wed nov 22

april 8

ok made 3 oz meatballs with walmart 80 20 beef. the beef looked pretty good actually. hope it wasnt totally GMOd to hell. used regular hamburger buns with 2 of the 3 oz meatballs on them. essentially making a 6 oz burger or meatball sandwich. made 6 of these. put in freezer.

weev has been saying for years that you should teach your kids how to CODE. its more important than teaching them how to use a firearm. because the wars of the future will be fought with drones and robots and those with the best software, the best code, are gonna win, so learn how to code when you are YOUNG so you can be really really good when you are an adult.

this sounds sorta like coding academy for kids, coding summer camp for gurls, etc. of course weev is not about the social justice aspect of coding for GURLS, weev has a very good view on women.

but i am just butthurt because to get a 14 dollar an hour job coding, you have to be DAMN GOOD, you have to be in the top 10% of of coders. you better be an EXPERT in SEVERAL languages. i mean there is SO MUCH. you cant just learn a little, or even a lot. you need to learn a SUPER LOR and that is the BARE MINIMUM.  THEN you are at shit tier h1b indian chinese level. which is not good enough to get a job in the west. you are just replaceable by indians.  heh. i guess i wish i was more prepared for exactly HOW MUCH coding you need to be REALLY GOOD at, in order for the skill to be worth ANYTHING to you.

however, if i had started learning this stuff at age 5 or 6, maybe i wouldnt have hated it so much hahahha.

that was the problem with SKOOL and EDUCATION, is that it made me hate learning, hate knowledge, lose interest in everything, and not want to try or work, but just to obliterate my mind with drugs hahahahaha. i dont care about shit. nothing is interesting, everything is stupid and gay and pointless. who cares about any of this shit. how can i make money or get women with this shit. what is the payoff for knowing this stupid ass shit. id rather be jerking off to jooish porn and fookin up my mind with jooish drugs and jooish vidya games.

i was fooked up in the mind by the joo since like 7 years old hahahaha. hopeless. lost cause. bad seed. i shoulda just been born a joo. DAMN. THAT is a bad feel!

PORN is SO DESTRUCTIVE that it is the ONE THING the joos will give away FOR FREE.  i wish I had NEVER looked at porn. i think the first time i saw it, i was like 14 years old and looking at the sleazy “club” magazine, which was way more hardcore than playboy because the sluts would be bending over and showing their assholes and spread cvnts. and as a super horny 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22 year old, I thought it was the HOTTEST THING EVER. and the joo poisoned my brain and muh whole secs drive for 8 years of my young life!

i never thought at age 14 that this was a horrible jooish thing! i was like WOW this is the greatest hottest thing ever! damn i cant wait to jerk off to that tits and ass and pvssy 10 times a day! wow!

and i dont even think i was a porn ADDICT like some of the more unfortunate cases. i just think i was slightly above average. i think the average teen boy is horny af and wants to jerk off 10 times a day. that’s natural. thats NORMAL. that’s your body telling you to REPRODUCE.

hmm. well i was thinking that you make prostitutes or sluts or skanky milfs available for horny young teen boys. that would be much better than PORN. as ive said before, if a 15-16 year old boy can hook up with a 19-20 year old SLUT and just bang the shit out of her, i think that would be ideal. unless the boy falls in luv with her. which he well may! so why am I recommending this? is the reward worth the risk? theres a 50% chance he will fall in luv. but theres a 100% chance he will get the reward of confidence and masculinity around women, which will help him when it comes time for a real woman and not a practice gurl hahahahaha. so yeah reward outweighs risk. and of course you can have redpilled education for the boy on exactly why he shouldn’t fall in luv with the slut. and clear instructions on HOW not to.

clear fooking instructions. do this, this, and this.

john dewey is the biggest name in education. how jooed was dewey? probably pretty!

ok making a pot of tea instead of coffee for the first time in a while. putting some honey in it. honey is a miracle food hahahaha.

honey. chicken. cottage cheese. beef. butter. eggs. coffee. tea. i hear walnuts are supposed to be bretty good.

weev is not wrong. coding IS a very valuable skill. hwyte kids SHOULD learn it. but they cannot half ass it like i did. only take 2 classes of c++ and get up to Pointers and Polymorphism and Inheritance and be like IM DONE. FOOK THIS SHIT.

you need to get to pointers in like 1st grade and then just keep on truckin. so by the time you are 14 you have a bachelors in CS. this is what weev means when he says white kids must learn coding hahaha. and i agree with him!

well he might change his tune once he has kids. and he abolsultely SHOULD!

there are plenty of weev haters who think he is a Deep State Joo. oh just LOOK at him, he LOOKS like a joo, hes workign for the CIA. i dont think so. i could be wrong. if i am wrong, i will be very disappointed!

maybe i should get a c++ book and pick up where i left off haha. ummm i have a c# book! c# for dummies!

it just seems so hard to Bounce Back when you have Wasted Your Youth!

when i was young and jerking off to porn, i did not realize how jooish and wrong it was, but i did know that i wanted a special monog, trad, longterm rel with a woman, and i did not like sluts. but i was just SO HORNY that i couldnt resist the jooish temptation of porn. also i am one of the last generations that ever used actual porno magazines simply because we didnt have high speed internet, just dial up. heh. and of course i STILL managed to view some pron on it. remember saving pron on FLOPPY DISKS and eventually a CD ROM. good god. have mercy on us.

i became interested in bitches taking it up the ass, which certainly the INTERNET enabled that OBVIOUSLY JOOISH fetish. the most you saw in magazines were just the sluts showing their asshole. and that is jooish ENOUGH!

anyway enough of the walk down memory lane hahahahaha. gonna go for nice walk here outside, BEAUTIFUL day today.

anyway i just thought porn was a sin against the uncool christian god, and i was rebelling against that anyway. that porn being a sin was just as stupid as Premarital Secs being a sin.

premarital secs is doable (although still risky.) but if anything was ever INHERENTLY sinful, it is porn. you cant even joo a good excjuse for it hahahahahaha. other than you are young, extremely horny, and want to jerk off 10 times a day. i mean at that age you are basically a secs ADDICT anyway even WITHOUT the porn. but porn just makes it WORSE. just beat off 5 times a day WITHOUT porn. explain to your son or younger brother that the more he looks at this poison which was engineered by our Racial Enemies to destroy US, the less he is going to be able to talk to actual real women. you dont want to be a 30 year old virgin, do you? the less you look at of this propaganda poison, the sooner you’ll bang a realgurl!

i mean i ABSOLUTELY had a concept of Race by the time i was like 10 years old or younger because of The Blacks. However I had absolutely NO concept of jooz at that time. none whatsoever. and I’m sure the first time i did learn of joos, i thought it was Just Another RELIGION.

ok drank the whole pot of tea very quickly. 6 tea bags.

i am all about Powerful Phrases. since I have ADD  and millennials are proven to have an attention span less than a GOLDFISH (see time magazine) i can only understand brief soundbits. phrases. powerful phrases. give me one sentence on a flashcard that I can memorize and practice. a powerful sentence where each word is carefully placed to Get What You Want. Persuade and convince and Sell your audience on what you;re selling. because you always have to be selling something. very often it is your self. invest in me. pay me. hire me. dont fire me. spend time with me. be loyal to me. don’t leave me. have my children. dont cheat on me.

is this the same as begging and pleading? please do what I want? why can’t we ever want the same thing. why cant we be on the same team hahaha.

april 9

ok back to job tomorrow. today i want to do the “homework” of figuring out the best Process, the best Workflow, for this Project, so I can hit ground Running tomorrow, because I wasted like a whole day last week, which normal people would be FIRED for, and which proves i am a loser, inferior human being, a failure at life, cannot handle normie adult life, etc etc etc, will never make 27k a year, will never get a wife, never have children, etc

yeah well wife and children suck, they suck all your hard earned money! you dont want wife and children! just bang young sluts for the rest of your life and leave no legacy!

basically, because i have issues, i want to find a woman with issues, but not Too Many or the Wrong Kind of Issues, esp having too high of a number, being a mudshark, and being Borderline or Bipolar. but these are the most common issues women have!

so i was “lucky” enough to find a woman that had issues, but not the wrong kind of issues.  COME ON.

but it is true. a woman who is totally NORMIE would seem WAY out of my league. plus it would be OBVIOUS that she makes 4 times the money in her career. i mean at a certain age it just becomes NAIVE to IGNORE the money/success aspect.

heres an interesting idea: it is BETA/OMEGA/WEAK/REPULSIVE to perform cunnilingus on women. They immediately begin seeing you as a doormat wilting weak omega and start looking for ways to dump you, leave you, cheat on you, because what kind of strong, tough, protective man is gonna be down there munching the rug? its a sign of weakness and SUBMISSION. this is why its perfectly FINE for a woman to s your D, and you wouldn’t disagree THATS a sign of submission, no? so, its very likely to be a sign of submission when you munch the rug. and WOMEN HATE SUBMISSIVE MEN. they dont just dislike them. they HATE them. WOMEN are supposed to be submissive to MEN, not vice versa.

now, there are some men who hate munching rug and refuse to do it.

there are other men who LUVVVVV it.

there are some women who are ADAMANT about it. like its a DEALBREAKER if this guy wont munch muh rug.

as far as me, its something I am totally open to. in fact if I really like the gurl, I am very excited by the idea. in fact, the more I know and the more I like the woman, the more I am into the idea of rug munching.

but if its some brand new strange slut off the street, hell no, i dont want to get near that STANK BOX where 9000000000 guys have been! shes probably got a bunch of sperm swimming in there right now! EW! GROSS!

so theres the idea that if you munch rug TOO SOON, its viewed as submissive and disgusting by the woman. if you have a longterm rel, it’s probably safe for you to do once in a while and she wont lose any respect for you.

hard to say because I only did it once hahahahahahahaha. but i thoroughly enjoyed it! it didnt hurt that the gurl was qt as fook, solid 7.9, and 18 years old. the notion of licking an 18 year old gurl is a lot better than a 30 year old woman!

so yeah that was ALL GOOD, BELIEVE ME. I was happy to experience it, I wish i could have experienced a lot MORE of it, and I prob enjoyed it more than the actual PIV secs, because it felt like there was less pressure, it was less serious, I can be more confident about this.

but I wonder if it signalled to HER that I liked her too much and therefore  turned her off and she had to dump me? because at the time, I didn’t know her that long, because she was a SLUT who bangs guys within a week of first meeting them.

LIFE LESSON: dont risk it. dont get feelings for SLUTS, dont munch box on SLUTS, dont munch box until you have had a legit rel for a while, because its a SIGNAL of WEAKNESS AND SUBMISSION on your part, and will make the gurl DUMP you, so dont do it unless you WANT TO BE DUMPED. TOUGH MANLY MEN DONT MUNCH BOX.  until you have been like legit monog dating for……6 months. just estimating there.

this fookin guy mocks every move i make or dont make at the poker table. not betting enough. not betting correctly. betting out of position. how to lose with top pair. he tried to warn me, i didnt listen. i dont know how to read the cards, read the board, read other players. i am like a child who has no idea what im doing. i have no concept of the bare fundamentals. come take money from this FISH who doesnt know what he’s doing. whyd you do that. whyd you do that? are you an idiot or something? you CLEARLY dont understand how this game works.

it is VERY annoying and also confidence shaking because i am particlarly susceptible to having my confidence shaken that I dont UNDERSTAND the way things WORK. like yep this makes NO SENSE and I should JUST QUIT because its too confusing.

because i honestly dont know how smart i am. when I was 16, 17, I thought I was way smarter than normies. now I was like, wow, these normies know something I dont, they are smarter than me, I took an online IQ test that said I had 105 IQ and I thought I would be more near 120.

so when i run into Challenges, im like, hmm, maybe this is just too confusing for me to handle. i need an adult! but I am a grown ass man. but not REALLY! i am a pathetic excuse for a grown ass man! I am a manchild with SEVERELY arrested development!

and I HATE that. I just wish I was an official grown ass man.

yeah but MANY people are super immature hahahaha. some people NEVER grow up.

yeah but no one EVER RESPECTS those people.

anyway. so i dont think i made a big tactical mistake by slurping that sluts wh0re hole. at WORST, it was a SYMPTOM of my larger Submissive Supplicating Weakness that prevented her from having any loyalty to me. more importantly, she was a known quantity as a known slut, and her loyalty was diminished ANYWAY.

main point: use your D to establish DOMINANCE early on.

but yeah I remember being like, this is great, the girl cant get PREGNANT from this, I can actually fake my way a little easier at this, not so nervous, she seems to like it, this is hot as shit, maybe shes a slut but her 18 year old pvssy is pretty sweet nonetheless, i could do this EVERY DAY.

so yeah I dont blame myself or regret it one bit.

I do regret not POUNDING her more and not taking tons of pictures and vidyas hahahaha. I didnt take ANY.

ok i was grumpy and it was a sunday so i laid down to take a brief nap, that was not a bad idea

i gotta be careful with this rwriting, it has been even more negative than usual lately.  honestly just been avoiding it because its always bitching about women or about being a lsoer hahahaha. oh im just discovering this NOW ?!?!?!?! hahaha

but yeah the thought that you have been weak, less than a man, a weak little neet loser, failure at life, failure with women, cant reproduce, cant take care of your kids even if you could reproduce, just a failure at the Game Of Life in every way. bad feels man! and women and Employers rejecting you because they can see you are OBVIOUSLY a failure too! it’s not just you that can see it! the outside world CONFIRMS it! its not just you being HARD on yourself! you really DO suck that much at everything!

and then writing tons of stuff like this doesnt really help you pull yourself out of it.

if i ever have to dump a woman and i dont think i can handle it, i will pay a shrink 50 bucks to do it professionally. also i think i know the mechanics of how to do it. write them a nice letter saying i dont think they are a terrible person, but i dont feel the same way, sorry, the end. heres the number of a good shrink, heres some drugs to help you cope hahahaha.

apr 10

ok back to job monday. will really feel better once i KNOW WHAT IM DOING on this project, where I did succeed in making some progress today. basically by forcing myself through sheer force of will, not getting sidetracked, not getting autistic, really, just doing more of a halfass job hahaha rather than Analysis Paralysis hehehe.

foRcing shit onto kind of a messy spreadsheet rather than doing nothing at all.

so, feel a LITTLE bit better about that.

so this guy took his 17 year old daughter on vacation and let her drink alcohol and acted like that was normal hahaha. i was a little disappointed tbh hehehe. i just hope to GOD he gave her a curfew and said be back here by 10pm and dont fook any BOYS. he apparently let her hang out and talk to boys that were at the resort. i hope he took precautions to make sure she wasnt out FOOKING the boys.

so then i thought, is there ANY father out there who is OK with his daughter fooking boys? dont ALL fathers want their daughters to be a pure princess? that practically NO father is going to take a LAISSEZ FAIRE approach here and say, OH WELL, shes just gonna fook boys and theres nothing I can do about it?

I assumed that most fathers would not feel this way. most fathers would not be ok wth their daughters being casual secs sluts on vacation.

then i wondered if normie fathers had a forum on the internet where they talked about how to keep their daughters off the D.

like, do you let your 17 year old daughter drink on vacation, but make DAMN sure she comes back by 10 o clock?

i suppose if she wants to sneak off and fook a boy before 10 pm, then shes already a huge whore and theres nothing you can do.

i mean i trust this guy to be a good father. so i am studying his Fatherhood style. to make sure his son turns out not to be a Loser and his daughter turns out not to be a Slut.

Honestly. thats all people care about. is your daughter becoming a slut? is your son becoming a LOSER. or maybe its all I care about hahaha. well its true, I do care alot about that.

https://bbs.dailystormer.com/t/to-ladies-concerning-andrew/98012

heh. there is a secret ladies club on DS then. well these women should realize, if you arent a dirty race mixing slut, the mean things AA is saying about women dont apply to you!!!!!

http://cyber.eserver.org/unabom.txt

unabomber manifesto hahahaha. recommended by anglin. not the first person to recommend this work! i really should read it. really he should just write a damn book from prison, or give interviews, or just make his own damn recordings. we would ALL be better served by listening to ted kaczynski rambling off the top of his head for 60 minutes than watching a damn shitty tv program.

i wonder. children might naturally rebel. but will they rebel LESS against the idea of RACE than they do the idea of RELIGION? I rebelled against Religion because I felt it was Unjust, Unfair, saying you couldnt jerk off to jooish porn, and that everything was a SIN. this did not go so well with my Adolescent Urges.

I wonder if Race would have seemed a more Natural thing for me to be schooled in. like, you are so horny because thats your body telling you to make hwyte babies. and that is a beautiful thing. and porn is horrible because look how it treats white women. shit even nonwhite women dont deserve to be treated like that. youre not going to go to HELL if you bang your high school sweetie. and if you keep looking at that porn you’ll never HAVE a high school sweetie.

and focus on your career because every drink you take and MJ you puff and opioid you take and pron you jerk off to, then another step you take AWAY from having a hwyte waifu and hwyte children, and being a miserable childless neet loser who has nothing to offer anyone. just a damn useless parasite.

Uncle A and the NSDAP probably had a good program for raising boys into decent young men.

shit i cant blame my religious upbringing! 90% of people who went to my religious school turned out all right.

I was def SPOILED too much between the ages of 17 and 21 or so. some hardcore Chinee shit like we are going to lock you in this room and you are not going to come out until you are an engineer making 50k a year might have worked. ITS FOR MY OWN GOOD!!!!

ok to be a successful adult you have to be able to bullshit and sell shit all day. some people have the gift of Blarney, you can see it as young as age 14, these extravert normies have a high verbal intelligence and are makign friends and influencing people from a very young age. they dont struggle so much with it. the italians are good at this hahahahahaha.

 

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JUST SAY THE WORD HUHWHYTE

mar 19

wazzzup world hahahahaha

sunday morning today as well, just drinking coffee and farting and reading new blog post and watching rare history channel program on WW2.

