july 9

i have downloaded like 10 videos to listen to. this guy seems like a Kindred Spirit and might even make it to the sidebar links. he also has varg v and weev in his liked videos, which means he might be a bad goy hehehehe. a 1433 bad goy with foreveralone nevergf forevervirgin feels. dont quote me on the 1433. but if he’s not, that might help him. i know it helped ME.

he is one of those guys that talks SO SLOW, probably because he is a horribly depressed virgin for many years! but he also drinks and looks at pron, which is bad. but i think he is quitting pron, which is great. he is currently on like day 60 of “nofap” and apparently that may be helping.

does he go to a shrink?

does he take meds?

does he take MJ?

he definitely likes to drink and eat.

look forward to investigating this fellow lost soul.

he DOES have a job and is gainfully employed, but it also sucks everything out of him and does not help his confidence heheheh.

i havent even watched these, so viewer beware, they might suck. but I think he is definitely worth a few links hahahaha

but yeah its funny how you can just TELL. from the way people LOOK and TALK. that this person is a self loathing virgin. or this person is a woman hater. im not sure if he’s a woman hater, just saying that’s something you can TELL. I know a few guys and you can just tell. i mean it is a bitterness against All or Nearly All women just barely under the surface, of viewing women as stupid and bad. I mean I have the same thing too, so I’m not judging them. I know that feel! I’m a woman-hater myself! I’m just aware of the TELLS, and make a conscious effort to HIDE them, so that people don’t even guess I’m a woman-hater. I am good at not letting the mask slip.

but yeah i dont hate or judge woman haters, how could I , I’m one myself!

I would LOVE not to hate women, but god damn, they just give us so many reasons to hate them hahahaha.

Oh well, i guess the best we can go is hate the sin, love the sinner. but why do they have to sin so god damn much, i mean they NEVER LEARN, they NEVER improve, they get worse and worse.

heh heh

like i say, i will have to listen to this guy then report back. i like to think i am very sympathetic hahaha. how will this guy compare to eggy / egg man, a similar lost soul. i mean these are not neets because they are working, but they are clearing Crying Out for help, they are in SUCH a sad state of despair.

just take some damn meds and sm0ke some damn weed already hahaaha.

how much does “george feels” drink? a little or a LOT. like getting drunk almost every day? or just a few drinks after a long horrible day at work. 3 drinks? or 6, 10 drinks.

but yeah a man CARRIES himself a certain way when he hasn’t made out (or more) with a woman in years, and men who DO have semi-regularly physical and emotional connection wtih women, also carry themself a certain way – a more confident, normie way. they seem less weird. this guy george seems totally WEIRD. as do I, hahahha.

well i guess the nofap is good for him. i would say the porn is 6000000000 times worse than the fap hehehe.

also quit the drinking and switch to weed hahahahaha.

get some damn meds.

get a short buzz haircut, that always gives me a slight confidence boost.

lose some weight hehehehe. not that he’s super fat, but being even slightly overweight is gonna be more damaging to him than to a confident normie chad, who has the personality to get away with being slightly overweight.

in one video he shows a programming in C book, is he a programmer for work? well he should thank his lucky stars to have a real skill and to make real bigboy money hahahahaha.

he lives in fookin denver! why isnt he smokng POUNDS of legal weed hahahahaha.

job opening at one of muh target employers, i almost shit muh pants when I saw it, because it actually generated an email alert. maybe newly posted fulltime jobs here do go onto indeed. good. then i will get email alerts. but they NEVERRRRR post openings for this job. I have NEVERRRR seen such a posting in like EIGHT YEARS. i immediately marked it AAAAAAA+++++++ APPLY NOW. its not every day a job shoots to the top of the list blatnatly like this.  so i will take a little extra care and apply for that today. maybe name drop in the cover letter. cuz i sorta knew 2 guys in the department 3 years ago hahahaha. like know them to chit chat with them and know their names, say hi to them and chit chat. good enough. well the one guy is a truly good guy. i would luv it if he were still there. he is a great guy and mancrushworthy. super friendly and nice and great people person hahaha. he is married and has at least one kid but he needs to have at least 3, just a great white man like that. i got along with him real well. but he gets along with everybody well, he’s just good with people like that.

i GET IT that men HAVE to bring a lot more to the table than women have to. it took me a while to understand that and accept it and not get assmad about it. ok. fine. done.

but can’t women bring SOMETHING to the table other than their befouled cvnt that they have disgraced and degraded so much?

like i have said before, can’t they even make a LITTLE EFFORT? even just 1% instead of 0% would mean a lot, symbolically at least. to be the LEAST BIT willing.

also i think guys like george mcfeels and eggman who post their pathetic white faces on youtube, it takes some balls to do that and I think they are more willing to Improve themselves than the neets on r9k, where its 100% self pity which i why I took r9k off the sidebar.

yeah well NOT ALL WOMEN ARE LIKE THAT hahahaha. SOME women WERE willing and indeed DID give me 1% of effort and kindness when they dumped me! so there! Refuted! Rebutted!

I just wanted to be DUMPED BETTER. I was begging to be dumped better. I said I accept that you’re dumping me. fine. just pleeeeeeease do it BETTER.  i didnt say don’t dump me. well….i said i would be open to not being dumped too hahahahahahahahahahahahaha but i will respect (stupid word, you can ACCEPT without RESPECTING) your decision, just do it a little better. you can do better than that. can’t you? it’s not just a woman thing, OTHER WOMEN have done better than that to ME.

also george feels should just use alcohol to bang some disgusting slut. i think he talks to women and meets women more often than I do. also he still drinks. so find some drunk whore and bang her already. if i still drank i would probably try that.

thing was, i couldnt even talk to women WHEN DRUNK. I went straight from too nervous and weird, to being sloppy falling down drunk and couldnt talk to ANYBODY. and that is not gonna help you with women unless THEY are falling down drunk.

anyway after 3 or 4 or 5 drinks, yeah i would be generally a bit loosened up but still not loosened up around Women. so then of course have another. and other. until you are 10+ drinks and then sloppy and embarrassing. thats the problem with alcohol hahahahahaha. that you get TOO sloppy to talk to women. not that you are ruining your life with being a damn disgraceful drunk hahahaha.

do i have more of a sense of humor than george mcfeels?

am i funnier than him?

more likeable?

why am I trying to BEAT him? well, i dont, i just want to prove to myself that i am not as hopeless as him hehahaha. because i am absolutely in that same ballpark, that i CAN truly Empathize with him. put myself in his place, cuz i’ve been there.

i mean he’s survived at Work for 2 years without having a nervous breakdown and quitting….right? and what if i’m wrong?

but yeah i would totally casually bang sluts with no rel. i dont WANT a rel with any women but HER. I WILL bang women with no committment, no luv. i will treat them in the casual way they are offering their pvssy up to be pounded by the most convenient dick. who cares. as long as i am not with her, nothing matters hahaha. well women at least. just pound the pvssy like a nihilist hedonist degenerate. thats fine and i am willing to do that if it helps me get more distance between me and HER, and gives me more confidence with women, and makes me less needy for women, or at least needy for HER.

so, if alcohol isnt gonna help you with women, i would say at least TRY using MJ as a tool to get sluts and skanks and white trash mudshark whores to give you casual secs. be like ayyy bae u wanna get h1gh ayyyyyy lets blaze it babay and then supply them with the expensive dank buds you have procured hahaha and then maybe they will throw themselves at you after they get st0ned hehehehe. of course good luck not acting WEIRD. so I would recommend that YOU not smoke so much at that time, and also take some benzos to chill you out. then just sit back like an ignra and say wahatever i dont care and give them an i dont care mentality. then you might be able to get dirty secs from dirty sluts who give it up to ANYBODY except for omega weirdo virgins who dont know how to talk 2 gurls hahaha.

so who are MEN supposed to go to for emotional support when THEY feel weak? you cant ask your wife or gf to do that, women are programmed naturally to LEAVE men who are emotionally needy like that. you have to support THEM.  give give give give give but god forbid you ever need someone to give to YOU.

really the best person a MAN can go to if he needs support like that, is his friends or family. really aint no shame for a 35 year old man to run crying to his mother, if he has that privilege.

or i heard a story about a 34 year old man with 2 young children, who himself had a cancerous lump in the testicle or something and he was understandably scared as shit, very emotional, crying, but he had to be careful not to cry in front of his wife and children, because god forbid the big strong man (he is a very big guy) looks weak in front of his wife and kids because he just found out he has CANCER. JESUS CHRIST.

i would be running crying like a baby to my mother and my bitch wife could LEAVE me if she wanted. leave you in the LURCH when you just got diagnosed with CANCER. JUST LIKE A WOMAN hahahahaha. ALL WOMEN ARE LIKE THAT. you can’t get assmad at it. NATURE programmed them that way. GOD programmed them that way. for a reason. for the reason that they are the Creators of New Life. so they can get away with being mercenaries for Strong Men, and leaving weak men with Cancer in the LURCH.

anyway. george mcfeels needs to cut his hair short and trim his beard short. the only way you can rock a long beard or long hair is if you have very strong confidence. if you don’t, it will just make you feel like more of a weirdo. believe me.

also delete any porn vidyas, AND porn pcitures, AND porn bookmarks. get rid of EVERYTHING on your computer and phone and whatever thats porn related whatsoever.

i am SO glad I did that. for a long time i had vowed against saving any files to the computer. that was one step forward, but i still saved bookmarks.

then one day i said fook this filth and deleted all the bookmarks. searched mercilessly for any and all bookmarks and baleeted them. this is what george mcfeels must do.

should he quit drinking? probably. but maybe it does give him some solace. shit sometimes I want to start drinking again! but then I think I’d much rather smoke weed hahahahaha. and also i can’t just drink alcohol. I just think about the shame of getting a damn DUI, shame for myself and family, then the thousands of dollars of fees, the god damn piss tests every week, i just never want to go through that again. the punishment was an effective deterrent in other words.

plus the 2 DUI club is alot different than the 1 DUI club. 3rd DUI is a felony and that is some bad shit. but there is a statute of limitations that is somewhat less than 10 years hehehehe.  doesnt mean the DUI’s go off your RECORD, just that you could get a 3rd DUI and have it not be a felony if its 10 years after the first hehehe.

