SHE COULD GET AWAY WITH NOT DEALING WITH IT

yep

sept 11

heh. not to insult the old friends of mine who are unfortuantely, sadly leftist, but……. i just remembered something that happened on our recent reunion that made me shake my head and told me that there was no hope in trying to Turn these people hehehehe.

basically it was simple, just talking about LB Johnson and how he was such a old school white racist who wanted segregation for blacks. it didnt matter that he was huge democrat and the great society and that he might have done more than any one president to turn our once great nation into a marxist progressive antiwhite disgrace. immigration, welfare, etc. they touched on this, but were like, YEAH BUT he was also a huge old school white racist from texas. he wasn’t a real modern democrat….even though he probably did more SJW shit than any modern democrat. all they saw was an evil white racist.

basically they should be worshipping this guy like he was the next MLK! but no, all they see is a white racist!

because he simply LOOKED LIKE a white normie from texas! just a masculine white man with a texas twang. never mind that his policies opened the door to giving BILLIONS to nonwhites!

really I should have said, YEAH BUT dont you think you’re underestimating the effect of the great society? i mean really, isnt LBJ the greatest person for Civil Rights since MLK? do you really think thats fair just to write him off as an evil white racist? he really wasnt old school at all!

i was just caught off guard by the ridiculousness of it, and also my communication skills were compromised by MJ!

and yet these are decent, moral white people parroting this nonsense!

they cant get past LBJ looking like a FOOKING WHITE MALE to realize the pretty obvious truth that he was a YUGE SJW and pretty much sentenced the white race to death hahahahaha. the fact that he has a twangy accent and wasnt a Marxist Community Organizer is enough for them!

and ultimately he went to do one of the single biggest Marxist Actions our country has ever seen!

doesnt matter, cuz he LOOKS like a traditional white family man. so somehow he was a “conservative democrat”. wtf???????

you could not have a more marxist prez if KARL MARX had been prez!!!!!!!!

why the hell would they signal against LBJ of all people?

because in their mind, he represents Traditional Old School White Racists.

EVEN THOUGH HE DIDNT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

in hindsight I should have probed on this absolutely ridiculous discussion, but again, MJ makes me unable to have even simple small talk.

oh and LBJ probably owned a GUN too. he was the type of guy to go HUNTING. and he probably didnt want his daughter to be a race mixing slut. what a racist sexist woman hating black hating bigot racist.

they cant look past these tiny details to see the YUGE OBVIOUS LASTING LEGACY of LBJ!!!!!!

Maybe i am OVERESTIMATING LBJ and the great society pogams in particular.

i mean im sure there were tons of marxist j’s advising him.

hmmmm i have found the new evalion hahahahahah

i bet this channel will be shut down by the time this post posts.

well after 1 minute of inspection she seems less slutty than evalion, but she does have crazy eyes!

not gonna get my hopes up too much here.

but I would wager that shes taken less cox than evalion and might be a better wife and mother.

gonna try to manage expectations tho.

i guess she already did an interview with sinead. i hope sinead does not latch onto her and turn her into even more of a psychopath.

i would feel a lot more comfortable if she (crusader gurl) were doing this with her father or something. what does her father think of all this?

it feeeeels really weird and wrong for very young gurls to get on the frontlines of a very real ideological war. just like with Combat, women SHOULDN’T be doing this. you can support your father or husband or brother who is doing it. make white babies with your white husband. maybe make videos about how awesome being a mother is. and cool it with the hitlers and the swastikas. they make you look like a shill hhahahahahaha.

men can do that, women cant. and even most men dont fathom what theyre getting into when they do that. i say, err on the side of caution and dont go full 1488 until you know exactly what youre getting into. like me hahahaha. and even i dont post hitlers and swastikas. it just looks fishy when a 17 year old gurl on the internet does.

girl on the internet syndrome. beware.

maybe do a show with your strong white boifran. or father.

i should really write to her and try to become her handler. i mean women can REACH alot more people than men. she can get 1000 subscribers in a day where it would take a guy a YEAR. people pay a lot more attention to young purty wimmin. so, tread carefully. she is gonna be under a TON of scrutiny, like evalion, and it didnt take long for evalion to be shut down and probably discredited.

and yes their secs lives ARE relevant, because you want a person with GOOD CHARACTER.

and really….yeah its nice to see women getting into this stuff, but I have NEVER heard something explained MORE profoundly or powerfully by a woman than by a man. NEVER. in other words, a man can ALWAYS say this stuff more persuasively. More Better, hahahahaha.

but the women get more initial views.

and im sure part of it is me being Lonely for a Woman that is Against Race Mixing.

here’s a fun game for you: test women you meet by getting them talking about idris elba or denzel washington. I reckon the MAJORITY of them will take the bait and say DAYUM WHAT A SEXY MAN. MMM HMMMM. I WOULD SUCK HIM OFF RIGHT NOW. I WOULD FOOK HIM ALL NIGHT AND LET HIM BEAT THE SHIT OUT OF ME.

this is a blatant signal that the woman is open to race mixing.

the ideal woman would get uncomfortable talking about secs, would not say anything publicly, then in private, would tell you shes just not into black guys.

just look for any remark where a white woman talks about a black guy being Handsome or Secsy.

if you’re against race-mixing, you JUST WOULDNT DO THAT.

I never talk about how nonwhite women are good looking! because I honestly dont care! I DONT WANT TO RACE MIX!!!!

well there are a couple jooish and maybe indian women i would bang. but they would probably stink like curry!

and also i have fully thought through the implications of having children with them, and that is something i would never want to do!

but yeah, its just not the DOMAIN of cute innocent doe eyed 16 year old gurls to be talking about this stuff!!!!!

KIND OF like how its not the domain of innocent little gurls to be huge cvm guzzling sluts!

well….i say kind of because those are two VERY different things.  i’m just trying to say that young gurls are JUST TOO INNOCENT for this kind of stuff. it’s TOO MUCH for them. it’s not RIGHT for them to be in it.

kind of like a woman forgoing being a wife and mother so she can be a damn CEO.

it’s just not her natural place. its weird and wrong.

so yeah i hope this gurl acts honorably because its SAD to see a qt innocent young white gurl be a DUMPSTER FIRE. just do what michelle k did and Resign. or do what the truth will live did and stop youtube but just do twitter only.

of course TTWL is 100% jooish. but uhhhh she was really qt and had great alt right ideas and was converting to Catholic. real interesting case.

but yeah its DISTRACTING unless you have your OWN alt right waifu. and probably most waifus could be MADE alt right with your firm, fair guidance.

this crusader gurl looks like a purer, more innocent, lower number gurl than evalion, and i dont want to see another young white girl turn into a dumpster fire for the whole internet to see.

dont look for a gurl with political opinions. find a gurl with basically no political opinions, but who has deep moral opinions about not being a slut, about not fooking blacks, about not murdering her babies. that’s all you need. and finding that will be difficult enough!

heh i am actually tempted to write this girl a message because she might actually read it now, rather than 2 weeks from now, when she has EXPLODED in popularity.

well, sinead has probably already told her how horrible TRS is.

basically TRS needs to take this girl under their wing and use her as a TRS propaganda person. TRS are good, strong, smart men. I trust them hehehe.

hehehe

https://www.reddit.com/r/talesfromtechsupport/

https://voat.co/v/talesfromtechsupport

also i saw some bitch saying that its normal for a 30 year old man to take only 6 months to get over a 2 year relship. yeah maybe if you are some sociopath who just views people as bags of meat, BITCH!

http://www.loveshack.org/forums/

loveshack has like 1700 people on it right now, relship forums has like 400 tops. go with loveshack. i am looking for something with a LOT of people.

