YOUR FATHER MUST BE SO PROUD

apri 25

took a rare nap because i am doing a rare weeknight social game which will result in me getting not much sleep in prep of the Big Day of Job tomorrow. If I had a Normie job, i wouldnt even think of doing this, because being GRUMPY is the LEAST of your concerns when you dont sleep enough. its being ANXIOUS and PANICKING and feeling like you wont be able to stand the constant firing squad of people constantly watching you and measuring you and asking you questions and interrogating and interviewing you. grilling you.

like i dont know how any health care workers, esp nurses, do their jobs. i have great respect for nurses when they arent pill popping whores.

uhhh so being grumpy and tired is not my worry. my worry is being WEAK and running out of the room crying because I cant handle the pressure. its like taking a Big Final Exam without good sleep, because

EVERY DAY OF WORK IS LIKE A BIG FINAL EXAM.

Nobody told me! I just thought it was Boring Drudgery! Shit, I’d pay for boring drudgery, when its actually nerve-wracking tension!

but my current job is much different, very low stress, borderline boring even! and i say this isn’t a REAL job, because clearly real jobs JUST ARENT LIKE THIS. PLUS Im only making 11k a year and no benefits. its not a real job. it was never MEANT to be a real job. its MEANT for students who are working on their degree so in a few years they can get an entry level torture job for 28k a year and some health care.

you are constantly SELLING something to angry customers. even if what you’re “Selling” is the runaround and the bullshit jooish lies as to why your company thinks its too expensive to fix what the customer wants fixed. here’s why its not really broken goy.

as someone who genuinely wants to do a good job and actually help people, that kind of shit is VERY hard for me. especially when the shit is so confusing that i just dont KNOW. its very possible the shit is SO confusing that its NOT worth it for our company to fix their shit. soooo……can we escalate this to someone who knows how to handle it? do we have a Business Partner we can connect them with? What do I say to leave this person out in the cold? sorry, cant help you, it is what it is, next. no explanation because even i dont understand it, and you cant talk to my higher up who said shut it down, because he’s too busy saying shut it down to people like ME.  see, you get shut down, I’m actually getting shut down too, by him, now I’m shutting YOU down. thats all we do, we dont actually FIX things, hahahahaa.

i just hate it when every day has MORE pressure than a big exam, because you DONT understand the stuff, AND you have to explain it to angry people. why why why. i dont know why, i just know my higher ups said we cant. no you cant talk to him. because theyre too busy, and they will just tell you the same thing. you think youre gonna LIKE the explanation?

was this why our department was failing?

well, it was a symptom of a failing department, that was mismanaged, that was not given the time, money, training, and people it needed to BE successful. and hence we were shut down altogether, permanently. i’m curious what happened to the department afterwards. if anything they needed MORE people, not less!

well…..they needed MORE people during peak business times. just as importantly, they needed BETTER TRAINED people during these times.

its basically fight or flight all day long, every day. how the hell do people do this?

because they have kids to take care of and they dont have any real skills like being a nurse or a electrician and they have to make at least 30k a year to support their kids and they dont want to be a huge deadbeat and not support their kids. lots of single mothers there. sad!

and if i had just gotten a 2 year nursing degree at age 20, i could have been making good money at age 20 hahahaha. well hypotehtically. i never wanted to be a nurse because its stressful and thankless. i dont know how anyone wants to be a nurse except for the Money and the Job Security. but its not great money, theres not great job security, i guess its just kinda easy to get the shittiest of nursing jobs.

yet there are tons of gurls who really want to become nurses.

WHY DONT THEY JUST BECOME WIVES AND MOTHERS INSTEAD? you can  become a nurse when you are 45. literally. so many women are channeling this natural urge to be Nurturing, so they can help angry strangers for 60 hours a week to the benefit of jooish hospitals and health care companies and doctors and then become pill popping sluts, and shitty wives and mothers like nurse jackie hahaha.

so what then, have the wives stay home? you cant afford to do that goy? without a dual income you cant survive goy!

well you live in a shitty neighborhood with violent blacks and browns, that would save money and be a great place for your wife to stay at home with the kids hahaha.

no i say you go to the hwyte rural area like fatherland jim and the hwyte pride singlewide. go and do likewise, gents. his wife stays at home and i dont think he makes a TON of money.

so the trick is, you gotta commute 50 miles one way so you can live far away enough from your job in the city so you can have a nice safe hwyte home in the country. so be prepared to spend extra money on car, insurance. because you werent spending enough money on that stuff as it is, hhahahahaa.

so this was my FATE, my DOOM, my DESTINY, my MISSION from GOD, is that i live a completely un-normal life. that life itself is such a difficult struggle that i cannot even do the bare minimum of being an adult.

i mean its one thing to Not Be Normal. Who’s Normal, you say.

People who rise to the challenge of making 28k a year and living independently, even if in poverty. Being Working Poor and still paying your beels. THAT is normal.

so there was a “PROFESSIONAL CUDDLER” mentioned in parade magazine or AP Reuters news or something. it is definitely a thing now.

i started suggesting this about 2 years ago but as the far more unattractive name of “cuddle hookers” which I dont think would sell nearly as well. i dont know why I just didnt keep it simple and suggest str8 up professional cuddlers.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-4170962/Professional-cuddler-earns-17-000-snuggling-strangers.html

i mean i just didnt know what WORD to CALL it till recently. “PROFESSIONAL CUDDLER” seems to be the term people in the media are settling on.

wow that bitch is cray cray. she is NOT a touchy feely person, left her husband because she wanted to become a poly slut, then went to a cuddle party and discovered at age 37 she wants to become a professional cuddler and for 80 dollars an hour, but shes not really a cuddly person. wtf.

http://www.businessinsider.com/professional-cuddler-2014-7

platonic companionship service that offers professional snuggling

therapeutic, non-sexual, cuddle session with a certified professional cuddler.

alternative touch therapy

http://www.cuddleparty.com/

shit yeah i think its sad, because it means there is enough lonely ass fooking men that are so pathetic they cant convince a normal degen woman to cuddle them, so they have to pay for basic human contact. also that a man could get THAT autistic. its totally the atomizing effect of da jooz hahahaha.

i imagine if you are CUTE and YOUNG you will be in more demand than if you are a FAT SLOB of a woman.

just like with secs, its more fun to cuddle with an attractive woman than an unattractive woman.

at any rate i think this is still a market worth studying. also i wonder if some of the “cuddle parties” are actually FREE of charge, for weird cuddle nerds that actually like cuddling.

but why would you like cuddling with JUST ANYBODY? or with a LOT of people? or someone you just met?  really its just a lesser version of secs. I dont want to cuddle with strangers. well, maybe QT young 20 year old gurl strangers, hahaha. but what does it say when they gather up in parties to cuddle as many people as possible? that they are fooking NUTS. well DUH. were not looking to MARRY these sluts ahahha.

