ROASTIES MAKING ROASTIES

may 21 2017

ok ill get on board with thsi white sharia for a little while , about 3 months, and see how it plays out. i’ll give it a chance. but i am on the fence too. but i trust anglin and weev. and i realllllly dont trust women. so my version of white sharia will not involve any wanton, sadistic, jooish abuse or violence. it is basically just spanking and taking away voting from women. no punching, no kicking, no closed fists, no clubs, no shilleleghs, just an open palm on the buttocks. period. and no no fault divorce. no alimony. no 100% custody for the woman. prob should be min 75 25 father mother. arranged marriages so all women are married by their fathers by age 18. this is my white knight mangina version of white sharia hahahaha.

and it would serve me WELL to think of WHITE SHARIA when i am actually interacting with a woman of breeding age, which is basically NEVER.

if i had acted with a WHITE SHARIA MINDSET with THAT WOMAN, things WOULD have worked out better.

no facebook. no texting.

terrible segment on cbs this sunday morning about teen vogue becoming a more and more political feminist magazine to help young gurls become Woke on social justice and white privilege and patriachy and diversity and heterocisativity and love equality and trans love and love is love and microaggressions and safe spaces and snowflakes and trump is GASLIGHTING america hehehe.

well he might actually be hahahaha while he sucks off ZOG and their pets the saudis hahahaha. trump basically becoming a full blown ZIOZOG SHILL hehehe.

was feeing a bit grumpy so i laid down and took nap for like 30 minutes. helped a little bit.

so how do you get women to tell you the TRUTH about how many guys they fooked? also, they are sucking off guys from the age of 15. there are plenty of of guys they have sucked dick but not technically “fooked.” but this is almost as bad.

ideally you would HYPNOTIZE them and then get them to tell the truth, or have them do a lie detector test.

or you could prime them with, yeah i know the real number is close to 50, so you dont have to lie. i know it’s a high number.

like i saw a really attractive waitress at a restaurant a few days ago and thought, i would luv to bang her, even though she’s PROBABLY been with about 20 guys. i mean she was young, maybe like 23. 25 by 23 isnt to bad right? of course it is, but it wouldnt stop me from banging her!

id just be like, baby, i KNOW youve been with a lot of guys. a LOT of guy. and that doesnt bother me. but i just want to know. is it more like 30? or or more like 50?

of course it DOES bother you and you DO care and i HOPE you are not getting feelings for that n>20 whore! but when a gurl is 23 years old, her body looks GOOD. i mean a 23 year old who has been with 23 guys will look better than a 33 year old who has been with 1 guy!

i imagined myself ungently pounding the 23 year old gurl and her beautiful body and say, how many guys ya fooked, ya dirty whore? 40? 50? 100? say im a dirty whore whos fooked 100 cox! and she luved and and gushed all over hhahahaha.

kinda pornographic and jooish really! on my part!

and even this dirty slut, i wouldnt do more than ruff secs, talk dirty, some spanking, maybe some face slapping hahahaha. that would be the extent of it. no punching or kicking. i am such a saint hahaha.

so basically i have no problem with banging gurls who have fooked 50 guys….as long as the gurls are young and attractive!

like its been such an issue for me so far. im banging SO MANY QT YOUNG GURLS….but they all turn out to be high number sluts hahahahah.

http://nypost.com/2017/05/20/new-york-enclave-finally-ends-nazi-era-policies/

saw this in news today, never heard of it.

http://www.nydailynews.com/news/national/back-nazis-lived-long-island-article-1.2716488

yaphank, NY

http://www.thedailybeast.com/articles/2016/07/02/inside-the-nazi-camp-on-long-island?via=twitter_page

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Yaphank,_New_York#Camp_Siegfried_and_Siegfried_Park

camp siegfried

https://bbs.dailystormer.com/t/two-white-nationalists-dead-in-insane-moslem-terror-plot/108034/

good lord. some 20 year old white guy became a muslim and killed two other young white guys who were in a pro white group in florida. some others in the group are on DS, but I think they mainly used iron march.

ok well i worked up the energy to trim beard, which i usually try to do every week, to level 2. but because it takes 5 minutes, i usu procrastinate. welp finally did it.

https://bbs.dailystormer.com/t/american-mathematical-society-publishes-article-calling-for-removing-cishet-white-men-entirely-from-power/108041

theres really no need to read anything BUT DS hahahaha.

yeah i guarantee you if i had good looking, 7/10, 23 year old sluts to bang, and they had been with 50+ guys, i wouldnt give a DAMN, well i would give a damn about the principle of it, and that a hwyte gurl was so defiled, but i would not turn down the secs! but thats the problem, is that neet loser cant even pull HIGH NUMBER SLUTS, if these women are at all young/attractive.

so now i am looking for young but unattractive women hahaha because young women are inherently more attractive than older women hahaha.

honestly i think i’m not really misunderstanding white sharia, that my version is indeed exactly what the meme creators have intended, but that i am misunderstanding their follow up commentary on it?

in other words, if anglin and weev came out right now and said this is what we ACTUALLY mean, it would sound very much like what I have been saying.

this filthy wh0re who should be enslaved as a brood mare hahahahaha actually explained it pretty well.  dont want to sound like i am hwhite knighting for this disgusting, evil, high number wh0re hahaha. but honestly. i dont get why you have to be so mean and hateful to women. i do genuinely like emily youcis and she hasnt jumped the shark yet and what she says here si very very reasonable and a good argument for WS.

basically i just needed someone to reassure me that the women wouldnt wear BURKAS and they were not going to be ABUSED. and, in actual Hwyte Sharia, as I now understand it, women will NOT be abused and they will NOT wear burkas, so i am on board with it!!!!

i do think its a bit much to call the women on the DS BBS terrible names and say that they are shitty cvnts who deserve a good beating. the onyl women that should be talked to like that are actual disgusting sluts, mudsharks, race traitors, cheaters, home wreckers, etc.

sheeeit let me see if i can upload this in case it gets removed from youtube, which it prob will hahaha

https://pastebin.com/yM1vCiZY

well here is the autogenerated caption transcript of what she said hehehe

weev wrote a great article but he did more harm than good with the final paragraph. he should really edit it out because it sends the wrong message about WS.

https://pastebin.com/TnY4QstS

good quote from the thread

http://archive.is/JXZ9p

hehehehehehe

so yeah. i hate to see a great idea spoiled by little drops of shit.  that were probably just weev getting carried away with perhaps drunken rage. but the end of that article comes across as very butthurt, even more butthurt than I am! and weev gets way more hot slut action than I do!

i dont want to VICIOUSLY beat any women, even traitorous women dont necess need to be viciously beaten, very very very few women, and probably none, would ever need to be viciously beaten! i mean if they are doing treason against the state like rosenbergs or something, fine, a quick bullet in the H.

but i forget that weev does have a penchant for violent fantasies. you should see some of the stuff he’s written on gab. stuff about flaying nonwhite infants alive, just to be edgy.

he’s just being edgy!

but yeah. basically women need to be strongarmed by fathers and husbands so that they dont become whores, which starts happening by the time they are 15. that may be too young to get married but 18 is not. prob 17 would be ok. i am not gonna say marriage at 16.

if a woman has been SO bad that weev thinks she needs have her ribs broken, I just say spank her for an hour each day for a week and then ignore her the rest of the time, and the only time you see her is when you spank her for an hour. or even 30 minutes. and just completely ignore her otherwise. i think this would be damn effective and a hell of a lot better than breaking their damn bones like a nonwhite savage.

again weev is an honorable white man and i dont think HE thinks we should ever act like nonwhite savages. but like i said he does get pretty violent fantasies sometimes which he prob associates with vikings hahahaha. oh the vikings raped and killed women so its ok hahahaha.

may 22

guy releases the full interview

no im not white knighting for her, im just saying her bit on white sharia was honestly good and made it clear that we do not support abusing women violently.

but we do have to show the women we are CAPABLE of violence.

but we dont HAVE to violently abuse the women if we dont want to hahahahaha.

also, fathers and brothers would make sure that women are not abused by their husbands.

but yeah imho anglin and weev need to go out of their way more to say they dont actually want to abuse women because there are a lot of autistic woman haters taking this the wrong way, who actually like the idea of abusing women.

but im giving it all a few months to settle in and hopefully it will all be clearer then.

anyway emily needs to obsessing over her overly sculpted eyebrows and yes she has crazy eyes. i mean she is clearly insane. but she’s done good work so far and im glad she disavows her degen past in this video. its really not that hard to disavow your degen past. just whenever you have to mention it, disavow it as well. i do the same thing. i had a degen past….and it was horrible! i wish it never happened.

watching a missing persons tv show last night where a police informer undercover was talking to a hwyte man who talked about how he liked to kidnap, torture, raep, and murder children. there was no proof of him actually doing it, he just talked about it glowingly, and had a ton of Child Pornography, for which he went to pound me in the ass prison.

but just the fact that someone can FANTASIZE about something so horrible! these are the true monsters!

and i wonder how this guy got this way! probably raeped by psycho phaggots when he was a child!

and then i thought, welp i might be broken and fooked up, but at least i dont like the idea of abusing and hurting people like these psychopaths!

RACISM IS PREJUDICE PLUS POWER

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

https://bbs.dailystormer.com/t/professor-receives-229k-to-study-white-microaggressions-against-coloreds/108203/18

hehehehe this poaster is great. he has dated dozens of academic career gurls with graduate degrees and knows how horrible these people and this world is. i hope he finds a nice woman who has his children and stays loyal to him.

may 23

https://bbs.dailystormer.com/t/new-study-shows-watching-pornography-causes-impotence-in-men/108399

the jooz do not want you to study this hehe

terror attack in manchester. mudchester hahahahahahaha.  pretty sad this has become normal and its not enough to cause an antimoslem backlash! lets #prayformanchester and #lovetrumpshate!

FLOPPED NUT FLUSH against an aggressive bettor. OH YEAH.

i dont like how anglin suggests that most hwyte women are easily seduced by nonwhytes. i am willing to hwyte knight for the women and say that NO MORE THAN HALF would be EASILY seduced by negros or mudslims. even that HALF of women would JUST NOT BE INTO the idea of race mixing.

of course i could be wrong and anglin could be right and 100% of white waifus want the BBC.

well i agree, the longer they stay “SINGLE” the more the 100% chance of them liking BBC.

if all women were married to good bois at age 18 by the parents, this wouldnt happen. you wouldnt get 28 year old sluts who liked BBC.

thats the thing. get them married young and this wouldnt be a problem.

have 18 year old virgin girls marry 18 year old virgin boys.

both sets of parents will be heavily involved. its not like youre giving away your daughter to just any guy.

great video. ive said the same thing. confidence doesnt really matter for a woman. it matters EVERYTHING for a man. without it, he is a loser both in the real world, and with women. MW points out both these points. what women find most attractive in men is confidence, and if you dont have it, you WILL be a total failure with women. period.

meanwhile, joo society encourages confidence in women, when its really not needed. women dont NEED confidence. men do.

and white men at least are the least confident, least successful with women as they have ever been in history.

men are the worst theyve ever been and women are the worst theyve ever been.

they really are trying to turn our men into ph4ggots and our women into whores. and they are succeeding!

just think, next time you are getting some Action, this person is TURNED ON by black guys (or brown refugees). do I really want to be with a person who thinks these savages are HAWT!!!!?????

then again you are measuring women by mens standards. setting yourself up for horrible disappointment! women will NEVER be able to live up to mens standards!

theyre not SUPPOSED to be loyal to race!

theyre not SUPPOSED to find brown thugs inherently unattractive!

theyre SUPPOSED to find dangerous, violent, ALIEN men SEXY!

they’re just choosing the strong horse over the weak horse!

STOP BEING THE WEAK HORSE, WHITEY!

WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO ABOUT IT, WHITEY? JUST SIT THERE AND TAKE IT?!?!?! NO! OF COURSE NOT. You’re going to join with US. The National Socialist Hwyte Peoples Party hahahahahaha.

from

https://heartiste.wordpress.com/2015/12/16/study-evolved-defense-mechanisms-against-mudsharking/

via

https://bbs.dailystormer.com/t/we-should-start-approaching-attractive-mudsharks/108156/8

may 24

AYO HOL UP. the thing is. heres the thing. i serving of peanut butter = 2 tblsp. this means nothing. so, understand that that means 32g. that means a lot more. this means that my usual Yuge Dollop of Peanut Butter is more like 64g, ie 2 full servings, ie 390 calories.  HORREE SHEET.

so, you can VASTLY UNDERESTIMATE the amount of peanut butter you are eating, therefore, VASTLY GO OVER on your daily calories.

i knew peanut butter has a lot of calories. but i didnt know how small 2 tblspoons was!!!!!! its TINY!!!!

lesson: always measure shit out in GRAMS.

so yeah. that heartiste thing above is GREAT. he asks the tough, simple, meaningful questions. quanitify this shit. MEASURE it. it’s bad, we know, but how bad?

how BAD is one black guy compared to one white guy in terms of the most meaningful number there is, a a womans number?

5 white guys? 10? 15? 20?

i’m GLAD so many people say infinity, this is unforgivable. yes it is.

BUT, what do you EXPECT. these are guys reading heartiste.

also, at LEAST 50% of women have been with blacks. you cant just BOYCOTT women who have been with blacks. you just grin and bear it. hold your nose and hope this leads to someone better. unless you want to be a foreveralone KV, youre gonna HAVE to be with women who have been with darkies. period.

so how bad is it REALLY? I’d say about 10. one black guy is as bad as 10 white guys on the womans number.

and i’m the biggest racist in the USA. And I’m only saying 10. bet you thought I would say 20 or 50 or 14 or 88. nope. just 10.

i mean 10 is bad! I wouldnt want a wife with 10! but i think I have accepted that 20 or hopefully less will be my new, worse standard.

went to arbys and say the BEAUTIFULLLLLLLLL 18 year old white gurl again. she looked SO pure and innocent. i literally wanted to marry her right there. i saw her and INSTANTLY forgot about That Woman. I said, yep I could TOTALLY fall in luv with this new gurl and it would be better than ever. best waifu ever right here.  just a random 18 year old white gurl who works at the local arbys. serving up ROASTIES hahahahaha.

ROASTIES MAKING ROASTIES

HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHA

but she doesnt look like a roastie is my point. she has that LOOK of purity and innocence.

YES, i understand that SOME whores are able to FAKE this look.

but plenty of them dont bother faking it at all, because they LOOK like high number whores.

she did not. and this is really my type. all the women i have been interested in for the past 10 years all LOOKED pretty innocent and low number.

i wish i could have been a 22 year old man out of college making 45k as an entry level stemgineer. then i would have had a chance with a gurl like this.

but i was a huge loser then and didnt have that kinda job. or education hahaha.

i was also a pathetic woman worshipping feminist. a male feminist. but i think i wouldnt have turned down an 18 year old gurl hahahaha even though thats a sign of immaturity and misogyny and insecurity and ew creeper.

but yeah. i wish i could have been 18 and arranged a marriage with that 18 year old gurl at arbys hahahaha. it is possible, because when i was 18 i had a LOT of potential that could have been used to bargain a QT gurl from a good family!

and having a young qt wife at home would have made it more likely that i actually REACHED that potential. studied hard, got a good job, got to cuddle with Lovely Waifu for 20 minutes a day, really recharges the batteries. who wont leave you for the 6 years that you have to furiously TRAIN and prepare and get edj00cated so you can get a 40k job and have children one day with your lovely wife.

but it really is too much to ask of any woman, let alone an 18 year old gurl, to SEE YOUR POTENTIAL 6 years from now. so thats why her father sees your potential for her.

but youve still got to live with her.

well, then her father or your own father teaches you how to carry yourself like a super confident man who has already reached his potential.

well, also, a little spanking goes a long way. i am convinced that regular spankings will help give your young wife the correct attitude.

someone on DS says that the word mudsharks sounds too silly and funny and cutesy, so we should call them SHITSHARKS because they are putting turdlike brown cox in their coonts and mouths. SHITSHARKS sounds UGLIER than mudsharks.

i am ok with either term. i think mudshark sounds plenty ugly enough. but shitshark is great too.

https://bbs.dailystormer.com/t/my-near-30yo-niece-is-dating-an-established-50-year-old-man/108593/

he is happy as he should be in this situation. in a sane world, everyone would agree. that she should have been married at 18. and since she wasnt, theres nothing weird about marrying a much older man….when you are already an OLD MAID. at least he’s rich!

https://bbs.dailystormer.com/t/i-need-advice/108769

young man wants to get off SSRI meds, asks DAILY STORMER for advice. Brave!

well hes 17, he is still very young holy shit i might be able to be his FATHER hahaha.

but thats a complicated thing. i cant be firmly against meds like i used to be.

yeah when i was 17 i wish i was……i dont even know anymore. done anything different than what i did. maybe got a job in a machine shop with a bunch of hateful white boomer drunks hahaha then gotten schooled in the machines. and never touched MJ or alcohol. or rather, never ENJOYED them so much that I looked to them REGULARLY for ESCAPE.

maybe met with some real racists. they still had stormfront back then!

anyway this is always a bad train of thought to get on. shoulda woulda coulda.

had dream last night about a gurl from GRADE SCHOOL. she was very purty and could have had her pick of man. but she also seemed kinda high maintenance and bitchy. even at age 13 hahahaha. i felt she was high horse and uppity and way out of my league and maybe resented her for that, that she would only pick Cool Chads. well at least she didnt pick negros like the white trash did. even as early as 13 i was noticing the Red Pill Reality of Women, and it horrified and disgusted me. but it is what its always been. wish i had just deal with it in a realistic way.

anyway the gurl seemed like she wouldnt be a mudshark or a huge slut. some of the gurls you could ALREADY TELL were going down that path. some gurls were fooking negros AT AGE 13/14. HOLY SHIT.

anyway i dreamed of this qt high class gurl in the dream. she was super qt and had nice long legs. but in the dreams her legs were all hairy.

and i was like fook it, i dont care, shes still got nice legs, its not like she has a BEARD or something, so she’s got hairy legs, I’ll still take her.

thing is, an otherwise beautiful gurl isnt gonna “lower her price” by having hairy legs so only a guy who doesnt care about that is gonna get her. so as to filter out guys who only want her for a short term fook (not that most women even care about guys wanting them for that!) most guys would probably put up with hairy legs for a gurl that good looking, and, more crucially, the woman herself would find it super gross and never get hairy legs in the first place.

so not sure the meaning of the dream. maybe just that i have a hairy legs fetish plus that i still remember gurls from age 13.

i mean i wasnt in luv with her or obsessed or anything. but it just points out that if i had an arranged marriage with her at age 17 or even 16…..it prob would have worked out just fine! WELL, provided that i got my act together and lived up to my potential, and that she didnt become a hambeast. and didnt leave me in the lurch hahaha.

like millennial woes says, the best thing a woman can do for a man is to SUPPORT him, meaning, to be LOYAL to him and STAND BY him and not leave him in the LURCH. that when the whole world is AGAINST him, his woman says you can do it muh big strong man, i BELIEVE IN YOU, and I will be with you for the LONG HAUL and I’m not gonna LEAVE you just because you are having a rough patch. we will get through this together.

i mean you need to keep fighting and not totally lean on your waifu like a crutch. you both need to give GOOD FAITH in this department. you cant be TOO needy, and she cant say that you needing emotional support during a rough patch is you being TOO needy.

but yeah. thats what a man wants from his woman, apart from her being young and qt hahaha. but like MW says, mens side of the bargain is that we have to be confident fighters. which is hard af. i might never get there. prob wont be wealthy enough to pull a 30 yo woman when i am 50.

