sheeeeit got email from hr to take an online DIVERSITY TRAINING MODULE. and it is over the top. wish i could share some of it without doxxing myself. absolutely ridiculous.
diversity is MORE than just a VALUE we hold. hmm guess its PRETTY damn important then. so youre saying your company values arent important? no, just that diversity is even MORE important ahhaha. diversity is THE MOST important thing. even more than revenue. or profit. well…..i think this is technically a kinda sorta semipublic nonprofit org. there arent any bonuses or anything i dont think. i mean i guess “profits” get rolled over into bigger budgets for the most important departments? just guessing. not an accountant or business development guy. dont have an MBA or even ANY masters degree.
heh. this multitasking i am not so good at. i open 20 tabs and get nowhere on all of them hahahaha
but yeah i have made a YUGE step out of neetness towards normieness. I’m not all the way there, but i went from 0% to …. 60% of the way there. YUGE. well, maybe 50%. still. very signif to go from 0% to 50% overnight like this, and with people who are all nice. i feel kind of BAD. like shouldnt i be doing more? i WISH i could come up with SMART Observations and questions to show Potential to the people i work with, who ALL have masterz degrees and PhDs. eavesdropping on conferences where everyone has masters and phds, talking about high level administrative shit and smart people talk. not just smart people, but smart people who leveraged their smarts into a smart person CAREER and have converstaions like this every day!
i mean this is about the only thing that could convince me to even want to get a masters degree!
I guess i technically did STALK That Woman because state law says you can stalk via EMAIL. and you just need TWO Noncontinuous events. I am reading yet another 129 slide dversity training slide on title ix, secsual harrassment, dating violence, domestic abuse etc. i learned that i Am An Abuser and A Stalker hahahahaha. I Stalked that woman by sending her at least three Unwanted Emails!!!!!!!!!
yeah well i stopped! but i didnt realize i was wrong for sending the emails! i still dont really regret or feel remorse for sending the emails. i think it was awkward and pathetic and weak af……well what if i SCARED or FRIGHTENED her??? see i dont even think that, i just imagine her having disgust, contempt, or annoyance for me. but maybe she WAS scared. i mean im sure she was frightened and overwhelmed by the situation. hehehe well SO WAS I.
a total of like 230 slides to read, like fooking 90 minutes of tedious shit. not getting paid, not learning shit i need for muh job….so why i am NOT blazing through this as quickly as possibly without reading it? dunno. i am getting to that point. at 9 pm i just start clicking.
” Research generally shows that any type of interaction with the stalker (including talking things over “one last time”) only feeds their obsession. It is usually best to avoid all contact with the stalker and to keep detailed records in case of legal action. ”
hehehe DONT talk to them, DONT explain, if he doesnt get the message, hes a stalker. hahaha.
yep im a stalker i guess. it took me like a month of craziness to get the message.
” Sexual violence impacts the LGBTQIA (lesbian, gay, genderqueer, bisexual, transgender, queer, questioning, intersex, asexual) community, not just straight and/or cisgender people ” hahahahaha i mean its 230 slides of this stuff and i am not even getting paid for 1.5 hours it takes to do this.
the ridiculous part is i am so NOT busy at muh new “JOB” I could have probably done it there and passed it off as work related training. SUCH a diff work environment at this place than at the High Stress Big Company Tech Support environment.
i guess i would be doxxed for someone that knows me personally. but i actually dont have any real life enemies! i mean i have one person who thinks i am a piece of shit, but mostly they have just FORGOTTEN about me hahahaha. otherwise most people just think i am a pathetic loser who never reached hsi potential and they have no desire to harm me more than i’ve harmed myself.
and the people who are enemies of this blog due to muh spencerian white supremacy and unhinged hate mongering, who read this blog obsessively and try to figure out who i am….well theres probably more of these people than Real LIfe Enemies hahaha.
yeah well im not slandering anyone by name. am i libeling a COMPANY? uhhh i have taken pains to ANONYMIZE the companies, only describing them in intentionally vague terms. i dont WANT to be doxxed, i dont want any of my employers to be doxed, im not trying to do any whistleblowing or exposes. i am just trying to survive muh own life…….and to support my race and my people, even though i’m a pretty weak member of it. a GOOD alt right white nationalist is a much bigger NORMIE WINNER than me.
i mean i am just trying to be a NORMIE. its hard. i have NEVER felt like a full normie. i felt kinda in the BALLPARK of normieness the last time in…..early 2015. THAT IS A LONGASS TIME AGO, to not even feel within yourself to even be in the BALLPARK of normie, and jsut feel like a pathetic neet loser for ALMOST TWO FULL YEARS. 1.8 years. thats a LOT to BOUNCE BACK from. and its not gonna happen overnight. i mean i am trying. i actually DO feel i am trying my best, thank GOD.