but like that article above says, the woman has to do a lot of Boundaries COnversations because a lot of the PTSD Veterans who havent touched a woman in 10 years, get ATTACHED and fall in LUV after cuddling with her for an hour.

actually 60 dollars an hour is not bad. i might actually do this if i can find an attractive woman.

so yeah. my big question, and ive wondered this for a while, is just laying there with your eyes closed and trying to sleep, does that have ANY benefit, does that Charge Your Batteries at All? i cant imagine it DRAINS you the same way being On during the Peak of your Day does.

but when i get ready in the morning, i have about 20 minutes of free time. i usually use this to lay down in bed, all dressed and ready to go, but just lay there and close my eyes for about 20 minutes. i dont actually want to go to sleep because i have to go to job. but I WANT TO THINK that this 20 minutes gives me a tiny boost and is almost like a 20 minute powernap, even though im not actually sleeping.

how accurate is that?

or what about if youre just having trouble sleeping at night. tossing and turning. one hour goes by. then another. then another. you worry because you are only getting 2 hours of sleep and you have to sell bullshit stories tomorrow to people.

i want to think that just TRYING to sleep has SOME of the effect of ACTUALLY sleeping.

citation needed hehehe.

like today i did my “pre nap”. i laid down for 2 hours but marked down only 1 hour of actual nappng. shit be lucky if it was actually 45 minutes! but I still hope that the nap i had will help me tonight and tomorrow.

no i will be ok tomorrow. its not like i have a job where i have to sell bullshit lies to people and push them off with bullshit excuses.

apr 26

ok survived the day with “only” 5 hours of sleep. i mean i have the easiest job in the world, its fooking stupid. i wish i could be more charming and interesting with the colleages. i mean i am NICE buy i am not very CHARMING. in the competitive world of Productive Enterprise where you always have to sell yourself and establish Competitive ADvantage. I mean the most INTERESTING thing about me are my HORRIBLE, NARROW MINDED, BIGOTED bigotry and racism! that I cant even DEFEND from SHITLIBS who believe in knapsack of privilege and Everybodys Equal! then raise your children and move your family to a nonwhite ghetto, captain save a thug hahahaha. oh whats that? you live in a 94th percentile charles murray superzip? hahahaha. yeah but there is plenty of diversity. indians and asians with masters degrees and phds. analysts and engineers.

wow actually doing good at poker table today, won 2 good hands and now i am up from buyin of 4 to…..8. and i do NOT want to lose it! at a higher stakes table than i like to be at. making my money from a loose aggressive player.

i probably linked this a few months ago and it deserves to be linked again.

i dont hate TRS, I dont think enoch is a j00, i just agree with anglin on pretty much everything he said about enoch and trs. they handled the situation TERRIBLY at the time, they still COULD fix it, it was STUPID how they banned so many people from the forum for simply asking questions about a serious issue. its not to late to apologize. its not too late to unban. i dont think mike himself is a joo at all. many people on stormer think he is, i think thats stupid. i dont mind if anglin links TRS. he should. i agree, TRS adds too much value to the movement and our RACE NOT to link them. i guess enoch still does great daily shoahs. i liked the 2 minutes he was speaking at the spencer speech. would love to see enoch do things himself and have heated arguments with college shitlibs for hours.

but ill always be a bit sour on how they handled the joo wife situation, meaning i wont be as RAVING of a fan of them, wont be as EAGER to gibs them SHEKELS, compared with how I EAGERLY gib shekels to anglin. i have a mancrush on him that hasnt been soured. i couldnt see anglin handling a situation like this. all they needed to do was be transparent and apologize and not act like they were HIDING something.

i KNOW they just made a mistake like humans very often do. but its still not too late to apologize for the mistake, and they havent done that, and it doesnt seem like they ever will! and I would be even MORE sour if they ban me from TRS forum just because I dont post, and took a break, and mainly lurk, and asked good faith questions on other sites, and wasnt THRILLED with how they handled it, AND I donated money directly to sven stating my username before all the doxings. it was right after sven was doxed and before mike was doxed. those doxings were very different because sven didnt have a joo wife. worse, i really liked sven and he was probably involved in a lot of the Unjust Bannings at the forum. I don’t blame him for not blabbing about the joo wife, i would be more butthurt at him for banning so many people and for not gently pushing mike to do more and say more and for letting him get off so…..easily. well. apart from losing his job, family, reputation, livelihood, hahahahaha.

it was a RIDICULOUS situation, it still is, MONTHS later. but mike is a great speaker and thinker and should totally do public events like spencer.

the lovefest i have now with anglin is like the lovefest i had for mike and sven before all the shit went down.

i still enjoy the fatherland and hope to hear no1 again.

just SHUTTING DOWN all discussion of an important topic is not super cool and I WISH the higher ups would understand that and mike would just suck it up for 1 hour and make a heartfelt statement. i mean, he’s lost EVERYTHING, what else does he have to lose? it makes so little sense its frustrating. cant even blame it on joos because i really dont think they are!!!

but yeah The Movement has ALWAYS had infighting and drama like this. ALWAYS. but this was the biggest deal for me, because TRS really changed the game for me, took the movement to the next level, brought it into the current year, became the full realization of VVN 2.0 we’ve all wanted.

yeah well thank GOD anglin is also doing that.

https://bbs.dailystormer.com/t/dear-women-boys-do-not-like-a-little-bit-more-booty-to-hold-at-night/101967

hehehe fatshaming.

i do like “a little bit more booty”, but I think I’m basically just agreeing with anglin anyway. i dont mind a Kinda Big Butt in that we know women naturally have Bigger Butts and Thighs and Hips than Men, and thats FINE. andrew is of course talking about FAT SLOBS, which IS a BIG problem. and they SHOULD be shamed.

QUOTE For instance, if you see an interracial couple, you can stop and say, enthusiastically “wow, you guys are such a cute couple,” she will almost certainly interpret this as you giving her exactly what she wants – social approval for her brave social justice act. So then, while she’s smiling, look the stupid bitch straight in the eyes and say

“your father must be so proud.”

Then, start laughing, and walk away.   END QUOTE

he gives a lot of clear, actionable advice for young men who dont know these very valuable Life Lessons. I recommend doing these things. classic. anglin clearly knows his shit about women. see laughing is best because it shows total superiority, and that you are not BUTTHURT about it. even though it is justified to be butthurt about hwyte gurls being mudsharks. but you can just LAUGH at it because you know you can pull a better hwyte woman who isnt a mudshark.

QUOTE

Women have exactly zero desire to be “respected” by men who view them as “equals” – women desire to be dominated by men who view them as property.

I want my boys to get laid, I want my boys to sire strong white children with beautiful white women. And I am teaching them to be the kind of men who get that job done.

My agenda is to save the white race by helping men to become men again, and I don’t give a f0ck about the tears of you pussy-worshiping cowards who have abandoned OUR WOMEN to their own fundamentally self-destructive natures by refusing to give them male guidance through the mechanism of public shaming.

