sat jan 27

june 19

oyvey ozzberg. meant to take a benedryl right when i got home but i took a citalopram! which i take 1 of those in the morning for despair. didnt even think  about it. didnt INTEND to take it. i fully intended to take a benedryl, i just opened the blatantly wrong bottle and took blatantly wrng pill. yep. hopefully i can get muh refill in time and not have to go thru withdrawals now. med sick hahahaha. took the benedryl right after. did not get great sleep last night. 5 hours and 45 minutes and up for muh day of WORK(tm) hehehe.

oh well. was moderately productive today and showed i knew how to Analyze and Filter Data in Excel after exporting complicated report data csv’s.

saw a woman in the parking lot who looked almost EXACTLY like one of the few women i Casually Fooled Around With 12 years ago and foolishly got feelings for her. I couldnt see her face, just the back of her head and her general body shape. yet that was enough. maybe if i had seen her face, from closer than 30 feet away, i would have been able to prove it wasnt her.

the point is, there are Doppelgangers in this world, where if you see a person from behind or the side from 30 feet away, look EXACTLY like people you never want to see again. i bet there are people who look EXACTLY like me!!!!

and better i see a woman that looks EXACTLY like THIS woman, than a woman who looks exactly like THAT woman!

anyway. i really wanted to get closer to this woman and see her face because i couldnt BELIEVE how much, from behind and 20 feet away, she looked EXACTLY like this other woman i hadnt seen in 12 years!

for all i know, this other woman is fat or ded!

really wish AH larped on his ideal society in the way i did last post. you can see i am narrowing down to basically a Family Based society. where government is very minimal, and families are their own little AnCap States hahahahaha. companies are run for the benefit of family and the society. no globalization or jooification allowed. im not even sure where the state comes in. i am viewing a state that is prob smaller than what the 3rd reich had. over course, they were literally at war with the world. because the world declared war on them hahaha.

basically, what should we do with 15 year old gurls and boys to make sure they grow up to be decent, productive, contributing members of a healthy society, and not fookups, neets, or criminals?

and how can we structure companies and the economy so its as hwyte as possible, with no exploitation, job security for everybody?

also does AH even talk in detail about the 25 Points in MK? he refers to them but I figured he would have a LONGASS chapter describing EACH of them. nothing yet, and only 200 pages left hehehehe.

and then we need that shit updated for 2017. because how to make a living in 2017 is a lot different than in 1917. also people are a lot more degenerate. AH would have gone Tactical Bowlcut if he saw the shit we have to deal with. no wonder we K ourselves with drugs and alcohol.  and some K themselves with Porn and TV and Vidya.

so yeah. im not even sure what to CALL my ideal state. clan? feudalism? it wouldnt be democratic.

who owns the land? the family who lives and works there. but should it be owned by the oldest son, or split between brothers? that can lead to problems. better than the state owning the land though.

who owns the companies? the employees, where probably The Family has a majority in their own company.

Would a Family Company employ any men who WERENT part of the family?

in other words, were there any families that didnt have companies of their own?

interesting.

jimmy durante kinda looks like mike on breaking bad/ BCS. was he jooish? i dunno. i dont think mike (jonathan banks) is jooish at all. watching movie on tcm with jimmy durante playing the piano and singing and being charming.

https://bbs.dailystormer.com/t/how-would-you-advise-this-young-man-who-labels-himself-forever-alone/114478

oh dear hehe

so they were both stupid. she was stupid and prob shit testing when she asked about other people coming along, and he was weak when he didnt say, no, STUPID, its just you and me.

june 20

its just stupid that women treat secsy men as exciting new toys you quickly lose interest in.

I treated my toys better. I respected the time and money needed to buy them, and the sentiment they represented. Also I rarely got bored of new toys quickly when I was a child. shit i didnt even WANT toys. i wasnt some greedy little materialistic joo. i was happy with the toys i had.

respect your goddamn toys bitches hahahaha.

https://8ch.net/awyattmann/res/1.html#1

wow so the actual a wyatt mann posts on daily stormer as mann vs machine. i knew he did AWM type cartoons but i didnt realize he WAS AWM, or that AWM was a legit living person who legit knows The Truth About The JQ! and posts regularly on DS!

azzmador working with enoch might rehab enochs image a bit

what im saying is, i HOPE it doesnt HURT azzmadors image!

should azzmador cut his long hair? no but it would be nice if he got with the white shirt / khaki pants look. i really like this look and will try to incorporate it in muh daily life. its not gonna get the ladies but i havent gotten ladies in 12 years, hahahahahaha.

it just sucks that the last time you Pulled, you were young and promising enough that you could pull a 7.7, and you havent been able to Pull since, and if you could, you could only pull about a 4.

YOU ARE BUYING
0.0284 ETH
@ $352.28 per ETH
ok i just bought 10 dollars worth of ETHERIUM on the sheer basis that it went up by +2892.15%
SINCE LAST YEAR (%)
while BTC, with its YUGE soar upwards, has only gone up 260% hehehehe.
heh. i guess the only thing left is for me to buy LITECOIN. whcih i had some at one time. like 2 years ago. well before coinbase offered it.

basically im just TOYING around wth it because coinbase gives me the OPTION to buy it with a single click. very convenient. and THOSE joos obviously see a jooish profit to be made from it.

i guess its good women still like audrey hepburn because AH (hahahahaha) was a good example of decent feminine beauty, im sure she was a whore, but she seemed somewhat classy and feminine. only now the modern version of that is zooey deschanel whos an ever bigger whore and has taken at least 500 dicks hehehehe.

i dont really care about ALL women, i just care about THAT woman hahaha. i might have failed as a man but i didnt deserve that level of punishment for my crime.

but she wasnt INTENDING to dish out that punishment. she just did normal passive noncommunication, which is to be expected from women. and the punishment ALL came from my PERCEPTION. if ANYTHING, she INTENDED for me not to be so hurt!

the end hahahaha.

yeah i should have been more forceful and manly. course NOW i wonder about, should I contact her after 2 years and play a super manly role? i dont think I COULD. I think i would have a much better chance at playing manly with some random slut that I dont know and have no History of Heartbreak with.

in other words, i am SO butthurt over her, that I Would Fall To Pieces if I were to see her again. or, at the very LEAST, CERTAINLY not be able to come across as MANLY, let ALONE any manlier than I was BEFORE, when I need to  be MUCH manlier than that.

https://bbs.dailystormer.com/t/generation-z-has-the-potential-to-become-full-blown-nazis/69498

gen z is the future

oh this is an old article that was bumped with a recent comment. well its still good.

june 21

it is good for the health to listen to the horst wessel lied at LEAST 6 times a day. it is a very positive song. listen to the lyrics too. much better than thinking about women, or what a failure you are, or how you dont want to go back to Skool hahaha. because youre DEFECTIVE and even if you got a useful degree, you’d find some way to screw it up. not put in enough intiative or passion or creativity, and make a useful degree useless.

fact is, i dont know anyone with a masters degree who is technically NOT successful. they ALL, even with “shitty” online MBA’s, got middle class jobs paying 40k a year hahahaha.

well…..i sort of know a number of people that have been sucked into the part-time instructor trap, which is one of the worst fates that can befall a masters degree person, and the one that terrifies me the most.

basically, get a masters degree, and end up 50 years old piecing together part time jobs, no health care, no retirement, no raises, no stability, no guarantee of hours, driving around 100 miles a day to 4 diff workplaces, getting no respect from the full timers, never getting a full time position.

there are WAY too many people like this. I have the greatest sympathy for them.

then your masters degree wife leaves you because youre not successful enough, not making enough money, she makes more money than you with HER masters degree, you must be defective and have no AMBITION to just LET this HAPPEN to you so PASSIVELY.

tfw you find a video of a woman that used to work in your department, she has a masters degree like everyone else, but she was younger, about 25-29, and fookin SMOKIN HAWT. in ridiculously good shape, MORE than enough to drive a man CRAZY, and also SMART and CLEVER. no doubt she knows EXACTLY how to wrap men around her finger. so she decides her career isnt ambitious enough with a masters degree and goes to get a PHD from a Good Skool. and you see this beautiful young woman and think, well she’s not a fat white trash mudshark, but she’s just wasting her life in a different way. of course im wasting my life too! in a different way.

what im saying is, instead of being a CLEVER, CONNIVING, AMBITIOUS, SUPER CAREER ORIENTED super ambitious career woman, she could be a nice wife and mother.  but i am absolutely sure she has been on Coch Carousel.

Well now she is probably dating only guys 10+ years older than her who make 150k+ a year. and she’s still gonna bust their balls.

well i am older than her, but maybe not 10 years, and i certainly dont make that kind of money.

too bad she used her above-average woman intelligence to do a super ambitious career and not get married young and have 3 white kids. white woman. VERY attractive.

she was too smart for her own good. probably constantly encouraged on how good college and esp grad skool was for a smart, ambitious woman like her.

the type of person who RESIGNS from a GOOD job, so they can do a Full Time Graduate degree at a Top Skool, and then gets an even BETTER job.  these people DO exist hahahaha.

heh.  reminds me of a funny story. so i briefly hanging out with thsi woman 12 years ago and fell in luv with her like an idiot. she wasnt over her “ex” boifran and went back to him. thing is, he was a total milksop, just seemed totally unexciting, boring, and BETA as fook. i couldnt BELIEVE she was choosing HIM over me. i STILL dont get it.

BUT he was much more successful. he recently graduated our presitigious univ and then immed got a decent JOB on univ staff. the type of job i would K for now, he got at age 22 or something. then the woman got back together with him, and eventually he left the job to start a PHD program in another state in a very, very marxist field. i have no idea how he got into a competitive program, and i have no idea why he left a good job to do this. i was literally twice as charismatic and interesting as him. ME!!!!

and he spent like 2 years with this gurl i was in luv with, banged her 5000000 times, probably got BORED of her BULLSHIT, while she made an EFFORT with him, WANTED to be with him. i still dont know what she saw in him other than he was taller and more succesful than me. but he wasnt Ripped or Charming. I guess she was a nerdy weird gurl too, and hadnt been on the coch carousel long enough to be greedily hypergamous yet. she wasnt a terrible person but boy did I HATE her for a while after she dumped me. I wish I HATED That Woman like that, it would have been easier to get over That Woman.

how about someone who leaves a 50k+ a year job so they can get an MBA at a Top MBA program? theres no way i can put myself in these peoples shoes. i have no idea what it feels like to be so ambitious and successful. but i bet it feels pretty good hahahaha.

but all these programs teach that Globalism Is Good! and that humans are just Resources. and hwytes are the worst most evil most replaceable of those resources and we should replace them with smiling brown people. pajeet and ching chong. emerging markets. need some IMF loanz hehehe.

at muh univ, everyone went to grad skool at SUPER prestigious places, and if you didnt get a phd at harvard, you were a loser. if you only got in to the phd program at kansas state, you were viewed as a huge loser who didnt do good enough. didnt want it bad enough. didnt work hard enough. a slacker. unambitious. dump that loser. hehehe.

people would rather K themselves than get a MBA from an online program.

anyway i totally picked up that mindset, which SUCKS. fact is, you can have a great middle class career with a mba from an online skool. its not gonna be cheap though. its still gonna be a lot of work.

but yeah. people there were VERYYYYYYYYYY snobbish and conscious of STATUS of education and career. what school did you do grad at. what company are you working at. that kind of thing. and i unfortunately picked up way too much of that mindset. still have too much of it. prob never get rid of it entirely.

but still i dont really want to get a masters degree hahahahaha. the whole idea.

but really theres a 50% chance it would be useful!

harold and maude. this could have been a good movie but its degenerate AF. maude is a terrible role model with her hippie jooish nihilism!!!!

and who likes this movie. stupid ass pseudo intellectual masters degree women hahahahahahahaha.  fook it. fook women, fook movies, fook joos. glad i stopped watching degen jooish filth. it just happens to be on tcm right now, the only channel i watch, apart from investigation discovery and hgtv.

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THIS MACHINE K’S J’S

june 17

https://bbs.dailystormer.com/t/what-kind-of-lives-did-actual-barbarians-live/113621

by weev. more clarification on hwyte sharia. thankfully nothing advising breaking your wifes bones. rather clarifies the point that the romans had the right idea and we should be emulating them, while the barbarians, for once are not glorified as european ideal, allowed themselves to be manipulated too much by women, and thus became phaggots and catamites, turning to boys and young men because their wives, though maybe attractive, were uppity bitches who the men had let get out of their own CONTROL.

https://heathenharvest.org/2014/08/26/eternal-flame-of-gehenna/

some finnish black metal is race aware, but alot of them are just pathetic alcoholics hehehehe. probably even the race aware ones drink too much. BUT I should check out the finns for decent black metal that is possibly more racially aware.

http://nwnprod.com/forum/viewtopic.php?t=25659&start=90

im interested mainly because uncle mikko is innit. probably only very briefly and definitely shrouded in shadows. the one sentence he says is something like “you can’t separate black metal from politics which some people find annoying” and i would agree, in that i think black metal should EMBRACE the political, ie the RACIAL.

NOT just get SO DRUNK you have HEART ATTACKS by age 40 and cut yourself and worship satan and have satanic rituals, get drunk, have heart attacks, get so drunk you can’t even talk, and say all humans are shit, finnish christians are just as bad as brown muslims. COME ON.

basically goatmoon is on the good list. the stormheit guy who was sober and talking in the woods was good. basically anyone here who was halfway sober and not looking like a retard.

only clip on youtube, from an antifa group talking about RACISM in finnish BM, and all they say are perfectly reasonable anti-moslem things. aspa says one sentence near the end hehehe with his face shrouded.

so that guy is named stormheit and is of the band stormheit whos 2014 album has a very hookcross looking thing. extremely vetted. thumbs up! he also plays live bass for goatmoon. he has a swedish name, joakim soldehed, so im ASSUMING hes one of the swedish finns. ie ethnic swedes who have lived in finland for 100s of years and i think are generally accepted but there is generally good natured mocking back and forth.

pagan metal with tons of acoustic guitars and mostly cleanish bathory viking vocals. not bad!

epic song from his 2011 album before the 2014 one. seems basically the same hahahaha. clean singing that is not horrible. passionate and european. prob def pro-white. not a degen drunkard. real human drummer. approved!

better than the degenerate satanic drunkards. are they talking about satan or are they talking about EVROPA.

basically i am looking for Alt Right Black Metal. a black metal person who is FULLY on board with daily stormer hahahaha. and therefore understands that being a drunk is degen. writing songs about satan is degen. i think these bands/musicians will come but it will take a few years of alt right sinking in, and that didnt really start until 2015 or so. this is all very young.

heres their 2017 album. a full LP of 34 minutes. great length! real drummer. good production, good melodies, i might have to listen to this fully.

they have played live shows with at least 2 NS flags on display at once, have led the crowd in roman saluting, and the blackgoat guy (kinda degen name) specifically names the J. bigly thumbs up! good enough for me!

he prob drinks too much tho and theres no excuse for that hahaha.

also its CHILDISH to be OBSESSED WITH MUSIC, and i guarantee you many of these people are. Its fine to be a big music fan, but you have to GROW UP at some point and realize that its the ideas and the principles and the morals behind the music which matter more. and if you have those morals, great. i give you my blessing to spend many hours of your valuable time semi-obsessively making good black metal or other music.

when i was young i was as obsessed with music as i am with racial stuff now. i can say now that the racial stuff is a better interest and i am glad i switched over. obviously i still like to listen to music sometimes. ESPECIALLY when it lines up with my racial and moral views.

these guys are friends with goatmoon and this album is getting rave reviews. the drummer for this album plays drums on the 2017 goatmoon album. sounds pretty good. this is all on blackgoats werewolf label. i figure look to the label/distro the guy runs to find bands he likes.

ok 2 new albums in 1 day, thats more than enough to keep my musical world full for like 6 months ahahahahaha

there are more important things in life than music. music should be the MEANS and never the END. and the means should definitely be SERVING that end!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

the end, of course, is the 14 words.

every boy should be paird up with a successful mentor no more than 5, 6, 7 years older than him, who has succeeded in the same world the boy is entering into. then give him a CHECKLIST of steps to accomplish, in order, by a certain date. like lose your V by age 18. secure an engin internship at a good company by age 19. never get fat. never drink too much. never do too much MJ. lift heavy and lift often. have intelligent coversations with your professors. stay away from college gurls. have arranged dates with the gurl you will marry at age 22 or so. basically you hanging out with the young gurl you will marry. she will be a young virgin. there will be parents chaperoning. because she wont be able to control herself, and you wont be able to either.

that would probably be the next step in human evolution. if we could actually CONTROL OUR OWN secsual urges!

but yeah i see jobs at sweet defense companies and its like you dont just waltz in there and get a job there. you have to be a top engin student and get into their highly competitive engin internship programs. where 20 year old engin students compete severely for these. i didnt even KNOW about this shit until i was like 25. i didnt have a chance!

so have a 25 year old who DID get one of those jobs be a mentor to an 18 year old boy!

