oct 31 thurs, 8.21pm

well i have an afternoon shift, lemme just tell ya it has been DEAD since about 6:30 pm, jeezum crow. This is about 90000000000000000000000000000000000 more chill than when I usually underwork in the morning: 90000000 more customers, noise, AND micromgt. here, I am king of the castle, but feel I should be getting paid less. heh. or get paid MORE for the morning. SUCH a difference. ORDERS OF MAGNITUDE. just wanted to officially state that.

also wanted to officially state that as of OCt 2013 I think I am up 2000 chips on pokerstars. Because: they start you out with 2000 chips. I lost that pretty fast, like in 1 day, not used to their tables, prob went to a higher stakes table and was fast and loose just to see what would happen when you run out of chips. Would you have to pay cash to buy play chips? No, as soon as you lose it all, they just give you 2000 more, for free, like they SHOULD.

So now I just combine the two and say they started me out with 4000 chips, this just makes sense. and I turned that 4000 into 6000, playing only at the bottom of the barrel tables: 1&2 blinds, and 200 buy in MAXIMUM. You cannot bring more than 200 chips to the table!!!

So, 2000 “dollar”  “profit” in something like 3 weeks. 21 days. Kinda close to muh $100 a day rule. NOT BAD, UH???? playing against real people, and not getting any “bonus chips” from the house, not that the moron real players need any push to Start Betting.

* Protip: Go on the internet and see if you can find any local meetups for people who play The Nerdiest Games in the World, like Dungeons and Dragons or The Settlers Of Catan. Then meet up with them, bring a case of semifancy beer or booze, and boom, instant social life for you. The women, if there are any, and 90% chance there won’t be, will be so ugly you couldn’t even do them doggystyle, but we gotta Move The Goalposts for this one, Manage Expectations, and let me tell you the objective with THIS protip was NEVER to meet women, but to just go from Friendless Neet to Nonneet with a Social Life and Male (Dork) Friends. You want to meet women, then just start lifting and acting like an Alpha. Be Masculine.

*Use “MOVE THE GOALPOSTS” in your next Job Interview, o god that’s a great faggy buzzword. Just GET OUT IN FRONT OF IT and MOVE THE GOALPOSTS. PLEASE ADVISE.

* Get a Hotel Room by yourself for the night and DO MUSHROOMS. That might give you a different perspective on life, Reset Your Brain. Warning: if you are taking SSRI’s, this might flood your brain with Too Much Serotinin and You will DIE. So don’t do that. Do Cold Turkey off SSRIs beforehand, get those out of your system, and maybe do some Hillbilly Heroin with the Mushrooms just so you’re more chilled out going into it. Warning: Don’t Do Drugs. This is just for hypothetical, fictional purposes only.

* Or just get a hotel room for the night and tell some 26yo nonhooker that you’ll pay her to make a pr0n with you, then do it, comfortable with the fact that she’s not an official hooker and might look better than such, unless you have a decent hooker selection in your area. And then do her doggystyle, reverse cowgirl, and seated reverse cowgirl, but do NOT let her SOYF unless she passes the HNNNGGGGG test.

* Get a Rain Slicker or Poncho that you can wear while Walking In the Rain, it prob won’t get destroyed as easily as an umbrella on a windy day.

nov 3 sun

compelled to write today because of dream had last night starring Girl 4. First Fell in True Marriage Babbies Family Lifelong Monogamous Luv with Girl 4 in 2005, 8 years ago, I was young then, not old. The dream was basically just me Cuddling with her, I don’t even think there was Making OUt. Just straight cuddling, and her smiling and being happy to cuddle with me. This was notable because she was a total Cold Fish, suspected virgin, asexual, possible dyke if anything, qualities that surfaced again in Girl 7. But I prob liked Girl 4 a teensy bit better, in some ways, maybe she was my favourite girl ever. Anyway point is, she didn’t go around cuddling with dudes, with anyone, so for her to do this dream cuddling with me was a real big deal.

I felt like the worlds happiest alpha, this was the #1 thing I wanted out of life, and now that I had it/her, I could start living, dominating and succeeding in career, life, etc, with her by muh side.

