sat oct 21

mar 4

heh. if you get mail mailed to you at your JOB is it legal for your employer to OPEN it hehehe, was the big idea i got yesterday. like if you got stem cells mailed to you from russia hahahaha. or shrunken pygmy heads from africa. weird stuff you dont want coming to your home if you live with other people hehe.

great soundtrack. in addition to the final fantasy 10 and 6 soundtracks. i guess playing vidya is not super terrible. but it is degenerate because you escape into that nostalgaic world. i am glad i cant do that with new games any more or else i would be a vidya addict.

still better than being a PORN addict tho.

well that gurl in dragon quest (aka dragon warrior) better cover those damn whore tits up, looks like a jooish whore. also it looks like anime. great game tho – great story, great gameplay, great music, etc. i spent 40 hours on it at least.

yeah i totally understand why men get so into video games. you get really pulled into this really interesting world where you cant wait to see what happens next. im glad im NOT drawn to it any more, because it really is naturally tempting. not to me though.

also thankful i am not helplessly, hopelessly attracted to little boys like a pederast either hahaha. thats gotta suck to have totally perverted fooked up desires and know it and just have it torturing you. the worst i have is a hopeless attraction to MJ. thats the closest thing. even that could be worse, i could be attracted to Opioids or Alcohol. I used to be really big on alcohol, but not anymore, dont even really THINK about it a lot. but MJ…..every damn day, multiple times a day.

i know local MMJ’s have large menus with a range of prices per 3.5 g, 14 g, 1 oz (28 g hahahaha) high and medium priced, indica and sativa, 50 different types of MJ. you get the one that best suits your needs. i would want to get a mid range (cheaper) indica. prob buy larger quantities to try to get discount. i guess that wouldnt be an issue if i had a card and could buy any time i wanted. since the opportunity never presents itself to me at this time, shit i would want to buy around $150 next time i had the chance, and get as much as i could for that.  because, like hanging out with an attractive young women, who the hell knows when youre gonna get that chance again. maybe 10 years, maybe never.

like how instead of spending 7 bucks on a pack of cigarets, i buy a 6 oz  bag of pipe tobacco for 7 bucks and 200 tubes for 3 bucks and essentially buy 10 packs of cigarettes for 10 bucks. the quality of the tobacco doesnt seem that damn bad whatsoever.

which is why i like the idea of buying “shake”. its not as A E S T H E T I C as big juicy buds….but its just the same stuff that falls off these big nugs, and the dillas seem to sell it at a discount. just sell me an oz of shake for 50 bucks hahahaha. instead of 400 bucks for an oz of Kind Loud Fire Buds.

went to church on this saturday afternoon and it was super boring. not that thats the worst thing in the world, but i almost fell asleep 3 times durig the mass. i WISH i could be that tired when i laid down to go to sleep at night!!!!!!

just imagine you are in CHURCH and you will be asleep in 20 minutes! maybe that way i could get to bed by 7 pm, or 8 pm. this 930 or 10 kinda sucks…..but i cant force myself to go to bed any earlier.

went from smoking like 6,7,8 cigarets a day to smoking 0 the past 2 days. not bad. not even getting intense cravings. i mean sure i could smoke a cig but im not DYING for one. shit im DYING more for mj. mj is more addictive than TOBACCO.

hehehe i literally fell asleep while just sitting here. not sure why so sleeping. got ok sleep yesterday. wish i was this tired when i went to bed on a Work Night! didnt even have any benedryl or valium tonight!!! maybe i am “catching up” from when i normally get up at 5 am, which by any account is pretty early, but i dont really mind, because its not that hard to Survive the job and i am thankful for that. shit for this i would get up at 4 am, maybe even 3 am. probably even 2 am hahahaha. so 5 am is tech sleeping in! but i know id like to go to bed at 7pm, but ive tried, i just cant, so i goto be closer to 9 or 10. now on a day off ive been tired as hell, almost falling asleep in church (it was boring af tho) and here, literally falling asleep at the poker table at 830 pm or so.

march 5

when somebody DUMPS you, NEVER beg for them back. NEVER ask them to reconsider. THEY DUMPED YOU. if they want to reconsider, you think they’re only gonna realize that at your pathetic insistence? NO, if they want to un-dump you, let that horse come to the water and drink of its own agency and volition and WILL. of course odds on this are very very low. vanishingly low. but i guess anythings technically possible. hahahaha.

of course, much easier said than done when you are getting dumped and your heart breaking.

i think going to a hooker might actually be a good thing for me. i mean i wish i could just pay a qt nonhooker to just hang out with me and be nice to me since its not secs per se i want……however i think having hooker secs with an attractive hooker would still serve my main goal of being more confident and less nervous around women. so for that alone it would be worth 300 bucks. or 400 bucks hahahaha.

but recently backpage took down its escort section after being pressured by FEDGOV. maybe it will be back up soon. well there are other websites. like the escort review or some shit. in fact those are probably better.

escort is code word for hooker that you can pay for secs. you just call it a dnation and say i am giving you a free will dnation for your TIME, imma just put this on the table over there. and then you do her up the ass hahahahaha. boldly go where many, many, many men have gone before. balls deep in a hookers ass for 100 dollars a half hour. aint no shame in that game hahahahahahaha.

hey i know literally not all women are like that. i know at least 2 or 3 decent good women. 4 or 5. married or getting married. shit even that woman was a good woman but she had a legit understandable moment of weakness. not like she was going out being an evil J, fooking 60000000 cox and murdering 600000000 babies and ruining 600000000 mens lives. she just got scared and ran away like ALL of us have done at some points in our lives. the end.

anyway i am kidna moving out of my women hate phase as well. I TOLD you it was only TEMPORARY. Now i just dont care. there are good women and bad women. i dont really want to make an effort to meet any women. i’d rather make an effort to get yuge bags of MMJ.

i think scrod is not an actual species of fish, its just random fish. what about cod? i dont REALLY care, i dont really like fish, but i do enjoy eating “fish and chips” on occasion. that is just fine. so that “fish” is usually “cod”. so what is “cod.”

i dont eat it for the taste of the fish, i eat it for the taste of the flaky batter hahahaha. and also because catholics in lent on fridays. cant eat beef hahahaha gotta eat “fish.”

sorry, not escort review, The EROTIC review. look up assfooking hookers on that site.

hmmm found an attractive looking local hooker for 140 an hour. very quickly. not bad! of course they blur out their face but she was white and not grotesque. prob dont let you put it in the ass for 140 an hour tho hahahahahaha.

she wont judge you if you cant get it up. she sees nothing but scumbags and weirdos and alcoholics and druggies all day. next to them you look like a winner. and she can probably get you some MJ hahahahaha. now im not saying to be abusive or even disrespectful to the hooker. but i sure am saying you can definitely ask, is it okay for me to put it in your ass and make you say, “im a dirty little wh0re who has taken 1000 cox! fook me in my filthy wh0re ass like the 9000 other men who have fooked me in the ass! i luv being fooked in the ass like a worthless 4n4l butt slut!” its not a crime to ask them to say it hahahahaha. me personally i would luv to get them to say self degrading things like that. but i wouldnt MAKE them if they didnt WANT to! i realize they are just doing a JOB, a very degrading, tough job. i have LESS respect for the NORMIE women that just treat secs and life as some kind of meaningless game. next to them, the hookers seem honest, or at least Woke.  i would get more pleasure out of getting normie gurls to say those degrading things. the actual hookers have been degraded enough.

but yeah. i still want MJ WAYYYYY more than i want a hooker.

so i guess i could just make a list of nearby cert places, print out the limited med records i do have, none of which have a qual condition, but just bring them as a sign of good faith, and expect to get rejected, but then plan to just cross it off the list and go to the next place the next week, and hopefully by the time i go to 30 places, i can get approval, and then get the card sent to a PO Box. repeat process when its time to renew.

of course the shady doctor can approve but the STATE can STILL reject it.

at that point i would just go see a diff doctor then hahahaha. make a spreadsheet.  dont go to a place unless they say theres no charge if you get rejected. ideally no charge even if they approve you but the STATE rejects you.

according to state data, they reject about 10% of applications, IIRC. no more info given there. other than we can assume they had a dr approve them. but maybe they didnt, maybe they forged a damn doctors signature. how big of a crime would that be. that HAS to be a felony. just saying.

and ive said before. when you get an rx for pain pills, that is usually strict as fook, i’d imagine. ONE refill of ten weakass pills. not UNLIMITED refills where you can go and buy 9000 doses of the drug every single day like you can with a MMJ card. you can go in and buy like 2 oz a day i think. 1 or 2 oz is the daily limit hahaha.

and i am sure there are cardholders who do that just to “re up” and sell to people without cards. would be interested in learning how the “legal” MMJ market has influenced the illegal market. not that its easy to get good data on illegal markets. has it made illegal MJ much cheaper? more in supply? better variety? more people selling? my guess is it really hasnt had any major impact at all, or else some reporter would have done a story about it in like the years since MMJ has been legal.

and i do know last year saw a 100% growth in our county of card holders since the year previous.

so does that mean the state will try to clamp down this year, or does that mean DOORS WIDE OPEN, BOYS!!!! YEEEEEHAWWWW!!!!!! those are two very different outcomes hahahaha. 180 opposite you could say.

ok sunday. go in tomorrow. get up at 5am. took 2 benedryl today, one at about 2 pm and another at about 5 pm. briefly dozed off around 4 pm, was so tired i couldnt even play cards or look at computer. has happened every day of the weekend hahahaha. its not like i am Starved for Sleep during the week either! but again i just wish i was tired like that when i went to bed at night and could just go to bed earlier and get a shitload of sleep for the day.

why not just go to a shady doc who prescribes shitloads of pain pills….because we established those docts are in short supply because of crackdowns by the dea, fedgov, etc. theres prob an automatic alert in fedgovs office whenever a doc prescribes over x pain pills a month.

state probably does NOT have anything similar for docs who do x number of MMJ certs a month.

how many falsified applications does the state get? i mean this isnt like a doctors prescription pad. its a pdf anyone can print off the state website. just need to know the doctors name, address, and license number….which i believe is all on the internet.

ive heard of local stings where a doctor would just prefill out hundreds of forms without seeing the patients. but that doctor was eventually caught and their license suspended. i wonder if anything happened ot the “patients.”

tfw your connection to the poker server is so shitty you keep dropping on a nice full 9 person table even though your internet isnt really bad per se, just your wireless. how do you get better wireless.

just fooking stupid. i dont need a fast connection, i just need a solid, unbroken connection, because there is action happening every second. folding, calling, checking, betting.

super frustrating. its not just the site, its just me. someimes it is just the site.  just sucks to WANT to play and to have a LOT of people on there who also want to play so you can have a nice 9 person table. doesnt’ happen all the time.

still fairly tired though. anticipate sleeping well tonight. just waiting till 8 pm to go lay down.

could not have internet like this if i were RUNNING A BUSINESS!!!!!

hopefully a reboot will help hahahaha.

ok rebooted and it did help. of course. it fixes everything. why? just because. no explanation. this is coming from a professional, paid computer expert. no reason.

well it did, for a minute, now its back to shitty again.

 

 

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MORE IMPOSTOR THAN DUNNING KRUGER

dec 5

WOW JUST WOW. heres a FIRST in mother fooking almost a year and a half, in fookin 16.5 almost 17 months to be exact, the famous first is that i went to a JOB today and earned MONAY. That much feelsgoodman but I also feel impostor syndrome, like i am a dumb weirdo and these people are giving me a chance but i am too slow on the uptake, im not taking that chance, i’m not ATTACKING it, and they will be disappointed in me.

the job itself seems SUPER LOW STRESS and everybody was chill and happy. I mean i have really hit the jackpot there. i should give some money to GOD right now for that. AND I know this woman that works there, i used to work with her 3+ years ago, she is a good person, saw her today.

there is technically a lot of stuff to learn but i didnt feel the PRESSURE to learn all this crazy shit FAST and EXPLAIN it to frustrated people who are gonna GRILL you on it. so its safe to say this job will be a LOT EASIER and a LOT LOWER STRESS than my previous job. which is awesome.

the people are nice and available for questions. HOLY SHIT.

on one hand i just want to survive one day at a time.

on the other hand, i want to ATTACK IT and SHOW INITIATIVE and PROVE MYSELF and EARN RESPECT.

i dont want to be a TIMID MILQUETOAST.

Like so one guy with a masters degree is helping the other guy with the masters degree with the software and I am watching and learning, and Im like these are successful people who are Good At Adulting, who have got masters degrees and Reaped The Benefits by having Good Career Jobs.

and here i am, a huge loser who cant get a job for 16 months sitting there trying to look smart and ask smart questions and act normal like i am a normie adult, when i am super far from being a normie adult.

i guess the thing is to “FAKE IT TILL YOU MAKE IT” and really i will have to do a lot less of that here.

just remind myself this is NORMAL the FIRST DAY OF A DAMN JOB.

its been a while since i had the FIRST DAY OF A NEW JOB. it has been fookin THREE YEARS since that. well, 2.95 years hahaha.

transitions can be stressful even if the job is not stressful.

be mindful. let the thoughts float away. the judgments about muh self. just try to be nice to the people.

i mean i am ALWAYS nice but i am also Timid and I don’t want that.

also i can’t do much because there is a lot that is tied to my email/login stuff, and apparently the IT dept has a Policy where they cant get my account set up until after I have started my first day.  not before!

well i gave them 30 minutes of unpaid time today just to tie up some meeting stuff, like talking to the boss, etc.

the people here are very chill about getting there on time hahaha. i forgot about that. this workplace, ive worked at it before, from about 2009 to about 2013, and there were many many things i liked about it. and i am seeing that much of that, like the chill setting and the nice people, might carry over. and here i will have even LESS direct customer contact. but muh customers will be a generally higher level. masters degree people hehehehe.

yeah but there are some people in the dept that DONT have a masters degree.

i decided not to bring donuts on the VERY FIRST DAY becuase that would look TRYHARD, like i am DESPERATE to be liked and accepted. i can bring donuts another day. prob my last day of this week which is thursday.

i asked them about coffee. people like to drink coffee. great i said. i have some folgers at home i can bring in for everyone to use. there is a mr coffee for folgers and also a keurig machine. a goddam keurig. i guess its not THAT fancy. i mean im open to having a cup of keurig once in a while but i am a folgers man every day.

i wore dark blue dress slacks and a decent fitting Poplin/Oxford Dress Shirt, white with blue stripes. I looked pretty good. I made a half joke about how I could wear a tie if you think that would be good.

Wore black skechers shoes which are NICE but they are also too BIG. I shouldnt have bought them but this was over 3 years ago I bought these shoes. I actually wore them when i was working at this place the first time. jeez.  so this time i would go to WALMART and get some nice black shoes for reasonable price.

i mean i just gotta RELAX and be MINDFUL and not FREAK OUT. i mean theres NO REASON to freak out. everyone is NICE, they are not pushing weird shit on me, all this is OBVIOUSLY in my own head.

BATTLEMIND.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Battlemind

military toughness mental training. how to stay cool in COMBAT. I should really look into this. just learned this word today hehehe.

i am thinking of making like 10 hamburgers patties at once on a cookie sheet in the OVEN. then put the burgers in the freezer. then i can eat a Hamburger for a snack while i am at muh job, if i am not so nervous and spazz that I cannot even think of eating.

i mean it is a mental thing now. everyone there is nice, its just my own INSECURITY and Inferiority Complex that I’m fighting against.

and here i’ve been reading a ton of job related shit while at home. well i kinda wanted to. again just becoming more familiar with the field in general. i suppose it would be better ot study the exact stuff in particular, the software, well i sort of did.

should try to see if i can sync a google drive folder on the job computer. might be restricted tho. but i can get to the google drives website. cuz they are sharing google documents with my gmail address, ie they intentionally use google docs to share stuff. i mean why not.

shit i forgot to ask the boss about his phd program. and his kids. and his previous jobs. 99% sure he is a democrat and might be a progressive activist one. he is big on education and worked in Inner City schools and certainly believes that poor blacks kids are every bit as capable and smart as privileged huhwhyte kids. and he has had a successful career, plenty of respect, and a wife and 3 kids to encourage his Weltanschauung hahahaha. he clearly is doing things right!

credit Salty Seaman with his parody of Kyke cernovich’s “gorilla mindset” with “chimpanzee weltanschauung” hehehehe.

http://english.stackexchange.com/questions/17908/whats-the-difference-between-weltanschauung-and-worldview

fooking intellectuals just jerking each other off hahahaha.  see this is one reason i dont want a masters degree. or especially a phd. its all mental masturbation .

anyway the boss is a good guy. i just wish he were a Rightist instead of probably a Leftist.

