COMMON COURTESY IS A REASONABLE EXPECTATION

sept 14

i dont WANT an EXPLANATION of WHY, I already know WHY, that’s nothing. I jsut wanted to be treated nicer, like a human being, like i mattered, like our Rel mattered, like it was an important rel between two human beings. sheeeeeit i already know WHY. the WHY is not important. I just wanted more kindness and gentleness and less ice coldness hahahaha. treat me and our Past Rel with DIGNITY.

i dont are about why. i already KNOW why. case closed. i just wanted to know what she was thinking regarding hurting me. did you really WANT to HURT me? and WHY was THAT?

other thing: besides being humiliated on a personal level, i felt humiliated on a woring level: i failed at this job, while she succeeded at the same job. She could handle it, I couldn’t. She’s moving up, I’m moving down. I cant handle REAL LIFE as good as her. She is a winner, i am a loser, and losers like me dont deserve to associate with winners like her. and maybe thats why she rejected me so brutally on a personal level. because i was just inferior scum in every conceivable way. i was like the slimiest, most scheming little sleazy greasy joo to her.

and i think abotu how women Botch Relationships and Emotioanlly Overreact (I screwed up TOO but she screwed up WAY more), and I think, how the hell can women do JOBS and make 13 dollars an hour??? you need to make GOOD decisions! you need to have a record of excellence! you need to communicate clearly and decisively! women cant do this shit! they are like a 50 foot baby with a flamethrower! how can they be mature enough to handle a 13 an hour job, LET ALONE a 20 dollar an hour job??!?!?!?!!?!?!?!?

she never made flashcards! she never looked at old cases! she never studied when she went home! she never did homework! yet i failed and she succeeded! I wanted to know how shit worked, she just said idk lol! and got a man to help her! and she is the winner and i am the loser at life! FOOK THAT SHIT!!!! FOOK THIS GAY EARTH.mov

maybe i should embrace hating women like i embracing being a racist.

so i thought, well i dont even HATE other races, i just dont think races can coexist all that well. but women of my own race annoy the shit out of me just as much or even more than people of other races!

and this is not good, i thought. it jsut doesnt feel like something natural or sustainable the way being a racist feels pretty natural. i dont really WANT To hate women in other words.

also, for a man like me who wants so much to be a father and have children…..i dont think its a good idea for a Good Father to HATE WOMEN!!!!!!!

Good Fathers don’t hate women, they get along with women and teach their children how to get along with women!

so yeah in order to level up to pull good women, i need to learn how to deal with low level trash women on okcupid hahahaha.

i guess muh goals in life were never specific enough. find a nice gf. that became find a nice gf and make her muh waifu. as i got older. then that became have children with the waifu. and also get a 13 dollar an hour job with benefits and weekends off that doesnt drive me crazy. that is all.

maybe GOD is not calling me to be a father though. or even to be married. some people are called to be SINGLE 4 LYFE. Its just very weird though. cuz some of my biggest goals were to be married, have children. now GOD is telling me that i’m WRONG??!?!?! these arent horrible ungodly things! GOD LUVS marriage and family and so do I!!!!!!

but maybe  this is not what GOD has meant for me and my life. which is frustrating, because, like i just said, god LUVS marriage and family!

so i thought that well, maybe i’m supposed to be single and childless and I can still support marriage and family by…..doing marriage and family related work. it just seems frustrating though. that all these people can get married, have families and children, some of them are totally shitty too. and i’m meant to SUPPORT families, but i’m not allowed to have a family myself? it sounds CRUEL and SADISTIC!!!! like TORTURE!!!!! God doesnt just TEST us, he TORTURES us!!!!!!!! why the hell CANT I have a family?

well, besides I am totally not ready for it. but i really should be at this age. I mean realistically i have too many ISSUES to be a husband and father. unfortunately. but its the truth.

also, i want to know if i did something terrible, SO I DONT DO IT AGAIN IN THE FUTURE!!!!!!!

i dont want to fook things up this bad again!!!!!!

but again thats an unknown. most likely i didnt do anything horribly wrong, like lie or cheat where i really AM the bad guy at fault. sometimes that shit DOES happen. sometimes it IS your fault.  sometimes you ARE the bad guy.

it would have almost been better if she said YOUR THE BAD GUY, THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT.

heh. maybe.

i hate making mistakes, but i might hate NOT KNOWING if i made a mistake or not even MORE!

i mean if i ever get feelings for a friend again, i WILL handle it differently, namely, tell them assertively and quickly.

oh yeah. when women think “ALL GUYS LOOK AT PORN.”

WRONG! so yeah that is triggering. they havent met me yet! I dont look at porn because it is jooish filth that ruins women and men! poisons the mind and soul!!!! i actively do NOT watch porno and can’t imagine wanting to watch it EVER AGAIN!!!!!! its DISGUSTING!!!!!!!!

applied for 5th job today. army related job. administering asvab tests hahahaha. 15 an hour. found out it was casual/intermittent, meaning no benefits. sheeeeeeeeeeeeeeit. thats the whole reason to get a fedgov job!

well i did not see that until i was 80% done with the grueling 16 minute application hahahaha.

NOTE: the first time you apply for a USAJOBS job, it will take MUCH longer to build your superresume, get all your shit together etc.

all guys do not look at porn, just the manly men you date hahahahaha

omega male sex negative neets think porn is disgusting degeneracy hahahahaha but we are invisible to women so…..

Women SHOULD be CAUTIOUS, they can get PREGNANT!!!!!

BE MORE CAUTIOUS! SHOW MORE CAUTION! DISCRETION!

how can someone with the maturity level of a CHILD make an ABOVE AVERAGE INCOME???? make WAY MORE THAN ME?

also it sucks when they are much more mature with other people, and super immature with you.

then you wonder, what did I do, so I don’t do it again!

but what you did was not super duper offensive, but just basic bitch communication mistakes.

besides, if you are doing something SUPER wrong, like lying or cheating…….you usually KNOW it, and you think, welp, I can GET AWAY with this, they’ll never find out. nothing like that here.

TEN dollar an hour job where posting calls for EIGHTY wpm typing. i have 60.

EIGHTY words a minute for TEN dollars an hour. 

wtf?

113 people applied, so i should apply too hehehehe.

i have a great SUPPORT SYSTEM, so why the hell am i so insecure and unstable and struggling and on the edge?

i have to remember, i dont hate all women. this woman i see at my weekly game, she is very nice and good and i like her and she doesnt annoy me. when i first met her, she kind of annoyed me a little but now i totally appreciate and like her. too bad i am not in luv with her hahahaha. i really didnt have any of that interest in her. not a slut either. darn near asexual which was starting to become weird…..but in the past few years she met a good decent man and they are getting married. pretty much a perfect situation there. he is pretty masculine and not a niceguy wimp pvssy like me, but i get the idea that he has morals and was not a degen womanizer at any point.

separate website for FBI jobs, they are not posted on USAJOBS………i dont think.

ok applied for gs05, 32k level job with air force. it specialist hahahahaha. now this is more like it. there are some fedgov bennies hahahaha. however no specific openings at my local air force base. might never be an opening hhehehe.

ok 6 jobs for today hehehe good enough.

well 7 would be better but i am getting back on the horse. i mean SHEEEEEEEIT, i might have to get to 600 jobs. at 600 i will start sucking dicks for recruiters until i become blacklisted by every recruiter in town. there are a lot of recruiters in town! sometimes it seems there are more recruiters than nonrecruiters hahahaha.

anyway im saying it would take MANY YEARS for me to burn through every recruiter in town.

but yeah it bothers me that a person can be more successful than me yet be a lot more immature than me…..and i am pretty immature.

also, i was the one putting myself out there. she wasnt really putting herself out there at all. she COULD HAVE. in the sense that it would have took some agency and initiative to Respond to the Request, and say Listen, I’m Not Interested, Let’s End this in a good way.

but no she just shut down entirely.

i did not shut down entirely regarding HER.

i did kinda shut down regarding my job and my life.

but its impossible to communicate or deal with a person who SHUTS DOWN.

basically, she shut down, I didnt. I was begging her not to shut down.

yeah, i shouldnt have BEGGED…….but jeez. if someone is begging you, just humor them. i dunno. ive never had anyone BEG me before. I imagine i would write them an email hahahahha.

