DAMN DIRTY NONNEVERGF NEVERGAPS

nov 15 2016

hmmmm interesting. received an HR authorization for background/reference check, mentioned “onboarding.” my poor, mistaken, confused judgment tells me they wouldnt do this unless they were planning to offer me the job. at large school, part time job, 25 hours a week, 11 dollars an hour. yeah kinda piss weak but i got excited nonetheless because its something and because i like the place. they wanted me to sign this pdf and to send copy of drivers license. i did.

so yeah what i CAN say is this is a GOOD SIGN which SUGGESTS an offer, and is definitely a step in the direction of an offer. uhhh lets say 50 50 hahahahaha.

and even though its a “piss weak” job, i got a surge of confidence thinking about actually getting the job.

i mean that would be a huge thing. even if its terrible pay, its good people and stress free. essentially i would be getting back to my sweet power level at age 26 hahahahahaha.

have a low stress job, work with some nice people i already KNOW, try to get rec letter and reference from Respected Leader, move into FT job at the skool ideally.

i mean i am fairly more ambitious and mature than i was at 26 hahahaha. now that i am living for the 14 words hahahaha.

heh. you say please confirm receipt and of course they dont. you have to “interpret the directives” of the shitty manager but you cant even deduce “please confirm receipt” means “send me an email back just saying yeah i got this.”

i was in a real similar situation when i got the previous job with the skool 7-8 years ago. coming off a long period of Unemp then, about 1.5 years, getting desperate, drinking, still a shitlib, i was not sending nearly as many apps, or nearly as many INTERVIEWS, cover letter was piss weak, in other words, i am putting forth a 6000000000000000000000 times stronger EFFORT now. trying a lot harder and getting rejected a LOT more. also for about 1.5 years, slightly less haha. 7 years older. getting desperate. and now i might get a similar job. at around the same time. last time it happened in november. this time it is shaping up to happen in november. very cyclical hahahaha.

well this time i would be a lot more assertive, and be like listen, i will give you 6 months to a year of the best work you have ever seen, but i need to get an FT job at this skool. period. i am a 35 year old man and i want to have a FAMILY.

now i may never have a family because im already too old and its too late. but wanting an FT job is legit because everyones gotta have one and i think most reasonable people understand that hahaha.

temporary, part time, midnight position. SIGN ME UP hahahahaha. prob for 11 dollars an hour. wow. at least i am not THAT desperate. this is at the hospital that always rejects me anyway.

anyway. it would be pretty ridiculous to get a job finally. back then, well i was a lot younger and dumber and more autistic. i mean i really HAVE improved a lot since age 26 hahahaha. got a stronger resume, cover letter, jobs document hahaha. got some hardcore working experience. got heart broken a couple times. didnt do any cuddling, making out, or fooking hahahaha. got dui and stopped drinking. most importantly, stopped being a pathetic shitlib and became a far right alt right white nationalist hahahahahaha.

but i had a realllllll shitty year and a half year, prob most challenging year of muh life.

i think at age 26 it was EASIER to get a job because i was at least 6 years younger, i looked younger, i guess people were more willing to give me a chance. i certainly did less than 10 interviews, and probably less than 100 applications. now its 28 interviews and 520 applications. just to get a part time job like i had before. convince people im not desperate and not overqualified but also THE PERFECT fit hahaha.

oh no, im not overqualified! im UNDERqualified! so hire me!

still no hard drive. well i need BOTH the hard drive AND the windows disc. that will probably come later.

shit i am REALLY getting my hopes up here. what if they cant get ahold of muh references? like my manager at latest place. he probably changed his phone number and deletes all emails related to me haha. no he was a nice, good, principled man…however i didnt want to take advantage of him by having 99000000000 people call him every day on my behalf when i left the company in a nervous wreck because of a WOMAN hahahahaha.

i might even have to go to a dr and get a tb test for this job. im sure they wont pay for that hahaha.

maybe i have tb and thats why i’ve been so low energy for the past 15 years hahahaha.

and what do i say to the people i know from a few years ago about how i left the company? well ill just say i was laid off. the department closed and everybody was laid off. which is TRUE. but i left BEFORE that. so ill just lie to them. its ok to lie to coworkers.

one woman would probably ask about That Woman, because she used to be a mutual coworker of me and that woman hahahaha. so my story for her is, yeah we dont really talk any more, we kinda grew apart. i dont know what she is doing but hope she is doing well! the end.

and thats it. then be the best worker, kiss ass, and give them several hours of free time each week. raelly impress the director, get him talking about himself, have him write me a letter of rec and also copy it to my linkedin page.

