PLEASE SCAM ME

dec 25 2016

merry xmassssssssssssss

hehehe i like this brand new tradition i just started where i give xmas donations to decent people. paypal or bitcoin. gave donaations today to fatherland podcast, counter-currents aka grindr greggy, NPI aka richard spencer, daily stormer aka andre, smaller dnation to good morning huhwhyte america with adam and mary. i only listened to 1 episode but i know they are great people, adam appeared several times on fatherland, and GMWA is a beautiful family-oriented husbando and waifu pro-white podcast, which is comfy AF and just good stuff. also very pro-christ hahahaha.

also gave small dnation to GEORGE FEELS and hope he reads my message talking about using small amounts of medical MJ to help with his despair, doing a skype talk one day, using myfitnesspal to count calories and lose weight, and to look moar into the alt-right. really should have given him moar than 5 dollars, but hey he works 30 hours a week hahahahahaha. more than i do!!!!!!

have now dnated 190 dollars to alt-right causes in my life hahahaha. 45 dollars was in bitcoin hahahaha.

heres the message i sent to GEORGE FEELS:

Merry Christmas George! Just found your channel this year and I can relate. Don’t listen to the haters in your comments! But I would respectfully recommend 2 things: 1. do an in-depth experimentation with the legal MJ in your state and make a series of videos fully describing your experience. I suspect that MJ, at the right dosage, can alleviate despair somewhat. 2. MyFitnessPal is a GREAT tool for measuring calories in one’s diet and exercise. It helped me lose a ton of weight fairly quickly. The main thing was that I was simply eating WAY more than I really needed! See the actual numbers helped me discipline my raging appetite haha. You should also check out more Alt-Right stuff like The Right Stuff forums, great positive group of people that can help you feel good about your legacy as a Huhwhyte Man. One day I would ideally like to have a Skype talk with you, but maybe in 2018 haha. Maybe think about recording skype talks with other like minded people. (NOT the hecklers in your comments!!!!) Take care and next time you feel like sipping the Fermented Joo, please try a SMALL dose of The Herbal Joo instead, hahaha. Best wishes to you and your family! Also, are there any young fresh off the boat Ukrainian girls arriving in your area? You could potentially show them around, hahahaha. Take care buddy.

hehehehe. arent I SO NICE???!?!?!?!

I wouldnt send him any money if he were not HUHWHYTE.

There’s a chance he could be a JQ because a lot of JQ’s came from Da Ukraine, I’ve met some IRL. But pretty sure he said something about his family being somewhat christian. of COURSHE j’s can convert to christian, and i don’t like that, but…..gonna give him the benefit of the doubt. i guess there’s a chance he might have uzbek or kyrgyz in him. also gonna give him benefit of doubt. he looks more than 50% huhwhyte. despite the brown hair and brown eyes hahahaha. if he reveals he is not huhwhyte, i will not give him anything next year hahahaha.

if he is 25% jooish and 75% huhwhyte, i would also give him the benefit of the doubt. i am remarkably generous towards quadroons who choose to identify with their huhwhyte side.

played some poker on xmas eve and had a remarkably good day. doubled from 4 to 8 basically after 3 or 4 good hands. PRAISE GOD.

hahahaha i had the first and so far only xmas day dnation to andre anglin hehehehe YOURE WELCOME. he cashed it out within 30 minutes. which is smart, considering the VOLATILITY of btc, and that its own a downswing right now. ENJOY your 6.16 USD goy hahahaha. buy fookin 6 shitburgers on christs bday. how cheap and JQ am I?????!?!?!?!?!?!?

and not many people are dnating to good morning white america at all.

that feel when you are watching the travel channel and you see a jooish gurl you used to go to jooniversity with, and now she is a phd scientist commenting as an expert for TV shows hahahahaha. then you look the tv clip and confirm it is actually the person. she is about your age. well it doesnt say PHD after her name, but she is probably a PHD hahahahahahaha.

well i didnt really hate the gurl. she was a little autistic and weird and jooish, and i knew her because she was dating an acquaintance of mine who was super weird and super autistic and rather jooish hahahaha. this was like 11 years ago. yeah she looks older of course, but it still looked so much like this woman, i had to do some internet research. confirmed it is indeed her. well good for her, i never really hated her. well, other than i was suspect that she didnt give my jooish male acquaintance a fair enough chance. he could not have been easy to date though, he was confirmed super autistic. and they dated for pretty much a long time.

see, i used to be friendly and social with Literal Joos!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

and i would give them both a pass to get out of the oven hahahaha. i wouldnt have a problem with them going to israhell tho hahahahaha.

not gonna donate any money to THEM, they are jooish professionals making like 60 grand a year each hahahaha. at least.

