LOW NUMBER, GOOD FATHER

apr 22

well met with the old friend and thank GOD he was on good behavior yesterday and did not drink at all. not at all. not before i arrived, i didnt have to blow into his breathalyzer, he didnt drink at dinner, didn’t drink afterwards, so, i got everything i had hoped for. when he doesnt drink and is a normal person like this, then i dont MIND hanging out with him! maybe he went and pounded vodka right after i left. but hopefully not. and i would almost be able to tolerate that, as long as i didnt see it. not that that would be good.

as a kind of bonus i tried to Red Pill him on Porn because he watches too much of that. I gently explained how it can warp your mind in ways you dont even realize. who is making this? WHY are they makign this? is it NORMAL for women to stuff huge things up their ass? do normal women do that? do normal men want to see that? did you always want to see that when you were like 13 years old? i stopped watching porn and it is the best decision I ever made. how about lets just do a fun experiment here and you try to stop for 30 days and see what happens.

oh hell no, not 30 days, i dont want to do that.

well why not? why would that be so bad? 30 days without porn, is it really that hard? why do you want to watch it so bad? isnt that interesting? is that normal? is that the way humans should be? who benefits from turning us into weird perverts?

ok, how about a week then. can you try one week for me.

i tried to sell him on one week. dont think it will work but if i can get him to think of the joo rubbing his hands saying GOOD GOYIM, then thats a victory for me. I explained that image and told him to think of that next time he wants to look at porn, which is like every fooking day.

do you really need to look at porn every day? every WEEK?

really once you stop for a month, you dont WANT to look at it any more. youre like this is gross and wrong, this is turning me into a jooish pervert. this is bad. TURN THAT SHIT OFF.

and you WILL SEE some porn eventually, inevitably, on the internet, or from these fooking GOYS who are watching porn every day. he talks about all the 40 year men at his job who are always watching porn and talking about secs.

im like wow, these are 40 year old white men. do you really think thats normal? dont they have CHILDREN? would you want your DAUGHTER doing porn, or being a hooker, or a stripper, or working at hooters, or even just being a basic slut??? would you really not care?

yeah but i dont have a daughter and I dont want to have kids.

well imagine you DID have a daughter. and then we can Explore why you dont want to have kids.

because its no benefit to me, plus the world sucks. which is basically shorthand for saying i don’t believe I can raise winner kids in such a sucky world. which is fair enough. I dont think I could either. not least of all because I cant even take care of MYSELF, how could I take care of a wife and children.

maybe spending more time withe white babies would help him.

not that i needed to spend time with white babies to come to the conclusion that having hwyte babies is a great thing.

anyway i was just thrilled he was not drinking. I heavily suggested that it also doesnt do him or anyone else any good to be raging falling down drunk.

so, all in all, better than expected! thank GOD!

he is also somewhat redpillable because he doesnt like blacks and race mixing hahahaha. so i jumped on those topics. but really tried to make the porn connection.

when you are watching porn almost every day, you think its NORMAL. you cant see how FOOKED UP it is! just another thing which makes it SOOOOOOOOO terrible!

oh im just a prude. well kind of yes. but what the fook is a PRUDE anyway. anyone short of being a total pornified jooish pervert? then we SHOULD ALL BE PRUDES.

ok its one thing when omega virgins watch porn and cant talk to gurls. WHAT ABOUT MARRIED GUYS or guys in a monog rel? like muh porn watching friend. he is married, his wife totally knows he watches porn, im sure shes not thrilled with it, but she just accepts it as normal and doesnt think its a huge deal because hes not watching 10 hours of porn a day.

sad! and i think a lot of women think the same way. oh, ALL GUYS JUST WATCH PORN. ACCEPT IT. its not worth getting mad about.

heh. that is not the proper attitude. although i wish they took that laiisez faire, im not going to overreact attitude with other things that they tend to overreact on, like everyhting hahahaha.

so youre a 40 year old man and still have SOME secs drive. but your wife is a fat slob that you dread having to bang once a month like al bundy. (but his wife was attractive!!!! (but i think also a jooess.))

probably some of these wives are like, yeah i know im fat and gross, and i just cant compete with these hot 20 year old gurls in porn, so, whatever, just look the other way.

im talking full blown working class whyte people here. the ones that work for a living and arent pill popping single parent household trash, but people who struggle every day to make barely enough money, have wives who get fat, and kids that turn white trash just because their father is working 60 hours a week and doesnt have TIME to lead his home.

well then i say he should drop down to 40 hours a week and spend 20 more hours a week leading his home, and just save money elsewhere. no cable, no expensive pickup trucks and suv’s, no eating at restaurants, move into a hwyte pride single wide in a rural area.

but what if you have medical problems and thats why you have to work 60 hours a week and be an Absent Father?

I say when your work INTERFERES with you being a good father….then change your work. you have to work 40 hours because thats the rule. But I would say not a SECOND more if it interferes with the time you spend with your FAMILY.

dont slave away working 80 hours a week saying your doing it for your family. i know you believe it too! its a jooish LIE! youve been DUPED! you would be worth more to your family in the long run to spend that time with them, and not at work. just make less money and make your kids wear used clothes. this will keep your daughters from become strippers, sluts and mudsharks, and your sons from being neet white  trash pill popping phaggot loser deadbeats! white trash, in short!

ok LIFE is inherently competitive, there are winners and losers. this is why WE need to be competitive, despite what they tell you in joo school. schjool hahahaha. tell all the kids to not be competitive so they can all be losers in the real world.

so what about decent, fair, hwyte Productive Enterprise? in contrast to scamming, lying, cheating, exploiting Jooish Capitalism? Yes, Hwyte Productive Enterprise is ALSO competitive. There are also winners and losers.

its not inherently nonwhite or jooish to be competitive or to have winners and losers in other words. even in an all hwyte country there would be winners and losers and that would be natural and normal and nothing wrong with that.

spencer in his auburn speech said “THE STRENGTH OF THE WOLF IS IN THE PACK; THE STRENGTH OF THE PACK IS IN THE WOLF” which i’m not sure who said that first.

it was a good speech, do recommend. would have liekd more out of mike enoch.

now azzmador is getting very black pilled. he says theres no demand for his work because nobodys donating to his show. 40000 downloads and only 6 bucks in donations in the past month. and i was 5 bucks of that hahahahahahahahaha.

i think he might be bipolar but he is still a great man. i hope he cools off and comes back.

i think most people would gladly pay like 25 cents to download, but thats just really hard to arrange.

this huge “woman hater” on DS says you can turn even “nice gurls” into huge sluts by just asking them to touch your D. then say how bout giving the tip a nice little kiss. then next thing you know shes gobbling the knob, which are “womens little white lies” in that they dont count for anything, they dont MEAN anything, oh theyve only FOOKED 37 guys, but theyve SUCKED HUNDREDS.

well if its so easy to get them to suck, and so easy to convert the BJ to full blown fooking, how come they havent FOOKED hundreds of guys too? if its so EASY to convert a BJ to fooking? something doesnt make sense there. but i do really like the guys baby steps approach. i just wish women werent such big sluts. he says just make women suck you for doing small favors like driving them somewhere, teaching them english, buying them lunch, etc.

show them that you know that they suck guys as a form of CURRENCY. youre WISE TO THEIR SCHEME, and now YOU WANT IN! saying the whole thing with an Alpha SMIRK, like you cant fool me, ya little slut. now blow me. come on. just the tip.

he says average white guys bang around 20 gurls by their late 20s. betas bang 1 or 2 or 0. alphas bang 70 or more.

great thread. tried to download whole thing, cant figur eout how. here are some choice quotes:

INSANELY LONG STRING OF IMPORTANT QUOTES

guy1:
I remember when I was 27, just got my first IT job.

I walked around in my dockers and button down shirt and had a “real job” for the first time in my life. I was finally ready to meet a wife and settle down now that I had a stable job. lol

It was like f00king kryptonite, no 19 year old woman or any woman for that matter wanted to date me.

Took me a while to realize, yeah women like men with jobs but you have to make WAAAAAY more than her for it to matter.

Before that I was a musician who bilked institutions out of shitloads of money to buy practice time. I got WAY more female attention, even from “good” girls.. lol

Now I’m older and especially today my lifestyle is impressive to them simply because it is out of reach for someone their age.

 

guy2:
The White men have no chance with that little whore generally because they’re beta cucks who don’t know what they’re doing.

But if we have white Sharia, none of that will matter.
Core message there is not giving a shit if you impress some jumped up piece of ass.

The less you care the smoother the sailing.

guy1:
Well also women have different standards than men.

You’d have to either be top of the pile or bottom of the pile. lol

Either a ken doll with comparable genetics and a massive income/bad boy status or a f00king refugee from Africa. lol
Yes, I find that to be true.

When you get older you naturally care less so it’s kind of like “wait, he’s not trying to f00k me”. lol

Or she starts acting like a bitch and you make fun of her voice and shit and she ends up laughing. Before i might have got mad and stormed off or got embarrassed.

A lot of young guys don’t have that kind of game yet, they don’t know how to handle an annoying bitch in a positive way.

I think it’s just harder to not care in your twenties unless you’re killing it already.

Definitely personality is a huge part of attraction and you just get all that experience dealing with difficult people over the course of your lifetime.

guy2:
Well when your aspirations and ego is caught up in a woman’s attention, you’re f00ked.
That said you will still need to chase a female at least in the very beginning by talking to the dumb whore and f00king her etc.

Then you can coast.

This is why musicians get pvssy, they’re in high visibility situations where the sluts approach them.

And women love music because it panders to their meaningless abstract emotional pea brains.
So they already feel an emotional connection to the musician.

guy1:
The thing with women, especially the better looking ones…

If there’s anything even slightly “off” about your personality and you’re not super good looking…adios. It’s really brutal. lol

And a lot of people of the newer generations..some of them are great to talk to but some of them just get really awkward.

Like there will be a pause and I’ve had some of them just kind of run away because they got anxious. They play so many video games they’re sort of autistic.

Bad social skills will tank you with women. I even have a list of mannerisms to avoid like putting your hands in your pockets and shaking your leg…I used to get rejected all the time until I fixed them one by one.

Every woman I’ve ever dated got pissed at me if I put my hands in my pants pockets. lol

guy2:
If you can’t eye f00k them and hold the tension with controlled paced speech and allow pregnant pauses…. Then you’re f00ked.

Thing is, all these Casanova arts are irrelevant if we have white Sharia law.

guy1:
Yeah just brutal directness and knowing when and how.

At this point in life I’m confident to say to any woman I know reasonably well that I would like to f0ck them or have them watch me masturbate. I’ll detail everything I want to do to them with a smile while they look absolutely shocked. lol

Actually I’ve never had a woman turn that down. If they turned down sex I’d say “well I’d like you to watch me, I think that’s fair” and she’d say “ok”. While she’s watching me I’d make sure she at least touches it, squeeze her boobs and anything else I can get away with. lol

A couple weeks later after watching me she’d call and we’d meet up and it would happen. I’ve done that a lot, it’s pretty easy.

She thinks it’s ok to watch but she doesn’t realize she’s getting slow boiled, females are very susceptible to this. Get your foot in the door and it opens easily.

Once she’s seen me naked and she’s touched it and had my hands all over her there’s little point in resisting and we are no longer just friends.

If I got resistance I say things like…

Well I think you should watch, that’s really the least you can do…

No, I think that’s more than fair…I must say I really do.

That’s fine if you don’t, I’m just saying I want to…(more graphic descriptions of ravishing)

It’s so funny that this shit works…anyway that’s why everything is so f00ked up.
Basically in a nutshell kids, sexual harrassment absolutely f00king works.

That’s why it’s illegal for white men only.

Ever noticed that? lol
There was this blonde bitch I worked with.

When she worked at my company I never made a move even though I knew she liked me.

As soon as she got canned I showed her my coch and banged her and it started with making her watch me whack off exactly as I described it.

She wanted me to do something for her so I said, “well I have something I want you to do for me”.
Also if there is a girl by the side of the road or stranded at a gas station…this happened a lot in Florida.

Girls would ask me for gas money, help moving or all sorts of dumb shit they can’t do themselves.

I’d say, sure but I want a quick BJ. Same deal. lol

And if you want to marry her you can just give her your phone number, there’s no such thing as dating anymore. lol

But who wants to marry these sluts, that’s the thing.
I’m not getting likes on this because most men don’t want to believe it but it’s true.

When you talk the way I described, they stop putting on the act because they know you know the real deal. You’re not some sucker they an screw around with, they know that I know they’ve done this shit before.

These are not freakish women either, they’re ordinary kinds of women a normal man will date.

But I will never date them unless they can do something for me like clean my house or make me dinner, give me money, etc.

And I certainly would not sacrifice my freedom to get children from their diseased wombs and kiss their herpes ridden mouths. lol
The realization that most women will pay for basic services with sex is the ultimate red pill.

In Brazil, guys who teach english will tell you the girls over there will offer to f00k you for English lessons rather than pay. It’s not so much that they don’t have the money, they like sex and if they think you’re cute at all (esp if you are white American) they will gladly f00k you.

Women in Brazil or anywhere in SA are actually incredibly f00king easy for Americans…also in their culture it’s normal to just f0ck all the time. lol

Sometimes if I really wanted someone and they wouldn’t budge, I’d just offer them money. I’d say look I know you’re not that into me but I’ll give you $1000 and I’ll never tell anyone I promise.

Yup.

guy2:
Never do a female “friend” favours without at least getting a blowjob in the exchange.
Very true.

Blowjobs to women are like little White lies, usually in their mind they rationalise it as not counting as sex.

Always get women to give you blowjobs, this is not a sex preference thing, this is a understanding women thing!

 

another

The funniest sex story I have that illustrates your point is this girl I’d been on a couple of dates with.

Very immature, very shy, very scared at the idea of f0cking etc etc, kept using her Female friend as an excuse not to be alone with me.

Finally got her alone in my car, had given her and a friend a lift somewhere.

Kept my little whore in the car to say goodnight etc, the friend has left, drive the car around the corner into an alley. Middle of The night.

Kissing leads to heavy petting, I go for a blowjob, she’s very self conscious, won’t do it.

So I pull it out, hard, start jerking it off in front of her face.

Then my favourite line of all time gets used….

“Baby, just kiss the tip, just once and I’ll stop….”

Anyway, she kissed the tip, did a lot more and swallowed a load.

Moral of the story, women work with a gradual breakdown of resistance, small victories lead to winning the war.

later:

The average normal white guy has f0cked around 10 to 20 girls by the time he’s in his late twenties.

Extreme betas are virgins or limping on one or two sexual experiences in their twenties

Then you have sexual alphas who will have f0cked anywhere between 70 to 300 girls.

Then you have sodomites who will generally have f0cked anywhere between 500 to 3000 men by middle age.

Negros are known to have high std rates as they f0ck quickly and frequently with strangers.

Sorry I don’t​have the J00ish sources for the academia f4gs out there. I have a brain and life experience instead.

OK THE END

I have tried to protect their anonymity by changing their forum names haha.

that was some of the best red pilling on the WQ ive seen in a long time. now those might be the two most “woman hating” guys on the bbs, even moreso than anglin himself. i read their shit and i say, DEAR GAWD, i really really really really really hope not all women are like that!

then we could assume the average 27 year old woman has been with 25 guys!!!!!!!!

i wonder if these tactics would scare the TRULY good women away. that the second you pull your D out, they say fook you you negro pervert and LEAVE. not be all COY and shit.  THAT would be the only way for the woman to pass this test.

but yeah i copied and pasted so much because there was THAT much worth copying and pasting between these two gentlemen today hahaha. so i thank them for their great talk. i am not trying to shame them. i am trying to THANK them!

adolf clapping.gif

besides there is word of many threads disappearing from the forum. im sure mods are deleting some but ive also heard the hardware just cant HANDLE all the traffic and action and shit just gets corrupted and not backed up, its unbackupable or something, even weev cant figure it out because he’s not good with rails and docker and god knows what other bullshit tech. this is why i hate technology as ted kaczynski did. weev made the analogy of its like asking a russian literature phd, you’re an expert in language and lingustics, can you translate this spanish thing.

that even a super smart guy like WEEV would be as about as useful as ME just because he doesnt know RAILS. well, thats where I am on EVERY language.

and then the computer fooks up and its impossible to fix it, and even MORE impossible to determine WHY it fooked up. computers and tech are SO COMPLEX you literally need a phd to make even a LITTLE sense out of one type of computer. ITS NOT WORF IT.

this is partially what led me to Give Up on “IT” and Programming Courses and Computer Science. the shit will drive you literally insane. in a way computers are just as jooish, evil, and crazy as women hahahahaha.

lesson: i guess become a diff type of engineer. i’d lean towards mechanical. but if you live near a lot of oil, try chemical. also mechanical would be good there.

actually, just do mechanical because robots are just gonna be more and more important. automation goy! MACHINES.

but yeah. i would not want to marry a woman who pretends to be all innocent, and then she falls for the Pushing Thru Resistance, Just The Tip bullshit. and has done that with 20 guys. do you want to marry a woman who has fooked or even just sucked 20 guys?

makes me sad abotu That Woman, because she used to be truly innocent. but now i could totally see her pulling that coy bullshit as she quickly increases her number from 2 to 20 over just a few short years. DISGUSTING!

oh well its her life to fook up, she didnt have a good father, SHE DIDNT HAVE A CHANCE. SAD!

but i had nothing BUT chances: good family, ok education, decent friends. so I MUST have been a bad seed! well, i wasnt TOUGH. and i got too into alcohol and MJ from a young age.

bla bla bla weve heard this all before.

chicken wings might be a miracle food. not terribly hi cal, and very high in protein. less calories than beef. although beef is still pretty miraculous!

but yeah. married and LTR men who look at porn regularly and both man and his woman think this is perfectly normal, because all men look at porn regularly. this is a fooking serious problem that is maybe 14th on the list of other very serious problems hahaha but its one that is in my bailiwick hahaha.

yeah but its not STOPPING these men from having hwyte children, so…..its NOT really serious then?