Well I think HIS boss is more of a rightist than a leftist hahaha. he already has his phd hahaha. but from a less prestigious skool. one of those classic working career adult completes phd in their spare time much like a MBA or something. i mean thats a good accomplishment too. the guy is obviously a hard worker, very ambitious, persistent, tough, BATTLEMIND, all good qualities. this guy is VERY masculine and somewhat intimidates me. shit he was also my boss’s boss 3-4 years ago so yeah I sorta know him. he is everybodys boss.

ambitious people dont like unambitious people and vice versa, sez famous negroball coach nick saban. for me this is hauntingly true. ive never been ambitious although i could have been successful if i were, cuz i used to have a good brain. but never had the work ethic. so people that DO have a strong work ethic, i worry about them looking DOWN on me as a Lazy Bum who doesnt Wanna Work Hard. Theyre not wrong, but I dont think that makes me a horrible person hhahahahahaha. but this guy is very ambitious and i dont want him to look down on me, cuz i respect him and what he’s done. thats a big part of it too, you dont want people YOU respect to disrespect YOU. you think someone is a good role model, and they think you are a lazy bum.

well he doesnt think i am a lazy bum. i hear he thought pretty highly of me when i interviewed with him once for a FT job in 2014. i guess i actually can sound sort of smart in interviews. then once i get the job i sound like an idiot hahahahaha.

http://workplace.stackexchange.com/questions/80549/does-using-documentation-as-a-developer-make-me-look-unprofessional

heh. this guy is worried that looking stuff up makes him look dumb to his coworkers, because he doesnt automatically know it. never mind asking them dumb questions!

thankfully the responses are largely no, what you are doing is smart and good.

dec 6

everyone at the job is nice and there is no pressure, but i am putting a ton of pressure on myself to be smart and impressive and funny and likeable and normie and charismatic and fun and smart and a team player and a value adder and asking smart questions not dumb questions.

everyone is also super accomplished, basically everyone i work with or talk to has a masterz degree or a phd but they dont have a big head about it either. now i want masters degree people to know i am every bit as smart as they are…..but i dont want to get a masters degree. they are ambitious and career oriented so they were very motived to get an advanced degree. i am not. but i cant say that here. like yeah im just as smart as you, i just didnt want to work as hard. but they arent such workaholics that they arent nice, or are weird. everybody is nice and has families and children. sometimes i want to say “you know i only make 11 dollars an hour and dont have a masters degree in this field right? i mean im not an idiot and my undergrad was better than your undergrad hahahahaha but then i went off the reservation and became a loser after that point.

but everyone is very understanding and theyre like yeah i know thats a lot of stuff to be thrown at you.

it KINDA is, but not any more than i had before, plus the important part is, i dont have to answer phones all day and fix things for users of this software and explain it, while having nothing but the Documentation to assist me in that chore, and experts were very unavailable. here, the experts are just chilling out and you are sitting in a room right next to them with the phone only ringing once an hour! its SUCH a different environment, 180, i mean its 14880000000000180 times BETTER and more POSITIVE!!!!!!

Just some person with a masters degree in tech, whos an expert in these tools, who can answer any question I or the users have, explain everything, who WELCOME feedback and complaints and feature requests, dont just bark im busy read the documentation. its INSANE. no WONDER these people have masters degrees and years of experience, to have such good chill career jobs.

Basically everyone is a damn instructor too. all these people are teaching college classes on the damn side. To the point where I have to laugh sheepishly and say, now i’ve never actually taught a class before, because all these people have taught classes! They are all teachers!!!!!!

so yeah. much more of the impostor sydrome than the dunning kruger effect hahahaha.

i have been studying quite a bit when i get home, was going a training module today on a major piece of software.

Used the coffee maker today and one of our clients said that is some good coffee, reminds me of the maxwell house we used to drink at home when i was young. I said thank you thats the first pot o coffee ive ever made here hahahaha today is my second day.

he was an afro-american man with an MBA, very intelligent and well dressed hahahahahaha.

if most of the Black Men you met were like THAT, you might very well not be a racist, but be a damn pro-black, anti-white, anti-racist!!!!! no he was all right, i had no beef with him, clearly a Talented Tenth and would be welcome in my white nation hahahaha.

only working 6 hours a day which is perfect…..then come home and do some studying, and now i should go for a powerwalk, and thinking of bed at 8pm, i mean only 2 days in, of only 6 hour shifts, and i am feeling a crunch on my time in other words.  but i guess thats to be expected. will take a LITTLE getting used to.  so dont get NERVOUS or FREAK OUT about it. just ACCEPT IT. RADICAL ACCEPTANCE. DBT.

yassssssssssss rich spencer live at texas a&m, the skypes did not shut him down, its happening RIGHT NOW and there seems to be an enthusiastic crowd.

also some great uppity shitlibs. this is a Good School and is gonna get PhD level shitlibs and marxists.

yeah well spencer got into a phd program at duke, hahahaha.

shit i gotta go back and listen to this whole thing just to hear all the college leftists in detail and how he responds to them in detail. i missed the first hour of this.

but there needs to be a lot more of this, directly engaging and debating college shitlibs, uhhh because im not good at it hahahaha and really want to listen to someone who is confident and good at it.

TRS goys and univ shitlib marxist BLM together in the audience. NOICE. I gotta read more about this event. and the stuff that went on before, after, outside, nearby.

ebonic talking black female talking about whites doing genocide, youre building this country on the backs of black slaves.

i mean yeah you are gonna find the BEST (ie the worst, slimiest, most twisted) shitlibs at big, reputable univs like TAM, so yeah, more of this. lots more of this. YEAH BUDDY.

i wanna hear him and our side debate and argue with the other side, i dont hear it enough.

faggy philosophy student talking his love of logic and logicians from aristotle to russel, this is exactly what i want to hear, what i want spencer to BTFO, and which i cant handle, cuz i have no patience for hardcore logic hahahaha.

oh shit college “conservative” wanting to tell spencer he stands with the left to condemn spencers hateful rhetoric, how brave bantz spencer. RS is doing really well at this IMHO, needs to do this EVERY DAY. against even MORE hostile crowds.

http://boards.4chan.org/pol/thread/101841991/richard-spencer-at-texas-am-university

http://archive.is/iOEGP

https://twitter.com/search?f=tweets&vertical=news&q=richard%20spencer%20texas%20a%26m&src=refgoogle

http://www.dallasnews.com/news/texas/2016/12/06/protests-unity-event-texas-am-aim-drown-speech-alt-right-dallas-native-richard-spencer

2000 people PROTESTING him

whites with a phd in genetics asking how you determine white identity. god damn i hope that white guy is jooish. sadly he is probably an antiwhite white i fooking luv science! type shitlib. thankfully spencer is giving it right back to them, calling them fat idiots.

https://www.periscope.tv/w/1gqxvRrdNkqxB

i made muh first discord post to share this link i found in the 504um hahahahaha

http://time.com/4592947/students-protest-white-nationalist-richard-spencer-texas-am/?xid=tcoshare

time phagazine.

sheeeeit this is exciting. wish i could stay up late but i gotta get up early and act like a SMART PERSON. even with nice people in a slow environemtn, ideal people in an ideal setting, its still exhausting to put on the face and act like a smart capable normie for a paltry 6 hours!!!!!!!!!!!! i have NO IDEA how i survived at the other job. thank GOD this one is much better. mentally but not at all financially hahahaha.

 

FRIENDS IS FINE, BEST FRIENDS IS NOT

nov 3

welp did interview for PT, 11 dollars an hour job. went ok. lasted 1 hour. i was not super nervous. still stumbled on some questions and tried to bullshit some bullshit. even though i personally think education is a bunch of bullshit, i just like the idea of working at this school. everyone was nice. the woman there, i had known her from 3 years ago when i used to say hello to her and chit chat, she was very nice to me and i was very nice to her. did not expect to see her today, wasnt sure she still worked in this department. the Director is a Big Confident Guy with beautiful white family, working on a PhD right now, he is very big on Education, that kind of shit. i am very big on pulling your kids out of public schools and homeschooling them away from the brown hordes and FEDGOV bullshit. maybe he doesnt like FEDGOV bullshit either and wants to FIX things by being PART of the school board. he worked for x years in Horrible Black Public Schools and i tip my fedora to that. I would not survive a day in that jungle. but i dont think the experience made him a White Nationalist Red Pilled on Race at all, rather, hes doubled down on All Children can succeed with a good Education. and he’s not gonna change his mind because he’s worked hard, had a successful career, has a beautiful family, seems like a genuinely decent guy, has a masterz degree, and in a few years will have a phd.

i mean i have a probably better than average chance of getting this job because i know two, technically 3 people in the department. but i have been rejected for 3 diff PT jobs by this org before, even though i worked at the org for 5 years 3 years ago. so…..again i am no stranger to getting rejected for 11 an hour PT jobs from a place i previous worked.

had a dream where i started making out with this very qt gurl i used to work with at that same job. now she got married and i was never friends with her, but she was always very nice to everybody, very bubbly and nice and pleasant, and very very qt. she Connected with me on Linkedin like 6 months ago and i was like damn she is a nice gurl, good wife and mother material there, that guy got a CATCH. and straight up 8/10 qt hahahahaha. way out of my league. way out of his league. anyway if she were interested in me i would forget about That Woman forever hehehehe. she has a successful career now (the qt gurl) and i am not resentful about it.

yeah i would have enjoyed making out with her, cuddling, secs, dating. i didnt really try with her because a. i didnt work with her that much b. i knew right away she had a BF. the guy she ended up marrying.

was at weekly social thing yesterday and saw a VERY attractive young woman, another total 8. long legs, nice white skin, long brownish hair, pretty face, just the right amount of Meat on the Hips/Buttocks area, good good. i wonder what her BMI is. because SOME women might be self-conscious about being FAT, and then other degenerates would be like BBW The Fatter The Better, but she just looked Healthy and Fertile AF to me. child bearing hips. definitely not anorexic. just the ideal normal young woman body. not fat but not overly skinny. not fat but a little soft in all the right areas. not in a fetishist way. but in a NORMAL way. i could not stop looking at her. if a gurl like THAT were interested in me, i would be OVER That Woman right NOW. yesterday.

yes of course this new woman was objectively more attractive than That Woman.

but yeah, point is, there ARE still attractive young women out there who, if i were spending time with them and they were being nice to me, i could see myself Getting Over THAT woman.

but these women are SO attractive as to be WAY out of my league. like i say. 25 year old full blown 8’s hahahaha. whereas i am more a 6.8 type guy.

and That Woman was probably closer to a 6.8 than a 8? really? the midpoint is 7.4.

i mean in that 6,7,8 range, you really DO need to drill it down like that.  that is a LOT of ground to cover, a LOT of variation, that is WAY more noticeable than like 1 to 1.1 haha.

anyway, getting this job would be fine, because everyone seems nice and i know a couple people there. i wouldnt want to get COMPLACENT though. because you need an FT job, not some damn 25 hours a week, 11 an hour, 275 a week,  13.7k a year job. sheeeeeeeeeeeeit. aint nobody can live off that!

but muh anxiety and mental and emotional health are always a damn problem, im practically damn disabled hahaha. should really see a professional about that hahahaha.

maybe i need to get a new shrink hahahahahahaha.

see i like my shrink very much. but the actual progress could be a little better haha.

i know people who are REALLY SERIOUS about managing their Issues go through like 10, 14 shrinks before they find the right one, not just stick with the first one.  so maybe thats my problem.

heh my problem is that i dont want to go back to school hahahaha.

bbbbut i already have 18 years of education.

but if its not enough of not the right KIND, then i obviously need to go back and get more!

well i guess its good that what i want to do is very exact: help under-40 white men with despair, anxiety, neet, shyness, autismal, failure, rejection, alcohol, MJ, nevergf, virgins, rels. period. no blacks, no browns, no borderline, no sociopaths, no schizo, maybe flexible on bipolar, no nonnevergfs.

and thing is, masters degrees are ridiculously specific too. like speech language therapist, or IT Business Analyst, or Black Social Work, or Charter High School Librarian, or basically masters degrees are tailored to very specific jobs. and my concern is there are just not a lot of JOBS in what i want to do, to help that small ass market. there are way more social work jobs for the more shitty kind of social work. plus social work is pretty stressful too eh hahahaha.

i shouldnt crap on these female MSW’s, ive gotten better i swear. they work hard, theyre not idiots, and if they are horrible sluts in their personal life, they probably try to do as little damage as possible. have decent empathy hahaha. dont just murder hearts in cold blood hahaha.

but to have the county send you all its worst black juvenile delinquents, god damn. i would not want that. or people who get neglected and abused by their damn shitty families. i only want to help shitty people from GOOD families hahahaha.

basically i would have to do some revolutionary marketing and appeal to people that are Too Stubborn to Get Therapy. AND be able to make it affordable for them.

well i guess having a generous Sliding Scale is a must.

Again I am willing to be an unlicensed therapist for 12 dollars an hour, noting that i am just giving it my best effort and trying to handle shit above my pay grade hahahaha.

constantly handling shit above your pay grade without help and without error IS your job hahahaha.

yeah ok i would be happy to get this 13k a year job hahaha. because i could see myself not going mad. plus it would position me to have a better chance at getting ANY job, for the phaggots that are very gapist, and who are rejecting me mainly because of The Gap.

Listen. Heres the thing. I would probably be pretty GOOD in a relship if the woman gave me a fair CHANCE. if she was willing to COMMUNICATE. USE YOUR WORDS, like a GROWN UP. doesnt have to be a conversation. can be an exchange of letters. i know its easy to get NERVOUS and not communicate very well sometimes. so write a letter in the safety of your own comfort zone where i cant gaslight and minimize and abuse you and make you feeeeeeeeeel weird. thats FINE.

then i would talk to this one guy and see if he can get me an MJ order. if so, I will be ecstatic and put in a 100 dollar order. go big. if not…….i guess i will continue scheming to get a medical card. go to this “clinic” and complain of carpal tunnel pain and say hey doc, i’m MORE THAN WILLING to meet with you again in 1 month, 3 months, to establish a bona fide doctor patient relship here. i’ll just come see you again in 3 months, say i have the same arm pain, and you can give me a rec then. i can wait 3 months. i’ll pay for a second visit, even a THIRD visit.

then try to be the best employee ever, learning so much, showing so much initiative, buying treats for everyone, shit i’ll make cookies if i have to. be like hey boss i was reading the journal of blabla the other day and it said this, or did you see this ted talk by cheryl sandberg, can I capture your thoughts on that.

i mean it was a quiet office, the phone wasnt ringing off the hook, yeah i would like to have this job! its super close, took less than 10 minutes to drive there. wasnt a call center, people are nice.

i mean honestly. i was able to handle an insane working environment for a FULL YEAR. 40+ hours a week of torture in the sense of constant panic and dread and fear and anxiety. and i improved and earned respect and eventually became a Good, Reliable, Trusted person. Top 40% material hahahaha.

i cannot forget that it was not the job alone that pushed me over the edge, but the COMBINATION of BOTH the job AND the woman. AND if things had worked out better with the woman, things PROBABLY would have worked out better with the job. and now im afraid all jobs will be that bad. well they CANT be, even a shitty call center would be better because That Woman wouldnt be there!

world series. who gives a fook. normies making 50k a year, with families and kids, thats who.

heh. millennial woes really needs to do a road trip rather than just visit west and east coast. i mean dnations have already paid for this whole thing. thats fine. just get in a car and see some of White Middle America. it might leave him a little more optimistic is all. all of us is not like cali or NY or DC!!!!!

also he needed to spend a few days in LA and not just go right to San fran. although i guess san fran is full of asians, but they are all tech asians making 300k a year and not being violent.

http://mpcdot.com/forums/topic/9182-all-apologies-why-i-architected-the-modern-social-justice-movement/

weev does a lot of good posting on MPC

i donate .14 euros to weev per week hahahaha. this has accumulated over several months to where it can be said that i have indeed bought weev a hearty meal hehehehe.

i mean i dont like how he makes hacking sound so EASY. oh just pick up a book on python or C. I have spent…6 hours a week, 26 weeks, 156 hours at least doing C++, and i dont feel it really GOT me anywhere. I’m like, this si fooking POINTLESS, its not gonna help me make 12 dollars an hour, you need to do at least 14880 hours on it at then you can make 15 dollars an hour.

”  Turning mentally ill women into a salaried force incentivized to act as badly as possible towards disinterested nerds in public paid huge dividends.   ”

heheheh what about INTERESTED nerds. totally humiliating supplicating omega orbiters is what im getting at.

anyway i luv weev, he’s in muh top tier, i will continue giving him .14 euros a week hahahahaha. up to a limit of 20 USD a year hehehehe. maybe moar if i ever get a job hahahahaha.

anyway women are so NIHILISTIC. SEX means nothing to them, RELS mean nothing to them, PEOPLE mean nothing to them. they treat everything as cheap and disposable. throwaway. EVERYTHINGS a throwaway. know someone for years, they’re just as disposable as some one night stand guy, just as disposable as the new life you casually create with that sexy stranger. LIFE IS CHEAP.

yeah well i dont think its so fookin CHEAP!

wewlad finally had a good calorie day today. it is SO HARD lately. i can eat 1200 calories in one meal.

took 75% dose of nyquil, would prefer some MJ like a degen

well its nice to know women can get heartbroken the same way men can!

yeah if you want it 1-3 times every day, you ARE a “sex addict”, ya dumb B. at the very least, a NYMPHOMANIAC. anyone who MUH DICKS THAT much is a DEGEN. high sex drive. suck muh dick bitch hahahaha. there are more important things in life than your SEX DRIVE, ya degen. try doing an ACTUAL JOB where you creat ACTUAL value, and not get paid to do MORE masturbation. serve angry customers. serve tables. deal with people. do stuff. get really confused. panic. go bald from the stress.

i never said you couldnt have male friends. i just say its pretty sketchy when your BEST FRIEND is a man. just like is sketchy when a MAN’s BEST friend is a WOMAN. i would guess in at least 75% of these, there are feelings involved. maybe requited feelings, but still feelings that will complicate the friendship bigtime.

friends is fine…..BEST FRIENDS is not.

 

 

yeah i mean its better when the guy is CONFIRMED gay homosexual. i guess its ok if they are an ugly omega niceguy. well, no its not, because she shouldnt encourage the attention of some poor niceguy sadsack who is OBVIOUSLY in LUV with her. she shouldnt ALLOW that kind of guy to become her BEST FRIEND.

again just throwing pretty important concepts around LIKE THEY MEAN NOTHING.

