DO YOU REALLY **NEED** TO BE WITH 4 GUYS BEFORE YOU GET MARRIED?

june 25

saturday, beautiful day, wont be able to enjoy beautiful days when you are WORKING, hehehehe. so sad.

well try to apply for these Premium Sweet Jobs today. I set up DAILY alerts on indeed for muh top companies so that I get new jobs THE DAY they are posted at this company. protip, do this.  if you can sign up on the company job site for alerts as soon as new jobs are posted, fine, but some companies dont let you. because they dont know how to Properly Source Candidates hahaha. thats why they pay Recruiters to make job postings FOR them. good god. its STUPID.  and you see how dumb the recruiters are. how can you have RESPECT for a company that uses such sleazy recruiters? its UNPROFESSIONAL and EMBARRASSING.

you are a fortune 500 company and you cant do better than hiring a shitty mushmouthed recruiter who searches for resumes on indeed and careerbuilder for a list of technical WORDS ????!?!?!?!?! a recruiter whos never done a technical job and has no idea what the companies REALLY want or need, but then neither does the company, because the managers at the company don’t really know what their technical people DO either.

kind of like it was embarrassing for our company to have woefully undertrained peopel on the front lines simply acting as messengers for the Hidden Elite who didnt want to take calls.

well, to be fair, when a case was actually escalated, then the Elite would make phone calls as they worked on the case. and plenty of them found ways to be jooish about it. like i called you once for clarification, you were in a meeting, therefore i couldn’t get clarification, therefore i am closing the case. call one of our clueless tier 1 people to try to get it re-escalated, and then we will start working on it again in 48 hours from THAT.

and just the fact you can’t really talk to your coworkers and really LEARN shit because you are ALWAYS ON THE PHONE. the queue is always at max level. they will send people home if there are not a lot of calls. rather than say TRAIN THEM MOAR.

shit. she got a new job even though her linkedin profile is full of spelling and grammar and punctuation and logical errors. because companies are so DESPERATE to put bodies in call center seats. I just hope she’s taking stupid calls, feeling like she’s DROWNING, and not a stupid LEVEL 2 who’s essentially pushing level 1’s heads under the water, because she doesnt know what to do, but she’s not part of the punished caste who has to take those calls and forced to give the runaround and be like sorry, nothing we can do, no you can’t speak to someone else, no I can’t tell you why we can’t help you, just that we can’t, sorry, no you can’t dispute or appeal this, i mean you can TRY calling back and hope you get a better level 1 than me, but you might get a worse one too, sorry sorry sorry, nothing i can do, please hang up now because i’ll get in trouble if i hang up on you.

then you just give up and hang up on them and hope you dont get caught hehehe.

i actually never did that. but i might have transferred people to a level 1 person of a different department who PROBABLY could not help them either and PROBABLY transferred them right back to my department, hehe.

i hate to overestimate how much i mean to women. like i think a woman really values me…..but they don’t.

this is why this takes TIME. for example, the fact that we were friends for 2.5 years. we HAD that long term time together to know this just wasnt a passing phase for her, like so many dicks on the coch carousel, like so many pseudo relationships and lovers thrown away and replaced like robots.

no. we hung out over time and i began to TRUST her when she said I was one of her important top tier friends. she didn’t have many fake shit tier friends anyway. she would just leave those people anyway. like she eventually left me hahahaha. but they were drunks and drug addicts and real losers. and apparently i was just as bad as them.

and she was so moral she didnt even FOOK these losers hehehe. such a GOOD woman. congratulations, bitch, you dont fook obvious losers. what a SAINT. you get a fookin PROMOTION for not making babies with drug addicts. so EXTRAORDINARY and AWESOME of you not to abuse your SACRED RESPONSIBILITY with the WORST POSSIBLE men. im so PROUD of your ACHIEVEMENT.

bitches and whores!

i tried to watch “some like it hot” yesterday because i heard it was really good….but it was both ultra corny and degenerate. i dont like that degenerate WHORE marilyn monroe. why do you NEED to be with SO MANY guys? you DONT! you DONT! i just dont like her. jack lemmon and tony curtis were all right…..but do you notice how the agent who books them is very obviously a member of the tribe?  and i bet this damn movie was written by one too.

written and directed by billy wilder. i KNOW he was a J. total J from southern poland / galicia. born samuel wilder.

MARILYN MONROE WAS NOTHING BUT A DEGENERATE WHORE.

so i hate it when other women praise her as some awesome women. when she was nothing but a degenerate whore.

the hateful way i talk about women, its a red flag!

NO ITS NOT! it means I still know how to discern a good woman from a degenerate whore!

and its so sad to fall in LOVE with a good woman and then she starts sliding down to degenerate whore, and nothing you can do can stop it, because she doesnt care what you think.

heh. i am watching a stupid program about marilyn monroe. that whore fooked EVERYBODY. her first husband, a normie working class man. just used him as a meal ticket to advance her pornographic career.

then fooked EVERYBODY. huge hefner. joe dimaggio. arthur miller. tony curtis. marlon brando. john kennedy. bobby kennedy. frank sinatra. dean martin.

do you REALLY need to fook TEN guys in your life? NEVER!

 

i’m sure these men saw her as a Hot Mess who was an Easy Fook. so they pumped her and dumped her. especially near the end, once it was more obvious what a piece of shit she was.

women don’t even understand this. so next time you see some woman praising marilyn monroe, calmly, coolly mansplain to them what a degen whore she was, and if they dont end up agreeing with you, pump and dump the broad. just like what happened to their degen role model. some role model. a role model for being a degen whore.

well i wont drink again but i would totally abuse other drugs heheheh. i could totally abusing benzos because they chill you out like alcohol.

i dont want another woman to be muh wife. i dont want to be with any other women.

and since i cannot be with her i will hate her and hate all women hahahaha.

like i said i am in a TOTAL WOMAN HATING PHASE right now for at least another 6 months. till the end of 2016.

well i dont hate all women. just i dont have any interest in them other than banging the qt ones. and i dont have the power to do that. the only woman i really luv, that is done, and i am still grieving that. DEAL WITH IT.

IM dealing with it, by being in the middle of the process of grief. trust the process, RESPECT the process. so now YOU can deal with THAT. i know you WOMEN don’t understand GRIEVING for a Lost Love for a YEAR. cuz people, love, secs, hearts, relationships just dont MEAN that much to you. you people.

i mean its definitely in the latter half of that grief. the grief is not nearly as PARALYZING and DEVASTATING as it once was. but i still dont want to be with anybody else. I cant see anyone else replacing her. and i WANT to replace the SHIT out of that bitch hahahaha. i want to forget i ever met that bitch.

i mean she can replace ME, of COURSH i want to replace HER!

but i just dont think thats possible right now. i still need to wait more TIME, and THEN find someone who is SO awesome that they make me forget all about HER.  for a guy who does not meet many women, let alone attractive women, let alone get along with them REALLY WELL, this does not seem super likely. let alone women who do not want to be with more than 3 guys before getting married hahahaha.

oh i dont NEED to be with more than 3 guys, i just WANT to! secs is FUN you puritan prude! its FUN!

no its NOT FUN, its the Sacred Life Creation Process! The fact that it makes your cl1t FEEL GOOD is a BY PRODUCT!!!!!! muh feels muh dick muh cl1t muh tingles. you fooking INGRAS.

yes, i will concede that most degen normies think sex is FUN, but its only FUN so as to MAKE people WANT to do it so the SPECIES REPRODUCES. its fun BECAUSE it creates life. NOT because its JUST FUN.

tell the women, do you want your MOTHER to be a slut? what would your MOTHER say if she knew you were a SLUT?

ideally you would say father, but women dont have fathers, or their fathers are deadbeats who dont care, or pvssies who can’t influence shit.

so yeah ideally when a woman is a slut, she AND her father should be publicly flogged, then her head shaved.

WARNING: ONYL LISTEN TO THIS BORING ALBUM IF YOU ARE HAVING TROUBLE SLEEPING

for some reason i was called to put this album in muh listening queue. melodic death metal from finland. i havent even listened to it. but i hear it is melodic and melancholic. death metal. melodeth. i hope it is not too modern. i hope the singer has a deeper voice and not a higher voice. i guess there’s probably not any blast beats. and it is very Clearly produced. not sure why i was called to listen to melodic death metal at this moment, and in particular this band. maybe cause i have heard of them for a while but never listened to them. and i like finns.

it may suck or more likely just be boring and overrated and boring hahaha.

i am starting to get bored of goatwhore again, their later albums are better than i initially thought but they are kind of growers and the riffs dont SHOW as much as on the earlier albums.

anyway this insomnium could suck. another thing i have on the queue after this amon amarth. who i sorta know what they sound like. melodic viking death metal. but i want something more melancholic. but its gotta be CATCHY.

so yeah. if all your mansplaining isnt helping a gurl understand that being a slut is BAD….pump and dump.

how would you feel if your mother is a slut? many times the mother IS! but that doesnt mean the daughter cant feel bad about it!

how would your mother feel if you were a slut? if the mothers a slut, she might not care.

just ask them how many abortions theyve had!

just ask them how many guys theyve been with!

I do regret not asking those questions directly of the 2 sluts i have been with. like after you banged them hard and they are cuddling with you and fee dominated and protected by you, you just ask. say babe, how many guys you been with.

then theyll say, what do you mean been with?

then come right back with, well i mean sex. whether its short term or long term. one night, one month, one year, friends with benefits….ANYTHING. How many guys have you had secs with. whats your NUMBER.

her: why do you want to know?

you: i’m just curious. I’ll tell you if you tell me. I just want to know how special I should feel now, or if you’ve done this with lots of guys, hahahahahahaha.

her: SHUT UP.

and then bang her again. maybe blast it on her face. take some pictures with your phone. or videos. you can put them on the internet later. send them to her mother, father, boifran, grandmother, children, friends, etc.

then ask her again.

so, you didnt answer my question. what’s your number.

must be pretty high if you dont want to tell me! what are you, some kind of slut or something? what, you been with more than 20 guys?

and then you might get them to admit theyve been iwth 10 or 15 guys.

STILL TOO MANY.

anything mroe than THREE is TOO MANY.

more than THREE, then theyre a SLUT. PERIOD.

they dont take sex SERIOUSLY enough.

they dont have RESPECT for human LIFE.

thats why they throw people away like they arent even humans.

they have sex with people and it means NOTHING.

they have relationships, even long term, with people and it means NOTHING.

they are sociopaths who stop just short of overt violence and murder (except for abortion!) and are satisfied “just” to break hearts in torturous, obscene, evil, satanic, j00ish ways

WOMEN: SERIAL HEART KILLERS. 

torture porn. its not just disgusting jooish movies. its the jooish way women have sick pseudo relationships and Mutilate and Desecrate Human Hearts, leaving a trail of ruined men in her wake.

again, this is why you always ask the woman if any of the men she’s dumped have K’d themself. not that they’d tell you the truth, hahahaha, but they will know you are on to their wicked game!

200th job!!!! 200th job application!!!!

actually probably a bit more. its just the 200th application acceptance email in my applied jobs folder folder, since i Got Serious with muh job search in april, about 2 months ago hehehe. sheeeeit march 21, about THREE months ago. 200 jobs, 3 months. 65 jobs a month, hmmm i can certainly do better than that hahahaha.

well remember i would often slow down on weekends and also days where i had interviews.

great post on daily stormer , quote:

I ran into a man today who I knew growing up, he was a few years younger than me and now 30 at the time of running into each other.
As a young man I remember him as highly intelligent, hard working, honest and reliable.
I ran into him while taking my daughter for our evening walk (I walk and she sits in the radio flyer with her stuffed animals)
He was in a neighbors front yard pushing a lawnmower for a living.
We said hello and I asked what he’s been doing in the years since we last spoke.
Poor guy tried college but couldn’t afford it, military wouldn’t take him due to chrome’s disease as a child, corporation’s wouldn’t hire him due to no college and therefore no experience, city employment never panned out because the lists are drawn randomly with set minority hire quotas per random (white) draw.

We said goodbye and as I walked off I nearly shed tears for this poor guy.

This is the plight of the American white male, we have no future in this America.
I am fortunate enough to be a very inteligent and hard working person, and I have very lucrative employment.
But had it not been for my time in the military; I would most likely suffer the same fate as this young man I happened across.

I see this everyday, hard working, smart, honest white kids working for minimal cash in no skill jobs.
That’s all white men are entitled to these days – if we’re lucky enough that a Mexican doesn’t beat us to the job.

The people who have done this to us will pay one day.

The prosperity of this nation belongs to the white youth.
Our ancestors built it, and it belongs to us.
We refuse to share our prosperity any longer.

In my brief conversation with him I hinted at my white pride and pointed out that his woes are due to the color of his skin and he agreed.

We need to target the young men of this nation to join our ranks, it is they who suffer the fallout of this j00 democracy worst of all.

He and all white men like him are in my prayers.
I would like them better my side in revolt.

END QUOTE

same guy says: Good fathers make faithful daughters.

GOOD FATHERS MAKE FAITHFUL DAUGHTERS. 

took 4.44 miler

that insomnium…..i deleted it hehehe. i guess try the amon amarth nao.

so this is insomniums highest rated album, people raving about it. it sounded nice and heavy but…..it sounded just like a more boring version of DARK TRANQUILLITY. and you know why I stopped listening to THEM? BECAUSE THEY GOT TOO BORING!!!!

so this is like listening to the latest dark tranquillity albums.

dark tranquillity was a great band who had several GREAT albums: the gallery, projector, damage done, character, fiction, haven.

great band, great albums.

and there songs are way more memorable and catchy.

and then eventually they lost their luster and became less inspired, more boring, going in circles, not sounding so fresh.

i mean its good to listen to in the background….but metal is not good background music, you need something chiller. but the insomnium just doesnt GRAB you.

yes the production is good, everything is technically good….but dark tranquillity did this a LOT better on THEIR good albums.

also i like it when finnish bands dont sound so swedish. dont play it so safe. have something a little weird and finnish about them. insomnium did not. they just sounded like boring late era dark tranquillity. NO THANKS.

i mean it didnt sound BAD. i could see lots of metal fans liking this because it’s heavy, its melodic, it sounds good. but the riffs are boring and not catchy enough. INTO THE OVEN IT GOES. disappointing.

this amon amarth better be a lot better. “with oden on our side.” just pagan viking beer drinking stuff. they have been around forever but i never really listened to them. always coming out with new albums, occasionally even touring and playing shows in muh citay.

today i thought: i am to blame. she would have treated me a lot better if i had just asserted myself like a MAN and put her in her PLACE. passed the SHIT TEST in other words. been like this ends now, you don’t treat me like that. i guess you can slap the bitch in the mouth (not advocating violence or abuse hehehe). so whats the RIGHT way to put a bitchy woman in her PLACE like a MAN? cuz they LIKE a strong man who can put them in their PLACE! i imagine you cant get too MAD because that means youre losing control.  uhhh you treat them like they are the bratty sister. you can’t be like the stern father because the father CARES too much. it MATTERS too much to him.

do you just say shut the fook up bitch, you dont talk to me like that. yes. say that, but say it with kind of a smirk.

so if i had done that, been assertive, she would have chose me?

if i had STOOD UP to her BULLSHIT, the woman of muh dreams wouldnt have LEFT me?

i MADE her leave me because i was weak?!?!?!

i KNOW women HATE weak doormat men. but i still dont think I  MADE her.

but i sure wont be such a damn DOORMAT again and will handle SHIT TESTS better. be like stop this bullshit bitch, you dont treat me like that, you little brat. then give them a good spanking and then a good pounding.

if good fathers make faithful daughters, it only makes sense that bad father make UNfaithful daughters. IN GENERAL. she had a bad father. she hated cheating and she had never cheated…..but was she FAITHFUL to me, in the sense of being LOYAL? in the sense of being there for me, not abandoning me? shit NO! could I ever TRUST her again after this? FOOK NO!!! this is not cheating or betrayal….but it DOES destroy trust. and its kinda like a quasi-betrayal.

june 26

note, the dark tranquillity damage done album is a good bit heavier than the above projector album, and damage done is a great example of what insomnium seems to be aiming for…..but falls woefully short.

projector has more clean singing and is not AS heavy….but it is still great with great songs. classic songs.

maybe im confusing insomnium with omnium gatherum. maybe that is supposed to be the good one.

applied to 3 jobs on a sunday hahaha. if i want to get up to 100 jobs a month and not a mere 60, got to shoot for 3 jobs every day.

another thing i am going is grading/ranking each job posting with a grade, a, b, or c, as i bookmark it. it is a quick decision. then put a b c and any other notes in the title of the book mark

so i can quickly identify the jobs from that list that i really want to apply for, and do those first

had soem kind of weird nightmare last night that i had to force myself awake from

would still totally bang and date that woman, want to bang her more than i want to bang any other woman, she is still the secsiest woman in the world.

OBVIOUSLY i try to destroy these thoughts. because I will NEVER bang her, and many other guys will / are. get that big white ass bending over for their coch o god. TOO MUCH. and she cant even RESPOND to me. because i am a WEAK, supplicating, doormat who women hate. they disrespect this even MORE than I, the worlds biggest slut-hater, hate sluts!!!!!!

i honestly want to bang her more than some beautiful 20 year old gurl. that woman and her weird face and weak chin and 25 year old body. this is what True Luv does. Makes you want to bang this one woman, above all other women, even objectively hotter ones, for a solid YEAR after you never see them again.

you havent seen them for a year, yet you still luv them and find them hawtter than some 20 year old aryan goddess in a wheat field. this is the bond, attachment, addiction of true luv!

well at least i applied to 4 jobs on a sunday, while my competition is…..working 7 days a week hahahaha. really i have a work ethic that is WELL below average. Why do I think I deserve to make the AVERAGE wage of 14 dollars an hour?

i guess a good way to respond to shit test is to do the “suck it” “crotch chop” saying that you couldnt take the person LESS seriously. but what if it IS a serious issue? tell them to SUCK IT anyway. because you dont take them seriously. if they leave you you dont care, you have a STABLE of BETTER women. women who are THINNER, YOUNGER, PRETTIER, and DRESS better. make fun of her WEIGHT and her CLOTHES.

i was always nice to EVERYONE.  i didnt learn until i was like 21+ that being nice to women doesnt work. I had my suspicions but I still grew up treating EVERYONE nice. then wondered why women didnt like me hahahaha. i had to unlearn what i had learned in other words, get out of my comfort zone, and LEARN/practice how to treat women like shit, hahahahaha. i still have a long ways to go! because i could not be more single and lonely hahahaa.

