HUHWHYTE HUHWHORKERS

wed aug 2

looked up the amount of money i spent during muh unemployment and was horrified and disgusted. i am not a big spender! but somehow i spent a lot of money! essentially blew through a Larger Than Average Emergency Fund!!!!!!!!

heh. the hugest expenses were, by far, car related (aka useless shit tier insurance) and going to see the SHRINK. everything else was DWARFED in comparison to that. even going out to restaurants to play my weekly game was NOTHING in comparison to those two things. also the local grocery store / supermarket was a big thing, but thats not surpirsing.

i made 152 dollars on mturk hehehehe.

yep. car insurance, shrink, and grocery store were biggest expenses because i dont have to pay rent like NORMIES because i am a neet. now, the grocery store should involve a lot of stuff that i am buying for the fam, and or gifts for them. spent more on gifts for them .

cant break down the many categories of stuff i bought at the grocery store, which also includes gas, clothes, food, nonfood.

also its funny that shitty, useless, absolutely cheapest car insurance was the #1 biggest expense. and Budget Shrink once a month was a little below that. my biggest entertainment expense, my weekly, sometimes twice weekly game, didnt even come close. or me buying clothes like a madman. spend 488 dollars on clothing. and that was all this year. well from july to dec 2015 i was pretty much completely dead.

i mean i try to “give money to muh fam” whenever i possibly can by buying them stuff, because they refuse to Charge Me Rent like a Normie fam would, like they SHOULD, because not to is to enable muh neetism, so i fight against that by essentially slipping money into their wallet when they arent looking hahahahaha.

https://mint.lc.intuit.com/questions/1136258-trying-to-change-a-category-not-working

this is exactly the kind of tech support my old company would give, the type of “advice” that woman was great at giving. somebody says the feature is not working. tech support assumes the user is doing it wrong, and gives the the “right” steps. this is exactly what the user IS doing….and it is not working. there CLEARLY is a technical issue that needs to be looked at and acted on by the company. but they sit their silent and just imply that you’re doing it wrong.

spent 369 on muh weekly hobby during muh 17 months of shitty neetness. honestly less than i expected. but oh yeah one place doesnt take credit cards. all this data is coming from muh credit card. i do not use cash anymore for this very reason. analytics. data. reports. trends.

took benedryl because i got the hankering to sm0ke MJ…..but of course i dont have any. might have some in jan 2019 god willing. 2 more years. legal MJ hehehehe. hope to get it on the ballot in 2018, where it would PROBABLY pass, but it possibly could not pass. maybe 60 40 odds hehehehe. of passing.

shit i would even be willing to take a TINY dose of mushrooms. but it has to be TINY. i would rather not feel anything than feel anything. because a bad trip is just not worth it. at all. it will put you into a world of panic, dread, emptiness, despair, fear, hopelessness, death hahahahaha. but good trips can give you the opposite of all that. and that is what i am looking for.

always take less of whatever drug it is. you know who tells you to take MORE? druggie degenerates. OVEN YOURSELF.

i am happy i have totally resisted the urge to type that womans name into google and try to stalk her that way. prob find her linkedin and instagram where she is posting images of her fooking negros hahahahahaha. making spelling errors and poor writing on her linkedin for her Tough Stressful Job where she makes a lot more money than me.

her name getting in the News for being so good at her Career she became an Expert. or maybe doing Activism for one of her Causes. or she went back to school, got highest honors, and is getting a Grad or Law degree.

i mean she doesnt have a unique name so when i searched her before all this shit happened, like in oct 14 to june 15 when i was in luv with her, she wouldnt even be on the first 2 or 3 pages of google. just other people with her same name.

now if you search my name on google, you immediately get my linkedin, my twitter, on the very top of the first page, and i am happy with that. but i really SHOULD have many company and skool awards and blurbs about honors and awards ive won, me and my unique name just got promoted, just spearheaded a 50 million dollar project, etc. got married to a beautiful 22 year old gurl, had a 3rd child, bought a house in a 100% huhwhyte neighborhood, etc, getting respect from respected people, etc.

but yeah. if someone wanted to get in touch with me, they could find my email address REAL easy. SHE could find my email address if she just googled muh name. moron probably couldnt spell it right hahahahahahahahahahahahaha. i am so desperate for her to google me, find the email, and contact me. because she blocked my email and deleted it so she doesn’t know what it is anymore hehehehehe. and she desperately wants to apologize to me and luv me, but she doesnt’ know how to contact me. what bullshit. then she could contact at least 2 people we mutually know. or have someone do that for her. or type my name into google. she OBVIOUSLY doesnt WANT to.

WANT. WILL. WILLINGNESS. are you WILLING to do this. this WILLINGNESS is the most important thing. I dont care if anyone ever UNDERSTANDS me. that’s way too much to ask. i would never expect that. i dont even udnerstand myself. i just want them to luv me hahahaha. thats way better than Understanding. I guess LISTENING is important though. but understanding really isnt. i will never complain about being MISUNDERSTOOD. well, except that she misunderstood my motives. yeah that i care a lot about. not being seen as a niceguy who betrayed her by wiating in the wings, waiting to pounce, ulterior motives etc.

benedryl. makes a man tired hehehehe.

dec 24

heh. xmas eve. benedryl last night. was tired. crashed into bed, slept pretty Well, but past 830 am i could not get back to sleep. even though i still felt tired and groggy and sleepy. still do now at 953 am. sleepy but you cant sleep. so i just am thankful i slept a few hours later than muh New Normal wake up time of 515 am.

i was always anti authority. when i was young i disliked and had no respect for my teachers. well the majority of them. some of them i liked. but i never thought, wow, i LUV this teacher, I want to be a teacher when I Grow Up. I said, this is a sucky profession, it attracts mean nasty people, those who cant do teach hahahaha, and those who cant teach teach at my school hahaha. (and the corrolary of this really pretty offensive maxim is, those who DO, cant teach!)

so why bother trying to teach or learn anything. just sm0ke weed all day and jerk off, try to bang sluts.

in high school i had a better understanding and more respect for teachers or teaching. but i knew the teachers in my private skool made way less money than the rich, lazy, spoiled, entitled public skool teachers, who also didnt give any homework and made skool fun and easy for their students, and 16 yo old gurls were throwing themselves at you in these public schools.

but my teachers were men of principle! who would then be a bit autistic, weird, or mean. maybe they were just butthurt they couldnt get a sweet public skool job.

and of course now i understand that public skool teachers dont really do that well, and you either do SUB jobs till you’re 30 years old, or get a job in the absolute worst, blackest, ghettoest district, and those Plum Teacher Jobs are simply going extinct because, big surprise, they cost the schools too much money. fookin boomers hahahahaha. way to kill the golden goose. fookin joos hahahaha. like the scorpion and the frog.

anyway now i appreciate what teachers do. will stand up for teachers against the teacher-haters, which i used to be. while being even more certain that i would never want this thankless, super stressful job.

old school boomer working class HATE teachers because they only work 6 months out of the year, only work 6 hours a day hahahaha, and see it as the easiest job ever.

but basically when i was IN high school and especially grade school, i wish i had more respect for the teachers heheheheh.

still i dont think thats what screwed me up though. maybe it was just my general disrespect for authority. i didnt’ think anyone knew what they were talking about. i know just as well as they do. well no i sure as fook didnt! well what do THEY know, they’re just underpaid losers at this private skool who couldnt get a sweet public school job! their wife left them and their kids hate them!

also i was butthurt that i “had to” go to a private skool with no gurls. cuz i was absolutely OBSESSED with secs and gurls, even more than i am now. truth is, if i had gone to one of those fantasy public school paradises, i probably would have been bullied by the boys AND rejected by the girls, for being an omega male hehehehe.

then i went to college and the “teachers” here were wildly successful. they were professors at a famous university. of course they were respected, their wives didnt leave them. there were shitloads of beautiful 18-21 year old gurls. and i didnt know how to deal with them. i was frozen in fear and couldnt bring myself to talk to them.

yep 33 inch pants would be just perfect. this means i must continue to lose weight until 32 inch pants would be just perfect.

i guess Dr Phil would be a celebrity, well know, famous version of the type of profession i could see myself doing. helping people with their emotional, relship, family, behavior problems.

who are other famous shrinks? dr keith ablow I hear is pretty good. i hear Dr Laura is pretty good although a J.

i guess tel aviv is the party city of israhell. beaches and clubs and all that. 20 year old israeli gurls in tiny bathing suits. who have absolutely no respect for secs as the life creating act. just want to have fun fun fun. and i absolutely would never want to have babies with them hahahaha. shit yeah i would race mix with them. basically any light skinned 20 year old gurl i would race mix with.  would never make babies with.

maybe i want to be like roosh, traveling the world and banging 20 year old sluts. it really doesnt sound bad. i mean i wish more of these white sluts turned him down. all of them. i dont want white women to be sluts and ESPECIALLY not race mixing sluts going for swarthy persians.

i apologize to intuit tech support because i wrote a kinda nasty comment to them on their shitty tech support article where it appeared there was a bug in the program, then right after i read the shitty article and left the nasty comment that prob wont get read anyway, the program started working again. but i swear i was doing it right! what the hell was i doing wrong? it wasnt a complicated process, it was jsut trying to change the category of a transaction. from what it is defaulted to, to something of my choosing. important necessary feature sure.

well i never attack level 1, i basically attack level 2 and above. for letting shitty service continue. for treating customers like idiots. passing the buck and giving me the runaround. i want a level 2 person to tell me WHEN this is going to be fixed. if its a month or 6 months, FINE. just let me know that poeple who CAN fix it are AWARE of it and PLAN on fixing it. dont just give me a patronizing poorly written response telling me what ive ALREADY DONE. do you really think I’m THAT STUPID. again, I know this isnt the level1 person’s fault. really they should just do away with level 1 and make level2 the new level1. essentially meaning, give the level1s about 100 times more training so they dont always seem so damn inexperienced. but yeah thats a thankless job. even worse than teaching hahahaha. its like teaching something you dont even KNOW. forget knowing how to DO. its teaching shit youve never HEARD OF before.

there were people in uni who took about the same ballpark of MJ as i did, and they turned out fine, ie, 6 gorillion times more successful than me, wife, kids, etc. probably the alcohol did more damage than the MJ. but the MJ did do damage too. because i would rather sm0ke MJ than attack my schoolwork aggressively. i wasnt so much shirking muh skoolwork to DRINK. but i did binge drink a lot on occasion. i honestly do think i did more stupid destructive shit because of MJ though. yeah. actually the MJ i think did more damage than the alcohol. at THAT time. but AFTER uni, the alcohol def did more damage than the MJ. now i dont drink any more and I Romanticize MJ and put it on a pedastal like it was a perfect waifu.

even though its obviously NOT! it makes me paranoid and anxious and panicky and nervous and awkward and lazy and neurotic and jooish and weak!

ive never had a royal straight flush or a nonroyal straight flush but i have had quads quite a few times. is that normal?

got ghoul surf the kali yuga shirt in mail on dec 24. i did not “need” it by xmas and I would rather the poor USPS slaves not slave on xmas eve, xmas day, or saturdays, or sunday amazon deliveries. or midnight shifts at the PO. or split shifts. or PSEs or casuals. i would pay more in shipping for those things.

i should join heimbachs traditionalist workers party because by god am i SERIOUS about Workers Rights, but also by god am I SERIOUSLY against all the leftist marxist jooish revolutionary commie SHIT The Labor Movement supports. I mean they are the leftest of the left and that’s very disappointing. it should not be that way. and maybe A True Populist Movement can give a better way than that.  right wing, traditionalist, JQ Aware, Huhwhyte Huhwhorkers.

all time, i have given 155 dollars to alt right causes. this includes tshirts which should PROBABLY be split because the entire cost of the tshirt does not go to the alt right guy, not even half, it goes to the jooish tshirt company. well, at least the company that does TRS’s tshirts is not jooish at all, and I wrote them a note with my order complimenting them for this.

anyway the size L ghoul shirt fits fine. i was worried about moving down from an XL tshirt to an L. DONT BE. just dont gain the god damn weight back.

hmm bitcoin peaking at like 890 dollars. quickly gonna sell 20 usd worth. buy low, sell high. and it is high. peaked and starting to come down. ok sold 25 USD. makin monay hahahaha.

going into mint and categorizing and recategorizing a bunch of shit.

http://www.tradworker.org/platform/

pretty good outlining of a political and MORAL platform hehehehe. dont know if heimbach is still involved here. welp there is nothing on the site for dnating.

 

 

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NEVER TRUST NONNEVERGF NORMIES

nov 1

sheeeeeeeeeeit rejected for the part time city job, 15 an hour, was hopign for this as a kind of baby steps, training wheels, safety net. they had THREE positions open so i thought i had a chance. sent thank you emails to the three people on interview panel. (representing the three departments/positions.) got rejection email today. spent 14 minutes on application, 90 minutes in first test, 30 minutes on second test, 40 minutes on interview, and rejected. damn.

well, they either have promised the jobs to family members, and or they are looking for an older married woman who is looking for part time job AND NOT full time job. because i made a statement like, “a full time position is my #1 priority.” basically saying to them its not my first choice that this job is part time. and you want a candidate who makes you a #1 Priority not an option!

i dunno, i’ll never know.

but yeah thats disappointing. believe me a part time baby steps job would be a BIG DEAL and possible LIFE CHANGER, just for showing that I can HANDLE some kind of Employment without completely losing my mind and running away panicquitting!

its kinda hard convincing someone “its company policy, you cant do that” if the company policy isnt WRITTEN DOWN anywhere, AND there is no good faith attempt at an explanation. you figure there is always some wizard in the back room with 2 years of experience (hehehehe) who knows the Secret Way Around Things. but you have just as much access to this Guru Ninja, as Joe Flabeetz off the Streetz!!!!!!

i was thinking of a stupid case just today, and i should make a GOod Story out of it while its fresh in my mind.

caller is moving to another company location 1 mile away. caller wants to move his client list from location 1 to location 2. he figures thats reasonable. calls, gets me, asks me to do that for him / get that process started. i say ok let me put you on hold for a few minutes while i figure this out. cant find any good articles. ask the people around me because i dont want to get Dinged for going into the Official Advice Chat, because that shows you arent trying hard enough to figure it out on your own, and just want your Hand Held. people around me say you cant do that, cant be done, and continue focusing on their own cases. Really, I say? why not? what should I tell this guy? just tell him it can’t be done. company policy. yeah but why? and couldn’t there possibly be a way to just copy the files manually to a flash drive, then load them into the other office? i mean these are all just FILES, right? why can’t you move a file from one computer to another? I mean yeah I know all the files look like WKDNSUH193734940.ngr and are in 1488 different locations, but…..isnt that what we have tier 2 and 3 for? this has got to be an escalated case right? people around me sigh and say, well, youre getting way too deep, plus theyre gonna say no anyway, that would take way too much time, but if you want to ask for escalation, go ahead, theyre just gonna say no, nothing we can do. and im like WRONG, there IS stuff we can do, but just be straight with me and my caller that it would take to much time and money, I can understand that, he can understand that.

i guess the reason you cant move a client list is so that people can’t “steal” their client information when they leave the company, and use that to start their own business or something.

yeah but this guys not leaving the company! he’s just moving to a different office! a fairly common thing!!!!

so i still dont understand. but for the purposes of my Story that i’m gonna tell the interviewer, i have to make it look like i made sense out of all this.

i think i just said, yeah i checked, this cant be done, i guess its security policy so people can’t easily leave the company with their client lists, sorry, i tried. and he was like ok fine i guess. thats our company for you, always getting in the way with stupid policies.

maybe im asking too much with a minimum of 12 dollars an hour. maybe i should drop it down to 10 dollars an hour. i see more 10 dollar an hour job openings than 12 dollars an hour.

maybe in another year of joblessness hahahahahaha.

anyway a good answer for that guy would be, welp, it would be FASTER and CHEAPER for you to sit there in the first office, print out 2000 pages of paper for all the clients files, and then bring the boxes of printouts to the new office, and manually reenter them into that computer, than it would be to transfer the files from one office to another.

but youre kidding me. i mean i get the security thing if the employee is permanently leaving. but employees transfer offices ALL THE TIME. YOURE TELLING ME that for the 100 employees that are transferred to a different office EVERY DAY, theres NO WAY for them to have access to their old files from the new office? that doesnt even make sense how that would be a policy!

i understand completely. if you’d like to dispute the policy, the best person to speak to is the office manager.

I AM THE OFFICE MANAGER!

I mean, speak to YOUR manager, the district manager.

HE SAID TO CALL YOU!!!!

And I’m saying to call him and say that we can’t fix this. I’m not sure he can fix this, but he sure has a better chance at having more power than me.

well why cant you just trasnfer me to YOUR manager? certainly they have more power than you?

yeah they have too many cases and they dont think this case is worthwhile. sorry.

I want to hear this from them.

OK I’ll request a callback, but can’t give you a time other than to say it will be within the next 72 hours. And I can’t give you the person’s name. it could be any of 20 people.

you have 20 managers?

no, see, the managers don’t know anything. they only know how to MANAGE, and they dont do that very well. I’m having a level 2 person call you. they’re like level 1 people who have been around for 3 years and actually know stuff and can explain stuff. sorta.

i cant make this up folks. i worried that my fam would think i was weird or homosexual because i never talked to gurls, never had a GF, never had female friends, come on fam im 23, 25 years old, dont you think this is WEIRD? dont you worry im a weird pedophile? then i got to 30 with no GF, no female friends, and it was a lot easier hahahaha. it was like yep thats just the way he is. terrible with the ladies. but they never SAID i was weird or that they were disappointed. i thought it was weird that they didnt THINK it was weird, cuz i sure thought it was weird!

shit. might as well listen to that new deathspell omega album. not even excited. not sure i could get excited about a metal album ever again. new darkthrone album was kinda disappointing. what if boortzum made a new metal album? it would prob be disappointing like his last metal album. ok then what about muh boy mikko makes a new album? well see i didnt even really get into his new vapaudenristi album. i would prob get excited about a new stabat mater album hahahahahaha. we are abotu due for one of those.  uhhhh metal. big metal fan. yep.

mgla? yeah thats probably the most excited id get about a new metal album.

nonmetal album? i dunno. leonard cohen comes out with new albums and i dont even care, tom waits could prob come out with a new album and i wouldnt care, cuz i was underwhelmed by his last album like 5 years ago hahahaha. cmon tom.

tom waits net worth is 25 million hahahahaha.

heh. rej email for a 32k job. well, thats way more than 26k hahahaha. but ok well this is the county. i have been interviewed by the county for a….33k job and a 40k job. really would have liked that 40k job. but i get rejected for all the 26k, 28k jobs i apply for with the county. you gotta go to harvard or mit to get a 26k job with the county apparently hahahahaha.

OR JUST NOT HAVE A 15 MONTH GAP hahahahaha is much more like it!

if i ever got a gf i could see it being like this hahahahaha. but at least he cares about dumping her in a good way rather than just Ghosting and Blocking her hahahahaha.

yeah thats the hard thing when things END right in the middle of Your Honeymoon Period, is that it takes much longer to get over, becuase youre always thinking WHAT IF, WHAT IF, WHAT IF. you never got bored with them, you never got in a rut, you never thought maybe the grass is greener, they were always your perfect angel, never though, welp im bored with this person, they dont CHALLENGE me to be a BETTER PERSON, hahahahaha hahahaha.  or whatever bullshit hahahaha.

well honestly when you are in true honeymoon period, you DO feel like you want to be a better person because of them, the cliche is true!

i guess…..well you know you get that feeling of please just escalate this case, i dont know what im doing, this is above my paygrade, i dont know how to explain this, i just want another person to look at this and at least give them a better reason…..but youre not getting approval to escalate, and you sound like an idiot. in hindsight, the best thing to do would be, plan on staying an extra hour just to work on their case, and be like, i’ll call you back at 630 pm. thats the best i can do. because noone else is willing or able to look at this. and i need like an hour to figure it out. but i dont have an hour because we have calls in queue and i’m already over 20 minutes with your call. so im gonna sacrifice my family time so i can do work for free, for you. so you better tell my manager i deserve a promotion. not some diversity person from outside of the company.

listened to the new DsO. sounded just like the old DsO hahahahahaha. jangly and angular and chaotic and noisy and confusing. it sounds like what my mind felt like trying to do my old job. jumbled and confused and making no sense. anyway nothing new in DsO’s bag of tricks. total emperor has no clothes. they cannot get away with this any longer hahahahaha. just an exercise in wankery. yeah i kinda like crazy blast beats behind semi-clean guitars, yeah i like mikko, yeah they have their own STYLE of weird nonsense music, so you could tell them apart from other “math rock” or “technical” groups………but I guess Im just not super into the technical stuff.

i mean honestly. WHAT ARE YOUR MUSICAL INFLUENCES. thats what i would ask him. probably a lot of jazz hahaha. ornette coleman hahaha.

it sounds just like all their other albums, a pile of noise hahahahahahahahaha. smoke and mirrors. if he was actually down to earth enough to give an interview, people would say, yeah you know youre not as good as you think you are, ya underachieving autist hahahahahaha.  go make some more money at your normiejob and go cuddle with your tradwife hahahaha.

enjoy your beautiful part of france where there are beautiful mountains and forests and small towns and white people and no browns like in godforsaken paris. or calais hahahaha.

fooking k1ke bastards. cant even hire me for a part time job. was it because they can TELL im not a NORMIE? just like WOMEN can tell hahahah.

no thats not true, even THAT WOMAN didnt realize how much of a nonnormie i was! and she didnt Block me because she realized exactly HOW fooked up i was, she just blocked me because she was a coward. for all she knows, im a total normie who dates wimmin hahaha.  i mean this reflects worse on her than it does on me.

https://www.google.com/webhp?sourceid=chrome-instant&rlz=1C1NHXL_enUS687US687&ion=1&espv=2&ie=UTF-8#q=what%20to%20say%20in%20any%20situation

namely, any DIFFICULT/TUFF situation hahahahaha.

http://www.socialanxietysupport.com/forum/f21/anyone-else-have-a-job-but-no-life-339841/index5.html

heh i should put SAS in the sidebar o links, decent forum. bunch sad sacks with no friends, no gf, some have jobs, some dont.

how did they GET these jobs?

yeah its muh GAP which is hurting me more than my lack of Interviewing Charisma. I actually have prob around average interview skills. better than that woman hahahahahahahahahaha who i still think about and compare myself to even though she has been out of my life forever for 16 months and is never coming back.

yeah the whole reason i LUV MJ now is because i used WAY TOO MUCH of it in my youth, age 25 and earlier. big mistake. never should have. but ive screwed the pooch now. because i ruined myself when i was young, i will pretty much always be addicted to w33d hahahaha. in that i am ALWAYS thinking about it, EVERY DAY, even when I only have it once every 200 days, im thinking about it all the other 199 days.  yes it sucks but DEAL WITH IT.

and the best way to do that, is just get a job any job ASAP,  find a MJ Hookup ASAP, and make a Big Buy ASAP. like $100 at least. buy a BIG bag of MJ.

get on disability because i have too much anxiety to work a job like a normie, then spend money on MJ hahaha.

those fookin phaggots rejecting me for the part time job when there were THREE openings. god damn. 3 openings and less than 30 people in the running. how the HELL was i not in the top 20%? where DID I rank? HOW close was I to getting the job? and what if i WASNT EVEN CLOSE?

again they probably wanted somebody who was perfectly happy with part time job, rather than someone who admitted yeah my goal is to get a full time job. probably hired a retired 65 year old person who just wanted something to DO to keep from getting BORED with retirement hahahahaha. fookin baby boomers.

rather than 50 year old people who are FORCED into early retirement and have to eat dogfood and live in section 8 housing with negros hahahahaha. elderly white people living in the black ghetto, eating dogfood. which is also black slang for heron.

