MALE FRIENDS WHO GET FEELINGS ARE FALSELY ACCUSED OF BEING NICEGUYSTM

nov 21

went to sears and walmart today, pretty exciting. disappointed by sears, impressed by walmart. well, in terms of price and selection. sears was a much classier place.  but is was super expensive.

walmart had pretty good clothes with its george brand and its wrangler ultimate khakis.

dentists are all k1kes. women are all whores. women are all unreliable flaky children. all businesses are all looking for ways to scam and joo you. see i have all these PARANOID DELUSIONS, nonstop DISTORTIONS, that the world is a worse place than it really is.

make no mistake, its a rough place, and its yet another cog distort to think that the world is FAIR, becuase its NOT…..but there is no need to think that everybody is out to joo you and scam you and abandon you ALL THE TIME, then you become PARANOID and bitter.

really i have to JUST STOP THINKING. almost every thought i have is a negative Distortion, so it helps me just to NOT THINK AT ALL. also dont feel either. stop thinking, stop feeling. every thought or feeling i get is WRONG and needs to be challenged and disputed.

no not all women are sociopaths!

well OBVIOUSLY! Im just bothered that fully HALF of women are!

so thats too damn high! and godawful! reason to despair!

so you just deal with it by learning to spot the sociopaths vs the nonsociopaths, and stay away from the sociopaths!

really the bad thing is when a nonsociopath does a sociopathic THING!

and a sociopathic THING is usually better attributed to Cowardice and Immaturity and Fear, than being an Evil Sociopath!

QED.

ok so.

it is what it is what it is what it is what it is.

thats what you say to satisfy and explain shit for a REAL IRATE customer who is demanding to speak to the manager. (meanwhile you are 35 and have never supervised anyone in your life.)

when it is what it is is just not good enough!

but yeah even though i purposely went to “the whiter walmart” based on the two nearby walmarts, it was still trashier in terms of the customers and the employees than the usual SuperMart I frequent. great place, but just not as good price or selection on some clothes.

probably the best thing is to just order at target online in increments large enough to get free shipping, and then return the shit to a local target if it doesnt fit. repeat process.

http://www.businessinsider.com/things-to-remove-from-resume-2016-11/

34 things that get your res thrown in the garbage hahahaha

wow so if you didnt get a 3.8 gpa in college, dont even put it?

that is like top 10% gpa or better.

so getting a 2.0 is as good as getting a 3.7. got it. fooking phaggots.

very trigger article. triggers many angry cognitive distortions hahahaha.

i bet this bitch only got a 29 on the act and took 29 cox in college hahahahaha the fookin whore

would like to try, at least once, taking brisk walk in the neighborhood at night time, since it now gets dark at 5 pm, but bring a FLASHLIGHT so as to be visible and not suspicious. this could go either way, but i want to try it once.

keto diet supposedly you can lose a lot of weight and not be damn starving all the time hahahaha.

you eat a lot of fats and meats. bacon. hahahaha. no sugar, no carbs. lots of protein, lots of fat, no grains.

bacon, eggs, steak, beef, chickun.

https://authoritynutrition.com/ketogenic-diet-101/

i mean yeah pretty much a new word for the paleo diet hahaha

ok i guess NOT a lot of protein. i mean you can have SOME protein, its nowhere near as bad as CARBS, but high FAT is the main thing. just eat tons of bacon hahahahahaha.

i guess milk is bad because too many carbs, but cheese is fine. butter is fine.

heard about this on the fatherland, two of the guys lost about 50 pounds each doing a keto diet. but i dont really need to lose weight any more!

maybe that woman rejected me because i was too fat at the time and she liked skinny guys hahahahaha. yes i am being intentionally facetious, even i am not so fooked up that i think this way.

so i start the job in december but i technically got the job in NOVEMBER.

this means i can put november on resume and applications and make it look like muh gap was only 16 months instead of 17 months! hahahahahahahahahaha

so yeah keto is like even lower carb than low carb, and you get a keto flu for the first few weeks haha.

heh. this reminds me of that woman, was was also staunchly anti despair meds. that they erase your mind and turn you into a zombie, chemical lobotomy, so the big pharma joos can get more shekels.

i can udnerstand this because i was kinda the same way. however i thought she would judge me and dump me if she knew i was taking them. hey im not thrilled about it either. ideally i wouldnt be. but i really dont think they turn me into a zombie. they dont seem to do much of anything hahahahaha. and its stupid that someone would DUMP their bf over this. bitches amirite hahahaha.

holy shit what a bitch. she is gonna dump him because hes just so cringey and socially awkward. hes a nice guy but hes just not social in the right way and i dont know idk ikr?

reddit HATES christians. good thing he still considers hmself christian. hes jsut having doubts about the no secs till marriage thing. well he still dates gurls, just gets dumped when he says hes saving himself hahahaha.

i would say just bang one of those sluts and be like, i havent had secs in 2 years cuz i was getting over another woman, and because im a warrior of christ, i take human life serious, so im gonna be pretty bad at this, because im not always fooking like some god damn heathen animal negro baalist.

