sun nov 26

april 14

heh. way over on calories again yesterday. like 900 over muh goal of 1500, which, admittedly, is a hard number to reach. but def doable! but NOT fun. 900 over is pretty fun hahahaha. well, 500 over is fun. 900 over def felt excessive. so, at 1500, you basically always WANT to go 500 over hehehe. every day. successfully resist the temptation or forever be a fat neet virgin loser making less than 11k a year hahahaha.

good friday. the day the perfidious murderers of christ perfidiously murdered christ. beautiful sunny day atm!

i wanted to look at this lasha darkmoon for a full hour, her work looks like it deserves that much at least. i would link to but i dont want a trackback. even though i endorse the site, probably.

i guess she is still currently writing articles, thats prob good. the guy at blindlight thinks she is a J, but he is a real renegade tier nutjob who thinks everyone is a J, including renegade hehehe. i saw renegade posting an LD article but hope that doesnt mean that LD endorses renegade! who are really a goddamn embarrassment at BEST, i would rather read blindlight. but would i bang crazy sinead? without hesitation. imho she is very attractive.

https://www.darkmoonDOTme/2016/mind-pollution-the-promotion-of-sexual-perversion-on-national-tv/

anyway LD seems to be a decent writer, a good writer and arguer. well worth reading.

lots of stuff about porn and secsual perversion and how the joos promote it to destroy goys. Great! great writing and expose of the filth i mean. kalki destroyer of filth.

ok. trying to work myself up to go out at 1 pm. get haircut and go grocery.

ok try to drink just tea on weekends and leave coffee for the week hahahaah. i mean imho the tea i make is pretty strong still.

heh. forgot about occidental observer, that is full of great writing and prob great comments

too cool to list DS or even TRS in their links tho? this might not be an intentional snub. i mean OO is naming the J every day. i cant NOT support them hahaha. surprised they still have a working paypal!

no KMAC is a great man and I should give him more luv. he is also not very young so i hope he still has a few more good years left in him. how about a passionate, not-super-academic book, about 500 pages, saying he is why we need to defoo the joo, take away female voting, how to deal with the black problem in the US, how to fix Education, how to fix demographic problems, how to defend your position against shitlibs.

briefly watched a program on pbs yesterday about a black Community Organizer who was complaining about the Cycle of Poverty and how when black men get out of prison, they have NO WAY of getting a legit job and making enough money to live, so they are FORCED to return to crime, forced to return to jail, so we need mo monay fo mo pogams to educate these men with real skills and get them real jobs so they dont need to go back to crime. he seemed like a nice peaceful man who i wouldnt worry about him personally living in muh neighborhood hehehe and of course he addressed tons of important questions about blacks, prison, education, jobs. i should have watched the program more.

as a US goy, the Black Question is very relevant to me, and I hate how it is used to Prove White Systematic Racism and Oppression. so yeah its a VERY important question to address for amerifat goys, ALMOST as important as the JQ. Certainly there is more opportunity to talk about and debate the BQ with real life shitlibs, as opposed to the JQ. the BQ is a GREAT OPPORTUNITY to have an actual conversation, debate, and maybe conversion with shitlibs, who would dismiss the JQ as conspracy theory bullshit.

but yeah its interesting, you dont really have the BQ in europe. of course you have the MQ there in a way that the US doesnt. and shit that is becoming a bigger problem in US over time. but i still think the black question and the latinx question will be more important, in the us, than the moslem question hehehehe.

https://bbs.dailystormer.com/t/cucknadia-to-be-the-first-country-to-legalize-recreational-weed/99145

heh this is also a question too hehehehe.

yes andrew i am having tough time finding MJ now that you mention it!

but thats not because its actually hard to find! thats because I am a crazy broken weirdo person! i mean really there are LITERAL TONS of legal medical MJ just a few miles from where I am right now. just got a get a MMJ card. OR meet somebody with an MMJ card who is wiling to buy. OR just be a social normie and meet SOMEBODY who can get MJ. DAMN.

QUOTE

Before the weed people come whining – look, I don’t even think it should be a criminal offense.
But as it is now, are you having a hard time finding weed?

Come on.

What is the benefit of legalizing it?

All it does is encourage young people – including children – to smoke it.

There is no positive, and no, it’s not the same thing as alcohol, stop saying that because you know it isn’t the same thing.

Most people who drink alcohol are not alcoholics, whereas most people who smoke weed smoke it all the time. Also, alcoholics tend to be more functional than pot-smokers.  END QUOTE

MJ is the opium of the masses. YES!

i agree with everything they are saying about the degenerate jooishness of MJ. but I still WANT it. right now.

heh somebody in the thread linked this video which reminded me of how great the BUKOWSKI TAPES are. yeah hes a degenerate drunkard…..but just watch the tapes at least once in your life. he’s still on my list of people i would like to meet in history hehehhe. as a young drunken degenerate i would watch the buk tapes RELIGIOUSLY.

i think he was implicitly racially aware but still not CONNECTED as much as a healthy white man should be. where you actively, explicitly LOVE YOUR RACE.  also his drinking was degenerate and made him better not worse. doesnt mean he’s not great to listen to, or to want to hang out with the guy. I could listen to him for hours, he has a really relaxing voice and way of talking. probably because he is always drunk hahahahaha. he would have been a better white man if he wasnt always drunk. but i cant poo poo on ol hank, he was a great man. i just wish he wasnt a hopeless Alcoholic!

he said he would have K’d himself if he WASNT an alcoholic. hehehe I know that feel man. but you HAVE to find a way. NOT to K yourself and NOT be an alcoholic.

anyway, MJ hahahaha. so decrim would be better than legalization? because full legalization would mean jooish Big Monsanto MJ? and fooktons of Govt Interference? yes.

so, there are more powerful interests there, which would prob make legalizaton MORE like than decrim. because legal would mean more money for da jooz.

so i guess im confused as to why it isnt legal RIGHT NOW then. well its CLEARLY MOVING that way! and prob will be fully legal within 10 years! especially if canada legalizes it!

some hwytes say all drugs should be “legal” (decrim) and then all the heron addicts can K themselves easily with overdoses. weed out the weak.

heh. who has more hidden costs. MJ addicts or heron addicts. in terms of medical stuff (prob the heron people) but what about “lost productivity”. both would prob score high there. hehehe i am trying to say that MJ is just as bad for Hwyte Society as OPIOIDS. and also admitting that I WANT to Throw My Life Away on DRUGS!!!!!! I WANT to! horry sheet!

anyway even if MJ does not really hurt adult brains over the age of 25……how many HUge Stoners are there under 25? A FOOKLOAD!!!!! I sm0ked WAY to much MJ before the age of 25. WAYYYYYY too much. its part of the reason I am so RUINED right now.  and now Im like, well, im ruined, wont make any difference if i sm0ke mj now.

https://bbs.dailystormer.com/t/study-shows-most-whites-in-america-dont-feel-white-guilt/99260

GOOD! They SHOULDNT!!!!

heh. some cable companies charge MORE for Just phone and internet, than they charge for TV AND phone and internet. meaning you gotta pay MORE to take TV OUT.  this is because They Know how powerful of a weapon TV is against evil hwytes.

recently signed up for netflix and i was APPALLED at the amount of disgusting jooish filth on there. stuff ive never heard of. new gay jooish netflix tv shows. i mean there is plenty of good stuff which probably justifies the price of the netflix, but there is shitloads of degenerate jooish filth you have to scroll past when browsing tv shows.  trannie teens, subversion, perversion, gay senior citizens, hotwives hehehe.

auburn shutting down spencers appearance one day after it was announced hahaha. hope they get it unshut. like azzmador sez, hire a bunch of big negros for security. would really trigger the joos.

oh yeah so i as larping again and thought the best thing would be for 23 year old young men to marry 18 year old virgin gurls, with the arrangement of their fathers, and then immediately start cranking out white babies. the men should be at least at LEAST 4 years older than the women, but still be kinda young, and basically be the youngest a man can be while still making a good living, good enough to support a wife and baby, and i believe in the hwyte paradise we can have young men trained for jobs to make decent money by age 23. age 22? yep. 21? I think so.

so how about 21 year old boys with 17 year old gurls then? again, total involvement of fathers. the boys would be horny af until they are 21, but then they get a beautiful 18 year old wife. 95% of girls are qt when they are 18.

i guess you could allow hookers or sluts for pre-21 boys, but if the gurls are kept off the c0ck carousel and are virgins when they marry at 18, they will be more open to beta men who dont have to constantly neg them and game them and frame them. which doesnt mean the man wouldnt put the smack down when necessary, and Command his wife like a Leader, and not tolerate childish tantrums.

so that would be best imho. young men makign good money at age 21-23, then they marry 18 year old gurls, have 3 kids each.

this is not too far from what used to happen in the good old days hahahaha.

with my radical transformational education system, the young men would be able to make  decent, average, working class, child rearing money by age 21, 22.

believe me youre still plenty horny at that age and wouldnt mind being faithfully married to a beautiful young 18 year old gurl who wasnt gonna leave you. you wouldnt want Novelty. that’s a GOD DAMN DIRTY JOOISH LIE, that men want “novelty” that bad. men will be PERFECTLY HAPPY with familiar, habit, non novelty, provided its an 18 yo QT!!!!!! PROVE ME WRONG!!!!!

bbbbut what about the 30 year old virgin men?

THERE WOULDNT BE ANY. THEY WOULD HAVE BEEN MARRIED BY 23.

well CERTAINLY when this policy is FIRST STARTING there will be unmarried men over 23 and not enough 18 year old gurls to go around. men like myself. and if we marry an 18 year old gurl then we’re TAKING them from a 23 year old young man.

so…..breed more women than men for a while? hard to do that without abortion, which is OF COURSE NOT EVER AN OPTION.

well, to the top 10% or 20% of unmarried over 23’s, they get a 18 year old wife then.

still doesnt help me hahahaha. or us neet virgin losers.

again im larping for normies, and we are not normies!!!!! so what do you do with US???!!?!?!??!

uhhh working a 28k a year job and having a 26 yo 7.3/10 GF would def help hahahaha.

so, if canada legalizes MJ, will that speed it up in the US? how much MJ will come from canada into the US? some say its aleady REALLY EASY to get MJ in canada.

would it be easier for an OUTLIER WEIRDO like me/us to get MJ in canada?

maybe walking around downtown vancouver. get it from some chinee chowee hahahaha. you rikey da racky reed rororororor.

but yeah damn i slept so well with no valium and no benedryl last night, solid damn 11 hours, it was BEAUTIFUL. makes me not want to use those things recreationally once a week hahahaha. i mean whats the point? a few hours of sluggish  semi relaxation before you go to bed? pointless. not good enough value add. not value added.

https://www.reddit.com/r/PussyPass/

pro hwyte subreddit, or at least now it has become that way. not bad. prob wont last long before being shut down by the j’s like /r/altright was shut down. by joos aka reddit aka jooz.

HWYTE SHARIA. this is becoming a meme with the more woman-hating among us, which I am 75% of the time. but I dont agree we should use BURKAS or any kind of moslem imagery. also no need for beating women to death or anything more than a light open handed slap. i mean if the woman is an ADULTERESS then yes there should be punishment, but not painful death, but some scarlet letter shit or banishment. branded with slut tattoo, headshavings for 2 years, wifes family pays the husbands family 14k fine at minimum, she gets put on a list that gets posted at city hall. on the internet of course. were not taking INTERNET away!

but yeah there was a 50 year old woman on DS forum that responded respectfully to anglin’s woman hating stuff with a gentle reminder that all women aren’t that bad, we dont need SHARIA per se, and that it is unhealthy and the joo LUVS it when hwyte men hate hwyte women like this. they LUV it.  so stop hating the women so much. im an above-45 woman so i get it, young women are HORRIBLE. but this extreme contempt for women is not the answer. we have to learn to work together. we are complements and helpmeets hahahaha. we are a team. anglin i implore you to think of how your anti woman stuff plays RIGHT into schlomos rubbing merchant hands.

she had a good point, but andrews woman hating will NEVER be a deal breaker for me because yeah I DO get it. but this 50 year old woman DOES have a good point.

https://bbs.dailystormer.com/t/charging-bull-artist-calls-out-debauched-feminist-perversion-of-fearless-girl/98896/129

ok here is her comment.

QUOTE

And propagating our species! I’d say that’s a pretty important job.

Please replace the word “women” with the words, “angry/brainwashed/feminists” for your descriptions.

I understand all these angry, “latchkey kid” insults. It’s called serious bond break with mother. RAD, Radical Attachment Disorder, Or just AD, and isn’t as rare as people think. It just presents itself in different degrees. It was a j00 agenda from the start to make more slave tax payers. Put women to work. Take them from their children! Then those generations of children, male and female, obviously, grow up broken, and angry. They make good killing machines. Feeling unloved and unprotected, and they were, unprotected, and possibly unloved! Most mothers naturally love their children, but when they have to go back to work, they suppress the feeling to keep from dying from the pain of separation.

We are now dealing with 3 generations of bond broken people. It’s big! Unfixable! Dangerous to society as a whole and it’s both male and female. The males of this psychological operation however tend to be the most dangerous, as they are bigger, stronger, and angrier. A full 1/3 of children are molested before the age of 16. Animal abuse is through the f00king roof. Our prisons are over flowing! You can see the manifestations of this in both sexes, and all races who’ve left their children without love, or guidance. They are killing each other for fun. They have no conscience, no ability to love, and no reason to want to. It’s a foreign thing they can’t understand.

This is how the demon j00s have turned our men into pedophiles, woman haters, and murderers for their war machine. So, people, answer me this. What the hell are we going to do with 3 or 4 generations of psychopaths living amongst us? Our best and brightest are being destroyed from birth.

Andrew, I have much respect for what you do here, or I wouldn’t have stayed this long. Fostering this hatred between the sexes, I believe is playing right into the j00s hands. It’s exactly what they want. I understand that there are huge issues between us all, that are not of our making, so the best we an do is try to help others see this too. I suppose this article might be a catalyst, if I understand anything about AA.

You stated a year or more ago, that without naming the enemy, we can’t fight it. I’ll add without naming the effects of the enemy, we can’t fight it either. Well, I don’t believe men and women are the enemy of each other. We’ve been corrupted to believe this is so. Yes, there are some very brainwashed screwed up women out there who’ve been conditioned to hate men. It seems to me tho, there are some very screwed up, brainwashed men too, who are being conditioned to hate woman.I’m not playing a blame game here. Trying to stop one! This is a psyop of megalithic proportions that can’t be fixed overnight, but we must find a way forward or our species will not survive. That is (((their))) wish!

Back to the issue of this article. How does this help? Are you being the provocateur here to spur debate? It just looks to me like another case of men and women not understanding each others motives, or creativity. Why does this have to be yet another reason to hate all women?

This, is what we’re putting into the world. This is how angry and dangerous even small children become. This doesn’t take extreme abuse. Like I said, it happens in varying degrees, and it’s frightening how many of these are adults, even into their 70’s now, who’s lives were ruined by the j00s war machine, and mothers having to leave their homes to work for same. Or work because their men were dead. It’s all by design!

END

to me, white sharia would consist of:

  1. taking away womens “right” to vote
  2. outlawing abortion
  3. heavy social shaming for unladylike behavior
  4. punishing cheaters as mentioned above
  5. no need for brutal physical violence like the moslems use
  6. nice old school european clothing like long dresses and Babushkas to cover womens heads, no beekeeper burkas needed.

and thats basically it. NO i dont think Female Genital Mutilation is needed either.

spanking and the occasional light slap would be the only physical punishment needed.

https://bbs.dailystormer.com/t/the-jew-as-adversary-in-the-battle-over-obscenity-pornography-and-sexual-morality-part-8-jews-and-film/99387

ooooo part 8? i bet parts 1 thru 7 are good too hahaha

ok its a nice day, should go for 2 powerwalks today.

ok went for 1. it was really nice and warm outside.

hmm lauren southern doing an “alt lite” even at berkeley today. hopefully the antifa do something embarassing.

so mike enoch is Owning His Face and just putting his face out there as Mike Enoch and has a decent looking twitter photo. for the record, i dont believe HE is a joo, and i have a much more positive attitude towards him than most of daily stormer. mike is not a joo, i dont think trs is joo compromised, i dont think his wife is doing anything bad, shit the only thing i’m still upset about is people being banned like crazy from the forum for no good reason. but OVERALL they have a very good community, with meetups and such, and DS is not really at this level yet. i would like them to be!  but yeah its frustrating when i see people at DS saying mike is a joo and all of TRS is jood. i dont think so at all.

heh. if i had the opportunity to buy MJ jsut once every 2 months…..that would be fine. i would buy enough for the 2 months and not bitch and moan. and CERTAINLY not even THINK about degen MJ legalization hahahaha. shit maybe even once every 3 months. not asking to just go down to the store and get it whenever i want!

similarly with secs. could not even IMAGINE having secs once every 3 months. seems too much to ask. i dont even care about the Secs, I care about making out with a qt who likes me. if i had a GF where i only saw her once every 3 months but she was qt, and nice, once every 3 months would be just fine hahaha. then i can share her with 89 other guys hahaha.

it could just be a fantasy hahaha. basically pay for a GFE from an attractive woman once every 3 months. i’d prob start wanting it once a month hahahaha.

the very few times qt gurls were interested in me, shit, i wanted to spend ERRY DAY with them because I was like THIS IS GREAT. I KNEW that was considered needy, so i settled for once a week, or once every 2 weeks. and then after a few weeks of that, they dumped me because i wanted a rel and they just wanted a coch in their cvnt, any coch will do. i was looking for someone special, they were just looking for negro style casual fooks. it feels good to be a dirty whore because secs is FUN. so why shouldnt you have as MUCH of it with as MANY guys as possible. double your pleasure!

heh. and then go on to make way more money, respect and status than me hahaha.

and they werent even bad people! they were just Typical Middle Class University Career Gurls! i mean yeah they were TOTAL Middle Class, parents had middle class masters degree careers, no surprise that their slutty daughters would too. you can have it all! i mean they probably got married and had 1 kid who will have bipolar by age 4 hahahaha. well i know one got married and then got divorced.

and these werent BAD women! they were more sympathetic to me than That Woman!

anyway. i mean it seems kind of NEEDY, GREEDY, and EXCESSIVE to want to be with your Waifu EVERY DAY. Why not once a week?

so what do they do the other days of the day? work on their career? thats the mans job! fook their other boifrans?  ideally they would be raising children! and raising children is NOT a one day a week job! so it becomes a lot less NEEDY and EXCESSIVE to expect your GF/wife to be with you every day.

but yeah i wish you knew in advance exactly how much luv you were gonna get and you had the power to control your dose hahahaha but NOOOOOOO they shut you down at the WORST possible time, then skip off teehee teehee to suck negro dick hahahaha.

i was just thinking how UNFAIR it is to all the neet virgins who havent cuddled witha grill in 10 years, that people with actual GFs could cuddle with a grill every night if they wanted.

but then it all makes sense when you consider the CHILDREN.

so i’m saying guys should SHARE their gfs with neets before the gfs have children? hahahaha of courshe not. that would be degenerate and jooish.

i am just saying, feeling that warm fuzzy comfy af feel every couple months would be YUGE for the CONFIDENCE hahahaha.

i guess i was thinking about my “one chance to buy MJ every 3 months” idea.

well i would just buy enough MJ to last 3 months. i would sure as hell be USING it damn near every day. you cant do that with a grill because to “USE” a grill she has to be there with you, choosing to spend time with you. you cant just buy a quantity of quality time and then dole that out to yourself at intervals of your choosing! APPLES AND ORANGES! you cant just see your “waifu” once every 3 months then get enough luv and GFE to last you 3 months so that you can dip into it every 2 days and get a little bit! like you would with a bag of MJ!

https://bbs.dailystormer.com/t/i-identify-as-being-five/99452

heh just last year we were JOKING about this.

heh. i need to get back to reading HWYTE POWER obviously. when i do not then muh head gets filled with negative thoughts.

so, alt lite rally in berkeley today with lauren southern. looks like identity evrope with nathan damigo showed up and there was video of damigo punching a dreadlock female antifa in the face, which was pretty kewl. but i wonder if he will get in trouble for that. wouldnt be surprised.

wewlad. finally got under 1500 cals for first time in a while cuz i was able to powerwalk for 5.6 miles today. not bad!

but yeah tbh i am getting tired of the woman hate on DS. women are less than dogs, women are worse than jooz, i mean it wont turn me away from DS, or stop dnating to it, or having a huge mancrush on anglin, but it will make me shake muh haid at these huge woman haters on the BBS. but i think its maybe just a phase.

but im a white knight because i dont hate women AS much? i still want to take away their voting, their abortion, i want to publicly shame and punish sluts, i think women should be out of the workforce, i am in favor of light slapping, and I’m still a god damn WHITE NIGHT because I dont want to literally chain muh wife up and beat her with muh wife beating stick.

