nov 3

welp did interview for PT, 11 dollars an hour job. went ok. lasted 1 hour. i was not super nervous. still stumbled on some questions and tried to bullshit some bullshit. even though i personally think education is a bunch of bullshit, i just like the idea of working at this school. everyone was nice. the woman there, i had known her from 3 years ago when i used to say hello to her and chit chat, she was very nice to me and i was very nice to her. did not expect to see her today, wasnt sure she still worked in this department. the Director is a Big Confident Guy with beautiful white family, working on a PhD right now, he is very big on Education, that kind of shit. i am very big on pulling your kids out of public schools and homeschooling them away from the brown hordes and FEDGOV bullshit. maybe he doesnt like FEDGOV bullshit either and wants to FIX things by being PART of the school board. he worked for x years in Horrible Black Public Schools and i tip my fedora to that. I would not survive a day in that jungle. but i dont think the experience made him a White Nationalist Red Pilled on Race at all, rather, hes doubled down on All Children can succeed with a good Education. and he’s not gonna change his mind because he’s worked hard, had a successful career, has a beautiful family, seems like a genuinely decent guy, has a masterz degree, and in a few years will have a phd.

i mean i have a probably better than average chance of getting this job because i know two, technically 3 people in the department. but i have been rejected for 3 diff PT jobs by this org before, even though i worked at the org for 5 years 3 years ago. so…..again i am no stranger to getting rejected for 11 an hour PT jobs from a place i previous worked.

had a dream where i started making out with this very qt gurl i used to work with at that same job. now she got married and i was never friends with her, but she was always very nice to everybody, very bubbly and nice and pleasant, and very very qt. she Connected with me on Linkedin like 6 months ago and i was like damn she is a nice gurl, good wife and mother material there, that guy got a CATCH. and straight up 8/10 qt hahahahaha. way out of my league. way out of his league. anyway if she were interested in me i would forget about That Woman forever hehehehe. she has a successful career now (the qt gurl) and i am not resentful about it.

yeah i would have enjoyed making out with her, cuddling, secs, dating. i didnt really try with her because a. i didnt work with her that much b. i knew right away she had a BF. the guy she ended up marrying.

was at weekly social thing yesterday and saw a VERY attractive young woman, another total 8. long legs, nice white skin, long brownish hair, pretty face, just the right amount of Meat on the Hips/Buttocks area, good good. i wonder what her BMI is. because SOME women might be self-conscious about being FAT, and then other degenerates would be like BBW The Fatter The Better, but she just looked Healthy and Fertile AF to me. child bearing hips. definitely not anorexic. just the ideal normal young woman body. not fat but not overly skinny. not fat but a little soft in all the right areas. not in a fetishist way. but in a NORMAL way. i could not stop looking at her. if a gurl like THAT were interested in me, i would be OVER That Woman right NOW. yesterday.

yes of course this new woman was objectively more attractive than That Woman.

but yeah, point is, there ARE still attractive young women out there who, if i were spending time with them and they were being nice to me, i could see myself Getting Over THAT woman.

but these women are SO attractive as to be WAY out of my league. like i say. 25 year old full blown 8’s hahahaha. whereas i am more a 6.8 type guy.

and That Woman was probably closer to a 6.8 than a 8? really? the midpoint is 7.4.

i mean in that 6,7,8 range, you really DO need to drill it down like that.  that is a LOT of ground to cover, a LOT of variation, that is WAY more noticeable than like 1 to 1.1 haha.

anyway, getting this job would be fine, because everyone seems nice and i know a couple people there. i wouldnt want to get COMPLACENT though. because you need an FT job, not some damn 25 hours a week, 11 an hour, 275 a week,  13.7k a year job. sheeeeeeeeeeeeit. aint nobody can live off that!

but muh anxiety and mental and emotional health are always a damn problem, im practically damn disabled hahaha. should really see a professional about that hahahaha.

maybe i need to get a new shrink hahahahahahaha.

see i like my shrink very much. but the actual progress could be a little better haha.

i know people who are REALLY SERIOUS about managing their Issues go through like 10, 14 shrinks before they find the right one, not just stick with the first one.  so maybe thats my problem.

heh my problem is that i dont want to go back to school hahahaha.

bbbbut i already have 18 years of education.

but if its not enough of not the right KIND, then i obviously need to go back and get more!

well i guess its good that what i want to do is very exact: help under-40 white men with despair, anxiety, neet, shyness, autismal, failure, rejection, alcohol, MJ, nevergf, virgins, rels. period. no blacks, no browns, no borderline, no sociopaths, no schizo, maybe flexible on bipolar, no nonnevergfs.

and thing is, masters degrees are ridiculously specific too. like speech language therapist, or IT Business Analyst, or Black Social Work, or Charter High School Librarian, or basically masters degrees are tailored to very specific jobs. and my concern is there are just not a lot of JOBS in what i want to do, to help that small ass market. there are way more social work jobs for the more shitty kind of social work. plus social work is pretty stressful too eh hahahaha.

i shouldnt crap on these female MSW’s, ive gotten better i swear. they work hard, theyre not idiots, and if they are horrible sluts in their personal life, they probably try to do as little damage as possible. have decent empathy hahaha. dont just murder hearts in cold blood hahaha.

but to have the county send you all its worst black juvenile delinquents, god damn. i would not want that. or people who get neglected and abused by their damn shitty families. i only want to help shitty people from GOOD families hahahaha.

basically i would have to do some revolutionary marketing and appeal to people that are Too Stubborn to Get Therapy. AND be able to make it affordable for them.

well i guess having a generous Sliding Scale is a must.

Again I am willing to be an unlicensed therapist for 12 dollars an hour, noting that i am just giving it my best effort and trying to handle shit above my pay grade hahahaha.

constantly handling shit above your pay grade without help and without error IS your job hahahaha.

yeah ok i would be happy to get this 13k a year job hahaha. because i could see myself not going mad. plus it would position me to have a better chance at getting ANY job, for the phaggots that are very gapist, and who are rejecting me mainly because of The Gap.

