ITS IMPOSSIBLE TO RESPECT SOMEBODYS DECISION TO TREAT YOU WITH DISRESPECT

 

oct 13

apparently got up way too early today for 9am test. strangely not pooping even though drinking coffee and have some food that should be ready to go hmmm.

i just hate angry customers demanding explanations that i dont have, demanding to speak to somebody else when i cant transfer them, and i dont have time to Figure Out their problem, and just have to tell them It Is What It Is, Live With It. There’s no tactful way to say this problem isnt serious enough to our company to waste time figuring it out.

when you are sitting there in the trenches desperately trying to bullshit people and survive to the end of another day in hell, the one thing that gives you hope and solace is the idea that the first thing you do when you get home is youre gonna prepare a yuuuuuuuuge spliff and smoke it and get hella blazed. that is your one saving grace. it really does help. without that, things really start to look hopeless.

did not get a ton of sleep last night hehehe .

aha well feel the BM coming now finally hahahaha. usually i dont have to wait!!!!

then i get mad at other people, like HOW DO YOU DEAL WITH THIS? HOW DO YOU HANDLE THIS? and they get mad at me cuz i am mad at them cuz they can so easily tell customers “i dunno, not my problem, deal with it, live with it, cant help you, it is what it is, goodbye.”

well, it is true that what i saw what PERHAPS the evidence of a company on the downfall. well, the company was having a Bad Year, Big Losses, and laid a ton of people off, including in our department. but was the shitty service we gave indicative of that, or was it always like that, even when times were Good and Growing? i mean you always want to save money and do more with less, and that means sweeping Small Problems under the rug.

its just hard being the person who has to tell the person youre sweeping THEIR problem under the rug.

very hard. what do you say?

idk just go with the flow lol  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

yeah well YOU stop listening to your degen music and TELL this person that. give them a damn good EXPLANATION WHY you are sweeping their problem under the rug.

and go suck negro dick some more. spread your legs for negros and make fookin shitsprogs with them.

i might not be in luv with negros, but i can at least admit they are humans hahahaha. they are living human beings and their innocent babies lives have some innate value and shouldnt be created WILLY NILLY. same with any nonwhite babies. I am a sucker for babies. all races babies are INNOCENT HUMAN LIVES that should not be treated like GARBAGE.

im not an idiot i SWEAR. Here, call my high school teacher from 20 years ago when I was a top 5% student and got all A’s.

ok took the test, it was EASY AS SHIT. basically copy an extremely simple table from this paper into excel, using sum formulas and multiplication formulas hahahaha. no index match or offsets or vlookups hehehehe.

and then use an adding machine with paper tape roll to add up a list of 20 numbers. i did not even understand. who uses adding machines.

i was nice to the lady and she was nice to me and i also saw a printout of the 30 people who took the written test a few weeks ago where i did horribly on the accounting questions, i told the lady yeah i didnt do so well on the accounting part, but i took accounting courses in College and got A’s I SWEAR, I could TOTALLY do that stuff again with the debits and credits and journal entries if I just did a little refresher, its not rocket science, its just you get rusty if you havent used it in a few years!!!!!! and she seemed understanding.

jeez. just when i thought trump was past this grab em by the pvssy shit, some more bad shit happens, namely, some b’s coming out saying he groped them. i guess i sort of thought this might happen, and now it is. i like how he is condemning the lugenpresse, because he knows this cant be proven, although youre a woman hater if you think a Victim Might Be Lying, especially if they put their name and face on video and say I, Ms Lyin Slutberg, say that trumps hands were like an octopus on me in 1980, and women dont make this shit up for political reasons hahahaha.

but yeah that is the prevailing idea, that women never lie. and trumps got to get women to believe women do lie, in order to get womens vote. of course women know women lie, but they will deny it to the point of voting against that bad bad man.

but yeah it is def hurting his poll numbers signif. i mean it does not look good folks.

but if he can handle this as well as he handled the pvssy tape, he has a chance.

heh i almost had a heart attack seeing this one cuz i actually thought it was That Woman doing an actual reddit post about ME hahahahahahaha. but its not. i am older than 29 anyway hahahahaha. also it sounds like she rejected him a little nicer because they were still talking afterwards. well…..not really. well, it sounds like she actually told him “im not interested,” and THEN he started asking Creepy Details about her Secs Life. well at least i did not do that! so i am less of a creep and better at respecting boundaries than this guy!

i mean i am fine being a woman hater but i DONT want to be a creep, i DO want to respect boundaries.

I was VERY, VERY, VERY distraught and upset, like this guy, but I think I did an OK job of respecting boundaries…..well just the idea of me getting feelings for her and asking her to hang out regularly was Trampling Her Boundaries!

yeah well she could have stopped saying YES WE WILL HANG OUT!!!!!!!!!! that KINDA got my hopes up!

but yeah i admit i was weak and cowardly and should have blurted everything out in november 2014. that is the lesson i learned, and if i ever get into this situation again, that is what i will do.

i didnt really manipulate our mutual friend to talk to her, but yeah maybe i did secretly hope that mutual friend would talk to that woman and be like hes really upset and you were kinda shitty to him hehehehehehehehe.

but yeah it gets to a point where you really dont have anything to TALK about. i learned pretty quickly that i didnt want to just TALK to her, i wanted a CHANCE with her. the time for TALKING was earlier. like yeah i wish you had dumped me with talking but if you come talk to me now, uhh yeah im still in luv with you, ill still be in luv with you 15 months later. i can accept you not wanting the rel, just tell me no. tell me no and tell me im not a piece of garbage hahahaha. just say aw im sorry youre a real sweet guy like all the other women who “FRIENDZONE” their male friends hahahahahaha and then lets take a little break because you cant be friends when theres one sided feelings, didnt you learn than by age 25 hahahaha.

i will pay for a dumping expert for you to dump me.

or have your mom dump me for you.

but yeah at the end of the day she was a nice person, a beautiful person, and i will never get over her or stop being in luv with her or find a better woman ahahahahahahaha.

this feels as bad as muh First Heartbreak! they say the first is by far the worst, but this one is by far the worst! the 5th or 6th heartbreak hehehehe. well because it was the most significant actual relship.

anyway yeah i guess i understand, if i were in her position i wold have a hard time dealing with me too.

i mean you really do need a professional for these types of things. well ok. i would have her go to my shrink, talk to my shrink for 30 minutes, then i would talk to the shrink for 30 minutes. do a couple of those sessions. and the shrink could relay everything in a mature manner. thats their JOB hahahaha.

yeah well many people are just horrible at their jobs and have no idea what they are doing hehehe.

i mean isnt this what QUALITY ASSURANCE does? makes sure stuff is objectively correct?

i mean i never experienced this before. i pretty much accepted the ITS OVER talk. well, i would try to win them back. didnt work. they would make out with you (and im sure str8 up Pity Fook you, because its just secs). but i was too pathetic to even PUSH for secs because im nervous about secs and am perfectly happy with making out.

anyway winning them back didnt work and i shouldnt have tried it.

well these were crazy middle class jooish college gurls! and That Woman was a nice white down to earth normal woman who was not a Huge Career Woman.

i was a little creepy, but was I SO creepy that I should be totally ashamed of myself? sometimes i am, sometimes im not, and im still not sure how ashamed i SHOULD be, in other words, not sure exactly How Creepy I was.

i mean i dont WANT to be creepy. because “creepers” dont get women ever. its synonymous with undesirable. i dont want to be undesirable. have such deep issues i could never be with a wimmin. i mean they have deep issues too, but it doesnt matter bc women are the supply, therefore i HAVE to not be creepy. it is my responsibility. my mission. i dont want to fail my mission.

heheh got up at 6 am, not a lot of sleep, in mood for nap now at 12 pm hahahaha.

anyway. muh life is in ruins and all i can think about is WOMEN. and this is not a new thing. i always cared more about women and the related drama, than making something of myself. this is one of muh hugest flaws.

cuz i was always way more interested in women than i was in Employment, Education, or Training hahahahahaha. all that stuff was boring at best and excruciating at worst.

yeah i shoud not be writing here, very tired hahahaha. i mean i SHOULD be furiously jobsearching but i dont do that so furiously. hey i did something job related today! and i am on the baby steps plan hahaha.

but i have been on the baby steps plan for YEARS. i need to start doing MORE than baby steps, a LOT more.

GROWN ASS MEN DONT GET ANYWHERE WITH BABY STEPS.

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

teen doesnt want to go to college, caretaker says she needs college beause shes not the type to do well without college.

such an easy answer. let the damn kid take a damn gap year, maybe two. also its easy to get a job when you are a 18 year old gurl hahahahaha. take some business classes at the CC because the kid is vaguely interested in “Starting a business” with no plan. so take accounting classes at least, maybe econ, i dunno. def accounting cuz its an actual skill you can get paid for. i mean it hasnt really helped my career hahahaha.

everyones like o just have her get a FT job and pay you rent, which in theory is a great idea…..but what if she cant get an FT job? spends the entire gap year just applying to jobs, going to interviews, and not getting jobs? hehehehe.

which i highly doubt tho, cuz as an 18 year old gurl she could prob get hired at a 12 dollar an hour county job like i just got two rejections today for two such jobs! they either dont like muh gap andor they think i am overqualified andor they dont want to hire white males. they hire a lot of white females though hahahahaha.

anyway if the kid is not DRIVEN in real life, they wont be DRIVEN in college, and being a lazy slob in college is not gonna help them. then you become a huge failure like me hahahaha.

anyway i always knew i was too fooked up to have a rel with a woman, so i wasnt actively looking for one. i knew i had to fix myself first, and that would take YEARSSSSSSSSSSSS until i am 40 or so.

point is, i didnt go LOOKING for a woman when i “found” That Woman. Us becoming friends was the easiest, most natural, most spontaneous thing i had felt in a very long time. we just got along instantly. it just happened naturally af. i didnt LUV her at first. after 2 years of being solid friends, i fell in luv with her. and yet i still was too broken and damaged to be in a rel.

point is, i wasnt putting myself out there, i wasnt trying to FIND a GF in other words. she literally fell into muh life and we got along rather MIRACULOUSLY.

like i think about going on okcupid or something and practicing banging sluts, but i know im not even ready for that cuz muh life is a mess, cant take care of myself, cant be a adult, i gotta get that stuff fixed before i even THINK about women.

hehehehe. yep. get me to stop thinking about women hehehehe.

well thats a lot easier when you are working FT at a terrible job. THEN you just think about surviving one day at a time. you have no Libido, you cant even jerk off UNLESS You look at porno. and it becomes a joyless experience solely to attempt to relieve stress. destress. and it doesnt work nearly as well as smokin MJ.

or quickly crank one out thinking of the Office Young Slut that all the other lonely old guys want to bang too.

if you are lucky enough to GET a job. AND work with even ONE attractive young woman.

but attractive young women can be INCREDIBLY distracting.

well, you will probably be thinking of them ANYWAY even if you dont know or see any. kinda in that position right now. im always thinking of women, but i really dont interact that much with women, and my point is, i dont know ANY attractive young women! but i still think about the idea of them! all the time!

shit maybe send that 17 year old kid to a shrink (i am thinking of them more as a boy than a girl, because gurls shouldnt Go Away To College period.) just to get a damn “tune up” and make sure they dont have Depression or Anxiety or Bipolar. just get a check up, and if they have anything, they can start treating it when theyre young and before they get their whole life off track. maybe the kid is Depressed because they dont seem to have any drive or motivation hehehehe. also make sure they are NOT doing drugs or alcohol regularly. find a male mentor who is 5 years older. 9 at the very most.

if the mentors are too old, they wont know how the world works and their advice wont apply hahahahaha. theyll say go to college, thats your sure ticket to the middle class, hahahaha.

dont get a female mentor.

FEMALES CANT MENTOR.

well, maybe they can mentor children and women, IF they have children of their own.

well what about this guys wife who is a successful business owner.

ok fine, if they own a successful business, ill give them a pass.

and actual entrepreneurs WOULD be GREAT mentors for Teens. but good luck getting access to these privileged, valuable, expensive, very important people. their time is worth 100 bucks an hour just to talk to them on the phone. just go shadow a doctor or something. go shadow bill gates hahahaha.

but yeah going to college right after high school was a HORRIBLE idea for me, so yeah i was VERY interested in that topic.

wewlad finally gonna come in under muh daily calorie goal of 1200, instead of way way over.

ITS SO HARD TO DO EVEN 1 BABY STEP hahahahaha.

but yeah i get SO nervous at the idea of Facing Customers. it is TERRIFYING. like the kids at mcdonalds making 9 dollars an hour. i couldnt do what they do!

but the FACT is, at ONE time, i USED to do pretty high level, in depth, srs business customer service. having deep intense serious conversations.

so yeah i just want to answer all my haters who say i got involved with a woman before i was READY.  it just HAPPENED ok. i wasnt LOOKING for anything. you cant CHOOSE who you LUV.

on reddit some college educated career woman was doing a /sarcasm about sex being “the holy process by which babies are made” /s . i wanted to reach through the screen and punch her in the face for being such a fooking godless disgusting degenerate. THAT SHOULDNT BE SARCASM! THATS EXACTLY WHAT SECS IS!!!!!!!!!!

and i am honestly disappointed that ONLY religious people share my beliefs. I argue endlessly you dont HAVE to be religious, christian, etc to have my beliefs on Sexual Morality, that sex is a darn near holy, sacred, sublime process by which Human Life is created, so have some damn REVERENCE for it.

apparently only religious nuts think this, and everybody else doesn’t.

i am SORTA religious but I stubbornly insist you dont NEED to be to feel this way about secs. even a damn tree worshiping pagan would agree with me!

i was pleasantly surprised to see that there were soem gun owners on reddit. one rel question involved guns and plenty of gun owners responded. i expected everyone on reddit to be violently antigun, anyone who doesnt express only negative opinions about guns is an evil white cis racist hateful nazi kkk trump raeper. so i was glad to be proven wrong there.

everything is NOT OKAY with these women. 25 year old women making 50 grand a year write work emails about things being NOT OK. good god.  and we all have to bow down to the women and fix shit when they think something is NOT OK. no man would EVER use those words to describe anything, unless he is a total cuckold phaggot.

women are very conformist in the way they talk so colloquial idioms like “not ok” and “its a thing” and “its been a minute” and “creeper” and “netflix and chill” and LITERALLY and  just the littlest ways of speaking, the words, the stupid slang, they get really into that and it changes the way they TALK. and men just dont TALK like that, not nearly as much.

 

heh the anxiety reddit is sometimes pretty good, though not nearly as much comments as relshits.

 

yep

 

in this WOMANS defense, I would get anxious about 12-15 hour shifts too!

 

there is a despair reddit too but damn these people are pathetic. but there are some good questions like the above. not alot of answers though.

anyway i think my despair comes FROM muh anxiety which holds me back from taking risks and doing things and accomplishing Life Goals like getting a real job, maintaining the job, getting a rel, maintaining the rel, being an adult, etc.

also anxiety prevents a LOT of people from working. they have panic attacks and crying every day about their job. panicking every morning. panicking at lunch. being exhausted and destroyed at the end of every day.

some suggested that high CBD cannabis can help with anxiety but high THC can Aggravate anxiety? i dont doubt that. but I always think of it in terms of indica vs sativa, and this is NOT the same thing.

well then give me a high CBD indica hahahaha.

 

1 comment basically saying i dunno, nothing helps, try meds and maybe it will help you seem like a normie.

hehehehe. i know that feel.

but yeah. valid, good questions, with barely any responses. bretty disappointing reddit.

well i can at least be gratefu that muh anxiety and despair arent as bad as some of these people. like i can actually go on interviews, 23 of them hahahahaha. (but VERY doubtful about actually doing a job and surviving at it!!!!!!). also i dont get holy shit i must K myself sort of thoughts. more like wow i am a huge failure who has wasted my life and i will never be able to turn it around, but i dont really want to K myself! but i just feel hopeless about being able to become a real adult with an average job, and to get a halfway decent gf, ideally wife. ok FINE i will accept not having children. but i wont accept getting into a rel with a shitty woman out of pure desperation and loneliness. i would rather continue being alone. and just smoke MJ and maybe bang sluts like a degen. its not ideal but i wonder if some secs would make a man more confident which he can then use to do actually good, nondegen things. the ends jsutify the means. by any means necessary.

oct 14

https://www.eremedia.com/ere/why-you-cant-get-a-job-recruiting-explained-by-the-numbers/

yeah the page does exist, ive got it open right now. very discouraging article  written by evil hr person hahaha.

http://insights.dice.com/2014/09/16/recruitings-dirty-little-secrets/

ok ive had enough hahaha

basically i was looking for an Experts Opinion on low-level (data entry, general clerk, entry level admin asst, clerical asst, office clerk) get posted AGAIN and AGAIN and AGAIN and over and over and over every 3 or 4 weeks, basically the same position in the same location, and you apply 3 or 4 or 5 times until youre ike WTF is going on here, ive applied to this same job 4 times and still havent gotten called for a First Interview or even a Phone Screening, WTF is going on here. has their HR department blackballed me, or is this just not a real job? are they building a pool? there must be 10000 people in the pool by now!! are they trying to build a BETTER pool? its a 12 dollar an hour job! youre not gonna GET mark zuckerberg!!!!!! WHAT IS GOING ON here? looking for an article that explains this phenomenon, but cannot find.

i mean yeah im sure i could get flagged as “DESPERATE, WILL TAKE ANYTHING” in the ATS, which is only half true. I will only take anything that is less than 50% phones hahahahaha, i will take anything that wouldnt obviously drive me completely insane and do a panicquit hahahahaha.

im sure ive got that flag at the hospital where ive applied to 50 jobs. but i’m not applying to shit all over the hospital! i am applying to stuff in my ballpark of qualification!!!!!!!!!!

if there are men looking for the “GF experience”, are there women looking for the BF experience?

well, and im not SURE about this, but my THEORY is that women who get LONELY like this will just end up trying to convert their BFE (probably a Fook buddy or FWB) into an actual BF.

just basically slapping your fantasy image of the perfect GF/BF onto whatever attractive person lets you fook them. then you fook them and cuddle with them and be nice to them and start to want them as your GF even though you have no idea who they REALLY are. pretty much what happened with the first gurl i fooked.

its safe to say if you want the GFE, you want a GF, period.

(yeah this is kind of a NO SHIT SHERLOCK thing when you think about it for 1 second.) so you are at risk. you bang some slut and try to make it a GFE, and then probably end up getting stupid feelings too fast because what you REALLY want is a GF.

i mean its not really STUPID, its completely understandable.

when you search what appears to be specific requisition numbers on a big companys job site and you cant find the job. because i got an email alert saying apply for this job, but no LINK in the email, so i search the req number given in the email to make sure i find the exact job, and nothing. total incompetence by the HR of a YUGE successful company. shit why even post jobs, they can get top talent from top skools, why even open this shit to slobs like me.

less than 1 month to go and the pres campagins are now all about Secs Scandals. this is honestly kinda disappointing. not that secs scandals do not matter cuz they ARE an indicator of Morality, which is more important than anything hehehehe.

well i mean i will accept a president who has groped a few women, but is sincere about making america great again hahahahaha. i will not accept a pres who has groped and raeped a LOT of women and who wants to genocide my race hahahahahahaha.

so what if trump doesnt respect women? I dont respect women! well, the MAJORITY of women hahahahaha. SOME women are respectable. but not a lot.

although on a person to person level, social interactions, i treat everybody respectfully, even if the person may not really be respectable. i mean im not gonna FIX them by being an asshole to them. i dont like being an asshole to people anyway. its too much WORK, its too much STRESS, too much anxiety.

i wish there was a lot more discussion on the anxiety reddit. there is 10% of the talk as there is on the relships. but anxiety CAUSES SO much trouble with relships, with life in general. well, for men at least. women can still have anxiety and get Rels and Jobs because they are the supply. they are very much in demand. men will bend over backwards to Help Women. thats just the way it is. accept it. dont get MAD about it and complain that its UNFAIR. its really NOT, because women get pregnant. now it might be unfair that women arent AWARE of this, and its definitely infuriating. and it IS fair for you to get angry about that, hahahahahahahaha.

WE HAVE NO RECORD OF THAT.

another great it is what it is, not our problem, oh well, youre screwed, deal with it type statement you can give to your customers.

im not saying youre lying, but youre lying. we have no record of that. not because were incompetent.

so youre telling me that my wireless card is just gonna keep disconnecting every single day, and the only way to “FIX” it is to restart my computer 10 times a day, repeatedly run network troubleshooting 10 times a day, and just WAIT when i lose internet for 10 minutes at a time every day and have to tell my paying customers, sorry, you have to wait 10 more minutes before the computer can take your money. nope we cant give you a discount either because budget. gotta cut costs goy. no refunds, no exchanges, no discounts, no service, no guarantees, all sales are final.

some people hate sitting in TRAFFIC. but you know whats even WORSE? actually being at work and having to deal with those callers and customers and tasks! traffic is EASY!!!!! its a NO BRAINER!!!! you just sit there and wait and move verrrrrryyyyyy sloooooooooowly. you already know how to HANDLE it. you dont need to make 1000 flashcards and study every night on how to deal with heavy traffic. its simple, its not complicated, its a 1+1 math problem.

meanwhile every phone call is a fookin Calculus 5 story problem where they bitch at you to explain why on every step, and youre not doing this fast enough, and dont you know what youre doing, why cant i speak to someone who knows what theyre doing, nobody in your department ever knows what theyre doing! isnt this your JOB????

so yeah i hate that. it is very nerve wracking, anxiety provoking.

now, anxiety was not a big problem for me for a good long while, from like 2010 to 2013. i was working an easy job, handling that, i wasnt anxious and nervous. i was grumpy and angry and hateful sure, but not anxious. 2014, 2015 were huge anxiety years, carried over into 2016 as well.

but it was nice to go several full YEARS without as much anxiety. but then it comes back for YEARS again. damn.

We have no record of this. Please reboot your computer and wait 10 minutes before attempting to use your cash register or office computers. Discounts/refunds must be approved by CEO, or create a Cash Drawer Shortage so your manager can fire you for stealing. Hope This Helps!

was this because i was working at a failing company, and everybody knew it was failing? (except for people who just listened to music all day and said idk go with the flow lol idk) the customers, the managers, the nonmanagers, the field, the support, everybody with half a brain?

when your customer says, this is DISGRACEFUL service, and you say, yeah i agree, but there’s nothing i can do here. i am the manager. policies. ill get in trouble. we cant just give discounts away. our company will go out of business. and then it goes out of business anyway through a combination of giving away discounts, bad service, low quality, high prices.

whos supposed to be doing this, because i dont know how to do this. oh im supposed to be doing this? says who? let me speak to their manager. oh theyre not in. you have one manager for 5 locations. ok whos the acting manager. nobody. ok whos the smartest person there. oh he’s not in. WHO IS THE SMARTEST PERSON WHO IS THERE RIGHT NOW. hes in a meeting. ok, then who is the smartest who is in the building, who is not in a meeting, who can talk to me right now? nobody, were all on the phone with customers. i am literally the only person who can help you, and i dont know what im doing.

ok who has the most seniority/experience. oh this whole office/location is new. ive only been here a month and all the managers have only been here 2 weeks. NOBODY knows what theyre doing. so we call people for help, and THEY dont know what theyre doing.

sheeeeit times like this i need to get out of the house. i did apply for one job thank god, a military civ job. only took 16 minutes. well when you ONLY put 16 minutes or 15 minutes into a app, thats a good GUARANTEE that you will never get an interview! hahahahaha. you should be spending at LEAST an hour on every app, really fine tuning it to each job hahahaha.

anyway i have decided to go to the store today and get a white dress shirt that fits me a bit better than the one i usually wear for interviews, which is too big.

later

ok did that. felt the need to get out of house and DO something, not just complain in here, and force myself to apply for Jobs. and not “just” go for a walk, but DO something, anything i needed to do, like get a white dress shirt that fits better, or go buy laundry detergent for the home. going for a walk is fine, i need to lose weight (not really, but i do WANT to!) but i wanted to Baby Step Do Something today.

went to burlington for the shirt. we had a majority white town thank GOD but burlington in the middle of the afternoon is NOT majority white. there were a ton of blacks and especially arabs there. some asians.

the arabs in my town, you wouldnt have to worry about them joing ISIS, but they might be contenders for drug dealing and Raping White Gurls. but i dont think they are too islamic. they just speak arabic and haggle with cashiers at burlington and grope women and probably like to drink which is absolutely haram. smoke hookahs all day and watch soccer.

got some diet coke because i was curious to mix it with my coffee.

rejection emails that reference requisition numbers that DO NOT MATCH WITH the requisition numbers stated on the taleo site! it gives a 7 digit number, and all the req numbers i see are 6 digit! so i cant even match it up with a job on my spreadsheet for certain, because i recorded the 6 digit req number!!!!!! so i dont know which admin assistant job i was rejected for!

or you take 10 minutes to apply for a job (contingent (casual) job no less) and only when youre DONE does it tell you the job has expired. thanks NEWTON ATS.

wewlad. finally got in muh 3 apps for the day. so much shit is coming up expired. or i already applied to it but couldnt figure out if i had or not. felt like it took forever. much longer than the 42 minutes it should have taken hahahaha.  in fact it took 46 minutes hehehehehehe.

kirkland vodka. apparently critics say its better than gray goose and also way cheaper.

that basically all kirkland booze is high quality and reasonably priced.

i just thought that was kinda funny. as a guy who used to drink fooking near-bottom shelf canadian whiskey like canada house and rich and rare and royal canadian and CANADIAN HUNTER hahahaha. i couldnt even drink something good like VO or Crown Royal. once in a while i did canadian club hahahahaha.

Rich and Rare was probably the best quality for a low price, shameful booze, and candian hunter was the most BADASS……but not really the best quality. I cant not recommend the Rich And Rare though. got EPIC drunk off of that shit.

actually R&R was pricier than royal canadian.

i really dont know how i got into drinking steel reserve tho. BAD idea. i mean why not just drink lots of regular beer like miller lite. well, i did that too!

maybe get some kirkland weed hahahahahahahahahahaha. well im sure if they had some, it would be good.

i guess Kirkland Shirts are pretty good. not sure about pants hahaha. get some nice Kirkland Jeans hahahahaa.