http://www.loveshack.org/forums/transitioning/friends-lovers/

plus they have a great subforum that is all about That Gray Area where you might be becoming more than friends, or wanting to.

yep the big 400th job app.  next it will be the big 500th hahahaha.

http://archive.is/fdCUL

How to Choose a Wife in a Feminist Society by PA

good blogger, i should directly link to him, got a good alt right racist white mind. i just dont want anyone to know i link to them. go look at his blog and give him a dollar hahahaha.

twitter can be fun sometimes

oh yeah this one was florian geyer. well he doesnt really use it. and his NRx blog only has 2 posts. i was looking to try to find the origin story on this guy cuz i like him. he is great. he is very smart and very funny and will be a great priest but he should have some keeids tho.

here is a guy that is on the fatherland sometimes, seems like a real good guy, and he does a pro family podcast with his WIFE. should prob check that out at some point.

sept 12

welp, was very decisive about getting a haircut today, even though probably didnt really NEED it…..but previous i usually waited TOO long, and today i just wanted to be decisive and get a haircut fairly earlier than last time, PLUS whenever i get a haircut, it boosts confidence, so, really no risk, high reward. waited 66 days this time, 9 weeks or so. this isnt TOO early, I dont think.

had ridiculously disturbing dream with HER in it and it just gets worse. i was bitching at her like  a little bitch, please stop avoiding and ignoring me, just hang out with me already, don’t dump me LIKE THIS, and getting really bitchy and passive aggressive about it, then she was like FINE. FINE. what do you want from me. and then she got up on this ladder or lege or something about 14 feet off the ground and dove headfirst into the ground, grotesquely breaking her own head and neck. absolutely horrifying. that’s not what i was asking for!!!!!! i just wanted to sit down and have an hourlong private talk!!!!

there was an implication that some other guy was also heartbroken and HE had K’d himself the same way, diving headfirst into the ground.

also in another part of the dream, I was grotesquely deformed, like missing half my face, and also that side of my body was all grotestquely deformed. naturally people reacted to the sight of me with horror.  I couldn’t really see myself though, and I didn’t really FEEL horrific.

then I met a qt young woman who was nice to me, did not react with horror, and I wondered, wow, did I miraculously get better somehow? do I really look normal now? or is she just super nice?

so yeah, lot of symbolism there hahahahahahahaha.

and then it went into that super disturbing part with HER and the neck breaking etc. good god how does my brain come up with this horror.

so yeah i am surprised i was not MORE affected by the dream (nightmare!!!!!) but I guess forcing myself to get out and get haircut helped with that.

also in the dream she seemed like a different person. it sorta looked like her, but a more crazy, unstable, bitchy, evil version of her.

basically she did what she did because:

  1. she didnt have Special Feelings for me
  2. She could Get Away with Not Dealing with it.

PERIOD.

some things you are FORCED to deal with. you cant escape from them. this was not one of those things.

i bet she DID feel bad about hurting me. but she did not HAVE to deal with it….so she didn’t. The End. Period. Thats All Folks. That’s ALL it boils down to. I bet she DID feel bad. (Im sure she’s gotten over that LONG ago, though)

2pm sept 2

sheeeeeeeit. sitting at car dealership, they have free wifi thank god. look like a real phaggot wiht muh laptop but this is gonna take at LEAST 90 minutes.

hope nobody steals mh password who is out there packet sniffing hahahahahah.

321 pm

wow that was quick. they said 90 minutes, i expected 2 hours, and i was out of there within 1 hour.

there was a young arab girl reading a Yuge Law Skool Torts Textbook. Good for her going to Law Skool. She looked very bitchy and high maintenance but young and bangable and in Healthy BMI range. not that I advocate Race Mixing but I would bang her if i had to. would not make babies with, OBVIOUSLY!!!!!!

why am i saying this? i guess to get a pity party for my desperation, to describe my desparation, that i would rather bang a healthy young nonwhite than a fat ugly unhealthy white hahahahaha. but i would never BRAG about it or RECOMMEND it hahahahaha.

 

 

NO CONCEPT OF SPACE

for weds the 12th of april

sept 6 2016

At Taco Bell, we’re hungry for Mas. Mas Heart, Mas Flavor and Mas Value. If you want Mas in your life read on!
Think About it…

Do you know how to inspire and engage? Do you make others smile easily?

When you say thank you do you mean it?

Are you a foodie? Do you know what it takes to make awesome food?

Do you love your team like you love your family?

Do you know what it means to create a 5 star customer experience?

Do you take your work seriously but not yourself?

Are you a proud mama or papa when your team achieves success?
If no, your career aspiration with Taco Bell has died here.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

ultimately this is actually sad and horrifying but my initial reaction is indignant, contemptuous laugter. but THERE FOR THE GOD GO I. and I must pray that I never reach the point where I would write a job desc like that and wholeheartedly believe it.

got back from big 2-3 day social event, most social i have been in a very long time. still trying to process. kinda overwhelming really, but ultimately very good and glad i did it. good thing for me to do, glad to be invited. was just faced with my own insecurities and issues: somewhat with my own personal failures but what i wanted to explore was my complete failure to communicate and connect with people while I was under the influence of MJ.

yes there were a lot of MJ partakers up there, i kinda expected that, and i said i would partake a LITTLE bit, and indeed i did, for the first time after like a year of abstinence. got an interesting reaction there that pretty much confirmed that i should not do that in a social situation ever. because yeah it makes it absolutely impossible for me to follow or understand or contribute to any conversation, which is very frustrating and also bad for the confidence. other people do not seem to have this problem, but i sure do. so i was careful to just have one puff at a time with large space in between, often PASSING on the MJ as it went around!

and STILL a couple time i went a bit over the line where my mind was completely blown and blazed, and really all it takes is just ONE extra puff which will then totally overwhelm you 20 minutes later and you will feel like a retarded idiot child hhahahahahaha. not fun when trying to communicate with successful adults with good careers, wives, children, etc.

of course there was no judgement happening whatsoever, except by me!

oh man. LOT of stuff to cover. i mean the thoughts that were going on in muh head at the time.

like i want to examine the idea of SPACE and, well when I was blazed a few days ago, I thought DAMN I really didnt understand the concept of SPACE at all, I totally invaded her SPACE like a WEIRDO badman, god damn I was such an idiot who has no idea how to deal with women and rels, i have no concept of this stuff, its SOO BADDDDD, I am hopeless, I can’t believe I fooked it up SO BAD without even intending, to be SO incompetent and wrong, so yeah so STRONG self blaming there, she was RIGHT to react the way she did, she was RIGHT to throw me away, she was RIGHT to never respond to me.

or thoughts of ulterior motives, like yeah, this is just what happens. you might not HAVE ulterior motives but theres NO WAY you are gonna convince the woman of that! It’s simply impossible in that situation! so i need to get over my desire to want to have her understand I did not have ulterior motives. because she never will understand that. never ever. but yeah i dont like being remembered that way.

and when i was blazed, yeah the self blame and self recrimination was just horrible. stream of constant negative thoughts in a multitude of ways. many diff kinds of negativity hahahaha.  in other words I should never do MJ EVER!!!!!

thankfully i did not flip out and have a panic attack or anything, but im sure a few more puffs and i would have been much closer to that! I already felt like a total WEIRDO and outsider and just inferior in every way!

so why do I like this junk again??!!?!?!!!??!!?!??

because it makes MUSIC better and because its ok in “groups” of TWO or smaller hahahahaha.

