jan 16 2014 thurs 939pm

yep usually i just lay right down after ARBEIT MACHT FREI, and watch some american dad, lights off at 11pm, wake up at 9 am, in at 12p. the routine i am getting used to. like to get in at least 30 minutes early to settle in, make a good impression. big news of the week is they just laid a ton of people off. i prayed to GOD to bless all of those people and to take me instead, I could actually afford to be laid off, i partly WANT to be laid off , to collect bennies and find a less stressful job hehehe. plus i don’t have a wife and kidz to support and i can just freeload at home (no I would not “freeload” per se.) was not just the newest people, but newness was taken into account AND attendance AND performance. of course it is impossible to accurately judge a persons performance if they’ve just been there a few weeks. this is the type of job where everyone starts out HORRIBLE and then slowly gets better. VERY ROUGH Learning curve. I am fortunate that I have taken to it pretty well and muh performance is actually top notch believe it or not, I am in the top 20% at LEAST, thank GOD. if not top 15%.

so, ironically enough, i sort of WANT to get laid off, but because I’m doing so GOOD, I probably WON’T be. until the expected layoff time I mean.

yep. again, if muh previous job were full time, that would have been the perfect job. loved that stuff. miss it.

found another qt gurl there but the stuff is so stressful I can’t even THINK about anything Heterosexual until the weekend starts.

but yeah the good news is I am surviving, each day is at least 1% better, i am way better this week than I was last week.

but yeah the job is so not fun, it actually makes SKOOL look like a GOOD idea. I would go to skool 80 hours a week instead of this. but then I think of how skool is worthless. but not TRADE skool!

there is a late 40s man at the job who got an Associates In IT with a Specialty in Networking, and could not get a better job because everyone wanted “at least a year of related experience.”  IMHO, Networking is a great area to get into, great education choice, however this job does not cover Real Serious Networking and not sure how it would improve his chances of getting a Networking job. Not sure if he has any Cisco Certs though.  I would also guess those would help. of course, they’re not going to tell you in Community College that if you don’t get Cisco Certs, you WON’T GET A JOB in the field. Heh. In MY College, I WOULD tell you that.  my class would basically be a Cert Prep Course.

Just like me getting Microsoft Certs or COMPTIA certs or whatever. iPhone certs.

ANYWAY. And i still can’t get over the number of military people there.  saw a very handsome ~24 year old man in Great Shape with a huge “death before dishonor” marine corps tat on his Bulging Bicep. B-B-B-B-But wouldn’t being a Career Marine be sweeter than THIS? what’s he doing HERE? are all these people being DISCHARGED? or they just don’t want to be DEPLOYED all over the world, and want to stay near home with the FAMILIES I’m guessing. OK valid. reasonable reason. heh. its good to figure things out.

anyway. FAST TRACK. its IMPOSSIBLE to get on the fast track if you’re not YOUNG. you HAVE to be young to get on the FAST TRACK. If you’re not young, it’s just not gonna happen. by definition. so just sit back relax and get on the SLOW track!! Stop WORRYING about the Fast Track!

Take the Slow Track, go to Trade Skool, and when you start yet another Entry Level Job at Age 40, it can finally be a GOOD one!!! You can get a Trade Skool Degree/Diploma/Cert by Age FORTY! Even I could do that! Not like you got a WIFE AND KIDZ stealing your time and money, hehehehe.


so some gurl looks REAL good at 18. remember this motto religiously:


A gurl in the PRIME OF YOUTH will look MARKEDLY less impressive in ten years. she will have lost ALL her power.

TEN SHORT YEARS. that’s all it takes.

Ok, you can go to College/Grad Skool as long as you PROMISE to SCHMOOZE with the profs. If you’re not SCHMOOZING, you shouldn’t BE there. And by schmooze, I mean getting Good Written Recommendations, Friendly, Relaxed Conversations, Dinners, and SOLID JOB LEADS being the best of all. SPECIFIC. NOT VAGUE.