10 thousand word post. this is definitely top 5% length folks.  just ridiculous.

get a kirkland wife hahahaha. kirkland mail order bride.

ya know i am not interested in a mail order bride at all. even a white one. maybe when i am 45 – 50 i will be hehehehe.

ok moved some of this long post to the previous post to match the lengths a little bettter.

i mean i just want to get a LOT of MJ right now. like a 4th or half ounce! like 100 dollars of MJ i would buy right now. i mean im thankful to have that kind of money, but thats what happens when you are a neet who didnt have a ton of expenses and saved most of their money when they were working.

are there any neets who ARENT virgins?

well probably. what i mean is there any neets who are getting secs from nonhookers at the time of their neetness? or even has a gf? neets with a gf? dont make me laugh hahahaha.

ate way too much at dinner again. went over limit of 1200 for the day.

now i CAN get all the way up to 1500 and not GAIN weight. ie 1500 is muh BMR. well i got to like 1450 today.

lesson: if your one Big Meal is a huge meal at a restaurant, that will put you well above 1200 unless you do a LOT of ezercise that day. like 500 calories at least. which some people can do in 30 minutes of running. not me. takes a solid hour of dam jogging.

sheeeeeeeeeeeit well i found the company THAT WOMAN works for and it is pretty damn close to muh house. well i saw a posting from the company on indeed and looked at it, then looked up the location of the company. it was about 2 or 3 miles from muh house.  thankfully i never go that way.

well i am now mad that she gets a job that is close to her home, closer than the last one. and that she can handle taking help desk calls.

well maybe she cant! maybe they put her on phones and she flipped the fook out because she’s not used to phones.

and it doesnt matter! it just sucks that i still think about her at all!

because i havent found a good REPLACEMENT for the positive stuff i got from her. namely a good connection with a decent woman, a real rel. its easy to have casual secs (well, not for me) but its HARD to have a real rel. real rels are inherently noncasual. they are long term. it is HARD to replace that shit.

and i am not happy at myself, that i looked up the exact location of the company. but i saw the company randomly on indeed, without searching for it, saw it was located in a city near mine which is a small city with nothing but machine shops (and i should really get a job at one of those, but then i might see her hahahahaha) and i was surprised that this type of company was in that city, THEN i looked up the exactly location, which, because it was in this small city, was OF COURSHE going to be close to me.

THEORETICALLY she could stop at the huge grocery store near here, to or from going to her job, and i could see her at the store, because this is the grocery store nearest to my home, and i go there regularly. was there today.

this is what happens 15 months after someone you never even fooked or dated dumps you hahahahaha.

sheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeit.

heh i applied to an Entry Level Data Entry job which ive applied to this same job 3 or 4 times. it just keeps appearing and appearing. i apply and apply. it gets hundreds of applicants every time. why keep opening it. very fishy. this time i totally forgot to change the name of the company from my previous cover letter. (i did change it the first time its mentioned, in the first paragraph, but forgot to do the second time, in the third paragraph.) sheeeeeeeeeeeeeit. now i am probably on a blacklist and should never apply to that job again. its disgraceful they even post the job so often. i am sure there si high turnover, lots of blacks. why cant they call me!!!!!!!!

yeah but i want a company that posts jobs rather than never posts jobs, right? even if they already HAVE all the candidates they could possibly need????

that feel when you get to 5 jobs in 1 day for the first time in a while because youve been getting discouraged and slowing down, then find out 1 of those is DEFINITELY disqualified because you made that stupid mistake.

thing is, they probably wouldnt even really care.

i hate that dumb blacks can get these jobs just because they dont have Anxiety HAHAHAHAHAHA no i am just partly kidding. its not because of Anxiety that i dont get these jobs, because i hide the anxiety FAIRLY well on interviews and fake my way as being MOSTLY normie with a normie level of interview anxiety. but it is very true that blacks have less anxiety than whites. its just the way they are wired. so they can aggressively grab women by the pvssy and impregnate as many women as possible in a total r selection strategy. and the women love it.

 

CASUAL SECS, CASUAL RELS, CASUAL SOCIOPATHS

oct 10 2016

sheeeeeeit

the pure raw hatefulness of pre 2005 darkthrone is good for job search type stuff.

of COURSE she found it easy to replace and forget about me: she had a JOB, she had MJ, and she had a Selection of Secs Options.

here is why Women Perpetuate a Culture of DEATH and have No Respect for Human Life:

  1. They dont understand that sex creates human life and they do it QUICKLY, with any strongman negro thug
  2. If they accidentally create a new human life, they just murder it with no remorse
  3. They end (and begin) relships at the drop of a hat and quickly forget about people they have known for years. Strong feelings can disappear in a matter of days or weeks.

they are SOCIOPATHS!

yeah but isnt kali the god of both creation AND destruction? i guess that puts things in perspective. that just as much as women are the creators of human life, they are equally the DESTROYERS of it!

And its MENS job to keep them OUT of Destruction mode, by keeping them IN creation mode as much as possible!

kali, or shiva, i dont know, i dont care.

YUGE interview tomorrow, biggest one in a more than a month. bank IT job. mainframes. i should be preparing better. but i already prepared for the phone interview last week. now i just want to complain about how horrible women and interviews and jobs are.

i guess trump did ok in the second debate? i mean its not like im gonna vote for hillary. and sensible women will say, oh trump is a Creep and Woman Hater…..but he’s still a way better choice than hillary!!! and then “hold their nose” and vote for trump.

so yeah i dont get these undecided voters.

in fact really i am gonna be STUCK voting republican the rest of muh life even if they only put up weaker and weaker cuckolds.  because at the end of the day, repub will always be closer to muh WHITE MALE demographic than the dems ever will be. i mean i just dont see a pro-white-male dem candidate as being even POSSIBLE ever.

i mean the dems are ALWAYS gonna be pandering too much to nonwhites and degens for me to ever support them! they only thing they possibly have going is that they are the party of the “regular working normie” which is FALSE anyway!

but basically i will vote for the candidate that is BETTER FOR WHITES. period. single issue voter hahahaha.

and i am sure that most times that choice will be extremely obvious.

and sometimes even the one who is better for whites wont necessarily be GREAT for whites. again. lesser of two evils. LEAST WORST.

 

guy asks for advice on how to dump his GF in a nice way because he doesnt want to DEVASTATE her because he doesnt hate her, shes a nice person, he just doesnt want to be in the rel anymore. what a moral guy hahahahaha.

welp managed to do baby steps of 10 pushups and 2 job apps. i mean i feel like i did 80% of my prep work for this interview, when i did the phone interview with them last week.

you DO get a chip on your shoulder and an inferiority complex like youre not good enough, and you always have to PROVE yourself, when you do 23 job interviews and nothing. at this point, the rejection has continued OVER THE LONG TERM, and that changes you. you get used to being rejected, although of course you dont WANT to be, and you probably get slowly better at Selling yourself. but its still never good Enough, and you still expect to be rejected for months and months longer. while women are out there making MONEY. and you cant convince people that you are worth a job to make your own money.

and fenriz the party animal can work at the norwegian post office for 25 years in a Career, non-PSE job, probably has a MF day shift, probably no split shift, probably doesnt have supervisors shitting on him all day. and he has time and energy to enjoy 500 albums a year and write and record darkthrone and I think he has a GF too who isnt dumping him because hes so insecure and weak. and he continues to drink beer at 44 years of age. and has a beautiful full head of hair. shit he probably smokes MJ too hahahahahahaha.

so, 153 hours of “work” times 12 dollars an hour is 1836 dollars worth of “work” i have done on job search. i am measuring all this time as closely as possible and trying to put a 12 dollar an hour value on it.

back in the day i used to “joke” that I Will Bribe You Ten Thousand Dollars To Give Me A Job.

i guess i was being too generous. really I was ripping myself off. I should go no higher than Three Thousand.

shit i would take out a loan even. with like 5% interest hahahahaha. is that high or low. yearly. 5% yearly not monthly hahahahahahaha.

but yeah i wish i had done a lot more than 153 hours of actual Work during this time hahahaha. that is less than One Month of Full Time Work.  during like god damn 15 months. hehehehehe.

10 hours a month. good job neet loser hahahaha.

welp. applied for 3 jobs today. 10 pushups. might do 10 more because i at a HUGE dinner of a delicious steak and cheese sammich and fries. gr8 1200 calories right there m8.

i could never destroy or throw away a human life as casually as women can.

casual sex, casual life destruction. casual murder. casual abandonment. what does it matter. its just a human life. its cheap, disposable, easily forgotten, easily replaced again and again. this is how women feel about Human Life hahahahahahaha.

well if THATS what i think Women Think, NO WONDER I hate women!!!!!!!!!

when really its just not  true. there is SEVERE Cognitive Distortion going on here!!!!!!

so i am hating women based on Faulty, Flawed Logic!

kinda for the wrong reasons.

my logic is not logical, AND my conclusions that stem from that logic are incorrect!

therefore, all women are not cold hearted sociopaths, and probably NOT EVEN HALF are!

and her, she wasnt even being sociopathic, so why am i saying all women are? she was just being cowardly and immature and emotional, which most women ARE, and i guess you can mistake the consequences of this for socipathy.

heh. so the end result is the same as sociopathy, AND most women ARE like that hahaha. so they MIGHT AS WELL BE sociopaths.

yeah, but they dont MEAN to be!

and that makes all the difference in the world hahahaha. when your heart is slaughtered either way.

so theyre doing all the damage of a sociopath, but they dont have sociopathic INTENT. so again, wtf DIFFERENCE does INTENT make here?

ok the….well…..NOT ALL WOMEN will act in a way that could be CONFUSED for sociopathy hehehe. im just feeling burned by my most recent and most powerful experience. just fallout. i said it was gonna take at least 2 years to get over! and this is just all part of the process! TRUST THE PROCESS!!!!!!

interview tomorrow. i guess if i had two, even one interview every week, i might get used to it so that i could be DESENSITIZED rather than FLOODED, so that i could actually IMPROVE rather than losing whatever small gains ive made by the next interview. when i need to make gains and KEEP THEM in order to be GOOD enough to do good enough in the interview to get the job.

so FIVE states are gonna be voting on legal MJ in 2016. cali, ariz, mass, florida?? no not florida, but maine and nevada.  they are saying cali and nevada and maine are the best chances here.

i mean shit. i guess i will stop talking about that cuz i dont want to dox myself.

but i keep forgetting they have legal weed in oregon and DC.

but can you go into a retail store in DC and buy it?

i thought there was some ridic rule where you couldnt BUY or SELL it , but you could GIVE it away and accept DNATIONS.

read some articles, really sounds like legal weed in DC just SUCKS, they have dispensaries, but you have to have a medical card to buy from them. i GUESS you could pester the medical card people to buy some, then “GIVE” it to you.

lesson: just go to colorado, oregon, wash, or maybe cali or nev in 2017.

 

hahahaha they think this might be “crusader girl” not sure if it is, but i dont know any other 17f’s making pro-white videos.

oct 11.

i have a BIG INTERVIEW coming up in 3 hours and i am not even worried, which is tech good, but i am not even preparing, which is bad. its like i dont want the job hahahahaha.

i mean i never had the FIGHTING spirit, and i am USED to rejection, and not getting my hopes up, etc.

just so obsessed with women and rels i cant even think about the things that MATTER, like living my life!!!!!

last night i was of course thinking about Grabbing All Women By The Pvssy (hahahahahaha) no jk, but i was thinking, yes, INTENT DOES matter, because it means women arent SOCIOPATHS, they’re just weak and cowardly. but they arent SUPPOSED to be brave and courageous and mature, thats MENS job!!!!!!!!

but yeah intent IS important even if the results are shitty, because it means they arent shitty horrible people deep down. and THAT matters.

anyway. i gotta be careful with writing in this so much. sometimes its good, but sometimes its bad. it goes both ways. meaning, sometimes it helps me, but sometimes it hurts me. it harms me when i am saying all sorts of bad shit about women and getting into a Negative Thought Spiral hehehehe. Downward Spiral of despair and Hate and Shame and Guilt and Despair and Giving Up and pessimism and low energy hehehehe. that is very bad.

honestly i was having a ton of fun just DAYDREAMING about smoking MJ. like finding cheapest flight to denver, finding cheapest air bnb type place, buying an ounce of MJ, and just spend 7 to 10 days getting ridic blazed all day and exploring the area, mountains, etc, maybe go visit foreveralone george mcfeels hahahaha and record a few conversations with him.  and be like man, you live here, get yourself some of this stuff maaaaannnnnnnnnn.

or oregon or washington, whatever is the best deal.

then i thought, well, what if the next state closest to me legalizes MJ before my state does, would i be willing to drive to that state, buy a ton of MJ, then drive it back across state lines illegally heheheheheh i would be totes paranoid there would be cops looking for that type of thing.

but really i think using my mental energy to think about MJ is better than thinking about WOMEN, or DESPAIR, or THAT WOMAN, or how I am a huge failure neet loser who will never become anything. Daydreaming about MJ is more positive than ANY of that.

in fact I never do any “daydreaming” at all. this thinking about MJ is the closest I get to it. What I do when i think about women is not really positive enough to be called “daydreaming”, its more obsessing and ruminating and shit. its just back and forth and if i get conclusions they are not good conclusions. visualizing me smokin spliffs in the mountains is a LOTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT more pleasant.

that arguing in my mind all the ways women are horrible but its not their fault because either nature designed them this way for a Reproductive Reason, or the J’s brainwashed them to ruin them.

maybe i am not getting hired because i am not wearing a VEST with my suit hahahahahaha. when i got the suit there was a matching vest that i probably should have got because its basically the only chance to get a matching vest.

and having a vest can sometimes look very classy.

but honestly do you REALLY think it ALWAYS makes you look better in interviews?

powerful ceos and trump on tv debates, hes never wearing a vest. just a normal suit. and he doesnt look like an unhirable slob just because hes not wearing a VEST with his suit!!!!!!!!!!

so yeah i think this is faulty logic, that im not getting hired because im not wearing a VEST with my suit hahahahaha. besides it looks kind of ODD. like its a real weirdo autist wearing a vest. kind of like a bow tie, but much less phaggy and gay. phaggy yuppie hipster young urban professional SWPLs actually do wear bow ties with their Problem Glasses and Arm Tattoos to their Cool Corporate jobs.

if you move your hands and arms around alot when you talk, that makes you look less rigid and more normie. unless you go totally overboard with it. which i could see an autist doing. overcompensating. thrashing his arms around like a helicopter. that is just as bad.

sheeeeeit i might be OK with never having children as long as I made 30k a year in a job that didnt drive me crazy, and i could smoke MJ, and maybe bang the occasional young slut. bang a slut once every 2 months, how about that. i will continue to SUPPORT white families and white children, but why the hell should i have them myself if i dont have the money to raise them, and i cant get a woman worth having them with?

yes, it WOULD BE NICE to have children, but would it be the END OF THE WORLD if i didnt???

but in the absence of wife and children, i WOULD like to have good looking (7/10, under 30) sluts to bang on the reg.

but its kinda degenerate life eh, banging sluts and smoking MJ with no wife and children when you are 40, 50 years old?

yes it is. but i would accept that and find other ways to support the whites who DO have children. donate money and time to the survival and growth of My Race. and not tell my other racial warriors about my MJ habit hahahahaha.

see unlike technical J aaron clarey, i wouldnt be ENCOURAGING or BRAGGING about the hedonistic enjoy the decline poolside childless lifestyle. I’d say, this is NOT ideal, but I have come to accept my fate. so i will enjoy my life and also try to encourage a BETTER life among other whites. ie having children.  maybe i could have Foster Children hahahahahahahahahaha.

well, those cost MONEY too. and if youre going to spend a LOT of money on children like that, they SHOULD be your own.

basically, the amount of money I’d be giving to the Cause would NOT be enough to actually raise a white child with, becuase i wouldnt be MAKING that much money to begin with. i would make enough to support myself, muh degen MJ habit, muh little home in whitopia, and regular dnations to the white race, and thats about it. 30k a year. cant raise a family on that. not even on 40k a year.

yep this place is only 3.6 miles away, 9 minute drive, insanely close.

got the dress suit on now, yeah this shirt is too big. that is killing me more than not having a VEST is killing me.

great sense of judgment hahahaha. oh i can make decisions quickly and decisively. they just wont be the RIGHT decisions. this is why i am normally so indecisive hahahaha and have to PRETEND to be decisive.

welp had my big interview. it was ok. lasted 45 minutes to an hour. talked to a woman. she was ok. i mean they arent in ATTACK mode like a presidential debate. they arent looking to CRUCIFY you.

i did about the same as i always do. average. ok. was nervous and spaghetti spilling. i just start rambling like an autist cuz i figure its better than freezing. i mean i am just looking to make 14 dollars an hour like eveyrbody else. yeah well this job pays like like 20, 21 dollars an hour. DAMN.

i mean its good that i get interviewed for such high paying jobs! KIND of a confidence builder! but i feel I am only WORTH 12 to 16 dollars hehehehe.

well there is a second interview, with the CIO. we will see if i get invited to that. probably not hahahahahahaha.

well i survived through another interview at least.

also. i was watching that uppity negro trevor noah on the daily show, to get All Sides in these turbulent times, and hes making stupid jokes regarding trump being a bad man for touching women without their consent, this is literally raep, etc., its not JUST vulgar language but abusive actions.

ok lets say trump DID reach out and grab a woman by the Pvssy. and say that woman said ew STAHP you BAD MAN and slapped him and pushed him away. what do you think he would do?

he would back off and say oh ok, i see how it is maam. whatever you say. do you honestly think he would force himself on the woman?

BESIDES, the woman would be more likely to LIKE it and to accept his advances anyway. but if she said STAHP and pushed him away, i am CERTAIN trump would Respect Her Consent hahahahahahaha.

just like ANY man who engages in such Locker Room Talk.  I mean i say much worse things about women but i have never grabbed a woman like that, and if some woman told me to STAHP I would defintely STAHP. to a damn fault.

i am glad he has been able to get over this (well at least in my view hahahaha), it shows what a non issue it is. however if he were caught on tape using N bombs, that would truly be the end. and that would suck.

see its kinda like how most women have Raep Fantasies but they dont want to be Really Literally Technically Raeped, just rough secs with a handsome ravishing man. So why cant MEN have their own side of that “Raep Fantasy” where they like playing the role of that Ravishing Man who reaches out and grabs women by the Pvssy? it doesnt mean he’s going to or even WANTS to Literally Raep the woman!!!!!!!!! you fookin hypocrite liars!!!!!

liek none of you shitlib males ever did anything Shady With Women!!!!!!!!!

besides you wantt o talk about shady, look at these women racking up 5 new secs partners a month on tinder. as if you cant even get preggers from secs.

people acting so HORRIFIED. clutching their pearls. like they dont have NOODS on some dudes phone they dont even know, sucking dicks of guys whos names they dont even know.

well MAYBE i could make enough money to have ONE child, wouldnt that be ok? i mean yeah ideally i would have 3 or more, but i def wont ever make THAT much money. but it is a lot more conceivable that MAYBE one day i could make enough money to have ONE child. (of course i might never make enough money to even get married.)

and again i dont want to have children with somebody i am not totally in luv with. like i was with that woman. so finding a woman i luv naturally leads me to really start thinking about children. with this woman. not some random tinder slut.

and i would probably be okay with just banging tinder sluts from here till eternity, provided i had the basics of a survivable job, maybe muh own place, and a regular supply of MJ hahahahaha. i just cant get over that folks. i have to accept it. i dont WANT to quit MJ. says a guy who has smoked MJ 2 days out of the last 400 days or so. yet I THINK about it EVERY day. even though i NEVER smoke it. though i WANT to. EVERY day.

youd THINK i smoke it every day. but like i said. only 2 days out of the last 400 or 420 (hehehehehe) when i was on my little labor day meetup with the old friends.

but yeah MJ is the solution to all problems. it takes the edge off foreveralone, and heartbreak, and also on stressfull jobs where you feel on the verge of a nervous breakdown every day hahahaha. you cant go home and get drunk, but you sure as hell can get blazed every day, and it works pretty well!!!!!!!!

i mean I cant get drunk. plenty of people do though. i mean i dont know if I will ever be “OK” to drink again. and i am fine with never drinking again, but i am totally not fine with never having MJ again!!!!!!!!

another word for BEEF CURTAINS is MEAT DRAPES hahahahahahahahahaha.

maybe i need to find some alt right people who are tolerant of the degeneracy of MJ hahahha. pro-MJ alt righters hahahahahaha. theres got to be a few.

well thing is, i understand and agree with the standard alt right opinion that MJ is degen. i just refuse to give up that degeneracy. i think i know better. just keep it secret and dont tell my internet buddies who i dont even talk to hahahahah.

well one of my Personal Goals is to actually Physically Meet Up in Real Life with Alt Right, TRS, Daily Stormer people. Pro White, Right Wing, White Men.

i dont know what to tell you. yeah i could have been more electrifying today. hey you should have seen me when i was 18. i was a lot more charming. my shy boyish charm was endearing. now its just considered sad at best, creepy and weird at worst.

but yeah it sucks not being able to deal with life!

 

this guy talks like a phag and hes too successful and normie, but great example of blaming himself when his ex was really just a piece of cheating trash, and he blames himself that he was the bad guy and he made her cheat cuz he was too jealous, and he is still hung up on the woman.

 

oct 12

interesting incident last night at social game at pub, table of 5 men incl me and 1 youngish woman, gf of one of the guys. another one of the guys is “on the outs” due to general, prolonged drunken, annoying behavior and general cluelessness, bad fit, obnoxiousness. i tolerate him the best and just tune him out, plus i am not terribly offended by his jokes, plus i am closer to him politically than some of the leftist men.

we have been avoiding a difficult confrontation to dump him from the group. i am fairly content to just tune him out. plus i have more understanding and sympathy for him i guess. doesnt mean i want to defend him too strongly, because he should just pick up on the social cues, but that is not his strong suit, plus the drinking doesnt help.

some men make off color jokes and Locker Room Banter about women that Women can join in……while other men’s Locker Room Banter has a more anti-woman, mean, bitter edge to it. you can tell. stuff that makes women uncomfortable and sounds “Creepy” or “rapey” or “sketchy”, vs it doesnt. of course its way too easy to make women uncomfortable.

basically i see myself in the guy, we are both woman haters, and i totally understand and sympathize with woman haters. i know where it comes from and this is their way of Acting Out against the women who have hurt them or broken their heart in the past.

at the same time, i agree that women are entitled to be upset, offended,angry, creeped out by these types of remarks. they have less discernment in being able to tell is this man a violent abuser or raper, because really rapers and abusers say the same type of mean stuff (and maybe some of them dont!)

BUT I dont believe saying these type of Mean, Bitter things is a Slippery Slope AT ALL to eventually BECOMING a violent abuser. I could never live with myself if i actually abused a woman! I have no desire. I mean there is no chance it would ever happen. And I think this guy is the same way.

at the same time, i have a filter, i know what is appropriate to say, i KNOW my sense of bitterness is not very acceptable, so i keep it private, and if I were making Locker Room Banter about Pvssys, its gonna be more socially-accepted banter, with very good faith effort to hold back “i hate all women because they are stupid whores who deserve only to be brood mare slaves” type remarks.  even when i got sloppy drunk i dont think i said stuff like that. of course back then i was still a feminist hahahahahahahahahahahaha and total white knight.

well, i still kinda AM a white knight too! but def no longer a feminist.

anyway i can see how this woman is rightfully upset about this sloppy drunk guy making remarks to waitresses about Eating Pvssy or whatever. I think this guy likes to push the line with women directly in that way. tries to make women angry, so he can step back and be like whoa whoa whoa im just kidding sweetie, dont be so sensitive!

anyway the big diff here is, he pushed this womans buttons, and this woman unleashed on him, directly told him “NOT OK”, and also made direct reference to his Drinking and Sloppy Drunkenness and that the other guys just put up with you and are too nice to say anything (which is more or less true).