NIHILISTS.

hehehehehe.

good to see that even the degenerate nihilist women on reddit think this situation is Problematic hehehe.

weev used to say some drugs were ok, but now he is taking the standard WN line that all drugs are always bad, included degenerate negro MJ. LIFT AND HACK, he says.

which IS great advice. and i agree MJ is TECHNICALLY degen. but i still really WANT it. maybe i will want it less once i go through another phase hehehehe. i mean i just WANT it! i would NOT brag about it to WN’s becuase I TOTALLY understand their position.

but if i cant have MJ then i will take nyquil every 3 days until i DO get some mj, and it WILL be a large amount, 75 to 100 dollars worth.

https://mpcdot.com/forums/topic/7751-why-one-relationship-is-better-than-many/page__view__findpost__p__167164

pmans award winning post hehehehe

https://mpcdot.com/forums/topic/69-the-nerd-sex/

very intelligent fun reading, i cannot discourage reading MPC and should put it in the permanent links.

http://mpcdot.com/forums/topic/7687-mpc-pua-lounge-no-incels-vocels-mensucels-or-other-cels/#entry186995

getting into a little MPC phase here.

i like the super smart tone, it is kinda like heartiste, but less degen. well i think heartiste was kinda instrumental in MPC’s origin, maybe a feud/banning with heartiste and pleasureman, something stupid and dramatic.

obviously heartiste is pro-white and pro-family values, but MPC seems to be a bit more blatantly in signalling against degen slut banging.

but yeah PMan i think prob has real issues with women, and i can relate. he might be like me if i were MUCH more successful in life, a little bit more successful with women but still couldnt get a long term waifu, were much more confident, and continued to drink.  yeah thats a lot of what ifs hahaha. i would totally take it, just for the Successful Career, Money, Status, Confidence, and Experience.

looking for personal relships with women thread hahahaha. i will totally take rel advice from the smart men of MPC!

yeah they will say, be a winner in life, do something important, find a decent woman at church, etc. prob very similar to what TRS would say. be a huge ubermensch and not a neet loser. decent women dont go for loser men. faint hearts do not win fair ladies. be a man worth getting a good woman. until you lift yourself up from neetness, dont even think about women.

yeah well until i become a winner, i’d still like to read about other peoples rels and their rel probs, so i might better approach similar probs if i ever get a rel, which i very well may not hahahahaha.

heh. not sure if its the nyquil or the low calorie diet, but just no energy. i should LIFT but even the idea of doing 10 pushups is intimidating hehehe.

so i ate huge bowl of cereal that was HALF of my entire DAYS worth of calories hehehehe.

all the food for one day. less than 2 bowls of cereal.

to be fair, it was a HUGE bowl of cereal, 3.25 servings of cereal. 100 grams hahahaha.

http://mpcdot.com/forums/topic/7979-the-incel-revolution-starts-now/

yeah i put MPC in the permalinks. cant not recommend this great forum hahahaha.

ok. no more interviews in the Pipeline. got to apply to something today. sheeeeeeeeeeit. fook all these phaggots. bitches can suck muh d. hahaha.

do i am nowhere near as narcissistic as elliott rodger. he couldnt admit anywhere in his weak ass short 150 page manifesto that he had any responsibility. in my 148800000000000000 page manifesto, i admit my own responsibility on every page. but women do have some responsibility to not be such narcissistic, sociopathic, immoral, nihilistic, hedonistic, negroistic sluts. semen demons hahahaha. muh dick. bix nood muhfugga.

treat people better than inconvenient fetuses you abort, your own children you coldly murder!

hehehehehe.

some really truly HATEFUL black metal. pretty fast too, lots of fast blasts. this is the kind of mood i am in nao hahaha. they just came out with their first album in 10 years. since this album as a matter of fact.

sheeeeit just tortured myself for 22 minutes apply to 2 jobs hahahaha. see the thing is now, i have my choice employers that i jump to apply to…….but ive applied to 30, 40, 50 jobs with them over the last 4 months and pretty much KNOW i’m gonna get auto rejected, probably for the gap. well, with the county at least, they brought me in for 2 interviews, so, im not gonna fully say fook the county. but they DO always reject me for the 26k jobs, no interview. i think they must be telling me, set my sights higher hahahaha.

and the hospital ALWAYSSSSSSSSS rejects me, has not had me in for one real interview, but toyed with me TWICE in a very unprofessional manner. them i am veyr close to saying fook off back to africa hahahahaha. israhell.

497 jobs here. going SO slow. have slowed down SOOO much. better make the 500th a good one.

 

 

another classic muh GF has a BEST FRIEND whos a guy. NO. FOOK THAT SHIT.

 

 

good lord what a fooked up crazy bitch who is turning this guy into a crazy b as well. hope reddit doesnt jump on him for doing something wrong.  THIS is how fooked up women are, a MAN would NEVER do something this crazy. the guy is now going so crazy hes wondering if he should turn himself into the police for raep. COME ON.

 

difficult situation where guy gets feels for his female friend, she rejects him, then gets mad and calls him a nice guy creep when he decides he needs space. what will reddit say? i say the guy is in the right, and the gurl is wrong and immature. thankfully reddit seems to agree. see reddit isnt all bad.

heh. whenever i read a womans issue, i think, well why dont you just LEAVE him. why do you even CARE. why dont you just ignore and block him. just dump him. just leave him. its so easy for you women to just LEAVE men.

but its not easy when they LUV the men. then they come on to reddit and ask how can i FIX this. they dont WANT to just leave him. wish i had that kind of luv from that woman!

why do you even care about this guy? why dont you just leave him? its so easy!

and of course reddit likes to always advise “dump the mfin asshole” hahahaha

and i dont think i was THAT huge of an ASSHOLE that i needed to be dumped with SUCH extreme prejudice hehehe.

ok fair enough. ive said my piece. peace. whatever. hahaha. sheeeeeeeeeeit.

 

they say don’t confess your feelings, but always “ask her out on a date.” i am a little wtf about this. i would say, yeah dont say IM IN LUV WITH YOU COMPLETELY, play that down and be like, hey i think i might sorta like like you, so lets Go Out On A Date to Olive Garden saturday night at 6pm, I’m buying.

being sort of facetious about olive garden of course. but im not sure if i would like some swpl snob leftist shitlib who thinks theyre TOO GOOD for olive garden.

good day for men with unrequited feelings for their female friends. this should really be a new flair subcategory.

nov 5

WAITING IN THE WINGS

THATS what she thought i was doing, and thats why she was so mad at me, thought i betrayed her.

its kinda like ulterior motives, and its kinda hard to disprove, because you gotta be willing to take the person (me) at their word: i wasnt waiting in the wings, ITS NOT WHAT IT LOOKS LIKE, I SWEAR!

and its NOT what it looks like!

but it REALLY looks like that to the other person.

i mean yeah, there is just too much reasonable doubt for her. my feelings changed right as she became single? it looks just like waiting in the wings! like i was waiting to SWOOP IN!

i wasnt really waiting in the wings…..but her becoming single DID make me think and feel about her differently! like, we get along, we are good friends, maybe we should THINK about this, i never really thought about this before, because i just wasnt used to you being single ever.

does it count as waiting in the wings if you dont do anything to break the people up?

but just passively wait there? i guess so. and it makes the woman hate you more for being a passive spineless pussy hahaha.

yeah but my JSUTIFICATION was that i didnt WANT them the break up because I wasnt WAITING for her because I didnt LIKE her until AFTER she broke up with him!!!!!

so yeah that is a very exact complicated thing to understand, and she has to be willing to listen to me and try to understand it, and i can understand why she wasnt willing to try to understand it. because it reasonably LOOKS kind of shady.

but it can go both ways! and I was hoping, probably not unreasonably, that she would give me the benefit of the doubt, because i wasnt some Shady Rando, so at least LISTEN to my side of the story! Im not some damn Rando Shady Creep!

I KNOW it looks bad to you and to 50% of people. just LET ME EXPLAIN.

of course who says ITS NOT WHAT IT LOOKS LIKE, LET ME EXPLAIN?

people who are caught red handed doing something obviously, indefensibly wrong!

but i DO have a legitimate defense! thats why i wanted an arbitrator, or at least a chance to defend myself!

COULD I CONVINCE A JURY that my defense is legitimate? i think so!

because i can say that my feelings changed officially in october 2014, and she was finished with longterm in bf in june 2014…..and prob earlier.

in july 2014 i had the first rumblings but tried to ignore it.

by oct 2014 i was like im not gonna ignore this any more. i will accept this.

had a dream last night featuring woman1, the first woman i ever went crazy for. i was 20-21 and she was like 23, actually older than me. weird to think that now she is mid to late thirties and is reaching the end of her “fertility”, so if she hasn’t had children by now……..she’s fooked.

anyway it was a pleasant dream, i was holding her close and grabbing her meaty ass.

but yeah waiting in the wings is when you have ulterior motives. i didnt have ulterior motives, therefore i was not waiting in the wings. but because of the timeframe, my motives might have looked ulterior to someone who wasnt willing to listen to my side of the story ehehe.

went to church, the most beautiful girl in church came in and sat next to ME. well, about 4 seats down from me, so that I couldnt really see her without making it obvious that i was staring at her. she was wearing a knee length skirt (acceptable level of modesty for me!) and i dunno a sweater or something acceptably modest on top. but you could still tell that she was a beautiful young woman. probably a little too young. 19, 20 years old. red hair. pale white skin. tall, long legs. yes that is my weakness.

i instantly got fantasies of White Knighting and Providing and Protecting, cuddling with her, and being a Big Strong Man For Her. Protecting and Providing. VERY natural and very nondegen, pure, good, moral, nonjooified feelings. nothing pornographic or jooified.

then i thought, well, while i’m thinking that abotu her, she’s fantasizing about getting fooked by chad, or worse, tyrone. thinking about pornographic jooish SODOMY, muh dick, oh yeah i wanna suck dick, get fooked by dick, get filled up by dick and bend over for dick and get fooked hard like a little slut.

while I’m thinking of being king arthur with my gallant shit here.

well i have NO PROOF that that gurl was thinking such jooish, pornographic, sodomite shit.

in fact, the less you watch that filth, the less you think like that.

so thats why i dont watch that shit any more. but the damage is already done. i watched a lot of that jooish garbage, so now i think that way.

another thing that poisons the white mind is university/college. they basically all need to be shut down. you are scooping out healthy white minds and filling their heads with jooish pseudointellectual pornography, masturbation. turning whites into joos. its HORRIBLE.

anyway, a young gurl who goes to CHURCH of her own initiative (she was there by herself, no family or Boifran hehehehe) is probably less of a pornographic jooish sodomite in their mind, than some neet watching jooish porn all day. so she PROBABLY wasnt thinking about SODOMY. she probably doesnt need to be MANSPLAINED to about how casual sex is bad and being a slut is bad and abortion is bad. she already Implicitly KNOWS all this.

so why didnt i Ask Her Out On A Date? well terribly low confidence from being a 30+ year old neet loser. but at least my BMI is 21.3! so that means i could pull a woman of minimum BMI 31.3 HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA (hint: over 30 is OBESE)

ALSO, if you take the (age/2)+7 rule……she would be TOO YOUNG for me hahahahaha. what about +3 hahahahaha.

also, an old man came and sat between me and her. i bet he wanted to protect and provide for her too hahahaha.

but yeah the horrible pornified way of thinking is still seared in muh mind. thinking that women are these dirty nympho sluts that like to get fooked like meat. they LIKE being DEGRADED.

years of watching porno has PERMANENTLY WARPED MY MIND.

so why not just say fook it and continue watching it?

well because i think i have improved at least a little. also i just dont WANT to watch it!!!!

anyway. there was ANOTHER cute young girl in church today (usually there are none, OR lets just say they are closer to 16 than to 18, yikes) but she was not as pretty. did not have long legs, not as pale white skin, she might have even had some nonwhite in her! she was with her young BF. it was nice they were going to church together. he had dark hair too but looked a lot whiter. she could have been part arab or italian or something hahahahaha. greek. turkish. albanian.

main point is, she was wearing tight exercise pants that are NOT appropriate in church, or even at the gym. theres a thread on MPC right now about this hehehehe. supposedly its EASY and CONVENIENT to dress like this. im sure it is, but its also easy for me to wear Baggy Sweatpants that arent GLUED to my ass and crotch. it puts the womens bodies, asses, genitals on display in a vulgar, immodest, degen, jooified, sodomitic way that its like theyre barely wearing clothes at all.

flanders feels like im wearin nothin at all!.wav

abwvo4u

stupid sexy flanders

so thats the damn POINT. its just as QUICK and EASY and CONVENIENT to wear something more MODEST.

it would be like MEN wearing SPEEDO or that stupid borat Onesie everywhere. to walmart. to church.

but thats not SECSY!!!!!!

the way an 18 year old girl with 21 BMI is !

well borat has a healthy BMI too, he’s not a fat slob, just Hairy and Gross.

well my point is. its immodest clothing that shows too damn much of your naked body!

(yes flanders of all people should know better!)

anyway i am wearing a pair of large sweatpants and they are super big. i could probably wear medium and it would be just fine. and that would be fine for most women too. why cant you just wear non-skin-tight sweatpants instead of super-skin-tight YOGA pants???!?!?!??!?!

isnt it HARD to STUFF yourself into pants that are SO TIGHT they show every curve of your ass?

JUST WEAR SWEATPANTS.

theres this fashion idea that sweatpants are the Least Sexy Thing Ever.

YOU DONT NEED TO LOOK SEXY ALL THE TIME!!!!!!!!

In fact, you really don’t EVER need to look SEXY. Not even in the Bedroom.

you dont need to look sexy at the gym, at the store, in public, at church.

so yeah. its JOOISH and PORNOGRAPHIC and SODOMITIC for everything to be so goddamn sexualized. you dont NEED to look SEXY!!!!!!!! its not BAD to not look sexy! just because youre not looking SEXY doesnt mean you have to look like a people of walmart fat slob!!!!!!!

dont wear skintight sexy clothes to the gym, which is a PUBLIC PLACE with lots of horny nonwhites who LOVE staring at young healthy women in skintight clothing!!!!!!

so yeah i hate this “its easy and comfortable” excuse.

and i liked that That Woman never dressed like that.

TO MY KNOWLEDGE hahahahahaha.

here’s two qt gurls, at CHURCH, and its obvious that one GET IT, and the other has NO IDEA.

thing is, the gurl wearing skintight pants to church probably ISNT a huge whore, she’s just a 18 year old gurl who doesnt know any better. and her father is either Gone, or Weak, or he’s a fat sodomite slob who jerks off to pictures of 20 year old girls wearing YOGA PANTS. its just what young girls wear nowadays. OH GOODY. MORE HOT ASSES TO JERK OFF TO. I think they are honestly so dense that they dont see that their OWN DAMN DAUGHTER LOOKS LIKE THAT. otherwise they would forbid their daughter from wearing clothes like that and looking like a damn SLUT.

i got a great idea: rent a car, DRIVE TO COLORADO, buy a LOT of MJ, then very carefully drive the car back over several states hahahaha. yeah thats prob a felony sooooo i dont advocate or support or recommend this. just wondering if people DO do it.

https://www.google.com/webhp?sourceid=chrome-instant&ion=1&espv=2&ie=UTF-8#q=smuggling%20weed%20out%20of%20colorado

http://www.pbs.org/newshour/updates/illegal-crossing-heres-weed-authorities-confiscated-nebraska-colorado-border/

http://www.usatoday.com/story/news/2016/05/13/when-smuggling-colo-pot-not-even-skys-limit/83623226/

http://bigbudsmag.com/beware-the-highway-police-vultures-br-waiting-to-swoop-on-marijuana-transporters/

https://www.washingtonpost.com/politics/at-colorados-borders-a-dividing-line-over-marijuana/2014/07/26/729c6462-06ac-11e4-bbf1-cc51275e7f8f_story.html

yeayea wapo is jooish trash i know

anyway its probably not worth it, they still bust a lot of people in nebraska and kansas it seems.

hmmm this is tuffer than im not haaaaaaaappy i think i wanna open our rel. this is yasssss i want to get MARRIED but i ALSO want to do this just this one time.

DUMP THE BITCH!

DITCH THE BITCH AND LETS GO FISHIN!!!!!!!

your not in a rel anymore, she dumped you, so you dont get to be mad about her fooking other guys!!!! hahahaha.

this is why you dont end the rel until you MOVE OUT FIRST.

THEN dump the guy.

THEN start fooking other guys super quickly and sending them noods.

just normal 21 yo gurl shit.

i mean a 21 year old should know shit is gonna get weird when you dump a guy, break his heart, THEN CONTINUE TO LIVE WITH HIM.  HOW DID YOU THINK HE WAS GONNA FEEL? HAPPY THAT YOU WERE BANGING OTHER GUYS RIGHT IN FRONT OF HIM AFTER YOU DUMPED HIM AND STILL LIVING WITH HIM?

why do they HAVE to add insult to injury? isnt it enough just to INJURE someone hahahaha.

why couldnt she just suck it up for 2 months until the lease ends, then be like, yep im dumping you, have a good life; OR find somewhere else to stay; OR be more private with her slut shit and not RUB IT IN HIS FACE.

Ive never been in OP’s situation THANK GOD, but i STILL know the right thing to do! and i prob would have known when i was a 21 year old idiot! because i have EMPATHY, unlike these WOMEN!

WOMEN HAVE NO EMPATHY!!!! MEN HAVE MUCH MORE EMPATHY THAN WOMEN!!!!!

oh so its HIS fault because he’s not SUCCESSFUL enough that he DROVE her to cheating, and her not wanting to fix the rel. i hate seeing men who are not at fault, BLAME themselves like its their damn fault their gf is trash!!!!!!!!

