THE DOXXENING

jan 11

basically it all boils down to:

DO THEY REGRET IT (Their degeneracy) ????

HAVE THEY CHANGED?

and thats all folks! very simple! Do they regret it, and have they changed. the end. and a woman whos only had one or two casual partners will regret it and change a lot more than a woman who has had 40 casual partners will have a Road To Damascus moment.

when you regret and change, you USUALLY do that EARLY in the “pattern.” it doesn’t become a pattern. its one and done.

YOU ONLY NEED ONE TO LEARN YOUR LESSON.

There was a great thread on TRS about this recently: how much past degeneracy is too much, and some of us have been degen, so we dont want to be huge hypocrites, and yes it is a fallen world, and yes our waifus will have a history……..

………but how much is too much?

and they came to basically the same conclusions I did above. can’t copy the thread because i would get banned hahahaha.

i mean, you can’t learn and change if you don’t regret something. and WANT to change. you wouldnt WANT or TRY to change if you DIDNT regret being a disgusting whore.

met attractive young woman in nearby department……but she is a damn ARAB. one of those fairly good-looking arab women. i mean not a 9/10 or anything, but def bangable for the desperate hahaha. but what if she was really really NICE and LOYAL to me and wanted to Date me? i mean when a woman does those things for you……i imagine it would be pretty persuasive. i have always wanted a woman who was willing to Go To Bat for me and not Leave Me In The Lurch hahahaha. willing to make a sacrifice for me. get some damn skin in the game. actually GIVE something. MAKE AN EFFORT. it does mean a lot.

So, do not get close to the arab gurl. very simple hahaha. find a nice huhwhyte gurl to get close to. easier said than done hahaha.

so many arabs. the 18, 20 year old kids are all damn arabs. scary. demographic replacement. and i want to be PARTICIPATING in my own replacement??!?!?!?!?! FOOK THAT SHIT!!!!!

14 WORDS!!!!!

so yeah im not worried about that. well i am more worried about never making enough money to have a wife and children.

i mean there will ALWAYS be dirty sluts to fook. pump and dump. if i never find a good waifu and have children, i would at least like to pump and dump degenerate sluts some of the time.

good comments here, everyone sees that george has despair and needs to go see a docker, but he is SO STUBBORN. i know how it is, i was the same exact way, REFUSED to see a doctor unti I was 25. he just refused for about 5 or 6 more years hahahahaha.

I can’t say it REALLY helped me, but it probably helped me a LITTLE, and it definitely didnt HURT me.  i was like fook this shit, i am willing to GAMBLE on drugs. give me some damn drugs already, im ALREADY permanently fooked up, i am willing to gamble, if this has ANY chance of helping me. and i think it did help a little. so it was worth it.

also curious why he wont try MJ. i mean that might not help him. its fair if he doesnt really like it. shit I dont really like it, if i have too MUCH of it, or I am AROUND people. I have to be by MYSELF, and preferably in complete isolation. hard to find the privacy needed to enjoy it. very hard.

alt lite sl00t lauren southern makes a video supporting millennial woes, thats kinda big, i thought they would condemn him for being a horrible racist.

MW himself appears in the comments

yeah im thinking he’s not gonna disappear forever.

dont show your damn tits so much ya damn n>5 sl00t hahahahaha. hey im just going through an anti women PHASE for the next 3 months, it’s only temporary, its only a PHASE.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

have some god damn sexual morality.

you know who DOESNT have sexual morality?

(((((((((((((( YOU KNOW WHO. ))))))))))))))

and the hwytes theyve poisoned of course.

REGRET YOUR MISTAKES. FEEL ASHAMED OF THEM, THEN CHANGE YOURSELF FOR THE BETTER. DONT DO THOSE SHITTY THINGS ANY MORE. AND DONT DO THE SHITTY THING 600000000000000 TIMES BEFORE YOU START TO FEEL BAD ABOUT IT. STOP SUCKING AND FOOKING SO MANY GUYS. DONT YOU THINK ITS GROSS HOW YOU HAVE GOD DAMN HERPES???!!?!?!??!!!! THATS NATURE TELLING YOU WHAT YOURE DOING IS DISGUSTNG AND WRONG!!!!!

heh. i just dont know how women can have secs with strangers. even IF theyve been brainwashed by schlomo. well theres peer pressure too. all their friends are doing it. and then college. i mean theyre already sluts in high school. this is why we homeschool hahaha.

ok women 2015 and 2012 went to degen public high schools and did not become sluts. so. theres that.

heh. i still want her. i mean i KNOW i can live without her, but i still want to hang out with her, dont care about hanging out with other women. but i dont KNOW any other women.

and if i cant get any women then i would like ot have some MJ.

but yeah i would totally bang the shit out of lauren southern, i am not above that whatsoever. just really manhandle that body. get real MANHANDSY.

heh. i wish high school had a military class, to get you psyched up to join the military when you were 18, so you did like PRACTICE military when you were 16, so boot camp wouldnt be so rough when you were 18.

well theres boy scouts. i should have done this but i was not a joiner. i thought the boy scouts were phaggots. i thought EVERYONE was phaggots. i had an even WORSE attitude than i had now! at least now i respect SOME authority! and actively reject degeneracy! well, some degeneracy. i still want to do MJ. but i KNOW its degen!

HOLY SHIT 7TH SON WAS DOXED!!!!!!!!

well i guess its not being spread as far and wide as i would expect

this only happened 4 or 5 days ago. holy shit. 7th son, full name, home address, family. holy shit this is ridiculous. also found a thing with ghoul’s real name, address, really personal stuff about his family.

i dont even get it. not even sure marxist antifa were behind this. something to do with something said on red ice? holy shit this is absolutely ridiuclous. wifes name, pictures of the kids, these SAVAGES.

Well 7th son is handling it as best as a man possibly could, just laughing about it, “owning it”, even posting a few pictures himself. i will prob never understand the Forum Drama that led to this. but i do wonder what 7th son’s fatal flaw was. how did they piece it all together. i mean i did see the livestream screenshot from last year in there. maybe that was what did it. and he is a musician in normie life so there are pictures of normie him.

just fookin crazy tho. but if hes not worried i’m not worried. he has been posting since the dox.

i mean shit at this rate k1ke enoch will prob get doxed. its just a matter of time. i hope he is preparing himself. im sure he is, he’s a smart guy.

i just dont want anyone’s career to suffer, or their families to suffer, to have people harrassing wives and children. but really. a couple of phaggy sjw’s protesting outside 7S’s house? his CHILDREN could beat their asses!!!!!!!!!

but yeah 7thS i am most concerned about, because he’s older and has children. he is even somewhat older than me hahahahahahaha. but not by a lot hahahaa. but he’s got a great attitude about it all. good for him.

shit what if i got doxed and fired from my 13k a year job hahahahaha.

jan 12

UNCLE BERN does a video on MILLENNIAL WOES, first time i think Bern has mentioned MW.  Come on Uncle Bern. Join the TRVE Alt-Right. Take the J Pill!!!!!

its great when you get rejected for an 13k a year part time job FOUR MONTHS after you first apply, AND they REPOST the position the SAME DAY. that’s saying we didnt find anyone in 4 months good enough for this 13k job, AND you’re not allow to apply again, we’re not interested in you, otherwise we would have called you for an interview.

i would have been a little more annoyed if i didnt already have the current job. which is a similar 13k a year job with the same large org.

https://heartiste.wordpress.com/2017/01/09/a-white-hot-fire-rises/

i have been reading heartiste for OVER TEN YEARS and he/they were always friendly to hwytes, and now that alt right and pro-hwyte is getting big, i am glad he continues to be very friendly to it, and see tons of 1433 in the comments.

wimmin tech ceo ladyboss leaning in with her professional advice

yep middle amerikkka racist workin class hwytes like me and MY PEOPLE vote against our interests because we DONT WANT TO SEE BROWN PEOPLE THRIVE.

what a jooish thing to say, amirite? what a fookin race traitor hahahahaha. bet her one kid grows up to be a phag druggie loser bipolar biracial trannie hahahahaha

i would be great at doxing people, i was talking to a “customer” today who is a really great guy, just a really great guy, and we share some interest in…..europeans and i should try to convert him to VVN hahahahaha. i found where he lives just using google and some things i knew about him from talking to him. this is what happens when your name is on the internet hahaha. he is totally doxed, it doesnt matter, he interacts with a ton of people and uses his real name. MOST people dont even know what doxing is because they have no reason to use a fake name ever!

but yeah this guy is so great i have to take some time to really let it sink in. getting a mancrush on this 70 year old man hahahaha. he has a masters degree but is super down to earth. well, so are all the people i work newjob with. they all have masters degrees and are very down to earth. i would try to be the same way if i had a masterz degree hahaha.

but yeah lets just say this guy is RIGHT in my demographic wheelhouse and if he were a 20 year old woman, i would marry him hahahaha.

heh. now that hwyte is KEWL again, and whyte men are KEWL again, and whyte gurls like whyte guys again, i wont be able to compete with the fresh crop of new young secsy whyte guys! why go for a 30+ year old neet loser VVN when you can go for a 20 year old alpha chad VVN who has tons of potential for a good career? i cant blame these women for picking superior men!

ok ok settle down

welp at this point more people are doxed than undoxed. seriously. except for….mike enoch. and…….i dunno. the “small time” podcast guys on TRS no one has heard about like the fatherland guys or fash the nation.

i dont want to be doxed probably just as much because of me whining about my pathetic virgin neet loserness, that is a lot more humiliating and embarrassing then me saying 1433 hywytes are awesome HOLY FOOK I LUV BEING HWYTE

holy-fook-i-love-being-white

i honestly do fam, it’s not complicated at all, thats all there is to it. but being hwyte is the best thing about me. really i am quite a low quality hwyte and can’t seem to pull myself out of it. i guess i have been low quality since…2002 or so. didnt really start CARING abotu that till 08 or 09.

i mean i wasnt HAPPY about it from 02 to 08 either, i was just drinkin tons and smokin tons to distract and numb and block out and stupefy and escape. i wasnt a happy go lucky degenerate. not a true full blown hedonist. because then i would have been 100% enjoying myself. but i wasn’t. i knew deep down what i was doing was WRONG. i was ashamed. so escape the shame by doing more shameful drinking.

met a black african from africa today with a phd in math. i still can’t even. why is he not making 300k a year with some…..i dunno , business, finance, research, analytics? instead he is teaching, not even high profile jobs, not even doing respectable research, he prob doesn’t like teaching, and his students definitely dont like HIM, and think he’s a bad teacher! god damn! how can you fook up a phd in MATH?

i’m sure he’s smart enough to have a good upper middle class job. this isnt even about him being a black african. it’s about him having a PHD in MATH and making less than 50k a year. period. that tells me that phd in math isnt a much of a magic bullet, write your own ticket sort of degree.

you still gotta have CHARISMA. and god bless him, he didn’t seem to have much of that. CHARISMA is really the most important thing in life. Charisma and hard work, even better.

and i never had either. waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

call the waaaaaamberlamps hahahahaha.

but yeah if you have a grad degree AND charisma, you’ll prob do well. the guys i work with who have grad degrees, they also have charisma as well. they are pleasant to talk to, nice people, good people, good talkers, can hold a conversation. they are also fairly hard workers. they have been justly rewarded with good careers, good middle class lives, white wives, and white children. thank god. each man has MORE than two white children. fookin AWESOME. they didnt marry g00ks, and they picked good women who didnt dump them, and they live good, admirable lives. but i don’t think their masters degrees would have gotten them as far if they weren’t as charismatic. as CHARMING. the one guys wife is not ugly. havent seen the other guys wife, but i know she is first gen european. and not from a nonwhite euro country like albania or finland HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

no jk i luv the finns. i dont mean to compare them to the albs in any way.

this isnt like when they used to say irish and poles arent white. NOBODY says the albanians are white. NOBODY REALLY said poles werent white.

now i know in UK they dont like poles. play the EJ00 for that, dont blame poles. no more D&C, no more brother wars hahahaha.

so. what do you if you get doxed…..and no one really cares? seventh son got doxed and i had to make a concerted effort to even find the info. its not big on twitter or /r/altright or youtube. no one even really knows or cares who SS is! I mean I think he’s great. Theres a great example of GR8 CHARISMA. That guy is a CHARMER. That guy knows how to talk to people. I think he would be GREAT to socialize with.

but its totally different than the MW doxing. that is big news. all over the news and youtube. people who never spoke of MW are now speaking positively of him. people who never heard of him are now checking him out. absolutely none of that with SS. i guess this partially explains why he’s taking it very well, but i was kinda hoping for 6 million white normies to view TRS and say, yep i like this.

and i am super disgusted that, unlike with MW, the people that doxed SS aren’t even antifa, they are just edgy nihilist neet virgin forum geeks who will put FORUM DRAMA ahead of their own RACE. i literally cant even. there might even be a few who believe TRS is j00 shills. like if nutcases like sinead were good at computerz and doxing. like a god damn 50 foot baby with a flamethrower.  this is the absolute worst kind of punching to the right there is. this is absolute treason. even a child knows that doxing is wrong. unless you totally have a screw loose. there are other ways to prank somebody than doxing.

but if seventh son keeps calling himself seventh son or sven, and all of his fans keep calling him that, i mean we don’t even CARE what his real name is. to me and i’m sure to many others, he’ll always be 7th son, and MW will always be MW. no need for us to even SAY their real names. If I ever contacted them I would still address them as SS or MW unless they made a big announcement about wanting people to call them by their doxed normie name.

just like im sure people will still use guy fieri or vince vaughn pictures to make seventh son memes, even though his real face is out there.

but yeah if mike enoch lasts another 6 months undoxed i will be shocked. im sure he is preparing. well, i think he PROB has better opsec than SS.

really im just worried about ME getting doxed hahahaha. i mean i have no marketable skills that employers would say, meh we dont care if hes a NOTSEE, none of our clients care, and he’ll make us money.

FINALLY, i’ve been waiting a long time for a decent hand

2017-01-12-19_44_59-turmeric-0-02_0-04-no-limit-holdem-replay-14137137

and with my luck, i would lose with AA. and he had a damn good hand too. the second best hehehehe. i went all in with like 3 and won the pot of 6.09. so my stack was 6.09 after the win. not 12.18 hehehehe.

heh. i dont even want my poker name to be doxxed hehehe. and thats nowhere close to my real name and i dont even use it anywhere else.

but yeah the 8ch vs TRS thing, somebody said it was almost like the neet sperg virgins against the normie chads. beta uprising against the bully chads who just werent as nerdy on the computarz. and when you have that much omega butthurt, you dont care about lashing out and hurting people of your race. you just want to get revenge on the popular guys who get the gurlz. i would mention columbine but i dont even think those guys were lonely for waifus, i think they were just nihilist psychopath sociopaths, the type who like torturing animals.

now i’m SURE the g00k virgins like virginia tech and elliot rodger, yeah they hated and envied whytes, because they wanted to BE whyte so they could get whyte gurls. see the elliot rodger manifesto, which is nowhere NEAR as good as the breivik manifesto hahaha.

i come from an older generation where we were kids in the 90s and we were so nihilistic, we used to worship serial killers and marilyn manson. serial killers were automatically cool because they were crazy and sadistic and K’d people. we wouldn’t have bother makign a distinction between cho and rodger other than cho was Moar Badass because he had a higher Body Count. and evaluating the manifestos on their own merit was unheard of, a waste of time that could be better used playing vidya or beating off to pron or smokin MJ. Like I say, horrifying depths of degeneracy. but I’m ashamed of it, i regret it, and I never want to go back to it. i’ve repented and learned my lesson and never got that bad again.

but i still want to sm0ke mj hehe.

but i DONT want to look at porn, and i certainly dont want to glorify crazy nihilistic serial K’ers!!!!! Nowadays I glorify things that are WORTH being glorified: beauty, truth, morality, virtue, honesty, hard work, honestly, charisma, confidence, 14 words, folk, family, faith, blood and soil, honor, being a man of your word, doing the right thing. did i miss anything. prudence. temperance. moderation. self-control. stoicism. tradition. being a good husband and father. heritage. strength. perseverance. resilience. toughness. being a true blue cobber. bantzing cvnts and seppos with some ripper belter qualityposting.

all that shit. i got muh priorities straight at least hahahaha.

http://usa.polishhearts.com/en/

no need for degeneracy like tinder hehehehe

jan 13

heh i just dnated 6.16 to trs to show solidarity to sven getting doxed, and also to prove that i am not a infiltrator on the 504umz, cuz i never actually post there, and lurking looks suspicious.

You sent $6.16 USD to redacted
YOUR NOTE TO redacted

Hail Sven! Sorry about the insultingly tiny d’nation, but I already d’nate every week on LiberaPay, haha. Just wanted to score Good Boi Points for my forum persona @redacted so you know I’m not a damn traitor like the swine who doxxed you. (Plz don’t dox my normie name thx :DDDDDD) What those filthy animals did is absolutely disgusting, and I am sorry you and your family have to deal with that. I admire that you are dealing with it as well as a right true blue cobber can. It’s also comforting knowing that your young children could easily beat the shit out of the types of sissy, pantywaste antifa that would ever want to harass you IRL. I guarantee they are going after Mike E next, so hope he is planning accordingly. Anyway, keep up the great work, TRS is the greatest pro-hwyte organization in the past 70 years or so, haha. HAIL VICTORY! – redacted

heh. mainly it is to remove suspicion from me being a LURKER on the forums, since that makes it look like you are an infiltrator gaining intelligence, copying private shit, sending screenshots to enemies and doxers, etc. its easily the most exclusive, hard to get into forum ive ever been a part of hahahahaha.

http://goaskalice.columbia.edu/answered-questions/friends-partners-possible-0

i think ive linked this before but i get a newsletter from them every friday and this showed up innit.

they say to KYS you lyng traitor niceguy betrayer abuser, waiting in the wings, ulterior motives, entitled, false pretenses, whole friendship was built on a scheming jooish manipulating lie, hahahahaha.

no, hahahaha, they say NOTHING VENTURED, NOTHING GAINED, and to talk to the person about it. see i was RIGHT ahhaahahaha.

I WAS RIGHT. hahahaha. this is why you want a damn court of relship law. because you want to be proven RIGHT because you are being accused of being WRONG.

esp when right or wrong makes no difference in fixing the rel.

if you’re gonna be heartbroken REGARDLESS, you might as well be RIGHT. 

truer, wiser words were never spoken.

heh. i hope sven does not think i am a jooish infiltrator who is scheming to gain his trust by making a dnation. if i were REALLY a good goy i’d give a HUGE dnation. well what if i were a rich J hellbent on destroying TRS, and then giving them a HUGE dnation in bad faith. jeez.

well he or one of his goons can email me if they want to vet me.

grace kelly had series of affairs with married men before she married prince ranier at age 26? DEGENERATE. Supposedly it caused her guilt with her catholic upbringing.

WELL IT OBVIOUSLY DIDNT CAUSE ENOUGH GUILT OR SHAME OR REGRET, OTHERWISE SHE WOULDNT HAVE DONE IT MORE THAN ONCE.

my point is, all those wholesome (((((((entertainment celebrities )))))))) of the 1950s were STILL degenerates, even the goys. when you think of the 50s as a Much Better Time.  well in general yes it prob was, but not in ((((hollywood)))))

THERE ARE BETTER WAYS to figure out if you’d be “okay” with your friend secsually than having surprise secs with them and then avoiding talking about the complicated situation ever. how about you take some time, think about it deeply, talk to the person at length about it. not avoid them, then dart in, fook them, dart out, ocntinue avoiding, get his hopes up, then inevitably break his heart now that he’s totally all in, then you say nope sorry i fold. for decent women, the fooking means that they are going all in too. not that they are gonna fold immediaetly after. that is against the rules and should incur a fee.  give me certificates for 100 moar fooks, and buy me an ounce of MJ at least. AND MOVE THE FOOK OUT OF MUH HOUSE. STOP BEING MY ROOMMATE. HOLY SHIT. SHE LIVES WITH THE GUY AS a platonic friend roomate and THIS is how shes handling it. and he says uhhhh maybe i’m a little too old (25) to not know how to deal with this. and THIS is how she, the same age, is handling it!!!!! what a dumb bitch!!!!!!

heh. i like that /relships now keeps scores hidden for a while. why did they not do this before. because all the WOMEN who read that, all they do is PILE ON, and this might mitigate that.

these bitches are so willing to fook but they wont communicate. just because you squirt sperm in their body and make a new life doesnt mean they’re letting down their wall enough to actually talk to you about Your Relationship and How You Feel About Each Other.

you shouldn’t let someone squirt sperm in you and possibly create a new human being unless you’re willing to talk about all that, ya dumb B!!!!

he needs to find a better woman to have feelings for. she doesnt deserve him.

this could possibly also be a top 5% post and go in the best of list.

communication has NEVER been easy, but secs should NEVER be easier than Communication. You Know Who made it this way!

so yeah that bothers me:::

if having SECS is easier than COMMUNICATING, then WHAT ELSE is easier than communicating?

cheating on you? murdering your baby? fooking blacks? having casual secs with more than 10 people? coldly shooting someone in the head who is begging you to spare their life? (thinking “millers crossing” if the john turturro char were not a sneaky traitor joo, and did not deserve to die. most underrated COHEN brothers movie ever.) god damn.

