WOMEN HAVE NO MORAL COMPASS AND ARE WIRED TO HATE OMEGA MEN

wed aug 9

so people used to drink like 1% alcohol beer because it was cleaner than water, the alcohol killed all the germs and viruses and bacteria and shit in the water, so it was actually safer to drink beer than water. and you stayed hydrated by drinking weak beer instead of water.

could you dump dirty water into beer and then the smallest amount of alcohol would kill all germs? i dont think it worked that way. like, you couldnt ADD shit. you could MAKE really watery beer and then THAT water would be ok.

whenever i read shit on /relships, im like, why are you even asking? just dump them. just dump them.

then i realize its because they actually CARE, they dont WANT to dump them, they want to save this relship, they are WILLING to MAKE AN EFFORT, they dont WANT to LOSE this person.

and it is painful when a person just wants to be DONE with you. they want to be done with you SO MUCH that they are ok with never talking to you or seeing you ever again. you might as well have DIED.

at least send your mom, or your BFF, or your new BF, or a Social Work Student, to be a messenger of the bad news and to say SORRY, I KNOW THIS SUCKS FOR YOU. or you can just send an email or text yourself which says that. sorry, i know this sucks for you, i dont mean to cause you this pain, but i cant do this anymore, i have to back out, sorry, the end.

how hard is it to send a TEXT saying THAT? it takes LESS THAN ONE MINUTE. to throw away a person without even taking LESS THAN ONE MINUTE to say something to them is just ridiculous hahaha. i would NEVER do it to anyone.

now i am on the outs with people but its completely different situation. like for an incorrigible addict who has been given countless chances by everyone in their life. that’s not what was happening with me and that woman. i felt i wasnt even being given ONE chance to Air The Grievances. Festivus hahahaahahaha.

i AGREE that at some point you can talk about it TOO MUCH and talking about it any more wont do you any good, you just need to END it.

i’m not sure when that point is. probably when one person is sick of TALKING about it and the other person is obviously not listening AT ALL. I think this is probably more than three times. use the old three strikes rule of thumb.

so yeah i dont feel i got three strikes. never even TALKED about it ONCE. SO THERE.

eyebrows. never understood the manicuring of eyebrows on women. i have about average eyebrows and i would be perfectly happy with a woman who had the exact same eyebrows as me. well i have one eyebrow hair that grows extremely long. not sure how that happened but i just trim that one single hair like every 3 months and that is good enough. basically i prefer a natural look to an artificial look, and everything women do to make themselves up looks so artificial to me! women of a certain age are NATURALLY beautiful! why do they want to fook it up by making it look ARTIFICIAL?

for a similar reason I don’t like makeup, lipstick, eye shadow, eyelash mascara, any of that shit. no thank you. YOU LOOK LIKE A HOOKER.

maybe the TINIEST bit of makeup to show that she is making an effort for you, her man, not to seduce a room full of rich men. of course she doesnt need to make an effort in the looks department, but showing the WILLINGNESS to DO SOMETHING for you shows loyalty and luv and good faith. the more you know. rather than someone who ignores you, avoids you, and takes you for granted. doesnt really luv you. wants to be done with you but is too craven to tell you in ANY way.

hire a damn Process Server hahahahahaha.  YOU GOT SERVED.

no i didnt hahahahaha. i would have preferred getting SERVED.

aaaaannnnnd bitcoin continues to go up. OH WELL. I DONT HAVE ANY MORE TO SELL.

I resent women because (and this is certainly not the ONLY reason) is because I would be SUCH a GOOD woman. I could be a better woman than most women. Men know what Men want. Men know how to be a better woman. Women have no idea what women want, or how to be a better man, so their opinions are stupid and worthless. men’s opinions are wise, meaningful, correct, and important. Men speak the truth, women speak bullshit.

but this is the way its ALWAYS been! dont hate a cat for being a cat! dont hate a dog for being a dog!

yeah but dogs and cats arent supposed to mate together!

but im just saying its always been CONCEALED and COVERT with women, they NEVER knew what REALLY goes on inside their body or minds, so why expect them to be “honest” about it? they can’t possibly BE honest!

i guess I just value HONESTY that much. and men DO.

i guess i’m just mad that men value honesty so much and women are naturally dishonest, incapable of honesty. if i didnt care about honesty so much, i wouldnt care about women being deceptive.

heh. well, what do women hate about men? they hate weak, needy, clingy men. and there are plenty of weak, clingy, needy men out there. i’ve been one myself.

i dunno. i just feel being weak, clingy, and needy is not as morally wrong as being DISHONEST. a cheater, scammer, liar, abandoner.

because im using mens morality not womens morality hahahahaha. for a MAN, YES it is pretty bad to be weak. or dishonest. for a WOMAN, for a MAN to be weak is the worst thing ever, and for a woman to be dishonest doesnt really matter. women get to get away with being CHILDREN.

i guess i also resent that too: men have to be RESPONSIBLE, women DONT. COME ON.

if i have to be responsible, i want muh women to be responsible too.

i struggle bigly with being responsible, but i know being responsible is the right thing to do.

whitesville west virgina, think i will move there hahahahahaha.

there were yellow flags and red flags with that woman, for example some silly stuff she believed…..but EVERY woman believes some silly stuff and has some yellow flags in that way. just be grateful she hasnt been with 60000 guys red flag. besides you can probably mold her towards less silly beliefs and make her a white warrioress bearing you many little white warriors. what could be better. and then when that woman leaves you like a ghost, you are devastated for at LEAST 2 years. it all makes sense.

hey. i KNOW i was important to her for a WHILE. like she genuinely liked me as a person, liked seeing me, liked spending time with me, i could TELL she wasnt FAKING it. so i guess i just wanted her to SHOW ANY of that at the end. like i’m sorry, i know this HURTS, sorry, i dont mean to throw you away like a piece of garbage because thats NOW how I think of you. you really DID mean something important to me, i just couldnt Do Those Feelings.

that’s all i was looking for hahaha. dont be SO goddamn destructive. try to apply a little soothing balm as you rain down fire and napalm and nukes. make any effort to at least do that.

dont let a woman name your children, they end up picking a STUPIDASS name like brooklyn or something. no. brooklyn is the name of a city, not a person. be a man and name your child something traditional and good like michael or mary or anne or elizabeth or john or james or richard or donald or adolf hahahahahaha. it’s not complicated. it’s not difficult.

how can you give birth to children but not know how to name them hahahaha. how can you give birth to children but also murder them and be horrible at raising them? why can’t men just get pregnant. they would probably do it better than women. we dont need women at all. women are a net loss hahahaha. just use women as brood mares, locked away from productive male society.  they grow children, give birth, and absolultely nothing else.

so what do you do with girls. you cant ABORT them because ABORTION IS MURDER.

yeah but women just arent WORTH as much as men hahahaha. they are LITERALLY inferior. their lives don’t MATTER as much hahahahahahaha.

no i am jk of course. but you see the slippery slope.

but really i mean come on. these women. they gotta start adding value. not just coasting on this being the bearers of children bullshit hahahahaha. actually be a worthwhile PERSON hahahaha.

JEALOUSY IS NATURAL AND NORMAL. Women will never understand this. they think jealousy is always bad and means they should dump you and that youre abusive and a horrible person and you should work to get rid of all jealous.

NO. JEALOUSY is a GOOD thing, because it WARNS you of BAD things: that the mother of your children is CHEATING on you.

Now, some people might be Overly Paranoid, and that’s not good, but if your GF is spending lots of time with her Male Friends, then YES you SHOULD get jealous! instead the women bitch about their jealous bf and then end up dumping him and getting with their male friends. because their ex bf had no good reason to be jealous then hahahahahaha.

i want terribly to sm0ke mj, but i dont want to be around st0ners, hang out with these degen idiots. i just want a big bag of mj all to myself, so that i can get blazed alone, in peace. no people around. that woman would have been the exception. i liked being around her, she didnt like being around me at the end. i was desperate to hang out with her and sm0ke mj with her, had a FANTASY of hanging out with her, smoking mj, cuddling, making out, her being nice and sweet to me, etc.

but i am also happy just sm0king weed by myself, other people make me nervous. just be by myself and listen to music or maybe exercise or something.

meh i dont care if emily youcis is a huge race traitor wh0re, she has done enough and put herself far enough out there that it pretty much cancels any past degeneracy. she has made real sacrifices and done real penance. she wouldnt do what she’s doing now if she wanted to go back to fooking blacks. she has woken up and changed. god for her.

i have no proof that she was fooking LOTS of blacks, but i assume that as an artsy, punk, drinking, MJ smoking, urban young gurl, singing in a punk band dressed like a hooker, foul mouth, yeah i mean i’m not NAIVE hahahahahaha.  she CLEARLY has a PAST.

but thru Becoming Who You Are, you can be Redeemed from any sin! its really kinda like accepting Christ as your personal saviour! but probably even better! with a lower Recidivism rate is what I’m saying. meaning lots of sluts will turn to Jeebus but still be gold digging, treacherous sluts at heart. maybe eventually destroy their beta cuck husband. but when a woman goes 1488 like this…..it would be really hard for her to turn back after that. i mean i guess sinead could, but she has no credibility anyway. a newcomer like emily youcis has more credibility that sinead, who has done nothing but attack good people. its very disappointing. she could have done a lot of good.

richard spencer is trying to hire one person for 12.5k a year hahahahaha. that’s about as much as Im making right now. and he wants this guy andrew joyce who probably is a good writer and has a graduate degree hahahahaha.

my point is, i simply couldnt just waltz in and get a 20k Alt Right Job, because there ARE no Alt Right Jobs! The one alt right job there is pays 12k a year and wants qualifications i dont have!

again, you would LITERALLY be a LOT better off taking calls in a tech support call center.  good god.

anyway i think it would be better if someone like emily said yeah i fooked negroes in the past, i am disgusted with this and would never do it again, rather than sinead avoiding talking about it, when she gets accused of being a mudshark all the time, and she probably was, but just wont address the issue. just say you did it, say you’re ashamed, say you understand your mistake, learned from it, and became a better person! we will forgive you! were not monsters!

not that theres been any mudslinging on emily. the alt right has been very gentlemanly to her and she hasnt done any sketchy shit either.

well she was just on the david duke show today, which is a good show, i just dont listen to it super often hahahaha. but he just had richard spencer on a few days ago, and he has andrew anglin on regularly. i have been down with david duke for YEARS. i dont like the plastic surgeries and the rumors of degeneracy, but the stuff he says is so solid, and I was glad he ran for senate, and is talking to the right people. keeps in touch with the young kids in the alt right. WN 2.0 hahahahaha.

i have listened to at least 20 episodes of his radio show hahaha and listened to at least 60% of the audiobook of “my awakening”, can heartily recommend. great book. great info on the JQ which I got in 2012 or 2013. Duke has been around for DECADES, before there WAS an alt right, and the best thing out there was mgtow. yikes. dark days. then you found stormfront and said, hmmm i think these guys are onto something, but theres gotta be a better way of doing this. this guy david duke is pretty solid, why arent there more people developing this line of thought? and now there ARE.

heh. i am an oldfag, back when i was getting into shit, MGTOW and MRA was the EDGIEST shit the internet had to offer. besides stormfront hahahaha. and i read a little bit of stormfront too.

but yeah boy am i glad the alt right happened, MGTOW was a damn dead end.

dec 29

so yeah. while I USED to identify as a MGTOW, i did have serious problems with it as I accepted my pretty natural desire to have a Wife and Children, to have a traditional monogamous white relship. pretty quickly i realized how jooish and unnatural it was for men and women to be at war with each other, to be enemies. this wasnt all womens fault. there was a more insidious force at work.

the family life was shitloads better than the mgtow single life. i couldnt believe how so many mgtows could not figure this out and were still either talking about how to bang sluts, or how to build robot women.

tarek and christina split. i bet it was her that is At Fault. To Blame. I never liked her hahahaha. i liked him a lot better even though he is half arab. plus he doesnt look or act semitic at all.  and their chidren were adorable. i bet she dumped him and he begged her to stay and make an effort to work it out baybeeeeee and now she is fooking new guys, probably WAYYYYY more nonwhite looking and acting than tarek.

right after he had that Cancer Scare! What a Horrible Bitch! but he seems too nice and she probably needs a man who can absolutely DOMINATE, if not abuse her. she would be more down for a more dominant arab man. tarek RESPECTS women too much. many women dont want to be RESPECTED hehehehe. then they go on reddit and tell women everything is abuse, loveisrespect.org. nope. you respect a woman, she will leave you for pedestalizing her. OR do something so horrible and disgusting to teach you a lesson about Pedestalizing. Take me off the pedestal! I’m gonna fook 10000000 negros right now!

going to buy new glasses. it is the biggest jooish ripoff since going to the dentist. going to the doctor hahahaha. go into these glasses places and they are full of Shark Women doing sleazy salesmen shit. absolutely disgusting. women shouldn’t be doing this. shit men shouldnt be doing this. no business should be run like an obvious jooish scam. capitalism doesn’t have to be so jooish and disgusting ahahahaha. purge the bergs and steins hahahaha.

americas best is the WORST. if it says 2 pairs of glasses for 70 bucks……..sheeeeeit. don’t tell me that 2 pairs of glasses for me is going to be 210 bucks. that is THREE TIMES MOAR. if someone comes in asking about the 2 for 70, do you really think they have a huge budget to buy the top shelf glasses and lenses? and us rubes don’t know that frames and lenses are two different things. 2 frames for 70 is bullshit when its like 140 for two sets of LENSES.

i would ask them, what are you looking to spend, 100 dollars, ok, well for that you can get this, for a teensy bit more you can get this, then you prob wont want to go much hgiher than that!

no frills, no add ons, no extras, no upselling, just bottom shelf, bargain basement, basic bitch everything.

2 pairs of glasses, out the door, with lenses, for 70 bucks. that is what i want. i don’t care about polycarbonate, or scratch protection (well, sorta i do), or antiglare coating, or transition lenses hehehehe. maybe if i had vision insurance, which only the top 1% do hahahahaha. or people like muh baby boomer family hehehe.

i thought getting a glasses shop job would be pretty chill, but after going to a few of these places, i can see that it would not be. on dec 29 the places were packed with people. maybe thats just normal for the holidays.

bitcoin falling finally.

GENTLY signalled interest in the MJ with the one person i can conceivably talk to about this. i thought he might have not registered the idea that next time he wants to go in, i’d like him to tell me so i can go in with him. he is generally good at reading signals but i still wasnt sure, besides, i am terrible at communicating stuff like this. and he is abstaining for the medium term for very legit reasons. but yeah yesterday i made it clear that when you decide to stop abstaining, please let me know ASAP. he clearly understood what I was saying. so that is good. Now I know not to be PUSHY.

in other words, ive done all i could there.

but yeah i was like damn how could i ever do what these women do. lie to people to sell them glasses. they deliberately make shit confusing and complicated to Upsell and Add On Shit, and have horribly misleading advertising. i hate this jooish shit and i hate that white women are stuck working in these jobs. i’d be like listen, you want the lowest price, i get it, well then you have to get this. i SHOULD HAVE studied the website for americas best before walking in there, just so i could tell them the things i DIDNT want.

well i ended up finding a pair for 70 dollars, including both frames AND lenses. that seemed reasonable to me. so just said ok ill take it. wanted to get out of there anyway. fookin glasses. the place was huge, had a ton of employees, and a ton of customers, and i thought, really, glasses? such big business? doesnt everybody have lasik or contacts?

i dont like honestly not terribly smart white women acting like jooish snake oil salesman. youre obviously tyring to confuse me with glasses jargon. dont do that. i should have taken 5 minutes to study glasses jargon before i left. but i shouldnt HAVE to in a nice huhwhyte country is what im saying. i guess i didnt realize the glasses industry was so thoroghly jood. i shouldnt be surprised though. health care, hospitals, doctors, dentists, medical, insurance, its all fooked and jooed. which is sad.

and when MJ is legal that will be jood too hahahaha.

tensions with israel at the moment. UN snubbing israel and obama/kerry saying yeah we snub israel too. trvmp saying just you wait bibi, just 3 more weeks and then me, your best buddy, me, will be in office, and you wont get this terrible treatment from the US. this was always gonna be the black pill about trvmp, was his super friendliness to israel, i guess we were just gonna not think about it until it was time to think about it. which is now nigh.

i mean i guess i support a state for joos as long as they get the damn joos out of the US. out of our media and culture and govt and business and education and everything. absolutely never gonna happen.

square pegs. mid 80s teen sitcom with teenage sarah jessica parker. she was a QT when she was young, fook this horse face nonsense! but it just never suits a woman to be a 40+ year old slut, so she brought that shame on herself!

i think she is jooish. doesnt stop 20 year old jooish gurls from being qt.

yeah i believe in REDEMPTION. and if i believe in redemption for myself, which i would LIKE to, then i have to believe in redemption for other people. namely, women, sluts, degenerates. if i can do it, they can do it. if they can do it, i can do it. and i like reading stories of actual redemption.

i dont think sinead is stupid. in fact i think she is attractive and its tech good she has a baby. she sometimes comes VERY CLOSE to making good points, and then totally crashes and burns, or attacks somebody great like millennial woes. so she is very frustrating and disappointing, because she has great potential. and of course she could be redeemed too. but my god she HATES the alt right. she views it as a totally gay compromised thing. calls it the alt k1k3.  i guess i should be happy that in 2016 there are qt white women who are ok on the JQ and not afraid to use the K word hahahaha. didnt have this even 4 years ago.

but yeah if kyle is her lover she should identify as his wife, and be like, im taken by my one man kyle, and he is the father of my baby. i luv him and will be loyal to him. and not have any ambivalence there.

so in short i dont trust her at all. i trust emily Y more than her.

wow what an insensitive cvnt. and she wants sympathy from reddit. i hope they crucify her hahaha. if she worked halg the day that her husbando worked, she’d be EXHAUSTED too. but now she wants to dump him because his job is exhausting him and she is annoyed by him being exhausted all the time. what a fooking bitch. he needs a woman who can have s ome damn sympathy for him.