 

NEVER TRUST NONNEVERGF NORMIES

nov 1

sheeeeeeeeeeit rejected for the part time city job, 15 an hour, was hopign for this as a kind of baby steps, training wheels, safety net. they had THREE positions open so i thought i had a chance. sent thank you emails to the three people on interview panel. (representing the three departments/positions.) got rejection email today. spent 14 minutes on application, 90 minutes in first test, 30 minutes on second test, 40 minutes on interview, and rejected. damn.

well, they either have promised the jobs to family members, and or they are looking for an older married woman who is looking for part time job AND NOT full time job. because i made a statement like, “a full time position is my #1 priority.” basically saying to them its not my first choice that this job is part time. and you want a candidate who makes you a #1 Priority not an option!

i dunno, i’ll never know.

but yeah thats disappointing. believe me a part time baby steps job would be a BIG DEAL and possible LIFE CHANGER, just for showing that I can HANDLE some kind of Employment without completely losing my mind and running away panicquitting!

its kinda hard convincing someone “its company policy, you cant do that” if the company policy isnt WRITTEN DOWN anywhere, AND there is no good faith attempt at an explanation. you figure there is always some wizard in the back room with 2 years of experience (hehehehe) who knows the Secret Way Around Things. but you have just as much access to this Guru Ninja, as Joe Flabeetz off the Streetz!!!!!!

i was thinking of a stupid case just today, and i should make a GOod Story out of it while its fresh in my mind.

caller is moving to another company location 1 mile away. caller wants to move his client list from location 1 to location 2. he figures thats reasonable. calls, gets me, asks me to do that for him / get that process started. i say ok let me put you on hold for a few minutes while i figure this out. cant find any good articles. ask the people around me because i dont want to get Dinged for going into the Official Advice Chat, because that shows you arent trying hard enough to figure it out on your own, and just want your Hand Held. people around me say you cant do that, cant be done, and continue focusing on their own cases. Really, I say? why not? what should I tell this guy? just tell him it can’t be done. company policy. yeah but why? and couldn’t there possibly be a way to just copy the files manually to a flash drive, then load them into the other office? i mean these are all just FILES, right? why can’t you move a file from one computer to another? I mean yeah I know all the files look like WKDNSUH193734940.ngr and are in 1488 different locations, but…..isnt that what we have tier 2 and 3 for? this has got to be an escalated case right? people around me sigh and say, well, youre getting way too deep, plus theyre gonna say no anyway, that would take way too much time, but if you want to ask for escalation, go ahead, theyre just gonna say no, nothing we can do. and im like WRONG, there IS stuff we can do, but just be straight with me and my caller that it would take to much time and money, I can understand that, he can understand that.

i guess the reason you cant move a client list is so that people can’t “steal” their client information when they leave the company, and use that to start their own business or something.

yeah but this guys not leaving the company! he’s just moving to a different office! a fairly common thing!!!!

so i still dont understand. but for the purposes of my Story that i’m gonna tell the interviewer, i have to make it look like i made sense out of all this.

i think i just said, yeah i checked, this cant be done, i guess its security policy so people can’t easily leave the company with their client lists, sorry, i tried. and he was like ok fine i guess. thats our company for you, always getting in the way with stupid policies.

maybe im asking too much with a minimum of 12 dollars an hour. maybe i should drop it down to 10 dollars an hour. i see more 10 dollar an hour job openings than 12 dollars an hour.

maybe in another year of joblessness hahahahahaha.

anyway a good answer for that guy would be, welp, it would be FASTER and CHEAPER for you to sit there in the first office, print out 2000 pages of paper for all the clients files, and then bring the boxes of printouts to the new office, and manually reenter them into that computer, than it would be to transfer the files from one office to another.

but youre kidding me. i mean i get the security thing if the employee is permanently leaving. but employees transfer offices ALL THE TIME. YOURE TELLING ME that for the 100 employees that are transferred to a different office EVERY DAY, theres NO WAY for them to have access to their old files from the new office? that doesnt even make sense how that would be a policy!

i understand completely. if you’d like to dispute the policy, the best person to speak to is the office manager.

I AM THE OFFICE MANAGER!

I mean, speak to YOUR manager, the district manager.

HE SAID TO CALL YOU!!!!

And I’m saying to call him and say that we can’t fix this. I’m not sure he can fix this, but he sure has a better chance at having more power than me.

well why cant you just trasnfer me to YOUR manager? certainly they have more power than you?

yeah they have too many cases and they dont think this case is worthwhile. sorry.

I want to hear this from them.

OK I’ll request a callback, but can’t give you a time other than to say it will be within the next 72 hours. And I can’t give you the person’s name. it could be any of 20 people.

you have 20 managers?

no, see, the managers don’t know anything. they only know how to MANAGE, and they dont do that very well. I’m having a level 2 person call you. they’re like level 1 people who have been around for 3 years and actually know stuff and can explain stuff. sorta.

i cant make this up folks. i worried that my fam would think i was weird or homosexual because i never talked to gurls, never had a GF, never had female friends, come on fam im 23, 25 years old, dont you think this is WEIRD? dont you worry im a weird pedophile? then i got to 30 with no GF, no female friends, and it was a lot easier hahahaha. it was like yep thats just the way he is. terrible with the ladies. but they never SAID i was weird or that they were disappointed. i thought it was weird that they didnt THINK it was weird, cuz i sure thought it was weird!

shit. might as well listen to that new deathspell omega album. not even excited. not sure i could get excited about a metal album ever again. new darkthrone album was kinda disappointing. what if boortzum made a new metal album? it would prob be disappointing like his last metal album. ok then what about muh boy mikko makes a new album? well see i didnt even really get into his new vapaudenristi album. i would prob get excited about a new stabat mater album hahahahahaha. we are abotu due for one of those.  uhhhh metal. big metal fan. yep.

mgla? yeah thats probably the most excited id get about a new metal album.

nonmetal album? i dunno. leonard cohen comes out with new albums and i dont even care, tom waits could prob come out with a new album and i wouldnt care, cuz i was underwhelmed by his last album like 5 years ago hahahaha. cmon tom.

tom waits net worth is 25 million hahahahaha.

heh. rej email for a 32k job. well, thats way more than 26k hahahaha. but ok well this is the county. i have been interviewed by the county for a….33k job and a 40k job. really would have liked that 40k job. but i get rejected for all the 26k, 28k jobs i apply for with the county. you gotta go to harvard or mit to get a 26k job with the county apparently hahahahaha.

OR JUST NOT HAVE A 15 MONTH GAP hahahahaha is much more like it!

if i ever got a gf i could see it being like this hahahahaha. but at least he cares about dumping her in a good way rather than just Ghosting and Blocking her hahahahaha.

yeah thats the hard thing when things END right in the middle of Your Honeymoon Period, is that it takes much longer to get over, becuase youre always thinking WHAT IF, WHAT IF, WHAT IF. you never got bored with them, you never got in a rut, you never thought maybe the grass is greener, they were always your perfect angel, never though, welp im bored with this person, they dont CHALLENGE me to be a BETTER PERSON, hahahahaha hahahaha.  or whatever bullshit hahahaha.

well honestly when you are in true honeymoon period, you DO feel like you want to be a better person because of them, the cliche is true!

i guess…..well you know you get that feeling of please just escalate this case, i dont know what im doing, this is above my paygrade, i dont know how to explain this, i just want another person to look at this and at least give them a better reason…..but youre not getting approval to escalate, and you sound like an idiot. in hindsight, the best thing to do would be, plan on staying an extra hour just to work on their case, and be like, i’ll call you back at 630 pm. thats the best i can do. because noone else is willing or able to look at this. and i need like an hour to figure it out. but i dont have an hour because we have calls in queue and i’m already over 20 minutes with your call. so im gonna sacrifice my family time so i can do work for free, for you. so you better tell my manager i deserve a promotion. not some diversity person from outside of the company.

listened to the new DsO. sounded just like the old DsO hahahahahaha. jangly and angular and chaotic and noisy and confusing. it sounds like what my mind felt like trying to do my old job. jumbled and confused and making no sense. anyway nothing new in DsO’s bag of tricks. total emperor has no clothes. they cannot get away with this any longer hahahahaha. just an exercise in wankery. yeah i kinda like crazy blast beats behind semi-clean guitars, yeah i like mikko, yeah they have their own STYLE of weird nonsense music, so you could tell them apart from other “math rock” or “technical” groups………but I guess Im just not super into the technical stuff.

i mean honestly. WHAT ARE YOUR MUSICAL INFLUENCES. thats what i would ask him. probably a lot of jazz hahaha. ornette coleman hahaha.

it sounds just like all their other albums, a pile of noise hahahahahahahahaha. smoke and mirrors. if he was actually down to earth enough to give an interview, people would say, yeah you know youre not as good as you think you are, ya underachieving autist hahahahahaha.  go make some more money at your normiejob and go cuddle with your tradwife hahahaha.

enjoy your beautiful part of france where there are beautiful mountains and forests and small towns and white people and no browns like in godforsaken paris. or calais hahahaha.

fooking k1ke bastards. cant even hire me for a part time job. was it because they can TELL im not a NORMIE? just like WOMEN can tell hahahah.

no thats not true, even THAT WOMAN didnt realize how much of a nonnormie i was! and she didnt Block me because she realized exactly HOW fooked up i was, she just blocked me because she was a coward. for all she knows, im a total normie who dates wimmin hahaha.  i mean this reflects worse on her than it does on me.

https://www.google.com/webhp?sourceid=chrome-instant&rlz=1C1NHXL_enUS687US687&ion=1&espv=2&ie=UTF-8#q=what%20to%20say%20in%20any%20situation

namely, any DIFFICULT/TUFF situation hahahahaha.

http://www.socialanxietysupport.com/forum/f21/anyone-else-have-a-job-but-no-life-339841/index5.html

heh i should put SAS in the sidebar o links, decent forum. bunch sad sacks with no friends, no gf, some have jobs, some dont.

how did they GET these jobs?

yeah its muh GAP which is hurting me more than my lack of Interviewing Charisma. I actually have prob around average interview skills. better than that woman hahahahahahahahahaha who i still think about and compare myself to even though she has been out of my life forever for 16 months and is never coming back.

yeah the whole reason i LUV MJ now is because i used WAY TOO MUCH of it in my youth, age 25 and earlier. big mistake. never should have. but ive screwed the pooch now. because i ruined myself when i was young, i will pretty much always be addicted to w33d hahahaha. in that i am ALWAYS thinking about it, EVERY DAY, even when I only have it once every 200 days, im thinking about it all the other 199 days.  yes it sucks but DEAL WITH IT.

and the best way to do that, is just get a job any job ASAP,  find a MJ Hookup ASAP, and make a Big Buy ASAP. like $100 at least. buy a BIG bag of MJ.

get on disability because i have too much anxiety to work a job like a normie, then spend money on MJ hahaha.

those fookin phaggots rejecting me for the part time job when there were THREE openings. god damn. 3 openings and less than 30 people in the running. how the HELL was i not in the top 20%? where DID I rank? HOW close was I to getting the job? and what if i WASNT EVEN CLOSE?

again they probably wanted somebody who was perfectly happy with part time job, rather than someone who admitted yeah my goal is to get a full time job. probably hired a retired 65 year old person who just wanted something to DO to keep from getting BORED with retirement hahahahaha. fookin baby boomers.

rather than 50 year old people who are FORCED into early retirement and have to eat dogfood and live in section 8 housing with negros hahahahaha. elderly white people living in the black ghetto, eating dogfood. which is also black slang for heron.

ANYWAY. so i will crap on deathspell omega because……they are FRUSTRATING. basically they intentionally gave up catchy riffs in favor of super uncatchy “riffs” and its like they did this on purpose, they are purposely frustrating, and i liked that when i was 16 but now that i am over twice that age, im like, i want to listen to music to ENJOY it, not to work hard and struggle to overcome challenges and confusion. i have a hard enough time doing that in my daily life. just give me good songs. and i know they are capable of that! my favorite DSO songs are their slower more melodic ones!!!! “carnal malefactor” eg. beautiful song. write more songs like that. or the first song on “drought” was slow and melodic and establishes a very nice dark ominous atmosphere, before they tear it all down with their nonsense riffs…..and the nonsense riffs on “paracletus” actually seemed to work most of the time.

im getting too old for this shit hahahahahaha.

yeah but they are even older than ME! they are close to 40!

probably MJ would make it more enjoyable. i wonder if “hasjarl” does MJ. PROBABLY. knowing that would take a lot of the MYSTIQUE out. like this article on insvisible oranges implies: it seems RIDICULOUS to think of a member of DSO doing mundane things like going to walmart or tuning the guitar or having a goofy moment in the studio. to that i would add just about anything: hanging out with their waifu, taking a dump, going to work, trying to explain shit to angry customers, visiting their family. but they do all these things just like normal people, and yeah maybe i CAN imagine these things all too well, and so i think, no need to TRY so hard buddy. I KNOW youre just a damn normie! i bet he just gets super stoned and is like oh heres another wanky riff in 88/14 time that normie squares who haven’t taken jazz band 101 wont understand hehehehe. hue hue hue hue. yeah well youre a normie too buddy.

mikko aspa might not be a normie tho hahahaha.

this guy has actually gotten to the point of casual secs and can conclusively say that he is not impressed and he wants moar, but he just cant get to the second date. i mean if they FOOK on the first date, its a safe assumption theyre SOMEWHAT interested in you.  but noooooo they cant even fook you a second time!

i mean when a gurl FOOKS, how do you know whether she wants it ONLY ONCE, or more than once?

these stupid, stupid bitches. hahahaha. you think if he turned down the secs on the first date, then the women are gonna change their mind and want to go out with him for a second date?

WOMEN WHO FOOK ON THE FIRST DATE ARE NOT THE TYPE OF WOMEN YOU WANT TO HAVE A SECOND DATE WITH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

but nobody understands this anymore. there is not enough SLUT SHAMING!!!!!

treat people like actual people, human beings with feelings and hearts! thats how i treat women in real life! i talk a LOT of shit about women in general on teh internet, but in real life, with real women, I DO NO HARM!!!!!!!!!!

nov 2

yeah i was/am kinda pissed about getting rejected for the pt 15 an hour job with THREE openings. couldnt even get ONE of em. couldnt even get the WORST one.

interview tomorrow for goddamn ELEVEN dollar PT job, which is normally too low to consider for me, but i like the company, its close, i worked there before, i would luv to get FT job there, and ive had THREE interviews with them for pt 11 dollar jobs, all rejected, and the 4th tomorrow. (4 separate jobs.)

would LOVE to get call this week from the 2 other companies i int at last week. would def be disappointed af to get rej emails from them. not really PISSED, but definitely disappointed and weakened confidence. it cant get much lower folks hahahaha.

trump does not view women as full human beings, says hitlery hahahahaha. i thought, well, neither do I, but I would never want to personally do them harm. AND I view them as about 80% human beings, thats pretty good right?

still doesnt mean i would TREAT them as 80% humans, i wouldnt treat them like they have treated me hahahaha. they have treated ME like less than 80% human!!!!!!!!

anyway who cares. my new thing with interviews is, just memorize 10 stories in great detail.

let the STORIES be your guide.

i didnt know what i was doing, i couldnt explain the bad news to the caller because i didnt understand, i didnt udnetstand enough to ask the right questions to muh superiors, i got flustered. so i went home and studied the stuff until i did understand it. then the next day i called the caller again and gave them a better explanation.

even though most times just studying will nto give you the EXPLANATION you want. you still have to deduce the explanation for yourself out of the most unclear material. or speculate a reason or rationale or explanation why you Cant Do This, because nothing is given in a written company policy.

its usually safe to assume Money Is The Reason. saving money. and then you have to come up with a tactful way to explain that to the customer, we cant help you because it costs too much money.

i was watching this retarded show “taboo” which is semi entertaining, and then they did a show about “the limits of female beauty” or something and had a bit on The Most Anorexic Woman in the World, a french woman who LITERALLY looked like A Skeleton. I mean her actual FACE as well as her body was Emaciated AF and she looked like the Sloth Guy in the move Seven. looking at that face as haunting and horrifying. i said NOPE NOT GONNA WATCH THIS and i felt dirty being complicit in this very jooish exploitation.

id actually seen the episode before a few years ago. i recall they said this woman DIED shortly after the episode was completed. she was like 30 years old and LITERALLY at deaths door as they were filming, she was that bad, and she LOOKED that bad. it was HORRIFYING.

i know i was disturbed when i watched in the first time and when they showed her this time, i was super disturbed and just turned the show off. how jooish can you get.

