JUST SAY THE WORD HUHWHYTE

mar 19

wazzzup world hahahahaha

sunday morning today as well, just drinking coffee and farting and reading new blog post and watching rare history channel program on WW2.

  1. actual historical content on the HISTORY channel is so rare. you are lucky to see one program a week.
  2. naturally its very by the book shit of hitler and germany being monsters who need to be wiped off the face of the earth by the valiant allies.

not denying the bravery and courage and toughness of the allied soldiers. just that we were jooed into the war. jooed by literal joos and cowards into fighting against our german brothers. never should have happened.

did hitler really want to violently conquer all of france? i have to wonder if this is just another one of those joo lies. the idea of lebensraum did not mean he wanted to conquer all of europe by force. or did he. am i being to nice to AH.

yeah well it probably would have been a good thing if he had. introduced race conscious NS to all of europe. i do bet he would have allowed European Ethnic IDentity to be encouraged, like yeah you’re still FRENCH and youre still DANISH and youre still POLISH and youre still ENGLISH. i guarantee he wouldnt have tried to make everybody “german.” prob would have been flexible in allowing each nation to develop whatever kind of fascism worked best for its people. he wasnt trying to make some kind of pan european euromutts. and violently subjugate other europeans.

i mean shit he was allies with italians and spaniards and croatians, you think he would have genocided POLES? he just wanted 10% of some polish land that was pretty inhabited by germans anyway. i think they could have worked something out. or were poles actually the assholes who started ww2. yeah wel if they were i still blame the joos who were lousy in poland just like they were in russia. where did these people COME FROM. khazaria of courshe hahahaha. which was closer to poland and russia than to germany for example.

was winston churchill an ALCOHOLIC???? AH sure wasnt hahahaha. also FDR was a marxist j00 who was so crippled that his even more communist jooish lesbian WIFE was essentially president for 8 years.

i will single handedly change the current course of history and stop our hwyte women from being stupid racemixing sluts!!!!! and make them GOOD again! i will rise to that challenge and CHANGE THE WORLD!!!!!

this is the Talk Of A Champion that you are supposed to replace negative thoughts with, hehehehe.

take negative thoughts and say NO!!! NO!!! YOU SHALL NOT PASS!!!! to them, and REPLACE them with POSITIVE thoughts of how you will WIN like a CHAMPION. HAIL VICTORY!!!!!!!

welp maybe i wont single handedly change the course of history, but i can certainly change one person. even if that one person is “only” myself. shit that would make all the difference in the world.

dont waste time trying to BE a womans father figure. THATS HER FATHERS JOB. and if her father didnt do HIS job, dont sacrifice yourself to clean up HIS mess. even if the gurl is not a huge whore hahaha. she will just find other ways to break your heart and be a huge disappointment.

better to not throw time and energy into a bad investment, and find a good investment, and find a woman you can have your own children with, and YOU can be a good father.

terrible few days for bitcoin, bad week for bitcoin, really a bad MONTH for btcoin hahaha. i mean its gone down 200 dollars just in the past 4 days or so. terrible.

ok. took huge dump, trimmed beard for weekly sunday #2 length beard. i guess #1 length would be The Don Johnson hahahahaha.

http://bbs.dailystormer.com/t/no-fault-divorce-wife-leaves-husband-for-some-black-guy-media-praises-him-for-being-the-perfect-cuckold/92868

guy is a great father to his son but is a terrible cuck who lays down for his bitch ex who left him for a black guy.

if he’s such a great guy, YOU SHOULDNT HAVE LEFT HIM, MUDSHARK SWINE. she left him because he was WEAK and SOFT AND because she didnt have a father to slap some sense into her saying, whats WRONG with you? this guy is perfect and a great husband and father! DONT LEAVE HIM!!! EVER!!!! ya dumb broad!!!!

Sad!

although its not the paxil/prozac/AD’s that do it, i take AD’s and I fully woke and Luv My RACE.

theres this meme that AD’s make you a sociopath, AD’s make you a cuck, i want to rebut that. I still have sympathy for other people and though i am kinda a cuck, i would NEVER do what this guy is doing, i would SHAME my shameful x for being a shameful MUDSHARK. Mudsharks REALLY trigger the FOOK out of me. that woman hahahaha. i cant believe she was technically a MUDSHARK. that should be enough to turn me OFF of her, but it just made shit MORE painful, harder to deal with, longer to get over. this is what happens when girls dont have fathers. Sad!

http://bbs.dailystormer.com/t/i-have-a-chance-to-influence-a-young-mudshark/92888

this guy describes a young mudshark from a decent family, good father, but is STILL an unrepentant mudshark. will be watching this thread for replies. maybe some will accuse him of being a joo planting a bullshit story thats too good to be true, NO decent hwyte gurl with a good father would EVER be a mudshark, ALL mudsharks are disgusting fat slobs. but i know this is not true. this is the real tragedy of mudsharkery, is watching a young girl BECOME a mudshark, to first cross over that line from good to ruined. Sad!

my theory is the father is a successful but swpl liberal middle class guy who is so nonracist that he doesnt care if his daughter fooks blacks, esp if they are not super thuggish. light skinned blacks who go to college and have no felonies.

i just cant understand whites who WOULDNT care about their DAUGHTER dating nonwhites. thats where the rubber meets the road. thats where people who don’t think they are racist discover that they are indeed a little bit racist.  and they dont mind it, beucase they’re not gonna cave on their daughter fooking nonwhites.

the SAD thing is, many hwytes WOULD cave on this, and would STILL be totally nonracist here. im so nonracists i REALLY DONT CARE about my daughter fooking nonwhites, and as proof, she’s already fooked 4 by age 22 and brought them home and they were all gud bois who dindu nuffin!

if the idea of your DAUGHTER fooking nonwhites doesnt make your SKIN CRAWL……i just dont know what to say to you.

i dont know about women. i WISH the idea of race mixing made THEIR skin crawl too…..but it just doesnt/ manage expectations. welp, turns out some MEN are just as cucked.  many MEN just dont care about race mixing either. sad! disgusting! unmanly!

again, i dont EXPECT women to know better. MEN, i DO.

so thats probably whats going on here, and shows you dont have to be white trash to be a mudshark slut.

really. honestly. i guess i’ll never understand these nonracists. you mean you JUST DONT CARE. have you NEVER got your heart broken by a woman and then that woman went on to fook blacks and browns and you didnt feel just a little bit angered by that? you REALLY dont care if your GF has been with nonwhites before you or after you? No they really dont. i guess i really cant reach these people. and i sure as fook can’t understand them.  WOW. JUST WOW. You really DONT care, do you. your gf has fooked blacks and you dont care. your daughter is fooking blacks and you dont care. WOW. you really dont care. well i guess you showed me! just how nonracist you are! feels good doesnt it!

i guess there are two types of peopel in the world, racist and nonracist, and never the twain shall meet. i am pretty happy being a racist. i mean i would rather be a racist than a nonracist!!!!!

and the dead giveaway is, do you CARE about your daughter, or your GF, fooking nonwhites. or yourself for that matter. do you really have NO PREFERENCE when it comes to the race of who you date.

some people SAY they have no preference but NEVER ACTUALLY date nonwhites. thats probably ok hahaha.

some people SAY they have no preference and MAINLY date whites….but occasionally date a nonwhite. not good. NOT EVEN ONCE. then what? did you learn something? did you develop a preference? i should hope so.

heh. i hope you never fall in LUV with someone who breaks your HEART AND does some mudsharking which ALSO breaks your heart too.

but the good thing is that it reduced my tolerance for race mixing degeneracy to absolutely zero.

i’m not even sure its inherently JOOISH, although it’s obvious why the joos exploit it. but it IS inherently degenerate in the most basic way. it’s just fooked up. entirely.

you dont have to be explicitly racist! just never fook a black! god damn! is that SO HARD??!?!?!?!??!!

you could even SAY you dont have any dating preferences! just don’t date a black! is that SO HARD?!?!?!?!?!?!

apparently, hahahahahahahaha.

i  have met maybe 2 black women that were attractive enough to bang, and i’m glad i didn’t hahahaha.

i’ve met many khazar jooesses who were attractive enough to bang. well, when i was young i did. but i didnt bang them. i probably would have if i had any idea how to talk to women. but i didnt. but i’m glad i only race mixed with jooesses only a TINY bit and not a LOT. better to be CELIBATE than to race mix.

https://heathenharvest.org/2016/01/02/outcast-by-choice-an-interview-with-mikko-aspa/

have not read this one yet hahahaha

http://archive.is/6Bmu7

not bad!

