CHAD HOEST

mar 25

had dream about woman i like in  2007 or 8. she was very attractive and young but was a fatherless bipolar mudshark. good riddance. well shes been with the same mud guy now for like 2 years, thats not typical of muds fooking white gurls. shit im surprised shes capable of being with 1 man without dumping him for 2 years. i dont want the desperate thirsty man who is willing to settle for poor damaged me for the long term, better dump him.

anyway shes not a terrible person and in the dream she was being nice and interested in me, smiling at me, hanging out with me one on one, even grabbing muh d under the table. i was like well this is nice, cant wait to get you home and fook you like an animal several times in one night. i was totally enchanted just by her hanging out with me, looking at me, smiling and laughing and being flirty towards me. its not rocket science.

then i lost track of her and could not find her and was like OH SHIT that was a SURE THING and now I am gonna LOSE MUH CHANCE.

but yeah even if she is a crazy mudshark shes not a terrible person and i would have totally dated her and probably fallen in full luv with her if she had any interest in me. she was interested in being friendly with me for a few weeks, so that was enough for me! unfort she had a LOT of male friends and was always making new friends. VERY social. bad news. i was nothing special.  and i am sure i remember her a lot more than she remembers me, like 9 fookin years later. oh well. at least she looks older now.  but still totally bangable. and she is way more successful than me hahaha. and fooks negros. falls in LUV with negros. i mean thats pretty damning.

i dont need to say she was a huge slut ever since the age of 20 at least. becuase she was hahahaha.

and to think. many guys got to live out my dream of her being interested in them, then they got to fook her, then they probably got “too” interested in her, then she said UGH why are all these thirsty guys always falling in LUV with me, im not that luvable, then gave them the cold shoulder, fooked tons more guys, and only fell in luv with darkies, and still became way more successful than me hahahaha.

but yeah she’s not a terrible person. i wish her father were better to her and she had turned out better and had dated me hahahaha. then i never would have met That Woman.

you can probably get more than one oneitis in your life……but its way harder when you are older than 30 and looking at older women. it happens most readily when you are young and the women are young. then it happens maybe 3, 5 times and you better marry one of those gurls. doesnt help if they have no interest in you whatsoever hahaha.

anyway it was interesting to get a dream where a qt young gurl was being flirty with me and it felt good man, like do ALL NORMIES REALLY experience this in real life?

i actually experienced it with 2 women in my own life! 12 and 13 years ago hehehe. so i KNOW its real and not a myth.

i claim that its NOT weird to get attached to a person after you FOOK them, or even youve been making out with them. these things are supposed to generate bonding chemicals of oxytocin. so Thots who casually suck and fook, cant make oxytocin any more, cant get attached to any man. well except maybe THE MOST alpha, who already has His Choice of women throwing themselves at him.

also dont be captain save a child if the childs mother is a Ho and you are involved with her hahahaha. some men play captain save a ho and the ho has a young child that the white knight man gets attached to and wants to save the child along with the mother.

its ok to save the child, just ignore the mother tho. send the mother to a handmaids tale like breeding camp where she can breed white babies but not fook them up.

kinda shitty to have hwyte kids if youre just gonna fook them up. its very frustrating. you might ALMOST not have the kids at all if youre just gonna set them up to fail. but no abortions of hwyte babies. send the hwyte babies to a hwyte person who can take care of them. to a captain save a ho type man. give him a child to save instead. and he can continue to bang hos and thots. away from the childs eyes of course.

laid down cuz felt tired, didnt really Nap though. watching “mutiny on the bounty” with marlin brando from like 1961 and the hwytes are RACE MIXING like crazy with the tahitian THOTS. the captain should be condemning this race mixing abomination.

anyway point is, if some 20 year old girl with a healthy body is throwing herself at you, you conveniently forget about race. i probably even would too. but yeah i dont want to watch a movie from the 60s and see RAMPANT race mixing!

yeah yeah i get it, they are SAILORS, fine. i just smh when i see hwyte men getting YELLOW FEVER. pretty PATHETIC.

besides, what they dont say enough is that these gurls are huge sluts who treat EVERY guy like this. you think she’s gonna be faithful to YOU? or are you a degenerate who doesnt care if your woman is faithful? or hwyte?

well these men have been working hard like slaves on the sea and they are just looking for a little tenderness and now they are finally getting it. doesnt make race mixing RIGHT but i cant say id do differently in their position. id probably K muh self after 2 days on the SHIP!!!!!

like this guy chip gaines and his Triracial wife on the hit show fixer upper. he seems like a good man but seriously very very very GOOFY which probably made it harder for him to get a hwyte woman. so he gets with this….lets just call her asian woman. i know she is ASIAN, ARAB, and something else, maybe mexican. she is in good shape, very healthy weight, and has nice hair, and i would bang her too if i were a desperate thristy slave on board a ship. or right now, after 12 years of thirst hahahahaha. 12 years a thirsty slave.

but rather than pump and dump her, he fell in LUV with her and millions of people including me are watching the show. now thank god their kids look a lot whiter than she does and could prob PASS for whyte. shit you know i think the third race in her IS whyte. white, asian, and arab. i looked it up once hahahaa.

so that makes the kids 67% white. hmmmm. not quite good enough. POOR KIDS!!!! SAD!

only in a thoroughly jooed world would it make sense to have SECS with a person and NOT get ATTACHED to them.  this is EXACTLY how the joos DESTROY OUR race, by destroying the FAMILY, destroying CHILDREN, destroying relships between men and women, by saying that secs is casual and doesnt NECESSITATE ATTACHMENT.

every time you have casual secs, the J rubs his hands.

every time you don’t condemn casual secs, you murder your own race. just throw it into the oven.

LOVE YOUR RACE.

MJ has been less disappointing to me than WOMEN. BY FAR. the women always leave and break muh heart. the MJ, i pretty much know what I’m getting, and it works as intended. i use it to fulfill a similar role as women: to get warm fuzzies, a sense of romance and transcendence and The Sublime and The Beautiful.

and it more or less WORKED! its honestly an effective reinforcement. like a dog getting a treat. pavlovs dogs drooling for their treat. the only thing that can come close to TRAINING and CONDITIONING me like that is a Special QT young Woman who I Like, and its WAY easier to find MJ than to find a woman like THAT. even right now. when MJ is very slim pickins. likable women are even slimmer hahahaha.

they say romance books and bullshit like 50 shades of gray are porn for women, which i can see the point, but it misses a HUGE point of what pornography is. namely, 50 shades of gray is not even 1% as filthy, degenerate, destructive as the hardcore vidya porn for men, where real women are destroyed, degraded and abused to the delight of the jooz, where pathetic men who will never get a woman beat off to it bitterly.

in 50 shades of gray, real women arent being destroyed gaping their assholes for black bulls on camera. there’s just some fantasy of being seduced by a powerful manly man. nothing new there. so theres some very LIGHT fetishism. i’m surprised its not MORE jooish. and when it gets more jooish – like the degen filth produced to emasculate MEN – then i’ll get worried. until its used as a weapon to destroy people, you cant call it “pornography.” you can call it retarded, low brow jooish (((entertainment))) though!

how WOULD you make something like pornography for women though? basically, women can ALWAYS reproduce. i guess the more destructive thing would be entertainment that blatantly promotes casual secs, polyamory, polyandry, and even still, its not like women Dildo Themselves to Sex and The City or Cuckold Porno. and even if they did, they would still reproduce. but they would be ruined children for sure. not that many of them aren’t.

but yeah honestly i don’t think you CAN make something as bad for women as bad as actual porn has been for men. something like “GIRLS” by digusting pig lena dunham is the closest thing, and that is over and done with. women liked that show for 2 years at most. then it went out of favor and lena went too far even for the joos and people are like yeah shes a little weird. GIRLS was bad and promotes the worst kind of women, but its still not nearly as bad as porno for men.

yeah the worst thing for women would be much complex things than “just porno”: stuff like ABORTION and FEMINISM basically and everything related to that. it all contributes to the idea of sexual liberation, culture of casual sex, disposability of human life, etc etc.

outlaw pornography and outlaw abortion. this would go a good way to changing the culture. outlaw no fault divorce. oh but muh freedoms, there should be no laws, no gummint. no this is not a libertarian website hahahahaha. we believe in law and order, for the protection of the fascist nation and our fascist hwyte race. laws to keep out da jooz. theyve been kicked out of 200 countries. i wonder why. because goys hate the poor jooz. the poor innocent victims that never did anything to get banned from 200 countries in 2000 years.

i guess tinder would be like porn for women to. give them a platform to HAVE casual sex and to make their OWN porno pictures and videos with the guys they casually fook like sluts.

but yeah life is a COMPETITION. FIERCE competition. for women, and for jobs.

heh. its funny though. it was easier for me to get into a Highly Selective University than it was to get an 11k a year job. WAYYYYYY easier.  I applied to like 3 universities and got accepted to them all. no i did not apply to harvard, yale, princeton, stanford, MIT, i just wasnt interested, and i prob WOULDNT have gotten in.

it was easier for me to get into a Highly Selective University at age 17 that it was to Win the Hearts of Sluts and Mudsharks.

so yeah i guess i wasnt prepared for HOW competitive the world really was. kinda wish i had just gotten rejected from that uni! i only went there because it was Highly Selective and a Really Good Name, so if i go here, i will be SET FOR LIFE, even if I do average work in a useless degree. WRONG.

anyway back from sat afternoon church, ate some dinner, took powerwalk, and gonna actually be under calorie goal for once.

anyway i guess that dream about that OTHER woman was good because it wasnt about THAT woman. but it still doesnt prove i could have feelings for a brand new unknown woman.

well, logically, if it were a young, nice, attractive woman,  i probably could. if she were about 7/10 and about 25 years old (or younger!) but as i get older, this age standard gets harder and harder to reach. also them being willing to spend time with you (one on one, not just in groups), and respond to you, and be nice to you, that can cause you to have feelings too.

so yeah i COULD. but to pull a woman that YOUNG when I am not YOUNG…that seems unlikely.

logged into my runescape game for the first time in 3 years. it looked totally different.  i then logged into “old school” which looked familiar but it had set me all the way back to the beginning. sad! i remember the game being kinda fun. now its making me type the stupid password in and wont even let me paste the long unique password i have for security. you have to type in the password every time. might as well save it as password123.

funny that the women you never forget have forgotten you like their fathers have forgotten about them. and the guys these women can’t forget have in turn forgotten about THEM.

well you know i bet their fathers havent FORGOTTEN about them. they are just too COWARD to do the right thing.

come on. was i really THAT forgettable? i dont think so. i know my male friends remembered me.

taake does a CURE cover. this sounds like a potentially good idea. havent listened yet. this is from the cure “pornography” album which is very very bleak and dark and which i imagine would be anti pornography. i guess i would have to look at the lyrics of the album to determine why they called it that.

just trying to psych myself up for his boring concert so i get my 22 dollars worth hahahahahahaha no it should be pretty good. also prepping his most recent 2 albums “stridens hus” and “noregs vaapen” which i have not listened to. in 2008 i was actually aware of taake and thought he was pretty good so i was excited about his New Self Titled Album in 2008. It turned out being very boring and underwhelming so then i stopped being so ecxcited about taake. the end. then 9 years later he came to my town and i said what the heck ill go see him. shit i cant believe i first heard taake more than 9 years ago. it doesnt seem that long ago. i certainly haven’t “been a fan” for 9 years hahahahaha.

seems like most fans agree: his 2008 s/t album was boring and uninspired, his next album noregs vaapen was a strong comeback, then his next album stridens hus was kinda lackluster again. well he never makes an album longer than 45 minutes, thats good.

this unartig usually has decent recordings of NYC shows on youtube. hear taake does a good live show. he looks like he’s into it and is not so grim he can’t interact with the fans. but not so silly he cant be grim either. i think his whole thing is to recreate classic 90s black metal. back when dissection and emperor and darkthrone and burzum and mayhem were the coolest bands ever. i am kind of this era too, not being THAT much younger than hoest, so hipster blackgaze young kids black metal still seems a little weird to me, as im sure it does to him.

i dont understand those shitty pants he is wearing though. literally the worlds most falling apart jeans. there was a photograph taken once of his D hanging out of his terribly shredded pants hahahahaha. i would just get a new pair of pants already buddy. but glad to see he hasnt gotten all fat and is still in good shape in his Late Thirties.

in 2015 he had a huge hipster beard hahahaha but in 2016 he cut it to normie length hahahaha. but seriously his long beard looked good. i cant grow a long beard like this because muh beard hairs grow in weird directions whereas his beard grows straight down and out so he can grow it long.

if you see pictures of him not looking made up or trashy or drunk but attempting to look semi presentable, he is handsome as fook and could easily pull a 20 year old 8/10 waifu. JELLY. CHAD HOEST.

mar 26

yeah actually pretty excited about this. one could do a lot worse than taake. i SHOULD be a bigger fan. i was big on metal in 1999 and 2002 when he was releasing his first big albums. i just dont recall reading about them! 2005 hordaland came out just as i was making out with a grill for the last time hahahaha but i was tuned out of metal at that time, and for a few more years after. then i came back sometime around 2008 because i remember when the taake album came out and everyone was disappointed.

but yeah. i wonder if he likes sacramentum. probably. taake should be my favorite band because they tap right into that sweet spot before black metal got young and weird, and old and boring. and never attempted to “innovate” in the embarrassing ways older bands like satyricon did. the younger bands did a LOT better job of that, shit i totally respect bands like alcest or wolves in the throne room (do they really count as younger though?) well, repsect their MUSIC I should say haha. also saor, winterfylleth, wodensthrone, 10’s UK black metal is bretty kewl, but nothing really weird about it: it is just straight up pagan heathen atmospheric BM with no funny stuff. you could say similar about taake. its bretty atmospheric, quite melodic.  the funniest he gets is occasional “black and roll” and using a banjo once which got way too much attention. well it doesnt help that he brings the banjo on tour with him to play during that one song.

yeah i am officially excited. i will relisten to the old taake albums because i have forgotten large portions of them. i will listen to the newer albums i missed entirely. i listened to the cure song today, it was ok but yeah the vocals were a miss hahahaha. would have been better off just impersonating robert smith, who has a good voice.

Image result for ørjan stedjeberg

but yeah this is what i mean, chad hoest. very handsome. a total 8.8/10 man hahahahaha. he could literally be a male model.

but it is degenerate to get an upside down cross tattoo. but i can totally understand why. he was probably drunk and 18. when i was drunk and 18 i just drew an upside down cross on my arm with a marker hahahaha. he goes and gets a permanent tattoo on his chest. SMDH.

when he is good, he is really, really, really good. he taps into the pure essence of black metal, which really covers a YUGE range of emotions. its not just “cold” or “grim” but it certainly includes those things. sorrow and beauty and nostalgia and epic and pride and and yearning and anger and hatred and angst and even romance and even some hwyte racial pride in there (but i dont expect any creators to acknowledge or even realize that last one. it still comes through implicitly. you cant escape becoming who you are, goy, hahahahahaha.)

and taake covers ALL these bases rather than just being hateful or just being depressive or just being grim, and keeps the music very dynamic, epic, interesting, hot-blooded, passionate, earnest, sincere.

except when it doesnt, then it’s just as boring as all other boring black metal.  but taake hits some very strong highs.

also hoest is a very powerful singer and has a recognizable voice.

he hangs out with some degenerates, so i hope he is less degenerate than them. i guarantee he is more degen than i would like him to be tho. he prob drinks too much, prob bangs too many dirty sluts, def has too many degen tattoos, has gone to jail, probably for drunkenly, stupidly fighting another drunk white man. (speculation). he sort of “apologized” as much as he could for the svastica incident in germany 2007.

he is an obvious narcissist who has HIMSELF on ALL of his album covers hahaha.  well a man needs to have CONFIDENCE in himself and not be a meek depressive self-loather!

would like to see video of him recording the albums. does he actually play the drums? on older abums I know he got a guest drummer.

what is his opinion on iron maiden? probably positive but what if its neutral?

does he have any illegitimate children? i could see him being a deadbeat father who leaves his bastard children with their metal/bar slut mothers so he can go on tour and bang more metal sluts. just speculation hahahaha. if he has children, i HOPE he takes care of the children. kinda hard to do when you are on tour months at a time though! which is why you should do like garth brooks and retire from touring when your kids are young. you can still play a few shows a year.

do like varg. release a string of classic albums when you are very young, then shift the focus from music to having 6 or more children.  music is a young man’s game. especially metal and black metal.

in other words, hoest should have retired from black metal in 2006 after hordaland, settled down with a NICE gurl and started having babies. how about he could get a job as a Music Teacher and still play music with a Norwegian Folk Group. but no more hateful drunken metal. he’s a family man nao.

but that didnt happen.

and we still would have had those classic first 3 albums, and he could have had 5 kids before he was 40. win win. instead he is making hit or miss albums and getting drunk at age 39. talk about despair. judge judge judge hahahahahahahaha. at least he is traveling the world and banging women and still makes 50% good albums hahahaha and has fans and is leaving some kind of legacy hahaha.

i bet he could just retire to bjoergvin and find a nice gurl even now. there are still good women left, even in the us, even in degen norway and sweden.

but would i let my virgin daughter marry hoest?

well, i would test the shit out of him first! no more tattoos, no more drinking, no more tours, no more sluts, from now on you are going to be a husband and father! i mean either that sounds good to you or it doesnt. to me it sounds great, except for providing for that family.

could he really be a music teacher? could he really make enough money to live off that in NORWAY, where they take 60% of your income in taxes and gas is 10 dollars a gallon and it costs 10000 dollars to rent a shoebox apartment?

would he want to be a music teacher? would he be a good music teacher? uhhh i think he’d enjoy it more than being a Call Center Agent or a Lidl/Tesco slave. maybe he has terrible people skills though.

well, you cant bang dozens of women and have terrible people skills.

how do i know he’s banged dozens of women? you can just tell.

men who bang dozens of women, even if they are horrible sluts, have what it takes to be successful in other areas of life. raw confidence and toughness and masculinity. he just has to be WILLING to give up the degenerate, sensualist life of booze and sluts.

i guess if you’re actually GETTING the sluts, it could be hard to give up. for me, even getting SLUTS was a huge struggle. for CHAD HOEST, I bet its as easy as a woman getting a chad.

i should clearly write a fanfic of chad hoests alternate life, then give it to him at the concert. then he will uh oh this guy is right, i better start making babies. i am 39 years old and a handsome hwyte man. what am i doing with my life. shit you can go to southern france like varg if norway has become too ridiculous. i dont doubt that it has. go to poland. go to hungary. go to romania. its all good. we’re all hwyte here.

russia and ukraine are great, i just worry that da J’s have too much power there. in poland possibly too.  guess its gotta be better than NORWAY. in terms of the current norwegian gummint.

lets make norway great again hahahaha.

hey i dont blame chad hoest for descending into sensualist degeneracy, look at what his HOME is BECOMING!

my home is becoming similar. and i descended into hateful nihilism of black metal and the hedonist sensualism of drugs and, in the past, alcohol and pr0n. never had the luxury of real live grills like chad tho. i hear that can be real hard to give up. i just cant put myself in chad’s shoes. and chad cant put himself in mine.

hey im no better. i just want to be lazy and do MJ all the time. muh brain and muh WILL is BROKEN.

i have bitterness towards women because they cant just injure, its always INSULT UPON INJURY with these demons hahahahaha. they cant just reject you and say sorry, they have to reject you and be huge mudshark sluts afterwards. you cant have me but all these other guys sure can. im a dirty degen slut, but im still too good for YOU, ya meek neet wimpy sissy loser child.

i guess they arent intentionally trying to “rub it in your face” when they do slutty shit after rejecting you and you just happen to hear about it because you are borderline stalking them hahahahahaha. then thats your fault. well shit. i argue they should be being sluts ANYWAY. no woman NEEDS to be a slut. fook that shit. its BAD, there is no use for it ever. makes schlomo say GOOD GOYIM. because it DESTROYS the goy race. not IMMEDIATELY, but in the long term. even 50 lousy years can do a hell of a lot of damage. that’s not too long term. that’s less than one lifetime.

can lead the horse to water but cant make them drink. this is one of the most important true cliches ever. very relevant for me and very relevant for others too. including that woman. its all about WILL. so do you blame yourself for FAILING TO INSPIRE WILL????!!?!???

did you really lead them to the right water?

why arent they drinking?

why arent you SELLING the water good enough? aren’t you SKILLED enough to SELL this water?

i would say dont blame yourself too much. sometimes there really is nothing you can do. GOD has to get in there and even HE might not be able to do anything. THE FREE WILL. what a horrible, horrible thing!

i had all the opportunities to succeed but i would rather sm0ke MJ, drnk alcohol, look at porn, and take it easy. coast.

i put myself all in for her and said take me or leave me and she left me as sure as you can leave a person.

KARMA hahahaha.

no im really not a bad guy i SWEAR. i never want to do anybody wrong. i just hated working hard when the payoff would come in longer than 4 years hahahaha.

