YOU DONT NEED TO FOOK 10 GUYS TO LEARN WHAT YOU DONT WANT

sept 12

ok. go to sears and MAYBE kohls to get t shirts.

go to jcpenney or sears for pants and shoes.

get wrangler khakis/chinos and wrangler jeans.

try to Hem your own Pant Legs at like 28 inches hahahahahahahhahaha manlet 4 lyfe.

i am not sure what exactly chinos means.

it would be really sad if the BEST woman I can find is one who is totally not into me.

i just hate how women GET OVER men so quickly. like in a few weeks tops, theyve already forgotten about you and are FOOKING other men.

i say its not REAL feelings unless it takes you at LEAST a YEAR of celibacy to get over the person.

of course i should go on okcupid and tinder and look for disgusting fatherless white trash whores to bang!!!!!! its been over a YEAR! you think a WOMAN would wait over a YEAR to start fooking new coch? fook no! in most cases they are taking new coch in a few WEEKS!!!!!

would this all be easier to deal with if i had some FWB slut? YES, PROBABLY!

yes that is degenerate, but look at the long term goal: better relations with women, more confidence with women, better chance at pulling GOOD women, and more confidence in the short term too!

who needs hookers when you have normie western sluts?

i mean it would SUCK if That Woman was the best woman I ever experienced. Technically Woman2012 was a better woman than her: lower n, and absolutely no relship experience, better family, much better father, generally conservative and moral minded, no MJ, etc.

heh there is a TRS forum user who actually lives in my exact town, and is a mid 40s woman. unbelievable. should i meet up with her and see if she is a MILF hahahahaha? i mean lets say she is in the LATER 40s.

yeah i would totally bang a milf but i wouldnt want to Mongo Date a Milf! want to date a 25 year old YOUNG woman and have CHILDREN!!!!!!

(not that 25 is super young, but its around the youngest I could pull realistically, and it was around the age That Woman was too. i mean she is getting older now of course hahahaha. )

also, rest assured that I would not DEFILE a woman who had not already been defiled. I would always used the Campsite Rule. Besides I know it’s all Muh Dick Ingra-ness and I dont want to go too far down that road. but I really do want some positive attention from women, to feel like I have something that is attractive to some women at least, and that i am at least desirable enough to Bang Sluts!!!!!!

but not a degen amount of sluts. just a few. less than average. average is TOO degen.

well this moron thinks she looks great obese so…..i was hoping she was “just” a bit overweight and he wanted her to lose some weight

update

ghghgh

she is by OP’s admission “much bigger” than mindy kaling, that fat streetshitter pig hahahaha. hahaha no mindy kaling isnt THAT fat, shes just super annoying and obnoxious.  yeah i would probably bang her too.

anyway i just want to emphasize that i knew shit was going downhill with that woman, but i did NOT expect the falling out to happen the way it did. I completely expected she would respond to communicate with me in some way, probably by bitching at me like i was the bad guy hahahahaha. i did NOT expect what happened AT ALL. was really caught off guard there.

ok time to listen to arcturus

we are all overly familiar with this album, well i only ever knew 2 or 3 songs off it, and I was looking for something with hellhammer’s drum playing where his drum sound was not all overproduced as fook and you could actually appreciate his skills as a very skillful human drummer. who does not look like a norwegian at all hahahahahaha.

i dont think mayhem is the best vehicle for him so im glad he plays in 9000000 other bands. im not sure what would be the best vehicle for him. i think he would have been a good match for emperor post-faust.

anyway maybe i jsut hate women. well i admitted i was in a women hating phase! i listend to that crusader girl and i didnt really like her. i dont want to be LECTURED to by some 17 year old twit hahahahaha. im old enough to be your father. dont bitch about your parents being “cucks”, i dont care if they are. and yeah it does sound unladylike when you swear. and yeah your voice sounds like a bitchy dumb 17 yo gurl.

then i listened to nationalist review wsg evalion and i had the same issues with HER. i dont like that cutesy wutesy kawaii type girly voice. but is this just NORMAL for 17 year old gurls?

they sound like CHILDREN!

but these children fook MEN in totally degen ways!!!

and it seems kinda perverted to fook gurls who seem like CHILDREN!

I never thought I’d hear ME say this, me who prefers Younger Women!

either way, i could not determine whether i just hate all women…..or these two alt right racist women had some quality about them which i did not like.

but that’s true! they just came across as dumb, obnoxious, annoying, rude, immature, and unlikable!!!!!!!!!!!

So is that what ALL WOMEN are like?

And no i dont think these traits are associated with racist alt right women, just rather just with young, immature, possibly crazy, narcissistic women.

That Woman did not annoy me like that. She had a somewhat squeaky voice but it sounded nice and she didnt have that annoying Vocal Fry which 50% of women have and makes them sound like idiot sluts.

so do women in general just trigger me? maybe. that i cant even stand to hear them talk without getting triggered and annoyed?

Well I listen to real life women talking pretty much every week and it doesnt really TRIGGER me!!!!

ok nicolas cage has a son named weston who was the singer of a black metal band called “eyes of noctum” where hellhammer played drums on their album hahahahahahaha

i dunno. when i went on my big social thing last week there was a lot of women there and i got kinda annoyed at the obnoxious things they said and though JEEZ thank GOD Im not married to THEM! I wouldnt want to be!

then they later said things or I had a small talk with them and I was like, well, they’re really not that bad after all. so, its really hard to tell when you are not actually talking to the women. in other words, if i were to actually talk to evalion or crusader girl grace, i might actually like them moar. but i am not going to be talking to them in person anytime soon!

also, men don’t  really need you to do that.

took one half a dose of nyquil. i determined that full dose is just too much, simply because you are sluggish for 24 fookin hours. so i figure half dose, 12 hours, that should be good enough.

so yeah. i dunno these girls just dont seem really NICE. I want a gurl to be NICE and these gurls seem bitchy. thats really all there is too it. they seem bitchy and narcissistic. i am a total narcissist, but i will tell you straight up, and also i know its bad.

also anyone who puts their face out their on the internet and sayd 1488 heil hitler gtkrwn, ummmmmm that is a signal about their level of cautiousness. I prefer women who are more cautious rather than less cautious. what ELSE is she not being CAUTIOUS about?

its GOOD for women to be CAUTIOUS!!!! err on the side of caution!!!!!!

most men who get into 1488 show caution!!!!!!

BE CAUTIOUS ABOUT SHOWING YOUR FACE!!!!!

I have listened to HOURS of men talking, but I have never seen their faces, and I am very ok with that! Fatherland Jim and Bradan, 7th Son, K1ke Enoch, No1 Ryan. I want them to hide their faces so they can provide for their families. people who show their faces are usually a little bit more of a LOOSE CANNON.

unless they are like anglin or weev, who i think have earned the privilege to show their faces. or Woes.

But Evalion or Crusader Gurl are NOTHINGGGGGG like Anglin, Weev, or Woes!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

George Feels shows his face……..but he doesnt talk about 1488. I think he is sympathetic to the Alt Right, tho. but he’ll never talk about 1488 and i don’t expect him too.

so, in short, I think there is a personality thing about THESE WOMEN that I don’t like…….not some kind of blanket hate I have for All Women, always.

spet 13

ok gotta get with the program here. honestly. got to get back on the horse and jobsearching. got to get to 500 jobs, 25 interviews.

it doesnt matter if i hate all women. even total woman haters need to get jobs hahahahaha.

also, i was kind of a woman hater when i became friends with her. i was joking, yeah i am a total woman hater, i dont usually get along with women this well, so you must be special. i wasnt entirely joking! but the women i get along with dont believe such a NICE GUY like me can be a woman hater hahahahaha.

ok. so what would make me satisfied for today re job apps. 5? 10?  theoretically, if i cant do like 32 apps a day, then i am totally worthless bum.  sheeeeeeeit i think my max is 8.

ok lets aim for 4.

ok got the 400th job in. i think i was scared of this auspicious number. so i blew it on an inauspicious job, a 13 dollar data entry job for durable medical equipment benefits management company hehehehehe. that prob wont call me hahaha.

ok. 3 more.

slavros the founder of iron march is an asian looking UZBEK? i cant even hahahahaha. i do not need this right now. well thats just want encyclopedia dramatica says. but just because i disagree wtih ED ideologically, does that mean they dont do accurate investigative reporting??!?!?!?!! so what if he IS an uzbek!

should i apply to a job at a J00ISH social services place? i mean it literally has the word J00ISH in its name. I am surprised they are located where they are located. I think this location serves mainly poor blacks hahahaha. do i really want to do this? but its super close by.

ok applied at the J))ISH place. OY VEY. that was the 401st. the 6,000,001st hahahahahaha. i mean i am gonna be a wagie for the K1KES anyway. slaving all day, white cattle for the K!KES.

some autists say that ABA therapy is “ABUSE” and cannot qualify that any further, in that smug tone like if you NEED it explained, youre a privileged white idiot. if you need it explained how you benefit from white privilege, you are part of the problem, not the solution. its not my job to educate you! educate YOURSELF!!!!!!! i spend my time fighting oppression, not educating privileged people!!!!!

i bring this up because i see ABA jobs all the time and i think, hmm, maybe i should get into that. i can relate to AUTISTS. I am almost autistic myself!!!!!

ok applied to the ABA job. there was a really really cute gurl on the website that was a staff member. cute fookin gurls who get psychology and social work degrees. i have a similar useless degree but i never Aggressively Pursued Graduate work in the field.

the gurl staffer they showed on the website was so qt that i could easily fall in luv with a coworker like that hahahahaha.

but if she was already attached, and the good ones all are, i guess it really wouldnt matter, because i dont interfere with good relships. if it were a bad relship i would encourage her to dump him and get with me.

anyway. i just hate being destroyed in muh heart, as well as having her humiliate me in my working life as well. she is making good money and moving up, i am struggling to get back into damn 20k a year no benefits jobs at the org where i first met HER four damn years ago!!!!!!!!

i have had at least 3 interviews with various depts at this org and nothing. all damn 11-12 dollar part time jobs. yes i already asked my actual previous employer for my old job back and no response there, and i am not gonna beg them any more, so i am looking at the other many departments in this org.

heh. meeting her set me back FOUR YEARS of my life hahahahahahahahahaha. i wish i had never met her!

i hate people who move forward instead of backward hahahahaha.

we shouldnt even be competing against WOMEN at the WORKPLACE anyway. but we have to because j00s. i just hate when i am humiliated at the workplace by a woman and a woman i was once close with totally PWNS me work wise: respect, money, status, stress.

i can honestly say i wish i never met her. four years of muh life WASTED. LOST 4EVER. She can’t say the same about the guy she was in a LTR with for 4 years. They had a good rel for a while, she experienced a lot of firsts, it went through the Real Relship Life Cycle (NOT the 20X speed Fast Forward Simulator!!!!), it ran its course, learned a lot of things, and semi amicably go their separate ways. also he benefited HER career by getting her the job, and she is taking that job to the next level. he benefited her life in a permanent way in that way. also I think SHE encouraged him and supported him to get some education/training so he could get his job in the first place.

its so weird seeing women asking for advice on how to work things out. why didnt they just walk away at the first sign of difficulty and say UGH. this is too much. Im out of here. Its hard for me to imagine a woman who doesn’t want to walk out at the first sign of difficulty.  and she stood by him when he was getting difficult.

but i can honestly say i wish i never met her, she left no permanent benefit on my life, it WASNT nice knowing her. well it WAS, but now that HAUNTS me, as something I had once, and can never get back.

its just not good for the confidence to be never given a CHANCE. there has literally never been a woman who wanted more than a short term fling with me. the idea of long term rel with me makes them recoil in horror and disgust.

i listened to some more evalion and i just dont like that super girly voice. you can have a high pitched woman voice and not sound like THAT. and the laughing. the way these women LAUGH at things trigger me. it just makes me think of them being cheats and liars and phonies, just totally making a FOOL out of some foolish guy whos in luv with her. HURTING guys and breaking hearts. that’s what I hear in their Phony Voices!!!!!!!

i didnt get any of that bad shit from her though. she really did have something i really liked. when she laughed and talked, it didn’t sound like that.

but some women are like, yeah im not IN luv with him any more, but i luv him and he’s muh best friend and i want to dump him but i dont want to hurt him because he’s such a good guy and i dont want to break his heart. i wish she had thought that way about me!!!!!!!!! i dont want to break his heart because i Luv Him As A Person, but I just can’t do that kind of rel! hey that would have been SWEET. AWESOME.

i still get angry at the hospital who called me in for the part time 12 dollar job and then cut the interview off right in the middle of the first question. come on. am i really THAT impressive? I guess people can tell that I “sound smart” right away. I sound a hell of a lot smarter than THAT WOMAN, who sounds kinda STUPID, yet shes moving up and im moving down. FOOK.

yet i dont sound smart in any way thats beneficial to me, ie getting me a job. dont you want smart people? sure, but they also dont want weirdos with a huge gap. so push this guy outta here with flattery of how smart he is.

well, it IS important to me that I am smart, because I WANT to be thought of as smart, so the flattery kind of works…..but i also am sick of doing 18.5 interviews and just want a goddamn job already!

and then i can worry about not going crazy and being able to stay Mentally Tough enough to keep the job for a year hahahahahaha.

 

see this woman is thinking about “GHOSTING” this guy but I think it would probably be warranted because he sounds like a POS who is lying to her and still in luv with his ex gf from 5 years ago hehehehe.

i didnt do anything like this! i just had the Gall to Get Feelings!

just treat me like a damn human being! thats all! treat the guys you dump and cheat on and throw away like human beings!!!!! thats all i ask!!!!! take them serious as serious, real human beings!!!!!

heheheh well at least i applied for 6 jobs today and going for a 7th. it tends to make me angry and upset about Jobs….and also about her too hahahahaha. lose lose. lose lose lose lose lose situation.  people who only have lose lose sitations are PRIVILEGED, probably white privilege hahaha. dfdf

dfdfdf

see SHE is getting hung up on HIM, overanalyzing the why, and is upset because shes been doing this for 4 months. hehehehe. try a YEAR. well im glad it actually bothers her at ALL and she hasnt jumped on new dick within 4 months. that makes her better than 90% of women ahhahaahhaha.

how many STUPID MISTAKES does a person need to make? basically fooking 10 guys during college because you were young and immature and didnt know what you wanted.

DID YOU REALLY NEED TO FOOK 10 GUYS TO LEARN THAT? WHY NOT JUST 2 OR 3?

I learned a lot of valuable lessons and i didnt even FOOK the women! Also, some of the women were Good, Decent women who would have been Great for me……..they just didnt want to be with me, so it never started.

I didnt need to BANG 10 SLUTS to figure out what i wanted, if a person was a good or bad fit.

so why did your slut gurl have to bang 10 chads in her early 20s???????

THEY DIDNT!!! PUMP AND DUMP THE SLUT!!!!!!!

YOU DONT NEED TO ADD 10 SECS PARTNERS TO DISCOVER WHO IS AND IS NOT BAD FOR YOU!!!!

you really dont even need to add ONE, but I will tolerate 2 or 3 “mistakes.”