SHE SHUT DOWN, I DIDNT.

you cant do anything with someone who shuts down. cant communicate, cant make the best of a bad situation. shutting down is abotu the worst communication there is. i did bad communication but not this bad. i didnt shut down.

how can SHE make more money than me and be more successful at life than me???!?!?!?!?!

and in relships too. she had a 4 year relship that could have resulted in marriage. i have never had a long term monog committed rel with a woman, ever.  that in itself is a damn red flag to women, and i have to damn lie about it essentially, or just avoid talking about it.

but i also feel like i havent been given a fair CHANCE. give me a CHANCE and dont GIVE UP and WALK OUT on me. im not THAT bad!!!!!!!! i honestly believe that! im not perfect but im not THAT bad!!!!!!!

i dont SHUT DOWN. I’ll write you a longass email before I shut down. Or leave you a 5 minute voice mail of me rambling. i will tell you whats on my mind in great detail!!!!!!!!! look at this blog!!!!!!

http://www.theabsolute.net/misogyny/onwomen.html

dont look for a redpilled woman, you wont find a decent one. just find a nice decent wholesome woman who has not taken too many dix and you can make her redpilled.

i have known this for a while, i am very comfortable being the red pill person hahahaha. just want a wholesome, moral, decent, nice, woman, thats all.

fook politics, fook redpills, fook race, fook music, fook taste, fook coolness. dont sweat the small stuff hehehe.

she will prove her race loyalty simply by not being interested in fooking nonwhites. and OF COURSE she WILL say something like “but Im not racist, i swear!” im not so autistic any more that I want a woman to say “yes Im proud to be a racist!” for a woman, thats just WEIRD!!!!!!!!!!! for a man, its pretty cool tho.

its very similar to when i was young, i thought it would be so cool to find a waifu who liked METAL. now im smart enough to know that would be a fooking clusterfook. it would be similar to find a full on 1488 waifu. they would prob be bipolar, borderline, and fooking ingras in 6 months.

note: i don’t think That Woman was Over the line crazy like that. she was acceptable levels of normie female crazy. she just greatly disappointed me is all. she is still way less evil than average. a good person who did something very disappointing to me. shit i would take her back in an instant hahahahaha.

i mean women are just not good at making real world judgments and doing things in the real world. yet they make shitloads more money at jobs in the real world. when they have no real SKILL in the real world! i mean when it comes to SERIOUS shit in the real world,  you’d be a fool to trust a woman! they jsut dont have it! and i dont say that to be mean! its just the way it is! its just not a good match for them! their skill set is elsewhere! namely, raising children. and heres the thing, that can of course be extremely compromised as well. in the current year. so many times it appears that many women are good for absolutely NOTHING.

i mean many women in the real world are literally good for absolutely nothing. its sad and horrifying and it didnt have to be that way.

and that woman, she was not one of those worthless women. like i say, i hurts a lot more to be rejected by the good, decent women. those are the ones that take longest to get over. because something of great value was lost. as opposed to something of no value. or negative value hahahaha.

i guess i should meditate on this real life woman i know who is not a piece of garbage, but actually a decent, good, wholesome, moral person. nope she is not redpilled, nope she is not politically minded, yes she likes the worst music and tv shows and movies ever.  but she has good morals, has lived according to those morals, and would make a good wife and mother. perfect. i am not attracted to her but i wish I were. well actually not, because she is getting married and good for them i say. its about time. really she’s getting married a little late at like age 29 or 30, but better late than never in her case.

so whenever i think of That Woman, i should replace her with thoughts of This Woman. Yes.

and i dont think even if you cut muh balls off it would even help. my secsual libido is not the problem. its loving people who are gone, unavailable, and never luved me.

ok want to get in at least 2 applications before my afternoon powerwalk hahaha.

ok got in 3 but they were so low energy. local shitty hospital using ultipro ATS. it kinda incentivizes low energy applications. 3 to 5 minutes each. can only have one resume/packet on there at a time. ideally this is ideal, and employers wouldnt care if you only took 3 minutes on an app vs 30 minutes. but of course they do. and if you spend only 3 minutes, you will get screened out.

yeah tv is really triggering. i usually have it on as background noise……..but i really SHOULDNT. this is not a value added strategy hahahaha.

got 3 apps in real quick. the jobs.com site said full time but 2 were ACTUALLY part time. i dont think this is intentional. i think it is just basic incompetence from whoever manages the jobs.com postings. basic bitch not knowing how to do your job so you just Fudge It and pretend like you know what youre doing…..even though you have no idea of best practices. this is very common. this is the norm hahahaha. norm 4 normies. normies gonna norm hahahahaha.

ok time for powerwalk.

ok did 4.18 mile pwalk. listened to azzmador talking with grandpa lampshades.

ok this isnt the exact one but i should listen to this one.

they are both total laid back southern gentlemen, i have difficulty telling them apart hahahaa except azzmador has a slightly deeper voice. but i love this laid back, polite, friendly, southern hospitality.

very j00 wise alt right type guys who each do their own podcasts but not on trs. but i am sure they approve of trs. they are not renegade tier or anything hahahahaha.

heh. if i am going to have children i cant afford, i might as well do that with some woman i am madly in luv with and would never want to leave hahahaha. of course she could veyr well want to leave me!

because honestly i cant EVER imagine being ABLE to afford children!

heh. i could probably smoke MJ all day, then take the next 2 days off, and then my system would be clear to pass a drugs test. thats pretty good right?

ok how about 3 days.

really the best think i can do is powerwalking hahaha. i wish i was as good about lifting. but powerwalking is my strength, muh skill set, and i want to be the best powerwalker i can be hahaha.

the other thing i naturally do is writing this trash……………… and tbh the powerwalking is a lot BETTER FOR ME.

the writing CAN be good SOMETIMES but it can EASILY go both ways.

the walking cannot. the walking is ALWAYS good. cant go wrong. win win.

these women are NIHILISTIC and SOCIOPATHIC. the horrible lives they lead. the empty, shallow relationships. the things they value. MORAL INVERSION. NIHILISTIC and SOCIOPATHIC. treating people like OBJECTS.

i have been antsy since not having an interview is a while. and i am at 18.5 and i need to get to at LEAST 25. meaning 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, and 24 are all gonna be worthless. other than getting me one closer to magic 25.

but 25 isnt magic! like i say, on the whole, i feel i do PRETTY GOOD on interviews! i mean i dont SLAM DUNK it, but i still feel i do well enough to get an offer before 25!

bridget jones baby? a 50 year old slut with tons of grotesque plastic surgery creating a miserable innocent life out of her 50 year old adolescent sluttery? absolutely disgusting! if i didnt have the tv on i would never have seen that bullshit movie commercial!

women cannot give good advice basically. if you ever need HELP with figuring something out, god forbid you go to a woman. they might mean well, but my god they cannot give good advice. they MIGHT mean well though. that does count for something. but dear god dont take their awful advice. what makes /r/relships so shitty is all the WOMEN chiming in with their shitty advice. i need a MEN ONLY forum. but not necessarily a MGTOW or got forbid GAME forum. but 99% of Men Only forums are going to be MGTOW, MRA, or Game.

well, not TRS though. but TRS doesn’t have a relationship section. but they should hahahahaha.

MAYBE I SHOULD START IT hahahahaha.

I think it would go over better than me starting a Neet Section.

but I DO like having a Neet Blog which is very Alt Right!

like women will tell you that college and career is more important than a rel, and encourage people to break up just because theyre YOUNG and those early relships NEVER work out, you have a chance for a great FUTURE by getting into a Top 50 school, so just break up with so and so even though u luv them. bullshit advice like that.

women are so BLUE PILL on things like college. they were encouraging another woman who had left a 45k a year job so she could go back to COLLEGE and become a TEACHER. holy SHIT.  thats exactly the kind of bad advice women give. because you’ll be so glad you got your teaching degree and now make 20k a year with part time sub jobs and no health care. babysitting feral black chirren.

https://bu.reddit.com/r/relationships/comments/52xouc/recently_my_girlfriend_20_f_and_i_19_m_of_25/

not a lot of commentary right now. but i want more people to say yeah she is really an ice cold bitch, not “it doesnt matter, youre not entitled to anything.” no, of course he’s not, but IT WOULD BE NICE if she could DIGNIFY A 3 YEAR RELSHIP by not meeting these sleazy new friends, staying up till 6 am, going on tinder right in front of him. show some COURTESY for the HEART you are breaking and the Long Term Relationship you are Single Handedly Ending, I would tell her.

dont tell him “its over, get over it.”

yes of COURSE he should go no contact but give him some moral support at least. damn. judge her behavior as shitty and sleazy!!!!!!! judge her as the bad guy here!!!!!! because she is!!!!!!!!!!!

now i dont talk too much shit about That Woman. Sometimes sure. but not overall. most of this is just me grieving and moaning and whining. but i can’t say what a shitty person she was…….because she wasnt. she was honestly a good decent wholesome person who just dropped the ball here and disappointed me greatly. but it wasnt because she was a shitty, horrible person. she just fight or flight and shut down. she could be a great wife and mother to a different man.

ok i turned off the tv and am listening to beethovens 1st symphony. not sure why. just wanted some classical music symphony fast. something that wasnt too jooish. and that is a symphony.

she doesnt NEED to consider your feelings. again, technically correct, but to tell the guy that…..that is weak womanly advice. no, she doesnt need to, but she SHOULD, after 2-3 YEARS, show him some god damn COMMON COURTESY.