You white knight cowards are the ones who are destroying OUR WOMEN by abdicating your masculine duty to put them in their place where they are safe and protected by men who dominate and own them, while at the same time claiming that any man who stands up and does his masculine duty is the bad guy.

White knights are worse than J00s – they are traitors.

END Q

what a great writer! if he made a fiery SPEECH like this, people would be talking about it for months, yet this is just one of 10 articles he writes a day and prob will be forgotten soon. he needs to be doing articles like this in SPEECH form. this would start a fooking RIOT with antifa, and made the good guys look irresistable to women.

i don’t 100% agree that “white knights are worse than joos,” but i think this is andrew being provocative. i mean white knights ARE bad. but i think most are just naive and andrew is trying to wake them up. Get MAD, you sons of bitches!!!!!

good quote from poster: Simple experience with women teaches you this. Women never feel guilt for something they do, only shame for getting caught. Every cheating woman ever feels this way. As long as their man doesn’t know, then there is no problem as far as they are concerned. The courts also recognize the inherently amoral nature of women.  END

shame vs guilt. guilt is much better because it means you actually have morals. since women naturally do NOT have morals, we NEED to SHAME them.

EXTREME PROBLEMS DEMAND EXTREME SOLUTIONS. (not violence hahahahahaha but total verbal public shaming)

so some of the guys kicked off of TRS started a new forum around that time called the purity spiral dot com, look it up hahaha. i signed up for it but havent really read it, heard there are good effortposts there. thats the only thing i dont like about DS BBS, is some of the people seem SO RETARDED and have a huge chip on their shoulder. cant even tolerate a tiny difference in opinion with their white bruders.

hehehe my copy of MEIN K4MPF cannot be delivered fast enough hahahaha.

also i should really get a firearm, i would just like a basic bitch handgun, that’s it.

ideally i should get a concealed carry license just to essentially get TRAINING on how to be a Good Goy With A Gun. Although I really like Open Carry because of the signal it sends: dont even TRY to start shit here, ya filthy animal.

but i have no training on how to properly use, own, maintain a firearm. I’ve fired a firearm no more than 25 times in muh whole life.

apr 27

welp one day at a time haha. decided to start getting up at 5:20 am instead of 5 now. because it CHARGES THE BATTERIES MORE and gives me MORE ENERGY, even if only MARGINALLY, to  sleep an extra 20 minutes than just to lay there are pretend to sleep. although i hop that pretending to sleep does charge batteries a LITTLE.

actually changing that to 530.

this does NOT mean i can stay UP 30 minutes later at night. no. it means i STILL should go to bed at 800 and try to just get more sleep. try to aim for 8 hours and 30 minutes EVERY night.

so basically i was butthurt that women are not MORAL and women are not LOYAL. why cant women be MORAL or LOYAL. they just get to get away with saying sorry thats not how we were born, we dont have it in us, so manage expectations!

and you get butthurt to think that ANY HUMAN BEING, man or woman, hwyte or nonwhyte, NOT be CAPABLE of being MORAL and LOYAL. you just need the WILL.

so which is? can we expect women to be moral and loyal, or is that really TOO MUCH for them?

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/National_Socialist_Program#The_25-point_Program_of_the_NSDAP

big dnation drive for daily stormer today as weev posted official article on splc lawsuit on anglin, set up a wesearchr for anglin, just hope that doesnt get shut down and he actually gets the money. i just sent him 5 dollars in btc hahahahaha. big dnator hahaha. because if the wesearchr doesnt actually reach 150k, then he gets nothing. that would suck!

https://bbs.dailystormer.com/t/abortion-and-subsequent-break-up/102137

abortion story on BBS. dont kill your babies! i dont think this guy fully appreciates the gravity of it. but theres a great point about how the woman will resent you if you go along with the abortion. its a giant shit test to get you to say DONT KILL MY BABY.

everything about women is so bad. its stupid to want women. they are SO MUCH NOT WORF IT.

really i hate not being STRONG enough to HANDLE just a normal, average woman. It’s mens JOB to MANAGE their women, and I can’t handle that job. not tough enough. not MAN enough. gotta MAN UP!!

there are a few guys on DS BBS that are such woman haters that they think that if you dont support BEATING women you are a WHITE KNIGHT beta Cuck hahahaha. if you are just a reasonable guy like me and only want to spank women. and sometimes the woman beaters make great points about women. but dont call the men who dont agree with beating women white knights just because they dont want to PUNCH a woman in the FACE. i agree with the white knights: we are white men and should behave more honorably than that. we dont need to beat our women, we dont need “SHARIA” we dont need to call women Things or Property. YES, we need to be IN CHARGE and LEAD our women. be the BOSS of them. but it doesnt mean we OWN them. really. they are more like PETS than PROPERTY hahahahaha. you OWN them but you LUV them too. like your children.

believe me, if anyone is open to extreme woman hating its me. and even i cant be convinced to be as EXTREME as some of these guys. even though i agree that EXTREME PROBLEMS NEED EXTREME SOLUTIONS. we dont need to PUNCH women (unless its antifa gurl hahahaha).

but the “toxic” woman-beaters DO have a decent number of GOOD points about women! alot more that the broken clock is right 2 times a day! these guys are right at least 10 times a day! they shouldnt beat women though! or hate them THAT much!

but the WQ is a huge deal because it affects us ALL, DEEPLY, EVERY DAY. except for the lucky few that have a halfway decent rel with a halfway decent woman. and you gotta be way above average TOUGH and STRONG to pull that off. but as NS VVN’s, this is is what we strive towards hahahaha. being super tough and strong.

BLESSED ARE THE STRONG! THE MEEK SHALL INHERIT NOTHING!

hehehe ive repeated that several times.

well i got well below 1500 calories today, got about 1200. so that was good.

i just hate not being a normie and being so far gone and so weak and pathetic that i can never BECOME a normie!!!!!! :rage: :crying:

even if anglin loses this case, he’s not going to go to JAIL. at worst he will have to shut the stormer down. which would suck. but i think he would find  a way to SOMETHING after that. i mean its amazing he keeps the site up at all anyway!

could the govt seize his BITCOIN??

i mean we have heard stories of bitcoin being seized right? like dread pirate roberts and silk road and all that.

AWWWWW YEAAAAAHHHHHH

GEORGIE BOY IS BAAAAAACCCKKKKKKKKKKKKK

seems like more of the same, except now he has wiped out his subscribers and all his videos! which kinda sucks. i also hoped he would be gone for longer so he could have a REAL break and hopefully make a change.

saved his new email address hahaha.

now all the stupid haters will be back. i am the most bona fide, good faith, honest supporter of george there is.