SOMEONE WHO MAKES A MISTAKE TEN TIMES DOES NOT REALLY LEARN FROM MISTAKES WELL!!!!

IF YOU MADE THE SAME MISTAKE TEN TIMES AT A JOB, YOU’D BE FIRED!!!!!!!!!!

so yeah i hate when women make excuses for other women to be huge sluts from 18 to 25. you dont need to fook TEN guys. and in many cases more.

 

IT IS LIKE LOSING A CHILD

make sure the apr 15 post is done

sept 9

sheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeit.

ok took some nyquil, full 30 mL, at 6.15pm.

i just wanted to know what she wanted me to take away from this. in other words, did she WANT to hurt me? yes or no? And that I can’t tell. well at least i can say i didn’t deserve fookin painful revenge like that. but i want to know if she wanted to hurt me or not. normal people dont want to hurt anyone.

once again, the simplest explanation is the best: she didnt REALLY WANT to hurt me, but she just took the path of least resistance. least resistance. we already knew she didnt like trying or putting in effort.

heh. did you WANT to HURT me? the only time i ever wanted to hurt anyone was when some gurl totally broke my heart and then went on to enjoy her life of being a carefree fun luving slut, and i still sorta saw them sometimes. i wanted them to feel a little bit of the pain i was feeling, to be more remorseful for breaking muh heart. i wanted whatever chad THEY luved, to break THEIR heart.

yeah i guess i felt that for her too. but it was never really strong hate or anything. just sadness and disappointment and oh god my life is over. i didnt want to K myself but I did feel there was nothing to live for hahahahaha. one of the most important people in muh life was gone forever.

the other day i was watching die hard 1 on tv and i was like sheeeeeeeeeeeit its SHAMEFUL that I never really sat down and watched this all the way thru, because this is a CLASSIC that I can TOTALLY understand how people have watched it HUNDREDS of times and is their favorite Action Thriller of All Time. People have seen it 100s of times, can recite every line, every movement, and I totally see why. yet i had never even seen it ONCE.  i mean i had seen bits and pieces of course. but the whole movie beginning to end? nope. and that is a SHAME. that is SAD.

of course it is totally the type of movie i would luv to watch while cuddling with a waifu. like that woman. do i want to cuddle and watch die hard with this woman? or am i indifferent? i better not be!

sept 10

hmm i am wondering if i should officially lower my price to 12 dollars an hour hahahaha. probably yes.

heh. i think nyquil on friday is much better than nyquil on saturday. because now i will be ready to Job Search like a maniac on monday hahahaha.

hmmm i didnt realize nick caves 15 year old son had died and that is basically the reason for his harrowing new album “skeleton tree”. i was fortunate enough to see cave live in 2014 and that was just wonderful, awesome, unforgettable, very special, type of thing you ideally want to share with someone special although i was more than happy to go alone hahahaha. i was pretty indisposed during 2015 and didnt even know his son had died. basically tripping on ACID and he fell off a CLIFF. jeez.

of course he is very private and was not giving interviews, just had this album and an accompanying movie, and i guess both are really intense, as you might imagine. yeah that is really tragic. yeah that will take a few years to get over yikes. supposedly caves father dying when he (nick) was 19 had a YUGE impact on his life, and i have no doubt this will also have a huge impact on him. lot of pain and grief and loss to deal with. but at least he has an attractive faithful wife for the past 17 years hahahahahahahahaha.

i dunno. nick cave is just a great one of a kind guy, and he doesnt need any more grief. but i wish he gave like regular sermons on morality so i could ascertain exactly how degenerate he is hahahahaha. because i suspect he is quite nondegenerate. although he prob was back in his youth. drugs and sluts and shit. but now he is deep and good and possibly religious!

and yeah the concert was fantastic, him as a 57 year old man, didnt matter, whole band (seeds) was electrifying. totally awesome. glad to have been privileged to see that show. definite bucket list shit there. for sure. probably wont ever see them again. but really should if i get the chance.

heh. it is kind of like me losing HER. that is how pure and giving muh love was. totally unconditional. like the love you have for your child. and then they are just ripped out of your life one day. like cave says, you are changed whether you like it or not. you are instantly a different person. you dont even know how to relate to yourself any more. we dont like change, which is fine, but what do you do when life changes you instantly and permanently? you are in a state of confusion, and I guess this new album captures this confusion and uncertainty very well. he is just LOST.

and you just cant replace your son the way you replace lovers. oh youll find someone better. oh i guess it wasnt meant to be. nope. never gonna happen here. you just have to live with that Huge Hole In Your Heart and Life.

so maybe I should listen to this album, maybe it could help me hahahaha.

album

and its less than 40 minutes, not some 80 minute bloated monstrosity, even better.

movie trailer. i guess a lot of it was filming shortly after his son died. YIKES. INTENSE GRIEF AND PAIN.

but yeah that is totally how i would describe my loss hahahahahah. when you get dumped people tell you to get over it and she wasnt the one and oh well guess it wasnt meant to be. well instead, show them this film and when they are Numb and Crying at the end, see if they would say that shit to you hahahahaha.

so yeah thank u nick cave for explaining to the world that MY grief and loss is like Losing A Child, hehehehehehe.

so you say thats inappropriate, you can never luv your waifu like you luv your child.

well i say who are you to say that. i say ok fine its not exactly, but it is much more similar than you think! unconditional, abiding, long lasting, it never truly dies, its there thru thick and thin, good times and bad. its not some passing phase, cant be replaced.

you have this numb and confused look on your face like nick cave hehehehe. but you are not numb all the time. sometimes youre numb, many times you are confused and sad and devastated and dont know how youre going to adapt to this Big Life Change. when someone is such a big part of your life, than when they leave, YOU CHANGE.  IT CHANGES YOU and you didnt WANT to be changed like this.

now, all the people that have lost children are gonna be offended. ok fine. i guess losing your waifu is not AS bad. but it’s CLOSER to losing a child, than it is to losing some meaningless, forgettable, disposable, replaceable piece of meat on the carousel of meat. its not some passing phase.

dont tell me she was just a disposable replaceable piece of meat to me by saying i should get over her quickly!

of course i would like her to feel that i was important to her too.

i think i was for a while…..but then that ended. it was just a phase hahahaha. she didnt luv me like she would luv her child. of course, many women can make excuses to K their own children! i cant even fathom!

https://bu.reddit.com/r/relationships/comments/5213un/my26f_ex28m_ghosted_and_now_is_happy_with_someone/

https://bu.reddit.com/r/ExNoContact

heh i wish she DID give me “BREADCRUMBS!” because that would mean she still cared, and maybe there was a CHANCE, and would let me bang her HARD, and that would prob be enough to make her fall in luv with me! breadcrumbs means shes giving you a CHANCE, WILLING to talk or hang out or do SOMETHING!

MANY normies just dont understand No Contact. when we autists try no contact, THEY contact US and be like oh i havent talked to you in a while.

i guess i was just kinda shocked to see that she was so willing to do no contact as well.

lots of guys threaten to K themselves too. dont leave me or ill K muh self! this is about the worst thing you could do, it makes you the bad guy, an abuser, a manipulator, a sneaky pathetic little J. I am SO glad I never did that. It’s about on par with stalking in the Creeper Checklist.

I mean I don’t think these things are so creepy, i mean you are just expressing the intense pain you are feeling!

i mean when you are being dumped you cant think straight! you can’t really intentionally manipulate someone!!!! you just act reflexively! you make nothing but impaired decisions on anything! your mind is completely fooked up! sheeeit you might just K yourself! right in front of her hahahaha. but you probably wouldnt hurt her hehehehe.

anyway i am SO GLAD that the creepiest thing I did was just write an email. Begging for communication. really that wasnt creepy AT ALL. so I am grateful for that. I could have been a LOT creepier. but instead I was well behaved and wasnt creepy at ALL.

i was pathetic sure. beeta. omeega. please respond. please dont throw me away like a piece of garbage. please try to be a little nicer to me, please dignify our friendship and tell me i meant anything to you and that you dont WANT to hurt me. acknowledge muh pain please. please end this better.

but no stalking, no threats hahahaha. i mean i had some “dark thoughts” sure. thank GOD I dont get those any more!

was in church and there was like an 18 year old gurl at the oldest a few rows ahead of me. she was kinda chubby and potatoey but she had a very cute nice face and hair and this honestly nullified all the potatoeyness. she was there with her father who himself was pretty soft and potatoey but seemed like a nice guy. i hope she doesnt become a slut. i thought about Asking Her Out in the middle of church, or maybe asking her father. for permission to date his 17 year old daughter hahahahaha. GREAT.

but yeah theres the Protector and Provider sense.  in a way you are like their new father, and they are like your child that you protect and provide for. so thats partially why its like losing a child. a child that you fook hard like some kind of porno slut hahahahaha.

no contact. WOMEN, never fook or suck a man unless it would take you two full years of No Contact to Get Over Him. thats how serious you must be about the man.

went for 2.8 mile powerwalk, listened to that new nick cave album, not really a fun listen, there are no real song type songs on it, really just kinda like poems with atmospheric ambient background music, like his previous album pushed towards that extreme. no catchy hit songs.

 

hehehehehehe

lot of good stuff here, i know his feels all too well, except he is younger and has more experience and is gonna have a sweet engin degree soon hhahahaah.

 

THE TIME HAS COME WHERE I/YOU NEED TO MEET NEW WOMEN

for sat april 15

now: sept 6 2016

sept 7 2016

sheeeeeeeeeeeeeit.

yeah i have been physically not too great, mentally/emo not too great either since coming back from muh “vacation.” hehehehe. when I got back I promptly went to bed for 16 hours. the next day I was still tired and had aches and pains all over the body. i had done some lifting and carrying of stuff but it really didnt seem bad enough to produce such soreness!

also had annoying borderline water faucet colon which i usually only get in the morning after drinking a lot of coffee too fast, but here it lasted all day and that was very annoying. couldnt even enjoy a nice powerwalk without thinking im gonna shart muh pants.

have been getting sharper “carpal tunnel” pains lately. this has been going on for at least a year but the last couple days its been more noticeable. it is honestly probably enough to get me a medical MJ recommendation for “chronic pain”!!!!! not even joking.

was taking pepto bismol which usually helps with the watery #2’s, but didnt seem to help much yesterday. at the end of the day was very tired. not just low energy, but darn exhausted, even though i hadn’t done anything. slept pretty well again but could have slept longer if i hadnt forced self.

yassss got new shoes from zappos, they seem to fit well. i mean my current shoes are just terrible. they are SO worn down, but really all on one side, so the shoes are very lopsided and diagonal and that cant be good for the foot.  i mean i should have upgraded these shoes months ago. i hope i havent done permanent damage hahahaha. basically i am an overpronator and the outside of the shoe gets worn down much much much more.

but yeah i just felt like i was 80 years old hahahaha.

THANK GOD for the new shoes though. this is my typical thing though. wait way too long to replace stuff that should be replaced. or get haircut. or clothes.

honestly cant stop pooping. this is ridiculous.

new shoes feel gr8! that is awesome. very good. THANK GOD. because this is a privilege most people dont have. buying new shoes when they need them.

yeah so i wore the shoes and took a 3.2 mile walk and the shoes were great.

388 days since i sent her the last contact. i figure 400 days is a nice round number. nicer than 365. but a YEAR is a nice round period of time. why arent years 400 days hahahaha.

422 days since i last talked to her, abotu 419 days since i last SAW her.

theres a thought that I should address Muh Egregious Red Flag Employment Gap in muh cover letter. I am open to doing this.

fdfdfgfg

hg

hgh

ghghghgh

ok. gave this one a try because i liked the cover art hahahaha. wanted to see how the production and songwriting compares to “ashes against the grain.” there seems to be more blasting in a blatant black metal style on Marrow of the spirit, so, I like that. now the SOUND on MOTS is really interesting. I think I like it, it’s definitely provocative so yeah that’s good. the drums sound a little weird and the guitars sound very “warm” and fuzzy. the whole thing sounds rawer and more underproduced than I was expecting, not in a bad way of course.

it sounds like they intentionally tried to make their sound more “raw” or “live” or “organic”, and in theory, I am always in support of this.

heh. finally applied for job. 30k county job. i prefer to apply for the 26k county jobs, but i have gotten interviewed for a 42k county job!

i want to work for you because you have a MF day shift, weekends off, no overtime, 37.5 hour work week, and bennies. so its a good fit for me because i dont handle stress or pressure well hahahahahaha. or customers. thats why i have to be high on xanax all day at work hahahahahaha.

no obviously i don’t actually often USE benzos. i brought 3 valiums with me to our little vacation, and i completely FORGOT about them. sheeeeit. they may have come in handy when i was freaking out because of the MJ! which is the entire reason I brought the valium!!!!!

i am very close to the cusp of focusing hardcore on temp/staffing agencies. recruiters for temp jobs.

because the only people that will “take a chance” on such a RISKY person as me, are the absolutely bottom of the barrel shittiest jobs that will hire ANYONE……or MAYBE jobs where the job contract is limited. temporary. finite. temp. if the person sucks, they will be gone soon.

also if i go a week without an interview, the confidence def goes down. as you get 2 or 3 rejection emails a day hahahaha.

heh. if i got rejected by WOMEN like this, I would have even less confidence hahahaha.

or maybe i just wouldnt care and would bullshit the things i am supposed to bullshit to get women to spread for muh dick hahahahahaha. maybe it would actually be EASIER.

yeah that sounds woman hating, but You Women really DO give it up to easily and don’t have the appropriate RESPECT for SECS, like your biological role in secs. I dont NEED to have as much respect for secs, because men just dump sperm. the costs and risks and responsibilities are much higher for women. RESPECT that.

ok forced my way thru 2 applications. again i am getting discouraged here so i am not applying to “reach” stuff with muh dream orgs unless they are fairly low paying…..and of course these jobs skew towards high paying.

unbelievable. company sending a pdf for me to complete…..but its not an editable pdf. they literally want me to print it out, fill it out by hand, then scan it, then send THAT pdf back. this is a fairly big company where that shit is blatantly embarrassing.

so instead I am converting the pdf to a jpg and trying to edit it in paint. not working so well. with the text boxes and shit.

this is truly a very good album!

it took me basically the whole album just to fill out that shit. using pixlr to add text boxes, rasterize, and draw little circles. unbelievable. they are looking for skills in VISIO and PROJECT which i technically have hahaha yet their goddam Talent Acquisition Team can’t make a pdf editable. absolutely disgraceful. See, I would volunteer my personal time after work to make the pdf editable so they wouldnt have to pay me for that work.

plus i get to show extreme ingenuity and cleverness and problem solving with this pdf to jpg, pixlr, jpg to pdf nonsense, hahahaha. sending them back a pdf that was 8 times larger in size than the one they sent me hahahaha.

because they couldnt do any of this with plain text, saying, answer all of these questions in your reply email. nooooooo that would be too easy.

or god forbid have something in the taleo applicant tracking system THEY ALREADY HAVE AND USE.

but yeah. then they wanted me to explain in the REPLY EMAIL any Gaps in the past 7 years, and also all Reasons For Separation in the past 7 years. I guess I should be glad they didnt ask for 20 years!

but this implies they are gonna read the email……so why demand the shitty, shitty pdf as well?

