wanted to quickly say that night before last i had a dream with THAT WOMAN. it sounds worse than it actually was.
also yes I got alot out of her, but I didn’t ASK a lot of her, if that makes sense. I didn’t EXPECT her to luv me back. I only expected her to show me some kindness and effort and talk to me and hang out with me. She didnt have to make a huge effort for me to get energy and a “FIX” from her. She just had to talk to me and be generally nice to me and sometimes hang out with me.
In other words I was not Leaning on her like a crutch and making unreasonable demands from her to halp me with muh derpression. like some people are simply intolerable to their boifrans and their excuse is they have derpression. no i dont do that at all to other people. I see it as my problem to deal with. my cross to bear. i dont push that burden on anyone else. partly because i dont think anybody would understand. partly because thats like Emotional Blackmail. I’m thinking of women who are Bitches to their Doting Husbands. Yeah well I wasn’t bitchy in that way to her, other than begging her to hang out with me. and she wasn’t doting to me at all. she wouldnt even hang out with me.
but yeah she wasn’t really The Bad Guy either, I can understand why she was a coward. I am just concerned about her viewing me as the bad guy. I was awkward and stupid but I wasnt the bad guy.
i wasnt the bad guy, she wasnt the bad guy, but i think she was More At Fault for the shitty situation hahahahaha.
yesterday went for walk in afternoon and mind was RACING. much like it was when i was at previous job. racing and worrying about the job. is this going to be a feature of EVERY job? it wasnt on my previous previous job. i NEVER WORRIED about that job. i could go in, come out, and never think about it. I could do other things in Life, like hang out with friends, even take some College Classes. no way could I do that with the job I would go to next. which I never would have got if I hadn’t become Close Friends with HER hahahaha. in other words I wish I never met her. she was a Net Loss on my life hahaha. she brought a lot of good at the time……but even MORE bad in the end.
i might be mre willing to do Split Shifts if some of them didnt start at 3 am. and if the place were a little bit closer.
but now i sound like a weak whiner and n199er who is afraid of work! workophobia! real jobs SUCK! get used to it or be a loser the rest of your life!
well not ALL the shifts would be split….would they? these managers seemed OK. but it was hard to say.
elvis worked as a machine operator, truck driver, and was studying to become an electrician. all before the age of 20. but music was his first passion hahahaha. i am watching stupid tv shows about elvis. i am not a huge elvis fan, but I find the stories of peoples lives interesting. plus he was a white redneck. my kind of person. white redneck playing “negermusik” and probably fooking black bitches hahahahaha. and becoming a bloated pill popping degenerate hahaha.
if the music has drums, its degenerate negermusik! hahahahahaha
but i dont think he was a huge partier when he was young. and his degeneracy is minor compared to average celebrities.
well he cheated on his wife a lot and apparently was into Pills from a fairly young age. Speed, Barbiturates, Quaaludes, Painkillers, Tranquilizers, Benzos.
but he was very generous to his family and friends. buying them houses and cars.
anyway the dream about that woman. I was with her and I was getting angry, yelling at her, HEY STOP. LISTEN TO ME. DONT WALK AWAY. GIVE ME 2 MINUTES. WE NEED TO TALK NOW. I HAVE SOMETHING IMPORTANT TO TELL YOU, AND YOU NEED TO LISTEN. YOU SHOULD CARE ABOUT THIS. IT INVOLVES YOU. ITS VERY RELEVANT.
so I was getting mad at her, I was shouting this at her as she was walking away. HEY. DONT LEAVE. LISTEN TO ME! Then she rolled her eyes and stayed, although it was clear she was mad at me and thought I was the bad guy. that I was unreasonable.
Also another part where she was with a female friend of hers (fictional person) and I started raging misogynistically against the other woman, saying you slut, you whore, how many guys you fooked, how many abortions you had, and looked like a raging misogynist in front of my female friend.
another scene where me and that woman were listening to an anti-abortion speaker, who was raging about the horrific evil and cruelty of abortion, of chopping up the innocent infant in the womb, and that woman was getting emotional and upset, and I touched her hand and said there there sweetie, itll be ok, i am here to comfort you.
so that was about it. not sure if the dream is teaching me anything. except that I am a woman hater and that I was the bad guy for wanting to talk to her hahahaha. great lesson. well how do i stop being a woman hater? just stop hating women. hehe. i dont even deal with any women. I just have contempt for women in general. but individually, I can appreciate individual women once I get to sort of know them even a little bit, like work with them or see them as an actual person.
so uhhhhh if i get a job with women or make women friends I will stop hating women so much? probably.
