JUST BECAUSE YOU HAVE TO COMPROMISE DOESNT MEAN YOU HAVE TO LIKE IT

jan 3 2017

first day back to little boy virgin job hahahaha. well, its INFINITELY better than not working. INFINITELY. LITERALLY.

also stopped by bakery before job and bought some donuts and pastries and eclairs and danishes and cookies and such. the bakery is well regarded and the sweets were indeed good and they open at 6:30 am. i will try to do this about…..once a month. spent 6 dollars. going every week would be tryhard. hard to do donuts at my last job because there were like 50 people in the office. it was best if you brought in 2 dozen donuts. kind of a big deal.  here, much smaller office. bringing in 6 donuts is more than enough. so its a cheap value added way to Buy Goodwill hahahahahahaha.

went to bed yesterday at 8 pm, i think that was just about right. might even do 730pm today. my body LITERALLY needs 9 hours of sleep a night. thats just how much the world takes out of me hahahaha. on the easiest day. actually it doesnt matter if i have an easy day or a hard day, i still need 9 hours regardless.  i could do a fooking triathalon or sit and neckbeard all day. doesnt matter. 9 hours. of sleep.  kinda weird. already Yawning at 420 pm hehehehe.

was talking to “client/customer” today and he asked me a very direct question about muh education, he was not being rude or even prying, this guy just likes to ask direct questions about things I don’t like to give direct answers to. like he was fishing for opinions about TRVMP and I wanted to appear impartial so I said my standard nonpartisan answer about interesting times, and polarized bla bla, he said he was pretty much pro-trump, i was with my colleague who is unfortunately anti-trump but I try to disregard that because she (naturally, a woman) is also very accomplished and smart and i respect her brain and actually quite like her. it would of course be better if she were pro trump. she doesn’t know im pro trump and i dont really want to let ANYBODY know hahahaha. keep my cover.

well i can just say i am a Political Moderate and Honestly Guys I Am A Centrist and don’t go in for real Leftist Stuff, however I don’t think we’ve had a good Republican Candidate since……..i dunno reagan. I would be a total Reagan Democrat guys.

when this is total BS, I am a Far Right Hwyte Nationalist and cant wait for TRVMP to build a 1488 foot high wall and deport all illegals immediately. its january 3rd, why are there still illegals and blacks? hahahaha. I want to travel to far-right meetups in my free time and do Roman Salutes hahaha.

of COURSHE you dont talk about THOSE things, and of course you soften it and say i’m a moderate, im a centrist, and be thankful i’m in a place where Centrists won’t get frowned upon as being Too Far Right!!!!!!

ANYWAY the direct guy hit me with that question, well regarding the Super High Prestige University I went to, and my one coworker was right there, and they probably didnt know about this, and im like, great, if i say i went to this prestigious middle class uni, then i look like i’m a HUGE LOSER because im making 13k a year here instead of being a fooking grad degree executive manager making 100k a year like everyone else in muh uni class hahahahaha. i am 9 times less successful than the people i went to school with.

but the guy i was talking to was very sympathetic, he wasn’t trying to be mean, and in fact, so will most people. most people arent looking for ways to attack me, they just like asking direct questions, which is something i DONT like doing to people, but i need to get better at it. anyway i spilled the spaghetti and stammered like a retarded subhuman hahaha.

but anyway i brought donuts and yeah people here like to stay in shape and aren’t huge fatasses believe it or not. these people with their masters degrees, they tend to be in better shape hahahaha. they watch what they eat, and go to the gym, and maintain a Normal Healthy Weight even into their 40s hahahaha. youhave to be really SMART to do this apparently. no you really DONT.

so i ate 2 of the ridiculous donuts. i mean there is some rich custard shit in there.

but overall i felt more confidence as the day went on, it was not severely damaged by that moment, and i dont think it SHOULD be.

but yeah its why i would not be a good salesman. because i dont make an electrifying first impression. it takes me a few weeks hahahaha. and many people dont have that LUXURY of TIME and MONEY to give you a few WEEKS to prove you arent an idiot.

but here they arent judging me like that! they werent even really judging me like that at the old place either.

QUOTE

Just talk to him. Unfortunately this is how my relationship ended. I became clingy, not because it’s my nature, but because a previous relationship crafted me to be. I became an insecure idiot and the whole situation brought on anxiety that I didn’t want.
Perhaps he has anxiety? Who knows.
One thing I wouldn’t recommend is texting him saying “Hey, I think we need space” or “We need a break”. I mean you can, but be prepared for a barrage of text messages. If he truly has relationship anxiety, then everything is out of good intentions, but it will overwhelm you and just cause the whole situation to spiral the hell out of control.
My advice. If he’s harmless and has no anger issues. Just TALK to him. Tell him it’s bugging you. Tell him you like your space, that it’s not personal and that you’re not breaking up with him, just that a human being needs time to themselves, that’s all. Sit down and have a talk. See if he really has anxiety because it sounds like he does. Assess that situation and then go from there. See if it’s something that you want to deal with.
People with anxiety don’t text you all the time because they’re clingy, it’s because you don’t reply (granted it can only be like 30 min) and they feel like they said something wrong. The constant need to be around you isn’t a lack of trust or anything either, it’s his need of wanting to know you’re still there. It’s a weird thing and most people hate it, but you need to talk to him, in person, about EVERYTHING before it gets worse for the both of you.
If he continues to act the same way after that, then ask for a break since he’s not willing to change.

END

good point reddit

well you can also be anxious that somebody will leave you for any moment without warning and do a 180 and leave you in the lurch hahahaha.

how about you just dump him by ghosting. that would solve your problem real quick.  show that creepy abuser evil person how evil, creepy, and abusive he is, maybe he can K himself, he really SHOULD!!!!! for being such a horrible person!

hehehe i pretty much had this situation. looks like i was a bona fide creep then hahaha. i still had to finish 1 year of college though. and she had to finish 1 more year of high school. and she had been with like 10 guys and had many bf’s, and i had been ith 0 gurls and had 0 gf’s.

she was secsually WAY more mature than i was, and relationship wise. she had slutted it up with many guys, and also had several monog LTRs. certainly experienced more of Life than I had.

i was pretty immature, i was only marginally more “mature” than she was.

and i never tried to manipulate or control or groom or control or isolate or abuse or bully her, and she lost interest in me and dumped me hahhahahaha.  no i didnt isolate and control her and then end up cheating on her hahahaha. she would have had to have hung out with me a lot more and use have much moar secs and be officially dating for me even to have a chance at manipulating her, hahahahahaha. not that i would.

hmmm 2300 calories today, almost 1000 over. unbelievable. not doing too good this year hahahaha. well, better to be working than to be losing weight i guess, so if gaining weight is the price i pay for Working, then i guess its worth it hahaha. not like i am banging any beotches anyway.

hey dont scold me, they’re the ones who bang on the first date. i think its fooking disgusting. but its what they want. what they like. i dont like it. i would prefer not to do it. but youhave to COMPROMISE in order to have relships, casual or not.

JUST BECAUSE YOU HAVE TO COMPROMISE DOESNT MEAN YOU HAVE TO LIKE IT.

of COURSE ill do it. i havent had secs in 12 years, so if a gurl offers it, i’ll do it, because it might be ANOTHER 12 years before i get another chance. but it doesnt mean i cant resent her for giving it up too fast and not being an ideal pure waifu who waits 3 months before secs! treats the life creation process with the respect it deserves, and treat human life and the process that creates it with the utmost DIGNITY!!!!!

kinda stupid that btc keeps rising. and rising. shit im GLAD i got all out before this hahahaha. i dont TRUST somethign this unstable hahahaha.

jan 4

yep all ready to go here just killing time, reading email. went to bed early, but woke up at like 1:30 am and was awake for liek 80 minutes with stuffy nose, congestion, some worrying, tossing and turning, Thirsty (wanting water to drink.)

trying not to worry about constantly proving myself and impressing people. but in life you DO need to impress peopel. you dont get second chances. sure not with women! yeah well they gave me one chance with the interview for this job and that was good enough for them.

well you know my degree might have been worthless but it was actually related to my “passion” of helping neets with despair, anxiety, and relships. well ok thats like 4 careers there. gotta pick one. was thinking i would prob lean towards relships at this point. become a relship counselor.

trying to come up with believable excuses why i didnt get a masters degree like everyone else hahahaha. because i felt it was too expensive, not worth the ROI, and also i didn’t network too well in uni.

cuz if i say i was immature, and i was, well didnt I GET more mature in the next 10 years? NOT REALLY!!!! well why not?? because i couldnt get and keep a bigboy job hahahaha.

jan 4

1132 bitcoin? ARE YOU FOOKING KIDDING ME? i remember when it was 900 not 2 weeks ago.

so my main issue by far is having conversations with people without flipping out. not panicking, but always being slightly anxious about everything i say sounding stupid or wrong, even if its just small talk about families or something. even though i know these are nice people who want to be nice to me. so i disappoint them by not coming out of muh “shell.” and i want to come out of the shell but just having a hard time. so i try to show good will by smiling and forcing myself to talk even though it sounds AWKWARD and STUPID. I know there are worse things in life than feeling awkward. i have felt awkward nonstop for like the past 20 years hahahaha. its not a huge deal, its not near as bad as despair, which is not nearly as bad as dread/panic/fear/worry/anxiety.

DAB? in swearing in ceremony with paul ryan? wtf is dabbing? i thought it was VAPING MJ. Thats the only dabbing if ever heard of. wax or shatters or hash oil or really concentrated thc juice that you get blazed off one puff of the vaporizer. shit i dunno. i dont do that shit either. here i thought the kid was smoking drugs while his father was getting sworn into congress.

no turns out its just some negro dance move.

had 15 mL half dose of nyquil at around 3pm. will have some dayquil right before bed so i dont wake up in the damn middle of the night.

welp only managed to do 180 calories over today ehehehehe.

was in the office today and this younger rather attractive woman from related department was in. I noticed her immediately when i first saw her shortly after i first started. learned she was married and had at least one young child. well good for her. but she is def younger than me and def still very attractive hehehehehe. i wanted to learn more about her job and resume hahaha. today i learn she has an MBA hahahaha. prob not the kind of MBA you get from a top 10 business school, but the kind you get from phoenix hehehehehehe. still you can get a good middle class career job with that though.

basically life for everyone is HARD. on HARD MODE. you have to be TOUGH. i was pretty much SPOILED and had life put on EASY MODE for me. and i STILL fooked it up. and so now facing the real hard world, it seems even HARDER for me than it does for normies! I’m going into hard mode having grown up on easy mode!

but yeah i havent been in a position lately where i have to try to Justify, Argue, Defend, and Explain why i did not get a Graduate Degree. Because I’m Lazy. Because I’m Crazy! and you can’t say this kind of shit to coworkers or customers because that makes you look incompetent, stupid, etc. so, you just say….i didnt want to. cuz i didnt really WANT to. i’m allowed to say i didnt WANT to! cuz i didnt really want to. i just felt pressure and expectations like i was SUPPOSED to. similar to how i am feeling now. but those pressures aren’t necessarily all real, just me thinking what other people think!

i mean i cant just say its not worth it without showing myself as character flawed. if there daughter who is 9 years younger than me can get a masters degree right after undergrad and then quickly move from 70k job to 70k job with a masters degree, so can anyone, including me. i just wasnt willing to work hard enough!

GREAT GAME here, this guy is out with his GF and points to another girl and says t the gf, “see that gurl? GOALS.”  implying that gf needs to lose weight hahahaha.

SEE THAT GURL? GOALS.

omg that is the most alpha thing ever said. that gf is bending over and getting fooked hard tonight!

me with anybody and we see a successful middle class normie with a masters degree and they say to me, see that normie? GOALS. as if I never had goals.

well i really didnt tho hahahaha. i never wanted to WORK.

yeah well im going to WORK now hahahaha. i dont plan on missing a day ever. i get there early every day and leave late every day. i answer email after muh shift. i sometimes do work after muh shift from home. i have a pot of coffee almost all made by my official start time. i bought a tub of coffee. i bought some fancy pastries from a fancy bakery. i wear dress shoes and try to dress like a business casual normie. I try to write good emails hahahaha.

Furthermore, I am worried that someone who is so comfortable around guys to sleep with them on the first date cannot be trusted while we try to move our relationship forward.

YASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS THANK YOU. this is what all the women who defend this shit sluttiness always fail to notice. if its SO EASY for her to do such a BIG thing with a total stranger, what other big things will be so easy for her to do? things that may hurt you or break your heart?

WHY IS SEX NOT A BIG DEAL FOR WOMEN??????

Apart from the fact that they can get preggers…..i mean….all the naked genitals! doesnt this SEEM like an intimate activity? did it ever OCCUR to them to feel HESITANT about this? yeah, when they were a virgin at age 14 or whatever.

GOALS.

hey im not even interested in meeting new women. (well, kinda i am hahaha. ) but im not serious about actually DOING it. im just trying to survive ONE DAY AT A TIME. also im not even worthy of being in a rel because IM NOT AN ADULT. IM TERRIBLE AT ADULTING. I AM A CHILD WHO CANT EVEN HANDLE WORKING 40 HOURS A WEEK hahahaha. THIS IS THE BARE MINIMUM OF NORMIE MATURE ADULTHOOD.

 

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HAPPY NEW CURRENT YEAR

 

dec 31 2016

wish saor hadnt shut down the idea of playing moar live shows. i guess its a lot of trouble for him and not worf it. well just play 2 shows a year instead of 4 shows hahaha. dont go on tour ever. just play one off shows every 4,5,6 months. imho he is too good to not play live. also the music is pretty good Live Music because its pretty epic.

great guy this Andy Marshall. Man of the month. probably man of the q4 hahaha. His music gives me feels I didnt even think were possible. reaches me in a way i didn’t think new music even COULD, my heart was closed off to new music. but he has broken through this icebox. GOD BLESS HIM hahahaha.

how did it take me until 2016 to discover this guy. he has been releasing albums every year since like 2009 hahahaha. highly regarded albums.

well, saor has only really been A Thing since 2013.

heh. pulled the trigger and bought the SAOR Guardians shirt

https://saor.bandcamp.com/merch/guardians-t-shirt

which was like 25.33 us dollars. dont want to spend money like a damn negro but…..i think i am ready to go all in with muh boifran andy marshall here. i didnt think new music could reach me but he proved me wrong. keep up the good work lad, heres some money for a sweet tshirt.

go buy one yourself and for your alt right waifu at the link above.

note: saor is not explicitly alt right and is probably horrified and disgusted by white racism like my own. HOWEVER his beautiful MUSIC embodies everything great about huhwhytes. this is exactly what i mean when i say that black metal is inherently huhwhyte. i dont even think you can say “implicit” because it’s a little bit more than merely implicit!!!

i wrote him a 300 character message kissing his ass and cupping his scottish balls about how great and inspirational his music is. because it really kind of IS.

AND he is playing shows in 2017. glad on that. i know shows can be a pain in the ass, but his stuff is too good for him not to play 1 show a year on his own terms. so far he has 3 shows lined up for july. dont want him to burn himself out but this is probably the best time of year for shows. DONT BURN YOURSELF OUT LAD.

of course i love that he is SCOTTISH. and that i was specifically looking for Scottish Atmospheric Epic Black Metal, and he delivered EXACTLY what I was looking for, and THEN SOME. he SURPASSED my expectations when 99.9% of music comes in WAY BELOW my minimal expectations. WEWLAD.

go give him your money hahahahaha. encourage him to make babies with scottish gurls.

that feel when you steal a glimpse of the private parish Prayer List and discover YOU are on there for being “unemployed for 1 and half years.” YIKES. alongside everyone else who is DYING OF STAGE 4 TERMINAL CANCER. pancreatic cancer, stomach cancer, colon cancer, brain tumors, brain cancer, lung cancer, the whole 9 yards. I am surprised the parish is even still around, because it seems like every WEEK 2% of the parish DIES OF CANCER. its insane. looking at this list, it’s like 50% of the parish has CANCER.

and to think i’m right up there with muh 1.5 years of unemployment. hopefully they take me off the list now that i’ve gotten a 13k a year job! hahahaha.

it doesnt feel that serious but in a way it IS that serious. you’re a grown adult, this is what you HAVE to do. make 25k a year or its as bad as terminal cancer.

and I like pity and sympathy, but that almost seems like too much! and i believe in the power of prayer……but i also recognize that its DESPERATE as hell! and i would like to not be that desperate…..but I AM!!!!! and I have become comfortable with my desperation. its become a laughing matter! shit yeah i’m so desperate for a job or a woman that I will take the bottom of the barrel! I’m literally HOPELESS fam, i am beyond all help, better take me to damn LOURDES, i literally need a MIRACLE. there is nothing humans or myself can do to help my situation, i need a damn MIRACLE from GOD.

in a way its like people have thrown up their hands and said “i just dont know what to do anymore. Ive tried everything and im so close to giving up.”

i should have not looked at the damn list. its a private list, not like anybody can see it. and i was on the second page. if i just looked at the first page, never would have seen it.

oh well. that happened. and hopefully within 1 month i will be off the list of desperate dying hopeless people.

new years eve. auld lang syne. thats a SCOTTISH thing. robert burns. RESPECT!

no im not scottish at all, but they are one of my favorite white ethnicities hahahaha. i mean i like ALL whites but some get special recognition by me hahahaha. for me its poles, in some ways all slavs, scands, and now scots. i suspect it will be a lifelong journey of appreciation as i come to appreciate each kind of white in due course.

bought the large tshirt, not extra large, as motivation to keep my body at a large tshirt size. dont want to go back to extra large body!!!!!!

gonna maybe try to “clean up” that live saor thing above with audacity esp for the benefit of the song which comes from his album “roots”…………….which uses a damn drum machine. but the live show is the guy who played on the “guardians” album. plays in this other scottish black metal band with a damn gaeldighd name hahahahaha. that is quite longer than “saor.”

there is another saor live show where they are wearing KILTS, good job lads.

another full show. not sure which one will have better sound. my intuition says the indoor show but i could be wrong. like maybe too much sound bouncing off walls, and outdoors it dissipates.

great guy, yeah ill gladly jerk him off hahahahahahaha. mancrush o clock.

wolves in the throne room, playing show in dec 2016. i thought they were done. i totally respect their music. i totally disrespect their communist, leftist, antiwhite ideology. its such dissonance to get antiwhite ideology with such huhwhyte sounding MUSIC. because for me, its another great of example of Black Metal Is Inherently White Music. but these shitlibs would lecture you for 60000000000000000 hours on why that is so problematic and wrong.