OF COURSHE he is a Conservative Trump Supporter who has dropped N-Bombs hahahahahaha. So the Leftist Element of our group views him as a Vile, Deplorable Racist, Sexist, Misogynist, Evil White Man. And I really should stand up for him on that front, and say you can be a good racist and sexist without being a Sloppy Obnoxious Annoying Mess!

i mean basically he says a lot of stuff ranging from groanworthy to downright cringeworthy. and of course cringeworthy can be seen by women and womencucks (hahahahahaha) as problematic, Hateful, Not Ok, oppressive, cis white male privilege, abusive, CREEPY, rapey, weird, uncomfortable, triggering, etc etc etc.

i mean basically i think if he’s gonna use borderline weirdish locker room talk around women, he has to be prepared for the confrontation by women. i think he might like it on some level. and see i dont do this whatsoever. i am so good with my filter that its not even a risk. also i dont really WANT to be a woman hater, but I’ve pretty much accepted it as something that im just too old to change, plus for me, its EASY to use my filter and blend in. even if i am tired or stressed or scared hahahaha. plus my personal style is very different. i am very cool and cold and dont rock the boat, and polite and uncontroversial, go along to get along, cant we all just get along, minnesota nice, cool as a cucumber, dont say anything that might be offensive to anyone. dont offend anyone.

and very few things can offend me. the “hateful” things this guy says dont offend me because i totally understand him. if i knew he actually beat or raeped women i would feel differently and be more against him. but i really dont think he does or has!

i dont like to push peoples buttons because i know its not gonna do anything productive. theres really no point. its a lose for me. there is no benefit or incentive for me. why do it.

it really is amazing that i have such a good filter, because basically all my thoughts are socially inappropriate. i mean how is the mask not slipping. how is there no chinks in the armour. but theres really not. the only chinks are, well, he’s a pretty quiet guy, and i have never really heard of him Dating A Wimmin, but he seems pretty nice. probably just a Shy Guy who doesnt have a lot of Confidence with Wimmin.

which is very very true! i mean that is accurate as fook!

and really i know Not All Women are like that. honestly when i get out in public and see normie women, i dont feel hate or disgust even though they might do disgusting things. and i care about that impacting the white race, but i am very good about Accepting People Where They Are and seeing the good in people. kinda surprising actually! this is very easy to do when i am with them socially. VERY difficult when i am by myself writing.

i really only get OFFENDED and BUTTHURT when somebody hurts me directly, and to do that, i need to have kinda a serious deep rel with them, which i just dont have with most people! the closer you are to me, the more you can offend me.

well, i also get offended by Customers thinking i’m Stupid.

and i get offended by women being sluts and babies.

but i can very easily hold that back unless they are being sluts or babies to ME. then i get PISSED. or DEVASTATED.

i mean i dont really DO any locker room talk anyway because its degenerate and pornographic. i dont get excited by banging sluts. i get excited by nondegen, nonporno stuff like a traditional white family, a loving white waifu, monogamy, loyalty, Mutual Support, cuddling, not Blowjobs from Barsluts in Parking Lots, or jerking off to Porno. which i guess makes me Weird among men.

my kind of Locker Room Talk would be, why are so many women such huge, disgusting cvm guzzling whores? and yeah that sounds hateful and creepy and bitter. because it is!

basically i should be happy and confident, because when i get out in The World With Women, I’m not thinking, look at all these DISGUSTING WH0RES, how many cox has she sucked, etc. I mean i think about it, but its way on the back burner, and i always give women the benefit of the doubt and treat them like Human Beings and I am NICE TO EVERYONE. Nobodys life is EASY. I pride myself on not being an OBNOXIOUS person.

if some woman has a huge slut past, well, thats her problem, not my problem, unless i am in a rel with her. yeah its the white races problem, but im not gonna FIX her right here and now. we live in a very degenerate society so as long as someone is trying to be nice to me and not obnoxious, im happy with that, on the short term, small talk, real world interaction level.

and if someone is being obnoxious to me, i just ignore them. unless i really care about their opinion of me, like theyre obnoxious to me because i am weak and pathetic…but i dont really get that hahahahahaha. only if i am trying to build a rel with a wimmin and she rejects me, which only happens like once every 5 years or so.

i realize that my problem with women is at least 50% my own personal issues with women, not just The Way Women Are. but There IS a way that women are!!!!! but i think my own issues make me think that this is worse than it actually is.

like i have very mixed feelings about this women, the Sensitive GF. i dont trust her, i dont trust her with him, i dont trust her not to break his heart, or to put in enough effort, or to be a good GF basically. i dont think shes a bad person but i think shes a little bit too crazy to ever have a good rel, and i strongly suspect Father Issues and very possibly Past Abuse issues and even more possibly Slut Past issues. i would not want to date her at all. although she is QT. and how would i feel if she were showing any interest in me. i probably would get sold on her, like her BF is.

but i still try not to judge her TOO much, and i think she is perfectly entitled to be upset and butthurt about what the drunk guy is saying, and to call him out on it.

she was worried about being Gaslighted as That Crazy Gurl. i mean i dont think shes an idiot, and she did have the right to stand up for herself and speak out against his Locker Room Talk which again, is the TYPE of locker room talk which really triggers women as being a Potential Threat.

what i’m far more concerned about is his Generally OBnoxious, Drunken, Annoying behavior, and the best way to address Dumping him from our group, vs just tolerating him to avoid that Very Uncomfortable Direct Confrontation. OBVIOUSLY direct confrontation is best. kinda funny that it took a timid quiet gurl to do it, rather than a bunch of big burly bearded men hahahahahahahahaha wimmin r so stronk and independent dont need no man, men are pussy manchildren pajama boi.

ok got in 1 job app today hahahahaha. hopefully a few more hehehehe.

got to go to job related TEST tomorrow. 9 am. yikes. a computer and software test. for the PT job that I already took a 90 minute written test on. and prob bombed because it had a lot of specific accounting question and since i havent taken accounting in 7 years, i cant remember debits and credits. but i got an A+ in accounting 1 AND 2. all that shit. bonds, stocks, debits, credits, cash flows, balance sheets, owners equity, reconciliations, depreciation, ledgers, journals, all that shit, i USED to know it. it is honestly a LOT of shit.

ldr. he wants to fight for it. he is very worried she just wants to give up and walk away without fighting.

oh you bad man. stop FIGHTING. its pathetic and creepy. just respect her wishes to say “meh” to a 5 year relationships. SHE KNOWS WHAT SHE WANTS. stop trying to COERCE and PUSH her. just accept youre getting thrown away like yesterdays trash. which you are. accept it. respect it. RESPECT IT.

ITS NOT POSSIBLE TO RESPECT SOMEBODYS DECISION TO TREAT YOU WITH DISRESPECT!!!!!!!

this is why i hate the phrase respect her decision. i was accept it, but i absolutely will not respect it.

well, woman haters like me always SEE disrespect where there is none, right. any time a woman doesnt agree with you and exercises her own will is  disrespect right.

fook you!!!!

of course no one is really saying that, except the fake fictional fantasy evil woman “Stereotype” in muh head. and real women arent THAT shitty. in my head there lives the Shittiest Woman who ever lived hahahahaha. the donald trump uncle adolf shitlord of women hehehehehe.  just the evilest, stupidest, immature, 6000000 foot cranky baby with a 60000000 foot flamethrower, the stupidest, the sluttiest, the most emotional, worlds worst woman, pandora, delilah, jezebel, eve. the worst of everything.

i do like how trump hates The Media. because how could you not. admonishing the shit out of these sleazy, low down, dirty, bottom feeding “Skypes” hahahahahahahaha. i wonder if this is a RACIST DOGWHISTLE that he is joo-wise. because people that talk about (((THE MEDIA))) like that are sometimes joo-wise.

well you think anyone that works in real estate in NYC is joo-wise!!!!!!

oh wow. he just said “believe me the LAST THING i wanna do is invade her space” in reference to the idea that he was LOOMING over her like a horror movie villain cis white male at the 2nd debate.  IMHO it is kinda cocky to say something like this (“he is judging her physical appearance and implying womens worth is only in the phsyical and again talking in aggressive terms about aggressively invading and groping women etc”) so it is pretty AWESOME that in a mere 5 days, he has completely BTFO’d the grab em by the pvssy debacle. i mean he is back at the top of his game after like 2 days of contrition. beautifully played don. no i am not joking!!!!!!!!!!

i hate that women are allowed to make so many mistakes, over and over and over and over again, about the men they fook, do the life creation process with, its ok to make tons of mistakes and never learn from them and never be responsible. NO.

ive made a lot of mistakes, but i never made a mistake about the women i was interested in. well, somewhat i did, in that i shouldnt have been interested in a few of them, because they were crazy sluts. but what was MORE compelling was that they were Young, Cute, I saw them Regularly, they showed an interest in me, and I talked to them fairly smoothly. shit, all that combined was more than enough to outweigh Crazy and Slutty. because its not like i had women knocking down my door. i didnt have a SELECTION, a CHOICE.

and this is normal, natural. WOMEN ARE THE SUPPLY, MEN ARE THE DEMAND.

so its a LOT more forgiveable when i “choose” a young pretty gurl even if she is tech a bad choice, because its not like i had a real choice. you go long periods of drought and then once every few years one woman pops up.

now women, they never have a drought. they have a pool they can pick from. so YES it IS bad that they keep making poor choices here. they have plenty of experience choice making. they make a new choice every few months. men get a non-choice popping up once every few years.  and also women can get pregnant, so the CONSEQUENCES of their choices are a lot more serious. so YEAH I resent them for makign bad choices over and over and over and over and over and over and never learning yet being given a new chance very frequently.

and it didnt always used to be this way!

i mean i cant REALLY hate women because theyre not responsible for any of this, the joos are. the joos ruined everything.

but honestly. how damn hard is it to keep your legs closed ya damn sluts????? so yeah i DO blame women for that. they arent totally helpless.

so, i hate women because they have hurt ME by beign crazy, promiscuous, immature, cowardly, cold, hehehhehe.

jeez the CEO of the bank i had the big interview for and job i really want to get looked at my linkedin profile cuz i looked at his yesterday. the fookin CIO or tech manager cant even look at my profile, but the god damn CEO. come on.

but like i say, when confronted with a real life woman who maybe has a past of being a crazy slut, hurting people, making terrible decisions….. i still treat the woman amazingly friendly, polite, non judgemental.

in other words, i THINK i hate all women, but i really just hate THAT Woman. and when i am alone and writing here, i think ALL women have the WORST traits of THAT woman. when its just not true.

also she didnt even have terrible traits. she had good intentions but not enough courage to do the mature thing. thats ALL. thats IT.

maybe it speaks to the disproportionate, extreme pain of “ghosting” itself? you might not INTEND to do it, but it can still cause a CRAZY amount of pain?

really this hadnt really been done to her. i mean yeah her father abandoned her but she basically grew up thinking he was a deadbeat. i think he appeared every once in a while but she never had a good, close, regular consistent rel with him, and i dont think either one of them WANTS to. he’s just some deadbeat who never really cared about her, but its not really a Total Ghosting, especially if they talk like once every 2 years or something hahahahaha. and also she was like a BABY when he left. there never was a time when he was around, being a good father.

her longterm ok boifran, he didnt Ghost Her. they just argued for months and then had a fairly mutual Break Up and continued to talk to each other a little bit afterwards. it didnt seem super hateful.

so yeah she didnt do this to me because it had been done to her. she just did it because she was THAT immature and cowardly that she couldnt handle talking to me WHATSOEVER. not even to send a text or email or have somebody else send a text or email.

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

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this is how women communicate hahahahahahaha

😂

hahahahahahaha the blacks love this one, and prob women too

👨‍👨‍👦

jejejejejejej

👦🏿🔫🌜

hehehehehe they would do this one on racist google hangouts sometimes hahahaha

so yeah really the bottom line, the takeaway is, i dont hate women in the real world as much as i think i do in my head. meaning, when it comes to these real sluts out there, i can view them as Human Beings and I treat them with Human Dignity hehehehe. I DO NO HARM to anyone. not nonwhites, not women. thats what antiracists and antisexists dont udnerstand. they think we are HATEFUL and want to HARM people. WRONG.

and then they say well youre being DIVISIVE. DIVISIVE. stop DIVIDING people and FOMENTING FEAR. LOVE NOT FEAR. stop this US VS THEM mentality.

no i just dont want weird violent foreigners in muh neighborhood. in muh city. or blacks. in the US we have a black problem and yeah that is related to Slavery. i still say, give em their own country in like louisiana or alabama or mississippi or something.

i mean right now, progressive whites are saying, yep its an objective fact, take a look at the balance sheet. whites have done more harm against blacks, latinos, nonwhites, whatever. whites are in power and whites abuse that power, and now they need to STEP DOWN and accept that nonwhites should have real power in Our Democracy, and also that whites have to make reparations, because whites did massive Crimes. and whites are STILL in power, and its only JUST to FIGHT that power. so i’m glad when affirmative action gives jobs to blacks and i dont get the job. thats a very unlikely situation anway. ive already got a good job. but im MORE than happy to start cheking and giving up my white privilege to make a more progressive, equal, fair, nonracist society!!!!!!!!

i know actual white leftists, this is how they think!

black cities are full of crime because whites KEPT THEM DOWN! whites wouldnt hire them for good jobs, whites wouldnt lend them money to start businesses adn create jobs, whites wouldnt let them live in white neighborhoods, redlining, blockbusting, thats why stuff like section 8 is a GOOD thing! white landlords not renting to blacks. the whites are TRAPPING the blacks, putting them back in chains!

this is insanely wrong and evil, so yes we must do our part to atone for these real sins!

ESPECIALLY if i take any pride in being White, then its even MORE reason to take responsibility for the BAD things whites have done, not just the GOOD things! (not that white leftists have ANY pride in being white)

why cant more songs on darkthrones new album be as good as “tundra leech”? that song is crammed with great riffs, and then there is a BIG dropoff. but that song made me think, damn this is one of the best Metal Songs of 2016. darkthrone STILL HAS IT!!!!!!! (not that ive listened to many 2016 metal songs!)

just have a LITTLE bit more black metal guys! or at least make all the songs as good as “tundra leech”! this is more black metal in the celtic frost sense rather than the transilvanian hunger sense.

(i am well aware “tundra leech” is a ridiculous name, but DT has been doing insanely ridiculous song titles since “straightening sharks in heaven” in 2004. which reminds me, “sardonic wrath” has an excellent production on it, but i can’t really say how good the songs are.)

so i guess clandestine blaze is the ideal replacement for darkthrone then right? i mean DT is obviously a huge influence for CB.

so yeah DT is always an interesting topic of conversation, really ALL their albums are different in some way, and fenriz would probably be a fun guy to Hang Out with.

but i also can’t understand making enough money to have children…..and then not having children, and living as a 44 year old adolescent. i mean its fine to listen to music, but music is his whole life.

but yeah same wiht like beethoven.

but beethoven was a little more Musically Significant than Fenriz tho, no?

sure……but fenriz is pretty damn significant. i mean he’s already left a legacy. maybe thats why he doesnt feel the need to have children. his music is his children! and it will live forever! ok ok i can get that, fine.

i mean shit. if i can come back to “plaguewielder” 15 years later and enjoy it, whos to say i wont be enjoying “the cult is alive” in 5 years hahahahha.

gotta get up at 615 am tomorrow yet i am doing social game tonight, wont get home till 1230 am, i mean if i had to WORK i would not do this! but i KNOW i dont have to be “ON” at my thing tomorrow morning. im not getting PAID. Im not WORKING. I guess it would be smart to Study for my Test. like what. study excel. study quickbooks. study accounting. study macros. just study shit for 4 hours so i can get 100% on the test. treat it like a College Maths Exam. I wouldnt be going out at night if i had a Math Exam the next morning!!!!!!!!

but i AM kinda butthurt at the org for making me jump through SO MANY goddamn hoops all the time. a 90 minute written test, a 90 minute excel test, and an interview, just to get put on a LIST for a PART TIME job. and then having to REPEAT this WHOLE process for every part time job you apply for. now its just like one every 3 months because thats how few job openings they have. im just sick of giving and never getting. going there to take interviews and tests for PT jobs every few months and NOTHING. like who do i have to suck off to get a PT job? how come stupid 18 year old gurls get PT jobs in certain departments? am i overqualified or do they just hate gaps? OR BOTH????

its a fact of fookin life, people get gaps sometimes. LONG GAPS. because so many employers are gapist hahahahahahahahaha.  but yeah gaps are literally the kiss of death and ive got it BAD. THAT WOMAN never had serious gap problems like i do. and people who dont have gaps just dont understand!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

yes, i address the gap directly in my cover letter. as of sept 2016 i do hahahahaha. i think this is a great move and i am grateful to the real life person who suggested it.

intimidated and insecure by Female Sexuality???

NO, I JUST DONT LIKE SLUTS!!!!!!!!!!!!! Theyre DISGUSTING!!!!!!!!!

well, their sluttiness is disgusting. hate the sin, love the sinner hahahaha.

besides, i can get along just fine with women who have had Slut Pasts, provided I’m not trying to Start A Rel with them.  I would intentionally keep them at a distance, but I wouldnt be MEAN or impolite about it!!!!!!!

but i dont really care that the waitress who serves me is a slut! if anything i think, that poor girl, she’s got a horrible job, i could never do that, i will be nice to her and give her a good tip. TOUGH LIFE. maybe she’ll find a good man some day. but im not interested.

but yeah nature and nurture. when you see White Trash you think, i KNOW whites can do better than this. so maybe nurture IS more important than nature. there are total white trash neighborhoods, areas, trailer parks, etc. why cant some of them Rise Above a life of drugs, single mothers, deadbeats, bad boys, white trash? or are they a lesser subspecies of whites that were Born That Way? Irish? Italian? Polish? hahahahahaha. Squatting Slavs? Potato Eating Potato Negros????

THE 40 YEAR OLD NEET

oct 8

so the left and hillary and cuckolds are so disgusted by what trump said about “WOMEN”, as if he is endorsing Raep, telling men to go out and grab and force themselves on women, msnbc literally called him a “SEX CRIMINAL”, wen the point is, there are women, many women in the world for which this talk is accurate. sluts that give it up easy and allow themselves to be treated like meat, and on some level they enjoy it. short term gurls. sluts. not the type of gurls you bring home, not the type of gurls you invest in or marry or make the mother of your children. funtime gurls. these are the type of women trump is talking about, not ALL WOMEN. there are basically TWO types of women, hahahaha. the madonna and the whore hahahahahahaha.

well this is WRONG, we have to accept that all women have BOTH the madonna and the whore combined. that the same woman who likes being Grabbed By The Pvssy by Rich Powerful Men (or pushy negroes) is the SAME woman you need to have your children.

come on. do you REALLY think trump raised his DAUGHTER to be one of THOSE gurls??? does he want his daughters to be grabbed by the pvssy? no! he didnt raise those kind of daughters. and look at his children, all his damn children, they are wholesome as fook, well except his daughter married a joo. that might be a little better than being a disgraceful whore though. i mean she can always divorce the joo, or renounce jooishness. you cant renounce 40 cox you took in your whore past.

best song ever hahahahaha.

it hit me in feb 2015 during a very low and stressful point. my confidence was about as low as it is now, but my stress level was much higher as i was working terrible job. confidence was low because essentially muh rel with the woman Had Ended. She was DONE but i didnt realize it yet, i kept trying to hang out with her. talk to her. not realizing how DONE she was. not wanting her to be done. obviously. so at the end of long horrible days i would get blazed and listen to THIS SONG repeatedly and it actually calmed me down.  it was a truly positive memory. smokin spliffs and listening to this song. i remember that ritual fondly, even as it occurred in the middle of a pretty bad time.

i guess that is how much i enjoy degen negro MJ hahaha.

now i am glad to be rid of all that damn stress, but my confidence is just as low, or lower, because it sucks to be thrown away like that, and it takes a long time to bounce back, and, just as important, is it REALLY wrecks the confidence to be a jobless bum loser who cant get a job and cant keep a job and is thrown away by a woman he loves who makes more money than him and now hes struggling like hell to get a damn job that makes way less than she does.  in the long run the long term joblessness is probably affecting muh confidence MORE than the shit with HER.

cuz it means i can be a basic normie and work like everyone else. everyone gets dumped and heartbroken….but everyone else also carries on and works like a normie.

its a sad thing when a woman crosses over from being a good woman to a bad woman. the two types of women. to see a woman Spoil like that, its very sad, right up there with Losing A Child, losing a family member, being abandoned, losing your Livelihood.

fasting today because i somehow overate two days this week. damn. cut muh weigh ins to once a week, saturday afternoon, and today saw that i was EXACTLY THE SAME as last week. damn. prob cuz i had two cheat days in one week. and lemme tell ya folks, the cheat days dont feel like cheat days. its a damn struggle just to meet the goal.

stupid nyquil. i mean you just feel tired and low energy and kinda despairing and negative the next day, thats what i really dont like about it. wish i could just do MJ instead!

this was another big album for me when i was 17 or so, and by far MDB’s greatest album. the one two punch of “the crown of sympathy” and “turn loose the swans” near the END of the damn album is just brilliant and awesome. MDB would never even come close, which is kinda sad. 23 minutes of spine tingling musical perfection hehehehe and they  have been around longer than 23 YEARS hehehehe. more like 30 years. scary.

mixtape 2016 hahahaha

good thing i dont have a bitch to share this magical music with and take away my ability to enjoy it hehehehehahahaha.

ok “the cry of mankind” on their next album “the angel and the dark river” does come kinda close.

and then thats it folks, thats all the my dying bride you really need, sad to say.

good fathers dont raise gurls to become the TYPE of woman you just grab by the pvssy.

no NOT every woman has a little bit of this in her. but too many women do because they have been poisoned by our sick, degenerate, JOOISH culture which has been rammed down our throats since the SIXTIES.

for TWO OR THREE FULL GENERATIONS NOW. people MOTHERS and GRANDMOTHERS were degen sluts.

transilvanian hunger at .5 speed on youtube hahahahahaha. now they do pitch shift it so that sounds pretty weird.

dont marry some slut that likes it when men grab her by the pvssy like a slut.

there are two kinds of women in the world. those that would make good wives and mothers, and those that dont. which kind do you think trump was talking about. what kind of woman do you want to marry. what kind of woman do you want to raise your daughter to be. 

i cant put it any more plainly than that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i dont use question marks because these really arent questions.

funny. i remember a time BEFORE  i was in luv with her, and i thought clearly: you know, we get along great, and shes a great person, i really SHOULD be interested in her, but Im NOT. she would make a great wife and mother. maybe I should just FORCE myself to try to date her and see what happens. or make a PACT that if shes not married by 30, we can get married and have children, i mean I could do a LOT LOT LOTTTTTTTTTT worse, so WHAT if i dont feel a SPARK and im not in LUV with her.

and maybe I did “force” myself a little bit…….but when i did, it started an AVALANCHE, and the REAL TRUE LUV this avalanche unleashed was REAL AF and has taken 15 months to get over.

lesson: when i was being COMPLETELY LOGICAL about it, I logically saw that she was a good Mate for me and good wife and mother material. But I whined that I didnt have Special feeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeelings for her. So I tried to FORCE myself to have special feeeeeeelings for her…………..AND IT WORKED “BETTER” THAN I EVER EXPECTED.

what exactly did i do that was so effective? i dont even know. I just THOUGHT about it. really thought about what it would be like to make out with or fook her, rather than just say ew weird and STOP thinking about it. thinking about what it would be like to cuddle with her, which certainly was never as “weird.” thinking about some other guy fooking her helped a lot too hahahahahahaha. if he could, why couldnt i, hahahahahaha.

honestly this si not so complicated. when she was with her long term BF, i respected their relship and there was NO QUESTION to me that she was OFF LIMITS. when THAT ended, she was no longer off limits. and her getting into a short term, degenerate dating did nothing to change that. I will respect a 5 year rel, i wont respect a few months of “dating.” besides, that ended TOO.

trump wasnt talking about WOMEN you dumb cvnts, he was talking about SOME women, a certain KIND of woman, the kind you DONT want to marry or have kids with. the kind you have Netflix Chill Tinder FUN with.

all these women getting mad are the SAME women who have been Grabbed By The Pvssy by Strong Men……and they ENJOYED it. although they might have felt shame and regret later when the strong man dumped them.

marry women and raise daughters who DONT enjoy being grabbed by the pvssy. marry wives and raise women that would kick that man in the Ballz and then who would tell her husband or father, who would then knock that guy out with a solid punch to the face. the end.

or i guess the woman could do that too, or taze or pepper spray the guy.

like james bond says, i am a gentleman, but i’m not always a gentle man.

not sure if that was james bond. but it could have been.

now james bond was a degen who grabbed more than few women right in the pvssy, including nonwhite women. they guy was a damn near sex addict muh dick negro!

anyway did pretty much a 24 hour fast, then ate a huge dinner that i wanted to make special, got a order of Curry Noodle from thai place for the first time in at least 9 months. it was great. i ate the whole thing hahahahaha so that was probably more than my daily limit of 1200 calories, hahahaha.

well i measured it out and it was like 4 cups worth of rice noodles, ridic curry sauce, and chicken. turns out rice noodles do not have as many calories as i expected. less than 200 per cup.

i suppose there could be coconut milk in that curry sauce, and that stuff is pretty caloried.

if trump needs vouching for this women remark, and he SHOULDNT, i think his daughters could do a pretty good job of that.  i mean all his children are huge winners and they all really need to be playing an even larger role. and i think they would all vouch he was a good father.

i dont even know why im thinking about it. well all these republicucks saying they are gonna write in pence instead of vote trump. never thought of throwing your vote away on a write in candidate. but is that a REAL risk with regular voters? i just dont know.

i mean at the very least we need to split the country into 2 countries, right and left, and then maybe the right country could further break up into Ethnostates, and the left side would become a big brown muddy shithole like venezuela or something. all the white leftists and mudsharks who wanted diversity and nonwhite dick would be welcome to go there.

oct 9

maybe we are reaching a time of such peak degeneracy that men simply dont CARE anymore that their GF has been with 30 guys. like yeah shes a slut and been with 30 guys but im a manwhore and ive been with 50 gurls, were all sluts nao, who cares, its just animals fooking, if it does work out big deal, ill find another slut, i mean long term rels are stupid and doomed anyway, ill just keep fooking sluts till i die, and its not like ill ever fall in luv, all these sluts are basically the same, you get bored of them after a few months tops. why would i want to get MARRIED to one of these sluts. and have children? thats too much responsibility, then i cant bang sluts, get drunk, plus it costs too much money, i dont have that kind of money.

yeah this plaguewielder album is better than i remember it! indeed does have a great ride cymbal sound! and yeah i like it when darkthrone tries to sound at least somewhat like a BLACK metal band, whereas lately they are more about being a “pan-old-skool-heavy-metal band” which is theoretically ok…….but i just want more BLACK metal in there: more black metal vocals from culto, more “blasting” (ie not super fast, TH style “blasts) from fenriz, and the more typical “black metal” riffs to go along with that.

i dunno the riffs sound familiar because i heard them 14 years ago or so……but now they sound better. really kinda weird.

on transilvanian hunger he does that same beat for the first 24 minutes of the 40 minute album hahahahaha.

its weird that reddit is so permissive for men to watch porn, like yeah its normal for all men even married men to watch pron reguarly. no big deal.

heh. apparently some people use the phrase “hooking up” and they DONT mean Secs. They just mean “MAKING OUT.” well just SAY Making out becuase i automatically assume its Secs. youre painting a negative picture of yourself. so when somewhat says hooking up, ask them what that means.

also what about women who Blow guys but dont Fook them? thats almost as bad in my book. do you want a gurl who has Sucked Off 40 guys? also, if a gurl will blow you, shell fook you. i mean a damn dirty dick in your mouth, thats a pretty whorish thing to do. good gurls dont suck dick before fooking the guy, and they dont fook the guy until they have established a monogamous official rel.

so a woman that jumps to suck your dick the same day as meeting you, holy shit. really signalling what type of woman she is then. thank her for it hahahaha.

i mean its really hard, and probably IMPOSSIBLE, to simply LIKE a woman like that.

so its heartbreaking when a woman you LIKE turns out to BE like that, and i really wish she werent. but she is.

and also you have 10 times the difficulty getting and keeping a job, and everybody makes more money than you, including women, and you cant deal with life at age 30 hahahaha.

even the 40 year old virgin was not a neet. there should be a movie called the 40 year old neet. maybe he would be a virgin too. or better, he had secs with one woman once when he was 20, and that was it.

ok trying to start a table of poker to get my mind off and its sunday and i dont want to job search hehehe.

ideally i would like to do MJ but….i gotta find a better way to Self Soothe.

and yes MJ is degen…..but so is sitting around in neet despair!!!!!!!!!!!!

and mj alleviates the neet despair and ALSO makes it easier to survive nonneet working life.

shit makes it easier to survive neet life too!

i mean really. during my darkest times, smokin MJ was literally a light in the darkness. a ray of sunshine. i still remember those times fondly, even though they were surrounded by even darker times. i get a ridiculous amount of fun and enjoyment and happiness from MJ that I just cant get elsewhere in Life, except by being with a Beloved Waifu. and I just dont see there ever BEING one of those again. ipso fatso, better get back on the weed train.

i mean i was

https://forum.grasscity.com/threads/medical-marijuana-card-and-background-checks.820024/

i could just get a job in a restaurant because everyone who works in a restaurant smokes MJ!!!!!!

hehehehe.

how about this. give the sleazy waitress at this semi sleazy bar “restaurant” i go to a big tip and ask her where i can get some MJ. i guarantee she smokes MJ and probably does other stuff. supposedly the rule is front of house does coke and alcohol, back of house does MJ.

holy shit lisa link this is life doing an hour on The Pickup Artist Community

now she is talking to a 45 year old virgin who feels there is something deeply wrong with him and he just wants a normal loving relship and to be normal and confident and have a GF and eventually a wife and not be a damn weak weirdo virgin.

the show gets at the idea that this is not about secs, its about something deeper:

Pick Up is not about secs, its about finding a damn WIFE or a GF, from guys who are so unconfident and social failures than they cant even get SLUTS to have Secs with them. And its clear they dont really care about the secs as much as just having a damn long term rel with a woman. But They Can’t, because they cant even talk to a woman, they cant even date the EASIEST woman.