i didnt hate the women i used to work with. even if they were cheating whores. i got along with mostly everyone. certainly i had no interest in becoming Friends with them if they were cheating whores. but I automatically respected anyone who worked at my job, just for being in the same hell as I was and coming back day after day and sucking it up.
ayo mcdonalds workers. want 15 dollars an hour? get a job as a PSE at the post office. if I have a chance, anybody has a chance. you might not even need high school. i mean you dont need high school or college anyway, just these f4ggots demand it.
the pse job pays 15-16 an hour.
may 27 1:35 pm: made muh first donation to MILLENNIAL WOES. 5 fookin dollas. this is nothing. I should have done this YEARS ago. I should be a regular supporter and giving him money every month. But I had to finally donate SOMETHING to this guy who has enriched my life and the lives of so many. Need to get some skin in the game. Good shit like him SHOULDN’T BE free. I SHOULD be donating to him.
Note to Millennial Woes
Keep up the great, important work my lad !!!!!! I would donate more but muh neetism. I should have donated a long time ago but lazy. Will donate more when I resolve my own issues, haha. Don’t stress yourself out! If you want to do a website, IMHO a very important part would be a FORUM where people could qualitypost and especially arrange real life meatspace meetups, somewhat like TRS forum. I bet people in the UK and beyond would be willing to arrange transportation for you to distant locales. Also I would totally buy T-shirts, although I know a bathrobe would be more appropriate. Skype and hangouts are great, but I think real-life meetups are even better. Also I would love for you to find a nice woman and have some mini-Woeses someday!!!!!! If this d’nation features my real name, please don’t go doxing me all over the internet, hahahaha. Hopefully I will be able to donate more soon. You are doing GOD’S WORK!!
hahahahahah PAT MUH SELF ON THE BACK FOR BEING SO SELFLESS AND ALTRUISTIC hahaha
DO A VERY SMALL GOOD DEED AND THEN TELL THE WHOLE WORLD ABOUT IT.
OHHHHH IM SO GOOOD AND KIND AND MORAL.
BEATING MUH CHEST AND SAYING I AM SO GENEROUS FOR GIVING 5 DOLLARS TO THE NEET PHILOSOPHER.
I havent even watched a MW video in months. I don’t think he is 1488 enough hahahaha. But I feel an emotional connection with him. he is a kindred spirit. who knows. maybe he is 1488 enough. He definitely cares about the white race I think. THat’s good enough for me. A white who cares about other whites. Good enough to get 5 dollars out of me. Not even enough to buy 1 pack of cigarettes hahahaha. I should have told him to do roll your own cigarettes, that could maximize donation money hahaha. i am entitled to give him advice and suggestions because now I’m a SUPPORTING MEMBER with my GENEROUS dnation hahaha.
oh shit I should have also told him to look at muh blog hahahaha.
technically I donated more to TRS hahaha. I donated like 6.75 to them. oy vey. well I will make another 5 dollar donation to MW in the next…….7 months hahahaha.
well i can say I am not nearly as PLAGUED with CONSTANT and STRONG thoughts like I NEED to CONTACT her. I still feel great pain, but remember, a LOT of that pain is coming from my job/life situation too. and at least I have NOT felt the urge to contact her. it took 9.5 months of No Contact but I got there. that is prob my biggest gain. I am signif less tempted to contact her.
I wish she would contact ME tho!
because I still want her. will take at least another 9 months to get over THAT i think.
took .75 of a nyquil dose yseterday and spent 12 hours in bed hahahaha.
heh. whenever I see an attractive young woman, espec under the age of 20, when they are super young and at Peak Hawtness, my first thought is, that fookin little wh0re, i wonder how many cox shes fooked, the little slut, so promiscuous. this is not a good thing to think about white gurls.
shit I mean there are enough arab and albanian gurls that I can get out all my women hate on them. its ok for them to be sluts. well. assuming they get abortions. which they probably wont. not that abortion still isnt barbaric.
i dunno. i dont like being a woman hater, but I can’t shut off the instinctual disgust towards women. like you dirty sluts. you have such a powerful important gift from GOD and then you defile yourselves and show no appreciation for human life.
im against abortion because its harmful.
im against promiscuity because its HARMFUL. at the very least it severely hurts the feeeeelings of the incel crybaby beta bitchboi, when you lose interest in him and replace him with another chad on the carousel. its HURTFUL, it makes him feel really small and expendable. no one deserves to feel like that.
that nazi gurl evalion was shut down from youtube. she is really qt and she knows it and she loved the attention, and I don’t like gurls like this, and hitler cupcakes are just ridiculous, but it’s possible she made some very persuasive and powerful vidyas. I didnt watch any bc qt young gurls are too triggering for me. thats how much I hate women. when I see a qt young woman saying good nationalist pro-white things, I automatically think the worst. not OH GOOD! another woke ass white person. like when I see muh boys at TRS or such. I see a young woman and automatically get TRIGGERED.
