CULTURE OF CANCER

nov 29

heh. spent money to order a TRS Ghoul t-shirt before the campaign ended. its a little pricey but they do good work and i want to support TRS and tshirts are my fav kind of merchandise hahahaha.

hopefully the company gives ghoul/trs a decent cut. I know TRS tried to make tshirts with a mainstream shirt company like teespring or something like that, and they were SHUT DOWN before they could even MAKE the first batch of shirts.

i wrote a note to the current company saying thank you for not firing your controversial client hehehehe.

ordered a L instead of an XL because i have lost so much weight that an L shirt now looks too damn big. jeez. so i have all these GREAT t shirts that look a little too big and floppy.

i guess the lesson is, lose weight, then buy Great Clothes for you at that weight, so you are motivated to not gain weight again and get too big for those clothes.

maybe i was dumped with extreme prejudice and insult and hostility because i was A Little Bit Overweight hahahahahahaha. no i already dealt with that Distortion.

2016-11-29-16_53_41-sky-jpg-1000x1250

here is the ghoul t shirt design. could be more edgy hahahaha but i guess having a fookin NOTSEE DEATHS HEAD is pretty edgy hahahaha. and surf the kali yuga just means ride the tiger hahaha. and most importantly, signals to other fashy goys that you know about these things, but have never read a word of evola hahahahahahaha.

then you can be like hey goy how much money you make and they will say, i make over 100k a year as a successful entrepreneur, manager, lawyer, doctor, stemgineer, and you can say: huh well i make 13k a year as an unemployable neet, wanna gimme a job and help really put the 14 words into practice hahahahaha. and they will say ok heres a 24k a year job, just stay away from my wife and daughters and family hahahaha. and i will say, thank you kind sir, GOD bless you and bless the huhwhyte race.

hmm you can force gmail starred to appear in the left list. in fact i think i probably turned it OFF accidentally.

ok so the deaths head is a symbol of the SS in particular. hitlers bodyguards hahaha. the schutzstaffel hahhaha.

that stupid woman. out there being successful and making money and being happy and being a productive member of society making 30k a year. while i struggle just to make HALF that. its like shes MORE THAN TWICE THE PERSON I AM.

twice as successful, twice as powerful, skillful, capable, twice as VALUABLE TO THE WORLD.

again that is an issue of perspective and ATTITUDE. just a lot of complex Negative Thoughts that need to be Unpacked and FIXED.

with what? talk back to it with BULLSHIT like you’re not defined by your JOB, unsuccessful people have as much Human Value as successful people?

REAL EASY TO SAY WHEN YOURE A SUCCESSFUL PERSON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

but when someone kicks you out of there life and then becomes ragingly successful while you become a raging failure, yeah thats rough man. thinking about them. the fantasy world where you could have been with them, lived happily ever after, and YOU would be successful too, making 30k a year, HAPPILY EVER AFTER. Youd have problems sure, everybody does, but youd work through them, and continue making 30k a year happily ever after.

i was sort of thinking about That Woman cuz ive just been emailing with the old colleague who worked with both of us, and we talk about so and so leaving and getting a job somewhere. and now we can no longer talk about That Woman because if My Issues. yikes.

yeah but I really DONT want to hear about how That Woman is doing so well, making 35k at her new manager job, getting married to her new successful black BF. hahahaha. really NOTHING I can hear about her will make me happy. i just need to pretend she doesnt exist. i dont want harm to come to her…….but i dont want to hear about her doing really WELL either.  im SURE shes doing well, they all do well, unless she does something to screw it up, then its her own damn fault, and i have no sympathy, and she has fairly 50 50 chances of either screwing it up, or doing well. the choice is hers. not mine. its none of my business.  i just wish it WAS my business! also who knows if That Woman even talks to the former colleague any more! might be Too Busy with her New Life!

nov 30

this is what Getting Over It looks like hahahaha. tons of thinking about the past, some thinking about the future hahahaha. what is she doing now. whos she fookin, how much money is she making.

everyone i know makes WAY more money than me, and it doesnt really BOTHER me. i guess if it did, THEN i would have a big problem. the only time it really BOTHERS me is when WOMEN who have rejected me go on to make tons of money and become super successful.

its like saying they are TOUGHER and STRONGER and BETTER than me, the REAL ADULT WORLD says this person is WORTH a lot more for their brains and skills and personality and work and worth.

it bothers me most with That Woman because overnight I went from making ok money to making NO money, and she went on making ok money, and has continued to make ok/pretty good money ever since, for a year and a half, while during that time ive made NO money. very very very humbling.

now other women who have rej me went on to make good money……several years AFTER they rej me. they paid their dues by going to grad skool for several years. fine. they deserve to make good money then.

but that woman, she never went to GRAD SKOOL! she never even finished COLLEGE! she hasnt paid enough DUES yet! me and her, we paid about the same amount of dues, well technically i paid a bit MORE! and now shes making WAY more than I am! Probably getting promoted! moving up! does she have 200 credits of college? no, she has like 60! does she know how to be charismatic AND really solve problems? NO she just sits there and looks pretty and says idk, it cant be fixed. she sm0kes too much MJ and believes in stupid conspiracy theories!

yeah i have my issues with Emotion Regulation and its a struggle to find my Wise Mind, but I can sometimes fake it pretty well. pretend i am a level headed, logical person. she cant even do that! yet she can make 30k+ a year and I cant even make muh goal of 26k a year! and she is 8 years younger than me! and 3 times less educated than me! rabble rabble rabble hahahahaha

so much butthurt hahahaha.

but the men I see every week for my social event, they make WAY more money than me, and it doesnt really bother me. i dont think that they think they are so much better than me, the pathetic low-earning loser.

i wasnt asking her to BE WITH ME. I was asking her to talk to me and make a GOOD FAITH EFFORT to HELP ME, in that her making a good faith effort to talk and TRY to smooth things out a little bit would have meant a LOT to me and i dont think was TOO MUCH TO ASK of her, like asking her to Be With Me would be. lets just talk about how we are both gonna handle this and move forward and try to have cool heads about this. so i was/am resentful that she wasnt even willing to do that.

yeah my Extreme Emotions are my own responsibility to control. but she could have given a LITTLE effort which would have helped me a LOT. low effort, high reward. high ROI. sacrifice a little short term awkwardness to reduce a LOT of long term suffering for me. i guess THATS what I really am butthurt about.

just write me an EMAIL saying you have my SYMPATHY. Sorry about YOUR LOSS. EXPLAIN yourself. I am very willing to listen. I want to explain myself to you and really want YOU to LISTEN.  asking somebody to be willing to listen, and also to explain themselves to you, well an explanation isnt really necessary, but its a sign of GOOD FAITH that I think is NICE when youve known somebody almost 3 years and have a Real Relationship!

She was a bad dumper. i was a pretty good dumpee, all things considered. I took it very poorly and did not cope well at ALL, completely heartbroken mess, but I was not a BAD DUMPEE by doing things like stalking, begging, pleading, harrassing, facebooking, messaging, calling, texting, manipulating. I sent a few emails. big fookin deal. then I said welp these emails arent working, time to do no contact. and I sure did. i was a total devastated mess and did not cope well with that and that is embarrassing, but BY GOD did I ACCEPT HER STUPID DECISION hahahaha.

shit i accepted it better than i did with the other women, well besides woman2012. I handled that one really well, partly because SHE handled it really well. a tip of the fedora to mlady hahahaha.

but the other women i was always scheming to Win Them Back, staying in contact with them, not understanding that Its Fookin OVER. i mean i still didnt stalk or harrass or bombard them though. ive never been a superbad dumpee. i mean i ahve had very dark thoughts but even when i was DRINKING i never DID anything worse than spit a spray of beer on a gurls shitty car once hahahaha. i was 22 hahaha.

with that woman, i just sent some long pathetic emails explaining myself and begging her to please explain herself. when i saw that wasnt working, i stopped all contact whatsoever and continued being devastated by myself hahaha.

so yeah. dont say i was a bad creepy dumpee who couldnt accept her decision! i was a GOOD dumpee!!!!!!!

SHE was a bad DUMPER!!!!!

BAD DUMPER! GOOD DUMPEE!

later

went to walmart and spent 80 damn dollars like a privileged white man. bought cheapo winter boots, winter socks, huhwhyte tshirts, black dress shirt, black sweatshirt, some groceries, all at decent price. tried on wrangler ultimate khakis in the dressing room. could not find a good fit on the stiffer ones. did not try on the softer ones. a good pair of khaki pants is hard to find hahaha. well for the time being i have some gray Dress Pants and some super casual gray cord jean type pants that look good but feel weird. more of a modern fit than a classic fit.

anyway i am being converted into a damn walmart fan. for their selection and prices. i just obviously hate the whole walmart culture, with exploited underpaid pathetic employees, and pathetic, disgusting trash customers. well the mens clothes and the SHOES selection is actually really darn good! next time i need SHOES i am going to walmart!

i got the cheapo 20 dollar winter boots. if they fall apart after 1 winter then i will get the even cheaper rubber boots and just wear warm thick socks with them.

i would not recommend walking around for hours in the boots. i mean these are not High End boots, and I think a man owes it to himself to have a good pair of High End Boots. but that is a big investment.

they had softer wrangler khakis and much stiffer wrangler khakis which were almost as stiff as damn dickies.

they had 15 dollar “faded glory” khakis which looked pretty good. this is the walmart store brand. NICE.

https://www.walmart.com/cp/mens-clothing/133197

they had nice Turtleneck shirts! i remember i always wanted one of those so i could look like a poem writing phaggot hahahaha.

http://www.artofmanliness.com/2013/12/03/beyond-sissy-resilience-on-becoming-antifragile/#at_pco=smlrebh-1.0&at_si=583f31a6a86d53f6&at_ab=per-2&at_pos=0&at_tot=3

really some decent articles here. i mean yeah ive been aware of the site for years and just wrote it off as mainstream jooish media, but i guess its really not bad, like a more masculine version of mens health or some shit.

http://www.artofmanliness.com/2011/11/21/how-to-handle-being-out-of-your-depth-6-tips-from-a-con-man/#at_pco=smlrebv-1.0&at_si=583f327af9631873&at_ab=per-2&at_pos=2&at_tot=5

hope those weird numbers in the url dont contain any DOXING information about me

anyway the lesson learned is always try damn pants on in the dressing room.

oh good god is that jonathan banks “mike” from breaking bad, as a much younger man in thsi 1990 tv show “wiseguy”? it looks like a much younger version of him, with hair.  oh god it IS. good eye on me.

its just weird watching people get older. like i see a movie like “badlands” where martin sheen is like 20 years old and quite handsome, and now hes like 75 years old now. literally an old senior geriatric man.

we all look handsome and secsy and qt when we are young. then we get old and sad and ugly and dull.

like i was pretty GOOD looking when i was young. i could have pulled a qt if i wasnt so fooked up. now i am trying to get my act together, but i am nowhere near as good looking as i used to be. but at least i am about the same weight. and cant find clothes that fit hahaha.

that woman didnt care that i did not have a great Fashion Sense! she didnt have a great fashion sense either! where fashion means spending thousands of dollars to look like a wh0re. she probably shopped at walmart too hahahaha. she didnt care that the other wimmin thought she was uncool for shopping at walmart. she never wore super tight or revealing clothes.

heh. maybe she did when i didnt see her, when she was being social with men she fancied.

who cares.  think of something else. be mindful of the present moment hehe. REFOCUS hehehe. deep breathing. radical acceptance. its over. it is what it is. GOD grant me the SERENITY NOW hahahaha.

i am just kinda disappointed that those pants at walmart just did not fit or feel or look right at all.

i guess i should be happy that i didnt just buy “my size” without trying them on!

also there were great SHOES at walmart. tons of great, cheap SHOES. like plain black shoes that I was looking for like for wearing at a job. just plain black semi-professional looking shoes but that would also be comfortable for people walking around all day. like people that work in walmarts or restaurants. people who need plain black shoes they can wear to Work and that can give their feet and legs and back good support over 10+ hours of running around slaving.

walmart. my kind of store. i did not even see what other stuff was in there, like a bank or post office or what. ok there was a shitty portrait studio, might be closed, and defeinitely a subway. maybe a bank.

way to get all autistic about WALMART. maybe i should WORK there if I LUV it so much! hahahaha.

i GUARANTEE you i could get some MJ from the blacks who work there!

most shoes at walmart dont come in boxes. that seems kinda weird. i wonder if this is how they do their EVERY DAY LOW PRICES (R) .

i am just a big fan of the wrangler brand, always have been, so i am disappointed when a pair of wrangler pants does not totally deliver, like with those disappointing stiff, weird fitting gray khakis today. also glad i did not buy them before trying them on.

walmart. so exciting.