(many of these men have hwyte children.)

uhhh well i would say it is def harming their rel with their wife, and possibly harming their skills as father. do you think the ideal father is beating off to 18 year old gurls 3 times a week?

i mean im sorta glad these men still have any secs drive.

but i think some of them dont really have a secs drive, they just “like looking” at porn and they ARENT EVEN BEATING OFF TO IT. just ogling and gazing and staring at it. this might be even WORSE than jerking off to it!

i mean what do NORMAL PEOPLE do?  i dont even know! i dont know many normal people! Normies! my porn watching friend is def not normal. I am not normal. he talks about his tuff guy male work mates who are all watching porn.

are they really ALL watching porn, or do the porn watchers just talk about porn with each other?

i really hate to think its NORMAL for All Normal Men to watch porn.

the two men i work with are very normie and very respectable. you think THEY watch porn? I would think they DONT!

and if they do, i imagine they would feel ASHAMED about it, as they SHOULD, and they prob wouldnt do that more than like once every couple months at most.

but these are men in their 40s and 50s. i am more concerned with the porn viewing of men in their 20s and 30s.

well i mean if 40 year old men are using porn regularly, thats obviously not good. its prob worse, becuase at that age, they should KNOW BETTER.

ever try explaining to an enthusiastic porn user why they shouldnt use porn? for you, its OBVIOUS. for THEM, its equally obvious – why WOULDNT you want to see hot young gurls doing really hot shit??!?! and wouldnt you like to be the LUCKY GUY fooking that crazy hawt tattooed suicide gurl in the ass hahaha.

porn makes you think stuff is HOT that you SHOULDNT THINK IS HOT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! stuff that you say, damn, thats PERVERTED, no thank you.

but now obviously, all fetishes are perfectly OK as long as everybody CONSENTS.

absolutely porn is all a part of that. NORMALIZING PERVERSION.

dont call it a FETISH, call it PERVERSION. ABOMINATION. be ashamed, be very ashamed.

i mean ill probably always have my own perversion of wanting ot bang gurls in the ass. if i had a gf i would probably try to bang her in the ass. i def wanted to bang That Woman in the ass. i dont think this is gonna go away. but really im just happy as long as im not watching perverted porn on the topic. i mean i havent intentionally watched porn in well over a year. sought it out for the purposes of looking at it for at least 10 solid minutes and jerking off.

so its hard to put myself back in the mindset of someone who does just that several times a week! i dont want to be in that mindset! but its good that understand the people Im trying to help hahaha.

 

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CAPTAIN SAVE A CHILD

mar 22

heh.  i was thinking about how ridiculous it is to be rejected by something you want to be part of. like i want to give you a donation, nope we wont take your donation because you suck. thats even worse than we wont take YOU, but well take your money. what about just stop sending us money. but you still do good work and i want to support you.

i mean with WOMEN, you say, welp, i tried, i struck out, you dont want me, i’ll just move on. but what if WEEV rejects me and says he doesnt want my money? that doesnt make weev’s work less valuable! i would still want to support it!

well this is not gonna happen, i just got amused because i thought it might happen hahahaha. no weev is not gonna reject me or my money. it would just be funny and ridiculous if he did!

well it would be CUCKY to continue donating to him if he did. so i would say i luv what he does but he doesnt want my money, so i stopped giving.

anyway its not werf talking about because it didnt even happen. it shouldnt happen. its worrying about absolutely absurd shit.

did you know you could get a DUI for passing out drunk and Sleeping It Off in the drivers seat of a car? this is what happened to chris cantwell, who i am kinda liking more and more. he is a better writer than i guessed he would be, and he is kinda like me in that as a young man he rejected the authority of the CHURCH and was very rebellious and he liked drinking and smokin MJ and didnt want to stop because it was too much fun. then he started getting DUI’s and seeing that drug people were degen losers. but he kept drinking because now he had a drinking problem. anyway he went to jail for 2 dui’s, that sucks. some states its 3, i guess in his state it was 2! damn! i might become a libertarian too hahahaha. but now he is moving away from that and is becoming more and more racist, which i like. he struggles like crazy and he is trying so hard. i can sympathize and Empathize. he always has trouble with some damn dirty sluts. probably because deep down he doesnt believe he deserves a good white women, so he gets these crazy dirty mulatto sluts.  but he does deserve a good hwite woman!!!!

holy shit. when i get up at 5 am, like CLOCKWORK i want to take a MAD powernap around 3:30, 4 pm.  i would not even be done with an Honest Days Work by then!

GLR’s “hwyte power” is quickly losing momentum. it starts off very strong in the first 2 chapters but then drops off. still very readable and not at all bad, but just a big dropoff in momentum. still worth buying and reading though. just not as fun as it was in the beginning. maybe a joo editor would have helped him with his pacing hahahaha.

there is a new autistic muppet starting on sesame street in april. i should not be surprised. actually i AM surprised theres not a Transexual Muppet yet. honestly. that would be the best way to sell such a thing to children. honestly! i dont even think there is a GAY muppet, that is REALLY shocking. i cant believe theres never been a gay sesame street muppet in the past 10 years. what a great way to turn hwyte kids into gay sissies who will never reproduce.

he spends a lot of time talking about Communiss in Cuba and china and the communist connection with oswald and the JFK assassination, whcih to be sure, were uge stories when he wrote the book. i think he is saving up most of his joo hate until like page 100 or so. just wish he’d get out with it earlier.

tempted to look at reddit relships but fighting the minor urge cuz i know its gonna be filled with leftist hamster wimmin and omega sissie bitchbois apologizing to them hahahahaha and begging for table scraps.

mean the relships arent rocket science when the gurl LIKES you and is WILLING to make an effort to be with you. thats all you need. then you can make all the mistakes you want and she will keep giving you chance after chance after chance after chance. none of this one strike and youre out shit. that just means you NEVER had even ONE chance. so i guess i should feel reassured by that. because once i thought i had ONE chance hahaha. you NEVER get just ONE chance. unless you do ahahaha. who cares. god damn negro fooking degenerate pig wh0res. nothings sacred with these degenerate jooish pigs.

ok ok i am being negative again. negative nancy. have to have a more positive attitude. it was an overly negative attitude and negative thinking that got me into this MESS.

how to stop negative thoughts? you identify the thought as negative, then say STOP! YOU SHALL NOT PASS!!!!!!! and just say that to most of your thoughts because most of them are probably negative. about how women are horrible, or how you are a weak soft untough neet virgin loser who cant handle the tough adult world.

you can keep the negative thoughts about joos because they really are awful hahahahahahaha. but i would recommend thinking about some pleasant things to balance that out.

some people feel about GOD and JESUS and RELIGION the way I feel about The Hwyte Race. Good for them I guess.  I wish I had that kind of faith but I dont.  as long as they have a healthy sense of racial hygiene they dont bother me. when you start adopting africans for jesus youve gone too far. or missionarying in africa . well i mean the mormons do that and then they STILL have 10 white kids by age 23, so…..good for them. hope they stay that way.  i have heard unsubstantiated rumors that mormons are darkening hehehe. i hope not.

nothing against the christians. i am technically one. its not an inherently bad message. i dont even think its inherently jooish. although some people make it pretty jooish. and that’s bad. obviously.

franco sinazi with his new song which is a parody of “strangers in the night” and is very very very catchy. play it for normies and see if they notice. negros beaners and skypes hahahaha.

just waiting to go to damn bed. i might not have done much but i probably did my best hahahahahahaha. well i guarantee you i didnt do my worst. and at least im not a neet anymore. and i am not a virgin hahaha.

mar 23

wow a metal show that i immediately said YES IM GOING I HAVE TO GO I AM EXICITED TO MAKE AN EFFORT TO GO because it was on a good night and most importantly, a good location. great location on a good night. the band taake. now i dont know much about current year taake, but I do know that the first 3 taake albums are very good. and that taake/hoest made insensitive remarks about mudslims and once got drunk and drew a SVASTICA on his chest hahahahahahaha. he is a drunk degenerate but I feel he might be a little racist.

he couldnt keep up the impossibly high average set by his first three albums, but for those he earned his place in the pantheon and I will gladly get high energy about going to see him live in a few months. a honest Black Metal show. haven’t been to many of those. closest thing would be I saw mayhem once. mayhem counts as black metal hahahaha. are you kidding, mayhem totally counts as black metal.

i dont see why black metal shouldnt be “live” music.  I would luv to see any of muh fav black metal bands live. i would gladly go see deathspell omega play a shitty sloppy show hahahaha.

anyway. eavesdropped on great conversation between successful professionals about their college age kids. you just assume the kids are gonna get masters degrees, get good jobs, get married, have children.

well what if they dont. what if they fook up one of those. or like me, ALL of them.

the kids all have IDEAS of what they want to do. well i wanted to go to MED SKOOL but got cold feet on that so i started an ENGIN degree instead. i know to get a good paid internship after my second year of uni.

im an 18 year old gurl and i want to become a physician assistant and i know i have to get all a’s in college and go to a good grad school to do that, and i am prepared for all that. i know to never get a B, never to do drugs, never to get less than 3 good internships. these middle class parents set their kids up to succeed hahahaha.

well i wasnt set up to FAIL. i was given all the CHANCES to succeed but I didnt have enough personal agency or pushing. I needed someone to make bigger decisions for me because i didnt know how to make big decisions. i didnt want to go to grad school, i didnt even want to go to college, i just wanted to sm0ke MJ and jerk off to porn all day hahahahahahahahaha.

i mean what do you do as a concerned parent when your kid starts to fook up. do you say, well he’s old enough to start making his own mistakes, and hopefully learn from them? what if he doesn’t learn from them?

i wish i had been more of a normie like this guys kids hahahaha. i bet this 19 year old engineer nerd is actually a normie chad who has had a gf hahahaha. he will prob be successful even though he as a 19 year old boy likes sleeping in till noon sometimes. oh. i thought the RULE WAS, you have to get up at 4 am at the latest EVERY SINGLE DAY if you EVER wanted to be successful in life, ie, outcompete all the competition and get a sick 30k a year middle class job hahahaha.

basically, i was weirder than i thought i was hahahaha. i was SUPER weird. SUPER jelly of the NORMIES.

and maybe for normies, its not such a god damn neverending struggle to succeed. its not easy, they still work hard, they struggle some, but its not like madly thrashign just to tread water. they are not always on the verge of falling apart. otherwise more normies would fail.

well there’s plenty of failures too!

anyway weekend nao. took a benedryl. will take 2 valiums later. wouldnt mind some MJ. but not craving it as bad as i did 1 month ago thank god. I am still prepared to buy a huge quantity of it should the opportunity present itself.

i dont like how women make you all competitive hahahaha. i had a dream about some old friends, some really great guys i remember fondly. it wasnt until i was hanging out with them as a group with WOMEN that I became aware of the idea that, damn, these guys are COOLER than me, and would totally have an advantage over me for women. yeah it MAKES SENSE, they ARE cooler than me, I just wish I could hang out with these guys apart from these women. These are good guys and I dont want WOMEN to cause any DRAMA. but why should I be mad at the GUYS? and i wasnt. i was butthurt at the GURLS hahahahaha.

There never was any real drama, thank GOD.  i mean this is just the classic broes before hoes situation.

taake live. thats pretty cool though. i wont know the majority of the songs but i bet it will be good. hoest is known as a Good Performer. Intense. im sure there will even be qt yung gurls there because qt young gurls like metal nao, they have for like 6 years hahaha. maybe i can get some of hoests sloppy seconds hahahaha.  i know better than to want to marry a metal grrrrl hahahaha. not interested. expectations status: managed.

ate dinner, back, took valium, now sitting here drinking coffee, play some cards, this is the best time to do MJ but i dont have any. prob should not take valium then drink coffee, may be like throwing valium in the trash hahaha. oh well. whats done is  done.

being able to SELL stuff. being TOUGH. these are good LIFE SKILLS that will be valuable in ANY and EVERY job. its simple. the better you are at these things, the better you will do in life. DIRECT proportion. direct relationship. really its full blown CAUSE AND EFFECT, not just corrolation.  the younger you are when you learn how to SELL shit and to BE TOUGH, the better, because the easier it will be for you to MASTER these skills quickly.

i was always pretty weak at both.  i cant sell myself to women, cant sell myself to employers, cant sell my damn RACE to other members of my race. and yeah being TOUGH will help you SELL better too. sales.

how jooish is casablanca. i often watch TCM channel and see oldass movies. most of them are more jooish than i would like. hollywood was jooed since like the 1920s. since movies began they were jooed. casablanca. heavy themes of the natzees are the bad guys. evil natsees. well shit. do you expect a movie where the natsees are the GOOD guys? theres never been a single one. expectations. manage them.

but yeah he is lovelorn for ingrid bergman. not bad. he never wanted to see her again. what the hell happened between them in paris? she dumped him for lazlo? but she really luvs rick?

wirrten by joos, directed by a joo. its def watchable though. good cuddler with a good waifu hahaha if she doesnt fall asleep because its so old and boring and then leave you for a more EXCITING man.

also its CONFUSING. thats my fault because everything is CONFUSING to me, i have a learning disability called everythings confusing because i sm0ked too much w33d 10 years ago, so i can’t make sense, understand, or explain anything.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Casablanca_(film)

you know who WASNT jooish? HITCHOCK. WELLES.

bogart fought AGAINST the fascists in spain in casablanca. joos are always anti fascist. therefore, fascists are the good guys hahahaha. what was the most successful, long lived fascist state? how did croatia happen. was croatia ever “fascist”? what about sweden? norway was “occupied” but it wasnt technically an “axis” power. was sweden?

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sweden_during_World_War_II

it was “neutral” and unoccupied

maybe norway resented this?

i dunno its impossible for me to learn and to answer questions and understand situations at all , hahahaha

NOTHING MAKES SENSE. NOTHING. hahahaha. you can try to make sense of it, but you will fail.

had some diet red cherry mello yello today. when i used to drink soda i used to get code red or code blue mt dew. what the hell was the blue stuff called. VOLTAGE. omg. i was notorious for drinking mt dew VOLTAGE. best soda ever. but they didnt make a diet version. i didnt see if they had blue diet mello yello but they had red and i was happy with that.

of course diet soda is so crappy you dont like it as much. i just had 1 because i was at burger king and had a drink and they had one of those touch screen 50 flavors sodas. pretty amazing that. how the hell do these minimum wage people fix such a thing when its broken. there were white kids working there. probably because fast food is actually such a TOUGH job only white kids are SMART enough to HANDLE it. nonwhites are TOO DUMB FOR FAST FOOD JOBS.

i mean these are not easy jobs folks. you have a TON of shit to do, with no fookups. dealing with disgusting fat degen customers stuffing their fat opioid degenerate faces and bitching at these poor white kids.

808 pm. taking second valium.

NORMIES can get MJ rather easily because they are SOCIAL. but normies also dont become total p0theads. they are happy to just partake once in a while, in moderation, or a huge binge every couple months. that’s basically moderation.

so im saying degen p0theads are not normies??? in a way they ARENT!

so are normies winners or losers? i would say generally they are winners compared to losers and nonnormies! 28k might not seem like a huge winner…..but it really is! and prob most normies make arund that. a fast food manager makes that.

oh well. at least i am not fat any more. and i have a place to live. and a good fam. it just sucks that at one time i had a halfway decent MIND……and now i dont.  i mean i am not batshit schizophrenic thank GOD…..but i just feel like a confused idiot child mcuh of the time.

and i want to do MJ????? you think that will HELP this mental state? fook no, itll make it 14 times worse!!!!!

heh. it would be really fun to get blazed as fook and then go to that taake concert! and then just stay in the back. or maybe go right up front and give Roman Salutes to hoest so he knows I am down with the 14 words hahaha.