THIS MACHINE K’S COMMUNISTS.

THIS MACHINE K’S MARXISTS.

THIS MACHINE K’S J’S.

hehehehehehehe

i was under the delusion that all you needed to go was graduate college, and then you would be a middle class success. 30 years ago, this was certainly true.  but now its a huge fookin gamble. i had a decent hand, but i played it poorly and gambled too much on it. lost it all hahahaha.

like a drunk gambler who gets a good hand, but gets a weird flop and then plays it poorly, goes all in when he shouldnt have, and loses to someone who played the flop wisely.

anyway. if i were 18 and had a 25 year old man who had his life all together, making 50 grand a year, slapping me and saying, you HAVE to do this if you want to be a winner like me. do this. do that. dont question it. or you will end up like this pathetic loser, and then show me the pathetic loser. either a pathetic marxist barista with a phd in antiwhite, or, worse, an unemployable neet whos stuck in the past and hasnt been with a woman in 10 years.

army or chair force might have been good for me. it would have either K’d me like private pyle, or it would have been good for me. at this point, i wish i had taken the gamble. havent done anything with muh life anyway.

basically i was too immature to Go Away to college and I shouldntve. period. Some kids do all right, ie become successful at life college phaggots, but i became a loser at life college phaggot.

and women shouldnt go away to college at all. its sad that i need to say it and mansplain it. because it turns them even more into crazy, destructive Hoors.

i needed more guidance and leadership at that crucial age, but i wasnt willing to seek it out. i needed it FORCED on me from above in other words. i was spoiled with softness, in other words. yep.

very true but cant be DWELLING on this. DO something productive, and if you dont know what to do, then do Physical Training. ie powerwalking hahahahah. yeah i am gonna do that shortly. just got back from church which was boring as hell but there were 2 attractive women there. first one was a 26 year old 7/10 who seemed to be married. the other was a 17 year old 8/10 but which went down to about 7.5 just because she was too fat for such a young age, but not dealbreakingly fat. she had very cute face and beautiful hair and nice white skin. she just likes porking out on the ice cream too much methinks. i have never seen these gurls’ mother, just their father, who himself is a potato shaped niceguy. starting to think maybe the mother died. or maybe she divorce raepd him and he only gets the kids on weekends, where he takes them to church on saturday. i would prefer the mother was ded hahahahaha.

everything. story on WEATHER CHANNEL of a Young Newly Single Mother who is instagraming photos of her with her beautiful new baby at all the waterfalls in oregon. the mother was pretty attracive young white woman. she said she was heartbroken at being a NEWLY SINGLE MOTHER when the baby was like 3 MONTHS old.

of course were supposed to think, what kind of DEADBEAT would abandon his wife and brand new child. instead I thought, what kind of CRAZY BITCH would kick her husband out when the child was only 3 months old?

and if she didnt dump him, i guarantee she picked a deadbeat badboy whose leaving was prob no surprise. the baby was white tho.

the best case scenario would be if the husband tragically died. but i think she would have said if that were the case.

and she talks about Processing pain and grief from the father leaving, by taking the baby to beautiful parks and waterfalls and making herself a social media celebrity in the process. of course women everywhere are loving this, while I am sneering and thinking ABSOLUTELY DEGENERATE. where is this kids father. he’s either a deadbeat or youre an evil bitch. or a stupid bitch for choosing a deadbeat. and her you are craving the spotlight.

the future does not look good for the poor child. the mother should be on her hands and knees begging the father to come back.

this is what a woman, even a white woman, will do without strong male control. kick out the father of her child when the child is 3 months old. i just thought white women were better than that because they are white, but they’re not. in women’s case, the fact that they’re women influences their behavior moreso than the fact that theyre white.  in other words, sex is more important than race for women and the way they think and act.

so does that mean that white men have more in common with black men than white women, if sex is more important than race?

i didnt say that though hahaha. race IS more important than sex…..just not for WOMEN hahahaha.

https://bbs.dailystormer.com/t/third-jimpact-homosexuals-within-trs-alt-right/113791/

what the FOOK is this. this suggests that ghoul was “grooming” a 15 year old BOY and also fooked the boy. serious accusations require serious evidence!!!!!

https://bbs.dailystormer.com/t/trs-and-homosexuals-and-the-alt-right/114125

summary of the podcast

https://imgur.com/a/x4uSX

i just dont know. i havent seen any good evidence of ghoul sodomizing any boys. and its not his fault his mother was a lezbo. its not his fault a college tranny degen wanted his D once.

i mean im not in super luv with ghoul but i did buy his shirt hahaha. now i cant wear muh trs shirt any more, cant wear the ghoul shirt any more hahaha.

and so what if millennial woes complained about white sharia to sacco vandal. i wouldnt expect MW to understand this meme anyway. took me a while. and im aware of MW’s Gay Past and i dont think its as extensive as the haters would claim! i really dont think he did standard pool party take it up the ass stuff.

https://bbs.dailystormer.com/t/white-sharia-is-not-radical-enough/114054

so yeah i will wait until i see proof of ghouls stuff; and i still luv MW and think hes a great guy. but it would be nice if he talked to anglin or weev or the stormer affiliated guys. azzmador. he prob wont and this prob wont stop me from liking him. i think he is a great guy and he would have to do something hella bad for me to dump him hahaha.  i give him almost 2 dollars per month!

he just seems very honest. i guess i would maybe ideally like him to give more specific details about his gay past, but i honestly think it wasnt THAT bad. now, doing gay shit NOW and hiding it, would be a diff story. i mean hes kind of a leader now and needs to set an example. character and fitness.

https://bbs.dailystormer.com/t/mysterium-fasces-episode-31-sexual-ethics/114150

podcast on SExual Ethics with the great florian geyer and doc mayhem is also good.

sat jan 6

june 2

start of muh weekend, perfect time for MJ, and yeah. cant get any. but its degen anyway. but so fun. its not as degen or as jooish as p0rn. i just wish i knew someone who could get some! its harder to get than heron hahahaha. its harder to get than a 28k a year JOB hahaha.

heard anecdote about someone who who have to pay 21k a year just for health insurance, so they decided to go back to work.  i couldnt even understand the boomer logic. i thought you struggle your whole life so at age 40 you might be lucky enough to Earn a job that gives you health insurance. by probably taking 5k a year out of your paycheck anyway. one does not simply get a job just to get healthcare. healthcare is a privilege thats almost a luxury for only the highest of achievers. you are lucky to just have a FT job that pays you 28k a year. then you should pay 21k of that to get health care hehehehe.

just treat every young woman you meet like a slut who’s taken 50 dicks……BECAUSE SHE PROBABLY HAS.

what the hell are you even supposed to TALK about with women?  how disgusting, slutty, and childish they are? i guess. give it a shot. so, sucked any good dicks today? get any interesting diseases lately, ya disgusting wh0re?

talk about their careers. hows your career going?

that feeling when your stomach wont stop gurgling very loudly. maybe a mix of being hungry, and a mix of drinking shitloads of coffee which can irritate the stomach of course.

tfw you hate women but cant stop thinking about them. obsession. not just with specific women, but all women in general! yet youve spent less than .0001% of your waking ours with women.

well thats not true. what about the women at jobs. there would be women around for HOURS.

yeah but youre not interacting with them directly for HOURS.

shit i dont even mind taking orders from women. besides all the women i work with are competent and actually smart, and decent people too.

although today i had a good day because ____________.

today i did some good because i had a bit of normie chit chat with colleague where I shared a bit about myself, namely that I am very hesistant to get a Masters degree, but I know it could prob help my career, and I know I’m not a total idiot and would like to make 28k one day; but that I had a hard time at muh old job and had a real hard time trying to get to this job, having to job search furiously for months and get rejected at 30 interviews.

this is not a person that could hurt me with this info, in fact they can probably HELP me. they WANT me to succeed. to win at life. they, god help them, think i am smart and a good writer and communicator and that i can be a winner in life. so i Shared a bit about My Struggles the past couple years. not in a vulgar way of course!

tried to explain how I can recognize good writing and that I consciously try to be a good writer but its not easy.

i also cant say I write a crazy blog, and that 99% of the writing I read is hwyte supremacy stuff. MK and daily stormer hahahaha. i dont read books and stuff like normies. so i lied and said that I regularly read the NYtimes and WaPo to get an idea of how Professional Writers write clearly.

well i USED to regularly read the slimes 10 years ago when I was a joo hahahahaha. Now I only read hister and anglin and shitposters on forums hahahaha.

I mean anglin is honestly a great writer and he doesnt have a masters degree. i dont think. weev is a great writer and he doesnt have a masters degree. not even sure he finished his bachelors degree. i know he WAS doing a bachelors in MATH. which is AWESOME.

oh yeah. i wanted to say greg johnson is a great writer too. but he has a phd. and he is a drama queen hahahahahaha. but he honestly IS a great writer.

this is why it helps to have normie interests. which i dont hahahaha.

well i could just say i read breitbart and takimag and……..city journal. national review.  wall street journal.  yeah i could say that.

well i tried folks. i really tried the best I could at the moment.

I also KINDA figured out how to do some queries on excel sheets. and google sheets. basically a SQL type select * where A=June OR B=Yes. It was very important to get that OR part to work correctly. it is hard to get actual OR functionality with Mere Filters. and, no problem. or, big problem.

with google sheets, you would say =query(NamedRange1, “select * where B=’June’ OR C=’Yes'”,1)

it was the first time that I had to actually do something so “advanced” in excel since I was taking an Intermediate Excel CLASS 7 fooking years ago.  and I never had to USE this skill on a job until now.

ALso I COULD have just used 2 separate filters and just be aware that there were a couple “or” cases dangling outside the venn intersection.

the Masters Degree Boomers wouldnt have known how to do this. although maybe the GenX PhD Student Manager might have been able to figure it out. no offense to anyone, even these Boomers are very nice people.

this is why i get paid the big bucks of 11k a year!

i just get frustrated when i get a change to Speak Freely, and then i fook it up and dont express muh self clearly and sound like an idiot!

get an opportunity to Connect with someone and sell myself as a likeable, decent, interesting normie, and come across as an awkward idiot who still hasnt learned how to be an adult.

but they really dont care! if they do care, they are judging me positively with Sympathy and Concern and Caring. Rather than let this pathetic dead weight loser die off as a genetic dead end. More like, he still has potential and im gonna help him find it . he just needs a chance and im gonna give him that chance.

yeah i a judgmental as fook, prob more than i should be. but the thing is, heres the thing, if i actually KNEW a real person who was struggling, i would have compassion for them. even if in the abstract, i would say, cull the herd, weed out the weak, might makes right, cull yourself.

especially if they were a white man and they seemed like a decent person, i would show them sympathy and make an effort for them.

i saw a ridiculous bumper sticker yesterday: ITS NICE TO BE NICE.

But i fundamentally agreed with it, quite a bit. this is actually my MO when actually dealing with actual people in actual real life. nobody would suspect that I am a hate judgmental racist sexist whyte supremist neo nazi woman hater; OR that I am a super despairing debbie downer with no confidence. i just seem like a very sweet, mild mannered nice guy, because really I kind of am. but I am also a hateful hwyte supremist woman hater too! WHY NOT BOTH!

the thing that causes me the most TROUBLE is being the despairing debbie downer with no confidence.

https://assets.documentcloud.org/documents/3760414/Letter-from-Dylann-Roof.pdf

 

interesting

june 3 saturday

ok beautiful day, got 10:30 hours of sleep, did a bit of laundry, 12;08pm now, i should be Raring to Go, but I am not. I just want to sit here and ake a nap and do drugs hahahaha. by that i mean do MJ.

alcohol generally makes people more degenerate. sloppy drunk negros. muh dick. who cares about principles and morals and the future of our children, lets just get drunk. i did exactly that.

but what if you are already a principle hwyte warrior like i dunno anglin or weev? are THEY allowed to get drunk? I think so. and i think they DO on occasion. not a problem.

i think when strong hwyte men like this get drunk, they dont ultimately end up compromising their morals or their race. maybe they might bang a slut. big deal.

as long as they arent getting sloppy drunk every day, its ok for them to get sloppy drunk once in a while.

once a week?

meehhhhh maybe once every TWO weeks.

started reading defensive racism by edgar steele. it looks like its gonna be pretty good. very punchy no nonsense writing. and he names the joo pretty heavily.

https://archive.org/stream/DefensiveRacismByEdgarJSteele/Defensive%20Racism%20By%20Edgar%20J%20Steele_djvu.txt

read it!

might red pill people better than MK, which pretty much assumes youre already heavily red pilled, invested, hardcore.

honestly if its really hard work to redpill someone, theyll prob never get it. it should be easy and natural as long as they are not blatantly ignoring reality. just be like, you know blacks are largely poor violent criminals right? you dont want to live in the Ghetto right? you want to live in a mostly white neighborhod dont you? so you’re already racist, so what does it matter Why They Are The Way They Are? You think you can change them? you’re gonna throw YOUR children under the bus on some utopian ideas that might improve nonwhites lives in 100 years, and it actually wont work anyway? you think the GOVERNMENT is gonna fix this with Antiracist policies from Above? how would YOU solve it? mo money fo mo pogams? or how about mo monay for inner citay skools. its racist that fedgov and stategov gives 1 dollar for every black student in ghetto schools, and 60000000 dollars per student in good hwyte schools.

well we need more jobs. good jobs will stabilize the community.

and it probably WOULD. but youre gonna sacrifice your children and grandchildren in the hopes that The Powers That Be will Fix these problems in YOUR lifetime?

shit yeah more and better jobs would help.

but how about changing The Blacks Culture so that they arent a bunch of muh dick thugs and violent retards. how do you get blacks to do traditional nuclear families. how about by not incentivizing them to NOT do traditional nuclear families hahaha. incentivize what you want, punish what you dont.

how about just sending black boys into the army at age 14? shit send black girls into the army at age 14 too hahahaha.

this would literally improve the quality of life for blacks 100%. and whites too!

ok so what about the mexican problem. welp people voted to build a wall. most people should vote but they were right about this one. the wall is a good idea. and it hasnt happened. nothing has happened with the glorious beautiful wall. BUILD THE WALL NOW.

get kushner out, put bannon in. much more bannon, much less kushner.

oh no. we dont need to restrict immigration. we just need to have more good jobs for everybody.

i AGREE that would be fooking AWESOME. if i could just get a sweet 28k a year job with health care without even trying. like Boomer Steve could. whatever that boomer meme is.

this guy hahahaha.

yes wouldnt it be nice if all the blacks and browns and the god blessed hwytes could all get good jobs like that. average people getting above average jobs.

yeah that would solve a lot of problems. you might even be able to sustain a multiracial society with that.

but i honestly think it would be easier to create a Hwyte Homeland than to create that many Good Jobs for Average People.

i guess one step would be to resist globalization and embrace Civic Nationalism hahahaha.

heh. thats the other thing. aint no use saying youre a civic nationalist because the middle class pigs are still gonna call you racist, because ALL NATIONALISM IS BAD and inherently racist.

so it looks weak as fook to identify as and argue for Civic Nationalism, and heres why Civic Nationalism is a better idea than Racial Nationalism. we can redpill more normies on Civic Nationalism, its not as scary.

WRONG. redpillable people are gonna have a pretty much civic nationalist mindset anyway, i mean an ANTI GLOBALIST mindset. if you need to try to CONVINCE anyone that Globalism is a Bad Idea and must be Destroyed…..dont waste your time with these people!

people who are like “anti globalism is code for anti-semite! racist! alt right neo nazis screeching about the evils of globalism!”

GLOBALISM IS GOOD, GOY!

NATIONALISM IS BAD!

all nationalism is racist, ignorant and evil, including evil civic nationalism! dont you want to Work in a Global Community, hand in hand with workers from other countries! it helps us have the great quality of life we enjoy, goy! like those blacks in the ghetto hhehehehe. like the browns and asians living 50 in a house.

of course some of these mcmansions are big enough that 50 people COULD live in them. so blacks and browns actually DO this now. well hwytes should prob do it too.

again a small house on at least 1 acre of land should be good. of course 1 acre of land is expensive as fook! its also damn small. ideally you would get at least 5 acres.

http://www.alexlinder.com/audiobooks.html

NOICE

Linder takes time to personally record audiobooks. for some he adds his personal commentary, but this is prob ok because he is very smart. very smart. but he too does not get along with people AT ALL. which sucks. if he were to work with anglin for example…..it would make DS even BETTER and BIGGER.  all pro white people need to JOIN TOGETHER hehehe but they NEVER will. linder has been a huge asshole forever. its so frustrating because he is SO smart. GREAT writer, GREAT thinker, and he could do a LOT MORE GOOD if he just partnered up with people like anglin or spencer or even TRS.

heh. i didnt realize linder liked e michael jones so much…..but EMJ is pretty good and it would be stupid to dislike him. I should buy his books. so how come linder cant be so nice to other pro whites.

https://vnnforum.com/showthread.php?t=508998

audiobook of linder reading libido dominandi. EMJ book about porn and sexual morality and prob a lot about the jooz in there too hahahaha. this would prob be the first book i would buy hehehe

https://vnnforum.com/showthread.php?t=212845&highlight=daily+stormer

searching daily stormer on vnn

i would listen to anglin and linder have an 8 hour conversation hehehe gladly.

weird that AL would like EMJ because AL is a RABID anti-christian and EMJ is uhhhh a pretty big christian.

but yeah. AL is too much of a talent to be Languishing away in obscurity, but he brings a lot of that on himself I think.

