FAT SLOBS, PIGS, DOGS, DISGUSTING ANIMALS

oct 27

note: BMR means what calories you would burn if you LAID IN BED ALL DAY DOING NOTHING. but since even fat slobs, dogs, pigs, disgusting animals, lazy negros, and lazy NEETS all get out of bed and lumber around at least a little bit, you will then burn like 100 calories just walking back and forth to the toilet and foodbag. and therefore lose weight IF you consume no more than 1500 calories at a BMR of 1500 calories, which for my danny devito esque frame, is appropriate.

i found a woman i am 95% sure is andrew anglin’s sister. she is referred to as “Ms” as late as 2016 and is 30 years old. I wonder if I should try marrying her hahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha. i mean this stuff is all out there, i will just say she appears to be a christian counselor much like his/their father is. hopefully she has a better reputation than the father, who has a ton of sleazy sex scandal rumors. but i fully respect andrew anglin and i would be very willing to give his sister the benefit of the doubt. i wonder what his rel is like with his family. i mean i think his father manages his USPS mailbox. which in itself is kinda amazing. he could be like you take that address down right now or im disowning you. even better, i will TAKE the THOUSANDS of dollars people send you. he obviously hasnt done that.

i dont care if andre has a Rich Daddy, he and im sure his sister turned out all right, and andrew is doing GODS WORK. whatever degeneracy is in his past is more than made up for by this.

yeah 99.9999% sure its a sister. maybe a cousin. definitely an anglin. hahaha. she is doing an MSW program and wants to help children. COME ON. WHAT A NICE WOMAN.

oct 28

adam and mary gray, good morning white america podcast, very promising White Pill Comfy Podcast between a happily married, pro-white husband and wife who have at least one kid and prob more.

to us black pill cynical hateful neet virgins, it sounds a little “syrupy” or the most cynical might even think it sounds “fake”…..but i dont think its really “fake”, thats just us haters desperately wanting to believe that True Lasting Mutual Luv is a Jooish Lie. There are tons of Jooish Lies, sure, but White Luv is NOT one of them! But adam and mary’s Strong Rel will make lonely foreveralones angry and sad that they/we can never have something like that hahahaha.

or you can choose to look at it positively, like yes there are good women out there.  i would recommend that.

went did social thing last night as ive been talking about, it was good fun, glad i did it. i just tried to be nice and not too weird and just smile and be nice and laugh and say thank you. i wanted to buy people drinks but i did not take enough initiative as needed unfort. Fort no one seemed offended by me not buying drinks.

basically went to a stage production which i would show no initiative to do myself, would basically take a woman for me to do something “FUN” like this. well the one guys GF was instrumental here. they are in a longterm rel and did the event last year. i used to be very suspicious of her but now I have warmed up to her. I mean she’s got her issues which will always need to be managed, but I dont think shes a rotten degenerate bitch at heart hahahahahaha. not at all! in fact she might be similar to me in Crippling Social Anxiety, but that sort of stuff does not damage women as much as men hahahaha.

basically there was a stage show with comedy and banter and songs and silliness. Gay AF. from a distance, i would say, oh jeez, this is some degen swpl jooish bullshit, totally pozzed degeneracy. but on the whole the vibe I took out of it was just Pure Fun and Silliness with not nearly as much Degen Pozzed Jooish Antiwhite Poison as I feared. even though the author of the musical is a Joo. there was nothing blatantly jooish, well…apart from a few homosexual bromance sort of jokes, and beautiful young women prancing around in not enough clothing, leaving their beautiful 22 year old bodies open for the hungry, thirsty gaze of the entire audience, as the beautiful 22 year old BFA grad enjoyed every second of attention on her perfect white body. and i was a very willing participant as well. i liked her pale white skin and long legs. also since I dont watch jooish porn, or go to jooish titty bars, or go to jooish beaches during the summer, or have jooish casual tinder secs, I really don’t see that much Female Skin ever.  really its on par with a young QT gurl wearing a “bikini” at the beach…………and that is MORE than enough for me!!!!!!!!!!!

but i wouldnt call it SUPER degenerate, and it didnt lessen my enjoyment of the show. I just would have preferred that she wore a little more clothing during those scenes. and thinking of this beautiful young 22 year old woman’s personal life, pursuing a Career as an Actress, taking lots of Dix, being a Liberated Woman, etc, that is sad and degen more than any of the material in the actual show. again the show was very well presented so I was able to enjoy the entertainment and Social Bonding value in the moment.

there was also a Niceguy Beta Male character which I liked, and they really played up that angle. Big Bald Spot, pasty belly, desperately orbiting the girl, getting no respect from anyone, total aw shucks go eat worms type niceguy, who has a moment of despair, followed by a bit of redemption where he gains some confidence.

i thought, how is all this NOT MORE degenerate? jooish author, homoeroticism, musicals are inherently gay………

BUT I think musicals are also inherently fun in a way that other Narrative Forms are not. I mean the whole goal is to have fun, and there’s not really anything too political or poisonous. like you would see in a movie or tv show.

also the fact you can see the actual real people up there makes a difference.

i mean i’ve always been SOMEWHAT fascinated in the idea of musicals as a pretty legit form of entertainment. like pure entertainment in the strictest sense of the word. in a way that is more innocent and nondegen than other stuff.

which is not to say theres not some degen musicals out there. like rent and avenue q and all that shit.

ok what about rocky horror picture show. theres a good example. there is degen, jooish af shit in there like dildos and trannies…….but still the overall tone is suprisingly good clean fun. its very UNTRIGGERING and COMFY, totally unlike going to a Tranny Kink Parade or something.

SOOOOO we basically need a 1488 Musical that blatantly promotes White Culture and Values in this fun, comfy, white pill, unrustling, untriggering way, that leaves the audience feeling good af about whites and being white, and white families and white children and the 14 words.

i mean its FEELGOOD is a good word for musicals, its very feelgood in a special unique way, which i think is a big value add hahahaha.

maybe think of the sound of music, if the ebil nazis were not the bad guys ahahahahaha. but the good guys.

so yeah i mean a 1488 musical makes PERFECT sense to me. talk about love and honor and family and you could have some more dramatic musicals but id like to start out with some more lighthearted feelgood and maybe even slightly silly funny musicals.

really i should indulge my latent interest in musicals more and just watch classic shit like i dunno sound of music and west side story and the pirates of penzance and whatever.

also i regret not participating in that shit in high school and kollige. it can give confidence to unmanly weirdos and then they can pull Drama Musical Sluts like the beautiful girl in this one hahahaha. i mean these people fook each other like casual degen negros…..but i would have totally done that during ages 16 to 22 if it were freely available to me. anyway i think i could have had some fun, built confidence, and got some experience with women doing that stuff.

particularly during college.

i actually DID do some stage stuff in high school, but it was very half assedly. i basically did background singing and dancing which really did not help me too much with the wimmin, even though i was partnered with wimmin. they all had boifrans and i had no game hahahaha. in hindsight i should have tried for bigger roles. pushed out of the comfrot zone.

and ESPECIALLY done something like that in college, who cares about high school. but i didnt do ANYTHIGN like that in college unfort.