Its misleading that the pick up leaders talk about sluts and secs so much, but the lame weak virgin omegas who are the Customers, they want smething much less DEGENERATE: they just want an actual REL with a woman, they dont CARE about secs with sluts.

but apparently you need to practice your social skill on sluts before you can have good enough social skills to get a nonslut???!?!?!

i dont know, i’m close to the level of these pathetic customers myself! the only difference is that i DID have secs with an easy slut, i apparently had the social skills at age 21 to do that.

but never again! and really that was just a combination of me looking healthy and young, and being DRUNK!!!!

now i look about 20 years older and i dont drink any more.

interesting to see this is still around in 2016, but i guess im not suprised, there will always be desperate unconfident me.

telling that they have the men do confidence-building exercises, like walking on coals shouting “i like myself! i like myself!” hahahahahahahahahahaha. this truly does strike the root of the whole thing, that these men totally lack confidence, and thats the ROOT CAUSE of WHY they cant get women.

once i learned that simple lesson, i lost interest in pick up and got to the real deep political and racial and moral shit hehehehe.

but i STILL have no confidence and STILL cant pull women and would STILL benefit from pick up artist techniques!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1

which is simply be masculine and be confident and you will get women. these arent really “techniques.” its a very natural way of being that its unnatural to not have those natural habits!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

who CARES if its “canned” if the women are responding to it and fooking the guys? the women dont really CARE!!!!! why should YOU?????

and women cant understand this because NO woman has EVER been THIS desperate and lonely. they can’t believe that another human being can get this bad. but men can! it so clearly points out the simple profound truth: WOMEN ARE THE SUPPLY, MEN ARE THE DEMAND, and woman just cannot accept that! well because it shows women in a position of strength and power and privilege, rather than a helpless victim.

what brings these guys here? BECAUSE THEY HAVENT DATED A WOMAN FOR THEIR ENTIRE ADULT LIFE!!!! 10, 20 YEARS OF LONELINESS!!!!!

one guy is handsome but a sweet niceguy virgin.

one guy was married but the divorce crushed all his confidence.

but all these men are lonely and want a real rel with a woman. theyre not antisex either, but they cant even get sex, cuz they are not confident or aggressive enough.

the pua vince something has some good lessons but he dresses in a ridiculous peacock style that undermines his credibility. why not just dress like a Rich Preppy. Brooks Brothers or something. none of this pink mohawk peacock shit.

also you will probably pull better wife tier women with the preppy A E S T H E T I C  anyway.

so yeah thats great advice for all neet virgins out there: dress like total Chad The Superrich Preppy. Look like a white man in a brooks brothers catalog.

so just build confidence in the men.

but WHAT BUILDS CONFIDENCE IN MEN?

BEING SUCCESSFUL WITH WOMEN!!!!!!!!!!!!

you can get some confidence WITHOUT women by being succesful in your JOB/CAREER (i and most neets are a total failure at this).

really the ONLY other option you can build confidence is by LIFTING.

these men are here because they are 29 years old and never had a GF and they are like holy shit this cant go on.

and sometimes much older than 29!!!!!!!

like we say, its not too weird if a guy is 21 and a virgin, even 23, maybe 25 at the latest. but after 25 it DOES start getting weird.

thankfully i stopped being a V at age 21, but I was more than weird enough, because i never really dated a woman by age 25, 30, etc. thats just as weird.

the show points out rightfully that men are becoming less masculine, more shy, etc.

this is very true, but WOMEN are also becoming more disgusting and degenerate and responding only to negro strongmen type masculinity. toxic masculinity hahahahahahahahahahaha.

women who have been with 40 guys and who have spent 10 years in relships just cant even relate to guys who have only been with 0-1 gurls and spent 0 months in relships. and vice versa.

of course i dont think these guys should be going to clubs either because these are full of nothing but degenerate gurls. i guess 1% of these gurls might be good women dragged along by their degen slut friends. well, with friends like that, it was inevitable theyd become sluts anyway.

besides banging 25 year old sluts would be good for their confidence, better than banging 35 year old sluts.

but yeah  i will give the tv show a littl crrrredit for realizing that its all about CONFIDENCE. because it really is.

i mean shit i wish i could buy confidence because its the most valuable thing a man can have.

well you can buy nice clothes and that does help.

well at least those guys, even the 45 year old virgin, had decent jobs. and a decent job didnt give them enough confidence to pull dirty negro fookin cvm bucket skanks!!!!!!!!!!! a good job didnt give them enough confidence to pull the cheapest, easiest, worst women!

also i think there is something to the “wolf pack” concept where average “beta” men can boost their confidence and “social capital” by going out in groups and giving them strength in numbers, that they might be able to Pull Easier than if they were completely alone.

so omega white men need to form GANGS instead of playing vidya in their basements hahahahaha.

just get some MJ and then invite Stoner Sluts to smoke MJ and then blow and then bang you. easy hahahahaha.

another great idea i had is that to find the more quality women on dating sites, you have to PAY for it. of course your competition i guess would get fiercer then, cuz its guys serious enough to PAY. also….if the women dont pay, wouldnt it be the same mudshark sluts you find on tinder or okcupid? but women shouldnt have to pay to be on a dating site! women are the supply, men are the demand!

well really women shouldnt be on ANY dating sites EVER for that very reason!!!!!!

so yeah i dont think i can really reach a conclusion here. either you will look better because the women wont be as bombarded with low quality men, so you’ll look better……..

or there will be a higher percentage of high quality men and you will look WORSE!!!!

so if you want to look better BY COMPARISON, then its best to go to free dating where there is a TON of shit so you can look good next to them! and the quality of women on ANY site, regardless of whether the MEN pay, is gonna be about the same!

so the REAL question is, are the WOMEN willing to pay to have access to the Higher Quality Men? and then you will pay to get into THAT pool.

because the goal is a high quality woman, not a low quality woman.

find a place that is is both a bar and a restaurant. then wait outside for the druggie degen workers to come outside for cig break. then ask them if they know where to get any MJ. give them 10 or 20 dollars for the info.

make sure the place is kind of sleazy and has some clientele who come there to get WASTED on cheap drinks. working class white people getting HAMMERED on 2 dollar big beers. and then they can order some burgers and fries to soak up all that beer and get food in the stomach to soak up MOAR BEER. then they stagger out, smoke some MJ, and fall right on their face and pass out and go to their Manual Labor Working Class Job the next day. that kind of place hahahahaha.

avoiding messages from their fat mudshark GF who eventually dumps them for a black guy, until they find another fat white trash mudshark, rinse and repeat hahahahaha.

what a life!

heh. i bet it DOES ruin a rel when the woman starts making more money than the man. never had that happen to me cuz i was never in a rel hahahaha but all the women i liked eventually went on to make more than me, and now, EVERYBODY makes more than me, and if i get a 12 dollar an hour job, most people will STILL make more than me, including women.

now im not talking about a situation where the woman has a medical degree and the man has a GED. then of COURSE she is gonna make more money than him. I ‘m talking about they ahve about the same level of education or the woman has LESS, and at the time they start their rel, they are making about the same, but over time, she just manages to fare better in her working life and get better paying jobs than her slightly-more-educated man.

like what happened with me and her hahahahahahahahaha.

sometimes i feel like my i dont want to say “hateful” but just disrespectful, contemptuous, chilly, cold attitude towards women, well if i feel this cold towards women, then what the hell does it matter if i look at porn? women are all dirty whores anyway!!!!!!!! i might as well use it to help me Jerk Off because I sure can’t think of anything real life to jerk off to!

so this is a slippery slope. WHAT DOES IT MATTER, WOMEN ARE ALL WHORES ANYWAY, and porn is a realistic representation of that!

well, WRONG, because even though normie women are huge whores, they are only HALF as bad as the whores in porno.

and its just harmful to the soul to watch porn and puts you in a degen mindset that is not good.

shit its better to just hate women and think all women are whores, than to WATCH whores being whores. i think i would just hate women even MORE and thats not good.

darkthrone. tried listening to “arctic thunder” again today. came out thinking welp the first song “tundra leech” is obviously the best, and i would be better served taking this reawakened interest in darkthrone and apply it to “mid era” albums: total death thru sardonic wrath. particularly, ravishing grimness thru hate them. 1999 to 2003, hahahaha. back when culto still tried to sound like a black metal singer and they still wanted to sound like a black metal band rather than a Heavy Metal band.

AND ITS NOT LIKE THEY DIDNT USE FOOKLOADS OF CELTIC FROST STYLE RIFFS THIS WHOLE TIME ANYWAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! they never ever really got away from that except on fookin “transilvanian hunger!”

so just have those celtic frost riffs with sick black metal vocals, and the occasional “second wave black metal” (ie transilvanian hunger) riff!!!! and that pretty much sums up the albums of this 99 – 03 period!!!! or even on panzerfaust, the two styles are separated out into separate songs. not sure they have to be THAT autistic, but im also not complaining about one of muh all time favorite albums!

and yeah it is disappointing when one of your all time fav bands stops being so damn good!

REALLY transilvanian hunger is NOT a good representation of darkthrones style. overall. and i wish it were!

also, why couldnt ALL the songs on their new album be as good as that first one?

and why couldnt culto occasionally do an old style vocal once in a while? not that what he does on the album is BAD…..but his older style was BETTER.

i dunno. i just dunno. i am waiting to read more reviews of this new album, but i think people are holding back until the official release date.

listening to other sorta recent albums culto has done with sarke and “gift of gods” and again he is doing this kind of groaning vocal and not his vicious Black Metal vocal. unfortunate!. sheeeeeeeeeeeeeit.

 

I DONT WANT A PRESIDENT WHO DOESNT USE VULGAR LANGUAGE TO TALK ABOUT WOMEN

oct 5 2016

sheeeeeeit.

ok. got up and prepared for day like responsible man: shower, shave, breakfast, brush and floss, tied tie, now i am just waiting until i leave in 53 minutes to drive to interview starting at 2pm.

tell them at interview today that if it get the job at the “bank” uhhhh i have to take it. that is the one with int on upcoming tues that i am all excited about hehe. i mean it is a patently better job, better pay, prob better benefits, closer, i’d be an idiot not to. any non-failing business would agree with me hehehe.

leave for interview in 13 minutes. all dressed up atm. ready to go. try not to diaerrhoea.

shirt is def too big. pants are….not too small but they are “slim fit” unfort, so they will ALWAYS feel a little weird. i honestly could not find an ok looking blue suit that was not slim fit. it was the price i had to pay.

yeah just the idea that you need 100% accuracy and no errors, the job is, this NEEDS to be PERFECT, not 99.9%, but 100%, every time, your job is to make sure its PERFECT. ok i get that. but what i dont get is that asking a more experienced person to SIGN OFF on this is considered time wasting and hand holding and youre fired. NO. it should be Best Practices and Standard Operating Procedure to have a “Team Lead” Sign Off on your work.

oh golly gee i dont know what im doing but i hope its right because our paying client needs this airplane door to be 100% or else it will fly off at 140000 feet and 500 passengers will get sucked out the door to their deaths hahahaha.

or this bridge will fall apart and 1000 people will die and its on YOUR hands, lowly level 1 guy, not the Master Engineer who YOU thought “should” “sign off” on such an important project. no hes got better things to do like get drunk at lunch and look at Prep The Bull and Trap Porn on his work computer and make 4 times as much as you.

later

welp did my interview. it was kinda ridiculous but not in a horrible way. mainly the guy double booked his interviews for 2 people at the same time, there was a white man also dressed in a nice suit, but he seemed about 5 years older than me.  but healthy and regenerate looking hahaha. very healthy weight. anyway this other manager decided he would essentially do the interview with me, so i started talking to him, he was an all right guy, but then it was like ok lets see if the original manager is ready to talk to you now. so i ultimately talked to TWO managers one after the other and the whole thing took like 1 hour 40 minutes. thankfully both guys were nice and the company and job actually seemed all right EXCEPT there is a kind of sales/incentive pay structure, but there is a damn 13 week training program and starting at 17 dollars an hour at that time, so…..thats pretty good. the guy said the guys here were very “BLUE COLLAR” and i said thats great, I come from a blue collar family and have a Thick Skin to handle Bantz and F-Bombs hahahahaha.

i said all the right marketing bullshit about the companys culture and values and bla bla bla.

there were some times when i stumbled and sounded like an autist, similarly to how i did yesterday, but just like the person yesterday, they didnt jump on me for it or even seem to care. so i spilled the spaghetti a couple times, NO BIG DEAL. and that is ultimately pretty encouraging.

there was a sales office right there and they are hiring sales people too. i said my background was more geared towards Service Technician than Sales per se, although I DO have very good Communication and People skills and like to Educate people hahhahahahahaha.

but they also emphasized they are an Ethical company and do not try to sell people things they dont need. Which could be BS, but I said, Good, because I’m a very ethical guy and I wouldn’t want to sell people things they really don’t need. which is NOT BS!!!!!!!

well i have been so busy interviewing i missed the deadline for a few jobs to apply hehe. have to keep a PIPELINE going hahahahahahaha.

one thing i did like about the job today was that they had a lot of training. a LOT of training. 13 weeks. they said a lot of guys were confident at 8 weeks and said let me get out there, the the company wanted to err on the side of caution. and make sure people passed tests and got certified for jobs where certification was not Legally Mandatory.

now they could just be bullshitting to sell the job to me…..but its pretty good bullshit! shit yeah tell me more about how you make sure your people are fully trained.

since it does get into incentive based shit after training, i asked if any of the people really struggled with that. the manager said everyone is doing well and reaching goals. and these are salty technicians and not born smooth talking salesmen.

anyway i hate the idea that a woman will dump you as soon as you stop showing strength. that she can need you but GOD FORBID you ever need HER. is this really the way women are and i just have to accept it? I accept that men are stronger emotionally and physically and mentally than women and that men have to do MOST of the work……but I don’t think women cant be capable of doing any work at all. so you have to support her always, and she supports you NEVER? thats fookin gay.

yeah well she never gave up and walked out when her longterm boifran was freezing HER out. but im not sure he was being “WEAK” though. he was being strong but silent hahahaha. well, he might not have been being “STRONG” but he wasnt being WEAK either. he was jsut distant and cold and stubborn. but she made a real effort with him at least.

so yeah she was capable. jsut not with me. because i was weak hahahaha.

i just HATE the idea that you have to be PERFECT or else they LEAVE.

but thats clearly not true! her BF wasnt perfect and she gave him MORE than a fair chance! many women stay with men who are VERY not perfect!

yeah but these men present as strong, and not at all as weak. they dont get nervous or anxious. they might get ANGRY at the women always wanting to TALK and DO STUFF and FIX stuff. but the men are not freaking out like a hysterical WOMAN.

oct 6

 

classic album here, if you dont like this album, gtfo. train your 3dpd fat slob to like this album as you bang her hahahahaha.

as a lifelong fan of srs metal, i have learned the important and mature lesson than women who like metal = crazy = bad (im talking about like serious fans of black or death metal, not they like a few random hit metal songs by metallica or pantera or slayer or motorhead or iron maiden or something, that should be fine).

but yeah a woman that likes the CURE, i would still be pretty impressed by that. even though im old enough to KNOW BETTER about being IMPRESSED by a womans MUSICAL TASTE. its a traaaappp.

i dont even think robert smith is as big a degenerate as most musicians, well, assuming from the fact that he’s been married to the same woman for like 40 years.

never saw the cure live and they are one of the few on muh live concert bucket list. note to self, if i have feelings for a woman, do NOT take that woman to the cure concert, because i wont be able to remember that as a good memory when she dumps me and breaks my heart hahaha. go with a male friend or alone.

yeah hard to go wrong with the cure. it is smooth and chill, and beautiful, and melodic, romantic, catchy, and also sad and emo, and spine chilling, and this album is probably their best moment. the Lush Beauty of “pictures of you” to the super catchy hard rocking of “fascination street” and of course their biggest hit “lovesong” which is a great song. i mean its impossible not to like and RESPECT this album. for any fan of music. if you dislike this album YOUR JUST STUPID.

yeah i guess if youre a total hipster you could say its too mainstream and overplayed. its def mainstream but is it REALLY overplayed? are these REALLY boring songs? these are timeless, classic songs that are played a lot for a REASON.

it IS a little LONG though at 63 minutes, where 40 minutes is the ideal album length.

working class men on Worksites listen to MUSIC all day as they do their hard work. i think this is very significant and worth some thought. if you are listening to music, it is harder to PANIC and be ANXIOUS and NERVOUS, and ALSO it means you are CONSTANTLY TALKING and thinking on your feet to come up with Bullshit Explanations for both your supervisors and your customers. that is EXHAUSTING. its like CAMPAIGNING for president and you have to talk and bullshit all day. i could NEVER do that, i dont know where trump gets his ENERGY, but its safe to say he’s always been that way, and some people just ARE.

heheh i forgot about the 311 cover of lovesong. that is tbh pretty darn good fam hahahaha. pretty secsy for blowing out your bitches asshole hahahahaha. because they LIKE being treated like Jooish Pornographic Filth. Absolutely Disgusting. BELIEVE ME, I would rather treat them as Fragile Flowers, because I HATE Jooish Pornographic Filth. Hate that Disgusting SHit that has RUINED Women And Men. words cannot describe the HATE. i dont hate nonwhites, i might not even hate joos, but by god i HATE the disgusting filth that joos have created! I hate the evil they have done!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

funny that the cure has an album called “pornography.” as an old man, this to me is AWESOME because that is an INCREDIBLY dark, despairing, nihilistic album, and I think this terrible feel perfectly captures the actual real essence of pornography. it is not secsy or hot and all. it is empty and despairing and nihilistic and soulless and horrible. i’m not sure if thats what robert (first name basis hahahaha) was getting at, but i like to think he was hahahahaha.

and yeah “pictures of you” is a CLASSIC FOR A REASON!!!!! and perfectly captures Lost Love and Heartbreak and Regret and embodies what i have felt for the past 14 months hahahahahahaha. thankfully i can enjoy the song on its own merits as a way to express a personal emotion that was unshared with her, hahahaha. meaning, im glad i never cuddled or buttfooked her while listening to THE CURE or this album, because then it would actually REMIND me of her, rather than help me Get Over Muh Emotions ABOUT her. in other words, the cure is MY thing and not HER thing, definitely not OUR thing. well she probably likes a few cure songs but we never shared any cure moments, thank god.

NEVER share things with women hahahahaha cuz then you cant enjoy your favorite music and movies when they break your heart and leave you. THEY WILL RUIN YOUR FAVORITE THINGS FOR YOU. i mean thank god i can still listen to neil young, but it took a while! TOO LONG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! yeah i mean you get over it, but it sucked that i couldnt even listen to one of muh favorite music guys for months!!!!!!!!!!!!

want to get out of house before noon today (oh god that sounds so lazy and negrish!!!!!!) and do some errands

also prep for autist aba job interview tommorow

AND apply for 3 jobs because i think about 3 decent jobs are gonna “expire” by tommorow

AND get good powerwalk

AND get 14 pushups

AND eat less than 1200 calories because i went like EIGHT HUNDRED OVER yesterday, oy vey.

uhhhh 14 pushups is a good baby step, but all together that is a lot of baby steps hahahaha.

ok went to store

ok called the interview place and stalked the woman who will be interviewing me, she was supposed to email me 2 days ago but it never went thru because she typed my hard to spell email wrong.

i called her and aksed for her hard to spell email and successfully sent a message to her hahahaha. thankfully she does not have a masters degree and seems like a nice person from the stalking i did.

ok got the shit printed out, hehhehe if you have to print out 10 pages of shit for every interview, thats 250 pages hahahaha. i have already bought 2 black ink cartridges and am burning thru the 3rd one pretty quickly. so stupid.

not going to get a ton of sleep tonight, might blank out and do a gary johnson aleppo moment tomorrow. that really looks bad. well if he can get to be governor, i can get a 12 dollar an hour autism technician job.

uhhhh applied to 2 jobs today but not 3. prepared my info sheet for tomorrow.

this org clearly has a problem with people not sticking around. prob because they quickly find better paying jobs. and they cant afford to pay them more because they are a nonprofit org. so they are angry about people getting valuable autism training and then leaving before 10 months. but i……

i dunno i just hate being in a job and saying OH GOD HOW AM I GONNA DO THIS I DONT KNOW WHAT IM DOING I CANT HANDLE THIS JOB OH GOD WHAT DO I DO OH GOD THIS IS RIDICULOUS WHY DID THEY GIVE ME THIS JOB OH YEAH BECAUSE THEY CANT FIND PEOPLE WHO WILL PUT UP WITH THIS SHIT FOR MORE THAN A FEW DAYS WITHOUT QUITTING!!!! WHAT THE HELL AM I SUPPOSED TO DO HERE WHAT SHOULD I SAY TO THESE PEOPLE TELL ME WHAT TO DO PLEEEEASE TELL ME WHAT TO SAY TO THEM I DONT KNOW WHAT IM DOOOOOOOOOOOING HOW CAN YOU PUT ME OUT HERE IN FRONT OF THESE PEOPLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i also worry that the “workplace safety” job will do regular drug tests because you drive a company van. oh god i cant drive a large van!!!!!!! what if the van breaks down!!!!!!

i think this autism job would be more fun and i would enjoy it more and also be able to SURVIVE and WITHSTAND it better, because it is part time and because it is sort of in muh wheelhouse. well i am more conflicting about wanting the autism job vs the safety job, however in the autism vs the bank job, i def want the bank job!!!!!

hehehehe this is assuming i get offers from both jobs in these situations. VERY big assumptions!!!!!

does that mean i had a good feeling abotu the saftey job? kind of!

and i have kinda a good feeling about getting the autism job.

REALLY? I have been REJECTED for ELEVEN dollar an hour part time jobs recently, what reason do i have to be optimistic about a TWELVE DAH PT job? hahahahaha. well because my degree actually relates to this job, sort of, where it doesnt relate to “office administrative assistant” job. which is stupid. i mean the better degree for that would be business. even if i have 30 credits of business classes. doesnt matter i guess hahaha.

shit they might reject me because ive never worked with CHILDREN before. let alone autist children haha.

i wish you could negotiate training wages. meaning i would gladly accept minimum wage for the first month or however long it took for me to be rejected from the other 2 jobs i am in contention for. so if i got one of those jobs, the autism place wouldnt lose too much money training me. cuz its a decent org and i might want to reapply with them in a few years. for one of their FT jobs that dont exist, yeah sure hahahaha.

oct 7 firday

752 AM

up real early today, like a real working man, currently dressed up and ready to go to interview, did not prep so well. as predicted, did not sleep well. well i was up thinking until like 130 am. thankfully i did fall asleep and I was in the middle of an interesting dream that i was scheduled to be part of the death panel on the next daily shoah with k1ke enoch and “sven” and i was like iii dunno guys, what the hell am I gonna be able to add to this, im gonna sound like an idiot, but im honored you asked me, i really like TRS hahahahaha. this is probably muh first TRS related DREAM hahahahaha. much better than having dreams about you know WHO hahaha.

ok. like i say, its a tough call between autism job vs safety job. for a normie, no its not, the safety job BTFOs the autism because it pays more, more hours, FT, established company, health care, bennies etc.