ANYWAY. so i will crap on deathspell omega because……they are FRUSTRATING. basically they intentionally gave up catchy riffs in favor of super uncatchy “riffs” and its like they did this on purpose, they are purposely frustrating, and i liked that when i was 16 but now that i am over twice that age, im like, i want to listen to music to ENJOY it, not to work hard and struggle to overcome challenges and confusion. i have a hard enough time doing that in my daily life. just give me good songs. and i know they are capable of that! my favorite DSO songs are their slower more melodic ones!!!! “carnal malefactor” eg. beautiful song. write more songs like that. or the first song on “drought” was slow and melodic and establishes a very nice dark ominous atmosphere, before they tear it all down with their nonsense riffs…..and the nonsense riffs on “paracletus” actually seemed to work most of the time.

im getting too old for this shit hahahahahaha.

yeah but they are even older than ME! they are close to 40!

probably MJ would make it more enjoyable. i wonder if “hasjarl” does MJ. PROBABLY. knowing that would take a lot of the MYSTIQUE out. like this article on insvisible oranges implies: it seems RIDICULOUS to think of a member of DSO doing mundane things like going to walmart or tuning the guitar or having a goofy moment in the studio. to that i would add just about anything: hanging out with their waifu, taking a dump, going to work, trying to explain shit to angry customers, visiting their family. but they do all these things just like normal people, and yeah maybe i CAN imagine these things all too well, and so i think, no need to TRY so hard buddy. I KNOW youre just a damn normie! i bet he just gets super stoned and is like oh heres another wanky riff in 88/14 time that normie squares who haven’t taken jazz band 101 wont understand hehehehe. hue hue hue hue. yeah well youre a normie too buddy.

mikko aspa might not be a normie tho hahahaha.

this guy has actually gotten to the point of casual secs and can conclusively say that he is not impressed and he wants moar, but he just cant get to the second date. i mean if they FOOK on the first date, its a safe assumption theyre SOMEWHAT interested in you.  but noooooo they cant even fook you a second time!

i mean when a gurl FOOKS, how do you know whether she wants it ONLY ONCE, or more than once?

these stupid, stupid bitches. hahahaha. you think if he turned down the secs on the first date, then the women are gonna change their mind and want to go out with him for a second date?

WOMEN WHO FOOK ON THE FIRST DATE ARE NOT THE TYPE OF WOMEN YOU WANT TO HAVE A SECOND DATE WITH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

but nobody understands this anymore. there is not enough SLUT SHAMING!!!!!

treat people like actual people, human beings with feelings and hearts! thats how i treat women in real life! i talk a LOT of shit about women in general on teh internet, but in real life, with real women, I DO NO HARM!!!!!!!!!!

nov 2

yeah i was/am kinda pissed about getting rejected for the pt 15 an hour job with THREE openings. couldnt even get ONE of em. couldnt even get the WORST one.

interview tomorrow for goddamn ELEVEN dollar PT job, which is normally too low to consider for me, but i like the company, its close, i worked there before, i would luv to get FT job there, and ive had THREE interviews with them for pt 11 dollar jobs, all rejected, and the 4th tomorrow. (4 separate jobs.)

would LOVE to get call this week from the 2 other companies i int at last week. would def be disappointed af to get rej emails from them. not really PISSED, but definitely disappointed and weakened confidence. it cant get much lower folks hahahaha.

trump does not view women as full human beings, says hitlery hahahahaha. i thought, well, neither do I, but I would never want to personally do them harm. AND I view them as about 80% human beings, thats pretty good right?

still doesnt mean i would TREAT them as 80% humans, i wouldnt treat them like they have treated me hahahaha. they have treated ME like less than 80% human!!!!!!!!

anyway who cares. my new thing with interviews is, just memorize 10 stories in great detail.

let the STORIES be your guide.

i didnt know what i was doing, i couldnt explain the bad news to the caller because i didnt understand, i didnt udnetstand enough to ask the right questions to muh superiors, i got flustered. so i went home and studied the stuff until i did understand it. then the next day i called the caller again and gave them a better explanation.

even though most times just studying will nto give you the EXPLANATION you want. you still have to deduce the explanation for yourself out of the most unclear material. or speculate a reason or rationale or explanation why you Cant Do This, because nothing is given in a written company policy.

its usually safe to assume Money Is The Reason. saving money. and then you have to come up with a tactful way to explain that to the customer, we cant help you because it costs too much money.

i was watching this retarded show “taboo” which is semi entertaining, and then they did a show about “the limits of female beauty” or something and had a bit on The Most Anorexic Woman in the World, a french woman who LITERALLY looked like A Skeleton. I mean her actual FACE as well as her body was Emaciated AF and she looked like the Sloth Guy in the move Seven. looking at that face as haunting and horrifying. i said NOPE NOT GONNA WATCH THIS and i felt dirty being complicit in this very jooish exploitation.

id actually seen the episode before a few years ago. i recall they said this woman DIED shortly after the episode was completed. she was like 30 years old and LITERALLY at deaths door as they were filming, she was that bad, and she LOOKED that bad. it was HORRIFYING.

i know i was disturbed when i watched in the first time and when they showed her this time, i was super disturbed and just turned the show off. how jooish can you get.

 

sheeeeeit thats that type of stuff i worry about, now this poor sap is living it! guarantee this will be [removed] quickly hahahaha like most of the sweet reddits i post.

what if that woman did something like that? it wouldnt matter because she has been Ripped Out of my life for the past 16 months. 480 days hahahaha. who cares. doesnt matter. its all over. get over it.

so yeah my work stories suck because basically it was me getting flustered and saying uhh yeah i guess we cant do this, sorry, just deal with it, anything else i can help you with? so again, i have to SPIN those stories to show that I did Follow Up research to understand shit, and did callbacks to Clarify shit, in a world where NOTHING WAS CLEAR. half the time documentation didnt even EXIST. and the documentation that DID exist was WRONG, out of date, and or confusing/UNCLEAR AF.

and the people you can ask for help are often as unhelpful and unclear as the unclear shit you are asking for clarification on, so you learn to try to Figure It Out yourself.

anyway. ive sort of met the guy i will be talking to tomorrow. he used to walk through my department and i would give him a friendly greeting whenever i saw him. he seemed nice enough that he is actually the type who says hello to people, and i am the same way. yes thats right. im not this huge hateful asshole in real life. i am a scared coward who is so DESPERATE for peoples APPROVAL that i am super NICE to people all the time, like a total NICE GUY, the worst KIND of creep!!!!! hahahahahaha.

ok everybody wants approval. why cant we just call this golden rule. treat everyone the way you want to be treated. that is an even more valid explanation of me being nice to everybody. besides i dont stalk women like a nice guy. i send them a couple emails and let them throw me away with onyl minimal complaining.

i TALK like a huge abuser, but i have never ever ever abused a woman. but of course i worry that i would, because i TALK like an abuser when there are no women around. so its hard to tell. what is real and what is the mask?

i like to think im not REALLY an abuser. i have just been so disappointed by women that its very hard for me not to speak negatively of them. but alot of my stuff is legit criticism.

https://www.google.com/webhp?sourceid=chrome-instant&rlz=1C1NHXL_enUS687US687&ion=1&espv=2&ie=UTF-8#q=how%20do%20you%20convince%20people%20youre%20not%20an%20idiot

drop quotes by neil “magic black science man” tyson. maybe steven hawking. done.

http://archive.is/iSmnZ

stupid kyke hahahahaha why did i even trigger myself hahaha

http://introvertspring.com/introvert-may-slow-im-stupid/

yeah dont even tell the interviewer you are slightly introverted even as a way just to describe your personality is not super duper extraverted……..BECAUSE INTROVERTED IS A BAD WORD AND A BAD THING. Just say you are perfectly normal, a friendly polite person, and not necessarily the life of the party. Im just here to do a good job, not socialize. never let the word INTROVERT exit your lips. ANATHEMA.

i mean i havent done that recently, but i know i did at some point, maybe to explain why i prefer a Back Office Position over a Front Office Position.

they always say, ask her out on a DATE, BUT, problem is, youve been HANGING OUT a bit doing things that COULD be construed as datelike, where they only thing that changes is the word…..hey wanna go to dinner again…..but this time its a DATE???!?!?!?!?!?!?!??!?!?!

yeah ok fine. if this is what you have to do, i’ll accept that. i would just rather say “i am starting to get changing feelings for you and might want to DATE you” would be just as good.

anyway. MW is now in the US. and uploading vidyas regularly. hope he keeps doing that. if the “dangerous haggis tour” stops near me i would like to see him. this is exciting. i am excited for him. he is pretty excited. hopefully he hangs out with plenty of hardcore WN’s hahahaha. his first stop was staying with antidem in san f4gcisco. all i know about antidem is that he is a joo and was banned from TRS for that. hes probably one of the good ones, but…….not a great start. just go stay with greg johnson hahaha. well i know “grindr greggie” also stays near NYC as well. anyway i am SURE they will meet up. and i hope MW records as much of his visit as possible. record everything. documentary. its just fun. i am happy for him. he is a great guy. hope he doesnt bang that woman hahaha. because that woman might have gotten into alt right stuff since i stopped talking to her. hahahahaha. yeah right.

but young women will do weird celebrity worship shit tho. for example, say youre obsessed with the band sublime, so you Chat with the dead singers mother or something. what if That Woman got all into alt right, then skyped with MW for months, and said, if you ever come to the US you can stay with me…….and fook me every way imaginable! no man could turn that down!

when a purty 7/10 25 year old gurl is giving you attention, smiling at you, interested in you, wants to see you…….that is a BIG boost to the confidence!

you might think, well she’s not the sharpest knife in the drawer…..but she doesnt NEED to be! she just needs to be nice and friendly and interested!

so yeah. she could def fook MW if she wanted. she could fook ANY man she wanted. ANY woman can fook ANY man they want ehehehehe. well…..she prob couldnt fook the donald. but an E-list internet “celebrity”? absolutely.

ok ok thats enough on that person.

but we just had a REAL relship! FACT! and it was important to me! FACT! and my feelings are valid! FACT! i am entitled to be upset when i lose a Real Rel that was very important to me! FACT!

trust the process hahaha.

basically, any way you look at it, it was a REAL RELATIONSHIP, and I can’t say that about many women. maybe 2 other women, both just friends, but decent real friends. the women i pseudodated, those were just brief pseudorels, CASUAL rels, i didn’t really know them, these were NOT REAL RELS, so ultimately its prob easier to get over something THAT NEVER REALLY EXISTED.

this shit really existed though. objectively. there is ironclad EVIDENCE that would hold up in court.

so yeah. you can ghost on a casual “rel”, but when you ghost on a REAL rel…….IT HURTS.

the end.

heard about retired guy, had great 30+ year career with DoD, prob insane pension, good man, he’s done well, good white family, good white man. gets PT job in retirement to just get out of the house. scheduled like 4 hours a day. shift starts at 830 am, but he’s gotta start working at 745 am to finish the shit he has to finish by 11:30 am or whatever. i HATE this shit. doing 45 minutes of unpaid work, on a THREE HOUR shift. so you are giving them 33% PERCENT MORE, for FREE. that is like working OVER TWO HOURS FOR FREE on a regular 8-hour day.

30 minutes extra, ok fine. an hour, that’s pushing it. and i am talking about a full 8 hour day.

i HATE when you have to work off the clock just to finish the shit you HAVE to finish by the end of your shift. thats so fooking GAY and JOOISH and I BET that that shit happens a LOT more now than it did 20 years ago.

and like i said before, you cant even brag that you are GREAT about doing this, as a way to demonstrate your value, because you shouldnt even be doing this. no. just say you do the work in 8 hours what average people do in 10. and then actually stay 10 hours to do 10 hours of work. but clock out after 8. fooking skypes. hehehehe.

PURGE THE BERGS AND STEINS!!!!!!!!!!1

had weird dream last night where i was with Woman2005B aka woman4. She was a weird pale white awkward nerdy virgin, very innocent. but also kinda bitchy and unpleasant. i felt woman2015 That Woman was innocent and sweet like her, but an improvement because That Woman was MUCH nicer to me. haha.

anyway in the dream she was smuggling heroin or something like that, and then i was smuggling HER with the heroin. and i was worried about getting her K’d, because people were looking for her and her drugs. I stood to profit from the whole deal too. i had fee fees for her and she was being bitchy and difficult. on the whole the dream was pretty scary with threats of death and violence. pretty sure i got separated from her. i think there was the idea she had gotten captured and was being raept and tortured. and i felt classic survivors guilt, like i sold her out so i could survive.

anyway not a pleasant dream at all. i had to force myself to wake up, and i was glad i did, because it was getting pretty bad. then i turned over on my other side and stayed awake for a few mins, then went back to sleep, no more dream.

andrew anglin is on the TRS forum now!!!!! oooo how exciting.

i guess my ideal career would be a Social Worker or a Counselor helping Neet men and virgin men, with neetism, despair, anxiety, rels, women, careers, becoming a normie.

but social workers dont DO That kind of work. they do work with people who are WAY more fooked up, like people who get abused, addicts, borderline, sociopaths, abusers, violent, drunks, poor blacks, felons, etc. people who are REALLY on the fringes of society, yet manage to reproduce, and ruin their children with their fooked up ness.

oh yeah. that woman in 2005, she was bitchy largely because I was a bitch and totally approached her the wrong way. namely by being a sloppy drunken fool who was clearly in luv at first sight with her. and i couldnt just be like hey wanna hang out like a normal person. i already hung out with mutual friends. if i had tried just talking to her directly one on one, i wouldnt have made such a damn fool of myself. when i am in a group, its harder for me to connect with the people individually……even if there is not as much pressure on me to “perform” and “be interesting.”

but yeah no one likes a drunk weirdo throwing themselves at you, im in luvvvvvvvvvvvvvv with youuuuuuu pleaseeeeeeeeee marry me.  just SO desperate.

and see i thought she was the perfect solution to woman2005A, who had dumped me shortly before, and i was heartbroken and hated her. but I found this GREAT woman shortly after! i guess that must be what a “rebound” is like………if i managed to date 2005B, which i didnt. so i was on the rebound, and got rejected by the rebound, hahahaha. downward spiral. shit i think the rebound girl would have been GREAT, she was better and qter than 2005A. if i had successfully “rebounded” with 2005B, that WOULD have probably fixed everything hahaha.

http://workplace.stackexchange.com/questions/54138/how-to-tell-a-client-a-reported-bug-is-not-actually-a-bug-but-something-they

i should read this moar

http://workplace.stackexchange.com/questions/23737/how-can-i-manage-an-in-person-job-interview-when-i-have-social-anxiety?rq=1

fookin successful normies hahaha nonnevergfs

http://workplace.stackexchange.com/questions/55541/how-can-i-handle-a-co-worker-who-is-infatuated-with-me-but-denies-it?rq=1

aaannnnndddd heres the woman shitting everything up again. womaning up the workplace with her drama about all these creepy niceguys at work being infatuated with her and making her uncomfortable. women in the workplace is such a giant horrible clusterfook. woman in a male dominated field. FOOK YOU. get out of the male field hahahaha. believe me, they dont like YOU either. could actually get some work done without bitches in the office starting drama hahahahaha.

http://www.informit.com/articles/article.aspx?p=2133369

good thoughts here…..but how about some stories, examples, scripts.

i am JEALOUS of her that she has better skills at ADULTING than I do. can handle all those angry customers, tell them no, this cant be fixed, no, you cant talk to the manager, i am the manager now, i make 17 dollars an hour. explaining shit, or being like, no i dont need to explain this, it doesnt matter. just being able to work an adult job and live a mature adult life. so did she handle ME like a mature adult, because i was legit being that bad?

its never gonna be fun for anyone, answering those calls. youre ALWAYS gonna be nervous and stressed. but you just Face The Fear and Do It Anyway. and i jealous she has that skill. that she succeeded exactly where I failed ABYSMALLY.

well i have yet another chance to Face The Fear when going in for my interview tomorrow. another baby step. the 27th baby step.

but the thing is, heres the thing.wav, is that you have to be PERFECT in these things. whether its getting a JOB, or getting a WOMAN. ONE strike and youre GONE. there is PROBABLY more leeway once you actually GET the job (but not with the woman, with the woman, its always walking on eggshells, minefield, until you make that first, last, only mistake.)

like my job was HARD AS FOOK, but there was some leeway in there. ways to cut corners. I found out how to cut corners, how to evade calls, how to tack on a few minutes here and there, taking long lunches, long breaks, figuring out what i could get away with, how to play the game.

but yeah GETTING into the job is so hard!

well, getting into THAT job was SO easy.

but yeah it IS discouraging to get rejected again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again. and i AM pissed that they couldnt hire me for at least one out of THREE part time jobs at the city. that really irks me. one job i can understand. THREE is just insult to injury. REALLY? I wasnt one of the top THREE?

but yeah its gotten me worried about the OTHER two jobs from last week. I would be ECSTATIC, LIFE CHANGER to get any of those two.

and yeah it sucks that WOMEN can handle “adulting” as the women on reddit call it (really gotta stop reading that shit), but it sucks even more than SHE can handle it. i mean yeah she is pretty much my nemesis hahahaha. it just KILLS me how she can totally succeed where I have failed and throw me away like nothing.

ADD INSULT TO INSULT TO INJURY. that’s like TWO insults on top of injury. BROOTAL. SAVAGE.wav.

ARE THERE ANY WOMEN WHO DONT LIKE CASUAL SEX?!?!?!?!

oct 29

went to store. wanted to find cheapest face wash soap. have very oily face and starting to think that washing it with dial hand soap is just too harsh and may cause it to become more irritated, more oily, just beating the shit out of it. so i found “dial acne face wash” with salicylic acid. give it a try. i do not get terrible acne, but would get occasional small pimples just because the skin was so damn oily. now i dont have a problem with that per se, i know oily skin ages fairly well, so i will have decent looking skin when i am an old senior.

dial acne face wash for like 3.50, 7.5 oz bottle. pretty happy about this one folks.

really prob the best thing i could do is just wash/rinse with plain water, no soap on the face ever. period. and i might indeed go down that road when this bottle of face wash is done.

had a dream that I was face with like a 20 year old attractive nonwhite girl with brownish skin. i was like WELP I’m a white supremacist, but this gurl is being very interested in me, i COULD bang her, shes got a good body, she’s not ugly, i kinda DO want to bang her, just not make sprog mutant godforsaken abomination babies with her. yeah i will bang her good. maybe even 10 times. it will be fun.

now none of the banging happened in the dream of course hahahaha.

damn. your THIRTY FIVE year old wife with two kids wants to open your marriage now. where do these women get off? maybe a 25 year old woman, i wouldnt be so surprised. but youd think by 35, with 2 kids, she would be mature enough, and more aware of her market value, that she would stop with this hypergamous, have your cake and eat it too bullshit. do you really think youre gonna find a better man at age 35? and youre killing your poor husband cuck!

also this kind of open marriage is insulting to actual polyamorists, which i cant believe i am acknowledging!

this is simply a REAL shitty way of making an EXCUSE for, well hubby, i’m bored with you and i want to cheat and I just met a hot exciting sexy new guy i want to cheat with, so lets try an OPEN REL.  BULLSHIT.

how can she NOT SEE that he isnt gonna agree to this? how is it SO HARD for her to see that MOST people WOULD be VERY UPSET by this? youre 35 years old with a successful career and an 8 year old child!!

AND they are both seeing separate counselors, AND a marriage counselor together!!!!!!

and she still cant see that you just dont CONVINCE  (coerce) your husband into an open rel when he doesnt like the idea………..and 99.9% of men wont!!!!!!!!

i mean SHIT. even the polyamorous GUY the cheating whore was dating talked to the husband, could see how much it was hurting the husband, and broke up with the cheating whore hahahahahahahha.

thing is, there are plenty of women who have tons of casual sex and FWB’s……but they still have that moral line about CHEATING, and have never technically CHEATED.  so i am beign unfair to them with my implication that all casual sex nihilists are also cheaters!

well it IS a slippery slope, isnt it???!?!?!?!?!

sheeeeeeeit.

anyway. its very possible i dont care about a womans past, or a womans many beta harem male friends, when the gurl is OBVIOUSLY INTERESTED in spending time with me. its when they start shutting down and distancing themselves from me, and i get heartbroken and want them back but cant have them back, thats when i start complaining about all the guys shes fooked, or all her male friends that shes gonna fook, who are more sexy and exciting and fun than widdle old me.

but if the woman were ACTUALLY WITH ME for more than 3 weeks, yeah, i think i could put things in perspective and be like, welp, she’s clearly choosing to be with me. rather than making me JUMP THRU HOOPS just to buy her dinner once every two months, or MAYBE ill text you if my other plans dont work out.  when they CLEARLY make me a PRIORITY and not an OPTION. when they clearly make me an OPTION thats when i start bitching about their many other options. and especially their Priorities, who i’m butthurt they chose over me!

so yeah i honestly think i have a decent change of not being all insecure and jealous, ONCE a woman actually CHOOSES me as a priority for longer than a month!

i only get jealous AFTER I get rejected in other words. jealous that she rejects me in favor of them. thats less jealousy and just being plain BUTTHURT or sore loser. and its completely understandable! its HARD to be rejected! especially when you KNOW she is out having fun and lavishing that same shit that you enjoyed SO MUCH for 3 weeks, to some other lucky and/or BETTER guy!!!!!!!!!!

and then i think, COME ON, I’m not THAT shitty…………………………………..

……………………………or AM I????????

and then muh confidence is crushed for years hahahaha.

 

come on. shes 31. she should know how to be nicer to a guy when she dumps him. also its pathetic that he is so hung up over a 31 year old past her prime! this B’s longest rel is only 6 months, and she used to get on a plane to fook a guy before she met this beta guy. thats a good show of effort, when the girl is willing to put forth THAT much WORK, to FLY to see you, regularly.

thing is, they CAN show effort. they CAN be nice. you’ve seen them do it before, you’ve experienced them being nice to YOU before! so why cant they even be 1% as nice when they decide to dump you? be like this just isnt working out, its not you its me, youre not a bad guy, youre a great guy, this is my fault, you can blame me, im sorry, im the bad guy here, but yeah its over because youre not a priority for me and im choosing other guys over you, but its just because i dont want to put in the effort, youre not my type, im sorry to string you along and lead you on and give you false hope, you deserve a loyal and loving woman, and thats not me, im sorry, have a good life, heres at least 100 dollars worth of MJ to help you get through this, and here’s a shrink you can email who will act as my surrogate/representative. the end. hahahahahaha.

that might be a good idea too. hire a shrink to open a new email address and then monitor it and relay messages to the woman, and or shut down any “creepiness” with Firm And Direct statements. the shrink could do the email for 15 minutes a week, 4 weeks, for like 50 dollars.

shirnks or social workers have the communication skills that normal people DONT. so you should pay PROFESSIONALS to handle Breakups, in other words!

why do so many normies do things that you really need PROFESSIONALS to do?

why do you need to go to GRADUATE SCHOOL and become a PROFESSIONAL just to have a Human Relationship???????

i smell jooish stench here hahahahaha.

i dont REALLY think you DO need to go to grad school to have a rel, in other words.

well i mean MEN, because women never have to do any work in rels………..and thats FAIR. dont get mad about that.

i have EIGHTEEN full time years of education. shouldnt that be enough to get me 26k a year?

NO!!!!! you arent ENTITLED to anything!!!! you have WORK to IMPROVE yourself!!!!

well thats what I’m SAYING! i DID do a known quantity of work to improve myself: 18 years of education. isnt that GOOD ENOUGH to warrant, to ENTITLE me, to a 26k job?

NO!!!!!!!!!! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!

you hear stories of people who do millions of first dates but no second dates because the women are so terrible and unattractive. then i think, wow, now THAT WOMAN is one of those forgettable first dates for a number of men. yet i havent forgotten about her!!!!

what was so special about her?

well she was super nice to me and wanted to hang out with me and thought i was cool! that was a big confidence boost, AND she was a real nice person and I thought, hey, I LIKE hanging out with such a nice person! see, women arent all MONSTERS!!!!!!! what a good, nice person! this is exactly the type of person i want in my life! i should hang out with her more!

hehehehehe.

hehehehe id like to meet that dad. yoga pants ARE vulgar and they DO make women look like whores and it IS disappointing!

well him looking at porn is degen of course. but SHE, who doesnt have a problem with porn, has a problem with HIM watching porn because it means hes a hypocrite.

no, it just means he likes jerking off to dirty whores! he just doesnt want his daughter to dress like a dirty whore!

meanwhile she is a successful 25 year old career woman, completely financially independent, oooooo what a SUCCESSFUL, strong independent woman who dont need no man, no husband, no father!

he hates promiscuity yet BENEFITS from it by watching porn!

is he REALLY benefitting?

and is it REALLY promiscuous?

are you saying its BAD to be promiscuous?

are you saying PORN is BAD?

the moron doesnt even know what she’s saying.

”  “Women who wear yoga pants look like sluts.” is not a logical position, it’s an emotional one, and emotions are difficult to change.  ”

OF COURSE ITS A LOGICAL POSITION!!!!!!! YOU CAN SEE THEIR DAMN ASS AND GENITALS AS IF THEY ARE COMPLETELY NAKED AND SHOWING IT OFF TO THE WHOLE WORLD!!!!!!!!!!!!

and yeah that does make people emotional…….for a logical reason. the root cause is logical.

o come on. you think ALL those religious pray the gay away homophobes are all jerking off to “lesbian porn?”