COMMON COURTESY IS A REASONABLE EXPECTATION.

https://bu.reddit.com/r/relationships/comments/52wdvu/i_31m_am_having_an_extremely_hard_time_moving_on/

she wants to be just friends, he thinks he needs to go no contact and cant do just friends because she broke up with him and he still wants her. he sees her at bar, is drunk, gets emotional, now he’s the bad guy. come on. meanwhile she’s tweeting about fooking strangers off tinder. god damn. so he’s supposed to be cool with the love of his life dumping him and fooking randos. and hes the bad guy for getting upset once. come on.

COMMON COURTESY from the woman is a reasonable expectation. not tweeting about EVIL DEGENERATE NIHILISTIC SOCIOPATHIC casual secs and being a filthy, degenerate whore. he has every right to be upset. yes he should go no contact.

so yeah. whatever happened to common courtesy. human decency. early termination fee. treat the person youre dumping with respect and kindness because THIS HURTS THEM.

casual secs IS unqualifiably degenerate, and she wants to throw away something good and wholesome, to do degenerate filth. of course he has a right to be upset.

at the very least she shouldn’t be pushing him to be friends, to understand that he is hurt, and needs no contact.

what did SHE do when Chad dumped her? probably some really shameful things trying to get chad back! and then fooked a bunch of casuals when chad laughed in her face!

now she’s pissed at the guy SHE dumped because he’s having a hard time with it? what a fookin coont!!!!!

and when this bitch on reddit says yeah you did act like an asshole, he responded with yeah i know i feel so bad about it, i know i should apologize to her etc etc. i downvoted the bitch hahaha.

common courtesy. human decency. part of the social contract of having a relship is NOT BEING A PIECE OF SHIT WHEN YOU END THE REL.

HAVING THE RIGHT TO SINGLE HANDEDLY END THE REL SHOULD COME WITH THE RESPONSIBILITY OF NOT BEING A PIECE OF SHIT WHEN YOU END IT. 

so many women didnt get that memo. too immature.

and i dont care if i am making a should statement. THIS SHOULD BE A SHOULD STATEMENT!!!!!

STAND FOR SOMETHING OR YOU WILL FALL FOR ANYTHING.

STAND UP FOR WHATS RIGHT, GOOD, JUST, TRUE, AND BEAUTIFUL.

DONT BE A PIECE OF SHIT.

DONT BE A NIHILISTIC SOCIOPATH.

DONT BE A JOO.

now that is the type of lecturing i can support!

i would be a great lecturer. sermonizer.

oh but they broke up 4 months ago so everybody should be KEWL, thats plenty of time to get comfortable with the love of your life dumping you, without willing to work on it, and fook randoms, and youre the bad guy to get upset at that and not want to be her platonic friend and hear about her degen secs life. god damn fooking degenerates. i am this close to private messaging the guy and telling him he is totally in the right and not to listen to that bitch that said “he definitely fooked up”. fook that bitch!

RELATIONSHIP BILL OF RIGHTS AND RESPONSIBILITIES.

you HAVE to include the Ending Terms in their too.

THE ENDING IS PART OF THE RELATIONSHIP.

so yeah it IS her concern, it IS her business. if she can end it on her whim, then she has to put forth good faith, good will, and effort to do the WORK necessary to end it at her whim. and that involves human decency, common courtesy, and not being a piece of shit. wow. i guess if you ask for that, then you are the bad guy.

you’re the bad guy if you think casual secs is degenerate and bad and a terrible way to finish off a beautiful LTR.

cuz its all the same, theres no good or bad or right or wrong.

and this is 30 year old people with professional careers, level 2 and above making 60k a year, saying all this disgusting shit.

FOOK THIS GAY EARTH!

and she has NO IDEA why the guy is upset! unbelievable! a 29 year old woman with the maturity of a 12 year old and she makes more money than i ever will!!!! unbelieveable!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11

TREAT PEOPLE THE WAY YOU WANT TO BE TREATED!!!

DUMP PEOPLE THE WAY YOU WANT TO BE DUMPED!!!!!

how can all these WOMEN not even BEGIN to understand that????!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

no not all women. but a good 50% of them hahahahaha.

half of them are in this basket of deplorables hahahahahaha

its amazing you have to shout these Things I Learned In Kindergarten to Grown Fooking Women.

well remember its not all women. only HALF of women, hahaha.

oh but the ending isnt part of the relationship, these sneaky little j’s claim. i dont have ANY responsibilities the second i say “im done” and walk out.

that is an extremely JOOISH view of humanity and human relations. all these sneaky little loopholes, just like a joo trying to joo you out of service. sorry goy thats not in the contract. here’s the thing, there is no real contract. no exchanges, no refunds, no service, thanks for the money, chump!

theyve turned our women into sneaky little joos!!!!!!

i dont want to talk to women, i dont want to read womens stupid thoughts. the only time i will listen to a woman is if she is being NICE and PLEASANT. women CAN be good at that when they want to be. having just utterly harmless, charming, nice small talk, just being damn NICE. its really not that hard. doesnt take a lot of effort, energy, or creativity. just be nice. dont be an annoying, unscrupulous joo.

sept 2016: i keep hearing hearsay that millennial woes got a ladyfriend and that it is makign him more confident and masculine. I HOPE SO!!! GOOD FOR YOU LAD!!!!!!

I luv MW but havent listened to him lately cuz i dont luv the hangouts. anyway i would be VERY happy if he got a nondegen waifu, he DESERVES a good waifu, and indeed it would help him become an even better man…..as waifus can potentially do. shit it would help ME!

sept 16

yeah so i dont care that mw had a gay past, except that it makes him kinda neurotic and despairing and has consequences for his current mental/emo health, but he can certainly mitigate those consequences, and i believe he has done that. now i just hope his gf isnt a degen bitch who dumps him and breaks his heart because that could really set him back. i know. hahahahaha. remember he also fell in luv with a WOMAN before and when she rejected him, that broke his heart for YEARS and that hurt him a LOT. ive been there hahahaha.

i mean yeah this is what i am obsessed with. muh white whale. muh wheelhouse. relships between men and women. period. that is what i should do my career in. period.

so funny. for most normies this is just an accepted part of life. you get a gf and bang and sometimes it works out and sometimes it doesnt, but you just keep going until at age 25 you find someone you could probably marry and then you marry them, have children, and maybe they divorce you in 5-10 years.

but theres no need to study and obsess and analyze because you know you have the tools to be in a serious LTR because you’ve been in them before or you’re in one now!

since i have never been, i just don’t know that i have the Tools. and that is part of my obsession, studying How Women Are, and How Men Are, and the nuts and bolts of communication, problem solving etc.

when REALLY, i probably ALREADY HAVE the Tools i need, i just havent found the right woman. who is willing to let me use those tools hahaha.  because they were never WILLING. they were not OPEN, they just wanted to WALK AWAY. because they Just Werent That Into Me. but it they WERE, then I would have the Tools and the Communication Skills to make it last at least a year!

but yeah these normie women are like ROBOTS. date a guy, fook him, fall in “luv”, get some abortions, fall out of luv, dump him, and IMMEDIATELY start the whole process again with a new guy. it sounds both EXHAUSTING and DISGUSTING. how can you do that? how can people be so interchangeable to you? how can this “closeness” be so casual and meaningless????!!?!?! its NIHILISTIC AND SOCIOPATHIC!!!! and exhausting and disgusting hahaha and grotesque and horrifying, very blackpill.

but maybe IM the fooked up one because i take this shit too SERIOUSLY!!!!! and when i get heartbroken it takes TWO YEARS to get over them! whereas with NORMIES it takes 2 months before they are fooking other degens!

hehehehe i luv muh waifus literally TWELVE TIMES more than normie degen women luv their men!!!!!

but yeah it makes me think that normie degens incl half of women just dont Luv People the same way I do. or at least at much less of an intensity. And when the difference in Degree is Twelvefold, it may as well be a difference in Kind!!!! a different kind of luv!!!!!!!!

and how do you have a real sustainable LTR when you luv them TWELVE TIMES more than they luv you??!?!?!

that gives them absolute power over you and spells IMMINENT DOOM for the rel. period. they WILL leave you and you WILL be devastated for the next 2 years. what a terrible way to LIVE hahahaha.

basically i need to find another WEIRDO whos luv meter is turned way up to 12 in order to have a lasting thing where i dont get dumped because a huge interest mismatch!!!!

heh all this is not productive writing at all. it is pretty much a nonstop circle of Negative Thoughts. and i need to Rip Out negative thoughts and replace them with positive thoughts, by any means necessary.

even at the expense of Truth!

like how i should replace all thoughts of That Woman with This Other Woman I know who is very very nice and wholesome and is getting married soon. just cut and paste. i should also cut and paste with some sort of positive replacement to the negative thoughts that FILL this blog.

powerwalking is good.

well, not ALL of this post is bad!