basically with /relships, i upvote men and downvote women. and men who talk like women. women have nothing smart or good to say about relships. they have no idea how to have relships with men.

i think if i went into americas best and said listen. i see your sign for 2 for 69.95. that’s basically the type of value i want. I want the SHITTIES lenses AND the shittiest, cheapest frames, for less than 100 bucks TOTAL, out the DOOR. frames AND lenses, under 100 TOTAL. no deals, no add ons, no extras, no 2 pairs. no scratch protection, no anything protection, i am looking for the equivalent of no-fault shitty auto insurance. i would like to buy nicer glasses but i cant afford them.

reddit is gonna say there is nothing wrong with the sister being in JOOISH PORN and the man needs to GROW UP and GET OVER IT.

now i dont think you should be quick to pull the DEFOO trigger, and always be open to forgive and allow your family the chance to repent and redeem themselves…..but the sister is not moving in that direction at ALL, in fact, she is doubling down on the PORN. so the brother is RIGHT to be DEVASTATED and depressed about this. shit what if his WIFE decided this was an ok thing to do?

i was watching andy griffith and gomer pyle USMC and i was like, these quaint shows of a better time. that gomer pyle is a likable idiot. seeing that this stuff is STILL made by joos when you watch the crrrrrredits.

or this show “Square pegs”, which i had never heard of, but seemed pretty entertaining and well-written and funny. yep moar joos. which is not surprsing as this was the 80s. but joos in the 80s and esp the 60s didnt seem so god damn JOOISH as they do now. well except for that sneaky sneaky joo norman lear. i mean i used to watch all in the family regularly, and like the character archie bunker. i still kinda do!!!!

but yeah being JQ aware really helps you with shit like that. and reading between the lines to see this is more than just a good show. its more of a subversive and offensive show than you realize. you’re not SUPPOSED to……well i cant even say that youre not supposed to like archie. he’s the main damn character. i think you ARE supposed to like him, and realize YOU are just as horrible of a racist goy as he is, and then learn Lessons Of Tolerance just as Archie does. but archie truly says some hilarious shit. him and his wife edith are both great. and shitlib son in law meathead. total shitlib sjw leftist commie.

i WISH the show were written by alt right SHITLORDS rather than SJW Joos! honestly the alt right could bring the show back in this way, that’s a great idea. would be even kooler than a blatantly alt right king of the hill.

on the fatherland, muh boy no1 suggests that million dollar extreme/sam hyde is basically Entertainment/Comedy for Goys By Goys, comedy stripped of any horrible jooish influence. i mean i hope it is! we need our own CULTURE, stuff like music, movies, tv, stories. not just implicitly cool stuff like christopher nolan or something, but something that comes right out and says, this is who we are. we are not J’s. this work is 100% free from jooish influence. i would love that. cuz you can’t GET that in mainstream ANYTHING.

this is another benefit of black metal hahaha. it is very free of jooish influence. maybe thats why i like it so much hahahaha. was such a big boortzum fan for so long hahaha. really liking this saor/fuath hahahaha.

well because its impossible to make a tv show or movie without a bunch of Js getting involved. I like more solitary pursuits, more of a Auteur approach hahahaha. one man’s singular, unadulterated, unjood vision. much more practical to accomplish with music or books. and i dont like books hahahaha. well auteur movies are a good attempt too.

and certainly self made youtube vids. or 1488 podcasts hahaha.

havent really watched lots of MDE. dont know anythign about the other guys in MDE other than sam hyde. i guess there is an mde book now. i mean i respect and trust no1 so his recommendation is as good as any.

george feels responded to me and said thank you. so that was nice. have no idea if he is gonna fix the thing that i said he might want to fix hehehehe. well i did my part. i might give him another dnation next xmas hahahahaha.

when i get to the position he’s in….wait a minute i am actually OLDER than him hahahaha. AND he has a better job than me.  so when HE gets to the point I am in now, THEN he should start going to hookers and smokin MJ which is freely available in his damn town. just walk into the store just as easily as buying a bottle of booze. and he Gets To Do That too. I’m not even allowed to drink booze any more hahahahaha.

this is kinda sad. of course i would say take the “dream job.”

He has very low self-esteem and has mentioned several times that he may be depressed. Until recently, he would rant to me over text (hundreds of texts) about his insecurities, that he feels like trash, and that there’s a lot of expectations and societal pressures on him because he’s a man. Multiple times he’s told me he wanted to end his life. When I tried comforting him and dissuading him from it, it backfired and he lashed out against me, saying that there is no way I can empathize with people like him in the slightest. In subsequent meltdowns, I held back on comforting him out of not knowing what to say, and he said I lacked a moral compass and that women like me are biologically wired to hate men like him.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. well i know how this guy feelz, but the fact that she HASNT left him yet, CARES enough to ask reddit. but yeah. ive felt that exact feel. women HATE loser men more than men hate sluts. and they will throw you away like garbage. thing is, she hasn’t thrown HIM away like garbage, and i think if she DID dump him, she would make an effort to do it in a decent way.

yep you will be a virgin for the next 10 years, just be thankful you can even GET a job. also try not to get arrested for drugs or alcohol hahahaha

oh thats fine, nothing wrong with fooking 12 guys by the age of 18 hahahahaha.  sex is a conditional, relative, gray area thing. sometimes its serious, and sometimes its just casual fun!!!!!! yay!!!!!!!!

BE ASHAMED OF YOUR SLUT PAST. tell your bf yes im ashamed of what i did and who i was, and that shame is gonna keep me from doing that shit again. yes it is digusting i agree. instead when you tell him im not ashamed at all, whats wrong with that? uhhh yeah youre saying i have no shame about being a shameful slut hahahahaha.

because who knows when they are gonna get bored with sex with YOU and go easily find it with any of their 6000000000000000 male friends.

they SHOULD be ashamed of their slut past. that is the BEST way to make your new bf OK with your slut past. NOT say, no, i’m not ashamed of that gross degen disgusting shit I did!

you SHOULD be ashamed of disgusting things you did! not continue to unrepentantly insist these things ARENT disgusting! damn!

what ELSE is she not ashamed by but SHOULD be? cheating?

best to be with somebody who shares your sexual MORALITY – that sex is not some Fun Game to be played with any Sexy Boi. of course its hard finding a woman with that sexual morality! and if you do, they will not like you back and will reject you VERY HARSHLY hahahaha.

sheeeeeit you know what, she was EMOTIONALLY CHEATING on her original boifran. she wanted to fix things with him, but she was EMOTIONALLY CHEATING on him anyway. by becoming friends with ME. yeah i didnt realize this at the time, and not until recently, and its safe to say she NEVER realized it! because she was emotionally retarded!!!

 

DONT SINK TO THEIR LEVEL

dec 17

when young women are mixed race, they very often appear exotic and attractive and are in high demand. mixed race men turn out like pathetic hapas like elliott rodger who feel totally isolated, atomized, rootless, deracinated, neither white nor asian (or whatever) or at the very least have huge racial identity problems that the mixed race women  dont have. they;re like yeah i’m white AND i’m asian, very easy, and I’m hot as hell! I own it! and there will be no shortage of Thirsty Beetas to confirm to her that she’s hot as hell.

So women, IMHO, take race more for granted, don’t see how much race matters, they think you can be two races and its not a problem. they think HOW CUTE their mixed race babies would be. OH ID LUV TO HAVE A MIXED RACE BABY. THEYRE ALL SO CUTE, AND WHITE IS SO BORING.

WRONG.

but yeah this is obviously very dangerous thinking that they dont even realize is dangerous, so they need a strong racially conscious man to put his foot down, snatch up the women before she’s fooked too many nonwhites, and tell her, THIS IS THE WAY IT IS. we’re gonna have white children and then you’ll see why this is SO goddamn important. and you’ll be SO GLAD you never fooked any nonwhites.

well hunny, actually, i was a little embarrassed to tell you before, i had a slut period in high school for a month where i fooked the whole basketball team. but that’s ok, i was just 16 and exploring muh sexuality.  but that’s ok. im not ashamed and i have no regrets. it was a lot of fun.  its part of who i am. i mean i married YOU didnt I? not THEM!

hahahahahaha.

sheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeit.

had a dream with a young superqt woman i used to work with. she was super nice, got married young, still married, she occasionally appears in dreams. i think this clearly means that i would have liked to try Dating Her and that I possibly could have been Very Happy with her if we were Dating.  Yep not very doubtful on that.

in the dream she was hanging out with me, but the idea was, she was only hanging out with me because her First Choice was not there. She didn’t seem as nice and interested as she was in him. I was glad for the “chance” but she seemed distracted and not very interested. Then the next day her First Choice was back and she was all bubbly, nice, interested, and flirtatious with him, and I felt jelly and butthurt hahahahahaha.

yeah pretty straightforward interpretation here. it sucks to be an option. when you are a lower choice and they are your first choice. when you really like them, but they aren’t that interested in you. and then you see them get super interested in this other lucky guy. and then compare yourself to him. oh, he’s younger, taller, stronger, more confident, cooler, more popular, more smooth, more charismatic, funnier, more charming, more successful, more handsome, more interesting. more alpha, more masculine, tougher, more dominant. more winning. all that stuff.

anyway i never knew this qt young woman to be anything but very very nice and pleasant. always bubbly and smiling and laughing. i dont mind that. she was never bitchy to me. she smiled politely to me. now i never hung out with her and never became friends with her, because i knew from the beginning she had a BF, and i dont interfere with relships. let her dump him if she wants to fook other guys. well she didnt want to. she was a good girl hahaha. kinda like the good joo. they still have to go back. send them back to their homeland and all us huhwhyte men can live here and fook each other like women with gay satanist jack donovan as our leader hahaha. real alt right hahahaha.

heh. bernard. me and him have a similar view of women. i want to tell him, dont dislike women so much (nobody but crazy violent criminals really HATES women), you just got unlucky man, you met a lot of shitty women, i swear, some women are good, they arent ALL like that! and then i realize like bernard, i have been kinda unlucky too, lot of very disappointing women i’ve met, and given the shitty women bernard has experienced, i can’t BLAME him one bit for feeling very cold towards women. same with me! it all adds up! checks out! i gave them a chance! sure can’t say the same about them! they didnt give ME a chance!

hey i would LOVE to like women! just show me something worth liking!

well even now i am Reacting Emotionally. I’ve met plenty of women who had really really good moments. nobody is perfect. like that qt women from my dream was really really nice and likable. sheeeit even That Woman was insanely likable because she was so nice and pleasant and polite and nonobnoxious.

and just because i was hurt about being Thrown Away, now I think all women are monsters hahahaha.

she just got flustered and went into flight mode. i have done the SAME THING MANY a time. I get flustered about the littlest things. TERRIBLE at dealing with stress and pressure. just freeze, shut down, run away. how is this surprising? it’s not surpirsing AT ALL. so i kinda forgive her mostly, i totally udnerstand why….it just still hurt me greatly. still not over it. but def getting there thank GOD.

like if i were going out with the woman from my dream tonight and she were all into me, yeah that would be just fine.

but part of me still wants That Woman, and I would take her back if she came back to me.

Bernard tells stories of women that reappeared in his life 2 or 3 or 4 years later. and he was strong enough to say fook this shit, you didnt want to be with me the first time, you showed your true colors, how can i trust you, you havent changed, youve got worse, whats your scam, fook you no im not gonna give you another chance. this happened with at LEAST two women with him. so this shit DOES happen. and you know he was probably RIGHT to do that. these were crazy, untrustworthy, dumpster fire, horrible women. dodged a bullet.

so i think, well what if she started contacting me? i wouldnt be nearly so strong! i would say YES YES YASSSSSS! and be RIGHT back in full luv with her again. just like it was 2 years ago. i coul rekindle the shit REAL quick.

i mean who hates a person so much that you WANT them to be devastated when you dump them? I would never want that!!! I would do everything in my power to make sure they weren’t devastated!!!!!

not saying she WANTED me to be devastated. i’m referring to bernards women. they wanted HIM to be devastated, and they were mad when he wasn’t. that’s how shitty these women were. no wonder he doesnt like women hahahahaha. i am sorry for you uncle bern. you deserve so much better! and you get these fookin DUMPSTER FIRES. PSYCHO HOSE BEAST. cray cray. bipolar at best, more like damn BORDERLINE and sociopathic.

not all women are crazy evil sociopaths! not even most women. maybe. hehehehehe.

call in a favor from someone to do your dirty work for you hehehe. its not like you cant get people to do favors for you. get a thirsty omega orbiter to do it for you. i would totally take that. plus i would say, this bitch is ridiculous, i TOTALLY don’t want to be with someone like that. has an omega orbiter relay the message to me.

but yeah. one of muh biggest weaknesses in life is that i get FLUSTERED by very small things, and then dont think straight, and make stupid decisions, that have bad consequences, just because i can’t deal with stressful situations. get flustered so easy. and then act stupid. then people think im stupid. and that makes me REALLY MAD. but I would rather be mad than flustered or anxious. that is probably the worst feeling ever. just totally helpless like a child who wants their mommy to save them from the scary monster thats going to raep them, but then nobody ever comes, and the monster brutally raeps you and then you have to live with the shame of all that. its not like being K’d, that would in a way be better, cuz your suffering would END.

 

kinda think he uses a drum machine on the fuath album but it still sounds good. would prefer live drums OF COURSE. fairly compelling music, more sorrowful and cold than saor, which is not bad for a cold winter hehehe. also vocals are a lot more black metal than the weird napalm death style vocals of saor. which are not bad btw! but i just like they black metal style better. and the drum machine sounds tasteful…..but damn. i wish the guy could be as hardline against drum machines as I am.

kind of ironic that when I tried writing songs I used a Drum Machine hahahahahaha. but i wasn’t thrilled with the idea and knew I would rather have real drums. I would rather he attempted to play live drums himself even if he knows he is not the greatest drummer.

cuz yeah this music sounds immediately pretty enjoyable and it would be even better with a live drummer.

it would be funny if it actually WAS a live drummer. but i am so prejudiced i think everythings a MACHINE.

for the first burzum album varg had never played drums before. he just practiced for TWO DAYS before recording the album. and I luv the (amateurish) drum sound on that album. this andy marshall guy is a talented huhwhyte man just like varg. just play the damn drums like an amateur. its very endearing hahaha. did varg ever use a drum machine? did mikko A ever use a drum machine? come on. no one ever needs a drum machine for their one man black metal!

but this fuath….i could see myself enjoying it as much as i could possibly enjoy something with a drum machine!

yeah really clearly a machine on the fast bass drum bits. unfort.

but perfect album length at 41 minutes. its gotta be able to fit on ONE old school LP. which is lke 46 minutes tops IIRC.

GWW/Karen always had a pretty good impression on me, i mean she seems pretty solid, and even woman-disliker extraordinaire bernard should have a difficult time disliking her hahahaha. i think he would get along best with a woman like this, who pretty much thinks like a man, and seems kinda like a lesbian hahaha. this is the kind of woman bernard needs. he is a super logical not super emotional man, so he would fit best with a super logical, not super emotional woman, which karen seems to be!

i just think bernard would be a great father and its a shame that he only found crappy women. and their degeneracy rubbed off on him a little probably.

like the time where he was dating a woman with really nice legs but he didnt like her and wanted to be done with her, but he wasnt man enough to dump her, and then he ran into his ex gf, who was all hot to trot for him now, so then he banged the ex gf while he was still technically going out with his actual gf, thus making him a CHEATER! then he never responded to the hot to trot ex gf ever again because he just wanted to use her for secs one last time.

all in all pretty degenerate and negroish and i wish he condemned himself more for that particular degen incident.

the principled huhwhyte man would have dumped the bitchy gf, and never banged the crazy ex gf.

well, banging the ex gf is not as bad as technically cheating on your current gf. that is pretty disappointing. doesnt matter if they were on the outs. DONT SINK TO THEIR LEVEL. their shitty “morality” was started to rub off on him. NOT GOOD.

DONT SINK TO THEIR LEVEL.

i dont like to see moral people become generally more immoral.

i dont like to see good people go bad hahahaha.

not that that happened to bernard. in fact now i am thinking of that woman. did she really go bad though? i’ll never know. and would it make things BETTER if she did? why couldnt she have just had her MOM dump me for her hahahaha. and her mom could tell me, yeah she doesnt hate you, you were important to her, she just can’t deal with this situation, she is very sorry, but she doesnt share your feels, and im sorry, you must be really disappointed. you are a really good guy and would have been good for muh daughter. but this is what it is. ive talked to her and i can’t convince her to give you a chance. im sorry, this really sucks for you.

that would have been nice to hear hahahaha. dont even have to scrounge up 50 dollars to pay a shrink to give me the talk.

dont have 50 bucks? come on. how could a 25 year old woman not get 50 bucks. a thirsty omega would pay you 100 bucks just to HANG OUT with you and sniff your hair. 200 bucks if you smile at him and not act like an obnoxious bitch to him. for one hour of Friendly Hang Out Experience.

These Desperate Thirsty Omegas will pay Two Hundred Dollars for One Hour of Friendly Hangout Experience.