if anyone says, just get a masters degree, i will say, hey you pay for it, i’ll get it. hey, you GUARANTEE me a SPECIFIC JOB, and ill get it. CALL THEIR BLUFF. DRAIN THE SWAMP. NOBODY can GUARANTEE you a specific job in 2 years when you finish a degree. they might as well give you the job right NOW and then give you huge raises based on you progressing thru the degree. and ive never heard of one case of that ever happening to anybody.

i will get a masters degree in the 14 words hahahaha.

if i get the job then i will sack up and ask this guy i have in mind if he can get me some MJ because i know he Partakes occasionally. dont need it right now but if you are making a purchase in a month, 2 months, i will give you 100 bucks right now. then i can enjoy that, get used to the job, after 6 months or so, take a month and clear my system out, then start job search again hehehehe.

with some of the big names that i have tried for this time, but they rejected me PROBABLY because of the damn GAP.

so then i wouldnt HAVE a gap anymore and would have a much better chance of Getting A Job with them.

fookin GAPS man. they are the WORST hahahaha. they really are hahahaha. but they SHOULDNT be! its REALLY not the end of the world. but you get a gap and people treat you like a CHILD MOLESTER. jobs, women. get a gap and suddenly youre a neet nevergf.

its fookin STUPID. i would hire ONLY people with gaps hahahaha.

people with gaps are the best people ever. i dont TRUST these shady nevergaps.

damn dirty NONNEVERGF NEVERGAPS!!!!!!!!!!!

fooooook starting to get my hopes up like never before here, this is not good hahahah.

it is like when i first made out with woman2004, i was like uh oh guise ITS HABBENING i might be getting muh first ever gf here and she is qt as fook, might be becoming a nonnevergf normie chad here!!!!!

of course i didnt, although i did become a nonvirgin hahahahahahahahahahaha that fookin slut.

did you know that you dont need to be a congressman to get elected to speaker of the house hahahaha. they could choose you or me or andrew anglin or weev or skype enoch or sventh son. muh buddies. i am liking ghoul more and more too hahahaha. handsome man. should have many white children. im sure he’s no stranger to the ladies. normally i dont trust nonnevergf nonvirgin chad normies……but the 1488 ones i am ok with hahahaha.

im honestly not THAT weird famalam, but this GAP has CRUSHED my confidence, as has The Major Setback I went through. losing the job, and losing That Woman in such a terrible soul crushing way. followed by a 16 months of despair and gap. it CRUSHES your confidence!!!!!!! i hope you never have to go through it, unless you are a shitlib degenerate!!!!!!! its enough to CONVERT you! FLIP you!

well i was ALREADY flipped! I was already converted to the Church of GAWWWWDDDDD and 1488!!! WHAT MORE DUES DO I HAVE TO PAY????!!!?!!?!!?!

i also lost a ton of weight!!!!!! went from overweight to perfectly normie/healthy!

i applied for 520 jobs and did 28 interviews!!!!!!!!

i started going to the gym, i got 2 new Fitted Suits!

i wrote 14888888888888888888888888888888888888 pages of stuff, i voted for god emperor trump. leonard cohen died. i never talked to that woman once. i havent sent her an email or ANYTHING in 15 months.

2:38 pm : just got email officially Welcoming Me On Board. oh THANK GOD. wow. cant believe it. this is a bigger deal than TRUMP WINNING.

2:38 pm, november 15, 2016, the minute muh life changed hehehehe.

yeah i mean its ONLY 11 bucks an hour and ONLY 25 hours a week and ONLY  275 dollars aweek and ONLY 13750 a year……but thats 13750 more than i made in the past 16 months.

plus its PROBABLY going to be low stress, its DEFINITELY going to be Fairly Lesser Stress than previous job, AND I know at least 2,3 people there, AND everybody seems nice or is CONFIRMED nice.

ok tomorrow i will go to medical place, get physical and tb test, then go to HR, drop off all the forms, and email or call the actual department and let them know. maybe get a haircut too. get some pants altered haha.

i dont want to doubt myself! and hold back from doing shit. just be active and DO shit, right or wrong hahahaha.

the director emailed me. then i called him, left voicemail. was debating whether or not to call him. I left a voicemail telling him I planned to do the HR stuff tomorrow and that i would be very open to starting before the date given, which gives more than enough time to do muh TB test. well maybe. maybe it takes 2-3 weeks to do a TB test hahaha.

funny, on the form it said “NO DRUG TEST” hahahaha. NO DRUG TEST. they didnt drug test me last time i was hired here 8 years ago, but they didnt require the TB test then either. well either way i dont have to pay for it hahahaha. good.

so i left him a voicemail, and also replied to the email.

printed out all the shit and signed it that i need to give to hr.

maybe if i show up on the first day with a short beard then they will let me have a short beard hahahahahahahahah i mean it helps me feel masculine.

well i felt nervous about calling him because i always feel nervous talking to people, managers, or customers hahaha. good thing i didnt talk about that in the interview.

i dunno i have to thank GOD for this achievement. thank GOD and thank my FAMILY for putting up with me and allowing me to live. and that GOD for giving me enough persistence to do 27 interviews and 520 applications over 232 days of struggle. 7.7 months. 181 hours.

i was 30% over my initial estimate of 400.