ITS NOT WORF IT M8!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

cuz I GUARANTEE there would still be SOME kind of stream of negative thoughts. doubts and fears and blame and recriminations. even if I were alone or with 1 other person. I know from experience, its more than a guarantee, it has happened!

so, if i get more terrible neg thoughts in general when partaking, even in the best of “set and setting”….then why even do it at all?

I could literally, measurably, noticeably communicate and talk to other people better socially when not under the influence. i just had a damn controlled trial 2 days ago. i noticed a definite difference!

yeah it was overwhelming, but in no way did the anxiety when partaking the MJ ruin the overall event. overall, it was mind blowingly fantastic and positive, the most positive social event for a long time.

but when i got done i was more exhausted than I have been in a long time, even more my usual low energy self, but this time was even more extreme, and i slept for 16 straight hours. unbelievable. could not even be awake. and the sleep was pretty solid too. i really needed it hahahahaha.

so now I am trying to wake up from that, drinking some coffee, still feel a little bit “post MJ” and not sure if that is the MJ or just that my body and mind were exhausted and id been asleep for 16 hours hahaha. prob the latter.

so now i can start really processing everything and that of course is a big mission of this blog hahaha. me processing shit. with 10% of that maybe helping the reader hahahahahahahahahahahahaha.

anyway. yeah at some points i felt ASHAMED of my total failure to comprehend to her idea of SPACE, and just invading her space over and over and over and over again! no WONDER she reacted so intensely!

and while blazed, i couldnt think of the positive, rational response: yeah I did not have a great idea of space, BUT (AND) she could have REALLY just written me one email. or one text. given me ONE LITTLE THING.

One of the old friends I met who actually lives sort of near me now is a social worker woman who mentioned this great idea of replacing “BUTS” with “ANDS” because AND I guess gives more validation and acceptance and understanding to what your initial complaint is. does not disqualify any part of anything. and then the AND qualifies the good shit as well. I said to her, yes I have read a LITTLE bit about that, and I agree it is totally awesome and I agree completely. she also mentioned the idea of “dialectical behavior therapy” as kind of a counterpart to cognitive behavioral therapy, and I said I knew all about CBT but had never heard of DBT, and I am leary of the word “dialetic” hahaha but whatever you are describing sounds really interesting.

i guess it is a lot CBT but with more of a focus on talking and the dialectic you establish with yourself?? i said I would look it up and i intend to. maybe engages to cognitive component even more, for introverted weirdos like me who need to write 6,000,000 page blogs to constantly PROCESS everything. this might give you a more positive way to process everything.

so, in short, whenever you say BUT, replace it with AND instead. in 99% of cases it will still work AND it will be the healthier thing for you to tell yourself. as far as reaching your goals and shit.

she also mentioned some kind of best practices for goal setting. specific, measurable, realistic, that kind of stuff. i mean i already know all that but its nice to hear other people who are professionals in the area speak about it hahahahaha.

unfort most of the people were anti trump leftists and i was in no position to argue with anyone. i didn’t WANT to argue with them. they are all nice good people who I should look up to as role models 4 a good lyfe……but i just dont care for the leftism. but its not like these people are living their lives being total degenerates! hurting people and lying and cheating! they all want to do the right thing too!

but yeah there was definite examples of antiwhite cucking by white leftists. and not even in a im sorry to be white sort of way. but just enthusiastic, true believer, whites are the cancer of the human race sort of shit, totally shamelessly. but, interestingly, no real guilt about being white, but im sure if i pressed them, they might say something like yeah it sucks to be white and thats why I do everything I can to support the oppressed and be an ally etc. i cant help being white but i have lived my life fighting the man, so i am secure in myself.

i would almost prefer if they WERE ashamed about being white, because that might show me a chink in their armor hahahaha.

someone blatantly said “your mother is a communist” and i was like WOW that is pretty rude, but i didnt doubt the veracity, because I know the guys mother is a lifelong leftist activist type, father as well, and this is where he get it from. which makes sense. if my family were huge leftist activists, i would probably be too. like old school summer of 68 types that became fairly professional, rather than burned-out hippies.  but they are good people and raised good children. also there wasnt any race mixing hahaha. not that they wouldn’t blatantly approve of race mixing! they just never actually had mixed children, and I am secretly happy about that. nor did their kids, one of whom was/is one of my old friends i was looking forward to seeing. he will never change being a huge leftist, but he is still a very good admirable person. but he married a white wife and had a white child too………

its just WEIRD that such decent, good people could also be such damn leftists. so you CAN still be a good person and live a moral life if you are a leftist. its just weird to see though. what would be too far? maybe if any of them had had mixed race children. or were in positions of political power and doing blatantly antiwhite policies. but, somewhat surprisingly, no one is in political power. they have great careers and probably Manage Teams and have masters degrees from top skools and make 80 k a year. but i guess as long as a person is not a lying cheating scumbag, i am ok with them.

but this guys white communist mom has been married to his white communist dad for like 40 years, with no weird open marriage bullshit, and they have white children who married white women and had white children, with no weird open marriage bullshit as far as I can tell.

so yeah i pretty much hid my alt right and pro trump views because a. i wouldnt be able to convince anyone b. people might be like poor him, he’s confused because he’s having a rough spot in life, so he is clinging to this racist xenophobic sexist stuff out of fear and frustration. so i just avoided talking about it and made jokes about guns and even probably one genuinely nonjoking statement about how i would have no problem with owning a gun, which is actually a big deal for these people, most of whom come a town where everyone is a leftist who hates guns and whites and the only people who even Go Hunting are Racist Redneck Angry Uneducated Whites who are angry and afraid and republican and trump voting, fox news, etc. too hateful and ignorant to get their phds and get a professional career and get the political views to accompany those professional careers.

its like these people have NEVER MET A RIGHTIST!!!!!!!!! They literally think they are the worst people in the world! rightophobia!!!!!!!

well, i talk shit about the left all the time, i despise the left and 99% of leftists. these people are essentially GRANDFATHERED IN. but doesn’t it mean there are a lot more leftists who are decent people? yeah probably. lets say 50 50.

but yeah i dont really hate individual people, especially when i get to know them, even hardcore leftists. but i hate the left as a set of ideas that is really destroying the country hahahaha and the west. and the white race.

interesting enough, they can rant about trump and trump is like hitler, its so scary, and be like yeah of course i will always vote democrat, thats what smart people do, who are not evil white capitalist greedy stupid redneck religious gun toting haters! BUT no one had anything positive to say about hillary, and probably were not volunteering their time to campaign for hillary. well hillary is too establishment and not leftist ENOUGH they’d probably say.

but they dont volunteer for even worse leftist shit either.

so yeah these people will always remain grandfathered in for me i guess. and i guess i could probably “keep an open mind” if i were meeting new people. but i dont meet many new people.

but yeah i puffed the MJ and was like DAMNNNNN I REALLY REALLLLLLY was an idiot regarding the concept of space. She told me she wanted space and I couldnt RESPECT that!

well, she could have TOLD me a little better and clearer, and continued to communicate with me regarding it! like, oh by the way, this IS an ultimatum, and this is because i’ve been getting weird vibes from you that you like me, and also we shouldnt talk or text at all, but i’ll continue to talk and text you.

plus, what about: SPACE does not give you license to avoid the issue altogether. avoid and ignore. SPACE means we are gonna stop hanging out, and stop talking every day. but it doesn’t mean you continue to do that FOREVER unless you have a decent TALK about it.  if you want to parlay the SPACE into a Permanent End Of Rel, you have to TELL the person, especially when they make their interest clear to stay in the rel, by asking you every 2 weeks, when are we gonna hang out again, its been many months since we hung out, can we hang out this weekend finally?