NOT EVERYBODY FOOKING WATCHES PORN, YOU FOOKING VULGAR DEGEN NIHILISTS !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

not all women haters, not all homophobes, not all religious sex-haters,  not all PEOPLE watch PORN!!!!!

stop ASSUMING everybody watches porn!! THEY DONT !!!!!!!

what kind of degen world do these people live in, where everybody watches porn and that behavior is normal???

these reddit women like to point out they will be SEXUALIZED no matter what kind of clothes they were, that they will be Catcalled if they wear a burka or yoga pants.

i cant help but think this is bullshit. yeah some perverted men will catcall and harass women in burkas, but wearing yoga pants is just gonna get you a LOT MORE attention, plus it shows that you ENJOY that attention. that you are actively ENCOURAGING that attention, not DISCOURAGING that attention, which is what dressing modestly does.

but yeah when you show basically your naked body to strangers, dont be suprised when people approach you like you want to get fooked. dont advertise your damn practically naked body. and get mad when men treat and look at you sexually. idiot.

heh. thats one reason i liked that woman. she NEVER wore yoga pants or anything slutty.

THAT I KNOW OF. what if she dressed like a TOTAL slut when she was out doing her thing.

it doesnt matter!!!!!

ARE THERE ANY WOMEN WHO DONT LIKE CASUAL SEX??????

oct 30

i am very happy with the new dial acne control face wash for managing muh oily face, without drying it out and abusing it.

heh. i just ASSUME the sweet jobs i interviewed for early in the week will not call me back. nope. i still need to pay more dues, do more interviews, 27 is not enough, im not good enough even for a PART TIME job. i would totally take the part time job because its a way to just get used to working and gradually build your confidence. where throwing you to the wolves for 50 hours a week will destroy your confidence and that terrifies me. in make or break situations, i tend to get broken hahahahaha.  in sink or swim, i tend to sink hahahaha.  so why do all working situations need to be sink or swim? because thats what WORK IS. kinda like joining the MARINES hahahahaha.

then how do SO MANY people DO it? who would probably flunk out of the MARINES?

cuz they dont mind lying and bullshitting and giving shitty service to angry customers and saying not my problem, cant help you, you dont have to like it, goodbye.

heh. when i havent found a “good” person, i always worry that i would have “grass is greener” syndrome, and women have certainly seemed to have it with ME, have no problem dumping me for for exciting men. but when i find someone “good,” i am fully committed. all in. and then i get quickly dumped for greener grass hahahahaha and heartborken for 2 years.

they alway mention loveisrespect.org hahahaha. if men acted like that, they would get dumped for being boring doormat pussy omega sissy unmasculine cucks. you have to DOMINATE at least a little bit.

but in my sensitive sissy heart, i LIKE that loveisrespect stuff. i want a women to accept me for my sissy self.

”  YOUR RESULT:
Your Love Language:
👐 Physical Touch
Hugs and kisses are so much better than any present, right? You are hopelessly romantic and could never date or marry someone who doesn’t like to snuggle on the couch or in bed each night. You enjoy holding hands anywhere and everywhere and think there is nothing sweeter than seeing an elderly couple doing the same. You understand that life is short and the best things in life are free!   ”

this is the result of my Love Languages test.

was not expecting this, i expected something more with talking or writing.

well, i do like cuddling, spanning time, hanging out, but i hate sex hahahahaha.

so yeah . take this physical language shit to mean that i take cuddling very seriously. and i do. but i dont need to fook 10 times a week, or right away.

YOU NEED THERAPY hahahahaha

hehhehe a 30 year old guy who keeps getting dumped by a 40 year old woman with kids. WOW thats gotta be rough. you cant even keep a 40 year old woman with kids from dumping you.

never mind a 25 year old woman with no kids and low number!!!!!!!

maybe she can use all the money she makes to buy herself a good man hahahahahahahahahahaha

because a 7/10 25 yo white woman with no kids needs to BUY a man with money hahahahahaha.

so a guy gets drunk and smacks a girl dressed like a slut at a halloween partys ass, and all the harpies on reddit say ITS SEXUAL ASSAULT!!!! RAPEY!!!!!! and i am downvoting them all hahahahaha.

like your BF never got drunk and smacked a girls ass before!

i never did, but i dont see how its the end of the world.

these reddit women, think EVERYTHING is SEXUAL ASSAULT.

oh good luck if you want to be going out with DONALD TRUMP. does he grab women by the pvssy too? donald trump SEXUALLY ASSAULTS WOMEN!!!!!!!

real life women actually believe this!

well real life women will believe anything the Controlled Media tells them……..or a strong dominant man tells them!

you just say, boys will be boys, baby, and then smack her ass and plow her hard hahahahahaha.

anyway. sheeeeeeeit.

how to stay cool under pressure. blacks do it. aint no thang but a chikun wang. ok great. how about some WHITES who are cool under pressure. like AUSTRALIANS. they just say she’ll be all right mate, and continue to bantz each other and call each other cvnts and drink vb’s. nothing BOTHERS or FLUSTERS them.

yep i totally understand those feels even though i have not been in that same situation really, but i have seen women choose other guys after dumping me and i would get mad and jealous cuz i really wanted to spend some more time with them and i felt they ended my “turn” WAYYYYY too soon.

again my horrendous sense of entitlement! im not ENTITLED to be with a woman longer than…..5 dates? 8 dates? however many “dates” we had. i think is a more accurate way of expressing it than 3 weeks or 2 month or whatever. cuz its not like we were hanging out more than once a week, once every 2 weeks. always an uphill battle trying to get them to make time for me.

they were never THAT interested in me! it was VERY casual! i mean really, That Woman, even though were never had Casual (or uncasual) secs, she was WAY more Interested in me, because she was willing to talk to me and hang out with me over a period of several years! when the other women were DONE with me in a matter of 2 months at most!

anyway when i went to the social thing, there were attractive 25 year old women there in the audience. i should have Chit Chatted with them. but thats hard to do when you are an unemployed 35 year old who makes less than 26k a year! 25 year old women make 40k a year!

see this is the type of stuff i shouldnt be writing about, its pointless, its Counter Productive hahahaha. its destructive and negative. writing like this got me into the mess im in now!

but yeah. in other words, i think i COULD be not super insecure about “muh gf” having tons of male friends, having 10+ previous secs partners, AS LONG AS she put in a good faith effort to SHOW me that I was the priority and not them. I never had that before.

oh, i put in a good faith effort, but we were hanging out and drinking, and one thing led to another, and i fell onto his dick, please forgive me hahahahaha.

heh. i probably would, because my expectations are so low: oh i cheated on you, no i dont want your forgiveness, in fact, im just gonna leave you for him right now. insult to injury. cheated and dumped. no remorse.

just because you dump your bf immediately after cheating on him doesnt mean your cheating wasnt cheating!

im not even talking to anyone in particular, im talking to a fictional hypothetical woman doing a hypothetical shitty thing!

shit spirals hahahaahaha.

ok well heres something good. i could easily look up that womans name in google, and see what comes up, or i could look at the front page of her facebook and instagram page, seeing a current photo of her in other words, possibly with new foccbois, possible black hahahaha. i could be looking for her on okcupid (well, i did look at her once long ago on OKC, but never since) or plenty of fish or whatever. but i havent done ANY of this. at the very least, google her name, or look at her FB profile picture. but no. i have not done any of that! give me a reward! hahahahaha.

in SOME states you can get medical MJ card for anxiety. maybe even depression. actually no.

https://www.leafly.com/news/health/qualifying-conditions-for-medical-marijuana-by-state

cant tell.

anyway. GIVE ME A CHANCE. give me a chance to show that i wont get too jealous or controlling about your male friends. show me that you like me MORE than all your male friends and wont give up on me after a few weeks! and maybe i wouldnt be so goddam suspicious about womens male friends! sheeeeeeeeeeit.

http://thoughtcatalog.com/kovie-biakolo/2014/09/this-is-what-is-really-wrong-with-casual-sex/

 

http://www.debate.org/opinions/is-casual-sex-wrong

heh

https://www.thetrumpet.com/article/7750.24.131.0/society/the-emotional-corrosion-of-casual-sex?preview

religious source though but still very valid article hehehehe

i just want a woman who takes sex SERIOUSLY and who does NOT like casual sex! is that so much to ask? women SHOULD take sex seriously, they can get fooking pregnant! but many of them have a CASUAL attitude towards ABORTION as well!!!!!! ABSOLUTELY DISGUSTING!!!!!

and then these DISGUSTING ANIMALS go on to have successful careers, and then they have longterm rels, get married, have children, all the things i want to do!!!!!!!!1

i shouldnt have to google “why is casual sex wrong” to find the PERFECT argument so i can CONVINCE a woman not to have casual sex!!!!!!

and then everything near the top is like cosmo and jezebel and thebustle and womens magazines talking about how fun casual sex is and how all women should experiment with a casual sex phase in their 20s. have fun! sow your wild oats!

YOU REAP WHAT YOU SOW.

and when you sow degenerate wild oats…….uhhh you get degenerate wild oats years later. its NOT A GOOD THING.

maybe i would be different f i had a casual sex wild oats period and had fooked 10 women, but i havent, and so it is what it is! you dont have to LIKE it!

 

so jealous of this guy who has massive emo and abandonment issues and will never get a woman…………………………………….. BUT AT LEAST HE MAKES GREAT MONEY and he doesnt seem in danger of losing or quitting his job.

well…..actually he IS very anxious about his job, has big anxiety in general. probably GAD hahahaha.

oct 31

i just hate being put in positions where i have to CONVINCE and EXPLAIN things that are VERY confusing and that I dont understand, to frustrated people. yes, I SWEAR I cannot fix this, your manager has to fix this. so he said to call us? well he’s wrong, we can’t fix this, he has to fix this. he’s not doing his job. so you called us and we fixed it 3 months ago? hmm. do you have the case number hahahahaha. oh you dont then we cant help you. we have no record of that. no im not calling you a liar. im just saying we have no record of your call. no you cant speak to my manager. he’ll tell you the same thing. that your manager is wrong and that if your manager has any questions, he should speak to HIS manager. oh his manager said that WE have to fix this? well they’re BOTH wrong. have your managers manager speak to HIS manager. no they cant speak to my manager. NOBODY can speak to my manager! where are these policies written down? they’re NOT, because they change every day. we have no record of any policies. the policies are always changing and as of right now, the policy is that we dont fix it. no we dont have that in writing. it is what it is. you dont have to like it. you dont like it? find a new job. your customers dont like it? we dont want their money, they can find a new provider. oh thats a known issue. it will be fixed in a future software update. no timeline. hopefully soon, but cant make any promises or speculation. so your customers waiting? then ask your manager to approve a discount, or they can go somewhere else.

this kind of bullshit just both frustrates me and makes me panic. i mean what do you SAY in these difficult situations? similarly i dont want to do something where I regularly have to give really bad news. like no we are not covering this prescription for your cancer ridden mother, why, well because my manager said so, no you cant speak to them, they are unavailable. good luck watching your mother die! is there anything else i can HELP YOU WITH today?

that kind of bullshit. where i want to be straight with people but i dont have the info and i dont have the help. at those points i will gladly throw my superiors under the bus to show sympathy for the customer/caller.

also you cant say that you stayed and worked off the clock to be more efficient with your time, because no manager is going to Officially Approve of you working off the clock. because what if you hurt yourself at the workplace, but off the clock?

well then maybe they would have a legal case saying YOU SHOULDNT HAVE BEEN THERE, so they are not gonna pay for your treatment.

but yeah, you shouldnt admit to staying off the clock to finish your work. i guess this doesnt apply to exempt salary jobs, when you are technically on the clock all your life. we dont punch a clock here.

anyway youre just telling the manager that you dont work quickly and efficiently enough, that you need extra time (ie extra money) and that you arent as good as employees that get all their work done in the time allotted. youre SLOW.

i mean still stay after you punch out and do work for free so you can suck up and try to look good, but you just cant brag about it as a way to help you get the job.

i mean i already candy coat shit and try to sell myself as some confident miracle worker who is really good at explaining confusing shit to angry customers.

you can say that when you go home you study work related material in your free time so you can do your job more efficiently. that’s less sketchy than staying around after punchout to “do extra work for free”. so i do say that i do a lot of studying on my free time.

well how do i explain that i didnt want to go to GRAD SCHOOL. you just dont simply dont want to go to grad school. should i say i applied and was rejected? then you look like a loser failure. you got rejected from grad school, why shouldnt you get rejected from jobs?

and i didnt even get rejected from grad school, i simply didnt apply, because i didnt really want to go! and also i felt that i WOULD get rejected because i didnt have enough good references or undergrad research/honors/thesis/internship experience!

ok applied to 3 jobs. no chance. 1 fedgov job (32k), 2 state jobs (34k, 39k). i mean i wish i could just bring up a list of 32k jobs, shit 26k jobs, and just apply for those. but less than half of jobs tell you what the pay is, unless its a govt job like these.

ok 4th job. local auto dealer. accounting clerk. sheeeeeeeeit.

i get more angry and hateful when i am more productive hahaha. i just hate everyone and everything. all these normie morons who can get and keep jobs but i cant. what the fook do they WANT from me? so yeah even though its good to be productive to do job apps……is it really good if i am kinda half assing them, tyring to go as fast as possible, in 14 minutes per, plug and play the right “variables”, etc, go through the motions, feel some anger, these phaggots, these sluts, these normies, i just want to make 26k a year and smoke MJ every day hahahahaha, maybe fook some 25 year old sluts, and evangelize to them to luv their race and never mudshark again.

cluster c personality disorders. including avoidant personality disorder which i probably have. heh. i remember when i was 20 i was like OH GOD i hope i dont have a personality disorder, that would REALLY suck.

yeah well i prob only had garden variety anxiety back then………NOW i have a full blown personality disorder hahahaha. all because i was too cowardly to go see a shrink at age 20.

yeah well i started seeing a shrink at age 26, maybe 25………thats not too bad eh?????

its really not, hahahaha. good for me!!! hahahaha.

the idito bitches in reddit think that MUH EDUCATIONNNNNNN is the answer to everything. as if two short years and 200 measly dollars in tuition will suddenly skyroket you from 13 an hour to 15 an hour HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

some good covers on here! but would like to hear more “covers” of stuff from his latest two ambient albums, which i think he could have spent a LITTLE more time and effort on hahahahaha to make them SOUND BETTER.

 

heheh the flipside of what happened to me. he is confused and a little upset sure but he doesnt GHOST her. he is confused and doesnt know what to do, but he doesnt want to block her from his life without any explanation.

great response:

”   ]acox1701 7 points 4 hours ago
It would probably help if you have another conversation with her- after you sort through your feelings and what you want.
A million times this.
Not responding to her at once is not a dick move, unless OP literally said nothing. It’s bound to be upsetting, but one cannot reasonably be expected to react to such a thing on zero notice.
OP, figure out your shit, and sit her down. Negotiate things. Ask her if it’s hurting her to be around you, and then trust her answer. Tell her that if she changes her mind, to let you know.
Negotiate your friendship like an international arms treaty. That sounds odd, but a lot of relationships, romantic or otherwise are based on a vast number of underlying assumptions, and this relationship has just had all of those swept away. You and she need to reestablish them, together, so that you can continue.
Important topics to bring up:
Does she expect you to return her affection? Does she want you to?
Do you want to return her affection? Would you be willing to explore it, or are you unwilling to take the risks that would entail for your current social scene?
Do you need to spend a few months separate from each other? Could you quietly communicate before events so one or the other stays home from some or all things? Can you both be respectful of the other’s occasional need to stay home, or request the other stay home? Can you both be cool about it?
You are going to want to avoid teasing, touching, or flirting with her. Make sure she knows this, and is aware that you’re trying to not cause her any inner turmoil, or false hope, or similar. She may insist that she’s OK with it. (I’d rather be teased by my crush, with no hope of it going anywhere, than to be ignored, but I’m a sad, pathetic little man)
All things on the table. Talk it out, then you can both get on with your lives.   ”

heheheh. saving that in case i ever get feelings for a friend again, so i can print that out, give it to them, and say, lets talk about THESE THINGS.

i would give the guy REDDIT GOLD if reddit was worth supporting hahahaha.

ok finally applied to 5th job, that is enough for today hahaha.

it was tricky, since problems with router again hehehe. or wireless card. have to restart computer just to get the wireless connection back. i dont know if the problem is in the wireless card or in the router. cant be determined. cant be fixed. sorry. is there anything else i can help you with today?

i dont know what to tell you, and no you cant speak to a more experienced person. no, you cant speak to the person i am getting advice from. hes not even in my office. he is scheduled to be in a chat room for the next 4 hours. also he’s never wrong, his judgement is INFALLIBLE.

yeah i admit his job is not fun either. having to stay in this chat room and give advice to the squealing piggies, the level 1s. but its better than being the level 1’s on the phone with the customers who dont know what theyre doing!

i dont know what to tell you. other than i can do nothing, i cant transfer you to someone better, and hopefully this problem goes away on its own.

heh. i never thought that going on DISABILITY would ever be a realistic thing hahahahaha.

i dont want to be disabled! i just want to work like a normie and not SNAP!!!!!!

applied for 6th job, that was a little excruciating hehehe. but it only t0ok 23 minutes with an average of 14 hehehe.

i mean its hard not to be perfectionistic, when you have to be PERFECT to have any success!

or you cant mentally check out at your job becuase your quality will slip because your job takes perfect concentration and intense skill! so you cant not have measurably bad quality when you are having a bad day! because the worse your mood is, the worse your work is, and your supervisors immediately notice that you are not longer performing at the minimum!!!!

how do you GET AWAY with half assing your work, in other words?

 

oh this BEAUTIFUL young man! he is in college and everyone is having casual sex, but he is not interested, he thinks sex is something SPECIAL!!!!!!!!

OH YOURE ADORABLE.

the sad thing is that there ARE wimmin in uni that really DO want a rel, and DONT like casual secs. and i totally fooked it up and didnt TRY hard enough to find them !!!!!!!

applied for unheard of 7th job. at a fairly well known company. choice employer, like top tier shit that i have no chance of getting an interview. so why even apply. waste 13 minutes applying. well maybe 30 minutes and i could have tailored the shit REAL nice. but i didnt.

i mean underachieving losers dont get jobs at GOOD companies, they get jobs at BAD companies, if they get jobs at all.

might go to fatness club today for first time in months.

 

well this is kinda a big deal, the first release from deathspell omega in 4 years. kewl cover tho bro. hopefully its not all wankish spaghetti and jerking off hahahahahah. hasjarl decides he’s tired of making 200k a year with his donald trump real estate business, and probably having rels with solid 8/10’s, to make music like its 2005 again hahahahaha.  i have not listened to this yet, yeah i will give it a proper listen i guess. i mean why not. i like mikko aspa hahahahahaha. synarchy of molten bones, what does that even MEAN. i bet they just have a damn drum machine. there is no mystique hahahahaha. [citation needed hahahaha]

im just jelly that hasjarl can make good money at a normie job. i am jelly of any musician who does that. you get to be successful at work OR music, not BOTH. pick one AND ONLY ONE.

like these stupid musicians that get phds, or they have good jobs. i bet thats the reason dso never tours, is that he’s got a good job but its not so good that he can get weeks off at a time to play shows.

no i really have no idea. i do hope the album isnt a goddamn noisy overtechnical mess hahahahaha. how about some riffs and and melodies and not 600000000000000000 wanky bits slapped together. i thought that stuff was kewl when i was 25 hahahahaha but not anymore. so write riffs like you were 20 years old again, mannnnnn. and let mikko turn you into a nationalist. and let me make mikko into a HUHWHYTE nationalist hahahahaha.

no that really is a pretty good cover art tho.

but satan satan satan oooh orthodox esoteric satanism whoooooooo spoooooopy hahahahaha. who cares. he knows his shtick has gotten old hahahahahaha.

no i dont know why i am such an asshole to him hahahaha. prob just jelly. that he’s a normie nonvirgin nonnevergf AND he makes very influential music and he can get mikko to hang out with him. actually i BET mikko just stays in finland and records his vocals in his own “studio” and sends them to DSO aka “hasjarl.”

I DONT TRUST ANYONE WHOS NOT A NEVERGF. THESE NONNEVERGF NORMIES!!!!!!!!

I HATE NONVIRGINS AND NONNEVERGFS hahahahahahahahahahahaha.

and EVERYONE is either a nonnevergf or especially a nonvirgin!

well technically even I am a nonvirgin hahahaha. so i got that going for me hahaha.

6 jobs in 1 day, havent applied to a job in 10 days hahahaha. although i did have 3 interviews in that time, MOTHER FOOKER hahahaha.

sheeeeeeeeeit found rare ass FT job at big local employer. they have like 3 FT jobs a year, a ridic low number considering the number of employees and customers. used to work an easy job here for years. would LOVE to get another easy PT job just as kinda training wheels for me right now…….but i cant even get a PT job there yet. interviewed for  3 PT jobs there, turned down each time, have 4th pt job interview there this week. getting FT job there would be RIDICULOUS. to think i had a bigass chance at that TWO YEARS AGO. i remember talking about it with that woman. she said ohhh i really hope you get it. i really wanted to get it too!

took half dose of nyquil.

so, 8 jobs today. that is ridic damn good. not my highest ever but close. certainly a relative high, because i am lucky to get 4 done on one day. and havent done ONE in TEN days hehehehe. like a lazy NGR hahahahaha.

but yeah the job was open for like 2 weeks and it closes in 2 days and i was frustrated because this was the first i was seeing it because there is no way to get damn email alerts for these jobs. you either check the companies jobs sites or YOUR SCREWED. these jobs do NOT show up on indeed. ive set up indeed alerts for this company and get NOTHING.

well i bet they do that intentionally, to not get 9000000000000000000000000000000000000 applicants. not like you need the best of the best to do this 33k job. but i see that and i am like THIS IS PERFECT, get instant hardon. get a WAY bigger hardon for a 33k job than a 34k, 35k, or 40k job. closer to 26k, the better of a chance i have!

so yeah i applied for that the instant i saw it.

also cannot find the job on careerbuilder OR monster. ONLY the goddam company website itself.

heh. this is EXACTLY the type of job they would promise to some pt slob on the inside, but they HAVE To post it because rules. well….i shouldnt say pt slob, becuase the the pt slob deserves this job.

but i am a little butthurt that i worked there pt for FIVE YEARS and couldnt get an FT job there. just because i was an idiot who didnt PUSH hard enough.

and then when i PUSHED with that woman, i totally blew that.

i just dont know when to push and when not to push!

well shit. if i got another pt job there, i would PUSH alot harder! but getting a pt job there is not easy either!

weird thing is, i would get emails about jobs when i was a pt there………..but i dont remember many ft jobs that werent on the website. which was like 2 a year hahahaha.

so i shoulda PUSHED the HR department, and been like, put me on The List. Get me in The Pool. talk to my manager if you need approval.

they dont want to have alerts for their jobs, because that means more resumes to read!!!!!!!

and you are gonna find a good enough candidate whether you read 100 resumes or 1000. so that the Marginal value of reading one more resume drastically drops off after like # 100. what is that number? might even be #70 hahaha.

i tell you its NOT 1000!!!!!!!!

closer to 100 than it is to 1000!!!!!!

i mean this org does not have a ton of employees from muh university…..because the assholes from muh university go to much more presitigous places and wouldnt be caught dead working here!!!!