that feel when you watch a super confusing spy/thriller/mystery movie and you have no idea what is going on. and you have somebody calling you to explain the movie. and theyve seen it 10 times. you havent seen it even once, you have no idea whats going on, and they think youre stupid and incompetent because you cant explain this movie to them hahaaha. they want to speak to your manager but you cant do that. if you ask others for help too much, you will get fired. if you take too long trying to figure out their weird problem, you get fired hehehe.

well never again will i be in a situation like that. thank GOD. but yeah. if i had never met that woman, i wouldnt have gotten that terrible job and thown almost 3 years of my life away. but yeah thats 34% my fault too hahahahaha. 33% her fault, and 33% the jooz fault hahahahahahaa. but it DOES suck to lose 3 years of your life and it didnt really HELP you.

so yeah i cant blame her (100%) for that and I DONT, but damn it SUCKS. i already wasted too many years. I knew BEFORE those 3 years happened that i didnt want to waste any more years….and then i went ahead and wasted 3 years anyway.

well it wasnt a TOTAL waste. i did some downright MIRACULOUS MACGUYVER shit and was a HERO to some clients. I just cant REMEMBER those cases in great detail unfort!!!

and I got bretty good at job searching, powered through 530 applications and about 26 interviews before finally getting muh sweet 11k a year job hahaha. but its low stress AF. but unfort i am not really IMPRESSING people and CHARMING people. i mean its not easy to impress and charm people!

i mean i try to do a good job but to be COMPETITIVE in the MARKET you have to be ABOVE AVERAGE, not AVERAGE.

you gotta be above average to get an average job and an average woman. does that make sense? no it never did.

i never aimed for more than an average job, although maybe i was arrogant enough to want an above average woman. well because average women are so bad!

and really average jobs are a lot worse than i thought too. you make like 26k a year and get abused all day by fat assholes calling you a phaggot idiot. getting BLAMED for shit like a red headed stepchild. people ANGRY at you and thinking youre an idiot, making you the scapegoat. i guess i learned how shitty that feels hahaha. oh what a shocker, i thought it would feel GOOD!

also i wouldnt get treated like that PER SE. its ALWAYS WORSE IN MY MIND THAN IT IS IN REAL LIFE!!!!!!

https://bbs.dailystormer.com/t/meet-raleigh-durham-iww-duke-university-s-antifa-communist-group/108433

antifas who are phd students at very top univs. these people are the top intellectuals. in math and computer science. well the one jooess is a phd student in negro american sociology and racialized reproduction hahahaha. anyway duke is a VERY elite skool, it is NOT easy to get into phd programs there!

i just hate that these phaggots can be more successful and respected and smarter than me. getting top Smart People jobs and being the worst antihwyte joos ever.

we need OUR PEOPLE in jobs like this. phd intellectuals at elite universities and being activists for HWYTES!

also i hate math and science phds who are horrible commies.

they should be 35 year old basement dwellers. unemployable. unluvable. but they are respected for their “smart brains” and get 18 year old college gurl pvssy. yeah i mean its disgusting antifa pvssy….but ive been in an environemtn a lot like this. there are a lot of beautiful 19 year old middle class hwyte gurls (and tons of joos too) larping as communist bolshevik unionists. and yeah even the jooesses look good at 19 years old. yeah you do want to bang them when you see 600000000000000000 qt young gurls every day at a super middle class university!

in the real world you would not be REWARDED with YOUNG gurls for being a weak communist!

and i am butthurt because i couldnt become a phd intellectual, get a job at a big university filled with THOUSANDS of 19 year old gurls and live the rest of muh life in extended adolescence trying to bang all the 19 year old gurls I wanted to bang, make up for lost time, get it all out muh system hahaha.

 

 

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YOU ARE WRONG FOR WANTING TO RESPECT WOMEN. ITS NOT THEIR PLACE TO BE RESPECTED.

may 17

sheeeeeeeeeeeit

making 37k per year at 30 years old

theres a great search query. i WISH i were making normie chad bigoy bigbux of 37k per year at the young spring chicken age of 30 years old!

every day i try to say something simple to someone and sound like a tongue tied, low IQ IDIOT. thing is, i dont REALLY need to IMPRESS people. but i wonder if i ultimately am disappointing people who are like, welp, he hasn’t really impressed us yet. he seems kinda low energy, underachieving, and uncreative. content to be a brick in the wall. not an out of the box thinker by any means. certainly not the type of guy i would want my daughter to date. seems like a nice guy but he’s gotta learn it’s not enough to be nice. sometimes you gotta be ruthless to get what you want, or opportunities will pass you by.

that kind of shit.

well i dont worry about it TOO much. just try to get thru each day. did some more video stuff today. i actually like doing the video stuff. but the early videos are super rough as i learn the software, how to make a video, etc. just doing screen capture videos demonstrating how to do a task with some software.

it doesnt NEED to be fancy, you can make these videos very easily, and i wish they had done that at my old job, to TEACH the employees how to DO shit. videos are a great way to teach people how to do tasks with 600000000 little steps on a computer.

but yeah it still takes time for me. how do i do a freeze frame. how do i add this type of Annotation. what parts can i cut to make this shorter. timing of shit.

but it still looks like beginner shit. but i happen to be such a strong believer in The Pedagogical Power of videos. probably because i believe in the MYTH of learning styles and I am DELUDED into thinking I learn better with videos.

but I DO!!!! dont tell me how I feel hahahaha.

so maybe i dont actually learn better, but i THINK i learn better with videos, and that CONFIDENCE and peace of mind is real, and valuable!!!!!

i mean shit. when i had a ton of confusing complicated shit to learn, i WISH we had videos. that were 10% as well produced as the ones I make! I mean just record your screen, and record yourself talking as you explain what youre doing! DONE!

mother fookin sheeeeeit.

but yeah the world is a COMPETITIVE place, and you have to WIN to get ahead. if you are just average, you stay in the same place and eventually fall behind. you always need to be BETTER. and I guess I am OK at muh job but its a below avg job, and also im not as AWESOME and ELECTRIFYING as I hoped i would be. that i would be SO awesome that people would LUV me and say, here’s a secret job in this department, i’ll talk to the Director and make sure he hires you for 30k a year. done deal.

but the people are nice to me and dont hate me and I think most of them know I want a more substantial job with The Organization.

BEAUTIFUL day today, should go for longer powerwalk than 2.5 miles. i mean it is INSANE. its always far below avg or high above avg temp around here. and today it is super warm for mid may. would like every day of the year to be this NOICE.

its not like i was slacking today either! i felt i was honestly doing my best. i just wish my best were better! in high school and sometimes college i would get an A. measure me! grade me! metrics! scorecards!

i mean I get in 15 minutes early every day. i buy a tub of maxwell house coffee whenever we run out. i mean i drink 88% of the coffee hahaha. other people use the keurig. i should buy keurigs. well actually i only drink about 75% of the coffee! this other guy drinks at least one big cup a day, we usually get at least one client in a day who drinks a little bit, and sometimes another person will drink some. i mean i definitely drink 60% of it minimum tho. but i make 3 times less than the next lowest paid person!

oh yeah. i guess i wanted to ask WHY AH felt that the hapsburg austrian monarch was so anti-german and so pro-slav. why would they be anti-german? i though hapsburgs WERE german! austrian germans hahaha. but there was the threat of “czechization” from the czechs. I guess a hapsburg married a czech.

i guess we can say wherever there is a question of WHY…..its da jooz stupid hahahaha. but AH has not suggested the austrian parliament was compromised by literal joos. just that the Weltanschauung of Parliamentarianism is inherently kinda jooish, cowardly, and weak.

soooo…..why would austrian germans sell out to czechs? i luv the czechs, i dont want to blame them for ww1!!!!

german empire, https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/German_Empire , The German Empire (German: Deutsches Kaiserreich, officially Deutsches Reich)[5][6][7][8] was the historical German nation state[9] that existed from the unification of Germany in 1871 to the abdication of Kaiser Wilhelm II in 1918, when Germany became a federal republic.

By ziegelbrenner – own drawing/Source of Information: Putzger – Historischer Weltatlas, 89. Auflage, 1965, CC BY-SA 3.0, https://commons.wikimedia.org/w/index.php?curid=3387306

ok all this is pretty useful i guess but it still doesnt answer my question of WHY would austria/hapsburgs be at all anti-german? because they were Cucking to the Czechs by intermarrying with Czechs?

oh well. but fact is, AH felt they were anti-german and too czech-loving.

i mean fact is, this area of “central europe” was practically as bad as the goddamn balkans in terms of balkanization hahaha. but much hwyter because there were never any turkroaches.

i mean there were czechs and poles especially were probably the biggest problems for germans. tfw when you are largely a pole hahahaha but you luv AH and germans. but you luv poles and “western” slavs too. lechitic and czechitic hahaha.

i wish poles and germans could have just negotiated their boundaries peacefully like the hwyte gentlemen they are.

so who was The Bad Guy there?

Who was more jood?

I think there were a lot of joos in germany….but there was a SHITLOAD of joos in poland. god damn i hope im not related to any of them. i mean. honestly im much more likely to have a wee bit of german blood than any joo dna. thank GOD.

how much did germans intermarry with poles?

how good or bad is that? i mean i want them to get along….BUT…..do i want them to meld together like that? not really!

https://ispot.tv/a/wdyr

university of phoenix we can do it commercial

0h god heres a horrible new phoenix commercial

About University of Phoenix TV Commercial, ‘We Can Do IT’
When the factory she works in upgrades to automated machinery, this young mother decides to upgrade her skills with a degree from the University of Phoenix. With her kids and Rosie the Riveter encouraging her, she begins anew with a career in information technology.

i offer it without comment, just watch it and you know exactly what im gonna say!!!!

get training to use the next version of that machine. if you get an IT degree from u of phoenix you will just be taking angry clusterfook phone calls all day of people with broken machines or just dont know how to use them. and neither do you!

its funny you can get a job “helping” people who think their shit is broken but they really just dont know how to use it, when YOU dont know how to use it, and can’t tell if its broken or they dont know how to use it…and its your job to fix this clusterfook situation! and even your managers dont have phoenix IT degrees. you just wish you had a lot more training before being thrown to the wolves, because you cant handle this!!!!! you cant handle adult life!

if ZOG could make TRILLIONS of dollars on MJ TAX….wouldnt they have legalized it by now? so…..why havent they? because they COULDNT make a lot of money on tax? but how could they NOT! Wouldnt people GLADLY pay HUGE taxes on it?

i mean OF COURSE the tax money would be ALL WASTED on zog salaries, No Public Good would be done with the tax money, but i would still gladly pay it for legal MJ.

It would NEVER save schools or roads or infrastructure or health care or ANY of that. it would go right into beaureacrats pockets. but still.

may 18

having a gf/wife is just like having a KID. just another person to work for and be completely responsible for. an employee to manage. the worlds shittiest and most disloyal employee. the worlds shittiest and most disloyal kid. at least kids deep down they luv you and wont really abandon you. a deadbeat parent is more likely to abandon his kids, or a wife abandon her husband, than a kid is to abandon his parents.

i cant even handle the responsibilities of my own life. and i think i would prefer the responsibility of a kid over that of a wife. there is more potential reward, less potential risk. a kid isnt gonna intentionally ruin your life like a wife will hahahaha. wont BETRAY you like a wife will hahaha. yeah the kid may ruin your life but they wont MEAN it hahaha.

the joos love that i am thinking these horrible why even BOTHER type thoughts about wife and children.

i say, skip the wife and just go for children! and bang hot sluts all life long and raise your kids as a single father. use the most attractive, youngest sluts as your surrogates. then minimize their degen influence in the childs life afterwards. get sole custody.

no need for sexdolls and cuddledolls and artificial wombs! just use real women for these things.

mixed day at job. on one hand, had decent job related conversation with coworker where i showed i wasnt a complete idiot.

on the other hand, i worried about disappointing the same coworker because i panicked about a phone call later in the day and transferred it to him when i really should have taken more time to try to figure it out myself. i quickly apologized and showed i was aware of what i had done.

but i dont want him to think that the loser new guy doesnt have what it takes, cant handle the tough situations, not ready for prime time, not ready for a real 30k bigboy job, better go back to grad skool, college boy hahahaha, because you dont have the real skills needed to survive in the real world at real jobs have real tuff conversations and making real money of 30k a year!!!

and a whole ICEBERG of related Im Not Good Enough Thoughts!!!!!!!

and thinking, well, this is how i because the huge failure I am now. just not being good enough on enough things, enough tasks, day after day after day. many small disappointments compounding after the years, and then you’re a HUGE FAILURE.

real bad thoughts! think thoughts like this for years will guarantee that you become a huge failure! self fulfilling prophecy! or at least damn sure FEEL like one!

chris cornell K’ing himself. i mean he was successful. good job, children, handsome, didnt look like a drug addict. unless he was a degenerate doing auto erotic asphyxiation. but who does that at age 50? all the other medium profile “celebrities” who died of it like kill bill and inxs guy. but latter might have been despair-related suicide. sometimes its hard to tell i guess.

well i can say that chris cornell was handsome and had a good voice and i hope he was not too degen in his personal life. pretty shitty to do that to your CHILDREN though. not the type of thing the worlds greatest father does to his children.

but yeah i dont want to disappoint muh coworker. he is raising children to be successful. when his daughter gets her masters degree in a few years at age 23 she will be making like 60k when i cant even make 30k at age 33!

his son getting a stem degree and he will make 60k too! and have no trouble getting a wife and kids and supporting them!

how did HIS kids get so TUFF at HANDING THE REAL WORLD????

i mean really. i wish a whole year of high school was devoted to Handling Tough Phone Calls. The important thing is that you can not panic, remain calm, and win the confidence of the person. this should be a whole year of high school where you role play situations like this over and over and over and over and over and over again, until you can bullshit with the best of them.

i always feel like im MISSING something BASIC and FUNDAMENTAL that makes me DISABLED at doing the basic fundamentals of real adult life!

basically, i want nothing more than what this guy has: middle class job, making 55k a year, home in safe neighborhood, good looking wife, several smart good looking kids who are all going to Decent Colleges for Useful Degrees and who will PROBABLY turn out successful and themselves end up making more than 55k and not Lose at the War of Life.

i try not to gawk at the pictures of his beautiful family! where we can see that his late 40s wife is not a fat slob, and his children look happy, healthy, and NORMIE. and he himself is good and talking to people and HANDLING SHIT.

he is a smart guy, has good people skills, has a not super useful masters degree but still made it work. keeps himself in shape in his early/mid 50s, exercises, is not fat at all, gets on his kids cases for them to DO shit so they dont turn out losers like me hahahahahaha. so what does he think of a loser like ME that cant handle a PHONE CALL.

so thoughts like this can kinda ruin my day. if it wasnt that it would be something else, like i wasnt productive enough. although the phone call situation is worse, because it was an actual specific conversation/issue that i failed at pretty obviously.

i hate failing! but ive also gotten used to it. i guess i never hated it ENOUGH to work hard to STOP failing hahahah.

its like gambling and losing over and over and over and over and over again. which i also do hahaha. i am a losing gambler at the card table. it is partially being a bad gambler, and partially being unlucky.

and right now i am NEEDY for THAT WOMAN to cuddle with me and be luving to me and tell me im a big strong man who can handle all the adversities of life, and i will always be here to cuddle u and not leave you in the lurch.

hehehehe. of COURSE i know thats ridiculous. but its SO compelling and desirable. to want something SO BAD. its not the THING that’s so ridiculous, its the person I want it WITH.

NEEDY.

taake noregs vaapen. there must be something im not getting. how is this album not considered as boring as the previous, self titled album. this HAS to be a drum machine. HAS to be. and drum machines sound LIFELESS. compared to hsi first three albums, which is certainly a real drummer, and it sounds FULL of life.

see 1st song on NV. it sounds as lively as you can with a drum machine, because of hoests signature Interesting Catchy Riffs. ok fine.

but then the album stops being this catchy!

how can you NOT hear the difference IMMEDIATELY when you compare this to his first three albums?

oh thats not fair you say. well, lifes not fair. being an ARTIST isnt fair. he’s not being FORCED to make albums. this tells me he’s a DEGENERATE LAZY DRUNK on AUTOPILOT.

hahaha. well to go THAT far is a little unfair. ill always give him a chance. even when hes boring his aesthetic is good.

its kinda neat to hear some of his signature Weird Time Signature riffs with a drum machine.

and probably, the lack of Great Riffs is prob worse than having a drum machine.

but having a drum machine is just FOOLISH and NAIVE and INSULTING really.

http://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/Taake/Noregs_vaapen/313967/

no mentions of a drum machine. one guy thinks it sounds very similar to HD or NSPV, that you might ahve to double check which album you’re playing! wtf?!?!?!?! nope. WRONG.

all songs are midpaced 6 minute songs. all the songs song basically the same. it starts getting boring after 15 minutes which is NEVER a good sign. and the first 6 minute song is GOOD!

WOW bitcoin fees are SUPER high right now. I cant even SEND 10.15 with a .60 (USD) fee included because that fee is too small. the minimum recommended fee, in other words, is at LEAST 15 damn percent of the amount I want to send! so, in other words, 11.50 to send 10 dollars!

hmm. at 8.88 i am only pay at 10% fee. but trying to send 9.50 i’m paying like a 15% fee. it all has to do with the BYTES of the transaction….which this is not a linear progression as the amount goes up.

JUST TELL ME WHERE THE LOWEST PERCENTAGE FEE IS.

in other words, its a better value to send 8.88 than it is to send 8.90. literally. right around there, the fee-as-a-percentage-of-total-transaction SPIKES EXPONENTIALLY.

and price of btc is NOT crashing, in fact, its still at an ALL TIME HIGH.

had to do a 2.8 mile powerwalk and listen to some vapaudenristi to get muh mood up. felt like such a pathetic failure loser after my disappointing performance today. its like i LIKE losing, or INTEND to lose. I HATE disappointing people, and myself. and i’m certainly not consciously slacking off. i just get a person on the phone and I PANIC like a DEER IN HEADLIGHTS.

i guess the important part is that I LEARN from this and not let it happen EVER AGAIN hahaha.

yeah well in sports you get 3 strikes and youre out. but then you get to come BACK, many times per game. getting OUT is not really a big deal in the grand scheme of things.

this would be like you are only allowed like ONE STRIKE per entire baseball SEASON.

yeah but this ISNT baseball. it baseball getting many strikes per game is NORMAL. HERE, in the real world, getting more than 1 strike per….3 months? 6 months? is really really BAD.

but WHY?

jooz.

its not like it was the END OF THE WORLD. so this guy takes a phone call. i listened with him on speakerphone and also talked to the guy at the same time.

also, maybe this coworker gets too easily annoyed by stuff that he shouldnt get annoyed by. sometimes, yes. other times, he is perfectly chill and relaxed. maybe he is BIPOLAR hahahaha.

then i am JELLY he  can be bipolar and be a HIGH FUNCTIONING member of society.

like, better to be a raging alcoholic and functional and make 50k a year, rather than a sober person making 10k a year and NOT being functional hahahaha.

i dont have that woman to help boost me up. instead in my head came visions of The Hakenkreuz, and The Fuhrer standing proudly and courageously. those were the images that gave me some hope and strength. when in the past I might have thought of that woman’s smiling face, or some people think of images of jesus or mary. now im here powerwalking and imagining hister and the crooked cross hahahaha.

really WHATEVER WORKS i guess.

its just weird. most people thing of these things as evil and chilling. and now i am kinda treating them as MUH NEW GOD. The old god wasnt good enough so i got a new one hahaha. and his name is hister and his symbol is the Hooked Cross.

when AH was my age he had already accomplished quite a lot right? i think he was literally writing MK when he was about the same age I am now. so it makes sense that I should read MK at this age hahahaha.

