14 WORDS, 14 DOLLARS AN HOUR

aug 25

ok when i get muh 15 emails every morning with job stuff, i should SET THE TIMER and go through those in 30 minute chunks and then basically log and keep track of that time. because it does take valuable time is money. and i should measure that timemoney for muh job search metrics hahahaha. spreadsheetz.

so, start the timer, go in 30 maybe 40 minute increments, and keep track of that time! dont just look at the list of emails and groan and go through them without keeping track of your VALUABLE 14 DOLLAR AN HOUR TIME! USE THE CASH CLOCK!!!!!

http://www.online-stopwatch.com/cash-clock/

SET IT TO 14 DOLLARS AN HOUR!!!!!

14 WORDS, 14 DOLLARS AN HOUR!!!!!

heh. note to self and others: if you think you can make “bulletproof coffee” with cold or cool coffee, think again hahahaha. i thought i could somehow “whip” muh spreadable butter into the coffee if i stirred it vigorously enough. now there are just many disgusting little blobs of butter in the coffee hahahaha.

maybe a blender would work better?

dsw shoe place sucked, my next place is jcpenney. jcp does not have Crocs tho hahahaha. they do have nike and adidas and new balance running shoes tho.

ok the cool coffee with blobs of butter was so gross that i had to microwave it hehehehe.

i used to go to kohls as muh main one stop department store but i might become a jcpenneys man hahahaha. i have been dissatisfied with kohls for a few years. plus mr kohl himself is a LITERAL JOO. plus their sonoma store brand, the pants never fit well, even though just looking at them they look good.

what about MACYS. what about BURLINGTON hahahaha. i dont really luv shopping but i dont really luv looking like a neet virgin either!

but since i am always losing or gaining weight, all my clothes are either too big or too small.

yeah that gris 2007 album IEUF is more up my alley than their 2013 album. production wise at least. it is more black metal. im not crapping on the 2012 album, i just want soething more black metally right now.

singer sounds really good still, guitars are more black metally, drums sound good. 2013 album, no real problem with, but I am SUCH an AUTISTE about production that if the production isnt PERFECT, I cant even listen to it. so the 2007 album is more perfect sounding to my autist ears than the 2013 album. which isnt bad and could certainly be a grower. i cant crap on gris, they have an obviously great style.

yesterday i thought that infamous blackgaze phaggot NEIGE sort of looks like That Woman. ok i just watched a video of him and….not really. he does have really nice long hair like she did though hahaha. and a big nose like she does. he sorta looks like nick cage tho. did SHE look like nick cage? that might be enough to turn me off of her hahahaha. Nick cage is weirdly handsome but i dont want a woman who looks like nick cage.  or neige.

i remember listening to “ecailles de lune” when it first came out (2010???) and i was like wow this is pretty neat, very atmospheric. back then “blackgaze” was not even a word. and i was impressed with neiges screaming voice. it was a decent straight up “depressive shrieking” which is a lot like what gris does.

now neige was never really “depressive.” at all. but its probably not a stretch to say maybe some of his stuff was more “melancholy.”

heh being with that woman brought me to that magical nostalgic peaceful fantasy world alcest is always going on about.

if im reading this correctly, its that neige never even listened to shoegaze until people kept telling him his music sounded pretty shoegazey, then he discovered slowdive and went all in with his shelter album. so, in other words, like one reviewer says, neige invented blackgaze “by accident.”

i noticed that when i heated up the disgusting butter blob coffee in the microwave, the butter melted and STAYED MELTED even as the mixture cooled off to around room temperature. i thought it might turn back to blobs. nope.

ok now what if you melted the butter in the microwave, then poured it into cool coffee? room temp coffee?  my goal is to have it NOT turn into blobs!

ok made the phone call to the auto service before the end of the day like i was wanting to. i still hate making phone calls! there is a recall due to air bags. i can get it repaired fo free but have been putting it off. normies have to take an unpaid day off work and risk getting FIRED whenever they need to get their car fixed hehehe. i can do this anytime, because i am a jobless neet, but i was afraid to make the call. well today i called them finally. it was either that or go to jcpenney.

looks like my nemesis KOHLS has crocs. why am i so fascinated by crocs. they are ridiculous. are you supposed to wear socks with them? because i would use them as sandals and NOT wear socks with them.

ok there is a crocs STORE near my house, in the newer mall that i refuse to go to because all the kewl young gurls go there. hehehe. all the more reason to go there. follow 18 year old hawtties around like a 35 year old creeper hahahahahahahahahahaha jk.

be like wanna come back to my huge molester van and smoke MJ and listen to GRIS hahhahahaha. maybe gris AND trist. is that supposed to rhyme.

no i dont have a huge molester van!

also i dont have any MJ. and i damn sure wouldnt have the balls to ask 18 year old gurls to come to muh van and smoke MJ with me hahahahahahaha.

women: dont be such disgusting, degenerate nihilists! or is it nihilistic degenerates.

like stories of the bride to be on a bachelorette party getting drunk and they run into a bachelor party and then the bride to be fooks some badboi right before she is supposed to be getting married. and the expectation is that the husband fooks skanks on his bachelor party.

YOU DONT OWN ME! i can do what i want with my body! dont be so possessive and controlling and clingy! of course i can fook other people when i am getting married the next day! marriage doesnt mean monogamy! monogamy is misogyny! monogamy is HATE!

heh whenever you meet a married couple, ask them if they have an open marriage.  the proper reaction is to react with lip curling disgust. NO, we’re not DEGENERATE. then you say, good, i was testing you to see if you are degenerate. you passed. good for you. i dont associate with open marriage degenerates. we live in such a degenerate, nihilistic era, that some people think that cheating on your husband or wife is just fine. just making sure you’re not like that.  just making sure youre not such a shitty goddamn cheater that both of you have rationalized that cheating is ok. fook that shit.

when i was out in the world working muh horrible job, i was amazed at how many normal people were DISGUSTING CHEATERS. people who seemed normal and nice were cheating on their husbands and wives. and it seemed MORE prevalent with the OLDER people, like by the time you get to 30, cheating is just a normal thing you do as your first marriage falls apart. super black pill. aso. brack pirru.

german tech company has not responded to my email saying yes you can call me to do the phone screening at these times. they contacted me first! then i responded back promptly. and now nothing.

aug 26

had semi weird dream that provided interesting food for thought. sheeeeeeeit at least 8-9 years ago my male friend had a gf and they were quite serious, have been in a traditional monogamous nondegen ltr for liek 4 years at least. i hung out with muh friend a lot, she hung out with him a lot, so i saw a lot of her, which can often be a problem in male male franships, except that i got along with her really well, and i was not really the third wheel. we would all have fun smokin MJ and watching movies and eating food and having dranks or whatever.

anyway my friend and the woman broke up. i was still very friendly with her and even hung out with her a little bit, which i was well away at the time was potentially controversial. yes it would be, i thought, if i had any designs on her! but she’s just a nice person, we get along well, and i dont have any other female friends. its not like im trying to GET with her. that would be just weird. and also potentially traitorous to my friend. i dont want to do that.

“on the job training provided for the RIGHT candidate” ???!?!?!?!?!!

OH THANK YOU SO MUCH.

not even taking into account that “on the job training” is ABSOLUTELY JOOISH BULLSHIT, but now its just being dangled as the reward for GOOD performers only. otherwise you get punished by being fired, or no OJT at all.

and of course the main reason OJT is BULLSHIT is because ITS NOT TRAINING AT ALL.

its you look like an untrained idiot in front of customers, then bother another busy person to show you how to do your job, and their customers and your customers wait impatiently and get bitchy, and you look bad, and your coworker resents you, and the company looks bad. lose lose lose lose lose situation.

anyway. re the 2008 or so woman. yeah she pretty much was a female friend. i got along with her well, she was very nice to me, and she was qt. sound familiar?

one day something Snapped, and i was like WOW she is a TOTAL qt, i would really like to bang her. but thats weird because that is one of muh best friends ex gfs. i respect him enough to never do something like that. but damn she is a real qt for sure……

and this was after she had started dating a new guy. probably a little too soon for my liking after the end of her rel with my friend.

sound familiar?

so, after they break up and are single for 2 months, thats when my feelings start to change, and then when they start dating a new guy, my feelings are unequivocally changed. like maybe hmm. so you were looking for a new man but didnt even consider me.

now, with that 2008 woman, i didnt have a deep luving infatuation or crush on her like with w2015. i just wanted to bang her. but i liked her as a friend. and the emotions were conflicting and confusing. also, we hung out much less as she dated the new guy. also the new guy seemed like a decent enough guy, i think they might have gotten married or at least stayed together for years.

so, w2015 was like the next level of that: we were even closer friends, i was more in luv with her, the whole thing went on for longer. also there was never the issue that i might be betraying a friend of mine, because she was never dating a friend of mine. i became friends with her directly.

but yeah in the dream there was that woman from 2008 and i guess i was trying to secs her up, touching her and trying to take her clothes off.

so yeah the main takeaway is that i probably had some kind of feelings for her, and was an indicator that i was capable of getting feelings for a female friend who i thought was just friends. or at the very least I could discover that there was signif Secsual Attraction there that I wasn’t initially aware of. and its weird. because you think ive known this person for months or years and its only NOW I’m “discovering” this physical attraction for them? when men including me can usually tell within seconds whether or not a gurl is attractive?

I think i always knew these women were attractive, but there were other mitigating circumstances where I knew that being actively attracted to them was morally wrong (gf of my friend, and or she has a bf) or inconvenient (shes just a friend, besides i am hung up on other women)

anyway i never had a big blowout with the 2008 woman, i was never deeply in luv with her, we just sorta drifted apart as she got more serious with her new bf. but there was no hard feelings and no hate or bitterness or coldness or butthurt whatsoever, and i remember her fondly and wish the best for her.

and my male friend found another seemingly decent woman and got married to her and they had a baby and i hope they have more. all white of coursh hahahaah. they have been together for like 7 or 8 years and she seems decent, i dont think she’ll ruin the marriage hahahaha. i dont really know her tho.

i was reading a blut aus nord review yesterday and the guy was like memoria vetusta II is a special album, i listened to it after muh GF gave birth to her child.

implying that the child was not his.

implying that this skank got knocked up by some loser who ran off immed after getting her pregnant.

implying that she started dating this black metal loving sap WHILE she was pregnant with the other guys child

DONT DATE ANYONE WHILE YOU ARE PREGNANT WITH ANOTHER GUYS CHILD! JUST STAY AWAY FROM MEN!!!!! DONT EVEN DATE EMO OMEGA NICEGUYS!!!!!

then the reviewer was like, i was devastated when she left me and i couldnt listen to this album for a long time.

and i thought, WOW, this guy is super pathetic cringe.

first, falling in luv with a pregnant woman.

second, being dumped by her after she has the baby, and being so upset by it.

THERE BUT FOR THE GRACE OF GOD GO I.

the woman should be glad any man can still love her after she had another man’s bastard.

yet she dumps him exactly because he is a sniveling, supplicating, weak, phaggy omega.

don’t be that guy.

i have never fallen in luv with a Single Mother or been dumped by a single mother, and I hope I NEVER do.

i guess i would bang a slutty single mother. but i still have a healthy disrespect for single mothers.

i mean theyll never tell you the truth. its always its all the guys fault. he was a total jerk and deadbeat. and acutally that may be the truth. but then…..why would you have a baby with him? because you are a white ingra who lives on instant gratification and cant think of the future. and i damn sure cant trust you.  you create life WILLY NILLY with men who would be terrible fathers! your judgment is even worse than the average womans! which is pretty goddamn bad as it is!

thats ROCK BOTTOM. when you are desperately in LUV with a single mother. I hope i NEVER get there.

especially a pregnant woman. she picks deadbeats who cant even stay around for 9 months. and why are they even putting themselves on the market when they are PREGNANT? and what kind of pathetic guy sees that and says yep thats acceptable? a rock bottom man even more desperate than I hahahahahahaha.

so he can go beat off with his own foreveralone virgin neet tears with his blut aus nord albums hahahahahaha.

no i have nothing against BaN and I would like to listen to them……if they didnt use a DAMN DRUM MACHINE.

USE REAL DAMN DRUMS. yet for 20 years and 20 albums the guy uses a blatant machine sounding drum machine. yet i can appreciate him as a good guitar player and probably good songwriter. so just play the drums YOURSELF, i will take a sloppy amateurish drum performance over a MACHINE ANY DAY. the most important thing is the drums sound good, and this guy is prob enough of a Studio Nerd to put in effort to get good sound. so just get a good sound and put in a completely amateur burzum drum performance. shit i LIKE the way varg plays drums. its NOT HARD to play in time. just fookin PRACTICE for a few hours. and the practice should be FUN, because DRUMS ARE FUN. inherently. fooking call ME up and i will do the drums even though i am the biggest amateur  and havent touched a drum set in like 8 years.

i am AUTISTIC about drums as you can see hahaha and I HATE drum machines in black metal. any kind of metal or rock. electronic drums are JUST FINE in electronic music. but elsewhere? never.

ok. had butter coffee plus a .25 scoop of protein this morning. as much as i hate to take in calories before 12 noon hahahaha.

heated up coffee in microwave so the butter actually melted hahahaha.

so now i am comparing and contrasting that woman with the woman from 2008. they were similar in that they were both very nice to me, we got along well, and they were willing to hang out with me, hahahaha.  when i first met w2015, i guess she sorta reminded me of w2008. they even looked a little alike. but as of right now, i found w2015 way qter. she had longer legs and longer hair and a bigger bottom and i liked all that very much. jeeeeeez. the less said the better. damn. sheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeit.

but yeah in the dream i was very hot to bang the woman from 2008. and i think i got her pants off and got a glimpse of The Action, but then the dream faded out. of courshe.

anyway i hope she is married with children by now. she has to be about 30 years old by now. WOW.

and one day That Woman will be 30 too. about 4 years from now hahahaha.

sheeeeeit i wish i were 25 or 26 again and had a full 4 years to go before 30!

anyway. were these women REALLY all that similar? or did the fact that they were qt and nice to me and friends with me and we got along make me THINK they were similar.

well they had sort of similar faces. both had pale white skin. they both partook MJ and because of that seemed chill and Cool. the previous woman had a lame tattoo but it wasnt a dealbreaker.

but you develop a fondness and sense of closeness when you see a woman regularly for over a year and get along well.

oh yeah at the tech interview they (the actual tech supervisor) asked me if i understood the OSI model. I grimaced and said yeah I’d studied it in a networking class about 5 years ago but I honestly don’t remember a lot of specific. I know there are 6 to 8 layers, including the application layer and the network layer, but…..I’m sorry sir, I would have to refresh my memory on it, but I assure you I would do that very quickly. hahahahaha.

http://www.webopedia.com/quick_ref/OSI_Layers.asp

heh. yeah we covered it in muh networking class which kinda sucked. the teacher was a nice guy but he wasnt a great teacher. its HARD to be a great teacher with a topic like this. but you kinda need it because the shit is kinda obtuse. it does NOT come naturally.  it does NOT make much sense.

