aug 31



put this in sidebar, i want to caputre the worst article ever AND a few hundred comments

nymag open marriage cuckoldry article by sonmore



here is the sequel / follow up with the man and his “wife.”

the first article is timeless, classic, godawful, and i will put it in the sidebar As A Ghastly Monument (Ruins of Beverast reference/credit.)

i might be moving Towards A New Cover Letter Hermeneutic where the new Way is really to hit them HARD with a Fully Tailored, Individualized First Paragraph that cups their balls and sucks their dick and appeals to their mission and demonstrates my passion for their company and how i can add value and increase profitability by specifically matching the requirements of the specific job, in the culture of this specific company, addressing these particular pain points, and why i am THE SINGLE BEST CANDIDATE out of millions, and this, and no others, IS my Dream Career.

in other words, REALLY step up my Tailoring of the CL. I tailor the CL a TINY bit, changing a few words or sentences each time. so, do more than that.

also, attempt to aim for the Average Salary of my state, and NOT the whole US, which is 28k, and my state is a LITTLE below that.

yeah 12 to 16 is a ridiculous range to give. i should just say 12 to 14.

or 12 to 13 hahahaha.

people who have college careers and make 40k + cringe at talk like this. they never mention numbers. i mention numbers ALL DAY.

yeah i guess i used to think it was VULGAR too. but now I just think its Keeping It Really Real. How Much Does The Market Say You Are Worth?

no its not the sum total of Who You Are…..but it DOES tell me a LOT about what Your Employer thinks you are Worth, and What Kind of Life you live, and probably the type of people you associate with.

(People tend to associate with people who make about the same amount of MONEY as they do. So I feel a little weird when people who make WAY MORE MONEY than I do, huge winners, invite me to hang out with them. Of course I accept the invitation graciously.)

so yeah fook this 15 dollars an hour bullshit. i am willing to pay my dues and make 13 dollars an hour like the people in muh subaverage state. those fancy phaggots in joo york and phag phagcisco can take their 15 dollars an hour and pozz each others assholes with it. besides in those cities it costs 600000k per month to live in a one room shack tiny house, and it costs 90000000$ for a package of ramen. no thanks.

if a man is complaining about COMMUNICATION all the time, and his wife/gf is never WILLING to COMMUNICATE, and she’s always SHUTTING ME OUT, and so DISTANT, and putting up a WALL, she has to be willing to COMMUNICATE, well then thats him signalling that HE has HUGE communication issues, he’s projecting, HE’S really the one who doesnt know how to COMMUNICATE hahahaha.

i was watching married at first sight and derek was complaining about his distant, unwilling, stubborn, bitchy horrible (but very bangable) wife, who simpyl would not give him a chance. he is kinda a douchebag but he had some GREAT points about communication, where I nodded my head vigorously and said YES. YASSSS. THIS. SO MUCH THIS.

and hes also right that she is no spring chicken at 33, but my god she has a very fookable ass hahahahahahaha. she has to be in the top 10% of attractiveness for 33 year old women. I would DESTROY her.

and this derek is a pretty masculine man too, i’m sure he would destroy her too, but thats how stubborn she is. she probably would have gladly let him destroy her 5 years ago. now im not sure what she wants. probably a total beta bucks sort of guy. she probably WANTS the total doormat that says anything you want hunny. but i have to wonder, who does she want For SECS, at this moment? she’s always gonna want the masculine guy for secs. so why not have secs with her masculine husbando derek?

unless she’s such a sleazebag that she needs TWO or more men. alpha fooks, beta bucks, and never the twain shall meet. i guess she’s never experienced a best of both worlds alpha who is masculine AND makes a ton of money. but  she’s hawt enough to pull such a man (albeit not necessary without sharing him), and doesnt she meet plenty of powerful men as a Stewardess? like the powerful alpha men in First Class and such?

so yeah i am most fascinated in this couple. then sonia and nick a distant second, and i dont really care about the third couple hahahaha.

basically a 33 year old woman with no children is guaranteed to be SUPER CRAZY. her body is telling her to have a baby RIGHT NOW BEFORE ITS TOO LATE and you have to keep that in mind. i guess its ok if you want to have a baby right now too. but its gonna be real hard to have MULTIPLE babies with this woman. she shoulda started having babies AT LEAST TEN YEARS AGO.

fulton sheen on difference between BAD, and EVIL.


hilarious first hour with moishe, not sure if florian mentions the sheen story in this one though

start at 1:47:00. this is exactly where florian makes the point about fulton sheen. this is probably the single best episode of nationalist review EVAR: a full hour of moishe being absolutely ridiculous, natt being natt, a bit by “degenerate dan”, a full discussion and reading of that horrendous nymag cuckold article, AND florian uses that to introduced sheen’s point:

that a bad man simply does bad things, sins, like lie, cheat, steal, hurt, kill.

but a truly EVIL man actively and intentionally works to undermine truth, beauty, and goodness ITSELF. true evil seeks to portray vice as virtue. like the cuckold husband who does disgusting mental gymnastics to portray his cuckoldry as True Luv for his wife. true evil just makes a disgusting mockery of truth, beauty, and goodness.

i didn’t actually hear sheen’s actual story, just florian describing it. but i’ve seen plenty of sheen, and he is pretty badass, and the more i hear of florian, the more i like/luv him. he is possibly the new fulton sheen for 2016 alt right. and he is a very young man, like 23 years old. AND he is in seminary to become a catholic priest. AND he is alt right and joo wise and insanely, autistically smart. AND he has created a better joo character than morrakiu, with moishe the mossad handler.

ok florian is definitely in contention to be man of the year 2016 hahahahaha. i sort of wish he wasn’t becoming a priest so he could have white children. but I like the idea of a 1488 catholic priest too.

shit i would say become a priest and have children ANYWAY. let them kick you out.

actually i think you can become a priest AFTER you have children.

florian should def have children. but I very much appreciate him being a MAN OF GOD.

his regular voice is a little autistic, but he is SUCH a great awesome guy it doesnt even matter. this guy is SO good.


so yeah. listen to that whole episode. if its not SHUT DOWN by the time this post posts. im downloading that shit again.

the best thing ive heard lately that isnt the fatherland hahahaha. well it does have ryan from the fatherland and i luv him too. great, great men. I would LUV to go to a trs convention and meet these guys.


millennial woes on the new daily shoah!!! (100th episode!) NOICE!! I hope he uses some N words and K words and F words and such and isnt such a nice guy hahaha. i dont think hes even been on the shoah before. ITS ABOUT TIME.

sept 1

had weird dream that i was a Rookie Police Officer just starting out, getting On The Job Training from the guys, and I was very quickly On The Verge Of A Nervous Breakdown, and was very anxious like, whoa guys, i think i’m in over my head, i don’t think im TOUGH ENOUGH to handle this, maybe i’m not cut out for this job, maybe I should quit, I mean really, I dont have it in me! you need a tougher guy!

and the guys were all tough but also generally in favor of me not quitting I think, or they would disrespect me as an inferior pvssy if i quit, and were like, yeah its tough at first, but you just gotta TOUGHEN UP, gotta TUFF GET GOING, gotta not let it bother you, power through it, etc and other platitudes.

i think for most Cops though there is better training than what i experienced in the dream. like when you pay 20 grand to go to Police Academy, that’s where they train you for like 12 weeks hehehehe on all the aspects of being a Cop.

also cops get ongoing paid training because of like lawsuits and shit. peoples lives are at stake, its one of those jobs, like doctors and nurses and shit. lives are in your hands. people could die, and that means million dollar lawsuits, thus you implement official training pogams to Cover Your Ass.

unlike some companies where you dont need to cover your ass so much, and you can Screw and Joo customers with impunity, so it DOESNT MATTER if your people are trained. and the advice from management is, do what you need to do to get them on their way and make/save time and money.

thankfully i never had to Upsell Add On Products and shit. but the employees I was Supporting sure did. and they were generally as poorly trained as we were, and there they were talking to the ACTUAL customers. pressured by THEIR managers to try to sell the customers shit they REALLY didnt need, and also not understanding the products. yet trying to sell them. to people who didnt need them. when the products themselves were overpriced shady bullshit that were thoroughly jooish to the core. buy this extra advanced warranty goy. just in case. only 50 dollars more. just in case of a worst case scenario.

also the company was in general, dying. there is talk the company will be sold. but its a publicly traded company with shareholders. can you have a reverse IPO where a once public company becomes privately held again? i guess you can do esoteric shit with stock buybacks or stock splitting or something.

i guess theoretically the stock price could go SO low, and then there are Equity Firms who might gobble up a Majority Ownership of the company.

i dont know, I don’t have an MBA, I only have like 25 credits of Business Classes, hahahahaha.

which is more than Average, 13 dollar an hour normies have!

but you can also get an ok business sense from working at a company for a few years and just talking to people.

at my company, there was tons of rumors and speculation, among the more savvy people like me, that were even interested in speculation about why was the company doing this, rather than being like idk ikr lol weed lmao.

people like me who were frustrated and wanted to understand why the company and our department was such an egregious, backwards, shameful, disorganized, mismanaged clusterfook, and how it could be improved. well, more training, more actual legit experts who knew what they were doing, more time and money, more quality people actually improving actual quality, more testing, more actual listening to customers, much better executive management who understood the importance of IT as being more than just a Cost Center, etc.


but yeah its just horribly frustrating to have an angry, stressed person pushing you to fix their problem, because youre supposed to be the expert, fixing problems is your job, and you have no idea what you’re doing, and you look like you don’t know what you’re doing, becuase you really don’t, and you can’t appeal to a Subject Matter Expert in a way that is actually useful for either you or the customer. Most customers would be jsut fine if you said, wow, this is a pretty complex problem, here’s Joe Flabeetz, he’s been here for 2 years and really knows what he’s doing, Joe is great. its much worse when you say, i dont know what to do, let me talk to Joe, and then you “talk” to Joe in a shitty chat room where he is helping 20 other lost souls like you, telling you stuff that doesnt make sense. then you go back to the customer and try to do that thing, and explain it.  NATURALLY, UNDERSTANDABLY, they wonder, can’t you just get Joe over here? he clearly knows what he’s doing, you clearly don’t, so just get him on the case.

but one does not simply just get a SME on the case. because they are just as busy as we are and are not gonna escalate a case without a fight.

you could probably turn newbies into SME’s quicker with REGULAR TRAINING. but again, thats millions of dollars for people who want to get out of here ASAP anyway. or they can just go mad and snapquit like me hahahaha.


the company can afford to not support their employees, shit they can afford to some extent to provide shitty, overpriced, screwjob jooish service to their customers. anything you can get away with. no exchanges, no refunds. all sales final. don’t like it, complain to the better business bureau bitches. don’t like it, do this shit yourself or go to our competitors.

see thats going too far though! why would you knowingly push your customers towards your competitors?

AND THATS WHY THE COMPANY IS FAILING. it used to be a successful, reputable company. now it is a sinking ship and more people can’t ignore that.

so yeah, i think a large part of why my experience was SO NEGATIVE was the culture of the company, being a large “big dog” old school company that was starting to fail on a massive scale. i mean they will implement retarded changes on a daily basis, yet be so Entrenched that they wont implement the actual Radical change needed. just do stupid spazzout bandaid fire putout bullshit. nothing meaningful, nothing that is good for the long term. short term only.

heh. that woman didnt care. she was just like go with the flow, dont let it bother you, dont bother me about it, i dont care, idk lol, dude weed lmao.

i mean women are not well equipped to have logical, sensible, reasonable, insightful thoughts about Business anyway……… but with all these educated women in careers, i think they can at least go through the motions of talking about business.

well, we did not have alot of those type of women in our department hahaha.

so i’m saying i prefer a more business savvy woman?