yeah i mean the women this shit attracts are drama queens and sluts…..but it becomes a lot easier to deal with the drama queens when you have banged a lot of them hahahahahaha. or at least i think that it would.

i guarantee you that banging that 22 year old gurl would boost ANY mans confidence.  i mean that perfect female bod should awaken and stir something in any red blooded man.

now when i say perfect, i dont mean unattainable whatever bullshit jooish media perfection of “airbrushed” women and women with “eating disorders.” I simply mean women of a HEALTHY BMI who are blessed with a pretty good shape: long legs, good skin, nice hair, not an endomorph potato shaped body. thats all. the end.

admittedly, less than half of women are genetically gifted with long legs and a non potato body!

yeah in fact the 22 year old girl last night could have safely gained 10 pounds and still be beautiful 8.8/10!

i briefly thought of That Woman and how I would have loved to see her body that same way this totally random strange gurl was showing her body to a crowd of people. That Woman I think would have been a bit “thicker” in parts, and that was PERFECTLY fine by me. again, it all boils down to Long Legs and general body shape. that is totally my type. unfort thats EXTRA hard for a short-legged, potato manlet like me to pull.

POTATO MEN NEED TO SETTLE FOR POTATO WOMEN

hahahahahahahahahaha.

and im not talking about irish hahaha.

sheeeeeeeeeit. rejected for ANOTHER mail clerk job. isnt the first but hopefully its the last. it STINGS to be rejected for MAIL CLERK! like I said recently, its those jobs that seem more in REACH of your goal of being AVERAGE, of making 13 bucks an hour, when THEY reject you, its like damn, maybe it’s too high to be AIMING FOR AVERAGE. that’s too much to ask for.

not asking for 36k a year! Im asking for 26k a year and getting REJECTED for it!

never mind that a 35 year old man should be making WAY more than 36k if he wants to have an Average Life with Wife, Family, and Home!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

so yeah. i dont think i need to spend an hour arguing how and why a musical would be a great genre to use for Wh1te P0wer and 14 Words. it could well be dramatic, but my personal priority is to do something more silly and funny, just cuz thats how i prefer my musicals. i mean i cant take anything SERIOUSLY when they are SINGING SONGS in their “regular life.”

exception is “dancer in the dark” which…..”subverts” the genre and its comfy innocent feelgood way, in a perverse despairing way only lars von trier could be capable of. but i find that movie genuinely moving and one of my LVT favorites.

but yeah the movie takes this inherent feelgood aspect of The Musical and turns it 180, giving you one of the saddest, heartbreaking, feelsad movies of all time. which of course held a lot of appeal for me.

Wrangler® Men’s Advanced Comfort Relaxed Fit Jeans – Dark Indigo

21 dollars incl tax, free shipping, target.com baby. free shipping till end of 2016. get yourself some Gr8 Jeans for a Reasonable Price. I should really buy like 5 pairs just because I will be sorely disappointed when they stop making these jeans like 5 or 10 years from now. these are the far and away #1 best jeans ever. period. very very principled alt right pro white 1488 traditional jeans.

so what are some good musicals i could recommend for the white family. like i say, even something totally degen like rocky horror can be enjoyed by Radical Traditionalist White Nationalists, but I of COURSE understand that we need something that is less degen.

ok didnt they make monty python holy grail into a musical, spamalot or some shit. try that.

well in fact, the movie itself is technically a musical!!! and silly as shit!!! and not terribly degen!!!! so yeah go back and watch holy grail while cuddling with your waifu. meaning of life is great too.

dont know why i am all interested in andrew anglins sister. better than being interested in THAT WOMAN i guess. i mean the anglin woman is no spring chicken, she is like THIRTY years old. hey stillyounger than me, still somewhat fertile. well plus everyone in AA’s family is a Counselor/Therapist, which I think is interesting. but they are all christian therapists, which is extra interesting. i could understand if AA wanted to rebel from CHRIST during his youth……..but I could equally understand if he wants to Come Back as an older man. also the damn rumors about his father doing degen and unchristian things with the ladies. does that mean his sister would do degen things with men????? i hope not!!!!!!! And its nice to see what appears to be a sweet kind woman talking about loving children and helping children and all children are a gift from God and all that. its like DAMN WHY dont you have some children of your OWN????!!?!?!???!?!!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

well i’m sure she WILL. someone who luvs children that much will PROBABLY find a way to have at least ONE child. but obviously i think a nice white woman like her should have at least 3, and its ridic to spend your career helping children, when you could be HAVING your OWN children.

its nice seeing a woman who likes children. i mean why SHOULDNT a woman like children. MOST women do, i think. It’s just REALLY disturbing and disgusting when a woman goes out of her way to signal that she DOESNT like children, or Never Wants Children. An Antinatalist Woman. you see them on reddit relships hahahahaha. yeah that is really triggering to me. antichildren women are just unnatural as fook to me.

and yeah i wonder about the personal and family lives of the men I admire, and I admire AA for what he has done, and wonder how he became the man he is today.

plus he has a reputation for being harsh on women, but i am the same way. i have the same Huge Doubts in women that AA has. The same ISSUES hahahaha. I dont want his issues to keep him from getting a good woman. i wonder how his family has led to his issues. his sister seems like an example of a great woman, but his father is a rumored Womanizer who is very good at Manipulating women. How does his mother feel about all this? how does his sister feel about it? are his mother and father still together? how true are these rumors?

i mean i dont think he’s ever had any CHARGES brought against him, its just a lot of clients complaining about him on the internet.

and being a therapist allows you to have a lot of emotional intelligence, be good at establishing a very intimate repoire with people, talking about their deepest issues, so its easy to see how a charming man could exploit that. and equally easy to see how a good decent god-fearing person could use that to really help someone too.

so why didnt andrew follow in the family footsteps then?

and I really dont think andrew would be comfortable talking about all this in a public interview. and he doesnt have to be. this is really private stuff!!!!!!!!!!!!!

also HOW religious are they? they are some kind of protestant, and those people run the gamut. i am only familiar with catholics. i understand catholics a lot better. feel a sort of kinship with them, like a lesser tier of race.  i guess i should really aim towards marrying a CATHOLIC gurl then eh? its not a priority the way marrying a WHITE gurl is an absolute set in stone must.

so what i really wanna know is, did she bang a lot of guys in liberal arts college, and did she bang brown bobby hill looking hondurans when she worked with The Poor in honduras for 3 years (i think kind of a religious GOD angle there).

i cant see a white gurl banging ugly short indio men, the same way i can see white gurls banging Secsy Black Bucks.

and if they do, i can just laugh them off. the women that is. i just dont see squat brown men as a legit, real, viable threat to our women the same way i see Black Men. Because I’ve seen actual good looking white women poached by black men. i take it very seriously. sheeeeeeeeit That Woman liked a Black man over ME. I was outcompeted for someone I considered Extremely Important, by a sleazy Black man. OF course this hurts your confidence, self esteem, and makes you god damn suspicious of white women and black men.

although it didnt make me racist. i was racist WELL before that!!!!!!!!! hahahaha