rejection email for 20 hour a week, 11 dollar an hour part time job at local college where i was kinda hoping to get the job and they seemed to like me. DAYUM. interview was 11 days ago.

it was a doable job, nothing glorious, but nothing that would make me ragequit, i could go there for 20 hours a week and at least HOLD DOWN SOME SORT OF JOB while looking for another job.

meanwhile that bitch works FT making 16 dollars an hour and doesnt ragequit and has already made 30k more than i have in the past year hahahahaha.

hehehehe i hate competing with women in career IN ADDITION TO essentially competing for their physical and emotional favor. now you have to make more money than them and have better career status than them too.

and it does make you feel like much less of a man when a woman whos much younger than you is doing a LOT better than you with career and making money. no WONDER she rejected you, ya damn neet loser! you cant work and make money like a real man!

sheeeeeeit that guy who i was playing phone tag with called me BACK! and i missed the call! i called him right back and got VM. sheeeeeit. so now i will call him back every 10 or 20 minutes until 5 pm hahahaha.

it is 325 right now.

i didnt expect him to call me back! after i called him back, left a voice mail, then called him again the next day. i just figured he’d call one of the other 500 applicants.

this fookin guy i used to work with fookin looked at my linkedin profile and stole some of my blurbs for HIS shit with the company!!!!!! white guy but fat as fook. he was obnoxious because of his fatness alone. he was REALLY fat. typical computer gamer who does nothign but sit at the gaming machine and eat fast food and drink soda. he had a GF but guess what, she was a fat pig too hahahahahahaha. she might have been cute if she lost at least 100 pounds too! she was young and didnt have a fat ugly face.

i only talked to him once and he was not as obnoxious as i thought he’d be hahahahaha. so i figure he’s just a decent white guy struggling, so i will let him copy and paste my paragraph hahahaha. not sure if he found a new job yet. he strikes me as not too much of a go getter. probably milked his unemployment as much as possible hahahaha. he went to a high school in a real white trash area of town, so its good he’s not a drug addicted, pill popping, tattooed eminem wannabe hahahahaha.

come to think of it, there were quite a few people from that white trash high school at this job. before working there, i had never really met anyone who went to that school.

my female former friend could have gone to a REALLY white trash high school but she somehow got school of choiced into a better high school? I think? I would have liked a chance to talk to her more about that. get to know her better hahahahaha. i hate fookin WOMEN hahahhhaha.

FINALLY. got ahold of the guy, got interview set up for tuesday 4 days from now. NOICE. number 18. unsuccessful interview number 18. got to get to 25 or so hahahaha.

entry level test technician for testing inspection and certification. testing parts. really hands on he says. did not ask about wage sheeeeeeeeeeeit.

hey dont get the hopes up hahahaha. this is ONLY the 18th interview. i got to get to at LEAST 25, 30, 40, or 50 remember hahahaha. im not lean and mean enough yet. havent paid muh dues yet.

but yeah i get SOME confidence boost from getting a new interview. and then can also get a conf boost if the interview goes ok. if the interview does NOT go ok, then i feel bad for a few days hahahaha.

of course, even if the interview goes ok and i feel good, i still know i wont get the job hahahaha.

also the place is really close too. and full time. probably at least 12 an hour hahaha.

its only 7 miles away. dayum. believe me that is huge.

today i kinda felt like going on okcupid and seeing what kinda bangable 25 year old sluts there are out there. i mean i dont want to go to a meth addicted hooker, so might as well go to a oxy addicted nihilistic skank who beleives their nihilism and hedonism is something like “i am a very LOVING person, i LOVE everybody.”

TO LOVE ALL EQUALLY IS TO LOVE NONE WELL

-t. i cant remember who, some vaguely alt right person of courshe hahaha.

ok gonna give this one a try now. i heard their first album years ago and remembered it was pretty good “atmoblack”, not all pvssy and blackgaze, yeah theyre hardcore pagans but they didnt seem like communists. also i found the fact that they were english to be interesting. maybe an anglo saxon sort of paganry hahahaha.

WOW the hr gurl who is 10 years younger than me, confirmed the phone interview finally, for monday. sheeeeit i thought she forgot about me too. well i have never had a phone interview to bomb hahahaha. i am not confident they will call me in for an in person interview.

and then i have an in person interview on tuesday.

i am not counting the phone interview as a real interview, ie, towards muh number.

so the one on tuesday (plane/car parts testing lab) is The 18th Interview. well 18 is an auspicious number in golf. maybe the 18th will be my lucky one hehehehe.

and today a guy i went to community college with 5 years ago sent me a request on linkedin. we were in an economics study group together for the one bitchy econ prof. i wonder how many econ instructors they have today. come on. like they couldnt just get some dime a dozen mba to adjunct instruct econ 101 and 102 for 15 bucks an hour hahahahaha.

oh sorry i guess they make more like 30 bucks an hour. well. hmmm. thats not bad then.

wodensthrone album was ok, good, listenable i guess hahaha. i listened to the first song, some of the second song. all long songs hahaha. and mainly listend to the fatherland.

 

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THEY CANT IMAGINE WHAT ITS LIKE FOR US, WE CANT IMAGINE WHAT ITS LIKE FOR THEM

aug 9

dat feel when you are “fasting” till about 1 pm hahaha

drinking coffee and then shart your pantz hahahahaha

nothing too major but you still definitely have to change the drawers.

thinking how the hell would you deal with this if you were at your JOB.

and this is why smart people have an extra pair of drawers in their car or locker just for this very reason.

because i am very very very smart and i still shart muh pantz as a 35 year old grown ass man hahahahaha.

been INTERVIEWING so much I have fallen back in my actually applying to jobs. so, trying to catch up on that today.

also trying to do 16/8 hours in terms of fasting/eating. do all your eating within an 8 hour window.

since i might have a snack around 9 pm tonight, that means i dont want to eat anything till 1 pm.

but i will drink coffee.

ok did 4 applications then ate small breakfast at around 115pm, as i was fasting on a 16/8 intermittent….i already described this hahahahalolololol.

rustlers_gonna_rustle_-_haters_gonna_hate_-_rustled_jimmies-20120923-142511

heh hehehe

5T6NLs2

leave me alone lads

ok ok i think that is enough of that.

 

its just fookin STUPID and DISGUSTING how what is SUCH A BIG DEAL to an omega kissless virgin, means ABSOLUTELY NOTHING to the average WOMAN. Not even talking about sluts. but average women are totally COMFORTABLE with the idea of secs, they ENJOY regular secs with their BF’s, they ENJOY regular cuddling and tickling and ASMR whispering, and all of this stuff is SUCH A BIG DEAL to us KV’s, because we have never experienced them before, or are on a 12 year dry spell hahahaha. WOMEN can NEVER know the pain of a 12 year dry spell. i just want them to check their privilege hahahahaha. i’m not saying they shouldnt HAVE this privilege. the privilege makes sense. whats RUSTLING is how they claim not to have it.

i bet its like how it makes Black Activists feel when Whites say that Whites dont have white privilege, white privilege is a MYTH.  hahahahaha.

well it is hahahaha.

but female relationship supply privilege is NOT a myth.

they cant even IMAGINE what its like for US, who havent even cuddled with a woman in 12 years;

and we can’t even imagine what its like for THEM, where being in a relationship and having regular cuddles and secs is NOT a weird thing.

hehehehe. thats my point. and that’s why i get rustled when WOMEN offer unsolicited advice to MEN. and really why only MEN can help other men out of this tragic, pathetic, despairing situation.

a woman having secs with her BF and not getting totally nervous about it. just enjoying the secs.

if we have ever had secs, we were extremely nervous about it and never had the chance to really enjoy it, because no woman ever stayed with us long enough so that secs was a regular, consistent thing that you could get comfortable with.

less than .00001% of women know what that’s like, because ALL women have been in long term rels where they had regular secs at least SOME of the time!

which im not saying makes them sluts. it just simply means there was a period in their life where they got regular secs and weren’t nervous about it and enjoyed it, and that is a pretty big thing, and they have a very hard time seeing how its a big thing, because it seems like such a NORMAL thing.

ate breakfast. now the challenge is, dont eat any snacks. dont eat any damn potato chips, dont even have a damn protein shake because even THAT is 180 calories.  i will have a tiny snacklike dinner at around 5pm and then have my Big Meal around 9 pm.

which is a terrible time to have your big meal, but this is my social event, and its kinda expected to get food, and this place has very good food.

i just wished women viewed secs as something SPECIAL that you shared only with someBODY special, and didnt just give away to men you just met.  i mean shit thats PORNOGRAPHIC. this is how New Life is Created!!!

i am so unmasculine that i look a photos of m1kk0 4sp4 and say damn what an awesome guy, i wish i could meet him one day, and then i notice he has a ring on his finger in 2016 that wasnt there before, and I wonder did some LUCKY LADY nail him down. well i mean yes i hope so, I want MA to marry a nice traditional finnish woman, pref virgin, and have LOTS of kids. he’s done some degen things in his past but he is totally able to make up for them.

when the same jobs pop up on DIFFERENT sites a few weeks later. should i count it as applying for separate jobs? shit yes, because i am spending at least 12 minutes on it hahahaha.

i hope muh buddy MA does get married to a nice finnish tradwife and never goes back to his degen interest in pornography and degradation and humanity is shit, etc. i think he knows by now that HIS people arent shit!

i just dont want him to pick the wrong woman. cuz i fear he has dealt with sluts and skanks in the past. (speculation.) but i want him to MARRY and have CHILDREN with a GOOD decent trad woman.

this is all from seeing a damn RING on his finger in a 2016 photo hahahahaha.

its none of my BUSINESS what he does in his personal life, and he’s not the type to TALK about it either!

i just think he makes great music and does great work, so i want him to be a great person in his personal life. and it was so encouraging to discover that he was big into Nationalism. Since I have been getting big on related topics too, hehehehe.

ok 7 jobs applied, got my daily average back up to 3.0, (7 day) got my 5 day work week average up to 4 per day. ie 21 per week. this is about as good a goal as any. maybe 25 per week hehehe.

shit i will have to apply to about 5 more today just to get to 22 per day. thats how these goddamn AVERAGES work. its difficult to push them even a LITTLE bit. which is appropriate for averages, I think.

see normies would say to me, why the hell dont you get a masters degree if you think youre so smart. you dont belong in the regular world. you belong in the masters degree world. or law or phd or something.

and then those people would say ehhhhh you fall a little bit short here, whyd you fook up in college? you might have been a good Professional, but you fooked up and never really corrected course. now youre in an awkward position.

and i will say yeah i hated school, i thought school was a scam. i tried going back to school a little bit to build REAL job related skills. thats what these 80 credits are right here. Then i got a new job, went crazy, then was in the depths of despair for a year. and here i am now, trying to get out of THAT.

wish there was a better word than “TRADWIFE” for an ACTUAL traditional, decent, good, moral, nonslut wife. because “tradwife” is a joke that means tranny. which is FINE……but what about the “tradwives” who actually ARE women?

i dunno i think some people use it to talk about actual females and we can determine if you are talking about a woman or a man based on context hahahahaha.

avg as 18 minutes for the 7 applications i did TODAY. longest one was 34 minutes. damn.

“A racist used to be someone who hated Blacks. Now, a racist is someone who doesn’t hate Whites.” Dr. David Duke.

I dont even know if DR DUKE said that, but its plausible, and its a great quote. yes i am the type of white racist who likes david duke. i would vote for david duke for senate ALL DAY if I lived in LA. I hope he wins. he’s a bit degen in his personal life, but his white stuff is UNIMPEACHABLE. I def went through a DD phase a few years ago. He made me moar J-wise. Great man, great teacher, go listen to his radio show NOW.

i have no doubt DD loves the White Race as much as I do hahaha. He is just tempted by Secsy Wimmin and Gambling. I mean shit if I had Secsy Wimmin throwing themselves at me, I would be tempted by them too. Plus he was always a handsome and charming man. However I am very curious how his relship is with his children. I know he has at least one child, well by now they are an adult. probably has grandchildren.

using lemon or lime juice and water as a natural deodorant hahahahaha.

new fatherland, and wewlad, looks like jim and bradan are guest hosting the daily shoah while seventh son is on vacation. well looks like i am gonna have to listen to another episode of the daily shoah hahahaha.

get

hahahahahahahahahahahaha

yes there is one more that is the coup de grace hahahaha

dont have nearly enough pictures on this blog.

that old friend contacting me reminded me that me and him got/get along really well and i dont have any friends like that in muh life any more. last time I saw him, That Woman was still a part of muh life, and becoming increasingly important to me. in fact i mentioned her to him, like i have this female friend that I get along with really well, and she’s not ugly, and she just broke up with her BF of 4 years, and I SHOULD be in luv with her, but I’m not, I dunno, it’s weird. and then soon after, i was in luv with her.

i mean if i lived in the same town as him, i would be hanging out with him all the time. great guy all around, just top tier man.

but he only lives 60-70 miles away! that is not far!

its too far for me, apparently.

but he is also good about accepting me for the lazy grumpy low energy low effort never lift a finger selfish badfriend that I am, hahahaha.

but yeah with her leaving my life over a year ago, i lost somebody that i felt very close to, and it was a big deal for me at least. point is i was pretty close to him as well, not in a secsy way of course, but we got along really really well in a way that I dont get along with my less close male friends.

aug 10

welp its all about the 16/8 intermittent fasting nao hahahahah. plan today is dont eat “breakfast” until 1.30 pm. totally doable.

applied for state general office job, 31k a year. not bad right? took 28 minutes on application, way up from the average 12. that average is slowly creeping up lately hahahah. might even get to 13. they asked like 5 or 6 “short answer” questions that thankfully I had saved the same questions and answers from a previous stupid app with this same state dept. which was almost 1 month ago. didnt even get a rejection from them. i suppose they could still call me in for interview. job today was only open for TWO DAYS. the posting I mean. my alerts usually come in after 24 hours. so it was opened yesterday, i found it today, and it closes TOMORROW. wow hahaha. wonder how many apps they will get. 200? certainly 100.

setting goal at 1200 calories a day. before the goal was at like 1450 and that was kinda hard to do every day. and I wasn’t really losing any weight. sheeeeeeeeeeeeeit. takes a LOT of self discipline to limit yourself to 1200. BUT I kinda need some kind of self disclipline!!!!!!

basically, the CONNECTION that i had with that woman, it was special, it was good, and thats what I want to have with the Woman I Marry and Have Children With. A Close, Intimate CONNECTION and Closeness and Intimacy. not something that falls short of what I had with That Woman who Childishly Ran Away from me.

connection, closeness, intimacy. it is VERY important. it is the foundation of TRUE LUV.

if you do a very fast google search on where a company office is located, and you immediate get hit with terrible reviews of the company and their “shady, useless staff”……should you still apply there hahahahaha.

sheeit they say the most powerful vitamin d sunshine is between 11am and 3pm. i usually go for muh long walk around 6 pm. because i hate walking around like a derelict earlier than that. but i might try it today for 1 hour from 2 to 3 pm hehehehe.  get some vitamin d. because the vitamin d supplements apparently dont work.

did i mention the sweet admin asst job that rejected me within FOUR HOURS of applying? i mean it looked real good. when I say that, I mean it doesnt seem to involve a call center, and the job description is fairly straightforward, no bullshit, and seems like something i am capable of, and i say HALE YEAH and apply for it ASAP, and mark it with “APPLYYYYYYYYYYY” and apply to it within an hour, if not right that minute.

another thing says between 10 am and 2 pm.

obviously most whites are at WORK during these hours and cant get their vitamin d. also, 66% of the US does not get direct enough sun during the winter to make vitamin d from sun, so you need Cod Liver Oil to help you as it does for the eskimos who get no sun ever. and the samis hahahaha.

so, armed with this SCIENCE IS MY FOOKING AWESOME GOD, I went for 1 hour powerwalk from 1:30 to 2:30 pm. it was already 90 degrees which i Luv. anyway it was great and I regret not doing this on other sunny days because i was too ashamed to be see not working during the workday hahahaha.  so i can still do a few more apps today and ive already done FIVE. then took a break and powerwalked and got OFFICIAL sun.

anyway i could tell right away it was different than the sun at 6, 7 pm. totally different. as they said, if you look at your shadow, it looks pretty short. short shadow good, long shadow bad. the sun was almost directly overhead. right above me. 90 degrees. the directness is key. also i am definitely in that 66% of the US that you can only get this during SUMMER.

i figured 1 hour was good enough. dont want to get a BURN. and of course if you use sunblock, you dont get vitamin d.

sun altitude needs to be above 50 degrees. today it got up to 62.7 at 1:30 pm hehehehe for my latitude.

http://aa.usno.navy.mil/data/docs/AltAz.php

so yeah i got the most of that. ideally i would have not wore a shirt at all hahahahahaha but i wore a “tank top muscleshirt” hahahaha.