NO….i don’t even prefer a more intelligent woman. shit she was intelligent ENOUGH. i think she COULD have been taught to be more business savvy, not that she needed be…..

sheeeeeeeeeeeeeeit, really I just wanted her to talk to me more, be nicer to me, and just have a HALFWAY decent conversation about Our Jobs and Our Company!!!!!!! don’t you have an OPINION on this retardation! it affects you as much as it affects me! and she probably DID have an opinion! she just didnt want to talk to me any more. and i was very upset about that. her withdrawing from me and building a huge wall.

so yeah that was deffo the root issue hahahaha.

and I was very frustrated because I was aware of that root issue, and trying to resolve it, and getting NOWHERE, because I needed cooperation and willingness from her, and she refused to get it.

lets meet, lets sit at the table together, talk, and try to MAKE A DEAL. lets negotiate and compromise and both leave unhappy hahahahahahahahaha. and i was sitting at the table all day waiting for her to show up, and she just no called no showed the whole time.

so yeah that why i was very upset hahahaha.

dont just say dont let it bother you. get a thicker skin. believe me I would love to.

now, I had great conversations with a couple of my male friends at the job, and we all should have been promoted to level 3 and never have to take a call ever again hahahaha. make 18 bucks an hour hahaha.

i wasnt asking her to be as insightful as us, i just wanted her to give SOME effort into thinking about this. i mean it was stupid NOT to have righteous indignation over it, and to just say dont let it bother you, and smoke MJ. you can smoke MJ and still have opinions about this ridiculousness! and partially i was JEALOUS of her ability to DISCONNECT from the job like that, do it so Coolly, yet still miraculously do a “good” job and be liked by everyone. well yeah she was a likeable person hahahaha.

ishould probably give agalloch a second try. should i listen to the above album or “the mantle.” i was torn. i went to youtube and tried to compare the Productions, which one sounded better. they both sounded pretty close but maybe this one has a 5% stronger guitar sound. also, i technically tried listening to “the mantle” like 4 years ago and i was like, yeah this is ok, but i guess im not in the mood for something like this.

i guess now at least i am in the mood to give them a try again. i guess i want something thats like beautiful atmospheric black metal, but very melodic and very easy to listen to, with immediately catchy riffs and melodies and songs. but without being so NEW that it gets TOO much into “post rock” or “blackgaze”. something old enough that it was around when I was young and actually interested in music. the mantle came out in 2002, which is right in my wheelhouse yearwise, this one came out in 2006, when i had stopped caring about music, well, thats not true. i recall i was keeping up on the current work of katatonia and goatwh0re. but not being super duper into it, or into anything. lots of drinking. damn. increasing amounts of drinking. stupid. i stopped caring about new music, or music in general, some dark days.

so 2002 was really a much better year for me music wise than 2006…..but ive already heard a bit of the mantle, and if i like ashes against the grain, i’ll try the mantle. also the mantle is like 68 minutes long, which is way too long for an album. ashes is 59 minutes. still way too long, but better than 68.

and of course in 2014 and much of 2015 i was not interested in music so much either, because worrying about the job, or i was devastated by my loss and failure hehehehe. so i guess ive rebounded to a kind of peak right now of interest in music, as in trying to find NEW music, which is remarkable, cuz much of the time i like to Build A Wall and say yep ive got more than enough music thank you, dont need any new stuff. there’s nothing good left out there. its all hipster phaggot degenerate bullshit. theres plenty of stuff  from before 2000 i havent listened to yet.

and its FINE to close the ranks and circle the wagons….but i dont want to do that more than half of the time. i would always like to be SOMEWHAT open to new music.

and agalloch i think is right in line with stuff that i have enjoyed. like when i was young i enjoyed opeth a lot, i still enjoy their older stuff, and i have always enjoyed “in the woods….” a norwegian sorta black metal group from the 90s that was atmospheric and progressive and avant garde when those things werent NEARLY as cool as they are now.

heh like the other day i wanted to listen to hammerfall and i only ended up listening to the first two songs on the album. and that album was only like 40 minutes. perfect length.

went to jcpenneys. it was a mixed bag. i had high hopes.  saw some beautiful high school girls in there with their Moms for Back 2 Skool shopping. nothing wrong with a 35 year old man ogling 16 year old gurls hahahahahaha.  at that age you really want to Protect and Provide for them, and you would Happily swear an oath to their Faithful Fathers that you would not bang them until they are 18, or if the father really wanted grandchildren, then you could have him sign off for age 17, and you would promise to not frivolously divorce her hahahahahaha. and she would promise to not frivorce YOU really.

so yeah you dont look at the beautiful 16 year old gurl and say “yeah id like to pump and dump that trashwh0re, ride hard and hang them up wet” the way you would say about a 30 year old skank. you say “damn i wouldnt mind MARRYING that gurl and having her be the mother of my children. Assuming she’s not ALREADY a huge slut. Let’s have a talk with her father.”

90s and 00s metal. that was my thing. i’m not sure i even lasted 10 good years. but 1996 to 2003 for sure might have been my best years.

in terms of The West, those were not great years. especially 96 to 2001 hahahaha. the late 90s was the high of nihilism and decadence and degeneracy where shit was probably just as bad as it is NOW, except people were more despairing. shit was BAD, although things werent AS Sexualized, and attitudes about Gays were definitely a bit better. but there was nothing to hold onto. there was no alt right. there was no hope for the youth, which i was one. the music was especially shitty. it reflected the nihilism and lack of general quality perfectly. stuff like groove metal and nu metal and korn. well at least there was a ton of catchy alternative pop type stuff. i shoulda got into that more at the time.

there seemed to be much less red pilled young people then. people were not waking up fast enough.

and i do think 911 in 2001 was a bigass paradigm shift, the beginning of a new era, a time of awakening. the sleeping nihilist giant awakens and then stumbles around in confusion for about 10 more years hahahaha. trying to shake off that nihilism and sense of no purpose. trying to figure out what was going on and what to do about it.

for me at least, the internet did not become a HUGE thing until after 2000. from like 98 to 00 we used slow dialup shit and i was already a degenerate, looking at jooish filth and actually reading Erotic Stories. which I guess is slightly less jooish. playing doom and quake. writing ridic stories of me finding a Nice GF and having a traditional monog longterm rel at age 15 hahahaha. see, my main goal was not degenerate.


hahahaha i have been looking at these goddamn RYM lists for like a month straight trying to find the perfect album to listen to

like here is the best metal (incl all subgenres) for the 90s.


you can also put in an exact year like 1996 hahahahahaha

also i wanted to say that listening to the daily shoah for the first time in a while (well i did listen when fatherland jim guest hosted a few weeks ago), is that i must remind myself not to forget how powerful mike enoch is. i mean he is really smart and just says the most interesting, smartest, most awesome things. i guess its easy to forget because his voice is ridiculous and he sounds like seth roganblatt. but the things he says are just amazing. here he is doing a 80 hour work week, hasn’t had time to read the news or do anything but work his tech job, and he comes onto TDS and is pretty high energy and very very solid and convincing in the things he was saying, just having very very good conversations where he is contributing most of the quality.

not to crap on seventh son or special guest millennial woes, but yeah this is enoch’s show and he is very very good at what he does. needs to trim down the number of people so he can dominate the conversation any more. him, SS, and MW would have been ideal.

heh i saw my confirmation email for applying to a part time job, and thought OH NO THATS THE FASTEST REJECTION EMAIL EVER!! and then laughed when i realized it was just the CONFIRMATION email that they had received my application. awesome job though hahahahaha. 30 hours a week, 15 dollars an hour, right when i have officially announced that 13 dollars is my new goal, that 15 is out of my league hehehehe.

ITS OFFICIAL. MY PRICE HAS OFFICIALLY GONE DOWN TO 13 DOLLARS AN HOUR. THAT IS MY WORTH AS A HUMAN BEING. hahahaha. no silly, that’s just my worth to the MARKET of human beings!!!!!

at the gas station today I saw a white man arguing pretty rudely with the poor clerk making 9 hourly. i couldnt see the clerk because they were in this little glass booth. it was one of those gas stations that doesnt even have an inside, and the cashier is in a tiny booth/shack. there was a huge line behind this white guy who….i couldnt tell what was going on. it sounded like he was getting charged 36 dollars when he disputed it and thought he should be charged 26, and he wasn’t gonna pay a penny more. he was maybe early 30s and had a stupid mohawk like haircut and tattoos all over his arms. good job. i really hope the clerk was not white, but even if they WERE nonwhite, they didn’t deserve this kinda treatment, and I was a bit ashamed that a fellow white man could be such a dickhead to a poor miserable gas station clerk. Whites are supposed to be Polite Customers. its blacks and arabs who are Asshole Customers.

I thought about going up to the clerk and apologizing hahahahaha. well, not apologizing, but sorry you had to go through that. I know you weren’t trying to do anything wrong. he was way out of line. he’s an asshole.

go get your manager. uhhhh the managers not here today. i’m not sure when he will be back. i can’t do anything for you. well then call the manager right now. i want to talk to him right now. uhhhh he doesnt give employees his phone number. well who do you call if its an emergency? meanwhile there is a huge line of people who just want to prepay for their gas. i avoided all this because i paid at the pump with a card hahahahaha.

mike enoch does not get all super intellectual either. he just gives real talk, absolutely no bullshit, no jerking off. he says like and dude a lot but unlike with most people who say these words a lot, it does not make him sound unintelligent. he is real good at talking to people and just great verbal intelligence on this goy hahahaha. this is the guy you want talking for you. real convincing salesman. but not in a bullshit dishonest way. he needs to quit his job and spend all his time talking and networking and meeting with people. he is a real good people person and communicator.

i wonder what the hell he did before TRS. I guess he had a big libertarian phase and did a lot of 4chan. dont quote me.

listened to the first 2 songs of the agalloch album, they were pretty good. decent production. a blast beat would be nice. also the black metal vocals are pretty unimpressive and really dont seem to fit. something a bit deeper, or alternately, a DSBM or old burzumy scream would be better. the corny clean vocals are better.

uhhh seems to be plenty of “melodic doom” in the vein of old katatonia going on, that i wasnt really expecting, but i guess i’m not surprised, and i am not disappointed either.

overall, very melodic, very very, not super opethy unless you think of an alternate opeth where they continued in the vein of their first two albums…….which is not a problem for me!

but now i have a damn melodic doom katatoniaish song stuck in my head and I don’t know what it is!!!!!!!!!

it has a catchy mournful weeping guitar melody.

it is pretty brave murder day ish, but i dont think its from that album.

it could be from the first october tide album, but i dont think so.

and i’m not sure what else it could be.

sept 2

you know i think it might be beneath the rain or whatever that doom band from portugal with the guy from morgion singing.  on their second main album.

before the rain?