but he has to know nicole 12 is degenerate. his past “pornographic” work is degenerate. i think he’s stepped away from this, has done less of them as time goes on, and more of Positive stuff like Vapaudenristi, but i still want him to SAY IT, say that yes i am making a moral judgment here, molesting children is wrong and degenerate, there’s a gray area where girls start to become women and start to become attractive that is probably younger than the legal age of consent, but we should still not “sexualize” them, and in general all pornography is degenerate, and race is real, and nationalism is good. this is what i want him to say rather than mental masturbation about “anti-anthropocentrism” hahahaha. just keep going in the direction of Ethno nationalism, and in saying mean things about k1kes hahaha.

i mean there’s NO DEBATE to be had on nicole 12 buddy. it’s not about studying a conditioned reaction like a “drooling dog.” i dunno. i think he should have just wrote a book about it because i just dont understand what he was trying to say with it. that everything is conditioned? that you can be conditioned into thinking pre-pubescent children are SECSY???? it just seems kinda JOOISH to try to say there’s nuances where there are none. yeah i KNOW he’s coming from the whole power electronics aesthetic, which has the same issues of jooish degeneracy.

i dunno. i guess i just want him to be something he’s probably not, and im gonna be disappointed with him in a few years hahaha. or maybe not! i mean over the past 4 or 5 years, he’s been doing more of the good things and less of the bad things!

like he needs to go into more specific detail about this “dynamic nationalism” and how he does NOT want a return to the past. how dynamic are we talking here? does race matter or not? i know he appreciates honesty but he talks too much like a damn………jooish academic artist???? thats just mean of me to say hahahaha.

no i think he’s just smart and autistic and this is the way he talks, he doesnt MEAN to sound jooish. he’ll be allright if he keeps hanging out with racist skinheads talking real talk hahahaha. also if he met a decent woman and had some children. i dont think he MEANS to sound so confusing, he’s not doing that on PURPOSE like the joos do.

he’ll probably be all right. i just dont want him to slip back into degeneracy and then make some jooish excuse about it when i KNOW he’s smarter than that! i dont want him to pull some FEDORA shit.

at any rate, he’s not really alt right and prob wont ever be as much as i would like him to be.

but would he let his daughter race mix? would he say NONE OF MY BUSINESS if muh gf race mixed before? hehehe i really dont think he would. i hope he wouldnt.

also i like some of the anti-individualist stuff he says in the interview. that these individualists are even more Conformist than normie Sheeple. basically suggesting that Individualism is Atomizing. Well….inasmuch as you can “understand” ANYTHING this guys says. I think he’s on the level, but this is why I want to TALK to him and get straight answers to straight questions. Would you let your daughter race mix? does race mean anything to you? do you care if Finns are wiped off the face of the earth? what do you think about Da JQ? Tell me what you really think about Da J’s. It’s ok m8, I dont like them either. I hope you dont like them hahahaha. what the FOOK kind of “discussion” do you think could POSSIBLY be had about nicole 12? its ok to say you have matured since that and maybe wouldnt do that again and maybe weren’t making the best statement with. molesting 12 year old girls is ALWAYS wrong and only a JOO would try to equivocate on that and it’s ok to say that. only a joo would WANT to have a discussion about the nuances behind wanting to Abuse Children.

which is totally not the same as saying, hmm that 17 year old gurl looks fairly attractive, and I would sign up to marry her when she turns 18.

just set up an email list for news on vapaudenristi and make english trans of the lyrics available so we know what you are talking about.

but if you listen to the albums of an RAC band like No Remorse and DONT say, OMG, these deplorable reprehensible nazi racist bigots! and instead say, hay I LIKE this, then you are kinda making a statement right there, aren’t you. Like how I realized that you can’t be a VVN Sympathizer without actually being a full-blown VVN and just not realizing it yet.

anyway me talking about That Man is even less interesting than me talking about Women or That Woman hahahahaha. if you want to have straightforward conversations about 1433, then there are a couple places you can go. like daily stormer. who i fully support. as of march 2017 hahahahaha. if andre turns out to be a joo i will cry mantears of grief and then move on somehow hahahaha. i really dont think he is though. also dont think he would marry a jooess.

however i wonder if k1ke enoch has divorced his joowife yet hahahaha. i aint mad at him. the shit is complicated. its still not good to have a joowife tho. but he is entitled to having a personal life. but none of us should be race mixing. he’s smart enough to know this is a problem. also its naive to do big things and say “im not a leader”. you have become KIND of a leader whether you like it or not, when you do big leaderlike things……and openly ask for dnations. i dunno. i think he learned something from all this. if anything i am more butthurt about sven banning people wantonly from the forums for weak reasons. and i still really like the hihg svenergy vidyas.  and there are still plenty of people on DS that crap on TRS for being j00 luvers. i still like em both, but i just had to take a break from TRS for a few weeks. to allow myself to not be so emotional about it.

NO ONE IS SAYING ITS OKAY TO HAVE A JOOWIFE. some of us just arent willing to believe it makes TRS traitors and shills and spies and plants and feds and mossad and controlled opposition and JFK MKII ULTRA hahahaha. it was just a guy in joo york and joo jersey who married a half-jooess before he was j00 pilled. it can happen. its not the end of the world unless they have joo children. AND THEY DONT!!!!!!!

basically how hard is it for mikko to just talk about HWYTES. just say the word. hwytes. europeans. its ok. its not a bad word. you can do it. say it. luv it. be it. huhwhyte. its a beautiful thing, its ok to FOOKING LUV being huhwhyte.

shit ive been saying it 14330000000000000 times a day for years.  no need to never say it once in years!!!!!!!!!! now THATS a little weird!

good luck finding a woman who says she prefers to date hwytes. just be lucky to find one who’s never “dated” a nonwhite YET. keeping the race pure is YOUR job. either the woman feels some kind of racial preference deep down inside or she doesnt, which will make your job of protecting the race and finding a woman who hasnt dated a nonwhite yet a little bit easier, if she’s not actively inviting them in like the sluts at the castle anthrax with a purpa drank shaped beacon.

HAIL VICTORY! THIS TIME THE WORLD! 14 WORDS!

but yeah. i just think its weird that not more hwytes are as anti-race mixing as i am. they just DONT CARE. or, worse, they say it’s AOK! no problem! i wouldnt care if i had mixed race kids!

that just seems weird and disturbing and unnatural to me. why WOULDNT you care? i want to find a woman who, on some unconscious level at least, CARES about this! and hang out with other men who explicitly care about this! become part of a mannerbund!

GLR prohibited drunkenness at ANP meetings. I think hahahaha.

andrew zimmern is pretty jooey but i also think he’s a good guy and i wouldn’t be against not deporting him hahahaha. but what is he teaching his kids at home? is his wife a joo? ideally she would be a latinx or something. why should we sacrifice a hwyte woman to make zimmern less jooish.

what about natives. injuns. there are rural communities where many of the hwytes are 10% injun. man i dunno hahahahaha. i figure if you are 13% or less nonwhite, then welcome to club hwyte. the hwyte race.  thats basically one fully nonwhite great grandparent at max.

it would be ironic if some nonwhite young woman was really really really really nice to me, and fell in luv with me, and wanted to be LOYAL to me and have muh babies. i mean that’s nothing to sneeze at when a woman gives you that loyalty. but i want that from a HWYTE woman, not a nonwhyte woman. go give that to a man of your own race. so what if they are shitty. the women of MY race are shitty. but i’d rather have no woman than a good woman of another race.

because i might be tempted! I have NO doubt that there ARE good women of other races. and being in that situation would probably be TEMPTING. oh ive been so lonely for so long, how can  REJECT this WONDERFUL woman who LUVS me just because she is not hwyte? come on. best not to BE in that situation to begin with.

GLR’s “HWYTE POWER” might be the better book for the beginner to GLR to read. i am kinda getting bored with TTTW hehehehe 65% of the way through.

https://archive.org/details/WhitePower_189

READ IT. BELIEVE IT. LIVE IT.

from the first page, we can see that stuff in the US is HEAVILY jooed as far back as 1965.

ever since i was a young child, one of muh favorite movies was “the blues brothers”, which i have seen more times than i can remember. at first i was happy because it was one of the few R rated movies i was allowed to watch and had a few filthy f-bombs. overall it’s still a well written and constructed movie, stands the test of time, although does seem a little dated, but in a good way, shows the skills of john landis, who i’m not sure is J or hwyte, and of the players, not least of all the genuine comedy skills of albanian belushi and canadian ackroyd. also i believe john belushi was moreso a hwyte albanian than a turkish mud albanian. his brother jim looks basically hwyte while john was a bit more swarthy.

belushi was a drug doing degen like chris farley, but like farley, he was genuinely funny.

and yeah MY POINT and I DO have one, is I can look back now with new eyes and see the jooification of even this Quaint Old Movie. The blues brothers were antiracist from the beginning, hanging out with tons of blacks and IDOLIZING black musicians.

