sheeeeeit. got saor tshirt in mail today complete with handwriting by andy marshall on the mailing label hahahaha. i hope he wouldnt CUCK like winterfylleth did hahahahaha he probably would tho hahahahahahahahaha.
better hope i don’t send antifa to your home because you have pride in your country and your “HERITAGE”, ya NATIONALIST HAHAHAHA. no dont you worry lad, but there are some crazy people out there. good thing i am not crazy in that way.
of course im just being an asshole hehehe. isnt it good enough that the winterfylleth naughton guy takes a vocal stand against cultural marxist, and is anti-refugee, and declares his admiration for pat buchanan? pat buchanan is about as awesome as a normie can get. he would be a great president hahahaha. i cannot POSSIBLY talk shit about pat buchanan. he is one of the greats.
still not as outgoing and extraverted on the job as i would like to be but oh well i am trying. im just not used to a positive working environment hehe. met another educator today who was another one of those true believers, and i mean this in the good way, as in a totally respectable person who is passionate and dedicated to the success of their students. now this person has taught in schools that would Redpill a normal person on race, but this person fought hard so that even poor black and brown students who come from families of murderers and felons and drug addicts, living out of cars, homeless, eventually become college grads and get good careers.
the type of person you wish all teachers were like.
so what is it? bad administrators? bad teachers? not enough good teachers like this?
she also talked about her own children who were doing very very very very very well in life. better at age 18 than i will ever do hehehe. in advanced math and science in high school, going to good universities, doing good stem degrees, good internships, getting 20 job offers before even graduating univ, hang out with good people who dont do drugs, are generally well adjusted hard workers without emotional problems or laziness, and will go on to make a lot of money and get a lot of respect. and the way she was describing it she wasnt BRAGGING….but its impossible to not be VERY proud of your kids when they are this successful.
but they also pay a lot of money to do this very highly regarded, very selective high school program. where all the kids become hugely successful.
and muh manager who i also have a lot of respect for, he has children which he has entrusted to the public school system, which i thought was kind of mediocre. but as it turns out, there is an elite track in this school district, with a STEM high school, where all the kids at that school become successful. of course he is trying to get his kids in there. i looked at the schools website and 95% of the kids seem hwyte hehehehe. NICE. i figured they would be 50% brown because there are tons of indians and arabs in the area who i assume would be VERY interested in having their kids grow up to become successful, rich doctors and engineers. remove wirus on your computer hehehehe.
something like 600 applicants, about 90 kids get in.
SO YOURE SAYING ITS EASIER that getting a 25k a year job with benefits hehehehe.
i can’t blame them for talking about their successful, promising kids. but i feel envious because i can’t compare with that. i used to be promising too, but peaked at age 17-18, then crashed as soon as i went to uni.
the difference is that i did not go to a hardcore STEM high school. i went to a well-regarded private high school, but i did not consider myself ENGAGED at all as teachers would put it. I resented all the homework, i thought school was STUPID, i just wanted to do what i needed to do, so i could play vidya or internet or stupid music or, very regrettably, Party with MJ and alcohol. at the time, i resented the school, thought it was lame. maybe i would have felt the same way at a special STEM high school.
or i would try to romance the qt geeky STEM gurls and get rejected and go crazy like i did anyway hahahaha.
but yeah at the time i didnt even know our school district HAD a school like that. looking at the generally mediocre school district, i wouldnt have thought it. i didnt even know the district HAD this school until a few years ago. shit probably the school didnt even EXIST when i was in high school 6000000000 years ago.
well, wikipedia says yes it did exist. damn. looks like i missed out!
i didnt like STEM though. I never really did. I guess I sorta liked shit like english and history, but i didn’t like the AP versions of those, too much work I thought. All the AP classes. I really didn’t like The Whole AP system. Although doing AP classes def helped me get into a good uni. not that THAT did me any good!
and then i hear stories of poor blacks living in cars, dont have clothes and shoes, taking care of their sister who is a heroin addict, father is in prison, mother is on disability and addicted to pain pills, and then they go to local college, do well, and get a good job.
meanwhile i was set up and nurtured for success, but became a huge failure. which makes me think this stuff is either born in you or its not. and i was just a bad seed.
and these talented tenth black kids, well theyre outliers, and that was born into them too. because if they went according to nurture, theyd be deadbeats and failures like their families. and all it took was one great teacher to jumpstart them to success.
i had a good family! i had decent teachers! i did very in high school despite not liking it and got into a good college. that was my peak. i didnt like college either, and did mediocre, and since then, have been less than mediocre my whole adult life.
