIND OF COMPANY WHICH HIRES JOB HOPPERS. You MUST have 2 years of recent experience and be able to provide letters of recommendation from managers” hahahaha.

its so hard NOT to be a job hopper!!!!!

ok got my 10 jobs in today. 3 were at the same place hahaha a large health care org.

the best revenge is to live well. so now i feel like i COMPETING against her to live a better life, IE have a better job and make more money than her. And I feel THATS a losing battle too. I can’t have HER, and I can’t have as much success and money as she has.

she is not some kind of Lean In Leader Bosslady with wharton mba either. no ivanka trump hahaha. She is not getting Phds or Masters degrees like some other bitches I pseudodated. She is an MJ smoking, sort of white trash, wrong side of the tracks, fatherless, passive, quiet, introverted, shy, and I have literally 3 times as much college as her hahahaha. she is terrible at problem solving, and communication, and making decisions, and being a leader. yet she can brutally reject me, AND live a better life than me. damn. i hate that.

SHE JOB HOPPED TOO!!!!!!!!!! SHE QUIT JOBS SHE DIDNT LIKE!!!!! she went crazy and quit jobs!!!!! just walked away!!!!!! but not sure if she ever did that after age 20 hahahaha.

i did it at age 23, then again at age 30+. got a DUI at age 26. was unemployed for much of age 24 and 25. which is the age she is now hahahaha.

this is the textbook definition of wasting your 20’s hahaha. I would have liked to be married and have at least 1 kid by now!!!!

well she will be getting her layoff soon. so she will either use the time to simply find a new and better job; and move up up up; its so simple and easy for other people but not me, when you have emotional problems and a 9 month gap and a job hopper and just huge red flags. i have huge red flags but not her.  I really was a VERY GOOD employee at my last 2 jobs. I went crazy at my job but I did VERY GOOD at it.

BITCH! BITCH! BITCH!!!

no im not gonna DO anything crazy or stupid or psycho. I am just calling her a BITCH! BITCH! BITCH!!!! I might not be entitled to much, but I AM entitled to that!!!!!!!

I may not be entitled to much of anything……but I am entitled to THAT.

trying to fit that into meat loaf song hahahahahahahahahhahaha

wawawawawawaw she might even get that joke because she knows enough music to know that meat loaf song. most women her age wouldnt wawawawawawawa. i would make awesome jokes all the time that went WAY over their heads. like with the bitch that became a successful phd professor. she didnt get my jokes AT ALL.

well it IS hard to make jokes that arent bitter and hateful against women hahahaha but I still have a few.

bitches give away HUGS promiscuously, they give away their CVNT promiscuously, etc, its all the same. just give their bodies away to anyone. thats why i dont like women who are always hugging everyone. might be a indicator of a slut. not always but sometimes. wawawaawawawawawaw she was not a big hugger of everyone, she hugged very exclusively, she even only hugged me just a few times but oh lord how I longed to cuddle with her!!!!!!!!!

I have been a lot more productive, which is good…..but i havent been any less hateful against HER. like oh she has a good job and she handles her job and SHE makes 15 DAH and I make 0 DAH etc. and she can throw me away AND be more successful than me, but I am 3 times more educated than her, I have actually a lot more job experience than her, and better traits than her in communication and brains, but she is WAYYYYY more successful than me. in an ideal world men wouldnt even be competing against WOMEN for money and jobs. its so unnatural and wrong. only in such a degenerate Jooified world is something this degenerate and morally reprehensible possible!

Men should be Making Families with Women, not competing against them for MONEY! SHEKELS!!!!!!!!!!

gee GOY I wonder who could be behind this??!?!?!?!

WATCHA DOIN, RABBI??!?!?!?!?!

Hey I have been virulently counter-semitic since 2012 at the latest, it has nothign to do with being totally rejected by HER.

if anything, it had more to do with the rejection from the previous woman, where I said fook it, I dont care about not looking racist any more.

overall, that was a MUCH less painful and destructive rejection. a much, much BETTER rejection. i am not angry or hateful over her, in fact I am probably actually OVER her COMPLETELY, 4 years post rejection.

WOW THAT WAS 4 YEARS AGO??!?!?!?! well almost. 3.5 right now.

yes that was a much better rejection. she handled it very well, very maturely. she SPOILED me hahaha. i dont hate her, not angry at her, totally over her, i dont even care that she is a successful health care admin making 70 grand a year minimum with her masterz degree. good for her hahahaha. maybe her lesbian wife can stay at home and raise the kids hahahaha.

but I am angry when women who reject me outperform me career wise. I get over that anger in the long term but in the short term it sucks. like urrgggg that idiot is making so much money and respect than me! they dont deserve it!

in her case she really doesnt. to her credit shes not a total moron and she is a decent worker. but im not gonna give her any CREDIT, she didnt give ME any credit!!!!!!

yeah the company sucked and set everybody up for failure, you had to fight tooth and nail like I did to get anywhere. she doesnt have that Aggressive nature. not that I wanted her to be aggressive. I liked her to be sweet and gentle. I mean I am sweet and gentle too, but I was OBSESSED when it came to learning that stupid job. she was not nearly as obsessed. she didnt have piles of flashcards and pages of notes and she didnt study after hours.

shrink suggested she was very good at COMPARTMENTALIZING. leaving the work stuff at work. but she also Compartmentalized ME, and that did not feel good to me. nobody puts baby in a corner. just put me away in my box on the shelf. along with the work stuff. we used to be outside of work friends. really love being downgraded, demoted.

if youre gonna do that to me, at least talk to me about it. have enough respect and courage to appreciate that the person is gonna be upset, and that YOU are the cause of that.

i mean dumping isnt inherently bad, but it IS gonna hurt the dumpee, and the dumper CAN handle it bad.

also, abandoning somebody without a word IS inherently bad.

woman2012 handed the dumping like a CHAMP. woman2015 handled the dumping abysmally horribly.

dumping is not inherently bad, but it IS ALWAYS PAINFUL, and ABANDONING someone IS inherently bad.

what a great lesson. never could have told you that without going thru this hahahahaha.

i am being sarcastic hahaha.