if I were not an asshole who frequently drank and drove, and just sat and drank at home, well maybe I WOULD still be drinking. If I never got a DUI. but I was always driving after drinking. shit yeah that was stupid and downright EVIL.  that you think youre so much BETTER than everyone, that YOU can get away with this.  I really SHOULD have gotten busted a LOT earlier!

like oh ive driven with a Buzz hundreds of times, I’m pretty GOOD at it!


so yeah I am not worried about drinking again. I would do just about any drug rather than drink alcohol again. I would do HERON before alcohol hahahaha.

but mainly i just wanna smoke weed, but i have trouble getting it because i am an autistic lonely loner, also there’s nothing more shameful than smoking weed when you dont have a JOB hahahahaha.

i just wanna get a job fast so I can start smoking weed again SOON hahaha.

well i would also need to find a Source hehehe.

but i could and should ax this guy I see every week.


easier said than done. credit for that goes to some guy on a recent fatherland episode. I dont think it was jim or bradan, but either otto, salty seaman, or heidrich.

all good guys. even jim hahahahahahaha but jim is autistic as FOOK, i am amazed he is not a 37 year old VIRGIN hehehehe. but if he can get married and have a kid, so can ANYONE. not that he’s a bad guy and deserves a shitty wife. he’s a good guy and deserves a good wife. he’s just SO autistic and women have a REALLY hard time with the tism unfortunately. social awkwardness in general. hehehe maybe his basedwife is really UGLY hehehehehe. no i dont KNOW that.

i listened to foreveralonefeels for about 90 minutes. yeah he sounds tired and despairing but he has more of a sense of humor than i expected and was more likeable than i expected! he was not as bad as i expected! he has worked the same job for 10 years. i wanted him to talk more about that. he is 30 almost 31 now and i guess worked at the public library from age 20 onwards. which is great. i luv the library and would LUV to get a job at the liberry. I have ALERTS to email me the second there is a liberry job available because it is my kind of place.

but there is like 1 part time shelver job that opens per year in the whole state, paying 8.50 an hour for 20 hours a week hahaahaha.

shit all the liberrian jobs are part time and you need a MASTERZ degree for that. believe me i thought that might be a good masterz for me to get. but there are no liberrian jobs out there. i mean it is a SHITTY job market. SO shitty. not worth the 50 grand of getting the masterz degree. unless you are in the top 1% of your class. are you prepared to do that? be in the top 1-5%???? you better be, or you just wasted 50 grand at LEAST.

so….he doesnt give the details I think are really important. what job was he hired into? how many hours per week? job title? how much ya make? did you get ANY PROMOTIONS in TEN YEARS? you SHOULD get TWO promotions in that time at least.

so you live with your fam because you feel a sense of responsibility towards them and appreciate all they did raising you. i understand that completely. BUT do you really make enough MONEY to move out? how much money do you make now?

and I would understand if he doesnt want to say.

i guess his father is looking for a job and has been out of work a while and he goes on interviews and says the interviews go well…..and then he never hears back hehehe. kinda sounds like me. except my interviews dont go “REALLY WELL”, they just go ok. but you feel damn, they dont want to hire an OLD person who has been out of work for a LONG time. you have a STENCH about you.

i would have liked george to take more of that angle.

but he’s a pretty good guy, i would hang out with him, i was thinking about doing a Skype Talk with him ahahahahah.

took some nyquil.

anyway me and him would be good in the beta uprising. but this isnt betas. betas are normie nonvirgins with bitch wives. real neet virgins are OMEGAS hahaha.

anyway i hope he’s not a leftist atheist.

he also likes to go for walks and sometimes he tries to lose weight by going for a RUN. oh wow. good for him.

anyway i would luv to work at a liberry but its next to impossible to find a 14 dollar an hour fulltime job at a library!!! believe me, any job like that would be classified AAAAAAAA+++++++++++ and I would take an hour to make the best application ever.  how did HE get a job like that? which makes me wonder, maybe its just a mickey mouse littleboy part time 8 DAH job that he has. and thats the real reason he lives with his parents hahahahaha. cuz he makes less than 10k a year. thats not a real job!

but i dont judge that, I’ve been in similar positions. my previous job was something similar. and god how i miss it. no nervousness, no stress. but i could only get 25 hours a week and i was making like 9.75 an hour. that’s no job!!! but i loved it. I said DAMN I wish I could work at this 40 hours a week and make just a LITTLE more. like 11 or 12 bucks an hour. I would work here the REST OF MUH LIFE.

so yeah how many hours does he get, what does he make, has he ever been promoted, does he have supervisory POWER over anyone? could you imagine HIM being someone’s supervisor? itd be like ME being someones supervisor!!!!

but yeah i generally liked him and will continue listening. dont know how despairing he is, if he is taking any meds, etc.

also i have been out on “Dates” I guess with gurls. where we hung out, went to dinner, etc. but nothing like that since 2005 hahaha.

well i did hang out with one on one and go to lunch and dinner a lot of times with That Person. but they werent dates because we were not FOOKING hehehe.

its horrible how people can get so out of whack that to me, hugging or cuddling or kissing a woman is SUCH A BIG DEAL, and for some women, fooking (aka the life creation process) is NOT A BIG DEAL AT ALL.

and you feel sick when the person where you hugging them would be SUCH A BIG DEAL, that same person opens their life creator to randoms and its NO BIG DEAL AT ALL.

well I don’t have proof she is being a slut like that.

also she never really DUMPED a person before!!! I was the first major dumping of her whole life!!! she was too scared to deal with it, i can’t handle this, i can’t deal with this, so naturally you shut down, run away, and avoid dealing with it. you give up.

IVE DONE THIS BEFORE, just gave up on projects and shit. but never to a person who was calling out to me.

july 10

yeah I HAVE Just Freaked Out and Just Given Up. Ran Away. It’s EXACTLY what I did to my JOB. it’s the SAME thing she did to ME.

but not REALLY. because one thing was a JOB, the other was a PERSON. PEOPLE are (in theory, and in my opinion) more important than JOBS.

also when I quit the job I made SOME attempt to TALK to them. I didnt just walk out. I had 2 meetings with managers and tried to leave in as dignified and smooth a manner as possible. not just walking out and never coming back. NO CALL NO SHOW. she NO CALL NO SHOWED on me. on a PERSON. and

PEOPLE are more important than JOBS. in theory. cuz jobs dont have hearts that you can break.

on linkedin some comment said the real unemployment rate is not 5%, its closer to 40%, but the BLS is lying with statistics, and the journalists lying. all the employment is low paying seasonal temp part time jobs.

if you look at jobs that pay the average of 28k a year, uhhh of COURSHE the average is gonna be 50% unemployment. cuz in bell curves half of all people are below the average! average is a HIGH BAR to set!!!!!

you can’t have 95% of people get to the average! then you need to move the goalposts hahahaa. set a higher average.

really MY goal is just to be average. no more, more less. make the average american income of 28k a year.  14 dollars an hour.

no more, no less.

‘man cannot remake himself without suffering, for he is both the marble and the sculptor’

great quote from a comment on the most recent Forever Alone Feels vidya:

also some thoughts that LIFTING is about a MILLION times more effective than nofapping. will get you some easy pussy FAST. WHY ARE YOU NOT LIFTING. DO U EVEN LIFT BRO????

90 days to make something a habit. so LIFT for 90 DAYS and then you will be better. i guarantee it hehehehe.

I left him a brief comment on this vidya hahahaha. not the greatest comment. i dont think it will reach him. i agreed with a guy who recommended Fascism. Now FAF will probably be turned against Fascism, when it could help save him.

and now i cant edit it to add the shit about noporn.

oh well. i will probably give him a small dnation if i continue listening to him.

so yeah, noporn and fascism has been GREAT for me. well not great enough to get me a 14 DAH FT job or a tradwife, but i cant imagine my life without them, and i am very grateful for them.

illuminati? bilderberg group? bohemian grove? masons? come on! ITS DA J00Z, STUPID!!!!! da jooz makes SO MUCH MORE SENSE than the damn illuminati, when it comes to a Secret Society of Superpowerful Elites who Control The World.  Follow the Money to Find a bunch of superrich jooz. very simple. its not a damn CONSPIRACY. well not any deeper than one group trying to protect itself.

what kind of person lets their stupid yapping small dog outside at 4 in the morning on a sunday to bark and bark and bark so it can be heard in a 5 house radius, from 4 to 440 am? 5 minutes is one thing. FORTY minutes is another.

heh. people would PAY to make monster save more than 5 searches. so why wouldnt monster do this? PEOPLE ARE TRYING TO GIVE YOU THEIR MONEY BUT YOU WONT TAKE IT!!1!11!!

this type of nonsense infuriates me about companies. its just too expensive in the short term to do a project that would be ENORMOUSLY useful to your customers.

and in general its very difficult to work with your saved searches. you add them, then they dissapear, then they come back. you dont know if theyre there, or if they are working, and all you want is a damn email when company x posts a new job, which they post like 1 new job every 2 months at most. so you want to make sure yu dont MISS it. cause the company/org itself doesnt let you sign up for job alerts. because that would be too useful of a recruiting tool for them to find super motivated candidates hahahaha. SERIOUSLY!!!!!!

took 2.8 mile walk in bright midday sun on sunday to try to get max sun on pasty arms hehe.

i wonder if forever alone feels george is j00ish, cuz jooz are neurotic and emotional…..but they are also more successful and not usually virgins. he would have banged a jooish slut in college or joo camp or the JCC cuz joos are very clannish like that, its like one big incestuous family where you can bang your slutty 5th cousin removed hehehehe.

you can essentially arrange marriages and arrange jobs thru the wider jooish social network of the JCC. huhwhytes don’t have that, but they SHOULD. huhwhytes are more atomized and bowling alone, like FAF George. see “atomised” by houellebecq hahaha.

since george still drinks, I think he should ask one of these milfs out for DRINKS. then get them drunk and bang them. and of COURSH it will be disappointing. but at least get it over with. dont be like me. where you don’t have enough EXPERIENCE to pull actually DECENT women.

its a LOT easier to get rejected by worthless sluts, than to get rejected by DECENT women.

its the worst to get HARSHLY rejected by a decent woman.