I was talking to a colleague in a neighboring department about books and almost said I was reading MK. and then what would I say? shieeeeet.

i mean honestly. lots of people have interest in ww2 and the natzees and hister hahahaha. its not THAT weird.

took 1 benedryl but dont think i will take any more.

i should really make an effort to go see classic movies at The Movie Theater. even if i have to drive into the City to do so. like movies from the 40s and 50s, before the joos were too mean spirited and degen, and a joo could still make a not unwatchably degenerate movie.

https://bbs.dailystormer.com/t/soundgarden-lead-singer-chris-cornell-sucked-into-black-hole-sun-in-the-middle-of-a-concert/107273

DS is my #1 news source for all types of news hahahahaha

ok so cornell was possibly 50% joo. white father and mother “came from a jooish family.” so, cornell is 25-50% j.

ok this is not confirmed hehehe.

Anglin QUOTE How many men under 35 do you know who are happily married with kids? Even if you know several – and statistically, the probability is that you do not – most people do not know anyone in such a situation. So claiming this is because “men are all defective and just need to be better” is just about the stupidest f00king thing I’ve ever heard. Nuremberg trial-tier horseshit. END

source

https://bbs.dailystormer.com/t/how-mgtow-has-ruined-ds-message-to-the-younger-crowd/107390/10

i liked the OP and AA seems to be disagreein with OP. but this is a great point. i know several people OVER 35 with nice families, like the work colleagues, but they are all in their 50s.

i know one guy who is about 36 and has 2 young kids and he is one of the greatest guys i have ever met. I don’t know much about how he gets along with his wife though. they have been married for like 10 years tho. she seems ok.

i know another guy who is about 35 and has 1 kid and i hope he has more.

but again, i dont know details of how these guys marriages are. maybe their wives have TURNED on them and are looking to DIVORCE them. which would be TERRIBLE because these are both GREAT men who only a TRAITOROUS BITCH would divorce.

another guy quote: If you date, make sure you’ve known the woman for months beforehand. I will tell you that being friends with a woman will likely make you hate them more. They are shit friends and do horrible things.  END

hehehehehehehe

as a man, i LIKE those who I RESPECT. and its almost unnatural to respect a WOMAN. Men respect things like morality, honor, loyalty – all things that just do not matter to women at all. they’re not made for it, you cant expect it out of them, therefore you should never expect to really RESPECT a woman. i mean do you RESPECT your CHILDREN? u luv and protect your children, and are hopefully proud of them, but it’s just not appropriate to really “respect” your own children.

so STOP TRYING TO RESPECT WOMEN! you will only be disappointed! its about as IRRELEVANT, MISGUIDED, and CONFUSED as wanting to respect your children. it’s just NOT THEIR PLACE TO BE RESPECTED.

YOU are wrong for WANTING to respect them!

basically, in their inner natures, women are IMPOSSIBLE to like, and IMPOSSIBLE to respect, because the things that men like and respect, women don’t have, women CANT have them, women SHOULDNT have them, because they are jsut not capable of them.

and im just kinda buttmad that what women NATURALLY are, by nature or GOD, is something that men CANNOT like. because I WANT to like women.

but i guess thats my big mistake!

it is much better, healthier to LIKE hister and the hookcross than to LIKE women.

i wish women WERE likable!

but i SHOULDNT! thats WRONG of me!

so how you get rid of a WANT. of a DESIRE. its like WANTING something wrong or bad, like WANTING to use drugs and get fooked up on fentanyl hahahaha.

thats what WANTING to like and respect women is like. like a disgusting, pathetic alcoholic just wanting to get drunk again.

dont put the pvssy on a pedestal, put the fuhrer on a pedestal

hahahaha

if you Treat Women Right, they dump you and fook negros and rapeugees. PERIOD.

DO NOT TREAT WOMEN WELL hehehe. but you dont need to ABUSE them. per se. just dont treat them WELL.

ok so its fine to LIKE women who are over 50. ive stated that before. but i guarantee you would have HATED them when they were 20-49! and at every age in that 29 year range they are hatable in a different way!

the young ones because they are off fooking chads, at all ages really; and as they get closer to 30, they get more crazy with baby rabies and wedding rabies; then in 30s they get different crazy with divorce rabies and hypergamy rabies. thinking they are hotter and younger than they are.

the mother fooking WQ. like AA says, you prob dont know anyone who had their life DIRECTLY ruined by a J (but really we have all had our lives indirectly ruined by the horrible J culture and world!!!!) but you prob know SEVERAL people who have been royally skrewed by WOMEN.

WOMEN is one of THE major ways that the joo hurts us. they also hurt us thru SCHOOL and WORK and the Culture, but with women, it’s one on one shit, its PERSONAL!!! the women reaching into your chest and tear out your still beating heart in a way that these other jooish institutions dont, they just slowly rot your soul from the inside hahahaha.

 

 

 

ABG ALWAYS BE GRATEFUL

mar 8

sheeeeeeit. well i have cut muh cigaret smoking down by like 80% and dont really feel any cravings. so i am thankful for that.

OR AM I????

hhahahhahaha. maybe im not ACTUALLY thankful ENOUGH!

anyway. maybe i want to do MJ less because for a while i had moar privacy which would make WANTON use of MJ possible…..if i had any. that privacy is now gone, meaning even if i had some, it would be much more difficult to get out and use it. it could still be done, it would just be 3 times as hard.

i mean i would still do it. i would just do it less. MY POINT IS, I’M GRATEFUL that my DESIRE to use has decreased, in direct result of my OPPORTUNITY to use being limited. Since I know it’s less of a POSSIBILITY, i WANT it less.

anything that could make me WANT it less is a good thing. well, short of something thats even worse of course. like jerking off to porn 24/7. shit it would be better to just sm0ke mj.

ABG. ALWAYS BE GRATEFUL.

i would have told my younger self to never do MJ. never drink. dont go away to college. just stay at home, dont drink, dont do mj, do a stem degree, and if you dont want to do a stem degree, then do a business degree. use VIDYA if you want some form of drug to escape the “boredom” or despair.

humbling to think that VIDYA is a better alternative than Porn or Drugs or Alcohol.

but is drugs and alcohol worse than PORN? probably.

so MJ is worse than PORN?

YES.

hehehehe. damn. then how can i WANT it so bad?

i mean its apples and oranges really. its not worse than porn. it CAN be though. if you never watch porn and you always sm0ke mj. which would be the risk situation for me hahahaha. i mean i will never watch porn again. no desire to. i am DONE with that jooish filth. wish i could say the same about mj hahaha. but its not inherently jooish filth. it is pretty negrish tho hahahaha. nonwhite. arabs on hashish and such. africans and natives on MJ.

i played final fantasy 12 for 80 hours. those were 80 well spent hours. i dont regret doing it one bit. it was a great, fun, beautiful world. i would have spent those 80 hours better if i were job searching for a better job at the time. if i had spent that 80 hours in SKOOL, that would have been WORTHLESS. 80 hours of schoolwork will get you NOWHERE in life. 80 hours of schoolwork – reading, studying, homework, tests – gets you NOTHING. it gets you like 1 credit hour at best. 1/130th closer to a degree. 80 hours of job search will at least get you like 5 job interviews at least, and that’s worth something real.

but yeah its AMAZING what a WASTE of good time EDUCATION is. its LITERALLY just as bad as smokin WEED or looking at PORN. THAT is the true value of EDUCATION. isnt that DISGUSTING?

you might as well be working at WALMART. working at WALMART is a much better use of your time than EDUCATION.

its another totally jooish scam like porn, banks, loans, journalism.

so why dont i play vidya RIGHT NOW? why dont I just whip out the final fantasy and play it again? i’ve thought about it!

because i guess i would rather WRITE antijooish stuff to try to help a hwyte neet, than play 80 more hours of final fantasy.

i’ll tell you what i WOULD like to do, though. you can guess hahahaha. no not look at porn. have you even been reading what ive been saying. hahaha. i want to sm0ke w33d. everyday. right now. although somewhat less than i wanted to last week. thank GOD.

well you know what, wanting to sm0ke weed is a HELL of a lot better than wanting to be with that woman, or thinking about that woman. at least I have moved on from THAT.

is porn better than that woman?

in some ways……..yes? but still not worth it to use porn to try to get over her. i mean now we are just getting into philosophy 202 thought exercises. phil 101 would be like is abortion wrong. is being a slut wrong. is porn wrong. is cheating wrong. SUPER basic bitch stuff.

so lets say you get dumped because youre needy. i know im too needy and a big cause of women dumping me. but what if you rarely have a CHANCE to be needy….but when you do, you are? like you cant be needy unless they are somewhat considering dating you. which they very rarely are.

in other words, being that close to or have such a CONNECTION to someone is SO RARE, its almost NATURAL to become needy or overly attached. because its so damn RARE. it reminds you of what your life has been missing and now that you have a TASTE, youre instantly addicted. its like crack or heroin….but not nearly as easily available. not for YOU at least.

your key doesnt fit her lock. but many many other keys fit her lock. so you get butthurt about that too. whats so WRONG with YOUR key????? is it really THAT bad? its worse than negros and felons and cheaters and scumbags? apparently.

ANYWAY. thats old hat hahaha. who gives a shit. BITCHES BE BITCHES MAN. it doesnt mean youre WORSE than these negros, it just means they are better at Seducing Women than you are, and women are stupid as shit when it comes to seduction, they are even more stupid than a horny 16 year old boy wanting to look at porn. because nature wants these women to get pregnant NOW, so it makes them horny af, makes them sluts basically. they just have figured out (sort of) how not to get preggers. and if you do, nbd, just murder it. get it taken care of.

but youre goddamn right its frustrating they would pick sleazy negros over you. i cant blame you for being mad and butthurt and buttmad and bitter af.

again, there are some women who do not choose so poorly or recklessly. some women actually dislike negros and scumbags and cheaters and players and degenerates.

i mean this is basic bitch be masculine, be confident stuff. you can expect women to love confidence, but not to be able to discern good confidence from bad confidence. too much to ask. manage your expectations.

but yeah. every morning. before i go into my job, i say, god DAMN am I THANKFUL this is not my previous job. that I’m not dying of panic right now. that its so much of a chiller job. that i’m never gonna be in that situation where i have to answer that phone and i dont know what i;m doing or what to say. and the people around me are total professionals. i trust their judgment. i trust they know what they are doing. because they DO! they’re not bullshitting or telling me to bullshit!

i supposed i should use a clearer term because bullshit can mean at least 3 different things, including friendly banter or friendly exaggerations. usually when i say bullshit, i mean jooish lies to try to intentionally lie or hide something from somebody. not telling the full truth. being sneaky and jooish and dishonest and bad faith and….jooish! when you are trying to joo somebody!!!

its too late for me. but if i can just sm0ke w33d and watch hwyte people and hwyte children win, i will be happy enough i guess hahahaha. i will dnate money towards that end.

well when i see some hwyte people, especially younger, win at life, i sometimes get JEALOUS/ENVIOUS. and as i get older, everyone else gets younger hahaahahahaha.

 

http://archive.is/dkwM2

heh just be grateful you can make 25k as a 20 year old and just sm0ke tons of weed when you are not at work and grateful you have a job where you are not actively nervous and panicking the whole time and panicking about how you are going to SURVIVE one day at a time, every single day.

nobody said anything about sm0king tons of MJ hahahaha. that is one of the FIRST things i would have suggested.

yeah i havent ruled out that i might have ADD as well as despair and anxiety and bipolar. so you just take 4 different medz a day then hahahaha. go out drinking with your coworkers so you can become friends with them and they will stand up for you rather than throw you udner the bus. assuming you can still drink. i cannot so that does not help my working situation for when i have a REAL job like this guy ahahahaha.

wewlad i know that feel. being passive aggressive and needy and low confidence. its why i push all my friends away and will never have a gf hahahahahahahahahahaha

of course all the women on reddit with 600000000000 admirers are condescending and womansplaining to the poor guy hahahaha. oh yeah THIS is why i hate reddit hahahaha. cuz the women are so stupid.

they think they are SMART because theyre so successful in life with their 28k a year and all their relationship experience. how about you get monogamously married and have 3 children. instead of having your main goal in life being career and TRAVEL. its always TRAVEL TRAVEL TRAVEL TRAVEL with these women. red flag.

travel is fine, travel is good, but to make it a huge goal and talk about it more than family and children? not good. yeah i wouldnt mind traveling to a MJ legal place and just doing MJ hahahahaha. or i wouldnt mind traveling to yurop for 6 months. not gonna happen though and that thought doesnt eat me up inside.  but yeah i dont trust these wanderlust millennials who like to  travel so much. hints at being a ((( rootless cosmopolitan ))). no thank you. put down some roots. blood and soil.

ok closed reddit. too triggering with these modern women.

i get more excited about eating a tasty MEAL than i do about the idea of TRAVEL. i get WAY more excited about the idea that one day I might have a big bag brimming with mid grade indica budz.

again i dont hate travel. there are many places in the world, in the US, in my state, that I would like to see. its just not a huge priority. i mean shit. if im feeling adventurous i would go to this park 15 miles away which i havent gone to in 15 years. with a bunch of MJ for a fun day in the woods and trails and lake. would totally take a woman there if i had any interest in any woman hahahaha.  i should really go there myself but i REALLY have to PUSH myself to do things like that by myself.

or just go with a regular friend. but i have pushed them all away because i am too passive aggressive, aloof, never lift a finger hahahaha.

oh well at least i am not a jobless neet any more, dont have to do 28 interviews and 550 apps anymore, now i have an 11k a year job hahahahaha.

apparently youre supposed to get used to people never telling you good job for the work that you do. we millennials raised to want a prize just for showing up. entitlement hahahaha. well my response is, whats wrong with a little praise and encouragement. ALSO, I am VERY willing to GIVE that praise and encouragement to OTHER people because I KNOW it feels good to be complimented on your work! so i compliment other people just to be nice and make them feel good!!!!!! don’t other people do this? just being NICE to other people? you compliment them even if they aren’t #1.

i complimented people all the time at my last horrible job. they appreciated it and they tried to compliment me. i prob didnt get enough compliments from higher up but who cares about them, my loyalties were to my team, not my higher ups hahahahaha.

at current job, i am prob happy with the level of compliments. and i tell the other people good job just to be nice and a team player. maybe theyre doing a shitty job. but i really dont think they are.

i imagine its a lot less triggering to read the women of reddit when you have a stable rel with a woman who is loyal to you, luvs you, sucks you off, etc. then you can just chuckle at these neurotic catladies bitching about everything.

but if you dont have that with a woman, then you take what these other women are SAYING way too SERIOUSLY. you should NEVER take what a woman SAYS seriously.  well, not on reddit. if she is saying she just wants to be casual friends, yeah i guess you should take that seriously too. or when she is letting slip gems about how many guys shes fooked and she doesnt realize she’s showing her slut level.

basically dont let what women say on REDDIT trigger you. just let it go hahahaha. step away from the reddit. meditate on big green bags of w33d that you wish you had hahahahaha.

shit maybe look at some HOOKERS on the erotic review hahahahaha.

read the local newspaper and upvote all the racist or right wing comments. maybe meet up with these people and buy them drinks, see if they can get you a better paying job when you tell them how much you fooking LUV being HWYTE.

meditate on how fooking AWESOME it is to be HWYTE. no joke.

march 9

so its super early, 648 am, really i could sleep in another 20 to 30 minutes but i dont mind getting up early, checking email, writing here, having time to have a 3rd stomach churning coffee water p00p if i have to (and i fully intend to in about 10 mins) and look at weather and traffic and email and calendars for people. get

ok had to do that before 10 minutes hehehe

but yeah so this is my opportunity to pump myself up. do the best i can. that was a valuable reddit thread above on the young man who is trying to get used to the world of work. it is a very fundamental question. even the people who are fortunate and skilled and smart enough to be gainfully employed at 28k a year have great difficulty adjusting to it emotionally.

50% of people are failures at life hahahaha.

this is what education SHOULD do. it should prepare children with the skills for work, so that they are GUARANTEED a 28k a year job as soon as they get out of high school at age 18. or more like 16. and you dont graduate until you have that job. and there would also be classes in high school on How To Adult: how to buy a home, how to raise children, how to be emotionally stable for 50-100 hours of WORK a week, how to not do drugs. schools and education fail at all these outcomes (objectives?). i mean yeah this stuff is probably the responsibility of the parents anyway. but these are THE most important things!!!! so keep your kids out of school and teach them The Most Important Things yourself because schools are absolutely useless.

education should be noble and sacred but the joos have ruined it, used it as a weapon against the stupid goyim. horrific. a travesty. also, you shouldnt leave The Most Sacred Trust up to a class of Professional Strangers! yeah yeah yeah at least 50% of them are True Believers in Making A Difference in Kids Lives and thats great, BUT, they still get trained in marxism by marxists and their good intentions are pretty much ruined hahaha.

maybe That Woman was way out of my league, she was way too good for me, because she was not a single mother. i simply don’t DESERVE a woman who is NOT a single mother. let alone one under 30 AND hwyte AND somewhat attractive!! WAY out of my league!!!!

i mean i am pretty much done with women until i stumble upon the next one hahahaha or take the action to Get A Hooker. i mean i cant legit try to Date Women until I have a 28k job, thats the rule, right? and all those online dating women are just a Marginal, Nominal, Horrifically Tiny step from being Hookers themselves, just less honest hookers hahahaha. with a hooker you know what youre getting. a woman who takes cash to fook 50000000 men.

but yeah i had that uncomfortable thought as i came home from a very easy day of making 11k a year: SHE WAS WAYYYYY OUT OF MY LEAGUE. SHE WAS WAYYYYYY TOO GOOD FOR ME. How FOOLISH of me to even entertain the thought. a hwyte trash fatherless gurl who is not super smart hahaha. way out of my league just because she doesnt have kids. and she is a solid 7/10 hahaha.

was she really out of my league? on paper it sounds like yes. but she wasnt out of league to be muh frand. and really its amazing she hadnt become a single mom herself yet. maybe she has by now. it doesnt matter.

but yeah when they dump you in a nice way, it doesnt bother you so much that they are out out of your league. when they dump you in a ruff way, you think, wow, maybe they were APPALLED that I had the AUDACITY to think I was even CLOSE to their league.

lesson: always be nice when you dump someone. dump people the way you want to be dumped.

did i learn my lesson: of course i did. how many more times must i say it. just blurt everything out as soon as possible. tell the whole truth immediately. i mean i hate to think i was a LIAR. I wasnt HIDING the truth. i was just too COWARDLY to tell the full truth, that i was heavily hinting with the way i was acting. lying would be acting one way, then denying it. i never DENIED anything. i was never asked to confirm or deny anything. but yeah i was no innocent victim. i had a role in my own downfall hahaha.

start of the weekend. no mj available. took 1 benedryl immed on getting home. plan to take 2 valium thruout day. not 3. 2 valium and prob 1 more benedryl.

i dont think women should be banned from asking questions/OP’s on reddit. i just think they should be banned from ANSWERING them!

http://bbs.dailystormer.com/t/half-a-million-pussies-march-on-washington-demanding-president-trump-grab-them/79313

great article about women. go throw some shekels at anglin now that his tshirt sale is closed. good thing i bought one hahahaha.