TREAT EM LIKE THE PIGS THEY ARE!!!!!!

they just HAD to be with 4 or men before they were married, because SECS IS FUN!!!!!! #YOLOLOLOLOL

because you dont HAVE to get preggers because BIRTH CONTROL.

this is the way they think. muh dick. muh tingles. muh cl1ts. muh multiple orgasms, multiple partners.

fooking ingras.

why is the one with the super K-selected BODY so r-selected in MIND?

why is the one with such a HUHWHYTE body so INGRISH in mind?

well, theyre not like INGRAS per se, more like CHILDREN.

and ingras are kinda like children too.

ok will go for a 4.44 and listen to DARK TRANQUILLITY. hell i would rather give the newer dark tranquillity albums (we are the void, construct) a try than listen to that totes boring insomnium again. i mean i guess their hearts are in the right place, but why would you devote so much time and effort of your free time to making such boring music? better to stay at WORK, make MONEY, and have some more damn finnish CHILDREN guys. Just retire now and have more KIDS. you are getting a TERRIBLE return on investment for investing your time and effort in a BAND. most bands are like this. men who work hard and then they sacrifice their PRECIOUS free time to make mediocre music nobody likes. NO JUST NO. hang it up and just have CHILDREN instead.

a mediocre white CHILD is 900000000000000000000000000 times better than a mediocre white band. 

accepted a linkedin invite from a Bliggity Black Sales Rep I have never met.

really. being in a band is SUCH a time committment. here you are, an adult man making 20 dollars an hour, working 50 hours a week, and now you’re gonna commit at LEAST 4 hours a week to this BAND and musical stuff? if not 8? coordinating the efforts of 3 or 4 or 5 working men to meet After Work, Practice, Rehearse, etc. being in a band is not worth it unless you are a total loser at life AND are VERY talented musically.

i mean most guys in bands are making 20 dollars an hour at least as skilled tradesmen. not making minimum wage like mcdonalds ingras and neets.

so focus on making children and you will be a better FATHER than you are a MUSICIAN. MUSIC SUCKS.

did a 4.44 miler, should have done a 5 miler

it doesnt really matter that i was a weak pussy who didnt stand up to her. that STILL doesnt give her the right, still doesnt mean she’s RIGHT, still doesnt mean i deserved this, OR made her do this, OR brought this all on myself. it is OBJECTIVELY, ABSOLUTELY IMMORAL to throw away someone when you KNOW them.

it’s still immoral to treat someone you DONT know like garbage…..but it sorta makes more sense. people who barely know each other fook each other and throw each other away all the time. its HARDER to throw someone you actually KNOW away. you have more of a CONSCIENCE about it. and RIGHTFULLY SO! AS YOU SHOULD.

its almost more acceptable, less immoral, if you dont really know the person. but when you DO know the person. WOW. it takes extreme coldness to be able to do that to them.

like i could see myself pumping and dumping some slut now, just treating her like garbage and throwing her away, using her as fook meat, and then ignoring her forever……but NOT IF I KNEW HER!!!!!!!

just a crazy degen slut you meet, quickly fook, fook them a few times, realize they’re too crazy and you dont want to fook them any more, so you just ignore, avoid, block and Ghost them. but you never really KNEW them. you never really LIKED them. you werent REAL FRIENDS with them for ALMOST THREE YEARS. lucky if three weeks.

blockchain sets the same transaction fee whether you send 50 cents or 50 dollars. stupid. i assumed it would be a fixed percentage of the amount you wanted to send. apparently not.

 

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FEMALE PROMISCUITY IS A WAY WORSE MORAL THREAT THAN G4Y SECS (pt 2)

june 11

hahahahah i just donated 1 dollar to STORMFRONT hahahahahahaha via bitcoin.

nothing wrong with stormfront even though TRS is kewler. I have spent a few hours reading stormfront in my life and I will probably spend a few more. even though they make 5000 dollars a month which is way more than i will ever make hahahaha.

now i donated 1 dollar to counter currents. i am really TAKING OWNERSHIP hahahaha in the pro-white resources I have taken from in muh life.

http://bbs.dailystormer.com/t/an-appropriate-view-of-women-vs-mgtow-and-r-theredpill/27754/1

FANTASTIC hahahaha

http://archive.is/VaJfB

not sure if these pages can be archived

donated 50 cents to internet archive because even this is an important thing to do. even if they archive antiwhite pages. hey also archive prowhite pages.

https://web.archive.org/web/20160611171651/http://feministing.com/2016/05/03/things-that-are-sexually-ethically-weird/

hehehehe dont read this stupid and triggering article

well archives dont capture disqus comments which is unfortunately.

donated 1 dollar to tradyouth which i think matthew heimbach is still associated with. not sure how close they are to traditionalist workers party.

sheeeit anyone else I can donate to?

managed to apply for 4 jobs on a saturday hahahahaha. the county lets you apply for the same job twice. nothing like you’ve already applied for this job. you could apply for the same job, same job NUMBER, which probably is not a GUID or something like that, ie a totally unique identifier. multiple times.

applied for county job in the county MORGUE where there would be probably lots of exposure to DEAD BODIES. JEEZ.

i can investigate the white trash teenage whores who die of fentanyl OD’s hahahaha. maybe I would come across THAT WOMAN on the morgue slab hahahahahaha. no thats really not that funny. I was implying that she would get into painkillers like her white trash peers. and she never was. but with white trash, its always a risk.

i guess I could donate to MPC. or Red Ice.

is there some kind of SLPC, antifa, doxxing campaign where you try to identify who owns what bitcoin address? because people put their btc addresses online. and anyone can look up any btc transaction. including mine hahaha. and see that i have donated to daily stormer, trs, stormfront, counter currents, all pro white racist stuff hahaha.

be like hey managerz look who muh real name is donating money too hahhaha. he is a NAZI. i dont care if people think im a nazi…….unless those people have POWER over me or they can SLANDER me publicly. i dont want random people to know i am a nazi hahahahaha. when i am semi anonymous then yeah. but openly, with my real name? only if we are INTIMATE longterm friends!

or the FEDZ now have me on a LIST because they can see that I sent BITCOIN to WEEV, who the feds put in prison and I think destroyed his home? I don’t think I’d like to be Roommates with Weev, but he is a very fascinating guy and I am very glad he is on Our Side, and I think he’s gonna stay on our side. And on the off chance he doesn’t, then I will stop giving him $5 a year hahahaha.

maybe THAT WOMAN will betray me by going on the internet and saying my real name is a nazi. hahahaha. no Im not even worried. she doesnt want anything to do with me. and she doesnt CARE than Im A Natzee.  she might even be a little racist herself. i could have molded her hahahahaha. into perfect aryan waifu who had only been with 1 or 2 guys before me hahaha.

who cares, its over. it dont matter. had some nyquil hehe. average dose now is 75% of the 30 ml dose.

june 12

wow, mudslim kills 50 people in mass shooting at gay bar in orlando florida. 50 people?!?!?! just a few hours ago they were saying 20. how does it go from 20 to 50?  horry sheet. this might be a great thing and make gays hate mudslims hahahaha just as mudslims hate gays. OR there could behuge gun grab laws in florida and elsewhere, which would be bad.

” Associates Degree is about the highest level of education the hiring manager would like to consider ” hahahahahahahahahahahah thats a new one, havent seen that in a job posting yet, till now. for a job that also calls itself “entry level” ie exactly what i am looking for.

i dont understand this. do they think the bachelors degree people are a “flight risk” because theyre gonna find a better job right away? well one look at my resume will tell them I have been underemployed consistently, if not unemployed hahahaha, for the past 11 years hahahahahahaha. no flight risk here!

just for that, i will DEFINITELY apply to this one.

ok sunday. got 16 job tabs.

see, on sundays, i don’t really want to apply for any or many jobs, but i do want to look thru indeed and find the New Job Leads.

so i found 16 and then BOOKMARKED ALL TABS and saved them in a NEW FOLDER of bookmarks with the date.

i think I should use this as a way to make a “to do list” of current jobs. just find a ton of jobs, add them to that folder, and then delete the shit from the folder when I apply.

heh i increased my monthly donation to fatherland and also wrote them a message:

quote

Dear Fatherland,

Sorry for the ridiculously small and insulting d’nation. I hope to increase it as I eventually improve my situation.

I wouldn’t mind seeing more in-depth, roundtable discussion on: what is a set-in-stone dealbreaker, vs what can/should we compromise on, when it comes to selecting/vetting a wife, and evaluating her character and her past.

For example, how many N is too many? (N = Number of “partners”.) 3? 5? 10? I want to say 3-5, but I might have to be more flexible on this.

How many nonwhite N’s are too many? I really want to say 1 is too many. But say you know an outlier, a woman who’s only been with 2 guys total, but one was black.

Also, abortion. How many abortions is too many? I want to say 1 is too many, kind of like race-mixing. I am staunchly pro-life (Catholic!) and abortion horrifies and disgusts me. It’s also insidious how it is framed as a religious issue, rather than a simple issue of life and death. You don’t have to be religious in order to find abortion abhorrent!

Anyway, I think modern women are so brainwashed, they don’t even understand how their own bodies work, and they truly don’t understand the moral implications of abortion, and truly think of it as removing a clump of cells, and not murdering a human life.

For example, say the woman has had one abortion, but eventually came to understand the sin she’s committed, and repents for it, and vows never to do it again, and has arrived at a deeper, more appropriate respect of human life. In this case, I would be willing to compromise on the Zero Abortions rule, compared to a woman who got multiple abortions and just doesn’t care.

And finally: single mothers. How do we know if she’s learned from her mistakes, or not? Some men have found single mothers who turned out to be great, loyal wives, and they’ve shared their stories on the forum….but I don’t think this is the average single mother…is it?

Basically, I view sex as the Life Creation Process, and I think many women (and men) lose sight of this. They don’t have appropriate respect for life or the process that creates it!!

OK that’s enough ranting! I am just speaking as a prospective husband and father who has had to make some difficult decisions and compromises with women. How much is too much? Where should we draw the line?

Have any of you guys had to make a very tough decision about a woman’s morality and suitability, (bonus points if you were painfully dumped at the end of it, hahaha)?

Ever been dumped by a decent woman, and how was that worse than being dumped by a not-so-decent woman?

Also do you have any ideas about communication between the spouses? I am a huge fan of communication in general. Easy to say, but sometimes very hard to do. What if someone is “Stonewalling” you or giving you the “silent treatment”? And what starts off as a “cooling off period” turns into “avoiding dealing with a problem indefinitely?” I had a situation like that, and when I made a move to communicate about it and try to fix it, the woman just walked away, and I was upset she couldn’t even make an effort, couldn’t communicate.

Anyone have experience dealing with someone who just didn’t want to make an effort? You can lead the horse to water but they absolutely refuse to drink? I am willing to lead….but they have to be willing to follow too. Also, it’s good when they are willing to work with you when the going gets tough, rather than just walk away. IMHO, this is what loyalty and commitment are all about!

If you can see my real name from Paypal, please don’t dox me, hahahaha. I am blabla on the forums in case you were wondering, but please don’t mention me at all, hahaha. I prefer being very low-key. But feel free to talk about those broader wife-selecting questions on the show. No need to respond to this message either.

I have to wonder how many Fatherland listeners are aspirational, prospective husbands/fathers. I would wager a guess of at least 30%. We realize that family and children are the best way to live out the meaning of The 14 Words, and I think that’s why we like your show so much.

It is my #1 show on TRS, that’s for sure. I have listened to every episode, and I hope to listen to many, many more!!!!

end quote

the original message was longer and contained more personal information hahahaha basically regarding me and that woman. how you could really be on the fence about her because she has at least two very big strikes against her………..but still the pros probably outweigh the cons.

i guess deep down I probably wanted to have a private discussion with the men of the fatherland about That Woman and for them to reassure me…..or not. would they say well she’s just a filthy mudshark, no WAY she’s only been with 2 guys, you dodged a bullet son…..and then I’d say but REALLY. she REALLY WAS only N=2. she’s REALLY an OUTLIER here.

that, or theyd say I fooked up by being too unmasculine. what you’re HOW old? damn son you aren’t gonna have many more chances like this! better start aiming for the 30+ single mothers!

i mean its a complicated story. lot of moving parts. lots of ins and outs. lot of calculations that can be made.

i edited out a lot of the personal details. It took a lot of guts just to send them that shorter message!

because this is a complicated situation. most women who have been with black guys have been with LOTS of black guys. not just 1 out of 2 total. that alone puts her in the top 1% of mudsharks. far outlier end. she might even view it as a mistake, then LEARN from that mistake. which itself is not typical mudshark behavior. which is more like, once you go black, you dont go back hahahaha.

so i screwed up. so it was all my fault, these fine men will say. yeah well i already KNOW to be more masculine and direct in the future. plus i dont think it really was ALL my fault.

basically, even if it were ALL my fault, it wouldn’t change ANYTHING. not even the lessons learned. it would just make me feel WORSE hahahaha.

but my point is, some women you have to go into painstaking detail. normally being with a black guy is enough to automatically disqualify a woman, becuase where theres smoke, theres fire. except when there isn’t, and the woman has enough good qualities to outweigh that. and she did.

yeah well DECENT women dont DUMP men they way SHE did!

hehehe the only way i could fully MANSPLAIN MYSELF is to go on the show, and I dont want to do that. Well…in an ideal world, where I was a confident normie, I would. But at this point in muh life, I wouldn’t want to put myself out there, on that show. I would be much more willing to do a NEETCAST however. because im closer to a NEET loser than to a 1488 husbando and fathero. dadfu. dadpai. hahaha. FATHERO hahaha fatherpai fatherfu i dunno. fat hero.

you think theyre gonna grab guns in florida!!! there are some proud white gun toting rednexxxx in florida!

how many mudslims are in florida? Also this guy was born in the us! thats what I’m saying! its YOUNGER mudslims, age 20 to 30 as of 2016, that get into this! no one over the age of 40! they didn’t HAVE radical mudslims 20 years ago, they way they do now! well, they take over countries, they take over iran, pakistan, afghanistan, iraq, etc. but now its really moving into the WEST in a way it hasnt done before.

hmmmmm not sure if that message i wrote actually got sent along with my paltry dnation hahaha. oh well I can always email or message them if i really want.

technically had a dream with her in it last night. she was not in it for very long. tons of friends i have had in my life appeared. i saw her for 2 seconds and she was nice enough to me, but she was also walking away, seemed in a hurry to get away from me. kinda like the last time I ever talked to her. she was cold and distant to me the whole time and I walked her to her car and she acted like she could not wait to be rid of me. and that was it. that was the last time i talked to her in real life.  hahahaha. sad story bro. in the dream she was a little nicer but still in a hurry to walk away from me.

and THAT is how she wants to be remembered? she couldnt walk away in a LITTLE bit better way than that? couldnt even say SORRY, i KNOW this HURTS, but i can’t take it any more and have to walk away? just say something. jeez.

basically I got a bunch of tabs from looking at the days listings in indeed.  I made this my main focus for like an hour and came up with a bunch of tabs. I was gonna find all the jobs for the day and THEN work on applying to them. I “bookmark all” tabs into the indicated folder. Now I can come back to each posting later. this folder of bookmarks becomes my new to-do list which I can of course replenish when I look at the new postings every 24 hours. throw some more bookmarks in here. and then apply for as many as possible.

I then name a note in an ongoing notes file, like a journal, of the date, the 4 or 5 jobs i applied to that day, and any ideas or notes, like, i applied with The Packet this time, etc.

and then 90% of the time you get a confirmation email. move that to an “applied jobs” folder so you can get a rough estimate of how many jobs youve applied for.

I guess you can save the bookmarks too, or delete them. right now I like deleting them.

and then hopefully you start getting another round of interviews again.

but tonnes of MJ would be good for this whole stupid process. that is only overtaken in stupidity and gayness by actually working itself hahahaha.

yeah just focus dead set for 20 to 30 minutes at looking at a looooonnnggg list of 1000 jobs and determining the jobs you should apply to. when you find one just keep going, you will apply to it later, after you get done with this scanning the list task.

and once you have a list of jobs, just apply to them in a blind rage until you dont even have to think about any more and you are just moving FAST like a MACHINE. you should be able to get thru 5 pretty fast even if they are long and stupid. you will have muscle memory at which files you need to copy and paste to and from.

and some applications will be a lot quicker than others.

and as you do multiple applications with one company, it will usually save the shit you did the first time.

I also recommend making monthly donations to people or causes you support. makes  you feel like you are a vital part of it ahahahahhaa.

like i give a dollar a week to CHURCH, I should be able to give a dollar a week to people I actually LIKE, like millennial woes, or trs, or fatherland, or daily stormer. so give them each .25 a week hahahaha. im using their stuff anyway. enjoying their content and work. why NOT give them a donation.

once I adopted this mindset, I found myself becoming more generous. jsut donating to shit that I USE but dont really PAY FOR. like give a “tip” to archive.org becuase I use them sometimes and they provide a useful service. give a tiny “tip” to “the document foundation” for providing the libreoffice software that I and many others use. Im not gonna give them a LOT of money, but just a LITTLE money. I gave archive and libre 50 cents apiece for example.

and I am onyl giving 50 cents per MONTH to MW and fatherland.  prob try to do the same for TRS. giving .10 euros a week to daily stormer. its just a bunch of TINY donations which I want to do on an ongoing basis. makes me feel like a real STAKEHOLDER in the important work of important people. this is how i make a difference in the world. by making tiny donations to people who ARE making a difference in the world.

i mean Im grateful that I am PRIVILEGED enough to donate. so I SHOULD donate, eh? its kind of like tithing. Shit I give tiny donations to CHURCH anyway! a dollar a week! 50 bucks a year! why can’t I match that with 50 bucks a year to some causes I really care about? ie racist nationalists hahahahaha. so I am gonna do that.