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PLEASE SCAM ME

dec 25 2016

merry xmassssssssssssss

hehehe i like this brand new tradition i just started where i give xmas donations to decent people. paypal or bitcoin. gave donaations today to fatherland podcast, counter-currents aka grindr greggy, NPI aka richard spencer, daily stormer aka andre, smaller dnation to good morning huhwhyte america with adam and mary. i only listened to 1 episode but i know they are great people, adam appeared several times on fatherland, and GMWA is a beautiful family-oriented husbando and waifu pro-white podcast, which is comfy AF and just good stuff. also very pro-christ hahahaha.

also gave small dnation to GEORGE FEELS and hope he reads my message talking about using small amounts of medical MJ to help with his despair, doing a skype talk one day, using myfitnesspal to count calories and lose weight, and to look moar into the alt-right. really should have given him moar than 5 dollars, but hey he works 30 hours a week hahahahahaha. more than i do!!!!!!

have now dnated 190 dollars to alt-right causes in my life hahahaha. 45 dollars was in bitcoin hahahaha.

heres the message i sent to GEORGE FEELS:

Merry Christmas George! Just found your channel this year and I can relate. Don’t listen to the haters in your comments! But I would respectfully recommend 2 things: 1. do an in-depth experimentation with the legal MJ in your state and make a series of videos fully describing your experience. I suspect that MJ, at the right dosage, can alleviate despair somewhat. 2. MyFitnessPal is a GREAT tool for measuring calories in one’s diet and exercise. It helped me lose a ton of weight fairly quickly. The main thing was that I was simply eating WAY more than I really needed! See the actual numbers helped me discipline my raging appetite haha. You should also check out more Alt-Right stuff like The Right Stuff forums, great positive group of people that can help you feel good about your legacy as a Huhwhyte Man. One day I would ideally like to have a Skype talk with you, but maybe in 2018 haha. Maybe think about recording skype talks with other like minded people. (NOT the hecklers in your comments!!!!) Take care and next time you feel like sipping the Fermented Joo, please try a SMALL dose of The Herbal Joo instead, hahaha. Best wishes to you and your family! Also, are there any young fresh off the boat Ukrainian girls arriving in your area? You could potentially show them around, hahahaha. Take care buddy.

hehehehe. arent I SO NICE???!?!?!?!

I wouldnt send him any money if he were not HUHWHYTE.

There’s a chance he could be a JQ because a lot of JQ’s came from Da Ukraine, I’ve met some IRL. But pretty sure he said something about his family being somewhat christian. of COURSHE j’s can convert to christian, and i don’t like that, but…..gonna give him the benefit of the doubt. i guess there’s a chance he might have uzbek or kyrgyz in him. also gonna give him benefit of doubt. he looks more than 50% huhwhyte. despite the brown hair and brown eyes hahahaha. if he reveals he is not huhwhyte, i will not give him anything next year hahahaha.

if he is 25% jooish and 75% huhwhyte, i would also give him the benefit of the doubt. i am remarkably generous towards quadroons who choose to identify with their huhwhyte side.

played some poker on xmas eve and had a remarkably good day. doubled from 4 to 8 basically after 3 or 4 good hands. PRAISE GOD.

hahahaha i had the first and so far only xmas day dnation to andre anglin hehehehe YOURE WELCOME. he cashed it out within 30 minutes. which is smart, considering the VOLATILITY of btc, and that its own a downswing right now. ENJOY your 6.16 USD goy hahahaha. buy fookin 6 shitburgers on christs bday. how cheap and JQ am I?????!?!?!?!?!?!?

and not many people are dnating to good morning white america at all.

that feel when you are watching the travel channel and you see a jooish gurl you used to go to jooniversity with, and now she is a phd scientist commenting as an expert for TV shows hahahahaha. then you look the tv clip and confirm it is actually the person. she is about your age. well it doesnt say PHD after her name, but she is probably a PHD hahahahahahaha.

well i didnt really hate the gurl. she was a little autistic and weird and jooish, and i knew her because she was dating an acquaintance of mine who was super weird and super autistic and rather jooish hahahaha. this was like 11 years ago. yeah she looks older of course, but it still looked so much like this woman, i had to do some internet research. confirmed it is indeed her. well good for her, i never really hated her. well, other than i was suspect that she didnt give my jooish male acquaintance a fair enough chance. he could not have been easy to date though, he was confirmed super autistic. and they dated for pretty much a long time.

see, i used to be friendly and social with Literal Joos!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

and i would give them both a pass to get out of the oven hahahaha. i wouldnt have a problem with them going to israhell tho hahahahaha.

not gonna donate any money to THEM, they are jooish professionals making like 60 grand a year each hahahaha. at least.

but yeah they werent individually wrecking nations and genociding whites and promoting degeneracy. they were pretty neurotic joos tho!

where do you get off being a BLUE EYED JOO? I just dont get or like that. I mean this gurl was not an ugly ratfaced joo. now i’m wondering, was she even really a joo? I thought she WAS, but yeah, nonugly, blue eyes, you start to wonder. maybe only half JQ?

she wasnt a horrible person though. i would spare her the oven. and him. i liked him better hahahahaha.

just an unexpected thing to see on tv on christmas while watching travel channel with the fam.

i actually sent an EMAIL to george feels because after d’nating to him, I had a concern that concerns him. not going to talk about it here, but we’ll see if he emails me back. used muh new alt right email hahahaha. maybe he will be too intimidated. i tried not to be too intimidating, overwhleming, or pushy, or overbearing.

super JQ tv station vice showed terminator 1 last night, which is a great movie, and my god was linda hamilton not bad looking when she was 24 years old. horry sheet. unfort she shows her bare bosoms like a jooish wh0re. but its a very white knighting sentimental true luv secs scene. i still dont think they should have made her show her milkers though. show true luvsecs without any nudity. other than that the movie is good and not very jooish at all. but yeah my god was she a qt in 1984. in the healthy non-woman-hating man, this will kindle a natural white knight urge. in the mgtow woman-hater, it will kindle nothing, it will make you say, fook you, i’m not gonna white knight for some damn skank, thats how they GET you.  hahahahahahaha. hell no im not gonna fall for this TEMPTRESS’S TRICKS!!!!!!!!

rather you identify with kyle reese and say yes i am going to protect this woman. i mean thats what you SHOULD do.

not resist your NATURAL urge to white knight because bitches be bitches taking advantage of this urge to get gibs! which they DO….but not all women hahahahahahahahahaha.

hmm. i mean if women were damn crafty parasites looking to scam as much gibs as possible…..they would be approaching me and trying to scam ME, thinking, what can i use this poor neet omega virgin for? but that literally NEVER happens!!!!!!!

maybe im just not good enough to even be scammed hahahahahahahahaha.  i mean ….

well i DO have resources that can be scammed!