heh. we also did a ritual which was partially intended to help me get over That Woman. This is me and this other guy I saw there who is one of my favorite people and who I was really looking forward to seeing, and if i lived in the same town as him, i would Want to hang out with him regularly, because he is a great, classic guy. he is also not as blatantly leftist as a lot of the people. and we are both hopeless romantics who have gotten heartbroken by women many times. but he has improved because of it and become a confident, charismatic, outgoing, charming man, and has Slayed plenty of Pvssy in the time since we were young.

he is very very good at organizing social events and being a Host type of guy, make you feel good about yourself, kind of guy. pull out all the stops and do special things for special occasions, just raise the bar and do awesome things. shower people with unexpected gifts, organizing fun party buses, putting on one man fireworks shows, just amazing the things he does, very glad to know him.

anyway everyone was going to bed early like responsible adults and i was kinda looking forward to staying up late the last night (2 nights) and watching some people get Annihilated (of course I did not drink, i have not had anything to drink since 2009). i thought he was gonna go to bed, but he surprised me by totally playing to my sensibilities. he bullshitted me that we were gonna do some seance type black magic ceremony that he knew, and i played along and honestly was not sure how much he was bullshitting, but he put together this plan to essentially burn a log in half on the fire. put a long log across the top of the fire pit, build fire underneath it, and then the goal is to keep that fire going long and strong enough to cause the top log to break and or crumble.

and then that was supposed to symbolise you getting over something, something you want to be over and done with, something holding you back. I said yeah I can make it about this woman if that’s what you’re getting at, hahahaha.

so i dont know if this is an actual thing or he just bullshitted the whole thing, but it made sense and seemed a very nice way to symbolically “break” someone or somethings hold on you. a symbolic ceremony to turn the page, move on. i said well you can use this too because you have a big move coming up and I want that to go well for you.

initially I thought the goal was to weaken the log and then one of us would break the log by stomping on it or something.

ultimately our goal became to just burn all the way through the log until it broke because of the fire.

so we had to add a RIDICULOUS amount of wood to the fire to accomplish this. and it took at LEAST  6 hours. essentially we ended up staying up ALL NIGHT till the SUN CAME UP and then finally the log split. there was no crumbling really, it was more like two little hands reaching out to each other.

but yeah the log just sits there taking all that heat, not showing any signs of anything, or it seems like it should have broken long ago but it doesnt. pretty much everything about this was symbolic as fook, he knew it, I knew it, he knew I knew it, I knew he knew it. So yeah it was a beautiful thing.

not sure if it actually worked regarding That Woman, I mean I have been slowly getting over her anyway so I dont feel I needed a CEREMONY, plus I said yeah she is technically a good person so lemme just say I am not trying to put any curses or hexes or Black Magic on her, so I covered my ass there hahahahaha. well, I kinda want her to have a bastard baby soon with some deadbeat black, but I guess I forgot about that.

but yeah it was nice that he was thinking of me and did this nice thing for me hhahahaha. very touching. great guy. great to see him after over 2 years. last time i saw him i was just a few months from falling in luv with the woman. i told him, yeah i have this female friend but i dont feel that way about her, it would be weird, i dunno.

i would ideally have some GOOD headphones then get very blazed and listen to this album hahahaha.

I am not as well versed in this album as I am with “transilvanian hunger”, an uncriticizable classic. UaFM I have some actual complaints about, like i skip some songs, guitar sound is too thin. but yeah this probably is culto’s best vocals. totally sick the whole album.

now darkthrone is about as consistent as neil young…..but everyone agrees this is one of the good albums. the classic albums. i would much rather listen to this album than the more derivative albums it inspired. basically just freezing cold, hateful, nihilistic, raw, pure, trve, kvlt black metal. no poseur or hipster or modern bullshit. not overly long. great year, 1993.

none of the women at this thing were really bad. even the worst one is not a bad person. i just wouldnt want to date her. but she is still very nice to me. and she is super duper successful and makes like 150k a year and gives Expert Opinions in Congressional Hearings. yes the big Federal US Congress in DC.

how many men had each of the women been with? how many abortions had each of the women had? how many nonwhites had each of the women been with? how many hearts had they each broken?

none of that really crossed my mind at the time, hahahaha. prob cuz i had NO interest in dating any of the women.

however, the married women, i was kinda judging their mate value. but they were wonderful people too. ideally the one woman would have been a little younger when her and my old friend got married, but they are still a good Pair and they have had a child. but im not sure another child will be coming quickly, and of course that was my ideal, that they have at least 3 children hahahahaha.

basically i care about the mudsharking and slutting and abortions etc a HELL of a lot more when i am considering Dating the woman. if I am just being friends or friendly, I dont really care. also if my freinds are MARRYING the women, i would HOPE they choose at least SOMEWHAT wisely and not pick a TOTAL piece of trash. And i don’t think they did. I just wouldnt want to marry these women myself hahahaha.

basically if i didnt know these people and the first and only thing i knew about them were their horrible political beliefs, i would say, these are probably terrible people. the worst kind of white antiwhite scum.

but in fact they are very very good decent people.

so what did i learn? that leftists can be good people? I already knew that, I mean nothing i’m saying here is NEW. I knew they were leftists when i first met them. and i thought i was a leftist. and i started moving right, righter, and far right hahaha. but they stayed leftist. but they also stayed decent people. i just think its interesting that they never woke up or got redpilled. even getting married and having kids did not redpill them. or working with obnoxious nonwhite customers. living in a multicultural diverse city. i can’t imagine anything that WOULD redpill them. they could get robbed by blacks and then say something like “we cant let this turn us racist. we cant forget that these blacks wouldn’t be put in such a desperate position without racist hateful greedy white men who created the systems of oppression that keeps blacks poor and desperate.” i really think they would say that. NOTHING is going to “redpill” them.

 

BEING TREATED LIKE ANYTHING BUT SH1T IS A LUXURY

google: blaming self for breakup

http://www.abandonment.net/articles/to-survive-a-breakup-12-ways-to-avoid-blaming-yourself

Or they blame the breakup on their neediness.  Now that that they are in abandonment grief, feelings of neediness become overwhelming.  The truth is that we all become needy during heartbreak.  We are needy at other times, too – neediness is part of being human – but it becomes pronounced when we are attempting a new relationship with someone we’re not sure of or when the person we are attached to is no longer fulfilling our basic need to be loved and secure.

When we feel unrequited love – a lack of emotional reciprocity from the other person – we naturally feel insecure. Even the most independent among us can exhibit reactive behaviors that are extreme and can make the other person run for cover.  ”

http://www.abandonment.net/profile-of-an-abandoner

abandonment dot net, awesome hahaha. all quotes copyright susan anderson, my new hero

” Many abandoners also attempt to BLAME you for the break up. It’s because you were too “needy” or “dependent” or “angry,” they might say. Meanwhile, if you have become “needy” or “dependent” or “angry” it is not because you ARE these things, but because you were REACTING to their gradually pulling away. None-the-less, you will beat yourself up for these things anyway. ”

https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/romance-redux/201205/why-you-blame-yourself-bad-relationships-and-how-stop

” But if the accident simply reflected the cold randomness of the universe, that meant something far worse: no planning or foresight could ever prevent bad things from happening to the people I cared about.  Even psychologists have trouble swallowing that pill. So I kicked myself instead. After all, that’s when we all turn to self-blame: at those very moments we can’t accept how helpless we are to control our fate. Beneath self-blame, there’s often a powerful wish for control. 