Listen. Heres the thing. I would probably be pretty GOOD in a relship if the woman gave me a fair CHANCE. if she was willing to COMMUNICATE. USE YOUR WORDS, like a GROWN UP. doesnt have to be a conversation. can be an exchange of letters. i know its easy to get NERVOUS and not communicate very well sometimes. so write a letter in the safety of your own comfort zone where i cant gaslight and minimize and abuse you and make you feeeeeeeeeel weird. thats FINE.

then i would talk to this one guy and see if he can get me an MJ order. if so, I will be ecstatic and put in a 100 dollar order. go big. if not…….i guess i will continue scheming to get a medical card. go to this “clinic” and complain of carpal tunnel pain and say hey doc, i’m MORE THAN WILLING to meet with you again in 1 month, 3 months, to establish a bona fide doctor patient relship here. i’ll just come see you again in 3 months, say i have the same arm pain, and you can give me a rec then. i can wait 3 months. i’ll pay for a second visit, even a THIRD visit.

then try to be the best employee ever, learning so much, showing so much initiative, buying treats for everyone, shit i’ll make cookies if i have to. be like hey boss i was reading the journal of blabla the other day and it said this, or did you see this ted talk by cheryl sandberg, can I capture your thoughts on that.

i mean it was a quiet office, the phone wasnt ringing off the hook, yeah i would like to have this job! its super close, took less than 10 minutes to drive there. wasnt a call center, people are nice.

i mean honestly. i was able to handle an insane working environment for a FULL YEAR. 40+ hours a week of torture in the sense of constant panic and dread and fear and anxiety. and i improved and earned respect and eventually became a Good, Reliable, Trusted person. Top 40% material hahahaha.

i cannot forget that it was not the job alone that pushed me over the edge, but the COMBINATION of BOTH the job AND the woman. AND if things had worked out better with the woman, things PROBABLY would have worked out better with the job. and now im afraid all jobs will be that bad. well they CANT be, even a shitty call center would be better because That Woman wouldnt be there!

world series. who gives a fook. normies making 50k a year, with families and kids, thats who.

heh. millennial woes really needs to do a road trip rather than just visit west and east coast. i mean dnations have already paid for this whole thing. thats fine. just get in a car and see some of White Middle America. it might leave him a little more optimistic is all. all of us is not like cali or NY or DC!!!!!

also he needed to spend a few days in LA and not just go right to San fran. although i guess san fran is full of asians, but they are all tech asians making 300k a year and not being violent.

weev does a lot of good posting on MPC

i donate .14 euros to weev per week hahahaha. this has accumulated over several months to where it can be said that i have indeed bought weev a hearty meal hehehehe.

i mean i dont like how he makes hacking sound so EASY. oh just pick up a book on python or C. I have spent…6 hours a week, 26 weeks, 156 hours at least doing C++, and i dont feel it really GOT me anywhere. I’m like, this si fooking POINTLESS, its not gonna help me make 12 dollars an hour, you need to do at least 14880 hours on it at then you can make 15 dollars an hour.

”  Turning mentally ill women into a salaried force incentivized to act as badly as possible towards disinterested nerds in public paid huge dividends.   ”

heheheh what about INTERESTED nerds. totally humiliating supplicating omega orbiters is what im getting at.

anyway i luv weev, he’s in muh top tier, i will continue giving him .14 euros a week hahahahaha. up to a limit of 20 USD a year hehehehe. maybe moar if i ever get a job hahahahaha.

anyway women are so NIHILISTIC. SEX means nothing to them, RELS mean nothing to them, PEOPLE mean nothing to them. they treat everything as cheap and disposable. throwaway. EVERYTHINGS a throwaway. know someone for years, they’re just as disposable as some one night stand guy, just as disposable as the new life you casually create with that sexy stranger. LIFE IS CHEAP.

yeah well i dont think its so fookin CHEAP!

wewlad finally had a good calorie day today. it is SO HARD lately. i can eat 1200 calories in one meal.

took 75% dose of nyquil, would prefer some MJ like a degen

well its nice to know women can get heartbroken the same way men can!

yeah if you want it 1-3 times every day, you ARE a “sex addict”, ya dumb B. at the very least, a NYMPHOMANIAC. anyone who MUH DICKS THAT much is a DEGEN. high sex drive. suck muh dick bitch hahahaha. there are more important things in life than your SEX DRIVE, ya degen. try doing an ACTUAL JOB where you creat ACTUAL value, and not get paid to do MORE masturbation. serve angry customers. serve tables. deal with people. do stuff. get really confused. panic. go bald from the stress.

i never said you couldnt have male friends. i just say its pretty sketchy when your BEST FRIEND is a man. just like is sketchy when a MAN’s BEST friend is a WOMAN. i would guess in at least 75% of these, there are feelings involved. maybe requited feelings, but still feelings that will complicate the friendship bigtime.

friends is fine…..BEST FRIENDS is not.



yeah i mean its better when the guy is CONFIRMED gay homosexual. i guess its ok if they are an ugly omega niceguy. well, no its not, because she shouldnt encourage the attention of some poor niceguy sadsack who is OBVIOUSLY in LUV with her. she shouldnt ALLOW that kind of guy to become her BEST FRIEND.

again just throwing pretty important concepts around LIKE THEY MEAN NOTHING.



good to see that even the degenerate nihilist women on reddit think this situation is Problematic hehehe.

weev used to say some drugs were ok, but now he is taking the standard WN line that all drugs are always bad, included degenerate negro MJ. LIFT AND HACK, he says.

which IS great advice. and i agree MJ is TECHNICALLY degen. but i still really WANT it. maybe i will want it less once i go through another phase hehehehe. i mean i just WANT it! i would NOT brag about it to WN’s becuase I TOTALLY understand their position.

but if i cant have MJ then i will take nyquil every 3 days until i DO get some mj, and it WILL be a large amount, 75 to 100 dollars worth.

pmans award winning post hehehehe

very intelligent fun reading, i cannot discourage reading MPC and should put it in the permanent links.

getting into a little MPC phase here.

i like the super smart tone, it is kinda like heartiste, but less degen. well i think heartiste was kinda instrumental in MPC’s origin, maybe a feud/banning with heartiste and pleasureman, something stupid and dramatic.

obviously heartiste is pro-white and pro-family values, but MPC seems to be a bit more blatantly in signalling against degen slut banging.

but yeah PMan i think prob has real issues with women, and i can relate. he might be like me if i were MUCH more successful in life, a little bit more successful with women but still couldnt get a long term waifu, were much more confident, and continued to drink.  yeah thats a lot of what ifs hahaha. i would totally take it, just for the Successful Career, Money, Status, Confidence, and Experience.

looking for personal relships with women thread hahahaha. i will totally take rel advice from the smart men of MPC!

yeah they will say, be a winner in life, do something important, find a decent woman at church, etc. prob very similar to what TRS would say. be a huge ubermensch and not a neet loser. decent women dont go for loser men. faint hearts do not win fair ladies. be a man worth getting a good woman. until you lift yourself up from neetness, dont even think about women.

yeah well until i become a winner, i’d still like to read about other peoples rels and their rel probs, so i might better approach similar probs if i ever get a rel, which i very well may not hahahahaha.

heh. not sure if its the nyquil or the low calorie diet, but just no energy. i should LIFT but even the idea of doing 10 pushups is intimidating hehehe.

so i ate huge bowl of cereal that was HALF of my entire DAYS worth of calories hehehehe.

all the food for one day. less than 2 bowls of cereal.

to be fair, it was a HUGE bowl of cereal, 3.25 servings of cereal. 100 grams hahahaha.

