sat aug 12



saw this super qt young blond gurl i have seen about 3 to 4 times at public social event. i noticed her the first time i saw her, where she was sitting pretty near to us, and i was like wow that girl is super qt, but i think average guys would say meh she is ok but no big deal, maybe 6/10 hahahaha. a little Mousey.

i guess MOUSEY IS MY TYPE hahahahahahaha.

this is really the first time where i was like wow i SHOULD go talk to that woman and try to Ask Her Out On A Date hehehehe. the worst she can say is no.

but i would be 100% satisfied with her qt body and if she had a decent personality, WHICH IS NOT HARD TO DO, JUST BE NICE AND MAKE AN EFFORT NOT TO BE AN OBNOXIOUS BITCH, then I could see myself TOTALLY getting over and forgetting about That Woman. This Woman has the potential to replace and erase That Woman completely. would probably be an improvement if she’s not a mudshark and tries to not give silent treatment.

main qualm is that i have nothing to talk about and i am OLD and an omega male with several years of huge setbacks on muh career. she is maybe 8 to 10 years younger than me, and probably on the Average Path to a Middle Class Career. University, graduate at 21, get a decent entry level 30k job at 21, get a promotion and/or a grad degree by age 25, etc. what do you say to normie winners like this? what do you say when you have WEIRD INTERESTS that you cant talk about with normies, like jooish subversion of our culture, the future of huhwhyte people, plus women shouldnt be talking about political stuff anyway.

well ok i guess i could keep the conversation on the Common Interest we clearly have, and talk about careers in general, or her career, minimize talk about my career. talk about morality in broad general terms, like do no harm and dont treat people like shit, and Tinder Dating Culture is Gross, i hope you’re not into that. no i dont just want to “FOOK” you, I WANT to put in the due diligence and dating and extreme vetting in order to get to that point, and i dont WANT you to fook guys right away anyway. i mean you SHOULD be taking at least 6 months anyway.

the other thing is she really does look kinda YOUNG. i dont have a problem with that…..but ALL OF SOCIETY DOES, so she would be getting a lot of pressure, and prob a lot of her own personal preference to not date an old loser creeper, find a nice boy at college closer to her own age who didnt screw up so much in life, has a good career.

ideally, i would have talked to her that VERY FIRST DAY i noticed her and ASked Her Out On A Date then. now I’m THINKING about her and ALREADY building up a stupid FANTASY.

but you CAN tell something just by looking at people. not everything, but still some meaningful stuff. some poeple just LOOK LIKE dirty mudshark sluts. some women look young and innocent and nerdy and mousey, like they havent been with 100000 guys.

sure, some sluts can look innocent, especially the young cute ones, but they can’t hide that slutty c0khungry gaze forever. cold, dead, black eyes, like a dolls eyes hahahaha. damn disgusting sex addicts hahahahaha.

sex is very important and im very interested in it…..but i put it in a proper perspective! and realize it is in service of something even MORE important!!!!!!!

women might not UNDERSTAND this, but they dont NEED to, they just NEED to not be a slut. when something they cant understand is just in their bones and says no, i dont want to BEHAVE like a dirty slut, even if my peers do, even if tinder encourages it. im just not wired that way. nope. its gross. it doesnt feeeeeeeeeeeeeeeel right. im not that kind of gurl. if some guy is a player pushing for secs, i dump him. i want to really get to know a guy first and i dont have secs unless we are In A Relationship.

DING DING DING WE HAVE A WINNER that is the correct answer. she doesn’t need to do on some bitter diatribe like you do about degeneracy and sin and the sanctity of human life and da joos and a culture of disposability and bla bla bla. you can gently push her towards that and then after 6 months of dating she can be a raging antijooish crusader with you hahahaha.

so what my plan hahahaha. take a shower next time i go, so i dont stink like a person who hasnt taken a shower in 3 days hahahahaha. dont talk about jooish degeneracy, dont say ive been staring at you the past 4 weeks, dont say im a neet omega 35 year old virgin who makes 13k a year. just emphasize the positives. say i am a nice person and a good person and want to meet a nice woman who is Compatible with me. I dont go in for Tinder Culture and you like to play this game i like to play and frankly you are kinda QT. For me. i dunno most other guys would think you are a 6.8 hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha like that neg?

but 6.8 is my 10 hahahaha. shit 6.8 is out of my league, im a 6 at best!

