MAKE YOUR OWN CLOSURE

may 2015

yeah buddy. being a slob.  trying to edit older posts. kinda goign thru something right now that would be of benefit to r9k kv types. namely  trying to get things going with a woman, and things look rough, they look bad, not hopeful at all, odds fo success have never been more than 20% at best. it has been causing stress but would like to get some resolution or “closure” as b1tches call it.

but many times, perhaps more often than not, when in the situation of a beta male desiring a woman, the woman won’t give you closure and you have to make your own closure by telling yourself that no closure is good enough. you just take the cold shoulder as your “NO” answer, as your rejection, and slowly move on.

which is tough for kv’s like uss, because it’s better for us to HEAR “NO” than to get nothing, and build up hopes for years. imho.

so yeah it makes it sad and frustrating and gives you no energy.

so if a girl is ignoring you for no good reason, and keeps blowing you off, and tells you that they will hang out soon, getting your hopes up, but that time never comes….. uhh dont keep asking the gurl about it. even though you are kind of entitled to it, because she keeps lying to you saying you will hang out. if you are a true beta then you will carefully ask her to hang out once every two or three weeks, she will keep blowing you off, then after tow or three YEARS you will get the pciture, hahahahahaha. and then you will be visibly older, fatter, balder, and more beta, more kv, lower mate value, bigger loser.

so just ignore the b1tch just like she is doing to you, do NO CONTACT, and maybe she will contact u in a long time, but 90% chance she will just be a huge promiscuous slutwh0re. and u will be horribly crippling derpressed for a long time. so just herb medicinally, dont worry about finding a new job, and just go one day at a time, and try to do other fun things. and h3rb as much as possible.

medical hb is a valid treatment for treatment resistant derpression hahahahaha.

alcohol, opiates, or benzos are NOT.

u would be amazed at the miraculous things do at job. we all have insane responsibilities and . all the while looking like an idiot, because you really dont’ know what youre doing, and your just doing trial and error.

and the company can get away with this because youre not a DOCTOR doing life and death stuff; and you are talking to “internal” not “external” people, so it doesn’t matter if you sound/look dumb; so basically you get no training and get thrown to the wolves and try to survive. and have miraculously survived, but  totally burnt out by now, and want to get away from it

so does it sound good on interviews to say that you have learned how to BULLSH1T well and Fudge The Truth so that you can get yourself out of Difficult Situations by SOUNDING like you know what you’re doing, even though youre jsut doing trial and error?

well you spin it by saying youre not mad about not being trained, because you beleive its the employees job to train himself, not the companies, because thats just them throwing money away. that’s why you come in early one hour and stay late one hour every day, off the clock, so you can train yourself with other people.

so in other words, work 10 unpaid hours a week hahahahahaha

the sad part is, that’s pretty much what  do. would get in at least an hour early just to read and study and research, because you don’t have TIME to do this on the job it’s like taking an EXAM. you can’t study DURING the exam. and all day every day is the exam. you can STUDY when you go home, or get in early, or stay late.

is that normal? convince your interviewers that you like this and think its normal and ok and you excel at it.

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MIDDLE CLASS MARXIST OPINION ON K’ING YOURSELF

april 7 2014

thank god for all the good things he has given me. dear god give me strength and courage and calm. and ENERGY. good lord I have no energy. how about you?

well it was fun watching the game of thrones premiere. i watch it on a streaming site where people from reddit and 4chan battle each other in the chatbox. obviously reddit sucks and 4chan rules. the redditors are girls who whine about spoilers and racism and Dornish people being “so whitewashed”; and the 4channers are glorious, hilarious trolls. I stand with 4chan. I even contributed something of my own: “hodor likes to take jamie’s stump up his big g4y 4ss” hehehehe.

have a bag of peanuts in your room that you can snack on when you get hungry and do not want to make a meal.

unless you are morbidly obese, then you don’t need to be eating as much at all.

over the weekend I got together with a friend and we played “call of duty ghosts” trying to improve the kill death ratios, it was very fun, even more fun than drugs and alcohol. not as fun as banging 18 yo qtz though, haha. But it will get old less quickly than the girl! in 10 years the vidya gaymz with your frandsz will still be just as fun.

move to a college town with a really HUGE university, like florida state or a famous, HUGE, Party School, get a sweet unionized job at the university, and then bang 18 year old college gurls for the rest of your life. there will always be a fresh crop every year. if you get tired of that, you can start a more serious relationship with one of the girls if she has not taken too manny cox by the time you get to her.