yeah i put MPC in the permalinks. cant not recommend this great forum hahahaha.

ok. no more interviews in the Pipeline. got to apply to something today. sheeeeeeeeeeit. fook all these phaggots. bitches can suck muh d. hahaha.

do i am nowhere near as narcissistic as elliott rodger. he couldnt admit anywhere in his weak ass short 150 page manifesto that he had any responsibility. in my 148800000000000000 page manifesto, i admit my own responsibility on every page. but women do have some responsibility to not be such narcissistic, sociopathic, immoral, nihilistic, hedonistic, negroistic sluts. semen demons hahahaha. muh dick. bix nood muhfugga.

treat people better than inconvenient fetuses you abort, your own children you coldly murder!


some really truly HATEFUL black metal. pretty fast too, lots of fast blasts. this is the kind of mood i am in nao hahaha. they just came out with their first album in 10 years. since this album as a matter of fact.

sheeeeit just tortured myself for 22 minutes apply to 2 jobs hahahaha. see the thing is now, i have my choice employers that i jump to apply to…….but ive applied to 30, 40, 50 jobs with them over the last 4 months and pretty much KNOW i’m gonna get auto rejected, probably for the gap. well, with the county at least, they brought me in for 2 interviews, so, im not gonna fully say fook the county. but they DO always reject me for the 26k jobs, no interview. i think they must be telling me, set my sights higher hahahaha.

and the hospital ALWAYSSSSSSSSS rejects me, has not had me in for one real interview, but toyed with me TWICE in a very unprofessional manner. them i am veyr close to saying fook off back to africa hahahahaha. israhell.

497 jobs here. going SO slow. have slowed down SOOO much. better make the 500th a good one.



another classic muh GF has a BEST FRIEND whos a guy. NO. FOOK THAT SHIT.



good lord what a fooked up crazy bitch who is turning this guy into a crazy b as well. hope reddit doesnt jump on him for doing something wrong.  THIS is how fooked up women are, a MAN would NEVER do something this crazy. the guy is now going so crazy hes wondering if he should turn himself into the police for raep. COME ON.


difficult situation where guy gets feels for his female friend, she rejects him, then gets mad and calls him a nice guy creep when he decides he needs space. what will reddit say? i say the guy is in the right, and the gurl is wrong and immature. thankfully reddit seems to agree. see reddit isnt all bad.

heh. whenever i read a womans issue, i think, well why dont you just LEAVE him. why do you even CARE. why dont you just ignore and block him. just dump him. just leave him. its so easy for you women to just LEAVE men.

but its not easy when they LUV the men. then they come on to reddit and ask how can i FIX this. they dont WANT to just leave him. wish i had that kind of luv from that woman!

why do you even care about this guy? why dont you just leave him? its so easy!

and of course reddit likes to always advise “dump the mfin asshole” hahahaha

and i dont think i was THAT huge of an ASSHOLE that i needed to be dumped with SUCH extreme prejudice hehehe.

ok fair enough. ive said my piece. peace. whatever. hahaha. sheeeeeeeeeeit.


they say don’t confess your feelings, but always “ask her out on a date.” i am a little wtf about this. i would say, yeah dont say IM IN LUV WITH YOU COMPLETELY, play that down and be like, hey i think i might sorta like like you, so lets Go Out On A Date to Olive Garden saturday night at 6pm, I’m buying.

being sort of facetious about olive garden of course. but im not sure if i would like some swpl snob leftist shitlib who thinks theyre TOO GOOD for olive garden.

good day for men with unrequited feelings for their female friends. this should really be a new flair subcategory.

nov 5


THATS what she thought i was doing, and thats why she was so mad at me, thought i betrayed her.

its kinda like ulterior motives, and its kinda hard to disprove, because you gotta be willing to take the person (me) at their word: i wasnt waiting in the wings, ITS NOT WHAT IT LOOKS LIKE, I SWEAR!

and its NOT what it looks like!

but it REALLY looks like that to the other person.

i mean yeah, there is just too much reasonable doubt for her. my feelings changed right as she became single? it looks just like waiting in the wings! like i was waiting to SWOOP IN!

i wasnt really waiting in the wings…..but her becoming single DID make me think and feel about her differently! like, we get along, we are good friends, maybe we should THINK about this, i never really thought about this before, because i just wasnt used to you being single ever.

does it count as waiting in the wings if you dont do anything to break the people up?

but just passively wait there? i guess so. and it makes the woman hate you more for being a passive spineless pussy hahaha.

yeah but my JSUTIFICATION was that i didnt WANT them the break up because I wasnt WAITING for her because I didnt LIKE her until AFTER she broke up with him!!!!!

so yeah that is a very exact complicated thing to understand, and she has to be willing to listen to me and try to understand it, and i can understand why she wasnt willing to try to understand it. because it reasonably LOOKS kind of shady.

but it can go both ways! and I was hoping, probably not unreasonably, that she would give me the benefit of the doubt, because i wasnt some Shady Rando, so at least LISTEN to my side of the story! Im not some damn Rando Shady Creep!

I KNOW it looks bad to you and to 50% of people. just LET ME EXPLAIN.


people who are caught red handed doing something obviously, indefensibly wrong!

but i DO have a legitimate defense! thats why i wanted an arbitrator, or at least a chance to defend myself!

COULD I CONVINCE A JURY that my defense is legitimate? i think so!

because i can say that my feelings changed officially in october 2014, and she was finished with longterm in bf in june 2014…..and prob earlier.

in july 2014 i had the first rumblings but tried to ignore it.

by oct 2014 i was like im not gonna ignore this any more. i will accept this.

had a dream last night featuring woman1, the first woman i ever went crazy for. i was 20-21 and she was like 23, actually older than me. weird to think that now she is mid to late thirties and is reaching the end of her “fertility”, so if she hasn’t had children by now……..she’s fooked.

anyway it was a pleasant dream, i was holding her close and grabbing her meaty ass.

but yeah waiting in the wings is when you have ulterior motives. i didnt have ulterior motives, therefore i was not waiting in the wings. but because of the timeframe, my motives might have looked ulterior to someone who wasnt willing to listen to my side of the story ehehe.

went to church, the most beautiful girl in church came in and sat next to ME. well, about 4 seats down from me, so that I couldnt really see her without making it obvious that i was staring at her. she was wearing a knee length skirt (acceptable level of modesty for me!) and i dunno a sweater or something acceptably modest on top. but you could still tell that she was a beautiful young woman. probably a little too young. 19, 20 years old. red hair. pale white skin. tall, long legs. yes that is my weakness.

i instantly got fantasies of White Knighting and Providing and Protecting, cuddling with her, and being a Big Strong Man For Her. Protecting and Providing. VERY natural and very nondegen, pure, good, moral, nonjooified feelings. nothing pornographic or jooified.