”   My guess? He’s seriously lacking in self-esteem and self-worth, which makes him scared of getting rejected. This is why he doesn’t want to go to bars or do online dating: too high a chance of getting rejected based on physical traits.
This is also why he tries to turn friends into girlfriends. His (flawed) thinking is that he has less chance of getting rejected by someone a friend, because there is already an established closeness and friendship. He’s confusing falsely equating friendly intimacy to romantic intimacy and, ironically, it makes it more likely that he’ll get rejected, simply because women (understandably) hate the bait-and-switch “friendship” of Nice GuysTM , where they pretend to be a friend just to get close and then attempt to turn things romantic.
This dude has to crash and burn a bunch more times before he’ll figure it out. IF he’ll figure it out at all.    ”

ok this guy in this post DOES seem like a niceguytm, but since all women do is bitch about niceguystms all the goddam time, they forget that ITS VERY POSSIBLE for a man and woman to be normal friends, then after a while, the guy DEVELOPS feelings for the woman, it wasnt a bait and switch. he apprecaited the friend intimacy and has decided that he wants to try to upgrade that to romantic intimacy. he knows they are different but possibly similar and possibly related!

ITS NOT ALWAYS A BAIT AND SWITCH!

ITS NOT EVEN A BAIT AND SWITCH MOST OF THE TIME!

but this idea of the niceguytm, i think women are seeing niceguystm where its just an honest, non bait and switch, friend who got feelings! which is VERY VERY different than a niceguytm!

ITS NOT ALWAYS BAIT AND SWITCH! ITS NOT ALWAYS ULTERIOR MOTIVES! ITS NOT ALWAYS WAITING IN THE WINGS!

so i just wanted to stand up for all the male friends who got feelings, who get FALSELY ACCUSED OF BEING NICEGUYS.

YES i TOTALLY understand the idea of a niceguy and why women dont like them! I wouldnt like them!

WHICH IS WHY I DONT LIKE BEING ACCUSED OF BEING ONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

GOD DAMN!!!!!!!!

so now you have to have secs with women you dont even really get along with, to guarantee you arent put in the friendzone if you DO end up getting along with her, but you dont, because she gave it up too fast like a slut hahahaha.

who cares i just want to work my new job and sm0ke mj and wear walmart clothing hhahahahahahaha

all this talk about fookin niceguys MAKES PEOPLE FORGET that there is a LEGIT situation that KINDA looks like niceguyism but its totally not.

WIMMIN FORGET THAT THERE IS ANY OTHER INTERPRETATION OF THIS. THAT HE MIGHT NOT BE A NICEGUY, but that he was just a friend who got feelings.

IF ANYTHING, THATS THE SIMPLER EXPLANATION!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

this gets me really rustled and triggered because thats essentially what happened to me. she accused me of being a deceptive, bait and switch nice guy, when i wasnt, when i KNOW thats bad, when i was just a plain old friend who got feelings!!!!!!

well i dont KNOW that she ACCUSED me of that, but her actions are more consistent with her being mad at me for being a Bait And Switch Niceguy, than her being Understanding of me being a Friend Who Got Feeligns!!!!!!!!!!!

I KNOW WHY NICEGUYS ARE BAD! I DONT WANT TO BE LIKE THAT!!! DONT THINK OF ME LIKE THAT!!!! THERES A MUCH MORE REASONABLE EXPLANATION FOR ALL THIS!!!! WHY WONT YOU BELIEVE IT!!!!! OH GOD IM NOT JUST DELUDING MYSELF AM I???????

nov 22

yeah so that bugs the shit out of me. when people read your mind wrong. when they think youre thinking something youre not, and dont even give you a chance to respond to the bullshit accusations.

no i DONT feel entitled to Secs or a rel with you! but i DO kinda feel entitled to a CHANCE TO DEFEND MYSELF AGAINST THESE BULLSHIT ACCUSATIONS!

its like they think this niceguy explanation is reasonable, while the MUCH MORE REASONABLE explanation of Friend Who Got Feelings, isnt even CONSIDERED. THATS what bothers me.

and whats WRONG with seeing the nice Friendship Intimacy and thinking, wow, this is really nice, maybe this could develop into an even more serious form of intimacy!