got first paycheck in 17 months hahahahaha. feels pretty good. someone who makes 13k a year should not be paying out 18% in taxes…..but really its only 9% in taxes and 9% in DEDUCTIONS like state pension / health care. which doesnt really benefit me at all. and social security hehehe. i have tried to minimize my state and fed income tax byt claiming allowance, or exemptions on the w4, which i never do, but now i am, because i would rather the money made .0000001% jooish interest for me, rather than go to uncle shmuley.

like to cut back on the coffee here hehehehe. i literally drink coffee all day, over a pot of coffee a day. it doesnt even have an effect on me any more. which is good as regards muh sensitive stomach, but uhhhh i would like to be more awake and alert and energized!!!!!

having a qt mousey 6.8, less than 10 guys gf would prob help with that hahaha.

go to therapy weirdo. hahahaha. well if you make 26k a year and dont go mad and have serious emotional probs that stop you from making 26k a year, be thankful, and prepare to live a Life Without Women.  and go to therapy for at least 10 years, thousands and thousands of dollars, before you are minimally qualified to date a disgusting pigwoman hahahaha. that’s how low your market value is.

i just hate this lie women tell t hat women are not aliens, they are just like men. well, it’s really a JOO lie, the women don’t know its a lie, they are just repeating jooish trash, they dont need to know any better.

but yeah. when i was friends with women, i was like, this is pretty nice, see women arent these weirdass ALIENS, theyre PEOPLE just like you and me.

of course, i didn’t have any Romantic Interest in them. when i DID, then came the whole ALIEN thing.

no, women arent technically aliens……UNTIL you want to interact with them in an Heterosexual, Dating, Relship, Intimate capacity. THEN they are total aliens. and you have to Learn and Use GAME hahahahaha.


if youre just trying to be friends with women, you need no game whatsoever. you can be a neet omega virgin.

then shit gets ridiculous when you start getting more than friendly feelings for your female friend.

just because Our Past makes us the Awesome People we are now, doesn’t mean you can’t be deeply ashamed of the horrible, degenerate, disgusting, shameful things you did in your past!

it’s not the PAST per se that makes you who you are, its you LEARNING from the MISTAKES you made and WORKING to become a better person! doesnt mean you should be HAPPY about those mistakes!!!! you can say, yeah that SUCKED, i was shitty, and I never want to be shitty like that again! NOT i fooked 10000000 guys and im not ashamed at all, i chose you, so you better accept my past!

i’ll accept your past once you REPENT for it.


i will FORGIVE just about ANYTHING. my mercy and forgiveness is almost as infinite as GOD’S. but even GOD asks you to be REMORSEFUL for your sins. no you dont have to live in shame for years, but you DO have to realize what you did was WRONG, and genuinely, honestly be sorry for it, and willing to do a penance for it. Can you say this about your GF and her Slut Past? If not, be very afraid. because she’s not done with her slut past. its looking like a slut present and slut future. hell yeah you should judge, especially if she’s not going to!

im very judgmental of other people, but how about myself? EVEN MORE SO! you’re god damn right i am even MORE judgmental of myself!!!!!!!!!!!!!

woman wants to get revenge on her bf who legit betrayed her. i can totally understand revenge. but she wants to go too far for even a legit betrayal. like pushing the guy back into being a drinker, hurting his dying mother, even some say Ghosting is too much, Ghosting seriously fooks people up, don’t do it, its bad karma.

heh. my idea of revenge would be, just send all the noods and sex pictures they sent you, to their family members to show them what a slut they are. probably dont send the pictures to any family who is known to be super old, or dying, cancer, MS, etc. basically to mother and father, if they are not dying.

maybe plastering the noods all around her neighborhood. or sending them to her boss and colleagues. post on facebook wall.

or putting a bag of dog shit on their porch.

i mean i dont WANT revenge any more. i just want her to know what she did was WRONG, that it HURT me, and to be REMORSEFUL for it. also shes not a bad shitty person. so,more than likely, she DOES feel bad about it. well, that doesnt’ make me feel any better, because if she’s a good person, then i want to Be With Her!!!!!! and she is, and I do!

yeah well maybe this qt gurl at the game night is also a nice person. there are lots of good people out there. i tend to stay away from Bad People! that woman not a bad person, she was a pretty darn good person!