then i thought, well, while i’m thinking that abotu her, she’s fantasizing about getting fooked by chad, or worse, tyrone. thinking about pornographic jooish SODOMY, muh dick, oh yeah i wanna suck dick, get fooked by dick, get filled up by dick and bend over for dick and get fooked hard like a little slut.

while I’m thinking of being king arthur with my gallant shit here.

well i have NO PROOF that that gurl was thinking such jooish, pornographic, sodomite shit.

in fact, the less you watch that filth, the less you think like that.

so thats why i dont watch that shit any more. but the damage is already done. i watched a lot of that jooish garbage, so now i think that way.

another thing that poisons the white mind is university/college. they basically all need to be shut down. you are scooping out healthy white minds and filling their heads with jooish pseudointellectual pornography, masturbation. turning whites into joos. its HORRIBLE.

anyway, a young gurl who goes to CHURCH of her own initiative (she was there by herself, no family or Boifran hehehehe) is probably less of a pornographic jooish sodomite in their mind, than some neet watching jooish porn all day. so she PROBABLY wasnt thinking about SODOMY. she probably doesnt need to be MANSPLAINED to about how casual sex is bad and being a slut is bad and abortion is bad. she already Implicitly KNOWS all this.

so why didnt i Ask Her Out On A Date? well terribly low confidence from being a 30+ year old neet loser. but at least my BMI is 21.3! so that means i could pull a woman of minimum BMI 31.3 HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA (hint: over 30 is OBESE)

ALSO, if you take the (age/2)+7 rule……she would be TOO YOUNG for me hahahahaha. what about +3 hahahahaha.

also, an old man came and sat between me and her. i bet he wanted to protect and provide for her too hahahaha.

but yeah the horrible pornified way of thinking is still seared in muh mind. thinking that women are these dirty nympho sluts that like to get fooked like meat. they LIKE being DEGRADED.

years of watching porno has PERMANENTLY WARPED MY MIND.

so why not just say fook it and continue watching it?

well because i think i have improved at least a little. also i just dont WANT to watch it!!!!

anyway. there was ANOTHER cute young girl in church today (usually there are none, OR lets just say they are closer to 16 than to 18, yikes) but she was not as pretty. did not have long legs, not as pale white skin, she might have even had some nonwhite in her! she was with her young BF. it was nice they were going to church together. he had dark hair too but looked a lot whiter. she could have been part arab or italian or something hahahahaha. greek. turkish. albanian.

main point is, she was wearing tight exercise pants that are NOT appropriate in church, or even at the gym. theres a thread on MPC right now about this hehehehe. supposedly its EASY and CONVENIENT to dress like this. im sure it is, but its also easy for me to wear Baggy Sweatpants that arent GLUED to my ass and crotch. it puts the womens bodies, asses, genitals on display in a vulgar, immodest, degen, jooified, sodomitic way that its like theyre barely wearing clothes at all.

flanders feels like im wearin nothin at all!.wav


stupid sexy flanders

so thats the damn POINT. its just as QUICK and EASY and CONVENIENT to wear something more MODEST.

it would be like MEN wearing SPEEDO or that stupid borat Onesie everywhere. to walmart. to church.

but thats not SECSY!!!!!!

the way an 18 year old girl with 21 BMI is !

well borat has a healthy BMI too, he’s not a fat slob, just Hairy and Gross.

well my point is. its immodest clothing that shows too damn much of your naked body!

(yes flanders of all people should know better!)

anyway i am wearing a pair of large sweatpants and they are super big. i could probably wear medium and it would be just fine. and that would be fine for most women too. why cant you just wear non-skin-tight sweatpants instead of super-skin-tight YOGA pants???!?!?!??!?!

isnt it HARD to STUFF yourself into pants that are SO TIGHT they show every curve of your ass?


theres this fashion idea that sweatpants are the Least Sexy Thing Ever.


In fact, you really don’t EVER need to look SEXY. Not even in the Bedroom.

you dont need to look sexy at the gym, at the store, in public, at church.

so yeah. its JOOISH and PORNOGRAPHIC and SODOMITIC for everything to be so goddamn sexualized. you dont NEED to look SEXY!!!!!!!! its not BAD to not look sexy! just because youre not looking SEXY doesnt mean you have to look like a people of walmart fat slob!!!!!!!

dont wear skintight sexy clothes to the gym, which is a PUBLIC PLACE with lots of horny nonwhites who LOVE staring at young healthy women in skintight clothing!!!!!!

so yeah i hate this “its easy and comfortable” excuse.

and i liked that That Woman never dressed like that.

TO MY KNOWLEDGE hahahahahaha.

here’s two qt gurls, at CHURCH, and its obvious that one GET IT, and the other has NO IDEA.

thing is, the gurl wearing skintight pants to church probably ISNT a huge whore, she’s just a 18 year old gurl who doesnt know any better. and her father is either Gone, or Weak, or he’s a fat sodomite slob who jerks off to pictures of 20 year old girls wearing YOGA PANTS. its just what young girls wear nowadays. OH GOODY. MORE HOT ASSES TO JERK OFF TO. I think they are honestly so dense that they dont see that their OWN DAMN DAUGHTER LOOKS LIKE THAT. otherwise they would forbid their daughter from wearing clothes like that and looking like a damn SLUT.

i got a great idea: rent a car, DRIVE TO COLORADO, buy a LOT of MJ, then very carefully drive the car back over several states hahahaha. yeah thats prob a felony sooooo i dont advocate or support or recommend this. just wondering if people DO do it.

yeayea wapo is jooish trash i know

anyway its probably not worth it, they still bust a lot of people in nebraska and kansas it seems.

hmmm this is tuffer than im not haaaaaaaappy i think i wanna open our rel. this is yasssss i want to get MARRIED but i ALSO want to do this just this one time.



your not in a rel anymore, she dumped you, so you dont get to be mad about her fooking other guys!!!! hahahaha.

this is why you dont end the rel until you MOVE OUT FIRST.

THEN dump the guy.

THEN start fooking other guys super quickly and sending them noods.

just normal 21 yo gurl shit.


why do they HAVE to add insult to injury? isnt it enough just to INJURE someone hahahaha.

why couldnt she just suck it up for 2 months until the lease ends, then be like, yep im dumping you, have a good life; OR find somewhere else to stay; OR be more private with her slut shit and not RUB IT IN HIS FACE.