HOLY SHIT I just got an email from the main mutual friend I had with THAT WOMAN. I hadn’t talked to mutual friend in ages but I was using them as a reference lately, PERHAPS in some subconscious effort to provoke THEM to contact ME< which they did, and I gave a “brief” version of the story. the mutual friend noted unprompted that she does not see that person at all any more, that she may “have a new group of friends.” this is not confirmed, and might just be the mutual friend being upset about being abandoned hahahaha. not confirmed that That Woman abandoned the mutual friend………but I wouldnt be surprised.

 

TOUGH ENOUGH TO MAKE 24 DOLLARS AN HOUR

apr 4

OY VEY. I had an IT Recruiter call me about a Help Desk Position with a company that many people left my old company to be Help Desk people with this other company.  The recruiter told me a rather nice starting wage and mentioned something about 3 MONTHS of training…..really??? “so they are not gonna throw you to the wolves.” “thats good” i said. you know how I feel about training! the more the better, and most companies dont do any!

BUt I was so conflicted about another damn CALL CENTER position that I sent an email Being Honest about my Reservations about Call Centers and how that was not a good environment for me. I completed the online tests, complete with 34 question Technology/IT test; and the classic Sample Call Center, CRM, choose the best answer test; and a pretty good actually Call Center How To Phrase Things Test. what should you do or say in this situation. and i think i did pretty good at that. I new exactly what they were getting at. not because I was trained, but because I picked shit up myself pretty good. but I didnt’ like it! the CONSTANT NERVOUSNESS is something I don’t want to experience again, and I think that came from being In A Call Center, where your job is to TAKE CALLS, and it could be about ANYTHING, and the person could be chill, or not.

Its like Call Centers, specifically Technical Support Call Centers, are the Factories of the Current Year, that is, a place where an unskilled College Dropout can get a 15+ DAHJ and afford to be a grownup, maybe have kids.

SUCH a price you must pay! because it is an absolutely insane environment that still gives me the chills ahahaha. waiting for the phone to ring, answering the phone, being nervous all the time, if you weren’t so nervous, maybe you could think smoother, and you need to think fast and sound confident at all times, and always be doing weird ass complicated stuff. the stuff in the simulator test was only 1% as complicated and technical. and then struggle with shit for 20 minutes, an hour, some calls even last 3 hours. you just want someone to jump in and help you, work along side you, but they give you the worst help ever: a chat room where they say do this. what happened. ok now do this. what happened. you are dying for them to ESCALATE, save me from this!!!! I can’t fix this! HELP MEEEEE!!!!!! I’m drowning!!! but they dont want to escalate because there’s already too many cases in escalation and not enough experienced people to fix them, and also callers don’t really like escalation because they want the shit fixed NOW, not in 72 hours.

maybe this place would be better. it actually paid MORE and it gave MORE training. so maybe I should have said hell yeah sign me up.

Well, I did my tests, answered some questions from them about the exact stuff I used, updated the res.

If i had a lot of god damn CONFIDENCE I would have said SHIT YEAH sign me up for this bigboy money!

but i have no confidence. but I will have no confidence for ANY job.

but I REALLY have no confidence for a god damn tech support call center, which people call HELP DESK. the recruiter never used the word “CALL CENTER” but I knew it was. I had heard of the place. And it probably is better than my old place. or is it? all I know is it deals with health care and your callers are doctors and nurses and shit. hahahaha so I would be troubleshooting the god damn EPIC software. Make it do this. rebuild the intersystems cache database, my patient is DYING!1!!!!! what do I tell the patient? i don’t care, let them DIE, you figure it out. The software is WORKING AS INTENDED. well it sucks. yes i know it sucks. yeah let me forward your suggestion to the development team. NO there will be no followup, because i’m lying to you, we’re not really sending anything to the development team. They just don’t take suggestions. I mean they don’t even throw suggestions away. That’s what I do. You tell me your suggestion for them and I’ll throw it away, becuase they wont even let me send it to them. I dont know HOW to send it to them.

now, because THAT BITCH has no problem working in a call center, she could go there and make even more money.

oh shit, this is my chance to outshine THAT BITCH, so I could make more money than HER and be more successful than HER. I should have thought of that before I told them, “THANK YOU, but I do not do well in call centers hurrrr durrrr”

I completed all my tests they registered me for and requested MOAR TESTS for anything they could place me into somethign that’s not a CALL CENTER.

but yeah it would be nice to make more money than THAT BITCH and not have my life destroyed by her any more.

but DOES IT HAVE TO BE A CALL CENTER?

DID IT HAVE TO BE SNAKES?

sitting there in a tiny cubicle, the god damn headset, the god damn metrics, all the other losers like you talking on their headsets, frowning and going crazy, drowning. the nonstop ringing, the phone program that tells you exactly how many calls are waiting, the little popup that says “QUEUE HAS EXCEEDED ITS SERVICE LEVEL!!!!” meaning you have too many calls holding, and the goal was for them to understaff the place just enough so that bubble would always pop up. you don’t want too many people sitting around NOT ANSWERING CALLS for 15 DAH. Yeah it sounds like a good deal………but it’s just a living hell. MAYBE 20 DAH. at LEAST. no this new place was not paying that.

some people are better at it than others. some people dont mind it as much. she was one. I wasnt. although my technical skills were way better. doesn’t matter. in the end, your People Skills and your Keep Calm and Carry on Skills are MORE important than your technical skills.

maybe if i were trained at a young age in Help Desk work. like in grade school. so that I could do it in my sleep now. but i wasnt hahahaha.

THERE ARENT ANY JOBS THAT ARENT IN CALL CENTERS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

heh. i wonder how the factory workers of the 50s and 60s and 70s would have fared in the call centers of today.

will I REGRET turning down this Opportunity? maybe. hahahaha. but just THINKING of a call center makes me sick. so I can’t be TOO angry at myself for saying, ya know, I have very cold feet on Call Centers. I can talk on the phone, I can service customers, I can take some calls, I can make calls, I can make decisions and think quickly…..but call center is a bridge too far. because it’s taking the worst of all worlds and pushing them to their extremes. it is like getting skullfooked and mindfooked all day, then going home and studying because you feel like every day is an 8-hour EXAM you’re never prepared for.

you dont simply click one button in the CRM and get all the information. or click one button and get company policy. you have to DIG through 90000000 different sources to find something approximate that may or may not help you. you just dont know enough if it will. you feel like dr nick riviera performing brain surgery in front of the worlds best brain surgeons.  you look and feel like a fraud at all times.

well this si true of ALL jobs, not just call centers hahaha. I wish skool had prepared me for this. I thought skool was supposed to churn out good little unthinking worker bees, cogs in the machine. well its super fookin HARD to be a cog in the Help Desk machine.

well its done. I had to make a decision and then sent an uncomfortable email. I said thank you and please give me more tests and I took the tests you want and did ok on them, but call centers are not a good fit, i could do data entry or assist a sysadmin (i dunno, I DONT KNOW WHAT I DONT KNOW, you would know better than me what kind of jobs YOU are getting requests for, but why don’t you just make me GUESS about the details that are relevant to YOUR job), but call centers nope.

