WORSE THAN BEING ABORTED: STILL ALIVE TO SUFFER

july 7

had interview today, 5 people grilling me, 1 hour and 20 minute interview, 40k job tho damn.

then went on linked in and switched my settings to anonymous mode so i could look at people from my old job. started feeling bad. like damn they can handle taking confusing angry phone calls all day, how come i cant? they found new jobs, the are able to think fast and act quick. oh 3 people from my company went over to this other company. I WONDER if thats where SHE went too. oh i wonder if shes fooking one of those guys then. or maybe she already fooked him and now they hate each other but still work together.

how come just the thought of answering those calls and dealing with those weird problems strikes fear into my heart? i wish i could be AS GOOD as her in the stupid competition of life. compete with her on HER terms and PROVE that I am at LEAST as good as her, can do the same kind of ridiculous work, make the same decent money.

and now she goes on and makes new friends and knows the people we worked with, longer than I knew her….which was a pretty long time. and I am stuck in the past. and she has moved past me, and I am just a faded memory in her past, that she has mostly forgotten.

next on the listening:

diocletian: gesundrian

proclamation: nether tombs of abbadon (terrible reviews, as their well of ideas has run dry and they are just going thru the blasphemous motions. but I sorta think the production sounds best on this one. and I figure each album will sound exactly the same, so production is VERY important here.)

i should be talking about this interview hehehe.

i figure, they interview 5 people, that means you START OFF at a 20% chance of getting the job. then depending on how you do, you go up or down. probably not more than 10% either way.

anyway it was me, and 5 managers, in a room for 1 hour and 20 minutes. 5 people making 25 bucks an hour to spend 90 minutes of Paid Time with ME hahahahaha.

ok did 5 mile walk, listened to those things. i just dont have great headphones. i have 10 dollar headphones when i should invest in some good 50 dollar headphones, but i just cant right now till i establish an income stream other than 2 dollars a week on mturk hahaha. i could only stand about 10 to 14 minutes of the proclamation. but its nice to come back to that noise for 14 minutes a day or so.

the diocletian sounded sorta like angel corpse but with some slow parts. great sound, again hurt by my headphones. great drum and guitar sound, great fast blasts, no triggers like some f4ggy death metal band hahaha.

i just hate sounding incompetent with a caller who wants me to fix a problem, because I AM incompetent, and i DONT know what I’m doing. and i hate that SHE was better at that in the long run than me.

and if you can stay good at that in the long run, you can actually advance in the stupid tech support field. become a tier 2, then a tier 3, then a manager, get jobs at increasingly better companies. you just gotta tough it out. and I couldn’t do it, and she COULD. AND she doesn’t CARE about ME, when I KNOW she once did. she was tough enough to do the job, and to KEEP doing the job a year later, but she wasnt courageous enough to SHOW CARE about ME. fooooooook.

i mean other women have been tougher and more competent than me. better at their jobs. doing tough jobs. cool under pressure. going gets tough, tough get going. other women have Bested me at that competition, but I didn’t care nearly AS much because they showed a lot more courtesy to me when they dumped me. they said sorry that I have to do this. and then went on to become hugely successful in their careers. just like THAT PERSON is going to be. I came CLOSE to looking her up on linkedin today. I thought she might work at this company several people from our company went to.

theres a difference between “taking the black pill” ie looking a unpleasant things, because you might learn a valuable lesson…….vs TORTURING yourself by COMPARING yourself to others unfavorably on linkedin. looking at all those fookin WINNERS on linkedin. or f4gbook or that matter. oh im so successful at muh career. i am not on the verge of a nervous breakdown and im getting MARRIED to a person I LUV and want to make babies with. we just had a baby. were having our second baby. chad just got promoted to Team Lead this year, which meant more money for our growing family. Stacy finished her masters degree in Talent Acquisition which resulted in a big pay raise for her too.

that fooking bullshit successful middle class normie STRIVERS talk about in their christmas card letters!!!!

so yeah. SOME blackpilling is ok, but I don’t think this comparing yourself is really helpful, nor is it legit blackpilling. its more digging yourself into a rut and putting yourself into a bad mood. better to just STOP, and just apply for another job, or go for a 5 mile walk and listen to EVIL raw black metal like blasphemy or proclamation hahahaha.

black lives matter hehehe how about MY life matters. I wanted MY life to matter to HER. not even in a tradwife luv sort of way, but just in GENERAL.  even before i fell in luv her life matter to me, and my life mattered to her. i just wished my life could have mattered to her at the END. rather than being murdered like an aborted child hahahaha.