YASSSS there is is, aroun 20:23, actually that motif is all throughout this song “shards” and it repeats a lot, but i was particularly thinking of the higher octave guitar going into the “weeping” range hahahaha.


yeah the album is a little long but it has a great production and great style and is pretty underrated and i only found it because i am a big morgion fan.

fooking rate your music lists really interferon with muh job search hahahaha.

fook working for a living like an honorable white man. i am just gonna become a black ingra hahahaha.

yeah i dont want to pedestalize That Woman too much. it’s VERY GOOD to remember I have been Decent Friends with, I have been CLOSE TO OTHER WOMEN before. she doesnt STAND ALONE. I had at least two pretty good female friends where we were decent friends for like approx 2 years. talking freely, being comfortable with each other.

yeah i never fell in LUV with them but thats NOT THE POINT. well, yes and no. yeah that was the one thing that differentiated that woman.

but i never want to lose sight of the fact that i have gotten close and friendly with OTHER women. NOT JUST HER.

rejection email THREE MONTHS after applying for job. the spreadsheet did not even exist until 2 months ago.

entry level position at big well known company, great job, but 95% of its postings are for Senior Level Engineers.

ANYWAY. when you fall in LUV with a woman you FEEL closer to them. it’s a fantasy, its all in your head, but i don’t like describing it like that, thats misleading. because it’s VERY real for YOU. YOU ACTUALLY ARE very close to THEM……………………………but THEY are not nearly as close to YOU. by saying its all in your head, it mocks the realness, truth and beauty of your Luv. so, I wont do that.

like when i fell in luv with women i didnt even KNOW. OF COURSHE i FELT close to them, even though I didn’t even KNOW them!

the DIFFERENCE this time, was I fell in luv with someone I ACTUALLY KNEW!!!!!!!!!!!!!

and still, apparently, I didn’t know them well enough!

but yeah i MUST NOT think of myself as some WEIRDO CREEPER ALIEN who CANT get along with women, because I have become close friends with OTHER WOMEN THAN JUST HER.

I just never fell in LUV with any of them, so thats why That Woman was such a big deal.

went to jcpenney and found some great nike revolution 3 running shoes. but they did not have the size in the color i wanted.

so then i went to zappos and ordered the size for about the same price. i hate the idea of ordering SHOES online, but technically i HAD already tried on a pair of the same style of shoe, just a diff COLOR. and i wasnt gonna back down here.

interestingly enough, i was aiming to replace a pair of Revolution 2 which i had bought 2 years ago and are now falling apart and completely worn out. i guess i am a Nike Revolution man. so I should look for the Revolution 4 in 2 more years.

man those one year at a time charts on rym are great. i can see all the albums I was enjoying at the time, ANDDDDDDD see all the ones from that time period that I missed. there was a ton of good stuff in those years that i missed because i was a teen listening to groove metal hahahaha. no i liked half good stuff too, some black metal. i have been a black metal fan for TWENTY YEARS hahahahahahahahahaha. well, maybe 19.

just tell these antiwhite k1kes in interviews that ive been spending the last 14 months looking at black metal charts on RYM hahahahahahahahahahahahahaha but i havent been smokin any MJ ya k1kes!

not that you should be PROUD about smokin MJ. its for degenerates. its INHERENTLY DEGENERATE.

its TERRIBLE that I still want to do it. that I still want to do it WITH HER. goddam degenerate DEVILS CABBAGE.

if anyone speaks glowing of MJ, publicly humiliate them! and then go smoke it privately hahahhaha.

i really hate successful people who make like 30k a year who say i can smoke MJ and I’m a successful productive member of society! I’m happy with my life and my job and I am a successful family man! and I make 30k a year!

comment sections of news articles on legalizing mj and all these pro-legalization types saying shit like that.

well i am pro legalization too, but more of the “conservative libertarian” way, rather than Have Big Govt Regulate and Tax Tax Tax it! but let each city decriminalize it.

i mean I just imagine all the tax money being wasted anyway, like the 200 million in tax revenue colorado got from MJ. it will just be wasted on public skools in black ghettos hahahaha where the money wont do any good. or paying teacher administrator pensions hahahahahaha.

it wont go to fix shitty roads, it wont go to more police and ems in black crime ghettos, or blight cleanup, or anything useful like that. thats where your MJ tax money will go. just like alcohol and tobacco tax money.

so yeah dont tax it. save the money to build up MJ production companies hahahaha. or even small time MJ producers in the cities where it is legal.

well companies are STILL gonna drug test for jobs anyway, that practice has not changed even in colorado, in fact its probably gotten even more prevalent! cuz now theres more lazy ingrish potheads out there who would make terrible workers hahahaha.

i am being partially facetious since i always try to work my hardest even if i am using MJ afterwards.

but maybe i am just a shitty worker but i think i am a good worker.

i mean shit, i can’t handle the bare minimum at muh old job! my best was worse than their worst! hahahahaha.

NO, that’s not entirely true. for a good long while I was good and getting better. establishing a reputation for excellence. might have even been promoted in 2 more years, hahahahaha, for a company that never promotes from within!

(i of course dont want to work for a company that doesnt promote from within hahahaha)

because hiring outsiders for upper level jobs is a YUGGGGEEEEE red flag of a shitty horrible company. run dont walk.

applied for great job at Dream Employer University, but its 36k. when my skills are only worth 26k hahahaha. isnt it a waste of 25 minutes to apply for this?

i found another one that pays 15 an hour. much better. but still out of my league hahaha.

in fact the jobs that pay 13 an hour, aka 26k a year…..dont usually even list their pay. they just say nothing.

so i guess the lesson is, always apply for the jobs that dont list a number, because that number is probably low enough to be closer to your actual worth.

but still. why not just list the god damn pay for ALL jobs, from 10 dollar an hour to 40 dollars an hour jobs, so people that think the pay is too low, wont even apply.

unless they are trying to overreach and get people who would normally be “too good” to apply????

well that’s not what I do, i apply for 12 and 11 dollar an hour jobs if they seem chill/easy or I like the company.

anyway the 15 an hour job would be GREAT. like 5 miles away, full time office job, for satellite campus of bigass university that probably takes average care of its employees with 401k, health care, and at least 13 an hour wage hahahaha. 9 to 5 hours, weekends off, the works. real solid family man stuff. no joke.




july 11

applied for the “facilities” job at the dream employer. the posting was only open for 5 days. From a FRIDAY to a TUESDAY. really suspect there. its like they DONT WANT a lot of people to apply for it ahahahahah.

well they probably dont!

but then youre just rolling the dice and getting really RANDOM people! and not necessarily the BEST people.

but that’s good for ME! I want weak competition because I myself am weak!

but yeah it would be a GREAT job to get. close, days, any overtime is paid time and a half, and icing on the cake is i already know one of the possible coworkers and get along with him really well. he might not still be there tho.

took 28 minutes to apply, but that did not bring up the average too much!!!!

meaning, the average is starting to be established as a lower number, closer to 14 than to 28. more good news.

i like to joke that i am saving myself for a woman who is a actual decent woman and not a dirty slut, so thats why i have been celibate for years hahahahaha. because a good woman is THAT hard to find. 99.9% of them are dirty skanks.

or maybe only 51%! a small majority rather than a vast majority hahahaha.

heck lets just GIVE THEM THE BENEFIT OF THE DOUBT and say 50%, because we dont know for sure.

I can live with 50% a lot better than 99.9%. and that is a lesson you can apply elsewhere in life, to overcome Pessmistic Realism Black Pill Despair.


this is eggman doing a video of him filling out a job app after he was fired from a data entry job, which i dont know if it was the same job where he was working 80 hours a week a few months ago. eggman is also a pathetic virgin or near-virgin making feels videos, but i think george feels is more my style.

holy shit some GREAT woman hating comments here. that are frighteningly credible. you find yourself nodding your head at the women haters, BECAUSE THEYRE RIGHT.

this is BLACK PILL REALITY. and we HAVE to ignore it. until we have a woman in our face trying to ho us out. then say “fook your bullshit baby, now suck muh dick or get out”

a woman can cuckold a man but a man can never cuckold a woman. FACT. just think about that for a while. let it really sink it. it really explains a lot, very elegantly.

anyway i used to read a lot MORE stuff like this. and it IS legit. it IS true. women ARE horrible. but sometimes its healthier for you to just stick your head in the sand and pretend women arent all that bad.

just dont worry about this black pill shit until you actually have a woman in your face testing you.

can you listen to music while doing your job applications? i say sure yeah, if it doesnt slow you down significantly. like more than 1 minute added to your average.

its just amazing women can graduate college and graduate school yet still be like CHILDREN when it comes to relationships and real life, yet they still get jobs making 40k a year. i mean you have to have COMMON SENSE and NOT be crazy, two things women are absolutely NOT.

that weird feel when you stalk the Department Head to find their name, and you find that its a weird spelling of a very common name that makes you wonder if whatever level 1 Admin Assistant input their name into the System spelled it wrong……or if that’s actually how it’s spelled. Because you want to spell Jahnathan or Crisstafer right on the CL.

should probably try to….something something. oh yeah. buy a ticket to see willie nelson live because he is not gonna be around much longer, he is at least 75 years old. he WAS doing a tour with merle haggard like last year…..and then merle haggard died.

i also am kinda kicking myself sorta because i missed the concert with “dead and company” which was basically some grateful dead guys with john mayer. john mayer really isnt as bad as one thinks he is. he is a very good guitar player and once you get used to his ridiculous voice, he is fairly enjoyable. anyway i have always been a DEAD fan but I have NEVER seen any dead related shows. dead and company had bill weir, bill kreutzmann, and mickey hart. weir and kreutzmann look old as shit, like they are at death’s door. i guess phil lesh does not want to tour any more. which is understandable. these guys are like 70 years old!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! it’s amazing they are still alive!!!! and i missed a great chance to see a good number of them.

also go through your list of job posting bookmarks and move all the B+ or higher rated ones to the bottom. or top, whatever is the “newest” or “most important.” so you can obviously not forget to apply for them.

welp 6 apps today with 12.5 minutes total for TODAYS average. which is now actually my total average as well. 12.5 minutes. horry sheet. and that is with a 28 minute app in there today.  15, 4, 7, 7, 14,  28. not bad uh.

maybe i should try to get invited to social gatherings and then take a mixture of valium and benedryl when i get there hehehehe.

welp i need to get up ridic early tomorrow to do favor for old friend. this is kinda good because i havent seen or talked to him in months and it gives me a chance to do a good deed. however i have my suspicions that his life is not going so good. maybe even trouble with his Marriage. that he might be 85% at fault for, hehehe.  also i dont want to get sucked in hehehe. but he has been very good about not taking advantage of me hehehehe so i sorta trust him not to do that.

plus i was thinking of going shopping for muh suit on wednesday and maybe if i am up SUPER EARLY tomorrow i can just do it tomorrow instead.

heheh i am becoming fond of poor georgie. he is a lot more funny and more likeable than I thought he would be, not as autistic and obnoxious and spergy. in other words, i think he has an actual chance. and in a less degenerate era, he would have been married. he’s not THAT weird that he is beyond all hope. i feel I am similar. I mean, i’ve COME CLOSE. i’ve just never closed the deal haha. george has a sense of humor and can make and understand jokes, which is a big deal. some of the autist virgins on the despair forums dont even get jokes, hahaha.

but yeah its frustrating that when a nice qt gurl is USED by Eminem-like Douchebags for Secs, but they would never even consider dating you! and they blow you off and get SO OFFENDED when you get feelings for them. and then you’re the bad NiceGuy.

who’s holding a GUN to these girls heads saying they MUST have secs with these eminem loser guys?

you can’t be USED for something without your permission!

july 12

horry sheet, invited to interview with the county, ie muh plum choice employer, after submitting 1488 applications and only getting rejections for 13 DAH jobs!

