i might have linked this already, worth reading again hehe
found it in comments to this vid
wish weev had some cooler people with him and not those dumb women, but women luv weev for reasons i shouldnt’ need to mansplain. they would fly halfway across the world to have weevs babies. and i definitely want weev to have many hwyte babies.
heh i am much more attached and hero worshipping of weev than i am of for example mike enoch. if weev did something disappointing, i would be a lot more disappointed.
i mean im kinda disappointed he’s hanging out with this white slut losers hahahahaha.
had 7 minute conversation with adjacent department colleague. he is way too smart to be in his current job, which is a job i would like to have. but he is a big ideas man who would be very well suited for grad skool IMHO and he is thinking about it and sort of on the fence…..but he is light years ahead of me as far as having a good plan and talking a great game and doing his research, and READING BOOKS, working on a business plan, looking at schools, looking at programs, plus he is more charismatic than me and has a GF who is planning on going to med skool.
full version, without the silly music, of anti-pornography interview by ted bundy MERE HOURS before he was executed, linked early in that MPC thread
nofap is kinda ridiculous, i think the much more important thing is NOPORN. porn is INHERENTLY destructive and horrible, a LOT more than jerking off is. of course when you pair the two, a lot of people get it confused. no you can still jerk off, just dont look at porn. ever. again.
been reading this whole thread. pman has a great effortpoast here.
anyway yeah i talked to this guy who is nice and charming and very smart, he is somewhat like me in that he is currently “underachieving”, but he’s underachieving way less than me because at least he’s above bare minimum, he is well positioned to go to grad school, he has a gf, and seems well adjusted. i should try to hang out with him socially hahahahaha. and while i agree with him on several important points such as a radical reimagining of Education, the destruction of the modern university as we know it, meaningless Credentialism etc, i am SURE he is much more leftist than me, and seeks to make everyone equal, etc. also uhhh i don’t think this guy is technically hwyte hahahahahahahaha. but he is nice and smart and i feel favorably to him.
so is me not disclosing my views, is that disingenuous, or is that Good Tactical Taqqiya? especially since i cant really argue my views well with smart people.
this guy really is a really good drummer, really fun to listen to him rawkkkkkk the fook out on those drums. PLENTY of superfast blasts as well as the more med paced ones. great drum SOUND as well. well done lad.
not sure how much i love the overall production, but the drums sound great and the mellow parts, maybe the heavy guitar is a little fuzzy. a minor quibble.
just exploding with high energy, impossible to believe this is just one guy. but yeah his energetic drumming is the foundation of all that. the rocking bass playing probably helps too. not that bass has any place in black metal hahahahaha. this might be my moment where i finally Get Into Panopticon. shit i even like the phaggy nonmetal parts. none of it sounds insincere. hey maybe all the people saying panopticon was good were on to something.
yasssss ive KNOWN about them/him for a long time, 5 years at least hahahaha.
he does really like those fast blast beats. good for him. i think i would play in a similar style as him if i could actually play drums. i am aiming for the same target as him. the same drumming muse motivates us hahaha.
see i like that he does the fast beats over (under?) very melodic, catchy riffs that could just as well work with somewhat slower beats, so you can still totally understand the riff, rather than for example nile who have fast blasts and fast, meaningless, incomprehensible riffs that sound like total wankery. fun, passionate, happy wankery but still wankery.
anyway. day off here. was very tired last night and fell asleep easily. the big surprise was the greatness of the sleep that followed. long, solid sleep, but also filled with interesting dreams which i will try to remember.
one sort of confidence shaking one involved me meeting with muh boss’s boss, who is pretty much an official higher-up, and kind of an intimidating, no nonsense, masculine man who wants to get things done. not very surprising given his professional role. but obv i want him to like me. so he was having a brutally honest talk with me about My Fit with the Organization, how I can see everyone around me has masters degrees and are consummate professionals, so what do I really think about that, heavy implication that i obv dont have a masters degree and am underachieving as fook, i am now an older man, WHY ARE YOU HERE, why arent you doing MORE, and WHAT ARE YOUR CAREER GOALS. that was a direct question. tell me right here and now what you are trying to do with your life, what are your career goals, prove to me that you are a good fit with this team, impress me with your specific career goals. and i was caught off guard and started rambling nonsense, a bad answer, and he saw it immediately because he is very perceptive, and quickly shut it down. ok ok ok i see where you stand, let’s end this meeting now and let you go back to your underachievement. with the heavy implication that i was now marked as the underachieving loser slacker who would never be considered for promotion.