now i know what that aborted child feels like with the silent scream, as it screams pleeeease mommy dont murder me, and then they get murdered anyway. and then you get to stay alive enough to be able to see that, and think about it for years hahahaha. and you wonder how could your own mother murder you hehehe.

so in a while its WORSE than being aborted! because you are still ALIVE TO SUFFER!!

at least the aborted baby has the privilege of not being able to suffer any more. they are put out of their misery!

july 8

foreveralone feels, an actual 30 year old wizard virgin with a youtube channel whoooooaaaaa

i mean he LOOKS like one! but he also doesnt look TOO bad, or irredemable. its sad.

instantly subscribed.

The “why are women fooked” question is actually really easy: because they don’t have to be good to pass on their genes. They just have to take a dick and keep the baby alive. The men have to slave, fight and die over who gets to keep them.

great quote from great trs thread on how bad women are hahaha

but yeah i might as well be a 30 year old virgin. i had secs 2 times with a gurl when i was 21………AND THEN NEVER EVER AGAIN hahahaha and now I am 30+.

its a really unique situation. there’s no manual for this. the wizards dont understand, the normie chads sure dont understand. i guess people can still advise you: be a stronger, better, man with purpose. then you can keep a woman from dumping you. easier said than done tho hahaha.

huge anti police shooting in dallas, its HAPPENING, 4-5 officers dead, wow, i mean i can honestly say stuff was NOT liek this when I was young. shit is objectively getting BAD.

i meditated on my desire to bang gurls up the ass and I figured it had to do with a desire to PUNISH them and cause them some pain. for not wanting anything to do with me, and also for Playing Around with the LIfe Creation Process so casually.

I was always kinda afraid of the Vag and Secs because I always understood THATS HOW BABIES ARE MADE. this is NOT a casual, fun process. if you want to have PURELY recreational secs, then do it up the ass like mexican sluts or f4gs. that’s the fookhole for people who REALLY dont want to have babies. and i dont want to have babies. babies are a BIG DEAL and Im not ready for that. so i dont want to treat the pvssy like some kind of casual funland.

and women are stupid and inferior for treating their OWN pvssies like that. theyre the ones who GET pregnant!!!! how can they NOT know this and need a man to mansplain it to them? because thats how women ARE. and I was like holy shit that sucks SO MUCH. How can I POSSIBLY respect or even LIKE women. they are DISGUSTING.

so hence the desire to bang them in the ass. to somewhat punish them, and also to show that I wanted to remove ALL chance of conception. well why not just use birth control.

because i’ve ALWAYS believe that BC is flawed. that its putting up an unnatural roadblock to something natural. and you just dont need to do that with the ass. because the ass is not MADE FOR REPRODUCTION. its made for expelling shit.

so yeah still its degenerate to want to put muh dick in an EXIT hole! I fully own and admit that. own muh degeneracy.

well its not like Im going out banging sluts in the ass, or watching porno of it! although I used to. but i havent looked at porno in….242 days.

the shit with the woman WENT DOWN 360 days ago. almost a year.

sent her the last email 326 days ago.

last got a haircut 101 days ago. and I am fully planning on getting a nice very short haircut TODAY.

later. got nice short level 1 haircut! very nice. do this more like every 2 months, not every 3 months. it was looking bad on the sides, like an unemployable loser neet wizard virgin. dont do this. i am scottish with spending money, but in this case, its WORTH THE MONEY. just spend the money and get a haircut every 2 months. they barber didnt even ask about muh JOB hahaha.

also now i look more masculine, like a real ross bay powerlifting black metal skinhead. i would also add 1433 to that, althought the ross bay cult is NOT associated with 1433. but they should really consider it! although the black guy in the band blasphemy hahahaha well i will give him a pass.

BUT really raw drunken satanic black metal is degenerate anyway, and degeneracy and 1433 is like OIL AND WATER.

so, switch all that drunken satan imagery with like Nationalistic War imagery. you can still have those kewl black and white drawings! just instead of goatz and sp00py skellys with goathorns, you can have like soldiers and fuhrers and gunz and tradfams and such.

being CONFUSED SUCKS. it kills your confidence and can lead to Chronic Stress.

also you feel like you are getting early onset dementia or alzheimers at age 35. WTF. that is very frustrating.

or was it just because you smoked too much MJ and drank too much alcohol before age 25? because ya sure did. sure screwed the pooch on that one. dicked the dog. fooked fido.