My grandmother always said it should cost $5,000 for a marriage license , and $50 to get divorced. That way you will be absolutely sure that you are serious about it. sez guy on daily stormer bbs.

well, it already costs like 6000000000000000 to get married, but not for the license, but for the stupid bridezilla wedding. and then it costs 60000000000000000000000000000000000000000000 dollarydoos to get divorced hehehe. but i see the guys point and its a good one, i agree.

another great quote in the thread from oberstein:

”  xOberstein Jan 22  reply to: TaureanPolishAngel [he’s mansplaining to a young women how men and women are different]
Pretty much the same reason women are naturally hypergamous. It’s two sides of the same coin.

Men are lookers and initiators. They’re attracted to looks, and they have to consider as many women as possible to find one who they are interested in and who is interested in them. The men who are successful at relationships are those who are the most active in searching for a partner, and the best at wooing her. These men can’t just radically change their personality once they enter a relationship. They’re still going to find other women attractive – that’s not something they can just turn off. This is why men are considered polygamous, and why unprincipled men sometimes cheat.

Women are not active in finding relationships – while men are the lovers, women are the beloved. This is why you (presumably) wait for a man to ask you out, rather than asking him out yourself. Once a woman is in a relationship, she is devoted to her partner, because she has little experience in finding random men attractive or seriously considering strangers as potential partners. However, if another man enters her life who she finds more attractive than her current partner, she is likely to return his affections and cheat. This is why women are considered hypergamous.

Jealousy affects both men and women when their partner cheats, both because people want to be loved (obviously) and because having your partner cheat seriously damages your chance of reproducing. In fact, I’d argue that men go through much, much more pain than women if their partner cheats on them or breaks up with them. The suicide statistics don’t lie. http://i.imgur.com/irQtOYz.png4   ”

saor guardians. great album and gets even better with time hehehehe.

ate dinner, took one valium, drinking coffee and listening to saor guardians. great album.

ya know why i dont like women? because they’re not as MORAL as men, and I prefer moral people to less moral people. now i totally understand that women arent SUPPOSED to be as moral as men, they dont have to be. but i also dont think nature is FORCING women to be less moral than men. i mean it wouldn’t be UNNATURAL for women to be a little bit more moral. although as it is, it’s not unnatural for them not to be moral either. becuase they dont NEED to be, they never NEEDED to be. men NEED to be. so i just contradicted myself hahaha. but yeah even though women have less of a NEED to be moral, nothings STOPPING them from being more moral if they WANT.

i like more moral people better than less moral people, so i like men better than women hehehehe.

and believe i believe women COULD be more moral if they real WANTED to, i resent them for taking the Easy Way Out.

heh. setting clocks forward two days prior to daylight savings time simply because i can hahahaha. gives me more time to adjust haha.

well the women i DO actually know in real life seem pretty moral. again im going back to this FICTIONAL, IMAGINARY woman who doesnt really exist. it’s not even an accurate representation of That Woman although in my mind it kinda “looks” like her. but she wasnt super immoral or evil or jooish, she was just human hahahaha just like any of us.

jooish, thats a good word for immoral, hahaha. synonymous.

mansplaining is just explaining. womansplaining is not explaining at all, its just BULLSHITTING.

aphorisms, like nietzsche hahahaha.

schoepenhauer. was he any good?

weininger. was he a joo? if so, you know where he goes.

904 pm (really 804 but i am trying to train my mind) took second and last valium. will prob take benedryl in a few hours then go to bed.

a good day at the table today, doubled muh stack finally. i need to do this a lot more!

i wonder if i were in high school right now how easy it would be to get MJ.

when i was in high school it wasnt too hard to get MJ although i wasnt looking to buy too much ever.

when i went to college i wanted it much more. and it was PROBABLY even easier to get, but it seemed harder, because i had less friends in college than i did in high school, had a very hard time adjusting and making friends. i eventually made friends and then it was easier to get MJ, but things would still run dry more than youd expect. and you had very little choice. just buy super expensive high grade stuff or get nothing at all hahahaha. i wanted mid grade but couldnt find it. everything was super top shelf kind buds. wawawawawawa. nothing for more working class people. these were all super middle class uni kids. and many of them were decent, even great people.

although if i were younger and in high school or college right now…..i shouldnt be smoking mj because that was one of the big mistakes where i threw my youth away and became a failure at adulting now. was because i smoked too much mj back then. and alcohol, and porn, and being a weirdo, and not going to a shrink, and not taking meds, and being stubborn, and remaining in the useless college situation i was in, rather than going to a less middle class, closer to home uni and getting a degree in stem or business or machining. all those were factors, not just the mj.

heh. its like i dont have the energy or will or agency or initiative to ACT on what i’ve learned from all my mistakes and failures. i’ve learned the lessons but still DO NOTHING.

world womens day. fook off. what is this bullshit. first the womens march on washington, now world womens day, women stay home from work, etc. so stupid. its all just a gay ass jooish protest against glorious leader trvmpenfuhrer. they think hes literally hitler and wants to throw women and muslims in ovens. shit i wish he did hahahaha. well, not hwyte women hahaha. but publicly hanging traitors would be fine. would send a great message. its a little barbaric i guess. so you could put bags over their heads, and just let their hanging bodies hang there for a week. that would still get the point across.

i mean ideally women wouldnt go to work to begin with. and a family could survive on one income and men wouldnt have to compete against women for jobs in this grotesque abomination that is enough to turn me against capitalism hahahahaha. to see it as the other jooish side of the jooish coin of communism. just like the two sided joooish coin of marxism and zionism, you have the two sided jooish coin of communism and capitalism. DAMN.

so yeah just give me nationalism. hwyte nationalism.  with somewhat free trade optimised for the benefit of your hwyte citizens. hwyte fascism hahahaha.  and i would be a softie about hanging hwyte traitors. id hang a few though. the hardcore people would say not enough.

i dont even know if id hang illegal aliens hahaha. no i would literally catapult or airdrop them into their home countries. make them pay for it hahahah. shit i might even have our taxpayers pay for us, because it would benefit our country. just like The Wall. imho we dont need to make mexico pay for it. if you can get them to, FINE, but it’s still a good deal even if we have to pay for it. just build it quickly, dont put it off. people want to see this wall soon. i really hope he doesnt waffle on this wall and literally starts building it NOW. i dont care if its more of a see through grate or fence.  FINE. it makes sense, that you could see through and shoot through the wall. how about even just prisons have rows of barbed wire fences. that would be fine. throw up some cheap barbed wire fences. have manned guard posts every mile with people in there 24/7 with gunz hehehehe. yeah that would be expensive sure. but patriotic murkans would prob be willing to pay for it. would rather my tax dollars go to it than welfare bennies for illegals hahahahaha.

really i bet blacks are a bigger problem than illegals or muslims hahaha. well in some areas the illegals are about as big a problem as the blacks hahahaha. and the black question has been a tough one for many years because of course its connected to slavery. im not so stupid that i would deny that!

HA! watching watters world on fox news and he is interviewing people outisde the alamo and he talked to a metalhead wearing an inquisition shirt. he looked kinda latinx though hahahaha. almost certainly a degen but never saw an inquisition shirt on tv before hahaha. they are bretty kewl and there were rumors they were racis. ok they showed the guy again and he looked pretty white. inquisition is from south america america and im sure they are mixed mestizos, but i’d also say they are 75% white mestizos hahaha.  i would be willing to go to one of their concerts, i hear their concerts are GREAT.

mar 10

yep long post but my hands are tied. it is what it is what it is. because i already have 99 drafts and if i add one more, i get shut down. thats a wordpress rule. in fact im surprised they havent shut me down for my wrongthink.  even if you DONT talk about violence, and i dont, or crime, but you just talk about the JQ for long enough, and you will get shut down. you cant even talk about it. thats how you know its some serious shit hahahaha. so i thank god im a murkan, where at least i know im free. we have a lot more freedumz than other formerly hwyte nations like canada or uk or germany or aus.

the first song on this album is extremely catchy and popped in my head yesterday. this album came out in 1999 or 2000 and i remember it was a big deal. i was just starting to learn about black metal and death metal at that time and I remember when the album came out and i bought it on CD and everyone was like wow the great emperor finally came out with their follow up to the Groundbreaking Anthems album.

i suppose this IXE album sounds a bit dated today since black metal really didnt end up evolving this way and im kinda glad it didnt! ie overwrought symphonic stuff. but there are still some sweet riffs and fast blasts here.

and then emperor has become completely irrelevant and ihsahn still has plenty of die hard fans but he is certainly not Bleeding Edge any more. not that he has to be.

and then by 2001 i didnt really care about their final album hahaha.

they are not BAD, just….ITNE and Anthems were their best albums hahaha. maybe wrath of the tyrant too but im not familiar enough with that one haha.

in general, i am quite happy with the way black metal has been evolving the past 25 years or so hahaha and boy has it been evolving and i’m grateful that i can be happy about the direction its taking. both the throwback stuff, and the pagan stuff, and the artsy blackgaze alternative hipster stuff, the american stuff, the british stuff, the finnish stuff, the french stuff, the orthodox stuff, it’s all good!

http://archive.is/qpYAJ

hit piece on andrew anglin from columbus paper, feb 2017

http://bbs.dailystormer.com/t/the-atlantics-luke-obrien-launches-campaign-of-harassment-to-shut-down-speech-of-political-activist/90830

anglin tells of sleazy journos being sleaze joornos. they are the scum of the earth and the enemy of the people hehehe.

oh hay yesterday march 9 was the 99th birthday of george lincoln rockwell RIP.

http://archive.is/lYvw8

full text of “THIS TIME THE WORLD” his autobiog

http://laraj.ca/AGwiki/uploads/Fascism/America/George%20Lincoln%20Rockwell%20-%20This%20Time%20the%20World.pdf

pdf here made pretty by our lad zeiger, will prob get taken down hahaha

https://archive.org/stream/ThisTimeTheWorld/ThisTimeTheWorld_djvu.txt

i should buy a hard copy because this deserves to be proudly displayed on all hwyte men’s bookshelves hahahaha

i should have been reading and praising GLR for YEARS, its SAD ive only really started getting into him now. Sad! he was a giant. a LION of a man. without him, there would be no dr pierce, no david duke, no vvn, no 14 words, no dr greg, no weev, no andrew anglin, no trs. no me hahaha.

i mean this guy cuts right to the chase immediately and is just as timely as ever. on the first page, calling out the J and the WELTFEIND hahahaha. the twin evils of zionism and bolshevism. crush zionism. good lord. no rambling for pages and pages.

also he is just a good writer and not just a good speaker. he could and did write a good book that seems like it will be a pleasure to read.

even though he was tragically murdered FIFTY years ago, the stuff still reads like it was written TODAY.

http://bbs.dailystormer.com/t/why-america-losing-its-cyberwar-stockpile-is-good-for-america/90756

mar 10 new article by weev writing for daily stormer. did not show up in muh google alerts for weev! maybe google is banning daily stormer from search results hehehe. i found it thru a link on a reddit that appears to be picking up where /r/altright left off when it was shut down.

heh. there are so many articles on daily stormer you cant even find them on the front page hehehe.

 

WHY CANT MORE WOMEN THINK SLVTTISHNESS IS AT LEAST A LITTLE BIT GROSS

jan 5 new current year

just getting ready for the day. 656 am. i could PROBABLY sleep in an extra 15 minutes. maybe i will eventually do that. but i like having this buffer of time to write a few sentences, check email, and, of course, go make explosive coffee water #2’s like i am about to do right now.

ok did that. i mean its really quick.

anyway yeah my main issue now, and i didnt really have this at the previous job because that job was so stressful and packed that we really never had a chance to talk about anything not job related, we were all just trying to survive day to day. but now that the pace is a little slower THANK GOD, i am pressuring myself to be more social and charismatic and normie.

i mean i will take this new problem ANY DAY over what I faced before. im not complaining haahahha. well i kind of am. but never forget, that in comparison, it is not even 1% as bad altogether. i get a 99% reduction in stress and panic and thats The End Of The Story.

spent like an hour responding to a Support Ticket today that in my previous job, would have been expected to knock out in 20, or better 10 minutes. it doesnt matter if you dont know the answer. find the answer and answer it within 10 minutes. I laboriously wrote an email like the sloth. included Too Much Information and Misinformation. and I probably didnt even need to do ANYTHING, because someone else would be in in the afternoon that knew a lot more about the topic. an SME. but i was determined to Do Something and Add Value and figure out how to use the ticket system better. So I took a shot at it and hopefully superiors say good for him to try this, rather than, oh shit what a stupid fookup, i wish we could fire him, but he’s in the union grrrrrr. he totally did this wrong. gave the person bad advice, poorly written, and used the program in more wrong ways than we could imagine hehehehe.

anyway i did ok i guess. give myself a little more crrrrredit hahaha. had a paltry two customers in today and tried to act like a nice normie to them. painfully awkward small talk. jeez. for a while, i used to be GOOD at this. at my previous job. after i talked to people ALL DARN DAY i got pretty good at small talk. wish the learning curve wasnt that rough. because i cant handle talking to people ALL DARN DAY….well, when its complicated complex shit. and what im doing now is nowhere near as complex. it can get complex, but there are SEVERAL SME’s with Masters Degrees just waiting to Yank the Case from me. Aint No Need to BEG like I did before!

the beotch in the comments is half good and half bad. she says that she is automatically suspicious of anyone who talks of a BEST friend who is opposite sexs,usu means you are in luv with them. i would tend to agree! i guess you can have normal acquaintance friends of the opposite secx, but once you upgrade them to BEST friends or really really really close top tier friends….you are at big risk of getting FEELINGS for them. because of the INTIMACY.

i hate how wimmin dont think SEX is INTIMATE. god damn fooking SAVAGES.

well at least got under in calories today.

would LUV some MJ hahahaha.

https://www.google.com/webhp?sourceid=chrome-instant&ion=1&espv=2&ie=UTF-8#q=small%20talk%20for%20socially%20awkward%20people

i dont HATE small talk. i totally understand the idea of and why small talk is important. i would like to be able to DO small talk! any stupid autist who says small talk is retarded…..well thats a very immature and stupid thing to say. small talk is the basis of everything. big talk. relationships. success. friends. luvers. showing that you have charisma and confidence and that you are a smart cool charming person and worth hanging out with. or you can faily miserably and show what a boring, awkward, desperate, pathetic omega neet virgin you are hahahahahaha. this is all accomplished on the battlefield of small talk. small talk is ridiculously important and big hahahaha. i totally get that.

so yeah i luv the idea of small talk. i hate trying to do it and failing at something so important.

well this job will def be another big step in getting over that woman. makes it more and more distant. but damn i wish i hadnt been so pathetic and stupid and Creepy. wish id been stronger and cooler and not so desperate and needy and clingy.

so apparently you cant just walk into a store and buy MJ in california nao.

i guess i could tell people that i am interested in Relships and read Relship Advice stories a lot. because I honestly DO! this is kinda weird but its prob my most normie interest. i mean, cant talk to people about WN1488, Alt Right, or Black Metal. talking about RELSHIPS sounds completely reasonable and normie next to all that. and I could work in some spin on how casual secs is degenerate and sinful and disgusting.

women can be awkward and it doesnt hurt them, they can still gets jobs and relships. men and women are probably about equally socially awkward, but theres DISPARATE IMPACT on the men.

anyway. re that woman. yeah now that i think about it, a series of long conversations probably wouldnt have done much good. what WOULD have done some good is me making a BRIEF statement EARLY, like: yep i’m starting to act weird and want to hang out all the time becuase i’m starting to get feelings for you. This is getting hard for me to deal with and I don’t mean to Ghost you, but just do me a solid and give me some time and space, because I dont think you feel the same way, and I need some space to get over my feelings for you. Sorry. Best Wishes in life. You are a good person and I don’t mean to dump you. But this is hard for me and it needs a lot of effort from me. Think of a time when you got feelings for a guy friend and he didn’t return them. It was challenging, wasn’t it. The end.”

even that’s a little too long. and then if she did have feelings, she could respond to that. hahahahaha. so yeah. clearly she thought i was the entitled nice guy and was dreading the dreadful conversation where i tried to BEG her to be with me and tell her why she was WRONG when she said she didnt want me. and she didnt want to put up with that.

i mean i was already BEGGING her to respond. why wouldnt i BEG her to reconsider or change her mind or pleeeeease luvvvvv me back. the torture of hours of me begging.

yeah well i didnt even get a chance. thats the point. maybe i would have been mature about it. but desperate luv compromises your maturity. shit.

but yeah. i coulda and SHOULD HAVE finished all this with one SHORT email in december 2014. rip the bandaid off. sorry babe but I like like you. i obv need to get over that because you dont return the feelings. so i have to take a break from this friendship. i dont want to leave you in the lurch so let me know if i can pay an early termination fee or something. reddit said this can hurt for the friend to get friend dumped, so tell me what i can do to make this easier for you. though i promise you its a LOT harder for ME hahahahahahaha because my heart is utterly broken now and I might fall off the wagon and start doing heron again and K myself hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha jk.

why would i even LOOK at tinder. its full of sluts who think casual sex is OK. fundamental incompatibility of Core Moral Values.

i want to meet women who think sluts are gross and being a slut is gross. i want to meet women who JUDGE sluts. negatively.

WHY DONT MORE PEOPLE JUDGE SLUTS NEGATIVELY. WHY DO SO MANY PEOPLE THINK SLUTTISHNESS IS OK. DAMN. WHY CANT MORE PEOPLE, ESP WOMEN, JUST THINK ITS AT LEAST A LITTLE BIT GROSS.

and why are these damn sluts such successful ADULTS. good normie ADULTS. good at college, good at career, people dont think theyre WEIRD, they LEARN shit and UNDERSTAND shit and can EXPLAIN shit. really get deep into blooms taxonomy of learning hahahaha. learn something deeply. you dont learn something until you can teach it to someone else. those who can’t do, teach HAHAHAHAHAHA.

some people say, dont do a masters degree unless you’re passionate and absolutely sure about it. dont half ass it, or use it as a stopgap because you dont know what else to do, you will waste too much money for too little return.

i tend to like this school of thought.

but then there the other side, which is like, we all need to pay our dues and do things that are tough and expensive and struggle in the medium term of 4 years or so, so things pay off 5, 10 years later. the day comes where you put away your childish toys, put on your big boy pants, and accept that you have to go to work for a living, and spent 80% of your waking hours doing things you dont really WANT to do, that you arent really PASSIONATE about, so you might as well maximize this by doing something that will pay off in the long run.

well, i had enough trouble going to college in a state of welp, i dont know what to do, but i got good grades in high school and i’m expected to go to college. so just pay your dues, get the extremely expensive piece of paper, and then you’ll be set.

but that was all lies hahahaha. so now the goalposts are moved? and i should go into GRADUATE school with the same mindset?

yeah but its a lot different getting into grad school than getting into undergrad. i did great in high school and got into a good undergrad without really much effort or maturity or planning. i did completely average in undergrad and could not see myself getting into an above average grad school without totally busting my ass in a go-getting, gung-ho, high-energy way that i have NEVER been.

and it doesnt seem WORF IT to pay shitloads of money to go to an average or below-average grad program, just to treat it as College 2.0 for when College is the New High School and Grad School is the new College and i hate the whole scam system anyway!

but in life you gotta SUCK IT UP and DO WHAT YOU GOTTA DO!

and why dont NORMIES have such a god damn internal conflict about it? they just go ahead and work hard and GIT R DONE.

heh. i wish i had a Career Coach ever since I was 16, staying on my ass and saying you need to do this, you need to do that.

now some people, their families do that. the chinee high expectations father. you can become doctor or engineer. get your masters degree or youre out of the family. i didnt have that at all, i was SPOILED.

cuz i didnt WANT to do anything. i needed to be trained with the carrot and the stick. left to my own devices in College, i totally went astray. a strong guiding hand, a foot being put down, that prob would have helped me in the long run. classic first world problems of being first in the fam to go to college hehehe. and of course i didnt appreciate that privilege at all. damn.

if i had to go to college, should have gone to local uni and stayed at home so the fam could have kept me in line, from doing stupid shit like MJ and alcohol.

but i still did MJ and alcohol when i was at home! i just hid it really well. i either would have gotten a DUI much earlier (which prob would have been GOOD), and probably did a bit less MJ, which DEF would have been good. definitely would have seen less of those crazy women doing crazy shit, which would have been good.

i dunno. alternate realities and what ifs and all that. i mean i still went crazy over women when being at home.

but yeah. ive never liked SCHOOL, and ive never liked WORK, and doing EITHER is PULLING TEETH.