13.95 minutes average application time.

89.2 minutes average interview time, including prep time but not driving hahaha. yeah that should really be a little longer no?

so yeah. THANK GOD if i have not said that enough. The Larpagans will scoff at that but I know my role in the world. to be wriggling, subservient vermin with no power of my own, so everything i “accomplish”, I owe it all to THE LORD hehehehehe.

hey im not too proud to BEG is all I’m saying. Ive begged before and Im sure I will beg again, but lately ive kinda got tired of begging. but what else can you DO but beg? NOTHING!

hehehehe.

THANK GOD.

I mean I dont want to die and then GOD can accuse me of not being thankful when a good thing happened.

 

DECENT PEOPLE HAVE REGRETS

may 12

muh d1ck sheeeeeeit smacks lips. bix nood mufugga. ayo hol up. hol up.

tick tock wagie! back to work! time is money! add value for the team! trim the fat! back to work! time is money! another day, another dollar! streamline your workflow so you can be more efficient and produce moar! theres always room for improvement! study other people and try to improve your workflow!

big interview with post office on monday. 4 days. they want me to bring social security card. they already had me do a drug test. so in other words, i have a pretty good chance (50 50 hahaha) of actually getting the JOB.

well I am not sure how much off the job studying I will have to do for Letter Carrier. not as much, hahahaha. who knows if there is even an intranet I can log into.

if i get mauled by pit bulls or something there is probably some waiver I sign saying the post office will not give me any money for that hahahaha.

i saw some stupid quote by willie nelson saying “99% of the worlds lovers are not with their first choice, thats why the jukebox plays” or something, meaning there is a super high demand for songs about not luving your luver I guess, or pining for your First Choice hahaha.  i generally like willie nelson but come on man thats degenerate. what are you really trying to say here, has the weed clouded your mind, probably.

my response is, dont date someone unless they are your first choice, its a lose lose situation, and its a j00ish thing to do to THEM.

whenever i have gotten feelz for a woman, they were always muh FIRST CHOICE. That Woman was my First Choice and I guess still is. so now I have been in luv with her since about october 2014 and just waiting for it to fooking die off already. i mean theres nothing to sustain it. but the memories and sorrow hahahaha.

hey they say dont settle for someone who makes you an option not a priority. well priority means first choice. option means second or third choice. nope. i wouldnt want to marry and i sure wouldnt want to have CHILDREN with a second or third choice. it seems super unfair to the poor children.  i would rather find other ways to support other white children. white orphans hahahaha. maybe adopt a white orphan hahaha. but thats hard to do.  thats why everybody adopts nonwhite babies. theres not a huge supply of adoptable white children.

yeah i mean i guess i would do the right thing and try to take good care of my children even if i had them with a third choice woman. maybe i could grow to not hate the woman hahahaha.

but i would rather i be in luv with the woman i create and raise new life with. than use the poor children to try to force me together with the unimpressive woman.

but luv itself is overrated. thats not how the real world works. you wait for luv, you wait forever.

well, i disagree. women have been in luv YOUNG, and I think they should marry these guys rather than say “im too young to get married. i havent experienced enough of the world.” is always code for i want to be a huge slut. run away from me. i will be a terrible wife and mother.

shit i would have gotten married at age 21 if the woman had any interest hahaha. of course she didnt, i never even dated or fooked her (woman1).

it was amazing that I developed feelings for other women. a miracle from god. youd think once you found the luv of your life, you’re not gonna find anyone again. but i sure did. turned out she wasnt the luv of my life hahaha.

but That Woman sure was! this one was different because……out of all the women I have luved, like maybe 6 of them, she was the ONLY one I had a Real Relationship with! so that was a big deal.

i mean i fooked a gurl once but we didn’t have a Real Relationship! thats what i mean by pseudodating.

and there was NOTHING “PSEUDO” about the Real True Actual Literal Relship I had with That Woman.

ok going to get oil change tomorrow. called the car place like a real man. actually a real man would change his own oil. i am unmanly because i have literally no interest in cars. no interest in sports. no interest in gadgets and tinkering and workshops and tools and stuff. the manliest thing is that I do like guns, but I dont really care about the technical shit, like check out my sig sauer .4839038u5 caliber hollow point bla bla bla with i dont even fookin know. I just want a standard handgun made in a white country like US or germany or sweden or russia hahahaha.