TRVMP said buzzfeed is a “PILE OF GARBAGE.” He is absolutely right. I did a FIST PUMP when he said that.

heh. slept VERY soundly last night. went to bed little late, like 1 am, slept soundly till like 830 am, thought I would just stay up, but fell back asleep SOUNDLY until like 10:30 am, and i never sleep past 10 at the LATEST. because then you look like a REALLY lazy neet loser. but i felt i could have slept another hour. then had day off today, and literally almost fell asleep around 3 pm. i couldnt keep my eyes open. then ate dinner and took a benedryl in anticipation of sleeping moar tonight. and here i am.

so varg says its best to build your home out of stone. he talks a lot of shit but one thing i do trust him on is living off the grid and how to do shit like around the house and car and farming and family and shit like that. but i dont trust what he says about christians and the alt right hahahaha.

anyway i agree, you want some LAND in the country, and to build a home that lasts 100 years. doesnt fall apart, stays warm in the winter, and i guess stone is good for all this. is brick stone? is a chicken a bird?

THE JUICE AINT WORTH THE SQUEEZE hahahaha gotta start using that one more often.

wonder if MW got kicked off patreon yet….prob happen soon. before feb hhahahahha. nope he’s still on there.

 

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NOT EVEN MOST WOMEN ARE EVIL CHILDREN

nov 11

sheeeeeeeeeeeit LEONARD COHEN died. age 82. not sure what. he came out with that new song/album a few months ago. out of all the famous singers who died recently, LC is by far the one I liked the most. I was/am an actual literal serious LC FAN. I have seen LC live. TWICE! I have spent hours listening to and fully enjoying LC, respecting an admiring him. I know he was old and obviously wouldnt live forever, and his health seemed to be declining even with that. he did not have long in other words. and here it happened.

ive listened to him less the past few years, and have been trying to keep his JOOISHNESS in mind critically, but he was still prob muh fav JOO. and now that he is gone it would be a lot easier for me to push the button and send them all back to their homeland hahahaha.

i still think he was a good guy. i just didnt like that his profound songs, lyrics, philosophy had to be somehow TAINTED with jooishness.

i mean i dont think he was a typical antiwhite joo by any means.

he died on MONDAY and we only heard about it on THURSDAY? well thats more than fair. i would just hate for him to be pressured to make an anti trump statement during his last day of life hahahaha. who knows, he probably did before hahaha.

cant find cause of death. i mean it doesnt really matter, i just want to know if he secretly had CANCER like david bowie.

sheeeeeeeeit now i gotta listen to his latest album released 1 month ago. i heard one song from it and i didnt love it.

unfort i had a dream about That Woman last night so i am thinking about that.

also that she knows that I am a big cohen fan so when she hears about his death she will think of me unless she is just THAT dense, 50 50 chance there hahaha.

basically how can any big LC fan be a total betraying piece of shit? she would think if she was smart and mature, which she is not hahaha.

like LC, i have lived for years blaming myself for hurting and disappointing someone i luved, totally being a coward. this is kinda how LC viewed himself too. disappointed in himself for being a coward who hurt the people he luved. i totally know that feel.

anyway he captures that guilt and Vulnerability very well, all real fans know this.

anyway the dream: in the dream i finally received my long awaited Long Email from her. she actually never appeared in the dream, just the email.

the email was nice and long. but it did not have her name on it, and it was in my Spam folder, and I easily could have missed it because it was buried among 6000000 emails in my spam folder. (not realistic, i check and empty spam every day and there is never more than 4 emails in there due to how often i check it)

i read the email and while i was glad she was finally communicating with me, it was frustrating. i think she apologized for shutting down. but she spent a lot of time talking about her new bf. and how she had to go out and be young and stupid for a while, dating around, euphemisms for being a casual sex slut. then she finally met this guy who she cant even explain. on paper he sounds horrible: immature, unfriendly, he’s even more emotionally sensitive than me or even YOU (meaning me!), grumpy, stubborn, but I just saw something in him and now I am so happy.

(that made me angry and be like yeah but i am better than that! hes even MORE emotional than me? why couldnt you just pick ME instead? why go out and be a slut and then end up with a guy whos like me, but even WORSE? why not contact me earlier and give me a chance? I still luv you!)

so yeah my ultimate feeling after getting the letter was frustration, not really any greater closure, but a reawakened desire to try to beg her to come to me, pleeeease think about dating me, please give me a chance, you’re dating an emotional, short, grumpy, awkward guy, i am all those things too, but i am trying to become a better man though! and i would luv you unconditionally!

so yeah the whole feeling was like, this doesnt make me feel much better, this wasnt the closure i was looking for, she didnt talk enough about the stuff i wanted her to talk about (apologizing, dont blame yourself, youre a great guy) and talked too much about stuff i didnt want to hear about (new emo boifran, slutting it up.)

and she said, you absolutely need to have no contact with me in order to get over this, we cant talk again for like a YEAR. and just go out there and meet new people. I did! good people, bad people, just any new people. youll meet a few shitty people but eventually you will meet a great person and then you will get over me!

so that was technically good, becuase yeah thats exactly what i need to do, and that was her saying, theres no chance between me and you.

mainly i was angry because i was like, overall, she doesnt’ really GET it. this isnt the letter i wanted.

but that made it easier for me to dislike her and to see how Incompatible we were, so thats kinda good tho.

but it also sucked to bring all the feelings back to the surface again, to remind me that i still wanted her. i had a strong urge to reply and try to persuade her like a game of chess. i still want you.

so yeah. basically it means that a letter from her wouldn’t do a ton of good at this late date. its too late hahahaha.

but technically i wouldnt mind DISliking her more. or an apology, an admission of her guilt, and her saying it wasnt my fault.

so yeah. i guess an email wouldnt be all bad. because i HATE being misunderstood, and not listened to, not given a chance to defend myself, and having someone i luv, hate me forever.

but yeah i dont need stupid dreams bringing HER back to the fore, when there are much more important things happeneing in the world!

trump victory!

leonard cohen dying!

and all i can think of now is, well when she hears about LC dying, she might think of ME and maybe try to contact me!

sheeeeit shes prob so busy working, making money, succeeding, and being in luv and fookin new bf’s, to ever hear about LC or remember anything about him.

i mean she could even have a CHILD by now hahahaha. thats how long i havent seen her.

she is SO MUCH OVER ME, and I am not really enough over her at all.

i mean i get good days and bad days, and had a couple bad days re her recently.

also, my good days are worse than normies bad days hahahaha.

http://goaskalice.columbia.edu/answered-questions/told-him-my-true-feelings-and-now-its-truly-awkward-0

good advice from communist alice. it takes courage to confess feelings. open direct communication is the best way forward. he doesnt want to reject you as a person.

thats something thats not covered in these talks. when you confess feelings for a friend, the “norm” is they are like, i dont feel that way, but i dont want to lose your friendship, you are valuable to me as a friend, and then you say, well yeah its complicated! but some space would be nice, can we agree on some space, i mean i wish you well tho.

but from her i got YOU BEATRAYED ME YOU PIECE OF SHIT I NEVER WANT TO TALK TO YOU AGAIN!!!!!

which left me devastated. but i didnt really get that though. i just got nothing.

http://goaskalice.columbia.edu/answered-questions/friends-partners-possible

again, just have a direct conversation, with no warnings of this could really really really blow up horribly.

which leads me to believe that blowing up THAT horribly is not normal.

ie, SHE DEFINITELY OVERREACTED BIGLY.

which doesnt mean i wasnt a coward, i def was.

but it takes a lot of courage to do this, AND she overreacted WAY too much, even for a WOMAN.

women are not that bad, white women voted for TRUMP. white women voted for trump. white women are not degen garbage who fook dogs and negros. at least 53% of white women are good hahahaha.

ok call to job int in 2 weeks from stupid hospital. yes THAT hospital. this is for an afternoon shift job with no benefits (casual) and which will be lucky to get 12 an hour. oh well. hopefully they can at least have the decency to give me an actual interview!!!!!!!!

instead of me showing up at 830 am, them saying you would be bored with this job, why dont you try applying for something that would be a better FIT for you, dont look desperate, this job isnt for you, we here at this hospital look at the types of jobs you apply to, you should really apply for something thats a better fit for you, good luck, buh bye.

goddam k1k3s hahahaha.

no you cant just APPLY for one of the 4000 new trump administration jobs. i checked hahaha.

forced self to eat less cereal this morning than i would normally eat.

fookin portion control!

stupid computer. hard drives. never had a hard drive fail. WHY did it fail? was i using the computer too much? i did use it a lot.

but its also been making a weird clicking and humming noise for like 2 months. which i wasnt sure was the hard drive but now i am much more sure thats what it was. cuz the beeping came from the same place.

root cause for hard drive failure. we dont know why your hard drive broke and you lost all your files hahaha.

well my most important files are all on The Cloud. i am really just losing a bunch of music files i downloaded. thats about it. really not bad.

leonard cohen. well he fell in luv many times, even more than i did, and was able to turn his profound feels into classic, timeless songs that will last hundreds of years. i do not have that talent hahahaha. just this blog hahahaha. this blog is my “hallelujah” hahahaha. my “suzanne” and all that shit. so long marianne. im your man. first we take manhattan. take this waltz. dance me to the end of luv. great song, i dont care that some joos say its about the h0l0h04x, its still beautiful. bird on a wire. you know what song i like is sing another song boys. everybody knows hahaha. a great newer song is “alexandra leaving.”  heart with no companion. the future. all that shit. joan of arc. avalanche. chelsea hotel. famous blue raincoat. lover lover lover. all great songs hahaha.

you gotta be a goddam POLITICIAN to CAMPAIGN why you are the BEST candidate for this 11 dollar an hour job. you cant just say the right things, you gotta really sell yourself and convince people. SHE couldnt do that! but she gets a good job just because she doesnt have a GAP like a NEET hahahaha.

hehehe. hey i had an offer for a tech support call center help desk tier 1 job myself, for good money. but i turned it down because i was too SCARED and COWARDLY.  i was like, its not worf it m8.

one thing i got better at is giving clients bad news. give a brief story of specific example when you were bad, then what you did, seek out mentorship, read books, watched youtube, here’s the top 3 things i learned, and here’s a specific story of when i got good at giving the bad news. of our company doesnt want to spend the money to fix our broken equipment hahahaha.

anyway i am real bad with these specific stories. i have a few but they are just not good enough. i SHOULD have written them down while i was THERE. to make them as DETAILED and EPIC and HEROIC as possible. spin them so they have a better ending of we just ignored the person because there case was too hard and expensive to solve, so we gave them the runaround until they stopped calling, because the person who did know how to help them just didnt want to, and we dont have access to the secret information in their head. job security. dont tell anybody anything and sure as hell dont write it down. and then dont help the people who are begging you to help them, becuase they dont even know you can help them.

but yeah now got the 28th interview lined up. not nearly as excited about this job, but welp the PIPELINE hasnt been so full lately hehe.

HONESTLY. why cant the skool just hire me already.

got like FOUR rej emails yesterday for various jobs. and less than half of places actually send rej emails. so what does that tell you. i rarely even APPLY for 4 jobs a day anymore. 3 or 4 on a GOOD day. 0 or 1 on a bad day hahaha.

ok applied for hospital job on the slow computer. great job, entry level data entry thing with very short description. prob get rejected as i always do for these hospital jobs hehe.

took some nyquil. always a good time there. wish we had legal mj. maybe in 2018 election. why not 2017? i thought the state could technically do something like that at ANY time.

but good luck getting Normal People out when there is not a presidential election! like for local elections, no one ever comes out.

even in the big 2016 election, only 55% of eligible people voted. tons of people were just not registered or just too lazy to vote.

i agree that i am too lazy and dont DESERVE to vote, but thats NOT what these people are thinking, they are just too lazy and uncaring to vote. i vote because i know i have to make use of this power (which i dont deserve, but i have anyway) to keep The Enemy From Winning. that much i can do.

im not proud of how i acted and some days i REALLY blame myself, but the FACT, the FINAL FACT, the VERDICT, is, SHE OVERREACTED BIGLY hehehehe. women tend to overreact and she overreacted on top of an overreaction. so that is on her, and i shouldnt and cannot blame myself for that. like i MADE her do that.

nov 12

yeah basically i thought even though our rel was In Trouble, that I was entitled to, that i had EARNED THE RIGHT TO DEFEND MYSELF.

how can you so easily throw me away, make me dead to you and you dead to me? we knew each other for 3 years!!!! Ive earned the right to defend myself against what you’ve charged me with! so lets have a damn trial! lets sit down and talk and present our cases before the judge and jury! i am confident enough to represent myself as my own attorney. you can get an attorney too if you like.

well then we would have to hire a judge and jury. that would be too expensive. finding an impartial group of people to make a decision on something that onyl matters to ONE person, me.

so yeah a Trial would have been NICE for me…..but its an expensive bourgeois LUXURY to have a trial.

no ones ENTITLED to a trial hahahaha.

your trial, my funeral hahahahahahahaha

just spending money like water this week and its not even xmas hahaha.

so yeah. i thought she would be willing to give me a TRIAL. LET ME DEFEND MYSELF. LISTEN TO ME. again thats all part of the Natural, Beautiful Complexity of being Thrown Away. it is a flower with many petals hahahaha.

i mean yeah. when a person can just Switch It Off, so 180, thats a Red Flag that you are not compatible with them.

of course compatibility is a jooish lie hahahahaha. its not about compatibility, its about WILLINGNESS TO WORK.

yeah well she wasnt WILLING TO WORK EITHER.

16 months later, 480 days later, still thinking about this. well, 500 is a nice round number like 100% is hahahaha.

leonard cohen. whose the white leonard cohen. LC was a great man but his CYNICISM and DESPAIR and PESSIMISM was so TYPICALLY Jooish. i am all those things too, and i dont like that jooishness in me, but it comes from living in a jooish culture and world. i dont want to be this way hahahaha. the world made me this way. my goy heart innately rejects it.

not to say ALL of cohens stuff was pessimistic! but he also wasnt willing to reject his own jooishness. he had a good sense of being a joo. well, few joos do not. they just say, well im not religious, we dont go to temple, we’re basically white. except when it comes to evil racist white privilege and granny dying in muh holocaust, then they are 6000000% jooish.

heh all the cohen fans are also antitrump. and i said, well if a person is a cohen fan they’re prob good people. hahahaha. no they are shitlib antiwhites hahaha. i might be the only trump supporting cohen fan in the world.  now, trump supporting cohen fans, i guarantee you THEY are good people hahahaha. great intersectionality there.

ghoul doxxing himself damn. yeah i am jelly he is a handsome nonnevergf chad, but its good for our people, and it takes courage to do this. i mean his real name hasnt come out, but its just a damn matter of time now.

i mean hows he ever gonna get a job as a phd now? thats what i worry about.

well he could prob get a job at a community college, which is seen as BENEATH the majority of phds…….but i can verify that its NOT beneath a sizable minority of them hahahaha. and i think ghoul would appreciate the chance to actually influence real people. i mean the CC is the great equalizer A LOTTTTTTTTTT more than some bourge university is, i realize that, and im sure ghoul realizes that.

white women voted for trump. white women voted for trump hahahaha. my knee-jerk reaction against white women is BAD, negative, a reflex i want to change. i get Stankface and think, these disgusting negro fooking sluts. these stupid annoying children. emily youcis, get the fook out of here, i dont want any annoying sluts in muh alt right white movement.

i would never hurt or abuse a woman, but my GOD do i TALK SHIT about them NONSTOP. my first reflex is to talk MAD shit about women. and i wish it werent hahahaha.

maybe if i met emily youcis in person and had a 1 on 1 conversation with her i wouldnt dislike her so much hahahaha.

but now im like, ha. women. these bandwagon jumpers. she’s just doing this because its edgy. she’ll be gone in ONE YEAR. I’ve been pro-white for six years hahahahah and just getting deeper.

its SAD that my FIRST REACTION to white women is one of dislike, negativity.

bbbbut im in a woman hating phase right now, it will pass.

i will be in a woman hating phase until i get over HER, which will take 2 full years hahahaha.

so if i am still hating women in july 2017, then i should work on that hahahaha. that is my deadline hehehe.

but yeah i can convince myself that white women arent all bad (i dont really care about nonwhite women, they can ALL be degen pigs, disgusting animals, and i just dont care, because theyre not “My Women.”) when i remind myself, 53% of white women voted for trump hahahaha. i mean thats a powerful Logic Bomb hehehehe.

basically, Not All Women, and Not Even MOST Women, would Heartless Hurt Me Deeply. Not Even MOST Women would have disgusting casual negro sex.

that is my Positive, non pessimistic mantra for the day haha. NOT EVEN MOST WOMEN. are evil children. or just destructive bratty out of control children, 50 foot baby with 600000000 machine guns.

come on. just pay a person to do what you dont want to do. it doesnt even have to be a professional. just hire the dr nick of relship counselors hahaha. pay tyrone off the street 20 bucks for crack to be a messenger of bad news. hey i dont like giving bad news either.

applied for 3 jobs. called one thing “payroll clerk” in cover letter even though official name is “payroll assistant.” WHOOPS auto disqualified! this is the same company i really really really wanted the IT job at. a health care company with good reputation. i also applied for a financial job at that same time which they mentioned in the IT interview, i said I’d be happy with either but was 60 40 into the IT job re better fit. i was reallllllly hoping to get the job. got nothing. also did not even get interview for financial job. NOW i just applied for payroll job at this company. i KNOW they are growing like wildfire because they told me that at the interview. they plan to double in size in 2 years.

applied for PT general office clerk job at health care “business” company. have applied for this SAME job like 4 or 5 times, ALWAYS get rejected. then it opens again a month later, then i apply again. get rejected again. well, sometimes its a FT version of basically the same job. diff req numbers each time so i COUNT it on muh sheet as a new job. numbers up.

onyl spent 178 hours on Job Search. Maybe i need to spend at least 500 hahahaha.

i would much rather just pay the 2100 dollars that these hours are worth at 12 dollars an hour rate and have someone else do this work for me hehehehe.

just all so fookin retarded. i cant help but feel if i were like 22 years old instead of 10ish years older than that, they would be more willing to hire me and i wouldnt have to do 28 goddam interviews.

god damn j1zz burping cvnt.

well did good today on calories at least. and technically on job apps, got 4 done. beating the avg of 3 hahaha.

i mean sheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeit.

yeah i mean TRY to give me the BENEFIT OF THE DOUBT. 2.7 years, you think you’d be “entitled” to the BENEFIT OF THE DOUBT. this might not be the worst case scenario. maybe he wasnt a huge liar. maybe thats why he was always trying to hang out. maybe thats what he said in those emails i deleted. maybe i shouldnt ahve overreacted so much. yeah i know he overreacted too but what would i do if i started liking a friend? i mean yeah thsi is an uncomfortable conversation, but he’s not a bad guy, he means well, we were good friends once, i’ll send my mom, or a mutual friend, or a shrink, or pay a black crack bum 20 bucks, to be the bringer of bad news for me.

the fact that she couldnt do ANY of that tells me that she was ANGRY and HATEFUL towards me and WANTED to PUNISH me for HURTING her.

but yeah i’ll never know. going down that rabbit hole again. wouldnt be going down it if i had some MJ, or a JOB, or other women to hang out with, or more friends to hang out with. i mean i have acquaintances who will prob go to the bar tonight…..but i dont really want to go to the bar! but i should go to the bar just to be social right?

yeah but its so loud and packed you cant even TALK to anyone or HEAR anyone. you cant be social when you literally have to scream in someones ear. is it that bad that i avoid these sort of situations? why cant i just go to someones house and play vidya and games and MJ and we can talk at a normal volume and actually hear each other?

but i feel ashamed showing myself when i dont have a job.

and i havent had a job in 16 months hahahaha.

well, i am ok with doing my weekly thing tho.

sooo……do i want to do that thing on saturday night then?

well i mean….i dunno. i wish there were other social options other than the bar, or that social game. for example, a friend i could just hang out with at a home, play vidya, play games, watch tv, take mj hahahaha. MAYBE take mj. i am lacking friends that i am close enough to do that sort of stuff with. to actually have relaxed banter. my other acquaintences are big on sports and tv, i dont know shit about sports and tv. i try to talk about it but i cant get very far. its HARD WORK hahahaha.

when you go down from 36 waist to 34 and have to switch from L underoos to M hahahaha. and XL t shirts to L.

