may 25


Some men can’t get laid at all
I think this is a bigger issue than most men care to admit. The Reddit subs r/incels and r/ForeverAlone were real eye openers for me. Sure, some of those guys are straight up freaks and weirdos, but most of them are normal dudes. There’s a story on one of those subs where a guy went 12 years without any affection. He said he would have been better off in prison, because at least he would now have some street cred.

I work with a guy who makes about $50k a year, is 30 or 31 years old, and, as far as I know, is a virgin. He’s been there 7 years and has never dated anyone nor mentioned an ex-girlfriend. It’s very doubtful that he’s gay.

Now that I’m thinking about it I know like 3 other dudes like that. Most are above average income, college grads, late 20’s to mid 30’s, have their own place, decent cars, and so on. Normal by all accounts looks and personality wise.

Speaking of college, there was a huge survey done a few years ago on college sexual culture. It had something outreagous like 20k participants. END

good point sir hahaha

yeah i like the idea of anglin bringing in more young men by writing about women. i agree. da jooz caused all this, but the WQ hits more men right in the feels.

backup of whole thread hehehehe

I just bought Defensive Racism: An Unapologetic Examination of Racial Differences @AbeBooks

hahahahahaha yes i did

in fact yes. it may be anglin reaching out to the mgtow/manosphere types, as doctor mayhem encourages, and so do I, that brings The Movement to The Next Level. rather than shaming and shunning mgtows. but yeah mgtows are pretty shameful hahahaha. but i was one of them! and atm, only a minority of DS guys really understand mgtows hehehe. i mean theyre not all bad. its natural to avoid a group that has caused you great harm!

normies can get the WQ a lot more readily than the JQ. and then we can use the WQ to redpill them on the JQ. it was a big part of how i was redpilled on JQ!

chris cornell dying has got me thinking of layne staley and AIC, who i used to like quite a bit, and staley perfectly captured the plight of the modern white male. he was RIDICULOUSLY good looking before he got too into the drugs. and then he quickly got swept away with the drugs. it was amazing he lasted as long as he did. apparently he was in REALLY bad shape near the end.

but in spite of all this, he was a topkek singer.

and facelift is by far the AIC album i’ve heard the LEAST, which is SHAMEFUL, because its clearly got great songs. Prob their heaviest album and not as Drug Degenerate as Dirt or self titled. and of course I dont bother with the new stuff at all.

its amazing the music isnt MORE despairing. I think “self titled” reflects that despair most actually. is the most nihilistic and ugly and degenerate album they ever did. pretty good album too!

but on facelift they were super young and full of energy. high energy, high inspiration. layne was still healthy and secsy.

also i didnt really want to listen to AIC the past 2 years because That Woman was a big AIC fan. I thought that was very very kewl about her. Now i realize lots of millennial sluts like nihilist 90s grunge stuff. never get fooled by a womans musical taste. it doesnt mean theyre cool. if anything she was as big a degenerate as layne staley was. its all about feels and feeling good and chasing the next high.  not understanding that you have to try to rise ABOVE the despair, not glorify it and wallow in it and sink deeper in it. AIC was a great mirror of the symptoms and the frustration, but never really the cure for our spiritual and racial disease.

again, dont measure a woman by a mans standards. you will ALWAYS be disappointed. its not FAIR to them, and not fair to you. its like measuring a CHILD by an ADULTS standards. see what im saying? nome sayin ?

gonna listen to taake album stridens hus. they say this is boring but basically i want to see if the drums sound more real than they do on noregs vaapen. everybody luvs NV but I think it sounds boring and lifeless because those drums sound like a damn machine and i cant believe no one has noticed.

hehehe.  speaking of degenerates who never saw a way out of their degeneracy and take the lazy way out of drugs or alcohol hahaha. whereas staley K’d himself with heroin, this guy is slowly k’ing himself with alcohol.

i dont even know that hes a Big Drinker! Im just ASSUMING! i’m only assuming because he is a bit edgy and degen (“making out” with that degen kvarforth was a super degen thing to do hehehe. i keep forgetting about that shameful incident.)

listened to a bit of the stridens hus album. i do not like the production. guitar sound on NV is better. but drum sound on SH is better. BUT I think it might still be a machine on SH. i mean its not a BAD sounding machine in EITHER case, but yeah. overall the album sounds worse. guitar sound is too thin. i dunno. it didnt strke me positively and i hate being FORCED to put in a huge effort with music. that was a luxury i cant afford, only thought i could afford it when i was young. now im old, have wasted too much time, and have WAY bigger fish to fry. better to struggle thru reading MEIN KAMPF than struggle listening to a boring album hahaha.

took 2 benedryl. took powerwalk. now it is 744 pm. not going to take any more benedryl.

damn i want some MJ. is the start of muh weekend here. thankful to have an easy job with very nice people. but then feel guilt for being a timid meek non charming weirdo whos only doing an average job and not really impressing anyone with great work or great witty banter.