When I actually MADE money I would give 5 dollars a week to church. And ideally I will start MAKING money and be able to give more to nationalists. people that are serious about the 14 words. people who are creating jobs for muricans hahahaha.

when TRS or daily stormer becomes a big media company in god emperor trumps new amerika, they will see I supported them, and then reward me with an entry level job making 14.88 an hour hahahahaha.

JUST BECAUSE YOU NEED SPACE DOESNT MEAN YOU DONT NEED TO COMMUNICATE

june 5

sheeeeeeeeeeeit.

oh wow found technician job with large manufacturer which the previous generations all started wokring with as soon as they were 18, worked 40 years, raiased white families. now to get a job there you have to be a damn super engineer with a great attitude hahahaha. and above average engineering school performance hahaha. gone are the days of working on the LINE for 40 hours a week and making 20 dollars an hour for tightening a screw, and getting fat and drinking on lunch break and having kids in the white suburbs and getting drunk all weekend hahahahaha.

yesterday i learned that the sleeping stuff in nyquil might be correllated with dementia hahaha. the md doing the study recommends not taking it regularly at all. like me taking it several times a week hahaha. might even take it tonight!

http://archive.is/jAc2e

heh. i guess evalion is a wh0re, she broke this little betabois heart. hahahah stay away from wh0res.

any 18 year old cute white gurl who likes showing her face and body on youtube, getting youtube orbiters and fans, and she talks about nazi 1488 stuff…..totally crazy. would mudshark. would cheat and cuck you. should be treated like any other degenerate wh0re: shamed, shunned, avoided, and forgotten. find a GOOD woman, not a SHITTY woman.

yeah just dont trust any woman on youtube saying gas the k1kes. ok i dont mind wife with a purpose, because she doesnt say gas the k1kes, shes like 40 years old, and has 5 kids, and has been with her husbando like 20 years.

http://bbs.dailystormer.com/t/bbc-whites-need-not-apply-for-trainee-position/32816

well daily stormer isnt private yet i dont think.

oh look the ingredient in nyquil isnt the same one in bendryl which causes dementia.

so i dont WANT a gurl like evalion the mudsharking narcissist sociopath bipolar borderline camwh0re. i want a gurl like That Woman wawawaawawa.

and if i had been a stronger healthier more well adjusted man, i could have had her. but i was too weak and she lost all respect for a weak man, AS SHE SHOULD. As All Women DO : Weak Men Don’t DESERVE women, let alone GOOD women.

if i had been better, stronger, more manly…..then i could have KEPT her. I wouldnt have pushed her away with my weakness, and I would have had a good white wife to have beautiful white children with, and we would luv each other till def do us part hahahahahaha.

because women are not like regular adults. they are somewhere between a child and an adult. closer to a child tbhfam hahahaha. and its just bad when an adult leans on a child. the child cant support an adult during the adults time of need.

june 6

had dumb dream with THAT WOMAN, well its been a few days so i guess i can expect 5 straight days of dreams with her hahaha. in this one i saw her and she was civil to me but also cold and emotionless. i was seething with anger below the surface and being very passive aggressive right off the bat. possibly she was Going Back To School. She talked about how she was doing great with her Husband. Oh, your HUSBAND? I didnt know you got married. Well, he’s not my husband yet, havent had the wedding yet.

then she says he works at this place I was at earlier in the dream where I was assisted by a very friendly normie alpha male who was mixed race. But he had strong white features and was tall and strong and quite handsome, except he had mocha brown skin and frizzy hair. He was very friendly and charismatic and confident. Seemed like a decent guy.

I described the guy and she said yep thats him!!!!!!! squeeeeeeeee!!!!!!! And I thought, well it figures she is in luv with a nonwhite hahahaha. but he actually seems ok and is more of a real man than me.  he is going to college to become a NURSE.

10 years ago I would have thought this was gay, but now I respect it. If you get a BSN degree, you can go far in life. ANd it takes a dedicated, hard working person to do that, and usually a moral person too. I know there is a stereotype about nurse women being batshit crazy, but I think the ones doing the more “hardcore” nursing of the BSN are….well they’re still crazy, but I think they are more moral too. not dirty pill popping cheaters.

also the Previous Woman did a BSN and she became hugely successful and had a great work ethic and she was decent to me.

so her HUSBAND was on a good career path. her handsome, big, strong, mulatto husband she was head over heels in love with. she doesn’t do much but hang out with him, she really luvs him.

So you gonna invite me to the wedding? probably not uh? (i was so passive aggressive.)

then she started getting more angry and said NO, because you didn’t even lift a finger to try to stay friends with me, you made no effort to stay in contact with me, I figured you didnt want to be friends anymore,

then I exploded, wrong wrong! I was heartbroken because YOU threw me away like a piece of GARBAGE! I thought YOU wanted nothing to do with me ever again! I was putting effort in and begging you to put effort in, but you just ignored and blocked me!

she just rolled her eyes and said whatever, repeated her thing about me obviously not being invested in the relship, then she ignored me and looked back to her College Studies to indicate this conversation was over, and I was enraged hahaha.

i recall she looked sluttier in the dream and maybe had some tattoos, where in real life she didnt look like a slut at all, and had no tattoos.

so i was furious, and i was being blamed again. i wanted her to admit some responsibility. not blame it all on me.

there was an earlier part of the dream, after I saw her big tall strong handsome mulatto Husbando, then I actually saw her in some back office, where she was working peacefully near this other woman I went to grade school with, who I should have pursued because she seemed like a really nice gurl hahahahaha. when we were 12 and 13 years old.

somehow we were talking about religion of all things, and I was like, so you guys like MARY? The Blessed Virgin Mary, Mother Of God?

and they were both like, no, not really, don’t really care for MARY that much, I can take her or leave her, pretty indifferent tbh, no big deal, idk, ikr, lol.

and I was just dumbfounded at this casual attitude towards MARY. i thought it was kinda disrespectful and disgusting.

of course, only CATHOLICS put a huge emphasis on MARY. I imagine other christians just dont think about Mary much. but STILL. the womens attitude in this dream seemed more disrespectful than some protestant who doesnt think about Mary a lot.

maybe it symbolizes how I really like Mary and she is my role model for Women. so it REALLY rustled muh jimmies to hear women saying, yeah i dont really care about Mary. Cuz essentially Mary is my IDEAL WOMAN hahahahaha.

heh. if someone wants SPACE from you, its ALSO their responsibility to define that SPACE and tell you exactly what they want you to do or dont do. and not use it as an excuse to avoid you indefinitely and avoid talking about your mutual issues indefinitely.  thats not SPACE, thats RUNNING AWAY. dont RUN AWAY and call it NEEDING SPACE. you have to COMMUNICATE.

yeah you can push away someone who initially just wanted space……but taking the space and never communicating looks a lot liek running a way. fook looks like, it IS running away.

go ahead, take your SPACE…….but COMMUNICATE!!!!!!!

just because you have space doesnt mean you get to treat the person with SILENT TREATMENT and avoiding!

because you want to know whats going on and i wanted space, now YOURE the bad guy and I get to upgrade my Space to the Silent Treatment and Blocking you entirely!

you want space, youre gonna have to show some GOOD FAITH and give some sort of detailed statement. write me a damn two page paper. more than 5 sentences. be sure to include a time when this ends. stop hiding shit from me. i will give you space but you gotta tell the WHOLE truth.

un fookin believable. pay 5 dollars to get a PDF of my Official Transcript but then it EXPIRES after like 7 or 8 weeks. 50 days I think. WOW. JUST WOW. And now I can’t get back into my own fooking transcript that I paid 5 dollars for a fooking pdf.

well I dug up an “unofficial” transcript. damn.

heh. now I have a 10 page “PACKET” that includes:

long resume, long cover letter, list of references, 2 letters of recommendation, and now “unofficial” transcripts of university undergrad and “postbacc” 70 credits of “useful” business and “IT” classes at “College.”

sending this shit out for 10 dollar an hour jobs hahahaha.

maybe that woman is going back to skool to finish her bachelors degree so she can get a better job and doesnt have to work in a 15 dollar an hour call center the rest of her life hahahaha. while her mulatto husband gets a BSN and they are madly in luv with each other forever.

OH WAIT, THAT PART ISNT REAL.

That’s another problem with these dreams. they are essentially more real to you than the reality, because this is all you get.

i just hate getting BLAMED FULLY for this. I dont mind sharing the blame. I will admit some responsibility. but i really want her to admit some responsibility too. don’t blame this ALL on me. im not even sure shes doing that. And I will NEVER be sure.

ooosh only 3 jobs applied today. looking at the jobs and feeling very low confidence. bad.

ok 4. with some “hip” outdoor company that asks what kind of music do you like on the fooking application. fooking phaggots. music is for DEGENERATE PHAGGOTS.  i was honest and told them the sick metal I listened to, because metal is now Cool and Gainfully Employed Millennials Like Metal, and also told them the Cool Guy Nonmetal stuff as well.

DESPAIR FORUM POST

Bless you for being willing to be there for him and to stand by him during this tough time! It warmed my heart to hear that there are people like you in the world. Depression is such a big factor in the end of so many relationships, and so often, it seems like the depressed person is blamed for pushing the other person away, or expect the other person to “fix” them or “cure” them, etc.

And I am sure this does indeed happen! At the same time, however, I am a big fan of making an effort to solve problems, and making an effort to communicate about things, and to put in the work to improve a relationship, rather than just dumping a person and leaving them in the lurch. So I am glad you are giving him a chance, rather than saying “Not my problem! You’re too much to handle! I’m done with you!”

BUT severely depressed people CAN be overbearing on their partners! And I think he is responsible for communicating with you. I have a pet peeve about silent treatment. I hate people ignoring and avoiding me. You can have space, but don’t try to avoid me indefinitely. I can’t read your mind. (I guess I am speaking to someone who recently hurt me by dumping me using avoiding and the silent treatment.)

Anyway, I am the world’s biggest fan of communication, and that would clearly be a very important thing to do here. But how do you make someone communicate, who doesn’t WANT to communicate, when you are very much wanting to communicate with them?!?! I wish I could tell you. I had the same problem. It seems like the classic “you can lead a horse to water, but you can’t make them drink.”

So maybe let him know you will be there for him, but you are really worried, and starting to become frustrated, and you would really appreciate if he communicated with you after X days of “space.”

I don’t have a problem with needing space, but when the other person uses “space” as an excuse to avoid communication indefinitely……that infuriates me! And “space” is NOT a valid reason to avoid communication indefinitely. Ideally, the person who wants space, would also agree to communicate throughout the period of space, and also agree on a firm date when the “space” would come to an end.

I wonder if he would be willing to write you emails while he is having his “space?” I am a big fan of writing emails because a lot can be said in them. Important stuff that one might be too nervous to say face to face. Sometimes I get so emotional or afraid that I can’t say what I want to say, how I want to say it. So I prefer writing the person a long letter or email. Maybe he would be willing to do that. He’s got to be willing to do SOMETHING. Maybe he’s not strong enough to “meet you halfway”, but if he can’t meet you at least 1% of the way, then the relationship becomes totally one-sided.

I know if I were having problems with a loved one, I would be desperate to do whatever it took to keep them from leaving me, hahaha. I really don’t like being left, haha. But something like making an appointment with a therapist and having a group meeting, so the therapist can ideally help communication between both parties. Of course, me being willing to do this still wasn’t enough to keep the other person from leaving me. If they want to leave….there’s nothing you can do to stop them.

Sorry, that sounded terrible! I am just coming out of a relationship where the person was not willing to put in any effort, and I was willing to do whatever it took to save the relationship. They left me, and I was ridiculously devastated for months.

Anyway good for you to be willing to make some effort during the tough times, but also try not to let him have power over you with his silence and stubbornness. Easier said than done I know! Maybe he would be willing to write you emails and to give SOME kind of meaningful communication while he is having his “space.”

Good luck and please keep us posted!

END POST

woman dealing with her desparing boifran, who has clammed up and wants space and she wants to support him but he wont talk, and she is afraid and frustrated. I was just glad she was WILLING TO PUT IN EFFORT and didnt just say pffft fook this shit ima find a stronger better man, this should be all fun all the time. a woman willing to STAND BY HER MAN through GOOD TIMES AND BAD. that is a damn beautiful thing.

i dont want to get in a rel with anyone because i cant imagine WANTING to get in a rel with anyone but HER even though i havent seen her in 11 months hahahaha.

i can envision banging sluts though. casual hangouts. this IS degenerate  but its 6000000 times more degen for the women than the men. i dont need to tell YOU why, but I do need to Mansplain to Women: Because Women Can Get Preggers!

and this is why so many people do casual secs, because they dont WANT a rel, and it hurts to think SHE is doing exactly that, having casual secs with guys because she doesnt want a rel. she is out there being a degen slut when i wanted her to be waifu 4 lyfe, mother of muh white children. she is just a casual slut. and most women are. or go through large periods of their life where they are casual sluts. same thing.

and i can’t even talk to the other 30 year old virgin males on despair forums who talk about maybe trying to practice on MILFs from tinder, without catladies on DF saying dont dehumanize them and treat them like low hanging fruit!

in other words women causing drama because they dont know what to say to men with Gurl Problems. This stuff needs to be in a MEN ONLY forum because women really have nothing useful to say here. They either Shame, or they give useless, wrong, if well-intentioned, “advice.” they cannot possibly understand what the man is going through. but other men, like me, DO. i give them much better advice hahaha. like i hear ya man, its rough, ive been through the same thing, women think im weird and i havent made out with a gurl in 10 years and even back then they thought my lack of experience was weird. so i say bend the truth and just try to get some experience with this milf. there will probably be stupid drama and flakeouts, but it will be some experience and hopefully you learn a little more about dealing with women’s bullshit and can be more confident when you approach more attractive women later.

and if 40 year old catladies read that, they go rabble rabble rabble and get all butthurt hahahaha. i mean i can totally see why. they cant handle the truth, thats why hahahahahahaha. the truth hurts. yeah the truth hurts me too. basically that i am not valuable enough to pull a woman as valuable as THAT WOMAN. she was OUT OF MUH LEAGUE. and i thought that her having no father, and her fam being a slightly lower Social Class than my fam, would help my odds a little bit, hahaha.  maybe if she were a huge slut, were a few years older, and had at least one kid, then THAT would help, hahahaha. oy vey.

 

 

 

 

REMAINS OF A LOST DEAD CURSED RUINED SOUL

june 17

met with recruiter. he was no older than 24 years old and had a Portfolio Binder proudly displaying his Alma Mater, which was the Main Rival of My Alma Mater. We called them Idiot Jock Meathead Racists who would be working for US, they called us sissy stuckup snob autist phaggot nerds who don’t know how to pull pvssy. there was no mention of alma maters hahaha. the young man was very nice and had good People Skills and Communication Skills. I explained to him that I was “intentionally looking to move in a different direction than an inbound call center role” had he said “I understand” hahahaha.

they want 1 or 2 MORE references from THAT place. they want 3 references from the last 3 years. I said YESH OF COURSHE I’ll give you some more references from the tech call center. so now I gotta do that. like it’s pretty clear they are gonna call them. maybe they will be like, i am sick of giving references for this asshole, why doesn’t he just get a JOB already, fook it, plus I’m already giving references 8 hours a day for all the people we laid off while also looking for a new job myself because I am laid off, lets let this one slide, besides, he left 11 months ago, why didn’t he just take that job at the healthcare tech call center a few months ago like alot of our people did. what is he holding out for the perfect dream job? he hasnt paid his dues yet! just look at his resume! look at his age!

Thank you for applying for the position of Administrative Program Assistant with the cityname. At this time, your application was rejected, as your submission does not meet the minimum qualifications as listed in our job description and advertisement.

OH WOW what a bunch of assholes. that is the most dick asshole bitch rejection email I have gotten yet! its basically saying YOU DONT KNOW HOW TO READ and YOU ARE LESS THAN THE MINIMUM.  if i had thinner skin I would maybe take that personally hahahaha. i have received MUCH more polite rejection emails than that. usually saying thank you for your interest and don’t get discouraged.

i was driving around afterwards in this very unfamiliar part of town cuz i kinda like that “field trip” exploration aspect of exploring unknown areas sort of near my home, and i approached a roundabout with a bike path. Like an asshole I advanced into the bike path. I saw a guy coming on his bike so i said oh shit and backed up to try to get out of the bike path. i was not fast enough and he slammed on his bike brakes and almost fell off his bike. it was a light skinned black man who did not look thuggish. I backed out of the way and said SORRY IM SORRY out the window to him. then I very sheepishly got the hell out of there. he did not fall off the bike but it looked like he was having trouble with the brakes of the bike. i just got the hell out of there at that point, muttering SORRY SORRY SORRY. I might be a huhwhyte supremist, but I don’t want to cause blacks to be thrown from their bikes because I don’t know how to Share The Road. plus I am not great with New Roundabouts, which this was.

anyway I felt bad, he seemed like one of the decent blacks, and I didnt want to hurt him or damage his nice looking bike.

then i took my field trip into J00land, driving down a street that had a lot of J stuff: yeshiva, Joo senior living, jooish apartments, I even saw what looked like an orthodox jooish woman driving a crappy old minivan with a hebrew bumper sticker. I thought hmm I thought no joo would be caught dead driving such a shitty car, but I guess these orthodoxes arent as filthy rich. Also this area in general has a lot of blacks too, so I can’t imagine joos wanting to live around here. so there has been some jewish flight, but there is plenty of j00ish infrastructure here from a generation or two ago. synagogues and schools and such. including one bigass temple that has lotsa joos probably coming from a few miles north where the housing and pubskools are a lot nicer.

but yeah da joos moved out to nicer place where there is a fancy jooish community center. I should check that out some day.

the one thing I like about da j00s is they have a very strong community. stuff like joo camps for kids with Leadership Training programs, where the kids are basically shown how to Lead and Succeed in life. then they succeed, make lots of money, and give back to the JCC. you basically have a real presence of very rich and successful professionals who are also very socially active in the community centers, and with the youf and teens. to help them get into good Colleges, and to Design very very viable Career Paths, get good internships, get good jobs, build good resumes, and steer them the right way when they go astray. stop smoking that MJ yitzak, that is for the shvartzes. Here, get a summer job with cousin moishe and make 15 dollars an hour and he will write you a great recommendation letter to get into harvard business school hahahaha.  and you can drink manischevitz with him after work if you want and molest children at the JCC hahahahahaha these fookin abominable perverts hahaha.

i GUARANTEE there is some child molesting at these place, probably at a higher rate that what goes on in the catholic church for example.

in fact i recall hearing a news story a few years ago where a camp counselor at this fancy JCC was arrested for child pornography hehehehe. but i dont think it was of actual children at that JCC.