 

sheeeeeit thats that type of stuff i worry about, now this poor sap is living it! guarantee this will be [removed] quickly hahahaha like most of the sweet reddits i post.

what if that woman did something like that? it wouldnt matter because she has been Ripped Out of my life for the past 16 months. 480 days hahahaha. who cares. doesnt matter. its all over. get over it.

so yeah my work stories suck because basically it was me getting flustered and saying uhh yeah i guess we cant do this, sorry, just deal with it, anything else i can help you with? so again, i have to SPIN those stories to show that I did Follow Up research to understand shit, and did callbacks to Clarify shit, in a world where NOTHING WAS CLEAR. half the time documentation didnt even EXIST. and the documentation that DID exist was WRONG, out of date, and or confusing/UNCLEAR AF.

and the people you can ask for help are often as unhelpful and unclear as the unclear shit you are asking for clarification on, so you learn to try to Figure It Out yourself.

anyway. ive sort of met the guy i will be talking to tomorrow. he used to walk through my department and i would give him a friendly greeting whenever i saw him. he seemed nice enough that he is actually the type who says hello to people, and i am the same way. yes thats right. im not this huge hateful asshole in real life. i am a scared coward who is so DESPERATE for peoples APPROVAL that i am super NICE to people all the time, like a total NICE GUY, the worst KIND of creep!!!!! hahahahahaha.

ok everybody wants approval. why cant we just call this golden rule. treat everyone the way you want to be treated. that is an even more valid explanation of me being nice to everybody. besides i dont stalk women like a nice guy. i send them a couple emails and let them throw me away with onyl minimal complaining.

i TALK like a huge abuser, but i have never ever ever abused a woman. but of course i worry that i would, because i TALK like an abuser when there are no women around. so its hard to tell. what is real and what is the mask?

i like to think im not REALLY an abuser. i have just been so disappointed by women that its very hard for me not to speak negatively of them. but alot of my stuff is legit criticism.

https://www.google.com/webhp?sourceid=chrome-instant&rlz=1C1NHXL_enUS687US687&ion=1&espv=2&ie=UTF-8#q=how%20do%20you%20convince%20people%20youre%20not%20an%20idiot

drop quotes by neil “magic black science man” tyson. maybe steven hawking. done.

http://archive.is/iSmnZ

stupid kyke hahahahaha why did i even trigger myself hahaha

http://introvertspring.com/introvert-may-slow-im-stupid/

yeah dont even tell the interviewer you are slightly introverted even as a way just to describe your personality is not super duper extraverted……..BECAUSE INTROVERTED IS A BAD WORD AND A BAD THING. Just say you are perfectly normal, a friendly polite person, and not necessarily the life of the party. Im just here to do a good job, not socialize. never let the word INTROVERT exit your lips. ANATHEMA.

i mean i havent done that recently, but i know i did at some point, maybe to explain why i prefer a Back Office Position over a Front Office Position.

they always say, ask her out on a DATE, BUT, problem is, youve been HANGING OUT a bit doing things that COULD be construed as datelike, where they only thing that changes is the word…..hey wanna go to dinner again…..but this time its a DATE???!?!?!?!?!?!?!??!?!?!

yeah ok fine. if this is what you have to do, i’ll accept that. i would just rather say “i am starting to get changing feelings for you and might want to DATE you” would be just as good.

anyway. MW is now in the US. and uploading vidyas regularly. hope he keeps doing that. if the “dangerous haggis tour” stops near me i would like to see him. this is exciting. i am excited for him. he is pretty excited. hopefully he hangs out with plenty of hardcore WN’s hahahaha. his first stop was staying with antidem in san f4gcisco. all i know about antidem is that he is a joo and was banned from TRS for that. hes probably one of the good ones, but…….not a great start. just go stay with greg johnson hahaha. well i know “grindr greggie” also stays near NYC as well. anyway i am SURE they will meet up. and i hope MW records as much of his visit as possible. record everything. documentary. its just fun. i am happy for him. he is a great guy. hope he doesnt bang that woman hahaha. because that woman might have gotten into alt right stuff since i stopped talking to her. hahahahaha. yeah right.

but young women will do weird celebrity worship shit tho. for example, say youre obsessed with the band sublime, so you Chat with the dead singers mother or something. what if That Woman got all into alt right, then skyped with MW for months, and said, if you ever come to the US you can stay with me…….and fook me every way imaginable! no man could turn that down!

when a purty 7/10 25 year old gurl is giving you attention, smiling at you, interested in you, wants to see you…….that is a BIG boost to the confidence!

you might think, well she’s not the sharpest knife in the drawer…..but she doesnt NEED to be! she just needs to be nice and friendly and interested!

so yeah. she could def fook MW if she wanted. she could fook ANY man she wanted. ANY woman can fook ANY man they want ehehehehe. well…..she prob couldnt fook the donald. but an E-list internet “celebrity”? absolutely.

ok ok thats enough on that person.

but we just had a REAL relship! FACT! and it was important to me! FACT! and my feelings are valid! FACT! i am entitled to be upset when i lose a Real Rel that was very important to me! FACT!

trust the process hahaha.

basically, any way you look at it, it was a REAL RELATIONSHIP, and I can’t say that about many women. maybe 2 other women, both just friends, but decent real friends. the women i pseudodated, those were just brief pseudorels, CASUAL rels, i didn’t really know them, these were NOT REAL RELS, so ultimately its prob easier to get over something THAT NEVER REALLY EXISTED.

this shit really existed though. objectively. there is ironclad EVIDENCE that would hold up in court.

so yeah. you can ghost on a casual “rel”, but when you ghost on a REAL rel…….IT HURTS.

the end.

heard about retired guy, had great 30+ year career with DoD, prob insane pension, good man, he’s done well, good white family, good white man. gets PT job in retirement to just get out of the house. scheduled like 4 hours a day. shift starts at 830 am, but he’s gotta start working at 745 am to finish the shit he has to finish by 11:30 am or whatever. i HATE this shit. doing 45 minutes of unpaid work, on a THREE HOUR shift. so you are giving them 33% PERCENT MORE, for FREE. that is like working OVER TWO HOURS FOR FREE on a regular 8-hour day.

30 minutes extra, ok fine. an hour, that’s pushing it. and i am talking about a full 8 hour day.

i HATE when you have to work off the clock just to finish the shit you HAVE to finish by the end of your shift. thats so fooking GAY and JOOISH and I BET that that shit happens a LOT more now than it did 20 years ago.

and like i said before, you cant even brag that you are GREAT about doing this, as a way to demonstrate your value, because you shouldnt even be doing this. no. just say you do the work in 8 hours what average people do in 10. and then actually stay 10 hours to do 10 hours of work. but clock out after 8. fooking skypes. hehehehe.

PURGE THE BERGS AND STEINS!!!!!!!!!!1

had weird dream last night where i was with Woman2005B aka woman4. She was a weird pale white awkward nerdy virgin, very innocent. but also kinda bitchy and unpleasant. i felt woman2015 That Woman was innocent and sweet like her, but an improvement because That Woman was MUCH nicer to me. haha.

anyway in the dream she was smuggling heroin or something like that, and then i was smuggling HER with the heroin. and i was worried about getting her K’d, because people were looking for her and her drugs. I stood to profit from the whole deal too. i had fee fees for her and she was being bitchy and difficult. on the whole the dream was pretty scary with threats of death and violence. pretty sure i got separated from her. i think there was the idea she had gotten captured and was being raept and tortured. and i felt classic survivors guilt, like i sold her out so i could survive.

anyway not a pleasant dream at all. i had to force myself to wake up, and i was glad i did, because it was getting pretty bad. then i turned over on my other side and stayed awake for a few mins, then went back to sleep, no more dream.

andrew anglin is on the TRS forum now!!!!! oooo how exciting.

i guess my ideal career would be a Social Worker or a Counselor helping Neet men and virgin men, with neetism, despair, anxiety, rels, women, careers, becoming a normie.

but social workers dont DO That kind of work. they do work with people who are WAY more fooked up, like people who get abused, addicts, borderline, sociopaths, abusers, violent, drunks, poor blacks, felons, etc. people who are REALLY on the fringes of society, yet manage to reproduce, and ruin their children with their fooked up ness.

oh yeah. that woman in 2005, she was bitchy largely because I was a bitch and totally approached her the wrong way. namely by being a sloppy drunken fool who was clearly in luv at first sight with her. and i couldnt just be like hey wanna hang out like a normal person. i already hung out with mutual friends. if i had tried just talking to her directly one on one, i wouldnt have made such a damn fool of myself. when i am in a group, its harder for me to connect with the people individually……even if there is not as much pressure on me to “perform” and “be interesting.”

but yeah no one likes a drunk weirdo throwing themselves at you, im in luvvvvvvvvvvvvvv with youuuuuuu pleaseeeeeeeeee marry me.  just SO desperate.

and see i thought she was the perfect solution to woman2005A, who had dumped me shortly before, and i was heartbroken and hated her. but I found this GREAT woman shortly after! i guess that must be what a “rebound” is like………if i managed to date 2005B, which i didnt. so i was on the rebound, and got rejected by the rebound, hahahaha. downward spiral. shit i think the rebound girl would have been GREAT, she was better and qter than 2005A. if i had successfully “rebounded” with 2005B, that WOULD have probably fixed everything hahaha.

http://workplace.stackexchange.com/questions/54138/how-to-tell-a-client-a-reported-bug-is-not-actually-a-bug-but-something-they

i should read this moar

http://workplace.stackexchange.com/questions/23737/how-can-i-manage-an-in-person-job-interview-when-i-have-social-anxiety?rq=1

fookin successful normies hahaha nonnevergfs

http://workplace.stackexchange.com/questions/55541/how-can-i-handle-a-co-worker-who-is-infatuated-with-me-but-denies-it?rq=1

aaannnnndddd heres the woman shitting everything up again. womaning up the workplace with her drama about all these creepy niceguys at work being infatuated with her and making her uncomfortable. women in the workplace is such a giant horrible clusterfook. woman in a male dominated field. FOOK YOU. get out of the male field hahahaha. believe me, they dont like YOU either. could actually get some work done without bitches in the office starting drama hahahahaha.

http://www.informit.com/articles/article.aspx?p=2133369

good thoughts here…..but how about some stories, examples, scripts.

i am JEALOUS of her that she has better skills at ADULTING than I do. can handle all those angry customers, tell them no, this cant be fixed, no, you cant talk to the manager, i am the manager now, i make 17 dollars an hour. explaining shit, or being like, no i dont need to explain this, it doesnt matter. just being able to work an adult job and live a mature adult life. so did she handle ME like a mature adult, because i was legit being that bad?

its never gonna be fun for anyone, answering those calls. youre ALWAYS gonna be nervous and stressed. but you just Face The Fear and Do It Anyway. and i jealous she has that skill. that she succeeded exactly where I failed ABYSMALLY.

well i have yet another chance to Face The Fear when going in for my interview tomorrow. another baby step. the 27th baby step.

but the thing is, heres the thing.wav, is that you have to be PERFECT in these things. whether its getting a JOB, or getting a WOMAN. ONE strike and youre GONE. there is PROBABLY more leeway once you actually GET the job (but not with the woman, with the woman, its always walking on eggshells, minefield, until you make that first, last, only mistake.)

like my job was HARD AS FOOK, but there was some leeway in there. ways to cut corners. I found out how to cut corners, how to evade calls, how to tack on a few minutes here and there, taking long lunches, long breaks, figuring out what i could get away with, how to play the game.

but yeah GETTING into the job is so hard!

well, getting into THAT job was SO easy.

but yeah it IS discouraging to get rejected again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again. and i AM pissed that they couldnt hire me for at least one out of THREE part time jobs at the city. that really irks me. one job i can understand. THREE is just insult to injury. REALLY? I wasnt one of the top THREE?

but yeah its gotten me worried about the OTHER two jobs from last week. I would be ECSTATIC, LIFE CHANGER to get any of those two.

and yeah it sucks that WOMEN can handle “adulting” as the women on reddit call it (really gotta stop reading that shit), but it sucks even more than SHE can handle it. i mean yeah she is pretty much my nemesis hahahaha. it just KILLS me how she can totally succeed where I have failed and throw me away like nothing.

ADD INSULT TO INSULT TO INJURY. that’s like TWO insults on top of injury. BROOTAL. SAVAGE.wav.

MEN HAVE VERY HIGH COMPETENCE WITH LOW EXPERIENCE, WOMEN HAVE NO COMPETENCE WITH VERY HIGH EXPERIENCE

oct 2

ok used this thing called coinpatrol to set up a bitcoin email alert to send me an email when the price drops more than 4% in one day. then i know I should think about buying hehehehehe. surprised coinbase doesnt have this. why not? prob because it costs money to develop and implement hehehehe. cuts into their profits goy.

so how come coinpatrol can do it? i guarantee they have WAY less money than coinbase.

explain this to a caller right now! you’re the expert!

http://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/breaks-breaking-up/593201-girlfriend-dumped-me-unexpectedly-fight-her-give-up

got to stay away from reddit. just go to loveshack instead. i dont even know. loveshack COULD be worse. but at this point its better to take the devil you DONT know hahaha.

ok did 1 app of the day at stupid gay hospital that alwasy rejects me and is unprofessional as fook HR dept. because i can do these apps in 4 minutes and not 14 and didnt want to think at all cuz its sunday hahahaha.

also i didnt understand she was Checking Out Permanently from the Rel. I thought we were just going through a rough patch but that she just wasnt in the process of moving out. i wish she had TOLD ME hey just fyi, im moving out permanently right now. just so you know. no we ARENT gonna talk about this. im getting out as we speak.

because that is not whats implied by “i miss you too, of course well hang out soon”

hehehehe.

and i was too desperate and blind to read the nonverbal signs. but how about giving some verbal signs too, like, yeah, things arent looking real good for this, i dont think i can do this anymore, lets end this hahahaha.

they say not to be a perfectionist…..but you kinda HAVE to be! well, if not 100% perfect, then youhave to be #1 out of all the competitors. not #2. #1. the best. you have to be The #1 Best option among the options for the job, for the woman.

you can be GOOD, you can be CLOSE, but if you’re not #1, then the end result is 100% rejection, same as the retarded mongoloid at the bottom of the heap. private pyle.

and people say dont be a perfectionist…..but you HAVE to be to be successful in life. and then when you see people who are moderately successful in life (like that woman) who are not that impressive. im smarter and better than her!!!!! she’s perfectly average, even a little below average!

but im also not as smart as i think i am.

and then on bad days i think i am really stupid, and i am not really THAT stupid either.

well if she and other normies can be perfectly average and still be moderately successful, then I am probably average too, then why arent i moderately successful? because I’m not THE BEST? THEYRE not the best either!!!!!! they are just AVERAGE!!!!!

you shouldnt be able to be moderately successful if you are Just Average! You should have to be THE BEST in order to be moderately successful!!!!

for someone who naturally asks WHY? WHY? to be able to move on without why, to accept that why doesnt matter, is frustrating. whether its a woman dumping you in a harsh way, or somethign at your job that you SHOULD be able to explain, but cant, and even your employer doesnt care why, because to find out why would cost too much, for too little reward. why? i dont beleive it. show me those calculations.

http://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/coping/597008-dealing-regrets

sheeeeeit. i think the biggest dealbreaker for me is not mudsharking, not even abortions, but just being a damn high number slut.

well, i have been willing to date high number sluts though, as long as they were qt and young. actually having children would probably be the dealbreaker. i have never been INterested in a woman who had children.

but I HAVE been willing to Date women who:

  1. were high number sluts
  2. had mudsharked
  3. had had abortions

so…..SEE!!! I AM WILLING TO COMPROMISE AND LOWER MUH STANDARDS!!!!!!!

now i never was interested in a woman who was ALL THREE. well…..i just dont know do I? its a lot harder to prove they have mudsharked or had abortions than to prove they are a slut. women will openly admit to being with a lot of guys, but arent as willing to admit theyve been with muds, or had abortions. you gotta be man enough to ask them.

ht     tps://heartiste.wordpress.com/2016/09/29/the-wages-of-sluttery/

i think heartiste might have officially come out as a 1488 WN. i hope he does. i mean he’s definitely sympathetic.

women have lots of male friends. men do not have many women friends. WOMEN do not have many women friends. therefore, we can concluded that women are shittier friends/people than men. Corrollary: women only have all these men friends because the men have ulterior motives hahahaha. want to fook them. no this doesnt mean all the men are dishonest NiceGuys. it just means they are desparate, sad, and lonely, desparate for female contact because they don’t have any.

jeez there is such drama going on at damn TRS, people getting banned left and right, infighting o rama, so stupid, a guy i really like was banned, and i dont agree with the banning, but if i complain about it, i will get banned, because its a fascist forum. because we are pro fascist. so what happens when the fascist admins ban people you like. you just keep silent and fall in line? it just seems all so fookin stupid. i dont dislike the guy who banned him, im just disappointed he went ahead and did that. i like both guys. banning should be for true enemies, traitors, subverters. and the guy who got banned was none of that. he just refused to stop talking to some people who had ruffled the higher ups feathers. damn.

also some cliquish bullshit that implies that TRS is softer on phaggotry than they should be. and i think there has been some hot heads and overreactions and misunderstanding, and good people get mad and ban other good people, and it leaves you with a sour taste.

so i hope they unban this one guy in particular.

its not enough to make me stop supporting TRS…..but if they keep doing stuff like this, that is not a good way to be.

theres just several cliques, a schism developing, a pro gay and an anti gay side. so fookin stupid. kinda related to how common filth fell out with the TRS people. now its a similar thing with natt and IM. ie, they are all on the CF side (very anti gay) who say that TRS is a pro gay side because they like MW and “Grindr Greggy” and richard spencer.  dont have a strong opinion on spencer, but I do like MW and GJ, but I also like florian who just got banned from TRS, but I think CF is too blackpill, I kinda like natt, i dunno, this drama is so retarded.

for what its worth, i dont think florian is a major instigator, possibly CF and slavros are. and natt.

this sorta shit has gone on forever with Political Movements. But I like florian and this is pretty disappointing, i really dont think he should have been banned. maybe he will be unbanned. people have been unbanned before.

in the final analysis i would end up on the pro-phag side because i am that big on supporting MW. i feel a Great Connection and Intimacy with him hahahahahaha because he was a despairing neet like me who threw his youth away and had many years of failure and no normies can understand that, and many alt righters are normie chads in that respect and dont understand it.

they will ALWAYS condemn MW because of his past, nothing he says or does now will ever be good enough for these Purity SPiralers hehehe. then they in turn say anyone who uses the term PUrity Spiral is a Phag Enabler. so thats me i guess. a phag enabler. a degen sodomite.

i just dont think its a huge problem, and i will even tolerate repentant gays. i think the muchhhhhhh bigger problem is degenerate slut WOMEN. and again, hate the sin not the sinner here. but i GUARANTEE that pound for pound, female promiscuity and casual sex is 1488000000000000000000000000 times a bigger problem than gay sex. like 1 out of 50 men is gay. 25 out of 50 women are sluts. COME ON. and im just talking about white men and women here.

anyway it sounds like iron march is attacking TRS more than TRS is attacking IM, which is not at all, TRS is just ignoring IM and banning IM sympathizers. and i guess the trs admins decided florian was too much of an IM sympathizer. doesnt mean im still not disappointed! I really liked florian! I hope florian is unbanned! I will still follow florian!

well the admin made an effortpost describing the situation so i appreciate that. im not asking for IM or natt to be unbanned. i just think florian got a bit of a raw deal.