but everyone is still nice to me and i still make an effort to BE nice and I think that gets across. but im just not IMPRESSIVE, like wow that guy is AWESOME, i’d let my daughter date HIM. he deserves to make 30k a year! i want to hang out with him, he’s so much FUN and so FUNNY and SMART and has such great STORIES and makes me LAUGH! i dont do any of that. it has never come naturally. there was a semi social workplace lunch today and i had great trouble bantering at the same level as everyone else. i just sat there and smiled and tried as hard as i could to see normal. yeah he’s quiet, but he really is normal, i swear.

one day i would like to go to an RAC/Hwyte Power Music show. ideally it would be vapaudenristi and that guy would start explicitly calling for VVN rather than a New Dynamic Nationalism, which sounds really bad and sends a worse message than he intends. But its SO HARD to UNDERSTAND that guy, i’d have to talk to him in person because unfortunately he writes a bit like a joo. i dont think he means to. i think he is just an autist. hes def not a joo. he just writes like a huge autist.

anyway he cites full blown 1433 RAC bands like Sniper, Bully Boys, and No Remorse as influences. I tried listenign to Skrewdriver and was unimpressed. Tried listening to No Remorse and was kinda unimpressed as well.  i think you need to go to a live show and actually watch skinheads getting pumped up about hailing victory. but you cant just play a show of NEO NATSEE SKINHEADS in a public place.

nice hehehe. also a new CB album which i had not heard about. very nice.

woody allen can go in the oven, there is no redeeming value to him. kubrick, on the other hand, is possibly the greatest joo who ever lived, approaching a level of greatness that i thought could only be dreamed of by hwytes, which makes one think kubrick was joo wise and loathed his own jooishness, as he should hahahaha.

there is conspiracy that he was K’d by hollywood joos for coming too close ot the truth in “eyes wide shut” which is an amazing, haunting movie which ive long enjoyed and should really watch again soon.

contains some of kubricks best scenes and haunting moments.  yes it depicts a degen world and i dont think its glorifying it. but rather showing the joos as a horrifying synagogue of satan hahahaha.

also very redpilled on the WQ as well. with nicole kidmans haunting confession that she would have abandoned her family for just one night with the secsy sailor.

the movie blew me away when i first saw it and it still blows me away. kinda like mulholland drive. now that is a good movie weekend hehehehe. holy shit. not sure which one you should watch first.

may 26

oh jeebus the jooish kike coont who  bitched at richard spencer in the alexandria virg GYM and got HIM KICKED OUT of his gym membership is writing an editorial for the WaPo right now on how its our duty to shame and shun and shut down hateful hwytes like spencer.

thankfully there are tons of comments on the jooish wapo stating that this is too much, she is in the wrong, this is stupid af.

small souled bugmen hahahahaha. i guess weev got this “meme” from MPC. i guess PMAN is signalling against DS and TRS and spencer, and they are signalling against him. i dunno anymore hahaha but MPC has had a lot of great, smart discussion. i wont countersignal them. of COURSE PMAN is an asshole and says assholey things about everybody because he is really a lonely middle aged man that gets NO pleasure hahahaha.

but yeah facelift might be layne’s best vocal performance. (AIC). he is in good health and it shows. and he was certainly STILL doing too many unhealthy things i’m SURE. it just hadn’t caught up to him yet. and yeah 54 minutes is way too long for an album. their LPs were too long. EPs were a good length.

back in the nihilistic 90s, all you could do to express your hwyte despair and angst was to do heroin and grunge. there was no positive channel for you. no solution to the Questions. nowadays we have an Answer to the Questions and young men don’t have to turn down a path of drugs, degeneracy, despair, and nihilism, and turn into layne staley or worse.

yeah i mean hwyte racial consciousness was always there, but it is at a PEAK RIGHT NOW, which is awesome. back in the early 90s, you were already a confirmed loser if you fell in with the neo nazi crowd.

but i you do have a respect stormfront for being around WAY back in the day. i mean they were around in the early days of the internet. just not sure how much they ever appealed to 20 year old kids, as opposed to just 40 and older demographic.  you NEED the young people to give ENERGY and “Coolness” and….YOUTH! gives it a sense of being a really passionate, hot-blooded, forward-looking movement. young people starting their lives and hopefully having children.

you absolutely NEED the young people, I hope I never disagree with this. the young people are the future!

day off. 2 benedryl last night, got good sleep for 10 hours and 30 minutes hehehe. did grocery shopping, got some smores ice cream. have to make separate stop for that.

had dream with woman i was in luv with 14 fookin years ago. well like 13.5 years hahahaha. i lost my mind over her and handled that terribly. she clearly was not into me and i did not know how to handle it. still she wasnt a horrible bitch and i wish her well. i still would have committed a solid 2 years to her hahahahaa. she was a little crazy but i dont think she was sluttier than average. she married a white guy and i hope they have children. but yeah in the dream she was showing a little bit of interest in me so i advanced on her and started making out with her. that was nice.