if she b1tches at you for not being ambitious enough by just having a lowly univ staffer job, instead of being a lawyer or docker or masterz degree executive, then you can laff all the way to the bank, know that she is Not The Right One, and wait for the new crop of 18 year olds to come in. plenty of people would kill to have a job as sweet as yours.

so how do you get that job? uh be persistent and network with people in the department, and buy them organic pizzas, and do a good series of interviews. it will not be easy, i can assure you. bribe some managers. then hook me up with a job in your dept. i will buy you lunch every day for a year.

april 8

thinking me sleeping 10 hours a night is just my price of admission. yesterday i had nothing going on and decided to go to sleep early. drank some nyquil while watching jeopardy at 730pm. closed eyes at 8pm, was honestly real tired at that time. dozed, woke up around 9, fell back asleep, till about 10 am. lesson learned: maybe I need 14 hours of sleep a day, hahahaha. ok, between 10 and 14. how about 12.

might start playing the Top Forty Starting Hands. these are all the hands with a Positive Expected Value, ie, above zero. see how this strategy works.

also, if you plan on playing max buyin 10 chip game, my poker dummies book recommends you start with a bankroll of 100 chips. minimum ten times the max buyin. to get you through the Tuff Times. so when are you supposed to replenish your bankroll? I think when it runs out. but you don’t want it to ever run out if you are a good player. you just need to be prepared for Big Swings, it’s just a part of the game.

april 9

had a very weird dream. was having a big Coed Adolescent Slumber party, and I was very excited about maybe Making Out with some Young QTz.

then the police were called and one or two of the boys were arrested in handcuffs because they were smoking a little bit of Weed. The family whose house we were at were total Middle Class Progressive Professional Leftists who would certainly be soft on Weed and probably partook in it themselves on occasion, and I thought this was a bit hypocritical.

then we started watching a movie of my recommendation, a personal favorite. but i hadn’t seen it in a while, and it turned out being much more violent than I remembered. like horrible, insane, ungodly, depraved violence, and it also seemed like it was jumping out of the screen and our very slumber party was being terrorized. horrible stuff like toddlers getting their faces chopped in half by a meat cleaver or thrown into a wood chipper, young girls getting facef00ked by a guy with a huge knife strapped to his crotch, getting their eyeballs and faces impaled, little children getting thrown alive into deli meat slicers and cut into slices.  we could not tell what was the movie and what was real life anymore. I apologized for picking the movie, i didn’t realize it was THIS bad, I wasn’t THAT crazy!

Then I found a spot on the couch next to a really cute young glasses hipster middle class pseudointellectual gurl. i discovered she did not have a Smart Phone and was impressed by that. she was not always playing with a phone.

then suddenly there was a shark swimming around on the floor trying to bite off everyones feet. eventually this girl got her feet bit off. then she got into a weird Suicide Submarine because she decided life was not worth living without her feet. I was starting to fall in luv with her and was upset, both for her and for me.

I asked a friend Why Did She Do This? Wasn’t that a bad idea? Why??? Then the friend said, well she felt she couldn’t live her life to the fullest without feet, couldn’t contribute to society, so why suffer, and why be dead weight, so yeah, it’s tough for us, but her decision makes sense and we are not allowed to be upset by it.

then i said something like I am useless and dead weight, maybe I should K myself too, and then friend said, but you still have your feet, you weren’t the tragic victim of circumstance, so you have no right to K yourself, you’re just a lazy loser.

I thought this all was BS, NO, the girl didn’t have a RIGHT to K herself, and I DID have a right to be upset. and College Brainwashes Intelligent Children into Worshipping a Career Cult and Destroying their Morality and Utterly Devaluing Human Life by saying when it’s OK to end yours or another person’s life.

And I probably cared a little bit more, because I was starting to fall in Luv with her! Special Feelings!

Real weird. Especially since my moral view here is so ambivalent. I generally am against abortion; but I am slightly in Favour of End of Life Euthanasia; and I am generally against Middle Of Life “Depression-Based” Suicide;

Middle Class Marxists are Pro Abortion, and Pro End of Life Euth, and more than likely Anti Mid Life Depression Suicide, yet I like to characterize them as Pro Mid Life Depr Suicide?????!!!

So now I am confused and disturbed, hehehe. not a pleasant dream.