would going to a stem high school have saved me?
i think it COULD have…..but thats still far from a sure thing. 50/50 it would have saved me.
what didnt i like about high school? that it gave too much homework and that I didnt know any gurls.
but that gurl part is ON ME! it was up to me to meet those gurls and practice The Art Of Seduction!
i had an added challenge because there weren’t any gurls at the school, but that didnt stop the majority of lads who went there from growing up well adjusted and successful! besides, its proven that Separated the Sexes leads to Better Education, because gurls are too distracting for young lads!
but i was ALL BUTTHURT about it.
also i didnt start showing any serious warning signs till i was in college. well i did have some yellow lights in high school. like i was already drinking and using MJ in high school. but it only became a bigger problem in college.
i had a weird friends group. they occasionally used alcohol or MJ, but they were good people. they weren’t huge douchebags or bullies. i dont necess think i was hanging out with the wrong crowd. maybe it wasnt the BEST crowd, because i wasn’t hanging out with the huge winner DORKS and NERDS who didnt do alcohol or MJ, who later all became successful engineers or accountants or lawyers or businessmen hehehe.
i cant say i was hanging out with the wrong crowd, because i cant crap on these people. they are good people. unfort they have a 50/50 track record for being successful in life. i had like 2 good friends, one became a sad pathetic loser, despite still being a good person, and the other became a decent, well-rounded winner normie, albeit not thru college.
so WHY do i always want to smoke MJ? whats the ROOT of my DESIRE? Its not that i want to do it MODERATELY, i want to do it ALL THE TIME. if i had some, i would be doing it EVERY DAY, not on weekends only like moderate people.
so the big question is, why do i want to get INTOXICATED on MJ EVERY DAY????????
that is the question.
and if im honest, that IS what I want! I KNOW moderation is the better, smarter, wiser choice, and what I SHOULD choose….but i dont want it! I want excess! but WHY?
because i want some sense of escape and relief from being a huge loser in life who had a LOT of potential at 17, but threw it all away to become a huge loser for the next 15+ years hahahahaha.
but i hear these people talking about their 10 year old, 13 year old, 15, 16, 18, 20, 21 year old children, and I can’t help but think, what if I had been one of these children? and then feel envious.
part of the problem was i did think i HAD a problem with MJ or alcohol, and i was very good at HIDING it from muh fam, and I ABSOLUTELY was not going to go to them for help, even though they were MORE than willing. it would take until I was like 25, 26 years old before I even STARTED Seeking Help.
I mean I’m glad I did, but I essentially LOST the years 18-26 and I am very very butthurt about that! those are some really bad years to lose!
the following years have been better….but they havent been a LOT better. all my progress has been VERY slow, with some bigass setbacks in there too (see 2015 and 2016 hehehe.) and in a way the past 3 years have been especially bad. they are getting better now and i’m thankful for that, i guess its still gonna take a few months for that really to sink in.
this one kid goes to YEAR ROUND elementary school. how good of a thing is this? at the time i would have HATED it. i wonder if it would have been good for me though. kept me out of trouble.
but even though my friends did some of the stuff the “bad kids” did, they really werent bad kids tho. the main problem was my horrible, shitty attitude, and believe me, i had that ever since elementary school!!!!!!
shit yeah education is interesting and important. maybe i would have been a good teacher hahahahahaha. too bad i cant teach or explain shit. or help people become winners when i am a huge loser hahahaha.
education is important but i always hated SCHOOL. its ALWAYS been like PULLING TEETH. elementary, high school, AND college. all of it. and grad skool seems the same way.
they have year round elementary but not year round middle or high schools. why not? i would think middle and high school is where it woul be even MORE important, cuz thats when kids really start to get off the tracks.
HMM they STILL have the same amount of school days, like 180. sheeeeeeeeit. I thought they would get way more, and essentially be like 2 grades ahead, which would be AWESOME.
some kids JUST DONT WANT TO LEARN hehehehe. i was one of those kids hahahaha.
but thats kinda WRONG. I did want to learn, but i didnt want stupid hours of homework, and i wanted to learn more about…..shit i dont even know. something different than what i WAS learning. maybe learn about how to seduce women, how to be charismatic, how to negotiate, how to have great people skills, the art of the deal, learning obviously useful workplace skills. that i would have liked. maybe a class on movies. shit i liked movies back then. degenerate shit but maybe i could have learned about less degenerate movies.
like pulp fiction was the big edgy movie back then. i was like oh this has got to be the best movie of all time. i was butthurt because i wasnt allowed to see it.
it actually was a pretty good movie, but ALSO very degenerate, and tarantino needs to go in the oven NOW. that was his best movie and it just wasnt worth his whole shitty career. plus i was too young to ward off the degeneracy in that movie anyway.
shit when i was young, i LOVED DEGENERACY. literally. blood, gore, violence, pornography, vulgarity, marilyn manson, 3edgy5me, i was such a stereotypical teen! anything that was BAD or EVIL , i LIKED!!!!!