 

 

 

 

MEN HAVE VERY HIGH COMPETENCE WITH LOW EXPERIENCE, WOMEN HAVE NO COMPETENCE WITH VERY HIGH EXPERIENCE

oct 2

ok used this thing called coinpatrol to set up a bitcoin email alert to send me an email when the price drops more than 4% in one day. then i know I should think about buying hehehehehe. surprised coinbase doesnt have this. why not? prob because it costs money to develop and implement hehehehe. cuts into their profits goy.

so how come coinpatrol can do it? i guarantee they have WAY less money than coinbase.

explain this to a caller right now! you’re the expert!

http://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/breaks-breaking-up/593201-girlfriend-dumped-me-unexpectedly-fight-her-give-up

got to stay away from reddit. just go to loveshack instead. i dont even know. loveshack COULD be worse. but at this point its better to take the devil you DONT know hahaha.

ok did 1 app of the day at stupid gay hospital that alwasy rejects me and is unprofessional as fook HR dept. because i can do these apps in 4 minutes and not 14 and didnt want to think at all cuz its sunday hahahaha.

also i didnt understand she was Checking Out Permanently from the Rel. I thought we were just going through a rough patch but that she just wasnt in the process of moving out. i wish she had TOLD ME hey just fyi, im moving out permanently right now. just so you know. no we ARENT gonna talk about this. im getting out as we speak.

because that is not whats implied by “i miss you too, of course well hang out soon”

hehehehe.

and i was too desperate and blind to read the nonverbal signs. but how about giving some verbal signs too, like, yeah, things arent looking real good for this, i dont think i can do this anymore, lets end this hahahaha.

they say not to be a perfectionist…..but you kinda HAVE to be! well, if not 100% perfect, then youhave to be #1 out of all the competitors. not #2. #1. the best. you have to be The #1 Best option among the options for the job, for the woman.

you can be GOOD, you can be CLOSE, but if you’re not #1, then the end result is 100% rejection, same as the retarded mongoloid at the bottom of the heap. private pyle.

and people say dont be a perfectionist…..but you HAVE to be to be successful in life. and then when you see people who are moderately successful in life (like that woman) who are not that impressive. im smarter and better than her!!!!! she’s perfectly average, even a little below average!

but im also not as smart as i think i am.

and then on bad days i think i am really stupid, and i am not really THAT stupid either.

well if she and other normies can be perfectly average and still be moderately successful, then I am probably average too, then why arent i moderately successful? because I’m not THE BEST? THEYRE not the best either!!!!!! they are just AVERAGE!!!!!

you shouldnt be able to be moderately successful if you are Just Average! You should have to be THE BEST in order to be moderately successful!!!!

for someone who naturally asks WHY? WHY? to be able to move on without why, to accept that why doesnt matter, is frustrating. whether its a woman dumping you in a harsh way, or somethign at your job that you SHOULD be able to explain, but cant, and even your employer doesnt care why, because to find out why would cost too much, for too little reward. why? i dont beleive it. show me those calculations.

http://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/coping/597008-dealing-regrets

sheeeeeit. i think the biggest dealbreaker for me is not mudsharking, not even abortions, but just being a damn high number slut.

well, i have been willing to date high number sluts though, as long as they were qt and young. actually having children would probably be the dealbreaker. i have never been INterested in a woman who had children.

but I HAVE been willing to Date women who:

  1. were high number sluts
  2. had mudsharked
  3. had had abortions

so…..SEE!!! I AM WILLING TO COMPROMISE AND LOWER MUH STANDARDS!!!!!!!

now i never was interested in a woman who was ALL THREE. well…..i just dont know do I? its a lot harder to prove they have mudsharked or had abortions than to prove they are a slut. women will openly admit to being with a lot of guys, but arent as willing to admit theyve been with muds, or had abortions. you gotta be man enough to ask them.

ht     tps://heartiste.wordpress.com/2016/09/29/the-wages-of-sluttery/

i think heartiste might have officially come out as a 1488 WN. i hope he does. i mean he’s definitely sympathetic.

women have lots of male friends. men do not have many women friends. WOMEN do not have many women friends. therefore, we can concluded that women are shittier friends/people than men. Corrollary: women only have all these men friends because the men have ulterior motives hahahaha. want to fook them. no this doesnt mean all the men are dishonest NiceGuys. it just means they are desparate, sad, and lonely, desparate for female contact because they don’t have any.

jeez there is such drama going on at damn TRS, people getting banned left and right, infighting o rama, so stupid, a guy i really like was banned, and i dont agree with the banning, but if i complain about it, i will get banned, because its a fascist forum. because we are pro fascist. so what happens when the fascist admins ban people you like. you just keep silent and fall in line? it just seems all so fookin stupid. i dont dislike the guy who banned him, im just disappointed he went ahead and did that. i like both guys. banning should be for true enemies, traitors, subverters. and the guy who got banned was none of that. he just refused to stop talking to some people who had ruffled the higher ups feathers. damn.

also some cliquish bullshit that implies that TRS is softer on phaggotry than they should be. and i think there has been some hot heads and overreactions and misunderstanding, and good people get mad and ban other good people, and it leaves you with a sour taste.

so i hope they unban this one guy in particular.

its not enough to make me stop supporting TRS…..but if they keep doing stuff like this, that is not a good way to be.

theres just several cliques, a schism developing, a pro gay and an anti gay side. so fookin stupid. kinda related to how common filth fell out with the TRS people. now its a similar thing with natt and IM. ie, they are all on the CF side (very anti gay) who say that TRS is a pro gay side because they like MW and “Grindr Greggy” and richard spencer.  dont have a strong opinion on spencer, but I do like MW and GJ, but I also like florian who just got banned from TRS, but I think CF is too blackpill, I kinda like natt, i dunno, this drama is so retarded.

for what its worth, i dont think florian is a major instigator, possibly CF and slavros are. and natt.

this sorta shit has gone on forever with Political Movements. But I like florian and this is pretty disappointing, i really dont think he should have been banned. maybe he will be unbanned. people have been unbanned before.

in the final analysis i would end up on the pro-phag side because i am that big on supporting MW. i feel a Great Connection and Intimacy with him hahahahahaha because he was a despairing neet like me who threw his youth away and had many years of failure and no normies can understand that, and many alt righters are normie chads in that respect and dont understand it.

they will ALWAYS condemn MW because of his past, nothing he says or does now will ever be good enough for these Purity SPiralers hehehe. then they in turn say anyone who uses the term PUrity Spiral is a Phag Enabler. so thats me i guess. a phag enabler. a degen sodomite.

i just dont think its a huge problem, and i will even tolerate repentant gays. i think the muchhhhhhh bigger problem is degenerate slut WOMEN. and again, hate the sin not the sinner here. but i GUARANTEE that pound for pound, female promiscuity and casual sex is 1488000000000000000000000000 times a bigger problem than gay sex. like 1 out of 50 men is gay. 25 out of 50 women are sluts. COME ON. and im just talking about white men and women here.

anyway it sounds like iron march is attacking TRS more than TRS is attacking IM, which is not at all, TRS is just ignoring IM and banning IM sympathizers. and i guess the trs admins decided florian was too much of an IM sympathizer. doesnt mean im still not disappointed! I really liked florian! I hope florian is unbanned! I will still follow florian!

well the admin made an effortpost describing the situation so i appreciate that. im not asking for IM or natt to be unbanned. i just think florian got a bit of a raw deal.

BASICALLY, people like natt, common filth, and slavros of IM are pretty much anti-TRS and denounce TRS as phag-enablers, because TRS is friendly with spencer, greggy, and MW. those 3 guys go on twitter and talk shit about TRS. therefore, i can understand why TRS would not want these people on podcasts promoted on the TRS site.

I would still give florian the benefit of the doubt though. maybe just give him a tempban, or not advertise the episodes that had natt on. florian has the right to talk to whoever he wants, and TRS has the right not to promote those episodes. and natt and cf are overreacting by saying TRS is phag enabling. I read “grindr greggy” for years before TRS even existed. and I am pretty damn defensive of MW. I REALLY do not like people dissing MW. ive never heard florian dissing TRS or MW, thats all Im saying.

anyway. i was gonna say, women have WAY more experience than men being in relships, long term relships, being with several guys for a year, 2 years apiece……yet they are still INCOMPETENT AF, ESPECIALLY given all the EXPERIENCE and TIME they had. HIGH EXPERIENCE, VERY LOW COMPETENCE. in terms of learning lessons, becoming mature, getting good at skills like communication, problem resolution, compromise, communication, etc.

meanwhile, men have much less experience, AND much much MORE Competence! I have learned lessons and skills that women who have spent 5, 10 years of their lives In Rels have Not Yet learned……and Ive spent 0 minutes In A Rel! The Shit I’ve learned just from One sided pining, and friendships, and reading, and being rejected, and aborted pseudo-dating, i’ve learned more than most women learn from 5,6,7 solid YEARS of being IN a REAL rel!!!!!!!!

DAMN!!!!!

That woman was in a rel for 5 years with a guy, lived with him for years, spend 1000000s of hours having secs and being intimate with him, people saying i luv u to each other and seeing each other every day, and i have experienced NONE of that, yet I am STILL more Competent and Skilled and Mature and Knowledgeable than a Woman who has LIVED that LIFE for YEARS!!!!!! What does that tell you about womens AWARENESS and Maturity and Intelligence and Ways of Thinking???!?!?!?!?!?!?!??!?!

I am not just talking about her, but women in general.

well……i am just making assumptions again! maybe she DID KNOW a lot of shit, it was just a matter of COURAGE. she didnt have the COURAGE to do the right thing, so she just AVOIDED it. doesnt mean she DIDNT KNOW any better. she KNEW better, just didnt have the COURAGE to follow through with it.

who cares it was SIXTEEN MONTHS AGO.

but i said it would take TWO SOLID YEARS to get over.

just wish I had some MJ to help me get through those two long years tho!!!!!!

and also a damn job that I could work without panicking and freaking out and having damn terrified RUN AWAY flight or flight reaction!!!!!

sheeeeeeeeit.

oct 3

sheeeeeeit. trying to prep for phone interview tomorrow. glassdoor suggests that the job could pay close to 40k or 42k. 20 to 21 an hour. when i am only looking for 12 an hour. so now I gotta up THAT to look like im not desperate and below their league. well then WHY did their highly qualified HR wimmin with a masters degree pick ME for the phone interview?

also wish i had more exact stories from my old job. i copied some old cases but i neglected to copy my BEST cases.

so thats a regret. whenever i had a big problem or a ridiculous case at work, i should have wrote down as many details as i could, really just copied the whole case itself, and then spun it like what could i do to really save the day here, even if i didnt, and then tell that detailed, heroic, epic story in future interviews. but none of the cases i copied out of there were really THAT great.

its funny. even in my hardest college classes, i never felt like “this is too hard for me, i cant handle this. this is too complicated. im too dumb for this.” because i knew that somewhere out there, there was an answer to the problems, even if the teacher sucked and the book sucked, and if the problem sucked too much, you just gave it your best shot, got 1%, and didnt really care, cuz no one was gonna really BITCH at you about it, AND later you would probably be corrected and learn how to do the problem anyway. you were given readings and problems and lectures on HOW to do the shit. you knew about exams and deadlines from the beginning of the term. sometimes your instructor even HELPED you prepare for exams, like here’s what you really need to know, focus on this, not so much that, let’s take some questions and make sure we understand so and so.

and you NEVER had to explain anything to some bitch who was bitching you out for being an incompetent idiot who was bad at your job. it wasnt such a big deal to get stuff wrong.

your “team” and managers didnt resent you for making mistakes, your “customers” didnt resent you for making mistakes. you didnt really have a team. you didnt have customers. you just had an instructor who was like, welp you got this question wrong, its not the end of the world, and I will help you get your grade up if you are willing to put in the work. im not gonna BITCH at you for getting it wrong. I sorta want to help you understand these concepts better.

our stupid job was the type of job that REALLY made you want to DRINK. like oh god i cant believe i survived that day, OH GOD, I need a STRONG drink RIGHT NOW. and then you would CHUG some whiskey or scotch or vodka equal to at LEAST 1.5 or 2 shots worth, just chug it straight from the bottle. and THEN you would be like wewlad, ok, welp i HAD to a serious SHOT, now I will have a serious DRINK to unwind. then you pour a sipping drink equal to at least 2 or 3 shots. basically a minimum of 5 drinks to unwind from EVERY day.

5 drinks every workday will eventually turn you into an alcoholic and also the hangovers will become a problem. for work.

also, if you NEED 5 drinks, youre not gonna stop at 5. you will say shit, might as well have another. and another. the 5 really easily turns into 10. then youre shitfaced drunk and have to work the next day.

note: i never did any of this. and thats kind of a miracle. i mean i could see drinking honestly HELPING you in this situation.

i am surprised more people didnt drink ON the job. probably because you were in close quarters and could probably smell it.

but yeah every day i went in there, it felt like an Exam I Couldnt Handle, that I wasnt prepared for. Sure I generally got SOME test anxiety whenever i had a college test……but the shit i faced every day at the job was WORSE, because i never felt prepared, AND I had to talk to people who were bitching about their problems and thought I had the knowledge and skills to fix them…..when i actually knew just as much or less than they did.

oct 2 received millennial woes tshirt. not bad woesy. manlet woes lad hahahahaha.

well you know why people arent interested in their race being genocided, because they are too busy working 60 hours a week and then worrying about their job all other waking hours of the week. they simply dont have time to think about their race being genocided because all they can think or do is work. and beleive me theyre not happy about it! they wish they could think about anything else! when i was into the full swing of working, i could not follow news or racial stuff at all! i wanted to, but i was just too exhausted! I was so focused on day to day survival that i could not even THINK about what is happening to the white race!

i mean i CARED sure, but i cared more about how the hell i was going to survive the firing squad every day, the 10 hour Dissertation Defense where you hadnt spent 5 years researching and writing and thinking about your dissertation, your were basically plopped down to defend someone elses shitty dissertation in a field you knew nothing about.

if you had a 12 week boot camp like you do for boot camp, they would probably teach you some Fallback Training so that when you got weird shit, you could just Fall Back On Your Training and go through the motions and fake it till you make it.

but when you have shitty training, you just sit there and go uhhhhhhhhhhhhh like a deer in headlights and say i got nothing. i really have no idea. and youre stuck with me here. my higher ups dont have time to talk to you. youre stuck with me and i dont know what im doing, so bear with me because this IS gonna take a while. you would LITERALLY have just as good a chance trying to fix this yourself by looking at some chinese manual. because thats what im doing. and tyring to figure out what this goddam chinese manual is saying. and your guess is as good as mine.

like going to your doctor and he asks YOU for advice in treating YOUR problem. pretty ass backwards uh?

so yeah a VERY stiff drink is warranted at the end of the day. and if you cant drink, then a bigass spliff or bowl so you can get blazed as fook. i couldnt drink, and honestly getting blazed as fook was better than doing nothing.

my choices were get blazed, take valium, exercise, study shit to try to get a sense of control, go to bed early, and i tried a combination of all of those.

the best was: getting really blazed, then study cases for an hour or 90 minutes, then maybe exercise, then gt blazed some more, then go to bed early.

but yeah i wish there was a book or a mentor who could help you thru the early phases. like goddamn TRAINING WHEELS. and then you take off the training wheels when youre READY, or at least 75% CLOSE to being ready!

oh xfinity comcast i hate you kieran from comcast. not just that they give bad service and are joos, but that they have the AUDACITY to think THIS COMMERCIAL proves that they are improving their service. they put this stuff right out there are WERE SUPPOSED TO BE IMPRESSED? IMPRESSED THAT YOU CAN CHANGED YOUR WIFI PASSWORD? IMPRESSED THAT YOU CAN TWEET TO A SERVICE REP? IMPRESSED THAT YOU CAN SCHEDULE A CALL?????? NO!!!!!!!! NO ON ALL COUNTS!!!!!!!!

as far as customer service goes……learn a lesson from the companies that do it GOOD. (well). Companies that are rated by their customers as having great customer service. and then do what they do. all i know is that zappos and nordstrom have a REPUTATION for good customer service. maybe marriott or hilton too. do what they do.

its hard to think straight when youre panicking because youve never seen this before AND you have no idea how to fix it.

HOW CAN YOU FIX SOMETHING YOUVE NEVER HEARD OF??????

While this situation fills me with panic and dread, the idea Tech Person is EXCITED about the CHALLENGE. they LIKE Bullshitting their ways out of these RIDICULOUS situations.

woman is “ghosted” by man. just like finding/reading “ghosting” stories. this was worse because they were officially dating for 1.5 years. and she still handled it better than i did hahahaha.

https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/living-forward/201511/is-why-ghosting-hurts-so-much

i probably linked this article again but it came up in that reddit

also there are no damn MEN talking about how theyve been ghosted by WOMEN so all these horrible reddit women are saying, “hmm this sounds like a male thing to do”

but yeah fact is reddit is just more interesting and easier to browse and read than loveshack.

heh. if you get put on the state medical mj list……do cops see that whenever they scan your license when you get pulled over? how much work needs to be done for LE to see if you are on that list? would it come up in a regular background check? what about a more serious background check? how many kinds of background checks are there? is the background check to get a sweet 40k a year job in a Good Company more or less stringent than the background check to get in the FBI? or a secret govt clearance? or get a job as a Copper?

heh there was a Creepy Clown sighting a few miles from my house. this has started to become a Real Life Meme in 2016 (actually I remember it earlier, but it seems to be Spiking again in Oct 2016 and imagine halloween has something to do with it) Just a Creepy Clown standing in a parking lot at 2 am waving at cars.

not too far from my house, and really close to HER house. I admit I read the news article sort of wishing to see HER commenting on it. damn. PATHETIC.

some people get the proper perspective, and when the person who GHOSTS them comes crawling back 6, 12, 15 months later, the ghostee says FOOK YOU ASSHOLE, FOOK OFF AND DIE YOU PIECE OF SHIT, which is the appropriate thing to say. her, i would take her back no question and be like i forgive you baby, i can understand why you did this, you were just scared, its ok baby i forgive you.

 

wow. IT TAKES A WHILE FOR SOME PEOPLE TO GET COMFROTABLE WITH SECS, YA DUMB, DIRTY WHORE!!!!!!

and ex boifran WHO IS ALSO HER BEST FRIEND

OH COME ON

PATHETIC.

ABSOLUTELY DEGENERATE.

well its more complicated, this case is, basically she is dumping him because shes still in luv wth her ex, not because he was awkward the one and only time they had secs. so really, nothing too interesting here.

i just hate how women have NO PROBLEM having secs quickly. dont they get NERVOUS? even if it werent degenerate, i would get NERVOUS! i dont KNOW this person! now im showing them my naked body and rubbing our genitalia together? and women have all these goddamn BODY ISSUES ANYWAY!!! and theyre NOT NERVOUS letting STRANGERS fook their naked body??!?!?!?! and they always  forget that women can get pregnant? WTF??!?!?!?!?!!!

you cant touch a womans stomach without them freaking out, but you can know them for less than 2 hours and stick your diseased dick up her cvnt uncovered and take videos and pictures of it. un fookin believable. wearing fooking sleeveless shit to show off their fat arms. yet if you touch their stomach, you get dumped. what idiots.

you get dumped if you dont compliment them the right way. if you compliment them the WRONG way, you get dumped.

yet they let tyrone and achmed spray in their cvnt unprotected.

stop TRYING to make sense of it. even though they dont KNOW its all about reproduction, its STILL all about reproduction, and they choose to have casual sex with the strongest strongman they can find in the short term. doesnt matter if hes the bad type of strong. it only matters that his strength is obvious and blatant and easy to see.

they arent designed to choose a good man for the long term. thats their FATHERS job.

maybe i am going off the deep end here. maybe women CAN make good decisions SOMETIMES. and maybe they CAN have courage and do the right thing SOMETIMES. like for example, ST ANN COULTER. She makes good decisions (except about who she fooks)

and believe me, i could put up with the worthlessness of women a lot better if i just had a nice 12 dollar an hour job and could hold my head up high with that knowledge. just need a JOB and some MJ, the WOMAN is secondary.

well, its also kind of our DUTY as white men to make more white children.

and i guess i could do that with white skanks, but i need to have enough money to take care of my white children. and basically i don’t want to be a white person using a NONWHITE REPRODUCTIVE STRATEGY. it does not BECOME white people to have HAREMS like goddam ARABS or BLACKS.  but we do need to be more dominant and stronger than arabs or blacks, so our women dont leave us for them. because we cant expect our women to have any race loyalty.

BUT if we can train our women…..couldnt we TRAIN them to the point where yes we CAN have some expectations of them? like train a woman to be racist. well, i believe you can train a woman to be racist, you can train a woman to be trustworthy, but you still cant train a woman to make good decisions or be super responsible.

so how do they have these high powered careers?

i mean there are women engineers and shit. you have to have at LEAST a 105 iq for that, even the women. i trust engineers to be smart and make smart decisions. so what about the female engineers? yeah they arent as smart as the male engineers, and yeah they are getting bonus affirmative action points, but i would say they STILL have to have at least 105 iq and be SORTA smart!!!!!