like worshiping satan and evil is stupid, immature, degenerate, and really doesnt make sense. being a 1433 whyte warrior makes TOTAL sense. 14 words make TOTAL sense. so express THAT in your music.

had stupid dream last night where I dreamed I was looking at pictures of HER, on facebook or instagram or whatever. i saw a photo of her from new years eve where she was kissing a black guy. i reacted with disgust and horror and anger, much like you would expect me to hahahaha. i make no apologies for not liking mudsharking, and I am ESPECIALLY offended when the woman I luv would rather fook and kiss blacks than have anything to do with ME. it really stings the pride knowing a black guy is better at getting the woman of your dreams than you are. and that the woman of your dreams would rather be with a black guy than you, ya racially-aware whyte man.

also IRL she did go out with a black guy but I never saw secsy pictures of that thank god. but the fact is, they were making out and FOOKING. she she suck his dick? most certainly. Did he blast jizz on her pretty face? maybe. did he fook her up the ass? maybe. did he fook her doggystyle and blast on her nice white ass? certainly. did he pound that pvssy with her fine white body pressed up against him while they made out and she sighed in Ecstasy? 100000% yes definitely. things I will never experience with her hehehehe.

And I have always like kissing and making out MORE than secs. it seems so pure and fun and innocent and safe and good. and secs seems so dirty and bad and pornographic and dangerous and bad. not because it is, but because the way the women treat it like its NOTHING. treat it with more reverence.

so I always LIKED making out and kissing more. it means a lot to me. I would have had a LOT of fun making out with her. I had a LOT of fun just making out with gurls. then they would get bored, want secs, and dump me when they correctly ascertained that I wanted a real rel.

i get dumped because i always want a RELATIONSHIP with women hahahaha what a MONSTER I am.

clingy and needy, always wanted a Relationship.

oh well there’s serious rels and then theres casual rels. why do I always want a serious rel?

because I am an OLD SCHOOL WHITE MAN, and I KNOW that sex cannot be treated CASUALLY!

so yeah not only do i think secs is intmate, i think KISSING is kinda intimate too! and i feel a lot more positively towards it than secs, ie its something i can actually enjoy, possibly because it doesnt make babies but still allows you to show affection for your bitch, like cuddling. and its much SAFER and lower RISK, and I think its super FUN and stress free, and I RESENT women for not liking it so much, or thinking its BORING.

if you think somethings boring, YOUR BORING hahahahahahaha.

if you’re BORED, YOURE BORING.

uncle bern might have clued me into that saying.

oh lord their are LATVIANS speaking LATVIAN in the poker room hahahaha.

this is really interesting. yes i luv latvians, they are white as hell. or are they finngolian hahaha. latvians are classic joohaters and ovened 6 gorillion joos in riga in 1943.

 

 

ASKING FOR HELP AT WORK / NORMIES GONNA HATE THE DESPERATE

apr 25

uh it takes at least 250 days of not seeing and not talking to the person to even get over the hump. to start feeling cautiously optimistic that you can get over them one day. 8.4 months. hahahaha. so, not a full year…..but not half a year either!!!!! close to 9 months. the amount of time it takes for a baby to be Grown. think of it as Your New Life being Grown. but it takes time to develop before its ready to be born.

i am certainly not over it, but I might be 51% over it and am closer to Acceptance than ever before. I mean I have pretty much accepted it. I still want to be with her, but I know it will never happen. I still want her to contact me but I know she wont. I occasionally want to have casual secs with some cute waitress or woman I see at the fatclub but I certainly dont want to Date anyone, and I am totally Emotionally Unavailable hahahaha.

according to the fatherland podcast, tattoo “artists” used to have a code of ethics where they wouldn’t do a tattoo on your face, or neck, or hands, or just really weird and extreme places. they’d say we dont want your money trash, go to a ni993r place in the GHETTO for that n1993r bullshit. but now everyone has damn neck tattoos and sometimes even face tattoos and white tattoo artists outside of the black ghetto are more than happy to do them.

neck tattoo is prob the most prevalent, like bullshit on the side of ones neck. i guess getting shit on the front of your neck is still considered truly extreme.

i mean I think all tattoos look like shit, its not a proper white thing to do, its for prisoners, gang members, bikers, and polynesians. I will maybe make an exception for military, and in appropriate place no less. the most appropriate place being your upper arm. anything easily covered by a t-shirt. no neck, no leg, no face, even “sleeves” are a bridge too far.