I DIDNT REALIZE WHAT A BIG MISTAKE I WAS MAKING! I WAS YOUNG AND IMMATURE!

the problem was the mistake wasnt just one big mistake, it was many little mistakes over like 4 years, that were not super visible to me, or to anyone around me. shit if my fam was convinced i was making a Big Mistake, they would have done something about it. but NO ONE KNEW what a big mistake i was making. thats what especially sucks. no one knew, no one could stop me. and if i could go back in time, i would damn sure stop myself.

average of 8:53 hours of sleep a night. DAMN. well, there it is. cant argue with the numbers hahahaha.

just trying to figure out the best time to go to bed when i get up at 5 am. apparently 8 pm hehehehe. OR EARLIER. 7:15 pm, because i take about 45 minutes to fall asleep after i get into bed.

i dont even know what would have been good for me. military, i prob would have private pyled.

i think just go to local comm college while continuing to work muh job i had at age 17. gotten into a machine apprentice thing. but i prob wouldnt even have THOUGHT of that. it took me till at least 28 to determine that that was a good idea.

i would have still been like college sucks, working sucks, everything sucks, just get the easiest degree there is and prepare for a life of sucking hahahaha. get used to it. deal with it. but maybe i would have been physically prevented from doing as much MJ and alcohol. not sure though. i STILL managed to do a lot of MJ and alcohol when i was home with the fam. quite a damn bit, now that i think of it. DAMN.

well, i would have stayed at the job i had until i found something better. it was a very easy job and i wuldnt just quit it. basically i had to leave it because muh college got in the way too much. ironic.

also i never would have gotten laid and never would have made out or cuddled with grills hahahaha. well i prob would have made out with grills but may well have never stopped being a V at age 21 like i did. i mean shit if were a 30 year old VIRGIN my confidence would be even LOWER. at least i can say oh yeah i stopped being a VIRGIN at a SOMEWHAT normie age.

hehehe whats def NOT normie is how i never had secs or GF or makeout or cuddles SINCE then hahahaha.

anyway, it really is impossible to say. maybe i would have just gone to another kollige and things would have turned out just as bad. maybe i would have stayed at home and gone to local college and things would have turned out just as bad hahahaha. I was BORN to become a neet failure nevergf 11k a year loser.

ok ok ok these are all horribly negative thoughts and i shouldnt even be THINKING THEM, let alone writing them down for all eternity as part of “MUH LIFE STORY” hahahaha.

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https://www.fool.com/investing/2016/12/04/top-marijuana-stocks-to-buy-in-2017.aspx

i would not recommend putting all your money into MJ stocks, youd be better buying BTC hahahaha.

i would say if you get crabby like that, just lay donw and take a NAP if you can. if its a weekend and you dnt have to WORK or STUDY WORK hahaha. i did that, got at least 30 minutes, factored that into my Big Data. by number is inching closer and closer to 9 hours a night!

if i get 1 minute less than 9 hours of sleep every night, i get SO CRABBY i CANNOT FUNCTION hahahahaha.

i am like john cusack in high fidelity. thinking of all these women in the past, oh maybe she was the one, maybe she was the one, i should try to reconnect from this grill from 15 years ago, etc etc. not that ive actually done this. but it has crossed my mind. like lets give it another chance. and they are probably not gonna do the Reaching Out here. but im 40 and still single, what have i got to lose by Reaching Out to these people 10, 20 years later. i wasnt the one who ended this. i would have stayed with you and let it run its course if you didnt Prematurely Dump Me!

did he DUMP any of the women in that movie?

in real life, men actually DO dump women. hard to believe but its true.  i’ve never done it and dont really WANT to hahahaha.

and what an ANNOYING JOO cusack was in that annoying jooish movie!!!!!!! that is not how proud hwyte men act! this is not a man who is worthy of any woman! never act anything like that! its amazing he had been with like 5 women in his life! and not 0! he should have been a virgin!

stupid fookin jooish movie. cant believe i watched it like 3 times. this is why you stop being a big music fan when you become an adult. music is not a serious time consuming interest of successful, respectable adults. its like smokin MJ. its immature, arrested development.

why do you think people who smoke MJ listen to so much MUSIC hahahaha.

oh god i just want to sm0ke MJ.

GLR did not become joo wise until age 32 hahaha. i was 30 at the oldest. more like 28 hehehehe.

some people say you should get rid of all drunk driving laws and should only prosecute people for drunk driving if there is an accident and somebody gets hurt and the person at fault is drunk.

but no just pulling people over and giving them a misdemeanor 10k DUI for having 8% BAC.  no waiting to nab people coming out of bars. no dui checkpoints.

INTERESTING.

ok 730 planning to go to bed around 8. its science. did absolutely nothing productive this weekend. took naps, played cards, wrote whining shit. well i did do 2 loads of laundry, trimmed beard, took powerwalk on saturday i think. got concert ticket for furst concert in almost 2 years. worked on Budget. worked on Sleep Spreadsheet. wrote a ton of stuff, 25% of it good. created another spreadsheet showing the current sizes of all types of clothes i wear. measurements, sizes. dress shirts, pants, suits, chest, neck, legs, waist, arms, shoes, coats, shorts, undershorts, sweatpants, anything and everything as of mar 26 2017.

prepared a bunch of sound files. podcasts and taake albums.

crunched some serious analytics. gathered some good data and crunched some good numbers.

was just disappointing on muh job search, which i dont even want to really DO shit till like july, and also on muh powerwalking. yeah i should have gone to the gym but oh well. also gained almost 2 pounds hehehehe.

 

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JUST SAY THE WORD HUHWHYTE

mar 19

wazzzup world hahahahaha

sunday morning today as well, just drinking coffee and farting and reading new blog post and watching rare history channel program on WW2.

  1. actual historical content on the HISTORY channel is so rare. you are lucky to see one program a week.
  2. naturally its very by the book shit of hitler and germany being monsters who need to be wiped off the face of the earth by the valiant allies.

not denying the bravery and courage and toughness of the allied soldiers. just that we were jooed into the war. jooed by literal joos and cowards into fighting against our german brothers. never should have happened.

did hitler really want to violently conquer all of france? i have to wonder if this is just another one of those joo lies. the idea of lebensraum did not mean he wanted to conquer all of europe by force. or did he. am i being to nice to AH.

yeah well it probably would have been a good thing if he had. introduced race conscious NS to all of europe. i do bet he would have allowed European Ethnic IDentity to be encouraged, like yeah you’re still FRENCH and youre still DANISH and youre still POLISH and youre still ENGLISH. i guarantee he wouldnt have tried to make everybody “german.” prob would have been flexible in allowing each nation to develop whatever kind of fascism worked best for its people. he wasnt trying to make some kind of pan european euromutts. and violently subjugate other europeans.

i mean shit he was allies with italians and spaniards and croatians, you think he would have genocided POLES? he just wanted 10% of some polish land that was pretty inhabited by germans anyway. i think they could have worked something out. or were poles actually the assholes who started ww2. yeah wel if they were i still blame the joos who were lousy in poland just like they were in russia. where did these people COME FROM. khazaria of courshe hahahaha. which was closer to poland and russia than to germany for example.

was winston churchill an ALCOHOLIC???? AH sure wasnt hahahaha. also FDR was a marxist j00 who was so crippled that his even more communist jooish lesbian WIFE was essentially president for 8 years.

i will single handedly change the current course of history and stop our hwyte women from being stupid racemixing sluts!!!!! and make them GOOD again! i will rise to that challenge and CHANGE THE WORLD!!!!!

this is the Talk Of A Champion that you are supposed to replace negative thoughts with, hehehehe.

take negative thoughts and say NO!!! NO!!! YOU SHALL NOT PASS!!!! to them, and REPLACE them with POSITIVE thoughts of how you will WIN like a CHAMPION. HAIL VICTORY!!!!!!!

welp maybe i wont single handedly change the course of history, but i can certainly change one person. even if that one person is “only” myself. shit that would make all the difference in the world.

dont waste time trying to BE a womans father figure. THATS HER FATHERS JOB. and if her father didnt do HIS job, dont sacrifice yourself to clean up HIS mess. even if the gurl is not a huge whore hahaha. she will just find other ways to break your heart and be a huge disappointment.

better to not throw time and energy into a bad investment, and find a good investment, and find a woman you can have your own children with, and YOU can be a good father.

terrible few days for bitcoin, bad week for bitcoin, really a bad MONTH for btcoin hahaha. i mean its gone down 200 dollars just in the past 4 days or so. terrible.

ok. took huge dump, trimmed beard for weekly sunday #2 length beard. i guess #1 length would be The Don Johnson hahahahaha.

http://bbs.dailystormer.com/t/no-fault-divorce-wife-leaves-husband-for-some-black-guy-media-praises-him-for-being-the-perfect-cuckold/92868

guy is a great father to his son but is a terrible cuck who lays down for his bitch ex who left him for a black guy.

if he’s such a great guy, YOU SHOULDNT HAVE LEFT HIM, MUDSHARK SWINE. she left him because he was WEAK and SOFT AND because she didnt have a father to slap some sense into her saying, whats WRONG with you? this guy is perfect and a great husband and father! DONT LEAVE HIM!!! EVER!!!! ya dumb broad!!!!

Sad!

although its not the paxil/prozac/AD’s that do it, i take AD’s and I fully woke and Luv My RACE.

theres this meme that AD’s make you a sociopath, AD’s make you a cuck, i want to rebut that. I still have sympathy for other people and though i am kinda a cuck, i would NEVER do what this guy is doing, i would SHAME my shameful x for being a shameful MUDSHARK. Mudsharks REALLY trigger the FOOK out of me. that woman hahahaha. i cant believe she was technically a MUDSHARK. that should be enough to turn me OFF of her, but it just made shit MORE painful, harder to deal with, longer to get over. this is what happens when girls dont have fathers. Sad!

http://bbs.dailystormer.com/t/i-have-a-chance-to-influence-a-young-mudshark/92888

this guy describes a young mudshark from a decent family, good father, but is STILL an unrepentant mudshark. will be watching this thread for replies. maybe some will accuse him of being a joo planting a bullshit story thats too good to be true, NO decent hwyte gurl with a good father would EVER be a mudshark, ALL mudsharks are disgusting fat slobs. but i know this is not true. this is the real tragedy of mudsharkery, is watching a young girl BECOME a mudshark, to first cross over that line from good to ruined. Sad!

my theory is the father is a successful but swpl liberal middle class guy who is so nonracist that he doesnt care if his daughter fooks blacks, esp if they are not super thuggish. light skinned blacks who go to college and have no felonies.

i just cant understand whites who WOULDNT care about their DAUGHTER dating nonwhites. thats where the rubber meets the road. thats where people who don’t think they are racist discover that they are indeed a little bit racist.  and they dont mind it, beucase they’re not gonna cave on their daughter fooking nonwhites.

the SAD thing is, many hwytes WOULD cave on this, and would STILL be totally nonracist here. im so nonracists i REALLY DONT CARE about my daughter fooking nonwhites, and as proof, she’s already fooked 4 by age 22 and brought them home and they were all gud bois who dindu nuffin!

if the idea of your DAUGHTER fooking nonwhites doesnt make your SKIN CRAWL……i just dont know what to say to you.

i dont know about women. i WISH the idea of race mixing made THEIR skin crawl too…..but it just doesnt/ manage expectations. welp, turns out some MEN are just as cucked.  many MEN just dont care about race mixing either. sad! disgusting! unmanly!

again, i dont EXPECT women to know better. MEN, i DO.

so thats probably whats going on here, and shows you dont have to be white trash to be a mudshark slut.

really. honestly. i guess i’ll never understand these nonracists. you mean you JUST DONT CARE. have you NEVER got your heart broken by a woman and then that woman went on to fook blacks and browns and you didnt feel just a little bit angered by that? you REALLY dont care if your GF has been with nonwhites before you or after you? No they really dont. i guess i really cant reach these people. and i sure as fook can’t understand them.  WOW. JUST WOW. You really DONT care, do you. your gf has fooked blacks and you dont care. your daughter is fooking blacks and you dont care. WOW. you really dont care. well i guess you showed me! just how nonracist you are! feels good doesnt it!

i guess there are two types of peopel in the world, racist and nonracist, and never the twain shall meet. i am pretty happy being a racist. i mean i would rather be a racist than a nonracist!!!!!

and the dead giveaway is, do you CARE about your daughter, or your GF, fooking nonwhites. or yourself for that matter. do you really have NO PREFERENCE when it comes to the race of who you date.

some people SAY they have no preference but NEVER ACTUALLY date nonwhites. thats probably ok hahaha.

some people SAY they have no preference and MAINLY date whites….but occasionally date a nonwhite. not good. NOT EVEN ONCE. then what? did you learn something? did you develop a preference? i should hope so.

heh. i hope you never fall in LUV with someone who breaks your HEART AND does some mudsharking which ALSO breaks your heart too.

but the good thing is that it reduced my tolerance for race mixing degeneracy to absolutely zero.

i’m not even sure its inherently JOOISH, although it’s obvious why the joos exploit it. but it IS inherently degenerate in the most basic way. it’s just fooked up. entirely.

you dont have to be explicitly racist! just never fook a black! god damn! is that SO HARD??!?!?!?!??!!

you could even SAY you dont have any dating preferences! just don’t date a black! is that SO HARD?!?!?!?!?!?!

apparently, hahahahahahahaha.

i  have met maybe 2 black women that were attractive enough to bang, and i’m glad i didn’t hahahaha.

i’ve met many khazar jooesses who were attractive enough to bang. well, when i was young i did. but i didnt bang them. i probably would have if i had any idea how to talk to women. but i didnt. but i’m glad i only race mixed with jooesses only a TINY bit and not a LOT. better to be CELIBATE than to race mix.

https://heathenharvest.org/2016/01/02/outcast-by-choice-an-interview-with-mikko-aspa/

have not read this one yet hahahaha

http://archive.is/6Bmu7

not bad!

but he has to know nicole 12 is degenerate. his past “pornographic” work is degenerate. i think he’s stepped away from this, has done less of them as time goes on, and more of Positive stuff like Vapaudenristi, but i still want him to SAY IT, say that yes i am making a moral judgment here, molesting children is wrong and degenerate, there’s a gray area where girls start to become women and start to become attractive that is probably younger than the legal age of consent, but we should still not “sexualize” them, and in general all pornography is degenerate, and race is real, and nationalism is good. this is what i want him to say rather than mental masturbation about “anti-anthropocentrism” hahahaha. just keep going in the direction of Ethno nationalism, and in saying mean things about k1kes hahaha.

i mean there’s NO DEBATE to be had on nicole 12 buddy. it’s not about studying a conditioned reaction like a “drooling dog.” i dunno. i think he should have just wrote a book about it because i just dont understand what he was trying to say with it. that everything is conditioned? that you can be conditioned into thinking pre-pubescent children are SECSY???? it just seems kinda JOOISH to try to say there’s nuances where there are none. yeah i KNOW he’s coming from the whole power electronics aesthetic, which has the same issues of jooish degeneracy.

i dunno. i guess i just want him to be something he’s probably not, and im gonna be disappointed with him in a few years hahaha. or maybe not! i mean over the past 4 or 5 years, he’s been doing more of the good things and less of the bad things!

like he needs to go into more specific detail about this “dynamic nationalism” and how he does NOT want a return to the past. how dynamic are we talking here? does race matter or not? i know he appreciates honesty but he talks too much like a damn………jooish academic artist???? thats just mean of me to say hahahaha.

no i think he’s just smart and autistic and this is the way he talks, he doesnt MEAN to sound jooish. he’ll be allright if he keeps hanging out with racist skinheads talking real talk hahahaha. also if he met a decent woman and had some children. i dont think he MEANS to sound so confusing, he’s not doing that on PURPOSE like the joos do.

he’ll probably be all right. i just dont want him to slip back into degeneracy and then make some jooish excuse about it when i KNOW he’s smarter than that! i dont want him to pull some FEDORA shit.

at any rate, he’s not really alt right and prob wont ever be as much as i would like him to be.

but would he let his daughter race mix? would he say NONE OF MY BUSINESS if muh gf race mixed before? hehehe i really dont think he would. i hope he wouldnt.

also i like some of the anti-individualist stuff he says in the interview. that these individualists are even more Conformist than normie Sheeple. basically suggesting that Individualism is Atomizing. Well….inasmuch as you can “understand” ANYTHING this guys says. I think he’s on the level, but this is why I want to TALK to him and get straight answers to straight questions. Would you let your daughter race mix? does race mean anything to you? do you care if Finns are wiped off the face of the earth? what do you think about Da JQ? Tell me what you really think about Da J’s. It’s ok m8, I dont like them either. I hope you dont like them hahahaha. what the FOOK kind of “discussion” do you think could POSSIBLY be had about nicole 12? its ok to say you have matured since that and maybe wouldnt do that again and maybe weren’t making the best statement with. molesting 12 year old girls is ALWAYS wrong and only a JOO would try to equivocate on that and it’s ok to say that. only a joo would WANT to have a discussion about the nuances behind wanting to Abuse Children.

which is totally not the same as saying, hmm that 17 year old gurl looks fairly attractive, and I would sign up to marry her when she turns 18.

just set up an email list for news on vapaudenristi and make english trans of the lyrics available so we know what you are talking about.

but if you listen to the albums of an RAC band like No Remorse and DONT say, OMG, these deplorable reprehensible nazi racist bigots! and instead say, hay I LIKE this, then you are kinda making a statement right there, aren’t you. Like how I realized that you can’t be a VVN Sympathizer without actually being a full-blown VVN and just not realizing it yet.

anyway me talking about That Man is even less interesting than me talking about Women or That Woman hahahahaha. if you want to have straightforward conversations about 1433, then there are a couple places you can go. like daily stormer. who i fully support. as of march 2017 hahahahaha. if andre turns out to be a joo i will cry mantears of grief and then move on somehow hahahaha. i really dont think he is though. also dont think he would marry a jooess.

however i wonder if k1ke enoch has divorced his joowife yet hahahaha. i aint mad at him. the shit is complicated. its still not good to have a joowife tho. but he is entitled to having a personal life. but none of us should be race mixing. he’s smart enough to know this is a problem. also its naive to do big things and say “im not a leader”. you have become KIND of a leader whether you like it or not, when you do big leaderlike things……and openly ask for dnations. i dunno. i think he learned something from all this. if anything i am more butthurt about sven banning people wantonly from the forums for weak reasons. and i still really like the hihg svenergy vidyas.  and there are still plenty of people on DS that crap on TRS for being j00 luvers. i still like em both, but i just had to take a break from TRS for a few weeks. to allow myself to not be so emotional about it.

NO ONE IS SAYING ITS OKAY TO HAVE A JOOWIFE. some of us just arent willing to believe it makes TRS traitors and shills and spies and plants and feds and mossad and controlled opposition and JFK MKII ULTRA hahahaha. it was just a guy in joo york and joo jersey who married a half-jooess before he was j00 pilled. it can happen. its not the end of the world unless they have joo children. AND THEY DONT!!!!!!!

basically how hard is it for mikko to just talk about HWYTES. just say the word. hwytes. europeans. its ok. its not a bad word. you can do it. say it. luv it. be it. huhwhyte. its a beautiful thing, its ok to FOOKING LUV being huhwhyte.

shit ive been saying it 14330000000000000 times a day for years.  no need to never say it once in years!!!!!!!!!! now THATS a little weird!

good luck finding a woman who says she prefers to date hwytes. just be lucky to find one who’s never “dated” a nonwhite YET. keeping the race pure is YOUR job. either the woman feels some kind of racial preference deep down inside or she doesnt, which will make your job of protecting the race and finding a woman who hasnt dated a nonwhite yet a little bit easier, if she’s not actively inviting them in like the sluts at the castle anthrax with a purpa drank shaped beacon.

HAIL VICTORY! THIS TIME THE WORLD! 14 WORDS!

but yeah. i just think its weird that not more hwytes are as anti-race mixing as i am. they just DONT CARE. or, worse, they say it’s AOK! no problem! i wouldnt care if i had mixed race kids!

that just seems weird and disturbing and unnatural to me. why WOULDNT you care? i want to find a woman who, on some unconscious level at least, CARES about this! and hang out with other men who explicitly care about this! become part of a mannerbund!

GLR prohibited drunkenness at ANP meetings. I think hahahaha.

andrew zimmern is pretty jooey but i also think he’s a good guy and i wouldn’t be against not deporting him hahahaha. but what is he teaching his kids at home? is his wife a joo? ideally she would be a latinx or something. why should we sacrifice a hwyte woman to make zimmern less jooish.

what about natives. injuns. there are rural communities where many of the hwytes are 10% injun. man i dunno hahahahaha. i figure if you are 13% or less nonwhite, then welcome to club hwyte. the hwyte race.  thats basically one fully nonwhite great grandparent at max.

it would be ironic if some nonwhite young woman was really really really really nice to me, and fell in luv with me, and wanted to be LOYAL to me and have muh babies. i mean that’s nothing to sneeze at when a woman gives you that loyalty. but i want that from a HWYTE woman, not a nonwhyte woman. go give that to a man of your own race. so what if they are shitty. the women of MY race are shitty. but i’d rather have no woman than a good woman of another race.

because i might be tempted! I have NO doubt that there ARE good women of other races. and being in that situation would probably be TEMPTING. oh ive been so lonely for so long, how can  REJECT this WONDERFUL woman who LUVS me just because she is not hwyte? come on. best not to BE in that situation to begin with.