12 pm

welp did the interview, sent thank you note, recorded it as 95 minutes. spent an hour in there, but onyl about 30 minutes talking to them, and like 20 minutes filling out a damn application by hand which was basically a copy of all the shit i already gave them. i will never understand these stupid hiring policies. filling out shit by hand. unbelievable. told them about muh desire for FT. they were very understanding. talked to a Masters Level Psychologist who is about 7 years younger than me, oy vey hahahahaha.

there might be young 3 year old children biting and smacking and pooping their pants and i have to put diapers on them. i think i would rather do this than answer phone calls hahahahaha.

i dont fookin know man i just want a job where i can get help if i need it and i am not constantly needing it and not constantly fighting and struggling to survive every day. good god. the type of exhausting, nervous struggle where you feel like you need to chug Whiskey straight from the bottle at the end of every day.

hehehe normal life is at least 2 to 3 times HARDER for me than for normies. not that normies have it easy! but the basics of Holding Down a Job and Banging A Bitch, those are at LEAST 3 times harder for me. lots of fear and failure hehehehe. lots of time wasted. lots of not getting anywhere.

on the degen show “better things” which im not sure why i am watching, well because i want to see a degen single mother raising degen girls, its really all about degen women, and is kinda like “GIRLS” in that regard. no husbands or fathers, mothers a whore, her oldest daughter is 16 and beautiful and is becoming a whore, the middle daughter is an autistic ocd 13 year old lesbian, so i guess all that is enough to sell me.

recent episode focused on the 16 year old daughter worried about her future, going to college and all that, what am i gonna do with my life, her high school guidance counselor says no ivy league for you, you shoulda started prepping for that a few years ago, might not have the grades for a good state shool, have you thought about community college?

now the red pill is that community college is awesome but it DOES have a reputation as for underachieving losers, so when you’re in high school, you shudder at the thought. then when 10 years later youre still a huge loser, you think, welp, i have been humbled, time to go to CC now that real University did not work out.

anyway the girl is very anxious and despairing and I totally related and found this storyline very compelling. i guess she smokes MJ and does not get 4.0 grades. dont know if she is a huge horrible slut. PROBABLY, knowing this degen show.

because they show the girl sitting with her degen mom and the degen moms friends all sitting around drinking and talking about ABORTIONS, like how many abotions you got, tell the story of that abortion, and i was like, they are trying WAY too hard to make this show edgy, and what EXACTLY are they trying to say? they were clearly trying to be provocative by having such a “FRANK” discussion of abortions while CHILDREN were amongst them, as if to say, this is NORMAL, this is not a big deal, we all have abortions, and you’ll get abortions too, its just a fact of life, rite of passage for a woman, dont be ashamed of this, its good to be pro choice, and if you get knocked up when you are having fun with Secsy Boys, you can and should totes get an abortion too.

so i felt sympathy for this poor girl just about to become a Woman, and that she was so FOOKED because her mother is such a damn baby murdering degenerate. so the beautiful 16 year old gurl is gonna become a slut REAL soon if she isnt already, prob lose V to badboi, then quickly start riding C carousel, throwing a bunch of betabois away, probably start cheating, not take secs seriously, not take human life seriously, the way she THROWS LIVES AWAY, develop 10000 C stare, never be able to have a serious rel with a man, just like her crazy whore mother who cant love a man either.  but is this “beautifully flawed” woman trying to raise 3 young daughters as a Single Working Mom who is very open about Secs and Abortions and Being Tuff and You Do You Grrrrrl.

and its NORMAL to be a slut and cheat and break hearts and throw people away and get abortions, sex is FUN FIRST and if you get preggers, no big deal, get an abortion, WEVE ALL DONE IT. and sometimes you just wanna get fooked, and if the guy is a sensitive virgin type an gets feelings, AW, TOO BAD SO SAD, its ok to Dump and Ghost him because you just wanted to Get Off.

and we are beautiful in our flaws and we are gonna be as flawed as possible.

and i like the show for confronting Real Shit, but i hate it for taking the wrong opinion on this shit. while at the same time having some good and sympathetic characters. i mean i dont even really hate the mom. but i should.

to make her daughter feel better, the mother took her to the store and made her dress in a Ladies Business Suit, and said there you are, you look just like those successful peopel who have their shit together, youre no different than them. it was actually sort of touching even though she should not be so worried about career and shit. she should have a good father who helps her find a good husband.

i mean the show could have pushed more Red Pills about You Dont Have To Go To College. Go To Trade School or Community College or Military.

so they talk to a bank teller and mom says do you have any college, teller says no just a GED and i started this job at age 22 and im 25 now.

this could have opened a real good conversation but they just left it there.

so do you portray the bank teller as a failure because they didnt go to college? no not at all, which i liked.

i would have liked more if they had a 30 year old with a masters degree living with his family because he is still trying to pay back 200k in student loans hahahaha and he’s done, he’s finished, given up on life, i’ll never get anyway, i wish i could have a family but i’ll never afford it, and i havent dated a woman in over 5 years hahahahaha. that would have been some great black pill shit.

basically, college educated 30 year olds who cant afford to move out hahahaha because they are only making 12 dollars an hour and are 80k in debt for useless college hahahaha.

tfw when you see a picture of FENRIZ when he was very young, like 20 or 21 or so, and realize he sort of reminds you of THAT WOMAN.

I was completely in luv and wanted to marry and have babies and spend muh life with and was devastated heartbroken for 15 months over a woman who looks like FENRIZ.

fenriz is currently 44 years old as is nocturno culto. culto has 2 children a son and a daughter. i do not think fenriz has any children. not sure how old cultos children are. i hope he is a good father to them.

but yeah there are like 2 pictures of 20 year old fenriz where he kinda looks like That Woman. so weird. i told you she was kidna weird looking hahahahaha. but like fenriz, she had nice long dark hair.

so darkthrone was offered 200k USD to play a festival for one show and they REFUSED. hell yes that shows some serious “INTEGRITY” but at the same time i have to think, you’d have to be stupid to turn that down!

Should a man with CHILDREN turn down 200k for 1 day of work just because of his artistic integrity?

basically I give them a PASS, and I think its kinda STUPID for a man with a FAMILY to turn that money down. even if you dont have a family, you still need money. maybe fenriz has bastard children he needs to pay child support. (speculation). maybe fenriz wants to take care of his aging parents. TAKE THE FOOKIN MONEY GUIZE.

heh. most people just like the music and dont really care about the people behind it.

I dont really care for the music and i am MORE interested in the PEOPLE behind it hahahaha.

i mean the story of these guys lives is WAY more interesting than listening to “plaguewielder” or “the cult is alive” hehehehehehehehe.

i say this because i am sort of excited about darkthrone again due to their brand new album which I am going to listen to today on powerwalk hehehe.

did 3.2 mile, 1 hour powerwalk, my normal walking pace is 3.2 mph and i am happy with that.

listened to new darkthrone album. it has great sound/production and is perfect length and it is not all ridiculous, but uhhh i was hoping it would be a little…..better hehehehe. i mean its no panzerfaust. i mean you can tell they are both enjoying themselves, theyre not just going through the motions, so i think a large part of the prob is me simply not being able to appreciate “new” music.

its hard to get the interest of women when you MAKE LESS THAN THEM. of course im talking about money. basically the only people that I make MORE than are total white trash and negroes hahahahaha. at least when i was making 30k, i was then good enough to pull white trash waitresses and such hahahahaha. and that was the best money i ever made in my life! when i was making like 12k a year, i was staying sane but what the HELL can you do on 12k a year? cant live, cant have a family, cant do anything. cant have a serious rel with a woman. i guess you could bang sluts because you sure arent gonna KEEP any women making only 12k!

wow she dumped him SUPER BAD, super insult to injury there. why do people do this? why do you HAVE to add insult to injury? i mean if i were this guy i would be devastated, my confidence would be CRUSHED for at least 15 months hahahahaha. this type of thing will DESTROY a guys confidence for a LONG time.

also when someone throws you away, people advise you, they dont know what they had, in 2 months they will miss you and be begging for you back. dont take them back. be better than that. they took you for granted the first time. dont give them that second chance.

and that def never happened here. she left me and NEVER looked back. feels bad man! that might even be worse. i wuld def forgive and take her back once. and if she pulled the same shit twice (like they often do) then i would kick her ass out (probably not hahahahaha). but she didnt even come back.

but i am doing my interviews so thats as good as i can ask. i have done about 36 hours of interviews roughly. i guess it would make sense to do 40 hours of interviews. maybe what the lord is teaching me is how to get good at interviews. thats the lesson for this 15 months of pain. how to do interviews. sheeeeeeeeeeeeit.

but if i dont have an interview for a week, then i feel like i lose all those gains. and i need to have at least 2 or 3 interviews a week to get better. kinda like lifting hehehehe.

heh 330 pm and could totes take a nap. cuz i got up at 615am and did not fall asleep till 1 am.

 

super lengthy autistic post but an in depth picture of someone who actually DOES go to a shrink, and both people are willing to go to shrink, and it doesnt really improve things hehehehe. she still blames him.

but yeah he does seem too damn autistic and that is probably a problem.

also yeah she probably IS “depressed” but she should get that diagnosed well before 28. I sure did! because i was trying to improve myself so i could live a normal life with a job and a GF one day.

and good on this guy for improving himself from a fat virgin to an in shape, masters degree, successful, hardworking, guy with a GF. but he is still anal and autistic in a way that will hurt the rel, just as she hurts the rel with her “depression” and lack of interest and effort.

this album is regarded as DT coming back from a perhaps 3-album slump from 1996 to 2003 hahaha. fenriz said he was very derpressed and i guess was feeling better by the time of this album. and he was thankful to culto for essentially keeping the band alive during that time.

anyway i remember i actually bought the “plaguewielder” cd (used) back when cds were still a thing. i was like uhhhh this is not the greatest. and that was pretty much the end of darkthrone for me hahahaha and i never gave “hate them” a chance. i did give “sardonic wrath” a try and actually kinda liked that one. that came out following hate them.

anyway just trying to say i prefer this kind of vocal from culto. the hateful trve black metal vocal rather than the more i guess celtic frost vocal he’s doing now. which is not bad mind you, but the older vocal is better.

i mean there is no competition hehehe. however “boring” darkthrone may be, culto gives a Master Class in how to do good vocals.

62.9% labor force participation rate? that cant be good, unless labor force counts super old and super young people….which it probably shouldnt! and honestly i dont think it does. labor force is work age people. like 18 to 65 or whatever.

oh you know what i am not even gonna shit on plaguewielder anymore. it has shitty artwork but it sounds pretty similar to hate them with the riffage and sick vocals. also culto thanks tom waits on his short list of inspirations and shoutouts. in 2001 before i even knew who tom waits was unfortuantely. did not discover waits until 2003 or 4 at the latest.

also there are “blast beats” on these albums where i haven’t heard them on the newer albums. come on. you gotta have that.

trump scandal of him using “vulgar language about women.”

I DONT WANT A PRESIDENT WHO DOESNT USE VULGAR LANGUAGE TO TALK ABOUT WOMEN!!!!

crude comments in 2005 interview about tits and pussy and whatever. who cares.

well, i kinda care if he is cheating on his wife, but not sure if he was married to her by then.

cuz its not cool to cheat on your wife but he has dealt with his fair share of gold diggers so.

i mean this is fooking stupid and i hope it doesnt COST HIM the election just because WOMEN will be so butthurt. and women shouldnt even be able to vote hehehehehe. but people have short memories too.

even the circle wagons album does not sound BAD. it is quite rocking as a matter of fact.

lesson: even the “worst” darkthrone albums are pretty good.

i would have preffered that he make super racist comments about mudslims or blacks or especially joos. that would be SWEET. BUT, that definitely would have killed his chances 100%, and that would NOT be good.

i like that he didnt apologize THAT much. hes not begging for forgiveness, and kinda saying this is not a big deal. cuz its really not. but i really dont know how real women will take it. i know that msnbc is up in arms hahahaha.

why not criticize the hollywood host billy bush for being an enthusiastic participant in the conversation.

QUOTE

It’s foolish to take the Blackpill with regards to women. It makes you settle for low quality sluts and degenerates. Do you want them to be the mother of your children?

I was in a bad place in 2011. I was dating a used-up slut whom I had nothing in common with. I was struggling to finish school and leave the comfy world of NEETdom. I had gotten into reading ‘The Red Pill’ and that middle eastern rapist Roosh, and my opinion of women was extremely low. Thus, my expectations from women were low.

This girl was a degenerate waste. She was pretty enough, but was a complete slob, and nearing the end of her 20s. I knew she had dated around, but the extent of the rot was what really got to me. The day I left her was when I attended a ‘party’ with some of her friends, only to discover she had f00cked literally 8 of the men at the party. Her total number was somewhere around 35ish men. One of which included a ni99er. Disgusting. I drove off, deleted her from Facebook and Skype, and washed my hands of her.

I was lucky to get out of that mess with no STIs. I pulled myself out of this depression and blackpill by lifting and travelling, and completely tossed out the ReturnOfKangz/rOOSH shit. Some of the techniques are useful, and yes, 90% of women are somewhere on the whore spectrum, but 10% of girls is still a HUGE amount of people.

On one of my trips, after a year of lifting and healthy eating, I met a complete QT3.14, 10/10. She was introverted, shy, but extremely moral. She was 6 years younger than me, intelligent, had a similar genetic background, and was a fucking virgin.

Married her 2 years into the relationship and it has only gotten better.

Lift, have confidence in your self, resist the blackpill, and you will find extremely high quality women waiting for you to wife them. Let the f4ggot numales clean up the algae of used up whores. WILL TO POWER BRAH

END

i am risking getting banned for posting private forum material here, but uhhhh i wont say what forum i got it from, nor who said it, but i am trying to share an awesome WHITE PILL here: a neetish man was dating a dirty slut, then he turned his life around and married a nice virgin waifu. GOOD FOR HIM. this is EXACTLY the stuff I need to read a LOT more of…..but i’m not finding a lot of it. not enough.

nyquil and coffee combination hehehe. again went way over calorie limit. soooooo easy to eat over 1200 cals.

yeah why shouldnt i link this already.

this and TH are muh fav DT albums. and this one is more “fun.” not sure why the vocals are considered controversial. i think they are great although perhaps mixed a little loudly. the riffs, songwriting, and production are all top of the line, and there is a ton of nostalgia with this album, as it was a big part of muh adolescence at age 18 or so. this is a pretty kewl album to have as your theme music at age 18 hahahahahahahaha.

“quintessence”, come on. probably the darkthrone stairway to heaven right there.

but yeah. a lot of people are interested in things they dont really participate in. politics, professional sports, tv shows, religion. but no one is interested in “relationships” as like a main interest they way I am, apart from WOMEN who are always GOSSIPING. I truly do like to gossip, but I like even more to study and understand the relationships.

its like watching from the sidelines and commenting but never participating. but thats the thing: is that normies DO participate, quite regularly, and dont really comment on it at the same level as I do, just gossip, say whos fooking who, whos dumping who.

and even people who are obsessed with sportsball and watch pro sportsball but are too fat and soft to actually play pro sportsball still often play amateur sportsball or fantasy sportsball.

i dont play Fantasy Relships, although maybe in a way I do: by having these one sided things where I have the relship all in my mind and it does not reflect reality at all.

nyquil makes me unable to think clearly and articulate and be persuasive. still i wish i just had some MJ, i would LUV to smoke a bunch of MJ on a friday night like this and listen to DARKTHRONE.

“the hordes of nebulah”. i used to think this song wasnt as good as the 2 before it, now i see i was wrong hahahahaha. truly a MAGIC album and i wouldnt EXPECT darkthrone to ever capture this kind of lightning in a bottle quite the same way ever again. you cant. again a large part of this was my own age at the time. but this is gonna be one of those albums that i enjoy thru my entire life hahaha. share with muh waifu and children and they will say damn what a badass!

anyway it is just “funny” and mostly sad that i spend all this time and energy and interest thinking about and analyzing Relationships, general and particular, myself and my fantasy rels, others and my perceptions of their real rels, and i think i have the tools and skills and knowledge to be real mature and good in a rel…..but my weakness is the BEGINNING. I cant get it STARTED for various reasons. cant spark the kindling and get the fire going ever.

large part of that is because i am scared to “apply”. at least with jobs i am putting out 450 applications, doing 23 interviews. if i were doing that with WOMEN, i WOULD have been in a real rel by now, or at least had a near normie level of secsual satisfaction. or, hopefully, i would say THIS IS DEGENERATE, I’m not gonna do this unless its in a real rel with a decent woman, fook this banging sluts shit, leave it to the degenerate hedonist nihilist abortionists.

fenriz did recycle the classic “quintessence” riff on his storm “nordavind” album which was recorded in late 1994 while panzerfaust was recorded in early 1994 hehehe.

they got the qt gurl kari rueslatten to sing on the album (from 3rd and the mortal, really need to dig into them more) and supposedly she was very upset and felt betrayed by fenriz because he changed a lyric at the last minute to say something like “death to every man who does not hail the fatherland!” which she felt was ebil racist. and i bet fenriz is not a racist. shit i wish he WAS. he SHOULD be. and poor kari felt horrible guilt after that and betrayed by ebil fenriz. hahahahaha i wonder if he fooked her. the dirty slut hahaha. see this ALL comes from the root cause of my degen pornographic view of women as sluts to be fooked. this is from watching way too much pron, so shame on me. but also shame on women for willingly BEING like that. they dont have to BE sluts, even if the girls in porno are.

and because kari was a beautiful young norwegian gurl with beautiful long hair, i dont WANT her to be a slut.

i want to read more stories of women who are DIVORCING or DUMPING their men because oh god hes a TRUMP SUPPORTER. but r/relships does not allow overtly political topics.

i would think being married and especially with children makes women less leftist catladylike. so they will say oh yeah trump is crude but oh well hes still better than hillary so im still voting for him.

whereas its the C carousel sluts and catladies who will be most offended, and they werent voting for trump ANYWAY.

in other words, its not gonna lose him any votes. its not gonna make anyone who has already chosen trump, say, oh NOW he’s gone too far, and i am changing my vote to HILLARY? i cant imagine him honestly doing any of that. even if he said GTKRWN 1488, which i would luv, people would still say, yeah im still not voting for hillary.

however it will make the hillary people all the more SHRILL and ANNOYING and that might push undecideds towards trump.

undecideds tho? and couldnt this push undecideds to hillary? sure.

BUT HOW MANY UNDECIDEDS ARE THERE REALLY?????

not very many imho. i play it down because i hang out with people who would be MORTIFIED that they have even ONE trump supporter in their friend circle. so i say stuff, ah well, its a classic lesser of two evils thing, i dont really like either of them, but im really dont like hillary, yes i agree with you trump is not super presidential but im a moderate centrist and hillary is just too left for me, so, i have to vote for trump. that kind of waffling shit. actually i wouldnt even confirm i was voting for trump unless i was with some trump voters. thankfully i know a few.

7000 words? damn.

but yeah its funny. i analyze and think about rels like An Interest Or Hobby but never actually participate, when most NORMIES DO participate and dont analyze them to the same level, its just a normal part of normal life, dont overthink it, its not something interesting like football or tv hahahaha.

well to me it is!!!!!!!!

and women arent much better than men. they gossip a lot more about rels but are even WORSE at analysing, understanding, and workign with them. men could at least have a good chance at reasoning their way through them if they tried.

but you cant REASON with women. its like REASONING with a drunk 50 foot baby with a flamethrower. REASONING with a damn tasmanian devil. you cant reason somebody out of something that they didnt reason themselves into, hahahahaha.

YOU CANT CALL EM TRAITORS WHEN THEY NEVER HAD ANY LOYALTY TO BEGIN WITH

july 21

sheeit. gonna bite the bullet and install windows 10 already. this isnt gonna go away and its got pretty good reviews, safe to say it is rather windows 7 like, and not windows 8 like.

i mean when huge businesses innovate it SHOULD mean a better product….but it DOESNT. its always a damn gamble.

i dunno. its clearly better than windows 8. but thats not saying much. is it better than good ol windows 7?

well uhhh it will allow me to learn windows 10 in case it gets used in business hahahaha.

if it REALLY sucks i have 30 days to switch back.

but i mean microsoft will continue supporting and updating windows 7 for another few years right? just like they did with XP. they updated XP until damn 2013 or 14.

i might take a real /r/theredpill view towards women here for a few years, just real cynical and woman-hating, women are nothing but bitches and whores,

ok about 80 minutes later, have successfully upgraded to windows 10.  yeah it looks kinda dumb, i like windows 7 better hahaha but at least it saved my shit and i didnt have to reinstall everything and i could get right back into chrome and write about my neuroses and failures and shortcomings very quicky hahahaha.

ok. so just be hateful towards women. got it. down pat. you can trust me. i have been hating women for YEARS hahahaha.

i mean they are more irresponsible than ingra children. accept it, or get assmad about it. you can never change it. all you can do is be a power, authoritative, commanding LEADER of women, and unless you are willing to do that “extra” work, you will never be with a woman.

so i will be theredpill but with a few important differences: I am staunchly pro-white, i am pro-white above all else, I am basically a white nationalist, that supercedes and overrides theredpill (not to be confused with The Red Pill, hahahaha) when it needs to. also white women are needed to have white children, white families, so women are important in that regard.

you can have a good woman if she gets married young as a virgin, has several kids young before her career, and devotes herself to homeschooling those children. and by age 25 she has at least 3 young children and is doing that and has only ever been with ONE man, her husband; and she went straight from her father’s care to her husband’s care.

hard lines. NO HYMEN, NO DIAMOND hehehehe. ONE guy is too many. If youre not a virgin, youre a WHORE.

and plenty of redpill and mgtows and even more extreme woman haters would say this isn’t enough, this is SOFT, because ALL women are whores, and you shouldn’t want to have children with them, stupid goyim. just bang sluts and enjoy the decline.

well i say bang sluts too, but don’t let this sidetrack you from having children.

if you are a powerful enough man, you can afford to have children with whores and still raise them up good. look at GLORIOUS GOD EMPEROR TRUMPENFUHRER. he married a series of gold digging whores but still had many healthy, strong children. well except for his race traitor daughter hahahaha. but his sons turned out GREAT.

also I think his current marriage will last the rest of his life and that she wont try to extort him.

how did his divorces go with those other bitches? I imagine he would AGGRESSIVELY defend his assets from their treachery. did that work out? He can certainly afford top lawyers.

and who do you think has more influence on the children? the flaky bitch mother, or DONALD FOOKIN TRUMP???

Ideally he should have married more traditional women who were serious about being loyal. i think he might have got that with the current wife. hopefully. having a young son never hurts either.

also he made all his kids work in his company from a young age and gain a good work ethic. this is great.

the only place he screwed up besides marrying gold digging whores, was not keeping his daughter from marrying a j00 and damn converting to jooism. bad move don. he’s a smart guy, he HAS to be joo wise, of course he can never SAY anything. maybe he’s playing a long con here. joo the joo. his daughter can divorce the joo, take some money from him, and then marry a nice white man like her brothers hahahahahahahaha.

did the daughter have KIDS with that joo yet? cuz that would suck.

also, were his daughters huge SLUTS? that would also suck.

jeronimus/mindweapon talks about how he schooled his daughter against becoming a slut by going over the song “violet” by that whore Hole, where courtney love whines about being a broken whore. so jeronimus showed this to his daughter as a cautionary tale: don’t do this. and apparently she followed through. I hope she did.

http://songmeanings.com/songs/view/49702/

i refuse to listen to the song, but here are the lyrics, well they are not good, they sound like a heroin whore wrote them hahahaha.  and i can’t get much out of them, other than once men get what they want out of women, the men stop liking you and dump you, leave you in the lurch, hahahaha.

sounds like how women have treated ME hahahahaha.

well not really. im not sure what they wanted out of me. nothing really, they just wanted me out of their lives. well they got that!

and i guess she wrote this song about a bad breakup with billy corgan.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Violet_(Hole_song)

she thought he was a “jerk” but who knows who dumped who. i certainly wouldnt blame him for dumping her!

i do blame him for fooking that crazy whore in the first place!

and kurt cobain should have known better too.

but they were all compromised cuz they were degenerates on heroin all the time.

see what drugs do? they get you mixed up with crazy whores like courtney love.

anyway even women dont like sluts. no woman wants to BE a slut….they just cant control themselves in the presence of a confident badboi.

this is exactly why strong fathers are needed.

but wont the daughter REBEL against the strict father by sneaking out and being a slut ANYWAY? she RESENTS being CONTROLLED? so the father has to double down and be even MORE strict?

maybe in some cases but hopefully not most. i dont think jeronimus was like that and his daughter turned out all right……or did she? is she actually a huge slut but he just doesnt know? almost like being CUCKED by your own DAUGHTER?

anyway its pretty clearly a crazy slut kind of telling how she became a crazy slut, so yeah i guess its a good lesson for a young girl.

but there are plenty of guys who DONT operate like this. but you just dont like them hahahaha cuz women are attracted only to power and confidence, so blindly, that they cant even differentiate GOOD confidence vs BAD confidence.

which makes SENSE, cuz it gets you pregnant QUICKLY. reproduces the species. if you picked a bad man, your baby DIES, and THAT teaches you a powerful lesson, and hopefully you pick a better man next.

and having a good father will keep you from going through that pain.

basically, if women thought long term, theyd never make babies.

i dunno. i just think women could have been DESIGNED better. Compared to women, MEN are designed WAY better. more efficient, more sensible, more reasonable. with women, it seems wasteful, like how can nature LET this waste and inefficiency continue? survival of the fittest! and this is NOT FIT! having babies with any random man!

its ingrish and it definitely gets the babies flowing. r-selection at its “finest.” most species work like this! not only is sperm cheap, but all of life itself is cheap! half of babies DIE! oh well who cares!

but a woman can only have 1 or 2 or 3 babies (most likely 1, hahaha) in 9 months! any other animal can have a damn LITTER of 20 babies in like 3 months! THATS TRUE r-selection!

i guess its best to build a strong bond with your daughter, so she grows up being a real daddy’s girl, so when she’s 18, she wouldnt THINK of doing anything that would BREAK HER DADDYS HEART.

so, company goes to recruiter so they dont get 90000 applications from the dregs of society they dont have time to sift through. pay recruiter whose job it is to sift thru them. say just bring me somebody good.

i talk to recruiter, they mention the clients name and position. they never get back to me. 2-3 months later, i see a posting from the client, for that position, getting hundreds of applications within 1 day. i just dont know what conclusions to draw from this.

flip or flop with tarek and christina. i would bang the shit of his whore wife christina. my god. such a fake blond california uptalking vocal fry skank. but a high class high maintenance skank hahaha. and she looks great despite having 2 children.

i know she’s not really blond but she seems white. HE…..only people ive ever known named tarek or anything like it have been ARABS, and he looks pretty white. what is HE????

why is she race mixing with this arab? but he looks pretty white and their children look white!

tarek el moussa? that sounds REALLY arab.

maybe HES a MIX. his arab father banged a white race traitor slut hahahaha.

well, you cant call em TRAITORS when they never had any LOYALTY in the first place.

http://thearabdailynews.com/2016/01/14/flip-or-flop-hgtv-one-of-my-favorite-shows/

ok his father was moroccan. an arab. they say his mother appears on the show but WHAT IS SHE. i would not be surprised if she was white. do arab christians race mix more than arab muslims? i heard someone say two thirds of arabs are christians. this surprised me. i would have expected no more than one third.

there are a lot more christian arabs than muslim arabs in my area, but they still act arab as fook: obnoxious, loud, rude, macho, hot headed, haggling, semitic, swarthy, overbearing, close talkers, no sense of personal space hahaha.

how many times do i have to tell you im a racist? DEAL WITH IT (sunglasses deal with it.gif)

looking for a hitler deal with it gif, cant find

linkedin can suck my dick too. shitty social network. god damn that pulse of shitty articles. girls who code. code muh dick bitches. phaggy men whining our coding camp was 98% boys, this is unacceptable, we NEED TO DO SOMETHING ABOUT THIS CRISIS AND STOP OPPRESSING WIMMIN OUT OF STEM!!!!!

some phaggot cuck MAN saying this cringeworthy bullshit. yet he makes 70k a year as a senior whatever.

oh god now theres STEAM (not the omega virgin gayming thing) which is were Marxist Antiwhite Jooish “EDUCATORS” are trying to put “ARTS” into STEM.  put arts into stem. how degenerate can you get.

they poison everything they touch with this corruption and evil hahahaha

this is why you need to be confident and tough, because you need to be able to go out and DEAL with the real world, and not let it destroy you. be a happy warrior.

men and women are designed basically to get women pregnant as soon as possible (immed upon puberty at like age 14 or 15 or whatever) and as much as possible. that is why women act so stupid. just back in the good old days they had Responsible Adults to keep them in line. Physically Restrain them. NOW they are being REWARDED for being sluts.

men have always been “sluts” in that they will fook anything that moves. that has never changed. but women are quite like that too, in that they will be sluts to the top 10-20% of men. men, of course, will go MUCH lower, and accept the top 90% of women.

well, i kinda LIKE this “task view” and the option for adding more desktops that is available on win10.

task view is essentially an easily clickable type of alt+tab.