its not the SAME THING, but there is a similarity in that they are both forms of intimacy. might be more of a difference in degree than in kind.

and this bullshit about putting in the niceguy coins and feeling entitled to a relship……more bullshit lies trying to build up this niceguy narrative.

i just hate all this talk about niceguys and how every time theres a guy getting feelings hes a NICEGUYTM.

back before all this niceguy shit people had a much more healthy view of this, namely, sometimes men get feelings for their female friends, it gets complicated, but sometimes a very nice relship can come out of it. you gotta gamble and roll the dice. go all in. when harry met sally haahhaah. he wasnt a NICEGUY was he?

i already went all in and lost! i dont want to be accused of my motives being something theyre not!

insult to injury!

MY AIM IS TRUE hahahahaah.

i dont deny that niceguy situations happen. i just dont think they happen in more than 25% of cases of Feelings In A Friendship. whereas the women bloggers and redditors would have you beleive it happens a full 100% of the time, that its the ONLY explanation, which is TOTAL FOOKING BULLSHIT.

so yeah it INFURIATES me when this bullshit nonsense is used by someone who was important to me, who was a real friend, who got caught up in this horrible narrative, didnt even want to listen to me explain myself, and automatically assumed the worst about me.

i dont feel entitled to a relship with you, I KNOW its a huge gamble. i DO feel KINDA entitled to you just fooking LISTENING to me and TRYING to understand my point of view. and i didnt get that at ALL.

JUST LISTEN TO ME. LISTEN TO ME PLEASE. PLEASE LISTEN.

I DONT THINK THATS TOO FOOKING MUCH TO ASK.

yes asking for a full blown romantic rel is too much to ask, and yeah i did WANT it. but is it wrong to WANT it? i dont think so.

was watching a documentary on tcm last night about shit happening in chile in the early 70s. basically boiled down to fascists vs communists so, very interesting. i know it ultimately ended in the rise of the great general pinochet ahahhahahaha. but it was kinda confusing too.  the filmmakers were clearly on the side of the commies unfort.  and i guess the US was involved in supporting the “fascists.”

the movie did not explain shit very well at all. like oh this guy is the damn president allende. allende is a communist. how many parties are in the govt. how socialist was allende. what are these employer organizations. what damn year is this. what are the exact charges being brought. who is “the opposition.” the opposition was actually the right wing, fascist, anti-allende people. pinochet wasnt even MENTIONED in the first 100 minutes hahaha.

men do all the EMOTIONAL LABOR, all the RELATIONSHIP LABOR hahahahaha.

well maybe not all men. just me. I am sick of doing ALL the labor. there needs to be an equitable division of relationship labor.

ok i do concede that probably ALL WOMEN have experienced the Cringeyness of a Niceguy at least once in their lives.

(something is “cringey”? SUCH FIRST WORLD PROBLEMS! There are worse things than to CRINGE! methinks the LADY DOTH PROTEST TOO MUCH!!!!!!)

but women have experienced a GAMUT of relship drama that men havent, cuz women are always in relships, thats only fair, because women are the supply, men are the demand, so of COURSE women will always be in relships and dealing with the weird drama inherent therein.

but is weird drama REALLY THAT inherent to relships? or do the women just manufacture the drama because they NEED the drama because theyre crazy and neurotic?

thats pretty jooish hahahaha.

i want a woman who isnt so damn jooish.

heard a ridiculous story of Restaurant Drama recently. 22 year old waitress is recently divorced, has several young kids. she Quickly Hooks Up with a male server at her workplace. they quickly move in together. i guess he is a little older. it gets Hot N Heavy. after not too long they have a fight and she goes out partying with other male employees from the restaurant, dumps the BF. the BF beats the shit out of the woman, he goes to jail, she goes to hospital. the very next day, they are both scheduled to work at the same damn time. but they are essentially both quitting immediately.

and this is not some trashy dump of a restaurant either!

and i wouldnt be surprised if these are all white people!

but i dont know that. they could well be arabs or albanians……which would be easier to swallow. for me hahaha.

but yeah this is what they mean when they say the restaurant world is degen as fook. wouldnt be surprised if there is some coke and booze and pain pills involved in here too.

if i were in a situation like that, would I want to BEAT the woman?

i’ve never beaten a woman by my current advanced age hahaha so that bodes well, i prob never will.

but the weird truth is, ive never been CLOSE enough to a woman to beat them!

beating usually comes when there is relship trouble. meaning you have to actually HAVE a relship AND the woman hasn’t just walked away. shes gotta sorta stay with you for at least a few days for you to BEAT her.

i mean ive DEFINITELY got angry. wished so and so would get R’d by a pack of N’s, maybe i should B muh brains out right in front of her, all sorts of violent thoughts hahahaha.

i could see myself punching a wall or slamming a door, which is now seen as Abuse.