Matt Parrott is another EXCELLENT writer, genius levels of autistic intelligence on that guy, outstanding writer as well, but no one knows who he is because he either doesnt get out much or he infights with people too much. he gets along very well with heimbach though.

i mean if i were building a NS Party for the current year, i would want to have all these super smart people….but they all hate each other. its either him or me!!!!! hes a phag enabler! hes a drama queen! hes a joo enabler! hes a joo lover! hes a crypto joo! hes a christcuck!

i mean i think people SHOULD show their 23 and mes if there is ever the slightest suspicion. mike enoch should have shown his months ago, immediately, when the shit first started.

heh.  i am old school. i knew about AL and parrott back in 2012 or even 2011 hehehehehe.  he is insanely smart and needs to pump himself up more.

he had a mini scandal regarding him fooking an arab slut or something, but thats not the end of the world. i think he just doesnt want to work people.

this isnt like me not wanting to be in a Metal Band because I cant get along with other metal people. i would hope most 1433 VVNs would be able to agree on First Principles, and also be interested in Tactical Activity rather than just pure larping and internet jaw flapping hehehehe.  like lets start a movement of real people in real life. get a group of 1000 healthy hwyte men with anglin and others giving fiery speeches.

shit. “just” be more like GLR. that guy had a real movement.

its just frustrating. i think the most important things are

  1. having young people, ie under 30, ideally under 25
  2. meeting in real life

thats it. those two things would go a long way. and I think a lot more young people are coming in, and it seemed like TRS was leading the way in getting people to meet. DS has book clubs but I dont think they are as active as the TRS pool parties were.

BUT AA announced that he will soon be doing a more coordinated system and pushing for book clubs. put more of his limited energy towards getting regular book clubs going.

alex linder i guess has terrible health. i thought he had crohns disease and god knows what else, so he is not very physically strong.

ideally i would like to see a yearly DS convention with tons of  people and speeches from anglin. with regular large book clubs in every major city every few weeks.

this and great podcasts was TRS’s strong suit. but that shit that happened with the joowife really weakened TRS in general. very disappointing!

and so now DS and anglin is the leader of the pack. and I am happy about that. I just hope he doesnt get weakened by something. but he’s not an infighter drama queen. he doesnt start shit. he gets along with people. if peopel dont like him, thats THEIR problem.

but i think he needs to embrace being a leader more. write less and get out in the real world more. start doing more speeches and rallies. his 2014 speech in london was AWESOME. he should be doing something like that every month.

i dont do real life meetups because i am ashamed of my loserness. how can i possibly be a good hwyte warrior. i cant. i literally have NOTHING to offer. except for very limited shekels.

DS thread recently saying that you could use torrents to host websites. distributed systems. so you never had to find some russian company to host your racist website and then one of them drunkenly trips over the power cord and the #1 racist website in the world is down for hours.

but weev said “distributed systems” are ridiculously complex and the top minds in the world can barely comprehend them. so it might not be so simple.

well weve had torrent files for years though and those work pretty well!

and also money. peopel still dont want to use bitcoins and those are easy to use. but i think you could do something better. something more stable, with less fees, and quicker.

like sending checks and cash to a PO box hahahahaha.

mudslim running over 20 people with a van in london. like 2 weeks after the manchester bombings. yep this is it. remember when this sort of thing used to be a big deal. now its nothing.

when will it start habbening in the US?

https://www.amazon.com/Hitlers-War-David-Irving/dp/0380758067/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1496532584&sr=1-1&keywords=david+irving+hitlers+war

anyway immediately there are thousands of tweets from Cuckolds defending muslims. were not gonna turn these people. just very basic bitch stuff like not all muslims, these are not muslims, these are evil terrorists, theres a difference, real muslims were giving medical care to the people being run over, real muslims condemn religious extremism and murder etc.

and this happens OVER and OVER and OVER and OVER and OVER again, every week, every day, with those same kind of dumb tweets from whites and nonmuslims.

millennial woes london forum 2017 withnail and i speech is very good, well worth watching even if you have never seen the movie. i saw it once like 12 years ago and was probably drunk. i dont remember ANY of it.

https://www.theguardian.com/books/2017/jun/03/why-no-long-talking-white-people-review-race-reni-eddo-lodge-racism

hehehe when your hwyte professional middle class friends read stuff like this, nod their head solemnly, and actually talk like that……its time to get new hwyte friends hahahahahaha

SOO hard to stay under 1500 calories. i went above today and i i am about to go to bed and i am still hungry and could eat a big meal right now. 1000 calories. actually ate a 1000 calorie meal earlier and it didnt seem that big!!

https://bbs.dailystormer.com/t/how-to-respect-women/110854

so pewdiepie is getting into hwyte sharia now?

or at the very least he is saying women like it when you treat them like garbage. which is a pretty redpilled thing to say anyway. and something the joo absolutely does not want feminized white boyz to learn.

YOU GON LEARN TODAY.

TREAT WOMEN LIKE GARBAGE.

ITS THE ONLY WAY YOURE GONNA LIVE OUT THE 14 WORDS.

hehehe.

ITS THE ONLY WAY YOURE GONNA STOP BEING AN INCEL VIRGIN.

 

sun nov 12

mar 27

yep here at 652 am, all dressed up, showered, ready to go, prob have one more explosive BM in 10 minutes, then go and have productive, powerful, valuable, value-adding, value-making day hahahaha.

hmm 7:15 of sleep last night, not great hahahahaha. see how the best laid plans go awry. went to bed at 8pm. numbers are point to near 9 hours of sleep needed. ok fine. deal with it.jpg. really SHOULD go to bed at 7:15 pm then but that would just look too weird.

checked email, calendar, before going to job here.

the story of the student who spent 12 hours working a 12 hour midnight shift in a machine shop then feel asleep the next morning because he was going to COLLEGE in the am and working 12 hours during the night. holy shit. i can barely work 6 hours of an easy job then do ANYthing afterwards, let alone go to a 3 hour college class in the morning hahahaha.

and i actually had a little energy today! not sure where that came from hahaha since i “only” got 7:15 of sleep last night.

normal people work 12 hour shifts at night from…. 8pm to 8am, making 10 dollars an hour, so they can take a class from 9am to 1pm that gets them 1% closer to becoming qualified to compete for 14 dollar an hour jobs hahahaha.

its amazing. i never knew that normies worked so HARD. i figured that the normal normie was LAZY like me. most people go for the path of LEAST RESISTANCE, right? its why so many people are so GROTESQUELY OBESE. because fatty food is cheap and unlimited, and people cant CONTROL THEMSELVES. so how can they control themselves to become damn WORKAHOLICS? but they cant control themselves not to become GROTESQUELY obese? something just doesnt make sense here!!!!!

ok maybe they save all their self control for work, so they dont have any left when it comes to eating. that MUST be how it works.

well then how come they arent PROFLIGATE drinkers or opioid poppers either?

because THE RULE IS, you have enough self control to keep you from being hopelessly addicting from All Things But ONE. Pick One. every person has ONE tragic flaw. not two, but one and only one hahahahaha.

sooo……..how come plenty of other people are opioid poppers AND huge losers who can’t work? thats TWO tragic flaws hahahahaha.

basically in order to be a normie successful adult so you can have an ok wife and take care of your children and make 30k a year, you have to be willing to work 12 hour midnight shifts and THEN go to SKOOL afterwards for YEARS until you get your degree and can then afford to have a wife and a family. if you’re not willing to work that HARD for that LONG, you dont deserve a family of your own hahahahahahahaha.

well whats WRONG with that?

well, other than that is my RULE for Why I can never get married and have children!

what else….

oh well i just never wanted to be a WORKAHOLIC, so that’s why im a huge loser now. all those drug bums sucking dick on the streets, the only reason they’re like that is not because they werent willing to WORK, but because they werent willing to be WORKAHOLICS.

i only want to work 40 hours a week and not an hour more, that is why i’m a HUGE LOSER AT LIFE. see, something doesnt add up hahahaha.

just remember. the qt nice perfect gurl you want to buy FLOWERS for, is just some more manly guys DIRTY BUTTSLUT. taking it up the ass from guys she just met at COLLEGE in a drunken orgy. and you want to be all nice and pedestally and white knight to THAT? a dirty BUTT SLUT??!?!?!!

oh but she’s special TO ME. yeah well to other men she is just a dirty butt slut literally taking it up the ass. you can’t undo that.

heh sorry i am watching a law and order SVU about College Raep Epidemic of innocent gurls getting GangReaped at Frat Parties by evil hwyte boys.

the hunting ground.mov

college sluts who get gang reaped then go to psych ward for 2 years end up becoming more successful in life than me hahahahaha. get out of the psych ward, go back to skool, get masters degree as a raep crisis counselor, MA.

oh god i really am horrible. no i dont think any gurl deserves to get raeped, even the ones who are literally asking for it. white men dont raep women ever, period, not even the dirtiest trashiest fatherless butt sluts.

you know what kind of men DO raep women? negros. joos. arabs. any hwyte man who raeps a woman is basically a race traitor.

goddamn. ate too much at dinner again.

also saw at least one beautiful hwyte young college gurl today, wearing jeans that I as her father would not let her wear. why do they have to wear pants that are SO TIGHT? i know we are not ARABS who need our women in BURKA DURKAS, but my god, I thought MODESTY was a hwyte virtue!

how about a nice long skirt? how about pants that DONT perfectly cling to your buttocks, legs, thighs, hips like a Second Skin???!?!?!?!!?! damn!

i just hate the thought of women i Luved going off and being dirty butt sluts. A woman should NEVER, EVER be a dirty butt slut, EVER. its not just some PHASE you go through when you are 18 to 21. NO. NEVER. EVER. EVER.

well its hard to believe i even GOT feelings for her (not really). i mean these “all women are dirty sluts” thoughts are nothing new for me, i’ve been thinking this way since i was like 13 hahahahahahahaha.

but the reason its not surprising i feel in luv with her was, she was YOUNG, she was HWYTE, she didnt have any KIDS, she was very NICE to me, and we were FRIENDS and built up some closeness, we KNEW each other.  also she was a Solid 7, Not Potatoey, Long Legs, very whyte skin, there were no real dealbreakers about her physically. like being a stumpy potato or nonwhyte or old or blatantly Haggishly Fugly is really it for me.

anyway this is dead horse shit. not even interesting.

well bitcoin coming back up again thank GOD.

i felt pretty good until I came home, THEN i felt like a lazy bum who didnt want to be a workaholic to survive. when i am Working On The Clock, i feel a LITTLE bit more normie. well unless I think, this doesnt COUNT, this is not a proper normie bigboy job. then yeah that  thought sucks too.

i guess ALL of it is technically WAY better than being a 100% jobless neet.

great TITS on that marishka hargitay, even if she is a manfaced lanternjaw manjaw. would totally bang.

and i dont mean to minimize the rest of her body by saying she has GREAT TITS. im sure she probably has a BRETTY GOOD ass as well!!!!

hehehe. this is what the LORD has destined for me, to be constantly AT WAR with women. yeah MOST of that is ON ME, i fully admit it……but SOME of it is on them. they dont HAVE to be so horrible. yeah its all da jooz fault. but god damn. cant they RESIST the jooing even a TINY bit? no! they LUV it! they LUV being negro whores!!!!!

not all women! some women, it DOES bother them on some deep level, and they say, there must be more to life than this. than being chad, tyrone, and achmed’s dirty butt slut on instagram and tinder.

even the women i knew in COLLEGE to be HUGE SLUTS werent as big of sluts as the Fictional Slut in my MIND, this horrible fantasy nightmare of the sluttiest slut who ever existed (but who really NEVER existed.) sure, plenty of women are slutty and gross, but not THIS slutty and gross.

if i could Literally make a CAREER out of slut shaming I would. I would WILLINGLY, EAGERLY get a MASTERS DEGREE in it.

What would YOU get a masters degree in?

well ok that one doesnt exist. what are my safety nets.

Joo Exposing. Eradicating Jooish Degeneracy.

nope sorry that one doesnt exist either.

becoming and UNbecoming a Neet Loser. i guess that one might exist, as a counselor, therapist, psychologist, social worker, shrink.

so THATS what I should become then? a SOCIAL WORKER??????? a COUNSELOR?

oh yeah. marriage and relationship counselor. that would also be good hahaha. man woman relshits i mean ships.

from a very unpozzed, hwyte, nonjooish perspective.

but all education/training/research in this fields is HEAVILY jooed, as is basically anything thats not a hard stem science. you literally CANNOT ESCAPE it if you want to get the degree and work in the field.

and plenty of people leave the field and become Customer Service Agents because that pays better and they have mouths to feed.

which you can totally do without a Masters Degree, even in Current Year.

Can’t say that will ALWAYS be the case though.

WHAT A WORLD that would be. in 2027, you wont even be able to get a job in a Customer Service Call Center unless you have a MASTERS DEGREE in Customer Service. HOLY FOOK.

oh sorry. you have a masters degree in customer service but not a masters degree in customer service in a phone call center, looks like YOUR masters degree was in face to face customer service.

right major, but wrong CONCENTRATION hahahaha.

shit think i drank too much coffee today. might not be able to sleep tonight even though i plan on going to bed at decent hour. damn.

you know who doesnt think every woman is a degenerate slut?

chad normies who have been with 1 woman every 2 years since age 18 who are average hard workers who get average bachelors degrees in business related stuff and average 35k a year jobs at age 22, get married by 28, have a kid by 30. raise their kids to not be racist like the terrible older generations. cant take the kids around their racist great-grandparents. smh. those uneducated racists just lived in different times and didnt know any better.

well can you prove to me it ISNT White Systemic Racism that causes all the social problems of The Blacks? you cant! just like YOU cant prove that its all because of their Race!

ok. so its impossible to prove a negative. you cant prove that this ISNT the case. so youre right. I CANT prove it ISNT whtie racism. you cant prove it isnt jooish racism hahahaha. i CAN prove it IS jooish racism! you cant prove it IS hwyte racism!

i clearly need to get back to muh GLR, i am going Nutty.

im just jelly of normie adults. i just want to BE one but its so god damn hard. such a god damn struggle. they WORKED harder than I did, but I think I STRUGGLED MORE than THEM.

too bad the Struggle wasn’t worth more WORK. hahahaha. then i would be making like 35k a year and married a nonslut.

thats the problem with struggling. its even more exhausting than work, but COUNTS for much LESS.  it gets you NOWHERE, AND it wears you out and makes you less likely to do the work that IS actually worth something.

damn.

sheeeeeeit. again ate wayyyyy too much today. god damn. really got to stop this.

so i thought that my interest in race was a part of my “dad phase”, where i wanted to have children but wasn’t man enough, so i will have children symbolically through My Race.

but then today i thought, well its more than just Having Children, it’s Relating To Women as well. the natural connection between men and women, which then leads to children. I dont have children but kinda want children, so i project that onto Race. I don’t have a waifu but I want a (hwyte) waifu….so I project that onto Race as well. these are both pretty big desires, so thus I am a HUGGGGGGGEEEEEEEEEE racist. Which I proudly AM. I FOOKING LUV BEING HWYTE.

i mean its only logical. really our race is just a product of thousands of years of hwyte men and hwyte women getting together and having hwyte children!!!!!!! that is Race 101 right there!

ok. so i am obsessed with My Hwyte Race because I am obsessed with Women, with Children, with my own sense of Failure and needing something to cling to. SO WHAT. the only one that’s kinda BAD is that third one.

so….you’re saying if i HAD a woman, I wouldn’t CARE about RACE so much??!?!?!

who the fook am I arguing with here hahahahahaha. i mean this isnt even really fun, its just boring.

when i was in luv with that woman, i didn’t suddenly throw muh race under the bus. i was still very pro-hwyte.

the bottom line is, i’ve been pretty much blatantly pro-white since 2012, before this blog began, i was just more careful back then not to talk about it so blatantly, cuz it was still kinda new and scary.

you think young joos are consciously trying to genocide the goy? fook no! even as they get older i dont think this is ever their conscious goal….however ENDING RACISM certainly IS. and I would argue that there methods of ENDING RACISM are inherently harmful to hwytes.

basically, anti-racist is code for anti-white.

keep asking them questions, keep asking how and why, and eventually anti racists will just end up shaking their heads and saying something like, well look, its just karma, whites reap what they have sown. you cant oppress so many people for so long and not have a backlash, and i am willing to see my race pay the reparations now for all the evil shit they did in the past. i’m not that attached to my whiteness. i don’t care if my children and grandchildren are mixed race. i love diversity! i live and work with people of all races! i would totally marry and have kids with another race! i’m white and i freely admit whites have basically been the worst group of people in history and it’s only FAIR that whites PAY THE TOLL.

this is the sentiment you will find in white leftists and its sickening.

i never was coherent enough to question them to that logical conclusion but i have been present where essentially other people questioned them to that conclusion.

it sounds bad guys, but maybe those evil apartheid fascist boers in south africa just need to die off already. i don’t think racists like that could be helped. just lock them up away from everyone so they cant oppress anyone. they’ll never open their minds. they’ll never changed. they can’t be fixed. there’s so many Old White Racists like that. I cant bring my Grandparents Anywhere. they’re too old to learn. Sad! at least our younger generation knows better and can teach OUR children not to be RACIST.