11:30 to 3:50 is the times the sun was above 50 today. that is a very short window of time! ive been doing this all wrong!

essentially i am trying to “sunbathe” hehehehe.  for mainly vitamin d and some very slight tanning purposes. not to look “tan”, but basically to not look Pasty or Pale.  like these sluts that go to the tanning booth. they just look HARRIBLE.

i just want enough sun so i dont look like a pasty neet who never goes outside! becuase i LIKE going outside, most of all during the summer! ie right now!!!!! this is easily my fav time of year and soon it will be over! by the time you read this it will be the middle of february! and hopefully i will be working hahahahaha.

and we will have a new pres inaugurated, hopefully trumpenfuhrer. and hopefully he doesnt sell out the common white working man. but hillary could still win. the past week or so has been protrayed as trumps worst ever. i mean trump may have had a slam dunk in some states, but i really dont think he will in the general election.

june and july are best months for over 50 degree sun. aug is ok. sept is surprisingly bad. october is no chance.

yeah well what do you get from 45 degree sun? anything?

like in september there is barely any time to get the useful sun. the UVB rays. the UVA are the bad ones. UVB only breaks thru above 50 degrees. UVA can still get you tan but they also give you cancer.

i wonder how many cox these totally qt volleyball gurls are taking at the olympics. i mean shit their fathers can accompany them and keep them from whoring it up. also some athletes are Married or Committed. and so they should uphold their commitment to their BF by not CHEATING on them while they are at the olympics.

just in case i ever get into a committed real with a beautiful 20 year old olympic athlete gurl hahahahahaahah.

ok. 7 job apps. AND an hour powerwalk in the peak vitamin D sun, all before 5 pm. the sun gave a bit of noticeable tanning as well. much more than many hours out at 6 and 7 pm. lesson: the 1pm sun is EXPONENTIALLY stronger.

the bitch on this american pickers (jooers) would be very good looking if she did not have all those god damn degenerate tattoos! she is obviously a tattoo aficionado. and it is sad. because she is a physically healthy and very attractive 8+/10…..and then she defiles her body with a SHITLOAD of RIDICULOUS tats. which indicates SEVERE emotional disturbance.  CRAY CRAY. total cheater, mudshark, bipolar, borderline.

no father would let their daughter do that. unless the father was himself a tatted up freak. good chance of it. probably a biker or some shit.

BIKERS DO NOT MAKE GOOD FATHERS.

This one gurl I briefly liked, and was a crazy mudshark slut, her father was a biker and he was also a deadbeat and not present at all, which largely led to her becoming a crazy mudshark slut. good job friendo.

it can still be hot as hell and you can still get skin cancer and sunburn at like 5 pm….butyou wont get any of the useful UVB at that time! ridiculous! it really is not intuitive.

dontrustleme

bwahahahahahahahahaha

so. say you are applying and bla bla health care revenue cycle managed services inc for job a, you attach your packet for it.

then, 5 minutes after applying, you find job b with same company. you delete packet a from being “associated with the candidate record” and then upload packet B, which of course is very similar, just with a very words changed.

so what do THEY see when they look at your submission for job a? do they see packet B? do they see nothing?

of course they wont TELL you, they just throw your shit in the garbage where it belongs hahahaha.

so now my official policy is, keep uploading a new packet for every job, and give it a filename accordingly, until the system says you cannot upload any more. then delete the oldest one.

the things we do to get a 14 an hour job!

in the good old baby boomer days, it was assumed that you would be trained on the job for every job. NOW that assumption has shifted entirely: its not the COMPANY’s responsibility to train you anymore, its YOUR responsibility to TRAIN yourself.

it has been hard for me to accept this since in muh family and muh upper working class community, the boomer previous generations who raised us, they were in the Company Trains You world, and the next generation, Us, We are in the You Train Yourself at Great Expense world, and yeah you can get a little assmad about it. like how come I gotta do all this extra work just to get what you didn’t have to do ANY extra work for?

because joos. and you can either accept it and make some money to try to create your own strong white world, or you can complain and let da joos assraep you without putting up a fight.

359 days since i sent The Last Email to her. Aug 17th is the big one year no contact anniversary. maybe i should celebrate. yes i really should.

aw sheeeit that goddamn healthcare company essentially keeps positing the same jobs every 3-4 weeks, and i keep applying to them, only they use a different requisition number, but its basically the same job. I never get called. I have to wonder, are they actually hiring people? or is this one of those PHANTOM JOBS? that will just get posted every 3 weeks over and over and over again, getting 60000000000000000000000000000000000000000000 applications, allowing them to maintain a pool of the 100 best people of all time? which they prob wont do because its too much work. no time. time is money wagie! we can’t afford to schedule more part time hours to do that task!

like this fooking hospital. EVERY job they post is part time. like fooking nursing jobs, medical assistant, stuff you need an education for. getting a full time days job there is impossible.

i mean there are .7 FTE jobs and midnights jobs and PRN jobs and Rotating Shift jobs.  i am thankful i am just not that DESPERATE yet!

ok did a 3.6 powerwalk. 6.6 total today hehehe.

listened to that scottish 34 year old virgin with the phd who lives with his parents and cant get a job and has sent out hundreds of applications and gone on…..only 5 interviews as far as i can tell. well i have done 13 interviews and sent out 350 applications and nothing mother fooker so i am better than u virgin hahahahaha.

no i kid. i am totally on this guys side. totally. 100%.

he finds the silver lining in that he has very few expenses, he doesnt need much, he doesnt want much, he doesnt spend anything, he doesnt have some soul crushing job, and he doesnt have some bitchy GF sucking him dry.

that last bit sounds pretty mgtowy in the worst way and was the only thing i disagreed with.

when i was at “rock bottom” one of the few things that gave me hope was the idea that i was part of something larger, something greater, namely, the beautiful white race. and maybe ONE DAY I would be able to add to that white race and help it live into the future by having white children of my own. i saw the entirety of the White Race throughout history and how I was part of something beautiful and sacred. i might be unable to survive independently, support myself, find a woman, get married, have children…..but i could support other white families, add to white survival in other ways other than having children.

IDEALLY, having children is the BEST way……but theres still OTHER things I can do. also, not all whites who have white children are race conscious AT ALL. and would just as soon get knocked up by a white biker, then get knocked up by tyrone the black thug.  OR the children are swpl marxist hipsters and they teach their children that race is a social construct.

but yeah basically Race gave me some security, stability, confidence, and a sense of BEAUTY when I really needed all these things. when the world was a lonely, ugly, brutal, loveless place. when no job would hire me and no woman would hang out with me.

You can take muh life, but you can never take muh whiteness!

COME HOME, WHITE MAN.

it really was a big thing for me, and I recommend it to all white neets and losers and virgins. it grounded me and fixed my nihilism problem hehehehe.

You dont need to believe in nothing when you are WHITE!

now, white winners and normies will say this is sad and pathetic, and i’m CLEARLY becoming a racist because I have no real accomplishments of my OWN. and theyre not even really WRONG!

but I feel absolutely no guilt about being a white racist or about loving whites. It feels good and pure, like the love you have for GOD or a WOMAN or your FAMILY. It’s seriously on that level. and how can that be a bad thing???!?!?!?! ITS NOT!!!!!!!

women never will understand this. it doesnt matter. just find a woman who hasn’t been with a nonwhite, marry her, get some white babies out of her, and THEN she will probably understand, and never go black.

but yeah. women are not loyalty to their MEN, they are loyal to their CHILDREN, IF they are loyal to ANYONE. And MANY of them are NOT EVEN LOYAL TO THEIR CHILDREN!

again, it all starts with their fathers. The better the father, the more loyal a woman will be to her boifran or to her children.

in other words, i should have stayed away from that woman as soon as I learned she didnt have a real father. which i learned quite early.

BUT I did kind of build a BIT of a wall. I could feel her wanting to get close to me, and I was thinking, you have a boifran, and also you dont have a father, and I dunno. I will be friendly and nice and talk to you but I’m not gonna let you all the way in. we’re not gonna hang out every single week.

of course as time went on……..i was like well we get along SO WELL! and she’s SO NICE! she turned out SO WELL despite not having a father! and NOW she’s single!!!! she would be a great GF! and she’s going out with a black sleazebag so quickly after ending a 4 year rel, her first serious rel???? WTF????? Why not me????

so yeah you can see my train of thought.

but obviously IT WASNT MEANT TO BE. not even a little bit.

hard to say if we can trace that back to the no father being the root cause. IT CERTAINLY DIDNT HELP.

i dunno if i should argue for increased dose of citalopram tomorrow when i see dr. id just as rather argue for not seeing them every 6 months, but instead every 9 or 12 months.

i mean i am of the thought that i am basically untreatable and i need all the help i can get. the main thing that cures me will be Lifestyle Changes leading to Actual Success….and I haven’t gotten there yet, so keep throwing increased dose and also regular shrink sessions at it. shrink once every 3 weeks, and gradually increasing citalopram. why not. i mean im not getting younger and i am pretty far behind. need all the help i can get.

i have gotten a lot better about doing Job Search Work…….and its gotten me 13 interviews………but it hasnt gotten me an actual JOB yet. and then once i GET a job, I will damn sure want as much citalopram as possible to keep me from having a NERVOUS BREAKDOWN and SNAPPING.

because when I had muh Nervous Breakdown with the Job and the Woman, I had also run out of muh paxil.

but i feel that was a coincidence rather than causation.

i mean basically a large cause of the despair is my own sense of being a failure at accomplishing things meaningful to me: namely, with jobs and women. i just want the american dream of a 14 an hour job that doesnt drive me totally crazy, and also a 7/10  approx 25 year old tradwife that’s been with no more than 3 guys, whites only, hahahahahahaha.

and i will feel a sense of despair until I achieve those Major Life Goals.

i mean OTHER PEOPLE have acheived these things before age 25. why shouldnt I hahaha.

they say dont compare yourself to other people. i see their point, BUTTTTTTT…….

ITS ABSOLUTELY IMPOSSIBLE NOT TO.

Because you see average normies, not super geniuses, but just average normal normies achieving the fairly modest things that you want to achieve. i’m not asking for the best. I’m just asking for 14 an hour job, not to go crazy, a 7/10 wife, 25 years old, less than 4 guys, whites only.

MAYBE THAT IS TOO MUCH TO ASK!!!!!!!!!!!

 

YOU WILL DRINK THE BLACK SPERM OF MUH VENGEANCE

may 28

that title is from a nile song on the “festivals of atonement” ep from 1995 hahaha. or 1997.

heh. couldnt sleep last night having work worries, like should i take the post office job. i kinda wish i had never even applied for the post office hahahaha. not sure what would be the less shitty job. city carrier, or mail processing clerk.

https://toughnickel.com/industries/CCA-Survival-How-to-Make-it-Through-Your-Postal-Trial-by-Fire

https://toughnickel.com/industries/CCA-Bootcamp-What-to-Expect-During-your-Brief-but-Brutal-Letter-Carrier-Initiation

https://toughnickel.com/misc/So-You-Want-to-Be-a-Mailman-The-CCA-Experience

heh this is not really changing that very uncertain feeling in muh gut

this author “mel carriere” hahahah is actually a very funny and good writer. There are some very intelligent people who currently work in the PO who write very articulate screeds on the internet. but he has a good sense of humor which i do not think i would share.

heh i am now feeling very bad about post office. my gut feeling says no. ok. its ok to feel the feelings. if i were ACTUALLY DESPERATE that would be a LOT different. If I had kids to take care of or i was gonna get thrown out on the street. and many people ARE!!!!! and god bless them and take care of them. but i dont need that help. I recognize muh privilege. and I know that I am too big of a crybaby and not tuff enough to handle this type of stuff.

basically every job that starts you out at 15 bucks an hour is gonna have a CATCH. where it basically sucks so bad you struggle not to RAGEQUIT.

better to shoot for 12 dollars an hour and never have a wife and kids. just bang 20 year old sluts. ok fine. i mean I would like to have a wife and kids. but as an alternative, and not nearly a perfect replacement, I’ll take banging 20 year old sluts.

I kinda felt this way after I finally got over Woman2012 and before I fell in luv with woman2015.

now I can see how insignificant woman2012 was to my life. we barely hung out, barely knew each other.

woman2015 was a lot more significant. we talked and texted and hung out regularly and she told me secrets.

i am kinda butthurt that I was there for her when she needed me, but she left me in the lurch when I really needed HER.

Ok so I need to come up with a good story when the post office offers me their shitty job hahahaha. say sorry but I’ve accepted another offer. With the county water dept hahahahahahaha.  and then tell the water dept i cant take their shitty job because i accepted an offer with the post office hahaha.

well the best bet is this interview i have next week with a FT City job. department clerk. Maybe it will be like a mini call center taking calls 75% of the day. but it is a lot closer and the hours are 9 to 5 and pays like fooking 18 dollars an hour horry sheet.

well. how much of the day would I permit to be Active On Phone Calls for that job? maybe as much as 65% hahahaha. its 5 miles away, 18 bucks an hour, no split shifts, weekends off. consistent schedule.

so yeah I think I will just put the brakes way on the post office stuff.

i was driving down this one street close to home and there is a big industrial area there including a big FEDGOV installation and I was thinking, yep would be nice to get a job there, thats where successful people work hahaha. and then right near there there was a building affiliated with the local college that seemed to promote technical training. like for smarty pants machining and assembly jobs. the college website didnt seem to have too much info on how to actually take classes in this building.

but i am toying with the idea of taking classes to make myself look less lazy. make self look marginally less lazy, by taking 1 class a semester, and having the occasional interview. not bad plan uh?

classes are expensive though. so thats why you only take 1 at a time hahaha.

oooosh. had to fight temptation to look at HER profile on linkedin. cuz i know she is permanently out of a job now and she will prob get a job a lot faster than I will. but WHERE? i know for a fact things are drastically changing in HER life, and I DO want to know where she goes next. somewhere better? somewhere worse? another Call Center? something with LEadership? something that I need to be better than? and she doesn’t care what I’m doing. so Im glad I fought that urge. she was never active on linkedin, but being out of a job and looking for a new one is a good reason to start getting active on linkedin.