I should have gotten one of the smart people I worked with at previous job to write me a letter of recommendation, not necess my manager, although that would have been a good idea too, but just anyone smart i was friendly with, and they could PRETEND to be a Senior Level, and just talk about how good i am. but yeah  i didnt. was too filled with panic.

yeah that art of manlieness article on fragile vs antifragile. i am very fragile and hate it, would like to be antifragile.

FRAGILE. hmm must be italian hahahahaha.

fragile = WEAK. BAD. LOSER. HORRIBLE.

was listening to this new 2016 Saor album and I think it might have An It Factor, just Goosebumps, spine chilling, Dat Feel sort of stuff. or its really good at simulating that kind of Feely AtmoBlack hahaha.

well, I have always been wanting to hear some kind of Atmospheric Black Metal that embodies The Scottish Soul, and Saor/this guy Marshall seems to be it.

its just a matter of time before we get young black metal guys who are explicitly Alt-Right.

not saying Saor is, in fact, he’s MORE likely to be an antiracist shitlib degenerate. with his shitty disgusting phaggy degen ear gauges!

BUTTTTTT I find it hard to believe a person can create Atmospheric Black Metal with this kind of NATIONALISTIC feeling, and not be somehow open to the idea that Nation Matters, Blood and Soil matters.

But he’s not “nationalistic”, im sure he would say thats horrible, he just appreciates scotland and scottish history and culture.  well thats good enough for me. and it would be enough for joos to call him racist and nationalist. so i just say embrace it whole hog buddy. laddie. BECOME WHO YOU ARE hahahaha.

of course a band like moonsorrow ALSO does epic, heathen, pagan, fairly “atmospheric” stuff, and theyve been accused of being racist nationalists, and then they were like oh no no no no we hate racists!

i want somebody to say yeah i AM a racist, or at least i AM alt right and nationalistic. so you get a band who’s not afraid to be “nationalistic” like for example vapaudenristi, drudkh, or peste noire, uhhh yeah i think they might possibly be open to the ideas of alt right. but i kinda want to see a YOUNG alt right group that is JUST forming. each of these bands are really kinda old. have been active years before there was any kind of alt right. and alt right is really YOUNG.

well so is this saor guy, he’s “only” 28 years old. younger than me hahahahaha.

not saying hes alt right. i would just really like a band that sounds like that AND is openly alt right. i would do it myself if i could write good music!!!!!

right now the most openly alt right kind of music is this vaporwave with the really 80s aesthetic, which looks promising, but i havent listened to much of it, and i prob SHOULD. there is this musician grayfield stray which talks to TRS, or this paddy tarleton guy as well. we need more alt right MUSICIANS in other words, making honestly GOOD music. but good music is HARD to make. bad music is EASY to make.

like that “it factor” you feel when you hear actually good music, or that strange feeling you feel with a special woman that you dont feel with just any body. THATS the kind of it factor you need to show in interviews to get a 25k a year job hahahahahaha.  you need to be something SPECIAL.

you need to be SUPER SPECIAL just to be an aveage 25k NORMIE. whats wrong with THAT logic?

anyway i looked at saors facebook and he seems like a good goy and took those stupid things out of his ears and is really a very handsome man who probably has a GF and he clearly luvs spending time in the beautiful nature, really quite jelly of that.

i know he sees that and he luvs it deep in the marrow of his bones, and something he cant explain, is very happy to be a Scotsman! Thats the type of stuff that we in the alt right are ALL ABOUT.

but what about us amerifats? i mean i feel a deep nostalgic connection to certain locations where i grew up, lived near, etc, that have NOTHING TO DO with the Land Of Muh Blood, which would be largely in poland somewhere. but I would luv to go there and visit that land to, and have no doubt i could establish a connection to it!

i guess he lives in glasgow? and he is pro scottish independence. what is he gonna say when glasgow gets overrun with mudslims and nonwhites?  im sure theyre already there, but im also sure its nowhere near as bad as london.

yeah i would go see that show. and he used to play shows. i think he said something like he was gonna stop cuz its too big of a pain. come on. play one show a year in the fookin highlands or some shit hahaha.

ok yeah hes YOUNG but hes been very PROLIFIC, doing shit for like the past 10 years as well, since he was SUPER young, having many other projects other than saor.

GOOD FOR HIM. GOOD GOY. have some HUHWHYTE children.

use a TAPE MEASURE to actually measure your waist, legs, chest, and neck, and write those on a small card that you can put in your wallet or Money Clip or just bring with you when you need to buy clothes. measure your waist at your Belly Button, and measure your legs from the bottom of your Dangling Nuts, down to where you want the bottom of the pants to be. for chest, measure at the widest part of your chest, probably around the Nips hahahaha.

and you can redo those whenever you lose or gain weight, really just before you go out to buy clothes.

the main thing for me is not having that kind of tape measure, but i am sure i could buy one at walmart for 2 bucks hahaha.

why doesnt trvmp pick ANN COULTER for some sort of job. she would be great. shes probably the best woman out there. if he needs a woman somewhere in there he should pick ann coulter. just wanted to make it clear that i dont hate all women, i like ann coulter.

2016-11-30-19_40_13-2016-11-30-19_38_53-cardamom-1-0-02_0-04-no-limit-holdem-replay-13404437

hehehehe i win such big potz when i get quads hahahahaha

annoying muslim phd professor b1tch wearing hijab and kvetching about islamophobia and the terrorism of white supremacists hahahaha hahaha

oh yeah i got those ridiculous winter boots at walmart…..ok i already discussed that. i mean i dont know why that makes me so happy hahaha but i will take it.

am i spending money in a bipolar, manic impulsive way? i mean i have been spending a lot of money lately.

i mean i am privileged to have savings to spend. normies dont have this. in fact its this savings which has enabled me to become a damn FRAGILE NEET NEVERGF LOSER.

shitlibs always use the word “FOLKS”. black folks, white folks, muslim folks, it sounds stupid hahahaha.

maybe i wont bring the coffee on the first day because they might be anti coffee. that would be pretty gay tho.

heh. watching bill o reilly and he just showed 10 seconds of richard spencer and npi and oreilly called them wacko white supremacists that are just like louis farakhan, idiots saying hitler stuff, of course showed the part where the audience was roman saluting, and oreilly was like these nutty white power racist extremists.

i mean did i really expect msm to treat spencer any differently? no not really hahaha. i just sorta like seeing spencer on msm news. and im sure he does too. but its the wrong damn message! hes getting LIED ABOUT! slandered! libeled!

plus this isnt gonna convert anyone. the fox news watchers will just forget about spencer, or they will believe hes a natzi.

the people who are interested in this stuff ARE GONNA FIND IT. they know how to use the god damn INTERNET hahahaha. im not sure we need to recruit anyone. well, except for rich powerful and or successful people. just like big winners in life. turn THEM from shitlib to alt right. turn them from libertardian or basic bitch fox news conservative to alt right.

wow this fruit of the loom 5 dollar black fleece sweater is very nice hahaha.

dec 1

heh. when it comes to thanksgiving dinners and huge political divides within families and friends, its always the shitlib hillary voters that are all butthurt little crybabies about it. but thats because they LOST. so they are justified in being angry? justified in closing the door on their family? because you cant be in the same family as a bunch of RACIST, SEXIST, HATEFUL WHITE MALES WHO OPPRESS THE WORLD?

thats what it boils down to. it’s amazing that we’ve come to the point where people cant even think of saying, yeah, i admit it, i’m kinda racist, AND THATS NOT A BAD THING.

instead, its THE WORST THING IMAGINABLE. if you are a racist, then you are LITERALLY HITLER because HITLER and the NOTSEES are racist. therefore dapper richard spencer is a nazi, trvmp is a nazi, all trvmp voters are nazis, and you should block them out of your family. and say omg i cant believe my uncle/cousin whatever is a trvmp support racist. TYPICAL WHITE MALE, insecurity and fear. well, at least they’ll be in the minority in 50 years, and the next generations will have it better once this Nazi Race disappears. this is literally what many WHITES think!!!!!

and thats what made me an alt right pro white basically white nationalist hahahaha. i could NOT support people who implicitly supported the disappearance of muh race. whatever you want to call that disappearance. genocide? certainly a gradual, generational death. extinction, extinguishment, snuffing.

no its NOT natural selection because how can you believe whites are not fit enough to SURVIVE?

http://www.metalstorm.net/pub/interview.php?interview_id=745

decent saor interview

http://paganstorm.altervista.org/pagan-storm-intervista-saor/

another one

there are some boring worthless interviews out there too

there should be interviews with people making 25k a year on how they became such an extraordinary person who acheived this extraordinary achievement. or getting a gf hahaha. there should be zines and youtubes and stuff about that. oh yeah theres plenty of pick up artist stuff out there for wannabe negros who want to bang sluts, but not a lot on How To Stop Being A Neet, and how to Start Being a Normie nonneet nonnevergf evergf.