 

well hes 26, still a very young man, you know how 26 year olds are, you cant be expected to be mature at that age hahahahaha.

so i am 10 times worse because I am 35 (hehehe) and have a high school degree and a college degree hehehehe. i feel guilty though and try to do things for muh fam, give back to them, and also i am doing a lot more job searching effort than this guy hahaha. i have done 27 interviews and applied for 486 jobs hahahahahaha. plus i go to my shrink regularly (once a month) and take muh meds every day. and i dont play vidya, i’ve lost 33 pounds in 2016, i buy as much of my own shit as possible and stuff for the fam.

but yeah these are the kind of guys i want to HELP. and they pile shame on the guy. all these fookin successful normies that can get an keep a job becuase of their good attitudes. hey i try to fake a good attitude during all of muh 27 interviews, i try not to seem entitled and negative. i try to seem like the perfect positive employee. onyl thing is a get nervous and and trip over words when trying to tell Stories of Times When. and i am not Electrifyingly Charismatic. but Uncharismatic people all have jobs!!!!!! how do THEY do it? they worked at it and became charismatic enough to do well in interviews.

well, getting the job is one thing, keeping the job without PanicQuitting is another!!!!!!

(reddit where OP doesnt know how to respond to an uneducated persons TRANSPHOBIC slurs, ie referring to transition lenses as “trannies” ) ”  I love this reply. An alternative response to bigotry/racism/misogyny is to say, “You must be so embarrassed you said that.” And then move the conversation on.
Another solution to inappropriate jokes or remarks is to feign confusion. It makes them have to explain it which both entirely drains the joke of any humor and exposes their racism outright if they attempt to do so. All you do is keep calmly asking “Why?” and watch them become more and more flustered.    ”

REALLY? you fooking morons with your “post graduate” degrees and “exciting, fulfilling careers”.

NO Im NOT embarrassed I said those disparaging things about blacks, women, j00s. and yes I will mansplain it to you: because TOO MANY of THEM willingly act like disgusting savages and refuse to take any responsibility for their abhorrent, degenerate, disgusting, nihilistic, immature, destructive, toxic, negative, abusive, shameful behavior.

fooking reddit. this triggers me just as much as BIGOTRY triggers them hahahaha.

great now i stalked this beautiful young actress for like 20 minutes. turns out she went to christian high school and continues to Luv God probably into the current year. i wonder how it makes jesus feel when she shows her perfect 22 year old body to leering, lonely 35 year old men. but yeah maybe her Faith has kept her from being a slut, meaning she’s been with less than 10 guys before age 22!

hehehe. why am i so JUDGEMENTAL of women, just brutally judging and calculating every aspect of them? because im TRYING TO FIND A WORTHY VESSEL OF MY SEED, TO BE THE MOTHER OF MY CHILDREN. I wouldnt want to be throwing PEARLS BEFORE SWINE.

so shes been wiht only 10 guys. i mean she’s good mother of my children material just for being so damn beautiful, and for loving God. i mean its USUALLY a good sign when a young grill openly declares her luv for GOD.

ok gonna give boortzum ways of yore another cahnce.

wish he had just used real instruments instead of his wifes apple computer hahahahaha.

just wish he got rid of that electric harsh noise and just used real piano, real strings, real horns, real winds, real orchestra, real lutes and xylophones and whatever.

but i like the idea of calm chill music specifically written to Celebrate The European Soul, which this explicitly is. “BURZUM: USING MUSIC TO PROMOTE EUROPEAN CULTURE”. fook yeah! sign me up for that! buncha phaggots saying yeah ummmm ok wacko, go jerk off to some vikings. but i am 1488% with varg on PROMOTING EUROPEAN CULTURE.

and yeah the papyrus font is RIDICULOUS but he’s been attached to that for years.

and he seems to be making more videos, like almost one a day, and being more creative with them, like making mini documentaries, which is great. getting better at presenting his important thoughts and also creating very entertaining videos, responding to the fans, etc.

all the people, oh he made great music before prison, but hes crazy and deplorable.

NOPE. I agree with Varg 99% on his social, political, ideological, anti-jooish, pro-white views. i dont agree with his christians suck, k1ke on a stick views, but thats almost not even a big deal.

anyway yeah i would totally date that actress girl EVEN IF she had been with “only” 10 guys.

hahahaha she is taller than me and weighs almost exactly the same as me HAHAHAHAHAHA (when you are an actress getting a BFA in Performing Arts, you put your height and weight on your resume)

tried listening to ways of yore. tough listen. some of the samples cut off too sharply. the songwriting is probably pretty good, but the sounds/production leaves a lot to be desired. cant help but feel he could have improved that if he had just worked a little harder. its not like a white man to be a lazy negro half assing things, hahahahahahahaha.

i mean damn. he got a better sound on hlidskjalf, in prison.

he could probably Reach Out to his fans and put together an Orchestra of people that know how to play orchestra instruments, and then conduct them to play his music the way he wanted.

ok like on “belus” and “valen” he didnt play entire songs when he was recording. he played bits and pieces and then copied and pasted those pieces. but it doesnt SOUND copied and pasted at all, it sounds like him playing actual instruments. which he IS technically doing. so just do something like that for his “ambient” stuff. you can still use a keyboard. just include more real instruments, and dont use those awful fake drums.

or get better sounding fake drums. i mean electronic music producers do pretty well for all synthesized stuff.

its just weird. i dont like being DISAPPOINTED by varg. i never USED to be as disappointed by his music, and I have been nothing but ENCOURAGED with how he’s lived his life after prison. and really thats more important than his music. his 6 white children. but i remember when he used to make great music too.  well he makes good videos now so, really im not THAT butthurt.

i just want new music made by my old favorite guys. cuz i cant enjoy new music and new bandz any moar.

sheeeeit. if that 22 year old actress were interested in me, i’d let her hang out with all her male friends all she wanted. AS LONG AS she kept coming back to me. that was always the problem, NOT the male friends PER SE: is that regardless if the gurl had 5 male friends or 50, she would always get bored of me in like 1 month and just not want to hang out with me any more. that is a blow to the ego and the confidence. just losing interest.

you can have male friends, just dont get bored of ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

oh well its MY fault because im BORING, and cant COMPETE with these guys.

NO, im not THAT boring, bitch!!!!!!!!

and even if i were, whats so BAD about boring?

boring isn’t bad, and also i’m not THAT boring, just a LITTLE bit!!!!!! fook!!!!! tell me YOURE not a little bit boring!!!!!

oh but women dont need to not be boring because uterus privelege, women are the supply, men are the demand, and being nonboring is the PRICE MEN have to pay. women have already paid their price just by existing. just by having a uterus. just by being the babymakers. THATS FAIR.  THATS WHY men cant be boring. thats why I HAVE to be not boring. i dont have to LIKE it. thats just the way it IS.