PLEASE SCAM ME!!!!!!

hhehehehehehehe

i guess im not considered the LOW HANGING FRUIT because i am invisible and im literally NOT advertising that i have a lot of resources to easily scam. like, they’d actually have to WORK to scam me. and yeah, they WOULD. I mean I actually VET people. EXTREME VETTING. I vetted HER too. and she passed the vetting! I still wont retroactively flunk her there! because what she did was simple cowardice, not really a 180 of character, even though it FELT like it at the time, because it was SOOOOO painful.

like they say, never attribute to malice what can be explained by ignorance. or cowardice. or laziness. she was ignorant and lazy and especially cowardly, but i really dont think she was EVIL.

not gonna donate any money to HER though hahahahaha. she doesnt do anything to strengthen our huhwhyte race hehehehehe. refuses to have anything to do with me.

they say you are over someone when you just don’t care if they are with someone else. well i guess im not there yet but i guess i am kinda close. i mean i dont want to know that she is with someone else! i just dont want to hear about her EVER AGAIN.

well yeah in a way i always care. because im like b1tch, you coulda been WITH ME. damn. i just dont want to hear ANYTHING about them EVER again, unless they want to be with me.

hmm hope paypal didnt shut down my account because im not using my real name. using my alt right name, just opened this account a few weeks ago, to start sending donations under a fake name. tried to send one to TRS and it wouldnt let. either me or TRS has the prob. i would think they would have more of a problem with TRS. “h8” group receiving thousands of shekels. rather than me donating like 20 dollars to various people.

2016-12-25-18_25_00-mint-_-transactions

hahahahahahahahaha SO GENEROUS!!!! SO HUMBLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

this is how i stroke muh ego and muh conscience. i mean i am totally getting something out of it too. a lot. lets not pretend to be SELFLESS about it! the satisfaction is really THAT strong. it’s almost unfair to THEM. i get WAY more Satisfaction out of donating 5 dollars than they get by GETTING 5 dollars!!!!!

but some people wont donate to george because they feel his current videos arent really doing anything. i disagree. and i give him a LITTLE money just as a good faith thing, to put my money where my mouth is, and maybe he will take my advice more seriously. I really WOULD like to see him try some MJ, make videos about it, and i think myfitnesspal really COULD help him lose weight.

as far as getting women, i don’t even know. i’m almost as much a foreveralone virgin as him.

and i also think becoming more racially aware and alt right could help him the same way it helped me.

so i give him this advice and give him a cash tip to show I’m serious hehehe. i mean i dont think he is getting TONS of donations. i bet he gets BARELY ANY. so when somebody donates ANYTHING, he’s likely to LISTEN to them.

i mean shit. he makes more money than I do. probably TWICE as much money as me. ANd I’m donating to HIM?

want to donate ME money? send bitcoin to

13AZJj5mo4QT8UqE9A4v4cERBQ6wFuEF5d

please hahahahhahahahahahahaha.

uhhhh i dont want to give any of my paypals, i’d have to set up a third paypal for this blog, becuase i don’t want to blatantly confirm my alt right WN identity on this blog, though you can probably figure it out, and thats not even a huge deal to me. i just dont want to make it EXPLICIT, exactly because I don’t want to brag about being a neet loser basically. and being a neet loser undermines my credibility as a WN.

it doesn’t go both ways, me saying I Am A WN on this blog doesn’t undermine my credibility as a NEET……because as I neet, I by definition HAVE no credibility!!!!!!!

Neets are more Punished and Shamed than WN’s! Neets are more hated than White Racists!!!!!!!!!

heh. good thing i have both bases covered.

funny how we can see linda hamilton go from being 24 year old beautiful waifu qt, to being like 57 years old in 2016. An Old Menopausal Infertile Withered Old Hag. She’s prob not obese though. could be tho. I heard Shelley Duvall is now obese.

i am not even gonna look up 2016 photos of either of these women. even by T2 in 1996, linda hamilton had certainly lost a lot of her youthful beauty. it’s a direct function of youth!!!!!!! and that was TWENTY fookin current years ago!!!!!

have invested about 130 dollars GAMBLING since i started gambling at the bitcoin poker room in early 2014. almost 3 years. 130 dollars.  43 dollars a year. thats not horrible. i have seen people blow through like 500 dollars in 2 hours at the real casino. HORRIBLE.

dont know what else to say about that!

but i tell you what, i wouldnt mind to have the privilege to go down the street and buy some dank MJ like George Feels can hahahaha. its really weird how he doesnt really mention it. I’m sure he prob mentioned it for 1 minute, or maybe 1 comment, probably something like “i’m not interested in it” or “i tried it once and didnt like it.” but i think he should at least do a full video on it, and he hasn’t done that. he’s mentioned alcohol blatantly in the title of several videos!

and i think MJ would do him better than alcohol.

not saying he should smoke an oz a day, or get so blazed he has a panic attack. which is a very real possibility for many people, including myself, and the THOUSANDS of people who go to EMERGENCY ROOMS in colorado now that mj is legal, and people get SUPER blazed, have a panic attack, think they’re dying or having a heart attack. i’ve BEEN there, DONE that. it HAPPENS, don’t DENY it, you damn degen stoners. anyway, just saying he should take one puff, get a little blazed. better than getting drunk thats for sure.

it just seems WEIRD that a person who lives in a state with LEGAL MJ would not even TRY MJ and make a big obvious statement on it. while others of us daydream about taking a trip to colorado and smokin tons of legal MJ hahahahahahaha. i mean i might just do it. and visit george while i am there. convince him to sm0ke with me hahahahahahahaha. be like try this maaaaannnn, your life isnt getting any better, you arent getting any younger. hahahaha.

wow looks like george michael dead is NOT a hoax. died on xmas. today. kinda ironic because of his huge hit xmas song. last xmas by WHAM! of course. age 53. nothing saying cause of death. i dont think he had GRIDS tbh. maybe drugs then.

one simply does not pass away peacefully at home at age 53. coulda been cancer. that sucks worse than GRIDS. dying of cancer at 53. sheeeeeeeeit.

i mean yeah he was a gay degenerate but so many Famous People died this year. and really, george michael is not as significant as leonard cohen, david bowie, or prince. but you see what i mean. and cohen was the only one that was really OLD and dying at what i would say is a natural age.

yeah well not even degenerates deserve to die on christmas day at age 53. he had a greek name, not sure how white he was. i guess he was a greek cypriot. cypriot greek. i mean its borderline fam. the ancient greeks were absolutely huhwhyte i know. but modern greek cypriots?????? i mean the man was swarthy af. he had the thickest beard I have ever seen. he was pretty handsome tho. but degenerate. he didnt HAVE to be so degenerate.

sheeeeit i wish i had been born in like 1996. kids these days dont WANT to do drugs, they dont WANT negro secs, they WANT to be alt right traditionalists!!!!!! this new generation is interested in the old morality! and NOT in being degenerates, like my older generation was/is!!!! we were all like, yeah lets get FOOKED UP because getting FOOKED UP is FUN and FEELS GOOD and IF IT FEELS GOOD, DO IT!!!!! nothing was sacred, absolutely nothing. all women were dirty sluts. the only pleasure in this world was to get fooked up on alcohol and drugs, cuz everything else sucks.  beat off to porn, go to strip clubs, maybe bang some sluts at best.

young kids these days are rejecting this garbage, AS THEY SHOULD.