That’s where I come it. That’s my value add. That’s WHY YOU NEED ME hahahaha. pay me. 25k a year. 12.50 an hour. i’d be happy to resolve your issue. serve you. add value.

interview normies on how to become a normie hahaha.

get haircut tomorrow, kinda looking forward to that.

terrible about studying my shit for start of job. not really sure how to study. how do you study something you cant see. i need to SEE shit visually. well thats my WEAKNESS and FRAGILITY and why i am a neet who is so hard to find a job. because i cant just talk to a person on the phone, have them describe something ive never encountered or seen or used, and then fix it for them without ever seeing it, without ever have seeing it in the past. look for this part. where? well, its somewhere in there. look on all sides of the thing. what am i looking for? not sure what it looks like. tell me what you do see. welp lets try them all then, i think these 3 things might be the part were looking for. i uhhh havent done this in a year so i cant remember what the part looks like, and theres no documentation of it, and i cant ask anyone for help, and theres nothing on the internet because its an in house thing, and theres nothing on our in house intranet.

nobody told me the real normie world would be like that! it is like a NEVERENDING final exam filled with trick questions, long story problems, and essay questions, where you get bitched at every time you get 1% wrong, and you dont have anywhere to turn to for help except a book that reads like it was written by chinese joos! and people bitch at you for being dumb because you cant make sense out of it. all day every day. 50 hours a week. the weirdest most unexpected shit happening, feel like your brain is going to explode at all times.

then YOU explode and start punching people in the face, grabbing b1tches by the pvssy, shouting n1993r n199er n1993r and get fired hahaha.

chill out with the ff piano collections.

dream and yearn for the day you might find an MJ connection hahahahaha and 420 blaze it ph4ggot once again.

ff10 music is prob best imo hahahaha

no its just the one im most familiar with.

holy shit that is so relaxing. listen to this shit and chill the fook out. sm0ke mj if you got it. i dont care if its nonwhite. japanese are only acceptable nonwhites. also this shit is very white inspired. this is japanese paying homage to whites. YOUR WELCOME.

is it paranoid of me to think that when someone says “welcome” instead of “youre welcome” in like a Work Chat, esp with you asking them for help, that that means they think youre stupid and you are wasting their precious time with your stupid questions? so they show that by not even taking the time to fully say YOURE welcome?

or am i paranoid and overanalyzing shit again?

when i used to get overwhelmed and confused at the complex shit at my job…..suddenly i lost my ability to understand even SIMPLE things. i would get confused by SIMPLE things that I used to understand. lost ability to understand all nuance. i needed EVERYTHING explained like I was 5. this sucks.

like explain to me the difference between scots and irish hahaha. besides the obvious “answer” that one comes from scotland and one comes from ireland. well what about scots irish? ulster scots? the picts? the gaels? the scots language? the gaelic language? viking/scand influence?

explain all THAT shit to me like im 5 hahaha.

the gig economy. it has NO positives. NONE. it simply means you cant go to one job for 40 hours a week and make a living that way. you have to cobble together 100 different freelance jobs with no schedule or predictability just so you can make 25k a year. you have less time for yourself and your family and your race. and your god hahaha. and your CHILDREN.

its just like these sharing services are not good at all. it simply means a normie person cant AFFORD a car or a bike or a tiny apartment.  or anything. you just rent EVERYTHING and never own it. because ownership is what white male oppressor capitalist nazis do, maannnnnnnn. its BAD to own shit. its SLAVERY. yeah well so is making so little money you have to rent your damn clothes hahahaha.

im renting this 12 dollar poplin shirt from walmart. im renting my SHOES from walmart for 2 dollars a month hahaha.

i mean yeah with CARS, i hate CARS, and if you could get away with not needing to use a car, fine. but you need a car to drive to your job 6 days a week and then Chores on the 7th. renting a car would be more expensive than owning a car.

i mean thats how these shitlibs, whites included, view the White Race: WHITES = NAZIS. Similar to how people hated the Germans after ww2, and now germans are cucky and pathetic and opening the door to their extinction. same thing is happening with whites in general. oh whites did the holocaust. whites did slavery. whites did all this imperial colonialism shit. whites do sweatshops in china. whites start all the wars in the world. whites are nazis. whites are oppressors. whites NEED to step down, whites NEED to be stopped. im white and i acknowledge whites need to be stopped.

that is the Root Belief these people believe, and I couldnt disagree with it more, which is mainly why I became a White Nationalist hahahahahaha.

You know, I might even allow a maximum of 10% nonwhites in my White Nation! the most talented, useful, productive, peaceful, best of nonwhites, and they would have to Assimilate fully into white culture. and breed with each other only, not whites.

then what about the kids. i mean one day some white slut is inevitably gonna have a brown baby.

well i guess as long as the percentage is kept to no higher than 10%, it shouldnt really be a problem.

how about 5% hahahaha.

we can keep the joos out altogether because they are the most antiwhite race there ever was or will be.

joos are the real fooking cancer on the human race, not whites.

its not really a culture of critique as much as it is a culture of subversion, poisoning, and destruction. a cancer culture.

they are by far my least favorite race and i still dont HATE them in the way shitlibs say racists HATE people. i will never personally encourage violence against joos. i just would like them out of my country, in my ideal world.

individually i can talk to and get along with joos. but as a whole, they gotta go. hey they can have a nice life in israel. its like a fooking resort country. very high quality of life in israel. great health care, total first world country. good jobs, good gun laws, hahahaha. just go to fooking israel. PLEASE. and fook these dual citizenship joos. go to israel and STAY there.

because DA JOOZ are the reason i cant get a woman or a job. they have turned all women into disgusting cvm guzzling wh0res. hahahaha.

well, they HAVE encouraged promiscuity and degeneracy and casual sex and pornography and sexualization of everything!

 

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DONT WALK ALL OVER A DOORMAT AND THEN COMPLAIN ABOUT HIM BEING A DOORMAT

IT TAKES TWO TO MAKE A DOORMAT.

all these women complaining about nice guy doormats. YES I AGREE it sucks to have people THROWING themselves asking to be WALKED ON, but THAT DOESNT MEAN YOU HAVE TO DO IT!!!!! Use it as a teaching moment to leave them better than you found them. say, stand up man! Dont let people walk all over you! and feel SHAME on Yourself if YOU ever walk on people!

GOOD WOMEN DONT WALK ON MEN!

DONT WALK ALL OVER A DOORMAT AND THEN COMPLAIN ABOUT HIM BEING A DOORMAT!

BETTER TO LIGHT A CANDLE THAN CURSE THE DARKNESS!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i never walked on people. i wouldnt feel RIGHT walking on people. id say, this is fookin retarded, get up man, im not gonna WALK on you, have some damn self respect man!

yep so reading the controversial stuff from march 2015 (1.5 years ago hahaha) its obvious i should have

  1. just left it all alone, which i OBVIOUSLY couldnt do, so therefore my best option was
  2. just Confess and Blurt It Out right then and there. STOP WAITING FOR THE PERFECT MOMENT to talk to her because she wasnt gonna take it. the best I could have done is send her a one page email stating all the facts in as unemotional a way as possible and say, welp heres the explanation for all this. now just reject me already and lets move on with our lives and not have too much butthurt.

 

 

heh i kinda wish That Woman was all sad because YES IT IS, I GET IT, that losing a friend is HARD, even if you arent losing a Lover. So I wanted to know that she was UPSET to lose me as a friend, because that means i MEANT something to her as a friend, which i was PRETTY SURE I did. And she meant something to ME as a friend too! and then shit CHAAAAANNNGGGGED!!!!!! How is this SO HARD to understand! FEELINGS CHANGE!!!!!! Just Friends shit can CHANGE to wanting to be more than friends! its not ULTERIOR MOTIVES!!!!!

i guess i was/am trying to convince myself i didnt have ulterior motives. becuase i wouldnt like ulterior motives either. but deep down i guess i know it wasnt ulterior motives.

but i can see how you might think its ulterior motives, and i really want to convince you it wasnt, because i know how bad ulterior motives are.

 

hehehehe

 

i mean this stuff HAPPENS, its not just ulterior motives. but do WOMEN ever get feelings for their GUY friends, or it it always the other way around? i dunno. knowing women and how stupid and ridiculous they are, they probably dont, hahahahaha. why not? because they are meeting fun, interesting, secsy, eligible NEW guys ALL THE TIME. just a revolving door of neverending new guys. never any need to RETHINK anything because there is always someone NEW,

women are CONSTANTLY meeting new guys. men meet like one new woman a year. women meet a new guy EVERY DAY.

shit yeah men are more easily replaceable. its just a fact of life. get used to it.

yeah well that has been hard for me. i hate being replaced hahahaha. it takes 2 years for me to get over it every time.

and now all these people are piling on the man as the bad guy here, because he was friends with her, and as soon as she says no i wont fook you, he DUMPS her and turns his back. its all about SECS and FOOKING to these women, they dont even know what LUV is, and they cant understand that feelings happen sometimes, and its really hard to turn off feelings, and sometimes you need to be away from the person in order to get over your feelings, because they dont have feelings for you! and they call that dumping your friend because she didnt want to fook you. way to totally miss the point in the most jooish way possible. its like they never had unrequited luv for a friend before hahahaha. and they probably HAVENT! men understand what this is like………women do not.

yes they are like a separate species! damn! they dont know any of our feels and we dont know any of their feels!

good thing she hurts! but i GUARANTEE SHE will get over him a LOTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT quicker than he gets over her! it will take him two YEARS, it will take her 2 months, tops.

interviews monday tuesday AND wednesday. that is a first. 3 interviews in 3 days. i mean how can I NOT get a Job Offer pretty soon? hehehehe.heh.

probably because i have Stopped Trying on the interviews. but I still dont do markedly WORSE. but i am remarkably not self aware hahahaha. i write about myself all day and im still not self aware hehe.

sheeeit back in march 2015 i was smokin MJ regularly. the best thing was to just put it in a regular cigarette. take out maybe half of the filter. and then you could easily smoke those outdoors.

heh. you know why i get jealous when you go hang out and meet all these new guys? because one of these new guys youre gonna think is more interesting and secsy than me and i dont want u to leave me!

i mean people can do what they WANT. no ones entitled to anything. just saying its god damn competitive AF out there, when your GF is meeting all these hot new guys all the time, and you are pretty average at best. hows she NOT gonna leave you for one of them, when you take all this extra effort to appreciate?

i have Being Dumped issues because women have had NO PROBLEM dumping me when the time came. showing me EXACTLY how much value they thought I had As A Mate. NO PROBLEM replacing me with a Sexier Man. Doesnt mean those men were Essentially Superior Humans to Me, in GODS Eyes…………but the women I was trying to get with sure thought so!!!!!!!

so hell yeah i have ISSUES about that! anyone would!!!!!

not saying i agree with this, but wouldnt it be an incentive for the state to legalize MJ if there were HUGE TAX REVENUE they could get from it? like if people make more money with it being illegal (police, law enforcement, pharm, alcohol, lawyers, jails), then WHY NOT add SO MUCH TAX to it that the state would make more money off the TAX than they would off all these other things. which means it would have to be a damn high tax. like maybe 20% hahahaha.

basically, how much tax would be ENOUGH for State Govt to approve legal MJ?

i mean i would be willing to pay a HUGE tax.

now im DEFINITELY not saying that that tax money would be used wisely. roads would still be falling apart, schools would still be shitty, infrastructure would still be shitty, there would still be no jobs, and all the money would just go to state workers and politicians salaries and pensions hahahaha, even if it brought in in a trillion bux a year. but shouldnt that be enough to convince THEM?

how about a 100% tax rate. buy a $100 bag of MJ for $200 and $100 goes to the state. how could the state not want that.

hahahahahaha

so i will be speaking to the director of IT tomorrow, he has a very impressive linkedin and has accomplised 14880000000000000000000000 times the things i have at around the same age i am.