just to make shit more difficult and weed out the weak.

so I will be PISSED if this doesnt result in an interview.

i added an extra 20 minutes to the spreadsheet for the amount of time it took to apply for this job.

thinking SEARS might be a better place than jcpenneys for me hahahaha.

just looking for t-shirts that have like STRIPES or patterns or some shit, that is not a damn “graphic tee.”

something that is more interesting than just a solid color t shirt, which is what i usually wear, but that is kinda boring!

interesting. what gets me most worked about That Woman is not really thoughts of her spending time and being nice to other men, and loving them and cuddling with them, but really the more x rated stuff, like her sucking dick, fooking her, her sitting on their face and them licking her asshole, hahahahahahahaha. banging her from behind, banging her from the front, tongue in the mouth, her sighing and breathing heavy and getting juice all over. that real porno stuff, which isnt even all porno stuff, but actual real life secs stuff. that is what gets me angery.

that is the sort of stuff that gets me all hot and bothered!

anyway of course i should not be thinking about it at all.

but yeah i have no interest in other women. occasionally i will see a young qt i want to bang but not super often. and i would STILL want to bang HER moar!!!!!!

stupid shit really.

basically i cant ever imagine WANTING another woman as much as her, and also that i will never STOP wanting her!

i mean yeah it has gotten better. and yeah i DID eventually stop wanting those other women. it just took like 2 years hahahaha. and it hasnt been 2 years with this woman yet.

just no interest in women other than to maybe opportunistically bang unmarriageable sluts. great. and never fully exorcise the memory of HER. because I always got along with HER best, we had the most special best connection.

yeah well if it was so good, how come she couldnt even send me a damn text message and just say awwwww im sorry ok now im blocking you sorry.

or have her family or our mutual friend send that message to me for her.

but yeah that connection! even if it was just for me. how am I ever gonna feel that way about someone else ever again? and that is what I WANT to feel for muh wife, the mother of muh children!

yeah it def was the worst heartbreak.

the OBVIOUS ANSWER to how do i forget about HER is……….MEET NEW WOMEN!!!!!!!!!! THE TIME HAS COME where I NEED to MEET NEW WOMEN!!!!!!!!

of coursh I have never ever really liked meeting new people. it is not fun. men or women.

some people, normies and chads, actually LIKE meeting new people and think its FUN.

i have no interest in meeting people unless its a young woman and they are qt and seem NICE.

how hard is it to be nice? not very, but many people seem to think so.

hearing about this guys GF who is like 19 years old and NOBODY likes her. she has “no personality”.

i thought, so what if she has “no personality,” That Woman didn’t have much of a personality, usually if a woman has a strong personality, that means she’s bitchy and obnoxious. no thank you. just have a not-strong personality and be nice. be pleasant. i’m thinking this young girl is both no personality AND not really nice or pleasant either. jeeeez. how unpleasant do you have to be as a 19 year old gurl to have nobody like you??!?!?!?! also I have heard she is not terribly good looking either.

meanwhile i found, once upon a time, a nice, qt, woman that everybody liked because she was NICE and had a GOOD personality.

with men its harder. you have to have an ACTUAL personality, and NOT Just Be Nice. i guess I cant be mad about that, thats just nature.

https://bu.reddit.com/r/relationships/comments/51tj9x/me_23_m_with_my_ex_girlfriend_22_f_for_about_2/

dramatic breakup story, he cant get over ex, who blocked him, but they had their problems, also she talked to him a lot more and prob would have been willing to give him some closure

spet 9

well i have learned from /r/relships/ that women indeed have some agency and are not to be regarded as total BABIES.

(every single attractive young woman on linkedin is a GOD DAMN RECRUITER.)

anyway, not to get off on a tangent, basically, the leftist scum of reddit insists that women are not powerless infants and indeed they DO have some responsibilities. well of COURSE they would think that tho! they like powerful independent wimmin!

but yeah you hear stories where women actually do stuff, put in an effort, or in some cases, stalk the guy, or get needy or clingy, texting the guy, getting jealous, getting heartbroken. i guess its nice to know that women are CAPABLE of this!

or just basically that they are willing to talk to you when they are dumping you and to say sorry and to be conscious that them dumping you is gonna hurt you and they are making some token effort to mitigate some of that hurt!

also the idea that the solution is pretty obvious (dump that b and run away!!!!) and the Bad Guy is pretty obvious.

i just hate being the Bad Guy because I couldnt understand Space.

but i dont think it was that simple either. i think any mature person would say SPACE ISNT AN EXCUSE TO AVOID DEALING WITH THE SITUATION. SPACE ISNT AN EXCUSE TO NEVER COMMUNICATE.

i think i already made that a post title. or something very close to it hahahaha.

so basically when a woman has secs quickly, she is saying “MY VALUES ARE COMPLETELY DIFFERENT THAN YOURS.”  so maybe its a stage. but why should the stage be like 10 years long or 15 years or whatever? thats a pretty long stage. too long for me.

ok applied for us army job. they have a big facility which employs a lot of people in the area with damn good 35k jobs like this one.

an open relationship will NEVER work if BOTH people dont agree about wanting it. period. it HAS to be completely mutual and UNANIMOUS.

of course at least 80% of Breakups are not unanimous, but they dont need to be. it would be nice if they were!

SHOW ME I MEANT ANYTHING TO YOU!!!!!

welp at 399 jobs now, should prob make the big 400th a good one. i think we decided not too long ago to make 500 the new goal.

i mean i have a hard time with jobs. bullshitting my way and figuring out what to do in tough confusing situations. figuring out how to do and handle my job. figuring out how to fix problems and what to say to frustrated customers who are counting on me to fix their problem…….and i really dont know what im doing. i feel incompetent because I AM incompetent and its inherently stressful to try to serve people when you ARE incompetent. because you ABSOLUTELY do not feel free to make mistakes or fail, because someone is basically gonna insult your intelligence.

in school it was ok to make mistakes, because only your grade suffered, and only a little bit, and you could always ask questions without being bitched at and treated like someone who should be fired.

how did that woman do it? oh yeah she just went with the flow. great advice, you horrible person hahahahahaha.

fookin captain obvious. fookin captain obviously easier said than done. jeeeeeez.

also reading /r/rels you see how FLAKY women are. they will just give up on you for the stupidest shittiest reasons and there is nothing you can do about it. because you have to respect their wishes that they dont care about you any more and dont want to do anything to work on things.

where do you go for nondegenerate dating advice? actually /r/rels is pretty good…..BUT they are degen on things like open rels, or being a SLUT. i guess I am just happy that they view Cheating as a Bad Thing. but yeah they dont view having a Super Promiscuous Slut Past as being a bad thing. when it totally is.

and i dont want to go to a christian thing, again. because I want YOU to understand why being a slut is wrong, not just because of muh good book or muh jeebus. which are all great things mind you, but it honestly seems………MORALLY LAZY!!!!!! to have muh jeebus be your answer to all moral questions.

but i dont like atheists. but do i like a devout blind faith type person better than an atheist? probably.

ideal would be a person like me: someone who wants to have faith but is just filled with tons of doubt.

and a woman who just thinks casual sex is GROSS or SLUTTY, and SLUTTY is BAD. I dont wanna be an icky gross SLUT. SLUTS ARE GROSS, she says. I would never want to be gross like that.

and she said that! she had an appropriate sense of DISGUST and DISDAIN 4 SLUTS!!!!

if i even have to mansplain it…….that stuffing a guys dick in your mouf and babymaker, who you dont even know this guy, you just met him a few days ago…if i have to mansplain why that is disgusting, then you are too far gone.

and 90% of women are too far gone hahahahahaha.

might have a little nyquil today, go for walk after, go to bed early.

called this auto service place for recall notice and actually got scheduled to get that fixed. so that was an accomplishment hahaha.

heh. you know how some people “break up” but theyre not really “borken up” because they are still hanging out, fooking, texting hahahaha. sometimes even the gurl initiates, decides she doesnt want to be totally done with the guy, and presents herself to be fooked. can’t say that happened to me hahahaha.

basically, if she had ANY desire to talk to me……..SHE WOULD HAVE.

WOMEN ARE ACTUALLY CAPABLE OF DOING THINGS, the reddit has taught me.

but its easy to think they aren’t, when you have a case where the woman does ABSOLUTELY NOTHING. you think, are ALL women like that? I HOPE not all women are like that!!!!!!!! but i dont know enough women to tell. so then its GOOD to read these stories and anecdotes.

AYOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO I have just gone from a floundering seal to a baby seal on SwC poker hahahahaha. this is a YUGE deal, its taken me like 2 years to get to this point.

 

 

 

GIVING A BULLSH1T NONANSWER IS NOT A RESOLUTION

aug 15

sheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeit.

hey i appreciate everyone that follows and reads this blog hahahaha. even if you are all just scammers trying to turn your self improvement blog into your JOB. hey i guess im doing the same thing, in a veyr low energy, low effort way.

had interview today for 20 hour a week, 11 dollar job. i will take the job if they offer. they seemed nice. wore blue suit. tried to seem normie. apparently help is available if you get stuck.

intvited to interview for 42k ft job next monday. county IT department. horry sheet. i hate these because i am not worth 42k. i am worth more like 28k or 30k. why can’t they interview me for those jobs. WHY DONT THOSE JOBS EXIST OR GET POSTED?

yo either make 9 bucks an hour, or you make 40k a year. NO inbetween hahahaha.  that is so stupid.

http://www.online-stopwatch.com/cash-clock/

did i link this yet. my new favorite form of countdown clock / stopwatch.

this could seriously provide a LITTLE extra motivation. and that shit is VALUABLE. VALUE-ADDED hahahaha.

i just think its fooking DISGUSTING that you HAVE to bang a broad QUICKLY in order for you to ever have a CHANCE with her. I dont WANT to be with the type of SKANK who BANGS QUICKLY.

just the WAY women “date” is DISGUSTING. So naturally the idea of Dating does not sound fun to me, but rather DISGUSTING. just a bunch of dirty sluts fooking like a bunch of muh dik ingras. god damn. and if you dont fook them like sluts on the first date then you have no chance of having a real rel. and they cant see how stupid and wrong and disgusting it is to fook on the first date (or the 5th date, hahaha.)

just got 2 rejections from same company, including application i sent just an hour ago. damn.

MAYBE they are one of those asshole companies that wont even call you for an inteview if you are not current Employed. i wouldnt be surprised. fook shitcvnt shitphags.

heh. the one rejection I got right now was for “payment processor” for a requisition 2 months ago. i just applied for the same position title TODAY, but different requisition.

i bet that IS what it is. they just outright reject ANYONE who isnt currently Gainfully Employed. Are You Employed Sir. Get A God Damn Job, Al.

its just so weird though. some damn medical healthcare business services company rejects me outright for a damn 14 dah job, but a damn university will call me to interview for a 45k job. wtf. it just doesnt make any sense. i would need a TEAM of phds and attorneys to explain this to me. I couldnt pay enough money to get this adequately explained for me.

i mean they are both “good” companies but they have completely different policies here.

i just apply to this medical payment place regularly because they are close to home, they are big well known corp, and they are regularly hiring for entry level jobs.

in some ways I could be considered “overqualified” (degree from good school, no spelling mistakes in cover letter hahaha, have a linkedin page, why am I applying for a 13 dah job.) but in other ways I am “underqualified” (do not have 3 years working experience in medical payments processing. current unemployed.)

fook the bullshit!

hey i was willing to take her out on an official date. more than willing hahaha.

i should have been better about Reading Her Signals though. she clearly didnt want that, and rather than say no, she avoided it, cuz its harder for her to say no. ok fine i get that.

i dunno the only thing this teaches me is the value of communication. the importance. and i never fail to mention that in every job interview. good communication is absolutely essential. it is the most important thing. before you have good customer service, you must have good communication.

yeah i forgive her, i dont blame her, i sometimes blame myself for being so stupid and weak and foolish. but not as much as i used to hehehe.

its just fookin stupid as fook. everything about it was stupid. just fookin write me an email PLEASE. god damn. LISTEN to what I am SAYING. dont throw this all away in the most disgraceful way possible. show a little damn respect. dignify the relship with dignity hahaha.

interview today was ok. the woman was nice, but she was also more On Point than any interviewer ever, and went through everything. she was very well prepared hahaha. I appreciated that. and the receptionist was very nice to me, saying dont be nervous, the people youll be talking to are very nice. I smiled and said thank you.

hehehe when you are on your 14(88)th interview and its a 20 hour a week job, you just dont get nervous hehehe.

well at least when i have another nice female friend, 7/10, 25 years old, n<4, and we get along GREAT, I know how to handle it better when I fall in luv with her hahaha.

im trying to make the point that I have never made a female friend who was So Dateable. My other female friends, i never had any actual interest in them like that, in fact maybe I found them a little “too slutty” hahahaha. but I did not really judge them on that believe it or not. I was able to appreciate them apart from them being sluts. but I wouldnt want to date sluts like that!

yeah it sounds mean. they were nice people. dating them would have been crazy and bad tho, is all Im saying. in a way that it absolutely wouldntve with That Woman. Who was nice, not crazy, and not slutty.

365 jobs is what muh number is up to now.

i just hate majorly screwing things up. majorly majorly majorly screwing things up. you feel bad, feel a lot of GUILT and SHAME.

5 mile powerwalk.

applied to hospital job using the worst peoplesoft application ever. saw i was “not selected” for a job i applied to 3 days ago. but never got an email notifying me. THANKS. that was for an office assistant job. the one I just applied to now is “administrative assistant 1”. i am sure i will be “not selected” for that too.

it just sucks to go to college and be a 35 year old nevergf neet and you can’t even get an INTERVIEW for an OFFICE ASSISTANT job where you just need a HS education. that triggers and rustles me WAY more than going to an interview and not getting the job. at least then I get SOME confidence, get some experience, get to add to muh pile of interviews. and it tells me i am a finalist, i am one of the 10 best applicants. for a god damn 13 dah office asssistant job. not even an ADMINISTRATIVE assistant hahahaha.

very likely THEY dont like unemployed people too. god DAMN.

so the lesson learned is to REAPPLY to all these places once i get some kind of job, like this 20 hour a week job i interviewed today. way to get ahead of myself. they are interviewing 5 or 6 other people here. so i have like a 16% chance of getting the job hahaha.

i like that cash clock. it makes me feel like im actually making money and doing something productive when i apply for these jobs. like im getting PAID to do job applications. im not of course, but it feels like it just a little bit. like i am making money doing work, rather than just trying to get as low a time as possible! im still doing that too, but now im also MAKING MONEY for it! im not of course but even if i can make it feel like that a LITTLE bit. its a motivator.

as i was doing the powerwalk today i saw a qt young woman. in my neighborhood. i walked RIGHT BY HER. i was caught VERY off guard. I saw her way up ahead earlier on and did a double take, who is that nonfat youngish woman? and then i turned the corner about 15 minutes later and there she was! i hate passing people, but her i sort of looked at her and smiled and said hello, which the friendly normies do. most young attractive women HATE when balding betas do this, its literally rape. but she actually seemed to smile back at me! and i was like whoooooooaaaaaa should i go running back after her and ask her out to dinner? i did not expect that at all. I do not expect niceness or pleasantness from qt young women! And I totally get why! They dont like omega males, never have, never will. I more expect women to be cold and bitchy to me, i get SURPRISED and CAUGHT OFF GUARD when they smile and are nice. I can’t say I dislike it though! It was part of how me and that woman got along so well. she was FRIENDLY to me. she SMILED at me. when I very unused to women SMILING at me. it’s NICE, i LIKE it, but i am totally unaccustomed to it.

i was not wearing glasses so i couldnt tell anything about the woman other than she was not old and she was not hideous and she had a friendly look on her face. when i first saw her i couldnt tell if she was 13 or 23 or 33. if she was 13, thats bad. but i think she was actually an appropriate age. maybe she was an Eastern European Immigrant. if so, EVEN BETTER. real tradwife material!

it was the first time i ever saw her. if i ever see her again, I should ask her out to dinner. or lunch. or coffee. or ice cream. i mean im supposed to take her out for drinks and fook her on the first date if i want any chance at marrying her hahahaha.

anyway it reminded me how qt women being nice to you can make you forget about Other Past Women pretty effectively.

women have the attention of secsy guys all the time, makes it easier for the women to forget about men.

but omega males, we are so used to women being neutral (or negative) to us, that its a little WEIRD to have a woman be POSITIVE to us. but its the type of weird id like to get used to!

never say never again, 1983. sean connery came BACK to playing bond after like a 10 year hiatus. was there a hiatus? or did roger moore not enter until after 1983? i dont know, dont really care, i just thought connery was done with bond well before 83. also, kim basinger was VERY attractive in 1983. i mean shit i would prob still bang her 33 years later…..but she was a total 9/10 in 1983 hahahahahaha.