The prof might be super nice but not know of a SINGLE job opening, for example. Well, in this case, get them to write you a SUPER NICE reference!

And if you are too scared and shy to have these kinds of convos with the profs, get the hell out before you waste any more money. and get a crappy job where you can PRACTICE talking to all sorts of people all day and Develop your Social and Communication Skills. Then you can go back to skool and use those new skillz on your profs.

that is the one good thing about muh new stressful job, is its developing that skill.  heheh I talk to MANAGERS all day. and then I talk to the Diverse People at my workplace.

Anyhow. SO. Bachelors of Computer Science is a GOOD degree, while Associates of Networking is a BAD degree? huh? What about a Bachelors of Networking? would THAT be enough to get you a Sweet Entry Level Networking Job? (I’m talking Routers and Ethernet and Protocols and Layers and Packets and all that, not LinkedIn and Twitter and Facebook and Schmoozing and Socializing and Talking, although THAT is hella important too.)

Is an Associates version of a Good Bachelors Degree just as Useless as a Useless Bachelors Degree? I dunno. More Later.


janu 8 2014 quick post

jan 8 2014 11.19pm

real quick again. no more than 11 mins. got thru wednes of “hell week”, or hell weeks, or hell 3 months. THANK GOD I made it thru each day fairly unscathed. great character building, but god damn this is hard as hell. i know i can handle it, which is huge, but still large amounts of nervousness. still very nervous to take that first call of the day. because there’s so much i still don’t know, and I gotta pretend i know it. THANK GOD made it thru 3 days without breaking down. today had about 14 calls, on phone a total of 7.5 hours. JEEZ. Yeah I CAN prob stick it out 3 more months, and then layoff, then after layoff its a lot easier (i think)….but DEF do not want to be there in jan 2015, REALLY hope I can find a better job, by that I mean chiller and less stressful. I would take a SIGNIF pay cut to go to less stress. Miss muh old job. was PERFECT. the most stressful day there is way less stressful than the least stressful day here, hehehehe.

but couldn’t LIVE OFF that job, can sort of live off this one. but yeah. i would take a SIGNIF pay cut. almost not worth the money in other words. my coworkers are great but the environment is way more than i bargained for. it is less of an IT job than a talking/service job, in other words. don’t want to say much more while I am still in theri employ.

worth it for the skill building and i want to write all that stuff down on the res before I forget it;

ALSO want to record myself talking on an mp3 using my newly discovered confident BS’ing voice, because this confidence WILL STRONGLY improve my interview for ANY and EVERY job, but I think if I don’t use it or have a record of it, it WILL atrophy, I WILL forget it, and I don’t want to forget that. Now I could actually show the confidence to pass an interview for a GOOD job. maybe.

but would be 90000000z times better of an interviewee than 2 months ago. so RECORD SELF TALKING.

ummmm4 mins. will be able to say much more when I am out of the job.

if it is NOT chill after coming back from the layoff, then all the more reason to get out of there ASAP.

but yeah I would gladly take a 15% pay cut for a 50% cut in stress, hehehehe, i’ll say it again.

but the decent-paying, low-stress jobs are the ones everybody wants and are so hard to get, so you go to f4ggige and get internsh1ts, hehehe. and masterz degrees and phdz.

was thinking about warehouse work, inventory, just loading and unloaded; hilos; thinking about night time security guard now that would be sweet heheh.

or a tech job setting up computers all day, entry level, just with less f00king phones. i actually got a great rating on muh performances, WAY better than average for newbie, they thought I had experience with this type of stuff. nope, I would get under 5 quick, fast, easy phone calls a day at most, all under 1 minute.

would love to get back with my old employer but they have NO FT jobs, only PT jobs. this is the devil’s work. I predict in 5 years my stressful job will have all part timers doing this job. the only reason people are putting up with this and not walking out IN DROVES is because of the decent money, and tons of hours, and Overtime. if it were part time, half the people would quit. guarantee.