Sheeeeeeit i totally understand. I just might too. Thinking of all the Friendly Hangouts I had with That Woman before things got bad. and i didnt even pay her any money hahaha. i mean i bought 2 xmas presents and i bought her lunch and i bought her dinner i think. not that i think that entitles me to anything hahahahaha. well it entitles me to have her try to have her mom dump me for her hahahaha.

but yeah. have some dam respect for LIFE ITSELF. Human lives. the unborn, the men you date, the hearts you break, your damn self, the process that creates innocent new lives. have some damn respect for human life. this is what bothers me about women. aborting babies, throwing peopel away, breaking hearts, cheating, dumping, acting like sociopaths, enjoying being treated like meat, treating others as meat. this just seems DISGUSTING especially considering women are the MOTHERS of HUMAN LIFE.

ok now i am going off again. not all women are like that. NOT EVEN SHE was like that! she just did one cowardly thing, which wasn’t even surprising, now i’m making her, AND all women, out to be these satanic jooish monsters, which they are not, which even she is not! this is all in muh severely cognitively distorted head! im NOT THINKING CLEARLY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

shit im NEVER thinking clearly! I havent thought clearly since 2013 when i took a math class and thought clearly some of the time for that course. it was calc 2 and was pretty hard but i got an A because I NOT AN IDIOT, I SWEAR.

there is a horribly horribly disgustingly shocking ugly side to women. bernards seen it, i’ve seen it. the trouble is thinking all women have that dark side. but everyone has a kinda dark side. but it just seems that women’s dark side are so much worse than my own hahaha. and mine is pretty damn bad: total failure to live up to potential, lazy, drinking problem in the past, degen MJ smoking, cowardly omega. its pretty bad but i think its better than a woman who has had abortions, or cheated on guys, or broken 10 hearts, or fooked 10 guys, or fooked a guy she just met. all that is ugly as shit. uglier than anything i’ve ever done! and i’ve done a ton of shit im not proud of! they do worse and aren’t even ashamed of it! so fook YEAH i have a problem with that! I SHOULD have a problem with that!

yep im doing it again! back on the escalator again hahahaha.

jeez i just wanna sm0ke MJ right now! want to have a hugeass bag of MJ that will last me for at least 3 months!

i mean when i see qt young women, i dont want to JUST fook them like a negro animal. I want to protect them and be loyal and romantic and a strong man for them, a real traditional white knight. but NOT for some skank who doesnt deserve it! just saying i dont view women as pieces of meat. like if i am in church and i see a beautiful young girl. the jooish, pornified, negro mindset says, oh i wanna fook her hard, imagine her on muh dick. no. i have thoughts that are appropriate for a decent white man to have regarding treating women with some respect for their role as the Mothers Of Life. however that doesnt mean i will white knight for a dirty skank. so if she shows herself to be a dirty skank, i am fooking done. (unless I have already made muh bet. sunk muh cost. made my investment.)

WOMEN ARE THE MOTHERS OF LIFE.

hehehehehe.

buying Winter Thermal Super Warm Freezing Cold Weather Socks was very smart move on my part. cant believe i never did. just go to walmart and buy the thickest socks you can, and are marketed as arctic cold or some shit. they truly do keep your feet warmer.

 

THE SEVEN WEEK ITCH

oct 19

welp got 2 interview invites in 1 day, bringing muh average “up” to 1/19 hahahaha. 1 interview for every 19 apps. better than target of 1 out of 20 hahahahaha.

1 for IT Quality Assurance at healthcare place, that might be good. i dont have QA experience but i wish i did and I am fundamentally committed to the idea of quality! hahahaha.

and then interview for part time city job which i would like to get.

ok, this time, DONT TELL THE SECOND PLACE THAT THEY ARE SECOND PLACE!!!!

meaning, DONT be “up front” or “transparent” that I am interview with place xyz and that if they offer me the job, i have to take it!

my previous thought was, this makes me not look desperate. like i am a man with options. this might work with women, but not sure about Jobs. Jobs might only want you if THEY are your FIRST choice. by saying you’d take another job, you’re telling them they are not your first choice. therefore they wont pick you.

so, 2 interviews next week. and now up to 25 interviews, 479 apps. i was shooting for 25 and 500, so, even better.

25 interviews was kinda my Magic Number tho. like THERES NO WAY I wont get a job after 25 interviews.

course thats what I said about 20!

WELL, some of these things werent really INTERVIEWS tho. I added .5 for Testing Sessions and Phone Interviews.

well a phone interview is kinda an interview right? its at LEAST TWICE as stressful as taking a test right? so i really should count phone interviews for 1 instead of .5.

 

hehehehe i did not really get HEADDESK FACEPALM issues like this, i kinda wish i did, because then they would be EASY and I could EASILY BLAME the Stupid Idiot Luser and be CONFIDENT that I was right and knew what i was doing. When in reality i would get WEIRD shit and think, DAMN, I know even LESS than the User! I have no idea what this thing they’re using even is! I have to fix a tool they’re using which I’ve never seen or heard of before!

go to tales from tech support and read all the Long and especially Extra Long stories. that is kind of what our stuff was like hahahaha. Extra Long.

I am closer to these shockingly idiot Users than I am to Tech Support! so why am i am WORKING for tech support! i empathize and sympathize wiht the Lusers too much!

DOGSBODY. this is def a british people word, for “administrative assistant” or “secretary” or “factotum” or person who does the shit jobs noone else wants to do. slave, lackey, minion, grunt, monkey, meat.

a Half Day Shadow is more than enough to fully train you for everything in your job! Thank You Sir for the PRivilege of a Half Day Shadow!

2 interview invites in 1 day, thats gotta count for something right. so to celebrate, think i will only apply to 1 job (baby step), then do 10 pushups (baby step), then do a 1 hour powerwalk (kind of a baby step hahahaha), listen to new fatherland episode (not a baby step but a full pleasure, very comfy, like cuddling a QT or smokin a big MMJ hahahaha)

it is VERY frustrating when you apply for a job, then see the cover letter you used, and see that it has a mistake in it: misspelling, wrong company, wrong position title, some sort of error. and then you think, theres GOT to be ones i’m NOT catching. and i’ve caught at least 2 or 3 in the past 100 or so.

sheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeit.

 

 

like these tales from reddits

 

how to train your call centre dogsbodies

 

she has only ever been with OP, and the 2nd guy she fooked was this “gay guy” she fooked when fooked up one night. cheating on the OP.  now gf is crawling back and saying pls forgive me, take me back, you can fook other gurls, pls just take me back. OP has a bad feeling and doesnt really want to. i would probably say I FORGIVE YOU BABEY bla bla bal and then she would cheat on me again and give me aids hahahaah. grids.

once a cheater, always a cheater!

NOT EVEN ONCE!

So if I made it 30+ years without cheating “EVEN ONCE”…..uh i kinda want to STAY that way! and i also want a woman for muh wife who has never cheated even once.

 

 

heh this is what i dont like about reddit. they think the father is a horrible bigot because he doesnt want his 20 year old white daughter taking the BBC. well, i guess they could be jooish, here’s a situation where joos would call themselves white.

and she is JUST FINDING OUT her father is “racist.” because he has black friends and hasnt given any indication that hes a HORRIBLE BIGOT until his 20 yo daughter brings home a black silverback!

and all the reddit scum agree, oh yes, he’s a horrible person.

 

gf dumped guy, broke his poor heart, now is upgrading to a better man, and dumped boifran continues to torture and blame himself. yeah this sucks. its better when they downgrade to a shittier man…..but many times they dont hahahaha.  YOU are the shittier man because youre a big loser in life.

it just sucks when they Move On so QUICKLY and yeah i would like to see reddit shame the xgf for that. like you cant take more than a few weeks to be single and Process the Dead Rel? you IMMEDIATELY go out and find someone WAY better? at least accept that that is gonna do a NUMBER on this sad sack guy!

well at least he’s young and near to finishing an engin degree so the odds are in his favor of getting a good job with that.

i might just RESPOND on this thread because hes not getting enough sympathy!!!!!

yeah i responded with a rambling, incoherent, autistic thing. see if you can find it hahahahahahaha.

guy gets feelings for his close female friend. she doesnt feel the same way. he doesnt know what to do. they work together. but she doesnt HATE him for it and they still talk and she prob wants to be friends. well he is way more successful than me and younger than me hahahahaha. so i say just make money and bang bitches and put her on the SUPER back burner.

 

when she LITERALLY TELLS YOU she wants to “put you on the shelf” and fook other guys, DUMP HER!!!!!!! not ok!!!!!!

/r/relships is good in that there is a lot of input, some of it good.

/r/anxiety and /r/depression are both GODAWFUL because there are 10% of the posts here, and they are not very high quality. /r/relships always tells you go to therapy, and its just funny. they REALLY need therapy on anx and dep.  i mean, there is terrible/no advice on these. nothing actually useful. just yep i want to K muh self too, its hopeless, the end.

at least on relships they TRY. and the women give shitty annoying advice but half of the women TRY, and 75% of the men TRY.

THIRSTY. MEN ARE NATURALLY THIRSTY.

80% of men DONT REPRODUCE. 80% of men cant get a woman. 80% of men have been celibate for 2 years or longer. of COURSE most 80% of men are “THIRSTY” hahahahahahaha.

but you see what im saying. most men dont have any OPTIONS they can CHOOSE from. BEGGARS cant be CHOOSERS. BEGGARS are THIRSTY. its not BAD for them to be thirsty. dont THIRST SHAME them!

dont THIRST SHAME a man whose been crawling in the desert for 10 years!

in fact, to continue with this thirst metaphor, thirst is not inherently bad! it means you’re suffering because you’re not getting something you NEED!

so the proper response is, dont SHAME them, say oh noes, THIS MAN IS DYING OF THIRST! HE NEEDS SOME WATER STAT!!!!!!!!!!!!

now its not anyones JOB to do that for him….but his own skills may well be weakened. compromised.

so i should just go to a hooker is what you’re saying?

well i would much rather go to a FWB.

oct 20

sheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeit. interesting scenario, go to my usual social event and a new gurl is there, about 25 years old, white, very qt, friend of acquaintance of mine, so i figure thats fine, hes got DIBS on her if he wants, but i’m not entirely sure what his motives are, but if i think she is QT he prob does too!

she seems not super obnoxious or bitchy in personality, but also lets slip some potential huge baggage, like fam members dying of drugs, possibly crazy x bf’s, lots of male friends, possibly dated a black guy, or a guy with a REALLY black sounding name lets just say. who knows how many abortions, how manny cox.

and yet i found myself attracted to her, like wow what a qt, i dont care if she’s crazy, i dont care if she had a black boifran, i dont care if she’s been with about 10 guys by age 25, i just care that shes qt and doesnt have any children. and if she were showing me interest right now, i would like that a lot and i would get over That Woman a lot faster.

and then i felt ashamed and inferior because my social skills are pretty bad, i cannot keep up with banter with the normies, i dont hang out and go to the bar or bowling with the normies, and i have terrible Game and cannot Talk To Women, and thought “i have nothing to talk about with this woman. she has quickly written me off as the most boring guy ever. by age 25 women dont want to waste time with BORING, quiet, awkward guys.”

my excuse was, i just assumed the other guy had “DIBS” on her and I was happy to respect that. but if he DIDNT, and was just looking for a Degen FWB, which is actually very possible, and it’s Open Season, then yeah my game was horrible omega vrigin neet style.

so that made me not feel so confident. like a failure with women.

and also just felt like a failure socially in general cuz my normie acquaintances go out to bar and bowling together, even if they have to Work the next morning, and I am just realy awkward abotu hanging out. I cant contribute to the hilarious banter very smoothly and i do not show tonnes of interest in hanging out, HOWEVER these are decent people and it would be GOOD for me to hang out more, socialize, with decent people.

i mean i do try to be nice and try to act normie, but i just can’t keep up with the stream of constant banter. its not even ball busting banter, but just making jokes like a well adjusted normie. nothing mean spirited or douche baggy, like i say, these are decent positive people.

so yeah a bit of double whammy socially last night hahaha: i am terrible with women, i am terrible with people.

i thought of how high this gurls number would have to be to be a dealbreaker. probably 10, i thought. she can come in under 10 at age 25 right? thats not asking too much?

but what about the fooked up family? was she molested? ever raeped? was there really black guys she fooked? how many black guys? how many white guys hahahaha. is she a cheater? abortions? how many fwb’s? hows your father?

and you cant really ask ANY of these questions as small talk hahahahahahahaha but she did let some pretty big hints slip, and she wasnt even talking to me!

OCCAMS RAZOR sez, I just wanted to bang her because she was a young qt, fit my A E S T H E T I C pretty well as a pale skinned, long haired semi “alternative” gurl, who does MJ and is not a huge social butterfly. Chill Cool Gurl. and then i thought DAMN I would like to DO her, but I would ALSO like cuddling with her, and making out with her, and trying the nice sweet GFE with her.

WITHOUT EVEN KNOWING IF SHE WAS GFE AT ALL!

Basically if the woman is even close to my “type” physically, I will want to try the GFE with her. meaning, potential for FEELINGS.

so it was nice knowing that i could very likely get Real, True feelings for a woman again, AND also lower my unrealistically high standards: been with less than 10 guys AND no black guys AND no abortions AND no cheating AND no fooked up family AND no kids AND 25-27 yo AND 6.8/10 hahahahaha.

sheeeeeeit she MIGHT have children, she just didnt say anything about that. i guess having children is the REAL dealbreaker. she could be a huge mudshark slut for all I care.

well of COURSHE these things would have SERIOUS implications in a serious LTR, but uhhhh ive never gotten that far before. i guess i would gladly take the GFE for 3 months until i get dumped by a mudshark slut for being too clingy hahahahaha.

ok a 25m complaining about his 19 yo gf that she is immature and bad communicator. so why doesnt she just dump him hahaha.

WELL, my question is, HOW MUCH maturity should you EXPECT out of a 25 year old WOMAN?

i hate this, well, you can only be SO MATURE at such and such an age. people dont MATURE till age 40.

heres the thing hehehe: 25 is in a real gray area here. we can all agree that 20 is immature, 30 is mature. so what does that make 25 then? it could go both ways obviously.

ALSO, its not like this GF is running away from her older BF. she is posting on reddit in a way to Try To Help.

anyway. the good the bad and the ugly.

the GOOD thing about “meeting” this new woman yesterday (i had actually met her once before like 9 months ago?) is that it taught me that I AM capable of getting feelings for a woman in the future. that is not THAT woman hahaha.

the bad and the ugly, well we just went over all that above. really it might be ALL TOO EASY for me to get feelings for a BAD woman! like this new woman has red and yellow flags pointing to dumpster fire, but here I am wanting to do GFE with her! Rough Secs sure, but also tender secs and tender cuddling and dating!

basically you want to be nice to the young qt woman and have her be nice back to you, EVEN IF she is the biggest dumpster fire in the history of the world! you will put on the rose colored glasses and just IGNORE everything in favor of you FANTASY! you will WILLINGLY DELUDE YOURSELF!!!!!

and that is EXACTLY what I did for That Woman!!!!!!!! I willingly bought into a FANTASY so much that I thought the fantasy was reality!!!!!!!

this can happen when you are lonely and desperate and thirsty and you have a female friend who is 25, qt, no children, and somewhat nice. BOOM. ALL OVER.

well this got muh confidence back up, i just got TWO MORE INTERVIEWS today.

TWO INTERVIEWS PER DAY FOR TWO DAYS IN A ROW.

THAT is TRULY UNPRECEDENTLY.

FOUR INTERVIEWS IN TWO DAYS.

This is the biggest thing since actually DOING two interviews in one day. (although that sucked. here im talking about the INVITATION to interview. which does NOT suck hahahaha.)

which brings MUH NUMBER up to 27!!!!! HORRY SHEET!!!!!

so yeah good pipeline.

the two i got today are: one from “bank”, HR woman called me and said well you didnt get the tech job (i knew this) but they were offering ANOTHER interview for me that i had applied to in april, didnt get anything for, they reposted it, and then HR called me and said i didnt even need to apply again, they would just give me an interview. so yeah i was really impressed by this HR woman. well she DOES have a masters degree. i mean i generally get a very solid respectable culture vibe from this company, i like it. it is refreshing.

next interview was at my old old employer, now this is a PT job, not super enthused about this one, but this place i associate with good easy PT jobs, albeit low paying and no more than 25 hours a week tops, but its close, and easy.

but i would take the higher paying PT job from this other place i am interviewing next wed.

applied for 1 job today when i was interrupted in that by the two phone calls. hehehehe.

so when i get secsual feelings for a woman, its VERY EASILY extrapolated to “romantic” feelings. for me there is not a huge disconnect between secs and romance. which i think is the old school, natural, traditional, nondegen way to be! what GOD has made one, man should not separate!

ok. wewlad all these interviews and phone calls.

i think its ok to say i have interviews to the other employers. just dont say, well this other place is my first choice. but its PERFECTLY FINE and a good move to say, oh i cant meet you on that day, I HAVE ANOTHER INTERVIEW.

course now that i have SAILED past 25, maybe that is GAAAAAAWWWWWWD telling me that I actually need to get to 30 interviews, not 25.

but 25 is a much better number than 30!

really 33 or 34 is a better number than darn 30.

just know that chill, introverted, quiet, nonobnoxious women STILL have 60000000000000000000000 guy friends because men have to do all the Heavy Lifting of being Charismatic, Interesting, Initiative, Drivers Seat, etc. a woman doesnt have to do anything to have 60000000000000000000000000 except RESPOND to texts.

she can be kinda plain, a 6.6/10, as long as she is 25 and no kids, she will have NO SHORTAGE of Male Friends, and from them, and ENDLESS SUPPLY of potential suitors, fook buddies, whatever she wants.

im not saying this is wrong or bad, i just get BUTTHURT when i see women taking that for GRANTED. that i DO get butthurt about.

also its ANNOYING when women complain about their BF’s getting JELOUS and CONTROLLING because they are upset the gf has 600000000000000 male friends. but then the women complain when the bf has female friends, or, even more interesting, a female “BEST FRIEND.”

YOU SHOULDNT HAVE A “BEST FRIEND” OF THE OPPOSITE SEX. THAT IS EMOTIONALLY CHEATING ON YOUR BF.

or gf or whatever.

ideally, you would be single and available, and make your opposite sex Best Friend your actual Boifran. because best friend implies  closeness, intimacy, emotional connection that really MUDDIES THE WATERS when it is across Gender Lines. one person ALWAYS WANTS MORE hehehehe.

http://www.livescience.com/5031-hypermiling-driving-tricks-stretch-miles-gallon.html

heh. this is me. i would rather drive at 30 mph everywhere than stop at lights hahahahaha.