but yeah it is true that women in This Particular Movement are a little weird. not necess an infiltrator, but just bandwagon jumpers and attention seekers.
but they are saying good things! if you blocked out her pretty body and face and just listened to her words, you would probably agree, yes right on. preach.
but thats just how TRIGGERED i get by qt young women. I see her and think DAMN I have never been with a woman that attractive. I haven’t Cuddled with a Young Woman in 11 years hahahaha. I am a total INCEL hahaha.
maybe thats why i hate pretty young women. they remind me it has been 11 years since i even touched a woman. and she was a damn k1ke hahahah and a slut. I don’t hate her though. I just wish it were a nice white gurl, or that there had ever been a nice white gurl in the 11 years since, and that recently i fell in luv with a nice white gurl who I was closer to than any other woman, and it ended in the worst way than it had with any woman ever. hahaha. cool story bro.
ok going to go walk outside and listen to nile and 1488 dadcast hahaha.
neets and incels hahahaha.
yeah when you have no female friends you get really insecure about women, like I am so weird and women are so weird too.
well i know a couple women who are generally nice to me. they dont think im too weird. i see them once a week at my social thing. except we are not close though. they are both practically married and good for them since i am not particularly attracted to either one. i know i said the same thing about That Woman but…..yeah. these women are just not even CONCEIVABLY attractive to me, even if I WERENT hung up on somebody. When I first me That Woman, I said, yeah she’s fairly cute, I SHOULD BE more attracted to her, but I am too hung up on this other gurl. In no way am I close to saying I SHOULD BE more attracted to these other women I am acquainted with. i just cant say that. they are way less attractive than her.
maybe my problem is I only go after ATTRACTIVE women. thats kind of LOOKIST isnt it?
i mean I am not super attractive!
but I like girls that are “ugly pretty” or kind of weird looking. This was easier to understand when I was younger. Now that I am old, young IS pretty, with no bullshit artificial qualifiers like “ugly pretty.”
anyway i am less mad at other women who dumped me because….we didnt really HAVE anything there. they barely knew me and I barely knew them. I was foolish and naive to get feelings so FAST, even if they were sluts for giving it up so fast.
this was different. when you know someone for 2.7 years, how can you just replace them, delete them so easily? you CANT. its a lot easier when you have only “known” the person for 3 months.
so yeah. thats muh beef. thats why im so butthurt. beause you just dont do this with someone youve really KNOWN for a LONG TIME.
love and friendship. what is this, whit stillman bringing back chloe sevingny and kate beckinsale who he did “the last days of disco” with. looks like it. A few years ago I would have gone to the movie theatre to see this. i mean I still should. chloe still looks good and whit is a good filmmaker. i was just more into him a few years ago. there is very few things I will go to a movie theatre for. Although I SHOULD go to the Budget Theatre. just get blazed and go there. I used to go all the time. Not getting blazed however (though I should have.)
If Lars von Trier makes a nondegenerate movie I will go to the art theatre to see that. I saw Antichrist and Melancholia in the theatre but I did not go see nymphomaniac, I was starting to get really anti-degenerate by that time, and didn’t see why LVT had to go so far. well because thats what he DOES. he has a degen streak a MILE wide. kinda like gaspar noe. i mean a nondegen filmmaker is hard to find, but those guys are just extreme.
i still think of myself as a Movie Buff even though I haven’t even WATCHED a movie in a year, and haven’t gone to the movie theatre in like two or three years. but around 2010, 2011, I was going to the movie theatre 2 times a WEEK. just see shitty movies just to DO something. it was something to DO.
well I guess now I am more diligent about Exercising, and that is BETTER than watching some degen shitty MOVIE.
heh. 461 calories under muh goal and I am STARVING. Had a big dinner, got right up to muh calorie goal, went for nice walk, burned 407 calories, now I am 461 and STARVING. about to go to bed. I guess it’s good to go to bed hungry. hahahaha.
reading all the negative reviews on glassdoor about post office jobs hahahaha. definitely more negative than positive hahaha. stories of people who worked 360 days straight hahahaha. going months without a day off, being constantly Harrassed by managers for not working efficiently enough….even though you really cant work faster.
well i have some people in my family who work at the PO and they are very nice people. one I think is career and the other is probably PSE or casual. whats the difference?
heh. maybe I shouldnt have gone so whole hog with the post office. the reviews are generally negative. really negative. for pse’s. which is what I would be doing. either a pse cca or a pse mpc. mail processing clerk.