  1. actual historical content on the HISTORY channel is so rare. you are lucky to see one program a week.
  2. naturally its very by the book shit of hitler and germany being monsters who need to be wiped off the face of the earth by the valiant allies.

not denying the bravery and courage and toughness of the allied soldiers. just that we were jooed into the war. jooed by literal joos and cowards into fighting against our german brothers. never should have happened.

did hitler really want to violently conquer all of france? i have to wonder if this is just another one of those joo lies. the idea of lebensraum did not mean he wanted to conquer all of europe by force. or did he. am i being to nice to AH.

yeah well it probably would have been a good thing if he had. introduced race conscious NS to all of europe. i do bet he would have allowed European Ethnic IDentity to be encouraged, like yeah you’re still FRENCH and youre still DANISH and youre still POLISH and youre still ENGLISH. i guarantee he wouldnt have tried to make everybody “german.” prob would have been flexible in allowing each nation to develop whatever kind of fascism worked best for its people. he wasnt trying to make some kind of pan european euromutts. and violently subjugate other europeans.

i mean shit he was allies with italians and spaniards and croatians, you think he would have genocided POLES? he just wanted 10% of some polish land that was pretty inhabited by germans anyway. i think they could have worked something out. or were poles actually the assholes who started ww2. yeah wel if they were i still blame the joos who were lousy in poland just like they were in russia. where did these people COME FROM. khazaria of courshe hahahaha. which was closer to poland and russia than to germany for example.

was winston churchill an ALCOHOLIC???? AH sure wasnt hahahaha. also FDR was a marxist j00 who was so crippled that his even more communist jooish lesbian WIFE was essentially president for 8 years.

i will single handedly change the current course of history and stop our hwyte women from being stupid racemixing sluts!!!!! and make them GOOD again! i will rise to that challenge and CHANGE THE WORLD!!!!!

this is the Talk Of A Champion that you are supposed to replace negative thoughts with, hehehehe.

take negative thoughts and say NO!!! NO!!! YOU SHALL NOT PASS!!!! to them, and REPLACE them with POSITIVE thoughts of how you will WIN like a CHAMPION. HAIL VICTORY!!!!!!!

welp maybe i wont single handedly change the course of history, but i can certainly change one person. even if that one person is “only” myself. shit that would make all the difference in the world.

dont waste time trying to BE a womans father figure. THATS HER FATHERS JOB. and if her father didnt do HIS job, dont sacrifice yourself to clean up HIS mess. even if the gurl is not a huge whore hahaha. she will just find other ways to break your heart and be a huge disappointment.

better to not throw time and energy into a bad investment, and find a good investment, and find a woman you can have your own children with, and YOU can be a good father.

terrible few days for bitcoin, bad week for bitcoin, really a bad MONTH for btcoin hahaha. i mean its gone down 200 dollars just in the past 4 days or so. terrible.

ok. took huge dump, trimmed beard for weekly sunday #2 length beard. i guess #1 length would be The Don Johnson hahahahaha.

http://bbs.dailystormer.com/t/no-fault-divorce-wife-leaves-husband-for-some-black-guy-media-praises-him-for-being-the-perfect-cuckold/92868

guy is a great father to his son but is a terrible cuck who lays down for his bitch ex who left him for a black guy.

if he’s such a great guy, YOU SHOULDNT HAVE LEFT HIM, MUDSHARK SWINE. she left him because he was WEAK and SOFT AND because she didnt have a father to slap some sense into her saying, whats WRONG with you? this guy is perfect and a great husband and father! DONT LEAVE HIM!!! EVER!!!! ya dumb broad!!!!

Sad!

although its not the paxil/prozac/AD’s that do it, i take AD’s and I fully woke and Luv My RACE.

theres this meme that AD’s make you a sociopath, AD’s make you a cuck, i want to rebut that. I still have sympathy for other people and though i am kinda a cuck, i would NEVER do what this guy is doing, i would SHAME my shameful x for being a shameful MUDSHARK. Mudsharks REALLY trigger the FOOK out of me. that woman hahahaha. i cant believe she was technically a MUDSHARK. that should be enough to turn me OFF of her, but it just made shit MORE painful, harder to deal with, longer to get over. this is what happens when girls dont have fathers. Sad!

http://bbs.dailystormer.com/t/i-have-a-chance-to-influence-a-young-mudshark/92888

this guy describes a young mudshark from a decent family, good father, but is STILL an unrepentant mudshark. will be watching this thread for replies. maybe some will accuse him of being a joo planting a bullshit story thats too good to be true, NO decent hwyte gurl with a good father would EVER be a mudshark, ALL mudsharks are disgusting fat slobs. but i know this is not true. this is the real tragedy of mudsharkery, is watching a young girl BECOME a mudshark, to first cross over that line from good to ruined. Sad!

my theory is the father is a successful but swpl liberal middle class guy who is so nonracist that he doesnt care if his daughter fooks blacks, esp if they are not super thuggish. light skinned blacks who go to college and have no felonies.

i just cant understand whites who WOULDNT care about their DAUGHTER dating nonwhites. thats where the rubber meets the road. thats where people who don’t think they are racist discover that they are indeed a little bit racist.  and they dont mind it, beucase they’re not gonna cave on their daughter fooking nonwhites.

the SAD thing is, many hwytes WOULD cave on this, and would STILL be totally nonracist here. im so nonracists i REALLY DONT CARE about my daughter fooking nonwhites, and as proof, she’s already fooked 4 by age 22 and brought them home and they were all gud bois who dindu nuffin!

if the idea of your DAUGHTER fooking nonwhites doesnt make your SKIN CRAWL……i just dont know what to say to you.

i dont know about women. i WISH the idea of race mixing made THEIR skin crawl too…..but it just doesnt/ manage expectations. welp, turns out some MEN are just as cucked.  many MEN just dont care about race mixing either. sad! disgusting! unmanly!

again, i dont EXPECT women to know better. MEN, i DO.

so thats probably whats going on here, and shows you dont have to be white trash to be a mudshark slut.

really. honestly. i guess i’ll never understand these nonracists. you mean you JUST DONT CARE. have you NEVER got your heart broken by a woman and then that woman went on to fook blacks and browns and you didnt feel just a little bit angered by that? you REALLY dont care if your GF has been with nonwhites before you or after you? No they really dont. i guess i really cant reach these people. and i sure as fook can’t understand them.  WOW. JUST WOW. You really DONT care, do you. your gf has fooked blacks and you dont care. your daughter is fooking blacks and you dont care. WOW. you really dont care. well i guess you showed me! just how nonracist you are! feels good doesnt it!

i guess there are two types of peopel in the world, racist and nonracist, and never the twain shall meet. i am pretty happy being a racist. i mean i would rather be a racist than a nonracist!!!!!

and the dead giveaway is, do you CARE about your daughter, or your GF, fooking nonwhites. or yourself for that matter. do you really have NO PREFERENCE when it comes to the race of who you date.

some people SAY they have no preference but NEVER ACTUALLY date nonwhites. thats probably ok hahaha.

some people SAY they have no preference and MAINLY date whites….but occasionally date a nonwhite. not good. NOT EVEN ONCE. then what? did you learn something? did you develop a preference? i should hope so.

heh. i hope you never fall in LUV with someone who breaks your HEART AND does some mudsharking which ALSO breaks your heart too.

but the good thing is that it reduced my tolerance for race mixing degeneracy to absolutely zero.

i’m not even sure its inherently JOOISH, although it’s obvious why the joos exploit it. but it IS inherently degenerate in the most basic way. it’s just fooked up. entirely.

you dont have to be explicitly racist! just never fook a black! god damn! is that SO HARD??!?!?!?!??!!

you could even SAY you dont have any dating preferences! just don’t date a black! is that SO HARD?!?!?!?!?!?!

apparently, hahahahahahahaha.

i  have met maybe 2 black women that were attractive enough to bang, and i’m glad i didn’t hahahaha.

i’ve met many khazar jooesses who were attractive enough to bang. well, when i was young i did. but i didnt bang them. i probably would have if i had any idea how to talk to women. but i didnt. but i’m glad i only race mixed with jooesses only a TINY bit and not a LOT. better to be CELIBATE than to race mix.

https://heathenharvest.org/2016/01/02/outcast-by-choice-an-interview-with-mikko-aspa/

have not read this one yet hahahaha

http://archive.is/6Bmu7

not bad!

but he has to know nicole 12 is degenerate. his past “pornographic” work is degenerate. i think he’s stepped away from this, has done less of them as time goes on, and more of Positive stuff like Vapaudenristi, but i still want him to SAY IT, say that yes i am making a moral judgment here, molesting children is wrong and degenerate, there’s a gray area where girls start to become women and start to become attractive that is probably younger than the legal age of consent, but we should still not “sexualize” them, and in general all pornography is degenerate, and race is real, and nationalism is good. this is what i want him to say rather than mental masturbation about “anti-anthropocentrism” hahahaha. just keep going in the direction of Ethno nationalism, and in saying mean things about k1kes hahaha.

i mean there’s NO DEBATE to be had on nicole 12 buddy. it’s not about studying a conditioned reaction like a “drooling dog.” i dunno. i think he should have just wrote a book about it because i just dont understand what he was trying to say with it. that everything is conditioned? that you can be conditioned into thinking pre-pubescent children are SECSY???? it just seems kinda JOOISH to try to say there’s nuances where there are none. yeah i KNOW he’s coming from the whole power electronics aesthetic, which has the same issues of jooish degeneracy.

i dunno. i guess i just want him to be something he’s probably not, and im gonna be disappointed with him in a few years hahaha. or maybe not! i mean over the past 4 or 5 years, he’s been doing more of the good things and less of the bad things!

like he needs to go into more specific detail about this “dynamic nationalism” and how he does NOT want a return to the past. how dynamic are we talking here? does race matter or not? i know he appreciates honesty but he talks too much like a damn………jooish academic artist???? thats just mean of me to say hahahaha.

no i think he’s just smart and autistic and this is the way he talks, he doesnt MEAN to sound jooish. he’ll be allright if he keeps hanging out with racist skinheads talking real talk hahahaha. also if he met a decent woman and had some children. i dont think he MEANS to sound so confusing, he’s not doing that on PURPOSE like the joos do.

he’ll probably be all right. i just dont want him to slip back into degeneracy and then make some jooish excuse about it when i KNOW he’s smarter than that! i dont want him to pull some FEDORA shit.

at any rate, he’s not really alt right and prob wont ever be as much as i would like him to be.

but would he let his daughter race mix? would he say NONE OF MY BUSINESS if muh gf race mixed before? hehehe i really dont think he would. i hope he wouldnt.

also i like some of the anti-individualist stuff he says in the interview. that these individualists are even more Conformist than normie Sheeple. basically suggesting that Individualism is Atomizing. Well….inasmuch as you can “understand” ANYTHING this guys says. I think he’s on the level, but this is why I want to TALK to him and get straight answers to straight questions. Would you let your daughter race mix? does race mean anything to you? do you care if Finns are wiped off the face of the earth? what do you think about Da JQ? Tell me what you really think about Da J’s. It’s ok m8, I dont like them either. I hope you dont like them hahahaha. what the FOOK kind of “discussion” do you think could POSSIBLY be had about nicole 12? its ok to say you have matured since that and maybe wouldnt do that again and maybe weren’t making the best statement with. molesting 12 year old girls is ALWAYS wrong and only a JOO would try to equivocate on that and it’s ok to say that. only a joo would WANT to have a discussion about the nuances behind wanting to Abuse Children.

which is totally not the same as saying, hmm that 17 year old gurl looks fairly attractive, and I would sign up to marry her when she turns 18.

just set up an email list for news on vapaudenristi and make english trans of the lyrics available so we know what you are talking about.

but if you listen to the albums of an RAC band like No Remorse and DONT say, OMG, these deplorable reprehensible nazi racist bigots! and instead say, hay I LIKE this, then you are kinda making a statement right there, aren’t you. Like how I realized that you can’t be a VVN Sympathizer without actually being a full-blown VVN and just not realizing it yet.

anyway me talking about That Man is even less interesting than me talking about Women or That Woman hahahahaha. if you want to have straightforward conversations about 1433, then there are a couple places you can go. like daily stormer. who i fully support. as of march 2017 hahahahaha. if andre turns out to be a joo i will cry mantears of grief and then move on somehow hahahaha. i really dont think he is though. also dont think he would marry a jooess.

however i wonder if k1ke enoch has divorced his joowife yet hahahaha. i aint mad at him. the shit is complicated. its still not good to have a joowife tho. but he is entitled to having a personal life. but none of us should be race mixing. he’s smart enough to know this is a problem. also its naive to do big things and say “im not a leader”. you have become KIND of a leader whether you like it or not, when you do big leaderlike things……and openly ask for dnations. i dunno. i think he learned something from all this. if anything i am more butthurt about sven banning people wantonly from the forums for weak reasons. and i still really like the hihg svenergy vidyas.  and there are still plenty of people on DS that crap on TRS for being j00 luvers. i still like em both, but i just had to take a break from TRS for a few weeks. to allow myself to not be so emotional about it.

NO ONE IS SAYING ITS OKAY TO HAVE A JOOWIFE. some of us just arent willing to believe it makes TRS traitors and shills and spies and plants and feds and mossad and controlled opposition and JFK MKII ULTRA hahahaha. it was just a guy in joo york and joo jersey who married a half-jooess before he was j00 pilled. it can happen. its not the end of the world unless they have joo children. AND THEY DONT!!!!!!!

basically how hard is it for mikko to just talk about HWYTES. just say the word. hwytes. europeans. its ok. its not a bad word. you can do it. say it. luv it. be it. huhwhyte. its a beautiful thing, its ok to FOOKING LUV being huhwhyte.

shit ive been saying it 14330000000000000 times a day for years.  no need to never say it once in years!!!!!!!!!! now THATS a little weird!

good luck finding a woman who says she prefers to date hwytes. just be lucky to find one who’s never “dated” a nonwhite YET. keeping the race pure is YOUR job. either the woman feels some kind of racial preference deep down inside or she doesnt, which will make your job of protecting the race and finding a woman who hasnt dated a nonwhite yet a little bit easier, if she’s not actively inviting them in like the sluts at the castle anthrax with a purpa drank shaped beacon.

HAIL VICTORY! THIS TIME THE WORLD! 14 WORDS!

but yeah. i just think its weird that not more hwytes are as anti-race mixing as i am. they just DONT CARE. or, worse, they say it’s AOK! no problem! i wouldnt care if i had mixed race kids!

that just seems weird and disturbing and unnatural to me. why WOULDNT you care? i want to find a woman who, on some unconscious level at least, CARES about this! and hang out with other men who explicitly care about this! become part of a mannerbund!

GLR prohibited drunkenness at ANP meetings. I think hahahaha.

andrew zimmern is pretty jooey but i also think he’s a good guy and i wouldn’t be against not deporting him hahahaha. but what is he teaching his kids at home? is his wife a joo? ideally she would be a latinx or something. why should we sacrifice a hwyte woman to make zimmern less jooish.

what about natives. injuns. there are rural communities where many of the hwytes are 10% injun. man i dunno hahahahaha. i figure if you are 13% or less nonwhite, then welcome to club hwyte. the hwyte race.  thats basically one fully nonwhite great grandparent at max.

it would be ironic if some nonwhite young woman was really really really really nice to me, and fell in luv with me, and wanted to be LOYAL to me and have muh babies. i mean that’s nothing to sneeze at when a woman gives you that loyalty. but i want that from a HWYTE woman, not a nonwhyte woman. go give that to a man of your own race. so what if they are shitty. the women of MY race are shitty. but i’d rather have no woman than a good woman of another race.

because i might be tempted! I have NO doubt that there ARE good women of other races. and being in that situation would probably be TEMPTING. oh ive been so lonely for so long, how can  REJECT this WONDERFUL woman who LUVS me just because she is not hwyte? come on. best not to BE in that situation to begin with.

GLR’s “HWYTE POWER” might be the better book for the beginner to GLR to read. i am kinda getting bored with TTTW hehehehe 65% of the way through.

https://archive.org/details/WhitePower_189

READ IT. BELIEVE IT. LIVE IT.

from the first page, we can see that stuff in the US is HEAVILY jooed as far back as 1965.

ever since i was a young child, one of muh favorite movies was “the blues brothers”, which i have seen more times than i can remember. at first i was happy because it was one of the few R rated movies i was allowed to watch and had a few filthy f-bombs. overall it’s still a well written and constructed movie, stands the test of time, although does seem a little dated, but in a good way, shows the skills of john landis, who i’m not sure is J or hwyte, and of the players, not least of all the genuine comedy skills of albanian belushi and canadian ackroyd. also i believe john belushi was moreso a hwyte albanian than a turkish mud albanian. his brother jim looks basically hwyte while john was a bit more swarthy.

belushi was a drug doing degen like chris farley, but like farley, he was genuinely funny.

and yeah MY POINT and I DO have one, is I can look back now with new eyes and see the jooification of even this Quaint Old Movie. The blues brothers were antiracist from the beginning, hanging out with tons of blacks and IDOLIZING black musicians.

MY POINT is this was one of my first exposures to NEO NATZEEZ, with the Illinois Nazis in the movie with….John Daniels? John Glover? the Laugh In Guy, as their leader. Even from a young age I was impressed by the impressive speech he made: “white men, white men, the svastica is calling YOU. the Joo is using the Black as muscle against YOU. so what are you gonna do about it, whitey? just sit there and take it? no! you will join us, the national socialist hwyte people’s party.” which i recently learned was actually the original name of GLR’s ANP. and i am sure the character was based heavily on GLR hehehehe.

i didn’t understand why there was SUCH an angry crowd against the nazis. was what he was saying so bad? why did the blues brothers HATE the illinois nazis? then we see that the fuhrer’s second hand man has been secretly in gay luv with him. there is also a scene where we see him blatantly smoking a corncob pipe, which has got to be a reference to GLR.

also look at the country rednecks in the country bar and the way they and Country Bob and the Good Old Boys are portrayed as Uncool Rednecks.