the people i associate with are good people! i would be hard pressed to name a single bad person that I actually know! if i get the intuition a person is a real piece of shit…..i stay away from them!

i mean i’ve know some Very Troubled people….but they are still Good people despite their flaws.

yet i WASTE all this time and energy THINKING about BAD people who don’t even really EXIST in my life!!!!!! these FICTIONAL degenerate sluts!

i mean they’re not strictly fiction….. but point is, iTS NOT WORF IT wasting time and energy thinking about this shit for more than 1 minute, unless i actually have a bad person or degen slut in my life giving me Issues!

so i waste a lot of time and energy, cause a lot of pain and anger, thinking about ABSTRACTIONS!!!!!! i mean these things really DO exist, but i tend to shun them in real life! even the sluts i’ve actually dealt with, i can’t say they were horrible people! just troubled and misguided!

heh. i was thinking about starting a Despair Forum where members pay x dollars and in return, they get a shrink or social worker who responds with expert advice every day, every thread. kind like Despair Forums only with an active team of experts who posted on all threads hahahaha.

maybe limited to men only.

i mean its sad. on /relships you see PLENTY of people with despair, or their gf or bf has issues with it, plenty of requests to Go To Therapy for Despair, yet if you look at /despair, its the shittiest sub ever. like, even shittier than /relships. for such a serious problem, it needs more serious discussion on reddit hahahahaha.


hehehe thats pretty funny

i guess this is a sign from GOD tellng me now is the time to become a sam hyde fan, sam is one of ussssssssss……

well i believe sam is a grad of RISD, ie a very top tier art skool, and he is prob butthurt because it didnt make him any money and he is 3000000000$ in debt now hahahahaha. well if THAT doesnt wake you up to the jooish college scam, nothing will. and there are THOUSANDS of college educated middle class shitlibs who are 50k in college debt and still LUV joos and blax and muslims and gays and cheating and abortions. at least sam has seen the light. id like him for him to seriously come out and say “I AM A HUHWHYTE NATIONALIST” but pretty sure he is anyway hahaha.

i just enjoy serious honest interviews more than “playing a character” for comedy. and of course you can be witty and funny in your serious interviews. shit i think he has done some normal talks, i just dont have the time to listen to his 6000000000000000000000000000000 vidyas hahahaha.  i mean i would like if the SPLC just did a report on him already, sam hyde is a WN racist terrorist hahahaha. i mean besides all the school shootings he did hahahahahaha. the fact he got his tv show on adult swim for even a month is insane.

i mean, i see attractive young women pretty regularly…..but rarely do i feel the urge that I SHOULD REALLY APPROACH THAT WOMAN. I will regret not approaching her.

when really i should be bold like a negro and approach every woman i find attractive, which, as i say, is a decent number. well, it wont be after all these 18-21 year old white gurls go back to ((((COLLEGE)))) hehehehe.

they dont need to understand how jooish it is. they just need to not DO THE JOO hahahaha. dont have tinder sex. dont treat people like garbage or objects. dont JOO people.

so GOD is calling me to talk to this gurl somehow. honestly the thing that concerns me most is that she looks really YOUNG. i dont have a problem with that, but the whole world does. if she is like 22 years old, yeah i risk looking like a real CREEPER in public. like why the hell am i interested in a CHILD hahahaha. yeah well fook that. shes a super qt gurl and i am a Single Man. in my heart i know its all right hahahaha. its not like she is 16 or even 18.

besides when i first became friends with that woman, she was 22 hahahahahaha. a CHILD.

really trying to improve my Mint system, and i have. trying to eliminate vague categories like “groceries” or “shopping.” because it had automatically moved stuff from the local supermarket or amazon or paypal or target into one of these categories when something like “clothing” is much more descriptive and useful. shoes, gratitude for fam, coffee, food, etc. books.

heh. i could make up a little business card with a link a Dating Website that i could give to that young woman for her to learn more about me than i can give in a 30 second elevator speech hahahaha. a nontinder nondating website profile hahaha. a general social website. like facebook. but not because i am not on facebook hahahaha. because i am creepy about womenhahahaha.

