ON THE JOB TRAINING IS NOT TRAINING AT ALL

aug 27

sheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeit.

i mean i study the companies before doing the interviews. i write thank you emails. i dress nice. i shave my face. i act very interested in the job. i ask questions at the end. what the hell am i doing wrong hahahaha. my fatal flaw is that i get a little nervous. and that i have such a long GAP. something must be DEEPLY WRONG with me. he needs SERIOUS HELP. he SHOULDNT BE working. or, he thinks hes gonna work HERE? HA! he needs to PAY HIS DUES first! get a job at walmart or mcdonalds or a shitty restaurant or call center, show that youre WILLING TO WORK first, before you can get an AWESOME job like this!

this is for that phone interview on monday. looks like the company is more reputable than i thought. winning all these best places to work awards, having many skilled and respected engineers, a destination kind of employer, that only wants the best of the best. which i am not. but i was when i was 17-18!

also my problem is that i cant just suck it up and live through a shitty job. it breaks me down into a Dumpster Fire and then I end up Committing Career Suicide and moving DOWN the career ladder ultimately. i dont really pay dues but get actively punished.

then i see all the people with engin degrees working for this palce, making 60k, thinking DAMN, I went to a TOP SKOOL, I went to a better skool than THEY did, why didnt I just get a damn ENGIN degree, then I could be making 60k too, I could have a wife and a FAMILY, and a good job, instead of being a huge neet loser who cant deal with LIFE.

and get angry and discouraged and slow down on muh job search hahaha.

yeah well today i am studying the company so i sound informed on muh 15 minute phone interview monday. see if its enough to overcompensate and get me a physical interview. prob not hahahaha.

then tomorrow i will study the company for tuesday int. much more of a blue collar place. but they are big and they have been around a while. not some fly by night arab company hahahaha. or shitty crab people asian company.

shit i had way more confidence in 2013 when i was working my mickey mouse job and was becoming close friends with That Woman.

see im desperate but i also cant take just any job because if i take a super shitty call center or customer service job, i am very worried about muh emotional health, and would i snap and quit. i dont want to put myself into a position like that so i avoid applying for those kinda jobs. high stress jobs hahahaha.

thinking about partying tonight with a valium nyquil combo. it is saturday nigth after all.

so, have a better feeling about the tuesday interview than the monday interview as a job i could actually GET. but i feel the monday place would be more fun and chill and better workplace than the tuesday place. well of COURSE its HARD to get into a GOOD workplace! the easier the job is to get, the WORSE the job is gonna be, the more it is gonna push you to your Limit.  and not in the good way hahahaha.

aug 28

took the valium nyquil combo around 645 pm, did 4.2 mile powerwalk, went to bed, slept pretty good. the combo i guess chilled me out a little bit and made me sleep good. would still prefer partaking MJ hahahaha.

it shuts your mind down, you cant think negative thoughts because it takes too much effort to think at all hahahaha. in other words it might be difficult to WORK, where you are trying to solve problems and bullshit on your feet all day. explaining and bullshitting and coming up with plans and reasons and explanations and answers and solutions.

sheeeeeeeit. it might be That Womans birthday very very soon. thankfully it doesnt bother me as much as youd think it would. one of my goals was to spend a womans birthday with her and have birthday cuddling with them, or having them spend my birthday with me and have birthday cuddling. or secs. or handholding. or making out. or hanging out.

never happened though hahahahahahaha. 2 years ago i went to dinner with my female friend and it was near her birthday and i was right on the CUSP of starting to feel differently about her. but not quite sure i was there yet. but i was getting very close.

in fact i wasnt even sure what her exact birthday was. it takes a while before someones birthday is a big deal for you.  you gotta know them at least a year.

and the next year of course i would ahve really liked to spend her bday with her but by that time we were DONE.

and now we’ve been DONE for a full YEAR after that.

i heard this song when this album came out in 1998, 18 years ago hahahaha and i was a stupid angsty high schooler listening to the weekly radio metal show. i thought the song was very catchy and epic and it was the first time i enjoyed anything like power metal.

i never listened to the whole album. i will now give it a chance hehehehe.

hmm very sleepy and tired today, the day after the nyquil. i guess thats not suprising.

cheap “skullcandy” earbuds lasted only 2 weeks. what cheap chinese crap. one ear went out then the other ear went out very quickly. one ear is bad enough and time to buy a new pair of cheap chinese throwaway garbage.

537 that is my new goal hahahaha. 537 job applications hahahaha. i get 1 interview for roughly every 21.4 applications hehehehe. and so if i want 25 interviews, then 537.

i am “only” at 386 so far.

i have been slowing down lately, getting a bit discouraged.

maybe i should contact her on her birthday hahahahahahaha. no i am just joking.

 

did SHE ever contact ME on MY birthday? HELL NO! she didnt even KNOW when my birthday was! although i kinda make it hard. you have to ask me and then mark it down on your calendar. which nobody does because they just use facebook to remember birthdays hahahaha.

but yeah at one time she was a real friend and i havent found any new friends to fill that friend gap. and i liked having that kind of person playing that kind of role in my life. i mean shit it was a two way street too, i was playing the same role in her life too.

ok  went to shitstore and bought some shitty 10 dollar sony earbuds that i HOPE will last 1 month.

listen to some of the hammerfall album, see if its any good. need more positive shit hahahaha.

was listening to george feels and he had a very sad pathetic feelsy video and i was like yep i shouldnt listen to this, this is not gonna help me. something basically how he had done nothing with the past 3 years of his life, his biggest accomplishment was not jerking off for 100 days hahahaha. in 3 fookin years. so he felt bad about that and then i felt bad too about not accomplishing anything with my life either hahaha.

well i did accomplish a bit in the past 3 years: moved from old job to new job, became close friends with that woman, pushed myself to the limit with new job, did some super amazing shit that i lose sight of now, and cant convince employers that once i was valuable hahahaha, went on road trip with old friend, fell in luv with female friend, saw 3 classic concerts, discovered trs, and then shit started going bad, rel with woman fell apart, lost job, got dumped, was in a state of deep despair for months, started a gym membership for the first time in life, lost 30 pounds, applied to 386 jobs and went on 18 interviews, got 2 new good suits. so yeah id say i accomplished more than george hahahahaha in the past 3 years. there was some epically BAD shit, as well as some pretty good shit too, but the bad shit has been what i remembered most and what i am lingering in now.

anyway POINT IS, there was plenty of good shit or not bad shit, or at least forward moment or personal improvement.

but all the good shit happened in the first half, and all the bad shit happened in the second half, so the bad shit is all i remember.

well, losing the 30 pounds is a big deal and i am doing that right now.

so is buying the suit, and doing the interviews.

but the interviews also suck because they dont lead to anything.

inherently, the interviews are a good thing and i should view them as such, rather than DISQUALIFYING THE POSITIVE. and saying yeah interviews a normally all right, but THESE interviews arent so good because they dont RESULT in anything.

yes in our results oriented world its difficult saying something that doesnt have any results is a good thing.

but each abortion failure of an interview hahahaha is getting me closer to my goal of 25.

and the interviews arent really abortion failures. i look all right, i sound smart, although a little nervous, i show that ive done my homework on the company, i write thank you notes, i am one of 4 finalists for a 45k job, i mean come on these are all good things.

but the overall general shame of being an unemployable neet bum is SUCH MAGNITUDE hehehehe that it casts a shadow on all the other shit.

anyway, point is, there is a DECENT AMOUNT of good stuff ive done the past 3 years…..its just overshadowed by the bad shit because the bad shit was more recent, and honestly it was ABSOLUTELY DEVASTATING. it was probably greater magnitude than the positive stuff was positive. but there WAS still somewhat DECENT magnitude of positiveness on the positive stuff.

PLUS, we always interpret bad things worse than we interpret good things as good. in other words, really good shit WEARS OFF QUICKLY, while bad shit lingers. so we need like 5 good things to lift us up for every 1 bad thing. defeat feels much worse than victory feels good. FACT.

anyway point is george has his more positive videos and his more negative videos, and i should stay away from the neg ones. and so should he. being that we are very much alike and struggle with the same problems.

and just like him i need to focus on the positive and essentially IGNORE the negative. because its focusing on the negative and IGNORING THE POSITIVE that has gotten us in this horrible mindset. low energy, very low confidence, lazy, neet, in a rut, spinning the wheels, not trying, giving up easily, defeatist, etc.

i listened to a bit of the hammerfall and it made me want to listen to judas priest “painkiller” so i did. i guess they have similar sounding productions and the drum bit at the beginning of the album is a direct tribute to painkiller possibly. but the hammerfall is definitely a bit more “power metal” and the singer doesnt really sound like halford. which is FINE. halford is awesome, but i wanted something a bit more power metally anyway. like ridiculous, somewhat epic songs and songs about warriors and courage and all that. whereas judas priest is arguably not very power metally while at the same time influencing every power metal band….they never fully went that way themselves, because they were sorta reinventing themselves on every album.

probably iron maiden is the more power metally band.

 

YOU CANT CALL EM TRAITORS WHEN THEY NEVER HAD ANY LOYALTY TO BEGIN WITH

july 21

sheeit. gonna bite the bullet and install windows 10 already. this isnt gonna go away and its got pretty good reviews, safe to say it is rather windows 7 like, and not windows 8 like.

i mean when huge businesses innovate it SHOULD mean a better product….but it DOESNT. its always a damn gamble.

i dunno. its clearly better than windows 8. but thats not saying much. is it better than good ol windows 7?

well uhhh it will allow me to learn windows 10 in case it gets used in business hahahaha.

if it REALLY sucks i have 30 days to switch back.

but i mean microsoft will continue supporting and updating windows 7 for another few years right? just like they did with XP. they updated XP until damn 2013 or 14.

i might take a real /r/theredpill view towards women here for a few years, just real cynical and woman-hating, women are nothing but bitches and whores,

ok about 80 minutes later, have successfully upgraded to windows 10.  yeah it looks kinda dumb, i like windows 7 better hahaha but at least it saved my shit and i didnt have to reinstall everything and i could get right back into chrome and write about my neuroses and failures and shortcomings very quicky hahahaha.

ok. so just be hateful towards women. got it. down pat. you can trust me. i have been hating women for YEARS hahahaha.

i mean they are more irresponsible than ingra children. accept it, or get assmad about it. you can never change it. all you can do is be a power, authoritative, commanding LEADER of women, and unless you are willing to do that “extra” work, you will never be with a woman.

so i will be theredpill but with a few important differences: I am staunchly pro-white, i am pro-white above all else, I am basically a white nationalist, that supercedes and overrides theredpill (not to be confused with The Red Pill, hahahaha) when it needs to. also white women are needed to have white children, white families, so women are important in that regard.

you can have a good woman if she gets married young as a virgin, has several kids young before her career, and devotes herself to homeschooling those children. and by age 25 she has at least 3 young children and is doing that and has only ever been with ONE man, her husband; and she went straight from her father’s care to her husband’s care.

hard lines. NO HYMEN, NO DIAMOND hehehehe. ONE guy is too many. If youre not a virgin, youre a WHORE.

and plenty of redpill and mgtows and even more extreme woman haters would say this isn’t enough, this is SOFT, because ALL women are whores, and you shouldn’t want to have children with them, stupid goyim. just bang sluts and enjoy the decline.

well i say bang sluts too, but don’t let this sidetrack you from having children.

if you are a powerful enough man, you can afford to have children with whores and still raise them up good. look at GLORIOUS GOD EMPEROR TRUMPENFUHRER. he married a series of gold digging whores but still had many healthy, strong children. well except for his race traitor daughter hahahaha. but his sons turned out GREAT.

also I think his current marriage will last the rest of his life and that she wont try to extort him.

how did his divorces go with those other bitches? I imagine he would AGGRESSIVELY defend his assets from their treachery. did that work out? He can certainly afford top lawyers.

and who do you think has more influence on the children? the flaky bitch mother, or DONALD FOOKIN TRUMP???

Ideally he should have married more traditional women who were serious about being loyal. i think he might have got that with the current wife. hopefully. having a young son never hurts either.

also he made all his kids work in his company from a young age and gain a good work ethic. this is great.

the only place he screwed up besides marrying gold digging whores, was not keeping his daughter from marrying a j00 and damn converting to jooism. bad move don. he’s a smart guy, he HAS to be joo wise, of course he can never SAY anything. maybe he’s playing a long con here. joo the joo. his daughter can divorce the joo, take some money from him, and then marry a nice white man like her brothers hahahahahahahaha.

did the daughter have KIDS with that joo yet? cuz that would suck.

also, were his daughters huge SLUTS? that would also suck.

jeronimus/mindweapon talks about how he schooled his daughter against becoming a slut by going over the song “violet” by that whore Hole, where courtney love whines about being a broken whore. so jeronimus showed this to his daughter as a cautionary tale: don’t do this. and apparently she followed through. I hope she did.

http://songmeanings.com/songs/view/49702/

i refuse to listen to the song, but here are the lyrics, well they are not good, they sound like a heroin whore wrote them hahahaha.  and i can’t get much out of them, other than once men get what they want out of women, the men stop liking you and dump you, leave you in the lurch, hahahaha.

sounds like how women have treated ME hahahahaha.

well not really. im not sure what they wanted out of me. nothing really, they just wanted me out of their lives. well they got that!

and i guess she wrote this song about a bad breakup with billy corgan.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Violet_(Hole_song)

she thought he was a “jerk” but who knows who dumped who. i certainly wouldnt blame him for dumping her!

i do blame him for fooking that crazy whore in the first place!

and kurt cobain should have known better too.

but they were all compromised cuz they were degenerates on heroin all the time.

see what drugs do? they get you mixed up with crazy whores like courtney love.

anyway even women dont like sluts. no woman wants to BE a slut….they just cant control themselves in the presence of a confident badboi.

this is exactly why strong fathers are needed.

but wont the daughter REBEL against the strict father by sneaking out and being a slut ANYWAY? she RESENTS being CONTROLLED? so the father has to double down and be even MORE strict?

maybe in some cases but hopefully not most. i dont think jeronimus was like that and his daughter turned out all right……or did she? is she actually a huge slut but he just doesnt know? almost like being CUCKED by your own DAUGHTER?

anyway its pretty clearly a crazy slut kind of telling how she became a crazy slut, so yeah i guess its a good lesson for a young girl.

but there are plenty of guys who DONT operate like this. but you just dont like them hahahaha cuz women are attracted only to power and confidence, so blindly, that they cant even differentiate GOOD confidence vs BAD confidence.