See those normies? GOALS.

Goals are important. Goals are A Thing. See what happens when you have goals? You should have goals. Get Goals. Goals. Just Achieve Them.

all of education is fooked up. from grade school to grad school. serious fundamental problems with ALL of it.

heh. there should be homeschool grad school.

but you dont NEED grad school!!!!

well grad school is just perfect for some people! they are total grad school nerds! they clearly belong there!

i couldnt see myself getting in just because i couldnt see myself getting convincing recommendations and statement of intent. uhhh i want to get into grad school because i cant get a 26k FT job with a bachelors degree, so i’m really just treating this as high school 3.0. i fookin hate school but this is the bare minimum for being lower middle class in 2000s.

I would MUCH RATHER Just Work A Job. An Entry Level, 25k a year job, than go to god damn grad school. not that i have a good shot at getting into grad school ANYWAY! I have a better chance at getting the 25k a year job! and weve seen how fooking ridiculously godforsakenly hard THAT is! maybe it IS easier getting into a masters degree at a shitty noname school! MBA at phoenix!

yeah but i dont WANT to do an MBA, i would rather do a masters in relationship and despair counseling. which is an inherently useless degree! catch 22 here. quite the dilemma. and i dont want to be a social worker working with welfare blacks for a contractor with the city of oakland or the city of ferguson or something.

although its funny. today one of my “customers” was a black guy with an mba and I tried to make small talk with him. he was much better at it than me, but i am at least trying to be nice folks, i swear. but i cant talk about sports or anything. i cant tell this black guy that i am a trump supporting hwyte nationalist racist hahahaha. i nervously mentioned my interest in “news and current events”, which is FAIR…..BUT WHAT IF PEOPLE TAKE THAT BAIT and try to get you talking about TRVMP??????

well shit, this guy could actually BE a trump supporter, he seems to be a rather moderate, conservative, white acting, oreo black. almost like he is now overcompensating to not talk like a black, he is very well spoken, great speaking voice. he even made jokes about the HR diversity sensitivity training we had to do about trannies and shit hahahahahaha. i laughed and said yeah I hear ya man. well we didnt talk specifically about trannies. or have a frank conversation on race hahahahahaha.

see i dont hate blacks hahahaha. i just had an awkward conversation with a grad school educated black man hahahaha.

also all these people have experience giving lectures and discussions in front of groups of people. they have done that hundreds of times. there is no possible argument that this is not a GREAT life skill.

i would be dropping the spaghetti all over the place. oh now im the TEACHER and my STUDENTS are gonna think im an IDIOT. i never wanted to be a teacher but now i want to be a teacher even LESS, hahahahaha.

shit i can barely be a STUDENT. I can barely be a 13k a year EMPLOYEE. I cant even be a bare minimum ADULT. hahahahaha. I fooked up on easy mode, cant even deal with NORMIE MODE, hahahahaha.

funny all this goddamn self doubt even though now i am damn WORKING and that is an INFINITE improvement over where i was 2 months ago. why not just be happy about that.

went all in with AA, guy beat me with full house. sheeeeeeit.

heh. wonder what that woman is doing with her life right now. i know she got a job similar to what we were doing. probably making similar or more money, maybe higher up, def lots of hours, def lot more money than me, def making literally TWICE the money I am making. well shell have plenty of money to spend on her black bastard then hahahahahahahahahahahaha wawawawawawawawawawawa im so sad and lonely and want her back and will never get over her, muh perfect waifu hhahahahaha.

yeah i am playing things up a bit. but for a long time thats how bad it was. bad shit. wouldnt wish on worst enemy.

i guess its worse when i am working alongside 20 year old kids and they are all going to college, yup working on muh engin degree or nursing degree or HR degree, and then they graduate and get a 28k a year job, while you remain at the kid student job. at least here i dont have any young kids beside me being a constant reminder of what an old failure i am hahahahahahaha.

WOMEN HAVE NO MORAL COMPASS AND ARE WIRED TO HATE OMEGA MEN

wed aug 9

so people used to drink like 1% alcohol beer because it was cleaner than water, the alcohol killed all the germs and viruses and bacteria and shit in the water, so it was actually safer to drink beer than water. and you stayed hydrated by drinking weak beer instead of water.

could you dump dirty water into beer and then the smallest amount of alcohol would kill all germs? i dont think it worked that way. like, you couldnt ADD shit. you could MAKE really watery beer and then THAT water would be ok.

whenever i read shit on /relships, im like, why are you even asking? just dump them. just dump them.

then i realize its because they actually CARE, they dont WANT to dump them, they want to save this relship, they are WILLING to MAKE AN EFFORT, they dont WANT to LOSE this person.

and it is painful when a person just wants to be DONE with you. they want to be done with you SO MUCH that they are ok with never talking to you or seeing you ever again. you might as well have DIED.

at least send your mom, or your BFF, or your new BF, or a Social Work Student, to be a messenger of the bad news and to say SORRY, I KNOW THIS SUCKS FOR YOU. or you can just send an email or text yourself which says that. sorry, i know this sucks for you, i dont mean to cause you this pain, but i cant do this anymore, i have to back out, sorry, the end.

how hard is it to send a TEXT saying THAT? it takes LESS THAN ONE MINUTE. to throw away a person without even taking LESS THAN ONE MINUTE to say something to them is just ridiculous hahaha. i would NEVER do it to anyone.

now i am on the outs with people but its completely different situation. like for an incorrigible addict who has been given countless chances by everyone in their life. that’s not what was happening with me and that woman. i felt i wasnt even being given ONE chance to Air The Grievances. Festivus hahahaahahaha.

i AGREE that at some point you can talk about it TOO MUCH and talking about it any more wont do you any good, you just need to END it.

i’m not sure when that point is. probably when one person is sick of TALKING about it and the other person is obviously not listening AT ALL. I think this is probably more than three times. use the old three strikes rule of thumb.

so yeah i dont feel i got three strikes. never even TALKED about it ONCE. SO THERE.

eyebrows. never understood the manicuring of eyebrows on women. i have about average eyebrows and i would be perfectly happy with a woman who had the exact same eyebrows as me. well i have one eyebrow hair that grows extremely long. not sure how that happened but i just trim that one single hair like every 3 months and that is good enough. basically i prefer a natural look to an artificial look, and everything women do to make themselves up looks so artificial to me! women of a certain age are NATURALLY beautiful! why do they want to fook it up by making it look ARTIFICIAL?

for a similar reason I don’t like makeup, lipstick, eye shadow, eyelash mascara, any of that shit. no thank you. YOU LOOK LIKE A HOOKER.

maybe the TINIEST bit of makeup to show that she is making an effort for you, her man, not to seduce a room full of rich men. of course she doesnt need to make an effort in the looks department, but showing the WILLINGNESS to DO SOMETHING for you shows loyalty and luv and good faith. the more you know. rather than someone who ignores you, avoids you, and takes you for granted. doesnt really luv you. wants to be done with you but is too craven to tell you in ANY way.

hire a damn Process Server hahahahahaha.  YOU GOT SERVED.

no i didnt hahahahaha. i would have preferred getting SERVED.

aaaaannnnnd bitcoin continues to go up. OH WELL. I DONT HAVE ANY MORE TO SELL.

I resent women because (and this is certainly not the ONLY reason) is because I would be SUCH a GOOD woman. I could be a better woman than most women. Men know what Men want. Men know how to be a better woman. Women have no idea what women want, or how to be a better man, so their opinions are stupid and worthless. men’s opinions are wise, meaningful, correct, and important. Men speak the truth, women speak bullshit.

but this is the way its ALWAYS been! dont hate a cat for being a cat! dont hate a dog for being a dog!

yeah but dogs and cats arent supposed to mate together!

but im just saying its always been CONCEALED and COVERT with women, they NEVER knew what REALLY goes on inside their body or minds, so why expect them to be “honest” about it? they can’t possibly BE honest!

i guess I just value HONESTY that much. and men DO.

i guess i’m just mad that men value honesty so much and women are naturally dishonest, incapable of honesty. if i didnt care about honesty so much, i wouldnt care about women being deceptive.

heh. well, what do women hate about men? they hate weak, needy, clingy men. and there are plenty of weak, clingy, needy men out there. i’ve been one myself.

i dunno. i just feel being weak, clingy, and needy is not as morally wrong as being DISHONEST. a cheater, scammer, liar, abandoner.

because im using mens morality not womens morality hahahahaha. for a MAN, YES it is pretty bad to be weak. or dishonest. for a WOMAN, for a MAN to be weak is the worst thing ever, and for a woman to be dishonest doesnt really matter. women get to get away with being CHILDREN.

i guess i also resent that too: men have to be RESPONSIBLE, women DONT. COME ON.

if i have to be responsible, i want muh women to be responsible too.

i struggle bigly with being responsible, but i know being responsible is the right thing to do.

whitesville west virgina, think i will move there hahahahahaha.

there were yellow flags and red flags with that woman, for example some silly stuff she believed…..but EVERY woman believes some silly stuff and has some yellow flags in that way. just be grateful she hasnt been with 60000 guys red flag. besides you can probably mold her towards less silly beliefs and make her a white warrioress bearing you many little white warriors. what could be better. and then when that woman leaves you like a ghost, you are devastated for at LEAST 2 years. it all makes sense.

hey. i KNOW i was important to her for a WHILE. like she genuinely liked me as a person, liked seeing me, liked spending time with me, i could TELL she wasnt FAKING it. so i guess i just wanted her to SHOW ANY of that at the end. like i’m sorry, i know this HURTS, sorry, i dont mean to throw you away like a piece of garbage because thats NOW how I think of you. you really DID mean something important to me, i just couldnt Do Those Feelings.

that’s all i was looking for hahaha. dont be SO goddamn destructive. try to apply a little soothing balm as you rain down fire and napalm and nukes. make any effort to at least do that.

dont let a woman name your children, they end up picking a STUPIDASS name like brooklyn or something. no. brooklyn is the name of a city, not a person. be a man and name your child something traditional and good like michael or mary or anne or elizabeth or john or james or richard or donald or adolf hahahahahaha. it’s not complicated. it’s not difficult.

how can you give birth to children but not know how to name them hahahaha. how can you give birth to children but also murder them and be horrible at raising them? why can’t men just get pregnant. they would probably do it better than women. we dont need women at all. women are a net loss hahahaha. just use women as brood mares, locked away from productive male society.  they grow children, give birth, and absolultely nothing else.

so what do you do with girls. you cant ABORT them because ABORTION IS MURDER.

yeah but women just arent WORTH as much as men hahahaha. they are LITERALLY inferior. their lives don’t MATTER as much hahahahahahaha.

no i am jk of course. but you see the slippery slope.

but really i mean come on. these women. they gotta start adding value. not just coasting on this being the bearers of children bullshit hahahahaha. actually be a worthwhile PERSON hahahaha.

JEALOUSY IS NATURAL AND NORMAL. Women will never understand this. they think jealousy is always bad and means they should dump you and that youre abusive and a horrible person and you should work to get rid of all jealous.

NO. JEALOUSY is a GOOD thing, because it WARNS you of BAD things: that the mother of your children is CHEATING on you.

Now, some people might be Overly Paranoid, and that’s not good, but if your GF is spending lots of time with her Male Friends, then YES you SHOULD get jealous! instead the women bitch about their jealous bf and then end up dumping him and getting with their male friends. because their ex bf had no good reason to be jealous then hahahahahaha.

i want terribly to sm0ke mj, but i dont want to be around st0ners, hang out with these degen idiots. i just want a big bag of mj all to myself, so that i can get blazed alone, in peace. no people around. that woman would have been the exception. i liked being around her, she didnt like being around me at the end. i was desperate to hang out with her and sm0ke mj with her, had a FANTASY of hanging out with her, smoking mj, cuddling, making out, her being nice and sweet to me, etc.

but i am also happy just sm0king weed by myself, other people make me nervous. just be by myself and listen to music or maybe exercise or something.

meh i dont care if emily youcis is a huge race traitor wh0re, she has done enough and put herself far enough out there that it pretty much cancels any past degeneracy. she has made real sacrifices and done real penance. she wouldnt do what she’s doing now if she wanted to go back to fooking blacks. she has woken up and changed. god for her.

i have no proof that she was fooking LOTS of blacks, but i assume that as an artsy, punk, drinking, MJ smoking, urban young gurl, singing in a punk band dressed like a hooker, foul mouth, yeah i mean i’m not NAIVE hahahahahaha.  she CLEARLY has a PAST.

but thru Becoming Who You Are, you can be Redeemed from any sin! its really kinda like accepting Christ as your personal saviour! but probably even better! with a lower Recidivism rate is what I’m saying. meaning lots of sluts will turn to Jeebus but still be gold digging, treacherous sluts at heart. maybe eventually destroy their beta cuck husband. but when a woman goes 1488 like this…..it would be really hard for her to turn back after that. i mean i guess sinead could, but she has no credibility anyway. a newcomer like emily youcis has more credibility that sinead, who has done nothing but attack good people. its very disappointing. she could have done a lot of good.

richard spencer is trying to hire one person for 12.5k a year hahahahaha. that’s about as much as Im making right now. and he wants this guy andrew joyce who probably is a good writer and has a graduate degree hahahahaha.

my point is, i simply couldnt just waltz in and get a 20k Alt Right Job, because there ARE no Alt Right Jobs! The one alt right job there is pays 12k a year and wants qualifications i dont have!

again, you would LITERALLY be a LOT better off taking calls in a tech support call center.  good god.

anyway i think it would be better if someone like emily said yeah i fooked negroes in the past, i am disgusted with this and would never do it again, rather than sinead avoiding talking about it, when she gets accused of being a mudshark all the time, and she probably was, but just wont address the issue. just say you did it, say you’re ashamed, say you understand your mistake, learned from it, and became a better person! we will forgive you! were not monsters!

not that theres been any mudslinging on emily. the alt right has been very gentlemanly to her and she hasnt done any sketchy shit either.

well she was just on the david duke show today, which is a good show, i just dont listen to it super often hahahaha. but he just had richard spencer on a few days ago, and he has andrew anglin on regularly. i have been down with david duke for YEARS. i dont like the plastic surgeries and the rumors of degeneracy, but the stuff he says is so solid, and I was glad he ran for senate, and is talking to the right people. keeps in touch with the young kids in the alt right. WN 2.0 hahahahaha.

i have listened to at least 20 episodes of his radio show hahaha and listened to at least 60% of the audiobook of “my awakening”, can heartily recommend. great book. great info on the JQ which I got in 2012 or 2013. Duke has been around for DECADES, before there WAS an alt right, and the best thing out there was mgtow. yikes. dark days. then you found stormfront and said, hmmm i think these guys are onto something, but theres gotta be a better way of doing this. this guy david duke is pretty solid, why arent there more people developing this line of thought? and now there ARE.

heh. i am an oldfag, back when i was getting into shit, MGTOW and MRA was the EDGIEST shit the internet had to offer. besides stormfront hahahaha. and i read a little bit of stormfront too.

but yeah boy am i glad the alt right happened, MGTOW was a damn dead end.

dec 29

so yeah. while I USED to identify as a MGTOW, i did have serious problems with it as I accepted my pretty natural desire to have a Wife and Children, to have a traditional monogamous white relship. pretty quickly i realized how jooish and unnatural it was for men and women to be at war with each other, to be enemies. this wasnt all womens fault. there was a more insidious force at work.

the family life was shitloads better than the mgtow single life. i couldnt believe how so many mgtows could not figure this out and were still either talking about how to bang sluts, or how to build robot women.

tarek and christina split. i bet it was her that is At Fault. To Blame. I never liked her hahahaha. i liked him a lot better even though he is half arab. plus he doesnt look or act semitic at all.  and their chidren were adorable. i bet she dumped him and he begged her to stay and make an effort to work it out baybeeeeee and now she is fooking new guys, probably WAYYYYY more nonwhite looking and acting than tarek.

right after he had that Cancer Scare! What a Horrible Bitch! but he seems too nice and she probably needs a man who can absolutely DOMINATE, if not abuse her. she would be more down for a more dominant arab man. tarek RESPECTS women too much. many women dont want to be RESPECTED hehehehe. then they go on reddit and tell women everything is abuse, loveisrespect.org. nope. you respect a woman, she will leave you for pedestalizing her. OR do something so horrible and disgusting to teach you a lesson about Pedestalizing. Take me off the pedestal! I’m gonna fook 10000000 negros right now!

going to buy new glasses. it is the biggest jooish ripoff since going to the dentist. going to the doctor hahahaha. go into these glasses places and they are full of Shark Women doing sleazy salesmen shit. absolutely disgusting. women shouldn’t be doing this. shit men shouldnt be doing this. no business should be run like an obvious jooish scam. capitalism doesn’t have to be so jooish and disgusting ahahahaha. purge the bergs and steins hahahaha.

americas best is the WORST. if it says 2 pairs of glasses for 70 bucks……..sheeeeeit. don’t tell me that 2 pairs of glasses for me is going to be 210 bucks. that is THREE TIMES MOAR. if someone comes in asking about the 2 for 70, do you really think they have a huge budget to buy the top shelf glasses and lenses? and us rubes don’t know that frames and lenses are two different things. 2 frames for 70 is bullshit when its like 140 for two sets of LENSES.

i would ask them, what are you looking to spend, 100 dollars, ok, well for that you can get this, for a teensy bit more you can get this, then you prob wont want to go much hgiher than that!

no frills, no add ons, no extras, no upselling, just bottom shelf, bargain basement, basic bitch everything.

2 pairs of glasses, out the door, with lenses, for 70 bucks. that is what i want. i don’t care about polycarbonate, or scratch protection (well, sorta i do), or antiglare coating, or transition lenses hehehehe. maybe if i had vision insurance, which only the top 1% do hahahahaha. or people like muh baby boomer family hehehe.

i thought getting a glasses shop job would be pretty chill, but after going to a few of these places, i can see that it would not be. on dec 29 the places were packed with people. maybe thats just normal for the holidays.

bitcoin falling finally.