MAYBE there will be ANTIFA protesting the show like antifa protested marduk recently at some of their US shows because marduk Is Interested in Semi Fascist A E S T H E T I C S.  and they were never photographed with a svastica on their chest hahaha. thats more than enough to get you protested by jooish antifa.

at their best, taake is much less boring than marduk. marduk has like 1 classic song. taake has several and they are much more creative and brilliant than marduk’s 1 classic song (“christraping black metal” which just relies on 2 very catchy riffs.) taake has riffs that are very catchy, but still somewhat “weird”, and they piece 1400 riffs catchy but weird riffs together in a way that does not sound like riff salad masturbation like nile hahahaha. he has a good songwriting sense and a great production sense as well. but again all this kinda declined after the first 3 albums. also he comes from the same town as b00rtzum hahahaha. also he wears super grim corpse paint and convincingly pulls off grim and hate-filled.  also he waves a large norwegian flag sometimes, which suggests sympathies to Nationalism. that or he supports the marxist zionist ZOG traitors who runs norway now hahahaha and is a total NEOCOHEN.

pretty sure he is a drunk tho and might do other drugs. pretty degen.

i am cautiously optimistic it will be a fun show even if i only know 1 or 2 songs. he might even have a new album out now, who knows.

ok i guess he had a us tour in 2016 but did not play near me so i didnt miss anything.

ok, shining is also doing a us tour with REVENGE. not big on shining but i think REVENGE would be an awesome live show. and i would prob stay for shining hahaha even though they are totally degenerate and ridiculous.

sheeeeeeit that show is coming to town but in the worst possible venue, a venue i will avoid for being in a black ghetto and just the trashiest place in the trashiest neighborhood, where i have missed GOOD shows just because i didnt want to go to that shitty shitty club that even by Metal standards is ultra degenerate. i would go if someone else were driving and i cannot really arrange that. well shit maybe i could park in the nearest hwite neighboorhood and get an uber from there and back hahahahaha.

oh shit i dont have a smartphone so i cant get an uber hahahaha.

i mean this place is just no fun and a huge buzzkill anyway. and shining is degen AF, glorifying drugs and suicide. whereas revenge glorifies death, destruction, power, conquering, slaughtering, hellstorm, very very ultra masculine. but kinda degen because of their total nihilism and unfocused hate. lets just get drunk and hate everything. hate all humanity equally kind of misanthropy that has gone beyond mere despair.

i would prefer just to see revenge headlining in a smaller, nicer club.

and j. read is a BEAST of a drummer and basically i would just be going to see him in person doing his incredible stuff. and sometimes the guy from angel corpse plays with them, pete helmkamp, and he is a kewl dude. and probably less degen, more principled, less of a drunk hahaha. not sure if helmkamp is on this tour.

its not cool to be a drunk you guys. its worse than you ever imagined. stop fooking drinking. you are doing untold damage.

mar 24

bought the taake ticket. not tickets because i am going solo hahahaha. really dont have anyone i would like to go with. none of muh acquaintances would be remotely interested in spending 20 bucks to see a show they are not interested in. its really amazing all people dont go to Shows Solo. that they can find other people interested and who have the time available. even if i still associated with That Woman, i couldnt get her to go to this, and if i did, she would probably dump me for a tougher guy at the show, or hoest himself hahahaha.

well ya know i could very probably find some MJ among the metal people in the crowd or parking lot.

sweet might be able to buy 10 dollars of MJ in 2 months from now hahaha

ok adding to muh spreadhseet of BIG DATA ANALYTICS re sleep times. i have been marking when i go to BED, then best estimating when i actually FALL ASLEEP (ABOUT 45 minutes after I get into bed). it would only make SENSE to then mark when I wake up, and then use that to calculate an  average of how much sleep i am actually getting.

so i have started simply adding the wake up time, which on job days is 5 am. very consistent. on nonwork days it is maybe about 9:30 am.  so how does THAT affect the AVERAGE in other words? it looks like muh average now is 8.5 hours of sleep. i knew 7 wasnt enough. on Work Nights i am averaging about 7.5 hours. and then getting 10 to 11 hours on non work nights. so what does it all average out to??? probably about 8.5 to 9 hours. but a few more weeks of Big Data Analytics will help me get a better number. I always needed and sought out a lot of sleep. absolutely more than 8 hours.

dont know who is playing with taake. in UK he played with fen, who i have been meaning to check out, and with winterfylleth on the london show, who are very awesome and i would love if they did a us tour. been liking the UK Atmoblack in 2017 hahahaha. and Fen is right in that scene but havent listened to them. never heard anyone say anything bad about them. they are on muh list when i get bored with winterfylleth which will take a while hahaha. esp since i dont listen to music all the time like i did when i was young. have more important things to concern myself with. music is inherently decadent and soft ahahaha.  real people have to WORK to SURVIVE. you think the great men of history sat around and listened to music for hours each day? they maybe listened to a MINUTE of WAGNER and then went out and conquered the world. made white babies while listening to SKREWDRIVER. listening to music for HOURS every DAY is DEGENERATE and probably means you sm0ke MJ for HOURS every DAY as well.

the only thing you should be doing for HOURS EVERY DAY is WORKING HARD and WINNING.

also WORKING OUT and pumping iron would be acceptable. and spending time with your CHILDREN, helping them to become winners like you.

day off. went to grocery store. got gas. doing 2 loads of laundry. drinking coffee. playing cards. slept 10 hours and 20 minutes last night after taking 2 valiums and 2 benedryl incl 1 benedryl RIGHT before bed.

men and women can SOMETIMES be just friends….but also BE WARNED, that if your female just friend is at ALL YOUNG and ATTRACTIVE, be WARNED that one day just friends could turn into Unrequited Luv at the drop of a hat, and one day you will wake up with it dumped on you like a ton of bricks. prepare for the worst. and tell her that too. listen baby, im not in love with you NOW, but tomorrow i could wake up and be in total luv with you. yeah i know its stupid as fook. just prepare for the worst and i will let you know WHEN it happens so we can end this shit as painlessly as possible, or even better, you could actually try dating me hahahahaha. im better than a negro or an opioid addict. i have very good intentions and i mean you no harm hahahaha. i am just soft and lazy and boring and short hahaha. ive lost a lot of weight though and i luv children! hwyte children! im just terrible at being tough, persuading, leading, selling, making money, being successful, being a man!

there have ALWAYS been pickup artists and seduction gurus and there always will be, because there are two types of men in this world: those that struggle greatly to get any woman and are huge failures with women always, and those that don’t struggle that much and are basically Normies who get GF’s and wives and married and children etc.

guys who can get a gf and guys who cant. guys who know how to Be Around women, and guys who Don’t, and i wonder if those who Dont are simply hopeless, and this is a sign telling them they shouldnt breed. and this is where pickup artists and seduction community and theredpill and Game comes from. these HOPELESS CASES desperately trying to learn. but i dont think it CAN be learned. just accept you were born without What It Takes to Pull Women, and you will never pull women. ever. you were born that way and it cant be changed. the end. dont look at porn because its degenerate. you still can go to hookers, or try to do casual rels with trainwreck sluts on tinder or okcupid. just work on your career and try to make money. start your own business. support your race in ways other than having children of your own. start your own successful business and hire nothing but hwite men who really need a good break in their lives.  give money to weev and anglin hahahaha. dont glorify banging sluts but you could prob still do it privately. maybe be a foster parent to hwite kids only. dont be captain save a ho. don’t save hos, save CHILDREN.

heres whats apparent, when you average our all my sleep, i get an avg of over 8 hours a night. people need 7 to 9 hours. looks like i need closer to 9 hours. NO SURPRISE THERE, i just like seeing the Big Data Science Analytic Empirical Evidence bear that out. had a bit of a 30 minute powernap this afternoon which brought up muh average to about 8:37.

DONT SAVE A HO, SAVE CHILDREN.

Hoes cannot be saved, children sometimes can.

DONT BE A WHITE KNIGHT FOR SOME SLUT, BE A WHITE KNIGHT FOR SOME CHILDREN.

It’s not bad to be a white knight. its a very noble, natural hwite thing to do. it sucks that its got a negative connotation. but for the good reason that unrepentant sluts take advantage of it. so dont use it on them. use it on someone who will actually benefit, and one day be thankful for it: children. not your own of course because you will never have children of your own because that is too much for you to handle and you would be a horrible father hahahahahaha.

no those are negative thoughts. but what if they’re true? i think we concluded that its better to not even think TRUE negative thoughts. maybe if you are a normie, yes then you can handle it. but when you are a weirdo who has ruined your own life with constant negative thoughts, it’s best to not even think realistic, true negative thoughts. ITS BETTER TO DELUDE YOURSELF!!!!!!! literally! honestly! tbhfam!!

8 and a half mfin hours of sleep a night is my average hahaha. and i am not even super active!

this varies between 7 and 11 hours hahahaha depending if i have to get up early or not.

anyway i recommend doing this just to Get To Know your own body better. and especially if like most people, you “catch up” on sleep on your Days off. but you really shouldnt because sleeping in is for lazy losers who will never make something of themselves ahahahaha.

DONT SAVE A HO, SAVE A CHILD.

YOU CANT SAVE A HO. YOU CAN SAVE A CHILD.

hehehehehe. how do you like my nietzschean axioms. aphorisms.

ho = wh0re = slut = skank = thot = n>4 at age 24.

oh well. WHO AM I TO JUDGE. what the hell have i done with MY life. wasted it. just as bad as these THOTS. like them i have no dignity. at least they got some secsual satisfaction out of life hahahaha fooking negros and opioid poppers. tough guys in the trailer park. its not gay for them because straight women love getting pounded by tough guy dick. its as much fun for them as it is for men to pound an attractive woman. well maybe a little less because they get it so often so its not as “expensive” and SCARCE. but they still enjoy it and have more stimulation in the clitoris region and such. nerve endings etc. for men to experience that much pleasure they need to bang an 18 year old 8/10 or above hahahaha or pop some opioids.

i wonder if taake pops opioids since he’s just been rehashing his work post 2005 when he was….28 years old.  and his best work he did between the ages of 22 and 28 hehehehe. and now that he is 39 he is just gonna drink and opioid himself to death and do boring rehashes of his first 3 albums but never reach that level of inspiration hahahahaha. and be very hateful and hate everything and everyone hahahahaha. hey man what are you so hateful about. youve written 3 great albums, you’re a handsome norwegian man, you’re not fat, youve probably pulled some qt gurls, you get nocturno culto and attila to do guest vocals on your albums hahahaha.

wait he did a cover of a CURE song? now that is compelling! that was on an EP semi recently. after his banjo album. he used a banjo on one song and its all anyone can talk about.

anyway. im not the biggest taake fan but this will probably make me a bigger taake fan. i wish it were a band i was more into at the moment, like winterfylleth or saor or iron maiden or…..mgla is awesome and i would totally see them, they did a US tour but no show in the area. if i were a real fan i would have traveled like serious fans do. drive 500 miles to go to a SHOW is what REAL fans do. so im not a real fan. OH WELL. i dont like metal CROWDS anyway. fookin stupid degenerates who are pissing away their whiteness on being drunken and st0ned idiots who care more about degen music than by being winners in life. reminds me of myself. except i was never as TOUGH as the avg metal guy which was at least enough to get them laid with dirty sluts once in a while.  and to not be MEEK and WEAK and anxious, but to be TOUGH and MANLY.

MEEK. TIMID. DONT BE THESE THINGS. BE TOUGH.

yeah i was always MEEK and TIMID. ever since i was a young child. i didnt think it would be such a bad thing. im butthurt it WAS  SUCH a bad thing, since there are people who are even more meek and timid who didnt do as bad at life. i just took an all in gamble at some point without really knowing it, and lost it all hahahaha.

 

SOME KIDS JUST DONT WANT TO LEARN

jan 23

sheeeeeit. got saor tshirt in mail today complete with handwriting by andy marshall on the mailing label hahahaha. i hope he wouldnt CUCK like winterfylleth did hahahahaha he probably would tho hahahahahahahahaha.

better hope i don’t send antifa to your home because you have pride in your country and your “HERITAGE”, ya NATIONALIST HAHAHAHA. no dont you worry lad, but there are some crazy people out there. good thing i am not crazy in that way.

of course im just being an asshole hehehe. isnt it good enough that the winterfylleth naughton guy takes a vocal stand against cultural marxist, and is anti-refugee, and declares his admiration for pat buchanan? pat buchanan is about as awesome as a normie can get. he would be a great president hahahaha. i cannot POSSIBLY talk shit about pat buchanan. he is one of the greats.

still not as outgoing and extraverted  on the job as i would like to be but oh well i am trying. im just not used to a positive working environment hehe. met another educator today who was another one of those true believers, and i mean this in the good way, as in a totally respectable person who is passionate and dedicated to the success of their students. now this person has taught in schools that would Redpill a normal person on race, but this person fought hard so that even poor black and brown students who come from families of murderers and felons and drug addicts, living out of cars, homeless, eventually become college grads and get good careers.

the type of person you wish all teachers were like.

so what is it? bad administrators? bad teachers? not enough good teachers like this?

she also talked about her own children who were doing very very very very very well in life. better at age 18 than i will ever do hehehe. in advanced math and science in high school, going to good universities, doing good stem degrees, good internships, getting 20 job offers before even graduating univ, hang out with good people who dont do drugs, are generally well adjusted hard workers without emotional problems or laziness, and will go on to make a lot of money and get a lot of respect. and the way she was describing it she wasnt BRAGGING….but its impossible to not be VERY proud of your kids when they are this successful.

but they also pay a lot of money to do this very highly regarded, very selective high school program. where all the kids become hugely successful.

and muh manager who i also have a lot of respect for, he has children which he has entrusted to the public school system, which i thought was kind of mediocre. but as it turns out, there is an elite track in this school district, with a STEM high school, where all the kids at that school become successful. of course he is trying to get his kids in there. i looked at the schools website and 95% of the kids seem hwyte hehehehe. NICE. i figured they would be 50% brown because there are tons of indians and arabs in the area who i assume would be VERY interested in having their kids grow up to become successful, rich doctors and engineers. remove wirus on your computer hehehehe.

something like 600 applicants, about 90 kids get in.

SO YOURE SAYING ITS EASIER that getting a 25k a year job with benefits hehehehe.

i can’t blame them for talking about their successful, promising kids. but i feel envious because i can’t compare with that. i used to be promising too, but peaked at age 17-18, then crashed as soon as i went to uni.

the difference is that i did not go to a hardcore STEM high school. i went to a well-regarded private high school, but i did not consider myself ENGAGED at all as teachers would put it. I resented all the homework, i thought school was STUPID, i just wanted to do what i needed to do, so i could play vidya or internet or stupid music or, very regrettably, Party with MJ and alcohol. at the time, i resented the school, thought it was lame. maybe i would have felt the same way at a special STEM high school.

or i would try to romance the qt geeky STEM gurls and get rejected and go crazy like i did anyway hahahaha.

but yeah at the time i didnt even know our school district HAD a school like that. looking at the generally mediocre school district, i wouldnt have thought it. i didnt even know the district HAD this school until a few years ago. shit probably the school didnt even EXIST when i was in high school 6000000000 years ago.

well, wikipedia says yes it did exist. damn. looks like i missed out!

i didnt like STEM though. I never really did. I guess I sorta liked shit like english and history, but i didn’t like the AP versions of those, too much work I thought. All the AP classes. I really didn’t like The Whole AP system. Although doing AP classes def helped me get into a good uni. not that THAT did me any good!

and then i hear stories of poor blacks living in cars, dont have clothes and shoes, taking care of their sister who is a heroin addict, father is in prison, mother is on disability and addicted to pain pills, and then they go to local college, do well, and get a good job.

meanwhile i was set up and nurtured for success, but became a huge failure. which makes me think this stuff is either born in you or its not. and i was just a bad seed.

and these talented tenth black kids, well theyre outliers, and that was born into them too. because if they went according to nurture, theyd be deadbeats and failures like their families. and all it took was one great teacher to jumpstart them to success.

i had a good family! i had decent teachers! i did very in high school despite not liking it and got into a good college. that was my peak. i didnt like college either, and did mediocre, and since then, have been less than mediocre my whole adult life.

would going to a stem high school have saved me?

i think it COULD have…..but thats still far from a sure thing. 50/50 it would have saved me.

what didnt i like about high school? that it gave too much homework and that I didnt know any gurls.

but that gurl part is ON ME! it was up to me to meet those gurls and practice The Art Of Seduction!

i had an added challenge because there weren’t any gurls at the school, but that didnt stop the majority of lads who went there from growing up well adjusted and successful! besides, its proven that Separated the Sexes leads to Better Education, because gurls are too distracting for young lads!

but i was ALL BUTTHURT about it.

also i didnt start showing any serious warning signs till i was in college. well i did have some yellow lights in high school. like i was already drinking and using MJ in high school. but it only became a bigger problem in college.

i had a weird friends group. they occasionally used alcohol or MJ, but they were good people. they weren’t huge douchebags or bullies. i dont necess think i was hanging out with the wrong crowd. maybe it wasnt the BEST crowd, because i wasn’t hanging out with the huge winner DORKS and NERDS who didnt do alcohol or MJ, who later all became successful engineers or accountants or lawyers or businessmen hehehe.

i cant say i was hanging out with the wrong crowd, because i cant crap on these people. they are good people. unfort they have a 50/50 track record for being successful in life. i had like 2 good friends, one became a sad pathetic loser, despite still being a good person, and the other became a decent, well-rounded winner normie, albeit not thru college.

so WHY do i always want to smoke MJ? whats the ROOT of my DESIRE? Its not that i want to do it MODERATELY, i want to do it ALL THE TIME. if i had some, i would be doing it EVERY DAY, not on weekends only like moderate people.

so the big question is, why do i want to get INTOXICATED on MJ EVERY DAY????????

that is the question.

and if im honest, that IS what I want! I KNOW moderation is the better, smarter, wiser choice, and what I SHOULD choose….but i dont want it! I want excess! but WHY?

because i want some sense of escape and relief from being a huge loser in life who had a LOT of potential at 17, but threw it all away to become a huge loser for the next 15+ years hahahahaha.

but i hear these people talking about their 10 year old, 13 year old, 15, 16, 18, 20, 21 year old children, and I can’t help but think, what if I had been one of these children? and then feel envious.

part of the problem was i did think i HAD a problem with MJ or alcohol, and i was very good at HIDING it from muh fam, and I ABSOLUTELY was not going to go to them for help, even though they were MORE than willing. it would take until I was like 25, 26 years old before I even STARTED Seeking Help.