This is also the key to understanding Tina’s behavior. She really doesn’t believe Ken can change—nor do most people who blame themselves for a bad relationship. If we’re not the problem, then our partner’s surly moods or disinterest can only be altered through their efforts. And the less faith we have—as Tina seemed to—that they can ever make those changes, the more we risk finding fault with ourselves. If our hope for a happy relationship lies in our partners’ hands, and they’re not up to the task, then the situation truly is hopeless. And hopelessness is a far worse pain than self-doubt.

[ufmll: well, this guys got a lot of good points, well memed mah boy. BUT i would offer that sometimes hopeless can be more comforting than self doubt. in the sense of “welp, i accept that the situation is out of my hands, and nothign i could have done could have helped it. it was dead on arrival.” rather than eternally blaming yourself and saying what if. i think over the long term, that would drive you more crazy than hopelessness.]

Tina, for example, focused most of her efforts on changing herself. But for all her frantic attempts to be a better partner, she remained afraid or unwilling to ask more of Ken, terrified that he either didn’t care to—or even worse, couldn’t— change for her. She hid that fear, even from herself, beneath layers of self-blame.

If you’re a self-blamer, like Tina, the way out, of course, is to start considering what other people can do to help you feel better. And you can only do that if you accept that your partner not only can, but should change their hurtful behaviors—not because you’ve tried to do something different (again), but because they care enough about how you feel to do something different themselves (renowned marriage researcher, John Gottman (link is external), calls this “openness to influence (link is external)”).

In other words, the onslaught of self-blame only stops once you realize that your own feelings of disappointment are legitimate enough to be heard. It’s when you finally tell someone you feel hurt or upset by their behavior—and exactly what they can do to help you feel better—that you truly learn whether or not they care enough to change what’s hurting you. And if they don’t care about that, you need to know as soon as possible. Or you could end up stuck in an unhappy relationship, blaming yourself for feeling bad. And that would depress anyone.

copyright/credit  craig malkin or psych today

http://www.7cupsoftea.com/qa-breakups-21/why-do-i-always-blame-myself-for-the-breakup-3311/

http://www.7cupsoftea.com/qa-breakups-21/what-is-the-best-way-to-break-up-with-someone-in-a-healthy-way-396/

http://www.7cupsoftea.com/qa-breakups-21/how-do-you-deal-with-the-temptation-to-contact-your-ex-531/

this 7 cups of tea site is pretty neat. it is about connecting people with Listeners when they jsut need an Objective Person to Listen and not give judgements or advice. i think its a great idea. although i think a little advice is not bad hahahahaha obviously. i like to give Baby Steps advice, like walk 100 miles a day hahahaha. and get a masters of electrical engin degree, and get a nice cute chaste 18 year old gurlfran, and lift 9000000 pound weights.

http://theadventurouswriter.com/quipstipsrelationships/how-to-stop-blaming-yourself-for-the-break-up/

yeah buddy.

see i KNOW i did shit wrong, namely, i commuincated poorly and pushed her, even if for “good” reasons/intentions (wanting to communicate abotu problems, talk things out), but was this the be all end all?  isnt the more important reason was she simply didnt have feelings, she wanted to keep things the way they were, i wanted to change them?

i dunno. yeah i pushed her, but yeah she could have treated me at least a little better and spared me a little pain hahahaha.

ok did a 4 miler, took a nice shower, turned out i had not taken a shower in 5 days, that is horrible hahaha.

i thought well my crime was being pushy. her crime is throwing a person away. which is worse.

well she only threw me away because I pushed her.

but is that REALLY an appropriate, proportional response?

my thing was like a 1 on  the badness scale, she was an 11.

i am always thinking of things in terms of Payoffs. so the payoff of me pushing her, for her, was like -1 to her, her throwing me away like garbage was a -10000000 for me!

listened to some of the golden one whilst walking. he seems like a good guy. its funny his derpression video advises getting goals and also getting a gurlfran will give you motivation an energy. i had to laugh because he talked about it like it was so easy. study shit on the internet, learn how to talk and dress and use game on gurls, then you can get a gurl. he admits to liking cuddling. he has kind of a traditional view of “fair maidens” which i like, and discourages degeneracy, so i assume he would not approve of sluts and casual sex and open rels. but i would like to see him do a video on that!

he is all about being “glorious” and being the best you can be, pushing your body to become a golden god, and also reading and learning.

anyway i would say a high number casual sex slut is not worth being a fair maiden!

but this guy could tear me in half like a phone book hahahaha.

i think he would agree, as i say, he is anti-degeneracy and pro-family and probably pro-traditional relationships. which is the way to be. in fact these views are expanding his audience from what he probably originally intended, ie a strictly Weight Lifting audience.

yeah cuddling with that New Dream Gurl WOULD help getting over The Woman 2015. i guarantee it. the NDG might even be worth getting feelings over! i mean i would def like her to sit on muh face hahaha and muh dick and just bang her HARD.

of course same deal with The Woman. i mean this is what brings men and women together!

what did i learn?

to say the words “WE NEED TO TALK” or “I WOULD LIKE TO TALK” and NOT “can we please hang out”. it is my responsibility to say “i want to talk” if talkings what i really want to do.

well so there was an issue i wanted to talk about and i pushed her to talk.

if there were an issue she wanted to talk about, maybe she would have pushed me to talk.

but the issue affected us both! well it affected me more. she was able to ignore it much easier because…….she was not in luv with me…….therefore she would not want to Date me hahahaha.

i do like Affirmations, I am this and I am that. so they should be specific and detailed, but not too long, and should not use negative words like not or no, even if you WANT to NOT do something. also you should say I AM and NOT I WILL or I CAN or something that is in the future. stay on the present.

I DO have SOME social skills. i am not a complete autist. friendless autist r9k robot. i have friends, i have a weekly social event, in the past i have even been friends with WOMEN. if i were a TOTAL hopeless lost cause, i would have never had a female friend ever. and i have had SEVERAL female friends, where we would hang out and talk.

The Golden One says it can be difficult for men and women to be Just Friends if they are hanging out in a one on one setting. as part of a Group, or on the Job, its totally doable though. but he makes the good point that the One On One setting implies a certain degree of intimacy. and i would 100000000% agree.

and me and the woman would hang out one on one. but wasnt it kind of weird that her boifran didnt object? she had said once that he never got jealous. cuz i thought, if i were him, i would not be perfectly fine with her hanging out one on one with other guys and making new guy friends. cuz i am them jealous type hahahaha.

but i think its good jealousy not bad jealousy to get jealous of your long term gurlfran hanging out one on one with their Kewl New Guy Friends.

she maybe did that to MAKE him jealous, cuz i think she WANTED him to get at least a little jealous, to show that he luved her hahahaha. i mean i can totally understand this. shit i am a jealous guy i think my best match/fit would be a somewhat jealous gurl.

because yeah for us Jealous Types, you CHOOSE not to hang out One On One with other men/women as a show of respect and commitment, and you dont WANT to keep your options open because you are happy with what you have. and you dont WANT to have one foot out the door. you WANT to be monogamous, you CHOOSE monogamy with this one person you luv.

how is that so weird and hard to understand?

but yeah point is, isnt her hanging out with ME, when she had a boifran, disrespectful to her boifran, and a WARNING SIGN that she might be a cheater?

well, this one can go both ways, and i dont think she was trying to CHEAT, and she WANTED to make him jealous, as a way of making him luv her more, cuz he was pulling away from her. so it wasnt about showing him disrespect, if anything, she was desperate to make him get closer to her.

like i was desperate to have her stop pulling away from me. so i pushed her to hang out (so we could taaaaaaaaaaalk) which pushed her away further.