GLR’s “HWYTE POWER” might be the better book for the beginner to GLR to read. i am kinda getting bored with TTTW hehehehe 65% of the way through.

https://archive.org/details/WhitePower_189

READ IT. BELIEVE IT. LIVE IT.

from the first page, we can see that stuff in the US is HEAVILY jooed as far back as 1965.

ever since i was a young child, one of muh favorite movies was “the blues brothers”, which i have seen more times than i can remember. at first i was happy because it was one of the few R rated movies i was allowed to watch and had a few filthy f-bombs. overall it’s still a well written and constructed movie, stands the test of time, although does seem a little dated, but in a good way, shows the skills of john landis, who i’m not sure is J or hwyte, and of the players, not least of all the genuine comedy skills of albanian belushi and canadian ackroyd. also i believe john belushi was moreso a hwyte albanian than a turkish mud albanian. his brother jim looks basically hwyte while john was a bit more swarthy.

belushi was a drug doing degen like chris farley, but like farley, he was genuinely funny.

and yeah MY POINT and I DO have one, is I can look back now with new eyes and see the jooification of even this Quaint Old Movie. The blues brothers were antiracist from the beginning, hanging out with tons of blacks and IDOLIZING black musicians.

MY POINT is this was one of my first exposures to NEO NATZEEZ, with the Illinois Nazis in the movie with….John Daniels? John Glover? the Laugh In Guy, as their leader. Even from a young age I was impressed by the impressive speech he made: “white men, white men, the svastica is calling YOU. the Joo is using the Black as muscle against YOU. so what are you gonna do about it, whitey? just sit there and take it? no! you will join us, the national socialist hwyte people’s party.” which i recently learned was actually the original name of GLR’s ANP. and i am sure the character was based heavily on GLR hehehehe.

i didn’t understand why there was SUCH an angry crowd against the nazis. was what he was saying so bad? why did the blues brothers HATE the illinois nazis? then we see that the fuhrer’s second hand man has been secretly in gay luv with him. there is also a scene where we see him blatantly smoking a corncob pipe, which has got to be a reference to GLR.

also look at the country rednecks in the country bar and the way they and Country Bob and the Good Old Boys are portrayed as Uncool Rednecks.

It’s all still pretty funny and I can never CONDEMN the movie, and I will never not want to watch it while cuddling with a Nice Hwyte Hwaifu…..but I will be sure to HWYTESPLAIN the parts of the movie is not so nice to hwytes.

plus i generally like the black music too: blues, old time rock and roll, etc. the band is SOLID. and you can’t crap on a classic performer like ray charles. well other than to say he was probably a horrible person who was a heron addict and beat his wife and cheated on his wife and was prob a horrible father hahahaha. some good songs tho! and that makes it all ok!

so yeah, still a good movie, but it has a lot of questionable stuff in there that you dont notice when you are young.

no i dont think seeing it 60000000 times since a young age really HARMED me. it still give me good feels of nostalgia of being A Young Child. I just want the Notsees to be portrayed more sympathetically hahahahaha. more stuff about blacks and joos bad nooz hahahahaha.

mar 20

it is easy to survive the low stress workday thank god, but i hate not being a TOUGH as a WOMAN, to handle a stressful job 60 hours a week. im surpirsed MORE peopel dont abuse drugs and alcohol. well because they would probably LOSE THEIR JOBS if they did. you cant just half ass your job, because then you lose your job.

but i was so tired upon coming home i immediately laid down, watched law and order, and took a bit of a powernap. maybe it was because i took a benedryl last nite.

normal people cant take a powernap after their job. they have to drink gallons of coffee and 10 monster energy dranks to get thru their busy 10 hours a day, then come home and crash but you cant sleep because your mind is reeling from the busy day but you need to sleep but cant so you have to take some kind of drugs to slow you down. either sleeping pills or alcohol is a very popular choice hahaha. MJ would not hurt either haha.

and i went to bed at a decent hour and drank a lot of coffee while i was there!

i do a decent job and act pretty normie while i am there. but i hate that at the end of the day, i am still not as TOUGH as a 22 year old GURL. very emasculating. its GOOD to feel TOUGH. its BAD to feel WEAK and SOFT.

i was thinking of “erotic fiction” which is kinda pornographic but not AS degenerate because you arent using and destroying actual live gurls in order to produce it. other than maybe perverting the mind of the person writing (and of course reading) it.  but its not a machine that destroys heaps of young women. so yes i think it is less degen than actual porno. still not ok though. MIGHT be useful to wean off a porno addict. thats a big maybe though.

anyway i dont really care. im not tempted to look at porno. i AM tempted to do MJ all the time. just think about it all the time like a gurl thinking of her loverboi and the day he can get out of prison and they can finally be togther again.

damn have this god damn ice cream and ate too much of it. thankfully this is not a regular thing. it is caramel ice cream which i really like. ate too much of it. is this “emotional eating” because i was feeling weak and soft and pvssy and weak? eating too much ice cream certainly doesnt HELP those things! thankfully i dont often buy or eat ice cream. so its not like im gonna eat the whole container in 1 day then run out and buy another. fook no.

my good idea for the day was to get a thick black marker and draw a huge Hakenkreuz on your chest like the tat sported by weev or american history x. do this before you bang a broad. that way she can see the beliefs of the man who is drilling her, and it is bound to have an effect on them, subconsciously at the very least. looking down at the man pounding you and see the symbol of the ebil natzees. wow. maybe it would make the woman less likely to be a race traitor in the future. i cant see any downside to it. JUST DO IT. i would seriously luv to do this myself. chip away at her idea of herself as a nonracist. well if you were such a nonracist, then you wouldnt be loving getting fooked hard by a natzee with a svastica on his chest staring right at you!

well, i guess this could backfire and she could say, welp now i HAVE to run out and fook a negro ASAP to prove im not a natzee.

then she would have done that at some point ANYWAY, you’re just speeding up the inevitable and can NEXT her quicker and save more of your valuable time for a woman who is worth your time.

fooking DO this. draw a svastica on your chest with a black marker and bang the woman. make sure she is facing you hahahahahahaha.

tom brady goes to bed at 8:30 pm because he is serious about his sleep. not that i idolize a feetsball sportsball negroball j00ball player, but he seems like a healthy goy. so what time does he get up in the morning? dont know. probably about 5 am.  that is when i get up. alarm rings at 5 am, i sip coffee till 5:30 and watch the news, see how negros shot each other, get the weather and traffic. the time passes very quickly. at 530 i get out of bed, continue drinking coffee, take a shower, get ready.

yeah you should start with GLR’s hwyte power book. it is written in a very weaponized style, to shake you up, from the very first page, for the next…30 pages or so. it has not stopped shaking me on every page and i am on page 23 now. just comes out with all guns blazing. describes the problem explicitly: disgusting degeneracy. describes the SPIRITUAL SYPHILIS which afflicts hwyte youth and how religion wont work on them. he hasn’t talked so much about the JQ yet, but I am 1433000000000% sure he will soon.

it is easy to imagine him reading this in the form of a powerful passionate speech. you could go around reading passages to people like speeches.

https://archive.org/details/WhitePower_189

READ THIS LIFE CHANGING BOOK NOW, IT WILL TURN YOU INTO A WINNER.

i have never read something written in the 1960s that reads like it was written TODAY. RIGHT NOW.

HAIL GLR! HAIL VICTORY!!!!!

hehehe. that feel that if someone asks you who would you want to meet of anyone who lived in history and you can’t even tell them. you can’t say AH. you can’t say GLR. people don’t know who GLR is but you can’t explain who he was without making you look like a psycho for wanting to meet him. i guess you could LIE and say He was a Political Activist in the 1960s. He was anti-Communist like Joe McCarthy!

why the hell would you want to meet joe mccarthy?

lemme google this rockwell guy- american NATZEE PARTY??!?!?!?!?!?!?! he’s as bad as HITLER! he has a SVASTICA on his arm!!!!!!!!!

believe me. i took AP US history in high school and they never mentioned rockwell. i never heard of him until a few years ago.

yeah they mentioned mccarthy. but by that time i think i was getting tired of skool. i recall AP history involved a ton of reading and i barely remembered any of that stuff.

i was getting sick of school and homework and reading stuff that wasnt important to me; i was starting to get interested in MJ and alcohol; i didn’t realize the importance of history like this.

shit i took AP european history and obviously SHOULD have enjoyed it, reading an in depth history of hwyte people. I started out enjoying it but a few months into it, i was like this is too much reading. i dont remember any of this stuff. what does all this matter.  didnt understand how the history of the joos mattered, the turks and ottomans and muslims, common law and all that. shit i still dont hahahaha. it was a lot to bite off and hard for a 15 year old to put into perspective. maybe if you explained to me, these joos are the reason gurls today are such stupid sluts hahahaha. and then traced THAT back to communism. and kinda worked backwards from the present, stuff that mattered to me at the time. which admittedly most of it was stupid and degenerate.

nonetheless the average kid in my high school did JUST FINE in life, so i was/am just an OUTLIER. a BAD SEED. I would have been a WEIRD CASE ANYWHERE I went to school. but i feel that in the “right kind” of “radical” high school i might have done better. like homeschool, or artsy fartsy high school, or STEM high school, or Manufactuing Machining Shop High School. really, any one of them would have been a GAMBLE.

would I have been less Angry and Nihilistic if I had been successful with Gurls from a young age? yeah probably hahahaha tbh. but MOST boys ARENT successful with gurls when they are 16, and they have to watch all the gurls their being sluts with older scumbag guys.

i bet i would have liked reading GLR at age 16 just for the SHEER EDGINESS of reading a NAZI. i know I was interested in the evil natzis, hitler, the evil svastica, because i was interested in The Bad Guys. Anything Evil or bad. serial killers. varg vikernes killing guys and burning churches.

pretty ironic that varg turned out to be a really GOOD guy who I would be sticking with 20 years later, an similar thing with AH and the natzees – they weren’t REALLY the bad guys. so even though I’ve outgrown my edginess and interest in Bad Guys, I’m more interested in these Good Guys than ever before.

I probably would have found mein kampf to not be a fun read, but I bet I would have liked GLR. I have even worse ADD now and his writing is very to the point and not a problem for people with the attention span of a fly. like me.

a book like “hwyte power” could have HELPED me at age 16, but I didnt really read ANYTHING back then. i did all my reading for school, i did ENOUGH stupid READING.  i never developed a LOVE OF READING like ALL Smart and Successful people do. Sad!

READ THIS BOOK RIGHT NOW. BUY IT and read it over and over again. give it to all young men you know. buy cases of it and go to the nearest middle school and give it to all the white boys. maybe even the hwyte girls too.

mar 21

hwyte power. this shit is real. saw something on local tv news of an ALT RIGHT WHITE SUPREMACIST NEO NAZI flyer at a place, the police are trying to figure out who put these EVIL NAZI FLYERS up. the photo was very nonthreatening. it just talked about how white population percentage has gone way down and gave links to two very awesome websites and contained the words alt right.

but the way the media reports on it, they are clearly trying to frame it so that the FIRST THING ANYBODY THINKS OF when they hear the words alt right is “EVIL NATZEE.” alt right? whats that mean? oh. even racist natzis who want to oven jooz and lynch blacks and genocide nonwhites.

well are they wrong? hahahaha.

yes because we dont advocate violence or genocide. like GLR we are willing to pay BILLIONS of dollars to Send These People Back. wouldnt you pay TRILLIONS of dollars in taxes for a Nice Hwyte Country? Transport the people back to africa, asia, middle easy, and give them each fookin 100k USD to make a new life with. why the hell not.

i hope the police are not looking very hard for these ebil natzees. as GLR said, the local police are not our enemy. they probably sympathize with us. i should be trying to JOIN this local alt right group. but they would prob say nope youre too big of a loser to join us, we WILL take your money though.

YOURE NOT GOOD ENOUGH FOR US, BUT WE WILL TAKE YOUR MONEY hahahahaha.

the real problem is me wanting to give money to a group that wouldnt have me as a member. the real problem is me not being good enough to join the groups  want to be a member of!

i mean i have come to the acceptance that i am not high quality enough to represent The Movement, but I want to SUPPORT and HELP the movement, possib by giving money. yeah i guess it does suck to think, well, YOU are not good enough, but your damn MONEY is. thank me for my money and give me a roman salute at least hahahahaha. LET ME STUFF ENVELOPES AT LEAST hahahahahaha.

well we dont stuff envelopes any more. thats VVN 1.0. there will be no flat earth renegade radio flyers hahaha.

yeah small business cards leading to daily stormer or TRS, that’s fine.

i mean thats basically a hate crime goy. let’s try to find the hateful natzees who left these tiny cards with a website on them. literally.

maybe i will be ARRESTED if i wear muh DAILY STORMER t shirt in public hahahaha. what a THOUGHT CRIMINAL!!!!!!

NEW WEEV VIDYA

its a big deal when he posts a 10 minute video from his toilet hahaha.  did he really have to call out richard spencer as a trust fund baby in the description. i’ll allow it as long as it doesnt turn into a high investment thing, but i think spencer is tougher than weev thinks he is. weev is prob tougher than spencer is though. well, nothing probably about it. he almost certainly is.

weev also had a good recent interiew with cantwell

i know i watched it and linked it but should watch it and link it again

weev should do vidyas every DAY

and yes you should send him dnations I DO hahahahahahahahah

and yes he certainly does NEED them more than spencer

went to bed early yesterday but took like 90 minutes to fall asleep instead of usual 45 hehehe.

i guess weev has a GF nao. well good for him, im sure she’s hwyte. i just didnt think i would see him settle down with a woman bc he is an alpha male and has hsi choice of women. well maybe he has made his choice now! obviously he SHOULD choose a wife and start having children. shit a man of his stature needs SEVERAL wives producing children SIMULTANEOUS so that he can eventually have 100, 1000 children.

create a new human life ERRY DAY!!!!

i would prob be okay with dating a single mom where her kid was weev’s baby hahahahaha.

so hypothetically let’s say weev responded to one of my semi-bantzy comments with possibly some own bantz of his own, and then i bantzed him back saying, yeah im already donating to you hahahahahaha. well WEEV I am only giving you like 20 dollars a year, maybe  WEEV is saying he is too good for my money. or he’s calling me a joo for giving him an OFFENSIVELY SMALL donation. that would be hilarious if weev bitched about that just like fatherland jim did when i gave him a TEENY WEENY donation.

although i would prefer weev’s approval because I respect and admire him , hahahaha.

but yeah not much we can do if the people we want NOT to reject us, reject us. wouldnt be the first time, wont be the last time. it sucks though. but its not like weev can BAN me from watching his videos and listening to his stuff. he can make me feel like an idiot for donating to him, since NOBODY is Cucky enough to Donate to the hand that Bites Who Feeds It!!!!

so i would just donate more to the daily stormer until something happened where they complained about me donating, hahaha.

oh well.at least i am putting myself out there, making moves, learning things. well, at least doing things. saying, i least i tried with so and so, and then they rejected me, the end.

im still scared to go back and see how people responded to my daily stormer post. still scared to see how george responded to my questions in his q&a vidyas. i have new evidence that he is a 1433 bad goy and i couldnt be happier. this is a great way to be, but i wont blow his cover. ideally i would like him to Come Out, but that’s his right to do that when he wants.

i just dont want people i admire to scorn and reject me hahaha. i want to be part of their club. but im not cool enough. im not tough enough. im not hardcore enough. i dont give enough money. im not interesting enough. i dont work hard enough etc etc etc always SOMETHING. FOOK it. FOOK it. no good deed goes unpunished.

i dont care, everyone i like can reject me, its not gonna kill me. i can always find another pro white thing to donate to. hey i can always give money to stormfront hahahaha. or vnn. or counter currents hahahaha. dr greg is nice enough to write me a THANK YOU NOTE for a tiny donation! HA!

bbbbut these are all old men in version 1.0 who are lonely and bitter and dont have wives or children because they were born too early! they were born during the dark ages when you were Too Weird To Mate if you advocated for hwytes.

Well I too lost my YOUTH to the joos. now all i can do is secretly donate tiny amounts of money to people who dont want it hahahahaha. and sm0ke weeeeeeed secretly. never be tough enough for a 28k a year job, or hwyte wife or children. damn. so what the hell do i look forward to? the fact that my RACE, with miniscule and unwatned help from ME, is finally turning the tide. that the sleeping goy finally woke up.

i am jumping to conclusions, nobody has said stop donating to me, weev hasn’t rejected me, he was just having ONE playful BANTZ, this is what men do many times a day. i wouldnt last a DAY in australia!!!! and probably they do this in russia and ukraine too, where weev is now. call each other cyka blyat all day. its a TERM OF ENDEARMENT!

i always forget this. i cant handle the bantz with real MEN!

i guess i can, it just takes longer and i have less tolerance for it hahaha.

i guess the MMPI is the most scientific personality test. it has 560 questions and measures 50 diff things, none of them good.

ok. chill out. take it easy. just say NO to negative thoughts. NO. STAHPPPP.  I will conquer negative thoughts and turn them OFF. I will be aware and Mindfull of the current year. I am watching “double indemnity” on tcm and  i hear this is a good movie, i should pay attention to it. i am playing .02/.04 poker when i usu like to play .01/.02.  i am charging mp3 player and have a new episode of fatherland on it which just came out today.

double indemnity. insurance scam. were insurance companies as jooish scams in 1938 as they are now? the idea is that they minimize risk for people so that entrepreneurs can take risks, start businesses, create jobs, make money, GDP Growth. not sure it happens this way. not sure gdp growth is an always good thing. who cares if you create jobs if they are part time walmart type jobs? or the jobs are so stressful you cant even handle them and snap like private pyle going postal? how does that improve your quality of life? because you’re not homeless on the streets sucking dick for a place to sleep indoors, or clean clothes, or a meal.

billy wilder was a joo, i do know that much, and “some like it hot” was pretty degen and jooish. and the stars of double indemnity are bad immoral and jooish, trying to get away with murder. but supposedly a classic movie. it seems pretty watchable. better with a waifu to cuddle of course hahahaha.

 

TO HAVE A CHANCE AT BECOMING A WAGE SLAVE YOU HAVE TO BECOME A DEBT SLAVE FIRST

mar 11

if at first you dont succeed, try, try, try, try, try, and try again. this is GREAT life advice we’ve all heard, and i would fully endorse it.

the big problem with it is, you are NOT suppose to use it on WOMEN. once they reject you ONCE, you DONT EVER want to try again, because that makes you the BAD GUY in ever way. bad, weak, evil, horrible, like a child molester or a raepist. because then youre not respecting her wishes.

i wish the people who say if at first you dont succeed, try and try again, made it more clear that this advice should NEVER be used with women. even though its good advice in all other areas of life.

yeah this is common sense…….to fookin normie nonnevergfs who have never not been with a woman for longer than casual secs hahahaha.

also it was hard for muh fam to educate me on women, because even though women have always been the same at heart…..the women my generation and young are much, much worse than the women from, for example, the older baby boomers.  in terms of the things theyve DONE, the things they have on their conscience, if they had a conscience. in short, theyve taken many more cox, murdered more babies, broken more hearts, done 60000000 times more harm. earned the wages of sin. whereas before, the women were at least restrained from DOING this stuff. and that matters. when you DO evil and sin it changes you for the worse, makes you a worse person. heh. even jesus christ was TEMPTED to sin and do evil. but he said NO GET THEE BEHIND ME SATAN!!!!!!!!

so yeah unfort it was especially hard for the older generation to educate the younger generation on how to get women, because there was SUCH a drastic generational change in women.

the best would be homeschooling with an older brother or cousin who was 5 to 10 years older than you. or just a professional/life male mentor/role model who is 5 to 10 years older than you. every man should have this but most dont. Sad!

basically, someone from your same generation but a little bit older and wiser. younger than your parents. i suppose if your parents are younger then they might be able to understand your generation better because they are closer to it. and i endorse parents having children young. man and women get married at 18 and have their first child at 18. second child at 20, third child 22, 4th child 24, and the father has been making 28k a year since age 16, and by age 24 is prob making at least 40k a year. ideal world larping shit here hahahaha.

i guess in a nondegenerate nice hwyte country, you wouldnt even NEED homeschooling and could go back to more public schooling. though it should never get too far away from homeschooling. homeschool coops would be your “public schools”. parents would EXTREMELY VET all their childrens friends and especially their daughters suitors.

fathers could get involved with homeschooling too because half of homeschooling would be essentially bring your kids to work day and train the kids on your craft. so that they are poised to make 28k a year at age fooking 14 if they wanted.

and ideally the father would have eventually risen by this time to start his own business so that he is not somebody else’s slave and can hire who he wants, like his children, who he also makes damn sure are competent workers.

sure you could teach the daughters some of the work too, why not. esp if they have any interest in it. but mothers would be teaching about womens SACRED DUTY as the GUARDIANS of the race, of LIFE ITSELF, and educate women to have a LOT more RESPECT for that SACRED RESPONSIBILITY.

what a wonderful world it would be!

well i guess men would be the guardians but women would be…the mothers. you need them. without women and mothers your race dies.

“and thats a problem because………why?”

hehehe many young hwytes making 50k a year would seriously ask you that question.

“Whites have been on top for too long. They’ve taken MORE than their fair share. time for payback. KARMA. karmas a bitch sometimes, and whites have brought it all on themselves. time to step aside and give others a fair chance. thats why we need moar immigrants.”

im not makign this stuff up folks. i WISH it were just a cognitive distortion on my part.