great feeling. youve got to MAINTAIN that level of confidence however, or else the gurl will dump you for being underconfident. and i do actually know that from actual experience hehehe.  it becomes a self fulfulling prophecy, because you’re constantly worried you’re gonna fook up. and then that translates into you actually fooking up. and then the gurl BOLTS. as is their nature when a guy loses his cool. cant really BLAME them. can only blame yourself for being so weak and pvssified hahahaha.

that EXACT weakness that women hate, i mean i can FEEL that within myself. it is a real thing. i cant blame them for hating it. i dont like it either! i just wish they were a little bit more forgiving of it!

gave you THREE strikes instead of ONE!

well you can tell them EAT SHIT, N1GLET hahahaha. (MPC meme)

tfw when you see the word mudslides on the weather website and your first thought is that it says MUDSHARKS


took powerwalk, beautiful day, listened to MK and emily youcis’s nice long interview of may 2017. real good interview, needs to be shared far and wide.

so really I was off base by thinking white sharia means savagely abusing women. i blame weev for writing about breaking womens bones and beating them to death hahahaha. even he doesnt really MEAN it, he’s just a true woman hater like me. and even hardcore women haters like us dont really want to savagely abuse women!!!!! we KNOW its wrong! but he should really edit the end of that article so as not to give people the WRONG idea. anglin has an article a few days ago that puts things into perspective. i figured it would take a few weeks for things to clear up. i was right hahaha.

27% thru MK hehehe. i have resolved to read the ENTIRE book. cover to cover. boring bits and all.

bought 40 dollars of bitcoin today. wanted to make a bigger buy. still buying 10 dollars a week. but i wanted to make a substantial buy as it is currently going TO THE MOON. if i had bought a substantial buy a few months ago……i would ahve made a lot of shekels by now.

i think early alice in chains was partially trying to be KINDA like a seattle version of a Hard Rock band like GUNS N ROSES. which is not a problem. what im saying is that its hard to label the facelift album as “GRUNGE” and there are parts that are kinda guns n rosey. alongside with some arguably grunge riffs, but wtf is “grunge” anyway. in a way you could also compare it to the “groove” metal of pantera, which was coming out around the same time.

it was all degenerate hahahahaha

young white men getting drunk and high like negros.

i can judge it and condemn it because I DID IT TOO!!!!!!!!!!!

except i didnt get .000000000000000000001% of the pvssy these guys got. could BARELY even pull ONE woman. while they banged hundreds of sluts. which is not something to be PROUD of. but i think i’d rather bang 100 sluts than bang 1 or 2 sluts and then have a 13 year drought during my entire 20s hahahaha.

i think i would take too much over too little. at least then i would have the skills to pull The Unicorn Woman. and i would just need the Discernment. Well now I have the Discernment but not the skills!

some people have the skills but never learn the discernment!

how did i learn the discernment but never the skills?

ive technically LEARNED the skills. theres not much to learn: be masculine. be confident. be dominant. and doing those things is not complicated. its just a matter of NOT CHOKING when you are Up To Bat.

drinking SORTA helped me with liquid courage….at first. i prob wouldnt have gotten the very limited action i did without it. but there were PLENTY of times when i was at parties with tons of young sluts around, and I was getting RAGING drunk, and it still wasnt enough to give me the courage to talk to damn SLUTS. shameful! i would just start blubbering incoherently and i knew that wasnt gonna pull the skanks. sure as hell wasnt gonna do any good with the good woman either! who would not be going to big drunken parties anyway!

but yeah i liked to drink. it was all to ESCAPE the feelings of being a weak undesirable uncool loser failure. an unmanly man, a coward, a pussy, etc.

Image result for adolf hitler 1 weltkrieg

AH looked a little more normie when he was young and just had a much more normal mustache. he was very handsome and kinda looks like varg vikernes hahahaha. i am sure VV would appreciate me saying that hahaha.

this was around 1915 when he was 26.




nov 23

had weird interesting dream. i was back in college setting, house where i lived, room where i lived, classic house, classic room, some good memories. IRL it was a huge room. in dream there were like 20 people in 20 beds in the room. i was in one. qt gurl was on top of my and had agreed to Teach Me The Ways About Secs because she was wayyyyyy more experienced than me, kind of secs positive SLUT. but she was really qt and nice to me and really not that patronizing. it was woman2007-8, this crazy blond mudshark slut that i was semi friends with for a while and boy did i have no game with her! but she was qt as hell and i sorta liked her and i would prob still give her a chance, if she werent a mudshark, and she got a nicer personality, and she gave ME a chance!

so she gets on top of me and i get very excited and she says, ok you just be patient and in a while i will come back and we will make out and have secs and it will be fun and i wont go too fast!

i was legit excited. except i would prefer that we could get started now and not have me wait 1, 2, 3, ? hours for her to come back.

also in these dreams i rarely ever ACTUALLY make out or have secs with the women. i am often close to them, touching them, cuddling, but never actually going that further step of making out or esp secs.