I am a SUCKER for children, I don’t think even the children of inferior races should be hurt in any way!

horry sheet, looks like millennial woes is speaking at npi 2016 in november in dc. that is, they are flying his neet ass over from scotland to come to the us, and if I went to NPI, I could probably meet him hahahaha. there will probably be a couple of TRS guys there too.

250 bucks to get in with “MILLENNIAL PRICE” 100 for people under 30. check your millennial privlege reeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.

well i hope this doesnt soften MW. it would be nice to meet him tho.

it would be just plain nice to go to NPI, its prob the biggest Alt Right Event. i mean yeah they let nonwhites in, and ramzpaul slobbers all over “khazar milkers” of ratface J’s, and jack donovan fooks men like women, and they band matthew heimbach because he’s anti-gay, and allow roosh to come in and patronize them hahahaha.

but they still have kmac and woesy and f roger devlin, having henrik and lana again, they are good people. makes you want to get your own tradwaifu and start your own pro-white media empire hahaha. well i dont trust lana entirely, i am not really jealous of henrik, she seems like she could get really annoying hahahaha. so he can have his beautiful blond wife to have babies with hahaha.

lotta inside baseball, either you know these people or you dont. i would like to see basicalyl everyone from TRS, and also andrew anglin and weev. not sure if richard spencer gets along with them. probably not. its hard to keep track of who hates who hahaha.

basically i want there to be a TRS conference hehehe. and or daily stormer.

it costs 900 dollars a month to keep the TRS server running ahahaha.

hehehe got up at 7 am so i am a little tired hahaha. but it is a beautiful day, 88 degrees, perfect temperature hehehe. sunny. want to get some sun, vitamin d, gives you better health and confidence.

unbelievable. i REALLY triggered the host of the fatherland with my 25 cent donation hahaha. he could not have taken that a worse way. he thinks it is either insulting trolling, or, assuming that i am in good faith, which I am, that uhhhh i shouldnt even bother hehehe. THANKS. that feel when you want to join a group but they dont want a loser like you as a member hahahaha. becuase i couldnt donate 20 dollars like the one guy. he was gonna mention first names but he didnt because his internet was not working, but it sounds like he might mention first names later in the show. good lord. this is embarrassing. and he might mention me next week when he finds out i upgraded to 50 cents, and then bitch about THAT being not good enough either hehehe.

i mean yeah I probably COULD afford more but i don’t feel comfortable giving more because uhhhh no income at the moment. maybe he is implying that if this is all can afford to give….then maybe I’d be better off just saving the money for myself hahaha.

WELL FINE I just cancelled my monthly donation because I cant handle the BANTZ of the successful winner normie white fathers. cmon guys i just wanted to be like you hahahaha.

well to their credit it was mainly jim who was really triggered, the other guys didnt seem to care.

maybe this is a sign saying LOSERS DONT DESERVE TO FIND A GOOD WIFE AND REPRODUCE.

what about reproduce with a bad wife, hahahaha.

obviously what we need is a neetcast, this is a slap in the face of neets who want to become normie husbands and fathers, but are having trouble winning that struggle. achieving the success you need to attract a decent wife, and have children. the healthy happy normie dads wont let me in their group, im too much of a neet loser for them, so maybe i better just try hanging out with other losers hahaha.

of course im overreacting, just as jim was overreacting, and even he probably doesnt really CARE, he’s got better things to worry about. but if he doesn’t want my money then FINE hahaha I cancelled it. I will still send anonymously with btc then.

this is the trouble when dealing with fascists hahaha. i like fascists but they do not like me because i do not represent EXCELLENCE. fascists dont like losers in other words. heh.

but yeah i am not THAT butthurt….but I really dont want jim to mention even my FIRST name, and then start harping and moaning again. fine you dont want the money, i wont give it to you then hahaha.

he’s a good guy, but he is the type to get rustled by such a stupid thing!

maybe this obsession with having children and being a father is just a temporary phase that I will grow out of in a few years hahahaha.

that would be kinda sad though. i dont want to be an antinatalist loser the rest of muh life!

i was already rejected brutally by the woman i wanted to have 14 children with! jeez JIM! cant you be NICER when rejecting my DNATION hahaha.

so i am the RIFFRAFF who they dont really want as a member of such an EXCLUSIVE movement.

there was a young man in a TRS helicopter shirt spotted on some local tv news footage at a trump rally in texas. a handsome, young, fit looking winner. exactly the type of guy TRS wants representing. I mean I agree as well. but I dont personally live up to that standard!

but again this is just bantz i suppose. there are some neets on trs. but probably not a lot listen to the fatherland!

so yeah in a few weeks i wont even care and no one will remember hehe. i just hope he doesnt mention my name in this episode or the next episode. even if he does, i will blush and feel horribly embarrassed or maybe fast forward to the end of him bitching and kvetching about it, then continue to enjoy the show.

i just wanted so show a token of support to something good, give a TIP rather than take something for FREE.

i mean there are successful people in the movement who can afford to give good dnations. not like super upper middle class, but solid middle middle class. engineers and scientists who make 70 grand a year and can afford to live in a white neighborhood and have white children and attract a decent wife hahaha.

but that definitely aint me babe!

took some nyquil.

did nice powerwalk and still 191 calories over for the day. i had a massive appetite all day and could have easily eaten more.  but thankfully right now I am not starving or even hungry really. because in order to lose weight you have to be at least somewhat hungry at all times hahahaha.

but yeah, women dont like losers, so if you get dumped, and you’re a loser, then arent you the cause of the dumping, because if you werent a loser, she would have like you and not dumped you? jeez. sucks being a loser and KNOWING it and feeling unable to really DO anything about it. you can’t live out the 14 words so you try to show support for groups who DO live out the 14 words and they don’t want your support because its too meager because youre too much of a loser. same reason you can’t live out the 14 words yourself because you can’t attract a wife….because you’re a loser hahahaha.

hehehehehe. oy vey those are some confidence-crushing negative thoughts of despair!!!!

june 18

mmmmaybe she was OUT OF MUH LEAGUE. because in my mind my league is liek the absolutely worst and “circus ugly” women…..although my standards are way too high. i mean my standards ARE too high and I should lower them.

for a while I thought I was lowering my standards by going for HER, because she was kinda in a lower league than the previous woman, because she had no real father, is borderline white trash, etc. but then i determined she was still a nice dateable gurl. the important thing was that she had not been with too many guys and was still kinda innocent and cautious.

now im thinking SHE was still out of my league and i have to lower the standards MORE. basically to someone who HAS been with a lot of guys, is closer to 30 than 25, is a single mother.

im like oh fook i really dont want to do that……but what the hell do I have to offer a woman anyway? not much. I am unsuccessful, old, weak, omega. I havent PROVEN myself. I dont DESERVE a good woman.

Mrs Wikernes says regarding women, at 20 they have their pick, at 30 they’re on sale, at 40 they have to take what they can get, and at 50 no-one wants you.

maybe i should aim for 40 year olds hahahaha.

but i hate lowering my standards. its kinda funny that i still have standards. i know logically I shouldnt have standards, because I’m not worth much on The Market. yet STILL I want an attractive woman, a 25 year old woman, a low-number woman, a woman with morals and a good family, etc.

interesting black metal / old school / thrash band i recently discovered because sammy duet was wearing a tshirt of them and I could see how he, and probably I, could like them. just old school japanese wild men who kept it pretty raw but also werent afraid to think outside of the box. and all the stuff is about evil and satan, bla bla bla.

catchy riffs, headbanging parts, but also lots of melodic sorrowful parts with weeping guitars. and this is from 1995, when stuff like this was truly underground.

so yeah thank u sammy for wearing that sabbat shirt hahaha. and there is also the english sabbat to make things more confusing, and they are probably more well known. maybe.

heh. when i find music or something that is Really Awesome and gives me Good Feels, I want to SHARE it with Someone Special, like That Woman. like oh lets cuddle and rock out to SABBAT together hahahaha yeah right. yeah obviously women who like metal are fooked up sluts you want to stay away from. i am speaking more generally, in terms of sharing your interests with somebody because you like them, and they indulge you because they like you too, and maybe come to a deeper understanding and appreciation of you. hopefully hahahaha. just simple honest good faith SHARING.

watching recent goathwore live vidyas doesnt hurt at all. re my ben haterade. ben is clearly a decent guy. they clearly put on a ridiculously good show. it sounds rawer and the vocals arent super loud. everyone is having a great time and it is very high energy. i should really go see them again. they tour enough. i always have a clear mental image of sammy, except now he has longer hair and more degenerate satan tattoos hahahaha. i would always make a point of standing near sammy to burn that image into my mind cuz he is muh riffmaster.

I do like that Ben seems charming and polite and gracious rather than a fooking dick or a little bitch. he luvs the fans and the fans luv him and they give it back and forth.

also i listened to “carving out the eyes of god”, their 4th album, which I never really listened to. it was kinda their big breakout (2009?) and I couldnt into it any more. my hate was at its peak hahaha. I hope I didnt think they sold out because now they were generally not as many blast beats. and now there are solos. and the first song was the catchiest song they had ever written and made them some actual money.

anyway i can see clearly now they didnt SELL OUT. i was just not personally ready to meet that album where the band was at. now I am. they clearly did not sell out! also the vocals are mixed very well, not too loud, he even seems to take my suggestions and not say this as much and to not have a constant stream of lyrics. in the live setting you see him doing air guitar to sammys riffs, AS YOU SHOULD hahahaha. respect the riff master.

also the production is very good, heavy yet clear. drums sound great. lets give this new drummer a CHANCE eh? give him some time to get more comfortable.

so yeah. carving is also a great album, 4 for 4 great albums at this point, im sorry i didnt listen to it in 2009 but i just wasnt ready. you can’t FORCE these things. so I dont feel TOO bad hahaha.  but I am glad and thankful that I came back to it 7 years later!

also sammy started playing solos on this album and maybe i saw that as “selling out”? I hope not. now its clearly a very natural thing to do. it adds to the song, never feels forced, keeps ben from singing too much, allows sammy to shine in a different way, adds to the atmosphere of the song, and seems like they were always there. so, good move on the solos, and I don’t think they ever stopped.

so yeah mainly i am thankful i moved out of my goathwore/ben hate stage and can be just a little more reasonable about it all, and get caught up on the 3 or 4 albums I missed.

but i still wish I could Share my fun discovery with somebody special, namely that woman hahaha. she was not a huge metal fan and I wouldnt want her to be, but she was open to some metal and I could probably get her to like a gw song, and that would be enough for me. like i say, if gurls like TOO MUCH metal, thats weird. but I like it when they like you enough to begin to appreciate your tastes and you gradually mold them without even realizing it hehehe. not that I ever really had that happen. but she used to be so nice and friendly to me, and think I was so smart and cool. that was great for the ego!

until I started liking her and turned into a weak omega, then she was disgusted by me.

come on! i was still the same person she once thought was so cool! why couldnt she see that! because women hate weakness, period, AS THEY SHOULD. so ALL women are like that? OF COURSHE! but it doesnt mean all women SHOULD be so MEAN about it hahaha.

women who were out of my league who didnt want to be more than just friend have been a lot nicer to me when they rejected me. in other words, not all women will always use The Silent Treatment.

and she wasnt using the silent treatment because she was bad or evil or WANTED to hurt me….she had a lot going on in her life and just didnt know how to deal with it all. unfortunately for me the silent treatment was EXTREMELY PAINFUL. For Me. hahahaha.

ok gonna officially try to give an honest listen to that sabbat album. i havent seen such stellar reviews in a long time hehe.

well i was listening to it when muh shitty earbuds died on the left side and then music became unlistenable.

DF FORUMS POST

Yikes, just seeing the phrase “call center” strikes fear into my heart! I too am part of that dubious club. Not anymore however, and hopefully never again! And I had pretty good callers compared to the average, I think. This was technical support for a large company. While thankfully my callers were usually pretty nice and understanding, thank goodness, I was still filled with anxiety and always felt a “knot of dread” in my stomach, because the technical issues we had to deal with and their “solutions” were so confusing and complicated, and you never knew if the next call was going to be simple or ridiculously complex.

It was like taking an exam in a hard math or science class, where all the problems were hard word problems, and you had the world’s worst “teacher”, and people were hovering over you demanding you to explain yourself every step of the way, and there are no lectures or teaching, only exams. It is a terribly stressful feeling to be so confused all the time. Someone is calling you and they are frustrated and anxious and you have to fix their problem……but you have NO IDEA what they’re talking about!!! “It’s my JOB to fix this?!?!?! I don’t even know what they’re talking about!!! Help me!!!!” there was the sense of drowning, as you madly thrashed in a violent sea. You just wanted a more experienced, confident person to swoop in and save you, and show you what to do.

We had some help from higher tiers, but it was all through a chat room where we had to attempt to describe technical issues we didn’t really understand, and then attempt to implement advice we didn’t understand, while trying to explain things we didn’t understand. It is nerve wracking to try to explain things you don’t understand. It’s your job to be the expert and fix things, but you know even LESS than the person CALLING you! They might have more luck trying to fix the problem themselves! But you just have to think THAT quickly, that you can attempt to fix something you have no mental concept of, for a person who has at least SOME mental concept of it! It was really like the blind leading the blind. The curtain was pulled back and the great and power Oz was revealed just to be a call center of chattering monkeys with computers and headsets, hahaha.

Yes there was an emphasis on metrics and handle times. Sometimes we would be DESPERATE to escalate because we CLEARLY had no idea what was going on, and were practically BEGGING for permission to escalate, just so someone with more experience could take a look at this, and not grasp at straws, or at least look more intelligent than us. It’s frustrating to be made to feel dumb when you sort of know you’re NOT dumb….or are you? I mean you have no idea how to do your job! Maybe you are dumb! (No, not you personally, I am just repeating the inner monologue I had every day!)

Some things that would have helped us are: REGULAR TRAINING. I would have loved to have an hour long training meeting once a week just to TALK to people, just to have experienced people make sure we understood current issues, kind of like a teacher teaching a class, discussing the material, before putting us on the phones. But taking a large group of people off the phones for an hour would be unthinkable, there are calls that need to be answered and handled ham-handedly!

Also having a rule like “if your call is going over 20 minutes and you are getting stuck, you have blanket permission to escalate, and don’t have to beg like a peasant and struggle for an hour looking like an imbecile”, that would be good….

Or having level 2 and 3 people get some MANDATORY time on the phones each week, so they can stay humble.

Or have real flesh and blood people walk around and help people who need help, rather than reduce this to a darn chat room. (They used to have flesh and blood people, but of course those were cut, to cut costs, and we switched to the stupid chat room.)

Oh dear I get flashbacks just thinking of the stupid headset, and the stupid red bubble that would pop up when too many calls were holding in the queue: “QUEUE HAS EXCEEDED ITS MAXIMUM SERVICE LEVEL”

My place was above average in terms of nice callers, and nice coworkers, and nice managers, and I managed to survive much longer than I thought I would (1 year, hehehe), and started developing actual knowledge and confidence and competence…..but I also worked with my friend who I had fallen in love with (another sob story, hahaha) and the stress of that situation and the general stress of the job combined and I just snapped and broke down. I quit the job but asked for a “leave of absence to take care of personal issues”….and then I never went back, and I don’t think I COULD go back to ANY call center, hahaha.

It took me forever to get over the stupid painful drama with the female friend, and it has taken even longer to find a new job. Funny thing is, I have tons of recruiters contacting me offering jobs in call centers. My point here is, a call center job might be the easiest job in the world to get, and is somewhat attractive with decent wage. And they will hire just about anybody with a pulse. Which I think is weird, because you have to be QUICK and SMART and SHARP in order not to sink when they throw you in the deep end. And it seems like it would not be cost effective to hire 20 new people when you KNOW that 10 of them are not gonna make it. How is this more cost-effective than simply investing more money in TRAINING?

hehehe, I would get frustrated even just trying to think of explanations from things from a cost perspective. What the hell is the management THINKING? I would think. Doesn’t it cost you MORE in the long run to put a band-aid on issues and give callers the runaround? Won’t they just call back AGAIN later? Why NOT spend a little more time to solve issues at their root?

And just the fact that you NEVER knew what the next call was going to hold, and you could NEVER take a break from that ringing phone.

The Quality Team “checking in” on you when your call went over x minutes, or when you have been in “after call mode” too long.

Our place would offer overtime hours but I would always AVOID it because I thought “I would not answer phones for another hour even if you paid me $XY dollars an hour.”

Many times I thought I would love to take a 30, 40% pay cut just for some time off the phones. Something less stressful. Let me clean the world’s filthiest toilets for a couple hours. But that was just wishful thinking, hahaha.

Anyway I am glad to be out of that environment but your post brought me back down memory lane, hahahaha.

I would not fault you at all for resigning from the job. I would get so stressed out, I could not eat, could not get to sleep thinking about all the crazy stuff that might happen tomorrow, have dreams about the job, wake up in the middle of the night with your mind racing about crazy nonsensical technical things that could happen, have stomach aches and nausea before going in, etc etc.