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THE WQ

apr 1

had a not fun dream which featurely That Woman prominently. there was this prostitution section at a mall or something where the hookers had little rooms and you could look at them before signing up. like a brothel or red light district i guess. to my horror i found her in there. being a hooker. she still looked great, except now she had some shitty tattoos on her nice white body where before she had none. i talked to her for a little bit but couldnt bring myself to “hire” her. i came back the next day and was more determined to “hire” her but i guess she wasnt in that day. i talked to one of her Clients who also really liked her, because she was the best fook ever, she did EVERYTHING and was so GIVING and enthusiastic.

i recall one image of her bending over with her beautiful long hair going over her beautiful white skin which was now covered in white trash tattoos and i was like welp those tattoos are a shame, but i still want her. i am not over her.

then i woke up at 5 am and was like welp that sucks. i still want her. i am not over her.

andrew anglin is right. women are like children. i bet if i contacted her NOW with enough confidence and charisma, i could meet up with her and bang her and ideally make her my waifu. i could play this game just right and live with her happily ever after. hopefulyl she doesnt have any shitty tattoos or any damn KIDS, and hasnt been with TOO many black guys in the past 2 years. i bet she still looks good and has nice hair and nice skin and nice legs.

i didnt want to go back to sleep because i felt i would go right back into that dream. but i also kinda wanted to “see her” again. but i knew this would bother me all day. so i laid awake and worried about it for a while and said welp ITS JUST A DREAM, yes it sucks, but it doesnt mean i’m not getting over her, or that i’m not 80% over her, in a few days, i’ll barely remember this, and NO i should NOT contact her, or look her up on the internet. fook no. do NOT do that.

then i got back to sleep pretty well, and no more dreams of her hahaha. thank god.

but yeah. just that lingering thought that if i came at her NOW like a totally super masculine tough guy, i could probably “win” her. and i was tempted to play that act. but i could only play that act for so long and then she would dump me and i would be heartbroken again.

and wa wa wa i will never WANT a woman as much as this again. and this kind of WANTING, yeah its “just” a chemical drug, but it totally effectively bonds people together, makes commitment possible, and ideally you want to MARRY and have CHILDREN with someone you get that chemical for…..and if you dont…..should you have children with them? i mean its clear many people do anyway.

well you can still be a good parent even if you dont like your wife hahahahaha. but your wife has to still be willing not to be a hostile bitch to you, esp in front of the children.

thankfully i got a few more hours of decent sleep and no more dreams about HER, that helped.

heh that darn article. maybe it got me thinking i could “win her back” after all thsi time, if I just came back as a total tough guy, and never let the mask slip. it would be risky, but its a risk worth taking right? i mean she is the last woman i will ever luv right? hahahahaha. what do i have to lose?

now in the light of day i can thankfully see, nope not a good idea. btu right after I woke up from that darn dream, yeah i was tempted. oh i’ll take her back even if she is a literal prostitute.  she has a spell on me.

then i thought it might be good to go to an actual hooker. shit go to a FEW.

yeah it is troubling the thought i should try to contact her, present a totally different face to her, act like i am a total tough guy, that would be a enough to fool her, and maybe i could fake it till i make it long enough for her to become loyal to me.

i mean i’m gonna have to do this with ANY woman ANYWAY, faking it till i make it as a masculine tough guy. not just her. but HER i have actual feelings for, i want to be with! she actually MEANS something to me!

rational response: if ANY young qt gurl is NICE to me and shows Sweet Feminine Warmth and Interest in me, I would very well get feelings for her TOO. basically she was acting in a way that ANY woman can act – sweet and nice and kind and friendly. that wasnt unique to HER. its just a huge TRIPLE WHAMMY to get that from a cute young hwyte gurl who is fairly secsually INNOCENT.  IE, a low-number woman.  and then she continues to be nice to you for a few years and you get to know her and you see she isnt a total destructive degen baby monster.

maybe the dream was just a grim, totally unfunny april fools joke. note: april fools jokes are SUPPOSED to be FUNNY. not morale-destroying hahaha.

sheeeit the mudshark thread on DS forum i replied to and was scared to look at for fear of people calling me a untermensch race traitor phaggot, well i learned i got at least 10 likes on my post, and also the thread was REMOVED so you cant even read it, prob cuz it got too controversial, but i HOPE they didnt attack the principled hwyte man who was trying to teach his mudshark white young female employee a valuable life lesson about not being a dirty mudshark. stop now before its too late. maybe he got attacked for being a WHITE KNIGHT and they MAN SHAMED him hahahaha. which would be bad and worthy of shutting down the thread.

read a book on how to train a very catlike dog. or better yet, how to train a CAT. then you will be able to TRAIN women.

anglin’s women thread is growing and growing. somebody posted the picture of him with his qt blonde GF. her hair his covering her face so she is not doxxed, but clearly she is attractive, and he is looking smug, rightfully so. i am suspicious that she is a trifling thot and dumped him and broke his heart! maybe he didnt TRAIN her well enough, maybe he didnt pick a righteous enough woman, but god damn, i just hate that men have to do 99% of the work and women only 1%, or else the man is a shameful loser. can’t women do 25% of the work? thats all I’m asking.

i dont EXPECT them to do 50% of the work or even 40%. but 25%??? COME ON. YOU CAN DO THAT MUCH. EVEN A 14 Year old gurl could do that much.

the danger here is that i am convincing myself to contact her. i cant come up wiht a good reason NOT to. i have nothign to lose. well, other than i will be devastated when she dumps me again . yeah but that will be my FAULT because women have no FAULT or RESPONSIBILITY ever. they one dump you if you let them get away with it and dont TRAIN them properly.

stupid god damn DREAM making me even THINK contacting HER is a remotely good idea. shit. fook. just wait a couple days and i will be back to “normal.” hehehe.

i say just try to bang women as quickly as possible, and when you do, YOU dump THEM, because you dont want a SLUT who bangs quickly as the mother of your children, you want a decent woman. but by all means bang her 500 times so you get more natural at being physical and confident with women. that can only HELP you in the long run. which is maybe why i need to meet casual sluts from okcupid, or hookers from the erotic review.

shit i desperately WANT another woman to REPLACE her and break this CURSE she has on me, and i worry this will never happen. well then I’ll just be cursed again, is that really any better? YES, because its NOT HER! the memory of HER is like an evil jooish parasite in muh brain! there was more bad than good and I wish I could FORGET IT ALL. even the good. because the GOOD WASNT WURF IT.

there was more bad than good and i wish i could forget the good. there was a decent amount of good though. but a fookton of bad.

http://bbs.dailystormer.com/t/dear-men-who-wish-to-be-allies-to-women-12-things-you-need-to-know/95757

anyway there was a time wheni was having like 3 dreams about HER a week. but the shitty thing about this dream is that it proves i’m not fully over her, and that i could still totally RATIONALIZE the idea of contacting her. i WONT, but.

i mean shit. this was TRVE LUV. OF COURSE it takes a LONG time to get over. AT LEAST 2 YEARS.

BUt yeah i thought she CARED about me more. thats all hahaha. near the end it was like she didnt care at all. when things were good it seemed she CARED about me quite a bit. I don’t mind being Cared About by a Nice Person who I cared about too!

oh well its been over for 2 years and i hate all women nao hahaha its all part of THE PROCESS. TRUST THE PROCESS.  would LUV some MJ though. LUV LUV LUV.

i dont think i would have gotten the Luv Drug Chemical Oxytocins and Vasopressins and Dopamines and Endorphins if That Woman had not been ATTRACTIVE. if she were UGLY, i don’t think anything would have happened. i wish she had jsut been ugly! she had kinda a horse face but any man would have found her attractive, if perhaps “a bit plain.” but then again, a bit plain is my TYPE if there ever was one!!!

a little plain, but not UGLY.

and believe me, many women are on the ugly side of plain!

anyway. right or wrong (probably wrong hahaha) i had deep feelings for her and that was the truth. they were not logical, but they were REAL, and by GOD is it taking FOREVER for them to go away, because that is the reality of these feelings. that’s NORMAL.

it didnt matter that she didnt care about me, all that mattered was that she was young and purty and a halfway decent person and that we knew each other. i mean if i hadn’t KNOWN her for 3 years then she would just be like some random young qt gurl I didnt know.

anyway who cares. just hope i dont have a dream about her tonight.

i mean really this is just normal. normies go through this too. Only its maybe only 60% as painful hahaha. what do they do? they DRINK and bang SLUTS. i cant really do either of those.

http://bbs.dailystormer.com/t/mudshark-and-retard-trolling-with-ya-main-goy-heilkek88/95052/16

this has the potential to get really good, the kid doesnt seem too sharp but he has some balls ahahaha. anyway you can just ask these sluts how many partners they have had. the 20 year old gurl said 4.

thats really not TOO bad!!!!! I mean I normally would allow a max of 2 by 20 for a marriageable gurl but a fat slut on POF, 4 by 20, damn I would have thought 8 to 10 by 20 at LEAST!

chris cantwell is doing a livestream in blackface pretending to be a black guy. his stock is going up in my market hahahaha. i guess he was banned from doing streams on youtube so now he is on this thing called ustream. looks like varg is going from youtube to this thing called vidme. hope that works out for him, i mean he’s entitled to make money from his vidyas, no reason not to!

sent a 5 dollar dnation to DAILY STORMER because i donate to him once every 3 months and apr 1 is the start of another 3 months.

there is like 4600 dollars in his wallet right now. hopefully that will keep DS going for a few more months hahahaha.

apr 2

no dreams about that woman last night thank GOD.

sunday. nice sunny day. went for powerwalk at 11am, try to go for another.  weird irritated and congested feeling in throat which not sure if “allergies” to possible pollen from the Coming Spring, or if it is a Wirus of some sort.

Doing Just Sunday Things namely charging everything that can be charged; triming beard down to level 2.

if you slap a woman open handed in the face like sean connery or steve mcqueen in the movies, that’s probably ok. but to fully beat the shit out of a woman, thats probably never ok ahahha. no closed hand, no prolonged beatings. just one light slap on the face, open hand. it’s more SYMBOLIC than anything. you arent trying to physically hurt her. again, I am much much more comfortable with spanking. there you dont have to be so gentle. you can make it hurt a little. how much long term damage is a spanking going to cause anyway. now i’m not talking about WHIPPING them with a cane or bullwhip with 20 severe lashes that would break the skin like the black slaves in the movies have horrible scars on their backs. I’m just talking about 10 good smacks with your open hand.

i fully intend to do this and I fully expect it to work WONDERS. if i could have spanked that woman it would have worked wonders. but we never even hung out. getting in a room alone with her for 5 minutes was too much to ask.

also you should never ever do any spanking or slapping in public. that is some negro bullshit. i mean unfortuantely there ARE white trash men who BEAT and ABUSE their women, and unfort these women are too fooked up to leave these men, because they dont realize all they really need is a spanking, not having their head smashed against the wall. god damn. you think sean connery or steve mcqueen did that shit hahaha. nope. the thought should HORRIFY you as it does me. just one mild slap on the face to cool her off when she is starting to get hysterical. its easier to do quickly and tactically than a spanking, which is a long formal procedure and ritual. very time intensive. slap first, spank later.

also if i had slapped that woman i dont think it would have helped. dont slap a woman until you have fooked her at least 10 times hahahaha.

maybe practice slapping her in the face while you are spanking her, if, like me, you are much more comfortable with the idea of spanking than slapping. i mean slapping just seems much closer to “ABUSE.” it’s really NOT if done the right way: just one time, open hand, not super hard, again, it’s a SYMBOLIC gesture.

but would it have really ever helped me? well i might have been able to spank the sluts from 12-13 years ago because they let me get Physical with them. but still it was damn near impossible to hang out with them, spend time with them. i spent barely any time with them, barely got to know them at all before i was dumped hahaha. so basically no, spanking or slapping wouldnt have been the magic bullet there, because i didnt even know them LONG enough to get AWAY with spanking them!

The Female Question. The Women Question. it is god damn important and a good gateway into 1433. better that it leads to 1433 than to mgtow! which it easily can!

basically even by traditional patriarchial 1433 standards, i’ve never “known” a women well enough to be able to slap her hahaha.

well i guess you would be more entitled to spank than slap a woman you were just “casually dating.” just start off incorporating it into the degen casual secs. then once she likes you enough to hang out with you once a week you can slowly start Sl4pping her if she mouths off hahahaha.

i am not advocating VIOLENCE, the slapping is NOT VIOLENT.

spanking is a great idea….but it never would have helped me! damn!

basically i am just needily begging to hang out until i get dumped hahahaha. meaning they dont want to hang out any more ever again hahaha.

so how the hell do you make women want to hang out with you? BE MASCULINE. BE TOUGH. BE A MAN. at least FAKE being a man, that’s good enough for Most Women anyway hahahaha. maybe focus on asian or black girls hahahahahahaha no i kid. dont do that.

but yeah spanking is great and i would luv to get a chance to use it, but you cant just use it on casual broads. i mean you got to have enough skill to pull a woman in the first place.

but yeah. you need something else to keep you STRONG than some loving waifu at home to cuddle you and build you up. if she is your Rock, then she is gonna LEAVE you because you are WEAK. dont show her that weak side. better for you to find some private spot and cry like a bitch alone. or maybe run home and cry to your mama. literally! crying in front of your male friends is not recommended. maybe your female friends? hahahahaha. if they are totally ugly in every way, maybe. how about a shrink, or better yet, a PRIEST.

heh there is a guy on DS who makes AA look like a white knight woman lover hahahaha. he is complaining about the “feminist mods” and pretty much asking to get banned. i guess they DO ban people from DS and also remove threads. they delete threads pretty regularly. why not just lock them? probably because there is some suggestion of violence and that ruins the whole thread. how about just delete those posts and lock the thread? because i guarantee some of those threads were decent. some of muh favorite threads eventually got deleted.

so yeah i guess if you are having tough times and feel stressed and weak…..DONT LET YOUR WOMAN SEE YOUR WEAKNESS OR SHE WILL LEAVE YOU. go cry to your:

  1. mother
  2. priest
  3. pay a shrink to listen to you cry
  4. find a private place and cry into a Teddy Bear ahahahahahahaha i’m not even joking.

whats the difference between a woman and a teddy bear? you can cry to a teddy bear and it wont LEAVE YOU hahahahahahaha.

then go lift some weights and only go back to your woman when you are prepared to put on your tough guy face and fook her hard.

i wish the women had more tolerance for weakness, but they JUST DONT, so ADAPT or GET DUMPED. There are other people and things you can show your weakness towards.

traditional catholics say that Adoration/Exposition of the Host is a magic bullet for them. that it turns lukewarm pvssies into crusading warriors for christ. basically getting up and going to church at 6 am before your Job and kneeling in front of the Host.  mother teresa said that if everybody did this for an hour a week it would end abortion.

yeah but this could be a self selection thing.  i mean lukewarm religious people arent going to go to church at 6 am to kneel and pray silently for an hour when its not even an official mass. i dunno.

now many people say that we should outlaw abortion for whites and keep it legal for blacks and nonwhites.

now in the US getting any kind of anti abortion law  would be YUGE and i dont think you could distinguish on race. in other words, i think a wholesale ban on all abortions for all races would be worth it ultimately just for the cultural anti-feminist change it would produce. that benefit would be worth all the nonwhite babies hahahaha. also i think they would find a way to do black market abortions anyway.

also have a few high profile cases where a woman who gets an abortion is convicted for MURDER.

basically reestablish the ideal that All Life Is Sacred and Worth Defending. this would make casual secs casual no more.  make people treat the secs act much more with the reverence befitting what it is: the process that creates new human life. the end.

or, as Anglin said “abortion is the crown jewel for feminism” or something similar. it basically is. take away abortion and you’ve taken away like 60% of feminism at least. the majority of feminism. jooish feminism. so yeah. i would take that gamble. ban abortion for all races. even though nonwhites proportionally get WAY more abortions. just HAVING it be LEGAL is VERY damaging to the MIND and SOUL of hwytes. knowing that its EVEN LEGAL is too damn much.

april 3

this guy puts it nicely QUOTE: ” It doesn’t matter, but probably. Our women need to be mercilessly shamed for merely being alone with them. Publishing it, broadcasting it, is just the same principle as f00king one, humiliating us. They know we can’t stand it. It’s why they do it. “Look, boys, this guy has a place in my social circle. He’s fly, he cool, he has my acceptance, where are you?” It’s how I look at it, now. ” END

from http://bbs.dailystormer.com/t/anti-feminist-conservative-lauren-southern-bangs-based-black-conservative/96264/26

it implicitly says, you’re not cool enough to hang out with me, but this black guy is.

and this is probably a talented tenth, trump hat wearing, maga black guy! you STILL dont want them with qt white wimmin!

there is an argument that lauren southern is part J tho. i would not be shocked hahahaha.

http://bbs.dailystormer.com/t/how-can-we-best-keep-our-daughters-and-our-sisters-from-engaging-in-miscegenation/96344

hope this one doesnt get deleted hahaha

i mean you shouldnt have to teach it, but i guess horny young teens. when i was 18 i would have banged an 18 year old nonwhite probably haha. joos and some indians can sometimes be bangable when they are 18 year old gurls hahaha. so if were a Horned Up white gurl wanting to get fooked by secsy BBC tyrone, well i would hope my father would Chain Me Up hahahaha.

i dont fookin know, i havent talked to a woman under 50 in 2 years, hahahahahahahaha. not even joking.

ok i am joking, i think i said good morning to a 35 year old woman recently.