which makes SENSE, cuz it gets you pregnant QUICKLY. reproduces the species. if you picked a bad man, your baby DIES, and THAT teaches you a powerful lesson, and hopefully you pick a better man next.

and having a good father will keep you from going through that pain.

basically, if women thought long term, theyd never make babies.

i dunno. i just think women could have been DESIGNED better. Compared to women, MEN are designed WAY better. more efficient, more sensible, more reasonable. with women, it seems wasteful, like how can nature LET this waste and inefficiency continue? survival of the fittest! and this is NOT FIT! having babies with any random man!

its ingrish and it definitely gets the babies flowing. r-selection at its “finest.” most species work like this! not only is sperm cheap, but all of life itself is cheap! half of babies DIE! oh well who cares!

but a woman can only have 1 or 2 or 3 babies (most likely 1, hahaha) in 9 months! any other animal can have a damn LITTER of 20 babies in like 3 months! THATS TRUE r-selection!

i guess its best to build a strong bond with your daughter, so she grows up being a real daddy’s girl, so when she’s 18, she wouldnt THINK of doing anything that would BREAK HER DADDYS HEART.

so, company goes to recruiter so they dont get 90000 applications from the dregs of society they dont have time to sift through. pay recruiter whose job it is to sift thru them. say just bring me somebody good.

i talk to recruiter, they mention the clients name and position. they never get back to me. 2-3 months later, i see a posting from the client, for that position, getting hundreds of applications within 1 day. i just dont know what conclusions to draw from this.

flip or flop with tarek and christina. i would bang the shit of his whore wife christina. my god. such a fake blond california uptalking vocal fry skank. but a high class high maintenance skank hahaha. and she looks great despite having 2 children.

i know she’s not really blond but she seems white. HE…..only people ive ever known named tarek or anything like it have been ARABS, and he looks pretty white. what is HE????

why is she race mixing with this arab? but he looks pretty white and their children look white!

tarek el moussa? that sounds REALLY arab.

maybe HES a MIX. his arab father banged a white race traitor slut hahahaha.

well, you cant call em TRAITORS when they never had any LOYALTY in the first place.

http://thearabdailynews.com/2016/01/14/flip-or-flop-hgtv-one-of-my-favorite-shows/

ok his father was moroccan. an arab. they say his mother appears on the show but WHAT IS SHE. i would not be surprised if she was white. do arab christians race mix more than arab muslims? i heard someone say two thirds of arabs are christians. this surprised me. i would have expected no more than one third.

there are a lot more christian arabs than muslim arabs in my area, but they still act arab as fook: obnoxious, loud, rude, macho, hot headed, haggling, semitic, swarthy, overbearing, close talkers, no sense of personal space hahaha.

how many times do i have to tell you im a racist? DEAL WITH IT (sunglasses deal with it.gif)

looking for a hitler deal with it gif, cant find

linkedin can suck my dick too. shitty social network. god damn that pulse of shitty articles. girls who code. code muh dick bitches. phaggy men whining our coding camp was 98% boys, this is unacceptable, we NEED TO DO SOMETHING ABOUT THIS CRISIS AND STOP OPPRESSING WIMMIN OUT OF STEM!!!!!

some phaggot cuck MAN saying this cringeworthy bullshit. yet he makes 70k a year as a senior whatever.

oh god now theres STEAM (not the omega virgin gayming thing) which is were Marxist Antiwhite Jooish “EDUCATORS” are trying to put “ARTS” into STEM.  put arts into stem. how degenerate can you get.

they poison everything they touch with this corruption and evil hahahaha

this is why you need to be confident and tough, because you need to be able to go out and DEAL with the real world, and not let it destroy you. be a happy warrior.

men and women are designed basically to get women pregnant as soon as possible (immed upon puberty at like age 14 or 15 or whatever) and as much as possible. that is why women act so stupid. just back in the good old days they had Responsible Adults to keep them in line. Physically Restrain them. NOW they are being REWARDED for being sluts.

men have always been “sluts” in that they will fook anything that moves. that has never changed. but women are quite like that too, in that they will be sluts to the top 10-20% of men. men, of course, will go MUCH lower, and accept the top 90% of women.

well, i kinda LIKE this “task view” and the option for adding more desktops that is available on win10.

task view is essentially an easily clickable type of alt+tab.

/r/theredpill. women are whores looking for both quick tingles as well as a meal ticket. you cant trust them. youre not SUPPOSED to trust them. YOURE NOT SUPPOSED TO TRUST THEM.

do you need to dress them in beekeeper suits like the mudslimes?

NO, but you SHOULD dress them modestly. no skin tight clothing. no excessive skin showing. no short shorts. no tight pants. no yoga pants. no tiny little tops with milkerz hanging out. nothing too tight. no whorejeans. you can wear dadjeans. you can wear pants. just not super tight, and with a VERY HIGH WAIST. like there was huge controversy when women stopped wearing skirts and dresses. i dont care, just dont wear tight revealing pants.

skirts and dress of course should be longer and not revealing.

and i like the idea of married women covering their hair in public. wearing a Shawl or a Scarf or something.

no beekeeper suits necessary. just DRESS MODESTLY. getting sneaky about those rules will get you punished hahaha.

punishment can mainly be spanking, then head shaving or some kind of public shaming, then tattooing, and maybe exile for the worst.

well im just a spanking fetishist you say. well, maybe i am, but I am very confident that it would be a very effective form of behavior modification hahahaha.

note: i have no desire to be spanked or god forbid DOMINATED or cucked myself!

i do luv the idea of spanking a misbehaving woman though! i would have liked to spank the shit out of that woman, and then we would go on to have a luving monog tradrel.

i think i ALWAYS had a good idea of How Women Were, I was just MAD about it, i didnt want to ACCEPT it, and i wasn’t MAN enough to DEAL with it, and I WANTED to delude myself, but I could never fully fool myself.

thursday night. gonna try some nyquil tonight i think. want to try it EARLY. like 6 or 630 at the latest.

ok took the nyqui at 5:15 pm. a 75% dose which is standard for me.

its perfectly fine to go for a nice relaxing walk AFTER taking nyquil. i basically use it as a SUBSTITUTE for smokin MJ. no joke.  its just nowhere near as good.

kinda funny to apply for 15 jobs at one hospital in the course of a month and not get an interview. i have sent the MOST applications to this damn hospital. not counting all the ones that came BEFORE the spreadsheet. Mst have applied to like 30 jobs in the past cople months at this one place and its ALWAYS a rejection letter. they do send rejection emails. i get them like clockwork for all the applications i submit to this place.

for a damn place that gives you a NICOTENE test.

ivanka trump? is she the one married to the joo? was she a huge slut before marrying the joo? he doesnt seem the type to RAISE SLUTS. the don that is.

peter thiel is a phag? and a christian? wtf?

indeed job alerts. POTENTIALLY one of the most useful features of any job search site, but there seems to be bugs here: alerts not showing up after you create them, the list being 3 pages, then 4 pages, then 5 pages, you cant find the alerts youre sure you made, it just seems really sketchy for a Big Name compay like indeed.

so I think this is a real PAIN POINT for them (hahahahaha) that they simply dont want to spend the money to fix, and will HIDE behind a wall of bullshit self serve support articles and just be like clear cache cookies, try another browser, reinstall browser, restart computer, and see if its fixed. no advice on what to do if its not.

THIS is what passes for tech support. its bullshit and insulting. and its not the level 1 idiots fault. its probably not even level 2 or level 3s fault. its the fault of quality assurance for letting this shitty quality persist, and the management for not giving them the time and money to fix these Known Issues. of course the USERS dont know that they are even KNown or not. but they HAVE to be. but are they? if the company wont listen to them or wont escalate cases?

i was very frustrated when people had legitimate concerns that didnt get investigated. i mean the whole system needed a REVOLUTION.

everyones like change change change. everything rapidly changes every day. dont you realize that this shows you DONT KNOW WHAT YOURE DOING???!?!?!?!?!?! IT LOOKS BAD TO EVERYONE.

just tell us what to say. something halfway decent. don’t make it our job to come up with a million excuses. if we’re supposed to come up with lame excuses, AT LEAST GIVE US THE EXCUSES!

really the truth is, most of the time, we cant afford to spend the time and money to do this. its just not serious enough. not urgent enough. you onyl get to see a doctor right now if youve been shot or stabbed and you are bleeding to death. if things are relatively STABLE, then they are good enough. and all customer service, despite phaggots like comcast saying shit like we care about our customers, its blatant lies, you lose even MORE respect for the company.

cuz customer service is nothing but a COST. i’m amazed they have customer service at ALL and arent like, welp you bought the product and gave us you money. ALL SALES FINAL. NO REFUNDS, NO EXCHANGES. NO SERVICE.

and that’s basically what a lot of customer service really IS!

JUST BE HONEST ABOUT IT!

but i know that will never happen.

women NEEEEEEEEEDDDD good fathers. a woman without a good father is a ruined woman. women are so irresponsible they will basically self destruct unless physically restrained.

so in other words, when you get involved with a woman without a good father, you are ASKING FOR TROUBLE. she might seem great for a while, but it is NOT going to end well.

all woman not having a good father might be THE biggest red flag there is, because it is the ROOT CAUSE of ALL of womens bad behavior.  sluttery, abortion, mudsharking, cheating, abandoning, irresponsible, immature.

a girl without a good father is a TICKING TIME BOMB.

just stay away from any woman who is not a raving fan of her own father. whos first words are not, he is AWESOME.

jobs that force you to ARGUE something that you dont believe in yourself. you’re agreeing with your opponent ie your customer, but you have to argue against them. how do you do this? do some real sneaky joo shit. how come they dont teach this in skool? joos run the skools hahaha. dont they WANT people to work and be tax livestock for them? doesnt that bring in more tax dollars than neets and dindus?

thats what i never understood. so you buy their votes. yeah not really. they are more likely to NOT VOTE AT ALL. and you are not making ANY MONEY off them.

if you really want to placate these people, give them MJ and pvssy. too many people like me and you have an OMEGA UPRISING!!!! hahaha jk. there will never be an omega or even beta uprising, but its a funny meme.

well, jobless thug ingras get plenty of MJ and pvssy. and the joos really do make those things readily available. by encouraging sluts to be slutty.

problem is, us omegas arent benefiting at all from all that cheap pvssy, we’re not seeing any of it, its just as hard for us to get as it was back when women were GOOD.

but it doesnt matter because we omegas will always be a tiny minority. there will never be an omega revolution. much better chance of a beta uprising. more betas out there than omegas. betas can be husbands and fathers. neets and virgins are definition omega.

omegas would LUV to be beta. shit. be nonvirgin, have wife and kid.

to an omega, beta is alpha!!!!!!!!

yep gotta luv the aphorisms. nyquil makes it difficutl to do coherent thoughts. just tired.

me posting on depression forums to my autist virgin early 20s buddy who cant get over his female friend from 5 years ago:
I understand your desire to contact the person. Thanks for sharing. Also good for not actually sending the message, I agree with others here that actually sending it would do more harm than good, and essentially be like pouring salt into the wound, torturing yourself. I have felt similarly though. I just wanted the other person to LISTEN to me, to hear my side of the story. I was willing to listen to them, how can they not be willing to listen to me, when I have so much I want to tell them. I was extremely angry and frustrated and confused at the unfairness of it all. Of course we all know life isn’t fair, but still it was extremely frustrating to be shut out by somebody when you have so much you want to tell them.

But ultimately, in the long run, I fully believe in the efficacy of no contact. It’s really been the only way I could ever “get over” anybody. Although it definitely been a struggle! I struggled SO many times with the temptation of, “If I just email her ONE more time, maybe she will understand, or at least listen to me, or respond to me, or help me get better closure.” When really my root desire was a hopeless hope that she would change her mind and decide to be with me.

Yeah, better communication on her part would have been nice, but I just know if she HAD responded, I would have found something else to obsess over, like “oh you still didn’t understand me completely. Let me write ANOTHER long email trying to explain this a little better.” Which would have turned into another pointless vicious circle.

For me it has finally been one full year of no contact and I can say I’ve made some progress, but I still think about her too much. I feel it will take at least two full years to “get over her” completely, but at least right now I can go through the motions of life and not feel completely destroyed and devasted, so I will take that as an improvement.

Five years is definitely rough. It’s hard to say what is “excessive” and what is normal here. Everybody takes different amounts of time to “get over someone.” I feel like I take longer, and that “normal” people get over people “too quickly.” I feel that when you have real feelings for someone and your heart is broken, it SHOULD take a long time to get over them. These feelings mean something, if not to them, then certainly to you! This is the power of love, in my opinion. It is not some trifling emotion that should be treated casually. It’s a big deal, in other words, and is always a long-term thing.

For me, I figured that around two years was my average. (for “getting over” someone.) So that has helped me manage my expectations and not get too worried when things seem to be moving “too slowly.”

But honestly I think five years is too long to suffer! So I definitely support you talking to a therapist if at all possible. I visit a therapist about once a month and it has been helpful putting things into perspective. Of course a huge part of depression is “cognitive distortions” where we essentially misinterpret things, put things through a very negative filter, and blow things out of proportion, and it’s definitely a struggle trying to fix that.

Also, I think that when you contacted her recently, that may have brought the pain right back to the forefront, and that contacting her again now would just be an even worse re-play of that situation, bringing even more pain back. It’s good to write the message, just don’t send it. I still do that sometimes. In the course of my regular journaling, I will feel the urge to say something to her, but knowing that I simply cannot, I address what I’m saying to her, and go on a rant. I am thankful for the sense of perspective that at least now I know that sending such a message to her would not do any good.

However, I should note that I did essentially tell her everything (or mostly everything) I wanted to tell her, in a series of long emails, that were probably regarded as creepy or pathetic or just too much, which I sent in a period of a month after our relationship ended. I am kind of glad I “got most of it out of my system” at that time…..but I still felt the urge to “scratch the itch” and get even MORE out of my system after that. Also, I have no proof that she even read those messages, let alone really understood them….and I would never get that confirmation for any future contact with her.

TL;DR: I’m glad I resisted the sometimes VERY STRONG temptation to contact her, because it would just re-awaken the pain. It really is like an addiction, as some people have mentioned, and it can be helpful to go “cold turkey.” However, it IS a very legitimate, valid, understandable desire to have the desire to be HEARD and listened to.