30k, not bad uh? start time of shift is at 3pm though, not ideal but oh well. for this employer, i will take it!

this ridiculous friend of mine, getting up early to do him a favor and he is just pretty much beyond help. it is sad but there is nothing i or anyone else can do. still it has resulted in distance between us. but he clearly needs to stop drinking, but will not. it is ruining his marriage and his life and put a strain on every relationship and friendship he has, but he still drinks. after 2 dui’s, several injuries and hospital visits, several Inpatient treatment stays. still drinking. trying to hide the drinking from the wife but that obv doesnt work. now wife is probably leaving. i really can’t blame her! i could not put up with that either!

but yeah back in the DAY me and him used to drink a lot together. these days i get along with him better when he is not drinking. cuz his drinking is an even bigger problem than my drinking was. but he wont stop drinking. very frustrating and disappointing and sad.

also i am disappointed at my own COWARDICE and BALLLESSNESS with him. I should have put my foot down and said, you HAVE To stop drinking or your wife will leave you, and she will be RIGHT to do so; and NO I am not going to stop by the liquor store on the way back to your house so you can buy little shot bottles of booze that you can sneak past your wife in your pockets. didnt you just go to REHAB in the past 4-5 months I have not seen you? and now day drinking on a day off from work due to a physical injury that was probably related to the drinking?

sheeeeeit. was I this bad to HER? like he is pushing me out of his life with his behavior, I pushed her out of mylife with my behavior?

NO DONT THINK THAT. COGNITIVE DISTORTION. its 2 VERY different things. being a damn incorrigible alcoholic is much different than having Feels for somebody. esp when you have been a Big Drinker for Many years and had Many Would-Be Wake Up Calls but refuse to listen to them.

also luv is more luving and good than drinking, which is blatantly destructive. culture of life vs culture of death hahaha.

yeh its a LOT different and its RIDICULOUS i would even THINK to compare them, and shows how DISTORTED muh thinking is, and with Distorted Thinking like THAT, no WONDER i got into despair and low confidence!!!!!

but yeah i received the invite for muh auspicious 10th interview after i have submitted 260 applications. this makes for some easy math. assuming  1 out of 26 applications leads to an interview and 1 out of 26 interviews leads to a job, I have to then apply to 676 jobs. Not 400 hehehehe. MOVE THE GOALPOSTS hahahaha.

i just went from 65% done with muh job search to….like 40% hehehe. DAMN.

and yet i dont feel BETRAYED by this friend. disappointed and frustrated, sure, but not betrayed. I don’t think i’ve EVER really felt BETRAYED by anybody, not even THAT PERSON. Disappointed, frustrated, heartbroken, let down, left hanging, left in the lurch, left high and dry, abandoned, sure, but not really  betrayed. how could she feel that about me? But I dont know that she does, in fact, chances are she DOESNT, much like I dont feel betrayed by her!

heh. i have an incident with this GUY and I bring it right back to that WOMAN, even though she is out of my life for a YEAR, and he is still hanging on by a thread.

yep the perfect thing to get comfy. triumph of the will and chill. would be nice to have cuddling with a tradwife while watching this hehehehe.

yes i am aware “tradwife” is a joke term for a tranny man. very alt right.

the only other bad thing other than this job being 3 to 11pm is that it is very near HER house. i mean it is almost comically close. I might even be able to SEE her house from there. spy in her window and see her getting fooked by tyrone and leroy and dewayne and rodney every night.

so yeah i dont want to drive by her street if i get this job. it would be funny if i were looking out a window directly into her bedroom watching her fook and suck ingras and eminems and neck tattoo pill popping trash.

i am worried she will become a slut now because she has no real father and she is into ridiculous conspiracy stuff. i was surprised when i learned she WASNT a slut. I just figured she WOULD be. and i am assmad if she can BECOME a slut at age 25 and would rather fook 6 gorillion black dicks than to even say SORRY to ME.

than to even send me ONE TEXT saying sorry for throwing you away like garbage when you were an important person to me for almost three years. i just realized that’s not the right thing to do.

unpleasant thoughts that That Person, my waifu who i am trying to forget and let go of but its a long painful PROCESS and I have to RESPECT THE PROCESS, that she is just a crazy Conspiracy Truther Nutty Slut like sinead mccoalburner.  and i take no pleasure in sinead’s disgrace either! I WISH she were a decent white waifu instead of a nutty slut!!

Note: that person was a lot nicer and a lot less shrill and a lot more laid back and calm than sinead!

676 applications to get ONE job???? is this REALLY what ALL normies must go through?

maybe it is. I just would have liked a little preparation for the reaming hahaha.

also i guarantee those darn baby boomers didnt have to do this. 676 applications. 26 interviews before one job. they just showed up on time with a high school diploma and that was good enough to make 1979’s equivalent of 15 bucks an hour hahahaha.

not bullshitting through 26 interviews about how you are a real team player and hit the ground running and add value, to get a 14 dollar an hour job!

14 bucks and hour, forget 15. 14 is closer to average. just want average. not greedy.

willie nelson, red headed stranger album

1975. regarded as one of his best actual albums not counting like live and greatest hits albums. also want to find a good live album. and something with merle haggard.

meh the album was a little underwhelming, plus i think the uploader has mixed it up to avoid copyright stuff and inserted a bit that was not even willie nelson.  underwhelming overall. was hoping for more band, or maybe every song would be more like “can i sleep in your arms” etc.

yep the woman i luved is giving her body to thugs and deadbeats and eminems and i’m NOT supposed to be angry and jealous? she can do THAT but not even RESPOND to me? and just cuddling with her would have been a life changing, game changer, religious experience for me.

because this job is technically in a law enforcement related agency, i wonder if they give random drug tests to all their employees throughout the year. some places do that. like being a police officer. but what about the slackers in the back office giving Administrative Support to the police dept? do THEY REALLY need regular drug tests?

i mean i just want to start working and start sm0king MJ again hahahaha. i can handle an initial pre-employment drug test, but regular drug tests after getting hired would suuuuuccccckkkkkkk. I guess I would still take the job though. I mean why WOULDNT I. 40 hours a week, no more, union, benefits, 30k a year, municipal office job. COME ON.



google: blaming self for breakup


Or they blame the breakup on their neediness.  Now that that they are in abandonment grief, feelings of neediness become overwhelming.  The truth is that we all become needy during heartbreak.  We are needy at other times, too – neediness is part of being human – but it becomes pronounced when we are attempting a new relationship with someone we’re not sure of or when the person we are attached to is no longer fulfilling our basic need to be loved and secure.

When we feel unrequited love – a lack of emotional reciprocity from the other person – we naturally feel insecure. Even the most independent among us can exhibit reactive behaviors that are extreme and can make the other person run for cover.  ”


abandonment dot net, awesome hahaha. all quotes copyright susan anderson, my new hero

” Many abandoners also attempt to BLAME you for the break up. It’s because you were too “needy” or “dependent” or “angry,” they might say. Meanwhile, if you have become “needy” or “dependent” or “angry” it is not because you ARE these things, but because you were REACTING to their gradually pulling away. None-the-less, you will beat yourself up for these things anyway. ”


” But if the accident simply reflected the cold randomness of the universe, that meant something far worse: no planning or foresight could ever prevent bad things from happening to the people I cared about.  Even psychologists have trouble swallowing that pill. So I kicked myself instead. After all, that’s when we all turn to self-blame: at those very moments we can’t accept how helpless we are to control our fate. Beneath self-blame, there’s often a powerful wish for control. 

This is also the key to understanding Tina’s behavior. She really doesn’t believe Ken can change—nor do most people who blame themselves for a bad relationship. If we’re not the problem, then our partner’s surly moods or disinterest can only be altered through their efforts. And the less faith we have—as Tina seemed to—that they can ever make those changes, the more we risk finding fault with ourselves. If our hope for a happy relationship lies in our partners’ hands, and they’re not up to the task, then the situation truly is hopeless. And hopelessness is a far worse pain than self-doubt.

[ufmll: well, this guys got a lot of good points, well memed mah boy. BUT i would offer that sometimes hopeless can be more comforting than self doubt. in the sense of “welp, i accept that the situation is out of my hands, and nothign i could have done could have helped it. it was dead on arrival.” rather than eternally blaming yourself and saying what if. i think over the long term, that would drive you more crazy than hopelessness.]

Tina, for example, focused most of her efforts on changing herself. But for all her frantic attempts to be a better partner, she remained afraid or unwilling to ask more of Ken, terrified that he either didn’t care to—or even worse, couldn’t— change for her. She hid that fear, even from herself, beneath layers of self-blame.

If you’re a self-blamer, like Tina, the way out, of course, is to start considering what other people can do to help you feel better. And you can only do that if you accept that your partner not only can, but should change their hurtful behaviors—not because you’ve tried to do something different (again), but because they care enough about how you feel to do something different themselves (renowned marriage researcher, John Gottman (link is external), calls this “openness to influence (link is external)”).

In other words, the onslaught of self-blame only stops once you realize that your own feelings of disappointment are legitimate enough to be heard. It’s when you finally tell someone you feel hurt or upset by their behavior—and exactly what they can do to help you feel better—that you truly learn whether or not they care enough to change what’s hurting you. And if they don’t care about that, you need to know as soon as possible. Or you could end up stuck in an unhappy relationship, blaming yourself for feeling bad. And that would depress anyone.

copyright/credit  craig malkin or psych today




this 7 cups of tea site is pretty neat. it is about connecting people with Listeners when they jsut need an Objective Person to Listen and not give judgements or advice. i think its a great idea. although i think a little advice is not bad hahahahaha obviously. i like to give Baby Steps advice, like walk 100 miles a day hahahaha. and get a masters of electrical engin degree, and get a nice cute chaste 18 year old gurlfran, and lift 9000000 pound weights.


yeah buddy.

see i KNOW i did shit wrong, namely, i commuincated poorly and pushed her, even if for “good” reasons/intentions (wanting to communicate abotu problems, talk things out), but was this the be all end all?  isnt the more important reason was she simply didnt have feelings, she wanted to keep things the way they were, i wanted to change them?

i dunno. yeah i pushed her, but yeah she could have treated me at least a little better and spared me a little pain hahahaha.

ok did a 4 miler, took a nice shower, turned out i had not taken a shower in 5 days, that is horrible hahaha.

i thought well my crime was being pushy. her crime is throwing a person away. which is worse.

well she only threw me away because I pushed her.

but is that REALLY an appropriate, proportional response?

my thing was like a 1 on  the badness scale, she was an 11.

i am always thinking of things in terms of Payoffs. so the payoff of me pushing her, for her, was like -1 to her, her throwing me away like garbage was a -10000000 for me!

listened to some of the golden one whilst walking. he seems like a good guy. its funny his derpression video advises getting goals and also getting a gurlfran will give you motivation an energy. i had to laugh because he talked about it like it was so easy. study shit on the internet, learn how to talk and dress and use game on gurls, then you can get a gurl. he admits to liking cuddling. he has kind of a traditional view of “fair maidens” which i like, and discourages degeneracy, so i assume he would not approve of sluts and casual sex and open rels. but i would like to see him do a video on that!

he is all about being “glorious” and being the best you can be, pushing your body to become a golden god, and also reading and learning.

anyway i would say a high number casual sex slut is not worth being a fair maiden!

but this guy could tear me in half like a phone book hahahaha.

i think he would agree, as i say, he is anti-degeneracy and pro-family and probably pro-traditional relationships. which is the way to be. in fact these views are expanding his audience from what he probably originally intended, ie a strictly Weight Lifting audience.

yeah cuddling with that New Dream Gurl WOULD help getting over The Woman 2015. i guarantee it. the NDG might even be worth getting feelings over! i mean i would def like her to sit on muh face hahaha and muh dick and just bang her HARD.

of course same deal with The Woman. i mean this is what brings men and women together!

what did i learn?

to say the words “WE NEED TO TALK” or “I WOULD LIKE TO TALK” and NOT “can we please hang out”. it is my responsibility to say “i want to talk” if talkings what i really want to do.

well so there was an issue i wanted to talk about and i pushed her to talk.

if there were an issue she wanted to talk about, maybe she would have pushed me to talk.

but the issue affected us both! well it affected me more. she was able to ignore it much easier because…….she was not in luv with me…….therefore she would not want to Date me hahahaha.

i do like Affirmations, I am this and I am that. so they should be specific and detailed, but not too long, and should not use negative words like not or no, even if you WANT to NOT do something. also you should say I AM and NOT I WILL or I CAN or something that is in the future. stay on the present.