You have to have NERVES OF STEEL to do well in a call center over the long-term. As soon as I started having some problems in my personal life, the whole house of cards collapsed. I couldn’t deal with my job, I couldn’t deal with my life, I couldn’t deal with anything, I just broke down like a helpless baby.

And you SO calling you “lazy”, wow I would be upset about that! Try not to let that affect you. I know easier said than done. Have they ever worked in a call center before? I believe it’s impossible to understand unless you’ve been in that seat, worn that headset, taken inbound calls for 8+ hours a day, every day, every week, every month. Taking CALLS. Good Lord hahaha. Never again!!!!!!!!!!

Bless all the people who can do this and haven’t gone completely insane yet and can still manage to keep it together!!!!!

OK rant over. But this is a GREAT topic for a rant!!!!

Anyone other lost souls of call center purgatory/hell out there have some rants to share, please do!

And OP please keep us updated on things!!!!

END POST

that was my post i mean hahaha. OP was worried sick about their call center job.

 

JUST TELL ME ITS UNDER 5 / NONSLUTS SHOULD SIGNAL THEIR NONSLUTTINESS AS MUCH AS SLUTS SIGNAL THEIR SLUTTINESS

1222

shit hhehehehe.

yeah great idea for schooling. with my skool, you wouldnt even need homeschool. i would have long talks with homeschoolers and be like nope nothing to worry about here, you can trust your kids with me, basically im just gonna give them of 4-5 years of JOB TRAINING, in at LEAST 32 different ACTUAL JOBS, AND give them actual working experience in some of those jobs over the summers.

then by the time they graduate high school, they will be skilled workers making at least 15dah and be able to be productive independent adults.

of course you didnt need a RADICAL NEW high school to be able to do this 40 “short” years ago! you just went to normal high school, then Got A Job like everybody else! didnt have to think about it! didnt have to outcompete 10 other interviewers for a 12dahj! (in 1975 dollars, purchasing power, adjusted for inflation etc)

they say yeah motherfooker at age 18 i was only making 2 dollars an hour in 1975. but 2 dollars in 1975 is like 15 dollars in 2015 hahahaah. citation needed.

you didnt need to spend 10 grand to learn how to become a Machinist. you just got an Junior Machinist job at age 18 and then in a few years became a Senior Machinist. and then in a few more years became machinist manager and then sit around and get drunk all day at work hahahahahahaha because you didnt have degenerate internet pron to look at in 1980. and shit was going well so you didnt care about degeneracy. you bitched abotu your wife but at least you had a wife and she wasnt a land whale and she didnt betray you! the worst she did was nag you. you still got secs and luv and LOYALTY.

anyway my concern now is having SAFEGUARDS so i dont go from 0 to 100 ever again.

but was it really 0 to 100?

i dont think so. it was at least 50 to 100.

maybe 60 to 100!

and the best SAFEGUARD against that would be what i already decided: BLURT IT OUT ASAP.

that would have released some pressure, and took me back dwn to 0.

i wasnt LYING, but i was kinda hiding a secret that i didnt really WANT to keep a secret, but i was just too scared to talk. and that tension kept rising and boiling. it didnt go 0 to 100 in one day but over 10 months. 300 days.  .33% per day hahahaha.

doesnt the power that be WANT us gainfully employed, because they can get more taxes out of us? and we will be more docile and controllable? because too many weird losers like me, they dont make taxes from, plus enough people like me, there will be RIOTS!

well are shiftless jobless blacks really rioting every day? hahahahaha well they are rioting every week, and killing each other every day. but thats not enough to scare the powers that be because…….tptb still get paid, still get votes, etc. i dont fookin know. you think i know how the world really works? i cant even take care of myself so of course i beleive in ridiculous conspiracy theories!!!!!!!

heh yep MW is having jared taylor on his hangout tonight, we called it hahahaha. this is real interesting that he is debuting all these BIG people right NOW rather than during his “regular season” of conversation videos. it really is gonna boost MW to the next tier and i am happy for him.

i am glad to see good things happen to good people. for a fellow Late Bloomer to become a Winner. i think he’s been planning this to be something big. he never intended it to be Just 7 Hangouts. Even if he had just done that it would have been great. but i think he was planning 7 Daily Hangouts, with a number of Big Surprise Guests.

so this is pretty fun. i am not a jared taylor fanatic but he is a big guy and a decent guy. he’s just not my own personal favorite. so i am trying to predict who else he could have on. I am officially predicting: Aurini, because MW is a fan of him or used to be, and hes never been on before.

maybe another person from TRS. 7th son was already on, so maybe something more in depth with 7th son or mike enoch.

it would not be unreasonable for ramzpaul to get on there either.

maybe david fookin duke hahahaha.

so yeah i didnt go from 0 to 100. when she started gving me the silent treatment i went from 90 to 100. and completely snapped. and that was the end of my life as i know it hahaha.

so……the question becomes

  1. how do i stop from going from 90 to 100? BLURT IT OUT before it gets to damn 50.
  2. what do i do to safeguard against silent treatment? use the following quote: “I feel upset when you stop talking to me and avoiding me. I feel very hurt by this. I will not tolerate this boundary to be crossed repeatedly. Let’s talk about this issue and get it resolved within 72 hours.  Write me an email if you don’t want to talk.”

yeah i never had someone SO CLOSE to me give the silent treatment. well, someone that i FELT close to. i had one other person give me big silent treatment, acollege roomate, BUT, at the time that began, i didnt really like him, i wasnt FRIENDS with him, i didnt feel close to him, i didnt WANT to be friends with him.

i NEVER had someone who was my friend, who i wanted to be friends with, pull such a silent treatment on me. i was totally unprepared.

it didnt help that i was already at 90. but i think SHE was at 90 too. and when she got to 100 she pulled silent treatment. and that pushed ME to 100 and i just totally broke down at life.

so tldr; you will have safeguards in place next time, becuase you wont BE at 90 when she does silent treament, you’ll be closer to 0, and indeed if i had just written an email, then what else would i have had to say to her?

also instead of tyring to get her to talk, i should have said “i cant take this any more. we have to talk now becuase this is FOOKED.” cuz i was being nice to her and trying to have small talk with her like nothing was happening, and apologizing like a beta for being weird. oh god the cringe hahahaha.

https      ://forum.therightstuff.biz/topic/4272/beta-thread

3DRR2we

 

like this terrible beta who apologizes and THEN adds a spergy second tweets signaling to the bitchy girl that he had sat in the corner and thought about what he had done, and had Learned A Lesson on why what he did was So Wrong. Maybe he can spergily flog himself like napoleon dynamite GOD SO STUPID!!!! every time he apologizes for giving unsolicited advice.  but i can TOTALLY see how a guy gets this way. you think people ever are constantly apologizing to guys? and also, when guys get unsolicited advice, the person is usually being a huge dick to them, trying to belittle them.

well i guess the girl is mad because he is a THIRSTY BETA, BEGGING for pvssy. and she is butthurt all these THIRSTY guys are BEGGING for pvssy all the time, trying to be NICE to her.

well i say dont be such a huge BITCH about it, if you HALF as THIRSTY as this guy, youd be twice as CRAY as you are now!

also he’s not begging for PVSSY per se, he’s just merely begging for some kind of attention and friendliness from women. hes the type of supreme gentleman who doesnt even think about Pvssy until he’s in LUV with the bitch hahahaha.

anyway him apologizing, then publicly signaling the reason why what he did was so wrong, is both Omega AND Sperg/Autist.

and i was falling into that quicksand, constantly apologizing to her for BEING WEIRD.  and then saying shit like oh i know this is weird for you and i am sorry for encroaching on your personal space and pushing you and not respecting your feelings.

i should have never let it get so far. i was already past 50 at that point, worn down into a weakass omega.

i should have said hey we need to talk about something important, i am being weird because i dont like being blown off and avoided all the time, we need to talk now, this ends now.

and that wuld have fixed everything hahahaha.

well it would have taken me back to 0 and maybe i would have reacted better if she pulled silent treatment on me at that point. and then i would have to take a asimilar approach there: i dont like this silent treatment, we need to talk. done.

so yeah it makes perfect sense in hindsight. she treated me with such contempt because i was a huge OMEGA apologizing all the time. i knew it was a bad situation at the time, but….i was emotionally compromised! i was in a bad state!

also, not all women HAVE to be so mean to omegas!

and she could have hung out wiht me once in TEN MONTHS rather than CONSTANTLY BLOWING ME OFF AND AVOIDING ME.

oh i brought that on myself because i was OMEGA.

fook that she has some responsibility too. she could have hung out with me ONCE. she responded to my texts after all. she gave me MIXED SIGNALS! i thought she was open to talking!

whenever she responded to my texts, which she regularly did, it gave me HOPE that we WOULD hang out someday! we used to hang out! no problem! usually it was real easy! never more than 2 weeks passed between the first suggestion and the actual hangout! sometimes SHE even initiated the hangout!

i just think ill never get that close to a woman of such high quality again.

yeah a white trash mudshark with huge family issues. but she wasnt a slut, had a low number, and was shy, intoverted, and non slutty, and under 25, so she was therefore My Perfect Ideal Women, instant pedestal.

hahahahaha

i get it that women are as disgusted by betas/omegas as men are by sluts. but even i would treat a slut nicely even if i didnt respect them at all. i would appreciate if i were breaking a sluts heart when she had done nothing wrong to me.

oh but i did her wrong, by BEING omega TO her. this is equivalent to a slutty gurl ACTUALLY CUCKING the guy shes dating.

no i dont think so. orders of magnitude different.

in one you are playing fast and loose with A HUMAN LIFE, ie your bodys ability to create human life.

in another, you are just being a pathetic desperate begging omega. you only hurt yourself and offend the stupid bitch youre dealing with, who rolls her eyes at how pathetic youre being. no third party innocent lives ever enter the picture.

were there more male nurses and male secretaries and male medical assistants when Women Didnt Work? probably but they jsut called them assistants or apprentices and the job itself was viewed as more masculine and certainly didnt require more than a high school education.

like, did men do all the jobs that women NOW do? i mean i understand that HR and Women Makework jobs didnt exist, but you still needed Nurses and Secretaries.

well i mean come on. didnt they have a lot more male TEACHERS back in the day?

but yeah i hate that i was reduced to a begging supplicating omega for her. and that wasnt her fault per se. sure she could have just hung out with me or just talked to me or just stopped avoiding someone she used to be friends with. she could have reacted better but i could have reacted better too, like an alpha male who doesnt take shit.

still, me acting like an omega is like -1 pain on her, and her ABortioning me was a -20 of pain against me.

well i applied for the damn post office job. it only took like an hour of typing in bullshit hahahahaha. looking up your selective service number, thankfully they only wanted 7 years of employment history hahahaha and not all years. so i only had to put 2 jobs!

what was i gonna say. yeah i can see how being an omega is so offensive to women, because heres a weak man that wont protect me and muh chirren, but……they still pick deadbeat thugs anyway, tough “protectors” that abandon their children. and have secs with anyone. its sucks for a man to be omega but i dont think its as much of a shameful crime as being a slut. being a slut is simply more destructive, and to more people.

also i would still treat sluts as people unless they cucked me directly. this woman cant even write me an EMAIL.

1223

hehehe sinead mccarthy talking about mgtow

i should listen to the vidya and not just read the comments but there are good points in the comments.

i mean it cuts to the core of my self, as i used to be a huge mgtow but now i am moving over towards the racial stuff in my older age. and a lot of my mgtow stuff came from the fact that i was/am bitter, over failure and disappointment with women. which leads to blaming of the self and an inferiority complex (“im just not good enough to get a decent woman”) with some woman blaming as well (“50%-75% of modern women are promiscuous stupid crazy bipolar sociopath narcissist psychopath slut  high number 30+ guys babykilling coalburner mudshark single mom betrayer parasite hypergamous hamster sellout evil stupid crazy soulless monsters degenerates”)

dont get me wrong, i blame myself for being a weak loser omega as much as i blame women for being degenerate monsters hahahaha.

ie, i am such a weak man the only women i can pull are degenerate monsters, who in turn Reinforce my negative thoughts about women, and probably my self.

i guess the fact that i had a successful friendship with her for 2 years counts for something. well of COURSE it does. it means i CAN connect with a WOMAN on a meaningful level for a long term period. that is huge. it means there is hope for me yet. that i am not some total wizard autist who cannot talk to women at all.

also it is important for me to understand that i didnt deserve that kind of treatment. i was not perfect at all, i could have been more…..alpha and strong and manly and courageous and brave and bold and MASCULINE. but i wasnt abusing her, in fact i had relinquished all my power to her, and she understandably found that weird and uncomfortable, but in my defense i didnt know what i was doing, i was kinda acting out of fear, fight or flight, and sliding down a slippery slope, and my idea of “fighting” was just frantic flailing like a drowning man, total desperate grasping and flailing because i couldnt fathom the thought of Losing Her.

on the other hand, when you have to reject a person who obviously has feelings for you……..FOOKING DO IT NICELY PLEASE. dont SHAME them while you reject them. if you had the worlds worst abusive relationship for years, ok maybe, and maybe she was so annoyed that she felt i made her life a living hell.

well there is a world of difference between being ANNOYING and being ABUSED.

and also being ANNOYED and having your heart totally broken.

maybe i should make sinead my waifu hahahahaha who cares about the flat earth, she is pro white and attractive and is pro-white-children and probably recognizes that monogamy is best.

did she bang the black guy we see in the pictures? is she obligated to tell us? is it any of our business?

well……i dunno how obligated anyone is to do anything, but SINCE she is a pro-white activist, it would be a good bona fide for her to directly address the COAL BURNING rumors.

heck even if she just banged one black guy 50% of pro whites could probably get over it. i mean ive made mistakes too. were all human hahahahaha. we just want to know she isnt a liar, and that it isnt a long term pattern.

shit i mean the woman of muh dreams who i threw my llife away over banged a black guy. i should be calling her coal burner mud shark bla bla bla. but i honestly dont care because it was just one guy, and she hasnt BEEN with a lot of guys, under 5, and she probably will not go Back to Blacks after this one mistake.

yes i think its a good bona fide for a woman not necessarily to State Their Number, but if they’ve been with less than 5 guys, to be proud of and signal their non sluttiness. you dont need to tell me your number, but if you say its less than 5, shit i would be happy with that!!!!!!!!! all need to know. less than 5, shit. just glad its not over 30 hahahahaha.

nonsluts should be signaling their nonsluttiness as much as sluts are signaling their sluttiness.

say you have to call your car insurance company to see if they cover a “hit and run”of somebody hitting your car in a parking lot then driving off. and you cant understand your complicated policy, or cant find a copy of it. WHO YA GONNA CALL for answers, advice, and help? you call the fooking insurance company  OF COURSE. its their JOB to service your damn insurance policy, and therefore to understand it and know about it, right? you want to CALL them and TALK to someone who UNDERSTANDS better than you do. someone who gives you confidence that they know what they’re doing, know what they’re talking about, can make sense of your policy.

and theres the rub. the poor schmuck youre calling is a Fookin New Guy who makes no more than 15 DAH at absolute maximum, and he understands your policy even LESS than you do.

uhhhhh well reading the language in this policy makes me think….leads me to believe…..i THINK what its saying is bla bla bla….. yeah it kinda looks like it might cover this…… uhhhhhhhhhhhhh good question let me ask my level 2 insurance agent that question, i’ll be back in 5-10 minutes…….yes i told him that…..well what he said was, and maybe this makes more sense to you than it does to me hahahahaha…….nope you cant talk to him directly, he’s helping 20 other level 1 agents just like me……how do i know HE knows what hes talking about? jeez i dunno. i dont know what im talking about so thats why i went to him…….nope you cant talk to him, as i say, hes slammed with 20 questions right now. but he said your policy doesnt cover this, so sorry, youre gonna have to go ahead and pay $2000 to fix your own car. nope nothing we can do. nope you cant talk to a level 2. welp you can try to call back and hope you get a better level 1 than me, im just a fookin new guy who doesnt really understand shit sorry. nope you cant speak to my manager, but i will tell them you complained about me and our whole department. i promise i will pass that along.

its cringeworthy, and how do you think it feels to be the level 1 employee in that situaiton? GOD FOOKING AWFUL, I CAN ASSURE YOU. because you WANT to HELP, you want to do your JOB, you want to make people HAPPY, you dont want people getting mad at you because the insurance company is not gonna cover shit, OOPS GOTCHA you got the wrong insurance policy, HAHA GOTCHA! because its a hit and run and the other driver didnt give you his insurance info, nothing we can do, HAHA GOTCHA! although I could never say haha gotcha. i was like damn that sucks i cant believe my company is screwing you like this, but theirs nothing i can do and no one i can transfer you to.

that is why i am VERY hesitant about seeking jobs where dealing with Complex, Complicated, Confusing issues from Customers is a main part of the job.

yep in my 12dah opinion, this is what your insurance policy is saying. i guess maybe you could hire a lawyer for 300 dah to give you a more authoritative explanation? sorry were just the insurance company youre paying for your insurance policy, we dont really know about the policy.

being put regularly in situations where you dont know what you’re doing; you dont feel prepared or trained for this; YOU DONT KNOW WHAT TO TELL THEM. “what should I TELL them”?????

yeah i hate that because i dont like feeling like an idiot. “well ok maybe youre not an idiot outside of work….but at work….youre kind of an idiot. you dont know how to DO YOUR JOB.”

fook you phaggot.

simple, straightforward, yes or no customer questions are fine though. they are WELCOME!

but explain why this piece of shit is “WORKING AS INTENDED”? fook that. no i cant explain. because its not cost effective to fix it. ITS NOT A BUG, ITS A FEATURE. ITS WORKING AS INTENDED. yeah but its a piece of shit and clearly the intention SUCKS. fix the INTENTION. nope sorry too expensive cant do it. hhahahaha. so you learn to bullshit them with yep ill make an official suggestion and forward that to product development team, probably wll take at least 2 months to build it in tho, so sorry, im sorryabout that.