THE LAZIEST LOSER IN THE WORLD

march 26 wed

yeah son. energy is a big problem again. no energy to do anything. not particularly emotional or angry or sad. just don’t want to do anything. i have time off and i am going to use it napping and watching tv. i swore i would look for a better job, but now i don’t want to look for a new job, and am using any excuse not to. like, well i would like to get promoted to the next level at my sucky job. or it will look a lot better on the res if i’ve been there a year rather than 3 months.

unless i can find a better paying job in the next 4 weeks of layoff. not optimisitc there, hehehe.

get an rx for xanax or ativan or whatever the strongest and cheapest benzo you can get. then take it once every OTHER workday, so you can have a stress free workday 3 out of 5 workdays. and also so you don’t build up too strong of a tolerance to the benzo. if your boss gives you sh1t, just tell them the TRUTH: you have a rx for a benzo, you can SHOW them the RX if you want. here, call the pharmacy if you want, ahole. they can’t FIRE you if it’s prescribed! maybe they can lay you off, and then you get money for free! welfare unemployment! unless you don’t, and you get screwed like I did hehehehehe.

this way you only have 2 stressful days instead of 5. a 60% reduction in stress. I think You will appreciate that!

Now should you “play” on the weekends by getting all benzoed up? and then ruining your tolerance for the week?

no, you should prob switch to w33d on the weekends, hahahahahahahaha.

no, just go into a Staffing Agency wearing Dress Slacks and a Dress Shirt and talk about what a positive attitude you have, what a good work ethic you have, and let them Place you somewhere, and try to last as long as you can until you find a job that doesn’t make you want to blow your brains out. it’s really simple as that.

now some places will never, ever hire you if you have a DUI, which you probably do if you’re a Problem Drinker or have ever been. Today I Learned that you cannot become a Pharmaceutical Sales Rep unless you have a bachelors degree AND do not have a DUI. just to become a SALESMAN. sure, a sales world with Huge Money, but still.

what about generally Good Jobs in general, and you have a DUI? like any Fortune 500 Company? I just don’t know. just put on the dress slacks and go to the staffing agency.

like lets say you were an AUTISTICALLY top 1% good computer programmer and had a DUI, you might be able to still get in at google or microsoft, if you had some ridiculously good Work to back up your skills.

and, if you’re here reading this, then you probably don’t!

well, a lot of Stable Upper and Middle Working Class Jobs Do have Regular Drug Tests, to make sure you’re not ever smoking weed when you get home. and that would certainly show the xanax you’ve been taking. so what do you do? become a raging alcoholic, clearly! And try not to get Felony DUI, but if you do, heck 1 is harmful enough anyway!

No, I am not seriously encouraging you to get FELONIES! I was just being a huge b1tch. just get a legit rx for your xanax and keep taking them. damn i should DO that already.

It would probably be a good idea to try to have S’ual Intercourse at least twice per year, and if you have to pay $300 for a hooker each time, then so be it, it will be worth it, for being great for your health. unless you get aids, but of course you do have control over that. and make the hooker take a shower In Your Presence before you bang her.

NOBODY on tv is normal or regular. They are ALL weirdos and sickos. Similarly, the same with people with Really Good Career Jobs. Don’t compare yourself to these “people”, they are like a different SPECIES altogether!!!!!

It's not easy being 27

the average college grad is not underemployed unless it is their own choosing, their own laziness, them being a loser. choosing to be a lazy loser. hehehehehehehe. yep its true, might as well go k myself. OR HOW ABOUT BETTER YOURSELF? because its too much WORK and EFFORT? yes, yes it is. hehehe.

if you don’t have the energy to do anything, get your doc to change your lazy loser meds. for example if paxil doesn’t work, switch it to prozac, and that might be miraculous, and then you will stop being lazy and start choosing to work hard and better yourself.

heh. ALWAYS I lose to a flush when I have 3 of a kind. ALWAYS. Have lost more money in the past two days……

or a straight I have always will lsoe to flsuh when decent pot. cannot type write good no more.

let me state again i am NOT butthurt about sluts being sluts; I am more Annoyed than anything, when sluts have S with a bunch of other guys, but think they’re too good for ME. THEY’RE the ones slutting it up and defiling themselves! And you can’t defile yourself with ME?

Or when a grill has S with you a few times, then says NOPE YOU’RE DONE, and you still really want to have S with her, but she refuses, and goes off and has S with a bunch of other guys instead. just NOT YOU.