ANYWAY, i think this is a good way to play a show when you dont want to emphasize Your Personal Celebrity. just dim the fook out of the lights so you cant really see their faces.

like MGLA for example plays in these ridiculous hoods. i totally get what they are trying to say………i just think it would be hot and sweaty and uncomfortable as fook to wear that shit in a 100 degree club. just turn down the lights, dim the lights, use blue lights, and nobody will be able to see your face anyway.

later.

welp. lost my 4.00 chip stack at the tables hahaha. thats usually a good sign for me to quit for the day. but because its NYE, i am back in for 4. heheheh. i am not a good gambler. i am down 130 dollars over the past 3 years on Poker Alone. not terrible for 3 years, only lose 43 dollars a year hahahahaha. but uhhh obviously making 1 dollar a year would be much much much better. i am LOSING OVER THE LONG TERM. when i should be winning. even the SMALLEST amount. 1 dollar a year. i can’t even make 1 dollar a year. i made 150 dollars a year on goddamn mTurk.

janu 1

holy shit, patreon just jsut down emily youcis for being pro-white. well….the page is just 404. but i KNOW thats what happened.

https://twitter.com/realemilyyoucis?lang=en

yep thats exactly what happened. maybe twitter will be next.

so in retaliation i sent her a d’nation on paypal.

found my “anonymous alt right” paypal was giving me same error sending to her, as when i tried sending to TRS a few days ago. thought hmm maybe the problem is me.

signed in with my NORMIE, DOXXED, REAL NAME paypal and the donation went though JUST FINE.

PAYPAL HAS SHUT DOWN MY PRIVATE ANON ACCOUNT, FORCING ME TO USE MY REAL NAME.

I do not like that at ALL. How dare they shut ME down just because I wanted to use an anon name with my normie credit card.  I trust Emily Youcis will not dox me, but its just the principle of the matter.

anyway you can find her paypal gmail address on the internet and it works as of today.

Hello Emily, sorry about the pathetically low amount. I just signed up to your (((((Patreon))))) in December, and it’s a shame what they did to that. Hope you find a nice goy husbando and have 1488 babies. Contact me if you have any trouble with that. . . . . . . . . but you shouldn’t. One great thing about Women in the Movement is that I think Women can speak to other Women very well and encourage wholesome, moral behavior among other women. Please get on Daily Shoah or Fatherland. Please record talks with Andrew Anglin and Weev. Please do not become a dumpster fire like Sinead, hahahahahaha. HAPPY NEW CURRENT YEAR!!!!! – alt right pseudonym (please no dox, I think Paypal has SHUT DOWN my “anonymous” account)

here’s the message i sent to HWYTE HWYFU EMILY with my generous 6.16 d’nation hahahahaha.

good lord. bitcoin STILL going up. 993. probably hit 1000. damn. welp, i dont have any more to sell. the end.

YUGE PROTIP LIFEHACK: instead of wearing your scarf wrapped “horizontally” around your neck, wear it “vertically” wrapped about your entire head! so it covers your neck, parts of your face, your ears. makes SO MUCH SENSE and I NEVER thought of it until I saw an old movie on TCM where a guy was wearing a scarf like that.

I am HORRIBLE at stuff like that. thinking outside of the box. unknown unknowns. because i had never seen anyone IRL wearing a scarf like that, so I never even THOUGHT of wearing my scarf like that until I saw it in a random MOVIE.

its REALLY fookin shady that paypal is doing SOME sort of restriction on my alt right account, BUT HASNT SAID ANYTHING TO ME AT ALL. no emails to any of the emails I used with that account, no messages when I log fooking in. At least when WordPress shuts me down they put an unmissable message on my dashboard hahahahaha. and then it is only for going over 99 scheduled poasts hahahahahah. im actually surprised they havent shut me down for “h8 speach”.

but yeah nothing from paypal. no notifications, no messages, just errors whenever i try to send that give no indication of the nature of the error. no doubt they have put me on a list so that i pretty much HAVE to contact them to find out what is going on. flagged. absolutely nothing. the ball is in my court, they are WATCHING me, waiting for me to make the first EXPLICIT move to their more implicit move. DAMN.

yep there it goes, bitcoin just went over 1000!!!!!!! jan 1 2017

anyway. i guess 2016 was a better year than 2015!

yeah it really was.

went the whole year without contacting That Woman.

Went the Whole Year without intentionally looking at Porn. Essentially Quit Porn in Oct 2015 or so.

Lost 35 pounds in 2016.

Got New Job in 2016.

I mean 2016 wasnt GREAT because I was still a jobless neet for 88% of the year.

but it was better than 2015, where I actively had a meltdown/breakdown. Lost That Woman, Lost Muh Job, was so devastated I could barely move. that was 2015. so yeah, 2016 was a LOT LOT LOT better than 2015.

end of 2015, i was BARELY getting over that woman AT ALL.

end of 2016, I was WELL OVER HALFWAY there hahahaha.

something about going through a FULL YEAR without them. january thru december. definitely made real progress.

uh i was good about going to Gym for some of the year, until it got nice outside, then i just went outside. i was actually really good about going to the Gym for the last 3 months of 2015 actually.

was shitty as fook in 2015 about jobsearching. in 2016 I got a lot lot lot better and did 99% of my jobsearch. and eventually got a job before the end of the year. THANK GOD.

uhh accomplished some decent stuff with muh mint personal finance in the last few years of 2016, just being more descriptive with categories, painting a more detailed picture of income and expenses, when i had kinda forgotten about mint for a while. but its really pretty good.

so yeah even though i was pretty much in a Rut for most of 2016….it was still better than 2015. 2015 in general being worse than 2014 hehehehehe. 2015 was a REAL bad year. relative minimum. good to have an….OK year after that. and HOPEFULLY 2017 is better than 2016 cuz i will be working. and hopefully not gaining 35 pounds. or melting down.

sheeeeeit i think i am getting a PRE-COLD. beginnings of swelling and irritation in the throat.  why couldnt i get this a few days ago. didnt even go out and socialize for NYE. watched the degenerates on TV and said get a room, you degenerate phaggots. why dont you just do a gangbang in times square, you degenerate cvm guzzling wh0re.

this is how i always worried i would feel about a woman if i were ever to get a GF. yet i savagely bash women for when they feel this way with a man, the unknown feeling that something doesnt feeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeel quite right, i dont feeeeeeeel haaaaaappppy, and i dont know what it is.

well because i saw women as having terrible intuition and horribly unrealistic expectations, who would dump a Good Man for the shittiest reasons.

and I saw myself as having realistic standards, yet still settling for less out of desperation. and just suffering through a boring, unsatisfying relship because i thought that’s what reality was supposed to be.

when really reality is somewhere in the middle. you SHOULD feel a Honeymoon Period at least for your GF, and she should feel the same for you. after 18 months tops this feeling goes away.

well, for me i could see it lasting 18 months, for women it usually lasts no more than 3 months. but they still get it.

I had that fear ever since i was like 16. then I finally got Honeymoon Feelings for a real woman when I was 20. then another women when i was 21. then another 2 women when i was 22. then another woman when i was 23. then another woman when i was 24. then another woman when i was 26 or 27. then another woman when i was 31. and thats all folks hahahahahahahaha.

so yeah basically yeah i am allowed to have some sort of intuition about a woman, which grants her the right to have some sort of intuition about me, about men, about a relship. but i just think that my intuition is right while theirs is way way way wrong and entitled and unrealistic and stupid.

but the reality is, Honeymoon Phase IS real and I am entitled to expect it with a GF/Waifu, esp if i experienced it with those other sluts hahahaha.  and yeah fine i concede that women are entitled to a honeymoon period of their own. honeymoon period is a standard thing of standard relships.

of course the phag enablers jump on it as a chance to proselytize gayness.

oh dear lord. monty python holy grail. honestly a great classic movie you should watch with your waifu. i have made parallels to my Previous job before, like the two guards in the castle tower with prince herbert, misunderstanding simple instructions.

ok how about when arthur talks to the crazy cackling old man, seek ye the bridge of death, and arthur is increasingly more direct in trying to gain confirmation: this cave, does it lead to the bridge? the bridge, does it lead towards the HOLY GRAIL, yes or no? and the old man just cackles and disappears. kinda reminds me of dealing with my superiors when i was trying to get help from them. I was trying to think 3 steps ahead and trying to pull teeth out of them, imagining possible unknown unknowns, and they would just leave me hanging.

in their defense i dont think they did it intentionally or were jolly about it. they were all run ragged just like me.

anyway. when you have to dump somebody you just dont feeeeeeeeeeeel right with, you BETTER take YUGE pains to dump them as gently and kindly as possible, because they will be DEVASTATED. also, don’t cavalierly mention how they came BEGGING to have you back YEARS later, like this one bitch in the thread mentions. yeah, because you broke his poor heart and he couldnt live without you and you did a SHITTY job of dumping him! RESPECT HIS PAIN!!!! dont just say, oh yeah im so great guys are devastated when i dump them and come BEGGING for me YEARS later, but i know to say no again because it just doesnt FEEEEEEEL Right. its exactly these kind of women that give a bad name to womens intiution and something not feeling right.

basically it was that same feeling that told me i was Really In Luv with a woman. that i had gone all in with her. that made me gamble everything for a chance with her. went all in and lost. i dont blame or hate them. i got over it all. but just saying. i dont want to NOT have that feeling for muh waifu. Honeymoon Period, Infatuation……or TRVE LUV. whatever you want to call it. I dont think it cheapens true luv to call it that. I think women burning out their infatuation oxytocin receptors for cheap cok thrills, that cheapens true luv.

they dont really go all in. i went in. they just want to hit the jackpot over and over and over just by FOLDING. doesnt work that way. you gotta go all in to get the real jackpot.

take it from the losing gambler hahahaha.

well, its good that you feel guilt for dumping someone and breaking their heart. did you try to be gentle to them? are you still leading them on? did you really try your best to end the rel in as mature of a way as possible, using a shrink maybe?

so she hits him with an unreasonable request, he says, ok thats big, but i will try to learn to cope with this, then she gets mad at THAT, and says NO, you dont GET to try to cope with this, you must accept it as final with no expectations. you’re not FEELING the right way about this. holy shit.

thankfully reddit is ok here, and gives him the voice of reason that he is entitled to feel bad about this and she doesn’t get to make him feel bad for feeling bad! jesus christ!!!!!!!! how about YOU make an effort cupcake! how about YOU accept that this is gonna hurt him! you telling him unilaterally that you dont want to have secs with him any more! instead of you getting mad at him for being upset about that BOMB you just dropped on him! god damn!

im glad he was able to overcome his issues at age 30, and get a decent job and aso a 26 yo GF who isnt a huge slut. but now they are having big problems hehehehehe.

check out this SUPREME GENTLEMAN hahahaha enjoy your virginity incel neet loser. think it sucks at 20? wait til youre 30 hahahahahahahahahahahaha.

ANXIOUS ATTACHMENT STYLE. thats what i have.

anxious with possibly avoidant on top of that hahahaha.

because maybe he didnt think his luvly GF was the type of woman who could murder her baby and then think HE was weird because he thought murdering your baby was bad! and she has not grown at ALL since the experience, shown NO remorse, and obviously is the same baby-murdering bitch she was 5 years ago, and probably always will be!

its not BIZARRE at all! it’s horrible that you THINK its bizzarre!!!!!! why not feel even a LITTLE bit bad for murdering your own baby?

hehehehe. you can see that I am strong PRO-LIFE, ANTI-CHOICE. ANTI-MURDER.

if you’re gonna have an abortion……let it CHANGE you. feel deep REMORSE for it. resolve to never do it again. to become a better person. repent for your huge sin. learn that abortion is horrible and you NEVER want to do it again. Become anti-choice and pro-life. not like OP hahahaha.

the fact that you see this as on the same level as having the FLU is DISGUSTING, APPALLING, DISGRACEFUL, ABHORRENT, DEPLORABLE, ABOMINABLE, HORRIFYING. TOTAL MORAL INVERSION. PURE JOOISH EVIL. I BET this gurl is a J

of course, reddit luvs murdering babies so they call the guy an asshole. fook reddit hahahaha.

mention the interesting idea of guys who are “pro choice in theory, but pro life within their relationships.” and then talk about what disgusting woman hating hypocrites these guys are hahahaha. sheeeeeit I hope more of the pro-choice guys are like this. it might be enough to turn them pro-life.

NEVER DATE A WOMAN WHO SAYS SHE IS PRO-CHOICE.

If she asks you if you are pro-choice or pro-life, just say you are pro-life.

ALL pro-choice women are fooked up. They might not be BEYOND REDEMPTION but by GOD it’s NOT YOUR JOB to redeem them. way above your pay grade hahahahaha. you’ve have an easier time redeeming a slut or mudshark than a damn baby murderer hahahahaha. I’m talking about one who wasn’t already on the road to redemption thru her own rightfully guilty conscience. thankfully that happens to a lot of women who murder their babies. they get a rightful guilty conscience about it, and eventually become pro-life and redeem themselves. but half of them don’t, and become evil wimmin on reddit hahahahaha.

anyway dont date wimmin who do not have SERIOUS Moral Reservations against Abortion. NEVER date a vocal, activist, pro-choice woman. if they are undecided that is ok. that means they are uncomfortable with baby murder. as they should be. they are open to questioning the pro-choice bullshit which has been shoved down peoples throats since roe v wade.

you can usually spot the pro choice woman because they will eventually make a pro-choice statement, unprompted, before too long. like oh that woman hater trump is gonna overturn roe v wade and it will be a war on women! that kind of bullshit hahahaha.

Dont be Anti-Life. Be Anti-Choice. Be Anti-Murder.

GOOD PEOPLE ARE ASHAMED WHEN THEY DO BAD THINGS

sat aug 12

IF YOURE NOT ASHAMED OF BEING A HUGE SLUT, WHAT ELSE ARE YOU NOT ASHAMED OF?

GOOD PEOPLE ARE ASHAMED WHEN THEY DO BAD THINGS.

saw this super qt young blond gurl i have seen about 3 to 4 times at public social event. i noticed her the first time i saw her, where she was sitting pretty near to us, and i was like wow that girl is super qt, but i think average guys would say meh she is ok but no big deal, maybe 6/10 hahahaha. a little Mousey.

i guess MOUSEY IS MY TYPE hahahahahahaha.

this is really the first time where i was like wow i SHOULD go talk to that woman and try to Ask Her Out On A Date hehehehe. the worst she can say is no.

but i would be 100% satisfied with her qt body and if she had a decent personality, WHICH IS NOT HARD TO DO, JUST BE NICE AND MAKE AN EFFORT NOT TO BE AN OBNOXIOUS BITCH, then I could see myself TOTALLY getting over and forgetting about That Woman. This Woman has the potential to replace and erase That Woman completely. would probably be an improvement if she’s not a mudshark and tries to not give silent treatment.

main qualm is that i have nothing to talk about and i am OLD and an omega male with several years of huge setbacks on muh career. she is maybe 8 to 10 years younger than me, and probably on the Average Path to a Middle Class Career. University, graduate at 21, get a decent entry level 30k job at 21, get a promotion and/or a grad degree by age 25, etc. what do you say to normie winners like this? what do you say when you have WEIRD INTERESTS that you cant talk about with normies, like jooish subversion of our culture, the future of huhwhyte people, plus women shouldnt be talking about political stuff anyway.

well ok i guess i could keep the conversation on the Common Interest we clearly have, and talk about careers in general, or her career, minimize talk about my career. talk about morality in broad general terms, like do no harm and dont treat people like shit, and Tinder Dating Culture is Gross, i hope you’re not into that. no i dont just want to “FOOK” you, I WANT to put in the due diligence and dating and extreme vetting in order to get to that point, and i dont WANT you to fook guys right away anyway. i mean you SHOULD be taking at least 6 months anyway.

the other thing is she really does look kinda YOUNG. i dont have a problem with that…..but ALL OF SOCIETY DOES, so she would be getting a lot of pressure, and prob a lot of her own personal preference to not date an old loser creeper, find a nice boy at college closer to her own age who didnt screw up so much in life, has a good career.

ideally, i would have talked to her that VERY FIRST DAY i noticed her and ASked Her Out On A Date then. now I’m THINKING about her and ALREADY building up a stupid FANTASY.

but you CAN tell something just by looking at people. not everything, but still some meaningful stuff. some poeple just LOOK LIKE dirty mudshark sluts. some women look young and innocent and nerdy and mousey, like they havent been with 100000 guys.

sure, some sluts can look innocent, especially the young cute ones, but they can’t hide that slutty c0khungry gaze forever. cold, dead, black eyes, like a dolls eyes hahahaha. damn disgusting sex addicts hahahahaha.

sex is very important and im very interested in it…..but i put it in a proper perspective! and realize it is in service of something even MORE important!!!!!!!

women might not UNDERSTAND this, but they dont NEED to, they just NEED to not be a slut. when something they cant understand is just in their bones and says no, i dont want to BEHAVE like a dirty slut, even if my peers do, even if tinder encourages it. im just not wired that way. nope. its gross. it doesnt feeeeeeeeeeeeeeeel right. im not that kind of gurl. if some guy is a player pushing for secs, i dump him. i want to really get to know a guy first and i dont have secs unless we are In A Relationship.