she leaves.  a few beds down this guy is having secs with his gf and she is making mad O face and he looks pretty chilled and stoned. its a guy i knew like 9 years ago and went to high school with but was never close friends with, but i respected him as a really really nice and good guy, and if i spent more time with him, he had good friend potential. and the dream gf for him was his real life wife. they had a baby i am pretty sure. i am glad for that, he would be a great father and should have at least 3 children. anyway no idea why they appeared in the dream.

most of the other people in the room were degen perverts doing weird ass fetish things. there were these perverted blacks trying to get people to use this weird Sex Machine where the guy got his Rectum Probed by this Anal Probe. I was like um no, not interested. and they were trying to sell me on it, like its super fun, everyone’s doing it, and they were!

i was like well this whole room is full of degen perverts, cant i have some goddam PRIVACY? so i went out of the room and explored the house.

all the other rooms were very similar. basically a huge house orgy, with people having secs everywhere. the idea was that all these gurls were hookers, prostitutes. this light-skinned black gurl started flirting with me and was implying, follow me and we will have secs. i felt kinda weird about race mixing like that, but i figured because it was casual hooker secs and she looked very good for a negress hahahaha. top 10%.

but then i felt like i would be “CHEATING” on the first woman. i didnt realize yet what exactly was going on in this house, and that all the women were hookers. i got nervous and tried to worm out of the situation. also i felt weird that she wanted to have secs with all these damn people in the room watching. i got out of there.

the rest of the dream, i went around looking for the first woman, in rooms full of hookers having secs. I bumped into her a couple times in passing. she was like, just wait for me in the first room, i’ll be back there as soon as I can.

at one point i saw her in another room sucking this sleazy looking guys D, and I felt weird. jealousy like she was so nice to me, and stupid like yeah shes a HOOKER, this is WHAT SHE DOES, sucking and fookin lots of guys. I might like eating sausage but I just saw the sausage getting made. The Ugly Truth.

then i tried finding OTHER hookers I thought were qt so i could maybe have secs with them while waiting. 90% of the hookers were Occupied. I found 2 or 3 hookers and approached them but got either rejected or the runaround every time, which was frustrating.

i went back to the original room which like every room in the house, was like a damn sodom and gomorrah.  i was like this is really sleazy, but i like this gurl, even though she IS a sleazy hooker. cant we just get this over with already. ill have secs with her in front of all these people because her body pressed on mine will be worth it.  and i truly believed that. i could make that leap. yeah she was a degen but i liked her, she gave great service hahaha. give her hooker of the month award.

i walked around nervously. went outside front door where MUH FAMILY was waiting. SURPRISE VISIT hahahaha. i was like oh god theyve caught me red handed in this sodom and gomorrah, they will be so disappointed to think i LIVE here!

and i was like yeah it is more degen than i’d like…..but i really really really want to bang this gurl. also i think i like her, maybe she can be my gf and ultimately wife. she seems like a nice gurl.

i just want some nondegen secs with a GF, and this is the degen place i have to go to get it.

so yeah lots of pretty obviously meanings here.

my mistake was feeling so positively about the woman, rather than thinking she Special and Different from all the degen hookers in the place. because she was sucking and fooking like the rest of them, and would make a horrible gf and wife. so she just happened to be NICE to me. GREAT. just showed how unused i was to qt wimmin being NICE to me.

heh in RL she was never THAT nice to me. because she had an awful personality, was a huge bitch all the time. i honestly dont know how i became friendly with her for like 2 months haha.well cuz she showed SOME niceness and SOME interest in me. that quickly faded out tho. when she saw how boring and beta i was hahaha. and wasnt a hip musician or black thug with herpes. i did have a drinking problem tho! hahaha.

she was legit very qt but was prob bipolar, maybe borderline, huge slut, huge daddy issues, because father was a legit deadbeat. sad. dont do that to white children. then they grow up into ruined mudshark crazy sluts.


and its sad when theres a white man who doesnt care enough about his white daughter to be PROUD of her or not.

no WONDER the woman does things no father would be PROUD of.

anyway. the dream points out how i think that normie women or sluts are LITERALLY whores. like prostitutes, efficiently fooking and sucking one guy after another. but they can still be nice to you, its essentially just Great Customer Service. but youre not even really a customer because theyre doing it for free because they Luv Secs and Secsual Freedom and License. but in my mind, right or wrong, theyre still very much like prostitutes.

heh i even saw in the dream a young wimmin i used to work with at the horrible job. there were 3 attractive women there: That Woman, and two other young women. I would like liked to bang all of them, maybe even Date any of them, but i never really talked to the other women unfortunately. the one who appeared in a dream was a real obnoxious annoying bitch and she thought that made her cute or funny or something. but she had a nice body hahaha.