GENTLY signalled interest in the MJ with the one person i can conceivably talk to about this. i thought he might have not registered the idea that next time he wants to go in, i’d like him to tell me so i can go in with him. he is generally good at reading signals but i still wasnt sure, besides, i am terrible at communicating stuff like this. and he is abstaining for the medium term for very legit reasons. but yeah yesterday i made it clear that when you decide to stop abstaining, please let me know ASAP. he clearly understood what I was saying. so that is good. Now I know not to be PUSHY.

in other words, ive done all i could there.

but yeah i was like damn how could i ever do what these women do. lie to people to sell them glasses. they deliberately make shit confusing and complicated to Upsell and Add On Shit, and have horribly misleading advertising. i hate this jooish shit and i hate that white women are stuck working in these jobs. i’d be like listen, you want the lowest price, i get it, well then you have to get this. i SHOULD HAVE studied the website for americas best before walking in there, just so i could tell them the things i DIDNT want.

well i ended up finding a pair for 70 dollars, including both frames AND lenses. that seemed reasonable to me. so just said ok ill take it. wanted to get out of there anyway. fookin glasses. the place was huge, had a ton of employees, and a ton of customers, and i thought, really, glasses? such big business? doesnt everybody have lasik or contacts?

i dont like honestly not terribly smart white women acting like jooish snake oil salesman. youre obviously tyring to confuse me with glasses jargon. dont do that. i should have taken 5 minutes to study glasses jargon before i left. but i shouldnt HAVE to in a nice huhwhyte country is what im saying. i guess i didnt realize the glasses industry was so thoroghly jood. i shouldnt be surprised though. health care, hospitals, doctors, dentists, medical, insurance, its all fooked and jooed. which is sad.

and when MJ is legal that will be jood too hahahaha.

tensions with israel at the moment. UN snubbing israel and obama/kerry saying yeah we snub israel too. trvmp saying just you wait bibi, just 3 more weeks and then me, your best buddy, me, will be in office, and you wont get this terrible treatment from the US. this was always gonna be the black pill about trvmp, was his super friendliness to israel, i guess we were just gonna not think about it until it was time to think about it. which is now nigh.

i mean i guess i support a state for joos as long as they get the damn joos out of the US. out of our media and culture and govt and business and education and everything. absolutely never gonna happen.

square pegs. mid 80s teen sitcom with teenage sarah jessica parker. she was a QT when she was young, fook this horse face nonsense! but it just never suits a woman to be a 40+ year old slut, so she brought that shame on herself!

i think she is jooish. doesnt stop 20 year old jooish gurls from being qt.

yeah i believe in REDEMPTION. and if i believe in redemption for myself, which i would LIKE to, then i have to believe in redemption for other people. namely, women, sluts, degenerates. if i can do it, they can do it. if they can do it, i can do it. and i like reading stories of actual redemption.

i dont think sinead is stupid. in fact i think she is attractive and its tech good she has a baby. she sometimes comes VERY CLOSE to making good points, and then totally crashes and burns, or attacks somebody great like millennial woes. so she is very frustrating and disappointing, because she has great potential. and of course she could be redeemed too. but my god she HATES the alt right. she views it as a totally gay compromised thing. calls it the alt k1k3.  i guess i should be happy that in 2016 there are qt white women who are ok on the JQ and not afraid to use the K word hahahaha. didnt have this even 4 years ago.

but yeah if kyle is her lover she should identify as his wife, and be like, im taken by my one man kyle, and he is the father of my baby. i luv him and will be loyal to him. and not have any ambivalence there.

so in short i dont trust her at all. i trust emily Y more than her.

wow what an insensitive cvnt. and she wants sympathy from reddit. i hope they crucify her hahaha. if she worked halg the day that her husbando worked, she’d be EXHAUSTED too. but now she wants to dump him because his job is exhausting him and she is annoyed by him being exhausted all the time. what a fooking bitch. he needs a woman who can have s ome damn sympathy for him.

basically with /relships, i upvote men and downvote women. and men who talk like women. women have nothing smart or good to say about relships. they have no idea how to have relships with men.

i think if i went into americas best and said listen. i see your sign for 2 for 69.95. that’s basically the type of value i want. I want the SHITTIES lenses AND the shittiest, cheapest frames, for less than 100 bucks TOTAL, out the DOOR. frames AND lenses, under 100 TOTAL. no deals, no add ons, no extras, no 2 pairs. no scratch protection, no anything protection, i am looking for the equivalent of no-fault shitty auto insurance. i would like to buy nicer glasses but i cant afford them.

reddit is gonna say there is nothing wrong with the sister being in JOOISH PORN and the man needs to GROW UP and GET OVER IT.

now i dont think you should be quick to pull the DEFOO trigger, and always be open to forgive and allow your family the chance to repent and redeem themselves…..but the sister is not moving in that direction at ALL, in fact, she is doubling down on the PORN. so the brother is RIGHT to be DEVASTATED and depressed about this. shit what if his WIFE decided this was an ok thing to do?

i was watching andy griffith and gomer pyle USMC and i was like, these quaint shows of a better time. that gomer pyle is a likable idiot. seeing that this stuff is STILL made by joos when you watch the crrrrrredits.

or this show “Square pegs”, which i had never heard of, but seemed pretty entertaining and well-written and funny. yep moar joos. which is not surprsing as this was the 80s. but joos in the 80s and esp the 60s didnt seem so god damn JOOISH as they do now. well except for that sneaky sneaky joo norman lear. i mean i used to watch all in the family regularly, and like the character archie bunker. i still kinda do!!!!

but yeah being JQ aware really helps you with shit like that. and reading between the lines to see this is more than just a good show. its more of a subversive and offensive show than you realize. you’re not SUPPOSED to……well i cant even say that youre not supposed to like archie. he’s the main damn character. i think you ARE supposed to like him, and realize YOU are just as horrible of a racist goy as he is, and then learn Lessons Of Tolerance just as Archie does. but archie truly says some hilarious shit. him and his wife edith are both great. and shitlib son in law meathead. total shitlib sjw leftist commie.

i WISH the show were written by alt right SHITLORDS rather than SJW Joos! honestly the alt right could bring the show back in this way, that’s a great idea. would be even kooler than a blatantly alt right king of the hill.

on the fatherland, muh boy no1 suggests that million dollar extreme/sam hyde is basically Entertainment/Comedy for Goys By Goys, comedy stripped of any horrible jooish influence. i mean i hope it is! we need our own CULTURE, stuff like music, movies, tv, stories. not just implicitly cool stuff like christopher nolan or something, but something that comes right out and says, this is who we are. we are not J’s. this work is 100% free from jooish influence. i would love that. cuz you can’t GET that in mainstream ANYTHING.

this is another benefit of black metal hahaha. it is very free of jooish influence. maybe thats why i like it so much hahahaha. was such a big boortzum fan for so long hahaha. really liking this saor/fuath hahahaha.

well because its impossible to make a tv show or movie without a bunch of Js getting involved. I like more solitary pursuits, more of a Auteur approach hahahaha. one man’s singular, unadulterated, unjood vision. much more practical to accomplish with music or books. and i dont like books hahahaha. well auteur movies are a good attempt too.

and certainly self made youtube vids. or 1488 podcasts hahaha.

havent really watched lots of MDE. dont know anythign about the other guys in MDE other than sam hyde. i guess there is an mde book now. i mean i respect and trust no1 so his recommendation is as good as any.

george feels responded to me and said thank you. so that was nice. have no idea if he is gonna fix the thing that i said he might want to fix hehehehe. well i did my part. i might give him another dnation next xmas hahahahaha.

when i get to the position he’s in….wait a minute i am actually OLDER than him hahahaha. AND he has a better job than me.  so when HE gets to the point I am in now, THEN he should start going to hookers and smokin MJ which is freely available in his damn town. just walk into the store just as easily as buying a bottle of booze. and he Gets To Do That too. I’m not even allowed to drink booze any more hahahahaha.

this is kinda sad. of course i would say take the “dream job.”

He has very low self-esteem and has mentioned several times that he may be depressed. Until recently, he would rant to me over text (hundreds of texts) about his insecurities, that he feels like trash, and that there’s a lot of expectations and societal pressures on him because he’s a man. Multiple times he’s told me he wanted to end his life. When I tried comforting him and dissuading him from it, it backfired and he lashed out against me, saying that there is no way I can empathize with people like him in the slightest. In subsequent meltdowns, I held back on comforting him out of not knowing what to say, and he said I lacked a moral compass and that women like me are biologically wired to hate men like him.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. well i know how this guy feelz, but the fact that she HASNT left him yet, CARES enough to ask reddit. but yeah. ive felt that exact feel. women HATE loser men more than men hate sluts. and they will throw you away like garbage. thing is, she hasn’t thrown HIM away like garbage, and i think if she DID dump him, she would make an effort to do it in a decent way.

yep you will be a virgin for the next 10 years, just be thankful you can even GET a job. also try not to get arrested for drugs or alcohol hahahaha

oh thats fine, nothing wrong with fooking 12 guys by the age of 18 hahahahaha.  sex is a conditional, relative, gray area thing. sometimes its serious, and sometimes its just casual fun!!!!!! yay!!!!!!!!

BE ASHAMED OF YOUR SLUT PAST. tell your bf yes im ashamed of what i did and who i was, and that shame is gonna keep me from doing that shit again. yes it is digusting i agree. instead when you tell him im not ashamed at all, whats wrong with that? uhhh yeah youre saying i have no shame about being a shameful slut hahahahaha.

because who knows when they are gonna get bored with sex with YOU and go easily find it with any of their 6000000000000000 male friends.

they SHOULD be ashamed of their slut past. that is the BEST way to make your new bf OK with your slut past. NOT say, no, i’m not ashamed of that gross degen disgusting shit I did!

you SHOULD be ashamed of disgusting things you did! not continue to unrepentantly insist these things ARENT disgusting! damn!

what ELSE is she not ashamed by but SHOULD be? cheating?

best to be with somebody who shares your sexual MORALITY – that sex is not some Fun Game to be played with any Sexy Boi. of course its hard finding a woman with that sexual morality! and if you do, they will not like you back and will reject you VERY HARSHLY hahahaha.

sheeeeeit you know what, she was EMOTIONALLY CHEATING on her original boifran. she wanted to fix things with him, but she was EMOTIONALLY CHEATING on him anyway. by becoming friends with ME. yeah i didnt realize this at the time, and not until recently, and its safe to say she NEVER realized it! because she was emotionally retarded!!!

 

BEING SENSITIVE IS ALWAYS A NET LOSS

dec 1 2016

had a dream last night about an old friend from my college days that of course we drifted apart, but he was a great guy and i hope he’s doing well. he was both one of the smartest guys i ever met, and also very principled and moral and a good moral person. he was also funny and hilarious and had great social charisma. he was also a very good musician. i had a total mancrush on him and was flattered that he seemed to like me. he had a very great personality and with that personality could probably get any woman he wanted, but physically he was kinda short. he was in great shape though, stayed very active with exercise. i guess he was pretty good at basketball too. well he certainly liked to play it a lot. he was pretty much responsible for introducing me to tom waits. he was fun to drink with and was no square there, but obviously he didnt drink so much that he couldnt be a winner at life. he was going for a phd in cultural marxist frankfurt skool bullshit and i was so impressed by the Brainy Intellectual stuff he read and wrote, that I was so stupid it made no sense to me, all this shit about reifying and rhizomes and deleuze and guattari and lacan and derrida and foucault and badiou and bordieua and baudrillard and adorno and barthes and mcluhan and zizek and all that ((((CRITICAL THEORY)))) stuff.

I had no idea that it was total jooish poison. I’m not sure that he did either!

So, with that perspective, it’s kinda troubling that such a good, solid guy would make his career in something so awful and poisonous. because when you’re young, that shit impresses you because it makes you sound really really really SMART. I actually knew a couple people like this. I had another friend in that same department who was similarly a very nice, charismatic, smart, principled, moral, solid man. they deserve better than this jooish bullshit.

anyway i hope they are both doing well. they are both great guys and I will never forget them. i just dont get the critical theory, cultural marxist, frankfurt school, jooish bullshit.

anyway back to the first guy. he could have had any woman he wanted despite his short stature because his personality was so great. BUT, interestingly, his fashion style was very scrubby, like a damn neet virgin. he could have cleaned up VERY well, but DIDNT. he had long greasy hair and a long wispy “beard”. he probably did not shower enough. this was not from a lack of confidence, but just because he was really that much of a “free spirit artist”, as well as a very smart articulate academic intellectual, as well as having pretty damn good social skills. not an awkward autiste whatsoever, but every bit as high iq as an autist. he just LOOKED like a homeless person hahahahaha. now I think after he finished his phd he started presenting himself better hahahaha. which is good, he was not ugly.

and because he had such a good, strong personality, he could get GFs and had been in several long term monog rels. I don’t think he ever did too much degenerate shit with women. never a “player”, never a womanizer, never open rels, and oh good lord I forgot he was CATHOLIC too!

anyway in the dream he’s like, we gotta watch this movie, it’s great. and I was like great, I like your taste, if you say its good, im sure its good. i mean he did/does have good taste in movies and music and books.

so we started watching this movie that was some 1970s french or italian “art” degeneracy like godard or pasolini. Which I NEVER really liked that kind of artsy fartsy movie, and now I like them even less. because of the jooish degeneracy embodied in them. the opening scene had a bunch of big women with big breasts but also huge erect dicks dancing around like the wild androgynous men/women of borneo. the scene went on for way too long. then the movie went on to tell this artsy, intellectual, elaborate story of how Whites were the Cancer of the Human Race, Whites were evil, whites are all oppressive, horrible natsees, and telling this story in a very artsy, college bourgeois phd sort of way, that you could feel real artsy and intellectually superior.

so my friend asks me what i think and im like oh great, this great guy I admire really likes this antiwhite bullshit, and he’s a brilliant guy, way smarter than me, theres no way i could convince him that whites are great, i mean i cant believe such a smart good awesome guy BELIEVES this bullshit! this could really complicate our Frandship!

And I was like well i dunno, i usually like your taste but I never liked this weird new wave godard pasolini shit, I mean its just too much for me, i mean come on, giant dicks, its just too much for me.

i did not mention the whole antiwhite message. that would be a lot harder to talk about with him.

anyway that was the dream hahahaha.

i never did talk to him about whiteness. but he was a great white man. and he did finish the phd i THINK. im sure he’s still a great guy, i just hope he doesnt spend too much of his career talking about how bad whiteness is.  and white = evil. he got along with nonwhites very well, which i think his family had some nonwhite foster children in their home. now for weev that helped weev become race conscious because the nonwhite children sucked. my friend, i guess his nonwhite foster “siblings” werent so bad. well good for him then hahaha.

i dont want to dox the guy hahaha.

but yeah what would HE say about the alt right, or whiteness? would he be a terrible shitlib saying that anyone who uses the term “cultural marxism” is a crazy, white, racist conspiracy theorist. cultural marxism is not a real thing.

i never read any of his papers. well i think i read a few pages at the time, and it made no sense. i dont remember anything about whiteness. maybe some stuff about signifiers and reification.

so i could easily look up his papers NOW and read them and probably get a sense of what he thinks about whiteness, right?

yeah probably! and im not sure i WANT to !

it was also funny we never really talked about his skoolwork that much, he never talked about it, and he also didnt seem to spend much time on it. he seemed to have PLENTY of free time to hang out, watch movies, go out, be social. i thought phd students were supposed to be chained to their books and work 80+ hours a week!!!!!! but not him!

so was he a bad student? maybe, but its kinda hard to be a “bad student” and get into a All Expenses Paid PhD program at a Very Good Skool. i mean thats how smart he was.

shit i would have liked to hear him teach a class, or do a phd defense especially. i know eventually he started teaching undergrads like most grad students did.

anyway he was/is a great guy, i wish him the best, but i also want him to have white children! he would be a great father of course.  there is a risk that he might marry a nonwhite woman though. although when i knew him, all his GFs were white women.

ok heres whats interesting. some white people go into an Urban Public School full of poor blacks and they become redpilled on race, like yep once i saw the real world, i knew that blacks and whites are very different.

and other whites say i became even MORE committed to education because i saw how precious these poor black children were, they were every bit as smart as anybody else, they just need better resources, opportunities, education, etc, so ive spent my life really trying to help these kids who really really NEED that help.

so which is the truth about race hahahaha.

i have no doubt there are many smart ghetto black kids out there that would benefit from a good education. plenty of little dr ben carsons out there.  but honestly i have no desire, and im honestly not TOUGH ENOUGH, to want to work in a black school to help those kids. i would rather teach white kids. really i dont want to teach kids at all hahahahaha. beyond being a homeschool teacher of my own children, and even there i dont trust my abilities!

but yeah when i was hanging out with somebody i thought was really really cool like that, i sometimes felt insecure and inferior, like im nowhere NEAR that cool, why are they hanging out with ME? once they find out how uncool i am, theyll get bored with me and dump me.

i guess i felt a similar way about women that i liked! that i was “privileged” enough to hang out with a few times!

classic inferiority complex. im not cool enough to be friends with this person. im not cool enough to date this grill.

and the women eventually “proved” it by dumping me, although the men i had mancrushes on, well they were pretty much “faithful” to me though! like i say, they were good solid moral men through and through, and never did me wrong! we just drifted apart due to time and distance.

hehehehe kinda wish i had met him when i was in high school hahaha. not to crap on my high school friends tho hahaha. but i might have had a chance at getting his Sloppy Seconds hahahaha. that was how much of an omega i was, i couldnt even get Sloppy Seconds because my friends couldnt get sloppy seconds either hahahaha.

well i prob could have gotten sloppy seconds from one of my friends who was ok with the ladies, qt ones too……but i was so proud i didnt WANT sloppy seconds from muh friends! or i just thought it was weird and gross. it IS pretty weird and gross!!!!!!!!! plus I wanted a GF, not casual hookup secs. i didnt like SLUTS back then either! i wanted a NICE GURL! i.e., not a slut.

so yeah, i pretty much ALWAYS disliked sluts. very consistent there.

ok thats enough memory lane bullshit. i just wish i were doing more in the present that would make good memories later. but all i got is the failure of the last 3 years, the painful memory of That Woman, etc. nothing really GOOD that i will happily remember. well maybe the good times i had with that woman. but i dont WANT to remember those! i want to have BETTER memories with a BETTER woman!

see i use overthinking as a way to cope with stress and worry. IF I THINK ABOUT THIS ENOUGH, I WILL FIGURE OUT AN ANSWER AND FIX THE PROBLEM. but it never works like that. i never find the answer. i never fix the shit. i just think and think and think and worry and ruminate and overanalyze and write and write and write and write. i order for things to improve, i need to get out and actually DO shit.

the best punishment for sluts is for their fathers to shake their heads and say i am very very very disappointed in you, and you will have to work to regain my approval.

but this assumes sluts HAVE fathers who can BE disappointed in them.

so without that….i think i determined shaving the sluts head bald would be a good punishment.

how about tattoo on their forearm saying “SLUT”? pretty good, but that would be guaranteeing they would never STOP being a slut.

how about a tattoo somewhere nonvisible then?

like i said…..I NEVER liked sluts.

I WILL give a slut a chance, if she’s really willing to repent and reform. of course how do you trust that? i guess look at her repentance. the first slut i was with was a very secs-positive bourgeois jooess, so of course she wasnt ashamed of being a cvm dumpster, she thought it was liberating and empowering.

hehehe there are two kinds of people in the world, racists and nonracists, and never the twain shall meet. i think if all the racists segregated away from the nonracists the world would be a better place. and then of course in the racist side, each race would then segregate.

whites are racist! racism is the worst evil! whites are evil!

once you realize this is what they are really saying, you cant unhear it hahahaha.

there is literally NO BENEFIT to being sensitive. it is WEAK. FRAGILE. NON TOUGH. being TOUGH is ALWAYS good. weak people break down and cant get shit done. and they are miserable because everybody rejects them because they are weak and sensitive. hahaha.

oh but they see the world in a unique way and create great art!