DING DING DING WE HAVE A WINNER that is the correct answer. she doesn’t need to do on some bitter diatribe like you do about degeneracy and sin and the sanctity of human life and da joos and a culture of disposability and bla bla bla. you can gently push her towards that and then after 6 months of dating she can be a raging antijooish crusader with you hahahaha.

so what my plan hahahaha. take a shower next time i go, so i dont stink like a person who hasnt taken a shower in 3 days hahahahaha. dont talk about jooish degeneracy, dont say ive been staring at you the past 4 weeks, dont say im a neet omega 35 year old virgin who makes 13k a year. just emphasize the positives. say i am a nice person and a good person and want to meet a nice woman who is Compatible with me. I dont go in for Tinder Culture and you like to play this game i like to play and frankly you are kinda QT. For me. i dunno most other guys would think you are a 6.8 hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha like that neg?

but 6.8 is my 10 hahahaha. shit 6.8 is out of my league, im a 6 at best!

got first paycheck in 17 months hahahahaha. feels pretty good. someone who makes 13k a year should not be paying out 18% in taxes…..but really its only 9% in taxes and 9% in DEDUCTIONS like state pension / health care. which doesnt really benefit me at all. and social security hehehe. i have tried to minimize my state and fed income tax byt claiming allowance, or exemptions on the w4, which i never do, but now i am, because i would rather the money made .0000001% jooish interest for me, rather than go to uncle shmuley.

like to cut back on the coffee here hehehehe. i literally drink coffee all day, over a pot of coffee a day. it doesnt even have an effect on me any more. which is good as regards muh sensitive stomach, but uhhhh i would like to be more awake and alert and energized!!!!!

having a qt mousey 6.8, less than 10 guys gf would prob help with that hahaha.

go to therapy weirdo. hahahaha. well if you make 26k a year and dont go mad and have serious emotional probs that stop you from making 26k a year, be thankful, and prepare to live a Life Without Women.  and go to therapy for at least 10 years, thousands and thousands of dollars, before you are minimally qualified to date a disgusting pigwoman hahahaha. that’s how low your market value is.

i just hate this lie women tell t hat women are not aliens, they are just like men. well, it’s really a JOO lie, the women don’t know its a lie, they are just repeating jooish trash, they dont need to know any better.

but yeah. when i was friends with women, i was like, this is pretty nice, see women arent these weirdass ALIENS, theyre PEOPLE just like you and me.

of course, i didn’t have any Romantic Interest in them. when i DID, then came the whole ALIEN thing.

no, women arent technically aliens……UNTIL you want to interact with them in an Heterosexual, Dating, Relship, Intimate capacity. THEN they are total aliens. and you have to Learn and Use GAME hahahahaha.

aka BE MASCULINE.

if youre just trying to be friends with women, you need no game whatsoever. you can be a neet omega virgin.

then shit gets ridiculous when you start getting more than friendly feelings for your female friend.

just because Our Past makes us the Awesome People we are now, doesn’t mean you can’t be deeply ashamed of the horrible, degenerate, disgusting, shameful things you did in your past!

it’s not the PAST per se that makes you who you are, its you LEARNING from the MISTAKES you made and WORKING to become a better person! doesnt mean you should be HAPPY about those mistakes!!!! you can say, yeah that SUCKED, i was shitty, and I never want to be shitty like that again! NOT i fooked 10000000 guys and im not ashamed at all, i chose you, so you better accept my past!

i’ll accept your past once you REPENT for it.

NO REPENTANCE, NO ACCEPTANCE.

i will FORGIVE just about ANYTHING. my mercy and forgiveness is almost as infinite as GOD’S. but even GOD asks you to be REMORSEFUL for your sins. no you dont have to live in shame for years, but you DO have to realize what you did was WRONG, and genuinely, honestly be sorry for it, and willing to do a penance for it. Can you say this about your GF and her Slut Past? If not, be very afraid. because she’s not done with her slut past. its looking like a slut present and slut future. hell yeah you should judge, especially if she’s not going to!

im very judgmental of other people, but how about myself? EVEN MORE SO! you’re god damn right i am even MORE judgmental of myself!!!!!!!!!!!!!

woman wants to get revenge on her bf who legit betrayed her. i can totally understand revenge. but she wants to go too far for even a legit betrayal. like pushing the guy back into being a drinker, hurting his dying mother, even some say Ghosting is too much, Ghosting seriously fooks people up, don’t do it, its bad karma.

heh. my idea of revenge would be, just send all the noods and sex pictures they sent you, to their family members to show them what a slut they are. probably dont send the pictures to any family who is known to be super old, or dying, cancer, MS, etc. basically to mother and father, if they are not dying.

maybe plastering the noods all around her neighborhood. or sending them to her boss and colleagues. post on facebook wall.

or putting a bag of dog shit on their porch.

i mean i dont WANT revenge any more. i just want her to know what she did was WRONG, that it HURT me, and to be REMORSEFUL for it. also shes not a bad shitty person. so,more than likely, she DOES feel bad about it. well, that doesnt’ make me feel any better, because if she’s a good person, then i want to Be With Her!!!!!! and she is, and I do!

yeah well maybe this qt gurl at the game night is also a nice person. there are lots of good people out there. i tend to stay away from Bad People! that woman not a bad person, she was a pretty darn good person!

the people i associate with are good people! i would be hard pressed to name a single bad person that I actually know! if i get the intuition a person is a real piece of shit…..i stay away from them!

i mean i’ve know some Very Troubled people….but they are still Good people despite their flaws.

yet i WASTE all this time and energy THINKING about BAD people who don’t even really EXIST in my life!!!!!! these FICTIONAL degenerate sluts!

i mean they’re not strictly fiction….. but point is, iTS NOT WORF IT wasting time and energy thinking about this shit for more than 1 minute, unless i actually have a bad person or degen slut in my life giving me Issues!

so i waste a lot of time and energy, cause a lot of pain and anger, thinking about ABSTRACTIONS!!!!!! i mean these things really DO exist, but i tend to shun them in real life! even the sluts i’ve actually dealt with, i can’t say they were horrible people! just troubled and misguided!

heh. i was thinking about starting a Despair Forum where members pay x dollars and in return, they get a shrink or social worker who responds with expert advice every day, every thread. kind like Despair Forums only with an active team of experts who posted on all threads hahahaha.

maybe limited to men only.

i mean its sad. on /relships you see PLENTY of people with despair, or their gf or bf has issues with it, plenty of requests to Go To Therapy for Despair, yet if you look at /despair, its the shittiest sub ever. like, even shittier than /relships. for such a serious problem, it needs more serious discussion on reddit hahahahaha.

2016-12-30-13_24_12-sam-hyde-on-girls-in-college-kickstarter-tv-youtube

hehehe thats pretty funny

i guess this is a sign from GOD tellng me now is the time to become a sam hyde fan, sam is one of ussssssssss……

well i believe sam is a grad of RISD, ie a very top tier art skool, and he is prob butthurt because it didnt make him any money and he is 3000000000$ in debt now hahahahaha. well if THAT doesnt wake you up to the jooish college scam, nothing will. and there are THOUSANDS of college educated middle class shitlibs who are 50k in college debt and still LUV joos and blax and muslims and gays and cheating and abortions. at least sam has seen the light. id like him for him to seriously come out and say “I AM A HUHWHYTE NATIONALIST” but pretty sure he is anyway hahaha.

i just enjoy serious honest interviews more than “playing a character” for comedy. and of course you can be witty and funny in your serious interviews. shit i think he has done some normal talks, i just dont have the time to listen to his 6000000000000000000000000000000 vidyas hahahaha.  i mean i would like if the SPLC just did a report on him already, sam hyde is a WN racist terrorist hahahaha. i mean besides all the school shootings he did hahahahahaha. the fact he got his tv show on adult swim for even a month is insane.

i mean, i see attractive young women pretty regularly…..but rarely do i feel the urge that I SHOULD REALLY APPROACH THAT WOMAN. I will regret not approaching her.

when really i should be bold like a negro and approach every woman i find attractive, which, as i say, is a decent number. well, it wont be after all these 18-21 year old white gurls go back to ((((COLLEGE)))) hehehehe.

they dont need to understand how jooish it is. they just need to not DO THE JOO hahahaha. dont have tinder sex. dont treat people like garbage or objects. dont JOO people.

so GOD is calling me to talk to this gurl somehow. honestly the thing that concerns me most is that she looks really YOUNG. i dont have a problem with that, but the whole world does. if she is like 22 years old, yeah i risk looking like a real CREEPER in public. like why the hell am i interested in a CHILD hahahaha. yeah well fook that. shes a super qt gurl and i am a Single Man. in my heart i know its all right hahahaha. its not like she is 16 or even 18.

besides when i first became friends with that woman, she was 22 hahahahahaha. a CHILD.

really trying to improve my Mint system, and i have. trying to eliminate vague categories like “groceries” or “shopping.” because it had automatically moved stuff from the local supermarket or amazon or paypal or target into one of these categories when something like “clothing” is much more descriptive and useful. shoes, gratitude for fam, coffee, food, etc. books.

heh. i could make up a little business card with a link a Dating Website that i could give to that young woman for her to learn more about me than i can give in a 30 second elevator speech hahahaha. a nontinder nondating website profile hahaha. a general social website. like facebook. but not because i am not on facebook hahahaha. because i am creepy about womenhahahaha.

basically women on Dating Sites go on a lot of Dates, even on the rare chance they are not having lots of gross slutty secs with a lot of sleazy dudes. at the very least, they are going on lots of DATES and sitting through HOURS of guys trying to entertain or interest or impress them. that is a lot of competition. you have to be more interesting than all these guys. guys who have had a LOT more dating and women experience than you. you think, jeez, i wish there were some OTHER way to meet women, i just dont want to meet the types of women who use dating sites. therefore, you have to find women in the Wild who dont look like dating site sluts, and approach them. realizing they could very well still use dating sites and be huge sluts even if they dont LOOK like it hahahahahaha. like That Woman. did not look like a mudshark or a dating site woman, but she was a mudshark and on okcupid and probably tinder.

in her defense, she wasn’t all in on any of those things. she had just dipped the toe in. she could have EASILY turned back. being a decent person, she probably did, and married a nice white boy, gave him many children, and they lived very happily ever after.

https://radio.therightstuff.biz/2016/12/28/rebel-yell-150-sexual-utopia-in-power-f-roger-devlin/

heh i have known about devlin for YEARS, ever since bernard talked about him YEARS ago. little did i know that devlin was proto-alt-right! but yeah i should buy devlins books already. great guy with great perspective on WOMEN. not sure if he has great advice for normal men to find decent women. wish he would talk more about that. maybe he does in this interview. good that he says yes to appearing on a TRS podcast.

http://www.radixjournal.com/journal/2016/12/20/cultural-enrichment-and-sexual-competition

took benedryl.

that feel when you have been using your gf as an “emotional beast of burden” without being aware, and she resents you for it, and says youre very immature and need lots of therapy, but in reality you’re well within your rights, and she should be your beast of burden in this situation by just giving you some comfort when your parent is dying and you are sad. but now you are immature and need therapy.

thankfully reddit agreed that the gf was being rdiculous and immature and he didnt’ necess need therapy just because he vented at her once and was a BUZZKILL at that time.

hehehe i have had severe derpression for almost half muh life and i would never think of doing this to a person, giving them a bullshit ultimatum like that! a guy who would act like this could never get a gf in the first place!

thankfully reddit gave good advice. they DO give good advice 50% of the time!

woman ghosted  by man. i took it alot worse than this hahahaha.

good god. making good money at age 24 AND getting a full ride scholarship and hes not even finished with uni? getting a total POS for a gf when he DESERVES a nice white waifu.

smokin MJ and listen to saor, fuath….and gris again hahahahaha.

GOOD ALPHA BAD ALPHA

dec 11

ok i wanna establish a timeline of muh political racial alt right journey in case i meet up with any real life people, and i SHOULD, that should be muh new years resolution.

in 2008 i was a shitlib and voted for obongo. in 2012 i was much better and voted for mitt. i know in 2012 i was also listening to william luther pierce speeches and writing a blog that sort of positioned me as a WN “ally”, like hmmm this is scary, but also interesting, and maybe not as scary as I think. I think i was linking to stormfront and definitely stuff like counter currents and mindweapons. this was in 2012, 13 at the latest.

oh yeah. in late 2012, i got rejected by woman 2012, and i said, welp, i’m gonna go ALL IN on this racist stuff. i was holding back because i didnt want to seem Weird To Women, but now, i’ve not nothing to lose. I distinctly remember climbing the stairs 3 a time in muh old workplace saying “superior huhwhyte body, superior huhwhyte mind, crush the k1k3s, huhwhyte huhwharrior” as kind of a mantra in late 2012 to encourage me as i suffered thru the loss of woman2012.

so yeah i guess 2012 was when i became “alt right” hahahaha.

but i thought, lets look at my amazon history and the books i bought, thats a pretty good indicator.

2010 – started using amazon. yeah a bit late i know. late 2010. 2 books only: “atomised” by houellebecq, and “the evolution of desire” by david buss. (evo psych.) not a bad start!

2011 – myth of male power by warren farrell, women theory and practice by bernard chapin, more houellebecq – platform and whatever. (platform was prob muh fav, decent writer here.)  breaking bad thrid season. escape from gangsta island by chapin.  some crimmus presents including a book for woman2012 hahahaha. stuff for family. day bang by roosh v, because i wanted to use day game to seduce a nice Day Woman like woman 2012. sorcery and religion by varg vikernes. season 1 of big bang theory. i cant believe i ever liked that show.

2012 – going january to dec here on all these. life at the bottom by dalrymple, heard of him from chapin, i know MW was a big fan as well. another warren farrell book i never fully read. righteous indignation by breitbart. war against boys by christina hoff sommers. you can see i was still big on mra/mgtow stuff, which i will not apologize for, it was necessary for muh development, and these people arent WRONG. also sommers or farrell arent woman shunning mgtows!!!! flipside of feminism by venker and schlafly, got autographed edition and i think phyllis schlafly went on to pass away soon after. america alone by mark steyn. i was listening to rush limbaugh radio and really liked when mark steyn hosted. he still is a great guy, so charismatic. radical son by david (((horowitz))). another chapin recommendation. interested there because horowitz went from communist to rightist. but def not alt rightist, hehehe.

liberty and tyranny by mark (((levin))). listening to some levin radio as well. never read the book. the long march by roger kimball, another chapin rec. didn’t fully read it but i didnt donate it either. freedom twenty five by frost. a kind of self improvement book by a decent PUA/Game writer, who was smart enough to potentially move beyond Game and Hedonism. not sure if he did. decent book actually. 4 hour workweek by tim ferriss, hahahahahaha.

here we go: confessions of a reluctant hater by grindr greggy johnson. i think i bought it from matt parrott’s bookstore, RIP. october 2012. muh first legit WN “alt right” book. interesting, at that time i was gettign rejected by woman2012, hehehe. good book by greg, i dont really hate greg, im just bantzing. greg is GREAT.

suicide of a superpower by pat buchanan. great book. then a bunch of christmas gifts for people.

2013 AMAZON PURCHASES, jan to dec

CULTURE OF CRITIQUE by stefan molyneux hahahahaha in may 2013. yep that was a good move. i never finished it but want to hahaha. c# for dummies, some c# and asp.net and internet app security books.  racism schmacism by james edwards of the conservative cesspool. political cesspool sorry. christmas gifts. was gonna start my new shitty job and was getting a lot clsoer with That Woman this year. amazon slowed down.

2014

texas holdem for dummies hahaha. the unschooling handbook by griffith. how to talk to anyone by lowndes. one sheaf one vine by griffin. he wrote the pierce biography and there are chapters in the sheaf book on mindweapon and alex linder. this was in august 2014 when mindweapon was getting doxxed and slandered. fookin antiwhite pigs.

dumbing us down by john taylor gatto in sept 2014. i think i was starting to feel the need to Have Heirs, because I was thinking about how to best educate children.

dispossessed majority by wilmot robertson. an old school pro white classic.

thus spoke zarathustra by freddy n because why the hell didnt i have this book. still havent read it tho hahahaha.

death of the west by pat buchanan. great book.

bunch of christmas gifts including a very nice one for That Woman. damn.

the shy man syndrome by gilmartin. was concerned clearly about how things were not going so well with That Woman at the end of the year. remember i got feelies around october and wanted to talk to her….but she was avoiding hanging out with me. the last we really HUNG OUT was in sept 2014. this book is the incel bible by the world’s leading incel phd hehehehe. it paints such a bleak picture that i had to stop reading it. good book though. just dont read it until you have a huhwhyte huhwhyfu.

2015 AMAZON

king of the hill season 6. watching KOTH was one of my only pleasures in life at this time with the shitty job and That Woman refusing to hang out with me. (but she still responded to my texts nicely and said we would hang out soon.) a book to help me with muh shitty job. by march 2015 i was obsessed with studying in off work hours and became totally consumed and crazy. cleveland show season 2 dvd. another decent show. the bias against guns by john lott in may 2015. i was laid off and a shitlib swpl acquaintance got into a big tirade on how guns are evil and need to be controlled, severely limited, and i wasnt confident enough to argue against him, but i knew he was wrong hahaha. judas priest live vengeance 82. CLASSIC show.

sept 2015 getting past your breakup by susan elliott. hehehehehe. yep that happened.

customer service training 101 by evenson. i felt i was losing all my customer service skills and was trying to mentaly prepare for tuff situations. i lost ALL my confidence to deal with tough customer situations. felt so weak. still do actually.