FAT SLOBS, PIGS, DOGS, DISGUSTING ANIMALS

oct 27

note: BMR means what calories you would burn if you LAID IN BED ALL DAY DOING NOTHING. but since even fat slobs, dogs, pigs, disgusting animals, lazy negros, and lazy NEETS all get out of bed and lumber around at least a little bit, you will then burn like 100 calories just walking back and forth to the toilet and foodbag. and therefore lose weight IF you consume no more than 1500 calories at a BMR of 1500 calories, which for my danny devito esque frame, is appropriate.

i found a woman i am 95% sure is andrew anglin’s sister. she is referred to as “Ms” as late as 2016 and is 30 years old. I wonder if I should try marrying her hahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha. i mean this stuff is all out there, i will just say she appears to be a christian counselor much like his/their father is. hopefully she has a better reputation than the father, who has a ton of sleazy sex scandal rumors. but i fully respect andrew anglin and i would be very willing to give his sister the benefit of the doubt. i wonder what his rel is like with his family. i mean i think his father manages his USPS mailbox. which in itself is kinda amazing. he could be like you take that address down right now or im disowning you. even better, i will TAKE the THOUSANDS of dollars people send you. he obviously hasnt done that.

i dont care if andre has a Rich Daddy, he and im sure his sister turned out all right, and andrew is doing GODS WORK. whatever degeneracy is in his past is more than made up for by this.

yeah 99.9999% sure its a sister. maybe a cousin. definitely an anglin. hahaha. she is doing an MSW program and wants to help children. COME ON. WHAT A NICE WOMAN.

oct 28

adam and mary gray, good morning white america podcast, very promising White Pill Comfy Podcast between a happily married, pro-white husband and wife who have at least one kid and prob more.

to us black pill cynical hateful neet virgins, it sounds a little “syrupy” or the most cynical might even think it sounds “fake”…..but i dont think its really “fake”, thats just us haters desperately wanting to believe that True Lasting Mutual Luv is a Jooish Lie. There are tons of Jooish Lies, sure, but White Luv is NOT one of them! But adam and mary’s Strong Rel will make lonely foreveralones angry and sad that they/we can never have something like that hahahaha.

or you can choose to look at it positively, like yes there are good women out there.  i would recommend that.

went did social thing last night as ive been talking about, it was good fun, glad i did it. i just tried to be nice and not too weird and just smile and be nice and laugh and say thank you. i wanted to buy people drinks but i did not take enough initiative as needed unfort. Fort no one seemed offended by me not buying drinks.

basically went to a stage production which i would show no initiative to do myself, would basically take a woman for me to do something “FUN” like this. well the one guys GF was instrumental here. they are in a longterm rel and did the event last year. i used to be very suspicious of her but now I have warmed up to her. I mean she’s got her issues which will always need to be managed, but I dont think shes a rotten degenerate bitch at heart hahahahahaha. not at all! in fact she might be similar to me in Crippling Social Anxiety, but that sort of stuff does not damage women as much as men hahahaha.

basically there was a stage show with comedy and banter and songs and silliness. Gay AF. from a distance, i would say, oh jeez, this is some degen swpl jooish bullshit, totally pozzed degeneracy. but on the whole the vibe I took out of it was just Pure Fun and Silliness with not nearly as much Degen Pozzed Jooish Antiwhite Poison as I feared. even though the author of the musical is a Joo. there was nothing blatantly jooish, well…apart from a few homosexual bromance sort of jokes, and beautiful young women prancing around in not enough clothing, leaving their beautiful 22 year old bodies open for the hungry, thirsty gaze of the entire audience, as the beautiful 22 year old BFA grad enjoyed every second of attention on her perfect white body. and i was a very willing participant as well. i liked her pale white skin and long legs. also since I dont watch jooish porn, or go to jooish titty bars, or go to jooish beaches during the summer, or have jooish casual tinder secs, I really don’t see that much Female Skin ever.  really its on par with a young QT gurl wearing a “bikini” at the beach…………and that is MORE than enough for me!!!!!!!!!!!

but i wouldnt call it SUPER degenerate, and it didnt lessen my enjoyment of the show. I just would have preferred that she wore a little more clothing during those scenes. and thinking of this beautiful young 22 year old woman’s personal life, pursuing a Career as an Actress, taking lots of Dix, being a Liberated Woman, etc, that is sad and degen more than any of the material in the actual show. again the show was very well presented so I was able to enjoy the entertainment and Social Bonding value in the moment.

there was also a Niceguy Beta Male character which I liked, and they really played up that angle. Big Bald Spot, pasty belly, desperately orbiting the girl, getting no respect from anyone, total aw shucks go eat worms type niceguy, who has a moment of despair, followed by a bit of redemption where he gains some confidence.

i thought, how is all this NOT MORE degenerate? jooish author, homoeroticism, musicals are inherently gay………

BUT I think musicals are also inherently fun in a way that other Narrative Forms are not. I mean the whole goal is to have fun, and there’s not really anything too political or poisonous. like you would see in a movie or tv show.

also the fact you can see the actual real people up there makes a difference.

i mean i’ve always been SOMEWHAT fascinated in the idea of musicals as a pretty legit form of entertainment. like pure entertainment in the strictest sense of the word. in a way that is more innocent and nondegen than other stuff.

which is not to say theres not some degen musicals out there. like rent and avenue q and all that shit.

ok what about rocky horror picture show. theres a good example. there is degen, jooish af shit in there like dildos and trannies…….but still the overall tone is suprisingly good clean fun. its very UNTRIGGERING and COMFY, totally unlike going to a Tranny Kink Parade or something.

SOOOOO we basically need a 1488 Musical that blatantly promotes White Culture and Values in this fun, comfy, white pill, unrustling, untriggering way, that leaves the audience feeling good af about whites and being white, and white families and white children and the 14 words.

i mean its FEELGOOD is a good word for musicals, its very feelgood in a special unique way, which i think is a big value add hahahaha.

maybe think of the sound of music, if the ebil nazis were not the bad guys ahahahahaha. but the good guys.

so yeah i mean a 1488 musical makes PERFECT sense to me. talk about love and honor and family and you could have some more dramatic musicals but id like to start out with some more lighthearted feelgood and maybe even slightly silly funny musicals.

really i should indulge my latent interest in musicals more and just watch classic shit like i dunno sound of music and west side story and the pirates of penzance and whatever.

also i regret not participating in that shit in high school and kollige. it can give confidence to unmanly weirdos and then they can pull Drama Musical Sluts like the beautiful girl in this one hahahaha. i mean these people fook each other like casual degen negros…..but i would have totally done that during ages 16 to 22 if it were freely available to me. anyway i think i could have had some fun, built confidence, and got some experience with women doing that stuff.

particularly during college.

i actually DID do some stage stuff in high school, but it was very half assedly. i basically did background singing and dancing which really did not help me too much with the wimmin, even though i was partnered with wimmin. they all had boifrans and i had no game hahahaha. in hindsight i should have tried for bigger roles. pushed out of the comfrot zone.

and ESPECIALLY done something like that in college, who cares about high school. but i didnt do ANYTHIGN like that in college unfort.

yeah i mean the women this shit attracts are drama queens and sluts…..but it becomes a lot easier to deal with the drama queens when you have banged a lot of them hahahahahaha. or at least i think that it would.

i guarantee you that banging that 22 year old gurl would boost ANY mans confidence.  i mean that perfect female bod should awaken and stir something in any red blooded man.

now when i say perfect, i dont mean unattainable whatever bullshit jooish media perfection of “airbrushed” women and women with “eating disorders.” I simply mean women of a HEALTHY BMI who are blessed with a pretty good shape: long legs, good skin, nice hair, not an endomorph potato shaped body. thats all. the end.

admittedly, less than half of women are genetically gifted with long legs and a non potato body!

yeah in fact the 22 year old girl last night could have safely gained 10 pounds and still be beautiful 8.8/10!

i briefly thought of That Woman and how I would have loved to see her body that same way this totally random strange gurl was showing her body to a crowd of people. That Woman I think would have been a bit “thicker” in parts, and that was PERFECTLY fine by me. again, it all boils down to Long Legs and general body shape. that is totally my type. unfort thats EXTRA hard for a short-legged, potato manlet like me to pull.

POTATO MEN NEED TO SETTLE FOR POTATO WOMEN

hahahahahahahahahaha.

and im not talking about irish hahaha.

sheeeeeeeeeit. rejected for ANOTHER mail clerk job. isnt the first but hopefully its the last. it STINGS to be rejected for MAIL CLERK! like I said recently, its those jobs that seem more in REACH of your goal of being AVERAGE, of making 13 bucks an hour, when THEY reject you, its like damn, maybe it’s too high to be AIMING FOR AVERAGE. that’s too much to ask for.

not asking for 36k a year! Im asking for 26k a year and getting REJECTED for it!

never mind that a 35 year old man should be making WAY more than 36k if he wants to have an Average Life with Wife, Family, and Home!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

so yeah. i dont think i need to spend an hour arguing how and why a musical would be a great genre to use for Wh1te P0wer and 14 Words. it could well be dramatic, but my personal priority is to do something more silly and funny, just cuz thats how i prefer my musicals. i mean i cant take anything SERIOUSLY when they are SINGING SONGS in their “regular life.”

exception is “dancer in the dark” which…..”subverts” the genre and its comfy innocent feelgood way, in a perverse despairing way only lars von trier could be capable of. but i find that movie genuinely moving and one of my LVT favorites.

but yeah the movie takes this inherent feelgood aspect of The Musical and turns it 180, giving you one of the saddest, heartbreaking, feelsad movies of all time. which of course held a lot of appeal for me.

Wrangler® Men’s Advanced Comfort Relaxed Fit Jeans – Dark Indigo

21 dollars incl tax, free shipping, target.com baby. free shipping till end of 2016. get yourself some Gr8 Jeans for a Reasonable Price. I should really buy like 5 pairs just because I will be sorely disappointed when they stop making these jeans like 5 or 10 years from now. these are the far and away #1 best jeans ever. period. very very principled alt right pro white 1488 traditional jeans.

so what are some good musicals i could recommend for the white family. like i say, even something totally degen like rocky horror can be enjoyed by Radical Traditionalist White Nationalists, but I of COURSE understand that we need something that is less degen.

ok didnt they make monty python holy grail into a musical, spamalot or some shit. try that.

well in fact, the movie itself is technically a musical!!! and silly as shit!!! and not terribly degen!!!! so yeah go back and watch holy grail while cuddling with your waifu. meaning of life is great too.

dont know why i am all interested in andrew anglins sister. better than being interested in THAT WOMAN i guess. i mean the anglin woman is no spring chicken, she is like THIRTY years old. hey stillyounger than me, still somewhat fertile. well plus everyone in AA’s family is a Counselor/Therapist, which I think is interesting. but they are all christian therapists, which is extra interesting. i could understand if AA wanted to rebel from CHRIST during his youth……..but I could equally understand if he wants to Come Back as an older man. also the damn rumors about his father doing degen and unchristian things with the ladies. does that mean his sister would do degen things with men????? i hope not!!!!!!! And its nice to see what appears to be a sweet kind woman talking about loving children and helping children and all children are a gift from God and all that. its like DAMN WHY dont you have some children of your OWN????!!?!?!???!?!!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

well i’m sure she WILL. someone who luvs children that much will PROBABLY find a way to have at least ONE child. but obviously i think a nice white woman like her should have at least 3, and its ridic to spend your career helping children, when you could be HAVING your OWN children.

its nice seeing a woman who likes children. i mean why SHOULDNT a woman like children. MOST women do, i think. It’s just REALLY disturbing and disgusting when a woman goes out of her way to signal that she DOESNT like children, or Never Wants Children. An Antinatalist Woman. you see them on reddit relships hahahahaha. yeah that is really triggering to me. antichildren women are just unnatural as fook to me.

and yeah i wonder about the personal and family lives of the men I admire, and I admire AA for what he has done, and wonder how he became the man he is today.

plus he has a reputation for being harsh on women, but i am the same way. i have the same Huge Doubts in women that AA has. The same ISSUES hahahaha. I dont want his issues to keep him from getting a good woman. i wonder how his family has led to his issues. his sister seems like an example of a great woman, but his father is a rumored Womanizer who is very good at Manipulating women. How does his mother feel about all this? how does his sister feel about it? are his mother and father still together? how true are these rumors?

i mean i dont think he’s ever had any CHARGES brought against him, its just a lot of clients complaining about him on the internet.

and being a therapist allows you to have a lot of emotional intelligence, be good at establishing a very intimate repoire with people, talking about their deepest issues, so its easy to see how a charming man could exploit that. and equally easy to see how a good decent god-fearing person could use that to really help someone too.

so why didnt andrew follow in the family footsteps then?

and I really dont think andrew would be comfortable talking about all this in a public interview. and he doesnt have to be. this is really private stuff!!!!!!!!!!!!!

also HOW religious are they? they are some kind of protestant, and those people run the gamut. i am only familiar with catholics. i understand catholics a lot better. feel a sort of kinship with them, like a lesser tier of race.  i guess i should really aim towards marrying a CATHOLIC gurl then eh? its not a priority the way marrying a WHITE gurl is an absolute set in stone must.

so what i really wanna know is, did she bang a lot of guys in liberal arts college, and did she bang brown bobby hill looking hondurans when she worked with The Poor in honduras for 3 years (i think kind of a religious GOD angle there).

i cant see a white gurl banging ugly short indio men, the same way i can see white gurls banging Secsy Black Bucks.

and if they do, i can just laugh them off. the women that is. i just dont see squat brown men as a legit, real, viable threat to our women the same way i see Black Men. Because I’ve seen actual good looking white women poached by black men. i take it very seriously. sheeeeeeeeit That Woman liked a Black man over ME. I was outcompeted for someone I considered Extremely Important, by a sleazy Black man. OF course this hurts your confidence, self esteem, and makes you god damn suspicious of white women and black men.

although it didnt make me racist. i was racist WELL before that!!!!!!!!! hahahaha

 

well hes 26, still a very young man, you know how 26 year olds are, you cant be expected to be mature at that age hahahahaha.

so i am 10 times worse because I am 35 (hehehe) and have a high school degree and a college degree hehehehe. i feel guilty though and try to do things for muh fam, give back to them, and also i am doing a lot more job searching effort than this guy hahaha. i have done 27 interviews and applied for 486 jobs hahahahahaha. plus i go to my shrink regularly (once a month) and take muh meds every day. and i dont play vidya, i’ve lost 33 pounds in 2016, i buy as much of my own shit as possible and stuff for the fam.

but yeah these are the kind of guys i want to HELP. and they pile shame on the guy. all these fookin successful normies that can get an keep a job becuase of their good attitudes. hey i try to fake a good attitude during all of muh 27 interviews, i try not to seem entitled and negative. i try to seem like the perfect positive employee. onyl thing is a get nervous and and trip over words when trying to tell Stories of Times When. and i am not Electrifyingly Charismatic. but Uncharismatic people all have jobs!!!!!! how do THEY do it? they worked at it and became charismatic enough to do well in interviews.

well, getting the job is one thing, keeping the job without PanicQuitting is another!!!!!!

(reddit where OP doesnt know how to respond to an uneducated persons TRANSPHOBIC slurs, ie referring to transition lenses as “trannies” ) ”  I love this reply. An alternative response to bigotry/racism/misogyny is to say, “You must be so embarrassed you said that.” And then move the conversation on.
Another solution to inappropriate jokes or remarks is to feign confusion. It makes them have to explain it which both entirely drains the joke of any humor and exposes their racism outright if they attempt to do so. All you do is keep calmly asking “Why?” and watch them become more and more flustered.    ”

REALLY? you fooking morons with your “post graduate” degrees and “exciting, fulfilling careers”.

NO Im NOT embarrassed I said those disparaging things about blacks, women, j00s. and yes I will mansplain it to you: because TOO MANY of THEM willingly act like disgusting savages and refuse to take any responsibility for their abhorrent, degenerate, disgusting, nihilistic, immature, destructive, toxic, negative, abusive, shameful behavior.

fooking reddit. this triggers me just as much as BIGOTRY triggers them hahahaha.

great now i stalked this beautiful young actress for like 20 minutes. turns out she went to christian high school and continues to Luv God probably into the current year. i wonder how it makes jesus feel when she shows her perfect 22 year old body to leering, lonely 35 year old men. but yeah maybe her Faith has kept her from being a slut, meaning she’s been with less than 10 guys before age 22!

hehehe. why am i so JUDGEMENTAL of women, just brutally judging and calculating every aspect of them? because im TRYING TO FIND A WORTHY VESSEL OF MY SEED, TO BE THE MOTHER OF MY CHILDREN. I wouldnt want to be throwing PEARLS BEFORE SWINE.

so shes been wiht only 10 guys. i mean she’s good mother of my children material just for being so damn beautiful, and for loving God. i mean its USUALLY a good sign when a young grill openly declares her luv for GOD.

ok gonna give boortzum ways of yore another cahnce.

wish he had just used real instruments instead of his wifes apple computer hahahahaha.

just wish he got rid of that electric harsh noise and just used real piano, real strings, real horns, real winds, real orchestra, real lutes and xylophones and whatever.

but i like the idea of calm chill music specifically written to Celebrate The European Soul, which this explicitly is. “BURZUM: USING MUSIC TO PROMOTE EUROPEAN CULTURE”. fook yeah! sign me up for that! buncha phaggots saying yeah ummmm ok wacko, go jerk off to some vikings. but i am 1488% with varg on PROMOTING EUROPEAN CULTURE.

and yeah the papyrus font is RIDICULOUS but he’s been attached to that for years.

and he seems to be making more videos, like almost one a day, and being more creative with them, like making mini documentaries, which is great. getting better at presenting his important thoughts and also creating very entertaining videos, responding to the fans, etc.

all the people, oh he made great music before prison, but hes crazy and deplorable.

NOPE. I agree with Varg 99% on his social, political, ideological, anti-jooish, pro-white views. i dont agree with his christians suck, k1ke on a stick views, but thats almost not even a big deal.

anyway yeah i would totally date that actress girl EVEN IF she had been with “only” 10 guys.

hahahaha she is taller than me and weighs almost exactly the same as me HAHAHAHAHAHA (when you are an actress getting a BFA in Performing Arts, you put your height and weight on your resume)

tried listening to ways of yore. tough listen. some of the samples cut off too sharply. the songwriting is probably pretty good, but the sounds/production leaves a lot to be desired. cant help but feel he could have improved that if he had just worked a little harder. its not like a white man to be a lazy negro half assing things, hahahahahahahaha.

i mean damn. he got a better sound on hlidskjalf, in prison.

he could probably Reach Out to his fans and put together an Orchestra of people that know how to play orchestra instruments, and then conduct them to play his music the way he wanted.

ok like on “belus” and “valen” he didnt play entire songs when he was recording. he played bits and pieces and then copied and pasted those pieces. but it doesnt SOUND copied and pasted at all, it sounds like him playing actual instruments. which he IS technically doing. so just do something like that for his “ambient” stuff. you can still use a keyboard. just include more real instruments, and dont use those awful fake drums.

or get better sounding fake drums. i mean electronic music producers do pretty well for all synthesized stuff.

its just weird. i dont like being DISAPPOINTED by varg. i never USED to be as disappointed by his music, and I have been nothing but ENCOURAGED with how he’s lived his life after prison. and really thats more important than his music. his 6 white children. but i remember when he used to make great music too.  well he makes good videos now so, really im not THAT butthurt.

i just want new music made by my old favorite guys. cuz i cant enjoy new music and new bandz any moar.

sheeeeit. if that 22 year old actress were interested in me, i’d let her hang out with all her male friends all she wanted. AS LONG AS she kept coming back to me. that was always the problem, NOT the male friends PER SE: is that regardless if the gurl had 5 male friends or 50, she would always get bored of me in like 1 month and just not want to hang out with me any more. that is a blow to the ego and the confidence. just losing interest.

you can have male friends, just dont get bored of ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

oh well its MY fault because im BORING, and cant COMPETE with these guys.

NO, im not THAT boring, bitch!!!!!!!!

and even if i were, whats so BAD about boring?

boring isn’t bad, and also i’m not THAT boring, just a LITTLE bit!!!!!! fook!!!!! tell me YOURE not a little bit boring!!!!!

oh but women dont need to not be boring because uterus privelege, women are the supply, men are the demand, and being nonboring is the PRICE MEN have to pay. women have already paid their price just by existing. just by having a uterus. just by being the babymakers. THATS FAIR.  THATS WHY men cant be boring. thats why I HAVE to be not boring. i dont have to LIKE it. thats just the way it IS.

IT IS WHAT IT IS. YOU DONT HAVE TO LIKE IT.

and also, we concluded it WAS fair. that should make it easier to accept, right?

yeah…..but im not THAT boring!!!!!!!

i have been interesting enough to keep male friends for 10, 15, 20 years!

i have been interesting to keep female friends for almost 3 years!

i have had friends, including female friends, so im not as bad as some neet incel virgin rodger! supreme magnificent gentleman!

i got invited to a fun social event last night!

its just kinda hard because I dont go to BARS on the WEEKEND and STAY OUT LATE. stay till 2 am at the BAR on a saturday night, then stay up till 4 am partying somewhere else.

i need a FOCUS other than just drinking at the bar. yeah well they do do karaoke too, which is pretty important. why dont i just go to the bar, not drink, and do karaoke? that would make people like me more hahahahahaha. raise my social capital.

i mean i dont even need to IMPRESS these people!!!!

but I DO need to impress NEW people, because if i want to meet a wife, shes gonna have to be a NEW person. since I dont KNOW any Available Women.

i know a total of two women, both unavailable, and uhhh i dont see myself being super interested in them if they were to become available.

of course, i said the same about that woman.

of course, i was better friends with that woman than i am with these other women.

women women women women women women women women women women women women women women.

last couple times i took a valium, it didnt DO anything. i mean it could be old and stale I guess. some of those are 2 years old. can pharms just go bad like that?

when you make MJ butter, you dont just throw the butter in a pan. you mix water and butter so the butter doesnt scorch. then you simmer the water butter MJ mixture for a few hours, strain out the MJ, let the water butter cool, and then the butter will separate from the water, and you just pour out the water. and eat the butter. or put it in your coffee hehehehehehe.

 

DONT SEPARATE THINGS THAT SHOULDNT BE SEPARATED

oct 26

ok  done with interview for PT 15 an hour job. 1500 hours a year max. 24 to 32 hours depending on the department. 3 openings, 3 diff departments. one is def more customer oriented. hope they dont pick me for THAT one because i said i was good at dealing with difficult customers. yeeeesh.  yikes. oy vey. so just do a shitty job, quit, and never work for this org again hahahaha when it is DEF one of my Top Orgs To Work For. great benefits, close to home, unfireable, stable secure job, union.

talked to 3 people, including a handsome young man who i learned is about 3 or 4 years younger than me and he has a Controller position, because he Chose A Good Life with Hard Work, and has a BS in Accounting, an MBA with focus on Taxation, a CPA, so hence he’ll always have a GREAT job. why didnt I just Be Like Him. I joked that I did poorly on the accounting portion of the test, but that I was just rusty and I can brush up on my Accounting Fundamentals.

3 people in the room grilling me hahahahaha. no they were all nice enough. I got emails from all. i have def gotten better at that. just getting emails from EVERYONE in the room.

i need a full 20 ounce mug of strong coffee JUST TO GET OUT OF BED IN THE MORNING to be somewhere at 8:30 am hahahahaha.

meaning i pour the mug the night before, leave it on my table next to the bed, set alarm 15 to 20 minutes before i want to get up, then drink the coffee while laying in bed and watching weather and news, then pull self out of bed.

i would NOT want to still have to MAKE the coffee. I just want to REACH out of bed and GRAB a full mug of awesome room temperature coffee thats been sitting out all night. this truly does make it a lot easier to get up. i have been doing this for years. i dont regret it one bit. i RECOMMEND it to ANYBODY.

interview was at 9 am, i got there at like 8:15, i like getting their SUPER early and prepping in the car.

actual interview was less than 30 minutes. they didnt rush me PER SE, but i got the impression there were other people waiting. plus its a part time job hahahaha. i said As You Can Imagine, my ultimate goal is a FT job with this org, would this PT person have access to The Secret Internal FT Postings? yes yes they would.

anyway thats it for this week. did not get great sleep last night. i mean i can TOTALLY get used to getting up EARLY in the morning……but it HAS to be REGULAR. i need a ROUTINE. after a few days or a week of that, i will get used to going to bed earlier and getting up at 6am, 5am. shit i got up at 6 am today to get ready for being there at 9am.

so if i got this other job that starts at 8 am, id have to get up a FIVE am every day. well especially cuz that one is further away. a whopping 14 miles away. this place today is only 4 miles away. also i get up SUPER early, ive NEVER been a sleep in as late as possible and Rush To Work in the NIck of Time. downside is that eats up valuable sleeping time.

/r/relships. i cant stop reading it, its SO ridiculous. some of it is good, some of it is fooking awful.

it DOES NOT help that 80% of the shit is by women for women. i wish there was a relship sub for men by men. it makes a big difference. cuz women dont know what theyre talking about, ever. hahahahahaha. terrible judgment, terribly wrong. WRONG. hahahaha. WRONG.

heh. the other bad thing about getting up early is, you are now awake 16 hours a day and have to figure out how to eat only 1200 calories. you are Hungry More because you are too used to Sleeping through those hours when you are hungry. like its 11am and i am STARVING even though I had some Cereal around 7 am. 350 calories. shit. 390 calories cereal and milk.

degree in account, masters in taxation, cpa. this is fooking AWESOME. i hear the masters in tax is one of the better masters you can get. this guy formerly worked with a well known accounting firm for 5 years. kinda surprised he is working where he is now. youd think it would be beneath him.

now he did not go to a name school………but the school he went to is actually kinda well regarded for accounting. which is exactly what he did. why didnt i choose that life hahahahaha.

i just saw him and i was like WHOA this guys the CONTROLLER? hes a KID!!!!!!!!!!

I guess there is Financial Director who is one step above him though.

see the stupid women would say this si just fine, stop trying to control her, you jealous abuser.

not even seeing that essentially the male FWB rejected her because SHE wanted MORE, and now they’re still just friends and hang out and talk constantly.