but yeah i barely interact with women under 30, so i forget how easy they are to get all RUSTLED about.

like i say, if That Woman hadnt been YOUNG and GOOD LOOKING, I NEVER would have got feelz for her.

and then if the woman is NICE to you, GAME FOOKING OVER. GUARANTEED that you will fall in hopeless luv with her.

the end. next chapter.

it was INEVITABLE! the only SURPRISING thing is why I didnt happen SOONER. because I RESPECTED the boundaries of her relship with her original whyte boifran. which was right and proper and i don’t regret being whyte like that. her making ANY kind of new male friends WITHOUT breaking up with the boifran showed TERRIBLE JUDGMENT on her part. a good father would have said dont do that shit, thats some n3gr0 bullshit. slippery slope to being a dirty cheater or abortionist or mudshark.

maybe i should THANK the first gurl I knew who mudsharked because her mudsharking was probably a Racial Redpill for me! in other words, i might have not been so vehemently, viscerally against interracial fooking, until i EXPERIENCED the ugly side of it, simply by seeing a slut i sorta fancied, fooking a black guy! and seeing pictures of her smiling face next to him.

and then i was like FOOK THIS. there is NOTHING good about this. inter racial fooking is BAD.

and i CERTAINLY didnt need to go through that TWICE. and boy was the second time a million times worse! cuz i cared for the woman so much more, we were closer, it felt all the more insulting and disgusting to me. shit I already KNEW mudsharking was disgusting, i didnt need to see THIS! good lord I must have been HITLER in a previous life hahahaha.

i’ll bet half of white guys have never experienced a white girl rejecting them and then openly getting with a black guy. because if they HAD, then more guys would be RACIST hahahahaha.

but yeah. THAT WOMAN being a mudshark was just karmically CRUEL to me hahahaha. i already KNEW mudsharking was disgusting, and it didnt take a woman I cared a hella LOT about to teach me that lesson. when That Woman did it, it was just HEARTBREAKING.

http://bbs.dailystormer.com/t/why-women-destroy-civilizations/3837/

nice quote from goy on that thread QUOTE ” The above quote from the video is why I stopped trying to understand how White women could be attracted to black men. They aren’t! They’re attracted to the rebellious, alpha male, image of black men that has been manufactured by J00ish media moguls. If White guys were portrayed in the same way, they would be considered just as desirable by these gullible, idiotic women who are glued to TV and Netflix.  ” END

NEVER FORGET. yeah i know this is all old, in response to black pigeons influential video from around that time.  although i guess it doesnt name the J at all. which is a bit naive and stupid. if you forget or dont know the J is behind this, then you just become a mgtow mra phagg0t.

i mean shit. women arent SMART enough to COORDINATE all this shit.

hmm there used to be a pretty good smart reasonable woman on DS. i think she left because the place became too unreasonable woman-hating hahahahahahahahahahahahaha.

yeah yeah so i hate women because I am not a real man. but I am NOT a real, full man. so yes i DO admit that contributes to SOME of my woman-hate. BUT NOT ALL OF IT. another part of it is da J’s, and another part is the women themselves.

oh well almost 8 o clock bedtime hahaha.

april 4

i just dont know. its real easy to get cognitive distortions about women. you hear about one woman and you think ALL WOMEN are that bad. women are bad, dont get me wrong, but they might not be THAT bad.

for example, ask a gurl if she dates outside her race, perfectly valid question, because you shun and shame mudsharks. woman responds: IM NOT RACIST, but I just dont date black guys. Im not racist though.

don’t sperg out over her saying shes “not racist.” thats not important. NO WOMAN IS gonna say she IS racist, no normie PERSON would say this! only the top 10% of red pilled, JQ people would admit to being racist as being a GOOD thing, so dont EXPECT it out of people.

getting a woman to ADMIT that she has a PREFERENCE to NEVER date black guys, that is HUGE. might as well marry that woman.

now Dive Deeper hahaha. ask clarifying quetsions:

  1. have you EVER been with a black guy, and that’s where you’re getting that?
  2. so you’re saying you WOULD date like arabs and mexicans? what about a needle dicked little chinee man hahahalol rorororor!

in other words, most women say theyre not racist, THINK they are not racist, but they still Just Wont Date Black Guys, never have, never will, and this is fookin AWESOME.

just make sure that extends to arab guys too. i would THINK most women who disappear to dubai for a week for 50 grand to get SHIT ON, KINDA LOOK LIKE STRIPPER WHORES and NOT qt gurls next door.

there was that one female poster gafarlichtesmadchen or something like that who was pretty good and not just Good For A Woman, but an actual qualityposter. i think she was disgusted by DS’s anti-woman tone tho hahaha. sad! well i think AA is a lot like me in that he can work himself into a real anti-woman lather. i do the same thing. and then i need to tell myself, women arent really THAT bad, and THEN convince myself im not cucking or “white knighting.”

ok got some Robotussin here, i wanted something without acetominophen. i guess i could drink the whole bottle here and got Robotripping hahahaha. i mean its because i have a cough and kinda sore throat and coughing and congesting and otherwise would be taking 90000000 cough drops.

so thats a great point. you can ask the woman during your first volley of questions, do you date outside your race, and how many guys have you been with, and sometimes they will tell you flat out. im 20 years old and i have been with (fooked) 4 guys. not ideal, but better than expected!

TRIGGER WARNING HAHAHAHAHAHAHA

i also like how the woman is a fat slob with a terrible shape and rolls of fat

who the hell makes something like this.

i would agree something this degenerate takes a ton of communication, but how many of these stupid women really communicate about it properly, oh the surplus of willingly cucked husbands who are like please communicate with me baybee about our cuck threesome and shes like no im just gonna fook this manly man

i wonder if she ever uses her lack of communication as part of the power thing. like fook NO im not gonna communicate with YOU you pathetic CUCK! ill just let chad fook me hard tho!

and the cuck puts up with it because hes that desperate hahahaha.

in a sick way, all of this DOES make SENSE.

but the main thing is that you get PLEASURE out of being HUMILIATED. i mean its basic masochism 101. and i cant think of anything more jooish. well actually masochism is very huhwhyte, to flagellate and sacrifice and hurt and K and self destruct yourself? while being a sadistic monster is pretty jooish. torture porn and all taht.

heh. cucked for a manlier man by a fat potato shaped slob. good job joe hahaha.

heh. if a woman is willing to do all the WORK of accomodating the Laborious Communication needed to “respectfully maintain boundaries and acknowledge humanity” in a Cuck Rel…….she should use that energy into remaining LOYAL to her ONE man.

obviously im misunderstanding something hahahaha.

no i am not at all. its not hard to understand. either you think a cuck fetish is reasonable, or you are like me and you think its

ABSOLUTELY DEGENERATE.

NO i dont think this is MOST women. this is like 5% of women at most. those that are both super degenerate and super edj00cated. readers of everydayfeminism dot com, huffbo, buzzfeed, salon, slate, joo york magazine, vice. chapo trap house hahahahahaha.

terrible leftist shitswine. they already suck a lot of dicks. the least they could do, while they are sucking so many dicks all the time, is to suck ours.

i mean all these young women are constantly FOOKING all the time having SO MUCH SECS, it means NOTHING to them, they might as WELL set aside 5 MINUTES A MONTH to give some up to an omega neet hahahahahahaha

woops im doing it again hahaha

plus im getting downright communistic about it. doling handouts to parasites.

i am wondering if Cottage Cheese might be a bit of a miracle food. of course get the richest kind you can. like 4% or 6%.

full of protein and not a ton of calories. way better tasting than shitty YOGURT. yogurt is gay af. gayer than a feminized western male hahaha.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Father_Brown_(2013_TV_series)

I am watching this TV show currently and I am struggling to find anything disgustingly jooish about it. it is a fun mystery show with a catholic priest as the main detective. based on stories by the famous catholic convert gk chesterton, who was probably a decent moral goy and didnt cuck to the joo too much. that would be disappointing.

there’s probably joos involved in this show and probably the religious aspect is toned down from the books. but the actor and the character are very likeable and the mysteries pretty gripping, decent writing, beautiful location in the english countryside. remove the urbanite hahaha.

i have seen like 14 episodes of this show and cant find anything to not recommend it. watch it to relax with your waifu. good clean fun. i dont think the actor who plays father brown is a joo.

surprisingly non pozzed for something to come out of Current Year BBC TV. damn.

honestly I can’t find anything degenerate about it. this from the guy who stopped watching tv and movies because they were too JOOISH.

i mean its not religious ENOUGH for being about a damn PRIEST but really. it is not bad at all.

sheeeeeeeeeit there is a man dressing in damn drag for like 20 minutes on episode 2 though. wtf. sad! i think there is a story reason for this though, like he is in a play. i havent been paying attention, reading daily stormer and typing about racewar and degeneracy and jooish lies and mudsharks hahahaha while waiting for a degenerate poker table to open up.

honestly ive seen at least 15 episodes and thi s is the most degen thing ive seen so far.

ok i think there is a plot element here. its a fugitive dressing as a woman in order to hide.

 

DISAVOW MGTOW

feb 27

listen to this man if you dont want to listen to me hahahahaha.

this is a great meme which i think originated on varg’s channel, but not sure if he has a longer video where he actually discusses the topic. i mean its self explanatory but its just nice to hear it mansplained over and over again by as many wise men as possible.

LETS FIND OUT hahahaha

searched “porn” on his channel and only got this video. wouldnt mind a nice 10 minute speech on the topic. ill never get tired of talking about it myself. not that im obsessed with porn! more like obsessed with talking about how awful and jooish it is. and not being im obsessed with the temptation to watch it, the monkey on my back. i’m really not folks. tbh. i might get on the slippery slope like once a year. but i have no real desire to watch it. prob because i am so damn aware of how horrible and awful and degen and jooish it is. you want to understand the JQ, then think about PORN and why it is so awful. that is the JQ in a nutshell. that is them doing what they do “best.”

listen to this wise man too. he’s always been a good honest real talker and charming, and this is increased when he’s doing vidyas. he is really good at this. shows the difference between just talking without you face…..and talking with your face. he is great at both. but with the face is even better. i am certainly not ready for that, but would like to do faceless talking. so yeah i trust him and i damn like him, have a damn cult of personality fanboyism around old sven. ive gotten over the enoch joowife thing, but shit if mike did a few videos like THIS, that would be awesome. this is exactly what im looking for.

as far as what he says about autopilot, well im glad he was able to succeed on autopilot. i went on autopilot too and i crashed and burned or at least stalled completely and is why i am a huge wifeless childless successless loser today. i sorta thought i COULD go on autopilot and get a job making 25k a year. i was wrong. maybe this is the measure of a total NORMIE CHAD – that you can be on autopilot and STILL have a job, wife, and children like sven. when i went on autopilot around age 18, that was the beginning of the end for me. CHECK YOUR NORMIE PRIVILEGE NONNEVERGF SVEN!!!!! hahahaha.

but yeah sven comes across as more trustworthy and likable than mike because of stuff like this. but mike just had his LIFE RUINED. but i hope he starts “facef4gging” too at some point in the future. im just saying sven has a GREAT PERSONALITY in general. no wonder he was able to get a job and wife and kids while on autopilot, his autopilot is CHARMING AF. the absolutely antiautist.

just blatantly copy svens whole personality until you start getting some success and confidence. i dont think he’d mind hahaha. especially if it helps make more hwytes.

varg got at a good thing in a recent video, you dont have to be rich to have children. you can be dirt poor and have 6 children like him. he says he plans to have MORE. i was like hell yeah. i mean really 3 is enough. i worry that he might be a deadbeat to his 21 year old daughter but i dont expect him to tell the full story about that. i’d wager he’s a good father to his 5 young children.

but yeah basically its a J lie that you need to be rich to have a child. oh, im not ready, im not making enough money to support a child. some whites come forward and say hey im pretty poor and we have 3 children. we live within our means, we dont have cable, we buy used clothes, we dont live in the city, we get a surprising amount of welfare from even the US.

so basically i should just have a child right now and then that might motivate me to at least work hard and make 28k a year. or fail at that, be a deadbeat dad, and K muh self out of well-deserved SHAME.

live in a hwyte pride single wide in the boondocks, make muh 28k a year, wife stays home and homeschools kids, at least 3 of them, no more than 2 years apart, so they can socialize with each other. thats the other bad thing about schools is that kids get closer to possibly deadbeat friends that to their own families. SCHOOLS BREAK FAMILIES APART.

argument: your kids will be weird and antisocial and not know how to talk to people.

REBUTTED: they will make friends with their siblings and also as part of the homeschooling, the mother would have them meet other (extremely vetted) people of all ages. old and young. meet with other homeschool families. pool the resources and homeschool them together.

if you have your own business, you could have the kids come work with you and learn useful shit.

you can tell i just listened to greg johnson’s feb 2017 talk with kievsky hahahaha:

http://www dot counter-currents dot com/2017/02/recolonizing-america/

(they do trackbacks and even though I agree with CC 100%, I just dont want trackbacks to this blog atm)

both topkek goys. kievsky has been pushing these ideas for years and really has been quite influential on my own ideas. they are largely his hehehehe. except im not as hot on convenience stores and laundries necessarily. but owning your own business in general, fook yeah.

hmmm looks like greg and hunter wallace are not feuding any more. well thats nice. very rarely do i see people reconciling after past drama. that is great.

jimmy kimmel. thanks trump, becuase last year we were just saying the oscars were racist, and now we have a RACIST PRESIDENT OMG good god what a fooking disgusting show of jooery. i watched it for literally no more than 10 seconds then said wtf am i doing, then turned off and watched 5 minutes of forensic files and went to bed. i used to be a huge movie buff. i still have it in me, wouldnt mind watching some good movies, would even sign up for netflix to get them. back in like 2012 and previous i would go to the theatre all the time, 2 times a week, just for fun. i guess that was kinda fun and i should try to see a few movies a year at matinee price if i can. i mean i dont think all movies are inherently bad. i spent a lot of time watching and enjoying movies. kinda sad that I got away from that. but i have little desire to see any of the oscar diversity shit movies.

apparently dave chappelle has a small role in “con air” hehehe. i never actually saw this movie but it looks pretty watchable.

if you have any disagreement with a leftist they WILL call you a RACIST. maybe this redpilled me somewhat. noticing that their default, fallback, last ditch argument is ALWAYS: youre a terrible RACIST.

and then i kept going and discovered that being a RACIST wasnt really such a HORRIBLE thing. to these leftists its the WORST THING EVER. LITERALLY HITLER.

but i dont think its really so bad at all! i dont expect normies to agree with THAT, but i think normies can be reached by pointing out, hey, you see how these pigs always think everyone is RACIST? is it REALLY? what does RACIST mean to you, vs what does it mean to THEM?

but i also dont think its great when the whites get DEFENSIVE and say no youre wrong, im not a racist, i have friends of all races. cuz then they are agreeing with the leftists that being a racist is the worst thing ever, and that you are taking their BULLSHIT seriously.

hehehe you can have friends of diff races and still be a racist and ITS ALL GOOD. i mean HOW GOOD of friends are you with them anyway? is your BEST FRIEND a diff race? PROBABLY NOT.

i know/knew 1 or 2 good joos who i wouldn’t put in the oven. but i would still say, hey, we can still keep in touch, but you need to be with your people. as a good joo you could make your race better. the joos need more good joos like you. so go to israel and lead them.

ive never been super duper besties with a person of a diff race. well i was in luv with 2 jooish gurls, wanted to date them and have traditional rels with them, but i got over it and im glad i did. dodged a bullet there. plus those women had no interest in making an effort to be a Good GF to me, they wanted nothing of the sort. maybe if they were in luv with me and made a solid effort…..i might be softer on da joos now. but they certainly didnt CAUSE me to be so anti J ish. when i think of bad J’s i don’t think of THEM. shit them being flaky modern slutty WOMEN was even WORSE than them being J’s.

i had a kinda good friend who was a brown nonarab muslim. he was a huge leftist who was rebelling …. ya know i’m not even sure his parents were muslim. i think they were, but they didnt disown him for being not at all religious. or maybe he kept it secret from them. see i didnt really know him that well i guess. he was a huge leftist and was the first superleftist i ever met. well no thats not true. i believe he was at heart a decent guy and i wish him well. i think he became a successful attorney banging white gurls. i still wish him well but i wish he would not bang white gurls. i lost touch with him fairly quickly. not because he was a shitty guy, but i guess we werent really super besties with long lasting mutual mancrushes on each other.

and thats about it. maybe i would let like 5 nonwhites stay in my hwyte homeland, but i imagine at that point, theyd WANT to be with their families and realize they would be happier in their ethnic homeland.

i wuldnt have a big problem sending them back in other words. give them leadership positions in their countries. they’re not bad people.

and probably yes this is all easier to say because as of right NOW, no i DONT have any friends who are nonwhite. i barely have any friends period hahahaha. i have a few acquaintances and they are all white and im fine with that. i am more bothered by the idea of having just acquaintances and no real close friends. but it doesnt KILL me the way it did when i was young, like 20 years old and would feel SOUL CRUSHING LONELINESS. I dont really feel THAT lonely anymore. except when i think of That Woman, how i felt really close to her, and that closeness I was missing, it took her to make me realize i was even MISSING it. so it was esp brutal when she left. i guess some of that loneliness came back but it was more brutal savage heartbreak than loneliness if that makes any sense.

and again thankful to be past all that, or at least 88% hehehe.

but yeah. its hard to say i would have become such huge racist if i had some super close nonwhite friends. but you know what it REALLY doesnt bother me. im MUCH more bothered with being a loser who isnt TOUGH enough to WORK and ACHIEVE anything in life. shit being a racist has been a pretty big POSITIVE in my life, hahahaha.  I LIKE being a racist.

con air, hahaha this looks pretty good. i mean its no die hard or robocop but its nick cage at his 85% best. 100% best being leaving las vegas of course. raising arizona is way up there too. weatherman and the rock were also good. stick con air on that tier.  where the hell has he been lately. he was making super shitty movies up until about 3 years ago. i think he went bankrupt because of a bitch ex wife. damn.

dont know if i fully buy steve buscemi as a hannibal lecter type, but he seems funny, i’ll allow it

getting deep varg hehehe. i mean i think has gotten to the next level with his video making, which i dont think he ever got to with his blog or his writings. he is reaching more people and becoming better and more persuasive.  he’s a decent writer but he’s found he can be even more effective with simple talking videos, and he’s been working on this and just getting better and better at it the pat couple years. he’s on a great path and its good to see him on that path. its MUCH MUCH MUCH better than making boring synth albums or writing a blog 1000 people read. but rather making great, moving, persuasive, awesome videos that 100000 people watch and comment on eagerly. there is a new generation of kids that dont even know about burzum, they are here because they are down iwth the 14 words. this is WAY better than the old farts who are only there because they are BOORTZUM fanbois and dont understand the 14w or what varg is really saying.

im in an interesting venn diagram there, as i am an old fart burzum fanboi, but i also agree with varg’s 14 words stuff 88% hahahaha. again, so glad he’s recognized his own talent in making these videos and he spends more time on them than boring music. he’s said as much. i dont really want to play guitar that much, i know i have MUCH MORE IMPORTANT WORK TO DO. and this is it.

now, he’s made at least two of the best black metal albums of ALL TIME, and thats nothing to sneeze at. its no surpirse he has fanbois. believe it. hvis lyset tar oss, filosofem, and to a somewhat lesser degree debut have stood the test of time and will continue to. but i dont think he’s gonna top those, he doesn’t think he’s gonna top those, and he knows he has much more important work to do now that he’s a old fart hahahaha. and i’d so happy he chooses to do this work, than spend his time making boring albums. hey “belus” is actually pretty good. “fallen” has some good songs too. he started losing me on “umskiptar.”

only way this could be better is if he starts including his wife and children more in his videos. i think he might, he’s been showing his kids a little more bit by bit. showing off his new baby. and i can understand wanting to keep your family private. but i also understand wanting to show off your beautiful white family that you are so proud of.

ideally i want a video with varg and marie talking together about The Ideal relationship between a man and woman, husband and wife, and how they raise their children. i dont think marie speaks very good english though. well she writes pretty good english, so i say give it a try.

heh. the mgtow turd flinging monkey did a response to varg’s anti-mgtow video and comments were full of anti-varg mgtow pvssies. really made me thankful i have Disavowed MGTOW. these people will NEVER get it. varg has not made a response back, not that he needs to.

i have sympathy for mgtows because i KNOW how bad women are, believe me. i WAS a mgtow. but you cant stay stuck in that rut. the women are not the issue dude hahahaha.

now that i have been away from mgtow for a few years and more into the race and 14w stuff, it just makes it even more clear that i made the right choice. i dont want to be in that SAD world of woman-hate. shit i got ENOUGH woman-hate as it is. but i know its not their fault. theyre just animals doing what they’ve been conditioned to do hehehe. by you know who. and no fathers and single mothers. which id argue is a bullshit family structure that is intentionally PUSHED by you know who because they damn well KNOW how powerful of a weapon the destruction of the FAMILY is to the goyim. destroy the FAMILIES, destroy the WOMEN, and then the men will fall too, becoming weak omega phaggot suicidal self destructive cucks with nothing to live for. Sad! but it doesnt have to be that way. really meditate on those 14 holy words and you’ll start to see it doesnt have to be that way.