HYPERMILING hehehehe

i am not as obsessive about fuel efficiency, i just hate stopping at lights hahaha.

bbbbbut i still feel bad about being so PUSHY to her that she BLOCKED me.

bbbbbut i thought she didnt have to BLOCK me, she could have TALKED to me THEN blocked me.

bbbbbbut maybe im underestimating what a HORRIBLE CREEP NARCISSIST WOMAN HATER SCARY BABY I’m being!

ken bone said “i saw jennifer lawrences butt hole, and I liked it” on reddit hahahahaha.

i bet he did! i bet I would too! and any red blooded man!

i think i briefly looked at some of those pictures but not very long and dont remember a BHole pic, which is especially titillating.

then you think of your version of That Woman and how men have photos of HER BHole on THEIR phone. and women think all these guys just DELETE these pictures once they are done fooking. COME ON.

and i never even made out with her, or cuddled with her, or spent enough time with her, or got her to make an effort for me. show ME her BHole and gush jooice all over muh D. which she does for every tyrone and rodney and dontravius.

and i hate how i was so stupid and omega and weak and pushy that i Pushed her to this. i became what women hate the most: a spineless, supplicating orbiter, not even worthy of a courtesy text before Blocking.

well at least i didnt stalk her and Hound her afterwards. yeah i sent her emails. EMAILS. big deal. yeah they were long but she prob didnt even read them. might have just BLOCKED them.

what if your GF accuses you of being abusive, gaslighting, controlling, manipulating, a horrible person, but you dont think you are those things, but you do know you are a little jealous, clingy, needy, which maybe leads to some semi-controlling things, but not what you would call abusive or manipulative or gaslighting?

never teach women these words because they will use them against you hahahahaha. stop GASLIGHTING me! she’ll say, when you are calling her out for something genuinely ridiculous.

tyrone and leroy and rodney dont GASLIGHT me! they fook me HARD and take pictures of muh BHole and I like it!

also these women will be thrown for a LOOP when they see how WILLING I am to go to counseling with them. oh you think im controlling? well ok lets go to a shrink right now to fix this, unless youd rather walk away!

and then they would probably walk away, and spend a year trying to beg dontravius to go to a counselor hahahaha.

also women can CONVERT a male friend to a Lover at least 100 times more easily than a man can convert a female friend to a lover. AND THATS A DAMN FACT!!!!!

and i am NOT just talking about the other FACT that women have many MORE male friends than men have female friends. but controlling for this factor. because im very CONTROLLING hahahahaha.

 

ex gf returns 5 years later to apologize, make better closure, now ex bf is obsessing about her again, then she says lets go NC, and he is all confused and in luv with her again.

this is exactly why you go NC in the first place. while trying to have mature communication and get as much “CLOSURE” as you can at the time. you have like a 1 month window to get closure, then its over. NC 4 LYFE. Till Death.

heh. took some nyquil for the first time in a while. a whole dose. which will prob lead to “hangover” tomorrow.

well thing to remember is nyquil makes you dehydrated so you should drink A LOT of water right after taking it.

yeah i would still rather smoke MJ, but, really wouldnt want to do that with FOUR interviews coming up hehehehehe.

heheheh now thinking about getting a PO box for a few months just so i can have MMJ correspondence sent there. then i can always cancel it after like 2 or 3 months.

can get a small po box for 3 months for 20-25 bucks. this would be worf it to me hahahaha.

 

he is right to be suspicious! also he is too trusting of HER hehehehe.  so of course now HE is the one with “TRUST ISSUES.” what a bunch of manhaters hahaha.

 

interesting read hehehehe cuz yeah you can get an idea how they run their business by their priorities and the decisions they make in fixing problems. bandaids, fires, short term vs long term focus, etc.

heres a good one. i am still not sure whats going on. yet its my job to tell albert that this is the only workaround. also i dont have a manager who is approving me to escalate it to engineering. and albert would instead argue with me, well why CANT a patch fix it? why does it HAVE to be a full upgrade? and i would say I dont know, I can’t explain it to you, and I can’t transfer you to the guy who is telling me it CANT BE DONE.

but honestly, isnt that case a little CONFUSING? and you need to solve it in 20 minutes? every 20 minutes, a new weird case like this, all day, every day?

even the comments just make stupid jokes about vladimir without trying to clairfy the salty snacks patch business.

anyway. i just want to know if i did something really horrible to a person, or not. because i dont want to do horrible things to people! damn!

i really dont think i did! but i also dont trust my judgment, esp on relships!

but still. i dont think i did something horrible evil.

but it WAS a CLUSTERFOOK of a situation that would take AT LEAST a year to even START to make ANY progress. just being close to something THAT clusterfooky is bad.

i mean i dont WANT to be a horrible person! I WANT TO BE A GOOD PERSON!!! PRINCIPLED!!!!!!!!

though WOMEN think I am a horrible person, IM REALLY NOT A HORRIBLE PERSON? OR AM I?

WELL I REALLY DONT WANT TO BE!!!!!!!

im not as bothered by this as all this shouting makes it seem. although i certainly WAS!

right now i am just zoned out on nyquil. kinda bored tbh but too lazy to do anything. if i had MJ i would totes do it. lots of it. just waiting to go to bed tbh.

so right now i am more worried about the job situation than i am about that woman, and also some worrying about All Women In General, and generalizing TOO MUCH from That Woman To All Women, and i should NOT do that.

Not All Women Are Like That Woman!!!!!!!!!!1

and that woman wasnt even that BAD. but it was just that one thing that i didnt like. well not all women will do that one thing. namely dump you without a word, just a straight blocking.

oct 21

ok next day after full dose of nyquil. not a bad “hangover” at all. better than expected. and lemme make clear, the worst nyquil hangover is way better than the best alcohol hangover!

it is just IMPOSSIBLE to be Confident Around Women (and to a lesser extent, men) when you are a Jobless Bum!!!!!!!!

well maria bartiromo is like 50 years old and i would GLADLY bang the shit out of her and her huge probably fake tits. and i dont normally even pay attention to tits hahahahaha. i am much more of a legs/ass/hips man.

i mean her i wouldnt get any delusions or fantasies about the GFE because she is an Old Hag. i guess this si the ideal type of women to have for FWB. but tbh less than 1% of 50 year old women look nearly as good as her.

i dunno. i just hate having to explain to angry customers why we cant do this, when i dont understand why we cant do this. and i dont know if they are just being a bad customer, or my company is being a bad company. or really both are shitty, but whos worse. SHOULD the company be screwing THIS customer in THIS case.

finally passed the 2 thousand dollars of Work amount, which really is not a lot. in terms of Hours Of Work on muh job search, times 12 dollars an hour. i have only done 168 hours of actual work on the job search. which is DISGRACEFUL hahahahaha.

good lord. i dont ever want to become this blind hhahaha. its like she doesnt even realize CHEATING is horribly bad!

and this is the guys WIFE of SEVEN years. DAMN. maybe that is the “7 year itch.” shit i dunno. i never made it to seven MONTHS. technically, not even seven WEEKS.

bitches get the seven WEEK itch with me, hahahahahahahahaha.

the seven DAY itch, 7 HOUR itch more like it, amirite. can only keep a womans interest for 7 hours. great job. hahahaha.

i’m not THAT uninteresting! if women cared about IMPORTANT things, theyd see i was VERY interesting!

but then again, a woman who is too interested in politics is inherently crazy!

well, what about a woman who is super interested in MORALITY??!?!?!?!

yeah i would be ok with that. that would be great. because then she would be very interested in not being a dirty whore or cheater. yes.

and if she’s crazy…..well ALL women are CRAZY, just give me the ones that are MORAL. as long as their craziness doesnt compromise their MORALITY and make them behave immorally, like cheating, abandoning, or being a slut. then give me crazy moral all day erryday 4 lyfe.

shit who cares. as long as they are moral to me. shit go ahead and cheat on me, just dont dump me hahahahaha. work out a DEAL with me to dump me in a way that i can handle. like negotiating a payment plan.  to wean me off of you. and give me a pound of MJ too.

was reading city-data forums today. people in my region talking about getting a college degree and making 50k in their mid twenties. now im 30 and make 60k without a masters degree. i just had to have a good work ethic and work 70 to 80 hours a week for the first few years to pay my dues.

heh thing is, i dont want to work 80 hours a week to pay my dues.  would just as soon go crazy and quit!!!!!!!

why cant you jusy pay your dues at 40-50 hours a week?

how do people handle this?

i KNOW that having a qt waifu would help take the edge off, as would a steady source of MJ.

you can have another boifran, even a black one, just let me have my fantasy, dont talk about him, and hang out with me 1 or 2 times a week. and dont give me any diseases. and when you cut me off lets work out a cutting off PLAN.

i was doing a 3.2 mile powerwalk and about 1.5 miles from muh home I found, on the ground, a little canister for MMJ. horree sheet. it was broken and there was nothing in it OF COURSHE, but i just thought it was funny, considering muh obsession with getting a MMJ card and ultimately, a neverending supply of MMJ, and I would not throw my canisters on the side of the road like a negro.

maybe I should have Scraped the Canister for some Kief Krystals hahahahahahahahaha.

heh i dont necessarily think women would CHEAT on me with their male friends, but i WOULD totally worry that they, social butterflies that they are, always meeting interesting hot new guys, that they would find a guy that is better in the Mate Market than me, and then dump me for him.

i mean thats BETTER than CHEATING, but I really do HATE being DUMPED. replaced. traded in for an UPGRADE. really i cant imagine cheating being much worse. i mean the shit is probably gonna end anyway. might as well get as much time wiht the woman as you can.

yeah but she could give you a disease. and really cheating IS worse than dumping. why would you want to spend another minute with someone so immoral.

well maybe if someone cheats on you, its easier for you to HATE them, therefore easier to GET OVER them, because it’s much easier to BLAME them for doing smething OBVIOUSLY HORRIBLE. where dumping is not really horrible at all. you cant really HATE someone for dumping you. theyre not really WRONGING you. in the way that cheating is.

 

what a fooking dumb idiot slut. guy point blank tells her he doesnt like just secs without dating, she wants “just secs” from her “CRUSH” no less. I thought CRUSH meant you LIKED the person and wanted to DATE them. which is clearly what HE wants to do. i would like to think a 22 year old could be more mature than this. than a big slutty BABY.

https://www.reddit.com/r/niceguys/

OH GODDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD

sluts who fook chads and hate niceguys make fun of and mainly talk about how evil and rapey and creepy niceguys are, and how its so much better when chad nuts in their eye hahahahaha.

what i never got is, why do YOU LIKE treating people as a DOORMAT?

if someone were throwing themselves under my feet and wanting me to be a doormat, i mean it wouldnt even work, because IM NOT WILLING TO WALK ON ANOTHER PERSON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

IN ORDER TO BE A DOORMAT, THE WOMAN HAS TO BE WILLING TO WALK ON YOU!!!!!!!

i would say listen, stop being a doormat, Im not gonna walk on you.

no im not the worst niceguy ever, but i have some niceguy tendencies, and i can sympathize with some niceguys.

I mean honestly i would never say these things, i stopped saying woe is me, nice guys finish last, yeaaarrrrrssssss ago, so i am thankful for that. but i am still a meek timid nice guy. i know GOD DAMN ALL TOO FOOKING WELL that it doesnt entitle me to anything and that it is THE SHITTIEST, WORST strategy ever, and that women HATE nice guys.

i mean i wish they didnt hahahahahahahaha. stupid bitches and whores hahahaha.

apparently referring to women as “females” is telltale nice guy, means you treat them as a separate, unknowable species. dead giveaway.

i mean i very rarely use this term, i just say women to mean the same thing, a seaparate, stupid, slutty, species hahahaha.

anyway yeah what made things difficult with That Woman is that i DID know her, it WASNT a fantasy, i got to know her, knew the real her for 2.7 years. its not like i just MET her and immediately projected my fantasy waifu all over her. (which i have done with other women.) when i first met That Woman I wasnt projecting ANYTHING on her. i didnt even really THINK about her that much.  i just said well she seems like a nice gurl with a hard life, she deserves a good man, but i just cant be that man. oh shes got a boifran? well hope hes a good guy and they get married. oh theyre having trouble? well i hope they figure it out. then i meet him. oh he is a good guy, just a little autistic and stubborn. they can still work this out if he wants to. he doesnt want to. he’s done. he’s gone now. now ive known her for almost 2 years. jeez maybe i DO want to be a Good Guy 4 U. and if shes just gonna give it away to negros, why not me? yeah thats a little ENTITLED sure, but i didnt really feel entitled to her Dating me, as much as i felt ENTITLED to her ending the Rel in a more Sensitive way hahahaha. i never called her a fooking bitch to her face like these nice guys do.

yeah i mean the nice guys are cringeworthy, but these WOMEN dont need to HATE them so much. I REALLY doubt any of these nice guys would be Monstrous Abusers. shit, they cant even get a woman TO abuse hahahahaha.

if anything, CHAD would be somewhat more likely to be an abuser, IMHO!!!!!

I mean at least half of Chads are Good Guys anyway. to coin a term in contrast to “nice guys.” so then what do we call ACTUALLY nice guys? i say we call them “good guys”. i mean shit i still call them “nice guys” but then bitches like this subreddit think im talking about the bad kind of nice guys.

but yeah if a guy starts throwing him at your feet and saying WALK ON ME! IM A DOORMAT!!! that doesnt mean you HAVE to do it! i would say, stand the hell up, i dont walk on anybody.

 

 

 

YOU DONT HAVE TO BE RELIGIOUS OR CONSERVATIVE TO BE AGAINST MURDER

[but i do officially recommend being religious and ESPECIALLY being ultra conservative!!!!!!]

june 13

merry crimbo hahahahahaha

oh wow here’s a new one, they demand THREE letters of recommendation before you can even SUBMIT your application. well, with a salary in the mid to high 30s, they SHOULD hahahaha.

i pulled up something that was given to me in my Layoff packet over two years ago, that wasn’t really a recommendation, more like saying he wasnt terminated for cause, there was a restructuring and he was laid off to cut costs, we hope you give him every consideration hahaha.

got ELEVEN job apps done by 3 pm. WOW. JUST WOW.

rather than delete the bookmarks, i move the bookmarks to a new subfolder called, very sensibly, “completed applications” hahahaha. i can always delete that in the future.

did not have a dream about HER last night, although I did dream about naked women and it was pretty much pornographic. even though I haven’t looked at pr0n in 7 months. I chalk it up to just generally being Horney and Thirsty and not having touched a woman in 10 years hahahaha.

of course after i woke up I thought, wouldn’t it be nice if I could have had luving secs with That Woman, and had her sit on my face, and just grab her as I buried myself balls deep into her cvnt with her big fat thighs wrapped around me and her big fat ass sitting on me etc etc oh god i should never be thinking about that.

BUT she wasnt actually in the dream thank god.

then looked for jobs, got thru indeed for the day, had a longass list of way more than 11 jobs, and started blasting through them, and got through 11. good enough. way better than 4 or 5.

doing some laundry for the first time in like 2 or 3 weeks hahaha.

sheeeeeeeeeeeeit.

mutrk

I generally have very strong opinions about abortion, as indicated in the study. Even though I am politically conservative and somewhat religious, I think being anti-abortion is neither inherently conservative nor inherently religious. Therefore, I like to encourage secular and/or leftist anti-abortion groups….of which there do not seem to be many, unfortunately. My view is that you don’t need to be conservative or religious to consider abortion immoral, and I am not happy about pro-choice groups have tried to frame it as a strictly religious issue…..when it really isn’t. For example, atheists can be opposed to violence and aggression, and no one says things like assault and murder are strictly religious issues.

Personally, I think abortion represents a huge misunderstanding and disrespect for human life, and that is is comparable to slavery in terms of immoral things that are legalized and accepted by Western society. I think the way abortion is “sold” to young people does not prepare them in the least for thinking about the deep moral questions of human life and death, and some women only come to a deeper understanding many years later, and experience great guilt and regret over doing something they didn’t fully understand at the time.

I also challenge the idea that men are not allowed to have opinions about abortion because men cannot get pregnant.

I encourage you to look at Secular/Non-religious pro-life groups such as
http://www.secularprolife.org
to begin to introduce a perspective that you can have completely non-religious reasons for being against abortion.

I am committed to helping researchers produce research of the best quality and I am happy to give very detailed feedback on any studies. Please contact me through mTurk if you are interested in having a very high-engagement and detail-oriented research participant.

end mturk comment. hahaha it was a morality study saying how moral is it to abort a baby at 1 month, 2 months, 3 months, etc, then showed a picture of each month. I put “100% extremely immoral” for everything but 1 month, where I put 94% hahahahaha because at that point, it looked like literally a clump of cells. in hindsight, I should have put 100%.

but i sure gave those baby killing bitches with their phd’s a piece of my mind hahahahahahahaha

it just goes to show you how terrible these college kids are, when they wont even listen to ATHEIST antiabortionists. they just knee jerk with WOW. JUST WOW. HOW CAN ANYONE BE AGAINST ABORTION. ITS 2016.

because they think you have to be a Narrow Minded Religious Evangelical Conservative to be against MURDER.

YOU DONT HAVE TO BE RELIGIOUS OR CONSERVATIVE TO BE AGAINST MURDER.