I WAS THERE FOR HER, WHY COULDNT SHE BE THERE FOR ME?

well because i was asking too much.

well i WASNT really. I wasnt asking her to be in luv with me, i was just asking her to talk to me and end the rel in a respectable way.

but she was too confused to realize that. she didnt want to understand that.

and she didnt want to make the effort to understand because she just blocked me!

oh well life goes on and i can make up lies as why to not take this post office job. welp they must have chosen that black guy instead hahahahaha. oh well looks like i was guilty of being white. white mans burden, lloyd.

hahahaha.

i am a proud white man but i have the WORK ETHIC of the laziest inger hahaha. i dont want to work, i dont believe hard work will make you free, i dont believe in the american dream, i just want to coast, i am indolent and insolent and shifty and shiftless and surly.

a white man with a black mans work ethic. this is absolutely shameful and degenerate.

heh. well at least I KNOW its shameful and degenerate.

my new thing is to drink 3/4 a cup of 2% milk in the afternoon while waiting for muh Big Meal of Dinner. Actually, to mix in that milk with a cup of coffee, so i am drinking a large very milky coffee.

really i just want to go back to high school and do all the things right that I did wrong. like maybe got into a STEM high school or a vocational program in high school, like some high schools have good Career Prep stuff and teach you machining and Electronics and stuff like that.

Well I didnt really have a lot of say in what high school I went to. I went to a college prep high school so, i was gonna get prepared for college.

thats ok too. I should have just eased off on the AP classes and went to community college or trade school or, at most, local university. NOT a highly-selective, well-known, successful, middle class, high-expectations university at age 18 like I did.

I didnt realize that getting a bad attitude in college would mess up muh life so much. I had a terrible attitude during high school and I got into a very good college. I had a terrible attitude in college and now I have had a TERRIBLE outcome in life. I was expecting tedious, boring, and average at worst. I had no idea how bad it could get hahahaha.

like, get a degree from this well-known school, any degree, even a useless degree, and get a boring job as an office drone.

NOPE. YOU WISH.

but I was 18-21 years old and I knew nothing! I just wanted to sm0ke MJ, drink booze, and bang young college qts!

which is itself the WORST attitude you can have while at college. because it jeopardizes your performance in a solid STEM field. but I didnt think you needed solid performance in a solid stem field. MAYBE if I were going to a “worse” college. but with the name recognition here, I could AFFORD to COAST in a useless nonstem degree and that will be enough.

IT WASNT hahahaha.

its not that I see myself as being ABOVE that sort of work. its more than I am TERRIFIED that I am not TUFF ENUFF 2 HANDLE IT. its again like private pyle and boot camp. i KNOW Im not above it!!! It is probably above me!

or is this a case where i need to SAY YES to something, then FACE MUH FEAR?

I just wish there were a less extreme way of facing muh fear than taking such a damn big RISK. Going out and doing interviews, ok thats a fear facing thing I can do, but accepting such a controversial job seems so damn risky for me. i dont want to go ALL IN like this.

i luv the fatherland 1488 dadcast but I wish there were also a podcast for neet virgin incel omega losers. lazy losers like us who have no hope of having a job or a wife and kids like these lucky fools who get to secure the existence of our people and a future for their white children.

wheres the podcast for the neets. the neetcast hahaha. it’s clearly incumbent on me to do it. show agency.

on episode 27 jim made some remark like he gets a lot of childless men asking to be on the show, and or neets, and then he made some remark like NOPE, we have standards here, we only have men with kids, you can send us your questions, but you can’t come on the show. its NOT COMPLICATED. just meet a nice woman and have kids.

so naturally I and all the other neets will find that very patronizing. believe me I would LOVE to JUST find a nice woman who isnt a god damn traitorous whore, who hadn’t taken 100000000 cox. I dont have a high opinion of my self, but I know I’m better than to Create New White Life with some damn gutter slut.

they think its so damn EASY to find a decent woman and to find a decent job. check your normie nonvirgin privilege, chad hahaha.

so yeah I think they should regularly have neets and at least childless men on. because we want what they have. we listen to the god damn show.

but should you settle for example, with some slut just because she’s white? also the guys didn’t give nearly as much commentary as I would have liked on a forum thread where guys talk about marrying and having kids with single mothers. I don’t want to marry a single mother but SOME guys have done all right with single mothers. how can we diferentiate the good single mothers from the bad single mothers, knowing that being a single mother is itself very risky red flag?  i mean yeah we’d PREFER a woman who was not already a mother!

anyway i just want these guys to understand how hard it is to find a woman who is WORTH having kids with, who isnt a damn whore with 10+ guys. I want a neet or incel to come on the show and give them those hard questions:

should you marry a woman who has been with 10+ guys? has YOUR wife been with 10+ guys? would you marry her if she had?

you do understand many guys have to settle for single mothers because they can’t find decent women who don’t have children. better to just assume they’ve learned from their mistake, rather than they would repeat their mistake.

so yeah hopefully jim goes back on his anti-neet hatred. childless guys are listening to this show because they WANT TO BECOME LIKE YOU. So give them the respect of coming on the show. dont just tell us to have some kids.

BECAUSE WE DONT WANT TO HAVE KIDS with these women!!!!!!!! we want to have kids with GOOD women, like you guys have! you guys actually Luv your wives! and aren’t just knocking up some tattooed slut! you make fun of tattooed sluts just like we do!

applied for the same 26000 dollar entry level county job i applied to 2 weeks ago. they reposted the posting and allowed me to apply again. this time i included two letters of recommendation as opposed to just once like last time.

i forgot about the frustration of applying to the SAME JOBS over and over again because they didnt contact you the first time. it pays less than the post office, but you have a much easier time getting a job at the post office. or a damn call center hahahaha.

i guess if its hard to get……then the better the job IS, right??!?!?!?!?! so I WANT a job thats hard to get. but they’re just so hard to get!!!!!!

reeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee just have some kids with the dirty herpes hepatitis bar slut with the neck tattoo and then we can be on your podcast hahahaha. men become deadbeat fathers because the MOTHERS are total shit hahahahaha. you dont abandon your child if you’re having the child with a quality woman!!!!!! if the woman is a train wreck then you run the fook away!!!!

yeah its wrong, yeah you should take care of your kids, but its a lot easier when you love and respect the mother of your children is all i’m saying. and these guys clearly do. they need to RECOGNIZE and respect how hard it is to find a woman like that.

may 29

black pigeon releases a sequel to his controversial and popular vidya hahaha. not a fan of the pornographic (hahahaha) thumbnail but also he does not seem like a butthurt mgtow woman hater either. just speaking from more of a red-pill, pro-white alt right perspective that women vote for antiwhite leaders who bring in more and more outsiders. that women are shitty at defending their ingroup…..but thats not their job, that’s mens job. but they have been given the political power to destroy their ingroup.

so, IMHO, men need to step up and defend the ingroup by preventing women from voting, hahahaha. if every man could keep at least one woman from voting, that would be great.

IDEAS MAN!!!!!!!

so how would you do that?

i dunno do vote shaming. like only sluts and weird weird crazy batshit women vote. oh you vote? you must be a crazy slut catlady who cant get a man. and youre not strong and independent either. youre just crazy and NO ONE LIKES YOU. cool people dont want to hang out with you. the only people that want to hang out with you are losers. the only people that want you are loser creepy men who can’t pull a better woman.

YOU KNOW WHAT YOU ARE, BABY?

CREEPBAIT.

oh yeah. had stupid dream with THAT WOMAN again. this is like 3 times in one week, this is RIDICULOUS. And I am actually starting to get over her too! and then the most dreams ever.

Here I was hanging out with 2 male friends, and her, and she was ignoring me and flirting with my male friends. naturally I got butthurt and jealous and mad and started getting angry at her. of course the second you get angry at a woman, you’re the bad guy, so she said something like see this is why I don’t want to hang out with you, your friend is way cooler than you. also I was possibly a little disappointed that my freinds werent taking more of a BROS BEFORE HOES approach.

thing is, she wasnt like that AT ALL. I’ve known other women who were, like woman2004, and yeah that was kinda convenient because it made it a lot easier to hate the woman. and no, no woman was ever doing any serious moves on any of my real close friends.  thank GOD!!!!!

anyway That Woman wasn’t really like that. I don’t want to mischaracterize her and say She’s Like All Women and All Women Are Like That…..because its not true.

so in that sense the dream was bad and inaccurate.

but it didnt really BOTHER me that much thank GOD.

ok one other point. I have been worried that I’m gonna misremember her as our entire relationship was a farce, a relationship simulator, that there was nothing there, that it was a totally one sided rel, much like it was with…..most women i have gotten feelings for.

when its pretty clear there WAS a substantial, real, long term relationship there. and it’s important to me just to recognized that THAT HAPPENED. THAT WAS REAL. that WASNT all in my mind.

And I worry that because of the way it ended, I will remember the relship wrong, and say, welp, its just another woman where the WHOLE REL WAS A FARCE/FRAUD/SIMULATION.

but it wasn’t. many things with women WERE, but NOT THIS ONE. and I don’t want to get confused there. and I have beeen so confused lately hahaha.

what helped me here was I thought about the few other women I had had Real Friendships with. Specifically two other women. maybe 3. I never fell in LUV with them, but we WERE actual friends who hung out regularly and got along well and they didn’t AVOID me and they liked me as a person and thankfully I never Got Feelings.

Anyway we eventually drifted apart with no hard feelings, and many years later, I can STILL look back and say, yep, we had an Actual, Bona Fide, NOnsimulated, Decent Friendship for a decent period of time. I wish them nothing but the best. And I don’t need their reassurance now that the friendship WAS real. I KNOW it was real and thats good enough for me.  and this friendship is in a much different class than all those fake, aborted, farce pseudo-rels I had with other women.

so yeah I don’t want to remember my rel with That Woman as a PSEUDOREL, when it WASNT.

But thinking of the OTHER women I have had legit, bona fide friendships with, it REASSURED me that I won’t misremember things in that way in a few years.

In conclusion, I will be able to look back on That Woman and say yeah, we did have a REAL, legit Relationship. It just ended in the worst way EVER.

just transferred 73 dollars from mturk into muh bank account. gettin paid hahahaha. doesnt feel bad.

also maybe “pseudorel” is a bad word for what I had with Those Other WOmen. I really don’t BLAME myself for getting feelings. Maybe we didnt spend a LOT of time together over the long term, maybe they didnt tell me their deepest darkest secrets and introduce me to their families, but they told me the basics about themselves and offered their  young nubile fertile bodies to me, and I being a young, innocent, naive NiceGui, that activated endorphins and oxytocin and vasopressin in my brain, and I Bonded with them. established an Emotional Connection with them. so that I was confused and very disappointed to see that they could be DONE with me so quickly and easily. Didn’t they BOND with me too? and if they did, how could it disappear so quickly? wtf was WRONG with THEM?

so yeah I don’t blame myself too much there.

maybe is wasn’t a total pseudo rel, but it still wasnt a rel deep rel or a two sided rel.

and at one time, for 2 years, I had a real, nonpseudo, two sided rel with That Woman. I just hoped she would REcognize and Appreciate that. But just because she didnt doesnt mean it doesnt exist.

although lately i’ve been going through a very irrational stage where I am just confused in everything and I doubt everything. how do we KNOW anything. at war with reality hahaha. you cant prove ANYTHING. nothing is REAL. ONLY DEATH IS REALLLLLLL hahahaha.

hahahahha death is real funny hahahah

what about woman2012? was that a pseudorel?

well…..yes and no. it was one sided from the beginning. but she was a nice, honest, moral person. but it was so one sided yeah I can’t say it was ever a REAL rel. but she had good will and good faith. she was just retarded at dealing with men plus she was OBSESSED with her schoolwork. which paid off bigtime for her. well good for her. also when she finally rejected me she did it in the Best Way Ever: Open and Honest Communication.

but yeah that gave me some sense of peace: that I didn’t need HER to CONFIRM that YES, we DID have a REAL Relationship. Just like I don’t need my other female friends to Confirm. Although I’m sure they would be willing to if I Reached out and asked them. But I don’t feel any NEED to. I am SECURE in the knowledge.

fatherland 027 hate to bash jim the anti-neet so much because nick b steves had some GREAT points in this episode, was a great guest. great points on porn like it makes things that arent supposed to be sexual, sexual, so men can’t even TALK to women. they see a woman holding a pen and get nervous and sweaty thinking of porn women holding dicks. the majority of time they spend with women is seeing this artificial hyperstimulus. so they cant interact with women in real life. very sad.

or the idea that gayness is hypersexuality. not EVERYTHING is SEXY.

or the idea that men used to do some pretty gay things together with their male friends but no one even THOUGHT about the gay aspect because gayness wasnt so accepted and tolerated. so you didnt need to say “no homo” every time you complimented a man.

but yeah jim I think you need to rethink your policy. bend a little on this one. have a neet on once in a while. not just the best of the best, one time only. but how about the worst of the worst. like us. hahahaha. we WANT TO BE LIKE YOU remember. we are just STRUGGLING and feel like we are LOSING that battle. support us and pump us up. it’s all about the 14 words. we want the same thing you do. we just would prefer to father our white children with white women who have been with less than 10 guys and have not had any unrepented abortions.

when you have secs with guys so easily it shows a lack of respect for human life.

when you have abortions so easily it shows no respect for human life.

when you discard and replace guys so easy, it shows no respect for human life, that you view people as interchangeable objects.

its SOCIOPATHIC. you put a wall between yourself and the humanity of others.

just the propensity to HURT OTHERS with NO REMORSE. that is what bothers me about women. they just DONT CARE. and this undergirds their approach to secs, abortion, relationships. its DISTURBING and MORALLY WRONG.

do the life creation process with strangers.

casually kill your babies.

casually cut off people who have feelings for you.

all with no remorse, guilt, or shame.

THATS what I dont like about women.

Theyre evil sociopaths. little satans hahahaha.

it seems wrong to FORGET about PEOPLE so easily.

I wouldnt be so butthurt if they showed MORE remorse. just show some damn remorse and i’d feel a LOT better. but even THAT’s too much to ask.  and that’s ridiculous. in an ideal world, you would ask them to feel remorse AND not do evil things. Now you BEG them to just feel remorse for the evil things they do……and they cant even do that.

EVIL BITCHES AND WHORES!!!! LITTLE SATANS!!!! ALL AROUND US!!!!!!!