basically women on Dating Sites go on a lot of Dates, even on the rare chance they are not having lots of gross slutty secs with a lot of sleazy dudes. at the very least, they are going on lots of DATES and sitting through HOURS of guys trying to entertain or interest or impress them. that is a lot of competition. you have to be more interesting than all these guys. guys who have had a LOT more dating and women experience than you. you think, jeez, i wish there were some OTHER way to meet women, i just dont want to meet the types of women who use dating sites. therefore, you have to find women in the Wild who dont look like dating site sluts, and approach them. realizing they could very well still use dating sites and be huge sluts even if they dont LOOK like it hahahahahaha. like That Woman. did not look like a mudshark or a dating site woman, but she was a mudshark and on okcupid and probably tinder.

in her defense, she wasn’t all in on any of those things. she had just dipped the toe in. she could have EASILY turned back. being a decent person, she probably did, and married a nice white boy, gave him many children, and they lived very happily ever after.

heh i have known about devlin for YEARS, ever since bernard talked about him YEARS ago. little did i know that devlin was proto-alt-right! but yeah i should buy devlins books already. great guy with great perspective on WOMEN. not sure if he has great advice for normal men to find decent women. wish he would talk more about that. maybe he does in this interview. good that he says yes to appearing on a TRS podcast.

took benedryl.

that feel when you have been using your gf as an “emotional beast of burden” without being aware, and she resents you for it, and says youre very immature and need lots of therapy, but in reality you’re well within your rights, and she should be your beast of burden in this situation by just giving you some comfort when your parent is dying and you are sad. but now you are immature and need therapy.

thankfully reddit agreed that the gf was being rdiculous and immature and he didnt’ necess need therapy just because he vented at her once and was a BUZZKILL at that time.

hehehe i have had severe derpression for almost half muh life and i would never think of doing this to a person, giving them a bullshit ultimatum like that! a guy who would act like this could never get a gf in the first place!

thankfully reddit gave good advice. they DO give good advice 50% of the time!

woman ghosted  by man. i took it alot worse than this hahahaha.

good god. making good money at age 24 AND getting a full ride scholarship and hes not even finished with uni? getting a total POS for a gf when he DESERVES a nice white waifu.

smokin MJ and listen to saor, fuath….and gris again hahahahaha.




well i now like using earplugs to sleep at night even though shit isnt very loud, i am just that sensitive to every little sound, that i prefer the sense of all sounds being blocked out by the earplugs. the problem is i wonder how safe it is to the ears, and the ears can sometimes feel a little sore in the morning, possib from the pressure of these foam things in your ears.

google ear pain from sleeping with earplugs

anyway lemme write about this stupid dream quickly

yes it was THAT WOMAN. i was hanging out with her AND another woman. i was glad i was being given a chance but she still seemed a little mad or annoyed at me. the other woman was trying to womansplain what i could have done better: “youve really got to make an effort to communicate you feelings to her and what you’re feeling at every step of the way, rather than keep it bottled up or hidden or not talk about it.”

i wanted to say “THATS WHY I WAS TRYING TO DO, but SHE wasnt willing! SHE never wanted to LISTEN to me!” because that might make her more mad at me.

i just said “yes, i agree with you completely. great advice. i’ll do that. i just want to have a good rel with her.”

AND THEN BOOM she, that woman, was naked and i caught a glimpse of her YOU KNOW WHAT on top of me and i was like o god its happening right now, didnt expect that so soon, didnt think she was that kind of gurl, well this complicates things a little but id be a fool to say no to this. plus its not like i dont want this at all! she threw me a string of condos that were all attached to eachother like a roll of scratch off lottery tickets. the condos were TINY, or looked tiny from the package. i thought, well, i’m no tyrone, but this is a little insulting. i also saw the expiration date was 2012. i thought maybe she is trying to get pregnant. maybe i could rationalize to myself her getting an ABORTION, maybe im a monstrous murderer. well cross that bridge if we come to it. i would be a fool to turn this down. i havent had secs in 10 years. and i luv this gurl. this may strengthen our bond, make her luv me moar. just fookin DO IT.

so i put one on, it wasnt too small, she went to the bathroom and thats i remember of that “scene.” its possible we never actually had secs. she was still a little bit cool and distant, as if to guilt trip me, like i dont really LIKE this or you, i’m just gonna do this to get you to stop being so damn annoying. when i would have been happier with her happily cuddling, rather than her begrudgingly having secs! i wanted her to feel close to me, and be happy with me, and show me luv.