Ive never been in OP’s situation THANK GOD, but i STILL know the right thing to do! and i prob would have known when i was a 21 year old idiot! because i have EMPATHY, unlike these WOMEN!


oh so its HIS fault because he’s not SUCCESSFUL enough that he DROVE her to cheating, and her not wanting to fix the rel. i hate seeing men who are not at fault, BLAME themselves like its their damn fault their gf is trash!!!!!!!!



june 12

so i do need to Jump On It, and Get Deep In The Action re New Job Search, because things are not looking good re the stupid job i was hoping to get called back to. heard a bunch of the higher ups left and the sh1t really hit the fan. restructuring and whatnot.

so it will prob take a week to get the 10 or 12 puffs of wiid i took over the week out my my system.

oh yeah part of the fun we had was to develop a new language full of ridiculous phrases that were repeated many many times throuhgout the week. can’t say the most obvious ones for anonymity purposes, but “deep in the action” was a good example which i look forward to using in my day to day life.

anyway. point is. job search. ok. gotta go to temp office. use the new social skills i was able to observe. look for english tutoring jobs, private skool jobs, chess tutor jobs, maybe math tutor at like mathnasium or something becuase the college is not hirin math tutors, and if they were, it would only be part time at 9 bucks an hour.

because math tutor is a stepping stone job, hehehehe.

but you might meet an ambitious young man who can get you a fulltime assistant job at his company. hehehe. i met several such ambitious young men and was able to hide my nonambition well enough to talk to them like a normalfag and have fun with then. so you can too.

i even confessed i was lazy and really didn’t want to do a masters degree until i was convinced it would really Add Value. then kinda bullsh1tted that my ideal masters degree would be “an intersection of information science, information security, computer science, and math.”

which really is not too far off from the truth!!!! with a job in that field you could make way more than the loser threshold of 36k a year, and prob enough for lower middle class…..if not middle middle class! and as we said before, i am a huge SUCKER for middle class women. despite my heart always being with the working class.

put post it notes on the wall by your bed to remind you of the things you need to do. to do list, if you will.

clean your room with dusting and vacuuming once every three months.

exercise is more important than writing or blogging or really just about anything else except for straight up paid work.

try to listen to music more. use spotify or whatever to make a Party Mix of crowd pleasing songs, with like 5% of the weird songs you like to listen to that would not be crowd pleasers. try to keep the songs under 10 minutes hehehe. hip hop hits from the 90s are always a good idea. will smith. and nothing too deep or weird, we are looking for songs that people actually sort of know. with weird new stuff at only 5 to 10% to BOIL THE FROG and subtly peak the interest but not overwhelm.

heh. i was talking to this guy who was getting rip roaring drunk, he was an absolutely hilarious and wild and crazy guy, unfortunately also a leftist but i can get along with leftists regardless, who had a pretty sweet tutoring/coaching job with no masters degree, and we briefly talked about my situation and how it compared to the situation he was in a year ago, before he got this new job in a new town and his life did a 180. talked briefly about masters degrees, i tried to spin things to make myself sound confident and normal, when he asked me what is my passion, what have i loved doing ever since i was 2 years old, and i struggled in answering that question, before saying the usual about writing and film, possib documentaries. then spun it towards my thing about “info science with comp sci and math.” which he agreed sounded bretty good. but he was getting epic drunk at the time off a ridic bacardi 151 drank.

june 12

Homework 4 You: go to spotify and create a new playlist called something like Social Fun Mix So You can meet gurls, make frands, and lose your kissless virginity.

then browse thru the spotify premade playlists and put songs you know and like on it, from playlists like DANCE and HIP HOP and RAP and TOP 40 and HITS and Hits Across the decades. throw some dancey hipster crap in there too. throw a bit of classic rock type songs. the rule is, it must be fun and or upbeat.

I listen to real weird stuff and would not make this weird stuff more than 5% of the list, becuase that will turn your party into a sausage party.

yeah it sucks to pander to the pvssy, but you got to give them fun music to dance to as they get drunk and dance at yer party. you can’t just play just noise music or death metal or something.

ok i spent an hour doing that. it was fun. just going through like 50 premade playlists and ctrl clicking and adding to my playlist the songs i liked or felt would be effective vaj tinglers, not too weird or creepy, fun, party songs. some of which are actually good, like van morrison or temptations or paul simon or phil collins, police, michael jackson, etc.

remember, nothing too weird. you can do 5% weird TOPS.



june 15

ok by this time this blog should be hugely popular because i am publishing every day. 4 months is too much, 3 months is just right. ok. now pay me 38k a year and give me a true luvly gurl.

maybe get a social skills book intended for kids with autism.  because you might now have autism but your social skills are as bad as an autists.

ok i run out of paxil on friday and have to visit the doc to get a refill. i will try to get in to the doc on friday. and then really pump him for the drugs i want: namely, a tricyclic (old skool anti “depressant” which for some reason i think is more powerufl and effective than the modern stuff, but i could be wrong) and a benzo. maybe get the nonbenzo anxiety thing buspar as well. i mean you don’t have to get ALL the rx’s filled, but this is your one shot to get them.

try to get as many rx’s as possible when you are in there with the doc for 15 minutes.

yesterday i was trying to find the cheapest yet decent reputation online skool and found a program at oregon state univ where you could complete a BS of computer science as a POSTBACC thing, meaning you screwed up the first time and got the wrong degree the first time, like me, and you want to fix that and get the right bachelors degree, but without all the fluff. can be completed in 1 year if you’re super ambitious.

60 credits. all degrees should be like this. you should not have 60 additional credits of marxism on top of that.

60 credits times 460 dollars per credit, coming to about 27k for the 60 credit computer science degree.

this looked real good. i think a Postbac might be what i’m looking for. right up my alley. i just forget it exists.

but colleges should work FOR you with all the money you’re paying. ie I should go to the local university and make them do an online compsci postbac for me, and hopefully for a better price. I would pay maybe….14k for that degree. but 27k is way too much, i can’t afford that without taking out a stupid gayass loan and I’m not gonna do that!!!!!!

well the term POSTBAC is moreso geared towards premed, dental, health stuff. though i see no reason why it could not be applied to sciences or engin, i guess the bigboys don’t use the word like that yet.

also look up “SECOND DEGREE” or even “SECOND MAJOR.”

you gotta know these terms so you know what to search for, so you can find ANYTHING.

really what i want is a SECOND MAJOR. i don’t want a full degree. i already have a full useless degree. I just want to ideally add the minimum of useful courses to give the effect of having a useful degree like engin and compsci.

heh. when i talked to my old frand i went to middle class elite college with, he said he had a sh1tty job at a coffee place with a real d1ck manager / franchise owner, who was such a d1ck everybody quit. later my frand went to the bank and saw the guy working as a teller there. the kicker was, he was an ENGIN grad from that very same prestigious college that I daily regret i did not get an engin degree from. where ALL the engin grads make 80k a year right out of school. and here was this loser working at the bank.

also my frand has a gurlfran who is trying to get some decent high school related administrative jobs. i axed him where’d she get her masterz degree and he said she didn’t have one. that gave me hope, because she was interviewing for some not bad jobs. with just a bachelors degree.

so both these things made me feel better about muh self, hahaha.

how about u.