BASICALLY, people like natt, common filth, and slavros of IM are pretty much anti-TRS and denounce TRS as phag-enablers, because TRS is friendly with spencer, greggy, and MW. those 3 guys go on twitter and talk shit about TRS. therefore, i can understand why TRS would not want these people on podcasts promoted on the TRS site.

I would still give florian the benefit of the doubt though. maybe just give him a tempban, or not advertise the episodes that had natt on. florian has the right to talk to whoever he wants, and TRS has the right not to promote those episodes. and natt and cf are overreacting by saying TRS is phag enabling. I read “grindr greggy” for years before TRS even existed. and I am pretty damn defensive of MW. I REALLY do not like people dissing MW. ive never heard florian dissing TRS or MW, thats all Im saying.

anyway. i was gonna say, women have WAY more experience than men being in relships, long term relships, being with several guys for a year, 2 years apiece……yet they are still INCOMPETENT AF, ESPECIALLY given all the EXPERIENCE and TIME they had. HIGH EXPERIENCE, VERY LOW COMPETENCE. in terms of learning lessons, becoming mature, getting good at skills like communication, problem resolution, compromise, communication, etc.

meanwhile, men have much less experience, AND much much MORE Competence! I have learned lessons and skills that women who have spent 5, 10 years of their lives In Rels have Not Yet learned……and Ive spent 0 minutes In A Rel! The Shit I’ve learned just from One sided pining, and friendships, and reading, and being rejected, and aborted pseudo-dating, i’ve learned more than most women learn from 5,6,7 solid YEARS of being IN a REAL rel!!!!!!!!

DAMN!!!!!

That woman was in a rel for 5 years with a guy, lived with him for years, spend 1000000s of hours having secs and being intimate with him, people saying i luv u to each other and seeing each other every day, and i have experienced NONE of that, yet I am STILL more Competent and Skilled and Mature and Knowledgeable than a Woman who has LIVED that LIFE for YEARS!!!!!! What does that tell you about womens AWARENESS and Maturity and Intelligence and Ways of Thinking???!?!?!?!?!?!?!??!?!

I am not just talking about her, but women in general.

well……i am just making assumptions again! maybe she DID KNOW a lot of shit, it was just a matter of COURAGE. she didnt have the COURAGE to do the right thing, so she just AVOIDED it. doesnt mean she DIDNT KNOW any better. she KNEW better, just didnt have the COURAGE to follow through with it.

who cares it was SIXTEEN MONTHS AGO.

but i said it would take TWO SOLID YEARS to get over.

just wish I had some MJ to help me get through those two long years tho!!!!!!

and also a damn job that I could work without panicking and freaking out and having damn terrified RUN AWAY flight or flight reaction!!!!!

sheeeeeeeeit.

oct 3

sheeeeeeit. trying to prep for phone interview tomorrow. glassdoor suggests that the job could pay close to 40k or 42k. 20 to 21 an hour. when i am only looking for 12 an hour. so now I gotta up THAT to look like im not desperate and below their league. well then WHY did their highly qualified HR wimmin with a masters degree pick ME for the phone interview?

also wish i had more exact stories from my old job. i copied some old cases but i neglected to copy my BEST cases.

so thats a regret. whenever i had a big problem or a ridiculous case at work, i should have wrote down as many details as i could, really just copied the whole case itself, and then spun it like what could i do to really save the day here, even if i didnt, and then tell that detailed, heroic, epic story in future interviews. but none of the cases i copied out of there were really THAT great.

its funny. even in my hardest college classes, i never felt like “this is too hard for me, i cant handle this. this is too complicated. im too dumb for this.” because i knew that somewhere out there, there was an answer to the problems, even if the teacher sucked and the book sucked, and if the problem sucked too much, you just gave it your best shot, got 1%, and didnt really care, cuz no one was gonna really BITCH at you about it, AND later you would probably be corrected and learn how to do the problem anyway. you were given readings and problems and lectures on HOW to do the shit. you knew about exams and deadlines from the beginning of the term. sometimes your instructor even HELPED you prepare for exams, like here’s what you really need to know, focus on this, not so much that, let’s take some questions and make sure we understand so and so.

and you NEVER had to explain anything to some bitch who was bitching you out for being an incompetent idiot who was bad at your job. it wasnt such a big deal to get stuff wrong.

your “team” and managers didnt resent you for making mistakes, your “customers” didnt resent you for making mistakes. you didnt really have a team. you didnt have customers. you just had an instructor who was like, welp you got this question wrong, its not the end of the world, and I will help you get your grade up if you are willing to put in the work. im not gonna BITCH at you for getting it wrong. I sorta want to help you understand these concepts better.

our stupid job was the type of job that REALLY made you want to DRINK. like oh god i cant believe i survived that day, OH GOD, I need a STRONG drink RIGHT NOW. and then you would CHUG some whiskey or scotch or vodka equal to at LEAST 1.5 or 2 shots worth, just chug it straight from the bottle. and THEN you would be like wewlad, ok, welp i HAD to a serious SHOT, now I will have a serious DRINK to unwind. then you pour a sipping drink equal to at least 2 or 3 shots. basically a minimum of 5 drinks to unwind from EVERY day.

5 drinks every workday will eventually turn you into an alcoholic and also the hangovers will become a problem. for work.

also, if you NEED 5 drinks, youre not gonna stop at 5. you will say shit, might as well have another. and another. the 5 really easily turns into 10. then youre shitfaced drunk and have to work the next day.

note: i never did any of this. and thats kind of a miracle. i mean i could see drinking honestly HELPING you in this situation.

i am surprised more people didnt drink ON the job. probably because you were in close quarters and could probably smell it.

but yeah every day i went in there, it felt like an Exam I Couldnt Handle, that I wasnt prepared for. Sure I generally got SOME test anxiety whenever i had a college test……but the shit i faced every day at the job was WORSE, because i never felt prepared, AND I had to talk to people who were bitching about their problems and thought I had the knowledge and skills to fix them…..when i actually knew just as much or less than they did.

oct 2 received millennial woes tshirt. not bad woesy. manlet woes lad hahahahaha.

well you know why people arent interested in their race being genocided, because they are too busy working 60 hours a week and then worrying about their job all other waking hours of the week. they simply dont have time to think about their race being genocided because all they can think or do is work. and beleive me theyre not happy about it! they wish they could think about anything else! when i was into the full swing of working, i could not follow news or racial stuff at all! i wanted to, but i was just too exhausted! I was so focused on day to day survival that i could not even THINK about what is happening to the white race!

i mean i CARED sure, but i cared more about how the hell i was going to survive the firing squad every day, the 10 hour Dissertation Defense where you hadnt spent 5 years researching and writing and thinking about your dissertation, your were basically plopped down to defend someone elses shitty dissertation in a field you knew nothing about.

if you had a 12 week boot camp like you do for boot camp, they would probably teach you some Fallback Training so that when you got weird shit, you could just Fall Back On Your Training and go through the motions and fake it till you make it.

but when you have shitty training, you just sit there and go uhhhhhhhhhhhhh like a deer in headlights and say i got nothing. i really have no idea. and youre stuck with me here. my higher ups dont have time to talk to you. youre stuck with me and i dont know what im doing, so bear with me because this IS gonna take a while. you would LITERALLY have just as good a chance trying to fix this yourself by looking at some chinese manual. because thats what im doing. and tyring to figure out what this goddam chinese manual is saying. and your guess is as good as mine.

like going to your doctor and he asks YOU for advice in treating YOUR problem. pretty ass backwards uh?

so yeah a VERY stiff drink is warranted at the end of the day. and if you cant drink, then a bigass spliff or bowl so you can get blazed as fook. i couldnt drink, and honestly getting blazed as fook was better than doing nothing.

my choices were get blazed, take valium, exercise, study shit to try to get a sense of control, go to bed early, and i tried a combination of all of those.

the best was: getting really blazed, then study cases for an hour or 90 minutes, then maybe exercise, then gt blazed some more, then go to bed early.

but yeah i wish there was a book or a mentor who could help you thru the early phases. like goddamn TRAINING WHEELS. and then you take off the training wheels when youre READY, or at least 75% CLOSE to being ready!

oh xfinity comcast i hate you kieran from comcast. not just that they give bad service and are joos, but that they have the AUDACITY to think THIS COMMERCIAL proves that they are improving their service. they put this stuff right out there are WERE SUPPOSED TO BE IMPRESSED? IMPRESSED THAT YOU CAN CHANGED YOUR WIFI PASSWORD? IMPRESSED THAT YOU CAN TWEET TO A SERVICE REP? IMPRESSED THAT YOU CAN SCHEDULE A CALL?????? NO!!!!!!!! NO ON ALL COUNTS!!!!!!!!

as far as customer service goes……learn a lesson from the companies that do it GOOD. (well). Companies that are rated by their customers as having great customer service. and then do what they do. all i know is that zappos and nordstrom have a REPUTATION for good customer service. maybe marriott or hilton too. do what they do.

its hard to think straight when youre panicking because youve never seen this before AND you have no idea how to fix it.

HOW CAN YOU FIX SOMETHING YOUVE NEVER HEARD OF??????

While this situation fills me with panic and dread, the idea Tech Person is EXCITED about the CHALLENGE. they LIKE Bullshitting their ways out of these RIDICULOUS situations.

woman is “ghosted” by man. just like finding/reading “ghosting” stories. this was worse because they were officially dating for 1.5 years. and she still handled it better than i did hahahaha.

https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/living-forward/201511/is-why-ghosting-hurts-so-much

i probably linked this article again but it came up in that reddit

also there are no damn MEN talking about how theyve been ghosted by WOMEN so all these horrible reddit women are saying, “hmm this sounds like a male thing to do”

but yeah fact is reddit is just more interesting and easier to browse and read than loveshack.

heh. if you get put on the state medical mj list……do cops see that whenever they scan your license when you get pulled over? how much work needs to be done for LE to see if you are on that list? would it come up in a regular background check? what about a more serious background check? how many kinds of background checks are there? is the background check to get a sweet 40k a year job in a Good Company more or less stringent than the background check to get in the FBI? or a secret govt clearance? or get a job as a Copper?

heh there was a Creepy Clown sighting a few miles from my house. this has started to become a Real Life Meme in 2016 (actually I remember it earlier, but it seems to be Spiking again in Oct 2016 and imagine halloween has something to do with it) Just a Creepy Clown standing in a parking lot at 2 am waving at cars.

not too far from my house, and really close to HER house. I admit I read the news article sort of wishing to see HER commenting on it. damn. PATHETIC.

some people get the proper perspective, and when the person who GHOSTS them comes crawling back 6, 12, 15 months later, the ghostee says FOOK YOU ASSHOLE, FOOK OFF AND DIE YOU PIECE OF SHIT, which is the appropriate thing to say. her, i would take her back no question and be like i forgive you baby, i can understand why you did this, you were just scared, its ok baby i forgive you.

 

wow. IT TAKES A WHILE FOR SOME PEOPLE TO GET COMFROTABLE WITH SECS, YA DUMB, DIRTY WHORE!!!!!!

and ex boifran WHO IS ALSO HER BEST FRIEND

OH COME ON

PATHETIC.

ABSOLUTELY DEGENERATE.

well its more complicated, this case is, basically she is dumping him because shes still in luv wth her ex, not because he was awkward the one and only time they had secs. so really, nothing too interesting here.

i just hate how women have NO PROBLEM having secs quickly. dont they get NERVOUS? even if it werent degenerate, i would get NERVOUS! i dont KNOW this person! now im showing them my naked body and rubbing our genitalia together? and women have all these goddamn BODY ISSUES ANYWAY!!! and theyre NOT NERVOUS letting STRANGERS fook their naked body??!?!?!?! and they always  forget that women can get pregnant? WTF??!?!?!?!?!!!

you cant touch a womans stomach without them freaking out, but you can know them for less than 2 hours and stick your diseased dick up her cvnt uncovered and take videos and pictures of it. un fookin believable. wearing fooking sleeveless shit to show off their fat arms. yet if you touch their stomach, you get dumped. what idiots.

you get dumped if you dont compliment them the right way. if you compliment them the WRONG way, you get dumped.

yet they let tyrone and achmed spray in their cvnt unprotected.

stop TRYING to make sense of it. even though they dont KNOW its all about reproduction, its STILL all about reproduction, and they choose to have casual sex with the strongest strongman they can find in the short term. doesnt matter if hes the bad type of strong. it only matters that his strength is obvious and blatant and easy to see.

they arent designed to choose a good man for the long term. thats their FATHERS job.

maybe i am going off the deep end here. maybe women CAN make good decisions SOMETIMES. and maybe they CAN have courage and do the right thing SOMETIMES. like for example, ST ANN COULTER. She makes good decisions (except about who she fooks)

and believe me, i could put up with the worthlessness of women a lot better if i just had a nice 12 dollar an hour job and could hold my head up high with that knowledge. just need a JOB and some MJ, the WOMAN is secondary.

well, its also kind of our DUTY as white men to make more white children.

and i guess i could do that with white skanks, but i need to have enough money to take care of my white children. and basically i don’t want to be a white person using a NONWHITE REPRODUCTIVE STRATEGY. it does not BECOME white people to have HAREMS like goddam ARABS or BLACKS.  but we do need to be more dominant and stronger than arabs or blacks, so our women dont leave us for them. because we cant expect our women to have any race loyalty.

BUT if we can train our women…..couldnt we TRAIN them to the point where yes we CAN have some expectations of them? like train a woman to be racist. well, i believe you can train a woman to be racist, you can train a woman to be trustworthy, but you still cant train a woman to make good decisions or be super responsible.

so how do they have these high powered careers?

i mean there are women engineers and shit. you have to have at LEAST a 105 iq for that, even the women. i trust engineers to be smart and make smart decisions. so what about the female engineers? yeah they arent as smart as the male engineers, and yeah they are getting bonus affirmative action points, but i would say they STILL have to have at least 105 iq and be SORTA smart!!!!!

 

NOICE

really r/relships would be easily fixed by just getting MOAR MEN in there. its a god damn estrogen clusterfook which is really ANNOYING.

i just hate how they leave men in horrible ways. every damn woman should take a dumping 101 course. from her father hahahaha. view the end of the relationship as PART of the relship. learn to ACCEPT some RESPONSIBILITIES. show some GOODWILL when you break a poor guys heart. LET him be upset. tell im its NOT HIS FAULT. Respect that you are breaking someones heart. Tell him that no contact would be best. dont say lets be friends. he just wants to be WITH you. Respect the fact that you are PULLING THE RUG OUT on a person. Apologize. Feel BAD about what you’re doing. These are the responsibilities that go along with your RIGHT to end the rel whenever you want, single-handedly. it doesnt come for FREE.

ok. 44 minutes till they call me. sheeeeeit. i havent done anything interviewy for a MONTH. like 34 days.

yeah ive done a .5 “interview” 90 minute written test but no actual talking to people. i HATE talking to people. starting to get nervous.

i mean the worse that can happen is that i spill the spaghetti and sound like a retarded negro. then they just dont call me back. which is essentially the same result as all my other interviews. where i did NOT sounded like a retarded negro, but sounded pretty much like a damn NORMIE!!!!!! sheeeeeeit i COULD have soudned like a retarded autist and it wouldnt have made any difference!!!!!

but yeah i guess its GOOD to get nervous but i still dont like it because i AM being judged and i have to perform. and its a lot different than sitting there at a written test where you have 90mins to 2 hours to really sit there face to face with the test. the test is not judging you, and even the teacher doesnt REALLY judge you if you do bad. actually he wants you to do well, and will PROBABLY make some effort to help you if you put in some effort and ask him. not at all the same thing here. these people are putting you under the microscope looking for any reason to exclude you based on your verbal answers to questions. and the odds are stacked against you 10 to 1 going in. whereas when taking a skool exam, you have a PRETTY good chance of PASSING it!

with job interviews, you have an ALMOST CERTAIN chance of FAILING it!

BIG DIFFERENCE!

22 minutes. come on. 21. welp. i mean i can learn to use a mainframe. i can “learn” to do anything, meaning I can make a flailing, incompetent attempt at doing things, and then say yeah i did it. oh i did it wrong? i thought I was doing it right. whats the right way then? so sorry. I will stay an hour late today and give you a free hour of work to make up for my stupid mistake. so sorry master. and then go home and get drunk and beat my wife and kids hahahaha. that i dont have because women always dump me before i can beat them or impregnate them hahahaha.

BEATING THEM MAKES THEM STAY hahahaha.

18 minutes. sheeeeeit. sometimes when you get nervous you want to Beat Off just to relieve tension even though you are not really Horny Per Se, you’re afraid and anxious and nervous.

11 minutes. feel like an inferior failure hehehehe. real good attitude. looked briefly at linkedin and thought oh these fookin people. getting masters degrees and then getting careers that are in line with that. i just dont understand these NORMIES at all!

i guess this is the benefit of an in person interview, is that right now i would be there, in the suit, announcing my presence, focusing like a boss on the stuff. right now i am just freaking out and dressed like a slob at home. and typing in here 9 minutes before the phone call!