now the reality is, i will never be “promoted” per se, the best that could happen, and I guess that IS muh immediate career goal, is to do such a good job here and now, that IF a better position opened up, I would be the top choice for it. that is, i won’t ever be promoted in this position, i would have to apply and interview for a totally new job. in the sense of req codes and job classifications and unions. all our jobs are kinda strictly defined which certainly is related to The Union.
anyway if he ever had that discussion in real life, and he wouldn’t, if anything it would be my direct manager, who is personality is more….gentle but he still gets a lot of stuff done. I would tell him, I love muh job but obviously want something more substantial, i would love to have more responsibility (hours, money) in this department, i want to be the top candidate here. i’ve been on the fence about masters degree for ever and i think i have legit reasons for that. but your opinion is important and if you push me in that direction, that would help get me off the fence. i just dont want to pay 50 grand for a useless masters degree. would basically be what i would say.
what else. i was a young man living in a house much like how i did at that time, with a ton of other young students. common theme in muh dreams. i was sitting and talking with an “older” woman who was the mother of this gurl I fancied who lived in the house too. this was a real gurl I did once fancy. there was also a young man there who was the gurls brother. i never RL met the mother or the brother. they were talking disparagingly of the woman, that she was a very shallow, judgmental, bitchy young woman, that she only liked you if she could use you, she only liked cool, good-looking people, and treated you like garbage if you weren’t, and this is a bad way to be, and she better change her attitude.
in the dream i was kinda friends with the woman and was thinking wow that’s a little harsh, dont talk about muh waifu like that hahaha. i hope she’s not really like that. but this is her FAMILY saying this about her!
funny enough, i never saw that woman in the dream. in real life, she was a very young, very qt gurl who i was sorta friends with for a while. but she WAS kinda bitchy like that, and also a bipolar, crazy, mudshark slut doing flighty things and prob very good at Ghosting people or throwing them away. she didnt really throw me away, we just kinda drifted apart and really werent that close to begin with.
later in the dream i met with other young women in the house, who were trying to suss out how i felt about that woman. who i liked every though everyone else didnt. i was talking to a Good Looking, Light Skinned Black Gurl who was kinda friendly to me and was possibly open to me banging her. I would much prefer to Bang the other woman and I wasn’t in luv with Race Mixing….but this Black gurl was miraculously good-looking enough to tempt me. believe me that never happens with blacks hahahaha.
i basically tried to very softly state to her that I thought she was good looking, but also that I thought the other (hwyte) gurl was good looking too. I made some great bullshit statement about being 1% attracted to somebody. wish i could remember it. i am a fan of the female form and appreciate all kinds and flavors of female beauty. a good looking gurl is a good looking gurl. certainly you, as a good looking gurl, can appreciate that, hahahahaha.
thats about it. no real lessons in that one, other than yeah i should have listened to other people and not pedestalized that woman, because she was clearly not a great person. and she wasnt! i would have totally dated her though.
she could have been a better person if she had seriously seen a shrink and just kept her legs closed and just made a damn effort to be a better person. but she had big daddy issues of course. SAD.
i mean i dont think she was that bad of a person. she was just heavily compromised and broken and even if i did date her, i know she would have dumped me quickly and it would have been yugely disappointing. she was very disappointing. because she could have been much much better. fairly smart, great looking hwyte gurl. i blame the father for abandoning her. and the mother, im sure, was at least a little crazy herself. mother married a pretty stable man early in the gurls life but it appeared the damage had already been done. to the mothers credit, she did pretty well with that guy and built a seemingly stable family.
great comment here by millennial former p0rn freak who realized the error of his ways. this yuge thread just gets better and better. prob should permalink it. ok done.
The young man becomes insatiable by 21. Now there isn’t even a hint of affection in the scenes he watches. Love, healthy emotion, and even pleasure itself are passe. ……On it spirals, the curious young id, into French curls of perversion and decadence. Whips. Chains. Anger. Raw frustration. Rage. Hate. Sex is now hate to him. Sex is just ugly, contemptible, shameful: a grim continent of disgusting Freudian urges. Why fight it? Keep going. Keep looking. Keep clicking. There’s salvation, there’s absolution out there somewhere.
Until one day the young man, alone in his onanistic filth and fluid, learns the master lesson of human sexuality. If he is wise, his heart and intuition will lead him there. That lesson is as follows: the sexual impulse is perverted if it is aimed at pleasure alone. There is no greater cause of human heartache than chasing pleasure for pleasure’s sake. All the sexual impulses must be directed toward some higher purpose: strengthening a marital bond or forming a family. Any other avenue of sexuality hijacks the awesome power of your libido and makes a slave out of you.
I quit porn. I quit any kind of sexual titillation not involving a real, living woman I love and with whom I wish to raise a family.