WHEN I AM MAKING SERMONIZING STATEMENTS LIKE THIS, those are usually pretty good. even the righteous anger ones. there is nothing inherently negative about righteous anger!

despair, however, yes. that is INHERENTLY BAD.

righteous anger good. despair bad.

so, when i am going into despair or other negative realm, then switch it with something positive: thinking of this wholesome woman, statements of righteous anger, powerwalking, or something productive like Job Searching. cranking out the Apps. getting closer to 500-600. how about 550 hahahahahaha.

job apps themselves cause both righteous anger (good) and despair (bad.) i guess the solution there is, once again, maximize the good and minimize the bad.

turn the brain from a negative thought machine, to a negative thought killing machine!!!!!

so here is a remaster of ulvers classic nattens madrigal. i dont usually like remasters and i dont have anything against the intentionally raw production of the original, which is really not that bad………BUT my concern is literally for hearing and ear health. you could literally damage your hearing with this album, even though it is actually very clear in terms of being able to comprehend and ingest the music. and is quite listenable!

but that high end is just so maxed out that it hurts the ear. i feel this 2014 remaster might be a bit more forgiving while jsut as listenable.

its also got demo versions of some of the tracks which is great. the demos sound great EXCEPT they dont have any vocals, and garm was truly a gifted BM singer.

it just sucks thinking that all of your life goals:  getting a good waifu, having children, and having a job to support that family that doesnt drive you to self-destructive madness, that all these goals are out of your reach. the best you can hope for is a 12 dollar an hour deadend job and then you get your outside-of-work satisfaction by smoking MJ, powerwalking, listening to podcasts and music, and dnating to 1488 causes. which are not bad things, well probably the MJ is, but you just cant stop thinking about the nice waifu and the family you want to have, but youre just too old and fooked up to be able to attain that.

ok stop those are despairing thoughts, lets replace them with righteous anger or job seraching or powerwalking or other positive thoughts or actions.

well i just came back from a 4.2 miles powewalk. listened to natt’s alcoholocaust ep 1 which wasnt as good as i expected. its just a mess and i cant even understand the bantz. i mean these are all good guys but still.

garm was 20 years old when they did nattens madrigal damn. now did he actually write the guitar riffs and such? i mean that is pretty important to me hahahaha. or was it that guy haavard who went on to do nothing special afterwards? i am sure garm knows how to handle a guitar, its really not hard, the important thing is having some sense of songwriting skill, which i never really had, and which i am sure he does.

ok i am gonna apply to this health system job, and while doing so, update my cover letter, which will add about 15 minutes or 10 to the apply time, but i have to measure this WORK somehow. because it is important, measureable, billable, measureable, timeable work that I am totally entitled to COUNT.

un fooking believeable. a super huge application, already at 45 minutes, longest ever, doing a phaggy ass personality test and intelligence test, when the internet goes out in the middle of the test. i am actually happy to do intelligence tests to prove that i am intelligent, and if it gives me like a 1 in 10 chance of getting an interview (as opposed to the usual 1 in 25 chance)….but god damn this is frustrating.

had to reboot compt to get internet connected again. i blame windows 10. 77 minutes total. a new record!

ok. assuming 15% of the job application time could be added to calculated how much time it takes to FIND the jobs (ie, going through lists, reading postings, and decided yes i should apply, vs, no way, dont even waste your time), in other words, about 2 minutes for every 13 minute application, ie 15 minutes total; and 1.5 hours spent on each interview (prob a little low tbh; we are including travel time, interview time, and im not sure about prep/study time), for 18.5 interviews, and 418 applications, we are up to  132 hours total for the entire job search. really a little LOW tbh fam. on $1716 worth of time at $13 an hor, although more realistically my price should be more like 12 an hour.

sorry i meant 419 jobs so far. please dont fire me.

so i was listening to the am grey podcast on feminism, and adams waifu said she was disturbed seeing a man and a woman holding hands where the womans hand was on top, and they used that as a powerful symbol that men are passive and not leading anymore.

i thought DAMN, the women I’ve been associated with would just DUMP ME before even GETTING to that point!!!!!

they wouldnt stick around long enough to LET that happen! they would have ALREADY dumped me for being a wimpy passive spineless doormat!

so why are these women not just walking out on these men? wouldn’t they get disgusted the first time they put their hand on top, and say, im done with you, you weak wimp?

that was what i was asking. i have been dumped for MUCH LESS. why are these women staying with these phaggots in the first place?

i cant even remember how i held hands with women, its been like 11 years since i held hands with a woman hahahaha.

saw a profile picture on soundcloud of somebody who photoshopped dat boi into the famous vietnam photo of the running people being napalmed and the little naked girl. dat boi had replaced the naked girl.

ok finally found it

2016-09-16_20h39_22

YOURE WELCOME hahahahaha

updated Standard Cover Letter with Sentence explaining Employment Gap. ok there. not much more I can do about that. But I think its a small, maybe larger than small, improvement on something that was already damn good and should be more than enough to get me a 13 an hour job.

ok i swear i wont go lower than 12 an hour hahahaha.  so i guess i am at 12-13 now depending on my mood hahahaha.

good thing SHE is making like 16 an hour!

but i dont know that!

but there’s a 75% chance she is!

ok so what does it MATTER then?

because like i said 100000000000000000 times, i dont like her BEATING me at the game of life!

why not?

because i hate her proving she is BETTER than me.  because it adds INSULT TO INJURY.

why?

because she injured me, now she is insulting me.

why?

see now we are getting into the circular part.

yeah i know THEORETICALLY it doesnt matter.

but IN THE REAL WORLD, it ABSOLUTELY DOES MATTER how much money people make, and how women view men who make less money than they do. they view them as totally worthless and inferior.

i dont view people in those terms. but im not a woman. im not PROGRAMMED to care about status in that way!

i mean as a male i do care about ranking and hierarchy………but not in that same visceral sexual or loving way. i know what peoples status is In The Real World, but I know it has no real bearing on their worth as a person.

but it has VERY REAL BEARING on their worth in the MATING MARKET!!!!!!!!1

and the mating market is VERY important to me because one of my MAIN LIFE GOALS is to find  a good wife and have CHILDREN!!!!!!!!

so thats WHY all this shit MATTERS so much!!!!!!!

i am apparently an abuser because i notice slutty behavior and call sluts sluts. thats what abusers do. nonabusers dont have the word slut in their vocabulary hahahaha.

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STEFAN MOLYNEUX IS DRIVING THIS BUS

june 15

had a dream with the PREVIOUS woman, woman 2012. where i was making out with her and getting ready to STICK IT IN, and she was like oh yeah stick it inme hahahaha she was very ready and willing. now she was not a slutty or secsual gurl at all, almost asexual. but i liked that she could be horny for me hehe. of course in real life she had no such interest in me. she was always nice to me and even hung out with me on occasion but we never became super close friends. i was always way more interested than she was but she was too nice and inexperienced to say say yeah i just dont want to hang out as much as you do.

well eventually she figured it out and was mature and courageous enough to say something and i said yep yeah you figured me out, i like u, aw shucks. and that was the end of that. but i appreciated that she was open and communicative and mature about it, so there was no real hard feelings there.

i would MUCH rather have a secsy dream with HER than ANY sort of dream with THAT WOMAN! hahaha.

aw sheeeeit. meeting with stupid tech recruiter, my least favorite kind of people, in 2 days. I am doing it just to keep practicing interviews, and i will be sure to tell him NO CALL CENTERS. TELL HIM NO CALL CENTERS.

and then he’ll say aw shucks thats too bad, cuz all i have are call centers, as far as the eye can see.