but i am too lazy to do all the paperwork. I mean I would sound like a weirdo if I went to the gun store to talk about guns. they’d be like, uhhhh you are not a gun guy. you want this gun so you can do something WEIRD with it. Im not selling you a gun. and id be like how is protecting the second amendment WEIRD mufugga. hahahaha. and they say its not, but YOURE being shifty and disingenuous. you Reek of Weird Vibes. DRIPPING with DESPERATION. give off a really weird vibe hahahaha.

that is another big self criticism. I see myself as Just Giving Off a REally Weird VIBE that people can’t explain, they just FEEL it and SENSE that I am Weird. Like I am Emitting an Aura. Reeking and Dripping with desperation and weirdness, like pigpen is reeking waves of dirt and dust and BO. and everybody perceives this. men, women, employers.

but its really not true 100%! when you get to know me you see i am not THAT weird!!!!!!!! I was actually able to become Close Friends with an Attractive Young woman for 2+ years! and she didnt think I was weird during that time.

I was fairly well liked at my normie job for a full year!

so yeah this self image of myself as a BIG WEIRDO has got to stop. but ive kinda ALWAYS thought of myself as a huge WEIRDO. so that is a problem. sets you back on your confidence haha.

MJ makes MOST people degens and is a net negative for them…..but not for me! Ima Special Snowflake!

so i  became aware of this youtube gurl over the past month or so, evalion. this adorably cute, marriageable young waifu type, who is talking some pretty hardcore 1488 anti j00ish stuff. i guess after the sinead “dumpster fire” I am a lot more suspicious about this sort of thing.

yes she is insanely cute and i prob would marry her hahahaha. i am a sucker for pale skin and long dark hair.

BUT she has no business wearing such revealing clothing! red flag #1!!!

and muh buddies on TRS say she is obviously batshit crazy, personality disorders, bipolar, borderline, hysterical, sineadlike.

also I just dont TRUST pretty young gurls who get involved in The Movement at this level as Content Creators. I worry it is just a trend for them. I hope she proves me wrong in 5 years. but even sinead just appeared out of nowhere less than a year ago. then they get 20000 subscribers really fast, then within 6 months do something really stupid. its like real life. you get with a qt young gurl, seems too good to be true, because it is, and then 3 months later, its over, and you are horribly disappointed, heartbroken, and angry.

I like and trust wife with a purpose because she is not so “extreme” and she has 5 fooking kids. that is 5  great bona fides for me!

like i say, i hope evalion proves me wrong, but young women appearing out of nowhere and making these kind of political statements…..are usually batshit crazy and prob will turn away from the movement within a year when they find the next edgy thing.

besides with trump and everything, the “alt right” is getting moar attention, such that your internet savvy leftist professional colleagues who read buzzfeed or whatever might have read a shitty article about “white supreemist richard spencer” or somethign.

like you dont just show up to something like this. its a JOURNEY that takes YEARS and you should be able to talk about that journey. otherwise you are probably just being brainwashed by your aryan warrior boifran. why dont you make some babies with him instead of making vidyas and showing Thirsty Betas your secsy white skin.

come on TRS forums some time, these guys will put you in your place baby hahahaha. then you will call them a bunch of virgin woman hating f4ggots hahaha. and then get into flat earth or mudsharking or passing out paper flyers to white hating leftists about white genocide hahaaha.

making white babies and being faithful wives is the most important way these women can really help the movement. not by being crazy attention seekers.

come back when you have 5 kids like wife with a purpose.

but yeah. how many guys you been with? any black guys? how many abortions you had? you gotta vet these female entryists the same way you would vet a potential wife. cuz this is important shit.

i mean if a woman is into “basic bitch” political stuff, thats less concerning. like if they have  trump hat or vote for trump. perfect. but a 1488 white nationalist gurl is just too risky. its like when i was YOUNG, i thought it would be AMAZING to have a qt gurlfran who liked METAL. now i realize how bad of an idea that would be. especially now since women are getting into metal as its getting more hip. so you get hipster sluts, crazy sluts. just give me a nonslut who doesnt listen to music at all.

NILE is a great death metal band and more importantly seem to be great people. karl sanders seems like the nicest, sweetest, chillest guy. they dont seem to do degenerate drugs or bang bitches. i think karl has a wife and kids. the most they do is smoke MJ and drink beer. they clearly have tons of fun on stage, as they should. not a bad job to have. being a huge moneymaking band, be beloved by critics and fans, never selling out. they are totally living the dream. i really wish I liked them more, but I have such a hard time with the clicky drums and “overproduction” and I have wished and wished that nile just had a more “underproduced, raw” sound on record.

maybe i just need to watch more live shows hahahaha. but its really hard to get a good sound there too.