but yeah they werent individually wrecking nations and genociding whites and promoting degeneracy. they were pretty neurotic joos tho!

where do you get off being a BLUE EYED JOO? I just dont get or like that. I mean this gurl was not an ugly ratfaced joo. now i’m wondering, was she even really a joo? I thought she WAS, but yeah, nonugly, blue eyes, you start to wonder. maybe only half JQ?

she wasnt a horrible person though. i would spare her the oven. and him. i liked him better hahahahaha.

just an unexpected thing to see on tv on christmas while watching travel channel with the fam.

i actually sent an EMAIL to george feels because after d’nating to him, I had a concern that concerns him. not going to talk about it here, but we’ll see if he emails me back. used muh new alt right email hahahaha. maybe he will be too intimidated. i tried not to be too intimidating, overwhleming, or pushy, or overbearing.

super JQ tv station vice showed terminator 1 last night, which is a great movie, and my god was linda hamilton not bad looking when she was 24 years old. horry sheet. unfort she shows her bare bosoms like a jooish wh0re. but its a very white knighting sentimental true luv secs scene. i still dont think they should have made her show her milkers though. show true luvsecs without any nudity. other than that the movie is good and not very jooish at all. but yeah my god was she a qt in 1984. in the healthy non-woman-hating man, this will kindle a natural white knight urge. in the mgtow woman-hater, it will kindle nothing, it will make you say, fook you, i’m not gonna white knight for some damn skank, thats how they GET you.  hahahahahahaha. hell no im not gonna fall for this TEMPTRESS’S TRICKS!!!!!!!!

rather you identify with kyle reese and say yes i am going to protect this woman. i mean thats what you SHOULD do.

not resist your NATURAL urge to white knight because bitches be bitches taking advantage of this urge to get gibs! which they DO….but not all women hahahahahahahahahaha.

hmm. i mean if women were damn crafty parasites looking to scam as much gibs as possible…..they would be approaching me and trying to scam ME, thinking, what can i use this poor neet omega virgin for? but that literally NEVER happens!!!!!!!

maybe im just not good enough to even be scammed hahahahahahahahaha.  i mean ….

well i DO have resources that can be scammed!

PLEASE SCAM ME!!!!!!

hhehehehehehehe

i guess im not considered the LOW HANGING FRUIT because i am invisible and im literally NOT advertising that i have a lot of resources to easily scam. like, they’d actually have to WORK to scam me. and yeah, they WOULD. I mean I actually VET people. EXTREME VETTING. I vetted HER too. and she passed the vetting! I still wont retroactively flunk her there! because what she did was simple cowardice, not really a 180 of character, even though it FELT like it at the time, because it was SOOOOO painful.

like they say, never attribute to malice what can be explained by ignorance. or cowardice. or laziness. she was ignorant and lazy and especially cowardly, but i really dont think she was EVIL.

not gonna donate any money to HER though hahahahaha. she doesnt do anything to strengthen our huhwhyte race hehehehehe. refuses to have anything to do with me.

they say you are over someone when you just don’t care if they are with someone else. well i guess im not there yet but i guess i am kinda close. i mean i dont want to know that she is with someone else! i just dont want to hear about her EVER AGAIN.

well yeah in a way i always care. because im like b1tch, you coulda been WITH ME. damn. i just dont want to hear ANYTHING about them EVER again, unless they want to be with me.

hmm hope paypal didnt shut down my account because im not using my real name. using my alt right name, just opened this account a few weeks ago, to start sending donations under a fake name. tried to send one to TRS and it wouldnt let. either me or TRS has the prob. i would think they would have more of a problem with TRS. “h8” group receiving thousands of shekels. rather than me donating like 20 dollars to various people.

2016-12-25-18_25_00-mint-_-transactions

hahahahahahahahaha SO GENEROUS!!!! SO HUMBLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

this is how i stroke muh ego and muh conscience. i mean i am totally getting something out of it too. a lot. lets not pretend to be SELFLESS about it! the satisfaction is really THAT strong. it’s almost unfair to THEM. i get WAY more Satisfaction out of donating 5 dollars than they get by GETTING 5 dollars!!!!!

but some people wont donate to george because they feel his current videos arent really doing anything. i disagree. and i give him a LITTLE money just as a good faith thing, to put my money where my mouth is, and maybe he will take my advice more seriously. I really WOULD like to see him try some MJ, make videos about it, and i think myfitnesspal really COULD help him lose weight.

as far as getting women, i don’t even know. i’m almost as much a foreveralone virgin as him.

and i also think becoming more racially aware and alt right could help him the same way it helped me.

so i give him this advice and give him a cash tip to show I’m serious hehehe. i mean i dont think he is getting TONS of donations. i bet he gets BARELY ANY. so when somebody donates ANYTHING, he’s likely to LISTEN to them.