GLR estimated that about 80% of (adult) J’s were traitors. and that traitors needed to be gassed. for treason hehehehe. this meant he beleived that 20% of j’s were GOOD JOOZ. when you put it THAT way…..that 20% sounds a little HIGH no? hahahahaha. i would put it more like 10% max hahahaha.

https://archive.org/stream/ThisTimeTheWorld/ThisTimeTheWorld_djvu.txt

READ IT. BUY IT hahahaha. search it on google shopping to get a better price than amazon.

after you casually bang bitches, give them this book and say read this if you ever want a good pounding from me ever again. you do know how to read dont you? you read 50 shades of gray. now read something that matters. and maybe i’ll pound you again when i have time. and dont steal the book from me like a joo. and ill dump you very soon because you are not an honorable woman. a better man, like GLR, wouldnt even have banged your sloppy slutty pvssy even once. (he admits to not liking Easy Sluts when he was in the military, which gave him a reputation as an “oddball.”)

heh. his father was essentially a COMEDIAN. did not expect this. went from ridiculously starving artist to making good money in the depression just by making people laugh. i cant even imagine a type of stand up comedy or vaudeville that isnt extremely jooed, but i guess it existed once.

oosh needed this one:

i mean this is the risk you take with all in. thats why they call it gambling. he could have easily beat me with AA. or getting a J. but there i had an equal chance of getting a K as he did a J. of course if he had QQ he would have beat me.

GLR: ” The documents include the Overman Report to the U.S. Senate, 1919, Senate Document 88, which shows that of the 388 members of the first Soviet Government, sitting in the Old Smolny Institute in Petrograd, 371 were Js and 265 of these Js were from the lower East Side of New York City!  ”

oh im sure this overman report has been discredited as an antisemitic hoax even worse than the protocols of the elders of zion hahahahaha.

petrograd = st petersberg

stalingrad = leningrad = volgograd = yuge russian victory against germans in ww2, hence yuge motherland calls statue. VERY VERY VERY impressive statue, but not sure this was such a good thing for russians. or germans. or the world. war should have never been fought. US should have never entered war. so uhhh what then. is it polands fault for not surrendering immediately to germany? i really like poland tho.  but prob not more than i luv the hwyte race and not more than my dislike of the antiwhiteness of da jooz.

https://archive.org/stream/TheInternationalJew/InternationalJew_djvu.txt

also read this one by the one and only henry ford.

http://archive.is/LNVTM

archive of the archive hahahaha

unfort GLR’s parents were divorced by the time he was 6. in the mid 1920s.

https://archive.org/stream/ThisTimeTheWorld/ThisTimeTheWorld_djvu.txt

see chapter 3 hahahaha

http://archive.is/lYvw8

i was also the first person to archive this on archive.is YOUR WELCOME hahahahah

back in the day you did not have to incur a ton of high interest debt to Qualify yourself for a Job as a NURSE.

something JOOEY is going on here.

now you are a 21 year old woman with 100k in debt and you can get a job that pays pretty well, maybe 40k a year. but still. note i am thinking of a BSN degree. not an LPN or god forbid CNA. which at least half of applicants are not smart enough to get into super competitive harvard like BSN programs.

all so you can work 60 hours a week watching people die, watching hospitals joo dying people over, have dying people complain to you that you are an evil joo, seeing 900000000 lb negros, dying chldren, all your colleagues are Opioid popping sluts cheating on their husbands and maybe you are too. never trust a nurse hahahaha. some of them are good tho.

GLR’s book sort of reminds me of bernard chapin. i think they are similar personalities. therefore, maybe i could use GLR to convince uncle bern to become JQ pilled hehehehe. slip him the GLR book and tell him its actually….theodore dalrymple or something hahahahaha. im sure bern knows who GLR is, but is probably unwilling to read any nazi stuff because “nazis were total leftists. they have the word socialist right in the title!!!!”

a lot of greatest generation type goys that are otherwise great hwytes, are really turned off by AH and the hakenkreuz, because they fought in WW2 and learned to hate the ebil natzis. what a cohencidence. but the kids these days dont even know what ww2 or the natzis even ARE, which i think is good for giving them a blank slate for us to work with. they dont know anything about the h0l0 hoax either!

cuz i was thinking about a guy like rockwell today. its really hard to get away with wearing a sv4stica and calling yourself a natzi. i mean anglin kinda does it, but he also does not go out in public like rockwell, and i would like if he did.

i think a better public face for the movement right now would be a guy like sven. handsome, charming, healthy, husband and father, funny, personable, sociable, normie chad dad. flying both a confederate flag and a US flag. comes across as a totally well adjusted normie that people will like and listen to. great optics hahahaha. which is why im so happy hes making hihg svenergy vidyas a regular thing now. maybe have his children make a cameo appearance. might be a good gamble to get more normie women involved. (not nonnormie crazy women.)

also be very curious to see how MW develops because now i think he has a GF and he is losing weight and dressing better and all these things can have an enormously positive effect on a mans confidence. especially having a loyal GF. i’d imagine, hahaha. never had one hahaha.

this is all speculation, i dont know he actually has a GF, but i am seeing some subtle hints that MIGHT suggest it.

i mean i hope he does, he totally deserves it! you shouldn’t HAVE to be as awesome as MW, or Sven, or varg v, just to get a damn decent gf! you should be in the top….50%, not the top 1% of awesomeness!

anyway. before you could just become a wage slave to da jooz. now you have to become a DEBT slave before you even earn the privilege of being a wage slave!!!!!!

”  But I never tried to kiss her, although she made remarks which I am now sure were dainty scoldings for my miserable cowardice in such matters.

This super- Victorian attitude with women followed me a long time in life and I may have missed a great many  ‘good things’ by ordinary standards. But after seeing more of human ‘love’ and what happened to many of the
brassy successes with women, I suspect that the sweet, storybook memories I keep of such idyllic, if not  physically satisfying, love are far more pleasant in the long run than the pleasures of the more sophisticated. I don’t believe I can deny that my failure to ‘go farther’ with girls earlier in life was largely due to plain cowardice where girls were concerned. But I also think most people today lose the savor of love and sex through over- sophistication and impatience. It is impossible to enjoy a fine wine by gulping it all down at once and even a connoisseur cannot appreciate his dainty sips the first time he tries wine. ”

chap 3, GLR describes his first luv and how he was a beeta niceguy who was too afraid to make a move, but ultimately he was glad he was not a MUH DIKK, FILTHY-MINDED DEGENERATE.

https://archive.org/details/THESTORYOFPHILOSOPHY1TheLivesAndOpinionswillDurant1926

will durant’s story of philosophy was influential to the 18 year old GLR. I have heard of this guy but never read. here’s the full text hahahaha.

ok getting ready to go to boring church.

in chapter 4 he describes being a waiter at 19 where he had his first Practice Gurl, a waitress of 24 at his restaurant, so he lost the vcard and had some fun with her, at an age when that is so important for a boys confidence, with a gurl who is a little older, but in the grand scheme of things, still young as hell. this is pretty much perfect. wish i knew some 24 or 25 year old women when i was 19! i sure didnt hahahaha.

that’s probably the ideal way to do it, even for special snowflakes like me. unless you have a high school sweetheart AND she likes you back AND then you fook like rabbits AND she doesnt dump you immediately.

in the 1930s even slutty unmarried 24 year old skanks wouldnt dump you after several fooks. have the decency to let you fook them until you get comfortable fooking them.

so they SEEM “older” because you are SO young at 19…..but they are still young and hawt at 25.  and i think they like “schooling” the virile young boy. its a win win.  so good for GLR. i wish I knew some 25 year old sluts when i was 19.

also its good to get experience as a restaurant server at that age. but not to make a career out of it. and you will also prob meet a 25 year old slut working in a restaurant. therefore, I prescribe that all boys do one year of restaurant service when they are 18 or 19 if they are still a V and havent got married to their high school sweetheart, or have any ineptness with women.  of course, n my ideal world, they’ll already be making good money at a semi skilled trade such that working in a restaurant would be a step DOWN for them. so i’d make sure that 1. they dont MARRY the restaurant slut practice gurl they’re banging 2. they can come right back to their old job after a year, or 9 months. basically, the whole point of the restaurant is to give them Confidence and Social Skills in dealing with WOMEN, and in dealing with bitchy customers. and maybe in resisting the temptation of degeneracy and cash in your pocket.

GLR became suitably confident that he was able to pull funny pranks on bitchy customers, rather than run home crying every night. this is a great measure of your confidence. rather than being all nervous about bitchy customers, can you get enjoyment on doing little pranks on them? nothing TOO degenerate of course, like a nonwhite might do, but the innocent pranks like GLR describes: making everything sticky with syrup, serving up a bowl of butter disguised as ice cream to a fat bitchy woman, etc.

he was also a great example of someone who was very smart, but didnt apply himself in school and got mediocre grades in high school. that didnt stop him from applying to harvard tho. they “lost his application”. he later applied to brown and got in as an “experiment” because he had shitty grades, but he had a very high Standardized Test score, like SAT/ACT, and that alone was good enough to get him into Brown. not as good as harvard, but better than 95% of unis hahahaha.

ter·ma·gant     ˈtərməɡənt/  noun   1.  a harsh-tempered or overbearing woman.    2. historical       an imaginary deity of violent and turbulent character, often appearing in morality plays.

heh looking up words as i read.

when he “experimented with women” his first year at brown, what does that mean? that he fooked 50 sluts? probably more like he made out with 5 women. which still makes him a yuge normie chad by neet virgin standards hahaha. then he met his wife second year of brown. pretty ideal age to meet your wife.

might have to read his other book, hwyte power, which is less of an autobiog, and more of larping on the ideal world and how to fix this one.

he talks about his first wife who he met at that time, and she sounds like a real ballbusting bitch, constantly hot and cold, bipolar, showing him luv one minute, and then being cold the next minute, driving him crazy. total drama queen and bipolar. now he was man enough to “tame” her temporary and get some children out of her, but by god that had to be EXHAUSTING. he should have just NEXTED her and found a woman that wasnt gonna play so many GAMES with him. they were married for 10 years and had some kids. but i am surprised they lasted 10 years. probably because he was manly as fook, being a manly ass navy pilot and war hero.

yet HE didnt come to hate hitler and the germans!

yeah i take back what i said about kids forgetting about nazis and the holocaust and the svastica. yeah they might not know a god damn thing about ww2, but you know who has made DAMN sure that they never forget that hitler/nazis/svastica = pure evil, the most evil people evil, who wanted to genocide 60000000000000000000 joos in camps, innocent children, and that basically all white people are evil natzis and all nonwhites are like innocent jooish children being crammed into ovens by evil hwyte natzis. its an even worse thing than slavery that hwytes worldwife have to be eternally sorry for. especially germans. so yeah im not sure we could ever “reclaim” the svastica, and i think indeed GLR was starting to move away from it, realizing he had maybe miscalculated that risk.

i mean shit i get suspicious whenever i see some “hwyte power” person in front of a svastica flag. they look like hwyte trash with tattoos and women with face piercings and shit. prob on opioids hahahaha.

i will allow weev with his sweet tattoo hahaha. or people using svasticas with pepes or something. but i just dont see it being a vital part of VVN 2.0 and 3.0. maybe later it can be reclaimed tho.

see although he didnt like dirty military fookin sluts that didnt stop him from seducing a classy rich dame while his wife to be was all up and down on him. see, he was a real man and didnt have his balls in a cage by her. he should have just stuck with the rich georgia gurl elsie even if she was spoiled. hmm ok looks like he did ask her to marry him. then she called it off. then it was on again. ok she seems as ridiculous as the other woman. he should have nexted them both. found a damn woman that wasnt bipolar. i mean honestly. are even good women THIS bipolar?

but he had other more important stuff going on in his interesting life, like becoming a pilot. and these women still have the audacity to string him along and dump him. come on. like you can do better than a handsome, smart, charming navy pilot!!!!!!

how about a charmless, timid, awkward, old semi neet making 11k a year? hahahaha.

heh. well he admits to still being a naive beta when he married his wife, and too ignorant and cowardly to exert natural masculine dominance which would have saved the marriage. even though he had a practice gurl when he was 19 and had like 3 or 4 other gfs before marrying her and had been flying planes. if he wasnt masculine enough, no one would be. i think GLR was just selling himself short, and also maybe she was just crazy, and maybe he had a thing for crazy broads.

heh. if i had a practice gurl when i was 19 i would have learned how to deal with womens bullshit so when a decent woman gave me bullshit, i would handle it like a man and keep the woman loyal to me, to give me children, and i would have lived happily ever after with That Woman as the mother of my children! except i didnt know how to handle a Good Woman because I havent been with enough Mediocre Women! heh even the mediocre women would dump me quickly. and i was no decorated navy pilot or ivy league grad!

really it seemed the problem was his wife was brainwashed by her own mother who encouraged her to be a career woman and not be tied down by babies.

http://greenstarcan.com/green-star-cannabis-budventory/

hehehe here is a Cannabis place in spokane WA. i have heard that eastern WA is a pretty nice place for hwytes. just a very hwyte place, free of the marxist jooish POZ that is in the western part of the state like seattle. so, how bad is spokane? it is a pretty big city.

so WA has retail shops where you can just walk in and buy, like CO. i think OR is like this too. i can only imagine being a 21 year old degen in these states. staggering around washington state university going to the p0t shops hahahaha.  banging 20 year old hwyte gurls while blazed on legal weeeeed. well its not good that hwyte gurls are sluts, ever. but god DAMN am i ever tempted by the idea of legal weeeeed.

http://www.mjspotshoppullman.com/wp/?age-verified=fe419dbd0e

but is this really the type of country we want? is this the deal with the devil im willing to make for my own degen hedonism?? the equivalent of jerking off muh dick to muh porn????

well like ive said, MJ is not inherently perverted like porn.

anyway. who cares.

you think COMMANDER ROCKWELL would approve of MJ? fooooook NO, he’d rightfully call it jooish communist poison!!!!! im sure he eventually will say something to that extent in his book im reading!

yeah well i wouldnt go around boasting about it to commander rockwell hahahaha. he wouldnt understand muh needs in that area hahaha.  i mean yeah it is a bad habit and not something you should be proud of or advertise. but you should be able to legally do it. becuase it gives you a sense of Happiness, however fleeting hahahaha. and its not like you stop being pro-hwyte. i would gladly get blazed and continue to do pro-hwyte things hahahahaha, not become a traitorous race mixer hahaha.

well plenty of pathetic st0ners are race traitors haahaha. and have no healthy natural revulsion to miscegenation, no proper sense of racial hygiene!

 

THE PERFIDIOUS MVRDERERS OF CHR1ST

feb 4

not super productive today, just listening to winterfylleth and drinking bulletproof coffee hehehe. but i did kinda sort figure out how to GPG/PGP encrypt and decrypt messages, so that is good.  you basically need a gpg program like gpg win to do all the work.

i was confused because i was like, well, if people share their public key, cant you just take the encrypted message and decrypt it? with the public key? this was a major misunderstanding on my part. PUBLIC KEYS CANNOT DECRYPT SHIT. they can ENcrypt your message TO that public key. but theoretically the owner of the public key has to input his secret password to then decrypt the message. now i guess if the feds got THAT password, yeah youre fooked.

i just hope the shit isnt stored in The Cloud somewhere. but what if your computer dies, and you get a new computer, and want to prove that you own this public key. because each public key is paired with a private key that i think resides on your computer, and you need the password to get at. so im saying, what if your computer dies? where is that private key stored?

https://gpgtools.tenderapp.com/kb/gpg-keychain-faq/backup-or-transfer-your-keys

other people have thought of this situation and you can backup your keys like so. well this is for the mac program.

well me thinking of this situation means i am not a total idiot, and that i grasp the concept ok. because it seems that storing the private shit out In The Cloud would be a yuge security weakness. i mean YOU need to have ultimate control over YOUR key- not google, not gmail, not yahoo, not microsoft. otherwise we would just trust google to encrypt our emails. then the feds could just subpeona google and be like decrypt these. same as if they subpeonaed them and said give us ufmll’s emails hahahaha.

big technical knowledge. this is why i make the big bucks of 13 grand a year hahahaha.

great new podcast. yeah i linked their 2nd episode too hahaha. its all good.

on this episode azzmador and ken have on matthew heimbach and emily youcis. great guests! terrific!

https://www.marijuana-anonymous.org/

hehe i need to go to meetings. even though i havent done MJ in 5 months.

https://www.marijuana-anonymous.org/forum/viewtopic.php?f=7&t=1456

they have a forum thankfully….but it is not super active

https://www.marijuana-anonymous.org/forum/viewtopic.php?f=6&t=1244

Touching Story of a man who is counting the days “sober” and is really struggling. hope he doesnt fall off the wagon. he hasnt quite described what made him actually WANT to quit. me, i wouldnt want to quit. shit. i havent used in 5 months and i still think about using it every day!!!!! i just cant GET any, which is not this guys problem, as where he lives, there are retail stores where you can just walk in and buy MJ. probably WA or CO. is it like this in oregon? as of october 2016, yes hehehe

but nice and heartwarming to see this supportive community who genuinely want to help each other out.

super bowl. more like j00per bowl. gayper bowl. the ultimate in prolefeed and goyfeed manufactured by the scheming schlomo. no thanks schlomo. get the fook out.

yesterday took a valium and 2 benedryl. i expected to fall asleep into a 12-14 hour coma but had a pretty normal 8-9 hour sleep. and i am the type of person who NEEDS 9 hours of sleep every night. but sometimes i like the idea of sleeping for 12 to 14 hours. recreational sleep hahahaha. and when i get the time to do it and cant do its kinda annoying hahahaha. like wanting MJ but not being able to get it.

but i just remembered that i could try to claim “nausea” as my qualifying condition, if i didnt think i could fake “chronic pain” which is by far the most common reason for medical MJ. because its a bunch of hwyte working class people that break their bodies with construction jobs and have legit broken backs, so half of em get into opiates and half of em get medical MJ. cuz of their very physical JOBS which have RUINED their bodies permanently and given them permanent, chronic, severe PAIN.

i would rather do MJ than try to bang sluts.

was also semi tempted to looked at porn but i did not and im pretty sure i wont, i mean i dont want to throw a year down the toilet haha. i guess i just wanted to be Aroused and to find a women secsually attractive and to get as close as i could to having Recreational Secs. I always wanted to enjoy secs just like all the other people out there banging like rabbits, so i was kinda jelly of that. and porn was the closest substitute i had. look at this vulgar, disgusting jooish perversion of secs and jerk off to THAT. thats the closest youre going to get to secs.

bipolar sluts is a step up from that. shit full blown HOOKERS are a step up from that. even goddam STRIP CLUBS. and I HATE strip clubs. and i am thankful i came to view porn with the same UTTER REVULSION that i view strip clubs. because really, porn is WORSE. its pretty much the WORST THING EVER. it is total JOOISH CANCER.

but today i was thinking of excuses. like what if i were to look at young gurls in bathing suits. or amateur stuff. that’s not made by jooish pornographers, its home made by normie people!

this stuff is almost as bad, it shows how normies have gotten POISONED BY PORN, that they think porn is so fun, that they want to MAKE IT THEMSELVES. they enjoy consuming it so much, they want to MAKE it. it turns normie people into PORNOGRAPHERS. and we can all agree its even worse to be a producer than a mere consumer. being a consumer is bad enough.

anyway i dont want to look at okcupid for women to date/casual secs hehehehe. i will just end up comparing them to that woman. well maybe not. but i will eventually SEE that woman on okcupid because i can totally see myself looking at every woman on okcupid in a 50 mile radius, and i know she’s on there. well, she was like a year ago.

shit i dont even know if shes alive. maybe she became a heroin addict and died of an OD hahahahaha. no its not funny. she hated hard drugs but what if she was pushed to it?

how is using a vpn different than using TOR? which is “safer?”

http://security.stackexchange.com/questions/72679/differences-between-using-tor-browser-and-vpn

read and understand.

ok i still dont understand. explain like im 5 hahahaha. now i have to be the vpn vs tor SME and explain to a paying customer why our vpn company cant fix their broken vpn, thats not a bug thats a feature.

https://www.deepdotweb.com/jolly-rogers-security-guide-for-beginners/combining-tor-with-a-vpn/

https://thetinhat.com/tutorials/darknets/tor-vpn.html

some def easier to read explanations

oh its terrible how you can rationalize it to yourself. like, watching some Independent Camwhore doing Solo Dildoing is way less degenerate than watching some clearly joo produced filth like facial abuse or max hardcore. and you know, maybe it IS. but its still a god damn slippery slope.

oh heres a good one

2017-02-04-20_40_23-spearmint-0-01_0-02-no-limit-holdem-replay-14518362

bad beat for the AA guy hahahaha. havent had one of these in a while. hence the proud screenshot hahaha.

well is it ok to jerk off to pictures of like college girls on spring break in their bathing suits bending over or something.

again its less degen than porn per SE BUTTTTTTTTTTT

what about jerking off to purty gurls on facebook hahahahaha thats definitely not porn!!!! theyre real life people!

yeah well you shouldnt do that EITHER, you should go out there and talk to those gurls in real life and try to date them. jerking off to their pictures just makes a sad fantasy and makes you super weak and beta and terrible and weak. like when i was getting feels for that woman and spent too much time just looking at her pictures and being like awwwwwwww i wish she could be muh gf.