THAT is the major problem with Women being Sluts. When their Sluttiness never works to your advantage. and sometimes it works to your DISadvantage in fact, them rubbing it in your face, like they have a shiny new toy that you can’t have, and you’re never gonna get it.

but the Rational Response to this is, Not All Women Are Like That, indeed they are not, and that I am letting my thoughts be Clouded by these unusually negative women I have had the unfortunate and unusual displeasure of dealing with. most men meet some bad women in their lives, but I have just met MORE, and more horrible ones too.

well. i finally got a flush and won a 5 chip pot. THANK GOD. FINALLY. of course, 40-50% of any pot is just your own money. this is obvious but I wonder how many people forget it. maybe only me, hehehehe.

STANKY S3XJUICE & THORAZINE

march 20

i cannot believe i used to get up and go to WORK for many hours every day. now after 3 weeks of layoff, I am back to zero energy, and can barely get up to watch tv or go for a powerwalk! and i am drinking more coffee than I did when I was working! and also staying up a little later.

anyway. who cares. i dont! just going to go with the flow. if i don’t have energy, then i don’t have energy. big deal.

had a weird dream last night where I was having a huge party with family and friends, and there was just a huge amount of people, way more people than there actually are in these groups. there was an “open orgy” side of the party, understood it was going to be relegated to one particular region, but it started seeping over and offending the squares. unfortunately I could not get any action out the orgy. the only people that were showing any interest in me were gay men. I was not interested. I left the orgy section and then I saw a girl I used to be in love with on the other side. Girl 4. I was happy she was not defiling herself like a wh0re on the orgy side. unfortunately she was in a really bitchy mood and did not want to hang out with me, much like in real life, hahahaha.

i went back to the orgy side and found some other girls a bit closer to it, but still not getting involved. i started getting flirtatious with one of the girls, a cute tiny little girl who I had a “mini crush” on many years ago, but who never became a full-blown numbered girl, but possibly could have if I had hung out with her more. but just as she started warming up to me she moved to career/grad school/law skool/some BS.

She was slow to get up and go to the orgy with me but I eventually convinced her. she was getting up and then she disappeared. DAMN.

The other big problem was that this was happening in my house, and people were leaving pools of j1zz and crotch juice and butt juice and sexjuice and sperm and smegma and stank and sweat ALL OVER the place, and it was impossible to find any privacy, or anyplace clean. this was making me seriously reconsider the idea of an Orgy as a Good Idea. It really kinda sucked, especially since I wasn’t getting any Hot Action out of the deal. It was disgusting, there was j1zz and crotch juice congealing everywhere and the girls weren’t washing the old j1zz out of their orifices; all the attractive girls had a huge waitlist; the only people interested in me were gay men; it was a filthy decadent mess which totally backfired on me. i would be much happier with one cute girl in a nonorgy setting.

so poker is a great metaphor for life, or maybe that is how i choose to view life since i am a Problem Gambler. but hear me out. poker (no limit holdem) is like life because: there is only ONE winner. and that sucks. I would rather win smaller pots and have them be more consistent. tortoise rather than the hare. but no. the way you win is big pots once in a while, and then waiting and waiting and waiting for your moment to strike. and trying not to go ON TILT. The odds are against you from the beginning. you have to beat out 5 or 8 other people to get that pot, or else you get NOTHING.

and as time wears on you keep paying blinds.

now if you’re in a TOURNAMENT, heck the BLINDS alone can kill you because they keep going up and up and up. and even fewer people win, because the idea is to get everyone down to ZERO, then you only pay out the top 4 people or so.  I do not like tournaments.

so i would prefer to engineer a way to win smaller pots, but more regularly. i hate having to risk so much. lately i’ve been kinda lucky, winning those big pots, but before that i had a huge cold streak and was killed over and over again even with Great Pocket Cards…..but did i lose because i didn’t play aggressively enough, make large enough of a bet preflop? but to win big pots, you have to get ANOTHER person to bet aggressively, plus it’s not like you’re not seeing the river anyway, ie, have chances to bet/raise.  dunno, just dunno, and when i read articles they go right over my head. really cant wait for “poker for dummies” arriving soon!

heh. this is what happens when you kill your brain cells when your brain is still developing. then you wake up one day later in life and discover you have a Learning Disability. Stuff you would have easily learned in High School, makes no sense to you now. You Get Dumber. Damn.

but Dummies books can teach you, after you’ve become dumber.

or prime of youth qt’s sitting on your face every time you learn a fact correctly. positive reinforcement.

sun march 23

i happened upon some THORAZINE the other day. was watching episodes of “addicted” which is like “intervention”, we started talking about Rx Drug Abuse, I made a joke like, wouldn’t happen to have any Xanax Wouldja, host said lets take a look, and produced some Thorazine and Flexeral. Hmm, I said. I ended up taking 1 Thorazine, which I know is for Psychotic Schizophrenics In Institutions. Did not really DO much. Immediately after I got real Hyper and Excited and Euphoric and Talkative, prob because I get a Rush out of doing Illicit Drugs. And indeed I slept soundly, as promised, although I usu sleep pretty soundly.

and was kinda tired and lethargic the next day, much like taking nyquil. in fact, it was not all that diff from nyquil at all.

but it was fun just for that “placebo effect” and capped off a good grateful night of Socializing. I do NOT recommend taking a lot of thorazine every single day.