But that could also lead to the pitfall of, “OK, now you HEARD me, but did you really UNDERSTAND me,” and you can see how that would be a slippery slope of you being tempted to contact her again. It’s doubtful our unrequited love-recipients would ever truly be able to understand.

So yes I agree, no contact whatsoever is the best thing to do here. And this would include not looking for pictures or news about her on facebook/internet/anywhere. I deactivated my facebook and haven’t been on it in a year, and I don’t miss it. I deleted every bookmark related to her or her family, deleted every email I sent or received from her, essentially tried to delete her from my life. She had done the same thing to me, so I will just do likewise. I just wish I could have moved on from her as quickly as she moved on and forgot about me. But then I remember that love is a powerful force that shouldn’t be gotten over quickly or easily, and I respect the painful process.

We don’t do these things because they are easy, we do them because they are hard!!

I promised myself I would write a short post this time……

Good luck and good job on the no contact!!!! And keep doing what you can to find a good therapist. Even talking to them just once a month can be helpful. Also if you google “no contact” you will find a TON of information and stories on how it has helped people.

END POAST

i just did another post to my other forum buddie, a 31 year old autist virgin on a hopeless job search:
Thanks for the updates, even though it sounds like pretty bad news. 140 applicants for every job? That is interesting, I have asked myself that same question recently, and can’t find any conclusive answers. I do have an anecdote about an entry-level job in my area, paying $13 an hour, and had a well-written job description that painted the job as a good entry-level opportunity “for a college student”, and did not call for 5 years of specific experience, or was not a supervisor/manager job, and basically seemed like the perfect job for someone like me….and apparently many other people as well. The Indeed website shows how many people who have applied to a job (on some postings), and this one quickly received around 1000 applicants in under 48 hours of being posted. Of course, the stream of negative thoughts started immediately and automatically: “oh great, how am I going to beat out 999 other people.”

or, “It’s not good enough to be the top 1%. You have to be the top .01% to get anywhere in life and make $13 an hour.”

I just had my 10th interview of my current job search. All my interviews go “OK”. I don’t do BADLY, but I don’t WOW them with charismatic, electrifying confidence either. I am usually pretty nervous and end up talking too fast, and worry I sound like an “autist” or a “weirdo.” (No offense to people on the spectrum!!!! I am probably pretty close to it myself. I’m simply talking about how “normal” people perceive “awkward, anxious weirdos.”…..which is probably an unhealthy form of all-or-nothing thinking.)

Then I get angry, thinking people in 1980 didn’t go on 10-20 interviews to get one job, they didn’t send out 500-1000 applications, they “simply” finished high school and said “yep, I’m willing to work” and they got a job making average or nearly-average per capita income. (in the US, I believe this is around $28000, which I then translate to about $14 an hour. HOWEVER I am also deeply skeptical of job/employment/income statistics and how they are reported. But I can’t escape the need to measure myself against some sort of number!)

The best thing I did recently was I very reluctantly used savings to buy a modestly-priced suit, with matching jacket and pants, and had them altered to fit my weird-shaped body. Ultimately I was very happy with this decision, as it looks a LOT better than the mismatched, shabby jacket I was wearing previous. HOWEVER, I am VERY aware that this costly privilege is not available to all, but if you can scrape together ANY way to make it happen, I strongly suggest it. Especially if you have a weird-shaped body, short legs, etc, and can never find clothes that fit quite right. You will at least have a little confidence boost from dressing better for the interviews.

If you are at absolute rock bottom, you could probably get a staffing/recruiting agency to find you a job in some customer service or technical support call center. These places are revolving doors of lost, desperate souls. I was one of them once and I am trying not to become one again!

My current “Big Plan” is to try to get training in CNC Machining, which of course will involve agency, time, effort, and money. But in general I am a big fan of the skilled trades as opposed to just about anything else. This is coming from a college grad with a “useless degree” who has lost all faith in higher education (unless it’s in STEM.) Of course, higher education is all what you make of it, and I have long ago lost all faith in my own sense of power to make good things happen for myself! And I am bitter that “college/university SHOULDN’T be like that, because of the exorbitant financial cost! They really take their pound of flesh, isn’t that ENOUGH? But no, NOW you have to go broke AND show the initiative to be a real go-getter?”

anyway, that’s a bit of tangent. I just wanted to mention the idea of Skilled Trades Training in an attempt to get myself to do just this, and also solicit opinions of anyone out there who has hopefully good (but maybe bad!) stories to share about skilled trades training and how it worked / didn’t work in securing gainful employment.

But yeah it’s RIDICULOUS out there. I would just recommend setting small goals and taking baby steps. Even going to one interview is tough. I know you’ve mentioned possibly cancelling an interview because of anxiety / nervousness. I can definitely understand that! I just tell myself it’s NORMAL to be nervous for an interview. Then, of course, I criticize myself after the interview, like “jeez, they’ll never hire me, I was TOO NERVOUS and weird.” But the important part was that I went to the interview and survived. Recently I had an interview with a panel of five people and the whole thing lasted like 80 minutes. After a while, I stopped being nervous, and was like this is just absolutely RIDICULOUS. This is not an executive level job. These people all make a lot more money than this job is paying, and there’s five of them interviewing me for over an hour?!?!?!” and I almost had to laugh. I did not get the job, of course, hahahahahahaha.

There’s not really anything useful I can tell you. I am figuring I will have to survive through about 20 interviews before I get one job offer. So I have made it my goal to get those 20 interviews. It’s like the old saying of How do you eat an elephant? one bite at a time.

Anyway thanks for the update, and please feel free to come in here and vent anytime!

END POAST

not like i have any authority to help these people! but i think it’s good to treat yourself as nicely and as forgivingly, as gently, as caringly, as you treat other people who are in similar pain as you are. SO TREAT YOURSELF THE SAME WAY!!!!! TAKE YOUR OWN ADVICE!!!!!

ok got 5 shitty job apps done. my daily average is now up to 3.32 hahaha so high. this includes days off, interview days, etc. you have to understand, it takes time to find these jobs. you have to sift through tons of jobs to find the 1% you are both qualified for and which you think you could do without K’ing yourself and which pay more than minimum wage. as you can see, i have unreasonable expectations. high entitlement, hahaha.

shooter(s) in munich germany. oh lawd i hope they are mudslim isis refugees. hard to tell from the vidya. i see a whitish arm on this one shooter. 3 shooters. well gotta be isis then.

david duke running for us senate….hey now! i am in full support of this. i would not trust duke with muh wife or daughter, but he has a great pro-white message and he is def the most well-known huhwhyte nationalist and him running for office is a pretty big deal.

i mean shit there is a huhwhyte nationalist political party but nobody cares about it. like any of the other 6000000 little parties in the US that never win anything EVER.

not so dear person:

come on. you always would talk shit about your horrible former friend, who became a crazy alcoholic. bipolar borderline alcoholic that would rather go on disability than work, and then continue drinking, and would cheat on her fiance who she pretends to luv, and he is a loser too, with his job at lame retail store. like you can get anywhere in life working at this lame retail mall store!

well what do you think of me now, who cant get a job anywhere, and now you are more successful than me, able to tough it out much better than me in our tough job and other tough jobs like it. now you are moving up while I am moving down. do you think i am a huge loser like him, like her? i remember when i used to be a good influence on you. you were right to cut those people out of your life. but at least you would respond to them when they would bitch at you when you refused to let them use you. couldnt you just respond to me? i wasnt trying to use or manipulate you! i just wanted to TALK about what was hapenign to our relationship. havent you ever had feelings for someone who didnt have feelings for you? how would you want them to dump you? would you want them to treat you like a monster for feelings you didnt choose to have?

sheeeeeeeit.

yeah i mean i would like to see DAVID DUKE FOR PRESIDENT.

I dont donate money to david duke because he’s a gambler hahahaha. But I have listened to hours of david duke and his message is on point. he is a very wise man. i even encouraged That Woman to listen to David Duke, he’s a good person to start with if you want to get an idea of the wild stuff I’m interested in.

I have donated money to TRS who technically had David Duke as a guest on fash the nation. didn’t they?

I GLADLY give MONEY to 1488 White Supremacists. I don’t know how much more clear I can be about this.

also today july 22, hit the Big 300 mark. the 300th job applied for of muh job search.

not exactly but close enough.

but i will be reduced to working at mall retail and being cheated on by a crazy alcoholic bitch hahaha.

so why was that woman friends with this girl to begin with?

because she’s passive and lonely and will take whatever friends she can get.

but she can still recognize bad influences and get them out of her life, rather than be dragged down by them.

and i hate being one of those types of peopel.

but i WASNT.

but that’s how she treated me.

but I WASNT. she just treated me that way because she didnt know what else to do. just ran away. not an uncommon response. i have run away from responsibility too. MANY times.

but yeah its a mindfook and a soulfook. i mean i USED to be a bad influence but i dont think i am any more. plus this girl just sounded obnoxious. like a total USER, like do this thing for me or were not friends anymore btich.

i would never do that to somebody. all i wanted was to TALK.

well, i wanted her to BE WITH me. but i didnt expect it. i didnt feel entitled to it. I knew it wasnt gonna happen.

breaking up is hard to do hahahaha. what are the best practices. if i ever get in another rel again, and i cant imagine ever having that connection with a person again, and say she wants to dump me, i will say BABY we are going to the THERAPIST so you can dump me the RIGHT way.

people need OUTSIDE HELP in dumping people the RIGHT way.

do they REALLY though? well, SHE sure did! a good father would have been good enough to teach her.

don’t blame her, blame her FATHER. so she wasnt a crazy slut like most fatherless girls. BELIEVE ME, her fatherlessness was something i took notice of IMMEDIATELY upon meeting her. yep, shes got no real father, watch OUT for this gurl, she’s PROBABLY a crazy slut. then i found out she really WASNT.

but her fatherlessness found different, more unexpected ways to express itself. namely, unable to deal with conflict and responsibility.

gunman shot himself. kind of a white thing to do. oh god i hope its not a right wing nationalist white guy. some racist who hates all the migrants.  only solution is to bring in more migrants! BAD germany!

neo nazi BOOTS?? wtf are you talking about?

sheeeeeit i would like to get some neo nazi boots, because my enemies already consider me a nazi, and i would probably vote for hitler anyway hahahaha. the older i get, the more i like hitler hahaha. uncle adi.

germany is FINISHED. its SAD. I dont want germany to be finished. to fall to the damn isis caliphate hehehehe.

well a country like poland will be much stronger I think. poland is not sick and dying like germany is. although they are less “wealthy”. and people in the UK HATE poles because poles are like mexicans to them, flooding into the UK and taking jobs and not speaking english. and of course i dont like seeing whites turned against whites like this. well the brexit might help with this. i mean poles can always go to france and germany. im sure they do. ideally i would make poland great again. i LUV poland, always will.

they are gonna be like, look at these crazy gun toting white racists hating other races. welcome mohammed, fook my wife and daughter please, white man go bye bye now, we’re so evil, we dont deserve to live, the world is better without whites, i cant wait until we are all one big brown mud race.

is there some way you can PAY to find the best job postings? i dont mean the ladders.com. i mean just good solid entry level 13 dollar an hour jobs that arent total bullshit and lies. that go to real actual decent average entry level jobs. there is a theory that many job postings arent even REAL, its just a SHOW to make the economy LOOK better than it actually is. smoke and mirrors. keep the unemployed from revolting.

but they’re more likely to just stop job searching and K themselves than revolt!

leave the labor force. then they dont get counted at all. which is stupid. you SHOULD count the discouraged workers/job seekers cuz it measures a very important thing.

you literally do not COUNT as unemployed if you STOP SEARCHING for a job. become a NEET.

GAS THE NORMIES NEET UPRISING NOW

hahahaha

im no prize pig myself, but these damn women act like the worst bratty CHILDREN. assuming children could fook guys and be sluts.

i’m pretty BAD, but I’m still better than these women!

They LIKE the “Drama”! where drama just means them being horrible slutty brats and breaking hearts and lying and cheating! they LIKE doing this SINFUL business! They LOVE SIN!

Like da joos, because they love sin, they are satan’s representatives on earth hahaha.

but hey, i used to love sin and degeneracy too. until i was like 26 years old.  therefore, i can’t expect any woman under 26 to be any different.

i cant believe it took me so long to wake up. but at least i did. some people are still asleep during their 30s. at least i was a few solid years before 30.

sheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeit.

not so dear women: you’re NOT ALLOWED to treat sex as casually as you think All Men treat it, because you can get pregnant from sex! MEN CANT!!!!!! It doesnt matter that you can just get an abortion! The issue is what your BODY is CAPABLE of! Your body CAN get pregnant! No man in the history of the world has EVER gotten pregnant!

MEN CAN”T GET PREGNANT! ONLY WOMEN CAN GET PREGNANT!

therefore, women HAVE to be more CAREFUL about sex!

YOURE WELCOME.

are all women so stupish or whorish that I NEED to mansplain such basic stuff to them.

GOD I HOPE NOT. I hope this is just a projection of my anger at HER, angry that shes out fooking guys rather than responding to me. you can fook 60000000 black guys, just respond to me . just dont treat me like a piece of GARBAGE when we were REAL friends.

This is what One Year of Getting Over It looks like hahahahaha. One Year of no contact.

it takes two years i reckon.

like a damn jail sentence. just take it one day at a time and in two years i will be finally free at last, free at last. and thankfully, unlike prison, i dont get assraped every day.

o shit why havent i been looking at CRAIGSLIST for jobs?

hey there is some promising stuff here.

but it is just weird how they DONT EVEN MENTION THE NAME OF THE COMPANY. that always bugs more. that bugs me MORE than not listing a salary range. WHY CANT YOU JUST SAY THE NAME OF YOUR COMPANY? it just seems shady as fook. they do tell you the name of the city though. oh thank you master.

sheeeeeit. 7 applications today.

you think i dont realize that adult grown up mature rels are a ALOT OF WORK? takes a lot of EFFORT to get through the good times and bad? of COURSE i realize this!

and it sucks when someone wants to give up on you, and you want to FIGHT to keep them. you wish they were willing to fight for the rel too. but they just dont luv you any more. if they ever did hahahahaha.

not only do you need to be willing to fight……but BOTH of you need to be willing to fight! DAMN!

found some guy selling MJ on craigslist.  probably not a good idea hahaha.

found a tranny skank in my town saying he/she wanted a random hot guy to piss down their throat. i can suk u off afterwards too if you want. and then showing photos of the tranny skank dressed in womens underwear and bending over. jeeeezum crow. WHAT A WORLD.

going on craigslist looking for STRANGE MEN to piss in your mouth FOR FREE, because that gets you off so much, because youre THAT fooked up.

do these people get any responses? I would like to do a documentary on these people. the desperate loser men who say HELL YEAH SIGN ME UP FOR THAT! and then document both ends of the degenerate, desperate, disgusting transaction.

maybe that woman does stuff like this hahahahaha because she has no father.

noooo there are barely any “w4m” casual encounters…..AS IT SHOULD BE.

my FAITH IN HUMANITY was AFFIRMED to see the tiny number of w4m listings. amazing that WOMEN on CRAIGSLIST could boost my confidence in human decency!