 

NOICE

really r/relships would be easily fixed by just getting MOAR MEN in there. its a god damn estrogen clusterfook which is really ANNOYING.

i just hate how they leave men in horrible ways. every damn woman should take a dumping 101 course. from her father hahahaha. view the end of the relationship as PART of the relship. learn to ACCEPT some RESPONSIBILITIES. show some GOODWILL when you break a poor guys heart. LET him be upset. tell im its NOT HIS FAULT. Respect that you are breaking someones heart. Tell him that no contact would be best. dont say lets be friends. he just wants to be WITH you. Respect the fact that you are PULLING THE RUG OUT on a person. Apologize. Feel BAD about what you’re doing. These are the responsibilities that go along with your RIGHT to end the rel whenever you want, single-handedly. it doesnt come for FREE.

ok. 44 minutes till they call me. sheeeeeit. i havent done anything interviewy for a MONTH. like 34 days.

yeah ive done a .5 “interview” 90 minute written test but no actual talking to people. i HATE talking to people. starting to get nervous.

i mean the worse that can happen is that i spill the spaghetti and sound like a retarded negro. then they just dont call me back. which is essentially the same result as all my other interviews. where i did NOT sounded like a retarded negro, but sounded pretty much like a damn NORMIE!!!!!! sheeeeeeit i COULD have soudned like a retarded autist and it wouldnt have made any difference!!!!!

but yeah i guess its GOOD to get nervous but i still dont like it because i AM being judged and i have to perform. and its a lot different than sitting there at a written test where you have 90mins to 2 hours to really sit there face to face with the test. the test is not judging you, and even the teacher doesnt REALLY judge you if you do bad. actually he wants you to do well, and will PROBABLY make some effort to help you if you put in some effort and ask him. not at all the same thing here. these people are putting you under the microscope looking for any reason to exclude you based on your verbal answers to questions. and the odds are stacked against you 10 to 1 going in. whereas when taking a skool exam, you have a PRETTY good chance of PASSING it!

with job interviews, you have an ALMOST CERTAIN chance of FAILING it!

BIG DIFFERENCE!

22 minutes. come on. 21. welp. i mean i can learn to use a mainframe. i can “learn” to do anything, meaning I can make a flailing, incompetent attempt at doing things, and then say yeah i did it. oh i did it wrong? i thought I was doing it right. whats the right way then? so sorry. I will stay an hour late today and give you a free hour of work to make up for my stupid mistake. so sorry master. and then go home and get drunk and beat my wife and kids hahahaha. that i dont have because women always dump me before i can beat them or impregnate them hahahaha.

BEATING THEM MAKES THEM STAY hahahaha.

18 minutes. sheeeeeit. sometimes when you get nervous you want to Beat Off just to relieve tension even though you are not really Horny Per Se, you’re afraid and anxious and nervous.

11 minutes. feel like an inferior failure hehehehe. real good attitude. looked briefly at linkedin and thought oh these fookin people. getting masters degrees and then getting careers that are in line with that. i just dont understand these NORMIES at all!

i guess this is the benefit of an in person interview, is that right now i would be there, in the suit, announcing my presence, focusing like a boss on the stuff. right now i am just freaking out and dressed like a slob at home. and typing in here 9 minutes before the phone call!

2 hours later

sheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeit that actually went pretty WELL, THANK GOD.

full 60 minutes budgeted by HR lady for Phone Call. impressive. I rambled a bit but was OK. because they said ok you are now invited to an actual interview with the tech manager on tuesday w00t w00t. with a damn pay near 40k and strong 401k matching and 15 days off and health care and MF days sched, etc etc a great bigboy job to get here. almost too good to be true. well ive have interviews with places like that before hehehe. the big 22nd interview.

and then while i was talking to them, voice mail from another place for an autism ABA job. called them back, got The Big 23rd interview. for this friday. now that is just a part time thing but they emphasized an in depth ABA training pogam for the tism. i should tell them i am The Tism Tickler and deal with Autist Sperg Virgin Neets on the internet erryday hahahaahahahahaha

really the job will probably be me wiping “autistic” negro chirrens asses hahahahaha with great struggling. they just wont bend over nicely and let me wipe their asses, they are gonna be running around getting shit all over the place including my face hahahahaha.

well tech that will be the 22nd interview? anyway my real goal is 25 interviews and i am very close now. 452 apps, 23 interviews.

and a damn interview tomorrow for fire extinguisher inspector hahahaha.

well the big thing is this “systems specialist” job with the mainframes. that is the new #1. nice to get these GOOD ones once in a while, although it is more disappointing not to get them. but its somewhat good for the confidence to know that i am IN THE RUNNING for actual good jobs with actual good companies.  the HR wimmin was impressed that i did 2 minutes of research on the company.

DO THIS. THEY REALLY DO LIKE IT.

I mean, I do it all the time. they LIKE it but they still dont HIRE me hahaha.

and i had a YUGE dream with THAT WOMAN last night. as in she was in it a lot, i was talking to her a lot. we were basically living in a dorm together, with at least 6 people living in a kinda big dorm room or mini barracks. she was my roomate. i was trying to talk to her and hang out with her and she was just being very very bitchy and showing no interest. this is normally not a big deal if shes a random woman. BUT SHES NOT A RANDOM WOMAN. and it is so painful to see someone who once cared about you and made time for you, TURN into an ice cold distant bitch. so that was the gist of the dream. as it is with most dreams i have about her. well i guess it is technically BETTER than nostalgically remembering the Nice version of her. and all i am left with is the Bitchy version of her.

super long post here huh. i didnt plan it this way i promise.

also did 14 pushups. did not do any job apps but fookit. had a 60 minute phone interview (counted as .5 an interview lasting 100 minutes for 60 min interview plus 40 mins prep), got TWO invites for actual in person full blown interviews, and also did prep work for fire protection interview tomorrow and printed the shit out. i feel i was prductive enough hehehe.

also did laundry. and just did 3.2 mile powerwalk.

so yeah finally felt a shred of confidence, which i only get after i have an interview for a decent job and i feel i did ok. so i feel confident for like 1 hour a month hhahahahahaha. its kind like how you feel like a BOSS after you bang a hot bitch hahahahahahaha. no, i mean “attractive woman.”

or for that matter, after you cuddle with some Boo or Bae that you Like Like and they give you warm fuzzies.

but yeah i felt last night before i had that stupid dream, i read a pretty good thread on TRS forum on women, and im not gonna paste it here, because that is officially grounds for BANNING hehe. but they were like yeah women are FOOKED but you gotta still do your duty white man. dont worry about finding a red pilled wife, just find a simple semi-conservative normie nonslut, and you can train her. have a strong hand.

and then i thought, shit, i was not strong at all. and if i had been really strong and played my cards right……i bet i probably could have made her TINGLE for me and get interested in me. if i had just had a strong hand. she wouldnt have lost all respect for me, and we would have lived happily ever after. fooked that ass 6000000 times, spent 1488000000 hours cuddling, and had a ton of white babies.  if i had only been strong. women feel totally differently about a strong dominating man, than they do about a weak pussy man. and i was totally a weak pussy.

so that makes me think, really it WAS all my fault, because if I had acted differently, I could have Got The Girl. it wasnt that She Decided we wouldnt be Compatible. if i were a stronger man, she would have decided we were (((COMPATIBLE))). sheeeeeeit.

so i hate That kind of guilt.

well i wont make that mistake again in the future hopefully.

but i may never luv a woman again. and the trs thread basically said, get used to the idea that you as a truly strong red pilled man, are never going to really LOVE a woman ever again.

 

 

MJ IS NOT JUST A GOOD RELSHIP SIMULATOR, BUT A GOOD RELSHIP SUBSTITUTE

sept 29

went to my social event yesterday, saw some mudsharks, and they werent even bad or old or terrible looking. i mean they were bangable! two Cool Cat Black Guys at a table with THREE mudshark white women. UNBELIEVABLE. I mean i blame the women more than the blacks. the women are PICKING these blacks. they certainly dont HAVE to. I tried to memorize the women so I would know to STAY AWAY if I ever saw them on a Dating Website. shit yeah its rustling. and then I think, That Woman is a Mudshark like These whores. Damn. Is she Still a mudshark? did she learn her lesson and say I’ll never go back?

and it doesnt matter! it doesnt matter if she learned her lesson like a good girl, or continued being a negr0 fooking whore like these bad mudsharks!

and even being a mudshark doesnt make you a horrible person, it just means i wouldnt want to date you hahahahaha.

i mean women are so GULLIBLE, they can be persuaded and coerced into doing horrible things!!!!!!

and i am butthurt because they are SO gullible, yet I can’t convince them to committ to ME!!!!!! but these sleazy blacks can easily convince them!

did my 15 pushups today, got 3 apps done, did not go for powerwalk tho. will do one more app.

ok did one more. took forever. my average is steadily rising thru the 13 minute range and will soon get hit 14 hahaha. not that thats HORRIBLE or anything. but remember 1 minute on the average, times 500 applications, is 8 extra hours hehehehe.

had dream last night with a bunch of people i knew years ago and we were having a party in a college dorm hahahaha. which is a really weird envronment and i still have dreams in that environ fairly consistently. i was in one area and was talking to this gurl I remembered from GRADE SCHOOL who was qt and nice and I sorta regret not pursuing her even though I was only 13 years old at the oldest!!!!! and i had even LESS skillz than i do now hahaha. but she appears once in a great while in dreams. she was qt and nice and not a huge whore, and believe me, some gurls started being whores at age 13. if i knew what i was doing, i am very confident she would have been a good GF hehehe.

in the dream i was like just hang on and I will be back in like 20 minutes, i gotta visit my friends on the other floor, then i went there, and it was a sausage fest of pathetic beta men only, all getting raging drunk to escape their foreveraloneness and pretty much having fun doing it. I got swept up with them and they were all being nice and friendly to me and treating me like a guest of honor and it was real hard to get back to That Gurl, and I never did, and then I felt huge regret at having Blown My Chance.

the end hahahaha. because you only GET one chance with women hehehehehe.

stuff like marilyn manson i think represents the nihilism and degeneracy of My Generation, which is slightly too old to be full millennials, and note that millennials would rightfully think MM is stupid and silly. but when you are a young teen when “antichrist superstar” comes out and you want to rebel against stupid christian school, yeah it was perfect timing. unfort i could not see at the time that manson had no substance, no solution, it was just stupid phaggy bullshit. 3edgy5me stuff, and there were much better ways to be edgy than to rebel against White Christian Middle America.  But he is a great example of my age group and where we come from and kinda the canary in a coal mine that something is rotten but we really dont know what it is yet, so lets rant and rave and dress scary and get fooked up on drugs and say fook god and his slave religion!!!!!!!

so thats where i come from. a sense that things are gonna be fooked up, and were gonna rebel against it by being fooked up in the extreme opposite direction, but still a sense of total despair that this really DOES anything or fixes anything. theres no goal. the goal is oblivion and escape and good feels and muh dick and muh euphoria. cowardly and negroish.

the younger kids and millennials are a LOT more goal oriented and less nihilistic. but still degenerate from all the casual sex and cheating they do hahaha.

and what is MM now. a fat old irrelevant has been 50 year old hahahaha.

sez me who ust spent the last 45 minutes reading MM related wikis and learning that his last few albums were received rather well hahahaha.  well i wanted to see if he had mellowed out or matured any since the mid 90s. i guess he has actually.

ok sex is way easier to get than a real relship. EVEN for men.

so if you say youre a virgin people think youre weird, because sex is a low bar, easy to get, low price, even for men. certainly youve had cheap sex with some sluts right?

unless you have a valid reason, like im saving myself for marriage.

and i DID have a valid reason!!! I ALWAYS wanted to save myself for a marriage-like long-term serious monog relship with an official GF, and I didnt want to have quick secs with random sluts!

but i learned that I at least wasnt good at pulling even easy sluts. I know the theory of be masculine, confident, cocky, bold, brash, charming, charismatic, devil may care, but I just couldnt put that theory into practice, when even a damn negro could do that and pull muh white wimmin.

like right now i would take meaningless cheap slutsex…..but i’m finding that even THAT is very hard for me to get!!!!!

but yeah tbh i NEVER wanted to bang sluts, even while i was horny af, and jerking off to degen pron every day, and saying ooooh i wish i could bang these qt college gurls i see every day but im too sissy. EVEN THEN, at the depths of my degeneracy, what I really WANTED was to have a real GF and bang HER, rather than bang random sluts.

“well thats a false dichotomy, people go through stages, those random sluts end up being someones GF at some point, etc”

WRONG hahahaha well I wouldnt want them to be MY gf because once a slut always a slut. once a cheater always a cheater. once a murderer always a murderer. once a mudshark always a mudshark.

QUOTE

[–]Dolomite808 -19 points 8 hours ago
Honestly, she doesn’t owe him shit. Sure it would be nice, but she doesn’t owe it to him.
That said, I don’t think OP should wait around for her. Just as she needs to do what is right for her, he needs to do what is right for him.
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[–]methuser69 21 points 7 hours ago
Right, in the same way that if my wife is sick and wants me to make her breakfast, I don’t owe her shit and I don’t have to do it. She wants me to watch the kids once a month so she can go to her book club? Too bad, don’t owe her shit. This is not how disagreements in relationships work, who cares what is “owed”, in a healthy relationship your partners’ problems are your problems and this is a serious one. What the hell is the value of this comment?
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END

FROM

this is exactly the point i always try to make about “owing” and “entitlement.” No, you’re not ENTITLED to anything, but it would be NICE if the person you thought cared about you treated you with respect and dignity and communicated with you, and gave you some kind of sign of good faith or good will.

because this weird crazy gurl wants to be celibate for a year but can’t explain why. and YES the explanation DOES matter, despite what some dumb woman says in the thread about the explanation not really mattering. yes it DOES matter. it would at least give some perspective and show that your gf can THINK and COMMUNICATE about big decisions.

how do these people get masters degrees, and make 50k a year where making decisions and communicating is a big part of doing your job, but they cant explain to their bf why they want to deny him secs for a year?

well this gurl is a little younger, but in 5 years she will be a masters degree career professional.

heh reading r/relships does not make me dislike women any less. because what they say and what they do is so vastly different. usually this is a good reason not to like somebody………but its just the way women ARE. so its HARD to like women. because you dont like PEOPLE whos actions dont match up with their words, but you have to accept thats a MALE thing. just like being rational, logical, being racially aware, being political, caring about honor, being consistent, being loyal, being loving and good and moral and mature hahahahaha. women just arent CAPABLE of these things. dont hold them to such unrealistic standards. but DAMN is is ANNOYING to hear them TALK and give their OPINIONS. if you actually listened to them, took them seriously, and did what they said, they’d lose all respect for you and dump you hahahahahaha. like doing the shit they bitch guys out for on this sub. “Like, literally listen to her and respect her feelings.” shit. if a guy actually did that, they would lose all respect for him and dump him.

sept 30

but yeah, /relships would be a lot better without the stupid women giving their stupid women opinion on stupid drama. even the antigun leftist shitlib men are more logical and less annoying than these confident women who think they are smart and funny. a confident woman is the most annoying obnoxious rude bitch ever hahahahaha.

i prefer unconfident women so i can control and manipulate and dominate and abuse them hahahahahahahahaha

NO, i really dont want to ABUSE women. i just want a woman that respects me and wants to be with me and makes any EFFORT with me rather than just saying welp im done with him!

but i also see tons of dumb women putting up with a LOT worse than me!!! and not immediately walking out on that guy! sometimes its an issue of the guy being weak and clingy too! and they dont immediately leave!!!!

she doesnt OWE it to you to work on shit. she doesnt OWE it to you to stop banging other guys, you controlling clingy creeper. she doesnt OWE it to you to try to be nice to you. she doesnt OWE it to you to not throw you away like a piece of garbage and break your heart haahahhahaha and you are the bad guy if you get upset by it.

no jk youre not the bad guy if you get upset by it, but youre the bad guy if you say pleeeeeeeeaaaase just talkkkkkkk toooo meeeeeeeee please respond!!!!!! hehehehe.

tbh i am doing a lot better regarding HER than i was, much better than i was, but i am in a pretty bad state regarding my own confidence and being able to be a normal adult. NO confidence in my ability to do a job or get a woman. feel totally unworthy and unable. but at least i am getting over HER hahahaha. but im not fully over here. probably take another 6 months, where i will be in a woman hating phase too hahahaha.

no i think i said feb 1 2017 was my deadline.

logic is not manipulation you dumb B’s!!!!!

when you dump a guy one day and then beng a guy the next day, yes that IS wrong in ALL situations ya dumb B’s! because youre broken up, so it doesnt matter. bullshit.  take at LEAST a month before fooking or even dating other guys.

anyway. what i wanted to say today is that i look back and i am EMBARRASSED at the way i acted. like shit. it was SO OBVIOUS, but i couldnt see it at the time. just let her go, shes not into me, just back away. why couldnt i do that??!?!?!?! why was I such a pathetic omeega clingy creeper? because i was in luv with her and these feelings really compromised me in every way possible. but in hindsight it is really embarrassing.

but it didnt HAVE ulterior motives! it was important for me to have her understand that.

of course i can see how it would look ike ulterior motives.

basically i dont want to be the little maniplating nice guy bitch like the stupid xkcd comic “friends.”

but i didnt have ulterior motives. my feelings changes midway through, then i started acting different, and she noticed that, but i was too scared to come out and say it.

so yeah i guess i learned a lesson: blurt it out after like 1 month rather than waiting 10 months.

but yeah i just want to DEFEND myself too: i wasnt denying or pretending anything. i was acting like i liked her. i just was too scared to state that directly “i like you.” but i was TOTALLY acting like a schoolgirl with a Big Crush and I AM confident that she noticed that.

it wasnt like she asked me, do you have feelings for me, and i said no! if she HAD asked me I would have said YASSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

eli the computer guy says he is NOT jooish. should we believe him? hahahaha.

he is a pretty good guy and i dont WANT him to be jooish, IMHO. i would PREFER that he was white. but its hard to tell with him. the beard, the name. but i wish i had a guy like this when i was struggling at a tech job. lots of people apparently feel the same way. cuz he is good. explains stuff well, in a world where explanations are hard to come by.

anyway to work in Tech you need to be an Abrasive Thick Skinned Asshole who thinks theyre smarter than everybody else and is a Dick All The Time, and is Super OVerly Confident. Obviously I am none of these things!!!!!

Tech is for Nerds, but not meek wimpy nerds, but Tough Dickhead Asshole Nerds!

also I never really loved TECH. I just managed to get a tech job because they hired ANYONE, and also i am probably in the 61% percentile of tech savvy. which was more than enough to get that job. but i was not a thick skinned asshole. thats for sure! if i were then i would have survived. also i prob would have gotten a gf by age 25 at the latest hahaha.

did muh pushups today. got muh 1 app in. did not eat a too large brunch hehehe. got some stuff done by 1:35 pm.

why does GOD want me to be a loser? why does GOD want me to never meet a nice woman, or to work a survivable job? is GOD trying to TOUGHEN ME UP so that I become strong enough to do these things? WELL ITS NOT WORKING! I AM ALMOST 35 YEARS OLD AND CANNOT GET A WOMAN OR SURVIVE A JOB!

Its kinda like assholes that think they know what they’re doing and they dont, and they confuse the difference between desensitization and flooding, when trying to “fix” their friend or BF or GF of a bad habit or phobia.

if someone is scared of snakes, you dont dump them in a pit of snakes. that is flooding and that will give them a panic attack and maybe a damn heart attack and kill them.

it doesnt take a GENIUS to understand this distinction!!!!!!!! its pretty OBVIOUS!!!!!!!

what you want to do is GRADUAL, incremental, baby steps desensitization. have them be in a room with a small snake. then have them touch a small snake. etc etc.

well going months and years without smoking MJ has taught me that I certainly dont NEED MJ……but by god do I WANT it. right now I WANT it. sheeit last time i smoked MJ a few weeks ago, i didnt even really LIKE it because i felt socially incompetent and anxious. but i still wanted to have my own MJ and smoke it by myself. and that is what i want right now, or really any time i want it. I dont want to take it with other people ever, just alone. unless it is one on one and I get along REALLY well with the person. but not in a group of like 4 or more people.

after a ruff day of work it was PERFECT. I would smoke some, then listen to some chill music, and then start studying work shit, to better prepare and understand. then smoke some more and go to bed and ideally get some good rest (whcih the mj def helped with!!!!) for another big long stressful day tomorrow.

oh yeah millennial woes tshirt on the way.

but yeah MJ can give me those Warm Fuzzies kinda similar to what a woman does……with the added benefit of its MUCH more available than a woman. its a woman for when i cant get a woman, which is always. a great GF SUBSTITUTE. Not just a good relship simulator, but a decent relship SUBSTITUTE!

awww yeah. just had 450th job app. perfect job. day shift M-F job at hospital that always rejects me and called me in for one abortive pseudo-interview. why do i keep applying here. because they have reasonable sounding entry level jobs and they are a huge employer in the area. and that is really all the reason anyone needs!

but yeah pretty sure they are strongly antigap hahaha. i guess thats their right. whatever. bitches.

http://bbs.dailystormer.com/t/white-women-volunteering-at-calais-having-sex-with-multiple-migrants-per-day/55556

heheheh i am pretty close to anglin re my view on women. i just have no evidence to believe they are capable of making good decisions independently. even white women. white women left to their own devices WILL throw white men under the bus in favor of ooga booga strongman nonwhite migrant thugs because who is more MASCULINE. who shows more RAW POWER. women just dont CARE about race. it’s up to MEN to secure the white race. white women will just mate with the strongest man, and white men need to BE the strongest men.