2016

a guide to customer service skills for the service desk professional by donna knapp. a customer service book for tech support help desk people. pretty good book, should have got this when i started that job. funny i only read it after i QUIT.

a RAM chip to upgrade muh computer. good call. some clothes with a gift card.

the dialectical behavior therapy skills workbook by mckay et al. hmm just bought this. not a bad book.

man going his own way by bernard chapin in dec 2016. not alt right, probably MGTOWish judging by dat title, but I wanted to support uncle bern for xmas hehehe.

a book related to the field of muh new JOB. I wanted to buy some relevant books RIGHT AWAY. still waiting on that one too.

wow thats all folks.

TLDR: I bought my first officially alt right, pro white book in october 2012, but was sowing the seeds well before that. if game and mra and mgtow can be considered sowing the seeds.

well, in 2012, they kind of WERE! and when i say “game”, i mean deeper thinkers like heartiste and houellebecq. and in 2012, mgtow seemed like a damn good idea!

i was reading heartiste even when i was a shitlib, just because i was so obsessed with women and why they were so ridiculous, and why i couldn’t even pull skanky promiscuous sluts who would fook ANYBODY EXCEPT ME! so heartiste/roissy and chapin got me started on muh journey. and those dirty sluts who wouldnt bang me or even hang out with me.

come on, youre a KNOWN slut, youre SUPPOSED to be EASY!!!! hahahaha. arent you mad at the patriarchy that oppresses you? dont you even know about any of this, YOU IGNORANT SLUT?

and then, THANK GOD, i came to realize “the patriarchy” was bullshit.

hehehe anyway when you buy babbys first copy of CULTURE OF CRITIQUE, thats usually a good sign ahahahaha. as i recall, i had known about it LONG before i finally bought it, such that i felt I was buying it LATE, in may 2013.

so thats muh cred hahahaha.

 

might as well toss this one in here, while i am keeping On Top of New albums. i have known about wardruna for years, ever since like 2011 when i started investigating gorgoroth, and then gayhl, which brought me to wardruna, which is not super gay, and also features kvitravn who was a decent drummer for gorgoroth, and they are doing full nordic larpagan stuff here, but it doesnt sound ridiculously larpy, which makes me wonder if they feel some kind of connection deep in their nordic blood, which would be great. just speculating here.

anyway. pretty chill and beautiful neovolkisch stuff from people who have srs metal background. and they just came out with a new album, here it is.

yep shaving with the old fashioned single blade safety razor is great, a pleasure, a privilege, a nice smooth shave……..but it takes a damn long time. you cant do it quickly. which is its number one con by far. if you try to go fast you will prob butcher your face and you will still take a long time anyway.

in other words, it may take too long to shave this way BEFORE you go to your job. unless you get up super early. i’ve just been using the electric razor so i can get an OK shave and not cut my damn face and do it pretty fast.

wow big snowstorm here, prob gonna be a bad winter, cuz last winter was so GOOD and light on snow and cold. which means this winter is gonna be fookloads of snow and ridic low temperatures.

just waiting around to go back outside, clear moar snow, then go to bed hehehe and get up at 5 am and maybe clear more snow again hahahaha.

have i uploaded this picture yet? it is very educational:

f05q4jp

i found it on MPC, and somebody bantzed PMan saying he was the third guy under Beta Negative, hahaha.

but yeah my audience is clearly delta negative and below. i identify most with omega positive. for sure.

also it neglects to mention that beta males CAN get women. they are just always at risk of losing these women to alphas.

those thuggish negros who women leave you for and who end up cheating on or dumping the women you luved? these deadbeat thugs would be alpha negative. the badbois. all the women see is the alpha part. they cant tell good from bad, alpha positive from alpha negative hahaha.

great concept here hahahaha

QUOTE

”  neveragoodtime 30 points 1 year ago
For you white knights on the fence, this isn’t an issue of men who are intimidated by a strong woman’s past sexual exploits. That if she tells you those days are over and she doesn’t do those things anymore and he was a jerk anyway and she loves you for you and sex isn’t that important anyway, she must be telling you the truth now. You’re not being compared to what she had in her past, you’re being compared to what she couldn’t have. She never had the alpha, she just f00ked him, and therefore thinks she could have had him, but obviously she didn’t lock him down. It’s not that you can’t compete with her exes, you can’t meet her expectations, and she will always be less happy in your relationship. ”

giphy-1

http://archive.is/iBo8D

glad to see this page has been already archived twice hahahaha

https://therationalmale%5Bdot%5Dcom/2012/01/06/the-slut-paradox/

another good page, only not linkin directly because i just dont want to leave a pingback. but i do support rollo tomassi i suppose insofar as this article and his view on game, women, the red pill, etc

and then of course i think of that woman. she will prob be an alpha widow. well her major BF, i knew him, and i got along with him, i didnt have any big problems with him, i wanted him and her to work things out, but he just wasnt feeling it. was he a true alpha? he was pretty damn handsome. but he was autistic as fook, and prone to despair, drinking, and being an antisocial grumpy asshole apparently, with no friends, who just wanted to sit around and use the internet. describing him he sounds like a neet virgin. but he was handsome and he had kind of a hardass confidence i guess. wasn’t scared of gurls. but he was absolutely not a normie. kinda wish i had gotten the chance to get to know him better.

the short term bf was prob an alpha negative. so she’ll prob be hung up on HIM.

went outside and cleared snow THREE times today and it was STILL coming down. total snowfall of 7 to 12 inches hehehe. thats a lot for us before the new year. its prob gonna be a bad winter. gonna get up even earlier tomorrow (4.40 am) to blow some more snow. THANK GOD we have a snow blower. many people do not.

tried to do a new job task while i was at home today, basically logging into a system and making a report The Boss wants. but i can’t figure out how to make the report for all people, only one by one. it seem TOTALLY STUPID that the system would not give you a SQL-like way to make the query, and FORCE you to pick only ONE person/record at a time. there HAS to be a better way…..but i just don’t know it. i just wanted to show some initiative.

wore the new $20 walmart winter boots. they were great. kept feet dry and warm. even if they fall apart halfway through the winter they will be worth it.

but yeah i liked That Woman because she didnt seem like the Cynical, Nihilistic, Desouled, Corrupted, Ruined, Destroyed, completely Infantile Modern Woman that all the Game and “Red Pill” blogs talk about. She seemed like a Decent Woman. and she probably was and is. she just got scared and ran away when there was something she couldnt handle. SIMPLE. NOT ROCKET SCIENCE here. dont need a smart guy like ROISSY or rollo tomassi to explain it to me.

dec 12

normie wagies need to still put in a grueling day of slavery. the lucky ones can hope they get a slow day. the unlucky ones will actually be BUSIER due to the bad weather. or it will have no impact because they are just getting phone calls from all over the nation and or world, not just their immediate area.

http://www.depressionforums.org/forums/topic/128618-alone-and-afraid/

this goy is having a tough time, gets dumped harshly by the love of his life, she blames him directly, refuses to talk further, now he is stuck in a Self Blame Spiral! I posted on there to try to reassure him. she’s dumping him for ying about his age. now this is her right, and it’s not great to lie about your age…..but i totally sympathized. especially since i totally understand why you would lie about your age. i have thought about lying about my age. oh yeah i only just turned 30, therefore it’s a lot less weird that i have no relship experience and barely any secsual experience, hahahahahaha.  that as a 30+ year old man i have signif less relship and secs experience than a 20 year old gurl!

but 20 year old gurls are huge sluts who have way TOO MUCH secs experience.

besides women are the supply men are the demand, so it’s not really weird that women have Relship Experience starting right at…..age 18 onward. that they aren’t Single much, in other words. just DONT rack up a high number while you are busy not being single. keep it with a low number of guys. LTR’s.

maybe that woman’s first major bf wasn’t an alpha positive, but he was an alpha negative because he was grumpy and unhappy and stubborn and used to have a drinking problem and was content with mediocrity in his job until she encouraged him to get a higher paying (but still really shitty and stressful!) job. she stayed with him, started dating him, even when he was making like minimum wage. so she saw something in his cocky badboy personality, and also he was handsome.

and he wasnt SO alpha that he got bored with her and dumped her and cheated on her. well it sounded like he got bored with her, but he didnt cheat or dump. he just stayed with her and drank and got grumpy and distant. a true alpha would have just dumped her or cheated.

so does this make him more moral than an alpha? but an alpha can be moral too, if he dumps and doesn’t cheat. theres nothing immoral about DUMPING.

so i think he was somewhat lazy, or had a tendency to get stuck in ruts. i know that feel! except my ruts never involved being in a traditional monog rel with a nice, sweet, pretty, young woman! even when he was in a rut, he was alpha enough to pull that off.  also he was Her First, so that i think was very relevant to her staying with him and not giving up on him, when he had clearly given up on her.

so who’s she gonna be the Alpha Widow for, is my question. this guy or the short term guy who came after, who blatantly Did Her Wrong? probably that guy, because he was more alpha, AND he did her wrong. it’s hard to get over that. makes you want to be mean and break some poor omegas heart as the revenge you aren’t allowed to get on the bad alpha hahahaha.

in fact the first BF kinda seemed like a Beta Negative, but I guess he was handsome and confident enough, albeit unpleasant, and she was young and “inexperienced” and innocent and loving enough, to not give up on him, and to give him MORE than a good faith effort, that i wish she had given 10% of to ME. and not in a relship way, but just in a just friends, try to do the right thing, good karma sort of way.

had to make a post on that one. yeah him lying about his age is legit a dealbreaker, but i think he had good intent and didnt deserve that punishment.

QUOTE here’s my effortpost to him:  ”  Darn man, that is just horrible. IMHO it is very insensitive of her to essentially say “It’s all your fault, you caused this,” then shut down, then throw you away like a piece of garbage. I think the much kinder, gentler, mature thing, is to say some variation of “it’s not you, it’s me,” when you are ending a relationship that the other person doesn’t want to end, and you know that person is going to be hurt. Try to be as gentle as you can on them with something you know is going to hurt them, not say “this is all your fault” AND then shut down and refuse to discuss it further. That sounds really rotten to me, and IMHO a person who would do that to you is not someone you would want in your life. How would you treat someone if you wanted to dump them and you knew they still wanted to be with you?

How hard is it for the dumper to make some kind of good faith effort to be kind (yet firm) in dumping? Does she know this is adding insult to injury? I had a similar situation and I just blamed myself for many months, thought that I had done something horribly wrong, that I was a horrible person, maybe I was a horrible abuser to make somebody get rid of me like this.

Yeah it’s not great to lie about your age, and yes people do have the right to make a one-sided decision to end a relationship whenever they want, but I think that with that right comes the responsibility to be decent to the person you are dumping. Maybe she is trying to “punish” you for lying to her? Possibly she doesn’t even know why she’s doing what she’s doing, and is too immature to see how much it’s hurting you.

You are right, it’s impossible to find other things which can perfectly substitute for the unique joys of a close relationship. But the pitcher example given above is pretty good. It’s important to distract yourself with hobbies, work, exercise, and not replay this over in your mind too much, or blame yourself. But it’s also important to grieve what is indeed a very big loss for you.

I would also recommend going No Contact. Or maybe directly telling her she could have been a little more tactful and considerate when dumping you, would she like it if somebody dumped her like that? (Maybe she was dumped like that in the past, and this is her “paying it back”?)

Yeah lying can destroy trust, and I’m sure you’ve already learned your lesson about not lying about your age in the future. Were there other lies? It’s her right to not want to forgive your lie, but still I don’t think it warrants the “punishment” you’re getting.

Would she be willing to go to a relationship counselor with you? I hate to say it, but it doesn’t sound like she’s WILLING to do much of anything to meet you halfway here. Minimal/No Contact might be for the best here. Sorry she couldn’t be more of an adult with you.

How long were you together? I think you said 5 months? Is that the entire length of time you knew her? I don’t mean to minimize your pain, but it’s hard to fully know a person in 5 months. Maybe she was starting to show her “true colors”, that is, someone who’s not willing to make the effort to be committed to you and handle conflict maturely.

There’s no way to make this easier, just try not to blame yourself too much and get through 1 hour at a time! Feel free to post any updates.  ”

END QUOTE

went for 1 mile powerwalk in neighborhood afternoon after YUGE winter storm, 10 inches of snow. workplace was closed down. wanted to see what the neighborhood looked like in the light. really not bad. city did a good job of plowing roads. most people cleared their driveways and even sidewalks. but muh new shiny winter boots enabled me to trudge through snow and keep feet warm and dry. and even through wet cold SLUSH as well.

so that is really good. since i never had good winter boots before, that was always my somewhat valid excuse for not doing powerwalks in the winter. so now i can get a bracing 20 minute powerwalk in. sometimes it will be too cold to do longer. that is ok. but 20 minutes should be doable even in 10 degree weather. and it is a balmy 30 degrees right now. and these arent even GOOD winter boots, but the cheapest boots i could find at WALMART.

ate a TINY  chocolate coated donut, it was like 80 calories. this was not a large or even a medium or probably even a small donut, but a very small, mini, bite size MINI donut.

its not eating fried meat that makes the sp1c n1gz too fat to walk, its Sweet Treats like donuts and chips and stuff. cakes, donuts, cinnabons. these are the absolute worst things.

not sure how great yandex is, but i just made an email there because andrew anglin mentioned the name, and i wanted something slightly permanent to go along with my second disqus account which pretty much gives away my location when i upvote Real Talk comments in the local paper hehehehe that i did not want linked with my larger Alt Right personality, like ooh look, this guy who upvotes trs also upvotes racist comments in the podunk times. that must be where he lives.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Yandex

info on the yandex co

selling muh info to the skype cabal who controls russia hahahaha

Arkady Volozh the founder and ceo is a JOO welp i shouldnt be so suprirsed.

i like that they have a background of the huge “the motherland calls” statue in volgograd. but this is where the dirty reds beat back the glorious NSDAP hehehehe. the russians are the bad guys hehehe. well theres good russians and bad russians. good russian bad russian hehehehe. you can guess that that bad russians arent really “RUSSIANS” at all. ((((RUSSIANS)))) hehehehe. PURGE THE BERGS & STEINS!!!!!

man. all the new people coming into TRS are way better goys than me. masters degrees in petroleum engineering, 20 year old young men with 3.9 GPA in mechanical engineering or math. military service. social skills from selling shit. manly non bitch hands from working in machine shops. knows how to fix shit. with people like this coming in, i should get banned just for being a loser hahaha. giving money to TRS is not enough. especially when i dont give a LOT hahahaha.

yeah well if they ban me i will stop giving hahaha. i dont think they would really BAN me for being a loser. i mean i am slowly moving away from that loserness. probably not fast enough for their liking……but they dont need to know those details.

it just sucks to find a group of people you like and respect, then worry about them rejecting you because youre not good enough for them. and when you compare yourself with them, well shit yeah, they have accomplished a lot more than you and they ARE a lot cooler than you!

yeah well they havent rejected me yet hehehe. no need WORRYING about it.

dec 13

went in to job. was very slow and easy. saw a half black half white woman about 25 years old who made me consider race treason. she had a masters degree and was a Young Professional. She appeared Significantly Younger than me. she clearly had her life and career in order! she was pretty darn attractive. good in shape body. BMI 20 or so hahaha. light mocha skin. green or gray eyes, NOT dark brown black eyes hahahaha. i think she was a Halfroon rather than a Light Skinned Black. I felt bad she didnt have a real race to call her own. I wondered about her racial identity. But she clearly had a masters degree and a decent career. all by the age of 25 and was very attractive. would TOTALLY bang. would NOT have chirren with.

got paperback physical book of “man going his own way” by UNCLE BERN. it is a large book but thin, like a coloring book hahaha. very nice cover art. he uses a lot of foul language he does not use on his videos. i do not mind at all hahahaha. i honestly think he just never found the right woman. maybe a combination of standards too high and just have bad luck. maybe he was too Laissez Faire when he should have been Dominant. but he IS dominant in his own way! i guess not in the way that women like though. unlucky! i know his first (and only) wife was BATSHIT crazy. i think he talks about these juicy details in the book. stories of his youth, college, etc, that he doesnt really share in his videos. LISTEN TO THE EAGLE! BUY THE BOOK!

i would like for him to get racially woke and or red pilled on the JQ and become more fascist and 14 words, obviously, but i dont think he ever will. unless maybe he were to join TRS and really listen to the goys there….. i guess it depends on how serious he is about having children. at 46, 47 years old, he may have RESIGNED himself to no children.

anyway i will never stop muh $1 a month dnation to uncle bern because he was big in getting me to where I am today. I might even increase that hehehe.

came home at 2:45 pm or so and immediately took benedryl to prepare self for an early bedtime at liek 8 or 9. i guess ideally i should do that on sunday afternoon. the trick is not to take it too late so you are not groggy the next day at 5 am hahahha.

 

 

WHAT GOOD DOES IT DO ME?

dec 3

https://www.youtube dot com/watch?v=C2hOJR0hIBY

this “woman” looks like a man, and should not be wearing something so unflattering, and looks part nonwhite, BUT she is appearing on redice, who are Legit Vetted Good Goys and worthy of support, talking about the evils and degeneracy of Jooish Pornography, so thats pretty cool. i just saw this, have not listened yet.

but with a great name like “PORNOGRAPHY: WEAPONIZED DEGENERACY” I got a DOUBLE BONER and downloaded it IMMEDIATELY for listening very soon on a powerwalk! they just should not have put “her” wearing that in the thumbnail. jeez she is so ugly in that picture it undermines all of our credibility hahahahaha. still anything about PORNOGRAPHY: WEAPONIZED DEGENERACY HAS to be a good talk, good lesson, good message.