It’s all still pretty funny and I can never CONDEMN the movie, and I will never not want to watch it while cuddling with a Nice Hwyte Hwaifu…..but I will be sure to HWYTESPLAIN the parts of the movie is not so nice to hwytes.

plus i generally like the black music too: blues, old time rock and roll, etc. the band is SOLID. and you can’t crap on a classic performer like ray charles. well other than to say he was probably a horrible person who was a heron addict and beat his wife and cheated on his wife and was prob a horrible father hahahaha. some good songs tho! and that makes it all ok!

so yeah, still a good movie, but it has a lot of questionable stuff in there that you dont notice when you are young.

no i dont think seeing it 60000000 times since a young age really HARMED me. it still give me good feels of nostalgia of being A Young Child. I just want the Notsees to be portrayed more sympathetically hahahahaha. more stuff about blacks and joos bad nooz hahahahaha.

mar 20

it is easy to survive the low stress workday thank god, but i hate not being a TOUGH as a WOMAN, to handle a stressful job 60 hours a week. im surpirsed MORE peopel dont abuse drugs and alcohol. well because they would probably LOSE THEIR JOBS if they did. you cant just half ass your job, because then you lose your job.

but i was so tired upon coming home i immediately laid down, watched law and order, and took a bit of a powernap. maybe it was because i took a benedryl last nite.

normal people cant take a powernap after their job. they have to drink gallons of coffee and 10 monster energy dranks to get thru their busy 10 hours a day, then come home and crash but you cant sleep because your mind is reeling from the busy day but you need to sleep but cant so you have to take some kind of drugs to slow you down. either sleeping pills or alcohol is a very popular choice hahaha. MJ would not hurt either haha.

and i went to bed at a decent hour and drank a lot of coffee while i was there!

i do a decent job and act pretty normie while i am there. but i hate that at the end of the day, i am still not as TOUGH as a 22 year old GURL. very emasculating. its GOOD to feel TOUGH. its BAD to feel WEAK and SOFT.

i was thinking of “erotic fiction” which is kinda pornographic but not AS degenerate because you arent using and destroying actual live gurls in order to produce it. other than maybe perverting the mind of the person writing (and of course reading) it.  but its not a machine that destroys heaps of young women. so yes i think it is less degen than actual porno. still not ok though. MIGHT be useful to wean off a porno addict. thats a big maybe though.

anyway i dont really care. im not tempted to look at porno. i AM tempted to do MJ all the time. just think about it all the time like a gurl thinking of her loverboi and the day he can get out of prison and they can finally be togther again.

damn have this god damn ice cream and ate too much of it. thankfully this is not a regular thing. it is caramel ice cream which i really like. ate too much of it. is this “emotional eating” because i was feeling weak and soft and pvssy and weak? eating too much ice cream certainly doesnt HELP those things! thankfully i dont often buy or eat ice cream. so its not like im gonna eat the whole container in 1 day then run out and buy another. fook no.

my good idea for the day was to get a thick black marker and draw a huge Hakenkreuz on your chest like the tat sported by weev or american history x. do this before you bang a broad. that way she can see the beliefs of the man who is drilling her, and it is bound to have an effect on them, subconsciously at the very least. looking down at the man pounding you and see the symbol of the ebil natzees. wow. maybe it would make the woman less likely to be a race traitor in the future. i cant see any downside to it. JUST DO IT. i would seriously luv to do this myself. chip away at her idea of herself as a nonracist. well if you were such a nonracist, then you wouldnt be loving getting fooked hard by a natzee with a svastica on his chest staring right at you!

well, i guess this could backfire and she could say, welp now i HAVE to run out and fook a negro ASAP to prove im not a natzee.

then she would have done that at some point ANYWAY, you’re just speeding up the inevitable and can NEXT her quicker and save more of your valuable time for a woman who is worth your time.

fooking DO this. draw a svastica on your chest with a black marker and bang the woman. make sure she is facing you hahahahahahaha.

tom brady goes to bed at 8:30 pm because he is serious about his sleep. not that i idolize a feetsball sportsball negroball j00ball player, but he seems like a healthy goy. so what time does he get up in the morning? dont know. probably about 5 am.  that is when i get up. alarm rings at 5 am, i sip coffee till 5:30 and watch the news, see how negros shot each other, get the weather and traffic. the time passes very quickly. at 530 i get out of bed, continue drinking coffee, take a shower, get ready.

yeah you should start with GLR’s hwyte power book. it is written in a very weaponized style, to shake you up, from the very first page, for the next…30 pages or so. it has not stopped shaking me on every page and i am on page 23 now. just comes out with all guns blazing. describes the problem explicitly: disgusting degeneracy. describes the SPIRITUAL SYPHILIS which afflicts hwyte youth and how religion wont work on them. he hasn’t talked so much about the JQ yet, but I am 1433000000000% sure he will soon.

it is easy to imagine him reading this in the form of a powerful passionate speech. you could go around reading passages to people like speeches.

https://archive.org/details/WhitePower_189

READ THIS LIFE CHANGING BOOK NOW, IT WILL TURN YOU INTO A WINNER.

i have never read something written in the 1960s that reads like it was written TODAY. RIGHT NOW.

HAIL GLR! HAIL VICTORY!!!!!

hehehe. that feel that if someone asks you who would you want to meet of anyone who lived in history and you can’t even tell them. you can’t say AH. you can’t say GLR. people don’t know who GLR is but you can’t explain who he was without making you look like a psycho for wanting to meet him. i guess you could LIE and say He was a Political Activist in the 1960s. He was anti-Communist like Joe McCarthy!

why the hell would you want to meet joe mccarthy?

lemme google this rockwell guy- american NATZEE PARTY??!?!?!?!?!?!?! he’s as bad as HITLER! he has a SVASTICA on his arm!!!!!!!!!

believe me. i took AP US history in high school and they never mentioned rockwell. i never heard of him until a few years ago.

yeah they mentioned mccarthy. but by that time i think i was getting tired of skool. i recall AP history involved a ton of reading and i barely remembered any of that stuff.

i was getting sick of school and homework and reading stuff that wasnt important to me; i was starting to get interested in MJ and alcohol; i didn’t realize the importance of history like this.

shit i took AP european history and obviously SHOULD have enjoyed it, reading an in depth history of hwyte people. I started out enjoying it but a few months into it, i was like this is too much reading. i dont remember any of this stuff. what does all this matter.  didnt understand how the history of the joos mattered, the turks and ottomans and muslims, common law and all that. shit i still dont hahahaha. it was a lot to bite off and hard for a 15 year old to put into perspective. maybe if you explained to me, these joos are the reason gurls today are such stupid sluts hahahaha. and then traced THAT back to communism. and kinda worked backwards from the present, stuff that mattered to me at the time. which admittedly most of it was stupid and degenerate.

nonetheless the average kid in my high school did JUST FINE in life, so i was/am just an OUTLIER. a BAD SEED. I would have been a WEIRD CASE ANYWHERE I went to school. but i feel that in the “right kind” of “radical” high school i might have done better. like homeschool, or artsy fartsy high school, or STEM high school, or Manufactuing Machining Shop High School. really, any one of them would have been a GAMBLE.

would I have been less Angry and Nihilistic if I had been successful with Gurls from a young age? yeah probably hahahaha tbh. but MOST boys ARENT successful with gurls when they are 16, and they have to watch all the gurls their being sluts with older scumbag guys.

i bet i would have liked reading GLR at age 16 just for the SHEER EDGINESS of reading a NAZI. i know I was interested in the evil natzis, hitler, the evil svastica, because i was interested in The Bad Guys. Anything Evil or bad. serial killers. varg vikernes killing guys and burning churches.

pretty ironic that varg turned out to be a really GOOD guy who I would be sticking with 20 years later, an similar thing with AH and the natzees – they weren’t REALLY the bad guys. so even though I’ve outgrown my edginess and interest in Bad Guys, I’m more interested in these Good Guys than ever before.

I probably would have found mein kampf to not be a fun read, but I bet I would have liked GLR. I have even worse ADD now and his writing is very to the point and not a problem for people with the attention span of a fly. like me.

a book like “hwyte power” could have HELPED me at age 16, but I didnt really read ANYTHING back then. i did all my reading for school, i did ENOUGH stupid READING.  i never developed a LOVE OF READING like ALL Smart and Successful people do. Sad!

READ THIS BOOK RIGHT NOW. BUY IT and read it over and over again. give it to all young men you know. buy cases of it and go to the nearest middle school and give it to all the white boys. maybe even the hwyte girls too.

mar 21

hwyte power. this shit is real. saw something on local tv news of an ALT RIGHT WHITE SUPREMACIST NEO NAZI flyer at a place, the police are trying to figure out who put these EVIL NAZI FLYERS up. the photo was very nonthreatening. it just talked about how white population percentage has gone way down and gave links to two very awesome websites and contained the words alt right.

but the way the media reports on it, they are clearly trying to frame it so that the FIRST THING ANYBODY THINKS OF when they hear the words alt right is “EVIL NATZEE.” alt right? whats that mean? oh. even racist natzis who want to oven jooz and lynch blacks and genocide nonwhites.

well are they wrong? hahahaha.

yes because we dont advocate violence or genocide. like GLR we are willing to pay BILLIONS of dollars to Send These People Back. wouldnt you pay TRILLIONS of dollars in taxes for a Nice Hwyte Country? Transport the people back to africa, asia, middle easy, and give them each fookin 100k USD to make a new life with. why the hell not.

i hope the police are not looking very hard for these ebil natzees. as GLR said, the local police are not our enemy. they probably sympathize with us. i should be trying to JOIN this local alt right group. but they would prob say nope youre too big of a loser to join us, we WILL take your money though.

YOURE NOT GOOD ENOUGH FOR US, BUT WE WILL TAKE YOUR MONEY hahahahaha.

the real problem is me wanting to give money to a group that wouldnt have me as a member. the real problem is me not being good enough to join the groups  want to be a member of!

i mean i have come to the acceptance that i am not high quality enough to represent The Movement, but I want to SUPPORT and HELP the movement, possib by giving money. yeah i guess it does suck to think, well, YOU are not good enough, but your damn MONEY is. thank me for my money and give me a roman salute at least hahahahaha. LET ME STUFF ENVELOPES AT LEAST hahahahahaha.

well we dont stuff envelopes any more. thats VVN 1.0. there will be no flat earth renegade radio flyers hahaha.

yeah small business cards leading to daily stormer or TRS, that’s fine.

i mean thats basically a hate crime goy. let’s try to find the hateful natzees who left these tiny cards with a website on them. literally.

maybe i will be ARRESTED if i wear muh DAILY STORMER t shirt in public hahahaha. what a THOUGHT CRIMINAL!!!!!!

NEW WEEV VIDYA

its a big deal when he posts a 10 minute video from his toilet hahaha.  did he really have to call out richard spencer as a trust fund baby in the description. i’ll allow it as long as it doesnt turn into a high investment thing, but i think spencer is tougher than weev thinks he is. weev is prob tougher than spencer is though. well, nothing probably about it. he almost certainly is.

weev also had a good recent interiew with cantwell

i know i watched it and linked it but should watch it and link it again

weev should do vidyas every DAY

and yes you should send him dnations I DO hahahahahahahahah

and yes he certainly does NEED them more than spencer

went to bed early yesterday but took like 90 minutes to fall asleep instead of usual 45 hehehe.

i guess weev has a GF nao. well good for him, im sure she’s hwyte. i just didnt think i would see him settle down with a woman bc he is an alpha male and has hsi choice of women. well maybe he has made his choice now! obviously he SHOULD choose a wife and start having children. shit a man of his stature needs SEVERAL wives producing children SIMULTANEOUS so that he can eventually have 100, 1000 children.

create a new human life ERRY DAY!!!!

i would prob be okay with dating a single mom where her kid was weev’s baby hahahahaha.

so hypothetically let’s say weev responded to one of my semi-bantzy comments with possibly some own bantz of his own, and then i bantzed him back saying, yeah im already donating to you hahahahahaha. well WEEV I am only giving you like 20 dollars a year, maybe  WEEV is saying he is too good for my money. or he’s calling me a joo for giving him an OFFENSIVELY SMALL donation. that would be hilarious if weev bitched about that just like fatherland jim did when i gave him a TEENY WEENY donation.

although i would prefer weev’s approval because I respect and admire him , hahahaha.

but yeah not much we can do if the people we want NOT to reject us, reject us. wouldnt be the first time, wont be the last time. it sucks though. but its not like weev can BAN me from watching his videos and listening to his stuff. he can make me feel like an idiot for donating to him, since NOBODY is Cucky enough to Donate to the hand that Bites Who Feeds It!!!!

so i would just donate more to the daily stormer until something happened where they complained about me donating, hahaha.

oh well.at least i am putting myself out there, making moves, learning things. well, at least doing things. saying, i least i tried with so and so, and then they rejected me, the end.

im still scared to go back and see how people responded to my daily stormer post. still scared to see how george responded to my questions in his q&a vidyas. i have new evidence that he is a 1433 bad goy and i couldnt be happier. this is a great way to be, but i wont blow his cover. ideally i would like him to Come Out, but that’s his right to do that when he wants.

i just dont want people i admire to scorn and reject me hahaha. i want to be part of their club. but im not cool enough. im not tough enough. im not hardcore enough. i dont give enough money. im not interesting enough. i dont work hard enough etc etc etc always SOMETHING. FOOK it. FOOK it. no good deed goes unpunished.

i dont care, everyone i like can reject me, its not gonna kill me. i can always find another pro white thing to donate to. hey i can always give money to stormfront hahahaha. or vnn. or counter currents hahahaha. dr greg is nice enough to write me a THANK YOU NOTE for a tiny donation! HA!

bbbbut these are all old men in version 1.0 who are lonely and bitter and dont have wives or children because they were born too early! they were born during the dark ages when you were Too Weird To Mate if you advocated for hwytes.

Well I too lost my YOUTH to the joos. now all i can do is secretly donate tiny amounts of money to people who dont want it hahahahaha. and sm0ke weeeeeeed secretly. never be tough enough for a 28k a year job, or hwyte wife or children. damn. so what the hell do i look forward to? the fact that my RACE, with miniscule and unwatned help from ME, is finally turning the tide. that the sleeping goy finally woke up.

i am jumping to conclusions, nobody has said stop donating to me, weev hasn’t rejected me, he was just having ONE playful BANTZ, this is what men do many times a day. i wouldnt last a DAY in australia!!!! and probably they do this in russia and ukraine too, where weev is now. call each other cyka blyat all day. its a TERM OF ENDEARMENT!

i always forget this. i cant handle the bantz with real MEN!

i guess i can, it just takes longer and i have less tolerance for it hahaha.

i guess the MMPI is the most scientific personality test. it has 560 questions and measures 50 diff things, none of them good.

ok. chill out. take it easy. just say NO to negative thoughts. NO. STAHPPPP.  I will conquer negative thoughts and turn them OFF. I will be aware and Mindfull of the current year. I am watching “double indemnity” on tcm and  i hear this is a good movie, i should pay attention to it. i am playing .02/.04 poker when i usu like to play .01/.02.  i am charging mp3 player and have a new episode of fatherland on it which just came out today.

double indemnity. insurance scam. were insurance companies as jooish scams in 1938 as they are now? the idea is that they minimize risk for people so that entrepreneurs can take risks, start businesses, create jobs, make money, GDP Growth. not sure it happens this way. not sure gdp growth is an always good thing. who cares if you create jobs if they are part time walmart type jobs? or the jobs are so stressful you cant even handle them and snap like private pyle going postal? how does that improve your quality of life? because you’re not homeless on the streets sucking dick for a place to sleep indoors, or clean clothes, or a meal.

billy wilder was a joo, i do know that much, and “some like it hot” was pretty degen and jooish. and the stars of double indemnity are bad immoral and jooish, trying to get away with murder. but supposedly a classic movie. it seems pretty watchable. better with a waifu to cuddle of course hahahaha.

 

IRON MAIDEN EVERY DAY KEEPS THE DOCTOR AWAY

feb 22

milo resigning. i think i already mentioned this. as trs says, we didnt realize the MSM lugenpresse thought pedophilia was a bad thing hahahaha. i guess they hate rightists even MORE than they LUV joos and degeneracy! wow!

taing benedryl today, did not sleep well last night unfort. today got a new project, well, technically was reminded of an old project that i forgot about. basically i need to “Create Some Documentation” for this device that I dont know how to use, so I have to figure out how to use it, write up some FAQs and How Tos and Fact Sheet and a report or something. produce our own documentation on how to use this thing. i can def source heavily from the manufacturer. big part of it is also teaching myself how to use android and ios, which is hilarious that ive never owned a smart phone,. basically every random normie 80 IQ is an expert at android OR ios because every normie has a phone! i do not have a smart phone so all this is news to me.

i dont see the value in the device. i think its too expensive and no one uses it because no one knows how. well….other people in our office do, but we gotta essentially try to SELL IT to our “clients”, and i use these terms very loosely. i dont REALLY need to SELL this overpriced thing. weve already wasted the money on it. now we just gotta convince people to use it. which imho is tricky enough. and imho there is easier, cheaper ways of doing a similar thing. real weird position to have a budget to by Tech Toys no one really NEEDS and then convince them to get Value out of it hahaha. and i cant really tell muh manager yeah no ones gonna use this, just cancel our subscription when this year is up because its a waste of money. but i should try to find some Usage Stats and include that in my Report. be like hey this thing is being used once a year and its costing us 200 dollars a year.

basically just busywork makework, not really adding value. real adding value would be never buying the thing in the first place!

its just WEIRD to be in this position, never expected to be in a place that was this FLUSH with CASH to spend on shit you dont really need, rather than trying to CUT COSTS EVERYWHERE and sending people home early and doing away with Quality.  but thankfully The Union wont let them send people home early, guarantees people X number of hours a week.

i am still learning the basics, like how our department adds any value at all. why are we NEEDED. just fire everyone and we could still get out a low quality product. does quality really matter THAT much? was the bad lesson i learned from my prevous job.

and the answer obviously is, YES IT DOES, when your product means fixing broken shit, and you don’t fix it.

but here we’re not really fixing shit. we are basically window dressing on a product that could get by without us. it would be a lot less presentable, but it would prob still SELL, and would still WORK. its like buying a kia vs a cadillac. do our Customers really need Cadillacs? well they arent really paying cadillac prices though. so where the hell do we get this money? other departments get federal grants. we could very possibly get fed grants but i cant name them. always forget to ask about that. i should ask about it. show the manager that i care how shit is run hahahaha. not that i want to take his job, not that I COULD, but to show I Think Like A Leader.

ok did some more at-home work on muh job project. going to bed at 8 instead of 7 because 7 was too early yesterday. took 2 benedryls tho today: one at 3ish, another at 5ish.