but yeah bitches would think i was being unfair and jealous and controlling if i didnt like them hanging out one on one with other dudes. so of course that made them all the more willing to hang out one on one with other dudes, and dump me!

but honestly really the only good healthy positive thing i CAN do is Powerwalk like a bastard, do it 8 to 10 miles a day. like to get it even higher because its GOOD to push yourself physically, plus what im doing now is not helping me lose weight fast enough. i mean shit 1 pound a week would be GREAT. but this .1 or .2 pounds per week? just doesnt seem enough! and i would luv to lose 15-20 pounds!

what has helped my poker game noticeably is PREFLOP RAISING. before i would always limp, meaning i would never raise preflop. this is i guess a really passive way of playing, when i viewed it as simply being cautious and conservative and “tight.” well little did i know about the Tight And Loose vs Aggressive and Passive matrix!

tight and loose has to do with how many hands you play. i will always be kind of tight and thats not bad.

but now i am trying to be a more aggressive in my BETS. meaning, raise preflop if you have a good hand that you as a Tight Player would play! Raise, dont call or check, and this makes it easier to build decent sized pots.

hehehe

oh yeah the golden god also says……ummm he said it was ok for manlets to get Jacked and Juiced and Ripped becuase its all about improving yourself regardless if you were 6 2 like he is, or 5 4 like us manlets hahahahaha.

and he is all about being natural, no steroids and shit like that. i appreciate that hahaha.

but he said…shit cant remember but it was decent advice for anyone. pretty common sense of course.

in many advice articles on “how to break up with somebody” i have seen the common themes of:

treat them with respect

say that it was a good relationship and that the rel itself was meaningful

its ok for them to be upset

but still be nice to them.

listen to them

but be firm, direct, and not on the fence.

because you have given this a good deal of thought right?

do it in person and not email or text.

expect a decent length talk.

expect it to be uncomfortable and awkward, you’re breaking someones heart after all. but its the right thing to have this in person talk, rather than leave them hanging.

anyway yeah its funny, regarding some items near the top of that list, i totally did NOT feel treated with Human Respect, and i did not feel the relationship was given proper respect. so this must be a universal human thing. that when you get dumped, you feel thrown away like garbage, and you feel like the rel meant nothing to that person, so its the responsibility of the dumper to address those specific points. yep i agree it would have helped!

but closure is a luxury. respect is a luxury. being treated like anything but garbage shit is a LUXURY hahahaha.

just waiting for Dinner to Digest before going for another 4 miler hahaha.

oh yeah. if a full dose of nyquil makes you dead the next day, 20 hours to get fully out of your system………..

then take a half dose of nyquil. and hopefully you will be good in 10 hours hahahaha.

but i….ok a 60% dose of nyquil will last 12 hours then.

3.4 miles later

ok i took about a 60% dose; and then went out for a 4 miler. but then it got dark. and i cant powerwalk when its dark hahaaha.

ok what The Golden One said i was trying to remember, was basically using the term “BETA LEFTIST.” leftists are beta, betas are leftist. i think its great how he just comes out and says it. makes the not too difficult connection. but he really drives the connection home by using the term BETA LEFTIST regularly. a good one is the “beta leftist journalist” oh god who doesnt hate them hahaha.

in his no porn

video, he says, next time you want to jerk off to degenerate porn, imagine a beta leftist journalist is watching over you saying “GOOD GOOD” hahahaha. he believes porn is degenerate and beta and pathetic and you should earn the the luxury of getting with a woman and this is not something that should be a spectator sport, and it will take away your Natural Masculine Energy.

i would add to that that it makes a mockery of the natural, healthy male female relationship. degrades it, defiles it, blasphemes it, perverts it.

ok the other more important thing he says, is to ask yourself, “is this WORTHY of me?” while taking a fairly Cocky, Superior view of yourself, even if you have to force it at first. of COURSE disgusting degenerate beta leftist porn is not worthy of a man who aspires to be something greater, and to RISE ABOVE the degeneracy and the filth and the scum and the whores hahahahaha.

MAKE UP FUNNY STORIES FROM YOUR LIFE

june 11

anyway girl8 is not really the main story, it’s just perhaps worth mentioning first to get out of the way. the much more imporatnt thing here was reconnecting successfully with an old frand i had not seen in….7 years.

i had sworn to make amends with him and with the guy we were going to see, the guy getting married. i didn’t get to really have a one on one with THAT guy but i still apologized to him, as well as to the other guy. deeply profoundly apologized to both guys, so that is good, feel good about that man.

i also did not have any tension with the leftists. of course i was not looking to provoke any tension either. but it was interesting hearing the leftists talk about their leftist beleifs.

it was weird, their beliefs are way out there, but they are still very decent admirable respectable people. i got along well with a radical leftist activist, all the anti-gun people, the anti-white people, anti-men, etc.

people talking about how jealousy is an immature bad emotion, having open rels, raep jokes are not funny, etc hehehe.

well, i think these guys would agree with me at least that rejection SUCKS and it hurts and that you have a right to be upset when you are rejected. i guess they just get over it and move on with their lives much quicker and easier than i do.

that and i like to laff at raep jokes, and i think open rels are kinda immature and bs and that at least 80% of them don’t work out, and that jealousy is a perfectly natural and normal response to rejection and butthurt. just don’t stalk, raep, hurt, or terrorize a broad. but you’re more than entitled to get jealous/angry when you get rejected.

got some good ideas about jobs, like people that make decent money tutoring english on skype, or being a chess coach, and not even any masters degrees.

even had great discussions with a new guy i just met there, who was real phd material, and going to start a masters program. i told him he was phd material and should really think about going that way. he caught my ear with philosophical jargon, so i spouted some jargon of my own, names of “thinkers”, and he got a huge kick out of it, and i was happy to oblige, however the diff bw me and him was that he really LOVED this stuff and grad skool for it is an obvious choice for him…..while i just like the jargon (philosophy/postmodernism/critical theory) because it makes you sound real smart. but i do NOT want to make it my career becuase it is kind of infuriating and not very rewarding or fun to read, IMHO. but this guy absolutely loves it, so i encouraged him to think about a phd. he also had great social skills and was great at talking to strangers. he was in great physical shape and had banged grils and traveled the world, and was able to drink and do other things responsibly. i mean some of these guys partied like bosses and i was happy to see that. CONSTANT beer drinking and at one point guys were in a ritual circle passing around a bowl of a ridiculous drink made of bacardi 151, vodka, and monster energy. that was a great drink invented by one of the leftists, and i was very impressed.

so yeah of course i did not drink. smoked a little bit of wiid where my MO was just to take one puff at a time and not get all paranoid and anxiety attack. whereas the other guys could take manny puffs and still not freak out.

also smoked a SH!TLOAD of cigarettes, like over 10 cigs a day, with a few days prob closer to 15 or 20, some chain smoking even. just sitting outside with the guys drinking tons of drinks and smoking w33d. i was just drinking water and chain smoking cigarets and taking the occasional puff of wiid.

i was proud about restraining myself on the wiid, and indeed i never really freaked out,and was able to continue conversation after puffing it.

something i noticed was that all these guys had lots of funny and interesting STORIES about their fun and interesting lives, and they would tell the stories and by the end everyone was laughing and cracking up. people were just full of stories. finally the guy asked me if i had any good stories, and i really DON’T!!!!  the closest thing was my DUI story, so I just told that in the funniest way I could, and did a pretty good job and got everybody laughing and that was a good confidence booster. we also played a game where we had to write funny responses and i wrote a few that everybody laughed and liked and commended me on my awesome sense of humor and being hilarious, which indeed is very imporatnt to me, and i appreciated that greatly.

but they had stories about girls and i didn’t have anything funny to share there. unless being a kissless virgin for like 10 yeasr is funny, hahaha. or mah frand having a full blown Rel with a gurl I pined for over a huge distance of time and space. or me wasting at least 3 years of my life if not 4, being in luv with a girl I hung out with onyl a few times and never even made out with (girl7).  hehehe.

so i would encourage you to do evertyhting you can to have at least one funny STORY you can tell. these STORIES from your life are key. they don’t have to be 100% truthful, i’m sure there was some  embellishment and exaggeration for comedic effect going on.

of course drunk driving is not technically funny, but i can vouch that you CAN spin it into a very funny story. If I can do it, so can you. so use that for your one funny story. if you’re a desperate lazy loser kissless virgin, then of COURSE you have a Drinking Problem, then of COURSE you have gotten a DUI. just par for the course.

so, i didn’t have even one funny or interseting story, so i took the closest contender, and spun it. go and do likewise, gents. if i can do it, you can definitely do it too.