I DO have SOME social skills. i am not a complete autist. friendless autist r9k robot. i have friends, i have a weekly social event, in the past i have even been friends with WOMEN. if i were a TOTAL hopeless lost cause, i would have never had a female friend ever. and i have had SEVERAL female friends, where we would hang out and talk.

The Golden One says it can be difficult for men and women to be Just Friends if they are hanging out in a one on one setting. as part of a Group, or on the Job, its totally doable though. but he makes the good point that the One On One setting implies a certain degree of intimacy. and i would 100000000% agree.

and me and the woman would hang out one on one. but wasnt it kind of weird that her boifran didnt object? she had said once that he never got jealous. cuz i thought, if i were him, i would not be perfectly fine with her hanging out one on one with other guys and making new guy friends. cuz i am them jealous type hahahaha.

but i think its good jealousy not bad jealousy to get jealous of your long term gurlfran hanging out one on one with their Kewl New Guy Friends.

she maybe did that to MAKE him jealous, cuz i think she WANTED him to get at least a little jealous, to show that he luved her hahahaha. i mean i can totally understand this. shit i am a jealous guy i think my best match/fit would be a somewhat jealous gurl.

because yeah for us Jealous Types, you CHOOSE not to hang out One On One with other men/women as a show of respect and commitment, and you dont WANT to keep your options open because you are happy with what you have. and you dont WANT to have one foot out the door. you WANT to be monogamous, you CHOOSE monogamy with this one person you luv.

how is that so weird and hard to understand?

but yeah point is, isnt her hanging out with ME, when she had a boifran, disrespectful to her boifran, and a WARNING SIGN that she might be a cheater?

well, this one can go both ways, and i dont think she was trying to CHEAT, and she WANTED to make him jealous, as a way of making him luv her more, cuz he was pulling away from her. so it wasnt about showing him disrespect, if anything, she was desperate to make him get closer to her.

like i was desperate to have her stop pulling away from me. so i pushed her to hang out (so we could taaaaaaaaaaalk) which pushed her away further.

but yeah bitches would think i was being unfair and jealous and controlling if i didnt like them hanging out one on one with other dudes. so of course that made them all the more willing to hang out one on one with other dudes, and dump me!

but honestly really the only good healthy positive thing i CAN do is Powerwalk like a bastard, do it 8 to 10 miles a day. like to get it even higher because its GOOD to push yourself physically, plus what im doing now is not helping me lose weight fast enough. i mean shit 1 pound a week would be GREAT. but this .1 or .2 pounds per week? just doesnt seem enough! and i would luv to lose 15-20 pounds!

what has helped my poker game noticeably is PREFLOP RAISING. before i would always limp, meaning i would never raise preflop. this is i guess a really passive way of playing, when i viewed it as simply being cautious and conservative and “tight.” well little did i know about the Tight And Loose vs Aggressive and Passive matrix!

tight and loose has to do with how many hands you play. i will always be kind of tight and thats not bad.

but now i am trying to be a more aggressive in my BETS. meaning, raise preflop if you have a good hand that you as a Tight Player would play! Raise, dont call or check, and this makes it easier to build decent sized pots.


oh yeah the golden god also says……ummm he said it was ok for manlets to get Jacked and Juiced and Ripped becuase its all about improving yourself regardless if you were 6 2 like he is, or 5 4 like us manlets hahahahaha.

and he is all about being natural, no steroids and shit like that. i appreciate that hahaha.

but he said…shit cant remember but it was decent advice for anyone. pretty common sense of course.

in many advice articles on “how to break up with somebody” i have seen the common themes of:

treat them with respect

say that it was a good relationship and that the rel itself was meaningful

its ok for them to be upset

but still be nice to them.

listen to them

but be firm, direct, and not on the fence.

because you have given this a good deal of thought right?

do it in person and not email or text.

expect a decent length talk.

expect it to be uncomfortable and awkward, you’re breaking someones heart after all. but its the right thing to have this in person talk, rather than leave them hanging.

anyway yeah its funny, regarding some items near the top of that list, i totally did NOT feel treated with Human Respect, and i did not feel the relationship was given proper respect. so this must be a universal human thing. that when you get dumped, you feel thrown away like garbage, and you feel like the rel meant nothing to that person, so its the responsibility of the dumper to address those specific points. yep i agree it would have helped!

but closure is a luxury. respect is a luxury. being treated like anything but garbage shit is a LUXURY hahahaha.

just waiting for Dinner to Digest before going for another 4 miler hahaha.

oh yeah. if a full dose of nyquil makes you dead the next day, 20 hours to get fully out of your system………..

then take a half dose of nyquil. and hopefully you will be good in 10 hours hahahaha.

but i….ok a 60% dose of nyquil will last 12 hours then.

3.4 miles later

ok i took about a 60% dose; and then went out for a 4 miler. but then it got dark. and i cant powerwalk when its dark hahaaha.

ok what The Golden One said i was trying to remember, was basically using the term “BETA LEFTIST.” leftists are beta, betas are leftist. i think its great how he just comes out and says it. makes the not too difficult connection. but he really drives the connection home by using the term BETA LEFTIST regularly. a good one is the “beta leftist journalist” oh god who doesnt hate them hahaha.

in his no porn

video, he says, next time you want to jerk off to degenerate porn, imagine a beta leftist journalist is watching over you saying “GOOD GOOD” hahahaha. he believes porn is degenerate and beta and pathetic and you should earn the the luxury of getting with a woman and this is not something that should be a spectator sport, and it will take away your Natural Masculine Energy.

i would add to that that it makes a mockery of the natural, healthy male female relationship. degrades it, defiles it, blasphemes it, perverts it.

ok the other more important thing he says, is to ask yourself, “is this WORTHY of me?” while taking a fairly Cocky, Superior view of yourself, even if you have to force it at first. of COURSE disgusting degenerate beta leftist porn is not worthy of a man who aspires to be something greater, and to RISE ABOVE the degeneracy and the filth and the scum and the whores hahahahaha.



849 pm wed sept 4 2013

well, shoulda been lights out 1 hour and 49 minutes ago, i am gonna pay for this tomorrow!

but the time was spent constructively, googling
“how to live in a van”

nice stuff there.

the HuffPo and Willamette Weekly articles both forgot to Check Their Marxist Privilege, hahahaha, You’d think they would take the Egalitarian, Antiplutocratic Ethos of Vandwelling more seriously, rather than some Hipster Experiment.

then remembered PROF STEVE ILARDI said something about laptop puters being blueshifted or being Too Bright, even more than Television Screens, so looking at your Laptop at night will hurt your sleep. So you can download a PRogram than Redshifts it, and makes it easier on your eyes, and hopefully gives you better sleep. I quickly found this program called f.lux which installed in 2 seconds, detects what time it is where you are, and automatically shifts the red up depending how much past sunset it is. Since I had sunset about 50 minutes ago, it went pretty quickly into the red.

not bad, really quite neat actually, I recommend it. unless it is spyware telling the nsa that I have cp on my computere or sommat, hahahaha. but they seem like open source hippies.

thurs pm

The redshift Seemed immediately easier on the eyes. Not Bad!

* Protip: Experiment with Fun Computer Programs like that. Also see Linux. Wouldn’t mind becoming a Linux Professional one day, especially if it resulted in a Sweet Fulltime Job with Benefits Like Your Parents could get the day they Graduated High School.

Of course, arguments between Linux Geeks are real stupid. But at least these Wizard Virgins have compelling enough hobbies to a. make them employable b. distract them from being wizard virgins.

Plus I swear it (all linuxes) run faster and better than windows, hahahaha.

I’m just happy if it doesn’t crash every 5 minutes like my old computer. but that was because of a BAD MOTHERBOARD. Protip: if your computer crashes every 5 minutes, and you’ve tried linux and windows, and reinstalled windows, reformatted hard drive, then it’s probably a BAD MOTHERBOARD.

Now pay me $9.

YEPPERS, It all boils down to: do you want to GROW UP, have a Good Work Ethic, do you WANT to WORK, will you just GROW UP and be an ADULT, take RESPONSIBILITY, take PRIDE in your WORK, stop SCREWING AROUND, have some AMBITION, have some DIRECTION, want to BE something, stop screwing around, too OLD to be acting this way, take something SERIOUSLY, pay your DUES, go to SKOOL and get TRAINED in a SKILL so you can make a LIVING, really UNDERSTAND the value of a DOLLAR, WORK for your money, not have everything HANDED to you like a Trust Fund Baby or a Welfare Queen. Jesuschrist you’re 26 years old already, you’re THIRTY years old already, the man’s 40 years old and never had a substantial JOB, you can totes see the theme I am Developing here.

“SOMF” = Sit On Muh Face. Oh Yeah that 18YOQT can TOTES SOMF. She can Somf too, ok, she can somf too, she’s 18, prob wouldn’t be able to somf in 10 years, but she’s 18, so what the hey, all 18yos can somf.

Heh. Just get COMFORTABLE with the LIE that you “HAVE ABOUT ONE YEAR TO GO on Muh CompSci / ElecEngin degree.”

Because you’re looked at as a Leper by Respectable Society if you say you’re Taking A Break From College. NonBurnouts see you as a Trashy Burnout. Lump you in with the JUGGALOS. Not that it MATTERS what people think, however it DOES matter when Most of your Acquaintances are WINNERS vs most of your acquaintances are Drugged Up Burnout JUGGALOS. COME ON.

So just LIE, LIE, LIE, LIE, LIE, LIE, LIE, LIE, and LIE some more.

It’s fine because it’s not REALLY an important thing to lie about, like oh yeah honey I LOVE you or YES the baby’s yours, etc. It’s just small talk on something stupid that’s really none of those stupid son of a bitches business anyway. So Just LIE about it.

like the guy who wrote the wilamette weekly article about Why I Am Going To Live in a Van. He starts the article with how he was a loser, working at the coffeeshop after Graduation, sees his Successful peers passing him by, he stops being the “charismatic quaint underemployed young at heart dude” to being “the sad bitter pathetic too old for this useless degree service industry lifer”, and so he decided to quit his deadend job and go live in a van in portland.

and then there was a comment: oh i bet the author’s parents are real proud of their son, they paid for his college so he can be a huge loser, if he were a responsible person and paid for his own college and took out huge loans like responsible people, then he wouldn’t be screwing around in this screwoff job, he’d have to get a PROPER job FAST to start paying off his huge loan, not be paid to Navel Gaze About The Meaning Of It All, Maaaaaaan.