AM I THE ONLY PERSON ON THE WHOLE INTERNET WHO REALIZES THAT INDEED ALERTS SUCKS!!????!?!?!?!?!?!!

there are NO comments from other butthurt people like me. who can’t FIND the alerts they thought they had, tha

https://subscriptions.indeed.com/

AYOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

TOP SECRET INDEED PAGE INDEED DOES NOT WANT YOU TO KNOW ABOUT, RIGHT THERE!!!!!!

thats ALL I want. A list of ALL my active alerts on ONE page.

of course, there’s no link to EDIT the alerts from this page. that would make WAY too much sense.

searching my gmail TRASH folder for indeed alert EMAILS that contain a CANCEL link at the bottom.

http://www.indeed.com/my/alerts?from=nav

by my GOD, THIS page is the worst abomination EVER. a fooking ABORTION. it doesnt work, it hasn’t worked for MONTHS, and indeed does not care. this kind of OBVIOUS CORNER CUTTING and SHITTY QUALITY triggers me to no end. just because anyone above level 1 can just HIDE BEHIND level 1 indians saying we are so sorry for the inconvenience, but right now there are no plans to implement this feature. HOPE THIS HELPS! and thanks for choosing indeed. and they mark that as a RESOLVED CASE. NO. ITS NOT RESOLVED AT ALL. GIVING A BULLSHIT NONANSWER IS NOT A RESOLUTION. GOD DAMN.

and i hated being in the position where I was the level 1 schmuck who had to give the bullshit nonanswer!!!!!

She didnt care. She just gave the bullshit. she was so stupid she didnt even KNOW it was bullshit. shes just like whatever its a job, lemme just listen to music while i give bullshit nonanswers, cant wait to get out and smoke MJ, set up some chill hangouts with hot bois from tinder and okcupid, its so fun being single and dating for the first time in my life, and im glad to be done with that asshole jerk bitchboi who i thought was my friend but he just wanted to fook me! all men are jerks and liars who only want one thing! well two can play that game! besides he was a 35 year old virgin weirdo, i was WAY out of his league! gross!

and this is why you dont work at a terrible bullshit job with the woman you are in luv with hahaha.

so just go to dinner with the nice qt gurl from the neighborhood, or the qt dark haired woman at the weekly game. i dont see any of these women regularly or consistently, tho. NO EXCUSE!

basically, when i had my easy job from 2008 to 2013, i did not do NEARLY enough job searching. i did pretty good with schooling, in the sense i took a lot of classes that didnt do much. shit i KNOW i had a COUPLE interviews here and there kinda randomly, but i certainly didnt get the jobs. then i got the bigboy job in late 13 because they would hire ANYONE, LITERALLY. they hired a ton and fired a ton.

point is, right NOW, my jobseraching skills are the BEST theyve ever been. in terms of muh system. muh spreadsheet. muh indeed alerts. a few careerbuilder alerts. muh PACKET. muh folders of bookmarks. organization information. email alerts. i didnt have ANY of that before. until NOW really. 2016. current year. yeah thats shameful. but i would often miss out on jobs because i didnt KNOW about them, and i would think ehhhh shit i dont want to dig up addresses and phone number of every employer for goddamn PROFILES you have to fill out. i was way too LAZY about jobseraching when i had that job at that time. then i got the new job and had no time to do anything. just study the shit and try not to panic.

aug 16

heh. i want a BOOK or a 20 hour documentary on what Long Term Unemployed or Long Term Kissless Virgin Nevergf does to men. Neetness. there is the occasional article saying it can lead to despair. NO SHIT. i am looking for something that explores all this in depth. i guess that this is my niche, my calling, the doumentary i must make myself.

i thought about hanging out with that qt random woman and her being nice to me and smiling at me and cuddling with me and i thought HOLY SHIT what a BIG DEAL that would be, that would totally TRANSFORM me, i am totally MISSING OUT on something BIG.

and this is all from getting one small polite smile from a woman where I really couldnt tell how attractive she was.

well she seemed moderately attractive, maybe even the ever Problematic 7/10, otherwise i wouldnt have reacted so positively!

then they say, youre overreacting, its not gonna TRANSFORM YOU, if you got what you wanted, you’d soon find you were unhappy again, because you REALLY need to change something within yourself.

ok FINE. then i challenge you to PROVE me wrong by giving me that chance. give me a nice qt gf for a year and we’ll see if it TRANSFORMS me or not, hahahahahaha. if it doesnt, i will accept defeat humbly.

just GIVE ME A CHANCE.

although admittedly “chance” for me means more than “one strike and youre out.” give me at least 3 strikes hahahaha.

heh. we were both saying PLEASE STAHP to each other. she was saying please stahp pushing me to hang out and please stahp having weird feelings for me, I was saying please stahp avoiding me and ignoring me and not hanging out with me ever.

recipe for disaster.

stupid fookin jobs. so fookin retardedly stupid. i wish i didnt have to deal with this and i could have just lived with HER happily ever after.

but at least now i am applying for jobs and jobsearching with a pretty solid good system, and also sometimes noticing other women and feeling excited when they smile at me hahaha.

starting to think more seriously about focusing intentionally on part time jobs, and using that as a stepping stone to a full time job, because SOME COMPANIES automatically reject you if you are Currently Unemployed. ESPECIALLY if longer than 3 months. which it certainly has been!

in the sense that a little while ago, i was avoiding applying for part time jobs, and saying NO i NEED a full time job……when relally part time jobs are EASIER and they can HELP you in ultimately getting a FT job. so you dont get painted with the brush of “long term unemployed loser.”

this was kind of funny, its sad that kyle and sinead are so god damn confrontational , well especially sinead hahaha. not just confrontational but she insults and disparages good people with good messages. it doesnt have to be this way! you dont have to be such a drama causing bitch!

and kyle really is a handsome man. and sinead has some good, but the bad outweighs the good. i hope sinead is not leading kyle around by the balls, or making him do an open rel, and why for the love of Wodinn dont you just SAY that kyle is your husbando and that he is the father of your child…….UNLESS HE ISNT??????? in other words, sinead is super untrustworthy. but i think kyle can be redeemed, but he has to break free of sineads spell first.

so sad and frustrating to see healthy looking young white people be pro-white…..but mix it up with such stupid shit. they can do SO much better. they even have a sense of HUMOR!!!!

and its SAD that sinead is irreparably damaged. im not even sure how you could fix her. well find her a white man whos not afraid to put her in her place, get many more babies out of her, and keep her away from the internet!!!!! kyle does not look like he’s gonna be that strong man. besides, why would any man  DESERVE such a High Maintenance Handful? A strong man should be able to do BETTER than her, in other words.

but maybe an ex mudshark slut who is totally crazy is good enough for ME, an ex degen whos not a big winner. but i would STILL have to develop a VERY strong hand to keep her in her place!!!! and i dont have that yet! also i am nowhere near as handsome as kyle!

ok its a bit easier to do 28 minute job applications when you are listening to music at the same time. have to do that more reg.

applied for City job, US Attorneys Office FEDGOV USAJOBS job, and uhh hospital job where i have 40 other applications and never an interview. discriminating against the longterm unemployed hahahaha.

sheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeit. busy day. was getting ready to go to shrink and got call from Electronics Company that I had applied to 900000000000000000 times but never heard a god damn thing. and now i hear from them. why now? why open this job to 500 new applicants every month? how am I in the Elite Pool? was it because I updated the profile to have Muh Packet? they use a Bad Taleo (there is a Good Taleo believe it or not) where its impossible to tell whats really attached to your application.

recruiter gurl talks to me, catches me way off guard, said….holy shit she has 5700 followers on linkedin and has a very powerful linkedin premium account. it is like i am being contacted by the fookin bill gates of Talent Acquisition and Recruiting.

when i am contacted off guard by someone, i always fear that i sound like a rude or distracted asshole or autist. i did the best i could, tried to be as nice as i could, and was able to sched an interview for friday (today is tues.) they wanted me to come in tomorrow. i hate coming in TOMORROW.  (but not as much as much as coming in TODAY hahahaha.) well they were able to acommodate me on friday actually. good. interview with a panel of 3 men. probably will want to test my knowledge of the company. GREAT.

then as i get out of shrink, get a call on my baterry dying phone from the HOSPITAL that NEVER calls me (except to schedule an interview for TODAY or not at all, hahaha.) they say you put 26000 on salary requirements. I said yes but that is very flexible, what is the range for this position (positngs here NEVER say), they say it starts at 11 bucks an hour, i say thats fine hahaha, see you on……cant do friday errrrr how about monday.

so now i interview with hospital monday morning for dumb 11 dollar part time job…….and then BIGGGGGG interview monday AFTERNOON with county for SWEET 42k job!!!

heh. never had 2 interviews in ONE DAY before, i guess this is a turning point eh?

rejection email from county for 26k job DAMN why cant they just INTERVIEW me for these jobs!!!!! applied 6/15, get rejection on 8/16. ok good.

all these olympic athletes have TRAINERS and COACHES. you dont say go out there and figure out how to win a gold medal. you PRACTICE for YEARS with a COACH who TEACHES you BEST PRACTICES.

bitches.

 

 

EVEN DEGENERATE POLYAMOROUS SLUTS COMMUNICATE

aug 13

you cant even talk to normies about this because theyll be like why were you SO devastated? why didnt you just ignore her? just suck it up? why did you fall SO hard for someone you werent even fooking? why didnt you tell her earlier? its all my fault basically. and it kinda is. not that I MADE her withdraw all kindness, but I did kinda reap what I sowed in several ways.

but she was jsut as immature as i was, and usually 25 year olds are more mature than me hahahahaha. well she was a WOMAN though. women are naturally immature. like children. children who cant keep their legs closed hahahaha.

so yeah normies get their hearts broke but its not as big of a deal to them. or they dont fall so hard for someone they are not dating/fooking.  normies just wouldnt understand. they say yeaaaahhhh something is a little weird about this guy, and he should probably see a shrink and get on some meds already. oh he is? hmm well uhh maybe he should try some diff meds and a diff shrink, the current program isnt working so well hahahaha.

the ironic thing is, I think a Decent Monog Longterm Rel with a Woman WOULD help the majority of foreveralone despairing virgin men, give them real confidence in something that is really meaningful to them, and literally transform them. theyve wanted this for so long but never got it. dont you think them finally achieving it would change their lives?

but maybe it would be like winning the lottery. theyd find a way to fook it up.

i dunno. give them a CHANCE at least. if that woman gave me a CHANCE, i think i would have had a good chance of not fooking it up!

normies also dont understand why it takes us so LONG to get over somebody. so just virginsplain to them that if their wife with whom they have created new life just up and left them without a word and that was it, how long would it take THEM to get over THAT? at LEAST a year.

or the person just dropped dead suddenly one day. but still i think being left is WORSE than that, because you’re not certain that the person who dropped dead WANTED to LEAVE you. as far as you know, they still loved you till the very end.

so yeah this is rougher than a death hahahaha. because they WANT to leave you, they’re still alive out there fooking and loving OTHER guys, and they dont give a DAMN about you and your broken heart and the time you spent together. they’ve FORGOTTEN about you entirely. dead people cant forget you like this hahahaha. dead peopel arent moving on fooking and loving other people and enjoying life.

you can move on and enjoy all the cox and abortions and tyrones you want, just dump a person the right way, not the wrong way.

implying that women are even capable of doing things the right way.

hehehe well i KNOW they are, because OTHER women have dumped me the right way. and I appreciate it hahaha. thank you so much for dumping me the right way.

ok took shower, go to boring church today. i was trying to “fast” until 12pm, that would give me 18 hours of “fasting.” the old 18/6 as opposed to the 16/8 hahahahaha. i was starting to ger hungery so yeah. then ate 290 calorie breakfast/lunch.

ive been VERY good about not looking her up on linkedin or facebook or instagram or google. VERY good. so +1 to me hahahaha. i mean i wouldnt be able to see any more than her fb profile picture, but that’s bad enough. to even see ONE picture of her would be WAY too much.

then i think about people who are Friends with their Exes 4 Lyfe. I just cant wrap my mind around it at all!

i mean it could possibly be doable if BOTH peopel mutually agreed that the rel was over and that NEITHER person wanted to work on it. and NEITHER person wanted the other back. i guess I am envious to have such a Mutual, Amicable Breakup hahahaha.  seems a lot less stressful than knowing you have to restrain yourself from seeing even ONE picture or ONE comment or ONE reminder that they are still alive, for YEARS.

like i am thinking of these people i will see at this little labor day event. the one guy is married and has a kid and his wife and maybe kid will be there with him…..but he is still friends with his ex gf from 10 years ago! and they dated for several years and she was kinda crazy! and she is married to some other guy now. and she is going to this thing as well! they still see each other once a year or so! heh if i were his wife i would be suspicious hahahaha. its called a break up because its BROKEN hahahaha. but then youre jealous, youre the bad guy. maybe he gets a freecard to fook her hahahaha. now im just speculating. but this guy had a LOT more wild oats than me, he was pretty much an alpha male ladies man. now he has a good career and a nice wife and child. hehehehe funny to think that when  first met him he was an 18 year old kinda nerdy kid who had only had 1 GF hahaha (much more than i had had as a nerdy 18 year old hahaha) and I kinda Corrupted him by introducing him to MJ!!!!

well he turned out MORE than all right and I turned into a big loser hahaha. maybe winner normies can be issue free friends with their x’es. i just don’t want him to do anything DEGENERATE, because he’s a good guy and he can do BETTER than that. of course nothing degenerate has actually happened to my knowledge! i just think its weird to be friends with your x’s and to have the x at a holiday weekend with your wife and the wife is fine with it too!