lord knows the thought has crossed my mind! 3 days is enough character building for me. i appreciate it for what it is and the lessons it has tought me in theis short time. but my god. my GOD. just too much, even if I CAN 80% fake my way through it.  the g0d dam PHONES. yeah its DOES get better once you get more familiar with the 9000000 different issues I guess.

as opposed to the less than 5 issues i would get short, infrequent phone calls about before. that was great. or the same annoying repetitive question 100 times a day? PERFECT. don’t know what you got till its gone hahaha.

i would LOVE a FT job doing what I did before, but it just doesn’t EXIST. well, it KINDA does, but those few people are gonna stay in that job till they retire, and I can’t blame them.

got the rest of my overtime cancelled this week and I am HAPPY about it. most people are upset because it means a lot of money gone for this week, as OT is paid at time and a half, but now I’m saying, THANK GOD, I will give up time and a half for an 8 hour shift instead of a 10 hour shift, 2 extra hours of sleep, my GOD, thank GOD.

heh that’s why i’m kinda happy now and HAD to write.

but yeah. got to take a LONG powerwalk on saturday, record a LONG talk file into my recorder, and SAVE that on muh cloud forever just to listen to when I am job searching, or need the talking skills after this job. Talking skills are SO POWERFUL but I wish it had been turned up to 5 or less, rather than going from 0 to 11 overnight.

cannot take much more than 5!

and i think you could still maintain decent talking skills at 5!!!

well this will def make me more PROACTIVE in seeking jobs during off time, pursuing them agressively, CALLING the companies, TALKING to the managers, GETTING the interview, and ACEING the interviews, and GETTING a new job ASAP.

ANd of course I would give a generous parting gift to the people involved with getting my job, very nice sweet decent people that I would consider friends as it was my friendliness with them beforehand that got me the job, and I certainly would lot want to “leave them behind” after I leave, still hang out and stuff. would like to get them jobs and repay the favor!!!

but yeah gotta escape. do NOT like this much stress. heh probably hitting the GYM HARDCORE, EVERY DAY would help relieve.


jan 3 2014 10:22 pm

well muh FRIENDS I yi yi. I HAVE to type here. this is a gift from GOD. GOD has been giving a lot of gifts, and a LOT of tests lately. How will I get through these tests? Easy. By the GRACE of GOD.

Yep, I am becoming a Born Again Bible Thumping Religious FANATIC the past two days, yes it’s job related.

so now we are actually doing the jobs we were trained for, problem is, it really is kinda hard to train for this job. or you would need a full MONTH of training, not a full WEEK, and a full week of training is more than 99% of jobs give.

GOD I don’t want to give too much about the job away to the public, since I value my privacy and anonymity AND I don’t want to get FIRED for blogging about the job.

But fight or flight, stress, fear, and anxiety are really pushing me to the limit right now. I gave profuse thanks to GOD that I did not break down and cry like a little girl right in front of my colleagues and the people I was servicing.

It involves a lot of talking to customers/clients on the phone; about computer and other technical problems experienced by employees of a large company. they have computer or tech problems, software, internet, web apps, many company specific proprietary software and apps that nonemployees have no need to see or ever know about.

problem is, I feel like a huge FRAUD and PHONY because the people calling me about their tech problems KNOW MORE about these programs than I do, and they’re calling ME for help!!!!!

I had the thought cross my mind several times today, the second day of Actual Work Work doing the Job Job, ie TALKING to PEOPLE about PROBLEMS, I thought, good lord, I CAN’T HANDLE THIS, I CAN’T DO THIS, I’m in WAY over my head, I can’t stay calm and think straight, I can’t keep a cool head, I can’t even type simple words in, I can’t READ and COMPREHEND simple words from the articles I need to use to assist me in helping the people.

they don’t expect you to KNOW everything, but to be able to SEARCH for help articles, and then READ and USE those help articles to help the people. And reading simple words WHILE talking to a person on the phone and then comprehending and following the article is rough. I suddenly lose 100 IQ points and need 2 word sentences like I am 5. ALL because of the f00king NERVES. Damn.