BORING EASY STRESSLESS JOB IS IDEAL JOB

sun 12.32 am feb 9

yep when you get a BAD BEAT like that, it makes you reconsider Gambling As A Career. Well, it wasn’t the worst beat, but it wasn’t a decent beat either. I got rightfully happy with KK draw and got a flop 997 i think. then turn K. then river 9.  of COURSE the guy beat my KKK99 full house with FOUR OF A KIND, and he “got me” to go all in right before. Lesson Learned: never go all in unless YOU are the one starting it.  and then I lost like 16 bucks.  holy sh1t. well it’s not bucks. i bought in with .01, got up to .017, and then got CLEANED OUT. was doing GOOD to, OBV should have left at .017 and spent that .007 profit on Gigahashes, hehehe.

so the question is, should i get back to a table NOW, at 12.37 am??? yes, yes of course I should. GAMBLING PROBLEM.

heh. i bet a gambling problem is even worse than a drinking problem. but prob not worse than a Hard Drug Problem.

to know that you could have been UP 7 dollars….rather than DOWN 10 dollars, all in the space of one hand. but it is way more fun than Work.

Church is way more fun than Work, wish I could just sit in church for 40 hours a week. i would rather sit in church for 80 hours a week than work 40 hours a week.

but would i rather PAY to go to SCHOOL and GAMBLE at BETTERING Myself to get a Better/Chiller Job? Because I could get a Business Degree at Online U and not get a chill job, or I could get a Sociology Degree at Harvard and get a very chill job, hehehehehehe. but i could not get into harvard obv, bc i am an old loser wiht no energy and i hate harvard.

but what i COULD have done is get an engin degree at a noname school when i was young, and done VERY well for myself, MUCH better than I am doing now. or would i have found the engin program too hard and gay and quit that like i quit lots of other stuff?? impossible to say.

but i like to think i had tons more energy and drive when i was young. but i’m not sure i did. i still hated doing stuff, everything was a chore. but the record stands, that i still got more done…..like getting a useless stupid degree, biggest mistake of muh life, hehehe. one of them at least. but even that was a considerable amount of time, effort, and resources. not sure how i did that. why didn’t i quit THAT though? that would have been a GOOD idea to quit. actually I DID sort of quit, because I didn’t like it. then I decided that powering through and finishing it would be a good thing. which it usually IS a good idea. but NOT if you’re powering through to get useless degree. get a useFUL degree. remember what that is? engineering.

but i am not gonna go back to school NOW unless somebody makes it worth my while. but paying 100 grand to do engin homework might just be better than this stupid JOB.

BORING EASY JOB IS IDEAL JOB.

Sunday feb 9 2.38 pm; job you don’t worry about all the time is ideal job.

finally got out of bed. really should go to the store today. and go to bed super early to get my 10 hours to prepare for JOB.

but at least thank GOD i have less of a cold coming in to this week.

so i am not sure how much of a sure think cex.io and buying gigahashes is. probably better over the short term than the long term. i think you can actually start LOSING money over the long term.

today: Sunday: like to powerwalk while it’s nice and sunny thank GOD; go grocery shopping; prepare some cigarets for the week; go to bed early; play a little cards and try to win today, hehehehe.

i became rusty while not playing for a few months. i’ve had to re-learn. so:

1. don’t even call to see the flop when the cards look “kinda good”, like say you have an AT unsuited; nope; you will prob lose money because some idiot will make large bets that you don’t feel comfortable calling.

2. never go all in unless you are the one to raise it to all in, it is of YOUR own decision, not the other idiot

3. if you just DONT WANNA call such a big raise, even if you like your cards, especially if you just LIKE your cards but don’t LOVE them, then say f00k it an FOLD. WHEN IN DOUBT, FOLD. otherwise you’re throwing away little bits of money on many hands. which is just as bad as going all in and losing all on one hand.

4. PLAY THE ODDS. PLAY SUPER TIGHT. THE ODDS are not great, so just wait until you have great cards. Play Top 5 or Top 10 cards ONLY.