I guess if I get more confidence by age 39, I can always apply directly to that place. they are always hiring. tons of 17 DAH Jobs always for the taking!

Just shows you how bad people hate call centers hahaha. it’s EASY to get a 17 DAH in one, while it’s IMPOSSIBLE to get an 11 DAH job anywhere else!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I say age 39 because at 40 and above you are DONE. UNHIRABLE. might as well use the SMITH AND WESSON RETIREMENT PLAN (aaron clarey, the “technical J”. He’s ok but too hedonistic, nihilistic, degenerate, and mgtow for me atm.)

is RIDING THE TIGER the same thing as ENJOYING THE DECLINE?

IMHO, NO ITS NOT. because you’re not necessarily enjoying riding the tiger. you just do it to survive. but you dont say DAMN THIS KALI YUGA IS SWEET!!!!!! you say, dear god give me strength to ride this tiger as long as it is kicking, because I really want to make it OUT of this shitty kali yuga!!!!!

i could do the simulation call center activities! in fact i wish there was more advanced stuff like that! but the toughest simulation is easier than the easiest call! it’s not a good indicator at all. yet RECRUITERS use these tests to get people JOBS. what bullshit recruiting is!

I took this other personality test called the Acumax Index Survey.  You get a page with about 50 adjectives on it, 50 checkboxes. it asks you to check the boxes for all of these you think OTHER people PERCEIVE you as.

then you get the same 50 adjectives again, this time you pick the ones you see YOURSELF as. I picked the same ones. making myself seem like a normie.

the company seems like a bullshit scam and I cant believe theyre in business. recruiting and HR. what BULLSHIT. and this is what WOMEN work in.

i mean the acumax company. and the companies who USE it are fookin SUCKERS getting scammed by a test that tells you nothing. “it has covert items which measure how the respondent is WIRED in their brain” says the CEO. YEP. wow. This guy is probably great at BULLSHITTING, he’s built his life on his bullshit. but his bullshit is so shitty, i dont know how he sleeps at night. in a fooking mansion in a safe neighborhood with a beautiful 20 year old wife.

apr 5

you didnt have to luv me back. i just wanted you to care about what happens to me. care that I was having a tuff time. care that I was having a problem WITH YOU. care about what I am doing with my life hahaha. Care that I suddenly left the gd JOB.  care about my life and my pain and.

but because it so closely involved HER and she didnt want it to involve HER, she just ignored it.

how is this so hard to get through my head hahahaha. people ignore and avoid difficult conversations.

asking why to every response is a great way to learn about shit.

but isn’t WHY just an explanation? and arent EXPLANATIONS ARE FOR COWARDS? realy youre just asking the same thing as the client/caller/customer. explanations arent always for cowards. most times theyre for genuinely concerned or interested people who want to know why things work. or they can at least give some sort of credible excuse to the person whos angry or disappointed.

ITS NOT AN EXCUSE, ITS AN EXPLANATION!!!!!

how come they dont teach any of this in school??!?!?! also customer service 101 book doesnt teach it.

the stuff that is MOST useful on the job – NOT the technical skills, but the customer handling skills, like how to give bad news, how to bullshit, how to explain when you don’t understand, how to stretch the truth, how to cover your ass, how to cut corners, none of this is taught or spelled out. probably because its the Dirty Big Secret, and either you accept it and figure it out….or you don’t. because why would the higher ups want to ADMIT to these negative sounding things. plausible deniability. they don’t want to admit that what theyre doing is BULLSHITTING and cutting corners and making up excuses and giving people the runaround. but they do these things because…..thats what you gotta do to survive. but no ones gonna teach you.

unless you can get ahold of a trusted person outside of work over Dranks and get them to tell you the Truth. this is totally doable. this is your best bet.

and also writing your own bullshit phrases on your off time and practicing them.

http://www.amazon.com/Perfect-World-Survival-Guide-Technician-ebook/dp/B004NNVDQA/ref=sr_1_3?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1459867148&sr=1-3&keywords=technical+support+jobs

i looked for books which the perplexed help desk level 1 lost soul might actually learn something from, and this is the best thing i’ve seen. i wish they had real books about this and not self-published kindle books, but the sample chapters prove a very high quality and very good theme. like how to actually survive in the trenches with the reality of the job.

how does this have NO reviews? I have jsut read 2 pages and while I’m sure the book isn’t perfect, I am wanting to give it 5 stars for even coming CLOSE.

is there a pill which strips you of ALL emotions, including fear and anxiety?  be able to approach the toughest situations with tough people and just NOT CARE? not get flustered?

“I apologize, but I just don’t have an answer for that”, is one of this guy (steffy) responses. And he seems like a pretty smart guy.

its just frustrating. that a very large field where you actually can make a living, there are no resources for learning the nitty gritty of the job. words of wisdom from experienced mentors. i’m not saying they have to be at your workplace. i’m just saying they should exist and write books. also eli the computer guy on youtube is another good one. i dont care if he’s a J. the poor level 1’s need all the help they can GET. also it’s helpful to take that sneaking J’ish approach sometimes.  doubletalk and misdirection.

i dont care about the interview and getting the job. help desk is about the only job where its EASY to get the job. they hire anyone becuase they know most people wont last.

the people who do last can sometimes actually make a good living. like that BITCH. how does she survive? doesnt she CARE that I didnt survive? show some grief for your fallen comrade in the trenches!! remember when your BF helped you when you were starting out? what if he dumped you right then and there?

heh there really should be a help desk boot camp. at least 8 weeks where you are trained on those “soft” skills which are really the hardest of all. how to explain this shit. how to figure this out on your own. how to actually DO your job.