If I could just be CALM and NOT FREAK OUT, it wouldn’t MATTER if I didn’t KNOW how to fix their thing….which is just about everything right now.

I was nervous during training, but that was because it was a new job and I wanted to make a decent impression during training, which I did thank GOD.

But THIS is a WHOLE diff story. this is like the hazing, rite of initiation, swim or sink, throw you to the wolves, tested by GOD, fight or flight or freeze (hehehe), breaking in period. the part where the weak ones quit!

That was why I loved my old job, because there was never anything like that. it was 9000000x less stressful, and i do not handle stress well. however it HAS been a good 7 almost 8 years since I last “RAGEQUIT” a job. great word but the way. but it would be more like a panic attack, fearquit, cry like a little baby quit.

We do get a lot of support from the people around us and without them GOD only knows. they have SAVED me on almost every case/person/problem I get. I thank GOD for them and their help.

and I am quickly getting along with them, thank GOD. I just don’t want to fall apart on the phone and become known as The Guy Who PANICS and always needs EXTRA HELP. Because we will, in THREE DAYS, after this weekend, which I just got started on THANK GOD, but MONDAY the SH1T hits the fan and I am just not READY for it!

Now it’s OK not to be ready ready for it, not to know the answer to everything, to not be able to fix everything, but you have to show a confident face and voice to the people or else they will “eat you alive.”  be confident and charismatic and act like you are the f00king BOSS, show no weakness, be an alpha male in control of the situation, even when you are FURTHEST from that, when you are Actually Incompetent.

The good news is that EVERYONE is shaky and nervous and weak when they first start out, I just fear that I am 9000000x worse than THAT!

But the other good news is that I have been getting along with and talking to the people there, my co-workers, better than anyone ever expected. I just pray and pray and pray and pray and pray and pray and pray that I make it through this trial period and not RAGEQUIT.

Talk about a sh1tty thing, and I’ve done two “Ragequits” in my life, one was that job 7 years ago, and another was I Ragequit COLLEGE  over TEN years ago now, and THAT was the bigger one, still regret it, has still affected me 10+ years later. Yes I did get back in and finish up muh USELESS DEGREE with Crappy Extracurriculars, INternships, and Experience, ie not competitive, that is why I’m still a LOSER 10+ years later.

So this new job and new duties and talking to people on phone is just a test, it’s GOD testing me and THIS IS HOW He is MAKING me Strong, MAKING me confident, MAKING me charismatic, MAKING me handle stressful situations, MAKING me learn how to be cool under pressure. By applying that pressure like a MADMAN, hehehe.

to be continued…..


wed dec 18 2013 2pm

writing right in wordpress. first blogging since started new job. gotta leave bretty soon. will get 10 precious minutes of blogging. used to have a real slow chillaxed job where I could go to google drive and blog without getting fired. now drive is blocked. course I am PLANNING on being on edge for at LEAST THREE MONTHS until I know the lay of the land. the ins and outs. just the ADJUSTMENT is stressful. going into muh third day here.

first day I say no less than Twenty-Five Hail Marys before going in. on the drive over, in the car, etc. First day went bretty good. had introductions. i know you hate intros too, but I did a decent one, go and do likewise: I announced straight up that I was Kind Of Shy and that it takes me a Little While to get comfortable with New People, but once you get to know me, you’ll see that I’m really a nice and friendly guy, but if at first I seem a little weird, it is just because I am nervous and shy at a new job, don’t take it personally. I said all that in a non spag pockets way.

Then I gave a polished, WHITEWASHED version of muh history, what job I had before, what I am “going to school” for, ie “computers.” Over and done in 20 seconds and everybody thought I was normal, and maybe just a little shy and nervous, like I had just said. and then they went around the room and forgot about me, hehehe.