i mean shit. he makes more money than I do. probably TWICE as much money as me. ANd I’m donating to HIM?

want to donate ME money? send bitcoin to

13AZJj5mo4QT8UqE9A4v4cERBQ6wFuEF5d

please hahahahhahahahahahahaha.

uhhhh i dont want to give any of my paypals, i’d have to set up a third paypal for this blog, becuase i don’t want to blatantly confirm my alt right WN identity on this blog, though you can probably figure it out, and thats not even a huge deal to me. i just dont want to make it EXPLICIT, exactly because I don’t want to brag about being a neet loser basically. and being a neet loser undermines my credibility as a WN.

it doesn’t go both ways, me saying I Am A WN on this blog doesn’t undermine my credibility as a NEET……because as I neet, I by definition HAVE no credibility!!!!!!!

Neets are more Punished and Shamed than WN’s! Neets are more hated than White Racists!!!!!!!!!

heh. good thing i have both bases covered.

funny how we can see linda hamilton go from being 24 year old beautiful waifu qt, to being like 57 years old in 2016. An Old Menopausal Infertile Withered Old Hag. She’s prob not obese though. could be tho. I heard Shelley Duvall is now obese.

i am not even gonna look up 2016 photos of either of these women. even by T2 in 1996, linda hamilton had certainly lost a lot of her youthful beauty. it’s a direct function of youth!!!!!!! and that was TWENTY fookin current years ago!!!!!

have invested about 130 dollars GAMBLING since i started gambling at the bitcoin poker room in early 2014. almost 3 years. 130 dollars.  43 dollars a year. thats not horrible. i have seen people blow through like 500 dollars in 2 hours at the real casino. HORRIBLE.

dont know what else to say about that!

but i tell you what, i wouldnt mind to have the privilege to go down the street and buy some dank MJ like George Feels can hahahaha. its really weird how he doesnt really mention it. I’m sure he prob mentioned it for 1 minute, or maybe 1 comment, probably something like “i’m not interested in it” or “i tried it once and didnt like it.” but i think he should at least do a full video on it, and he hasn’t done that. he’s mentioned alcohol blatantly in the title of several videos!

and i think MJ would do him better than alcohol.

not saying he should smoke an oz a day, or get so blazed he has a panic attack. which is a very real possibility for many people, including myself, and the THOUSANDS of people who go to EMERGENCY ROOMS in colorado now that mj is legal, and people get SUPER blazed, have a panic attack, think they’re dying or having a heart attack. i’ve BEEN there, DONE that. it HAPPENS, don’t DENY it, you damn degen stoners. anyway, just saying he should take one puff, get a little blazed. better than getting drunk thats for sure.

it just seems WEIRD that a person who lives in a state with LEGAL MJ would not even TRY MJ and make a big obvious statement on it. while others of us daydream about taking a trip to colorado and smokin tons of legal MJ hahahahahahaha. i mean i might just do it. and visit george while i am there. convince him to sm0ke with me hahahahahahahaha. be like try this maaaaannnn, your life isnt getting any better, you arent getting any younger. hahahaha.

wow looks like george michael dead is NOT a hoax. died on xmas. today. kinda ironic because of his huge hit xmas song. last xmas by WHAM! of course. age 53. nothing saying cause of death. i dont think he had GRIDS tbh. maybe drugs then.

one simply does not pass away peacefully at home at age 53. coulda been cancer. that sucks worse than GRIDS. dying of cancer at 53. sheeeeeeeeit.

i mean yeah he was a gay degenerate but so many Famous People died this year. and really, george michael is not as significant as leonard cohen, david bowie, or prince. but you see what i mean. and cohen was the only one that was really OLD and dying at what i would say is a natural age.

yeah well not even degenerates deserve to die on christmas day at age 53. he had a greek name, not sure how white he was. i guess he was a greek cypriot. cypriot greek. i mean its borderline fam. the ancient greeks were absolutely huhwhyte i know. but modern greek cypriots?????? i mean the man was swarthy af. he had the thickest beard I have ever seen. he was pretty handsome tho. but degenerate. he didnt HAVE to be so degenerate.

sheeeeit i wish i had been born in like 1996. kids these days dont WANT to do drugs, they dont WANT negro secs, they WANT to be alt right traditionalists!!!!!! this new generation is interested in the old morality! and NOT in being degenerates, like my older generation was/is!!!! we were all like, yeah lets get FOOKED UP because getting FOOKED UP is FUN and FEELS GOOD and IF IT FEELS GOOD, DO IT!!!!! nothing was sacred, absolutely nothing. all women were dirty sluts. the only pleasure in this world was to get fooked up on alcohol and drugs, cuz everything else sucks.  beat off to porn, go to strip clubs, maybe bang some sluts at best.