WOMEN WANT TO BE CONTROLLED BY MEN WHO DONT PUT THEM ON A PEDESTAL!!!!!

This is why they are often with abusers! because abusers DONT GIVE A FOOK!

You/we/me need to also not give a fook!!!!!

some woman youre in love with, being used by negros and kebabs as a KVM BUCKET!!!!!!!

SHE WANTS TO BE DOMINATED!!!!!!

heh i am just angry because That Woman was a Beginner Mud Shark and she was a nice gurl and not a fat ugly trash and she might even stop being a mud shark. but anyway this triggers me when people say “who cares, the mud shark women are all fat ugly trash whores” because i know they are not.

so, maybe pretend you are a big tough abuser, but you dont actually have to abuse the women.

…..but maybe if you smack them ONCE, its a great return on investment, because she will be super faithful to you, and since you’re not REALLY an abuser, its not like you have to KEEP smacking and beating her.

because youre not a trashy nonwhite brute, you feel pretty bad about beating women, like you can’t bring yourself to do it.

this is why i am such a fan of spanking women. you give them a smack in a really very harmless way, you show her you wont tolerate her misbehavior, you show youre not afraid to smack her, but youre not REALLY beating or abusing her, and she rewards you with love and loyalty and effort.

i would have LOVED to spank That Woman, but…….you cant really spank a woman youre not fooking.

but its not hard to fook women! they fook men theyve JUST met!!!!!

then you can spank them, then they wont dump you, then they will stick around long enough for it to be a real rel!

but yeah basically i wasnt at the point where I COULD spank her. but its not hard to get to that point. once youve banged them, you can pretty much do whatever you want with their body hahahahahahahahahahahahahaha with their consent of course. and you can bang a gurl within 2 hours of meeting her.

anyway. basically, if a gurl doesnt have a GOOD FATHER, stay away. or at least never get feels for her or use her as more than a practice gurl. actually if you treat her like garbage she might be GOOD to you! so i dunno.

i think about these other sluts that dumped me, the one her parents were divorced, but she seemed to get along well with her father, had a good rel. respected and liked her father. well maybe her father let her get away with being a negro fookin slut and ddnt care, cuz they were joos.

but STILL i cant imagine even a jooish father not caring if his daughter to be a slut!!!!!!!

well she didnt SEEM like a slut though, and wasn’t a HUGE slut, just a SMALL slut. so the father prob just didnt know.

but yeah. spanking. its such a GREAT IDEA. it gives me HOPE and is a candle in the darkness of despair. seriously. i mean there are some bad guys out there that will punch a woman right in the face. i could never do that. i couldnt even open handed slap a woman in the face. but a spanking seems very doable. if your woman is distant and does not respect you or communicate with you, SPANK HER.

how much? i dunno. a decent amount. you dont want her to forget it. i dunno. 30 times. 1488 times.

you try treating women like human beings cuz your a man, thats how you treat everyone, and then they treat you in a way that you thought no human being could treat another human being. and then women on relship forums tell woman haters like you that you should, like, you know, maybe treat women as, like, you know, actual literal human beings, you controlling clingy creeper??!!?!!

before 2010 it was cool and rebellious to be liberal. now it is cool and rebellious to be conservative. and i think that is great. teens are much more conservative and alt right, while their parents are baby boomer shitlibs. children way more conservative than their parents. this is awesome. shit, children even more conservative than their GRANDPARENTS. i love it. this gives me hope for the future. that and spanking women hahahahahaha.

took a valium where normally i would take a nyquil. but i am getting over nyquil, it just makes you so slow the next day, its not worf it m8. even WEED doesnt do that.

i also hate how that viceland weediquette streetshitter krishna calls it WEED WEED WEED all the time. way to make your drug sound legitimate, degen. shit. even when he talked to this old bearded swami hippie, the old guy told him dont call it WEED call it CANNABIS. And I agreed with the old degen. WEED just SOUNDS degen. words matter hahahaha. language matters.

anyway this valium doesnt seem to be doing anything. although i am drinking coffee too hehehehe. i mean i drink coffee all day long.

she doesnt OWE it to you to stop talking to and texting her X regularly. were just friends now.

i just cant understand or relate to this at all. if i talked to HER regularly still, it would because i still wanted her.

and now that women know what “gaslighting” is, they are convinced that every is gaslighting. no, sometimes you just have no idea what the hell is going on!!!!!!! you completely misunderstand and you shut down all communication that would help you understand!!!! you dont WANT to understand!!!!!!!!

 

 

 

13 DOLLARS AN HOUR

aug 31

sheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeit.

http://pastebin.com/xUh6Djef

put this in sidebar, i want to caputre the worst article ever AND a few hundred comments

nymag open marriage cuckoldry article by sonmore

INFAMOUS

http://pastebin.com/67FxT9wi

here is the sequel / follow up with the man and his “wife.”

the first article is timeless, classic, godawful, and i will put it in the sidebar As A Ghastly Monument (Ruins of Beverast reference/credit.)

i might be moving Towards A New Cover Letter Hermeneutic where the new Way is really to hit them HARD with a Fully Tailored, Individualized First Paragraph that cups their balls and sucks their dick and appeals to their mission and demonstrates my passion for their company and how i can add value and increase profitability by specifically matching the requirements of the specific job, in the culture of this specific company, addressing these particular pain points, and why i am THE SINGLE BEST CANDIDATE out of millions, and this, and no others, IS my Dream Career.

in other words, REALLY step up my Tailoring of the CL. I tailor the CL a TINY bit, changing a few words or sentences each time. so, do more than that.

also, attempt to aim for the Average Salary of my state, and NOT the whole US, which is 28k, and my state is a LITTLE below that.

yeah 12 to 16 is a ridiculous range to give. i should just say 12 to 14.

or 12 to 13 hahahaha.

people who have college careers and make 40k + cringe at talk like this. they never mention numbers. i mention numbers ALL DAY.

yeah i guess i used to think it was VULGAR too. but now I just think its Keeping It Really Real. How Much Does The Market Say You Are Worth?

no its not the sum total of Who You Are…..but it DOES tell me a LOT about what Your Employer thinks you are Worth, and What Kind of Life you live, and probably the type of people you associate with.

(People tend to associate with people who make about the same amount of MONEY as they do. So I feel a little weird when people who make WAY MORE MONEY than I do, huge winners, invite me to hang out with them. Of course I accept the invitation graciously.)

so yeah fook this 15 dollars an hour bullshit. i am willing to pay my dues and make 13 dollars an hour like the people in muh subaverage state. those fancy phaggots in joo york and phag phagcisco can take their 15 dollars an hour and pozz each others assholes with it. besides in those cities it costs 600000k per month to live in a one room shack tiny house, and it costs 90000000$ for a package of ramen. no thanks.

if a man is complaining about COMMUNICATION all the time, and his wife/gf is never WILLING to COMMUNICATE, and she’s always SHUTTING ME OUT, and so DISTANT, and putting up a WALL, she has to be willing to COMMUNICATE, well then thats him signalling that HE has HUGE communication issues, he’s projecting, HE’S really the one who doesnt know how to COMMUNICATE hahahaha.

i was watching married at first sight and derek was complaining about his distant, unwilling, stubborn, bitchy horrible (but very bangable) wife, who simpyl would not give him a chance. he is kinda a douchebag but he had some GREAT points about communication, where I nodded my head vigorously and said YES. YASSSS. THIS. SO MUCH THIS.

and hes also right that she is no spring chicken at 33, but my god she has a very fookable ass hahahahahahaha. she has to be in the top 10% of attractiveness for 33 year old women. I would DESTROY her.

and this derek is a pretty masculine man too, i’m sure he would destroy her too, but thats how stubborn she is. she probably would have gladly let him destroy her 5 years ago. now im not sure what she wants. probably a total beta bucks sort of guy. she probably WANTS the total doormat that says anything you want hunny. but i have to wonder, who does she want For SECS, at this moment? she’s always gonna want the masculine guy for secs. so why not have secs with her masculine husbando derek?

unless she’s such a sleazebag that she needs TWO or more men. alpha fooks, beta bucks, and never the twain shall meet. i guess she’s never experienced a best of both worlds alpha who is masculine AND makes a ton of money. but  she’s hawt enough to pull such a man (albeit not necessary without sharing him), and doesnt she meet plenty of powerful men as a Stewardess? like the powerful alpha men in First Class and such?

so yeah i am most fascinated in this couple. then sonia and nick a distant second, and i dont really care about the third couple hahahaha.

basically a 33 year old woman with no children is guaranteed to be SUPER CRAZY. her body is telling her to have a baby RIGHT NOW BEFORE ITS TOO LATE and you have to keep that in mind. i guess its ok if you want to have a baby right now too. but its gonna be real hard to have MULTIPLE babies with this woman. she shoulda started having babies AT LEAST TEN YEARS AGO.

fulton sheen on difference between BAD, and EVIL.

 

hilarious first hour with moishe, not sure if florian mentions the sheen story in this one though

start at 1:47:00. this is exactly where florian makes the point about fulton sheen. this is probably the single best episode of nationalist review EVAR: a full hour of moishe being absolutely ridiculous, natt being natt, a bit by “degenerate dan”, a full discussion and reading of that horrendous nymag cuckold article, AND florian uses that to introduced sheen’s point:

that a bad man simply does bad things, sins, like lie, cheat, steal, hurt, kill.

but a truly EVIL man actively and intentionally works to undermine truth, beauty, and goodness ITSELF. true evil seeks to portray vice as virtue. like the cuckold husband who does disgusting mental gymnastics to portray his cuckoldry as True Luv for his wife. true evil just makes a disgusting mockery of truth, beauty, and goodness.

i didn’t actually hear sheen’s actual story, just florian describing it. but i’ve seen plenty of sheen, and he is pretty badass, and the more i hear of florian, the more i like/luv him. he is possibly the new fulton sheen for 2016 alt right. and he is a very young man, like 23 years old. AND he is in seminary to become a catholic priest. AND he is alt right and joo wise and insanely, autistically smart. AND he has created a better joo character than morrakiu, with moishe the mossad handler.

ok florian is definitely in contention to be man of the year 2016 hahahahaha. i sort of wish he wasn’t becoming a priest so he could have white children. but I like the idea of a 1488 catholic priest too.

shit i would say become a priest and have children ANYWAY. let them kick you out.

actually i think you can become a priest AFTER you have children.

florian should def have children. but I very much appreciate him being a MAN OF GOD.

his regular voice is a little autistic, but he is SUCH a great awesome guy it doesnt even matter. this guy is SO good.

https://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/Fulton_J._Sheen

so yeah. listen to that whole episode. if its not SHUT DOWN by the time this post posts. im downloading that shit again.

the best thing ive heard lately that isnt the fatherland hahahaha. well it does have ryan from the fatherland and i luv him too. great, great men. I would LUV to go to a trs convention and meet these guys.

https://radio.therightstuff.biz/2016/08/31/the-daily-shoah-100-ep-88-part-13-of-14-a-hundred-a-hundred-twenty-episodes/

millennial woes on the new daily shoah!!! (100th episode!) NOICE!! I hope he uses some N words and K words and F words and such and isnt such a nice guy hahaha. i dont think hes even been on the shoah before. ITS ABOUT TIME.

sept 1

had weird dream that i was a Rookie Police Officer just starting out, getting On The Job Training from the guys, and I was very quickly On The Verge Of A Nervous Breakdown, and was very anxious like, whoa guys, i think i’m in over my head, i don’t think im TOUGH ENOUGH to handle this, maybe i’m not cut out for this job, maybe I should quit, I mean really, I dont have it in me! you need a tougher guy!

and the guys were all tough but also generally in favor of me not quitting I think, or they would disrespect me as an inferior pvssy if i quit, and were like, yeah its tough at first, but you just gotta TOUGHEN UP, gotta TUFF GET GOING, gotta not let it bother you, power through it, etc and other platitudes.

i think for most Cops though there is better training than what i experienced in the dream. like when you pay 20 grand to go to Police Academy, that’s where they train you for like 12 weeks hehehehe on all the aspects of being a Cop.

also cops get ongoing paid training because of like lawsuits and shit. peoples lives are at stake, its one of those jobs, like doctors and nurses and shit. lives are in your hands. people could die, and that means million dollar lawsuits, thus you implement official training pogams to Cover Your Ass.

unlike some companies where you dont need to cover your ass so much, and you can Screw and Joo customers with impunity, so it DOESNT MATTER if your people are trained. and the advice from management is, do what you need to do to get them on their way and make/save time and money.

thankfully i never had to Upsell Add On Products and shit. but the employees I was Supporting sure did. and they were generally as poorly trained as we were, and there they were talking to the ACTUAL customers. pressured by THEIR managers to try to sell the customers shit they REALLY didnt need, and also not understanding the products. yet trying to sell them. to people who didnt need them. when the products themselves were overpriced shady bullshit that were thoroughly jooish to the core. buy this extra advanced warranty goy. just in case. only 50 dollars more. just in case of a worst case scenario.

also the company was in general, dying. there is talk the company will be sold. but its a publicly traded company with shareholders. can you have a reverse IPO where a once public company becomes privately held again? i guess you can do esoteric shit with stock buybacks or stock splitting or something.

i guess theoretically the stock price could go SO low, and then there are Equity Firms who might gobble up a Majority Ownership of the company.

i dont know, I don’t have an MBA, I only have like 25 credits of Business Classes, hahahahaha.

which is more than Average, 13 dollar an hour normies have!

but you can also get an ok business sense from working at a company for a few years and just talking to people.

at my company, there was tons of rumors and speculation, among the more savvy people like me, that were even interested in speculation about why was the company doing this, rather than being like idk ikr lol weed lmao.

people like me who were frustrated and wanted to understand why the company and our department was such an egregious, backwards, shameful, disorganized, mismanaged clusterfook, and how it could be improved. well, more training, more actual legit experts who knew what they were doing, more time and money, more quality people actually improving actual quality, more testing, more actual listening to customers, much better executive management who understood the importance of IT as being more than just a Cost Center, etc.

standard!

but yeah its just horribly frustrating to have an angry, stressed person pushing you to fix their problem, because youre supposed to be the expert, fixing problems is your job, and you have no idea what you’re doing, and you look like you don’t know what you’re doing, becuase you really don’t, and you can’t appeal to a Subject Matter Expert in a way that is actually useful for either you or the customer. Most customers would be jsut fine if you said, wow, this is a pretty complex problem, here’s Joe Flabeetz, he’s been here for 2 years and really knows what he’s doing, Joe is great. its much worse when you say, i dont know what to do, let me talk to Joe, and then you “talk” to Joe in a shitty chat room where he is helping 20 other lost souls like you, telling you stuff that doesnt make sense. then you go back to the customer and try to do that thing, and explain it.  NATURALLY, UNDERSTANDABLY, they wonder, can’t you just get Joe over here? he clearly knows what he’s doing, you clearly don’t, so just get him on the case.

but one does not simply just get a SME on the case. because they are just as busy as we are and are not gonna escalate a case without a fight.

you could probably turn newbies into SME’s quicker with REGULAR TRAINING. but again, thats millions of dollars for people who want to get out of here ASAP anyway. or they can just go mad and snapquit like me hahahaha.

it all makes perfect sense: DONT SPEND MONEY IF YOU DONT ABSOLUTELY HAVE TO.

the company can afford to not support their employees, shit they can afford to some extent to provide shitty, overpriced, screwjob jooish service to their customers. anything you can get away with. no exchanges, no refunds. all sales final. don’t like it, complain to the better business bureau bitches. don’t like it, do this shit yourself or go to our competitors.

see thats going too far though! why would you knowingly push your customers towards your competitors?

AND THATS WHY THE COMPANY IS FAILING. it used to be a successful, reputable company. now it is a sinking ship and more people can’t ignore that.

so yeah, i think a large part of why my experience was SO NEGATIVE was the culture of the company, being a large “big dog” old school company that was starting to fail on a massive scale. i mean they will implement retarded changes on a daily basis, yet be so Entrenched that they wont implement the actual Radical change needed. just do stupid spazzout bandaid fire putout bullshit. nothing meaningful, nothing that is good for the long term. short term only.

heh. that woman didnt care. she was just like go with the flow, dont let it bother you, dont bother me about it, i dont care, idk lol, dude weed lmao.

i mean women are not well equipped to have logical, sensible, reasonable, insightful thoughts about Business anyway……… but with all these educated women in careers, i think they can at least go through the motions of talking about business.

well, we did not have alot of those type of women in our department hahaha.

so i’m saying i prefer a more business savvy woman?

NO….i don’t even prefer a more intelligent woman. shit she was intelligent ENOUGH. i think she COULD have been taught to be more business savvy, not that she needed be…..

sheeeeeeeeeeeeeeit, really I just wanted her to talk to me more, be nicer to me, and just have a HALFWAY decent conversation about Our Jobs and Our Company!!!!!!! don’t you have an OPINION on this retardation! it affects you as much as it affects me! and she probably DID have an opinion! she just didnt want to talk to me any more. and i was very upset about that. her withdrawing from me and building a huge wall.

so yeah that was deffo the root issue hahahaha.

and I was very frustrated because I was aware of that root issue, and trying to resolve it, and getting NOWHERE, because I needed cooperation and willingness from her, and she refused to get it.

lets meet, lets sit at the table together, talk, and try to MAKE A DEAL. lets negotiate and compromise and both leave unhappy hahahahahahahahaha. and i was sitting at the table all day waiting for her to show up, and she just no called no showed the whole time.

so yeah that why i was very upset hahahaha.

dont just say dont let it bother you. get a thicker skin. believe me I would love to.

now, I had great conversations with a couple of my male friends at the job, and we all should have been promoted to level 3 and never have to take a call ever again hahahaha. make 18 bucks an hour hahaha.

i wasnt asking her to be as insightful as us, i just wanted her to give SOME effort into thinking about this. i mean it was stupid NOT to have righteous indignation over it, and to just say dont let it bother you, and smoke MJ. you can smoke MJ and still have opinions about this ridiculousness! and partially i was JEALOUS of her ability to DISCONNECT from the job like that, do it so Coolly, yet still miraculously do a “good” job and be liked by everyone. well yeah she was a likeable person hahahaha.

ishould probably give agalloch a second try. should i listen to the above album or “the mantle.” i was torn. i went to youtube and tried to compare the Productions, which one sounded better. they both sounded pretty close but maybe this one has a 5% stronger guitar sound. also, i technically tried listening to “the mantle” like 4 years ago and i was like, yeah this is ok, but i guess im not in the mood for something like this.

i guess now at least i am in the mood to give them a try again. i guess i want something thats like beautiful atmospheric black metal, but very melodic and very easy to listen to, with immediately catchy riffs and melodies and songs. but without being so NEW that it gets TOO much into “post rock” or “blackgaze”. something old enough that it was around when I was young and actually interested in music. the mantle came out in 2002, which is right in my wheelhouse yearwise, this one came out in 2006, when i had stopped caring about music, well, thats not true. i recall i was keeping up on the current work of katatonia and goatwh0re. but not being super duper into it, or into anything. lots of drinking. damn. increasing amounts of drinking. stupid. i stopped caring about new music, or music in general, some dark days.

so 2002 was really a much better year for me music wise than 2006…..but ive already heard a bit of the mantle, and if i like ashes against the grain, i’ll try the mantle. also the mantle is like 68 minutes long, which is way too long for an album. ashes is 59 minutes. still way too long, but better than 68.

and of course in 2014 and much of 2015 i was not interested in music so much either, because worrying about the job, or i was devastated by my loss and failure hehehehe. so i guess ive rebounded to a kind of peak right now of interest in music, as in trying to find NEW music, which is remarkable, cuz much of the time i like to Build A Wall and say yep ive got more than enough music thank you, dont need any new stuff. there’s nothing good left out there. its all hipster phaggot degenerate bullshit. theres plenty of stuff  from before 2000 i havent listened to yet.

and its FINE to close the ranks and circle the wagons….but i dont want to do that more than half of the time. i would always like to be SOMEWHAT open to new music.

and agalloch i think is right in line with stuff that i have enjoyed. like when i was young i enjoyed opeth a lot, i still enjoy their older stuff, and i have always enjoyed “in the woods….” a norwegian sorta black metal group from the 90s that was atmospheric and progressive and avant garde when those things werent NEARLY as cool as they are now.

heh like the other day i wanted to listen to hammerfall and i only ended up listening to the first two songs on the album. and that album was only like 40 minutes. perfect length.

went to jcpenneys. it was a mixed bag. i had high hopes.  saw some beautiful high school girls in there with their Moms for Back 2 Skool shopping. nothing wrong with a 35 year old man ogling 16 year old gurls hahahahahaha.  at that age you really want to Protect and Provide for them, and you would Happily swear an oath to their Faithful Fathers that you would not bang them until they are 18, or if the father really wanted grandchildren, then you could have him sign off for age 17, and you would promise to not frivolously divorce her hahahahahaha. and she would promise to not frivorce YOU really.

so yeah you dont look at the beautiful 16 year old gurl and say “yeah id like to pump and dump that trashwh0re, ride hard and hang them up wet” the way you would say about a 30 year old skank. you say “damn i wouldnt mind MARRYING that gurl and having her be the mother of my children. Assuming she’s not ALREADY a huge slut. Let’s have a talk with her father.”