 

EVERYTHINGS DEGENERATE

jan 21

so yeah ive definitely made good progress in getting over That Woman relative to the posts that are publishing now, which i wrote in like june 2016 hehehe. i was still pretty butthurt one year out. one and a HALF years out, doing a lot better.

which is not surpirsing. ive always said, these type of things take MORE THAN A YEAR to get over. youre looking at 1.5 to two years MINIMUM. so adjust your damn expectations. move the goalposts hahahahahaha.

ITS BETTER TO TRY TO BE FUNNY AND FAIL HORRIBLY THAN TO NOT HAVE A SENSE OF HUMOR AT ALL.

in other words, its better to WANT to have a sense of humor, than to not have a sense of humor at all.

i totally appreciate the value of a sense of humor. even though i am not very funny, i am still miles ahead of those humorless assholes. j marxist antiwhites hahahaha.

https://twitter.com/AJoycePhD

andrew joyce, never heard of this guy until a few months ago when spencer mentioned him, i mean i haven’t really followed spencer til recently either. anyway the more phds we can get on our side, the better.

https://www.washingtonpost.com/local/social-issues/shes-54-white-rural-and-a-lifelong-republican-why-is-she-protesting-donald-trump/2017/01/21/6457ac02-df41-11e6-918c-99ede3c8cafa_story.html?tid=sm_tw&utm_term=.05c301a8ccca

oh gawd

this woman SHOULD vote for trump because shes white, rural, working class, but she converted from right to left nao because her working class conservative white family fell apart due to drugs and alcohol and white people might seem nice sometimes but deep down they’re scary abusive monsters, and just like your abusive white husband beat you, this is how whites feel about nonwhites and women, which you are, so join the womens march hahahaha.

those mean vile small minded people. like her white male customers who say degrading things about women and have confederate flags. oh god this article is so poorly written and patronizing but i dont think it wants to be patronizing, its just like a 20 year old gurl wrote it, rambles on for pages introducing the story, its shitty writing.

ok its a cucky white male phaggot mccoy who writes on Social Justice ISsues for WaPo. barffffffffff

white boys should NEVER grow up to do this for a career. thing is he’s in the top 10% of success for journalists. good paying full time job at one of the biggest papers. most shitlib journalists do this shit for free while they work at starbucks hahahaha.

anyway i can probably get over my disappointment with the enoch thing, i wont say bad shit about him, he’s done a lot of good, and he will probably continue to do more good.

well did my saturday weigh in and was at the lowest weight ever. much closer to muh goal than i thought i was.

‏@BillKristol tweetz
I’ll be unembarrassedly old-fashioned here: It is profoundly depressing and vulgar to hear an American president proclaim “America First.”

this isnt even a joke. jooish neocohen writes jooiest nocohenest cuckiest tweet ever. whats depressing and vulgar about it schlomo?

http://www.latimes.com/politics/la-na-pol-trump-america-first-20170120-story.html

oh sorry i didnt realize it was a reference to an antisemitic organization in the 30s heheheheheheh. well even better then. charles lindbergh is MAH N199A. GREAT goy there. actually im embarrassed i never heard of this.

so i’m sure trvmp wasnt referring to THAT. unless he was DOGWHISTLING again. i hope he was!!!!!!!!!!!!! but yeah i really should have heard of this org, i thought i was better at history and pro-hwyte history than that hahahaha. but i am super lazy.

sorry i wasnt educated enough to view it as a DEPLORABLE RACIST DOGWHISTLE. well now i like it EVEN MORE.

i could message THAT WOMAN and be like get me some MJ. that is all. i will have nothing to do with you. i’m just using you as a drvg dealer hahahaha. i dont give a shit how you and your family are doing. bring me the MJ, get fooked hard by me, then leave. I dont even remember your name.

i mean the plain fact was i DO/did care about how her and her family are doing! i DIDNT view her as a piece of meat.

but yeah i do want some MJ. yes i KNOW its degen. which is why if i had an influential podcast, i’d keep it in the closet.

but i flaunt it HERE? i mean i have two conflicting identities: the neet and the VVN. which one does MJ go more with?

so i cant have my cake and eat it too. I can’t denounce neetism, and encourage us to become hwyte hwarriors, and also proclaim that MJ is OK.  I Understand This Totally.

but its a way better vice than Pornography hahahahaha. or video games. or being a fat slob. or technically alcohol. although alcohol is the hwyter vice. but im a special snowflake because i already HAD an alcohol problem and vowed to never drink again until I am making 30k a year and have a nice whyte GF, prob never happen hahahaha.

https://thehappening.info/e01b49ba21336cb8269096683ca738f09d6e1c61

i know i dont like women but i do kinda like emily youkkkkkkkkkis, i hadnt listened to her moonman rap till today. she uses eminem “my name is” which is an ok song regardless for degen google noise hahaha. i almost forgot about moonman. i think he fits very well with where emily is now going. also she makes moonman more than just h8ing n3gr0s, she brings in tons of very welcome anti-J-ism and such hhehehe.

https://thehappening.info/cdb52fc651dea4fb653cc416e56ccc45e2c6a7d2

some funny stuff on this site, it seems generally alt rightish hehehehe.

emily gives a very uplifting story here

this sounds like a great new show. made by azzmador and ken, both of whom already have great creeeeedentials, great to get them together, and guess who they have on for their second episode. download this one goys.

ken used to do intersectional alt right which used to be on trs but i dont think it is anymore. either he pulled it or they shitcanned him because he wasn’t cupping mikes balls unquestioningly hahahahaha. he is a regular guest on fatherland which is where i first heard him. very good charismatic communicator.

anglin comes right out and gives his take on the enoch situation, and i didn’t expect to agree with him so much, and i was pleasantly surpirsed that he didnt treat enoch with kid gloves. i dont hate enoch, but just understand we are disappointed and let us be disappointed. other trs “leaders” should be a little disappointed to. i dont want to throw mike in the oven, i am very willing to listen to him in the future, but just let us be disappointed, and you should be a little more disappointed too. not pretend like nothing happened.

but all three of these guys are amazing. i first heard azzmador sometime in 2016, not sure where. either a talk he did with anglin or grandpa lampshade. (GL is also good.)

azzmador i think is Doxxed, he’ll tell you his real name. i forgot what it was. also great to hear him actually confronting antifa and calling them phaggots to their faces. he has real balls hahahaha. i respect that.

i thought ken might be a SCHOOLTEACHER which if he is, that’s awesome. we need more of ours in education. like i said in the last post.

but yeah anglin or ANY of these guys will probably not be welcomed back with open arms at TRS like the used to be. and they’re not even saying anything hostile. they are simply, like me, legit disappointed, and i worry that that will be enough for TRS to ban them. hasnt happened yet tho, i’m just speculating.

http://pastebin.com/87b2zTmP

heres a text of that great speech by the british guy at the beginning. i think this is national action. who themselves have their own controversy of are they legit or are they shills. i can say that speech is very hair raising and awesome though.

http://bbs.dailystormer.com/t/emily-youcis-is-not-our-ally/79059/

oh jeez. i shouldnt have even. this is now turning into a hot topic on muh new fav forum.

ok thanks azzmador hahaha. great speech here.

HOLY SHIT that is the best thing i have heard in a while. that is going on the mixtape hahaha. share that with your friends and fam. i dont care if NA is jooish shills hahahaha but that is some great content. it almost brought a TEAR to my eye. just listen to this one seriously.

hmm that divisive emily youcis thread was REMOVED. whos CENSORING us hahahaha. although I prob disagree from the average DS person in that i am pretty willing to give emily the benefit of the doubt.

i guess national action was designated by the UK as a “TERRORIST ORGANIZATION” and the govt shut them down basically.

i vaguely remember hearing about that but it didnt really register. why didnt MW do a video on it? maybe he did hahahaha i havent watched every single MW video.  i was busy job searching and moping and bitching and whining hahahaha. so i miss some alt right news sometimes.

i get butthurt and sad when i think i never had the chance to talk about TRVMP with that woman. i will never know what she thought about TRVMP. i will never be able to use trvmp to open a deeper discussion with her about things like the alt right and the JQ and race and redpilling.

it would have been a great opportunity to see if we were really actually compatible or not. if she had shown herself as a vocal nevertrvmp, that might make things easier for me now. because then i wouldnt have this PEDESTALIZED FANTASY that I could have redpilled her into my redpilled waifu. i mean shit she could have become a vocal anti trump, and be all into the stupid jooish womens march that is going on now. I’LL NEVER KNOW.

the only thing i have to go on, and build my stupid fantasy on, is that she seemed somewhat open to redpilling. somewhat anti establishment. pro working class. not into white guilt. possibly open to the realities of black savagery. and i never got to spend quality time with her to discuss these topics in depth. really probe at her, and gently push her in the right direction hahaha. she liked stupid alex jones type conspiracies, which is really the best you can ask of a woman, because if they are already GTKRWN1433 before you meet them, they’re probably super fookin crazy like sinead hahahaha.  so being a basic bitch alex jones conspiritard is actually the IDEAL woman. and SHE WAS IT wawawawawawawawa. you could be like ok im glad youre open to non mainstream ideas. now let me teach you something a little less retarded than alex jones. you’ll like the education, believe me.

because i am a firm believer in educating your woman. just aim for a NICE woman and YOU can and should do the redpilling. and she was the perfect woman for that wawawawawawawa.

maybe she found a better stronger nobler man who eventually redpilled her into 1433 and made her his hwyte hwyfu wawawawawawa.

see i can always spin it in a way to maximize muh sad feels.

or maybe she became a n3gr0 fooking anti trvmp moron. see, either option is sad for me! there’s no possible option where i can be happy! because i dont have HER!

so best to try to forget about her and move on. which i am truly doing. it takes at LEAST a year and a half though. 18 full fookin months. and not a day less.

shit yeah thats a long time. thats just what i need.

its hard for me to understand people who need less time, often MUCH less time. i cant help judging them as “sociopaths” who “treat people as disposable garbage.” but maybe they’re not. maybe they just don’t need 18 months to get over a person.

fine. well then i am not compatible with their sociopathic disposable values then hahahahaha. i want a woman who needs 18 months to get over a man!!!!!!

this is what a white man apologizing and being genuinely remorseful looks and sounds like, and you dont need special empath skills to see it. and i got none of that from mike.

NOW, fascist lemming is going on record as fully denouncing enoch here, saying that he believes enoch is a J. I don’t really agree with that at the moment, but i respect the sincerity and good faith and general hwyteness i’m seeing here, and i wish mike had shown 1% of that when he was talking about his shit, and he didnt. that is to say, mike’s behavior IS a little jooey, and FL’s is 100% hwyte, and you know which type of behavior I prefer.

now i can’t say i have such a damn strong opinion on “joos did 911” , where FL says he cant take anyone seriously who DOESNT believe that joos did 911. ok. well i mean its possible. i haven’t studied that theory enough. believe me i dont doubt that the joos COULD have done 911! i just dont find it hard to believe that terrorist muslims did 911 either!

maybe mike acts so j00ey because he grew up on the east coast SURROUNDED by them .

jan 22

brand new mw video with a longass story by the man himself.  noice.

and he just spoke honestly from the get go. I wanted mike to do something like this. you dont even need to be “interrogated”. just talk honestly and directly to your audience.

and yeah i DO give mike a break for having sacrificed a lot and losing a lot. but that just seems like even more reason to be undoubtably honest.

http://www.metalireland.com/community/viewtopic.php?f=1&t=33432

ok it was the FORMER  BASS player of WINTEFYLLETH who made “controversial racist” remarks by coming out and saying he supported the 14 words. then wintefylleth cucked and kicked him out of the band. FOR SHAME!

and guess what, they STILL got called racists and evil nationalists because they are somewhat right wing and happy about being “HERITAGE” metal.

Lesson: DONT CUCK. almost makes me not want to listen to winterfylleth. hehehe.

ok im listening to them anyway, even though daily stormer would DISAVOW them or cucking hehehe.

but their music pairs really well with the wodensthrone style I’ve been craving.

heh i feel like varg vikernes. thinking that all these metal bands are stupid and degen. because they ARE!

and its pathetic and fedoraish that they are so butthurt and against christians, but they are almost equally butthurt against nationalism and ESPECIALLY racial pride. So that any metal band that shows interest in “heritage” gets accused of being a vile racist and nationalist, and then even MORE disappointing, the band then cucks in response, saying, no, i’m just celebrating muh english heritage, but i’m not nationalistic and certainly not RACIST.

what kind of fooked up jooed up society is it where BRITONS cannot be even the least bit critical of tens of thousands of muslims flooding their country? Pretty sure the main man of winterfylleth was slammed by the weak, disgusting, jooish Metal Press when he made an anti-muslim remark. Then he responded by talking about cultural marxism, political correctness, and how they were bad, which was good, and made a convoluted, incomprehensible statement about the (((((italian))))) gramsci and how he described the kind of cultural marxism happening. I can’t remember if gramsci was a technical J, but he was close enough. I do know he was a far leftist marxist. close enough!

they’re gonna accuse you of being a racist anyway chris naughton! might as well go all in and say i am proud of being a Hwyte European Englishman, like your banished bandmate did.

but i am a sucker for atmospheric, epic, heritage-celebrating, melodic black metal with blast beats, so now I’M cucking by listening to them hahahaha.

so if i accept them, and i think me accusing myself of cucking is just stupid purity spiralling, and yes i should be able to listen to them…..is that the same as me “CUCKING” for mike enoch? the mans sacrificed his LIFE for THE CAUSE!!!!!!!

if he did a vidya like MW did today, i would be perfectly happy. not saying MW did anything wrong though. just talking about the sincerity and honesty and straightforwardness he showed. or FL last night. it’s not hard to do, and it’s not hard for the audience to SEE. you can easily see it in their face and hear it in their voice. it’s not brain surgery. mike could have faced the camera and given an honest, impromptu talk and that would have been good enough.

it sucks that he lost everything, it’s almost harder to appreciate that because that loss is paired with the idea of him doing something questionable, which was not the case with MW. MW didnt have a joo wife hahahaha. he just got harshy doxed.

it’s not a problem that cant be overcome, but it IS a PROBLEM, and we just wanted you to directly treat it as one, and ADMIT it, mike. hehehehe.

yes, i am more prone to HERO WORSHIP and getting attached to PEOPLE than you SHOULD be. i dont really care, but it is kinda immature and it does mean i open myself up to more disappointment. and probably make me softer.

i mean i dont want to be such a Purity Spiraler that EVERYTHINGS degenerate and EVERYONES degenerate and I can’t enjoy ANYTHING because its too COMPROMISED. Can’t enjoy decent black metal because they aren’t nationalist enough. can’t enjoy music made by blacks. cant enjoy muh pad thai hahahahahahaha. yeah well no ones saying you cant enjoy pad thai and curry and general chows chikun hahahahaha.

BABOON BRAINFRAME

dec 18

finished chapin book. if i weren’t already a LIFELONG FAN, it probably wouldnt convince me of anything, i wouldnt like the book, i mean it was a pretty flawed book with its kinda rough writing style, missing important points, or maybe that was just him leaving the reader wanting more. i mean if he wants to self publish short books every year, ill damn buy them! MGHOW was worth it for telling personal stories which he never used to tell in his videos (when i used to watch ALL his videos at least.) dirty degen details of his secs life, the women he dated.

now, i want to know more about his ex WIFE. in this book he also talked for about 1 page about going to grad skool and becoming a Skool Psychologist. I would like a whole chapter or book on that.

he mentions his mother was a clinical psych for 30 years and had a practice where she largely had Neurotic Career Women as clients. His Mother Knows Women.

This is HUGELY interesting and Uncle Bern should write a book on women with his MOTHER. He needs to talk about his Based Mother a lot more and how she helped him understand women.

maybe involve his mother or sister in his videos or books. especially the mother. i know she is still alive and he talks to her regularly. She sounds like a Red Pilled Woman who Bern actually respects and with good reason.

i am considering writing a review on the amazon page. i know Bern really appreciates that. i might identify the review with muh alt right username. which I am NOT using on this page because even though this page talks about alt right a lot……..i still dont want to come out to the alt right as saying i am the alt right NEET OMEGA LOSER who writes the alt right neet omega loser blog whining about women and being a neet loser.

i mean haters could probably put two and two together, but i dont want to give it to them on a silver platter! i mean they could definitely do it.no doubt. im talking about my alt right nonneet username being connected with my alt right neet username here. never does muh real life identity being doxxed enter in. of COURSHE i have opsec of the utmost priority on that.

going to go for powerwalk at 1pm today. sunday. sunny but cold. need to use boots hehehe.

made 5 ovenburgers on today sunday. put them into little baggies with cheese and buns and put them in freezer. good 2 go.

did 1 load of laundry. medium sized. shirts and pants for job. done.

yesterday did 1 load of laundry too. drawz and socks and hats and gloves and dark stuff.

previous day did 1 medium load of laundry, all white t shirts only.

yesterday made 20 cigarets. trying to do that every saturday night. make 20 cigarets even if i only smoke 10 during the week. then put the 10 into a separate bag. i like having a big bag o cigarets in case i run out of pre rolleds.

also smokin 10 cigarets a week is not bad.