young kids these days are rejecting this garbage, AS THEY SHOULD.

so yeah i have a lot of hope and optimism in the young kids of today, in other words. like the kids who are 16 to 20 right now, in 2016. but people who are 26 or older? fook no. they’re finished. beyond redemption.

hey i WANT to be redeemed. I am done with being a degen. HOWEVER I still want to sm0ke MJ. I’m not WILLING to give that up entirely. i want a PASS on that one. i AM willing to keep it a SECRET from the alt right hahahahaha because i totally udnerstand why they don’t like it. i wouldnt want my kids doing it. more than once a year hahahahaha.

i just need it for medicine because i am irreparably broken hahahahahaha.

i know its shameful and i dont have a problem keeping it in the closet!!!!!

but as long as i dont have it i will continue to talk about it hehehehehehe.

also i would only talk about it in the “CLOSET” of muh neet blog, and NEVER in the out of the closet on my alt right blog, which I don’t really have. I guess muh neet blog would be it!

i mean its gonna happen in the next 10 years. each state is falling one by one to the legal MJ train. and you cant just have a country where half the states have it and half dont. each of those states will EVENTUALLY vote in legal MJ. its INEVITABLE. and i am happy about that. just impatient.

well…..SHOULD i be so happy? because i can agree MJ isnt a generally GOOD thing. i just want to be the exception. so why should i want a society that encourages it? i shouldnt!!!!!!

could it be legal AND socially shamed? fook no. come on. look at alcohol and porn. those are tolerated and celebrated!!!!!! if you are an alcoholic yeah thats kinda shameful, but in every town there are bars full of people celebrating alcohol and getting drunk.

 

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TAKE ONE FOR THE TEAM AND HANG OUT WITH ME ONCE IN 10 MONTHS

may 10

1000 calories,  7.07 miles (at various speeds and various inclines), 136 minutes.

kind of a long time, i am very jelly of the people who can burn 1000 calories in 1 hour. i have seen a few.  but that was my goal yesterday. rather than going a straight 130 minutes, I just decided to say fook the time and go until I reach 1000 calories. broke it up into 3 parts. first part did a 2.5 mile Slow Jog. with some walking. to get to 400 calories. then next portion was focused on doing huge incline, up to max of 15%. getting 300 calories there. then took a small break to go to bathroom and drink water. then cam back and did last 300 cals at very relaxed pace. so basically, 700, then a break, then 300.

for the first 700 listened to music, then on 300 listened to white racist fatherhood podcast.  best show ever. did I mention I made a donation to TRS hahahahah pat myself on the back publicly.

so it was 3 portions:

  1. 400 cals, 3.14 miles, 47 minutes. involved 2.5 miles of Slow Jogging hahaha. prepping or muh 5k haha.

2. 300 cals, 1.62 miles, 39 minutes. attached to portion 1. ramped up eventually to 15%, speed was pretty slow.

3. took break. came back. did 300 calories, 2.31 mile, 50 minutes. much lower incline. tried to “relax.”

well i neeted it up at the interview, and important to note this was for an Eligibility Pool, not a specific job, so…. hehehe so hard to make money in this world. just want to not be a neet skell hahahaha.

Civil Cases and Debt cases sometimes dont go to trial but get outsourced to an outside ARBITRATION service who then makes the ruling on who owes what.

I just want a civil court arbitration that that woman treated me less than respectfully, and therefore owes me an apology, and some respect. hahahaha. basically to have someone back me up and say, you’re right, this isn’t right, you dont deserve this, this is no way to treat a person, she fooked up, and you didnt do anything wrong.

this is the problem when somebody dumps you in this way. either they’re fooked up, or you’re a monster who deserves this. And I REALLY dont want to be a monster. I’d rather her be a huge chickenshit coward avoider. well at least I think that option is becoming more clear.

when a bitch accuses you of being CLINGY or NEEDY, just mansplain to them, no im not clingy, thats what love IS. I just have stronger feelings for you than you have for me, so to you it LOOKS LIKE needy. when you loved a guy more than he loved you, you looked 9000000000 times worse than this. now bend over and take my c0ck up your ass 90000000000 times, you filthy wh0re, and that will make me like you less and hate you more and then i will be less needy hahahahahalol. then you can find some other f4gg0t fool to NEED your used up ass. bet youll feel great when you are 35 and no one NEEDS you except your ingrate bastard mud baby and your cats. and they cant fook you hard like a real man can hahahaha.

had dream I was hanging out with one of my previous female friends who was a fairly attractive young woman. but she was always dating other guys and I never really wanted to date her. we just hung out and got along pretty well. but I never got conflicted over her. although in the dream I had just spent a fun day with her and then at the end of it we started cuddling and I think Making Out. and I thought, well this isnt nearly as weird as I feared it might be.