DONT DO IT. only do real life shit. i should have deleted facebook at THAT time.

feb 5

gayper jooper bowl today. 630 pm. want to be productive today. do some prep work for the week. have a task where im like i uhhh really dont know what im doing here. so i will make some flailing efforts at it and show i am really willing, if not quite ABLE, to work on it. 2 other small tasks that I am much more able to do. want to do all that today. its like being in School and you save all your homework for Sunday because you are too cool and h8 skool too much to do homework on friday or saturday like all the tryhard kids that want to go to grad skool hahahahaha. i would mock them then, but im jelly of them now hahahaha. they knew the deal.

watching gayper bowl just for the horrendous commercials. i am seeing a bunch of emo, sensitive pvssy, multicultural bullshit. stuff that appears to The New Upper Class rather than the White Working Class who youd think are more likely to enjoy Murkan Football. unmasculine, unamerican commercials. the MURKAN NATIONAL ANTHEM replaced by foreign language sing the words in their foreign language in a “TOGETHER IS BEAUTIFUL” coca cola commercial. this is not a new commerical, but its still HORRIBLE and downright disrespectful. kinda like the horrible national anthem performance by the Wimmin of “Hamilton.” i thought this was FOOTBALL. FOOTBALL used to be masculine, working class, and at least somewhat huhwhyte. I understand plenty of blacks enjoy football. fine. and that the majority of football players are black thugs. fine. i’m talking about as a whole. football used to be a whiter-seeming sport than, for example, basketball.

does the New Upper Class even WATCH football? they might watch the super bowl. for the commercials. I am reading the charles murray book “coming apart” and half the book is about the “new upper class” which is basically modern SWPL yuppies. professional SWPL shitlibs with graduate degrees from good schools who make 100k+ a year and drive volvos and shit. decent book and i respect charles murray, but a younger, better hwyte author needs to write the next book in this series. because yes race and esp hwyteness does matter, and also this culture of the New Upper Class is steadily trickling down to the Upper Middle Class and the Middle Class. people that didnt go to elite universities but still have masters degrees, make 80 grand a year, and like SWPL shitlib bullshit.  it’s not just the top 1%, or the top 5%, it’s probably the top 20 or 25%.  they might not be AS rich and powerful as the New Upper Class…..but they definitely emulate them and their SWPL values.

murray implies the New Upper Class covers the whole political spectrum. while also saying that it skews liberal. well, i think it does a hell of a lot more than just SKEW left, it’s 90% or more left. it heavily heavily skews left. also I think the right-leaning tiny minority will also show some slight cultural similarities with the hwyte working class.

anyway i like murray because he talks about race and iq and education and class and status and middle class and upper class and working class, and culture, and intellectuals, vs anti intellectual proles, and elite skools and careers vs nonelite skools and careers, and east coast vs flyover middle america. smart guy but he could stand to be a bit more controversial imho!

yes i also own “the bell curve” hehehehe.

my colleague requested a photo of muh self they could use on a company webpage and a short bio. i already had a bio ready to go of course, but no good photos. i do not even have a damn smart phone or digital camera. i had to set up muh laptop computer on a series of boxes so the webcam was at about head level and then do that with an online webcam app that produced a photo of not-great resolution. not a high-resolution photo like i wanted. phones can give you a higher resolution than this. also it took FOREVER to have a face that was somewhat normal. I decided to have a Friendly Smile because everyone else there has Friendly Smiles in their pictures. it took FOREVER to get the picture. it was very frustrating. it probably would have been easier with another person using a camera or phone to take a picture. its prob easier to have a normal smile for another person. i can do a small Thoughtful Smile well, but not a larger Friendly Outgoing Normie smile, and especially not an Open Mouthed Laughing Smile where you look really happy.

go to shrink tomorrow (after job), then day after that, go to family docker (after job.) really want to ask the docker about “getting a copy of muh medical records” pref in pdf or doc form. so i could have that handy if i ever sack up and go to the shady MMJ doctor to try to get them to sign a form. there’s nothing IN the records that would technically qualify me. it’s more to show a Bona Fide to the shady MMJ doctor, that yeah i have records and i’m willing to bring them in, and though they wont necessarly back this up, here’s how i think MMJ could help me hhahahahahaha.

 

DONT WALK ALL OVER A DOORMAT AND THEN COMPLAIN ABOUT HIM BEING A DOORMAT

IT TAKES TWO TO MAKE A DOORMAT.

all these women complaining about nice guy doormats. YES I AGREE it sucks to have people THROWING themselves asking to be WALKED ON, but THAT DOESNT MEAN YOU HAVE TO DO IT!!!!! Use it as a teaching moment to leave them better than you found them. say, stand up man! Dont let people walk all over you! and feel SHAME on Yourself if YOU ever walk on people!

GOOD WOMEN DONT WALK ON MEN!

DONT WALK ALL OVER A DOORMAT AND THEN COMPLAIN ABOUT HIM BEING A DOORMAT!

BETTER TO LIGHT A CANDLE THAN CURSE THE DARKNESS!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i never walked on people. i wouldnt feel RIGHT walking on people. id say, this is fookin retarded, get up man, im not gonna WALK on you, have some damn self respect man!

yep so reading the controversial stuff from march 2015 (1.5 years ago hahaha) its obvious i should have

  1. just left it all alone, which i OBVIOUSLY couldnt do, so therefore my best option was
  2. just Confess and Blurt It Out right then and there. STOP WAITING FOR THE PERFECT MOMENT to talk to her because she wasnt gonna take it. the best I could have done is send her a one page email stating all the facts in as unemotional a way as possible and say, welp heres the explanation for all this. now just reject me already and lets move on with our lives and not have too much butthurt.

 

 

heh i kinda wish That Woman was all sad because YES IT IS, I GET IT, that losing a friend is HARD, even if you arent losing a Lover. So I wanted to know that she was UPSET to lose me as a friend, because that means i MEANT something to her as a friend, which i was PRETTY SURE I did. And she meant something to ME as a friend too! and then shit CHAAAAANNNGGGGED!!!!!! How is this SO HARD to understand! FEELINGS CHANGE!!!!!! Just Friends shit can CHANGE to wanting to be more than friends! its not ULTERIOR MOTIVES!!!!!

i guess i was/am trying to convince myself i didnt have ulterior motives. becuase i wouldnt like ulterior motives either. but deep down i guess i know it wasnt ulterior motives.

but i can see how you might think its ulterior motives, and i really want to convince you it wasnt, because i know how bad ulterior motives are.

 

hehehehe

 

i mean this stuff HAPPENS, its not just ulterior motives. but do WOMEN ever get feelings for their GUY friends, or it it always the other way around? i dunno. knowing women and how stupid and ridiculous they are, they probably dont, hahahahaha. why not? because they are meeting fun, interesting, secsy, eligible NEW guys ALL THE TIME. just a revolving door of neverending new guys. never any need to RETHINK anything because there is always someone NEW,

women are CONSTANTLY meeting new guys. men meet like one new woman a year. women meet a new guy EVERY DAY.

shit yeah men are more easily replaceable. its just a fact of life. get used to it.

yeah well that has been hard for me. i hate being replaced hahahaha. it takes 2 years for me to get over it every time.

and now all these people are piling on the man as the bad guy here, because he was friends with her, and as soon as she says no i wont fook you, he DUMPS her and turns his back. its all about SECS and FOOKING to these women, they dont even know what LUV is, and they cant understand that feelings happen sometimes, and its really hard to turn off feelings, and sometimes you need to be away from the person in order to get over your feelings, because they dont have feelings for you! and they call that dumping your friend because she didnt want to fook you. way to totally miss the point in the most jooish way possible. its like they never had unrequited luv for a friend before hahahaha. and they probably HAVENT! men understand what this is like………women do not.

yes they are like a separate species! damn! they dont know any of our feels and we dont know any of their feels!

good thing she hurts! but i GUARANTEE SHE will get over him a LOTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT quicker than he gets over her! it will take him two YEARS, it will take her 2 months, tops.

interviews monday tuesday AND wednesday. that is a first. 3 interviews in 3 days. i mean how can I NOT get a Job Offer pretty soon? hehehehe.heh.

probably because i have Stopped Trying on the interviews. but I still dont do markedly WORSE. but i am remarkably not self aware hahahaha. i write about myself all day and im still not self aware hehe.

sheeeit back in march 2015 i was smokin MJ regularly. the best thing was to just put it in a regular cigarette. take out maybe half of the filter. and then you could easily smoke those outdoors.

heh. you know why i get jealous when you go hang out and meet all these new guys? because one of these new guys youre gonna think is more interesting and secsy than me and i dont want u to leave me!

i mean people can do what they WANT. no ones entitled to anything. just saying its god damn competitive AF out there, when your GF is meeting all these hot new guys all the time, and you are pretty average at best. hows she NOT gonna leave you for one of them, when you take all this extra effort to appreciate?

i have Being Dumped issues because women have had NO PROBLEM dumping me when the time came. showing me EXACTLY how much value they thought I had As A Mate. NO PROBLEM replacing me with a Sexier Man. Doesnt mean those men were Essentially Superior Humans to Me, in GODS Eyes…………but the women I was trying to get with sure thought so!!!!!!!

so hell yeah i have ISSUES about that! anyone would!!!!!

not saying i agree with this, but wouldnt it be an incentive for the state to legalize MJ if there were HUGE TAX REVENUE they could get from it? like if people make more money with it being illegal (police, law enforcement, pharm, alcohol, lawyers, jails), then WHY NOT add SO MUCH TAX to it that the state would make more money off the TAX than they would off all these other things. which means it would have to be a damn high tax. like maybe 20% hahahaha.

basically, how much tax would be ENOUGH for State Govt to approve legal MJ?

i mean i would be willing to pay a HUGE tax.

now im DEFINITELY not saying that that tax money would be used wisely. roads would still be falling apart, schools would still be shitty, infrastructure would still be shitty, there would still be no jobs, and all the money would just go to state workers and politicians salaries and pensions hahahaha, even if it brought in in a trillion bux a year. but shouldnt that be enough to convince THEM?

how about a 100% tax rate. buy a $100 bag of MJ for $200 and $100 goes to the state. how could the state not want that.

hahahahahaha

so i will be speaking to the director of IT tomorrow, he has a very impressive linkedin and has accomplised 14880000000000000000000000 times the things i have at around the same age i am.

they mentioned another guy would be there too, they just mentioned a first name that sounded very informal, i looked up people named this at the company, and thats the CEO’s first name. he goes by this informal kind of nickname. he has a PHD from CAMBRIDGE. I mean thats intimidating as FOOK. do I really NEED all that? i am just trying to make 12 dollars an hour here. you dont need to have your cambridge phd ceo fooking talk to me.

oh i bet he has a wife and children too. and gets respect from people. well hes EARNED it!

the company is probably making at least 30 million a year in revenue and they want ME to speak to the CEO. i mean ive seen this before, where there were RIDICULOUSLY high up people in the interview for basically an entry level position.

trying to do some research on company, interview prep right now, printing shit. gonna run out of this “new” black print cartridge i just bought like a month ago. lucky if a print cart can last for 10 interviews hehehe.

right now posting some stuff from april 2015, when i was still talking to her. it is sad. real sad. i am very embarrassed and ashamed of how cowardly and weak and stupid i was. shes not a bad person. i wasnt trying to play mind games with her, but im sure i ended up confusing her anyway. she was having a tuff time in life. the best thing i could have done was be direct. and i wasnt. you think she was mature enough to handle that at 24 years old? come on.

i mean i didnt want to manipulate her either. i was just SO DESPERATE to hang out with her, and she just kept avoiding it. so why didnt i say, well she OBVIOUSLY doesnt want to hang out! so stop bugging her, OR JUST SAY WHAT I WANT TO SAY AND BE DONE WITH IT.

so it is painful seeing myself acting so idiotically against this poor little confused gurl.

but i was confused too. i wasnt trying to manipulate or control her. i just want to hang out. and i just couldnt accept reality though.

i wish i had the BALLS just to say what I was really thinking though. just be a MAN and be like LISTEN. HERES THE THING. I’ve started to like like you over the past couple months. this affects our rel and we HAVE to deal with it.

not cutesy bullshit like i missssssssss you and lets hang out soon bla bla bla.

I WAS ACTING LIKE A WOMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

so yeah hope i dont have too many throwback posts like that, becuase i need to move on from that. i mean i learned my lesson and hopefully i wont do the same shameful shit again.

which isnt to say shes blameless. she could have done better too.

but i was no innocent either.

but im not a bad guy, shes not a bad person either, we were just two decent people who used to be good friends, both acting very weakly and cowardly, and the entire rel crumbling and dying as a result, and it was just SAAADDDDDDD AS FOOOOOOOK.  Like i say im not ANGRY at her, i haven’t really EVERY gotten ANGRY except BEFORE it ended. After it ended, I’ve just been SADDDDDDD AS FOOOOOOOOK. Cuz it really IS!

talking to the CEO. WHY would they throw out this second name, you’ll be talking to director if IT john kimball, and also billy. who the fook is billy. (not actual name.)

Why not say Billy Smith, CEO of the 500-employee company??????

so that means the job pays at least 40k right?

36k is National Average. i mean even that is a little HIGH for me, thinking well ive settled for 12 an hour, no WAY anyone would ACTUALLY pay me 18 an hour!

maybe the CEO just sits in on SOME interviews for FUN when he has the time and is not having power lunches or doing photo ops. he has a free hour, they’re doing an interview, whoopee, might as well drop in and terrify the Supplicating Dogsbody for a 12 dollar an hour job when I make 200k a year. I make TEN TIMES what he does.

It’s just not a WHITE thing to do to LORD your influence over other white men like that. And I’m pretty sure the guy is white. CEO with a phd in engin from cambridge, about 65 years old. gotta be white.

so she was just an immature little gurl, didnt know any better, dindu nuffin. yeah but she had like 5 years more relship and secs experience than me!

but THATS AS A WOMAN! WOMEN dont do any ACTUAL WORK or EFFORT or TRYING in relships! they dont learn any actual SKILLS like communication, empathy, sympathy, kindness, compassion, love, etc hahahahaha.

they can have 10 years of relship experience and still be CHILDREN!!!

anyway. interview tomorrow. another humiliation hahaha. no really MOST of the people ive talked to have been NICE.

but yeah i am ashamed i didnt do better. i really shat the bed. she kinda shat the bed too, but that much is on her. but I shat the bed too and I am ashamed of it and never want to make the same mistake again.

i dont think not shitting the bed would have made her Luv me…..but it prob would have saved some pain and butthurt from The End.

Shit just hire a shrink EVERY DAMN TIME you want to End A Rel. because you are gonna be so emotionally compromised you’ll fook it up every damn time. so just pay a shirnk 50 bucks to do it for you.

i just wish i had not been such a weak, pathetic, stupid bitch. i wish i could look back and say i was proud of how i acted. that i handled this like a grown, honorable, respectable, mature white man. and that i didnt act like a little girl.

i mean i wasnt Abusive or Creepy so I guess that is good, but I was pushy and needy and immature like a little girl. not my finest hour hahaha.

shaved face with actual razor today instead of electric shaver, its an interesting alternative and prob a closer shave.

oh well. im going to interviews. IM TRYING. IM TRYING. IM MAKING AN EFFORT hahahahaha. im not just sitting here like a lazy negro. i have done 486 applications and 27 interviews. and still cant get a 24k job with health care hahahaha.

i dunno. it just chaps my ass that 25 year old women arent mature enough to do work in a relationship and communication, but they ARE mature enough to get masters degrees and make 60k a year, and i am not mature enough to hold down a 30k a year job without Flaming Out and Breaking Down under the pressure.

really grinds my gears hahahaha.

this IT Ninja I am interviewing with has been working 20 years in IT, much of it higher level / management, but didnt finish his bachelors degree until he was successful in his career, in something COMPLETELY unrelated and useless. I mean he is the type they make MBA In IT Degrees for so he can be a good CIO.

but he probably makes too much money to want to do that, he can always get good paying work, he knows he’s got Valuable Skills. i bet he’s married as fook hahaahahahaha. i mean he’s been very gainfully employed for the past TWENTY YEARS and sounds like a charismatic, can-do guy, judging by the 10 diff recommendations from people on his linkedin. ideally i would do this, but i cant really. get linkedin recs i mean.

anyway i have to drive past HER workplace in order to get to interview/workplace tomorrow. and what if she were outside the office smoking a cig or something. well she probably quit smoking cigs, like a responsible successful person.

i should stop attacking her, because she is broken hearted that she lost a Dear Friend, ie Me! it HURTS to lose a friend!

hehehehe tell me about it. hey i lost a friend too.

oh so youre hurting? not my problem. go to a shrink. hehehehehehe.

i also hate reddit for assuming that 25 year old women are not mature enough to be responsible for their decisions and lives. and for being against getting married young and having children young. and that you are only mature once you hit 30.

yeah well this may be the case with a lot of people, but my god they are REALLY against people getting married before like age 25 at the absolutely earliest. especiall for women. men dont really matter. but women need to get all that EXPERIENCE and have all those ADVENTURES and make all those MISTAKES.  youre only ready to marry once youre 30 and have taken 30 cox.

heh. watching a ridic old sherlock holmes episode and its the guy from raiders of the lost ark, the nervous creepy nazi “toht”. wearing a ridiculous wig. is that the same guy? kinda looks like him.  i have never seen him in anything else.

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt2043454/?ref_=nm_flmg_act_16

yes its the same guy, ronald lacey.

ANYWAY. he died in 1991 of CANCER.  and had to use a colostomy bag since he was like 20 years old. well he still managed to have at least two children.

yeah thats the thing. its a REAL MIXED BAG, age 25 is, for women. some are mature, some are not. but i think they should be more mature than immature. i mean yeah I was immature then, and now, but I SHOULDNT HAVE BEEN. Thats WAY too old to be immature.

yeah well i had never done this before, never had this experience, never fell in luv with a friend, i didnt think i ever would. so i guess that thing wasnt INGRAINED in me by age 25! like i think everything is INGRAINED by age 25. you can still do plnety of learning and changing after that. thank god.

so….you can get a shady doctor to sign a MMJ rec, BUT the state licensing agency doesnt need to APPROVE it and send you your state approved card! actually the state DENIES about 20% of the applications they get every year! but why?????? do some doctors have a reputation as shoddy? probably. under investigation by LE? probably.

but dont they just raid the dispensaries? do they really care about doctors? ive only heard ONE news story in the past 5 years or so about a doctor getting charged with MJ card fraud.

OR should i complain about Severe Pain next time i see my regular doc, THEN get recrods printed, take those to MMJ doctor?

should i be trying to Scam The System like this? doesnt that LOOK BAD for MMJ in general, and also for Legal MJ in general?

hey just charge 100% tax and legalize it! legalize, tax, and regulate it, oh great state hahahahaha.

i mean honestly its a great safety net. i could have the Worst Day At Work of Angry Customers Demanding Explanations, and it would be easier to take knowing I had some MJ waiting at home for me!

i honestly LUV it the way i luv a waifu. it is one of the best REWARDS for me. like giving a dog a treat or giving a kid candy/ice cream. or give the normie his cuddly gf. give me some mj.

i also wish i hadnt overdone the drinking, so that i could go out with normies drinking, as a way to Team Build. you will have an easier time at Work if you go out drinking with your Team, otherwise you look like the Office Weirdo, and they are gonna try to Force You Out and Bullycide you hahahahaha.

if they REALLY have me talk to the CEO of a 300 person, 30 million a year company, i am gonna write 6000000 words on it hahahaha.

when you start a rel, start a FUND and put 50$ in it, so you can pay a shrink to facilitate the breakup. PREPAY for your inevitable breakup hahahaha. shit ill pay for it, just like a man paying for dinner. it’s well worth the 50$ to me. maybe even 100$. two sessions.

 

she makes 100k, he makes 35k, they are both 28 yo hahahahahahaha. look at this fookin normie making 35k at age 28 hahahahaha!!!!!!!!!!!!

what about men who get divorced at age 30, then dont date again till they are 45, and find that all the 30-45 women are HORRRRRRRRIBLE. all the ego of a 25 year old but none of the hotness to back it up. also more kids, more cox, more exes, more crazy. i dont want to date 35 year olds! except maybe for casual secs. but you cant have a FAMILY with 35 year old women!

i just worry i will never get that close to THAT high quality of a woman again and will always have to settle for LESS.