  1. at least half of them DONT, i never created great art
  2. well thats not entirely true, I wrote 2 and a half pretty good songs. long epic songs too haha. and a bunch of decent bukowski ripoff poems. and at least 3 book length blogs. 1 sweet doom level.
  3. art is not that important. its a nice luxury but its not very useful at all. it is not a vital role in society. its nice to have, and its really fun to listen to music from ages 11 to 25 or so, but after that, theres more important things to do, like run society, have children, and music and art does not help with that at all. yeah it adds to a sense of culture but you know what else does? children. government and society and civilization. people inventing shit and building civilizations and employing people and doing work. this takes TOUGH, STRONG people, not SENSITIVE, WEAK people.

plus there is plenty of good art made by Tough, Strong people!

oh but sensitive people Love more deeply.

but this is WORTHLESS unless they find another sensitive person who can APPRECIATE that AND luv them the same way back! Sensitive Luv is just Wasted on Tough, Nonsensitive Normies! they will DUMP you for being too WEAK and NEEDY!!!

and how many sensitives are there? it CANT be more than 25%.

so yeah, ITS NOT WORF IT to be sensitive and weak hahahaha. i wanna trade it in to be tough. so i can LUV people more intensely! that is TOTALLY not worth it! I don’t WANT to luv people so intensely! theres something WRONG with me!

all this sensitivity has made it excruciatingly difficult to live a normie adult life with 26k job and 6.51/10 waifu!

i should see if muh new 13k a year job can send me on a business trip to colorado. or NV, CA, OR, WA, or MA hahahahahahahahahahahaha. every week.

i mean shit theres an idea. why not do job searching in colorado?

because I dont really want to MOVE to colorado, i want to stay near muh family! they are the only family i have! i wouldnt mind visiting colorado for a week or 2 and being ridiculous blazed that whole time, but i dont really want to MOVE ANYWHERE!

and some people are not like this. they dont mind moving anywhere in the world. shit i kinda wish i were more like that. because that is a TOUGHER person. who will leave their family behind to go where the jobs are.

you know you like somebody when you make a MIX tape/cd/stream for them. did anyone ever do that for ME?

well sort of. there were some manly no homo mixes in there where i exchanged Metal Mixes with another Metal Fan who worked at the Music Shop where I took some Guitar Lessons hahahaha. good guy but he was more into death metal, like Early Technical Death Metal with especial liking to Technical Death Metal Bass. I wonder if he was happy about all the new technical death metal that has come out. i cant even. like maybe necrophagist and stuff like that hahaha. i dont know. not my cup of tea.  we both liked bands like nile and cynic and early cryptopsy. naturally he really liked death. i liked their “sound of perseverance” album but never got much further. (although now i am kinda interested in their old stuff, hehehehe.)

well ultimately ive always been more of a black metal guy than a death metal guy, and he could not help me there.

oh shit i wonder what he would say about deathspell omega. that is probably the most technical band i like. and they really are TOO damn technical hahahahaha.  cool it with the nonsense riffs guy. i thought you were black metal hehehehe. technical black metal. i am probably more open to that that technical death metal.

could demilich be called technical death metal? i know they have very cult following.

again, i like stuff thats more Atmospheric and Emotional and Sensitive.

but its funny. i stopped paying attention to metal for like 5 years and those were THE most important years TO pay attention because SO much shit happened. when i came back to metal, it was like a whole new world. 10 generations of evolution had happened and suddenly i was an old man who didnt understand the youth. all within 5 years.

i was out of it from like 2002 or 3 until 2008 or 9?

uhhhhhh yeah between 2002 and 2009 a LOT of shit DID happen in metal hahahaha.

it would have been nice to have been paying attention when the deathspell album “Si Monumentum” came out in like….2004?

well i DO remember when paracletus came out in 2010.

i DO remember when varg got out of prison and came back with “belus” in like 2010.

i remember when the alcest album “ecailles de lune” came out and invented “blackgaze” hahahaha.

so yeah i didnt miss it all.

anyway metal. i dont even like talking about metal with metal fans, because they like different metal bands than me and will try to push some metal bands on me, when im not looking for new metal super actively. there needs to be a come to jesus moment and then ONE BAND will reveal itself to me at the right time, like saor right now.

i am very ok with that, im just grateful to be able to enjoy fresh music at all anymore!

did i mess up muh brain with too much alcohol and MJ when i was young?

YES, PROBABLY!!!!!

i used to be smart in high school! i was great at high school! i peaked in high school, hahahaha.

then 15 years later, you have to tell people, i was smart in high school! I SWEAR!!!!!! I WAS SMART ONCE!!!!! and then these young smartasses roll their eyes. yeah right, old dumb man. then why are you working here at your age. obviously didnt make good decisions with your life.

yikes i get to writing and then it INEVITABLY BECOMES super negative and despairing and horribly derpressing!!!! SO STOP WRITING!!!!!!

just as surely inevitable as the sp1c n1g cycle will guarantee that sp1cs and n1gs will inevitably stuff themselves with fried meat until they become crippled by morbid obesity and require heroic medical care until they gracelessly expire, hahahahahahahaha.

so yeah. theres no benefit to being sensitive, weak, and fragile. these are BAD THINGS!

the TOUGHER you are, the easier time you will have in life, the better you will do in life, the less suffering you will suffer through. the more self respect you will have from being able to achieve a minimum of normieness.

psilocybin decreasing depression and anxiety? ok i’ll buy that hahaha. i would have to take a TINY dose though. i took psilocybin exactly twice in muh life. when i was 20 years old. ykes. the first time was ok. the second time was HORRIBLE and i felt horribly alone and alienated and heartbroken and despairing.  realy more sorrow and emptiness than anxiety. which i guess is actually BETTER than anxiety. that feeling of panic is just horrible. but thats the last time i will ever do mushrooms around a woman i am in luv with who doesnt like me hahaha and would rather be Romantic with other guys in front of me hahahaha.

maybe that is why i am so sensitive to rejection. cuz i did mushrooms WHILE a woman was essentially rejecting me, so it imprinted somehow. really the only way to “fix” that is to do mushrooms while i am with a woman and she is Totally Accepting me. being with me, having tender monog relship secs, cuddling, etc.

i would also do it alone.

i would also be open to doing super duper tiny doses like they did in this medical experiment. though when you “TRIP” they always say dont take too LITTLE, you gotta take enough to actually feel something maannnn.

so i say just take a teensy weensy bit. like taking one puff of MJ. you ever take one puff of MJ and feel it? then you might be a sensitive snowflake like me hahahaha.

so yeah i would be open to that. take such a tiny dose that you could get up in the morning and go to WORK the next day like you can with MJ hahahaha.

HA! this “straight dope” message board looks pretty good

http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=812509

can you be mistaken about your own romantic luv for a person

http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=812505

tell me your job search techniques

http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=812025

how many females are open to the idea of a scat fetish in a relship hahahahahaha

great quote from that one:::  ”

11-27-2016, 01:42 PM
astro astro is offline
Guest
Join Date: Jul 1999

OK maybe there is a beautiful, kind, loving woman out there who will shit on a plate so you can eat her feces and relish the intimacy this creates for you. You gaze into her gorgeous, endless eyes as you take your fork and carefully nip off some of the warm, fragrant brown turd she has produced for you. You inspect it lovingly and notice how it was formed in convergent layers by her bowel and the little bits and pieces of undigested food woven throughout. No pinworms or other creatures are waving back at you, so reverently you lift the morsel to your nose inhaling deeply and flaring your nostrils to get the full impact. The pungent aroma is overpowering so close and up you are in heaven.

You pass the aromatic brown chunk between your lips and explore it with your tongue rolling it around it your mouth. Firm yet soft you feel it dissolving in your mouth before you gulp it down. You want more and dig in! Seeing you smacking and chewing so lustily with a filmy smear of poo, her poo, coating your lips she gazes beatifically at you and the connection is so real you feel transcendent.

Hope you find your gal.       ”

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

hehehehehe nice

well you need to take a few years and get some therapy and fix yourself before you can ever be cured of your virginity, and also you have such deep issues, you will never get a gf, just maybe some casual sexs with crazy sluts, after you do like 5 years of therapy.

 

dump him because his lack of success in his career indicates immaturity and abusiveness and issues and insecurity and that he’s in a bad place and is incapable of being in a relship because he’s not happy with his career and never will be until he gets his masterz degree and gets a sweet office job that he finds SO FUN AND FULFILLING just like you

from this thread:    ”         [–]Cheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeez 2 points 48 minutes ago
Here’s what people usually want when they say they want closure: they want to have the last word in all the major arguments they had with their ex, and they want their ex to listen and say “you’re right, I was wrong,” and mean it. But this is a fantasy. As I’m sure you realize, the conversation wouldn’t go anything like that in real life.       ”

hehehehe nice way of putting that. closure is bullshit. a myth. there is never any closure. you always want the other person back, until you havent seen them in 4 years and then you dont really want them any more. then you see then and you want them again and need a few months just to get over seeing them once hahahahaha.

took a tiny benedryl tablet instead of taking nyquil tonight. felt like one or the other.

i never liked the the write shit but dont send it approach.  i say send that shit. hold them accountable!! they dont get to do EVERYTHING on THEIR terms! They SHOULD see that their actions have consequences on other people!!

damn man that sucks. wanting her back after years because you know the shit is fixable. yeah but maybe she wouldnt want to fix it and would just dump you when you tried to fix it. being WILLING to fix it is just as important as being ABLE to fix it.

oh well just dump the toxic mentally ill abuser and find a better man, people are so upgradable like that.

NOT EVERY WOMAN WILL TREAT YOU LIKE YOU ARE REPLACEABLE, UPGRADABLE, OR DISPOSABLE!!!!!

even if they might like casual sex with a revolving door of replaceable, disposable dicks hahahaha.

dec 2

http://goaskalice.columbia.edu/answered-questions/i-dont-want-relationship-okay-0

if you dont want a relship mmkay, then you shouldnt have SECS. SECS shoudl ONLY occur WITHIN a relship. a mongo (hehehe) longterm relship. if you dont want a relship then you should also enter a period of Voluntary Celibacy until you ARE ready and willing to be in a relship. and THEN you can have your damn FUN SECS again hahaha.

fookin sociopath. so focused on their damn career that they dont see the benefit of a serious rel.

ok i am looking fwd to getting haircut today, very soon, and just wanted to record this damn stupid dream i had last night

YES it had THAT WOMAN and in a big way. I recall i was hanging out with her and laying my head on her beautiful soft white stomach and just rambling on about bullshit like music or something, even though i was very very worried about the state of our relship, but was scared to talk about it, so i just talked about anything else. however i felt there was still hope because she was willing to hang out wiht me and let me lay my head on her bare stomach. which is kind of intimate IMHO. never did that in real life hahahaha. couldnt even hang out with her anymore hahaha.

then i left and continued being worried. then i guess she dumped me. i went back to talk to her and she started literally running away. and i began chasing her and she conitnued running. i was running too. i was screaming after her pathetic begging things: please just talk to me! please respond! please lets just talk about this! PLEASE DONT TREAT ME LIKE THIS! i recall saying that exactly.

then i was heartbroken. then i was talking with another female friend i had during college. i was never attracted to or in luv with her. we just got along ok and had mutual respect. she was very smart and very funny. on the downside she was very shitlib (so was everybody) and had issues with Secsual Morality. At heart she was a good person who was mashed into this jooish neurotic somewhat mess because of Kollige and the Middle Class Career World, which her family was firmly in, and unfortunately pressuring her with high expectations.  also she was supremely judgmental and liked to gossip about drama. I am the SAME WAY, but these women were actually a little bit WORSE. they were still good people though. they just needed to cool it with the drama! also she was nonwhite, therefore Im not such a hateful racist that i want to throw all nonwhites in the oven hahahaha.

so in the dream i told her how devastated i was and she wasnt really being THAT comforting, saying, well, if she’s running away from you, she obviously doesnt want to talk to you! so stop trying to talk to her.

but i really really really WANT to talk to her!

well she OBVIOUSLY doesnt WANT to talk!

but thats SO UNFAIR! she doesnt get to throw me away like a piece of garbage without being held accountable for the consequences! you want to get out of this, you have to go through the discomfort of a damn uncomfortable conversation at least!

so i convinced the female friend to go and meet with That Woman and kind of act as my attorney/advocate because That Woman was not allowing me to meet and talk with her.

i was riding in a taxi with the woman friend. i was nervous as shit because this was my last chance to say what i wanted to say, and i had to say it through this other person. i was trying to use Wise Mind and articulate myself as clearly as possible as to what i wanted to say. I remember very clearly saying “I fully accept her decision. I’m not asking her to be with me. sure, in an ideal world i’d like her to be with me, but I fully accept that she’s decided to end the relationship. what i’m asking for is just….i dunno. more recognition of my broken heart. more recognition that our relationship was meaningful and valuable to her. we knew each other for 3 years and i THOUGHT i meant something to her, was valuable to her, made a difference in her life, and we shared what i thought was a great connection and some great memories. i never wanted to hurt her. and i never wanted her to HATE me. it seems like she hates me. what did she think i did? I want to know what she’s thinking and feeling about this, and to tell her what Im thinking and feeling about it. that’s why I just want to meet with her and talk to her, and its so frustrating she’s not willing to do that.”

basically not a big chance from real life here.

i also wanted to show my other female friend (WHOOPS, not supposed to refer to women as “females”, that is a TELLTALE SIGN that you are a huge redpill neet incel entitled niceguy omega virgin nevergf woman hater!!!!! who sees women as some weird alien species and not human beings!!!!) that i was in the right, that i wasnt some kind of creepy stalker controlling abuser manipulator who wanted something unreasonable.

the friend went in and i sat in the taxi very nervously.

after like an hour the friend came out and said that That Woman said she didn’t feel I really CARED ABOUT her as a real person, that I was just trying to MANIPULATE HER INTO SECS. (basically accusing me of being a Niceguytm.) that i had no regard for her feelings and wasnt willing to listen to her.

then i got angry and was like WRONG. thats TOTALLY WRONG. I care about her SO MUCH! I am DEVASTATED! i will be devastated for the next year! it wasnt all about secs! it was about LOVE and having a loving rel! i wanted a HELL OF A LOT MORE than just secs! this is about luv! hearts! relships! sharing lives together! and i care very much for her! i want the best for her! i want to be with her and help her build a happy life! and to share a happy life together! shes got this all WRONG! can i just go in there and talk to her myself! no? goddamn why cant she just let me talk to her???!!?!?! can you go back in there please and tell her what i just told you??

(it was kinda like my job where callers could not speak directly to the level 2’s who knew how to explain bad news, and had to go through ME, who didn’t really understand the shit!)

the friend advocate sighed, like yeah thats not gonna work, but i’ll go back in there one more time for you.

then she did. then she taxi drove away with me in it. we picked up some black thugs and dropped them off at a casino. i was like shit we gotta get back to where we were. i didnt know how to get there from where we now were. i asked the driver if he could go back to the house where we were before. he said sure. he was clearly very foreign and i thought he might be bullshitting, because it didnt look like we were getting any closer. i asked him where he was from and i think he said georgia. like the country of.

so that was about it. it was a very vivid, long, movielike dream. i think the benedryl put me into a deeper sleep and therefore a deeper dream. it was not great. pretty much illustrated what was going on in real life, except now i had an advocate who was willing to talk to her on my behalf, and she was able to confirm that That Woman had a very Wrong opinion on What I Had Done. in real life, i have no idea what she was thinking.

but really, her having the Wrong Idea did not make me any happier, in fact i was just more frustrated, and just wanted to send the advocate back in there to show that I was Right, and She Was Wrong!

see that reddit quote about closure about hahahaha.

so yeah. also the dream was sad because at the beginning i actually DID see her and had an intimate moment with her like i never had in real life. but the moment wasnt intimate for her AT ALL!

hhehehe. if it takes you longer than a year to get over…….then hell yeah it was true love!!!! fook yes you CARED ABOUT them!

so i hate the accusation that you just want SECS when really, you are in LUV with them and CARE about them and want the best for their LIFE!

but no its all about secs secs secs with these women. and not even sacred, holy, loving, babymaking, relationship secs, but they reduce everything down to negro casual sex. its the only thing they understand hahahaha. absolutely disgusting.

ACTIONS HAVE CONSEQUENCES. I guess i just wanted her to experience some consequences and not be able to avoid them so completely. i sure experienced some damn consequences.

that doesnt mean that i want to inflict pain or punishment on her! more like, i just want her to feel some REMORSE and to reflect on this and learn how to not do this again in the future!

and probably she will learn from it, and treat other guys better, and i will never know, and never experience the Better Kinder More Mature Her!

she was already very kind, i experienced a lot of her general kindness, so i know she was capable of it. it was just a matter of Choking in a High Pressure moment. like i never did that before! like on the job or something.

yeah but with a Relship, I would have at least written an email hahahaha. that doesnt require a lot of effort or courage.

well it DOES involve courage when you actually SEND it. maybe she DID write an email but wasnt courageous enough to click send!

so yeah i did not enjoy that dream hahahaha.

looking at days since spreadsheet because i put haircuts on there….

507 days since i last talked to her… (16.9 months)

473 days since i last emailed/contacted her   (15.77 months)

81 days since last haircut, yeah its time hahaha

389 days since intentionally looking at/using jooish filth pornography

later

got haircut at mens haircut place, good prices

rambled on to older white slavic woman about what i wanted. hard to articulate. finally got to the following clear actionable instructions:

“2 ON TOP, 1 ON THE SIDES”

and hopefully she understood that. i should write that on a flashcard which i bring next time in roughly 10 weeks hahahaha.

i usually get 1 or 2 all around. never this fading or two diff lengths. breaking out of comfort zone. it looks all right. somewhat militaristic and fashy. not bad.