also it shows how if a woman is nice and friendly to you, and she fooks you and all that, you can START getting feelings for her even if you dont know here, even if you know shes a wh0re. that combination of niceness, and interest, and secs, or even just making out, that can produce oxytocin and Feelings. so you shouldnt have secs with people you just met. but thats how modern women Date. you literally cannot Go Slow Because then she wont see you as a Secsual Person (im not gonna use the word friendzone, but yeah thats essentially what it is. you can say you cant put me in the friendzone, im ending this failing friendship! but in the end you still get nothing either way hahahaha.)

heh. FEDGOV intermittent 12 dollar job called me today and said they were doing interviews right when i am starting my new job. JEEEEEEEEEZ. if it had been a week earlier i would have said yes. now i just let it go to voicemail and i thinking should i call them back in the afternoon. very on fence. i just want to take a break from job searching and get good at muh new job. but i wish the new job were a proper full time job so i wouldnt have to do more job searching ASAP!

i mean its “intermittent” or “casual” which means you arent guaranteed 40 hours. you might just get 20 hours. or 10 hours. then 50 hours. then some split shifts. work for 3 hours. then go home for 6 hours. then go back to work for 5 hours. also there are no sick fedgov benefits.

so. whores might be friendly to you and you might even get feelings for them. but when they are not with you they are out there fooking tons of other guys. dont get feelings for whores. fook them at your convenience, and ideally, just stay away from these degen jooish influences.

this is enough technical support for me, trying to fix my own tech issues. better than a broken hard drive tho. but apparently when you reinstall windows 7 in 2016 it runs into issues with windows update not really updating. or is it? are there really updates it needs but is not getting. lets never find out because its not possible to see into this black box of bullshit hahahaha.

i was listening to the jack benny radio program on sirius radio classics and it seemed like good clean non jooish non degen humor, and i especially liked the character or rochester, how sounds like a ridiculous black house servant. but wasnt jack benny jooish? it almost didnt matter because his style did not seem jooish at all.

YEP he was EXTREMELY 100% jooish.

sweet the windows update fix actually worked. or seems to work.

so is it good proving to myself that i still can get feelings for women who are dirty sluts?

or maybe i shouldnt dislike dirty sluts so much? be more forgiving?

well i MIGHT be forgiving if they actually changed their slutting behavior! and showed me actual interest and loyalty and didnt lose interest in me super quickly!

hey i know the rules. you cant MAKE a woman stop fooking other guys, you cant MAKE them not have a wandering eye hahaha, you cant be too pushy and call or text them too often, or hang out too often, i know all those rules.

and i guess i probably would take a friendly, cute slut over nothing, no one, incel hahahaha. would probably let her fook other guys as long as she didnt stop fooking me. and washed herself after fooking the other guys.

i remember in the dream there was the idea that the women were fooking many guys one after the other, not even washing themselves in between, just oozing with j1zz and the guys (and the women!) just didnt care.

reddit. these people are so degen they think a woman being a CAMWH0RE is a viable valid lifestyle choice like being a stripper. im a college student and to get some extra money i dildo myself on camera. this is normal adn theres nothing wrong with it!

YES THERE IS! would you want to be with someone who thinks this is JUST FINE?

oh you evil controlling abuser

ended in shitty way, he is heartbroekn, she wont respond hehehe

just stop having so much damn SECS with so many damn guys! slow down! close your damn legs! really understand and respect the fact that this is how babies are made and the babies grow inside YOU, in YOUR uterus, so you have much more to lose than those big secsy MEN!

that you fooking these guys is like a pathetic beeta male jerking off to porn all the time!

pathetic and disgusting and degen and jooish!

its not because skydaddy taught me that sex was ebil and immoral, its that he taught me sex is SACRED and HOLY and SUBLIME, and using it as hedonistic pleasure is dsgusting!


thats the root issue for me. and you dont need to be religious to understand that, and i get even more butthurt when i see people saying that this is a RELIGIOUS issue, when its not!

the only atheists i like are the anti abortion atheists hehehehehe.

what a fookin crock of shit, 25 year old nyc journalist SLUT goes on celibacy thing for ONE MONTH to learn more about her wants and needs and feelings, as if she werent narcissistic enough, but she as just taking a break from fooking 10 guys a month for a month.

lena dunham and amy schumer are “WHITE, ABLE BODIED, AND FEMME PRESENTING WOMEN”???

I thought they were fat jooish slob sluts!

the problem with sex positivity is not that its too Cis, its that its too positive and too damn obsessed with sex sex sex sex sex sex. i mean yeah so am i but why not talk about how shameful slutsex is hahaha.

i want a woman who is a PRUDE because she takes sex SERIOUSLY and her role as The Pregnant Sex and NOT because of strict religious stuff, though being religious is probably a positive. but if you have to say oh i dont act like a disgusting joo because GAWWDDDDDDDDDD says no, and not being you think, Its fooking DISGUSTING whether GOD says so or not, well then you are always gonna be tempted to be a disgusting jooish n1993r like these muh dick ape people. dicks out for harambe hahahaha.