MY POINT is this was one of my first exposures to NEO NATZEEZ, with the Illinois Nazis in the movie with….John Daniels? John Glover? the Laugh In Guy, as their leader. Even from a young age I was impressed by the impressive speech he made: “white men, white men, the svastica is calling YOU. the Joo is using the Black as muscle against YOU. so what are you gonna do about it, whitey? just sit there and take it? no! you will join us, the national socialist hwyte people’s party.” which i recently learned was actually the original name of GLR’s ANP. and i am sure the character was based heavily on GLR hehehehe.

i didn’t understand why there was SUCH an angry crowd against the nazis. was what he was saying so bad? why did the blues brothers HATE the illinois nazis? then we see that the fuhrer’s second hand man has been secretly in gay luv with him. there is also a scene where we see him blatantly smoking a corncob pipe, which has got to be a reference to GLR.

also look at the country rednecks in the country bar and the way they and Country Bob and the Good Old Boys are portrayed as Uncool Rednecks.

It’s all still pretty funny and I can never CONDEMN the movie, and I will never not want to watch it while cuddling with a Nice Hwyte Hwaifu…..but I will be sure to HWYTESPLAIN the parts of the movie is not so nice to hwytes.

plus i generally like the black music too: blues, old time rock and roll, etc. the band is SOLID. and you can’t crap on a classic performer like ray charles. well other than to say he was probably a horrible person who was a heron addict and beat his wife and cheated on his wife and was prob a horrible father hahahaha. some good songs tho! and that makes it all ok!

so yeah, still a good movie, but it has a lot of questionable stuff in there that you dont notice when you are young.

no i dont think seeing it 60000000 times since a young age really HARMED me. it still give me good feels of nostalgia of being A Young Child. I just want the Notsees to be portrayed more sympathetically hahahahaha. more stuff about blacks and joos bad nooz hahahahaha.

mar 20

it is easy to survive the low stress workday thank god, but i hate not being a TOUGH as a WOMAN, to handle a stressful job 60 hours a week. im surpirsed MORE peopel dont abuse drugs and alcohol. well because they would probably LOSE THEIR JOBS if they did. you cant just half ass your job, because then you lose your job.

but i was so tired upon coming home i immediately laid down, watched law and order, and took a bit of a powernap. maybe it was because i took a benedryl last nite.

normal people cant take a powernap after their job. they have to drink gallons of coffee and 10 monster energy dranks to get thru their busy 10 hours a day, then come home and crash but you cant sleep because your mind is reeling from the busy day but you need to sleep but cant so you have to take some kind of drugs to slow you down. either sleeping pills or alcohol is a very popular choice hahaha. MJ would not hurt either haha.

and i went to bed at a decent hour and drank a lot of coffee while i was there!

i do a decent job and act pretty normie while i am there. but i hate that at the end of the day, i am still not as TOUGH as a 22 year old GURL. very emasculating. its GOOD to feel TOUGH. its BAD to feel WEAK and SOFT.

i was thinking of “erotic fiction” which is kinda pornographic but not AS degenerate because you arent using and destroying actual live gurls in order to produce it. other than maybe perverting the mind of the person writing (and of course reading) it.  but its not a machine that destroys heaps of young women. so yes i think it is less degen than actual porno. still not ok though. MIGHT be useful to wean off a porno addict. thats a big maybe though.

anyway i dont really care. im not tempted to look at porno. i AM tempted to do MJ all the time. just think about it all the time like a gurl thinking of her loverboi and the day he can get out of prison and they can finally be togther again.

damn have this god damn ice cream and ate too much of it. thankfully this is not a regular thing. it is caramel ice cream which i really like. ate too much of it. is this “emotional eating” because i was feeling weak and soft and pvssy and weak? eating too much ice cream certainly doesnt HELP those things! thankfully i dont often buy or eat ice cream. so its not like im gonna eat the whole container in 1 day then run out and buy another. fook no.

my good idea for the day was to get a thick black marker and draw a huge Hakenkreuz on your chest like the tat sported by weev or american history x. do this before you bang a broad. that way she can see the beliefs of the man who is drilling her, and it is bound to have an effect on them, subconsciously at the very least. looking down at the man pounding you and see the symbol of the ebil natzees. wow. maybe it would make the woman less likely to be a race traitor in the future. i cant see any downside to it. JUST DO IT. i would seriously luv to do this myself. chip away at her idea of herself as a nonracist. well if you were such a nonracist, then you wouldnt be loving getting fooked hard by a natzee with a svastica on his chest staring right at you!

well, i guess this could backfire and she could say, welp now i HAVE to run out and fook a negro ASAP to prove im not a natzee.

then she would have done that at some point ANYWAY, you’re just speeding up the inevitable and can NEXT her quicker and save more of your valuable time for a woman who is worth your time.

fooking DO this. draw a svastica on your chest with a black marker and bang the woman. make sure she is facing you hahahahahahaha.

tom brady goes to bed at 8:30 pm because he is serious about his sleep. not that i idolize a feetsball sportsball negroball j00ball player, but he seems like a healthy goy. so what time does he get up in the morning? dont know. probably about 5 am.  that is when i get up. alarm rings at 5 am, i sip coffee till 5:30 and watch the news, see how negros shot each other, get the weather and traffic. the time passes very quickly. at 530 i get out of bed, continue drinking coffee, take a shower, get ready.

yeah you should start with GLR’s hwyte power book. it is written in a very weaponized style, to shake you up, from the very first page, for the next…30 pages or so. it has not stopped shaking me on every page and i am on page 23 now. just comes out with all guns blazing. describes the problem explicitly: disgusting degeneracy. describes the SPIRITUAL SYPHILIS which afflicts hwyte youth and how religion wont work on them. he hasn’t talked so much about the JQ yet, but I am 1433000000000% sure he will soon.

it is easy to imagine him reading this in the form of a powerful passionate speech. you could go around reading passages to people like speeches.

https://archive.org/details/WhitePower_189

READ THIS LIFE CHANGING BOOK NOW, IT WILL TURN YOU INTO A WINNER.

i have never read something written in the 1960s that reads like it was written TODAY. RIGHT NOW.

HAIL GLR! HAIL VICTORY!!!!!

hehehe. that feel that if someone asks you who would you want to meet of anyone who lived in history and you can’t even tell them. you can’t say AH. you can’t say GLR. people don’t know who GLR is but you can’t explain who he was without making you look like a psycho for wanting to meet him. i guess you could LIE and say He was a Political Activist in the 1960s. He was anti-Communist like Joe McCarthy!

why the hell would you want to meet joe mccarthy?

lemme google this rockwell guy- american NATZEE PARTY??!?!?!?!?!?!?! he’s as bad as HITLER! he has a SVASTICA on his arm!!!!!!!!!

believe me. i took AP US history in high school and they never mentioned rockwell. i never heard of him until a few years ago.

yeah they mentioned mccarthy. but by that time i think i was getting tired of skool. i recall AP history involved a ton of reading and i barely remembered any of that stuff.

i was getting sick of school and homework and reading stuff that wasnt important to me; i was starting to get interested in MJ and alcohol; i didn’t realize the importance of history like this.

shit i took AP european history and obviously SHOULD have enjoyed it, reading an in depth history of hwyte people. I started out enjoying it but a few months into it, i was like this is too much reading. i dont remember any of this stuff. what does all this matter.  didnt understand how the history of the joos mattered, the turks and ottomans and muslims, common law and all that. shit i still dont hahahaha. it was a lot to bite off and hard for a 15 year old to put into perspective. maybe if you explained to me, these joos are the reason gurls today are such stupid sluts hahahaha. and then traced THAT back to communism. and kinda worked backwards from the present, stuff that mattered to me at the time. which admittedly most of it was stupid and degenerate.

nonetheless the average kid in my high school did JUST FINE in life, so i was/am just an OUTLIER. a BAD SEED. I would have been a WEIRD CASE ANYWHERE I went to school. but i feel that in the “right kind” of “radical” high school i might have done better. like homeschool, or artsy fartsy high school, or STEM high school, or Manufactuing Machining Shop High School. really, any one of them would have been a GAMBLE.

would I have been less Angry and Nihilistic if I had been successful with Gurls from a young age? yeah probably hahahaha tbh. but MOST boys ARENT successful with gurls when they are 16, and they have to watch all the gurls their being sluts with older scumbag guys.

i bet i would have liked reading GLR at age 16 just for the SHEER EDGINESS of reading a NAZI. i know I was interested in the evil natzis, hitler, the evil svastica, because i was interested in The Bad Guys. Anything Evil or bad. serial killers. varg vikernes killing guys and burning churches.

pretty ironic that varg turned out to be a really GOOD guy who I would be sticking with 20 years later, an similar thing with AH and the natzees – they weren’t REALLY the bad guys. so even though I’ve outgrown my edginess and interest in Bad Guys, I’m more interested in these Good Guys than ever before.

