very low low quality poast today. also very short. ENJOY!!!

aug 29

ok survived that womans brithday which i think has passed. now she is another year older. definitely past her peak because women peak at 22 or 23 and she is well past that! thank God. but Im sure she still looks good 4 chad and tyrone, as long as she didnt pork up into a huge fatass. and i kinda hope she did. but her family was never fat. i mean her mother looked good for being near 50 years old. damn.

had phone interview with auto tech IT company. seems like great place to work. my salary requirements were in range. it is hourly. from like 15 to 17 bucks an hour. yikes. i said my range is like 12 to 16 hahahahaha.

so i talk to the 22 year old HR gurl today, they said 15 minutes but it lasted more like 27 minutes, is that good? then she will have me talk to the Controller (accounting), which will prob be tougher, and THEN if i impress the controller on the phone, i get to have an in person interview, and then if i do well on that, i get the 15 dollar job.  but the company is well reputed as a good workplace. have benefits. doesnt seem like 50 hour weeks hahahahaha.  the big challenge is keeping track of all the engineers and getting them to enter their time.

i marked the phone thing today as .5 of an interview.

tomorrow i have actual 1.0 interview with testing lab. i guess it used to be a big local name until 2011 when they were bought out. but this company is getting massive growth though. how. why. are they breaking the backs of their slave labor? they have a reputation for Precision and Accuracy. like they are getting certifications and accreditations and testing car and plane and parts and shit where failure could mean people die. you cant really cut corners on that……………..can you? well sure you can. you just determine the limit of acceptable risk. how many wrongful death lawsuits are you willing to deal with. how many millions of dollars per year can you afford for this type of shit hahaha. its all abotu acceptable risk. risk management. im sure they have lawyers. in house corporate counsel. the company is worth at least 1 billion dollars hahahaha. well that includes 50 facilities. it damn well BETTER be worth over a billion! i mean shit the facility im going to tomorrow has to be worth at least…..10 million? they do like 30 different tests and shit. shit isnt cheap.

changed the posting schedule of this blog, to post on wednesday, saturdays, and sundays. figuring people have more time to read on the weekends, so, fresh posts on saturday AND sunday. and then one during the busy week hehehehe.  with a bunch of extra posts around crimbo and new years as a GIFT to muh LOYAL READERS hahahaha.

aug 30

940 am, all showered and shaved and dressed up ready to go to interview, leave in 10 or 15 minutes, maybe have a ridiculous coffee anxiety poop again hahaha. why not.

you basically got to give them the confidence and be the most positive, can do person ever. and that was really lacking last week for the IT job i really wanted. this job today i am kinda meh. but its another interview towards muh goal hahaha. number 18.5 hahaha. gotta get to 25. maybe 30. maybe 40. hahahaha.

gene wilder dead? thats kinda sad. he was truly funny and talented and i feel he had real integrity and i wish he did more in his old age. was he a J? I just assume he was, but i am not 100% sure. I know I’ve looked it up before. he isnt screamingly J like mel brooks.

yes he was. totally J. not really suprised there. looks like he had alzheimers. i did not know that.

AYO HOL UP. If he was so DEVASTATED by his wife gilda radners death in 1989 that he retired from acting, and i thought they had True Luv….. then why the hell did he get married to his fourth wife in 1991? a paltry 2 years later? Gilda Radner should be rolling in her grave! that is like him taking a dump on her grave!

i couldnt imagine the Luv Of My Life DYING tragically of cancer, and then me getting MARRIED to a new woman TWO years later!


but what do you expect out of a damn J? hahahaha.

i guess i dont know the full story but that is still a little suspect. when i lost the luv of my life it took a full year for me to stop hating all women ahahahaha. and so now a year from now, i need to be MARRIED, after finding another good woman, falling in luv, getting to know them, etc.

a new low of 137.0 pounds today, that is nice. i guess i would like to get down to 130. before i said 135, now i say 130. maybe i am anorexic hahahahahahahaha.