” Not only will this person take the role of a BA, but also a System Analyst where they are creating and taking requirements, asking questions, deep diving into each requirement to understand the landscape & suggest alternatives. This is NOT a role for someone who is not comfortable working on their own. This is a non-hand holding role!!  ”

hahahahahahahahahaha

DEEP DIVING. understand the landscape. NON HAND HOLDING ROLE hahahahaha.

figure it out on your own, moron, or youre fired.

is the average american even smart and clever enough to do this? dont most people do shitty in school? how can they think on their feet where basically everything is a tough trick question? how can average proles do this? this is challenging even for average white people!

but it was fun making out with woman 2012 in the dream. she was receptive to me there, but not in the way that suggests she’s that way with tons of men.

oh dear it looks like the latest fatherland is gonna bitch about me dnating one fecking quarter hahahaha. yeah well wait till they see that I upgraded it to 2 fecking quarters. EVERY MONTH.

whatsamatter normie, your too good for neet money hahahahaha.

the host jim does like to BITCH a lot hahahaha but he’s still a good guy. I know he means well. hey you almost were a neet at one time too, GUY.  this fookin guy. go work in a call center for your family hahahaha. see if you can still do your white dadcast then. see if your wife wont abandon you because youre a nervous wreck hahaha. then you can become a neet like your brother.

got a call from a black woman at the nursing home where i applied for HR assistant. talk to them TOMORROW heh.

human resources assistant at the nursing home. where old white people go to die under the watch of NAM’s hahahaha.

well black women luv me in general. they might want to hire me as their pet white boy. and then dump shit on me hahaha.

did i mention this indian tech recruiter just called me as well. i have gotten 3 unsolicited calls today. i think it is because i recently updated my res and was active on both careerbuilder and monster.

heh. just scheduled an Interview for tomorrow and i dont even care. not even nervous.

i sent them the packet i think.

and a 4th unsolicited call from a gd tech recruiter hahahaha. fookin assholes.

fook tech, fook anything computer related, the end.  basically, if you want to talk to a tech person on the phone, you will be guaranteed that they dont know what theyre doing. nobody knows what theyre doing because the whole field is a clusterfook. the only people that do know what they are doing are like startup founders, maybe.

you dont need to train people when you can just hire good bullshitters!

these fooking RECRUITERS! its gotta be that careerbuilder and or monster. so weird i get these indian guys calling ME to try to sell me into a tech call center job hahahaha.

how are these people Finding Talent? why can’t BIG COMPANIES like XEROX do their own Talent Recruitment? They get some indian working for SilverXis Tech Recruiting to find people as quickly as possible to fill the Xerox call center. IT just confuses the HELL out of me.

i guarantee you these recruiters aren’t finding better people than the companies do.

SO WHY DO THE COMPANIES KEEP USING THEM?

maybe they DO find better people.

i can’t believe its because the recruiters can afford to buy access to Careerbuilder’s Secret Leads. If Bumfook Tech Recruiters of cleveland can afford access to Careerbuilder, then so can xerox. so can bla bla Expanding Growing Insurance Company. It just all sounds Fishy As Fook to me. there is SOMETHING I dont know, and I am too low to EVER know.

stupid b on viceland “states of undress” calling these russians HOMOPHOBES. they’re not AFRAID of gays, they probably dont even HATE gays, so much as  they just dont want to CELEBRATE gayness 24/7, and if you dont want to do that, then youre a homophobe. or you dont want your kids teachers to be Gay Activists.

of course you should be homeschooling your kids!

how degenerate IS the average gay? I met a few gays that weren’t that degenerate. but a lot of gays ARE degenerate or just straight up crazy. bipolar and shit. worse than WOMEN. i dont want to be encouraging these people. heh i want to ENCOURAGE them to keep it in the closet.

or how about be gay, just don’t be (overly) degenerate about it. Get married to your first secs partner and stay monogamous for life. dont rack up thousands of ay secs partners. strive for a LOW NUMBER.

POST ON DF

Oh wow, crush on a friend, that can be rough. I had a similar situation recently and it did not end well! I eventually had to tell the person because…well, it’s complicated of course haha. I was giving pretty obvious signals and they were giving kind of obvious signals back that they were not interested in me in that way, and they just wanted me to forget about it. Of course I could not forget about it and I kept pushing them to talk to me about it, so we could have at least one big conversation about it, each of us say what we want to say, and try to move past it. I felt a great desire to talk, however she did not want to talk at all, and the friendship/relationship ended right there, with her refusing to talk to me whatsoever. I was pushy and awkward and weird, but I still feel resentful for her not talking to me. I never understood how painful the silent treatment was until I experienced this!

So to try to apply that amusing anecdote to your situation, haha. My first question is, are you showing your friend any kind of signals? For me, when I get feelings for somebody, it’s impossible to hide it. So do you think your friend knows about your feelings?

If they do, are they willing to talk about it? It will probably be a very awkward, nerve-wracking, uncomfortable conversation, but I strongly believe its one of those uncomfortable conversations that shouldn’t be avoided.

Basically I swore to myself that I would never let this happen to me again, and if I ever got feelings for a friend again, and they were acting kinda ambivalently to me, I would “blurt it out” and just tell them directly. They probably already have an idea, but they might be trying to avoid talking about it, because it’s an uncomfortable conversation. For me though, the conversation was absolutely necessary. For them, it wasn’t. Maybe you can think about how necessary such a conversation would be to you. Some people are fine just having nonverbal signals, but me personally, I need the awkward conversation to tell the whole truth with words. Your personal preferences might be different! 🙂

However I think it’s great when two people can talk about their feelings and their relationship like adults without avoiding each other, and just dealing with issues openly and honestly.

I can definitely understand your feelings, all too well!! And I would definitely feel horrible if my crush was not interested in me, but they WERE interested in some other mutual friend, like it sounds like is the case with you. I would personally limit my interaction with both people, cuz just to see or talk to them would be very painful, I would be constantly reminded of how they did not want to be with me.

When I get a crush, it’s usually pretty serious, hahaha. It’s pretty much full-blown true love that leaves me devastated and heartbroken, and I want to save you some of that pain in the future!

So I would think about having a honest conversation with your friend sooner rather than later, and see what they say and how they feel. But please understand I am not a professional.

Good luck and feel free to share more information or stories! 🙂

END.

young gurl has a crush on her male friend. or it could be another gurl, who knows. but crush on a friend, that is my wheelhouse tottally.

june 16

had interview for back office, human resources, payroll job with the nursing home. the nursing home has middling reviews because they dope up the seniors and leave them to die hahaha. i mean nursing homes are sad places period, its inherent, the only people that like the nursing homes are the rich jooish nursing homes.

all i cared about was that the people I talked to were nice, and they WERE. thank god. the black girl at the front desk was nice. everyone was black hahahaha. well there was a white woman administrator and a black woman administrator that i had the interview with. they were both all right. I did ok and it was probably my least autistic interview. and with less than 24 hours notice!

I sent them thank you note already. They seemed to like me. no really hard questions. I am like a politician anyway, I don’t actually answer the stupid questions they are asking anyway hahaha.

anyway I am not so much on the fence here like i am with the damn post office. if the nursing home calls me back, i will take the job for sure. it’s really close to home, like insanely. its a days schedule. no split shifts, no midnights.

i saw some old people who were not in great shape. but i would rather look at suffering dying old people, a memento mori if you will, hahaha, rather than answer calls all day and not know what to do.

i guess it could get problematic when dealing with employee contracts, ie the unionized nurses and such in the nursing home, and me having to udnerstand god damn union contracts. hey not my problem, talk to your steward hahahahahahahaha. its possible I could be in a union too. which is probably good. that means i cant be fired right hahahahaha.

not that I’m a union man by any means, boss! These fookin layabout and commies are gonna put us ALL out of jobs!

You know me boss, I am NOT a union man what so ever!

but yeah i felt pretty good, pretty CONFIDENT, after I got done. that was a GREAT feeling I hadn’t felt in a WHILE. Just straight up Confidence. Is THAT what NORMIES feel ALL THE TIME? its like being on DRUGS!!!!!!!