I probably would have found mein kampf to not be a fun read, but I bet I would have liked GLR. I have even worse ADD now and his writing is very to the point and not a problem for people with the attention span of a fly. like me.

a book like “hwyte power” could have HELPED me at age 16, but I didnt really read ANYTHING back then. i did all my reading for school, i did ENOUGH stupid READING.  i never developed a LOVE OF READING like ALL Smart and Successful people do. Sad!

READ THIS BOOK RIGHT NOW. BUY IT and read it over and over again. give it to all young men you know. buy cases of it and go to the nearest middle school and give it to all the white boys. maybe even the hwyte girls too.

mar 21

hwyte power. this shit is real. saw something on local tv news of an ALT RIGHT WHITE SUPREMACIST NEO NAZI flyer at a place, the police are trying to figure out who put these EVIL NAZI FLYERS up. the photo was very nonthreatening. it just talked about how white population percentage has gone way down and gave links to two very awesome websites and contained the words alt right.

but the way the media reports on it, they are clearly trying to frame it so that the FIRST THING ANYBODY THINKS OF when they hear the words alt right is “EVIL NATZEE.” alt right? whats that mean? oh. even racist natzis who want to oven jooz and lynch blacks and genocide nonwhites.

well are they wrong? hahahaha.

yes because we dont advocate violence or genocide. like GLR we are willing to pay BILLIONS of dollars to Send These People Back. wouldnt you pay TRILLIONS of dollars in taxes for a Nice Hwyte Country? Transport the people back to africa, asia, middle easy, and give them each fookin 100k USD to make a new life with. why the hell not.

i hope the police are not looking very hard for these ebil natzees. as GLR said, the local police are not our enemy. they probably sympathize with us. i should be trying to JOIN this local alt right group. but they would prob say nope youre too big of a loser to join us, we WILL take your money though.

YOURE NOT GOOD ENOUGH FOR US, BUT WE WILL TAKE YOUR MONEY hahahahaha.

the real problem is me wanting to give money to a group that wouldnt have me as a member. the real problem is me not being good enough to join the groups  want to be a member of!

i mean i have come to the acceptance that i am not high quality enough to represent The Movement, but I want to SUPPORT and HELP the movement, possib by giving money. yeah i guess it does suck to think, well, YOU are not good enough, but your damn MONEY is. thank me for my money and give me a roman salute at least hahahahaha. LET ME STUFF ENVELOPES AT LEAST hahahahahaha.

well we dont stuff envelopes any more. thats VVN 1.0. there will be no flat earth renegade radio flyers hahaha.

yeah small business cards leading to daily stormer or TRS, that’s fine.

i mean thats basically a hate crime goy. let’s try to find the hateful natzees who left these tiny cards with a website on them. literally.

maybe i will be ARRESTED if i wear muh DAILY STORMER t shirt in public hahahaha. what a THOUGHT CRIMINAL!!!!!!

NEW WEEV VIDYA

its a big deal when he posts a 10 minute video from his toilet hahaha.  did he really have to call out richard spencer as a trust fund baby in the description. i’ll allow it as long as it doesnt turn into a high investment thing, but i think spencer is tougher than weev thinks he is. weev is prob tougher than spencer is though. well, nothing probably about it. he almost certainly is.

weev also had a good recent interiew with cantwell

i know i watched it and linked it but should watch it and link it again

weev should do vidyas every DAY

and yes you should send him dnations I DO hahahahahahahahah

and yes he certainly does NEED them more than spencer

went to bed early yesterday but took like 90 minutes to fall asleep instead of usual 45 hehehe.

i guess weev has a GF nao. well good for him, im sure she’s hwyte. i just didnt think i would see him settle down with a woman bc he is an alpha male and has hsi choice of women. well maybe he has made his choice now! obviously he SHOULD choose a wife and start having children. shit a man of his stature needs SEVERAL wives producing children SIMULTANEOUS so that he can eventually have 100, 1000 children.

create a new human life ERRY DAY!!!!

i would prob be okay with dating a single mom where her kid was weev’s baby hahahahaha.

so hypothetically let’s say weev responded to one of my semi-bantzy comments with possibly some own bantz of his own, and then i bantzed him back saying, yeah im already donating to you hahahahahaha. well WEEV I am only giving you like 20 dollars a year, maybe  WEEV is saying he is too good for my money. or he’s calling me a joo for giving him an OFFENSIVELY SMALL donation. that would be hilarious if weev bitched about that just like fatherland jim did when i gave him a TEENY WEENY donation.

although i would prefer weev’s approval because I respect and admire him , hahahaha.

but yeah not much we can do if the people we want NOT to reject us, reject us. wouldnt be the first time, wont be the last time. it sucks though. but its not like weev can BAN me from watching his videos and listening to his stuff. he can make me feel like an idiot for donating to him, since NOBODY is Cucky enough to Donate to the hand that Bites Who Feeds It!!!!

so i would just donate more to the daily stormer until something happened where they complained about me donating, hahaha.

oh well.at least i am putting myself out there, making moves, learning things. well, at least doing things. saying, i least i tried with so and so, and then they rejected me, the end.

im still scared to go back and see how people responded to my daily stormer post. still scared to see how george responded to my questions in his q&a vidyas. i have new evidence that he is a 1433 bad goy and i couldnt be happier. this is a great way to be, but i wont blow his cover. ideally i would like him to Come Out, but that’s his right to do that when he wants.

i just dont want people i admire to scorn and reject me hahaha. i want to be part of their club. but im not cool enough. im not tough enough. im not hardcore enough. i dont give enough money. im not interesting enough. i dont work hard enough etc etc etc always SOMETHING. FOOK it. FOOK it. no good deed goes unpunished.

i dont care, everyone i like can reject me, its not gonna kill me. i can always find another pro white thing to donate to. hey i can always give money to stormfront hahahaha. or vnn. or counter currents hahahaha. dr greg is nice enough to write me a THANK YOU NOTE for a tiny donation! HA!

bbbbut these are all old men in version 1.0 who are lonely and bitter and dont have wives or children because they were born too early! they were born during the dark ages when you were Too Weird To Mate if you advocated for hwytes.

Well I too lost my YOUTH to the joos. now all i can do is secretly donate tiny amounts of money to people who dont want it hahahahaha. and sm0ke weeeeeeed secretly. never be tough enough for a 28k a year job, or hwyte wife or children. damn. so what the hell do i look forward to? the fact that my RACE, with miniscule and unwatned help from ME, is finally turning the tide. that the sleeping goy finally woke up.

i am jumping to conclusions, nobody has said stop donating to me, weev hasn’t rejected me, he was just having ONE playful BANTZ, this is what men do many times a day. i wouldnt last a DAY in australia!!!! and probably they do this in russia and ukraine too, where weev is now. call each other cyka blyat all day. its a TERM OF ENDEARMENT!

i always forget this. i cant handle the bantz with real MEN!

i guess i can, it just takes longer and i have less tolerance for it hahaha.

i guess the MMPI is the most scientific personality test. it has 560 questions and measures 50 diff things, none of them good.

ok. chill out. take it easy. just say NO to negative thoughts. NO. STAHPPPP.  I will conquer negative thoughts and turn them OFF. I will be aware and Mindfull of the current year. I am watching “double indemnity” on tcm and  i hear this is a good movie, i should pay attention to it. i am playing .02/.04 poker when i usu like to play .01/.02.  i am charging mp3 player and have a new episode of fatherland on it which just came out today.

double indemnity. insurance scam. were insurance companies as jooish scams in 1938 as they are now? the idea is that they minimize risk for people so that entrepreneurs can take risks, start businesses, create jobs, make money, GDP Growth. not sure it happens this way. not sure gdp growth is an always good thing. who cares if you create jobs if they are part time walmart type jobs? or the jobs are so stressful you cant even handle them and snap like private pyle going postal? how does that improve your quality of life? because you’re not homeless on the streets sucking dick for a place to sleep indoors, or clean clothes, or a meal.

billy wilder was a joo, i do know that much, and “some like it hot” was pretty degen and jooish. and the stars of double indemnity are bad immoral and jooish, trying to get away with murder. but supposedly a classic movie. it seems pretty watchable. better with a waifu to cuddle of course hahahaha.