/r/theredpill. women are whores looking for both quick tingles as well as a meal ticket. you cant trust them. youre not SUPPOSED to trust them. YOURE NOT SUPPOSED TO TRUST THEM.

do you need to dress them in beekeeper suits like the mudslimes?

NO, but you SHOULD dress them modestly. no skin tight clothing. no excessive skin showing. no short shorts. no tight pants. no yoga pants. no tiny little tops with milkerz hanging out. nothing too tight. no whorejeans. you can wear dadjeans. you can wear pants. just not super tight, and with a VERY HIGH WAIST. like there was huge controversy when women stopped wearing skirts and dresses. i dont care, just dont wear tight revealing pants.

skirts and dress of course should be longer and not revealing.

and i like the idea of married women covering their hair in public. wearing a Shawl or a Scarf or something.

no beekeeper suits necessary. just DRESS MODESTLY. getting sneaky about those rules will get you punished hahaha.

punishment can mainly be spanking, then head shaving or some kind of public shaming, then tattooing, and maybe exile for the worst.

well im just a spanking fetishist you say. well, maybe i am, but I am very confident that it would be a very effective form of behavior modification hahahaha.

note: i have no desire to be spanked or god forbid DOMINATED or cucked myself!

i do luv the idea of spanking a misbehaving woman though! i would have liked to spank the shit out of that woman, and then we would go on to have a luving monog tradrel.

i think i ALWAYS had a good idea of How Women Were, I was just MAD about it, i didnt want to ACCEPT it, and i wasn’t MAN enough to DEAL with it, and I WANTED to delude myself, but I could never fully fool myself.

thursday night. gonna try some nyquil tonight i think. want to try it EARLY. like 6 or 630 at the latest.

ok took the nyqui at 5:15 pm. a 75% dose which is standard for me.

its perfectly fine to go for a nice relaxing walk AFTER taking nyquil. i basically use it as a SUBSTITUTE for smokin MJ. no joke.  its just nowhere near as good.

kinda funny to apply for 15 jobs at one hospital in the course of a month and not get an interview. i have sent the MOST applications to this damn hospital. not counting all the ones that came BEFORE the spreadsheet. Mst have applied to like 30 jobs in the past cople months at this one place and its ALWAYS a rejection letter. they do send rejection emails. i get them like clockwork for all the applications i submit to this place.

for a damn place that gives you a NICOTENE test.

ivanka trump? is she the one married to the joo? was she a huge slut before marrying the joo? he doesnt seem the type to RAISE SLUTS. the don that is.

peter thiel is a phag? and a christian? wtf?

indeed job alerts. POTENTIALLY one of the most useful features of any job search site, but there seems to be bugs here: alerts not showing up after you create them, the list being 3 pages, then 4 pages, then 5 pages, you cant find the alerts youre sure you made, it just seems really sketchy for a Big Name compay like indeed.

so I think this is a real PAIN POINT for them (hahahahaha) that they simply dont want to spend the money to fix, and will HIDE behind a wall of bullshit self serve support articles and just be like clear cache cookies, try another browser, reinstall browser, restart computer, and see if its fixed. no advice on what to do if its not.

THIS is what passes for tech support. its bullshit and insulting. and its not the level 1 idiots fault. its probably not even level 2 or level 3s fault. its the fault of quality assurance for letting this shitty quality persist, and the management for not giving them the time and money to fix these Known Issues. of course the USERS dont know that they are even KNown or not. but they HAVE to be. but are they? if the company wont listen to them or wont escalate cases?

i was very frustrated when people had legitimate concerns that didnt get investigated. i mean the whole system needed a REVOLUTION.

everyones like change change change. everything rapidly changes every day. dont you realize that this shows you DONT KNOW WHAT YOURE DOING???!?!?!?!?!?! IT LOOKS BAD TO EVERYONE.

just tell us what to say. something halfway decent. don’t make it our job to come up with a million excuses. if we’re supposed to come up with lame excuses, AT LEAST GIVE US THE EXCUSES!

really the truth is, most of the time, we cant afford to spend the time and money to do this. its just not serious enough. not urgent enough. you onyl get to see a doctor right now if youve been shot or stabbed and you are bleeding to death. if things are relatively STABLE, then they are good enough. and all customer service, despite phaggots like comcast saying shit like we care about our customers, its blatant lies, you lose even MORE respect for the company.

cuz customer service is nothing but a COST. i’m amazed they have customer service at ALL and arent like, welp you bought the product and gave us you money. ALL SALES FINAL. NO REFUNDS, NO EXCHANGES. NO SERVICE.

and that’s basically what a lot of customer service really IS!

JUST BE HONEST ABOUT IT!

but i know that will never happen.

women NEEEEEEEEEDDDD good fathers. a woman without a good father is a ruined woman. women are so irresponsible they will basically self destruct unless physically restrained.

so in other words, when you get involved with a woman without a good father, you are ASKING FOR TROUBLE. she might seem great for a while, but it is NOT going to end well.

all woman not having a good father might be THE biggest red flag there is, because it is the ROOT CAUSE of ALL of womens bad behavior.  sluttery, abortion, mudsharking, cheating, abandoning, irresponsible, immature.

a girl without a good father is a TICKING TIME BOMB.

just stay away from any woman who is not a raving fan of her own father. whos first words are not, he is AWESOME.

jobs that force you to ARGUE something that you dont believe in yourself. you’re agreeing with your opponent ie your customer, but you have to argue against them. how do you do this? do some real sneaky joo shit. how come they dont teach this in skool? joos run the skools hahaha. dont they WANT people to work and be tax livestock for them? doesnt that bring in more tax dollars than neets and dindus?

thats what i never understood. so you buy their votes. yeah not really. they are more likely to NOT VOTE AT ALL. and you are not making ANY MONEY off them.

if you really want to placate these people, give them MJ and pvssy. too many people like me and you have an OMEGA UPRISING!!!! hahaha jk. there will never be an omega or even beta uprising, but its a funny meme.

well, jobless thug ingras get plenty of MJ and pvssy. and the joos really do make those things readily available. by encouraging sluts to be slutty.

problem is, us omegas arent benefiting at all from all that cheap pvssy, we’re not seeing any of it, its just as hard for us to get as it was back when women were GOOD.

but it doesnt matter because we omegas will always be a tiny minority. there will never be an omega revolution. much better chance of a beta uprising. more betas out there than omegas. betas can be husbands and fathers. neets and virgins are definition omega.

omegas would LUV to be beta. shit. be nonvirgin, have wife and kid.

to an omega, beta is alpha!!!!!!!!

yep gotta luv the aphorisms. nyquil makes it difficutl to do coherent thoughts. just tired.

me posting on depression forums to my autist virgin early 20s buddy who cant get over his female friend from 5 years ago:
I understand your desire to contact the person. Thanks for sharing. Also good for not actually sending the message, I agree with others here that actually sending it would do more harm than good, and essentially be like pouring salt into the wound, torturing yourself. I have felt similarly though. I just wanted the other person to LISTEN to me, to hear my side of the story. I was willing to listen to them, how can they not be willing to listen to me, when I have so much I want to tell them. I was extremely angry and frustrated and confused at the unfairness of it all. Of course we all know life isn’t fair, but still it was extremely frustrating to be shut out by somebody when you have so much you want to tell them.

But ultimately, in the long run, I fully believe in the efficacy of no contact. It’s really been the only way I could ever “get over” anybody. Although it definitely been a struggle! I struggled SO many times with the temptation of, “If I just email her ONE more time, maybe she will understand, or at least listen to me, or respond to me, or help me get better closure.” When really my root desire was a hopeless hope that she would change her mind and decide to be with me.

Yeah, better communication on her part would have been nice, but I just know if she HAD responded, I would have found something else to obsess over, like “oh you still didn’t understand me completely. Let me write ANOTHER long email trying to explain this a little better.” Which would have turned into another pointless vicious circle.

For me it has finally been one full year of no contact and I can say I’ve made some progress, but I still think about her too much. I feel it will take at least two full years to “get over her” completely, but at least right now I can go through the motions of life and not feel completely destroyed and devasted, so I will take that as an improvement.

Five years is definitely rough. It’s hard to say what is “excessive” and what is normal here. Everybody takes different amounts of time to “get over someone.” I feel like I take longer, and that “normal” people get over people “too quickly.” I feel that when you have real feelings for someone and your heart is broken, it SHOULD take a long time to get over them. These feelings mean something, if not to them, then certainly to you! This is the power of love, in my opinion. It is not some trifling emotion that should be treated casually. It’s a big deal, in other words, and is always a long-term thing.

For me, I figured that around two years was my average. (for “getting over” someone.) So that has helped me manage my expectations and not get too worried when things seem to be moving “too slowly.”

But honestly I think five years is too long to suffer! So I definitely support you talking to a therapist if at all possible. I visit a therapist about once a month and it has been helpful putting things into perspective. Of course a huge part of depression is “cognitive distortions” where we essentially misinterpret things, put things through a very negative filter, and blow things out of proportion, and it’s definitely a struggle trying to fix that.

Also, I think that when you contacted her recently, that may have brought the pain right back to the forefront, and that contacting her again now would just be an even worse re-play of that situation, bringing even more pain back. It’s good to write the message, just don’t send it. I still do that sometimes. In the course of my regular journaling, I will feel the urge to say something to her, but knowing that I simply cannot, I address what I’m saying to her, and go on a rant. I am thankful for the sense of perspective that at least now I know that sending such a message to her would not do any good.

However, I should note that I did essentially tell her everything (or mostly everything) I wanted to tell her, in a series of long emails, that were probably regarded as creepy or pathetic or just too much, which I sent in a period of a month after our relationship ended. I am kind of glad I “got most of it out of my system” at that time…..but I still felt the urge to “scratch the itch” and get even MORE out of my system after that. Also, I have no proof that she even read those messages, let alone really understood them….and I would never get that confirmation for any future contact with her.

TL;DR: I’m glad I resisted the sometimes VERY STRONG temptation to contact her, because it would just re-awaken the pain. It really is like an addiction, as some people have mentioned, and it can be helpful to go “cold turkey.” However, it IS a very legitimate, valid, understandable desire to have the desire to be HEARD and listened to.

But that could also lead to the pitfall of, “OK, now you HEARD me, but did you really UNDERSTAND me,” and you can see how that would be a slippery slope of you being tempted to contact her again. It’s doubtful our unrequited love-recipients would ever truly be able to understand.

So yes I agree, no contact whatsoever is the best thing to do here. And this would include not looking for pictures or news about her on facebook/internet/anywhere. I deactivated my facebook and haven’t been on it in a year, and I don’t miss it. I deleted every bookmark related to her or her family, deleted every email I sent or received from her, essentially tried to delete her from my life. She had done the same thing to me, so I will just do likewise. I just wish I could have moved on from her as quickly as she moved on and forgot about me. But then I remember that love is a powerful force that shouldn’t be gotten over quickly or easily, and I respect the painful process.

We don’t do these things because they are easy, we do them because they are hard!!

I promised myself I would write a short post this time……

Good luck and good job on the no contact!!!! And keep doing what you can to find a good therapist. Even talking to them just once a month can be helpful. Also if you google “no contact” you will find a TON of information and stories on how it has helped people.

END POAST

i just did another post to my other forum buddie, a 31 year old autist virgin on a hopeless job search:
Thanks for the updates, even though it sounds like pretty bad news. 140 applicants for every job? That is interesting, I have asked myself that same question recently, and can’t find any conclusive answers. I do have an anecdote about an entry-level job in my area, paying $13 an hour, and had a well-written job description that painted the job as a good entry-level opportunity “for a college student”, and did not call for 5 years of specific experience, or was not a supervisor/manager job, and basically seemed like the perfect job for someone like me….and apparently many other people as well. The Indeed website shows how many people who have applied to a job (on some postings), and this one quickly received around 1000 applicants in under 48 hours of being posted. Of course, the stream of negative thoughts started immediately and automatically: “oh great, how am I going to beat out 999 other people.”

or, “It’s not good enough to be the top 1%. You have to be the top .01% to get anywhere in life and make $13 an hour.”

I just had my 10th interview of my current job search. All my interviews go “OK”. I don’t do BADLY, but I don’t WOW them with charismatic, electrifying confidence either. I am usually pretty nervous and end up talking too fast, and worry I sound like an “autist” or a “weirdo.” (No offense to people on the spectrum!!!! I am probably pretty close to it myself. I’m simply talking about how “normal” people perceive “awkward, anxious weirdos.”…..which is probably an unhealthy form of all-or-nothing thinking.)

Then I get angry, thinking people in 1980 didn’t go on 10-20 interviews to get one job, they didn’t send out 500-1000 applications, they “simply” finished high school and said “yep, I’m willing to work” and they got a job making average or nearly-average per capita income. (in the US, I believe this is around $28000, which I then translate to about $14 an hour. HOWEVER I am also deeply skeptical of job/employment/income statistics and how they are reported. But I can’t escape the need to measure myself against some sort of number!)

The best thing I did recently was I very reluctantly used savings to buy a modestly-priced suit, with matching jacket and pants, and had them altered to fit my weird-shaped body. Ultimately I was very happy with this decision, as it looks a LOT better than the mismatched, shabby jacket I was wearing previous. HOWEVER, I am VERY aware that this costly privilege is not available to all, but if you can scrape together ANY way to make it happen, I strongly suggest it. Especially if you have a weird-shaped body, short legs, etc, and can never find clothes that fit quite right. You will at least have a little confidence boost from dressing better for the interviews.

If you are at absolute rock bottom, you could probably get a staffing/recruiting agency to find you a job in some customer service or technical support call center. These places are revolving doors of lost, desperate souls. I was one of them once and I am trying not to become one again!

My current “Big Plan” is to try to get training in CNC Machining, which of course will involve agency, time, effort, and money. But in general I am a big fan of the skilled trades as opposed to just about anything else. This is coming from a college grad with a “useless degree” who has lost all faith in higher education (unless it’s in STEM.) Of course, higher education is all what you make of it, and I have long ago lost all faith in my own sense of power to make good things happen for myself! And I am bitter that “college/university SHOULDN’T be like that, because of the exorbitant financial cost! They really take their pound of flesh, isn’t that ENOUGH? But no, NOW you have to go broke AND show the initiative to be a real go-getter?”

anyway, that’s a bit of tangent. I just wanted to mention the idea of Skilled Trades Training in an attempt to get myself to do just this, and also solicit opinions of anyone out there who has hopefully good (but maybe bad!) stories to share about skilled trades training and how it worked / didn’t work in securing gainful employment.

But yeah it’s RIDICULOUS out there. I would just recommend setting small goals and taking baby steps. Even going to one interview is tough. I know you’ve mentioned possibly cancelling an interview because of anxiety / nervousness. I can definitely understand that! I just tell myself it’s NORMAL to be nervous for an interview. Then, of course, I criticize myself after the interview, like “jeez, they’ll never hire me, I was TOO NERVOUS and weird.” But the important part was that I went to the interview and survived. Recently I had an interview with a panel of five people and the whole thing lasted like 80 minutes. After a while, I stopped being nervous, and was like this is just absolutely RIDICULOUS. This is not an executive level job. These people all make a lot more money than this job is paying, and there’s five of them interviewing me for over an hour?!?!?!” and I almost had to laugh. I did not get the job, of course, hahahahahahaha.

There’s not really anything useful I can tell you. I am figuring I will have to survive through about 20 interviews before I get one job offer. So I have made it my goal to get those 20 interviews. It’s like the old saying of How do you eat an elephant? one bite at a time.

Anyway thanks for the update, and please feel free to come in here and vent anytime!

END POAST

not like i have any authority to help these people! but i think it’s good to treat yourself as nicely and as forgivingly, as gently, as caringly, as you treat other people who are in similar pain as you are. SO TREAT YOURSELF THE SAME WAY!!!!! TAKE YOUR OWN ADVICE!!!!!

ok got 5 shitty job apps done. my daily average is now up to 3.32 hahaha so high. this includes days off, interview days, etc. you have to understand, it takes time to find these jobs. you have to sift through tons of jobs to find the 1% you are both qualified for and which you think you could do without K’ing yourself and which pay more than minimum wage. as you can see, i have unreasonable expectations. high entitlement, hahaha.

shooter(s) in munich germany. oh lawd i hope they are mudslim isis refugees. hard to tell from the vidya. i see a whitish arm on this one shooter. 3 shooters. well gotta be isis then.

david duke running for us senate….hey now! i am in full support of this. i would not trust duke with muh wife or daughter, but he has a great pro-white message and he is def the most well-known huhwhyte nationalist and him running for office is a pretty big deal.

i mean shit there is a huhwhyte nationalist political party but nobody cares about it. like any of the other 6000000 little parties in the US that never win anything EVER.

not so dear person:

come on. you always would talk shit about your horrible former friend, who became a crazy alcoholic. bipolar borderline alcoholic that would rather go on disability than work, and then continue drinking, and would cheat on her fiance who she pretends to luv, and he is a loser too, with his job at lame retail store. like you can get anywhere in life working at this lame retail mall store!

well what do you think of me now, who cant get a job anywhere, and now you are more successful than me, able to tough it out much better than me in our tough job and other tough jobs like it. now you are moving up while I am moving down. do you think i am a huge loser like him, like her? i remember when i used to be a good influence on you. you were right to cut those people out of your life. but at least you would respond to them when they would bitch at you when you refused to let them use you. couldnt you just respond to me? i wasnt trying to use or manipulate you! i just wanted to TALK about what was hapenign to our relationship. havent you ever had feelings for someone who didnt have feelings for you? how would you want them to dump you? would you want them to treat you like a monster for feelings you didnt choose to have?

sheeeeeeeit.

yeah i mean i would like to see DAVID DUKE FOR PRESIDENT.

I dont donate money to david duke because he’s a gambler hahahaha. But I have listened to hours of david duke and his message is on point. he is a very wise man. i even encouraged That Woman to listen to David Duke, he’s a good person to start with if you want to get an idea of the wild stuff I’m interested in.

I have donated money to TRS who technically had David Duke as a guest on fash the nation. didn’t they?

I GLADLY give MONEY to 1488 White Supremacists. I don’t know how much more clear I can be about this.

also today july 22, hit the Big 300 mark. the 300th job applied for of muh job search.

not exactly but close enough.

but i will be reduced to working at mall retail and being cheated on by a crazy alcoholic bitch hahaha.

so why was that woman friends with this girl to begin with?

because she’s passive and lonely and will take whatever friends she can get.

but she can still recognize bad influences and get them out of her life, rather than be dragged down by them.

and i hate being one of those types of peopel.

but i WASNT.

but that’s how she treated me.

but I WASNT. she just treated me that way because she didnt know what else to do. just ran away. not an uncommon response. i have run away from responsibility too. MANY times.

but yeah its a mindfook and a soulfook. i mean i USED to be a bad influence but i dont think i am any more. plus this girl just sounded obnoxious. like a total USER, like do this thing for me or were not friends anymore btich.

i would never do that to somebody. all i wanted was to TALK.

well, i wanted her to BE WITH me. but i didnt expect it. i didnt feel entitled to it. I knew it wasnt gonna happen.

breaking up is hard to do hahahaha. what are the best practices. if i ever get in another rel again, and i cant imagine ever having that connection with a person again, and say she wants to dump me, i will say BABY we are going to the THERAPIST so you can dump me the RIGHT way.

people need OUTSIDE HELP in dumping people the RIGHT way.

do they REALLY though? well, SHE sure did! a good father would have been good enough to teach her.

don’t blame her, blame her FATHER. so she wasnt a crazy slut like most fatherless girls. BELIEVE ME, her fatherlessness was something i took notice of IMMEDIATELY upon meeting her. yep, shes got no real father, watch OUT for this gurl, she’s PROBABLY a crazy slut. then i found out she really WASNT.

but her fatherlessness found different, more unexpected ways to express itself. namely, unable to deal with conflict and responsibility.

gunman shot himself. kind of a white thing to do. oh god i hope its not a right wing nationalist white guy. some racist who hates all the migrants.  only solution is to bring in more migrants! BAD germany!

neo nazi BOOTS?? wtf are you talking about?

sheeeeeit i would like to get some neo nazi boots, because my enemies already consider me a nazi, and i would probably vote for hitler anyway hahahaha. the older i get, the more i like hitler hahaha. uncle adi.

germany is FINISHED. its SAD. I dont want germany to be finished. to fall to the damn isis caliphate hehehehe.

well a country like poland will be much stronger I think. poland is not sick and dying like germany is. although they are less “wealthy”. and people in the UK HATE poles because poles are like mexicans to them, flooding into the UK and taking jobs and not speaking english. and of course i dont like seeing whites turned against whites like this. well the brexit might help with this. i mean poles can always go to france and germany. im sure they do. ideally i would make poland great again. i LUV poland, always will.

they are gonna be like, look at these crazy gun toting white racists hating other races. welcome mohammed, fook my wife and daughter please, white man go bye bye now, we’re so evil, we dont deserve to live, the world is better without whites, i cant wait until we are all one big brown mud race.

is there some way you can PAY to find the best job postings? i dont mean the ladders.com. i mean just good solid entry level 13 dollar an hour jobs that arent total bullshit and lies. that go to real actual decent average entry level jobs. there is a theory that many job postings arent even REAL, its just a SHOW to make the economy LOOK better than it actually is. smoke and mirrors. keep the unemployed from revolting.

but they’re more likely to just stop job searching and K themselves than revolt!

leave the labor force. then they dont get counted at all. which is stupid. you SHOULD count the discouraged workers/job seekers cuz it measures a very important thing.

you literally do not COUNT as unemployed if you STOP SEARCHING for a job. become a NEET.

GAS THE NORMIES NEET UPRISING NOW

hahahaha

im no prize pig myself, but these damn women act like the worst bratty CHILDREN. assuming children could fook guys and be sluts.

i’m pretty BAD, but I’m still better than these women!

They LIKE the “Drama”! where drama just means them being horrible slutty brats and breaking hearts and lying and cheating! they LIKE doing this SINFUL business! They LOVE SIN!

Like da joos, because they love sin, they are satan’s representatives on earth hahaha.

but hey, i used to love sin and degeneracy too. until i was like 26 years old.  therefore, i can’t expect any woman under 26 to be any different.

i cant believe it took me so long to wake up. but at least i did. some people are still asleep during their 30s. at least i was a few solid years before 30.

sheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeit.

not so dear women: you’re NOT ALLOWED to treat sex as casually as you think All Men treat it, because you can get pregnant from sex! MEN CANT!!!!!! It doesnt matter that you can just get an abortion! The issue is what your BODY is CAPABLE of! Your body CAN get pregnant! No man in the history of the world has EVER gotten pregnant!

MEN CAN”T GET PREGNANT! ONLY WOMEN CAN GET PREGNANT!

therefore, women HAVE to be more CAREFUL about sex!

YOURE WELCOME.

are all women so stupish or whorish that I NEED to mansplain such basic stuff to them.

GOD I HOPE NOT. I hope this is just a projection of my anger at HER, angry that shes out fooking guys rather than responding to me. you can fook 60000000 black guys, just respond to me . just dont treat me like a piece of GARBAGE when we were REAL friends.

This is what One Year of Getting Over It looks like hahahahaha. One Year of no contact.

it takes two years i reckon.

like a damn jail sentence. just take it one day at a time and in two years i will be finally free at last, free at last. and thankfully, unlike prison, i dont get assraped every day.

o shit why havent i been looking at CRAIGSLIST for jobs?

hey there is some promising stuff here.

but it is just weird how they DONT EVEN MENTION THE NAME OF THE COMPANY. that always bugs more. that bugs me MORE than not listing a salary range. WHY CANT YOU JUST SAY THE NAME OF YOUR COMPANY? it just seems shady as fook. they do tell you the name of the city though. oh thank you master.

sheeeeeit. 7 applications today.

you think i dont realize that adult grown up mature rels are a ALOT OF WORK? takes a lot of EFFORT to get through the good times and bad? of COURSE i realize this!

and it sucks when someone wants to give up on you, and you want to FIGHT to keep them. you wish they were willing to fight for the rel too. but they just dont luv you any more. if they ever did hahahahaha.

not only do you need to be willing to fight……but BOTH of you need to be willing to fight! DAMN!

found some guy selling MJ on craigslist.  probably not a good idea hahaha.

found a tranny skank in my town saying he/she wanted a random hot guy to piss down their throat. i can suk u off afterwards too if you want. and then showing photos of the tranny skank dressed in womens underwear and bending over. jeeeezum crow. WHAT A WORLD.

going on craigslist looking for STRANGE MEN to piss in your mouth FOR FREE, because that gets you off so much, because youre THAT fooked up.

do these people get any responses? I would like to do a documentary on these people. the desperate loser men who say HELL YEAH SIGN ME UP FOR THAT! and then document both ends of the degenerate, desperate, disgusting transaction.

maybe that woman does stuff like this hahahahaha because she has no father.

noooo there are barely any “w4m” casual encounters…..AS IT SHOULD BE.

my FAITH IN HUMANITY was AFFIRMED to see the tiny number of w4m listings. amazing that WOMEN on CRAIGSLIST could boost my confidence in human decency!