IN GENERAL, tattoos are degenerate and I will prob never get one. Although I briefly thought of getting a white race related tattoo on muh arm hahahaha. like a big fookin swastika, see this, it means NOT WELCOME hahahahaha. your kind is not welcome here.

no i mean maybe a kolovrat to emphasize muh slavic luv…….but really? do I really want to put a kolovrat on muh body for the rest of my life? (its like an 8 sided swastikaish thing hahahah that i think also represents the Sun)

Really the best thing for me would be the 14 words because I believe in the 14 words wholeheartedly and hope I never stop!!!!! but I dont want to get a phrase of words tattooed. maybe just the number 14 but even that seems a little gay. not worth defiling your body.

so yeah when ever i see a white person with tattoos, i judge them and am disappointed. And I used to / still do enjoy a lot of degenerate music where the white metal musicians have lots of tats.

but some metal people have no tats. i like them better hahahaha. they are more my style. like varg vikernes never got tats, because he knows the deal. tats are degenerate and not what decent white people do.

but plenty of decent white people DO have them because its FASHIONABLE now. and of course plenty of trashy white people too.

i mean i have friends with tats and I dont really care. I just secretly wish they didnt have the tats hahahaha.

and of course tats on a woman is a huge disappointment. i liked that That Woman didnt have any tats because from her Tough Background, she is exactly the type of white person to get tats. but she chose not to. kinda like she had all the risk factors to become a slut. but she chose not to. I figured this signalled moral strength and courage and good judgment. which it did. she just really screwed up with me hahahaha. doesnt mean she’s not otherwise a wonderful, beautiful, very marriageable person wawawawawwawawawawawaaaaaaa

but yeah I dont need a tattoo to tell people I’m a White Supremacist hahahahaha. my words and actions should hopefully prove that. no that doesnt mean I commit or condone “hate” crimes or violence. It means I shame race mixers and that I will never race mix, thats all. And I will make it clear to the women I Casually Sex up that I disapprove of race mixing and if they are open to it, I will disapprove of THEM. because I don’t want white women having nonwhite babies. PERIOD. FULL STOP. no further explanation needed.

I DONT WANT WHITE WOMEN HAVING NONWHITE BABIES.

white men for that matter too. like these weak cowardly cucky beta leftist men who get with ASIAN women. come on bro. not cool. have a little SELF RESPECT. dont you think you can do BETTER than that? asians? really?

i would maybe bang the cutest asian just for novelty, but I would never date or have children with. besides theres not a lot of cute asians. I just dont fooking GET it.

i dont want white women having nonwhite babies, and if that makes white women hate me, so be it. there are SOME white women who share my values on race mixing is bad.

well ok what if blacks mix with mexicans.

i dont really CARE, but its probably not good for them either, and if hordes of black mexican mixes begin living in proximity of unmixed whites, then i DO care.

I am a White Racist, White Supremacist, White Nationalist. DEAL WITH IT.  (sunglasses meme hahahaha)

so now I have sampled all 3 deafheaven albums (but not the demo) and I might like sunbather LEAST. new bermuda sounds very promising. the drums sound better than on sunbather, so you can really tell that the drummer is very good, which is important for someone that plays so many blast beats.  Really blast beats are a get out of jail free card for me. you can be as faggy and hipster and marxist as you want, but as long as you arent scawed of scawy bwast beats, I’ll allow all fagginess. and they are definitely not scared of blast beats, using them generally MORE than I ever expected from such a hipster group. or a 10 minute song where the first 4 minutes are basically all blast beats. come on. that is hard to criticize, unless it is just straight up boring, but its not. they might know how to write a song rather than just pasting riffs together. if anything the riffs arent quite CATCHY enough for me.

some haters find them formulaic and boring. maybe they are formulaic but at their best I dont find them that boring.

but I sympathize with the haters, and I dont doubt the raging deafheaven FANS are a horrible cancer.

but yeah basically they have enough blast beats, and a good drummer, and good songwriting, for them to get away with some fagginess IMHO. probably including them looking like beta leftist hipsters.

its definitely a young mans thing. I mean everyone in the band is younger than me, probably in some cases significantly so. and really no need to have a nonwhite guy in the band now. but i am sure they are antiracists hahahaha. even though the singer arguably dresses somewhat like a fascist hahaha but he would deny that and say fascism is horrible and racist.

heh. now I am kinda wishing I had gone to see them when they played a headlining show near my town in a decent club. i bet there would be some good white hipster metal sluts there for pump and dump hahahaha. who are willing to give short unmasculine guys a turn on the ride.

my ideal woman does not listen to metal or to hipster indie stuff. basically something nonweird. That Woman had pretty good taste in music IMHO which was part of why we connected so well. no I wont out her any more by describing the taste in music. but no extreme metal, no hipster indie garbage, nothing too weird. but a woman who appreciates 90s rock and 70s rock, well I can very much appreciate that.