meanwhile i have to make a concerted effort to never look at a single picture of HER ever again, and we didnt even date for 2-3 years and fook 6000000000000000 times like this guy and his x did!

so i am a bit jelly of a serious relationship ending without any Lingering Trauma hahahaha.

and they still have SOME sort of relationship technically!

how does his wife feel about this? how does her husbando feel about this? is she still married to the husbando? i dont think THEY had any kids. i dont fully trust her, although i always got along with her. i wouldnt want to be in a rel with her! she was kinda crazy, in the way that you can never fully trust crazy! she went on to be wildly successful and started doing a phd but then left after the masters level to make tons of money in Private Industry. probably not in a call center hahahaha.

i guess i am also envious of crazy people who can still be extremely successful despite their despair or bipolar or whatever.

anyway shes ok, she’s white, thats the main thing, so she should go down to part time and have some white kids. her husbando had a high paying job in finance or some shit. controller or CFO or some high level, high wealth Career. she can afford to take some time off and have babies. 3 of them. i think he’s white too. could be Jooish but I don’t think so. could be though. has dark hair. i never met him. but if he’s white, they should have kids. but she might pass her crazy on to them? she’s not a bad person though. would i trust her with homeschooling children? maybe. i mean having children could well be very good for her.

anyway i dont hate her, i just thought she was kinda weird, and i was a bit annoyed by her overachieving. it paid off in an impressive career though!

anyway i anticipate i will get along with her just fine, i always did before, and she was always nice to me and me to her. situation is just kinda weird is all. but theres no point for me to tell HER that! or him. if it doesn’t bother either of them, it doesnt matter.

i am just obsessed with Relationships in general. and getting Nosy into other people’s business.

especially if i KNOW the people, and there is anything weird about the rels. or the rels are ending or failing. i am interested in the Death of Rels hahahaha.

well their rel certainly didnt DIE! it changed, maybe downgraded, and in a mutual way! me and that woman, our rel just DIED. permanently. DNR. RIP. Although I for sure wanted to resuscitate it!

when you want something for so long, well its not like food and water, you wont DIE……but you do become TWISTED and WEIRD. to have an unscratchable itch for 10, 12, 14 years, and to never experience something that Normies experience.

in the mood for some depressive su1z1dal black metal, i hear this one is pretty good, and i actually remember listening to it like 4 years ago when i first discovered DSBM.

i recall it being ok. it gets good reviews.

i could very well be bipolar hahahaha. only i dont get manic episodes. i just get brief episodes where i am kinda wound up and not thinking straight. well that is a manic episode no? yeah but i am not staying up 3 days in a row Tweaking and doing impulsive shit. but i am generally “one extreme or the other” in my thoughts and attitudes. so maybe i have “mild bipolar” and taking some lithium would help me be more productive and successful.

churn out moar job apps, get thru moar interviews, and once i get a job, survive its shittiness one day at a time. put myself out on okcupid and try to get the table scraps there hahahaha. Post HER, I cant imagine ever Loving another woman again.

i mean why SHOULD you lower your standards when you are looking to spend the rest of your LIFE with somebody and you want to create THREE NEW LIVES with them? does it make ANY sense to lower your standards for that? FOOK NO!!!! Either I luv them the same or MORE than i luved her, or NO new lives will be created!!!!!!!!1111

WHY THE HELL SHOULD YOU CREATE NEW LIFE AND SPEND THE REST OF YOUR LIFE WITH SOMEBODY YOU ARE NOT MADLY IN LUV WITH?

or to rephrase that, someone you are just kinda “MEH” about. i realize Mad Luv fades, but i am implying that it Of COURSH follows with a deep, abiding, Loyal, Foundational, Strong, Faithful Luv.

coldworld just came out with his first album in 8 years hahahaha. cover is a little corny but album is allegedly good hahahaha.  not really DSBM as much as melancholic black metal hahahaha. i recall the melancholie2 album was decent. prob better with some MJ and good headphones hahahaha.

yeah well though i have trouble reaching muh goals, at least i have a good family and i am not a superfat slob anymore. still want to lose 10 more pounds tho. and it will be the hardest.

also now i have nice clothes to wear in the interview. and nice friends who remember me after years and invite me places. i mean i am kinda nervous because i dont have any stories to tell, and i am a huge loser and they are all happy winner normies. but i try to not ram my loser weirdo neetness down their throat, and try to be as normie as i can. play down my loserness and insecurity and self-loathing cuz i know that comes across as VERY overbearing. so i dont overbear others with it. just in this blog and when i am by myself!

i didnt overbear HER with it either, she had barely any idea how crazy i am! i just overbeared her with pathetic pleas to pleeeeeeease hang out with meeeeeeeeee pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeease respond.

aug 14

just spent all day reading about metal, mainly DSBM, but some regular non DSBM like this quebec nationalist black metal band forteresse, sheeeeeit all sorts of black metal. very close to giving ruins of beverast another chance.

well lets just put it this way, i like metal Solo Projects with Real Drums. Drum machines suck. also when you add more people it risks diluting the musical vision and purity. 2-person bands are also ok.

so basically you just tell women you want to HANG OUT and then you use a little GAME and if the first “date” goes ok, then you can get a second date, and then you bang them on the second date. this is insanely slutty!

it is so insane and disgusting and horrifying that THAT WOMAN is doing exactly that with a carousel of guys she meets on dating sites and tinder!

i guess this is women’s programming to get pregnant as soon as possible, by any means necessary. and then you NEED to have an abortion or oops baby to teach you a lesson. and then you forget that lesson after a few months, become a slut again, and have another abortion or oops baby.

ABSOLUTELY DISGUSTING.

welp i generally dont like 80 minute albums but might as well dive in here. i think some dude MJ lmao and good headphones would help a lot here. unfortuantely i have neither hehehe.

well even the pickup guys who like to bang sluts say that half of women dont bang on the second date. this is great news.

heh maybe half of THEM bang on the THIRD date. so, 75% of women bang on 3rd date, 88% on 4th, 94% on 5th, 97% on 6th, 99% on 7th, hahahahaha. doing a little rounding there.

i dunno. i am still not over her. she was SPECIAL to me goddamn it! she wasnt some random slut! yet to other guys she wilfull presents herself as a random slut. unbelieveable. disgusting. revolting.

interview tomorrow for part time job. 12k a year hahahahaha. well at least its permanent part time hahahaha. and i have worked with this organization before. but it is IMPOSSIBLE to get a full time job here. you have to REALLY know someone powerful . i thought i did, but i either didnt know them well enough or they werent powerful enough. prob both.

went for powerwalk. lyrinx was meh, ruins of beverast was interesting, not as bad production as i expected, but still pretty rough.

anyway i dont like having a special rel thrown away like it was not special. it makes me think the WHOLE THING was an illusion….WHEN IT WASNT.

also, i probably did NOT do something HORRIBLY WRONG AND BAD…..although it was very confusing and bad for me because i got the same reaction as if i had, and it was ENTIRELY up to me to cnvince myself that i hadn’t! and i am not very good at that!

also, i never want to do anything terrible, but i am aware that i might do something terrible, and i want someone to let me know so i can learn from it and never do it again! and she sort of let me know that i did something terrible.

but she DIDNT. she didnt do ANYTHING. maybe i did something bad, maybe I didnt.

http://www.online-stopwatch.com/cash-clock/

hehehehe time is money wagie, tick tock, back to work, another day another dollar.

so yeah i like it when the woman lets you know you didnt do anything terrible that makes you a terrible person, they say its not you its me. i like that. its cliche but it WORKS, it really MEANS something.

i dont want to be such an autistic sociopath that i do horrible things without knowing! i dont want to be a terrible person to other poeple!!!11

so yeah she could have been better in letting me know that i was not a terrible person basically.

and it took me a fookin YEAR to convince myself that she was just Overloaded and Ran Away. but jeez. at least send a messenger. send one last message. wasnt our earlier rel important to YOU???!?!?! Im pretty sure it was! dont be DISHONEST and pretend it wasnt!

but yeah its gonna be the father who teaches his daughter morals, including sexual morality. how to pick a good man. how to wait 8 dates before fooking. how to not bang too many guys. how to pick a good guy young. how to not cheat. how to dump a guy the right way. how to not lead a guy on. the mother just cant do this. because women cant TEACH shit. funny how most “teachers” are WOMEN!

so she turned out ok despite no father. she still hurt me greatly and i wish i had never met her. so if i had followed my never associate with fatherless women rule, then i never would have met her (or at least got attached to her), and my life would have been better.

i mean shit. it just sucks when you have to say “I WISH I NEVER MET YOU. YOU MADE MY LIFE WORSE. YOU BROUGHT MORE BAD THAN GOOD. YOU WERE A NET LOSS.”

when people have an Amicable Break Up, they don’t say THAT. they dont wish they never MET the person.

theres this book called The Ethical Slut which used to trigger me because being a slut isnt ethical, but i guess the book assumes a basis of do no harm, and communicate boundaries, and dont treat people like garbage, and how to communicate about awkward feelings in case your fuccboi gets feelings and you just wanna fucc moar fuccbois.

in other words, i would have LOVED being treated with the ethical guidelines advocated by The Ethical SLut hahahaha. i think.

http://candieportfoilo.yolasite.com/resources/The%20Ethical%20Slut.pdf

its NOT OK to NOT COMMUNICATE with your lovers or yourself hahahaha.  THANK YOU. hahahaha

http://openingup.net/

opening up by the degen slut tristan taormino is argued to be the better book.

heh. i am looking to the MOST DEGEN PEOPLE for advice on Ethical, Mature, Healthy Relships hahahaha. THAT is how IMPORTANT good COMMUNICATION is to ALL relationships, even degen slut ones.

EVEN DEGENERATE POLYAMOROUS SLUTS COMMUNICATE.

I agree with them that communication and respecting feelings is important, ethical, and good!

ok i think i have made my point hahahaha.

i watched “Fargo” last night on viceland degen tv. this is one of those movies that i have wanted to watch beginning to end but had never done so. i had seen the first 30 minutes recently and was quite intrigued. so i was glad to see it here and i caught it right at the beginning. decided to watch the whole thing. there were frequent commercials so that did not help. but overall i found it disappointing. it could and should have been a lot better. just because coen brothers are degen J’s doesn’t mean they haven’t made great movies. but some of them are not so great. this one tilts towards that, when I expected it NOT to.

joos writing supergoys seemed pretty condescending, patronizing, like look at these STUPID WHITE HICKS.

did the guys wife end up dying? i felt they really treated her like a piece of meat. thats somebodys mother. even if the kid is a brat and the father is a scumbag.

i guess frances mcdormand was the moral compass and that was ok…..but I would have liked to see that extend to the other goy characters, like the kidnapped wife. i mean did the big goy barbarian just knock her out, or sociopathically kill her like he did everyone else? did the kidnappers have any intention of doing a “fair” trade? were they just gonna kill the wife all along? why? why was the injun beating steven buscemi with a belt? prob because he drew the attention of the po po on him, i guess. but nothing ever happened to the injun. they never arrested him. or maybe they did later.

just seemed kinda lazy and sloppy and i know coen brothers can do better than this.

unless there are buried hints like a david lynch movie.

why was bill macy in financial trouble to begin with? why did he scam 320k from GMAC car loans if he just needed 1 car to give the criminals? it seemed like he wanted 750k to be loaned from his father in law.

maybe im just asking too many questions. but that is what i do. blame muh job. need to know everything about everything.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fargo_(film)

ok so the gmac loan is what he needs the money FOR. but why was he trying to scam them in the first place? gambling? hookers?

and why “fargo” if most of the movie took place in brainerd and minneapolis? he first met the kidnappers in fargo but thats about it.

I mean it was GOOD, but it wasnt nearly as good as i expected. it was disappointing and lazy and sloppy and i feel like i missed something. maybe they edited out important stuff for commercials. i guess the wife is supposed to be dead.

big lebowski was better, raising arizona and millers crossing were WAY better.

this should not be considered a top shelf coen brothers movie. it was lazy and patronizing. how did it win an oscar for best screenplay. how did it become such a phenomenon, with critics and fans shitting themselves over it?

i didnt really like “no country for old men” either.

i did really like the main musical theme of fargo though.

hahahahahahahaha

i didnt think it really SUCKED, I just thought it was ok, not great. is was disappointing and the coens can do better.

i have enjoyed coens films for YEARS and I totally understand and get their style. the layers and subtleties. the dialogue and dialects. ok thats FINE.

i might have liked it more if i saw it years ago, when i was more prone to suck the coen bros jooish dicks.

and i prob would have liked it moar with no commericials, and ucddling with a waifu.

that can make bad movies good.

http://goaskalice.columbia.edu/answered-questions/why-did-she-break-me

its good to Grieve but dont let it CONSUME you hhahahahaha. easier said than done. well it doesnt consume me as much hahaha. but other things do.

like oh god i am unqualified at everything, incompetent, can never get a job or a woman, completely worthless hahaha.

anyway. sheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeit.

so lets just assume 50% of women are dirty n>=4 whores and 50% are decent n<4 marriageable women. because we just DONT KNOW, and the great rule of thumb is, always assume 50/50 when you DONT KNOW.

i can live with 50/50!

i mean i think being a high number slut who gives it up real quick is a good proxy or way to measure a womans morality and trustworthiness in general. do they really walk the walk. or are they loose. hotdog in a hallway. jsut a damn mercenary riding the coch carousel, where she has given many men a Turn. It MATTERS and STOP PRETENDING IT DOESNT!!!! But they’re not pretending, they TRULY BELIEVE it doesnt matter. totally brainwashed.

okok i need some TROB with……clearer production.  the newest one is generally rated the lowest but its the only one i havent heard at all.  plus i just straight up RESPECK this guy, he is just very special, i dont care that he is a pagan hahahahahahaha. tree worshipper.  he also has Male Pattern Baldness and a Hirsute Robin Williams like body. this endears him even more to me.

i would totally make a moderate effort to see him live. i am glad he likes to play live. why the hell wouldnt you. like these black metal phaggots that are too grim to play. or dsbm people that are too despaired to play live. come on. even trist played live a few times.

i mean yeah the fans are degenerate losers but theres probably one guy there like me who is not hahaha. who is really enjoying your show.

interview tomorrow and i am not even worried or anxious. how can you, for an 11 dollar 20 hour a week job. good god. why do i even wear a suit. why do i think i need a NICE suit.  well at least now i have a nice suit in case i need it. and i just wear it to every damn interview anyway. i am pretty happy about the suit. i had been meaning to get one for YEARS, at least 4 years or so.

i was glad to hear people on the daily shoah agree that MULTITASKING is BULLSHIT. total BULLSHIT. i couldnt agree more. but you HAVE to say you are REALLY REALLY good at it. but if youre HONEST with yourself, it just means you do a shitty, distracted job on many tasks at once. only the most autistic people like rainman MIGHT be good at multitasking. only half of the 1% most autistic people might be good at multitasking. its fookin BULLSHIT, end of story. but we are not allowed to say that. worse, we are forced to actually attempt to multitask!

i dont mind that women are like children……..except for the fact that they do a LOT MORE DAMAGE that children. they break hearts and cheat and ruin lives without remorse. children don’t do this. you dont give the baby a machine gun.

women are like babies born with machine guns. but in the past, society used to do what it could to put the safety on that gun, or take it away.

but why should women be born with something theyre TOO IMMATURE TO USE?

so they can get pregnant as soon as possible, that’s why.

and if they choose poorly, either them, the baby, or both can suffer the consequences for that AFTER the baby is born. but not before.

maybe men and women are not as different as i thought. they just want to fook any (secsy) thing that moves, no regard to the consequences. they dont care who they hurt. we are an r selected inger species hehehehe.

yeah well we WHIITES HAVE to be better than that. maybe thats how humans started, but thats not what WE evolved into. WHITES DONT DO R SELECTION. and it disgusts me to see white women doing it.

women dont have to do time in the prison of relationshiplessness hahahaha. they don’t get tons of TIME to THINK about the DYNAMICS and the ins and outs of relationships because they’re too busy being IN them. they never have a chance to view it from the OUTSIDE. think outside of the box hahahaha.

with me and other foreveralone nevergf virgins, its the exact opposite. we spend all our time thinking about rels, and exactly ZERO time actually IN them!

isnt that funny hahahaha.

holy sheet this one guy who i used to work with at my fun job which i left……..almost 3 years ago, he is still working there! this is just sad because he is older than me, has a degree, has his teaching certificate, and can get a FT teacher job, just sub shit. and they have hired two FT people in the department in the 3 years since i left, and they did not offer HIM the job! maybe they did but he said no? i wuldnt have said no! they interviewed ME for one of those jobs. i didnt get it and i was kinda pissed. why didnt they interview me for the other one? i cant remember exactly when the other one happened. before or after the one interview i had.

maybe i was that shitty of an employee hahahaha. but i dont think so. i definitely was not an electrifying team leader however, and i did not schmooze with Higher Ups like i should have. I just nodded my head and did what they told me and was nice to everybody. but the people i schmoozed best with were not higher ups. they were just level 1 saps like me, or in different departments. the maintenance guy.

heh wasnt good enough to get me an interview when i applied for the maintenance job a few months ago, for the 3 days a year the position is open. blink and you will miss it. literally.