they mentioned another guy would be there too, they just mentioned a first name that sounded very informal, i looked up people named this at the company, and thats the CEO’s first name. he goes by this informal kind of nickname. he has a PHD from CAMBRIDGE. I mean thats intimidating as FOOK. do I really NEED all that? i am just trying to make 12 dollars an hour here. you dont need to have your cambridge phd ceo fooking talk to me.

oh i bet he has a wife and children too. and gets respect from people. well hes EARNED it!

the company is probably making at least 30 million a year in revenue and they want ME to speak to the CEO. i mean ive seen this before, where there were RIDICULOUSLY high up people in the interview for basically an entry level position.

trying to do some research on company, interview prep right now, printing shit. gonna run out of this “new” black print cartridge i just bought like a month ago. lucky if a print cart can last for 10 interviews hehehe.

right now posting some stuff from april 2015, when i was still talking to her. it is sad. real sad. i am very embarrassed and ashamed of how cowardly and weak and stupid i was. shes not a bad person. i wasnt trying to play mind games with her, but im sure i ended up confusing her anyway. she was having a tuff time in life. the best thing i could have done was be direct. and i wasnt. you think she was mature enough to handle that at 24 years old? come on.

i mean i didnt want to manipulate her either. i was just SO DESPERATE to hang out with her, and she just kept avoiding it. so why didnt i say, well she OBVIOUSLY doesnt want to hang out! so stop bugging her, OR JUST SAY WHAT I WANT TO SAY AND BE DONE WITH IT.

so it is painful seeing myself acting so idiotically against this poor little confused gurl.

but i was confused too. i wasnt trying to manipulate or control her. i just want to hang out. and i just couldnt accept reality though.

i wish i had the BALLS just to say what I was really thinking though. just be a MAN and be like LISTEN. HERES THE THING. I’ve started to like like you over the past couple months. this affects our rel and we HAVE to deal with it.

not cutesy bullshit like i missssssssss you and lets hang out soon bla bla bla.

I WAS ACTING LIKE A WOMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

so yeah hope i dont have too many throwback posts like that, becuase i need to move on from that. i mean i learned my lesson and hopefully i wont do the same shameful shit again.

which isnt to say shes blameless. she could have done better too.

but i was no innocent either.

but im not a bad guy, shes not a bad person either, we were just two decent people who used to be good friends, both acting very weakly and cowardly, and the entire rel crumbling and dying as a result, and it was just SAAADDDDDDD AS FOOOOOOOK.  Like i say im not ANGRY at her, i haven’t really EVERY gotten ANGRY except BEFORE it ended. After it ended, I’ve just been SADDDDDDD AS FOOOOOOOOK. Cuz it really IS!

talking to the CEO. WHY would they throw out this second name, you’ll be talking to director if IT john kimball, and also billy. who the fook is billy. (not actual name.)

Why not say Billy Smith, CEO of the 500-employee company??????

so that means the job pays at least 40k right?

36k is National Average. i mean even that is a little HIGH for me, thinking well ive settled for 12 an hour, no WAY anyone would ACTUALLY pay me 18 an hour!

maybe the CEO just sits in on SOME interviews for FUN when he has the time and is not having power lunches or doing photo ops. he has a free hour, they’re doing an interview, whoopee, might as well drop in and terrify the Supplicating Dogsbody for a 12 dollar an hour job when I make 200k a year. I make TEN TIMES what he does.

It’s just not a WHITE thing to do to LORD your influence over other white men like that. And I’m pretty sure the guy is white. CEO with a phd in engin from cambridge, about 65 years old. gotta be white.

so she was just an immature little gurl, didnt know any better, dindu nuffin. yeah but she had like 5 years more relship and secs experience than me!

but THATS AS A WOMAN! WOMEN dont do any ACTUAL WORK or EFFORT or TRYING in relships! they dont learn any actual SKILLS like communication, empathy, sympathy, kindness, compassion, love, etc hahahahaha.

they can have 10 years of relship experience and still be CHILDREN!!!

anyway. interview tomorrow. another humiliation hahaha. no really MOST of the people ive talked to have been NICE.

but yeah i am ashamed i didnt do better. i really shat the bed. she kinda shat the bed too, but that much is on her. but I shat the bed too and I am ashamed of it and never want to make the same mistake again.

i dont think not shitting the bed would have made her Luv me…..but it prob would have saved some pain and butthurt from The End.

Shit just hire a shrink EVERY DAMN TIME you want to End A Rel. because you are gonna be so emotionally compromised you’ll fook it up every damn time. so just pay a shirnk 50 bucks to do it for you.

i just wish i had not been such a weak, pathetic, stupid bitch. i wish i could look back and say i was proud of how i acted. that i handled this like a grown, honorable, respectable, mature white man. and that i didnt act like a little girl.

i mean i wasnt Abusive or Creepy so I guess that is good, but I was pushy and needy and immature like a little girl. not my finest hour hahaha.

shaved face with actual razor today instead of electric shaver, its an interesting alternative and prob a closer shave.

oh well. im going to interviews. IM TRYING. IM TRYING. IM MAKING AN EFFORT hahahahaha. im not just sitting here like a lazy negro. i have done 486 applications and 27 interviews. and still cant get a 24k job with health care hahahaha.

i dunno. it just chaps my ass that 25 year old women arent mature enough to do work in a relationship and communication, but they ARE mature enough to get masters degrees and make 60k a year, and i am not mature enough to hold down a 30k a year job without Flaming Out and Breaking Down under the pressure.

really grinds my gears hahahaha.

this IT Ninja I am interviewing with has been working 20 years in IT, much of it higher level / management, but didnt finish his bachelors degree until he was successful in his career, in something COMPLETELY unrelated and useless. I mean he is the type they make MBA In IT Degrees for so he can be a good CIO.

but he probably makes too much money to want to do that, he can always get good paying work, he knows he’s got Valuable Skills. i bet he’s married as fook hahaahahahaha. i mean he’s been very gainfully employed for the past TWENTY YEARS and sounds like a charismatic, can-do guy, judging by the 10 diff recommendations from people on his linkedin. ideally i would do this, but i cant really. get linkedin recs i mean.

anyway i have to drive past HER workplace in order to get to interview/workplace tomorrow. and what if she were outside the office smoking a cig or something. well she probably quit smoking cigs, like a responsible successful person.

i should stop attacking her, because she is broken hearted that she lost a Dear Friend, ie Me! it HURTS to lose a friend!

hehehehe tell me about it. hey i lost a friend too.

oh so youre hurting? not my problem. go to a shrink. hehehehehehe.

i also hate reddit for assuming that 25 year old women are not mature enough to be responsible for their decisions and lives. and for being against getting married young and having children young. and that you are only mature once you hit 30.

yeah well this may be the case with a lot of people, but my god they are REALLY against people getting married before like age 25 at the absolutely earliest. especiall for women. men dont really matter. but women need to get all that EXPERIENCE and have all those ADVENTURES and make all those MISTAKES.  youre only ready to marry once youre 30 and have taken 30 cox.

heh. watching a ridic old sherlock holmes episode and its the guy from raiders of the lost ark, the nervous creepy nazi “toht”. wearing a ridiculous wig. is that the same guy? kinda looks like him.  i have never seen him in anything else.

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt2043454/?ref_=nm_flmg_act_16

yes its the same guy, ronald lacey.

ANYWAY. he died in 1991 of CANCER.  and had to use a colostomy bag since he was like 20 years old. well he still managed to have at least two children.

yeah thats the thing. its a REAL MIXED BAG, age 25 is, for women. some are mature, some are not. but i think they should be more mature than immature. i mean yeah I was immature then, and now, but I SHOULDNT HAVE BEEN. Thats WAY too old to be immature.

yeah well i had never done this before, never had this experience, never fell in luv with a friend, i didnt think i ever would. so i guess that thing wasnt INGRAINED in me by age 25! like i think everything is INGRAINED by age 25. you can still do plnety of learning and changing after that. thank god.

so….you can get a shady doctor to sign a MMJ rec, BUT the state licensing agency doesnt need to APPROVE it and send you your state approved card! actually the state DENIES about 20% of the applications they get every year! but why?????? do some doctors have a reputation as shoddy? probably. under investigation by LE? probably.

but dont they just raid the dispensaries? do they really care about doctors? ive only heard ONE news story in the past 5 years or so about a doctor getting charged with MJ card fraud.

OR should i complain about Severe Pain next time i see my regular doc, THEN get recrods printed, take those to MMJ doctor?

should i be trying to Scam The System like this? doesnt that LOOK BAD for MMJ in general, and also for Legal MJ in general?

hey just charge 100% tax and legalize it! legalize, tax, and regulate it, oh great state hahahahaha.

i mean honestly its a great safety net. i could have the Worst Day At Work of Angry Customers Demanding Explanations, and it would be easier to take knowing I had some MJ waiting at home for me!

i honestly LUV it the way i luv a waifu. it is one of the best REWARDS for me. like giving a dog a treat or giving a kid candy/ice cream. or give the normie his cuddly gf. give me some mj.

i also wish i hadnt overdone the drinking, so that i could go out with normies drinking, as a way to Team Build. you will have an easier time at Work if you go out drinking with your Team, otherwise you look like the Office Weirdo, and they are gonna try to Force You Out and Bullycide you hahahahaha.

if they REALLY have me talk to the CEO of a 300 person, 30 million a year company, i am gonna write 6000000 words on it hahahaha.

when you start a rel, start a FUND and put 50$ in it, so you can pay a shrink to facilitate the breakup. PREPAY for your inevitable breakup hahahaha. shit ill pay for it, just like a man paying for dinner. it’s well worth the 50$ to me. maybe even 100$. two sessions.

 

she makes 100k, he makes 35k, they are both 28 yo hahahahahahaha. look at this fookin normie making 35k at age 28 hahahahaha!!!!!!!!!!!!

what about men who get divorced at age 30, then dont date again till they are 45, and find that all the 30-45 women are HORRRRRRRRIBLE. all the ego of a 25 year old but none of the hotness to back it up. also more kids, more cox, more exes, more crazy. i dont want to date 35 year olds! except maybe for casual secs. but you cant have a FAMILY with 35 year old women!

i just worry i will never get that close to THAT high quality of a woman again and will always have to settle for LESS.