DONT SUCK A GUYS DICK ON THE THRID DATE!!!!! THATS DEGENERATE!!!! NIHILISTIC!!!!!!!!!

that was a different one hehehe.

its not INTENTIONALLY nihilistic. i mean they think its about FUN and who knows this might turn out to be the one, but lets just have some spontaneous fun in the moment.

fun fun fun fun fun fun fun. all about fun. muh dick.

i mean yeah its HEDONISM not nihilism per se, but IMHO hedonism is pretty damn nihilistic at root. i mean women arent capable of understanding that, most men arent either. but all white men are capable. nto sure about white women. maybe some are capable. ive never met one hahahahaha. no thats patently false, i certainly have met decent, nonhedonistic women that werent all muh dick muh dick muh clit muh orgasms muh fun casual fwb secs.

jeff daniels looks like slavoj zizek in this movie hahahahahaha

i mean is zizek really THAT cool? probably not, folks, probably not. why the hell did i ever like him in the first place? because he spouted pseudointellectual crap. that at its core is JOOISH as hell: critical theory, frankfurt skool POISON. but he made getting a phd in philosophy seem really Sexy to a 21 year old.

SIXTY dollars to see nick cave? thats almost as bad as fifty dollars to see morrissey. but i like nick cave a lot better. but thank god i have already had the PRIVILEGE of seeing nick cave. not many people can say that hahahahaha. and it was an even more outstanding show than you would expect. i almost DONT want to see him again because that is a high standard to exceed. also i dont really like his new album. but i should see him just to see him right? but 60 bucks? damn.

imean if it were tom waits I totally would. or neil young, in a theater of this size, with crazy horse for SURE, and hopefully less than 60 bucks.

not many people on muh bucket list. maybe bob dylan but thats a big maybe.

well tom petty would be nice. yeah id go see him. but prob not for 60 bucks. or in a gay ass outdoor theater full of drunk trash.

who else. maybe some black metal. or metal in general. judas priest, iron maiden, never saw them, missed shows by both in the past year, too lazy. i mean i had the TIME!

yeah i would pay 80 bucks to see darkthrone hahaha. or varg vikernes. or muh buddy mikko.

anyway.

i might have been ok with casual secs if i had ever had any sort of FWB thing work out. for example, women2004 and 2005, they just wanted casual dating ie secs ie casual FUN. I was like NO i want a serious rel so they dumped me because they didnt WANT a serious rel.  BUT I could have gotten a LOT of secs out of them if I had just said lets keep it casual. so in hindsight i wish i had done that, just so i could have had a lot of secs with some qt young gurls. instead i had secs like 2 times. better than nothing but still.

i mean theyre not horrible people for wanting what they want and rejecting me because i wasnt that. well, beyond the fact that what they wanted is………….pretty degenerate. but then again, some of my wants are pretty degen too, like wanting to smoke MJ, or being open to casual secs. (but not actively seeking it out.)

but i am so inexperienced with secs, that i automatically confuse secs with feelings.

THIS ISNT REALLY “CONFUSION!” ITS THE NATURAL WAY! IT IS RIGHT AND JUST AND NORMAL!!! WHATS NOT NORMAL IS THE PEOPLE WHO TRY TO UNTANGLE THEM!!!!!

DO NOT SEPARATE WHAT THE LORD HAS BOUND TOGETHER!!! hahahaha.

or, DONT SEPARATE THINGS THAT SHOULDNT BE SEPARATED!!!!!!!!! if you prefer that.

young girls wanting casual sex, and old men wanting serious feelings secs.

SEX IS INHERENTLY INTIMATE, IT IS BAD TO TRY TO MAKE IT CASUAL. IT CANT BE CASUAL.

that ultimately is the END OF DISCUSSION.

so yeah me and these women had Incompatible Values.

AND they made an EFFORT to give me Common Courtesy and Respect when they Dumped me! they made an effort not to add insult to injury! so i appreciate that now.

DONT ADD INSULT TO INJURY!!!!!!!!

maybe i should become a Christian Counselor. there are tons of them. is it any easier than becoming a Non Religious Counselor? as far as degrees, licensing, etc.

i cant see it being any easier getting a license from the state, but i could be wrong.

if youre being charged with a heinous crime, WHY NOT perjure yourself rather than taking the 5th amendment hahahaha.  just watching law and order. i guess this show could inspire a young person to become a cop or a lawyer.

anyway i never stalked her. dont know why i have to PROVE this. i guess because the women of reddit would say that sending emails is STALKING.

yeah ok i DID send probably too many emails, but after a month of that, I was DONE. FINISHED. COMPLETELY.

I sent 4 emails in 1 month. 3 of them were pretty long. does that make me an evil stalker? no it just makes me sad and desperate and pathetic.

also if she had said stop sending me emails, i probably would have hahahahaha. or maybe just sent one more hahahaha.

the worst i did was crane my neck to try to look for her car in the parking lot of her workplace as i drove by the workplace which was ON the most direct route to my destination. and if i get that job then i wont go 2 miles out of my way just to NOT drive by that other place every day. i might even crane my neck again. but its not like im pulling into the parking lot and sitting there waiting for her!!!!! that WOULD be creepy!!! i dont WANT to be a creep! but also women think everything is creepy. plus i can totally understand why men do creepy things.

anyway. i guess i would like sluts more if i had more benefits from those sluts. but really womens Sexual Desire has led them away from boring old me. I am always at odds with Female Sexual Desire, Fighting it, trying to keep it from straying away from me, trying to hold on to it.

yeah i guess i am TRYING too hard. you should have to TRY this hard to “maintain somebodys interest” in you.

but yeah i am now done with my week o interviews and can start applying to jobs again hahahaha.

i mean TWO of these three jobs I would REALLY like. these are some strong jobs to get your hopes up for.

how have i never seen this dark haired woman cop on law and order. she is very attractive, would bang/10. but is she jooish? this is like early 2000s, she is partner with black male cop, hopefully doesnt mudshark with him, sam waterston is still the DA. i think this is just Straight Up Regular Law and Order, not SVU or any of that.

milena govich. obvious a yugo sort of name. potentially jooish. wiki says serbian (and scottish.) well yeah the NAME is SERBIAN, just like STEIN is GERMAN. thats not what Im ASKING hahahahahahahaha.

2006-7, det nina cassidy.

i just dont know. i think she is a goy but you never know with these sneaky J’s, ive been fooled before. i would casually bang her while waiting for the 23 and me results HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

YES I have a FILTER, I know what things you should and should not say around WOMEN. I wouldnt say ANYTHING I say on here around women.

but yeah i dont want to be a creep, or a niceguy, or an abuser, or the jealous type, or a controller, or any of that stuff. but maybe i AM ok with being a “woman hater” hahahaha i mean how can any woke man not be hahahaha.

maybe i like proving to them that i have good enough social skills so they cant slander me as creepy. i dont say or do inappropriate things, but my god do i judge the hell out of women when they are not around.

and i dont feel bad about judging women. i dont mind being called a Woman JUDGER!!!!!! i mean thats what i do, i judge women!!!!!!

but in the social world, I treat them with respect. EVEN IF THEY DONT DESERVE IT!!!!! i really wouldnt treat ANYONE with disrespect until after they treated ME with disrespect.

i mean everyone makes mistakes, even That Woman doesnt deserve to be hurt even though she hurt me, because she didnt have intent, and even if she DID, it would still be better karma for me to just Let It Go, and no i dont want her to get hurt really bad. i mean i would like her to learn a lesson. but she was just stupid and weak, i was stupid and weak, and ultimately i was the one who got hurt more, a lot more.

now i mean feel different about someone who did something MORE hostile and intentional, like cheating or accusing me of abuse or something. totally lying and betraying me.

i dont do sketchy or bad shit with women. i dont DO anything really immoral. the most immoral i get is have JUDGEY THOUGHTS. i dont have thoughts about hurting or abusing or mistreating women. I just have thoughts of jdugement and disgust and contempt. but i dont ACT on these thoughts! I try not to do ANY immoral actions! because MORALITY is VERY VERY IMPORTANT to me!!!!!!!

1200 CALORIE DIET!!!!!

i guarantee you. if you eat only 1200 calories a day, you WILL lose weight even without exercise.

you will also be hungry at all times.

well some say 1200 for women, 1800 for men. that 1200 is the absolutely healthy minimum for WOMEN, who need less calories than men anyway.

so maybe 1200 is not even Healthy For Me. well, moot point now that I blew right by it by 150 calories and also today is muh cheat day too and i will be eating again later!

 

 

incel neet virgin 26 year old brother is resentful of his 20 year old NORMIE brother who can get a GF hehehehe. reddit shames the incel neet as a creepy woman hater, anyone who “unironically uses the word NORMIE after high school” is one of these hahaha.

now i dont MIND being friends with women like this guy seems to……but im not sure having Women Friends makes you any more likely to make a woman want to Be With you in a secsy way. you just get the friendzone hahahahahahahahaha. you can relate to women as human beings to your hearts content….in the friendzone hahahaha.  but yeah i guess i’ll admit that when you have a woman friend, it DOES make them seem more human, less alien, more knowable. but it makes all the more THIRSTY for a gf too. because youre like well now i actually KNOW a woman, this isnt so bad! but now I REALLY REALLY REALLY want a GF! I had forgotten what its like to even be NEAR a woman and to have a woman show ANY INTEREST in me! it feels good and i want what the NORMIES have!

anyway i am not as bad as that guys brother. i can control myself around women at least and dont do anything really creepy. plus i had secs once 12 years ago with the help of alcohol hahahahahahaha.

the first time he saw a tit? hasnt he ever watched jooish porn? not that i recommend it.

does he have a JOB? is he EMPLOYED? surprised this was never mentioned by the commenters. probably not, hes prob a damn neet.

i mean just like having a gf or at least a fwb is the litmus test of a NORMIE, so is having an at least average job. making at least 13 bucks an hour.

well, we did have some incels making 15 an hour at my last job hahahaha.

reddit. a bunch of damn degenerate nonvirgins SHAMING the morally superior virgins and calling them creepy and disturbed and elliott rodger, just because they dont fook like a bunch of NEGROES hahahahahaha.

these “social nerds” are an interesting bunch, i knew a lot in university. they were “weird” and “anti establishment” and “non conformist” but they were FAR from social outcasts, and had a ton of friends, and GF’s, sex experience, Relship experience, all from a young age, and turned out being successful normies with wives and children hahahahahaha.

NORMIES.

DIRTY NONVIRGIN NORMIES hahahahahaha.

PIGS, DOGS, DISGUSTING ANIMALS hahahahahahahaha.

” He’ll never figure out how to get a girlfriend until he starts treating women like people rather than games that you have to win to get romance and sex. ”  hehehehe but……….its that accurate? except they are not as fun or easy as a game. its a frustrating sick game.

well not even. the “game”, as designed by god/nature, its not sick. its sensible, and technically fair. it’s not pretty though. and it REALLY sucks to be on the losing end. and it REALLY sucks when Women Deny Their Privilege.

i guess thats just like ME denying WHITE privilege and MALE privilege, huh????????????????????

so……..if i can acknowledge that privilege exists, specifically FEMALE privilege…………….

……….does it not follow that its POSSIBLE that OTHER kinds of privilege exist?

and that I might benefit from it?

but, like women, I spit in its face and deny it?

so i dislike women who do the same thing I am doing?

yeah but i believe women DO have certain advantages/privileges in the mating game. i mean SOME men have their own privileges here….but not most men.

also, my idea of Female Privilege in the Mating Game comes from a pretty Traditionalist, Reactionary, Alt Right, Rightist, NON MARXIST way of thinking.

Ideas about White Privilege and Male Privilege, that all comes from MARXIST BULLSHIT.

they are all saying what a horrifying, dark, awful place the incel sub is. i dont doubt that its DARK, and i dont want to link to it or even READ it because Im sure its very negative……..but dont say these are awful people. youd be this way too if you were a hugless virgin neet incel who CANT EVEN GET IN THE FRIENDZONE hahahahaha.

note: i never use the word friendzone seriously. its impossible for me to “get put in” the friendzone. i will just say, baby, i dont want to be just friends, lets take a time out here. or thats what i would say if they agreed to talk to me hahahaha.

im perfectly fine being friends with women IF I dont want anything more. AND IF THEY dont want anything more. not that ive ever experienced that. but god damn. i know women are HUMANS.

just like negros and joos and mudslims are humans too, hahahahahahahahahahaha.

no, white women rank above all of those, hahahahahahaha.

but yeah its just heartbreaking when a woman you like would rather hang out with CHEATERS, DRUG ADDICTS, DRUNKS, DEADBEATS, ABUSERS, and NEGROES, rather than hang out with YOU.

ive certainly linked this album before. a few posts ago. it def has its place. right now i am drawing attention to 3:34, “summer of the diabolical holocaust”. “natassja in eternal sleep” is such a strong, timeless opener, that i sometimes forget the next song is just as strong.

again, good headphones and ideally good speakers, played LOUD, for maximum effect, considering the ridiculous production. note the insane distorted bass sound and drum sound, esp the floor tom. ridiculous celtic frost riff in the middle here, with ridiculous “solo” on top of it.

the guitar tone kinda sucks on this album….kind of. but i wouldnt change it either!

and TED’s vokills are possibly his best ever. truly literally a man possessed here.

i would say turn it up LOUD and DEFINITELY smoke a huge MJ to this one, get nice and blazed. oh god. wish i could.

and then cuddle up with nice waifu while doing that.

well, for that, we would just listen to one song, while I Mansplained the significance of the music. listening to the whole album with a grill would be pretty weird. metal grills are huge immoral sluts anyway. degen nihilists hahaha.

hard to believe they were only like 21 when doing this album. to make an album that you just appreciate more and more as you get older. into your Mid Thirties.

I think i was familiar with this album when I was 21, or at least close to it. I liked it……but I didnt GET it as much as I do now.

like i certainly dont like other albums LIKE this.

anyway yeah great album for the Turning Of Seasons, like when its really becoming Fall/Autumn. definitely some magic in this album.

but yeah you DO need to listen to it LOUD. it Literally sounds better that way.

it is amazing how much Variation and Diversity there is in darkthrone. UAFM and TH are both super freezing cold black metal albums, but they sound fairly different. i guess a big thing is that the tempo and rhythm NEVER change on TH, and on other DT albums, they change in every song.

yeah theres a damn good reason DT is a such a NAME.

heh these reddit nonvirgin normies shaming the virgins. there answer for everything is “DUDE NEEDS HELP.” WOW. JUST…..I CANT EVEN. YASSSS. HE NEEDS THERAPY. THERAPY PROBABLY WOULDNT EVEN HELP HIM. HE NEEDS TO KEEP TRYING THERAPISTS TILL HE FIND SOMEONE WHO WORKS. HIS ONLY CHANCE IS A LIFE OF THERAPY IF HE EVER WANTS A GF……….AND EVEN THEN IT PROB WONT WORK. CUZ HES TOO TOXIC AND NEGATIVE AND WEIRD AND CREEPY AND RAPEY AND JUDGEY. EW. UGH. GROSS. NOT OK. HE NEEDS A LOT OF HELP.

Yeah i agree he probably does need some help but i dont think its hopeless. these are exactly the type of guys i would want to help. with my unlicensed christian therapy group. we would go out and grab women by the pvssy and call them fat pigs, slobs, dogs, and disgusting animals. hahahahahahahahaha.

hey might as well listen to TH right after UAFM. now theres an experience you should be grateful for.

heh. I remember I bought TH on CD and that was one of muh first serious black metal albums. that, burzum debut, emperor “nightside eclipse”, burzum HLTO, DT panzerfaust. i picked some good ones for babbys first black metal albums eh? but i remember seeing phil anselmo in a pantera picture wearing a DT TH t shirt and i was like whoa that looks hardcore hahahaha what does that logo even say???

and then i bought the cd and mainly liked the first song and was like why isnt the rest of the album as good, i mean its a really simple formula.

but then it really grows on you hahahaha. and then it becomes one of your desert island best black metal albums of all time.

when i was a young angry virgin, i might have thought DT understood my hateful, sorrowful feels hahahaha. when really they were a bunch of HEDONISTIC, DEGEN NORMIE NONVIRGINS, smoking MJ and partying and getting with SLUTS. more like NORMIETHRONE amirite????

anyway, yeah i guess if all you listen to is TH, its easy to think DT is a fairly “ATMOSPHERIC” BM band, but they really arent hahaha. they are more of celtic frost beer chugging normies.

but yeah its timeless, beautiful stuff you will CHERISH the rest of your life. when i get married to my pure virgin white waifu, I will play nothing but BLACK METAL at the reception hahahaha. totally make it all about me and everyone else can suck my dick, im gonna play like 8 hours of straight black metal at my wedding hahahahaha.

no but i mean i have to play at least one black metal song. but what the hell would it be? i mean it would be burzum or darkthrone. maybe I should just play TWO black metal songs.  transilvanian hunger and jesus dod. hahaha.

well i was invited to a social thing tomorrow and i decided to Just Say Yes because this is EXACTLY the type of thing I should say YES to, so i did. its exactly because i dont go to things, that i dont get invited to things any more….so kinda want to break that pattern.

oct 27

ive always liked sitting down and writing about muh self and muh feels, total narcissist, but unfort i think this has helped CAUSE some of my issues, because i always take the wrong lesson, or get in too negative of an attitude. the women thing is the perfect example. writing here i sound like incel virgin maniac r9k elliot rodger, but i am not really like that in real life!!!! at worst i am socially anxious and shy, but never super creepy or weird! i am even nice and nonjudgmental to total trashy sluts, i just see them as people who have had hard, unlucky lives, had their good noble nature nurtured out of them, its not their faultttttttttttt. basically i will treat people well until they treat me badly. even if they are a dirty slut. until them being a dirty slut directly hurts ME, I will be nice to them.

(soundcloud giving errors, deleted link. google fenriz radio soundcloud.)

oh here is fenriz’s radio show, archive of many of them, actually doesnt sound horrible hahahahaha. i mean i am kinda jealous of his ability to enjoy new music at 45 years of age, my mind is pretty much closed to all that. i still want him to have a family. find a decent wife and have some kids. shit he can still listen to metal. he talks about listening to metal 16 hours a day or something. im not even AWAKE 16 hours a day! now a family man needs to be awake 23 hours a day working and providing and protecting and securing, but working fathers can still have interests and hobbies, he could still listen to his precious metal hahahahaha.

well i do like documentaries and here is one on peste noire. who i like because famine is a fairly right wing douchebag who hates foreigners. and i like a couple of his songs. and i want to determine how right wing and nationalist he really is. of course, i think he needs to stop drinking and living a degen lifestyle, be more like varg!!!

look at this handsome white man, in beautiful nature. this is what we SHOULD think of when we think of FRANCE…..not a jooified degenerate brown hellhole that france is turning into. famine does drink too much and should stop drinking and have children tho. although i thought it was hilarious that he made an obnoxious fart joke hahahaha. showing what he thinks of these media k1kes hahahaha. well really i dont know anything about the makers of this film.

i know weev gets lots of demand from the k1k3 media for interviews, but he straight up tells them, fook off and die k1k3, im not giving you an interview unless you pay me a lot of money, you can look up stuff ive said on the internet. PAY ME if you want to talk to me. and my rate is not cheap. im taking my pound of flesh back from you vampires. this is a great way to be. so i hope the people that made this doc were either not corrupt “skypes”, or they paid famine decent money to talk to them. i do believe famine, degen farting drinker he may be, but i think he still has artistic integrity hahahaha.

 

 

new vidya where varg talks about fenriz. he says a lot of good things about fenriz, that he is smart, funny, charming, easy to like, friendly. he says he is one of the smartest most intelligent people he met back in the day. and also that he is very honorable and ethical and tries to do the right thing and be an honorable man. but that his tragic flaw is that he drinks too much and this might compromise him.

now varg is talking about fenriz 25 years ago. but as a 20 year old man, whenever young varg met young fenriz, fenriz was always drinking beer and getting drunk. so i can totally relate with that. whenever I was socializing at around that age, i was drinking.

varg says fenriz is a good man but he hopes he has cut down on the drinking. i would agree because drinking too much is never good. and if you have ever seen videos of fenriz, he is often drinking in them. so yeah i hope he is not a Full Blown Alcoholic. i dont think he is because uhhhh he would have ruined his life by now. lost his job at the post office, stopped doing albums, in and out of rehab or jail, plus he looks fairly healthy.

so yeah i think hes got it under control but i cant help agree with varg that alcohol clouds your judgement.

i am kinda in between varg and fenriz then! i started out more fenrizy and am becoming more vargy. but yeah i always got the impression that fenriz was a decent True Blue Cobber sort of guy, and I  am glad to hear Varg saying so, as Varg seems to be the same way. Morality Matters.

I know fenriz was in a deep depression for a few years…..did he drink more during that time? how did he come out of it? how does he keep from going back? what kind of women and people does he hang out with? he seems pretty social. how much does he really drink? why did his marriage end? was that related to his depression?

these are the important questions to me hahahahaha.

but yeah i cant help but feel he is capable of even more, that he IS a truly smart and moral man, and it would be GREAT if he stepped up the same way varg has, get a nice white wife and have 6 white children, but he just hasn’t made that Leap into Political, Religious, and Metaphysical Thinking. And I know that Drinking can hold you back from doing that. So I cant help but want to have fenriz stop drinking for like a year, cold turkey, and see what changes happen. I think he is totally CAPABLE of doing this.

interesting that varg is making this video though. why not just contact fenriz and be like hey ole buddy lets hang out and get caught up.

but i dont think varg and fenriz were super besties either. but fenriz was probably the black metal guy varg liked the most. they definitely like each other hahaha. and it sounds like culto did not hang out much because he didnt like the people. varg didnt much like the people. fenriz is a good guy who got along with everyone.

so who WERE vargs friends? people not into black metal. what were these people like? whats vargs rel like with HIS father and his brother?

so many questions hahahaha.

anyway i think a varg fenriz meeting now would be very productive for them both. and i think varg could push fenriz to realize his full potential. this is the fanfic movie I would make hahahahaha.

like my fanfic sequel to the big lebowski that redeems the classic characters into nondegenerates hahaha.

or my fanfic sequel to king of the hill, 10+ years later, where bobby is like 30 years old in Current Year.

hahahahahahahahahaha.

so i am tempted to post a comment on vargs video to encourage him to Reach Out to Fenriz.

thing is, Fenriz is totally in his Comfort Zone. he’s happy doing what he’s doing.

i dunno. i just like proselytizing Traditional Family Values to All White People. I see a good white man who i think would be a good father, and I think it’s a SHAME that he DOESNT Leave a Legacy. And I’m not talking about timeless music or even The Fame Of A Dead Man’s Deeds!

cattle may die, Kinsmen may die, sure, but just as fame of dead mens deeds don’t die, so do kinsmens kinsmens kinsmens kin dont die hahahahahahahahahahahahaha.

varg with his 6000000 children could speak to this better than I could. but see i am sold on this way of life way more than i am on fenriz’s. and i mean that in the nicest possible way to fenriz. im not judging him as a Degen Nihilist Slut Negro Mentality.

hey maybe fenriz thinks he would be a bad father.

i mean shit i KNOW i would be a terrible father because i cant even take care of MYSELF. but i might have POTENTIAL to BECOME good father material, i think all white men do. and i think fenriz has enough money. i am SURE many of his colleagues at the post office have children! also i would totally support him doing one sell out show of darkthrone to make money for his family!

i mean nocturno CULTO has children for gods sakes. mr hateful culto who doesnt like anybody managed to get woma/en to birth two children for him.

now i do think that deadbeat fathers are like that simply because they had children when they WERENT READY. but i do believe that ALL white men are capable of becoming ready to be good fathers. that these deadbeat fathers could have one day been good fathers if they just KEPT IT IN THEIR PANTS and didnt bang sluts without a rubber when they were too young to handle a kid. typcal N behavior hahahaha.

like i WOULD LIKE to be a good father someday, but if i had a child right now with some white trash slut, i would run away like a coward. i cant take care of a child!

and this is totally understandable at 20…..much less understandable at 30.

a LOT is SUPPOSED to happen between 20 and 30. but for me it really DIDNT. because YOU are supposed to MAKE that stuff happen with a LOT of Hard Work, effort, energy, and agency! it doesnt just HAPPEN on its own!

i didnt realize that until i was 30 hahahaha. well ok, maybe 26 hahahaha. well, i always KNEW it but ran away from that responsibility by drinking until i was 26.  sheeeeeeeit kinda wish i had gotten Busted a few years earlier! 22, 23, that would have been great year to stop drinking hehee.

and yet I STILL want to do MJ!!! it clouds your mind in a diff way than alcohol…….but it definitely clouds your mind! impairs your judgment in all things!

bbbbbbut my mind is clouded ANYWAY with hate and despair and fear and worry and anxiety and bad negative attitude and feels and r9k and incel and foreveralone and entitlement and elliot rodger and the red pill and niceguytm and K all normies and all that hahaha. at least being clouded with MJ or alcohol is a step up in terms of being more pleasant and positive!

ayo hol up hol up. so ALCOHOL would be POSITIVE?