 

heres some great drama. I dont think he should GHOST her thought. just be like wow im really shocked you had an abortion, i dont think i can marry a baby murderer, or, maybe i can, lets talk about this.

i mean yeah i would be shocked too. but its probably better than cheating. maybe. its still pretty damn bad. i am very anti abortion, more than averaege.

also this woman is super retarded because she refuses to believe she was being dishonest. does not understand the concept of dishonesty by omission.

hmm maybe thats what i did to HER. lying by omission. i wasnt telling her about this big important thing.

well it all comes back to “I was PLANNING on telling her when we HUNG OUT because thats a BIG CONVERSATION that you cant have via text, needs to be done IN PERSON.”

which is true, BUTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTt

what i LEARNED was,

when they keep AVOIDING you for X months,

then YES, you DO tell them the big thing via text, because your rel is pretty much OVER anyway.

oct 24

posted a response on despair forums for the first time in months, felt like interacting with someone hhehe. a man suffering after a bad breakup, where she blamed him, said its all your fault, and blocked him for being smothering, when he wasnt. that has got to be hard to hear. i imean THAT WOMAN never accused me of being smothering, but i knew she was thinking it, and i know i can be, and i have tried NOT to be.

had interview with the healthcare place today, went ok, was nervous, always nervous, anticipating crucifixion. i asked whos this “billy” guy, is the CEO really gonna be here, and they said yeah he likes to sit in on a lot of interviews, but he had to go to a last minute business lunch, sorry he couldnt be here. I said thats fine, i am always happy to come in and talk to him later, or on the phone. but yeah. that WAS the CEO. very hands on CEO. damn.

talked to it director, and there were 2 women in there as well. kind of a low pressure interview. there was an 8 minute wonderlic Intelligence Test before everything started. i only got through 20 questions. sheeeeeeit.

i forgot to ask how many people were interviewing. i did ask about salary and did not say another place was muh number 1. i demonstrated knowledge of the company and said welp i dont have tons of working experience with SQL and C++ but I coursework in them and got all A’s. i like to take initiative to teach myself the things i need to know. i use google, do due diligence, and ask intelligent questions.

i said WELP i looked at glasdoor, says 35k is the average, but i’m looking to come in well below average because i am entry level, i made X at previous job, and i am looking for 14 to 16 here, but very flexible. i want to be in your ballpark. they talked about how great the benefits were and how there are 19 paid days off a year.

i mean it looks pretty good. would not mind getting this job. this one is prob the new number 1 anyway. close to home, 15 an hour, benefits, M-F days, growing company, award winning workplace.

also i went in there and saw that a woman i used to work with at the Living Hell Previous Job was there. she was always super nice and I was nice to her and helped her when she was new. and she appreciated my help. although I think I shocked her once with my filthy mouth, hahahaahaha. but i think she forgot about that. anyway she seemed happy to see me and i was nice to her today. also sent her an invite on linkedin today while everything was fresh. she was/is a nice sweet person and thats all that matters to me. also she was a smart good worker and deserved a better job. so nice to see she got a job here. i am sure it is at least a little better than where we were.

anyway ideally she can say oh yeah he’s great, he’s super nice AND super smart. i mean i had a good repoire with her and liked helping her. i mean i liked helping people in general and our people needed a LOT of help because they were constantly being THROWN TO THE LIONS, not just the wolves, but the goddamn LIONS, they needed a lot of help, and there was not enough of a supply of help. so i took up the cross and helped people off the clock quite a bit.

anyway maybe thats a SIGN FROM GOD that THIS IS THE ONE, that this nice woman works there.

or maybe its just the 27th rejection hahahahaha. life goes on, time marches on.

way to email me paypal and amazon letting me know my password has been stolen and that i should change it hahahaha.

anyway. yeah i would totally take this job. its close and doesnt seem too bad. i could be somewhat proud of working there. there might be some help desk work but as long as its less than 4 hours of inbound calls a day, that would be ok.

i drove by the place where i heard That Woman was working. i said IM NOT GONNA LOOK AT IT but i failed in that and instead blatantly Rubbernecked at the parking lot looking for her car. I didnt see it but there were a lot of cars and i was going 40 mph. i swore that if i drove by again after the interview i would not look at the building or parking lot. that i would physically block it with my hand.

instead i just took another road to go home.

if i get this job i am willing to do whatever it takes to not look at that building or parking lot hahahaha.

i cant believe the CEO is so HANDSY that he likes to do so many interviews. he has a phd in engin from cambridge. did he publish any papers? how much money did he make as an Executive Business Consultant, and then as CEO of a health care company? how fookin rich is he? is he british? probably. why would he come from UK to here? I would rather be born in the UK hahahahahahaha well maybe. things are shitty over there too. but you are closer to Yurop and the Home of the White Race. i dunno. i just dont trust people who leave their whole FAMILY an OCEAN away unless they are nonwhite immigrants coming from the third world to the first world.

also i guess he is very hands on in the technical projects. GREAT. i mean you are like 70 years old man. go traveling. visit your family. youve made MILLIONS of dollars. the man is a MULTIMILLIONAIRE and I have to talk to HIM for a 15 dollar an hour job hahahahaha.

well they didnt say. i know youre SUPPOSED to get them to say a number first. im honestly too desperate for that, plus I already had a range in mind: 14 to 16. let them know i looked at glassdoor. maybe they’ll reject me because i looked too desperate because i said a number first hahahahaha.

they responded yes that range is in the ballpark.

i asked them about Growth in the company. they said they were growing SO MUCH they plan to DOUBLE within 3 years. they are growing so fast they can barely keep up. INTERESTING.

sent thank you email hours ago. damn.

interview tomorrow for Bank job, in Records. Bank Records. 12.50 an hour. this company is also a Best Workplace To Work. I should just apply to places on those list. as determined by large local paper. anyway. I semi respect this bank as a good employer and would be happy to take their job too. their hr person impressed me by contacting me about this job, after i was rejected for the tech job at this bank. i mean that was just good guy greg stuff. i usually hate women, HR, and companies, but she really impressed me here. i mean she didnt have to call ME. she coulda called any of the other 1000000000000000 people that had applied for that job in the past day, when i had applied like 8 months ago.  it shows they actually LOOK at those old applications and dont just throw them in the memory hole. the whole company seems above board and ethical and not run by sneaky semites.

and then on wed i have the final interview of week. not gonna get a ton of sleep before that one. early in the morning. part time job. but it pays more per hour than the FT job tomorrow. but that FT has decent, ok, average benefits.

WHEN YOU’VE BEEN DOWN AS LONG AS ME, MEDIOCRE LOOKS PRETTY DAMN GOOD!!!

like honestly a 12 dollar an hour FT job with benefits is nothin special, which all 21 year old college grads should aim for, not a 35 year old man!

i mean how can you raise a family on that? how can you attract a wife with that?

you mean youre 35 and havent found a wife and started a family yet? hahahahaha.

BABY STEPS.

get this job, then go out with slutz from okcupid hahahaha and try to find a wife.

reddit thinks that you shouldnt date men who even use the WORD “SLUTS”. at age 26 you should be more mature!

hehehe what about if you are 35 hahahahahahhahahahha

no i call women SLUTS every day. it simply means you are too promiscuous, your number is too high, you dont have enough REVERENCE for the secs act and who you do it with.

its a nihilistic culture of death. you dont have enough respect for life. at BEST, you are DANGEROUSLY immature. thats what SLUT is shorthand for. someone i only want to use for short term pleasure. never more.

sheeeeit i mean i dunno. i pretty much HAVE to go to some stupid website if i want to meet new women. whether its a WIFE, or its a short term Meat Hole hahahahahaha. a Slut.  ok how about i LOOK for a good wife type woman, then if i meet her and she turns out to be a slut, then uhhhhh let her do what sluts do, and forget about marrying her hehehe.

i just yeah. i shouldnt hate how women can be immature and get a man, but men have to be mature to get a woman. because thats just natural. thats how god made us. uterus power. but plenty of immature men get women too. you dont need to be mature, you just need to be MANLY.

 

look at this nice young man. he wants to dump his GF, but he knows she’ll be devastated, so he wants to let her down as easily as possible. he doesnt hate her, and really doesnt want to add insult to injury. or add injury to injury hahahahahaha. so he asks for advice how how to dump as gently as possible. what a nice young man!

hey i CAME CLOSE to having a real rel with a woman. technically I HAVE had actual real rels with women. just nothing that involved mating. then it was a clusterfook. they only wanted negros and men who acted like negros to fook them hahahahhaa no thats a lie. woman2012 didnt want negros. That Woman didnt ALWAYS and ONLY want negros.

basically dump someone the way you would want to be dumped. be nice……but dont be so nice that you give them false hope that its not really over. be as nice as you can in stating that it’s for sure over.

yeah this is a hard thing to talk about.  i guess i can’t blame anybody for being bad at it! let alone a cowardly little woman! shit i prob wouldnt have the balls to do it!

or when other women dumped me, they tried to be nice about it, and that led to me not fully understanding, thinking i could get them to change their mind, talk them out of it. so yeah its hard to be nice but also be VERY FIRM.

so spend 50 bucks to have a shrink do it. totally worth it. they can get the message across in a firm way with NO ambiguity. i will do this every time i have to dump someone hahahaha. or if i think a woman wants to dump me, i will hire the shrink FOR her to dump me.

this is a GREAT fookin idea. why doesnt EVERYONE do this? shrinks are everywhere, even the middle of nowhere. i mean they are nothing but MSW social workers, and these are a dime a dozen.

heh. i wonder if wimmin who have MSW degrees are better at dumping their boifrans. or better communicators. or more mature. or better Conflict Revolvers. I wonder!

or do you have to be a LICENSED or CLINICAL social worker.

 

THE MOTHER OF ALL NEGATIVE THOUGHTS

aug 23

sheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeit. had a dream with small part from this tall qt young girl we used to work with. when she first came on, i was like, this girl is like a better version of that woman. prettier, younger, i should focus on her, to try to forget about that woman. who knows if she were nicer, but that woman had stopped being nice to me anyway. she seemed a LITTLE bitchy and obnoxious.

anyway the point is, ANY woman can be nice to you if they WANT, AND if a qt young woman is being NICE to you, you will forget about the other woman who was nice to you once and you cant seem to get over. its not hard or rare to be nice. they just have to be WILLING to be nice. which for me is pretty rare hahahaha.

anyway i think in the dream i was trying to muster up the courage to sit next to the qt gurl and start talking to her confidently. see if she was willing to be nice to me or a huge bitch hahahaha. ultimately i never did. well at least THAT WOMAN wasnt in the dream. and it made the point that I COULD get over her and move on from her and feel something for another woman some day, the main things is that they are young and pretty, and that they are being NICE to me. shit even a slut mudshark could get me to like her that way. an attractive woman being NICE to you goes a LONNNNNNNNNNNGGGGGGGGGGGGG way. you wouldnt even believe it. but believe me. it is a VERY powerful thing that will quickly melt your heart of ice.

and yeah it does help a lot when you find the woman attractive. vs, i dunno, do i want to settle for this possibly-unacceptable level of attractiveness, she’s not very attractive at all.

yeah i really wanted to KNOCK IT OUT OF THE PARK on the tech job interview yesterday, but I did not. I mean i didnt do super horrible, i did about average considering, but i wish they had an hour instead of 45 minutes. cuz i was rushing through every answer, couldnt quite think straight, def lost some confidence and it showed.

well they were only interviewing 3 people not 10 people, so i have a better chance, right?

is the county that busy they have to rush interviews as quickly as possible? i dont think so. my prev employer was that busy. because we were SLAMMED all day every day and kept things LEAN. now the university i really want to get into, they had hourlong plus interviews. somewhat relaxed, or least the idea they could take as long as they wanted to interview someone, and let them talk.

i dunno, just so much that doesnt make sense, doesnt add up, and you will never make sense or get your closure, and you have to accept that some things will never make sense. just let it go.

yeah but when its your JOB to make SENSE of shit….. well do you REALLY need ot make actual sense of it, or can you just BULLSHIT something to your customer or to your Team Leader. mm hmmm.

so yeah i did not knock it out of the park. also i was just caught off guard by that weird aborted interview earlier in the day.

i mean how would a normie handle that? heh normies dont even get into these situations because they are HAVES who HAVE jobs, HAVE been gainfully employed for years, HAVE a wife who gives them some effort and loyalty. hehehehe. she might bitch and nag but she hasnt LEFT them yet.

you might hate it when she bitches and NAGS and is not nice to you…..but how would you react if she just LEFT you without a word and you never heard from her again?

be happy when she nags you because it means shes not willing to LEAVE you….yet hahahahahahahaha. oh this is horrible woman worshipping white knighting. better man up guys! be THANKFUL your wife is JUST a nag!

no the woman SHOULD be MATURE about it and realize nagging never works, its passive aggressive immature bullshit…..but there you have the unrealistic expectation that a woman should be an adult, specifically should handle conflict in a rel like an adult. this is like asking uncle adi to luv the joos hahahaha. like asking ME to luv joos hahahaha. not gonna happen. i hope it never happens hahahaha.  like asking a crusader to luv the muslim swine trying to invade his europe and rape his european women.  of course thats exactly whats happening now. but these weak pathetic feminized men are not CRUSADERS in any sense! they are literal CUCKS!

unlike a REAL cuck, i never liked being cucked, or even the suggestion of. it always made me fly into a Righteous Rage, and this is the proper response, so I’m glad I still have that.

this god damn office assistant job for the trucking company KEEPS getting posted every few weeks, open for a few days, get 400 more applications, it goes away for a few weeks, comes back and get 400 more applications…..its frustrating because i want to know what the fok they are DOING here.

maybe all the thousands of people applying are desperate and they are holding out for the Perfect Candidate. well they dont want a harvard grad, they want someone super young who is currently going to harvard. not gonna happen. so they want say maybe a second year undergrad at [local univ] who is doing a useful degree, getting 4.0, is 19 or 20 years old, has VERY good people skills, is VERY attractive, but prob want a smart man who will actually get stuff done, was an eagle scout, probably the type of go getters who go to naval academy or west point, ok how about they are big at ROTC at local university then, cuz again, if they are west point, they cant work here.

so that would be their perfect candidate then: a 20 year old halfwhite attractive tall male, eagle scout, honors student at local university, ROTC, business and or engineering, very charismatic and confident and mature.

i have sent in 2 or 3 applications to this company for this job or jobs very much like it.

maybe they have a database so they can see how many times a person applied. and if you get to like 10 or 20, then you get an interview. assuming you are not the perfect candidate described above. they havent found him yet, otherwise they would fill the position and stop posting.

or maybe they fill it, and the job is so stupid, the person quits. or is fired. and they have to hire someone again. but why not just go back to the pool of 1000 applicants? because its worth it to spend the time accepting 1000 NEW applicants so you can Cultivate the strongest pool ever? why do they NEED MOAR APPLICANTS when they aleady have like 2000????!?!?!?!?!!??!?!

it will never make sense, dont try to make sense out of it, dont get angry hahahahaha.

go for powerwalk in peak sun today, call chemical testing guy when i get back. maybe my Market Value is good enough for one call, but certainly not Phone Tag.

i mean why not just email me? I’ve had interviews set up via email, no one ever talked to me for even 1 minute.

my resume has had my correct email on it for like 10 years hahahaha. he has my email.

maybe when i send in my shit for the third time for this trucking company, which i think is a subsidiary of a very shady local trucking company that has a reputation for horrible service and very unhappy customers and is probably just a front for money laundering hahahahaha. anyway i will do something disruptive with muh cover letter and really make it jump out at them and show what a value add i am, than my usual form cover letter that its obvious i am using to apply to 500 jobs. but seriously, i modify each cover letter with statements referring to the company’s mission and vision hahaha. i really do. i look up the mission and vision statement and use some marketingspeak taken from the company’s own website. i am PASSIONATE about serving the LTL Logistics needs of your clients and being on the leading edge etc.

i would say most normies go through 5 to 10 interviews before getting a decent job. they don’t know the pain of doing 20 to 30 interviews hehehehe. a more protracted, prolonged struggle. twice the rejection, twice the time.

heh imagine if i actually approached women the way i do job searching. at least with jobs i actually submit the shit and go on interviews. with women i dont even Women Search on OK cupid or whatever, go out on dates, and get rejected. i might actually have some success if i did!

called the guy from testing company again, voice mail again. i left voice message yesterday, giving him muh email address and Mobile phone number. i am not gonna leave him a second voice mail!

but yeah that stupid fake interview at the hospital, i guess that ended up really grinding my gears and discouraging me. like how could you be MORE insulting that continually rejecting me. oh. how about finally inviting me to an interview, and then essentially aborting the interview during the first question and saying i shouldnt apply to just anything because im desperate. god damn. what did they tell the black 19 year old gurl that talked like an unprivileged savage hahahaha.  well they probably said she was just perfect for this job.

i guess in order to make 11 dollars an hour i HAVE to go to walmart or mcd’s. because the places that have Boring, Stressless 11 dollar an hour part time jobs want a very specific kind of person.

so i think about that woman a lot, not as much as i used to thank god, but i know i SHOULDNT. but i cant help myself. i think about how shes doing, what shes doing with her life, not just because i was in luv with her, but because she was an actual part of my life. this comes from being friends for 3 years. then the person is GONE, and you cant help but miss them and think of them sometimes. i wonder what so and so is doing.

i am sure she has HAD to have had a few thoughts like that about me. and then what does she tell herself about that? probably something like Oh. Sigh. That was just pathetic. i guess i hope he’s doing well but he was at such a pathetic place in his life. hes got to really work on his career and not get so heartbroken over women. i mean shit hes 35 years old, he has to get a plan for his life to accomplish something. so sad. he was a nice guy but SO SAD.

well at least ive gotten over the idea that she hates me and thinks i betrayed her!!!!!

now she just goes AW. HOW SAD. SMH. nice guy, but SO SAD. So Pathetic. I hope for his sake he moves on. Ive moved on. Im doing well. he was a mess. i hope he gets the help he needs. I couldnt deal with that. he was a good friend but could you IMAGINE me and him DATING!! PSHAW! How could he GET such a ridiculous idea! what a sad, pathetic loser. sometimes you need to Let Go of those sorts of Negative People in your life.

WHAT A WAY TO BE REMEMBERED! WAY TO BE THAT GUY hahahaha.

i mean shit. if anyone deserves to be emotionally compromised its me. dont get SO emotional about someone LIKING you. just be like welp i dont return his feelings but its not the end of the world. people get feelings for each other. just like i had feelings for those other guys. it happens. its not so ridiculous or out of bounds. we were good friends and then i guess something in him changed. its pretty understandable and unsurprising.

i dunno maybe that IS what she ultimately thought. I’LL NEVER KNOW.

i might be sad and pathetic, but i dont want to be REMEMBERED LIKE THAT by people i used to be friends with. who got to know The Real Me and saw that I wasnt totally Sad and Pathetic, but a Good Person.

i had this female friend when i was younger and i never fell in luv with her, and she was always very nice to me, and she had genuine concern and whatnot for me, wanted me to find a nice woman who didnt leave me in the lurch. but i kept picking the wrong women, getting involved with the wrong women. i guess my picker is broken.

its only 50% broken at most though! soon after i picked another woman and my female friend said yeah she’s great, it would be SO CUTEEEEEEEE if you two got together, and i was like yeah see my pickers not broken, i can find a good solid woman whos not a crazy child, yes she would be great for me wouldnt she? and i indeed liked the woman and she was nice to me too, but we never got much of a chance to hang out because we never lived less than 70 miles away, then the woman moved like 500 miles away hahahaha.  if we ever lived in the same town, i would have DEFINITELY gone all in with her.

so yeah my picker is not totally fooked. indeed i still think i picked a good woman with that woman. i just had no idea she would disappoint me THIS bad.

anyway that previous female friend, she expressed concern that i was becoming a hateful neo nazi white supremist. So I Walked It Back and said naaaaahhhhh dont worry, this is just a phase, i dont hate anybody, dont worry about it, you know i investigate all this edgy transgressive shit, dont worry.  and then i went on becoming an even more avowed racist and nazi and huhwhyte supreemist hahaha, but essentially just didnt tell her about it hahahahaha. i figured it wasn’t worth losing friends over, and she was/is a great person, and i didn’t want to push her away for something she would never understand.

anyway i hope she is doing well. she was doing some kind of masters degree at a decent skool in a big important city. she will be just fine. i mean yeah i wish she’d get married already cuz she’s not getting any younger. but I remember when she was under 21! I could never date her because she has a pozzed jooish view of dating hahahaha. but we got along as friends very well believe it or not. at the time she was in a monogamous, fairly healthy relship with a man who eventually became a fairly good friend, a great guy, i got along with him really well and had quite the mancrush on him. i would be very happy if she had gotten married to him. he was a really cool guy. he was hilarious, ridiculously smart, great taste in music, really good guitar player and singer. i wish he hadnt done his phd in total marxism! he was not a phaggy feminine whiny shitlib at all. just a very kewl guy. i wish him nothing but the best. i hope he finds a nice white wife and has many brilliant white children. when you say phd at known leftist univ in jooish theory, you think of the worst type of person. but he was honestly the best type of person, and too GOOD to do what he’s doing. but at the time i was very impressed by the Intellectual Masturbation over foucault and deleuze and i dont fooking know. zizek and adorno and marcuse and pure frankfurt skool jooish trash. i knew nothing of the frankfurt skool at the time. i just liked hanging out with Real Intellectual Philosophers! but the people I knew were honestly good, great, moral people. in hindsight its disappointing they studied the degen shit they did. but they probably didnt realize it any better than i did.

applied for 6 jobs today but after like 6 days of no job apps, my numbers are DISMAL AND ABYSMAL.

anyway i will just try to forget i met with that woman on monday and had that weird, annoying abortion of an interview. just keep applying for jobs there. in fact i applied for one there today hahahaha.

my suit looks good now, but the white dress shirt is honestly a little bit BIG. maybe i am getting rejected now because the dress shirt is a little big. suits fine now, but now the shirt is fooked up hahahaha.

or maybe they can tell muh black dress shoes are 30 dollar pieces of plastic shit hahahahaha. and i am not wearing 500 dollar italian leather shoes.

maybe my plain black hanes socks are too boring hahahaha.

they are looking at my shoes and socks hahaha.

maybe i had a stray nose hair. maybe i need a haircut. i mean i am getting close to needing one. it has been 46 days. its all on muh days since spreadsheet hahahaha.

sheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeit.