I would be like guys lets go into the studio and record the whole album as live as possible, then we might touch it up a little to bring out the best sound possible.

full disclosure: i saw nile in 1999 when i was a young teen and they were a few years from their peak. this was between “catacombs” and “black seeds” and they were playing tiny clubs and making a name. it was on my short list of best ever shows. very memorable. everyone in the band was mingling with the crowd and all very friendly. that made a big impression on me. some of the crowd were not familiar with the band but we were. we were up near the front of the stage head banging like metal nerds. it was a tiny club, much smaller than in this video. we we pumped up and the band was pumped up and it was a great show. everyone in the band was super outgoing and friendly, including karl sanders, who kinda seemed like a big drunk slob, but I think he was just chilled out from smoking MJ and playing a ridiculous show. very tight. we bought some CDs and they autographed them. just a great show and a great memory for a young metal fan. we had no idea they would get so YUGE in metal, but they sure did.

and they seem just as honest and genuine and sincere and friendly, so thats good. but after 10 albums they have a reputation as being a bit “wanky” and cramming 9000000000000000000 riffs into a riff salad and fast for the sake of fast, and having a sense of hubris that they cant tell that their songwriting is suffering.

well i can’t say their songwriting IS suffering! indeed i found the catacombs album to be VERY challenging to my 16/17 year old mind, and I made such a conscious effort to wrap my mind around it…..which ultimately proved very rewarding. but yeah. i got the black seeds album but then got off the nile train after that hahaha and maybe that was a bit premature on my part, is all I’m saying.

just try to remember the friendly, great guys who are making this kind of overwhelming, dizzying, confusing music hahaha.

like if they had more slow riffs and slow songs like on their “festivals of atonement” EP. that was less of a “progressive, technical” album but it showed some very solid songwriting. was less confusing and overwhleming and riff cramming.

anyway those were more innocent times hahaha and the old nile concert was a nice memory there. a sense of connecting with the people who make the music. them being really down to earth people. non autistic non neets. bigass normies in the best possible way. regular nice people doing something really kewl.

who knows maybe maybe other bands are just as Nice People. but i used to go to a lot of concerts and that sense of connection was often not nearly as much bla bla bla

managers listen to your god damn employees.

heh i think at my last job the managers WERE very willing to listen to the employees….but those managers didnt have any power to do anything or change anything. the REALLY big decisions were made by the managers managers. and those people we didnt like.

it has just been a really stupid ridiuclous retarded, stupid, pointless, wasted 10 months and counting. quit your job and try to find a new job. good god. just because a personal relationship went bad. come on.

yeah well that personal relationship was a part of that stupid job too.

so yeah. never get involved with anybody who’s in your office/department. that you have to see every day in other words.

uhhh maybe this was all part of GODS PLAN to show me that that was not the Job Meant for Me, and she was not the woman meant for me hahaha.

i guess GOD meant for us to be Good Friends for a few years…..but he definitely did not intend for us to be anything more. UNFORTUNATELY FOR ME, hahahaha.

uhhh then whyd he give me those feelings for her then. havent I been TESTED enough? I mean all the TESTING has been feeling more like a PUNISHMENT, for a LONG time.

you know whats 90000000000000000000000 times more degen than homosex? the stuff that average women do. because its SO widespread, and people just take it as normal. its NORMAL for people to have secs with people theyve just met. its NORMAL for women to have 10+ number. homos are a tiny part of the population and its not gonna affect us, well except for women who hang out with homos and treat their degeneracy as normal hahaha. every woman has gay male friends. you dont know any gays? just ask your gurlfran, she probably knows several. and sees no problem with them fooking 9000000000 other gay guys. perfectly ok. fisting parties and such.

so what the hell is your gurlfran ok with???!?!?!?!?! if she thinks all that is ok?!?!?!?!

when your GF hangs out with degenerates and says, nope I dont have any problem with this! as long as its consenting adults.

your woman should have a stronger moral compass than that.

hehehe adding to my questionaire for prospective wife.txt file again. now there is a good 10000 word post!

i would say if you are going through a tough time, then become a degenerate MJ smoker for 3 to 6 months. just to build some more distance between you and the tough event. then detox for 3 months and PROBABLY your pain will be less severe. if not, try to get 3 months of SObriety in, then become a degen stoner again for 6 months. and then quit again. by this time you should notice a difference.

yeah at this point its like processing GRIEF that just wont go away. that lingers WAY too long.

but i mean some people just cant be replaced! I never treated people as replaceable! i just wanted her to show me that I was a little less replaceable!