of course, decent woman are more likely to try to be nice when they reject you…..but not all the time hahaha.

anyway i know george has never experienced that! and if he does, he will be sadder than he’s ever been!!

perhaps you should use Benzos as an Enhancer to other drugs. like I hear if you mix benzos and benedryl, you practically fall into a coma hahahahaha. no i am not encouraging this hahahaha. but benzos basically MULTIPLY whatever effect something else has. also benzos can make other things fatal. weird.

but yeah to a foreveralone, a mere HUG from a woman means SO much. when this means literally NOTHING to the normie women. they hug 6 gorillion people a day just to say hello or goodbye. it couldn’t mean LESS. so it’s two VERY, VERY, VERY different ways of experiencing the world. and secs is even worse, because women bring that same sense of casual, shallow meaninglessness to secs that they do to hugging.




that is so good. yes that will be a post title very soon.

a quote from alexis carrel, french scientist i have never heard of. I HOPE he is not a J. well, that one quote at least is pretty huhwhyte.

heh. i am glad i am not on facebook, to see white people, white women, probably even HER, doing stupid facebook signalling about how evil and oppressive white cops are and how they deserve to be shot by black animals hahahaha. apparently thats what white people are doing “omg i can even things are really heated right now, i am scared about the way things are doing, we need to stop being so DIVISIVE and just LOVE NOT HATE and step back and LISTEN to Black Voices about Black Lives and what they are TRYING to TEACH us!!!!!”

cuz she was always anti-cop. but I wonder what she is saying about this stuff. WHOSE SIDE WILL SHE TAKE? I will never know. If I knew she were taking the antiwhite side, I would have an easier time writing her off.

but ideally, I would have been a Strong Man For Her, and Guided her down the Pro-White path, as all strong pro-white men do.

But yeah I am willing to Meet Up with Other Local White Racists. the horse is out of the barn. i have no use for spineless white cowards. who wont take their own side when the shit hits the fan. if anything SHOULD wake a person, its this police violence / police killing in dallas. Dallas should wake up a ton of white people, but it’s NOT, they’re just DOUBLING DOWN on laying down and letting themselves be killed. absolutely disgusting. i mean this is race treason. don’t be a fooking race traitor. god damn. i am sure if i were on facebook i would be TRIGGERED TO THE MOON with white Shitlibs falling all over themselves apologizing and flagellating. you’re THIRTY years old, how can you still be a stupid shitlib? Haven’t you Worked in the Real World long enough after college? but for some, nothing will EVER red pill them. also these people have probably been Professionally Successful and Middle Class ever since leaving college, so they never HAVE to be redpilled or blackpilled.

and i think i had a chance at redpilling her, that she might have been open to Race Reality, but like all women, she needs a smart strong man to guide her. and maybe some other lucky white racist man will make her his aryan waifu and have white babies with her.

but who knows. maybe she became a full black lives matter anticop antiwhite race traitor mudshark. i kinda hope she DOES, as punishment for being so cold and callous to me.

i mean i basically TRUSTED her to NOT leave me in the lurch. trusted her to give it to me straight and not leave me hanging.

its okay to be an antiracist antiwhite leftist when you are 18-21 but after 25, it is absolutely inexcuseable. a leftist after age 25, i mean a white leftist, is absolutely pathetic.

nonwhites, fine, I can totally see why they would be leftists. because the left IS antiwhite.

and white cops shooting black thugs is making whites say IM SO SORRY FOR BEING WHITE. we whites are so problematic. we must mix this original sin out of us. police DESERVED what they got in dallas. they brough it on themselves, and they are also Symbolic of Systemic Racism and how Whites Oppress Blacks with White PRivilege.

so whites double down on this shit. day of the rope for these traitors. if you’re over 25 you have no excuse.

this thread overwhelmingly suggests jcpenney over “crappy” places like mens wearhouse or jos a bank if you are wanting to get a decent suit for the Frugal Man. JCPENNEY. I am getting closer and closer.

i mean the next woman i “date” will probably be some slut who i take out for drinks to get drunk and then she fooks on the first or second date and then I do that, am disappointed and disgusted, and certainly not the type of woman i’d want for the mother of muh children! but i guess i should get as many bangs out of her as possible and maybe even try to dump the woman, so i can get experience dumping a woman hahahaha.

course many sluts will have drunken secs with you once or twice, then just avoid you altogether.

avoiding is a typically womanly way of not dealing with shit. tons of women everywhere throw men away by just avoiding them cold turkey. she is certainly not the first or the last. tons of women do this. women are TERRIBLE at actually dealing with anything.

i expected this type of childish behavior from some average trashy slut……NOT HER.

i mean she was a WOMAN who i ACTUALLY GOT ALONG WITH, and DIDNT HATE hehehehehe.

ME. the worlds biggest woman-hater, actually getting along with a WOMAN, like a human being, really WELL. can you believe it? THATS why this was so SPECIAL. THATS why you cant throw it away like trash. that, and because people and relships ARENT TRASH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! DONT TREAT THEM LIKE TRASH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! when you do it can cause a LOT OF PAIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

psychic pain hahahaha. psychological damage hahahaha.

same thing with secs. yeah it can be very pleasureable (supposedly) but it also has the potential to cause a LOT OF PAIN, and also has the potential to CREATE NEW LIFE, so



this is how you have to talk to these bitches hahahaha. just totally mansplain in no uncertain terms. they NEED a man to mansplain very simple things.

yeah getting a proper suit would DEFINITELY be a good confidence booster, even moreso than getting a short haircut.

i may never have children of my own because i may never find a woman i luv who is willing to have muh babies, and yes that is sad. i mean i dont want to have babies with any white slut. well, ok i will maybe do that when I am 70 hahahaha. and i will leave a ton of videos and stuff for the children. vidyas for muh heirs haha.

but say some ugly slut falls in luv with me (hasnt happened yet, hahaha), should I just SETTLE and say this is the best im gonna get, thsi woman is WILLING to have my children, so i should do it?????

i dont WANT to have children with a woman I don’t luv the way I luved HER.

just like I dont WANT to get a masterz degree hahahahaha.

dont WANT to get a job in a call center.

I can try to support white children in other ways. like the creepy bachelor uncle who never had kids of his own haha.

besides, its very likely i’ll never make enough MONEY to take care of CHILDREN, let alone MYSELF!

so yeah feels bad man hahahaha.  no man wants to feel like half a man like that!

but yeah its a bad feel when the woman you wanted to be the mother of your children would rather suck ingra dicks than show you a shred of mercy! yeah this will take much closer to 2 years than 1 year to get over.

its already been 1 year and I can say things are WAY better! this shit youre seeing right now, THATS “WAY” better!

me whining about her in every poast and hating all women! that is actually honestly way better than it was. it really is. cuz now i am much better about applying for jobs, going to interviews, and yeah I really DO think about her a little less.

but yeah i am very cynical and hateful and nihilistic too. except for muh race and muh 14 sacred words. but i dont particularly luv white women either, other than you need them for white tradfams and white babies. but i still think they are jooed as fook, and kinda inferior. i am assmad at them. but i appeciate that they are the only ones who can make white babies, so we kinda NEED them.

women give up and run away from shit ALL THE TIME. you think I am the only person who has been dumped this way? every guy has been dumped this way, probably several times, and every woman has DONE this to a guy, probably several times.

this is how BAD women are at COMMUNICATION. they throw people away rather than communicate with them. yet they are TEXTING ALL DAY with their face in their phones. they communicate ALL DAY EXCEPT when it REALLY MATTERS, then they clam up and run away like bitches.

and my case is WORSE because we were NOT just Fooking for a few weeks after meeting on a Dating/Fooking Website. we were real friends who got along with each other very well because we had a lot in common. so yeah that makes it morally worse, and it makes the PAIN worse.

just saying hahahaha.

you shouldnt fook guys you just met. but if you offer it, dont be surprised when guys take you up on it, and dont be surprised when guys dont consider you dating material. yet STILL women will dump the guys! talk about flipping the script! and the guys are so desperate that they will consdier sluts as dating material! and then get dumped quickly after the sluts quickly offer secs!



july 7

had interview today, 5 people grilling me, 1 hour and 20 minute interview, 40k job tho damn.

then went on linked in and switched my settings to anonymous mode so i could look at people from my old job. started feeling bad. like damn they can handle taking confusing angry phone calls all day, how come i cant? they found new jobs, the are able to think fast and act quick. oh 3 people from my company went over to this other company. I WONDER if thats where SHE went too. oh i wonder if shes fooking one of those guys then. or maybe she already fooked him and now they hate each other but still work together.

how come just the thought of answering those calls and dealing with those weird problems strikes fear into my heart? i wish i could be AS GOOD as her in the stupid competition of life. compete with her on HER terms and PROVE that I am at LEAST as good as her, can do the same kind of ridiculous work, make the same decent money.

and now she goes on and makes new friends and knows the people we worked with, longer than I knew her….which was a pretty long time. and I am stuck in the past. and she has moved past me, and I am just a faded memory in her past, that she has mostly forgotten.

next on the listening:

diocletian: gesundrian

proclamation: nether tombs of abbadon (terrible reviews, as their well of ideas has run dry and they are just going thru the blasphemous motions. but I sorta think the production sounds best on this one. and I figure each album will sound exactly the same, so production is VERY important here.)

i should be talking about this interview hehehe.

i figure, they interview 5 people, that means you START OFF at a 20% chance of getting the job. then depending on how you do, you go up or down. probably not more than 10% either way.

anyway it was me, and 5 managers, in a room for 1 hour and 20 minutes. 5 people making 25 bucks an hour to spend 90 minutes of Paid Time with ME hahahahaha.

ok did 5 mile walk, listened to those things. i just dont have great headphones. i have 10 dollar headphones when i should invest in some good 50 dollar headphones, but i just cant right now till i establish an income stream other than 2 dollars a week on mturk hahaha. i could only stand about 10 to 14 minutes of the proclamation. but its nice to come back to that noise for 14 minutes a day or so.

the diocletian sounded sorta like angel corpse but with some slow parts. great sound, again hurt by my headphones. great drum and guitar sound, great fast blasts, no triggers like some f4ggy death metal band hahaha.