Then for part 2 of the dream, I had a real busy long day, but it was ok, because I knew I was going to see her at the end of it all and we would cuddle again. No sitting on muh face, no reverse cowgirl, no doggystyle, just straight virgin cuddling.

This is how you know you’re in true luv with a grill – cuddling with her is more fun than banging some rando.

I think near the end The Seed Of Doubt started to creep in, like: when’s this gonna end? when’s the sh1t gonna hit the fan? when’s she gonna dump me? when’s the day gonna come that I DON’T have her to come home to and cuddle with at the end of a long day? I think it might be coming sooner than I’d like, I worry I like her more than she likes me, etc.

I don’t recall that I did get to cuddle with her a second time in the dream, I just woke up.

So when you have a dream like that, it brings the grill back to life after 8 years. (Although to be fair, I was prob still semi in love w her throughout 2006 as well, and only 2007 that the luv started to fade.

So that was kinda weird, esp when Girl 7 was the most recent Girl, and I haven’t felt that “Lovin Feelin” since Girl 7 “dumped” me (hehehehe) in Oct 2012, over a year ago. Now I just want to bang grills. 18yos, 21 yos, and now 26 yos. bang bang bang, no respect or liking or luv or cuddling.. just being a decadent filthy animal. this bothers me a little and not a lot, but you’re damn right I would much prefer to have a grill like girl 4 or girl 7, and damned if you can’t get reminded of that every once in a while through a Poignant Dream. Thankfully does not happen more than once every couple months tho, thank GOD.

anyway I screwed it up with Girl 4 because I was a loser who drank too much and didn’t have a Career Plan; I screwed it up with Girl 7 because I was an OLD loser with no career plan even though I had quit drinking by then.  And I was not MASCULINE or Alpha enough with either of them. Lessons Learned!



tues oct 15th

If you are being Micromanaged at your Underjob and don’t appreciate it, all the more because you do a ridiculously good job, then write a brief story about it you can tell in an interview later. But specifically go out of your way to say that none of your previous employers did this, because you can’t speak poorly of prev employers. just say, hypoethetically, this is an example of poor management, and here’s what i would do instead. Because I’m a LEADER not a MANAGER. I don’t just do things right, I Do The Right Thing. I Inspire by Example.

Drink Tea / Iced Tea throughout the day instead of coffee all day if you have to stay up for like 36 hours straight to get all your werk done. Coffee is fine at the beginning and middle of the day, but too much too fast will dehydrate you and make you poop your pants. So have two coffee breaks, and rest of the day, drink strong tea.

If you don’t have time to use a Cigarette Machine to make Cigarettes, just buy Roll Your Own and Roll Each Cigarette as you “need” them. Like I’ve been too lazy to sit down and use the machine to make 20 cigs, but I would be willing to ROLL a cig, if I had some Papers.

Note: do NOT buy Zig Zag papers, because they turn brown easily and always look like you’re smokign a Huge Joint. It looks SO Bad.

Buy a bag of Bugler Tobacco, or even better, a huge bag of Pipe Tobacco, and just roll that.

This is all assuming you don’t smoke a LOT. For example, I am lucky to smoke 1 pack per week. less than 3 cigs per day. Usually just one.

Find your local friendly pawn shop and/or gold shop, and start out buying some SILVER there. Silver is like the Poor Man’s Gold. Be sure you check the Market Price before you get there. Right now the price was about $21 an ounce. So go and buy an ounce and see how much it is worth in a year. I remember around 2 years ago when silver was like $15 an ounce. Now it’s $22. Not Bad, uh???? Imagine if I had bought 10 ounces back then! 16 Ounces!

wed 16th

WOW, got home at 1 am, woke up at 453 am, in at 7am, now 752 am. DEF could not do this more than once every….3 weeks? 2 weeks? Anyway I showed largesse by doing a social call, the LESSON LEARNED, and there’s almost always a LESSON LEARNED, that’s the whole reason I tell STORIES, is that

* You should try to sacrifice your Sleep once in a while to Hang Out with your Friends especially if they are doing a fun event. Just to show you care. I was making a tradeoff of sacrificing a regular and beloved Social Event, because of Time Sched Changes, basically, wanting to get proper sleep for getting up Super Early in the AM. Super Early, like earlier than average even for normalfg successfuls with upper working class careerjobs.