Bone Zone SHUT DOWN from youtube! i knew it would happen but that was less than 1 month. wow just wow.

I mean i always kinda liked ghoul, thought he was a little hard to listen to, but once he showed his handsome face i liked him 148800000000 times more. spent 25 bucks to buy his tshirt. he is a good goi, dindu nuffin.

1.4 mile powerwalk in snow. 20 degrees. not bad. i will go outside when its 20. not so much when it is 10. and it has been closer to 10 for a while.

took a benedryl at about 1:30pm to force myself to go to bed early tonight, get up.

emily youcis was a real degenerate, smokin MJ on camera, wearing incredibly skanky clothes on camera with her tits and ass hanging out, being a singer in a punk band. you KNOW she has done some degen shit during that time. drinkin, smokin, fookin the dirtiest randoms raw dog, taking it up the ass by guys she just met.

but i still accept her because when you come out as pro-white, using your real name, you are pretty much recanting your degen past, because everyone will turn against you. you will lose friends and fans. you will find out who your real friends and fans are.

i guess a similar thing could be said for evalion….but she didnt use her real name. well, her real FIRST name she did use. and then within 6 months her real last name was out there. but not sure what she is doing.

i would give evalion 1 dollar a month if she wasnt buddy buddy with sinead and they didnt call mill woes a degen phaggot. god damn. MILO is a degen phaggot. or prob jack donovan. but mill woes has repented for his gay past! and I’ll give him the benefit of the doubt and assume this gay past is very very minimal. like evalion or sinead never did degenerate shit. they did more degen shit than MW. pot and the fookin kettle here. i am willing to forgive both women, but they make that hard to do when they attack one of my favorite guys. these people usu are the same who hate andrew anglin and TRS and spencer too. its so stupid. they were the ones who started this stupid infighting. and they are usually k1ke on a stick christian haters too. hmmmmm. also are purity spiral as fook. i dont like that varg seems to be closer to these guys. but we are a bunch of degen, k1ke enablers, phag enablers, degen, milo luvers.

heh. i wonder which side emily will gravitate towards. the dramatic women side, or the less dramatic phag joo shill side hahaha.

i dunno. i just think that a guy who had one gay experience, says ok, got it out of my system, i dont like that, is less degen than a woman who has 6 gorillion casual straight experiences!

like casual degen gay sex just seems more honest and transparent about its degeneracy, ie, there’s absolutely no other reason to have this except for degen gay hedonistic pleasure. there is no way this could ever create new life. it was never even on the table. you don’t have to take steps to prevent it. it just cant happen.

so yeah its inherently perverted….but i think equally perverted is using Birth Control so much and having So Much Recreational Sex, that you FORGET that this is the process that creates life!

dec 19

heh. spent hours at home doing a job related project because i was slightly ashamed about not finishing it by the time i left. dont want to disappoint the team. so i finished it at home. i dont want to do this every single day but i did really want to finish this before tomorrow morning. and i did. i mean i had to Streamline My Process because I had never done any of this before so it was slow going. at least now i could do it faster if needed. and i made some super in depth documentation. they might not appreciate all the details. too much they’ll say! well ok i’ll scale it back in the future. had a very relaxed stress free day today, including a 2 hour meeting that was more like a training class. didnt need to impress anyone or explain shit or sell shit. but i got more actual work done at home than i did while i was there.

office holiday lunch tomorrow, i was going to use today to prepare my witty banter, and failed to do that!

was so cold today could not do more than a 15 minute powerwalk.

still kind of sound like an autistic, spaghetti pockets moron when i talk to people, even just small talk! so frustrating.

I mean I try to be nice, I think they can see that i am trying to be nice and friendly and open and polite, but i am just a little socially awkward hehehe. i mean come on there are a few slightly awkward introverts in the office in addition to me!

dec 20

holiday lunch today. spent all yesterday finishing this “project” draft rather than preparing witty, charismatic banter to impress all 15 people in the department. ran a little late from office to restaurant. apologized profusely. only spot was sitting right next to My Direct Manager. he is a really good guy and I am grateful I can say that and it’s the truth. the majority of people don’t have a manager like that. I could TOTALLY get a Good Recommendation from this guy IF I do a good job AND I Just Darn Talk To Him!!!!! He is always in a good mood and laughing at his own jokes. I kind of like this. not in an arrogant way but more like he is genuinely a Jolly Man. He has more than a Semi Charmed Life and he KNOWS it and he is thankful for it. he has a great Career, he’s highly educated and working in a field he enjoys, working on a PhD in his field, from a good school, has a not-ugly wife and more than 2 young children. and good people skills, gets along with everybody, makes everybody feel comfortable. also he is tall and fairly handsome. but pretty down to earth and not arrogant. but not underconfident either.

yes i stalked his wife on linkedin and google. yes uncle bernard, i have NO BOUNDARIES hahahaha. (uncle bern is appalled that All Women have No Boundaries and are always GOOGLING people, he finds that crazy and rude. I see where he’s coming from….but dont you want to know about the people you work with? of course bern, or any normie would say……….JUST TALK TO THEM ABOUT IT.

I mean yeah I DO, I just use the online stuff to supplement and jog memory. To add to my notes. I can’t remember were so and so went to college, did they go to x y or z, i forgot what he said his wife does, how old his kids are, etc.

i felt a little bad because i was nervous and not contributing to the conversation like a normie. not very charismatic, not very witty. this is the downside from having a Rough Three Years. you don’t have anything interesting or positive to say.

or, in general, stories about yourself and your life. you dont have anything you can talk about but all your years of failure and rejection and giving up hahahaha. and you know you shouldnt talk about that! so what DO you talk about? your interests in Huhwhyte Nationalism, Alt Right, black metal? these are professionals with masters degrees making over 50k a year who go to ANTI-TRUMP protests and pro-hillary protests! and they’re gonna listen to the new, underachieving new guy on how their whole Weltanschauung is wrong? sheeeit. im the one making 13k a year, with no wife or kids, they’re making 50k a year and have a house, wife/husbando, and kids who are going to college and will prob be successful too, unless they fook up in college like I did!

so thoughts like this make it difficult to make small talk in big groups at lunch hahahaha.

i mean no ones asked me why i didnt get a masters degree, and if they do, i’ll once bitten twice shy, i wanted to get more working experience first, so i could determine what is the best masters degree to get. i just want to become competitive and work really any of a range of possible jobs. i like counseling but i honestly dont think it would be useful for me to get a masters degree in counseling. because i want to help white neet men and white marriages. not be a social worker to black thugs. i can’t TELL people that though!

i mean its similar to how people who want to become teachers have to start out their first few years in shitty black schools. people who want to become cops have to start out first few years in shitty black cities. its called PAYING YOUR DUES, its NORMAL.

so why aren’t more normies red-pilled on race then?

because they’re DOUBLING DOWN.

the teachers much moreso than the cops, hahahahaha.

every day children are taught to hate? klan families with kids wearing trump shirts. come on. there are about ten people tops in the klan in the US, and they don’t really HATE negros. They just want an end to forced diversity and forced anti-whitism. they want to be around other whites and have their children mate with other whites and not to live in dangerous nonwhite shitholes. they want a strong, safe community. they dont HATE anybody. they just dont want their white daughters having brown babies. stupid a&e commerican for “generation kkk.” really trying to hit people in the feels.

there’s like 5 people in the KKK in 2017 hahahahaha. COME ON.

do a show about the alt right. well, then they would spin it the same way their spinning spencer. a big part of the alt right hehehehe. but like in the atlantic piece, spencer looked pretty GOOD. I could see that actually REACHING one undecided person.

tok benedryl today at around 2:30 pm. got a sleeping mask as well. try that out. also got a tape measure for body to get exact measurements. waist: about 34 inches. chest: about 39. leg: ideally, 27 or 28. total manlet hahaha.

got any 33 27 pants hahahaha

but yeah i like having this. just so i know what muh actual body actually IS. of COURSE clothes makers are WILDLY inconsistent with their measurements. i need to know where to START though. 32? 33? 34?

dec 21

http://www.theblaze.com/news/2016/12/20/white-guys-offered-new-years-resolutions-from-ultra-liberal-mtv-news/

mtv new years resolutions for white guys, getting some coverage right nao

http://dailycaller.com/2016/12/19/mtv-offers-up-new-years-resolutions-for-white-guys-video/

http://www.vdare.com/posts/mtvs-new-years-resolutions-for-white-guys-a-response

white racist site vdare actually high in the news results hahahaha

http://www.breitbart.com/big-hollywood/2016/12/19/mtvs-new-years-resolutions-for-white-guys-stop-mansplaining-stop-saying-woke-blue-lives-matter-isnt-a-thing/

wow, would ya get a load of the khazar milkers on that

dec 21

went to lunch with old colleague i had not seen in a long time. the person who is very nice and kind to me. acts as a reference for me. mutually knows both me and…….That Woman. we actually had a very good and animated talk, no autistic silent moments, like no time had passed, and, i was kinda pleasantly surprised, we did not talk about That Woman at all. our colleague somewhat likes the gossip. i kinda expected them to say SO……whatever happened between you and that woman? and i was fully prepared to take the high road, but still be honest, and say yeah that really really sucked for me, i was really upset for a long time, it’s still sad, it’s just SAD, i was stupid but she was stupid too, i was so disappointed, i wish she tried a little harder to Euthanize Our Rel With Dignity, but oh well, life goes on, i understand why she did what she did, she’s still a good person, I wish her well, I forgive her, I’m not mad at her, I’m getting over it.

but didnt even have to say any of that.

of course at the same time i secretly hope the mutual friend will contact That Woman and say guess who I saw, he’s doing well, he got a new job, come on you should have been a little nicer to him. heh. and then i would totally Accept her. even though she’s older, probably fooked 20 badbois in the past 1.5 years, maybe had a baby, maybe had some abortions, maybe got more experience in being a horrible person and casual secs and throwing people away and acting like a baby. AND being more successful at me in job. being TOUGH. saying fook you we cant help you, i am the manager and i’m saying GOODBYE, we dont have the TIME to fix your unreasonable demands, it’s not WORTH IT to us.

that she was able to TOUGH IT OUT through tough personal times, and tough job times, and just ignore me like I was nothing, and tough it out on a job I was struggling so much with, and tough it out for SO much longer, AND bounce back from a layoff super quickly, into another high stress job where you have to be tough, but you probably get paid a slightly above average (avg being 27k a year) wage as compensation. and i cant tough it out well enough as an average normie, to make an average wage.

totally SMITING me AND then going on to do WAY better at life. insult to injury hehehehe. and its not intentional. and intent does absolutely matter. it was just extremely painful………………………..for me. hehehehehe.

i just hate doing the wrong thing. i hate thinking i might do the same wrong thing in the future. make the same mistake again because i will be a COWARD again. its not that i didnt know what I should do, what I should have done was obvious even at that time! I just didnt have the courage to say it. so my mistake was not having enough courage. not acting with courage in a timely manner.

is that really such a god damn CRIME? i think other people would have been more forgiving of that. it was just a fookin PERFECT STORM, a perfect shitstorm. worst possible thing at the worst possible time.

fooking peloton commerical. i want to bang the rich skinny mom. i want to bang the tuff gurl robin the peloton instructor. i am not going to go easy on HER hahahahahahahahahahahahahaha.  but my main concern is, what is this womans CAREER to be living in that HOUSE??????? clearly ivy league graduate degree, near-c-level management in a fortune 10 company hehehehe. all those women like to work 100 hours a week then exercise 50 hours a week because they know they still need to have a perfect body hahahaha. then they neglect their family and their kids grow up to be school shooter neet virgin druggie burnouts hahahahahahaha. at least they can afford their drugs with their mommys money. careerbux hahahaha. fooking peloton. fook peloton. stupid word. stupid shitbike. fook it.

hehehe the colleague gave me a nice pastry/cake/sweets and i ate a chunk of it and it turned out to have like 450 calories in it hehehehehe. oyyyyyy veyyyyyyyy. they are the kind of nice person who always brings in treats and snacks and donuts and sweets and buys people lunch. my god. that is how i became acquainted with her, because she was always NICE to me, and I really do appreciate that kind of stuff.

heh. that was how i became friends with That Woman too, who was nice in a similar way. damn i miss that. yeah its NO SURPRISE at all that i got feelings for her. a pretty young gurl being VERY NICE TO YOU. the only thing that’s SURPRISING was that I didnt fall in luv with her SOONER! but that was HOW MUCH I respected peoples relationships, that i had NO desire to interfere or fook up her relship, that I didn’t let myself get feelings for a Taken Woman. but once she was not taken, and i let myself get the feels, the HORSE WAS OUT OF THE BARN and it wasnt ever gonna go back in. HOW IS THAT SO HARD TO UNDERSTAND? it isn’t. i dont think any reasonable adult would find that hard to understand. sheeeeit, even SHE probably UNDERSTOOD it. she just didnt want to face a tuff situation in order to do me one last favor. just back out and do the irish goodbye hahahahaha.

whats funny is that i have done the irish goodbye many a time when I was a drinker. but that was different. I was just leaving social events quietly, not Terminating entire relationships!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11

i just like the term irish goodbye hahahaha.

also you just CANT pull an irish goodbye on a real relship of 2.7 years. thats not what it is, thats not how it works. it’s just sneaking out of a large-ish PARTY when you are too drunk, tired, or awkward to say goodbye in a POLITE manner like a NORMIE. its super MINOR. Abandoning a relship needs a different term altogether. How about “abandonment” or “abandoning a relship.”

which is what i thought “ghosting” was. but thats a stupid word too and i think it works better with the minor semi faux pas of an irish goodbye!

so yeah. 90% of the time i did it, i was falling down drunk, shouldnt have been even LOOKING at a car, and probably didnt want anyone to try to stop me from driving. YIKES. glad those days are GONE. at least i became a better person than THAT.

maybe i was blazed af on MJ? thats a little better.

was listening to this middle class man tell his story, i guess he would be one of our “customers” or “clients” so I tried to help him for 2 minutes and practice my bullshitting on a system i knew even less than he did, and he was so gracious and nice, and was like you guys have such patience to work with people like me, and i was like hey just doin our job, thats what were here for, glad to do it, i’m just glad you dont have an emergency right now and youre screaming at me to fix it, and I don’t have a goddamn EXPERT in the next room who is basically twiddling his thumbs waiting for something to do! and then I grab him he helps you and I watch and learn along with you.

the “client”/internal customer might be one of the 15% who dont have a masters degree, but he has plenty of Industry Experience in a Bigass Fortune 10 company. kinda autistic but just really really nice. I appreciate that.

he talked about his son and daughter. he convinced his son not to go away to college. he sat him down and showed him spreadsheets and convincing calculations that the son could save at LEAST 50 grand by living at home and going to the cheapo college. that the College Experience wasnt WORTH 50 grand that you would struggle to pay back.

the kid listened. he lived at home, worked 60 hours a week in a Machine Shop, did associates at cheap college, then finished Engin Degree at local univ, all while living at home, working full time, doing many many classes online. now he is an engineer making damn good money with a wife and kid and dogs. about 148800000000000 times better than me.

like i bet he made more money at the machine shop than i am right now. and 60 hours a week. AND doing engin classes. the father said i would go by his room at 4 in the morning and be like WHACHA DOIN SON and the son was like i got an assignment due at 6 AM!

point is, kid had a great work ethic!

another guy tried to convince HIS son of the same thing, showed him the numbers, said here’s what you’ll have to pay back, taking a real unflinching longterm look at finances in other words, you can save a LOTTTTTT of money by going to cheap local college for 2 years, THEN you can transfer to finish your degree at State Univ. it doesnt say podunk redneck college on your diploma! and the kid fought him and say no i want to go to state univ right out of high school. well, at least this kid is going an engin major!

well at least he is probably getting some prime college poosay!!!!! 18 year old QTs! this is a party skool after all. All my life i will regret not being able to bang 18 year old 9/10’s like he is doing no. sheeeeeeeeeeeit thats WORTH 100 grand, isn’t it?

probably, because that instills you with confidence that will last you a LIFETIME, and then you will prob be successful in life, and MAKE 100 grand to pay those loans back, be a winner chad normie, have GFs and a wife and eventually children. because you banged some 18 yo QT’s while in college which gave you MASSIVE CONFIDENCE. BABOON BRAINFRAME.

OR, you could just get rejected, or just not even really try, and get super frustrated because you see 14880000000000000000000 perfect qt’s a day and you have never been with one. or if you have it was just for 2 days then the door was shut hehehehehe. and still pay the 100 grand and come out with no confidence, no skills, no charisma, no value add, no women, no charm, no grace, no game.

im glad im not in a univ town where i would see 60000000000000000000 18-25 yo qt’s all day erry day. i used to be. it was RIDICULOUS. it’s bad enough if i see a handful of Young Sluts when I go to the MALL twice a year. no thank you. TRIGGERED.

i know of a local skool where there are a good number of young qt’s. right out of high school. 18-20 years old. but half of em arent huhwhyte. this is triggering in a different way. but actually less painful I think! than seeing tons of young white women. that hits even harder on the lizard brain. but yeah race matters too. but i have some power in that. i feel empowered by contributing 10 dollars a month to pro-white people hehehehehe, empowered in a way i dont feel when dealing with young qt white wimmin. maybe if i gave THEM 10 dollars a month they would stroke muh ego. hang out with me and be nice to me and interested in me hahahahaha.

i might not be able to have white children of my own, and i see me donating money to Alt Right and Pro White as doing whatever I CAN do to help The Cause, The Movement, My People, My Race, the future of my people and our children, even if they are not MY children directly.

to be fair i am dnating 2 dollars to people that are NOT explicitly pro-white. they haven’t crossed the rubicon yet. but they are white conservatives hehehehehe. who are not anti white even implicitly. i would prefer that they be explicitly pro white. would get me to up muh donation hehehehe.

white conservatives get 12 dollars a year, pro white white conservatives get 20 dollars a year hehehehehe. upmost tier gets 25 a year. weev, andrew anglin, TRS, mill woes, fatherland.

well COULDNT i do MORE good by just donating MORE money to ONE source? save all muh donations for TRS? maybe that will push them over the edge into……what exactly. they are already on a good path.

i am even gonna give 5 dollars to foreveralone george feels.

lena dunham goes into the oven hahahahaha. you wish you had abortion. you WOULD. i’m more surprised by the fact that shes never HAD an abortion. i bet the lying jooish bitch is LYING. i bet she DID have abortions and is trying to portray herself as some innocent “normal” woman. close your legs you damn evil satanic wh0re. we dont need any more of your kind in this world. actually she prob SHOULD abort her evil SATAN SPAWN. but not even fox joos will tell you that shes jooish. NORMIES think shes WHITE. they think that fat pig amy schumer is white. this is how blue pilled normies are on the JQ. and why the JQ is such a bigass mindblowing game changing thing. it changes you hahahahaha.

and i am HAPPY that so many YOUNG people are hip to the JQ, even if semi-jokingly. hell yes you can have fun and make jokes with it. but i think they honestly GET IT too. its IMMENSELY powerful to have YOUNG people understand the JQ. I didnt get it until I was……i dunno at least 28 years old. I mean I was aware of joos and calling people k1k3s when i was 22, and knew j00s were scheming and greedy and evil back then……..but I didnt REALLY understand it. i wasnt even reading stormfront or vnn, and there wasnt any alt right or /pol for me to read. no pepes, no memes. no trs, no weev, no daily stormer, no /pol, no greg johnson, no richard spencer. what a sad world hahahaha.  im not even sure if there was reddit. the best thing we had was heartiste. who is honestly pretty GOOD. he is pretty good on the JQ. but was he back THEN? prob not as much.

i did get into greg johnson around 2012 though hahahaha. didnt i do my amazon timeline recently???!??!?!?? well i was reading and listening to greg and counter currents WELL before I bought his book.