I mean I’m glad I did, but I essentially LOST the years 18-26 and I am very very butthurt about that! those are some really bad years to lose!

the following years have been better….but they havent been a LOT better. all my progress has been VERY slow, with some bigass setbacks in there too (see 2015 and 2016 hehehe.) and in a way the past 3 years have been especially bad. they are getting better now and i’m thankful for that, i guess its still gonna take a few months for that really to sink in.

this one kid goes to YEAR ROUND elementary school. how good of a thing is this? at the time i would have HATED it. i wonder if it would have been good for me though. kept me out of trouble.

but even though my friends did some of the stuff the “bad kids” did, they really werent bad kids tho. the main problem was my horrible, shitty attitude, and believe me, i had that ever since elementary school!!!!!!

shit yeah education is interesting and important. maybe i would have been a good teacher hahahahahaha. too bad i cant teach or explain shit. or help people become winners when i am a huge loser hahahaha.

education is important but i always hated SCHOOL. its ALWAYS been like PULLING TEETH. elementary, high school, AND college. all of it. and grad skool seems the same way.

they have year round elementary but not year round middle or high schools. why not? i would think middle and high school is where it woul be even MORE important, cuz thats when kids really start to get off the tracks.

https://www.care.com/c/stories/3283/the-pros-and-cons-of-year-round-school/

HMM they STILL have the same amount of school days, like 180. sheeeeeeeeit. I thought they would get way more, and essentially be like 2 grades ahead, which would be AWESOME.

some kids JUST DONT WANT TO LEARN hehehehe. i was one of those kids hahahaha.

but thats kinda WRONG. I did want to learn, but i didnt want stupid hours of homework, and i wanted to learn more about…..shit i dont even know. something different than what i WAS learning. maybe learn about how to seduce women, how to be charismatic, how to negotiate, how to have great people skills, the art of the deal, learning obviously useful workplace skills. that i would have liked. maybe a class on movies. shit i liked movies back then. degenerate shit but maybe i could have learned about less degenerate movies.

like pulp fiction was the big edgy movie back then. i was like oh this has got to be the best movie of all time. i was butthurt because i wasnt allowed to see it.

it actually was a pretty good movie, but ALSO very degenerate, and tarantino needs to go in the oven NOW. that was his best movie and it just wasnt worth his whole shitty career.  plus i was too young to ward off the degeneracy in that movie anyway.

shit when i was young, i LOVED DEGENERACY. literally. blood, gore, violence, pornography, vulgarity, marilyn manson, 3edgy5me, i was such a stereotypical teen! anything that was BAD or EVIL , i LIKED!!!!!

I LIKED DEGENERACY inherently! i sought out the degenerate! I loved it! i honestly dont know HOW i became so degenerate by age 16! i had a good family!!!!!!!

again, thoughts of being a BAD SEED.

i was rebelling against muh good family and muh christian upbringing……but did i have to rebel SO GODDAM MUCH?!?!?!?!?! I wish I hadnt! why couldnt I just have rebelled a LITTLE?!?!?!?!?!

there was no reason for me to rebel THAT MUCH!!!!! breaking my poor familys HEART!!!!! i mean i very well could have been POSSESSED.

well i am paying it back now. shit i’ve been a loser longer than i’ve been a winner. well, part of the time i was a winner, i was a degenerate. i guess its only fair that i should suffer being a loser, while i’m also fighting against degeneracy.

but it would be soooo nice to be a nondegenerate winner!

well i am a bigger winner than i have been in 1.5 years at least hehehe. in a way i am a bigger winner than when i was working my previous job, cuz there i was going crazy. soul killing job and a soul killing situation with woman. now i have really a soul-growing job, and no shitty situation with any woman.

and then i criticize myself for not taking advantage ENOUGH of my grateful, soul-feeding job. im not being charismatic enough with the WONDERFUL people.

well i just get there early, leave a little late, and just try to be friendly and pleasant. thats honestly the best i can do.

and it bears repeating for the 60000000000000th time, that if you study Education in Uni or esp Graduate Skool…..its pozzed and marxist as FOOK. it is pure jooish communism. like SOCIOLOGY. which is a big thing that turns me off of studying education.

if you get a room full of education experts, you will not find any 1433 types hehehe. you probably wont even find any damn CENTRISTS.

jan 24

fooking academics who spell their name with no capital letters, like bell hooks. they are always a phd with strong interests in feminism. even moreso than the average phd!!!!

just found a teacher who is my age, and had a useless degree from a good shool, but immediately got a masters degree in the same useless field within 2 years of the undergrad, and then 8 years after that, completed the phd hehehehe. i could have been a phd for several years by now. that feel when you are that age hahahaha.

well i mean theoretically you could complete a phd by age 25. more like 27 though.

anyway i havent actually met her yet, maybe never will. i just looked her up because she looked young and attractive in her profile pic. welp she’s not THAT young, she’s MY age but she still looks very attractive. in a tiny pic no less. a Hawt Gurl doing a humanities PHD. kind of surprising. looks like she should be in a Sorostitutority instead, hehehehe.

took benedryl at 3pm, try to go to bed at 730 pm. it is 7pm and i am already sleepy.

doing ok on muh dieting hehehe but damn i can get to the 1500 cals SO EASILY hehehehe. doing way worse that i was this time last year. well i lost 35 pounds since then tho. so good for me haha.

jan 25

beavis and butthead. weve forgotten about them but in the 90s they were YUGE. and degenerate that I was, I thought they were awesome. i wasnt mature enough to understand the joke, the parody mike judge was doing.

also, i argue that MJ basically turns you INTO beavis and butthead. so dont do MJ, because these are the biggest idiot degenerates and its a shame that they are hwyte. damn. and its SAD there is hwyte trash who is actually like this. its sad that i thought it was COOL. its literally the least cool thing ever. its degenerate and disgusting.

of course ive known about jim goad for many years but never really read him or listened to him, but he is a pretty good speaker. i know he did some degenerate shit though. i wouldnt kick him out of muh group though. unless he was married to a nonwhite hahaha. i think he is bisexual hahaha. i wouldnt want to be married to him but he does a good conversation hahaha.

oh shit hes friends with gavin mcinnes, cant like him anymore hahahaha.

i guess cantwell is getting more racial hehehehe. he is not scared to talk about bl4x and jooz, bad news hehehehe. i just came for the weev hehehehe.  they are both talkative and play well off each other but if you added more people in there it would be too much. so just the two of them works very well.  gets into the JQ around 31 minutes.

i dunno, i think chris might be coming around! i subscribed to him again hahahaha. yeah i know he has a nonwhite gurlfran. but he was open about that. he prob wont marry her hahahaha.

 

 

WHY CANT MORE WOMEN THINK SLVTTISHNESS IS AT LEAST A LITTLE BIT GROSS

jan 5 new current year

just getting ready for the day. 656 am. i could PROBABLY sleep in an extra 15 minutes. maybe i will eventually do that. but i like having this buffer of time to write a few sentences, check email, and, of course, go make explosive coffee water #2’s like i am about to do right now.

ok did that. i mean its really quick.

anyway yeah my main issue now, and i didnt really have this at the previous job because that job was so stressful and packed that we really never had a chance to talk about anything not job related, we were all just trying to survive day to day. but now that the pace is a little slower THANK GOD, i am pressuring myself to be more social and charismatic and normie.

i mean i will take this new problem ANY DAY over what I faced before. im not complaining haahahha. well i kind of am. but never forget, that in comparison, it is not even 1% as bad altogether. i get a 99% reduction in stress and panic and thats The End Of The Story.

spent like an hour responding to a Support Ticket today that in my previous job, would have been expected to knock out in 20, or better 10 minutes. it doesnt matter if you dont know the answer. find the answer and answer it within 10 minutes. I laboriously wrote an email like the sloth. included Too Much Information and Misinformation. and I probably didnt even need to do ANYTHING, because someone else would be in in the afternoon that knew a lot more about the topic. an SME. but i was determined to Do Something and Add Value and figure out how to use the ticket system better. So I took a shot at it and hopefully superiors say good for him to try this, rather than, oh shit what a stupid fookup, i wish we could fire him, but he’s in the union grrrrrr. he totally did this wrong. gave the person bad advice, poorly written, and used the program in more wrong ways than we could imagine hehehehe.

anyway i did ok i guess. give myself a little more crrrrredit hahaha. had a paltry two customers in today and tried to act like a nice normie to them. painfully awkward small talk. jeez. for a while, i used to be GOOD at this. at my previous job. after i talked to people ALL DARN DAY i got pretty good at small talk. wish the learning curve wasnt that rough. because i cant handle talking to people ALL DARN DAY….well, when its complicated complex shit. and what im doing now is nowhere near as complex. it can get complex, but there are SEVERAL SME’s with Masters Degrees just waiting to Yank the Case from me. Aint No Need to BEG like I did before!

the beotch in the comments is half good and half bad. she says that she is automatically suspicious of anyone who talks of a BEST friend who is opposite sexs,usu means you are in luv with them. i would tend to agree! i guess you can have normal acquaintance friends of the opposite secx, but once you upgrade them to BEST friends or really really really close top tier friends….you are at big risk of getting FEELINGS for them. because of the INTIMACY.

i hate how wimmin dont think SEX is INTIMATE. god damn fooking SAVAGES.

well at least got under in calories today.

would LUV some MJ hahahaha.

https://www.google.com/webhp?sourceid=chrome-instant&ion=1&espv=2&ie=UTF-8#q=small%20talk%20for%20socially%20awkward%20people

i dont HATE small talk. i totally understand the idea of and why small talk is important. i would like to be able to DO small talk! any stupid autist who says small talk is retarded…..well thats a very immature and stupid thing to say. small talk is the basis of everything. big talk. relationships. success. friends. luvers. showing that you have charisma and confidence and that you are a smart cool charming person and worth hanging out with. or you can faily miserably and show what a boring, awkward, desperate, pathetic omega neet virgin you are hahahahahaha. this is all accomplished on the battlefield of small talk. small talk is ridiculously important and big hahahaha. i totally get that.

so yeah i luv the idea of small talk. i hate trying to do it and failing at something so important.

well this job will def be another big step in getting over that woman. makes it more and more distant. but damn i wish i hadnt been so pathetic and stupid and Creepy. wish id been stronger and cooler and not so desperate and needy and clingy.

so apparently you cant just walk into a store and buy MJ in california nao.

i guess i could tell people that i am interested in Relships and read Relship Advice stories a lot. because I honestly DO! this is kinda weird but its prob my most normie interest. i mean, cant talk to people about WN1488, Alt Right, or Black Metal. talking about RELSHIPS sounds completely reasonable and normie next to all that. and I could work in some spin on how casual secs is degenerate and sinful and disgusting.

women can be awkward and it doesnt hurt them, they can still gets jobs and relships. men and women are probably about equally socially awkward, but theres DISPARATE IMPACT on the men.

anyway. re that woman. yeah now that i think about it, a series of long conversations probably wouldnt have done much good. what WOULD have done some good is me making a BRIEF statement EARLY, like: yep i’m starting to act weird and want to hang out all the time becuase i’m starting to get feelings for you. This is getting hard for me to deal with and I don’t mean to Ghost you, but just do me a solid and give me some time and space, because I dont think you feel the same way, and I need some space to get over my feelings for you. Sorry. Best Wishes in life. You are a good person and I don’t mean to dump you. But this is hard for me and it needs a lot of effort from me. Think of a time when you got feelings for a guy friend and he didn’t return them. It was challenging, wasn’t it. The end.”

even that’s a little too long. and then if she did have feelings, she could respond to that. hahahahaha. so yeah. clearly she thought i was the entitled nice guy and was dreading the dreadful conversation where i tried to BEG her to be with me and tell her why she was WRONG when she said she didnt want me. and she didnt want to put up with that.

i mean i was already BEGGING her to respond. why wouldnt i BEG her to reconsider or change her mind or pleeeeease luvvvvv me back. the torture of hours of me begging.

yeah well i didnt even get a chance. thats the point. maybe i would have been mature about it. but desperate luv compromises your maturity. shit.

but yeah. i coulda and SHOULD HAVE finished all this with one SHORT email in december 2014. rip the bandaid off. sorry babe but I like like you. i obv need to get over that because you dont return the feelings. so i have to take a break from this friendship. i dont want to leave you in the lurch so let me know if i can pay an early termination fee or something. reddit said this can hurt for the friend to get friend dumped, so tell me what i can do to make this easier for you. though i promise you its a LOT harder for ME hahahahahahaha because my heart is utterly broken now and I might fall off the wagon and start doing heron again and K myself hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha jk.

why would i even LOOK at tinder. its full of sluts who think casual sex is OK. fundamental incompatibility of Core Moral Values.

i want to meet women who think sluts are gross and being a slut is gross. i want to meet women who JUDGE sluts. negatively.

WHY DONT MORE PEOPLE JUDGE SLUTS NEGATIVELY. WHY DO SO MANY PEOPLE THINK SLUTTISHNESS IS OK. DAMN. WHY CANT MORE PEOPLE, ESP WOMEN, JUST THINK ITS AT LEAST A LITTLE BIT GROSS.

and why are these damn sluts such successful ADULTS. good normie ADULTS. good at college, good at career, people dont think theyre WEIRD, they LEARN shit and UNDERSTAND shit and can EXPLAIN shit. really get deep into blooms taxonomy of learning hahahaha. learn something deeply. you dont learn something until you can teach it to someone else. those who can’t do, teach HAHAHAHAHAHA.

some people say, dont do a masters degree unless you’re passionate and absolutely sure about it. dont half ass it, or use it as a stopgap because you dont know what else to do, you will waste too much money for too little return.

i tend to like this school of thought.

but then there the other side, which is like, we all need to pay our dues and do things that are tough and expensive and struggle in the medium term of 4 years or so, so things pay off 5, 10 years later. the day comes where you put away your childish toys, put on your big boy pants, and accept that you have to go to work for a living, and spent 80% of your waking hours doing things you dont really WANT to do, that you arent really PASSIONATE about, so you might as well maximize this by doing something that will pay off in the long run.

well, i had enough trouble going to college in a state of welp, i dont know what to do, but i got good grades in high school and i’m expected to go to college. so just pay your dues, get the extremely expensive piece of paper, and then you’ll be set.

but that was all lies hahahaha. so now the goalposts are moved? and i should go into GRADUATE school with the same mindset?

yeah but its a lot different getting into grad school than getting into undergrad. i did great in high school and got into a good undergrad without really much effort or maturity or planning. i did completely average in undergrad and could not see myself getting into an above average grad school without totally busting my ass in a go-getting, gung-ho, high-energy way that i have NEVER been.

and it doesnt seem WORF IT to pay shitloads of money to go to an average or below-average grad program, just to treat it as College 2.0 for when College is the New High School and Grad School is the new College and i hate the whole scam system anyway!

but in life you gotta SUCK IT UP and DO WHAT YOU GOTTA DO!

and why dont NORMIES have such a god damn internal conflict about it? they just go ahead and work hard and GIT R DONE.

heh. i wish i had a Career Coach ever since I was 16, staying on my ass and saying you need to do this, you need to do that.

now some people, their families do that. the chinee high expectations father. you can become doctor or engineer. get your masters degree or youre out of the family. i didnt have that at all, i was SPOILED.

cuz i didnt WANT to do anything. i needed to be trained with the carrot and the stick. left to my own devices in College, i totally went astray. a strong guiding hand, a foot being put down, that prob would have helped me in the long run. classic first world problems of being first in the fam to go to college hehehe. and of course i didnt appreciate that privilege at all. damn.

if i had to go to college, should have gone to local uni and stayed at home so the fam could have kept me in line, from doing stupid shit like MJ and alcohol.

but i still did MJ and alcohol when i was at home! i just hid it really well. i either would have gotten a DUI much earlier (which prob would have been GOOD), and probably did a bit less MJ, which DEF would have been good. definitely would have seen less of those crazy women doing crazy shit, which would have been good.

i dunno. alternate realities and what ifs and all that. i mean i still went crazy over women when being at home.

but yeah. ive never liked SCHOOL, and ive never liked WORK, and doing EITHER is PULLING TEETH.

See those normies? GOALS.

Goals are important. Goals are A Thing. See what happens when you have goals? You should have goals. Get Goals. Goals. Just Achieve Them.

all of education is fooked up. from grade school to grad school. serious fundamental problems with ALL of it.

heh. there should be homeschool grad school.

but you dont NEED grad school!!!!

well grad school is just perfect for some people! they are total grad school nerds! they clearly belong there!

i couldnt see myself getting in just because i couldnt see myself getting convincing recommendations and statement of intent. uhhh i want to get into grad school because i cant get a 26k FT job with a bachelors degree, so i’m really just treating this as high school 3.0. i fookin hate school but this is the bare minimum for being lower middle class in 2000s.