Responsible Adults don’t have that LUXURY!

But lemme make clear that I’m prob MORE on the author (Pete’s) side than against.  Although his Naivete and Privilege is a bit embarrassing. I could tell a similar story, but I WOULDN’T, because it’s like laying a weakass hand out on the table, so you better fold instead.

I’m kinda telling that LAME, STUPID, WEAK story right NOW, only I would NEVER tell it under my REAL NAME like he has, never as a Paid Writer For A Hip Weekly in a Hip City. But on a Free Anonymous WordPress Blog, sure!

heh. monday. sept 9 2013. moody monday. gonna have to start going on Longer Powerwalks. almost ridiculous how much time i have been spending In Bed (NOT with 18yoqt’s,  god that is starting to get annyoing and frustrating, have been Praying to You Know Who to Protect Me From: Lust, Anger, Hatred, Fear, Despair. Please help me not lose my mind over the 90000000 young girls I see all day, give me strength, protect me, have mercy on me, help me, help me to think no negative thoughts, be they anger, or hate, or pessimism, or lust, or despair, so many different kinds of negative thoughts!

Rearranging the NEtflix Queue is a good distraction. Job Search related stuff is NOT. Skool related is NOT. Young Girls is NOT. Breaking Bad IS.

Great Episode last night (Cliffhanger of huge shootout in the desert between DEA and the Nazis, no clue of who lives or dies other than Walt will live until the last episode. Jesse prob won’t die but he could. I really don’t want Hank to die but it’s not hopeful for him, he is the one most likely to die. Actually Gomez is even more likely and I don’t want him to die either.

I would like to believe that Vince Gilligan is more Morally Mature than most Hollywood Filth Peddlers and  even if the ending is ugly and Innocent People Die, also that Walt will somehow be punished for his own evil deeds. Getting Away Scot Free would be the Edgy Postmodern Postmoral solution, and even though BB/VG Plays with and frustrates the audience, I HOPE THAT is not his endgame. That would be wayyyy too SWPL and Marxist.

*Go On Longer Powerwalks. that is the only good thing I can come up with today. I am toying with the idea of walking next to the Roaring Major Road for 10 minutes just so I can extend my Powerwalk by 10 minutes. It will still be an 80% quiet peaceful walk.

So I am in the unique position of seeing 900000000000 18 year old girls a day. this is not normal. most men my age are “lucky” to see ONE 18yoqt per day. heh. so this is the unique cross I have to bear, hehehehe. but the lord wouldn’t give me anything I couldn’t handle. just a problem with a solution, and the solution is, call on the lord to help you contain your lust, that will naturally be stoked by seeing 10000000000000 qts every day, there would be a problem if you DIDN’T get aroused.  but to deal with the opposite problme of too much, you call upon your lord. The ROCK.

tuesday. mental impairment. cognitive impairment. bad decision making. Learning Difficulties. Hard To Learn. Hard To Think. Hard to Get good Grades and get into HYPSM. Moral Lazy Loserness can make Smart People DUMB. Just like it feels like your arms and legs weigh 900000 pounds and you can’t physically move, your brain feels the same way, you can’t Think, you can’t be Creative, you get intellectually lazy and only search for the quickest and easiest answer, you don’t like to think and learn, skool and college becomes impossible and you hate it.

think of the Inventive Spirit. some tv show showed An Inventor who was totally obsessed with Working to Put His New Technological Ideas into Action, he couldn’t think of anything else, and of course he won a Macarthur Genius Fellowship. We certainly don’t have that problem!!!

Or Motivated Students who Hit The Books with Passion and Intensity, vs Lazy Stupid Amerifats who can’t wait to get out of skool so they can watch TV and play vidya and become failures, because Thinking Is Too Hard and Not Fun.

You know which one is the better choice, it’s obvious, that doesn’t take a lot of Hard Difficult Thought!

But what? It’s so hard to Do the Mental Heavy Lifting without the Carrot Dangling in front of you? The 18YOQTs and the Good Lower Middle Class Fulltime Job Dangling in Front of you to make Taking Out An Unforgiveable Mortgage and spending 10000 hours of Mental Heavy Lifting Worth It????

Heh. yeah, Kinda, that’s what indeed.

Good News: I’m not sure that having a Three-Way with two 18yoqts could be considered decadent or perverted, as long as you’re not doing anything perverted within that three-way. IE any of the disgusting stuff you see in Porn.

OK here’s a good protip, thought as I was sitting in the car waiting to Start Underwork, Superearly in the morning: I am a big fan of Anger. I am sick and angry of people who say Anger Is A Bad Thing.

But you need to take a look at every instance of anger you Feeeeel and say, is THIS anger HELPING me?  and if not, then eradicate THAT anger. But not EVERY Anger! Just the anger that can’t help you directly.

Example: getting angry at annoying obnoxious stupid rude subhuman animalpeople. YES they’re annoying and awful, so your anger is NOT misplaced….however, you being angry at them does not HELP YOU. So Drop It.

If you HAVE TO see Too Many Young Cute Teen Girls every day, then simply call on God to Protect and Help you, and make an effort not to look at ALL the girls. Try to IGNORE them. You don’t have to look at EVERY Girl and think Perverted Thoughts about Every Single One. Think about yourself having a Nonperverted Threeway with your Two Favorite ones, if you HAVE to think of SOMETHING. Nonperverted = no roughness, no fetishes, no Gaping, no slobbering, no “money shots”, no bukkake, no stretching, no BDSM, no S&M, nothing Pornographic! Porn == Perversion!!! You know what those Perverted Lords Of Lies (tm Roissy/Heartiste) have come up with now? “Prolapse Party”!!! I don’t need to confirm that one for you! And they’re just gonna continue down that path.

If Men and Women can be so different, is it really so inconceivable that two races can be so different? Yeah there probably is a Large “Environmental Component”, but IMHO there’s a Large Genetic Component as well (50/50), AND, more importantly,

we have to LIVE with those differences. It’s not gonna benefit our own lives one damn bit to say WHY are there these differences. (It MIGHT benefit our children, but probably NOT!) ( AND, More importantly, in order to Live to HAVE children, you need to Benefit Yourself FIRST, by getting a good job, making money, and being successful! A Winner not a loser!!)

So don’t let Women (or Girly Men!!) give you stress about being a Little Racist or a Little Sexist. On the other hand, don’t get a Swastika tattoo on your Face (or Neck!) Because that’s just Trashy. RISE ABOVE THE TRASH AND FILTH OF LIFE.

I was just thinking, Men are way less STRESSFUL than Women; you will have a much more PEACEFUL life the more you remove Women from your life. Women Are No Fun. Stressful, Not Chill, make you Worry, and FOR WHAT?? FOR WHAT?? IS IT WORTH IT???

(This mainly applies to 18yoqt’s. If you have NonQTs that you are Platonic Friends with, I guess that’s ok. Or your Mom or female relative .

My new Pray’N’Ignore Plan isn’t working out too well. So don’t give up on it!!

* Useful Protip: If you stop and think of the last time you had some Delicious Chinese or Thai Comfort Food, and you can’t really remember, it’s been at LEAST a month, then by god, you have a new Priority #1. That is part of your Prescription For Curing Whatever this Satanic, Unholy, Nihilistic Soul Disease is.

Warning: Eat delicious Chinese and Thai Comfort Food TOO often and you WILL turn into a Fat Sack O’ Sh1t.

Amerilard. Amerifat. Don’t Be That.

But don’t FORGET to eat it ever, either. You know what I’m thinking!!

Heh. ROTATE your comfort foods. For example, if you eat too much PIZZA, then you forget to eat Thai, and then you’re getting Fat off pizza alone, and not even enjoying it as much, as if you had some delicious Thai in there.

Or some good ol Fashioned General TSow’s Chicken. Yum!

* Every Day, every hour you are at your Underjob, IS a RESUME BUILDER. You just need to think and write creatively about it. 5 hours at your underjob making minimum wage? 5 Solid Gold Resume Building Bullet Points. Whaddya mean Not Really?? Yes really. Simply BS Better. Bullsh1t Better. It’s ALL Bullsh1t. And it would be great to be making a Living Wage for your Bullsh1t. Maybe even Upper Working Class. Maybe even Lower Middle Class. MAYBE EVEN Upper Lower Middle Class!!!!!!!!!1

I like Spongebob and I like Regular Show, but this new show “Uncle Grandpa,” by god is that retarded as f00k. That is so stupid it WILL poison your mind. Not even funny.

Possible Netflix Hack: Put discs (disc mailing plan) that have a “SHORT WAIT” at the VERY TOP (#1) of your queue. Odds are, Netflix will mail you an EXTRA “courtesy disc” because your local warehouse is not as likely to have these discs. Not sure if this works for “long wait”. I think then, you just wait. But with Short Wait, both you and netflix are gambling, and sometimes you win. Not sure if you should do this ALL THE TIME. (There’s not that many “Short Wait” discs out there!) But Half The Time? Sure!

* The Slim Playstation 2 is HORRIBLE at playing DVDs. A Cheap $20 Walmart DVD player will play DVDs the Ps2 can’t even recognize. Heh. At least with my instances of these models.

Join the Army. Just do it already. chances are, when you score high on the standardized test, they will put you somewhere where you won’t be killed. And know that less than 50% of military enlisters are killed or even wounded anyway!

Unless you’re so angry and your mind so clouded that you underperform on the IQ test, so you look like idiot cannon fodder. Then prob your chances of getting killed increase. OOPS. well, if you get killed by terrists then you get remembered as A Hero, and you won’t go to Hell like if you Killed Yourself!

Hilarious Story Idea: Suicidal Religiouses who are too afraid of Going To Hell to Kill Themselves, so they “unconsciously” go to ridiculous lengths to get other things or people to kill them, kinda like “Death By Cop,” but getting hilariously creative with it.

Pay Me $9 For That Idea!

However it might explain why so many Drug Addicts and Alcoholics and Compulsive Types do the Self Destructive things they do! They don’t want to directly kill themselves, for whatever reason, so they INDIRECTLY kill themselves.

132pm  not as busy in terms of quantity, but quality of idiots is starting to wear me down, plus I am on an Energy Trough and can’t Deal as Effectively, plus loud noisy animals in the vicinity, creating a nonpeaceful setting. SERENITY NOW! PLEASE LORD HAVE MERCY! GIVE ME STRENGTH! PROTECT ME! JESUS AND MARY! and the 18 year old gurls continue unabated.

This is all part of the Karmic Debt I’m paying, so I can’t complain. I spent X years acting stupid, so now I’m gonna get X years of Punishment right back, it is right and just.

x = ?

At least 8 years Wasted, at most, 13. So what age does My Karmic Debt Paying end? At earliest, 34; At latest, 39. approximately.  Well that’s not so bad, can probably have a Useless Masters Degree completed and paid for by then! Berspankme University Online Masters Of Management Information Systems or Bust!

wed 9 11

yep 911 was 12 years ago. That was right about the time I (narciss) starting going off The Right Path.