no dont just read the knowledge base article. it SUCKS and YOU KNOW IT.  this is a complicated problem and i dont know what to do. what do I DO. ok, thanks for telling me I have to uninstall the antivirus. but what do i DO NEXT? that’s the resolution? just live without an antivirus? doesn’t our company mandate you must use bla bla antivirus? and you couldn’t even buy another one if you could? who’s gonna pay for the new antivirus? how do you explain to their manager that he has to pay for another antivirus because for unknown reasons, the company antivirus doesnt work at this locations computers? i dont know why. you just gotta pay.

like i say, these are not easy questions you need to figure out. how do you convince that manager to pay money because something that should work, does work in 99% of locations, does not work in his, and you’re not going to fix that, but just tell him to buy another one. isn’t there a deeper problem here? and what if that doesnt work?

uhhhh good questions. that would be better for a level 2 or 3, but you’re not gonna talk to them.

i want her to get slammed with so many ridiculous why why why why explain this explain that questions that she damn quits.

heh. no help for the helpers. just give me a book by a veteran of the field because the people at my job dont help me, and i can’t figure everything out on my own. give me some kind of words of wisdom please. train me. HELP ME.

well what do you need help in?

EVERYTHING!!!!!

hehehe maybe its a good thing I said no to that help desk job.

but it would have been a concrete way to prove i am BETTER than THAT BITCH!!! therefore allow me to get over her once and for all hahahaha.

wheres the help desk FOR the help desk? (its SUPPOSED to be level 2 and 3 etc, but they mostly suck.) wheres the tech support FOR the tech support?

so you find the nice, helpful, non sucky level 2s and suck them off. or the more experienced level 1’s who really know what they are doing. I latched on to a few and I was gradually BECOMING one, and then BOOM. shit hit the fan.

that fooking bitch hahahaha.

well she’s latching on to a few of her own, maybe she’s fooking them as well, the whore. she fooks them, takes it up the ass, takes it ass to mouth, and in return she gets help when she really needs it.  fooking disgusting whore.

no she doesnt do that. she probably just blows them in the parking lot and gets jizz on her pretty face and hair.

hahaha not too long ago she would think of blowing someone in a parking lot is absolutely disgusting, slutty, something she would never do.

i dunno i have no proof of any of this.

the average american makes TWENTY FOUR DOLLARS AN HOUR ?!?!?!?!?!?!?!??!?!?!??!?!?!?!??!?!

I would LOVE to be average! where are the books and mentors for the people to be tough and make tough decisions and bullshit their clients to such a level that they make THAT much money?

i wasn’t TOUGH enough to make 15 DAH!!!!!!

how am I gonna be tough enough to make 24 dollars an hour?

average people are!!!

fookin average normies. reeeeeeee normies get out. this is no place for NORMIES.

ok. there are other books for like police officers and emt’s, and people who have to be cool under pressure and face the unexpected.

funny that i was making more as a help desk level 1, than a god damn entry level EMT. this is fooking sad. i couldn’t even become an EMT right now, you need schooling and license which i dont have. I would have to take like 60 credits I dont have.  just to make LESS money than I was making. which is sad. these people are saving peoples LIVES every day!!!!

hehehe and THAT BITCH will do well in the field and become a manager making 50 DAH because she is good at rejecting people. or, rather, rejecting people without conscience.

but she doesnt even have to talk to them on the phone, she just livechats. says no this cant be fixed goodbye.

and she couldnt even write ONE TEXT to me saying sorry I dont want to know you any more goodbye.

hahaha. actually i would have follow up questions, same as now: do you hate me? did i do something wrong? can i fix this? pleaseeeeeee i beg youuuuuuu i’ll changeeeeeeeee. please give me another chance. do you care about me as a human being. do you care that my heart is broken?

so most people aren’t cut out for the MILITARY, but the military supposedly gives you good character building skills, for being cool under pressure. and leadership. getting the job done. accountability. yet military people are having trouble getting jobs?

hey just get a job in a CALL CENTER! getting the job is EASY! even I can do it!!!

we had PLENTY of ex military people. shit I can think of at least 5 right off the top of my head. army, marines, air force, you name it, we had em. and these people were very good performers, great people skills, did not get flustered.

WAAAAAA! I THOUGHT YOU CARED ABOUT ME!!! I THOUGHT YOU CARED ABOUT ME!!!!!!

that CVNT!!! If I cant make a living, she shouldnt be able to make a living!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! bitch!!!!!!!!!!

i am WAY smarter and a WAY better PERSON and WAY more MORAL than she is!!!!! i deserve to do better than her in life!!!! not WAY worse!!!!!! bitch!!!!! hahahaha

ok here’s the dsability bullshit again, this time from mckesson health bullshit:

VOLUNTARY SELF-IDENTIFICATION OF DISABILITY Form CC-305
OMB Control Number 1250-0005
Expires 1/31/2017
Why are you being asked to complete this form?
Because we do business with the government, we must reach out to, hire, and provide equal opportunity to qualified people with disabilitiesi. To help us measure how well we are doing, we are asking you to tell us if you have a disability or if you ever had a disability. Completing this form is voluntary, but we hope that you will choose to fill it out. If you are applying for a job, any answer you give will be kept private and will not be used against you in any way.

If you already work for us, your answer will not be used against you in any way. Because a person may become disabled at any time, we are required to ask all of our employees to update their information every five years. You may voluntarily self-identify as having a disability on this form without fear of any punishment because you did not identify as having a disability earlier.

How do I know if I have a disability?
You are considered to have a disability if you have a physical or mental impairment or medical condition that substantially limits a major life activity, or if you have a history or record of such an impairment or medical condition.