 

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HUHWHYTE HUHWHORKERS

wed aug 2

looked up the amount of money i spent during muh unemployment and was horrified and disgusted. i am not a big spender! but somehow i spent a lot of money! essentially blew through a Larger Than Average Emergency Fund!!!!!!!!

heh. the hugest expenses were, by far, car related (aka useless shit tier insurance) and going to see the SHRINK. everything else was DWARFED in comparison to that. even going out to restaurants to play my weekly game was NOTHING in comparison to those two things. also the local grocery store / supermarket was a big thing, but thats not surpirsing.

i made 152 dollars on mturk hehehehe.

yep. car insurance, shrink, and grocery store were biggest expenses because i dont have to pay rent like NORMIES because i am a neet. now, the grocery store should involve a lot of stuff that i am buying for the fam, and or gifts for them. spent more on gifts for them .

cant break down the many categories of stuff i bought at the grocery store, which also includes gas, clothes, food, nonfood.

also its funny that shitty, useless, absolutely cheapest car insurance was the #1 biggest expense. and Budget Shrink once a month was a little below that. my biggest entertainment expense, my weekly, sometimes twice weekly game, didnt even come close. or me buying clothes like a madman. spend 488 dollars on clothing. and that was all this year. well from july to dec 2015 i was pretty much completely dead.

i mean i try to “give money to muh fam” whenever i possibly can by buying them stuff, because they refuse to Charge Me Rent like a Normie fam would, like they SHOULD, because not to is to enable muh neetism, so i fight against that by essentially slipping money into their wallet when they arent looking hahahahaha.

https://mint.lc.intuit.com/questions/1136258-trying-to-change-a-category-not-working

this is exactly the kind of tech support my old company would give, the type of “advice” that woman was great at giving. somebody says the feature is not working. tech support assumes the user is doing it wrong, and gives the the “right” steps. this is exactly what the user IS doing….and it is not working. there CLEARLY is a technical issue that needs to be looked at and acted on by the company. but they sit their silent and just imply that you’re doing it wrong.

spent 369 on muh weekly hobby during muh 17 months of shitty neetness. honestly less than i expected. but oh yeah one place doesnt take credit cards. all this data is coming from muh credit card. i do not use cash anymore for this very reason. analytics. data. reports. trends.

took benedryl because i got the hankering to sm0ke MJ…..but of course i dont have any. might have some in jan 2019 god willing. 2 more years. legal MJ hehehehe. hope to get it on the ballot in 2018, where it would PROBABLY pass, but it possibly could not pass. maybe 60 40 odds hehehehe. of passing.

shit i would even be willing to take a TINY dose of mushrooms. but it has to be TINY. i would rather not feel anything than feel anything. because a bad trip is just not worth it. at all. it will put you into a world of panic, dread, emptiness, despair, fear, hopelessness, death hahahahaha. but good trips can give you the opposite of all that. and that is what i am looking for.

always take less of whatever drug it is. you know who tells you to take MORE? druggie degenerates. OVEN YOURSELF.

i am happy i have totally resisted the urge to type that womans name into google and try to stalk her that way. prob find her linkedin and instagram where she is posting images of her fooking negros hahahahahaha. making spelling errors and poor writing on her linkedin for her Tough Stressful Job where she makes a lot more money than me.

her name getting in the News for being so good at her Career she became an Expert. or maybe doing Activism for one of her Causes. or she went back to school, got highest honors, and is getting a Grad or Law degree.

i mean she doesnt have a unique name so when i searched her before all this shit happened, like in oct 14 to june 15 when i was in luv with her, she wouldnt even be on the first 2 or 3 pages of google. just other people with her same name.

now if you search my name on google, you immediately get my linkedin, my twitter, on the very top of the first page, and i am happy with that. but i really SHOULD have many company and skool awards and blurbs about honors and awards ive won, me and my unique name just got promoted, just spearheaded a 50 million dollar project, etc. got married to a beautiful 22 year old gurl, had a 3rd child, bought a house in a 100% huhwhyte neighborhood, etc, getting respect from respected people, etc.

but yeah. if someone wanted to get in touch with me, they could find my email address REAL easy. SHE could find my email address if she just googled muh name. moron probably couldnt spell it right hahahahahahahahahahahahaha. i am so desperate for her to google me, find the email, and contact me. because she blocked my email and deleted it so she doesn’t know what it is anymore hehehehehe. and she desperately wants to apologize to me and luv me, but she doesnt’ know how to contact me. what bullshit. then she could contact at least 2 people we mutually know. or have someone do that for her. or type my name into google. she OBVIOUSLY doesnt WANT to.

WANT. WILL. WILLINGNESS. are you WILLING to do this. this WILLINGNESS is the most important thing. I dont care if anyone ever UNDERSTANDS me. that’s way too much to ask. i would never expect that. i dont even udnerstand myself. i just want them to luv me hahahaha. thats way better than Understanding. I guess LISTENING is important though. but understanding really isnt. i will never complain about being MISUNDERSTOOD. well, except that she misunderstood my motives. yeah that i care a lot about. not being seen as a niceguy who betrayed her by wiating in the wings, waiting to pounce, ulterior motives etc.

benedryl. makes a man tired hehehehe.

dec 24

heh. xmas eve. benedryl last night. was tired. crashed into bed, slept pretty Well, but past 830 am i could not get back to sleep. even though i still felt tired and groggy and sleepy. still do now at 953 am. sleepy but you cant sleep. so i just am thankful i slept a few hours later than muh New Normal wake up time of 515 am.

i was always anti authority. when i was young i disliked and had no respect for my teachers. well the majority of them. some of them i liked. but i never thought, wow, i LUV this teacher, I want to be a teacher when I Grow Up. I said, this is a sucky profession, it attracts mean nasty people, those who cant do teach hahahaha, and those who cant teach teach at my school hahaha. (and the corrolary of this really pretty offensive maxim is, those who DO, cant teach!)

so why bother trying to teach or learn anything. just sm0ke weed all day and jerk off, try to bang sluts.

in high school i had a better understanding and more respect for teachers or teaching. but i knew the teachers in my private skool made way less money than the rich, lazy, spoiled, entitled public skool teachers, who also didnt give any homework and made skool fun and easy for their students, and 16 yo old gurls were throwing themselves at you in these public schools.

but my teachers were men of principle! who would then be a bit autistic, weird, or mean. maybe they were just butthurt they couldnt get a sweet public skool job.

and of course now i understand that public skool teachers dont really do that well, and you either do SUB jobs till you’re 30 years old, or get a job in the absolute worst, blackest, ghettoest district, and those Plum Teacher Jobs are simply going extinct because, big surprise, they cost the schools too much money. fookin boomers hahahahaha. way to kill the golden goose. fookin joos hahahaha. like the scorpion and the frog.

anyway now i appreciate what teachers do. will stand up for teachers against the teacher-haters, which i used to be. while being even more certain that i would never want this thankless, super stressful job.

old school boomer working class HATE teachers because they only work 6 months out of the year, only work 6 hours a day hahahaha, and see it as the easiest job ever.

but basically when i was IN high school and especially grade school, i wish i had more respect for the teachers heheheheh.

still i dont think thats what screwed me up though. maybe it was just my general disrespect for authority. i didnt’ think anyone knew what they were talking about. i know just as well as they do. well no i sure as fook didnt! well what do THEY know, they’re just underpaid losers at this private skool who couldnt get a sweet public school job! their wife left them and their kids hate them!

also i was butthurt that i “had to” go to a private skool with no gurls. cuz i was absolutely OBSESSED with secs and gurls, even more than i am now. truth is, if i had gone to one of those fantasy public school paradises, i probably would have been bullied by the boys AND rejected by the girls, for being an omega male hehehehe.

then i went to college and the “teachers” here were wildly successful. they were professors at a famous university. of course they were respected, their wives didnt leave them. there were shitloads of beautiful 18-21 year old gurls. and i didnt know how to deal with them. i was frozen in fear and couldnt bring myself to talk to them.

yep 33 inch pants would be just perfect. this means i must continue to lose weight until 32 inch pants would be just perfect.

i guess Dr Phil would be a celebrity, well know, famous version of the type of profession i could see myself doing. helping people with their emotional, relship, family, behavior problems.

who are other famous shrinks? dr keith ablow I hear is pretty good. i hear Dr Laura is pretty good although a J.

i guess tel aviv is the party city of israhell. beaches and clubs and all that. 20 year old israeli gurls in tiny bathing suits. who have absolutely no respect for secs as the life creating act. just want to have fun fun fun. and i absolutely would never want to have babies with them hahahaha. shit yeah i would race mix with them. basically any light skinned 20 year old gurl i would race mix with.  would never make babies with.

maybe i want to be like roosh, traveling the world and banging 20 year old sluts. it really doesnt sound bad. i mean i wish more of these white sluts turned him down. all of them. i dont want white women to be sluts and ESPECIALLY not race mixing sluts going for swarthy persians.

i apologize to intuit tech support because i wrote a kinda nasty comment to them on their shitty tech support article where it appeared there was a bug in the program, then right after i read the shitty article and left the nasty comment that prob wont get read anyway, the program started working again. but i swear i was doing it right! what the hell was i doing wrong? it wasnt a complicated process, it was jsut trying to change the category of a transaction. from what it is defaulted to, to something of my choosing. important necessary feature sure.