MOIST, MOISTER, MOISTEST

may 26

remember how to deal with bullies?

say “f00k you, f4gg0t”, then when they come at you, be prepared to physically martial arts them down to the ground, then use a sleeper hold on them, not beating them up, but disabling them.

you can modify that to something like “go f00k yourself, cvnt”.

i might say to blatantly display the sidearm you are Openly Carrying to dissuade people from physically attacking you, but I don’t want you to get railroaded in court, get a gun felony, and then be prevented from ever carrying ever again.

i am staunchly pro-gun and believe more (legal) guns in the hands of responsible decent adults will lead to a decrease in gun violence, usually carried out by maniacs and criminals using illegal guns.

if a wimmin refuses to take your last name in marriage, she’s basically saying “i AM going to divorce you in under 10 years, take over half your wealth, use your kids against you, etc, and I want to be celebrated by you for it.”

so don’t marry her, hehehe.

again, to pick up cute young gurls, try going to a RAVE or an Electronic Music Festival / COncert / Dance Party. the gurls will all be on ecstasy and looking to Party. Take advantage of the situation. Not the gurl, hahahahahaha.

how 2 get action from gurls:

if needed, take benzos to make you not nervous when approaching gurls.

say Sup Gurl, Ima Buy You a Drank. then buy them a drink and dance with them. then say sup gurl, imma take you out to dinner.

then take her out to dinner and pay for it, and if she doesn’t at least bl0w you, MOVE ON to another gril.

and maybe she will even call you up later and beg to be banged. that is acceptable too.

THE END.

simple right?

heh. i am no more misogynist than daniel tosh, who btw leftist progressive professionals think is so offensive and ignorant and the worst thing since nickelback and walmart and country music. daniel tosh is right up there for his women-hating and fat-shaming and being a big homophobic racist sexist bully. i think he’s pretty funny tho. not as funny as he thinks he is, and certainly too much of a DEGENERATE, like with his vomiting and bestiality vidyas, but at least he doesn’t apologize.

well its finally warm enough to open the windows and the neighborhood seems noisier than in years past. in particular some little kids who scream all day and dogs who bark all day.

it is at least 3 little kids under the age of 3 who just go outside and scream scream scream scream scream.

but i am not complaining, the nice weather is way better than the horrible winter!

i have got to get a career in a warmer place. texas, florida, arizona, i wouldn’t mind super hot.

why does godzilla have balls in front of his open mouth.

for example, as i sit here now, there are 3 little girls screaming all at the same time. they are about 100 feet away but they sound like they’re no more than 20 feet away!

if i were their father I would tell them to stop screaming or else…..

NOW, I used to be staunchly pro-spanking, then someone I respected said that spanking was not the ideal punishment. now i got spanked a couple of times and it never bothered me. and it’s not like you are savagely abusing your child or give them 50 lashes, I would just give them like 3 light spanks to get them to shut the hell up or stop acting like a brat and to show them who’s boss.

the expert i respect is not some left wing pvssy marxist who wants to raise empowered genderless antiracist kids, he is a rightist.

how do you discipline your kids without spanking?

well easy, i guess you just make them sit inside, away from their screaming friends, and give them a true “time out” meaning NO toys, no phones or vidya games or candy or snacks or anything.

or make them do some chores. some WORK around the house.

damn. you think the people that live even CLOSER to these screaming kids would tell their parents to control their damn kids.

#YesAllWomen Shows That Misogyny Is Everyone’s Problem

http://jezebel.com/yesallwomen-trend-is-uprooting-everyday-misogyny-one-t-1581432502

so there is this #YesAllWomen hashtag that started in response to elliott rodger killing those women and men, to point out how common “everyday misogyny” is and how we live in a patriarchal raep culture and the misogyny average guys have is the same as rodger had, just a diff in degree not in kind, bla bla bla.

Not All Men: A Brief History of Every Dude’s Favorite Argument

proof that time magazine is leftist as f00k. good job.

holy f00k. i wasted like 45 minutes reading a bunch of feminist anti-man bullcrap. to think they want you to become a feminist to be a “decent person”! hehe and that men are not entitled to sex just for believing that women do nto deserve to be raeped, hehehehe.

heh. i didn’t even know “not all men” was a “thing,” but I do remember “not all women” from several years ago. as in, not all women are like that, is what a woman-loving mangina says when he wants to point out that not all women are evil succubus wh0res!

heh. because it doesn’t matter that you’re not personally a raepist, it matters that we live in a raep culture. stop trying to make everything about YOU and what YOU are or aren’t! It doesn’t matter!

heh. this is what College turns normal women into. communist freaks, and horrible potential mothers.

hard to believe so many people read stuff like this on a daily basis and agree with it. yikes. glad that’s not me! or hopefully you!

 

 

UPPER WORKING CLASS FAMILY ORIENTED RIGHT WING NATIONALIST ANARCHIST ANTICOMMUNIST COLLECTIVE

apr 25. kind of a political post. ignore if desired.

for example, every “communal living” arrangement I’ve ever known has STRONG Socialist leanings. Like there is one Community House in muh city that prob offers Affordable Rent, but….. it is strongly socialist and leftist and filled with crusty punks and artists and communists and marxists and vegans and feminists and LEFTISTS in other words, and I don’t want that.

but maybe i should go live there anyway and exploit the sense of community to get myself a Better Job, because, if those marxists are gainfully employed, then they’re still bigger winners than my antimarxist right wing 4ss.

plus i could bang the leftist grills edgy young female friends. i might have to go over to the other side!

heh. i looked at the website of the Housing Collective and yeah it’s DEF left wing. see, I try to think of “anarchism” as actually RIGHT wing. i think it could be done. maybe that is my mission in life. start a right wing anarchist collective.

other countries besides poland, hungary, czech, slovak i wouldnt mind moving to: baltic nations of latvia, lith, and estonia.  and austria. These are all Westernish-Eastern Euro countries, non-Balkan (i am leery of the balkans), and most of them were communist until 1990 and now are healthy young noncommunist countries. not sure about austria, that may have always been noncommunist. which is fine! because I hate communism. but what i like about austria is that it seems more traditional than germany, which is just getting weirder and weirder.

are leftists better at Grassroots Action, Activism, Organizing, forming Communities, mating with each other, and raising Leftist Babies than are Rightists?

probably. When I was young, it was always leftists doing all that “SEXY” Activism, never rightists. And it was because of that SEXY SEDUCTIVENESS that my young mind was swayed towards the left. but there is NO reason the Right cannot do this either, with The Young!