I dont even trust the WHITE ones. And I trust WHITES in general. well….white MEN. White MEN are by far my favorite group on other, and I am very glad to BE one.

YOUR A FOOKING WHITE MALE! ARE YOU KIDDING ME!!!!!!!

i guess dont get mad at women for race mixing because they just dont care about race. ok fine.

but I REFUSE to believe that women just dont care about LIFE, or that they are INCAPABLE of caring about LIFE.  So I will NEVER be soft on them for promiscuity or abortion. Which I guess may be mores serious crimes than race mixing. not that race mixing isnt fooking disgusting!

so much women do is SO FOOKING DISGUSTING!!!! MORALLY REPREHENSIBLE! ABSOLUTELY DISGUSTING!

ABSOLUTELY DEGENERATE

absolutely degenerate

hey im also critical of myself, not just evil women.

but i dont go around spraying sperm into errant cvnts and playing around with LIFE the way THEY do. I dont discard people like used Con-doms.  Failing to live up to your potential seems like a minor sin compared to that!

I just want to be treated like a HUMAN BEING by women, hahahaha. is that so much to ask hahaha.

how come women can’t treat humans like humans?

because theyre evil sociopaths!!!! OBVIOUSLY!!!!!!!!!!

I WOULD NEVER TREAT WOMEN THE WAY THEY HAVE TREATED ME!!!!!!!!!

THAT is why I Hate Women!!!!!

I would STILL never treat them the way they have treated me!

Because I TREAT PEOPLE THE WAY I WOULD LIKE TO BE TREATED!!!!!!

I have very low self esteem and dont really like myself that much, but I still want to be treated NICELY! So I am NICE to other people! Including women and nonwhites! I am nice to EVERYONE as a RULE!

so yeah basically i discovered that I DONT NEED HER to TELL ME that we had a REAL Friendship.

And this is reassuring. because before I doubted my ability to KNOW anything, to trust my on mind, essentially. That I was losing my grip on reality and I didnt know what was real and what was imaginary. In terms of my Rels with Women I mean, not in a schizo sense where you hallucinate shit.

but still its VERY distrubing to think that your mind can be SO WRONG on something SO IMPORTANT to you, that you can’t tell reality from your imagination. VERY distrubing. of course the WOMEN do play a role in that as well. they shouldnt be cutting you off so harshly. they should be treating you like a human being. I AM NOT AN ANIMAL! I AM A HUMAN BEING!

they should respect that NOT EVERYONE’S OXYTOCIN RECEPTORS ARE AS FOOKED UP AS YOURS (i mean their own).

NOT EVERYONE YOU FOOK IS AS FOOKED UP AS YOU ARE, BITCH hahahaha

some of us still think The Life Creation Process MEANS something.

EXCUSE ME for having RESPECT for LIFE AND THE PROCESS THAT CREATES IT.

EXCUSE ME for treating the people I do the Life Creation Process with LIKE HUMAN BEINGS. JEEEZ.

I like this young female golfer jessica korda, she is just beautiful. my ideal woman probably. young, non potatoey, natural blond, very innocent looking. horry sheet.

much beautiful, very wow hahahaha

she has this very young, girlish, innocent look to her, like she hasnt been with too many guys. i hope she hasn’t.

anyway I would totally marry her hahahaha. not likely to happen tho haha.

technically I saw pictures of “gay porn” today as I did an mturk task, approving pictures for apparently a gay male dating site as clean or dirty. some of the perverted degenerates took Dick Pics or even pictures of their gay assholes. the Instructions even showed a man sucking another mans dick and another man sticking a dildo up his ass. (as an example of what would be considered SEXUAL and should be rejected) I did not stare at those pictures too long. I finished the task and decided to not take any more from that group.

the user submitted pictures did not contain gay sex but did have a few Selfies of their Dicks and Gay ASsholes.

I mean that jessica korda is just RADIANT. She looks like a nice sweet gurl. I could be very very wrong but I do like that look a lot. My female FORMER friend had that look kinda. other times she looked like an ice cold bitch. But she was actually really really really nice. until the end. when she was really ice cold. that sucked.

anyway I do not count these gay pictures towards my porno strike. which stands at 202 days so far. basically I had to intentionally seek out the porno and probably massage the meat while watching it. typically what men do with porno. but yeah i have since then decided to go on strike and never look at it again. it can bring me NOTHING good. I encourage ALL men to CEASE THIS F4GGOTRY AT ONCE.

It can ONLY do you good to NEVER look at it again.

oh fook you johns hopkins organ donation, did it ever occur to you that i finished the survey and THEN accepted then HIT, because sometimes you forget to accept the hit before clicking on the survey, but YOU have the power to prevent that?

I sent them a dispute and hopefully they arent little bitches to me. youre working for johns hopkins, you are already a winner in life and can probably pull a good mate and definitely a good job. and i dont care about the 15 cents, I care about my Worker Reputation. it’s not easy to keep it above 99%.  every rejection knocks you down a LOT, just like in real life life, and if you’re rejected more than 1% of the time, you’re consiered a loser.

this Korda gurl is of CZECH descent. well good for her. I like Czechs. some beautiful slavs there. Would bang hahahaha. would marry/10 hahahaha

WOULD FATHER WHITE CHILDREN WITH/10

we slavs probably are more emotional and hot-blooded than the cool-headed, more rational aryan hyperborean ubermensch, but thats just the way it is.

Maybe That Woman was so cowardly to me because she was not a Slav so she could not relate to me on my level. She was a Scots or Irish or something. I think. Well this is BS, I think all Whites are capable of being decent to each other, whether they are a Slav or a Saxon.

Should I have KNOWN BETTER, getting feelings for a Non-Slav?

I think this is going a bit too far. I luved her just as much as I could luv any Slav woman, any HUHWHYTE woman.

they say its not luv, its infatuation. this is disqualifying the validity of your fee fees.

MUH FEELINGS ARE VALID! If I say I luved you, then its luv!

This is different that if she feels betrayed, then I betrayed her. no, i didnt DO that. you can TEST that. just like you could TEST that I luved her. she didnt luv me, fine, that’s valid, i agree with that. BUT DONT TELL ME HOW I FEEL!!!!!!!!!!

AND DONT TELL ME I DID SOMETHING I DIDNT!!!!!

At this point, thank GOD, I am over the Betrayal Issue, ie I just dont care any more.

she can think whatever her idiot brain thinks, but shes WRONG. just like I was WRONG about……..well I wasnt WRONG for luving her. It’s no surprise i fell in luv with her. And I never thought my chances were GOOD. I was just WRONG to think she would have more courage and spine here.

whys it so important to me that SHE felt the rel was important to HER? well because that is necessary for it to be a Real Rel and not a Pseudorel that was all in my mind, THATS WHY.

If you WANT an explanation, you wont be satisfied with ANY explanation hahahaha.

so you could say the same about me wanting an explanation from her!

well i didnt really want an EXPLANATION, I jsut wanted SOMETHING. Well, I wanted Kindness and Respect and Courage and to be treated like a Human Being. I don’t care about an explanation. The explanation is she’s Just Not That Into Me. I already KNOW the explanation.

I am more concerned with being Tuff Enough to handle Tuff Jobs like Post Office where you get RODE all day.

We really didnt get RODE much at the stupid call center. Sure there was a gentle push to be like yeah theres a little room for improvement here, but I know your job is tuff and you’re doing good, you are generally really good. i guess its nothing like that at the post office. supervisors follow you around in their cars to make sure you are going fast enough. you cant go to the bathroom. you know why they dont even knock on the door when they have a package?

BECAUSE THEY DONT HAVE TIME TO WAIT AN EXTRA 10 SECONDS FOR EVERY PACKAGE!!!!!!!!!!!!

because the new people are held to the same standard as the veterans!

because the standards are already ridiculous! it is VERY DIFFICULT to meet the BARE MINIMUM! its one thing to get bitched at if you are slacking. but when you are busting ass trying to do the bare minimum, and getting bitched at…..you need to hire more people and give them more time to do it. replace broken equipment that causes processors and then clerks to start late.

or if you want the routes done faster, have more people do them.

or train them better.

i mean thats why they hire PSE’s, to avoid paying career people overtime.

yet they often give pse’s a lot of overtime.

so………….why not just hire more pse’s and not pay ANY of them overtime?

I think that would be a win for the company wouldn’t it? also the PSE’s who are not getting any time off would like it.

similar thing in my old company there. there was a lot of overtime . i thought, why didnt they just hire more people?

so heres my theory: because it would cost MORE to hire enough people to find people who are GOOD enough that you would WANT them to work overtime. you just lay off the people who “arent getting it fast enough” but realize they are also expensive for having to pay unemployment.

BUTTTTTTTT….. you hire and lay off a bunch of people ANYWAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

and the people who don’t stay long probably wont get enough HOURS to be ELIGIBLE for unemployment anyway! you need to make x0000 dollars in the past 5 quarters.

so hire a lot of people LIKE YOU DO ANYWAY, just hire MORE and that way you wont have to pay ANYONE overtime. even if the people you usually give overtime to are your more skilled people.

maybe thats the argument. the skilled people are SO skilled, they add more VALUE being paid OVERTIME than the average person does not being paid overtime.

but when you are working OVERTIME, arent you more likely to be tired and stressed and upset and add LESS value?

and there is a whole CASTE of BUSINESS ANALYSTS who are supposed to use statistics to answer all these legit important questions!

anyway, the answer to things that dont make sense like this is ALWAYS…..because it SAVES money.

so it SAVES MONEY to pay 100 hours of overtime, than to hire 10 new people?

i guess. businesses have been known to be wrong.

because it SAVES MONEY IN THE SHORT TERM. that is the better answer. The shit could be HORRIBLE for the long term, but the SHORT TERM IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN THE LONG TERM.

makes sense right? YOU CANT HAVE A LONG TERM WITHOUT A SHORT TERM!

So I hate how this leads to constantly changing shit that is OBVIOUSLY bad for the long term, just to cut costs in the short term.

FIRST DF POAST IN AT LEAST A MONTH:::::
Great topic and great thoughts by everybody! I know that pain as well.

Not to offer unsolicited advice (hahahaha) I would tentatively lean towards meeting with the “MILF” (some people may quite understandably construe that term as disrespectful, but I know what you mean!) and just trying to have fun meeting someone new who you are attracted to. At the very worst, it will be an interesting story. Maybe think of it like that. Very low expectations, just trying to have fun talking to somebody.

Of course I don’t advocate using fellow human beings purely as “experience fodder” but…..I think experience CAN increase a man’s confidence, and IMHO confidence is so ridiculously important for men to have. Confidence might be THE most important aspect of a man’s personality when it comes to meeting women ( and THE most important thing in preventing depression and low self-esteem. Basically confidence is one of the most important things a man can have, period.) I can say this because I have been very unsuccessful with women and I have very low confidence, hahaha. Only somewhat kidding. But, when I have had some very limited success with women….I was at a relative high of confidence. And certainly this generates the opposite of a vicious circle: a self-perpetuating awesome circle of confidence, if you will, where confidence makes you more successful with women, which in turn makes you even more confident, etc.

Problem is, many of these “confident” guys are also narcissistic DBags as we all have seen, and I agree that these NARCISSISTS are some pretty f’ed up, toxic people, which people with a healthy self-image would not want to be associated with.

But there are also good confident people too. Good confident vs bad confident. Maybe you have a male friend who is a total happy go lucky “normie.” He seems to have everything: decent job, decent relationship, but is also himself a decent guy. Just a really good, decent, well-rounded, admirable guy, who is not a dbag. Well, maybe you don’t know anybody like this! But I am basically trying to describe a man who has a healthy, respectful kind of confidence. A real decent good guy, vs a narcissistic “Bad Boy” Thug. The latter I see as being a Mere Caricature of the Authentic Masculinity presented by the former. I hope I don’t have to explain why one should strive for the authentic over the inauthentic!

I am trying to think of a celebrity or a character I could use as an example of Good Confidence. I can’t really, hahaha. Maybe Hank Hill from King of the Hill. Just a solid, respectable man, who is confident in himself, but also very respectful and kind to others.

So I would still tentatively encourage you to meet up with the older woman, and let us know how it goes. It could be fun, and help your confidence. Or it could be a total clusterf**k, but at least it will be a very interesting story, hahaha.

I don’t really think we need to be worried about you “using the woman for experience” when you have no intention of having a serious relationship with her……because I think there are probably many women on Tinder who go into it with those very same expectations! (Well, they might call it “having fun” or “casual dating” or “meeting new people to hang out with.” Point is, it’s very unlikely this woman will want to marry you on the first date, hahaha, and vice-versa.) The important thing is that you have clear communication of both yours and her expectations and wants, and to not lead anybody on. Just have open, honest, grown-up communication. (I realize this is easier said than done. But I think most of us on DF are emotionally articulate people who are more than capable of communicating their thoughts and feelings to others!)

So I say go for it, just don’t lie to anyone. (I mean in the sense of “leading on” someone who wants a serious relationship, when you don’t. If you’re like me, you’ve only ever been on the receiving end of that and not the giving end! But I worry about accidentally doing to others what has been done to me. Anyway, I don’t think it’s THAT hard not to lead somebody on! Just have open, honest communication.) (Of course you are entitled to not talk about anything you don’t feel comfortable talking about, for example she asks you about other relationships you have had. Then I might “get creative” and bend the truth a little bit, while steering the conversation towards a new topic, with a confident smile, hahaha)

Confidence is SO important to a man’s well-being, and this is an opportunity for you to build confidence without hurting anyone. (Not that I would ever recommend hurting anyone anyway! I am referring to “bad” confidence and narcissism, in which people essentially gain a sense of power by controlling others.)

Good luck and feel free to update!

END POAST

30 year old man in a horrid retail job, and nevergf, kissless virgin, tired of seeing qt gurls all day, with dbags, and he can’t get anyone to swipe right on him on tinder, and he is lonely and frustrated. He is debating whether to go out with a “44 year old MILF” from tinder. I tentatively encourage him to do it.

oh yeah. i havent listened to any milliennial woes for months. i kinda felt guilty so I donated 5 dollas to him the other day IM SO GENEROUS AND KIND.

but I also watched a few recent vidyas and my god they were good and I would give them a DUMPTRUCK of Likes:

 

 

some good stuff about men, women, mgtows, rapeugees, and why women should probably not have the vote because they will gladly WELCOME IN THEIR OWN CONQUERORS, and on some level possibly want to be conquered (my words not MW’s!!!!!!) and they just dont have the long term vision or racial awareness or big picture thinking to see how welcoming hordes of barbaric male rapeugees could POSSIBLY be a bad thing. because we’re helping the needy, and omg those syrian men are so much secsier than the wimpy girly men at home! (again my words not MW’s, but this is kinda what he is saying, in a much more classy way.)

also, MW has a tom petty and the heartbreakers shirt which he wears sometimes in some vidyas, and this might be it. only kewl people like me and MW like TP and the HBs. Always a good sign.

ANYWAY, the guy certainly has not declined in quality and I would like to donate ANOTHER 5 dollars to him this year hahahahaha. there is a damn good REASON he is at the top of muh list. I have just become a bit more 1488 than him hahaha. he needs to stop being so NICE and CIVIL. shit I need to stop being so NICE and CIVIL.