It’s ABSOLUTELY DISGUSTING how the LEFT has twisted the issue like that. that you can’t even see murder as murder without being a conservative religious idiot.

so I always liked the guitar playing of sammy duet but I stopped listening to his band goatwh0re because i just find the singing to be a turnoff. I wish sammy just did the singing instead of their main singer, who is a nice good guy, but his style is……not my preference.

so it is with some curiosity that I look at this “ritual killer” project which features a different singer, and which is supposedly more raw that gw. and also features the original drummer of gw. I saw GW live a couple times when they were just starting out, and they were great, classic, top 5 shows. like during the time of their first 2 albums. i think i only ever saw them when they had the first drummer. after that I just couldn’t listen to their albums anymore hahaha.

which is a way of saying, i hope this ritual killer album turns out to be ok.

yeah they’re all degenerates hahahaha. the singer has tattoos on his FACE and i think they actually do satan worship. I used to think sammy was the coolest guy ever, and I even took a picture with him when I saw GW once hahahahaha.  but……he’s probably a degenerate too. i hope if he has any children he is a good father to them. also i hope he is less degenerate that I suspect he is. because he is a white man and all whites are capable of being non degen. i hope he does not do too many drugs.  hope this album is good (“exterminance.”) it is SHORT, so that’s usually good. hope the guitars are heavy and there are lots of blast beats and that sammy has more than 10% guest vocals hahaha.

but i can appreciate some good hateful, fast, raw black metal. I wish goathwore was rawer and more hateful hahahaha and had a different singer. i also don’t like his lyrical style, his lyrics make no sense and use the word “this” wayyyyy too much, and so then he’s always SAYING “this” in his annoying voice hahahaha. when I was 19 years old, I used to LIKE him. i did quite a 180. he’s still a decent guy I guess…..but just retire from singing and have a damn FAMILY , white man hahahaha.

well here’s that album i just mentioned. I just listened to it, the whole thing in one sitting. it was not bad. not bad at all. vicious and face ripping. tons of blast beats. I would have liked a little louder cymbal on the drums but still not bad. very sharp and ripping guitar sound. not enough screaming from sammy but the main singer is not bad. i can recommend it based on the guitars and drums alone. brings me back to 2000 when goatwhore was fresh and scary and evil. this RK sounds pretty evil and hellish. its kinda raw I guess. but for a fan of sammy who wants to enjoy gotahwore but cant, this RK is pretty good.

some noisy solos in there too. blasts in every song. a couple very rocking riffs sprinkled throughout. not bad at all. hateful and evil and a bit degenerate but also fun. but not TOO much fun. not a bunch of smiling happy phaggots. and I can actually tolerate the vokills.  3.6/5 bretty good

this is not bad at all and would be a great thing to listen to while exercising briskly. like Jogging, which I have not done in a while.

i was listening to the nationalist review, which is done by a guy on trs, well, at least 3 or 4 guys on trs,

the guy who leads it is no1 who I first heard on the fatherland, well this is his main show, and he’s really good. really likable marine officer, can’t believe he puts himself out there like that. his cohost natt is a danish guy who is really funny, just a huge arrogant asshole hahaha. and here they have andrew anglin on as a guest.

oh god bless these men. I don’t want to be on an Alt Right Podcast just yet, but I wouldn’t mind meeting and talking with some of these guys.

My own skills would be best used on a Neetcast however.

maybe doing a partnership with Millennial Woes. He is most like me personality wise in that he is prone to great despair, doubt, and neetism.

oh good god, no1 and natt do an episode with EVALION

subscribe to this guy already hahaha.

i dont need to dnate to him because he makes 148800 dollars a year as a marine officer hahaha.  plus they havent put the dnation hat out yet.  but i did find his email address on paypal hahaha.

june 14

2 jobs down, 8 more to go hahaha. also go see SHRINK today, yaaasssssssss!!!

well at least i appear to be losing weight again. probably because i am losing muscle hahaha.

8 down, 2 to go. damn. gotta go to shirnk very soon. took shower today, thats good hahaha. wanna not look and smell like a slob for the shrink haha. also when i was an employed bigboy, i did take a shower before every shift and come in nice and clean.

went to shrink, that was ok. talked about job search and shit, a little bit about that woman. i said it sucks, i learned lessons, but it jsut wasnt worth it. but then shrink said well arent I a stronger better person at the end of it all? technically yes, i am a better person in the end. so that IS KINDA worth it.

also the fact that I couldn’t make the same mistake again if i tried. there is no way this will ever happen again. it just CANT. Im not even worried about it. i have been changed permanently so that this will never happen again. in terms of being more assertive abotu communicating and stuff.

so i have become more mature and stronger and better able to DEAL with bullshit like this.

doesnt mean it wasnt ridic painful or stupid! because it was!

ok i will go back and listen to the old goatwhore albums. i really liked their first two albums. maybe i can still listen to them.  i mean there was some really good songs there, and maybe the vocals dont sound as bad as I fear.

anyway. yes i HAVE been permanently changed by this horrible experience. but it is possible that I have been permanently changed for the better……once we get to the end of it all. i am not quite there but i def am getting there. i still think of her obviously. pretty much every day. but it’s still a lot better than it was. but yeah i really need the distance and the no contact. i couldn’t do it with no contact. it takes well over a year just for her memory to even start to fade a LITTLE.

its like craving for heroin a YEAR after you last touched it. shit.

you stop craving for heroin like two WEEKS after. but HER, THAT WOMAN, I still crave for her a YEAR later. well, 11 months later hahahaha.  such that I cant even substitute anyone else. i mean, if i were trying to get off heroin, you can bet id be taking a LOT of MJ hahahaha. MJ helps you quit anything hahahaha.

MJ would probably help me quit this too heh.

but i just think about her and how good it USED to be and how much I luved her and how the hell am I gonna find that with another woman?

this IS a special thing that should not be treated like a casual cok carousel! you CANT get these feelings easily!

so i guess i should not expect to.

listened to that goatwh0re album, the first one, eclipse of ages into black (2000) and it def has staying power, it was great fun, and i didnt hate the singer so much. he still said this and these too much, but on some parts he is quite enjoyable. the lyrics are a frustrating mix of honestly quite good, and then filler tryhard this these fluff. for me the mainstays are sammy’s guitar and the drummer. they play very well together. and i like the old drummer better than the new drummer….who is not bad at all. indeed, probably sammy shifted his style as gw got older. some say they became more straightforward, and that they were “darker” and “more atmospheric” in the beginning. this might be true.

its not a huge secret that sammy is pretty serious about his devil worship, but i don’t know the details. i kinda would like to. like he literally does black magic and probably cuts himself. but he seems like an otherwise normal guy. not all suicidal and autistic and such. well, maybe he is bipolar. all these fookin musicians are bipolar. i heard he used to do Coke. hopefully he doesnt do too much of that. well, its better than meth hahahaha.

so sammy why not try orthodox christian. they are darker and more solemn and shit. youre gonna worship SATAN? I thought this was cool when I was 16-23. not when I was 45 or however old he is. you can be dark and “evil” and essentially worship GOD hahahaha. If he has a wife and children I hope he is good to them. Doesn’t neglect them so he can get drunk and do drugs and worship satan. but what I like about his style is that he writes tons of very catchy, very effective riffs. he is a riff machine. a riff factory. a true riffmaster in every sense of the word. not like nile, dumping tons of incoherent riffs. sammy dumps slightly less riffs and they are all a lot catchier. but still heavy, hyper, and fast.

WOMEN SHOULD CARE ABOUT GETTING PREGNANT AS MUCH AS I CARE ABOUT GETTING THEM PREGNANT

 

may 5

sorry not sorry i am always talking about abortion. any sensible person would agree its a big deal.  i wish there were MORE pro-life (yes I like that term) activists who were not super religious. I mean its gotten to the point where being pro-life, anti-abortion has basically become SYNONYMOUS with being a religious jesus freak weirdo, and the ONLY people who are against abortion are bible thumping, gun toting, gay-hating rednecks. my type of people hahahahahahaha.

but I will accept ALMOST ANYBODY as a pro-life ally: even filthy leftists. it seems weird to think of an anti-abortion leftist, but maybe there’s a few. and that could be a good point of entry into saving them from the left.

good thing I know how to turn unknown unknowns into known knowns and become an expert without hand holding

google is your friend

google pro life groups that are not religious

http://www.secularprolife.org/

this is one of the first results, that means they are a big one. hey i dont have the gift of discernment or judgment, I just take what google gives me hahahaha.

i mean i just don’t understand how being anti-abortion is strictly “A RELIGIOUS STANCE.” oh now were talking RELIGION.

NO, we are talking general morality. like mill and philosophy 101.

or even gayass libertarian nonaggression principle. dismembering your screaming fetus seems pretty aggressive, man.

i mean it just sounds patently ridiculous to me, to think that you HAVE to be anti-abortion for religious reasons. it seems just like common sense, kinda like how most people have common sense that murder is wrong. ((((somehow)))) people have been convinced that abortion is not murder, that the clump of cells is not a actual person.

http://www.refinery29.com/2015/10/96229/pro-life-millennial-activist

pretty sure refinery29 is a shitty pro-murder feminist leftist degen site, like jezebel. but decent article on pro life millennial gurl. and horrible comments from pro-murderers hahaha.

http://www.prolifehumanists.org/

another group i guess? kinda shitty website.

http://www.prolifehumanists.org/changed-mind-atheist-becomes-pro-life/

skinny friendly looking gurl with a polish surname, ok checks out, thumbs up for her. and she seems strong and courageous, taking an unpopular view among atheists and being hated by promurder atheists. So good for this courageous and strong young woman. that is a strong independent woman I can support! one who defends the right of our youngest, most vulnerable humans to live!

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Secular_Pro-Life

oh we already saw this one. its shameful how leftist atheists will turn against one of their own, when that person defends the rights of the unborn. ABSOLUTELY DISGUSTING. and as a fairly catholic rightist, I am very welcoming to the pro-life atheists.

http://www.patheos.com/blogs/friendlyatheist/2014/03/11/yes-there-are-pro-life-atheists-out-there-heres-why-im-one-of-them/

the cute atheist girl from prolife humanists writes an article here which got 4000 comments hahaha.

http://www.lifenews.com/2012/02/28/confessions-of-a-pro-life-atheist-why-i-fight-abortion/

this guy doesnt have his own group but he points out that even atheist hero chris hitchens was probably pro-life hahaha.

http://www.aul.org/

americans united for life

group of lawyers trying to change abortion laws. the secular pro life founder gurl went to law skool and went to work with them.

http://www.catholicworldreport.com/Item/1909/atheist_secular_and_prolife.aspx

article at a probably catholic website abotu SPL and some of its possible predecessors, including a j00ish randian pro-life libertarian who split with rand over abortion.

https://web.archive.org/web/20160427000025/http://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2015/oct/05/abortion-opposition-religious-atheists-must-help-fight-for-choice

scumbag at the guardian sez:::  “opposition to abortion is inherently a religious position, just like creationism or opposition to LGBT rights. ”

um no. hahahahaha. what have i been saying. its NOT an INHERENTLY religious position.

http://archive.is/FZ5nP

pro-murder atheists brutally bash the cute polish anti-murder gurl, doesnt matter that shes an atheist too. not that I like that she’s an atheist!

these people are truly VILE. just reading it for 1 minute makes the ole trigger finger itch hahahahahaha.

this is at freethoughtblogs dot com, which I absolutely do NOT recommend clicking on. hence the archive of their evil.

http://frc.org/arguments

pro life arguments for secular audiences. family research council. I know leftists hate this org.  FRC Stands for Faith, Family, and Freedom and is a bigass think tank.  but are they cuckservative zionists hahahaha.  will I accept cuckservative zionist pro-lifers as my allies hahahahaha. oooosh. now theres a REAL tough question. I mean you do realize who has been behind the abortion movement goy.

http://hopeafterabortion.com/

this one i guess is founded by catholics but will help even damn atheists who are feeling bad about their abortion.

i dunno. i just think its STUPID that something as common sense as being against Murder, has been made into something inherently religious, inherently “whackjob conservative”, inherently “anti-science”, inherently “anti-intellectual”, inherently extemist, hateful, bigoted, etc.

you dont say ANY of that about someone who’s against murder. most people ARE against murder!

and 60 years ago, people had the same common sense abotu abortion!

google secular pro-life groups

http://thebelltowers.com/2013/05/01/pro-life-without-god/

article by SPL founder gurl

http://www.nrlc.org/

right to life, biggest and oldest pro life organization. this does not look like religious wingnuttery to me!!!!!!

plan b aka the morning after pill aka “EMERGENCY CONTRACEPTION” wow.  not the same as RU 486 which is an abortion pill which can be taken at 5 to 7 weeks.

some shitty buzzfeed article (redundant to say that hahaha) from some sex positive sex educator slut who gives you 16 things you didnt know abotu the morning after pill.

if they put as much interest and initiative and studying into Moral Questions and the Rights of the Unborn as they did into Contraception and Consent and Exploring Their Sexuality……………………………  they would probably become anti-abortion. but they don’t and they’re not. largely because of how they choose to focus their time and efforts. isn’t this birth control NEAT! it allows me to enjoy my Sex Life Responsibly, and get maximum enjoyment!

i think it was the SPL group who had a bumper sticker saying “i might like sex, but I dont like it more than life itself” or something. there are more important things involved in sex than just your god damn physical pleasure, you god damn sicko degenerate.

people have a ton of sex ed in public school about condoms and contraceptives and abortion, but not a god damn word about Morality and Life Creation. So I think women are just IGNORANT because they havent been introduced to these topics. the same way a level 1 tech support person is IGNORANT of all the potentially useful stuff out there, like log files or process monitors or ways to automatically restore a crashed program.

theres all these unknown unknowns happening in the black box of the uterus. of course even the woman herself doesn’t know what goes on down there! in her own body!

its sad. well i think the more intelligent person will be curious enough to say, well when does life ACTUALLY begin.

also I am myself biased because i went to a religious high school and was raised in a religious family so naturally i had it drilled into me that abortion was wrong. but then i rebelled against all that during my college years, and i do mean ALL of it. religion, GOD, morality, pro-life. I became a full blown leftist communist marxist k1ke and supported womens right to abortion.

thank GOD I eventually grew out of that phase!

maybe if i had a gf or even was just banging bitches, i would be more in tune with the life creation process. like i always worried about getting a woman pregnant, even when there was no risk of me having actual secs at any point! i guess i always felt that getting pregnant was a real big deal, and i didn’t want it to have to come to the point of abortion.

thwart, dont abort as one of those groups said. meaning its ok to use rubbers. just had to mansplain that to all the ignorant women out there, hahahaha.

is this just because That Woman didnt seem very smart? very sharp? and I felt I had to mansplain everything to her and she just didnt GET things?

but she had two years of college and had a good GPA at it! so I think she was smarter than she seemed. but she was polite enough to know that being a smartypants is impolite.

i dont know. i am not intimidated by intelligent women. there’s just a big differnece bew

i bet religious pro lifers are more tolerant of atheist pro lifers than general atheists are!!!!!!

tons of recreational sex can warp a womans mind, and a mans mind too.

but also tons of pornography and tons of vidya games and no contact wiht women can really warp a mans mind too.

not sure what my point is hahaha.

maybe the only thing that will get a woman to think serious about the issue of abortion, is if she gets damn pregnant. and even then its no guarantee. she might just go ahead and do it because she believes what her teachers and society tells her: its a clump of cells thats a part of your body and you can do with it what you wish. its JUSTICE and FREEDOM that women have fought so hard for, against evil oppressors who tried to enslave your body. you getting an abortion is an act of social justice! you go grrrrl!!!!!!

white cadillac: a drink of whiskey (or scotch?) and MILK hahaha. the fatherland mentioned this and said it was a very black drink, but it was surprisingly good and really helps you sleep.

If i still drank I would be curious to try that hahaha.

google says no, the white cadillac is galliano and white creme de cacao?

anyway i like depressants that relax you and put you to sleep ahahaha.

yeah i overwhelmed her and that sucks, but she abandoned me and that sucks even more hahahaha.

took a little nyquil, i am back on taking a little nyquil every 2 or 3 days. ideally 3.

may 6

yeah that nyquil was all right.

listen. i dont consider myself super religious. i have always had pretty weak faith and very strong doubt. my moral code has been…..basically I try to give nonreligious reasons for all my moral opinions. and in doing so I believe I am getting at the same line of moral thought GOD and gods and deities have used to say something is wrong. thomas aquinas often appealed to “natural law” as well as scripture.

and its infuriating to me when idiots say anti-abortion is an inherently religious issue, when its so not.

THIS IS one of the great LIES the ((((LEFT)))) has pulled on us.

like one of the secular pro life groups says, you dont need to be religious to want to protect human life.

i hate how da j00s have made this a religious nutjob issue, instead of a BASIC HUMAN RIGHTS issue, like it really is. like SLAVERY. or the way they made pushing FOR abortion into a Human Rights and Freedom issue.

isnt that grotesque? arguing FOR abortion is a human rights issue, arguing against abortion is a religious nutjob, anti-human rights issue.

we cant allow them to frame the argument in this horribly misleading way!!!!!!!!!!

and encourage young dumb girls to do something horrible that they dont really understand!!!!!!!

which essentially makes them worse people , and they dont even understand why. they just become crazy and destructive and awful.  that’s your mind and soul acting out of rightful guilt for killing your baby hahahaha. but this guilt needs to be addressed. otherwise it can damage the lives of the people around you too. like if you sabotage your relationships with the people in your life. cheat on them, hurt them, push them away, abandon them, be a crazy bitch to them.

YOUR BODY DOESNT CARE IF ITS RELIGIOUS OR NOT.

Your Child Your Murdering doesn’t care if its religious or not.