Heck there was one or two people in the class of new hires that had a MASTERS DEGREE. Couple people with Bachelors Degrees, lots of people Working on Bachelors Degrees, some useful, some not, heck one lady with a Masters Degree had it in something Useful and Interesting that I usu associate with 60k and up jobs, real solid Middle Middle Class Jobs!!! and here she was at MY job, a Middle Middle Working Class Job at best. Maybe Lower Middle Working Class.


You got Working, Middle, and then Upper? Bourgeois? Elite? Heck you and me will NEVER be in that class, so it is irrelevant. (Actually I think Upper Middle Class would count as “Bourgeois” for my definition: Successful Lawyers, Successful PhD‘s, Medical Dockers, etc.)

But I focus mainly on Working and MIddle Obv. Each of these is divided into Three Thirds: Upper, Middle, and Lower.

Lately I’ve taken to dividing THOSE thirds into thirds just to be Super Ridiculous.

Hence, Lower Middle Working Class, or MIddle Lower Middle CLass, hehehehehehe.

saturday dec 21

well finally had a day off. damn getting my BODY used to this schedule is a big challenge. And it also is a big challenge LEARNING the job because they are making us learn A LOT. A LOT more than I did in muh previous job. orders of magnitude. at least 3 or 4 times more, at least. I thought I was getting paid a LOT, and indeed it is a big increase, but now I think Gee, I should be making at least one more dollar an hour if we’re expected to do all this! It seems very hard and complicated and potentially stressful. I know right away that I do not want to be there more than a year, unless I am getting a decent raise or promotion.

Now it might be difficult to find a chiller job that pays MORE, heck it WILL be difficult to find ANY job that pays more, but here’s the good news:

On the first day I was crapping muh pantz and saying 900000000000000 hail marys. day 2 I was still nervous but not as much. day 3, still nervous, but even better than day 2. by day 5, I felt the best I had all week. Confident and Happy. I still said a few hail marys mind you! but being able to improve on a DAILY BASIS has been very “empowering.” if a huge loser like ME can do it, ANYONE can, so can YOU!

nonetheless I have been using a few tricks to Play It Smart, and I will Share My Secrets Here:

I have been doing a lot of what I’ve said here before. I look for really nice people and just get them talking. Also, remembering people’s names is huge. in a classroom of 30 people we all have name cards and I have memorized 90% of the people’s names in 5 days. I will smile at them and say something like “Hi, Name, How Are You Today?” and 90% of the time, that is enough to get a great response out of them. I will sit there an say mm hmm, mm hmm, yeah, yes, ok, absolutely, sure, mm hmmm, and the other big thing is to stare them right in the eyes, which I have never been good at, but I convinced myself it is the secret to success on a new job, and indeed it has helped tremendously. they won’t suspect you of being a Weirdo if you’re looking them dead in the eyes! even if you are just saying mm hmm over and over again.

best of all, after a few mm hmms you do eventually come up with something to say or a question to ask!

I also brought in a bag of candy on day 3 and began passing it out. say would you like some candy, name, and 99% of the time they will say OH THANK YOU, (your name!) or ask your name if they don’t know it.

we stay bretty busy, so the socializing conversations don’t need to last long.

and you can always talk about THE NEW JOB that is NEW for ALL OF YOU, heck I haven’t mentioned muh personal story at all.

other people will come forward with tons of personal details. I am using a word document to take notes during the training, and I am ALSO TAKING NOTES ON THE PEOPLE: their names, ages, where they’ve worked before, do they have any kids, what’s their education, just anything and everything about them, and about 80% of that is coming from them unprompted, I don’t even have to THINK about it.