so that means, I PROBABLY could have gotten more than friends feelings for her too if I had tried, hahaha. but I never did. Anyway we drifted apart very amicably and I have no hard feelings towards her. I kinda feel she would be a big handful to Date though. like Unchill and crazy, been with too many guys, too crazy, etc. but as a friend she was just fine. But I still think That Woman would have been a much better GF. she hadnt been with as many guys and was more innocent. but in the end…..who treated me better?????? the “slut!” hahahaha. Not that I like to think of that prior female friend as “A Slut.” even if she might have been. she also got into long term rels with guys.

i never wanted to date her and never Got Feelings. but this dream showed me that maybe I could have, in an alternate universe. prob one where we spent even more time together, and where she was blatantly single. she was single/available like less than 1% of the time I knew her.

I am single/available 99.999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999% of my entire life, hahahahaha.

well better than 100% hahaha.

good god. send resume to “IT REcruiter” for an “asset coordinator” position which i dont even know what that is, but it didnt sound like a call center, and the guy calls me within 30 minutes. I did not answer, let it go to voice mail. he said he was EXTREMELY INTERESTED in talking to me hahahahaha. god damn aggressive recruiters. I wish the companies could be as aggressive. then they would actually hire people. thats how recruiters work, thats how they find people. they just YOUR HIRED! to anybody and then send these schmucks to the company. perhaps the recruiter actually takes the time to look at the resumes while the company just hires anyone who comes in for an interview. i honestly dont know how this is sustainable. and i hate everything related to “IT”.

or apply for an autistic children behavior tech using simply apply on indeed and get a direct email from the person at the clinic, asking me to fill out this application doc file and send it back. just a shitty ass form on a doc file that is gonna contain all the information on my linkedin and indeed pages which was included with my original submission.

sheeeeit. back to spraying out applications hahahaha. i still wish that woman would “come to her senses” and apologize to me. shit. its just gonna take a damn year to get over, actually probably more.

was I really THAT bad? I dont think I was THAT bad. damn. So I was annoying. give me a little benefit of the doubt. I wasnt some random guy. just TRY. not try to luv me, but TRY to see it from my perspective and TRY to give me a tiny bit of good will. im not trying to hurt you. im not trying to fook up our friendship. but this just happened. what would you do if your BF was HORRIFIED and DISGUSTED when you were honest about how you liked him, and he reacted like this, instead of dating you in a marriage like relship for 5 long years?

hey I lost something and someone important to ME. itd be NICE if you acted like i was important to you too.

of COURSE me getting feelings complicates shit. but i knew when I was your age that you cant hold feelings back. and you shouldnt hate people for getting feelings.

but yeah she was a big deal in my life and i still havent filled that void yet. maybe if i were working a lot. or even a little. that would def help. leaving the job ALSO caused a big void. so now I have TWO BIG VOIDS and that is a lot.

I think if I were just working I could focus on that, worry about that, maybe become a degen MJ smoker again, maybe 3 solid months of chronic MJ use would help me make some progress in getting over her. i mean thats all that she does. smoke tones of MJ every day and forget everything. I wouldnt mind forgetting HER.

oh but i would be using drugs to block shit out. NO, i would be using drugs to erase or delete memories. big difference.

not block, but erase. destroy. dispose of. annihilate. delete forever. its the closest thing to never meeting her. as if she never existed. that would be great. where mah weed at.

nietzsche wearing trump hat.png hahahahahaha

i dont give a shit if it IS degenerate. if it helps me get over this woman, then i’ll take it. obviously dont want to be doing it for like more than 6 months.

hey i mean I cant deal with the Feelings any MORE. there’s nothing more left. it’s just replaying of all the old shit. it’s all been played out. it just stays there like the stench of smoke or cat piss in a house. lingers, serving no god damn purpose whatsoever.

may 11

had dream featuring woman4 aka woman2005B? she had a sense of SEcsual Innocence which I looked for and found in other women too. However she saw me at my drunken worst too much and was kind of annoyed by me hahahaha. plus I was too much of a pvssy to really hang out with her one on one. which come on. you really need to do that. but I was young, I was drinking a lot, I had gotten dumped by woman3 and was upset about that, and I was trying to get back together with woman2 but she wanted to be Just Friends, so my confidence was at another big low, which caused me to act like an idiot around woman4, who I remained in luv with for far too long. I think I was over her within 3 years tho hahahahaha.

heh. its weird. I havent had any success with women since I stopped drinking hahaha. 6 years ago….i mean 7. however I would get so falling down drunk that that didnt help me with women either.  like holy shit he is the drunkest one here kind of drunk. not lets all get tipsy together. well, I used to be able to do that back in the day, and that was legit fun, and that maybe DID help me with woman2 and woman3. in 2004 and 2005 hahaha.