 

 

WOMEN DONT STOP BEING CHILDREN UNTIL THEY HAVE CHILDREN

july 15

347 people have applied in 18 hours since first posting for an “ENTRY LEVEL OFFICE CLERK” job with a trucking company. i saw the posting and said, wow, grade 8, this looks very good For Me, and then at the bottom it said that 347 people had applied. meaning that there are 347 Unemployed Job Seekers like me who have indeed open ALL DAY and are hitting refresh every couple minutes. this is how you spot jobs BEFORE the daily emails, folks. and 347 other desperate people are out there in my area competing for ONE job that pays THIRTEEN dollars an hour. they were honest enough to say that. good for them. most companies arent. the number was not low enough to dissuade THREE HUNDRED and FORTY SEVEN people from applying in a mere EIGHTEEN HOURS of being posted.

MOTHER FOOKER. I applied for this job a few days ago that I rated grade A, and I forgot to change one of the company names in the cover letter from the name of the company I had applied to BEFORE that.

my only saving grace is, the cover letter is kinda long and they might have stopped reading after the first paragraph.

oh shit i think this 347 job is a division of this other trucking company that has a very bad reputation and which i decided was not a good company to wrk for hahaha because they cut corners, gave shoddy service, and were generally very semitic in their operations. like having 6000000 diff company names in a holding company so you dont even know its the same company, the same hand rubbing J who owns it all. he’s not even a J, he’s an arab hahahahahahahahahaha. i did muh due dilegence.

anyway they can get 347 people without using a recruiter.

but this is the bottom of the barrel! people who will apply to everything and anything! they need a recruiter to actually READ those 347 resumes and be able to separate the good from the bad and really ACQUIRE the TALENT!!!!!

and offer them a 17 dollar an hour job sight unseen by the company, with no official interview. WTF.

heh. just to reiterate, there is no recruiter at work here, and the job is 13 hourly. just 347 in 18 hours applying to work at a company notorious for shitty service.

sheeeit.

ok so i went to burlington coat factory, their selection was not as good as jcpenney, but a little cheaper, and found a real nice gray jacket in the clearance section. once i found a decent coat, it was hard not to buy the pants of the exact same color. so i did. i tried to find the most average gray color i could find, so it could match well with other pants. this is the problem with the blue thing i got at jcpenney. i liked the blue color, but its gonna be real hard to match with other pants if needed.  REAL hard.

so now I essentially have TWO brand new suits hahahahah. a blue one and a gray one.

wonder if i should have just gone to mens wearhouse to one of there BOGO sales and buy a 400 dollar suit. lets just say i spent around 440 dollars. that includes two full suits with alterations done on the pants and jacket. also includes 2 new dress shirts, 2 new ties, and a new belt. 440 dollars. US dollars. damn. is it worth it? fam said they would pay half. which is nice of them. I appreciate it.

but the good news is, i have two brand new matching suits that fit well. hopefully this will last me at least 440 days hahahaha.

2 years.

the blue one is “slim” fitting while the gray one is “traditional/classic” fitting. which resulted in a coat size that differed by 4. that seemed like a lot. so I still dont know my official coat size. its within 2 up or down hahaha.

i tried a different tailor today. they were pretty expensive. i wont be going back there. I really like the idea of tailoring because my waist is an inbetween size, and my legs are short and stumpy as fook. really the legs are the issue. i essentially would need to get EVERY pair of pants TAILORED for my short fooking manlet legs.

I should REALLY learn how to do it myself!!!!!!!

burlington coat factory was full of blacks and loud arab women hahahahaha. we dont get a lot of mexican Steezers or Southeast Asian Zipperheads or Flips like they do in some areas, but we DO get a lot of arabs hahahaha.

why are there long lines at retail checkouts? BECAUSE IT COSTS TOO MUCH TO OPEN ANOTHER REGISTER.

so whenever you complain about the line being too long anywhere, why don’t they open another register…….

have you ever worked a day in your life???

you don’t simply open another register! that would IMPLY that you have some EXTRA person twiddling their thumbs somewhere in your store! that would IMPLY you have TOO MANY PEOPLE working!!! that would IMPLY you don’t have a Skeleton Crew every second of every shift!

so never get mad or impatient when you have to wait in line, and for damn sure don’t get bitchy at the poor lost soul making 8 dollars an hour at the cash register. I will find you. AND I WILL ____ YOU. hahahahahaha.

I guess I really do have the heart of a LABOR ACTIVIST amirite.

the ETERNAL STRUGGLE of LABOR VS MANAGEMENT.

LABOR VS CAPITALISTS.

PROLES VS BOURGE VS SUPERRICH PLUTOCRATS hahaha.

justcallthemj00s.wav hahahahaha

i am SUBPROLE though, I have to compete against 350 other….

checking the posting now….

460 people in 23 hours!!!!! 20 people per hour!

this must be the most attractively written job posting ever. how the hell can I show you this job desription without DOXING myself. I CANT. theres just no way. it’s basically a 13 dollar an hour job that is openly listed as Entry Level, and Great for College Students, rather than some job that calls for 5 years of experience, supervisory, and lists 6000000 things that you have no idea what they are. just a basic bitch entry level job, no ridiculous experience required. says nothing about HAVING a college degree. just that Current College Students are encouraged to apply. implying, you don’t NEED to have a College Degree.

for THIRTEEN dollars an hour. and those fast food ingras are bitching about FIFTEEN dollars an hour.

the AVERAGE per capita income in the us is 28k a year. this is approx FOURTEEN dollars an hour. THAT is my goal. but I will take THIRTEEN. FIFTEEN is just fooking GREEDY IMHO.

I applied for the job already when it was at 350. now, like FIVE hours later, its at 460.

this was just an eye opener folks. I’ve never seen so high a number, and in such a short amount of time.

why didnt they just close it at 100?

when are they going to close it?

how do they have time to look at 500 resumes? 1000 resumes? they DONT!!!!

back in the good old days, you didnt have to compete with 500 people for an entry-level job that paid slightly below average.

being AVERAGE wasnt such a god damn STRUGGLE!

the only entry level jobs are fooking call centers, part time, restaurants, retail.

i had a job when i was 16, but it was easy and stressless, even though it was low paying. now i kinda wish I had a REAL shitty job: low paying AND high stress. like a restaurant. when I was 16. learned how to deal with bitch f4ggot asshole customers from a very young age. now i just can barely handle it.

http://www.themodestman.com/how-to-hem-dress-pants/

hehehehe a site for SHORT men. their euphemism of choice is the MODEST man. MODEST = MANLET. that is hilarious.

http://www.manmadediy.com/users/dan_e_t/posts/2630-the-diy-tailor-how-to-hem-dress-pants-like-a-pro

http://www.themodestman.com/the-1-most-important-fashion-tip-for-short-men/

http://www.themodestman.com/100-famous-short-men/

lotta J’s on that list hahahaha. I am not a J I swear, I am just short as fook. 5 7 on a tall day. yet I like tall women. damn.

how many “amicable” divorces are there? how come men get so screwed? why do they wives HAVE to take SO MUCH, why do they HAVE to take the kids and move 3000 miles away?

they don’t HAVE to do this! Why can’t they just say, LISTEN, I’m not trying to scam you, I don’t want any money, and it’s only fair that we have 50 50 custody, and I don’t WANT an alimony, I just want out of this marriage, but I don’t want to SCREW or SCAM you either.

why do they HAVE to take the mentality of I’m gonna bleed this sucker dry?

why do they have to hate him and want such REVENGE on him? when he is begging to Work on the Marriage and saying please dont leave me? give him the GOOD WILL of NOT trying to SHAKE HIM DOWN! talk about insult to injury!!!!

why are women so evil that they always have to add insult to injury? Can’t they just injure without insult? especially when that insult is so big and long term that it ends up being another damn injury?

I have a ridiculous idealized view of women, that women cant possibly live up to…….

………..but I STILL think they can do a LITTLE better. just do a LITTLE better.

you dont have to be some pure virgin, you don’t have to be with less than 5 guys, you dont have to have neer banged a black guy, you dont have to have 0 abortions, you dont have to have never cheated……but just  TRY a LITTLE harder. Don’t be a TOTAL piece of SHIT. Don’t add insult to injury. make a LITTLE effort. make a 1% effort. effort means a lot. rather than being a piece of shit and wanting to be WORSHIPPED for it. nope. i wont do it hahahaha. i will loudly denounce it.

80 people dead in nice france. come on folks. this sort of stuff didnt happen 20 years ago. at this regularity, at this magnitude.

another thing. when you are FOREVERALONE, you don’t develop NORMAL INTERESTS. your main interests are why gurls don’t like you, what is wrong with gurls, what is wrong with YOU, why are you so weak, women are bitches, and these WEIRD, BAD interests take precedence over NORMAL good interests like Career, Education, Sports, Exercise, Family, Friends, Religion, being a good person, books, even vidya games.

so you have nothing to talk about with women. “hey baby, want to talk about how fooked up women are? how you are all INFANTS who aren’t capable of a decent relationship and you need to be trained like animals? also want to talk about how weird and creepy and fooked up and omega I am, and my self loathing and inferiority?”

see, it becomes impossible to have a normal conversation with a woman, or even a man really. the only people you can talk to are people on your despair forums, people on your woman hating forums, people on your racist forums hahahahaha. and the racists are really too much of WINNERS to accept a loser like you into their winner normie group! they have good jobs and good women.

up to 509 applicants in 1 day. i am keeping that tab open for a few days. this is AMAZING. and not in a good way.

this is not a national thing. it is just a god damn entry level full time 13 dollars an hour job that does not demand a degree and is suitable for a 18 to 22 year old who just wants to work and make a modest, slightly below average living. but I guarantee there are people from a 50 mile radius, with masters degrees and 20 years of experience, applying for it. so many desperate people out there. i am one of them. fortunately I am quite below average when it comes to desperation! I have a safety net! most desperate people do NOT.

pokemon. shit. i am amazed at how HUGE of a thing this has become in one lousy week. how are there SO MANY early adopters? there has to be a business lesson here. I’ve never seen something become SO successful, SO quickly. if i had a Smart Phone, I would probably check it out. and want a nice cuddly waifu to play pokemon with hahaha. one with n < 10.

all the women I’ve even been interested in….have all been fairly attractive. there have been no uglies or fatties. no 5/10’s. shit was any of them even a 6? not really. they were all 7 at least. 7s and 8s.

I am simply not man enough to pull 7s and 8s. I need to aim for 6s and more likely 5s.

but ive never been interested in or attracted to 5s or 6s.

and quite honestly no 5s or 6s have ever been interested in ME!

some women haters say women are literally good for nothing but secs.

I disagree with this wholeheartedly. Women haters like ME KNOW that women are good for other things, namely, that warm fuzzy feeling when a gurl you like is VERY NICE to you. I’m not even sure what to call it. Nice. Pleasant. Not being a huge bitch. When a woman is very nice to you, it also feels good, like sticking your dick in a bitchs mouth or cvnt hahahahahahahaha. IF IT FEELS GOOD, DO IT.

yes I AM being facetious.

but it DOES feel good when a woman is Super Nice to you. Even a Nice Guy likes it when people are NICE to him.

but yeah. im still a total women hater, but I CAN appreciate other things women do other than secs, so I just wanted to white knight for a second and say that when women are not total bitches, that is a many splendored thing hahaha.

but yeah. how can an ADULT have a proper relationship with a CHILD?

Are we really expecting TOO MUCH out of women? like expecting a dog NOT to eat a steak you leave lying out? you can’t expect a woman NOT to destroy the hearts that are offered to her?

well, theres a HUGE difference between leaving food out, and choosing to offer your heart to another person!!!!!!!

meaning, leaving the steak out is just an accident, and not a huge deal. but offering your heart is a long term, VERY premeditated, VERY intentional thing, that you dont do accidentally, in other words.

also, a dog eating food? not a big deal and an understandable reflex. it’s not a destructive antisocial thing. destroying a heart is. there’s many valid reasons to eat food. there’s no valid reasons to destroy a heart. unless they are trying to get REVENGE for some perceived wrong. and they always view themselves as a fooking victim. they are too childish to understand or especially ADMIT WHEN THEY ARE WRONG.

So again, how can an adult have a real relationship with a CHILD?

well, that’s just the way the relationship WORKS until the man gets a few BABIES out of that woman. A man becomes an adult without having children. a woman NEEDS to have children to become an adult.

WOMEN DONT STOP BEING CHILDREN UNTIL THEY HAVE CHILDREN. 

i mean SHIT. even an untrained dog wont necessarily ATTACK everything it can reach.

and you can certainly train a dog not to attack everything.

so women are essentially like savage pitbull dogs that are fooking DANGEROUS because they aggressively attack everything. and then their white trash stupid owners get assmad when respectable people look down on pitbulls. because they are aggressive hostile ingra dogs, that’s why.

no white person, even a woman, is destined by nature that they HAVE to act like a savage ingra. NOPE. I just won’t accept that.

536 people, 1 day.

whos gonna LOOK at 540 resumes for a 13 DAH job?

WHEN are they gonna pull the posting? 600 people? why dont they do it right now?

hahahaha glad I got in when it was only 360 or so, hahahahahaha. and by then the job had been open for 18 hours.

the idea that getting an email update “within 24 hours” is NOT GOOD ENOUGH because within 24 hours, FIVE HUNDRED people have already applied!

makes you feel bad about skipping a day looking at the indeed list. for not refreshing the list at least twice a day.

military coup in turkey? is that good or bad? was thinking a military coup in the US might be a good thing. but how trustworthy is our military leadership? dont know. I generally have a good opinion of the rank and file. if they ran the show i would be all in favor of a military coup. martial fascist law.  but not sure about the top brass.

heh jim on fatherland sperged out on the idea of miltary wives being huge sluts and cheating while the husbands are deployed. i agreed with jim but he gave it a great perspective: these women are TRAITORS because they are directly hurting our MILITARY. our SOLDIERS. the people who protect our nation. and these women are tearing their hearts out. so they are TRAITORS to our COUNTRY, this is TREASON or SEDITION and must be punishable by DEATH. HANG them.

and I thought yeah I am ok with that too! good call jim!

now if not military, well, its still a BETRAYAL, they are still a KIND of traitor, and should be punished by public head-shaving at LEAST, plus a 10000 dollar fine to their husband.