Disabilities include, but are not limited to:
Blindness
Deafness
Cancer
Diabetes
Epilepsy
Autism
Cerebral palsy
HIV/AIDS
Schizophrenia
Muscular dystrophy
Bipolar disorder
Major depression
Multiple sclerosis (MS)
Missing limbs or partially missing limbs
Post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD)
Obsessive compulsive disorder
Impairments requiring the use of a wheelchair
Intellectual disability (previously called mental retardation)

Please check one of the boxes below
YES, I HAVE A DISABILITY (or previously had a disablity)
NO, I DON’T HAVE A DISABILITY
I DON’T WISH TO ANSWER

END OF THAT BULLSHIT

Hehehehe

that bitch was good about job searching though. she would blast out resumes and applications to shit she was nowhere near qualified for. I look at postings and think I DONT EVEN KNOW WHAT THIS IS, HOW COULD I FIGURE THIS OUT WITHOUT TRAINING, and then dont even apply. she is TOO DUMB TO CARE and applies anyway then gets the job when she presents herself as a Nice Woman. She really does present as Nice. she used to be REALLY nice to me. thats why i liked her so much. i liked it when a woman was NICE to me. shes just a fookin COWARD who drops the ball and really disappoints you.

HOW DO YOU ask the client WHY DO YOU WANT TO KNOW? I would ask the level 2 a clarifying question on behalf of the caller, and the level 2 would say WHY DO THEY WANT TO KNOW? then I would go back to them after leaving them on hold for 5 minutes, and say, UH, WHY DO YOU WANT TO KNOW? Ok let me put you on hold for 5 minutes again.

does it really MATTER why they want to know? because they’re entitled to an explanation.  also it’s a tough question to ask. it sounds rude as fook. So I would soften it and say uhhmmmmm could you tell me a little bit more about your thought process here, i want to understand your needs to understand, is this in reference to a specific question or case, and I am being guided by my level to try to get a better picture of what your desired end result here is, and your expectations of this information, bla bla bla. not WHY U WANNA KNOW.

that BITCH, on the other hand, would have no problem chatting with them: “WHY U WANNA KNOW.”

you cant say “my level 2 wants to know, i told him why do YOU need to know, i really went to bat for you against these bastards mike, but they aren’t backing down, they’re busting my balls, making me jump through hoops, so now i gotta make you jump through hoops, so just tell me anything. i told him already, because he’s got a RIGHT to know why, thats why he wants to know, smart guy.”

because then they will want to talk to the level 2, which can’t be done.

cant do that mike, I can put in a request that a level 2 calls you back within 72 hours, but can’t guarantee it will get approved.

best thing to do is to research the problem on your free time, learn it, understand it, and call him back on your free time. cant do it on work time cuz you dont get paid for learning shit, you get paid for WORKING ON shit.

and quality is surprisingly not super oriented to how shit gets fixed. because that is hard to measure!!!

well they measured was the case really closed, or was it reopened. but it always could have been started as a new case. the quality people dont really know if you did the right or the wrong thing, because shit is so complicated and theres “more than one way to skin a cat” as they say.  so how can you prove you did it right. well the problem appeared to be fixed thats how. nothing is fooked here dude.

that bitch! I thought she CARED about me!!!!!

well i think she DID, she just wasnt BRAVE enough to SHOW it.

on the WARPATH today, applied to at least 8 jobs

theoretically you should applied to about 30 jobs a day, every day, so you can get to the minimum 10,000 job apps needed to get hired to 1 job. 10,000 = 100 apps for 1 interview * 100 interviews for 1 job = 100 * 100 = 10000.

QED!!!!

whyd you leave me hahahaha

shit i am now using a 3 page resume. well, in the .txt file there are no page breaks. but if you put it into a 12 pt font in word it is 3 pages hahaha.

my interview file:

WHY is a very important question. It is a good mental exercise to ask WHY in response to every answer, so we can really get to the ROOT of how something works. And expert knowledge of our product and services instills confidence in our clients and allows us to work more efficiently.

However, sometimes asking WHY is NOT efficient. Sometimes it’s the exact opposite. Sometimes asking why is a MONEY PIT, where we throw time, money, and resources into a sink, never to get them back. This is why it’s necessary to always to a cost benefit analysis, and determine if knowing WHY gives enough benefit to justify the cost of finding out why.

Sometimes it’s simply not worth it to figure out why. We just need to take note of the pitfall, and understand it is what it is. It can be frustrating to those who want to know WHY everything works, but we have have these IDEALS tempered by a realistic business sense: sometimes it’s just not worth it to find out why. It costs too much. It’s not a positive ROI.
I’m able to power through learning curves quickly by getting up to speed as quickly as possible. I put in the extra effort after hours to get up to speed on new knowledge and technology and hit the ground running while at work, rather than wasting time at work learning how to do things. Sometimes you must sacrifice your personal time in the pursuit of EXCELLENT. I have a COMMITMENT TO EXCELLENCE.

THinking AHEAD. Incomplete information. Sometimes you don’t know what’s SUPPOSED to be “OBVIOUS” because you aren’t as familiar with the subject as the client is, but the client isn’t actively offering information. You need to ask PROBING QUESTIONS and act as if you are mapping an uncharted territory. Ask every possible question you can think of. It is better to have too much information than too little. You can always disregard extraneous information later. Think what information you might possibly need at future steps, and ask the client NOW, so you have all the information you need, and probably more, up front. This is preferable to needing information in the future at a short notice, and the client/contact is not available.

I am HIGH ENERGY and Enthusiastic. I like to think of myself as the GUY FIERI of Machine Operators / Talent Acquisition Assistants.

hahahahahahahahahahahahaha what a boldfaced LIE. I am the lowest low energy sad sack you have ever met. but all employers want HIGH ENERGY.

motherfookers that work with HIIPAA for YEARS spell it motherfooking HIPPA on their god damn public indeed resumes!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i think its HIPAA but it DEF NOT HIPPA!!!!! yes it IS Hipaa confirmed. and these are people that work steadily for years in doctors offices and make at least 15 DAH!!!!!! maybe even have CHILDREN!!!!!

hehehe jobs and applying for jobs is frustrating hahaha and then sometimes i get angry and say THAT BITCH!!!!! thinking about her making all that money, and her being happy and successful, how she can just get away with ruining my life hahahaha.

ok fine she’s entitled to her feelings but im entitled to mine, and i wish she cared about MY feelings even a fraction that i cared for HER feelings!

i cared for her feelings a lot! she cared for my feelings and me, NOT ONE BIT!

i mean come the fook on. appreciate that its not a crime for a man to get feelings for a woman! its not a CRIME! when that guy cheated on her, that was bad! getting feelings is not bad! maybe she just thinks anything a man does is BAD! well i cant MAKE her respond to me.

its just SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO disappointing she couldnt say ANYTHING.

well what if she said you are a betrayer, you are a horrible person, i hate you!

well then I would have to convince myself that isnt true. but I would at least know how she felt. maybe it would be easier to laugh it off and say HOW WRONG YOU ARE.