well i never attack level 1, i basically attack level 2 and above. for letting shitty service continue. for treating customers like idiots. passing the buck and giving me the runaround. i want a level 2 person to tell me WHEN this is going to be fixed. if its a month or 6 months, FINE. just let me know that poeple who CAN fix it are AWARE of it and PLAN on fixing it. dont just give me a patronizing poorly written response telling me what ive ALREADY DONE. do you really think I’m THAT STUPID. again, I know this isnt the level1 person’s fault. really they should just do away with level 1 and make level2 the new level1. essentially meaning, give the level1s about 100 times more training so they dont always seem so damn inexperienced. but yeah thats a thankless job. even worse than teaching hahahaha. its like teaching something you dont even KNOW. forget knowing how to DO. its teaching shit youve never HEARD OF before.

there were people in uni who took about the same ballpark of MJ as i did, and they turned out fine, ie, 6 gorillion times more successful than me, wife, kids, etc. probably the alcohol did more damage than the MJ. but the MJ did do damage too. because i would rather sm0ke MJ than attack my schoolwork aggressively. i wasnt so much shirking muh skoolwork to DRINK. but i did binge drink a lot on occasion. i honestly do think i did more stupid destructive shit because of MJ though. yeah. actually the MJ i think did more damage than the alcohol. at THAT time. but AFTER uni, the alcohol def did more damage than the MJ. now i dont drink any more and I Romanticize MJ and put it on a pedastal like it was a perfect waifu.

even though its obviously NOT! it makes me paranoid and anxious and panicky and nervous and awkward and lazy and neurotic and jooish and weak!

ive never had a royal straight flush or a nonroyal straight flush but i have had quads quite a few times. is that normal?

got ghoul surf the kali yuga shirt in mail on dec 24. i did not “need” it by xmas and I would rather the poor USPS slaves not slave on xmas eve, xmas day, or saturdays, or sunday amazon deliveries. or midnight shifts at the PO. or split shifts. or PSEs or casuals. i would pay more in shipping for those things.

i should join heimbachs traditionalist workers party because by god am i SERIOUS about Workers Rights, but also by god am I SERIOUSLY against all the leftist marxist jooish revolutionary commie SHIT The Labor Movement supports. I mean they are the leftest of the left and that’s very disappointing. it should not be that way. and maybe A True Populist Movement can give a better way than that.  right wing, traditionalist, JQ Aware, Huhwhyte Huhwhorkers.

all time, i have given 155 dollars to alt right causes. this includes tshirts which should PROBABLY be split because the entire cost of the tshirt does not go to the alt right guy, not even half, it goes to the jooish tshirt company. well, at least the company that does TRS’s tshirts is not jooish at all, and I wrote them a note with my order complimenting them for this.

anyway the size L ghoul shirt fits fine. i was worried about moving down from an XL tshirt to an L. DONT BE. just dont gain the god damn weight back.

hmm bitcoin peaking at like 890 dollars. quickly gonna sell 20 usd worth. buy low, sell high. and it is high. peaked and starting to come down. ok sold 25 USD. makin monay hahahaha.

going into mint and categorizing and recategorizing a bunch of shit.

http://www.tradworker.org/platform/

pretty good outlining of a political and MORAL platform hehehehe. dont know if heimbach is still involved here. welp there is nothing on the site for dnating.

 

 

GOOD ALPHA BAD ALPHA

dec 11

ok i wanna establish a timeline of muh political racial alt right journey in case i meet up with any real life people, and i SHOULD, that should be muh new years resolution.

in 2008 i was a shitlib and voted for obongo. in 2012 i was much better and voted for mitt. i know in 2012 i was also listening to william luther pierce speeches and writing a blog that sort of positioned me as a WN “ally”, like hmmm this is scary, but also interesting, and maybe not as scary as I think. I think i was linking to stormfront and definitely stuff like counter currents and mindweapons. this was in 2012, 13 at the latest.

oh yeah. in late 2012, i got rejected by woman 2012, and i said, welp, i’m gonna go ALL IN on this racist stuff. i was holding back because i didnt want to seem Weird To Women, but now, i’ve not nothing to lose. I distinctly remember climbing the stairs 3 a time in muh old workplace saying “superior huhwhyte body, superior huhwhyte mind, crush the k1k3s, huhwhyte huhwharrior” as kind of a mantra in late 2012 to encourage me as i suffered thru the loss of woman2012.

so yeah i guess 2012 was when i became “alt right” hahahaha.

but i thought, lets look at my amazon history and the books i bought, thats a pretty good indicator.

2010 – started using amazon. yeah a bit late i know. late 2010. 2 books only: “atomised” by houellebecq, and “the evolution of desire” by david buss. (evo psych.) not a bad start!

2011 – myth of male power by warren farrell, women theory and practice by bernard chapin, more houellebecq – platform and whatever. (platform was prob muh fav, decent writer here.)  breaking bad thrid season. escape from gangsta island by chapin.  some crimmus presents including a book for woman2012 hahahaha. stuff for family. day bang by roosh v, because i wanted to use day game to seduce a nice Day Woman like woman 2012. sorcery and religion by varg vikernes. season 1 of big bang theory. i cant believe i ever liked that show.

2012 – going january to dec here on all these. life at the bottom by dalrymple, heard of him from chapin, i know MW was a big fan as well. another warren farrell book i never fully read. righteous indignation by breitbart. war against boys by christina hoff sommers. you can see i was still big on mra/mgtow stuff, which i will not apologize for, it was necessary for muh development, and these people arent WRONG. also sommers or farrell arent woman shunning mgtows!!!! flipside of feminism by venker and schlafly, got autographed edition and i think phyllis schlafly went on to pass away soon after. america alone by mark steyn. i was listening to rush limbaugh radio and really liked when mark steyn hosted. he still is a great guy, so charismatic. radical son by david (((horowitz))). another chapin recommendation. interested there because horowitz went from communist to rightist. but def not alt rightist, hehehe.

liberty and tyranny by mark (((levin))). listening to some levin radio as well. never read the book. the long march by roger kimball, another chapin rec. didn’t fully read it but i didnt donate it either. freedom twenty five by frost. a kind of self improvement book by a decent PUA/Game writer, who was smart enough to potentially move beyond Game and Hedonism. not sure if he did. decent book actually. 4 hour workweek by tim ferriss, hahahahahaha.

here we go: confessions of a reluctant hater by grindr greggy johnson. i think i bought it from matt parrott’s bookstore, RIP. october 2012. muh first legit WN “alt right” book. interesting, at that time i was gettign rejected by woman2012, hehehe. good book by greg, i dont really hate greg, im just bantzing. greg is GREAT.

suicide of a superpower by pat buchanan. great book. then a bunch of christmas gifts for people.

2013 AMAZON PURCHASES, jan to dec

CULTURE OF CRITIQUE by stefan molyneux hahahahaha in may 2013. yep that was a good move. i never finished it but want to hahaha. c# for dummies, some c# and asp.net and internet app security books.  racism schmacism by james edwards of the conservative cesspool. political cesspool sorry. christmas gifts. was gonna start my new shitty job and was getting a lot clsoer with That Woman this year. amazon slowed down.

2014

texas holdem for dummies hahaha. the unschooling handbook by griffith. how to talk to anyone by lowndes. one sheaf one vine by griffin. he wrote the pierce biography and there are chapters in the sheaf book on mindweapon and alex linder. this was in august 2014 when mindweapon was getting doxxed and slandered. fookin antiwhite pigs.

dumbing us down by john taylor gatto in sept 2014. i think i was starting to feel the need to Have Heirs, because I was thinking about how to best educate children.

dispossessed majority by wilmot robertson. an old school pro white classic.

thus spoke zarathustra by freddy n because why the hell didnt i have this book. still havent read it tho hahahaha.

death of the west by pat buchanan. great book.

bunch of christmas gifts including a very nice one for That Woman. damn.

the shy man syndrome by gilmartin. was concerned clearly about how things were not going so well with That Woman at the end of the year. remember i got feelies around october and wanted to talk to her….but she was avoiding hanging out with me. the last we really HUNG OUT was in sept 2014. this book is the incel bible by the world’s leading incel phd hehehehe. it paints such a bleak picture that i had to stop reading it. good book though. just dont read it until you have a huhwhyte huhwhyfu.