372 days since i sent the last email to that woman!

yes i definitely AM making progress, i dont think about her NEARLY as much, well i still think about her every day, but the thoughts seem a lot more distant, faded, not as vivid. one day i will be all emotioned out regarding her. and if i met a nice young qt gurl right now who was being nice and friendly to me, that would definitely help me forget all about that woman.

“make women good again” is just an old title i had laying around. basically meaning women were ONCE good, and with proper masculine leadership, we can raise a new generation of good women. but you leave women to their own devices, and they turn not good. they need the guidance and influence of strong, good men to stay on the good path. otherwise its pandoras box is opened. road to ruin. men don’t decompose or dissolve or entropy or DEGENERATE as naturally as women do. they dont need as much constraint. its JUST THE WAY IT IS. ITS NATURE. Nature NEEDS weak childlike stupid immature women so they can get pregnant as quickly and as much as possible. period. accept it. you dont have to like it. but accept it or become a foreveralone loveless virgin.

why not make women GREAT again? because i dont even need great. i just want GOOD. GOOD is GOOD ENOUGH for me. just good moral adults. lets get to GOOD first before we even THINK about “great.”

aug 24

yeah it is kinda infuriating to see the same jobs, same company, same location, being posted over and over again. you think, yeah i remember this job because it seemed like a decent entry level job that i could actually see myself doing, so it jumped out at me and i marked it APPLYYYYYYYY and i applied for it asap. now, 3, 4 weeks later, its back. i apply again if i can. sometimes it says ive already applied for the job. i actually prefer this because it means they arent getting duplicate people. but its like how many fookin applications do you need to get for this fookin job….unless you dont really plan on hiring anybody in the near future. then posting shit like this is like a perfect waifu teasing you and leading you on. i just wanted muh 12 dollar an hour full time data entry job, 8 to 5, close to home, no weekends!

heh. i kinda want that woman to experience some of this frustration and failure and rejection. not be making decent money. yeah but its a shitty phone calls cust serv job. yeah but shes probably a level 2 by now and doesnt need to answer phones. she can just give shitty advice to the people who do have to answer phones. “idk figure it out but dont escalate it.” “idk do the same thing youve been doing over and over again and maybe it will work this time” no matter if its been an hour on the call.

besides some of the level 2s still had to make calls and fix the super confusing stuff and then talk to the people about it.

i mean she doesnt have the brains to fix super confusing shit! shes not THAT smart! why should SHE be making 16 dollars an hour hahaha. she only has an ASSOCIATES degree in a field just as useless as mine! and from a 600000000 times less prestigious skool! and yet she is 14888888 years younger than me and doing 90000000 times better than me! even though shes a cowardly immature idiot race traitor white trash MJ addict!!!!!!

the voice of butthurt hahahaha. virgin wizard neet butthurt. well you would prob be butthurt too, is my point.

well at least i seem to be losing weight again. i dont really NEED to though! i have to cut the calories down to an unhealthy 1100 a day hahahaha. its ridiculous because i LUV food and i LUV to eat.

but yeah. sheeeeeeit. monday should have been a good day with the two interviews but it really kinda sucked and both interviews sucked. my vril was compromised by the first weird interview, then i performed shitty in the second interview, where i really really wanted to dig deep and do super well, and i did not. i mean i didnt do super bad….but just doing average or ok is really MEDIOCRE and I wanted to be SUPER GOOD. not just average, because average is not gonna get that fairly awesome job. for that job, i would totally answer the phones 50% of the shift. maybe even 60%.

heh i really SHOULD start LIFTING. they say it really IS good for testosterone, confidence, and i need those things like i need the air i breathe. because i am at a deficit. i dont have Confidence Privilege. its not part of my Head Start that confident normies get hahahahaha.

heh. really my severe lack of confidence pretty much cancels out all the white privilege i have hahahaha. white, male, good family, all the opportunities in the world. my confidence and i guess energy level and will are just THAT weak.

sheeeeeeit. if that first interview would have gone better, then the second interview might have gone better. and the second interview was the one that REALLY MATTERED. this is why i dont like 2 interviews in 1 day hahahaha. i mean at least i can say i DID it, like a real bigboy, youre not a human being if you havent done 2 interviews in 1 day, but still. i fooked up the important one and i am not happy about that.

it wasnt even a specific mistake. it was just seeming nervous and on edge and coming from a position of WEAKNESS and DESPERATION. also i struggled to think of the most in depth case of PC troubleshooting I had done. i guess i could try to meditate on that.

well at least i have been good about not looking up that woman on linkedin. well she would SEE that I visited her profile. unless she has it on limited privacy. in which case i wouldnt see her name if she visited MY profile. not gonna lie, i kinda want her to visit my profile, because it would prove ot me that she is thinking about me. as i am thinking about her every damn day and cant stop.

yeah i think about her FREQUENTLY, but the INTENSITY is definitely lower. the vividness, the power. that is honestly a signif improvement.

so yeah its kinda creepy to think about her every day…..but ive thought about her every day since it happened and at least the thoughts are less awful, less intense, less vivid, less important, less severe. tbh that is great and i am thankful for the progress. but it will still be a while before i can go a whole day without thinking of her at all! at least another year!

went to dsw shoe store, they had some good stuff on the website, but at the actual store, it sucked balls. everything was too expensive and they didnt have the things i liked on the website. i left without wasting any money hehehehe. thankfully the sales people were not aggressive and sleazy. a combination of young kids and downsized middle aged white men with masters degrees from second tier schools and 20 years of experience at second tier companies hahaha.

no the employees were fine, the store was clean and everything, they just did not match up with the website very well. i was considering getting a pair of Plain Black Crocs but they had very few Crocs, and they were brown. come on.

well time to get back on the horse. but i am thinking its gonna be more like 25 interviews rather than 20 interview before i finally get a job hahaha. at 30 i officially start getting Discouraged hahaha.

thats what i should have said to the hospital people. no, i’m not desperate, i’m DISCOURAGED. theres a difference. Actually there isnt hahahahahaha. well yes there is: discouraged dont even apply to jobs or go on interviews. so yes i AM desperate. i am just trying not to use that word.

heh. i should have never left muh job in late 2013. but me and THAT WOMAN were talking alot about jobs and she could get us in at this ridic job. i said, welp, ive been here too long and i need to force myself to do something new, and this just fell into my lap, kinda a sign from GOD, might as well listen to GOD. and then i went with her to the new job and the new job sucked and my relship with her went down in flames and the job went down in flames and now i have been a big neet loser for over a year hahahaha and cant get another job.

if i had just stayed in my comfort zone, none of this horrible shit would have happened hahahahaha.

before everything went wrong with her though, i thought well this is good. she is helping me GROW and DEVELOP and get OUT of my comfort zone and actually DO something with my life. and it turned out to be a huge shit sandwich hahaha. i wish i hadnt done it. i could still be makin 11 grand a year at the old place hahahaha.

yet if the county job called me back and said you got the job, that would change my whole life. 180. i would go from neet loser to gainfully employed winner. i would go from being too shitty for a gurl like her, to being way too good for a piece o white trash like her. its stupid our stupid jobs have such power over our lives like that. and how we view ourselves, and how OTHERS view us too.  but thats just the way it is. you can get butthurt about it and be a neet virgin loser the rest of your life, or you can accept it, and work hard to become a white winner.

never buy an epson xp 200 printer, or probably any “reasonably priced” epson printer, becuase they will totally joo you with the ink cartridges.

  1. the cartridges dont print a lot. like maybe 200 pages for 1 black cart which is 13 dollars.
  2. they only print with epson brand, not store brand made to be copatible witn epson.
  3. if you run out of blue OR yellow OR cyan, you cant even print in Black Only. even if you have a full black cart.

fook epson, those joos.

trump is getting a lot of blowback and his approval rating is probably at or near its lowest, and the media is even suggesting that hillary will win by 9 points. times are tuff. dismal.

an official story on fox news tv on the alt right. jared taylor being approached by fox joos. and of course milo phaggopolis. jared taylor is all right but milo is cancer hahaha. anyway i guess this is what they are saying are the leaders of the alt right hahaha. well we all know NATT is the TRVE leader of the alt right hahahaha.  but supposedly shillary is supposed to make a speech soon directly talking about the alt right.

i mean this is basically My Movement. its what i identify as being a part of. i consume something TRS related mostly every day.

i dont mind being lumped in with jared (tho he needs to stop cucking for da joos) but i do not want to be lumped in with that degen subverter milo. into the OVEN he goes.

contacted about phone screen by company HR. turns out woman is 9-10 years younger than me and went to alma maters Main Rival where she is a True Fan. OOSH. these are the type of idiots i am supposed to be the manager of hahaha. now i am trying to kiss the ass of Children who went to the school that our school saw as Goofus to our Gallant! kissing the ass of Idiot Children so I can get a $12 to $16 dollar an hour job hahahahaha. she didnt have to do that because she had a better resume, including internships and study abroad, so she was able to start her career immediately after college like a good successful normie. clearly she didnt have any Emotional Problems hahahahahahahaha.

http://pastebin.com/wTMfXxcF

Make Up Your Mind — Am I Overqualified Or Underqualified? via @forbes http://www.forbes.com/sites/lizryan/2016/08/23/make-up-your-mind-am-i-overqualified-or-underqualified/#24a6060f62e7

possibly interesting “advice.” make sure you write them a BUSINESS PAIN LETTER!!!!! i forgot about PAIN POINTS!!!!!

what happens if you cant help any businesses pain points hahahahaha.

fookin pain points. kiss mah ass.

http://www.forbes.com/sites/lizryan/2016/08/09/five-red-flags-that-scream-dont-hire-this-person/2/#509dbd4b7a7a

heh yes she IS “AN HR PERSON” hahahaha. by god these women exist. the woman who just emailed me is definitely one. the one that emails me about county job and sits in at my county job interviews is definitely one. perky, bubbly women that like to be smart college grad young professionals. shit the county hr woman is SIX years OLDER than me and she still looks GOOD! she almost looks younger than ME!

they are usually in good shape. they are usually friendly and have high verbal intelligence. but I would not trust any of these women for ONE SECOND in a Relationship.

they seem like big sluts and catladies who could rationalize anything and eventually lose interest in all but the top 1% of alpha men, probably the Upper Managers and Directors they are working to Source Talent To.

they get bachelors degrees specifically in human resources or communications or Talent Acquisition or Organizational Studies.  sometimes even from rather respectable state schools. second tier schools as opposed to third tier toilets like….. McAllen City State University or something. East Kansas City University. not a tenth tier toilet like Phoenix or something, and really, perfectly fine normie schools which I should have gone to because I could have gotten a god damn full ride scholarship. but i thought, noooooo, i can get into the PRESTIGIOUS school. meanwhile MANY people who went to that “shitty” local university were i could have gotten a full ride, are MUCH MUCH MUCCHHHHHHH more successful than me. at a much younger age hahahaha.

lotta regrets. shoulda done a lot differently. cant believe i wasted at least 33% of my life so far hahahaha.

ok i think i may end up liking the other gris album a bit better, at least early on, than their 2013 album . that bass sound is just too much to handle right now. i need more prominent guitar. and thankfully their singer sounds about as good on this 2007 album too. want something a little more blatantly balck metaly.

and DONT FORGET their 2006 or 5 album “neurasthenie” or something when they were known as niflheim (not to be confused with nifelheim hahahaha)

although 2 hourlong albums in 2 years seems like a lot…..but then they took a 6 year break. i wonder what kind of shitty jobs these guys work hahahaha. do they have degenerate tattoos. do they do drugs or drink. do they cheat on their GFs. are they neet virgins who live with their moms like me hahahahahahahaha.

i was driving yesterday and looked in the rearview and there was a 50 year old white man driving with two dogs in the car and it really looked like he was Smokin a J

good god i folded but if i had stayed in i would have gotten QUADS. 88 hole cards, no 8’s on the flop, and then turn and river were 8 and 8. sheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeit.

anyway he was smokin a J and i got a good feeling from that. because he looked like a total normie and not a huge degenerate. if it were some black thug smoking a blunt, i would think DEGENERATE. GET OUT OF MUH TOWN. or some white trash covered in tattoos. but when it was a normie middle aged white guy, that was ok.

interesting reaction. so is MJ INHERENTLY degenerate? i mean its definitely risky. very few people can smoke it WITHOUT being degenerate. a lot of whites who do smoke it are degen. so i can really ADVOCATE it. except for myself. and for white winners. which i am not!!!!

also smokin it while driving is prob a bad idea. but so many Stoners do just that. smoke and drive all the damn time. I cant BELIEVE this doesnt cause ANY accidents. stoners that would be horrified at drinking and driving smoke and drive EVERY DAY.

IMHO this is wrong. i think it prob does impair your driving. of course i sm0ked and drove a decent number of times. because i was selfish and nihilistic and thought i was above the law and that i’d never get caught, just like i thought when driving DRUNK. and i drove DRUNK many times and eventually was caught. served me right. i shouldnt have driven SO drunk SO many times. but you know when you s0ke a ton of MJ and your heart is racing and it feels like you are running in a dream, quicksand, how can you possibly drive normally.

i mean yeah its probably BETTER for driving than being RAGING drunk. obviously a lot of that DUI stuff is revenue generation for the city and county. and the fines and sentences for DUI should be laxer like they were in the 70s hahahaha. and they should expunge that from your record at least.

hmmm should i go to this opeth show. last time i was going to see them was they were touring with katatonia for the heritage album. that album sucked but i like katatonia and it seemed a good idea to see both bands in this venue with some friends. we got there and it was SOLD OUT before we could get tickets. that was pretty disappointing. shit that was at least 5 years ago.

i never listened to the album they did after heritage but i hear it was a lot better. now they have this new album “sorceress” which isnt even OUT yet.

akerfeldt said some of the record was inspired by luv gone wrong, problems he had with women, but nothing in particular? i was hoping it was something in particular, like a bad breakup with his WIFE, the mother of his children. i know he got married like 10+ years ago and had some kids, but he could be divorced by now.  maybe he is a huge deadbeat and how the hell can he be a good father while touring all the time. but he doesnt tour all the time.  i dunno. i hope he’s not a deadbeat, for the sake of his children. i am sure he is not alt right or racially woke though.

but he is determined enough to make his music his career, and that is NOT easy. he does VERY well. he can support himself and his family.

but 99% of musicians are degenerates! i just want some reassurance that he is a good father, cuz thats all that matters. matters a lot more than any music hes made in the past 15 years hahahahahahaha.

now i remember when damnation came out in 2002 or 03. that was EXCITING. hahahaha.

or spine chilling moments on old albums like orchid or my arms your hearse. for a while i thought my arms your hearse was the best album ever. it is still a great album.

blackwater park. also a great album. no joke.

never did a PHONE interview before. maybe its a german thing. oh yeah its a german company that does tech stuff for cars. infotainment computers and shit. much better than the asians who do a similar thing.  i will work for whites but not yellows hahahaha. speaking of those yellows never called me back for a second interview! i was starting to warm up to the idea of that job.

it would be great to do shitty on the 15 minute phone interview and then never get invited in for an actual interview.

actually 15 minute phone interview, i can see how that could be very useful. you do get a better sense of the person when you are actually talking to them. well…..maybe. maybe. i mean…..do i do better on the phone or in person? i think for interviews…..well shit. when i was doing my old job, taking phone calls, in those circumstances, i would have rather talked to my callers face to face. then i felt they might be nicer to me. but when they are evaluating you for a job….well you want them to be nice too!

but at the same time, i feel the same information you can get from a 45 minute interview can be gotten from a 15 minute phone call. then you feel less pressure definitely.

where are all the fookin entry level 14 dollar and hour fulltime jobs? why does everything have to be a damn big important 40k or 50k job?

where are the ENTRY LEVEL jobs?

this job was described as kind of an entry level job.

fook. my confidence is just pretty low after that clusterfook of 2 bad interviews on one day.

and now i feel like i have crossed the rubicon, that i have officially been unemployed for SO LONG, that i am like CANCER to any employer. they might be able to overlook a gap of 3 months. maybe 6 months. but not a god damn YEAR.

well george feels’s dad got a job after THREE year gap. but he was a Medical Doctor in ukraine hahahaha. was he really a medical doctor tho? and why isnt george smoking legal MJ???

so i will be sitting there in the interview just thinking about THE GAP. talk about a confidence KILLER.

becomes a vicious circle. people wont hire you because the GAP is too long. then you go on interview after interview after interview. get hopes up, get discouraged. 15 interviews. 20 interviews. 25 interviews. 350 applications. 400 applications. 500 applications. 9 months. 12 months. 14 months. 16 months. see what i mean?

instead of getting hopeful, like yep keep plugging away and be determined and good things will happen, power thru those 25 interviews and you will get there eventually…….. those optimistic thoughts begin to be countered with

THE MOTHER OF ALL NEGATIVE THOUGHTS:

THE LONGER YOU STAY UNEMPLOYED, THE WORSE YOU LOOK TO EMPLOYERS.

The LESS of a chance you have to get a job. sure, persistence is good, but not good ENOUGH to cancel out the effect of TIME, the lengthening GAP, making your value WORSE and WORSE and WORSE.

well i guess the REAL mother of all negative thoughts is, i have to K self right now hahahahaha. thank GOD i dont get that.

For me, its more like

I CANT HANDLE THIS I NEED TO QUIT MUH JOB RIGHT NOW

hahahahahahahahahaha.

thats not as bad as k’ing yourself. but you do flush an ENTIRE FOOKING YEAR of you LIFE down the CRAPPER. gone with NOTHING to show for it.

well thats not true. i have done like 40 hours of work on this job search hahahaha.

CORRECTION: i have done 33 hours of job APPLYING fron july 1 to aug 24. that does NOT count time looking for jobs, which DOES take time which i have not measured, and does not measure the 230 jobs before i started The Spreadsheet. ok, thats 230 jobs times 12.6 minutes per application, div by 60 to get hours, well there’s 48.3 hours of applications, plus 33, sheeeit thts like 81 hours of applying since april. well, march 28 i really started. almost 5 months ago hehehehe. 5 months to get 81 hours? WEAK! should be 40 hours a week every week! 160 hours a month!

well im just buttmad that people in 1975 didnt have to put in 80 hours of jobsearching jsut to find an average job.

also lets count 17 hours for 17 interviews hehehehehe. and about 40 hours for FINDING the jobs. so really i am at 137 hours hehehehe.

REALLY I should time my sessions of FINDING the jobs. JUST FINDING, NOT applying. like do it in 30 minute chunks because it is worse than mind numbing, it is mind and soul destroying hahahahaha.

 

 

YOUR SHOT IN THE DARK IS AS GOOD AS THEIR BEST PRACTICES

[ NOV 9 2016::: yep pretty big deal about this election. just enjoying the schadenfreude, taste the tears of shitlib losers hahaha. obviously happy about the YUGE BIGLY victory. we are going to DRAIN THE SWAMP and BUILD THE WALL. glad to see a VINDICATION for FOOKING WHITE MALES. these are MY PEOPLE and I am glad that real everyday Working White people have some Real Political Power. I thought hillary was gonna win so this is a pleasant surprise. the shitlib tears and butthurt is absolutely AMAZING, i LUV it, though wish I knew some more IRL trump fans. and sometimes i do get triggered by the butthurt, esp white males crying about how much white people SUCK, thats very rustling, but you know what, YOU LOST, TRAITOR hahahahaha. there is talk that it was WHITE WOMEN who pushed trump towards victory, if that is true, then that makes me feel a HELL of a lot better about white women. selling out their gender to submit to the white patriarchy. just do me a favor and look at how antiwhite the anti-trump people are. really think about that. there’s nothing you can do, whitey, to keep the left from hating you. you have to become like THAT, and constantly say whites sucks, whites suck, whites suck, for the left to like you.

oh yeah. in case muh READERS were unaware, and I appreciate my 30 followers, THANK YOU!!!! but you HAVE to realize by now, I am a trump supporter, I am a part of the Alt-Right Movement, I am a White Racist, and I am Pro-White and all about The 14 Words: We Must Secure The Existence of Our People and a Future For White Children. I don’t HATE anybody, but I can’t possibly convince anyone of that, and its not worth the effort trying. I mean I HATE that people have become so anti-white!!!!!

But its because its all karma for slavery and oppression the white man has perpetrated, right, so now we have to pay it back, always and forever. karmas a bitch, and it will be SO GREAT when these WHITE PEOPLE are out of power, but we gotta go thru 4 more years of suffering, maybe 8, hahahahaha.

these people are antiwhite as fook and I just cannot accept that. and there are plenty of whites who are like, yeah, but white people DESERVE IT. Whites have done SO much injustice! Whites DESERVE it! hell yeah I’m gonna check my privilege and fight for a world where whites are no longer a majority!