i just hate sounding incompetent with a caller who wants me to fix a problem, because I AM incompetent, and i DONT know what I’m doing. and i hate that SHE was better at that in the long run than me.

and if you can stay good at that in the long run, you can actually advance in the stupid tech support field. become a tier 2, then a tier 3, then a manager, get jobs at increasingly better companies. you just gotta tough it out. and I couldn’t do it, and she COULD. AND she doesn’t CARE about ME, when I KNOW she once did. she was tough enough to do the job, and to KEEP doing the job a year later, but she wasnt courageous enough to SHOW CARE about ME. fooooooook.

i mean other women have been tougher and more competent than me. better at their jobs. doing tough jobs. cool under pressure. going gets tough, tough get going. other women have Bested me at that competition, but I didn’t care nearly AS much because they showed a lot more courtesy to me when they dumped me. they said sorry that I have to do this. and then went on to become hugely successful in their careers. just like THAT PERSON is going to be. I came CLOSE to looking her up on linkedin today. I thought she might work at this company several people from our company went to.

theres a difference between “taking the black pill” ie looking a unpleasant things, because you might learn a valuable lesson…….vs TORTURING yourself by COMPARING yourself to others unfavorably on linkedin. looking at all those fookin WINNERS on linkedin. or f4gbook or that matter. oh im so successful at muh career. i am not on the verge of a nervous breakdown and im getting MARRIED to a person I LUV and want to make babies with. we just had a baby. were having our second baby. chad just got promoted to Team Lead this year, which meant more money for our growing family. Stacy finished her masters degree in Talent Acquisition which resulted in a big pay raise for her too.

that fooking bullshit successful middle class normie STRIVERS talk about in their christmas card letters!!!!

so yeah. SOME blackpilling is ok, but I don’t think this comparing yourself is really helpful, nor is it legit blackpilling. its more digging yourself into a rut and putting yourself into a bad mood. better to just STOP, and just apply for another job, or go for a 5 mile walk and listen to EVIL raw black metal like blasphemy or proclamation hahahaha.

black lives matter hehehe how about MY life matters. I wanted MY life to matter to HER. not even in a tradwife luv sort of way, but just in GENERAL.  even before i fell in luv her life matter to me, and my life mattered to her. i just wished my life could have mattered to her at the END. rather than being murdered like an aborted child hahahaha.

now i know what that aborted child feels like with the silent scream, as it screams pleeeease mommy dont murder me, and then they get murdered anyway. and then you get to stay alive enough to be able to see that, and think about it for years hahahaha. and you wonder how could your own mother murder you hehehe.

so in a while its WORSE than being aborted! because you are still ALIVE TO SUFFER!!

at least the aborted baby has the privilege of not being able to suffer any more. they are put out of their misery!

july 8

foreveralone feels, an actual 30 year old wizard virgin with a youtube channel whoooooaaaaa

i mean he LOOKS like one! but he also doesnt look TOO bad, or irredemable. its sad.

instantly subscribed.

The “why are women fooked” question is actually really easy: because they don’t have to be good to pass on their genes. They just have to take a dick and keep the baby alive. The men have to slave, fight and die over who gets to keep them.

great quote from great trs thread on how bad women are hahaha

but yeah i might as well be a 30 year old virgin. i had secs 2 times with a gurl when i was 21………AND THEN NEVER EVER AGAIN hahahaha and now I am 30+.

its a really unique situation. there’s no manual for this. the wizards dont understand, the normie chads sure dont understand. i guess people can still advise you: be a stronger, better, man with purpose. then you can keep a woman from dumping you. easier said than done tho hahaha.

huge anti police shooting in dallas, its HAPPENING, 4-5 officers dead, wow, i mean i can honestly say stuff was NOT liek this when I was young. shit is objectively getting BAD.

i meditated on my desire to bang gurls up the ass and I figured it had to do with a desire to PUNISH them and cause them some pain. for not wanting anything to do with me, and also for Playing Around with the LIfe Creation Process so casually.

I was always kinda afraid of the Vag and Secs because I always understood THATS HOW BABIES ARE MADE. this is NOT a casual, fun process. if you want to have PURELY recreational secs, then do it up the ass like mexican sluts or f4gs. that’s the fookhole for people who REALLY dont want to have babies. and i dont want to have babies. babies are a BIG DEAL and Im not ready for that. so i dont want to treat the pvssy like some kind of casual funland.

and women are stupid and inferior for treating their OWN pvssies like that. theyre the ones who GET pregnant!!!! how can they NOT know this and need a man to mansplain it to them? because thats how women ARE. and I was like holy shit that sucks SO MUCH. How can I POSSIBLY respect or even LIKE women. they are DISGUSTING.

so hence the desire to bang them in the ass. to somewhat punish them, and also to show that I wanted to remove ALL chance of conception. well why not just use birth control.

because i’ve ALWAYS believe that BC is flawed. that its putting up an unnatural roadblock to something natural. and you just dont need to do that with the ass. because the ass is not MADE FOR REPRODUCTION. its made for expelling shit.

so yeah still its degenerate to want to put muh dick in an EXIT hole! I fully own and admit that. own muh degeneracy.

well its not like Im going out banging sluts in the ass, or watching porno of it! although I used to. but i havent looked at porno in….242 days.

the shit with the woman WENT DOWN 360 days ago. almost a year.

sent her the last email 326 days ago.

last got a haircut 101 days ago. and I am fully planning on getting a nice very short haircut TODAY.

later. got nice short level 1 haircut! very nice. do this more like every 2 months, not every 3 months. it was looking bad on the sides, like an unemployable loser neet wizard virgin. dont do this. i am scottish with spending money, but in this case, its WORTH THE MONEY. just spend the money and get a haircut every 2 months. they barber didnt even ask about muh JOB hahaha.

also now i look more masculine, like a real ross bay powerlifting black metal skinhead. i would also add 1433 to that, althought the ross bay cult is NOT associated with 1433. but they should really consider it! although the black guy in the band blasphemy hahahaha well i will give him a pass.

BUT really raw drunken satanic black metal is degenerate anyway, and degeneracy and 1433 is like OIL AND WATER.

so, switch all that drunken satan imagery with like Nationalistic War imagery. you can still have those kewl black and white drawings! just instead of goatz and sp00py skellys with goathorns, you can have like soldiers and fuhrers and gunz and tradfams and such.

being CONFUSED SUCKS. it kills your confidence and can lead to Chronic Stress.

also you feel like you are getting early onset dementia or alzheimers at age 35. WTF. that is very frustrating.

or was it just because you smoked too much MJ and drank too much alcohol before age 25? because ya sure did. sure screwed the pooch on that one. dicked the dog. fooked fido.

like worshiping satan and evil is stupid, immature, degenerate, and really doesnt make sense. being a 1433 whyte warrior makes TOTAL sense. 14 words make TOTAL sense. so express THAT in your music.

had stupid dream last night where I dreamed I was looking at pictures of HER, on facebook or instagram or whatever. i saw a photo of her from new years eve where she was kissing a black guy. i reacted with disgust and horror and anger, much like you would expect me to hahahaha. i make no apologies for not liking mudsharking, and I am ESPECIALLY offended when the woman I luv would rather fook and kiss blacks than have anything to do with ME. it really stings the pride knowing a black guy is better at getting the woman of your dreams than you are. and that the woman of your dreams would rather be with a black guy than you, ya racially-aware whyte man.

also IRL she did go out with a black guy but I never saw secsy pictures of that thank god. but the fact is, they were making out and FOOKING. she she suck his dick? most certainly. Did he blast jizz on her pretty face? maybe. did he fook her up the ass? maybe. did he fook her doggystyle and blast on her nice white ass? certainly. did he pound that pvssy with her fine white body pressed up against him while they made out and she sighed in Ecstasy? 100000% yes definitely. things I will never experience with her hehehehe.

And I have always like kissing and making out MORE than secs. it seems so pure and fun and innocent and safe and good. and secs seems so dirty and bad and pornographic and dangerous and bad. not because it is, but because the way the women treat it like its NOTHING. treat it with more reverence.

so I always LIKED making out and kissing more. it means a lot to me. I would have had a LOT of fun making out with her. I had a LOT of fun just making out with gurls. then they would get bored, want secs, and dump me when they correctly ascertained that I wanted a real rel.

i get dumped because i always want a RELATIONSHIP with women hahahaha what a MONSTER I am.

clingy and needy, always wanted a Relationship.

oh well there’s serious rels and then theres casual rels. why do I always want a serious rel?

because I am an OLD SCHOOL WHITE MAN, and I KNOW that sex cannot be treated CASUALLY!

so yeah not only do i think secs is intmate, i think KISSING is kinda intimate too! and i feel a lot more positively towards it than secs, ie its something i can actually enjoy, possibly because it doesnt make babies but still allows you to show affection for your bitch, like cuddling. and its much SAFER and lower RISK, and I think its super FUN and stress free, and I RESENT women for not liking it so much, or thinking its BORING.

if you think somethings boring, YOUR BORING hahahahahahaha.


uncle bern might have clued me into that saying.

oh lord their are LATVIANS speaking LATVIAN in the poker room hahahaha.

this is really interesting. yes i luv latvians, they are white as hell. or are they finngolian hahaha. latvians are classic joohaters and ovened 6 gorillion joos in riga in 1943.




june 1

well i feel kind of CONFIDENT right now which is GOOD, I want to feed this dog and starve the other dog of doubt and fear and weakness hehehehe. not feed that dog. you choose which dog you feed. or wolf. or whatever. if you dont know that parable, you dont deserve a job hahaha. def not a 15 dahj.

so I muh interview for the sweet city job. i didnt ask for business cards, i tried to tell some specific stories, got kinda tongue tied as usual, got the impression they wanted to move quick so tried not to ramble.

anyway i was determined to find email addresses for each person. i found one on the city website directory. i then Studied how emails seemed to be constructed for the city and used that to deduce the email of the second person. the third person was the hardest. I could not find their first name or their last name. i didnt know how to spell their last name. i had several guesses. i finally found them with a quite different spelling there. a normie would have just called and asked. anyway sent the thank you directly to them. did not include 4 documents this time. seemed like that could be overbearing.

so i felt a sense of confident accomplishment when I finally found that email address.