2015 AMAZON

king of the hill season 6. watching KOTH was one of my only pleasures in life at this time with the shitty job and That Woman refusing to hang out with me. (but she still responded to my texts nicely and said we would hang out soon.) a book to help me with muh shitty job. by march 2015 i was obsessed with studying in off work hours and became totally consumed and crazy. cleveland show season 2 dvd. another decent show. the bias against guns by john lott in may 2015. i was laid off and a shitlib swpl acquaintance got into a big tirade on how guns are evil and need to be controlled, severely limited, and i wasnt confident enough to argue against him, but i knew he was wrong hahaha. judas priest live vengeance 82. CLASSIC show.

sept 2015 getting past your breakup by susan elliott. hehehehehe. yep that happened.

customer service training 101 by evenson. i felt i was losing all my customer service skills and was trying to mentaly prepare for tuff situations. i lost ALL my confidence to deal with tough customer situations. felt so weak. still do actually.

2016

a guide to customer service skills for the service desk professional by donna knapp. a customer service book for tech support help desk people. pretty good book, should have got this when i started that job. funny i only read it after i QUIT.

a RAM chip to upgrade muh computer. good call. some clothes with a gift card.

the dialectical behavior therapy skills workbook by mckay et al. hmm just bought this. not a bad book.

man going his own way by bernard chapin in dec 2016. not alt right, probably MGTOWish judging by dat title, but I wanted to support uncle bern for xmas hehehe.

a book related to the field of muh new JOB. I wanted to buy some relevant books RIGHT AWAY. still waiting on that one too.

wow thats all folks.

TLDR: I bought my first officially alt right, pro white book in october 2012, but was sowing the seeds well before that. if game and mra and mgtow can be considered sowing the seeds.

well, in 2012, they kind of WERE! and when i say “game”, i mean deeper thinkers like heartiste and houellebecq. and in 2012, mgtow seemed like a damn good idea!

i was reading heartiste even when i was a shitlib, just because i was so obsessed with women and why they were so ridiculous, and why i couldn’t even pull skanky promiscuous sluts who would fook ANYBODY EXCEPT ME! so heartiste/roissy and chapin got me started on muh journey. and those dirty sluts who wouldnt bang me or even hang out with me.

come on, youre a KNOWN slut, youre SUPPOSED to be EASY!!!! hahahaha. arent you mad at the patriarchy that oppresses you? dont you even know about any of this, YOU IGNORANT SLUT?

and then, THANK GOD, i came to realize “the patriarchy” was bullshit.

hehehe anyway when you buy babbys first copy of CULTURE OF CRITIQUE, thats usually a good sign ahahahaha. as i recall, i had known about it LONG before i finally bought it, such that i felt I was buying it LATE, in may 2013.

so thats muh cred hahahaha.

 

might as well toss this one in here, while i am keeping On Top of New albums. i have known about wardruna for years, ever since like 2011 when i started investigating gorgoroth, and then gayhl, which brought me to wardruna, which is not super gay, and also features kvitravn who was a decent drummer for gorgoroth, and they are doing full nordic larpagan stuff here, but it doesnt sound ridiculously larpy, which makes me wonder if they feel some kind of connection deep in their nordic blood, which would be great. just speculating here.

anyway. pretty chill and beautiful neovolkisch stuff from people who have srs metal background. and they just came out with a new album, here it is.

yep shaving with the old fashioned single blade safety razor is great, a pleasure, a privilege, a nice smooth shave……..but it takes a damn long time. you cant do it quickly. which is its number one con by far. if you try to go fast you will prob butcher your face and you will still take a long time anyway.

in other words, it may take too long to shave this way BEFORE you go to your job. unless you get up super early. i’ve just been using the electric razor so i can get an OK shave and not cut my damn face and do it pretty fast.

wow big snowstorm here, prob gonna be a bad winter, cuz last winter was so GOOD and light on snow and cold. which means this winter is gonna be fookloads of snow and ridic low temperatures.

just waiting around to go back outside, clear moar snow, then go to bed hehehe and get up at 5 am and maybe clear more snow again hahahaha.

have i uploaded this picture yet? it is very educational:

f05q4jp

i found it on MPC, and somebody bantzed PMan saying he was the third guy under Beta Negative, hahaha.

but yeah my audience is clearly delta negative and below. i identify most with omega positive. for sure.

also it neglects to mention that beta males CAN get women. they are just always at risk of losing these women to alphas.

those thuggish negros who women leave you for and who end up cheating on or dumping the women you luved? these deadbeat thugs would be alpha negative. the badbois. all the women see is the alpha part. they cant tell good from bad, alpha positive from alpha negative hahaha.

great concept here hahahaha

QUOTE

”  neveragoodtime 30 points 1 year ago
For you white knights on the fence, this isn’t an issue of men who are intimidated by a strong woman’s past sexual exploits. That if she tells you those days are over and she doesn’t do those things anymore and he was a jerk anyway and she loves you for you and sex isn’t that important anyway, she must be telling you the truth now. You’re not being compared to what she had in her past, you’re being compared to what she couldn’t have. She never had the alpha, she just f00ked him, and therefore thinks she could have had him, but obviously she didn’t lock him down. It’s not that you can’t compete with her exes, you can’t meet her expectations, and she will always be less happy in your relationship. ”

giphy-1

http://archive.is/iBo8D

glad to see this page has been already archived twice hahahaha

https://therationalmale%5Bdot%5Dcom/2012/01/06/the-slut-paradox/

another good page, only not linkin directly because i just dont want to leave a pingback. but i do support rollo tomassi i suppose insofar as this article and his view on game, women, the red pill, etc

and then of course i think of that woman. she will prob be an alpha widow. well her major BF, i knew him, and i got along with him, i didnt have any big problems with him, i wanted him and her to work things out, but he just wasnt feeling it. was he a true alpha? he was pretty damn handsome. but he was autistic as fook, and prone to despair, drinking, and being an antisocial grumpy asshole apparently, with no friends, who just wanted to sit around and use the internet. describing him he sounds like a neet virgin. but he was handsome and he had kind of a hardass confidence i guess. wasn’t scared of gurls. but he was absolutely not a normie. kinda wish i had gotten the chance to get to know him better.

the short term bf was prob an alpha negative. so she’ll prob be hung up on HIM.

went outside and cleared snow THREE times today and it was STILL coming down. total snowfall of 7 to 12 inches hehehe. thats a lot for us before the new year. its prob gonna be a bad winter. gonna get up even earlier tomorrow (4.40 am) to blow some more snow. THANK GOD we have a snow blower. many people do not.

tried to do a new job task while i was at home today, basically logging into a system and making a report The Boss wants. but i can’t figure out how to make the report for all people, only one by one. it seem TOTALLY STUPID that the system would not give you a SQL-like way to make the query, and FORCE you to pick only ONE person/record at a time. there HAS to be a better way…..but i just don’t know it. i just wanted to show some initiative.

wore the new $20 walmart winter boots. they were great. kept feet dry and warm. even if they fall apart halfway through the winter they will be worth it.

but yeah i liked That Woman because she didnt seem like the Cynical, Nihilistic, Desouled, Corrupted, Ruined, Destroyed, completely Infantile Modern Woman that all the Game and “Red Pill” blogs talk about. She seemed like a Decent Woman. and she probably was and is. she just got scared and ran away when there was something she couldnt handle. SIMPLE. NOT ROCKET SCIENCE here. dont need a smart guy like ROISSY or rollo tomassi to explain it to me.

dec 12

normie wagies need to still put in a grueling day of slavery. the lucky ones can hope they get a slow day. the unlucky ones will actually be BUSIER due to the bad weather. or it will have no impact because they are just getting phone calls from all over the nation and or world, not just their immediate area.

http://www.depressionforums.org/forums/topic/128618-alone-and-afraid/

this goy is having a tough time, gets dumped harshly by the love of his life, she blames him directly, refuses to talk further, now he is stuck in a Self Blame Spiral! I posted on there to try to reassure him. she’s dumping him for ying about his age. now this is her right, and it’s not great to lie about your age…..but i totally sympathized. especially since i totally understand why you would lie about your age. i have thought about lying about my age. oh yeah i only just turned 30, therefore it’s a lot less weird that i have no relship experience and barely any secsual experience, hahahahahaha.  that as a 30+ year old man i have signif less relship and secs experience than a 20 year old gurl!

but 20 year old gurls are huge sluts who have way TOO MUCH secs experience.

besides women are the supply men are the demand, so it’s not really weird that women have Relship Experience starting right at…..age 18 onward. that they aren’t Single much, in other words. just DONT rack up a high number while you are busy not being single. keep it with a low number of guys. LTR’s.

maybe that woman’s first major bf wasn’t an alpha positive, but he was an alpha negative because he was grumpy and unhappy and stubborn and used to have a drinking problem and was content with mediocrity in his job until she encouraged him to get a higher paying (but still really shitty and stressful!) job. she stayed with him, started dating him, even when he was making like minimum wage. so she saw something in his cocky badboy personality, and also he was handsome.

and he wasnt SO alpha that he got bored with her and dumped her and cheated on her. well it sounded like he got bored with her, but he didnt cheat or dump. he just stayed with her and drank and got grumpy and distant. a true alpha would have just dumped her or cheated.