 

 

WOMEN ARE THE SUPPLY OF SEX, MEN ARE THE DEMAND

july 27

4 or 5 jobs on muh “work” days hahahaha.  got muh 5.

hey fine i get it, women are sexual. the only thing i resent is them being so PUBLIC and OPEN with HOW SLUTTY they are, specifically, how EASY they give it up to secsy chads, guys theyre interested in.

I dont care if you WANT him, MAKE HIM WAIT.

YOU CAN GET PREGGERS FROM THIS. MAKE HIM WAIT. 3 MONTHS AT LEAST. CANT YOU WAIT 3 MONTHS? even 3 months is pretty slutty imho. 6 months is a lot better.

what would you want your tradwife, the mother of your children, to have for her average wait time till secs with Chad? 3 months or 6 months? 3 dates? 1 date? 1 month? 1 year?

and its just disgusting seeing purty young gurls advertising such a Short Wait Time!

but I dont KNOW that! maybe they made those guys wait a YEAR! and NOW they are just showing normal interest in them. public displays of  interest.

this is very likely. i overregister any signs of interest by a woman in chad as “THAT DIRTY EASY SLUT.” i am VERY prone to this COGNITIVE DISTORTION and it makes me feel despair and anger and hatred towards women, and its all based on a false distorted foundation.

its easier for women to replace men because women have a lot of options, and get a lot of interest from secsy chads.

if i had qt young staceys showing interest in ME, i would forget about That Woman SO FAST. but it is VERY hard for me to win/earn that kind of interest from attractive women.

yes i AM a lookist. like i say, i never got feels for a woman who wasnt a 7!

when REALLY, considering my OWN value, i SHOULD be aiming for 5s and 6s! ive said this before! if i keep aiming for 7s, i’m gonna keep getting disappointed!

but Im not ATTRACTED to 5s or 6s!

i have run up against the chapin conundrum hahaha. where i cant force myself to be attracted to the less-than-7s who might show interest in me. not that any have yet!

speaking of 5s and 6s, i applied for 5 and then 6 jobs today hahahahahaha jobsearching neet virgin humor

so in other words, i think every cute young girl is a slut, shit i think every woman is a slut….even when theyre really not. so thats a cog distortion.

whats NOT a cog distortion is that being a slut is BAD. many women will say “THERES NOTHING WRONG with being a slut.” they are bad sluts doing bad things. being a slut is BAD, no cog distortion there. whatsoever. dont get it twisted.

red pill but not black pill hahaha. yes it is hard to put the brakes on once you take the red pill. but just becaue the red pill is true does mean the black pill is true!!!!!!!!!!!

not all women are like that hahahahaha

i mean, not all women are dirty whores making secs vidyas

but all women ARE hypergamous mercenaries just playing the game the way they were designed to play it.  but they certainly dont HAVE to go to degenerate whorish extremes. doesnt mean they have NO sense of right and wrong. they CAN have some sense of morality (though not as strong as a mans) and they CAN abide by some standards of human decency. they dont HAVE to be ANIMALS just because a LOT of them are in the current year.

and now im just bitching about hypothetical, imaginary, fictional acts. fictional women doing fictional sluttiness. as far as the actual transgression against me, that wasn’t slutty at all. it was just cowardly and passive and not even very Evil in Intent. its just cowardly avoiding, which we’ve all done.

and yeah part of muh rage against these fictional sluts is an expression of muh anger against that woman. even though im angry at them for different things. and then im bringing it back around and saying, well if that woman did this, then she could also be a huge slut like all these other sluts, she hasn’t yet, but she probably will.

IT DOESNT MATTER, IT DOESNT MATTER, IT DOESNT MATTER.

because i will never be with her. she can never hurt me again. her sluttiness and her cowardice and her lack of interest will never hurt me again!

well they will hurt other omega men!

but i have absolutely no way to help them. if i TRIED to, it would be creepy af because it would basically involve stalking her, which I’m not gonna do. not gonna do it folks. not gonna do it.

maybe if there were a way to do it without stalking her? but there’s NOT.

besides, she will probably not do this to other men. she will probably be a nice, interested, loving GF like she was to the other guys.  she just did what she did to me not because she has some evil core she’s kept hidden, but because she was confused and overwhelmed and didnt want to deal with the situation.

july 28

not much interesting to say. try to apply to 5 jobs today. want to go to store. do 4.2 miler. HECK how about a 5 miler? yes ok that sounds good. might do some 5 pm nyquil hahahaha. try not to write about YOU KNOW WHO. probably write a little about how all women are Pig Disgusting Whores hahahaha. who fook tons of ingras on the first “date.” off tinder. in cars. and vidya it on their phones. while playing pokemon and instagramming and faceboking and snapchatting and texting lol lol lol idk ikr lol

the reason i am again female sluttiness is because it HURTS PEOPLE. IT HURTS. DO NO HARM.

dont use PEOPLE as PLAYTHINGS. USE ONCE THEN THROW AWAY. NO.

i guess women use weak men as disposable playthings, becuase strong men have used the women as disposable playthings.

i prefer to work at a slow, steady speed

this is a BAD thing in those stupid job personality tests. say NO to this. but dont COMPLETELY DISAGREE because that will flag the “you are a liar distorter” flag for the employer to see. simply just disagree moderately.

slow and steady does NOT win the race. FAST wins the race. FAST and steady. not fast and flustered.

fast and steady wins you a 28k job. maybe even a 8 to 5 if you are lucky! no PRN, no rotating, no casual, no split shifts. they never taught us about these things in college. needless to say, me and my tradwife will teach them in Huhwhyte Homeschool hahahahaha.

whoops mispelled the company in the cover letter. instant rejetion hhhahaah. i am a good speller, just a bad typer. i need a spellcheck that is basically autocorrect.

sheeeeit a 37 minute application. that counts as LONG given muh average of 11.9 minutes.

ok 5 apps good enuff 4 me hahahaha.

hey i didnt ASK for this!

NOBODY ASKED ME!

was very close to getting this stainless steel safety razor. they say its better for irritation. and shaving muh neckbeard can cause some irritation.

job for Robotics Simulator? for some reason i am drawn to Robot jobs and Advanced Manufacturing jobs. this is PROBABLY a sign from GOD that I should TAKE ACTION ON.

i like muh spreadsheet because i can put in links

link to emails, link to evernotes, link to archive.is, link to pastebin, link to just about anything relevant to the jobs in the spreadsheet

want something permanent and ideally your own account so somebody else cant delete the link

just got call from this “advanced manufacturing training” center that i had interview with over a month ago, didn’t get it, now they want to int me for another, i couldnt get to the time they wanted because i have muh other int that day.

also did i mention i got not one but TWO research studies next week which EACH pay 200 shekels. HORRY SHEET. that is the most ever. so yes that is AWESOME. that is BETTER than an interview. 400 dollars for less than 4 hours of stress-free “work” where people are nice to me and asking for Muh Consumer Opinions.

but yeah get muh 12th interview. so the jahb is temporary. ask them if theres any chance of it getting extended, or renewed. also if not, would i make enough money to qualify for Unemployment. Probably NOT hahahahaha. you have to have made a certain floor amount over the past 5 quarters…..and i don’t think you can possibly do that unles you are working full time for at least 13 dollars an hour.

shit. you get all a’s in skool, you do well on tests, being measured, those measurements tell you you are way above average and should do VERY well in life, but then you get interviews, which are like pass fail classes, you either pass or you fail, no in between, and literally 95% of the time, you are going to FAIL. this IS hard to get used to. to do from doing very well, to being an Abject Failure the VAST majority of the time. it IS hard to get used to. when everyone else has succeeded, and in order to get what you most want, ie women, you HAVE to succeed at the test of Working Life, definitely the hardest test of them all. And also most WOMEN beat you at this pass fail test where you fail 95% of the time.

well at least now i LOOK GOOD when i fail hahahaha.

apply to 40 jobs at one Health System over 40 months, i think i might have finally got an interview. maybe.

see im just not USED to 99% chance of failure, 1% chance of success. WELL, ive gotten used to it for sending applications. but sometimes i still get my hopes up about interviews. well, in a couple interviews, for jobs that didnt seem like you would be slammed with weird shit all day and have to be in the hot seat fixing and explaining things to angry people who you can’t tell if theyre being unreasonable or not.

 

 

YOU CANT CALL EM TRAITORS WHEN THEY NEVER HAD ANY LOYALTY TO BEGIN WITH

july 21

sheeit. gonna bite the bullet and install windows 10 already. this isnt gonna go away and its got pretty good reviews, safe to say it is rather windows 7 like, and not windows 8 like.

i mean when huge businesses innovate it SHOULD mean a better product….but it DOESNT. its always a damn gamble.

i dunno. its clearly better than windows 8. but thats not saying much. is it better than good ol windows 7?

well uhhh it will allow me to learn windows 10 in case it gets used in business hahahaha.

if it REALLY sucks i have 30 days to switch back.

but i mean microsoft will continue supporting and updating windows 7 for another few years right? just like they did with XP. they updated XP until damn 2013 or 14.

i might take a real /r/theredpill view towards women here for a few years, just real cynical and woman-hating, women are nothing but bitches and whores,

ok about 80 minutes later, have successfully upgraded to windows 10.  yeah it looks kinda dumb, i like windows 7 better hahaha but at least it saved my shit and i didnt have to reinstall everything and i could get right back into chrome and write about my neuroses and failures and shortcomings very quicky hahahaha.

ok. so just be hateful towards women. got it. down pat. you can trust me. i have been hating women for YEARS hahahaha.

i mean they are more irresponsible than ingra children. accept it, or get assmad about it. you can never change it. all you can do is be a power, authoritative, commanding LEADER of women, and unless you are willing to do that “extra” work, you will never be with a woman.

so i will be theredpill but with a few important differences: I am staunchly pro-white, i am pro-white above all else, I am basically a white nationalist, that supercedes and overrides theredpill (not to be confused with The Red Pill, hahahaha) when it needs to. also white women are needed to have white children, white families, so women are important in that regard.

you can have a good woman if she gets married young as a virgin, has several kids young before her career, and devotes herself to homeschooling those children. and by age 25 she has at least 3 young children and is doing that and has only ever been with ONE man, her husband; and she went straight from her father’s care to her husband’s care.

hard lines. NO HYMEN, NO DIAMOND hehehehe. ONE guy is too many. If youre not a virgin, youre a WHORE.

and plenty of redpill and mgtows and even more extreme woman haters would say this isn’t enough, this is SOFT, because ALL women are whores, and you shouldn’t want to have children with them, stupid goyim. just bang sluts and enjoy the decline.

well i say bang sluts too, but don’t let this sidetrack you from having children.

if you are a powerful enough man, you can afford to have children with whores and still raise them up good. look at GLORIOUS GOD EMPEROR TRUMPENFUHRER. he married a series of gold digging whores but still had many healthy, strong children. well except for his race traitor daughter hahahaha. but his sons turned out GREAT.

also I think his current marriage will last the rest of his life and that she wont try to extort him.

how did his divorces go with those other bitches? I imagine he would AGGRESSIVELY defend his assets from their treachery. did that work out? He can certainly afford top lawyers.

and who do you think has more influence on the children? the flaky bitch mother, or DONALD FOOKIN TRUMP???