NOT a divorce where she gets an alimony and custody of the kids.

public headshaving, 10000 dollar fine to the husband. for a start.

ok how about 6000. but at LEAST 5000 dollars. I’m thinking I had at least 6000 dollars in expenses for muh DUI, with court, probation, lawyer, license reinstatement, restitutions, alcohol bracelet, GPS bracelet, several piss tests a week, several god damn breathalyzers a week, etc. it was like 6 or 7 grand all told.

so i think cheating is more serious a crime and you should get 7 or 8 grand fine at least.

and like i said, public headshaving. with a level 0 fookin buzzer.

so then cheaters will just wear wigs to hide their short hair right?

so when you are banging some slut, pull her hair to see if she’s wearing a wig! easy peasy! and if she is, you know she’s a cheater! recently! and that this is not wife material!

ideally, wife material would not be having secs with ANY man in the short term. PERIOD.

women are terrible because we are REWARDING BAD BEHAVIOR.  its simple conditioning and reinforcement.

we are rewarding bad behavior, so they behave badly.

we need to PUNISH bad behavior.

PUNISH bad behavior, REWARD good behavior, and then we will

MAKE WOMEN GOOD AGAIN 

hahahahaha.

but see, its not NORMAL to be “interested” in women in this way!!!! women should NOT be an interest of men IN THIS WAY, ie, a topic you spend a LOT of time thinking about How Women Work and how you can play their stupid game and win. you shouldnt even be THINKING about their stupid game, you should be thinking of how to WIN at your OWN game, ie, career, money, respect, power, status.

also women can’t understand men who have  been single for a year, let alone 2 years, 4 years, 8 years, foreveralone………because no woman has ever been Single for a YEAR. if they don’t have a long term rel, then they will CERTAINLY have short term rels and slut it up during that year.

but a man who has neither short nor long term rel for a YEAR. Women can’t relate to that at all. They’ve simply never done it. So don’t listen to their bullshit patronizing advice! they have NEVER been there, done that! they dont know what theyre talking about, period.

however the better ones will mean well. still doesnt mean they know what theyre talking about.

they might swear off having a boifran. “Im done with men. I dont want a relationship right now.” that means, I’m gonna be a SLUT and have casual secs and disgusting short term rels for at least a year, add another 5 men to my number in the course of a year.

so if a woman ever says that, “i just wanna be single for a while.” you might think OH, THATS GOOD. she treats relationships seriously, and just doesn’t want to jump into short term bullshit rels.

be very afraid, because that’s probably EXACTLY what she means. that’s code for PRECISELY I want to do nothing but bullshit casual short term rels and slut it up like a dirty slut.

so when she says that, you have to call and raise that bet, be like, what do you mean? no dating? no sex? that BETTER be what you mean, or else youre a SLUT! and I don’t reward sluts, I PUNISH them!

then dump dogshit all over their expensive slutty jeans and clothes. that’s probably the best way to punish sluts hahahaha. maybe put a dead PIG in their bed hahahahaha.

cuz i dont advocate violence against women, not even sluts. just saying known cheaters should have their heads shaved and they should be heavily fined. and cheating military wives should be hanged for being an enemy of the state.

oh tom petty why did you play at some j00ish plutocrats daughteres bat mitzvah. I dont CARE if he paid you a million shekels. (david brooks, not the jooish neocon “journalist” for the joo york slimes, but some j00ish new york stock broker).  you are better than that tom petty. at least I thought you were. playing private parties for a literally hand rubbing merchant.

i mean i would do it, because I need a million bucks more than tom petty does. and I would use the million on my white family. tom petty would just spend it on weed and banging half white sluts hahahahahaha.

it sucks that someone can write honest decent music and still be a degenerate in person.

well i hear tom petty is super laid back and nice.

sure because he is smoking weed all day like willie nelson.

ok i have no PROOF he is banging sluts or being a bad father. I hope he is not banging sluts and is being a good father.

anyway do you think WOMEN spend NEARLY as much time as forever alone men thinking and obsessing about relationships and relship partners, in their case, men?

do women in general spend as much time and energy thinking and worrying about men, as men do thinking about WOMEN?

I dont think so.

but this is normal and right and just, because women dont HAVE to, women are the CHOOSERS BECAUSE women get pregnant! so I can get butthurt about it!

I just want them to show more RESPONSIBILITY with their power. when you wield power with no responsibility, the people on the receiving end of that power lose all respect for you, hahahahahahahaha. your power SEEMS very illegitimate. even if it IS Biologically, Physically LEgitimate.

july 16

596 people. and i wasnt even in the first half of them! me! who has a Solid System with getting to new job postings FAST! well its not fast enough! what is THESE peoples systems then?

heh. i wish ann coulter had just gotten married when she was young and had a nice family. she is one of my top women and she still looks ok. but i dont like that she bangs black guys like a degenerate. that could just be a rumor though. she should have had a family starting when she was young. she was very hawt when she was young. i wonder how big of a SLUT she was at that time. probably much more than I would like.  but I like that she is so far right that she is almost alt right hahahaha. and she takes rightful pleasure in mocking and shaming The Regressive Left hehehe.

applied to another entry level office clerk position that only had 190 people apply in the first 24 hours hahahaha.

i figure my Impressive Packet will automatically put me in the top 20%.

not good enough.

ok, maybe even top 10%.

you think they are gonna interview 19 people? they will interview like 5 or 6 or 7. so you better be in the top 3 or 4% to get the interview, and the top  .5% to get the job.

meanwhile all through school, they tell you if you are in the top 20% you are awesome.

nope, they should tell you you are shit unless you are in the top .5%. POINT five percent. 5% is still shit.

The Real World is like a High Expectations Asian Father, when it comes to jobs and women. you better be in the top 0.5% or youre NOTHING. nobody. a damn failure. loser at life.

your reward for being in the top .2%? (1 out of 600 applicants for the other job) a job that pays somewhat below average.

i hope this pence vp pick does not cause the trumpenfuhrer to lose the election.

DONT TOUCH A DICK UNLESS YOU ARE PREPARED TO COMMIT TWO YEARS TO IT. 

that would be a great rule of thumb. technically the same goes for men touching cvnt, but I shouldnt even need to say this: women touching dick is pretty much the gatekeeper of men touching cvnt.

i was thinking maybe women could get TATTOOS that say “cheater” or “abandoner”. and it would be a crime for tattoo “artists” to remove those tattoos. tattoos themselves would be shamed, shunned, and disincentivized.

im not 100% about this pence. why do you even need a vice president hahahaha. just pick ann coulter for VP.

or how about nation of one, the cool marine alpha male father from the fatherland and trs. i heard rumors he was not 100% white but i would give him a pass if so.

so yeah tattoos and headshavings, monthly headshavings, for cheaters. and abandoners. and heavy fines. add it to their student loan debt hahahaha.

maybe this is just because I want to punish HER. she did something wrong, so she should be punished.

so what would be the best punishment for HER?

nothing violent of course.

really the only punishment I want for her is for her to meet me in a court of Relationship Law, a judge or jury to decide that she did something wrong, and then for her to feel bad about to it, own up to it, and express remorse for it. That would be enough for me. no tattoos, no headshaving, no fines. just meet me publicly, have both sides evaluated, listened, heard, understood, judged, and her to realize she did something wrong, and be truly sorry for it.

write me a 10 page letter OR pay me a 1000 dollar fine. I would probably give 900 back to her needy family.

its less of a felony and more of a misdemeanor.

village of jamel germany filled with 35 neonazis! i should move there.

why have i never listened to inquisition? they seem pretty good. but i had no idea how ridiculous the vocals were. i can tolerate it though. they have fast blast beats and seemingly interesting riffs. the jooish filth blog metalsucks also accuses them of being RACIST because of a story by an ex-racist with a swastika tattoo who said that when the inquisition guys saw his swastika tat a few years ago, they got really excited and interested.

however im not seeing a lot of talk about this in youtube comments, like oh these despicable phil anselmo like racists. 90% of the comments are about the ridiculous vocals but damn are those some sweet riffs and this kinda reminds me of immortal.

reminds you immortal in a good way, not a bad way.

so yeah. no headshaving, no abandoner tattoos. this is like third degree, accidental, mansluahgter type abandonment. first degree predmeditated abandonment would get a tattoo.

ANY kind of CHEATING is BETRAYAL and gets instant tattoo. and headshaving.

where would the tattoo go? probably just on the arm. I mean you could put it on the face. but if youre banging a girl, you will eventually see her ARM anyway. also it was good enough for joos in the campz to get tats on their ARM.

larping hahahaha.

her punishment is just to respond to me and apologize hahahaha. wow what a cruel and unusual punishment that is totally worse than the crime hahahaha.

so yeah. when women divorce men, why dont they ever try to do it respectfully or nicely? do they HAVE to do it as VINDICTIVELY as possible? it really makes women look evil and petty and horrible.

695 applicants, 1 day. 13 dollar an hour entry level job. damn.

how to be #1 out of 695.

ive always admitted when I was wrong! and felt really bad for it! shit ive thought I was wrong when I wasnt! blamed myself for things I didnt do! like blaming myself for making her dump me in such an incredible manner.

i guess punching out and continuing to work for a few hours unpaid is common. i am talking about people who actually punch a clock, like hourly, or people who need to be paid overtime, or are someone instructed to work less than 40 or 48 hours a week. well they still gotta get the work done. so they punch out and work off the clock to finish the stuff they have to do, or else their manager will fire them at will.

how come they didnt teach us this in high school or college hahahahaha.

or that you had to STUDY for your job and do HOMEWORK for it just like you did for school?

because every day on the job is like a Big Test, or a Big Sports Championship, and you have the knot of dread in your stomach, “I AM NOT READY FOR THIS. I AM NOT PREPARED FOR THIS.” and all you can do is try to survive one day at a time and then study during as much of your free time as possible. Come home, smoke a huge blunt to unwind for 30 minutes, then start STUDYING your job material until its time to go to bed.

NOBODY TOLD ME!!!!!

also that woman wouldnt study at all. she would just smoke weed and take care of her family hahahaha like a slacker deadbeat. and now she is getting ahead in the industry while I have fallen way behind. she has left me by the wayside. left me WAY behind. feels bad man hahaha.

DO NO HARM.

say the degenerate godless spiritual but not religious degenerates.

well what I hate is that women do SO MUCH HARM wihtout even realizing it, through their promiscuity, casual sex, cheating, abandonment, leaving people hanging, walking away from responsibilitiy, disappointment,  immaturity. that’s why I don’t like women: because they’ve dove ME a lot of harm and I don’t think they’ve shown enough remorse for it! You should feel bad for doing bad things! DO NO HARM!!!!

open relationships harm people! cheating harms people! breaking hearts is harmful and hurtful! that is why I dont like women!

and no, men should not do these things to women either.

but women control the supply of sex. men DO NOT. men are the demand for sex.

WOMEN ARE THE SUPPLY OF SEX, MEN ARE THE DEMAND. 

wow might be top 5% posts here. welp not good enough, you gotta be top 0.5%.

 

TOP 5% IS NOT GOOD ENOUGH, TOP 0.5% IS. 

i have always been an Aphorist hahahahaha.

 

What does IC stand for in context to software engineers and computer programmers?
Not referring to integrated circuits.
2 Answers
Nick Malik
Nick Malik, I’ve written over a half million lines of production code
Individual Contributor — a person who is not a manager, whose effort contributes to the value of the product or supporting processes.

thank you. IC was a bit tricky acronym to figure out. but i figured it out in 3 minutes. that woman would just ask a thirsty beta orbiter for help HELP ME hahahaha.

but I was a bad man who imposed on her while she was having a FAMILY CRISIS! how bad am I! I should get a tattoo that says selfish and insensitive and pushy and needy and clingy!

“you may also use this second follow-up to reinforce how you envision using your skills to solve a potential challenge you suspect — or even know — the company is facing. Keep this “solution” very brief (1-3 sentences). The power of this “future impact” proposal is to trigger a connection between your value proposition and their pain points.” quote from:

https://www.glassdoor.com/blog/follow-job-application/?ref=apply-email
are you fookin kidding me hahahaha.

MY VALUE PROPOSITION PROVIDES A COST EFFECTIVE SOLUTION TO YOUR PAIN POINTS.

jeeeeeeeezum crow!!!!

yes managers actually talk like that and that is why they are incompetent fooktards who should all be fired, and the people who actually do work should be promoted to supervisor. or maybe have rotating supervisors.

LABOR VS MANAGEMENT hahahaha. destroy capitalist greed hahahaha.

747 applicants now in 2 days of the post being up.

DO NO HARM??? BEing a lying, cheating, abandoning, irresponsible wh0re is HARMFUL to a lot of people, and to society in general!

Being so GOD DAMN IRRESPONSIBLE in RELATIONSHIPS causes a lot of broken hearts! and even ONE broken heart is a LOT of HARM!

DO NO HARM!!!!!

i know you didnt intend to cause the harm, and broken heart harm is pretty much inevitable and not really your fault per se. But you still have a responsibility to say AWWWW Im SORRY. I dont MEAN to break your heart! she didnt even do that!

didnt even SAY I didnt MEAN to break your heart! do THAT much at least!

ok ok i just like to rant about that all the time while I am applying for stupid jobs hahaha. managed to apply for 6 on a staurday. my average is at 12.1 minutes after 43 jobs on the spreadsheet.  the more total jobs, the more accurate that average is. right. looks like the average is gonna be UNDER 15 minutes. that is Better Than Projected hahahaha. That is GOOD news.