Although I would choose something less decadent and degenerate than “SEXY”, but it would certainly still have a strong Cool Factor.

But our Young Cool Rightists would definitely SEX each other and have rightist babies.

I can think of only one promising right wing movement, which i will not name the name or place, just say that the limited media exposure they’ve had smears and libels them as Racist Rednecks. Not Surprising. But I would def be interested in joining. [in the US i mean. actually there are prob at least two or more. and in europe there is some good nationalist parties. thinking about a country that rhymes with fleece.]

plus rightists are naturally more individual minded. it is TRUE that Individualism is More Rightist and Collectivism is more Leftist. So where do I get off trying to be a Rightist Collectivist?????!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

You might not agree, but I think it could be done, and that could easily go on the short list of possible Life Missions for me.

How About U?

i have admitted to being A Little Racist. Would I allow people not of my race into my right-wing, nationalist, anarchist, anticommunist community?  probably i WOULD, because of course I would have final say whether or not a person gets in. Why? because I own the building?

but buying a f00king building involves More Debt than buying a straight up HOME Son. So the BANK owns the building. so i have no authority. so i have to make it moar democratic.

and of course “Democracy” is a thorny issue because so many Average People are Stupid Degenerates who don’t deserve to have a voice.

but I think in a small, carefully crafted community, it would work!

so yeah there would be a thorough vetting process, although prob not stressful, more like simply getting to know the person through many rounds of Deep Talks. it would not be fast probably.

but say someone wants to start a clique or a faction. then the place is probably too big.

or what about limiting it just to Your Family. Your Brothers and Sisters and Parents and Aunts and Uncles and Cousins. I DO like that. Because what is more Natural And Good than FAMILY?

Not to give too much away, but I actually hung out in a Communal House briefly. not a super anarchist crust leftist place i mentioned early, but much more of a middle class leftist place. i certainly no longer agree with those politics whatsoever, but I remain interested in Communal Housing. Very interested.

Upper Working Class Family-Oriented Right Wing Anarchist Anticommunist Collective. hehe.

would I let people smoke weed? would I let people Not Contribute To The Larger Society? I would say that as long as they Paid Rent, then there would be no mandatory group activities. And maybe if someone was on hard times, they could have reduced rent, but then they’d have to do a lot of housework, and other house members would help them find a job.

Maybe there would be different Living Spaces for diff age groups. Like the adults and families could live over here, the youngins looking for mates could live over here, but…..while it’s good to be surrounded by lots of young girls in the prime of youth, you can SEE how that would present a pandoras box of problems in the Communal Living setting. so, undecided.

in fact, probably NO, because all it takes is ONE person to reject another (usually a girl rejecting a guy) to screw up the ENTIRE group. because then he has to live seeing her every day, AND see the other guys she’s slutting it up with, and that ruins the whole damn thing. so infact, maybe it SHOULD be strictly FAMILIES.

heh. still waiting for the phone call about dat jerb. i will call him at 2:30. F00k. I want to take a powerwalk but I would not want him to call while I am on the powerwalk, because i can’t sound as good on the phone there. plus i don’t have my notes, plus wind blowing in your ear makes it real hard to hear people.

YOUR BEST IS WORSE THAN THEIR WORST

march 28

well my new gambling strategy is to bet by .20 chips (big blind is .10)  rather than bet half the pot, especially if betting half the pot is liable to scare people away, and i would like to make SOME money off a decent hand and a decent flop, make like .10 an hour after paying the blinds, hehehehe.

that is another bad feel, that your best is never good enough, that your best is worse than their WORST, that your best is worse than Bare Minimum For Surviving In Life. Of course your Best is compromised by your no energy and your unwillingness to try and work hard, and by half-4ssing everything, hehehehe.

getting a Young QT to have S with you as positive reinforcement every time you Try to Work Hard WOULD be an IDEAL motivator, but obviously hard to Win/Earn that Motivator, being a Fat Old Lazy Loser Omega Male! Well no sh1t, a young QT having S with you would SOLVE EVERYTHING!!!! hehehehe.

Gregorian chant is very calming and relaxing, even moreso than Classical Music. Any kind of unaccompanied church chant. I am also looking to get into Russian Orthodox Church Chants. Similar but the language is “old church slavonic” or russian, not latin, and I like to think it is “darker” somehow. heh.

i am in a real r9k/v9k sort of feel, but I REFUSE to look at those websites. instead I will listen to Chantz, play Two Tables of Poker, try to make some money this hour. I have started to identify Frequent Mistakes that are losing me money. I can beat these f4gg0ts, hehehehe.

gun control gun control more guns more guns dem gummint and socialists and muzzies and obummer cant pry mah gunz outta mah cold dead hands hehehehe. no I love guns and fully support the second amendment and think gun control types are the stupidest weakest lamest f4gg0ts who can take their f4gg0ts phds and shove them up their middle class f4g 4sses. f00k middle class leftist f4gg0ts who hate gunz. although not all middle class are leftists, there are plenty of middle class rightists as well. and those successful f4gg0ts can s my d and gimme a J, hahahahaha.

like the crazy autists who shoot up skools are getting their guns through legal means, or not carefully preselecting gun free zones to do their shootings.

and maybe they just wanted to pwn some f4gg0tz, hahahahahaha. oh they pwnt them allright!

the entire purpose of Education Itself should be like Boot Camp preparing you for the War of Work. F00k theory and book learning. Moar INterviews and INternships and stuff like that should be built in, day to day work and communicating with f4gg0ts. stuff you will actually be doing On The Job.

And even if you get a C GPA in a Useful STEM degree, that should be enough to get you a job. or how about, the skool doesn’t even LET you graduate UNTIL you find a Job! Homeschool Univ Of UFMLL would do that.

should you marry and have children with a woman you get along with, but are not S’ually Attracted to at all? Maybe, if you get along REALLY WELL, she shares your rightist homeschool values, AND she lets you bang young cuties on the side. just make sure she knows that.

so then should she be allowed to bang big strapping alpha men on the side? no. men and women are very different.

Get another wife to keep the first wife in line. Amazing the trouble you have to go thru to have a mother for your children. but that is the ultimate benefit, and the main reason to dealing with women.

but isn’t it better to be a single dad and have No Mother to your children, than a Bad Mother of your Children. Yes, Absolutely! But Ideally you would have a Good MOther Of your Children.

So if a woman starts out good, but goes bad, kick her the f out!! easy solution.

media keeps saying that physical therapy is a great career that you only need an associates degree for, however i’ve seen rumblings from the associates degree people that you really need a bachelors degree or higher. and of course doctorate would be ideal. i will never understand people who get doctorates. which is unfortunate, i wish i COULD get a doctorate, then I would have a lot easier time getting a decent job, and indeed I’ve had lots of contact with The Middle Class, and people who ARE getting/gotten doctorates, which made me think it was The Ideal Way for me to go to, but I hate f00king college and skool and reading and papers and tuition and etc. just not worth the cost.

what, getting a Good Job is not worth the cost? that should be worth ANY cost!

then I bring up my excuse of, well, I’m obviously just not a College MInded person: I hate studying, I hate the concept of college, I hate college, etc, so obviously MOAR COLLEGE is the obvious wrong idea for a COLLEGE HATER like me.

So do I find a way to Quash Muh Irrational Phobia Of College…….or do I find another way?

I have wasted like 10 years trying to find another way!

but I have been half-4ssing on that. I also took some college in that time, but that was half-4ssed as well. I half-4ss EVERYTHING EVER, THAT is the main problem. so how to fix THAT?

By not half-assing stuff any more! Pick a thing and complete it without half-assing!