I used to think the ideal woman would be a big tom waits fan. Because tom waits is undeniably awesome. but now I wonder if tom waits is just too WEIRD for a normal noncrazy woman to be interested in. I also fell in luv with one gurl who loved tom waits, and while she was not a slut thank god, she also had no interest in me and was weird and there was a lot of disappointment and shame there for me.

however its good if i introduce a woman to tom waits and she likes his less weird songs.

country music is ok, even modern crap like….brad paisley, i dont know. shitty n1993r degenerate dance shit like drake or whatever, not cool. even nickelback would be better.

really basically i’m looking for a woman that likes nonweird, normie stuff that isnt blatantly shitty. fookin black metal, tom waits, or hipster indie bands would be considered too WEIRD.

I learned at some point that Bisexual Girls are BAD NEWS. Sure as a young man you think its HOT, cuz you are addicted to “LESBIAN” porno degen, and even I cant deny the attraction of having a Three Way with 2 cute gurls. I always wanted to do that at least once in muh life, but it’s not looking probable unless I hire two hookers, or charm some REALLY slutty crazy sluts at a bar or club.

I learned that this is something only CRAZY gurls do. NOT the type of gurls you want to marry, date, or have children with. its just a sign of BATSHIT CRAZY. which is ALWAYS BAD. STAY AWAY for the long term. i guess pump and dump in the short term.

but yeah. dont feel happy when the gurl you are fooking is bi. if anything, you should be looking for a gurl who is somewhat DISGUSTED by any Homosinuality. but good luck with that, all women are all about the gays. women love gay men but watch how they feel about LESBIANS. if they are like i just dont GET lesbians, that’s a good sign.

women will always love gay men. deal with it. just like they will never come out and say they dont like race mixing. just look for a woman with good actions and good character, meaning, she doesn’t PERSONALLY engage in lesbianism or race mixing. its too much to ask them to understand WHY its degenerate and wrong. women cant into sexual morality hahahahaha. but SOMETIMES they still live a sexually moral life, even if they will never understand it. if you can find that, wife the girl up.

and i found that kind of woman and she rejected me brutally wawawawawawawawawaw

i’ll admit it. i did too much degenerate shit in my youth. more than normies, more than more successful, well adjusted people. I looked at too much porn, took too much MJ, drank too much, had a very very bad nihilistic degenerate attitude, and all this, for too long, twisted me into the pathetic lonely loser omega male I am today hahaha.

but I thought it was COOL to REBEL by MJ and drinking. NOPE. WRONG. IT WASNT.

have one resume thats as long as possible. have that be your main most important resume that gets trickled down to everything else.

then when you have an actual interview and have to bring in a resume, bring in and send them a One Page resume, a condensement of your 3 page resume hahaha.

this will prove to your gods that you are the ideal candidate for a 15 dah job all those fast food fight for 15 people wish they could be valuable and smart and good enough to get, but they never will be. go to college losers hahahahahaha.

i mean go back to college and get a stem degree hahaha.

never cuddle with a woman in 10 years, from age 22 to 32 hahahaha.  we are not talking about age 70 to 80 hahaha.

asking for help is FROWNED UPON in the real working world. you get labeled as the Weak, Layoffable, Unlikable, Stupid Loser Deadbeat if you ask for help. this is why people dont want to ask for help. because asking for help is BAD. undesirable. figure shit out on your OWN. WITHOUT help. asshole. weakling. virgin. weirdo. failure. hahahaha.

the best way to do this is bullshit like you know what you’re doing, then if you get called out for doing it wrong, apologize profusely and say you thought you have figured it out correctly. apologize some more and make a big show about how you were wrong and how you are writing down the right way now.  IM WRITING THAT DOWN RIGHT NOW SIR!!!! WONT EVER HAPPEN AGAIN!!!!!

Or if you absolutely HAVE to ask for help, tell them youve been trying to figure it out for 10,20,30 minutes, whatever seems prudent, and you tried this this and this (3 things) and you think that the unknown unknown MIGHT have to do with this topic but you just dont have enough information to make a decision, and would greatly appreciate any advice from someone smarter and more experienced, I think the answer is in this direction, but I have no way of proving it or knowing that and I’ve already wasted 30 minutes of the clients time, can you help me help the client and value their time and our company time better?