I only wish I’d been given this prime directive more forcefully as a child.
big march for life today in DC, almost forgot about this. they should have this at LEAST twice a year, ideally every week or day. i think its a good opportunity for pro-hwytes to be visible and active. get richard spencer at this thing hahaha. they are incorporating Gays For Life, which is not the best way to go imho. well….i dunno. on the fence about that. if it can help overturn roe v wade, then it would be good. and then we could focus on turning down the gay degeneracy. IMHO i think abortion is the bigger problem. that commonplace, feminist-related, straight-WOMAN-related degeneracy is a more pressing issue than gay degeneracy.
so i dont read enough books hahahaha. i did an impulse buy of this book. i was looking at bowling alone, which is somewhat of a classic. then remembered when i talked to my intelligent colleague yesterday, he mentioned bowling alone as well, and said putnam did another book on education. i THINK he was talking about “our kids.” that would prob be more up my alley right now. almost bought that one, then read some critical reviews saying “coming apart” was better, on a sim topic, and less PC. plus i had heard about “coming apart” ever since it came out and I have respected murray ever since the bell curve which i bought like 5 years ago hahahaha. also its PAYDAY so this is muh gift to myself. plus it talks about HWYTES directly in the title. ok i’ll bite.
also i look for books where you can get a used hardcover book for a decent price. got a 60/40 shot here, not in your favor.
ok big task for the day is go to store. aiming to do that at 6pm.
just wanted to say for all i talk about pr0n, im not really tempted to watch it, and im greatful for that. but it ULTIMATELY wouldnt matter if i were tempted every single day, as long as 1. i realized it was bad, 2. AND i resisted the temptation. so i would stand in moral solidarity with the men that are really STRUGGLING there, fighting the good fight. i am no better than them. if anything this shows you the temptation is only temporary. this too shall pass.
tbh im MUCHHHHHHH more tempted with MJ. i think about it ALL THE TIME, several times a day. if i HAD any, i WOULD be indulging in it every day.
in a way, being a habitual porn user is WORSE than a woman being a dirty slut. because she STILL doesnt watch PORN.
think about it. the pathetic foreveralone atomized virgin with 31 tabs of weird porn. cant talk to gurls. sees secs as jooish narcissistic pleasure only. with no idea how to relate to other people. at least the slut has better social skills! the slut isnt shutting herself away from people and hasnt stunted her ability to deal socially with the opposite secs!
in fact, in dealing with REAL HUMAN SECS rather than the fake illusion of porn, the woman has MUCH more occasion to view sex as a human act. because it isnt such a SOLITARY pursuit for her. the human, two-person nature of secs is MUCH harder for the slut to deny, than for the pathetic neet constantly jerking off to videos, by himself, never experiencing that with another living person.
so its probably HARDER to become a slut than to become a porno addict neet hehehe. because to become hard to Actual Human Interaction like that and STILL DO IT indicates a VERY poor moral character. i think its easier to fall into porn than to fall into sluttery in other words. porn is a MORE slippery slope. cuz its JUST YOU. only you and the weird, twisted world you’re creating, no one else there to help pull you back from that abyss.
its easier to associate secs with Human Bonding when you are having actual secs with an actual person, in other words. so yeah the women that CAN do that I think are even WORSE off than the most hardened pathetic porno neets.
and if you “gave” these porno neets a real woman, that might be like a harsh wake up call to the Human Element of secs, which might get them to quit porn. but porn obviously DRAINS your Social Capital and Charisma and makes it much less likely you could get a real woman to consent to secs with you. so i guess the best solution is to spend decent money to get an attractive hooker. because hookers are still humans hehehehe. unlike porn. not saying those gurls arent humans either, because they are. they are probably the most pathetic of all. but no way the hardened porn jerker is gonna udnerstand that.
its just such a bad shitty thing and i cant believe more normie men dont realize it. they might not become daily, 31 tab porn addicts, but they still beat off to it once a week and think its harmless, fun, hot, sexy. thats bad enough!!!!!! even if they still havent been harmed enough so that they can’t pull human women.
like guys who have a GF they have regular secs with but STILL watch porn. i GUARANTEE the porn will EVENTUALLY cause a problem. and with good reason, because it IS a real problem.
anyway im just thankful i am not tempted by it and i have not watched it in well over a year. like 15 months maybe.
wish i could just as easily not want to smoke MJ. i dont know how im gonna do that. with porn i simply stopped watching it. MJ i havent even smoked in like 4 months but still think about it every day.
heh why havent i looked for an MPC thread on MJ. theres gotta be one.
oh right. because they either dont have a SEARCH function, or, more likely, i am too low-rep to use it or even see it. doesnt make much sense tho. i mean the forum is largely open to read to the public, why not make it searchable. can google do it?