had a dream last night that had a gurl…..and it was NOT that woman! this woman in the dream was fictional, a petite, young, blond haired woman. MAYBE she was a composite of women 2 and 3. Maybe she was just a cute young blond woman. in it she was presenting herself to me to get FOOKED. I was like, i dont know who you are, you dont know who i am, you are certainly a crazy slut, but damn are you a qt little thing hahahaha. I shouldnt stick muh dick in crazy but I will NOT get this chance again for it could be 10 years or more. and at that point the gurl is not going to be a very qt 20 year old. so I am gonna do this. I should prob Wrap It Up Tho. I woke up before the dream went any further.

you shouldnt stick your d in crazy…..but if you have a 20 year old blond QT spreading for you, yes you should hahahaha. just wear a rubber and make her sign a waiver of consent hahahaha. and know that there is gonna be some drama afterwards. and whatever you do , do not get feelings for her, or get too used to this, because she is gonna cut you off before you’re ready to be cut off. guaranteed. so just be thankful to get one bang out of the cute crazy slut.

the people in the interview were nice enough, no hard questions really, but I rambled a bit and I sensed they wanted to move along quickly. there was another person waiting to go in as soon as I left. I tried to keep it short. but that is difficult for me. anyway it went ok and I would like this job much moar than the post office job. because its closer, there are weekends off, and most people seem fairly nice in the city hall hahahaha. whenever I go in there people seem relaxed and they arent on headsets with calls all the time looking like they want to K themselves hahahaha. they can ask other people for help.  there was a fat young man who looked like an awkward virgin. there was a cute young woman who looked like a slightly shy nonslut. but also still good looking at age 26 or so. She would be at the top of muh seduction list hahahahahahahahaha. i am sure the fat young man is hopeless in luv with her and will probably quit his job because of her hahahaha. well PROBABLY she is married. I was too busy thinking about The Interview to look for a Ring hahahaha. besides some of these Hypergamous Mercenaries don’t wear their wedding rings at work, because what if a rich lawyer or contractor comes into city hall one day hahahaha. a rich albanian man with expensive suit and bmws hahahaha who makes tons of money from smuggling drugs and secs slaves under the table hahaha. she can then monkey branch to him and throw her husband away like garbage.

see, people who arent women haters just dont think like that. because really women arent ACTUALLY THAT bad. but women haters like me THINK they ARE.

so yeah stuff like GAME and roosh seems so…2010 by this time. the old pick up artists are tired of it and the young men are asking the same questions and getting woke sooner, namely, recognizing black pill nihilist for the nihilistic garbage that it is, and saying, i dont care about banging sluts, I want to marry a nice gurl and have children. young men are MUCH more open to that way of thinking than when I was young and we just wanted to bang bitches. i think older millennials like me are much more NIHILISTIC. people that were born in my birth year. the younger kids are actually smarter and better. game and manosphere is losing interest, more and more people are tuning into the alt right. or maybe i am just saying that because thats why I am personally doing, and roosh is kind of doing it.

i cant entirely hate roosh. I read him years ago. i’m essentially part of his generation. ie an old nihilistic fart.

matt forney, well I read a lot more of him when he was in mala fide, and I think he is actually younger than me.

they just need to be more pro-white. forney and aurini. I think they are open to it but they wont ever be 1488. aurini is a great writer but I just cannot listen to his super gay voice. it is one of the most annoying voices I have ever heard. I have known a few people that talked like that and I always found that way of speaking very very annoying.

MW and TRS are my go to places now, they will show me the way. i wonder what the “next” thing will be hahaha. But this hasnt been a bandwagon thing for me at all. I have been moving slowly toward it for years.

i think racialism is a natural next phase to manosphere mra mgtow mens stuff. you go through a mens phase before you advance to the FINAL RED PILL of RACE. Also I find that this helps you appreciate women more. not hate them as much. So I can’t help but think of super mra types as being in a temporary phase. that is, i find it Problematic hahaha when they DONT treat it as a temporary stage on the way to Final Red Pill Racialism.

so yeah if i can figure this out by age 30 then so can any man. so I dont fully trust mgtows over 30 hahahaha.

But I will always like Uncle Bern, I just wish he found a decent woman and had some kidz. I think he would like to. I hate to say he’s too old……but he’s not getting younger. It’s not impossible though. just marry an ugly young white girl and start having kids right away, that would work. why ugly? well, hopefully not super ugly. but ideally he should get a gurl a full 20 years younger than him hahaha and that is NOT easy.

I mean shit I want a gurl a full 10 years younger than me haha.

but yeah read the comments on mgtow videos and its clear these guys are even bigger woman haters than i am. i dont want to be a woman hater! and I am happy that as a Huhwhyte Nationalist 1488, I don’t HAVE to hate women. women are important and good. doesn’t mean you still shouldnt be aware of the risks. doesnt mean you cant hate wh0res and sluts!

i know MJ is degen garbage but I still want to sm0ke it. I know my 1488 brethren are against it and that’s fine. but I’m the special snowflake where the rules dont apply to me hahaha. well they do, but I’m not gonna try to change THEIR minds. I essentially just want to use it to get thru my time of sorrow hahaha. use it for 3 months at a time and make time pass and get thru 1 day at a time. then quit. and hopefully at that time i will be magically more successful, and magically more over That Woman hahaha. i wouldnt go telling my 1488 buddies about it, nor would i expect them to understand, or approve.

but then I come on here and essentially I am a face for The Movement, and, as such, I should NOT be condoning something the Movement disapproves of.

in other words i am disobeying the movement. and certainly the movement, and the huhwhyte race, is 1488000000000000 times more important than sm0king MJ!!!!!!

I’m not gonna try to change the movement, im not gonna change their minds. but do I want to represent the movement? kind of. I want to make other whites more racially aware and awake. But I could never lead in the movement because of my own degeneracy and lack of achievement, and I understand that. I dont really want to lead anyway.

cant believe i never really saw dead poets society and now it is on tv and i am sorta watching it and it seems like it would be good if i actually paid attention to it hahahaha. ideally i would watch it with a nice gurl like that woman, that or watch it while totally blazed on degenerate weed hahahaha. hhehehehe. i want to get a job just so i can use it as an excuse to sm0ke w33d hahahaha.

what if it is a way to become closer to G-d hahahaha.  I could see that.

yeah just watching a movie with HER would have been really nice. i fantasized about that. sitting next to her and cuddling with her watching a tv or movie. without it ending in degenerate stuff , well the way we would do it wouldnt be degenerate. it would be the least secsy secs ever.

i hate how everything has to be secsy. thats not the way it is. thats j00ish poison saying cars have to be sexy and clothes have to be sexy and everything is supposed to remind you of fun, casual sexs. fook that shit.  fook these god damn degenerates.

i really should be paying more attention to this movie, i wuld probably enjoy it. fookin dad from that 70s show aka clarence boddicker, I didnt know he was in this. or ethan hawke for that matter. everyone plays a good role. more of an “ensemble” story than I thought. very 2 dimensional characters.  though they should give him the choice of going to harvard and being a doctor OR a lawer OR an engineer OR an accountant OR a banker OR a businessman hahahaha. there are many ways to be successful in life than just a DOCTOR. ESPECIALLY if you go to HARVARD. so his father should understand THAT at least.

also because I am a Sophisticated Cineast, I can see the parrallels between this and “picnic at hanging rock”, them both being Peter Weir pictures. Noice Australian Bloke.  Bruce Weir hahahahaha. (only me and the Aussieposting Aussies on the internet will get that joke.) knowing this will not get you a good wife or a good job hahaha. going to harvard and becoming a doctor OR lawyer OR engineer OR businessman OR banker will.

is he gonna K himself? clarences kid? dr wilson hahahaha. no he’s a good actor in this too. i hope he doesnt K himself. his father doesnt hate him, theres just a huge misunderstanding. oh that would be sad.

oh jeez i guess he did. well that sucks. live blogging me watching dead poets society.

well wouldnt it make sense more for him to just run away from home?

if i had been paying closer attention it probably would have made more sense.

anyway I will recruit whites for a white movement but I am not a leader and I will tell you right away to keep your damn MJ smoking in the closet. i am not really butthurt that they are against it. WELL, maybe I wish they would be a LITTLE more accepting of special snowflakes like me. because I’m using it as medicine to get through pain and grief, and also to get closer to my higher power hehehehe.

Can’t let the perfect be the enemy of the good hahahahaha. if MJ makes me a more happy white then so be it.

well i KNOW happiness is not the highest virtue. I dont really CARE about happiness. well, i DO care about being a confident man with agency who is able to shape the course of his life. And I think a man like this is probably likely to be somewhat happy as a by=product of all that agency and confidence and awesomeness.

really what i want is CONFIDENCE.

I felt some confidence after I finished that interview (even though the interview was only about average and not GREAT) and after I found that womans email address. I even used linkedin to try to connect wiht the third woman. I really doubt she will accept. but if she does, that will broaden my network in this organization with her 300 connections hahaha.

june 2

first day in a while did not have weird dreams. nothing with that woman. nothing with any woman. good. fook women, i hate them all hahahahahaha. no jk.

applied to a few jobs today, have been slowing down there. but its a very good way to keep the Stream of Unsuccessful Interviews coming regularly hahahaha. cuz it will take them a few weeks to interview view. if they even do that.

i watch all these crime and murder shows and there are these white people doing horrible things, people cheating on their spouses, killing each other. is this normal? well its not normal for most white spouses to disappear or K each other, but what about cheating?

wwwwwhat if i went out with her, woudl she ever cheat on ME?

probably hahaha. I would be the start of Her Cheating Career hahaha. never cheated on a man before me but by the time she got with me she was jaded. she didnt care who she hurts hahaha.

stories of people breaking up and getting back together. I hear gossip and its always interesting.

like this guy I know where a month ago he had “broke up” with his GF, which had happened at least 2 times before, but now they are back together and she is MOVING IN.  he is totally in luv with her and I do not trust her at all. i dont know the full story of course. I think he is so in luv with her, but he is understandably scared to Take The Next Step to have her Move In. beyond that its all speculation. maybe she gave him an ultimatum. let me move in with you or we are DONE.

she should not be giving ultimatums like that. i dont trust her at all. I dont want him to be so in luv with her, because now she has the power to DESTROY him. he can do BETTER.

and instead of ultimatums, why not have communication? negotiation and compromise and talking?????

i hate this breaking up and getting back together. it shows you havent THOUGHT and TALKED about it enough and is just some bitch being FLIGHTY and STUPID and EMOTIONALLY RETARDED. they dont know how to Have Relationships with Human Beings. they are like 50 foot baby with juggling flaming chainsaws hahahaha. 50 foot baby getting a mario invincibility star where they K everything they touch!!!!!!!!!

and then another story of another guy. an older man (early 40s) dating a much younger gurl (uhhhh early 20s). Everyone thought it was weird but I was like GOOD FOR HIM. but i guess the gurl was a real retard. dont think she was a slut though. but nobody liked the gurl. she was weird and stupid and unlikeable.  i was worried she would flake out, dump him, and he would be heartbroken for another 10 years.  so i heard he finished it with her. i asked for clarification, who dumped who. he dumped her. i thought well GOOD FOR HIM.