2012: mindweapons, counter currents, and eradica did it for me. they converted me hahahaha. and david duke. THANK YOU hahaha. oh yeah i should donate to counter currents prob eh.

i dont expect ANY woman to understand this. I just want a woman who is instinctively REPULSED by being with any race other than a white man. I want a woman who has never BEEN with a nonwhite man, WOULD NEVER EVEN THINK OF IT without disgust. And I honestly think there are a goodly number of these women out there, they just wont tell it on the mountain in front of their friends for fear of being called you-know-what.

 

BEING SENSITIVE IS ALWAYS A NET LOSS

dec 1 2016

had a dream last night about an old friend from my college days that of course we drifted apart, but he was a great guy and i hope he’s doing well. he was both one of the smartest guys i ever met, and also very principled and moral and a good moral person. he was also funny and hilarious and had great social charisma. he was also a very good musician. i had a total mancrush on him and was flattered that he seemed to like me. he had a very great personality and with that personality could probably get any woman he wanted, but physically he was kinda short. he was in great shape though, stayed very active with exercise. i guess he was pretty good at basketball too. well he certainly liked to play it a lot. he was pretty much responsible for introducing me to tom waits. he was fun to drink with and was no square there, but obviously he didnt drink so much that he couldnt be a winner at life. he was going for a phd in cultural marxist frankfurt skool bullshit and i was so impressed by the Brainy Intellectual stuff he read and wrote, that I was so stupid it made no sense to me, all this shit about reifying and rhizomes and deleuze and guattari and lacan and derrida and foucault and badiou and bordieua and baudrillard and adorno and barthes and mcluhan and zizek and all that ((((CRITICAL THEORY)))) stuff.

I had no idea that it was total jooish poison. I’m not sure that he did either!

So, with that perspective, it’s kinda troubling that such a good, solid guy would make his career in something so awful and poisonous. because when you’re young, that shit impresses you because it makes you sound really really really SMART. I actually knew a couple people like this. I had another friend in that same department who was similarly a very nice, charismatic, smart, principled, moral, solid man. they deserve better than this jooish bullshit.

anyway i hope they are both doing well. they are both great guys and I will never forget them. i just dont get the critical theory, cultural marxist, frankfurt school, jooish bullshit.

anyway back to the first guy. he could have had any woman he wanted despite his short stature because his personality was so great. BUT, interestingly, his fashion style was very scrubby, like a damn neet virgin. he could have cleaned up VERY well, but DIDNT. he had long greasy hair and a long wispy “beard”. he probably did not shower enough. this was not from a lack of confidence, but just because he was really that much of a “free spirit artist”, as well as a very smart articulate academic intellectual, as well as having pretty damn good social skills. not an awkward autiste whatsoever, but every bit as high iq as an autist. he just LOOKED like a homeless person hahahahaha. now I think after he finished his phd he started presenting himself better hahahaha. which is good, he was not ugly.

and because he had such a good, strong personality, he could get GFs and had been in several long term monog rels. I don’t think he ever did too much degenerate shit with women. never a “player”, never a womanizer, never open rels, and oh good lord I forgot he was CATHOLIC too!

anyway in the dream he’s like, we gotta watch this movie, it’s great. and I was like great, I like your taste, if you say its good, im sure its good. i mean he did/does have good taste in movies and music and books.

so we started watching this movie that was some 1970s french or italian “art” degeneracy like godard or pasolini. Which I NEVER really liked that kind of artsy fartsy movie, and now I like them even less. because of the jooish degeneracy embodied in them. the opening scene had a bunch of big women with big breasts but also huge erect dicks dancing around like the wild androgynous men/women of borneo. the scene went on for way too long. then the movie went on to tell this artsy, intellectual, elaborate story of how Whites were the Cancer of the Human Race, Whites were evil, whites are all oppressive, horrible natsees, and telling this story in a very artsy, college bourgeois phd sort of way, that you could feel real artsy and intellectually superior.

so my friend asks me what i think and im like oh great, this great guy I admire really likes this antiwhite bullshit, and he’s a brilliant guy, way smarter than me, theres no way i could convince him that whites are great, i mean i cant believe such a smart good awesome guy BELIEVES this bullshit! this could really complicate our Frandship!

And I was like well i dunno, i usually like your taste but I never liked this weird new wave godard pasolini shit, I mean its just too much for me, i mean come on, giant dicks, its just too much for me.

i did not mention the whole antiwhite message. that would be a lot harder to talk about with him.

anyway that was the dream hahahaha.

i never did talk to him about whiteness. but he was a great white man. and he did finish the phd i THINK. im sure he’s still a great guy, i just hope he doesnt spend too much of his career talking about how bad whiteness is.  and white = evil. he got along with nonwhites very well, which i think his family had some nonwhite foster children in their home. now for weev that helped weev become race conscious because the nonwhite children sucked. my friend, i guess his nonwhite foster “siblings” werent so bad. well good for him then hahaha.

i dont want to dox the guy hahaha.

but yeah what would HE say about the alt right, or whiteness? would he be a terrible shitlib saying that anyone who uses the term “cultural marxism” is a crazy, white, racist conspiracy theorist. cultural marxism is not a real thing.

i never read any of his papers. well i think i read a few pages at the time, and it made no sense. i dont remember anything about whiteness. maybe some stuff about signifiers and reification.

so i could easily look up his papers NOW and read them and probably get a sense of what he thinks about whiteness, right?

yeah probably! and im not sure i WANT to !

it was also funny we never really talked about his skoolwork that much, he never talked about it, and he also didnt seem to spend much time on it. he seemed to have PLENTY of free time to hang out, watch movies, go out, be social. i thought phd students were supposed to be chained to their books and work 80+ hours a week!!!!!! but not him!

so was he a bad student? maybe, but its kinda hard to be a “bad student” and get into a All Expenses Paid PhD program at a Very Good Skool. i mean thats how smart he was.

shit i would have liked to hear him teach a class, or do a phd defense especially. i know eventually he started teaching undergrads like most grad students did.

anyway he was/is a great guy, i wish him the best, but i also want him to have white children! he would be a great father of course.  there is a risk that he might marry a nonwhite woman though. although when i knew him, all his GFs were white women.

ok heres whats interesting. some white people go into an Urban Public School full of poor blacks and they become redpilled on race, like yep once i saw the real world, i knew that blacks and whites are very different.

and other whites say i became even MORE committed to education because i saw how precious these poor black children were, they were every bit as smart as anybody else, they just need better resources, opportunities, education, etc, so ive spent my life really trying to help these kids who really really NEED that help.

so which is the truth about race hahahaha.

i have no doubt there are many smart ghetto black kids out there that would benefit from a good education. plenty of little dr ben carsons out there.  but honestly i have no desire, and im honestly not TOUGH ENOUGH, to want to work in a black school to help those kids. i would rather teach white kids. really i dont want to teach kids at all hahahahaha. beyond being a homeschool teacher of my own children, and even there i dont trust my abilities!

but yeah when i was hanging out with somebody i thought was really really cool like that, i sometimes felt insecure and inferior, like im nowhere NEAR that cool, why are they hanging out with ME? once they find out how uncool i am, theyll get bored with me and dump me.

i guess i felt a similar way about women that i liked! that i was “privileged” enough to hang out with a few times!

classic inferiority complex. im not cool enough to be friends with this person. im not cool enough to date this grill.

and the women eventually “proved” it by dumping me, although the men i had mancrushes on, well they were pretty much “faithful” to me though! like i say, they were good solid moral men through and through, and never did me wrong! we just drifted apart due to time and distance.

hehehehe kinda wish i had met him when i was in high school hahaha. not to crap on my high school friends tho hahaha. but i might have had a chance at getting his Sloppy Seconds hahahaha. that was how much of an omega i was, i couldnt even get Sloppy Seconds because my friends couldnt get sloppy seconds either hahahaha.

well i prob could have gotten sloppy seconds from one of my friends who was ok with the ladies, qt ones too……but i was so proud i didnt WANT sloppy seconds from muh friends! or i just thought it was weird and gross. it IS pretty weird and gross!!!!!!!!! plus I wanted a GF, not casual hookup secs. i didnt like SLUTS back then either! i wanted a NICE GURL! i.e., not a slut.

so yeah, i pretty much ALWAYS disliked sluts. very consistent there.

ok thats enough memory lane bullshit. i just wish i were doing more in the present that would make good memories later. but all i got is the failure of the last 3 years, the painful memory of That Woman, etc. nothing really GOOD that i will happily remember. well maybe the good times i had with that woman. but i dont WANT to remember those! i want to have BETTER memories with a BETTER woman!

see i use overthinking as a way to cope with stress and worry. IF I THINK ABOUT THIS ENOUGH, I WILL FIGURE OUT AN ANSWER AND FIX THE PROBLEM. but it never works like that. i never find the answer. i never fix the shit. i just think and think and think and worry and ruminate and overanalyze and write and write and write and write. i order for things to improve, i need to get out and actually DO shit.

the best punishment for sluts is for their fathers to shake their heads and say i am very very very disappointed in you, and you will have to work to regain my approval.

but this assumes sluts HAVE fathers who can BE disappointed in them.

so without that….i think i determined shaving the sluts head bald would be a good punishment.

how about tattoo on their forearm saying “SLUT”? pretty good, but that would be guaranteeing they would never STOP being a slut.

how about a tattoo somewhere nonvisible then?

like i said…..I NEVER liked sluts.

I WILL give a slut a chance, if she’s really willing to repent and reform. of course how do you trust that? i guess look at her repentance. the first slut i was with was a very secs-positive bourgeois jooess, so of course she wasnt ashamed of being a cvm dumpster, she thought it was liberating and empowering.

hehehe there are two kinds of people in the world, racists and nonracists, and never the twain shall meet. i think if all the racists segregated away from the nonracists the world would be a better place. and then of course in the racist side, each race would then segregate.

whites are racist! racism is the worst evil! whites are evil!

once you realize this is what they are really saying, you cant unhear it hahahaha.

there is literally NO BENEFIT to being sensitive. it is WEAK. FRAGILE. NON TOUGH. being TOUGH is ALWAYS good. weak people break down and cant get shit done. and they are miserable because everybody rejects them because they are weak and sensitive. hahaha.

oh but they see the world in a unique way and create great art!

  1. at least half of them DONT, i never created great art
  2. well thats not entirely true, I wrote 2 and a half pretty good songs. long epic songs too haha. and a bunch of decent bukowski ripoff poems. and at least 3 book length blogs. 1 sweet doom level.
  3. art is not that important. its a nice luxury but its not very useful at all. it is not a vital role in society. its nice to have, and its really fun to listen to music from ages 11 to 25 or so, but after that, theres more important things to do, like run society, have children, and music and art does not help with that at all. yeah it adds to a sense of culture but you know what else does? children. government and society and civilization. people inventing shit and building civilizations and employing people and doing work. this takes TOUGH, STRONG people, not SENSITIVE, WEAK people.

plus there is plenty of good art made by Tough, Strong people!

oh but sensitive people Love more deeply.

but this is WORTHLESS unless they find another sensitive person who can APPRECIATE that AND luv them the same way back! Sensitive Luv is just Wasted on Tough, Nonsensitive Normies! they will DUMP you for being too WEAK and NEEDY!!!

and how many sensitives are there? it CANT be more than 25%.

so yeah, ITS NOT WORF IT to be sensitive and weak hahahaha. i wanna trade it in to be tough. so i can LUV people more intensely! that is TOTALLY not worth it! I don’t WANT to luv people so intensely! theres something WRONG with me!

all this sensitivity has made it excruciatingly difficult to live a normie adult life with 26k job and 6.51/10 waifu!

i should see if muh new 13k a year job can send me on a business trip to colorado. or NV, CA, OR, WA, or MA hahahahahahahahahahahaha. every week.

i mean shit theres an idea. why not do job searching in colorado?

because I dont really want to MOVE to colorado, i want to stay near muh family! they are the only family i have! i wouldnt mind visiting colorado for a week or 2 and being ridiculous blazed that whole time, but i dont really want to MOVE ANYWHERE!

and some people are not like this. they dont mind moving anywhere in the world. shit i kinda wish i were more like that. because that is a TOUGHER person. who will leave their family behind to go where the jobs are.

you know you like somebody when you make a MIX tape/cd/stream for them. did anyone ever do that for ME?

well sort of. there were some manly no homo mixes in there where i exchanged Metal Mixes with another Metal Fan who worked at the Music Shop where I took some Guitar Lessons hahahaha. good guy but he was more into death metal, like Early Technical Death Metal with especial liking to Technical Death Metal Bass. I wonder if he was happy about all the new technical death metal that has come out. i cant even. like maybe necrophagist and stuff like that hahaha. i dont know. not my cup of tea.  we both liked bands like nile and cynic and early cryptopsy. naturally he really liked death. i liked their “sound of perseverance” album but never got much further. (although now i am kinda interested in their old stuff, hehehehe.)

well ultimately ive always been more of a black metal guy than a death metal guy, and he could not help me there.

oh shit i wonder what he would say about deathspell omega. that is probably the most technical band i like. and they really are TOO damn technical hahahahaha.  cool it with the nonsense riffs guy. i thought you were black metal hehehehe. technical black metal. i am probably more open to that that technical death metal.

could demilich be called technical death metal? i know they have very cult following.

again, i like stuff thats more Atmospheric and Emotional and Sensitive.

but its funny. i stopped paying attention to metal for like 5 years and those were THE most important years TO pay attention because SO much shit happened. when i came back to metal, it was like a whole new world. 10 generations of evolution had happened and suddenly i was an old man who didnt understand the youth. all within 5 years.

i was out of it from like 2002 or 3 until 2008 or 9?

uhhhhhh yeah between 2002 and 2009 a LOT of shit DID happen in metal hahahaha.

it would have been nice to have been paying attention when the deathspell album “Si Monumentum” came out in like….2004?

well i DO remember when paracletus came out in 2010.

i DO remember when varg got out of prison and came back with “belus” in like 2010.

i remember when the alcest album “ecailles de lune” came out and invented “blackgaze” hahahaha.

so yeah i didnt miss it all.

anyway metal. i dont even like talking about metal with metal fans, because they like different metal bands than me and will try to push some metal bands on me, when im not looking for new metal super actively. there needs to be a come to jesus moment and then ONE BAND will reveal itself to me at the right time, like saor right now.

i am very ok with that, im just grateful to be able to enjoy fresh music at all anymore!

did i mess up muh brain with too much alcohol and MJ when i was young?

YES, PROBABLY!!!!!

i used to be smart in high school! i was great at high school! i peaked in high school, hahahaha.

then 15 years later, you have to tell people, i was smart in high school! I SWEAR!!!!!! I WAS SMART ONCE!!!!! and then these young smartasses roll their eyes. yeah right, old dumb man. then why are you working here at your age. obviously didnt make good decisions with your life.

yikes i get to writing and then it INEVITABLY BECOMES super negative and despairing and horribly derpressing!!!! SO STOP WRITING!!!!!!

just as surely inevitable as the sp1c n1g cycle will guarantee that sp1cs and n1gs will inevitably stuff themselves with fried meat until they become crippled by morbid obesity and require heroic medical care until they gracelessly expire, hahahahahahahaha.

so yeah. theres no benefit to being sensitive, weak, and fragile. these are BAD THINGS!

the TOUGHER you are, the easier time you will have in life, the better you will do in life, the less suffering you will suffer through. the more self respect you will have from being able to achieve a minimum of normieness.

psilocybin decreasing depression and anxiety? ok i’ll buy that hahaha. i would have to take a TINY dose though. i took psilocybin exactly twice in muh life. when i was 20 years old. ykes. the first time was ok. the second time was HORRIBLE and i felt horribly alone and alienated and heartbroken and despairing.  realy more sorrow and emptiness than anxiety. which i guess is actually BETTER than anxiety. that feeling of panic is just horrible. but thats the last time i will ever do mushrooms around a woman i am in luv with who doesnt like me hahaha and would rather be Romantic with other guys in front of me hahahaha.

maybe that is why i am so sensitive to rejection. cuz i did mushrooms WHILE a woman was essentially rejecting me, so it imprinted somehow. really the only way to “fix” that is to do mushrooms while i am with a woman and she is Totally Accepting me. being with me, having tender monog relship secs, cuddling, etc.

i would also do it alone.

i would also be open to doing super duper tiny doses like they did in this medical experiment. though when you “TRIP” they always say dont take too LITTLE, you gotta take enough to actually feel something maannnn.

so i say just take a teensy weensy bit. like taking one puff of MJ. you ever take one puff of MJ and feel it? then you might be a sensitive snowflake like me hahahaha.

so yeah i would be open to that. take such a tiny dose that you could get up in the morning and go to WORK the next day like you can with MJ hahahaha.

HA! this “straight dope” message board looks pretty good

http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=812509

can you be mistaken about your own romantic luv for a person

http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=812505

tell me your job search techniques

http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=812025

how many females are open to the idea of a scat fetish in a relship hahahahahaha

great quote from that one:::  ”

11-27-2016, 01:42 PM
astro astro is offline
Guest
Join Date: Jul 1999

OK maybe there is a beautiful, kind, loving woman out there who will shit on a plate so you can eat her feces and relish the intimacy this creates for you. You gaze into her gorgeous, endless eyes as you take your fork and carefully nip off some of the warm, fragrant brown turd she has produced for you. You inspect it lovingly and notice how it was formed in convergent layers by her bowel and the little bits and pieces of undigested food woven throughout. No pinworms or other creatures are waving back at you, so reverently you lift the morsel to your nose inhaling deeply and flaring your nostrils to get the full impact. The pungent aroma is overpowering so close and up you are in heaven.

You pass the aromatic brown chunk between your lips and explore it with your tongue rolling it around it your mouth. Firm yet soft you feel it dissolving in your mouth before you gulp it down. You want more and dig in! Seeing you smacking and chewing so lustily with a filmy smear of poo, her poo, coating your lips she gazes beatifically at you and the connection is so real you feel transcendent.

Hope you find your gal.       ”

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

hehehehehe nice

well you need to take a few years and get some therapy and fix yourself before you can ever be cured of your virginity, and also you have such deep issues, you will never get a gf, just maybe some casual sexs with crazy sluts, after you do like 5 years of therapy.