and then of course just close the case because We Dont Take Suggestions For Features hahahaha.

i am very ethical. i honestly want to help the customers and to make sure the company is doing the right thing for the customers. in my previous job i didnt really get very many scammers. and the shit was so CONFUSING you couldnt TELL whether somebody was trying to scam or not.

this confusion of not knowing what youre doing for 10 hours a day does not build your confidence. it eats away at your confidence.

so yeah i dont want to even apply for Customer Service for Insurance COmpanies, are you KIDDING?

its the insurance companies JOB to DENY CLAIMS. NOPE SORRY! GOTCHA! cant really explain why but thats what my superior, who you cant talk to, said! my best understanding of his explanation is bla bla bla…..yes i explained what you said, to him…..but you dont trust me because i am clearly not good at explaining or understanding things. ok. let me read you exactly what i typed to him. ok lets you and me craft the perfect sentence, and i will read it back to you word for word, well wait 5 minutes for a response, and i will read back what he said word for word, and together we will try to decipher it, using this indecipherable insurance policy as our guide. this is what your insurance company pays me 13DAH for hahahaha

when really they should be paying 20 DAH for how ridic that job is, but then your insurance would cost even more. and the agent wouldnt necessarily know more, they would just be better compensated for facing the firing squad all day erry day.

an angry customer just wanting an explanation and you are not able to give it to them because YOU dont understand. so you literally have to force yourself to understand as quickly as possible, then explain THAT convincingly as to why you can’t help the customer in this situation.

but muh baby is dying of cancer, what do you mean you cant pay for any of his treatment?

well uhhhh it kinda looks like you went to this one doctors appointment 3 days after the cutoff period, so uhhhh technically the cancer is then a preexisting condition. i think. the policy is confusing innit hahahah so sorry about your kid/mother dying, nothing we can do hahahahahaha

yeah that kind of shit i cant handle. i would go back to stupid technical support before i went into INSURANCE. there you are saying no to people even more. i dunno its hard for me to say no especially when its impossible to understand the companys policies.

when i was young and rebellious i made bad choices. i attached my rebellion to degenerate and nihilistic things: alcohol, MJ, pornography, unfocused hatred and anger against the normies, self pity, feeling like a victim, atheism, anti-religion, leftism, marxism, sjw, and still i didnt really like women!

but it would have been nice to attach to a positive movement like pro white or reaction or far right hahahaha back when i was an EDGY teen hahaha.

well i was nihilistic and degenerate until like age 27 anyway. it took me TOO long to realize how risky mgtow was, it played on all my insecurities with wimminz.

of course wimminz were always a huge issue for me, always on my mind. but i mean reactionaries have a more positive view of women than mgtows do. and the fact is, i NEED women. i dont want to live WITHOUT women. i will ALWAYS WANT women, or be into the idea of a Special Woman to be Wife and mother of children, inparticular.

and even when i have NO women in my life and am essentially living a mgtow life…..im still thinking about women ALL THE TIME.

anyway. note to women. when you have to reject a guy who likes you…….do it nicely. even if he ANNOYS you. is he being blatantly mean to you? or just a big weak coward omega?

just very ridiculous that one of the most important women in my life could just….do something so monstrous. its dissonant. incongruent. its not right that she should be remembered in this way. a decent person who did a horrible hurtful thing.

well its not as bad as CHEATING right? no probably not. and dont plenty of people cheat, and break the heart of their lover, who thought they were a great person? such a decent person! I cant beleive they cheated on me!

what if i met an asian gurl who loved me and was very nice; AND i met a white gurl who had tons of baggage, high number, crazy, but she loved me and was willing to have children with me. both women love me and want to have children with me. one is an asian gurl with very few red flags, and the other is a white gurl with a decent number of red flags. which one do you choose? i would WANT to choose the white gurl becuase i prefer white gurls and i want white children.

ideally you say you choose neither, you find a better white woman.

but what if youre getting old and you severely doubt you’ll find a better white woman, and this is the best white woman you can get?

well i would say, if you’re 50 years old and havent had a child yet, go ahead and knock up the trashy crazy white woman. this is assuming she actually loves you and would be loyal to you. which i guess is a tall order in itself!

basically i worry i wont find a better quality white woman than this one. and i guess on paper, tehnically, That Woman was a step down in quality from the previous woman, who had been with EVEN LESS guys, and had a better family life, good relationship with father, normie as hell, mature communicator.

when i first met That Woman, possibly a part of why i didnt immed fall in luv with her, was because i felt she was a STEP DOWN from the previous woman.

hehehe but eventually i fell in luv with her anyway. cuz she didnt fail the absolutely worst dealbreakers: being a huge slut, or being blatantly insane crazy. plus she was nice as hell to me! that certainly helped win me over. its nice when women are nice to and WANT to HANG OUT with you. then it SUCKS when they start avoiding you and ignoring you hahahaha.

it was the porno for so many years, combined with the lack of contact with women for so many years. i didnt realize how degenerate porno was. i was happy to rebel against religion! but i couldnt see that porno was still degenrate and immoral regardless of religion. also i couldnt possibly view religion as a possibly good thing. i was an edgy atheist.

like i say, i think this edgy atheist nihilism degeneracy might be characteristic of OLDER millennials, while the YOUNGER millennials are actually on a good righteous moral Fashy Path. they are Getting it. they are seeing the example of slightly older failures like me and learning from them. good for the young kids, bad for the old failure virgin neets like us hahahahaha.

i was never dumped/rejected because i did something horribly wrong, like couldnt stop cheating, couldnt stop drinking, because i hurt the person who loved me too much. i was always dumped because they lost interest in me, didnt HAVE interest in me, beause i was too weak, too beta, too needy, too inferior. this definitely sets you up for an inferiority complex!

so then you think eveyrthing you do is needy. you think you are always needy or weak even if youre really not.

for example texting someone 100 times a day is need. texting them less than 5 times a day, probably not. especially if you are taking days off of texting altogether.

wanting to hang out with somebody every day is needy. wanting to hang out with somebody once every few weeks is NOT needy.

also, plain old FEELINGS can be misinterpreted as NEEDINESS by the other person, ESPECIALLY if they dont share the feelings.

well, i PROMISE you, that when THEY had feelings like YOU do, for whoever, that THEY were JUST AS “needy”.

remind them to put the shoe on the other foot. walk a mile in your shoes. really truly actually literally empathize. tell them that. tell them, well, when YOU really liked somebody, how did YOU act? before you accuse me, take a look at yourself, you fookin hypocrite hahahahahahaha.

and then MW had RamZPaul come on RIGHT AFTER jared taylor. hehehe this is almost too much. he could have gotten a full day out of ramzpaul. shit i hope ramz comes back! ramz is really good but his videos are too SHORT and too silly! but i think he is gradually becoming more serious. and its always good to have a LONGER discussion with him. so yeah ramz is getting there.

also jared taylor for only 45 minutes hahahaha. is this REALLY IMPOSING on him SO much hahahaha. is he doing MW such a BIG favor? i mean he is a natural. he clearly LIKES talking to people. and taylor speaking eloquently probably comes EASY to him. this is what he’s GOOD at. its not like me going to my stupid job for 11 hours a day, where it took every ounce of life out of me.

its not needy or controlling or abusive to want the person to not date other people! ask them, look, listen, come on, when YOU really liked someone, did YOU want them fooking other people? HELL NO!!!!!!!

my problem was, ALWAYS was, i got too strong feelings too soon. like if i were making out or having secs with a cute young girl, i would start to get feelings hahahaha.

also i think its NORMAL AND NATURAL to start getting feelings once you start getting physical with a cute young woman!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

or even if you dont get physical with them, if you are in proximity with them for a while and start becoming friendly with them. like what happened with Previous Woman. though i still got feelings for her too quick. i had feelings for her before i even first officially hung out with her.

but with That Woman, i hung out with her and actually became friends with her before getting feelings. and this was totally new to me.

so, it was kewl i didnt get feelings for her TOO FAST…..although i still kinda did. when it finally happened, it was 0 to 100. and then i couldnt put the genie back in the bottle.

the real lesson to learn is, how to MATCH/MIRROR your feelings with that the woman has for YOU. in other words, i shouldnt have gotten feelings because she clearly didnt have any for me.

well, at the time, i wasnt so sure on that! there was a time when she was SO nice to me, that i couldnt help but think she might have feelings for me! oh those were the days hahahaha

yep that was a long time ago. once i started getting WEIRD, she stopped being so NICE.

which caused me to be WEIRDER, which caused her to be less and less NICE. when finally she dumped me with no niceness whatsoever.

not really what i needed at this point in my life. what i REALLY needed was to have a nice GF and actually go out with a nice gurl longterm and monog for damn once finally! and i thought i found a great person for that.

but instead it ended in a very bad way. what is the LORD trying to teach me here. is he trying to show me whos the boss? bbbbbut i swear i wanted to have a loving christian one man one woman procreative traditional rel with her! wife her up and make some babies! no joke! i have been a degenerate in the past but why would G-d STILL be PUNISHING me for that? is that just the kind of g-d he is?

this is a holdover from my edgy youth, when i thought of the “scumbag god” who wants to deprive you from all your earthly PLEASURE. which then I supported hedonism and degeneracy and now i understand that god is RIGHT to reject that shit. now my mind is in a much more godly place, i want nondegenerate, traditional, man wife children rels with women, and still failing.

WELL. to be fair. even when i was a degenerate, i had nondegenerate feelings towards the women. i wanted to have more or less traditional, monog, loving, loyal rels with them, even when i was a degen 21 year old. i still wanted to Go Out with them. it wasnt all about degen fooking. it was about having a serious rel.

so yeah in other words i had something good and nondegen and righteous in me right from the beginning.

shit as soon as i became interested in gurls at age 12, i was a huge White Knight, wanted to have a Loving Loyal Rel with a Decent Woman. a real Partnership. With Mutual Luv. no controlling or manipulation. just 2 people luving each other and staying together for a long time.

it might be disney white knight stuff, BUT i also think its good and traditional and nondegen. and i had it from Pre Puberty. so thats a GOOD thing is what im saying, for me not being a degen or nihilist at heart.

anyway. yeah i could have told her sooner. but she could have been nicer to me.

i know women hate omegas and weakness……but she still could have been nicer to me.

i could have acted better…..but just because i messed up didnt mean i deserved to be treated THAT badly.

i made a mistake, but it was not such a hurtful mistake that i deserved to be punished like THAT.

I would never do that to somebody if the roles were reversed.

and i will never understand why she couldnt. even with the  Occams Answers of: Easy Way Out, bad father, chaotic family life, trust issues, possible mother issues.

maybe if i had all those i would do this to somebody hahahaha.

and so i just have to accept that this is it. this is all the closure im gonna get.

shit. if i could ask her WHY? WHYD YOU DO THIS TO ME? even she probably wouldnt be able to answer. she doesnt even know why she did this. again, a combination of the occam answers is most liekly.

or, she would give a bitchy answer like YOU MADE ME DO THIS. which i dont think is right, and which i DEFINITELY dont need to hear.

i really want to know the Dynamic of her major boifran. when i first met her she was very hush hush about him. but she wasnt hush hush about other things. so why him. well because things were on the outs probably. by the time i met her, 1.25 years later, they were done, and i think that last year was just all pretty bad. ok fine. so how was it in the first half? i think he was probably still really stubborn but he also drank a lot hahaha. then he stopped drinking. he probably had his own badboi issues right from the very beginning. but he was not a cheater. well i dont know though. i dont think he was. i met him and he was a good guy, just very stubborn and not a great fit for her, and she def loved him more. honestly i think he was just a full AUTIST and didnt know how to relship hahahaha. thats all. he was a stubborn autist. but a decent guy. but not a great guy for her. he didnt luv her enough. i luved her more than he did hahahaha. but he was such a stubborn autist he prob got comfortable in the rel and had no desire to go out and cheat. he was prob ok just getting drunk and having her being nice and loving to him and doing all the work hahahaha. i cant overstate, how nice it is when women turn on that nice womanly charm and are all nice and warm and loving and supportive to you. i dont get it very often hahahaha. but its VERY nice to get. very addictive.

say i met a nice white gurl like sinead mccarthy hahahaha. but she has big red flags too. flat earth? her troubled youth which i dont know too much about but that it was kinda troubled? i should just listen to that damn interview where she talks about it. perhaps a psych ward, perhaps oppositional defiant disorder. point is, she could be certifiably crazy. and youre not supposed to TRUST crazy.

but were all crazy in a way arent we?

yeah but women are more likely than men to go to shrinks and get diagnosed. usually as BIPOLAR. the even more crazy ones graduate to BORDERLINE.

but shrinks are bullshit right? meds are bullshit.

nonetheless i still think a “bullshit” diagnosis of BIPOLAR and especially BORDERLINE is a red flag.

if that woman went to a shrink, what would they diagnose her as?

basically im saying, couldnt JUST ABOUT EVERY WOMAN get diagnosed as bipolar at least, IF they went to a shrink?

anyway. the job frustration always boils down to, youve gotta give somebody bad news aka you cant help them, you cant do anything for them, because…..some stupid reason that doesnt make sense which you cant even explain to them because it doesnt make sense to you.

there are no articles on the internet on how to deal with this.

what i would do is go home after a long day and then STUDY the shit i didnt understand, until i sorta understood it better. because noone was gonna understand it FOR me.

https     ://forum.therightstuff.biz/topic/4376/is-it-possible-to-leave-autism/4

TRS is good people, right up there with millennial woes for me. they are certainly friendly towards each other.

shit 7th son is gonna be on again tonight. good man.

and red ice again AND wife with a purpose too! i do like her. not sure if she is as crazy as my other waifu sinead mccarthy. although sinead might be hotter hahahahaha. wwap has a weird face but she is not ugly ugly and she has FIVE fooking white children whom she homeschools. FIVE kids. some sinead haters seem to think she is a bandwagon jumper. i dunno. i mean sinead is still in a probationary period for me. ive listened to more wwap and wwap might be getting out of probation pretty soon, she seems to check out.  very glad to see her on MW and hope they will have one on one talks in the new year.

but its great seeing MW transform himself, stepping up to the big leagues before our very eyes. to go from being a 30 year old neet to being a man who is finally getting the respect, recognition, and luv he deserves.

like us he used to be kind of a loser but he overcame. and we are witnessing his big rise to glory right now. it is amazing. he deserves it. i just hope he makes the hangouts more regular, and has these guests on again. TRS, WWAP, greg johnson, it is just glorious. i am thankful.

http://www.seemypersonality.com/Personality-Report?x=sPIx4x4949511-4120689xs4hj2x4

http://www.seemypersonality.com/Personality-Report?x=MAQx4x4949511-316468xs4hj2x1

hehehehe my personality and relationship reports

i should try to eat less than 1700 calories a day

shit as we speak MW is doing the Female Edition with WWAP and lana from red ice ie henriks wife.  not bad. someone in the chat said they had invited sinead aka shiksa goddess but she either said no or didnt respond hahahaha.

good god, now ROOSH is in the chat room, this is just ridiculous hahaha. this is the biggest thing i have ever been a part of hahahaha.

anyway the other epiphany i had today was:

IF SHE HAS SECS VERY EASILY, SHE WILL DUMP YOUR ASS AND BREAK YOUR HEART VERY EASILY. She will treat hearts with no more care than c0x. and both should be treated very carefully.

But yeah if she thinks nothing of taking cox, you think she’s gonna care about breaking your heart? so dont fall in luv with sluts. easier said than done though, cuz its POWERFUL when qt young girls show enough interest in you to have secs with you……….and then the interest is gone, becuase they show this interest to EVERY guy, briefly.

so i was glad to find a woman that wasnt Like That.