TREAT THESE PIGS LIKE THE PIGS THEY ARE!!!!!!!

WHAT IF

sun 122pm 1-19-14

so i am trying to scheme ways to Shirk Muh Responsibilities at Work? Because I just don’t LIKE the job, so therefore I’m not going to do muh BEST?

But I AM doing my best, and getting reviewed pretty WELL for it! it’s just that I have these Sinful THOUGHTS tempting my mind. as long as I don’t Act on them. Heh. well, it’s not sinful to be scheming against a company that would get rid of me in a heartbeat. heh. this is why I want a nice FT UNION job. they can’t get rid of you so easily.

When they say that Unions Built the Middle Class, well that MIddle Class is what I usuall refer to as the Upper Working Class, or possibly Upper Middle Working Class. Or maybe Lower Middle Class on a good day.

anyway, obviously those jobs are gone. Your Parents may have had them, but You and your children won’t.

Or your parents were solid middle class dockers, lawyers, and profs, you are the 1%, and you’re SET. but maybe you underachieved in high school and are the shame of your parents because you didn’t get into Harvard and now you have to go to University of Virginia or sommat, so you feel great shame like a loser. Ok fine, you can read this blog. but only if you’re a virgin male. so get an Engin + Math Double Major at Univ of Virginia and I PROMISE you you’ll get a great job, and decent pvssy. and Don’t Smoke Weed or Drink Alcohol. Become Straight Edge. Ok, you can smoke cigarettes. just less than 1 pack per day. also, work out a lot.

Anyway, you’re YOUNG. I would LOVE to be young. But I can’t even imagine that feel anymore, because I’m OLD and FEEL Old. Spent so much time wanting Muh Youth back, that all of the suddenly I’m Literally Old.

and so therefore I’m writing more for the old than for the young.

lotta searches for fedoras in jan 2014. peak fedora.

http://knowyourmeme.com/memes/fedora-shaming

fedoramagazine

oh yeah this will get this post some hits, hahaha.

for the record i do NOT have or plan on having a Fedora. Well, I might do it semi ironically. in an alpha, non-niceguy, toughguy, anti-atheist way.  An Alpha MGTOW who IS successful With Women sort of way, hahaha.

No, not really successful with Women, but also I don’t really Care. I care much more about surviving the next day of WORK without Having a Nervous Breakdown. I have never cared less about WOMEN in my LIFE.

I would gladly never have S  (ever again, haw haw haw) in my LIFE, just to have a low-stress job for the rest of my life, hehehe. that would be SUCH a fair trade.

But yeah, when you’re closer to 20 and surrounded by 20 year old women, you’re understandably more libidinous. Horny. GIVE IT TEN YEARS! Your Testos will go down somewhat and the Women will get a LOT less attractive.

But as far as HATs, I would rather wear a ridiculous viking helmet, or one of those helmets with the single spike on top, or a Warrior Helmet of My Ethnic Ancestors, something really Warrior like.

but yeah. These Fedora F4ggots SHOULD be smart enough to realize that if they start acting like an 4sshole to women……Then they’ll start getting women. So Niceguys Finish Last. SO DON’T BE A NICEGUY IF YOU WANT WOMEN, GENIUS.  Jeez. for people that pride themselves on their INTELLECT. Nah I think it’s just FEAR more than anything. They live in fear of Women, just like I live in Fear of muh JOB, hehehe. and I concede and KNOW, that that’s a HORRIBLE feel. Worst Feel Ever, is FEAR.

on sat watched a ridic movie, listened to MY FAV youtube guy for as long as I could before PASSING OUT at liek 10:40 pm, then slept till 10am sunday, and could have done more. NICE. Lesson Learned: continue to try for the einstein ten hours every night. even if you have so sacrifice everything: social life, school, women. so that all you do is work and sleep. literally. but then you will be at the top of your game at work and not stress out so much at work or about work. and in your dreams you can bang women and do alpha things, hahaha.

had a dream where a very attractive woman came over and it turned out she was a Porn Actress, but not an Official Hooker, and I didn’t really understand the difference, except that she looked too cute to be either one, but then she started talking very matter of factly about all the crazy porno vidyas she had done, and how she could Gape Her Ahole on Command, and assured me we’d get to have a Lot of Crazy S today.  Hours and Hours, until I was completely satisfied. might call her girlfriends over too. and they were all washed and clean and hadn’t had S with a Client for days. I was bretty happy about the way this was developing! But I never actually had S with them in the dream.

then boom, wake up sunday morning, got 10 or more good hours of sleep, still want 2 more, but got to get up, and got Big Stressful Day of Work To Worry About coming up tomorrow.

So what can I DO about the stress? How can I ADAPT, respond better, DEAL with it? Funny thing is I do do my job as well as can be expected, even BETTER than expected for a new person. so I’m worried about that moment when I will “finally snap.”  which hopefully will never happen……..but what if it does!!!!

what if!

GOD CAN WORK THRU SATAN AND B3NZ0S

sat jan 11 2014, 3:13 pm

almost felt like taking a nap. got a 10 hour day on monday and then 8 hour days tues thru fri. so 2 hours of OT. I am kinda happy the OT is being cancelled but everyone else is not, then want as much OT as possible so as to make monay. I would prefer not to deal with the stress. could probably still make more money GAMBLING. don’t think I’ve forgotten that little get rich quick scheme! Texas Holdem.

Watch the Show “Regular Show”, it is very funny and neat and is guaranteed to put you in a better mood. “Adventure Time” is VERY f4ggy though, I do not recommend it, unless you want to become a 30 year old kissless virgin! besides, KISSING grills is overrated, unless you are in TRUE LOVE with her, like I was with Girl7. Pedestal. and in that case the kissing might be ok, but it is outweighed by the suckiness when it all comes crashing down.

heh. the real bad part is that if Girl7 contacted me out of the blue right now and said that she wanted to Give Me Another Chance, I would TOTALLY let her. WELL, I would say first, listen you know I’m still in LOVE with you and I want to MAKE OUT with you, so uh, realize that by you wanting to hang out with me, you are implying to me that you will let me indeed make out with you, and hopefully moar. No Friendzone For me, baby. And then see what she says after that, hahaha.

sun jan 12 2014.

got home from church, prepping music player with some satanic music i’ve been hankering, hehehe. i enjoy those kinds of contradictions. i use satanic music to glorify god through my appreciation of music. perhaps god is able to find a way to work through satan, just to confound satan.

did some nice friendly socializing last night, that was much appreciated, and cut down on the stress and worrying. he thought I seemed stressed out, strange, because I didn’t feel too stressed when I got there, I was just probably talking more, as I’ve had to talk a lot more in the new job. so he offered me an Atavan, i think it was 5 mg, 1 very small tablet. The actual name was Lorazepam, which sounds like a benzo, I said is this Lortab, No he said it was Atavan.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lorazepam

ok it is Ativan, which is a strong benzo. I was feeling pretty chill after taking that 1 pill. not bad. I wonder if my speech was becoming slightly slurred, however I WAS extremely tired before I went over and did not have time to take a nap. this prob exacerbated the effect of the lorazepam. but yeah I chilled out quick and got very tired. heh. should take one of these before going out to take calls!

but yeah i read the warnings, this one is strong, addictive, habit forming, tolerance building, etc, so in MY medical docker opinion, I would only want to take a teensy bit to unwind on weekends, or take no more than once every other day, so you never have a chance to build up a tolerance. his Rx was written for 1 tablet twice a day. Heh. I would say ONE table ONCE every TWO days.

so that was interesting, especially since I have been thinking about convincing my doc to give me xanax or valium or a benzo or ativan…. i guess xanax is stronger than valium; not sure if ativan is stronger than xanax.

“Ativan has a longer half life than xanax. It doesn’t affect you quite as hard or as quickly. So ativan may be a better medication for you than xanax. That’s the case with lots of people. It’s still a benzo and very addictive so be careful. God bless.”

“Ativan isn’t necessarily better than xanax. They are for different purposes. Xanax is better for panic attacks as it works quickly and its effects are strong. Ativan works more slowly and is better for general anxiety disorder.”

source http://www.drugs.com/forum/featured-drugs/ativan-stronger-than-xanax-53485.html

yeah got WORK tomorrow but not nearly as worried about it as I was last weekend, wonder why hehehe. might still be feeling the effects of that ativan. yep. definitely no more than one tab every other day, or once a week is more like it.  but it’s great not to be nervous! now will go outside and enjoy a nice powerwalk with some nice music while it is warmish and sunny! Nice! THANK GOD!

PUTTING THE M IN STEM

WARNING: THIS POST IS 4200 WORDS, AND ALSO CONTAINS POLITICALLY INCORRECT LANGUAGE.

[Edit: I have just remembered that the m in stem refers to “MATH” NOT “MEDICAL” like I had brain farted here. This brings me to the very important point that Math might be the most important part of STEM, the most fail-safe degree choice EVER. Whatever you major in, make sure it has TONS OF HARD MATH. This is probably because Math is the Basis for everything else. First Philosophy. Ontology. Without Math there is no physics, there is no science, there is no engineering.  If you can Grok Hardest Math, you WILL make Lower Middle Class Bux, GUARANTEED.  There really are no Caveats with Math the way there is with other STEs, the way there is with Health Care Careers, like the point I was making in this post, that: SURE, Being a Medical Doctor is Great, however, being a Part Time Home Health Aide Sucks, and THAT is probably where more of the health care jobs are, just the way that that’s where MOST New JOb Openings are: Part Time, Low Skill, Low Pay, even if you have Muh Education.]

monday sept 30 or so

So you know The Right Way to answer every interview question. good. So make sure you have an EXAMPLE for EVERY SINGLE ONE of those questions. Because you can answer the question, then the Employer will bounce right back with “GIVE ME AN EXAMPLE” and then you fire right back with it…….even if it is a Huge Lie, or a Small Exagerration or Fiction. Hopefully you won’t have to lie TOO much, but as I’ve said before, it IS okay to Lie A Little, like on those Example Stories where they can’t POSSIBLY check you on it.

If they CAN check you on it, simple, just don’t lie about it!

Become Comfortable with Socially Interacting with People You Hate, and Who Annoy You. Just become the Friendly Interviewer. Pretend you are doing a documentary, or Going Undercover to Get Intel. Get them talking and keep them talking by asking the Keep Em Talking type questions, getting the annoying person to talk about their annoying life. More often than not, you will come to hate them less, and, more importantly, they will come to LOVE you, meaning they will DO STUFF for you, specifically, hook you up with 18yoqts, or hook you up with upper working class fulltime employment, chief at the top of the list. Plus Humans are Social Animals, and you will feel better socializing. Just don’t let yourself be swayed by them if they have an Opposite Morality than you, or they are total degenerates. Don’t put yourself in Harm’s Way, is what I’m saying.

Like don’t make an effort if they are blatantly involved in criminal or violent or risky behavior or drugs or drinking too much!!!

I’m talking more about Average Annoying Extraverted Normalfags whose biggest flaw is they talk too loud about stupid sh1t, not sociopaths whose biggest flaw is they kill and rape and rob and steal and have absolutely no morality. What I’m saying is Extraverted Normalfags are more often than not Decent People once you get to know them.

Try to be engaged in conversation…..one hour a day? is that too much for a Working Person? Prob.

Might make the caveat here, that Customer Service related Talk for your Job and your Customers does not really count here. But if you are making Friendly Small talk with your Customers, yes, that would count. That is good practice.

So muh delicious ice cream has High Fructose Corn Syrup innit. Muh Mt Dew Code Red has HFCS innit. Muh Fruity Starburst Flave-Redz Candiez have HFCS. Is it REALLY that hard just to put plain olde SUGAR in junk food? you HAVE to make Junk Food even moar Junkier?

How much “healthier” is Sugar over Corn Syrup?

If you don’t want to get an Engineering Degree, It’s PROBABLY still a good bet At The Unholy Casino to get a Healthcare related degree, Specifically Nursing BSN, Physician Assistant, or Physical Therapy. Note: Associates Degrees in these majors are absoluetly USELESS as a Sociology Degree. You have to get bachelors at LEAST.

Putting the M in STEM amirite??? Don’t forget about the M in STEM!!

Go to the Poker Room at least Once Per Week and sit down with Five Hundred Dollars. Try to Win and Not Lose Money. If you leave with 520 dollars, you are a Huge Winner. Keep a Spreadsheet so you know EXACTLY how much you’ve won and lost over your entire lifetime Gambling career. Winning a huge 100k jackpot is worthless if you’ve lost 200k over the past 20 years. there’s gotta be programs out there that simplify this, but I’m sure you could just do it with a simple spreadsheet. Start keeping track EARLY, like as SOON as you decide you’re Serious About Gambling.

http://www.careerinfonet.org/oview2.asp?next=oview2&Level=Overall&optstatus=&jobfam=&id=1&nodeid=4&soccode=&stfips=00&ShowAll=

but see I don’t even know if Checking The Stats Helps, cuz I don’t Trust the Stats. This makes it look like “Postsecondary teachers” as well as “elementary teachers” are actually good Choices, although I can assure you. I have a huge suspicious most Postsecondary Teaching openings are Part Time Adjunct Instructor Jobs that do not provide ANY Degree ROI; and there are plenty of people with Teaching Bachelor Degrees that the best they can get is Part Time Sub Jobs. I wish the Job Openings Stats took into account FULL TIME jobs, in other words. Because I suspect at least 40%, if not way more, of these Most Job Openings, are part time crap jobs.

tues oct 1 746 am

had a very erotic dream last night. b4nged at least 4 or 5 girls. it was great. it was really raunchy and decadent and degenerate, I was just grabbing 18yoqts and being VERY dominant, gimme a bj, bend over, now do it like this, lets double check how deep my D is innit, etc, ok next, slam bam thank ya maam. Dominant and a bit ungentle, but not hateful or abusive really. they all enjoyed themselves, or at least they easily Bent Over with no complaint or Refusal, and I just went to town on 5 different girls. It was great. I enjoyed myself by Satisfying my Raging Lust for Young QTs. You! Sit on muh face! You! Sit on muh D! And they did.

mon nite successfully went to bed at 8pm, immediately after jeopardy, and was ABSOLUETLY asleep before 9 pm, thus giving me a SOLID 8 hours of sleep, which is very ideal. So that was good. felt a bit better tues morn than mon, when I had stayed up super late on sun watching breaking bad finale, talking bad, etc, and got more like 5 hours of sleep.

note to self/others, protip: Don’t F around here, go to BED immediately after jeopardy, at 8 pm, don’t stay up till 9 or 10 to finish a MOVIE. which I sorta did last week, bc I was bound and determined to “get the most” out of muh netflix and watch 4 movies per week.