had interview with the testing company. huge warehouse crammed with tons of machines and stuff. did they say my number was too high or too low with the number I gave them in the application? I then reiterated my range as 12 to 14 today. the two managers were nice enough. nothing funny in the interview. except the chair I was sitting in kinda sucked and made me look shorter than I am. and I am a damn MANLET as it is. I shoulda just made a Joke and then switched it with another chair. I was wearing muh suit. they were wearing polo shirts with the company logo.

dear gmail, do you have a feature to list the UNREAD (bold) messages? that would make a lot of sense if you like archive or move messages to folders….but havent read them yet.

you gotta type is:unread

i mean i can do this, but normies really cant, and even thats not the point. GOOGLE should have a better UX. UI. whatever. hahahaha.

i mean the interview went ok. better than the shitty one last monday. i tried to be confident and positive. if you can’t be super confident, at LEAST be POSITIVE as FOOK. I was pretty positive and somewhat confident.

so what WAS the pay? 13 an hour? seomthing around that. there are also benefit, health insurance, 401k, time off.

company is in GROWTH AND DEVELOPMENT phase which means very busy. high prob of overtime. might involve going to a place 40 miles away. main facility is only 7 miles away. i was unaware of the 40 miles place. heh. it seemed like less than 50% of the time youd be going out there.

i had plenty of questions for them, i tried to act interested, tried to show i knew a little bit about the company, that i did my Homework and Due Diligence. I mean all job search advice tells you to do this. and I Do Do it!!!!!!!

but how do I do it compared to the other 5 people they are interviewing?

it was 5 or 6 other people interviewing they said.

finally got my TRS T shirt. it looks really good hahahahaha. apparently it was a small company that received its biggest order ever, so the guy was Busting His Ass to produce 500 shirts or whatever. well good. he seems happy for the business and has not complained about TRS being racist and he’s too good to take lots of money from racists.

some guy on the Despair Forums messaged me about being Alt Right, and I got all excited, and babbled for a little bit. he responded and I am trying to feel him out. It is safe to say we are in pretty different areas of the alt right. shit I think this guy might even be BLACK, hahahahahahahahahaha.

well then he is a black with his head on right hahahaha. he believes trump could help the blacks more than hillary, and i agree.

but yeah i am not really gonna be able to talk with a black about huhwhyte nationalism hahahaha.

hahahahaha and i thought alt right was just a DOGWHISTLE for “IM A WHITE RACIST!!!! WINK WINK!!!”

so i got excited to find another white racist……when in fact he is possibly a black nonracist. OH WELL. at least he is a Rightist!




oct 31 thurs, 8.21pm

well i have an afternoon shift, lemme just tell ya it has been DEAD since about 6:30 pm, jeezum crow. This is about 90000000000000000000000000000000000 more chill than when I usually underwork in the morning: 90000000 more customers, noise, AND micromgt. here, I am king of the castle, but feel I should be getting paid less. heh. or get paid MORE for the morning. SUCH a difference. ORDERS OF MAGNITUDE. just wanted to officially state that.

also wanted to officially state that as of OCt 2013 I think I am up 2000 chips on pokerstars. Because: they start you out with 2000 chips. I lost that pretty fast, like in 1 day, not used to their tables, prob went to a higher stakes table and was fast and loose just to see what would happen when you run out of chips. Would you have to pay cash to buy play chips? No, as soon as you lose it all, they just give you 2000 more, for free, like they SHOULD.

So now I just combine the two and say they started me out with 4000 chips, this just makes sense. and I turned that 4000 into 6000, playing only at the bottom of the barrel tables: 1&2 blinds, and 200 buy in MAXIMUM. You cannot bring more than 200 chips to the table!!!

So, 2000 “dollar”  “profit” in something like 3 weeks. 21 days. Kinda close to muh $100 a day rule. NOT BAD, UH???? playing against real people, and not getting any “bonus chips” from the house, not that the moron real players need any push to Start Betting.

* Protip: Go on the internet and see if you can find any local meetups for people who play The Nerdiest Games in the World, like Dungeons and Dragons or The Settlers Of Catan. Then meet up with them, bring a case of semifancy beer or booze, and boom, instant social life for you. The women, if there are any, and 90% chance there won’t be, will be so ugly you couldn’t even do them doggystyle, but we gotta Move The Goalposts for this one, Manage Expectations, and let me tell you the objective with THIS protip was NEVER to meet women, but to just go from Friendless Neet to Nonneet with a Social Life and Male (Dork) Friends. You want to meet women, then just start lifting and acting like an Alpha. Be Masculine.