Woke up at 3 am in the midst of a dream about a girl I hadn’t seen in 8 years. she was REAL cute, doesn’t take much effort to get REAL perverted there, lord she could have SOMF ALL DAY, EVERY DAY. I never took action with her because she had a Boifran at the time, funny enough, a kinda soft pasty niceguy, that if he hadn’t had the real elite career ahead of him that he did, normally could never pull a girl that cute. Girl was bubbly and flirtatious even to me, gave me the thought that I could steal her if I tried, but I didn’t. Wouldn’t cross that line at the time, now I would.

Sucks to think of long gone people and times, however, there was never any Pain associated specifically with HER. so that was good. The thought of her SOMF may lift my mood thru the Long Day, hahahaha.

SOMF, I don’t think, is necessarily perverted, or TOO perverted. Just be careful. Cause it can GET perverted real quickly. Especially when the girl is THAT young and cute!

She wasn’t even 18, thank god, she was like 21, and STILL SMOKIN. College Girl, hahahahaha.

* if you really screw something up at underwork, because it was complicated, and you were flustered, and you can’t be everywhere at once, and you felt angry and horrible after, well then…… ask yourself what you could have done to make that situation a Win instead of a Fail….and THEN PRETEND YOU DID! because it’s not worth getting upset over.

* THEN: I was watching the Local TV News Daily Job Advice Segment, and today they talked about how you should “Speak In Stories”, and make everything a Story. Now they didn’t explain that fully but they didn’t need to, I got enough out of it. Basically speak in full sentences and tell brief but purposeful stories of how you achieved something specific. SO, write out a one-paragraph STORY of how you Pwned that Stressful Work Situation, then memorize that story and practice telling it in front of a mirror.

Basically, you can make stories even when you think you can’t. And you can turn bad things into good things, even if you’re just hypothetically saying what you COULD do. But make it sound like you Already Did that. And That is exactly the kind of lying you can get away with.  Pretend you did the good thing. And maybe you might get the chance to actually DO the good thing in the future, and then you WON’T be lying. Win Win.

Or just move to North Dakota, where you don’t have to have a Masters Degree to Get An Entry Level Fulltime Upper Working Class Job, you just have to have a PULSE and not show up DRUNK.

It probably doesn’t even HAVE to be an Oil Job, it can be a job in the booming Bakken/Williston area. Like I wouldn’t be surprised if there are Moar Health Care / Physical Therapist / Medical Assitant jobs in that area too, from all the oilmen falling off oil rigs and breaking their backs immediately, or breaking their backs gradually over the 100 hour weeks of Hard Work, hehehehe.

if they ask you why you were underemployed before, tell them because you don’t have a masters degree and you don’t interview well, hahahaha. you get nervous in interviews. that’s why.

* If you haven’t had Ice Cream in a while, go to the store and get some SMORES Ice Cream. It is Delicious and I have not been able to stop thinking about it. Smores flavor. Warning: eat too much and you WILL turn into an amerifat.

* don’t have kids, don’t get married, live in a van, save your money, invest in gold and guns, maybe try a Roth IRA, MAYBE.

take care and RISE ABOVE perversion and despair with the help of the LORD.


tuesday june 18 2013

* I was/am always jelly of people who found college easy, or the best time of their lives, or better than high school, or anything other than a horrific waste of time and money. I personally found college to be 9000000000 times worse than high school….although I worked harder and had a much better Good Habits-to-Bad Habits Ratio in high school. But even in terms of time, money, and effort, it would seem College easily Fails a Cost Benefit Analysis. You can spend as many years in College as you did in Grade School AND High School COMBINED, plus you’re PAYING for this, where you’re not necessarily “paying” (directly, explicitly) for pre-college education. And the Competition is much worse, and you’re playing for much bigger stakes: A Sweet $10 an hour Upper Working Class Fulltime Entry Level Job. You can’t just be Above Average like in High School. You need to take classes that are 9000000 times HARDER, 900000000000 times more EXPENSIVE, AND be in at LEAST the Top 20% of your class, to get that sweet prize, and if you’re not, you shouldn’t even BE there. 80% of Students should just Drop Out of College and STARVE THE BEAST. STARVE. THE. BEAST. Just be like F00k This Genocide, I’ll SAVE MY MONEY and WORK AT STARBUCKS WITHOUT A DEGREE.

* But my “advice” is certainly clouded by my own negative experience.

* I cannot stop thinking of Obese, Balding, 34-year old laid-off men in the Community College Library, taking Summer Classes, and studying in the library doing homework and school stuff or job search FROM OPEN TO CLOSE EVERY SINGLE DAY. THEY PRACTICALLY LIVE THERE.

* I think, well I certainly don’t have that kind of work ethic, I want to quit school every time I get through one hard class like Calc 2. Then I take the Summer Off and Rage Against College and also get lazy.

* I could only personally recommend taking stupidass easy filler prereqs classes like Management 101 or Psychology 101 over the summer. I took Management 101 and it was the easiest thing ever. Besides meeting for 4 hours every week, hahahaha. But no papers, a couple of multiple-choice exams which may have been Open Notes, the biggest thing was one power point presentation we had to make and present before the class.

* But how is a Mickey Mouse class like this gonna give you a Competitive Advantage to get that Sweet $10 an hour FT job?

* Heh. There is this stereotype of College Students As Procrastinators. At least there was in My College Days, and now my age is showing. I think if anything, College Kids these days are Better Workers, More Competitive, Better Students, Better Habits, not necessarily all stupid and lazy like some of us old farts say. But yeah in my day, things weren’t as Ruff Out There, so everybody PRocrastinated, myself included. Still Do. Can’t help but think I was a MUCH BIGGER procrastinator than average, so that’s why I became a MUCH BIGGER LOSER than average!

* So Don’t Procrastinate. Hehhehehe. Much easier said than done, amirite, not like flipping a switch. It’s like changing a bad attitude into a good attitude. Bad habits into good habits.

* Can’t get that Obese Balding 34 year old man out of my thoughts. You think HE has a Young QT3.14 College Gurlfran? Hell No! He’s LUCKY to pull 40 year old Single Momz with Neck Tattoos from Plenty of Fish! And who’s gonna hire him when companies can get sh1tloads of young, beautiful, 21 year old grads from More Prestigious Schools? SO why doesn’t he just Give Up Now, when all the Odds are against him? It may sound like I’m tearing this guy apart, but I ADMIRE him A LOT for his EXEMPLARY Work Ethic, Good Attitude, and Perseverance. I wish I could BE like him! WHo would hire him? I would hire him in a heartbeat! If I ever had a position of Hiring Power, hehehe.

* I make it sound worse than it is. If he keeps up with his Good Attitude and Good Work Ethic, he WILL eventually get a Sweet Upper Working Class Job. Because that attitude gives him the perseverance to keep Working Long Hours Day after day without giving up, and THAT”s what will eventually get him A Job.












this picture becomes much more relevant in a little bit…..











* So back to our fundamental question: how do we become that guy? How do we change our bad attitudes into a good attitude like his? You think HE never gets moments of doubt, where he wants to give up? You think he never wants to Run Home And Cry To Mama because he’s too old and fat and failure to Pull A Young College Age Gurlfran QT that are Literally SURROUNDING him every day at College? What’s HIS secret?

* Perhaps Religious Faith In God.





Even if you are not Catholic or Christian I think these prayers could be useful. For Agnostics too! But certainly not for you INTELLECTUALLY SUPERIOR FEDORA WEARING ATHEISTS! COME BACK WHEN YOU’RE REALLY DESPERATE!

* Or maybe he jerks off to porn the entire time he is not at the college studying. Heh. There was a 4chan r9k thread a few days ago (didn’t save it!) saying that “No Fap” was BS Bunkum, that Porn DOESN’T Hurt your brain or Sex Life, that that Movement is headed by Scientific PARIAHS, and that all these Neckbeards that think they’re doing themselves a FAVOR by quitting Porn or Jerking Off for 30 days really AREN’T. And that the people who think Porn IS a problem really have ANOTHER UNDERLYING PROBLEM that MAKES them think that, a problem like Depression or Social Anxiety or Sexual Anxiety or Autism or NEET or Morally Lazy Loserness.

* I say f00k these f4gg0ts, who CARES if the Your Brain On Porn guy is a “PARIAH”, give it a try ANYWAY for 30 days. And if you “HAVE” to watch porn to get a “release”, then only do it once every THREE days, and try to watch something Vanilla.

* Jesus Christ, even say 12 years ago, Anal Sex was considered Kinda Fetishistic! And now it seems 90% of Porno Vidyas with a Young Cute Girl, ends up with her getting Viciously Reamed in the Ass at some point, just a matter of course! THIS is EXACTLY what I’m talking about! You think you’re gonna be VICIOUSLY REAMING your QT College Gurlfran Up the 4SS Every Night before Cuddling?

* In short, I lean more towards the Your Brain On Porn “PARIAHS” than the Fedora Atheist Scientist College f4gs who say “that’s not scientifically valid, you just need therapy, and taking a break from vicious asspounding porn won’t help you one bit.” f00k THEM.


may 30, 2013

* If you are a Regular Coffee Drinker, NEVER regularly buy coffee from Starbucks. They are SO Expensive. Some f4gg0ts buy coffee from Starbucks EVERY DAY. This adds up to like $10000 a YEAR. MAKE YOU OWN COFFEE, you will save SO MUCH money that way. Go To Walmart and buy one of those Ridiculously Big Mugs that can hold an Entire Pot of Coffee, if you wanna be ridiculous about it.

* Go to Walmart and buy a BPA-Free water bottle to drink your water from.

* If you make Super Repetitive Bedroom Black Metal, at least try to come at it from an Electronic Music Producer perspective and do some Studio Trickery to play with the sounds a little bit. If you repeat the same music for 15 minutes straight, it’s gotta at least SOUND good. ishygddt.jpg Something can be “Ambient” without being BORING.

* If Modern-Day Deathspell Omega sounds too TRYHARD to you, do not neglect to give OLD Deathspell Omega a try. But not “Infernal Battles” because the sound is GODAWFUL. But “Inquisitors of Satan” and “Manifestations”, stuff from that period, is VERY tasty, and VERY different from their TRYHARD stuff. OK this is not a MUSIC blog.

* If you HAVE to Jerk-off, then at LEAST jerk-off to your IMAGINATION, NOT watching that Porn POISON. And imagine Good Clean Wholesome Sex, not decadent perverted weird sex. IMHO, both the Religiouses AND the mainstream media get it deadly WRONG re Sex. Religious is too Sex-Negative, and Mainstream is Too Sex-Positive, to the point that it Celebrates Perversion and Poison. It can be hard to find that Goldilocks sex, our Men don’t even know HOW to IMAGINE it. So Practice imagining it. Good Old Fashioned PIV, Bond-Forging, Intimate S with a Beautiful Young Moral Woman. Almsot forgot, And then there’s also Emo F4ggy The Unmasculine Beta Male CRIES during/after Sex. You don’t want that either. Although those poor f4gg0ts probably are closer to the correct mindset, of Sex Not Being Separated From Love, of Sex Being Important and Meaningful, as opposed to Throwaway Decadence. They just need to BE MOAR MASCULINE about it.