SLAMMING A DOOR IS ABUSE. come on.

well punching the wall is abuse because it shows you want to punch HER.

i can definitely see myself raising my voice and screaming like a fookin madman and going on a rant like a crazy person. screaming at the top of my lungs in total mad mel fashion. is that abuse?

probably. i am a bad man, a woman abuser, a woman beater then hahahaha.

writing long emails is abuse.

wanting someone to hang out with you is abuse hehehehe.

wanting someone to listen to your side of the story is abuse.

wanting somebody to not falsely accuse you is abuse hehehehehehe.

i mean i want to know if i did something wrong becuase i dont like doing wrong things. i WANT to feel guilt and shame for doing bad, and then learn to do better in the future.

well thing is, i have felt SO bad, that i WOULD have paid penance if i HAD done something really bad! in other words, i’ve already felt enough guilt to atone for something REALLY bad like cheating!

but i didnt do anything NEARLY that bad!

i wasnt completely innocent, but this was like a PARKING TICKET, not a damn FELONY. and i felt TOO MUCH guilt and pain!

i needed her to come out and say this was a parking ticket, not a felony. but she didnt deny it was a felony, and kinda acted like it was a felony, and i felt great guilt and pain as if it were a felony!

well at least i know if I DID do something bad, i would feel appropriately bad about it! remorse and guilt and shame and all that.

got columbia steens mountain fleece jacket, Large, plain black. looks great, TINY bit bigger than i expected, but not horrendously big, dont think i should have gotten a M.

might be worth getting another one in a different color. they have a lot of great colors.

how do you tell an angry caller that their broken piece of shit is not covered by the warranty?

look up the 14880000000 page/item warranty contact for their item, read, understand, and explain. ITS SIMPLE GOY!

but doesnt it take hours to read that long document with 60000000000 paragraphs and conditions?

isnt that shit written in very obtuse legal language?

dont you have good Reading Comprehension Skills goy? Read And Understand! read the words on the page! can’t you read words and understand what they MEAN? maybe youre not the best fit for this job goy!

i just hated how she was better at that shit than me, yet she couldn’t understand what our situation meant.

shit she didnt understand those long documents either. she would just say sorry nothing we can do. just start the shit over again, sorry, anything else i can help you with?

how can the most fooked up violent drug addicted degenerates WORK and make money as a Waiter? then have a violent bipolar meltdown, then just get another job at another restaurant because everyone who works in restaurants is like this?

you just need to be overly confident, good at bullshitting, and a good people person.

i am not at all confident, but i am sorta ok sometimes at bullshitting, and actually about an average people person, maybe even slightly above! just because i am nice to customers and i actually want to help them. i approach them in good faith. i give them good faith efforts, well actually way above and beyond.

but this is because i am a people pleaser. and that is BAD.

but is it worse than being a Bad People Person? probably NOT.

so i got that going for me hahahaha.

am i just blowing this niceguy thing out of proportion? IVE BEEN KNOWN TO DO THAT SOMETIMES hahaha.

i mean some women arent even aware of the Whole Niceguy Meme.

Maybe they have a Reasonable View of Niceguys Vs Friend Who Got Feelings.

Maybe they are willing to listen to the guys point of view rather than BTFO him pure fooking armageddon.

claimed 2 allowances on muh w4 because i couldnt remember. now i think i usually claim 0, which means fedgov OVERWITHHOLDS, therefore I am OVERPAYING taxes with every paycheck, therefore i get a decent REFUND in april.

but this time i actually read and followed the instructions for w4, which, if im reading them correctly, and IM NOT SURE I AM, guided me to choose 2. so i put 2. but i never remember putting 2 before!

so im trying 2 now. see how it goes. i might have to PAY TAXES in april then.

i kinda wanted to try this, because of the theory that Overwithholding (ie using 0) is like “letting FEDGOV borrow your money interest free!” and since i dont like fedgov using my money for FREE, then this year i am going to Claim 2 Allowances. maybe i should have started slow with 1.

but i was just following the damn instructions!

but the instructions are so unclear, its like reading a WARRANTY CONTRACT hahahaha.

so how do i figure this out?

call the IRS help desk, where a guy no more trained than me reads the exact same thing as i did, and uses his not so superior powers of Reading Comprehension. READ AND UNDERSTAND hahahaha.