Yeah well I’m not that kind of white and I am happy Our Guy won. Yeah we are definitely projecting a ton of shit onto him, he will probably end up selling out and softening, but i say give him a chance. he tapped into REAL white working class populist shit like no candidate has in my lifetime, and I appreciate that fully. (Plenty of college edumacated white professionals certainly do not!)

anyway enjoy the shitlib tears, you’ll get to enjoy them for the next 4 years, hopefully 8 HAHAHAHAHAHAHA. and if trump ever falters, there will be another to take his place. he’s opened the gate and we will certainly see more blatantly alt-right (pro white) candidates in the future…..and we will NEED them.

BUILD THE WALL, repeal the immigration act of 1965 hahahaha.

you will get moar election related poasts in like june 2017, thats how far behind this thing is.

]

april 29 2016:::

i was listening to the fatherland podcast and they started talking about the Neet Question in such a serious way that it nearly brought a tear to my eye. The host Jim is very good at that, i think he was getting emotional too, as he shared the story of his sad, pathetic, 40 year old neet brother.

https://radio.therightstuff.biz/2016/04/20/the-fatherland-episode-23-the-nq/

I wouldnt mind a whole show talking like this about neets, but yeah it IS really sad and despairing and might even make the tuff marine NO1 cry like a baby when you confront the stark sad reality of it, rather than treat neets like a joke. co host and executive longsuffering produce bradan agrees, that we treat the neet question with too much jest, when in reality, being a neet is GRIM and SAD as FOOK.

but yeah this show is so good, thats the reason i have permalinked in in the sidebar. and the show is just getting better with honest talks such as this.

a 40 year old neet whose life never really moved forward after high school. he is a weirdo with a small world and a small mind and can only play or talk about vidya games. he is too weird to spend much time with his young niece. jim admits some similar tendencies but was able to overcome them and find a good wife and some kind of tolerable job.

believe me, i dont like being a neet at ALL. its HORRIBLE.

but also being at a terrible job is also terrible. its honestly about as bad. the shame of being a neet will seem like a good bargain. in fact i think it still is a good bargain. and i TURNED DOWN a job on a SILVER PLATTER to go back to another call center.

also I learned my lesson, to not even look at her NAME on facebook. I can write her name or talk about her, but to see her actually writing or saying things herself is too much.

yeah shes got a right to exist and i will not infringe that, but I am dead to her, so she should be figuratively irrelevant and invisible to me. its not good for me to SEE her living her life in any way. she’d rather talk to other people than talk to me ever again.

but yeah it sucks to have someone be a good influence on you and you want more of them in your life…..but you are a bad influence on them and they want you out of their life. this is devastating to the self confidence.

in other words I should have not gone to that facebook page where she was likely to post. then I saw the most innocuous post ever from her and was triggered just by her saying 1 sentence to other people. cuz thats more than she would say to me. imagine if her picture showed her face or body or her with a new BF or she was making lots of in depth posts like I do!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

anyway that was yesterday this is today. new day.

its not like i was looking for her. I was looking for Public News Stories about the Job, about the center being SHUT DOWN and about 50 ft jobs being cut in the city. easily the type of thing that could appear in a business news section. i guess I should have known better about clicking on a FACEBOOK page in the google search results.

its like deep down i WANTED to see if her name was there, and when I did see it, I got bad sad fee fees hahahaha. DONT DO THAT!!!!!

damn that TON album slow deep and hard is really good. one of their best. it is arguably more carnivore than TON but I don’t mind. also I don’t find the production as shitty as the band does. I think the production is great, everything sounds great. There is a great arrangement ear for songwriting here. great songs made up of great riffs. almost every song is coverable. yeah ok some parts are stronger than others and one song starts to drag after 9 minutes, but this is all excuseable. Pete’s vocals are very very on point. he is a very good scream/shouter.  the album perfectly captures heartbreak and betrayal and despair and anger and all that. I have just enjoyed the album more and more over the past 17 or 18 years since I first heard it hahahaha wow. I could always come back to this album.

And yeah the goth/rock/fun influences they added on bloody kisses are great too. I enjoy that album greatly too. but SDH has a real edge to it. And some argue that “Der Untermensch” aka “Waste of Life” does not fit the theme…..but DAT RIFF is so good I don’t care. plus it kinda does fit the theme. Often when you are heartbroken the only thing that can get your mind off The Woman, is the idea of how Shitty And Disgusting Other People are, hahaha. Degenerate Deadbeat Parasites, hahaha.

Origin of the Feces is also very good despite its completely degenerate, 3edgy5u cover art. the covers of hey joe and paranoid are outstanding. they even play the waste of life riff once, at a super slow snails pace, which is how I would do my cover of the whole song hahaha. They should have done the whole song like that on OOF. The rearrangements are somewhat hit or miss, but even the “misses” are enjoyable.

i am very good about going to the Gym….but my GOD are the people ANNOYING. they are not intimidating as I once worried, but they are just ANNOYING as FOOK. at this point I crank up the speed or incline and listen to “waste of life” again hahaha. arabs that bathe in cologne. arabs and albanians that speak loudly in arabic or albanian. people talking on their phones loudly. blacks who listen to their rap music and move their arms and legs in an obnoxious “swagger” sort of way as the rap guys say profound, inspiring, admirable, noble, good things about crack and bitches be bitches and dolla dolla bills yall and gettin turnt up on purple drank and banging ratchet white becky bitches and going to the trap house and smoking blunts erry day. shit I would rather be a 40 year old neet virgin hahaha than a degenerate moron.

did I mention the story of the older arab woman who was chattering loudly in arabic and couldnt figure out how to use the treadmill and then turned it up too high and then fell down on the treadmill right next to me. Now I want to help any elderly people regardless of race, but I just froze and couldnt think quickly. now I know that you should just press the stop button on the treadmill hahaha. i stood there like an idiot and quickly a staff member who spoke arabic came rushing up, and i snuck away and went to a treadmill on the other end of the facility.

the staff has been very very good. friendly and professional and I have been nothing but impressed by these decent young people.

or people with stupid tattoos, and attractive young women with skin tight clothing. they dont need to do this.

but overall it has been a good experience because i am exercising reguarly and burning a lot of calories. and putting up with the annoying people. but my god are they fookin ANNOYING. it makes me feel very hateful, like i could never relate to people or make friends or get along with women hahahaha. feel very misanthropic.

but hey it gets my mind off that woman, and it helps me lose weight, so its all good.

also I have definitely made SOME progress in the past 9 months. I dont think about that woman AS much. it IS slooooooooooooooooooowly getting better. so thank GOD for that.

im still not sure what I WANT from her. as in, do I WANT her to contact me and apologize? sort of, but I also WANT her to be with me, and I would use that towards that end, unsuccessfully. get my hopes up again. or be disappointed that she wasnt apologizing well enough, didnt seem to understand. disappointed if she wanted to be just friends, while she fooked guys and lived life and makes money and we went to a much more superficial shallow friendship than we had in the past.

i mean the shit that happened between us is MAJOR and really the only way to get through it would be to have HOURS of conversation about it, and probably for her to wholeheartedly commit to me as a monog long term GF. t show me a lot of luv and support and effort. make time for ME. WANT to spend time with me. dont nag me because you make more money than me.  these are all pretty big things to ask, which she prob wouldnt be willing or able to do.

we’d have to both get back to the level of closeness we had before, in the good times, AND move that forward into a Definite Dating Rel. THAT is what I want, and that is VERY unlikely to happen even if she DOES contact me at some point. at BEST she would give a halfhearted apology, talk about how good she’s doing, and then move on with her successful life after appeasing her guilt with this one small token.

still not ready to return to facebook yet. that will take at least a year hahahah. and really. how useful was facebook anyway? I dont really miss it. I’m kinda glad to be RID of it. stalking people I never talk to, reading peoples bullshit news feeds, comparing myself to them. I very well may NEVER go back to facebook. facebook is a net negative.

all my real friends have my email and phone and I have THEIR email and phone.

I would recommend You All try deactivating your facebook for at least a month or 3 and see how it works for you! It’s been a pretty good thing for me!

trump protestors. what pathetic subhumans hahahaha. i don’t like any of the non trump candidates but Im not gonna fooking PROTEST them. carl the cuck and aids skrillex losers. ARE YOU KIDDING ME RIGHT NOW. WOW. JUST WOW. I CANT EVEN. YOURE A FOOKING WHITE MALE.

shit i give the recruiter a list of thirty names, and they respond with yeah the center closing is not confidential because we already know about it. if you have any referrals id greatly appreciate it.

WTF?!??!?!?!?!?!??!??!!!????!!!???!!!???!!!??!?!?!?!????!!?!?!

you’re making 50 grand a year and this is the level of cluelessness you show?

it’s just been really hard for me to understand people making good money for being clueless, incompetent, and inefficient, in the business world, which is supposed to trim fat and increase efficiency.

they aim to do that on paper…….. but give the surface the SLIGHTEST scratch, and you will find HORRIFYING disorganization and incompetence. managed by a team of college educated managers. its an OBVIOUS DISGRACE the way these companies are run. if their CUSTOMERS saw this, they would RUN AWAY and the company would RIGHTFULLY go out of business. I hate this shit. I guess I have THAT much respect for asshole customers hahaha. i just REFUSE to scam and bullshit people.

I suppose “referral” must mean here is the persons phone number, you can call them, and I’ve gotten express permission from them to have you contact them and say I referred them. I didn’t say this. I wanted to be kept anonymous and really gave them a bunch of “leads” as opposed to “referrals.”

hey I dont know best practices in the recruiting field!

But I guess that makes me just as smart and competent as someone WORKING IN the recruiting field!

You want to hope that people are skilled experts……but you know JUST AS MUCH as the “EXPERTS!”

your shot in the dark is just as good as their best practices!!!!!!!

THEY DONT KNOW THEIR OWN BEST PRACTICES!!!!!!! and they are PAID for this service!!!!!!!

HOW DO THESE COMPANIES SURVIVE?????? AND THEY DO!!!!!!!!

i am VERY frustrated by this.

then you take it too far and start doubting all experts and start becoming anti-science and anti-intellectual. evolution is just a “THEORY” hahahaha. dinosaurs are just a “THEORY”.

but questioning authority is generally a good thing.

it would suck if trump has a heart attack or something. he is like 70 years old, how can he be so high energy all the time. I know he is in great health, but….i mean I just dont want him to overexert himself. he has to live for at least the next 8 years hahaha. he is our only hope hahaha.

questions for potential wife.txt: why don’t you have any respect for human life or the process that creates it?

hahahahaha.

ok took some time to complete a decent application for a university FT clerk job I would be stupid not to apply for.

a few months ago i would have been like noooo the whole application process is too excruciating. but i have come a long way baby. i converted my txt files to doc files this time around, see if that helps.  included link to shiny new linkedin profile.

open office, when you save as a doc file, does not show the god damn date modified whatsoever! so stupid! this is persuading me to try libre office now.

I lost somebody who was important to me in a very hurtful way and it hurt me a lot! and they dont seem to care at all! these facts cannot be denied hahaha. that is the basics of the situation. show some care and concern about me and the good, valuable, important friendship we had!

well i am not the worst neet becuase I care about lifting myself up from neetness. I dont want to be a neet. I apply for jobs and talk to recruiters and take assessments and put on semi nice clothes and shave. I apply for dozens of jobs. I exercise regularly and am successfully losing weight. I care about things other than anime and vidya. I dont like these things at all. all this puts me WAY ahead of the average neet.

but yeah if i had to do a masters degree, it would probably be a psychology related thing to neets and or marriage and relationships. all with a heavy counseling angle.

so you see why I am not chomping at the bit to do a masters degree. there is NO WAY you can make this degree profitable. unless you get into a decent all expenses paid PHD program…..and that is not gonna happen.

it would literally be more profitable for me to work in a call center the rest of my life.

hahahahha some phaggot protester is holding a sign saying TRUMP = NAZI omg hahahaha. this is literally the level of these people. it sounds like a parody but its REALITY.

literally literally literally. heh. get this word out of your vocabulary. you’ve been hanging out with WOMEN too much. fook that shit. dont talk like a WOMAN hahahaha.

come on. WOMEN arent that bad. even SHE wasnt that bad. sure she was a little dumb and annoying when i mattered THE MOST but that doesnt make her a bad person. i just wish she had been better to me, and that she recognizes the error of her ways and asks to BE with me. not gonna happen, hahaha.

fookin recruiters. another jackass bitch from linkedin wanting to recruit for a “technical support ENGINEER” who “enjoys solving complex technical problems.”  this wouldnt be so bad if it didnt mean CALL CENTER where you are forced to cut corners and bullshit people on complex problems just to “handle” the most calls as quickly as possible.

email us back with the exact error code and we will get back to you within 72 hours. even though you told them exactly when and where it happened.

also they tell YOU to be more specific and to give more information……but they are not specific about what information. tell us the line number and your computer properties. COMPUTER PROPERTIES??????

I would ASSUME that what they want is the stuff under “computer properties” when you press shift+pause break. excuse me, win+pausebreak. =  System Information.

normies don’t know how to win+pausebreak and I wouldnt expect them to. I bet SHE didnt know about win+pausebreak.  that INCOMPETENT MORON who didnt DESERVE her job!!!!! hahaha. i only learned about it from an autistic level 1 guy. he loved the shit out of vidya and anime.

MAYBE i could go back to a tech support call center later in life when i have more strength and confidence and toughness, and then actually make some good money. some people actually do make a good living in this field. like she is shaping up to be one of those people. i was shaping up to be one of those people until i had my breakdown. because of HERRRRRRR hahahaha. no because of my Inability To COPE with Herrrrrrrrrrr.

unsuccessfully coping with the natural beauty of being thrown away like a piece of garbage hahahaha

thats a TON reference

(type o negative)

see I think my jokes are funny but you kinda need other people to think the jokes are funny in order for them to be REALLY funny.

literally funny.

its not funny if NO ONE GETS the joke.

ok libre office documents show the date modified. that settles it. i am switching over.

shit i cant believe i looked at porn in november hahahah. that brings my streak back to under 6 months.

actually its techincally less since i saw some SLUT on TUMBLR in like february…….but I eventually forced myself to stop looking at that and didnt Jerk Off to the dirty degenerate fatherless whore spreading her cvnt and asshole to the whole world and calling it erotic art.

heh. anti hillary and anti bernie protesters are not as degenerate and uncouth and barbaric as these disgraceful anti trump protestors. just fooking riff raff.

yeah it would have been so nice to have a normie relship with a woman i really liked and really got along with. i have not cuddled with a gurl in like 11 years, havent had good heterosexual fun in 11 years. the closest was a retarded very random drunken make out session with a random drunk gurl a little over 10 years ago, but even that was a big dropoff in fun from the 11 years ago action. that (the 11 years one) was with some bitch i was in luv with…..but we didnt actually KNOW each other or really get along with each other, they way I did with woman2015. it just felt really good to have a cute gurl making out with me rubbing against muh d hahahaha. you get harder than you ever could to porno.

and if i could have done that with HER, it would have been even better. cuz we had something REAL hahaha.

it just sucks that she has experienced being in a rel for 5 years, and me for never more than 3 shitty months hahahah.

so when we had a good 2 year friendship, that meant a lot to me. thats a LOT to get from a woman. for me. women usually want nothing to do with me, and i want nothing to do with them. a total mgtow hahahaha.

i mean i dont want random secs, i want a rel. and in a way, i did have a rel with her. so its no surprise i got deep feelz for her.

those other gurls i made out and cuddled and fell in luv with…..we never had a real rel. I had a more real rel with That Woman. and a real rel means a lot to me.

All Yall Bitches an Hoes just cannot understand this and need it severely Mansplained haha.

Men understand Relationships and Luv much better than Women do.  Such a shame men need women to have a Hetero RElationship hahahahaha.

no not all women are so incompetent at relationships. in fact SHE was VERY competent in OTHER relationships! she just didnt want to be competent with ME! i’m not even TALKING about her wanting a rel with me! I’m talking about her wanting to be COMPETENT with me!

its not fair to her and really not fair to me either to blame it on her being a dumb whore…..because shes not. i purposely stay away from dirty whores. i am DONE with dirty whores and refuse to associate with that filth. you see too much of that, and you begin to think all women are like that, and thats how you become a true woman hater.

she was not a dirty whore but she STILL hurt me deeply. just a difficult, sad, tough situation with no easy answers hahahaha. well other than i need to be more assertive and timely with my communication. just take charge of shit and not let it get out of hand.

why dont companies give good training to their employees?

because it costs too much money!

why dont companies give good service to their customers?

because it costs too much money!

now you’re getting it!!!!!!

believe me i am not anti-business!!!!! and i say fook “corporate social responsibility!” but i say companies should have a responsibility to train their employees to provide GOOD service to their customers!

just run a business like a good decent honest white man would! thats it!!!! and that really IS too much to ask.

its really not too much to ask to ask women to be decent and mature people. i dont want this event to make me think that all women are horribly immature and cant act responsibly in a relationship.  they just never have with ME hahahaha.

well thats not even true. the sluts i never even really knew treated me more responsibly and maturely than the woman I Truly Knew did.

oh well. just find some damn dirty whore because thats all women are anyway.

NO RESPECT FOR HUMAN LIFE OR THE PROCESS THAT CREATES IT.

Well maybe they respect human life……..just not the process that creates it.  thats acceptable right?

NOPE.

because its a slippery slope to not respecting human life period. getting abortions and cheating and lying and screwing and j00ing and abandoning and betraying.

they dont understand this though.

I guess they dont need to udnerstand it, as long as they dont Act like whores and do all those horrible things. actions speak louder than understanding or not understanding hahahaa.

also they might not UNDERSTAND it but they still have a solid moral code that says “casual sex is gross and I Just Don’t Do That.” that’s MORE than good enough for me hahahaha.

Casual Sex to me is when you know the guy less than two months before fooking them. Shit I would LIKE at least SIX months, but if you were to look at the Distribution Curve…..you’d probably find a Big Hump at like ONE month.

we need to bring that up to six months, at least.

sex before two months, abortions, cheating, these bitches have no guilt or shame about these things.

hahahaha.

she probably felt SOME guilt about the way she dumped me, rightfully so. she just probably got OVER that guilt a LOT quicker than I got over the pain and got over her. I want the pain of guilt for her to be at LEAST 50% of the pain I felt from being Walked Out On by an Important Person.

not 100, not 90, just 50. i take responsibility for 50% of my feelings hahahahahahahaha.

also, if she had TRIED, she could have saved me 10% of my pain, at least. it doesnt sound like a lot……but 10% of a billion dollars is still a LOT of money. so she would have saved me a LOT of pain, and i would have APPRECIATED it a LOT. I would have been a LOT less bitter.

this was a very SAD thing and I was/am very BITTER as well as sad.

yeah i will get over it all, it will just take a LONG time and she could have helped make that time shorter with just a LITTLE effort on her part. show ANY effort. a LITTLE effort is a LOT better than NO effort.

also it would have been nice if, as a part of quickly getting over her guilt, she did SOMETHING, made a GESTURE of penance and amends as part of appeasing that guilt.

i mean if she did that now….well i would just ask her, is there any chance you would want to go out with me. yes or no. NOT i dont know. if theres a chance lets try it. if theres not, tell me NO. not MAYBE. if maybe, lets just try it. like you dont fook guys you know less than two months hahahaha you cvmhungry whore. cvmgry.

i am indecisive and dont know on alot of stuff. confused and unsure and on the fence. but when it comes to the women i luv, i am All In for Them. of that there is no doubt. certainly I have never been on the receiving end, but I would like a woman to give me a CHANCE for more than 2 or 3 months hahahaha. how can I not even last 3 months. that is a bit humiliating. theyd rather get their ass pounded by swarthy strangers than hang out with ME. you start to develop an inferiority complex. like you arent Cool or Sexy or Exciting or Manly enough for Women.

heh. at this point i dont care that the women from 11, 12 years ago are WAY more successful than me. And one day I will not care that woman2015 is way more successful than me hahaha. I do wish I were a little more successful though. successful enough to pull a decent woman ahahaha.

and i found a decent woman and we were good friends for a long time wawawawawawawa. and then it ended in the worst way ever wawawawwawa.

hahahahaha i was more than cool enough for her until i started liking her hahaha. then that was just GHASTLY and ABOMINABLE and HORRIFYING to her. ABSOLUTELY DISGUSTING. thanks i appreciate that hahaha.

fookin .05/.10 holdem hahahaha. getting into the big leagues now.  this is about 2 to 4 cents. when i sit down with a 10.00 chip stack that is about $4.54 USD.

heh. well maybe in january 2017 my state will have legal w33d and i will be getting blazed all the time hahahahaha. like that is a good thing.  then i would fail all these goddamn drug tests.

i mean when an important person in your life goes away, it leaves a VOID. i wouldnt mind filling that void. sometimes smoking MJ is a way you can filled various voids. probably not a good thing though.

i am just mad she can handle a grown up job and make good money. yes it is discouraging to have women who reject you also make more money than you and be more career successful than you. whatever happened to the wage gap. i thought men were supposed to make more than women. and if you are a man who is very bad at making money, you will be considered invisible or repulsive by women. I mean she is 8 years younger than me and makes 3 dollars an hour more than I am looking for!!!!

when a MUCH younger WOMAN makes a LOT more money than you…..that is humiliating. especially when she has rejected you extremely harshly.