90s and 00s metal. that was my thing. i’m not sure i even lasted 10 good years. but 1996 to 2003 for sure might have been my best years.

in terms of The West, those were not great years. especially 96 to 2001 hahahaha. the late 90s was the high of nihilism and decadence and degeneracy where shit was probably just as bad as it is NOW, except people were more despairing. shit was BAD, although things werent AS Sexualized, and attitudes about Gays were definitely a bit better. but there was nothing to hold onto. there was no alt right. there was no hope for the youth, which i was one. the music was especially shitty. it reflected the nihilism and lack of general quality perfectly. stuff like groove metal and nu metal and korn. well at least there was a ton of catchy alternative pop type stuff. i shoulda got into that more at the time.

there seemed to be much less red pilled young people then. people were not waking up fast enough.

and i do think 911 in 2001 was a bigass paradigm shift, the beginning of a new era, a time of awakening. the sleeping nihilist giant awakens and then stumbles around in confusion for about 10 more years hahahaha. trying to shake off that nihilism and sense of no purpose. trying to figure out what was going on and what to do about it.

for me at least, the internet did not become a HUGE thing until after 2000. from like 98 to 00 we used slow dialup shit and i was already a degenerate, looking at jooish filth and actually reading Erotic Stories. which I guess is slightly less jooish. playing doom and quake. writing ridic stories of me finding a Nice GF and having a traditional monog longterm rel at age 15 hahahaha. see, my main goal was not degenerate.

http://rateyourmusic.com/customchart?page=1&chart_type=top&type=album&year=1990s&genre_include=1&include_child_genres=1&genres=Metal&include_child_genres_chk=1&include=both&origin_countries=&limit=none&countries=

hahahaha i have been looking at these goddamn RYM lists for like a month straight trying to find the perfect album to listen to

like here is the best metal (incl all subgenres) for the 90s.

http://rateyourmusic.com/customchart?page=1&chart_type=top&type=album&year=1996&genre_include=1&include_child_genres=1&genres=Metal&include_child_genres_chk=1&include=both&origin_countries=&limit=none&countries=

you can also put in an exact year like 1996 hahahahahaha

also i wanted to say that listening to the daily shoah for the first time in a while (well i did listen when fatherland jim guest hosted a few weeks ago), is that i must remind myself not to forget how powerful mike enoch is. i mean he is really smart and just says the most interesting, smartest, most awesome things. i guess its easy to forget because his voice is ridiculous and he sounds like seth roganblatt. but the things he says are just amazing. here he is doing a 80 hour work week, hasn’t had time to read the news or do anything but work his tech job, and he comes onto TDS and is pretty high energy and very very solid and convincing in the things he was saying, just having very very good conversations where he is contributing most of the quality.

not to crap on seventh son or special guest millennial woes, but yeah this is enoch’s show and he is very very good at what he does. needs to trim down the number of people so he can dominate the conversation any more. him, SS, and MW would have been ideal.

heh i saw my confirmation email for applying to a part time job, and thought OH NO THATS THE FASTEST REJECTION EMAIL EVER!! and then laughed when i realized it was just the CONFIRMATION email that they had received my application. awesome job though hahahahaha. 30 hours a week, 15 dollars an hour, right when i have officially announced that 13 dollars is my new goal, that 15 is out of my league hehehehe.

ITS OFFICIAL. MY PRICE HAS OFFICIALLY GONE DOWN TO 13 DOLLARS AN HOUR. THAT IS MY WORTH AS A HUMAN BEING. hahahaha. no silly, that’s just my worth to the MARKET of human beings!!!!!

at the gas station today I saw a white man arguing pretty rudely with the poor clerk making 9 hourly. i couldnt see the clerk because they were in this little glass booth. it was one of those gas stations that doesnt even have an inside, and the cashier is in a tiny booth/shack. there was a huge line behind this white guy who….i couldnt tell what was going on. it sounded like he was getting charged 36 dollars when he disputed it and thought he should be charged 26, and he wasn’t gonna pay a penny more. he was maybe early 30s and had a stupid mohawk like haircut and tattoos all over his arms. good job. i really hope the clerk was not white, but even if they WERE nonwhite, they didn’t deserve this kinda treatment, and I was a bit ashamed that a fellow white man could be such a dickhead to a poor miserable gas station clerk. Whites are supposed to be Polite Customers. its blacks and arabs who are Asshole Customers.

I thought about going up to the clerk and apologizing hahahahaha. well, not apologizing, but sorry you had to go through that. I know you weren’t trying to do anything wrong. he was way out of line. he’s an asshole.

go get your manager. uhhhh the managers not here today. i’m not sure when he will be back. i can’t do anything for you. well then call the manager right now. i want to talk to him right now. uhhhh he doesnt give employees his phone number. well who do you call if its an emergency? meanwhile there is a huge line of people who just want to prepay for their gas. i avoided all this because i paid at the pump with a card hahahahaha.

mike enoch does not get all super intellectual either. he just gives real talk, absolutely no bullshit, no jerking off. he says like and dude a lot but unlike with most people who say these words a lot, it does not make him sound unintelligent. he is real good at talking to people and just great verbal intelligence on this goy hahahaha. this is the guy you want talking for you. real convincing salesman. but not in a bullshit dishonest way. he needs to quit his job and spend all his time talking and networking and meeting with people. he is a real good people person and communicator.

i wonder what the hell he did before TRS. I guess he had a big libertarian phase and did a lot of 4chan. dont quote me.

listened to the first 2 songs of the agalloch album, they were pretty good. decent production. a blast beat would be nice. also the black metal vocals are pretty unimpressive and really dont seem to fit. something a bit deeper, or alternately, a DSBM or old burzumy scream would be better. the corny clean vocals are better.

uhhh seems to be plenty of “melodic doom” in the vein of old katatonia going on, that i wasnt really expecting, but i guess i’m not surprised, and i am not disappointed either.

overall, very melodic, very very, not super opethy unless you think of an alternate opeth where they continued in the vein of their first two albums…….which is not a problem for me!

but now i have a damn melodic doom katatoniaish song stuck in my head and I don’t know what it is!!!!!!!!!

it has a catchy mournful weeping guitar melody.

it is pretty brave murder day ish, but i dont think its from that album.

it could be from the first october tide album, but i dont think so.

and i’m not sure what else it could be.

sept 2

you know i think it might be beneath the rain or whatever that doom band from portugal with the guy from morgion singing.  on their second main album.

before the rain?

YASSSS there is is, aroun 20:23, actually that motif is all throughout this song “shards” and it repeats a lot, but i was particularly thinking of the higher octave guitar going into the “weeping” range hahahaha.

FOUND IT!!!!

yeah the album is a little long but it has a great production and great style and is pretty underrated and i only found it because i am a big morgion fan.

fooking rate your music lists really interferon with muh job search hahahaha.

fook working for a living like an honorable white man. i am just gonna become a black ingra hahahaha.

yeah i dont want to pedestalize That Woman too much. it’s VERY GOOD to remember I have been Decent Friends with, I have been CLOSE TO OTHER WOMEN before. she doesnt STAND ALONE. I had at least two pretty good female friends where we were decent friends for like approx 2 years. talking freely, being comfortable with each other.

yeah i never fell in LUV with them but thats NOT THE POINT. well, yes and no. yeah that was the one thing that differentiated that woman.

but i never want to lose sight of the fact that i have gotten close and friendly with OTHER women. NOT JUST HER.

rejection email THREE MONTHS after applying for job. the spreadsheet did not even exist until 2 months ago.

entry level position at big well known company, great job, but 95% of its postings are for Senior Level Engineers.

ANYWAY. when you fall in LUV with a woman you FEEL closer to them. it’s a fantasy, its all in your head, but i don’t like describing it like that, thats misleading. because it’s VERY real for YOU. YOU ACTUALLY ARE very close to THEM……………………………but THEY are not nearly as close to YOU. by saying its all in your head, it mocks the realness, truth and beauty of your Luv. so, I wont do that.

like when i fell in luv with women i didnt even KNOW. OF COURSHE i FELT close to them, even though I didn’t even KNOW them!

the DIFFERENCE this time, was I fell in luv with someone I ACTUALLY KNEW!!!!!!!!!!!!!

and still, apparently, I didn’t know them well enough!

but yeah i MUST NOT think of myself as some WEIRDO CREEPER ALIEN who CANT get along with women, because I have become close friends with OTHER WOMEN THAN JUST HER.

I just never fell in LUV with any of them, so thats why That Woman was such a big deal.

went to jcpenney and found some great nike revolution 3 running shoes. but they did not have the size in the color i wanted.

so then i went to zappos and ordered the size for about the same price. i hate the idea of ordering SHOES online, but technically i HAD already tried on a pair of the same style of shoe, just a diff COLOR. and i wasnt gonna back down here.

interestingly enough, i was aiming to replace a pair of Revolution 2 which i had bought 2 years ago and are now falling apart and completely worn out. i guess i am a Nike Revolution man. so I should look for the Revolution 4 in 2 more years.

man those one year at a time charts on rym are great. i can see all the albums I was enjoying at the time, ANDDDDDDD see all the ones from that time period that I missed. there was a ton of good stuff in those years that i missed because i was a teen listening to groove metal hahahaha. no i liked half good stuff too, some black metal. i have been a black metal fan for TWENTY YEARS hahahahahahahahahaha. well, maybe 19.

just tell these antiwhite k1kes in interviews that ive been spending the last 14 months looking at black metal charts on RYM hahahahahahahahahahahahahaha but i havent been smokin any MJ ya k1kes!

not that you should be PROUD about smokin MJ. its for degenerates. its INHERENTLY DEGENERATE.

its TERRIBLE that I still want to do it. that I still want to do it WITH HER. goddam degenerate DEVILS CABBAGE.

if anyone speaks glowing of MJ, publicly humiliate them! and then go smoke it privately hahahhaha.

i really hate successful people who make like 30k a year who say i can smoke MJ and I’m a successful productive member of society! I’m happy with my life and my job and I am a successful family man! and I make 30k a year!

comment sections of news articles on legalizing mj and all these pro-legalization types saying shit like that.

well i am pro legalization too, but more of the “conservative libertarian” way, rather than Have Big Govt Regulate and Tax Tax Tax it! but let each city decriminalize it.

i mean I just imagine all the tax money being wasted anyway, like the 200 million in tax revenue colorado got from MJ. it will just be wasted on public skools in black ghettos hahahaha where the money wont do any good. or paying teacher administrator pensions hahahahahaha.

it wont go to fix shitty roads, it wont go to more police and ems in black crime ghettos, or blight cleanup, or anything useful like that. thats where your MJ tax money will go. just like alcohol and tobacco tax money.

so yeah dont tax it. save the money to build up MJ production companies hahahaha. or even small time MJ producers in the cities where it is legal.

well companies are STILL gonna drug test for jobs anyway, that practice has not changed even in colorado, in fact its probably gotten even more prevalent! cuz now theres more lazy ingrish potheads out there who would make terrible workers hahahaha.

i am being partially facetious since i always try to work my hardest even if i am using MJ afterwards.

but maybe i am just a shitty worker but i think i am a good worker.

i mean shit, i can’t handle the bare minimum at muh old job! my best was worse than their worst! hahahahaha.

NO, that’s not entirely true. for a good long while I was good and getting better. establishing a reputation for excellence. might have even been promoted in 2 more years, hahahahaha, for a company that never promotes from within!

(i of course dont want to work for a company that doesnt promote from within hahahaha)

because hiring outsiders for upper level jobs is a YUGGGGEEEEE red flag of a shitty horrible company. run dont walk.

applied for great job at Dream Employer University, but its 36k. when my skills are only worth 26k hahahaha. isnt it a waste of 25 minutes to apply for this?

i found another one that pays 15 an hour. much better. but still out of my league hahaha.

in fact the jobs that pay 13 an hour, aka 26k a year…..dont usually even list their pay. they just say nothing.

so i guess the lesson is, always apply for the jobs that dont list a number, because that number is probably low enough to be closer to your actual worth.

but still. why not just list the god damn pay for ALL jobs, from 10 dollar an hour to 40 dollars an hour jobs, so people that think the pay is too low, wont even apply.

unless they are trying to overreach and get people who would normally be “too good” to apply????

well that’s not what I do, i apply for 12 and 11 dollar an hour jobs if they seem chill/easy or I like the company.

anyway the 15 an hour job would be GREAT. like 5 miles away, full time office job, for satellite campus of bigass university that probably takes average care of its employees with 401k, health care, and at least 13 an hour wage hahahaha. 9 to 5 hours, weekends off, the works. real solid family man stuff. no joke.

 

THIS IS WORK, NOT SCHOOL

aug 19

big interview with the asians today. the 15th interview. well it only makes sense i should get to 20 then.

had that sense of nervousness last night, like i couldnt study enough about the stupid company, and nothing was sticking.

THIS IS WORK, NOT SCHOOL. You don’t come here to LEARN, you come here to WORK. DO. MAKE. Do LEARNING on your OWN time. LEARNING wastes time and money.

so say youre having trouble with a class. struggling. there is ALWAYS outside help people are very willing to give you, whether its from the teacher (maybe) or a tutor. the school often provides tutors for the popular “hard” classes in math and science. but what if you want a tutor for your JOB because youre just not getting it good enough? you want to, and you are very frustrated.

THIS IS WORK, NOT SCHOOL. NO TUTOR. figure it out yourself or i guess you werent a good fit. see ya.

or, alternatively, say you call the tutor and they KNOW EVEN LESS THAN YOU DO. they never even TOOK the course, and you’re describing to them difficult problems from the course. how do I do this integral you say, and they say, hmmm whats an integral? i dont have any knowledge or experience in the subject i’m supposed to be tutoring.

THAT was EXACTLY how the last job was. I STILL get sick just THINKING about it.

an acquaintance of mine described how he lately has developed nervousness on PLANES, which certainly a lot of people have. totally understandable. I want to go to the doc and get a few xanax for this plane ride. he said even just THINKING of the experience in the plane was starting to make him nervous. yep. i totally understand completely.

the job was like being locked in the plane all day every day.

it pushed you to a panic state of Fight Or Flight, and you wanted to Flight, but you COULDNT. It was your JOB to FIGHT.

so how well do you think you’re going to fight when you’re panicking and you want to flight? you’re gonna fight like shit, make bad decisions, and get BTFO’d! K’d!

a successful fight usually requires superior strength, and or preparation.

like if you are caught off guard by a big burly brute, you better hope you are a well trained martial artist. or have a Sidearm.

AYO HOL UP. what kind of job is only open for ONE DAY. opens 18th, closes on the 19th. pays 20 dah. not bad uh. state job so they tel you that info. anyway. that tells me that they HAVE to post the job, but there’s no minimum amount of days they have to post it. and there is strong implication the job will go to someone internal. which is GOOD! unless its been promised to someones incompetent daughter hahahahaha. which is not good.

heh. now i am not worried at all about the interview. fookin asians. last time i apply for this company hahaha. no health care premiums but they dont cover prescriptions i hear. yeah well i need prescriptions to keep me “sane” enough to essentially not be disabled hahahahaha.

millennial woes is exactly right, casual secs and promiscuity is NIHILISTIC and leads to NIHILISM.

same thing with ABORTION.

http://goaskalice.columbia.edu/answered-questions/i-feel-i-have-lost-ability-communicate-people

hehehehe

had muh interview with the asians. talked to two white guys who were definitely engineerish. seemed nice but also a bit dorky. PERFECT. well the one white guy had sort of asian eyes. he could have been 35% asian hahaha. i just tried to make myself not seem like a total idiot. they have second interviews. i might get invited to that. im sure the asians will be at that one. i definitely saw asians when i went in. asian gurl at the front desk. i even heard asians speaking asian hahahahahaha.

YES I know exactly what manner of asians these are, i’m just not SAYING due to doxxing.

the white guys seemed nice. not alpha charismatic trumplike though. just straightforward sorta dorky white engineer normies. i think they want more of an engin background than i have. they were not allowed to discuss pay, or how many people were interviewing.  glassdoor suggests about 14.50 an hour. the guys did say it was hourly not salary. they could divulge that much.

they said there was training. and people who could help you. and you dont take phone calls from the customers. you just TEST the PARTS. i might even take the job if offered hahaha. it is fairly close.

casual sex and chill hangouts are   N I H I L I S T I C !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

when you are an angry 16 year old virgin, nihilism SOUNDS really kewl. but its really no way to live. its degenerate and nihilistic and BAD and shitty.

anyway i went in there thinking fook this place, fook off back to asia, you dont know how to run an american company,  and talking to the white guys i felt a little better. but yeah i def saw and heard some asians chattering in asian. i am SURE there is a double reality or classes of people here. asians speaking asian, making all the big decisions, reasonable or more likely unreasonable, and then the white goy underlings.

supposedly the bilingual asian-americans are seen as the lowest of all rather than the native asians? that seems weird. but asians are weird.

no i dont have any asian friends. or jooish friends or arab friends or black friends or brown friends or female friends or gay friends hahahahaha.

well, i will be reuniting soon with a college acquaintance who is a jooish woman lesbian hahahahahaha. i got along with her well back in the day, she was very nice to me and i was nice to her. well i feel bad even that i sorta left her in the lurch when i made a new group of friends who were more dramatic hahaha. they were good people too but they were very cliquish and i got sucked into the clique. big part of it, i was in LUV with this one gurl in the clique. that was really the crux right there.

OH ITS 440pm on FRIDAY AFTERNOON, THAT MEANS THE REJECTION EMAILS START ROLLING IN.

heres one for General Office Clerk full time at the Big Medical Revenue place that is super close. the place that has Reasonable Job Descriptions for entry level people, so I apply to all their shit except the call center CSR jobs.

actually this was a PART TIME job with them that i applied for 3 weeks ago. pretty good turnaround time guys hahaha. no it really is. i expect at LEAST a month to get a rejection email!

25-30 people in the quality testing department the job is in.

aug 20

yes as i get further out the clearer everything becomes. she just didnt want to DEAL WITH IT. you ever get something thats just TOO MUCH TO HANDLE. thats what it was for her. as soon as she saw one long email from me, she said NOPE. TOO MUCH TO HANDLE. I CANT DEAL WITH THIS. delete. not because she hated me, not because she felt betrayed by me, not because i was a horrible person, all stuff i was very worried about at the time.

also, it’s much easier to lose a friend than it is to lose somebody youre in LUV with. MUCH easier hahahaha.

plus she was in the process of moving out of our friendship anyway. well it would have been nice if she talked about that with me tho hahahaha.

shit yeah it sucks. shit YEAH it takes a LONG time to get over. at the One Year anniversary, i am actually pleasantly surprised by how much I AM Over It. It seems too fast, too soon, for something that was THAT big of a deal. should take at LEAST TWO years to get over hahahaha. well, im not over it entirely. it prob will take 2 years before i am able to have feelings for other women.

this was a great talk, i wish it went on longer. you dont have to end it just because its an HOUR, greggy hahahaha. Weev is WHITE HOT and one of the BEST young people for Our Movement. I think Greg is great, but he’s not on the Leading Edge. But he WANTS to be, he’s TRYING to be, and that is good. he embraces leading edge stuff like Weev and TRS, rather than infighting against it like irrelevant butthurt losers.

I like how Weev cracks himself up laughing at his own ridiculous jokes. he sounds a little bipolar or narcissistic but thats not really surprising.  he’s a great Ideas Man, he’s young, he’s ridic smart, and i am glad to have him on our side. i just want him to make more appearances and give more talks. make more vidyas. every time he talks he says something interesting and usually important and useful.

this is why i donate 25 euros a week to WEEV hahahahahaha.

yeah of COURSHE i would try to get weev on my podcast hahahaha. i would have him on for 3 hours and for multiple episodes. whenever he wanted.

well i mean i would have my huhwyte podcast, and then my neetcast, and i’m not sure there should be a lot of crossover. BUT THATS MY NICHE!! pro-white neets!!!!!!!!!

but pro-white is GOOD, and neet is BAD. well, thats why I focus on OVERCOMING neetness, UP FROM neetness! it’s not a celebration of neetness!!!!!! AT ALL!