 

heres some great drama. I dont think he should GHOST her thought. just be like wow im really shocked you had an abortion, i dont think i can marry a baby murderer, or, maybe i can, lets talk about this.

i mean yeah i would be shocked too. but its probably better than cheating. maybe. its still pretty damn bad. i am very anti abortion, more than averaege.

also this woman is super retarded because she refuses to believe she was being dishonest. does not understand the concept of dishonesty by omission.

hmm maybe thats what i did to HER. lying by omission. i wasnt telling her about this big important thing.

well it all comes back to “I was PLANNING on telling her when we HUNG OUT because thats a BIG CONVERSATION that you cant have via text, needs to be done IN PERSON.”

which is true, BUTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTt

what i LEARNED was,

when they keep AVOIDING you for X months,

then YES, you DO tell them the big thing via text, because your rel is pretty much OVER anyway.

oct 24

posted a response on despair forums for the first time in months, felt like interacting with someone hhehe. a man suffering after a bad breakup, where she blamed him, said its all your fault, and blocked him for being smothering, when he wasnt. that has got to be hard to hear. i imean THAT WOMAN never accused me of being smothering, but i knew she was thinking it, and i know i can be, and i have tried NOT to be.

had interview with the healthcare place today, went ok, was nervous, always nervous, anticipating crucifixion. i asked whos this “billy” guy, is the CEO really gonna be here, and they said yeah he likes to sit in on a lot of interviews, but he had to go to a last minute business lunch, sorry he couldnt be here. I said thats fine, i am always happy to come in and talk to him later, or on the phone. but yeah. that WAS the CEO. very hands on CEO. damn.

talked to it director, and there were 2 women in there as well. kind of a low pressure interview. there was an 8 minute wonderlic Intelligence Test before everything started. i only got through 20 questions. sheeeeeeit.

i forgot to ask how many people were interviewing. i did ask about salary and did not say another place was muh number 1. i demonstrated knowledge of the company and said welp i dont have tons of working experience with SQL and C++ but I coursework in them and got all A’s. i like to take initiative to teach myself the things i need to know. i use google, do due diligence, and ask intelligent questions.

i said WELP i looked at glasdoor, says 35k is the average, but i’m looking to come in well below average because i am entry level, i made X at previous job, and i am looking for 14 to 16 here, but very flexible. i want to be in your ballpark. they talked about how great the benefits were and how there are 19 paid days off a year.

i mean it looks pretty good. would not mind getting this job. this one is prob the new number 1 anyway. close to home, 15 an hour, benefits, M-F days, growing company, award winning workplace.

also i went in there and saw that a woman i used to work with at the Living Hell Previous Job was there. she was always super nice and I was nice to her and helped her when she was new. and she appreciated my help. although I think I shocked her once with my filthy mouth, hahahaahaha. but i think she forgot about that. anyway she seemed happy to see me and i was nice to her today. also sent her an invite on linkedin today while everything was fresh. she was/is a nice sweet person and thats all that matters to me. also she was a smart good worker and deserved a better job. so nice to see she got a job here. i am sure it is at least a little better than where we were.

anyway ideally she can say oh yeah he’s great, he’s super nice AND super smart. i mean i had a good repoire with her and liked helping her. i mean i liked helping people in general and our people needed a LOT of help because they were constantly being THROWN TO THE LIONS, not just the wolves, but the goddamn LIONS, they needed a lot of help, and there was not enough of a supply of help. so i took up the cross and helped people off the clock quite a bit.

anyway maybe thats a SIGN FROM GOD that THIS IS THE ONE, that this nice woman works there.

or maybe its just the 27th rejection hahahahaha. life goes on, time marches on.

way to email me paypal and amazon letting me know my password has been stolen and that i should change it hahahaha.

anyway. yeah i would totally take this job. its close and doesnt seem too bad. i could be somewhat proud of working there. there might be some help desk work but as long as its less than 4 hours of inbound calls a day, that would be ok.

i drove by the place where i heard That Woman was working. i said IM NOT GONNA LOOK AT IT but i failed in that and instead blatantly Rubbernecked at the parking lot looking for her car. I didnt see it but there were a lot of cars and i was going 40 mph. i swore that if i drove by again after the interview i would not look at the building or parking lot. that i would physically block it with my hand.

instead i just took another road to go home.

if i get this job i am willing to do whatever it takes to not look at that building or parking lot hahahaha.

i cant believe the CEO is so HANDSY that he likes to do so many interviews. he has a phd in engin from cambridge. did he publish any papers? how much money did he make as an Executive Business Consultant, and then as CEO of a health care company? how fookin rich is he? is he british? probably. why would he come from UK to here? I would rather be born in the UK hahahahahahaha well maybe. things are shitty over there too. but you are closer to Yurop and the Home of the White Race. i dunno. i just dont trust people who leave their whole FAMILY an OCEAN away unless they are nonwhite immigrants coming from the third world to the first world.

also i guess he is very hands on in the technical projects. GREAT. i mean you are like 70 years old man. go traveling. visit your family. youve made MILLIONS of dollars. the man is a MULTIMILLIONAIRE and I have to talk to HIM for a 15 dollar an hour job hahahahaha.

well they didnt say. i know youre SUPPOSED to get them to say a number first. im honestly too desperate for that, plus I already had a range in mind: 14 to 16. let them know i looked at glassdoor. maybe they’ll reject me because i looked too desperate because i said a number first hahahahaha.

they responded yes that range is in the ballpark.

i asked them about Growth in the company. they said they were growing SO MUCH they plan to DOUBLE within 3 years. they are growing so fast they can barely keep up. INTERESTING.

sent thank you email hours ago. damn.

interview tomorrow for Bank job, in Records. Bank Records. 12.50 an hour. this company is also a Best Workplace To Work. I should just apply to places on those list. as determined by large local paper. anyway. I semi respect this bank as a good employer and would be happy to take their job too. their hr person impressed me by contacting me about this job, after i was rejected for the tech job at this bank. i mean that was just good guy greg stuff. i usually hate women, HR, and companies, but she really impressed me here. i mean she didnt have to call ME. she coulda called any of the other 1000000000000000 people that had applied for that job in the past day, when i had applied like 8 months ago.  it shows they actually LOOK at those old applications and dont just throw them in the memory hole. the whole company seems above board and ethical and not run by sneaky semites.

and then on wed i have the final interview of week. not gonna get a ton of sleep before that one. early in the morning. part time job. but it pays more per hour than the FT job tomorrow. but that FT has decent, ok, average benefits.

WHEN YOU’VE BEEN DOWN AS LONG AS ME, MEDIOCRE LOOKS PRETTY DAMN GOOD!!!

like honestly a 12 dollar an hour FT job with benefits is nothin special, which all 21 year old college grads should aim for, not a 35 year old man!

i mean how can you raise a family on that? how can you attract a wife with that?

you mean youre 35 and havent found a wife and started a family yet? hahahahaha.

BABY STEPS.

get this job, then go out with slutz from okcupid hahahaha and try to find a wife.

reddit thinks that you shouldnt date men who even use the WORD “SLUTS”. at age 26 you should be more mature!

hehehe what about if you are 35 hahahahahahhahahahha

no i call women SLUTS every day. it simply means you are too promiscuous, your number is too high, you dont have enough REVERENCE for the secs act and who you do it with.

its a nihilistic culture of death. you dont have enough respect for life. at BEST, you are DANGEROUSLY immature. thats what SLUT is shorthand for. someone i only want to use for short term pleasure. never more.

sheeeeit i mean i dunno. i pretty much HAVE to go to some stupid website if i want to meet new women. whether its a WIFE, or its a short term Meat Hole hahahahahaha. a Slut.  ok how about i LOOK for a good wife type woman, then if i meet her and she turns out to be a slut, then uhhhhh let her do what sluts do, and forget about marrying her hehehe.

i just yeah. i shouldnt hate how women can be immature and get a man, but men have to be mature to get a woman. because thats just natural. thats how god made us. uterus power. but plenty of immature men get women too. you dont need to be mature, you just need to be MANLY.

 

look at this nice young man. he wants to dump his GF, but he knows she’ll be devastated, so he wants to let her down as easily as possible. he doesnt hate her, and really doesnt want to add insult to injury. or add injury to injury hahahahahaha. so he asks for advice how how to dump as gently as possible. what a nice young man!

hey i CAME CLOSE to having a real rel with a woman. technically I HAVE had actual real rels with women. just nothing that involved mating. then it was a clusterfook. they only wanted negros and men who acted like negros to fook them hahahahhaa no thats a lie. woman2012 didnt want negros. That Woman didnt ALWAYS and ONLY want negros.

basically dump someone the way you would want to be dumped. be nice……but dont be so nice that you give them false hope that its not really over. be as nice as you can in stating that it’s for sure over.

yeah this is a hard thing to talk about.  i guess i can’t blame anybody for being bad at it! let alone a cowardly little woman! shit i prob wouldnt have the balls to do it!

or when other women dumped me, they tried to be nice about it, and that led to me not fully understanding, thinking i could get them to change their mind, talk them out of it. so yeah its hard to be nice but also be VERY FIRM.

so spend 50 bucks to have a shrink do it. totally worth it. they can get the message across in a firm way with NO ambiguity. i will do this every time i have to dump someone hahahaha. or if i think a woman wants to dump me, i will hire the shrink FOR her to dump me.

this is a GREAT fookin idea. why doesnt EVERYONE do this? shrinks are everywhere, even the middle of nowhere. i mean they are nothing but MSW social workers, and these are a dime a dozen.

heh. i wonder if wimmin who have MSW degrees are better at dumping their boifrans. or better communicators. or more mature. or better Conflict Revolvers. I wonder!

or do you have to be a LICENSED or CLINICAL social worker.

 

101 IQ / MONOGAMY IS MISOGYNY

0130

yeah buddy.

today i learned to never put bananas in the freezer to make them last longer. and then take a banana out and put it in the fridge overnight to “defrost” it, and it should be Good 2 Go the next day. NO IT WILL NOT. it will have brown skin and the banana inside will be TOTAL MUSH.

you can keep bananas in the fridge but never put them in the freezer ever.

when you have secs or even just cuddle with someone, you start to feel a CLOSENESS with them. IMHO this is Nature TELLING you something, and it is BAD to ignore it. say, oh, thats just an ARCHAIC ARTIFACT our brains have not evolved out of YET, but we SHOULD, because we dont live in caves any more, and casual sex is fun! so when you get feelings from casual sex, just be logical, say well i dont even KNOW this person, and realize you have to reprogram your brain so that it gets used to casual sex. our brains didnt evolve for casual sex….YET, but we can push them that way!

yeah i dont think we CAN or SHOULD.

i mean casual sex is like the root cause of sluts. because sluts think they can have secs with whomever, whenever, and its all just fun. if thats not CASUAL secs i dont know what is!

so yeah i am  an (anti) CASUAL SECS CRUSADER!!!!!!!!!!

well i had my own bad habits too. so maybe  deserve no better than a reformed slut. yeah i guess i could lower muh standards and live with that hahaha. so long as she was TRULY reformed!!!! and said yes i am honestly ashamed of what i did, heres why its wrong, and i will never go back to that way of life again!

because i feel the same way about my degeneracy. yeah it was a phase, but it was a BAD phase and im ashamed of it and never want to go back to it! and i dont think it was NECESSARY! i wish i had NEVER gone through it! i regret it! i didnt learn anythign or become a better person because of it. i wish i had avoided it altogether.

and so i think a truly reformed and rehabilitated slut will feel the same way about her slut period. wishes she had NEVER BEEN a slut, just like i wish i had NEVER BEEN a degen.

https://voat.co/v/relationships/comments/803861

i forgot that voat is a thing, it looks and works like reddit but is less degen and antimale and antiwhite and sjw-y. better smarter people in other words. i THINK.  it doesnt have nearly as many users but i am CAUTIOUSLY optimistic it will survive. basically a reddit alternative to smart elite 115 IQ people like us who cringe in disgust at reddit hahahaha.

edit: since it is such a small community, there are not a lot of comments, and this damn degen polyamorist woman keeps showing up more than i would like with her degenerate point of view. and is not getting downvoted into oblivion like she should be hahahaha. so this particular subverse may be too tolerant of degeneracy.