and thank GOD muh new job is RIDICULOUSLY LOW STRESS. maybe this is GOD REWARDING ME to balance out the year and half long PUNISHMENT i was SUFFERING hehehehe. and then another year and a half of another kind of suffering after that. Basically I have been in some kind of suffering, with the job, with the woman, with feeling like a neet loser, and being a neet loser, all that adds up to FULLY THREE YEARS of pain and suffering that only NOW is coming to an end. thats a lot to bounce back from hahahahahahaha.
its just so WEIRD this position im in. why did they hire me? i have NO experience or background in an area they all have masters degrees and phds in. I have been rejected by like 25 other jobs i interviewed for, some of which were probably less…..intellectual than this one.
were they just having PITY on me? they are nice people.
was it because i worked at the org before and had recommendations from people at the org, INCLUDING someone who worked in the department currently? that prob had something to do with it. i also knew a second woman in the department who sorta knew me but seemed to really really like me for some reason. maybe she wants to molest me, hahahahaha. this is all part of her long con. at that time i didnt realize she had a masters degree too, but of course she does hahahaha.
im not THAT intimidated by MASTERS degrees, especially not by those not in the sciences, however yeah. MS’s and esp PHD’s, i am a little intimidated. there are some Ed.S.’s, i didn’t even know what that WAS until today ffs. I find out the very smart woman i work with most regularly has one of those in addition to a damn masters degree. the EdS is basically another graduate degree in between a Masters and a PHD. She is very smart and very accomplished but also very nice and sweet. I can’t even wrap my mind around it. I would be more arrogant with that kind of resume. CV.
ehehe what if all these super progressives mention oh hay i was watching cnn/msnbc or reading huffington or young turks and they talked about this guy richard spencer, can you believe this guy? he just went to TAMU and there were huge protests. i cant believe you have these NAZIs at our colleges, look what trvmp is bringing. man this spencer, he tries to sound smart and dress nice, but that hair is ridiculous and he’s a nazi, hate is hate! f00k hate! beat the hell out of hate! love trumps hate! dont hate!
i might be tempted to say yeah ive heard of him, i mean i think people know that i watch the news hahahahaha keep up on Current Events like any Educated Person, or any Smart Person at least hahaha.
the SMART thing to do would be to say, nope didn’t hear that story, never heard of this spencer, yeah neo nazis are bad news,but i mean this isn’t real news, i mean does anybody take david duke seriously for example HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA he’s just another david duke.
of course i don’t say yeah i luv spencer and duke, i am a card carrying alt right white nationalist, im thinking about getting a trvmp maga hat, and i also voted for trvmp. and i am thinking about meeting up with other local real life white supremacists! i donate money to white supremacist organizations!
probably should not mention these things, hahahahahaha.
i mean spencer is gonna be appearing at some other big univs soon, and i am very very happy about that.
give richard some money so he can do appearances in your town hahaha
i heard rumors he was gonna appear at another major university and that would be a total shit show, as this huge univ is also notorious for being super leftist even by university standards! and would probably get more protestors than at TAMU, which i guess has a reputation for being “more moderate” hehehehe.
but yeah just look how all the media treats spencer: as a stupid, KKK, nazi, ignorant, hatemongering, crazy, unbalanced, bla bla bla. really shows what big liars and frauds and libelers the media is hahahaha.
it has made me like spencer MORE. Ive been aware of him for years but never really listened to him until now that he is appearing in the MSM alot. hopefully it continues.
thing is, i am sure there are 30 goys on TRS who could do just as well as spencer in a public debate. so they should get out there. hahaha. but they are too busy making tons of money in their good careers and obviously dont want to dox themselves.
anyway. i just wonder where muh damn employer gets the money to employ this ridiculously well educated people doing what seems to be a rather low stress job, and then essentially pay me to sit around and do nothing and chit chat with people, which i cant even do because i am autistic hahahaha. no i do try folks, i seriously give it the old college try.
i overheard a meeting of probably confidential information with advisor talking about a young man as being a typical gamer type, socially awkward, mousey, the type that always feels like an outsider. not even in a judgmental way, but just describing an obvious observation. still i couldnt help but feel that it was just a little bit judgmental. she had never been an awkward 19 year old kissless virgin like the male they had met with. shes got a masters degree, a decent career, no shortage of interested men, might even be married. if shes not an “ALPHA WIDOW”, constantly pining after The Alpha Who Got Away.
furia came out with TWO new albums in 2016 like 2 months apart. i GUESS the first one was more like ambient noise and not really music. this one is really fookin music that i listen to for 30 seconds and has a ridiculously good eargasmic drum sound. this is ABSOLUTELY a band to watch and with that album cover and Reasonable album length, might have a contender for A New Album I Should Listen To hahahaha.