MACHINE OPERATOR, search that. TRAINEE. will train. assistant. application analyst. entry level.

us post office resets their job postings every 2 weeks.

put as many names of programs and technologies used in your resume as possible. brands, programs, tools, equipment. software. CRM’s, ERP’s, CMS’s hahaha KMS, whatever. anything that wasnt strictly in-house. anything and everything. fancy things in windows you used. like if you ever used the event viewer or cmd line or registry or even just the task manager. computer management shows all that stuff. except for processes hahaha. and services. i never knew the diff bw a service and a process even though i worked with them every day and probably bullshitted a bullshit answer to some caller who asked me that very question,

she didnt have to be HAPPY about me liking her. thats fine. i just wanted her to treat me the way she used to treat me: like a valuable person she cared about. dont have to be happy but dont get SO BUTTHURT ABOUT IT. its not such a godawful horrible thing. its not the fooking end of the world for you. for me, OTOH, it is.

so stupid. i can’t believe any of this happened. so gay. i learned nothing hahahaha. well, other than blurt it out when it is starting to cause trouble, AND the bitch refuses to hang out with you EVER. even if she has valid “explanations.” then write her an email or talk to her at work.  prepare a 30 second statement and give it to her in 30 seconds.

the weird thing was we saw each other every day at shitwork, but she REFUSED to hang out with me outside of work, even though we used to, even though that was an expectation of Being Friends like we were. I was just confused as fook. why couldnt you hang out with me EVER. one hour. make time for me. you used to. we used to make time for each other.

well because  you knew i wanted to say something and have a difficult conversation that you didnt want to have, and would do ANYTHING to avoid having that conversation.

well WHY did i WANT to have the conversation?

because its better to have difficult conversations than avoid them.

but I didnt NEED to have the conversation. I could TELL she didnt want me. so just accept it.

but when you are in luv, you become a FOOL, and hope against hope, and ignore subtlety, ignore evidence to the contrary.

MACHINE OPERATOR

INDEED MY SEARCHES

you can see all your search terms for like a year.

index/match is the alternative to vlookup and probably the more useful and powerful (index/match that is.)

tell them you know how to do both and then learn. or pretend to learn hahahaha.  no one is going to teach you but yourself, and no one can tell you that you are right or wrong, until somebody loses a fookload of money in a few months and looking for someone to fire. you. for getting the answer wrong.

its like doing math problems and you dont have an answer key or a teacher or someone who can check your work, so you never know you’re doing it right. until you get fired for doing it WRONG. hahahaha. this is so stupid.

you know you’re doing it right, if someone hasn’t come back to you in…3 months? and told you you’re doing it wrong hahahaha.

if you ask someone to check your work, you get a reputation as someone needing their hand held, cant do your own work, slows the team down, cant work independently, cant make decisions, cant pull their own weight, drags the team down, looking to lay them off.

 

 

 

 

 

WHEN YOU GET DUMPED IN A TERRIBLE WAY, YOU WORRY THAT YOU DID SOMETHING TERRIBLE

1111

WHEN YOU GET DUMPED IN A TERRIBLE WAY, YOU WORRY THAT YOU DID SOMETHING TERRIBLE.

that you are a terrible person, who did something terrible, to force the person to dump you in such a terrible way.

it is very bad for the confidence of a secure normie. it is DEVASTATING for somebody who is not super secure/confident. you always want to blame yourself. WHAT DID I DO THAT WAS SO BAD? you think you HAD to. that nobody would dump a person like this if they didn’t deserve it.

ESPECIALLY if that person didn’t seem like the type to do something like that ever. and she didn’t seem like that. so yeah i blamed myself. i was too this or too that.

http://love.allwomenstalk.com/worst-ways-to-dump-a-guy

” Texting is easier than having a face to face conversation because you aren’t directly confronted with the other person’s emotions. Because of this, sending a text may seem like the easiest way of telling the former man of your dreams that your relationship has become a nightmare, but ending it with a text message tells him that what you once shared means so little to you now that he isn’t even worth a phone call.

there’s also one on AVOIDING as well.

this is coming from a super girly source too. even women think this is bad. theoretically.

http://teens.webmd.com/features/how-to-break-up-with-someone

medical experts at webmd advise Teens to break up in person, don’t do a text, you want to avoid “arguments and tears” so you’re tempted to avoid them, but dont do it! that is very disrespectful and even more hurtful! (i concur. i would have LIKED even a text!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/07/18/how-to-break-up_n_1662647.html

even shitlords at huffpo say DONT “become invisible.”

eh. its been about…..115 days since we “broke up” and about 85 days since i sent the last email.

maybe when she Like Likes a guy, she DOES have sex with him without even knowing him, within 1 month or less of meeting him, like all the other average damn whores hahahahahaha.

but yeah we actually had something special for a while. from about….. i dunno, how about summer 2013 to fall 2014. even though things were good at the very beginning, it takes TIME to really get to know and trust somebody; also near the end, she had just checked out and i didn’t want to believe it.

http://kidshealth.org/teen/your_mind/problems/break-up.html

basically every expert or pseudo expert says dont text them, dont avoid them, try to be nice and not hurt their feelings, because why would you want to hurt someone? you wouldnt want to be hurt. put yourself in their shoes! empathize!

http://www.puckermob.com/relationships/6-ways-to-break-up-with-someone-without-emotionally-scarring-them-for-life

https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/fulfillment-any-age/201410/whats-the-best-way-you-end-relationship

they start mentioning the research study

” University of Kansas psychologists Tara Collins and Omri Gillath conducted a series of studies to test out a 7-strategy relationship breakup measure and then, in turn, to examine which strategies worked more effectively than others”

” In general, if you were to pick the best relationship-ending strategy, it would be open confrontation, and if you wanted to pick the worst, it would be either avoidance/withdrawal or distant/mediated communication. ”