so yeah i have a lot of hope and optimism in the young kids of today, in other words. like the kids who are 16 to 20 right now, in 2016. but people who are 26 or older? fook no. they’re finished. beyond redemption.

hey i WANT to be redeemed. I am done with being a degen. HOWEVER I still want to sm0ke MJ. I’m not WILLING to give that up entirely. i want a PASS on that one. i AM willing to keep it a SECRET from the alt right hahahahaha because i totally udnerstand why they don’t like it. i wouldnt want my kids doing it. more than once a year hahahahaha.

i just need it for medicine because i am irreparably broken hahahahahaha.

i know its shameful and i dont have a problem keeping it in the closet!!!!!

but as long as i dont have it i will continue to talk about it hehehehehehe.

also i would only talk about it in the “CLOSET” of muh neet blog, and NEVER in the out of the closet on my alt right blog, which I don’t really have. I guess muh neet blog would be it!

i mean its gonna happen in the next 10 years. each state is falling one by one to the legal MJ train. and you cant just have a country where half the states have it and half dont. each of those states will EVENTUALLY vote in legal MJ. its INEVITABLE. and i am happy about that. just impatient.

well…..SHOULD i be so happy? because i can agree MJ isnt a generally GOOD thing. i just want to be the exception. so why should i want a society that encourages it? i shouldnt!!!!!!

could it be legal AND socially shamed? fook no. come on. look at alcohol and porn. those are tolerated and celebrated!!!!!! if you are an alcoholic yeah thats kinda shameful, but in every town there are bars full of people celebrating alcohol and getting drunk.

 

TO AN OMEGA, BETA IS ALPHA

aug 21

heh. on a sunday. get two rejection emails on a sunday for the hospital that i am interviewing at tomorrow. from the same woman i will be talking to tomorrow. thats always a confidence builder. get rejected for two jobs by a person the day before you are going to interview with that person for a third job. i mean the jobs seem about in the same ballpark of skill, except the one tomorrow is part time. maybe i am only qualified for part time jobs at this point in my life hahahaha.

the good LORD is inviting me to listen to this GRIS album finally. i really am looking for something slightly more atmospheric than depressive per SE, but “atmospheric” is kinda a big umbrella that arguably gave rise to BOTH “blackgaze” AND “depressive”. Gris is often lumped in as DSBM but they seem to be also More than that, so at the end of the day, “atmospheric” might be the more accurate genre hehehe. i hear their other album is good too. they are known for good songwriting. good for them.  i listened to 20 seconds of this one and 20 seconds of that one, and decided I liked the production on this one better. the other one was more trebly black metal, not bad though. i hope there are SOME blast beats in there.

two fookin interviews tomorrow, what do i look like, a damn machine.

gris album sounds promising. really bass heavy, i was surprised by that. its not bad, just weird. was hoping for a heavier guitar sound tbh. the vokills are really good though. very pained agonizing niege-like screaming, i guess this is sorta “DSBM”-y.  but the music seems Sophisticated and a bit Progressive without being too Alternative Shoegaze Postrock. i mean these guys USED to wear corpsepaint 10 years ago hahahaha. GOOD.

damn 11k a year part time job, i shouldnt even be preparing for this interview. they reject me for every other high school GED job though.

i have applied to FORTY-EIGHT jobs at this hospital in the past 4-5 months, and this is the FIRST interview i have gotten from them. unbelievable. see i wasnt surprised that my degree was useless, but i thought the Reputation of my Well Reputed School would be able to get me one of these High School Graduate jobs and not have to apply to 48 of them with the first interview being for a crummy 11 dollar an hour part time job, hehehehehe. i knew the degree was useless, but I didnt think it was THAT useless, and I thought the name recognition was worth more too.

IM SORRY. MY FAULT. I WAS WRONG, YOU WERE RIGHT.

I thought the name recognition alone would get me a 12 dollar an hour full time job EASILY.

NOT EVEN CLOSE.

well theres a lot of factors here, like its not like i just graduated. i am not a Recent Graduate at all! plus i have a Long Gap of Unemployment where I was obviously not going to University!

the other interview tomorrow pays a lot moar and is a lot closer. you could actually live off this and have a FAMILY. a WAIFU and HUHWHYTE CHILD or CHILDREN. take out a huge 30 year mortgage and hope your neighborhood stays white and your home does not lose value. good luck with that. because FEDZOG is gonna stick some section 8 houses in there at some point. everywhere hahahaha. i mean its really up to the landlord innit? do they want to take section 8 money or not?

http://www.hud.gov/apps/section8/

heheheheheh

aug 22

well this is a FIRST, I went to the hospital looking all good and did my typing test and got 59 words a minute, not too good but they were only asking for 30 not 60 or 70 or 80 hahahaha. the HR lady was nice and she was like the supervisor is very nice and down to earth, don’t be nervous, i was like, thank you, i dont get as nervous any more hahahaha. but then when we got in there, it took a strange turn, like you are overqualified for this, you will be BORED at this job, bored out of your mind, what were you making at your previous job, i told them, and it was uhhh 3.50 an hour more than what this position was paying. yeah i think that was the finishing fatality right there. i said well i am perfectly fine with “boring” tasks, I like a routine, and also that I was making a conscious effort to branch out past the IT/Computers field, because I hate being in a call center taking calls from angry people all day and getting confused and flustered hahahaha no i didnt tell them that but I almost wish I could!

it wasnt even a real interview but i will count it anyway because i had to get dressed and drive out there and i thought it was gonna be an interview!

there was a super duper qt young gurl in the HR office waiting with me for her interview. no older than 22. ridic qt. but she had brown hair and brown eyes and might have had some nonwhite in her. but i would have gladly betrayed my race with her hahahahahahahaha. i mean i dont SEE qt early 20s gurls like this every day, im not in COLLEGE any more!

and when you are in COLLEGE, you see HUNDREDS of gurls like this every day! its RIDICULOUS! talk about abundance! then when you get out of college, theyre nowhere to be found. i guess they go on to their illustrious careers making more money than me. being challenged. stretched out of their comfort zone hahahahaha.

sheeeeit i would LOVE to be bored on the job. but they caught me off guard and I saw there would be no convincing them. the hospital recruiter said she would forward my name to other departments so that i could be i dunno maybe NOT rejected for the other 47 jobs i applied for at the hospital. then made some remark that i should be focused on “good fit” and not just trying to get any old job, because you dont want to seem desperate. well she said it in a very tactful way so i did not take offense.

there was also a young black gurl in the HR office waiting for an interview who was obv kinda “GHETTO” and did not know how to dress or speak properly. no references hahaha.

so how should i respond to these types of things? tell them, no i dont think i’d be bored? i can’t say i AM desperate and i’ll take anything. i can’t say i’m emotionally unstable and can’t handle high pressure work, so i’d PREFER Boring work. i guess i could Give Them My word that, if hired, I would stay in the position for 1 year minimum and be the best employee they ever had, going above and beyond, well outside of the job description. yeah i guess thats the best thing to say. i would proactively find challenging, difficult, stressful problems to solve, and made sure that it was a struggle to survive each day without blowing my brains out hahahahaha. push myself to the LIMIT EVERY DAY.

its not a real job if it doesnt make you want to blow your brains out! where every day you are tempted to Walk Out and Ragequit or Panicquit without a backup plan!

well i sent the woman a thank you email anyway. waiting for my second “interview” of the day which she would certainly agree is a better fit for me. a computer/IT related job that pays 42k a year. shit to me that is TOO much. I am UNDERQUALIFIED for this one. OVERqualified for the “lab assistant” job. which she described as boring “DATA ENTRY.” I guess I could have told her I am looking EXACTLY for data entry. anything beyond that is too stressful.