5. Still be tight/conservative when you have good cards because you can still be killed by a bad beat. note your position. it is hilarious when i say, “just CHECK it, you moron, you don’t HAVE to bet every time”, because i’m in early position and I REALLY don’t want to have to call a raise so idiot with a better position makes. so just FOLD, WAIT, BE PATIENT, until you have great cards, great position, AND great flop, sharpen the Long Knives of Sweet Vengeance, and finally you will get yours.

6. and if you don’t, might have to reconsider Gambling as a Career, and get an Engineering Degree.

ok i got JJ draw and won a sweet 4 dollar pot, came out ahead, and promptly left the table, but the whole time i was angry at the moron who kept raising. STOP RAISING MORON!!! I said, because i didn’t want to be throwing my money away. I won the hand with JJJ over his two pairs, and he was truly a moron, and I enjoyed winning the money, but was still angry at his style of play. so i left the table and said DONE for the day.  quite a reasonable stopping point.

 

TO BE A LATE TWENTIES LOSER

sorry if i stole that title from anyone, it was just a great search term that brought someone here. we should become Blogroll Buddies cuz we talk about the Same Stuff!

nov 14

well stayed up late till 11.30pm doing Muh “INDEPENDENT STUDY” “RESUME BUILDER” “RESUME SILVER” “HOMEWORK”, kinda humbling nuts and bolts computer stuff, I wonder how Univeristies actually teach Web Dev in a Full Time Accredited Curriculum. The good news is that this is up to date tech that is actually used right now, rather than them teaching you how to write Hello World to a Console in some Oldass Language that is never actually used.

although it is good to understand hello world and console progs and the basics of classes and all that…..just try to do it in a language that is actually used By Employed People, like uhhhh def Java. PHP.

149 pm

woooooohooooo parrrtaaaaaayyy. this might be my favourite hour of the week: got day off tomorrow, can sleep in, can stay up “late” and watch a movie tonight, could go do something fun tonight if i wanted, just finished my stressful progress report where I try to deflect from the fact that I’m not trying as hard as I should be on muh homework.

kinda nervous because I am actually more likely than Not Likely to get called in for An Interview for a Full Time Job, I mean things look really hopeful there. Like they could veyr possibly call TODAY, like RIGHT NOW. And I am famously bad at interviews, which is why I stopped trying.

Actually I wasn’t that HORRIBLE at interviews, I was about average, but because the competition was so tuff, I never got the job….But why would they want to hire a 45 year old with 20 more years of experience, and a masters degree, if companies hate old people, and old people cost more in health insurance????? what’s my excuse now? that I wasn’t YOUNG enough for such entry level jobs?

but it’s like joyce meyer sez. you do your part and let GOD do GOD. Let HIM do HIS part.

Of course I would incorporate the things I talk about here. but yeah fact is I have not done an Actual Interview during the entire time This Helping Losers blog has existed. Just been working at muh underjob as a fairly discouraged underemployed.

anyway just want to capture muh Gr8 mood at a very powerful time of week. got 5 hours of sleep when I like to get Einsteins 10. Meaning I could get 15 hours tonight if I wanted hahahaha. Go to bed at 5pm and wake up at 10am friday, hehehehe. totes skip muh cherished movie, or say i had a hot date, or wanted to go buy a suit or some silver, or go to the casino, or go volunteer at the soup kitchen, or go pound the pavement in muh suit and try to sell muhself for a job like a responsible nonloser with dignity.

fri nov 15

lemme look at muh search engine stats:

“to be a late twenties loser” – yes sir, i can assure you it is not fun, and it’s hard to teach an old dog new tricks. but if I didn’t believe it could be done, I wouldn’t be here.

“are you a loser if your working class” – no, your a loser if you write YOUR, hahahahaha. I got news for ya baby, working class is the new MIDDLE class, bubbelah. Consider yourself LUCKY if Your Working Class with a sweet Fulltime Working Class Job and you can afford to responsibly reproduce and afford to live in a neighborhood where your family won’t be terrorized by the REAL underclass.

Working Class Dog
Working Class Dog (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

this is what I mean when I say UPPER Working Class: you’re working full time, you’re a step above Working Poor, you can afford to Live, you might have a Bachelors Degree Job, you might now, but as the Bachelors Degree continues to be devalue, it’s really irrelevant anyway: The Bachelors Degree JOb IS the same as an Upper Working Class Job, at best.  You could be a Underemployed College Graduate Working 20 Hours A Week for $9 an hour!