GO FUCH YASELF.

I won’t teach my kids to be racist or not to be racist, and they will probably learn to be racist just by observing Life. And White Racist Systems Turning Blacks into Easily-Blamable Victims hahahaha.

hey two can play at this hidden wizard of oz behind the curtain bullshit.

so THEIR idea is bullshit of a hwyte man being behind the curtain, but MY idea of da jooz being behind the curtain is totally NOT bullshit?!?!?!

HALP ME GLR hahahahaha

its not the idea of someone being behind a curtain that’s bullshit hehehehe. that is totally not a bullshit metaphor, but a very useful and true one hahahaah.  really ive been into this metaphor for basically my whole life. regardless of political orientation. its just the idea of things not being what they seem. take the red pill hahaha.

am i just hyped up from drinking coffee all day? yeah probably a little.

am i excited from seeing that beautiful 20 year old hwyte gurl earlier today? well now that you mention it, she was very beautiful hahahahaha. but wasnt really thinking about that.

i was walking with an older man when that girl stepped in front of us. he certainly saw her too and maybe even got excited for a second. until he immediately realized that holy shit, he has a daughter who is almost that age. and all the men are gonna be ogling her. i can’t let them out of the house wearing jeans like that.

all this went through my mind in a matter of seconds after the girl appeared hahahaha.

i’ll allow the guy a second of excitement. but i would be disappointed in him if he didn’t immediately take the perspective of The Good Father. because he DOES have a daughter around that age and I DO think he is trying his damnedest to BE a good father! I like and respect the guy in other words.

he has several children in that age bracket. that college age bracket where SO MUCH SHIT can go SO WRONG. where it went so wrong for me. so naturally i am interested in seeing how he guides his children through that. will they become total fookups like me? or will they become successful middle class professionals like HIM?

it is fairly obvious hahahaha. he is guiding them to useful career paths, useful internships, and is probably aware if they have any Severe Emotional Issues hahahahaha.

mar 28
ok 645 am here , getting my morning stuff in hehehe. had weird dream. i was watching a “weird japanese movie” which was the frame for a very realistic story where it was basically me in the movie, fallling in luv with a Manic Pixie Dream Girl who was clearly damaged and disturbed and more than a little kinky and passionate. we enjoyed a passionate affair in a hotel for a few days then she had to leave and she was sad and I was heartbroken. I watched her leave and as she left, she began flirting with a sleazy mocha-skinned guy and smiling and flirting with him and got into a car with him. replaced me with this guy less than 30 mins after leaving me. wow. i was a complicated mix of emotions. yeah i shoulda known better to get mixed up with a MPDG cuz this was TEXTBOOK behavior, but i was lonely and the gurl was young, qt, and throwing herself at me.

also continues the theme of there being movies in my dreams that sometimes recur. often “lars von trier” movie is code for “extremely fooked up nightmare.” this movie was a “japanese” movie called “akira” that was really more of a degenerate jooish thing as a “edgy coming of age love secs story” than anything “japanese”, other than the japanese can ne extremely secsually degenerate, and i suppose that could be a jooish thing.

earlier in the dream i was with muh fam on The Super Rich side of town. we stopped at this extremely lavish hotel type luxury building with hebrew letters. i was like uhhh this is a jooish building, lets stay out of here, i dont care how nice it looks.

we went inside, it was very “nice” and luxurious and opulent. i didnt know if it would be filled with joos but that was my fear, and that they would try to take advantage and humiliate us goys. i was heavily on guard. there were actually some fairly normie looking touristy people like us. i couldnt tell what they were – joo or no joo hahahaha. i put them under heavy khazar/ashkenazi suspicion.

at some point this morphed into the above dream which also took place in a luxurious hotel i think.

7:05 hours of sleep even though i got to bed at proper correct time of 8 pm. just didnt fall asleep till 930 though. yeah prob did drink too much coffee during the day.

i always “like” to try to “FIGURE THINGS OUT” by THINKING about them a LOT, that i think i can think my way through things. but really i just end up OVERTHINKING everything and very often coming to a…..distorted, exagerrated, overly negative conclusion.

its not completely 180 off, maybe just 90 hahaha. so it bears some relation to the truth. mixing lies with the truth is the most effective and damaging kind of lie hahaha. it ruined muh life!

about to leave to go to job here. today would liek to again go to bed at 8 pm, drink less coffee, and DEFINITELY eat less food, ate WAY too much food yesterday and went like 500 calories over. DAMN. maybe do something productive at job. at least come across as charming and normie and nice and willing and able. try to take some phone calls and dispense some confident, authoritative advice: no, you cannot do this, and here’s why. no can do, you don’t have to like it, talk to our legal team, they’ll tell you the same thing, and frankly, they’re not even gonna waste their time calling you back. Good Bye.

later

funny its not the work day that kills me, like it did before. i am adjusting as well as i can to a very favorable environment! but the challenge begins when i get OUT and go HOME, just the STREAM of constant self recrimination of being a lazy loser bum, when you cant legitimately have those thoughts WHILE you are currently Working On The Clock, being productive, so therefore the solution is to be working 40 hours a week or 80 hours a week as opposed to….30 hours a week. workaholics who work 12 hour midnight shifts THEN go to college and stay INSANELY, workaholically BUSY.

https://www.vice.com/en_us/article/what-its-like-taking-a-grown-mans-virginity?utm_source=vicetwitterus

if they werent CREEPY HWYTE WOMEN HATERS, THEY WOULDNT BE VIRGINS WHEN THEY ARE 20+ YEARS OLD! SOMETHINGS CLEARLY WRONG WITH THESE WOMAN HATING NICEGUYTMS!!!! THINKING THEY ARE ENTITLED TO WOMENS BODIES!!!!!

what a BAD CREEPY MAN, he didnt tell you he was a virgin until AFTERWARDS hahahaha. like youd allow him to bang your n>900000 ass if you knew he was a creepy, broken VIRGIN beforehand!

this slut has taken the virginity of AT LEAST FOUR men who were 20+ year old virgins. multiple 30 year old virgins. wow.

well just keep in mind this is a horrible VICE WRITER.

http://archive.is/BkVWY

archive of shitty article. wheres the comments

no comments. damn. anyway these are actually shitty vice readers who are all huge sluts who dont thinkg anything is weird about having secs with a guy drunkenly you have just met. its normal to Blow your manager At Work.  and all the guys have Issues of course, and the women are just looking for a Quick Fook, not to help a guy with his Issues and be his first GF. let somebody else do that. hahahaha. except that never happens. maybe he bangs a few more dirty sluts.

so if i bang a dirty slut, am obligated to tell her beforehand that i havent banged a gurl in 13 years hahahaha? that i have only really banged 1 gurl a total of 2 times? i mean how much am I really supposed to TELL them? am i supposed to tell them all of that? i guess i can understand telling them youre a VIRGIN hahaha.

well ii guess i would say, i’m CLOSE to a virgin but i just want to add another notch to the belt today and youre it babe, just let me bang you and lets get this bullshit over with and hopefully i can find a better woman than you to have an actual rel with. so i hope you were jsut looking for a quick fook and nothing more hahahahaha.

ok done. got what im going to say next time i bang a slut. it’ll happen, i’m fairly confident, and it probably wont be pretty. it probably will be a dirty high number slut who is drunk. i dont know how old or good looking they will be. i am hoping for younger and qter. they will be somewhat crazy. crazier than me! but hopefully not too much.

wewlad. glad to get what im gonna say out of the way. now just gotta find a slut who is willing to bang a short old loser who hasnt banged a woman in many years and is ALMOST a virgin.

welp its still better than being a virgin. i think the majority of men lose their man virginity with dirty sluts rather than with a special GF qt high school sweetheart type gurl. so just be grateful if you can pull a good looking slut rather than a bad looking one. thankfully i did. unthankfully i never pulled a woman ever again hahahahaha. maybe because i wanted another qt gurl and didnt want a goddamn road hog. heh. well after that slut i swore ok im done with SLUTS, i want the NEXT gurl I bang to be a serious GF. that went over like a lead balloon. i actually lost a chance to bang another slut that i wish i had taken now. not like the slut would have had any trouble find a cock to fill her up. might as well have been me. good luck trying to find a man to commit to you now, ya used up skank hahaha. well at least she is super successful in life haha. probably associates with a lot of successful men as well. where she has to downplay what a huge whore she is hahahaha.

no i dont care. i just really thought i would ahve been able to pull another slut in 13 years! but in the real world, even SLUTS are hard for low-confidence omega men to pull! when i pulled those sluts before, i was in a weird college world, where automatically me being there meant i had potentially high status. but in the real world, where i have really low status, i cant even pull SLUTS.  until i raise my status. which i have been struggggggggling to do, with no success.

its hard to believe these WOMEN are actual PEOPLE! living human BEINGS like you and me!

well that makes me sound like a sociopath. yes i can believe they are human beings, but they just seem like different BREEDS, sort of liek the races seem like different BREEDS, which is a word GLR wisely, aptly, correctly uses in WP. that is a great way to think about races.

not sure if its a great way to think about men vs women though.

besides, GOD has made it my mission in life, my cross to bear, to be in constant conflict with women. with the final goal MAYBE being that i learn to stop being in conflict with them. who knows. maybe thats not the goal. maybe my cross to bear is to be in huge conflict with women for muh entire life. i am paying off some kind of debt. both for myself and for others.

its just fookin retarded to WANT something so badly. both women, and also to want to be a successful normie, but not being WILLING to do the WORK it takes to get there. the YEARS and YEARS of 17 hour days of work. 10000 hours to get good at something. 10000 hours to get good at your career, 10000 hours to get good at women. note:10000 hours is about….4 years of Full Time Work. Approx.

and i am totally butthurt at school and education not counting at all towards those necessary 20000 hours. mother fooking EIGHTEEN YEARS of school WASTED. 18 years of life! over half your life, blatantly wasted! thats worth getting butthurt about!

but not if the butthurt keeps you from fixing it and turning the ship around.

it doesnt take you 18 years to turn the ship around. ONLY EIGHT. hahahaha. 20000 hours.

in my homeschooling utopia, you would be an EXPERT, a masters-level EXPERT in THREE things by the time you were done with twelve years of school at 17 or 18. in other words, your could make a good living in TWO types of career, and have the Social Expertise to pull a Woman, reproduce, and the economic success to support your children.

basically, go to 16 year olds and tell them, do this or you’ll never meet a woman or move out on your own. you’ll die a lonely loser childless wifeless virgin who makes less than negros at walmart and mcd’s. get a stem degree or become an electrician. end of discussion. if you dont do those things, you’ll die a fat virgin basement dweller. you DO want to have secs with a QT gurl, don’t you? well you wont if you dont d one of thsese things. period. end of discussion. now get out there and get started. you can get started on your stem degree at age 16.

literally. there are plenty of kids in my working class nonelite normiezip who enroll in comm college at age 16, graduate high school at age 18, and associates degree as well, then fooking stem degree at age 20. damn. why didnt i do this? because I didnt really KNOW about it for one.

but thats not true! one of the kids in my AP history class took Calculus or Pre Engineering courses at the local College!

of course i thought he was a huge dork.

and unfortunately not a lot of our kids in my high school did that. they just loaded up on gay AP courses, which is NOT the way to go.

the way to go is take the easiest high school classes you can, take as few of them as you can, and Dual Enroll into Comm College as SOON as possible, age 14 if you can. dual enrollment its called. its a common thing in opioid epidemic flyover amerifat trump country hahahaha. and i didnt totally understand it until recently.

DUAL ENROLL YOUR KIDS WHEN THEY ARE 14. basically skip high school and go straight to college. public schools have agreements with the college so that the school district  ie taxpayers will pay for the college tuition.

also i wonder if its easier to pull 19 year old college sluts when you are a 15 year old “genius” hehehehe. that would be confidence building af! they think you are all qt and then they want to make you their little project. they are willing to spend time and effort on you and let you bang them at least 10 times. then you can pull a better woman once you are established. ideally something arranged with the girl’s father who is looking for suitable husbands for his virgin daughter. which you will totally be, as a 20 year old engineer making 45k a year hahahaha.

or you can get a Journalism degree and make 11k a year at age 30 and never be able to pull even the craziest, dirtiest slut for noncommittal secs. your choice hahahahaha.

if i could go back in time and present these stark terms to my younger self, i would love to do that. get 14 year old me to dual enroll in local college. i could even just take intro to bullshit classes. i would get college credit for them and they would be way easier than AP classes.  AP classes are a HUGE jooish screwjob. they were basically TWICE as hard as college classes, AND TWICE as long.  big mistake there. also i hated them so they killed muh will to learn and made me really hate skool hahaha. never understood why high school classes had to last like 8 or 9 fookin months, the whole skool year long. fookin gay as fook. i would have much rather taken college classes that were only HALF as gae as fook. and gotten credits that meant more in the adult world. also all this would have looked really good to employers.

well didnt my res look good for a while after i did graduate college? whats the date of expiration there? 1 year? WHATS THE RULE? i went to a prestigious enough college that i would think my “recent grad grace period” lasts a little longer. even if it did, i STILL blew it!

and i was drinking too much, and prob doing too much MJ.  i was def drinking too much tho. if i had to choose one or the other, i should have chosen MJ. it was alcohol that “made” me do all the really stupid regrettable stuff like drive drunk, act like an idiot in front of friends and women, etc. should have just sm0ked tons of MJ and signed up immediately for shrink at that time.  yeah i know the alcohol didnt MAKE me do anything. and i admit driving drunk is always retarded.

but is it really? if you never hurt anyone? hahahaha. real edgy libertarian argument here. its not a crime unless you hurt someone else.

western jooish capitalists were financing marxists and communists. karl marx financed by fels, soap magnate; bolsheviks financed by schiff, international bankster.

oh this is fake news. they werent really joos, they didnt really “finance” anything.

ok ate much less calories today. still too much but a big improvement over yesterday. also didnt drink as much coffee today. should be better prepared to go to bed at 8pm.

how bitcoin do today. up 0.2% ok thats fine. thats a lot ahahaha.

i wonder what GLR would have said about Cultural Marxism. well that its a disgusting disgrace, and that this long march through the institutions has resulted in a long march through the culture in general, leaving a wake of jooish destruction, emptiness, nihilism, rootlessness, dispossession, aimlessness, Morally Adrift, disillusionment, anomie, ennui, etc. hedonism, atheism, hopelessness, drugs, secs, DESPAIR, opioid epidemics, culture of death, culture of disposability, replaceability, use once then throw away, everythings expendable and replaceable and CHEAP.

but id say GLR would be hopping mad at how for example feminist and anitwhite shit is no longer the purview of collegephags, but basically everybody. its not just joos producing degenerate plays in fooking NYC and LA. its fooking girls in kansas fooking negros and fooking wichita kansas being jooed like every large city, not just the coastal ones.

i mean the goyim are in worse shape than they are in GLR’s day, in other words.

GLR was a fan of: J Edgar Hoover, FBI, Joe McCarthy, Douglas MacArthur, maybe Eisenhower, maybe Nixon, Batista, Kai-Shek. Gerald LK Smith.

he was not a fan of: FDR, Truman, JFK, probably LBJ. Alger Hiss. Felix Frankfurter, Castro, Chairman Mao Mao, Earl Warren, CIA

ok there were ALWAYS commie jooz in every city, not just joo york and la. but miami, atlanta, charleston, st louis, any big city. well what about fookin wichita. ok city. well if they can get to st louis they can get anywhere. denver. i cant imagine many live in wyoming tho hahahaha.

but i have to imagine the jooz of louisville 1920 werent as bad as the jooz of NYC 1920.

ok things are different now because there has been no soviet union for fookin 25 years. the idea of russian spies is ludicrous. but i argue that crooked jooz are still in power in many of the ex soviet countries. and the much bigger threat now is not hardcore red commies, but cultural marxists and swedish type socialists. kinder gentler version of communism. now you have Socialism. and the horrible Cultural Marxism, Diveristy, Multiculturalism, and Equality it works towards.