Ideally he should have married more traditional women who were serious about being loyal. i think he might have got that with the current wife. hopefully. having a young son never hurts either.

also he made all his kids work in his company from a young age and gain a good work ethic. this is great.

the only place he screwed up besides marrying gold digging whores, was not keeping his daughter from marrying a j00 and damn converting to jooism. bad move don. he’s a smart guy, he HAS to be joo wise, of course he can never SAY anything. maybe he’s playing a long con here. joo the joo. his daughter can divorce the joo, take some money from him, and then marry a nice white man like her brothers hahahahahahahaha.

did the daughter have KIDS with that joo yet? cuz that would suck.

also, were his daughters huge SLUTS? that would also suck.

jeronimus/mindweapon talks about how he schooled his daughter against becoming a slut by going over the song “violet” by that whore Hole, where courtney love whines about being a broken whore. so jeronimus showed this to his daughter as a cautionary tale: don’t do this. and apparently she followed through. I hope she did.

http://songmeanings.com/songs/view/49702/

i refuse to listen to the song, but here are the lyrics, well they are not good, they sound like a heroin whore wrote them hahahaha.  and i can’t get much out of them, other than once men get what they want out of women, the men stop liking you and dump you, leave you in the lurch, hahahaha.

sounds like how women have treated ME hahahahaha.

well not really. im not sure what they wanted out of me. nothing really, they just wanted me out of their lives. well they got that!

and i guess she wrote this song about a bad breakup with billy corgan.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Violet_(Hole_song)

she thought he was a “jerk” but who knows who dumped who. i certainly wouldnt blame him for dumping her!

i do blame him for fooking that crazy whore in the first place!

and kurt cobain should have known better too.

but they were all compromised cuz they were degenerates on heroin all the time.

see what drugs do? they get you mixed up with crazy whores like courtney love.

anyway even women dont like sluts. no woman wants to BE a slut….they just cant control themselves in the presence of a confident badboi.

this is exactly why strong fathers are needed.

but wont the daughter REBEL against the strict father by sneaking out and being a slut ANYWAY? she RESENTS being CONTROLLED? so the father has to double down and be even MORE strict?

maybe in some cases but hopefully not most. i dont think jeronimus was like that and his daughter turned out all right……or did she? is she actually a huge slut but he just doesnt know? almost like being CUCKED by your own DAUGHTER?

anyway its pretty clearly a crazy slut kind of telling how she became a crazy slut, so yeah i guess its a good lesson for a young girl.

but there are plenty of guys who DONT operate like this. but you just dont like them hahahaha cuz women are attracted only to power and confidence, so blindly, that they cant even differentiate GOOD confidence vs BAD confidence.

which makes SENSE, cuz it gets you pregnant QUICKLY. reproduces the species. if you picked a bad man, your baby DIES, and THAT teaches you a powerful lesson, and hopefully you pick a better man next.

and having a good father will keep you from going through that pain.

basically, if women thought long term, theyd never make babies.

i dunno. i just think women could have been DESIGNED better. Compared to women, MEN are designed WAY better. more efficient, more sensible, more reasonable. with women, it seems wasteful, like how can nature LET this waste and inefficiency continue? survival of the fittest! and this is NOT FIT! having babies with any random man!

its ingrish and it definitely gets the babies flowing. r-selection at its “finest.” most species work like this! not only is sperm cheap, but all of life itself is cheap! half of babies DIE! oh well who cares!

but a woman can only have 1 or 2 or 3 babies (most likely 1, hahaha) in 9 months! any other animal can have a damn LITTER of 20 babies in like 3 months! THATS TRUE r-selection!

i guess its best to build a strong bond with your daughter, so she grows up being a real daddy’s girl, so when she’s 18, she wouldnt THINK of doing anything that would BREAK HER DADDYS HEART.

so, company goes to recruiter so they dont get 90000 applications from the dregs of society they dont have time to sift through. pay recruiter whose job it is to sift thru them. say just bring me somebody good.

i talk to recruiter, they mention the clients name and position. they never get back to me. 2-3 months later, i see a posting from the client, for that position, getting hundreds of applications within 1 day. i just dont know what conclusions to draw from this.

flip or flop with tarek and christina. i would bang the shit of his whore wife christina. my god. such a fake blond california uptalking vocal fry skank. but a high class high maintenance skank hahaha. and she looks great despite having 2 children.

i know she’s not really blond but she seems white. HE…..only people ive ever known named tarek or anything like it have been ARABS, and he looks pretty white. what is HE????

why is she race mixing with this arab? but he looks pretty white and their children look white!

tarek el moussa? that sounds REALLY arab.

maybe HES a MIX. his arab father banged a white race traitor slut hahahaha.

well, you cant call em TRAITORS when they never had any LOYALTY in the first place.

http://thearabdailynews.com/2016/01/14/flip-or-flop-hgtv-one-of-my-favorite-shows/

ok his father was moroccan. an arab. they say his mother appears on the show but WHAT IS SHE. i would not be surprised if she was white. do arab christians race mix more than arab muslims? i heard someone say two thirds of arabs are christians. this surprised me. i would have expected no more than one third.

there are a lot more christian arabs than muslim arabs in my area, but they still act arab as fook: obnoxious, loud, rude, macho, hot headed, haggling, semitic, swarthy, overbearing, close talkers, no sense of personal space hahaha.

how many times do i have to tell you im a racist? DEAL WITH IT (sunglasses deal with it.gif)

looking for a hitler deal with it gif, cant find

linkedin can suck my dick too. shitty social network. god damn that pulse of shitty articles. girls who code. code muh dick bitches. phaggy men whining our coding camp was 98% boys, this is unacceptable, we NEED TO DO SOMETHING ABOUT THIS CRISIS AND STOP OPPRESSING WIMMIN OUT OF STEM!!!!!

some phaggot cuck MAN saying this cringeworthy bullshit. yet he makes 70k a year as a senior whatever.

oh god now theres STEAM (not the omega virgin gayming thing) which is were Marxist Antiwhite Jooish “EDUCATORS” are trying to put “ARTS” into STEM.  put arts into stem. how degenerate can you get.

they poison everything they touch with this corruption and evil hahahaha

this is why you need to be confident and tough, because you need to be able to go out and DEAL with the real world, and not let it destroy you. be a happy warrior.

men and women are designed basically to get women pregnant as soon as possible (immed upon puberty at like age 14 or 15 or whatever) and as much as possible. that is why women act so stupid. just back in the good old days they had Responsible Adults to keep them in line. Physically Restrain them. NOW they are being REWARDED for being sluts.

men have always been “sluts” in that they will fook anything that moves. that has never changed. but women are quite like that too, in that they will be sluts to the top 10-20% of men. men, of course, will go MUCH lower, and accept the top 90% of women.

well, i kinda LIKE this “task view” and the option for adding more desktops that is available on win10.

task view is essentially an easily clickable type of alt+tab.

/r/theredpill. women are whores looking for both quick tingles as well as a meal ticket. you cant trust them. youre not SUPPOSED to trust them. YOURE NOT SUPPOSED TO TRUST THEM.

do you need to dress them in beekeeper suits like the mudslimes?

NO, but you SHOULD dress them modestly. no skin tight clothing. no excessive skin showing. no short shorts. no tight pants. no yoga pants. no tiny little tops with milkerz hanging out. nothing too tight. no whorejeans. you can wear dadjeans. you can wear pants. just not super tight, and with a VERY HIGH WAIST. like there was huge controversy when women stopped wearing skirts and dresses. i dont care, just dont wear tight revealing pants.

skirts and dress of course should be longer and not revealing.

and i like the idea of married women covering their hair in public. wearing a Shawl or a Scarf or something.

no beekeeper suits necessary. just DRESS MODESTLY. getting sneaky about those rules will get you punished hahaha.

punishment can mainly be spanking, then head shaving or some kind of public shaming, then tattooing, and maybe exile for the worst.

well im just a spanking fetishist you say. well, maybe i am, but I am very confident that it would be a very effective form of behavior modification hahahaha.

note: i have no desire to be spanked or god forbid DOMINATED or cucked myself!

i do luv the idea of spanking a misbehaving woman though! i would have liked to spank the shit out of that woman, and then we would go on to have a luving monog tradrel.

i think i ALWAYS had a good idea of How Women Were, I was just MAD about it, i didnt want to ACCEPT it, and i wasn’t MAN enough to DEAL with it, and I WANTED to delude myself, but I could never fully fool myself.

thursday night. gonna try some nyquil tonight i think. want to try it EARLY. like 6 or 630 at the latest.

ok took the nyqui at 5:15 pm. a 75% dose which is standard for me.

its perfectly fine to go for a nice relaxing walk AFTER taking nyquil. i basically use it as a SUBSTITUTE for smokin MJ. no joke.  its just nowhere near as good.

kinda funny to apply for 15 jobs at one hospital in the course of a month and not get an interview. i have sent the MOST applications to this damn hospital. not counting all the ones that came BEFORE the spreadsheet. Mst have applied to like 30 jobs in the past cople months at this one place and its ALWAYS a rejection letter. they do send rejection emails. i get them like clockwork for all the applications i submit to this place.

for a damn place that gives you a NICOTENE test.

ivanka trump? is she the one married to the joo? was she a huge slut before marrying the joo? he doesnt seem the type to RAISE SLUTS. the don that is.

peter thiel is a phag? and a christian? wtf?

indeed job alerts. POTENTIALLY one of the most useful features of any job search site, but there seems to be bugs here: alerts not showing up after you create them, the list being 3 pages, then 4 pages, then 5 pages, you cant find the alerts youre sure you made, it just seems really sketchy for a Big Name compay like indeed.

so I think this is a real PAIN POINT for them (hahahahaha) that they simply dont want to spend the money to fix, and will HIDE behind a wall of bullshit self serve support articles and just be like clear cache cookies, try another browser, reinstall browser, restart computer, and see if its fixed. no advice on what to do if its not.

THIS is what passes for tech support. its bullshit and insulting. and its not the level 1 idiots fault. its probably not even level 2 or level 3s fault. its the fault of quality assurance for letting this shitty quality persist, and the management for not giving them the time and money to fix these Known Issues. of course the USERS dont know that they are even KNown or not. but they HAVE to be. but are they? if the company wont listen to them or wont escalate cases?

i was very frustrated when people had legitimate concerns that didnt get investigated. i mean the whole system needed a REVOLUTION.

everyones like change change change. everything rapidly changes every day. dont you realize that this shows you DONT KNOW WHAT YOURE DOING???!?!?!?!?!?! IT LOOKS BAD TO EVERYONE.

just tell us what to say. something halfway decent. don’t make it our job to come up with a million excuses. if we’re supposed to come up with lame excuses, AT LEAST GIVE US THE EXCUSES!

really the truth is, most of the time, we cant afford to spend the time and money to do this. its just not serious enough. not urgent enough. you onyl get to see a doctor right now if youve been shot or stabbed and you are bleeding to death. if things are relatively STABLE, then they are good enough. and all customer service, despite phaggots like comcast saying shit like we care about our customers, its blatant lies, you lose even MORE respect for the company.

cuz customer service is nothing but a COST. i’m amazed they have customer service at ALL and arent like, welp you bought the product and gave us you money. ALL SALES FINAL. NO REFUNDS, NO EXCHANGES. NO SERVICE.

and that’s basically what a lot of customer service really IS!

JUST BE HONEST ABOUT IT!

but i know that will never happen.

women NEEEEEEEEEDDDD good fathers. a woman without a good father is a ruined woman. women are so irresponsible they will basically self destruct unless physically restrained.

so in other words, when you get involved with a woman without a good father, you are ASKING FOR TROUBLE. she might seem great for a while, but it is NOT going to end well.

all woman not having a good father might be THE biggest red flag there is, because it is the ROOT CAUSE of ALL of womens bad behavior.  sluttery, abortion, mudsharking, cheating, abandoning, irresponsible, immature.

a girl without a good father is a TICKING TIME BOMB.

just stay away from any woman who is not a raving fan of her own father. whos first words are not, he is AWESOME.

jobs that force you to ARGUE something that you dont believe in yourself. you’re agreeing with your opponent ie your customer, but you have to argue against them. how do you do this? do some real sneaky joo shit. how come they dont teach this in skool? joos run the skools hahaha. dont they WANT people to work and be tax livestock for them? doesnt that bring in more tax dollars than neets and dindus?

thats what i never understood. so you buy their votes. yeah not really. they are more likely to NOT VOTE AT ALL. and you are not making ANY MONEY off them.

if you really want to placate these people, give them MJ and pvssy. too many people like me and you have an OMEGA UPRISING!!!! hahaha jk. there will never be an omega or even beta uprising, but its a funny meme.

well, jobless thug ingras get plenty of MJ and pvssy. and the joos really do make those things readily available. by encouraging sluts to be slutty.

problem is, us omegas arent benefiting at all from all that cheap pvssy, we’re not seeing any of it, its just as hard for us to get as it was back when women were GOOD.

but it doesnt matter because we omegas will always be a tiny minority. there will never be an omega revolution. much better chance of a beta uprising. more betas out there than omegas. betas can be husbands and fathers. neets and virgins are definition omega.

omegas would LUV to be beta. shit. be nonvirgin, have wife and kid.

to an omega, beta is alpha!!!!!!!!

yep gotta luv the aphorisms. nyquil makes it difficutl to do coherent thoughts. just tired.

me posting on depression forums to my autist virgin early 20s buddy who cant get over his female friend from 5 years ago:
I understand your desire to contact the person. Thanks for sharing. Also good for not actually sending the message, I agree with others here that actually sending it would do more harm than good, and essentially be like pouring salt into the wound, torturing yourself. I have felt similarly though. I just wanted the other person to LISTEN to me, to hear my side of the story. I was willing to listen to them, how can they not be willing to listen to me, when I have so much I want to tell them. I was extremely angry and frustrated and confused at the unfairness of it all. Of course we all know life isn’t fair, but still it was extremely frustrating to be shut out by somebody when you have so much you want to tell them.

But ultimately, in the long run, I fully believe in the efficacy of no contact. It’s really been the only way I could ever “get over” anybody. Although it definitely been a struggle! I struggled SO many times with the temptation of, “If I just email her ONE more time, maybe she will understand, or at least listen to me, or respond to me, or help me get better closure.” When really my root desire was a hopeless hope that she would change her mind and decide to be with me.

Yeah, better communication on her part would have been nice, but I just know if she HAD responded, I would have found something else to obsess over, like “oh you still didn’t understand me completely. Let me write ANOTHER long email trying to explain this a little better.” Which would have turned into another pointless vicious circle.

For me it has finally been one full year of no contact and I can say I’ve made some progress, but I still think about her too much. I feel it will take at least two full years to “get over her” completely, but at least right now I can go through the motions of life and not feel completely destroyed and devasted, so I will take that as an improvement.

Five years is definitely rough. It’s hard to say what is “excessive” and what is normal here. Everybody takes different amounts of time to “get over someone.” I feel like I take longer, and that “normal” people get over people “too quickly.” I feel that when you have real feelings for someone and your heart is broken, it SHOULD take a long time to get over them. These feelings mean something, if not to them, then certainly to you! This is the power of love, in my opinion. It is not some trifling emotion that should be treated casually. It’s a big deal, in other words, and is always a long-term thing.

For me, I figured that around two years was my average. (for “getting over” someone.) So that has helped me manage my expectations and not get too worried when things seem to be moving “too slowly.”

But honestly I think five years is too long to suffer! So I definitely support you talking to a therapist if at all possible. I visit a therapist about once a month and it has been helpful putting things into perspective. Of course a huge part of depression is “cognitive distortions” where we essentially misinterpret things, put things through a very negative filter, and blow things out of proportion, and it’s definitely a struggle trying to fix that.

Also, I think that when you contacted her recently, that may have brought the pain right back to the forefront, and that contacting her again now would just be an even worse re-play of that situation, bringing even more pain back. It’s good to write the message, just don’t send it. I still do that sometimes. In the course of my regular journaling, I will feel the urge to say something to her, but knowing that I simply cannot, I address what I’m saying to her, and go on a rant. I am thankful for the sense of perspective that at least now I know that sending such a message to her would not do any good.

However, I should note that I did essentially tell her everything (or mostly everything) I wanted to tell her, in a series of long emails, that were probably regarded as creepy or pathetic or just too much, which I sent in a period of a month after our relationship ended. I am kind of glad I “got most of it out of my system” at that time…..but I still felt the urge to “scratch the itch” and get even MORE out of my system after that. Also, I have no proof that she even read those messages, let alone really understood them….and I would never get that confirmation for any future contact with her.

TL;DR: I’m glad I resisted the sometimes VERY STRONG temptation to contact her, because it would just re-awaken the pain. It really is like an addiction, as some people have mentioned, and it can be helpful to go “cold turkey.” However, it IS a very legitimate, valid, understandable desire to have the desire to be HEARD and listened to.