MJ would be POSITIVE but ALCOHOL isn’t?

everythings a damn slippery slope hahaha.

well honestly i have no or very little desire to drink alcohol, it just doesnt APPEAL to me.

MJ on the other hand, APPEALS to me like none other.

what would fenriz do? drink beer, PROBABLY smoke some MJ, listen to metal, and have fun.

what would varg do? drink non-alcoholic beer, work on his russian lada car, make videos with not-his-best ambient music in the background hahahahahaha and proudly parade his beautiful children and live out the 14 words. and judge degenerates as degenerate. i mean yeah thats really appealing too!

but he’s not a neet virgin see! he’s a PRINCIPLED MAN, an honorable strong alpha man, with nice wife and a HORDE of beautiful blond blue eyed aryan children!!!!!!! he gets to BE autistic and live in isolation……with his young wife and 6 kids!!!!!!!! BIG difference between that and a neet basement dweller virgin! varg has had secs 6 times hahahahahahaha.

well these men are entitled to their privacy. im actually shocked that varg has Opened Himself Up so much to the world. I’m happy, because he sets a GREAT example, but he’s compromising his own privacy in a way I thought he never would.

maybe i should attempt to get an interview with FENRIZ, because he supposedly does hundreds of interviews whenever they do a new album. so my interview with fenriz will include all those questions about his personal life: his ex wife the artist, his GF’s, his FWB’s, his normie friends, his job, his family, his drinking, what he thinks about MJ, why doesnt culto scream like he used to, why is there one classic song on their new album but the rest is kinda meh, why dont you want kids, here’s why you should have kids, here’s why you should should go and hang out with varg and his family for a week, heres why you should quit drinking for a year and just see what happens, here’s why you need to pass on your damn genes and not just your music. you are SO CLOSE. have a rea come to jesus talk with him.

you can still do your radio show. i might even start listening to your radio show. you can still listen to metal. wouldnt you like a family to share your metal with hahahahaha.

is it he cant find a good woman? i doubt that. or does he just prefer sluts because muh dick? well he needs to get out of that muh dick mindset!

whats better, to be a muh dick white negro, or a hateful neet incel elliott rodger KV who cant even pull SLUTS?????

its honestly worst to be the neet virgin! then youre WORSE THAN A NEGRO!!!!! ME!!!! Thats where I am right now!

the PRINCIPLED, MORAL white man is worse than a degen muh dick negro, “simply” because this particular principled moral white man is also a neet loser virgin!!!!!!!! that is muh trump card!

so when fenriz was 21 he was still working at the post office (prob full time) and would get off his shift, buy a case of beer, and come over and hang out at euronymous’s shop and drink the beer, according to varg. i mean not that thats not a credible story!

basically, fenriz was able to live the life of a 21 year old normie: FT job like an adult, but also partying, socializing, drinking, having friends, probably GF’s, AND being in a band and making tons of music. classic, timeless music that will never die. while also being Sorta Immature and Drinking a Little Too Much, like a 21 year old man in his Party Phase.

so yeah i cant relate to that AT ALL, because I have so little experience in successfully working a FT job or being a normie. when he drank he did it right, when i drank i did it wrong. basically these were NORMIES!!!!!!

that is a weird thought, that the kvlt black metal guys i like are just more damn NORMIES. NORMIES GONNA NORM.

i am triggering the shit out of leftist reddist phaggots, who hate the term normies, cuz only niceguy broken men entitled incel r9k neets use the word. shit yeah.

and VARG is essentially a normie because he was hanging out with GRILLS from a proper age.

fenriz got grills, varg got grills, shit even euronymous probably got slutty grills hahahahaha.

you know who didnt get grills? probably dead. well, maybe he got one grill, got his heart broke, then K’d himself hahahaha. [pure speculation]

i hear that dead was a truly weird, lonely soul, not of this world…….and also that he was  a real nice sweet sensitive guy. im sure it was closer to the latter.  and then of course you try to add the grim early 90s norwegian black metal SPIN to that, and he becomes a twisted, dark, cold, lonely, hateful soul, one with death hahahaha.

maybe fenriz should have helped him learn Game to Game those white sluts hahahaha. or he could have gotten euronymous’s sloppy seconds.

but thats the thing about neet virgins…..THEY (we) CANT EVEN PULL DIRTY SLOPPY SECONDS SLUTS!!!!!!!!!!

so that is really a confidence killer!!!!!! the worst, easiest women dont even want us for a roll in the hay!

i mean i dont really care about “the scene”……………….but I do really like burzum and darkthrone, who were huge figures in “the scene”, so there you go. plus they are all interesting PEOPLE with interesting STORIES. and to top it all off, they made actually interesting music. and they continue to be interesting people 25 years later…..even if their music is less interesting.

so yeah. varg fenriz reunion nao.

rej email from 17 an hour county clerical job. SHEEEEEEEEEEEEEIT. i mean 17 dollars, 34k, thats WITHIN REACH for me a lot more than a goddam 40k job. so a rejection from a 34k job actually stings MORE than a rej from a 40k job.

at least for a 24k job, i could convince myself that they rej me because I was “overqualified.”

not so much for a 34k job. thats right in that sweet spot. i mean my glassdoor market value is 35k! the FEDGOV technically COULD pay me 34k as well!

really, I shouldnt apply for jobs MORE than 34k, and I honestly try NOT to……….

but most jobs are far above or far below 34k!!!!!!!!

slow genocide of the Middle Class hahahaha. hollowing out of the middle. the 34k’ers.

i mean i just want to make the average wage of my state/region/area, which is AROUND 13 dollars an hour, 26k a year. anything more is a BLESSING.

also, why do companies do Massive Layoffs, when they could just do Massive Pay Cuts instead? then people could keep their jobs at least, and there will absolutely be unhappy people who will quit voluntary. more cost savings there goy.  so yeah i dont understand why companies will just cut jobs entirely when they COULD just cut wages.

or CANT they. because the numbers dont crunch out that way.  you dont save enough MONEY by just cutting WAGES, you HAVE to cut JOBS if you want to save enough MONEY.

hmm apparently you cant buy gift cards online at gift card granny where you can save 5% or more off the face value. not a bad deal. like get a 25 dollar gift card for 23 dollars. not bad if you are looking to buy some gift cards……which i am!

maybe fenriz doesnt WANT to have kids ok? maybe hes happy with his life just the way it is!!!!

i mean not everyone WANTS to have kids!

yeah but a lot of people DO.

and the white race is kind of at a precarious position right now. so that if you care about the white race AT ALL (and I most certainly DO!!!!) then its kinda your DUTY to have kids. ESPECIALLY if you are of means.

and if you are NOT of means?

then GET of means ASAP mother fooker, because we are having a RACE WAR!!!!!!!!!!

otto skorzeny did not move to the US and was not your GF’s grandfather bro! he moved to spain and or ireland and even worked with the mossad for a bit.

listen to this good goy. 6 million jooz murdered by the n4z15 in the h010c4u5t. sounds like a wacky conspiracy theory tinfoil hat guy hahahahaha.

travel channel show. that old man you met was NOT otto skorzeny. how could you believe he was.

so yeah doing fun social thing today, which is not something i usually do, which is a step in the right direction for me. just be nice and smile and say thank you. baby steps. dont even worry about keeping up with Witty Banter. to me its always like a competition, who can do the wittiest banter, but thats not REALLY what it is, its just people who enjoy doing witty banter with each other and it comes very easily and naturally. only for me is it such a challenging competition! they dont care that im not the wittiest!

for a brief window of time, when i was about 21 or 22, i was kinda a social drunk fenriz character. i hung out a lot, also drank a lot, and had some small measure of charisma or celebrity. a lot of it was a bad reputation as a drunken wildman who said ridiculous things. NOT the type of thing I want to be remembered for. yet it was interesting having some amount of “popularity”.  probably the closest i got to being a normie. was able to parlay it into casual flings with two casual gurls. then my 15 minutes of fame were OVER.  and IMHO I wasted it drinking and being ridiculous and I was largely misunderstood. i would rather be remembered as a Nice, Moral, Honorable Man, than some Salty Loose Cannon Drunk Crank.

 

HOW DO YOU EAT A SH1T ELEPHANT

aim for 5-6000 words hahahaha

oct 15

yeah i really need to do more STRENUOUS exercise like running and also lifting. at LEAST do MOAR pushups.

had some terrible experience with the qualcomm atheros ar986x or whatever wireless adapter, at least i THINK the prob is there, and not with windows 10, or both, i mean i want a permanent fix here.

https://www.qualcomm.com/drivers

hahahahahahahahaha qualcomm does not offer drivers to users, you have to go to the OEM

anyway i tried installing what turned out to be an “unofficial” qualcomm driver, couldnt figure it out….i dont think? and then eventually ROLLED BACK to a previous driver which paradoxically had a higher number, but that might not mean what i think it means, and since one does not simply get clear explanations with ANYTHING tech related, i just accepted the god damn “fix”.

i should have just accepted that when you work in tech support, one does not simply explain things. you can either explain shit or FIX it, and it takes 10000000000000000000000000000000000000 times longer to explain it. its actually NORMAL for there to be no explanations, because it COST 9999999999999999999999999999 times more to explain shit than to fix it.

well that begs the question……….how do you FIX something if you dont fully understand it?

well, you just do Root Cause and fix the root cause and see if the problem stops. you dont necessarily know how things got from root cause to broken.

and i dont know how to root cause because level 1 doesnt do that.

heh. probably the level 2 and 3s who DO do root cause havent been trained on it EITHER. dont know the best practices of root causing. just trial and error. throw spaghetti at the wall. same as level 1 does. just CALL it root cause and wait to be proven wrong.

people posting job postings talking about HIPAA should KNOW its spelled HIPAA NOT HIPPA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

managed to apply to three jobs today. again used the card game as my safeguard or buffer, my way of “holding my nose” and just doing it. music is another way of doing this.

had card game going on right side of screen, had browser open in top left, and then word document or spreadsheet in lower left. really need 2 monitors for this type of thing.  sheeeeit ill pay for my own monitor. and then donate it to the company. liek when i bought a new coffee machine at my old job and left it there when i left.

oh the one place is a hot shit accounting firm and they want Top Talent so they wont look at muh clunky cover letter.  be like motherfooker i went to top skool hahahahahaha.

hey i think i do a pretty good job during interviews covering up the fact that i have crippling, debilitating anxiety hahahaha, and just come across as having a normie level of nervousness.  and at muh last job i lasted a full year despite it taking a huge toll on me. i SURVIVED and WITHSTOOD. so just give me a damn CHANCE and HIRE me already.

i mean i was not healthy but i survived the anxiety a lot longer that you or me would THINK, i never ACTUALLY ran out of there crying and panicking, and i would have lasted a bit longer if SHE hadnt been there, and if i had smoked more MJ hehehehe.

but if she HADNT been there, would i have been able to survive the first few months?

i just cant say. she DID give me some moral support at that time, but I think that even more important was the technical support I got from the more experienced people around me. when i was panicking and didnt know what to do, they could sometimes help me out a little.

heh i have literally not lost any weight in 2 weeks. i have stayed 135.6 pounds for the past 2 weeks. yeah thats just fine but i want to get to 130. when you are a 5’7″ manlet, that is not as ridic as it sounds.

heh. i shouldnt have sent her 3 emails. 3 fookin long emails. at the most i should have sent her 1 short email saying dont dump me like this, ill pay for a shrink who can help you dump me in a nicer way, tell me our relship meant something and that i am not a piece of garbage and that you wish me well, i wish you well, thanks for the memories, the end.

ok i tech qualify for gs 07 govt paygrade, which starts at 31k. that is like 15.50 an hour. i qual bc i have “superior academic achievement” of over 3.0 GPA hahahaha.

so this is kinda good, it tells me FEDGOV thinks i am worth 31k a year bitches.

and if i didnt have superior acad ach, i would be GS06, which starts at 28k, which is 14 an hour, which is like average for all americans, which is GREAT.

and then 13 an hour was average for my state, so then i went down to that.

and then i said ok ill debase myself to 12 an hour because i have a long gap but not a dollar lower! even negros wont work for less than 12 an hour!

i was briefly watching this ridicul 1997 movie on BET called “higher learning”. it was quaint and stupid. omar epps from house played a young college black, being mentored in Radical Marxist Black Panthers by ice cube. none of the college kids talked like supergenius phd swpl marxists they way they do now, they sound like even bigger idiots. their poison rhetoric has gotten a lot more sophisticated in the past 19 years hehehehe.

there was a group of 1488 neo nazi skinheads with michael rapaport and cole hauser? from dazed and confused. hello sirs may you tell me more about getting a GS06 job with the FEDGOV hahahahaha. do you work for the FBI or the CIA.

and then laurence fishburne playing a Distinguished Professor with a jamaican accent hahahahahaha.

i reminded me of how things were simpler and more innocent in the 90s hahahaha. and that these college kids were just NEWBS in this SJW stuff.

not that the 90s werent nihilistic and degenerate with their marilyn manson and such hehehehe.

so michael rapaport shows hes hard enough to K a black, by shooting tyra banks. like K’ing tyra banks (omar epps gurlfran) is gonna win the RACE WAR which they also mentioned. were in a race war brothers!

if he wanted to do some real damage, he would have K’d the J’ish Marxist professors in humanities and social “sciences”, and skool diversity officers and admins.

but noooooooooooo just shoot blacks. so stupid.

managed to get 4 apps done on a saturday, not something i usually do. just by shrinking down my windows even more and having a card game up the whole time. card game is like my armour/shield against the lip curling disgust of doing the apps. holding the nose in a way to successfully Get Things Done. when you have to do 500, 600 of these goddamn apps. eating the shit elephant one shitty bite at a time.

yeah i already mentioned this but its important and bears repeating hehehehe.

its not just eating an elephant, its eating a shit elephant, because every bite fookin sucks and is painful and excruciating. and you have to do a lottttttttttttt of these bites. and you cant just do them for 8 hours straight or you will blow your brains out.

5 apps. noice. well the last one was an indeed quik apply, to a job at a tool factory in a very trashy part of town, that had been open for 25 days and had 350 applicants. and is prob 10 to 12 dollars an hour. of course they didnt say.

ok the trick to getting a medical mj card is to complain of PAIN. CHRONIC PAIN in your back or arm or neck. i am fortunate in that the one thing i dont have is chronic physical pain, but this is by far the most popular qualifying condition. despair and anxiety and insomnia and headaches arent qualifying. (well, MAYBE headaches would be.)

so go to a shady clinic with a shady doctor on doctor day, say you have chronic headaches and dont want to take opiates, and he will 75% give you approval. then you can go back in 30 days for a follow up visit to prove ongoing relship bona fides. most people dont do this and the state prob wont go after you if you dont. you think THAT WOMAN did that? hell no!

i should look this up. how many people does the state go after because they suspect they are faking their medical condition? probably not a single damn person. do you know how much MONEY that would COST?

i just really dont like the state having my name as a MJ smoker though. will endanger my career at the FBI hahahaha.

but seriously folks i am applying to a lot of FED jobs like army, air force, DoD, us attorneys, etc tho.

havent had any FED interviews hehehehe.

anyway as far as state medical MJ FRAUD, i would IMAGINE the state would use their resources to prosecute fraud on the part of DOCTORS and “caregivers”/dispensaries/SELLERS, before they would spend a penny to prosecute “PATIENTS” for Fraudulently soliciting Cards.

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

oct 16

i was thinking again about the Maximum number I would tolerate for a woman. I thought about, well, what if I were like a woman and I had Gotten With and Had Secs with every person I fancied. Then MY number would be about 8. Pretty high, huh? sure i would have gladly dated all of those women for at least a year each. AND I would have liked to be married by age 25 or 30 at the oldest.

and i am aiming for 25 year old women approx.

and also using a rule that you should not have more than 1 secs partner in a 1.5 year period. assume a 1 year relship, then 6 months to get over it.

also assume you start fooking at age 18.

so, add 2 partners for every 3 years.

so, by age 24 they should have no more than 4 men.

even THAT sounds a little high!

by age 27, 6 men.

age 30, 8 men.

age 33, 10 men.

and since i am around that age, i should have around 10 women and still non be a technical degenerate.

but 10 seems ALWAYS degenerate! plus I wanted to be MARRIED by now! and any woman should be married by 30, no exceptions!

and i would only be at 8 right now. assuming i banged ALL those women…….which is a RIDICULOUSLY big assumption. most of them didnt even have fleeting interest in me.

i was basically trying to come up with a reasonable, nondegenerate number for a 25 year old woman, so i could Manage Expectations from there.

and estimating my own number if I were a woman and could bang every person I liked. I would be at damn 8 by now. making me a huge degen slut hahahahahaha. if i were a woman.

also i have never LOST INTEREST in a woman. women lose interest in men all the time. been dating and fooking this guy for a few months, few years, just lose interest, dont feel it any more, better dump him and find a new man that makes me tingle. i just dont understand losing interest in peopel like that.

i havent lost interest in THAT WOMAN, and i havent seen or talked to her in 15 months! 450 days! im STILL interested in her!

but boy she sure lost interest in me, and now i am just a long forgotten piece of her distant past! i wish i could get over women the way they get over ME!!!!!!

i guess after “the honeymoon period” you start to lose interest. i never had that. essentially i was always dumped DURING the honeymoon period, which REALLY sucks. you never got a CHANCE to lose interest in them. and then you maintain that interest for 2 years after you were dumped. essentially turns it into a neverending honeymoon period of ridiculously prolonged pain and heartbreak.

much longer than any natural honeymoon period would last, which i guess lasts….6 months? 1 year at the most?

thinking about MJ definitely is a good replacement/substitute for thinking about HER, or WOMEN, or Hopeless and despair, or job search.

but MJ has its own set of problems.

but

AT LEAST IT HAS SOME PROS TO GO WITH ITS CONS!!!!

i mean it adds SO MUCH value. i think the cons of despair, laziness, and incoherence are WORTH IT, because I am ALREADY despairing, lazy, and incoherent!!!!!!!!!!

so i just go on Leafly and read articles about CBD and anxiety and opioids and local dispensaries and menu prices and indicas and such.

it would be GREAT if that one company in the area that i know of that deals with Medical MJ Marketing called me back for the part time data entry job i applied for hahahahahaha. i think it almost has to do with “biotech”, the CEO is a pharmacist.

this would be a GREAT industry for me to get into in other words, cnsidering my interests. except i dont necessarily want to be a “budtender” in the BLACK GHETTO hahahahahaha.

1, they prob make less than 12 an hour, 2, i could not explain that to muh fam, 3, dispensaries are kinda degen. MJ is kinda degen!!!!!!

there are NO alt right, trump supporting, right wing MJ supporters! i am kinda alone in that boat. some of the more libertarian rightists might support legalization, but certainly none of them personally enjoy partaking!

ok there is nothing in my official medical record that would support MJ card, so i have to say i have no medical records and i have chronic pain.

THEORETICALLY i could claim that the ssri meds i take cause muscle spasms and then THAT would be a qual condition.

also i cant determine how long you have to WAIT before sending the forms in, and getting your card, OR if you can just use a copy of your forms AS your card immediately. I think That Woman did the latter. ie saw the dr, signed the forms, sent forms, took copy of forms to dispensary THE SAME DAY and bought MJ.

i really dont think that is legal. my understanding is you have to wait 21 days from the day the state cashes your CHECK, and THEN you can use a copy of form IF you havent gotten Hard Card yet.

i am going to start reclaiming the word “VIRGIN” as a badge of honor, a compliment. if someone calls you virgin, say thank you.

my goal is to get virgin to be synonymous with GOOD, and “NONVIRGIN” to be synonymous with DEGENERATE, PERVERTED, SLEAZY, BAD, HORRIBLE, EVIL, WICKED, CREEPY, ABUSIVE, FOOKED UP, SHAMEFUL.

hahahaha.

shame people for being nonvirgins.

see, this is when your perspective starts getting a little weird hehehe.

i just hate that EVERY woman has “NUDES” on mens phones and computers. and it makes them feel SEXY and builds their CONFIDENCE that all these men they fook have NUDES of them. its fooking degenerate. plus i am jelly because i never got nudes of a gurl. i kinda would like to cross that off my bucket list. and somewhere out there, THAT WOMAN is sexting nudes of herself to the men shes fooking and getting INTERESTED in.

oh well. who cares. just let me buy some damn MJ already hehehe.

ok i am guessing 2019 will be the year we get recreational MJ for Adults in muh state. meaning the law will get passed in late 2018 and take effect jan 2019. cant wait hahahaha. 2 more years. the current gov and AG are against MJ.

so i would vote in leftist marxist dem state govt just to get legal MJ ???!?!?!?!?!!?

maybe hehehehe.

i mean i am very selfish because i am just trying to get thru one day at a time and fix my own problems. i dont have time for anyone else. i only care about muh family and the white race. and apparently muh MJ.  strange position to be in.

i mean i have literally been thinking about MJ much of the day for the past few days, like, damn, i really want some, why the hell DONT i just go in and see a shady doc, be like, welp i havent been to a doctor in years and i dont have any medical records, and ive been having chronic pain in my back for the past 4 months and i dont want painkillers.

i mean i COULD get medical records but theres nothing in there which SUPPORTS getting MJ, like nothign about this so called back pain hahahaha.

if i were a WOMAN id have no problem getting MJ hahahaha.

hehehehehe

im not sure if MW has ever mentioned his rumored GF, not sure if he does here, havent watched the video.

http://wasp.love/

alt right dating hahahahaha i dont see this taking off but if it does, good.

i mean if i want a traditional woman, i have to be a traditional man, and uhhhh thats prob not gonna happen unfortuantely. id like to be but DAMN you need to make a LOT of money and be REALLY successful.

so i concluded that i would be ok with a woman who had fooked maybe 5 guys by age 25.

maybe 6.

but not 7 hahahaha.

well ok maybe 7. but DEF not 8.

and honestly i dont want to go much older than 25.

MAYBE 26 hahahaha.

but not 27.

hello doctor. i havent been to a doctor in many years. i have chronic pain for the last 4-6 months. taking aspirin doesnt really help. i dont want to use opiates.

ok i really DONT deserve a good wife cuz i dont really have anything to offer. i was/am aware of this, but a good woman just sort of dropped into my life without me looking for me, knowing that i wasnt ready for one.

so it might not be inaccurate to say i raelly didnt deserve her!

well heres the thing, she had some red flags against being a top shelf good wife. if anything she would be a good match for me given my own shortcomings. the best woman i could conceivably get. of COURSE im not gonna get a woman WITHOUT Daddy Issues or who HASNT mudsharked! im a huge old neet loser, low male mate value!

anyway, point is, even if she WAS an objectively good wife material, and even though I didnt deserve her, it doesnt mean that i DESERVED to be snubbed in such a cowardly manner.

see i have to convince myself that i’m not so weak and creepy that i deserved THAT, that I got the extreme pain because I am extremely piss weak. shitty things happen to shitty people.

but really as martin luther kang said, never attribute to malice what can be attributed to simple cowardice. or ignorance.

meaning, she didnt have evil intent, OR i didnt do something horrible, OR I wasnt a horribly weak inferior person. she was just cowardly and immature. thats believable right? of course it is!!!!!

so yeah i WAS weak and didnt deserve a good women, but that doesnt mean that good women GET to be mean to me. woman2012 was a great woman and she gave a Master Class in how to dump an unworthy guy. have i said this before? hahahahahahahaha.

SHE had courage, SHE was mature, AND she was a good woman, AND I didnt deserve her, AND she still treated me with kindness and maturity.

sheeeeeeeeeit. managed to crank out some very low effort, negro style applications with indeed apply. 8 minutes then 6 minutes. all while doing the hold muh nose method of playing cards at same time. listening to boortzum also helps.

ohhjsfkhasdghj

now they actually recorded the WHOLE ALBUM but i cant find it other than on a secret link posted by the actual echo collective.

anyway they need to release that shit. i dont care if they are shitlibs examining the separattion of Good Art from Problematic, Hateful, Disturbed, AntiSemitic 1488 artist. (Note: I fully approve of and like Varg’s 1488, Pro-White, Counter-Semitic views, so I am just as Disturbed and hateful as him!!!!!) its an album with not the greatest production but i believe good songs under it all. so i welcome the chance to listen to cover version, tributes, maybe even a rerecording by varg himself hint hint.

but now he uses that NOISY synth effect which i dont really like either, its very shimmery and distorted and sounds like a laser and just doesnt fit, is like nails on a chalkboard. other than THAT, he does bretty good synths.

real low effort applications for data entry job with a law firm.

does working in a law firm mean you have to wear a different suit each day?