 

really you should listen to the three hour mix three times a day hahahahahahaha

when we were young, once in a great while we would find a song that was so mind blowingly awesome that we made a “mix cd” of that one song on repeat for 74 minutes.  this one would definitely qualify! although I was not aware of it at that time unfort. Oh I knew about the movie but had no interest in it and had no knowledge of the music.

here is one of those songs hehehe. for some reason we gravitated to ridiculous 80s style “cock rock.”

i am shilling for red ice today. now i dont like how this guest woman dresses like a HOOKER with the eye makeup and earrings and showing the tits, but uh i will try to listen to this one as well. but yeah even though henrik and lana are All Right, sometimes they do have weirdass guests who are jooish or antiwhite hahahaha so just because somebody is ON red ice doesnt mean they are automatically good.

but yeah what red ice is doing, creating their own alt right, pro white media platform/network, is exactly what whites need to do. create a white, joo-free media. our own news, our own tv and radio, and of course podcasts are a great part of this, and its already happening, THANK GOD.

yeah i know red ice did weird alex jones conspiracy shit years ago, but i forgive them hahahaha.

henrik and lana just need to have 3+ children and hire some white men to do red ice.

i would become a sustaining member of red ice but their prices are too damn high hahahahaha.

65 euros a YEAR?  that is like 66 dollars a year. i would maybe do 20.

i mean they DESERVE it, i just cant/dont want to dnate that much!

i mean its more for ME than THEM, so i can FEEL GOOD about myself, and really i need all of THAT i can get!

there is this catholic church sorta near me that is geared towards polish people, and i hear that polish catholics are some of the most hardcore Based Catholics hahahaha. they are proud of their polish blood and dont have open arms for a bunch of screaming asians and mestizos and browns and arabs which you see in many cath churches. plus i have some polish blood and love poles. love them. would love a nice polish gurl for a qt 3.1488 waifu. poland is definitely a top tier european country.

problem is this place doesnt just have one polish mass a week, they have nothing BUT polish mass and EVERYTHING is in polish, church website, church bulletin/newsletter.

actually this is not a problem at all, this is a fookin BENEFIT. cuz it means they are traditional and old school as fook.

so i could just go there and be like

¯\_ツ_/¯   ¯\_ツ_/¯     ¯\_ツ_/¯     ¯\_ツ_/¯     ¯\_ツ_/¯       ¯\_ツ_/¯      ¯\_ツ_/¯

and say dzien dobry, jak sie maz (????), sto lat, dzienkuje, boze dobry, boze dobrze rzarzarzarza, ja nie movi polakiu, and then they would say oh look hes trying, how nice, then they could hook me up with their 19 year old virgin daughter who could teach me polakiu hahahaha and i could put babies in her for 14k a year hahahahaha.

sheeeeeeit those women are TOO GOOD for me!

乁(⏓ ͜つ⏓)ㄏ

2016-12-03-20_36_03-cardamom-0-02_0-04-no-limit-holdem-replay-13464295

this fookin guy makes a huge raise when he flops a pair of 8s. glad i agressively went all in instead of thinking he had AA and folding! or 88 or 66 or 22 hehehe.

no thats not 7 dollars and 45 cents, thats .00745 btc, which is…. 5 dollars and 71 cents. YIKES. well the price of BTC has gone up pretty steadily since i started playing this shit like 2 years ago.

so yeah if i had any BALLS like a REAL MAN i would have gone to this polish church 11 fookin years ago!!!!!!!

fooking reddit relships and their different secs BEST FRIENDS. you shouldnt have a BEST FRIEND who is the opposite sex!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

and IM the weirdo and sexist and hateful racist violent trump supporter for thinking this!!!!!!!

or IM weird because i think open relationships are shitty and bad. im being too judgmental and intolerant of peoples valid choice.

well to be fair, reddit says that MOST people

dec 4

 

i am gradually warming up to emily youcis. normally i am very very very very suspicious of women in the movement, but she doesnt seem TOO bad. plus i immediately get more sympathy for the women once they LOSE something like their job or their freedumz. and so she was recently fired by k1ke company aramark (i applied for office clerk job there, no response hahaha) after working for 7 years selling pistachios at the baseball stadium. fired for “social media” reasons.

yeah i mean maybe this was part of her plan and she’s prob not gonna go homeless or sucking dick for a place to stay (not that most women dont already do that anyway hahahahahahahahahaha)

anyway. so i am always judging women for being hookers and sluts and wh0res and promiscuous and degenerate, but in the end, do those things really impact me directly? why do i hate sluts so much? that woman wasn’t a slut! she hurt me through ways that did not involve sluttiness AT ALL!

yeah well in the PAST ive def been hurt by women who were into the slutty casual sex mindframe. also i just find it very distasteful and immoral and degen and a sign of the cultural and spiritual degen which we must fix in our people. and yes it represents something i WANT but cant seem to get, which is given away so freely to Everyone Else but I am fundamentally broken and unable to obtain.

and also i am judgmental against the things that that woman DID do, like avoiding shit like a coward, i dont like that either hahaha.

ok well here’s a good point: at least i never really became a beta orbiter friendzone!!! or if i did, it ended pretty damn quickly!

it kind of proves that i basically will not LET MYSELF become a pathetic supplicating beta orbiter. i eventually have to rip the bandaid off and be like, here’s the obvious truth which i can’t believe you’re not seeing. I CANT GO ON THIS WAY hahahaha.

going to church on sunday today instead of saturday. going to church that is probably better than the one i usu go to. less cucky and marxist and antitrvmp and leftwing. less cucking for DIVERSITY and UNITY and VIBRANCY and all that shit. shit no wonder that church is full of weird asians and this other church seems to have more whites. shit why dont i just go to this other church regularly. or go to that damn polish church. IT DOESNT MATTER that i dont speak polish. i could learn and besides them speaking polish is a YUGGGGGGGGGGGE value add!!!!!!! its a GREAT thing!

yep starting new 13k job tomorrow. kind of a big deal. nervous. dont want to screw it up. dont want to look like a WEIRD IDIOT. just want to do a good job. not just a good job, but a GREAT job and really impress everyone.

sheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeit i should have been getting BOOKS related to my NEW FIELD the instant i knew i was hired, and devouring those books to get a good frame of reference, big picture view, maybe some small picture view too, reading the books The Director reads for his PhD, which is of course related to his masters degree and what he does now, The Department, what books are most relevant to this job and this department, thought leaders, bla bla. i quickly bought a book right now so that i could say i at least placed my order for the book before i started the job hahahaha but why i didnt do this 2 weeks ago so i could have had the books and started reading them by now…….hmm maybe i am not serious about making 13k a year with no benefits, maybe WALMART would be a better fit with my career skills.

dumped because he couldnt read the gurls stupid mind. i GUESS shes ENTITLED to dump him for whatever stupid reason she wants, but when the reason is THAT stupid, just candy coat it and dont GIVE an exact reason. i mean thats just a BAD REASON. just say I’m not compatible with you. it’s not you its me. that would be better than saying some stupid ass shit like that.

hehe i made the mistake of initially assuming the “best friend” OP of the gurl was another gurl. hehehe. sounds like he is deeply in luv with her and is in complete denial. but not looking at that, she still should not be Ghosting her friends.

i mean this guy is cringey and beta orbiter AF, and theres a very important lesson to learn there, but she still shouldnt be Ghosting him like a coward, throwing away 3 years of friendship, and getting her new bf to laugh at him and call him pathetic (which he is.)

dont be like this pvssy phaggot. but at least he is getting a CS degree so he might be making 30k a year by age 22. that is a pretty good move.  i mean its still risky because i worked with CS grads doing the exact same phone bullshit as me.

bonus points for OP having mad anxiety and panic attacks that feel like heart attacks and he is so confused hhahaha.

better when you are 21 than 31!

then reddit shreds this kid for being a sexist, creepy niceguy, which he kind of IS, but this ISNT the way to deal with that. you have to show some sympathy for these poor sad bastards. theyre not the bad horrible people you think they are !!!!!!!!

he doesnt need to “RESPECT” her wishes because they’re not respectable. just use the word ACCEPT. ACCEPT her stupid, unrespectable wishes, and let her get fooked by chad. the end.

grieve and have legitimate suffering because your friend of 3 years didnt give a DAMN about you as a human being. i feel your pain man. that sucks. this is the sympathy he’s not getting ANY of and he should.

anyway. i wish you COULD be Just Friends with a woman before Dating and Fooking and Relshiping them, because unless I am Friends with a Woman, i really just dont LIKE them. the way they approach Relships is degenerate and infuriating. I just dont like it. rustles the shit out of me.

I wish you COULD get to know a woman as a friend, be like this is a really good person and i like them, maybe I can try a deeper rel with them, i think they would make a decent GF or wife. i wonder if she will be willing to try that.

NOPE. NEVER WILL. thats what the friendzone is hahahaha. if you dont fook her like a n1993r within 2 days of meeting her, you dont have a chance with making her your GF or wife.

i just hate how the J’s are dumbing us down and jooing us down and morally corrupting us all down into n1993rs.

If you don’t like the word n1993rs, just call em animals. they are turning us all into filthy, dumb, dirty, disgusting ANIMALS.

I AM NOT AN ANIMAL!!!! I AM A HUMAN BEING!!!!!

anyway yeah this reddit niceguy hate is just way out of line. niceguys arent THAT bad. have some damn SYMPATHY for them. save some of that judgment for the women, who in many cases are being huge bitches to the niceguys.

but yeah this guy needs to stay away from this gurl, and there needs to be more blame directed at HER.

when you are begging and bribing somebody to hang out with you. it IS pathetic tho! but its SAD. he doesnt even REALIZE hes in LUV with her. at least I REALIZED that. and i STOPPED contacting her eventually. let her run off and fook animals.

and yeah it would help that guy to go to a shrink, but good lord dont tell him you are SUPER FOOKED UP and must see a shrink NOW if you have any chance of not being a horrible person. they hate these nice guys almost as much as they hate TRVMP or WHITE PEOPLE.

i was thinking in an ideal world, i would just get a dr to prescribe me Medical MJ for Despair and Anxiety, just like getting an RX for Citalopram and Valium. Which I have already gotten RX’s for.

so in an ideal world, despair and anxiety would be legal medical Qualified Conditions for MMJ.  but they arent.

anyway i was thinking, go to semi shady MMJ doctor and be like listen, so i dont have cancer or back pain like most of the people, but i dont want to bullshit you and say i have CARPAL TUNNEL pain when i really dont, but here’s something I REALLY DO HAVE, and have taken RX’s for YEARS to PROVE it, i know they arent TECHNICALLY conditions, but…..hey i’ll buy ya dinner right now, you’re pretty hungry from writing recommendations all day arent ya goy? bubby?

the thing is, i could say that my TREATMENT for OTHER CONDITIONS causes SPASMS, and then i could get MMJ for that. yeah but it doesnt. but i think citalopram causes spasms for some people hahahahaha.

basically the TREATMENT for something Unqualifying, gives me a Backdoor into Qualifying.

but not really, because this treatment doesnt cause spasms or severe pain!

https://www.reddit.com/r/altright/comments/5e7rbu/emily_youcis_animator_of_alfred_alfer_ama/

meh i guess i will approve of emily, she seems to be sincere. hope her animation bcomes less degenerate and she seems to be aware that by joining the alt right and becoming pro white, you kinda HAVE to hold yourself to a higher moral standard and actively purge the degeneracy from your own life.

but she’s only been into this for less than 6 months! i have been into this for like 6 years!!!!!!!

heh i dont really care as long as she is sincere and doesnt stop being pro white. she talks about losing friends and such and purging people. this is good.  purge the dead weight and bad influences from your life. Traditional Morality will alienate you from degenerate animalistic losers. you dont want them to be your friends anyway.

fine i will HUHWHYTE KNIGHT for emily even though shes probably taken MILES AND MILES of dick, prob even nonwhite (no real proof.) but i am willing to forgive, if there is TRUE repentance.

well i dont really like these super big bewbs gurls plus she will probably start to get very potato looking when she gets older. but at age 26 right now she is pretty qt, would hang out with hahahahahahahaha.

i mean better late than never amirite. im no saint myself. you know what they say, all saints have a past and all sinners have a future!

i went to this other church this morning and it was 100000000000000 times better than the one i usually go to. not only was it less boring and faster, there were a lot more whites, some qt young white women as well! i mean i already KNEW this for at LEAST a YEAR!!!!!

like the priest at my regular church, nice guy, good guy, but a pathetic cuck shitlib who is soooo shocked at the hate and racism and intolerance of the whitelash, and desperately wants to overcompensate and Reach Out to Mudslims to show them Not All White Christians are hateful rednecks.

whereas at the other church, no mention of this stuff, just a bunch of happy white people, including many under-40’s.

all the whites at my usual church are well over 40 hehehehe. plenty of nonwhites.

shit. starting NEW JOB tomorrow. have been doing laundry. planning on bringing 1 dozen donuts tom morning. ask people about their families. ask about what are good books for me to read about this field. i am already reading bla bla by bla bla. here’s some donuts. do you guys drink coffee? i can bring in some folgers, i have some extra folgers at home. sorry its not top shelf, but i can bring in a little top shelf closer to xmas. heres some donuts in the meantime. how many kids u got. where are they going to college? tell me about your graduate program. what do you think about the 14 words hahahaha. so how about that election hahahahaha.

can i take a tough phone call right now? what are the toughest problems you get in here from your “customers”? whats the best way to bullshit them and give them the runaround and say it cant be fixed, it is what it is, you dont have to like it hahahahaha jk i know we go above and beyond for our clients wink wink nudge nudge amirite?

besides, everybody knows that when “it is what it is” just wont cut it, you have to bring out it is what it IS what it is what it is. then that fixes everything. that explains everything. that gets angry people to say OH NOW I GET IT, im so sorry for being such a huge bitch. now that i realise that it is what it IS what it is!!!!! see before, i was thinking it IS what it is.

mother fooking phaggot cvntz hahahaha.

i was thinking i dont DESERVE a woman Without A Past, because IIIIII have a past myself!!!!!!!!!!!

ok fine, but i DO insist the woman is TRULY REPENTANT of her degenerate past! says I am ashamed of my past, i never want to have another abortion, or fook another nonwhite, or have any more casual sex!!!!!! its disgusting and here’s why! I REGRET doing all that.

rather than someone that says oh that makes me who i am, i’m not ashamed, i have no regrets.

GOOD PEOPLE HAVE REGRETS.

shit I have tons of regrets, tons of shame, tons of remorse and repentance for all the degenerate animal shit IVE done. so I DO want THAT much from muh formerly degenerate waifu hahahaha.

if you dont have regrets, I DONT WANT TO KNOW YOU hehehehe.

the bad shit youve done SHOULD be regretted.

muh dbt book says to try not to be judgmental. notice all the times you make a judgment throughout the day, bad OR good, and just let them float away like leaves on a stream.  just observe stuff mindfully and without judgment.

this struck me as kinda weird. i can see trying to stop your bad judgments, but the good ones too?

i mean i make 148800000000000000000000000000000000000000000 negative judgments a day. every damn person i see i judge them. i was sitting in church watching the nice white people coming back from communion and i was judging each and every one of them harshy: fatty. f4ggot. dirty dago. ugly. fat slob. pig. dog. disgusting animal. sissy. nice haircut phaggot. nice manbun phaggot. nice potato shaped body. your kids are brats. your wife is a slut. you have dyed hair, you must be a slut. how many cox you take. how many black guys. how many abortions. wow, fat AND a smoker, youre in great health, you no self discipline weakling.

i mean its truly ridiculous how many negative judgments i make about people, many many many times a day. so YEAH i AGREE, trying to be conscious of that and not doing that would be a GREAT step for me.

really i am nowhere NEAR as HATEFUL and judgmental when i am with actual real people. i always think the best of them.

but from a distance, when i am alone just thinking of people in the abstract, or people watching people from a distance, god damn, its a hugeass hatefest!!!!!!

no not violent hate, but still very bitter butthurt negative pessimistic cynical recrimination!

and WHAT DOES IT GET ME?

HOW DO I BENEFIT?

WHAT GOOD DOES IT DO ME?????

NOTHING!

at a more moderate level, it would have been a natural response to people who have hurt me in the past with slutty or immature or fat or ugly or irresponsible behavior.

but the healthy way for me to do that is to say, ok, here are some red flags to watch out for, but im not gonna look for those red flags in EVERYBODY, and im sure not gonna get MAD about it if they havent done anything to ME.

but yeah. its like my automatic reaction to seeing a person, is to have a NEGATIVE JUDGMENT about them. this is not good!

fat, ugly, slut, phaggot, degenerate. usually one of those. douchebag, asshole, bitch, weirdo, autist, spazz, moron.

i cant stop judging people hahahahaha.