MORAL SUBVERSION. ALWAYS with the MORAL SUBVERSION. now just as much as ever before. probably even more. less overt communism, more socialism, more diversity, more fookin moral subversion.

you think i’m faking this? i wouldnt be spending so much time writing about it if i were a JOO SHILL or a phony faker poseur just interested in this for a few months like a damn woman bandwagon jumper!

what if i did a 23 and me and turned out to be 10% jooish.

i would NOT be happy about it. i would publicly recant it and try to eradicate it with a hwyte woman. but beforehand, i would be like, listen, i’m 10% jooish, so our children will be 5% jooish, but my goal is to get them 100% hwyte because i want to eradicate the joo out of ME but it cant be done. and i feel a little bad about making you race mix liek this. so just sign on the dotted line goy saying you waive your rights hahahaha.

yeah i would prob do that, esp if i were still 90% hwyte. would make more sense than me trying to mate with 100% joos!

or ideally i wouldnt mate at ALL…..and it looks like i am going that route anyway. damn.

 

 

 

WOMEN HAVE NO MORAL COMPASS AND ARE WIRED TO HATE OMEGA MEN

wed aug 9

so people used to drink like 1% alcohol beer because it was cleaner than water, the alcohol killed all the germs and viruses and bacteria and shit in the water, so it was actually safer to drink beer than water. and you stayed hydrated by drinking weak beer instead of water.

could you dump dirty water into beer and then the smallest amount of alcohol would kill all germs? i dont think it worked that way. like, you couldnt ADD shit. you could MAKE really watery beer and then THAT water would be ok.

whenever i read shit on /relships, im like, why are you even asking? just dump them. just dump them.

then i realize its because they actually CARE, they dont WANT to dump them, they want to save this relship, they are WILLING to MAKE AN EFFORT, they dont WANT to LOSE this person.

and it is painful when a person just wants to be DONE with you. they want to be done with you SO MUCH that they are ok with never talking to you or seeing you ever again. you might as well have DIED.

at least send your mom, or your BFF, or your new BF, or a Social Work Student, to be a messenger of the bad news and to say SORRY, I KNOW THIS SUCKS FOR YOU. or you can just send an email or text yourself which says that. sorry, i know this sucks for you, i dont mean to cause you this pain, but i cant do this anymore, i have to back out, sorry, the end.

how hard is it to send a TEXT saying THAT? it takes LESS THAN ONE MINUTE. to throw away a person without even taking LESS THAN ONE MINUTE to say something to them is just ridiculous hahaha. i would NEVER do it to anyone.

now i am on the outs with people but its completely different situation. like for an incorrigible addict who has been given countless chances by everyone in their life. that’s not what was happening with me and that woman. i felt i wasnt even being given ONE chance to Air The Grievances. Festivus hahahaahahaha.

i AGREE that at some point you can talk about it TOO MUCH and talking about it any more wont do you any good, you just need to END it.

i’m not sure when that point is. probably when one person is sick of TALKING about it and the other person is obviously not listening AT ALL. I think this is probably more than three times. use the old three strikes rule of thumb.

so yeah i dont feel i got three strikes. never even TALKED about it ONCE. SO THERE.

eyebrows. never understood the manicuring of eyebrows on women. i have about average eyebrows and i would be perfectly happy with a woman who had the exact same eyebrows as me. well i have one eyebrow hair that grows extremely long. not sure how that happened but i just trim that one single hair like every 3 months and that is good enough. basically i prefer a natural look to an artificial look, and everything women do to make themselves up looks so artificial to me! women of a certain age are NATURALLY beautiful! why do they want to fook it up by making it look ARTIFICIAL?

for a similar reason I don’t like makeup, lipstick, eye shadow, eyelash mascara, any of that shit. no thank you. YOU LOOK LIKE A HOOKER.

maybe the TINIEST bit of makeup to show that she is making an effort for you, her man, not to seduce a room full of rich men. of course she doesnt need to make an effort in the looks department, but showing the WILLINGNESS to DO SOMETHING for you shows loyalty and luv and good faith. the more you know. rather than someone who ignores you, avoids you, and takes you for granted. doesnt really luv you. wants to be done with you but is too craven to tell you in ANY way.

hire a damn Process Server hahahahahaha.  YOU GOT SERVED.

no i didnt hahahahaha. i would have preferred getting SERVED.

aaaaannnnnd bitcoin continues to go up. OH WELL. I DONT HAVE ANY MORE TO SELL.

I resent women because (and this is certainly not the ONLY reason) is because I would be SUCH a GOOD woman. I could be a better woman than most women. Men know what Men want. Men know how to be a better woman. Women have no idea what women want, or how to be a better man, so their opinions are stupid and worthless. men’s opinions are wise, meaningful, correct, and important. Men speak the truth, women speak bullshit.

but this is the way its ALWAYS been! dont hate a cat for being a cat! dont hate a dog for being a dog!

yeah but dogs and cats arent supposed to mate together!

but im just saying its always been CONCEALED and COVERT with women, they NEVER knew what REALLY goes on inside their body or minds, so why expect them to be “honest” about it? they can’t possibly BE honest!

i guess I just value HONESTY that much. and men DO.

i guess i’m just mad that men value honesty so much and women are naturally dishonest, incapable of honesty. if i didnt care about honesty so much, i wouldnt care about women being deceptive.

heh. well, what do women hate about men? they hate weak, needy, clingy men. and there are plenty of weak, clingy, needy men out there. i’ve been one myself.

i dunno. i just feel being weak, clingy, and needy is not as morally wrong as being DISHONEST. a cheater, scammer, liar, abandoner.

because im using mens morality not womens morality hahahahaha. for a MAN, YES it is pretty bad to be weak. or dishonest. for a WOMAN, for a MAN to be weak is the worst thing ever, and for a woman to be dishonest doesnt really matter. women get to get away with being CHILDREN.

i guess i also resent that too: men have to be RESPONSIBLE, women DONT. COME ON.

if i have to be responsible, i want muh women to be responsible too.

i struggle bigly with being responsible, but i know being responsible is the right thing to do.

whitesville west virgina, think i will move there hahahahahaha.

there were yellow flags and red flags with that woman, for example some silly stuff she believed…..but EVERY woman believes some silly stuff and has some yellow flags in that way. just be grateful she hasnt been with 60000 guys red flag. besides you can probably mold her towards less silly beliefs and make her a white warrioress bearing you many little white warriors. what could be better. and then when that woman leaves you like a ghost, you are devastated for at LEAST 2 years. it all makes sense.

hey. i KNOW i was important to her for a WHILE. like she genuinely liked me as a person, liked seeing me, liked spending time with me, i could TELL she wasnt FAKING it. so i guess i just wanted her to SHOW ANY of that at the end. like i’m sorry, i know this HURTS, sorry, i dont mean to throw you away like a piece of garbage because thats NOW how I think of you. you really DID mean something important to me, i just couldnt Do Those Feelings.

that’s all i was looking for hahaha. dont be SO goddamn destructive. try to apply a little soothing balm as you rain down fire and napalm and nukes. make any effort to at least do that.

dont let a woman name your children, they end up picking a STUPIDASS name like brooklyn or something. no. brooklyn is the name of a city, not a person. be a man and name your child something traditional and good like michael or mary or anne or elizabeth or john or james or richard or donald or adolf hahahahahaha. it’s not complicated. it’s not difficult.

how can you give birth to children but not know how to name them hahahaha. how can you give birth to children but also murder them and be horrible at raising them? why can’t men just get pregnant. they would probably do it better than women. we dont need women at all. women are a net loss hahahaha. just use women as brood mares, locked away from productive male society.  they grow children, give birth, and absolultely nothing else.

so what do you do with girls. you cant ABORT them because ABORTION IS MURDER.

yeah but women just arent WORTH as much as men hahahaha. they are LITERALLY inferior. their lives don’t MATTER as much hahahahahahaha.

no i am jk of course. but you see the slippery slope.

but really i mean come on. these women. they gotta start adding value. not just coasting on this being the bearers of children bullshit hahahahaha. actually be a worthwhile PERSON hahahaha.

JEALOUSY IS NATURAL AND NORMAL. Women will never understand this. they think jealousy is always bad and means they should dump you and that youre abusive and a horrible person and you should work to get rid of all jealous.

NO. JEALOUSY is a GOOD thing, because it WARNS you of BAD things: that the mother of your children is CHEATING on you.

Now, some people might be Overly Paranoid, and that’s not good, but if your GF is spending lots of time with her Male Friends, then YES you SHOULD get jealous! instead the women bitch about their jealous bf and then end up dumping him and getting with their male friends. because their ex bf had no good reason to be jealous then hahahahahaha.

i want terribly to sm0ke mj, but i dont want to be around st0ners, hang out with these degen idiots. i just want a big bag of mj all to myself, so that i can get blazed alone, in peace. no people around. that woman would have been the exception. i liked being around her, she didnt like being around me at the end. i was desperate to hang out with her and sm0ke mj with her, had a FANTASY of hanging out with her, smoking mj, cuddling, making out, her being nice and sweet to me, etc.

but i am also happy just sm0king weed by myself, other people make me nervous. just be by myself and listen to music or maybe exercise or something.

meh i dont care if emily youcis is a huge race traitor wh0re, she has done enough and put herself far enough out there that it pretty much cancels any past degeneracy. she has made real sacrifices and done real penance. she wouldnt do what she’s doing now if she wanted to go back to fooking blacks. she has woken up and changed. god for her.

i have no proof that she was fooking LOTS of blacks, but i assume that as an artsy, punk, drinking, MJ smoking, urban young gurl, singing in a punk band dressed like a hooker, foul mouth, yeah i mean i’m not NAIVE hahahahahaha.  she CLEARLY has a PAST.

but thru Becoming Who You Are, you can be Redeemed from any sin! its really kinda like accepting Christ as your personal saviour! but probably even better! with a lower Recidivism rate is what I’m saying. meaning lots of sluts will turn to Jeebus but still be gold digging, treacherous sluts at heart. maybe eventually destroy their beta cuck husband. but when a woman goes 1488 like this…..it would be really hard for her to turn back after that. i mean i guess sinead could, but she has no credibility anyway. a newcomer like emily youcis has more credibility that sinead, who has done nothing but attack good people. its very disappointing. she could have done a lot of good.

richard spencer is trying to hire one person for 12.5k a year hahahahaha. that’s about as much as Im making right now. and he wants this guy andrew joyce who probably is a good writer and has a graduate degree hahahahaha.

my point is, i simply couldnt just waltz in and get a 20k Alt Right Job, because there ARE no Alt Right Jobs! The one alt right job there is pays 12k a year and wants qualifications i dont have!

again, you would LITERALLY be a LOT better off taking calls in a tech support call center.  good god.

anyway i think it would be better if someone like emily said yeah i fooked negroes in the past, i am disgusted with this and would never do it again, rather than sinead avoiding talking about it, when she gets accused of being a mudshark all the time, and she probably was, but just wont address the issue. just say you did it, say you’re ashamed, say you understand your mistake, learned from it, and became a better person! we will forgive you! were not monsters!

not that theres been any mudslinging on emily. the alt right has been very gentlemanly to her and she hasnt done any sketchy shit either.

well she was just on the david duke show today, which is a good show, i just dont listen to it super often hahahaha. but he just had richard spencer on a few days ago, and he has andrew anglin on regularly. i have been down with david duke for YEARS. i dont like the plastic surgeries and the rumors of degeneracy, but the stuff he says is so solid, and I was glad he ran for senate, and is talking to the right people. keeps in touch with the young kids in the alt right. WN 2.0 hahahahaha.

i have listened to at least 20 episodes of his radio show hahaha and listened to at least 60% of the audiobook of “my awakening”, can heartily recommend. great book. great info on the JQ which I got in 2012 or 2013. Duke has been around for DECADES, before there WAS an alt right, and the best thing out there was mgtow. yikes. dark days. then you found stormfront and said, hmmm i think these guys are onto something, but theres gotta be a better way of doing this. this guy david duke is pretty solid, why arent there more people developing this line of thought? and now there ARE.

heh. i am an oldfag, back when i was getting into shit, MGTOW and MRA was the EDGIEST shit the internet had to offer. besides stormfront hahahaha. and i read a little bit of stormfront too.

but yeah boy am i glad the alt right happened, MGTOW was a damn dead end.

dec 29

so yeah. while I USED to identify as a MGTOW, i did have serious problems with it as I accepted my pretty natural desire to have a Wife and Children, to have a traditional monogamous white relship. pretty quickly i realized how jooish and unnatural it was for men and women to be at war with each other, to be enemies. this wasnt all womens fault. there was a more insidious force at work.

the family life was shitloads better than the mgtow single life. i couldnt believe how so many mgtows could not figure this out and were still either talking about how to bang sluts, or how to build robot women.

tarek and christina split. i bet it was her that is At Fault. To Blame. I never liked her hahahaha. i liked him a lot better even though he is half arab. plus he doesnt look or act semitic at all.  and their chidren were adorable. i bet she dumped him and he begged her to stay and make an effort to work it out baybeeeeee and now she is fooking new guys, probably WAYYYYY more nonwhite looking and acting than tarek.

right after he had that Cancer Scare! What a Horrible Bitch! but he seems too nice and she probably needs a man who can absolutely DOMINATE, if not abuse her. she would be more down for a more dominant arab man. tarek RESPECTS women too much. many women dont want to be RESPECTED hehehehe. then they go on reddit and tell women everything is abuse, loveisrespect.org. nope. you respect a woman, she will leave you for pedestalizing her. OR do something so horrible and disgusting to teach you a lesson about Pedestalizing. Take me off the pedestal! I’m gonna fook 10000000 negros right now!

going to buy new glasses. it is the biggest jooish ripoff since going to the dentist. going to the doctor hahahaha. go into these glasses places and they are full of Shark Women doing sleazy salesmen shit. absolutely disgusting. women shouldn’t be doing this. shit men shouldnt be doing this. no business should be run like an obvious jooish scam. capitalism doesn’t have to be so jooish and disgusting ahahahaha. purge the bergs and steins hahahaha.

americas best is the WORST. if it says 2 pairs of glasses for 70 bucks……..sheeeeeit. don’t tell me that 2 pairs of glasses for me is going to be 210 bucks. that is THREE TIMES MOAR. if someone comes in asking about the 2 for 70, do you really think they have a huge budget to buy the top shelf glasses and lenses? and us rubes don’t know that frames and lenses are two different things. 2 frames for 70 is bullshit when its like 140 for two sets of LENSES.

i would ask them, what are you looking to spend, 100 dollars, ok, well for that you can get this, for a teensy bit more you can get this, then you prob wont want to go much hgiher than that!

no frills, no add ons, no extras, no upselling, just bottom shelf, bargain basement, basic bitch everything.

2 pairs of glasses, out the door, with lenses, for 70 bucks. that is what i want. i don’t care about polycarbonate, or scratch protection (well, sorta i do), or antiglare coating, or transition lenses hehehehe. maybe if i had vision insurance, which only the top 1% do hahahahaha. or people like muh baby boomer family hehehe.

i thought getting a glasses shop job would be pretty chill, but after going to a few of these places, i can see that it would not be. on dec 29 the places were packed with people. maybe thats just normal for the holidays.

bitcoin falling finally.