I felt this feeling of replaceability as soon as I starting dating women in 2004 and getting really dumped haaha.

ok doing laundry. also getting dental teeth cleaning today. that could be horrendous. I have not been taking care of teeth.

but yeah cute young gurls should be makign their own youtube channels saying gas the k1kes race war now 1488. leave that to the men. its weird and off putting and a turn off when women do that. just say trump is kewl and I will encourage my friends to vote for him. and that is MORE than good enough.

a cute young gurl could easily influence the vote of her Thirsty Beta Orbiters! I’ll hang out for you if you vote for trump. or hillary. or ANYONE.

but would this really have a big effect on the ultimate results? it would probably be less than 1%.

but 1% is actually pretty big though.

but yeah. she was very irreplaceable for me. i cant jsut go out and get a new one. her being gone leaves a big void. very much like someone dying. you cant replace them, and their loss leaves a void.

so at this point i would start looking at the Grief literature.

well since i dont have any MJ I took a big honking half dose of nyquil. almost out of nyquil hahahaha.

will def get some moar soon. weird how nyquil seems to reach its expiration date so quickly.

I AM (NOT) A DEMISEXUAL

122

what i will miss is the COMFORT i had with her. we both knew, trusted and accepted each other and i was comfortable being myself around her.

i never felt like i was waiting for the other shoe to drop, like i was with women i was “dating.”

i HATED “dating” because it was such a fast, forced, RUSHED. things started off ok, but i was always like, this is gonna end soon. and it always did. they lost interest, flaked out. i thought it was stupid to get physical so soon, but i did so anyway because when was i ever gonna get a cute young gurl again, so im glad i did. but the whole pseudo relationships were so gay and stupid. beginning, middle, and end all within a couple months. you never get to really KNOW the person, you never get comfortable around them, you never TRUST them, and they decide they know you well enough to dump you, lost interest in you?

this is why i prefer becoming friends with women before dating them. and i never had that work, but i know its better than the alternative.

because the alternative SUCKS.

but it takes at LEAST 6 months to a YEAR for me to become full friends with somebody. and by then, most women will have you in the “FRIENDZONE” if you havent FOOKED them within a few WEEKS.

well thats on them. women shouldnt BE fooking men within a few weeks. they shuld be willing to wait a year. thats how i would raise my daughter hehehe.

i think when i first met That Person, i appreciated that she was a good looking young woman and i wouldnt mind banging her.

BUT when i found out we got along really well, i soon began to care much LESS about banging her and much MORE about just getting along with her. plus i didnt really want to bang anyone, i was still stuck on the previous woman who had recently rejected me.

when i get rejected, i dont really want to bang anyone, even attractive women.

last night i struggled to think of attractive women to B34t off to, and i couldn’t. i could think of attractive women sure, but none i wanted to bang more than HER.

thats is, that tears it: I AM A DEMISEXUAL. coming out of the closet.

meaning i cant be super secsually interested in someone unless i have deeper feelings for them, and know them.

how about this. as soon as you meet a female friend you tell them that they are attractive but since you are a heartbroken demisexual, you dont really want to bang anyone right now. you are sexually and emotionally unavailable.

and if you get along really well with your new female friend and want to do something physical….

WHAT THE FOOK IS WRONG WITH JUST CUDDLING AND MAKING OUT???

WHY IS THAT SO WEIRD AND FOOKING IS SO NORMAL?

ONLY IN A THOROUGHYL DEGENERATE SOCIETY IS SOMETHING SO MORALLY ABHORRENT POSSIBLE.

I’m not against cuddling and making out AT ALL. i think you CAN do these within 1 month. just no fooking!

but noooooooo, you start making out with a woman and then during the first makeout she is shoving her tongue in your mouth, grabbing your D, and thinks youre a beta if you dont fook her at the time of the First Makeout!

degenerate! morally abhorrent!

make out (tongueless, that tongue shit is DEGENERATE) and cuddle for a YEAR! THEN have secs!

of course, it seems kinda STUPID to do this with a woman who has ALREADY had S with 90 guys all within 1 week. then honestly they dont DESERVE to be treated with the kid gloves, because they are not innocent as all.

great comment on Woes video:

” Robertus Antoninus 4 hours ago (edited)
+Millennial Woes Keep the young women and use their wombs to carry to term in-vitro fertilized eggs from high quality white women. Now that is eugenics!

In fact, we could make that a stipulation for aid to the third world. The technology exists to cause a population boom in high iq whites. Our only problem would be looking after so many newborns when we take them back.