so i kinda want to get a Cheap Sweatshirt. Black. something like Hanes or Fruit of the Loom or Champion or something. what i learned this week is that i can go to WALMART and get something like that for 5 bucks. PERFECT.

went to local restaurant on a monday night and it was PACKED with people. there were a lot of attractive women in there, and almost every young girl working there as a waitress was young and qt af, easily 8/10 hahahaha. it was INSANE.

and then i feel butthurt like these qt young girls can handle this job, but i couldnt. well theyre sluts who take 20 cox by age 20. but i wish they would take MY coq! but im too weird and creepy for them!

https://upfrommorallylazyloserness.wordpress.com/2016/01/31/relationship-nventory/

ayyyy lets link back to this one, just say its a top 10% post

heres a fooking happy place and good memories: i was 21, 22 years old, and i would get together with these two guys who were real good guys, and we would play mario kart 64 on n64 and sm0ke MJ. get blazed as fook and have intense hours of mario kart competition. MJ is degen and vidya is degen but those were honestly some of the happiest times of muh life. that did not involve making out and falling in luv with some casual slut hahahaha.

i would very much like to get ahold of kart 64 and do this again in the future. i dont care about any of the other versions. its gotta be 64. best mario kart ever.

go to all u can eat grill place and get bowls o beef. stuff self like fat slob. discover you still havent gone over on calories because you mostly ate Straight Beef and very little noodles. basically had bowls of beef with a smidgen of rice noodles and tons of spices. i guess the sauces probably had calories in them hahaha.

so yeah lesson learned, eat no noodles, eat tons of fatty meats hahahaha. their sirloin and ny strip beef was not fatty enough for my ideal, but it was still very tasty. i was very  THANKFUL.

downloading an n64 emulator so i can try playing kart 64 and mario golf 64 on the computer hehehehe.

http://www.emuparadise.me/roms/n64/

horry sheet it actually WORKS. i am playing kart RIGHT NOW.

its pretty hard with the keyboard is the thing though.

welp might as well try mario golf then hahahahaha

done. looks pretty good man!

zelda ocarina of time??! SHUT UP AND TAKE MUH MONEY.jpg hahahahahahaha

i mean yeah. that is an experience i would like to share with muh aryan tradwaifu, wherever she is hahahaha. would get blazed like n1993rs, have intimate, loving, and maybe slightly rough secs, have tender cuddling, sm0ke moar mj, then play mario kart 64. watch triumph of the will. cuddle.

this is all shit i wanted to do with HER of course, daydreamed about all that. but the good lord vetoed that dream hahaha. that woman vetoed the dream because she didnt want to do that. i didnt say she HAD to, i just said it would be NICE. it would be really really NICE.

was i LAME and CRINGEY to her? absolutely i was, VERY MUCH CRINGE. I NEVER denied that hahaha.

ooooh boy this sucks. i would HOPE for some UNDERSTANDING and EMPATHY from muh gf to not goddamn JUDGE me just because i am not as successful and dont luv muh career as much as she does, so therefore i have too many ISSUES and we need to go on BREAK and FIX myself, and she’s always gonna hold it over his head that he’s not quite FIXED himself enough, so ultimatum, she’s gonna leave. jeezum crow.

i just hate this shit. welp your career isnt fulfilling you quite enough for ME, therefore im gonna leave you because youre not QUITE where i think you should be in your career. oh well its not just me, you admitted you werent happy in your career! so get happy on MY timeframe or i will leave you. i warned you already, this is your final chance, goddamn, so incorrigible and stubborn, cant improve his career fast enough, ill just dump you and find a man who is secure and happy in his career.

fookin bitch hahahaha.

 

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THE TIME HAS COME WHERE I/YOU NEED TO MEET NEW WOMEN

for sat april 15

now: sept 6 2016

sept 7 2016

sheeeeeeeeeeeeeit.

yeah i have been physically not too great, mentally/emo not too great either since coming back from muh “vacation.” hehehehe. when I got back I promptly went to bed for 16 hours. the next day I was still tired and had aches and pains all over the body. i had done some lifting and carrying of stuff but it really didnt seem bad enough to produce such soreness!

also had annoying borderline water faucet colon which i usually only get in the morning after drinking a lot of coffee too fast, but here it lasted all day and that was very annoying. couldnt even enjoy a nice powerwalk without thinking im gonna shart muh pants.

have been getting sharper “carpal tunnel” pains lately. this has been going on for at least a year but the last couple days its been more noticeable. it is honestly probably enough to get me a medical MJ recommendation for “chronic pain”!!!!! not even joking.

was taking pepto bismol which usually helps with the watery #2’s, but didnt seem to help much yesterday. at the end of the day was very tired. not just low energy, but darn exhausted, even though i hadn’t done anything. slept pretty well again but could have slept longer if i hadnt forced self.

yassss got new shoes from zappos, they seem to fit well. i mean my current shoes are just terrible. they are SO worn down, but really all on one side, so the shoes are very lopsided and diagonal and that cant be good for the foot.  i mean i should have upgraded these shoes months ago. i hope i havent done permanent damage hahahaha. basically i am an overpronator and the outside of the shoe gets worn down much much much more.

but yeah i just felt like i was 80 years old hahahaha.