then shortly after i saw her with this black guy and she was visibily overjoyed, so happy to see him, holding his hand, fawning over him, staring and smiling at him, and i was like, THATS what i want from her. and she’s got it for this black guy but not me.  (muh racial cuckold nightmare hahahaha)

he was a lighter skinned black guy and had a “jamaican reggae laid back” feel about him rather than “chimping out thug groid.” he was tall and strong chest and shoulders and light skinned and fairly handsome, dreadlocks, kinda looked like a more masculine/bigger bob marley, who i think was half white btw.

i guess he left and i went up to her and was like, uhhhh whats going on with that guy, you were just having secs with me yesterday

and she immediately got annoyed and eye rolling, ughhhhhh, what youre gonna get JEALOUS? i cant see other people? hes a great guy, i really like him, i can do what i want, you dont own me.

and i was just confused and frustrated and jealous. i just wanted her to treat me like she treated him. just be kind and loving to me, not hateful and contemptuous. i dont really CARE about you having secs with me, we can get to that later. and yes i AM bothered by you “dating” several people. ie having secs with several guys at once. with expired condos hahahaha.

and that was the main point of the dream.

there was a “side story” in that we were all hanging out in a house/apartment where we were essentially breaking and entering. into a policemans house while he was out At Work. and i was like really? why are we doing this. you are literally ASKING to be arrested and go to jail for a felony. ultimately i said enough is enough and i left and then started to run. i sensed the 5-0 was gonna show up soon. and indeed very soon i saw a Party Wagon and i slowed down as if i was doing nothing wrong. as soon as i got out of sight of it, i started running again. i thought, these stupid idiots. breaking into peoples houses just to have a place to hang out, and just by BEING there you are doing a felony. is this supposed to be SEXY to impress WOMEN?

i was disturbed she was giving out secs so easily. was that just what was normal nowadays? didnt she realize the risks of this? and she shouldnt give it out willy nilly to multiple guys at once, especially to guys she doesnt really like? like me? she was just begrudgingly trying to appease me. and i didnt want begrudging appeasement. just Show Me Love hahahahaha PLEASE!!!!!

PLEASE SHOW ME LUV!!!!!!!! dont hate me! im not abusing you or being unloving to you! my only crime is being a weak beta and PUTTING UP with this bullshit! which, in womens eyes, is worse than raep hahahaha.

if i begged her for an apology, i might feel ok soon after, but then id be like, wait, that WASNT GOOD ENOUGH. what good is a FORCED APOLOGY. she has to really know what she did was wrong and truly apologize for it. i would be left STILL WANTING a REAL apology, and i would not get it.

really i want her to understand and admit and realize that what she did was WRONG. and apologize to me for it.

oh she may realize it but be too SCARED to apologize to me, because…….because its been so long. too long. and if i contact her saying uhhhhhhhh i still am open to an apology, it would SCARE her and convince her i was the bad guy.

i have to TAKE THE HIGH GROUND. by doing NOTHING. theres nothing i CAN do. if i contact her then i look like the creepy bad guy who cant move on, further convincing her that she did nothing wrong. as she gives her uterus and luv away cheaply hahahaha.

whats the root cause?

EVERYTHING can be explained by the following, in one combination or another:

she had a deadbeat father who more or less abandoned her.

her mother had mostly bad rels with men

therefore she doesnt trust men

and her chooser is broken so she picks bad men and ignores good men.

and she is a classic avoider. she avoids EVERYTHING.

and there ya go. doesnt make what she did RIGHT, but it more or less explains it. gives you the answer to WHY she did this. because shes terrible with men because of her mother and father hahahaha.

who knows if she was abused by one of her mothers boifrans? i will never know. i dont think she was. i have met the mother who seemed like a decent person despite sounding sketchy on paper. i dont think she would allow her children to be abused like some single mothers do hahahaha. she would be more likely to kick the man to the curb before that point.

but still the mother cant seem to have a decent rel with a decent man, so that certainly rubbed off on the children im sure. well then why was the daughter in such a long term rel? because she really luved the guy and was doing all the work. she was very willing and loving. shit i bet she is still getting over him even if she thinks she isnt.

but yeah i want to get to a point where i cant think about this any more. im done, im bored with thinking about it. i think it will happen some day but im not quite there yet. oh well. its good that i can say there will probably come a day in the future hahaha. TRUST THE PROCESS.

she has a sibling who has been in a rel for like 5 years, his first and only major rel of his young life, i guess similar to what happened with her. they start dating at like 18 or 19 instead of 15, and their first real rel is a deep, long term, marriage like one. i wish they just got fookin married!!!!!!!!!!!