you dont need GAWD to tell you that acting like an animal is DISGUSTING. Now you DO need GAWD for plenty of other stuff. like to give meaning to your life….??? well no, being an honorable white person can do that for you. someone that you can show gratitude to? yeah ok. and also show gratitude to people on earth too. but you should have that much gratitude, that you have extra to give to GOD.  GLORIFY HIM.

i guess i am all about sluts today because i had that dream FULL of sluts having LOTS of secs, with that old gurl who was an IRL slut. you know if i had gotten more secs from sluts, had gotten to know more sluts as actual people, i probably wouldnt hate sluts so much AND wouldnt hate casual sex so much. because id be getting plenty of it, and i would see that sluts are people too, and i would figure out how to DEAL with them.

but i havent had those experiences. i havent HAD a lot of secs with sluts. getting secs with good looking sluts is NOT easy. secs with bad looking, old, fat sluts is not easy hahahaha.

i would probably still come to the same conclusion eventually that casual sex is disgusting and bad. but i wouldnt be so damn butthurt by it, and say, yeah, i admit, i had some good times with casual sex and the sluts that provided it. troubled gurls, but not bad people, and i had fun with them, and learned valuable lessons on how to Deal With People from them. how to communicate and handle conflict and handle women.

but nooooooooooooooooo i havent benefited personally from sluts, and really, that is all MY fault, so i am a little ashamed for that. that i am not even man enough to pull the EASIEST women.

the women who give it away easily dont give it easily to me.

well, they dont give it away easily to MOST men! theres the 80 20 idea. that really only 20% of men benefit from sluts.

or is it 50 50? the end result is the same for me hahaha

in fact, its better for me to say that im part of the 80 than the 50 because then i can shift the blame. feel better about myself and worse about women.

but even at 80 20, i still feel pretty bad about myself AND bad abotu women!!!!!!

I always knew i had low mate value so i wasnt even THINKING about going out and Finding Women until i improved myself Career Wise. then that became a damn 4, 5, actually 8 year process that did not produce a ton of results. from total loser to a nonserious job and a ton of College Coursework, to a serious job, to absolutely nothing total loser once again, back to a nonserious job, and less desire than ever to do More Education.

i knew i shouldnt even THINK about Dating without a serious job, and by the time i got one, i was so stressed out i didnt even care about women, didnt care about secs, jerked off even less than usual and only to try to relieve stress. along the way i very easily met a nice female friend and boom i fell in luv with her. damn. but i wasnt LOOKING for her. it literally just happened. i didnt have time or energy or willing to try to date broads off the internet. i just wanted to ease my mind from muh job, sm0ke mj, study my job so i felt prepared and hopefully more calm. i learned the shit pretty well but i didnt feel much calmer. but that was also due to things getting bad with the woman too.

was i an overbearing annoying pathetic stupid idiot bitch to her? of course i was. i never said i wasnt. I KNEW i was being one. yeah i can see how being annoying can ruin a friendship but…..i dont know. i still think she overreacted and could have been more nice and validating and sympathetic to me.

wow like a damn broken record. but i do need to tell myself this stuff multiple times a day. its part of the lonnnnggggg getting over it process.

wow lots of richard spencer in the mainsteam lugenpresse after this years NPI. well good for that phag enabler hahahahaha.

news of upcoming spencer appearance at texas a&m univ getting some news, if he actually does the event i bet that will get some tv coverage tbh

not a damn word about millennial woes or other conference people hahahaha. all richard spencer. under pressure hahahahaha.

no im glad for the publicity. i would like to go to NPI one year, but I would ESPECIALLY like to go to the TRS gathering in feb 2017. maybe that will make the news. spencer will probably make an appearance there anyway. hes not a bad guy. he is separated from his wife? that sucks. higher up fired for posting spencers home address on fb and saying something about how The Good Guys used to visit nazi meetings with bats. lets beat up this NAZI. im glad tbis editor was fired. get a real job phaggot. go prep your wifes bull and pay for your wifes sons sex change operation hahahaha. trump is of couse

nov 24

yeah i should have figured this. MSM would not try to take alt right even semi seeriously, would just call them a bunch of HATEFUL, DANGEROUS NAZIS.

dont be fooled by his top tier education, and his brooks brothers suit, and his neat haircut, and his handsome looks! he’s even more manipulative and bigoted than TRUMP! and what did you expect america, electing trump, you just open the door for more bigots like spencer and the alt right! full blown NAZIS!!!!!

so now i cant even say im alt right to a normie, cuz all normies know is that the alt right is NAZI KKK BIGOT RACIST.

i mean how is this suprising hahahaha.

anyway. moving on to how 2 make 26k a year and get a gf who will not leave you who you actually sort of like and enjoy having traditional secs with them once every two weeks hahahaha and the thought of them nekkid excites rather than disgusts you.

basically, you want to be with them and only them, and arent having second thoughts during a honeymoon period of a substantial period. like 6 months hahahaha.

its not all about are they attractive…..but i have never luved a woman i DIDNT find attractive and did not want to fondle every inch of their body. you want to be with them, and not leave them.