2 ON THE TOP, 1 ON THE SIDES.

just tell them that. short. direct. unfookupable hahaha. these are the kind of instructions i like to receive for muh job. not some vague bullshit that can be interpreted 10 different ways, then you have to go back and ask 10 clarifying questions, and they sigh and eye roll and think youre an idiot even though they gave you these stupid vague instructions that they probably didnt even read or realize how vague they were.

so i should assertively say: i dont like vague instructions. i like clear, concise, unambigious instructions. 2 on the top, 1 on the sides. im not going to waste your time with stupid questions, so dont waste my time with stupid instructions that require stupid questions for clarification.

fooking fookbitch.

so yeah that dream sucked. its faggy as fook to lay your head on a gurls stomach but i like the idea of it.

i dont get it. secs is so cheap for them, they think you want cheap sex, when you want expensive luv, and then they get mad at you (well, NOT you, but niceguys, which we are NOT) when you want something that they consider cheap, which you dont even really want. cuz Cheap Sex is all they understand. when all you have is a hammer, everything looks like a nail hahahahaha.

yeah being a niceguy is bad and shameful but i STILL think women overreact to it. but im still not saying i was a niceguy hahahaha. cuz its bad and i really dont want to be that. but they overreact. they think you are a HORRIBLE person, when you are really just a WEAK, COWARDLY person.

kind of like her. I dont think she is a HORRIBLE person, i think she is generally a good, maybe even GREAT person, she just had a moment of cowardice.

how come women cant give us the same BENEFIT OF THE DOUBT?

yeah well not all women, not all women, not all women hahaha. not even most women would not give you the benefit of the doubt.

but yeah i sure would have liked to cuddle with her and touch her white stomach hahahahaha. so it sucks to DREAM about that 16 months later.

like the guy in that reddit. he went on dates with 30+ women and still couldnt stop comparing them to the woman who dumped him, who he couldnt get over, years later. the only thing thats gonna fix this for him is to find a woman who is BETTER. who can make him feel luv again.

that story resonated with me because hes in his 30s and wants to have children and a wife, and he wanted that woman to be his wife, and have children with her, and he can’t see having children with anyone else yet. yep when you get older and want a wife and children, the stakes are even higher than when you are 20 and just fooking like a horny n199er. and not all of us wanted to be degenerates like that!

basically i view women as degen n199ers who cant keep it in their pants, and me as a principled man who is more moral and principled and white and better and seeks a higher morality and understands deeper truths. which isnt entirely wrong, as i believe my principled view of sex is the Better one. and i want a woman who shares that Core Value. hard to find a woman who doesnt treat secs like a horny n1993r tho!

ff12 has good music too, another great game, i never thought this game was underrated hahahaha.

so basically i view women as these alien monsters, who i have a yearning desire and obsession over, who throw cheap sex at everyone but me, who finds sex very very expensive, so i have a combination of deep resentment and deep desire for women. well, young (25 year old, marriage age, fertile) women! I want them so badly, I can’t have them, and they don’t want me.

these are the Big Kahuna of Cognitive Distortions that i need to address.

that and they undervalue something I value so highly, so i imagine them as sinful devils blaspheming my holy morality. like they are literally The Devil. The Enemy of Man. the Adversary. the living embodiment of Sin and Distancing yourself from Truth, Beauty, and Goodness. Women Are EVIL.

when really they are just Complicated PEOPLE, just like you and me hahahahahahaha.

so reddit says read books and watch tv and movies made by women, so you can view women as real people. go read margaret atwood or watch orange is the new black.

yeah but these are all feminists who have to slip in some man hating marxism. so whenever i read a woman doing that…..i dont understand or like women any better, i just dislike them more hahahaha. like you dirty fooking communist traitors.

so the best would be to read like books by a woman i like, like ann coulter hahahahaha.

maybe i should read the new megyn kelly book which she is promoting like crazy and which people are apparently buying like crazy too hahahha.

some feminist on reddit said “men worry that women will laugh at and reject them. women worry that men will raep and K them.”

yeah ok there is a kernel of truth there. but that doesnt mean women should be degenerate slutty n1993rs.

i like this trvmp “thank you” victory tour. he has been very busy since the election and hasnt had a rally in WEEKS, when he used to have a rally every day and give huge rousing speeches every day. it was weird to see him out of the spotlight. basically what he’s been doing is “hiding out” in trvmp tower talking to people and making big decisions of who he wants on his team. whcih is great, but i want him to come out in front of the cameras and 100000000 cheering people and call the media a bunch of disgusting animals and build the wall and drain the swamp and MAGA and make good deals. hopefully he does Rallies when he is prez.

so yeah if you worry men will r and kill you, dont put yourself in situations where you are basically putting yourself out there on a platter for those men, basically saying R me and K me!!!!!!!!!!

doesnt mean any woman DESERVES to be R’d and K’d, it’s just DONT BE STUPID. dont be the kid who jumps into harambe’s paddock. dont put your head in a lions mouth. dont point a loaded gun at your face. dont tease men when you don’t know that man, you dont know that he’s not a dangerous man.

you come SO CLOSE to really knowing a woman as A Human Being, and then she does a total 180 and throws you out of her life in a way that you cant even image doing to another human being.

not all women Would Do That, not even most women Would Do That.

if you’re not sure the best way to dump someone, just pay a Social Worker $50 to do it for you. don’t go out to lunch or dinner for a while. use secs to coerce your FWB’s into paying for your Birth Control, or to just give you the $50 for the shrink. suck off your Boss for $50. cuddle with some omega orbiter for a $50 fee. you know how EASY it is for you to get $50????!!?!?!?!?!

just hold off buying stupid clothes and shoes and purses for a week. small price to pay for saving somebody Thousands of Hours of Suffering.

you and i should probably listen to this song 3 times every day. quite possibly the single most POWERFUL song ever written.

music by dougie maclean who is not the composer of the film score, who is trevor jones, who took the dougie maclean song and integrated it into the score.

heh i think uncle bern should get a wife but i have bought his book as a way of supporting him. i wish i could have bought it from him directly. he is a good, principled man who i have admired for years. apparently he tells some personal anecdotes about his relships with women in this one, so thats worth the price of admission for me.

it was either that or donate to his paypal or patreon. which i still might do.

https://disenchantedscholar.wordpress [dot] com/2016/03/01/the-real-millennial-woes-student-debt-homeless-priced-out-of-parenthood-and-no-pension/

(doesnt have anything to do with the guy MW, a good article and blog nonetheless)

heh. so i took the plunge and joined patreon so i can pledge 1.67$ to millennial woes per month ($20 per year hehe)

and $1 to uncle bern per month. in the past i would have given him moar. i will give him more if he becomes a huhwhyte nationalist or has children hahahahaha. but he does deserve to quit his damn soul crushing school job and become a Content Creator Fulltime.

2 years ago i emailed him and asked him if i could donate to him. he said no thank you i really dont want to do that. i said hey im happy to donate but you do what you want. well hes changed his mind in the past 2 years and i can’t blame him. he produces great stuff and deserves to quit his damn stupid job. and we SHOULD pay him for sacrificing his personal time to make great videos and podcasts. its not a donation, its paying for a valuable service hehehehe. he’s given me hours of education and enjoyment so why SHOULDNT i give him some money. he apparently has begun to understand that concept.  maybe when he quits his job he will reveal that he knows all about the JQ.

i also see it as whites helping whites hahahahah. i wouldnt donate to a nonwhite.

anyway that disgruntled scholar or whatever i linked above points out a very important point that was interestingly enough quoted from a jooish guardian article: that 27 year old millennials in 2016 are bitter and butthurt because they think about their boomer parents when THEY were 27 and how they already had a HOME and CHILDREN. it is very sad to get old enough that you WANT children, and then realize you CANT AFFORD THEM. and that you cant afford to own a home that isnt in a violent nonwhite crime ghetto. and you might not even be able to afford that. buy a home in midtown oakland or gary hahahaha or newark. the ghettoest ghetto of new orleans.

why would you ever want children? then you cant enjoy life experiences and tinder hookups and travel. why would you want to own a home when you cant rent an apt with 10 roomates when youre 30? and those black ghettos are only violent because of a cycle of poverty adn institutional racism created by WHITE PEOPLE. you SHOULD live there so you can reap what you sow. SEE THE CONSEQUENCES OF YOUR ACTIONS, hahahahahaha.

i thought i was all about that hahaha.

cereal

hehehehe one of the best gifs i have seen in months. if you are in a bad mood watching this could probably still be guaranteed to make you laugh.

cereal-bowl-mouth

hahahahahahahahahahahahaha

cereal-bowl-mouth  cereal-bowl-mouth cereal-bowl-mouth

so classic. i bet that man has had 1,488,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 times more secs and cuddling and making out that i have hahahahahahaha.

ok i should have a smaller version of the moving gif too

cereal cereal cereal

bretty kewl amirite hahahahahahaha

cerealcerealcerealcerealcereal

now is there something actually pornographic about this, or do i think that just because my brain has been thoroughly pornified by jooz?

i wish i could see this, and really the whole world, and WOMEN, through the eyes of an innocent who had never seen the thousands of hours of PORN I have watched. it really warps your damn mind.

i mean i havent watched it seriously in a YEAR and i still feel the effects.

and how many guys have not watched porn in a YEAR. like less than 1% hahahahahaha.

well thats pessimistic. maybe 10% hahaha. NOT ALL MEN WATCH PORN!!!!!!!!

i think he must have some kind of plastic ring in his mouth to be able to hold it open in that weird shape.

oh those stupid WHITE frat boys. these white males are the stupidest jackasses on the planet.

wearing warm Kodiak Heat Socks from walmart, they are warmer than regular socks. but its not super cold out there. it Feels Like 28 degrees, ok thats kinda cold, but not man cold.

well people in fookin williston north dakota probably get their cold weather socks at walmart too hahahaha so i am as getting as good as they are. WALMART.

if you cant get it at walmart, it isnt worth buying hahahahaha.

 

THIS IS THE LIFE IVE CHOSEN

HOW is this the life I’ve chosen hahahahahaha.

oct 25

sheeeeeeeeeeeit.  interview this afternoon with banking company, easy back office super entry level high school job hahahaha.  but i cant get a sweet 35k Recent Graduates or Pathways job with FEDGOV, so as an Old Graduate, Im forced to settle for a 25k nongraduate job hahahahaha. THIS IS THE LIFE IVE CHOSEN. THIS IS THE HAND IVE BEEN DEALT. I CHOSE THIS hahahaha.

well thats contradictory: you dont CHOOSE the hand you get DEALT by the dealer. its all chance. fate.

yeah but i made a bunch of poor decisions and mistakes that led me to where i am today, so, indeed, THIS IS THE LIFE IVE CHOSEN.

I was in a C++ coding class with this guy who always used to say that. he was prob severely depressed, maybe 45 years old, working FT i think with mainframes, and i had no idea why he was in the class. he sounded like he had been working with code for years. i guess he didnt know c++, and he also wanted to chip away at his degree so he could get a better job. at age 50. even though he was already working like 60 hours a week in a tech job. he would chain smoke during the break in the 3 hour class and say THIS IS THE LIFE IVE CHOSEN and sigh despairing and demoralizingly.  hahahahahahaha. great guy.

maybe he was a virgin or a woman hater too! hahaha. or a Creepy, Abusive, Controlling, Clingy, Needy, Immature, Toxic, Narcissistic Bad Man.

the obvious response is: HOW IS THIS THE LIFE IVE CHOSEN??!?!?!?! I DIDNT CHOOSE THIS!!!! DID I?!?!?!?! I DONT REMEMBER CHOOSING THIS!!!! NOBODY ASKED ME! NOBODY TOLD ME!!! I DIDNT KNOW!!!!!

IGNORANCE OF THE LAW IS NO EXCUSE. THIS IS THE LIFE YOUVE CHOSEN.

you chose it without KNOWING you were choosing it, or what you were choosing. but you chose it nonetheless.

god damn. how the hell did i not apply for one of those recent grad pathways jobs with FEDGOV when i was a recent grad? because i was immature AF as well as a jooish marxist who believed fedgov was an evil behemoth oppressive nonwhites at home and abroad. how could i become a part of the bloated military industrial complex used to oppress and kill innocent nonwhite wimmin and children in iraq and syria and afghanistan.

like they were just GIVING AWAY 35k entry level jobs to 22 year old shitheads like me. i mean its prob competitive as shit. but i DID have Superior GPA from a Name School, so i think i did technically have a chance. now I got no chance because im not even ELIGIBLE. Im too old. i missed the boat. the fast track. now i am on the nowhere track.

they have more Recent Grad Pathways jobs than they do Basic Bitch GS 05 jobs!!!!!!!!!!!!

i coulda been a contender, i coulda started at gs07, but now id be happy AF to take 05! pleeeeease respond! please interview me! most of all please hire me!

this is how i kill 34 minutes before going to muh interview hehehe. i mean i got the big interview done yesterday. i already researched this company today, i researched them 2-3 weeks ago when i did the other interviews.

i could TECHNICALLY start a masterz degree program (BS online MBA) and then get into one of these pathways jobs hehehehehe.

i mean making alot of assumptions here. what if the pathways job is harder to get into than HARVARD or MIT. i just dont know.

“sort of ex/bf” wtf does that mean???? YOU DONT KNOW IF HES YOUR EX OR NOT???!!?!?!?!?!?!?!??!?!??!??!!

heh. at least i got that going for me. there is NO DOUBT that That Woman did not want to be with me. So now all I need to do is Forget About Her, and uhh learn the lessons and not make the same mistakes again. not be a COWARD again. be a MAN.

FIFTY DOLLARS to see MORRISSEY??? For 20 sure. for 30 maybe, a big maybe. i mean im not even a huge morrissey fan, i just respect what he’s done and i like the ridiculous lovesick grumpy image. i only know like 3 or 4 smiths songs and like 1 or 2 morrissey songs. 50$? rather spend it on MJ hahahahaha.

 

why dont you go to grad skool, you old white man. you get in what you put out. maybe if you CAREER FOCUSED like WOMEN you wouldnt be in this mess.

way to have a NEGATIVE, ENTITLED attitude that employers can SMELL a MILE away. go to THERAPY and fix your negative entitled attitude.

i was thinking about posting just to give him sympathy but then the post got locked. prob cuz it got very heated in there with people piling on this poor guy. IMHO, he is ENTITLED to have a negative attitude!

did i even talk about the interview? it was ok enough, i was nervous and rambling. i appreciated that they werent trying to RUSH me out of there in 45 minutes. it ended up being damn 90 minutes. i get the impression they give people all the time they need to Hire and Interview. i was a little exhausted at the end of it. the person was nice enough.

unfort there is also a damn second interview. i didnt expect a second interview for this damn 13 dollar an hour job. well i mean i didnt expect it to be a part of the process. but i would like this job so i DO want to get invited to the second interview.  but its also discouraging. i dont think ive ever made it to a second interview. i mean i am honestly sick of interviewing. 27 interviews and no job hahahahaha. well, i am a little TOO picky about jobs because i know I would prob K myself at a restaurant or fast food or grocery job. so i am trying to get a damn office job.

well just get a “transitional” job. well thats the thing. well sure you have to bullshit like its not transitional and you want to work at this shady restaurant the rest of your life.

well i can handle a lot more than i THINK i can handle, when I am not having Huge Personal Drama with a Woman at the job.

so if any one of these 27 places said yes, i could have probably handled it. for a year or so. then ragequit. then spent the next 15 months trying to find new job haha.

well the manager i talked to knew one of muh references, sort of. i will take that as a good sign. a SIGN from GAWWWWWDDDDDDDD. much like seeing that woman from my old job, working at the place i interviewed yesterday. not sure what is the better sign.

or it just means nothing hehehehe.

now i feel strangely tired. even though i got plenty of sleep. i always get plenty of sleep. too much sleep! i worry how i would be able to handle working 50 hours a week! i would literally have to do nothing but work and sleep. no exercise, no chores, no family, no 1488 podcasts, no powerwalks, no writing hahaha.

but heres the thing, i cant go RIGHT TO SLEEP after work because im too worried and my mind spinning and reeling about work stuff. the best thing i can do is take a ton of MJ, relax a bit, and THEN go study for 90 minutes or so, to give me a sense of confidence on the Work Material and that I am Ready for the crazy day tomorrow. so thats at least 2 hours of post-work home stuff there.

for a person that likes to spend 12 hours a day in bed, that is hard to swing hahahaha.

is it normal to spend 12 hours a day in bed? what is it a symptom of? despair? laziness?

i dont spend the WHOLE TIME sleeping. but uhh I do spend about 10 hours sleeping. 10 hours sleeping every night. the average is 7 hours. come on. but i feel like i cant FUNCTION hahahaha.

i mean yeah for a while i WAS a normie, getting 7 hours of sleep, working super stressful job all day every day. i was paying my dues just like everyone else.

but i just want a job where i can do tasks. have a routine. not have so much god damn change and confusion and being SLAMMED and having to explain and fix shit you didnt understand. its your job to answer the phone and there are calls always waiting in the queue.

heh the best was when i was on like a 90 minute call and i really had to urinate because i had been drinking a lot of coffee and water. i have actually put the caller on hold, ran out of the room and urinated, then came back to continue the call 2 minutes later with no one the wiser. because i was constantly putting the caller on hold for 5 minutes at a time to “research” or “get some advice” or run such and such a program.

but yeah that was HORRIBLE. i guess theoretically i could have asked the caller for permission so i could go to the Restroom. newbs would think, well why cant you just call them back.

ONE DOES NOT SIMPLY CALL THEM BACK because then you are in OUTBOUND call mode and that counts as Not Ready and you have to be Ready 85% of the time.  you are only ready when you are Inbound. on an inbound call, or those times when you are waiting for an inbound call.

i dont remember those times so much but we actually had them. but those times kinda sucked too because you were on the edge of your seat worried about when you would get that call and what it would be. i couldnt just Chill Out.

but yeah technically it WAS better than having one call after the other, to at least get a couple minutes between calls to rest or maybe even talk to your neighbor and try to convince yourself you were a normal human being who knew how to talk to people.

i dont want to work in a goddamn call center on inbound calls ever again! is that so illegit of me???!?!?!?!?!?!

its not like i wont serve customers or talk to people! i will give customer service! I will even sit in the inbound call queue for……..2 hours a day hahahaha. maybe even 3. but not fookin EIGHT hours a day.

i just hate that i WASNT TOUGH ENOUGH. I wasnt tough enough but SHE was.

 

wait until she leaves him for one of her more interesting male friends, he is right to be “insecure.” also he is shamed for thinking casual sex is wrong and not liking that his GF had a FWB casual sex partner. shamed by all the casual sex NIHILIST sluts of reddit.

feel pretty exhausted, not sure why. was it really because of muh 90 minute interview? i think so. but i used to do the equivalent of 8 hours of interviews every day at work. and yeah i was exhausted too but i couldnt sleep because my mind was RACING and worried.

right now im not worried and mind racing thank GOD. but i shouldnt be THIS tired. just from a 85 minute interview. i mean i sleep 10 hours a day. i cant upgrade the citalopram any more said the dr, 40 mg is maximum dose. the other option is that i could add wellbutrin. who knows. might do that. keep adding shit until one day i can HANDLE Normie Life. not even a Rel! but just a normie job. like the ones i interviewed for today and yesterday.

int tommorow, i am barely even preparing. i have talked to these people TWICE before, taken like FOUR tests with them, also this is a part time job, i am sick of doing prep work for them. but this part time job pays pretty well (15 an hour) and i would not turn it down AT ALL. I would welcome it.

just too many god damn college “educated” professional women on reddit. thinking they are all smart and progressive with their horrible nihilistic “progressive” “values.”

anyway i am a VERY low key guy and i would not like the “rockstar” gf like this guy has. its fine and dandy she has “CHOSEN” him but i guarantee shes gonna end up CHOOSING one of her more interesting male friends, and his “insecurities” will be 100% correct. he would be better off with a low key person like him, someone who doesnt have FWB’s.

i certainly want a low key woman. That Woman was very low key and did not like to party at all. no drinking, no going out, just staying in with the family, no tons of male friends. i LUVED that about her. i mean i have dealt with the other type of woman too. too many male friends, sluts, etc. college sluts that probably use reddit now and give horrible advice.

anyway i just worry that I singlehanded Ruined my rel with that woman because of My Issues that I should have been Getting Therapy for!!!!!!

but i HAVE been going to Some Therapy and taking medz every day!

oh god what a butt slut hahahahahahahaha

at the age of 24 shes ONLY had THREE serious enough relationships (out of 600000000000 secs partners) that she Luved enough to let them put it in the ass. THANKS.

anyway didnt mean to get on a tangent there.  i just dont want to RUIN rels with My Issues. Insecurities and Anxiety and Despair and Hate and Judgeyness hahahahaha. oh you had 3 FWBs thats gross and NIHILISTIC hahahaha. well it is.

well i mean reddit said its FRIENDS with benefits and its not nihilistic, its not disrespectful, and it involves communication and respect and mutual appreciation, you are not just using people for secs nihilistically.

so THEORETICALLY its something I MAY be capable of. like if i met a qt young gurl who i thought, oh yeah shes attractive i wouldnt mind having secs with her.

but if she was a decent person and i got along with her as a FRIEND, AND was secsually attracted to her…….i would CERTAINLY get some kind of FEELINGS very quickly.

so i dont understand how these FWBs just dont end up Dating.  you get along with the person as a friend, which is HUGE, AND you are secsually attracted to them, with is HUGE, and together with the getting along? i mean shit it sounds like something that would work really well as Dating, so why the f not do that?

like i was good friends with that woman and wished i could date someone i got along with that well. and then i started thinking of her secsually…..and boom the FEELINGS came right along with that.

so yeah FWB points to the nihilistic shit of being able to separate secs from feelings, which IMHO is nihlistic and wrong and disturbing, just like that anxious niceguy(tm) OP says in that reddit where he was shamed.

fookin interviews. sick of this shit hahahahaha.