but in the end, HE (that womans bf) wanted out.

i have no idea about the brother and his longterm gf. i think that is more balanced and mutual and two way street. but i never got as close to the family as i would have liked…….because she was BLOCKING me from hanging out with her. so who cares about the damn family. well when we were friends, we talked about her family and she shared things about her family! and i met her mother a few times. why SHOULDNT i be interested in her family????!!! damn!!!!!!!!!

i did nothing wrong. but im the type who takes EVERYTHING personally. so when she went apeshit on me, i thought i MUST have done something REALLY wrong, and it took a while to realize i really DIDNT. this is HER Issues and insecurity too. namely, her taking SUCH offense and feeling SO betrayed when a male friend gets feelings for her. god damn, its NOT A CRIME!!!!!!!!!!!!! throwing somebody out of your life is a LOT worse!!!!!!!!!! -1 vs -20 hahahaha.

and its HER ISSUES which made her REACT to me liking her so BADLY.

and those issues come from mother and father and bad experiences with men, men are BASTARDS!!!! nto necessarily abuse, but hugeass disappointment and failure and rejection hahahaha.

(well stop PICKING bastards then. but thats another issue. her Picker is fooked up, like with many women. they CANT pick good men. and again that MORE THAN LIKELY is Root Cause by No Father or even no Father Figure! i mean she has male relatives but at the end of the day they really cant be the father figure, you really need pref the father, or MAYBE if the mother picks a DECENT stepfather (many dont) at an early enough time in the childs life.)

i just thought a woman who had actually experienced disappointment and rejection from men, might be able to relate better to me, who had experienced constant failure and rejection and disappointment from women. someone who understands the pain of rejection and disappointment. cuz most women DONT. cuz they are the ones usually DOING the rejection and the disappointing!

i appreciate a person who really understands rejection and disappointment and loss, and she did. however it didnt help her in treating me better when she rejected me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

anyway my ear canals feel like theyve been savagely violated by Bubba, might have to stop with these earplugs. but they really do work well with sleeping more solidly/soundly.


maybe she thinks she doesnt DESERVE a good man so she subconsciously pushes good men away. makes sense. lots of women do this, then Consciously choose thugs and deadbeats and abusers and cheaters and Unavailable or Unwilling men.

well, as a beta loser, i probably dont DESERVE a good decent woman, but i sure as hell WANT one and would not push one away!

also re no contact: remind yourself that not only does she not want to talk to you, she doesnt even want to LISTEN to you! thats why she BLOCKED you on facebook! she doesnt even want to LISTEN to what you want to tell her. i often forget that she BLOCKED me. blocking does send a clear message: i dont want to listen to you. and whose job is it to remove the block? thats HER job, if she ever wants to do it. which she probably doesnt. HER JOB TO REMOVE THE BLOCK, NOT MINE.

so blocking me is really the nicest thing she did for me, becuase its the clearest communication she sent me. isnt that sad? BLOCKING is the NICEST thing she did for me? because she couldnt write me a message in FIVE MINUTES? couldnt take FIVE MINUTES to end an ALMOST THREE YEAR FRIENDSHIP in a decent dignified kind respectful way????? DAMN. SMDH. WHAT DOES THAT SAY ABOUT HER?

anyway i see a Budget Rental small truck driving around my neighborhood and the driver is wearing a FEDEX coat and delivering fedex packages, scanning them and all.

immediately i thought the worst: that he’s a contractor or 1099’er for fedex, or working for an agency, so he’s getting paid less than a REAL fedex person even as he works FOR fedex. probably as a damn temp. he’s gotta start BELOW THE BOTTOM and work his way UP to the BOTTOM. damn. prob part time at 36 hours a week cuz then theres a law that they have to offer you benefits after 1000 hours? if i were A Manager or A Hirer i would know this, but of courshe im not and never will be hahahha.

if youre over 30, women will only date you if you are a MANAGER or above hahahaha

so i thought, damn. i bet he is working 36 hours a week, part time, for 8 bucks an hour, and i BET he has to pay to rent that Budget truck out of his own pocket. Fedex just tells him, get a truck, we dont care how, rent it, no we wont reimburse you any, no, we dont have any deals with companies, just go whereever and rent a truck and show up here tomorrow morning for your 8 bucks an hour. and also you ahve to pay for your fedex jacket. and pay for your scanner. we will take that out of your first paycheck. be glad were not asking for a deposit now. no we dont take credit cards. pay $200 cash to us before your first day of work, rent a truck with your own money, and you too can make 8$ an hour.