I’m pretty irresponsible but I DONT DRAG OTHER PEOPLE INTO IT. My irresponsibility hurts mainly myself. and prob muh fam hehehehe.

they say ann coulter is a man but I would still bang her, even if she’s banged 1000000 ingras. yes she does have a horse face, yes she is grotesquely skinny and possibly anorexic, yes she is 54 years old, but i would still bang her. she has legit very nice hair. very nice hair.

but when you are so irresponsible in relationships and breaking hearts LIKE  A BULL IN A CHINA SHOP….. doesnt mean you praise the bull, and damn sure doesn’t mean you have to like the bull. you take the bull out of the china shop because it just doesnt belong there!

women don’t BELONG in relationships? this sounds like mgtow robot womb robot waifu shit.

no its much more simple.

like i said before: INCENTIVIZE GOOD BEHAVIOR, DISINCENTIVIZE BAD BEHAVIOR.

REWARD THE GOOD, PUNISH THE BAD.

and women are so BAD in the current year because their BAD behavior has been rewarded so much. and not at all punished.

nobody makes them really understand that what they do is WRONG, irresponsible, and bad.

bull in a child shop. a 50 foot baby with a fooking machine gun. or a mario invincibility star that kills everything it touches. the day will come when nobody understands that reference.

up to 798 applicants in 2 days. i thought each job was only supposed to have 5 to 10 applicants. yeah maybe for senior level fookin analyst jobs. entry level average jobs have 800 applicants!

something is REALLY fishy with the way job statistics are measured and reported. this 5% unemployment rate is bullshit. the whole job statistics field is bullshit and lies. damned lies and statistics hahaha. no they didnt add 250000 jobs last month. they added a bunch of temporary 10 hour a week jobs paying 8 bucks an hour. THATS what they added. that is NOT a sign of a healthy economy or a healthy, good job market. its shitty.

listened to that inquisition. the drums kinda sounded like a machine. a good machine but a machine nonetheless. but i think its actually a real guy. i dunno. they have like 100000 albums, maybe i picked the wrong one. the one above, ominous something something. i thought that was their Breakout album though. who knows. id rather listen to immortal. and yeah truly those vocals are RIDICULOUS. i mean he can do whatever he wants, he’s the mastermind of the band, but….WHY? is this supposed to be “throat singing?” and I am pretty tolerant of weird vocals.

and even the “joys” of investigating new boring disappointing music is nothing compared to the joys of small talk about tv and cuddling with a Beloved Waifu.

i thought i hated small talk but with her i luved small talk. cuz it was just a way to spend time and bond and feel totally comfortable with her.

and i really dont hate small talk, even with men. i guess ive never been a HUGE hater of small talk. at worst I found it boring and pointless, but I always sort of understood the point. i didnt hate it with a passion, like AUTISTS, who cant understand it AT ALL and are ABSOLUTELY DISGUSTED by it.

so yeah I guess in general I don’t mind small talk, its just a way people can be FRIENDLY or at least POLITE to each other, at worst, and at best, like with her, it really helps build a connection and can lead to Warm Fuzzies.

took some nyquil BEFORE going for the walk. then went for 3.6 mile walk. i wanted to approximate the idea of smoking mj then going for a long walk, which was my real wish.

im just not GREAT at small talk so it makes me NERVOUS so thats the main reason I dont like it. but i can appreciate what it is and what its good for.

and with some people, like her, or muh close friends (which I don’t really have any anymore) i am VERY GOOD at small talk! but complete strangers, not really.

i dont really want any more acquaintances, i want more close friends, hahahaha. all the people who were once my close friends are not any more. some there has been mutual drift. others have pushed me away with their ridiculous behavior (although I have not Thrown Them Away and will still respond to them). and she was one of muh close friends once. i WISH we had just drifted away.  I WISH she had turned me off somehow. like would I have continued luving her if she became a ridiculous alcoholic for example. sure, id probably want to save her. whereas my male drunk friend, i’m not in LUV with him, and he’s been kinda hopeless for a while. just back and forth, up and down, rehab and back, and now its increasingly obvious he has no real desire to stop drinking. he is occasionally coerced and strongarmed by the people who care about him to get help, but you gotta have the desire within. he doesnt have it. i did. i honestly wanted to stop drinking, or i guess i did want TO drink any more, after the shame and punishment of the DUI. Sometimes now I think gee what if I could drink again, but I get over it pretty quickly. a LOT quickly than its taken to get over HER hahahaha.

 

DECENT PEOPLE HAVE REGRETS

may 12

muh d1ck sheeeeeeit smacks lips. bix nood mufugga. ayo hol up. hol up.

tick tock wagie! back to work! time is money! add value for the team! trim the fat! back to work! time is money! another day, another dollar! streamline your workflow so you can be more efficient and produce moar! theres always room for improvement! study other people and try to improve your workflow!

big interview with post office on monday. 4 days. they want me to bring social security card. they already had me do a drug test. so in other words, i have a pretty good chance (50 50 hahaha) of actually getting the JOB.

well I am not sure how much off the job studying I will have to do for Letter Carrier. not as much, hahahaha. who knows if there is even an intranet I can log into.

if i get mauled by pit bulls or something there is probably some waiver I sign saying the post office will not give me any money for that hahahaha.

i saw some stupid quote by willie nelson saying “99% of the worlds lovers are not with their first choice, thats why the jukebox plays” or something, meaning there is a super high demand for songs about not luving your luver I guess, or pining for your First Choice hahaha.  i generally like willie nelson but come on man thats degenerate. what are you really trying to say here, has the weed clouded your mind, probably.

my response is, dont date someone unless they are your first choice, its a lose lose situation, and its a j00ish thing to do to THEM.

whenever i have gotten feelz for a woman, they were always muh FIRST CHOICE. That Woman was my First Choice and I guess still is. so now I have been in luv with her since about october 2014 and just waiting for it to fooking die off already. i mean theres nothing to sustain it. but the memories and sorrow hahahaha.

hey they say dont settle for someone who makes you an option not a priority. well priority means first choice. option means second or third choice. nope. i wouldnt want to marry and i sure wouldnt want to have CHILDREN with a second or third choice. it seems super unfair to the poor children.  i would rather find other ways to support other white children. white orphans hahahaha. maybe adopt a white orphan hahaha. but thats hard to do.  thats why everybody adopts nonwhite babies. theres not a huge supply of adoptable white children.

yeah i mean i guess i would do the right thing and try to take good care of my children even if i had them with a third choice woman. maybe i could grow to not hate the woman hahahaha.

but i would rather i be in luv with the woman i create and raise new life with. than use the poor children to try to force me together with the unimpressive woman.

but luv itself is overrated. thats not how the real world works. you wait for luv, you wait forever.

well, i disagree. women have been in luv YOUNG, and I think they should marry these guys rather than say “im too young to get married. i havent experienced enough of the world.” is always code for i want to be a huge slut. run away from me. i will be a terrible wife and mother.

shit i would have gotten married at age 21 if the woman had any interest hahaha. of course she didnt, i never even dated or fooked her (woman1).

it was amazing that I developed feelings for other women. a miracle from god. youd think once you found the luv of your life, you’re not gonna find anyone again. but i sure did. turned out she wasnt the luv of my life hahaha.

but That Woman sure was! this one was different because……out of all the women I have luved, like maybe 6 of them, she was the ONLY one I had a Real Relationship with! so that was a big deal.

i mean i fooked a gurl once but we didn’t have a Real Relationship! thats what i mean by pseudodating.

and there was NOTHING “PSEUDO” about the Real True Actual Literal Relship I had with That Woman.

ok going to get oil change tomorrow. called the car place like a real man. actually a real man would change his own oil. i am unmanly because i have literally no interest in cars. no interest in sports. no interest in gadgets and tinkering and workshops and tools and stuff. the manliest thing is that I do like guns, but I dont really care about the technical shit, like check out my sig sauer .4839038u5 caliber hollow point bla bla bla with i dont even fookin know. I just want a standard handgun made in a white country like US or germany or sweden or russia hahahaha.

but i am too lazy to do all the paperwork. I mean I would sound like a weirdo if I went to the gun store to talk about guns. they’d be like, uhhhh you are not a gun guy. you want this gun so you can do something WEIRD with it. Im not selling you a gun. and id be like how is protecting the second amendment WEIRD mufugga. hahahaha. and they say its not, but YOURE being shifty and disingenuous. you Reek of Weird Vibes. DRIPPING with DESPERATION. give off a really weird vibe hahahaha.

that is another big self criticism. I see myself as Just Giving Off a REally Weird VIBE that people can’t explain, they just FEEL it and SENSE that I am Weird. Like I am Emitting an Aura. Reeking and Dripping with desperation and weirdness, like pigpen is reeking waves of dirt and dust and BO. and everybody perceives this. men, women, employers.

but its really not true 100%! when you get to know me you see i am not THAT weird!!!!!!!! I was actually able to become Close Friends with an Attractive Young woman for 2+ years! and she didnt think I was weird during that time.

I was fairly well liked at my normie job for a full year!

so yeah this self image of myself as a BIG WEIRDO has got to stop. but ive kinda ALWAYS thought of myself as a huge WEIRDO. so that is a problem. sets you back on your confidence haha.

MJ makes MOST people degens and is a net negative for them…..but not for me! Ima Special Snowflake!

so i  became aware of this youtube gurl over the past month or so, evalion. this adorably cute, marriageable young waifu type, who is talking some pretty hardcore 1488 anti j00ish stuff. i guess after the sinead “dumpster fire” I am a lot more suspicious about this sort of thing.

yes she is insanely cute and i prob would marry her hahahaha. i am a sucker for pale skin and long dark hair.

BUT she has no business wearing such revealing clothing! red flag #1!!!

and muh buddies on TRS say she is obviously batshit crazy, personality disorders, bipolar, borderline, hysterical, sineadlike.

also I just dont TRUST pretty young gurls who get involved in The Movement at this level as Content Creators. I worry it is just a trend for them. I hope she proves me wrong in 5 years. but even sinead just appeared out of nowhere less than a year ago. then they get 20000 subscribers really fast, then within 6 months do something really stupid. its like real life. you get with a qt young gurl, seems too good to be true, because it is, and then 3 months later, its over, and you are horribly disappointed, heartbroken, and angry.

I like and trust wife with a purpose because she is not so “extreme” and she has 5 fooking kids. that is 5  great bona fides for me!

like i say, i hope evalion proves me wrong, but young women appearing out of nowhere and making these kind of political statements…..are usually batshit crazy and prob will turn away from the movement within a year when they find the next edgy thing.

besides with trump and everything, the “alt right” is getting moar attention, such that your internet savvy leftist professional colleagues who read buzzfeed or whatever might have read a shitty article about “white supreemist richard spencer” or somethign.

like you dont just show up to something like this. its a JOURNEY that takes YEARS and you should be able to talk about that journey. otherwise you are probably just being brainwashed by your aryan warrior boifran. why dont you make some babies with him instead of making vidyas and showing Thirsty Betas your secsy white skin.

come on TRS forums some time, these guys will put you in your place baby hahahaha. then you will call them a bunch of virgin woman hating f4ggots hahaha. and then get into flat earth or mudsharking or passing out paper flyers to white hating leftists about white genocide hahaaha.

making white babies and being faithful wives is the most important way these women can really help the movement. not by being crazy attention seekers.

come back when you have 5 kids like wife with a purpose.

but yeah. how many guys you been with? any black guys? how many abortions you had? you gotta vet these female entryists the same way you would vet a potential wife. cuz this is important shit.

i mean if a woman is into “basic bitch” political stuff, thats less concerning. like if they have  trump hat or vote for trump. perfect. but a 1488 white nationalist gurl is just too risky. its like when i was YOUNG, i thought it would be AMAZING to have a qt gurlfran who liked METAL. now i realize how bad of an idea that would be. especially now since women are getting into metal as its getting more hip. so you get hipster sluts, crazy sluts. just give me a nonslut who doesnt listen to music at all.

NILE is a great death metal band and more importantly seem to be great people. karl sanders seems like the nicest, sweetest, chillest guy. they dont seem to do degenerate drugs or bang bitches. i think karl has a wife and kids. the most they do is smoke MJ and drink beer. they clearly have tons of fun on stage, as they should. not a bad job to have. being a huge moneymaking band, be beloved by critics and fans, never selling out. they are totally living the dream. i really wish I liked them more, but I have such a hard time with the clicky drums and “overproduction” and I have wished and wished that nile just had a more “underproduced, raw” sound on record.

maybe i just need to watch more live shows hahahaha. but its really hard to get a good sound there too.

I would be like guys lets go into the studio and record the whole album as live as possible, then we might touch it up a little to bring out the best sound possible.

full disclosure: i saw nile in 1999 when i was a young teen and they were a few years from their peak. this was between “catacombs” and “black seeds” and they were playing tiny clubs and making a name. it was on my short list of best ever shows. very memorable. everyone in the band was mingling with the crowd and all very friendly. that made a big impression on me. some of the crowd were not familiar with the band but we were. we were up near the front of the stage head banging like metal nerds. it was a tiny club, much smaller than in this video. we we pumped up and the band was pumped up and it was a great show. everyone in the band was super outgoing and friendly, including karl sanders, who kinda seemed like a big drunk slob, but I think he was just chilled out from smoking MJ and playing a ridiculous show. very tight. we bought some CDs and they autographed them. just a great show and a great memory for a young metal fan. we had no idea they would get so YUGE in metal, but they sure did.

and they seem just as honest and genuine and sincere and friendly, so thats good. but after 10 albums they have a reputation as being a bit “wanky” and cramming 9000000000000000000 riffs into a riff salad and fast for the sake of fast, and having a sense of hubris that they cant tell that their songwriting is suffering.

well i can’t say their songwriting IS suffering! indeed i found the catacombs album to be VERY challenging to my 16/17 year old mind, and I made such a conscious effort to wrap my mind around it…..which ultimately proved very rewarding. but yeah. i got the black seeds album but then got off the nile train after that hahaha and maybe that was a bit premature on my part, is all I’m saying.

just try to remember the friendly, great guys who are making this kind of overwhelming, dizzying, confusing music hahaha.

like if they had more slow riffs and slow songs like on their “festivals of atonement” EP. that was less of a “progressive, technical” album but it showed some very solid songwriting. was less confusing and overwhleming and riff cramming.

anyway those were more innocent times hahaha and the old nile concert was a nice memory there. a sense of connecting with the people who make the music. them being really down to earth people. non autistic non neets. bigass normies in the best possible way. regular nice people doing something really kewl.

who knows maybe maybe other bands are just as Nice People. but i used to go to a lot of concerts and that sense of connection was often not nearly as much bla bla bla

managers listen to your god damn employees.

heh i think at my last job the managers WERE very willing to listen to the employees….but those managers didnt have any power to do anything or change anything. the REALLY big decisions were made by the managers managers. and those people we didnt like.

it has just been a really stupid ridiuclous retarded, stupid, pointless, wasted 10 months and counting. quit your job and try to find a new job. good god. just because a personal relationship went bad. come on.

yeah well that personal relationship was a part of that stupid job too.

so yeah. never get involved with anybody who’s in your office/department. that you have to see every day in other words.

uhhh maybe this was all part of GODS PLAN to show me that that was not the Job Meant for Me, and she was not the woman meant for me hahaha.

i guess GOD meant for us to be Good Friends for a few years…..but he definitely did not intend for us to be anything more. UNFORTUNATELY FOR ME, hahahaha.

uhhh then whyd he give me those feelings for her then. havent I been TESTED enough? I mean all the TESTING has been feeling more like a PUNISHMENT, for a LONG time.

you know whats 90000000000000000000000 times more degen than homosex? the stuff that average women do. because its SO widespread, and people just take it as normal. its NORMAL for people to have secs with people theyve just met. its NORMAL for women to have 10+ number. homos are a tiny part of the population and its not gonna affect us, well except for women who hang out with homos and treat their degeneracy as normal hahaha. every woman has gay male friends. you dont know any gays? just ask your gurlfran, she probably knows several. and sees no problem with them fooking 9000000000 other gay guys. perfectly ok. fisting parties and such.

so what the hell is your gurlfran ok with???!?!?!?!?! if she thinks all that is ok?!?!?!?!

when your GF hangs out with degenerates and says, nope I dont have any problem with this! as long as its consenting adults.

your woman should have a stronger moral compass than that.

hehehe adding to my questionaire for prospective wife.txt file again. now there is a good 10000 word post!

i would say if you are going through a tough time, then become a degenerate MJ smoker for 3 to 6 months. just to build some more distance between you and the tough event. then detox for 3 months and PROBABLY your pain will be less severe. if not, try to get 3 months of SObriety in, then become a degen stoner again for 6 months. and then quit again. by this time you should notice a difference.

yeah at this point its like processing GRIEF that just wont go away. that lingers WAY too long.

but i mean some people just cant be replaced! I never treated people as replaceable! i just wanted her to show me that I was a little less replaceable!