George is up to video FIVE on his 20 minute q and a responses. he’s HAD to have answered my questions in there, mentioned me. I am SCARED to listen. I might give it a few more weeks till I am less scared. he can email me if he wants, he has muh topkek topsecret email.

GOOD GOD I got an email from GREG JOHNSON hahahahaha personally thanking me for a donation I gave in december. Actually TWO emails ten days apart. WTF do I even say to that. I quickly send him a blabbering message back saying no, thank YOU, hahaha. I was just surprised that he’d send me an email for a damn paltry 5 dollar donation! What a Top Goy!!!!

Greg Johnson. Grindr Greggy, sending ME an email, hahaha, thats just ridiculous. I dont even care if hes a gay hahahahaha. guy’s done some great, unimpeachable work, and he was one of the first people I read when getting into This Huhwyte thing.

feb 23

greg johnson. say what you will about his private life, but that was a very HUHWHYTE thing of him to do, thank widdle ol neet me for a goddam 5 dollar dnation. just for that I will visit CC for the first time in months, find a great new interview hes doing with kievsky, one of muh oldskool fav guys, and think seriously about getting gregs nice hwyte country book. he is a great writer in addition to a good speaker/conversationalist.

real good guy greg hahahaha. does anybody even remember that meme. its still a good meme.

steve bannon speaking at cpac. nice. i would like to hear alot more of bannon speaking. not because i’m suspicious of him, but i think i would really like him even more than i expected. but shit, if he is suspicious, id want to know about that too. i just hope he is a YUGE badass, and unfort we often forget he’s there. never forget!

HAVE YOU LISTENED TO YOUR DAILY DOSE OF IRON MAIDEN TODAY?

I was not joking when I said IRON MAIDEN EVERY DAY KEEPS THE DOCTOR AWAY. it IMPROVES YOUR HEALTH.

This was actually the second Maiden album I ever got, after “Powerslave.” I saw Killers in the used CD section and got it. Not sure if I realized Dianno was on it. at any rate, he sounds GREAT. it’s pointless to compare him and bruce. both are great. ok, bruce is better, but i don’t think bruce would have fit on this album, and I think dianno could have have a good effort on later maiden. he has a great, masculine voice, brings out the masculine energy of the music very well. more of a tough guy than bruce. i mean i hate to say he’s MORE masculine because bruce is pretty damn masculine.

havent listened enough to the debut but killers seems to be the way stronger dianno album.

and it more than accomplishes the Health Benefits of Maiden: ie, Upping Your Confidence. UP THE IRONS, UP YOUR CONFIDENCE. high-energy, feel-good, masculine, confident, pulse-pounding music that makes you feel very alive. hard rocking. no mopey navel gazing. no negative emotions. good vibes all around.

not that i dislike sad music at all! but i prob enjoy too MUCH of it, and need more Happy Music! and so do you!

there is NOTHING wrong with Dianno era maiden. would be great at the GYM for POWERLIFTING and POWER SPRINTS.

now i’m obsessing about this darn job-related documentation project. in a good way, I think. but yeah def spending a lot of TIME on it, outside of job, no less. people better be impressed hahahahaha. write me a good reference for this one. i dont feel super pressured, feel more like a detective on the verge of cracking the case. in other words, feel good not bad, thank GOD. ACTUALLY LEARNING something and figuring something out. It takes some struggling with the concepts though. But this is NORMAL. But I tell you, I REALLLLLLY hate struggling with something and NOT learning it, and remaining in a state of confusion. that was the bulk of my last job. it made me doubt my ability to LEARN things. i felt like I had a LEARNING DISABILITY. And thought shit, maybe I still DO have a learning disablity. from sm0king all that MJ, and drinking too much when I was young, and also from having a super confusing job for over a year, combined with a year and a half of mind-numbing NEETness. It’s amazing my brain still works AT ALL and that I could learn something as simple as 1+1. But today I learned something. Not something super complicated. pretty embarrassing i had to struggle for a whole day with such a simple concept. WELP THAT JUST PROVES IM AN IDIOT. Thankfully I don’t really feel that way. Well if they think I’m an idiot…..I mean I was name dropping Bunuel today in reference to Dali, and I actually knew this architect this other guy was talking about. if were a total idiot I wouldnt know these names hahahahahahaha. It might just take me a day to learn a very simple technical concept, like you don’t plug this thing into that thing, it won’t work correctly. And I wanted to work with TECHNOLOGY????!!?!?!?!?!?!!? I was actually pretty good at it though. but the LEARNING CURVE was absolutely BRUTAL and VERY hard to SURVIVE.

i cant overstate how bad that year and a half of neetness was for my brain. i mean i HATE FEELING LIKE AN IDIOT. I USED to be pretty smart, I SWEAR. PLEASE BELIEVE ME!!!!!

feb 24

please respond! please believe me! please give me the benefit of the doubt! please treat me like a human being! please! I beg you! im not an idiot and im not a weird monster!

hahahaha. ok weekend. obv would luv huge thing of you know what. degenerate. bbbbbut i just want to get it out of muh system. give me one big bag o degen and thats it for a good while.

so in protest i have taken a benedryl, will take 2 valium  and 1 more benedryl with about 2 hours in between each.

ooooh sventh son has done his first post doxing video with face. very nice. would like to see moar. tons of great banter in the comments about him not being hwyte hahahaha. he is even more charming when he shows his face hahaha.

heh. tfw you go to dailystormer for the first time in a few weeks and see he has an official tshirt so you have to buy it now. it’s not the greatest design but these campaigns are limited time only. hope he doesnt come out with a better design immediately after this one closes.

oh dear god hahahahahahahaha. his first video AFAIK directly addressing MGTOW. is MGTOW even a thing any more? kind of embarrassing that I identified with it….like FOUR YEARS AGO hahahaha. to be MGTOW in current year is simple naive at best and J at worst.  see the mgtows bitching at varg in the comments, you can see how pathetic mgtow is.

took valium 1 at 630 pm. settling in with coffee and water and no one at the poker tables, damn. listened to abunch of yt vidyas at 1.5 and 2x speed. george feels you can do at 2x hahaha. hey im not hating. im a very slow talker to, i sound a lot better at 1.5 at LEAST.  wish i could do that in real life. might make me sound like less of a tongue tied idiot. only when im in interviews do i talk fast. still sound like a tongue tied idiot though.

oh god. came so close. i actually watched matress girl emma sulky’s retarded “raep” video for a few minutes today, i mean i had seen it when she first did it. she is not even attractive, but i would prob still bone her because she is an early 20s and non obese. and i get really titillated by scenes where the girl is on top and grinding her ass into the guy as he fooks her. great visual. i would really have fun with something like that. thank GOD i turned it off before i got too stimulated. i mean really? chinese joo mattress girl doing fake art that is closer to porn than art? however i almost wanted to jerk off to it to condemn her for being such a dirty disgusting dishonorable joo making a perversion of secs. it honestly cant be called “porn”, but it absoultely CAN be called mind-bogglinging jooish. layers and layers of jooish inception. thank GOD i did not jerk off to it, because then SHE would have won with her jooish filth. that isn’t TECHNICALLY porn, its more of a jooish perversion of Art and Aesthetics and Truth. not that porn isnt a jooish perversion.  but my god her artists statement on that video. read that fookin statement. dont watch any of the video unless you promise not to jerk off to it. cuz then the joo and their lies WIN, and you LOSE.

maybe i wanted an excuse to jerk off to something that wasnt “technical” porn.

wow. ALMOST slid down the slippery slope there. kinda disappointed i even took a step down that path, but glad i turned back. i mean it would be better to just jerk off to pictures of aryan women in wheatfields hahahaha. i mean i just feel kinda HORNY for ONCE, probably partially due to Weekend Party Time.

the title song is so good and i want seventh son to do a version of it. i would totally do it at karaoke. might have to do karaoke tomorrow. im thinking iron maiden, dio, danzig, maybe tom petty.

is steve miller a poor mans tom petty? is that unfair to steve miller? maybe he is a middle class mans tom petty hahahaha.

oooh nice been having a hot streak today:

2017-02-24-20_04_36-carom-0-01_0-02-no-limit-holdem-replay-14812328

well played but he culd have beat me. on one of my long cold streaks, he would have. and i have been cold a lot more than ive been warm! im 100 dollars in the hole all time!

https://smerffelectrical.com/smerff

this is what we need a LOT more of. this is a real guy named smerff in straya who is an electrician with his own electrician business. and on his business website he blatant says pro-white things and says he is a proud sponsor of daily stormer, who also proudly links him on their site. fookin awesome. we need stormer/white-supporting BUSINESSES in EVERY town.

his twitter account has been suspended. smerff. stormer’s was banned years ago haha.

i mean this guy makes no bones about his vehement pro-whyteness on his website, his facebook page, surprised that’s not banned.

check out the site. he employs at least seven proud white men and has classic aussie banter. does not tone anything down to try to increase his business. he obvious does well and STILL has STRONGLY pro-whyte message. amazing. terrific! this is awesome and we need companies like this in every town in the US, straya, the hwyte world.

see their contact information and tell them how awesome they are. send them money for doing no work. in a way this is even better than great journalism like stormer or TRS. they are out in the community providing hugely valuable electrician and AC service ANNNDDDDDD spreading a very positive pro-whyte message to their customers. i cant even wrap my mind around this, i have to sleep on it hahahaha.

daily stormer tshirt hehehe. apparently the company isnt actually alt right or pro white, but SO pro freedom of speech they will print pro white shirts as well as awful BLM and pro-abortion shirts. hmm. i was hoping it wouldnt be like that. i dont want to support baby murderers. but it is pretty good for a FREEZE PEACH advocate to actually not be a lying hypocrite when it comes to pro hwyte stuff. most freeze peach joos are anti freeze peach when it comes to HWYTES.

welp hope he doesnt sell my name and address hahahahaha. i mean it would never stand up in court hahaha unless he were subpoenaed for my name hahaha. which isnt gonna happen. what am i a lawyer all of a sudden?

i mean the chances of me not getting a job because somebody spilled the beans about me on an internet site that i bought a daily stormer (and trs) shirt……i dunno i just dont see it happening.

took valium 2 around 9pm

i sometimes have post titles that have nothing to do with the content, just saved from perhaps long before. did this with about 3 posts recently. 80% of posts I try to have somewhat relevant titles hahahaha.

the hacker wars, been meaning to watch this. large part from weev, dont think he talks about hwyte stuff tho. but hes def thinking it hahaha. he’s just a really interesting smart guy.

https://directory.libsyn.com/episode/index/show/illusionofsanity/id/4710977

weev on illusion of sanity 2016, alawites. a harder to find interview hehehe. have to use a libsyn downloaded to download it.

trying to find and follow all the pro-hwyte hwytes on gab hehehe. did my first repost today re the daily stormer shirt

yeah the two valiums dont do much but i guess its nicer than the alternative hahaha. the alternative being absolutely nothing. a bag of MJ would be so much better tho. but kind of scary to think that MJ is 600000000000 times more power than VALIUM, which is well known as a habit forming, addictive drug that can K you in super large doses. well im clearly not taking enough! should I take a third? but its already almost 11pm and i am getting tired and it would just be a waste. if i had MJ i would certainly be blazing it all day until the moment i crashed into oblivion.

yeah but at this time in the short term, isnt the valium in infinitely greater supply than the MJ? meaning, i have 80 valiums and 0 MJ.

heh. listening to NOTHING but iron maiden the past week. been pretty productive there.  whoops havent listened to the early 90s albums. ok putting on “no prayer for the dying”, which came right after 7th son. people crap on this album but it doesnt sound immediately horrible hahaha.

hmm well i made executive decsion and took valium #3 at 11pm just now. maybe it will be a waste, but i do have a lot. once i get down to like 10 then i will save them for “emergencies only”, for example, going out to a social function, or god forbid a “date”, or a job interview, or maybe a big Job Presentation. don’t think I will have to do any serious presentations for a while tho. if ever. i mean it would be a good thing to have that kind of responsibility and actually do an average job on it. good for resume, good for future interviews.

heh. started playing around with zillow to see where i you could get a “cheap”, small home in a somewhat hwyte boondocky area. basically get a trailer. white pride single wide (credit fatherland jim.) get good deals here but wonder about the white trash in close proximity. i believe that hwyte trash is better than black trash, although the Opioid and Meth Epidemics are making the hwyte trash even worse. why dont they have trailers that are on like an acre of land and dont have other trailers 10 feet away. but then you would basically be paying as much for the land as you are the trailer. trying to understand mortgages, 30 year fixed rate, 5/1 ARMs, etc. they should teach this in middle school or first year of high school. no later than age 14.

1 am here. should go to bed. been up since 5 am. meaning i have been awake for 20 hours. pretty serious. might take a benedryl just to be ultra idiotic. a pill popping machine on friday party night. 3 valiums and 2 benedryls. that can’t be good. but you could make an argument that its better than MJ! or is it? i mean im not so incoherent i cant type or look at zillow for 45 minutes hahaha.

i might actually be a good Real Estate guy. cuz i am very interested in finding decent homes at a good price and especially in good, safe, hwyte neighborhoods. but i would want to be honest and not bamboozle people into jooish mortgages. cuz it honestly is confusing. predatory lending. and i cant figure out what is the best deal. 30 year fixed is higher payment but supposedly more stable over the long term. so you pay extra for “piece of mind.” i kinda like that. but i certainly wouldnt want to live in the trailer for 30 years. 5/1 is built for people who want to move within 5 years. uhhh do they have a 10/1? i might like that better hehehehe.

ideally you just buy the house outright with cash. show up with 20 grand cash and buy the 20 grand house. but there is also homeowners insurance and property taxes. why cant they just include this in the price of the house. why cant they teach this stuff in high school instead of fookin english and spanish and diversity social studies and more bullshit sciences like geography. teach you stuff that will actually help you live a better life. how to be smart when buying a home, getting the most bang for your buck. you can always study the stuff that interests you from the comfort of your nice little home that you are not getting jooed on. of course, why would the joos want to teach the goys how NOT to be jooed.

 

 

SUCCESS = (WEALTH^TOUGHNESS)+EDUCATION

feb 11

w000000t finally lost 40 pounds since i started using myfitnesspal in january 2016. honestly thats a pretty big deal. for a very short man who was not extremely overweight to begin with. if i can do it, anyone can. i mean i cant even function in life, but i can lose a ton of weight.

had to do some more errands today, saturday. got them done before 12 pm. yesterday took total of 1 valium and 2 benedryl and was kinda hoping to sleep until like 12pm at least, but still woke up at 930 am, but very groggy, but strangely couldnt get back to sleep. so got up in the groggy state. went and did errands.

now the next big goal of the day is to go to the FATCLUB for an HOUR at about 330 or 4. use treadmill for 1 hour. burn about 420 cals hehehe.

also got a 5 dollar faded glory shirt at walmart. it looks pretty good, way better than 5 dollars hahahahaha. was worried about walmart on a saturday, but it was somewhat eaerly in the day, and it was kinda busy, and full of blacks and arabs hahahahaha, but still not unbearable, and no waiting at the self-scan.

i am also very nice to the blacks and arabs that WORK there because i know they have the worst jobs next to being coal miners. but i have no mercy for the blacks and arabs who shop there hahahaha esp if they are being obnoxious. how can you be obnoxious when you are simply shopping at the store. dont ask me, ask them, they manage to pull it off. i just get in and get out. very tactical. everything is tactical with me hahahaha.

i would much rather do MJ than go to a damn bar or club to try to meet slutty women. or even just meet new people in general hahahaha. now that second part is a Problem. i should want to meet possibly decent people MORE than i want to do MJ. but meeting new people is inherently stressful and not fun for us anxious types. to make normal nonawkward conversation with strangers is very very difficult and counterproductive. you just end up looking like an unlikable weirdo. of COURSE sitting at home, doing tons of MJ, and listening to music and playing cards is preferable to that.

http://mpcdot.com/forums/topic/9413-betsy-devos-hitler-in-female-form/page__st__80#entry329805

new mpc thread on betsy devos and education and strivers and kollige hehehehe and the shitty striver managerial class

of course muh swpl colleagues are horrified by devos because shes been picked by the orange cheeto misogynist racist trumpanzee, and “school choice” is just a “dogwhistle” for keeping black kids out of your white schools. give school choice to the hwyte racist kids and give no choice to the poor blacks, keeping them trapped in a cycle of Generational, Institutional Poverty and Powerlessness.

https://www.city-journal.org/html/no-thug-left-behind-14951.html

article referenced in same good thread. (CJ is a decent right wing journal where halfway decent joo (((theodore dalrymple))) did/does a lot of writing) gangs of black thugs roaming the halls of suburban schools for free lunch and internet, and starting huge 50 person melee brawls, while diversity consultants are brought in to train everyone from bus drivers on up as to why diversity is awesome and that you as a hwyte have tons of built in prejudice and privilege.

good news is i went to the fatclub, on hamster wheel for 65 minutes. bad news is now i feel very Gassy and it is rather uncomfortable and cant seem to expel it effectively. still the pros outweigh the cons hahahaha.

well it is gradually coming out thank GOD hahaha.

completely unrelated but a great video from the great weev on why anime and japs are not honorary 4ry4ns. i myself would extend this sentiment to beta phaggots who think asian women are better than “western” women. and i am sure weev would agree. weev is one of muh favorite people and favorite Thinkers. i would luv to meet weev one day but i would settle for a conversation with him which i would of course want to record and share with the world. also nice shot against albanians too hahahahahaha.