BUT apparently she dumped him a few times BEFORE. then they always got back together. but finally at the end, HE dumped her. that is GREAT. well, assuming marriage and children was not a possibility. and he decided he was done with her.

I never had that. I would essentially get dumped TWICE. when I was pseudodating these gurls, they would dump me, I would be heartbroken, but also try to get back together with them, then they would make out with me and cuddle with me again, I would get my hopes up, and they would “dump” me again soon after.

i would MUCHHHHHHHHH prefer to be in the situation of me wanting to dump them.

and i think it’s interesting how he was dumped the first time, but in the end, HE dumped HER. that means his mind and his feelings changed. from very good to not so good. I never had that happen. well, not until after I was dumped and I started to h8 the bitches hahahahaha.

basically I never have felt the want to dump a woman. Always the dumped, never the dumper.

if you cheating wife gets preggers from another man and you get mad and punch the wall, then YOU are the bad guy. You are abusing her and it’s your FAULT. you MADE her cheat on you and get preggers from another man.

I hate that shit about women. They do horrible shit and they COMPLETELY BLAME it on YOU. they can’t even admit a TINY FRACTION of responsibility.

even 1%! I’m not asking them to admit 50% like a mature adult grown up! but just admit 1%!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


why do they have to be so EXTREME????????? meet me 1% of the way at least!!!!!!!!!!


if they give you the option to upload a resume for a 9 dollar an hour part time job, instead go ahead and upload 7 documents like this hahahahahaha.

heh. i am still hoping THAT WOMAN looks at muh LINKEDIN profile. then I will be able to see that she did. then I will contact her and say baby come back. you can blame it all on me hahahahahaha

cuz I used to be her one and only contact on linkedin until I cut off the connection. she simply doesnt use it, although she may well start using it now that she is on an intense job search. unless she immediately got a job through a friend. which is possible. i don’t want to google search her and look at her indeed resume or her linkedin to even try to confirm. i have her linkedin page blocked with a blocking plugin hahaha.

hey excuse me for caring about somebody that i was friends with for over 2 years hahaha. it wasnt all in my mind. damn.

was a little productive today. updating my resumes on several local hospital websites. last time i did my application I was lazy and didnt put all the employers. some didnt even have linkedin links. the linkedin link is a great value add IF they go to it because it contains everything. absolutely everything. out there for the whole world to see hahaha.

684 calories over the limit yesterday just for going out for social game and eating pizza. god damn. this is how EASY it is to GAIN WEIGHT.

so think about the other person who ate the same amount of pizza, some wings, and some beerz!!!!!! that is more in that one snack that a normie should be eating in a whole day! he is trying to lose weight too and goes to the gym diligently. but its just so easy to Overeat.

Eating as much as you really want is overeating, and you will gradually gain weight until you are Morbidly Obese.

Morbid Obesity is the logical conclusion of eating what you want.

Losing Weight Slowly is the logical conclusion of being slightly hungry most of the time hahahahaha.

I hate being slightly hungry most of the time hahahaha.

oh dear god that gets better every time i read it.

heh i guess r9k had a meme of “ROASTIES”


ok ok enough of these pictures.

anyway i am happy about the older man who dumped the younger gurl, even if she is younger, because it sounds like her youngness did not outweigh her worthlessness, and i like it when men dump women for a change hahahaha.

i am worried about the guy who is in luv with his flaky crazy GF who is moving in with him. i bet she is bipolar, she is going to make his life a living hell, and dump him WHILE she is living with him. i dont want that to happen to him, but there is no way I could convince him against this.

i guess technically “ROASTIES” dont actually indicate that a gurl is a huge whore. But you might be able to make them feel very insecure about it, and establish your masculine dominance and control. and then she wont leave you in the lurch, and will be loyal and nice to you!

you have to DOMINATE women in order to make them be NICE to you!

and i am not that good at DOMINATING anybody. i really dont CARE about DOMINATING anybody.

and that is why i am a total failure with wimmin hahahahaha.

sheeeeeit just got a rejection letter from university job that would have been SICK. was not a Finalist hahaha for that sweet union full time with benefits mon thru fri 14 dollar an hour job. i bet they would have liked my shitty coat and nervous, weird demeanor if they had called me in for an interview hahahahaha. i could tell them how fun it is to be a kissless virgin hahahaha.


is this meant to suggest, this confirmation number, that i am the 622th person to apply for this job? horry sheet that would suck. can’t be the 622th person to apply this day; what about this week? this month? this quarter? all time on the somewhat new job portal for this company?

god damn sperm guzzling btich with roasties hahahaha.

well i dont even care if they have roasties, as long as they have been with less than 10 guys.

i mean 5. hahaha

i mean 3.

3 to 10. 6.5 guys.

7 guys? eeeeeehhhhh still too much for my liking.

123 applied jobs, only 19 rejections hahahaha. and then 123-19 jobs that didn’t bother to send a rejection email hahahahahahaha.

so im obviously Shotgunning resumes and not TAILORING each application with the individualized attention it NEEDS! and or there is something GLARINGLY wrong that I am just not seeing, and need to have someone else look at this shit!

but I HAVE gotten interviews!

but the interviews havent led to an Offer!

but the shittiest jobs MIGHT give me an offer!

but they havent yet! plus I am leaning heavily towards saying NO to those offers hahaha.

the WAY women have relationships, and essentially the way they TREAT PEOPLE, is just disgusting and distasteful. I would NEVER treat people like that, and I can’t believe how they have no remorse over doing things. Not even serious things per se, but still things I wouldn’t personally ever do.  like being in a pseudodating secsual rel for “a minute”, or not discouraging thirsty omega orbiters. yeah the orbiters are stupid and retarded but WHY ARE YOU STILL HANGING OUT WITH THEM? JUST TELL THEM YOURE NOT INTERESTED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! when you continue to hang out with them, THATS LEADING THEM ON!!!!!! STOP LEADING GUYS ON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ANd they are always leading some guy on AT ALL TIMES!!!!!!!!!!

stop being so shitty!!!!!! just treat people like HUMAN BEINGS!!!!!!!

dont just keep breaking up with a person and getting back together, have a serious grown up talk about things!

make an effort!

show even just 1% accountability and responsibility!

try to act even 1% more mature than a damn BIG BABY!!!!

just give a LITTLE! doesnt even NEED to be a LOT!

yet this is asking too much of women.

Am I asking them to be more than what they naturally are? why is what they naturally are so god damn ridiculously DISAPPOINTING???????? Can’t you just be a LITTLE disappointing and not a LOT??????


hmmm i think there is too big a rand for cyborgs, or robots for that matter too. i was hoping to get at least slightly strange. although i only added them up once. maybe i forgot to add one or two on the calculator hahahaha.

yeah its gonna be real hard to get to normie. i wish getting a loser job would give you 20 points insteaed of just 4 hahahah. WHO CAME UP WITH THIS? huge wizards and robots thats who.  so i think they would want an exclusive club and would err on the side of mislabeling a neet as a normie, ie giving more points for secs or making out with a grill or having a job. well i used to have an attractive face, hahahaha. now i just look like an old weirdo. my face got old hahaha.

yeah ok i am gonna go for a longer than 70 minute powerwalk, more like 90 min. need to burn 684 calkories hahahahaha.

the guy who created the tuffguy violent vidya game god of war 10 years ago now goes for 900000000000000 tweets on implicit systematic institutionilized sexist and patriachy of a prom photograph hahahaha. he says he doesnt even know who anita sarkeesian is hahahaha.





yeah loveshack and relshiptalk are all good. god bless them. and me. all of us.

well SHE is at no contact for 6 weeks and I am only at no contact for 2 weeks.

well if she SAW the email, then technically she KNOWS i contacted her. doesnt matter if she didnt read it! then we are both at no contact for 2 weeks. HA!

BUT if she BLOCKED the email and doesnt even KNOW i sent it…… diff story then.

anyway she is OVER IT. she was OVER IT in ONE DAY. meanwhile it will take me like a YEAR to get over it.

that means i Luved her LITERALLY 365 TIMES more than she luved me.

that is a pretty goddamn big difference.


but yeah it IS a shock because we had a decent friendship, i felt like i knew her. we had COMMON VALUES and a common way of looking at the world. so its all the more frustrating that we could not communicate with each other about our rel. we could communicate about other stuff!!!!!!!!!!

thats the frustrating thing. we DID communicate very WELL on other stuff, like just talking to each other and becoming friends very quickly! but we could NOT talk about the problems in Our Rel!

I was willing! She was not!

yeah we had those areas we had problems communicating on. like talking about her rels with Men, and my Rel with Her. basically talking about her Rels. it was DIFFICULT for me. it was IMPOSSIBLE for her. so impossible in fact, she would rather throw the whole relationship away than TALK about it!!!!!!!

do i really want to be in a Long Term Rel with someone like that???!?!?

yes yes i do hahahahaha

because i know its not intentional, i know she is a better person than that.

unfort i cant MAKE her treat ME better.

i cant MAKE her do a god damn THING. i am totally HELPLESS here.

helpless helpless helpless helpless.mp3 hahahahahahaha

yes thats a neil young song. technically a CSNY song but it is all neil hahaha.

went for a third 2.8 miler, so up to 8.4 miles for the day. at 168.8 pounds from 169 the other week hahahaha

>tfw you have to Jog 8 miles a day to lose 1 pound per month lol

took a damn shower for the first time in 3 days hahahaha

REALLY? i was THAT annoying by being PUSHY for wanting to TALK about an obvious problem, that it warranted her cutting off all contact with me forever?

i think the best explanation is that she is AFRAID more than anything. she is straight up PARALYZED BY FEAR and nothing i can do can make her less afraid.

i only knew of one super beta orbiter she had, she would complain about him and try to avoid him too! i mean this guy was pathetic, about 10000000 times more omega than me. i cant remember what i told her when she told me, this was like 2 years ago. i said jeez why dont you just tell him str8 up youre not interested and you HAVE A BOIFRAN for gods sake.