I felt this feeling of replaceability as soon as I starting dating women in 2004 and getting really dumped haaha.

ok doing laundry. also getting dental teeth cleaning today. that could be horrendous. I have not been taking care of teeth.

but yeah cute young gurls should be makign their own youtube channels saying gas the k1kes race war now 1488. leave that to the men. its weird and off putting and a turn off when women do that. just say trump is kewl and I will encourage my friends to vote for him. and that is MORE than good enough.

a cute young gurl could easily influence the vote of her Thirsty Beta Orbiters! I’ll hang out for you if you vote for trump. or hillary. or ANYONE.

but would this really have a big effect on the ultimate results? it would probably be less than 1%.

but 1% is actually pretty big though.

but yeah. she was very irreplaceable for me. i cant jsut go out and get a new one. her being gone leaves a big void. very much like someone dying. you cant replace them, and their loss leaves a void.

so at this point i would start looking at the Grief literature.

well since i dont have any MJ I took a big honking half dose of nyquil. almost out of nyquil hahahaha.

will def get some moar soon. weird how nyquil seems to reach its expiration date so quickly.

THE CHADS THEY CHOOSE

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so more and more people are identifying as gay shit like demisexual and asexual and aromantic and many years ago before the younger millennial teenz got into this shit, i thought i might be asexual because i had no success with wimmin.

but no i am not asexual or aromantic cuz i do feel those feels.

however i feel the strongest and most profound feels for people i actually know, which techincally makes me a “DEMISEXUAL”, which i thought was so goddam weird that it required its own special term, for what in the 50s was considered normal, because NOWWWWW people just fook each other and throw them away, or they fall in luv for like 2 days and then its over.

a breakover is a breakup where you use the devastation to begin your life anew. gay author greg berhrendt advises a 60 day “HE-TOX” of NO CONTACT. see, NO CONTACT is obviously such a good idea, even stupid people recognize its value. well i have been like fookin 90 days of no contact bitches hahaha.

anyway i thought……

so she PUNISHED me for being COWARDLY and ANNOYING, by being so MEAN and HARSH and “nuclear.” that was my punishment for being weak and cowardly and annoying and pushy and afraid and omega and sissy.

i dont think its in proportion! sure what i did was not great, but it doesnt merit a punishment like that! thats like beating somebody to death for eating an extra cookie out of the cookie jar. thats like making somebody put 9000000000000000000000000000 dollars in the Swear Jar for saying Damn.  thats like raping your children 900000 times a day because they were 1 minute late once.

also…….. i have my sexist woman hating devils advocate in my mind, where if i were to say, the problem with the modern age, is people are treating sex as strictly recreational, rather than procreative, was my stupid evil internal woman could say…..THATS RELIGIOUS. IM NOT RELIGIOUS you shitlord, small minded sky fairy and such.

well YOUR BODY DOESNT CARE IF ITS RELIGIOUS OR NOT, shitloads of nonreligious women are getting pregnant hahhahahahaha.

anyway to assume Most Women would fail to grasp this super easy logical distinction is very sexist you shitlord hahahahaha. of course women know that nonreligous women can still get pregnant………..right?????

also, its NOT really a religious way of thinking.

well, its what you believe is the FIRST function of Sex.  and of course, in the modern age, “IT DEPENDS” onthe situation. if you are in your 20s and want to have fun with chads, then the first function is FUN. if you are 35 and are making 300k a year and have conquered the career world and now want to Start Settling down, then its first function is procreation hahahahahaha.

yeah its almost worse than a death. because the dead person returned your feelings. it was a good rel. here, the person ends the rel BECAUSE they dont share your feelings, and they are still out there Loving Other People and Loving Life, they just kicked you the fook out because you were good enough. very painful!

yes. def takes closer to 200 days than 100 days to Get Over Someone hahahaha. Really the only way to do it is to Not Contact Them until one day they become a Faded, Distant Memory. takes a damn long time.

as an unpopular outsider weirdo introvert male, it can be hard to relate to Women, because even the INtroverted OUtsider Women are, in a way, one of THEM, one of the popular Normies, because the nerdy women are still picking the Popular Normie Chads and the Alpha Males. the big winners who make 300k a year and have good careers. and then wonder why dont all guys make a lot of money. because they must be losers. or why arent all guys charming and fun and have a lot of friends and are popular. oh well they must just be losers.

Quiet Shy gurls end up becoming more normie and more chad because that is the kind of guys they Date IE Fook, make babies with.

so shy quiet guys might especially get demisexual feels for quiet shy gurls, but the quiet shy gurls still go for the popular normie alpha extravert chads. the popular kids in high school. the adult world is just like high school, just even worse hahahahahaha.

yeah i thought i might have had a CHANCE with that person, that she wasnt totally out of my league, but she also wasnt totally shitty either. like the only people in my league are gonna be undateable white trash who are batshit crazy, bipolar, borderline, sociopath, psychopath, ridiculous issues, abadoned by father, raped by stepfathers for years, raped by badboi boifrans, huge long slut phases, heavy drugs, cutting, go out partying with booze and drugs and get gangbanged, manny abortionz, taking the pill for years because casual sex can and does happen at any time, usually every time you go out to party; horrible tattoos, narcissist, etc. just bad news type women. this is the best i thought i could get.

so THAT PERSON had SOME issues but not a lot, not enough to be horrible. plus her issues were things beyond her control, just more or less a sad unfortunate life growing up, but she hadnt turned into a total mess. also i dont blame women for getting raped or molested, but unfort women who were raped or molested at a young age often turn out to be a huge mess later. thankfully she was not raped or molested. just abandoned hahahahaha. so she did not grow up to be a huge slut or partyer. but it did make her prone to being emotionally retarded and prone to abandoning other people. like me hahahaha.

ok need to call the dr, i am running out of MEDS hahahaha.

so women go CRAZY when chad or tyrone dumps them. they STALK them, they constantly stay in touch and try to manipulate him to get back together, they slut it up, and the media says now now. this is amusing and somewhat humorous but its not the best idea sweetie. meanwhile if a man does the same thing he is a sexist shitlord abuser rapist. well because men are higher up in the power hierarchy. the patriachy. when men do it, its punching down; when women do it, its punching up against the oppressor holding you down, thats WHY its ok for women and NOT OK for men.

well i went crazy but i never stalked her! and i went no contact and did not really try to manipulate her! well i sent emails begging her to respond to me and please try to End The Relationship Better. that was it.

ok called the dr. sort of sounded like an unemployable unmatable idiot, but not to many likes or ums or vocal fry hahahahahaha. they said they would call me back either way, and try to get the dr to rewrite the prescription, the person i talked to, The Front Desk Receptionist, was very good. took less than 2 miuntes and didnt even write out a script beforehand hahahaha.

what makes more sense, Getting Over It 1% per day, or less than that? like .5 percent a day? uh yeah methinks its closer to .5 . how about .25 hahahaha.

just ASSUME ONE YEAR. its gonna be rough for ONE FULL YEAR when you LOSE somebody THAT IMPORTANT to you.

what was my secret to becoming close to her? absolutely NOTHING. it was the EASIEST, most NATURAL thing in the world. there was no planning, no worrying, no manipulating, no scheming, no practicing, it just happened smoothly and naturally. she began working at my place of easy work in october 2012 or november; i had just gotten “dumped” by That Previous Woman; i was happy to just have a friendly woman i could talk to easily. we talked about music and news and conspiracies and i thought well she is a nice sweet gurl, kinda troubled, but very nice. and arent we all troubled in some way. we would go out to lunch or coffee and just talk and it was so fookin natural and easy. the only thing that wasnt easy was talking about her boifran, or me talking about my luv life, but everything else was smooth and easy. after a year or so of this, we were Friends, and she felt more comfortable talking about the probs with her Boifran. and i still didnt have feels for her cuz i had put her in that box of Unavailable, plus i was still kinda in that box too.

anyway we just CLICKED naturally and i was known as a shy and not super social person, and she was kinda the same way, but when we got together we talked like we had a real connection, and the managerz at our job tried to keep us apart so we didnt talk so much, they were surprised to see ME of all people turning into a chatty cathy.

me, a chatty cathy. who would have thunk it.

well i DO write like a chatty cathy hahaha. but i gotta find a SPECIAL person to be able to TALK to them like this, like i write. and she was that special person. its really not surprising AT ALL that i came to get feelings for her. she didnt have to be so god damn mad about it. its surprising it didnt happen SOONER. i probably could have trained myself to make them happen sooner, but i Respected Her Rel too much and didnt want to interfere with it. but as soon as it ended, I Began Thinking. Hmmm shes a quality gurl and I would be lucky to have a gurlfran like that.

alas it was not meant to me.

i watched this “documentary” on the band katatonia who i used to be really into, i was big into them in 2000-2004, when i was young, i was fully on board during the “last fair deal gone down” and “viva emptiness” days, muh two biggest albums for them. anyway the documentary was great but it was also amusing to see that these guys were also just big degenerate drunk normalfags, when i thought they were so different. they would go on tour and get raging drunk every night like 18 year olds. i guess i cant blame them! and its not really surprising. its just interesting to hear them tell the stories. also the fact that they had gurlfrans and jobs and babies. i kind of wanted them to be severely despairing losers. but no. they would just work their jobs, be in luv with their gurlfrans, have babies, make great music, get drunk, and never lose control of their lives. i really liked the singer because he seemed so grumpy and despairing. but hes just a nonvirgin normie like the rest. how did he keep his job at the post office with a bad attitude like that? how come i cant get a job at the post office hahahaha. also his bad attitude did not stop him from getting a gurlfran who loved him enough to have 2 babies with him; and to hold down a job; and to be super creative making great music. how the fook can i relate to this????!!?!?!?!?! it was easier when i was younger.

anyway they are still a great band, and this video is very fun to watch, and degenerate normie norvirgins or not, they are still well worth listening to, and can help you channel some good angst and despair.

“despair” carries some connotation of “worrying” as well. like its not a perfectly chill kind of despondency. you are still worried about something.

how do these drunk losers get a fulltime job at the post office? they cant be customer facing with a bad attitude like that! but ALL JOBS are customer facing ALL THE TIME. so how does he not get fired? and taking all the time off to go on tour? what kind of father is he to his children? what kind of husband is he to his wife? does he cheat on her? does she cheat on him? is she a piece of total trash? why did i ever look up to this guy? because when i was young and grumpy and troubled i felt he was a kindred spirit of myself. i mean i can totally still see it. but he loses some grumpy grouchy cred by being a winner in many ways, and also as an old man, i have much less tolerance for the degenerate booze soaked rock n roll lifestyle, with disgusting disease ridden groupie sluts.

normies gtfo reeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

or when gurls pretend like theyre socially awkward, you know whats socially AWKWARD, when  you havent made out or had secs with a woman for 10 years hahahahahaha.

secs is an inherently intimate act which they actively strip the intimacy away from; they actively cheapen it. well i guess so do the guys, the CHADS, they choose to have fun recreational nonintimate degraded degen secs with.

THE CHADS THEY CHOOSE.

I choo choo choose chad hahahahahahaha.

REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
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so yeah i cant convince myself that i didnt deserve the punishment i got. i try to, but i dont succeed. basically i tell myself, yep, what i did was REALLY THAT BAD. because women naturally hate cowards and pussies. always have, always will, thats the way nature made us. just like men dislike sluts.

yeah well i dont think its as Morally Repugnant for a Man to be a Coward, as it is for a woman to be a slut.

i mean its not great, but its not in the same ballpark of shamefulness imho.

a woman being a slut hurts other people.

a man being a coward hurts mainly just himself. well unless he is called upon to defend his wife and family but then runs away.

but he’s ALREADY MATED.

i guess you could say he’s a Deadbeat, Deadbeats are too COWARDLY to MAN UP and tkae the Responsibility of taking care of their kids. that would be the best example of cowardliness hurting someone else.

so a deadbeat dad is about as morally wrong as a slut.

ok fine i can get behind that.

but i dont think its necessarily COWARDICE, its more laziness or just not wanting to take on that extra work. not that theyre SCARED, they just dont WANT to.

but it might be too much to ask women to differentiate this.

Just as women dont like sluts because it means the kid might not be theirs, women dont like cowards or weaklings because they might be deadbeats and run off on their kids.