I am also getting good info about people just LISTENING TO THE PEOPLE AROUND ME TALK about themselves. take more notes on that. into muh notes it goes.

so def do all that, ESPECIALLY if you have a CLASS of a bunch of new hires, I am thankful I am in that situation, rather than being Just One New Guy. But this is a HUGE office is all I’ll say. I guess being The One New Person wouldn’t be so bad if there were “only” ten people in the office/team/crew. and you could absolutely use these same or similar tactics.

Also wearing muh new non crappy clothes helps too.

It has also made me more productive. like one day I made muh yearly doctor’s appointment, or did errands, and even on muh WELL DESERVED DAY OFF, I got a TON of IMportant Personal Stuff Done: wrote great email to old friend, went SHOPPING for xmas and went to KOHLS to RETURN one thing and buy 2 MORE clothes, a nice sonoma poplin shirt, and a nice pair of sonoma pants, both $20, which I felt was a pretty good deal for the quality of the stuff. KOHLS IS A MAGIC BULLET.

I admit, $20 is a lot for a SHIRT, but when you never buy clothes and really need clothes like moi, it becomes a better ROI!

it was the saturday before xmas and it was bretty packed with people, but I did not stand in the checkout like for more than 10 minutes. I even made polite small talk with the cute 18 yo girl at the register, which is a DIRECT RESULT of me talking to more people at muh new job this week.

It is good to get thrown into a swim or sink situation, BECAUSE that’s actually a misnomer, you will actually probably SWIM. the odds are 90% in your favor that you will swim and not sink, EVEN IF YOU ARE NERVOUS.

and the trainers have anticipated and acknowledged that some of us will be nervous as we start doing the actual job, which does involve a lot of talking to people, unfortunately.

but now i am seeing it is EASIER to talk to people and I am GETTING BETTER AT IT.

I even talked to a CUTE GURL for a minute, hehehe.

So yep. learn everyone’s name, USE everyone’s name, be nice to everyone, say hi how are you, pull their talk string, say mm hmm mm hmm and keep them talking, use Solid Eye Contact, when somebody teaches you something, say “THANKS NAME! I Appreciate It Buddy!” and just be a Real Nice Guy.

AAAANNNNNNDDDDDD I actually Emailed one of my Internet Heroes like I was thinking of doing. I actually feel a little nervous about this because I wrote kinda a long email and not the best email, however hopefully he’ll take it the right way. I was offering to donate money to him as a little gift for him doing so much good work over the years, so I wanted to give him a little Tip for the holidays, something to buy lunch or a drink. I will report back on how this turns out. I also said that in the future I might like to talk to him on the phone, because that WOULD be a great idea, I just don’t want to do it right now. So I said to him, how about in 3 months or so.  Still waiting for a response, told him to take his time, take a month, take 2 months to get back to me, no rush.

so do stuff like all this. think of ways you can be nice to people.


Because they’re not hatefully angry at everything all the time, and can actually accomplish things in life.

1750 words. with a break in the middle!
july 1 monday 2013

[reel fast movie review, skip if desired cuz doesn’t really Fit The Mission of this Blog:
Kanal By Andrzej Wajda. Uhhh 6.5/10. Started off good, got a little slow towards the end, not as gay and boring as you’d think a movie from 1957 would be hahahaha. deals with the warsaw uprising of 1944. I prepped myself by watching the extras FIRST, then the actual movie. extras were good, a 27 minute thing on the making of, this was a 2003 interview with Wajda, his asst director on the film, and a Famous Polish Film Scholar. Second was a 27 minute interview of Wajda talking to some kind of Polish Ambassador in 2004 who was involved with the uprising. to put it in context. The Old Guy’s opinion was that the Warsaw Uprising slowed both the Germans and the Russians and somehow kept the Russian Army from taking ALL of Berlin and not just East Berlin. Not sure how. Kinda confusing. But the bottom line of Recent Polish History is that Poland was taking it up the A55 from BOTH sides, Germany to the West and Russia to the East, and Poland probably got screwed worse than any other country in WW2. Anyway. Warsaw Uprising is the Polish Home Army “militarily” fighting the Germans trying to occupy Warsaw, but “politically” also fighting the Russians, who were right at the doorstep. The vistula River. Russians coulda jumped in and saved the day, saved the Poles from getting murdered by the Germans, but the Russians preferred to just sit there and “bleed the poles to death.” NOT sure if there was still a Russian-German Nonaggression Pact in 1944 like there was earlier in the war.]