YEAH the message is always more important than the messenger…..but the messenger is important TOO. and weev is a very important, very valuable and awesome messenger, and yeah i have some hero worship and fandom for him.

so i will continue to donate to weev and have trust and faith in him. if he had a joo wife…..i think he would be forthcoming about it. i dont think he would ever have a joo wife. he’s probably fooked joo sluts, but thats fine. he’s NOT gonna fall in luv or get married to a joo, he has a god damn huge NOT WELCOME tattoo on his chest!

and theres so many people who claim he IS a joo and or a plant or spy or fed. i mean i guess its possible. i would be very disappointed if that were the case hehehe.

yeah gambling is degenerate but i had a good hand here:

2017-02-11-19_09_15-cardamom-0-02_0-04-no-limit-holdem-replay-14623748

he could have easily beat me with an A. i knew this all too well, it’s happened many times before. but he’s also going nearly all in preflop with AQ unsuited. and here i was worried he had AA hahaha. and thank GOD he didnt get an A in the cards.

heh. i am gonna start listening to all podcasts etc at 1.25 speed hehehehe. really saves time hehehe.

watching 90s SNL, and really bringing back the nostalgia here. when i was a young 12 year old or so and actually watched SNL and thought it was so edgy and funny. well to be fair, when i first discovered SNL, it was mid 90s classic cast: mike myers, dana carvey, phil hartman, adam sandler, chris farley, all those guys. dennis miller, jon lovitz, julia sweeney, kevin nealon, the horrible joo al franken as the fun character stuart smalley. he belongs in the oven but that was a great character. even though he was prob mocking goys. i still like stuart as a character. totally relate.

now the 90s were a terrible nihilistic time…….but so are the 10’s hahahahaha. things seemed nicer and more innocent watching this. i guess it really wasnt. but SNL wasnt as shitty and horrible as it is now.

feb 12

track/tier education sounds good, but wasnt i already a product of that? i was sorted into the top tier, and lets just assume low, medium, and high for simplicity here. i was sorted into the high based on muh high performance in high school, and, tbh, middle school.

but then you can very legitly divide that top tier into 3 tiers. based on where you’re from. flyover middle america trump voting hwytes, lower middle class, working class, even the high achieving kids aren’t gonna get into that top tenth of harvard, ivy league, top univs, top careers in NYC or DC.

HOWEVER, you can still go to State College and become VERY successful in your flyover city as an engineer, accountant, top manager, maybe medical, maybe lawyer.

in other words i think i went to TOO elite of a uni, which gave me a peek into the world of an elite i didnt even know existed. east coast people who want to go to grad school at harvard, in other words. people who work at high, visible levels and get their names in big media outlets. i have seen muh old uni classmates names in the joo york times, i regularly see this one guys name because he is a Full Time Journalist with a pretty big east coast shitlib magazine and writes anti-trump and antihwyte editorials every day. of COURSHE he is a J and I never really knew him, but he was an acquaintance of a friend. I probably saw him at a party.

I wouldnt get this at a less elite uni, wouldnt get this peek, and sometimes i wish i hadnt gotten that peek, and lived in a simpler world, surrounded by people who just wanted to get normie middle class jobs in flyover city, not peopel who wanted to Shape National Discourse in NY and DC.  it was thoroughly confusing and disorienting for a basic hwyte flyover boy in lower middle class who vaguely wanted to strive his way into the regular middle class.

for me i think it would have been better to be a big fish in a small pond, in other words. would have boosted muh confidence which would ahve boosted my performance, when it really mattered.

in other words, gone to a uni which was more like my high school.

there was a great idea in that MPC education thread (srsly read the whole thing) where education Professionals believe  that attainment = home life + education. but that is naive, and its really like attainment = home * education. and home life can be broken down further into (emotional stability) * (parental investment/competence.)

and some would further argue that its (emotional stability)^(parental investment). or maybe the other way around hahahaha. point is, exponential rather than straight multiplication.

of course thats where my ears perk up. because i had GREAT parental support, great upbringing, great family, BUT I was highly emotionally unstable. emo unstable, AND great family, AND great education, and I still turned out a HUGE failure, moreso than people from worse families, who went to worse schools.

so in my mind, personal emo stability, aka normieness, aka the opposite of neet loser neuroticism, is THE single most important thing. so does that mean its the base number or the exponent in an exponential number hahahaha. like 2^60000000000, or 6000000000^2.  i think the former would be bigger. i think hahahaha. YEP its the exponent is much more significant. just compare 2^100 vs 100^2. no question about it.

moral of the story: i should have started going to a shrink when i was like 12 or 13. not 18 (which i didnt, but that would have been a better time), and not….25 or so when i actually did. by then too much fookin damage had already been done, when you should be establishing the course of your life.

so i might never have a wife and children, but i damn sure want to help other hwytes secure the existence of THEIR children.

i want ALL kids to succeed. black kids, white kids, arab kids, brown kids. i am a total white knight for KIDS. they are innocent.

but i ESPECIALLY want HWYTE kids to succeed, and it ESPECIALLY triggers me when they DONT succeed, and those are the people I want to help.

” well whites have white privilege so if they cant succeed despite that, thats definitely on them, they have to be irredeemably fooked up, they are BEYOND help, besides, you shouldnt want to help them, you should WANT to end white privilege and help create EQUALITY for ALL kids. either push whites down, and or bring nonwhite kids UP. ”

is the mentality of EVERYONE in education. well, 99% hehehe.

in that city journal article, there was a great comment, if you can’t do, teach. (i knew that one for years.) if you can’t teach, ADMINISTRATE. i LOL’ed IRL at that one. esp since i recently had a thought that maybe i should think about getting a masters degree in education administration hahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha.

hey shit maybe i would be perfect, because i cant do AND i cant teach hahahaha.

well i think i sorta COULD teach, but i dont want to be in these marxist environments. which would be even worse at the admin level, because your job is to CREATE these marxist environments!!!!!!! fook that!!!!!!

but yeah charter schools. devos. school choice. i wanted to get more informed on all this. because all the cool kids hate devos, hate school choice, hate vouchers, hate charters, because all this is “RACIST.”

so i expected MPC to be all about vouchers and charters but they kind of arent. they are more about getting rid of the DOE altogether and getting rid of things that make schools nonwhite. and establishing a better track/tier system in the schools. uhhhh cant say i disagree with these things either!

someone made the interesting claim that the biggest fans of vouchers are “talented tenth” blacks who have the agency to strive for better and move out of the hood, and also…. lower class whites who want to strive for something better, and they cant afford to live in neighborhoods with hwyte schools, and they cant afford the best private schools, and they sure as hell dont want to put their kids in their local nonwhite infested public schools.

really i think homeschooling is a great solution, and i think MPC would agree with me here…..but its VERY hard for working class people to do this, to survive without the dual income! to have the mother stay home and homeschool the kids!

hehehe also note how shitlibs think homeschooling is the worst thing ever, and is just a DOGWHISTLE for racist fundamentalist christian hwyte parents to BRAINWASH their kids and turn them into little hateful bigots just like them.

watching “driving miss daisy” in the background, seems like a decent movie (i saw it many years ago) but I had no idea that they were JOOISH! ie, miss daisy and dan aykroyd are JOOISH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! going to TEMPLE!!!!

i had no idea! i just figured they were supposed to be White Racist Plutocrat Superrich in the prime of ill-gotten Hwyte Privilege from the LEgacy of Slavery in the South. this totally adds an element to the story i was NOT prepared for, PLUS its COMPLETELY unbelievable to even THINK of jessica tandy and dan aykroyd as JOOS, because they are CLEARLY NOT.

i dont even know whos jooing who anymore hahahahaha.

damn i dont remember this movie at ALL. like the jooish aspect is pretty in your face, not a minor thing.

also she is a TEACHER who thinks she is smarter than everyone. INTERESTING. ok what did her husband do to make them so filthy rich. theres a factory there, maybe a clothing or a peach factory hahahaha. lets find out

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Driving_Miss_Daisy

damn this is inconclusive. doesnt say what the husband did to make them so god damn top 1% rich. implies that miss daisy doesnt understand she is a Persecuted Oppressed Minority Victim until the temple is bombed during the Civil Rights movement, probably by KKK terrists hahahaha. i would think that joos have this identity of themselves being jooish from a very young age. i mean the film starts in the 50s but people were already aware of MUH SHOAH by that time.

le sigh. whats better. a movie showing joos act like racist hwyte assholes, or a movie showing hwytes act like racist hwyte assholes.

so whats the point? they act hwyte but ebil hwyte racists dont think they are hwyte???? but really joos are basically hwyte? except when they want to be nonwhite??????

obviously touches on a few of my fav themes. hehehe. i should be watching it with great attention, but dont really want to. would rather be ranting on muh blog.

ok, but there are plenty of upper class (many jooish) kids who are BATSHIT INSANE, borderline and bipolar, and they still become successful, complete graduate degrees at top schools. or at the very least, get ok jobs through their families connections. or go to vacationlike inpatient programs is more like it hahahahaha.

like what about rich kids that get totally fooked up on DRUGS, so fooked up they can’t complete a masters degree hahahaha.

in other words, i am as fooked up as the most fooked up jooish rich kid, and they can still become successful because of their rich background. my background was pretty damn good, prob above average, but it certainly wasnt Rich Upper Class!!!!!!! but it was still Pretty Damn Good!!!!!! but we DEF didn’t have a lot of Family Connections that could get me a 28k job somewhere for the Fooked Up Black Sheep Son who was too mental and neurotic and lazy to handle Grad School hahahahahaha.

so really maybe its success = (normieness^Wealth)*(education)

in other words, my fam was well off but not rich. maybe if they had been RICH, it would have been enough to outweigh my CONSIDERABLE neuroticism.

cuz you know , 2^3 vs 3^2, it’s really not a big difference, and hard to tell which is the exponent and which is the base hehehehe.

and i am WAY more neurotic than muh fam is “wealthy.”

but your family being rich, thats NURTURE, while you being crazy is NATURE. so im saying that NURTURE is stronger than NATURE. which is a pretty SHITLIB, MARXIST, JOOISH thing to think!!!!!!!

so yeah i wouldnt mind studying Rich Kids who became Failures. but they always had a safety net. my fam was not RICH, but they were rich enough for a safety net. which i guess IS pretty rich. privileged hehehehehe.

but whats even more privileged is being able to call someone and get your fookup loser son a job, and my fam was well off enough to give a safety net, but they didnt have that kind of “SOCIAL CAPITAL” at all.

guy on MPC thread on elizabeth warren says that its FALSE that medical bills are the #1 cause of bankruptcy. and that any bankruptcy attorney knows this. which supposedly warren IS or was. heh. so whats with this stuff ive heard from “bankruptcy experts” on what the number one cause of bankruptcy is? if you cant trust the experts on a very big thing they SHOULD know……who can you trust? you cant trust doctors who spent 6000000 dollars to go to medical school? can you trust your wife? your family?  well thankfully i could trust my fam to have good intentions at least, not to mention a safety net, which a lot of people dont have!

i mean there ARE real experts in the world, who DO know more than laymen!!!!

they says its good to be skeptical and question authority, but what if you think all authority is full of shit, lying to you, scamming you? i just dont want to be that paranoid, its really not fun. i like to think SOME people know what they are talking about, and can actually TEACH me something.

heh. i trust the guys on MPC to be fairly smart and wise on many things. probably TRS too but im still taking a temporary break from them, i am pretty much over the thing there. and i am not longer really disappointed with mike. we cant all be like weev and be fully redpilled before we get married. in fact if you marry young, chances are you wont be redpilled. and its better to marry young. except sometimes you might marry a J hahahaha. thing is, i think they were both over 30 though. they werent 20 year old kids getting married.

normieness = TOUGHNESS.

 

PRON IS WORSE THAN BEING A SL00T

jan 26

http://mpcdot.com/forums/topic/8227-why-pornography-is-bad-for-you/#entry190803

i might have linked this already, worth reading again hehe

found it in comments to this vid

wish weev had some cooler people with him and not those dumb women, but women luv weev for reasons i shouldnt’ need to mansplain. they would fly halfway across the world to have weevs babies. and i definitely want weev to have many hwyte babies.

heh i am much more attached and hero worshipping of weev than i am of for example mike enoch. if weev did something disappointing, i would be a lot more disappointed.

i mean im kinda disappointed he’s hanging out with this white slut losers hahahahaha.

had 7 minute conversation with adjacent department colleague. he is way too smart to be in his current job, which is a job i would like to have. but he is a big ideas man who would be very well suited for grad skool IMHO and he is thinking about it and sort of on the fence…..but he is light years ahead of me as far as having a good plan and talking a great game and doing his research, and READING BOOKS, working on a business plan, looking at schools, looking at programs, plus he is more charismatic than me and has a GF who is planning on going to med skool.

full version, without the silly music, of anti-pornography interview by ted bundy MERE HOURS before he was executed, linked early in that MPC thread

nofap is kinda ridiculous, i think the much more important thing is NOPORN. porn is INHERENTLY destructive and horrible, a LOT more than jerking off is. of course when you pair the two, a lot of people get it confused. no you can still jerk off, just dont look at porn. ever. again.

http://mpcdot.com/forums/topic/8227-why-pornography-is-bad-for-you/page__st__100#entry191105

been reading this whole thread. pman has a great effortpoast here.

anyway yeah i talked to this guy who is nice and charming and very smart, he is somewhat like me in that he is currently “underachieving”, but he’s underachieving way less than me because at least he’s above bare minimum, he is well positioned to go to grad school, he has a gf, and seems well adjusted. i should try to hang out with him socially hahahahaha. and while i agree with him on several important points such as a radical reimagining of Education, the destruction of the modern university as we know it, meaningless Credentialism etc, i am SURE he is much more leftist than me, and seeks to make everyone equal, etc. also uhhh i don’t think this guy is technically hwyte hahahahahahahaha. but he is nice and smart and i feel favorably to him.

so is me not disclosing my views, is that disingenuous, or is that Good Tactical Taqqiya? especially since i cant really argue my views well with smart people.

this guy really is a really good drummer, really fun to listen to him rawkkkkkk the fook out on those drums. PLENTY of superfast blasts as well as the more med paced ones. great drum SOUND as well. well done lad.

not sure how much i love the overall production, but the drums sound great and the mellow parts, maybe the heavy guitar is a little fuzzy. a minor quibble.

just exploding with high energy, impossible to believe this is just one guy. but yeah his energetic drumming is the foundation of all that. the rocking bass playing probably helps too. not that bass has any place in black metal hahahahaha. this might be my moment where i finally Get Into Panopticon. shit i even like the phaggy nonmetal parts. none of it sounds insincere. hey maybe all the people saying panopticon was good were on to something.

yasssss ive KNOWN about them/him for a long time, 5 years at least hahahaha.

he does really like those fast blast beats. good for him. i think i would play in a similar style as him if i could actually play drums. i am aiming for the same target as him. the same drumming muse motivates us hahaha.

jan 27

see i like that he does the fast beats over (under?) very melodic, catchy riffs that could just as well work with somewhat slower beats, so you can still totally understand the riff, rather than for example nile who have fast blasts and fast, meaningless, incomprehensible riffs that sound like total wankery. fun, passionate, happy wankery but still wankery.

anyway. day off here. was very tired last night and fell asleep easily. the big surprise was the greatness of the sleep that followed. long, solid sleep, but also filled with interesting dreams which i will try to remember.

one sort of confidence shaking one involved me meeting with muh boss’s boss, who is pretty much an official higher-up, and kind of an intimidating, no nonsense, masculine man who wants to get things done. not very surprising given his professional role. but obv i want him to like me. so he was having a brutally honest talk with me about My Fit with the Organization, how I can see everyone around me has masters degrees and are consummate professionals, so what do I really think about that, heavy implication that i obv dont have a masters degree and am underachieving as fook, i am now an older man, WHY ARE YOU HERE, why arent you doing MORE, and WHAT ARE YOUR CAREER GOALS. that was a direct question. tell me right here and now what you are trying to do with your life, what are your career goals, prove to me that you are a good fit with this team, impress me with your specific career goals. and i was caught off guard and started rambling nonsense, a bad answer, and he saw it immediately because he is very perceptive, and quickly shut it down. ok ok ok i see where you stand, let’s end this meeting now and let you go back to your underachievement. with the heavy implication that i was now marked as the underachieving loser slacker who would never be considered for promotion.

now the reality is, i will never be “promoted” per se, the best that could happen, and I guess that IS muh immediate career goal, is to do such a good job here and now, that IF a better position opened up, I would be the top choice for it. that is, i won’t ever be promoted in this position, i would have to apply and interview for a totally new job. in the sense of req codes and job classifications and unions. all our jobs are kinda strictly defined which certainly is related to The Union.

anyway if he ever had that discussion in real life, and he wouldn’t, if anything it would be my direct manager, who is personality is more….gentle but he still gets a lot of stuff done. I would tell him, I love muh job but obviously want something more substantial, i would love to have more responsibility (hours, money) in this department, i want to be the top candidate here. i’ve been on the fence about masters degree for ever and i think i have legit reasons for that. but your opinion is important and if you push me in that direction, that would help get me off the fence. i just dont want to pay 50 grand for a useless masters degree. would basically be what i would say.