 

 

NORMIES GONNA NORM

april 20 1488

in the past we would celebrate degenerate MJ day……but as a grown ass man, we know theres only one thing to celebrate today.  AH did nothing wrong, the good guys lost the war.

had a dream with the former woman6, who I removed from that lineup because she really was a huge slut and dirty mudshark and she was not worthy of muh luv. but she was cute and she had a chance, but she just didnt behave herself, and she really was not the kind of nice, chill, kind person I wanted her to be…..which woman2015 was wawawawawawawa. she was just a crazy slut who was seriously affected by her daddy issues and she was probably bipolar too. very very bitchy and annoying. but also very cute and it was nice to be the subject of her interest. get your turn on the ride. be her next cok on the carousel.

of course I never even banged her or even made out with her, and this is a high-number skank who takes the sacred act of secs VERY casually. I mean she has to have well over n > 10, and probably a few abortions hahaha. plus she is a mudshark! she managed to get into a long term relship for once…..but its with some kind of negro or negro looking arab. REALLY hideous guy. she’s a cute white gurl. COME ON.

anyway she’s like 6 years younger than me, and way more successful than me and I havent talked to her in like…..6 or 7 years, wow.

so I had a dream where she invited me over to cuddle and I was like OOOO GOODY!!!! I luv cuddling and I have a crush on her, maybe we can make out too! and it will be so awesome to cuddle for hours and spend the night with her!!

so when I got there there was already another guy in the bed with her. looks like she wants to cuddle with TWO guys tonight. I was kinda disgusted, but I was like ok, I am desperate to cuddle with her, I’ll just get on the other side of her and cuddle with her and if things get too weird with that other guy, I’ll leave.

so then I cuddled right up to her and put my arms around her, holding her. and she sighed and quickly wormed out, it was clear she didnt want such intense cuddling. more like laying next to each other but barely touching. I was like well this is a huge disappointment.

then I was at my house and thinking about her and wanted to invite her over to my house and cuddle with me, but I couldnt get her to respond, hahahaha. yep I was done. no more cuddling with her. My turn on the ride was over. and no doubt she was fooking that other guy in the bed like crazy, and I couldnt even get 2 minutes of Legit Cuddling out of her.

anyway she was the last slut I was ever interested in, and hopefully THE last. really, not ALL women are this bad, and it’s honestly not FAIR to woman2015 to lump her in with this slut. it wouldnt be fair to any decent woman.

she could have been a decent woman too if she had a decent father and were not such a rebellious youth. into drinking and partying and Boiz.

well, this is typical of fatherless gurls. its just weird and interesting and funny and ironic that woman2015 also was pretty much “fatherless” but turned out to be a much better woman.

sheeeeeeit. yeah so i didnt mean

https://forum.federalsoup.com/default.aspx?g=posts&t=41730#post454862

I am trying to determine how good my postal 473 test score of 86.9 is. what is the damn average. there is lots of debate. nobody knows anyhting hahahaha.  i mean I want to do really well on tests, because I do really BAD on interviews. just being average or a slightly above average on the exam isnt gonna cut the mustard hahaha.

https://forum.federalsoup.com/default.aspx?g=posts&t=60580#post702517

also i learned that the huge personality test I took a few weeks ago is factored into that score. and MAYBE if you make your answers TOO good, you lose points. not sure.

https://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20120404104710AAwZgwj&page=1

http://www.quicktopic.com/33/H/vyMbVFFFZ3Z2q

this suggests you SHOULD be over the top ridiculous with your personality test. and i was. but i still dont know how good an 86.9 is. well if 70 is min and 100 is maximum, AND assuming a bell curve, then 85 would be Average, and I would be slightly above average.

this slut on fx news happening now with the big tits. cover them up whore hahahaha.  its NOT jenna lee even though she is listend as an anchor on the show. wayyyyyyyy sluttier than jenna lee. hahaha. and blond.

its not heather childers.

ok its heather nauert. how is she 46 fookin years old.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Heather_Nauert

she has a masters degree in journalism from columbia (top tier program for that hahaha) and is married to an Investment Banker from Goldman Sachs. HAHAHAHAHAHA. what a whore.

-56 calories net calories yesterday. a new record hahahaha.

i cant believe she is 46 though. she must have done mad plastic surgery. usually I can tell with that sort of thing. I mean she looks very very good for 46. just needs to dress more professionally for her Chosen Career.

well dont blame her, blame the management! they make all their women personalities dress like sluts!

duly noted. i don’t doubt it.

ok my goal for today is go to thrift store and look for blue suit coat that kinda fits. might not find one.

AND also to prepare for The Big Interview tomorrow with staffing recruiter. there might be assessment tests in there, even better. cuz SUPPOSEDLY I do better on tests than on interviews hahaha. no actually I do shitty at both and thats why I cant get a 15 DAH job.

never mind a woman whos taken less than 15 cox and has no bastards!

i cant watch this butt slut any more hahahaha.

really not all women are sluts. just some. and it hurts more to get rejected by non sluts. because you know you lost a decent woman. and there are probably more sluts than decent women. 60 40 hahahaha. just cuz that is what our degenerate culture promotes: degeneracy. being a slut. celebrating sluthood.

the worst is being rejected by a good woman in a bad way. that is as disappointing as it gets. then you really blame yourself.

yeah I did screw up and yeah I did do some things wrong. yeah I was annoying and pushy. I ADMIT IT! but I cant stop thinking BUT. BUT that wasnt BAD enough that I didnt deserve some courageous compassion from her hahahaha. but you cant expect people to be COURAGEOUS for you. can you? in a way you can. you can really hope your friends will go to bat for you and not deny you like peter denied jesus hahahaha.

i dont think peter was BETRAYING jesus, but he was definitely DENYING him. and jesus probably didnt feel betrayed so much as he felt sad, denied, and disappointed.

i know that feel exactly hahahahahaha.

well, peter later redeemed himself and apologized i think hahaha. and later gave his life as a martyr for christ. i think hahahaha.

and of course in no way can we say peter was a bad or cowardly person. the man was a saint hahahaha. our first pope.

i think. i think there were two peters. peter and simon peter.

i think BMI is a generally useful enough. epsecally in regards to people looking like potatoes, or fat positive shit with women. basically, if I can fight the good fight and get to a 24 BMI hahahaha then I demand a woman of 24 BMI as well hahahaha.

ok ideally I want to get to 20. at 23.7 now. and of course men are cheaper than women, which is why an 8 man might have to settle for a 6 woman. so if I am 20 BMI, I should expect no better than a 25 BMI woman hahahahaha.

wawawawawaw That Woman wasnt even Overweight either! she had nice meaty thighs and buttocks but I liked those very much! and she certainly had a 24 or less BMI!!!!!! prob even 23!

she was really Too Attractive for me! out of my league!!!!!!

but her family was white trash!

this was a concern I had immediately. then I decided it didnt really bother me becuase they were good decent people who just had hard lives. and as long as they didnt get into drugs they should be fine. besides, white trash is still white. all that matters is that they are decent drug free people. and they were!!!!!!!! so in other words, they werent Too Degenerate White Trash 4 Me!!!!!!

in other words they were GOOD white trash and not bad white trash, therefore, not even really white TRASH at all. white trash is a degenerate ATTITUDE that they did not have. well not her part of the family. the most white trash thing she did was Mudsharked once. Real White Trash mudsharks all the time, had brown bastard babies, has bastard babies with deadbeats, have terrible teeth, curse like a sailor, drop out of high school, are huge sluts, get horrible tattoos, get into meth or painkillers or alcohol, get fat, go tanning, go partying, cheat on their lovers, cause drama, have dirty sticky houses, smoke 10 packs of newports a day, act like negroes basically. she didnt do any of that.

nope. she was and is an honestly decent, great, one of a kind, one in a million woman, and I pushed her too far, and she pushed me too far. it’s so sad and tragic. she was/is a GREAT woman and I didnt want her out of my life, I didnt want her to hate me. She was/is exactly the type of woman I want to wife up 4 Lyfe. and now I have to find ANOTHER one. how hard is THAT gonna be? impossible!!!!!

but maybe that white trash slut waitress will be at the pub tonight hahahaha and I can fook her and he stupid tattoos hahaha.

went to thrift store and indeed found about as good of a navy blue suit jacket as I could have asked. decent fit, and only 4 dollars. also got a new reddish tie. I figure dark blue coat, dark blue pants, red tie, and plain white dress shirt is the best you can do. look like TRUMP. I heard that if you wear a shirt with STRIPES on it, as I usually like white dress shirts with narrow STRIPES on them, that means you are not a team player and are less likely to be hired than if you wear a plain, unstriped white or maybe even blue shirt. Wouldnt risk blue though. just wear a plain white dress shirt. with big yellow pit stains hahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha. so thats why you wear the dark blue jacket!

and, finally, I would like to get a Light Gray jacket, hopefully for 4 bucks at the thrift store.

I wonder if there is an online thrift store hahaha like amazon but for thrifts.

get a job wear you have to wear a suit……then wear the SAME shitty suit EVERY DAY, day after day. dont even change the shirt or pants or tie hahahaha.  that will impress your TEAM and your superiors hahahaha.

governor of utah declares porn toxic and bad and an epidemic and a public health crisis. well i wouldnt disagree with them! good to see a govt saying porn is bad! because it IS!!!!!!! note they did not make it illegal. i dont think they could. but i think it is a great thing just to come out and say THIS IS BAD.

I dont even know how to prepare for this. its not just for one possible job. i mean its a temp agency hahaha.

Ok I made a One Sheeter. one page in open office. size 9 font, .4 inch margins. here it is, pasting it here for YOUR benefit::::::::::::

 

April 21 2016. Agency name. INterviewer name.
I am looking for an entry-level, trainee, or assistant position in an office, production, or warehouse setting.
I am an enthusiastic problem-solver and motivated self-starter.
I have a bachelors degree in uselessness in which I strengthened my communication and critical thinking skills, and I have completed almost 80 additional credits in Business and Information Technology to strengthen both of those skill sets.
I am eager to hit the ground running and provide value to a good fit organization.
My best fit organization would be one that provides good value to its clients and has good long-term leadership.
Agency’s goal is to partner with employers to find best-fit candidates that will help their business and their community succeed.
I want to help Agency achieve its goal of finding best-fit candidates that will help businesses and communities succeed. I would like to be one of these best-fit candidates.
I know “Agency has been one of the most successful and trusted recruiting firms for more than 60 years” in: Administrative & Support, Light Industrial, Information Technology, Accounting & Finance, Sales & Marketing, Human Resources, Legal, Retail/Wholesale, Manufacturing & Production, Banking.
I am a great fit for all of these fields except I am not an ideal fit for the inbound call center environment unfortunately. I excel at delivering service to inbound callers, but I prefer to balance inbound phone work with other tasks as well. I am very capable at resolving technical issues, but I sometimes struggle when there is a high volume of very complex calls.
I excel with a minimum of supervision and handholding, and seek to maximize my organization’s resources. I do not need my worked checked excessively. That being said, I do appreciate having access to experienced, senior team members in case I do have a question about a complicated procedure or a high-urgency, high-value task. I want to deliver service of the highest quality to my organization’s clients, and I seek to develop a good sense of perspective and judgment as quickly as possible, but I appreciate the privilege of being able to ask a limited number of questions while I am working through the initial learning curve. I would never inconvenience senior colleagues with repetitive questions, however. I generally say, if you can’t figure it out in 10 minutes, ask somebody, however this is always open to modification on case-by-case basis, depending on the number of complex questions, the amount of documentation and reference materials available, and the number of senior team members available.
I unfortunately had to take a leave of absence to handle a family situation. It was a carefully weighed decision accompanied by strict financial planning. Once we resolved the situation and put safeguards in place to ensure it would not happen again in the future, I contacted my employer about returning. Unfortunately, they replied that the business needs had been lower than anticipated, and that a round of layoffs had already started. I would be eligible for rehire next season (July 2016) due to my excellent and reliable performance however. I encourage you to contact my manager “Mr Big” with any questions. Please see my list of references.
I like to think outside the box and come up with solutions to problems. Whenever possible, I like to solve problems at their root, rather than using workarounds or bandaid fixes, or putting out fires. However I appreciate that time is money, and that fires can happen. I also appreciate that sometimes it costs too much money and time to do a full root cause analysis, so in some complex situations, we have to take our best guess, take quick action, and correct course later if needed.
I have a very good communication style and can handle urgent situations and difficult clients. Don’t interrupt, show empathy, listen actively, repeat their issue back to them to show you’ve understood, ask gently probing questions to get more information. Tell the client what your plan is and how you are going to follow up with them. Always make sure the client is satisfied before you close a case. Take ownership and show accountability for your work. If you don’t have the tools to fix the client’s problem, personally introduce them to a person who does.
A weakness is that I have struggled in sink-or-swim environments in the past, but I quickly learned to adapt. Change and growth is difficult and involves being pushed out of your comfort zone. Once I got used to being outside of my comfort zone, I gradually become less flustered and was able to solve problems more efficiently. I also use flashcards and a regular regiment of study in my personal time so that I am able to quickly power through learning curves, and hit the ground running during my workday, rather than waste time trying to figure things out. I take the initiative to study and learn work-related skills on my own personal time.
Are these 1099 or w2 positions? How many positions are temp-to-hire? How many are temporary contract? Does a temporary contract ever get converted to a direct hire? I am looking for a long-term opportunity ideal, where I have the opportunity to learn many skills and wear many hats.
I am a high-energy and outgoing team member, and communicate very well with clients and team members, however I am also an introvert and ideally prefer a small amount of quiet time to accomplish work tasks.
I also handle complex situations very well, but I do prefer a mix of the less complex along with the more complex.
I tell you this to help you find the best fit for me personally. Given a choice between a high-complexity and high-urgency position with higher pay, I would choose a lower-pay position if available. I enjoyed communicating with clients and solving complex urgent problems at the tech support call center job, but my best fit would be a lower volume of calls, some time off of inbound phone duty, and a slightly reduced number of highly complex issues. As I say, I enjoy working on complex issues and I’m skilled at solving them quickly, but I prefer a balance of less complex and more complex. Less urgent and more urgent. This is a win-win for both me and my employer, and enables me to be more productive and produce more value.
At the end of the day, I am looking to add value to this company and your clients. Hiring a candidate is an expensive risk, and I want to make good on your risk, and ultimately cut costs for your organization. I want to minimize costs and maximize profits, so that the company gets a good return on investment for choosing to invest in me.
If a client asks you a question you don’t immediately know the answer to, and again this is something I used to struggle with but have since greatly improved, you say: here’s what I know, here’s what I don’t know, here’s how I’m going to figure it out, and here’s when I’ll follow up with you.
I am great at converting unknown unknowns into known unknowns, and then finally into known knowns, all as quickly as possible.
In order to think outside the box, you need to LEARN THE BOX first. This can be challenging in a new workplace, where you have no sense of intuition or judgment on what is right or what is wrong. Many times the RISKS are NOT obvious. Crossing a busy street would entail obvious risks even if you had never seen a street or a car. The risks in very specialized business processes are much less obvious. Something may look right to you but actually be wrong. This is why I take the initiative to train myself and build relationships with senior team members, so as to get through the learning curve as quickly as possible. Someties you have to sacrfice your personal time in the pursuit of excellence. I have a commitment to excellence.
UNDERPROMISE and OVERDELIVER. …….. don’t just COMMUNICATE, but BUILD RELATIONSHIPS. … WHY is the most valuable question because it gives us deep understanding of a process, and allows us to find root causes of problems. However we must never lose sight of business needs, and understand when the question of why becomes an expensive wild-goose chase.
Tough-mindedness, grit, determination. I used to struggle at this but I soon improved this deficit. You need to be determined and focused on a goal, and sometimes this involves telling the client bad news they don’t want to hear. It’s better to not candy-coat this. Just be honest. Honesty is the best policy. Also realize that this is a BUSINESS NOT A CHARITY. Constantly giving large discounts will indeed make clients VERY happy, but it’s simply not sustainable for the company.

I am very happy to take as many assessments and skill tests as possible to help you determine best fit, and also to demonstrate my problem-solving and communication skills. Please give me some business problem simulations and I will gladly discuss my thought process in approaching these problems.
I am very skilled at taking a detective’s mindset. Solving problems and thinking like Sherlock Holmes. Looking at all pieces of potential evidence and putting together a timeline. Distinguishing causation from mere corrolation. Figuring out what is relevant and what is not. And doing all this quickly so as not to waste clients time or my company’s time. Think like a DETECTIVE, and operate like a SURGEON.
Sometimes it’s better to give 99% to every case or client rather than to give 120% to every case. Assuming that you would be the only one to notice that extra 21%, and that your client would be no less satisfied with 99%. In our global 24/7 world, speed is more important than ever before. We must maintain high standards of quality, but we have to appreciate that speed is every bit as valuable as quality, and it often is not worth it to sacrifice speed for a marginal improvement in quality.

You have to UNDERSTAND something in order to EXPLAIN it to confused clients. For this reason, it is very important to understand your products and procedures as fully and quickly as possible, and I am very willing to sacrifice the personal time in order to independently self-train on these items. This is a standard expectation and responsibility of any LEARNING POSITION!!!!! You have to be willing to put in that time.
What is the difference between a good agent from a great agent? Is there any kind of intranet, knowledge base, caseload management, CRM, ERP which is available outside of the office for self-study purposes? May I get access to a VPN so I can study company resources from home?
I have EXCELLENT attendance. I always report to work early and very often stay late. I am the complete opposite of a CLOCKWATCHER. If I have to stay late in order to get the job done, I will be a team player, and complete the job. However I am very conscious of overtime costs and will not clock more than 40 hours unless specifically directed by my supervisor.
I go above and beyond to meet any and all quality metrics. There is always room for improvement and I like the challenge of improving all the metrics on my scorecard.
I treat EVERYBOD Y with the Golden Rule. So simple, yet so valuable. There’s no need to take a bad attitude out on other people, and there’s no reason to take other people’s bad attitude personally. Just let it roll off you like water off a duck’s back.

Ideally I am looking for 12 to 15 dollars an hour, but very negotiable. Ideally I am looking for 1st shift first, second shift second. Ideally I am not the best fit for a Call Center.
Ideally I am looking for something within 10-15 miles from city, zip. I do have reliable transportation.

////END ONE SHEETER

then you bring that into the interview and have it in front of you. that’s pretty good huh. if I can emphasize all those points.

Uhhh you know what, I might allow a TWO sheeter if your one sheeter is like size 7 or 6 font, thats SO small you can barely read it. so just crank up the font until your one sheeter is now 2 sheets. might do that with the above one.

anyway yeah what happened is just SAD. I embarrassed myself and pushed away a decent person. but she could have done a little bit more tho. but that doesnt make her a dirty slut. she was overwhelmed. I was overwhelmed AS FOOK. shit i was overwhelmed TOO. and what resulted was just SAD. almost sadder than a DEATH. death makes SENSE and give Closure compared to this. Yep in a way its worse than death hahaha. cuz were both still alive. she is living her life and just wants to be done with me and i am living my life and I wish she was still in it, muh life was better with her in it and then she just left wawawawawaw. well she didnt just leave, i made her leave. i pushed her away hahahahaha.

its just so SAD. the SADDEST ending of a rel ever. cuz we had a real rel AND she was a really good person AND it ended in a sad horrible way.

its not like we never knew each other, like with the other sluts; its not like she was a slut, like those sluts.

its just SAAAAAADDDDDDDDDDD as fook.  the whole situation is sad. I am sad hahaha. i think about it and get sad. so dont think about it hahahahaha. easier said than done. when you lose a great person you didnt want to lose.

i mean what she did is not good……but plenty of people do A LOT worse. like cheating. cheating is SO common and its SO many times worse.

also stuff like manipulation and narcissism. very common, and also very worse.

lots of people have trouble being courageous. i do too. i am a coward too.

so i cant really BLAME her. i CAN wish she acted a little better though.

I wish I acted a little better too though! I’m really a decent person I swear! I dont do bad things like cheating, narcissism, manipulation, entitlement!!!!! I just am like the cowardly lion, I wish I had more courage to deal with things STRAIGHT UP.

she’s not a bad person, I’m not a bad person, we were technically really good for each other, we got along really well, but she just didnt have special feelings. and i went crazy and i pushed her and she went crazy and it was a very sad ending to a very beautiful, special, important relationship. how am I ever going to find something taht special again. I wish she had just chosen me hahaha. woke up to what a good thing it would be. we could be really good to each other.

so SAD. I would much rather be MAD than SAD. saddest “breakup” of muh life.

gotta shave beard clean off tomorrow, babyface. that is gonna be interesting.

 

WE’RE TOO BUSY PUTTING OUT FIRES TO PREVENT THEM

apr 16

wow just got invited to take another damn onsite assessment test, for city office job.

i should be happy. i do better at tests than i do at interviews!!!!!! so this means i have a better shot at getting the job!! tests are more fair for anxious weirdos like me! I am more confident that I can do well on a test, MUCH more confident, than I am that i could do well on an interview.

although Mutual Friend boosted my confidence by saying that the Big Boss at the job which I interviewed for in late 2014 and really wanted and did not get and felt kinda screwed, the Big Boss who I thought hated me, actually liked my interview and wanted to hire me.  so thats kewl. would have been better if he just used his clout to hire me but I guess the Politix were too strong.

heh at this rate I might have an actual interview soon hahahaha. too bad that is where I really bomb hahaha.

what would the trumpenfuhrer do. what would trump say, how would trump act, what would trump DO. TRUMP is really one of the best role models for neet losers like us. imitating his general personality is a GREAT idea.

WHAT WOULD TRUMP DO?

I have no doubt trump will disappoint us if he wins, and end up being more Cucky than he is now. Bowing down to our greatest ally, hahahaha. but its safe to say hes the least cucky candidate, and the things he is saying takes balls. and I like a good populist. I too am a man of the people. and the mere audacity to even SUGGEST The Wall, let alone strongly hammer home the point, were gonna build a wall, over and over again. That probably sealed the deal for many of us. the audacity and balls.

it takes TIME to get to know someone and to really like them. when I first met That Person, I felt favorably towards her, but I was much more dialed down. I dont know this person, I dont fully trust them, lets keep them at a distance until they prove themself. and she did. it takes time. its not possible to happen quickly. there is no FAST TRACK. it doesnt work that way. it doesnt go both ways sometimes. thats just the way it is. you dont have to like. i personally like it, i think it is right and just and makes sense. to get to know a person and trust them and love them….takes TIME. it doesnt happen overnight. you cant easily replace them, and you cant easily detach from them.

really that was the best, closest rel I ever had with a woman, period. other friendships with women gradually drifted apart due to the fact that people moved and we didnt see each other regularly. maybe if i had seen them more regularly, over a longer period of time, we wouldnt have drifted apart. but the drifting apart was peaceful and amicable and no hard feelings. not like here.

also we both lived in the same area, saw each other regularly, and the rel got stronger rather than weaker. for me at least. what im saying is that you fookin NORMIES cant tell me i have no right to get upset, because i’m wrong for getting feelings for someone who obviously has no feelings for me.

to that I say, disregard the feelings and just pay attention to the FACT that we have two people who had a long term relship of SOME kind. a long term friendship. just to lose THAT is Very Painful. Can’t you fookin NORMIES understand that? losing a good friend so suddenly and brutally is VERY painful!!!!!!! DAMN!!!!!!

and its real stupid, i think she DOES feel bad about Losing A Friend…..but shes too cowardly to apologize, plus I think Ive reached the point where its too late for her to apologize. if she wants to contact me, she better want to BE with me. for at least a year hahahah. monoamorously. and to SHOW me luv and devotion and loyalty and support. and to WANT to spend time with me. WANT to cuddle with me. not blow me off to hang out with chad. not WANT to hang out with other men. i dont hang out with other women!!!!! so you better not hang out with other men!!! i know life isnt fair, but when you luv each other, you make an effort to be FAIR to each other!

show me more interest. text ME more. text me little hearts and smileys before going to bed.  not texting me 100 times a day, but texting me maybe a COUPLE times a day. have at least ONE positive interaction…..every other day. i could handle every day too. maybe 2 out of 3 days? i dont want to EXPECT too much, hahahahaha.

got the call center help desk customer service textbook i mention a few posts ago. its OK but not great. it would have been GREAT to have right when I got hired at that job, but I actually learned most of that stuff already. through hard trial by fire. this book would have made that process easier in explaining the big picture. so yeah i recommend it. I should have bought it immediately upon getting the job.

BUT it doesnt give shit on what to do if you get confused and dont know the answer. it assumes that all answers can eventually be researched and explained. when they CANT. so how do you deal with that? this book doesnt help you there, and thats the MAIN thing I want help with.

you tell them, I’ll research this on my off time and maybe I can get it fixed or explained in the long term, but dont expect anything. paypal or bitcoin tips would be appreciated since Im not allowed to work on this while at work. I will also argue with higher up teams to try to get somebody who actually does have the knowledge and power to fix this, to take a look at it. they will probably Fob you off by saying they’ve added it to their Long Term Project ROADMAP. and then ignore it forever, hahahaha. cuz they’re too busy Putting Out Fires. Just like level 1. just like any job every. nobody ever prevents fires. we just put them out.

WE’RE TOO BUSY PUTTING OUT FIRES TO PREVENT THEM.

damn. it sounds terrible, but i liked hanging out or being around HER, more than I liked hanging out with my other frands. They are just not as much fun and we dont have as good a “connection” as I thought I had with her.

you are NEVER too busy putting out fires to prevent them, because you can be doing the fire prevention on your free time. after everyone else leaves for the day to go being with their families or work on their masterz degrees. then you do some pro bono work and work to prevent the fires. you expect to get paid for your work goy? thats your first mistake! stupid goyim, hehehehe.

april 17

now Im watching the shining on tv and dont enjoy it as much as i thought i would. and now shelley duvall is reminding me of THAT WOMAN. does she really look like infamously ugly shelley duvall? kind of actually, but better looking. much nicer hair than shelley duvall hahaha. but it is interesting how a very plain jane woman like shelley duvall ever became a “leading lady” for even 1 movie. now i have to see what happened to her.

looks liek she “dated” that sleazy slimy J paul simon for 2 years in the 70s. why would you do that?

because she was probably taken with him being a famous damn singer who honestly wrote some good songs, to care that he was a sleazy sneaky scheming little J! shit even I enjoyed graceland and rhthym of the saints and simon and garfunkel. two sneaky little J’s there!

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Shelley_Duvall

even nice ugly shelley duvall has been been with too many men. a real slut hahaha. has a casual attitude towards sex which shows no respect for life and shows she would be a terrible mother. did she ever have children?

wikipedia mentions no children. so now she is a 66 year old catlady.

well its GOOD she never had children then.

see thats a terrible thing to think about a nice white woman from texas. if she hadnt been snatched up by robert altman, who was obsessed with her, she wouldnt have gotten into hollywood degeneracy.

was altman a J? why didnt HE just marry her before she got too far gone?