So go do a 900000 page dissertation on Marx and postmodern intersectional power and try to figure that one out, college boy f4gg0t b1tch!

ok friday day off. yesterday watched a movie, had to drink a lot of coffee to stay up for that, but it was good, went to bed at like 10:30 pm, slept till about 10:30 am, very nice.  now just being lazy, listening to music/spotify, when a person with human dignity would be out pounding the pavement trying to carry his own weight.

They always ask where do you see yourself in 5 years. so you just give a bs answer, related to that company and their field: oh I want to get my MASTERS DEGREE in management with a concentration in (insert field) and follow a natural professional trajectory to a project manager or team leader position with this company.

NO, you don’t say you want to be living on a BEACH Gambling and buying Gold and sipping W33d Smoothies with a harem of 18 year old girl servants with the 222$ you make per day gambling!

All right I should at least do some CHORES and so should you, try to show some Gratitude for not being homeless and dying of cancer or morbid obesity. And I also hope you get to do a grill doggystyle soon that really makes you go HNNNNGGGGG.

YOUR WIFE B(_)RP5 5P3RM ALL OVER HER T!T5 / HOW TO $12 AN HOUR

http://www.bls.gov/web/laus/laumstrk.htm

Unemployment rates for states. Good Old ND at the top as I thought. But what OTHER states are good? SD. Nebraska. NOICE. Quite a surprising list though. Look at the bottom. Illinois? North carolina?? I thought these states were GOOD.

mond 9 16 623pm

switching times. weird, weird day. had the very rare chance to sleep in as long as humanly possible, which only happens a couple times a year, and this time I slept till about 3 pm, (checking muh privilege), even while going to bed the previous night at 11pm. sixteen hours of sleep. and i haven’t been particularly sleep deprived lately! however I felt absolutely euphoric after all that sleep, got a weird drug like feeling.

there was a fun erotic or romantic part in the dream as well. I was with a young 18yoqt and we both liked each other and I was teasing her a little like Lovers Do, and we were just at a gas station midway through a long drive to go up to a Lake House or something for a Fun Long Weekend For Lovers. Sun, Summer, Swimming, and certainly some Fun Nights to be had. Unfort the dream did not get into any of that, just the implication.

then the dreams got weird, shifted to a completely diff episode, and the girl was gone. damn. something weird like I was slowly being poisoned and turned into a mutant and going crazy from chernobyl-like nuclear radiation.

but the other one was real nice. heh. would be nice to experience that feel, hahahahaha. I am greedy for that feel.

would it be the same with a 30yo as with an 18yo? not sure. I don’t get as excited about the thought, that’s for sure!!!

 

tues 9-17 809pm

getting used to this docs. (official switching to google docs and saying f00k you to gmail drafts)

Is Pure MATH a good major?

Probably Yes. Math is probably the most important thing in the world. It underpins everything. It’s like philosophy. IF you can understand advanced math, you can understand anything and everything. All science comes out of math. Math should be the FIRST thing you learn. Don’t learn science until you learn math.  Big Government Should Make A Law that All College Students Should Take: Calc 1 AND Calc2 AND Calc 3 AND Linear Algebra AND Finite Math AND DiffEQ AND DiffEQ 2 AND Stats 1 AND Stats 2. And THAT would WEED a lot of people out, do them a favour really.

was watching this semi ridic PBS docu called “God In America”. Kinda ridic and self-important, but also fun, I had never heard of this Briggs guy who started a lot of “modernizing” movement re Evangelical Protestants in the late 1800s, and there was then now Fundamentalists Vs MOdernizers, COnservatives vs LIberals. Now, I’m usu quite CONSERVATIVE, but I had to side with Briggs on this one, I don’t think Darwin or Science is any THREAT to religion and god, that Science and Religion can WORK TOGETHER to Shine LIght on each other, I share Briggs’s optimism. And while WJ Bryan was a charismatic guy and I like his Conservative Populism, and this Clarence Darrow was a little sneaky sleazebag, I ain’t no Fundamentalist. It was disappointing seeing christians fighting against each other over SCIENCE, when they COULD have been learning MATH. Even Fundamentalist Christians are allowed to take all those MATH courses!

And of course I was asking about the Catholic Immigrants from say Italy and Poland and Ireland, who were viewed with horrible disdain. But the show never discussed, just showed a bunch of city factory workers with dirt on their faces and calling them immigrants. missed opportunity.

But just to be on the safe side, I would major in Something Engineering, with a Minor in Math.

thurs 9 18

I MEAN double Major in An Engineering AND Math. Yes.