I wish I could feel that every day, or every other day at least.

http://bbs.dailystormer.com/t/sweet-and-finally-legal-student-gash-for-cash/35376/4

commenter sez quote:

While I agree that these vile instincts are present in man kind (and in this instance namely women).
I still can’t help but cast harsh blame on the group who causes our people to turn towards such degeneracy.
Simply knowing that we are better than this, and knowing how far our people have fallen enrages me.
It’s amazing how people act around me, I’m quite vocal on my positiion of white superiority, when I come across downtrodden whites, or cross paths with white degenerates I know (one way or another) they always seem to straighten up around me, this is because I tell them every time I see them that they are white and that we are expected to hold ourselves to the highest standards.
When they see me they act white.
It is my firm belief that all whites – even our most j00 mind warped ones; know deep down that they are superior and that they are better than the current person they were caused to be.
One only needs to them; and be amazed how quickly whites clean up their act.
We need to get our message out into the world, whites need to hear that they are better than any role this current shit filled world has to offer them.

end quote

on zerohedge article about “soft prostitution” ie college gurls selling their bodies to pay for college. anyway I am totally with this guy, i favorited his comment hahaha. and pasted it here.

not super relavent to the days news (orlando, and now a leftist mp in UK assassinated by a brexit right winger yikes), but ALWAYS relevent to my own interest in da wimmin.

had a dream last night where i was on a long bus that was more like a train. i went to the front of the bus and who was driving it but STEFAN MOLYNEUX. I was like oh wow I actually know who you are (everyone else on the bus was people I knew IRL and probably they have no idea who he is.) And I was like welp you and me are gonna have a talk. because molyneux is just my vending machine for stimulating conversations hahaha and will talk to me about interesting stuff at my beck and call hahaha.

but yeah there is possibly a lot of symbolism here. stefan molyneux is driving the bus of my life hahahaha.

i more or less enjoy stefan and I especially like how he has been gradually moving alt-rightward and i liked the stupid meme that says he wrote “culture of critique”, and I like this picture:

aiMo1Qj

but I am concerned about him being 25-50% jooish hehehehehe. also sometimes he seems like a woman-hater, and he has huge mommy and daddy issues, but I do like some of his call-in “therapy” conversations. BUT I don’t like his defoo bullshit. But I think he is open to change, and some of the changes he’s made recently are promising. and he’s definitely an interesting guy. better to listen to him than watch talmudvision hahaha. wish I could have sat around and watched molyneux with muh female friend. oh we could cuddle together and listen to TRS podcasts and watch millennial woes and have meaningful sacred relationshipsecs with each other……

yesterday i had some woman-hating thoughts, i thought, its RIDICULOUS. women are like EVIL, MOUSTACHE-TWIRLING COMIC BOOK VILLAINS.  Like just pure evil in every way. Then I figured that’s too comical. they are evil in a dark, satanic, horrifying way, kind of similar to da j00s. blaspheming the holy. making the sacred profane and the profane sacred. TOTAL MORAL INVERSION.

like secs to me is a huge deal, its like a religious experience, ive only done it a few times and it has changed my life. it feels very intimate and special to me. but women treat it like NOTHING. like taking a DUMP. just a bodily function, no big deal.

they treat peoples HEARTS, treat PEOPLE, and relationships, like expendable, worthless, replaceable, interchangeable things. callously dump some guy, break his heart, just don’t care, and be FOOKING a new guy within a few days. its sinful and evil to a HORRIFYING degree, I can’t even COMPREHEND it. this is how evil they are.

they are capable of deception, lies, and murder in the highest degree! they murder their babies which grow inside them! they lie to people for years! they can do a 180 on you at any time! past niceness is no indicator that they wont do a total 180 on you and disappear forever, or cheat on you with 600000 guys!

so yeah its like someone who is evil in every way, just pure evil embodied, incapable of good, like satan, that’s how evil EVEN NICE SEEMING women are!!!!!!!

kind of like j00s. da joos are by far my least favorite race. i just think they are evil. they take everything good and holy and pervert it and ruin it. they are not merely annoying, but they represent a moral and spiritual threat. As a moral man, da joos are my ENEMY because their morality is a total inversion, desecration of my morality. the satan comparison is very apt.

and it seems like women are very j00ified in this regard, and thats sad and infuriating and sad. our women are better than this….. but da joo is very good at corrupting our women. making our women evil and disgusting like THEM.

basically women are DEGENERATE, like the J’s. DEGENERATE in the way they have secs, the degenerate fake pseudo “relationships” they have which make a DEGENERATE MOCKERY of human relationships, human dignity. these degenerates have no dignity, they spit in the face of dignity and Goodness, the same way Da Joos want to boil Jesus Christ Alive in a cauldron of Shit and Piss and Jizz. its disgusting and pure evil. you don’t treat people like this. it’s not overt like beating the shit out of somebody, and in a way, beating the shit out of somebody is BETTER. kinder. less evil. the evil these women do is basically Emotional TORTURE. and you have to be a sick j00ish SADIST to TORTURE people!!!!!! like god damn j00 eli roth making “TORTURE PORN” movies.

THE FOOKING RELATIONSHIPS WOMEN HAVE ARE “TORTURE PORN!!!!” 

moreso than these eli roth films, the term torture porn would better describe the sick, twisted relationshits these women have. torturous because its painful and horrifying and nightmarish. porn because it’s a sick degenerate mockery of secs and luv – making the sacred profane and making a mockery of the dignity of human life. 

i guess after being abandoned and used as a cvm dumpster, the women are gonna try to ruin men the same way they feel ruined. there is this mutiilation album called “remains of a lost, dead, cursed, ruined soul” or something hahahaha and that is how I view women. and that is what they want to turn the people they meet into.  lost dead cursed ruined souls

what else. talk to this recruiter tomorrow morning, gotta get up early and go thru traffic. damn.

got an email from “the mutual friend”, ie the person who was friends with both me and That Woman, and That Woman and I used to meet up with this mutual friend and chit chat together. I am still on good terms with the mutual friend, well, emailing them back and forth. I told them the whole sad story and thankfully did not overwhlem them with those long emails, because the mutual friend is touching base with me again. and i have not blubbered any sadguy shit about that woman. I won’t mention that woman again unless the mutual friend asks.

I think That Woman is avoiding the mutual friend as well. I think the mutual friend might have appreciated a long email from That Woman, like I sent long emails to the mutual friend. but good luck getting that woman to TALK TO YOU. The best you’ll get is a damn text saying “hope your doing good lol yes of course well hang out soon <3”

and thats the best your* gonna get! and if you want her to ACTUALLY hang out, then your* being pushy hahahaha.

also I wanted to say, I’ve been listening to moar goatwh0re and IM SORRY all the mean things I said about their singer ben.

I’m SORRY if I said anything bad about their “new” drummer as of “a haunting curse” because he is a very very good drummer. he’s just different than the first drummer, who I grew up with.

that is, I recently brought “a huanting curse” back out and thoroughly enjoyed it. that was the album where I started losing track of the band. But I really shouldn’t have. Its a good album and I enjoy it now more than I did when it came out in 2006/7.

so now the time is right for me to try the 3 albums which came AFTER that!

But I will say about ben: another pet peeve I have is that hes in there TOO MUCH. cramming every beat of every song with damn lyrics.

these eyes bleed as they watch this desecreation of this abominable abortion upon this eve of the sadistic moon whereupon these grave-vermin reflect these perversions towards these smoldering oblivions of this constricted defiling crumbling this decay.

I mean you could write a PROGRAM to write these lyrics, JUST SAYIN hahahaha.

but SOME of the lyrics are good.

And Bens voice is good too. I can’t fault him for being TOO ambitious, can I???!?!?!?!

He is a very commanding singer, so he is ALWAYS singing. writing a 6000000 page BOOK of lyrics for every song. IMHO this is not necessary, and it ultimately distracts from sammy’s guitar. Ben is technically good, but he’s just TOO MUCH. Ben is good but Sammy is better. His stream of catchy, evil riffs is so satisfying that you sometimes just want to say SHUT UP BEN just so you can hear more of sammys riffs hehehehehe. He was dfeinitely influential on my own attempts at songwriting. One of my fav metal guitarists for SURE. an excellent metal songwriter. ANd BLATHERIN BEN just gets in the way of it. I would take Ben aside and give him Constructive Criticism in the form of a feedback sandwich: You’ve got a great voice and a lot of good lyrics, you just need to take a breather once in a while. LESS IS MORE BEN. LESS IS MORE. And stop saying this so much. let sammy sing more and let sammy write more lyrics and let sammy proofread your lyrics and just be quiet and let sammy’s riffs be heard. Don’t you think Sammy  is an Outstanding Riffmaster? Don’t you just want to sit back and admire Sammy’s awesome riffs? so do we ben, so do we.  but we appreciate everything you’ve done. you’re a decent guy and I even had your PARALYSIS album on TAPE. Why don’t you bring back those cookie monster vocals sometimes too? but don’t cram the song with them from beginning to end. try not to sing for more than 70% of the songs duration. not every riff needs vocals on top of it.  LESS IS MORE.