 

dump him because his lack of success in his career indicates immaturity and abusiveness and issues and insecurity and that he’s in a bad place and is incapable of being in a relship because he’s not happy with his career and never will be until he gets his masterz degree and gets a sweet office job that he finds SO FUN AND FULFILLING just like you

from this thread:    ”         [–]Cheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeez 2 points 48 minutes ago
Here’s what people usually want when they say they want closure: they want to have the last word in all the major arguments they had with their ex, and they want their ex to listen and say “you’re right, I was wrong,” and mean it. But this is a fantasy. As I’m sure you realize, the conversation wouldn’t go anything like that in real life.       ”

hehehehe nice way of putting that. closure is bullshit. a myth. there is never any closure. you always want the other person back, until you havent seen them in 4 years and then you dont really want them any more. then you see then and you want them again and need a few months just to get over seeing them once hahahahaha.

took a tiny benedryl tablet instead of taking nyquil tonight. felt like one or the other.

i never liked the the write shit but dont send it approach.  i say send that shit. hold them accountable!! they dont get to do EVERYTHING on THEIR terms! They SHOULD see that their actions have consequences on other people!!

damn man that sucks. wanting her back after years because you know the shit is fixable. yeah but maybe she wouldnt want to fix it and would just dump you when you tried to fix it. being WILLING to fix it is just as important as being ABLE to fix it.

oh well just dump the toxic mentally ill abuser and find a better man, people are so upgradable like that.

NOT EVERY WOMAN WILL TREAT YOU LIKE YOU ARE REPLACEABLE, UPGRADABLE, OR DISPOSABLE!!!!!

even if they might like casual sex with a revolving door of replaceable, disposable dicks hahahaha.

dec 2

http://goaskalice.columbia.edu/answered-questions/i-dont-want-relationship-okay-0

if you dont want a relship mmkay, then you shouldnt have SECS. SECS shoudl ONLY occur WITHIN a relship. a mongo (hehehe) longterm relship. if you dont want a relship then you should also enter a period of Voluntary Celibacy until you ARE ready and willing to be in a relship. and THEN you can have your damn FUN SECS again hahaha.

fookin sociopath. so focused on their damn career that they dont see the benefit of a serious rel.

ok i am looking fwd to getting haircut today, very soon, and just wanted to record this damn stupid dream i had last night

YES it had THAT WOMAN and in a big way. I recall i was hanging out with her and laying my head on her beautiful soft white stomach and just rambling on about bullshit like music or something, even though i was very very worried about the state of our relship, but was scared to talk about it, so i just talked about anything else. however i felt there was still hope because she was willing to hang out wiht me and let me lay my head on her bare stomach. which is kind of intimate IMHO. never did that in real life hahahaha. couldnt even hang out with her anymore hahaha.

then i left and continued being worried. then i guess she dumped me. i went back to talk to her and she started literally running away. and i began chasing her and she conitnued running. i was running too. i was screaming after her pathetic begging things: please just talk to me! please respond! please lets just talk about this! PLEASE DONT TREAT ME LIKE THIS! i recall saying that exactly.

then i was heartbroken. then i was talking with another female friend i had during college. i was never attracted to or in luv with her. we just got along ok and had mutual respect. she was very smart and very funny. on the downside she was very shitlib (so was everybody) and had issues with Secsual Morality. At heart she was a good person who was mashed into this jooish neurotic somewhat mess because of Kollige and the Middle Class Career World, which her family was firmly in, and unfortunately pressuring her with high expectations.  also she was supremely judgmental and liked to gossip about drama. I am the SAME WAY, but these women were actually a little bit WORSE. they were still good people though. they just needed to cool it with the drama! also she was nonwhite, therefore Im not such a hateful racist that i want to throw all nonwhites in the oven hahahaha.

so in the dream i told her how devastated i was and she wasnt really being THAT comforting, saying, well, if she’s running away from you, she obviously doesnt want to talk to you! so stop trying to talk to her.

but i really really really WANT to talk to her!

well she OBVIOUSLY doesnt WANT to talk!

but thats SO UNFAIR! she doesnt get to throw me away like a piece of garbage without being held accountable for the consequences! you want to get out of this, you have to go through the discomfort of a damn uncomfortable conversation at least!

so i convinced the female friend to go and meet with That Woman and kind of act as my attorney/advocate because That Woman was not allowing me to meet and talk with her.

i was riding in a taxi with the woman friend. i was nervous as shit because this was my last chance to say what i wanted to say, and i had to say it through this other person. i was trying to use Wise Mind and articulate myself as clearly as possible as to what i wanted to say. I remember very clearly saying “I fully accept her decision. I’m not asking her to be with me. sure, in an ideal world i’d like her to be with me, but I fully accept that she’s decided to end the relationship. what i’m asking for is just….i dunno. more recognition of my broken heart. more recognition that our relationship was meaningful and valuable to her. we knew each other for 3 years and i THOUGHT i meant something to her, was valuable to her, made a difference in her life, and we shared what i thought was a great connection and some great memories. i never wanted to hurt her. and i never wanted her to HATE me. it seems like she hates me. what did she think i did? I want to know what she’s thinking and feeling about this, and to tell her what Im thinking and feeling about it. that’s why I just want to meet with her and talk to her, and its so frustrating she’s not willing to do that.”

basically not a big chance from real life here.

i also wanted to show my other female friend (WHOOPS, not supposed to refer to women as “females”, that is a TELLTALE SIGN that you are a huge redpill neet incel entitled niceguy omega virgin nevergf woman hater!!!!! who sees women as some weird alien species and not human beings!!!!) that i was in the right, that i wasnt some kind of creepy stalker controlling abuser manipulator who wanted something unreasonable.

the friend went in and i sat in the taxi very nervously.

after like an hour the friend came out and said that That Woman said she didn’t feel I really CARED ABOUT her as a real person, that I was just trying to MANIPULATE HER INTO SECS. (basically accusing me of being a Niceguytm.) that i had no regard for her feelings and wasnt willing to listen to her.

then i got angry and was like WRONG. thats TOTALLY WRONG. I care about her SO MUCH! I am DEVASTATED! i will be devastated for the next year! it wasnt all about secs! it was about LOVE and having a loving rel! i wanted a HELL OF A LOT MORE than just secs! this is about luv! hearts! relships! sharing lives together! and i care very much for her! i want the best for her! i want to be with her and help her build a happy life! and to share a happy life together! shes got this all WRONG! can i just go in there and talk to her myself! no? goddamn why cant she just let me talk to her???!!?!?! can you go back in there please and tell her what i just told you??

(it was kinda like my job where callers could not speak directly to the level 2’s who knew how to explain bad news, and had to go through ME, who didn’t really understand the shit!)

the friend advocate sighed, like yeah thats not gonna work, but i’ll go back in there one more time for you.

then she did. then she taxi drove away with me in it. we picked up some black thugs and dropped them off at a casino. i was like shit we gotta get back to where we were. i didnt know how to get there from where we now were. i asked the driver if he could go back to the house where we were before. he said sure. he was clearly very foreign and i thought he might be bullshitting, because it didnt look like we were getting any closer. i asked him where he was from and i think he said georgia. like the country of.

so that was about it. it was a very vivid, long, movielike dream. i think the benedryl put me into a deeper sleep and therefore a deeper dream. it was not great. pretty much illustrated what was going on in real life, except now i had an advocate who was willing to talk to her on my behalf, and she was able to confirm that That Woman had a very Wrong opinion on What I Had Done. in real life, i have no idea what she was thinking.

but really, her having the Wrong Idea did not make me any happier, in fact i was just more frustrated, and just wanted to send the advocate back in there to show that I was Right, and She Was Wrong!

see that reddit quote about closure about hahahaha.

so yeah. also the dream was sad because at the beginning i actually DID see her and had an intimate moment with her like i never had in real life. but the moment wasnt intimate for her AT ALL!

hhehehe. if it takes you longer than a year to get over…….then hell yeah it was true love!!!! fook yes you CARED ABOUT them!

so i hate the accusation that you just want SECS when really, you are in LUV with them and CARE about them and want the best for their LIFE!

but no its all about secs secs secs with these women. and not even sacred, holy, loving, babymaking, relationship secs, but they reduce everything down to negro casual sex. its the only thing they understand hahahaha. absolutely disgusting.

ACTIONS HAVE CONSEQUENCES. I guess i just wanted her to experience some consequences and not be able to avoid them so completely. i sure experienced some damn consequences.

that doesnt mean that i want to inflict pain or punishment on her! more like, i just want her to feel some REMORSE and to reflect on this and learn how to not do this again in the future!

and probably she will learn from it, and treat other guys better, and i will never know, and never experience the Better Kinder More Mature Her!

she was already very kind, i experienced a lot of her general kindness, so i know she was capable of it. it was just a matter of Choking in a High Pressure moment. like i never did that before! like on the job or something.

yeah but with a Relship, I would have at least written an email hahahaha. that doesnt require a lot of effort or courage.

well it DOES involve courage when you actually SEND it. maybe she DID write an email but wasnt courageous enough to click send!

so yeah i did not enjoy that dream hahahaha.

looking at days since spreadsheet because i put haircuts on there….

507 days since i last talked to her… (16.9 months)

473 days since i last emailed/contacted her   (15.77 months)

81 days since last haircut, yeah its time hahaha

389 days since intentionally looking at/using jooish filth pornography

later

got haircut at mens haircut place, good prices

rambled on to older white slavic woman about what i wanted. hard to articulate. finally got to the following clear actionable instructions:

“2 ON TOP, 1 ON THE SIDES”

and hopefully she understood that. i should write that on a flashcard which i bring next time in roughly 10 weeks hahahaha.

i usually get 1 or 2 all around. never this fading or two diff lengths. breaking out of comfort zone. it looks all right. somewhat militaristic and fashy. not bad.

2 ON THE TOP, 1 ON THE SIDES.

just tell them that. short. direct. unfookupable hahaha. these are the kind of instructions i like to receive for muh job. not some vague bullshit that can be interpreted 10 different ways, then you have to go back and ask 10 clarifying questions, and they sigh and eye roll and think youre an idiot even though they gave you these stupid vague instructions that they probably didnt even read or realize how vague they were.

so i should assertively say: i dont like vague instructions. i like clear, concise, unambigious instructions. 2 on the top, 1 on the sides. im not going to waste your time with stupid questions, so dont waste my time with stupid instructions that require stupid questions for clarification.

fooking fookbitch.

so yeah that dream sucked. its faggy as fook to lay your head on a gurls stomach but i like the idea of it.

i dont get it. secs is so cheap for them, they think you want cheap sex, when you want expensive luv, and then they get mad at you (well, NOT you, but niceguys, which we are NOT) when you want something that they consider cheap, which you dont even really want. cuz Cheap Sex is all they understand. when all you have is a hammer, everything looks like a nail hahahahaha.

yeah being a niceguy is bad and shameful but i STILL think women overreact to it. but im still not saying i was a niceguy hahahaha. cuz its bad and i really dont want to be that. but they overreact. they think you are a HORRIBLE person, when you are really just a WEAK, COWARDLY person.

kind of like her. I dont think she is a HORRIBLE person, i think she is generally a good, maybe even GREAT person, she just had a moment of cowardice.

how come women cant give us the same BENEFIT OF THE DOUBT?

yeah well not all women, not all women, not all women hahaha. not even most women would not give you the benefit of the doubt.

but yeah i sure would have liked to cuddle with her and touch her white stomach hahahahaha. so it sucks to DREAM about that 16 months later.

like the guy in that reddit. he went on dates with 30+ women and still couldnt stop comparing them to the woman who dumped him, who he couldnt get over, years later. the only thing thats gonna fix this for him is to find a woman who is BETTER. who can make him feel luv again.

that story resonated with me because hes in his 30s and wants to have children and a wife, and he wanted that woman to be his wife, and have children with her, and he can’t see having children with anyone else yet. yep when you get older and want a wife and children, the stakes are even higher than when you are 20 and just fooking like a horny n199er. and not all of us wanted to be degenerates like that!

basically i view women as degen n199ers who cant keep it in their pants, and me as a principled man who is more moral and principled and white and better and seeks a higher morality and understands deeper truths. which isnt entirely wrong, as i believe my principled view of sex is the Better one. and i want a woman who shares that Core Value. hard to find a woman who doesnt treat secs like a horny n1993r tho!

ff12 has good music too, another great game, i never thought this game was underrated hahahaha.

so basically i view women as these alien monsters, who i have a yearning desire and obsession over, who throw cheap sex at everyone but me, who finds sex very very expensive, so i have a combination of deep resentment and deep desire for women. well, young (25 year old, marriage age, fertile) women! I want them so badly, I can’t have them, and they don’t want me.

these are the Big Kahuna of Cognitive Distortions that i need to address.

that and they undervalue something I value so highly, so i imagine them as sinful devils blaspheming my holy morality. like they are literally The Devil. The Enemy of Man. the Adversary. the living embodiment of Sin and Distancing yourself from Truth, Beauty, and Goodness. Women Are EVIL.

when really they are just Complicated PEOPLE, just like you and me hahahahahahaha.

so reddit says read books and watch tv and movies made by women, so you can view women as real people. go read margaret atwood or watch orange is the new black.

yeah but these are all feminists who have to slip in some man hating marxism. so whenever i read a woman doing that…..i dont understand or like women any better, i just dislike them more hahahaha. like you dirty fooking communist traitors.

so the best would be to read like books by a woman i like, like ann coulter hahahahaha.

maybe i should read the new megyn kelly book which she is promoting like crazy and which people are apparently buying like crazy too hahahha.

some feminist on reddit said “men worry that women will laugh at and reject them. women worry that men will raep and K them.”

yeah ok there is a kernel of truth there. but that doesnt mean women should be degenerate slutty n1993rs.

i like this trvmp “thank you” victory tour. he has been very busy since the election and hasnt had a rally in WEEKS, when he used to have a rally every day and give huge rousing speeches every day. it was weird to see him out of the spotlight. basically what he’s been doing is “hiding out” in trvmp tower talking to people and making big decisions of who he wants on his team. whcih is great, but i want him to come out in front of the cameras and 100000000 cheering people and call the media a bunch of disgusting animals and build the wall and drain the swamp and MAGA and make good deals. hopefully he does Rallies when he is prez.

so yeah if you worry men will r and kill you, dont put yourself in situations where you are basically putting yourself out there on a platter for those men, basically saying R me and K me!!!!!!!!!!

doesnt mean any woman DESERVES to be R’d and K’d, it’s just DONT BE STUPID. dont be the kid who jumps into harambe’s paddock. dont put your head in a lions mouth. dont point a loaded gun at your face. dont tease men when you don’t know that man, you dont know that he’s not a dangerous man.

you come SO CLOSE to really knowing a woman as A Human Being, and then she does a total 180 and throws you out of her life in a way that you cant even image doing to another human being.

not all women Would Do That, not even most women Would Do That.

if you’re not sure the best way to dump someone, just pay a Social Worker $50 to do it for you. don’t go out to lunch or dinner for a while. use secs to coerce your FWB’s into paying for your Birth Control, or to just give you the $50 for the shrink. suck off your Boss for $50. cuddle with some omega orbiter for a $50 fee. you know how EASY it is for you to get $50????!!?!?!?!?!

just hold off buying stupid clothes and shoes and purses for a week. small price to pay for saving somebody Thousands of Hours of Suffering.

you and i should probably listen to this song 3 times every day. quite possibly the single most POWERFUL song ever written.

music by dougie maclean who is not the composer of the film score, who is trevor jones, who took the dougie maclean song and integrated it into the score.

heh i think uncle bern should get a wife but i have bought his book as a way of supporting him. i wish i could have bought it from him directly. he is a good, principled man who i have admired for years. apparently he tells some personal anecdotes about his relships with women in this one, so thats worth the price of admission for me.

it was either that or donate to his paypal or patreon. which i still might do.

https://disenchantedscholar.wordpress [dot] com/2016/03/01/the-real-millennial-woes-student-debt-homeless-priced-out-of-parenthood-and-no-pension/

(doesnt have anything to do with the guy MW, a good article and blog nonetheless)

heh. so i took the plunge and joined patreon so i can pledge 1.67$ to millennial woes per month ($20 per year hehe)

and $1 to uncle bern per month. in the past i would have given him moar. i will give him more if he becomes a huhwhyte nationalist or has children hahahahaha. but he does deserve to quit his damn soul crushing school job and become a Content Creator Fulltime.

2 years ago i emailed him and asked him if i could donate to him. he said no thank you i really dont want to do that. i said hey im happy to donate but you do what you want. well hes changed his mind in the past 2 years and i can’t blame him. he produces great stuff and deserves to quit his damn stupid job. and we SHOULD pay him for sacrificing his personal time to make great videos and podcasts. its not a donation, its paying for a valuable service hehehehe. he’s given me hours of education and enjoyment so why SHOULDNT i give him some money. he apparently has begun to understand that concept.  maybe when he quits his job he will reveal that he knows all about the JQ.

i also see it as whites helping whites hahahahah. i wouldnt donate to a nonwhite.

anyway that disgruntled scholar or whatever i linked above points out a very important point that was interestingly enough quoted from a jooish guardian article: that 27 year old millennials in 2016 are bitter and butthurt because they think about their boomer parents when THEY were 27 and how they already had a HOME and CHILDREN. it is very sad to get old enough that you WANT children, and then realize you CANT AFFORD THEM. and that you cant afford to own a home that isnt in a violent nonwhite crime ghetto. and you might not even be able to afford that. buy a home in midtown oakland or gary hahahaha or newark. the ghettoest ghetto of new orleans.

why would you ever want children? then you cant enjoy life experiences and tinder hookups and travel. why would you want to own a home when you cant rent an apt with 10 roomates when youre 30? and those black ghettos are only violent because of a cycle of poverty adn institutional racism created by WHITE PEOPLE. you SHOULD live there so you can reap what you sow. SEE THE CONSEQUENCES OF YOUR ACTIONS, hahahahahaha.

i thought i was all about that hahaha.

cereal

hehehehe one of the best gifs i have seen in months. if you are in a bad mood watching this could probably still be guaranteed to make you laugh.

cereal-bowl-mouth

hahahahahahahahahahahahaha

cereal-bowl-mouth  cereal-bowl-mouth cereal-bowl-mouth

so classic. i bet that man has had 1,488,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 times more secs and cuddling and making out that i have hahahahahahaha.

ok i should have a smaller version of the moving gif too

cereal cereal cereal

bretty kewl amirite hahahahahahaha

cerealcerealcerealcerealcereal

now is there something actually pornographic about this, or do i think that just because my brain has been thoroughly pornified by jooz?

i wish i could see this, and really the whole world, and WOMEN, through the eyes of an innocent who had never seen the thousands of hours of PORN I have watched. it really warps your damn mind.

i mean i havent watched it seriously in a YEAR and i still feel the effects.

and how many guys have not watched porn in a YEAR. like less than 1% hahahahahaha.

well thats pessimistic. maybe 10% hahaha. NOT ALL MEN WATCH PORN!!!!!!!!

i think he must have some kind of plastic ring in his mouth to be able to hold it open in that weird shape.

oh those stupid WHITE frat boys. these white males are the stupidest jackasses on the planet.

wearing warm Kodiak Heat Socks from walmart, they are warmer than regular socks. but its not super cold out there. it Feels Like 28 degrees, ok thats kinda cold, but not man cold.

well people in fookin williston north dakota probably get their cold weather socks at walmart too hahahaha so i am as getting as good as they are. WALMART.

if you cant get it at walmart, it isnt worth buying hahahahaha.