Have Paid Internships going all the way back to HIGH SCHOOL. At the VERY LEAST, Summer 1 of College. How about Summer 0 : Summer Between High School and College. Yeah. don’t want employers to think you are one of those bad college students and not a good college student.

Heh. I agree with Will Smith’s talentless son that the world would be a better place if everyone dropped out of school. Educational Institutions do not help the world, they hurt the world.

Education and Learning is for f4gg0ts, hahahaha. No, not really. but it can be hard to get your brain to work when you’re lazy and tired and old. have i said this already? but if your master strong solid employable skills, you will make money and be a winner in life and have a good job and make good money and attract good mates and afford to keep your loved ones safe from disease and violence.

Sometimes someone who looks and acts really dumb and annoying and you want to punch them in the face, turns out to be really smart and successful, a unstoppable top 1% College Student who is going to Medical Doctor Skool or Law Skool. And that, if anything, makes the situation even worse! Because you wanted them to be a big LOSER to match how annoying they are, not a big WINNER!!!

See here some classic Rumination which Dr Steve (Ilardi) sez you and me must STOP. Just cut it out. Pull The Plug. Play some games, rearragne the Queue, drink some water, get up and do pressups or situps or crunches or Capoeira or Wing Chun or prayers. Dr Steve suggests doing a Shared Activity with a Fran, if you have one. I guess the key is to stop the cycle of negative thoughts, true as they may be, and get out and do something. Go to Burlington Coat Factory and buy a suit for jobz interviewz.

thurs 9 19 740 am

holy smokes. dat feel when you close one day then opent he next day at yer underjob. actually not a horrible feel if you don’t ahve to do anything precision or stressful.

however, very likely I got less than 4 hours sleep. for a guy that likes at LEAST 9…

but was in good spirits, listened to a very grim, bleak, dreary, sorrowful, despairing song on repeat at least 5 times on the way over, it was bretty hilarious.

* If you have a Useless Degree and are 100k In Debt, then just leave your college degree OFF your resume to prove that You Don’t Think You’re Overqualified for a job that doesn’t “require” a college degree. Pretend you never graduated College and pretend you’re not 200k in debt!

* If it was a Name School, maybe put the Name on there, but imply you did not graduate.

* what a scam, amirite? yep. but one day you will be making good money and mating with good (young, qt) wimmin, then you won’t care about the scam you went through in the past.

* your wife b(_)rp5 5p3rm all over her t!t5

hehhehehehehehehehehehe.jpg.png

how to ruby on rails

how to calc 3

how to $12 an hour

how to good wief

friday sept 20 2013 1137 am

* So, live at home, go to Loser Community College, and take ALL the (harder) math classes they have. When you Babby Boomer Mom complains about you not wanting to grow up, show her the f00king ridiculous math problems you’re doing and say, “LOOK FAMILIAR? NO? THEN IN TODAYS WORLD, YOU DON’T DESERVE TO MAKE $12 AN HOUR. YOUR DAYS ARE NUMBERED. BE THANKFUL YOU EVEN HAVE A JOB, BECAUSE WITH YOUR NONEXISTENT SKILL SET IN 2013, YOU WOULDN’T.  I HAVE TO BE A SUPERGENIUS SUPERSCIENTIST TO GET THE  SAME KIND OF JOB YOU HAD TO BE A COMPLETE IDIOT TO GET 30 YEARS AGO. YOU WOULDN’T SURVIVE A DAY IN 2013. BESIDES, COLLEGE COSTS 900000000000 TIMES MORE THAN IT DID FOR YOU, AND I WANT TO BE ABLE TO PROVIDE FOR MY FAMILY ONE DAY. OH WAIT, YOU DIDN’T GO TO COLLEGE???” and then go back to your Math Homework while she goes back to Celebrity and Reality Television, hehehehehehe.

* Do Manny Internships, Heck focus on internships ABOVE Classes, they’re prob more important anyway.

* NEVER take a class unless you have the CASH to pay for it ALL UP FRONT.  NO credit cards, and ABSOLUTELY NO LOANS. NO CASH, NO CLASS. So It takes you 10 years to graduate college. BIG DEAL. Less Classes, Moar Internships. Internships don’t COST anything anyway. Except the money they’re not paying you for working, hahahahaha. f4gg0ts. so whaddya do, you gotta f4g the f4gg0ts right back.

* Don’t Ruminate On Your Past Failures, Go Out and do something fun (nondrugs) with your friends if you have any.