thats what i would say to him.

and on a haunting curse sammys sweet riffs are on full display, but this album was where it became harder for me to fully appreciate them because of ol blathering ben yak yak yaking away.

it is also possible sammy’s awesome riff ratio went down there, but I’d rather not think that.

ok i gotta do a powerwalk here.

anyway all that hateful stuff i was saying about women……that is part of muh cognitive distortions. women arent really THAT bad, and not all women are THAT bad. even the worst women arent AS bad as satanic j00ish monsters hahahaha. which isnt to say women cannot get poisoned by satanic j00ish monsters!

i mean theres not a j00 within 10 miles of here but they still poison us through the televitz and the media and cultcha in general!

cuz its not like young women are watching hours of tv a day. but they are texting away on shitty torture porn pseudo relationshits all day hahahaha.

but yeah not all women are even satanic horrible demons. even she isnt. although what she did a demon would have no problem doing. heck she probably does feel bad about it! well maybe she felt bad about it for a week and then GOT OVER IT hahahaha.

i mean look the mutual friend who sends me nice email. SHE is a woman! and shes very nice, and STILL nice to me! of course she is a 55 year old woman and I am not in LUV with her!

but yeah its always hard to get through the end of a rel, and a broken heart, especially when you are the one whose heart was broken and you didnt want the rel to end AND it ended in a bad way. like that phaggy song says, when a heart breaks it dont break even hahaahhahahaha. meaning her heart didnt break at all.

bitcoin is SOARING TO THE MOON. I don’t have much left, I have been selling it back for ZOGbux hahaha. I sold 60$ of it at once, but I didn’t think it would CONTINUE soaring as high as it has. I thought it would start doing some bearish shit by now.

is it because china is buying up tons of btc right now? i dunno.

should I not be selling? well i have already sold 85% of muh coinz.

ok better go to bed, get up early and talk to the recruiter. at least this is a white guy and not a damn indian hahaha. tell him no call centers. tell him i got a 60% chance at getting a Day Shift, Weekends Off job less than 5 miles from my home. No Call Center. BEAT THAT, PHAGGOT hahahahaha.  although I really have more like a 0.0000000000000000001% chance of getting that job hahaha.  damn shabbos goy slave to da jooz.

MY PERFECT HIGH SKOOL SYSTEM

1221

shit. i accidentally saw the worst thing i have ever seen since perhaps “3 guys 1 hammer”, and i hesitate to even describe it! it was just godawful. would like to erase it from my memory. it was “basically” a “crushing” video but even worse. where a “woman” was using a high heel to gouge out a fluffy little animals eyes and pierce its skull and grinding into its skull with a god damn fooking high heel through its eyes and brain and skull. i think it was a dog like a fluffy little dog. you are not used to seeing the animal in such a position. it looked like its little legs were tied with a weak ribbon and it was helplessly squirming around and thank god i did not have the sound turned on. and the woman was just grinding the heel through its eyes, into its skull, jesus christ. i mean come on.

i didnt even realize what i was watching, it started right out with the heel in the eye, in progress, and how are you supposed to recognize and process that.  after like 10 seconds it sunk it and i was like oh jesus i hope this is fake. how could something so horrible be real. oh dear god cannot be unseen.

i couldnt pull my eyes away, like i had to see the horror. although i think i did not / could not watch the whoel thing. it was like a 1-2 minute webm video.

then i hid that post and shortly after reported it to Mods. meaning THEY are gonna have to LOOK at it! but i think alot of innocent readers of the 8ch thread got mindfooked accidentally watching the same thing.

i mean it COULD be fake. but it didnt look blatantly fake and i am not willing to look at it again!!!!!!!!!

it haunted my mind as i tried to go to sleep.

thankfully i was able to sleep. i had a weird dream but nothing like that horrible video.

HOW did i see such a horrible thing you may ask? i was reading an 8ch.net/pol/ thread that was actually very interesting and good: when you are “dating” someone you think is Red Pilled, but they turn out to be horribly Blue Pilled. you think they’re cool, but they’re not really cool, and you feel disappointed and maybe even somewhat betrayed. hehehehe. had some relevance to me. it was a great thread and worth saving/linking…….except that one god damn post more than ruined the whole thread.  yeah i mean it really takes time to get over seeing something like that!

i think the post the awful poster was trying to make was, stop white knighting and orbiting the 1 woman in this thread, because women are pure evil, see what they can do!!!!!!! its a WOMAN doing this stomach churning, brain boggling evil!

i think that was his point.

which is a valid point, but he was clearly an unhinged true woman-hater broken man mgtow type. because you dont have to SHOW this kind of thing to prove the evil women are capable of. shit this will make you think women are MORE evil than they really are. the guy has to have a screw loose to have a copy of this video on his computer, and to then post the video to 8chan, to make anyone watch it.

he hid it behind a “spoiler alert” question mark so it didnt show up right away. you had to click the spoiler first to get to it.

note to self: read the responses to such posts before clicking on the question mark hahahaha.

i mean i had spent some time on 8chan earlier that day so had already seen a few pcitures of big black dicks, and dead bodies, and decapitated bodies hahahahaha. but i was not prepared for this.

and that is only right and just. i hope NEVER to be prepared for THAT. the PROPER reaction is HORRIFIED. the proper reaction is to have it haunt you at night. if you didnt have that reaction, then youd be a damn PSYCHOPATH.

anyway the guy was massively butthurt that there was a gurl talking in the thread and all the 8ch betas were trying to impress her. and i an understand the butthurt all too well. i dont like women coming into muh safe male spaces, because all the lonely thirsty betas fall all over each other trying to impress the gurl, because your Political / Social / Religious / Philosophical MOvement is 99% Thirsty Beta Virgins.

oh god i gotta stop using that word “thirsty” its gay hahahaha.

but yeah when a gurl enters these Spaces (the word space is gay too), it TOTALLY changes the dynamic. 1 gurl can change the dynamic of 100 men. if those 100 men are all desperate lonely hugless virgins!

it sidetracks the entire discussion and becomes desperate one upsmanship to compete for the woman!

kinda RUINS the INTEGRITY of the discussion.

obviously if all or most of the men had GFs or at least fook buddies, they wouldnt be so sidetracked by one gurl entering the discussion.

its so obvious that we are all SO DESPERATE for a woman that we would fall all over ourselves to appease and impress women who are ideologically, politically, morally OPPOSED to What We Believe. just gimme some leftist marxist communist baby killing SJW special snowflake anti white anti traditional puppy torturing college gurl action!

ok and the dream i had it involved some green gas that blew up in peoples faces and made them incoherent and stupid permanently. even just a little bit of it had a big impact. you breathed just one puff of it and you were a retard 4 lyfe. and kids were acting like this was the cool new drug.

anyway when i was a young nihilist throwing my life away i would sometimes look for edgy shock videos, faces of death type shit, to prove how tough and badass and nihilist i was hahahaha. yep a bad idea because you do become desensitized. but at some point i stopped looking at shit like that, i never got too deep into it thank god, and never watched any Professionally Produced and Staged Animal Torture Videos!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

really watching porno was more damaging to me. cuz i watched porno regularly since i was like 15 or 16!!!!! holy shit! and i didnt realize how it could warp your mind. especially when you never had anything to do with real women.

i mean i can not look at porno for MONTHS now but i fear the damage is already done.

stupid nihilist.

heh. if a gurl can get an abortion then she could be paid to kill a puppy with a high heel into its eyes. good lord. you wonder what that woman is like in evil life. probably cant tell her from any other woman hahahahaha. probably goes oooohhhhh soooo cuuuutteeeeeee when looking at puppies and babies. then kills them for degenerate oil sheikhs for 10 grand a pop hehehehehe.

i mean there ARE people who watch this sort of stuff, prob jerk off to it. i am thankful i am not THAT fooked up!

but yeah that kinda ruined my day! got the woman off my mind tho hahahaha.