wow 302 days since i last talked to That Person. and it feels just like yesterday hahahaha. I like to think in terms of 100%, multiples of 100, 100 days, 200 days, 300 days, 400 days, so hitting the 300 day mark is significant. def have made some progress but just want to make it to the 400 day mark, which I think will be better. 100 and 200 were nothing. meant nothing. who cares. no big change there.

anyway what happened in the dream with woman2005B. uhh I think we were at a party and I might have been getting drunk and embarrassing myself in front of her. also I was trying to spy on her to see how she reacted to these douchebag guys hitting on her. she did not appear to be having a lot of fun and went to sleep in a room in the back. I saw her sleeping there alone. I guess there was no guarantee she hadnt had casual sex with every guy there but me, but it really didnt seem like it. the next day people were eating breakfast and I tried being nice to her and apologizing for being a drunken fool? Cant really remember.

but yeah being a drunken fool is never a good move with women, and neither is apologizing like a little bitch.

hehehe the worst thing you can do after being ANNOYING to a woman, is to APOLOGIZE to her for it.

in fact i dont even know the best thing you can do. pretend like it never happened? be cool, stay away from the woman for a while? then she’ll prob just forget about you totally. i am tempted to say that being annoying is the worst thing you can do in the first place, cuz its one strike and youre out, you cant bounce back from that ever, you might as well pack it in immediately, YOURE DONE.

it doesnt matter if youve been married for 20 years or you just met the woman hahahaha. be annoying ONCE and youre the bad guy who ruined the rel and pushed her away.

hhahahaha ok i am exagerrateing as i sometimes do. magnifying. going to extremes. of course if youre married for 20 years, your wife might show you more loyalty and luv and not give up on you after one strike. you might get the full 3 strikes. leave the toilet seat up 3 times over 3 years and youre divorced hahahaha. its not like the points come off your record in 6 months.

anyway woman4 was a lot more emotionally stable than me hahahaha. she got a decent job and really she just needs to get her masters degree already, I dont know why she put that off. Of course I liked that about her! but shes so focused on her social justice career that its foolish of her NOT to get a stupid social justice masters degree already. in international poverty alleviation or some shit. or some really sjwy law degree would also be good for her.

she could have well been asexual or a lesbo. well she was too cute and feminine to be a lesbo. but she would prob be very nervous about secs and embarrassed to talk about it publicly…….as all women SHOULD be! so I liked that about her.

in an alternate universe i would have just gotten married to her when I was 22 and she was 21 hahaha. and i would have not been drinking or acting a fool. oh i realize the error of my evil ways.

i kinda acted a fool with That Woman…..but it was still very different. there was no drunkenness. just annoying pushiness. but I hung out with her one on one quite a bit, which I never did with with woman4, and had enough courage to ask her to hang out at least hahaha. also i was never really actual friends with woman4. we never hung out or texted or talked or had a real rel of any kind, the way I did with That Woman.

but yeah I would luv to use degen MJ for like 3 months or 100 days hahahaha to see if that helps erase that woman from my mind. but got to get job first hehe.

so should i call this IT recruiter back about the asset coordinator job? PROBABLY.

its all about DOING THE REPS. you might not be in the best mood, or be super confident, not at the top of your game, but you get down to work and do the reps anyway. do something rather tahn nothing.

also I wanted to make it perfectly clear that I was NOT looking to her to give me support for my Despair Disorder. That is my cross to bear alone hahahaha. I was, however, looking for the kind of general Loving Moral Support which a Special Woman wilfully provides to her Lover. The Tender Mercies and all that. the warmth and cuddles and all that. which I think is legit, reasonable. But I was not asking her to be my Shrink and Save Me From Myself. I know a lot of Despair people do this and it understandably overwhelms the partner, pushes them away.

Nope I wasnt doing that at all. I was just asking for someone to spend time with me and give me luv and cuddles hahaha. not emotionally manipulate with my own despair. what a womanly thing to do hahahaha. im gonns suddenly shut down because I have despair disorder and you are gonna be at the mercy of muh moods. NOPE. i didnt do ANY of that.

however I do firmly believe that general luv and cuddles would have generally increased my confidence and power and probably made me generally less depairing.

see her confidence was not diminished at ALL. getting rid of me was just getting rid of a problem. it was a weight lifted and her life could get better. for me it was a big loss, like a death, leaving a huge void, and also I have two huge voids, one in muh personal life, another in my working life, and have greatly weakened confidence in both those areas. where she has much greater confidence in both those areas. hehehehe. winning lifes struggles is a lot easier when you have CONFIDENCE. and jobless loveless neet virgin losers dont have much confidence at all.