of course i have been thinking about doing the “health information technology” thing at the community college again.  would that be a better return on investment than a second major in compsci. would that make finding a job easier. that is really the main thing for me. it is f00king impossible to find a job for me. i would rather get a lower paying job easier, than a higher paying job harder, because for me, it would be a LOTTTTTTT infinitely harder.

erm a 60 credit second major/degree in compsci seems better than a 72 credit assoc degree in health info tech. BUT the latter might be cheaper because the credits would be like 100 dollars and not 460 dollars. YIKES.

but a compsci person prob makes more than an HIT person. right? or do they just become bank tellers. and pine about gurls they knew when they were 20 but never touched, until they are 40. hahahahaha. not that they touch them when they are 40. no no. i was referring to the pining. well perhaps that never ends, not at 40, not at 60, not until you die.

that’s why the good lord created tricyclics and benzos!

maybe ECT. I hear ECT is practically like erasing your memory. wouldn’t mind that!!!!


may 2

yeah buddy. was feeling superbad about jobs and being a loser so i went for a second powerwalk to get to 4.8 miles for the day. nice.

probably the best thing i can do is, contact my “current” job mgr and ask them for an “ETA” on my rehire.

my other aces in the hole are, going to a staffing agency, and lying mah ballz off. just lying and being more full of sh1t than ever before, in order to tell them exactly what they want to hear.

maybe going to the docker and demanding a sh1tload of prozac and a sh1tload of buspar so i can function throughout the day and not freak out and quit the job.

bring a one sheeter to the docker and know exactly which drugs you want. you will want to pick off the $4 rx list because of course you don’t have good health care. but you can get prozac and buspar off there. sh1t i am pretty sure str8 up XANAX can be got in a generic that is not horribly expensive.

but don’t expect your docker to know all this, or to know the name of the drug, or to write it for a generic, that’s why you bring in a one sheeter and tell him EXACTLY what you want!

you should be able to get a visit for less than $100. I know I can get a visit for like $80. so save up $80 or put it on your credit card. make sure the office takes credit cards. not all of them do!

and then lie your balls off to show you are not just GOOD, but PERFECT, and take tons of meds to keep you from K’ing yourself because of your job. the end. hehehehe.

now once you get the job, do eveyrthing you can to get ahead. suck up, show how smart you are, etc. sometimes a company actually will promote you because they can see you are smarter than everyone else, and then you become assistant manager in under a year.  extreme example, but still.

at my job there is a clique of “cool kids” which I should be kissing their A’s harder, and bringing in coffee for them. that is how you suck up, you come in with like 10 tim hortons coffees. even though there is a coffee machine there you can make folgers with. I always drink a ton of folgers and never buy tim hortons. this will be my downfall if i don’t correct course (another great buzzword.)

i wonder how can they stack all these trays of coffee cups in their car and drive without spilling all the stuff. that honestly is my main concern.

plus i am noticing more d1ckheads than i did at first. like, do all these people really NEED to be such 4ssholes? I did the job without being such a huge 4sshole.

if paxil and prozac are both similar ssri’s, it is possible that one would have a drastically different effect over the other? because muh paxil does nothing, and i would hope prozac would make a drastic difference. like cure muh laziness and make me a hard worker and make me motivated to get a useful masterz degree and enter the middle class and get a nice lower middle class career job and a lower middle class wief who doesn’t gain 9000000000 pounds the instant she hits 30.

i argue you can have several children each with a different woman and be a good father to each of the children. that way if one woman sucks, you can minimize your involvement with her, but still work with her to be a parent to that child, and then have a better woman for your next wife. wives are like CARS. they get sh1tty after a few years, then you gotta get a new one.

who cares. just worry about banging cute 18 yo’s first, and sowing your wild oats.

and also finding a ft job that you can stay at for a few years. damn. f00k.

sh1t who cares if you don’t get promoted. just a place you can not quit or not get laid off for two good years. DAMN.

i’ve actually met people who were bigger losers than me. sort of. one guy had a valid excuse, because he never finished his bach degree, and also he had huge health problems.

and this one guy who got laid off and then remained laid off for like 4 years, hehehe.

and all the guys in prison are bigger losers than me! but I have never actually MET them hehehe. I am thinking of people I’ve actually met in person.

i know plenty of people who never finished their degree, but they are still gainfully employed and getting pvssy. well, it’s not great pvssy, hehehehe.

anyone who finished their degree and became a loser? Nope, only me. Everyone else got masterz degreez and good middle class masterz degree jobz and wives.

so, obvious answer is, get a masterz degree. take out loanz and just do it, and odds are i will prob get a decent job afterwards.  so just do it already. i can assure you i would know well enough to not get a useless masterz degree. I would get something heavily STEM oriented.

i would also do everything i could to Kiss A with my professors, hang out with them before and after class, and pump them for names of contacts at companies who could get me a job. ideally i would get a masters degree job even before officially completing the masterz degree. at the very latest, then the second after graduating. no later. the entire PURPOSE of getting a masterz degree is to get a GOOD JOB.

sh1t the entire purpose of getting a bach degree should be to get a good job!

well I’m sorry LORD, I done f00ked it up. please give me the strength and the COURAGE to unf00k it.



may 1

moar compelled than usu to write.

weird dreams last night man!

I was in my old childhood house again. it was a great house. i was in my old bedroom, which was a converted attic and the best bedroom ever.

the theme was that I was having a kind of “going away party” and many of my old friends from college and some from high school were showing up and giving me an emotional farewell. i wasn’t sure where I was going. or maybe it was that THEY were all going away forever. one person gave me the friendly advice that I should really seriously consider getting a Masters Degree, when they had a masters degree in something useless like Spiritual Studies or something, whereas I was considering Business or STEM ONLY, but didn’t want to do the work or pay the money. but i took his advice in the friendly spirit it was given.

there were a few guys from high school. strangely enough, I don’t think some of my closest, long term friends even made an appearance.

and then weirdest of all, there was a gurl from middle school who showed up, and now she was all matured an in her Early Twenties and looking REAL cute. as she came to say goodbye and approached me and it was all sad and dramatic, and then we started making out furiously, and it turned out we were both in Luv with each other. I think it developed even into passionate, true love, let’s get married type Sex! that was real fun!

and then last minute drastic rearranging of plans, so we could spend our lives together, and too bad we didn’t do this EARLIER.

anyway things were looking cautiously optimistic there, and then we wandered out into the world, and it was an apocalyptic wasteland, where we were quickly separated and predated upon by the weird forces that were killing humanity. so that sucked.