*Use “MOVE THE GOALPOSTS” in your next Job Interview, o god that’s a great faggy buzzword. Just GET OUT IN FRONT OF IT and MOVE THE GOALPOSTS. PLEASE ADVISE.

* Get a Hotel Room by yourself for the night and DO MUSHROOMS. That might give you a different perspective on life, Reset Your Brain. Warning: if you are taking SSRI’s, this might flood your brain with Too Much Serotinin and You will DIE. So don’t do that. Do Cold Turkey off SSRIs beforehand, get those out of your system, and maybe do some Hillbilly Heroin with the Mushrooms just so you’re more chilled out going into it. Warning: Don’t Do Drugs. This is just for hypothetical, fictional purposes only.

* Or just get a hotel room for the night and tell some 26yo nonhooker that you’ll pay her to make a pr0n with you, then do it, comfortable with the fact that she’s not an official hooker and might look better than such, unless you have a decent hooker selection in your area. And then do her doggystyle, reverse cowgirl, and seated reverse cowgirl, but do NOT let her SOYF unless she passes the HNNNGGGGG test.

* Get a Rain Slicker or Poncho that you can wear while Walking In the Rain, it prob won’t get destroyed as easily as an umbrella on a windy day.

nov 3 sun

compelled to write today because of dream had last night starring Girl 4. First Fell in True Marriage Babbies Family Lifelong Monogamous Luv with Girl 4 in 2005, 8 years ago, I was young then, not old. The dream was basically just me Cuddling with her, I don’t even think there was Making OUt. Just straight cuddling, and her smiling and being happy to cuddle with me. This was notable because she was a total Cold Fish, suspected virgin, asexual, possible dyke if anything, qualities that surfaced again in Girl 7. But I prob liked Girl 4 a teensy bit better, in some ways, maybe she was my favourite girl ever. Anyway point is, she didn’t go around cuddling with dudes, with anyone, so for her to do this dream cuddling with me was a real big deal.

I felt like the worlds happiest alpha, this was the #1 thing I wanted out of life, and now that I had it/her, I could start living, dominating and succeeding in career, life, etc, with her by muh side.

Then for part 2 of the dream, I had a real busy long day, but it was ok, because I knew I was going to see her at the end of it all and we would cuddle again. No sitting on muh face, no reverse cowgirl, no doggystyle, just straight virgin cuddling.

This is how you know you’re in true luv with a grill – cuddling with her is more fun than banging some rando.

I think near the end The Seed Of Doubt started to creep in, like: when’s this gonna end? when’s the sh1t gonna hit the fan? when’s she gonna dump me? when’s the day gonna come that I DON’T have her to come home to and cuddle with at the end of a long day? I think it might be coming sooner than I’d like, I worry I like her more than she likes me, etc.

I don’t recall that I did get to cuddle with her a second time in the dream, I just woke up.

So when you have a dream like that, it brings the grill back to life after 8 years. (Although to be fair, I was prob still semi in love w her throughout 2006 as well, and only 2007 that the luv started to fade.

So that was kinda weird, esp when Girl 7 was the most recent Girl, and I haven’t felt that “Lovin Feelin” since Girl 7 “dumped” me (hehehehe) in Oct 2012, over a year ago. Now I just want to bang grills. 18yos, 21 yos, and now 26 yos. bang bang bang, no respect or liking or luv or cuddling.. just being a decadent filthy animal. this bothers me a little and not a lot, but you’re damn right I would much prefer to have a grill like girl 4 or girl 7, and damned if you can’t get reminded of that every once in a while through a Poignant Dream. Thankfully does not happen more than once every couple months tho, thank GOD.

anyway I screwed it up with Girl 4 because I was a loser who drank too much and didn’t have a Career Plan; I screwed it up with Girl 7 because I was an OLD loser with no career plan even though I had quit drinking by then.  And I was not MASCULINE or Alpha enough with either of them. Lessons Learned!