* Take A Gap Year to Work A Crappy Job And Prepare For College. Plan every single goddamn SECOND of the next four years. The three months of summer will prob not be long enough to do this, hence the Gap Year. You want to Hit The Ground Running SO Hard and SO Fast because this is your ONE CHANCE to be a Winner at Life, Screw It Up, and you’ll be a Loser At Life, always wishing you could get in a Magical Nonexistent Time Machine and go back to this moment. The preparation will involve: picking the best STEM major; researching the Profs so you can start researching with a Prof AS A FRESHMAN. Then, researching with AT LEAST FOUR different Profs, a different one per year, AND getting AT LEAST THREE GOD-TIER INTERNSHIPS, one for each of the three summers. Any Less than that, and you WILL be a failure, but if you pass that test, you’ll be SET FOR LIFE.

* So now you see how this can take some TIME to PREPARE FOR. If you don’t have a VERY detailed plan from your FIRST DAY AS A FRESHMAN, GTFO, YOU SHOULDN’T BE THERE. You don’t need to KILL YOURSELF because you’re still young, so take a Gap Year, come back when you ARE ready.

* ALSO: during that Gap Year, GO SEE A MASCULINE, JUNGIAN SHRINK/COUNSELOR even if you think you don’t need to. Think of it as a TUNE UP so that you can Stay At The Top of Your Game The Next Four Years. Because if you have any Chinks in the Armor, you WILL be weakened, and if you’re weakened, you WILL fail in life. You don’t want to fail in life, so you have to come in strong and stay strong, and going to see a Masculine Jungian Shrink Before all this is HOW you COME IN strong. DO IT. You don’t need to see HIM EVERY DAY, just a couple times.

* Heh. I don’t want TOO MUCH of this to be directed to 17 year olds. No more than 40%. At least 60% needs to be directed to people who Screwed Up In The Past. I can’t just tell you all to KILL YOURSELVES, because then I’d be telling myself to kill myself, and I don’t want to do that! We HAVE to find a way to bounce back from the Huge Mistakes of our past, it won’t be EASY, it won’t be QUICK, but we HAVE to find a way!!

* Write extremely ANGRY STORIES where you Sublimate your anger. They can be the angriest, most negative stories ever written, ending with huge murder suicides, not merely punching people in the face! I wonder if there is a site with stories like this. Because they aren’t made into Mainstream Books or Movies.

* Obviously do not ACT on the angry, violent things in these stories.

* Also try to make there be some underlying Good Moral to the story, not completely nihilistic or decadent. Like the protagonist does not kill people just because he’s a psychopath, or his goal in life is to kidnap young women and keep them captive in a Sex Dungeon and do Godawful Fetishes. Heh. Unplug your mind from Torture Porn Filth, you’re being poisoned.














* If you see some job with 900000000 requirements that you don’t technically have but could easily LEARN, then LIE about SOME of them in your Cover Letter, drop some of the names, so that you cover 73% of the things listed. Lie To Get An Interview. Now hopefully they will grant you an interview because you mentioned 73% of the 900000000000 specific things they wanted. Schedule the interview for anything but the very next day so you have time to prepare. Then CRAM YOUR BRAIN with Youtube Vidyas about How To Use InformationManagementSystemByLipschitz9000(tm). If you don’t want to lie and say you use these systems On-The-Job, because certainly you don’t, but perhaps you SHOULD think about Lying, but if you don’t feel like lying about that, lie and said you studied the system in a Management Informationships Systems Course (point to a course on your transcript that MAY be conceivably related to that) and say you were so Interested in it that you did an Independent Study on the System, far above and beyond what was covered in the class. (Even though really you just watched VIDYAS for an HOUR. An Hour Per Buzzword.)

* Lie About Your Experience Basically. In an Ideal World, they would be able to see you’re OBVIOUSLY INTELLIGENT, but Intelligence Is RACIST. However TRAINING is EVIL. So you have to somehow Demonstrate, with lies, that you are PRE-TRAINED. This is the kind of Advanced F4GG0TRY we have to contend with!

* I was referring to a “bla bla technician” job that listed an Associates Degree for Education and which starts at 31k. Technically Loser Money, but still a Fulltime, Benefits, Office, UNION job. Meaning you can’t get LAID OFF, and you could go all the way up to 45k. NOT BAD UH? Of course by that time, you will have gained enough Momentum, showed them what a f00king BOSS you are, and use this as a stepping stone. But sometimes you need a stepping stone to get to the stepping stone. Heh. You need an Unpaid Internship BEFORE the Unpaid Internship, College BEFORE The College. Jesus Christ Almighty God In Heaven.

* Copy and paste right from the Qualifications/Responsiblities directly into your Cover Letter, then once in the Cover Letter, move the stuff around to make it look like you didn’t direct copypaste.

* if you have to fill out a 10 hour application, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD FIND SOME WAY TO EXPORT IT BEFORE YOU SEND IT OFF. They won’t GIVE you a way to “export” it, so get creative. Copy and Paste everything to a Text File, so you can Recopy and Repaste it later, and the future applications will only take 5 hours rather than 10 hours. But that will make a BIG DIFFERENCE in cutting down the FRUSTRATION of having to LOOK UP and WRITE all that tedious stuff down. ONE AND DONE. DON’T LET YOUR WORK GET THROWN INTO THE TRASH.

* If you ACT Score Is Less Than OR EQUAL TO 34, To A Total Loser You Will Amount, And Nothing More! hahahahahahahahahahaha ya like that poem DONTCHYA

1284 ok done. I mean 1500.



may 18 2013

heh gonna do one more today. Intro Series.

I will also talk about Luv, Infatuation, whatever you want to call it. I think they’re basically the same thing, and when people say “It’s just infatuation, it’s not true love.” then why does it crush your soul for like two years at least per person?

And I will be talking alot about Careeeeeeeers and Money and How To Make A Living.

So that’s about it. Let the repetition on these themes outlined in the past 5 posts commence.

Luv is when you want to monogamously be with a Special Someone, you put them on a pedestal, you want to marry them, you want to have babies with them, you don’t just want to have S with them, you want to have loving, tender, stare em in the eyes Bond Forging S with them and only them for the rest of your life, you want to Cuddle with them always, they are your Waifu, you are obsessed thinking about them every minute of the day, for years and years.

And you probably have very little experience of these things working out. at best you might “date” the girl for a few months and then she Dumps you, which you take VERY badly and take years and years to get over. At BEST.

More typical I think would be Friendzoning. I guess that would be the worst. I would MUCH prefer just to be rejected outright. Because friendzone is gay as f00k on both sides. The woman should know better, and the guy should know better.

I have been in Luv with 7, possibly 8 women in my life. The last one I was rejected outright and that was way better than Friendzone. I wasn’t gonna TAKE friendzone. I would have said, TAKE your friendzone and shove it up your 4ss. which is the proper response! I honestly don’t understand all this fuss about the Friendzone, when All Guys have the Power (even huge omegas!) to END the Friendzone with that one simple sentence! That does not take 200 credits of Hard Maths and 100000 hours of Unpaid Internship and Years of Grinding. That just takes one simple sentence anyone, even the world’s hugest omega virgin, can say. Never forget that.


Heh. I will talk about The Friendzone more, because it gets talked about a lot, but it’s SO EASY to fix.

It indicates that Many Wimmin are Too Rude, Narcissistic, and Horrible to realize how Bad it is; AND it indicates how faggy, omega, unmasculine, and Sissfied these “niceguys” are.

Women aren’t attracted to Douchebags BECAUSE they’re Douchebags; they’re attracted to Douchebags because they’re MASCULINE. You can be Masculine without being a Douchebag. I don’t see why anyone would WANT to be an annoying douchebag. But I can TOTES see why every man should want to be MASCULINE!

Just Being Masculine will fix a lot of your problems with Women.

I call annoying or awful women “Wimmin”. These are the kinds of women you should STAY AWAY FROM because they Poison Your Soul with their own Poisoned Soul. If you can Use them as “On-Demand Booty Call,” I guess go ahead, but even that has its risks, plus it’s not upholding a good World Morality. In your Ideal World women wouldn’t do that, would they.

I also prescribe NO CONTACT when you get rejected or dumped or Friendzoned (if you weren’t smart enough to use the Immediate One Sentence Fix It, if you got Friendzoned!). NO CONTACT. It’s the best and only way. DELETE EVERYTHING, ABSOLUTELY EVERYTHING, and have NO CONTACT, and maybe in about 9 months you can move on. Assuming you didn’t actually Date or God Forbid have Intimate Tender Moments with the girl. Then it would prob take longer!

But you do have time. Unless you’re dying of Cancer. Time that you can use to write a Blog or Book like This and Help Other Men who are having similar problems.

Heh. Time to work on your careeeeer. Sort of joking. Because skool is so horrible and evil that MAYBE you can finally graduate with an Electrical Engin degree at age 80 and then maybe hope for a minimum wage part time dishwashing job.

Some might say, time to work on your Game and Bang B1tches. See I am very concerned with DECADENCE, and that might give away my other blog, hahaha. It’s DECADENT and UNBECOMING of a man to go around Banging B1tches left and right like a PERVERTED SEX ADDICT. There are MORE IMPORTANT things in life. Plus just because Wimmin Like Being Treated As Meat, doesn’t mean YOU should like treating them as meat. Better to SHUN them at this point. But I will let you be Decadent Once A Month. And I’m sure many of you Kissless Virgins would be JUST FINE with that. I know I would!

I’m also generally against Pornography as a kind of Poison. Poisons the women in it, poisons the men who watch it, the more regularly they watch it. How often is too often? Once a day is DEF too often. Once a WEEK might be too often. Once a month is prob ok. But that sh1t is still HORRIBLE, that is NOT what Women Really Are. That Is The Worst Women Can Become….and you’re JERKING OFF to THAT??? Rots the soul. You can only help yourself by cutting back on the Porn.

I don’t care if the gurl you were in luv with sexts noods of herself taking it the 4ss from the whole lacrosse team. Then she’s a filthy f00king WHORE and you should have nothing to do with that kind of Human Garbage. RISE ABOVE.

Heh. As for me, I got better and better at picking women who were Not Whores to fall in luv with. Unfortunately, that didn’t make the luv any more successful. But I do think by Number 9, I will have learned my lesson. But for the first time in many, many, many years, I don’t have ANYBODY I’m Currently In Luv with. A Fresh and probably Positive Feeeeeeling, compared to being In Luv with somebody, and that SUCKING for whatever reason. Better to have NO ONE in that position. So I’m thankful for that.

So yeah. Just invite the girl to dinner at a halfway decent place, look her in the eye, BE MASCULINE, pay for her meal, make charming jokes, look her in the eye, BE MASCULINE, touch her arm a few times, and even if she’s st00pid as f00k she’ll get the hint that you like her.

But even with niceguy faggots who can’t even do Babby’s First Game like above, it’s AMAZING these gurls are so stupid they can’t understand that this Beta Orbiter who’s always around them doesn’t LIKE them, but is too omega to know how to show it, too feminized by the stupid culture and his broken family. “HUUURRRRR DURRRRRR Of course I friendzoned him, I didn’t KNOW that he LIKED me, he never SHOWED that he liked me, he just orbited around me for 900000 hours a day and was My Crying Shoulder.”

THEY KNOW. They HAVE to know. They just have THAT much of a knee-jerk reaction against beta, feminised, niceguy, UNMASCULINE men, that they will never be honest and say “Yeah, I KNOW you Liked me, even though you were too unmasculine to know how to show it.”

So it would be Great if they were more honest, but it’d also be great if You, and me, hahahahaha, were more MASCULINE.