GENTLY signalled interest in the MJ with the one person i can conceivably talk to about this. i thought he might have not registered the idea that next time he wants to go in, i’d like him to tell me so i can go in with him. he is generally good at reading signals but i still wasnt sure, besides, i am terrible at communicating stuff like this. and he is abstaining for the medium term for very legit reasons. but yeah yesterday i made it clear that when you decide to stop abstaining, please let me know ASAP. he clearly understood what I was saying. so that is good. Now I know not to be PUSHY.

in other words, ive done all i could there.

but yeah i was like damn how could i ever do what these women do. lie to people to sell them glasses. they deliberately make shit confusing and complicated to Upsell and Add On Shit, and have horribly misleading advertising. i hate this jooish shit and i hate that white women are stuck working in these jobs. i’d be like listen, you want the lowest price, i get it, well then you have to get this. i SHOULD HAVE studied the website for americas best before walking in there, just so i could tell them the things i DIDNT want.

well i ended up finding a pair for 70 dollars, including both frames AND lenses. that seemed reasonable to me. so just said ok ill take it. wanted to get out of there anyway. fookin glasses. the place was huge, had a ton of employees, and a ton of customers, and i thought, really, glasses? such big business? doesnt everybody have lasik or contacts?

i dont like honestly not terribly smart white women acting like jooish snake oil salesman. youre obviously tyring to confuse me with glasses jargon. dont do that. i should have taken 5 minutes to study glasses jargon before i left. but i shouldnt HAVE to in a nice huhwhyte country is what im saying. i guess i didnt realize the glasses industry was so thoroghly jood. i shouldnt be surprised though. health care, hospitals, doctors, dentists, medical, insurance, its all fooked and jooed. which is sad.

and when MJ is legal that will be jood too hahahaha.

tensions with israel at the moment. UN snubbing israel and obama/kerry saying yeah we snub israel too. trvmp saying just you wait bibi, just 3 more weeks and then me, your best buddy, me, will be in office, and you wont get this terrible treatment from the US. this was always gonna be the black pill about trvmp, was his super friendliness to israel, i guess we were just gonna not think about it until it was time to think about it. which is now nigh.

i mean i guess i support a state for joos as long as they get the damn joos out of the US. out of our media and culture and govt and business and education and everything. absolutely never gonna happen.

square pegs. mid 80s teen sitcom with teenage sarah jessica parker. she was a QT when she was young, fook this horse face nonsense! but it just never suits a woman to be a 40+ year old slut, so she brought that shame on herself!

i think she is jooish. doesnt stop 20 year old jooish gurls from being qt.

yeah i believe in REDEMPTION. and if i believe in redemption for myself, which i would LIKE to, then i have to believe in redemption for other people. namely, women, sluts, degenerates. if i can do it, they can do it. if they can do it, i can do it. and i like reading stories of actual redemption.

i dont think sinead is stupid. in fact i think she is attractive and its tech good she has a baby. she sometimes comes VERY CLOSE to making good points, and then totally crashes and burns, or attacks somebody great like millennial woes. so she is very frustrating and disappointing, because she has great potential. and of course she could be redeemed too. but my god she HATES the alt right. she views it as a totally gay compromised thing. calls it the alt k1k3.  i guess i should be happy that in 2016 there are qt white women who are ok on the JQ and not afraid to use the K word hahahaha. didnt have this even 4 years ago.

but yeah if kyle is her lover she should identify as his wife, and be like, im taken by my one man kyle, and he is the father of my baby. i luv him and will be loyal to him. and not have any ambivalence there.

so in short i dont trust her at all. i trust emily Y more than her.

wow what an insensitive cvnt. and she wants sympathy from reddit. i hope they crucify her hahaha. if she worked halg the day that her husbando worked, she’d be EXHAUSTED too. but now she wants to dump him because his job is exhausting him and she is annoyed by him being exhausted all the time. what a fooking bitch. he needs a woman who can have s ome damn sympathy for him.

basically with /relships, i upvote men and downvote women. and men who talk like women. women have nothing smart or good to say about relships. they have no idea how to have relships with men.

i think if i went into americas best and said listen. i see your sign for 2 for 69.95. that’s basically the type of value i want. I want the SHITTIES lenses AND the shittiest, cheapest frames, for less than 100 bucks TOTAL, out the DOOR. frames AND lenses, under 100 TOTAL. no deals, no add ons, no extras, no 2 pairs. no scratch protection, no anything protection, i am looking for the equivalent of no-fault shitty auto insurance. i would like to buy nicer glasses but i cant afford them.

reddit is gonna say there is nothing wrong with the sister being in JOOISH PORN and the man needs to GROW UP and GET OVER IT.

now i dont think you should be quick to pull the DEFOO trigger, and always be open to forgive and allow your family the chance to repent and redeem themselves…..but the sister is not moving in that direction at ALL, in fact, she is doubling down on the PORN. so the brother is RIGHT to be DEVASTATED and depressed about this. shit what if his WIFE decided this was an ok thing to do?

i was watching andy griffith and gomer pyle USMC and i was like, these quaint shows of a better time. that gomer pyle is a likable idiot. seeing that this stuff is STILL made by joos when you watch the crrrrrredits.

or this show “Square pegs”, which i had never heard of, but seemed pretty entertaining and well-written and funny. yep moar joos. which is not surprsing as this was the 80s. but joos in the 80s and esp the 60s didnt seem so god damn JOOISH as they do now. well except for that sneaky sneaky joo norman lear. i mean i used to watch all in the family regularly, and like the character archie bunker. i still kinda do!!!!

but yeah being JQ aware really helps you with shit like that. and reading between the lines to see this is more than just a good show. its more of a subversive and offensive show than you realize. you’re not SUPPOSED to……well i cant even say that youre not supposed to like archie. he’s the main damn character. i think you ARE supposed to like him, and realize YOU are just as horrible of a racist goy as he is, and then learn Lessons Of Tolerance just as Archie does. but archie truly says some hilarious shit. him and his wife edith are both great. and shitlib son in law meathead. total shitlib sjw leftist commie.

i WISH the show were written by alt right SHITLORDS rather than SJW Joos! honestly the alt right could bring the show back in this way, that’s a great idea. would be even kooler than a blatantly alt right king of the hill.

on the fatherland, muh boy no1 suggests that million dollar extreme/sam hyde is basically Entertainment/Comedy for Goys By Goys, comedy stripped of any horrible jooish influence. i mean i hope it is! we need our own CULTURE, stuff like music, movies, tv, stories. not just implicitly cool stuff like christopher nolan or something, but something that comes right out and says, this is who we are. we are not J’s. this work is 100% free from jooish influence. i would love that. cuz you can’t GET that in mainstream ANYTHING.

this is another benefit of black metal hahaha. it is very free of jooish influence. maybe thats why i like it so much hahahaha. was such a big boortzum fan for so long hahaha. really liking this saor/fuath hahahaha.

well because its impossible to make a tv show or movie without a bunch of Js getting involved. I like more solitary pursuits, more of a Auteur approach hahahaha. one man’s singular, unadulterated, unjood vision. much more practical to accomplish with music or books. and i dont like books hahahaha. well auteur movies are a good attempt too.

and certainly self made youtube vids. or 1488 podcasts hahaha.

havent really watched lots of MDE. dont know anythign about the other guys in MDE other than sam hyde. i guess there is an mde book now. i mean i respect and trust no1 so his recommendation is as good as any.

george feels responded to me and said thank you. so that was nice. have no idea if he is gonna fix the thing that i said he might want to fix hehehehe. well i did my part. i might give him another dnation next xmas hahahahaha.

when i get to the position he’s in….wait a minute i am actually OLDER than him hahahaha. AND he has a better job than me.  so when HE gets to the point I am in now, THEN he should start going to hookers and smokin MJ which is freely available in his damn town. just walk into the store just as easily as buying a bottle of booze. and he Gets To Do That too. I’m not even allowed to drink booze any more hahahahaha.

this is kinda sad. of course i would say take the “dream job.”

He has very low self-esteem and has mentioned several times that he may be depressed. Until recently, he would rant to me over text (hundreds of texts) about his insecurities, that he feels like trash, and that there’s a lot of expectations and societal pressures on him because he’s a man. Multiple times he’s told me he wanted to end his life. When I tried comforting him and dissuading him from it, it backfired and he lashed out against me, saying that there is no way I can empathize with people like him in the slightest. In subsequent meltdowns, I held back on comforting him out of not knowing what to say, and he said I lacked a moral compass and that women like me are biologically wired to hate men like him.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. well i know how this guy feelz, but the fact that she HASNT left him yet, CARES enough to ask reddit. but yeah. ive felt that exact feel. women HATE loser men more than men hate sluts. and they will throw you away like garbage. thing is, she hasn’t thrown HIM away like garbage, and i think if she DID dump him, she would make an effort to do it in a decent way.

yep you will be a virgin for the next 10 years, just be thankful you can even GET a job. also try not to get arrested for drugs or alcohol hahahaha

oh thats fine, nothing wrong with fooking 12 guys by the age of 18 hahahahaha.  sex is a conditional, relative, gray area thing. sometimes its serious, and sometimes its just casual fun!!!!!! yay!!!!!!!!

BE ASHAMED OF YOUR SLUT PAST. tell your bf yes im ashamed of what i did and who i was, and that shame is gonna keep me from doing that shit again. yes it is digusting i agree. instead when you tell him im not ashamed at all, whats wrong with that? uhhh yeah youre saying i have no shame about being a shameful slut hahahahaha.

because who knows when they are gonna get bored with sex with YOU and go easily find it with any of their 6000000000000000 male friends.

they SHOULD be ashamed of their slut past. that is the BEST way to make your new bf OK with your slut past. NOT say, no, i’m not ashamed of that gross degen disgusting shit I did!

you SHOULD be ashamed of disgusting things you did! not continue to unrepentantly insist these things ARENT disgusting! damn!

what ELSE is she not ashamed by but SHOULD be? cheating?

best to be with somebody who shares your sexual MORALITY – that sex is not some Fun Game to be played with any Sexy Boi. of course its hard finding a woman with that sexual morality! and if you do, they will not like you back and will reject you VERY HARSHLY hahahaha.

sheeeeeit you know what, she was EMOTIONALLY CHEATING on her original boifran. she wanted to fix things with him, but she was EMOTIONALLY CHEATING on him anyway. by becoming friends with ME. yeah i didnt realize this at the time, and not until recently, and its safe to say she NEVER realized it! because she was emotionally retarded!!!

 

DAMN DIRTY NONNEVERGF NEVERGAPS

nov 15 2016

hmmmm interesting. received an HR authorization for background/reference check, mentioned “onboarding.” my poor, mistaken, confused judgment tells me they wouldnt do this unless they were planning to offer me the job. at large school, part time job, 25 hours a week, 11 dollars an hour. yeah kinda piss weak but i got excited nonetheless because its something and because i like the place. they wanted me to sign this pdf and to send copy of drivers license. i did.

so yeah what i CAN say is this is a GOOD SIGN which SUGGESTS an offer, and is definitely a step in the direction of an offer. uhhh lets say 50 50 hahahahaha.

and even though its a “piss weak” job, i got a surge of confidence thinking about actually getting the job.

i mean that would be a huge thing. even if its terrible pay, its good people and stress free. essentially i would be getting back to my sweet power level at age 26 hahahahahaha.

have a low stress job, work with some nice people i already KNOW, try to get rec letter and reference from Respected Leader, move into FT job at the skool ideally.

i mean i am fairly more ambitious and mature than i was at 26 hahahaha. now that i am living for the 14 words hahahaha.

heh. you say please confirm receipt and of course they dont. you have to “interpret the directives” of the shitty manager but you cant even deduce “please confirm receipt” means “send me an email back just saying yeah i got this.”

i was in a real similar situation when i got the previous job with the skool 7-8 years ago. coming off a long period of Unemp then, about 1.5 years, getting desperate, drinking, still a shitlib, i was not sending nearly as many apps, or nearly as many INTERVIEWS, cover letter was piss weak, in other words, i am putting forth a 6000000000000000000000 times stronger EFFORT now. trying a lot harder and getting rejected a LOT more. also for about 1.5 years, slightly less haha. 7 years older. getting desperate. and now i might get a similar job. at around the same time. last time it happened in november. this time it is shaping up to happen in november. very cyclical hahahaha.

well this time i would be a lot more assertive, and be like listen, i will give you 6 months to a year of the best work you have ever seen, but i need to get an FT job at this skool. period. i am a 35 year old man and i want to have a FAMILY.

now i may never have a family because im already too old and its too late. but wanting an FT job is legit because everyones gotta have one and i think most reasonable people understand that hahaha.

temporary, part time, midnight position. SIGN ME UP hahahahaha. prob for 11 dollars an hour. wow. at least i am not THAT desperate. this is at the hospital that always rejects me anyway.

anyway. it would be pretty ridiculous to get a job finally. back then, well i was a lot younger and dumber and more autistic. i mean i really HAVE improved a lot since age 26 hahahaha. got a stronger resume, cover letter, jobs document hahaha. got some hardcore working experience. got heart broken a couple times. didnt do any cuddling, making out, or fooking hahahaha. got dui and stopped drinking. most importantly, stopped being a pathetic shitlib and became a far right alt right white nationalist hahahahahaha.

but i had a realllllll shitty year and a half year, prob most challenging year of muh life.

i think at age 26 it was EASIER to get a job because i was at least 6 years younger, i looked younger, i guess people were more willing to give me a chance. i certainly did less than 10 interviews, and probably less than 100 applications. now its 28 interviews and 520 applications. just to get a part time job like i had before. convince people im not desperate and not overqualified but also THE PERFECT fit hahaha.

oh no, im not overqualified! im UNDERqualified! so hire me!

still no hard drive. well i need BOTH the hard drive AND the windows disc. that will probably come later.

shit i am REALLY getting my hopes up here. what if they cant get ahold of muh references? like my manager at latest place. he probably changed his phone number and deletes all emails related to me haha. no he was a nice, good, principled man…however i didnt want to take advantage of him by having 99000000000 people call him every day on my behalf when i left the company in a nervous wreck because of a WOMAN hahahahaha.

i might even have to go to a dr and get a tb test for this job. im sure they wont pay for that hahaha.

maybe i have tb and thats why i’ve been so low energy for the past 15 years hahahaha.

and what do i say to the people i know from a few years ago about how i left the company? well ill just say i was laid off. the department closed and everybody was laid off. which is TRUE. but i left BEFORE that. so ill just lie to them. its ok to lie to coworkers.

one woman would probably ask about That Woman, because she used to be a mutual coworker of me and that woman hahahaha. so my story for her is, yeah we dont really talk any more, we kinda grew apart. i dont know what she is doing but hope she is doing well! the end.

and thats it. then be the best worker, kiss ass, and give them several hours of free time each week. raelly impress the director, get him talking about himself, have him write me a letter of rec and also copy it to my linkedin page.

if anyone says, just get a masters degree, i will say, hey you pay for it, i’ll get it. hey, you GUARANTEE me a SPECIFIC JOB, and ill get it. CALL THEIR BLUFF. DRAIN THE SWAMP. NOBODY can GUARANTEE you a specific job in 2 years when you finish a degree. they might as well give you the job right NOW and then give you huge raises based on you progressing thru the degree. and ive never heard of one case of that ever happening to anybody.

i will get a masters degree in the 14 words hahahaha.

if i get the job then i will sack up and ask this guy i have in mind if he can get me some MJ because i know he Partakes occasionally. dont need it right now but if you are making a purchase in a month, 2 months, i will give you 100 bucks right now. then i can enjoy that, get used to the job, after 6 months or so, take a month and clear my system out, then start job search again hehehehe.

with some of the big names that i have tried for this time, but they rejected me PROBABLY because of the damn GAP.

so then i wouldnt HAVE a gap anymore and would have a much better chance of Getting A Job with them.

fookin GAPS man. they are the WORST hahahaha. they really are hahahaha. but they SHOULDNT be! its REALLY not the end of the world. but you get a gap and people treat you like a CHILD MOLESTER. jobs, women. get a gap and suddenly youre a neet nevergf.

its fookin STUPID. i would hire ONLY people with gaps hahahaha.

people with gaps are the best people ever. i dont TRUST these shady nevergaps.

damn dirty NONNEVERGF NEVERGAPS!!!!!!!!!!!

fooooook starting to get my hopes up like never before here, this is not good hahahah.

it is like when i first made out with woman2004, i was like uh oh guise ITS HABBENING i might be getting muh first ever gf here and she is qt as fook, might be becoming a nonnevergf normie chad here!!!!!

of course i didnt, although i did become a nonvirgin hahahahahahahahahahaha that fookin slut.

did you know that you dont need to be a congressman to get elected to speaker of the house hahahaha. they could choose you or me or andrew anglin or weev or skype enoch or sventh son. muh buddies. i am liking ghoul more and more too hahahaha. handsome man. should have many white children. im sure he’s no stranger to the ladies. normally i dont trust nonnevergf nonvirgin chad normies……but the 1488 ones i am ok with hahahaha.

im honestly not THAT weird famalam, but this GAP has CRUSHED my confidence, as has The Major Setback I went through. losing the job, and losing That Woman in such a terrible soul crushing way. followed by a 16 months of despair and gap. it CRUSHES your confidence!!!!!!! i hope you never have to go through it, unless you are a shitlib degenerate!!!!!!! its enough to CONVERT you! FLIP you!

well i was ALREADY flipped! I was already converted to the Church of GAWWWWDDDDD and 1488!!! WHAT MORE DUES DO I HAVE TO PAY????!!!?!!?!!?!

i also lost a ton of weight!!!!!! went from overweight to perfectly normie/healthy!

i applied for 520 jobs and did 28 interviews!!!!!!!!

i started going to the gym, i got 2 new Fitted Suits!

i wrote 14888888888888888888888888888888888888 pages of stuff, i voted for god emperor trump. leonard cohen died. i never talked to that woman once. i havent sent her an email or ANYTHING in 15 months.

2:38 pm : just got email officially Welcoming Me On Board. oh THANK GOD. wow. cant believe it. this is a bigger deal than TRUMP WINNING.