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/men/relationships/11794484/Is-there-a-right-way-to-dump-someone.html

http://www.academia.edu/3377721/Everytime_We_Type_Goodbye_Heartbreak_American_Style

http://gillab.ku.edu/

oh lord gillaths psych lab on intimate relationships, should been a phd student at kansas hahahaha

http://www.academia.edu/1467823/Attachment_breakup_strategies_and_associated_outcomes_The_effects

the actual paper mentioned, gillath collins 2012

http://www.eharmony.com/dating-advice/relationships/how-to-break-up-without-breaking-your-partners-ego/#.VkNlr7erTIU

decent article from the rel “Experts” at eharmony

“While breaking up can be awkward, if you keep your boyfriend or girlfriend around just because you dread the breakup conversation, then you’re just going to wind up becoming bitter toward this person for not taking the hint. She might fool herself [himself hahaha] for quite a while that the relationship is working because she’s blinded by love (or fear).”

good job guys.

so yeah i keep hoping she will see the light and come back to me and say im sooo sorry i was soooo wrong, but that is extremely unlikely, that never happens, she is probably enjoying life and getting fooked by exciting guys she just met. this is what women call ADVENTURE and EXCITEMENT and not being BORING. is code for they want to be a huge slut and ABUSE AND DEFILE the Natural Function of their Babymaker.

why cant i be a slut? because you can get pregnant, and pregnant is a big fookin deal, YOU IGNORANT SLUT!

women are so brainwashed/stupid they dont even realize that getting pregnant is a big deal.

i think this is a consequence of feminist marxist brainwashing and also wide availability of the pill and abortionz. if you took away abortionz, women would be a LOT more SCARED of getting pregnant, and they WOULD be less slutty.

yeah it sucks that we have to manipulate them through FEAR….but i don’t think anything else would WORK!

was i needy? yeah a little. i was texting more and inviting more. but i WAS trying to limit myself so as not to be NEEDY. and i dont think its NEEDY to want to TALK. however i should have just said WE NEED TO TALK. usually that means someone is gonna get broken up with. if i had said that, she prob would have dumped me right then and there. but at least it would be talked about, and would happen sooner rather than later.

but yeah i just have a type, i like women in their 20s with long legs and pale untanned pasty white skin. and nice Apple Bottoms on their long legs. long legs usually go along with long arms and long fingers. i just really dont like stumpy legs, arms, fingers. is that such a problem. BUT THATS SEXIST, YOU SHITLORD!!!! that is a form of RAEP towards non body normative wxmxn identified!!!

heres my jewish buddy dr omri gillath phd on youtube giving a lecture hahahaha he does not have a lot of vidyas

oh god a tedx talk on marriage 2.0 by a woman, certainly she must be advocating ((((((( POLYAMORY )))))))) hahahahaha.  take all the dicks! abort all the babeez! no im not sure what she says. i actually want to listen to this one.

so yeah. i still want her to Come Back; which still tempts me to contact her and beg her to come back. of course i know that is a terrible idea! but i wish i would stop WANTING this, just ERASE her from my mind altogether. damn.

if i made a new female friend who was even better than she was, i wouldnt be able to get feelings for her……because my feelings for THAT PERSON are not OVER yet. i have not gotten over her yet. and you cant have feelings for a new person, NO MATTER HOW AWESOME THEY ARE, until you have gotten over the previous person.

that was partially why i did not get feeligns for HER right away!

its just simply hard living life without her becuase she was so important to me. a big part of my life. and i told her, gave her big hints, specifically telling her in writing in december 2014 at the latest: “you are very important to me, i care about you a lot, we have been friends for a while now, and i only appreciate you more and more, i hope we can become even closer in the future, and spend more time together. you mean a lot to me and are one of my favorite people.”

i told her that in december 2014. in writing. in a ridiculous crimmus card. that i think she said made her cry. whoopee. anyway i laid it on pretty thick there, didnt come right out and say “I LIKE YOU” but i had never really said things like that to her before, so it was clear there was a change, that i was putting more into the rel. so i wish she had responded to these ideas at all. like if she said “I FEEL THE SAME WAY!!!!” that would be a very good sign.

she could have also said “does this mean you like like me? lets talk about this. it looks and feels like things are changing. lets hang out over crimmus away from stupid work and have a nice heart to heart talk” hahahahahaha

people get FIRED ALL THE TIME even when they are working their hardest, because they cant meet ridiculous demands from management. produce more and more and more with no training. oops, not good enough, youre fired. your best isnt good enough.

YOUR BEST IS WORSE THAN OUR WORST, hahahahahaha

had a weird but not horrible dream, where i and some friends had won a vacation to what seemed to be a super luxurious hotel resort in vegas or something. not the type of thing i really care about, but it was interesting and not unpleasant. the main thing i remember is that bob dylan was just hanging out in like a kiosk in the middle of a stream of people, and he played a version of a newer song, not sure what, or if it was even a song, in bob dylan style, and nobody recognized it, but he looked right at me and winked and pointed at me, because he knew i knew what the song was. then i went around boasting that bob dylan had pointed at me.

weird because im not a huge bob dylan fan. OR a modern music fan. so if he played a cover of a modern song, i would prob not know it. plus people usually do covers of bob dylans songs, not the other way around. this made no sense. UNLESS bob dylan is a symbol of another Elder Statesman Iconic Singer Songwriter, which was the Big Event which was the last time i talked to That Person. now this person i like much more than bob dylan. and i remember a story where this person played a cover version of some retarded top 10 song last year.

now ive always liked this artist and always will, but unfort have to take a break from him because he reminds me too much of HER. and i am kinda mad at HER for ruining HIM for me. how ridiculous. my rel with HER essentially ended at a concert of a very iconic singer songwriter. not bob dylan tho hahahahahahaha. but a guy who came like 5 or 7 years after dylan.

hey if you want to get out of this rel, TELL ME. i obviously DONT want to get out of the rel, thats why I keep trying to make it work.

women dump you because they get in an argument with you and it never occurs to them that you can work it out by talking about it, trying to compromise. theyd rather throw you away and pick someone else. its PAINFUL to be DISPOSED OF and REPLACED like that. you might not be super awesome like drake or whatever, but you know you’re not THAT shitty!

no i hate drake hes a huge n199er f4990t hahahahaha.