be like john candy, not like steve martin hahahahahahaha. re the planes trains and autos movie. not that steve martin is not a super talented, smart and funny guy. (but hes picked shitty movies recently.) and he’s not jooish. neither is john candy. who died way too young. and the ending about john candy not having a family is sad and heartbreaking. great movie. not too degen at all. john hughes. great goy. died way too young.

oh lord. john candy is having a moment of despair late at night when he talks to his dead wife and sitting in the burned out car in the snow and realized that he is a good natured soul and tried to get along with people, but he just Comes On Too Strong, and Smothers Them, pushes them away. i know that feel hahahaha. thankfully steve martin redeems himself and invites john candy into the hotel room.

i can relate. yeah candy (del) might sometimes smother, but that doesnt make him a bad guy, and he doesnt realize what a huge asshole neil (steve martin) is . so dell was not smothering in this case. he was taking too much responsibility and not giving enough to neil. so he shouldnt blame himself so much or feel so bad.

so yeah i dont really want to SMOTHER people.

well i didnt SMOTHER woman2012 hahaha. i didnt SMOTHER the casual sluts TOO much. who cares. i never had a real rel with them anyway and they dumped me before i smothered them TOO much.

so yeah i dont smother ALL THE TIME with women i like.

kinda hard to smother someone when you dont hang out with them in 10 months.

is texting a little bit most days considered smothering? 100 texts a day, yes sure of course.

also if she didnt respond i wouldnt KEEP texting.

i would just ask every 2 weeks can we hang out please. can we hang out please. PATHETIC. oh i dunno i’ll text you. oh i dunno ill text you. never text.

i mean we were BOTH terrible at confronting the obvious. its not all her fault hahaha.

i just wish she had responded and said no i dont hate you, no you didnt do something horrible, i jsut dont feel that way about you, sorry, the end, wish you well.

you can send that in 1 text message, maybe 2, takes less than 2 minutes.

and THEN if i start harrassing after that, sending shitloads of texts, thats on me, thats me being a bad guy. BUT NOT BEFORE.

then it takes 2 years of you telling yourself this shit to get over it haha

meanwhile they bang 5000000000000 guys and forget about you in 1 minute hahahahahaha. SO COLD. hehehe. all women are that cold hahahaha. cognitive distortion alarm hahaha.

how to take shit

well you just smile and K them with Kindness. Smile and K them with kindness. gotta remember that. turn the other cheek. be like yes sir. sorry sir. im so sorry sir. smile and eat the shit. thats what you are paid for. then when you get out and go home, get drunk and beat your wife and kids. oh wait. you are a meek underemployed loser who cant get or afford a wife or kids. so go home and get drunk and cry because you dont have a wife and kids to beat.

ok no wife and kids to luv or beat, cant drink alcohol cuz were done with that, the obvious answer is to sm0ke MJ till super blazed the second you get home (and pretty much continue until you go to bed) and then ideally do high intensity cardio AND hardcore lifting AND a sauna AND some work related study AND ideally some cuddling and luv with your nonexistent waifu haha.

thanksgiving dinner. the fam is nice people. super working class whites, total types that should be won over by trump but prob voted demonrat 16, 20 years ago. union working class. a couple of the men were like yep i am happy, one guy was like “i am ecstatic, he has balls and is going to clean house”. the women were more like herrrp im not super happy about this jerk trump but oh well i will live and not be like these crybaby protestors, life goes on.  just sensible reactions all around.

and i wish i could do what they do, work low paying hard working jobs, swing shifts, no days off, no holidays off, no extra pay for working on thanksgiving and xmas and new years, never 2 days off in a week, etc, but some of them have been around long enough (25+ years) to have the easier jobs and arent in the same shitty position as the new people being hired in in 2016 making 10 dollars an hour, even shittier hours, seasonal, casual workers, a bunch of shiftless blacks and foreigners, but also plenty of honest poor white working class people in there too. and its so easy to become a damn alcoholic hehehehe.

i suppose if i found myself in that position again, i might start drinking again, just be very careful not to drink and DRIVE.

and then try to quit drinking as soon as i could get ahold of some MJ from a black or mexican or arab at muh working class job hahahaha.

uncle bern talks about richard spencer and NPI and maybe alt right. i really want Uncle Bern to come over to Full Racism, to confront the JQ, to become a countersemite, to become a damn 1488 WN, but i dont think he ever will, but it would be nice if he did. i Grew Up on Uncle Bern and now it seems ive passed him because he has not really developed on the JQ, but he’s MORE than smart enough to have occasion to face the JQ.

jooish lugenpresse reports on millennial woes at NPI and supports that he should be doxxed for his hateful, misogynistic, ignorant views. glad to see all the comments are like you are full of shit, MW is a good boi dindu nuffin.