But then I thought of the Actual Girl. From MIDDLE school. She was cute, nice, not Slutty, not a “bad girl”, and also not one of the super popular girls. should i try to find her on facebook now? prob not. but I should have tried to court her in middle school hehehe.

and then there was another interesting dream. i was getting in with a new group of friends including one esp cute gurl, who I was interested in, and who was giving signals to me as well. I was helping them move to a new house, with the implication that me and the cute gurl would HOOK UP when the move was done. but I kept dropping stuff and was saddled with all the super cumbersome stuff, etc etc etc, really got screwed there. so the dream ended with me dropping a bunch of stuff in the middle of the street, getting frustrated, and waiting for them to show up to help me, but they were taking too long and not appreciating the difficulty i was having.

the huge spike in dreaming maybe came from a discussion the night before that was pretty intense, 3 men thinking about the future of themselves and of the world. we agreed that 80% of humanity was huge idiots, idiocracy idiots too dumbed down to have any understanding of the world. one guy was considering a possible career upgrade. the other guy had just upgraded his career and is in a very good place and I am kinda jealous of. he talked about his Career Ambitions to Work Hard, Advance Fast, Do what it takes to Rise Quickly to the Executive Level and make 100k + a year. Proving himself at work, possib getting a masters degree, etc. and he is a very intelligent guy; well all 3 of us are very intelligent, moreso than the 80% of sheeple idiots, hehehe.

the first guy talked about how he hated school and was also really lazy. he could have gotten into a good college but didn’t want to do the work. i completely related. of course guy2 was sort of pushing guy1 to finish his bachelors degree so as to get a better job, as he has already proven himself currently in a managerial position, but moving up wouldn’t be bad either, and a lot of jobs demand the Sheet Of Paper.

Just like a lot of jobs demand the Sheet of Paper that is a Masters Degree.

And Guy2 said he could have gotten into a good college too, and said his big regret was missing the deadline to apply for the Good College I actually went to, and Sh4t the bed at! I’m not sure if he was trying to get me to talk about my experience, of course, I didn’t really want to, becuase certainly MY biggest regret is going to that college and not making anything of myself!

So he went to a “lesser” college, one where I wish I had gone instead, and he did VERY well for himself, and is well on his way to making those six figures.

and then we started discussing big picture things like government and economy and taxation and debt and political stuff. all very good topics. now, guy2 is much more left leaning than me, and started talking about how evil libertarians and conservatives are. I smiled and Hid My Rightist Nationalist Views.

Because you almost can’t get away with having Rightist Nationalist Views if you are Huge Loser like Me!

and then there was talk on Econ 3 stuff like NAFTA and Free Trade and Globalization and Trade Balances and GDP and Government Spending and Taxation Policies. not the type of stuff you can talk to the Sheeple about, or Wimmin, hehehe. Certainly you can speak like this at an Elite College, but all those kids are Leftists, hehehe.

anyhow I didn’t entirely agree with the guy but he made some good points and made me think about the ridic Masterz Degree, or at the very least, that we are both interested in The Global Economy.

Now he is on board with it, and I am VERY skeptical of it, and wonder if there’s anyway we can Opt Out of the Global Economy, and still Protect American Jobs. I guess the idea is that we go through hard times in the short term so we can get better in the long term as an even moar global player.

of course, “short term” is the remainder of our lives!!!

so he thinks Education is the Key, and that if Fedgov dipped into Defense Spending by even 1% it could Erase All Student Debt. I agree that Education is A Scam and Too Damn Expensive. However I am more leery of Globalization and World Economy, and would like a more Protectionist and Nationalist approach. how far would our standard of living decrease then? a little or a lot?

plus i am jelly that he made better decisions than me and is reaping what he sowed, and has a good alpha level career job, can pull gurls, etc.  slightly jelly, he is a good guy.

but yeah all 3 of us have alpha level intelligence and deserve good jobs and good gurls, but our lives all took very different paths, with me being the biggest loser hehehe. well, you become a loser when you’re LAZY, eh. but the other guy, who admits his huge laziness, is still a bigger winner than me! but he’s a good guy too, I like and respect both guys.

anyway it was a memorable and fun discussion and might have prompted all the intense dreaming later.


april 18

had somebody endorse me for a “skill” on linkedin, and i immediately went and endorsed them. this is what i do. i really SHOULD update my linkedin, AND start really WORKING it, “pimping it out”, but more importantly I SHOULD be doing more job search related stuff.

I simply hate working and I have some “F00K YOU MONEY” saved up to live off of while I wait for my my old job to come back. Period.

“but don’t you want to contribute something? DO SOMETHING with your LIFE? Be a productive human being?”

Yes of Course. part of how I do that is with this Blog, believe it or not.

And yes I have been slacking on the Productivity. I could at least be working on a Creative Project, like Music, or a Movie, SOMETHING that requires SOME ENERGY.

Well, doing my Powerwalks is my bare minimum.

And recently I began enjoying listening to music once again, hehehe. that is what I contribute to society. listening to music.

well, soon enough I will be contributing to society by working a full time upper working class job, thank you very much. even if it IS a stupid job. I mean they could make the operation a LOT more efficient with some ground up redesign of the products we are servicing. BUT doing so would put even MORE of us out of a job. the Clusterf00kness of the Work is the very thing that gives us job security.

but we do have a real skill, in being able to solve clusterf00k problems. that’s got to be worth something to someone!

i can’t tell you how many people were laid off simply because they Just Weren’t Good Enough! so simply STAYING is a sign of Strength and Skill and Employability! and I stayed way longer than the average.

anyway, i SHOULD get a masters degree, but equally as important is that I also bust my 4ss in that degree, and make sure it’s a useful degree, outperform everybody in the program, and that I have a good middle class job lined up BEFORE finishing the program.

and I am not willing to do all that right now. i would maybe be willing to half 4ss a masters degree…..but that would be worse than no masters degree at all, so that’s out.

so what is the next level in my current Job Track. well, either moving up in the current company, or a “lateral move” to a similar position in a less gay company. but each of these would require at least one year of FT experience, so I am just trying to get thru that at least, and make some powerful friends along the way, play the game of thrones hahahaha, and try to bang some young qtz while i’m at it son.

heh. here’s an interesting topic, people who are Lost, and then a Kind Soul gives them Help, but the Lost Soul does not really capitalize on that Help, because their WILL is THAT Weak. Discuss Amongst Yourselves. They were given a chance but they blew it, they were too lazy to even meet the person halfway; they can’t be helped.

10000 steps a day is how much you’re supposed to powerwalk to be healthy like a paleo caveman. that is ABOUT five miles. For short people like myself with Short Strides, that might be more like 4 miles. maybe.

heh on a “good day” i do two ~30 min powerwalks, getting 3.4 miles. not long enough!

but it’s better than whining, obviosuly. ie bad useless writing. which is the risk of writing. I love writing but sometimes, often, it stops being Positive or Productive. like right now, hahahaha. i am getting antsy to upgrade

eh try to walk 5 miles a day, at least 5 days a week. even during a winter. get a treadmill. heck join planet fitness and go there JUST for the treadmill, and find one hidden way in the back so you don’t have to look at people and they don’t have to look at you.