ITS IMPOSSIBLE FOR SLAVES TO ABUSE THEIR MASTERS / FEMALE PROMISCUITY IS A WAY BIGGER MORAL THREAT THAN G4Y SECS / JUST ACT LIKE U CARE THAT IM NOT DED / KNOW YOUR REPRODUCTIVE ROLE

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112 days NIC (not initiate contact ie email), 146 since i last talked to hcr and shit hit fan. ok.

switching back to coffee from tea here. 6 scoops.

eli the im not sure what he is computer guy talks about getting in good Mental Health, a decent talk from a charismatic guy who has given me better training than my tech-related job, and is a great resource when you are thrown to the wolves in a tech related job and have no idea what you are doing.

but yeah he is an energetic “aspie” who does not seem to be affected by despair or anxiety, he is just on a different level. but i say take the big pharma plutocrat poison if it helps you even a little bit.

but his wife got cancer at a young age and thankfully they apparently had the insurance to deal with that. i would just give up! but now she cannot have children, and eli always wanted children, so this is a big deal for him. for them! maybe she really wanted children too! why wouldnt she? most women probably want children and i cant blame them! its very natural!

anyway now he is turning down work so he can go hiking in the wilderness and deal with that issue hehehe.

he also drinks 80 ounces of coffee a day without shitting his pants constantly and freaking out, so i am jealous of that. i wish i could drink like 20 ounces of coffee without shitting my pants hahahaha.

heh you would think being abandoned is something men do to women more. they probably do.

im not sure shes a NARCISSIST but abandoning someone like this is a very narcissistic thing to do.

silent treatment is different than a COOLING OFF PERIOD

because after the cooling off period they eventually come back and talk to you.

i kinda wanted to let her know this was WRONG, you cant DO this to people EVER, i was DEVASTATED when she did this to me.

then i thought, well shes not gonna respond; i still wanna get together with her; still luv her; AND she might say “WELL THATS YOUR FAULT. YOU DIDNT HAVE TO BE SO HURT. DONT GET FEELINGS SO HARD AND FAST. NOT MY PROBLEM. WE DIDNT ACTUALLY DATE, YOU CLINGY NEEDY PSYCHO.”

wihtout recognizing that that is irrelevant, you still dont do this to poeple, and SHE OUGHTTA KNOW.

hehehe you outta know, i am alanis morisette.

only i am not a degenerate who sucks off guys and drinks loads in a public theatre hahahahaha

well she can prob figure out that its wrong to give someone the silent treatment like this…..

shit i might go for an outdoor walk, just for 1 hour though.

anyway the CONSENSUS of REASONABLE PEOPLE would say you dont end ANY kind of relationship, even a Friendship on the Outs, by avoidng and ignoring the other person; and especially continuing to ignore them when they BEG you to respond to the them. the consensus of common sense is, this SPEAKS VOLUMES abotu THEM, not YOU. mainly that they are a weak coward who cant face life hahahaha. they are telling you they are nowhere NEAR mature enough to be in a rel with you.

also, BEGGARS CANT ABUSE THEIR MASTERS. ITS IMPOSSIBLE. SLAVES CANT ABUSE THEIR MASTERS.

also i wanted to say that 8chan/pol moans abotu WOESY being a degenerate because of his gay past and technical Bisexuality. they just dont care that he is anti gay degeneracy and that he is probably MORE hetero than homo.

and what i would say is……. HETERO WOMEN ARE WAY MORE DEGENERATE THAN HOMO MEN.

or…..to put the focus on the behavior: promiscuity in hetero women is way more degenerate than gay sex.

in other words, neoreactionaries are quick to condemn f4ggots as degenerate and i am sure many gays certainly are, with their glory holes and standard fook parties and g4y 4n41 fisting and such, but what about the loving nonpromiscuous monogamous gays hahahaha.

the point is, the most DANGEROUS and PREVALENT form of degeneracy is Average MOdern women SLUTTING IT UP in their 20s. this happens WAYYYYYY more and is WAYYYY more destructive than gay men being gay. theres simply not that MANY gays or gay sex.

in other words, FEMALE PROMISCUITY IS A WAY BIGGER MORAL THREAT THAN GAY SECS.

yet women dont understand this! women, have have the BIGGER risks than men for secs, dont understand the way their own bodies work! you have to mansplain their own bodies to them! this is so frustrating and makes them seem so dumb and infantile!!!!!

shit i could be DEAD for all she knows. we might have been on the outs, but didnt she care enough about me to know if i was DEAD or not? that hurts.

i would never do this to someone. even if i wanted to break someone elses heart but couldnt. i wouldnt just break any persons heart as a substitute!

if i knew the person for 2 and half years and they were so upset they quit our mutual job, i would Reach Out to them (fook i hate that term) and say “come on. lets work this out. i dont want you to quit your job because of me. we can figure this out. lets talk about it and try to get along with each other. dont quit your job. thats a big deal. lets work together here. lets dialogue” hahahaha. ”

dont quit your job because of me, dont k yourself because of me, dont self destruct because of me hahahahahha

nope. absolutely no concern for me. like i say i could be DEAD for all she knows. would she even care?

maybe she would, maybe she wouldnt. she probably would a little but wouldnt express it even if i begged her to. then she would know i wasnt dead hahahaha.

file this under being treated humanely and respectfully,like a human being. you dont have to love me. just act like you care that im not dead.

woooaaaaahoaaaaaaaa ahm still alive whoooaaaawhoooaaaa

now i understand this song hahaha. im not dead, im still alive. same as her! heh it would hae been easier if she just K’d me. cuz damn i am still alive. i am alive as FOOK but i feel like the living dead.

slutty women are HARMFUL TO SOCIETY AS A WHOLE. makes it more chaotic and degenerate. increases fatherlessness.

male promiscuity is nothing to encourage, but female promiscuity is way more harmful. also, if we stop female promiscuity, then male promiscuity wil be stopped as a result. you cant have male promiscuity wihtout female promiscuity.

sex is something that women HAVE that men WANT. essentially sex is synonymous with Vag, NOT with P33n0r.

and WOMEN dont understand this. but they dont NEED to understand it, thats still how they operate.

its not a risk that can be removed by society. (well, it can be DISCOURAGED by society!). meaning, womens NATURAL REPORDUCTIVE ROLE is to be the CARRIER OF CHILDREN; and men are the depositers of sperm. this is the way its ALWAYS been, and its NEVER GONNA CHANGE.

KNOW YOUR REPRODUCTIVE ROLE.

so women can pretend they are the same as men and go out and fook promiscuously………that doesnt change a DAMN thing about those roles. they can STILL get pregnant, men never will. you dont even NEED to attach morality to it (although I certainly like to!!!!!!!!!) even from a totally amoral, utilitarian, total utility to society, the greater good type of standpoint, women slutting it up is NOT GOOD. and SHOULD be shamed and judged.

hahahaha maybe i am just reading the worst articles, and then the WORST sluts come out and comment on them.

maybe normal, average women DO understand this, their reproductive role, which is a fancy way of saying, women get pregnant, men impregnate them, so if youre a woman, BE EXTRA CAREFUL.

but among progressive, educated, middle class j00 york times readers……common sense is not so common.

did a 3 mile walk, 1 hour, not bad. good to do in the middle of the day hahaha. will of course go back to Fat Club later tonight.

I saw a guy at the Club i vaguely know. i know him but he doesnt know me really. he was really friendly and everybody loved him because he was awesome and nice and smart and probably a good mentor and role model.  he enjoys his job and enjoys life and was well respected at his job. instructor of business & marketing ok. he probably has an MBA, you gotta have a masterz degree to become even a part time (“adjunct”, ie 90% of all instructors) instructor.

well you say hes a loser because he is teaching at a loser college, is what people from muh oven middle class j00niversity would say. thank god i dont believe that classist crap any more hahahaha.

anyway he might recognize me if i went up to him, but i have been avoiding him, because i would say, welp, i left old job 2 years ago, then went to a higher paying “better” job, but i quit that because i am mentally unstable and couldnt handle it, and now am at rock bottom and have no goals and no prospects, who would hire a loser like me, all jobs suck, and mah medz and shrink arent really working hahahahaha.

but he was the nicest guy. i couldnt believe someone could be successful and respected, without being a cutthroat asshole. and his area was BUSINESS of all things. well, marketing. but marketing is business hahahaha.

http://takimag.com/article/spare_the_job_wreck_the_child_gavin_mcinnes/print#axzz3QknBawhl

interesting article on the Value Of Work hahahaha

well i started a job at age 16  but it was an easy job and i didnt learn much about life and did not get tough or masculine hahaha. i almost wish i had been Forced to work fast food, retail, restaurant, or really a honest mans manual labor job like carpenter or mason or something.

it really does NOT feel good to be a huge loser!

shit when will i ever make 15 bucks an hour again. cant believe i couldnt handle a woman.

couldnt handle my EMOTIONS. 30+ years old and cant handle my emotions!

well better go back to fatclub.

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oh when will those bigoted white males ever learn: punching UP is funny. punching DOWN is NOT funny. NOT ok. talk abotu missing the point.

2 minute exaholics video about your partner just vanishing without a word. nothing new here but its always good to hear other people say it: its their fault not yours hahaha.

ghosting, narcissists, decent vidya by a female TheRapist/AnalRapist hahahaha. no i liked this video and dont mean to make fun of her. even if she is probably a feminist lesbian hippie, not usually my preferred type of person hahaha.

but shes got a lot of videos about narcissists and rels, so i subbed hahahaha.

hehehe maybe i was the narcissist because i didnt want her to abandon me hahahaha.

in order to not be a narcissist, you have to want your loved ones to abandon youhahahaha

heh i think near the end she was really showing some Narcissistic traits like Blameshifting and Avoiding but i dont think she was a real narcissist. she was under a lot of stress and was completely emotionally unavailable to me and acted in some narcissistic ways at that time. but when things were good, she was so kind and caring and selfless she could not possibly be a real narcissist. but i wish she was better at communicating with me. you can be stressed and emotionally unavail, and still communicate.

she communicated with others. but she was invested in them, she loved them.

not a good enough excuse!!! YOU DONT HAVE TO LOVE SOMEONE TO COMMUNICATE WITH THEM!!!

she could have still communicated with me even if she was not in love with me.

write an email perhaps. or one text hahahaha. or have her family or friends contact me and say shes sorry about all this.

113 days since IC ahahah. initiating contact. days NIC. 147 days since i talked to her. maybe 145 days since ive SEEN her hahaha.

she didnt always give me the silent treatment. she was just distant and made excuses not to hang out, but she still talked to me and was someone nice to me. when she started giving the official silent treatment, i totally lost it immediately. i snapped.

i guess if it were a real cooling off period, she would have eventually responded to my emails, or responded to that one after 1 month of not seeing her.

but yeah it wasnt always silent treatment. once silent treatment started, i FLIPPED OUT IMMEDIATELY. that sucked. wish i hadnt done that.

i didnt really like this one cuz she blamed the man for “forcing” his wife to become distant and kiss another man. and she thinks that silent tretment occurs because you are CRITICIZING them and they dont like it so they give you silent treatment.

i dont think i was criticizing, i was just saying im worried, we dont communicate, we dont hang out, i dont want us to be distant, i dont want to lose you, please lets work on this.

i wanted to talk, she didnt want to talk.

i wanted to try to work on the rel, she didnt want to try.

HOW DO YOU COMPROMISE WITH THIS???

what, do i just say, ok i’ll manage my expectations, and no longer want you to talk about problems.

theres no middle ground here. either you talk, even a litle bit, or you dont.

i guess talking a LITTLE BIT would be the compromise. because then you could have a short, shitty talk which doesnt get to the root of the problem, then she can say OK I TALKED, YOU HAPPY????? and you would say no because it was a short shitty talk that didnt address anything. which probably would be the type of talk we would have had.

this is why i like writing emails, because you can say everything you want to say. of course they dont have to read or respond to everything! they can ignore the more important things! like when i sandwiched important things in with small talk. she would respond ONLY to the small talk and ignore the big talk. and these were not long emails, they were just little chats at work.

obsess abotu woman during the day, obsess abotu jobs and jow useless and skillless and valueless i am durng the other parts of the day. never get a job for an adult man. if i do, not be TOUGH enough to WITHSTAND, and quit like a sensitive phaggy weak millennial sissy whos afraid of work.

did a 3 miler in the cold, try to to a 7-8 miler later tonight at fatclub.

anyway i dont think she is a true narcissist. the 2 gurls i psuedodated were more narcissistic, although they caused me less hurt (in the long run hahaha) and dumped me nicer.

she was taking a page from the narcissists cookbook, ie silent treatment and stonewalling and passive aggressive and ghosting are definitely typical textbook classic narcissist things. but i honestly dont think she was a narcissist, as much as she was overwhelmed and cowardly and Avoidant.

so shes very close with her mom. she could have her MOM email or text me. i would accept that as an apology.

but shes probably convinced her mom that i am as big of a creep as her deadbeat father hahahaha.

abandonment issues. i dont get the hate. PEOPLE HAVE ABANDONMENT ISSUES BECAUSE ABANDONMENT IS HORRIBLY PAINFUL. you are RIGHT to have an issue about it. it sucks and shouldnt be held against someone. unless it’s directly causing issues in your rel. like they jsut dont believe you would never abandon them, so they never trust you, and go and cheat on you hahahaha. i laugh but you know this happens a lot! you pushed me to cheat on you because i didnt trust you! even though you never did anything to show you were untrustworthy. or you did one little thing they RATIONALIZED as an excuse not to trust you. like you worked late one day! oh that settles it hes cheating on me! so its ok if i cheat on him! cuz he wasnt trustworthy!

in that case i migth mention abndonment issues as being a bad thing.

but yeah abandonment is bad and rightly causes issues.

and people need to communicate with each other to deal with issues.

anyway i just feel completely emasculated re jobs. i cant do any jobs, i cant handle the stress, i cant handle the abuse, and this is only if im LUCKY enough to get a shit job.

well fact is, I did my previous job, which was shitty, BUT there PLENTY of jobs that are just as if not more shitty, plus teh pay was not shitty.

i can see what gavin mcinnes was trying to say in that takis article above, but reading stuff like that does not boost my confidence.

what would boost my confidence is actually DOING a job like that and surviving.

basically in the current year you have to bribe your coworkers to train you how to do your job. I will pay 10 dollars for your goddam lunch if you can train me on my job during lunch. i will pay you 20 bucks if you come over after/before your shift for an hour to explain things to me and teach me things.

and this is just ridiculous. i used to study work stuff while at home so as to try to teach myself things…….but it really helps to have a teacher, just to check your work, just to give you the thumbs up and say “YEP YOURE UNDERSTANDING IT CORRECTLY.”  or, GOD WILLING, to give some god damn insight of their own, in explaining how and why.

fooking help me, tell me if im doing it right, so i can look like i know what im doing in front of the customer.

i HATE being left to look incompetent in front of a customer.

ok i took that as in a “tell me about a weakness and how you fixed it” interview question, and put it in my classic glorious interview file:

“I used to get FLUSTERED because I felt I was being left to look incompetent in front of clients, always saying, I don’t know, but let me find out for you, then put them on hold, and come back 5 to 10 minutes later with an unsatisfactory explanation. I improved this weakness by learning how to ask better questions of my callers, and also when asking for help. I needed to be detailed and clear with my level 2’s in order to get more satisfactory answers from them.  I realized the responsibility was on me: I could only get explanations that were as good as the information I supplied them. I also I would go back and study the case and the relevant documentation after my shift so that I understood the issue and its impacted systems, fully, before the start of my next shift. ”

shit bitch. hahahaha. beat that. bribe bitches to train you on your job. because you cant ask questions abotu your job during your shift, because youre supposed to be doing your job. and you cant ask questions of other people during their shifts, cuz theyre supposed to be doing THEIR job. not TRAINING you hahahaha.

i would be and i HAVE BEEN a great TRAINER in the past. I would HELP people, i was HAPPY to help people, cuz i know how I needed help, and i appreciated the help i got, and i knew how hard good help was to get, but it didnt ahve to be that way. so i gave great help quite a bit. people would go to the official help channels and get crapped on or ignored or led astray. i would say just do this, and just tell them this, this is the bullshit article to use which supposedly explains it, but it doesnt, so just come up with a bullshit story inspired by this article.

well sometimes people were tired or moody or tired of answering phones for 60 hours a week and could not create a bullshit story on the fly.

this wasnt a mind numbing thing where you could just turn you mind off for 8, 10, 12 hours a day. your mind had to be switched ON, and then when you survived to the end of a shift, you wanted to OBLITERATE your mind with drugs and alcohol, because it was spinning with trying to make sense out of stupid technical problems.

it was like doing hard math problems all day, on stuff you didnt really know, but your callers thought you should know, with shitty help, and no one was willing or able to check your work, so you were never sure you did shit right, until they called back and said the shit was broken again, but you would not get that call, and it would be impossible to prove if you didnt do the shit right, OR the shit just broke again, OR if it was different shit breaking but they thought it was the same.

this is the shit i found myself in because of her hahahaha.  i never would have been in that stupid job because of her.

BUT OTOH, she Helped Me Grow, because i really needed a new, more serious job. and she arguably pushed me out of my comfort zone, helped me improve as a person. helped me grow.

then pulled the rug from underneath me.

i dont necessarily regret the job. i regret meeting her hahahaha. but the job did teach me good skills. but what good are the skills if they dont help me get hired?

or if you can only get a worse job.

dat feel when you are moving down in your career over time hahahaha. i just threw away at least 8 years of my life. now i am about 15 years behind people of my age hahahahahahaha but its true haha.

well maybe only 12 or so. but at least 10 o god. not a good feel!

thats why i like women that are at least 8 years younger !

i did find a woman who is 39 or 40 who is very attractive. she aged very well. i wont say her name but she is a not quite yet internet famous writer. but she really should be married and have at least 3 kids by now. at age 39 and 40…..i mean you cant even have healthy kids with that, which makes me sad for her. she might have been a good mother. but seriously why ISNT she married with kids? which makes me think she might be a little CRAY CRAY. dumping guys, sabotaging rels, a little chad carousel mayhaps. doesn’t matter if she has some hawt right-wing views.

but yeah i would bury myself so deep in her that who ever could pull me out would be crowned king arthur hahahaha.

same as with That Woman. BECAUSE I loved her above all other women, therefore I also wanted to bang her more than any other woman!

are you ALL IN, or only 60% in?

are you 100% sure you want them and only them? or only 50%?

ask yourself these questions. i was 100% in for her.

its fine that she wasnt in even 1% for me. SHE COULDA BEEN NICER. SHE COULDA TAKEN FIVE MINUTES TO WRITE A NOTE: sorry this isnt gonna work out, i cant do this, youre a good person, i appreciate our friendship, but i cant go forward the way you want. im sorry. i give you my best wishes.

just 2 sentences would have saved me MONTHS of pain. easily.

talk about a return on investment!!!

maybe IM a narcissist! i AM pretty selfish i admit, but i HOPE im not a narcissist!

heh according to the one question narcissist test, i am. hahaha but that is bullshit.