another uk press article on MW. ok ts the same article, just diff comments, but same general pro-MW sentiment, good. looks like some TRS goys got in there, good. i could see you calling TRS hateful possibly, but to call MW hateful is absolutely ridiculous. he is the least hateful person ever. also, i think some hate is justified in these times. neither TRS nor MW or any of the people I like go over that line, which i guess would be openly encouraging violence and terrorism like some kind of federal informer hahahaha.

most racist town in america, harrison, arkansas hahaha they have pro white billboards. sounds like a great place to live hahahaha but probably not a lot of 26k a year jobs there or 25 year old n<4  6.7/10 white trad waifus there hahahahahahahahahaha

not sure how carbs became the worst thing ever, but they are.


heheheheheheheh cant forget about that one

this is how women respond to everything and they think its CUTE.


n1993r alarm.wav hehehehehe

nov 25 2016

heheh i forget theres a TRS regular site with articles

i mean real men wont NEED an article, but On The Fence Borderline Men like me would like reading an article like this hahahaha. like we will ever get a woman who wouldnt dump us IMMEDIATELY anyway hahahaha.

they dont give you the CHANCE to redpill them, theyre already LONG GONE.

i might pull the trigger here and spend 18 dollars to buy a stainless steel old fashioned Safety Razor, ie an old school razor that uses wristcutter razor blades. they say it gives a closer shave AND less discomfort than any of the modern 6000000000 blade gillette razors. not that i like a smooth baby face! its quite phaggy, pedophilic, jooish, feminine, cuck, omega, womanly.

but for those times that you absolutely HAVE to shave, ie job interviews, new job, weddings, funerals, then why not have a good, comfortable shave?

got dbt workbook by mckay and 2 other authors, new harbinger publishers, wahterver. looks promising. little thinner/shorter than i hoped, but not terrible.

looks very promising. hope i will like it hahaha. i dont think i will HATE it.

trying not to think about how All 6.6/10 and above 25 year old single women are All Huge Sociopathic, Abandoning, Horrible Immature Sluts hahahaha. total cog distortion ahahahahah. just gotta not think about it. ignore it. avoid it. and do anything else. like WORK. lift weights. play vidya. powerwalk. ideally would be working at job that did not K me. work and make money. but that is SO HARD to do too. even doing the bare minimum of making 26k a year is SO, SO, SO, SO UNIMAGINABLY hard, a HERCULEAN, SISYPHEAN, ATLEAN effort.

I knew it would be hard, but I didnt think it would be THIS hard.

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i had a dream where i was hanging out with WEEV and a bunch of young alt right pro-whites. they were all younger and much higher energy and more confident and nonnevergf than me hahahaha. i was talking to this other guy and he said ok here’s your first assignment, we want to make sure youre not an undercover fed, and i was like ok, I just dont want to do anything violent or illegal hehehehe. somehow i had gotten infected with some sort of wirus where my body was covered with disgusting boils or huge zits everywhere. my mission was to go swimming in a pool filled with a bunch of young joos or antiwhites, and therefore infect all of them with this disgusting affliction. I went ahead and did this. i did not see the results of it and i woke up shortly afterwards.

kinda funny though.

heh got a SNES and n64 emulator, and all these great games, some final fantasy rpg games, classic stuff, and i dont feel like playing them. is it because the keyboard is too hard to learn? i dunno.

hmm thank GOD i did not really fall off the fatwagon on thanksgiving. like its not gonna screw up muh whole month. heh. but my downfall will be eating this goddamn CAKE. fook CAKE.

but you can sit there and just eat straight turkey or whatever all day. lots of protein, low calories. even the gravy is not bad. but start adding stuffing and potatoes and cake and mac and cheese and then you are DONE. FINISHED. instant lardass.

you dont get fat off meat. you get fat off mac and cheese and french fries and pizza and carbs and bread and pasta and noodles. and cake hehehe.

i have gotten better at doing more pushups. what i do is 10 pushups when i get up in the morning, and then throughout the day, just randomly do 6 pushups a couple of times per day. like 3 or 4 of those hehehe.

just stuff me full of fried meat until I am cripplingly obese and provide me with heroic medical care until I gracelessly expire ahahahahahahahahahahahaha

hehehe i WISH i came up with that beautiful poetry hehehehehe.

all right i will try to play final fantasy 6 aka ff3 for snes, which i never had, and which is very very very expensive to buy an snes cartridge for, and was the game prior to the big ff7 on ps1, and i guess ff6 was very acclaimed as well. i recall playing an emulator at leat 5 years ago when i busted out muh actual snes console.

welp played a bunch of ff6. it was ok. not bad but not amazingly awesome. could do a lot lot worse if you are looking for an old fashioned rpg tho.

prob not worth paying 60 bucks for or however much it is on ebay.

again. it was ok but still kinda meh. i did not get sucked into a world like i did with ff10 and 12 for the ps2. although snes is prob the better system, and one i spent way much more time with during muh very formative years.

i could dl a ps2 emulator too hahahahahah. but the games are way way large. i cant believe how small they are for snes games. like 1 mb. so small. a huge game like ff6 is only 2 mb.