IT IS WHAT IT IS. YOU DONT HAVE TO LIKE IT.

and also, we concluded it WAS fair. that should make it easier to accept, right?

yeah…..but im not THAT boring!!!!!!!

i have been interesting enough to keep male friends for 10, 15, 20 years!

i have been interesting to keep female friends for almost 3 years!

i have had friends, including female friends, so im not as bad as some neet incel virgin rodger! supreme magnificent gentleman!

i got invited to a fun social event last night!

its just kinda hard because I dont go to BARS on the WEEKEND and STAY OUT LATE. stay till 2 am at the BAR on a saturday night, then stay up till 4 am partying somewhere else.

i need a FOCUS other than just drinking at the bar. yeah well they do do karaoke too, which is pretty important. why dont i just go to the bar, not drink, and do karaoke? that would make people like me more hahahahahaha. raise my social capital.

i mean i dont even need to IMPRESS these people!!!!

but I DO need to impress NEW people, because if i want to meet a wife, shes gonna have to be a NEW person. since I dont KNOW any Available Women.

i know a total of two women, both unavailable, and uhhh i dont see myself being super interested in them if they were to become available.

of course, i said the same about that woman.

of course, i was better friends with that woman than i am with these other women.

women women women women women women women women women women women women women women.

last couple times i took a valium, it didnt DO anything. i mean it could be old and stale I guess. some of those are 2 years old. can pharms just go bad like that?

when you make MJ butter, you dont just throw the butter in a pan. you mix water and butter so the butter doesnt scorch. then you simmer the water butter MJ mixture for a few hours, strain out the MJ, let the water butter cool, and then the butter will separate from the water, and you just pour out the water. and eat the butter. or put it in your coffee hehehehehehe.

 

I DONT WANT A PRESIDENT WHO DOESNT USE VULGAR LANGUAGE TO TALK ABOUT WOMEN

oct 5 2016

sheeeeeeit.

ok. got up and prepared for day like responsible man: shower, shave, breakfast, brush and floss, tied tie, now i am just waiting until i leave in 53 minutes to drive to interview starting at 2pm.

tell them at interview today that if it get the job at the “bank” uhhhh i have to take it. that is the one with int on upcoming tues that i am all excited about hehe. i mean it is a patently better job, better pay, prob better benefits, closer, i’d be an idiot not to. any non-failing business would agree with me hehehe.

leave for interview in 13 minutes. all dressed up atm. ready to go. try not to diaerrhoea.

shirt is def too big. pants are….not too small but they are “slim fit” unfort, so they will ALWAYS feel a little weird. i honestly could not find an ok looking blue suit that was not slim fit. it was the price i had to pay.

yeah just the idea that you need 100% accuracy and no errors, the job is, this NEEDS to be PERFECT, not 99.9%, but 100%, every time, your job is to make sure its PERFECT. ok i get that. but what i dont get is that asking a more experienced person to SIGN OFF on this is considered time wasting and hand holding and youre fired. NO. it should be Best Practices and Standard Operating Procedure to have a “Team Lead” Sign Off on your work.

oh golly gee i dont know what im doing but i hope its right because our paying client needs this airplane door to be 100% or else it will fly off at 140000 feet and 500 passengers will get sucked out the door to their deaths hahahaha.

or this bridge will fall apart and 1000 people will die and its on YOUR hands, lowly level 1 guy, not the Master Engineer who YOU thought “should” “sign off” on such an important project. no hes got better things to do like get drunk at lunch and look at Prep The Bull and Trap Porn on his work computer and make 4 times as much as you.

later

welp did my interview. it was kinda ridiculous but not in a horrible way. mainly the guy double booked his interviews for 2 people at the same time, there was a white man also dressed in a nice suit, but he seemed about 5 years older than me.  but healthy and regenerate looking hahaha. very healthy weight. anyway this other manager decided he would essentially do the interview with me, so i started talking to him, he was an all right guy, but then it was like ok lets see if the original manager is ready to talk to you now. so i ultimately talked to TWO managers one after the other and the whole thing took like 1 hour 40 minutes. thankfully both guys were nice and the company and job actually seemed all right EXCEPT there is a kind of sales/incentive pay structure, but there is a damn 13 week training program and starting at 17 dollars an hour at that time, so…..thats pretty good. the guy said the guys here were very “BLUE COLLAR” and i said thats great, I come from a blue collar family and have a Thick Skin to handle Bantz and F-Bombs hahahahaha.

i said all the right marketing bullshit about the companys culture and values and bla bla bla.

there were some times when i stumbled and sounded like an autist, similarly to how i did yesterday, but just like the person yesterday, they didnt jump on me for it or even seem to care. so i spilled the spaghetti a couple times, NO BIG DEAL. and that is ultimately pretty encouraging.

there was a sales office right there and they are hiring sales people too. i said my background was more geared towards Service Technician than Sales per se, although I DO have very good Communication and People skills and like to Educate people hahhahahahahaha.

but they also emphasized they are an Ethical company and do not try to sell people things they dont need. Which could be BS, but I said, Good, because I’m a very ethical guy and I wouldn’t want to sell people things they really don’t need. which is NOT BS!!!!!!!

well i have been so busy interviewing i missed the deadline for a few jobs to apply hehe. have to keep a PIPELINE going hahahahahahaha.

one thing i did like about the job today was that they had a lot of training. a LOT of training. 13 weeks. they said a lot of guys were confident at 8 weeks and said let me get out there, the the company wanted to err on the side of caution. and make sure people passed tests and got certified for jobs where certification was not Legally Mandatory.

now they could just be bullshitting to sell the job to me…..but its pretty good bullshit! shit yeah tell me more about how you make sure your people are fully trained.

since it does get into incentive based shit after training, i asked if any of the people really struggled with that. the manager said everyone is doing well and reaching goals. and these are salty technicians and not born smooth talking salesmen.

anyway i hate the idea that a woman will dump you as soon as you stop showing strength. that she can need you but GOD FORBID you ever need HER. is this really the way women are and i just have to accept it? I accept that men are stronger emotionally and physically and mentally than women and that men have to do MOST of the work……but I don’t think women cant be capable of doing any work at all. so you have to support her always, and she supports you NEVER? thats fookin gay.

yeah well she never gave up and walked out when her longterm boifran was freezing HER out. but im not sure he was being “WEAK” though. he was being strong but silent hahahaha. well, he might not have been being “STRONG” but he wasnt being WEAK either. he was jsut distant and cold and stubborn. but she made a real effort with him at least.

so yeah she was capable. jsut not with me. because i was weak hahahaha.

i just HATE the idea that you have to be PERFECT or else they LEAVE.

but thats clearly not true! her BF wasnt perfect and she gave him MORE than a fair chance! many women stay with men who are VERY not perfect!

yeah but these men present as strong, and not at all as weak. they dont get nervous or anxious. they might get ANGRY at the women always wanting to TALK and DO STUFF and FIX stuff. but the men are not freaking out like a hysterical WOMAN.

oct 6

 

classic album here, if you dont like this album, gtfo. train your 3dpd fat slob to like this album as you bang her hahahahaha.

as a lifelong fan of srs metal, i have learned the important and mature lesson than women who like metal = crazy = bad (im talking about like serious fans of black or death metal, not they like a few random hit metal songs by metallica or pantera or slayer or motorhead or iron maiden or something, that should be fine).