heh i looked up the place my male friend from the job worked at before, and he said it sucked and the current place was better, which i found hard to believe, but sure enough there was like 15 google reviews saying “THIS IS THE WORST PLACE EVER, TERRIBLE SERVICE, THEY ARE INCOMPETENT, GIVE US LAME EXCUSES, DONT DO THEIR JOB, NEVER RETURN CALLS OF EMAILS. WORST COMPANY EVER.” i noticed they were hiring for a job that looked like his old job hahahahahaha. what do you do when your company doesnt want to be held accountable? he said he was pretty much told to like or make up stories for the callers and he didnt like that and i dont blame him!

its amazing that businesses can be run like this and dont go out of business QUICKLY. maybe its a front for black market money laundering hahahahaha. that would be one logical explanation. cuz they sure dont seem to be providing value for their customers.

angry customers, who are RIGHTFULLY angry, and you just blow them off, pass the buck, dodge all accountability, becuase everyone from top to bottom is incompetent, and no one is accountable. just put the lowest people in impossible position, fire them, force them to quit, hire another lost soul like me hahahahaha.

google how to lie to a customer hahahahahaha

https://www.americanexpress.com/us/small-business/openforum/articles/the-7-most-common-lies-customers-tell/

customers lie; customer service people lie; everybody lies;

http://www.forbes.com/sites/lizryan/2015/07/22/i-lie-to-my-customers-every-day/

” i lie to customers all day every day, because that is what the job requires me to do” yikes

http://www.cbsnews.com/news/lying-to-your-customers-come-on-everyones-doing-it/

yikes

http://www.thesalesside.com/3-situations-ok-lie-customer/

did a 5 miler

yeah i was def OVERBEARING and too INTENSE and too much to HANDLE and too NEEDY to her, so it makes sense that she was overwhlemed and didnt know how to handle me, didnt want to handle me, just wanted to avoid the situation and hope it went away in time.

why was i so intense and needy to her?

because i was in LUV with her!

why was i in luv with her?

because i knew and trusted her and had a foundation with her and she was very special and important to me. i valued her.

why did i know and trust and value her?

because we had been friends for a long time.

why had we been friends for long time?

because we got along well and very naturally.

why did we get along well?

becuase we were on the same page and had a lot of similarities.

why were we on the same page?

i dunno, because we had similar values and similar personalities. now it starts getting circular.

so basically the root cause is, we were SIMILAR. we had a lot in COMMON. we could relate to each other very easily.

and then that stopped.

well i dont think we STOPPED having a lot in common! we still had a lot in COMMON, she just didnt want me to be in love with her. fine thats fair.

and yeah i didnt need to luv her SO MUCH…..but i have always been desperate to luv a woman, to get a gf, etc.

but yeah i dont think she MEANT to THROW ME AWAY, she jsut wanted to AVOID me because she didnt know how to DEAL with my intensity. but it still FELT like getting thrown away! and that hurts intensely!!!!!!

i could have reduced the intensity by just _________________ . you guessed it, BLURTING IT OUT MONTHS EARLIER. ABOUT 5 MONTHS EARLIER EVEN. 150 days.

but yeah i read stuff i wrote before the big change, and i wish i could go back to those simple peaceful days. i truly did not have deeper feelings, it was totally not killing me, i thought about her sometimes but not a lot, i wanted to Bang other women. then i started wondering well why NOT, why am i NOT attracted to her? then she became single and started dating a new guy, and then i had damn feelings and everything changed and now i CANT STOP thinking about her. before i fell in luv i NEVER thought about her this much.

i wonder if she will find a good man and get married to him, of course she certainly COULD, ALL women CAN before they get too damn OLD. or will she do what her mother did and have dramatic, not very long relationships with The Wrong Type Of Men. Deadbeat Badboiz. well, she (That Person) had a long rel with kinda a badboi. where she luved him more than he luved her. but he never cheated i dont think. he was just distant and not very luving.

like why do not companies fix the equipment their workers need to get the job done? like have not enough forklifts, or broken down forklifts, in the LTL less than truckload distribution centers where pallets need to be moved in and out of truck trailers. they do not want to spend the money to fix a lightbulb let alone a TRUCK that is FALLING APART. because it COSTS MONEY to FIX YOUR EQUIPMENT. holy shit. its stuff like this that makes me furious.

i have no idea how companies like this can stay in business, how their customers dont leave them for the competition. cuz this company treats their employees like shit too of course.

today i thought of another woman i used to work with and how she was attractive, in her 20s, and i wouldnt mind banging her. then i thought, wow, just a young womans naked bod pressed up against me would be good, BUT it could also trick muh oxytocin into firing up and getting feelings. i blame the oxytocin. how can you kill your oxytocin.

WELL, WOMEN SEEM TO DO IT BY HAVING LOTS OF S WITH LOTS OF GUYS. THE C CAROUSEL.

so, have S with a lot of women then.

however that is hard to do for a man! only a few top alpha men like roosh v are actually TIRED of banging TOO MANY cute young gurls!

roosh has got it all out of his system and he is FINALLY focusing on more important things, like The Future Of The West. He only had to bang 9000000000000000 cute young girls to get there!

i only had to bang 1 hahahaha. and get muh heart totally REKT a number of times.

ive never worked a proper POS cash register, just the shittiest cash register. i never had to count muh own cash register, i never even had a computerized POS that had credit and debit cards, shit. so now i am using google to train myself SELF TRAIN on how to do a pos.

MW, MGTOW video i seem to have overlooked

Todd Magnusson 1 year ago (edited)
I don’t think MGTOW is extremely bad, but not an end all-be all for “red pill” men.

I got to give it to Rollo in his book The Rational Male, 12 years of research and he nails it down pretty well— The problem is primarily male and social imprinted. We let ourselves believe women are romantic as men. Men saying to a girl “you are so romantic,” said no man ever. The belief that women share the level of idealization of their partner that men do is far from reality. I know this first hand because the first girl I ever loved to my core, was the one I loved more than myself, and even a decade later still love deep down, but the truth is its a delusional pursuit. Loving a girl more then yourself is like putting the cart before the horse. Girls and women want to be lead, want things to be asserted, not do lead and be asserting.

Men must hold themselves higher, never get too comfortable, never sell their dignity down the river, never give all their heart to a woman. Their always has to be plates spinning, and I think some men just don’t feel the effort is worth it, and frankly I don’t blame them, most women aren’t worth it. No man enjoys always “keeping frame.” That is why there is MGTOW.  ”

yeah buddy