I like podcasts, and I like movies. It only took me 9000000 years to realize, duh, look for some podcasts where they talk about movies. Lesson4U: look for podcasts on things that interest you, be it sports or food or math or science. Note: One of my other big interests is Society and Politics and I have listened to many podcasts on that. But that’s real dismal stuff. Movies are more Pure Fun because they’re not all about how the worlds going to hell in a handbasket.

those godforsaken job statistics. If I were an 18yo College Cultist, looking at Job Stats like I SHOULD be, then I might be led to believe being a Teacher Is A Good Career Choice, when in 2013, it’s a godawful career choice. I mean you gotta be a REAL Tryhard Top 1% Teaching Student to get a FT Teaching Job. If you’re just an Average College Student, you’ll just get a Part Time Job, Subbing, and have to go back to the Unholy Casino for your masters, and see if THAT gets you a fulltime job. And just like Everyone’s Going To College in 2013, Everyone’s ALSO going to Grad Skool. Except me, hahahahaha. I stubbornly REFUSE to TRY that hard.

a good test to tell if you’re Really Lustful for a Woman, along with The Boner Test and the Hnnng Or Hrrrmmm test: would you rather b4ng the woman in question, OR would you rather bang a really cute 18yo Transexual “Trap” girl with a Dick? I have seen a couple of those where they honestly looked like Teen Girls, except they had a D. It was almost like they were Girls Born With A D, than Born Guys trying to look like Girls. Makes you think of Medical Mysteries, and that very possibly there are Girls BORN with a D, and some of them turn out otherwise cute.

Am I saying I want to Bang Girls With A D? Nope not saying that.

Saying it another way: if the girl you’re lusting after, going boioioioing and hnnnnggggg, would you STILL lust after her if SHE had a D? If yes, then yes your lust is Real and Serious.

One More Great Life Tip: So you’re Butthurt that you’re 35 and it’s not Age Appropriate for you to Lust After 18yo’s. (Well, yes, it is.) But you know that 18yoqt’s find that SO CREEPY, and so do normalfags, that you have a VERY low chance of ever pulling an actual 18yoqt and that makes you so mad and sad!

WELL, THE GOOD NEWS IS, it is ABSOLUTELY appropriately for you to Go Sarging for 21 YO QTs, and it’s WORLDS less “CREEPY” for a 21 year old to be “Dating” a 35 year old man, even though there’s not really a huge difference between 18 and 21, other than the 18 yo is a BIT cuter and prob has a lower Number.

Point Is, 21 year olds are a more than acceptable substitute for 18 yos, which is great news for you as you get older and older. Thinking about this fact last night gave me considerable comfort and peace.

wed oct 2 736am

All Resumes Are, Are Stupid MARKETING.

Veteran Unemployment? Veterans need extra help “translating the useful skills they already have into their res/CV?” Veterans can’t get jobs because their RESUMES are bad? WTF. STFU, Moron. What An Idiot!

Got netflix movie and fought the temptation and went to bed again right after jeopardy, at 8 pm, for second day in row. Best Decision. SKIP THE MOVIE, GET MOAR SLEEP. Who cares if you’re wasting your $13 a month for netflix and only watch 2 or 3 movies a week instead of 4. DO IT.

Supposedly you can genlty tap some sort of pressure point or chakra on your head and it relieves Stress. It’s either near the temple on your head, or a little patch of skin under your earlobe, just under your jaw, up on your neck. Heh. saw some ridiculous movie where this guy kept doing this, but I guess it might work. anythign to relieve stress! (Aside from drugs).

Ok back to those employment points above. wanted to remember those.

At least once a month I see something on the tv news about veterans unemployment, and how vets supposed have so much of a harder time than civvies to get jobs. I have to wonder if we’re being lied to by the media and by Fedgov Statistics Departments. Common sense tells me that veterans come Pre-Loaded with tons of Skills and Value-Adds that normal civvies do not, and if anything, they would have an Advantage that borders on Unfair!

But they’re not getting HIRED because their RESUME isn’t good enough, is what I’m hearing.

Like what? Godawful Spelling and grammar mistakes that The Average High Schooler should not be making?

Or perfectly acceptable Average High Schooler caliber grammar etc but…b-but….it’s just not the Magical Top Resume, or it’s “Boring” or doesn’t “stand out.”

Heh. Kinda like my own (civilian) resume.

So I think, what’s wrong here. Either:

* Employers need to wise up and realize that Veterans are pre-loaded with skill and value

* We’re not being told the full story, and employers are compelled to hire less qualified workers over more qualified workers

* Veterans are not as Capable as I think they are, and are Just Big Unemployable Lazy Losers

* The Military does not prepare veterans for How To Write A Civilian Resume when you’re looking for a Civilian Job?

The whole f00king thing just sounds fishy as f00k to me, so I can’t possibly take the news story at face value.

Unless All Veterans are PTSD-addled Alcoholics and Drug Addicts, or Scum Of The Earth that joined the Army as a last resort to stay out of jail. BUT I thought it was actually kinda HARD to get into the military these days. Like they try to screen out complete losers like that. And then they train the person to be responsible enough to do a damn entry-level JOB, Chrissakes.

Do the vets not have Technical Skills for Today’s Knowledge Jobs, just because they don’t have a College Degree??

Like the Women who outdegree men and so thus get more of the Degree-Required Jobs than men do? Like Stupid jerkoff Human Resources and Makework, Chit Chatting At The Office Jobs?

Or is that just Muh Misogyny showing, and women are actually getting sh1tloads of STEM degrees and STEM jobs? That I KNOW is not a fact.

OK But I do kknow lots of women do the M in STEM, or at least some kind of health care related job, and All Health Care is Growing In Jobs……….But see my Job Openings Skepticism, and What If most of those Health Care Jobs are the sh1ttiest and part time ones: home health aide, medical assistant, receptionist, etc.

The NewsMedia And The Fedgov Are Not Telling The Whole Truth About College And Jobs. Don’t Believe What You Read or See.

And Add To This My Surprising Faith In The Intelligence and Capability Of The Average Human Being To Learn Most Jobs With On The Job Training. Or, in the Cases of Medical Technicians, A F00king Associates Degree Or Less. And I Believe That These Associates Degrees could simply be Translated into Paid, On-The-Job Apprenticeship Training Programs. So you just get paid less when you’re Training, maybe. Shouldn’t have to spend sh1tloads of your money or taxpayer money on 60 credits or god forbid 120 credits.

College Career CULT.. I am the Atheist, I am the Apostate, the Heretic, I will Bring It Down. Jesus Christ, Kids These Days should believe in something Real, like the Religion of Jesus Christ!! Sh1T! The College Career Cult IS a Religion, just a real destructive, bad, sh1tty religion that doesn’t come out and say it’s a religion.

So Go To Trade School. I really should just sign up for Trade School myself. Walk The Talk Already. I might. It’s mainly my own laziness I’m fighting.

Anyway. to my second point:  Resumes Are Just Marketing, and, like All Marketing, they’re nothing but stupid gay buzzwords. (So because Veterans don’t know the stupid gay buzzwords, they don’t get jobs than any moron can do. TRUTH.)

thurs oct 3 742 am

muh writing time for 10 minutes or so. hope i’m not getting KEYLOGGED!!!! prob am. well, I luv muh employer and do a Darn Good Job if I say so muhself, toot toot. toot suite.

really frustrated by this fact that you just don’t know where to find reliable facts on jobs. the top one that comes to mind is the BLS with their Jobs Report every month, which is always a News Item. BUT BLS is BS. because it counts crappy minimum wage part time jobs as Job Openings, just the same as a 40 hour a week cushy union job is One Job Opening. They should count them as like .5 or .4  Job Opening. So now instead of 1 million Job Openings, you have 500,000 Job Openings. See how that works?

A 5 hour a week “job” would be a 1 / 8 Job, for example. Eight of those would count as ONE job, not EIGHT jobs.

Just got a bottle of “THROWBACK” Mt Dew, which contains Real Sugar and not HFCS. Excited to try it out. Some people love it, some people hate it, some people prefer the taste of HFCS and admit it, some people report not wanting to drink as much, which would be a good thing! Something about HFCS makes you crave more of it, like crack, whereas, you have a little Sugar, and your Sugar Craving goes away. Not bad.

*Protip: If you have to drink soda pop, drink THROWBACK pepsi products, or MExican/European Sodas, or Organic Sodas, or something that has Real Sugar as opposed to HFCS. You will drink less, and be less of a fat4ss.

Tried to do Muh Homework when I turned on Spotify and that sucked all my Productivity for the day. Didn’t even go for my Cherished Brisk Powerwalk, and it was a real nice day. because I wanted to do muh homework, watch jeop, go to bed. So just screwed around from like 1 pm to 7:30 pm, looking at stupid internet, finding music on spotify, trying to figure out what exactly i wanted to listen to, prob did no more than 2 hours of Actual Homework in there.

* Protip: Banish Spotify along with the List of Time Wasting Websites. Can’t even listen to Music. Unless you can pick something and LEAVE it.

* I was listening to Christian Religious Medieval Singing music by Hildegard von Bingen. VERY chill. VERY uplifting. VERY good for Homework and Anything, if I didn’t keep switching back to the spotify window.

* Resumes are marketing. Resume marketing buzzwords change like the weather: a little bit every day, and a lot every three months. If you are not Redically Rebuilding Your Resume from the Ground Up Every Three Months, keeping up with these GAY ephemeral Stupid Trends, fads, gimmicks, buzzwords, the you are unemployable. apparently.

* It’s like people who always NEED to have the latest clothes fashions. spring clothes and summer clothes and you have to buy a  whole new Wardrobe every 3 months. So if you’re a veteran using a resume that is so Summer 2013 and now it’s Fall 2013, Employers will be able to tell, and then throw your res in the trash because you don’t take enough initiative to keep up with Marketing News.

* So what is THE source for finding what is newest, most cutting edge Resume Style? like deployed is a banished buzzword, but get out ahead is a current good buzzword. before it goes bad. Or in October 2013, objectives are out. In November 2013 they will be back in. so who’s the resume authority. dunno. Looking for the Time Magazine of Human REsource Retards.

Lord God, Lamb Of God, You take away the sins of the world, have mercy on us, grant us peace.

So thursday is muh power day, muh party day, because friday is muh Off Day, so on thursday I let it all hang out. Also on thurs I do something every week that I get pretty nervous over, and can only truly relax after it’s done.

301 pm and starting to crash, but can’t relax till about 5pm. I could honestly eat some food then and just go to sleep for the night, not even stay up for jeopardy, forget jeopardy and a movie!!!

I could go for a big4ss nap right now! thankfully I do not have to take a Math Exam or MEdical Exam or perform a Surgery or be a Lawyer arguing in front of a judge and jury. Good God.

So you hate people, and you don’t give the greatest customer service all the time, it has its ups and downs, you definitely would not be cut out for a PURE, INTENSE Cust serv job like WAITER. So can you say on your Res that you are a Professional Cust Serve Expert who gives the world’s best CustServ? YES. YES YOU CAN. Because you can give 900000000 times better customer service than an autistic spaghetti pockets virgin neet who never served one customer in his life, even if you’re still awkwarder than a normalfag. so put your customer service excellence on your res in a way that meshes with whatever the current Resume Style is that month.

If you have to learn something HARD like Calculus 10 or COmputer Science 9 or ORganic Chemistry or Statics or PLastics, do some work to find a GOOD book to do so, beyond the textbook in the class, which may very well be a piece of sh1t, and your piece of sh1t instructor doesn’t CARE. (Note: prob not ALL textbooks are POSs, but some certainly are.) If the stuff involves lots of problems, then get a book that SHOWS you how to do all sorts of problems, and actually exmplains them step by step, rather than giving you some poorly explained formula, then gives you the problems and says have at. f00k u.

or get a bunch of dummies books. I am a big fan of dummies books, despite the insulting name.

friday oct 4 2013, 12 18 pm

hello world, jes doin muh weekly post.  i can write much better than this, i am just trying to get this out as fast as possible. and now once per week is as fast as i can.

again, ideally i would just be speaking, rambling off the top of my head, and releasing those as podcasts.

get yourself a little Olympus Notecorder, which is the modern day equivalent of the little olympus micro cassette recorders, which I actually used to have. the little annoying note to self things. and then as you walk around, talk all your great ideas into that thing. then upload them to youtube. instant blog.

on my party day thursday, I struggled to stay awake to 850pm, even watching tv was too much. lites out at 855 pm, and slept till like 10 50 am. day off. 14 hours of sleep. and it’s not like i’m sleep DEPRIVED either, like normalfags, who are so busy working and studying and familying that they get under 7 hours,under 6 hours, EVERY SINGLE NIGHT. If I get under 9 hours for 4 straight days, then I have to sleep FOURTEEN hours on muh day off to even begin to catch up. WTF????

just sharing. as an EXAMPLE of HYPERSOMNIA and how people’s sleep needs can be so different. not sure if this is normal for me, Or I am f00ked up, with major hypersomnia.  either way, feel bretty good now. don’t want to run errands though!
and today should try to do lights out by 930 pm, up for Werk tomorrow at like 630 am.

Drank the Throwback Mt Dew last night, Real Sugar, it actually did taste different, more “bittersweet”? I can def see how people can drink MORE of the HFCS. So maybe at a molecular level it’s no “worse” for you than sugar (or maybe it IS!!!), but IMHO the real danger is because people consume so much MORE of it. Quantity. With Sugar you drink 1 20 oz and you’re happy. With HFCS people happily drink a 2 liter per day and never stop and then die of diabetis.

What could be better than b4nging 21 yoqts? banging 18 yoqts and having a Upper Working Class Job and living in a safe, friendly neighborhood.

Heh heh. But seriously. banging 21yoqts is at least 90% as good as banging 18yoqts. Effectively just as good. With 21yo’s you don’t even NEED 18yo’s. GOOD ENOUGH.

Except 21yo’s will be much more indoctrinated into College Career Cult, and nag you more about all that. oh well. NEXT!

OK go for a brisk powerwalk, listen to something that stokes your intellectual curiosity, if you have a crappy textbook, go buy a dummies book on the subject, and also look on amazon for a thoughtful, game-changing, big picture type book by a “GURU” of the field, so you can see the real importance of why you’re learning this, and hopefully catch the intellectual curiosity bug from someone who has it in spades.

so some say the STEM crisis is a myth. There is a glut of STEM grads. perhaps more grads than jobs I’m sure. Some STEM grads do well and get a Middle Class Job, other stem grads do just as poorly as Nonstem grads, and because huge neet loser virgins. Lesson: Don’t even go to College for STEM, just f00k college, f00k the UNHOLY CASINO, and go to TRADE SKOOL so you can MAKE MONEY. MONEY IS POWER.