but yeah a woman that likes the CURE, i would still be pretty impressed by that. even though im old enough to KNOW BETTER about being IMPRESSED by a womans MUSICAL TASTE. its a traaaappp.

i dont even think robert smith is as big a degenerate as most musicians, well, assuming from the fact that he’s been married to the same woman for like 40 years.

never saw the cure live and they are one of the few on muh live concert bucket list. note to self, if i have feelings for a woman, do NOT take that woman to the cure concert, because i wont be able to remember that as a good memory when she dumps me and breaks my heart hahaha. go with a male friend or alone.

yeah hard to go wrong with the cure. it is smooth and chill, and beautiful, and melodic, romantic, catchy, and also sad and emo, and spine chilling, and this album is probably their best moment. the Lush Beauty of “pictures of you” to the super catchy hard rocking of “fascination street” and of course their biggest hit “lovesong” which is a great song. i mean its impossible not to like and RESPECT this album. for any fan of music. if you dislike this album YOUR JUST STUPID.

yeah i guess if youre a total hipster you could say its too mainstream and overplayed. its def mainstream but is it REALLY overplayed? are these REALLY boring songs? these are timeless, classic songs that are played a lot for a REASON.

it IS a little LONG though at 63 minutes, where 40 minutes is the ideal album length.

working class men on Worksites listen to MUSIC all day as they do their hard work. i think this is very significant and worth some thought. if you are listening to music, it is harder to PANIC and be ANXIOUS and NERVOUS, and ALSO it means you are CONSTANTLY TALKING and thinking on your feet to come up with Bullshit Explanations for both your supervisors and your customers. that is EXHAUSTING. its like CAMPAIGNING for president and you have to talk and bullshit all day. i could NEVER do that, i dont know where trump gets his ENERGY, but its safe to say he’s always been that way, and some people just ARE.

heheh i forgot about the 311 cover of lovesong. that is tbh pretty darn good fam hahahaha. pretty secsy for blowing out your bitches asshole hahahahaha. because they LIKE being treated like Jooish Pornographic Filth. Absolutely Disgusting. BELIEVE ME, I would rather treat them as Fragile Flowers, because I HATE Jooish Pornographic Filth. Hate that Disgusting SHit that has RUINED Women And Men. words cannot describe the HATE. i dont hate nonwhites, i might not even hate joos, but by god i HATE the disgusting filth that joos have created! I hate the evil they have done!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

funny that the cure has an album called “pornography.” as an old man, this to me is AWESOME because that is an INCREDIBLY dark, despairing, nihilistic album, and I think this terrible feel perfectly captures the actual real essence of pornography. it is not secsy or hot and all. it is empty and despairing and nihilistic and soulless and horrible. i’m not sure if thats what robert (first name basis hahahaha) was getting at, but i like to think he was hahahahaha.

and yeah “pictures of you” is a CLASSIC FOR A REASON!!!!! and perfectly captures Lost Love and Heartbreak and Regret and embodies what i have felt for the past 14 months hahahahahahaha. thankfully i can enjoy the song on its own merits as a way to express a personal emotion that was unshared with her, hahahaha. meaning, im glad i never cuddled or buttfooked her while listening to THE CURE or this album, because then it would actually REMIND me of her, rather than help me Get Over Muh Emotions ABOUT her. in other words, the cure is MY thing and not HER thing, definitely not OUR thing. well she probably likes a few cure songs but we never shared any cure moments, thank god.

NEVER share things with women hahahahaha cuz then you cant enjoy your favorite music and movies when they break your heart and leave you. THEY WILL RUIN YOUR FAVORITE THINGS FOR YOU. i mean thank god i can still listen to neil young, but it took a while! TOO LONG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! yeah i mean you get over it, but it sucked that i couldnt even listen to one of muh favorite music guys for months!!!!!!!!!!!!

want to get out of house before noon today (oh god that sounds so lazy and negrish!!!!!!) and do some errands

also prep for autist aba job interview tommorow

AND apply for 3 jobs because i think about 3 decent jobs are gonna “expire” by tommorow

AND get good powerwalk

AND get 14 pushups

AND eat less than 1200 calories because i went like EIGHT HUNDRED OVER yesterday, oy vey.

uhhhh 14 pushups is a good baby step, but all together that is a lot of baby steps hahahaha.

ok went to store

ok called the interview place and stalked the woman who will be interviewing me, she was supposed to email me 2 days ago but it never went thru because she typed my hard to spell email wrong.

i called her and aksed for her hard to spell email and successfully sent a message to her hahahaha. thankfully she does not have a masters degree and seems like a nice person from the stalking i did.

ok got the shit printed out, hehhehe if you have to print out 10 pages of shit for every interview, thats 250 pages hahahaha. i have already bought 2 black ink cartridges and am burning thru the 3rd one pretty quickly. so stupid.

not going to get a ton of sleep tonight, might blank out and do a gary johnson aleppo moment tomorrow. that really looks bad. well if he can get to be governor, i can get a 12 dollar an hour autism technician job.

uhhhh applied to 2 jobs today but not 3. prepared my info sheet for tomorrow.

this org clearly has a problem with people not sticking around. prob because they quickly find better paying jobs. and they cant afford to pay them more because they are a nonprofit org. so they are angry about people getting valuable autism training and then leaving before 10 months. but i……

i dunno i just hate being in a job and saying OH GOD HOW AM I GONNA DO THIS I DONT KNOW WHAT IM DOING I CANT HANDLE THIS JOB OH GOD WHAT DO I DO OH GOD THIS IS RIDICULOUS WHY DID THEY GIVE ME THIS JOB OH YEAH BECAUSE THEY CANT FIND PEOPLE WHO WILL PUT UP WITH THIS SHIT FOR MORE THAN A FEW DAYS WITHOUT QUITTING!!!! WHAT THE HELL AM I SUPPOSED TO DO HERE WHAT SHOULD I SAY TO THESE PEOPLE TELL ME WHAT TO DO PLEEEEASE TELL ME WHAT TO SAY TO THEM I DONT KNOW WHAT IM DOOOOOOOOOOOING HOW CAN YOU PUT ME OUT HERE IN FRONT OF THESE PEOPLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i also worry that the “workplace safety” job will do regular drug tests because you drive a company van. oh god i cant drive a large van!!!!!!! what if the van breaks down!!!!!!

i think this autism job would be more fun and i would enjoy it more and also be able to SURVIVE and WITHSTAND it better, because it is part time and because it is sort of in muh wheelhouse. well i am more conflicting about wanting the autism job vs the safety job, however in the autism vs the bank job, i def want the bank job!!!!!

hehehehe this is assuming i get offers from both jobs in these situations. VERY big assumptions!!!!!

does that mean i had a good feeling abotu the saftey job? kind of!

and i have kinda a good feeling about getting the autism job.