STILL, i INSIST that its worse for women to go out there and let themselves be used as pieces of sex meat, that it is for pathetic omega virgins to jerk off to jooish porn. because in one you have essentially two people hurting each other, in the other, you have one loser hurting himself.

but dont get me wrong, porn is horrible and i am ASHAMED and REGRETFUL that i ever looked at it. well, that i looked at it so MUCH.

and tbh, i was only a little above average i think for American Men Of My Generation. Many men are much, much worse. i was nowhere NEAR a Porn Addict.

hmm sorta watching this movie the lost weekend, i mean i had watched this intently a few years ago, and i think after i stopped drinking as well, and had gained some Understanding of the Baffling Cunning “Disease”, and i still found the movie disappointing and corny, and for some reason it seems better now.

i mean ive been on the straight and narrow path here for the last damn 7 years basically. no booze, a little bit of MJ though. not enough imho hahahahahahaha. gradually became more Alt Right, more JQ, less degen, more principled, just a better person hahaha. although unfort more of a virgin neet loser too hahahaha.

well its been up and down tho. ebb and flow.

was driving home and saw this fat guy and his fat wife in my neighborhood who are always sitting in their backyard smoking cigarettes and being fat, and i thought wow, fat and smoking, good choice buddy, and then i thought ok i shouldnt JUDGE him, he very well could be a very very very nice kind man, very courageous, very strong. nobody is perfect, me neither, and so he just happens to be a fat smoker. nobodys perfect and what if he’s very very nice.

how often do i need to bring in donuts? i dont want to more than once every 2 weeks.

you gotta ask the right questions. what if i ask the WRONG questions? what if i ask DUMB questions???!!?!

so show them i am smart by quoting Big Thought Leaders in this Education Related Field. I read some education books right? hehehe yes the only education books i read were “dumbing us down” by gatto and “the unschooling handbook” by some woman.

both very anti establishment sort of stuff. but which may be considered moer establishment in 2016.

i mean i really SHOULD be more interested in the Field of muh job. which all I will say it is SOMEWHAT education related.

so yeah i think education is bullshit ahhahahahahhahahahaha. all education should be handled by parents.

yeah well what about college level stuff. the job im doing COULD ACTUALLY BE LEGIT USEFUL to a HUHWHYTE NATION as regards “homeschooling” college/grad level material to Learners. It’s GOOD because it can put you into direct contact with Experts and Instructors while minimizing the JOOISH DEGEN (((((COLLEGE EXPERIENCE))))), i will just say that.

MINIMIZING IT!

so yeah this is actually a REALLY good position to be in and i shoul dbe  MOAR grateful!

maybe i should bring bagels instead of donuts? i mean i will actually eat bagels later if people dont eat them all. its easier to save and eat bagels later than donuts.

now you could still use this technology to deliver jooish marxist frankfurt skool degeneracy and mindkilling soulkilling poison into the brains of students, but again, its just a TOOL, that can be used for good OR for bad.

if it helps even one white neet get a good paying job one day, then its worth it.

so in a way, i am working in support of my Dream Career by Helping White Neets.  UP FROM NEETNESS.

well, if they are doing education, technically they are not a neet then hahahahahaha. well how about neets who are only involved in education, because its a LOT easier to go to college than to Get A Job. you just pay shitloads of money (take out loans) and go to some shitty school hahahaha.

honestly just go to your local community college. i PROMISE you its not THAT shitty. better than fookin DEVRY. talk about fookin SKYPES.

besides, to get a good job, you cant just have book knowledge and do good in online college courses. you have to be good with PEOPLE. CUSTOMERS. you have to have MAD CHARISMA and not be autistic!

so how do all these autists get jobs?

uhh the ones that dont get stem degrees from good colleges DONT! they become neets!

so would i feel more comfortable lying to the MMJ doctor about Carpal Tunnel or Back Pain, or Lying about getting Spasms from the meds i take for muh Severe Despair?

great now the poor beta orbiter kid who was in love with his female friend was bullycided into removing his post. because hes such a HORRIBLE PERSON. good lord they hate these pathetic niceguys more than they hate Raepists. seriously. right now he is probably blaming the shit out of himself for being such a horrible person. and he wont let himself grieve properly for a relationship that “didnt exist.” yeah well if he knew her for THREE YEARS it DID exist, no matter how close she felt to HIM, no matter what these degenerate bullies on /relships say.

THAT KID IS BACK ON THE ESCALATOR!

there is ANOTHER post about an opposite secs best friend at the top of the relships hotlist!

GUESS WHAT /R/RELSHIPS, WHEN YOUR “BEST FRIEND” IS THE OPPOSITE SECS, RIDICULOUS DRAMA ENSUES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i guess you can be “friends,” but to identify as “best friends”? HELL NO.

sheeeeeeeeeit tuff times buddy. im sure reddit will say he is a horrible person for thinking he is entitled to something.

yep sad shit man. well at least you can do your JOB and shit you got a NEW JOB within 8 months of getting heartbreakingly dumped! so id say youre doing pretty well. just work 80 hours a week at your new job and smoke MJ the rest of the time. use MJ to bribe tinder wh0res into nihilistic secs hahahaha.

did i get jealous because they were leaving me, or did they leave me because i was getting jealous?

i think i kept my jealousy under wraps PRETTY DAMN WELL until it became clear they were pulling away from me, talking to other guys, and then i’d say i had a PRETTY GOOD REASON to get jealous hehehehe.

so yeah i dont eer push women away because i am “THE JEALOUS TYPE.”

heres a good quote from this one:

”   [–]PaHoua 4 points 49 minutes ago
If you’re the one broken up with, it is very likely you’ll take much longer to move on than the dumper. That person has already been “mourning” the loss of the relationship for a long time and when they finally came to terms with it is when they decided to commit to the action of dumping you.
Think of it like the five steps of grief: 1. Denial; 2. Bargaining; 3. Anger; 4. Depression; 5. Acceptance.
When she reached Acceptance, you weren’t even aware of what was to come. Then she dumped you. You moved into Denial.
This happened to me. I moved back and forth between all of the stages until I got into Acceptance. He was dating within weeks and probably earlier, whereas I remained in between stages for a couple of years.
It takes as long as it takes. That’s all anyone can tell you.     ”

wow a woman saying something very reasonable hahahahaha

 

WE NEET VIRGINS CANT EVEN GET SLOPPY SEVENTHS

nov 23

had weird interesting dream. i was back in college setting, house where i lived, room where i lived, classic house, classic room, some good memories. IRL it was a huge room. in dream there were like 20 people in 20 beds in the room. i was in one. qt gurl was on top of my and had agreed to Teach Me The Ways About Secs because she was wayyyyyy more experienced than me, kind of secs positive SLUT. but she was really qt and nice to me and really not that patronizing. it was woman2007-8, this crazy blond mudshark slut that i was semi friends with for a while and boy did i have no game with her! but she was qt as hell and i sorta liked her and i would prob still give her a chance, if she werent a mudshark, and she got a nicer personality, and she gave ME a chance!

so she gets on top of me and i get very excited and she says, ok you just be patient and in a while i will come back and we will make out and have secs and it will be fun and i wont go too fast!

i was legit excited. except i would prefer that we could get started now and not have me wait 1, 2, 3, ? hours for her to come back.

also in these dreams i rarely ever ACTUALLY make out or have secs with the women. i am often close to them, touching them, cuddling, but never actually going that further step of making out or esp secs.

she leaves.  a few beds down this guy is having secs with his gf and she is making mad O face and he looks pretty chilled and stoned. its a guy i knew like 9 years ago and went to high school with but was never close friends with, but i respected him as a really really nice and good guy, and if i spent more time with him, he had good friend potential. and the dream gf for him was his real life wife. they had a baby i am pretty sure. i am glad for that, he would be a great father and should have at least 3 children. anyway no idea why they appeared in the dream.

most of the other people in the room were degen perverts doing weird ass fetish things. there were these perverted blacks trying to get people to use this weird Sex Machine where the guy got his Rectum Probed by this Anal Probe. I was like um no, not interested. and they were trying to sell me on it, like its super fun, everyone’s doing it, and they were!

i was like well this whole room is full of degen perverts, cant i have some goddam PRIVACY? so i went out of the room and explored the house.

all the other rooms were very similar. basically a huge house orgy, with people having secs everywhere. the idea was that all these gurls were hookers, prostitutes. this light-skinned black gurl started flirting with me and was implying, follow me and we will have secs. i felt kinda weird about race mixing like that, but i figured because it was casual hooker secs and she looked very good for a negress hahahaha. top 10%.

but then i felt like i would be “CHEATING” on the first woman. i didnt realize yet what exactly was going on in this house, and that all the women were hookers. i got nervous and tried to worm out of the situation. also i felt weird that she wanted to have secs with all these damn people in the room watching. i got out of there.

the rest of the dream, i went around looking for the first woman, in rooms full of hookers having secs. I bumped into her a couple times in passing. she was like, just wait for me in the first room, i’ll be back there as soon as I can.

at one point i saw her in another room sucking this sleazy looking guys D, and I felt weird. jealousy like she was so nice to me, and stupid like yeah shes a HOOKER, this is WHAT SHE DOES, sucking and fookin lots of guys. I might like eating sausage but I just saw the sausage getting made. The Ugly Truth.

then i tried finding OTHER hookers I thought were qt so i could maybe have secs with them while waiting. 90% of the hookers were Occupied. I found 2 or 3 hookers and approached them but got either rejected or the runaround every time, which was frustrating.

i went back to the original room which like every room in the house, was like a damn sodom and gomorrah.  i was like this is really sleazy, but i like this gurl, even though she IS a sleazy hooker. cant we just get this over with already. ill have secs with her in front of all these people because her body pressed on mine will be worth it.  and i truly believed that. i could make that leap. yeah she was a degen but i liked her, she gave great service hahaha. give her hooker of the month award.

i walked around nervously. went outside front door where MUH FAMILY was waiting. SURPRISE VISIT hahahaha. i was like oh god theyve caught me red handed in this sodom and gomorrah, they will be so disappointed to think i LIVE here!

and i was like yeah it is more degen than i’d like…..but i really really really want to bang this gurl. also i think i like her, maybe she can be my gf and ultimately wife. she seems like a nice gurl.

i just want some nondegen secs with a GF, and this is the degen place i have to go to get it.

so yeah lots of pretty obviously meanings here.

my mistake was feeling so positively about the woman, rather than thinking she Special and Different from all the degen hookers in the place. because she was sucking and fooking like the rest of them, and would make a horrible gf and wife. so she just happened to be NICE to me. GREAT. just showed how unused i was to qt wimmin being NICE to me.

heh in RL she was never THAT nice to me. because she had an awful personality, was a huge bitch all the time. i honestly dont know how i became friendly with her for like 2 months haha.well cuz she showed SOME niceness and SOME interest in me. that quickly faded out tho. when she saw how boring and beta i was hahaha. and wasnt a hip musician or black thug with herpes. i did have a drinking problem tho! hahaha.

she was legit very qt but was prob bipolar, maybe borderline, huge slut, huge daddy issues, because father was a legit deadbeat. sad. dont do that to white children. then they grow up into ruined mudshark crazy sluts.

TRY TO MAKE YOUR FATHER PROUD OF YOU. BUT NONE OF THESE WOMEN HAVE FATHERS.

and its sad when theres a white man who doesnt care enough about his white daughter to be PROUD of her or not.

no WONDER the woman does things no father would be PROUD of.

anyway. the dream points out how i think that normie women or sluts are LITERALLY whores. like prostitutes, efficiently fooking and sucking one guy after another. but they can still be nice to you, its essentially just Great Customer Service. but youre not even really a customer because theyre doing it for free because they Luv Secs and Secsual Freedom and License. but in my mind, right or wrong, theyre still very much like prostitutes.

heh i even saw in the dream a young wimmin i used to work with at the horrible job. there were 3 attractive women there: That Woman, and two other young women. I would like liked to bang all of them, maybe even Date any of them, but i never really talked to the other women unfortunately. the one who appeared in a dream was a real obnoxious annoying bitch and she thought that made her cute or funny or something. but she had a nice body hahaha.

also it shows how if a woman is nice and friendly to you, and she fooks you and all that, you can START getting feelings for her even if you dont know here, even if you know shes a wh0re. that combination of niceness, and interest, and secs, or even just making out, that can produce oxytocin and Feelings. so you shouldnt have secs with people you just met. but thats how modern women Date. you literally cannot Go Slow Because then she wont see you as a Secsual Person (im not gonna use the word friendzone, but yeah thats essentially what it is. you can say you cant put me in the friendzone, im ending this failing friendship! but in the end you still get nothing either way hahahaha.)

heh. FEDGOV intermittent 12 dollar job called me today and said they were doing interviews right when i am starting my new job. JEEEEEEEEEZ. if it had been a week earlier i would have said yes. now i just let it go to voicemail and i thinking should i call them back in the afternoon. very on fence. i just want to take a break from job searching and get good at muh new job. but i wish the new job were a proper full time job so i wouldnt have to do more job searching ASAP!

i mean its “intermittent” or “casual” which means you arent guaranteed 40 hours. you might just get 20 hours. or 10 hours. then 50 hours. then some split shifts. work for 3 hours. then go home for 6 hours. then go back to work for 5 hours. also there are no sick fedgov benefits.

so. whores might be friendly to you and you might even get feelings for them. but when they are not with you they are out there fooking tons of other guys. dont get feelings for whores. fook them at your convenience, and ideally, just stay away from these degen jooish influences.

http://www.howtogeek.com/247380/how-to-fix-windows-update-when-it-gets-stuck/

this is enough technical support for me, trying to fix my own tech issues. better than a broken hard drive tho. but apparently when you reinstall windows 7 in 2016 it runs into issues with windows update not really updating. or is it? are there really updates it needs but is not getting. lets never find out because its not possible to see into this black box of bullshit hahahaha.

i was listening to the jack benny radio program on sirius radio classics and it seemed like good clean non jooish non degen humor, and i especially liked the character or rochester, how sounds like a ridiculous black house servant. but wasnt jack benny jooish? it almost didnt matter because his style did not seem jooish at all.

YEP he was EXTREMELY 100% jooish.

sweet the windows update fix actually worked. or seems to work.

so is it good proving to myself that i still can get feelings for women who are dirty sluts?

or maybe i shouldnt dislike dirty sluts so much? be more forgiving?

well i MIGHT be forgiving if they actually changed their slutting behavior! and showed me actual interest and loyalty and didnt lose interest in me super quickly!

hey i know the rules. you cant MAKE a woman stop fooking other guys, you cant MAKE them not have a wandering eye hahaha, you cant be too pushy and call or text them too often, or hang out too often, i know all those rules.

and i guess i probably would take a friendly, cute slut over nothing, no one, incel hahahaha. would probably let her fook other guys as long as she didnt stop fooking me. and washed herself after fooking the other guys.

i remember in the dream there was the idea that the women were fooking many guys one after the other, not even washing themselves in between, just oozing with j1zz and the guys (and the women!) just didnt care.

reddit. these people are so degen they think a woman being a CAMWH0RE is a viable valid lifestyle choice like being a stripper. im a college student and to get some extra money i dildo myself on camera. this is normal adn theres nothing wrong with it!

YES THERE IS! would you want to be with someone who thinks this is JUST FINE?

oh you evil controlling abuser

ended in shitty way, he is heartbroekn, she wont respond hehehe

just stop having so much damn SECS with so many damn guys! slow down! close your damn legs! really understand and respect the fact that this is how babies are made and the babies grow inside YOU, in YOUR uterus, so you have much more to lose than those big secsy MEN!

that you fooking these guys is like a pathetic beeta male jerking off to porn all the time!

pathetic and disgusting and degen and jooish!

its not because skydaddy taught me that sex was ebil and immoral, its that he taught me sex is SACRED and HOLY and SUBLIME, and using it as hedonistic pleasure is dsgusting!

HAVE SOME DAMN RESPECT FOR HUMAN LIFE!!!!!

thats the root issue for me. and you dont need to be religious to understand that, and i get even more butthurt when i see people saying that this is a RELIGIOUS issue, when its not!

the only atheists i like are the anti abortion atheists hehehehehe.

https://www.good.is/articles/millennials-celibacy-better-than-sex

what a fookin crock of shit, 25 year old nyc journalist SLUT goes on celibacy thing for ONE MONTH to learn more about her wants and needs and feelings, as if she werent narcissistic enough, but she as just taking a break from fooking 10 guys a month for a month.

http://hazlitt.net/feature/confessions-sexual-skeptic

lena dunham and amy schumer are “WHITE, ABLE BODIED, AND FEMME PRESENTING WOMEN”???

I thought they were fat jooish slob sluts!

the problem with sex positivity is not that its too Cis, its that its too positive and too damn obsessed with sex sex sex sex sex sex. i mean yeah so am i but why not talk about how shameful slutsex is hahaha.

i want a woman who is a PRUDE because she takes sex SERIOUSLY and her role as The Pregnant Sex and NOT because of strict religious stuff, though being religious is probably a positive. but if you have to say oh i dont act like a disgusting joo because GAWWDDDDDDDDDD says no, and not being you think, Its fooking DISGUSTING whether GOD says so or not, well then you are always gonna be tempted to be a disgusting jooish n1993r like these muh dick ape people. dicks out for harambe hahahaha.

you dont need GAWD to tell you that acting like an animal is DISGUSTING. Now you DO need GAWD for plenty of other stuff. like to give meaning to your life….??? well no, being an honorable white person can do that for you. someone that you can show gratitude to? yeah ok. and also show gratitude to people on earth too. but you should have that much gratitude, that you have extra to give to GOD.  GLORIFY HIM.

i guess i am all about sluts today because i had that dream FULL of sluts having LOTS of secs, with that old gurl who was an IRL slut. you know if i had gotten more secs from sluts, had gotten to know more sluts as actual people, i probably wouldnt hate sluts so much AND wouldnt hate casual sex so much. because id be getting plenty of it, and i would see that sluts are people too, and i would figure out how to DEAL with them.

but i havent had those experiences. i havent HAD a lot of secs with sluts. getting secs with good looking sluts is NOT easy. secs with bad looking, old, fat sluts is not easy hahahaha.

i would probably still come to the same conclusion eventually that casual sex is disgusting and bad. but i wouldnt be so damn butthurt by it, and say, yeah, i admit, i had some good times with casual sex and the sluts that provided it. troubled gurls, but not bad people, and i had fun with them, and learned valuable lessons on how to Deal With People from them. how to communicate and handle conflict and handle women.

but nooooooooooooooooo i havent benefited personally from sluts, and really, that is all MY fault, so i am a little ashamed for that. that i am not even man enough to pull the EASIEST women.

the women who give it away easily dont give it easily to me.

well, they dont give it away easily to MOST men! theres the 80 20 idea. that really only 20% of men benefit from sluts.

or is it 50 50? the end result is the same for me hahaha

in fact, its better for me to say that im part of the 80 than the 50 because then i can shift the blame. feel better about myself and worse about women.

but even at 80 20, i still feel pretty bad about myself AND bad abotu women!!!!!!