what else. i was a young man living in a house much like how i did at that time, with a ton of other young students. common theme in muh dreams. i was sitting and talking with an “older” woman who was the mother of this gurl I fancied who lived in the house too. this was a real gurl I did once fancy. there was also a young man there who was the gurls brother. i never RL met the mother or the brother. they were talking disparagingly of the woman, that she was a very shallow, judgmental, bitchy young woman, that she only liked you if she could use you, she only liked cool, good-looking people, and treated you like garbage if you weren’t, and this is a bad way to be, and she better change her attitude.

in the dream i was kinda friends with the woman and was thinking wow that’s a little harsh, dont talk about muh waifu like that hahaha. i hope she’s not really like that. but this is her FAMILY saying this about her!

funny enough, i never saw that woman in the dream. in real life, she was a very young, very qt gurl who i was sorta friends with for a while. but she WAS kinda bitchy like that, and also a bipolar, crazy, mudshark slut doing flighty things and prob very good at Ghosting people or throwing them away. she didnt really throw me away, we just kinda drifted apart and really werent that close to begin with.

later in the dream i met with other young women in the house, who were trying to suss out how i felt about that woman. who i liked every though everyone else didnt. i was talking to a Good Looking, Light Skinned Black Gurl who was kinda friendly to me and was possibly open to me banging her. I would much prefer to Bang the other woman and I wasn’t in luv with Race Mixing….but this Black gurl was miraculously good-looking enough to tempt me. believe me that never happens with blacks hahahaha.

i basically tried to very softly state to her that I thought she was good looking, but also that I thought the other (hwyte) gurl was good looking too. I made some great bullshit statement about being 1% attracted to somebody. wish i could remember it. i am a fan of the female form and appreciate all kinds and flavors of female beauty. a good looking gurl is a good looking gurl. certainly you, as a good looking gurl, can appreciate that, hahahahaha.

thats about it. no real lessons in that one, other than yeah i should have listened to other people and not pedestalized that woman, because she was clearly not a great person. and she wasnt! i would have totally dated her though.

she could have been a better person if she had seriously seen a shrink and just kept her legs closed and just made a damn effort to be a better person.  but she had big daddy issues of course. SAD.

i mean i dont think she was that bad of a person. she was just heavily compromised and broken and even if i did date her, i know she would have dumped me quickly and it would have been yugely disappointing. she was very disappointing. because she could have been much much better. fairly smart, great looking hwyte gurl. i blame the father for abandoning her. and the mother, im sure, was at least a little crazy herself. mother married a pretty stable man early in the gurls life but it appeared the damage had already been done. to the mothers credit, she did pretty well with that guy and built a seemingly stable family.

http://mpcdot.com/forums/topic/8227-why-pornography-is-bad-for-you/page__st__180#entry213001

great comment here by millennial former p0rn freak who realized the error of his ways. this yuge thread just gets better and better. prob should permalink it. ok done.

QUOTE

The young man becomes insatiable by 21. Now there isn’t even a hint of affection in the scenes he watches. Love, healthy emotion, and even pleasure itself are passe. ……On it spirals, the curious young id, into French curls of perversion and decadence. Whips. Chains. Anger. Raw frustration. Rage. Hate. Sex is now hate to him. Sex is just ugly, contemptible, shameful: a grim continent of disgusting Freudian urges. Why fight it? Keep going. Keep looking. Keep clicking. There’s salvation, there’s absolution out there somewhere.

Until one day the young man, alone in his onanistic filth and fluid, learns the master lesson of human sexuality. If he is wise, his heart and intuition will lead him there. That lesson is as follows: the sexual impulse is perverted if it is aimed at pleasure alone. There is no greater cause of human heartache than chasing pleasure for pleasure’s sake. All the sexual impulses must be directed toward some higher purpose: strengthening a marital bond or forming a family. Any other avenue of sexuality hijacks the awesome power of your libido and makes a slave out of you.

I quit porn. I quit any kind of sexual titillation not involving a real, living woman I love and with whom I wish to raise a family.

I only wish I’d been given this prime directive more forcefully as a child.

END QUOTE

big march for life today in DC, almost forgot about this. they should have this at LEAST twice a year, ideally every week or day. i think its a good opportunity for pro-hwytes to be visible and active. get richard spencer at this thing hahaha. they are incorporating Gays For Life, which is not the best way to go imho. well….i dunno. on the fence about that. if it can help overturn roe v wade, then it would be good. and then we could focus on turning down the gay degeneracy. IMHO i think abortion is the bigger problem. that commonplace, feminist-related, straight-WOMAN-related degeneracy is a more pressing issue than gay degeneracy.

so  i dont read enough books hahahaha. i did an impulse buy of this book. i was looking at bowling alone, which is somewhat of a classic. then remembered when i talked to my intelligent colleague yesterday, he mentioned bowling alone as well, and said putnam did another book on education. i THINK he was talking about “our kids.” that would prob be more up my alley right now. almost bought that one, then read some critical reviews saying “coming apart” was better, on a sim topic, and less PC. plus i had heard about “coming apart” ever since it came out and I have respected murray ever since the bell curve which i bought like 5 years ago hahahaha. also its PAYDAY so this is muh gift to myself. plus it talks about HWYTES directly in the title. ok i’ll bite.

also i look for books where you can get a used hardcover book for a decent price. got a 60/40 shot here, not in your favor.

ok big task for the day is go to store. aiming to do that at 6pm.

just wanted to say for all i talk about pr0n, im not really tempted to watch it, and im greatful for that. but it ULTIMATELY wouldnt matter if i were tempted every single day, as long as 1. i realized it was bad, 2. AND i resisted the temptation.  so i would stand in moral solidarity with the men that are really STRUGGLING there, fighting the good fight. i am no better than them. if anything this shows you the temptation is only temporary. this too shall pass.

tbh im MUCHHHHHHH more tempted with MJ. i think about it ALL THE TIME, several times a day. if i HAD any, i WOULD be indulging in it every day.

in a way, being a habitual porn user is WORSE than a woman being a dirty slut. because she STILL doesnt watch PORN.

think about it. the pathetic foreveralone atomized virgin with 31 tabs of weird porn. cant talk to gurls. sees secs as jooish narcissistic pleasure only. with no idea how to relate to other people. at least the slut has better social skills! the slut isnt shutting herself away from people and hasnt stunted her ability to deal socially with the opposite secs!

in fact, in dealing with REAL HUMAN SECS rather than the fake illusion of porn, the woman has MUCH more occasion to view sex as a human act. because it isnt such a SOLITARY pursuit for her. the human, two-person nature of secs is MUCH harder for the slut to deny, than for the pathetic neet constantly jerking off to videos, by himself, never experiencing that with another living person.

so its probably HARDER to become a slut than to become a porno addict neet hehehe. because to become hard to Actual Human Interaction like that and STILL DO IT indicates a VERY poor moral character. i think its easier to fall into porn than to fall into sluttery in other words. porn is a MORE slippery slope.  cuz its JUST YOU. only you and the weird, twisted world you’re creating, no one else there to help pull you back from that abyss.

its easier to associate secs with Human Bonding when you are having actual secs with an actual person, in other words. so yeah the women that CAN do that I think are even WORSE off than the most hardened pathetic porno neets.

and if you “gave” these porno neets a real woman, that might be like a harsh wake up call to the Human Element of secs, which might get them to quit porn. but porn obviously DRAINS your Social Capital and Charisma and makes it much less likely you could get a real woman to consent to secs with you. so i guess the best solution is to spend decent money to get an attractive hooker. because hookers are still humans hehehehe. unlike porn. not saying those gurls arent humans either, because they are. they are probably the most pathetic of all. but no way the hardened porn jerker is gonna udnerstand that.

its just such a bad shitty thing and i cant believe more normie men dont realize it. they might not become daily, 31 tab porn addicts, but they still beat off to it once a week and think its harmless, fun, hot, sexy. thats bad enough!!!!!! even if they still havent been harmed enough so that they can’t pull human women.

like guys who have a GF they have regular secs with but STILL watch porn. i GUARANTEE the porn will EVENTUALLY cause a problem. and with good reason, because it IS a real problem.

anyway im just thankful i am not tempted by it and i have not watched it in well over a year. like 15 months maybe.

wish i could just as easily not want to smoke MJ. i dont know how im gonna do that. with porn i simply stopped watching it. MJ i havent even smoked in like 4 months but still think about it every day.

heh why havent i looked for an MPC thread on MJ. theres gotta be one.

oh right. because they either dont have a SEARCH function, or, more likely, i am too low-rep to use it or even see it. doesnt make much sense tho. i mean the forum is largely open to read to the public, why not make it searchable. can google do it?

https://mpcdot.com/forums/topic/7920-marijuana-not-even-once/

ok you CAN use site:mpcdot.com to search the site at google.

https://mpcdot.com/forums/topic/287-critiques-of-legalization/

first one is prob more relevant.

anyway. i think i ALWAYS had an IDEA that porn was somehow wrong. gross and ugly and not realistic. but i used it ANYWAY. but i dont think my heart ever became completely closed. i was aware it might be hurting my behavior with real women, but i did it anyway.

i didnt think it was a huge problem, because i didnt spend hours looking at it at a time. i didnt have 31 tabs open. but maybe i had 10 tabs open! and i used it most days! even if it was just 10 minutes, go to a trusted source, and rub one out. that was bad enough. thank god i never got to the point where i had huge hours-long porn marathons, just looking and looking and looking.

but damn if i didnt still graduate to weirder and weirder stuff anyway!

and i think it did make me hate women, because i thought that those real-life sluts had reduced their real-life sex to something crude and disgusting just like this porno!

and now that i’m fully aware of exactly how disgusting and wrong porn is, i STILL think real life sluts treat their real-life sex like this, which makes me have extreme contempt for them…….but they probably DONT, so i SHOULDNT hate them so much. they probably STILL feel some human connection.

when i was looking at porn, i KNEW it was lacking the human connection, and that the human connection was something I really WANTED. but i did it anyway because i was horny. just wanted to see some naked young girls fooking and doing increasing weird stuff. but i still wanted a gf and a rel and cuddles and luv. i knew that the porn was at the very least WEIRD and not realistic, but i guess i accepted it as an imperfect Substitute. its actually a hell of a lot less harmless than that. i certainly didnt realize how harmful it was.

even NOW i believe it still affects the way i view women! thats probably the worst long term harm its done to me. i wish i could undo it. i am cautiously optimistic More Years without porn will help here. but point is, even a year plus cannot completely undo it. its LONG TERM shit.

like you see a woman inadvertantly show cleavage while leaning over, and you think Automatic Negative Thoughts like that dirty slut. sex means nothing to her. she fooks guys and throws them away, the sociopath. and that is almost certainly not true. you are looking at reality COMPLETELY WRONG. heh. that is humbling and hard to accept.

A person’s success in life can usually be measured by the number of uncomfortable conversations he or she is willing to have.

signature of “marketing guru” on MPC who has a pciture of tim ferriss for his pic hahaha. looks like tim ferriss is the originator of the quote too hahahaha. well he’s kinda a BELLEND but i kinda like some of the things ferris says, and this is one of them

i read part of 4 hour work week in 2012 and kinda wish i hadnt gotten rid of the book, i think i purged it as “jooish degeneracy” but he’s not really jooish. he is a very successful hwyte man who despite being kinda sleazy has said some powerful things hehehe. has lessons to teach.

QUOTE from pman: But what really sets them apart is that they struggle to relate to other people, which comes across clearly online and must be glaringly apparent in real life. What’s also apparent is that porn consumers operate with a strikingly high level of baseline depression, which they use porn (among other things, probably) to combat.

end quote hehehe. like i say, great thread, good reason ive permalinked it in the sidebar. i hope the MJ thread can help quell my urge to do MJ hehehe. which as ive said is a MUCH bigger threat atm than porn. ive pretty much solved muh pron problem thank god (although still feel the long term residual effects!!!!) but at least I dont WANT it the same way i’ve CONSTANTLY WANTED MJ.

https://mpcdot.com/forums/topic/7920-marijuana-not-even-once/

lets link this one again hehehe. dis gon B gud.gif. this might even graduate to the sidebar.

well it is pretty gud. i should read this every time i want to smoke MJ. ie, erra day hahaha. just wish it was 28 pages like the porn thread instead of only 4 pages.

http://takimag.com/article/has_pot_become_a_hard_drug_gavin_mcinnes

gavin mccuck writes for takis which is a halfway decent “gateway to the alt right” site. hes actually a decent writer even if he is a weak cuck married to an asian joo with little mixed kids. terrible. sad. but this article sees him smokin modern MJ and getting a panic attack. and basically he is becoming more anti-MJ now that he sees how STRONG the stuff is.

whats worrisome is i would get panic attacks and paranoia and STILLLLL want to smoke it!!!!!

yeah pretty good thread, needs to be longer tho. and uhhh i still wanna smoke MJ. god damn it hehehehe.

i actually took a pretty much full dose of nyquil at 7pm after coming back from the store, did my Goal for the day thank god. then had nyquil. then drank some coffee because i wanted to play cards for a little. actually did ok today. left with more than i came in with. 4 to 6. that does not happen most of the time hahaha.

about to go to bed now. this is why i took the nyquil, so i could sleep long time when i did go to bed. guess i could have just taken it now hahaha. 1030pm.

saor aura album. pretty sure i like saor better than panopticon but its nice to hear panopticon drumming for saor on this album because he’s such a good drummer and he brings his great style and sound to this album.

 

 

 

 

 

FRIENDS IS FINE, BEST FRIENDS IS NOT

nov 3

welp did interview for PT, 11 dollars an hour job. went ok. lasted 1 hour. i was not super nervous. still stumbled on some questions and tried to bullshit some bullshit. even though i personally think education is a bunch of bullshit, i just like the idea of working at this school. everyone was nice. the woman there, i had known her from 3 years ago when i used to say hello to her and chit chat, she was very nice to me and i was very nice to her. did not expect to see her today, wasnt sure she still worked in this department. the Director is a Big Confident Guy with beautiful white family, working on a PhD right now, he is very big on Education, that kind of shit. i am very big on pulling your kids out of public schools and homeschooling them away from the brown hordes and FEDGOV bullshit. maybe he doesnt like FEDGOV bullshit either and wants to FIX things by being PART of the school board. he worked for x years in Horrible Black Public Schools and i tip my fedora to that. I would not survive a day in that jungle. but i dont think the experience made him a White Nationalist Red Pilled on Race at all, rather, hes doubled down on All Children can succeed with a good Education. and he’s not gonna change his mind because he’s worked hard, had a successful career, has a beautiful family, seems like a genuinely decent guy, has a masterz degree, and in a few years will have a phd.

i mean i have a probably better than average chance of getting this job because i know two, technically 3 people in the department. but i have been rejected for 3 diff PT jobs by this org before, even though i worked at the org for 5 years 3 years ago. so…..again i am no stranger to getting rejected for 11 an hour PT jobs from a place i previous worked.

had a dream where i started making out with this very qt gurl i used to work with at that same job. now she got married and i was never friends with her, but she was always very nice to everybody, very bubbly and nice and pleasant, and very very qt. she Connected with me on Linkedin like 6 months ago and i was like damn she is a nice gurl, good wife and mother material there, that guy got a CATCH. and straight up 8/10 qt hahahahaha. way out of my league. way out of his league. anyway if she were interested in me i would forget about That Woman forever hehehehe. she has a successful career now (the qt gurl) and i am not resentful about it.

yeah i would have enjoyed making out with her, cuddling, secs, dating. i didnt really try with her because a. i didnt work with her that much b. i knew right away she had a BF. the guy she ended up marrying.

was at weekly social thing yesterday and saw a VERY attractive young woman, another total 8. long legs, nice white skin, long brownish hair, pretty face, just the right amount of Meat on the Hips/Buttocks area, good good. i wonder what her BMI is. because SOME women might be self-conscious about being FAT, and then other degenerates would be like BBW The Fatter The Better, but she just looked Healthy and Fertile AF to me. child bearing hips. definitely not anorexic. just the ideal normal young woman body. not fat but not overly skinny. not fat but a little soft in all the right areas. not in a fetishist way. but in a NORMAL way. i could not stop looking at her. if a gurl like THAT were interested in me, i would be OVER That Woman right NOW. yesterday.

yes of course this new woman was objectively more attractive than That Woman.

but yeah, point is, there ARE still attractive young women out there who, if i were spending time with them and they were being nice to me, i could see myself Getting Over THAT woman.

but these women are SO attractive as to be WAY out of my league. like i say. 25 year old full blown 8’s hahahaha. whereas i am more a 6.8 type guy.

and That Woman was probably closer to a 6.8 than a 8? really? the midpoint is 7.4.

i mean in that 6,7,8 range, you really DO need to drill it down like that.  that is a LOT of ground to cover, a LOT of variation, that is WAY more noticeable than like 1 to 1.1 haha.

anyway, getting this job would be fine, because everyone seems nice and i know a couple people there. i wouldnt want to get COMPLACENT though. because you need an FT job, not some damn 25 hours a week, 11 an hour, 275 a week,  13.7k a year job. sheeeeeeeeeeeeit. aint nobody can live off that!

but muh anxiety and mental and emotional health are always a damn problem, im practically damn disabled hahaha. should really see a professional about that hahahaha.

maybe i need to get a new shrink hahahahahahaha.

see i like my shrink very much. but the actual progress could be a little better haha.

i know people who are REALLY SERIOUS about managing their Issues go through like 10, 14 shrinks before they find the right one, not just stick with the first one.  so maybe thats my problem.

heh my problem is that i dont want to go back to school hahahaha.

bbbbut i already have 18 years of education.

but if its not enough of not the right KIND, then i obviously need to go back and get more!

well i guess its good that what i want to do is very exact: help under-40 white men with despair, anxiety, neet, shyness, autismal, failure, rejection, alcohol, MJ, nevergf, virgins, rels. period. no blacks, no browns, no borderline, no sociopaths, no schizo, maybe flexible on bipolar, no nonnevergfs.

and thing is, masters degrees are ridiculously specific too. like speech language therapist, or IT Business Analyst, or Black Social Work, or Charter High School Librarian, or basically masters degrees are tailored to very specific jobs. and my concern is there are just not a lot of JOBS in what i want to do, to help that small ass market. there are way more social work jobs for the more shitty kind of social work. plus social work is pretty stressful too eh hahahaha.

i shouldnt crap on these female MSW’s, ive gotten better i swear. they work hard, theyre not idiots, and if they are horrible sluts in their personal life, they probably try to do as little damage as possible. have decent empathy hahaha. dont just murder hearts in cold blood hahaha.

but to have the county send you all its worst black juvenile delinquents, god damn. i would not want that. or people who get neglected and abused by their damn shitty families. i only want to help shitty people from GOOD families hahahaha.

basically i would have to do some revolutionary marketing and appeal to people that are Too Stubborn to Get Therapy. AND be able to make it affordable for them.

well i guess having a generous Sliding Scale is a must.