REALLY? I have been REJECTED for ELEVEN dollar an hour part time jobs recently, what reason do i have to be optimistic about a TWELVE DAH PT job? hahahahaha. well because my degree actually relates to this job, sort of, where it doesnt relate to “office administrative assistant” job. which is stupid. i mean the better degree for that would be business. even if i have 30 credits of business classes. doesnt matter i guess hahaha.

shit they might reject me because ive never worked with CHILDREN before. let alone autist children haha.

i wish you could negotiate training wages. meaning i would gladly accept minimum wage for the first month or however long it took for me to be rejected from the other 2 jobs i am in contention for. so if i got one of those jobs, the autism place wouldnt lose too much money training me. cuz its a decent org and i might want to reapply with them in a few years. for one of their FT jobs that dont exist, yeah sure hahahaha.

oct 7 firday

752 AM

up real early today, like a real working man, currently dressed up and ready to go to interview, did not prep so well. as predicted, did not sleep well. well i was up thinking until like 130 am. thankfully i did fall asleep and I was in the middle of an interesting dream that i was scheduled to be part of the death panel on the next daily shoah with k1ke enoch and “sven” and i was like iii dunno guys, what the hell am I gonna be able to add to this, im gonna sound like an idiot, but im honored you asked me, i really like TRS hahahahaha. this is probably muh first TRS related DREAM hahahahaha. much better than having dreams about you know WHO hahaha.

ok. like i say, its a tough call between autism job vs safety job. for a normie, no its not, the safety job BTFOs the autism because it pays more, more hours, FT, established company, health care, bennies etc.

12 pm

welp did the interview, sent thank you note, recorded it as 95 minutes. spent an hour in there, but onyl about 30 minutes talking to them, and like 20 minutes filling out a damn application by hand which was basically a copy of all the shit i already gave them. i will never understand these stupid hiring policies. filling out shit by hand. unbelievable. told them about muh desire for FT. they were very understanding. talked to a Masters Level Psychologist who is about 7 years younger than me, oy vey hahahahaha.

there might be young 3 year old children biting and smacking and pooping their pants and i have to put diapers on them. i think i would rather do this than answer phone calls hahahahaha.

i dont fookin know man i just want a job where i can get help if i need it and i am not constantly needing it and not constantly fighting and struggling to survive every day. good god. the type of exhausting, nervous struggle where you feel like you need to chug Whiskey straight from the bottle at the end of every day.

hehehe normal life is at least 2 to 3 times HARDER for me than for normies. not that normies have it easy! but the basics of Holding Down a Job and Banging A Bitch, those are at LEAST 3 times harder for me. lots of fear and failure hehehehe. lots of time wasted. lots of not getting anywhere.

on the degen show “better things” which im not sure why i am watching, well because i want to see a degen single mother raising degen girls, its really all about degen women, and is kinda like “GIRLS” in that regard. no husbands or fathers, mothers a whore, her oldest daughter is 16 and beautiful and is becoming a whore, the middle daughter is an autistic ocd 13 year old lesbian, so i guess all that is enough to sell me.

recent episode focused on the 16 year old daughter worried about her future, going to college and all that, what am i gonna do with my life, her high school guidance counselor says no ivy league for you, you shoulda started prepping for that a few years ago, might not have the grades for a good state shool, have you thought about community college?

now the red pill is that community college is awesome but it DOES have a reputation as for underachieving losers, so when you’re in high school, you shudder at the thought. then when 10 years later youre still a huge loser, you think, welp, i have been humbled, time to go to CC now that real University did not work out.

anyway the girl is very anxious and despairing and I totally related and found this storyline very compelling. i guess she smokes MJ and does not get 4.0 grades. dont know if she is a huge horrible slut. PROBABLY, knowing this degen show.

because they show the girl sitting with her degen mom and the degen moms friends all sitting around drinking and talking about ABORTIONS, like how many abotions you got, tell the story of that abortion, and i was like, they are trying WAY too hard to make this show edgy, and what EXACTLY are they trying to say? they were clearly trying to be provocative by having such a “FRANK” discussion of abortions while CHILDREN were amongst them, as if to say, this is NORMAL, this is not a big deal, we all have abortions, and you’ll get abortions too, its just a fact of life, rite of passage for a woman, dont be ashamed of this, its good to be pro choice, and if you get knocked up when you are having fun with Secsy Boys, you can and should totes get an abortion too.

so i felt sympathy for this poor girl just about to become a Woman, and that she was so FOOKED because her mother is such a damn baby murdering degenerate. so the beautiful 16 year old gurl is gonna become a slut REAL soon if she isnt already, prob lose V to badboi, then quickly start riding C carousel, throwing a bunch of betabois away, probably start cheating, not take secs seriously, not take human life seriously, the way she THROWS LIVES AWAY, develop 10000 C stare, never be able to have a serious rel with a man, just like her crazy whore mother who cant love a man either.  but is this “beautifully flawed” woman trying to raise 3 young daughters as a Single Working Mom who is very open about Secs and Abortions and Being Tuff and You Do You Grrrrrl.

and its NORMAL to be a slut and cheat and break hearts and throw people away and get abortions, sex is FUN FIRST and if you get preggers, no big deal, get an abortion, WEVE ALL DONE IT. and sometimes you just wanna get fooked, and if the guy is a sensitive virgin type an gets feelings, AW, TOO BAD SO SAD, its ok to Dump and Ghost him because you just wanted to Get Off.

and we are beautiful in our flaws and we are gonna be as flawed as possible.

and i like the show for confronting Real Shit, but i hate it for taking the wrong opinion on this shit. while at the same time having some good and sympathetic characters. i mean i dont even really hate the mom. but i should.

to make her daughter feel better, the mother took her to the store and made her dress in a Ladies Business Suit, and said there you are, you look just like those successful peopel who have their shit together, youre no different than them. it was actually sort of touching even though she should not be so worried about career and shit. she should have a good father who helps her find a good husband.

i mean the show could have pushed more Red Pills about You Dont Have To Go To College. Go To Trade School or Community College or Military.

so they talk to a bank teller and mom says do you have any college, teller says no just a GED and i started this job at age 22 and im 25 now.

this could have opened a real good conversation but they just left it there.

so do you portray the bank teller as a failure because they didnt go to college? no not at all, which i liked.

i would have liked more if they had a 30 year old with a masters degree living with his family because he is still trying to pay back 200k in student loans hahahaha and he’s done, he’s finished, given up on life, i’ll never get anyway, i wish i could have a family but i’ll never afford it, and i havent dated a woman in over 5 years hahahahaha. that would have been some great black pill shit.

basically, college educated 30 year olds who cant afford to move out hahahaha because they are only making 12 dollars an hour and are 80k in debt for useless college hahahaha.

tfw when you see a picture of FENRIZ when he was very young, like 20 or 21 or so, and realize he sort of reminds you of THAT WOMAN.

I was completely in luv and wanted to marry and have babies and spend muh life with and was devastated heartbroken for 15 months over a woman who looks like FENRIZ.

fenriz is currently 44 years old as is nocturno culto. culto has 2 children a son and a daughter. i do not think fenriz has any children. not sure how old cultos children are. i hope he is a good father to them.

but yeah there are like 2 pictures of 20 year old fenriz where he kinda looks like That Woman. so weird. i told you she was kidna weird looking hahahahaha. but like fenriz, she had nice long dark hair.

so darkthrone was offered 200k USD to play a festival for one show and they REFUSED. hell yes that shows some serious “INTEGRITY” but at the same time i have to think, you’d have to be stupid to turn that down!