I think she said he knows she had a boifran? and they all went out to dinner, her, her boifran, and this pathetic guy, and she thought that would send him the message. signals. it did not of course.

so i said just tell him already, i have a boifran, im not interested, sorry, and i cant remember what she said to that. something like oh god thats so awkward, probably.

well i was a lot closer to her than this weird beta orbiter.

i guess he was really anxious and mental. well i can relate to that!

he stopped liking her stuff on FB all the time but she did not unfriend or BLOCK him like she BLOCKED me!

BLOCKING says clearly she doesnt want to talk but says NOTHING about why:

does she hate me? is she afraid of me? is she afraid of the whole situation? paralyzed by fear and anxiety? she doesnt want to see me because it would be hurtful TO HER? her seeing ME is too hurtful? does that means she luvs me?

i swear to GOD i will never dump someone like this.

hows it so hard to write an email?

because she feels I would be able to “win any argument” because i am more Articulate and In Tune With Emotions than she is, so i would use that to Control or Manipulate her?

besides, even if she did communicate, i would prob still push her to Try To Like Me.

so that doesnt mean that all communication is useless!!!!!

i would have had communications with her about my feelings towards her, stuff like yeah i know its a bad time for you but is there any possibility. lets at least get this in the open cuz its KILLING ME and you need to know and i need to tell you cuz its KILLING me. please halp it stop killing me and lets put it on the table and see if we can live with it.

obviously we could not!


terrible dream last night, and also very little sleep after staying up extremely late to watch ridiculous movie on TCM, steve mcqueen in “an enemy of the people” which was an ibsen play and he was intentionally playing “against type” but looked great with long hair and long beard. but the movie was confusing and wasnt sure i liked it or even understood it.

then horrible dream. i was with the woman and a man supposed to be her most recent lover, where that ended badly for her and broke her heart late last year.

so three of us there. i was sort of touching her and being loving to her and not sure if we were Making Out, but she was indulging me, cuddling with me not super passionately, but i was desperate and loved it. the bad boy boifran was chilled out and did not care, was not jealous in the least.

then a short time passed and it was time for her to “switch over” to him, i guess the understanding was that she would alternate her attentions back and forth between me and him.

she was immediately much more passionate with him and jumped on him with some kind of lascivious, salacious, tongue thing, and then it got pretty weird, like them licking each others faces like animals and spitting on each others faces and mouths in a crazy and sexual way and she became a Wild Sexual Animal, and i had gotten none of that, but sort of wanted it.

I think I got angry and then spit on her, and then they got angry, and i said “WHAT, you guys are spitting on each others faces, why can’t i spit on the back of her head?”

when the idea was, they were spitting on each other as some weird sex thing that was getting her all hot, and i was spitting on her in disgust and anger for her being way more into him than she was into me.

and i got extremely jealous, in contrast to the other guy’s chillness when she was giving attention to me.

so i was hating because he got to spit on her but i couldnt. plus his spitting was different. also she WANTED him to spit on her and didnt WANT me to spit on her, so technically i was “raping” her in a way, doing something to her against her will. and i wanted her to want me like she wanted him.

then we entered into some weird “sex prostitution market zone” where it was legal and encouraged for people to sell sex services openly. I wasnt really into the idea and joking with her, oh are you gonna sell your body too?

and she quickly said yes like it was normal and no big deal for her to do that.

REALLY? i said, now shocked and surprised. EVEN ANAL?

there was a list of suggestions for Suggested Sex Services and Recommended Retail Prices, like regular sex, oral, anal.

and just as quickly and matter of factly she said yes, like she does this every day.

and i saw she was charging a Low Price of Fifteen Dollars for Anal Sex, and I said “Can I get in on that?”

and she said Yeah sure. but not in a Special way, but more like Well Any Paying Customer who has $15 can fook me in the ass, no big deal.

then i found myself being pushed into a sex zone, where i had no idea what was going on, i hadnt signed up for anything. also it turned out that some merchants were FILMING all of the sex and making pornography.

I might have prostituted myself to bang some attractive women, but i did not realize everything was being filmed. i said oh no i didnt sign up for this, her sleazy boifran forged my signature! he forged my signature! and then i ran out of there. the sleazy but chill boifran, and my female friend, had no qualms about selling themselves and being filmed on video. i ran out of there.

thats about it. it was basically disappointment and disgust in her being ok with being a True Whore;

and happiness when she let me cuddle with her;

and anger and jealousy when she gave more passionate action to the other guy.

she not only have much greater sexual attraction to him but you could tell she liked/loved him more too, and that the sex came as a package deal with that love, as it should IMHO!!!!!!!!

sex with somebody you love.

thats what i liked about her, is she never reached the stage many women do, where they separate sex and love, or even just sex and emotion, making sex no strings attached.

she would not have secs with a guy unless she at least LIKED him.

she would get jealous and upset if the man was distant or suspecting of cheating.

i think that is only normal! you SHOULD at least LIKE your sex partners and WANT to have an exclusive relationship with them, where they do not have sex with other people!

this used to be normal thinking.

but in the postmodern degenerate postmoral cesspool shithole world, sex means nothing, its just entertainment you do after your fulfilling career, or not so fulfilling career. but just mere FUN and nothing more.

she knew it was MORE THAN MERE FUN. i felt the same way, so i liked her for Sharing My Values about Sex.

honestly in the (LONG!) time i knew her, i never saw this value change in her. i only knew her to have secs with 2 guys, both of whom she had genuine feelings for. shit maybe she didnt even have actual secs with that second guy, though that would really be pushing it.

and In A Crummy World were most women her age have Sex after the Second Date, and are Always Dating A New Guy one immediately after another, maybe several at the same time, that means they do not have Real Feelings for anyone, and are also having Sex with a Lot of People, who they dont have Real feelings for.

i think this is sick and degenerate and SAD and I am seeking a Partner who agrees with me, and i think she agreed with me, even though she could probably not articulate it as well hahahahaha. which is also prob why she was scared to talk to me, because she knows i am 100000000000000000 times more articulate in Talking About Feelings than she is hahahahaha.

but she was willing to talk about feelings when SHE had a lot of herself invested, like with those two guys. THEN she would go all in and be willing to have those difficult conversations.

but NOT WITH ME. not when she DIDNT have a lot invested, and she had been deinvesting for months.

it was a SHOCK when it ended for me, like ripping the bandaid off.

it was no shock at all for her, more like an old wet bandaid just falling off already. she had checked out months previous.

i had not checked out. i was moving more IN. i didnt want to believe it was over. i would stubbornly fight to fix it. but she was already checked out.

anyway the SHOCK was so great for me, it took at least a month just to start to get past the SHOCK. now i can get into the REAL pain hahahaha.

that dream did not help.

i went on linkedin today and looked at that stupid world.

if you want to do good on interviews, read linkedin for 2 hours a day. see how your successful career “friends” present themselves. read the BLOGS AND ARTICLES by successful career people, talking about the Ideal Employee and Fit and Grit and Culture and Achievement and Success and Team Leadership and Work Ethic and shit. BRAINWASH yourself with that shit until you can speak that language fluently without even trying.

articles by strong independent career women in the career workplace. the inside story of the woman who worked at amazon and was misquoted by the NYT in the july 2015 story that amazon


“advice for the broken” from MUH BRUH Millennial Woes

how did i miss this vidya

good comments as well. would like to see him do vidyas like this…….2 videos a month or more hahahaha. his political and social commentary is of course very valuable but i like his Personal Growth material as well.

great guy who has also been in the abyss of despair, has known true luv and heartbreak, and actively fights degeneracy and communism hehehe. if i lived in scotland i would try to meet up with him hahahaha. well if i lived in his actual town since no person is kewl enough to TRAVEL for, and this is of course why Long Distance Relationships fail, because humans are disposable and replacement, and you can find Just As Good a Replacement Friend/Lover who is Closer Geographically 2 U

ok yeah but reading that linkedin stuff  i thought these people are not my people, i would never fit into these jobs, THIS WORLD, even with people i was/am friends with.

but the best is seeing peoples little sisters who are 9 years younger than you being successful and normie. hard working normies who have 10 different jobs throughout college and then get a good entry level career job right after college and you remember when they were a preteen hahahaha and now they are a bigger winner at age 22 that you are at age 30-35 hahahaha.

good times man

time for a 2.8 miler before it pours rain


nov 30 2914

yeah buddy. it aint easy being a working stiff with a stressful exahusting job. it would be easier with a nice gurlfran you could hang out with, but that’s just an extraneous thing of life. not as important as careeeeeeeeer. f00k u degenerate earth.


this sh1t better animate. it is a totes animated gif. not sure if wordpress is straight enough to animate gifs.

or if wordpress is too j00ish.

a bunch of degenerate j00ish n199erz.

suk muh d1k.

go get a masterz degree f4990t.

and suk a bag of k1ke cox.

heheh reading too much 4chan! at least i don’t do that erry day!

f00k yeah will watch DIE HARD on tv. hmm this might be die hard 2.

porbably the least degen thing on tv. be moar like john mcclane. yippee ki yay motherf00ker.

yeah this has got to be die hard 2. terrists on a plane. is that bad guy the COWBOY from MULHOLLAND DRIVE???? It really looks like him. that is awesome. that gave me great feelz.

but you know what would make it even better?



dont rustle me.png

advice for lazy college dropout losers

good search term buddy.

my advice? get some meds, namely some ssri’s and some benzos. start going for powerwalks 5 miles a day. GET A HOOKER. until you finally get a job. then you will be much more entitled to complain and be bitter and stressed, because you have a fulltime job like a sucker.