http://www.gotoquiz.com/how_much_of_a_cuck_are_you_1

https://www.voat.co/v/relationships/comments/292352

guy in a rel with a depressed gf who refuses to get help

oh well why doesnt he just dump her because its never worth working on anything with someone.

that or its his fault she is derpressed and he needs to step his game up and work harder.

hahahaha.

no they advise that she needs to get into counseling, he will probably need to make the appointment for her to get her started, and that if she refuses to cooperate, thats a legit dealbreaker.

heh. i am so CUCKED that if a gurl shows interest in other guys, i will say, ok, go hang out with him, go fook him, just make sure you make him wear a condo, and PLZ DONT DUMP ME. im not thrilled with you being with other guys but i know i dont OWN you and if this is what you need to do to make you happy and not dump me…..

and then get dumped anyway for NOT BEING THRILLED about their Polyamory hahahahahaha. i have to let them fook other people AND i have to be HAPPY about it. SORRY I cant see myself EVER being THAT cucked. thank GOD!!!!!!!!!!!

but yeah. i honestly thought she cared for me more. than i MEANT more to her, that i was more IMPORTANT in her life, that she could NEVER do something this bad to somebody that IMPORTANT to her.

and i KNOW i USED to be IMPORTANT to her because we were friends for a damn long time, and she told me i was important to her, and i believed it, and felt it!!!!! and we BOTH knew we were going through a rough patch here and probably needed to end……… but that still doesnt explain how a person just LOSES VALUE to you. you might not love or like them any more but at least recognize their VALUE as a person. their WORTH. you might feel differently about them but they’re not WORTH any less. and she treated me like i was WORTHLESS. and i was mind blown by, how can i be worth a LOT to her one year, then WORTHLESS to her no more than 1 year later???!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

i just wish she hadn’t treated me like i was SO WORTHLESS when she dumped me. she could have dumped me without treating me as WORTHLESS.

when someone is WORTH a LOT to you, and you are worth NOTHING to them. and you thought you were worth a lot more to them. because you knew them for YEARS and were friends for a long time. damn.

SHE BETRAYED ME A LOT MORE THAN I BETRAYED HER!!!!!!!!!!!!

Do I SEEK people that are BAD for me? people that are immature and crazy and that will hurt me?

i dont think so, because the previous woman, woman2012, woman….5 i think? was mature and well adjusted and dumped me in a good way. she was a good choice for me.

also this other gurl that i liked and would have dated and had a crush on her in like 2006-7. but i had no chance because she moved to a diff state soon after i met her. we just hung out a couple times and got along real well and she was real nice to me and she was cute and nonslutty and my type of girl. plus i think she would have been mature enough to dump me in a respectful way hahahahaha.

i took her out of the numbered women lineup simply because we were never THAT close. we could have been though. there was GREAT potential.

i also took out the woman i “liked” directly after her, who was a crazy disgusting mudshark whore who was an great example of me being attracted to the Wrong people sometimes.

but woman2015, i didnt think she was the WRONG person. i thought she was a RIGHT person. she didnt seem to be CRAZY and FOOKED UP. Sure she had some daddy issues but they didnt turn her into a crazy slut. i thought she was pretty uncrazy. but what she did here drove ME fooking crazy. i honestly did not see this coming. i did not expect this out of her. she wasnt a bipolar borderline slut. she seemed STABLE.  damn.

well i had never had this done to me before. i had no idea it would hurt so bad. and i had no idea SHE would do it to me.

well thing is i think i still do mean something to her, shes just TOO SCARED to do the right thing. she is the type to get scared and run away all the time. unless the shit is unavoidable.  like she is totally in luv with someone, or lives with someone, etc.

like if i lived with her, it would be physically impossible for her to do this to me.

well, i worked with her every day, youd think that would be bad enough. youd THINK.

she didnt think this through. but when do women ever think things through? and how can the world exist when all women just dont think? BECAUSE MEN DO THEIR THINKING FOR THEM. Women face no consequences for their own bad choices, men shoulder those responsibilities too hahahah . well except if a woman has a bastard baby with a deadbeat. in some of those cases, women do actually face consewuences for bad decisions.

well except when it comes to like voting, in that case, our antiwhite enemies, do their thinking for them. yes shiksas vote for abortion and more gibs 4 single mothers hahahaha. you are a stronk independent woman dont need no man.

i am just pissed that she faces NO CONSEQUENCES FOR THIS. she doesnt feel bad, she doesnt know she did anything wrong, she still thinks I am a piece of shit and i deserved it, and she did something AWFUL, and has NO CLUE, and will probably do something like this AGAIN to some other poor sap and STILL not face consequences for it.

well life isnt fair. sometimes people DONT face consequences for doing horrible things.

heh. i should stop smoking cigarets altogether but i really dont smoke that many, less than half a pack a week atm. so today i go out to my fav tobacco store and it is closed due to fire damage. havent been there in months. funny thing is there is an Abortionist in the same plaza about 3 doors down and they were still open. but the place right next door to it was not. hehehehe. well thank magic black science man the babykiller is still open hahahahahahahahaha. i then went to another tobacco shop and the arab employees were talkign really loud in arabic hahahaha.

also i am CERTAIN the southeast asian community ie vietnamese, thai, laos, cambodians etc have been steadily increasing in our area, probably in all areas. are they better or worse than chinese? probably worse hahahaha.

heheheh woman writes in complaining about infidelity or wandering eye from man. response: dump the pig!

man writes in about woman wanting to not be exclusive. response: shame on you! you dont own her! she can do what she wants with her hot body! dont try to control her you abusive pig!

https://iy.reddit.com/r/relationships/comments/43fiyi/ex_22f_who_cheated_and_left_me_25m_for_that/

oh wow reddit actually gives good advice. young man’s gf cheat on him, lies to him, leaves him for other man, now she contacts him and wants to be Just Friends. should he accept! and reddit tells him NO. FOOK THAT BITCH. when i was expecting reddit to say of courshe! whats wrong with wanting to be friends? arent you MATURE enough to be friends? she could be a wonderful friend! and when did she ever agree to an exclusive rel? it wasnt actually cheating in the first place! and other such DEGENERATE “advice.” but reddit actually said something reasonable here hahahaha.

https://iy.reddit.com/r/relationships/comments/437td5/my_24_m_so_21_f_is_asking_me_if_its_ok_if_she/

has a great response in there:

QUOTE

YourWebcamIsOn 5 points 22 hours ago
look, dude. she’s cheated before and now she wants to use her looks to get attention from men. oh yes, she just wants their money, riiiiiiight. This slippery slope couldn’t get any slicker if you turned it vertical and coated it in Teflon doused with Astroglide.
Next thing you’ll hear from her is “well, you didn’t give me enough attention and you made me feel bad about trying to get free drinks, so I went to the bar and when this cute guy offered me a drink, then another and another I just couldn’t say no and then we had sex in the bathroom and it all just happened so fast and I didn’t mean to, but this is your fault…”

END

hahahahaha. well memed. anyway.

so just think about it. if i posted my shit on a forum what would they say? theyd say exactly what id expect them to say. thought exercise. that it was kinda shitty for her to shut me down in that way. but shitty things happen, life isnt fair, people hurt other people, and just try to learn from this, know that all women arent like that, dont let it make you hate all women, and move on, dont waste your time with somebody who has such little respect for you.  the end.

they might disagree on whether i NEEDED to have a talk with them. well, you were giving her hints, she was picking them up, and avoiding you like the plague. that means she wasnt into you and didnt want to talk about it. yeah communication is good but that was her form of communication. which kinda sucks but theres nothing you can do about it. should have just started distancing yourself from her. you didnt really NEED to blurt it out, she was already telling you the answer, and even if you ARE autistic, it looks like you read her signals correctly.

http://www.seemypersonality.com/Personality-Report?u=sIQx3x5346921-2165816x089f3x1#tab-1

noooo this one says i have an iq of 101 holy shit and this covers more than pattern recognition

this is terrible. i put a lot of importance on intelligence and iq and figured it was one of the only skills i had. and to find out i am COMPLETELY AVERAGE is pretty disappointing. and i KNOW i USED to be smarter when i was young! but i lost at LEAST 10% of my intelligence through my degen lifestyle of MJ and alcohol and emotional bullshit!!!!!!

AT LEAST 10%!!!!!!!!!!

i had to be at LEAST 120 or 125 when i was young!

I coulda been a phd! i coulda been an stemgineer hahahaha now i cant be anything cuz i r 2 dumm.

how the fook can i be 101! i was disappointed with 115 and wanted to take another bullshit free online iq test to get a higher score! not a LOWER one! not one that is PERFECTLY AVERAGE!

muh intelligent brain was THE ONLY THING I HAD TO OUTCOMPETE OTHERS! and the idea that i am AVERAGE INTELLIGENCE is just very heartbreaking and discouraging hahahaha.

like fooook. this was ALL I HAD. im below average everywhere else: work ethic, charisma, outgoingness. but AT LEAST i am SUPER smart. and to think i may not be super smart at ALL.

well at least i am not BELOW AVERAGE for whites hahahahahaha.

also im sure a lot of it i did to myself with MJ and alcohol before age 25. shit.

shit. i mean i know i did a stupid major in college but i didnt think you could get INTO the college i did with a lousy 101 iq!!!!! although that college thought iq b racis n sheeeeit. and back then i probably had an iq well over 101 hhahaha.

so stupid.

common courtesy. if someone begs you for mercy, try to show them a little more mercy. unless they raepd and killed your family. NOT if they gradually came to get feelings for you after being friends for a while jeez.

what do white men with 101 IQ do with their lives? well they probably shouldnt go to college and they certainly couldnt be doctors, lawyers, engineers, scientists, professors. but they could sure go to trade school and with hard work, rise to the top there! become a master electrician or plumber and own their own business ultimately and make well over 150k  a year! provided they dont get sidetracked with drugs or alcohol or gambling or alimony or other shit.

could they go to college and get a business degree? probably! could they use it to actually make 40k a year? MAYBE. it would help alot if they had good social skills, charisma, game.

i thought that it was the TRADEOFF for me having bad social skills and bad game, that i then had EXTRAORDIARY intelligence. not ORDINARY intelligence!!!!!

you cant be socially awkward AND Just Plain Average intelligence!!!!!! that is a recipe for total failure if i ever heard of one! maybe thats why i am indeed a total failure hahahaha.

i mean you dont need higher than a 101 IQ to do perfectly fine in life: get a decent job, get a decent wife, 3 or more kids.

fook. you just think that if you’re DUMBER, then you are also more mentally/emotionally stable/well adjusted. its a sign of intelligence to be CRAZY in other words.

but maybe its NOT hahahahah. to be dumb AND crazy hahaha. what a shit sandwich.

heh. an ounce of cereal has more calories than an ounce of nonlean (80/20) ground beef.

i am on a Beef Diet right now. just eat straight up beef. with minimal bread or grains. basically stuff as much beef as humanly possible into a tortilla.

im just sick of bitches dumping ME, and me getting my heart broke, and getting SET BACK with despair and failure and shit, and they just keep getting ahead in life, and feel no remorse hahahaha.

well the other bitches felt some remorse so good for them. but they still became successful and respected hahaha.

this one was the WORST. and see i thought she was the BEST. she was BETTER than any woman i had ever met, otherwise we wouldnt get along so well and become such good friends.

and then she went and did the WORST thing to me any woman has ever done, become essentially the WORST woman i ever met. and i never saw it coming. there were no real red flags. there were yellow flags that i investigated and gave the all clear. there was nothing indicating she would just throw a person away like this, i had never known her to do it before. foooooooook.

well at least then i cant really blame myself for “I SHOULDA SEEN IT COMING A MILE AWAY.” Nope. no way I COULD have.

so if anything that reflects even MORE poorly on her. like way to really spring this on this guy. not like i was SPRINGING my feelings on her. i told her in december “you are really important to me, and I hope we can hang out more and become even closer friends in 2015 if you are willing.” hehehehe pretty dead giveaway amirite? that is like the clearest signal there ever was.