THANK GOD for the new shoes though. this is my typical thing though. wait way too long to replace stuff that should be replaced. or get haircut. or clothes.

honestly cant stop pooping. this is ridiculous.

new shoes feel gr8! that is awesome. very good. THANK GOD. because this is a privilege most people dont have. buying new shoes when they need them.

yeah so i wore the shoes and took a 3.2 mile walk and the shoes were great.

388 days since i sent her the last contact. i figure 400 days is a nice round number. nicer than 365. but a YEAR is a nice round period of time. why arent years 400 days hahahaha.

422 days since i last talked to her, abotu 419 days since i last SAW her.

theres a thought that I should address Muh Egregious Red Flag Employment Gap in muh cover letter. I am open to doing this.

fdfdfgfg

hg

hgh

ghghghgh

ok. gave this one a try because i liked the cover art hahahaha. wanted to see how the production and songwriting compares to “ashes against the grain.” there seems to be more blasting in a blatant black metal style on Marrow of the spirit, so, I like that. now the SOUND on MOTS is really interesting. I think I like it, it’s definitely provocative so yeah that’s good. the drums sound a little weird and the guitars sound very “warm” and fuzzy. the whole thing sounds rawer and more underproduced than I was expecting, not in a bad way of course.

it sounds like they intentionally tried to make their sound more “raw” or “live” or “organic”, and in theory, I am always in support of this.

heh. finally applied for job. 30k county job. i prefer to apply for the 26k county jobs, but i have gotten interviewed for a 42k county job!

i want to work for you because you have a MF day shift, weekends off, no overtime, 37.5 hour work week, and bennies. so its a good fit for me because i dont handle stress or pressure well hahahahahaha. or customers. thats why i have to be high on xanax all day at work hahahahahaha.

no obviously i don’t actually often USE benzos. i brought 3 valiums with me to our little vacation, and i completely FORGOT about them. sheeeeit. they may have come in handy when i was freaking out because of the MJ! which is the entire reason I brought the valium!!!!!

i am very close to the cusp of focusing hardcore on temp/staffing agencies. recruiters for temp jobs.

because the only people that will “take a chance” on such a RISKY person as me, are the absolutely bottom of the barrel shittiest jobs that will hire ANYONE……or MAYBE jobs where the job contract is limited. temporary. finite. temp. if the person sucks, they will be gone soon.

also if i go a week without an interview, the confidence def goes down. as you get 2 or 3 rejection emails a day hahahaha.

heh. if i got rejected by WOMEN like this, I would have even less confidence hahahaha.

or maybe i just wouldnt care and would bullshit the things i am supposed to bullshit to get women to spread for muh dick hahahahahaha. maybe it would actually be EASIER.

yeah that sounds woman hating, but You Women really DO give it up to easily and don’t have the appropriate RESPECT for SECS, like your biological role in secs. I dont NEED to have as much respect for secs, because men just dump sperm. the costs and risks and responsibilities are much higher for women. RESPECT that.

ok forced my way thru 2 applications. again i am getting discouraged here so i am not applying to “reach” stuff with muh dream orgs unless they are fairly low paying…..and of course these jobs skew towards high paying.

unbelievable. company sending a pdf for me to complete…..but its not an editable pdf. they literally want me to print it out, fill it out by hand, then scan it, then send THAT pdf back. this is a fairly big company where that shit is blatantly embarrassing.

so instead I am converting the pdf to a jpg and trying to edit it in paint. not working so well. with the text boxes and shit.

this is truly a very good album!

it took me basically the whole album just to fill out that shit. using pixlr to add text boxes, rasterize, and draw little circles. unbelievable. they are looking for skills in VISIO and PROJECT which i technically have hahaha yet their goddam Talent Acquisition Team can’t make a pdf editable. absolutely disgraceful. See, I would volunteer my personal time after work to make the pdf editable so they wouldnt have to pay me for that work.

plus i get to show extreme ingenuity and cleverness and problem solving with this pdf to jpg, pixlr, jpg to pdf nonsense, hahahaha. sending them back a pdf that was 8 times larger in size than the one they sent me hahahaha.