the worst thing I wanted was her to support muh confidence. but she didnt really need to DO anything to do that other than hang out with me and not be cold and distant to me. very low bar. when things were going good with her, i was pretty confident.

but when things went REALLY bad with her, my confidence went into the crapper. what i’m saying, is they didn’t have to go SO badly, and maybe if they hadn’t, my confidence would be higher now, which would make my current struggles less difficult.

in other words, it wasnt draining or too much effort for her to build up my confidence. she just needed to sit there and smile hahaha.

but it also wouldnt have been THAT much effort for her to PREVENT the hugeass CRASH in my confidence.

of course, the OBVIOUS lesson here is, don’t chain your self confidence to SOMEBODY ELSE, PERIOD.

so yeah its always been hard for me to not associate my self confidence with How Women View Me.

When Women view me favorably, I have decent confidence.

When women view me unfavorably and abandon me, I have very low confidence.

Once I get over those rejections and women have no opinion of me…..uh i have average-for-me confidence and a pretty pessimistic view of women hahahah.

but for like at least a year after a big rejection, my confidence is impacted. adversely.

basically women reject me and become way more successful than me at life hahaha. I have never been rejected by a woman who did not move on to become WAY more successful and make WAY more money than me, regardless of the age difference. 4, 8 years younger than me, they still make more money than me in the current year.

shit coming up on the 3 year anniversary of this Blog. so i was trying to get over the rejection of woman2012 still. I had met That Woman about 6 months before starting this blog. however since me and her never made it to 3 years (only 2.7 hahahahah), then yeah technically this blog is Older. so I see that as a good thing. My ROCK to get me through. something truly long term hahaha.

in late 2012 i was getting attention for my old blog and getting pretty interested in The Movement hahaha. I still am very interested in the movement, but I don’t want to be a public face for the movement, because my emotional instability and neetness makes the movement look bad, and they don’t need that. and i dont want to do that to them, however unintentionally.

I got rejected by woman2012 around that time. I met That Woman around that time. there really was a lot going on! i was working my littleboy job, i bought muh first laptop computer, I visited muh friend in las vegas and rode on a plane. racist on a plane hahahahaha. I remember I listened to some Dr Pierce on the plane.

so rejected in october 2012, i recall I was kind of upset about that, such that I was still upset in may 2013 and started this blog. but in hindsight what i am going through now is 90000000 times worse. I didnt start a new blog but god damn I have a huge buffer of posts hahahaha to keep this blog going for another 6 months even if i stop writing today. which i wont hahahaha.

and obviously i have been talking about mainly that even since it happened! HER! that person and the tragic end of our rel.

she cant deny that it was a relship of sorts. it wasnt a secsy rel but it was a close friendship! she cant deny that. an impartial arbitration firm would prove that. because we had intimate conversations. not surprising that i, having a taste of Intimacy, wanted a little bit more. I didnt expect her to give it to me, but i DID expect that we would bla bla bla communicate about it.

see? dead horse, stale farts, im just feeling the same feelings over and over and over again, running in circles, and this is what I want the MJ for. to erase the mind. there is nothing left for me to learn here. there wasnt much to learn in the first place.

really the PAIN per se is not terrible, but the general lack of confidence is the big problem atm.  im half the man i used to be hahahaha. actually way less than that hahahaa. a 1488th of the man i used to be.  i have absolutely lost my mojo or groove or chutzpah or spark or whatever. not that I had a lot to begin with!

oh no MW is in a state of despair. I think he is just on the verge of a despair mode, after he has experienced some success in life at long last which lifted him out of years of despair.

IMHO what he needs is a real life support system, ideally a 3DPD waifu to cuddle with. or im just saying that because thats what I really want hahaha. did MW have a falling out with adam wallace or something? people saying theres a “split” in the alt right? the alt right is all over the place anyway. was adam wallace speaking out against “the 1488 crowd?” I dont want to put words in adam wallace’s mouth, he seems like a good guy but definitely more arrogant than MW. indeed MW has so much self doubt that it is harmful to him.

now he’s transformed from a neet to a guy who makes 400 dollars a month hahhaha on donations (more than I make!!!!) and he makes very nice videos, and works really hard, too hard IMHO, he is burning out a little.

how does one “PUT IN THE REPS” without BURNING OUT?

well you just go through the emotions and half ass things and hope you are not Found Out and Fired!

or, you half ass things every other day. on Valium Day.

i dunno some jobs you cant do that though, because everything is measured, everything factors into the metrics, so you have to be on point producing high quality and high quantity with no half assing. even when the manager is out, they still see the numbers and the reports regarding your work and its quality and quantity.

well now I have an interview with the post office. city carrier assitant job, 16 bucks an hour, non career position, no guarantee of hours. they just emailed here saying be here at this time 5 days from now, NO RESCHEDULES.