5 days a week times 150 dollars per suit, is 750 dollars just for Work Clothes!

then 100 dollars for 5  20 dollar dress shirts.

then like 50 dollars for an ok pair of dress shoes.

900 dollars to buy CLOTHES to work at a LAW OFFICE.

and you are making 12 dollars an hour.  you have to work 75 hours just to afford the CLOTHES you need to wear to WORK.

and with 150 dollar suits, 20 dollar shirts, and 50 dollar shoes, you are NOT gonna be on the good side of Average in a Law Office.

well the protip is, try to apply for two or more jobs at a given company in a ROW, because then you have to change less in your cover letter – just the name of the Leadership Team, and the name of the Position. dont have to change the name of the company, or Your Commitment to the company’s Mission, and save some time on your second app, and maybe appear more visible to the company. memorable. but dont apply for TOO many, then you look DESPERATE, that youre not TAILORING your job search, you dont care about FIT, you just want a job, any job, not a CAREER!!!!!! theyll find someone BETTER to give their 12 dollars an hour to!

https://www.livechatinc.com/blog/how-to-say-no-to-customers-without-making-them-angry/

this is the only article on the internet on how to say no to customers. and its not a very useful one.

google how to tell people theres nothing more we can do

most of the results are on doctors telling terminal cancer patients.

nothing on how to tell a customer, no, your problem isnt worth fixing, just live with it, it is what it is, not my problem, goodbye.

http://www.icmi.com/forums/topic59-i-want-to-speak-to-a-supervisor.aspx

i know ive linked this one before, but its worth sharing with your Level 1 Inbound Agents hahahahaha.

also we had no bulletproof way to transfer the call to another level 1, ie warm transfer and say hey this person wants to speak to a supervisor, so pretend to be a supervisor…….because all the level 1 people would be on calls,

ONE DOES NOT SIMPLY TRANSFER A CALL.

theres literally no one to transfer it TO!

so you tell them thats a very simple problem and i can fix that for you right now.

then they say, thats what the last guy said, and he struggled with this for 2 hours with no resolution or escalation, thats why im asking to speak to a supervisor.

thats actually a very simple problem, i can fix that right now.

then you take 2 hours to struggle with it hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha because its NOT a simple problem at ALL and NOBODY knows how to fix it, but they dont want to escalate it either, they jsut want the problem to GO AWAY.

http://workplace.stackexchange.com/questions/67275/how-can-i-screen-calls-when-callers-refuse-to-tell-me-the-nature-of-the-call

not really what i was looking for, but still kinda interesting, basically acting as a gatekeeper to keep sales calls from the Decision Maker, which osunds a lot less stressful than being the Tier 1 tasked with Fixing Their Shit By Any Means Necessary, with no help or escalation or training or meetings or help.

https://www.salesgravy.com/sales-articles/customer-service/rich-baker-confounding-customer-service.html

bbbbbut its TOO EXPENSIVE to give the asshole customers what they want all the time!

yeah but thats not really what hes asking either.

yeah but its too expensive to TRAIN EMPLOYEES to handle tough trick questions.

yes yes it is.

our business analysts have crunched the numbers and have determined that yes in depth training IS too expensive.

The end! It is what it is! Theres nothing more we can do!

https://www.reddit.com/r/talesfromcallcenters/

oh this is nice, did not know about this one.

NEVER AGAIN. I will never go back to a goddam call center ever again. and i had a pretty GOOD one, with fairly good callers, all internal, no general public ever. and i still couldnt handle it!!!!!!!!!

oct 18

today i learned that indeed results can only go up to page 20, which is about 4 days ago when sorted by date.

putting 50 results on each page. or is it 100? whatever the largest num is.

got in 3 apps today. 2 at a german manufacturer that has an outstanding reputation and probably treats its employees well. maybe if i tell the american HR Ditz (masters degree in HR, PHR certified (not sure if i got that cert right)) that I think Germany should have won world war 2 and i Luv Uncle Adolf, they will hire me, because all germans are nazis who love hitler and hate joos hahahahahaha. and are not cucky softies apologizing for existing until they will be diluted and drowned by Migrants.

found the full

this is a private playlist but god damn they need to RELEASE this stuff, this is too GOOD to be private. very faithful rendition of the whole album performed by Competent Musicians on Real Instruments. people should do this for all of vargs ambient/nonmetal albums. i wish thats how he recorded them. i dont like synths Approximating (sometimes poorly) real instruments. i understand varg likes his convenience. thats fine. get other people to play it, like above.

finally got to the point where i had to go back to The Indeed List. I dont know if this is good or bad.

yeah i get imposter syndrome too.

first commenter says, the shitty thing about imposter syndrome is, from the outside, its practically impossible to tell apart from the dunning kruger effect.

and if you dont know what that means, you dont deserve a 12 dollar an hour job!

dunning kruger effect means that you are way less competent than you think you are.

which is similar but different to the peter principle, where you get promoted to the point where you are no longer competent. so your most effective position would be the one below that one.

maybe if his wife abandons him he will Change and Go To Counseling and get over his impostor syndrome (overworked and underappreciated IT guy who feels in over his head and works 30 hour days)

anyway yeah i felt huge impostor syndrome too, it was VERY stressful. but i wasnt ACTUALLY incompetent, so it wasnt really dunning kruger effect. besdies with DK, you are not stressed out, youre overconfident, so id take DK ALL DAY.

if youre gonna be incompetent, be DK and not an impostor.

of course, only 50% of impostors are ACTUALLY incompetent hehehehehe.

they just underestimate and undersell themselves.

yes i well aware that THREE of the songs on “daudi baldrs” are RECYCLED on other Boortzum albums. doesnt matter. they are good songs.

there is an ask men reddit, also a mens space where men can ask questions about women and rels and life. i am just tired of hearing about womens problems, and womens stupid advice.

i mean SOME of the women have good judgment. but no more than 50% hahahaha.

men at least 60% of men have good judgment!

also men can “send good vibes” more sincerely than women can. have better intentions. are kinder. more compassionate hahaha.

like reading the tales from tech support reddit, since i have wiped alot of detailed stories from my memory of my sentence in tech support, i can use this to tune up my Tell Me About A Time When Stories.

when i came in on my day off to call customers back because i didnt have time during my regular shift, and i didnt want to leave people hanging without an explanation or follow up.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Attention_deficit_hyperactivity_disorder_predominantly_inattentive

people wiht this kind of ADHD get written off as derpressed, stupid, or lazy, instead of ADD, because they are not HYPER.

ADHD-PI. learned about it from that reddit thread, impostor sndrome.

ok applied for jizob while chilling out at night, up to 4 today. thats pretty good. also looked at 20 pages of indeed postings.

 

misunderstandings, miscommunications, autistic inexperienced guy, gurl who is too immature to Use Words, he thinks these things are dates, she doesnt, she wants a real date, young autist doesnt know how to.

well obviously he didnt Grab Her By The Pvssy (or just Make Out With Her) during one of those walks in the park.

and its a miracle she hasnt left him yet. him saying please respond, i’ll take you on a nice date, Ill grab your pvssy in the park pleeeeeeeeeeeeee just give me one more chance, i can change, i promise, please respond hahahahahahahahahaha and then he takes 2+ years to get over it.

heh call me a woman hater, but i think a guy is entitled to tell his gf she’s not allowed to hang out with her former “FWB”‘s. you arent allowed to hang out with anybody you have previously FOOKED.

oh but WERE dating now, and i never dated him exclusively, we were just FWBs, we just FOOKED.

i dont care. and if that makes me CONTROLLING, well there are women who prefer CONTROLLING men.

similarly, i dont think women should be hanging out with their ex BF”s either. just dont hang out with anybody you used to date OR fook.

its so weird for me because this is SUCH a common thing in the current year. but i just cant understand it. because every experience ive had “dating” or fooking somebody, i was dumped against my will, so hanging out with them, i woudl totally be thinking about “getting back together” with them. so maybe im wrong in assuming that of women. especially since women are the ones DOING the dumping. of course, you can still want to go back to someone YOU dumped.

i mean I wouldnt. Cuz i know how bad it feels to be dumped, and i wouldnt’ want to be LORDING it over them, and I wouldnt get past the idea that the other person wanted to get back together with ME, so……i just wouldnt hang out as “just friends” with them!

and all these women are making WAY more money in their male dominated stem fields, than i ever will! as Recent College Grads of 22 years old! I could almost be their FATHER hahahaha.

yeah i jsut CANT IMAGINE hanging out with someone i used to date or fook, without wanting them back, because i didnt like when they dumped me in the first place!!!!!

“DEAR” WOMEN, DONT HANG OUT WITH MEN YOU USED TO DATE OR FOOK, YA STUPID MORONS!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

STRUGGLE WITHOUT CUDDLES

aug 3

wewlad. well had a big interview yesterday and today i had a “market research” study for 2 hours of “work” for which i get paid $200. sign me up to do this as muh job. give me a firm 40 hahahaha.

it was really very interesting and fun and positive. there were people from fookin STANFORD there. attractive young stanford business students, who were going to become powerful career women and executives, yet some of them just seemed like perky young college students to me. early 20s girls, some of whom looked vaguely Jooish. the type of gurls you see at Serious Colleges. they are always young and always in good shape and always pretend to be smart, rather than big fat burger white trash proles with their fast food guts and tattoos and filthy mouths.  i am a sucker for these midde class gurls. I dont see a lot of them because i dont spend a lot of time around universities, or in workplaces where professional young women are employed hahahaha. but they are definitely attractive. very bangable.

and everyone was very nice and welcoming. sure its fake but i dont care. i will take somebody being fake nice over somebody being whatever. besides, on the level of our interaction, it wasnt really fake fake. i know that drives the autists crazy which is why they HATE small talk and “fake” niceness etc, everything has to be all deep conversations all the time with these autists, and then they wonder why they are depressed autistic virgin neets hahahaha.

they were just successful normies who had no reason to be mean, and its part of their job to be nice and get The Consumers Talking. And I was happy to oblige.

The whole thing was not what I expected. This was all some HIGH END stuff. People from STANFORD. Stanford BUsiness School working on some sort of collaborative project at World Headquarters of a very large well known company located somewhat near me. about 20 miles travel hehehe. going downtown.  the kind of company real big winners work at. which professional good college student boys and girls try to get summer internships at.

there was art on the walls about the power of disruptive thinking and how to be a real change agent. one mural making fun of traditional business type “orthodoxy” and how this company was gonna turn that on its ear and make itself a real Change Agent getting the best Thinkers and Talent to market their products. There were several copies of this SETH GODIN book sitting on the table for the participants to read. I was probably the only one who knew who he is. Notes: I shold probably read some of his books to learn how to speak the bullshit language of business and marketing. SPeak the language of a Value Adder who is WORTH 28k a year hahahaha. which the young professionals I spoke to today definitely made, hehehe. or they were getting a damn executive mba from a top ten biz school where they would then enter into a 150k a year mid manager position.

I was studying them even more than they were studying me. I thought they were going to ask about uber cars. but they didnt at all. They were asking about feelings and emotions and telling specific stories about times I felt more or less “fearless.” I do not have many specific stories because I have not been living life for the past 2 or 3 years or so hahahaha. it then seemed like these teams of researchers were studying ways of interviewing and communicating during interviews. like how can an interviewer structure and guide an interview in the most productive way.

there were little “breakout” sessions where I talked with groups of people for 10 minutes or so. As I did a few more I got more comfortable, less autistic.  then I talked with two people, and our conversation was watched by like 4 or 5 other Stanford Researchers, and we started off doing a “Bad Interview”, then they sent me off, talked amongst themeslves, but I could hear them talking, then called me back to do a “Good Interview”, which really didn’t seem that much different. Like I guess they were supposed to be assholes in the first situation and then nice and open and friendly the second time. but everyone was pretty nice all around.

Then I talked to a real Ubermensch Hyperborean. He was like 27 years old, like 6 foot 3 at least, wearing good clothes, very handsome, very charming, total UberChad. Normally I am suspicious of these guys because they used to make fun of me in high school and they were always the popular chads who all the women chose over short quiet dorks like me hahaha.

but i have become less autistic over the years and he was very nice to me and i was very nice back to him.

one of the Stanford Researchers seemed more autistic and awkward than me!

well, maybe he worked for the Big Company. The big company is very prestigious too, but you don’t have to go to STANFORD to get a job there. You could be a good student at Cal State and get a job there.

but yeah it was exciting seeing these young college gurls. some were quite attractive and I wanted to bang them. but they were both way too young AND way too successful for me. and way too attractive. but here they are being super nice to me and paying me 100 bucks an hour. literally.

how the hell did i get this? because I signed up for a local Market Research Firm like 8 years ago and every once in a while they contact me for big on-site projects with their Big Client, ie this Big Company.  and this one happened to be at world HQ of this big company, and is the most high-profile, high-paying, classy type project I have done so far. This does NOT happen often folks. like once a year or once every 2 years. and often I get DQ’d because I am too old or I dont have perfect 20 20 vision or I dont have a Smart Phone. I got DQ’d from one because I still use an oldschool nonsmart Flip Phone, like all Trump voters hahahahahaha.

it was all interesting and exciting and fun, but I felt ultimately useless, and it was ridiculous these beautiful smart successful normies could make great money doing this “research”. they probably have relationships with people theyre attracted to too hahahaha. well their GF probably cucks them then. well not if they are making 80, 100k a year, or going to STANFORD! so they get the bitchy career gurl as a GF. I mean of course she will ultimately divorce them, but they will get a few good years of monogamous bangs out of her when she is young and beautiful, and that’s worth a lot!

the participants were dumb white proles hahahahaha. no only semi kidding. but i mean who is available during a Workday to do a Survey? Pill Popping jobless white trash, and thuggish nonwhite trash, who would probably rather sell drugs than do a research survey. or forget to show up. there was a potatoe shaped white woman with a broken arm and ugly tattoos on her arm. There were 45 year old white women with some tattoos on their arms. There was a 40 or 37 year old woman who I wanted to bang. very nice legs and body. I should have charmed her. she walked funny as if she had an injury and she gave off a very crazy vibe. she wasnt super hot, but she was DEF hot enough.

i mean if she were being super nice to me like these researchers were, yeah I would like that hahahaha.

this ties into something i realized recently: it doesnt take much for me to generate interest in a person. if they are NICE to me, that’s generally enough. just be nice to me and be good at talking to me hahahaha. which is these researchers JOB, to get me talking. Now I am good at rambling once you get me talking.

but yeah add a little NICENESS in with that, like smile and be nice and dont be a bitch, and then you will have worked your way into muh heart. show some interest in me and dont bust muh balls or judge me. its not that hard, ladies hahahahahahahahahahahahaha

but yeah that is too much to ask of a woman because as a man, it’s YOUR job to LEAD. in life, in conversations, in everything, and I’ve never been good at taking the LEAD.

now one of the women participants was wearing what looked like a JOOISH star of david. she was in her 40s but in quite good shape. probably would bang. would def not marry hahahahaha. I tried to study her face for signs of jooishness. because all jooish women get nose jobs hahahaha.

pretty sure at least one of the cute young gurl professionals was jooish. had reddish hair and kind of pasty skin. not sure about the KHAZAR MILKERS hahahahahahaha.

yeah i mean not all jooish women are disgusting sea hags, some are very cute, I’m ashamed to say. would race mix with /10.

i should have talked to her about it hahahaha.

pretty sure one of the male researchers I talked to was a J. had a very jooish name on his nametag.

its exciting for me because I met a ton of joos when I was at Jooniversity but not since then. I simply do not live in that kind of upper middle class neighborhood, nor have I worked in Professional 50k+ workplaces where Joos would have their Careers. I have no contact with them. I just read about them and listen to TRS podcasts about how horrible they are hahahahahahahaha.

yeah I will never soften on that, but I wouldn’t mind banging a few of those young jooish qts before THROWING THEM IN THE OVEN hahahahaha.

but seriously folks it wuldnt be that hard for them to get a get out of the oven pass from me. just be NICE to me.

i mean im really not THAT hateful, i really CAN get along with Marketing Research people very well! Who are nice to me and make an effort to pull muh talk string. Well, I mean, they dont even need to pull my talk string, really all they need to do is ask me ONE open ended question to get me started, then I could Ramble On for an hour. not that hard.

like i say, i was quickly warming up to the Big Chad Guy just because he was NICE to me.

and im not used to attractive women being nice to me. i mean i just appreciate niceness. if someone is blatantly nice to me, i really appreciate it. that was a big reason me and that woman became friends. because she was just super nice to me and very easy to talk to. i enjoy being nice to people but because i am an autist neet, i seem cold and aloof. but i really enjoy being nice. i sometimes need people to break the ice though. and she did, and she was super nice to me, and i was super nice to her, and we became friends, and after a while, i trusted her and liked her more, and appreciated her niceness more and more, and then i wanted her to be nice to me in a different way, which she couldnt, and then all the niceness was gone entirely.

i appreciate men being nice too. i like nice men too hahahahahaha.

but yeah it DOES take EFFORT to be nice, so it might not be considered super EASY. although sometimes it is easy.

like the people i meet every week for my social event, we get along fine, but we arent super NICE to each other.

also i was reminded how i dont have any STORIES, because I dont get out and LIVE LIFE. I dont DO THINGS, I dont TAKE ACTION, I dont have deep relationships with people, or even exciting ones where story-worthy things happen. i don’t mind being a BORING WALLFLOWER, but I would like to have a FEW more stories. I mean I have that story about That Person but that’s just a PATHETIC story that makes me look like a total WEIRDO….which I kinda am!

Cuz the market researchers were i think studying real high level meta shit, like How People Tell Stories and How People Communicate and How to Get People To Tell Stories about Times When and How To Lead a Productive Interview. Yes it IS pretty interesting stuff!  I would have liked to stay LONGER and I would be happy to give them more in depth stuff. I would sit in a room and just talk for an HOUR if they wanted. SHIT, its a lot more fun than INTERVIEWING. cuz there you are being judged mercilessly, rejected, not being paid anything, and though interviewers are generally nice, they arent SUPER nice like the marketers. i mean you feel like you are being pampered, and people are INTERESTED in you and your stupid rambling opinions are VALUABLE. And they are really suckin your D. I LIKE THAT! Even if I know my opinions dont matter, and their research is shit. I like having nice qt young gurls sucking muh D saying OH THANK YOU SO MUCH!!!

oh even nice handsome Chad Men, where in the Real World I could never hope to have their Sloppy Seconds!

and i dont really see it as fake, because this is part of their job, and for the most part, they enjoy their chosen career. they are a good fit for this sort of work. they are people people who are interested in watching and talking to people.

I enjoy people watching a lot as well, but the people interacting is difficult for me. If I were less Anxious and INtroverted, I would have been a pretty good Marketer and could see myself attracted to that sort of career. fookin normie extraverts, with attractive gfs. attractive men and attractive women. they dress well, are well-liked, live in nice neighborhoods, have careers not jobs, they went to University, total middle class. shiny happy people. beautiful people.

then at 35 their wife divorces them and sets them on their way to a midlife crisis hahaha. but before the women turn 30, it’s all good times. and there were definitely a few “junior level” under 30 women there. probably sucking dick to get to the top hahahahaha. i mean i would have no chance with these 25 year old women. they are dating their damn 40 year old boss. after his wife divorces him hahahaha no problem he just hooks up with a 24 year old gurl with a shiny new MBA.  she also works out and isnt a fat potato who has let herself go.

shit yeah i notice all the fat people vs nonfat people. as a sorta fat person who is becoming a nonfat person. And I definitely want a nonfat waifu. That Woman had a nice big bottom and thighs but she was not fat or overweight at all.

i have never gotten feelings for a fat or even Overweight gurl, so I figure I owe it to them to not be fat myself hahahaha. or not overweight.

anyway the seth godin book was called your turn is now or waiting for your turn and it was actually not bad, i think it was partially successful in its goal to inspire and motivate, that J is good at his chosen profession hahahaah.

this is the kind of place that has no dress code, probably listen to a ted talk every morning, have team huddles, get gym membership and probably very very good benefits, i mean this is a destination career. young achievers with nononline MBAs who wear skinny jeans and i dunno joy division or velvet underground shirts in the office. maybe even have a mohawk. absolutely rides a bike to work and lives in a hipster neighborhood right on the cusp of Gentrification, and also do a lot of pro-nonwhite nonprofit volunteering to assuage their white swpl guily. VERY SWPLy and hipstery for sure.

but also nice and good people skills because they are Extravert Marketers and not total Weirdo Autists. these poeple are def NOT neet virgins. they are DEFINITELY not nevergf or foreveralone. they are socially well adjusted hahaha.

and not so far out they actually make their career in Nonprofits and Activism. That’s a whole other bunch of hipsters.

so i would have no chance with the young stanford jooish cuties, and my 1488 bruders would hang me for admitting to finding any joos attractive, so I simply wouldn’t flaunt it around them. i certainly would not want to marry or have babies with these gurls.

but what if they were really nice to me? over the long term? and loyal and devoted to me?

heh these issues came up in the study. there was stuff like talk about what it means to you for someone to have your back, and alot of the stuff led naturally into talking about relships, the closer and more important the relship, the better. I bet the normies would be led quite easily to telling stories about their GF or BF. a special relationship with someone who is important to you. and I spoke of how those kind of relationships are important to me…….but I dont have any recent stories to tell you.  and there is talk of personalities and fit and im an introvert and dont mingle with new people a lot, but I do enjoy close connections bla bla bla and really talking about some pretty serious issues!

then ding ding time is up, move to the other group! i felt they cut us off just as things were getting interesting.

definitely a very interesting afternoon, the most interesting “market research” thing I’ve done probably ever hahahaha. a lot more fun than mturk or even talking about a damn product. there was hardly any talk of products or services. usually in those cases i just laugh and say whatever i’m really easy to please. just give me a good product at a fair price. hell not even a fair price. and also a company that doesn’t bullshit its customers, or bullshit its employees, and is loyal to its employees, hires from within, doesnt add more and more retarded managers that dont know shit but how to lay off good workers to save a buck.

maybe this is my sign to buy a seth godin book and memorize the bullshit phrases hahaha.

and i am going back there tomorrow! i will try to stay after tomorrow to talk to the people more. see if i can sign up for moar studies. i mean these people are paying me GOOD MONEY essentially have fun and do interesting things where people are super nice to me. SIGN ME UP! I could do this 80 hours a week! for 100 dollars an hour hahaha.

also if i see that crazy 40 year old woman with the nice legs tomorrow i should Chat Her Up hahahaha and try to have short term casual secs with her. she did not have any visible tattoos, which was more than I could say for some of the other women, and she did not look like a potato. that is very important to me hahahaha.

also these bigshots didnt seem THAT much smarter than me. if they can make 100k a year, I can surely make 30k a year. they just had more confidence, and more experience in the normie world of confidence and success and GFs and sheeeit hahaha.

ok found this cute gurl on linkedin who was part of the research today. holy sheet sheet is jooish as HELL with one of the most jooish names you could imagine. need hearing protection for those echoes. she got a BS in 2014 from CORNELL in “design and environmental analysis.” which is probably “organizational studies” which is probably just “HR” for IVY LEAGUE joos such as her.

god damn. she was cute though, I wanted to plow her and maybe even cuddle with her.

but life is a constant struggle with no cuddles.