(i would passive aggressively write “your” instead of “you’re” when I was texting or messaging her, because she was such a moron she didnt know the difference, and I wanted to SHOW her how ridiculous it looked…….but not knowing the difference, she never grasped it. people who have completed 2 years of college with a high gpa should not make these mistakes.)

yesterday i learned elliott smith was a college graduate who worked shitty random low wage jobs after graduating from a liberal arts college with a philosophy degree.  he also became a nutcase lunatic with big problems with drugs and alcohol and despair. but at least he became a successful and respected musician.  he could use his Issues to make a lot of actually good music. I cant do that hahahaha. and it wasn’t enough to help him!

yet he was clearly charismatic enough to get jobs and to get gurlfrans! there is solid evidence that he had secs with at least 3 women in his life ahahahaha!

what would have helped him? i guess he actually went to rehab but didnt like the 12 steps. ok thats fair. so do a non 12 step program.

near the end of his life he went cold turkey off all drugs and alcohol. but he was still taking psych meds for depair, also benzos for anxiety, and adderall for ADD when he died.

hmmm. I would say yeah get rid of the drugs and alcohol and then slowwwwly taper off the psych meds if you really want. or maybe just give them a chance to try to work.

maybe he was all on edge from quitting drugs and alcohol, and that actually gave him the Anxious Impulsivity as well as the Energy to Suddenly Kill Himself without thinking. just grab the knife and stab himself and then as hes dying he thinks, OH SHIT, i didnt really want to do that!

so yeah its sad. but musicians are a weird and crazy bunch and he probably was obnoxious to be around. musicians are selfish and annoying. they sell out their friends and luvers so they can obsess about their shitty music. but at least his music was not shitty.

but yeah i didnt know he had finished a college degree. like me it was a useless degree that didnt help him get a proper job. After college his music career gradually took off. can’t say the same happened with me hahahaha. I don’t really want to write songs anymore. I wrote one ok song after college and I’m happy with that, but, just dont care about writing music. I care about being a free, proud man, and finding and good wife, and securing the existence of my people and a future for my children.

and upholding the DIGNITY and SANCTITY of human life. I tell you what, a pro-life woman is also probably NOT gonna be a huge slut. because she fully realizes the power of the life creation process, and is not gonna have casual sex ever. MY KINDA WOMAN.

A PRO LIFE WOMAN IS MY KINDA WOMAN.

Yeah I happily use the term pro-life, because it makes the anti-lifers so ASSMAD. BUTTHURT. TRIGGERED.

and its just sad that modern women are such MORAL INFANTS that they cant recognize the moral horror of abortion, that unborn children are living humans, and that Fun Sex is the Powerful Process that creates these innocent human lives. If you can’t grasp these things, and SO many people don’t, you are a moral INFANT.

no men arent innocent either. but women have a little more responsibility here, because only women have the POWER to get pregnant.

so i feel better when i read testimonies by staunchly pro-life women. I wish I knew some real life staunchly pro life women. I guess I sort of do, some older religious women hahahaha. but i especially mean younger millennial women. marriageable women ahhahaha. potential wives.

nothing says i’d make a great mother than a woman who openly says i support the right to murder my own children!!!!! hahahahaha.

i still have the desire to smoke MJ. i still want to rationalize why its not completely degenerate, turning promising young people into lazy losers.  i say well it can help with despair and anxiety. maybe in the short term, but in the long term, it just makes these things WORSE! or does it?

like i’ve said, back when I was working my terribly stressful job and dealing with the stress of that woman and our rel getting worse, coming home after a long horrible day and not having a lot of time before the next horrible day, smoking MJ was easily the high point (hahahahha pun sort of intended) of my day. in these bleak conditions, I much preferred having MJ to not having MJ. it really provided some much needed relief. helped me sleep when getting good sleep was very important. so it is this experience that makes me think MJ isnt so bad after all.

or is it???!?!?!?!

horry SHEET it costs THIRTY DOLLARS A MONTH to buy linkedin premium on the LOWEST plan, for Job Seekers. are you KIDDING???!?!?!?!?! I would have maybe thought about FIVE dollars a month. how the FOOK can they get away with that? who is paying that shit!!!!!!

the REcruiter plan is one HUNDRED dollars a month. does that mean all these 27 year old attractive women IT recruiters contacting me for help desk call centers are each paying 100 dollars a month for their linkedin access??!?!?!?!?!

I would pay 5 dollars a month MAYBE. yet they can get away with charge SIX TIMES that for what I am looking for.

does that mean its SIX TIMES harder to get a job than I think? And I already think its kind of hard! that you need to apply for about 7500 jobs before you finally successfully get a job. so maybe you really need to apply for like 48000 jobs? hahahahahaha.

Privileged Baby Boomers didnt have to apply for 48000 jobs in 1970 to get a fulltime job that allowed them to have a family and live in a safe neighborhood!

you just got out of high school and starting working!

people with BAD ATTITUDES could be hired for good jobs! you just had to be WILLING TO WORK!

applied for account clerk 1 with county family health service department. like 26 k a year. ok thats more my style. probably talking to poor blacks all day complaining about not gibs me enuff food stampz mufugga. gibs me mo food stamps what can pay fo mah bluntz and hennesey.

and then i would be like silly negro, food stamps cant pay for booze, take it up with the fedgov. its because fuhrer god emperor trump doesnt care about black people hahahahahahahahahahahaha i will say as I strike a pepe pose with my trump hat hahahaha.

i have applied for countless jobs on this county job website and havent gotten so much as an invitation to a damn test. the city has been much more active on that front than the county.

does MJ HELP despair and anxiety……or does it make it WORSE?

ok i did it, just sent my first dnation to TRS. I have been wanting to do this for a while. I would have just sent 5 dollars but you have to send them BTC so I sent them .01488 BTC which is $6.75. FINE. they are all about the 1488 and really so am I!!!!!!!

other people i would like to donate to are millennial woes and weev. but I would rather save those for another day hahaha. dont want to blow my load all at once.  and maybe a secular abortion group like the one with that polish gurl who is very courageous and principled and moral. there is probably less “OVERHEAD” here than with a large org like right to life with lots of paid staff hahaha.

http://www.businessinsider.com/trickiest-interview-questions-from-best-companies-in-america-2016-5

stupid dickhead questions for jobs, where the best answer is suck muh dick you worthless virgin f4ggot and then walk out after farting tons of taco bell fartz in their faces.

no one has ever luved a person like i luved her, and had their heart broken like she broke mine, hahahahahaha. this is the first time in all of history.

but honestly. just show some common courtesy to someone who used to be your friend at least. its not like i sold you out and belittled you and showed you how little I cared about you. quite the opposite! i didnt do anything to make you feel SNUBBED and worthless. like you did to me hahahaha. just tell me I mattered a little bit to you and you are sorry to hurt me and wish me good luck in life and say goodbye, it was nice knowing you. you can say all that in 140 characters or less.

Now I cant even look at qt college gurls on linkedin because I have made myself fully public and they will be able to see my name if i look at their profile. Assuming they are also set to public.

you didnt have to luv me. i just really wanted you to show me a LITTLE caring and kindness, rather than ABSOLUTE ZERO. I kinda did feel entitled to a LITTLE kindness.

to that person: yeah I should have been more clear about exactly how important you were to me. yeah I see how those feelings would be scary to a person. and make them run away like a scared animal. but I wish you had come back and said something after your initial fright. even before I got feelings  I felt our friendship was pretty special and pretty good, and I think you did too. I wish when it all ended you had expressed appreciation for that nice friendship we had. Even without feelings, that was a special friendship to me. It’s not every day you meet someone and get along with them so well, and you continue getting along well for several years. I don’t make friends like that very often and have never had that many close friends. I think you are the same way. But now I don’t know any more. because the person I thought I knew would probably say something to me. Its ok to be angry. Its ok to be scared and nervous. I just wish you wrote me an email. I wish you didnt hate me for getting feelings. It makes things awkward and complicated and yeah it does ruin the friendship and I am sorry for causing you pain because of that. I just wish you didn’t hate me for it. You totally running away from me and blocking me hurts me a LOT. Is this some kind of punishment for me liking you? Maybe. But I think being blocked and ignored is inherently more hurtful than getting feelings for someone.  I never wanted to hurt you. I wish you cared about not hurting me.  This is the worst endings to one of the best relationships I ever had, and I was just asking for your cooperation and effort in ending it a little more smoothly, and you couldn’t even agree to do that.

end of letter to that person for this post hahahaha.

did a 3.64 mile walk outside in the nice may weather. wonder if you can get real vitamin d from the sun when it is after high noon. hopefully a little.

protip: if you are “lucky” enough to share significant musical interests with a woman, don’t ever go to a concert of that person with that woman. like you like the musician enough to actually want to go to their concert, and she does too. just go by yourself and try to make sure she never finds out about the concert hahahaha. cuz seeing a musician like this will likely be an important positive memory in your life, and you dont want it to be Tainted by her being there. because you are much more likely to have a falling out with her than to stop liking that musician. and your thing with her will end, and you WONT EVEN BE ABLE TO ENJOY THE MEMORY of when you saw them in concert because SHE was there with you.

I say this as a person for whom concerts of beloved musicians are Big Important Life Memories. You will know if you are one of those people.

I saw not one but two very important life concerts with her and now I can’t really enjoy those memories as much as I SHOULD. because they also partially remind of me of HER. And how we shared important musical tastes. and got along so well wawawawawawaw.

but yeah its so fooking gay when management has no idea how to do the work done by the people they manage. which is why managers should be promoted from within. or at least be SOLIDLY trained in the work their people do. or come from the same industry.

 

SERIAL MONOGAMY IS JUST CHEATING WITHOUT THE CHEATING / THE MANS FAULT BY DEFAULT / SO WILLING TO LOSE ME

feb 28

welp started the day off with some decent cleaning, got a big bag of stuff to throw away, and got another bag of stuff to donate. i am not a hoarder but i still have a ton of stuff just sitting there for years and years. some of the stuff reminds me of my degenerate and failed past….so i throw it away. if its donatable, i might donate it unless its too degenerate hahahaha. like books and cds and dvds or shit. cassettes and vhs i would prob just throw away.

mantras include:

i dont want her. i dont want her. i do NOT want her.

i will let go of her.

i am DONE with her.

i didnt do anything BAD/WRONG.

this is not my FAULT.

of course its good to admit responsibility and FAULT when you fook something up. and certainly i was not PERFECT. but to say the whole thing was my FAULT is inaccurate. really the root cause was the same as it ever was: she just wasnt interested in me That Way. how I handled it was not great, and how she handled it was insanely incomprehensibly catastrophically godawful.

well see i DO admit responsibility for the stuff that i screwed up. i just dont think warranted what she did in response.

not all women are like that hehehehe. some women will put forth an effort and try not to hurt you.

tricky response: yeah, SHE was like that, with OTHER men, just not with ME. therefore, it must be something wrong with ME.

what is the rational or at least healthier response to that: well last time i had a big rejection in 2012, the woman made an effort to do the right thing, and i dont think i screwed up any worse this time than i did last time. her response was just totally different. different women are different hehehehe.

its like when single momz who fall for badboyz say, i dont want a BOY, i want a MAN, i guess referring to the maturity level of the guy.

some guys are defnitely immature, but some guys are definitely mature and great and awesome.

many women are definitely insanely immature….but some are more mature.

some men would make horrible fathers and abandon their wives and children; some men are obviously great fathers and great men.

same thing with women. some women would make horrible wives and mothers, some dont.

bbbbbbut she could have been such a good wife and mother!!!! she would have been a great wife and mother to that other guy who didnt luv her back!!!!! and me and her got along as friends soooooooooooooooooooooooooo well!!!! couldnt we just get along like that, only at The Next Level??!!?!?!

apparently not. i thought we could. she thought no fooking way.

i guess if some stranger treated me bad, i wouldnt think it was my fault. or if they were “just a friend” i wouldnt get AS emotional. but when someone you LUV treats you badly, you think, o god what did i do wrong?

but then i thought, whys SHE so mad? she wouldnt be so mad unless she had some kind of feelings for me too! but maybe she just doesnt realize it. women are very subconscious like that. they have many powerful motives that are hidden to them, like the reality of what qualities they are attracted to, hypergamy, hating weak men ahhahaha. they will never admit that because they dont really KNOW about it. its hind brain lizard brain stuff they dont understand ahahaha.

i dunno. i just wish they were nicer when they dumped me hahaha. well some have been!

and this was just extra devastating because i felt closer to this person. we werent just going through the short term relationship simulator.

good lord. ask your darn MOM the best way to dump a NiceGuy Pussy. she might not be perfect either but she probably knows how to do that. she prefers badboys too, she understands hahahaha. but she would probably be better about not BLATANTLY breaking niceguys hearts.

realize what youre doing, wanting out of the rel while they want in, is inherently selfish, and inherently hurtful. theres no way around it. so take up the responsibility that goes along with the right to end a relationship at your will alone.

maybe pay the early termination fee to show some more good faith. just give me 1000 bucks.

well i never dumped anyone before. you know she probably WAS aware of all this. and it probably made her feel scared and overwhelmed to the point where she ran away from that.

she probably said i dont really want to hurt him. but i cant deal with facing him.

and of course in doing that she hurt me MORE than if she had just said something to me. at all. even an email hahaha.

yeah i never dumped someone. i am also a confrontation avoider. i dont WANT to hurt people.

heh. theres an interesting though: she did this because she DIDNT WANT TO HURT ME, and just avoided it altogether, which resulted in HURTING ME MORE than if she had just told me.

lesson: avoiding the person hurts them MORE.

anyway yeah i would be prone to avoiding too. i guess i can understand and forgive.

https://archive.is/BNUvl

dalrock: ” Marriage lite: mistaking “No sex before monogamy” for a moral statement ”

he does pingbacks and though i like and endorse dalrock, i just dont want pingbacks to my blog on other peoples pages hahaha.

also he is a good writer, but its confusing to discern his sophisticated points, and imho, roissy is the better writer.

anyway i think dalrocks point here is that serial monogamy is immoral and a form of immoral promiscuity, although serial monogamy is much easier to make excuses for especially for christians.

i will probably be increasingly pro-christian for the rest of my life; but i like to look for the nonreligious explanations of morality nonetheless, to not use religion as a proxy for morality. some people are very religious but can still find religious excuses for being immoral. religious loopholes. i dont like that. something is not just immoral because god doesnt like it; its immoral because it hurts people and or debases you or others. immorality is inherently immoral and that is WHY god doesnt like it.

you should strive to find things immoral for the same reasons that GOD/religion finds them immoral:: because they are INHERENTLY WRONG. not because the SkyDaddy is making up an Arbitrary Rule to restrict yer freedumbs.

basically, GOD has a damn good REASON for forbidding the things that he does. you should try to understand that reason.

so how do i feel about serial monogamy? i think its better than parallel nonmongamy, ie dating/fooking several people at once; its better than cheating; but it still kinda sucks. because it means you have someone LINED UP from your STABLE and are ready to go with them the INSTANT you break it off with the previous guy. or gurl hahahahahaha. meaning you checked out of your previous rel long before you broke it off, and didnt make an effort to fix things with that person. you were just looking for the right moment to leave. monkey branching. branch swinging.

it debases the other person because it treats them as disposable garbage, and says this relationship wasnt worth enough to you to take some TIME on it afterwards and reflect and learn and just be Single and get over him. it meant you were already over him, unavailable to him, and starting to be available to others. its a damn slippery slope to cheating. its cheating without the cheating hahahaha.

take some TIME to process the relationship, the death of something and someone that should matter to you, before you jump into something else. usually with sex on the offer within 6 dates at MOST, more likely 3, and god forbid 1.

look for the comment by “joe blow” on the dalrock article. trying to boil things down as lessons he would teach his son. realize that roissy is stripping the MORALITY away from things, which is not good imho. we should ALWAYS be concerned with morality. find a woman who is likewise concerned with morality. morality is important as FOOK.

roissy says women in love are like beta men. WOW. immoral though he is, this is a great and true statement. they willfully submit to luv, they will be heartbroken if dumped, they probably want to put lots of effort in, they are committed for the long haul, in short. they care about your feelings. they do tuff things for you. they try to talk and work things out. they are somewhat desperate to hold on to you. they cant imagine life without you. they would seriously considering laying down their life for you. love IS beta.

https://archive.is/xjGGa

dalrock: perversion of the word “ABUSE” to mean “anythign the woman doesnt like.” and sometimes the truth hurts. sometimes things take work and struggle and its not FUN. but if you arent constantly making her haaaaaaaappy and are annoying her, then its EMOTIONAL ABUSE.

and if you are like me, you would be HORRIFIED to be accused of any kind of abuse!!!!!

https://archive.is/KbSO2

the temptation for wives to claim abuse; EVERYTHING is “ABUSE”

now that woman never accused me of abuse but it certainly crossed my mind.

if you say youre not an abuser, then youre an abuser in denial. if you say you are an abuser, well you heard it straight from the horses mouth, hes an abuser!

http://archive.is/pVv34

similar.

everything is abuse, everything is neglect, not making her haaaaaaaaaappy is abandonment and abuse and neglect and Manipulation and Controlling.

these are not accusations to throw around lightly!!!!!!

i and other niceguy pushy doormat lower betas like me will never be accused of Raep, but it is entirely possible, and much more probable, that we will be accused of Nonphysical ABUSE. That we really didnt commit. and then hate ourselves for being such evil abusers.

in the manosphere they talk about false raep accusations all the time, but i think false ABUSE accusations are even worse. much more likely for the average man to face.

well, im not falsely accusing her of falsely accusing me of abuse hehehehe. she didnt accuse me ANYTHING.

but my mind was throw into overanalysing obsessing overdrive. i thought she might Wrongly Think I was abusive. i wrongly accused MYSELF of abuse!!! did i abuse her???

well NOW its OBVIOUS that i didnt abuse her.

well that was ALWAYS kinda obvious. but i worried that i was being MANIPULATIVE and DECEPTIVE. or i wasnt sure if i had BETRAYED her or not. and betrayers are in the lowest circle of hell hahahaha. its a terrible sin to betray someone, a TERRIBLE sin, and i dont want to betray ANYONE!!!!!!

anyway im not accusing her of anything and she hasnt accused me of anything. maybe she does in private, but never to me. i just dont know ANYTHING about what she is thinking about me. now, prob NOTHING. i am dead and gone to her. wow. looks like i made a real big imapct on her life, was a real important person to her, eh?

yeah well at one time i was. at one time our friendship was very mutual and two sided.

i just dont like being THROWN AWAY, and i suspect that NO ONE does. not even dirty sluts.

and i dont have the highest self esteem anyway. i have a lot of self loathing. and i STILL doing like being treated like garbage!!!!!!!!!!

http://theothermccain.com/2015/08/31/hit-it-and-quit-it-on-tinder/

”  No decent parent would ever want their daughter to be offering herself to random strangers online, and decent parents would be horrified if their son brought home a woman he’d picked up that way. “Tinder trash” for a daughter-in-law? No, son. Leave those trashy women alone.
Remember that herpes is incurable, 21% of women are infected, and I’ll bet the rate of herpes infection is even higher on Tinder.  ”

referring to:

http://www.vanityfair.com/culture/2015/08/tinder-hook-up-culture-end-of-dating

DEGENERATE.

theres some marxist feminist shit in vanity fair OBVIOUSLY but it still paints a degen picture. gurls having secs on the first date, guys having 40 partners in a year, 3 partners in a week. the young girls say some sensible things and the men are portrayed as brutes. but i would say Women are just as good as men in Caring Less, in the Who Cares Less competition.

not sure how cool this RS mccain is, but he was banned permanently from twitter for….some kind of wrongthink. but he might be a neocohen or cuck hahahahaha. but being banned from twitter is a good signal.

also, this is NYC, manhattan no less, full of degenerate young ivy league ibankers and patrick bateman types and the women who want them. these are not normal people. these are outliers of degeneracy.

so tinder is probably somewhat less degenerate here in flyover country, but how much?

how many guys has SHE gotten with from tinder? okcupid? how long does she wait before giving up the secs? does she have herpes now? 21% chance hahahaha. when some guy says i want to throat fook you and jizz on your face, your only a mile away, give me your location and i will be there in 30 minutes to fook”, does she say yes?