I always knew i had low mate value so i wasnt even THINKING about going out and Finding Women until i improved myself Career Wise. then that became a damn 4, 5, actually 8 year process that did not produce a ton of results. from total loser to a nonserious job and a ton of College Coursework, to a serious job, to absolutely nothing total loser once again, back to a nonserious job, and less desire than ever to do More Education.

i knew i shouldnt even THINK about Dating without a serious job, and by the time i got one, i was so stressed out i didnt even care about women, didnt care about secs, jerked off even less than usual and only to try to relieve stress. along the way i very easily met a nice female friend and boom i fell in luv with her. damn. but i wasnt LOOKING for her. it literally just happened. i didnt have time or energy or willing to try to date broads off the internet. i just wanted to ease my mind from muh job, sm0ke mj, study my job so i felt prepared and hopefully more calm. i learned the shit pretty well but i didnt feel much calmer. but that was also due to things getting bad with the woman too.

was i an overbearing annoying pathetic stupid idiot bitch to her? of course i was. i never said i wasnt. I KNEW i was being one. yeah i can see how being annoying can ruin a friendship but…..i dont know. i still think she overreacted and could have been more nice and validating and sympathetic to me.

wow like a damn broken record. but i do need to tell myself this stuff multiple times a day. its part of the lonnnnggggg getting over it process.

wow lots of richard spencer in the mainsteam lugenpresse after this years NPI. well good for that phag enabler hahahahaha.

news of upcoming spencer appearance at texas a&m univ getting some news, if he actually does the event i bet that will get some tv coverage tbh

https://www.washingtonpost.com/local/lets-party-like-its-1933-inside-the-disturbing-alt-right-world-of-richard-spencer/2016/11/22/cf81dc74-aff7-11e6-840f-e3ebab6bcdd3_story.html#comments

not a damn word about millennial woes or other conference people hahahaha. all richard spencer. under pressure hahahahaha.

no im glad for the publicity. i would like to go to NPI one year, but I would ESPECIALLY like to go to the TRS gathering in feb 2017. maybe that will make the news. spencer will probably make an appearance there anyway. hes not a bad guy. he is separated from his wife? that sucks.

politico.com higher up fired for posting spencers home address on fb and saying something about how The Good Guys used to visit nazi meetings with bats. lets beat up this NAZI. im glad tbis editor was fired. get a real job phaggot. go prep your wifes bull and pay for your wifes sons sex change operation hahahaha. trump is of couse

nov 24

yeah i should have figured this. MSM would not try to take alt right even semi seeriously, would just call them a bunch of HATEFUL, DANGEROUS NAZIS.

dont be fooled by his top tier education, and his brooks brothers suit, and his neat haircut, and his handsome looks! he’s even more manipulative and bigoted than TRUMP! and what did you expect america, electing trump, you just open the door for more bigots like spencer and the alt right! full blown NAZIS!!!!!

so now i cant even say im alt right to a normie, cuz all normies know is that the alt right is NAZI KKK BIGOT RACIST.

i mean how is this suprising hahahaha.

anyway. moving on to how 2 make 26k a year and get a gf who will not leave you who you actually sort of like and enjoy having traditional secs with them once every two weeks hahahaha and the thought of them nekkid excites rather than disgusts you.

basically, you want to be with them and only them, and arent having second thoughts during a honeymoon period of a substantial period. like 6 months hahahaha.

its not all about are they attractive…..but i have never luved a woman i DIDNT find attractive and did not want to fondle every inch of their body. you want to be with them, and not leave them.

be like john candy, not like steve martin hahahahahahaha. re the planes trains and autos movie. not that steve martin is not a super talented, smart and funny guy. (but hes picked shitty movies recently.) and he’s not jooish. neither is john candy. who died way too young. and the ending about john candy not having a family is sad and heartbreaking. great movie. not too degen at all. john hughes. great goy. died way too young.

oh lord. john candy is having a moment of despair late at night when he talks to his dead wife and sitting in the burned out car in the snow and realized that he is a good natured soul and tried to get along with people, but he just Comes On Too Strong, and Smothers Them, pushes them away. i know that feel hahahaha. thankfully steve martin redeems himself and invites john candy into the hotel room.

i can relate. yeah candy (del) might sometimes smother, but that doesnt make him a bad guy, and he doesnt realize what a huge asshole neil (steve martin) is . so dell was not smothering in this case. he was taking too much responsibility and not giving enough to neil. so he shouldnt blame himself so much or feel so bad.

so yeah i dont really want to SMOTHER people.

well i didnt SMOTHER woman2012 hahaha. i didnt SMOTHER the casual sluts TOO much. who cares. i never had a real rel with them anyway and they dumped me before i smothered them TOO much.

so yeah i dont smother ALL THE TIME with women i like.

kinda hard to smother someone when you dont hang out with them in 10 months.

is texting a little bit most days considered smothering? 100 texts a day, yes sure of course.

also if she didnt respond i wouldnt KEEP texting.

i would just ask every 2 weeks can we hang out please. can we hang out please. PATHETIC. oh i dunno i’ll text you. oh i dunno ill text you. never text.

i mean we were BOTH terrible at confronting the obvious. its not all her fault hahaha.

i just wish she had responded and said no i dont hate you, no you didnt do something horrible, i jsut dont feel that way about you, sorry, the end, wish you well.

you can send that in 1 text message, maybe 2, takes less than 2 minutes.

and THEN if i start harrassing after that, sending shitloads of texts, thats on me, thats me being a bad guy. BUT NOT BEFORE.

then it takes 2 years of you telling yourself this shit to get over it haha

meanwhile they bang 5000000000000 guys and forget about you in 1 minute hahahahahaha. SO COLD. hehehe. all women are that cold hahahaha. cognitive distortion alarm hahaha.

how to take shit

well you just smile and K them with Kindness. Smile and K them with kindness. gotta remember that. turn the other cheek. be like yes sir. sorry sir. im so sorry sir. smile and eat the shit. thats what you are paid for. then when you get out and go home, get drunk and beat your wife and kids. oh wait. you are a meek underemployed loser who cant get or afford a wife or kids. so go home and get drunk and cry because you dont have a wife and kids to beat.

ok no wife and kids to luv or beat, cant drink alcohol cuz were done with that, the obvious answer is to sm0ke MJ till super blazed the second you get home (and pretty much continue until you go to bed) and then ideally do high intensity cardio AND hardcore lifting AND a sauna AND some work related study AND ideally some cuddling and luv with your nonexistent waifu haha.

thanksgiving dinner. the fam is nice people. super working class whites, total types that should be won over by trump but prob voted demonrat 16, 20 years ago. union working class. a couple of the men were like yep i am happy, one guy was like “i am ecstatic, he has balls and is going to clean house”. the women were more like herrrp im not super happy about this jerk trump but oh well i will live and not be like these crybaby protestors, life goes on.  just sensible reactions all around.

and i wish i could do what they do, work low paying hard working jobs, swing shifts, no days off, no holidays off, no extra pay for working on thanksgiving and xmas and new years, never 2 days off in a week, etc, but some of them have been around long enough (25+ years) to have the easier jobs and arent in the same shitty position as the new people being hired in in 2016 making 10 dollars an hour, even shittier hours, seasonal, casual workers, a bunch of shiftless blacks and foreigners, but also plenty of honest poor white working class people in there too. and its so easy to become a damn alcoholic hehehehe.

i suppose if i found myself in that position again, i might start drinking again, just be very careful not to drink and DRIVE.

and then try to quit drinking as soon as i could get ahold of some MJ from a black or mexican or arab at muh working class job hahahaha.

uncle bern talks about richard spencer and NPI and maybe alt right. i really want Uncle Bern to come over to Full Racism, to confront the JQ, to become a countersemite, to become a damn 1488 WN, but i dont think he ever will, but it would be nice if he did. i Grew Up on Uncle Bern and now it seems ive passed him because he has not really developed on the JQ, but he’s MORE than smart enough to have occasion to face the JQ.

http://www.mirror.co.uk/news/uk-news/mystery-british-blogger-speaks-rally-9322583

jooish lugenpresse reports on millennial woes at NPI and supports that he should be doxxed for his hateful, misogynistic, ignorant views. glad to see all the comments are like you are full of shit, MW is a good boi dindu nuffin.

http://www.dailyrecord.co.uk/news/scottish-news/who-mystery-scottish-racist-who-9317228

another uk press article on MW. ok ts the same article, just diff comments, but same general pro-MW sentiment, good. looks like some TRS goys got in there, good. i could see you calling TRS hateful possibly, but to call MW hateful is absolutely ridiculous. he is the least hateful person ever. also, i think some hate is justified in these times. neither TRS nor MW or any of the people I like go over that line, which i guess would be openly encouraging violence and terrorism like some kind of federal informer hahahaha.

http://www.mirror.co.uk/news/world-news/inside-most-racist-town-america-9328501

most racist town in america, harrison, arkansas hahaha they have pro white billboards. sounds like a great place to live hahahaha but probably not a lot of 26k a year jobs there or 25 year old n<4  6.7/10 white trad waifus there hahahahahahahahahaha

not sure how carbs became the worst thing ever, but they are.

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

heheheheheheheh cant forget about that one

this is how women respond to everything and they think its CUTE.

ok ok ok STOP STOP STOP COGNITIVE DISTORTION ALARM. COGNITIVE DISTORTION ALARM.

n1993r alarm.wav hehehehehe

nov 25 2016

http://therightstuff.biz/2016/11/22/how-to-red-pill-your-woman/

heheh i forget theres a TRS regular site with articles

i mean real men wont NEED an article, but On The Fence Borderline Men like me would like reading an article like this hahahaha. like we will ever get a woman who wouldnt dump us IMMEDIATELY anyway hahahaha.

they dont give you the CHANCE to redpill them, theyre already LONG GONE.

i might pull the trigger here and spend 18 dollars to buy a stainless steel old fashioned Safety Razor, ie an old school razor that uses wristcutter razor blades. they say it gives a closer shave AND less discomfort than any of the modern 6000000000 blade gillette razors. not that i like a smooth baby face! its quite phaggy, pedophilic, jooish, feminine, cuck, omega, womanly.

but for those times that you absolutely HAVE to shave, ie job interviews, new job, weddings, funerals, then why not have a good, comfortable shave?

got dbt workbook by mckay and 2 other authors, new harbinger publishers, wahterver. looks promising. little thinner/shorter than i hoped, but not terrible.

looks very promising. hope i will like it hahaha. i dont think i will HATE it.

trying not to think about how All 6.6/10 and above 25 year old single women are All Huge Sociopathic, Abandoning, Horrible Immature Sluts hahahaha. total cog distortion ahahahahah. just gotta not think about it. ignore it. avoid it. and do anything else. like WORK. lift weights. play vidya. powerwalk. ideally would be working at job that did not K me. work and make money. but that is SO HARD to do too. even doing the bare minimum of making 26k a year is SO, SO, SO, SO UNIMAGINABLY hard, a HERCULEAN, SISYPHEAN, ATLEAN effort.

I knew it would be hard, but I didnt think it would be THIS hard.

¯\_(ツ)_/¯   ¯\_(ツ)_/¯  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯   ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

¯\_(ツ)_/¯  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

hehehehehe

sheeeeeeeeeeit.

i had a dream where i was hanging out with WEEV and a bunch of young alt right pro-whites. they were all younger and much higher energy and more confident and nonnevergf than me hahahaha. i was talking to this other guy and he said ok here’s your first assignment, we want to make sure youre not an undercover fed, and i was like ok, I just dont want to do anything violent or illegal hehehehe. somehow i had gotten infected with some sort of wirus where my body was covered with disgusting boils or huge zits everywhere. my mission was to go swimming in a pool filled with a bunch of young joos or antiwhites, and therefore infect all of them with this disgusting affliction. I went ahead and did this. i did not see the results of it and i woke up shortly afterwards.

kinda funny though.

heh got a SNES and n64 emulator, and all these great games, some final fantasy rpg games, classic stuff, and i dont feel like playing them. is it because the keyboard is too hard to learn? i dunno.

hmm thank GOD i did not really fall off the fatwagon on thanksgiving. like its not gonna screw up muh whole month. heh. but my downfall will be eating this goddamn CAKE. fook CAKE.

but you can sit there and just eat straight turkey or whatever all day. lots of protein, low calories. even the gravy is not bad. but start adding stuffing and potatoes and cake and mac and cheese and then you are DONE. FINISHED. instant lardass.

you dont get fat off meat. you get fat off mac and cheese and french fries and pizza and carbs and bread and pasta and noodles. and cake hehehe.

i have gotten better at doing more pushups. what i do is 10 pushups when i get up in the morning, and then throughout the day, just randomly do 6 pushups a couple of times per day. like 3 or 4 of those hehehe.

just stuff me full of fried meat until I am cripplingly obese and provide me with heroic medical care until I gracelessly expire ahahahahahahahahahahahaha

hehehe i WISH i came up with that beautiful poetry hehehehehe.

all right i will try to play final fantasy 6 aka ff3 for snes, which i never had, and which is very very very expensive to buy an snes cartridge for, and was the game prior to the big ff7 on ps1, and i guess ff6 was very acclaimed as well. i recall playing an emulator at leat 5 years ago when i busted out muh actual snes console.

welp played a bunch of ff6. it was ok. not bad but not amazingly awesome. could do a lot lot worse if you are looking for an old fashioned rpg tho.

prob not worth paying 60 bucks for or however much it is on ebay.

again. it was ok but still kinda meh. i did not get sucked into a world like i did with ff10 and 12 for the ps2. although snes is prob the better system, and one i spent way much more time with during muh very formative years.

i could dl a ps2 emulator too hahahahahah. but the games are way way large. i cant believe how small they are for snes games. like 1 mb. so small. a huge game like ff6 is only 2 mb.

MALE FRIENDS WHO GET FEELINGS ARE FALSELY ACCUSED OF BEING NICEGUYSTM

nov 21

went to sears and walmart today, pretty exciting. disappointed by sears, impressed by walmart. well, in terms of price and selection. sears was a much classier place.  but is was super expensive.

walmart had pretty good clothes with its george brand and its wrangler ultimate khakis.

dentists are all k1kes. women are all whores. women are all unreliable flaky children. all businesses are all looking for ways to scam and joo you. see i have all these PARANOID DELUSIONS, nonstop DISTORTIONS, that the world is a worse place than it really is.

make no mistake, its a rough place, and its yet another cog distort to think that the world is FAIR, becuase its NOT…..but there is no need to think that everybody is out to joo you and scam you and abandon you ALL THE TIME, then you become PARANOID and bitter.

really i have to JUST STOP THINKING. almost every thought i have is a negative Distortion, so it helps me just to NOT THINK AT ALL. also dont feel either. stop thinking, stop feeling. every thought or feeling i get is WRONG and needs to be challenged and disputed.

no not all women are sociopaths!

well OBVIOUSLY! Im just bothered that fully HALF of women are!

so thats too damn high! and godawful! reason to despair!

so you just deal with it by learning to spot the sociopaths vs the nonsociopaths, and stay away from the sociopaths!

really the bad thing is when a nonsociopath does a sociopathic THING!

and a sociopathic THING is usually better attributed to Cowardice and Immaturity and Fear, than being an Evil Sociopath!

QED.

ok so.

it is what it is what it is what it is what it is.

thats what you say to satisfy and explain shit for a REAL IRATE customer who is demanding to speak to the manager. (meanwhile you are 35 and have never supervised anyone in your life.)

when it is what it is is just not good enough!

but yeah even though i purposely went to “the whiter walmart” based on the two nearby walmarts, it was still trashier in terms of the customers and the employees than the usual SuperMart I frequent. great place, but just not as good price or selection on some clothes.

probably the best thing is to just order at target online in increments large enough to get free shipping, and then return the shit to a local target if it doesnt fit. repeat process.

http://www.businessinsider.com/things-to-remove-from-resume-2016-11/

34 things that get your res thrown in the garbage hahahaha

wow so if you didnt get a 3.8 gpa in college, dont even put it?

that is like top 10% gpa or better.

so getting a 2.0 is as good as getting a 3.7. got it. fooking phaggots.

very trigger article. triggers many angry cognitive distortions hahahaha.

i bet this bitch only got a 29 on the act and took 29 cox in college hahahahaha the fookin whore

would like to try, at least once, taking brisk walk in the neighborhood at night time, since it now gets dark at 5 pm, but bring a FLASHLIGHT so as to be visible and not suspicious. this could go either way, but i want to try it once.

keto diet supposedly you can lose a lot of weight and not be damn starving all the time hahahaha.

you eat a lot of fats and meats. bacon. hahahaha. no sugar, no carbs. lots of protein, lots of fat, no grains.

bacon, eggs, steak, beef, chickun.

https://authoritynutrition.com/ketogenic-diet-101/

i mean yeah pretty much a new word for the paleo diet hahaha

ok i guess NOT a lot of protein. i mean you can have SOME protein, its nowhere near as bad as CARBS, but high FAT is the main thing. just eat tons of bacon hahahahahaha.

i guess milk is bad because too many carbs, but cheese is fine. butter is fine.

heard about this on the fatherland, two of the guys lost about 50 pounds each doing a keto diet. but i dont really need to lose weight any more!

maybe that woman rejected me because i was too fat at the time and she liked skinny guys hahahahaha. yes i am being intentionally facetious, even i am not so fooked up that i think this way.

so i start the job in december but i technically got the job in NOVEMBER.

this means i can put november on resume and applications and make it look like muh gap was only 16 months instead of 17 months! hahahahahahahahahaha

so yeah keto is like even lower carb than low carb, and you get a keto flu for the first few weeks haha.

heh. this reminds me of that woman, was was also staunchly anti despair meds. that they erase your mind and turn you into a zombie, chemical lobotomy, so the big pharma joos can get more shekels.

i can udnerstand this because i was kinda the same way. however i thought she would judge me and dump me if she knew i was taking them. hey im not thrilled about it either. ideally i wouldnt be. but i really dont think they turn me into a zombie. they dont seem to do much of anything hahahahaha. and its stupid that someone would DUMP their bf over this. bitches amirite hahahaha.

holy shit what a bitch. she is gonna dump him because hes just so cringey and socially awkward. hes a nice guy but hes just not social in the right way and i dont know idk ikr?

reddit HATES christians. good thing he still considers hmself christian. hes jsut having doubts about the no secs till marriage thing. well he still dates gurls, just gets dumped when he says hes saving himself hahahaha.

i would say just bang one of those sluts and be like, i havent had secs in 2 years cuz i was getting over another woman, and because im a warrior of christ, i take human life serious, so im gonna be pretty bad at this, because im not always fooking like some god damn heathen animal negro baalist.