But that could also lead to the pitfall of, “OK, now you HEARD me, but did you really UNDERSTAND me,” and you can see how that would be a slippery slope of you being tempted to contact her again. It’s doubtful our unrequited love-recipients would ever truly be able to understand.

So yes I agree, no contact whatsoever is the best thing to do here. And this would include not looking for pictures or news about her on facebook/internet/anywhere. I deactivated my facebook and haven’t been on it in a year, and I don’t miss it. I deleted every bookmark related to her or her family, deleted every email I sent or received from her, essentially tried to delete her from my life. She had done the same thing to me, so I will just do likewise. I just wish I could have moved on from her as quickly as she moved on and forgot about me. But then I remember that love is a powerful force that shouldn’t be gotten over quickly or easily, and I respect the painful process.

We don’t do these things because they are easy, we do them because they are hard!!

I promised myself I would write a short post this time……

Good luck and good job on the no contact!!!! And keep doing what you can to find a good therapist. Even talking to them just once a month can be helpful. Also if you google “no contact” you will find a TON of information and stories on how it has helped people.

END POAST

i just did another post to my other forum buddie, a 31 year old autist virgin on a hopeless job search:
Thanks for the updates, even though it sounds like pretty bad news. 140 applicants for every job? That is interesting, I have asked myself that same question recently, and can’t find any conclusive answers. I do have an anecdote about an entry-level job in my area, paying $13 an hour, and had a well-written job description that painted the job as a good entry-level opportunity “for a college student”, and did not call for 5 years of specific experience, or was not a supervisor/manager job, and basically seemed like the perfect job for someone like me….and apparently many other people as well. The Indeed website shows how many people who have applied to a job (on some postings), and this one quickly received around 1000 applicants in under 48 hours of being posted. Of course, the stream of negative thoughts started immediately and automatically: “oh great, how am I going to beat out 999 other people.”

or, “It’s not good enough to be the top 1%. You have to be the top .01% to get anywhere in life and make $13 an hour.”

I just had my 10th interview of my current job search. All my interviews go “OK”. I don’t do BADLY, but I don’t WOW them with charismatic, electrifying confidence either. I am usually pretty nervous and end up talking too fast, and worry I sound like an “autist” or a “weirdo.” (No offense to people on the spectrum!!!! I am probably pretty close to it myself. I’m simply talking about how “normal” people perceive “awkward, anxious weirdos.”…..which is probably an unhealthy form of all-or-nothing thinking.)

Then I get angry, thinking people in 1980 didn’t go on 10-20 interviews to get one job, they didn’t send out 500-1000 applications, they “simply” finished high school and said “yep, I’m willing to work” and they got a job making average or nearly-average per capita income. (in the US, I believe this is around $28000, which I then translate to about $14 an hour. HOWEVER I am also deeply skeptical of job/employment/income statistics and how they are reported. But I can’t escape the need to measure myself against some sort of number!)

The best thing I did recently was I very reluctantly used savings to buy a modestly-priced suit, with matching jacket and pants, and had them altered to fit my weird-shaped body. Ultimately I was very happy with this decision, as it looks a LOT better than the mismatched, shabby jacket I was wearing previous. HOWEVER, I am VERY aware that this costly privilege is not available to all, but if you can scrape together ANY way to make it happen, I strongly suggest it. Especially if you have a weird-shaped body, short legs, etc, and can never find clothes that fit quite right. You will at least have a little confidence boost from dressing better for the interviews.

If you are at absolute rock bottom, you could probably get a staffing/recruiting agency to find you a job in some customer service or technical support call center. These places are revolving doors of lost, desperate souls. I was one of them once and I am trying not to become one again!

My current “Big Plan” is to try to get training in CNC Machining, which of course will involve agency, time, effort, and money. But in general I am a big fan of the skilled trades as opposed to just about anything else. This is coming from a college grad with a “useless degree” who has lost all faith in higher education (unless it’s in STEM.) Of course, higher education is all what you make of it, and I have long ago lost all faith in my own sense of power to make good things happen for myself! And I am bitter that “college/university SHOULDN’T be like that, because of the exorbitant financial cost! They really take their pound of flesh, isn’t that ENOUGH? But no, NOW you have to go broke AND show the initiative to be a real go-getter?”

anyway, that’s a bit of tangent. I just wanted to mention the idea of Skilled Trades Training in an attempt to get myself to do just this, and also solicit opinions of anyone out there who has hopefully good (but maybe bad!) stories to share about skilled trades training and how it worked / didn’t work in securing gainful employment.

But yeah it’s RIDICULOUS out there. I would just recommend setting small goals and taking baby steps. Even going to one interview is tough. I know you’ve mentioned possibly cancelling an interview because of anxiety / nervousness. I can definitely understand that! I just tell myself it’s NORMAL to be nervous for an interview. Then, of course, I criticize myself after the interview, like “jeez, they’ll never hire me, I was TOO NERVOUS and weird.” But the important part was that I went to the interview and survived. Recently I had an interview with a panel of five people and the whole thing lasted like 80 minutes. After a while, I stopped being nervous, and was like this is just absolutely RIDICULOUS. This is not an executive level job. These people all make a lot more money than this job is paying, and there’s five of them interviewing me for over an hour?!?!?!” and I almost had to laugh. I did not get the job, of course, hahahahahahaha.

There’s not really anything useful I can tell you. I am figuring I will have to survive through about 20 interviews before I get one job offer. So I have made it my goal to get those 20 interviews. It’s like the old saying of How do you eat an elephant? one bite at a time.

Anyway thanks for the update, and please feel free to come in here and vent anytime!

END POAST

not like i have any authority to help these people! but i think it’s good to treat yourself as nicely and as forgivingly, as gently, as caringly, as you treat other people who are in similar pain as you are. SO TREAT YOURSELF THE SAME WAY!!!!! TAKE YOUR OWN ADVICE!!!!!

ok got 5 shitty job apps done. my daily average is now up to 3.32 hahaha so high. this includes days off, interview days, etc. you have to understand, it takes time to find these jobs. you have to sift through tons of jobs to find the 1% you are both qualified for and which you think you could do without K’ing yourself and which pay more than minimum wage. as you can see, i have unreasonable expectations. high entitlement, hahaha.

shooter(s) in munich germany. oh lawd i hope they are mudslim isis refugees. hard to tell from the vidya. i see a whitish arm on this one shooter. 3 shooters. well gotta be isis then.

david duke running for us senate….hey now! i am in full support of this. i would not trust duke with muh wife or daughter, but he has a great pro-white message and he is def the most well-known huhwhyte nationalist and him running for office is a pretty big deal.

i mean shit there is a huhwhyte nationalist political party but nobody cares about it. like any of the other 6000000 little parties in the US that never win anything EVER.

not so dear person:

come on. you always would talk shit about your horrible former friend, who became a crazy alcoholic. bipolar borderline alcoholic that would rather go on disability than work, and then continue drinking, and would cheat on her fiance who she pretends to luv, and he is a loser too, with his job at lame retail store. like you can get anywhere in life working at this lame retail mall store!

well what do you think of me now, who cant get a job anywhere, and now you are more successful than me, able to tough it out much better than me in our tough job and other tough jobs like it. now you are moving up while I am moving down. do you think i am a huge loser like him, like her? i remember when i used to be a good influence on you. you were right to cut those people out of your life. but at least you would respond to them when they would bitch at you when you refused to let them use you. couldnt you just respond to me? i wasnt trying to use or manipulate you! i just wanted to TALK about what was hapenign to our relationship. havent you ever had feelings for someone who didnt have feelings for you? how would you want them to dump you? would you want them to treat you like a monster for feelings you didnt choose to have?

sheeeeeeeit.

yeah i mean i would like to see DAVID DUKE FOR PRESIDENT.

I dont donate money to david duke because he’s a gambler hahahaha. But I have listened to hours of david duke and his message is on point. he is a very wise man. i even encouraged That Woman to listen to David Duke, he’s a good person to start with if you want to get an idea of the wild stuff I’m interested in.

I have donated money to TRS who technically had David Duke as a guest on fash the nation. didn’t they?

I GLADLY give MONEY to 1488 White Supremacists. I don’t know how much more clear I can be about this.

also today july 22, hit the Big 300 mark. the 300th job applied for of muh job search.

not exactly but close enough.

but i will be reduced to working at mall retail and being cheated on by a crazy alcoholic bitch hahaha.

so why was that woman friends with this girl to begin with?

because she’s passive and lonely and will take whatever friends she can get.

but she can still recognize bad influences and get them out of her life, rather than be dragged down by them.

and i hate being one of those types of peopel.

but i WASNT.

but that’s how she treated me.

but I WASNT. she just treated me that way because she didnt know what else to do. just ran away. not an uncommon response. i have run away from responsibility too. MANY times.

but yeah its a mindfook and a soulfook. i mean i USED to be a bad influence but i dont think i am any more. plus this girl just sounded obnoxious. like a total USER, like do this thing for me or were not friends anymore btich.

i would never do that to somebody. all i wanted was to TALK.

well, i wanted her to BE WITH me. but i didnt expect it. i didnt feel entitled to it. I knew it wasnt gonna happen.

breaking up is hard to do hahahaha. what are the best practices. if i ever get in another rel again, and i cant imagine ever having that connection with a person again, and say she wants to dump me, i will say BABY we are going to the THERAPIST so you can dump me the RIGHT way.

people need OUTSIDE HELP in dumping people the RIGHT way.

do they REALLY though? well, SHE sure did! a good father would have been good enough to teach her.

don’t blame her, blame her FATHER. so she wasnt a crazy slut like most fatherless girls. BELIEVE ME, her fatherlessness was something i took notice of IMMEDIATELY upon meeting her. yep, shes got no real father, watch OUT for this gurl, she’s PROBABLY a crazy slut. then i found out she really WASNT.

but her fatherlessness found different, more unexpected ways to express itself. namely, unable to deal with conflict and responsibility.

gunman shot himself. kind of a white thing to do. oh god i hope its not a right wing nationalist white guy. some racist who hates all the migrants.  only solution is to bring in more migrants! BAD germany!

neo nazi BOOTS?? wtf are you talking about?

sheeeeeit i would like to get some neo nazi boots, because my enemies already consider me a nazi, and i would probably vote for hitler anyway hahahaha. the older i get, the more i like hitler hahaha. uncle adi.

germany is FINISHED. its SAD. I dont want germany to be finished. to fall to the damn isis caliphate hehehehe.

well a country like poland will be much stronger I think. poland is not sick and dying like germany is. although they are less “wealthy”. and people in the UK HATE poles because poles are like mexicans to them, flooding into the UK and taking jobs and not speaking english. and of course i dont like seeing whites turned against whites like this. well the brexit might help with this. i mean poles can always go to france and germany. im sure they do. ideally i would make poland great again. i LUV poland, always will.

they are gonna be like, look at these crazy gun toting white racists hating other races. welcome mohammed, fook my wife and daughter please, white man go bye bye now, we’re so evil, we dont deserve to live, the world is better without whites, i cant wait until we are all one big brown mud race.

is there some way you can PAY to find the best job postings? i dont mean the ladders.com. i mean just good solid entry level 13 dollar an hour jobs that arent total bullshit and lies. that go to real actual decent average entry level jobs. there is a theory that many job postings arent even REAL, its just a SHOW to make the economy LOOK better than it actually is. smoke and mirrors. keep the unemployed from revolting.

but they’re more likely to just stop job searching and K themselves than revolt!

leave the labor force. then they dont get counted at all. which is stupid. you SHOULD count the discouraged workers/job seekers cuz it measures a very important thing.

you literally do not COUNT as unemployed if you STOP SEARCHING for a job. become a NEET.

GAS THE NORMIES NEET UPRISING NOW

hahahaha

im no prize pig myself, but these damn women act like the worst bratty CHILDREN. assuming children could fook guys and be sluts.

i’m pretty BAD, but I’m still better than these women!

They LIKE the “Drama”! where drama just means them being horrible slutty brats and breaking hearts and lying and cheating! they LIKE doing this SINFUL business! They LOVE SIN!

Like da joos, because they love sin, they are satan’s representatives on earth hahaha.

but hey, i used to love sin and degeneracy too. until i was like 26 years old.  therefore, i can’t expect any woman under 26 to be any different.

i cant believe it took me so long to wake up. but at least i did. some people are still asleep during their 30s. at least i was a few solid years before 30.

sheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeit.

not so dear women: you’re NOT ALLOWED to treat sex as casually as you think All Men treat it, because you can get pregnant from sex! MEN CANT!!!!!! It doesnt matter that you can just get an abortion! The issue is what your BODY is CAPABLE of! Your body CAN get pregnant! No man in the history of the world has EVER gotten pregnant!

MEN CAN”T GET PREGNANT! ONLY WOMEN CAN GET PREGNANT!

therefore, women HAVE to be more CAREFUL about sex!

YOURE WELCOME.

are all women so stupish or whorish that I NEED to mansplain such basic stuff to them.

GOD I HOPE NOT. I hope this is just a projection of my anger at HER, angry that shes out fooking guys rather than responding to me. you can fook 60000000 black guys, just respond to me . just dont treat me like a piece of GARBAGE when we were REAL friends.

This is what One Year of Getting Over It looks like hahahahaha. One Year of no contact.

it takes two years i reckon.

like a damn jail sentence. just take it one day at a time and in two years i will be finally free at last, free at last. and thankfully, unlike prison, i dont get assraped every day.

o shit why havent i been looking at CRAIGSLIST for jobs?

hey there is some promising stuff here.

but it is just weird how they DONT EVEN MENTION THE NAME OF THE COMPANY. that always bugs more. that bugs me MORE than not listing a salary range. WHY CANT YOU JUST SAY THE NAME OF YOUR COMPANY? it just seems shady as fook. they do tell you the name of the city though. oh thank you master.

sheeeeeit. 7 applications today.

you think i dont realize that adult grown up mature rels are a ALOT OF WORK? takes a lot of EFFORT to get through the good times and bad? of COURSE i realize this!

and it sucks when someone wants to give up on you, and you want to FIGHT to keep them. you wish they were willing to fight for the rel too. but they just dont luv you any more. if they ever did hahahahaha.

not only do you need to be willing to fight……but BOTH of you need to be willing to fight! DAMN!

found some guy selling MJ on craigslist.  probably not a good idea hahaha.

found a tranny skank in my town saying he/she wanted a random hot guy to piss down their throat. i can suk u off afterwards too if you want. and then showing photos of the tranny skank dressed in womens underwear and bending over. jeeeezum crow. WHAT A WORLD.

going on craigslist looking for STRANGE MEN to piss in your mouth FOR FREE, because that gets you off so much, because youre THAT fooked up.

do these people get any responses? I would like to do a documentary on these people. the desperate loser men who say HELL YEAH SIGN ME UP FOR THAT! and then document both ends of the degenerate, desperate, disgusting transaction.

maybe that woman does stuff like this hahahahaha because she has no father.

noooo there are barely any “w4m” casual encounters…..AS IT SHOULD BE.

my FAITH IN HUMANITY was AFFIRMED to see the tiny number of w4m listings. amazing that WOMEN on CRAIGSLIST could boost my confidence in human decency!