DEGENERATE.

dont give sex until youve gotten the mans commitment.

women are the gatekeepers of sex, men are the gatekeepers of commitment. this will NEVER be false. this is human nature. and women have lost sight of this. they need their fathers to teach them. i think men havent forgotten their role though. but it doesnt stop them from taking sex freely offered!! and they just wont commit to any woman, because theres no woman WORTH committing to!

heh. that vanity fair article was triggering. i mean what do you expect from an Oven Middle Class SWPL piece of shit like that hahahaha.

GET IN THE OVEN.

but yeah just the description of these tinder using degenerates is so degenerate. why dont they just STAHP doing this before theyve had secs with 40 guys? they talk to that degenerate christopher ryan who wrote the degenerate book “sex at dawn” and he actually had a good point, that these apps make it too EASY to overindulge and leads to “psychosexual obesity.” good line there. ive often compared promiscuity to GLUTTONY. dont be a GLUTTON and indulge your Appetite and stuff your face. its like a fat slob, or a drunk, or drug addict. SHAMEFUL. shows no self control. degenerate.

and i hate to think of My Perfect Wife going on tinder. just being so goddamn naive. she really needed a father. shame on her father for abandoning her.

i hypothesized that maybe she viewed ME as a father figure. maybe even i subconsciously ENJOYED it. i dunno. maybe it was just simple white knighting for the fatherless gurl. she needs a man to care for her and lead her. love her and lead her. i was happy to do this. i just needed some luv back once in a while. some commitment.

i think this is just part of the natural husband role. love and lead your wife.

what does she do when she gets dick picks from these perverts? or dirty messages saying AYYYY BABY WAN SUM FUKKKK? does she meet up with the black guys? guys who have their shirts off in the pics? guys that any decent father would be able to tell her, stay away from that sleazebag? her mothers smart enough, couldnt SHE tell her to stay away from these guys? she is very close with her mother. why doesnt her mother say you wont find any decent guys on that shit, dont get into that shit. stay off that shit. no daughter of mine is gonna be a tinder slut. when the father is absent, the mother can still say that.

its not even like she was a wild child rebellious youth either, banging badboys at age 16. she had only been with ONE GUY until it ended when she was fooking 24. was with him from like age 19 to 24. the prime of youth!!!!!

ONE GUY!!!!!! yeah that is super important to me, so its NO SURPRISE i got feelings for her. since i place such importance on chastity and innocence and purity and not being promiscuous. she fit that criteria in a BIG way. she REALLY sored high on that metric hahaha. so therefore its not surprising at all i got feelings for her.

so it sucks to see her on the borderline of becoming a slut now. when you thought she was out of the woods. who BECOMES a slut at age 25? answer: the women that didnt become sluts before 25 hahahahaha. if a gurl is not a slut during college, what a miracle, she can become a slut postcollege after she starts her career and gets lonely. Enter Tinder and Degenerate online shit.

i hate viewing women as immature infants who have no agency in all this. yeah women are naturally more immature and infantile than men which is why they need mens protection; from their fathers when they are children and from their husbands when they are adults; and that the white knight drive in men is healthy and natural, being protectors both as husbands and then as fathers; but do women have to be COMPLETE infants who have NO agency or control? i would like to think there is a happy medium.

so because women have no agency, anything that happens in a rel is by default, the mans fault.

its like fook i cant read your mind. i know you have been distant but you say other things like yes i miss you too we will hang out soon dont worry. but how i am i supposed to know you dnt really mean that? apart from the obvious writing on the wall hahahaha actions speaking much louder than words. ok i SHOULD have know. but i was blinded by muh feelings.

heh some say the manosphere are Equalists because they want men and women to be treated the same, holding women to the same standard as men, when you just cant, people arent Equal or the Same, men and women are different. i agree men and women are very different. but that they ideall complement each other. i think this is what is called “complementarianism” hahahaha.

http://archive.is/IIQbN

women are the ones who want to avoid commitment. pretty great post there from dalrock. quote:::

Early in the sexual revolution there was some level of stability for serial monogamy. This was because there was still some inertia keeping women from feeling comfortable hopping from man to man. But over time women have felt more and more free to enter and exit sexual relationships at will.

In reality, what exactly differentiates a LTR from a hookup? Is it fair for a man or a woman to have an expectation that their “Long Term Relationship” will be in tact an hour from now, tomorrow, or next week? Is either party judged for deciding at any moment in the relationship that it no longer exists? If either party can terminate the relationship at will simply by voicing their preference, where exactly is the commitment?

Long Term Relationships actually have no term and no commitment. The only way you can violate the agreement is if you get involved with someone else without a courtesy call to the other party first. Tell me if I’m getting this wrong.

Men are consciously or unconsciously starting to recognize this and acting accordingly. The hookup culture is really just men finally adjusting to the rules women have been playing by for quite some time. Now both will get what they want from the “relationship” for so long as it pleases them, and then end it when they wish. The only question is if it pleases them for an hour, a night, a month, a year, or a decade. As men become wise to the lack of commitment they are in turn withdrawing their investment.

Behold: hookup culture.

ie, its not a REAL committment if you can just walk out whenever you want. commitment is hard and takes work. you have to be wiling to do that work. women complain that men arent willing to do that work but my experience has been exactly the opposite hahaha. i was more than willing to work, and the woman wasnt.

doesnt mean there arent plenty of men out there who dont want to commit. well prob because the woman isnt worth committing to. she gave it up too soon and is not a good mother of your children type woman.

i dunno. i might be wrong about complementarianism. dalrock seems to say it sucks and is kinda weak and man blaming. ok fine hahahaha. i trust dalrock.

smply: WAS I ASKING TOO MUCH of her to ask her to act like a semi-mature adult and not a child? men and women are DIFFERENT – are women even CAPABLE of acting like mature adults? hehehehe well yes she acted like a mature adult before. but that was with men who took no shit from her.

so by being a weak man, i therefore did not DESERVE to have her be MATURE to me?

oh god.

so yeah on a sexless human level, no one deserves to get thrown away…… but on a man woman level, knowing that men and women are super different in what they react to, how they react, yes this really is my fault for not being a proper man? and she only reacted as a woman could be expected to react to that?

yeah ok i can see the point but really all i was asking for was an Ethical Dumping. come on. its a small gesture with a big impact.

i wasnt a Perfect Strong Man with the other women. but they still treated me better. so theres my proof. even within the world of man woman bullshit, you can be a weak doormat omega women and it doesnt mean women HAVE to treat you like A Nobody when they Dump You.

well they were just being super nice!! most women arent that NICE!!!!

heh i sure didnt think they were NICE at the time. and even now i would rather call them Average instead of SUPER NICE. just be AVERAGE nice. thats all i wanted.

i mean women arent known for their COURAGE sure, but if these gurls could summon up the courage, then so could any woman. i am particularly thinking of an 18 year old crazy bipolar slut, a 22 year old crazy slut, and a 24 year old decent not too crazy nonslut. they all managed to be nice enough.

well i still learned a lesson about putting my damn foot down. i will not make this mistake again. its really all about communication.

feb 29

sheeeeeeit. its just hard adjusting to life. the feeling that you screwed up the most important rel youve had in many years, she could have been The One if you hadnt screwed it up, maybe you didnt do any severe crimes, but you still screwed it up, if you were better she wouldnt have LEFT you, now youll never find someone you get along with as well, who’s as young and pretty and nonslutty, who you LOVE as much.

shit yeah it takes TIME to get over a BROKEN HEART. thats why i dont trust serial monogamy bitches. there is NO WAY i could Honestly Ethically Date another person right now. I still want HER.

I DONT WANT HER. I DONT WANT HER. IM DONE WITH HER. IM DONE WITH HER.

hehehehehe mantras.

but yeah i am not done with her enough to be fully open and available to someone else.

i mean maybe if i was banging 3 new hawt 24 year olds every week from tinder in NYC hahahahaha. in NYC, everyone is normal weight / not fat, good looking, under 30, no single momz, anddddddddd degenerate as fook, immoral as fook, in a modern day sodom and gomorrah.

mar 1

viceland the new vice tv network is absolutely the most degenerate thing i have ever seen. all degenerate, all the time. nothing but the most punchable shitlib faces ever. normalizing perversity and degeneracy. anti male, anti white, anti str8, thoroughly pozzed and j00ified in the worst brooklyn hipster way. like we are so cool and hip and edgy. its like mtv trying to be serious but even worse. however i cant take my eyes off it. however i feel that will gradually poison me. i mean its like pornography. well….not quite. but it is constant stream of degeneracy. you guessed it – ABSOLUTELY DISGUSTING.

yeah i just wanted to have some devotion and commitment from a woman. to be shown some real luv essentially. to have a woman luv me enough to show some courage for me, to be devoted to me, to do some work for me, to not be SO WILLING TO LOSE ME.

when we were just friends, she did show me a lot of luv. she was sweet and gentle and warm and interested and she wanted to hang out with ME. SHE would invite me and initiate sometimes. I was more of a priority for her. she CARED and she SHOWED it through her actions. i could tell. and I liked being on the receiving end of that.

so yeah its no surprised that i got hooked on that feeling and wanted more of it, more of HER. i thought if she can be this sweet and loving and supportive and awesome as a friend, imagine how great she would be as a GF! this is wife and mother of your children potential! someone who just really LUVS you and is truly committed to you and would walk with you thru the depths of hell. love and commitment.

i saw that she was totally devoted to her BF and she wasnt gonna walk out on him! she luved him and wanted to make it work with him. in the end it was HIM to decided to get out, not her. essentially i wanted to take his place and get some of that luv myself. because ultimately i was in luv with her and felt she was the one, we got along so well, good friends, she cared about me, i cared about her, well now that hes gone and youre single, lets try to hang out more. hehehehe. yeah i can see how it would look OPPORTUNISTIC on my part. it kinda WAS.

but fact is, i didnt LET myself get feelings for her while she was with her BF because i wanted THEM to work it out; also i didnt hang out with her TOO much while she was with her BF, i didnt go all in, because i didnt want to interfere, i didnt want to get TOO close, i didnt want to develop feelings, plus i didnt think it was right that a Taken Woman gets so Intimate with other men outside of her BF. it is emotional cheating and i didnt want to be a part of that.

apparently vice tv lets their degenerate show hosts smoke blunts right on camera hahaha. well not surprising since they have a whole show devoted to glorifying weed as a miracle medicine and showing kids getting wasted on super potent thc oil. well they have cancer and i guess they have a reason to take it. i guess my problem is actually showing the kids getting all stoned, and then vice saying, this is awesome and beautiful. and then giving credence to the view that mj not only helps the symptoms of cancer…….but that it actually CURES cancer. only a fooking degenerate pothead would think that.

who knows. maybe it DOES actually cure cancer. in which case i would be more for it.  how can they not have research to support that. not that i trust ((((research)))) either hahahaha. muh SCIENCE!!!! is fooking awesome!!! you fooking racist theist shitlord skygod  believer!!!!

heh yesterday i actually got -7 net calories. first time that ever happened. ate like 1000 calories (not officially recommended hahaha) and burned 1007 calories, a new high at the gym. so thats kewl. basically one hour doing slow jogging at 4.8 mph as much as i could, for the better part of an hour; and then a second hour with a focus on the incline hahaha. i should be LIFTING moar but at least i am in there. a year ago i was too scared to go to the gym. now im just scared to lift at the gym hahahaha.

good lord the gurls there. the clothes they wear are more revealing than me in my Underwear. its just fooking INDECENT. WOMEN SHOULDNT DRESS LIKE THIS, EVER. yet this is NORMAL for the gym! and often they wear gym style stuff outside of the gym: skin tight pants, etc. and these are 20 year old gurls. COME ON. their fathers have failed. failed as fathers, failed these women.

anyway. yeah.  i was just devastated that the sweet caring supportive loving woman i once knew, who genuinely liked and cared for me as a person, just shut off that caring without even taking to me.

YES I KNOW its kinda UNFAIR to get feelings for a friend. but i know that you cant choose feelings. i guess you can sorta keep feelings from happening, but once they happen, uhhh then that horse is out of the barn and its never going back in!!!!!!

its UNFAIR, its AWKWARD, but its not bad or hostile or abusive or wrong or a crime or misdemeanor or felony.

why cant you just say AWWWW, but im sorry, i cant. like any average woman would? how hard is that???!!?!??!

i dunno. i dont think someone getting feelings for you is grounds for you to not treat them like a human being, especially when you treated them as a valued, important human being before. i liked being IMPORTANT to her. and she would act like i was important to her, in the very nice way she treated me. i really liked that. i tried to treat her nice too. then i got feelings and treated her TOO nice and she backed away and that was it. you can back away, but at least respect the relationship we had and the way you once felt towards me. involve me in your decision to exit the rel hehehe.

i dont think my change of feelings justified SUCH a disconnect between her former niceness and her latter meanness. yeah i changed and you have a right to reject that change but dear god try to spare my feelings and i dunno. for me it was important that she recognized we had a good real important friendship in the past. and i wish she had cared about that feeling more.

its very complicated when you get Feelings for a Friend.

of COURSE it changes the nature of the relationship. of COURSE if the other person doesnt feel the same way, the friendship should probably end or at least go on hiatus. but i just dont think you should end it without any communication, any sharing of feelings. i just wanted to be heard, and have a chance to make myself understood. i mean she was not the sharpest and there was a real risk of her not understanding this. but at least give me a chance to explain it. i understood it so well and think i could convince even her. mainly, that sometimes peoples feelings change over time, especially when a man and a woman have a good friendship and get along very well and then the woman becomes available after a very long relship. how is this so hard to understand. its really NOT that complicated! i know women like to MAKE shit verly complicated because they LOVE DRAMA. and DRAMA SUCKS. drama is NOT FUN. it is destructive and bad. why would you LIKE drama.

and she DOESNT like drama! another thing i LIKED about her!

so yeah she didnt want to cause drama. she just wanted to avoid a difficult situation.

i do this ALL THE TIME!!!!!! how many times have i AVOIDED doing something i probably should have done? ALL THE TIME!!! if anyone should be able to understand what she did, its me!!!! she avoided talking to me because she DIDNT want drama!

well i argue it wasnt REALLY “drama”, it was an important, necessary conversation……but i can see how someone might confuse it with “drama.”  because it was emotional and complicated and awkward and a big deal. but unlike actual drama, it wasnt manufactured bullshit. it was real, important, and necessary.

but yeah i avoid shit all the time because i just dont want to do it!!!!!! and thats all she did!!!!

i just HOPE i would never do THIS to a person. I like to think i wouldnt. i mean ive never been in the position before. had a friend fall in luv with me, where i didnt like them back.  never had that happen but i HOPE i would treat them better and not be so COWARDLY that i did THIS.

 

RELATIONSHIP BILL OF RIGHTS AND RESPONSIBILTIES

feb 1

wow. i really gotta get out this rut. this is no way to live. this is not healthy! i would not recommend this. time to get a new shitty job, go crazy, and quit in a Huff, mving myself even further down the career ladder. i dont move up the ladder with time, i move down it hahahaha.

i grew up having a very negative opinion of women. in short, they were mostly bitchy, dumb, slutty, disgusting, stupid, mean, obnoxious, annoying, awful, scheming, hypocritical, immoral, sneaky, lying, cheating, evil. you couldnt possibly like or respect these pigs. they literally had no redeeming qualities except for the secs they sluttily gave away to every man except YOU hahaha.

probably because most of my friends had bad experiences with women and werent big fans of them either! and that rubbed off on me.

also women seemed intimidating because i didnt know how to talk to them, how to deal with them, and i didnt like how they all had secs with guys so QUICKLY. that seemed like a big deal to me, and i thought shit if youre the one who can get pregnant here, you prob wouldnt have a problem with waiting amirite?

i had muh first crush on a girl in 7th and 8th grade when i was 13/14. that was a bad choice because she was a mudshark slut. yes you could be a mudshark slut at age 14. how disgraceful! but she was a Bad Gurl who liked very Bad Bois. the badder the better. i have no idea why i liked her. prob because she was real purty. i felt that it was disappointing that she was such a bad gurl. i kinda wanted to save her and turn her into a nice gurl hahaha.

then i went into my women hating phase until like age 20/21, when is the second time i develop actual feelings for a woman. and they were very very very strong, and disrupted muh whole life. i didnt know how to deal with them!

in the interim i made out with 1 gurl when i was about 15 and i had VERY mixed feelings about it. i kinda felt pressured into it, that she wanted to do it more than i did, but i just went along to Gain The Experience, but i wasnt particularly HAPPY about it. i was kinda ANGRY about it for a couple years! also she lived like 50 miles away. maybe if she lived nearby i could get to know her as a person.

by age 20/21 i was completely off the track and should have took a hiatus from college at age 20, started intensive shit with a shrink and meds, gone teetotal from alcohol and MJ, stayed at home, got a shitty job, and finished up college at close to home U, pref in STEM hahahahahaha.  but nooooooooooooo i soldiered thru my useless degree and continued all my bad horrible habits.

i became sort of friendly with some women at age 20, but it was not until age 21 that i made my first decent actual official female friend. that was a positive move. also at that age i first pseudodated a gurl. and we rushed through all the beginning stages of a “rel” in a very short time, leaving me confused and sad and angry and disappointed and crazy hahahaha.

i made some more female friends at age 22.

anyway not sure what my point was. probably that its pointless and a bad idea to hate women unless you actually have some female friends.

even as women were dumping me and disappointing me and i should have really Hated All Women, i didnt really, having female friends was really useful in keeping me from hating all women.

you see, i didnt really LIKE hating all women! i didnt WANT to hate all women! it was GOOD for me to have female friends.

now, there was a little bit of drama…..but that was because i had fallen in LUV with a friend of my female friend. so i completely lost muh mind. the regular DRINKING did not help at this point. i should have just stopped drinking and been like ayyyyy baby wan sum hang out lmao and gotten rejected that way, instead of drunkenly pining for her.