because they couldnt do any of this with plain text, saying, answer all of these questions in your reply email. nooooooo that would be too easy.

or god forbid have something in the taleo applicant tracking system THEY ALREADY HAVE AND USE.

but yeah. then they wanted me to explain in the REPLY EMAIL any Gaps in the past 7 years, and also all Reasons For Separation in the past 7 years. I guess I should be glad they didnt ask for 20 years!

but this implies they are gonna read the email……so why demand the shitty, shitty pdf as well?

just to make shit more difficult and weed out the weak.

so I will be PISSED if this doesnt result in an interview.

i added an extra 20 minutes to the spreadsheet for the amount of time it took to apply for this job.

thinking SEARS might be a better place than jcpenneys for me hahahaha.

just looking for t-shirts that have like STRIPES or patterns or some shit, that is not a damn “graphic tee.”

something that is more interesting than just a solid color t shirt, which is what i usually wear, but that is kinda boring!

interesting. what gets me most worked about That Woman is not really thoughts of her spending time and being nice to other men, and loving them and cuddling with them, but really the more x rated stuff, like her sucking dick, fooking her, her sitting on their face and them licking her asshole, hahahahahahahaha. banging her from behind, banging her from the front, tongue in the mouth, her sighing and breathing heavy and getting juice all over. that real porno stuff, which isnt even all porno stuff, but actual real life secs stuff. that is what gets me angery.

that is the sort of stuff that gets me all hot and bothered!

anyway of course i should not be thinking about it at all.

but yeah i have no interest in other women. occasionally i will see a young qt i want to bang but not super often. and i would STILL want to bang HER moar!!!!!!

stupid shit really.

basically i cant ever imagine WANTING another woman as much as her, and also that i will never STOP wanting her!

i mean yeah it has gotten better. and yeah i DID eventually stop wanting those other women. it just took like 2 years hahahaha. and it hasnt been 2 years with this woman yet.

just no interest in women other than to maybe opportunistically bang unmarriageable sluts. great. and never fully exorcise the memory of HER. because I always got along with HER best, we had the most special best connection.

yeah well if it was so good, how come she couldnt even send me a damn text message and just say awwwww im sorry ok now im blocking you sorry.

or have her family or our mutual friend send that message to me for her.

but yeah that connection! even if it was just for me. how am I ever gonna feel that way about someone else ever again? and that is what I WANT to feel for muh wife, the mother of muh children!

yeah it def was the worst heartbreak.

the OBVIOUS ANSWER to how do i forget about HER is……….MEET NEW WOMEN!!!!!!!!!! THE TIME HAS COME where I NEED to MEET NEW WOMEN!!!!!!!!

of coursh I have never ever really liked meeting new people. it is not fun. men or women.

some people, normies and chads, actually LIKE meeting new people and think its FUN.

i have no interest in meeting people unless its a young woman and they are qt and seem NICE.

how hard is it to be nice? not very, but many people seem to think so.

hearing about this guys GF who is like 19 years old and NOBODY likes her. she has “no personality”.

i thought, so what if she has “no personality,” That Woman didn’t have much of a personality, usually if a woman has a strong personality, that means she’s bitchy and obnoxious. no thank you. just have a not-strong personality and be nice. be pleasant. i’m thinking this young girl is both no personality AND not really nice or pleasant either. jeeeez. how unpleasant do you have to be as a 19 year old gurl to have nobody like you??!?!?!?! also I have heard she is not terribly good looking either.

meanwhile i found, once upon a time, a nice, qt, woman that everybody liked because she was NICE and had a GOOD personality.

with men its harder. you have to have an ACTUAL personality, and NOT Just Be Nice. i guess I cant be mad about that, thats just nature.

https://bu.reddit.com/r/relationships/comments/51tj9x/me_23_m_with_my_ex_girlfriend_22_f_for_about_2/

dramatic breakup story, he cant get over ex, who blocked him, but they had their problems, also she talked to him a lot more and prob would have been willing to give him some closure

spet 9

well i have learned from /r/relships/ that women indeed have some agency and are not to be regarded as total BABIES.