I would MUCH RATHER Just Work A Job. An Entry Level, 25k a year job, than go to god damn grad school. not that i have a good shot at getting into grad school ANYWAY! I have a better chance at getting the 25k a year job! and weve seen how fooking ridiculously godforsakenly hard THAT is! maybe it IS easier getting into a masters degree at a shitty noname school! MBA at phoenix!

yeah but i dont WANT to do an MBA, i would rather do a masters in relationship and despair counseling. which is an inherently useless degree! catch 22 here. quite the dilemma. and i dont want to be a social worker working with welfare blacks for a contractor with the city of oakland or the city of ferguson or something.

although its funny. today one of my “customers” was a black guy with an mba and I tried to make small talk with him. he was much better at it than me, but i am at least trying to be nice folks, i swear. but i cant talk about sports or anything. i cant tell this black guy that i am a trump supporting hwyte nationalist racist hahahaha. i nervously mentioned my interest in “news and current events”, which is FAIR…..BUT WHAT IF PEOPLE TAKE THAT BAIT and try to get you talking about TRVMP??????

well shit, this guy could actually BE a trump supporter, he seems to be a rather moderate, conservative, white acting, oreo black. almost like he is now overcompensating to not talk like a black, he is very well spoken, great speaking voice. he even made jokes about the HR diversity sensitivity training we had to do about trannies and shit hahahahahaha. i laughed and said yeah I hear ya man. well we didnt talk specifically about trannies. or have a frank conversation on race hahahahahaha.

see i dont hate blacks hahahaha. i just had an awkward conversation with a grad school educated black man hahahaha.

also all these people have experience giving lectures and discussions in front of groups of people. they have done that hundreds of times. there is no possible argument that this is not a GREAT life skill.

i would be dropping the spaghetti all over the place. oh now im the TEACHER and my STUDENTS are gonna think im an IDIOT. i never wanted to be a teacher but now i want to be a teacher even LESS, hahahahaha.

shit i can barely be a STUDENT. I can barely be a 13k a year EMPLOYEE. I cant even be a bare minimum ADULT. hahahahaha. I fooked up on easy mode, cant even deal with NORMIE MODE, hahahahaha.

funny all this goddamn self doubt even though now i am damn WORKING and that is an INFINITE improvement over where i was 2 months ago. why not just be happy about that.

went all in with AA, guy beat me with full house. sheeeeeeit.

heh. wonder what that woman is doing with her life right now. i know she got a job similar to what we were doing. probably making similar or more money, maybe higher up, def lots of hours, def lot more money than me, def making literally TWICE the money I am making. well shell have plenty of money to spend on her black bastard then hahahahahahahahahahahaha wawawawawawawawawawawa im so sad and lonely and want her back and will never get over her, muh perfect waifu hhahahahaha.

yeah i am playing things up a bit. but for a long time thats how bad it was. bad shit. wouldnt wish on worst enemy.

i guess its worse when i am working alongside 20 year old kids and they are all going to college, yup working on muh engin degree or nursing degree or HR degree, and then they graduate and get a 28k a year job, while you remain at the kid student job. at least here i dont have any young kids beside me being a constant reminder of what an old failure i am hahahahahahaha.

NOT EVEN MOST WOMEN ARE EVIL CHILDREN

nov 11

sheeeeeeeeeeeit LEONARD COHEN died. age 82. not sure what. he came out with that new song/album a few months ago. out of all the famous singers who died recently, LC is by far the one I liked the most. I was/am an actual literal serious LC FAN. I have seen LC live. TWICE! I have spent hours listening to and fully enjoying LC, respecting an admiring him. I know he was old and obviously wouldnt live forever, and his health seemed to be declining even with that. he did not have long in other words. and here it happened.

ive listened to him less the past few years, and have been trying to keep his JOOISHNESS in mind critically, but he was still prob muh fav JOO. and now that he is gone it would be a lot easier for me to push the button and send them all back to their homeland hahahaha.

i still think he was a good guy. i just didnt like that his profound songs, lyrics, philosophy had to be somehow TAINTED with jooishness.

i mean i dont think he was a typical antiwhite joo by any means.

he died on MONDAY and we only heard about it on THURSDAY? well thats more than fair. i would just hate for him to be pressured to make an anti trump statement during his last day of life hahahaha. who knows, he probably did before hahaha.

cant find cause of death. i mean it doesnt really matter, i just want to know if he secretly had CANCER like david bowie.

sheeeeeeeeit now i gotta listen to his latest album released 1 month ago. i heard one song from it and i didnt love it.

unfort i had a dream about That Woman last night so i am thinking about that.

also that she knows that I am a big cohen fan so when she hears about his death she will think of me unless she is just THAT dense, 50 50 chance there hahaha.

basically how can any big LC fan be a total betraying piece of shit? she would think if she was smart and mature, which she is not hahaha.

like LC, i have lived for years blaming myself for hurting and disappointing someone i luved, totally being a coward. this is kinda how LC viewed himself too. disappointed in himself for being a coward who hurt the people he luved. i totally know that feel.

anyway he captures that guilt and Vulnerability very well, all real fans know this.

anyway the dream: in the dream i finally received my long awaited Long Email from her. she actually never appeared in the dream, just the email.

the email was nice and long. but it did not have her name on it, and it was in my Spam folder, and I easily could have missed it because it was buried among 6000000 emails in my spam folder. (not realistic, i check and empty spam every day and there is never more than 4 emails in there due to how often i check it)

i read the email and while i was glad she was finally communicating with me, it was frustrating. i think she apologized for shutting down. but she spent a lot of time talking about her new bf. and how she had to go out and be young and stupid for a while, dating around, euphemisms for being a casual sex slut. then she finally met this guy who she cant even explain. on paper he sounds horrible: immature, unfriendly, he’s even more emotionally sensitive than me or even YOU (meaning me!), grumpy, stubborn, but I just saw something in him and now I am so happy.

(that made me angry and be like yeah but i am better than that! hes even MORE emotional than me? why couldnt you just pick ME instead? why go out and be a slut and then end up with a guy whos like me, but even WORSE? why not contact me earlier and give me a chance? I still luv you!)

so yeah my ultimate feeling after getting the letter was frustration, not really any greater closure, but a reawakened desire to try to beg her to come to me, pleeeease think about dating me, please give me a chance, you’re dating an emotional, short, grumpy, awkward guy, i am all those things too, but i am trying to become a better man though! and i would luv you unconditionally!

so yeah the whole feeling was like, this doesnt make me feel much better, this wasnt the closure i was looking for, she didnt talk enough about the stuff i wanted her to talk about (apologizing, dont blame yourself, youre a great guy) and talked too much about stuff i didnt want to hear about (new emo boifran, slutting it up.)

and she said, you absolutely need to have no contact with me in order to get over this, we cant talk again for like a YEAR. and just go out there and meet new people. I did! good people, bad people, just any new people. youll meet a few shitty people but eventually you will meet a great person and then you will get over me!

so that was technically good, becuase yeah thats exactly what i need to do, and that was her saying, theres no chance between me and you.

mainly i was angry because i was like, overall, she doesnt’ really GET it. this isnt the letter i wanted.

but that made it easier for me to dislike her and to see how Incompatible we were, so thats kinda good tho.

but it also sucked to bring all the feelings back to the surface again, to remind me that i still wanted her. i had a strong urge to reply and try to persuade her like a game of chess. i still want you.

so yeah. basically it means that a letter from her wouldn’t do a ton of good at this late date. its too late hahahaha.

but technically i wouldnt mind DISliking her more. or an apology, an admission of her guilt, and her saying it wasnt my fault.

so yeah. i guess an email wouldnt be all bad. because i HATE being misunderstood, and not listened to, not given a chance to defend myself, and having someone i luv, hate me forever.

but yeah i dont need stupid dreams bringing HER back to the fore, when there are much more important things happeneing in the world!

trump victory!

leonard cohen dying!

and all i can think of now is, well when she hears about LC dying, she might think of ME and maybe try to contact me!

sheeeeit shes prob so busy working, making money, succeeding, and being in luv and fookin new bf’s, to ever hear about LC or remember anything about him.

i mean she could even have a CHILD by now hahahaha. thats how long i havent seen her.

she is SO MUCH OVER ME, and I am not really enough over her at all.

i mean i get good days and bad days, and had a couple bad days re her recently.

also, my good days are worse than normies bad days hahahaha.

http://goaskalice.columbia.edu/answered-questions/told-him-my-true-feelings-and-now-its-truly-awkward-0

good advice from communist alice. it takes courage to confess feelings. open direct communication is the best way forward. he doesnt want to reject you as a person.

thats something thats not covered in these talks. when you confess feelings for a friend, the “norm” is they are like, i dont feel that way, but i dont want to lose your friendship, you are valuable to me as a friend, and then you say, well yeah its complicated! but some space would be nice, can we agree on some space, i mean i wish you well tho.

but from her i got YOU BEATRAYED ME YOU PIECE OF SHIT I NEVER WANT TO TALK TO YOU AGAIN!!!!!

which left me devastated. but i didnt really get that though. i just got nothing.

http://goaskalice.columbia.edu/answered-questions/friends-partners-possible

again, just have a direct conversation, with no warnings of this could really really really blow up horribly.

which leads me to believe that blowing up THAT horribly is not normal.

ie, SHE DEFINITELY OVERREACTED BIGLY.

which doesnt mean i wasnt a coward, i def was.

but it takes a lot of courage to do this, AND she overreacted WAY too much, even for a WOMAN.

women are not that bad, white women voted for TRUMP. white women voted for trump. white women are not degen garbage who fook dogs and negros. at least 53% of white women are good hahahaha.

ok call to job int in 2 weeks from stupid hospital. yes THAT hospital. this is for an afternoon shift job with no benefits (casual) and which will be lucky to get 12 an hour. oh well. hopefully they can at least have the decency to give me an actual interview!!!!!!!!

instead of me showing up at 830 am, them saying you would be bored with this job, why dont you try applying for something that would be a better FIT for you, dont look desperate, this job isnt for you, we here at this hospital look at the types of jobs you apply to, you should really apply for something thats a better fit for you, good luck, buh bye.

goddam k1k3s hahahaha.

no you cant just APPLY for one of the 4000 new trump administration jobs. i checked hahaha.

forced self to eat less cereal this morning than i would normally eat.

fookin portion control!

stupid computer. hard drives. never had a hard drive fail. WHY did it fail? was i using the computer too much? i did use it a lot.

but its also been making a weird clicking and humming noise for like 2 months. which i wasnt sure was the hard drive but now i am much more sure thats what it was. cuz the beeping came from the same place.

root cause for hard drive failure. we dont know why your hard drive broke and you lost all your files hahaha.

well my most important files are all on The Cloud. i am really just losing a bunch of music files i downloaded. thats about it. really not bad.

leonard cohen. well he fell in luv many times, even more than i did, and was able to turn his profound feels into classic, timeless songs that will last hundreds of years. i do not have that talent hahahaha. just this blog hahahaha. this blog is my “hallelujah” hahahaha. my “suzanne” and all that shit. so long marianne. im your man. first we take manhattan. take this waltz. dance me to the end of luv. great song, i dont care that some joos say its about the h0l0h04x, its still beautiful. bird on a wire. you know what song i like is sing another song boys. everybody knows hahaha. a great newer song is “alexandra leaving.”  heart with no companion. the future. all that shit. joan of arc. avalanche. chelsea hotel. famous blue raincoat. lover lover lover. all great songs hahaha.

you gotta be a goddam POLITICIAN to CAMPAIGN why you are the BEST candidate for this 11 dollar an hour job. you cant just say the right things, you gotta really sell yourself and convince people. SHE couldnt do that! but she gets a good job just because she doesnt have a GAP like a NEET hahahaha.

hehehe. hey i had an offer for a tech support call center help desk tier 1 job myself, for good money. but i turned it down because i was too SCARED and COWARDLY.  i was like, its not worf it m8.

one thing i got better at is giving clients bad news. give a brief story of specific example when you were bad, then what you did, seek out mentorship, read books, watched youtube, here’s the top 3 things i learned, and here’s a specific story of when i got good at giving the bad news. of our company doesnt want to spend the money to fix our broken equipment hahahaha.

anyway i am real bad with these specific stories. i have a few but they are just not good enough. i SHOULD have written them down while i was THERE. to make them as DETAILED and EPIC and HEROIC as possible. spin them so they have a better ending of we just ignored the person because there case was too hard and expensive to solve, so we gave them the runaround until they stopped calling, because the person who did know how to help them just didnt want to, and we dont have access to the secret information in their head. job security. dont tell anybody anything and sure as hell dont write it down. and then dont help the people who are begging you to help them, becuase they dont even know you can help them.

but yeah now got the 28th interview lined up. not nearly as excited about this job, but welp the PIPELINE hasnt been so full lately hehe.

HONESTLY. why cant the skool just hire me already.

got like FOUR rej emails yesterday for various jobs. and less than half of places actually send rej emails. so what does that tell you. i rarely even APPLY for 4 jobs a day anymore. 3 or 4 on a GOOD day. 0 or 1 on a bad day hahaha.

ok applied for hospital job on the slow computer. great job, entry level data entry thing with very short description. prob get rejected as i always do for these hospital jobs hehe.

took some nyquil. always a good time there. wish we had legal mj. maybe in 2018 election. why not 2017? i thought the state could technically do something like that at ANY time.

but good luck getting Normal People out when there is not a presidential election! like for local elections, no one ever comes out.

even in the big 2016 election, only 55% of eligible people voted. tons of people were just not registered or just too lazy to vote.

i agree that i am too lazy and dont DESERVE to vote, but thats NOT what these people are thinking, they are just too lazy and uncaring to vote. i vote because i know i have to make use of this power (which i dont deserve, but i have anyway) to keep The Enemy From Winning. that much i can do.

im not proud of how i acted and some days i REALLY blame myself, but the FACT, the FINAL FACT, the VERDICT, is, SHE OVERREACTED BIGLY hehehehe. women tend to overreact and she overreacted on top of an overreaction. so that is on her, and i shouldnt and cannot blame myself for that. like i MADE her do that.

nov 12

yeah basically i thought even though our rel was In Trouble, that I was entitled to, that i had EARNED THE RIGHT TO DEFEND MYSELF.

how can you so easily throw me away, make me dead to you and you dead to me? we knew each other for 3 years!!!! Ive earned the right to defend myself against what you’ve charged me with! so lets have a damn trial! lets sit down and talk and present our cases before the judge and jury! i am confident enough to represent myself as my own attorney. you can get an attorney too if you like.

well then we would have to hire a judge and jury. that would be too expensive. finding an impartial group of people to make a decision on something that onyl matters to ONE person, me.

so yeah a Trial would have been NICE for me…..but its an expensive bourgeois LUXURY to have a trial.

no ones ENTITLED to a trial hahahaha.

your trial, my funeral hahahahahahahaha

just spending money like water this week and its not even xmas hahaha.

so yeah. i thought she would be willing to give me a TRIAL. LET ME DEFEND MYSELF. LISTEN TO ME. again thats all part of the Natural, Beautiful Complexity of being Thrown Away. it is a flower with many petals hahahaha.

i mean yeah. when a person can just Switch It Off, so 180, thats a Red Flag that you are not compatible with them.

of course compatibility is a jooish lie hahahahaha. its not about compatibility, its about WILLINGNESS TO WORK.

yeah well she wasnt WILLING TO WORK EITHER.

16 months later, 480 days later, still thinking about this. well, 500 is a nice round number like 100% is hahahaha.

leonard cohen. whose the white leonard cohen. LC was a great man but his CYNICISM and DESPAIR and PESSIMISM was so TYPICALLY Jooish. i am all those things too, and i dont like that jooishness in me, but it comes from living in a jooish culture and world. i dont want to be this way hahahaha. the world made me this way. my goy heart innately rejects it.

not to say ALL of cohens stuff was pessimistic! but he also wasnt willing to reject his own jooishness. he had a good sense of being a joo. well, few joos do not. they just say, well im not religious, we dont go to temple, we’re basically white. except when it comes to evil racist white privilege and granny dying in muh holocaust, then they are 6000000% jooish.

heh all the cohen fans are also antitrump. and i said, well if a person is a cohen fan they’re prob good people. hahahaha. no they are shitlib antiwhites hahaha. i might be the only trump supporting cohen fan in the world.  now, trump supporting cohen fans, i guarantee you THEY are good people hahahaha. great intersectionality there.

ghoul doxxing himself damn. yeah i am jelly he is a handsome nonnevergf chad, but its good for our people, and it takes courage to do this. i mean his real name hasnt come out, but its just a damn matter of time now.

i mean hows he ever gonna get a job as a phd now? thats what i worry about.

well he could prob get a job at a community college, which is seen as BENEATH the majority of phds…….but i can verify that its NOT beneath a sizable minority of them hahahaha. and i think ghoul would appreciate the chance to actually influence real people. i mean the CC is the great equalizer A LOTTTTTTTTTT more than some bourge university is, i realize that, and im sure ghoul realizes that.

white women voted for trump. white women voted for trump hahahaha. my knee-jerk reaction against white women is BAD, negative, a reflex i want to change. i get Stankface and think, these disgusting negro fooking sluts. these stupid annoying children. emily youcis, get the fook out of here, i dont want any annoying sluts in muh alt right white movement.

i would never hurt or abuse a woman, but my GOD do i TALK SHIT about them NONSTOP. my first reflex is to talk MAD shit about women. and i wish it werent hahahaha.

maybe if i met emily youcis in person and had a 1 on 1 conversation with her i wouldnt dislike her so much hahahaha.

but now im like, ha. women. these bandwagon jumpers. she’s just doing this because its edgy. she’ll be gone in ONE YEAR. I’ve been pro-white for six years hahahahah and just getting deeper.

its SAD that my FIRST REACTION to white women is one of dislike, negativity.

bbbbut im in a woman hating phase right now, it will pass.

i will be in a woman hating phase until i get over HER, which will take 2 full years hahahaha.

so if i am still hating women in july 2017, then i should work on that hahahaha. that is my deadline hehehe.