I sound like Dr Strangelove, lol.  ”

now thats thinking outside of the box!

he’s talking about basically muslim (asian, arab, brown) women carrying white children. white eggs, white sperm, growing to term in a brown uterus.

this definitely CAN be done and you will get a white baby, but i wonder about the bath of Brown Hormones for 9 months hahahaha. I would be willing to experiment with it tho.

i mean you would have to harvest the eggs from the women, then fertilize them, then implant these fertilized eggs into the nonwhites, which would probably cost at least….50000 dollars? per fertilized egg. but well worth it imho hahahaha.

basically, brown women having white babies, because white women are not willing to do so. VERY INTERESTING.

she was very important to me. she was one of my favorite people. the thought of her motivated me and lifted me up and made me stronger and more confident. just the thought of cuddling with her and being With Her and being Soulmates hahahahaha. and now she is gone forever. that is gonna be painful for anyone.

a GOOD breakup is painful enough. a BAD breakup is EVEN MORE painful, it makes you blame yourself and lose all confidence in yourself, you feel worthless, begin to doubt your ability to do anything in life.

also it hurts more to be the dumpee than the dumper because you didnt want it to end, you were willing to work on it.

SO, THEREFORE, QED, to be dumped in a BAD way is super painful.

i shouldnt have to mansplain these Day 1 Basics of Emotional Intelligence. That a Bad Breakup is worse than a Good Breakup. COME ON! am i talking to INFANTS? yes. hahahaha.

but even when she was being mean and awful, just having her in my life gave me some emotional support and strength. and all that is gone now. i like having a person who can play that role. a kind loving woman to be nice to me and spend time with and give some (not ridiculous amount) of emotional support.

so thats all gone.

it hurts when you lose someone important to you. period.

why am i even saying this? all people know this. even women. even her. women arent so emotionally infantile that they dont understand this. she probably knows im hurting. shes just not courageous enough to face it. or she is so disgusted by me daring to like her that she thinks i deserve this. but no one deserves this.

http://demisexuality.org/articles/am-i-demisexual-if/

google am i demisexual

http://demisexuality.org/articles/could-i-be-demisexual/

i dont fooking know it seems autistic. i mean i am comfortable with being generally CIS HETERO, just that i dont have a STRONG secs drive for people i dont know. I mean i can say yeah she’s attractive but i just dont CARE. i dont start CARING about secs until i know the person (WOMAN) and have developed something of a friendship or emotional connection with them.

i think its stupid you have to have sex with somebody RIGHT AWAY. i lose respect for the woman, i dont trust her, i get dumped quickly, and i am rightfully worried about getting dumped quickly, becuase i dont trust the person not to lose interest in me.

yeah i mean i have sexual attraction to lots of attractive women, so i guess im not demisexual.

i just prefer not to have secs unless there is an emotional connection, because i believe secs should not be separated from emotion. what do you call this orientation hahaha? its clearly similar to demi, but not quite.

OK i guess im not demi:

”  Most people on the non-asexual side of the spectrum feel sexual attraction regardless of whether or not they have a close emotional bond with someone. They may have sexual feelings for attractive people on the street, classmates or coworkers they’ve barely spoken to, or celebrities. However, they may choose to wait to have sex for a variety of reasons: it might not be feasible or appropriate, they want to make sure the person is respectful and kind, it’s against their religious beliefs, they only want to have sex in a romantic relationship, etc. The difference is that demisexuals don’t start out with these sexual feelings at all.  ”

Are You Demisexual Test
Results
You have reached 72 of 100 points, (72%)

demisexual quiz

If you got 60 points or above, you are Demisexual.

If you received a score below 60 points, you may like to take our following tests:

Are You Asexual? Test
Sapiosexual Test
Are You Pansexual? Test
Note: It’s normal to receive a score within the 40 – 60 range, as most people aren’t necessarily attracted to other people on a regular basis.

http://lonerwolf.com/demisexual-test/

from this quiz. imho the quiz is not valid and doesnt understand what demisexuals think demi is.

this is the top definition on urban dictionary

“TOP DEFINITION
demisexual
Demisexuals are characterized by a lack of sexual attraction toward any person unless they become deeply emotionally or romantically connected with a specific person or persons. The level of connection it takes for sexual desire to form is dependent on how close the relationship is rather than initial attraction. It is an orientation that is not chosen.

Demisexuality does not refer to the active restraint or repression of sexual desires or actions.