I told her, well, the job description was kinda vague, I interpreted this more as an “Administrative Assistant.”

at the same time i did not want to fight with them too much. ok if you really dont want to interview me for this job, then fine. then stop rejecting me for the other jobs!

but i think going out there and taking the damn typing test and presenting myself was worth some Brownie Points, and might get me moved into some Internal Good Boy Pool. Best case scenario hahahaha.

well now i can start smoking ciagarets again hahahaha.

there were 4 people in there for interviews at 10 am on monday. at the hospital. i mean its a bigass hospital.

the unimpressive young black gurl, but good for her for trying to get a Job, but my god my white privilege was embarrassingly visible over her black disprivilege; the super cute 21 year old gurl. she was wearing a knee-length skirt (good) and non high heels (good!) in other words, she wasnt dressed like a business whore or a whore in general, which made me think “LOW NUMBER. LOW N. N<5. GOOD.” but she might have been partially something nonwhite. who knows. maybe she was just Italian or something hahahahahahaha. Trust me, Uncle Adi would totally have given me a pass on this one.  I SHOULD have struck up Small Talk conversation with her. i am sure she was nervous about an interview too.

and now i;m writing this bullshit when i should be studying for my MUCH MORE IMPORTANT INTERVIEW at 1;45.

ok i am back from that. it was OK but for the feeling that i was being rushed along. short and sweet. 45 minutes scheduled for the interview. i started rambling as I often do. well early on they stopped me and said we only have 45 minutes, lets try to keep it short and sweet, and I said “I understand completely. Will Do.”  hahahaha.   i had to answer honestly that I did did not know microsoft spcc. also i am not good at writing my own scripts and would need direction.  the IT supervisor seemed like a Nice Man and he had a huge beard and a keychain that said “#1 Dad”. He was about my age. the other people were HR and or project managers. I tried to go as quickly as I could. they said they were interviewing 3 people. I was very happy with the compensation and benefits. was, am. I got a little nervous trying to answer everything quickly. they even snuck in a “FUN” question about my favorite game or movie or TV show. I said welp I know there are probably a lot of gamers in here, I am not up on modern gaming, but I used to be really good at mario kart 64.

they asked me muh greatest accomplishment and i said gradjooating from Kollige, and also succeeding at my previous position, which was very challenging. a good Personal and Professional Growth experience it was, I said.

forgot to squeeze in the shit I had studied about the department. the 2 million dollar upgrade in 2013 or whatever.

i saw a big command center for some kind of emergency dispatch. there was like a 500 foot tv that is the most expensive piece of equipment in the county hahahahaha. i wonder how much taxpayer dollars went to that monstrosity. that would not be used by the IT department though. I dont think. well really it was like 50 10 foot tvs making up one ridiculously large screen. i mean why not have a projection like a movie screen. this was like a bunch of super large tvs. horry sheet. county executive gets some great photo ops there, and nonunion wagies can bitch about it in the local newspaper disqus comments, where I upvote all the racist and antiunion and right wing and grumpy comments.

so basically the woman from the hospital was saying, dont apply for rinky dink easy 11 dollar an hour part time jobs, it LOOKS DESPERATE.

but you ARE desperate, and also desperate for something that isnt so high stress that you will have another nervous breakdown. these NORMIES dont know what its like to be on the Edge every day!

i mean im not on the edge RIGHT NOW, but when i was working i was! like holy shit i cant handle this, i HAVE TO QUIT.

panic every damn day. not knowing how you are gonna make it through every single day. none of these people i see in interviews are like this. when you are in a state of constant on edge ness, it shows. heh. i probably show that (as well as muh desperation) in muh interviews.

there will be SOME phone work in the tech job that i interviewed for today, but it seems well worth it. there is all ready a “call taker” and we would be doing other tasks than constantly answering phones. plus it pays FOOKING 42 GRAND A YEAR, PLUS BENEFITS LIKE HEALTH INSURANCE, PAID TIME OFF, 401K with like 5% matching. it would be enough to LIVE ON, and have a WIFE, and have your own house not in a section 8 ghetto, and not be ashamed of yourself whenever you meet new people or women.  and proudly announce, I am a 35 year old man who makes 42 grand a year as a bla bla. and things are going pretty well thank you. i am happy where i am at. FINALLY, FOR THE FIRST TIME.

said there are THREE people interviewing. surprised they told me that. so I automatically have a 33% chance going in. well i was nervous and rushed today, so that probably brought me down to my average of 5% chance. (figuring 1 out of 20 interviews will lead to an offer. even if only 3 people are finalists hahahaha.)

i keep forgetting the asian company might call me back for a second interview.

its just….sheeeeeeeit that god damn pseudo interview is starting to rub me the wrong way. just go through the interview, it can be FAST, let me at least talk to the supervisor, but to shut down the interview after 1 question like that was just WEIRD and it really does not sit too well with me! but i realize people make mistakes and fook things up all the time, and i really dont think she was being intentionally bitchy. but shit. ever stop to think i might LIKE or WANT a boring easy job? because unstable panicky weirdos need to work too!

but i dont want to always be the panicky weak weird unstable emotional basket case nutjob who cant handle shit!

the haves and havenots. these NORMIES who HAVE their jobs and wives and normie lives and go to work every day, make 30 grand a year, have health insurance, can afford a home not in a drug crime jungle ghetto, dont want to blow their brains out every day, are not constantly on the verge of a nervous breakdown.

got a call from this testing company today about possible interview. call from actual manager. looked him up on linkedin before calling. got voice mail. left message. would not mind getting this Entry Level Testing Technician job close to home. I think I offered them 13.50 an hour after using glassdoor to get an estimate. however i have no experience. there is talk about lean manufacturing, six sigma, bla bla bla. do they explain those terms to the people who talk about them like they know what they mean? i have NO idea what these terms mean.

lean, agile, scrum, waterfall, its all the same bullshit to me.

but see some of the stuff is NOT bullshit. like Root Cause Analysis. they actually asked me about this in the interview today. I had to tell the truth that I did not have any formal training or work in this, but that I showed the initiative to try to determine root cause on my own because I knew how important it was. but there was no system or procedure. it was more throwing spaghetti against the wall and making it stick. only the top 20% level 1 monkeys even KNEW was root cause WAS. And I dont even know if i know what it really means. but my idea of Root Cause is that it is legitmately, no bullshit, actually imporatnt.