I generally respect altman, well I really liked “short cuts.”

hmm not J at ALL, and raised CATHOLIC, educated by jesuits. well he couldnt marry shelley duvall, he had been married to his wife since 1959 until his death in 2000 something and they had many children. well good for them.

hehehehe

anyway I guess I like those plain jane, horseface shelley duvall type women. AS LONG as they are white, AND not fat, AND not a potato shape / stumpy. AND not slutty AND no kids, hahahaha.

but I am kinda a potatoe shape! i think this is “ENDOMORPH.”

well I am working Hard to improve that.

the previous woman was kind of a plain jane too.

basically it means not dressing like a slut, or a slutty slob, or wearing too much makeup, or wearing very tight clothes, etc. you dont NEED to put your bodies so MUCH on display, and you shouldnt WANT to. its a sign of a degenerate society. moral decline.

men and other women can tell you have a decent body WITHOUT wearing tight or revealing clothes. so theres just no reason for it. dont have to wear a burka or beekeeper suit. just dont weak super tight or revealing clothes. wear less slutty as opposed to More Slutty Jeans. dont wear little tank tops with Tits hanging out. dont wear super short shorts. dont wear things that your father wouldn’t approve of. and your father in heaven too hahahahahaha.

you dont need to dress SEXY to prove to everyone you have an attractive body.

no need to make everything SEXY. sex is a private, intimate act. not something you display in public to the whole damn WORLD.

so I really liked that she never seemed to dress “SEXY”. even though she didnt have a father to teach her not to. not that she dressed like a slob or rodeo clown. she just didnt wear super tight or revealing clothes or lots of makeup. not around me at least. she probably dressed like a total fook me slut when she hung out with other guys!!!!

BITCH! BITCH! BITCH!

well I overreacted too. I acted like a CRAZY PERSON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

And believe me, I am NOT proud of that. I am ashamed, scared, embarrassed. I dont want to be a crazy person.

how could I ever have a decent rel with a woman if I GO CRAZY every time something goes wrong?

yeah well things went REALLY wrong here, it was the end of the rel. in a more harsh than average way. it would cause a NORMIE to go a LITTLE crazy. so it made me go high medium crazy hahaha.

yeah i know she was scared and maybe weak. i was scared and definitely weak as hell.

she had all the risk factors to become a HUGE slut. so it was all the more amazing that she was NOT slutty at ALL. but it could certainly still happen.

it doesnt matter! it doesnt matter! im done with her!

but i didnt want to be. i wasnt ready to be. so what. stop complaining about it.

heh i dont WANT to stop complaining about it!

little 37 minute, 320 calorie slow jog around the gayborhood hahaha. no its a great neighborhood, mostly white upper working class good catholic people. nothing fancy, but no riff raff either. exactly the kind of good family neighborhood that is ENDANGERED in current year. Unfortuantely I might never Grow Up and be able to live in a neighborhood this nice of my own accord someday and raise a family there. I should have been well on my way by now.

yeah i was stupid and foolish and dumb to fall in luv with her….but luv is often foolish and dumb. it wasnt a bad aggressive hostile hurtful thing. it didnt need to be responded to so aggressively. passive aggressively i mean.

ok. no ones disputing that.

or are they?

I guess I want THE APPROVAL OF NORMIES AND WOMEN, that what I did not deserve being responded to like THAT. That she REALLY COULD HAVE and SHOULD have been a little nicer.

Cuz I think the jury of Women and Normies would side with HER and be AGAINST me!

when I have no idea thats the case.

against, my need for Arbitration and especially Judgement and Verdicts.

Who was MORE WRONG.

SHE was, of COURSHE!!!!!

I was foolish and dumb, but she was cowardly and didnt lift a finger to do the right thing.

I tried to do the right thing A LOTTTTTTTTTTTTT more than she did, which was not at all!!!!!!!!!

i tried to do the right thing, she ran away from doing the right thing!!!!!

well thing is, pretty much everyone i know that ive told about this doesnt think I did anything WRONG or BAD and that she is overreacting a bit, and it would have been NICE if she responded to me, and that this SUCKS for me.

so thats good ahahaha.

so people understand why i am upset, but not why i am SO upset, or why i luved her so much, and why i cant just get over her more quickly.

because it takes me a loooooooong time hahhahaha.

she got over her 5 year, first real BF ever, quicker than it is taking for me to get over her, and i never even fooked her in the ass 90000000 times hahahaha. gave it to her ass to mouth like a disgusting slut hahaha.

which is to say, i dont want her to become a disgusting slut like that. or one that has casual sex and sucks dicks of guys she just met. some women are dick sucking whores. it takes a few dates to fook them proper, but they will suck your dick within 15 minutes. that is still horrible. my daughter will never do that hahahaha.

dont be a dick sucking whore. dont be a dick fooking whore. dont get near the guys dick until you are in a longterm, monogamous rel with him for at LEAST 6 months. you can get pregnant from this, you disgusting moron degenerate. this is serious shit.  this is not a fooking GAME. dont you get nervous about this? do you really want the thousand cok stare? is that what you want?

you SHOULD be cautious and apprehensive about secs! you can get pregnant!

really I would love for them to have some kind of deeper moral reason, like secs is something Sacred or Holy or Special and its Gross and Wrong to do that with someone you dont know. its a SPECIAL thing you ONLY do with someone SPECIAL. NEVER casually, never randomly.

apr 18

rejection email from hospital materials clerk job, basically a warehouse or storage or supply house for the hospital. probably about 12 DAH hahahaha. well at least they were nice enough to reject me. maybe they were looking for somebody with a masters degree or above hahaha. someone with 300 college credits. Technically I have more college Credits than people with masters degrees hahahah. I was just veyr unfocused and took a lot of useless classes and did not declare a second degree.

no they probably are looking for someone with

  1. recent warehouse experience of more than 1 year
  2. no gaps
  3. someone with LESS education.

lessons learned:

  1. remove degree education from resume
  2. lie about gaps
  3. lie about warehouse experience. that is prob easier than lying about gaps. because I could just lie and say my actual real honest truthful jobs, contained some warehouse duties (lie.) add a lie to a base of truth.

its like lying and saying you have experience with SAP for an accounting clerk job when really you only have very basic experience with quickbooks. 10 years ago. and received clear instruction there. which you later learned that clear instructions are frowned upon. figure it out yourself if you have any initiative or self-starting.

so, better to do it WRONG if it means you dont have to ask for help and look weak or dumb or uncertain or beta or underconfident.

speed is more important than quality. better to give 99% instead of 120%, because its likely ONLY YOU would notice that extra 20% anyway, and it’s gonna slow you down from completing more 99% tasks. 99% is Good Enough.

hahahahahaha eat shit you fat bastards.

who the fook commits crimes within a 1 mile radius of the city police station. I get a daily crime email of crimes in muh city. usually just 2 or 3 Larcenies or Frauds. breaking into cars. sometimes stealing tyres and leaving cars on blocks hahahaha.  and people getting charges on a credit card they never opened.

this fox news anchoress is very attractive and has VERY big buxom breasts, and I think it is unprofessional to show even ONE CENTIMETER of tit cleav4ge. unfortunately this is harder to accomplish with women with above average sized breasts. but i believe they must take up that cross nonetheless. its not that it will cause men to rape you, like the barbaric mudslims which some women seem to prefer over their own countrymen. its that its sleazy and shows no self respect or modesty.

damn. received second rejection email of the day, for health care company, general clerk. I was cautiously optimistic about this one, only called for a high school education or GED, and the duties did not sound super duper highly confusing. probably a 13-14 DAHJ hahaha. they never say the wage unless its a municipal or union job.

moved that into the “job rejections” folder hahahaha.

got 8 rejections in the past 12 days, not too bad.  hahahaha

was at a bar/restaurant i had never been to yesterday for social/entertainment event, in a very quaint and middle class area, and was very attracted to the waitress hahahahah. I thought about steathfully Asking Her Out hahahaha. but it was a huge event and all the waitresses were running around serving like 200 people. I would lose my mind doing their jobs!!!!! it was nerve wracking just to imagine it!

it was an older middle class community with smaller but very well kept houses. as opposed to the newer middle class communities with huge stupid mcmansions and no “main street” and no trees and no “walkability.” i much prefer the older style. it seems like a “real neighborhood.” you could walk to the neighborhood bar, get raging falling down drunk, then walk back home to your fat potato wife you resent because thats the only woman you could find who wouldnt leave you hahahaha. or more likely you live alone and havent been with a woman in 10+ years, or are a basement dwelling neet at home hahaha. then you shouldnt be drinking in bars, its too expensive. but the social aspect is important. getting raging drunk around other people hahahaha and seeing qt waitresses you can go home and jerk off to hahahaha. so what you do is, you sneak in a bottle of cheap whiskey or vodka in your trench coat or geeky cargo pants hahahahaha, and chug it in a bathroom stall, and then order like water hahahaha or cokes.

ok got muh 10 job apps in for the day hahahaha bitches.

use your chrome autofill settings to remember zip codes and addresses from jobs from 10 years ago:

chrome://settings/autofill

REJECTED!!! for 14 dah (they actually stated the wage) order entry job at metals supplier. and I DID lie and said I had 1 year of “order entry” experience! received rejection email same day as applied.

that cowardly bitch was good at one thing, besides being a dirty dick sucking fatherless whore hahahaha, she was good at cranking out job applications for stuff she was woefully unqualified for. probably tons of spelling mistakes and shit too. but that is how she got a 15 DAH full time job and is a much bigger winner than me.

well, actually thats not how she got her job. her longterm BF worked there, and he got both her AND me in there. I got along with him allright and he was not jealous and butthurt that his GF had male friends. probably because he was Emotionally Checked Out and preparing his Exit Strategy, or hoping he would be distant enough that she would dump him. I think ultimately he had to dump her. Wish I knew more about that drama hahaha. as i say, he was a decent guy, but their rel had reached its Natural End.

today I learned that over the last 9 months, my 401k has actually gained like 30 dollars despite a god damn 13 dollar per quarter FEE. in other words, its got to make more than 13 dollars a quarter or else I should roll it over or something. can you roll it over into a regular savings account? would their Member Services people even KNOW that? that assumes they get Training in Frequently ASked Questions. which i wouldnt be surprised if they DIDNT. dont blame them, blame the company which is Managing your god damn 401k. blame fidelity hahahahahaha.

but at least I got my underpants in the mail today hahahaha. that is how awesome I am. Using my huge amazon gift card from doing consumer research to buy damn underpants off amazon hahahaha. the same ones I would buy at the Megamart. super soft hanes boxer shorts.

2016-04-18_15h19_58

this is the open documents tab of muh notepad++.  the top cover letter is a short one:

Dear [company] Talent Acquisition team:

I am the ideal candidate for the [official title] position. I demonstrate exemplary detail-orientation, problem-solving, and communication skills, and I am a very motivated team player. I am committed to supporting the workforce and clientele of this organization, and to finding creative ways to maximize production efficiency and reduce operating costs to an absolute minimum. I have excelled in multi-tasking and problem-solving, and I take great initiative in quickly mastering new knowledge and procedures. I have excelled in completing complex technical procedures to strict quality standards, and in making decisions and taking action in complex, urgent situations. I look forward to an opportunity to discuss this position with you.

Sincerely,

Bubba Bigglippz Bluegumz
555-666-1488
semiteslayer@anuddashoah.il

this short one is good for pasting in the indeed apply now button box. and the bottom one is, as the filename insinuates, is longer than that. i use the shorter one a good 80% of the time.

I WAS WILLING TO WORK ON THINGS. SHE WAS NOT. SHE JUST WANTED IT TO END.

You cant MAKE somebody want to work on things. you cant MAKE them NOT want it to end.

if you want to make it work, and they want it to end……its never going to work. its always going to end.

if one person wants it to end, that always wins out over one person wanting to make it work.

its like rock paper scissors. but NOTHING beats it. NOTHING.

so why not play that option every time? i mean that would be a shitty game of rock paper scissors if you played rock every time and it beat everything.

but a rel is not like rock paper scissors. and wanting it to end is not like rock. its a bad metaphor. rock paper scissors is MORE FAIR hahahaha. more checks and balances.

I applied for an Accounts Payable Clerk job today at some kind of car dealership and this was a new low of stupidity. It gave you five terms and asked you to explain your experience on each. This is actually maybe not bad becuase it gives me a chance to show my bullshitting and communication and writing and intelligence skills before the interview, because I blow interviews, but I do better on tests.

here it is: QUOTE from muh what to say during interview fiel:::::::::::::

As a Technical Support Biotch for Big COmpany, I demonstrated determination or grit on a daily basis. Most of my callers were facing urgent technical problems in which errors were preventing work, and I needed to resolve them quickly. Determination was necessary in exercising good judgment, and in persistently carrying out that judgment with callers who may be skeptical, technically-disadvantaged, or uncooperative. We had to be skilled at giving bad news when necessary, and in dealing with fast-paced, potentially confusing situations.
Determination
Please explain a situation where you recently used the characteristic of determination. The situation that you explain can be in either a personal or professional setting.

stupid car dealer accounts payable posting has darn short answer interview questions. i guess this is a good thing.

=========

At Big Company Help Desk, I showed respect to all team members. We had an urgent, fast-paced work environment, and often asked each other for advice or assistance. I was very willing to offer help, because I appreciated the value of receiving help when I needed it. I went out of my way to offer help and build the morale of my team. I treat others as I want to be treated. I enjoy being treated with respect, so I am proactive in showing that respect to others. You do not need to be somebody’s best friend in order to show them common courtesy and respect. Mutual respect makes for a positive and more productive working environment.
Respect
Please explain a situation where you recently used the characteristic of respect. The situation that you explain can be in either a personal or professional setting.
3000 character max. (2351 characters left)
same stupid company
=========
Integrity
Please explain a situation where you recently used the characteristic of integrity. The situation that you explain can be in either a personal or professional setting.

In my perspective, integrity means accountability, honesty, and straightforwardness. You stand behind the work you produce and don’t try to withhold information from clients or colleagues. You present both the pros and the cons of any given situation. You make the clients aware of any risk factors or small details which are very important, but may be easily overlooked. You make sure everyone is well-informed and on the same page, so as to minimize surprises or unintended consequences. You tell the whole truth even if it is something that might not make the client happy. You do not overpromise things you cannot deliver just to be a people-pleaser. You try to go above and beyond for all clients, but do not promise more than you know you are capable of. It’s also crucial that you follow through with clients to make sure they are satisfied and to see if they have a need for any additional service or information. You also don’t give clients a “runaround”, tell them “we don’t handle that”, or leave work unfinished. You are accountable for your work and if you don’t have the authority to help a client, you will personally introduce them to someone who does.

3000 character max. (1831 characters left)

come on guys
============

Vision
Please explain a situation where you recently used the characteristic of vision. The situation that you explain can be in either a personal or professional setting.

Vision can either refer to the mission of the organization, in a big picture sense, and on an individual level, it can refer to your own sense of good judgment. It’s essential for team members to have good judgment and be able to make well-informed decisions with their projects and clients, so that each individual can add value both for the clients, and for the organization as a whole. A team composed of many people all exercising good judgment can then build a positive trajectory for the organization over the long-term, as the company moves forward in providing more value to more clients.

3000 character max. (2404 characters left)

really this is just getting tediuous.
====

Empathy
Please explain a situation where you recently used the characteristic of empathy. The situation that you explain can be in either a personal or professional setting.

Empathy is critical to both work and personal success. You need to be able to put yourself in the other person’s position in order to build a productive relationship with them. Listen to what they are saying and how they are saying it. Show the client that you truly understand their issue and how it impacts them, without being patronizing. Then take ownership of their issue and tell them how you are going to solve it. Follow through with them until they are satisfied. Deliver on your promises and build positive relationships with clients. Empathy is the cornerstone of a great customer experience. You have to care about the clients’ wants and needs, and gain their trust in your ability to serve those wants and needs.

I’m not describing specific situations, so this will probably be thrown into the trash. Im trying to demonstrate my BS skills tho.
====

END QUOTE

so that was it. all for a damn 13 DAH job hahahaha.

I was thinking a simple solution to all the worlds problems would be to take the 4 years of high school, and make the final 2 years a damn associates degree. essentially cut high school in half and do the final 2 years at a community college so you have an associates degree by age 18. then you can get a bachelors degree by age 20 if you want. there is NO WAY HIGH SCHOOL should take 4 years, train you for NOTHING, and eat up 4 of the most valuable years of your life, where you are strong, health, you body and brain works well, you can learn everything faster and better. you could PROBABLY get the full bachelors degree done by age 18, but I am being conservative here. full 2-year associates degree level of training by age 18, the traditional end of high school. well trained for many entry level jobs to make 15 DAH and be a productive Tax Payer and support yourself.

why wouldnt FEDGOV want MORE TAX LIVESTOCK hahahaha. its in FEDGOV’s best interest to have employable youths!!!!!! not fookin layabout neets who become criminals and isis and welfare and active shooters and neets and dead weight! consumers not producers! eaters not feeders! takers rather than givers to uncle sam!!!!!

i like to think those bullshit answers i gave are good enough to get an interview for a damn 13 DAH job! but maybe they earned me the politeness of a rejection email at least hahahaha.

i gotta get back to flashcards. make 100 flashcards of the most important things I need to know. maybe 50 about that woman and 50 about job related stuff.  i only learn things with flashcards. therefore, make flashcards.

MAKE FLASHCARDS.

I have a number of flashcard worthy things in here.

i have bundles of old flashcards saved that i could probably use.

yeah so i was annoying and pushy. that was not super cool. but she was WAY MORE super uncool. come on. write an email or something, EVENTUALLY.

im sorry i was pushy. but it didnt hurt her as much as she hurt me hahaha. i just annoyed her and made her roll her eyes and go ugh. she broke muh heart and devastated me hahahaha.

did 4.2 mile walkjog, burn 480 calkories. was listening to type o negative “dead again” and in the song “september sun” which starts off like a ripoff of motley crue “home sweet home”, but sort of gets better, there is a catchy TON style chorus where he says “leave her…leave her alowowowone.” and so then I always think “damn pete, I AM leaving her along. she wanted to be left alone, i left her alone 9 months ago. I sent her about 1 email per 11 days during the last 34 days of our “contact” and she never responded. then that was IT. then i left her alone forever.

yes I was pushy to her beforehand. and yeah she did tell me once. sort of, to maybe not be so pushy. and I know we dont always owe people reasons or explanations, and NO is a COMPLETE SENTENCE.

I dont know. I think when you KNOW someone for 2.7 years, you DO sort of owe them an explanation, or at least an email, and not to expect them to be okay with being SHUT OUT completely for an indefinite period of time. it has to be a TWO WAY STREET.

I’ll give you time and space, BUT YOU HAVE TO GIVE ME A TIME WHEN WE’LL MEET. one month or so.

ooo theres a good flashcard.

ok i just made 4 flashcards to start. pretty basic stuff. thats the POINT.

  1. I want to work on this relationship. Are you willing to do the same, or do you want to end it? we need to COMMUNICATE.
  2. If you want to get out of this rel, I’d appreciate being treated with respect and common courtesy.
  3. I will give you time and space, but…(flip card over)….it would be NICE f you give me an exact time we will meet and talk about this. and/or some kidn of explanation.
  4. We need to talk NOW.
  5. I feel sad and rejected when you avoid hanging out with me for months.  (might be accusatory: try when we haven’t hung out for months and you always say no when I ask you again and again hahaha.)

stupid ass what to say during the interview file

QUOTE

I used to struggle when a caller would claim that, in the past, they were able to do something, or the program had a certain feature which it doesn’t seem to have any more, but I didn’t know enough about the program or the process to know how it has changed over the course of several years. Often it was difficult if not impossible to find irrefutable evidence of when a feature was removed. Maybe the feature was instead relocated or repurposed instead of removed entirely. Asking an SME (level 2), they might respond, this was never possible, the caller is mistaken. Not having mastery and experience with the program or procedure, I would have to take my SME’s word….but the caller might not be willing to. Very often people don’t like to be told they are wrong. I could not simply tell the caller they were imagining things. I would tell them I haven’t found any evidence that the feature they’re looking for still exists, and that when I checked with an SME in the subject, they said they couldn’t find any evidence it still existed either. I can continue investigating, but it does not very hopeful, and there’s a good chance I will come back to you 10 minutes later with the same answer. In this case, the caller would most likely sigh in annoyance and say that’s all right, I’ll work around it. Then I would apologize and submit a formal feature request on behalf of the caller, but also warn them that although I could guarantee their request will be read and considered, I cannot guarantee a callback or that the request will be approved, and I have absolutely no estimate on when it may be implemented. If implemented it would take at least 3 months. I apologize for the inconvenience. I can see how that feature was convenient, and I don’t have an explanation as to why it was removed.

OR I would take ownership of the case myself, as I would probably not get permission to escalate it from the original SME/level 2 who was saying the feature didnt seem to be available any more. I would research the issue on my own free time and then call the caller back with the explanation within 48 hours.

During that time I would consult with different SME’s and see what advice, evidence they could offer; or see if they would be willing to escalate the case to tier 3, who has the power to actually engineer the system. Developers, engineers, QA. Then I would call the caller and inform them of this update. Then I would bookmark the case and follow up with it every several days until it was closed. If it did not appear to be moving forward, I would contact the last agent who worked on the case and say I’d like to follow up with this caller, could you please tell me what is the resolution to this case, and would you like to close the case or should I? because sometimes level 2 and 3 want to maximize their case close numbers.

Also, if the case were closed without the caller being contacted, I would contact the caller and let them know the resolution. if there were not a clearly noted resolution, I would contact the last agent on the case, and ask them to update the case with a full resolution and I will call the caller, or they can call the caller if they want to. Either way, let me know. the caller deserves follow up.

END

anyway my point was when a caller argues with you, why cant I do this any more, just a couple months ago I was able to do this, whats changed, how do I do this now, and you’re like i dunno I have no idea what you can and cant do in this weird complicated program, and i have no idea whats changed. let me ask level 2.

ok level 2 says that cant be done your wrong.

well your level 2 is wrong, i swear I did this about 4 months ago.

ok. ok. let me get back to him and see if we can send a case up.

ok he doesnt want to approve escalation. (well its bad to go down this route, because then they’ll want to talk to level 2.) well heres what I can do for you. I can research this and call you back within 72 hours, but I’m probably not gonna be able to get any help from higher up on this, and 80% chance our answer is not gonna change. were not gonna be able to do that thing, and I wont be able to find any documentation that it was taken out. They might not have taken it out, it might have never existed in the first place, and the first level 2 was right. or they might have taken it out and then not made a note of it. or they might have taken it out and made a note of it, but I have no access to their documents, and to help me, they’d have to escalate a case and work on themselves, and they dont wanna….i mean…umm…..IT IS WHAT IT IS. NOT GONNA HAPPEN. NOTHING WE CAN DO. IT IS WHAT IT IS. you might have been able to do this in the past, but you cant do it any more, period. it sucks, but IT IS WHAT IT IS.

hahahaha.

how would that woman handle it?

shed say sorry cant do that any more is there anything else i can help u with

and then the person would say ugh im not gonna get anywhere with this moron

and that woman would never think about it again, never look into the issue again, it would never bother her again.

and i would go crazy trying to provide evidence of when they took the feature out.

it might not even be an important enough feature to warrant noting if they took it out. but I have no sense of PERSPECTIVE on the damn program. you dont have any perspective on anything in the first 6 months.

one thing i wish i had done more is when I was able to transfer a caller to another department, was actually do a conference call with that other department, just to see what they actually DID. I would never be found out, my phone would look the same, like i was still on the call, which I technically WAS!!!!!

Also the idea of Unofficially Taking Ownership so that I could call back a caller. but since you couldnt get approval for After Call Work if it was gonna take more than 10 minutes of research…..if you wanted to do 30 minutes of research, ya better do it unpaid on your free time hahaha. double whammy there. on the other hand, it would be good studying, and you’d probably be worried about it anyway, and study it anyway, so why not tell the caller you’ll call them back in……72 hours. and if they bitch at you, tell them you’re doing this in your free time, when I should be spending time with my family. simply because no one higher up thinks this is worth someone of their intellect looking at this case. so you’re stuck with me.

I can also put you back into the general queue and hope the next person you get is better at this than me.

i mean if you tell a person you cant do this, and you’ll have to hold for 10 minutes just to get an explanation why you cant do it……they will probably say that’s ok, its not worth it. so you can play that gambit.

you don’t learn this type of stuff from books, and you don’t learn it from co workers. you figure it out for yourself while you are trying to fight your way out of the most ridiculous situations with no help. thrown to the wolves.

damn i should have just transferred people right back to another level 1.

but see thats….i dont know. if they get a good level 1 who can help them, thats good….but then that level 1 would be smart enough to look at that persons history (maybe) and see that I just talked to them a few minutes ago and closed the case without resolution. because you dont want to note that you transferred it back to level 1. also better to just close the case and say nothing, rather than lie and say you told them IT IS WHAT IT IS. although that is probably what you SHOULD have told them.

it’s tricky knowing what kind of lies and omissions you can get away with in the case notes!

because you HAVE to cut corners in order to reach the bare minimum! quota or target or goal or whatever metrics.

but you cant say this in an interview!

also, i dont LIKE cutting corners! were not talking about giving them 99% here. more like 60%. 60% isnt good enough for me or my callers hahahaha. 99% is though. but muh level 2’s arent giving me the support I need to get to 99%! because THEY are stretched too thin and dont have enough time or people to give you the help you need!

so the only solution is to MAKE more time by doing this work off the clock.

heh. i was just angry that i was willing to do this but SHE was not. she would be flying out the door the second her shift ended. you were TECHNICALLY allowed to be 10 minutes late without penalty. at 11 or 12 minutes, you officially got points. so guess what she did. yes. cut it super close ALL THE TIME. while I was getting in 30, 45, 60 minutes BEFORE start of shift to read email, look at cases, make coffee for people, go to bathroom and have nervous coffee shits, show managers and level 2’s i was a team player.

she doesnt need to do that because everyone likes her because she is a purty gurl.

now she can cancel this out by being a huge bitch, and many women do.

but she is usually super nice to people so, she prob wont. everyone will say what a NICE gurl, i wish I had a gurlfran or wife like that, i always date these bitchy bitches, why aren’t there any NICE women any more, oh thank GOD, here’s one!!!!!!!!!