This will take ABOUT 90 minutes a day to do. yes, that is pretty significant, and is not a luxury afforded to Full Time Working Adults. In Fact, when I was Working Responsibly, and got healthy rest, I had NO time for ANYTHING but Work and Sleep, forget a 30 minute powerwalk! That sucked!

heh. some money can be made when you Feel Confident enough to RE-RAISE, and then to tack a little extra onto that re-raise beyond the minimum amount. this will either provoke the opponent to go all in, or at least give you a little extra money. WARNING: don’t get too confident unless you have a Flush, esp a Nut Flush, Or a Full House. Trips and Straights are Too Easily Beaten.

also if you have a good starting hand, and not a bad flop, but you want to make the opponents “pay to see the next card”, that is a good time to make a 1x pot sized bet. sure you could go all in but if you don’t have a super great hand you could get beat.

in other words, 1x pot is a good man sized bet immediately after the flop, and sets you up to make even manlier bets if you get good turn or river.

took 52 minute powerwalk.

ok. 32 minutes / 1.7 miles == x minutes / 5 miles.

32 * 5 == 1.7 * x;

x == (32*5)/1.7 ==  94.12 minutes.

QED, I should go for a 95 minute powerwalk EVERY DAY in order to be a healthy beta male!

And so should you! well, your time will vary based on your average powerwalking speed.

community, teamwork, dedication, handling difficulties.

those were listed on the tv news job search tips segment. so do those things. there was one more but I couldn’t write it down fast enough.

walking 5 miles a day takes up a LOT of time, like at least 90 minutes like I said. this really is a tall order for Working Career Oriented Successfulz. so i suggest listening to something useful, like music, or Lessons for your MBA. Or if you have a treadmill you can put your MBA textbookz right up on it and read.

I like to put mp3 player on Random Shuffle and then listen to 1:30 to 2:00 of each song, especially if I don’t know it very well, with the option to skip entirely.

How about You?


apr 17

not playing poker so much since it has becoming increasingly clear I cannot Make A Living off It. I could make more money At McDonalds. Actually. Literally. I am not good at winning Substantial Amounts Regulary, or even at all.

was thinking the PERFECT thing to do after getting out of my stressful job would be to smoke a ridic amt of Weed, like where you can’t even MOVE, and then go lay down for bed for the night, almost as if it were Wiping Your Memory of the Day. Before I would go to bed and stress out about the weird stuff that happened that day and which would happen the next day.

Also it is rough when there is no Down Time. When there is Down Time, people get Laid Off, because the goal is to keep everybody Constantly Busy, All Day Long. this might be a good goal if employees are doing something EASY, rather than getting bombarded with weird sh1t all day long. you know how when you take a Hard Math Exam, it’s “ONLY” two hours long, but it feels like yer brain is going to explode at the end of it.

again it would be good if you could SWITCH to something else for part of the day, so you can look forward to cleaning toilets, cleaning Mounds of Faeces which are clogging toilets.

You really have to train yourself not to CARE so much. BS the clients and cut corners, but in a way you don’t get in trouble. Cover Your 4ss. Build in Stress Relief that way. Cherish your Easy Issues, which would take 5 minutes, and stretch em out to 20 minutes, for example.

Cover the Entire Three Walls of your Cubicle with Small Post It Notes. that’s a great tip son.

Memorize EVERYBODY’S name and USE their names, “Hello Good Morning, NAME”.

i would almost not like taking lunch, because knowing you have to go BACK to that afterwards was rough.  four hours of craziness, then 30 mins to gobble down lunch, then four more hours of craziness.

yes it was no surprise there were a lot of cigarette smokers. it def increased my own cig smoking.

on the 30 min lunch i would religiously go to the bathroom and attempt to Drop A Deuce, because I was paranoid I would need to do so while on the clock, and then have to rush out and do it real fast and rushed. So I would take 15 minutes to eat the lunch, and then 15 minutes in the Toilet. the bad thing about this is you couldn’t really Smoke a Cigarette or Chit Chat with people.

Yep you actually LOOKED FORWARD TO SMALL TALK, just to remind yourself you were still alive, still safe, still surviving. trying to relate with your coworkers as human beings, as a break from the disembodied voices on the phone.

ANYWAY I vow to start Using Weed more as a Way to Decompress at the end of a Day. because you need your mind utterly BLOWN AWAY, then lay down, go to sleep, and feel actually refreshed when you get up.

It is impossible for me to Smoke Weed Secretly, so I would have to Eat It. this might be tricky. of course I also have a plan to get a Legit RX for some Xanax / benzos, etc.

Heh. I like the Tomboyish Girl on Gaym of Thrones who is something Reed, who along with her brother, joins Bran and Hodor and helps Bran tap into his Secret Shining Powers. Meera Reed protrayed by Ellie Kendrick. yeah i do like that kind of look. hopefully she doesn’t get naked like all the other wh0res on that show.


and yes those are not just rumors that the girl who plays tyrion’s prossie lover shae was also in Full Blown Pornos. You can find vidyas of her taking it up the A quite easily. Apparently her family disowned her after they found out.

Well, actions sometimes have consequences, and if you don’t want to risk your family disowning you…..don’t do pornos, CUPCAKE!

well who cares, as long as they are not my (or your) WIFE, hehehe.


that’s what you should say to 18 yo cuties to establish masculine dominance, hahahaha. no you really shouldn’t.

(TIL this is known as “The Alabama Hotpocket.”)

but yeah, women just aren’t worth it, UNLESS you can get a revolving door of 18 yo cuties at your beck and call, where you can pick and choose. that would be worth it.

If yr antidepressant isn’t working to its fullest, try adding ABILIFY!

now those commercials are real stupid. did they try increasing the AD? or switching the AD? what exactly IS abilify and what do it do?

more of an antipsychotic i guess. not enough attention span to read the whole article. hehe.

so how do you get a good middle class job and a good middle class mate, is the most effective route REALLY to get a masterz degree? god dam. you know i really hope not. but its how how prove yourself to the middle class employers, that you’re smart and capable, and prove to the middle class wimmin, that you’re “AMBITIOUS” and “MOTIVATED.”

but why is “middle class” even so desirable? Wouldn’t Upper Working Class be just as much desirable? And maybe UWC is what I’m actually talking about anyway? Having a Good Stable Job, being Smart and Intelligent and Well-Spoken, but not being a Status-Obsessed Marxist? Isn’t all that just Definition Upper Working Class? Maybe.

So do you need a Masterz Degree to enter the Upper Working Class? Maybe. Maybe not. Less so than if you wanted to enter the Lower Middle Class.

Heh. One of mah frandz has decided to “finally” get a Masterz Degree so this question is hitting even closer to home than Usual. Of course I would like to help him Get The Most out of It, rather than Getting Screwed.

Heh. Well, I will def be able to pump him for an Upper Working Class Job after he gets a Middle Class Job.