so i tried to bullshit and say, in a good way, that i have no actual training in root cause, but that I know its important and I tried to do it as best as I could without help or guidance or any idea if i was doing it right. like i guess it is an ACTUAL science. theres a right way and a wrong way. sheeeeeeit. that would involve teaching your level 1 wagies BEST PRACTICES rather than just throwing them in the deep end.

again its like fookin feral children. nell. you speak a weird feral language. you learn how to swim with the worst akwardest doggy paddling form. you have TERRIBLE FORM. that makes actually knowledgeable CRINGE. I cant believe we let him get away with that! welp back to our meetings and internet surfing, they have calls to answer.

hehehehe this is almost like low grade post traumatic stress hahahaha.

and that god damn WOMAN doesnt have to do 20 interviews, she doesnt need to know root cause analysis, she doesnt need to do Learning of her own Initiative, and she is a Full Year ahead of me with Work Experience! fooook that bitch! she doesnt need to DO anything because theres always some beta bitchboi who will do shit for the pretty gurl! she never needs to use her stupid brain and can smoke MJ all day! and make fookin 32 grand a year hahahaha.

i make her sound so evil and manipulative and she is not. she was never the type to take advantage of the supplications of white knights. but shit. how could you not, being surrounded by white knights all day.

i would! but i wouldnt “take advantage” of them. if anything i would be the one BEGGING for HELP. PLS HALP MEEEEEEEEEEE IM DROWNINGGGGGGG.

but yeah i kinda wish she CARED about how i was doing. the Year Of Pain where I struggled to Get Over Her, and now this struggle with job search. we used to talk about jobs and how ridiculously hard it was to find a good one. and now she has passed me up and left me in the dust. but not if i got one of these 40k+ jobs!

but nobody wants to hire me becuase i Seem Desperate and have been Long Term Unemployed.  this is the biggest loser a man can be. Jobs arent interested in him and WOMEN for DAMN sure arent interested in him in the LEAST. there is NOTHING more UNATTRACTIVE to a woman than a jobless bum. well, apart from a supplicating, weak omega male. and at least half of them have jobs hahahaha. try being the other half without a job.

and i hate the feeling that she was too GOOD for me, and i wasnt good enough for her.

but these employers are basically saying that i am too good for their 11 dah PT job and shouldnt even be applying!

well then reject me like you rejected me on all the others!

well, THOSE i got rejected because i was applying too INDISCRIMINATELY, and the HR dept NOTICED my SHOTGUN approach. He’s not TRYING hard enough, reject him. but call him in for this mickey mouse job….then tell him he’s overqualified and would be bored. wtf.

see its hard to make any real SENSE out of it, and again, i dont think there IS any lesson to be learned. just keep plugging away. like jack sprat on his fat ugly hambeast of a wife.

i mean i do UNDERESTIMATE myself and think i’m only worth 11 dollars an hour. maybe I AM really worth 42k a year!

well i know im worth AT LEAST 15 dollars an hour because i made that at one time! hahahaha.

but im not worth a nonslutty 25 year old n<4 woman who is chill and not super dramatic. well she turned out to be hahahaha. all women are capable of severe drama. even the ones who seem chill. but you know what i mean. some women are just EXCRUCIATING and OBNOXIOUS after you have spent an hour with them. like holy shit i wouldnt want to date her! its like its SO HARD for a woman to be NICE and PLEASANT and NOT OBNOXIOUS. and she succeeded very well, and that was VERY important to me.

i never had a “FUN” interview question until today. what is your favorite game, movie, or tv show. i smiled and said thats a good question. then told them i listened to nazi fascist white supremacist podcasts erry day, and depressive suicidal black metal, and all sorts of black metal black metal black metal, oh and some death metal and doom metal too, and i dont watch jooish tv or movies cuz all that is jooish filth, i stopped watching game of thrones because its jooish filth, i only watch crime shows and married at first sight and muh fav movies are mulholland drive, i stand alone, and the turin horse hahahahaha. basically really fooked up movies that if you ever saw them, you would think i was a fooked up maniac and completely unemployable.

so you have your NORMIE answers. and i did. i went with normie vidya games like mario kart because i legit loved mario kart 64 back in the day. i also like normie tv shows like breaking bad and jeopardy and king of the hill, and normie music like……tom waits? no, not normie at all. like a bunch of classic rock like led zeppelin and neil young and all that stuff. pink floyd, sure. grateful dead. people USED to listen to the grateful dead at least! i like normie movies like…………………i havent even SEEN a lot of newer normie movies. i like forrest gump and goodfellas and…. i cant even say kubrick cuz only WEIRDOS like kubricks WEIRD movies. im a movie buff or used to be, i swear….i just like weird movies 4 unemployable weirdos!!!!! shall we craft customized cover letters whilst watching the turin horse hahahahaha.

and the next time i actually WATCH turin horse i will probably be like yeah this movie IS totally overrated, I cant believe i fell for such obvious BULLSHIT. this is SO pretentious and bullshitty. you really do need to be in the mood for that one, hahahah.

also i am a white nationalist and a woman hater, hire me hahahahaha.  but i have VERY GOOD people skills and problem solving skills. no im not married and no i dont have any kids. THAT I KNOW OF, HAHAHAHAHAHA. but seriously folks. i havent been with a woman in over 10 years, for more than 4 weeks, EVER. hahahahahaha.

did 5 mile powerwalk. listened to some more of that gris album. the vocals are pretty much ideal and what i would try to do if i could write black metal type music. i love the tortured scream type vocals. but i guess i was looking for something with slightly catchier riffs and a somewhat diff guitar tone. i like the prominent bass and the bass playing is very catchy and the bass tone itself is great…….and i like for example opeth morningrise that has crazy bass….but i dunno it needs to be turned down a little bit, and the guitar turned a little up. but the vocals are pretty much perfect. love that style.

now going to try this album by saor

which is atmospheric black metal with folkish pagan bits where the folk element is scottish/scots type stuff. i of course luv scotland and scots and have yet to hear some “atmoblack” with that particular element. give it a try. the guy from panopticon playing drums. should probably give panopticon a try too. i like the idea of one guy in damn kentucky being a one man black metal machine. atmoblack hahahaha. i luv the idea of atmospheric black metal, but lets keep the hipster blackgaze stuff to a minimum however. but atmospheric black metal has been a thing since the early 90s.  and i have been a huge fan of “hvis lyset tar oss” and “filosofem” for many, many years.

you can be really “progressive” with black metal or you can be really “regressive” and it still works. now i dont like progressive anything except for a little bit in the musical sense. get really creative. i mean its not easy to do it well. but black metal is just possibly the best type of music hahahaha. IMHO. hehehehe.

heh got up at an almost respectable time of 645 am today. real working mans hours.