Quiz: Are You A Narcissist?

on this quiz i got way below average. and average was below narcissist.

wow a shitty article by hip millennial feminist laurie penny on the rape accusations on hip millennial feminist degenerate porn actor james deen being a rapist, is current the NUMBER ONE article on time.com hahaha.

once laurie penny responded directly to millennial woes, who is teased cuz he wants to bang her, she told him no youre not my type hahahaha;  and once millennial woes responded directly to me when i first discovered him over a year ago and said good work lad and he said thank you to me.

this means i am famous hahahaha i am a narcissist.

well MW is a handsome man and laurie penny is an ugly “MUNTER” so she should be greatful. well shes not as ugly as lena dunham. so i am desperate enough that i would bang laurie penny. consensually of course hahaha. no im not a fooking RAPIST and i REFUSE men are as bad as these feminist COWS say we are!

anyway her star is on the rise and she is about as big as a young “journalist” can be. and her stuff is absolute poison. she is already in the middle class mainstream and i can see the Smarter College Gurls really loving her and her babykilling bullshit hahahaha. i wasted 10 minutes reading her twitter and was poisoned by bullshit and degeneracy hahaha.

well THAT WOMAN was not a disgusting feminist like this. i dont think. i would have liked to have some deeper conversations with her about these things. i caught her reading jezebel a couple times and i mansplained to her, you know you shouldnt read that because its man hating feminist marxist poison right? its pure evil, dont read it please! she just said lol and did not respond to these specifics. i honestly think she honestly thought it was just a fun thing to read, like buzzfeed and gawker………….without realizing the HORRIBLE political and moral underpinnings of this poison. i think many Millennials do this. its just fun stuff to read for people who like reading ANY kind of news or opinion. hey at least they like to read anything, they could just do instagram and snapchat and shit all day and have no interest in the world!

like youre young and you read it cuz its hip and edgy and geared towards the young. but you dont clearly understand that its insane leftist sjw marxist degenerate poison. you dont fully understand left and right yet. or you say its all the same hahahaha. and become a gayass libertarian atheist fedora neckbeard. no. any thinking person SHOULD eventually end up on the RIGHT hahaha.

although i would be very in favor if Restricting Free Trade if it meant Making American Great Again hahahaha. and then i would get a sweet 15 DAHJ building american made tvs or some shit hahaha.

as a neoreactionary, i believe there are higher values than the economic.

such as human dignity, and nationalism hahahaha. and women not being horrible whores hahaha.

you could even be a fedora atheist and agree that WOMEN BEING PROMISCUOUS IS BAD FOR SOCIETY. it leads to increased violence; more thuggish behavior from men; more chaos and disorder and instability; more fatherlessness; more heartbreak; more broken homes and bad families and bastard kids.

YOU THINK THIS IS A MOTHERFOOKIN GAME????!?!?!?!?!

ARE ALL WOMEN LIKE THAT ?!?!?!?!?!

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shit. delicious tacos is a great writer but i dont know if i need that kind of pessimism and degeneracy right now!

but i have decided to indulge myself in Hate after listening to this ramzpaul video about love and hate.

about weak cucks who are terrified to respond to the paris attacks with “islamaphobia” and the guy whose wife was killed but immediately he said he did not hate them, he forgave them, and just hideous cuck weakness.

and ramz says the opposite of luv is not indifference, like that retarded saying, but its really hate, just like common sense initially tells you. two sides of the same coin, two sides of the same spectrum, and its possible that if you do not know how to hate, you dont know how to truly LOVE!!!!!!!

so i decided rather than being AFRAID of my hate like so many weak cucks, i would embrace my hate. for those who had wronged me and broke my heart hahahaha. i thought some thoughts i cannot repeat here hahahaha. i thought what would be the best “revenge.” i thought maybe if she got aids from some black thug then slowly died of aids, also had a mixed baby with aids who would slowly die along with her.

then i thought, thats a little too much, withering away with aids is too much. i thought it would be better if she jsut had some brown babies with several black thugs who abandoned her and the babies, over the next 10 years she had about 3 of those and threw her white genes away; AND balloon up into a huge white trash hambeast, 400 pounds at least. that would be PERFECT. morbidly obese white trash with brown babies who can only get secs from black thug bottom feeders, and quite simply can’t attract a good decent man any more cuz shes that fat and depraved, and all she can get are black thugs on tinder for pump and dump, while her mixed kids grow up to be thugs, and she balloons up to 500 pounds, maybe THEN she gets aids at age 40 or so hahahaha and withers down to 200 pounds hahaha.

unfort her family does not seem prone to fatness like 99% of amerifats. come on. just eat more shitty food fatty.

the idea of sadistically torturing her did not appeal to me though, i did not want to cause her terror and pain, however if she were instantly k’ed by a bus i might think that was fair hahahaha.

really i just want her to become a loser at life, cant handle her job, cant handle the heartbreak, just quit and give up and be heartbroken like me. go through the same pain i am.

but she’s prob doing this BECAUSE she is going through heartbreak, she is supposedly heartbroken from the scumbag she short term dated. she was kinda thrown away by him, heart broken, cant get revenge on him, so she needs to take that out on somebody.  i was the PERFECT target for that, because she thought i was so annoying and unfair.  she had some revenge of her own to get, some hate to express, and i was the perfect target. makes perfect sense.

she was already heartbroken. well i want her to be heartbroken again. by someone she works with. so she has to quit her job. for example, maybe she could give it up to some guy(s) at the job, like a whore. but then she can get feelings, fall in luv, and then the guy can just IGNORE her, even though they work together. then she can go crazy and quit the job and be completely devastated and broken in every way. i think this would be a suitable revenge for me hahahaha.

of course then she would just slut it up afterwards, giving sex to all sorts of sleazy men, and i dont have that “privilege” hahahaha. i dont think id want that privilege.

and then she could become a 400 pound mud shark white trash with brown babies and she can’t even get an attractive white man to fook her any more, can only pull black bottom feeding thugs and felons.

fook yeah im a racist, i dont like it when white women fook or have brown babies with black men! i just dont like it and im not sorry! i want white women to have babies with white men!!!! white women who fook black men are TRASHY! i am disappointed when white women even consider fooking nonwhite men!

its partially my own preferences. i prefer white women, i would never want to have children with anything but a white woman, so therefore i prefer white women who themselves prefer white men!

maybe she could become a damn drug addict or alcoholic too.

but see, she was never into drugs or alcohol or slutting it up. if she had avoided all those by age 25…..thats GOOD! and that is part of why i liked her.

shit when i was 21 i was drinking like a MADMAN. i basically drank like a MADMAN from ages 18 to 26. it was STUPID. i drank more than the average rowdy young Adult, to where i clearly had a Drinking Problem, but i wouldnt call myself an “alcoholic” hahahaha. but it was definitely a problem.

she never had this! she barely drinks at ALL! thats GOOD! she doesnt abuse drugs either! like other white trash people pop pain pills. she doesnt!

anyway yeah. i was the perfect “victim” because she had been done wrong and she needed to do somebody wrong. the timing was PERFECT for that for her. and i was the PERFECT person to do that to, because i was “SO” annoying and it was SO unfair that i got these feelings for her. so, break MY heart  and throw me away, the way her heart was broken and she was thrown away.

because you cant get revenge on THAT person directly. she couldnt get revenge on that guy, cuz he just didnt really care. i cant get revenge on her, i mean break HER heart, because she doesnt love me. i cant possibly break her heart. but i do want someone else to break her heart again in the future hahahahahah to get revenge FOR me hahahaha. karmic revenge. pref a guy she works with so she has to quit her job.

i want her to be so out of control of her emotions that she quits her living wage job.

i want her to completely love someone and be thrown away by them.

well supposedly thats what already happened. and thats why she did it to ME. well now i want somebody to do it to HER again. one of the first things i said when it happened to me was, I NEVER WANT TO DO THIS TO SOMEBODY ELSE. and i hope i never do. the cycle of abuse stops with me hahahaha.

i can totally understand why people do it, especially if they are undergoing ongoing horrible abuse, like being raept by your father, that you then take it out by bullying others, torturing animals, etc. or if you are a korean getting verbally abused all day, you get out of work, get drunk on cheap rice liquor, and verbally abuse your wife and children, then pass out on the floor or are vomiting on the sidewalk at 11 pm on a weeknight hahaha.

oh yeah i finally have a life protip for once: if you have trouble sleeping try earplugs. i have become such a light sleeper that any damn sound will wake me up for an hour. so earplugs can block out all sound and make it like you are in a hermetically sealed tomb hahaha. it has been sorta working for me lately. i usually sleep on left side so my right ear is open to the world. so i just use one earplug, in the right ear. not bad.

i think she is real good at doing out of sight, out of mind, push shit under the rug. but i worry about shit. i cant ignore or avoid it. i worry about it.

scott weiland dead. well cant say im surprised! im surprised he lived this long! they arent saying what it was yet, but it HAD TO BE drugs. prob heroin. maybe heroin mixed with cocaine. he was a good singer but obviously a huge degenerate. but i can understand the want to do hard drugs. sometimes i think heroin would be good for me to block out the pain hhahhaahaha. i wonder what kind of father he was to his 2 known children. probably horrible hahaha.

when you are in LUV with somebody, you want to have secs with THEM AND ONLY THEM. you arent tempted by other people. well at least im not. i can say yeah that gurl at the gym is very attractive but i just dont care abotu banging them. secs is something special you do with your loved one, and i only have one loved one.

is this really so controversial and weird?????!!!??????

i kinda want to contact her and say THIS IS WRONG. YOU CANT DO THIS. THIS IS HORRIBLE. YOU SHOULD FEEL HORRIBLE and beg for my forgiveness. which i do because i still luv you hahaha. but now i HATE you a bit too and want you to suffer for this. by having your heart broken AGAIN, devastating you, making you quit your job, being abandoned and thrown away without a word. YOU DONT DO THAT TO SOMEONE. i will never do this to someone even though its been done to me. i know you had you heart broken but you didnt have to do it to ME. get mad at that guy. not ME.

shit it makes perfect sense, i made a big breakthrough. this hate shes showing to me is really a projection of the hate she feels towards him, but cant express to him.

she doesnt really hate ME, she hates HIM! maybe i should contact her to tell her this hahahha.

so her brain is not workign regarding her hating me and throwing me away.

does that mean her brain isnot working correctly regarding her having feelings for me?

i dont think so, that is, i think she really does know what she wants regarding having feelings for me, that is, she REALLY doesnt have feelings for me.

and if she DID, she would come to me begging forgiveness. or have a friend or family contact me. i would totally take that hahahaha. she could have her mom email, call, or text me on her behalf if shes too ashamed………and i wouldnt blame her for being ashamed! ……… so maybe i SHOULD contact her then!

shit. like 110 days of NIC and i am still thinking about contacting her!

how to take verbal abuse at work?

you say, dont talk to me like that. treat me with respect.

and if they fire you they fire you. you have the moral high ground.

if it’s your boss, go to your boss’s boss and tell them so and so is being verbally abusive. you have told them to stop, but they continue. please have a chat with them and tell them to stop being a fooking rude little phaggot bitch. it reflects poorly on our company. thank you.

if a customer is verbally abusing you, say, if you do not calm down and show me some respect, i will be forced to hang up. ITS YOUR CHOICE. ITS UP TO YOU. even if your companys policy is to sit there and take the abuse. then let the company fire you. you have the moral high ground.

symphony of sorrowful songs, heres some great nondegenerate music that will chill you out, rahter than scott weiland shooting dope, banging whores, and abandoning his children. thats exactly why i dont listen to music, its made by people like that.

i used to be a big led zeppelin fan, but led zeppelin were HUGE degenerates, perhaps the biggest degens of all.

i also like the music of grateful dead, allman brothers, a lot of 70s bands………all degenerates.

all those metal bands i like? degen. drunk nihilists who would sell their soul for slutty groupies.

hehe i bet even henryk gorecki was a degenerate. tons of gay sex at music school hahaha. abandoning his children. drugs. he was a j00.

ok he was not a j00, he was a straight up polish roman catholic. good. ok he doesnt seem too degen reading his biog. but you never know. there is only one sentence about his wife and keedz.

QUOTE

”  In 1972, he was promoted to assistant professor,[24] and developed a fearsome reputation among his students for his often blunt personality. According to the Polish composer Rafał Augustyn, “When I began to study under Górecki it felt as if someone had dumped a pail of ice-cold water over my head. He could be ruthless in his opinions. The weak fell by the wayside but those who graduated under him became, without exception, respected composers”.[25] Górecki admits, “For quite a few years, I was a pedagogue, a teacher in the music academy, and my students would ask me many, many things, including how to write and what to write. I always answered this way: If you can live without music for 2 or 3 days, then don’t write…It might be better to spend time with a girl or with a beer…If you cannot live without music, then write.”[37]    ”

i THINK what he MEANS is, just give it up, if you can live without music for even 2 or 3 days, you dont have what it takes, go find solace in women or booze instead, you are not a real musician.

I DUNNO, i can go 2 or 3 days without msuic BECUASE i find musicians too degenerate exactly about stuff like women and booze! is how i would reply to gorecki.

but he was talking to academic classical musicians at a conservatory, not to teen scumbags in a garage huffing glue and drinking cheap vodka and smoking dirtweed and bathsalts and meth and popping pain pills and banging white trash tattooed sluts who like guys in shitty bands. two very different kidns of musician here.

maybe i should try arvo part?

philip glass. whoops he is a j00. as is steve reich. no i dont hate all j00s and not all j00s are total degenerates……but at this stage of my life, i dont really really really NEED any additional j00ish influence in my life such that i seek out new j00s to add it to. even if philip glass is awesome.

well lets put it this way, i would prefer to cut out ALL TV from my life, before I add philip glass into it. also listening to new music at my age takes effort i dont have. its not worth it. the pros do not outweigh the cons.

its amazing they dont have a pcture of this san bernardino shooters wife. or gurlfran or whatever. supposedly she radicalized him. but who ever heard of a WOMAN who doesnt have a PICTURE of herself? women LITERALLY take pictures of themselves EVERY DAY because theyre NARCISSISTS hahahahahaha.

laci green, i have been hearing about her, she sounds like a real degenerate. started life as a nice white mormon girl, became a pro-slut, pansexual, atheist, planned parenthood, sex educator. NOPE!!!!!

http://io9.com/5606765/myths-about-the-love-hormone-oxytocin-that-could-ruin-your-love-life

she shares a link stating that oxytocin is bullshit pushed by sex negative conservatives like me hahahaha so go ahead and take 900000000000 casual  cox

she makes a scant 20 videos a year, has a MILLION subscribers, and doesnt have one single video talking about faithfulness, loyalty, heartbreak, feelings, monogamy, or communication.

its just all hookups, buttplay, squirting, consent, FWB, NSA, open rels, chill hangouts, 50 shades of gray, orgasms, shaving, labias, queefing, degen shit. nothing on how to COMMUNICATE about your FEELINGS in a RELATIONSHIP with a HUMAN BEING.

yet this is her fookin CAREER. ridiculous.

there is nothing wrong with jealousy. it means you dont want your partner to DUMP YOU or CHEAT ON you. so it means you dont trust your partner? WELL, SHOULD YOU? have they really earned your trust? or does she have 90000000000000 guy friends and is always talking to guys? and has had 9000000000000 boifrans and dumped them all after short rels? fook no you shouldnt trust that!

hehehe i guess i secretly want to bang her but she would never let me because i am creepy and old and take sex too seriously and just a creepy white creep loser hahahaa

oh yeah i saw her on MW favorites, where a switched on person asks laci green if shed ever heard of rotherham and of course she hadnt, over a year later. someone who fights against “rape culture” has never heard of the biggest mass raping in years.

sargon of akkad is huge and shows how normal people dont like feminists and sjws and is kinda bringing good stuff in to the mainstream. he appeared suddenly and grew quickly and now makes $1000 per video. amazing. a year ago i never heard of him.

anyway i just want him to say, im left or im right. rather than be a weak leftist libertarian who just happens to dislike feminism because he’s too beta to SMASH PVSSY hahahaha. and mad that feminists are bitching about vidya games in gamergate hahahaha.

goddam bitch! i betrayed her by getting feelings for her???!?!?! SHE BETRAYED ME by throwing me away like a piece of garbage when we had known each other for almost 3 years!!!!!!!!!! you dont do that to someone you KNOW, no matter if youre ANGRY at them!!! you only get to throw away people you dont know! lets say less than 3 MONTHS but even 2 months would be better!

is this an all women thing? do all women throw men away like this? wiht no remorse?

ARE ALL WOMEN LIKE THAT???!?!?!?!?!?!

no just 99% of them hahahaha.

whenever i say “99% of x are bad”, i remind myself i’m PROBABLY engaging in all or nothing thinking, and it would be a DRASTIC IMPROVEMENT to instead say “This is all or nothing thinking. how about only 50% of them are like that. THATS MUCH BETTER.” and indeed it is!!!!!!!!!!1

when there is any doubt, always go with 50%!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

WOES makes a good point that when some rightists and esp libertarians harp about MUH FREEDOMS, they seem to be confusing FREEDOM with LICENSE, in the sense of LICENTIOUSNESS, ie DEGENERACY. ie FREEDOM TO BE A DEGENERATE. do anything any everything as long as you are not hurting anyone besides yourself.

well i say that degeneracy like casual sex is not a victimless crime: what about the hearts you break? thats a big deal i’d say. if you break even one heart, you should do some sort of commensurate punishment: like abstain from casual sex for at least one year. beg the person for forgiveness, better yet, earn their forgiveness. give them a new job, give them a full ounce of dank MJ, give them $1000, give them 30 tapering-off bangs, LISTEN to their monologues and their long emails, apologize profusely.

well just because youre not having a rel, doesnt mean casual sex people treat their secx partners like DISPOSABLE REPLACEABLE GARBAGE. or so they say hahaha. i mean they really do. well, maybe give these sexually immoral degens the benefit of the doubt haha. but honestly these dumb sluts on laci greens videos dont understand that for men to get sex, it takes SKILL. for women to get sex, it takes NOTHING. NO SKILL. thats a big part of why the slut stud double standard exists. and it all springs from woman are the ones who get pregnant, and getting pregnant is a BIG DEAL. thats why its hard for men to get sex.

i dont mind THAT at all. it only makes sense given the pregnancy thing. what DOES annoy me is when WOMEN dont RECOGNIZE this, and they think its ok to be sluts!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and complain about slut shaming! being a slut IS shameful, period! and they dont recognize this. they of all people SHOULD recongize this! how can WOMEN, the ones who DO get pregnant, NOT understand this? because pregnancy gives them a kind of power or privilege (heheheheheh) and when you have Pvssy Privilege, you dont NEED to understand, like what sjw sensitive narcissist triggered college student crybullies say about cis white privilege?

well….these are kinda self-selected sluts, no? the type of peopel who would watch, comment, respect LACI GREEN. of COURSE theyre dumb sluts! who dont understand how the mating market works, how the world works, how nature works. MORONS.

i wouldnt mind using the elliptical if it didnt MAKE you go a minimum of 5 mph. i like to go 3 mph most of the time, then bump it up to 5.5 only some of the time. certainly less than half.