I LIKED DEGENERACY inherently! i sought out the degenerate! I loved it! i honestly dont know HOW i became so degenerate by age 16! i had a good family!!!!!!!
again, thoughts of being a BAD SEED.
i was rebelling against muh good family and muh christian upbringing……but did i have to rebel SO GODDAM MUCH?!?!?!?!?! I wish I hadnt! why couldnt I just have rebelled a LITTLE?!?!?!?!?!
there was no reason for me to rebel THAT MUCH!!!!! breaking my poor familys HEART!!!!! i mean i very well could have been POSSESSED.
well i am paying it back now. shit i’ve been a loser longer than i’ve been a winner. well, part of the time i was a winner, i was a degenerate. i guess its only fair that i should suffer being a loser, while i’m also fighting against degeneracy.
but it would be soooo nice to be a nondegenerate winner!
well i am a bigger winner than i have been in 1.5 years at least hehehe. in a way i am a bigger winner than when i was working my previous job, cuz there i was going crazy. soul killing job and a soul killing situation with woman. now i have really a soul-growing job, and no shitty situation with any woman.
and then i criticize myself for not taking advantage ENOUGH of my grateful, soul-feeding job. im not being charismatic enough with the WONDERFUL people.
well i just get there early, leave a little late, and just try to be friendly and pleasant. thats honestly the best i can do.
and it bears repeating for the 60000000000000th time, that if you study Education in Uni or esp Graduate Skool…..its pozzed and marxist as FOOK. it is pure jooish communism. like SOCIOLOGY. which is a big thing that turns me off of studying education.
if you get a room full of education experts, you will not find any 1433 types hehehe. you probably wont even find any damn CENTRISTS.
fooking academics who spell their name with no capital letters, like bell hooks. they are always a phd with strong interests in feminism. even moreso than the average phd!!!!
just found a teacher who is my age, and had a useless degree from a good shool, but immediately got a masters degree in the same useless field within 2 years of the undergrad, and then 8 years after that, completed the phd hehehehe. i could have been a phd for several years by now. that feel when you are that age hahahaha.
well i mean theoretically you could complete a phd by age 25. more like 27 though.
anyway i havent actually met her yet, maybe never will. i just looked her up because she looked young and attractive in her profile pic. welp she’s not THAT young, she’s MY age but she still looks very attractive. in a tiny pic no less. a Hawt Gurl doing a humanities PHD. kind of surprising. looks like she should be in a Sorostitutority instead, hehehehe.
took benedryl at 3pm, try to go to bed at 730 pm. it is 7pm and i am already sleepy.
doing ok on muh dieting hehehe but damn i can get to the 1500 cals SO EASILY hehehehe. doing way worse that i was this time last year. well i lost 35 pounds since then tho. so good for me haha.
beavis and butthead. weve forgotten about them but in the 90s they were YUGE. and degenerate that I was, I thought they were awesome. i wasnt mature enough to understand the joke, the parody mike judge was doing.
also, i argue that MJ basically turns you INTO beavis and butthead. so dont do MJ, because these are the biggest idiot degenerates and its a shame that they are hwyte. damn. and its SAD there is hwyte trash who is actually like this. its sad that i thought it was COOL. its literally the least cool thing ever. its degenerate and disgusting.
of course ive known about jim goad for many years but never really read him or listened to him, but he is a pretty good speaker. i know he did some degenerate shit though. i wouldnt kick him out of muh group though. unless he was married to a nonwhite hahaha. i think he is bisexual hahaha. i wouldnt want to be married to him but he does a good conversation hahaha.
oh shit hes friends with gavin mcinnes, cant like him anymore hahahaha.
i guess cantwell is getting more racial hehehehe. he is not scared to talk about bl4x and jooz, bad news hehehehe. i just came for the weev hehehehe. they are both talkative and play well off each other but if you added more people in there it would be too much. so just the two of them works very well. gets into the JQ around 31 minutes.
i dunno, i think chris might be coming around! i subscribed to him again hahahaha. yeah i know he has a nonwhite gurlfran. but he was open about that. he prob wont marry her hahahaha.