10 pm should not be up so late but had to do a min quota of hw, and it’s still 3 hours earlier than last night. HAD to lay down to check my nap having privilege today. Said I would do for 2 hours but knew full well it would be longer. ended up being 3 or 4 hours, not suprising. wasted a bunch of time listening to lifelover and joy division and playing around with the long awaited new version of f.lux: darkroom settings, “ember” brightness at night, really quite friendly on the eyes, even set it to slightly dimmer for during the day, with the hypoth that the comp screen is Just Too Damn Bright Even During The Day.

Lifelover is real kewl, and great for us Emo Feelz Types. Wish they coulda lasted longer. You might think they’re corny but I still find them very honest. Honest Angst here. Anger, Hatred, Sadness, all wrapped up in catchy melodies and painful vocals. Dark haunting bits as well. One of a kind sound, even if all their songs sound The Same, it’s a good sound, hehehe. Would have liked to see them years from now, but the guy died at age 25 or so. pretty simple concept, amazing no one else did it sooner. what is a good “lifelover ripoff band” that can continue that sorta thing. I think you COULD “rip them off” in a respectful way and add new things to that sound. so much potential. Dark Metal combined with Dark Pop essentially. struggle to find the perfect production though. real hard to do programmed drums and make them sound good. prefer the live drums on “dekadens.”

Use f.lux to protect your eyes from the bright computer screen.

new shoes are breaking in ok, might take 2 weeks or more for full break in.

Go to Youtube , type in leadership, and watch vidyas by leadership gurus talking about leadership. Leadership is the same thing as “Management” but uses different BS Buzzwords, and ATM IMHO the Leadership Buzzwords will work better in an Interview than Management Buzzwords. Sounds more Emotionally Intelligent for Today’s Sensitive Managers. Unless you’re interview for a Manager Job, then maybe use a combination of Management AND Leadership Buzzwords. But if you’re a Loser reading this blog, then f00k no, you’re not gonna be managing anybody, you are competing for a spot at the bottom of the barrel.

Buy a little Wahl trimmer so you can trim the annoying hair by your ears that starts to look real bad after a few months.

Again, I cannot emphasize enough, DO NOT BUY WHITE T-SHIRTS. When you’re in the socks and underwear aisle reaching for a pack of 3 white tshirts, JUST SAY NO, and look directly to the left or right, and buy the Black or Grey ones instead. Pref Grey. Because after like one washing, the white shirt will look all yellow and shabby, like you never shower or wash your clothes, and will be immediately obvious underneath your dress shirt.  White shirts looks dirty even when they’re clean.

Now, it might look unprofessional to wear a black tshirt under a white dress shirt, if you’re an Investment Banker who always needs to look his best. But, more than likely, that’s not you, and you can get away with wearing a nonwhite tshirt under your Work Shirt. This is an improvement even if you’re just a loser working at mcdonalds or ralphs. Although they might have a strict dress code against that.

fri oct 18th

ok done prepping muh series of 4 shorter posts. u should be seeing this on oct 24th. here are a few last minute protips. You can come up with new, useful Protips Erry Day. Erry Day should be a neverending stream of protips and lifehacks and cheat codes on how to win at life.  good idea after good idea.

Protip: go into spotify and into your starred list of 3000 songs. then order them by DATE ADDED and copy the songs from the past THREE MONTHS to a new list, and then play THAT new list on Random Shuffle. This will give you like a greatest hits of the past 3 months.

HOWEVER, it’s not fool proof. I GUESS an alternate approach would be to make a similar list from your History from the Past 3 months. Because if what if during the past 3 months you listened to a lot of nonstarred songs, OR songs that were starred longer than 3 months ago! Note: HISTORY is under “PLAY QUEUE.” Spotify really needs to HIRE ME to make them better. That’s my VALUE ADD.