 

COOL IT WITH THE ANTIHUHWHYTE REMARKS

nov 9

wow just wow, i cant even. you white people. so xenophobic and racist and sexist and misogynist. i need a mental health day to meet with my therapist. white people. so afraid to give up oppressing everyone else. i am sad and scared and ashamed. i cant even. i cant believe thsi is happening in 2016. those racist white boomers. white men. i thought they were dying off.

the leftist tears, shitlib tears, the moaning and groaning and its literally the end of the world. so fookin awesome. i dont want to be a sore winner or anything, BUT….. i mean i still hasnt sunk in for me, this is a huge fookin deal, i am just not used to this, i was totally expecting a hillary win, i still dont believe it.

but yeah to watch them whine about muh racism and all that shit they always whine about, but its worse now, but we won, the whites won baby hahaha.

of course not all trump supporters are deplorable racists like me. plenty go out of their way to be anti-racist. probably MOST are anti-racist.

but those shitlibs will call you a racist anyway.i just want to go to twitter and reddit and msm and all these sluts and catgirls.

well supposedly white women went for TRUMP. WOW. i would not expect any women to go for trump.

systematic hatred, voting for HATRED and DIVISION bla bla bla oh god i am so glad these LOSERS LOST. I dont want these people to think that their pathetic weak beliefs are correct. i want them to feel horrible anxiety and fear and hurt their fee fees for the next 4 years. hell yes i am a sore winner hahahahahaha. because these sick degen shitlibs are a fooking CANCER.

no not the everyday people that i see everyday. oh even the real life guy i know that is VERY butthurt right now and engages nonshitlibs in discussions of white privilege and legacy of slavery and structural, systemic racism, and who shakes his head at whites, total ta nehisi coates, atlantic, joo york slimes worhsipper hahaha. professional moving up in his career, making 50k+ a year. he is just so angry and butthurt and disappointed and will probably be complaining for the next 4 years. he is a white man who i have known for years and is a decent guy……but he will never be turned from his shitlibbery. now i dont think he is a bad guy and needs to GET IN THE OVEN like all these other sick traitorous shitlibs. even though he is a total shitlib hahahaha.

so yeah i dont want any harm to come to him because he is basically my friend, but i do enjoy his butthurt to some degree, like saying, yeah youre WRONG with all your BULLSHIT and us evil white men arent ready to DIE OFF just yet. welcome to the REAL WORLD.

but yeah all these shitlib millennials (and older) in joo york and all that shit, they can all hang for treason, hahaha. deplorable traitors.

i am hoping for r10t5 by ghetto blacks and browns, so law and order can come down swiftly hahahaha.

i dont think david duke won though, which is kinda suprising, i thought LA went strong for trump, i know they did.

well there was like 20 other republican in that race……dont they have a damn primary? i didnt know that. i thought he was the only repub candidate for senate.

literally shaking. giving side eye to all the WHITE PEOPLE i see. i just dont want to go out and see WHITE PEOPLE!!!!!!!! evil racist white people voting for trump, for racism, for homophobia and islamophobia and transphobia and guns and slavery and rape!!! the only thing that  that keeps me going is the thought that this is the LAST RATTLE of White Racism, and we just have to stay strong for 4 more years, then the WHITE MAN is DONE.

anyway. as a white person who never tried to be racist, who once cared about being anti racist, i gradually learned that nothing you could do was ever enough. YOU WERE RACIST WITHOUT EVEN KNOWING IT because you didnt bend the knee enough, didnt check your privilege enough. if you were white, these shitlibs saw you as racist unless you did everything you could to suck their dicks, like the punchable face weak phaggots you see in hillary events. and these White Dudes STILL have Internalized Racism bla bla bla.

i did natzi this coming but now shitlibs are really piling the hate on white women. that white women really sold out all WOMEN in favor of their white privilege. because trump did a lot better than expected with white women.

hehehe people saying “fook comey” and blaming comey for “reopening the email investigation” and that ruined hillarys chances, when there wasnt even any real news there hahahaha. so this was all a plan to make hillary look bad before the election.

i never unfriended anybody over their obnoxious political views hahaha. i mean this one guy would be a prime candidate, but i accept him as being a good decent honorable person at heart. with some horribly misguided views that he probably will never change unless some nonwhites start accusing him of being racist, when he is a huge outspoken antiwhite antiracist. a scathing rebuke by nonwhites antiracists antiwhites would probably strike a nerve with him. bbbbut im not racist! i check my white privilege! im sorry for slavery and its legacy! i understand systemic racism! i know all about housing discrimination! urban crisis! i cant be a racist! ive worked so hard to not be a racist! being a racist is the worst thing ever!

this is the common theme, they think being a racist is the worst thing ever. i would admit that it is not. i would admit openly i am “slightly racist. of course these antiracists dont appreciate that honestly, they think WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT? WHY arent you working to overcome your own racism? WHAT ARE YOU DOING ABOUT IT?

heh i will be amused just to hear these losers WHINE for the next FOUR YEARS hahahaha.

i have no precedent for this. still sinking in. still in shock. i didnt expect this. i expected hillary to win!

in 2012 i voted for mitt but also did not really expect him to win, but of course was slightly disappointed when barry won. but not NEARLY as disappointed as these shitlibs are NAO!!!!!!!!!

in 2008 I WAS the naive stupid immature shitlib voting for barry!!!!! and i was like yayyyy hope and change, this is so neat, progressive!

thankfully i got out of that. quitting drinking helped, i think it helped me Get Woke quicker. quit drinking in 2009, and i estimate 2010 was when i FLIPPED.

CA, NV, and MA have approved legal MJ! still waiting on AZ results. and maine.

uhhhh try not to dox but things got kinda heated in muh state, that is to say things were more exciting in this state than they have been in a few elections!

i wonder if it would be easier to sneak MJ out of Mass than out of colorado hahahahahahahahahahahahaha.

defeated in arizona. still waiting on maine. well that SUCKS for arizona! i would be pissed if i were them.

anyway i would be super annoyed if i were on FACEBOOK and reading this guys posts, and everybody else hehehe. but then i would know exactly how shitlib my friends and acquaintances are. but do i really WANT to know?

if they are ALREADY my friends and acquaintences, well, good for them, they are GRANDFATHERED in hahahahaha.

of course i havent made any NEW friends since……..sheeeeeeit. years. That Woman, and this nice young man I used to work with, were the the only real new friends I have made since………………..i dunno 2010 hahahaha. and that nice young man im sure was a bit of a shitlib. actually he seemed Non political but if asked to make a decision as in an election, would prob vote for hillary.

yep i still read this sub hahahaha havent Tasted The Tears from the more political subs hehe. i mean its REDDIT, you know it is gonna get pretty YUCKY in there.

TASTE THE TEARS!!!!!!!!!!

white women, 53% trump, 43% hillary. i am honestly suprised here. i thought at LEAST 60% hillary for white women, basically all women.

American women voted overwhelmingly for Clinton, except the white ones

http://www.slate.com/blogs/xx_factor/2016/11/09/white_women_sold_out_the_sisterhood_and_the_world_by_voting_for_trump.html

so yeah WOMEN on a WHOLE voted for hillary, but WHITE women leaned towards trump.

THANK FOOKING GOD. Maybe it was WHITE WOMEN who were RESPONSIBLE for this.

basically this makes me feel a lot better about white women!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i mean not that i KNOW any white women who voted trump hahahhaahaa. well except this 47 year old woman i saw at this social event who has like 3 kids.

so yeah my friends and colleagues arent really EVIL…….but the people they want to lead them are evil hehehehehe.

im not even sure if the GOD EMPEROR has even spoke publicly since 3am in the morning. he sounded fairly presidential then but i am sure he was tired at the end of the night hehehe.

its kinda like an omega virgin falling in luv with a grill and putting the pvssy on a pedestal. rather than grabbing it hahahaha. our IMAGE of trump and what we WANT him to be are different that who he really is. there is NO WAY he can live up to our expectations. basically its very likely he will sell out and become a basic bitch establishment neocon like jeb bush or something. no wall, no jobs, no deportations, just a lot of tuff talk and no action.

i fully admit that could happen! and we will be disappointed.

but yeah i think even if/when trump disappoints, there will be other people like him, better than him, more alt right than him. he is just the beginning, but we do need somebody to be the first. when he disappoints, there will be someone else who does not disappoint.

so yeah i am fully prepared that he will sell out or soften in some way.

anyway last night in public there was still some hope that hillary would win. i thought hillary was gonna win. resigned myself hehehe. now these same people will be butthurt as hell today. i am going to a social thing tonight where the people will not be happy hehehehe.

oh well not my problem.

search white people on twitter

white guy saying white people are the worst, ugh,  i cant wait until white people are not a majority any more.

looks like we underestimated the evil white racists and this is a dreadful, disgusting reminder of how much power they still have, and how far we still need to go, in being ultra progressive degenerates. we need more tolerance and more progressiveness hehehehe.

theyve been saying this shit for years, but now they are at a fever pitch with it, AND they LOST. YOU LOSE.  its hard to be a good winner about it!

heh. i do want them to feel despair, i have felt despair for years. i want them to despair so hard they fail at life, lose their jobs, lose their rels, go completely fookin insane. but they already ARE insane! yeah but they are also VALIDATED by having good jobs and somewhat good rels! they need more rejection and defeat in their lives hahahahaha.

its just more funny to think of the white shitlibs i know. its like, is your life really ruined now? is this really SO bad? youre still here, youre still making 50k a year, you still have a gf or wife or kid, you still are respected and can cry with your intelligent educated shitlib friends about how horrible the white man is, go to your hugbox hahaha. this isnt really a a huge loss FOR YOU hehehehe. but you feel sooooo bad on behalf of the muslims and women and nonwhites and latinos and blacks who are being BULLIED by this playground BULLY. chad the white fratboy bully.

i mean you HAVE to be upset, to SIGNAL that youre NOT A RACIST!

only RACISTS are not hugely upset about this!

i wonder how much longer i will be able to hide. i mean i wont be bitching for the next 4 years like These People hehehehe.

unrelated but i hadnt heard this yet, pretty funny

dunno just havent had A Win in 12 years hahahaha and this is a much bigger win hehehe. i mean this is huge election, very important in history…..and i was on the right side of it. the right side of history. i wont tell my children that i was some whining shitlib on suizid watch hehehe. i will say yes i was one of those strong proud free white men hehehe.  then i never got a white wife and never had white children cuz they went for the more alpha trump supporters, of which there are many hahaha.

WHITELASH HAHAHAHAHAHA

i remember in…..2006 or 07 i had this idea of “white backlash” like white people that were so threatened and fragile. remember i was still a stupid shitlib and voted for obongo in 2008, while also getting drunk all the time and thinking that whites oppressed everybody and were afraid of all nonwhites. and then demonized and victim blamed their victims. and did white flight and moved to white suburbs and bitched about how shitty blacks were.

thank GOD that by 2016 I changed my views and got on THE RIGHT SIDE OF HISTORY. hahahaha.

get ready for 8 years of WHITELASH and WHITESPLAINING.

HOPEFULLY the shitlibs whine and complain SO MUCH that eventually white people are like DAMN you people WHINE about WHITE PEOPLE so much,

COOL IT WITH THE ANTIWHITE REMARKS!!!!!!!!!!

thats kinda what set me on the path. nothing was good enough for these people. either you were antiwhite or you were part of the white problem. i was like, come on, white people arent THAT bad! cant i say one good thing about white people? white people ended black slavery. white people stopped hitler and ended your damn shoah. and its still not enough. because whites are the cancer of humanity, whites oppress everyone, whites are the worst. ok then.

that was a real thing for me in turning me. i just got sick of the antiwhite remarks. i dont hate anyone. i sorta even believe in white privilege. just…..stop bashing whites so damn much! jeez! we might be the cancer of the human race but were not that bad! i mean blacks, joos, and arabs are all pretty goddamn bad, we’re every bti as good as them hahahaha.

also becoming jq wise helped.

heh. this might help me get over That Woman.

I mean, its a YUGE thing, its a GREAT thing, a very POSITIVE thing.

getting a JOB would be another positive thing…….but thats been hard as fook. harder and longer than TRUMP going from a “joke” to GOD EMPEROR. DONT FOOK WITH US. THE SLEEPING GOY AWAKENS.

nov 10

dear god. try to use muh computer and turns out the fookin HARD DRIVE IS DEAD. well at least pretty sure it is. never had that happen before. it was making weird beeping noise. well, it turned on initially, then “disk” (not cpu!) was at 99%, so i tried to restart, ended up doing hard power off. then it wouldnt turn back on. gave error message about cant boot or something, check boot order, it basically was not being recognized. and it was beeping. for a few months before it has been clicking, i guess thats not good.

watched a few youtube videos, one showed that you could temporarily fix this by removing the hard drive and battery, then “reseating” them. I carefully found the hard drive (not difficult) and pulled it out (little moar tricky because didnt know if i was doing it right or breaking it). took it out, looked at it like a monkey, looked at the connections, looked at the label, blew on the connectors like a nintendo cartridge, tried to turn it back on, and same old shit. still beeping. cant get to windows. cant get to anything.

ended up making a Quick Decision. i need muh damn laptop!!!!! it is absolutely essential for jobz.

using previous laptop which is 4 times slower but the hard drive still works! its worked for 4 years and the new laptop hard drive only worked for 1 and a half! DISGRACEFUL!!!!!!

warranty was over after 1 year. figures.

who even KNOWS if it IS the hard drive? I am taking a gamble here.

but seriously folks. this old computer. its shameful that i let muh family use something that is SO SLOW. I just spent some money to buy some more ram for it. it still wont be fast but right now its so slow you cant even use it. you gotta turn off the antivirus just to type in blogs hahahaha.

basically can only have 3 tabs open. 2 gigs of ram. disgraceful. i cant LET my FAMILY use this! but they havent really complained about it. oh well. do the right thing. the hard drive is good at least.

anyway. went way over on cals yesterday, but stayed in the limit today. good. did 10 pushups today, good. only 2.2 miles of walking, meh.

went so far over the cals yesterday, absolutely obscene.

losing weight is 90% diet (what you eat) and 10% exercise.

fookin hard drive. i like the computer, just ridiculous the hard drive failed.

what if it didnt fail. what if it was…….the hard drive connector that is built into the motherboard. im assuming. i really dont like computers. i am just above average amerifat at working with them. good enough to make 15 an hour at a computer job…………..that is horribly stressful and involves being thrown into situations where you have to fix and explain shit where you have no idea what youre doing, being slammed by impatient and angry people ALL DAY EVERY DAY.

is that really worth 15 an hour?

had a dream last night that did not have HER, but it was like i was hanging out with people and we were doing a scavenger hunt and we went to a bowling alley i think and the instruction was, find the thing in here that reminds you of That Woman. There is one specific thing here that is a blatant reference to Her, if you really know her.

then i got all mad and was like you dont know her! you dont know her! all you people think she is so great but she’s not that great. i dont want to play this stupid game any more. she broke my heart. shes not some angel. i dont want to hear you saying how great and awesome she is. shes not THAT awesome.

so i was all butthurt. and everyone was like oh. well. sorrrrrrrrry. so you dont like her. youre a weirdo anyway. she prob had a good reason to dump you. she’s still a great awesome person.

then there was a woman with pink hair who may or may not have been her. i guess the idea was, i havent seen her in 2 years, and i wouldnt recognize her, ESPECIALLY if she got pink hair.  the pink hair girl was only in the dream for 2 seconds.

so then today i was slightly sad because i was like, wow, at one time we had a really good thing. and it went SO bad. i never wanted to hurt her, and i never wanted her to become so disappointed in me. she was a good influence in muh life, and her thinking of me as a horrible bad influence was HORRIBLE for my self esteem hahaha. you dont have to like me back, just dont think im a horrible person. i cant handle YOU thinking im a horrible person. that k’s me.

so yeah. when you lose a great person, and they treat you like you are a monster, its a lot harder than if you lost a shitty person, or they didnt treat you like a monster, because now you blame yourself so hard for pushing Your Perfect Soulmate out of your life and you have no one to blame but yourself.

but people ruin their own lives all the time!!!!!!! and they SHOULD blame themselves!

and people DO push people away ALL THE TIME!!! they abuse their longsuffering wife who rightfully leaves them!

so naturally i think i am one of those bad horrible people.

but im really NOT, but its hard to stop those thoughts.

so thats the hardest thing.

well it would prob be harder if we were ACTUALLY “dating” and i pushed her away from THAT. cuz i would have lost even MORE. and then i would have loathed muh self even MORE.

when really yeah i mean i was awkward and cowardly and WEAK.  but i wasnt waiting in the wings with ulterior motives like a nice guy. which is enough to legit rightfully drive a person away. and i hate that she thinks I am like that. but i can see how she could. but i hate that a person i care about things so low of me and she is gonna live with that memory of me forever. when im not really THAT BAD. and she was a great person i wanted to have children with hahahahahaha. a good white wife. and now i gotta find another one. that i have actual real feelings for. and not some thot hahahahaha. thot genocide.

but yeah whatever. i lost a very very very important person to me and they hate me and will remember me wrongly forever. no big deal. you can easily replace all that. hahahaha.

all these idiots think trump is FULL OF HATE. wheres the HATE i ask? how is he HATEFUL?

how is he a BIGOT?

you will hear HATEFUL or BIGOT whenever these losers start talking. they are even bigger losers than I am. at least i am not ashamed of being white hahahaha. but i am ahsamed of being a weak loser who loses more than leftist shitlib antiwhite antiracist swpls hahahaha.

what if this new hard drive does not fix the computer?

i also had to buy an acer windows recovery disc from acer so i can reinstall windows. because microsoft, saw muh activation key, said nope you gotta go to the manufacturer for this one. put in serial number at acer, i am kindly allowed to buy one disc forever for 20 bucks. no downloads hahaha.  there are grammar and spelling mistakes on the acer website. i should have not gotten an acer. fook them. the refurbished dell inspiron…..sorry latitude is a more solid computer.

and oops i ordered the same brand of hard drive that was in there. didnt really shop around for hard drives.  seagate brand. well it had a good rating at newegg.

well well see. if it doesnt work then i just totally wasted 60 bucks and then next thing will prob be drop even MOAR money on a totally new comp. sheeeeeeeeeeit.

well ghoul from TRS has revealed his RL face, kind of a big thing. he is starting a new show on youtube. i was shocked at how handsome and normie chad he looks like. i figured he would be an ugly autist from the way he talks. all awkward autistic. but noooo. he looks like a healthy fashy handsome spencelerian white ubermensch. GREAT.

however it kinda made me like him more.

but also made me envious.

on 30 minutes in the oven, they interviewed ghoul once and hes like, its really not that hard to find a good woman, you can find one in a BAR, you just gotta put yourself out there, talk to people, show initiative, be a somewhat interesting guy.

easy for you to say, handsome chad!

but yeah just from the awkward way he talked, and the fact that hes doing a philosophy phd (i think), i figured he would be a huge virgin. but NOOOOOOO he prob has a good gf.

well good for him i guess. but its a hell of a lot harder for some of us. or, we finally DO, and they leave us because we are horrible and weak and push them away by being too needy hahaha.