i wonder if post office gives random drug tests. i mean I would probably be driving the little mail truck and delivering to houses. assuming I dont sound autistic during the interview.

well this is the post office downtown for the interview. I hear that post office is 99% nonwhite hahaha. they smoke blunts all day and think whitey is uptight hahaha.

well…. yeah i mean because nothing government agencies do makes any sense. nothing in Regular Companies makes sense either, until you think….this is being done to cut costs. of course even that is done incompetently, remember? so they lose money in the LONG RUN. well, govt is even MORE incompetent, which might be GOOD because it allows me to really COAST and not try hahahahaha.

but yeah I hear this post office is in a real Ghetto area of town where people get shot and robbed just a few blocks away hahaha great. I mean this is a Ghetto City that does not have a great reputation in general.

yeah I know its politically incorrect to say ghetto in reference to poor blacks. but I am somewhat thankful to grow up near a truly Ghetto City, so that I could become Redpilled On Race hahahaha.

of course now middle class white hipsters are moving into the city after college trying to Uplift it and show the evil white flight racists that they are racists for abandoning the city hahahaaha. i thought you were supposed to get more redpilled after you left college and started working in the real world. nope not necessarily. many of 28 year old self-loathing whites trying to uplift ghetto neighborhoods hahaha.

abandoning a city eh, is that like abandoning a person hahaha. maybe what I did to her is the equivalent of a city becoming a violent black ghetto hahahaha.

seventh son makes his first appearance on the fatherland

ie seventh son is one of the big founders of TRS, showing some favor to the underlings here.

https://radio.therightstuff.biz/2016/05/11/the-fatherland-episode-26-svenpai-notice-me/

so, a big episode for the fatherland in other words. well its a great show tbhfam. really gets to the meaning of the 14 words.

horry sheet MW replied to my comment on his vidya and said thank you to ME. ssssssempai nnnnnoticed me!!!!!!!

so that legitimates my whole blog and life hahahaha. bring in a screen shot of that to all job interviews hahahaha. see this neet alt right youtuber nnnnoticed me hahaha now hire me.

 

hehehehe is it bad that I havent listened to MW regularly in at least 3 or 4 months, and only heard about this despair video on a post on TRS forum, which I also have scaled way back on?

2016-05-11_18h18_15

yeah its a shitty comment and I deleted it like 2 times only to come back with a shitty low effort comment, but I figure it was a case of something shitty was better than nothing hahaha. and now i really get to PAT MYSELF ON THE BACK for morally supporting a good guy hahahahaha.

just like I PAT MYSELF ON THE BACK for donating $6.75 to TRS, even though other men donate $14.88 every single week.

and peter steele says, dont pat yourself on the back for doing works of charity, do something good for someone, and then NEVER TELL ANYONE ABOUT IT.

ok I see their point, and this isn’t a bad thing to do.

I just think its ok to pat yourself on the back once in a while, especially when you dont get a lot of pats on the back IRL from others.

and besides, TRS and MW are truly good causes. not a lot of overhead your money can be wasted on, also no tax benefit for the donator.

i am sure at some point in the future I will do something nice for somebody and not brag about it hahaha.  but I am simply not that secure yet. let me get some good feelies out of this at least! its like I get to cuddle with 3dpd aryan innocent waifu to boost my morale that way!

its either bragging about charity or smoking MJ. which is more degen hahahahaha.

anyway i should go for a little powerwalk outside.

ok did that, burned 410 calories? not bad. didnt even jog once, got some sun, it was 70 degrees.  hopefully got some vitamin d, finished previous episode of fatherland.

its really COZY or COMFY, you know the pepe meme where he is wrapped up in a blanket drinking hot cocoa with a roaring fire and its is just very comfy.

http://comfyneetpepe.tumblr.com/

oh god this is great. proud comfy neets openly hating on WAGECUCKS or as he calls them, WAGIES. hey WAGIE whatcha doin? goin to WORK to make more money for bossman hahahaha. omg.

https://webcache.googleusercontent.com/search?q=cache:http://comfyneetpepe.tumblr.com/

for posterity

anyway that had to be done by a good guy, there are schlomo merchant memes in there as well. hilarious.

http://archive.is/gRTv1

archive.is does a little better job with the format

portrays neets as alpha males who are banging wagie’s wimmin while they are at work like pathetic wagecucks hahaha getting cucked by alpha NEETs hahahaha. so ridiculous.

anyway MW needs something like this, he is too stressed. sometimes you need to get comfy. yeah I REALLY wanted to get comfy with That Woman. Cuddling with your waifu would EASILY qualify as TOP comfy. but thank GOD there are other ways to get comfy too. like smoking tons of MJ and listening to the fatherland. and when MW is not despairing, he is pretty COMFY too.