ok you CAN use site:mpcdot.com to search the site at google.
first one is prob more relevant.
anyway. i think i ALWAYS had an IDEA that porn was somehow wrong. gross and ugly and not realistic. but i used it ANYWAY. but i dont think my heart ever became completely closed. i was aware it might be hurting my behavior with real women, but i did it anyway.
i didnt think it was a huge problem, because i didnt spend hours looking at it at a time. i didnt have 31 tabs open. but maybe i had 10 tabs open! and i used it most days! even if it was just 10 minutes, go to a trusted source, and rub one out. that was bad enough. thank god i never got to the point where i had huge hours-long porn marathons, just looking and looking and looking.
but damn if i didnt still graduate to weirder and weirder stuff anyway!
and i think it did make me hate women, because i thought that those real-life sluts had reduced their real-life sex to something crude and disgusting just like this porno!
and now that i’m fully aware of exactly how disgusting and wrong porn is, i STILL think real life sluts treat their real-life sex like this, which makes me have extreme contempt for them…….but they probably DONT, so i SHOULDNT hate them so much. they probably STILL feel some human connection.
when i was looking at porn, i KNEW it was lacking the human connection, and that the human connection was something I really WANTED. but i did it anyway because i was horny. just wanted to see some naked young girls fooking and doing increasing weird stuff. but i still wanted a gf and a rel and cuddles and luv. i knew that the porn was at the very least WEIRD and not realistic, but i guess i accepted it as an imperfect Substitute. its actually a hell of a lot less harmless than that. i certainly didnt realize how harmful it was.
even NOW i believe it still affects the way i view women! thats probably the worst long term harm its done to me. i wish i could undo it. i am cautiously optimistic More Years without porn will help here. but point is, even a year plus cannot completely undo it. its LONG TERM shit.
like you see a woman inadvertantly show cleavage while leaning over, and you think Automatic Negative Thoughts like that dirty slut. sex means nothing to her. she fooks guys and throws them away, the sociopath. and that is almost certainly not true. you are looking at reality COMPLETELY WRONG. heh. that is humbling and hard to accept.
A person’s success in life can usually be measured by the number of uncomfortable conversations he or she is willing to have.
signature of “marketing guru” on MPC who has a pciture of tim ferriss for his pic hahaha. looks like tim ferriss is the originator of the quote too hahahaha. well he’s kinda a BELLEND but i kinda like some of the things ferris says, and this is one of them
i read part of 4 hour work week in 2012 and kinda wish i hadnt gotten rid of the book, i think i purged it as “jooish degeneracy” but he’s not really jooish. he is a very successful hwyte man who despite being kinda sleazy has said some powerful things hehehe. has lessons to teach.
QUOTE from pman: But what really sets them apart is that they struggle to relate to other people, which comes across clearly online and must be glaringly apparent in real life. What’s also apparent is that porn consumers operate with a strikingly high level of baseline depression, which they use porn (among other things, probably) to combat.
end quote hehehe. like i say, great thread, good reason ive permalinked it in the sidebar. i hope the MJ thread can help quell my urge to do MJ hehehe. which as ive said is a MUCH bigger threat atm than porn. ive pretty much solved muh pron problem thank god (although still feel the long term residual effects!!!!) but at least I dont WANT it the same way i’ve CONSTANTLY WANTED MJ.
lets link this one again hehehe. dis gon B gud.gif. this might even graduate to the sidebar.
well it is pretty gud. i should read this every time i want to smoke MJ. ie, erra day hahaha. just wish it was 28 pages like the porn thread instead of only 4 pages.
gavin mccuck writes for takis which is a halfway decent “gateway to the alt right” site. hes actually a decent writer even if he is a weak cuck married to an asian joo with little mixed kids. terrible. sad. but this article sees him smokin modern MJ and getting a panic attack. and basically he is becoming more anti-MJ now that he sees how STRONG the stuff is.
whats worrisome is i would get panic attacks and paranoia and STILLLLL want to smoke it!!!!!
yeah pretty good thread, needs to be longer tho. and uhhh i still wanna smoke MJ. god damn it hehehehe.
i actually took a pretty much full dose of nyquil at 7pm after coming back from the store, did my Goal for the day thank god. then had nyquil. then drank some coffee because i wanted to play cards for a little. actually did ok today. left with more than i came in with. 4 to 6. that does not happen most of the time hahaha.
about to go to bed now. this is why i took the nyquil, so i could sleep long time when i did go to bed. guess i could have just taken it now hahaha. 1030pm.
saor aura album. pretty sure i like saor better than panopticon but its nice to hear panopticon drumming for saor on this album because he’s such a good drummer and he brings his great style and sound to this album.