OBVIOUSLY i am hung up on this. it takes time to get over hardcore shit.

BUT WHAT DO I KNOW, I ONLY HAVE A 101 IQ. I am not as smart as i thought i was, and that was the ONLY thing i had any confidence in hahhahahaha.

i am SO fooking neurotic and crazy that youd think i would HAVE to be J00ish. its unfortunate.  thing is, even if i were 1/8 J’ish, i’m still as neurotic as a FULL BLOWN J. besides, I’m more than likely no more than 1/16 J’ish, and even thats a high estimate, i am probably 99.9999999% white. i am more likely to have……i dunno. a black? a turk/saracen? somewhere in there. i mean i come from really good stock. thats why its extra super disappointing i turned out the way i did hahahahaha.

ok time to go to the fatclub and look at promiscuous 20 year old girls with skintight pants and dead souls hahahahahaha. and half of them are not white enough for me hahahahaha. arabs and turks. semites and saracens hahahaha.

0131

heh i keep forgetting that im just an average idiot. well i WAS smart when i was 18 i can say!

ok when you do incline on the treadmill you have to NOT hold on to the rail or else it negates it somehow. i have a bad habit of holding onto the rail .

shit. maybe i was so confused at my job simply because i WASNT THAT SMART and i couldnt figure out the god damn problems because i didnt have the BRAINPOWER.

but i did top 10% in high school, i got admitted to a pretty selective college, people thought i was pretty smart, I thought i was pretty smart, basically my smart brain was the ONLY advantage i had in this world! how could I be just average 101 iq! average normies usually arent all crazy and awkward and creepy and autistic and spergy and weird. their social skills and people skills and emotional stability make up for their lack of brilliant intelligence.

well the reasonable thing to say is DONT TRUST FREE ONLINE IQ TESTS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

so i have seen my iq estimated at 101, 115, and around 130. wtf. 130 estimate comes from my actual ACT score. but should i trust that conversion process which estimates your IQ from you ACT score???!?!?!?!

also i got an A or an A+ in calculus 2. and i also got A’s in computer programming 2. i think that should count for something! this was AFTER i destroyed my mind with drinking and MJ!

shit. she was just being a BASIC BITCH to me, showing me none of the goodwill i thought our relationship entitled both of us to. she was just a basic bitch treating me like a basic beta orbiter. completely disregarding that we were real people who knew each other for YEARS.

that feel when someone who USED to like hanging out with you, now doesnt want to hang out with you at ALL, avoids you like the PLAGUE. it is not a confidence builder hahahaha. now they invite other cooler people to things they would have invited you to in the past, that they dont even tell you about now.  it just hurts to be pushed out of somebodys life, to be DOWNGRADED, and ultimately disposed of. how is that SO HARD for the jury of women in muh head to UNDERSTAND hahahaha.

maybe super promiscuous women would be better at dumping men in a good way, because they have been with SO MANY men. so they know the right way to dump them hahahaha. so maybe i should aim for promiscuous women hahahaha an avoid nonpromiscuous women hahahahaa.

ive never had a woman get so UPSET with me prior to the end of the rel. usually the woman has enough sense to realize that ending the rel will hurt me and upset ME, so they do it gently. here, she was mad and cold and distant for months leading up to the end. so she thinks she doesnt owe it to be nice to me when dumping me, because i was a horrible piece of shit who MADE her do this.

and i hate people getting upset at me when i am not trying to upset them.

https://bu.reddit.com/r/relationships/comments/43gjoi/me_22_m_with_my_now_ex_24_f_she_cheated_sort_of/

” After a long talk she tells me that she assumed I knew that we had broken up months ago and were just living together as roommates. ”

SHE BLAMES HIM FOR NOT KNOWING THEY WERE “BROKEN UP” EVEN THOUGH SHE NEVER TOLD HIM THEY WERE BROKEN UP, SHE JUST EXPECTED HIM TO KNOW THAT THEY WERE DONE. YET STILL LIVING TOGETHER. hehehehehe. she expected him to know that they were finished. even though she NEVER TOLD HIM i wannt break up with you. wtffffffffffffffffffffff.

https://bu.reddit.com/r/relationships/comments/43fywj/i_25_m_was_dumped_1_yr_ago_by_my_gf_23f_of_seven/

guy wants closure, is despairing after about a year, just cant get over it, she is now quickly engaged to some new guy.

https://bu.reddit.com/r/relationships/comments/43cm45/my_20_m_girlfriend_19_f_broke_up_with_me_a_few/

hahahaha now this guy writes a BOOK how CREEPY guys that are this CREEPY deserve to be alone their entire lives and deserve to be dumped!

https://bu.reddit.com/r/relationships/comments/4391db/me_30_mf_with_my_wife_31_f_16_years_my_wife_is/

gf of 16 years just wants to walk out with no explanation, no effort, reddit says that sucks but just let the bitch walk, you deserve better, good advice reddit hahahaha

oh its his fault because he wasnt EXCITING or FUN enough because he was being the Support. but he wasnt being fun, exciting, or ambitious on himself. of COURSE she got bored and wants to leave him. who wants to be SUPPORTED hahahaha.

https://bu.reddit.com/r/relationships/comments/42bn9y/i_20f_hung_out_with_a_guy_24m_off_tinder_no/

idiot nerd slut is confused because super awkward beta nerd doesnt know how to make secscual moves on the FIRST DATE and she asks if shes friendzoned.  these young women think its WEIRD to not get physical on the FIRST DATE. never even THINK the guy might a. be awkward b. not like SLUTS who PUT OUT on the first date hahahaha

Don’t make a priority of someone who makes you an option.

well thats a good lesson hahahahaha. and for her I WASNT EVEN AN OPTION ANY MORE.

i didnt realize that though. i didnt realize how close she was to being 100% done with the whole thing. i thought she still had SOME care for me as a person. because WHO WOULDNT? ive NEVER wanted to just be DONE with somebody without considering their feelings!

https://bu.reddit.com/r/relationships/comments/42eqva/what_my_boyfriend_23m_views_as_the_silent/

he views it as silent treatment from her, she views it as cooling off period.

it only lasts for a few hours. its a cooling off period. silent treatment is when they AVOID or IGNORE you and talking to you for DAYS and might continue to do so FOREVER.

https://bu.reddit.com/r/relationships/comments/41atej/i_29_m_confronted_my_girlfriend_29_f_about_her/

guy is starting to get jealous because his longterm gf is texting with a male friend which borders on “an emotional affair”. some decent noncuck advice from reddit. ie, this isnt right, you shouldnt have to put up with this….not SHE CAN DO WHATEVER SHE WANTS! MONOGAMY IS MISOGYNY!!!! HOW COULD YOU EXPECT SOMEONE TO HAVE SECS WITH ONLY YOU THE REST OF THEIR LIFE?! HUMAN BEINGS ARE NOT A MONOGAMOUS SPECIES!

basically ive found that ((((REDDIT)))) is not as degen and antimale as i thought they were, in terms of defending good men in the face of evil unfaithful women hahahaha.

https://bu.reddit.com/r/relationships/comments/43k7lq/im_very_confused_everything_was_going_great_until/

young collegeboi meets a Gr8 Gurl, everything is going great, he starts getting feelings….and she says NOPE just not ready for a rel right now see ya. this happens all the time. well at least they didnt have SECS because most gurls would have had SECS in this time becuase its just FUN.

https://bu.reddit.com/r/relationships/comments/40caow/bf_30_m_gives_me_23_f_silent_treatment_for_days/

like this guy gives the silent treatment for days and sounds like a real asshole hahahaha.

https://dg.reddit.com/r/relationships/comments/43lhnh/im_23_m_in_love_with_my_friend_25_f_for_5_months/

well i GUESS im glad i am not alone in shit getting COMPLICATED. this guy feel in love with his female friend, who just had a bad breakup with her shitty boyfraind, they broke up 10 times before, and during a recent breakup, the OP and his female friend “FOOLED AROUND” whether that means secs or just making out. anyway now hes in luv with her, shes probably for real done with the dbag bf, the OP is honest with her about his feelings, like yeah i like you, but it doesnt look hopeful. well i am sure she is confused right now too. but i would not like her to immeidately start fooking some other guy, without giving her friend OP a CHANCE.  cuz they already get along, he gets along with her mom, and he would treat her right.

heh. i created a reddit account just to upvote and save this one.

apparently a good move is to ask the girl to hang out…….but this time as an official date. heh. i dont know how you do that, when previously you have hung out As Friends. then as you start liking her, you get more NErvous abotu hanging out. Then what do you say….wanna hang out…..but this time as a Date?

heh. i was trying to do this anyway and she just avoided the shit out of it. i said heavily suggestive shit like “i wanna take you out to a fancy restaurant, im buying 🙂 ” and shit like that. rather than well lets hang out and go to dinner at normie platonic restaurant hahahaha. she had to have gotten the hint, and her putting it off was her way of saying NO. i didnt read it that way at the time though. i thought….well shes not saying NO! so in a little bit of TIME she WILL be ready and willing!

https://bu.reddit.com/r/relationships/comments/41nvv4/my_so_27m_of_twoish_years_is_giving_me_24f_the/

” People are endlessly fickle. The test of whether somebody really is interested in you is if they want to spend actual real time with you, texting is dangerous in my opinion for tending to create false intimacy. Be straight with her, tell her you want to meet up and spend time together on a date at a specific time. If she does not go for it I think you need to back off on the heavy texting because it is creating false hope. ”

good advice there. i think i was vulnerable to that cuz we were texting a lot but not hanging out at all, and the TEXTING gave me false hope.

its amazing how people can do things like text you every day, have SECS with you, yet they feel nothing for you. basically doing very intimate THINGS but with no intimacy invested from them. well, not that texting is inherently intimate, but i think secs IS or SHOULD BE. and i think the fact that we were texting almost every day helped me build up false hope and feel closer than we were. i wish she had either stopped responding to me or she had just agreed to HANG OUT WITH ME tho. like the guy above says, texting can go both ways. best thing is if they actually want to hang out with you.

https://rr.reddit.com/r/relationships/comments/3og7cj/i_26f_have_stupidly_strong_feelings_for_my_best/

search feelings for friend in the /rel subreddit

see, women get feelings for their MALE friends ALL THE TIME!!!!