2 hours later

sheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeit that actually went pretty WELL, THANK GOD.

full 60 minutes budgeted by HR lady for Phone Call. impressive. I rambled a bit but was OK. because they said ok you are now invited to an actual interview with the tech manager on tuesday w00t w00t. with a damn pay near 40k and strong 401k matching and 15 days off and health care and MF days sched, etc etc a great bigboy job to get here. almost too good to be true. well ive have interviews with places like that before hehehe. the big 22nd interview.

and then while i was talking to them, voice mail from another place for an autism ABA job. called them back, got The Big 23rd interview. for this friday. now that is just a part time thing but they emphasized an in depth ABA training pogam for the tism. i should tell them i am The Tism Tickler and deal with Autist Sperg Virgin Neets on the internet erryday hahahaahahahahaha

really the job will probably be me wiping “autistic” negro chirrens asses hahahahaha with great struggling. they just wont bend over nicely and let me wipe their asses, they are gonna be running around getting shit all over the place including my face hahahahaha.

well tech that will be the 22nd interview? anyway my real goal is 25 interviews and i am very close now. 452 apps, 23 interviews.

and a damn interview tomorrow for fire extinguisher inspector hahahaha.

well the big thing is this “systems specialist” job with the mainframes. that is the new #1. nice to get these GOOD ones once in a while, although it is more disappointing not to get them. but its somewhat good for the confidence to know that i am IN THE RUNNING for actual good jobs with actual good companies.  the HR wimmin was impressed that i did 2 minutes of research on the company.

DO THIS. THEY REALLY DO LIKE IT.

I mean, I do it all the time. they LIKE it but they still dont HIRE me hahaha.

and i had a YUGE dream with THAT WOMAN last night. as in she was in it a lot, i was talking to her a lot. we were basically living in a dorm together, with at least 6 people living in a kinda big dorm room or mini barracks. she was my roomate. i was trying to talk to her and hang out with her and she was just being very very bitchy and showing no interest. this is normally not a big deal if shes a random woman. BUT SHES NOT A RANDOM WOMAN. and it is so painful to see someone who once cared about you and made time for you, TURN into an ice cold distant bitch. so that was the gist of the dream. as it is with most dreams i have about her. well i guess it is technically BETTER than nostalgically remembering the Nice version of her. and all i am left with is the Bitchy version of her.

super long post here huh. i didnt plan it this way i promise.

also did 14 pushups. did not do any job apps but fookit. had a 60 minute phone interview (counted as .5 an interview lasting 100 minutes for 60 min interview plus 40 mins prep), got TWO invites for actual in person full blown interviews, and also did prep work for fire protection interview tomorrow and printed the shit out. i feel i was prductive enough hehehe.

also did laundry. and just did 3.2 mile powerwalk.

so yeah finally felt a shred of confidence, which i only get after i have an interview for a decent job and i feel i did ok. so i feel confident for like 1 hour a month hhahahahahaha. its kind like how you feel like a BOSS after you bang a hot bitch hahahahahahaha. no, i mean “attractive woman.”

or for that matter, after you cuddle with some Boo or Bae that you Like Like and they give you warm fuzzies.

but yeah i felt last night before i had that stupid dream, i read a pretty good thread on TRS forum on women, and im not gonna paste it here, because that is officially grounds for BANNING hehe. but they were like yeah women are FOOKED but you gotta still do your duty white man. dont worry about finding a red pilled wife, just find a simple semi-conservative normie nonslut, and you can train her. have a strong hand.

and then i thought, shit, i was not strong at all. and if i had been really strong and played my cards right……i bet i probably could have made her TINGLE for me and get interested in me. if i had just had a strong hand. she wouldnt have lost all respect for me, and we would have lived happily ever after. fooked that ass 6000000 times, spent 1488000000 hours cuddling, and had a ton of white babies.  if i had only been strong. women feel totally differently about a strong dominating man, than they do about a weak pussy man. and i was totally a weak pussy.

so that makes me think, really it WAS all my fault, because if I had acted differently, I could have Got The Girl. it wasnt that She Decided we wouldnt be Compatible. if i were a stronger man, she would have decided we were (((COMPATIBLE))). sheeeeeeit.

so i hate That kind of guilt.

well i wont make that mistake again in the future hopefully.

but i may never luv a woman again. and the trs thread basically said, get used to the idea that you as a truly strong red pilled man, are never going to really LOVE a woman ever again.

 

 

IF MEN HAD AS MANY FEMALE FRIENDS AS WOMEN HAD MALE FRIENDS, WOMEN WOULD BE EVEN MORE JEALOUS THAN MEN

dfgsdhdfgn

oct 1

so manlet woes has done his first major semipublic speech at this dutch erkenbrand conference in setp 2016, well done lad. i remember when he was just a despairing neet making black pill vidyas a few years ago, now he is kind of a leader talking to rooms of people and people paying him thousands of dollars to fly to the US and make speeches here that I will not be at hahahahahaha.

i was wondering if he would wear a suit but he just wore a black shirt which is pretty nice. i know dressing like a neet slob is his   A E S T H E T I C   but he really deserves better and it shouldnt be his aesthetic. but you can really easily slip into dressing like a slob when you havent had a job or a woman in YEARS hahahaha.

well i guess now he has a woman and what he does is kinda like a job, so yeah he SHOULD have more confidence because of that and dress better. i know i would hahahaha. anyway i hope he is with a decent woman who is at least a 7 and wont dump him.

on /r/relships there are a ton of things where there is a woman whose “BEST FRIEND” is a man or vice versa. bonus points if they once dated and or fooked or were/are FWB. and then the woman writes in bitching that her BF is jealous of her “BEST FRIEND” who is a man, who she once fooked, and its the BF’s fault for being controlling and insecure and immature and having jealousy issues, dump him now and find a more mature man.

had a dream with HER in it. i was hanging out with her i think in a group of people and she was being kinda bitchy to me, and I was passive aggressively talking to her like, remember when we used to be better friends than this, we used to be closer, you used to be nicer to me, what happened, why dont you ever want to hang out with me any more, and she was just being bitchy, like well im busy and youre annoying. be cooler and maybe id want to hang out with you more. but youre not cool enough to hang out with me one on one.

basically just acting like a random B rather than someone i was Actual Literal friends with. but those days are gone. LONG GONE. yet i still have the occasional dream. not too often thank god.

and yes you SHOULD be suspicious when a woman has a lot of male friends. even a bit JEALOUS if your GF has many male friends. how do you think SHE would feel if you YOU had MANY female friends?? just a little bit jealous!!!!!!

but just because its so much more common for women to have lots of male friends, than for men to have lots of female friends, the women think its just normal to have lots of male friends. when instead they should be asking themselves, hmm, why dont men have lots of female friends?  and how would i feel if the guys i dated had many female friends, the way i have tons of male friends?

i believe you would see a lot of jealousy from the women then, but you just dont see it now, because men just dont HAVE a lot of female friends for the women to be jealous of!

IF MEN HAD AS MANY FEMALE FRIENDS AS WOMEN HAD MALE FRIENDS, WOMEN WOULD BE EVEN MORE JEALOUS THAN MEN.

another simple truth women just dont understand and which even sounds profound to me, because the simple truth doesnt get stated nearly as much as it should. so we forget simple truths.

heh some people it takes half the time to get over it, ive seen some say it takes the SAME amount of time to get over, i would probably be closer to that. or how about 75%. yeah. cuz the first few months dont really “count.”

so, i had rounded 2.7 years up to 3 years and was saying 1.5 years, which puts me at feb 14 or so (hehehehehe how fitting) but… ok 75% of 2.7 years is 2.025 years. lets just say 2 years. which makes new dday mid july 2017. ok thats fine too.

HERES THE THING hehehehe channeling k1ke enoch. heres the thing. i wouldnt hate women so much if they did a similar thing, go no contact and just Stop Dating for Two Years. but they DONT. they are dating and FOOKING a new guy within two months MAX, even though it really DOES take them two years to get over the previous guy.

THEY FOOK AND DATE OTHER GUYS WHILE THEY ARE GETTING OVER PREVIOUS GUYS. THIS IS SHAMEFUL AND DISGUSTING. DONT DO IT. THIS IS WHY MEN DONT LIKE YOU HAHAHAHAHA.

just be ALONE. DONT TAKE DICKS. DONT DATE. DONT DATE OR FOOK for at LEAST a YEAR. then I would have a LOTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT more respect for women. i dont want to date or fook women while IM getting over a previous woman. why do YOU have to FOOK men while you are getting over your previous man, ya dumb wh0re?!?!?!?!?!?!?! I accept being single and celibate for TWO YEARS!!!!! however long it takes to TRULY get over the person!

btiches on reddit think everything is abuse, and women not crazy enough to use reddit need to be abused in order to make them stay with you! you cant win! hahahaha.

basically i am wndering if reading /r/relships is TOXIC to me because its so toxic with stupid crazy women with their stupid crazy opinions.

well, the opinions themselves can actually be good: “why dont you try communicating with her like a grown adult and clearly addressing the issue.”  women SAYING this. but i’m pretty sure this doesnt really WORK with women, so if you DO it, youre screwed.

i dunno. maybe it does work with some women.

but i hate how women get a pass to be immature, and oh she cant communicate because shes ONLY 25 and shes ONLY been wth 20 guys and had 5 serious boifrans. you need to be 30 years old, been with 50 guys, and had 10 serious bfs before you know how to communicate like an adult.

NO YOU DONT!!!!!!!!!!!

 

 

25 year old slut hates 28 virgin male, wants to dump him for being awkward with secs. women HATE male virgins. just tell bitches that you dont even know how many bitches youve banged. you lost count at 50 or 60.

dump him because hes a virgin and hes never watched porn. what a fooking bitch. critiquing every little thing he does. disgusting. she has NO respect for him whatsoever and thinks its ok to demonstrate that publicly. holy shit. he should dump the fook out of her.

she was so shocked and offended that he was NERVOUS and AWKWARD with secs and was awkawrd about putting on a con-dom. sheeeeit IM NOT A VIRGIN (hehehehe) and I would STILL be nervous and awkward about this because i havent had secs with a woman in 12 years. i think even if its only been 2 or 3 years you will still be awakwrd.

she is obviously WAY too comfortable with casual secs and he needs to get with less of a god damn whore. why doesnt he get with a nice mormon girl, it sounds like he is a mormon, and the OP is WAY too sex positive. sex positive is BAD. negative.

one good commenter says she is showing a huge lack of empathy for him. i agree. women have no empathy for men. men generally have more empathy than women. everything women can do, men can do better, include raise children, and except actually getting preggers and making babies. artificial wombs and sexbots and mgtow all the way hahahahaha we just dont NEED women for ANYTHING!@!!!!!!!!

this successful, decent, well-adjusted, good husband and father material virgin man DEFINITELY deserves a better woman for his First Lover, than this obnoxious slut. so sad. he is a succesful attorney making a lot of money and she STILL doesnt respect him because hes a virgin and puts on a condom weird. RUN from this skank.

if youre polyamorous (woman of course) and calling this poor guy your “side piece”, that is incredibly dehumanizing and disrespectful. “side piece” means some piece of trash that you are cheating with. you just can reappropriate that term because you are a poly slut. god damn i hate poly people hehehehe especially the women.

yeah i really gotta stop reading it. the women there are so bad. they are turning me into a woman hater. the WORST women gravitate to reddit. definitely getting a skewed sample there. and 80% of the people THERE are women. the worlds worst women. they’re not sending their best. so, i gotta find a place with more MEN, and where more of the women are decent.

i am getting a negative view of women by reading REDDIT.

also it doesnt help that WOMEN are more likely than MEN to be interested in and talk about relships. and its kinda weird for me, as a man, to be obsessed with the topic. men should have manly interests.

well i dont apologize for being interested in relships. suck muh dick.

http://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/coping/571382-haven-t-dated-decade-28-virgin-consdering-suicide

hehehehheeh going to loveshack. i HOPE they have better women, and more men.

its OK if things run their course. its OK if they fall out of love and dont want to work on the Dead Shark any more. but treat that damn dead shark with some dignity and try to minimise their pain when you leave.

http://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/breaks-breaking-up/597124-do-all-dumpers-come-back-eventually-feel-regret

i was at church and saw a white family i had never seen before with 3 beautiful white teenage girls and i thought O MUH LAWD. one girl was was wearing a large ugly sweater which covered her tiny bottom, and she had her long hair done in two braids like some fookin aryan goddess in the wheat field. she was so qt and adorable i couldnt even think secsual thoughts. well, i COULD, but they were Couched in protective, loving feels. sort of like how a good father loves his daughter. and this is what women cant udnerstand about how men luv women. they think men just want to pump and dump women. WRONG. just the men THEY have been with. but at least half of men have good will and have this BEAUTIFUL love for a woman, KIND of like a father loves his daughter, but there is also a secsual component there.

maybe MEN dont understand the way WOMEN luv men?

well i think ideally we come back to the father daughter comparison. just like a good daughter is always loyal and loving to her father, same with the wife to her husband.

http://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/second-chances/310401-why-dumpers-eventually-want-reconcile-why-dumpees-eventually-don-t

unrelated hehehehe

well if she came “crawling back” to me, i would absolutely take her back, if she had been with less than 5 guys in the meantime, and didnt have any kids. those things would give me pause.

IF MEN HAD AS MANY FEMALE FRIENDS AS WOMEN HAD MALE FRIENDS, WOMEN WOULD BE EVEN MORE JEALOUS THAN MEN.

let that sink in, WOMEN hehehehehe.

and men, for that matter. if men had that many women friends, women would be INSECURE AF. even more than they accuse the men of being.

http://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/second-chances/421931-when-if-ever-does-dumper-truly-miss-dumpee-why

also i want to use MJ just because i think it would help me continue to get over her. i mean its just gonna take TIME (1.5 to 2 years) and that is kinda like chronic pain that you just have to suffer through for 2 years, which is long time. and MJ helps take the edge off of chronic longterm pain. and helps you sleep. helps pass the time.

http://evalion.org/

i guess i am sorta glad to see evalion back in action, but i just really want her to not do degenerate shit in her personal life, like take noodz and attention whore for orbiters. but i agree she is a fairly effective voice for pro-whites. im not going to CUCK for her as some perfect aryan princess though. i mean she’d really have to make a serious EFFORT if she wanted to convince me to be her man hahahaha.

 

yeah i mean i dont really trust HER because shes a WOMAN and i dont trust or like women, but i do generally like her content and i believe she is sincere until shes not hahahaha. i mean maybe she can help turn other women. but do women really listen to women more than men? are women really GOOD at anything other than making babies? well, they are good at getting attention, thats for sure. which, in evalions case, means getting shut down quickly. which is wrong. she shouldnt be shut down.

i guess my concern is, are all the new people she is reaching, will they be around in 1 or 2 years, or will they listen to anything any qt gurl says???

thing is, theres plenty of qt leftist gurls making videos about why being an antiwhite is kewl…..right?

also i think pathetic virgin guys are probably sick and tired of feminists and that could be their gateway to the right. they wont beleive feminism even if a qt young gurl says it. so when a qt young gurl talks abotu anti feminism and pro white ring wing stuff, they get into it.

we need more strong, successful, powerful men in the alt right. 25 year old men who are doing well in their careers, making 100 grand, just decent boyscout eagle scout white men who are prob politically moderate or apolitical, and are just boyscouts making good money, get them to start to care about their whiteness.  we dont need losers and neets who watch girls on youtube. we dont need people like me hahahahaha.

i mean for 50 years the pro white right has has no shortage of misfits and weirdos and creeps and felons and neets and just total fookin losers. drunks and druggies who get 1488 swastikas tattooed on their face. people who think effective political action is getting drunk and doing lone wolf attacks against nonwhites.

we NEED successful, respected people. managers and successful, respected white men with good careers, wives, and children. something i would LOVE to be but probably never will.

this is why i dont go to real life alt right meetups, this is why i dont actively search for women. because i realize my lack of value as a huge loser in life with nothing to bring to the table for real people hahahahaha.

like when i became friends with that woman, and later fell in luv with her, i was not on okcupid looking for women to date. i knew my mate value was so low that i had no chance. i had voluntarily taken myself off the market and was not even trying. it sucked that i even knew a woman i could possibly get feelings for. well at least now i dont have that problem. and my mate value is even LOWER than it was then, hehehehehe. making 10 dollars an hour at a part time job. i knew i couldnt get a woman with that! well now i make 0 dollars at 0 hours a week! at least then i had a job I had stayed at for 5 years without going crazy at all! i was in NO danger of Panicquitting that job! i was just coasting along and then one day i met HER. if i had never met HER i never would have become friends with her, would have never gotten that new terrible job, would have never gotten feelings for her, would have never gone crazy, and would have never hit muh Lowest Point Ever. I probably would have still be Coasting at that awesome, but unresepectable, job.

that would have been shameful but not nearly as shameful and pathetic as what I am in now.

also when you have a female friend its a LOT easier to not be a woman hater. because you can always look to your female friend and be like SEE? nothing wrong with HER, and we get along just fine. not all women are horrible. not all women want nothing to do with me. i am a normie man and am capable of getting along with women. it kind of “anchors” you. and without that, you can go off the deep end! and that is where i am right now.

so yeah basically when i get hateful or annoyed at women, like That Woman or these awful reddit women, I just need to:

  1. think of this one real life woman I know who I am really only minor acquaintances with but she is a good person and not a whore
  2. think of ANN COULTER, who might be the best real life woman ever.

yeah i know “St Anne” is a dirty mudshark and degenerate and only crazy women are POLITICAL and she is grossly anorexic…..but it is hard as a right wing person not to like her. i like to think if i were dating her she would dump me in a mature manner, hehehehe.

she would say, im sorry, but i just cant commit to you right now, i dont want to put in the effort, i cant do it, im sorry to disappoint you, youre a good person and you’ll find somebody who is able to give you what you deserve, but it aint me, im sorry. i totally understand if you block me and go no contact because im mature enough to understand that its hard to be just friends when you get dumped, and i am trying to be a good dumper here and appreciate your pain as the dumpee. sincerely, st anorexic anne the mudshark hahahahaha.

no i give a pass to ann to be political, to be a mudshark, to not have children, to be a catlady, because her content is SO GOOD hahahaha. i bet she is Joo-wise too, she has come close to saying some joo-wise things. which is REALLY impressive given her stature. i luv ann.

anxiety might be my bigger problem than despair, i think constant anxiety is the root cause of the despair because the anxiety kept me from doing anything: jobs, women, taking chances and risks, taking action.

well i do go to as many interviews as i can. its not like i skip the interviews………….which many people with anxiety DO!!!!!!

i just cant get the job and i am constantly anxious over Whats Gonna Happen on the job. but I am actually fairly confident I CAN eventually get a shitty anxiety provoking job after going through like 30 interviews.