”   My guess? He’s seriously lacking in self-esteem and self-worth, which makes him scared of getting rejected. This is why he doesn’t want to go to bars or do online dating: too high a chance of getting rejected based on physical traits.
This is also why he tries to turn friends into girlfriends. His (flawed) thinking is that he has less chance of getting rejected by someone a friend, because there is already an established closeness and friendship. He’s confusing falsely equating friendly intimacy to romantic intimacy and, ironically, it makes it more likely that he’ll get rejected, simply because women (understandably) hate the bait-and-switch “friendship” of Nice GuysTM , where they pretend to be a friend just to get close and then attempt to turn things romantic.
This dude has to crash and burn a bunch more times before he’ll figure it out. IF he’ll figure it out at all.    ”

ok this guy in this post DOES seem like a niceguytm, but since all women do is bitch about niceguystms all the goddam time, they forget that ITS VERY POSSIBLE for a man and woman to be normal friends, then after a while, the guy DEVELOPS feelings for the woman, it wasnt a bait and switch. he apprecaited the friend intimacy and has decided that he wants to try to upgrade that to romantic intimacy. he knows they are different but possibly similar and possibly related!

ITS NOT ALWAYS A BAIT AND SWITCH!

ITS NOT EVEN A BAIT AND SWITCH MOST OF THE TIME!

but this idea of the niceguytm, i think women are seeing niceguystm where its just an honest, non bait and switch, friend who got feelings! which is VERY VERY different than a niceguytm!

ITS NOT ALWAYS BAIT AND SWITCH! ITS NOT ALWAYS ULTERIOR MOTIVES! ITS NOT ALWAYS WAITING IN THE WINGS!

so i just wanted to stand up for all the male friends who got feelings, who get FALSELY ACCUSED OF BEING NICEGUYS.

YES i TOTALLY understand the idea of a niceguy and why women dont like them! I wouldnt like them!

WHICH IS WHY I DONT LIKE BEING ACCUSED OF BEING ONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

GOD DAMN!!!!!!!!

so now you have to have secs with women you dont even really get along with, to guarantee you arent put in the friendzone if you DO end up getting along with her, but you dont, because she gave it up too fast like a slut hahahaha.

who cares i just want to work my new job and sm0ke mj and wear walmart clothing hhahahahahahaha

all this talk about fookin niceguys MAKES PEOPLE FORGET that there is a LEGIT situation that KINDA looks like niceguyism but its totally not.

WIMMIN FORGET THAT THERE IS ANY OTHER INTERPRETATION OF THIS. THAT HE MIGHT NOT BE A NICEGUY, but that he was just a friend who got feelings.

IF ANYTHING, THATS THE SIMPLER EXPLANATION!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

this gets me really rustled and triggered because thats essentially what happened to me. she accused me of being a deceptive, bait and switch nice guy, when i wasnt, when i KNOW thats bad, when i was just a plain old friend who got feelings!!!!!!

well i dont KNOW that she ACCUSED me of that, but her actions are more consistent with her being mad at me for being a Bait And Switch Niceguy, than her being Understanding of me being a Friend Who Got Feeligns!!!!!!!!!!!

I KNOW WHY NICEGUYS ARE BAD! I DONT WANT TO BE LIKE THAT!!! DONT THINK OF ME LIKE THAT!!!! THERES A MUCH MORE REASONABLE EXPLANATION FOR ALL THIS!!!! WHY WONT YOU BELIEVE IT!!!!! OH GOD IM NOT JUST DELUDING MYSELF AM I???????

nov 22

yeah so that bugs the shit out of me. when people read your mind wrong. when they think youre thinking something youre not, and dont even give you a chance to respond to the bullshit accusations.

no i DONT feel entitled to Secs or a rel with you! but i DO kinda feel entitled to a CHANCE TO DEFEND MYSELF AGAINST THESE BULLSHIT ACCUSATIONS!

its like they think this niceguy explanation is reasonable, while the MUCH MORE REASONABLE explanation of Friend Who Got Feelings, isnt even CONSIDERED. THATS what bothers me.

and whats WRONG with seeing the nice Friendship Intimacy and thinking, wow, this is really nice, maybe this could develop into an even more serious form of intimacy!

its not the SAME THING, but there is a similarity in that they are both forms of intimacy. might be more of a difference in degree than in kind.

and this bullshit about putting in the niceguy coins and feeling entitled to a relship……more bullshit lies trying to build up this niceguy narrative.

i just hate all this talk about niceguys and how every time theres a guy getting feelings hes a NICEGUYTM.

back before all this niceguy shit people had a much more healthy view of this, namely, sometimes men get feelings for their female friends, it gets complicated, but sometimes a very nice relship can come out of it. you gotta gamble and roll the dice. go all in. when harry met sally haahhaah. he wasnt a NICEGUY was he?

i already went all in and lost! i dont want to be accused of my motives being something theyre not!

insult to injury!

MY AIM IS TRUE hahahahaah.

i dont deny that niceguy situations happen. i just dont think they happen in more than 25% of cases of Feelings In A Friendship. whereas the women bloggers and redditors would have you beleive it happens a full 100% of the time, that its the ONLY explanation, which is TOTAL FOOKING BULLSHIT.

so yeah it INFURIATES me when this bullshit nonsense is used by someone who was important to me, who was a real friend, who got caught up in this horrible narrative, didnt even want to listen to me explain myself, and automatically assumed the worst about me.

i dont feel entitled to a relship with you, I KNOW its a huge gamble. i DO feel KINDA entitled to you just fooking LISTENING to me and TRYING to understand my point of view. and i didnt get that at ALL.

JUST LISTEN TO ME. LISTEN TO ME PLEASE. PLEASE LISTEN.

I DONT THINK THATS TOO FOOKING MUCH TO ASK.

yes asking for a full blown romantic rel is too much to ask, and yeah i did WANT it. but is it wrong to WANT it? i dont think so.

was watching a documentary on tcm last night about shit happening in chile in the early 70s. basically boiled down to fascists vs communists so, very interesting. i know it ultimately ended in the rise of the great general pinochet ahahhahahaha. but it was kinda confusing too.  the filmmakers were clearly on the side of the commies unfort.  and i guess the US was involved in supporting the “fascists.”

the movie did not explain shit very well at all. like oh this guy is the damn president allende. allende is a communist. how many parties are in the govt. how socialist was allende. what are these employer organizations. what damn year is this. what are the exact charges being brought. who is “the opposition.” the opposition was actually the right wing, fascist, anti-allende people. pinochet wasnt even MENTIONED in the first 100 minutes hahaha.

men do all the EMOTIONAL LABOR, all the RELATIONSHIP LABOR hahahahaha.

well maybe not all men. just me. I am sick of doing ALL the labor. there needs to be an equitable division of relationship labor.

ok i do concede that probably ALL WOMEN have experienced the Cringeyness of a Niceguy at least once in their lives.

(something is “cringey”? SUCH FIRST WORLD PROBLEMS! There are worse things than to CRINGE! methinks the LADY DOTH PROTEST TOO MUCH!!!!!!)

but women have experienced a GAMUT of relship drama that men havent, cuz women are always in relships, thats only fair, because women are the supply, men are the demand, so of COURSE women will always be in relships and dealing with the weird drama inherent therein.

but is weird drama REALLY THAT inherent to relships? or do the women just manufacture the drama because they NEED the drama because theyre crazy and neurotic?

thats pretty jooish hahahaha.

i want a woman who isnt so damn jooish.

heard a ridiculous story of Restaurant Drama recently. 22 year old waitress is recently divorced, has several young kids. she Quickly Hooks Up with a male server at her workplace. they quickly move in together. i guess he is a little older. it gets Hot N Heavy. after not too long they have a fight and she goes out partying with other male employees from the restaurant, dumps the BF. the BF beats the shit out of the woman, he goes to jail, she goes to hospital. the very next day, they are both scheduled to work at the same damn time. but they are essentially both quitting immediately.

and this is not some trashy dump of a restaurant either!

and i wouldnt be surprised if these are all white people!

but i dont know that. they could well be arabs or albanians……which would be easier to swallow. for me hahaha.

but yeah this is what they mean when they say the restaurant world is degen as fook. wouldnt be surprised if there is some coke and booze and pain pills involved in here too.

if i were in a situation like that, would I want to BEAT the woman?

i’ve never beaten a woman by my current advanced age hahaha so that bodes well, i prob never will.

but the weird truth is, ive never been CLOSE enough to a woman to beat them!

beating usually comes when there is relship trouble. meaning you have to actually HAVE a relship AND the woman hasn’t just walked away. shes gotta sorta stay with you for at least a few days for you to BEAT her.

i mean ive DEFINITELY got angry. wished so and so would get R’d by a pack of N’s, maybe i should B muh brains out right in front of her, all sorts of violent thoughts hahahaha.

i could see myself punching a wall or slamming a door, which is now seen as Abuse.

SLAMMING A DOOR IS ABUSE. come on.

well punching the wall is abuse because it shows you want to punch HER.

i can definitely see myself raising my voice and screaming like a fookin madman and going on a rant like a crazy person. screaming at the top of my lungs in total mad mel fashion. is that abuse?

probably. i am a bad man, a woman abuser, a woman beater then hahahaha.

writing long emails is abuse.

wanting someone to hang out with you is abuse hehehehe.

wanting someone to listen to your side of the story is abuse.

wanting somebody to not falsely accuse you is abuse hehehehehehe.

i mean i want to know if i did something wrong becuase i dont like doing wrong things. i WANT to feel guilt and shame for doing bad, and then learn to do better in the future.

well thing is, i have felt SO bad, that i WOULD have paid penance if i HAD done something really bad! in other words, i’ve already felt enough guilt to atone for something REALLY bad like cheating!

but i didnt do anything NEARLY that bad!

i wasnt completely innocent, but this was like a PARKING TICKET, not a damn FELONY. and i felt TOO MUCH guilt and pain!

i needed her to come out and say this was a parking ticket, not a felony. but she didnt deny it was a felony, and kinda acted like it was a felony, and i felt great guilt and pain as if it were a felony!

well at least i know if I DID do something bad, i would feel appropriately bad about it! remorse and guilt and shame and all that.

got columbia steens mountain fleece jacket, Large, plain black. looks great, TINY bit bigger than i expected, but not horrendously big, dont think i should have gotten a M.

might be worth getting another one in a different color. they have a lot of great colors.

how do you tell an angry caller that their broken piece of shit is not covered by the warranty?

look up the 14880000000 page/item warranty contact for their item, read, understand, and explain. ITS SIMPLE GOY!

but doesnt it take hours to read that long document with 60000000000 paragraphs and conditions?

isnt that shit written in very obtuse legal language?

dont you have good Reading Comprehension Skills goy? Read And Understand! read the words on the page! can’t you read words and understand what they MEAN? maybe youre not the best fit for this job goy!

i just hated how she was better at that shit than me, yet she couldn’t understand what our situation meant.

shit she didnt understand those long documents either. she would just say sorry nothing we can do. just start the shit over again, sorry, anything else i can help you with?

how can the most fooked up violent drug addicted degenerates WORK and make money as a Waiter? then have a violent bipolar meltdown, then just get another job at another restaurant because everyone who works in restaurants is like this?

you just need to be overly confident, good at bullshitting, and a good people person.

i am not at all confident, but i am sorta ok sometimes at bullshitting, and actually about an average people person, maybe even slightly above! just because i am nice to customers and i actually want to help them. i approach them in good faith. i give them good faith efforts, well actually way above and beyond.

but this is because i am a people pleaser. and that is BAD.

but is it worse than being a Bad People Person? probably NOT.

so i got that going for me hahahaha.

am i just blowing this niceguy thing out of proportion? IVE BEEN KNOWN TO DO THAT SOMETIMES hahaha.

i mean some women arent even aware of the Whole Niceguy Meme.

Maybe they have a Reasonable View of Niceguys Vs Friend Who Got Feelings.

Maybe they are willing to listen to the guys point of view rather than BTFO him pure fooking armageddon.

claimed 2 allowances on muh w4 because i couldnt remember. now i think i usually claim 0, which means fedgov OVERWITHHOLDS, therefore I am OVERPAYING taxes with every paycheck, therefore i get a decent REFUND in april.

but this time i actually read and followed the instructions for w4, which, if im reading them correctly, and IM NOT SURE I AM, guided me to choose 2. so i put 2. but i never remember putting 2 before!

so im trying 2 now. see how it goes. i might have to PAY TAXES in april then.

i kinda wanted to try this, because of the theory that Overwithholding (ie using 0) is like “letting FEDGOV borrow your money interest free!” and since i dont like fedgov using my money for FREE, then this year i am going to Claim 2 Allowances. maybe i should have started slow with 1.

but i was just following the damn instructions!

but the instructions are so unclear, its like reading a WARRANTY CONTRACT hahahaha.

so how do i figure this out?

call the IRS help desk, where a guy no more trained than me reads the exact same thing as i did, and uses his not so superior powers of Reading Comprehension. READ AND UNDERSTAND hahahaha.

so i kinda want to get a Cheap Sweatshirt. Black. something like Hanes or Fruit of the Loom or Champion or something. what i learned this week is that i can go to WALMART and get something like that for 5 bucks. PERFECT.

went to local restaurant on a monday night and it was PACKED with people. there were a lot of attractive women in there, and almost every young girl working there as a waitress was young and qt af, easily 8/10 hahahaha. it was INSANE.

and then i feel butthurt like these qt young girls can handle this job, but i couldnt. well theyre sluts who take 20 cox by age 20. but i wish they would take MY coq! but im too weird and creepy for them!

https://upfrommorallylazyloserness.wordpress.com/2016/01/31/relationship-nventory/

ayyyy lets link back to this one, just say its a top 10% post

heres a fooking happy place and good memories: i was 21, 22 years old, and i would get together with these two guys who were real good guys, and we would play mario kart 64 on n64 and sm0ke MJ. get blazed as fook and have intense hours of mario kart competition. MJ is degen and vidya is degen but those were honestly some of the happiest times of muh life. that did not involve making out and falling in luv with some casual slut hahahaha.

i would very much like to get ahold of kart 64 and do this again in the future. i dont care about any of the other versions. its gotta be 64. best mario kart ever.

go to all u can eat grill place and get bowls o beef. stuff self like fat slob. discover you still havent gone over on calories because you mostly ate Straight Beef and very little noodles. basically had bowls of beef with a smidgen of rice noodles and tons of spices. i guess the sauces probably had calories in them hahaha.

so yeah lesson learned, eat no noodles, eat tons of fatty meats hahahaha. their sirloin and ny strip beef was not fatty enough for my ideal, but it was still very tasty. i was very  THANKFUL.

downloading an n64 emulator so i can try playing kart 64 and mario golf 64 on the computer hehehehe.

http://www.emuparadise.me/roms/n64/

horry sheet it actually WORKS. i am playing kart RIGHT NOW.

its pretty hard with the keyboard is the thing though.

welp might as well try mario golf then hahahahaha

done. looks pretty good man!

zelda ocarina of time??! SHUT UP AND TAKE MUH MONEY.jpg hahahahahahaha

i mean yeah. that is an experience i would like to share with muh aryan tradwaifu, wherever she is hahahaha. would get blazed like n1993rs, have intimate, loving, and maybe slightly rough secs, have tender cuddling, sm0ke moar mj, then play mario kart 64. watch triumph of the will. cuddle.

this is all shit i wanted to do with HER of course, daydreamed about all that. but the good lord vetoed that dream hahaha. that woman vetoed the dream because she didnt want to do that. i didnt say she HAD to, i just said it would be NICE. it would be really really NICE.

was i LAME and CRINGEY to her? absolutely i was, VERY MUCH CRINGE. I NEVER denied that hahaha.

ooooh boy this sucks. i would HOPE for some UNDERSTANDING and EMPATHY from muh gf to not goddamn JUDGE me just because i am not as successful and dont luv muh career as much as she does, so therefore i have too many ISSUES and we need to go on BREAK and FIX myself, and she’s always gonna hold it over his head that he’s not quite FIXED himself enough, so ultimatum, she’s gonna leave. jeezum crow.

i just hate this shit. welp your career isnt fulfilling you quite enough for ME, therefore im gonna leave you because youre not QUITE where i think you should be in your career. oh well its not just me, you admitted you werent happy in your career! so get happy on MY timeframe or i will leave you. i warned you already, this is your final chance, goddamn, so incorrigible and stubborn, cant improve his career fast enough, ill just dump you and find a man who is secure and happy in his career.

fookin bitch hahahaha.