STRUGGLE WITH NO CUDDLES.

heres another guy in her dept, 2014 bachelors from not an ivy league but a pretty respectable private college in the state, useless degree like me, but lots of good internships and “apprenticeships” preparing him for this role. fellowships and shit. jooish name too. had the same fellowship as the gurl. i am sure they fooked, but do they still fook? probably.

another young woman, possibly latina, BA degree from state college in 2013. no masters degrees here! this state college was my univs main rival and my univ was seen as intellectually and professionally superior to those Boorish Fraternity Business Majors who just want to get drunk and bang sluts and get an easy business degree. total chads.

alot of these people did useless BA’s in psychology, sociology, anthropology. even human resources and hospitality is less useless than those! but the common denominator is, they went to decent, and sometimes outstanding schools, AND, more important, were VERY active in building their resume throughout college with internships and programs that look really good on a resume, which got them into GOOD jobs with this big company, as 2014 undergrads, with no masters degree. it was the internships that did it. they were moving and shaking. that is exactly where I failed.

yeah these kids are like NINE years younger than me, theyre even younger than That Woman. hehehehe. and they are WAY ahead of where I will EVER be, because they made the right moves during college, and I did not. and I can’t make myself young again to make those right moves the first time. these jobs are BUILT for YOUNG high acheivers on the fast track. I ALMOST got on the fast track, and I could have very realistically been there like them. But I missed it. I didn’t even know how to get on it. I had no idea internships were so IMPORTANT.

but its what separates young huge winners like them, from old huge losers like me.

sheeeeit i gotta get muh stuff ready for my interview for the 12k a year job tomorrow hahahaha. and these KIDS are making i dunno 60k a year with potential for a LOT more in the future. and they had useless degrees too! they just did a bunch of really good internships all the way from freshman year.  while i just smoked MJ and got angry that I couldn’t make friends and get a GF hahahahaha. and slacked muh studies and DIDNT EVEN TRY to get internships. I DIDNT EVEN TRY. partially because I HAD NO IDEA. I dont come from that world and no one I know does. NOBODY TOLD ME because nobody I knew KNEW what you had to do. Muh fam is more working class and doesnt know how to succeed in college. We thought that doing ok and graduating is enough. IT ISNT.

but joos from middle class families, their middle class jooish family and JCC makes sure they are on track every year of their lives, because they udnestand the important of getting on the fast track early, and once you miss it, you dont really get a second chance. i mean a 40 year old man who got an online mba is not gonna get these same “entry level” jobs that a 22 year old grad from cornell with a prestigious yearly City Revitalization fellowship is gonna get.

so am i man enough to Game N Bang that 22 year old jooish qt Cornell Grad hahahahaha would that make me feel IN CHARGE, make me feel like a BIG IMPORTANT EXPANSIVE MAN? would that make me feel confident, powerful, and FEARLESS? yeah it would hahahaha tbhfam. it would feel real good.

at one time, like at age 18 or so, i was on that level too. i just fooked up and she didnt. not just her but many people like her. successful, high achieving, fast track ubernormies. they have good social skills and good career skills and were never put off track by their own damn personal issues and insecurities and weaknesses. and they worked hard, their earned what they got, im not begrudging them that. I’m begrudging myself for letting myself get off track when i was young. because i couldnt handle my own not very difficult life. because i should just went to a damn SHRINK but i was too STUBBORN.

i could have gone to a shrink for “free” at muh university. but i was too STUPID, STUBBORN, and IMMATURE.

anyway i will ask the nice smart qt jooish gurl tomorrow if I can sign up with this office for future stuff like this. you dont need to go through that marketing firm, you can contact me directly. and also wanna go to the mikva and talk about mitzvahs and tikkun olam. hahahahahahahahahaha. im sure your jooish BF wont mind if you get a little side GOYMEAT.

sheeeeit getting up at 620 am tomorrow to do damn interview.

i looked at 3 of the people involved with the “ideas lab” on linkedin and one of them looked at my profile in return. not the qt jooish genius gurl. but the not super attractive latina gurl. she is a year older and still 8 or 9 years younger than me and is like a manager or supervisor there hahahaha. ive never supervised anybody or been promoted anywhere hahaha. shes i dunno i didnt get a good look at her at the thing today. she’s under 25 so that automatically makes her HAWT right? I know she wasnt morbidly obese because nobody there is. but how potatoey is she? well everyone there is very image conscious, which means they care about not being fat, which is good hahahaha. i wish all prole women werent fat and trashy hahaha. we have to MAKE PROLES GREAT AGAIN.

its where i come from and what i identify as, but i hate how so many white proles are white trash. it really made me want to Become Middle Class. I liked the Classy Image of it all. the beautiful people, smart and sophisticated, even the WOMEN. the women read books and paid attention to current events and didnt have horrible tattoos and werent fat hahahaha.

but really i can speak both languages to an extent. well…..a very small extent hahahaha. i can speak middle class better than average proles can hahahaha. and i can probably speak prole better than average middle class can. i have ALWAYS been straddling these two worlds.

white trashcan hahahahaha

when i talked to the first set of people today i was very awkward and weird. after talking to several groups i had gotten markedly better, or at least felt more confident, whcih is all that really matters. marketing research proves it hahaha. science. and other jooish lies hahahahahahahaha.

that sweet little jooish gurl probably DOESNT EVEN REALIZE how EVIL her people are. in fact maybe her family is one of The Good Ones.

you think im so antisemitic because I “dated” a jooish gurl 10 years ago, she broke my heart, I got buttmad, it wasnt even a real relationship, it was a 1 month casual thing, i was stupid to get feelings, so NOW I H8 JOOS.

not so! what it DID do was make me interested in joos. studying this Interesting, Fascinating Race. It wasnt until after a few years of studying how horrible they were that I came to h8 da joos. and again i would probably be VERY lenient if young qt jooish gurls were being NICE to me. they can go in the oven last hahahahahaha.

i KNEW she looked jooish hahahahaha. glad to see my joodar still works.

no, she did not have a hideous face like khazar milkers.

also i fully admit that I was an idiot with the jooish gurl 10 years ago. i shouldnt have gotten feelings, i should have just accepted it was a casual thing….but i just cant do that. no i wasnt an IDIOT. I just dont like DEGENERATE casual secs! and joos do hahaha. but in her defense she wasnt terrible mean about it. she was nice and sympathetic when she dumped me. which is a lot more than i can say about that white woman of 2015!!!!!!!!!!!!

but thats the thing. even if this 22 year old jooish gurl is not bad……what is she gonna be like when she is 44, 66? probably acting and looking more jooish. maybe start going to temple or whatever they call it. and how often did she go to JCC during high school? do jooish stuff during college? i didnt see any blatantly jooish stuff on her linkedin resume tho. well she had such a good resume she didnt NEED to put any joo stuff on it, she probably did that stuff ANYWAY because she is a high energy high achiever. worked in joocamp during high school. too long ago to put on res.

also what about her GRANDPARENTS. all joos luv their grandparents and no doubt they have some stories of the CAMPZ and the EBUL NAHTZEES and the OVENZ and the CAMPZ and the SOAP and LAMPSHADES, OY VEY, WHAT A SHOAH.

and beloved grandparents telling those stories to little children can make a big impression.

well why would old grannies LIE about OVENS?

because theyre hysterical and they dont even KNOW theyre lying. you know how some people have really BAD memories and they EXAGGERATE and BULLSHIT.

also i dont doubt there were CAMPS of some sort. i just doubt they were the lean mean joo genociding machines that elie wiesel would have us believe.

maybe i should talk about all this with that jooish gurl tomorrow hahahahaha.

so yeah i can have a failrly normie conversation with people…..it just takes a few attempts to get in the groove. like when i was taking my calls, many of my calls i handled REALLY WELL. i wish i had recorded them. just recorded them all. they did have recordings of all calls but damned if i had access to them.

but when i meet someone for the FIRST TIME, or I have a JOB INTERVIEW, yeah its gonna be a little awkward. why cant these normies just accept that?

like if they gave me a chance and worked with me for a few days, well i would probably act more normie.

well, i mean jobs and interviews, you are iherenlty being judged and evaluated at ALL TIMES, so yeah that puts you on edge.

who DOES make GOOD decisions under pressure? pressure compromises your decision making quality! yeah i can make decisions but theyre not gonna be GREAT!

also, re that woman, why couldnt she look for the GOOD in me? she used to. and the good stuff never really LEFT. I never really changed THAT much. i was still the same good person, i just had these new feelings. why did she ONLY see the BAD, that she couldnt see the GOOD any more at ALL? so yeah that sucks.

look for the good, you used to see the good. its still there. i never wanted to become a bad person. but thats how you treated me! just as bad as losing you is the thought that omg, AM I A BAD PERSON? because I just cant live with that. I do not have much confidence but I used to be somewhat confident I was a GOOD PERSON. I can’t lose that sense of certainty, then Ive lost ALL I GOT.  so losing that was almost as bad as losing HER!

http://www.bloomberg.com/view/articles/2016-08-03/why-millennials-are-having-less-sex

aug 4

had 9 am interview, got it done with, it was actually very good, they said i was very articulate and a good communicator, which  i was happy to hear, since a lot time i worry about sounding like a retarded autist. but sometimes i can Communicate well, ie BUllshit well, its really the ONLY skill i have and the only way I will sell myself for 12k a year hahahaha

OOOOOOOOOO LOOK AT ME, I MAKE THIRTY THOUSAND DOLLARS A YEAR, IM SO IMPORTANT!

http://washingtonmonthly.com/magazine/junejulyaug-2015/the-post-ownership-society/

swpl phaggot writing in leftist mag but he makes some good points about Working For A Living for us shitty nonstem grads hahahaha. not he but she. she also had stupid false points about women being financially devastated by divorce hahahaha yeah right.

i dunno. be sure to read the comments of courshe.

i mean yeah she and many other like her made bad choices as youth which led to them being financially not so good as adults. they shouldnt have taken on 100k in debt in useless degrees.

and i can sympathize because i am also a member of the Bad Life Choices club and now i am Asshurt about it. bitching and moaning that the world owes me a 28k a year job hahahahaha.

yeah it sucks, but at least i am not a leftist communist like the author and her fook buddies. but some of the communists had good points about international bankers hahahaha. and i dont like free markets when they hurt a nation or a RACE. The White Race. I am STAUNCHLY pro-white, unlike this author and her bohemian starving artist friends. but i too am an older millennial and will likely still be Not Making It at Age 35. which is not far away hehehe.

its sorta ok when youre 25 (and even then not ideal, and wouldnt happen in my amerka hahaha), but by 35 youre like holy shit ive wasted my life, ive made a huge mistake, i should just K myself now hahahaha.

i went in to do the interview, got a better look at the facility at the millions of dollars of machinery they have. i mean i honestly think what this place is doing is legit awesome and great, no bullshit. it is training long term unemployed people the skills they need as quickly as possible to get 30k+ jobs. to fill real skills gaps in manufacturing jobs. because the only manufacturing that is left is “advanced manuacturing” and requires more training. and companies dont train. you have to pay to train yourself at a skool. and the supply of that training is very limited, hidden almost. i mean you can pay 14 THOUSAND dollars to take 6 months of training at HVAC skool so you can make 15 dollars an hour there…..or you can pay i dunno less than 7 thousand dollars to get trained on fookin expensive robot machines and make 20 dollars an hour.

they showed me around and there were a bunch of white people getting schooled there. these are jobs for a strong white working class that is an endangered species…..and this place is DIRECTLY acting to fix that. I could not find a more pro-white job or place! they might as well have a huge industrial size OVEN in there where they shovel in joos and blaqs and muzzies and mudsharks and traitors!

if i were faced with an enemy and a traitor and I had but one bullet left, I would let the traitor have it hahahahahaha

I tried to emphasize that I really liked that sort of stuff and would possibly like to become a student here.  i’m not sure they understood how serious i was. but they said i was very articulate in general. i even seemed SO articulate that they asked how I got that way hahahaha. so i said thank you, strong communication is very important to me, and ive tried to improve myself in that area, so it’s good to hear it’s working.

i mean if anything this is a SIGN FROM GOD that I should GET TRAINING AT THIS PLACE on one of the fooking million dollar robot machines!!!!! they get millions of dollars from FEDGOV! literally! department of labor grants which sounds like one thing fedgov is actually doing right with taxpayer money! unless its all theater, a scam. like spending millions to help black keeds graduate high school.

well this shit is more important than high school!!!!!!!! and its manufacturing!!!!! actually building stuff!!!! honest actual work!!!!

these jobs exist but they cant find people to fill them because the Shop Rats dont know such high tech machines! and since companies wont train their own people….they get this facility to train them!!!! getting fedgov and i’m sure state and county money as well. and it is basically a part of the local college. but their training is VERY job oriented.

i mean its the ONE THING that doesnt look like a huge scam to me!

they only thing stopping me is that you have to call them for more information. because you cant just sign up for A Class. but i am fookin afraid to call them. even though i have had TWO INTERVIEWS with them.

that seth godin book caught my attention because it had a bit about staying in your comfort zone, because you are AFRAID to look STUPID. so you dont take risks and do new things. i def understand that. and when it is an everyday part of your job to not look stupid in front of customers, but you feel stupid as fook, you feel INCOMPETENT and STUPID, and then they get mad at you becuase shouldnt you know this shit, but to be PROPERLY trained is WAYYYYYYYYY more expensive than mass hiring and mass hiring.

yeah it does suck to always feel STUPID. anyone would try to avoid that. but whats even worse is coworkers and customers thinking youre stupid and judging you for it! treating you like youre stupid!

IM NOT STUPID, this stuff is just insanely complicated! I went to STANFORD!!!!

and it doesnt really matter how SMART you are, but how good you are at dealing with unexpected weird shit under pressure. they should teach classes in that. with plenty of hands on field work.

you could be smart and flunk out because you couldnt handle weird shit under pressure.

being smart HELPS sure, but not as much as being cool under pressure.

i mean why am i NOT getting training at this place? I mean its actually a possibility for me to take a 22 week intensive training course! cuz i got no job and have the PRIVILEGE of living with family!

basically they need places like this INSTEAD OF HIGH SCHOOL. START KIDS on this when they are 14 years old so that they are 18 they are trained to do fookin 35k a year jobs. THEN see if so many damn people want to go to college. and a lot of them who do go are gonna do serious STEM shit because they are naturally interested in these damn machines that they can ALREADY make a good living with. and now they want to research and develop new types of machines. innovation and growth hahahaha.

lincoln tech is like a univ of phoenix of this sort of stuff. and if you are gonna go in debt for training….get the training in something useful. so i respect lincoln tech a lot more than phoenix. because they are actually giving a useful product.  god damn that recent univ phoenix commercial is awful. they all are. the one with the workaholic young woman studying till Closing Time at the library because Sleep is not Required to get an awesome education or social work career.

yeah well smart people would rather sleep, than spend 60 grand AND every waking minute, to get a job that pays 10k a year. which you didnt need the degree for anyway.

and if youre an autist or awkward, forget it, you are doomed to a life of neetness, becuase how are you gonna actually GET a job and not totally shit the bed at an interview?

previous generations, you could have NO social skills and still get a job. as a mail clerk, or as a Machine Operator. well there are still sweet machine operator jobs out there, but to get the ones that pay more than 10 DAH, you have to have Advanced Training. so the problem is, where are you gonna find that training.  at places like this place i had 2 interviews for. where the best thing was a 14 dollar an hour part time temporary job. but the STUDENTS are getting prepared for like 18 dollar an hour full time permanent manufacturing jobs. the next step seems like a no brainer eh?

i mean this is what i would do with black ghettos. i would transform all high schools and get the keeds into hardcore job training as young as possible. there are blacks in these robot training programs. they are smart enough to handle it, believe it or not. you dont need to be a genius! you just need the right training!

some people say training is useless, well i say some “training” is useless, but REAL, useful training is RIDICULOUS VALUABLE!!!!!!

which means you cant cut corners on training and you should have jeez at least 120 hours of training.

FOOOOOOK got rejected from the college police job, the big lifechanger job. well at least they let me know within TWO DAYS.

A MAN CANNOT CREATE LIFE AND A WOMAN CANNOT MAINTAIN LIFE, said this guy on a mgtow video. i thought that was pretty good.

but yeah that honestly SUCKS about that job. that would have been a YUUUGE deal. 49k a year are you KIDDING me? I could actually have a FAMILY! with a stay at home tradwaifu homeschool muh children!!!!!!

lot harder to do that on 12k a year hahahaha. well they might not offer me the job either.

http://dschool.stanford.edu/

ok its not stanford business school thats doing this project, its the “d.school”.  its business related but also in a gay people way, like positive disruption and radical collaboration and things that dont even make sense to normie proles and is really only intended for the type of Privileged Middle Class Idealists that would go to Stanford.

http://dschool.stanford.edu/our-team/

i mean look at all these happy smiling J’s making tons of money being progressive and disruptive and collaborative and innovative thought leaders hahaha.

DEEP CONSUMER ETHNOGRAPHY oh lord hahahaha see you cant get this in your basic bitch mba program hahahaha you have to go somewhere ELITE like stanford “d.school.”

so yeah i went there, did that, saw the qt jooish gurl who went to cornell and is 10 years younger than me and right now has a better job than i will ever have, as she pranced around the Disruptive Marketing Ideas Space with bare feet and chatted with handsome young middle class videographers about his exciting bike trip across nicaragua, el salvador, colombia, argentina, bolivia and his job in washington DC.

its funny i havent been around people like this since University, my university was FULL of people like this. and then they get JOBS at places like this.

its just a weird weird world maaaan, but they seem to like their jobs and not be derpressed and they are happy to use their intelligent minds to come up with Valuable Ideas and get paid good money to do it. Thinking and talking about important valuable thoughts. thought leaders. innovation fellows. being smart and getting paid good money for it, but not like STEM smart. well, maybe some of them can do SPSS and statistics, ie damned jooish lies hahahaha.

i was in a big fancy skyscraper downtown and saw that this big multinational corporation had lots of cute young gurls like this working there. Under 25 year old girls dressed like young professionals and talking about accounts. they all are business or marketing or HR or Organizational Students or similar degrees from at least somewhat decent schools who have all been Successfully Career Oriented since age 18. I wish I had that drive and work ethic. and its sad to see qt young women pouring their energy into these very high powered careers, rather than into selecting a good man and having children. young. they might marry another successful man who also works in the fancy building and have 1 kid at age 30 when they have been promoted twice or made two or three promotion-ish company moves.

I guess at that point the woman COULD probably opt to stay home and raise the kid because her husband will be wealthy. but you need a wealthy husband AND wealthy wife to live in the best neighborhoods hahaha. god forbid you have to live next to white proles who dont know what the fook youre talking about when you talk about positive disruption and ideas spaces and employee ENGAGEMENT. yeah its called, you stop being productive, youre FIRED. hows that for ENGAGEMENT. produce your quota or youre FIRED.

i talked to the department manager about getting on a mailing list and possibly doing more of the studies. this was the jooish cornell gurls BOSS, who was closer to my age or maybe even a few years older. she was also very very nice and very happy to talk to me. think she was white not jooish. I gave her muh phone number and email. I tried to bullshit a bit about how interesting this ideas space was, and about the stanford d.school. i stumbled near the end hahaha.

anyway thats how you make 400 dollars for less than 4 hours of fun, easy work, where people act all nice and interested in you, and ask for your rambling opinions, and cup and blow your balls rather than busting them hahahaha.  qt jooish research fellows from stanford cupping and blowing your balls hahahahahaha. yes moar pl0x.

she mentioned a book to me, creative or cooperative or collaborative something, and now i cant remember it.

really this is probably more EMPLOYEE ENGAGEMENT than MARKETING per se.

idea emergence. ok i think this is all for “executive development” and reshaping the Executive Culture at this big well known company.

intrapreneurs hahaha. google has a similar thing called google garage

http://www.fastcompany.com/3017509/work-smart/look-inside-google-garage-the-collaborative-workspace-that-thrives-on-crazy-creat

to get even more creative ideas out of their slacker loser employees hahahah. because they were holding back on some of their brainpower and creativity, being fookin ivy league grads who work at google. theyre just not smart or creative enough and need a push to get even more VALUE out of them.

i dunno you cant push people to be creative.

but then these same people say drop the mic things like “great ideas are worthless” basically meaning action is more important than thought, and you have to have “space to fail and make mistakes and learn from them” which i sort of agree with, because people shouldnt be afraid of being judged as STUPID or word, FIRED because they made a mistake. god forbid a human being make a mistake.

paradoxically, you need to be a top 1% winner in life to even GET A JOB (“career”) at a place that even gives lip service to these Hip Cool Innovative Creative Disruptive ideas. REAL companies cant AFFORD to have an Ideas Space and ride segways around and listen to Seth Godin Ted Talks every day. they’re too busy on the phone talking to clients. angry clients hahahha.

and alot of this Young Creative Talent is being brought in from ivy league joos to do fellowships in conjunction with hugeass corporations, to also stimulate startups and nonprofits and social justice things to “revitalize” the city. IMHO the ironic thing is, you can bring in the best and brightest joos with all this positive disruption and innovation, but how is that REALLY gonna affect the average prole? they have no chance of getting a job like these people have. they dont speak the language, they’re not so damn jooish hahahaha.

so big companies send their best and brightest. but 99% OF PEOPLE ARENT THE BEST AND THE BRIGHTEST. they just need average 28k entry level jobs. not fookin innovation creative fellowship jobs available only to ivy league fast track young joos.

Organizational Dynamics. well what about the front level customer service people making 13 bucks an hour, taking calls from people who feel screwed by your shitty product. well just chain them to their phone and fire them if they dont close cases by any means necessary quickly enough.

so thats what i want to know. what is this companys lowass level tier 1 phone customer service, what is THEIR office culture like. or do they outsource that to indians for a quarter a day.  beause they can get away with it.

creativity inc? is that the book?

how anyone can get good at charisma hahahahahah sign me up

FOUND IT. this is 100% the book. from stanford d.school founder. this company is all about stanford d.school.

kelley brothers, IDEO, “Creatives”, these people think EVERYONE is creative hahaha its all about how to encourage it, motivate it, practice it, develop it.

i used to be creative but not so much any more.

http://www.fastcodesign.com/3056415/ideo-silicon-valleys-most-influential-design-firm-sells-a-minority-stake

ok its all about “DESIGN”. design firms, design consultancies like IDEO, design school founded by the ideo brothers.

sooooo uhhhhh WTF is “DESIGN”? product design?

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Design_thinking

jejejej

i dont give a shit about the executives being creative innovant HUMAN CENTERED etc bullshit UNLESS this trickles down to the very lowest levels. the fat bastards answering the phones. help them do their jobs better, help them help your customers better, and good god give them a break from god damn phones all the god damn time!!!!!

basically only rich young jooish stanford and cornell grads can afford such PRIVILEGE and LUXURY and Mental Masturbation and Bullshit! real working people dont have TIME for this bullshit, they are just trying to keep their jobs, and the only “Creativity” you have is how to bullshit and how to cut corners to make yourself appear more productive.  which is a fookin horrible kind of creativity i want nothing to do with.

of course this is not the kind of creativity which Design Firms talk about. they honestly have good intentions. im just saying Real Average Proles dont have the LUXURY of putting good intentions into practice and making a living from it. you gotta lie, bullshit, and cut corners, and im not surprised many people dont like it!

i still believe most people are born good and HAVE good intentions, but shit like their JOBS totally undermines this. turns them into dishonest bullshitting assholes. so sad. well thats capitalism for ya hahahahahahahaha.

heh the joos should be doing these jobs, they would be naturals at this kind of dishonesty. leave the honest jobs for honest people!

so yeah it was just a real interesting experience. and yeah the people were nice and it was fun giving my bullshit opinions with Elite Researchers and definitely some Stanford PHD’s in there. real fookin intellectuals hahaha. i dont get to do that too often. they had really nice snacks for us too. i mainly drank coffee (mixed with water hahaha) and the coffee tasted pretty good, not cheap folgers shit hahahaha. i kid, i normally drink folgers!

https://www.amazon.com/What-When-Your-Turn-Always/dp/1936719320/ref=sr_1_7?ie=UTF8&qid=1470361737&sr=8-7&keywords=seth+godin

they had 2 copies of this book sitting out on the table for us idiot participants to read. i thought it was kinda neat.

YES i am WELL aware that seth godin is a big name and a slimy, sleazy, conniving bullshit artist joo. i just never really read his stuff until there was a book sitting in front of me and I was waiting around for the people to call me for my turn. you know like reading a shitty magazine in a doctors office, but this book was actually kinda interesting.

i mean you really could become a better bullshitter, and I am sorta interested in that. as far as bullshitting companies to hire me and bullshitting women to want to hang out with me. NOT with bullshitting customers as to how It Is What It Is, We Cant Help You, We’re Done Here. i don’t like bullshitting to represent a bullshitting, dishonest company. bullshitting to try to sell myself is different. a lot more potentially rewarding cuz you might get a good job or a good tradwife hahaha.

so just to be clear, i dont hate seth godin, in fact right now i kinda like him and might eventually read sme of his books, and only after that might i truly hate him hahahaha.

i mean i do really need somebody to break me out of my rut and motivate me. a nice qt gf would be ideal, but thats just NOT gonna happen because gfs HATE guys who are stuck in ruts. they are NOT gonna help you out of rut. you need to do that yourself, with the help of other non-gf people like your family, friends, or jooish smooth talkers like godin hahahaha. and only then will the gf come. yes it sucks. yes i wish women were different, were designed differently, were inherently different. but they’re NOT. i wish they could see your potential and help you out of a run. but they DONT, they NEVER WILL, because theyre not BUILT that way. GOD didnt MAKE them that way. unfortunately.