poor appalachian whites use SNAP/EBT/welfare to buy SODA, then they do a SODA BLACK MARKET and SELL the soda to convenience stores just to make some money. sell it for cheaper than they can buy from wholesale distributors of course.
author williamson is a notorious cuck neocon, so is theweek probably, so they are probably happy whites are living in such abject poverty.
but yeah i just learned about this SODA BLACK MARKET and had to mention it.
the first 5 minutes, and the last 27 minutes or so, of spencers speech, are either missing or EXTREMELY bad quality in the other vid. this periscope has generally better audio of the WHOLE speech. ironically i think it was a black leftist who filmed it hahahaha. thank you nonwhite.
sheeeeeeit. day off. wanted to go shopping. went to burlington and supermakt. wanted mainly new gray dress slacks to replace my 34s which feel and look way too big. found sale of gray dress pants that were 32 but god damn faggy slim fit and i hate this shit, i want CLASSIC fit all the time, never slim fit. i want pants that sit HIGHER on the waist, not lower. and slim fit is always lower.
but it was also hard finding a good gray color that was not too light and not too dark. the slim fit was the perfect color. i tried the pants on, size 32 – ALWAYS TRY PANTS ON, ALWAYS – and they looked alright, look a shitton better than current gray dress pants, so i bought them and dnated the old ones. i just wish it were classic fit.
also wanted a purple dress shirt, inspired by millennial woes new royal purple t shirt series ahahahahha. i didnt find the perfect purple in muh size. i guess it would be ok to buy shirts online, but VERY risky for pants. bought the kind of red wine burgundy purple shirt, fits good, looks good, decent color.
at grocery store they had one of muh favorite brands of khakis on sale (store brand hahaha), gray, was like shit. i wanted a new better fitting gray khaki pants too. I TRIED THEM ON. they fit good and looked good. also size 32. unfort they sit a bit lower on the waist than i like. you can tell this by how long the Penis Zipper is. the longer the better, means more space between the crotch and the top of the waist. want a lot of space there.
so basically i bought 2 pairs of gray pants. one dress, one khaki.
dnated the other pair of gray khakis that were ridiculously, unwearably big.
so yeah it looks like i really AM a waist size 32 again.
so i figure GET RID of all the bigger stuff so that if the pants start getting tight again, then that is motivation to lose weight.
get to your ideal weight and then GET RID OF ALL YOUR BIGGER CLOTHES.
also did some xmas shopping.
now i am finally getting a chance to write. been pretty BUSY lately! i guess its probably better, but i dont like not having time to write, not having time to read my posts which are currently posting, not having time to stay caught up on one damn podcast (fatherland.)
sheeeeeit go and give Andrew Anglin money right now!
took a BENEDRYL earlier semi recreationally.
yesterday was the last day of new job for week. i had “only” been getting 6 hours or less of sleep a night, and stayed up till 12am last night, and suddenly felt tired as shit, more tired than i have felt in 16 months, tbh. the tired you only get after have subprime sleep for 4 nights in a row. felt honestly drunk and or stoned. defintely can see how that would hurt driving and i was driving hahaha. got home and sleep the sleep of the dead, more solid deeper sleep than even nyquil. did not wake up even once during the night. slept very solidly till essentially 10am when i was like oh shit i have to get up, only negros and neets sleep past 10.
then was like shit want to do some productive shopping. but found self wathcing stuff on yt, new black metal like that furia above, and this black doom thing YITH
black doom one man project from US where the guy looks liek a fashy normie TRS chad. i like that. also new from 2016.
interested in NEW music again thank god.
think the new job is changing muh life for the better, will gradually improve muh life, and attitude, good lord i really need that, attitude change, lifestyle change. i mean i need the attitude change so bad. that will set the foudnation for the lifestyle change. i today i sorta felt it happening THANK GOD!!!!!!!!!
get new job, yeah it “doesnt count”, but its about 20 times better than what i was doing!!!!!
see that my pants are too big and i need some new clothes…..so on muh day off i replace them with new clothes and get rid of the old too big ones.
i still feel like an unprepared idiot at muh job……but everyone is nice AF and i dont have to answer the phone and i dont get put into high pressure situations with angry people where i cant get help!!!!!!!!! i would stay here for the rest of muh life…..if it paid better than 13k a year hahahahaha. well its better than the ZERO k i made for the last 1.3 years!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
so yeah this is gift from GOD. I have essentially had three years of suffering in one way or the other, yeah theres been some ups, but more downs, and i was in a fooking THREE YEAR RUT and now i am SO CLOSE to coming out of it, being Higher than i have been in THREE YEARS. THANK GOD.