kids taking calc 2 or 3 over the summer. sweet baby jesus. I hate them because I envy them, that they can do this without RAGING out. One of the TOP Things I Hate right now is Good Students. I Hate People Who Don’t HATE Everything like I do. I hate Students who can diligently do their 10 hours of Hard Math HW a day during the 1/6 of the year it’s actually NICE outside, because they’re Good Students with a Good Work Ethic, and I Hate them because I Envy Them for their Good Attitude and Work Ethic which I don’t have but I wish I had, so I hate them…well, I don’t really hate THEM, I ENVY them, and I hate that I am not like them.


* Heh. WHAT WOULD IT TAKE for me to Productively, Chillly do Calc 5 and Orgo 6 over the summer…..think about it…..yes a Nice Radiant QT Prime Of Youth 19 Year Old College Gurlfran to Make Out With after doing Stupid Problems for 10 hours a day, to be cute and 19 years old and say Oh Good For You, I knew you could do it, now let’s cuddle as I rub my 19 year old body over you and you exclusively, and next month we can slowly upgrade to the next level of intensity, because I’m a Nice Girl, I only do One Base Per Month, bla bla bla bla bla



I have determined that the best thing I can do regarding my HATE and ANGER towards SKOOL is to Beg For Mercy and Help from a College Counselor/Advisor. Make an appointment, show them my transcripts, say PLEASE can you HALP ME, I am really burning out here, what’s the quickest way for me to get an Upper Working Class 10$ an hour job already, I am sick of school, I need a little DIRECTION at least, can you PLEASE I BEG YOU give me a little direction, O GOD PLEASE HELP ME, I really HATE SKOOL at this point, but I’m SMART I SWEAR, just my lack of focus, work ethic, and my bad attitude and my hate and anger are really making it real HARD for me to use the good brain the lord gave me. Got the Brains, but the Feels get in the way. Got a lot of brains, but got a LOT of Feels too. TOO many feels. Oh Sweet Baby Jesus Hammercy On Me!

And maybe they can “connect the dots”, and say oh you’re real close to this this and this, so think about these 3 options, rather than the 9000000000 “options” out there right now.

*So, Brethren Losers, do yourself a favor and see your own College Counselor. Even if they ARE “Useless”, they can’t possibly be HURTFUL, especially if you’re at Rock Bottom right now as it is!









. born to feel








* another thing that MIGHT help is Learning College Study / “Survival” Skills, like a Programmed Method for Taking Notes and Studying. Because you never really learned these things in high school, because high school was way easier, now college is way harder. well, not like psychology class, but like fooking organic chemisty and biochemistry and calculus and thermodynamics and statics and plastics and mechanics and stuff like that, where some psychotic 4sshole instructor shouldn’t have a job. Maybe take classes like these at the Community College if you can. Since those instructors don’t really Do Research, then Theoretically they need to be able To Teach. Theoretically. Although I can tell you a lot of them don’t know how to teach either. Anyway, there are tons of books on this type of stuff: “becoming a master student”, “how to study in college” by pauk, the Cornell Note Taking Method, the right vs the wrong way to do flashcards, etc.

So find the people who CAN help you (counselors maybe, tutors maybe) and talk to them and beg them for help because you’re at the end of your rope.

When they say maybe you should go to a shrink too, tell em YEAH YEAH, I’m going to a shrink, why don’t YOU go to a shrink, hahahahaha. No, they probably WON’T tell you to go to a shrink, and they DEF won’t tell you to K yourself like 4chan would. It’s their Masters Degree Lower Middle Class JOB to HELP YOU. And besides it’s paid for by the OBSCENELY GENOCIDALLY OVERPRICED TUITION. YOU are their BOSS. THEY are accountable to YOU, who pays their salary. MAKE THEM WORK FOR IT.