when maybe thats not the case. maybe Fedex paid for the truck. and the scanner. although soe places make you pay for your own work uniform. MAYBE a fedex truck broke down and The Business Analysts determined that it costs less to rent a truck for the month of december and then replace the truck in january. i wonder if that was explained to the driver. well he doesnt need to know. i guess thats true if he doesnt have to explain to customers why hes driving a rental truck.

but yeah it bothered me when i had to explain shit, like refusing service because it cost too much. and i cant find a good article on the WHOLE INTERNET that teaches you how to Refuse Service Because It Costs Your Company too much. is this SECRET, clandestine information? NO, EVERY company has to do this! the best i can come up with is talking points on how to refuse or negotiate a discount, when the stubborn customer demands a discount you dont want to give. thats valuable info, and kinda relevant, but kinda not. and it sounds terrible to say, we’re gonna chose to leave the shit broken because it costs more to fix it that to elave it broken. well couldnt you say that about anything? yeah but this broken thing is not adding enough value to where we will MAKE MONEY ultimately after incurring the cost to fix it. tell your customers that hahahaha.

i mean this is a basic part of Business Sense. so why is there nothing good on the internet on how to do it? they should have textbooks in high school on how to do it. the people that know how to do it have a better shot of being successful at their jobs. its a very important skill, but no way to be trained in it. its a big secret that you just have to figure out and no one puts it on the internet. yet they put everything else on the internet. maybe its ilegal like child pron. its illegal to help train workers to make their businesses more profitable hahahaha.

this is what managers call “setting you up to fail” and it happens in all workplaces. they throw you to the wolves, say figure this shit out with no help or youre fired. what the fook.

good god. instead of pulling everybody off the phones for a Weekly Update Meeting because it costs too much to train, have a higher up make a 1 hour video every week and then have people watch it in their “downtime”, ie, their OFF TIME.

oh because it will break our companies internet to host that video on our servers, and we cant put it on youtube cuz its confidential proprietary in house shit. it costs too much for us to use GOOD EQUIPMENT. this is why shipping companies drive trucks until the wheels fall off, and shoot out loud exhaust like uncle buck in front of the customers, looks real professional. becuase it costs too much to fix shit and to have good tools.

did a nice 9 miler


i dont miss anything degenerate, i miss having a nice person who used to be nice to me, who i felt close to and loved!

its hard to stop loving someone and start loving someone new! it takes a LONG TIME!!!!!!!!!!!!! damn!!!!!!!!!!

i think it SHOULD take a long time!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

so yeah dont listen t people who tell you you should be over it by now.

this was strong love that new families are born from. children are made.

if it was meant to be though… would have worked out. SHE would have loved me. really its SIMPLE. i loved her, she didnt love me. period.

yeah it slowly gets better but its still just horrific. despite the father issues and the trust issues and the men issues i still cant believe she did that to ME.

well, i had never seen how she acted with male friends who slowly fell in luv with her after a long time. because there were none. she didnt have many friends period. her main male friend is a homosexual. i liked that she didnt have 9000000000000 shallow “friends” and acquaintances and orbiters. she hung out with her family and her boifran and like 2 real friends. which i was becoming one of.

so yeah it was all new to her. she didnt know how to act. i didnt know how she would act.

but still. it never happened to me yet i still know how to act: golden rule baby. always be nice. you can dump me, just BE NICE about it! its not complicated! she had more than enough time to THINK ABOUT how she wanted to deal with me. hint: the correct answer is not complicated. JUST BE NICE.

iceland is slightly bigger than ireland in area.

yep its true. svalbad about 23 k, ireland 32 k, iceland 39 k.

are there a lot of nonwhite immigrants in iceland hahahaha maybe i should move there.

but i hear all the gurls are promiscuous sluts. like they fook guys they dont even know.

i dont care if its a high trust society. women should NEVER be sluts. 100 0. they just have too much to lose. too much reproductive responsibility. even when the guy is an upstanding white icelandic gentleman. the pregnancy and childraising is not any physically different than if the father was a black deadbeat hahahaha. bix nood muf00ka sheeeeet.