I am older than weev, but younger than greg. i really identify with the younger generation here, but i am also slow to adapt to change like the older generation. like i totally understand greg’s attachment to publishing. its what he DOES. but i dont see it as a Growth Market. not that everything HAS to GROW all the time. but we WANT pro-white stuff to grow for sure!

and weev is applying an interesting advertising/marketing like perspective to it all.

i wish weev would come back to the US and do a lot more real life networking. real life networking is also VERY important. more important than publishing books. we have enough good books.

right now the hot shit is memes and forums, PODCASTS, and real life meetups and networking. getting successful, well-adjusted normies on our side. people with good jobs, wives and children. get the strong, successful alpha men on our side, and then the women will follow.

anyway lots of older huhwhytes say weev is controlled opposition, a shill, a mole, that back in the day he “hunted nazis” and now he is just rounding up young gullible nazis with no knowledge of his history.

that he is a FED, basically.

i dunno. i’ve been disappointed before. if he turns out to be a fed I will stop giving him money and singing his praises. TRS and Daily Stormer like him, so that is good enough for me. and Greg hahaha.

so yeah i am less angry at HER as well. i can totally forgive her and be somewhat less butthurt. i can totally understand why a person gets into fight or flight mode and then runs away. says NOPE. I CANT EVEN. ive done it before. i knew it was not the greatest thing to do but i just didnt care. i was that convinced i couldnt deal with it, i didnt care who i hurt. well i was never really HURTING anyone hahaha but myself. no not in a physical self mutilation way thank god!!!! but in a throw my future career away sort of way.

so yeah i dont get as mad any more about her doing something HORRIBLE to me. yeah it wasnt GOOD, but it is SUPER understandable. that doesnt make it right, but it doesnt make it horrible either. it sure felt horrible because i was in serious luv with her, and i stand by that. true luv is not something to be trifled with. its what joins two peopel together for LYFE, and creates NEW life. its more serious than cancer. and thats what i had for her. not some casual, nihilistic, replaceable, throwaway trash jooish bullshit.

joos turning your luv and your relationships into cheap chinese throwaway crap that you buy at walmart and the dollar store.

http://www.dailystormer.com/we-made-the-cover-of-time/

alt right internet trolls are the current cover of time

i guess the magazine is dying but thats still pretty big, its in doctors offices and normies homes everywhere.

ok no comments on the time article allowed. it only really mentions milo the joo queer and also weev, with some great quotes from him, telling the joo author of the time article he belongs in a fooking oven.  and of course milo is a degen and doesnt represent anyone. does he represent breitbart? im sure there are many decent breitbart readers and maybe some ok breitbart writers…..but he is not one of them hahahaha. talking about loving black dick. gay making out with gavin mcinnes to show that right wingers are not “homophobic.” i mean i guess mcinnes could be a gateway to better thinkers hehehe. but i didnt need a gateway. well im not a normie tho hahaha.

well lets say i found some young gurl who i found really qt and she turned out to be a huge slut and offer it up to me quickly. of COURSHE i would take her up on that. i cannot turn down secs from attractive young women, casual or not! but she would probably “dump” me after i banged her 3 or less times anyway. cuz i would be nervous and therefore the secs would be AWKWARD. the first time would be horrible. the second time would be a little better. by the third time, might even cross the line into good…..but by then the gurl will be turned off from the previous two bad times. there wont be a third time. of course it wouldnt be “bad” for me, it would just be awkward and very very self conscious and nervous.  and that would be enough to make it “BAD” for the woman. I would want to do it again, and she wouldnt.

 

WHAT WOULD DONALD TRUMP DO / FRIENDS FIRST GAME / 11 YEARS SINCE CUDDLING / SQUAT GUAT / TUALAPOG / ID HANG OUT WITH ME SO HARD

0203

THIS IS THE BEST AND LONGEST POST EVER.

well i will get over the idea that i did a horrible thing and betrayed her and am a bad guy…..

but its much harder to get over the idea that I Failed The Shit Test. She was giving me a shit test because thats just what women naturally do to weed out weak willed men, and be selective, and find good stronk mates, and weed out the weak………and i failed the test and showed myself as weak. failed her shit test.

but i have my doubts that this was an actual shit test, vs her just being super shitty.

now i realize ALL shit tests are subconscious, and the women dont know theyre doing them.

and that shit tests are essentially women acting like Full Retarded Immature Children. and that is stupid and shamefur.

the proper response is to say, i’m not gonna take your shit baby, THIS ENDS NOW. youre acting like a CHILD and you can talk to me when you want to act like a grown ass woman. but i dont negotiate with bratty little children.

then the gurl melts and says ooh thats just what i wanted to hear, you passed the shit test, i luv you now.

also….. i thought shit tests came AFTER the gurl has shown SOME interest in you, most likely have SECS by the third date. but she doesnt really know you and doesnt know if youre a real enough man to continue having secs with her.

also, i failed shit tests with women before, bascially dumped for being Too Beeta……..but they still were NICE to me when they dumped me and didnt go apeshit and treat me like a piece of garbage, or it was my fault for being such a horrible person.

in other words, failing a shit test STILL doesnt mean the woman gets to throw you away like youre a horrible person. they can STILL empathize with you as someone who is gonna be hurt.

but i dont know how shit tests work in Friends First situations. when you already know each other. she had known me for 2+ years, she knew who i was.

are they testing to see if youre willing to just walk out on them if they give you shit?

well i wasnt willing to walk out on her exactly because we already had an established relationship for a long time, and you just dont GIVE UP on people like that, unless they are a trifling brat you JUST MET.

now with shit tests you cant say “just talk to me baby, and we’ll work this out. tell me what you want baby, and i’ll do it.” thats FAILING the shit test.

you have to say, im the MAN, and im not gonna stand for this. STAHP. THIS ENDS NOW. I wont take this shit, we wont talk this out, you’re gonna stop throwing the tantrum, or im gonna find a BETTER WOMAN.

well, its hard to walk out on a qt after youve BANGED her, because you want to bang her MOAR, plus the secs might be naturally, rightfully causing your brain to produce like-like-chemicals. so your willingness to put up with shit and not walk away is increased.

when walking away is not the same thing as giving up. when you you walk away because youre saying “i can do better than this. i dont have to put up with this shit. this is retarded.”

vs walking away as giving up: “i dont want to put in the effort to work on and improve this relationship. im done with them. its over and im pulling the plug.”

i dunno i think BEING ASSERTIVE is not a bad thing. i was never good at being a DICK to women becuase i was always THIRSTY (hahahaha) and DESPERATE for female attention and approval and liking and loving.

but i think you can be assertive and stand up for yourself and say i dont like the way youre treating me, you need to treat me with more respect or were done.

do women see assertiveness as being not masculine enough? or do you need to be more aggressive than assertive?

i dont think aggressiveness HURTS. except when you are being aggressively pushy, creepy, bugging them to hang out when they dont want to hang out. and you are persistent in a stalkery way.

the best advice i have thought of recently is: WHAT WOULD TRUMP DO. WHAT WOULD THE TRUMPENFUHRER DO in this situation, with this woman. how would HE show assertiveness to this Bratty Bitchy Woman whose trying to bust his balls?

THAT is what you must do.

would he let some gurl say oh not now, but later. later. later. for months and months? fook no. hed say, were going out to bla bla on saturday at 7 pm. done. be ready or youre fired hahahaha.

shit. when this first started going on she made it sound like almost playful and possibly flirtatious, like youre the guy, you pick the place. and i responded pretty well like, OF COURSHE ill pick a place, i am decisive as fook and if you dont like it, your loss baby lol. and joking with her. and tyring to point out how i wasnt such a nice guy, i am a total asshole, its my way or the highway. was trying to show that side to her. which i still think was a good idea! but then she STILL kept bailing on me. still making up excuses. i said youve got two strikes already baby, and believe me you dont want a third! youre treading on thin ice! which i thought was halfway decent Game for a sperg autist neet virgin wizard like me! and i still do!

but it didnt work, cuz she still kept up with the lame excuses.

at that point, i should have said THIS ENDS NOW. STAHP STRINGING ME ALONG or i’ll hang out with somebody who doesnt.

and because i failed to do that, i lost out on muh lifelong wife and mother of my children, cuz i made one misstep and responded to one shit test incorrectly hahahahahaha.

again my game was not Perfect, but it was OK considering, and at the beginning of it, it didnt seem she was Stringing Me Along too much. so i continued the Playful Banter and things werent weird yet.

and the excuses werent really THAT lame. some were, like i was sick etc. others were like oh im upset because my cheating boifran cheated on me and im sad, and i thought her opening up to me about that was progress.

but yeah. you could have finally Broke Down and agreed to hang out over Thanksgiving or Crimbo. so I guess things were weird by January 2015. because i had fully expected to hang out with her around tgiving. that was disappointing. that was strike 1 or 2. i thought well if tgiving doesnt work out, xmas or new years definitely will. xmas did not work out. i even blatantly asked her if she wanted to hang out on new years. I DUNNOOOOOOOOOO. THAT should have been strike 3, and on new years day 2015 i should have said: OK. ENOUGH IS ENOUGH. THIS ENDS NOW.  but instead there was tension for the next 7 months. and then devastating, pathetic heartbreak for me ever since that.

but do i really WANT a woman who has made the decisions she has? when she has to make big decisions and prove her mettle, she Chokes and chooses Poorly. and its TRAGIC because she can really do better. but do i really want someone who Chooses Poorly when it matters the most?

well i often thought, well, other white women arent much better. i mean how PICKY do i want to be here? we get along well, we know and trust each other, shes been with less than 3 guys, shes not annoying, shes nice, really the pros outweigh the cons here goy, where am i ever gonna find a nice, young, pretty, less than 3, no kids white gurl? wy the hell shouldnt i go all in with her!

shes made a couple of bad decisions, and i wish she had a better father but thats not her fault, her family is good despite that, were all human, ive made some REALLY bad decisions too, and most young cute white women have made a lot worse decisions! i could do so much worse, and really, considering my status, im not gonna do any BETTER!

i dunno. i TRIED to have game at the beginning. i thought i was Gaming pretty well considering me being an omega wizard. gimme a little CREDIT for THAT hahahahah!

but the game didnt work. she kept flaking. now was that because my game was not strong enough? and i should BLAME MYSELF for that?

well the true alpha would say, welp i screwed that one up, but i learned a lesson, and i will do better with the next woman. lets just move on from this.

note well that i am more about marriage game and traditional wife game as opposed to casual sex pulling degen sluts degenerate game!

also, HOW HARD IS IT TO HANG OUT????? i can see soem bitch youve only known for a month and had casual secs with, now blows you off and doesnt hang out with you because youre TOO interested in her……

but how do you Friends First Game?

average Game says, theres no such thing, youre in the Friendzone Forever.

I say, well just tell the gurl your feelings have changed. and then get soundly rejected because women dont like having Adult Conversations, because Serious is not Sexy. You have to speak their bullshit dumb retarded signal language. at which point you are better to be Aggressive He Man, than Assertive Lets Talk About This.

so stupid. what does heartiste say is proper Friends First Game?

i TRUST heartiste because he is pro-white and he is also TRS-approved and he understands the big picture.

even ROOSH is coming around to that, but we dont like Roosh because he is a Kebab and he makes fun of the alt right hahahahaha. ful disclosure: I bought “Day Bang” like 4 or 5 years ago and still dont realy want to get rid of it. i think white wizards like me can learn some basic solid game from a “kebab rapist” like Roosh. but yeah. he shouldnt have mocked the alt right. that was really stupid. not just the alt right, but WHITES. i can’t tolerate that.

plus him going around banging HUNDREDS of white girls. even if they are degen sluts. he is not being a part of the solution. to degeneracy.

but yeah. it just makes me very uncomfortable to think that the average unmarried white gurl is gonna be more or less ok with casual sex.

well this is the DEFEATIST shit schlomo WANTS me to think! NICE TRY SCHLOMO!!!!!!!!!

back in the day, DEFEATIST talk used to be up there with TREASON as an executable offense! or at least you got the shit beat out of you. and then went nuts and Kd yourself and others like private pyle hahahaha.

i have always felt like private pyle unfortuantely hahahahaha.

just to be crystal clear, i dont support the poolside, enjoy the decline, watch the world burn bullshit. i might have been seduced by that DEGENERATE, HEDONISTIC NIHILISM when i was younger, but not anymore. there are values much much much higher than MUH DICK.  and thats all that shit is, is muh dick.

i luv TRS because not only do they have a fun forum, but they have totally engaging the Memeplex and are changing the meme game in a bigger way than any pro-whites ive seen so far. creating memes, changing the language, creating our own language, “dog whistling” to other shitlords with words like “AGENCY” and “TIME PREFERENCE”. not to mention the more jocular memes/words like “cuck” and dindu and gibs which seem to be penetrating our language.

what they are doing is great and exciting and important. and i have been pro white since 2011 hahahahahaha. ive read stormfront and vnn and they are fine and dandy, but TRS is the next big thing and i am GRATEFUL i discovered them.

they would tell me forget about that lost cause mudshark……..but they would also say i am a total beeta lost cause myself, so when you tally up the scorecard, i would have been lucky to pull a white gurl like her. young, less than 5 dicks, no kids, so what if she is a little mudsharky and has no father. pros outweigh the cons. i am a past my prime, 30+ loser who made bad choices in life and now reaps what i sow. i am luck that a white gurl even wanted to hang out with me. the best i deserve is a “BROWN MIDGET REFRIGERATOR” (description of guatamalan/mestizo brown women hahahaha, stout, stocky, short, stumpy, and very unattractive hahahaha.)

i am serious about wanting to date only white girls…..but with my low mate value, i have to find a white girl with ISSUES.  and i did! and i felt they were not dealbreaker issues!

or i could just IMPROVE MYSELF which is what proud white men are SUPPOSED To do. life is a constant journey of SELF IMPROVEMENT for the white man.

heh. for me that is super duper hard. i am losing weight pretty good and trying to treat my Despair with meds and occasional shrink hahahahaha.  i have quit drinking and quit MJ. but i still like MJ and I wish i didnt LIKE it!!!!!!!

i have quit porno and have not looked at it at ALL in…..111 days at LEAST.

i dunno. i had a good upbringing so i cant blame my family. they were just too protective though, if anything they were too loving! and in that sense were enabling of bad habits that would not serve me well as an independent adult who could Survive in the World of Work and Women.

Classic Spoiled Kid Affluenza syndrome reporting in!

but yeah i dont like Dating because i dont think women should be having secs before 6 months into an official relationship, at LEAST; and i dont like the fact that women cant talk about shit and solve problems like MEN hahahaha. im mad at women for not being MEN. hahahahaha.

you cant HATE women for being immature insane bitches. its part of BEING A WOMAN. WOMEN ARE DIFFERENT THAN MEN.

i dunno. i can accept women being VERY different from men, i just WISH they didnt HAVE to be immature, insane, destructive bitches! is that to unrealistic to ask?

probably not.

remember, those crazy bitches i fake dated and made out with and had secs with, who dumped me for being too beta and a doormat and not masculine enough and too interested in them, they still tried to dump me politely and nicely.

heh. j00ish women j00d me less than a white woman. its really discouraging when white women j00 you even worse than ACTUAL j00s hahahaha.

so yeah i can finally believe that i didnt do something HORRIBLY WRONG AND EVIL.

i have a harder time accepting that it was more than a matter of game. if i had just GAMED her better, i would have gotten her. and my major mistake is failing this SHIT TEST.

i would like to think there is no one size fits all way of passing a shit test. donald trump does it one way, uncle adolf does it another way, vlad putin does it another way, the southern gentleman does it another way. i would prefer to be assertive ratherly than overly aggressive, and not be too huge of a dick about it. because thats SAFER hahahaha. because what if being a dick to the woman actually offends the woman and drives her away? hahahaha. yes i am being slightly sarcastic.

bbbbbbut its hard to be a dick to women when you are a desperate doormat who is desperate to not be left by them.

i wish there were a good authority on Friends First Game i could turn to hahahaha.

of course the idea that there is a Game for every situation is pretty degen, see the hilarious twitter account return of kangz whcih is a alt right, pro white parody of return of kings which somebody from TRS forums is doing probably.

https://twitter.com/ReturnOfKangz?lang=en

it seems to be making fun of Game, from a pro white perspective hehehehehe. i dunno. its a really new twitter account but looks promising.

i dunno.

see, i thought Friends could just TALK to each other freely without using stupid GAME.

i thought friends could just HANG OUT with each other REGULARLY.

but i didnt WANT to be just friends.

well i was FINE with being friends at FIRST.

then things changed.

then i wanted to have a friendly talk about that change and just put it out there like a mature adult. no shit tests, no signals, no ultimatums, no bullshit.

but maybe its because im an unmasculine mating market loser that i even THINK Game Is Stupid. If i were a successful man, I would appreciate and respect the Game, as i respect the Differences between men and women.

i respect the differences between men and women, but i still think Game is stupid.

but MGTOW is kind of stupid as well. just pussies giving up and embracing foreveralone as some kind of moral signaling. nope. i dont buy it anymore. im as done with mgtow, as she was done with me hahahahaha.

there are better ways to morally signal hahahah. like by saying you are a traditional white man who wants to have a traditional white family with a traditional white woman.

WHAT WOULD THE DON DO.

he would say, “listen. the first couple times you blew me off, that was understandable. you were going through some tough stuff. but I really thought you would hang out with me around tgiving, crimmus, or new years. enough is enough already. youve been avoiding me for 2 months. this is not ok. this ends now. either we hang out this saturday at 5 pm or you CALL me when youre ready to stop stringing me along and start treating me with the respect i deserve.”

THE END.

put that on a fooking flashcard and MEMORIZE THAT QUOTE.

i am looking for an EPIC DOOM BAND that is MORE EPIC THAN CANDLEMASS.

CANDLEMASS IS NOT EPIC ENOUGH FOR ME.

Candlemass is great and nothing but respect. but i want 10 minute songs, not 6 minute songs hahahahaha.

yes, i am fully aware candlemass invented epic doom and has an album called “EPICUS DOOMICUS METALLICUS.”

yeah i will also take epicish gothic doom death. like my dying bride. that is more than epic enough for me. maybe what i’m looking for are those “gothic”, super melancholy Two Guitar Harmonies.

google how to deal with a shit test

looking for somewhat trusted sources, not easy

http://therationalmale.com/tag/how-to-pass-a-shit-test/

https://heartiste.wordpress.com/2013/06/25/compendium-of-female-super-shit-tests/

ok. so you treat them like the BRatty Little Sister. you dont hate them or want to hurt them, but you want to SHOW THEM WHOS BOSS.

WOMEN HATE MEN WHO NEED TO BE TOLD TO BE DOMINANT. hahahahahah. whoooops failed that shit test hahahahah.

Commanding respect is especially important for the kind of testing where they’re just being an annoyance and generally disrespectful. IMO disrespect should not be tolerated and needs to be nipped in the bud, and is an important way to maintain frame control. You simply need to be firm and treat her like a father would to their child who’s being disrespectful. You don’t get angry, you just call her on the behavior and let her know clearly that you won’t stand for it. In a way this is almost a type of pressure flip. You’re taking her negative energy and sliding past it and putting the onus on her to react by changing her approach to the topic. For example:

Her: Nag nag nag.
You: That is disrespectful and I will not tolerate it.

https://whoism3.wordpress.com/2012/11/17/confessions-of-a-reformed-incel/

he seems pretty degen but there are some solid things in this article, poignant tuff feels you will have felt hahahaha. but he watches pron hahahaha. anyway decent article, cant vouch for the rest of the site.

yeah he likes pron too much and hates women too much. and doesnt like to heartiste. but i can basically understand where hes coming from. plus i HAD to read an article called “confessions of a reformed incel.” he went TWELVE YEARS without sex, and i think without even cuddleing or making out, any contact with women basically.

welp… its been 11-12 years without actual secs for me

11 years since touching pvssay, and cuddling

10 years since making out

so….almost as bad hahahahahaha.

11 years since cuddling wow that just sounds SAD hahahahaha.

WHAT WOULD THE DON SAY:

THAT IS DISRESPECTFUL AND I WILL NOT TOLERATE IT.

this is prob muh favorite style. straightforward, no bullshit, no games, clear, direct, honest, short, to the point.

i dont even disrespect RANDOM SLUTS as bad as she disrespected me. how could she do that? im talking about archetypical degenerate, mudshark, casual sex, 30+ dicks, bastard babies, stupid retarded corrupted white skanks. i treat them with the utmost disrespect as a group, and she treated me worse than THAT. showed me less respect than THAT.

if i know someone as an INDIVIDUAL, that counts for something. if i god forbid knew one of those sluts, i would probably treat her with more respect as i would the GROUP. on an individual one on one basis, i try to treat EVERYONE with respect.

the idea she could do that to ME. someone she was once Good Close Friends with. its MIND BOGGLING.

QUOTE

trpalternate 55 points 1 year ago
For the married guys in here, I’ll add one thing that I learned from experience: If you’re faced with passive-aggressive behaviour, ignoring it will, at best, postpone the problem. Passive aggression isn’t the same thing as a veiled shit test. The entire purpose of being passive-aggressive is to niggle at you until either you become cowed by guilt and fear of disapproval, or until you set some boundaries.