So you have Resumes and You have Cover Letters. You also have the EMAIL you send which acts as a Pre-Cover Letter, which may have attachments of a Cover Letter and Resume. I was going to say you could also link to one of those Online Resumes just because it makes you stand out, and prob less than half of job seekers use an online resume. but upon reflection, really, what difference does it make if you click a link or click an attachment. well, anything to make you stand out. put a big f00king swastika on your resume, have that be your whole resume, hahahahahaha.

bethenny frankel is a disgusting degenerate.

destroy your TV!

try to spend time with winners, nice people, successful people, nice people, True Real Intellectuals. And again, it sweetens the deal if they are a genuinely nice person and not an 4sshole. If you have to pick one, pick Nice People. Not all Nice People are Losers, in fact, I would say over half of Super Nice people are Winners, or at least are Winning ENOUGH (ie have an Upper MIddle Class Job, or are well on their nondiscouraged way to getting one.) Spending time around them will uplift you out of your discouragement.

ok take care of yourselves and your families. spend more time with nice people, spend less time with idiots, annoyingfags, and degenerates. don’t be such a fedorafag that you refuse to go to church to find nice people. don’t listen to women too seriously, all they care about is TV and College Career Cult and Coolness and Cutesyness. Stupid. Go for a brisk powerwalk every day of your life.

heh haven’t had a real picture in a long time. this is supposed to be a gif, hope it animates. otherwise it will be pretty stupid. yep, yer gonna have to click on the picture to see the animation. stupid wordpress.

walt jr egg gif

18YOQTs, SUPPLY OF JOBS, CRIMEA RIVER, HNNGG HNNGG HNNGG

monday 8 26

WOW SUPER grumpy this monday morning. ending it all sounds like a REAL good idea. worst monday monring in recent memory. and no reason for it! other than the usual excuse of “being a loser.” wah wah crimea river.

tues

went to “bed” at 7pm.

still wanted another hour of sleep when woke up. super duper bad mood tuesday morning, but shook that off quicker than on monday. now 12pm and has been super busy past couple of hours. super busy. god almighty. but maybe i’m happier cuz it is my 8 hour day.

i see enough beautiful 18 year olds every day to know for a FACT that an Unlimited Supply and Variety of 18 year old Tail would DEFINITELY come close to Approximating True Love.

I would be very happy with one or the other. would not ask for both. wouldn’t need it. just one or the other. Actually, the neverending supply of Teen Tail might be BETTER. Its only downside is that it flirts with Immoral, Decadent filth; pornography. Flirts with, but does not have to be. Note that these girls don’t WANT commitment anyway. Good, cuz neither do I hahahaha.

wed 751 am

so. my “new” favorite thing is to lay face down on bed and LISTEN to tv because too much energy to prop head up on pillow and WATCH it, better transition to sleeptime. did that at 6:30 pm spongebob, all lights out at 7 pm, got some fairly decent sleep, an erotic dream that was kinda fun. just a random girl. a big4ss white trash slut. nasty but tolerable. better than a known entity.

major lesson: do Lights Out at Seven Pm For Best Results.

still took powerwalk, that was good.

REALLY gotta buy new clothes soon.

saw an 18 year old tiny blond girl wearing the tightest pants possible. she was TINY and YOUNG, very young looking, and usually don’t go for girls so small, but her youngness sealed the deal, it was almost like A Whole New Gender, hehehehe.

Does it REALLY need to be SO competitive to get into the Physical Therapy or Occupational Therapy Program? Yeah, it’s a better field than Sociology, but I don’t think it’s even in Top 10 of Job Openings, or something else to merit rejecting a SOLID 80% of Applicants. THAT’s how Competitive it is. 80% of people who WANT to get in DON’T. Why do they WANT to get in? I don’t see a HUGE GLUT of PT jobs to justify such a ridiculous demand.

Heh. So I’m wondering how a person decides on Physical Therapy for an Education and Career choice. You can’t just WALTZ into the job, AND you can’t just WALTZ into the EDUCATION, and believe me, you can get MASTERS and DOCTORATE in PT. Sh1t to get an entry level job you need a Bachelors degree.

Unless my local Nonprestigious College happens to have a Very Prestigious PT program, I dunno.

But this points to my larger point, that 30 years ago, you didn’t have to TRY to find a Entry Level Full Time Job, you just needed a PULSE. Now you can spend your whole LIFE going to COLLEGE and switching majors and getting useless degrees and NEVER get an Entry Level Full Time Job, because your CV wasn’t remarkable enough, your GPA not high enough, not enough extracurriculars, too many GAPS, too old, you don’t interview well; forget just having a pulse and showing up to work every day on time!

But then there’s people who Say that finding a Full Time job in North Dakota is EASY because ND has the lowest unemployment and the boomingest economy. I certainly think abotu it every day!!!

So i guess you’re “supposed” to spend your teens and early twenties wanting to Bang everything that moves, then in your later twenties, you’re supposed to develop more Lasting, Mature Relships, with an Eye to someone you want to Spend Your Life With. Heh. I had it ass backwards. When I was young, I wanted a Monogamous Loving Waifu. Fell In True Waifu Luv 7 times. Now I am old, and just want to B 18 year olds! NOT Sadistically, NOT hurting or hating anyone, But Sort of Decadently. I want to bang at least 100 18 year old girls in my life. If you get tired of one, move on to the next. Simple, easy, effective, perfect. Fundamental Ontology. Priorities in Life.

thurs 8 29 13 9:39am

did my “long day” yesterday. When I took Hard Class, I would have at least 2 “Long Days” per week. They are good for Feeling Productive, but much moreso if you are actually doing Paid Work, compared to Free Work or Paying For Skool.

Had another semi erotic dream. In this one I was making out with a Very Cute Young girl. You know the girl is very CUTE and young, if you actually enjoy making out with her before plowing her, hahahaha.

these the Attitudes that Normally, naturally Form when you never manage to pull from QTs, and then you say, well I don’t wanna bang non-QTs, so I’m gonna be a kissless virgin wizard all throughout my 20s!!!

Heh, you’d think I’d be more willing to Lower My Standards, especially considering I’m old, fat, bald, loser, underemployed, costanza. When I was actually YOUNG, I was a lot more Physically Attractive and could actually Pull QTs, and I wasted that by not pulling a LOT of QT action, but Far Less Than A Bare Minimum, which is still Far More than Wizards Pull, so, I’m grateful for that, hahahahaha.

But yeah you see some 18 year old student with nice skin and a tight bum and bright eyes and perky bazooms and you think, yep you can sit on my face, you can sit on my face, yep you too, I wouldn’t mind that, lemme clear off a place so you can sit on my face, etc etc, 90000000 times a day. THAT’s pretty overwhelming, and why Men and Prime Of Youth Women should be kept separated, because it’s very distracting and overwhelming!

From ages 18 to 25, Women should be Locked Away in Women-World, and not let out until they’re safely MARRIED.

Heh. Funny how “you” want 18 year old QT Younggirls to Sit on “Your” Face, but not really so much Thirty Year Old Women or Older!!! Then you think, UM NO. EW. GROSS. But 18 year olds? ALL DAY. SIT ON MY FACE ALL DAY. Now THAT’s True Heterosexual Attraction!!!

It’s analogous to the making out. The older the get, the less you want to make out with OR have them sit on your face.

Disclaimer: While it is natural and normal for Most Men to have a Preference for Younger Women in GENERAL, I have taken that to a whole new extreme. Exaggerrated, inflamed, inflammatory disease. Upped the contrast level. To an arguably Pathological, Detrimental level. So how do I train my Animal Brain to Tone it Down, to sand off the sharp edges? Dunno. Would probably be like trying to “cure” the gays with electric shocks. It’s as hard-wired as it gets. Just an extreme variation of natural behaviour.

Can you Curb the Anxiety of Constant Horniness by Beating Off To Porn? Probably a LITTLE bit. Like a 1% Purity of the Drug, when you’d like 100%. And By God, I’ve been lucky enough to experience something like 90%, back in the day. But Not Enough. But with stuff that powerful, can there ever BE enough???

Or can you say, “YEAH, I DID OK. Not Perfect, but OK. I’m not Hung Up over it or anything. I’m No Superman anyway. I’m Happy with what I Can Get.” Which would be the Mature Response.

Or you can be a big immature Adult Baby and say wah wah, I want 18 year old girls, nothing else. I want I want I want, gimme gimme gimme!

Really weird. The blend of Entitlement, but not being Confidence And Powerful enough to back up that entitlement.

So yeah. School’s In For The Year, and I saw more cute 18 year old girls I wanted to sit on my face, in the span of one hour, than I have in the past 3 months, then I think of How LoOoOoOoOng it’s been. MANY years. And even back then, it was just a small taste. Just to Whet the Appetite. The logical, sensible thing to do would be: go to a hooker, go hoggin, TAKE what you can GET, learn GAME and actually USE it to pull better quality.

So yeah anyway. When I come up with my “Rules” of Attraction, like does the girl make you go HNNNGG, or 18 or 22 or you’re done, or would you enjoy making out with her, would you enjoy Cunnilinguus, would you lick the sweat out of their 4ss on a hot day, because they are 18 years old etc, realize this is the product of a Diseased Mind, hahahaha. A Diseased Mind, AND Perpetually Horny, AND on a Many-Year Drought, AND sees 900000000 beautiful 18 yo QTs EVERY DAY. A Perfect Storm of Erotic Stress. This Biases, Prejudices my view, quite understandably!

Of COURSE there are MUCH more important things in life, like FAMILY and WORK and MORALITY and DISCIPLINE and AMBITION. They just don’t “FEEL” (hate the word feel!) as important when you are RARING TO GO!!!

How “Average” is the “Average Frustrated Chump,” or, in today’s parlance, Beta? Lesser Beta? Omega? A Self-Selected bunch of Woman-Haters who read and comment Woman-Hating GAME and Pick Up Artist blogs??? r9k neckbeard virgins who watch tons of p0rn? people who generally use the internet too much and don’t interact with Real People enough????

But the 18 YO QTs overstimulating me are definitely REAL!!

MOVIE REVIEW: yeah this is more of a joke, I will not do Serious Reviews of “Really Obscure” Art Movies any more, as that would Identify me. So I’ve been meaning to see “Insidious” since it first came out at theatre. Always looking for a good hore movie. kept pushing it back in the queue. FINALLY the time was right, by god I wanted to watch it. It wasn’t super good, wasn’t GREAT, but it was pretty good. Dialogue sucked, but the acting was good, some good scares, kept my attention till the final Act, which was going well, until BAM the disc crashed suddenly, no warning, no skips. Bam. Stop. Unable to read disc. This is about 10 minutes from the end of the movie, and I was still liking it. Hadn’t jumped shark. I was angry and frustrated. But I have been on a streak of Not Bad Movies lately. Real uncanny. wonder when the shoe is gonna drop there.

HNNNG. 18 year old shorthaired girl with GREAT 4SS in jeans. HNNGG!!!!!

Hnng is the new schwing, remember that scene in waynes world where garth is at some party or something having an actually normal conversation with people, but stops to say SCHWING every time a “hot babe” walks by, which is every 2 seconds, because waynes world just went hollywood or something. That’s me going HNNGGG every 2 seconds when a 18YOQT walks by who I want to make out with then sit on my face. GOD DAM RIDICULOUS.

ok gotta wrap this up. a great line I heard today, the day the fast food workers were gonna do their Strike for $15 an hour. I saw a bunch of Adult Students Going Back To College because That Is Sure To Get Them All Jobs, College Will Make The Unemployable Employable, College Will Create Jobs Where None Existed Before, College Is Magic, Companies will hire Adult Students from Low-Prestige Colleges over Young Students from High-Prestige Colleges, more excuses, etc, hehehehe, ANYWAY, this one loudmouth (woman) was complaining about The Audacity: “$15 an hour! COME ON! That is for SKILLED PROFESSIONALS! My HUSBAND doesn’t even make $15 an hour!!! And my Macdonalds was cold today!”

So I thought the whole situation was hilarious and sad. My opinion is quite moderate: maybe $12 would be more reasonable; or giving people Full Time Hours; and I acknowledge that Fast Food Work is Harder and Much More Stressful than Average People realize.

But it’s her fault for marrying a loser who couldn’t provide, hahahahaha.  Maybe he needs to go to college for physical therapy and maybe, just maybe, if he gets a 3.99999 GPA and performs better than 80% of his class, then he might get a $15 an hour job.  But still everybody has to take out a 50k loan and gamble at the casino anyway.

but again I have a really distorted view of reality, so don’t listen to me. I used to think I lived in an “anti-intellectual” or anti-collegefag area, where only rich soft boy scout faggots go to COLLEGE, but this was inaccurate; its more like EVERYONE goes to college, because they can’t find jobs otherwise, or they’re laid off and are getting Taxpayer Dollars to go to college, so I really can’t blame them for doing so.

The Media says there are Technical Jobs waiting Unfilled because there’s no one to fill them, no one with the proper training and skill set; but I don’t really believe that, because everyone from age 18 to 80 is In College, College is the “New” High School, not like that is anything NEW!!! Except High School you don’t have to take out an Unforgivable Mortgage to go to!

Heh heh yeah I have a Fatally, Pathologically Bad Attitude.

My Homework To Do List For YOU (and me):

http://bls.gov/ooh/occupation-finder.htm?pay=&education=&training=&newjobs=50%2C000+or+more&growth=&submit=GO

So here is a list of 94 Jobs from Outlook Occupational Handbook of BLS. This is really the best way I know to find out this information, there are prob better ways!  I want to know the SUPPLY OF JOBS. NUMBER of JOB OPENINGS. It Stands To Reason that it should be EASIEST to GET a job, where there are the most openings. They won’t turn away losers who didn’t go to harvard, or who have Average College Extracurriculars, in other words!

Teach Your Children to go for one of those 94 jobs. I’m thinking Long Term, a Slow But Steady Growth Rate is better than a 20% growth rate over 2010-2020, right???? cuz what if it takes a nosedive after that. or what if it doesn’t.

http://bls.gov/ooh/occupation-finder.htm?pay=&education=&training=&newjobs=50%2C000+or+more&growth=&submit=GO

Physical Therapists and Software Developers, hahahahaha.

Anyhow. hehehe. I never said Physical Therapy was a BAD field!

Heh. I wish Banging 18YOQTs was a Job, and on there!

Wow. How do you FIX a Fundamentally, Deep-Seated BAD Attitude? Eradicating thoughts like the above from your mind??

Ok, I wish Banging 18YOQTs was not a job, and was not on there. That would be a stupid job. And 30 year olds are hotter than 18 year olds. hehehehe. more age appropriate.

“But that’s such a Stupid Euphemism, Age Appropriate!!”

Heh. It really kind of is.

No It Isn’t.

I will Be Age Appropriate And Go To College For A Physical Therapist or Software Developer Job.

your homework:

go to a Cheapo Department Store and buy some “Nice” clothes that you could ostensibly wear to a $15 an hour job.

Don’t Beat Yourself Up if you have the occasional Racist or Sexist Thought. Sometimes Stereotypes get invented for a reason.

Get NINE hours of sleep a night. Dr Ilardi says Paleo Man got about NINE hours of sleep a night. Dr Ilardi KNOWS!!!

If you have an Extreme Obsession with 18YOQTs, tell yourself, this is a gross exagerration of normal desires, Please God Release Me From This Living Hell.

Either throw out the objective on your resume, or change it drastically. rather than say, i want to work for this kind of company, say I want to apply my demonstrated skills of increasing revenue in Physical Therapy to This Company in the Physical Therapy field. I don’t f00king know, all that sh1t’s gay. Just make your objective SHORT and EXACT as f00k because you gotta beat out 100 other people for this one job, and some of them will be from harvard, hahahaha. f00king sh1tstains.