then you will be entitled to start a blog on how much you hate your job, but at least you’re working fulltime; and also complain about how lonely you are, and/or how all women are b1tches and wh0res. the end. but at least you’re not a degenerate like all these fooking disgusting n199er fooking, k1ke coxsuking degenerates. good goyim.

just dont go back to college, unless the college pays for it, and you get a stem degree that will hire you before you graduate.

dont forget to GET A HOOKER. should have gotten a hooker when  was a 21 year old virgin.

should have gotten a hooker when was an 18 year old virgin.

it will make you less nervous about sechs, less nervous around wimmin, and it’s the hooker’s job to put you at ease. she knows what she is. pay 300 bucks for a DECENT hooker, a real professional, not a disgusting meth / crack whore or wh0re from backpages. but a profession Provider or Caregiver or Escort or whatever the fook they call themselves. pay extra for that. you get what you pay for.

buy all your clothes from walmart or

buy regular fit or classic fit pantz, that say they sit at the waist.

buy a good pair of bootz and coat for the winter so you can continue to powerwalk in winter.

go to a sauna regularly.

smoke w33d once a week on your night off.

grow a long beard but keep the edges trimmed and neat.

grow long hair even if you’re going bald, but keep the sides and neck trimmed and neat.

trim your own neck hairs.

wear wrangler pantz and jeans.

bring a small bottle of whole milk with you to verk every day.

get fingerless gloves with mitten flaps on them.

get a long scarf. found a great Dickies brand scarf that is nice and long, wide, and plain black.

wear thermal pantz on your powerwalks outside in the winter.

get to work super early and impress your managers.

start a new sheet of stuff you need to know for werk every month.

have a master sheet you use to give you confidence and calm at your jerb.

use txt files, never word files.

eat pizza flavored goldfish.

get a big swiss ball or exercise ball to work your core at all times.

don’t get angry at b1tches when they reject you. makes you look like the lesser man. just let them lead their degenerate lives and destroy themselves into total degenerate trash, while you remain morally superior.

bl4cks and j00z…….BAD NEWZ.

of course that also extends to Brownz.

dont be afraid to be a racist.

it’s much better to be a racist than a sexist. besides, it’s because of the j00 that women are degenerate wh0res anyway.

maybe if you can’t drink, maybe you can party with painkillerz a couple times a year. tentatively. thanksgiving, crimmus/new years, st pats, easter, 4th of july, labor day, . maybe.

throw stuff out that you don’t use. throw out papers and books and vacuum your room.

win friends and influence people by staring them in the eyes and asking them questions. open ended questions.

get an electric shaver with little trimmer thing on it.

get a beard trimmer.

get a hair trimmer.

get a nose trimmer.

live with your fam until you get your loanz paid off and have saved up at least 5k in an emergency fund. who cares if b1tches think that’s weird. THEY’RE weird, and filthy and degenerate, who CARES what they think? they spent 90000000000000 dollars to get a cultural marxist teaching degree!


sun nov 30 2014

and if i get rejected, well, it can only get a little bit worse, because i’m allready all in, i have nothing more to give or lose, except muh hope, hahahahaha.

and if i get rejected, well then i just work on my game to bang b1tches, , and life goes on. oh well. its not cancer. not a death sentence.

but yeah that would be diappointing. wow. disappointed in wimmin, well at least i have PLENTY of experience in that hahaha. what else is new.

was shia lebouef raped by a woman or a man. was he coerced into sechs by an ugly gurl, or was he full blown raepd up the 4ss by a man.

anyway. just play it cool. be cool. don’t be clingy or needy. less contact, less texting is BETTER.

and then when i get my chance, be decisive, be masculine, put it all out there, go all in. in a masculine, cool way.

and do likewise when you get a chance like this. and if you don’t like anyone, then be happy, because liking wimmin SUCKS. then just enjoy neckbearding on the internet and having contempt for everything. ohh how i long for those good old innocent days.

anyway, when a man bangs a woman, it makes him more masculine, imho. makes him feeeeeel more like a man, to do manly things like take risks and work and make gains and win and etc. so, banging is generally good for MEN’S HEALTH.

is it good for women’s health? with greater conditions. if they are in a monogamous loving traditional rel with a man, yes its probably good for her health, and give her oxytocin to bond with her man all the more strongly. but banging does not make women more feminine/healthy, as generally as it makes men more masculine/healthy.

if anything, i’d err on the side of caution and say it’s BAD for women’s health. unless in the context of a monogamous healthy rel with a man.

here’s a great epigram/sound bite i read on 4chan over my vacay:


hehehe that might be a little too /pol/ 4 U, but it’s just pol enough 4 moi!!!!!

albums are too darn long. 40 minutes is more than long enough for an album.

and even that’s too long to start off listening to the album. i can only listen to about 20 minutes max of an album unless i luv it.

therefore my anecdotal evidence proves a scientific fact: listening to the same album for like 18 minutes WILL be boring.

maybe even 15 minutes. heck, 10 minutes.

took a pwalk. very pleasant day, warm.

at my old job i never got nervous. at my current job i get nervous almost erry day. because i never know what i’m gonna get next. never know if it’s gonna be something i know, or don’t know. or if the person is going to be upset or chill. all that uncertainty is nerve wracking.

yeah, so education, work, career, life, and women have always been a struggle with me. i have always been a bit of an outsider in everything, all the time. well, thankfully it has been possible for me to make male friends. but everything else has been super hard, super struggle. education, work, women. with education and work i have made nominal gains and achieved the bare minimum at least: college, fulltime job. (not a college job though.) but with wimmin, i have not achieved the bare minimum of a steady ladyfrand whom i like. although at least i’m not a virgin! bretty damn close though.

i am all in already, so i really don’t have any more to give. i am just waiting for The Final Showdown, before my opponent shows their cards. usually this just takes a few seconds in an actual card game. but here it will prob takes months. and that is nerve wracking. anxiety producting.

anxiogenic hehehe.

we live in SUCH a DEGENERATE society!!! It’s sad and angering.

i’m moving to fooking MONTANA.

apply to over 25 jobs, r9k, hehehe

you can write a letter to the gurl u are hopelessly in luv with

“dear fatty, just give me a chance please. you don’t have to decide right now. it took me a while to get these feelings for you, a couple prereqs had to happen first, here’s what they are, and then after that everything clicked. so i am more than happy to wait if you think it would help. if it wouldn’t, and you’re just gonna jump on as many dix as possible right now, i think that’s a horrible idea and that will totally lower my respect of you, and would greatly damage our frendship MUCH more than me developing Like Like Feelz towards you.”


nov 29 2014 saturday


any. cold turkey right now is good. obviously i wish i could spend my vacation cuddling and sechsing her, but i can’t make that happen right now. so i will spend muh vacation reading 4 chan and writing tripe and listening to music and sleeping and powerwalking and buying silver and fatass pantz.

think i will go to church on saturday so i can sleep in on sunday hahahaha. of course still cut out early and have another scenic drive and powertalk.

1965 washington quarters are NOT silver. 1964 washington quarters ARE. 90% silver.


went to church, took scenic drive, wore new big pants, hooray

bought a new winter coat at for 60 bucks. i sort of needed a new winter coat but did not want to go out to the store with all the degenerates and amerifats so i took a gamble here. worst case scenario i can take the coat back to the local kohls and return it.

anyway i guess i don’t REALLY NEED a new coat, because my previous coat is not broken….it just looks like sh1t with a huge gash in it and white filling stuff bursting out, and it is too small.

regarding the coat, i almost bought it yesterday but thought it would be good to SLEEP ON IT, any big decision is worth sleeping on one or more nights. today i was like yeah i should buy that coat if it still is “on sale.” and it was.

ok going for powerwalk. ok did that.

i have not been interested in a degenerate gurl since 2008. for 6 years. pretty good mang.

i have only officially dated two gurls out of The Eight, and they were both degenerates.

However no more than four of the eight were degenerates, so i think that’s pretty good too. if 5/8 were degenerates, that would be cause for concern, that i am picking the wrong wimmin. degenerates.


HEH. if i had just been more persistent and brave and manly when i was a boy and first getting interested in gurls. just had some balls when i was like 12 years old. like the second i got interested in gurls, just grew a pair and went up and talked to them, and got my rejections out of the way then, until finally i would succeed at like age 13 or 14 or something.

yeah but i did totally make out with a gurl when i was 14 or 15. i just thought it sucked because i was trying to make out with her friend, not her, and i got inordinately butthurt by that, and was like fook that b1tch for screwing up my master plan, then i didn’t make out with a gurl again until i was 21 who i also lost the Virginity to. so weird man!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

anyway thats why i’m so OBSESSED with WIMMIN. if i had just banged more gurls when i was 16, like a normalfag, then i wouldn’t be thinking about wimmin so much, other than that they are crazy and stupid of course, but i’d be banging them, hahahahahaha.

anyway. it is much more natural and normal and sensible and reasonable to be a RACIST than it is to be a SEXIST.

in other words, it makes so much more sense to dislike people of another race, than to dislike women. (well, unless they’re women of a different race, hahahaha.)

which is why i’m more of a racialist now, and less of an MRA/MGTOW.

it is unnatural to be turned against women. whereas, it is only natural to be suspicious of other races , and to want to protect your own race.

4 chan. 4 chan is MY PEOPLE. especially pol and r9k. my 2 fav boards. i dont even go to b. just pol and r9k all day long.

though i am more of a normalfag and less of a virgin than the r9k neet virgins, however i’m not as alpha as the pol high test alpha males who are currently sechsually active and who have regularly banged 7/10’s and above and maybe even had a legit gurlfran once, and are not total sperg coward strangers to normalfag human intimacy, hahahahaha.

sunday nov 30

welp back to WERK tomorrow. slept till like 11 am, super late. i think it was the fact that i went for 2 powerwalks yesterday, and had no valium or nyquil.

also i wanted to point out that it seems more gurlz play vidya games now than ever before, and brag about how they sit at home like neets and play vidya all the time, but i hypothesize this doesn’t help the odds of r9k neet omega virgin males any, and that these Gamer Gurls will still flock towards the Masculine, Alpha males in the Gamer Subculture.

That’s just the way women ARE. don’t hate them for it. just become more masculine and alpha.