but yeah i can convince myself that white women arent all bad (i dont really care about nonwhite women, they can ALL be degen pigs, disgusting animals, and i just dont care, because theyre not “My Women.”) when i remind myself, 53% of white women voted for trump hahahaha. i mean thats a powerful Logic Bomb hehehehe.

basically, Not All Women, and Not Even MOST Women, would Heartless Hurt Me Deeply. Not Even MOST Women would have disgusting casual negro sex.

that is my Positive, non pessimistic mantra for the day haha. NOT EVEN MOST WOMEN. are evil children. or just destructive bratty out of control children, 50 foot baby with 600000000 machine guns.

come on. just pay a person to do what you dont want to do. it doesnt even have to be a professional. just hire the dr nick of relship counselors hahaha. pay tyrone off the street 20 bucks for crack to be a messenger of bad news. hey i dont like giving bad news either.

applied for 3 jobs. called one thing “payroll clerk” in cover letter even though official name is “payroll assistant.” WHOOPS auto disqualified! this is the same company i really really really wanted the IT job at. a health care company with good reputation. i also applied for a financial job at that same time which they mentioned in the IT interview, i said I’d be happy with either but was 60 40 into the IT job re better fit. i was reallllllly hoping to get the job. got nothing. also did not even get interview for financial job. NOW i just applied for payroll job at this company. i KNOW they are growing like wildfire because they told me that at the interview. they plan to double in size in 2 years.

applied for PT general office clerk job at health care “business” company. have applied for this SAME job like 4 or 5 times, ALWAYS get rejected. then it opens again a month later, then i apply again. get rejected again. well, sometimes its a FT version of basically the same job. diff req numbers each time so i COUNT it on muh sheet as a new job. numbers up.

onyl spent 178 hours on Job Search. Maybe i need to spend at least 500 hahahaha.

i would much rather just pay the 2100 dollars that these hours are worth at 12 dollars an hour rate and have someone else do this work for me hehehehe.

just all so fookin retarded. i cant help but feel if i were like 22 years old instead of 10ish years older than that, they would be more willing to hire me and i wouldnt have to do 28 goddam interviews.

god damn j1zz burping cvnt.

well did good today on calories at least. and technically on job apps, got 4 done. beating the avg of 3 hahaha.

i mean sheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeit.

yeah i mean TRY to give me the BENEFIT OF THE DOUBT. 2.7 years, you think you’d be “entitled” to the BENEFIT OF THE DOUBT. this might not be the worst case scenario. maybe he wasnt a huge liar. maybe thats why he was always trying to hang out. maybe thats what he said in those emails i deleted. maybe i shouldnt ahve overreacted so much. yeah i know he overreacted too but what would i do if i started liking a friend? i mean yeah thsi is an uncomfortable conversation, but he’s not a bad guy, he means well, we were good friends once, i’ll send my mom, or a mutual friend, or a shrink, or pay a black crack bum 20 bucks, to be the bringer of bad news for me.

the fact that she couldnt do ANY of that tells me that she was ANGRY and HATEFUL towards me and WANTED to PUNISH me for HURTING her.

but yeah i’ll never know. going down that rabbit hole again. wouldnt be going down it if i had some MJ, or a JOB, or other women to hang out with, or more friends to hang out with. i mean i have acquaintances who will prob go to the bar tonight…..but i dont really want to go to the bar! but i should go to the bar just to be social right?

yeah but its so loud and packed you cant even TALK to anyone or HEAR anyone. you cant be social when you literally have to scream in someones ear. is it that bad that i avoid these sort of situations? why cant i just go to someones house and play vidya and games and MJ and we can talk at a normal volume and actually hear each other?

but i feel ashamed showing myself when i dont have a job.

and i havent had a job in 16 months hahahaha.

well, i am ok with doing my weekly thing tho.

sooo……do i want to do that thing on saturday night then?

well i mean….i dunno. i wish there were other social options other than the bar, or that social game. for example, a friend i could just hang out with at a home, play vidya, play games, watch tv, take mj hahahaha. MAYBE take mj. i am lacking friends that i am close enough to do that sort of stuff with. to actually have relaxed banter. my other acquaintences are big on sports and tv, i dont know shit about sports and tv. i try to talk about it but i cant get very far. its HARD WORK hahahaha.

when you go down from 36 waist to 34 and have to switch from L underoos to M hahahaha. and XL t shirts to L.

 

 

 

 

COOL IT WITH THE ANTIHUHWHYTE REMARKS

nov 9

wow just wow, i cant even. you white people. so xenophobic and racist and sexist and misogynist. i need a mental health day to meet with my therapist. white people. so afraid to give up oppressing everyone else. i am sad and scared and ashamed. i cant even. i cant believe thsi is happening in 2016. those racist white boomers. white men. i thought they were dying off.

the leftist tears, shitlib tears, the moaning and groaning and its literally the end of the world. so fookin awesome. i dont want to be a sore winner or anything, BUT….. i mean i still hasnt sunk in for me, this is a huge fookin deal, i am just not used to this, i was totally expecting a hillary win, i still dont believe it.

but yeah to watch them whine about muh racism and all that shit they always whine about, but its worse now, but we won, the whites won baby hahaha.

of course not all trump supporters are deplorable racists like me. plenty go out of their way to be anti-racist. probably MOST are anti-racist.

but those shitlibs will call you a racist anyway.i just want to go to twitter and reddit and msm and all these sluts and catgirls.

well supposedly white women went for TRUMP. WOW. i would not expect any women to go for trump.

systematic hatred, voting for HATRED and DIVISION bla bla bla oh god i am so glad these LOSERS LOST. I dont want these people to think that their pathetic weak beliefs are correct. i want them to feel horrible anxiety and fear and hurt their fee fees for the next 4 years. hell yes i am a sore winner hahahahahaha. because these sick degen shitlibs are a fooking CANCER.

no not the everyday people that i see everyday. oh even the real life guy i know that is VERY butthurt right now and engages nonshitlibs in discussions of white privilege and legacy of slavery and structural, systemic racism, and who shakes his head at whites, total ta nehisi coates, atlantic, joo york slimes worhsipper hahaha. professional moving up in his career, making 50k+ a year. he is just so angry and butthurt and disappointed and will probably be complaining for the next 4 years. he is a white man who i have known for years and is a decent guy……but he will never be turned from his shitlibbery. now i dont think he is a bad guy and needs to GET IN THE OVEN like all these other sick traitorous shitlibs. even though he is a total shitlib hahahaha.

so yeah i dont want any harm to come to him because he is basically my friend, but i do enjoy his butthurt to some degree, like saying, yeah youre WRONG with all your BULLSHIT and us evil white men arent ready to DIE OFF just yet. welcome to the REAL WORLD.

but yeah all these shitlib millennials (and older) in joo york and all that shit, they can all hang for treason, hahaha. deplorable traitors.

i am hoping for r10t5 by ghetto blacks and browns, so law and order can come down swiftly hahahaha.

i dont think david duke won though, which is kinda suprising, i thought LA went strong for trump, i know they did.

well there was like 20 other republican in that race……dont they have a damn primary? i didnt know that. i thought he was the only repub candidate for senate.

literally shaking. giving side eye to all the WHITE PEOPLE i see. i just dont want to go out and see WHITE PEOPLE!!!!!!!! evil racist white people voting for trump, for racism, for homophobia and islamophobia and transphobia and guns and slavery and rape!!! the only thing that  that keeps me going is the thought that this is the LAST RATTLE of White Racism, and we just have to stay strong for 4 more years, then the WHITE MAN is DONE.

anyway. as a white person who never tried to be racist, who once cared about being anti racist, i gradually learned that nothing you could do was ever enough. YOU WERE RACIST WITHOUT EVEN KNOWING IT because you didnt bend the knee enough, didnt check your privilege enough. if you were white, these shitlibs saw you as racist unless you did everything you could to suck their dicks, like the punchable face weak phaggots you see in hillary events. and these White Dudes STILL have Internalized Racism bla bla bla.

i did natzi this coming but now shitlibs are really piling the hate on white women. that white women really sold out all WOMEN in favor of their white privilege. because trump did a lot better than expected with white women.

hehehe people saying “fook comey” and blaming comey for “reopening the email investigation” and that ruined hillarys chances, when there wasnt even any real news there hahahaha. so this was all a plan to make hillary look bad before the election.

i never unfriended anybody over their obnoxious political views hahaha. i mean this one guy would be a prime candidate, but i accept him as being a good decent honorable person at heart. with some horribly misguided views that he probably will never change unless some nonwhites start accusing him of being racist, when he is a huge outspoken antiwhite antiracist. a scathing rebuke by nonwhites antiracists antiwhites would probably strike a nerve with him. bbbbut im not racist! i check my white privilege! im sorry for slavery and its legacy! i understand systemic racism! i know all about housing discrimination! urban crisis! i cant be a racist! ive worked so hard to not be a racist! being a racist is the worst thing ever!

this is the common theme, they think being a racist is the worst thing ever. i would admit that it is not. i would admit openly i am “slightly racist. of course these antiracists dont appreciate that honestly, they think WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT? WHY arent you working to overcome your own racism? WHAT ARE YOU DOING ABOUT IT?

heh i will be amused just to hear these losers WHINE for the next FOUR YEARS hahahaha.

i have no precedent for this. still sinking in. still in shock. i didnt expect this. i expected hillary to win!

in 2012 i voted for mitt but also did not really expect him to win, but of course was slightly disappointed when barry won. but not NEARLY as disappointed as these shitlibs are NAO!!!!!!!!!

in 2008 I WAS the naive stupid immature shitlib voting for barry!!!!! and i was like yayyyy hope and change, this is so neat, progressive!

thankfully i got out of that. quitting drinking helped, i think it helped me Get Woke quicker. quit drinking in 2009, and i estimate 2010 was when i FLIPPED.

CA, NV, and MA have approved legal MJ! still waiting on AZ results. and maine.

uhhhh try not to dox but things got kinda heated in muh state, that is to say things were more exciting in this state than they have been in a few elections!

i wonder if it would be easier to sneak MJ out of Mass than out of colorado hahahahahahahahahahahahaha.

defeated in arizona. still waiting on maine. well that SUCKS for arizona! i would be pissed if i were them.

anyway i would be super annoyed if i were on FACEBOOK and reading this guys posts, and everybody else hehehe. but then i would know exactly how shitlib my friends and acquaintances are. but do i really WANT to know?

if they are ALREADY my friends and acquaintences, well, good for them, they are GRANDFATHERED in hahahahaha.

of course i havent made any NEW friends since……..sheeeeeeit. years. That Woman, and this nice young man I used to work with, were the the only real new friends I have made since………………..i dunno 2010 hahahaha. and that nice young man im sure was a bit of a shitlib. actually he seemed Non political but if asked to make a decision as in an election, would prob vote for hillary.

yep i still read this sub hahahaha havent Tasted The Tears from the more political subs hehe. i mean its REDDIT, you know it is gonna get pretty YUCKY in there.

TASTE THE TEARS!!!!!!!!!!

white women, 53% trump, 43% hillary. i am honestly suprised here. i thought at LEAST 60% hillary for white women, basically all women.

American women voted overwhelmingly for Clinton, except the white ones

http://www.slate.com/blogs/xx_factor/2016/11/09/white_women_sold_out_the_sisterhood_and_the_world_by_voting_for_trump.html

so yeah WOMEN on a WHOLE voted for hillary, but WHITE women leaned towards trump.

THANK FOOKING GOD. Maybe it was WHITE WOMEN who were RESPONSIBLE for this.

basically this makes me feel a lot better about white women!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i mean not that i KNOW any white women who voted trump hahahhaahaa. well except this 47 year old woman i saw at this social event who has like 3 kids.

so yeah my friends and colleagues arent really EVIL…….but the people they want to lead them are evil hehehehehe.

im not even sure if the GOD EMPEROR has even spoke publicly since 3am in the morning. he sounded fairly presidential then but i am sure he was tired at the end of the night hehehe.

its kinda like an omega virgin falling in luv with a grill and putting the pvssy on a pedestal. rather than grabbing it hahahaha. our IMAGE of trump and what we WANT him to be are different that who he really is. there is NO WAY he can live up to our expectations. basically its very likely he will sell out and become a basic bitch establishment neocon like jeb bush or something. no wall, no jobs, no deportations, just a lot of tuff talk and no action.

i fully admit that could happen! and we will be disappointed.

but yeah i think even if/when trump disappoints, there will be other people like him, better than him, more alt right than him. he is just the beginning, but we do need somebody to be the first. when he disappoints, there will be someone else who does not disappoint.

so yeah i am fully prepared that he will sell out or soften in some way.

anyway last night in public there was still some hope that hillary would win. i thought hillary was gonna win. resigned myself hehehe. now these same people will be butthurt as hell today. i am going to a social thing tonight where the people will not be happy hehehehe.

oh well not my problem.

search white people on twitter

white guy saying white people are the worst, ugh,  i cant wait until white people are not a majority any more.

looks like we underestimated the evil white racists and this is a dreadful, disgusting reminder of how much power they still have, and how far we still need to go, in being ultra progressive degenerates. we need more tolerance and more progressiveness hehehehe.

theyve been saying this shit for years, but now they are at a fever pitch with it, AND they LOST. YOU LOSE.  its hard to be a good winner about it!

heh. i do want them to feel despair, i have felt despair for years. i want them to despair so hard they fail at life, lose their jobs, lose their rels, go completely fookin insane. but they already ARE insane! yeah but they are also VALIDATED by having good jobs and somewhat good rels! they need more rejection and defeat in their lives hahahahaha.

its just more funny to think of the white shitlibs i know. its like, is your life really ruined now? is this really SO bad? youre still here, youre still making 50k a year, you still have a gf or wife or kid, you still are respected and can cry with your intelligent educated shitlib friends about how horrible the white man is, go to your hugbox hahaha. this isnt really a a huge loss FOR YOU hehehehe. but you feel sooooo bad on behalf of the muslims and women and nonwhites and latinos and blacks who are being BULLIED by this playground BULLY. chad the white fratboy bully.

i mean you HAVE to be upset, to SIGNAL that youre NOT A RACIST!

only RACISTS are not hugely upset about this!

i wonder how much longer i will be able to hide. i mean i wont be bitching for the next 4 years like These People hehehehe.

unrelated but i hadnt heard this yet, pretty funny

dunno just havent had A Win in 12 years hahahaha and this is a much bigger win hehehe. i mean this is huge election, very important in history…..and i was on the right side of it. the right side of history. i wont tell my children that i was some whining shitlib on suizid watch hehehe. i will say yes i was one of those strong proud free white men hehehe.  then i never got a white wife and never had white children cuz they went for the more alpha trump supporters, of which there are many hahaha.

WHITELASH HAHAHAHAHAHA

i remember in…..2006 or 07 i had this idea of “white backlash” like white people that were so threatened and fragile. remember i was still a stupid shitlib and voted for obongo in 2008, while also getting drunk all the time and thinking that whites oppressed everybody and were afraid of all nonwhites. and then demonized and victim blamed their victims. and did white flight and moved to white suburbs and bitched about how shitty blacks were.

thank GOD that by 2016 I changed my views and got on THE RIGHT SIDE OF HISTORY. hahahaha.

get ready for 8 years of WHITELASH and WHITESPLAINING.

HOPEFULLY the shitlibs whine and complain SO MUCH that eventually white people are like DAMN you people WHINE about WHITE PEOPLE so much,

COOL IT WITH THE ANTIWHITE REMARKS!!!!!!!!!!

thats kinda what set me on the path. nothing was good enough for these people. either you were antiwhite or you were part of the white problem. i was like, come on, white people arent THAT bad! cant i say one good thing about white people? white people ended black slavery. white people stopped hitler and ended your damn shoah. and its still not enough. because whites are the cancer of humanity, whites oppress everyone, whites are the worst. ok then.

that was a real thing for me in turning me. i just got sick of the antiwhite remarks. i dont hate anyone. i sorta even believe in white privilege. just…..stop bashing whites so damn much! jeez! we might be the cancer of the human race but were not that bad! i mean blacks, joos, and arabs are all pretty goddamn bad, we’re every bti as good as them hahahaha.

also becoming jq wise helped.

heh. this might help me get over That Woman.