2:38 pm, november 15, 2016, the minute muh life changed hehehehe.

yeah i mean its ONLY 11 bucks an hour and ONLY 25 hours a week and ONLY  275 dollars aweek and ONLY 13750 a year……but thats 13750 more than i made in the past 16 months.

plus its PROBABLY going to be low stress, its DEFINITELY going to be Fairly Lesser Stress than previous job, AND I know at least 2,3 people there, AND everybody seems nice or is CONFIRMED nice.

ok tomorrow i will go to medical place, get physical and tb test, then go to HR, drop off all the forms, and email or call the actual department and let them know. maybe get a haircut too. get some pants altered haha.

i dont want to doubt myself! and hold back from doing shit. just be active and DO shit, right or wrong hahahaha.

the director emailed me. then i called him, left voicemail. was debating whether or not to call him. I left a voicemail telling him I planned to do the HR stuff tomorrow and that i would be very open to starting before the date given, which gives more than enough time to do muh TB test. well maybe. maybe it takes 2-3 weeks to do a TB test hahaha.

funny, on the form it said “NO DRUG TEST” hahahaha. NO DRUG TEST. they didnt drug test me last time i was hired here 8 years ago, but they didnt require the TB test then either. well either way i dont have to pay for it hahahaha. good.

so i left him a voicemail, and also replied to the email.

printed out all the shit and signed it that i need to give to hr.

maybe if i show up on the first day with a short beard then they will let me have a short beard hahahahahahahahah i mean it helps me feel masculine.

well i felt nervous about calling him because i always feel nervous talking to people, managers, or customers hahaha. good thing i didnt talk about that in the interview.

i dunno i have to thank GOD for this achievement. thank GOD and thank my FAMILY for putting up with me and allowing me to live. and that GOD for giving me enough persistence to do 27 interviews and 520 applications over 232 days of struggle. 7.7 months. 181 hours.

i was 30% over my initial estimate of 400.

13.95 minutes average application time.

89.2 minutes average interview time, including prep time but not driving hahaha. yeah that should really be a little longer no?

so yeah. THANK GOD if i have not said that enough. The Larpagans will scoff at that but I know my role in the world. to be wriggling, subservient vermin with no power of my own, so everything i “accomplish”, I owe it all to THE LORD hehehehehe.

hey im not too proud to BEG is all I’m saying. Ive begged before and Im sure I will beg again, but lately ive kinda got tired of begging. but what else can you DO but beg? NOTHING!

hehehehe.

THANK GOD.

I mean I dont want to die and then GOD can accuse me of not being thankful when a good thing happened.

 

THE MOTHER OF ALL NEGATIVE THOUGHTS

aug 23

sheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeit. had a dream with small part from this tall qt young girl we used to work with. when she first came on, i was like, this girl is like a better version of that woman. prettier, younger, i should focus on her, to try to forget about that woman. who knows if she were nicer, but that woman had stopped being nice to me anyway. she seemed a LITTLE bitchy and obnoxious.

anyway the point is, ANY woman can be nice to you if they WANT, AND if a qt young woman is being NICE to you, you will forget about the other woman who was nice to you once and you cant seem to get over. its not hard or rare to be nice. they just have to be WILLING to be nice. which for me is pretty rare hahahaha.

anyway i think in the dream i was trying to muster up the courage to sit next to the qt gurl and start talking to her confidently. see if she was willing to be nice to me or a huge bitch hahahaha. ultimately i never did. well at least THAT WOMAN wasnt in the dream. and it made the point that I COULD get over her and move on from her and feel something for another woman some day, the main things is that they are young and pretty, and that they are being NICE to me. shit even a slut mudshark could get me to like her that way. an attractive woman being NICE to you goes a LONNNNNNNNNNNGGGGGGGGGGGGG way. you wouldnt even believe it. but believe me. it is a VERY powerful thing that will quickly melt your heart of ice.

and yeah it does help a lot when you find the woman attractive. vs, i dunno, do i want to settle for this possibly-unacceptable level of attractiveness, she’s not very attractive at all.

yeah i really wanted to KNOCK IT OUT OF THE PARK on the tech job interview yesterday, but I did not. I mean i didnt do super horrible, i did about average considering, but i wish they had an hour instead of 45 minutes. cuz i was rushing through every answer, couldnt quite think straight, def lost some confidence and it showed.

well they were only interviewing 3 people not 10 people, so i have a better chance, right?

is the county that busy they have to rush interviews as quickly as possible? i dont think so. my prev employer was that busy. because we were SLAMMED all day every day and kept things LEAN. now the university i really want to get into, they had hourlong plus interviews. somewhat relaxed, or least the idea they could take as long as they wanted to interview someone, and let them talk.

i dunno, just so much that doesnt make sense, doesnt add up, and you will never make sense or get your closure, and you have to accept that some things will never make sense. just let it go.

yeah but when its your JOB to make SENSE of shit….. well do you REALLY need ot make actual sense of it, or can you just BULLSHIT something to your customer or to your Team Leader. mm hmmm.

so yeah i did not knock it out of the park. also i was just caught off guard by that weird aborted interview earlier in the day.

i mean how would a normie handle that? heh normies dont even get into these situations because they are HAVES who HAVE jobs, HAVE been gainfully employed for years, HAVE a wife who gives them some effort and loyalty. hehehehe. she might bitch and nag but she hasnt LEFT them yet.

you might hate it when she bitches and NAGS and is not nice to you…..but how would you react if she just LEFT you without a word and you never heard from her again?

be happy when she nags you because it means shes not willing to LEAVE you….yet hahahahahahahaha. oh this is horrible woman worshipping white knighting. better man up guys! be THANKFUL your wife is JUST a nag!

no the woman SHOULD be MATURE about it and realize nagging never works, its passive aggressive immature bullshit…..but there you have the unrealistic expectation that a woman should be an adult, specifically should handle conflict in a rel like an adult. this is like asking uncle adi to luv the joos hahahaha. like asking ME to luv joos hahahaha. not gonna happen. i hope it never happens hahahaha.  like asking a crusader to luv the muslim swine trying to invade his europe and rape his european women.  of course thats exactly whats happening now. but these weak pathetic feminized men are not CRUSADERS in any sense! they are literal CUCKS!

unlike a REAL cuck, i never liked being cucked, or even the suggestion of. it always made me fly into a Righteous Rage, and this is the proper response, so I’m glad I still have that.

this god damn office assistant job for the trucking company KEEPS getting posted every few weeks, open for a few days, get 400 more applications, it goes away for a few weeks, comes back and get 400 more applications…..its frustrating because i want to know what the fok they are DOING here.

maybe all the thousands of people applying are desperate and they are holding out for the Perfect Candidate. well they dont want a harvard grad, they want someone super young who is currently going to harvard. not gonna happen. so they want say maybe a second year undergrad at [local univ] who is doing a useful degree, getting 4.0, is 19 or 20 years old, has VERY good people skills, is VERY attractive, but prob want a smart man who will actually get stuff done, was an eagle scout, probably the type of go getters who go to naval academy or west point, ok how about they are big at ROTC at local university then, cuz again, if they are west point, they cant work here.

so that would be their perfect candidate then: a 20 year old halfwhite attractive tall male, eagle scout, honors student at local university, ROTC, business and or engineering, very charismatic and confident and mature.

i have sent in 2 or 3 applications to this company for this job or jobs very much like it.

maybe they have a database so they can see how many times a person applied. and if you get to like 10 or 20, then you get an interview. assuming you are not the perfect candidate described above. they havent found him yet, otherwise they would fill the position and stop posting.

or maybe they fill it, and the job is so stupid, the person quits. or is fired. and they have to hire someone again. but why not just go back to the pool of 1000 applicants? because its worth it to spend the time accepting 1000 NEW applicants so you can Cultivate the strongest pool ever? why do they NEED MOAR APPLICANTS when they aleady have like 2000????!?!?!?!?!!??!?!

it will never make sense, dont try to make sense out of it, dont get angry hahahahaha.

go for powerwalk in peak sun today, call chemical testing guy when i get back. maybe my Market Value is good enough for one call, but certainly not Phone Tag.

i mean why not just email me? I’ve had interviews set up via email, no one ever talked to me for even 1 minute.

my resume has had my correct email on it for like 10 years hahahaha. he has my email.

maybe when i send in my shit for the third time for this trucking company, which i think is a subsidiary of a very shady local trucking company that has a reputation for horrible service and very unhappy customers and is probably just a front for money laundering hahahahaha. anyway i will do something disruptive with muh cover letter and really make it jump out at them and show what a value add i am, than my usual form cover letter that its obvious i am using to apply to 500 jobs. but seriously, i modify each cover letter with statements referring to the company’s mission and vision hahaha. i really do. i look up the mission and vision statement and use some marketingspeak taken from the company’s own website. i am PASSIONATE about serving the LTL Logistics needs of your clients and being on the leading edge etc.

i would say most normies go through 5 to 10 interviews before getting a decent job. they don’t know the pain of doing 20 to 30 interviews hehehehe. a more protracted, prolonged struggle. twice the rejection, twice the time.

heh imagine if i actually approached women the way i do job searching. at least with jobs i actually submit the shit and go on interviews. with women i dont even Women Search on OK cupid or whatever, go out on dates, and get rejected. i might actually have some success if i did!

called the guy from testing company again, voice mail again. i left voice message yesterday, giving him muh email address and Mobile phone number. i am not gonna leave him a second voice mail!

but yeah that stupid fake interview at the hospital, i guess that ended up really grinding my gears and discouraging me. like how could you be MORE insulting that continually rejecting me. oh. how about finally inviting me to an interview, and then essentially aborting the interview during the first question and saying i shouldnt apply to just anything because im desperate. god damn. what did they tell the black 19 year old gurl that talked like an unprivileged savage hahahaha.  well they probably said she was just perfect for this job.

i guess in order to make 11 dollars an hour i HAVE to go to walmart or mcd’s. because the places that have Boring, Stressless 11 dollar an hour part time jobs want a very specific kind of person.

so i think about that woman a lot, not as much as i used to thank god, but i know i SHOULDNT. but i cant help myself. i think about how shes doing, what shes doing with her life, not just because i was in luv with her, but because she was an actual part of my life. this comes from being friends for 3 years. then the person is GONE, and you cant help but miss them and think of them sometimes. i wonder what so and so is doing.

i am sure she has HAD to have had a few thoughts like that about me. and then what does she tell herself about that? probably something like Oh. Sigh. That was just pathetic. i guess i hope he’s doing well but he was at such a pathetic place in his life. hes got to really work on his career and not get so heartbroken over women. i mean shit hes 35 years old, he has to get a plan for his life to accomplish something. so sad. he was a nice guy but SO SAD.

well at least ive gotten over the idea that she hates me and thinks i betrayed her!!!!!

now she just goes AW. HOW SAD. SMH. nice guy, but SO SAD. So Pathetic. I hope for his sake he moves on. Ive moved on. Im doing well. he was a mess. i hope he gets the help he needs. I couldnt deal with that. he was a good friend but could you IMAGINE me and him DATING!! PSHAW! How could he GET such a ridiculous idea! what a sad, pathetic loser. sometimes you need to Let Go of those sorts of Negative People in your life.

WHAT A WAY TO BE REMEMBERED! WAY TO BE THAT GUY hahahaha.

i mean shit. if anyone deserves to be emotionally compromised its me. dont get SO emotional about someone LIKING you. just be like welp i dont return his feelings but its not the end of the world. people get feelings for each other. just like i had feelings for those other guys. it happens. its not so ridiculous or out of bounds. we were good friends and then i guess something in him changed. its pretty understandable and unsurprising.

i dunno maybe that IS what she ultimately thought. I’LL NEVER KNOW.

i might be sad and pathetic, but i dont want to be REMEMBERED LIKE THAT by people i used to be friends with. who got to know The Real Me and saw that I wasnt totally Sad and Pathetic, but a Good Person.

i had this female friend when i was younger and i never fell in luv with her, and she was always very nice to me, and she had genuine concern and whatnot for me, wanted me to find a nice woman who didnt leave me in the lurch. but i kept picking the wrong women, getting involved with the wrong women. i guess my picker is broken.

its only 50% broken at most though! soon after i picked another woman and my female friend said yeah she’s great, it would be SO CUTEEEEEEEE if you two got together, and i was like yeah see my pickers not broken, i can find a good solid woman whos not a crazy child, yes she would be great for me wouldnt she? and i indeed liked the woman and she was nice to me too, but we never got much of a chance to hang out because we never lived less than 70 miles away, then the woman moved like 500 miles away hahahaha.  if we ever lived in the same town, i would have DEFINITELY gone all in with her.

so yeah my picker is not totally fooked. indeed i still think i picked a good woman with that woman. i just had no idea she would disappoint me THIS bad.

anyway that previous female friend, she expressed concern that i was becoming a hateful neo nazi white supremist. So I Walked It Back and said naaaaahhhhh dont worry, this is just a phase, i dont hate anybody, dont worry about it, you know i investigate all this edgy transgressive shit, dont worry.  and then i went on becoming an even more avowed racist and nazi and huhwhyte supreemist hahaha, but essentially just didnt tell her about it hahahahaha. i figured it wasn’t worth losing friends over, and she was/is a great person, and i didn’t want to push her away for something she would never understand.

anyway i hope she is doing well. she was doing some kind of masters degree at a decent skool in a big important city. she will be just fine. i mean yeah i wish she’d get married already cuz she’s not getting any younger. but I remember when she was under 21! I could never date her because she has a pozzed jooish view of dating hahahaha. but we got along as friends very well believe it or not. at the time she was in a monogamous, fairly healthy relship with a man who eventually became a fairly good friend, a great guy, i got along with him really well and had quite the mancrush on him. i would be very happy if she had gotten married to him. he was a really cool guy. he was hilarious, ridiculously smart, great taste in music, really good guitar player and singer. i wish he hadnt done his phd in total marxism! he was not a phaggy feminine whiny shitlib at all. just a very kewl guy. i wish him nothing but the best. i hope he finds a nice white wife and has many brilliant white children. when you say phd at known leftist univ in jooish theory, you think of the worst type of person. but he was honestly the best type of person, and too GOOD to do what he’s doing. but at the time i was very impressed by the Intellectual Masturbation over foucault and deleuze and i dont fooking know. zizek and adorno and marcuse and pure frankfurt skool jooish trash. i knew nothing of the frankfurt skool at the time. i just liked hanging out with Real Intellectual Philosophers! but the people I knew were honestly good, great, moral people. in hindsight its disappointing they studied the degen shit they did. but they probably didnt realize it any better than i did.

applied for 6 jobs today but after like 6 days of no job apps, my numbers are DISMAL AND ABYSMAL.

anyway i will just try to forget i met with that woman on monday and had that weird, annoying abortion of an interview. just keep applying for jobs there. in fact i applied for one there today hahahaha.

my suit looks good now, but the white dress shirt is honestly a little bit BIG. maybe i am getting rejected now because the dress shirt is a little big. suits fine now, but now the shirt is fooked up hahahaha.

or maybe they can tell muh black dress shoes are 30 dollar pieces of plastic shit hahahahaha. and i am not wearing 500 dollar italian leather shoes.

maybe my plain black hanes socks are too boring hahahaha.

they are looking at my shoes and socks hahaha.

maybe i had a stray nose hair. maybe i need a haircut. i mean i am getting close to needing one. it has been 46 days. its all on muh days since spreadsheet hahahaha.

sheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeit.

372 days since i sent the last email to that woman!

yes i definitely AM making progress, i dont think about her NEARLY as much, well i still think about her every day, but the thoughts seem a lot more distant, faded, not as vivid. one day i will be all emotioned out regarding her. and if i met a nice young qt gurl right now who was being nice and friendly to me, that would definitely help me forget all about that woman.