You have to confront passive-aggressive behaviour, preferably immediately. When you do so, be firm but not aggressive or angry. Make sure you shoot down any denials (e.g. “I didn’t mean to hurt you”). Also, don’t let her flip the script back on you. If she tries to deflect with something like how you don’t do enough dishes, you can say something like “We’re not talking about dishes. We’re talking about [Insert passive-aggressive action].

Set limits and follow through. Make sure that she knows that further behaviour like that will not be tolerated. Also tell her that if if there is a problem, she is to state it to you directly.

In my case, about an hour after the discussion, she asked me to apologize for getting upset with her. The absurdity of the situation got the better of me and I let a chuckle slip out. Then I told her that she was the one in the wrong, so she will be doing the apologizing. She did. One year in, and that was the last passive-aggressive snipe I have ever dealt with from her.

END

https://web.archive.org/web/20160107223756/http://illimitablemen.com/2014/12/14/the-shit-test-encyclopedia/

gotta dig into this.

you know it seems like less of a shit test and more that she was JUST AVOIDING ME. SHIT TESTS means theyre still INTERESTED, conditionally of course. avoiding you means they just have no interest whatseover.

avoiding is not a shit test.

therefore it was not a shit test that i failed.

anyway they way the more sex obsessed game types talk about women, you think, god damn these women are disgusting, are all women like that? and the gamers would say yes of courshe. all women are immature little cheaters and sluts. i dont like that idea hahahaha.

it sucks to find a Decent Woman and they do something really bad.

why cant they just disappoint you A LITTLE? they have to disappoint you WORSE THAN YOU COUL EVER IMAGINE.

and i dont give people shit tests. i realize even MEN ive each other shit tests all the time, but i dont even do that.

these PUAs are clearly degenerate and the women they fook are clearly degenerate, and i hate to think that All Women Are Like That. that SHE is like that.

maybe she was just chill and nondramatic because she partook a lot of MJ. do i REALLY want to be with a woman who does a lot of MJ? turning your mind to MUSH, and probably makes you MORALLY LAZY as well? not being able to do the right thing when the time comes?

well i wanted to do MJ with her, chill out and cuddle together, and i just cared that she was not a slut. had a low number.

https://heartiste.wordpress.com/2008/12/29/its-easy-to-identify-a-slut/

hehehehe

https://goodbyeamericainaphoto.wordpress.com/

i think heartiste has another blog and this is it

heartiste was one of the first guys i read that really got me thinking, and i still come back to him. i read him when i was an approval seeking shitlib. helped me see the error of muh ways! and he is still great. i think he is probably on board with pro white K selected family stuff.

https://heartiste.wordpress.com/2010/09/16/why-sluts-make-bad-wives/

i like how he mansplains stuff that really shouldnt need an article to mansplain. why do sluts make bad wives?

TO ASK THE QUESTION IS TO ANSWER IT!

oh dear god. beta college boy dating dominant abusive woman, she goes batshit breaking shit making noise, cops called, they make them visit a college counselor, girl complains about man being WEAK and counselor says that Your Weakness is a Triggering Issue for her, maybe you should work on that mkay hahahahaha. so you dont force her to beat you with a shovel.

yeah this guys a huge pussy and doesnt even deserve an abusive gf…….but even weak unmanly shitlib sjw swpl phaggots dont deserve to be abused and threatened by their relship partners!

degen icelandic feminist whores sing triggering song about how they are huge buttsluts who love to take it up the ass. because it destroys patriarchy and destroys toxic masculinity and shows solidarity with oppressed gays. an acceptable form of appropriation hahaha. also stick it to the prudish squares. let your white daughter become a horrible anal wh0re hehehehe.

https://heartiste.wordpress.com/2015/08/27/white-nationalist-game/

heh heartiste might be ONE OF US hahahaha

http://archive.is/EuSlG

8pol thread related

ive been rejected by women before……but this one has been THE WORST.

yeah i will survive, i am probably getting a little better, but shit. at this point my woman hating levels are THROUGH THE ROOF.

but the good news is that more pro-white than ever before. i might even just admit that I Am A “White Nationalist.”

well i dont like labels, but i am definitely not Anti White Nationalist! And I Am White and HOLY FOOK I LUV BEING WHITE!!!!!!!! and I feel great loyalty to my RACE.

prior to 2012 i was very open to Race Realism but I didnt want to apply the label to myself. Was not all hardcore 1488 hahahaha. but when i got rejected by woman2012 i decided to go all in and be like fook it. i hate nonwhites and women hahahaha. im not trying to win any bitches approval. if anything i want to signal for white women who also believe in the 14 words like me!!!!!!!!!! and countersignal to fooking mudsharks, race traitors, sluts, etc.

oh i can fook whoever i want whenever i want and its not cheating because i never agreed that our rel was MONOGAMOUS hahahahahaha ayyyyyyy lmao idk ikr tbh fam smh

i hate it when bitches harshly dump you because you didnt READ THEIR MIND correctly. and asked for clarification about the complicated issues. i thought women LOVED to TALK about COMPLICATED DRAMA. sometimes but not always. sometimes theyd just rather show you shitloads of hostile disrespect, more disrepect than you would show the dirtiest whore, they show to YOU, even though you were a important part of each others LIVES for YEARS. nope. it dont matta. nunnadis mattas. WHO CARES. MEANS NOTHING. you’re just worthless garbage. like you never existed.

I GAVE HER MANY CHANCES. SHE GAVE ME NO CHANCE.

went to Gym and focused mostly on my new incline fetish. no its not a fetish, its just a new interest. SCHLOMO wants to denigate all your HEALTHY interests into “fetishes.” well that said, there are actual fetishes, and they are degenerate and should be shamed and shunned. but dont call a healthy gym thing a fetish cuz its not.

anyway went all out there on at least a 5% incline if not 6, and now feel much more tired and like the muscles got a serious Workout. so i can have a nice Muscular Ass so Tyrone and Mohamed can Pozz me and i can be a good Power Bottom hahahahaha. hahahahaha. no thats obv degenerate af.

but yeah that was good ultimately. think i am getting a cold tho. that is not good but hay at least i dont have to go into the Contact Center with 50 other hacking coughing sneezing people and answer phones all day.

i was suprised at how FEW blacks there were there. because blacks in Contact Centers will often give you the runaround and say they cant help you, get this info and call back, because they dont want to put in the effort and thought to solve the problem. however whites care and whites have real empathy and actually honestly want to help you, so they put their own quality scorecard and therefore their jobs at risk by taking longer to help you. and then bringing work problems home with them, studying in between shifts, until they go crazy and either go postal, K others, K themselves, or quit, because they dont want to be like a black and just quit. well i am willing to quit a job because i am a spoiled neet and a disgrace to my white race!

if the job were less ridiculous i might not have quit it. if SHE wasnt there i definitely would not have quit it. i was not man enough to take both struggles and stressors at once. i broke down like a little omega neet fuccboi boipucci neet wizard virgin manlet with no agency. a piece of white trash hahahaha. even white TRASH was good enough to hold onto the job!

but yeah her karma is a lot worse than mine. its bad karma to quit a job…….but not super bad. -1 to her -20. -30, -50.  it is horrible karma to ABORT or DELETE someone from your life that you had A Good Relationship with for a matter of YEARS. how would ANYONE react to that? even the most normie chad would be PRETTY DAMN UPSET.

and thank god i dont have to LIVE with that hanging over my head forever! she will just push it down deep though and Forget It All. It Never Happened. is THIS REALLY the kind of person I want to be sharing the rest of my life with? OF COURSHE NOT!

but it sucks that she is capable of treating some OTHER guy right and being a great wife to HIM! but she decided I wasnt worthwhile enough to treat with even a LITTLE respect. im not asking for a LOT. im asking for a LITTLE, and IMHO i had a Reasonable Expectation to a Little. and i want reasonable good wifeworthy less than 3 dix women to agree with me on that.

I was BTFOd. COMPLETELY. BTFOD. did i deserved to get BTFOd? no. at worst i deserved to have her bitch at me for a little bit, but that would involve talking to me. she couldnt even care enough to talk to me to bitch at me. damn.

how can someone who you were so close to you, do something SO COLD to you?

i figured she didnt like like me, but I also thought that she LIKED me as a person a LOT. put a lot of VALUE on me. and when people VALUE you, they don’t TUALAPOG/Abort/Delete you.

shift+delete you!

so now if someone says or acts like they value me as a person, how am i to know theyre not bullshitting?

and i dont think she WAS bullshitting.

blame it on the fooking MJ. the DEVILS cabbage. the HERBAL J00. it CLOUDS YOUR MIND and stupid stoners LAFF about that (“the halflings pipe-leaf has Clouded Their Mind” LOLOLOLOLOLOL) and laff about that, without realize it can cloud your mind on very IMPORTANT shit, like making decisions of MORALITY and doing the right thing. throw this person away then just smoke w33d for years and its like IT NEVER HAPPENED. cheat, kill your baby, neglect your children, and just smoke w33d all the time and its like the shit never happened.

see when i smoked weed, if i wasnt anxious as fook, i felt GUILTY for being a bad horrible weak shitty person. smoking w33d would certain INCREASE my guilt if I did something HORRIBLE to another person!

but it doesnt appear to have that effect on her at all! nope! just chills her right out!

is this the type of woman you want to share the rest of your life with? mother of your children? just because shes WHITE and under 30 and doesnt have any bastard kids????

but you get along really really well and feel really close to hahahaha.

maybe i was just so desperate for a woman that that desperation finally sparked my feelings. and if i had real OPTIONS, i would see how she should not be the first priority.

but i had no options. no plates spinning hahahaha.

maybe if i did, she would have wanted me. lawd knows when SHE had some changes in HER relship status, that sparked MY interest and pushed me over the edge!

When she had a Long Term BF, i had no interest in luv, or secs, as women prefer to call it hahahaha.

when that rel ended, i said HMMM. i really get along with this woman very well, we are good close friends, shes not unattractive, shes got no kids, shes got really nice hair and white skin and legs, shes super nice, she treats me well…….HMMM.

(she did not use me as a Beta Orbiter Crying Shoulder Emotional Support, so that was good? although i was very willing to give her emo support if she neeeded it.)

then there was the biggest regret time of july 2014 where we hung out and she was super nice to me, but i was still going HRMMMM and did not make a move.

but its very possible that she was just nice to me because she was NORMALLY nice to me! but once she figured out i might like her…..she became very NOT nice to me. bad sign hahahaha. and imho much more than a shit test or bitch shield.

yep this whole tragic sad story illustrates the tragedy of white trash. they are our white kith and kin and we should treat them as such…..but they are just so goddamn heartbreakingly disappointing. they can come SO CLOSE to shaking off the Trashy aspect and fully embrace their white potential…..but at their highest point, they Choose Poorly and start sinking back into the muck and the mud forevermore. but you WANT to help them. you know what theyre capable of. you know they could be so much better if they just didnt make such bad choices and have such bad habits. usually broken families and drugs/alcohol. the damage schlomo does to these poor white families! it should make your white blood boil!

it almost feels like a religious calling for me. the one thing i am really passionate about in a world of despair and disappointment and failure, largely my own, is The White Race. it is essentially my religion. or as some WN thinkers would say, Nature’s Eternal Religion. Sounds good to me!

who do you hang out with if YOU YOURSELF are the negative influence, and no healthy normies want to hang out with losers? You wouldnt hang out with a loser like you! you know well enough that you should SHUN losers, because bad company brings you down!

well…..hehehehe its not true that i wouldnt hang out with me. ID HANG OUT WITH ME SO HARD. i am pleasantly surprised by my confidence there. i am completely unconfident i can get a job or get a woman, but i am very confident that i am hangoutwithable and that i can lose weight.

of courshe it doesnt help manlets like me to lose weight because if you are under 5’10 you are INVISIBLE to women, they dont care if youre fat or thin. (disqualifying the positive)

well i could get a real shitty job like nonstop customer service in companies with VERY high turnover except by the most desperate, like me hahahaha.

and i could very likely get a 30 year old nonwhite woman, maybe a SQUAT GUAT or a Fat Laotian or a Fat Black Woman. Black Women are usually single and they actually like me. black women LOVE me and show me great interest. well not really but they are generally pretty nice to me. i could probably pull a 30 year old black woman with black kids if i were that desperate. and i dont want to be that desperate!

not that they dont deserve somebody 2 Luv! everybody deserves someone 2 Luv!

but as an avowed out of the closet White Nationalist 1488, Interracial Dating and especially MATING is, Y’KNOW, like kinda important to me!

ridiculous QUOTE from my own What 2 Say In An Interview File:
Economics has taught me that everything has a COST. Also about the laws of supply and demand. Marketing has taught me how to create demand and add value.

do not trash you current company when interviewing for a new job. If they ask you why you are leaving, tell them you are happy with what you accomplished at old company but are looking for a place that can provide longer term growth and challenges.

You HAVE to have a thick skin. You HAVE to be able to take “hazing”, whether its from clients or co workers. They probably dont mean it personally, and more importantly, you have to control your emotions, not let them control you. It may be that the person is testing you to see how you deal under pressure. Of course its under pressure that our true self comes out, and we have the chance to really prove ourselves…or choke. If its a coworker simply trying to get under your skin, you can let their words roll right off of you like water off a ducks back, and even give them a taste of their own medicine. If its a client, you simply ignore the disrespect and “kill them with kindness.” In short, in the real world, people don’t always treat you the way you would like to be treated, and you can’t let it bother you, or you won’t get far in life. Sometimes people also push you or test you to see how much they can get away with, and whether or not you will be flustered by verbal jibes or japes. I have self respect and wont allow myself to be treated as a doormat, however I also know how to respect authority and submit when a superior is ordering me to do something. I personally do not usually test people in this way. I simply use the golden rule and treat everybody the way I want to be treated, and I want to be treated with RESPECT.

you can’t just have a Big Picture View. You have to have a Tiny Picture View as well. Super Macro AND Super Micro. you need to be like the EAGLE soaring above at 5000 feet, and be able to see a mouse on the ground below, and zoom in on it with laser like precision. Essentially zoom in from a 5000 foot view to a 1 foot view in a second, with equal clarity at both levels, and at all levels in between. What good is someone who can see super macro and super micro, but they cant discern the large gray area in between? You might see the forest, and you might see a tree…..but could you see HALF the trees? I bring a wide range of accuracy and detail to thought and vision. I am efficient working and solving problems at ALL levels.

Efficiency without effectiveness is not efficient.

Effectiveness without efficiency is not effective.

END

I literally have at least 8 hours of me reading the bullshit in that huge file. not sure how many pages it is, but it is 44000 words, which is about 6-7 times longer than this post so far.

WHAT IF once she hits 30 she contacts me and wants to get Together 4 Realz and fully apologizes and feels bad for what she did. Would I be stupid and desperate enough to accept? probably, if that were the end of the story.

so start adding layers of Red Flags.

what if she has a bastard kid from some deadbeat.

what if the bastard is half BLACK.

what if she has TWO white bastards.

she would CERTAINLY have elevated her number above the National Median of 3. But would she be above 10? 20?

if she had NONE of these dealbreakers i probably would.

she would probably be making more money than me anyway ayyy lmao.

what if she had had x abortions during that time?

assuming a woman would tell you the truth about the number of ABORTIONS she’s had. they are more likely to tell the truth about the number of COX they’ve had! unless they are an out and out abortion lover and baby life hater, in which case……very big red flag.

at 30 she would prob still look ok (unless she doesnt!!!!) but she would look a hell of a lot worse than she looks now! she still has a valuable couple of years before she hits 30!

but i’m OVER 30 ffs!!!!!!!

so what. i would have married young if i had the opportunity. i didnt. or i was too weak to MAKE the opportunity. so now im an older man who wants a younger woman. that is pretty natural actually tbh fam.

but i totally would have married young if i were in a good, healthy, LTR with a young, decent woman. i wouldnt throw it away for some grass is greener bullshit, or some Discover Yourself and Experience The “World” bullshit that women do hahahahaha. and throw away good men who loved them and would have been good husbands for them.

well also if i had a decent career too would be a plus. the Top 10% of Whites do have good careers at age 21. you just got to OUTCOMPETE people to get there and be the 10% best in your field. i did not do this obviously.

though i was in the top 10% for grade school and high school! then became Perfectly Average 50% in college, and after college, my stock kept falling and falling hahahahaha to the point where i wont even state the basics of my life because its just too shameful. basically a huge underachieving white neet. nothing BUT shame in my game!

for rich or poorer, for better or worse, through good times or bad. i never met a bitch that was willing to stick with me through the tuff times.

i guess thats not TOO weird. you gotta EARN it. its a STRUGGLE. its a hero’s quest to find your true maiden. i get that.

but uhhhhh how about you just show me a shred of mercy when you BOLT at the first sign of struggle. say SORRY for leaving me in the lurch before you go jump on the c0k carousel.

im not even sure wordly sluts know of the term cok carousel. ive used the term around men who loved it, well that there was a word for that sort of thing, but ive never used it in conversation with women.

they would probably say ewww thats nasty but still essentially BE ON the cok carousel as they say that.

harder to rationalize away that cognitive dissonance after youre 30 and unmarried. better have a baby with the next deadbeat so you can have some meaning in your life and have someone to chain to you, because its sure as hell not going to be a Good Man. so just use an defenseless, innocent little Human Life you irresponsibly created, B!TCH!

hahahahahaha def a bit of an Anger sort of day.

this is why its hard to get along with women and be friends with them. cuz they are such horrible people hahahaha. so its amazing i even FOUND a woman i got along with very well, and became good friends! you can pump and dump MONSTERS, but can you really Like and Respect them? of COURSHE not!

with couples who are always breaking up and getting back together with each other 10 times, they are still talking and fooking and can actually EXPRESS this sort of anger with each other, instead of just leaving the person alone in their own hell which you had a 50% hand in creating.

and after arguing and arguing and breaking up and getting back together 10 times, BOTH people can say, welp theres no gas left in the tank anymore. this is a dead shark. we are BOTH done. i dont hate you, i wish you well, but this rel is dead, and neither one of us can or wants to bring it back. thanks for the good times, and have a good life.

i SO much would have preffered that. THAT would have been 6000000 times better than TUALAPOG.

just let both parties argue and scream until there is nothing left to say, no gas left in the tank, no anger left, no luv left. that would be SO FOOKIN AWESOME. I WOULD LUV THAT. GIMME THAT ALL DAY OVER THIS.

hmm. in like sept and oct 2014, when i was JUST STARTING to get feelings for her, i was like a BOSS. i didnt like my job but i wasnt in danger of QUITTING IT due to Emotional Insecurity; I said YEP i am gonna TALK to her SOON and get that over with, whats next. hopefully find a better job and get the fook outta here and maybe get a Nice GF for once in my life, maybe. I even used a bit of Playful Tuff Guy Chad GAME with her, saying, I’ll pick where were going (because i know thats how to Win Gurls Approval hahahahaha) and such.

then she had a series of GOOD excuses as well as not so good excuses. tgiving and xmas and new years passed….and NO HANG OUT. i was frustrated. I HAD NOT SEEN THIS COMING. I THOUGHT FOR SURE we would have hung out and talked about this by now.

then job got even worse, and i got even worse, and the excuses got worse. i texted her cutesy shit almost every day and got Warm Fuzzies when she responded. but i had dozens of text drafts i DIDNT send her. that were basically playful fun ways of me telling her i liked her. shit i should have just send some of those. then i would have saved a few months, she prob wouldnt have reacted AS bad, and the issue would be out there.  blurting it out does not have to be all serious. it could have been any one of those dozens of silly texts.

heh. DONT YOU EVEN CARE HOW MY LIFE IS GOING, YOU STUPID COWARDLY B1TCH!!!!!!

i could be dead, in a psych ward, started drinking again, in jail for all she knows.

not that i would EVER K myself over a woman and more importantly, i’d never threaten a woman with that, because thats really really horrible apparently hahahahahaha. then you are the bad guy. then you DID do something horribly wrong and not be aware of it.

WELL I NEVER DID THAT and hopefully never will.

heh. she is prob busy with the busy time at the job right now. hopefully getting the same confusing bullshit I got. i want it to get under HER skin and her to get flustered and frustrated so she knows how I felt. and then have her work friends STAHP giving her moral support. but when has a WOMAN ever stahpped getting moral support. someone is always there to hold their hand through the tuff times hahahahaha. but we MEN do it ALONE.

well i got moral support from other people than her thank god. but it was so disappointing to see someone whod once been your Real Life Friend, shrink back to your Work Friend, to just a Work Acquaintance, to NOBODY.

it happens. but i never left a person in the lurch when they were reaching out to me. i ALWAYS responded and apologized. even if it was kinda half hearted hahahaha. also no one was ever really that DESPERATE to reach out to me. but if they WERE, id respond to them. try to ease their worried mind at least a LITTLE bit. show them a LITTLE kindness to someone who was once my friend.

thats all i wanted hahahaha. just a LITTLE kindness. not a lot.