I mean, its a YUGE thing, its a GREAT thing, a very POSITIVE thing.

getting a JOB would be another positive thing…….but thats been hard as fook. harder and longer than TRUMP going from a “joke” to GOD EMPEROR. DONT FOOK WITH US. THE SLEEPING GOY AWAKENS.

nov 10

dear god. try to use muh computer and turns out the fookin HARD DRIVE IS DEAD. well at least pretty sure it is. never had that happen before. it was making weird beeping noise. well, it turned on initially, then “disk” (not cpu!) was at 99%, so i tried to restart, ended up doing hard power off. then it wouldnt turn back on. gave error message about cant boot or something, check boot order, it basically was not being recognized. and it was beeping. for a few months before it has been clicking, i guess thats not good.

watched a few youtube videos, one showed that you could temporarily fix this by removing the hard drive and battery, then “reseating” them. I carefully found the hard drive (not difficult) and pulled it out (little moar tricky because didnt know if i was doing it right or breaking it). took it out, looked at it like a monkey, looked at the connections, looked at the label, blew on the connectors like a nintendo cartridge, tried to turn it back on, and same old shit. still beeping. cant get to windows. cant get to anything.

ended up making a Quick Decision. i need muh damn laptop!!!!! it is absolutely essential for jobz.

using previous laptop which is 4 times slower but the hard drive still works! its worked for 4 years and the new laptop hard drive only worked for 1 and a half! DISGRACEFUL!!!!!!

warranty was over after 1 year. figures.

who even KNOWS if it IS the hard drive? I am taking a gamble here.

but seriously folks. this old computer. its shameful that i let muh family use something that is SO SLOW. I just spent some money to buy some more ram for it. it still wont be fast but right now its so slow you cant even use it. you gotta turn off the antivirus just to type in blogs hahahaha.

basically can only have 3 tabs open. 2 gigs of ram. disgraceful. i cant LET my FAMILY use this! but they havent really complained about it. oh well. do the right thing. the hard drive is good at least.

anyway. went way over on cals yesterday, but stayed in the limit today. good. did 10 pushups today, good. only 2.2 miles of walking, meh.

went so far over the cals yesterday, absolutely obscene.

losing weight is 90% diet (what you eat) and 10% exercise.

fookin hard drive. i like the computer, just ridiculous the hard drive failed.

what if it didnt fail. what if it was…….the hard drive connector that is built into the motherboard. im assuming. i really dont like computers. i am just above average amerifat at working with them. good enough to make 15 an hour at a computer job…………..that is horribly stressful and involves being thrown into situations where you have to fix and explain shit where you have no idea what youre doing, being slammed by impatient and angry people ALL DAY EVERY DAY.

is that really worth 15 an hour?

had a dream last night that did not have HER, but it was like i was hanging out with people and we were doing a scavenger hunt and we went to a bowling alley i think and the instruction was, find the thing in here that reminds you of That Woman. There is one specific thing here that is a blatant reference to Her, if you really know her.

then i got all mad and was like you dont know her! you dont know her! all you people think she is so great but she’s not that great. i dont want to play this stupid game any more. she broke my heart. shes not some angel. i dont want to hear you saying how great and awesome she is. shes not THAT awesome.

so i was all butthurt. and everyone was like oh. well. sorrrrrrrrry. so you dont like her. youre a weirdo anyway. she prob had a good reason to dump you. she’s still a great awesome person.

then there was a woman with pink hair who may or may not have been her. i guess the idea was, i havent seen her in 2 years, and i wouldnt recognize her, ESPECIALLY if she got pink hair.  the pink hair girl was only in the dream for 2 seconds.

so then today i was slightly sad because i was like, wow, at one time we had a really good thing. and it went SO bad. i never wanted to hurt her, and i never wanted her to become so disappointed in me. she was a good influence in muh life, and her thinking of me as a horrible bad influence was HORRIBLE for my self esteem hahaha. you dont have to like me back, just dont think im a horrible person. i cant handle YOU thinking im a horrible person. that k’s me.

so yeah. when you lose a great person, and they treat you like you are a monster, its a lot harder than if you lost a shitty person, or they didnt treat you like a monster, because now you blame yourself so hard for pushing Your Perfect Soulmate out of your life and you have no one to blame but yourself.

but people ruin their own lives all the time!!!!!!! and they SHOULD blame themselves!

and people DO push people away ALL THE TIME!!! they abuse their longsuffering wife who rightfully leaves them!

so naturally i think i am one of those bad horrible people.

but im really NOT, but its hard to stop those thoughts.

so thats the hardest thing.

well it would prob be harder if we were ACTUALLY “dating” and i pushed her away from THAT. cuz i would have lost even MORE. and then i would have loathed muh self even MORE.

when really yeah i mean i was awkward and cowardly and WEAK.  but i wasnt waiting in the wings with ulterior motives like a nice guy. which is enough to legit rightfully drive a person away. and i hate that she thinks I am like that. but i can see how she could. but i hate that a person i care about things so low of me and she is gonna live with that memory of me forever. when im not really THAT BAD. and she was a great person i wanted to have children with hahahahahaha. a good white wife. and now i gotta find another one. that i have actual real feelings for. and not some thot hahahahaha. thot genocide.

but yeah whatever. i lost a very very very important person to me and they hate me and will remember me wrongly forever. no big deal. you can easily replace all that. hahahaha.

all these idiots think trump is FULL OF HATE. wheres the HATE i ask? how is he HATEFUL?

how is he a BIGOT?

you will hear HATEFUL or BIGOT whenever these losers start talking. they are even bigger losers than I am. at least i am not ashamed of being white hahahaha. but i am ahsamed of being a weak loser who loses more than leftist shitlib antiwhite antiracist swpls hahahaha.

what if this new hard drive does not fix the computer?

i also had to buy an acer windows recovery disc from acer so i can reinstall windows. because microsoft, saw muh activation key, said nope you gotta go to the manufacturer for this one. put in serial number at acer, i am kindly allowed to buy one disc forever for 20 bucks. no downloads hahaha.  there are grammar and spelling mistakes on the acer website. i should have not gotten an acer. fook them. the refurbished dell inspiron…..sorry latitude is a more solid computer.

and oops i ordered the same brand of hard drive that was in there. didnt really shop around for hard drives.  seagate brand. well it had a good rating at newegg.

well well see. if it doesnt work then i just totally wasted 60 bucks and then next thing will prob be drop even MOAR money on a totally new comp. sheeeeeeeeeeit.

well ghoul from TRS has revealed his RL face, kind of a big thing. he is starting a new show on youtube. i was shocked at how handsome and normie chad he looks like. i figured he would be an ugly autist from the way he talks. all awkward autistic. but noooo. he looks like a healthy fashy handsome spencelerian white ubermensch. GREAT.

however it kinda made me like him more.

but also made me envious.

on 30 minutes in the oven, they interviewed ghoul once and hes like, its really not that hard to find a good woman, you can find one in a BAR, you just gotta put yourself out there, talk to people, show initiative, be a somewhat interesting guy.

easy for you to say, handsome chad!

but yeah just from the awkward way he talked, and the fact that hes doing a philosophy phd (i think), i figured he would be a huge virgin. but NOOOOOOO he prob has a good gf.

well good for him i guess. but its a hell of a lot harder for some of us. or, we finally DO, and they leave us because we are horrible and weak and push them away by being too needy hahaha.

 

 

 

THE SEVEN WEEK ITCH

oct 19

welp got 2 interview invites in 1 day, bringing muh average “up” to 1/19 hahahaha. 1 interview for every 19 apps. better than target of 1 out of 20 hahahahaha.

1 for IT Quality Assurance at healthcare place, that might be good. i dont have QA experience but i wish i did and I am fundamentally committed to the idea of quality! hahahaha.

and then interview for part time city job which i would like to get.

ok, this time, DONT TELL THE SECOND PLACE THAT THEY ARE SECOND PLACE!!!!

meaning, DONT be “up front” or “transparent” that I am interview with place xyz and that if they offer me the job, i have to take it!

my previous thought was, this makes me not look desperate. like i am a man with options. this might work with women, but not sure about Jobs. Jobs might only want you if THEY are your FIRST choice. by saying you’d take another job, you’re telling them they are not your first choice. therefore they wont pick you.

so, 2 interviews next week. and now up to 25 interviews, 479 apps. i was shooting for 25 and 500, so, even better.

25 interviews was kinda my Magic Number tho. like THERES NO WAY I wont get a job after 25 interviews.

course thats what I said about 20!

WELL, some of these things werent really INTERVIEWS tho. I added .5 for Testing Sessions and Phone Interviews.

well a phone interview is kinda an interview right? its at LEAST TWICE as stressful as taking a test right? so i really should count phone interviews for 1 instead of .5.

 

hehehehe i did not really get HEADDESK FACEPALM issues like this, i kinda wish i did, because then they would be EASY and I could EASILY BLAME the Stupid Idiot Luser and be CONFIDENT that I was right and knew what i was doing. When in reality i would get WEIRD shit and think, DAMN, I know even LESS than the User! I have no idea what this thing they’re using even is! I have to fix a tool they’re using which I’ve never seen or heard of before!

go to tales from tech support and read all the Long and especially Extra Long stories. that is kind of what our stuff was like hahahaha. Extra Long.

I am closer to these shockingly idiot Users than I am to Tech Support! so why am i am WORKING for tech support! i empathize and sympathize wiht the Lusers too much!

DOGSBODY. this is def a british people word, for “administrative assistant” or “secretary” or “factotum” or person who does the shit jobs noone else wants to do. slave, lackey, minion, grunt, monkey, meat.

a Half Day Shadow is more than enough to fully train you for everything in your job! Thank You Sir for the PRivilege of a Half Day Shadow!

2 interview invites in 1 day, thats gotta count for something right. so to celebrate, think i will only apply to 1 job (baby step), then do 10 pushups (baby step), then do a 1 hour powerwalk (kind of a baby step hahahaha), listen to new fatherland episode (not a baby step but a full pleasure, very comfy, like cuddling a QT or smokin a big MMJ hahahaha)

it is VERY frustrating when you apply for a job, then see the cover letter you used, and see that it has a mistake in it: misspelling, wrong company, wrong position title, some sort of error. and then you think, theres GOT to be ones i’m NOT catching. and i’ve caught at least 2 or 3 in the past 100 or so.

sheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeit.

 

 

like these tales from reddits

 

how to train your call centre dogsbodies

 

she has only ever been with OP, and the 2nd guy she fooked was this “gay guy” she fooked when fooked up one night. cheating on the OP.  now gf is crawling back and saying pls forgive me, take me back, you can fook other gurls, pls just take me back. OP has a bad feeling and doesnt really want to. i would probably say I FORGIVE YOU BABEY bla bla bal and then she would cheat on me again and give me aids hahahaah. grids.

once a cheater, always a cheater!

NOT EVEN ONCE!

So if I made it 30+ years without cheating “EVEN ONCE”…..uh i kinda want to STAY that way! and i also want a woman for muh wife who has never cheated even once.

 

 

heh this is what i dont like about reddit. they think the father is a horrible bigot because he doesnt want his 20 year old white daughter taking the BBC. well, i guess they could be jooish, here’s a situation where joos would call themselves white.

and she is JUST FINDING OUT her father is “racist.” because he has black friends and hasnt given any indication that hes a HORRIBLE BIGOT until his 20 yo daughter brings home a black silverback!

and all the reddit scum agree, oh yes, he’s a horrible person.

 

gf dumped guy, broke his poor heart, now is upgrading to a better man, and dumped boifran continues to torture and blame himself. yeah this sucks. its better when they downgrade to a shittier man…..but many times they dont hahahaha.  YOU are the shittier man because youre a big loser in life.

it just sucks when they Move On so QUICKLY and yeah i would like to see reddit shame the xgf for that. like you cant take more than a few weeks to be single and Process the Dead Rel? you IMMEDIATELY go out and find someone WAY better? at least accept that that is gonna do a NUMBER on this sad sack guy!

well at least he’s young and near to finishing an engin degree so the odds are in his favor of getting a good job with that.

i might just RESPOND on this thread because hes not getting enough sympathy!!!!!

yeah i responded with a rambling, incoherent, autistic thing. see if you can find it hahahahahahaha.

guy gets feelings for his close female friend. she doesnt feel the same way. he doesnt know what to do. they work together. but she doesnt HATE him for it and they still talk and she prob wants to be friends. well he is way more successful than me and younger than me hahahahaha. so i say just make money and bang bitches and put her on the SUPER back burner.

 

when she LITERALLY TELLS YOU she wants to “put you on the shelf” and fook other guys, DUMP HER!!!!!!! not ok!!!!!!

/r/relships is good in that there is a lot of input, some of it good.

/r/anxiety and /r/depression are both GODAWFUL because there are 10% of the posts here, and they are not very high quality. /r/relships always tells you go to therapy, and its just funny. they REALLY need therapy on anx and dep.  i mean, there is terrible/no advice on these. nothing actually useful. just yep i want to K muh self too, its hopeless, the end.

at least on relships they TRY. and the women give shitty annoying advice but half of the women TRY, and 75% of the men TRY.

THIRSTY. MEN ARE NATURALLY THIRSTY.

80% of men DONT REPRODUCE. 80% of men cant get a woman. 80% of men have been celibate for 2 years or longer. of COURSE most 80% of men are “THIRSTY” hahahahahahaha.

but you see what im saying. most men dont have any OPTIONS they can CHOOSE from. BEGGARS cant be CHOOSERS. BEGGARS are THIRSTY. its not BAD for them to be thirsty. dont THIRST SHAME them!

dont THIRST SHAME a man whose been crawling in the desert for 10 years!

in fact, to continue with this thirst metaphor, thirst is not inherently bad! it means you’re suffering because you’re not getting something you NEED!

so the proper response is, dont SHAME them, say oh noes, THIS MAN IS DYING OF THIRST! HE NEEDS SOME WATER STAT!!!!!!!!!!!!

now its not anyones JOB to do that for him….but his own skills may well be weakened. compromised.

so i should just go to a hooker is what you’re saying?

well i would much rather go to a FWB.

oct 20

sheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeit. interesting scenario, go to my usual social event and a new gurl is there, about 25 years old, white, very qt, friend of acquaintance of mine, so i figure thats fine, hes got DIBS on her if he wants, but i’m not entirely sure what his motives are, but if i think she is QT he prob does too!

she seems not super obnoxious or bitchy in personality, but also lets slip some potential huge baggage, like fam members dying of drugs, possibly crazy x bf’s, lots of male friends, possibly dated a black guy, or a guy with a REALLY black sounding name lets just say. who knows how many abortions, how manny cox.

and yet i found myself attracted to her, like wow what a qt, i dont care if she’s crazy, i dont care if she had a black boifran, i dont care if she’s been with about 10 guys by age 25, i just care that shes qt and doesnt have any children. and if she were showing me interest right now, i would like that a lot and i would get over That Woman a lot faster.

and then i felt ashamed and inferior because my social skills are pretty bad, i cannot keep up with banter with the normies, i dont hang out and go to the bar or bowling with the normies, and i have terrible Game and cannot Talk To Women, and thought “i have nothing to talk about with this woman. she has quickly written me off as the most boring guy ever. by age 25 women dont want to waste time with BORING, quiet, awkward guys.”

my excuse was, i just assumed the other guy had “DIBS” on her and I was happy to respect that. but if he DIDNT, and was just looking for a Degen FWB, which is actually very possible, and it’s Open Season, then yeah my game was horrible omega vrigin neet style.

so that made me not feel so confident. like a failure with women.

and also just felt like a failure socially in general cuz my normie acquaintances go out to bar and bowling together, even if they have to Work the next morning, and I am just realy awkward abotu hanging out. I cant contribute to the hilarious banter very smoothly and i do not show tonnes of interest in hanging out, HOWEVER these are decent people and it would be GOOD for me to hang out more, socialize, with decent people.

i mean i do try to be nice and try to act normie, but i just can’t keep up with the stream of constant banter. its not even ball busting banter, but just making jokes like a well adjusted normie. nothing mean spirited or douche baggy, like i say, these are decent positive people.

so yeah a bit of double whammy socially last night hahaha: i am terrible with women, i am terrible with people.

i thought of how high this gurls number would have to be to be a dealbreaker. probably 10, i thought. she can come in under 10 at age 25 right? thats not asking too much?

but what about the fooked up family? was she molested? ever raeped? was there really black guys she fooked? how many black guys? how many white guys hahahaha. is she a cheater? abortions? how many fwb’s? hows your father?

and you cant really ask ANY of these questions as small talk hahahahahahahaha but she did let some pretty big hints slip, and she wasnt even talking to me!

OCCAMS RAZOR sez, I just wanted to bang her because she was a young qt, fit my A E S T H E T I C pretty well as a pale skinned, long haired semi “alternative” gurl, who does MJ and is not a huge social butterfly. Chill Cool Gurl. and then i thought DAMN I would like to DO her, but I would ALSO like cuddling with her, and making out with her, and trying the nice sweet GFE with her.

WITHOUT EVEN KNOWING IF SHE WAS GFE AT ALL!

Basically if the woman is even close to my “type” physically, I will want to try the GFE with her. meaning, potential for FEELINGS.

so it was nice knowing that i could very likely get Real, True feelings for a woman again, AND also lower my unrealistically high standards: been with less than 10 guys AND no black guys AND no abortions AND no cheating AND no fooked up family AND no kids AND 25-27 yo AND 6.8/10 hahahahaha.

sheeeeeeit she MIGHT have children, she just didnt say anything about that. i guess having children is the REAL dealbreaker. she could be a huge mudshark slut for all I care.

well of COURSHE these things would have SERIOUS implications in a serious LTR, but uhhhh ive never gotten that far before. i guess i would gladly take the GFE for 3 months until i get dumped by a mudshark slut for being too clingy hahahahaha.

ok a 25m complaining about his 19 yo gf that she is immature and bad communicator. so why doesnt she just dump him hahaha.

WELL, my question is, HOW MUCH maturity should you EXPECT out of a 25 year old WOMAN?

i hate this, well, you can only be SO MATURE at such and such an age. people dont MATURE till age 40.

heres the thing hehehe: 25 is in a real gray area here. we can all agree that 20 is immature, 30 is mature. so what does that make 25 then? it could go both ways obviously.