“make women good again” is just an old title i had laying around. basically meaning women were ONCE good, and with proper masculine leadership, we can raise a new generation of good women. but you leave women to their own devices, and they turn not good. they need the guidance and influence of strong, good men to stay on the good path. otherwise its pandoras box is opened. road to ruin. men don’t decompose or dissolve or entropy or DEGENERATE as naturally as women do. they dont need as much constraint. its JUST THE WAY IT IS. ITS NATURE. Nature NEEDS weak childlike stupid immature women so they can get pregnant as quickly and as much as possible. period. accept it. you dont have to like it. but accept it or become a foreveralone loveless virgin.

why not make women GREAT again? because i dont even need great. i just want GOOD. GOOD is GOOD ENOUGH for me. just good moral adults. lets get to GOOD first before we even THINK about “great.”

aug 24

yeah it is kinda infuriating to see the same jobs, same company, same location, being posted over and over again. you think, yeah i remember this job because it seemed like a decent entry level job that i could actually see myself doing, so it jumped out at me and i marked it APPLYYYYYYYY and i applied for it asap. now, 3, 4 weeks later, its back. i apply again if i can. sometimes it says ive already applied for the job. i actually prefer this because it means they arent getting duplicate people. but its like how many fookin applications do you need to get for this fookin job….unless you dont really plan on hiring anybody in the near future. then posting shit like this is like a perfect waifu teasing you and leading you on. i just wanted muh 12 dollar an hour full time data entry job, 8 to 5, close to home, no weekends!

heh. i kinda want that woman to experience some of this frustration and failure and rejection. not be making decent money. yeah but its a shitty phone calls cust serv job. yeah but shes probably a level 2 by now and doesnt need to answer phones. she can just give shitty advice to the people who do have to answer phones. “idk figure it out but dont escalate it.” “idk do the same thing youve been doing over and over again and maybe it will work this time” no matter if its been an hour on the call.

besides some of the level 2s still had to make calls and fix the super confusing stuff and then talk to the people about it.

i mean she doesnt have the brains to fix super confusing shit! shes not THAT smart! why should SHE be making 16 dollars an hour hahaha. she only has an ASSOCIATES degree in a field just as useless as mine! and from a 600000000 times less prestigious skool! and yet she is 14888888 years younger than me and doing 90000000 times better than me! even though shes a cowardly immature idiot race traitor white trash MJ addict!!!!!!

the voice of butthurt hahahaha. virgin wizard neet butthurt. well you would prob be butthurt too, is my point.

well at least i seem to be losing weight again. i dont really NEED to though! i have to cut the calories down to an unhealthy 1100 a day hahahaha. its ridiculous because i LUV food and i LUV to eat.

but yeah. sheeeeeeit. monday should have been a good day with the two interviews but it really kinda sucked and both interviews sucked. my vril was compromised by the first weird interview, then i performed shitty in the second interview, where i really really wanted to dig deep and do super well, and i did not. i mean i didnt do super bad….but just doing average or ok is really MEDIOCRE and I wanted to be SUPER GOOD. not just average, because average is not gonna get that fairly awesome job. for that job, i would totally answer the phones 50% of the shift. maybe even 60%.

heh i really SHOULD start LIFTING. they say it really IS good for testosterone, confidence, and i need those things like i need the air i breathe. because i am at a deficit. i dont have Confidence Privilege. its not part of my Head Start that confident normies get hahahahaha.

heh. really my severe lack of confidence pretty much cancels out all the white privilege i have hahahaha. white, male, good family, all the opportunities in the world. my confidence and i guess energy level and will are just THAT weak.

sheeeeeeit. if that first interview would have gone better, then the second interview might have gone better. and the second interview was the one that REALLY MATTERED. this is why i dont like 2 interviews in 1 day hahahaha. i mean at least i can say i DID it, like a real bigboy, youre not a human being if you havent done 2 interviews in 1 day, but still. i fooked up the important one and i am not happy about that.

it wasnt even a specific mistake. it was just seeming nervous and on edge and coming from a position of WEAKNESS and DESPERATION. also i struggled to think of the most in depth case of PC troubleshooting I had done. i guess i could try to meditate on that.

well at least i have been good about not looking up that woman on linkedin. well she would SEE that I visited her profile. unless she has it on limited privacy. in which case i wouldnt see her name if she visited MY profile. not gonna lie, i kinda want her to visit my profile, because it would prove ot me that she is thinking about me. as i am thinking about her every damn day and cant stop.

yeah i think about her FREQUENTLY, but the INTENSITY is definitely lower. the vividness, the power. that is honestly a signif improvement.

so yeah its kinda creepy to think about her every day…..but ive thought about her every day since it happened and at least the thoughts are less awful, less intense, less vivid, less important, less severe. tbh that is great and i am thankful for the progress. but it will still be a while before i can go a whole day without thinking of her at all! at least another year!

went to dsw shoe store, they had some good stuff on the website, but at the actual store, it sucked balls. everything was too expensive and they didnt have the things i liked on the website. i left without wasting any money hehehehe. thankfully the sales people were not aggressive and sleazy. a combination of young kids and downsized middle aged white men with masters degrees from second tier schools and 20 years of experience at second tier companies hahaha.

no the employees were fine, the store was clean and everything, they just did not match up with the website very well. i was considering getting a pair of Plain Black Crocs but they had very few Crocs, and they were brown. come on.

well time to get back on the horse. but i am thinking its gonna be more like 25 interviews rather than 20 interview before i finally get a job hahaha. at 30 i officially start getting Discouraged hahaha.

thats what i should have said to the hospital people. no, i’m not desperate, i’m DISCOURAGED. theres a difference. Actually there isnt hahahahahaha. well yes there is: discouraged dont even apply to jobs or go on interviews. so yes i AM desperate. i am just trying not to use that word.

heh. i should have never left muh job in late 2013. but me and THAT WOMAN were talking alot about jobs and she could get us in at this ridic job. i said, welp, ive been here too long and i need to force myself to do something new, and this just fell into my lap, kinda a sign from GOD, might as well listen to GOD. and then i went with her to the new job and the new job sucked and my relship with her went down in flames and the job went down in flames and now i have been a big neet loser for over a year hahahaha and cant get another job.

if i had just stayed in my comfort zone, none of this horrible shit would have happened hahahahaha.

before everything went wrong with her though, i thought well this is good. she is helping me GROW and DEVELOP and get OUT of my comfort zone and actually DO something with my life. and it turned out to be a huge shit sandwich hahaha. i wish i hadnt done it. i could still be makin 11 grand a year at the old place hahahaha.

yet if the county job called me back and said you got the job, that would change my whole life. 180. i would go from neet loser to gainfully employed winner. i would go from being too shitty for a gurl like her, to being way too good for a piece o white trash like her. its stupid our stupid jobs have such power over our lives like that. and how we view ourselves, and how OTHERS view us too.  but thats just the way it is. you can get butthurt about it and be a neet virgin loser the rest of your life, or you can accept it, and work hard to become a white winner.

never buy an epson xp 200 printer, or probably any “reasonably priced” epson printer, becuase they will totally joo you with the ink cartridges.

  1. the cartridges dont print a lot. like maybe 200 pages for 1 black cart which is 13 dollars.
  2. they only print with epson brand, not store brand made to be copatible witn epson.
  3. if you run out of blue OR yellow OR cyan, you cant even print in Black Only. even if you have a full black cart.

fook epson, those joos.

trump is getting a lot of blowback and his approval rating is probably at or near its lowest, and the media is even suggesting that hillary will win by 9 points. times are tuff. dismal.

an official story on fox news tv on the alt right. jared taylor being approached by fox joos. and of course milo phaggopolis. jared taylor is all right but milo is cancer hahaha. anyway i guess this is what they are saying are the leaders of the alt right hahaha. well we all know NATT is the TRVE leader of the alt right hahahaha.  but supposedly shillary is supposed to make a speech soon directly talking about the alt right.

i mean this is basically My Movement. its what i identify as being a part of. i consume something TRS related mostly every day.

i dont mind being lumped in with jared (tho he needs to stop cucking for da joos) but i do not want to be lumped in with that degen subverter milo. into the OVEN he goes.

contacted about phone screen by company HR. turns out woman is 9-10 years younger than me and went to alma maters Main Rival where she is a True Fan. OOSH. these are the type of idiots i am supposed to be the manager of hahaha. now i am trying to kiss the ass of Children who went to the school that our school saw as Goofus to our Gallant! kissing the ass of Idiot Children so I can get a $12 to $16 dollar an hour job hahahahaha. she didnt have to do that because she had a better resume, including internships and study abroad, so she was able to start her career immediately after college like a good successful normie. clearly she didnt have any Emotional Problems hahahahahahahaha.

http://pastebin.com/wTMfXxcF

Make Up Your Mind — Am I Overqualified Or Underqualified? via @forbes http://www.forbes.com/sites/lizryan/2016/08/23/make-up-your-mind-am-i-overqualified-or-underqualified/#24a6060f62e7

possibly interesting “advice.” make sure you write them a BUSINESS PAIN LETTER!!!!! i forgot about PAIN POINTS!!!!!

what happens if you cant help any businesses pain points hahahahaha.

fookin pain points. kiss mah ass.

http://www.forbes.com/sites/lizryan/2016/08/09/five-red-flags-that-scream-dont-hire-this-person/2/#509dbd4b7a7a

heh yes she IS “AN HR PERSON” hahahaha. by god these women exist. the woman who just emailed me is definitely one. the one that emails me about county job and sits in at my county job interviews is definitely one. perky, bubbly women that like to be smart college grad young professionals. shit the county hr woman is SIX years OLDER than me and she still looks GOOD! she almost looks younger than ME!

they are usually in good shape. they are usually friendly and have high verbal intelligence. but I would not trust any of these women for ONE SECOND in a Relationship.

they seem like big sluts and catladies who could rationalize anything and eventually lose interest in all but the top 1% of alpha men, probably the Upper Managers and Directors they are working to Source Talent To.

they get bachelors degrees specifically in human resources or communications or Talent Acquisition or Organizational Studies.  sometimes even from rather respectable state schools. second tier schools as opposed to third tier toilets like….. McAllen City State University or something. East Kansas City University. not a tenth tier toilet like Phoenix or something, and really, perfectly fine normie schools which I should have gone to because I could have gotten a god damn full ride scholarship. but i thought, noooooo, i can get into the PRESTIGIOUS school. meanwhile MANY people who went to that “shitty” local university were i could have gotten a full ride, are MUCH MUCH MUCCHHHHHHH more successful than me. at a much younger age hahahaha.

lotta regrets. shoulda done a lot differently. cant believe i wasted at least 33% of my life so far hahahaha.

ok i think i may end up liking the other gris album a bit better, at least early on, than their 2013 album . that bass sound is just too much to handle right now. i need more prominent guitar. and thankfully their singer sounds about as good on this 2007 album too. want something a little more blatantly balck metaly.

and DONT FORGET their 2006 or 5 album “neurasthenie” or something when they were known as niflheim (not to be confused with nifelheim hahahaha)

although 2 hourlong albums in 2 years seems like a lot…..but then they took a 6 year break. i wonder what kind of shitty jobs these guys work hahahaha. do they have degenerate tattoos. do they do drugs or drink. do they cheat on their GFs. are they neet virgins who live with their moms like me hahahahahahahaha.

i was driving yesterday and looked in the rearview and there was a 50 year old white man driving with two dogs in the car and it really looked like he was Smokin a J

good god i folded but if i had stayed in i would have gotten QUADS. 88 hole cards, no 8’s on the flop, and then turn and river were 8 and 8. sheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeit.

anyway he was smokin a J and i got a good feeling from that. because he looked like a total normie and not a huge degenerate. if it were some black thug smoking a blunt, i would think DEGENERATE. GET OUT OF MUH TOWN. or some white trash covered in tattoos. but when it was a normie middle aged white guy, that was ok.

interesting reaction. so is MJ INHERENTLY degenerate? i mean its definitely risky. very few people can smoke it WITHOUT being degenerate. a lot of whites who do smoke it are degen. so i can really ADVOCATE it. except for myself. and for white winners. which i am not!!!!

also smokin it while driving is prob a bad idea. but so many Stoners do just that. smoke and drive all the damn time. I cant BELIEVE this doesnt cause ANY accidents. stoners that would be horrified at drinking and driving smoke and drive EVERY DAY.

IMHO this is wrong. i think it prob does impair your driving. of course i sm0ked and drove a decent number of times. because i was selfish and nihilistic and thought i was above the law and that i’d never get caught, just like i thought when driving DRUNK. and i drove DRUNK many times and eventually was caught. served me right. i shouldnt have driven SO drunk SO many times. but you know when you s0ke a ton of MJ and your heart is racing and it feels like you are running in a dream, quicksand, how can you possibly drive normally.

i mean yeah its probably BETTER for driving than being RAGING drunk. obviously a lot of that DUI stuff is revenue generation for the city and county. and the fines and sentences for DUI should be laxer like they were in the 70s hahahaha. and they should expunge that from your record at least.

hmmm should i go to this opeth show. last time i was going to see them was they were touring with katatonia for the heritage album. that album sucked but i like katatonia and it seemed a good idea to see both bands in this venue with some friends. we got there and it was SOLD OUT before we could get tickets. that was pretty disappointing. shit that was at least 5 years ago.

i never listened to the album they did after heritage but i hear it was a lot better. now they have this new album “sorceress” which isnt even OUT yet.

akerfeldt said some of the record was inspired by luv gone wrong, problems he had with women, but nothing in particular? i was hoping it was something in particular, like a bad breakup with his WIFE, the mother of his children. i know he got married like 10+ years ago and had some kids, but he could be divorced by now.  maybe he is a huge deadbeat and how the hell can he be a good father while touring all the time. but he doesnt tour all the time.  i dunno. i hope he’s not a deadbeat, for the sake of his children. i am sure he is not alt right or racially woke though.

but he is determined enough to make his music his career, and that is NOT easy. he does VERY well. he can support himself and his family.

but 99% of musicians are degenerates! i just want some reassurance that he is a good father, cuz thats all that matters. matters a lot more than any music hes made in the past 15 years hahahahahahaha.

now i remember when damnation came out in 2002 or 03. that was EXCITING. hahahaha.

or spine chilling moments on old albums like orchid or my arms your hearse. for a while i thought my arms your hearse was the best album ever. it is still a great album.

blackwater park. also a great album. no joke.

never did a PHONE interview before. maybe its a german thing. oh yeah its a german company that does tech stuff for cars. infotainment computers and shit. much better than the asians who do a similar thing.  i will work for whites but not yellows hahahaha. speaking of those yellows never called me back for a second interview! i was starting to warm up to the idea of that job.

it would be great to do shitty on the 15 minute phone interview and then never get invited in for an actual interview.

actually 15 minute phone interview, i can see how that could be very useful. you do get a better sense of the person when you are actually talking to them. well…..maybe. maybe. i mean…..do i do better on the phone or in person? i think for interviews…..well shit. when i was doing my old job, taking phone calls, in those circumstances, i would have rather talked to my callers face to face. then i felt they might be nicer to me. but when they are evaluating you for a job….well you want them to be nice too!

but at the same time, i feel the same information you can get from a 45 minute interview can be gotten from a 15 minute phone call. then you feel less pressure definitely.

where are all the fookin entry level 14 dollar and hour fulltime jobs? why does everything have to be a damn big important 40k or 50k job?

where are the ENTRY LEVEL jobs?

this job was described as kind of an entry level job.

fook. my confidence is just pretty low after that clusterfook of 2 bad interviews on one day.

and now i feel like i have crossed the rubicon, that i have officially been unemployed for SO LONG, that i am like CANCER to any employer. they might be able to overlook a gap of 3 months. maybe 6 months. but not a god damn YEAR.

well george feels’s dad got a job after THREE year gap. but he was a Medical Doctor in ukraine hahahaha. was he really a medical doctor tho? and why isnt george smoking legal MJ???

so i will be sitting there in the interview just thinking about THE GAP. talk about a confidence KILLER.

becomes a vicious circle. people wont hire you because the GAP is too long. then you go on interview after interview after interview. get hopes up, get discouraged. 15 interviews. 20 interviews. 25 interviews. 350 applications. 400 applications. 500 applications. 9 months. 12 months. 14 months. 16 months. see what i mean?

instead of getting hopeful, like yep keep plugging away and be determined and good things will happen, power thru those 25 interviews and you will get there eventually…….. those optimistic thoughts begin to be countered with

THE MOTHER OF ALL NEGATIVE THOUGHTS:

THE LONGER YOU STAY UNEMPLOYED, THE WORSE YOU LOOK TO EMPLOYERS.

The LESS of a chance you have to get a job. sure, persistence is good, but not good ENOUGH to cancel out the effect of TIME, the lengthening GAP, making your value WORSE and WORSE and WORSE.

well i guess the REAL mother of all negative thoughts is, i have to K self right now hahahahaha. thank GOD i dont get that.

For me, its more like

I CANT HANDLE THIS I NEED TO QUIT MUH JOB RIGHT NOW

hahahahahahahahahaha.

thats not as bad as k’ing yourself. but you do flush an ENTIRE FOOKING YEAR of you LIFE down the CRAPPER. gone with NOTHING to show for it.

well thats not true. i have done like 40 hours of work on this job search hahahaha.

CORRECTION: i have done 33 hours of job APPLYING fron july 1 to aug 24. that does NOT count time looking for jobs, which DOES take time which i have not measured, and does not measure the 230 jobs before i started The Spreadsheet. ok, thats 230 jobs times 12.6 minutes per application, div by 60 to get hours, well there’s 48.3 hours of applications, plus 33, sheeeit thts like 81 hours of applying since april. well, march 28 i really started. almost 5 months ago hehehehe. 5 months to get 81 hours? WEAK! should be 40 hours a week every week! 160 hours a month!

well im just buttmad that people in 1975 didnt have to put in 80 hours of jobsearching jsut to find an average job.

also lets count 17 hours for 17 interviews hehehehehe. and about 40 hours for FINDING the jobs. so really i am at 137 hours hehehehe.

REALLY I should time my sessions of FINDING the jobs. JUST FINDING, NOT applying. like do it in 30 minute chunks because it is worse than mind numbing, it is mind and soul destroying hahahahaha.