so does this make him more moral than an alpha? but an alpha can be moral too, if he dumps and doesn’t cheat. theres nothing immoral about DUMPING.

so i think he was somewhat lazy, or had a tendency to get stuck in ruts. i know that feel! except my ruts never involved being in a traditional monog rel with a nice, sweet, pretty, young woman! even when he was in a rut, he was alpha enough to pull that off.  also he was Her First, so that i think was very relevant to her staying with him and not giving up on him, when he had clearly given up on her.

so who’s she gonna be the Alpha Widow for, is my question. this guy or the short term guy who came after, who blatantly Did Her Wrong? probably that guy, because he was more alpha, AND he did her wrong. it’s hard to get over that. makes you want to be mean and break some poor omegas heart as the revenge you aren’t allowed to get on the bad alpha hahahaha.

in fact the first BF kinda seemed like a Beta Negative, but I guess he was handsome and confident enough, albeit unpleasant, and she was young and “inexperienced” and innocent and loving enough, to not give up on him, and to give him MORE than a good faith effort, that i wish she had given 10% of to ME. and not in a relship way, but just in a just friends, try to do the right thing, good karma sort of way.

had to make a post on that one. yeah him lying about his age is legit a dealbreaker, but i think he had good intent and didnt deserve that punishment.

QUOTE here’s my effortpost to him:  ”  Darn man, that is just horrible. IMHO it is very insensitive of her to essentially say “It’s all your fault, you caused this,” then shut down, then throw you away like a piece of garbage. I think the much kinder, gentler, mature thing, is to say some variation of “it’s not you, it’s me,” when you are ending a relationship that the other person doesn’t want to end, and you know that person is going to be hurt. Try to be as gentle as you can on them with something you know is going to hurt them, not say “this is all your fault” AND then shut down and refuse to discuss it further. That sounds really rotten to me, and IMHO a person who would do that to you is not someone you would want in your life. How would you treat someone if you wanted to dump them and you knew they still wanted to be with you?

How hard is it for the dumper to make some kind of good faith effort to be kind (yet firm) in dumping? Does she know this is adding insult to injury? I had a similar situation and I just blamed myself for many months, thought that I had done something horribly wrong, that I was a horrible person, maybe I was a horrible abuser to make somebody get rid of me like this.

Yeah it’s not great to lie about your age, and yes people do have the right to make a one-sided decision to end a relationship whenever they want, but I think that with that right comes the responsibility to be decent to the person you are dumping. Maybe she is trying to “punish” you for lying to her? Possibly she doesn’t even know why she’s doing what she’s doing, and is too immature to see how much it’s hurting you.

You are right, it’s impossible to find other things which can perfectly substitute for the unique joys of a close relationship. But the pitcher example given above is pretty good. It’s important to distract yourself with hobbies, work, exercise, and not replay this over in your mind too much, or blame yourself. But it’s also important to grieve what is indeed a very big loss for you.

I would also recommend going No Contact. Or maybe directly telling her she could have been a little more tactful and considerate when dumping you, would she like it if somebody dumped her like that? (Maybe she was dumped like that in the past, and this is her “paying it back”?)

Yeah lying can destroy trust, and I’m sure you’ve already learned your lesson about not lying about your age in the future. Were there other lies? It’s her right to not want to forgive your lie, but still I don’t think it warrants the “punishment” you’re getting.

Would she be willing to go to a relationship counselor with you? I hate to say it, but it doesn’t sound like she’s WILLING to do much of anything to meet you halfway here. Minimal/No Contact might be for the best here. Sorry she couldn’t be more of an adult with you.

How long were you together? I think you said 5 months? Is that the entire length of time you knew her? I don’t mean to minimize your pain, but it’s hard to fully know a person in 5 months. Maybe she was starting to show her “true colors”, that is, someone who’s not willing to make the effort to be committed to you and handle conflict maturely.

There’s no way to make this easier, just try not to blame yourself too much and get through 1 hour at a time! Feel free to post any updates.  ”

END QUOTE

went for 1 mile powerwalk in neighborhood afternoon after YUGE winter storm, 10 inches of snow. workplace was closed down. wanted to see what the neighborhood looked like in the light. really not bad. city did a good job of plowing roads. most people cleared their driveways and even sidewalks. but muh new shiny winter boots enabled me to trudge through snow and keep feet warm and dry. and even through wet cold SLUSH as well.

so that is really good. since i never had good winter boots before, that was always my somewhat valid excuse for not doing powerwalks in the winter. so now i can get a bracing 20 minute powerwalk in. sometimes it will be too cold to do longer. that is ok. but 20 minutes should be doable even in 10 degree weather. and it is a balmy 30 degrees right now. and these arent even GOOD winter boots, but the cheapest boots i could find at WALMART.

ate a TINY  chocolate coated donut, it was like 80 calories. this was not a large or even a medium or probably even a small donut, but a very small, mini, bite size MINI donut.

its not eating fried meat that makes the sp1c n1gz too fat to walk, its Sweet Treats like donuts and chips and stuff. cakes, donuts, cinnabons. these are the absolute worst things.

not sure how great yandex is, but i just made an email there because andrew anglin mentioned the name, and i wanted something slightly permanent to go along with my second disqus account which pretty much gives away my location when i upvote Real Talk comments in the local paper hehehehe that i did not want linked with my larger Alt Right personality, like ooh look, this guy who upvotes trs also upvotes racist comments in the podunk times. that must be where he lives.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Yandex

info on the yandex co

selling muh info to the skype cabal who controls russia hahahaha

Arkady Volozh the founder and ceo is a JOO welp i shouldnt be so suprirsed.

i like that they have a background of the huge “the motherland calls” statue in volgograd. but this is where the dirty reds beat back the glorious NSDAP hehehehe. the russians are the bad guys hehehe. well theres good russians and bad russians. good russian bad russian hehehehe. you can guess that that bad russians arent really “RUSSIANS” at all. ((((RUSSIANS)))) hehehehe. PURGE THE BERGS & STEINS!!!!!

man. all the new people coming into TRS are way better goys than me. masters degrees in petroleum engineering, 20 year old young men with 3.9 GPA in mechanical engineering or math. military service. social skills from selling shit. manly non bitch hands from working in machine shops. knows how to fix shit. with people like this coming in, i should get banned just for being a loser hahaha. giving money to TRS is not enough. especially when i dont give a LOT hahahaha.

yeah well if they ban me i will stop giving hahaha. i dont think they would really BAN me for being a loser. i mean i am slowly moving away from that loserness. probably not fast enough for their liking……but they dont need to know those details.

it just sucks to find a group of people you like and respect, then worry about them rejecting you because youre not good enough for them. and when you compare yourself with them, well shit yeah, they have accomplished a lot more than you and they ARE a lot cooler than you!

yeah well they havent rejected me yet hehehe. no need WORRYING about it.

dec 13

went in to job. was very slow and easy. saw a half black half white woman about 25 years old who made me consider race treason. she had a masters degree and was a Young Professional. She appeared Significantly Younger than me. she clearly had her life and career in order! she was pretty darn attractive. good in shape body. BMI 20 or so hahaha. light mocha skin. green or gray eyes, NOT dark brown black eyes hahahaha. i think she was a Halfroon rather than a Light Skinned Black. I felt bad she didnt have a real race to call her own. I wondered about her racial identity. But she clearly had a masters degree and a decent career. all by the age of 25 and was very attractive. would TOTALLY bang. would NOT have chirren with.

got paperback physical book of “man going his own way” by UNCLE BERN. it is a large book but thin, like a coloring book hahaha. very nice cover art. he uses a lot of foul language he does not use on his videos. i do not mind at all hahahaha. i honestly think he just never found the right woman. maybe a combination of standards too high and just have bad luck. maybe he was too Laissez Faire when he should have been Dominant. but he IS dominant in his own way! i guess not in the way that women like though. unlucky! i know his first (and only) wife was BATSHIT crazy. i think he talks about these juicy details in the book. stories of his youth, college, etc, that he doesnt really share in his videos. LISTEN TO THE EAGLE! BUY THE BOOK!

i would like for him to get racially woke and or red pilled on the JQ and become more fascist and 14 words, obviously, but i dont think he ever will. unless maybe he were to join TRS and really listen to the goys there….. i guess it depends on how serious he is about having children. at 46, 47 years old, he may have RESIGNED himself to no children.

anyway i will never stop muh $1 a month dnation to uncle bern because he was big in getting me to where I am today. I might even increase that hehehe.

came home at 2:45 pm or so and immediately took benedryl to prepare self for an early bedtime at liek 8 or 9. i guess ideally i should do that on sunday afternoon. the trick is not to take it too late so you are not groggy the next day at 5 am hahahha.