ALSO, its not like this GF is running away from her older BF. she is posting on reddit in a way to Try To Help.

anyway. the good the bad and the ugly.

the GOOD thing about “meeting” this new woman yesterday (i had actually met her once before like 9 months ago?) is that it taught me that I AM capable of getting feelings for a woman in the future. that is not THAT woman hahaha.

the bad and the ugly, well we just went over all that above. really it might be ALL TOO EASY for me to get feelings for a BAD woman! like this new woman has red and yellow flags pointing to dumpster fire, but here I am wanting to do GFE with her! Rough Secs sure, but also tender secs and tender cuddling and dating!

basically you want to be nice to the young qt woman and have her be nice back to you, EVEN IF she is the biggest dumpster fire in the history of the world! you will put on the rose colored glasses and just IGNORE everything in favor of you FANTASY! you will WILLINGLY DELUDE YOURSELF!!!!!

and that is EXACTLY what I did for That Woman!!!!!!!! I willingly bought into a FANTASY so much that I thought the fantasy was reality!!!!!!!

this can happen when you are lonely and desperate and thirsty and you have a female friend who is 25, qt, no children, and somewhat nice. BOOM. ALL OVER.

well this got muh confidence back up, i just got TWO MORE INTERVIEWS today.

TWO INTERVIEWS PER DAY FOR TWO DAYS IN A ROW.

THAT is TRULY UNPRECEDENTLY.

FOUR INTERVIEWS IN TWO DAYS.

This is the biggest thing since actually DOING two interviews in one day. (although that sucked. here im talking about the INVITATION to interview. which does NOT suck hahahaha.)

which brings MUH NUMBER up to 27!!!!! HORRY SHEET!!!!!

so yeah good pipeline.

the two i got today are: one from “bank”, HR woman called me and said well you didnt get the tech job (i knew this) but they were offering ANOTHER interview for me that i had applied to in april, didnt get anything for, they reposted it, and then HR called me and said i didnt even need to apply again, they would just give me an interview. so yeah i was really impressed by this HR woman. well she DOES have a masters degree. i mean i generally get a very solid respectable culture vibe from this company, i like it. it is refreshing.

next interview was at my old old employer, now this is a PT job, not super enthused about this one, but this place i associate with good easy PT jobs, albeit low paying and no more than 25 hours a week tops, but its close, and easy.

but i would take the higher paying PT job from this other place i am interviewing next wed.

applied for 1 job today when i was interrupted in that by the two phone calls. hehehehe.

so when i get secsual feelings for a woman, its VERY EASILY extrapolated to “romantic” feelings. for me there is not a huge disconnect between secs and romance. which i think is the old school, natural, traditional, nondegen way to be! what GOD has made one, man should not separate!

ok. wewlad all these interviews and phone calls.

i think its ok to say i have interviews to the other employers. just dont say, well this other place is my first choice. but its PERFECTLY FINE and a good move to say, oh i cant meet you on that day, I HAVE ANOTHER INTERVIEW.

course now that i have SAILED past 25, maybe that is GAAAAAAWWWWWWD telling me that I actually need to get to 30 interviews, not 25.

but 25 is a much better number than 30!

really 33 or 34 is a better number than darn 30.

just know that chill, introverted, quiet, nonobnoxious women STILL have 60000000000000000000000 guy friends because men have to do all the Heavy Lifting of being Charismatic, Interesting, Initiative, Drivers Seat, etc. a woman doesnt have to do anything to have 60000000000000000000000000 except RESPOND to texts.

she can be kinda plain, a 6.6/10, as long as she is 25 and no kids, she will have NO SHORTAGE of Male Friends, and from them, and ENDLESS SUPPLY of potential suitors, fook buddies, whatever she wants.

im not saying this is wrong or bad, i just get BUTTHURT when i see women taking that for GRANTED. that i DO get butthurt about.

also its ANNOYING when women complain about their BF’s getting JELOUS and CONTROLLING because they are upset the gf has 600000000000000 male friends. but then the women complain when the bf has female friends, or, even more interesting, a female “BEST FRIEND.”

YOU SHOULDNT HAVE A “BEST FRIEND” OF THE OPPOSITE SEX. THAT IS EMOTIONALLY CHEATING ON YOUR BF.

or gf or whatever.

ideally, you would be single and available, and make your opposite sex Best Friend your actual Boifran. because best friend implies  closeness, intimacy, emotional connection that really MUDDIES THE WATERS when it is across Gender Lines. one person ALWAYS WANTS MORE hehehehe.

http://www.livescience.com/5031-hypermiling-driving-tricks-stretch-miles-gallon.html

heh. this is me. i would rather drive at 30 mph everywhere than stop at lights hahahahaha.

HYPERMILING hehehehe

i am not as obsessive about fuel efficiency, i just hate stopping at lights hahaha.

bbbbbut i still feel bad about being so PUSHY to her that she BLOCKED me.

bbbbbut i thought she didnt have to BLOCK me, she could have TALKED to me THEN blocked me.

bbbbbbut maybe im underestimating what a HORRIBLE CREEP NARCISSIST WOMAN HATER SCARY BABY I’m being!

ken bone said “i saw jennifer lawrences butt hole, and I liked it” on reddit hahahahaha.

i bet he did! i bet I would too! and any red blooded man!

i think i briefly looked at some of those pictures but not very long and dont remember a BHole pic, which is especially titillating.

then you think of your version of That Woman and how men have photos of HER BHole on THEIR phone. and women think all these guys just DELETE these pictures once they are done fooking. COME ON.

and i never even made out with her, or cuddled with her, or spent enough time with her, or got her to make an effort for me. show ME her BHole and gush jooice all over muh D. which she does for every tyrone and rodney and dontravius.

and i hate how i was so stupid and omega and weak and pushy that i Pushed her to this. i became what women hate the most: a spineless, supplicating orbiter, not even worthy of a courtesy text before Blocking.

well at least i didnt stalk her and Hound her afterwards. yeah i sent her emails. EMAILS. big deal. yeah they were long but she prob didnt even read them. might have just BLOCKED them.

what if your GF accuses you of being abusive, gaslighting, controlling, manipulating, a horrible person, but you dont think you are those things, but you do know you are a little jealous, clingy, needy, which maybe leads to some semi-controlling things, but not what you would call abusive or manipulative or gaslighting?

never teach women these words because they will use them against you hahahahaha. stop GASLIGHTING me! she’ll say, when you are calling her out for something genuinely ridiculous.

tyrone and leroy and rodney dont GASLIGHT me! they fook me HARD and take pictures of muh BHole and I like it!

also these women will be thrown for a LOOP when they see how WILLING I am to go to counseling with them. oh you think im controlling? well ok lets go to a shrink right now to fix this, unless youd rather walk away!

and then they would probably walk away, and spend a year trying to beg dontravius to go to a counselor hahahaha.

also women can CONVERT a male friend to a Lover at least 100 times more easily than a man can convert a female friend to a lover. AND THATS A DAMN FACT!!!!!

and i am NOT just talking about the other FACT that women have many MORE male friends than men have female friends. but controlling for this factor. because im very CONTROLLING hahahahaha.

 

ex gf returns 5 years later to apologize, make better closure, now ex bf is obsessing about her again, then she says lets go NC, and he is all confused and in luv with her again.

this is exactly why you go NC in the first place. while trying to have mature communication and get as much “CLOSURE” as you can at the time. you have like a 1 month window to get closure, then its over. NC 4 LYFE. Till Death.

heh. took some nyquil for the first time in a while. a whole dose. which will prob lead to “hangover” tomorrow.

well thing to remember is nyquil makes you dehydrated so you should drink A LOT of water right after taking it.

yeah i would still rather smoke MJ, but, really wouldnt want to do that with FOUR interviews coming up hehehehehe.

heheheh now thinking about getting a PO box for a few months just so i can have MMJ correspondence sent there. then i can always cancel it after like 2 or 3 months.

can get a small po box for 3 months for 20-25 bucks. this would be worf it to me hahahaha.

 

he is right to be suspicious! also he is too trusting of HER hehehehe.  so of course now HE is the one with “TRUST ISSUES.” what a bunch of manhaters hahaha.

 

interesting read hehehehe cuz yeah you can get an idea how they run their business by their priorities and the decisions they make in fixing problems. bandaids, fires, short term vs long term focus, etc.

heres a good one. i am still not sure whats going on. yet its my job to tell albert that this is the only workaround. also i dont have a manager who is approving me to escalate it to engineering. and albert would instead argue with me, well why CANT a patch fix it? why does it HAVE to be a full upgrade? and i would say I dont know, I can’t explain it to you, and I can’t transfer you to the guy who is telling me it CANT BE DONE.

but honestly, isnt that case a little CONFUSING? and you need to solve it in 20 minutes? every 20 minutes, a new weird case like this, all day, every day?

even the comments just make stupid jokes about vladimir without trying to clairfy the salty snacks patch business.

anyway. i just want to know if i did something really horrible to a person, or not. because i dont want to do horrible things to people! damn!

i really dont think i did! but i also dont trust my judgment, esp on relships!

but still. i dont think i did something horrible evil.

but it WAS a CLUSTERFOOK of a situation that would take AT LEAST a year to even START to make ANY progress. just being close to something THAT clusterfooky is bad.

i mean i dont WANT to be a horrible person! I WANT TO BE A GOOD PERSON!!! PRINCIPLED!!!!!!!!

though WOMEN think I am a horrible person, IM REALLY NOT A HORRIBLE PERSON? OR AM I?

WELL I REALLY DONT WANT TO BE!!!!!!!

im not as bothered by this as all this shouting makes it seem. although i certainly WAS!

right now i am just zoned out on nyquil. kinda bored tbh but too lazy to do anything. if i had MJ i would totes do it. lots of it. just waiting to go to bed tbh.

so right now i am more worried about the job situation than i am about that woman, and also some worrying about All Women In General, and generalizing TOO MUCH from That Woman To All Women, and i should NOT do that.

Not All Women Are Like That Woman!!!!!!!!!!1

and that woman wasnt even that BAD. but it was just that one thing that i didnt like. well not all women will do that one thing. namely dump you without a word, just a straight blocking.

oct 21

ok next day after full dose of nyquil. not a bad “hangover” at all. better than expected. and lemme make clear, the worst nyquil hangover is way better than the best alcohol hangover!

it is just IMPOSSIBLE to be Confident Around Women (and to a lesser extent, men) when you are a Jobless Bum!!!!!!!!

well maria bartiromo is like 50 years old and i would GLADLY bang the shit out of her and her huge probably fake tits. and i dont normally even pay attention to tits hahahahaha. i am much more of a legs/ass/hips man.

i mean her i wouldnt get any delusions or fantasies about the GFE because she is an Old Hag. i guess this si the ideal type of women to have for FWB. but tbh less than 1% of 50 year old women look nearly as good as her.

i dunno. i just hate having to explain to angry customers why we cant do this, when i dont understand why we cant do this. and i dont know if they are just being a bad customer, or my company is being a bad company. or really both are shitty, but whos worse. SHOULD the company be screwing THIS customer in THIS case.

finally passed the 2 thousand dollars of Work amount, which really is not a lot. in terms of Hours Of Work on muh job search, times 12 dollars an hour. i have only done 168 hours of actual work on the job search. which is DISGRACEFUL hahahahaha.

good lord. i dont ever want to become this blind hhahaha. its like she doesnt even realize CHEATING is horribly bad!

and this is the guys WIFE of SEVEN years. DAMN. maybe that is the “7 year itch.” shit i dunno. i never made it to seven MONTHS. technically, not even seven WEEKS.

bitches get the seven WEEK itch with me, hahahahahahahahaha.

the seven DAY itch, 7 HOUR itch more like it, amirite. can only keep a womans interest for 7 hours. great job. hahahaha.

i’m not THAT uninteresting! if women cared about IMPORTANT things, theyd see i was VERY interesting!

but then again, a woman who is too interested in politics is inherently crazy!

well, what about a woman who is super interested in MORALITY??!?!?!?!

yeah i would be ok with that. that would be great. because then she would be very interested in not being a dirty whore or cheater. yes.

and if she’s crazy…..well ALL women are CRAZY, just give me the ones that are MORAL. as long as their craziness doesnt compromise their MORALITY and make them behave immorally, like cheating, abandoning, or being a slut. then give me crazy moral all day erryday 4 lyfe.

shit who cares. as long as they are moral to me. shit go ahead and cheat on me, just dont dump me hahahahaha. work out a DEAL with me to dump me in a way that i can handle. like negotiating a payment plan.  to wean me off of you. and give me a pound of MJ too.

was reading city-data forums today. people in my region talking about getting a college degree and making 50k in their mid twenties. now im 30 and make 60k without a masters degree. i just had to have a good work ethic and work 70 to 80 hours a week for the first few years to pay my dues.

heh thing is, i dont want to work 80 hours a week to pay my dues.  would just as soon go crazy and quit!!!!!!!

why cant you jusy pay your dues at 40-50 hours a week?

how do people handle this?

i KNOW that having a qt waifu would help take the edge off, as would a steady source of MJ.

you can have another boifran, even a black one, just let me have my fantasy, dont talk about him, and hang out with me 1 or 2 times a week. and dont give me any diseases. and when you cut me off lets work out a cutting off PLAN.

i was doing a 3.2 mile powerwalk and about 1.5 miles from muh home I found, on the ground, a little canister for MMJ. horree sheet. it was broken and there was nothing in it OF COURSHE, but i just thought it was funny, considering muh obsession with getting a MMJ card and ultimately, a neverending supply of MMJ, and I would not throw my canisters on the side of the road like a negro.

maybe I should have Scraped the Canister for some Kief Krystals hahahahahahahahaha.

heh i dont necessarily think women would CHEAT on me with their male friends, but i WOULD totally worry that they, social butterflies that they are, always meeting interesting hot new guys, that they would find a guy that is better in the Mate Market than me, and then dump me for him.

i mean thats BETTER than CHEATING, but I really do HATE being DUMPED. replaced. traded in for an UPGRADE. really i cant imagine cheating being much worse. i mean the shit is probably gonna end anyway. might as well get as much time wiht the woman as you can.

yeah but she could give you a disease. and really cheating IS worse than dumping. why would you want to spend another minute with someone so immoral.

well maybe if someone cheats on you, its easier for you to HATE them, therefore easier to GET OVER them, because it’s much easier to BLAME them for doing smething OBVIOUSLY HORRIBLE. where dumping is not really horrible at all. you cant really HATE someone for dumping you. theyre not really WRONGING you. in the way that cheating is.

 

what a fooking dumb idiot slut. guy point blank tells her he doesnt like just secs without dating, she wants “just secs” from her “CRUSH” no less. I thought CRUSH meant you LIKED the person and wanted to DATE them. which is clearly what HE wants to do. i would like to think a 22 year old could be more mature than this. than a big slutty BABY.

https://www.reddit.com/r/niceguys/

OH GODDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD

sluts who fook chads and hate niceguys make fun of and mainly talk about how evil and rapey and creepy niceguys are, and how its so much better when chad nuts in their eye hahahahaha.

what i never got is, why do YOU LIKE treating people as a DOORMAT?

if someone were throwing themselves under my feet and wanting me to be a doormat, i mean it wouldnt even work, because IM NOT WILLING TO WALK ON ANOTHER PERSON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

IN ORDER TO BE A DOORMAT, THE WOMAN HAS TO BE WILLING TO WALK ON YOU!!!!!!!

i would say listen, stop being a doormat, Im not gonna walk on you.

no im not the worst niceguy ever, but i have some niceguy tendencies, and i can sympathize with some niceguys.

I mean honestly i would never say these things, i stopped saying woe is me, nice guys finish last, yeaaarrrrrssssss ago, so i am thankful for that. but i am still a meek timid nice guy. i know GOD DAMN ALL TOO FOOKING WELL that it doesnt entitle me to anything and that it is THE SHITTIEST, WORST strategy ever, and that women HATE nice guys.

i mean i wish they didnt hahahahahahahaha. stupid bitches and whores hahahaha.

apparently referring to women as “females” is telltale nice guy, means you treat them as a separate, unknowable species. dead giveaway.

i mean i very rarely use this term, i just say women to mean the same thing, a seaparate, stupid, slutty, species hahahaha.

anyway yeah what made things difficult with That Woman is that i DID know her, it WASNT a fantasy, i got to know her, knew the real her for 2.7 years. its not like i just MET her and immediately projected my fantasy waifu all over her. (which i have done with other women.) when i first met That Woman I wasnt projecting ANYTHING on her. i didnt even really THINK about her that much.  i just said well she seems like a nice gurl with a hard life, she deserves a good man, but i just cant be that man. oh shes got a boifran? well hope hes a good guy and they get married. oh theyre having trouble? well i hope they figure it out. then i meet him. oh he is a good guy, just a little autistic and stubborn. they can still work this out if he wants to. he doesnt want to. he’s done. he’s gone now. now ive known her for almost 2 years. jeez maybe i DO want to be a Good Guy 4 U. and if shes just gonna give it away to negros, why not me? yeah thats a little ENTITLED sure, but i didnt really feel entitled to her Dating me, as much as i felt ENTITLED to her ending the Rel in a more Sensitive way hahahaha. i never called her a fooking bitch to her face like these nice guys do.

yeah i mean the nice guys are cringeworthy, but these WOMEN dont need to HATE them so much. I REALLY doubt any of these nice guys would be Monstrous Abusers. shit, they cant even get a woman TO abuse hahahahaha.

if anything, CHAD would be somewhat more likely to be an abuser, IMHO!!!!!

I mean at least half of Chads are Good Guys anyway. to coin a term in contrast to “nice guys.” so then what do we call ACTUALLY nice guys? i say we call them “good guys”. i mean shit i still call them “nice guys” but then bitches like this subreddit think im talking about the bad kind of nice guys.

but yeah if a guy starts throwing him at your feet and saying WALK ON ME! IM A DOORMAT!!! that doesnt mean you HAVE to do it! i would say, stand the hell up, i dont walk on anybody.