I guess don’t be super hostile to them, or super emo. Just gently let them know you’re Not In A Good Place right now, and you really need some Help Plox. And that aint no lie!

(I am trying to pump myself up to make an Appointment with a College Counselor, if you couldn’t tell)

And I would guess that it’s in These People’s Job Descriptions to be NICE. Nicer than some f4gg0t INSTRUCTOR I’m sure! Those Who Can’t DO, TEACH! (Unless they really WANT to Teach, then they may be good teachers I guess.) These Counselors Probably WANT to HELP you! Let them HELP you! Go to them and say, ” I’m kinda pretty much near the end of my rope here, I really need some Guidance. Help Me Determine My Next Step. ”

Anyway. Their Job is to Help You, so Make Them Do Their Job. I really HATED going to the Academic Counselor because I was STUBBORN and I was also SCARED. Don’t make the same mistake I did. I should have probably visited the counselor at least two times per semester. Got as MUCH outside help as I could, rather than as LITTLE.

* Being CONFUSED about where your LIFE is going is a BIG cause of ANGER. Maybe if you get a little HELP with this, you will be LESS ANGRY AND HATEFUL, and you already KNOW that will help you in all aspects of your life. Like LIFTING. or PRAYING. Less Anger/Hate will make you Better and Stronger and Smarter.

* Although if you follow My plan, you start the First Day of College with your Major Declared (Electrical, Mechanical, Computer, Biomedical, Chemical Engineering) and know what classes you’re gonna take and what profs you’re gonna stalk and what internships you’re gonna get, for every semester, and every summer, from day 1. THEN maybe you can get away with visiting the advisor once a semester, instead of once a MONTH, once a month would be ideal for lazy layabouts who don’t know what they’re doing and thus shouldn’t even be Away At College in the FIRST place.

* If you are Privileged Enough to be Away At A Big College, then Visit your Advisor once a month, every month, even if you think you don’t need to.

* Also, visit a Psychological Counselor / Shrink at least once a month, even if you don’t think you need to. Do it ANYWAY, to make sure you aren’t developing any bad habits, like anger or hatred or alcohol or drugs or laziness. It’s their job to keep you on track. To make you better and stronger. Heck if you don’t visit them now, you’ll just end up visiting them LATER, when you REALLY need it, once you’ve REALLY hit rock bottom, and you’re reading r9k and v9k and My Blog, and thinking about Ending It All because you’re a Huge Neet Loser Virgin who still wants to bang College Girls, but has even LESS of a chance now that you’re Creepy and Fat and Old. So Go On Spring Break like I said last post. The Ugliest of the Young Drunken State College girls will be hotter than the Average 35 year old Real World Bar Skanks With Kids. No Contest!

* Heh. Neet semi-wizards like us view Sex in a Very Big Picture Sense: Normalfags get sex. Women get sex. But we Beta, Omega, Wizard Virgins do NOT get Sex, or Cuddling, or Hugging, Or Handholding, Or GFs, or makeouts, or anything like that. So Women are essentially just Normalfags then. I know my Target Audience! I have good enough social skills to have S with a Drunk 5/10 Woman….BUT I HAVE IMPOSSIBLY HIGH STANDARDS, hahahaha. Besides, I HATE skool, careers, and normalfags too much to ever fully BE a normalfag. Normalfags don’t have this much HATE, and it’s ultimately my HATE that keeps me from Succeeding in Skool, Career, Women, and Life.

* So I suppose the goal is….. BECOME A NORMALFAG. A Happy, Healthy, Handholding, Gurlfran-having Normalfag, who is able to Set Skool and Career and Relship Goals and Reach Them without raging out or giving up.