Again I am willing to be an unlicensed therapist for 12 dollars an hour, noting that i am just giving it my best effort and trying to handle shit above my pay grade hahahaha.

constantly handling shit above your pay grade without help and without error IS your job hahahaha.

yeah ok i would be happy to get this 13k a year job hahaha. because i could see myself not going mad. plus it would position me to have a better chance at getting ANY job, for the phaggots that are very gapist, and who are rejecting me mainly because of The Gap.

Listen. Heres the thing. I would probably be pretty GOOD in a relship if the woman gave me a fair CHANCE. if she was willing to COMMUNICATE. USE YOUR WORDS, like a GROWN UP. doesnt have to be a conversation. can be an exchange of letters. i know its easy to get NERVOUS and not communicate very well sometimes. so write a letter in the safety of your own comfort zone where i cant gaslight and minimize and abuse you and make you feeeeeeeeeel weird. thats FINE.

then i would talk to this one guy and see if he can get me an MJ order. if so, I will be ecstatic and put in a 100 dollar order. go big. if not…….i guess i will continue scheming to get a medical card. go to this “clinic” and complain of carpal tunnel pain and say hey doc, i’m MORE THAN WILLING to meet with you again in 1 month, 3 months, to establish a bona fide doctor patient relship here. i’ll just come see you again in 3 months, say i have the same arm pain, and you can give me a rec then. i can wait 3 months. i’ll pay for a second visit, even a THIRD visit.

then try to be the best employee ever, learning so much, showing so much initiative, buying treats for everyone, shit i’ll make cookies if i have to. be like hey boss i was reading the journal of blabla the other day and it said this, or did you see this ted talk by cheryl sandberg, can I capture your thoughts on that.

i mean it was a quiet office, the phone wasnt ringing off the hook, yeah i would like to have this job! its super close, took less than 10 minutes to drive there. wasnt a call center, people are nice.

i mean honestly. i was able to handle an insane working environment for a FULL YEAR. 40+ hours a week of torture in the sense of constant panic and dread and fear and anxiety. and i improved and earned respect and eventually became a Good, Reliable, Trusted person. Top 40% material hahahaha.

i cannot forget that it was not the job alone that pushed me over the edge, but the COMBINATION of BOTH the job AND the woman. AND if things had worked out better with the woman, things PROBABLY would have worked out better with the job. and now im afraid all jobs will be that bad. well they CANT be, even a shitty call center would be better because That Woman wouldnt be there!

world series. who gives a fook. normies making 50k a year, with families and kids, thats who.

heh. millennial woes really needs to do a road trip rather than just visit west and east coast. i mean dnations have already paid for this whole thing. thats fine. just get in a car and see some of White Middle America. it might leave him a little more optimistic is all. all of us is not like cali or NY or DC!!!!!

also he needed to spend a few days in LA and not just go right to San fran. although i guess san fran is full of asians, but they are all tech asians making 300k a year and not being violent.

http://mpcdot.com/forums/topic/9182-all-apologies-why-i-architected-the-modern-social-justice-movement/

weev does a lot of good posting on MPC

i donate .14 euros to weev per week hahahaha. this has accumulated over several months to where it can be said that i have indeed bought weev a hearty meal hehehehe.

i mean i dont like how he makes hacking sound so EASY. oh just pick up a book on python or C. I have spent…6 hours a week, 26 weeks, 156 hours at least doing C++, and i dont feel it really GOT me anywhere. I’m like, this si fooking POINTLESS, its not gonna help me make 12 dollars an hour, you need to do at least 14880 hours on it at then you can make 15 dollars an hour.

”  Turning mentally ill women into a salaried force incentivized to act as badly as possible towards disinterested nerds in public paid huge dividends.   ”

heheheh what about INTERESTED nerds. totally humiliating supplicating omega orbiters is what im getting at.

anyway i luv weev, he’s in muh top tier, i will continue giving him .14 euros a week hahahahaha. up to a limit of 20 USD a year hehehehe. maybe moar if i ever get a job hahahahaha.

anyway women are so NIHILISTIC. SEX means nothing to them, RELS mean nothing to them, PEOPLE mean nothing to them. they treat everything as cheap and disposable. throwaway. EVERYTHINGS a throwaway. know someone for years, they’re just as disposable as some one night stand guy, just as disposable as the new life you casually create with that sexy stranger. LIFE IS CHEAP.

yeah well i dont think its so fookin CHEAP!

wewlad finally had a good calorie day today. it is SO HARD lately. i can eat 1200 calories in one meal.

took 75% dose of nyquil, would prefer some MJ like a degen

well its nice to know women can get heartbroken the same way men can!

yeah if you want it 1-3 times every day, you ARE a “sex addict”, ya dumb B. at the very least, a NYMPHOMANIAC. anyone who MUH DICKS THAT much is a DEGEN. high sex drive. suck muh dick bitch hahahaha. there are more important things in life than your SEX DRIVE, ya degen. try doing an ACTUAL JOB where you creat ACTUAL value, and not get paid to do MORE masturbation. serve angry customers. serve tables. deal with people. do stuff. get really confused. panic. go bald from the stress.

i never said you couldnt have male friends. i just say its pretty sketchy when your BEST FRIEND is a man. just like is sketchy when a MAN’s BEST friend is a WOMAN. i would guess in at least 75% of these, there are feelings involved. maybe requited feelings, but still feelings that will complicate the friendship bigtime.

friends is fine…..BEST FRIENDS is not.

 

 

yeah i mean its better when the guy is CONFIRMED gay homosexual. i guess its ok if they are an ugly omega niceguy. well, no its not, because she shouldnt encourage the attention of some poor niceguy sadsack who is OBVIOUSLY in LUV with her. she shouldnt ALLOW that kind of guy to become her BEST FRIEND.

again just throwing pretty important concepts around LIKE THEY MEAN NOTHING.

NIHILISTS.

hehehehehe.

good to see that even the degenerate nihilist women on reddit think this situation is Problematic hehehe.

weev used to say some drugs were ok, but now he is taking the standard WN line that all drugs are always bad, included degenerate negro MJ. LIFT AND HACK, he says.

which IS great advice. and i agree MJ is TECHNICALLY degen. but i still really WANT it. maybe i will want it less once i go through another phase hehehehe. i mean i just WANT it! i would NOT brag about it to WN’s becuase I TOTALLY understand their position.

but if i cant have MJ then i will take nyquil every 3 days until i DO get some mj, and it WILL be a large amount, 75 to 100 dollars worth.

https://mpcdot.com/forums/topic/7751-why-one-relationship-is-better-than-many/page__view__findpost__p__167164

pmans award winning post hehehehe

https://mpcdot.com/forums/topic/69-the-nerd-sex/

very intelligent fun reading, i cannot discourage reading MPC and should put it in the permanent links.

http://mpcdot.com/forums/topic/7687-mpc-pua-lounge-no-incels-vocels-mensucels-or-other-cels/#entry186995

getting into a little MPC phase here.

i like the super smart tone, it is kinda like heartiste, but less degen. well i think heartiste was kinda instrumental in MPC’s origin, maybe a feud/banning with heartiste and pleasureman, something stupid and dramatic.

obviously heartiste is pro-white and pro-family values, but MPC seems to be a bit more blatantly in signalling against degen slut banging.

but yeah PMan i think prob has real issues with women, and i can relate. he might be like me if i were MUCH more successful in life, a little bit more successful with women but still couldnt get a long term waifu, were much more confident, and continued to drink.  yeah thats a lot of what ifs hahaha. i would totally take it, just for the Successful Career, Money, Status, Confidence, and Experience.

looking for personal relships with women thread hahahaha. i will totally take rel advice from the smart men of MPC!

yeah they will say, be a winner in life, do something important, find a decent woman at church, etc. prob very similar to what TRS would say. be a huge ubermensch and not a neet loser. decent women dont go for loser men. faint hearts do not win fair ladies. be a man worth getting a good woman. until you lift yourself up from neetness, dont even think about women.

yeah well until i become a winner, i’d still like to read about other peoples rels and their rel probs, so i might better approach similar probs if i ever get a rel, which i very well may not hahahahaha.

heh. not sure if its the nyquil or the low calorie diet, but just no energy. i should LIFT but even the idea of doing 10 pushups is intimidating hehehe.

so i ate huge bowl of cereal that was HALF of my entire DAYS worth of calories hehehehe.

all the food for one day. less than 2 bowls of cereal.

to be fair, it was a HUGE bowl of cereal, 3.25 servings of cereal. 100 grams hahahaha.

http://mpcdot.com/forums/topic/7979-the-incel-revolution-starts-now/

yeah i put MPC in the permalinks. cant not recommend this great forum hahahaha.

ok. no more interviews in the Pipeline. got to apply to something today. sheeeeeeeeeeit. fook all these phaggots. bitches can suck muh d. hahaha.

do i am nowhere near as narcissistic as elliott rodger. he couldnt admit anywhere in his weak ass short 150 page manifesto that he had any responsibility. in my 148800000000000000 page manifesto, i admit my own responsibility on every page. but women do have some responsibility to not be such narcissistic, sociopathic, immoral, nihilistic, hedonistic, negroistic sluts. semen demons hahahaha. muh dick. bix nood muhfugga.

treat people better than inconvenient fetuses you abort, your own children you coldly murder!

hehehehehe.

some really truly HATEFUL black metal. pretty fast too, lots of fast blasts. this is the kind of mood i am in nao hahaha. they just came out with their first album in 10 years. since this album as a matter of fact.

sheeeeit just tortured myself for 22 minutes apply to 2 jobs hahahaha. see the thing is now, i have my choice employers that i jump to apply to…….but ive applied to 30, 40, 50 jobs with them over the last 4 months and pretty much KNOW i’m gonna get auto rejected, probably for the gap. well, with the county at least, they brought me in for 2 interviews, so, im not gonna fully say fook the county. but they DO always reject me for the 26k jobs, no interview. i think they must be telling me, set my sights higher hahahaha.

and the hospital ALWAYSSSSSSSSS rejects me, has not had me in for one real interview, but toyed with me TWICE in a very unprofessional manner. them i am veyr close to saying fook off back to africa hahahahaha. israhell.

497 jobs here. going SO slow. have slowed down SOOO much. better make the 500th a good one.

 

 

another classic muh GF has a BEST FRIEND whos a guy. NO. FOOK THAT SHIT.

 

 

good lord what a fooked up crazy bitch who is turning this guy into a crazy b as well. hope reddit doesnt jump on him for doing something wrong.  THIS is how fooked up women are, a MAN would NEVER do something this crazy. the guy is now going so crazy hes wondering if he should turn himself into the police for raep. COME ON.

 

difficult situation where guy gets feels for his female friend, she rejects him, then gets mad and calls him a nice guy creep when he decides he needs space. what will reddit say? i say the guy is in the right, and the gurl is wrong and immature. thankfully reddit seems to agree. see reddit isnt all bad.

heh. whenever i read a womans issue, i think, well why dont you just LEAVE him. why do you even CARE. why dont you just ignore and block him. just dump him. just leave him. its so easy for you women to just LEAVE men.

but its not easy when they LUV the men. then they come on to reddit and ask how can i FIX this. they dont WANT to just leave him. wish i had that kind of luv from that woman!

why do you even care about this guy? why dont you just leave him? its so easy!

and of course reddit likes to always advise “dump the mfin asshole” hahahaha

and i dont think i was THAT huge of an ASSHOLE that i needed to be dumped with SUCH extreme prejudice hehehe.

ok fair enough. ive said my piece. peace. whatever. hahaha. sheeeeeeeeeeit.

 

they say don’t confess your feelings, but always “ask her out on a date.” i am a little wtf about this. i would say, yeah dont say IM IN LUV WITH YOU COMPLETELY, play that down and be like, hey i think i might sorta like like you, so lets Go Out On A Date to Olive Garden saturday night at 6pm, I’m buying.

being sort of facetious about olive garden of course. but im not sure if i would like some swpl snob leftist shitlib who thinks theyre TOO GOOD for olive garden.

good day for men with unrequited feelings for their female friends. this should really be a new flair subcategory.

nov 5

WAITING IN THE WINGS

THATS what she thought i was doing, and thats why she was so mad at me, thought i betrayed her.

its kinda like ulterior motives, and its kinda hard to disprove, because you gotta be willing to take the person (me) at their word: i wasnt waiting in the wings, ITS NOT WHAT IT LOOKS LIKE, I SWEAR!

and its NOT what it looks like!

but it REALLY looks like that to the other person.

i mean yeah, there is just too much reasonable doubt for her. my feelings changed right as she became single? it looks just like waiting in the wings! like i was waiting to SWOOP IN!

i wasnt really waiting in the wings…..but her becoming single DID make me think and feel about her differently! like, we get along, we are good friends, maybe we should THINK about this, i never really thought about this before, because i just wasnt used to you being single ever.

does it count as waiting in the wings if you dont do anything to break the people up?

but just passively wait there? i guess so. and it makes the woman hate you more for being a passive spineless pussy hahaha.

yeah but my JSUTIFICATION was that i didnt WANT them the break up because I wasnt WAITING for her because I didnt LIKE her until AFTER she broke up with him!!!!!

so yeah that is a very exact complicated thing to understand, and she has to be willing to listen to me and try to understand it, and i can understand why she wasnt willing to try to understand it. because it reasonably LOOKS kind of shady.

but it can go both ways! and I was hoping, probably not unreasonably, that she would give me the benefit of the doubt, because i wasnt some Shady Rando, so at least LISTEN to my side of the story! Im not some damn Rando Shady Creep!

I KNOW it looks bad to you and to 50% of people. just LET ME EXPLAIN.

of course who says ITS NOT WHAT IT LOOKS LIKE, LET ME EXPLAIN?

people who are caught red handed doing something obviously, indefensibly wrong!

but i DO have a legitimate defense! thats why i wanted an arbitrator, or at least a chance to defend myself!

COULD I CONVINCE A JURY that my defense is legitimate? i think so!

because i can say that my feelings changed officially in october 2014, and she was finished with longterm in bf in june 2014…..and prob earlier.

in july 2014 i had the first rumblings but tried to ignore it.

by oct 2014 i was like im not gonna ignore this any more. i will accept this.

had a dream last night featuring woman1, the first woman i ever went crazy for. i was 20-21 and she was like 23, actually older than me. weird to think that now she is mid to late thirties and is reaching the end of her “fertility”, so if she hasn’t had children by now……..she’s fooked.

anyway it was a pleasant dream, i was holding her close and grabbing her meaty ass.

but yeah waiting in the wings is when you have ulterior motives. i didnt have ulterior motives, therefore i was not waiting in the wings. but because of the timeframe, my motives might have looked ulterior to someone who wasnt willing to listen to my side of the story ehehe.

went to church, the most beautiful girl in church came in and sat next to ME. well, about 4 seats down from me, so that I couldnt really see her without making it obvious that i was staring at her. she was wearing a knee length skirt (acceptable level of modesty for me!) and i dunno a sweater or something acceptably modest on top. but you could still tell that she was a beautiful young woman. probably a little too young. 19, 20 years old. red hair. pale white skin. tall, long legs. yes that is my weakness.

i instantly got fantasies of White Knighting and Providing and Protecting, cuddling with her, and being a Big Strong Man For Her. Protecting and Providing. VERY natural and very nondegen, pure, good, moral, nonjooified feelings. nothing pornographic or jooified.

then i thought, well, while i’m thinking that abotu her, she’s fantasizing about getting fooked by chad, or worse, tyrone. thinking about pornographic jooish SODOMY, muh dick, oh yeah i wanna suck dick, get fooked by dick, get filled up by dick and bend over for dick and get fooked hard like a little slut.

while I’m thinking of being king arthur with my gallant shit here.

well i have NO PROOF that that gurl was thinking such jooish, pornographic, sodomite shit.

in fact, the less you watch that filth, the less you think like that.

so thats why i dont watch that shit any more. but the damage is already done. i watched a lot of that jooish garbage, so now i think that way.

another thing that poisons the white mind is university/college. they basically all need to be shut down. you are scooping out healthy white minds and filling their heads with jooish pseudointellectual pornography, masturbation. turning whites into joos. its HORRIBLE.

anyway, a young gurl who goes to CHURCH of her own initiative (she was there by herself, no family or Boifran hehehehe) is probably less of a pornographic jooish sodomite in their mind, than some neet watching jooish porn all day. so she PROBABLY wasnt thinking about SODOMY. she probably doesnt need to be MANSPLAINED to about how casual sex is bad and being a slut is bad and abortion is bad. she already Implicitly KNOWS all this.

so why didnt i Ask Her Out On A Date? well terribly low confidence from being a 30+ year old neet loser. but at least my BMI is 21.3! so that means i could pull a woman of minimum BMI 31.3 HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA (hint: over 30 is OBESE)

ALSO, if you take the (age/2)+7 rule……she would be TOO YOUNG for me hahahahaha. what about +3 hahahahaha.

also, an old man came and sat between me and her. i bet he wanted to protect and provide for her too hahahaha.

but yeah the horrible pornified way of thinking is still seared in muh mind. thinking that women are these dirty nympho sluts that like to get fooked like meat. they LIKE being DEGRADED.

years of watching porno has PERMANENTLY WARPED MY MIND.

so why not just say fook it and continue watching it?

well because i think i have improved at least a little. also i just dont WANT to watch it!!!!

anyway. there was ANOTHER cute young girl in church today (usually there are none, OR lets just say they are closer to 16 than to 18, yikes) but she was not as pretty. did not have long legs, not as pale white skin, she might have even had some nonwhite in her! she was with her young BF. it was nice they were going to church together. he had dark hair too but looked a lot whiter. she could have been part arab or italian or something hahahahaha. greek. turkish. albanian.

main point is, she was wearing tight exercise pants that are NOT appropriate in church, or even at the gym. theres a thread on MPC right now about this hehehehe. supposedly its EASY and CONVENIENT to dress like this. im sure it is, but its also easy for me to wear Baggy Sweatpants that arent GLUED to my ass and crotch. it puts the womens bodies, asses, genitals on display in a vulgar, immodest, degen, jooified, sodomitic way that its like theyre barely wearing clothes at all.

flanders feels like im wearin nothin at all!.wav

abwvo4u

stupid sexy flanders

so thats the damn POINT. its just as QUICK and EASY and CONVENIENT to wear something more MODEST.

it would be like MEN wearing SPEEDO or that stupid borat Onesie everywhere. to walmart. to church.

but thats not SECSY!!!!!!

the way an 18 year old girl with 21 BMI is !

well borat has a healthy BMI too, he’s not a fat slob, just Hairy and Gross.

well my point is. its immodest clothing that shows too damn much of your naked body!