SO WHY THE FOOK DO YOU MATE WITH THEM? YOURE THE CHOOSER! WHY CHOOSE MEN WHO WOULD BE BAD FATHERS???!?!?!?!?!

I mean, compare Dreamy Steamy Chad Thundercock with The Cowardly Lion.

so i dont think its COWARDICE per se.

besides, dont you think the cowardly lion would make a MUCH better father than Chad Thundercock? who’s more likely to run off on their kids?

basically its Alpha Fooks, Beta Bucks.

but the betas gotta be alpha enough to MAKE that much money. making a lot of money is not easy! youd think it would go along with the same confidence and charisma; that this is attractive to employers the same way it is to women, and i think it is.

men dont choose women who would be bad mothers! (ie sluts)

i mean men dont really CHOOSE women anyway, but if they did, they wouldnt choose sluts!

and if the sluts get pregnant, the guy very understandably says SEE YA! i dont want to HAVE BABIES with you! you are no more LOYAL than a MERCENARY! how do i even know that kids even mine! go get an abortion bitch! i aint payin child support!

because he knows the slut isnt the type of woman he wants to be with long term.

heres a video with MAH BOY MW and the qt reactionary gurl TTWL on a google hangout. i dont trust qt gurls especially j00ish ones but yeah she could cure me of muh asexuality hahahahaha. i mean my white female friend was hotter, but TTWL could still get me to say yes to secs hahahahahahahaha even though i swore off of j00s. but i am not successful and confident enough to pull a young qt………..even if she is a nonwhite j00 hahahaha. shit i mean i thought j00ish gurls were supposed to be UGLY, like lena fatham hahahahaha. no not necessarily. but their leftish baby boomer j00ish mothers and cucked lapdog jewboy fathers tell them its ok to ride the chad carousel and get as manny abortionz as they want.

i was on my 5 mile walk and walking on the bike path portion and a jewish man rode his bike past me. i almost crapped my pants because jews dont live in my town. this is not a jew friendly town. i never met a jew until i went to a middle class jewniversity, and then i never met a jew again. jews simply do not exist in my world, except through the degeneracy they force down the goyims throats on the televitz talmudvision. so to see a real life actual jewish man in the wild was INSANE. i say he must have been jewish cuz he had those stringy things hanging out of his pants, i forgot what they were called, those jewish clothes. and he had a beard. maybe he was orthodox jew. that would make a lot more sense. cuz i think orthodox jews still live in Upper WOrking Class neighborhoods with goyim. i mean there isnt even a jewish community center within 20 miles. anyway i should have stopped him and treated him as a Jewish Information Desk where I was Entitled To Impose on him for Information and his Time hahahahahaha.

anyway its just stupid that my female friend will just give it up to anybody, quickly.

well what is my evidence of that.

even the short term boifran she had, i think she knew him for a while beforehand.

(maybe that was why i thought i could possibly “upgrade” from “friends” to “Something more”, because he certainly had!)

i would need to know how long she knew the FIrst Main BF before having S with HIM. it was probably a little while. cuz he was the first man she was ever with. i dunno i guess i could email him and ask him hahahahahaha.

i mean i never had a huge problem with HIM other than he oculd have treated her better, but i generally got along with him, and she was happy for him that i was being friendly with him, cuz she thought he needed more friends, because he was autistic and didnt ahve any friends.

so yeah i dont have any proof that she fooks guys quickly without knowing them.

when you have major Cognitive Distortions, you must QUESTION EVERYTHING that goes through your mind.

well what is the BENEFIT of holding that belief? well it would mean she is just a crazy whore and make it easier to blame her. also easier to hate her and distance myself from her.

what is the CONS of holding that belief: uhhhhh it might not be The Truth? because Muh Perfect Angel is not a crazy whore? well shes not my perfect angel either!

besides even if i think of her as a damn whore, its not like im shifting ALL the blame off of me. i will ALWAYS be aware of my participation here. namely, when i said damn and had to put 900000000000000000000000000 dollars in the swear jar. when i got caught doing a Rolling Stop, and got punished with The Electric Chair.

yeah i admit it. i said damn. i didnt stop fully at the stop sign. whoops i should have stopped at that yellow light instead of speeding up. so sorry.

“If you have anger issues how well do you really think you’ll do as a front line support tech?

If you have issues dealing with a particular sex how well do you think it will go when you are constantly in stressful environments with them?”

Eli the computer guy.

bbbbbut maybe i didnt do just a rolling stop. maybe i crushed a little old ladies head with a fire extinguisher and kicked puppies and clubbed seals and tore the head off a small child and sewed rabid rats into a womans pregnant stomach, and i thought all this was the moral equivalent of a rolling stop!

but do i really????!?!?!?!?!

is being A COWARDLY WIMP about saying “HAY I HAVE FEELINGS FOR YOU” the same as doing the ol 1984 burning rats chewing off your face in the rat cage face mask torture thing???? IS IT REALLY??!?!?!?!?! I dont think so!

ok time for another 7miler at the fatness hahahaha. and to pick up my meds. thankfull the dr refilled them for hopefully 3 more months. if they force me to go in after 3 months then i will ask to get it jacked up to 40 mg.

well SHE thought i was TORTURING her. so in a way it was like the Frenzied Rat Eating A Hole In Your Face or Stomach Torture. and i was the frenzied rat rather than the sadist applying the heat to the rat hahahahaha.

sometimes i think i should CONTACT not HER, but other people we both know, for example her x boifran, who i knew, or this woman we both know. and ask THEM to ask HER to please please please respond to me!

i dunno i gotta go.

EUTHANIZE, REPENT, AND REPEAT!!!

march 18

called the person i had to call, they were nice, i carried on the convo LIKE A BOSS, will go do my test TOMORROW, got get get a fresh cover letter done for then. nice. moving along nicely here.

heres a great tip. I went on youtube and searched mock interview and found the ones where the actually had a person answering the questions. I already KNOW the standard questions, I just can’t THINK like some HR retard and come up with the right answer, I really needed some help from a Normalfag, just show me the Correct NOrmalfag answers and I will memorize them, that’s all I want, I will copy the exact same thing the lady says about being a motivated self-starter who wants to be part of a winning team.

some of the other stuff was like oh make an effort to cover the trashy tattoos on your arms neck and face, and then tell us about yourself and why you’re a perfect fit. F00k you I don’t HAVE trash tattoos but I am certainly not a pefect fit for your stupid job, I just need a job to make money like EVERYONE needs a job to make money, tell me the right thing to say, and I’ll say it!!!!!!

but there is one vidya, an australian one where they interview a canadian woman for a Phone Sales job, that was actually VERY useful because it was like a recording of the ACTUAL interview, not idiot recruiters telling you How To Prepare. NO. I want to hear ACTUAL INTERVIEWS and use THOSE to prepare. and I strongly recommend you do the same.  Just copy from others. yes you can change a few words. but you won’t need to change many!

and then memorize it, rote memory, just like memorizing a prayer or whatever.

If you can actually think using that kind of reasoning, more power to you, normalfag. I am the best candidate for this job because I add value by providing maximum return on investment for the company while minimizing costs and working together as part of a winning team, and getting out in front of problems, to create lasting relationships with very satisfied clients, and adding value to this satisfaction.  in addition to facilitating an excellent client experience, I also share the values of this organization’s vision and mission. see how easy that is?????

If you are a loser slob like us, you probably just wear a loser hoodie and call that a coat or jacket. welp, you’ve also got to get TWO additional jackets on top of that hoodie: one, a heavy duty winter jacket WITH HOOD that can keep you warm on long powerwalks in the winter; two, a classy, Business Professional Peacoat or Dress Coat that you can wear to WORK or Job Interviews, so when you come in wearing your coat you don’t look like a Prole Loser Slob, hahahaha.

When you talk to Proles, talk like a Prole; when you talk to Posh Bourge Middle Class F4gg0ts, talk like one of those.

Be multilingual. Blend in, gain trust, curry favor. Proles say things like Aint and Mornin and Runnin and Goin and f00kin dont got no and yeah and awesome and curse like sailors and aren’t afraid to use sweet words like b1tch or g4y or f4gg0t or sperm burpin gutter slut. Middle Class F4gg0ts use words like certainly and yes and change agent and circle the wagons and meeting and growth driver and theoretically and for instance and hegemonic and ideology and lean in and safe space and interfacing and development and metrics.

If you have a Problem with One Drug, you will probably have a problem with ALL Drugs, unfortunately. I have decided never to drink alcohol again, yet I still think, OH YEAH, I can still smoke WEED then. NOPE. Because there was a time when I smoked too much WEED too, and tbh, weed has hurt me every bit as much as alcohol. in different ways of course. weed kept me from taking golden opportunities that were available at the time, and not work hard enough; alcohol was prob worse for my mental, physical and social health.

so now i could rationalize Weed because those opportunities I had when I was young I simply don’t have any more, so I don’t have anything to LOSE by smoking weed, in other words. like that rationalization?

Well, it is hard to argue with! It IS true!

other than smoking weed now would prevent me from getting a New Job, if I were to take action and hit the bricks and FIND that job, and INTERVIEW for it, and GET the job. And I guess it’s the same damn thing in Colorado where Weed is “Legal.” the employers are still all b1tches like that.

so where the hell do all these god damn pot smokers WORK????? To Ask The Question Is To Answer It!!!

So where do they get the money to buy the drugs? To Ask The Question Is To Answer It!!!!!!

what grinds my gears about this catholic religion perhaps most of all is the “dying with dignity” and how its a mortal sin to euthanize a terminally ill person. so if you want to avoid an eternity of torture event horizon style, you have to make your poor family go broke in this life to keep your dying ass alive as long as possible, paying off slimebag dockers and nurses and hospitals and healthcare admins, spending 9000 dollars a day to keep you alive one more day when you’re senile and pooping your pants and doped up anyway.

well only RICH people can afford to do that, so the catholic god is biased towards the filthy rich pigs in other words, right?

the workaround is that you euthanize your dying relative, then beg forgiveness from god, then when you’re dying, hope your family euthanizes you.  heck PRESSURE them to euthanize you, tell them to do the same thing you did. euthanize, then repent, then repeat!

I AM THE MASKED MASTERB8R

fri feb 28 2014 11.19pm

FREE AT LAST

yep I am now officially laid off from the Worst Job Ever. it’s not a real JOB unless you are sh1tting your pants, scared sh1tless every day, thinking that K’ing yourself would mean you wouldn’t have to go to this living hell ever again, hehehe.

i suppose unemployment may get old after a week but my god. I put in for a half day on muh last day to see if they would give it to me, they did not. (note: of COURSE this is not PAID time off! you sacrifice your pay so you can get a few hours off.) the notion of 4 hours of work STILL scared me. becuase you never know what kind of weird, crazy, strange, unexpected stuff you will get next. and that you are getting judged by your supervisors when you go ask for help. and that you sound like a virgin when talking to the callers trying to explain things you don’t really know. it is all a very nerve wracking environment, every day.

so i usually start to calm down a LITTLE about 60% thru the day. thursday was pretty rough, and friday today was pretty rough too. Got a rough call in first half but good news is I handled it well. last call ever was a f00king abortion that lasted an hour, but thankfully the caller was nice.

heh. at this point i would RATHER be a JOBLESS BUM than WORK THERE hehehehe. i could not say the same about muh old Bumjob.

however it is a signif achievement for me that I WITHSTOOD and did not quit, hehehe. survived till my scheduled layoff without having a MELTDOWN or a BREAKDOWN. but it always felt like I was close, it was just a matter of time, just one bad call or one bad day away from it. did not like that at all. did not have that at old job.

and the people were mainly NICE, and even the CALLERS were mainly OK, none of the callers were really mean or godawful, the meanest ones weren’t that bad.

was talking to a ncie guy there and he said compared to another CALL CENTER he worked, this place was EASY and FUN. other place was a health insurance place where he talked to people dying of cancer and their parents and children dying of cancer, and he had to deny their claims as they died of cancer and bankrupted their families, and so they would get mad at him and scream and tell him they hoped him and his family died of cancer. that kind of sh1t. jeezum crow. pretty bad, amirite? and nothing even 1% close to that here. yet i still freaked the f00k out for almost 3 months straight.

but it was a good experience overall. got to face muh fears and get better at stuff, and a good res builder.

but it was still insufferable, and part of my PENANCE. for being a jackass from ages 18 to 26. so i figure I will pay karmic debt, penance, sentence, for 8 years to make up for those Bad 8 years, thus, Life Will Totes Suck and I will be a Huge Loser up till Age 34.  it’s only fair.

(getting close to revealing my age. won’t say how close I am to that. I could be older.)

heh now i can focus my mind on more important things, like the decadence and degeneracy of western civilization and how it is being poisoned by marxism and banksters.

the good news is i still don’t give a damn about women. the job has been the nail in the coffin for my libido. which is good, now i can focus on more important things, like finding a better job, or breaking lifetime even in gambling.

i honestly still cannot recommend Gambling as a good Job Choice…..let alone Career Choice. Though I got fake rich on poker stars, playing with more serious stakes is much, much harder. 9000000000X times harder. I will be lucky to break even.  when ideally you would MAKE more than you do at a JOB. FAT CHANCE.

so, might as well try to Get A Job. is the Lesson Learned.

heh. i thought that muh job sucked SO bad, how bad does it suck. it sucks SO bad, that I would rather get a job being the UNDERLING of one of the Gurls I used to be in love with, Girls 1 thru 7, a fair number of them became Successful Professional Career Women: Lawyers, PhD’s, Masters Degrees, Academics, Administrators, Solid Middle Class. they would not be caught dead being a MANAGER at my current job, that would be beneath them. They don’t MANAGER, they ADMINISTRATE and COORDINATE and DIRECT.

I would rather have THEM be my MANAGER, and have to face THEM every day, provided the job was chill. plus I could watch them get OLD (most have already gotten there), it would be a reminder of what a huge BULLET i dodged, I could watch them torment their husbands and children, and let them berate me for not being ambitious, I would just smile and say ok baby, now pay me a nice middle working class wage while you earn your middle middle class wage, i don’t give a damn, I’m a MGTOW, I’m living the dream.

then i will work for them till I’m 50, save up some money, and start having kids with 18 year old women. 3 kids, possib w 3 diff 18 year olds.  while my Female Bosses are divorcing their husbands, pressuring their kids to get into harvard, and secretly knowing I have the right idea. by that time i will be working from home, homeschooling my kids, and Prepping for Doomsday, hehehehehe.

not to mention enjoying my young female friends!