Should a man with CHILDREN turn down 200k for 1 day of work just because of his artistic integrity?

basically I give them a PASS, and I think its kinda STUPID for a man with a FAMILY to turn that money down. even if you dont have a family, you still need money. maybe fenriz has bastard children he needs to pay child support. (speculation). maybe fenriz wants to take care of his aging parents. TAKE THE FOOKIN MONEY GUIZE.

heh. most people just like the music and dont really care about the people behind it.

I dont really care for the music and i am MORE interested in the PEOPLE behind it hahahaha.

i mean the story of these guys lives is WAY more interesting than listening to “plaguewielder” or “the cult is alive” hehehehehehehehe.

i say this because i am sort of excited about darkthrone again due to their brand new album which I am going to listen to today on powerwalk hehehe.

did 3.2 mile, 1 hour powerwalk, my normal walking pace is 3.2 mph and i am happy with that.

listened to new darkthrone album. it has great sound/production and is perfect length and it is not all ridiculous, but uhhh i was hoping it would be a little…..better hehehehe. i mean its no panzerfaust. i mean you can tell they are both enjoying themselves, theyre not just going through the motions, so i think a large part of the prob is me simply not being able to appreciate “new” music.

its hard to get the interest of women when you MAKE LESS THAN THEM. of course im talking about money. basically the only people that I make MORE than are total white trash and negroes hahahahaha. at least when i was making 30k, i was then good enough to pull white trash waitresses and such hahahahaha. and that was the best money i ever made in my life! when i was making like 12k a year, i was staying sane but what the HELL can you do on 12k a year? cant live, cant have a family, cant do anything. cant have a serious rel with a woman. i guess you could bang sluts because you sure arent gonna KEEP any women making only 12k!

wow she dumped him SUPER BAD, super insult to injury there. why do people do this? why do you HAVE to add insult to injury? i mean if i were this guy i would be devastated, my confidence would be CRUSHED for at least 15 months hahahahaha. this type of thing will DESTROY a guys confidence for a LONG time.

also when someone throws you away, people advise you, they dont know what they had, in 2 months they will miss you and be begging for you back. dont take them back. be better than that. they took you for granted the first time. dont give them that second chance.

and that def never happened here. she left me and NEVER looked back. feels bad man! that might even be worse. i wuld def forgive and take her back once. and if she pulled the same shit twice (like they often do) then i would kick her ass out (probably not hahahahaha). but she didnt even come back.

but i am doing my interviews so thats as good as i can ask. i have done about 36 hours of interviews roughly. i guess it would make sense to do 40 hours of interviews. maybe what the lord is teaching me is how to get good at interviews. thats the lesson for this 15 months of pain. how to do interviews. sheeeeeeeeeeeeit.

but if i dont have an interview for a week, then i feel like i lose all those gains. and i need to have at least 2 or 3 interviews a week to get better. kinda like lifting hehehehe.

heh 330 pm and could totes take a nap. cuz i got up at 615am and did not fall asleep till 1 am.

 

super lengthy autistic post but an in depth picture of someone who actually DOES go to a shrink, and both people are willing to go to shrink, and it doesnt really improve things hehehehe. she still blames him.

but yeah he does seem too damn autistic and that is probably a problem.

also yeah she probably IS “depressed” but she should get that diagnosed well before 28. I sure did! because i was trying to improve myself so i could live a normal life with a job and a GF one day.

and good on this guy for improving himself from a fat virgin to an in shape, masters degree, successful, hardworking, guy with a GF. but he is still anal and autistic in a way that will hurt the rel, just as she hurts the rel with her “depression” and lack of interest and effort.

this album is regarded as DT coming back from a perhaps 3-album slump from 1996 to 2003 hahaha. fenriz said he was very derpressed and i guess was feeling better by the time of this album. and he was thankful to culto for essentially keeping the band alive during that time.

anyway i remember i actually bought the “plaguewielder” cd (used) back when cds were still a thing. i was like uhhhh this is not the greatest. and that was pretty much the end of darkthrone for me hahahaha and i never gave “hate them” a chance. i did give “sardonic wrath” a try and actually kinda liked that one. that came out following hate them.

anyway just trying to say i prefer this kind of vocal from culto. the hateful trve black metal vocal rather than the more i guess celtic frost vocal he’s doing now. which is not bad mind you, but the older vocal is better.

i mean there is no competition hehehe. however “boring” darkthrone may be, culto gives a Master Class in how to do good vocals.

62.9% labor force participation rate? that cant be good, unless labor force counts super old and super young people….which it probably shouldnt! and honestly i dont think it does. labor force is work age people. like 18 to 65 or whatever.

oh you know what i am not even gonna shit on plaguewielder anymore. it has shitty artwork but it sounds pretty similar to hate them with the riffage and sick vocals. also culto thanks tom waits on his short list of inspirations and shoutouts. in 2001 before i even knew who tom waits was unfortuantely. did not discover waits until 2003 or 4 at the latest.

also there are “blast beats” on these albums where i haven’t heard them on the newer albums. come on. you gotta have that.

trump scandal of him using “vulgar language about women.”

I DONT WANT A PRESIDENT WHO DOESNT USE VULGAR LANGUAGE TO TALK ABOUT WOMEN!!!!

crude comments in 2005 interview about tits and pussy and whatever. who cares.

well, i kinda care if he is cheating on his wife, but not sure if he was married to her by then.

cuz its not cool to cheat on your wife but he has dealt with his fair share of gold diggers so.

i mean this is fooking stupid and i hope it doesnt COST HIM the election just because WOMEN will be so butthurt. and women shouldnt even be able to vote hehehehehe. but people have short memories too.

even the circle wagons album does not sound BAD. it is quite rocking as a matter of fact.

lesson: even the “worst” darkthrone albums are pretty good.

i would have preffered that he make super racist comments about mudslims or blacks or especially joos. that would be SWEET. BUT, that definitely would have killed his chances 100%, and that would NOT be good.

i like that he didnt apologize THAT much. hes not begging for forgiveness, and kinda saying this is not a big deal. cuz its really not. but i really dont know how real women will take it. i know that msnbc is up in arms hahahaha.

why not criticize the hollywood host billy bush for being an enthusiastic participant in the conversation.

QUOTE

It’s foolish to take the Blackpill with regards to women. It makes you settle for low quality sluts and degenerates. Do you want them to be the mother of your children?

I was in a bad place in 2011. I was dating a used-up slut whom I had nothing in common with. I was struggling to finish school and leave the comfy world of NEETdom. I had gotten into reading ‘The Red Pill’ and that middle eastern rapist Roosh, and my opinion of women was extremely low. Thus, my expectations from women were low.

This girl was a degenerate waste. She was pretty enough, but was a complete slob, and nearing the end of her 20s. I knew she had dated around, but the extent of the rot was what really got to me. The day I left her was when I attended a ‘party’ with some of her friends, only to discover she had f00cked literally 8 of the men at the party. Her total number was somewhere around 35ish men. One of which included a ni99er. Disgusting. I drove off, deleted her from Facebook and Skype, and washed my hands of her.