MY POINT is, its not fun or good or healthy to Hate Women, and its a lot easier to not hate women when you actually have some Woman Friends. in fact, this will go farther in curing your womanhate, than actually dating or getting feelings for a gurl . cuz that shit always ends badly. with my female friends, well the ones i didnt fall in luv with, it never ended BADLY. we just drifted away as friends often do. but no hard feelings.

and it sucks to think of somebody you were in luv with, you wanted to be with forever, now they are giving dat secs up really easily and quickly to other guys, and that makes you sad, angry, and disgusted. because its none of your business. but i say you are still entitled to your opinion that she should not be a disgusting whore!!!!! and entitled to be hurt when she is. even if shes done with you. becuase you are not quite done with her. you are still in luv with her, still want her. who knows when that is gonna be over.

2% milk has 120 calories per cup, whole milk 150.

yeah i have reading reddit relships all day to convince myself that i did nothing wrong and that she is out of line.

well i admit i was cowardly and weak. but that it wasnt THAT bad. i mean its hard to have a hard discussion. give me a damn break. i wasnt trying to AVOID it. i was trying to confront it, in my weak way. i was hinting an signally heavily, and trying to hang out. she was tyring to avoid everything.

i dunno i dont like to be treated so disrespectfully. its very disrespectful to be Thrown Away Like Garbage!!!! can you understand that?!?!?!?!?!

its not so bad if its a random stranger. then you can just say fookin asshole and never see them again. but when they were once your friend, a good friend, and they do this……its LIKE a betrayal hahahahahah.

plus her throwing me away like garbage is WAY more disrespectful than me getting feelings for her.

i didnt think she had such little respect for me! so that was shocking! shit she used to have a lot of respect for me.

i have never lost this much respect for a person! i dont even know how to relate to that! well except when women dump me and go be huge sluts hahaha.

https://bu.reddit.com/r/relationships/comments/43mn60/my_19_m_girlfriend_20_f_of_almost_2_years_broke/

hmm i almost wrote a response to this guy but he deleted his story and i cant find a cache/archive of it hahahaha.

nothing TOO exciting, i just sorta related to him. young man and his gf dumped him. not in the worst way, but not in the best way either. i wanted to use it as an example of, yeah this isnt the worst dumping, but women should aim to dump a lot better than this.

how are they so stupid and UnEmpathic that they dont know or dont care that they will be causing a person Great Pain?

how are relships such ugly, disappointing, tragic, heartbreaking, insane, Wrong, Clusterfooks??!?!?!?!?!?! cant people get along better than this? just use a LITTLE common sense. i would treat a person way better than this.

therefore, it is WOMEN who are at fault for all the Sorrow and Badness in Bad Relships hahahahaha.

https://bu.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/43mukg/my_19_m_girlfriend_20_f_of_almost_2_years_broke/

http://archive.is/uq1hT

FOUND IT! he crossposted it in relship advice as well. and i archived it for all eternity hahahaha

what i would say to him: yeah she COULD HAVE shown you even LESS respect by cheating on you….but she SHOULD have shown you a HELL of a lot MORE respect tho, by taking into account your feelings about being dumped, and being nice but decisive in dumping you.

IMHO, when you agree to a rel with them, you OWE IT TO THEM, its part of your RESPONSIBILITIES to them, to dump them gently and kindly and compassionate, if it reaches the point where you want to dump them and they want to stay/work on the rel….and you want to get out.  its like an early termination fee. the “fee” is simply BE NICE. BE KIND. BE GENTLE.

i would NEVER treat somebody like this unless i HATED them. i would never HATE them unless they made a concerted effort to push my buttons. i wouldnt hate somebody for getting feelings for me. i know you just cant turn feelings on an off at will, for any random person.

i hated one guy because he trolled me on our views of the world and became the most annoying faggot you wanted to punch in the face repeatedly.

i think thats how i made her feel hahahaha.

to her i became a really annoying faggot she wanted to punch in the face repeatedly.

damn.

punchable faces hahahaha.

that might be the best word for how she felt about me. the reaction i got out of her.

but i really feel if she took 5 minutes to think about it like an adult, she would see how ridiculous that is. why couldnt she give me that courtesy after the years together? are all women this childish and stupid and obtuse and unkind?

its totally immature, like something a 14 year old would do.

and in some ways i am very very emotionally mature, like a 14 year old: i get feelings too fast and too strong, i get feelings if i have secs or make out with or even cuddle with a gurl, and get way too attached to them too fast.

but i think this is a more positive way to be emotionally immature, than in the bad way, were you are paranoid and throwing tantrums and hate people for shitty reasons, and cant even attempt empathy, and are all hot and cold with no in between.

i mean she has empathy too, ive seen her use empathy, shes empathzed with ME before! just in this SITUATION to have her get so bipolar, was weird as hell, and caught me COMPLETELY off guard.

some woman on TRS forum said to be attractive to women, you have to TAKE REJECTION WELL. I thought this was stupid because a. nobody takes rejection super well b. if a woman rejects you and sees that you arent really upset….then what? is she gonna revoke her rejection? probably not. and if she did, that would be stupid and shameful and not the type of woman you want to be with.

so in other words, when That Woman rejected me, she probably hated and disrespected me EVEN MORE when she saw how upset and devastated and hurt I was.

i dunno this makes women seem like SADISTS, just shoveling hate and misery and suffering on men.

it did not seem worth it to autistically argue this one point with the forum woman hahahaha

well i took THE PREVIOUS REJECTION PRETTY WELL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I TAKE REJECTION AS WELL AS CAN BE EXPECTED, WHEN THE WOMAN MAKES AN EFFORT TO BE NICE ABOUT IT!!!!

why WOULD you reject someone in the meanest way possible?  because you HATE them?

why wouldnt you TRY to be nice or sympathetic when you are rejecting someone?

why would she not even take 5 minutes to THINK ABOUT THIS and how what i did was not some evil horrible thing???????

what the hell did her friends and family say when she talked about it with her? surely they cant all be as fooked up as her! unless she lied to them and said “UGH hes been creeping and stalking on me for months. he KNOWS im not interested but he still doesnt TAKE NO FOR AN ANSWER!” and then they say “well dump that creeper to the curb gurlfran, you dont owe him an apology lmao”

cuz she seemed pretty reasonable and thoughtful, and her family did too, such that if she were making a horrendous Lapse In Judgment, they would steer her the right way. and i believe this was a Horrendous Lapse In Judgment on her part.

yeah yeah yeah a tale as old as time, but im not used to it happening to me, from a person i really didnt expect it from.  it shattered my confidence and made me think, hmmm maybe i really DID do something awful to warrant this. i dont realize it but i still stabbed her right in the back and she is just showing righteous anger now. i am reaping what i sowed, even though i didnt realize i sowed it.

so yeah its a long process trying to convince myself that i am not reaping what i sowed, that this was a YUGE lapse in judgment on her part.

but what DID she say to her family and friends? that i was just being a CREEPER WEIRDO and not taking NO for an answer? how much would they have pushed back on that? I”LL NEVER KNOW. Like they could ask her, well did you TALK to him about this? did you tell him you dont want to hang out, or do you keep telling him later, later, later? do you think maybe he likes you? dont HATE him for THAT. hes not a bad guy!! try not to break his heart when you dump him, he’s not trying to hurt you. hey maybe even give him a try, he would treat you really well, you could do a lot worse, you already know each other and get along. you knew this guy for almost 3 years and used to be good friends. dont just throw him away like a piece of garbage, he’ll be devastated, and thats just bad karma, not a cool thing to do to anybody. think about it. if he had any choice in this, why would he pick a time when its bad timing? did he write you any emails? oh a couple long super long emails? did you read them or just delete them? this isnt some random weirdo. remember not too long ago you were telling me what a good person he was. so treat him like that.

ok fatclub. hopefully TRUMPENFUHRER wins iowa caucus. is there one winner for each party?

whos worse, bernie or hillary? probably hillary hahahahahahahaha. bernie admits he is a j00ish socialist hahahaha.

AND if she told me WHY she couldnt just talk to me….oh because i BETRAYED her. i would STILL want to talk about THAT.

well i dont agree i betrayed you.

well i think you did.

and you think I will be able to convince her i didnt betray her? I, as the accused betrayer?  I would need a damn independent tribunal. 3rd parties. which i why i wanted her to talk to her friends and family. shit i should have Reached Out to her friends and family at the time. i thought about contacting her mother. i met the mother a few times and she seemed to like me, and i guess the woman used to tell her mother all sorts of good things about me. if i were personally closer with the mother, i probably would have contacted her!!!!

but i just wonder what The Woman told her mother, and what the mother said. I will NEVER KNOW.

its really hard to say!

maybe there was no talk at all. or it was like, yeah, were not getting along so well right now, we are drifting apart, not as close anymore, oh well that happens, thats life.

i just hate thinking this will happen again: that i will accidentally do something HORRIBLY WRONG an drive the woman of muh dreams away from me;

and also worried i will never feel that way about a woman again. i am getting OLD, and i dont like older women, and i dont like casual sex women on the websites.

heh. i thought I WONDER IF SHE IS ON TINDER then i saw you couldnt browse tinder without a smart phone.

i actually went to tinder with the intent of looking for HER. confirming that she is putting herself out there for casual sex.

anyway i hate making mistakes, HUGE mistakes, without even being aware that i am.

and if this is the LAST woman….damn.

i wish she hadnt made me feel like i royally screwed up.

but no one can make you feel someway without your permission.

but…..when they treat you like you did something horribly wrong….they are kinda making you feel you did something horribly wrong. and in at least 50%, they would probably be RIGHT!

essentially i am being falsely accused hahahaha. i dont know how this feels. it is so confusing and disorienting.

cuz sometimes….its RIGHT for you to feel bad, its not a matter of you “giving permission to let someone else make you feel bad.” its because you really did something bad to them, they are upset at you, they should be, and you feel bad.

and you SHOULD listen to the people who you care about and who you thought cared abotu you. because their perceptions of you matter.

so when someone who mattered to me a lot thought i was a awful piece of shit…….i was hurt, and i felt horrible for hurting them.

heh. they should have KNOWN that i would take this hard. they should have thought hmmm he will prob be hurt by this, probably should tread lightly. not be EXTRA HARSH.

well really extra harsh would be her TELLING ME all sorts of shitty things like “i hate you, you did this to yourself, you made me do this, youre horrible person,etc” while dumping me. really she was just too afraid of confrontation.

she might ahve WANTED to be nicer to me, she was just too SCARED to.

I WILL NEVER KNOW.

and because i was obsessed about handling the rejection like a man….i did not contact her 90000000000000000 times afterwards. i contacted her like 4 times. i begged a little bit but not too much. i didnt bombard her with so much shit, to FORCE her to say “stop harrassing me, i am blocking you, if you stalk me im getting a restraining order” etc. she just blocked me on FB and she may have blocked me on phone and email, no way to confirm that.

just watching iowa caucus instead of going to fatclub. i came in under muh calorie goal anyway so thats good. on muh BEEF DIET hahahaha. best shit ever.

but yeah so disappointing. she could have just sent a message and said this will be the last message, im blocking you after this, but SORRY SORRY SORRY, i didnt mean to hurt you. and that would have saved a decent amount of pain.

ITS REALLY NOT THAT HARD. it seems like it would be HARDER to do what shes actually doing. i mean the guilt would eat me alive.

but she is good at avoiding confrontation. yeah i keep forgetting she does have a red flag that she is able to just throw away her responsibilities and run away in shameful ways. its sad cuz she can do better. but stupid when you are on the receiving end of that.

i say she has nothign but yellow flags but this one might be a red. not going to go into detail here hahaha.

0202

gotta when you get up in the morning say: i definitely did not deserve this. i did not do something horribly wrong. they have made an EGREGIOUS error in judgment. they got me wrong, and they did me wrong. it was a horrible misunderstanding that will NEVER be resolved.

just dont like poeple being WRONG about me.

also i dont know if she felt betrayed by me, or she just wanted to GET RID of me. maybe she does feel bad. she is not a horrible person, but when she is forced to make a difficult choice, she has a tendency to break down and NOT do the right thing. a good person who makes horrible, regrettable choices. it really is kinda tragic but i cant save her from herself. unless she lets me. which she wont. hahahaha. ok have fun either having mud bastards, or becoming a crazy old catlady. and if you have a kid you will prob not be good mother hahahaha.

she has the potential to be a good mother, but also the potential to be a bad mother. its hard to tell. she might decide its too HARD to be a good mother and then just neglect her children and emotionally abandon them. is that the kind of woman i want to be married to, having my children? FOOK NO!!!!!

its similar to a woman having an ABORTION. its a convenient, expedient, super effective, but very morally ambiguous (and i would say, very immoral!!) “Solution” to a “problem”.  and probably the woman doesnt feel HAPPY about it, might even feel long term guilt or conflict about it, and they arent angry or hateful or feel BETRAYED by the baby theyre killing.

but yeah if you can just GET RID OF a PERSON, its kinda like KILLING them! except here, you’re still alive!

its weird being metaphorically KILLED by somebody important to you! it sends the message that your LIFE isnt very important to them. at least not more important than their feelings of discomfort.

she has the capacity to do the right thing and be a good person…..but when it comes time to make some real important decisions…..she CHOKES and does NOT rise to the occasion.

i mean i am the same way. i know how to be a good person but its so HARD, and i have made bad decisions just because i was too WEAK to do the right thing.

i dunno you could still send a messenger to say to me, she doesnt mean to metaphorically KILL you. she feels real bad about this and wants the best for you. even THAT would be a step up.

RELATIONSHIP BILL OF RIGHTS AND RESPONSIBILITIES

  1.  I have the right to be not thrown away like a piece of garbage when you decide to get out of this rel.
  2. You have the responsibility to not throw me like a piece of garbage when you decide to get out of this rel.

hahahahahahahah ayyyyyyy lmao.

i mean just show a little Respect for the Dignity of Human Life.

Dont Throw PEOPLE away like GARBAGE.

dont date / have secs with more than one person at a time.

this is all very r-selected behavior. we HAVE to be better than that. I want to be better than that, and my topkek m8 also wants to be better than that. choose k-selection. dont be like CRAB PEOPLE. crabs in a bucket. rat race. no. each of those squirming rats are special and have dignity. treat them as such.

also if youve known someone for 3 years, then its even WORSE if you throw them away like garbage.

this is very different than a mutual drift away, where BOTH people dont want to put too much effort into the rel.

but appreciate that this person you knew for 3 years has feelings and their feelings will be DEVASTATED if you do this to them. and then make an effort not to do that to them.

so next time some catlady dyke bitch gives you shit about ENTITLEMENT, show her the Relationships Bill Of Rights And Responsibilities, and say, and say something like, is it ENTITLEMENT to have a REASONABLE EXPECTATION that the person will not treat you like a piece of garbage?

is it ENTITLEMENT to think you deserve not to be Abused?

is it ENTITLEMENT to think you deserve to be Communicated With?

really the feminist antimale cat lady is just the Jury Of Women in my Head. the internal self critic. saying you dont deserve this and youre not entitled to this, but you DO deserve to be thrown away like garbage, because you were a horrible person to her.

went to shrink today, shrink agrees that i am not a horrible person, but shoeld have discussed that a bit more hahahaha.

how is it SO HARD for me to CONVINCE myself that i did not deserve this?

well because that woman and her opinion of me was important to me!

but yeah. she REALLY could have done a LOT better. how disappointing.

so….what do CHEATERS deserve? what do ABUSERS deserve?

this is the kind of shit i obsess over. even though i never cheated and i damn sure never abused.

well abuse is probably worse than cheating.

and abandonment/ghosting/throwing you away like a piece of garbage is…..better than cheating? worse than cheating? its probably better than ABUSE. idunno. its seems really neck and neck with cheating! at least cheaters usually pretend to show remorse and beg im sorrrrrrrry baby ill never do it again! and then they do it again.

what about abortion? where does that go on the bad things scale. worse than abuse? worse than cheating?

well i would THINK its worse than abuse, its damn killing a baby!!!!!! hahahahaah

now the jury of women says: but thats oversimplifying, and as a man, i have no place to talk. its just a nonsentient clump of cells at this point AND its a very humane compassionate choice, to spare the future child a life of hardship.

if you talk about “AGENCY” that is a DOGWHISTLE that you a shitlord racist hahahaha. because that means you are Punching Down on Oppressed Groups by Blaming the Victim, and by IMplying that Oppressed Groups had Agency in preventing or doing something about their Oppression.

Because Agency is defined according to the people in power (cis white men hahahaha) , Cis White Men Oppress Oppressed groups by taking AWAY their agency! so to say they still HAVE agency is denying that white men are oppressing them!

redacted

gr8 thread. beta autist 19 yo young man on my racistforum has a date with a Chubby Guatemalan and the talk gets REALLY real.