(every single attractive young woman on linkedin is a GOD DAMN RECRUITER.)

anyway, not to get off on a tangent, basically, the leftist scum of reddit insists that women are not powerless infants and indeed they DO have some responsibilities. well of COURSE they would think that tho! they like powerful independent wimmin!

but yeah you hear stories where women actually do stuff, put in an effort, or in some cases, stalk the guy, or get needy or clingy, texting the guy, getting jealous, getting heartbroken. i guess its nice to know that women are CAPABLE of this!

or just basically that they are willing to talk to you when they are dumping you and to say sorry and to be conscious that them dumping you is gonna hurt you and they are making some token effort to mitigate some of that hurt!

also the idea that the solution is pretty obvious (dump that b and run away!!!!) and the Bad Guy is pretty obvious.

i just hate being the Bad Guy because I couldnt understand Space.

but i dont think it was that simple either. i think any mature person would say SPACE ISNT AN EXCUSE TO AVOID DEALING WITH THE SITUATION. SPACE ISNT AN EXCUSE TO NEVER COMMUNICATE.

i think i already made that a post title. or something very close to it hahahaha.

so basically when a woman has secs quickly, she is saying “MY VALUES ARE COMPLETELY DIFFERENT THAN YOURS.”  so maybe its a stage. but why should the stage be like 10 years long or 15 years or whatever? thats a pretty long stage. too long for me.

ok applied for us army job. they have a big facility which employs a lot of people in the area with damn good 35k jobs like this one.

an open relationship will NEVER work if BOTH people dont agree about wanting it. period. it HAS to be completely mutual and UNANIMOUS.

of course at least 80% of Breakups are not unanimous, but they dont need to be. it would be nice if they were!

SHOW ME I MEANT ANYTHING TO YOU!!!!!

welp at 399 jobs now, should prob make the big 400th a good one. i think we decided not too long ago to make 500 the new goal.

i mean i have a hard time with jobs. bullshitting my way and figuring out what to do in tough confusing situations. figuring out how to do and handle my job. figuring out how to fix problems and what to say to frustrated customers who are counting on me to fix their problem…….and i really dont know what im doing. i feel incompetent because I AM incompetent and its inherently stressful to try to serve people when you ARE incompetent. because you ABSOLUTELY do not feel free to make mistakes or fail, because someone is basically gonna insult your intelligence.

in school it was ok to make mistakes, because only your grade suffered, and only a little bit, and you could always ask questions without being bitched at and treated like someone who should be fired.

how did that woman do it? oh yeah she just went with the flow. great advice, you horrible person hahahahahaha.

fookin captain obvious. fookin captain obviously easier said than done. jeeeeeez.

also reading /r/rels you see how FLAKY women are. they will just give up on you for the stupidest shittiest reasons and there is nothing you can do about it. because you have to respect their wishes that they dont care about you any more and dont want to do anything to work on things.

where do you go for nondegenerate dating advice? actually /r/rels is pretty good…..BUT they are degen on things like open rels, or being a SLUT. i guess I am just happy that they view Cheating as a Bad Thing. but yeah they dont view having a Super Promiscuous Slut Past as being a bad thing. when it totally is.

and i dont want to go to a christian thing, again. because I want YOU to understand why being a slut is wrong, not just because of muh good book or muh jeebus. which are all great things mind you, but it honestly seems………MORALLY LAZY!!!!!! to have muh jeebus be your answer to all moral questions.

but i dont like atheists. but do i like a devout blind faith type person better than an atheist? probably.

ideal would be a person like me: someone who wants to have faith but is just filled with tons of doubt.

and a woman who just thinks casual sex is GROSS or SLUTTY, and SLUTTY is BAD. I dont wanna be an icky gross SLUT. SLUTS ARE GROSS, she says. I would never want to be gross like that.

and she said that! she had an appropriate sense of DISGUST and DISDAIN 4 SLUTS!!!!

if i even have to mansplain it…….that stuffing a guys dick in your mouf and babymaker, who you dont even know this guy, you just met him a few days ago…if i have to mansplain why that is disgusting, then you are too far gone.

and 90% of women are too far gone hahahahahaha.

might have a little nyquil today, go for walk after, go to bed early.

called this auto service place for recall notice and actually got scheduled to get that fixed. so that was an accomplishment hahaha.

heh. you know how some people “break up” but theyre not really “borken up” because they are still hanging out, fooking, texting hahahaha. sometimes even the gurl initiates, decides she doesnt want to be totally done with the guy, and presents herself to be fooked. can’t say that happened to me hahahaha.

basically, if she had ANY desire to talk to me……..SHE WOULD HAVE.

WOMEN ARE ACTUALLY CAPABLE OF DOING THINGS, the reddit has taught me.

but its easy to think they aren’t, when you have a case where the woman does ABSOLUTELY NOTHING. you think, are ALL women like that? I HOPE not all women are like that!!!!!!!! but i dont know enough women to tell. so then its GOOD to read these stories and anecdotes.

AYOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO I have just gone from a floundering seal to a baby seal on SwC poker hahahahaha. this is a YUGE deal, its taken me like 2 years to get to this point.