I was lucky to get out of that mess with no STIs. I pulled myself out of this depression and blackpill by lifting and travelling, and completely tossed out the ReturnOfKangz/rOOSH shit. Some of the techniques are useful, and yes, 90% of women are somewhere on the whore spectrum, but 10% of girls is still a HUGE amount of people.

On one of my trips, after a year of lifting and healthy eating, I met a complete QT3.14, 10/10. She was introverted, shy, but extremely moral. She was 6 years younger than me, intelligent, had a similar genetic background, and was a fucking virgin.

Married her 2 years into the relationship and it has only gotten better.

Lift, have confidence in your self, resist the blackpill, and you will find extremely high quality women waiting for you to wife them. Let the f4ggot numales clean up the algae of used up whores. WILL TO POWER BRAH

END

i am risking getting banned for posting private forum material here, but uhhhh i wont say what forum i got it from, nor who said it, but i am trying to share an awesome WHITE PILL here: a neetish man was dating a dirty slut, then he turned his life around and married a nice virgin waifu. GOOD FOR HIM. this is EXACTLY the stuff I need to read a LOT more of…..but i’m not finding a lot of it. not enough.

nyquil and coffee combination hehehe. again went way over calorie limit. soooooo easy to eat over 1200 cals.

yeah why shouldnt i link this already.

this and TH are muh fav DT albums. and this one is more “fun.” not sure why the vocals are considered controversial. i think they are great although perhaps mixed a little loudly. the riffs, songwriting, and production are all top of the line, and there is a ton of nostalgia with this album, as it was a big part of muh adolescence at age 18 or so. this is a pretty kewl album to have as your theme music at age 18 hahahahahahahaha.

“quintessence”, come on. probably the darkthrone stairway to heaven right there.

but yeah. a lot of people are interested in things they dont really participate in. politics, professional sports, tv shows, religion. but no one is interested in “relationships” as like a main interest they way I am, apart from WOMEN who are always GOSSIPING. I truly do like to gossip, but I like even more to study and understand the relationships.

its like watching from the sidelines and commenting but never participating. but thats the thing: is that normies DO participate, quite regularly, and dont really comment on it at the same level as I do, just gossip, say whos fooking who, whos dumping who.

and even people who are obsessed with sportsball and watch pro sportsball but are too fat and soft to actually play pro sportsball still often play amateur sportsball or fantasy sportsball.

i dont play Fantasy Relships, although maybe in a way I do: by having these one sided things where I have the relship all in my mind and it does not reflect reality at all.

nyquil makes me unable to think clearly and articulate and be persuasive. still i wish i just had some MJ, i would LUV to smoke a bunch of MJ on a friday night like this and listen to DARKTHRONE.

“the hordes of nebulah”. i used to think this song wasnt as good as the 2 before it, now i see i was wrong hahahahaha. truly a MAGIC album and i wouldnt EXPECT darkthrone to ever capture this kind of lightning in a bottle quite the same way ever again. you cant. again a large part of this was my own age at the time. but this is gonna be one of those albums that i enjoy thru my entire life hahaha. share with muh waifu and children and they will say damn what a badass!

anyway it is just “funny” and mostly sad that i spend all this time and energy and interest thinking about and analyzing Relationships, general and particular, myself and my fantasy rels, others and my perceptions of their real rels, and i think i have the tools and skills and knowledge to be real mature and good in a rel…..but my weakness is the BEGINNING. I cant get it STARTED for various reasons. cant spark the kindling and get the fire going ever.

large part of that is because i am scared to “apply”. at least with jobs i am putting out 450 applications, doing 23 interviews. if i were doing that with WOMEN, i WOULD have been in a real rel by now, or at least had a near normie level of secsual satisfaction. or, hopefully, i would say THIS IS DEGENERATE, I’m not gonna do this unless its in a real rel with a decent woman, fook this banging sluts shit, leave it to the degenerate hedonist nihilist abortionists.

fenriz did recycle the classic “quintessence” riff on his storm “nordavind” album which was recorded in late 1994 while panzerfaust was recorded in early 1994 hehehe.

they got the qt gurl kari rueslatten to sing on the album (from 3rd and the mortal, really need to dig into them more) and supposedly she was very upset and felt betrayed by fenriz because he changed a lyric at the last minute to say something like “death to every man who does not hail the fatherland!” which she felt was ebil racist. and i bet fenriz is not a racist. shit i wish he WAS. he SHOULD be. and poor kari felt horrible guilt after that and betrayed by ebil fenriz. hahahahaha i wonder if he fooked her. the dirty slut hahaha. see this ALL comes from the root cause of my degen pornographic view of women as sluts to be fooked. this is from watching way too much pron, so shame on me. but also shame on women for willingly BEING like that. they dont have to BE sluts, even if the girls in porno are.

and because kari was a beautiful young norwegian gurl with beautiful long hair, i dont WANT her to be a slut.

i want to read more stories of women who are DIVORCING or DUMPING their men because oh god hes a TRUMP SUPPORTER. but r/relships does not allow overtly political topics.

i would think being married and especially with children makes women less leftist catladylike. so they will say oh yeah trump is crude but oh well hes still better than hillary so im still voting for him.

whereas its the C carousel sluts and catladies who will be most offended, and they werent voting for trump ANYWAY.

in other words, its not gonna lose him any votes. its not gonna make anyone who has already chosen trump, say, oh NOW he’s gone too far, and i am changing my vote to HILLARY? i cant imagine him honestly doing any of that. even if he said GTKRWN 1488, which i would luv, people would still say, yeah im still not voting for hillary.

however it will make the hillary people all the more SHRILL and ANNOYING and that might push undecideds towards trump.

undecideds tho? and couldnt this push undecideds to hillary? sure.

BUT HOW MANY UNDECIDEDS ARE THERE REALLY?????

not very many imho. i play it down because i hang out with people who would be MORTIFIED that they have even ONE trump supporter in their friend circle. so i say stuff, ah well, its a classic lesser of two evils thing, i dont really like either of them, but im really dont like hillary, yes i agree with you trump is not super presidential but im a moderate centrist and hillary is just too left for me, so, i have to vote for trump. that kind of waffling shit. actually i wouldnt even confirm i was voting for trump unless i was with some trump voters. thankfully i know a few.

7000 words? damn.

but yeah its funny. i analyze and think about rels like An Interest Or Hobby but never actually participate, when most NORMIES DO participate and dont analyze them to the same level, its just a normal part of normal life, dont overthink it, its not something interesting like football or tv hahahaha.

well to me it is!!!!!!!!

and women arent much better than men. they gossip a lot more about rels but are even WORSE at analysing, understanding, and workign with them. men could at least have a good chance at reasoning their way through them if they tried.

but you cant REASON with women. its like REASONING with a drunk 50 foot baby with a flamethrower. REASONING with a damn tasmanian devil. you cant reason somebody out of something that they didnt reason themselves into, hahahahaha.