(yes flanders of all people should know better!)

anyway i am wearing a pair of large sweatpants and they are super big. i could probably wear medium and it would be just fine. and that would be fine for most women too. why cant you just wear non-skin-tight sweatpants instead of super-skin-tight YOGA pants???!?!?!??!?!

isnt it HARD to STUFF yourself into pants that are SO TIGHT they show every curve of your ass?

JUST WEAR SWEATPANTS.

theres this fashion idea that sweatpants are the Least Sexy Thing Ever.

YOU DONT NEED TO LOOK SEXY ALL THE TIME!!!!!!!!

In fact, you really don’t EVER need to look SEXY. Not even in the Bedroom.

you dont need to look sexy at the gym, at the store, in public, at church.

so yeah. its JOOISH and PORNOGRAPHIC and SODOMITIC for everything to be so goddamn sexualized. you dont NEED to look SEXY!!!!!!!! its not BAD to not look sexy! just because youre not looking SEXY doesnt mean you have to look like a people of walmart fat slob!!!!!!!

dont wear skintight sexy clothes to the gym, which is a PUBLIC PLACE with lots of horny nonwhites who LOVE staring at young healthy women in skintight clothing!!!!!!

so yeah i hate this “its easy and comfortable” excuse.

and i liked that That Woman never dressed like that.

TO MY KNOWLEDGE hahahahahaha.

here’s two qt gurls, at CHURCH, and its obvious that one GET IT, and the other has NO IDEA.

thing is, the gurl wearing skintight pants to church probably ISNT a huge whore, she’s just a 18 year old gurl who doesnt know any better. and her father is either Gone, or Weak, or he’s a fat sodomite slob who jerks off to pictures of 20 year old girls wearing YOGA PANTS. its just what young girls wear nowadays. OH GOODY. MORE HOT ASSES TO JERK OFF TO. I think they are honestly so dense that they dont see that their OWN DAMN DAUGHTER LOOKS LIKE THAT. otherwise they would forbid their daughter from wearing clothes like that and looking like a damn SLUT.

i got a great idea: rent a car, DRIVE TO COLORADO, buy a LOT of MJ, then very carefully drive the car back over several states hahahaha. yeah thats prob a felony sooooo i dont advocate or support or recommend this. just wondering if people DO do it.

https://www.google.com/webhp?sourceid=chrome-instant&ion=1&espv=2&ie=UTF-8#q=smuggling%20weed%20out%20of%20colorado

http://www.pbs.org/newshour/updates/illegal-crossing-heres-weed-authorities-confiscated-nebraska-colorado-border/

http://www.usatoday.com/story/news/2016/05/13/when-smuggling-colo-pot-not-even-skys-limit/83623226/

http://bigbudsmag.com/beware-the-highway-police-vultures-br-waiting-to-swoop-on-marijuana-transporters/

https://www.washingtonpost.com/politics/at-colorados-borders-a-dividing-line-over-marijuana/2014/07/26/729c6462-06ac-11e4-bbf1-cc51275e7f8f_story.html

yeayea wapo is jooish trash i know

anyway its probably not worth it, they still bust a lot of people in nebraska and kansas it seems.

hmmm this is tuffer than im not haaaaaaaappy i think i wanna open our rel. this is yasssss i want to get MARRIED but i ALSO want to do this just this one time.

DUMP THE BITCH!

DITCH THE BITCH AND LETS GO FISHIN!!!!!!!

your not in a rel anymore, she dumped you, so you dont get to be mad about her fooking other guys!!!! hahahaha.

this is why you dont end the rel until you MOVE OUT FIRST.

THEN dump the guy.

THEN start fooking other guys super quickly and sending them noods.

just normal 21 yo gurl shit.

i mean a 21 year old should know shit is gonna get weird when you dump a guy, break his heart, THEN CONTINUE TO LIVE WITH HIM.  HOW DID YOU THINK HE WAS GONNA FEEL? HAPPY THAT YOU WERE BANGING OTHER GUYS RIGHT IN FRONT OF HIM AFTER YOU DUMPED HIM AND STILL LIVING WITH HIM?

why do they HAVE to add insult to injury? isnt it enough just to INJURE someone hahahaha.

why couldnt she just suck it up for 2 months until the lease ends, then be like, yep im dumping you, have a good life; OR find somewhere else to stay; OR be more private with her slut shit and not RUB IT IN HIS FACE.

Ive never been in OP’s situation THANK GOD, but i STILL know the right thing to do! and i prob would have known when i was a 21 year old idiot! because i have EMPATHY, unlike these WOMEN!

WOMEN HAVE NO EMPATHY!!!! MEN HAVE MUCH MORE EMPATHY THAN WOMEN!!!!!

oh so its HIS fault because he’s not SUCCESSFUL enough that he DROVE her to cheating, and her not wanting to fix the rel. i hate seeing men who are not at fault, BLAME themselves like its their damn fault their gf is trash!!!!!!!!

 

THIS IS WORK, NOT SCHOOL

aug 19

big interview with the asians today. the 15th interview. well it only makes sense i should get to 20 then.

had that sense of nervousness last night, like i couldnt study enough about the stupid company, and nothing was sticking.

THIS IS WORK, NOT SCHOOL. You don’t come here to LEARN, you come here to WORK. DO. MAKE. Do LEARNING on your OWN time. LEARNING wastes time and money.

so say youre having trouble with a class. struggling. there is ALWAYS outside help people are very willing to give you, whether its from the teacher (maybe) or a tutor. the school often provides tutors for the popular “hard” classes in math and science. but what if you want a tutor for your JOB because youre just not getting it good enough? you want to, and you are very frustrated.

THIS IS WORK, NOT SCHOOL. NO TUTOR. figure it out yourself or i guess you werent a good fit. see ya.

or, alternatively, say you call the tutor and they KNOW EVEN LESS THAN YOU DO. they never even TOOK the course, and you’re describing to them difficult problems from the course. how do I do this integral you say, and they say, hmmm whats an integral? i dont have any knowledge or experience in the subject i’m supposed to be tutoring.

THAT was EXACTLY how the last job was. I STILL get sick just THINKING about it.

an acquaintance of mine described how he lately has developed nervousness on PLANES, which certainly a lot of people have. totally understandable. I want to go to the doc and get a few xanax for this plane ride. he said even just THINKING of the experience in the plane was starting to make him nervous. yep. i totally understand completely.

the job was like being locked in the plane all day every day.

it pushed you to a panic state of Fight Or Flight, and you wanted to Flight, but you COULDNT. It was your JOB to FIGHT.

so how well do you think you’re going to fight when you’re panicking and you want to flight? you’re gonna fight like shit, make bad decisions, and get BTFO’d! K’d!

a successful fight usually requires superior strength, and or preparation.

like if you are caught off guard by a big burly brute, you better hope you are a well trained martial artist. or have a Sidearm.

AYO HOL UP. what kind of job is only open for ONE DAY. opens 18th, closes on the 19th. pays 20 dah. not bad uh. state job so they tel you that info. anyway. that tells me that they HAVE to post the job, but there’s no minimum amount of days they have to post it. and there is strong implication the job will go to someone internal. which is GOOD! unless its been promised to someones incompetent daughter hahahahaha. which is not good.

heh. now i am not worried at all about the interview. fookin asians. last time i apply for this company hahaha. no health care premiums but they dont cover prescriptions i hear. yeah well i need prescriptions to keep me “sane” enough to essentially not be disabled hahahahaha.

millennial woes is exactly right, casual secs and promiscuity is NIHILISTIC and leads to NIHILISM.

same thing with ABORTION.

http://goaskalice.columbia.edu/answered-questions/i-feel-i-have-lost-ability-communicate-people

hehehehe

had muh interview with the asians. talked to two white guys who were definitely engineerish. seemed nice but also a bit dorky. PERFECT. well the one white guy had sort of asian eyes. he could have been 35% asian hahaha. i just tried to make myself not seem like a total idiot. they have second interviews. i might get invited to that. im sure the asians will be at that one. i definitely saw asians when i went in. asian gurl at the front desk. i even heard asians speaking asian hahahahahaha.

YES I know exactly what manner of asians these are, i’m just not SAYING due to doxxing.

the white guys seemed nice. not alpha charismatic trumplike though. just straightforward sorta dorky white engineer normies. i think they want more of an engin background than i have. they were not allowed to discuss pay, or how many people were interviewing.  glassdoor suggests about 14.50 an hour. the guys did say it was hourly not salary. they could divulge that much.

they said there was training. and people who could help you. and you dont take phone calls from the customers. you just TEST the PARTS. i might even take the job if offered hahaha. it is fairly close.

casual sex and chill hangouts are   N I H I L I S T I C !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

when you are an angry 16 year old virgin, nihilism SOUNDS really kewl. but its really no way to live. its degenerate and nihilistic and BAD and shitty.

anyway i went in there thinking fook this place, fook off back to asia, you dont know how to run an american company,  and talking to the white guys i felt a little better. but yeah i def saw and heard some asians chattering in asian. i am SURE there is a double reality or classes of people here. asians speaking asian, making all the big decisions, reasonable or more likely unreasonable, and then the white goy underlings.

supposedly the bilingual asian-americans are seen as the lowest of all rather than the native asians? that seems weird. but asians are weird.

no i dont have any asian friends. or jooish friends or arab friends or black friends or brown friends or female friends or gay friends hahahahaha.

well, i will be reuniting soon with a college acquaintance who is a jooish woman lesbian hahahahahaha. i got along with her well back in the day, she was very nice to me and i was nice to her. well i feel bad even that i sorta left her in the lurch when i made a new group of friends who were more dramatic hahaha. they were good people too but they were very cliquish and i got sucked into the clique. big part of it, i was in LUV with this one gurl in the clique. that was really the crux right there.

OH ITS 440pm on FRIDAY AFTERNOON, THAT MEANS THE REJECTION EMAILS START ROLLING IN.

heres one for General Office Clerk full time at the Big Medical Revenue place that is super close. the place that has Reasonable Job Descriptions for entry level people, so I apply to all their shit except the call center CSR jobs.

actually this was a PART TIME job with them that i applied for 3 weeks ago. pretty good turnaround time guys hahaha. no it really is. i expect at LEAST a month to get a rejection email!

25-30 people in the quality testing department the job is in.

aug 20

yes as i get further out the clearer everything becomes. she just didnt want to DEAL WITH IT. you ever get something thats just TOO MUCH TO HANDLE. thats what it was for her. as soon as she saw one long email from me, she said NOPE. TOO MUCH TO HANDLE. I CANT DEAL WITH THIS. delete. not because she hated me, not because she felt betrayed by me, not because i was a horrible person, all stuff i was very worried about at the time.

also, it’s much easier to lose a friend than it is to lose somebody youre in LUV with. MUCH easier hahahaha.

plus she was in the process of moving out of our friendship anyway. well it would have been nice if she talked about that with me tho hahahaha.

shit yeah it sucks. shit YEAH it takes a LONG time to get over. at the One Year anniversary, i am actually pleasantly surprised by how much I AM Over It. It seems too fast, too soon, for something that was THAT big of a deal. should take at LEAST TWO years to get over hahahaha. well, im not over it entirely. it prob will take 2 years before i am able to have feelings for other women.

this was a great talk, i wish it went on longer. you dont have to end it just because its an HOUR, greggy hahahaha. Weev is WHITE HOT and one of the BEST young people for Our Movement. I think Greg is great, but he’s not on the Leading Edge. But he WANTS to be, he’s TRYING to be, and that is good. he embraces leading edge stuff like Weev and TRS, rather than infighting against it like irrelevant butthurt losers.

I like how Weev cracks himself up laughing at his own ridiculous jokes. he sounds a little bipolar or narcissistic but thats not really surprising.  he’s a great Ideas Man, he’s young, he’s ridic smart, and i am glad to have him on our side. i just want him to make more appearances and give more talks. make more vidyas. every time he talks he says something interesting and usually important and useful.

this is why i donate 25 euros a week to WEEV hahahahahaha.

yeah of COURSHE i would try to get weev on my podcast hahahaha. i would have him on for 3 hours and for multiple episodes. whenever he wanted.

well i mean i would have my huhwyte podcast, and then my neetcast, and i’m not sure there should be a lot of crossover. BUT THATS MY NICHE!! pro-white neets!!!!!!!!!

but pro-white is GOOD, and neet is BAD. well, thats why I focus on OVERCOMING neetness, UP FROM neetness! it’s not a celebration of neetness!!!!!! AT ALL!

I am older than weev, but younger than greg. i really identify with the younger generation here, but i am also slow to adapt to change like the older generation. like i totally understand greg’s attachment to publishing. its what he DOES. but i dont see it as a Growth Market. not that everything HAS to GROW all the time. but we WANT pro-white stuff to grow for sure!

and weev is applying an interesting advertising/marketing like perspective to it all.

i wish weev would come back to the US and do a lot more real life networking. real life networking is also VERY important. more important than publishing books. we have enough good books.

right now the hot shit is memes and forums, PODCASTS, and real life meetups and networking. getting successful, well-adjusted normies on our side. people with good jobs, wives and children. get the strong, successful alpha men on our side, and then the women will follow.

anyway lots of older huhwhytes say weev is controlled opposition, a shill, a mole, that back in the day he “hunted nazis” and now he is just rounding up young gullible nazis with no knowledge of his history.

that he is a FED, basically.

i dunno. i’ve been disappointed before. if he turns out to be a fed I will stop giving him money and singing his praises. TRS and Daily Stormer like him, so that is good enough for me. and Greg hahaha.

so yeah i am less angry at HER as well. i can totally forgive her and be somewhat less butthurt. i can totally understand why a person gets into fight or flight mode and then runs away. says NOPE. I CANT EVEN. ive done it before. i knew it was not the greatest thing to do but i just didnt care. i was that convinced i couldnt deal with it, i didnt care who i hurt. well i was never really HURTING anyone hahaha but myself. no not in a physical self mutilation way thank god!!!! but in a throw my future career away sort of way.

so yeah i dont get as mad any more about her doing something HORRIBLE to me. yeah it wasnt GOOD, but it is SUPER understandable. that doesnt make it right, but it doesnt make it horrible either. it sure felt horrible because i was in serious luv with her, and i stand by that. true luv is not something to be trifled with. its what joins two peopel together for LYFE, and creates NEW life. its more serious than cancer. and thats what i had for her. not some casual, nihilistic, replaceable, throwaway trash jooish bullshit.

joos turning your luv and your relationships into cheap chinese throwaway crap that you buy at walmart and the dollar store.

http://www.dailystormer.com/we-made-the-cover-of-time/

alt right internet trolls are the current cover of time

i guess the magazine is dying but thats still pretty big, its in doctors offices and normies homes everywhere.

ok no comments on the time article allowed. it only really mentions milo the joo queer and also weev, with some great quotes from him, telling the joo author of the time article he belongs in a fooking oven.  and of course milo is a degen and doesnt represent anyone. does he represent breitbart? im sure there are many decent breitbart readers and maybe some ok breitbart writers…..but he is not one of them hahahaha. talking about loving black dick. gay making out with gavin mcinnes to show that right wingers are not “homophobic.” i mean i guess mcinnes could be a gateway to better thinkers hehehe. but i didnt need a gateway. well im not a normie tho hahaha.

well lets say i found some young gurl who i found really qt and she turned out to be a huge slut and offer it up to me quickly. of COURSHE i would take her up on that. i cannot turn down secs from attractive young women, casual or not! but she would probably “dump” me after i banged her 3 or less times anyway. cuz i would be nervous and therefore the secs would be AWKWARD. the first time would be horrible. the second time would be a little better. by the third time, might even cross the line into good…..but by then the gurl will be turned off from the previous two bad times. there wont be a third time. of course it wouldnt be “bad” for me, it would just be awkward and very very self conscious and nervous.  and that would be enough to make it “BAD” for the woman. I would want to do it again, and she wouldnt.