 

WHEN YOU SEND MESSAGES THEY DIDNT CONSENT TO RECEIVING, ITS LITERALLY RAEP

sheeeeeeeeit

sept 20

meet with shrink today for first time in over a month, should be entertaining hahahaha.

reddit. if youre upset about being dumped, then youre automatically CONTROLLING and ABUSIVE and immature. werent you ever upset about being dumped? also i think that YES you ARE a little bit on the hook for your Ex Partners feelings at the end of the rel. its not a goddamn get out of jail free card. its not a waive all your responsibilities card.

BREAKUPS INVOLVE RESPONSIBILITIES TOO. thats what reddit and apparently 50% of women dont seem to understand hahahaha.

https://radio.therightstuff.biz/2016/09/20/the-daily-shoah-103-vice-shitty-stories/

wewlad, daily shoah gets a VICE reporter on the show, then within hours the TDS soundcloud is shut down (again!). apparently its a 20 year old gurl with valley gurl vocal fry hahahahaha oh man dis gon be gud.

also bulbasaur is back and this is legit a big deal, hope he stays back.

anyway i basically just hate the feeling of not being able to HANDLE anything. go to a job and not know what to do, bullshit your way through things, deal with bitches bitching at you all day, just surviving one day at a time on the edge. you just want to come home and smoke big fat b0wl until you are blazed as fook, and then immed go to bed. but you cant because you dont have a source for MJ and you cant do drugs in front of your family, plus you shouldnt be doing drugs anyway hahahahaha.

but i also think it really HELPS when you have a stressful job you are just trying to survive one day at a time. helps you Switch Off after a horrible day, and also to slow down and get some rest for another horrible day tomorrow.  more effective than just about anything else. lack of hangover. the next best thing obviously is exercising STRENUOUSLY till exhaustion. cant do that EVERY DAY though.

well, one day you could cardio strenuously, then the next day LIFT strenuously. there you go.

applied for job at ticketmaster. maybe eddie vedder can call me up and bitch at me hahahahahahahahaha.  that fooking phaggot. he couldnt HANDLE working a DAY at ticketmaster. the 424th job.

i guess 500 is a lot nicer, rounder number than 400 eh?

yeah i am digging this bell witch pretty well. maybe i just really like that cover art hahahaha.  anyway they have no guitar just bass and honestly i couldnt really tell cuz doom usually tunes their guitars so low that it almost doesnt matter hahaha.

this is a 28 year old woman. he’s my best friend and we are looking forward to an AWESOME FUTURE with NO KIDS and LOTS OF CATS.

of COURSHE, REDDIT sees nothing wrong with this whatsoever. totally valid lifestyle choice.

ABSOLUTELY DISGUSTING.

because KIDS are SO UNCOOL and CATS are AWESOME. RAWR!!!! KIDS are LAME and prevent you from achieving success in your CAREER, making a difference with nonwhite children in africa and arabia, and from TRAVELING.  this is normal stuff for a 28 year old childless woman to be thinking. because they are not going to have fertility problems in the next 5 to 10 years or anything.

sheeeeeeit rejected by ticketmaster SAME DAY as applying. THANK YOU!!!!!!!

and this is with my New Cover Letter Now With Brief Getting Out In Front Of the Issue Explanation of Gap!

i was thinking, every man should have a female friend or acquaintance that he gets to Cuddle With on the Regular. like once every 2 weeks at least. it would not be a Dating or Secsual or Monogamous Rel of course. well, of course the guy would probably fall in luv with the gurls. so the gurl should have the training to manager that inevitability, because i believe if it were managed well, the pros could outweigh the cons.

but then its a slippery slope to degeneracy like fook buddies and all that degen.

but cuddling isnt degen at all!

yeah but you shouldnt do it with just anybody and be a damn no strings attached cuddle slut…..should you?

because if you cuddle with a cuddle buddy, aren’t you increasingly likely to get feelings for them? yes. same as if you fook them.

but casual cuddling is WAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY less DEGEN than casual fooking. better for your soul.

had pretty uneventful meeting with shrink. just vocalizing my somewhat growing discouragement with job search, etc. things i might try doing differently, like focusing more on “low hanging fruit” like part time jobs and the god damn temp agency, etc.

listened to first hour of new daily shoah where they gangraep cutesy female journalist. i mean she sounds like a college idiot even though shes gotta be like 28 or 30 years old with a Professional Career since at least 2007 with atlantic, vice, maybe msnbc. i bet she went to a good college, maybe even ivy. theres no reason for her to talk like this unless she is coming in bad faith. they talk about the issue of bad faith. it takes 20 minutes before the good talk gets going. she starts with coy bad faith questions about pepe and the guys are very tight lipped because they see right through the shit.

really i think they should do this more often, and have it be just mike enoch vs the journalist, so it doesnt seem like they are ganging up on the poor widdle gurl.

ok heres the one they did a few weeks ago with the gawker journalist, i will listen to that one next

i have NEVER been good at debating my enemies, sheeeeeeit i cant even debate my leftist FRIENDS. when they start saying something leftist, i just keep my mouth shut. if i were as strong and sharp and quick on my feet as mike enoch, damn that guy is good. i might actually have a chance at challenging my friends preconceived notions.

well, im sure you go easier on your friends. just chip away slowly and make little chinks in the armor, then sit back and let them question themselves. that is what i would like to do. but if you get a damn enemy like a vice journalist, of course you want to DEMOLISH them.

and i want to see more of these kind of debates.

well i dont really want to listen to the MW / Sargon debate. Although I think MW has gotten more ballsy since then. No, I want to hear Tuff Guy Mike Enoch DESTROY LEFTISTS.

sept 21

sheeeeeeit. so i ran into this guy i used to work with at this auto related store today. he told me a bunch of people went to work at this one company that did not surprise me, i knew a few went there, turns out it was more than a few. he said they paid 18 an hour. he interviewed for them but did not get the job. i said sheeeeit thats some bullshit, fook them, whatever man, forget about it.

he let slip that That Person was working at this Company which I wont name but now I know the name of it and I wont apply there hahahaha. i think he said she interviewed at the same company he did and also did not get the job, and some people he felt shouldnt get that job, got it. i THINK he said she interviewed but did not get it. if so, i was happy about that, because he is smarter than her, and if he didnt get the job, she shouldnt get the job. also she doesnt come across as very strong or sharp or smart. but i guess she got something. not 18 an hour though. prob not.

he has no idea my history with her and i didnt ask about her, he mentioned her just as he was rattling off people we used to work with.

he mentioned some of my favorite people from the job, and they were being “bums” not working. me too i said, hahahaha. i actually talked to this guy pretty well, like a total normie. well we got along fairly well, i think i liked him more than he liked me tho hahahaha.  well whatever. he’s got kids to raise and he is a busy guy so i just chalk it up to that. plus he is nonwhite so, whatever. he is not a bad guy though! he deserves a 18 dollar an hour job too!

also i dont think he fooked That Woman. well who knows. maybe she fooked everybody. he did not seem too interested in her tho. also she was not a huge slut when i knew her. i have this fantasy narrative where she became a huge slut the moment she dumped me hahahaha.

well now i know the name of her company so i know not to apply there. and i am not tempted to look her name up to find any info about her. not that i have. i have NOT. but now i might look up the company and see how much her position pays hahahaha. something having to do with documents and forms.

was driving home late last night and had awful feeling, why is the car pulling this much, whats that sound, whys this feel so weird, oh shit, do i have a flat tire, and turns out yes yes i definitely do. instant panic hahahaha.

ive actually never successfully changed a flat tire as shameful as that is.

well i carefully drove to a gas station about half a mile away and tried putting some air in the tire. didnt seem to help at all. not sure i was putting the air in right though.

called fam to let them know what was going on. i was scared and helpless and weak hehehehe so shameful and pathetic. plus they might have insurance that has roadside service.

anyway the fam came out but they didnt really NEED to, because i managed to figure out the complicated procedure of jacking the car up, removing the bad tire, and putting on the spare tire. then putting some air in the spare tire, and driving carefully home.

so that was actually kind of empowering and confidence building. i was always worried i would put the tire on wrong, or jack the car up wrong, put the jack in the wrong place, not put the tire on right, the tire would come fully off while i was driving, etc. but no, everythign went very well. and now i just feel bad about making the fam come out there and get worried. was like 8 miles from home. didnt want them to think i was in jail for drunk driving or smething. i have not drank in 7 years!!!!!

i had always said one day i would practice jacking up car and replacing the tire, just so i could do it quickly and confidently when needed. but i never got around to it hahahaha.

but i managed to pretty much do it yesterday. it was kinda slow but i eventually made progress. next time i could do it a lot faster.

it was like oh shit am i doing this right, am i screwing up the car, i dont know what this is supposed to be like, and then ultimately everything worked out. kinda like my job hahahaha.

but its one thing when you are responsible for yourself, vs taking the responsibility for someone ELSE and THEIR problem. like me trying to tell another person how to change their tyre, when I had never done it myself.

so yeah if i had to do it again, i would be a lot less nervous. well assuming i had the correct tools and a properly inflated spare tyre hehehe.

but yeah it was not quick. it was closer to 60 minutes than 30 minutes. if you know what youre doing you could prob do it in under 20.

had dream last night featuring woman#….3? i cant even. no i think it was woman4. from 2005. she was a prudish innocent asexual type gurl, i liked her Secsual Innocence and total lack of sluttishness. but yeah she was not interested in me and i came on too strong hahaha. but she was a decent choice i think, would have made a good gf if she were willing. which she werent hahaha. i would have totally monog trad dated her for 2 years. shared firsts with her hahahaha.

anyway in the dream she was being nice to me and cuddling with me, possibly some making out. and that felt really good. smiling and gazing at me and cuddling and making out and touching, nothing too degen though. so that was pleasant.

so it was nice to feel those feels for someone who was not That Woman.

Sheeeeeit, i’ll take a Previous Woman from 11 years go, over That Woman, ANYDAY!!!!!!

anyway the guy i talked to told me His Price. His Going Rate. he wont take a job for less than this amount. it is a pretty respectable number, a little high, but it’s good to think highly of yourself hahahahaha. and he is worth it. hell were ALL WORTH it, its just, can you GET it.

the number was higher than 15 an hour hehehe. and certainly higher than 12-13 an hour like i am aiming for now.

i dont know why that big company didnt hire him. he is a pretty normie guy and pretty smart and why the hell wouldnt they want a smart nonwhite.  maybe the guy seems laid back or stoned or something? but he doesnt smoke MJ, at least not regularly! he’s just kinda laid back. which is GOOD! i dont get it. do you have to be electrifying?

i mean yeah i try to present as more energetic and electrifying, but just come across as nervous and anxious and virginy hahahaha.

great fun listening to death panel destroy the widdle gurl journalist. i mean she sounds like such a retarded idiot. you cant even have a productive conversation with these people hahaha. i look forward to listening to the male gawker journo they had on a month ago. maybe he can actually not sound like a 13 year old moron gurl.  its amazing this woman can make good money and i struggle to get a 12 an hour job!

yeah ghoul is autistic and these conversations should really be mike enoch and the person alone, cuz once mike pins them down, he can deal the finishing blow, but with all the other 5 guys sperging out, it allows the journo to squirm away and dodge questions like a sneaky little J.

it was funny to hear seventh son snap and get angry, he is usually very chill. but hes like shut the fook up you god damn liar.

so yeah i hope this becomes a regular thing and that mike e can structure it a little better. take the good suggestions of the commenters. i havent even looked at the forum yet but supposedly there is pretty good proof that it was This Woman Reporter who got TRS soundcloud shut down.

well she makes money because of her jooish boifran. well hes just a damn journalist too!

but he comes from a family of jooish doctors. monay.

hehehe the people at trs do their due diligence.

also she used to be married to a white guy who was a military guy AND a leftist who fabricated stories of military being abusive to iraqis for the new republic in 2007. he recanted his story and she gained a reputation as being very lazy on fact checking. theory that she is only still working because she dumped the white guy and started fooking a pure joo journalist.

not sure where she went to skool. georgetown?

nope university of missouri columbia, journalism, 2005.

ok, that is the same thing as MU aka mizzou.

she possibly met her lying leftist x husbando there. not sure. dont really care.

but yeah the grilling on TDS could have gone a lot better by having a more intimate convo with k1ke enoch, maybe he could play nice for the first 20 minutes, lure her in, then trap them like a rat.

but of course i understand that you should show this vermin no respect.

i guess i just cant help white knighting for white gurls. i sadly would probably bang her 6/10 fetal alcohol syndrome, 34 year old, hipster problem glasses wearing, body, vocal fry, leftist, lying.

im just curious to see what happens after this. like what kind of article is she gonna write. i mean she was made to look like an IDIOT. that cant be good for her story.

i wanted funeral doom, why dont i just go with a trusted name here, and not just listen to the first song only, hahahahaha. i hear the third song is also pretty good.

interesting seeing that guy from the job. he was on my good list so i didnt mind talking to him. realize i hadnt seen him in over a year. 14+ months. WOW.

cant help but think of That Woman and how i am a just a small insignificant part of her Distant Past, and she should be the same to me, but she’s not!

but she’s moved on, new job, 14 months, def new cox, maybe some new lovers that she can fall in luv with, new friends she can be interested in, new life, new everything.

tho i am sorta glad she wasnt BRIGHT enough to get that 18 an hour job all the other people got. because she really is not a very sharp thinker in the technical field. she just is more emotionally mature and disciplined than me hahahaha. she is more mature than me hahahaha yet she cant send 1 text to end a 3 year rel. i am less mature than that apparently hahahahahaha.

but yeah i couldnt help but think of her when i saw this guy. bringing back memories of the awful job from so long ago. yet i cant get over HER. i cant really get over that job either hahaha. this man i talked to didnt hate it nearly as much as i did. he was very chill and laid back and could roll with the punches very well. i wish i could do that.

yeah i totally understand why she could throw a person away. it just hurts a LOTTTTTT and I guess I dont understand why she couldnt send a messanger to just say sorry for the way this all went down, have a good life. that would have helped a lot. couldn’t you care enough to do that?

maybe by the time she thought of doing that, some time had already passed, and she figured it would be like ripping open an old wound again. which makes sense.  i can understand that.

but she BLOCKED ME, which says DONT CONTACT ME. I DONT WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU. I WONT LISTEN TO YOU. WHEN YOU CONTACT ME, THAT’S AGAINST MY CONSENT, AND MAKES YOU THE BAD GUY.

so sending messages that will get blocked makes you the bad guy, becuase they didnt CONSENT to receiving those messages. its LITERALLY RAPE hahahahahaha.

heh. the amount of dollars per hour you make is like your LEVEL.

are you a loser making 11 dollars an hour?

or are you a huge winner making 18 dollars an hour?

its “ONLY” 7 dollars. but that 7 dollars makes ALL THE DIFFERENCE in the world between a loser and a winner. thats 14k a year between big loser and big winner. hmmm.

22k a year vs 36k a year.

i think savage.wav comes from the michael savage show and not necssarily devil may cry. just a thought.

referrinf to the sweet audio drop on the fatherland haha

im honestly not this ADD. this is just mental multitasking, i have to have two trains of unrelated thought going at all times. i blame the job really. with all the damn CASES that we did.

plus im jealous of how SHE used to work on 3 or 4 or 5 cases AT THE SAME TIME. she was a better multitasker than me.

but was she ultimately more effective? or efficient? i dont think so.

btw if i havent made this clear, multitasking is ABSOLUTE BULLSHIT and anyone who says its a good thing, you should punch them repeatedly in the face.

multitasking is a jooish lie, scam, myth, farce, lies, bullshit.

https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/why-non-business-students-shouldnt-take-business-dimitri-bianco-frm

real controversial title here!  and i did not watch the video so…..i guess its some young MSc who got a sweet 100k job for what he went to graduate skool for, and he is complaining about Grad students taking Business classes because they want to work “in industry” as opposed to……didnt watch the video. in industry as opposed to academia, government, nonprofits, public sector i guess?  and they think taking a marketing class will somehow make them more hirable? but it really doesnt? and they should just get into a better grad program instead? but why are you in grad skool if its not a good one? because people will just go to grad skool. not even joking. but how could just about any MSc degree be “worthless?”

because some degrees that seem worthwhile are worthless. like a phoenix MBA hahahahaha. but thats a business degree.

well, like maybe if you get a “general” library or education masters degree. or social work. i guess biology is shitty too.

heh. this is why i avoid graduate skool. why i avoided it for 10 years. i would rather try to survive in the real world. and i havent figured out how to do that yet! apparently by being able to be calm and make decisions and bullshitting in Tough Situations!

heres the TDS with the vice gurl, it hadnt been uploaded to youtube yet yesterday hehe

i mean it was kinda a trainwreck and could have been a lot better, but it was still very entertaining and illustrative. and cant stop listening. but it still could have been better. like yeah actually talk about the JQ for an hour. but she’s not gonna come back, she’s prob the one who reported TDS to soundcloud. she wont come back to have a more productive discussion.

basically there was a lot of wasting time of people interrupting, her being an idiot, some of the guys being autistic. something more focused with just mike and the reporter, talking in depth about one issue, like the JQ or White Privilege or Housing or Immigration or Punching Down or Systemic Racism. pick one and only one. yeah i know its hard when theres all these good interrelated topics. but you cant give them any place to run to, any chance to change the subject.

anyway yeah it started getting good near the end of the interview. it took 2 hours to start really getting good.