Demi- is a prefix meaning half. This is used to mean halfway between sexual and asexual. The term originated in the asexual community, specifically within the Asexual Visibility and Education Network (AVEN).
Sexual partner: Hey, I think you are sexy. *aroused*
Demisexual partner: I’d have to reach a higher level of emotional intimacy before I could feel the same way. =\
Sexual partner: Oh, I see. Well, we can do something enjoyable together. =/
Demisexual partner: =D We can bake a cake for now!
Sexual partner: Sure! That’s always fun, although we seem to be doing that a lot. =D
Demisexual partner: *squeee! bonding time!*
by chara89 May 11, 2011”

so in other words, true demi is autistic and phaggy becuase how else would the conversation play out like that. and who else would say “SQUEEEEEEEEEEE!!! BONDING TIME!!!” like a real phaggot. and why wouldnt the sexual partner say your weird im out, theres millions of guys who will fook me, im not willing to bake LOTS of cakes with you.

squeeee. what the fook does that mean. sounds like something an anime neet would say.

god damn how is this so hard for you normies to understand. i see attractive women all the time. 21 year old, yound purty women. but i dont CARE about putting in the EFFORT to actually have secs with them.

however if i make friends with a pretty young gurl, get to know her, then get feelings for her, THEN i care a great deal about havin secs with them, and find secs a very emotional physical act hahahaha.

have i ever had secs wihtout emotions?

well usually i start getting positive emotions right after making out with a grill, even if they are a dirty skank hahha.

so i am NOT demi.

I am attracted to people all the time. i just dont CARE tho. because i treat sex with REVERENCE and CHOOSE to save myself for essentially moral reasons.

but if an attractive gurl wanted to have secs with me with no effort on my end……..i definitely would. i just wouldnt TRUST a woman for a long term rel tho, if she has secs early. i dont TRUST women who ALSO dont have reverence for secs, and i think women SHOULD have more reverence for S than men……because S is much more dangerous for women than men.

“Demisexual
A person pretentious enough to refer to themselves as a demisexual; a straight person piggy-backing onto the LGBT movement.
Person 1: OMG I could never come out to my parents that I’m a demisexual. I’m so unique and different from all the people at my school who just want to have sex casually, I’m waiting for love and that’s why I’m queer!

Person 2: My IQ just dropped 20 points listening to you.
by Dr. Bluefish December 28, 2012
1470 upvots   2639 down ”

from urban dictionary, a downvoted definition that i thought was funny.

so if its a pretentious way for a CIS HET NORMIE person to feel like a SPECIAL SNOWFLAKE, that means its fairly NORMAL to Prefer Sex with an Emotional Attachment??? I WOULD HOPE SO!!! in my moral paradise, yes, that WOULD be normal, than a bunch of degenerate r-types having casual sex like RATS!!!!!!

just say i am anti casal sex.

IM NOT A DEMISEXUAL, I JUST DONT LIKE CASUAL SEX. because i think its degenerate.

i have sexual attraction for many, and “romantic attraction” for only a few, ie people i know, and I prefer not to act on sexual attraaction unless there are romantic attraction.

IM NOT A DAMN AUTISTIC DEMISEXUAL SNOWFLAKE SJW. I just like to KNOW, TRUST, LIKE, and have a proper relationship with the people i have secs with.

well, i suppose if i WERE a confident normalfag extravert and it came NATURALLY to me, that i always had OPPORTUNITIES for sex with attractive women, then i guess i would prob partake of that a little bit. but i would prob tire of it and still want a real rel.  and not with the types of women who give themselves up casually.

ok lemme explain it this way. secs with someone you love would be 1000000000000000000000 times better and more meaningful and profound and emotional and positive than secs with someone who you DONT know, even though that may be fun, even though they may be technically more attractive than the person you love.

for example, i saw a gurl at the fatness club who technically was easily more attractive than THAT PERSON: about 20 years old, long blond hair, perfect body, beautiful skin, great shape, long legs, pretty much a perfect 10, amazing that women this beautiful even exist. oh she must be airbrushed or anorexic hahaha. bullshit. she was drop dead gorgeous, no bullshit makeup, no computer trickery, just a young gurl at the Gym, not all slutted up, ALTHOUGH she was waering too tight of clothes for my liking, but this is the norm at the Gym, and its unfortunately. you wonder why guys are staring at you? because you are a perfect 10, in great shape, and it looks like your clothes are PAINTED ON.

anyway i was of courshe “sexually attracted” to this woman, yet i didnt raelly care about having S with her, and would 90000000000000000000000000000000 times more prefer to have Intimate Emotional S with That Person. even if That Person had more physical shortcomings hahahaha.

so in other words, S with someone you love is 9000000000000000000000 times better than S with the Best Looking Random Stranger. even if that random stranger is a 20 year old perfect 10. and your loved person is a 25 year old 7.5 hahahahaha.