4-5 months and nothing from her, well i guess she has forgotten about me hahahaha. i was hoping thanksgiving, xmas, new years might make her nostalgiac, make her RETHINK things hahahaha. but nooooooooo.

when i first met her i thought, well shes a nice gurl, but too much baggage for me to get really involved with.

then later i was like nope not too much baggage at all. very nice gurl. not a slut. some issues but who doesnt have issues. we all do. i have huge issues. i can totally live with this. i luve her.

then it was like how could she do this to me. well because she just has weird rels with men. but what woman doesnt. they are all sluts who let way too many men partake of their most precious resource.

so they say, in order to meet good traditional women, go to where good traditional women are. like church. or meetups of traditional neoreactionary nationalists racial realists hahahahaha. see the latter is all men. a sausage fest. and the few women are either attention whores, or they already have 5 kids. the latter is great. but…. damn. That Woman was not “A Traditionalist” but she was traditional where it counted, mainly she was not a promiscuous whore. and she was not super feminist. and she was kinda anti-gay if you can believe it. she was not in favor of the big gay marriage thing. so these things allowed me to put her on a pedestal as a really Cool Red Pill Traditional Gurl.

but the bad news was that she was just THAT bad at communicating with me.

she could communicate with me about some things, like her first boifrand, but other things, like her second boifrand, and most importantly her rel with ME, she could not communicate worth SHIT about those important things.

i wasnt great either but i tried to put it out there. but got shit on becuase i was so weak and unmasculine.

well i try to be more strong and masculine when i am with women but shit i had a moment ok???!?!?!?!?!

5 scoops of coffee per pot, that seems better.

anyway. yeah just the never knowing. was the whole thing a fantasy? fook that i know she felt close to me from…..say oct 2013 to about nov 2014. after that she was picking up my signals and then she started distancing. couldnt talk about it. could only distance. well i mean i see why, lots of people distance and avoid and are too cowardly to confront issues. i have done this myself. many a time. just not really with such DEVASTATING effects on another person!

thanks to everyone who likes and follows muh blog.  ideally i would do a youtube channel and maybe even google hangouts hahahaha. but then i would expose myself and not be able to be a leader in the reactionary movement hahahaha because my NEUROTICISM is not a great leadership quality in that universe.

heh. muh neuroticism has impacted a lot.

that feel when people can just look at you and tell within 5 seconds that SOMETHING is MAJORLY wrong with you. wait, youre saying youre 30+ years old, a jobless neet, quit your job because you cant handle being rejected by a gurl you never even fooked, have a college degree but you never made more than 15DAH and never moved out of home, had secs with only 1 girl, 2 times, 11 years ago, and have been spendng the last 5 months moping and whining and bitching? WHAT THE FOOK IS WRONG WITH YOU ????!?!?!?!?!?!!??!???!????!?!?!??!

hehehehe well muh poor fam does enable me cuz they dont know what else to do with me!!!

fam doesnt know what to do with me, i dont know what to do with myself, so i take 20 mg of citalopram a day, go to shrink once every 2 or 3 weeks to deal with the artificially prolonged crisis of being Harshly Dumped and trying to get a job. any job at this point.

waaahhhh wahhhh

anyway i was gonna say yeah youre not gonna meet Single Women if you go to meetups of your interests, because your interests are 99% male anyway hahahaha.

also, single women DONT NEED TO ADVERTISE and congregate in groups. they can pick their mates remember? and the ones who dont get married young have a big screw loose! they always think they can do better! and often pick the worst men! so yes actually they can do better, they just dont want to pick anything other than a thuggish deadbeat dark triad badboi, and if they have a history of picking that, uhhhhh they are not gonna stop picking those AFTER 25 hahahaha

hmm ad for a cnc machinist for 60 hours a week, need recent 12 months working experience, they dont want shiftless jobless bums hahahahahah. and 2 years of cnc experience. of course it costs 4500$ to do a cnc training program hahaha.

whats an od/id grinder

inside diameter outside diameter. i think this can tie in to CNC or computer numerical control.

there are a decent amount of “machine shops” in the area but uhhhhh i have no idea and no experience hahaha

i am just going to google maps and looking near muh home in like these industrial / commercial parks, finding the big buildings that have linked names of companies, machine shops, grinding, cnc, aerospace, metal, steel, suppliers, OEM, injection, molding, plastics, pumps, tools, dies, tooling, power, boring, drilling, grinding, hahahaha all this shit i have no idea what it means or wat do. but jobs for grown up working class men over 30. that are definitely not straight customer service or restaurant or retail.

heh wish for high school i had just done a cnc program in one year, an hvac program another year, an electrical program another year, a welding program another year.  shit if all high schools were like that every kid could be making 15DAH at age 18, rather than struggling to make 15DAH after 30+ hahahaha.

maybe have a month for customer service, a month for restaurants, a month for retail, a month for banking, a month for technical support. a month for carpentry, a month for od id grinding hahahah, a month for health care, a month for

basically…..ok.

MUH PERFECT HIGH SCHOOL SYSTEM FOR WHITE HOMELAND

kid has 4 years of high school right. uh they get 3 months off for summer. well you know i would have then work coops or internships during the summer to get experience in a company. these would be arranged by the school and no keed would be left behind hahahaha. no literally the school would place every kid into a summer work program, give the kid a choice of course, give us your top 5 choices from thsi list and well try to accomodate. no interviews, no competition hehehe. cuz EVEN HUGLESS VIRGIN AUTISTS GOTTA WORK FOR A LIVING.

also the kid would make money for his summer work. not some bullshit unpaid internship. the kid would learn the value of work, and the value of money, and not have to do it at fooking MCDONALDS, but doing something semi “skilled” right from the age of 14.

ok how about, each CLASS would be on a JOB/CAREER. take 8 classes every school year. 32 classes in 4 years.

use The 32 to learn, gain experience and knowledge, and make decisions about their future work.

i would say totally immerse them in each module for like 1 month. 1 month per class. and then just like train them like you would for a job. 2 weeks of training and then 2 weeks of on the job, with the same companies who would employ the students during the summers.

is this how they already do it in germany hahahahah with the Dumb Kids?

well I would include Smart Kid careers in there too. doctor lawyer engineer researcher scientist etc.

you could pick The 32 from the list of fastest growing, or probably better would be Most Job Openings. and if the most Job Openings are in McDonalds, then you teach from the point of view of a Store Manager.

  1. electrician
  2. hvacr
  3. welding (is that the same as pipefitting???)
  4. plumbing
  5. cnc machining
  6. mason / stone
  7. wood working
  8. carpentry / construction
  9. automotive
  10. aerospace
  11. medical doctor
  12. nurse
  13. police
  14. fire
  15. lawyer
  16. mechanical engineer
  17. tech support
  18. systems analyst
  19. accountant
  20. restaurant
  21. retail
  22. biotech
  23. machine shop
  24. banking / finance
  25. (this is all off the top of my head super fast) teacher
  26. Software Engineer
  27. Electrical Engineer
  28. restaurant server
  29. call center
  30. customer service rep
  31. sales (these to all work on your peopel skills!)
  32. priest / religious

ok im cut off now hahahaha. note that these should be focused more on ACTUAL JOBS and job titles and Jobs that actually exists, rather than DEGREES which supposedly prepare you for a range of jobs.

NO. I will prepare them for the ACTUAL jobs, one by one.

there will be a number of very customer service oriented jobs so they get experience and knowledge on how to talk to people and build people skills.

that will then probably help them with Dating and Friends and Social and taking care of their life.

well…life skills are very important tho and many families dont teach them. so i would teach:

33. dating

34. communication In Relationships

35. renting a house

36. buying a house

37. personal finance and not going into debt

38. cars

39. health care

40. retirement

41. good physical health

42. good emotional health

just spitballing on some important life skill classes. i think we could tack on an extra year to my Awesome Super High School!

and then the kids could go to college if they wanted………..or they could start making at least 15DAH right out of high school. actually I would MAKE them do that for at LEAST one or two years. two years.

they could go to Cheapest Community College or Online COllege in their spare time if they wanted.

then after 2 years of work minimum they could go to a University for a Job Oriented Degree. STEM of courshe. all non stem departments would be shut down and the marxist phds made to work in call centers, restaurants, and retail hahahahaha.

of course the kids would work with counselors throughout their schooling. and the counselor WOULD get them in a summer work as well as an after skool job. trying to match it up halfway decently with the kids Skills and their personal Preferences. for example everything I was GOOD at, I also HATED. this is why i eventually Gave Up on everything.

oh thank GOD MW is doing his MIlleniyule Hangouts. they have richard spencer on there right now, he is talking quite a bit. he is a pretty big name. these hangouts have been getting some pretty big names. yesterday they had greg johnson and henrik palmgren. day before they had sargon of cukkad hahahaha. i guess we are not supposed to like him because hes dishonest. i am fine with not liking him hahaha. but he is HUGE on youtube. these “celebrity” level types basically do this for their CAREER, and woes is having them on for the very first time. basically meaning the Big Guys have been noticing Woes, AS THEY SHOULD. CANT CLOSE THE WOES. MW is awesome.

i wouldnt blame him if he wanted to take a break rather than doing 7 days in a row!