https://rr.reddit.com/r/relationships/comments/421ju9/i_26f_confessed_i_had_feelings_for_my_close/

here a woman got feelings for a male friend and HE got MAD at HER hehehehe

https://rr.reddit.com/r/relationships/comments/s42vu/strong_feelings_for_my_best_friend_are_driving_me/

but yeah its kinda nice knowing that over 100 iq average normiefags can still fall in LUV and it drives them a little crazy. and they write loooooonnnnnnnggggggg posts on reddit. i thought i was the only one that wrote LONG shit. nope. if the person has feelings and is really invested, they will hae a LOT to say, not necessarily coherent, but just a LOT on their mind!!!!

https://rr.reddit.com/r/relationships/comments/25uwg9/i_21m_told_feelings_for_best_friend_20f_got/

” spicewoman 9 points 1 year ago
OP, I’ve had a similar situation with a long-time friend before. We had a platonic friendship for a long time (like you) before I developed feelings, and eventually reached the point where I felt I had to say something. It was the not-knowing that was driving me crazy, once we talked it out and I got him to be very clear that he did not return my feelings, it was actually surprisingly easy for me to get over it and move on.
My feelings have genuinely returned to platonic (I can’t even picture being more than friends with him nowadays, I have zero attraction and it would be weird as hell), and we’re still good friends to this day.
One of the important points to discuss with your best friend, if you didn’t already, is to be very clear that these feelings are recent. One of the issues that friendships have with this sort of thing, is that the target of your affection can feel like the friendship was a lie under false pretenses. It feels uncomfortable because it can make them question everything about your friendship up to that point. If you feel you need some time, absolutely communicate that, that you want to take some time to get over it so you can readjust to being platonic friends.
It’s up to her on her end how she reacts to all this, but if you’re really such good friends and she’s a mature and thoughtful person, she’ll be able to appreciate the honesty and the risk you took, and as long as you don’t try to pressure or guilt trip her over this, she should still be able to value you as a friend in the future once you’ve taken the time you need.   ”

well i tried to make it VERY VERY VERY clear that these feelings were recent and that the friendship was not under false pretenses, cuz i totally understood how that could be a concern. but i dont know if she read that or believed it when i sent her that message.

umm i never actually pressured her or guilt tripped her to have feelings for me, however i did pressure her to hang out with, communicate, and respond to me, because she was just avoiding me altogether and i wish she would just talk to me. but i was very clear in saying “i accept you dont have feelings for me, just please respond to me and lets try to End This Rel In A Better Way, i feel you are Throwing Me Away Like A Piece of Garbage and that hurts a lot, can you please respond to me and try to i dunno tell me you didnt mean to throw me away like a piece of garbage?”

thats all it boils down to. NOBODY likes getting thrown away like a piece of garbage. by a good friend they got feelings for. who is responding to them putting their heart out on the line and going All In, by Throwing Them Away like a piece of garbage.

the right thing to do is to say, AWWWWW IM SORRY. THIS MUST BE REALLY DIFFICULT FOR YOU. I APPRECIATE THE COURAGE IT TOOK FOR YOU TO TELL ME. BUT IM SORRY I DONT FEEL THAT WAY ABOUT YOU.

not get mad at the person and throw them away like garbage.

comment from same thread as above, which i disagreed with:

”  defiantgrit -1 points 1 year ago
It’s because you put the cart so far before the horse the horse didn’t even know the cart existed.
This isn’t how relationships work and I hope you’ve learned your lesson. Life isn’t an episode of How I Met Your Mother or the Big Bang Theory. You don’t confess feelings for someone. You have to date them first. How do you know that you actually love them without being in a relationship with them first? You might be friends with someone for years. You might know them so well. You still don’t know who they are in the context of a relationship until you are in a relationship with them. Then and only then can you really decide that you love that person romantically.
Instead you decided to say you had feelings for her without ever taking her out on one date. That puts a lot of pressure on someone and tells them that your ideas about love and relationships are skewed. This is why when you do this a lot of the time you will end up rejected. You should have felt the waters out by asking her out on a date. A real date. And telling her it was a date. If she said no then you could have easily moved onto someone else.
I hope you learned your lesson here. Real romantic love is fostered on two people sharing feelings for one another. Not one person creating an over-idealized version of someone they know as a friend, pining after them, then confessing their feelings verbal diarrhea style. When you do this you’re skipping very important steps that the majority of people take when they get into healthy relationships. Most relationships start with a physical attraction and a few dates then move into a more serious relationship then move into having strong feelings for one another.
And before I have to hear from all the people who confessed feelings for a friend and are successfully married to this day however many years later, please realize your situation is the exception in this sort of situation.  ”

this redditor mixes lies with the truth hahahaha. I argue that a friendship IS a kind of relationship. you really get to KNOW somebody. and then from this you can get feelings for them and decide you want a different kind of rel with them.  in fact i think its awful that you have to get physical early. and why cant you, in the course of hanging out with your friend, tell them: hey we need to talk. I can feel my feelings changing for you. I think I am starting to get feelings for you. i dunno why its happening now. maybe its the timing. maybe i wasnt fully over bla bla when we first met. just not sure. but what is sure is that i am starting to feel something for you. would you be willing to cuddle or make out or hold hands or have drunken unprotected secs right now hahahaha lemme get some snapchats of that pulverized pvssy hahahaha

https://rr.reddit.com/r/relationships/comments/2binyf/i_23_m_have_feelings_for_my_best_friend_25_f_who/

when you tell them your feelings, they reject you, but reject you nicely, BUT still want to be Just Friends, and Dont Understand why you need Space from them….. hehehehe i dd not have that problem. just COMMUNICATE with them and tell them would YOU want to see someone regularly who you liked and who rejected you? have YOU ever gotten feelings for a friend before? dont you realize, i still want you right now, i want to go out with you, and you want to be just friends. dont you see how we both want different things from each other? dont you see how this is UNBALANCED?????

COMMUNICATION. DO YOU SPEAK IT MOTHERFOOKER.

99.9999999999999999999999999999999999999999999% of all relship problems could be fixed with COMMUNICATION. but these bitches just dont want to or dont know how to communicate!!!!!!!!!!

TELL THEM THAT! TELL THEM the same thing youre telling REDDIT!!!!!!!!!!

there are some redditors who actual type in phrases for the OP to say. “I am feeling betrayed right now when you do this. We need to communicate about this and make sure we understand each other. I would prefer that you not fook other guys. But you have to decide if you care enough about me to honor that wish.”

yeah i admit it i didnt come clean RIGHT AWAY, but i kinda DID start sending signals right away, and gradually turning up the heat because the fire was rising within me. also she could have hung out with me ONCE in 10 months. THEN i probably would have told her a LOT earlier.

its not like “confessing secret feelings” because after a while they already have a good idea something is happening because youre acting weird. like you have feelings for them. and she certainly noticed i was acting weird. and PROBABLY knew what the weirdness meant. though i cant be sure she did.

also. when i first became friends with her i knew she was in a rel with another guy and when she was being all friendly to me i was REAL CAREFUL to watch out for things she might do that might even be close to cheating. i didnt want her to cheat on him in other words. if she threw herself at me, id be like baby, i cant enable you in cheating on anyone! you just showed me youre willing to cheat! thats fookin horrible!

so yeah, her rel with him was primary for me, and my mind couldnt even ENTERTAIN the idea of feelings for her until she was DONE with him. i dont think thats so weird. i was respected their damn rel. i really was!!!!!! goddamn it!!!! im not lying!!!!! thats the truth!!!!! and to her credit she never did anything like cheating. but i know if I had been her BF i would have been suspicious about my GF making a fun new male friend. and in fact i think she might have been TRYING to make him jealous, because he wasnt showing her that he luved her at all.

i dunno.  i just know that in 30+ years ive never been a cheater, i dont want to become a cheater. if i havent become one yet, i hopefully never will, and that gives me some hope. but it also means i dont want to be the one a cheater cheats with. cuz do you really want to be with a CHEATER?

and i really think you can separate cheaters from noncheaters, and i want to be with MY KIND. noncheaters. she was a noncheater so that was great.

have i ever been with a cheater? maybe. probably. like this crazy slut i pseudodated. she was very promiscuous and bisexual and bipolar and probably pro polyamory. and so she very probably cheated on SOMEBODY at some point cuz she fooks anything that moves, shes a slut, who doesnt view secs as some sacred bond between two and only two people. she never cheated on me….well she hung out with me, then would leave me and go fook another guy  who lived in the same house hahahahaha. but that was only a handful of times ahhaahha. and we werent exlcusively dating so it didnt count as cheating. hahahaha. well it was SHADY AS FOOK. she was willing to fook me too. any gurl thats willing to fook 2 guys in ONE DAY….very bad sign. adding that to my wife questionnaire nanahahahaha.

was it possible she was having an “emotional affair” with me? i dunno!!!! maybe!!! i never really thought of it that way but yeah its a definite maybe hahahaha. i dont think either one of us was mature or smart enough to see it that way though. and also i was very clear in supporting her rel with her bf at that time. that was my goal. i didnt even CONSIDER any feelings with her until she was DONE with him.

i tried to explain all this to her but it was a complicated situation and maybe she felt i was trying to split her and the bf up so i could get with her. although i explained it very clearly that was not the case. and we had several in depth discussions of how she could fix the rel with him. but it sounded like he didnt want to fix it, he just wanted to be done with it hahahaha. i know the feel of being on the receiving end of THAT hahaha.

but yeah i hate being essentially accused of being a liar and deceiver and betrayer, but im really NOT, and also not getting the chance to EXPLAIN myself.

i dunno. when she was with the BF, i encouraged her in that rel; and pretty soon after i got feelings for her, i tried to hang otu with her, and began turning up the signals. so i was a little cowardly, but i still think i made a GOOD FAITH EFFORT to not lie or not deceive or not hide. and then i explained all that shit in the emails that were never read.

so yeah i hate being thought of as a LIAR or a BETRAYER or a DECEIVER.

i gave a good faith effort sure……BUT IT WASNT GOOD ENOUGH.

well i mean its ON HER if i tell her something but she DOESNT WANT TO LISTEN.  she didnt HAVE To delete the long emails where i tried to explain all this. she could have read them. she could have listened. she could have RESPONDED!!!!!

i didnt LIE to you! i didnt BETRAY you! i was just scared to say the thing i was heavily hinting at the whole time and i was increasing frusting she was avoiding and avoiding and avoiding and avoiding hanging out with me!!!!!!!

https://bu.reddit.com/r/relationships/comments/43mn60/my_19_m_girlfriend_20_f_of_almost_2_years_broke/

wow what a clusterfook. young man and woman at different colleges, he luvs her, she wants out, dumps him, breaks his heart.

”  Be happy she had enough respect for you to not cheat on you. ” says a redditor. REALLY!!!!!! i think he is trying to be a wiseass and not be taken seriously, but this kid really is not gonna take that the right way.

NO. RESPECT IS MORE THAN SIMPLY NOT CHEATING ON YOU. RESPECT IS DUMPING YOU WITH KINDNESS hahahahahaha. RESPECT is understanding that you are causing that person pain, and it causes YOU some pain to cause them pain.