THATS how you ask for HELP. make it about the MONEY, and give at least three pieces of evidence on how you are not stupid and how you have initiative. but all the initiative in the world can’t will unknown unknown information into existence.

Or just be a woman under 30 and people will bend over backwards to help you even if you are stupid as shit and have no initiative.

linkedin. i cant believe i spent so much time on it without puking in disgust at those phaggot phonies. dicksuckers.

i have been a lot more profane and vulgar lately, its a way of blowing off steam and anger about that woman, jobs, job search, failure, everything. i still think being profane is for trashy and subhumans, but I get a pass because its better than me doing stupid things out of anger. so i call everyone phaggot joo n1993r k1ke commie joo fooks all day. i cant see the person clearly without my glasses but i can see they have dark hair and are acting really obnoxious and annoying, so they’ve GOT to be an albanian or an arab. fook them. fook off back to albania or iraq or syria or arabia. YOUR KIND IS NOT WELCOME HERE.

I was thinking white sluts could be used as brood mares for white neet men who cant pull a decent white woman for marriage. that way we could create more white children. but they would HAVE to be adopted by decent white people to be raised up good.

turn the white trash mudshark sluts into a whore caste, so neets could get sex and become more confident and virile and better able to pull a decent white woman.

but married men should not be using the whores.

and maybe the whores could be brood mares, but they should NEVER be raising the children themselves.

lots of complications there as you see.

like how do you keep the married men away from the whores? do you identify yourself to the state as married or a neet?

in an all white country, the government would be more trustworthy, but the people would be more trustworthy too, and wouldnt need a powerful, large, authoritarian government!!!!!!

and really social shame would enforce shit like this, so married men wouldnt WANT to go to whores, and whores wouldnt WANT to raise children.

in my whitopia I would not frown on asking for help at work. I’d say good job my lad, i’m glad you’re asking on how to do quality work for our white company, because we take pride in our work and emphasis quality over speed. we know having a well-trained workforce is a win win for the workers, and for the company. so im glad you asked instead of figuring it out wrong. here’s the right way to quality check the production server. that’s the heart of business operations so we dont want any mistakes, so I ‘m glad you asked. we need 100%, and 90% is really as bad as 0% in this case.  I also just recorded a video of me helping you and will put the video on the intranet for everyone else to watch and learn.

i went to one boy scouts meeting when I was young and for some reason decided not to get involved. i dont know why the hell not. I think I was too young to have gotten into any of the degenerate shit I soon got into, which would make me call the boy scouts gay and faggy and lame and weak and stupid. but maybe I just thought everything was STUPID anyway. or maybe I got socially anxious around the other boys because they were bigger and older and tougher and i was scared they would bully me! i just dont know, i cant remember.

what Im saying is that if I became an EAGLE SCOUT I would have turned out a lot better hahahaha. Eagle Scouts make great white men 99.9% of the time.

also, doing ROTC during college would have been a great idea.

and doing a stem degree hahaha.

and never smoking MJ or drinking.

and maybe just going to prom with some ugly bitch hahaha.

EARLY INTERVENTION is the key to solving ones problems hahaha.

I started taking some paxil at age 20 or so, that was a step………..

but I soon STOPPED that and continued drinking and MJ. bad move!

Then I started taking paxil again around age 25 or 24 and haven’t really stopped. but at first I was DRINKING like a fish, I mean the paxil made me able to drink more and more and more without getting sick. and I thought it was supposed to DECREASE your alcohol tolerance. for me, it INCREASED it.  BAAAADDDDD move.

http://www.forbes.com/sites/dailymuse/2014/02/14/how-to-train-people-to-ask-you-fewer-questions-and-figure-things-out-on-their-own/#264b1837de63

I know i linked this at some point

https://www.themuse.com/advice/5-strategies-that-will-turn-your-employees-into-leaders

hehehe its funny how i read the muse, a site designed for WOMEN trying to be TUFF in their CAREERS.

great. i am taking CAREER ADVICE from a 20 YEAR OLD GURL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! who has a better resume and a better job and makes more money than me, as an undergrad at harvard.  oh sorry….creative writing major at colgate univeristy ?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?! are you KIDDING me?!?!?!?!?!?!?! she should be working at MCDONALDS!!!!!!!

also yeah its ok to struggle a LITTLE bit and try to figure stuff out on your own……..

but what about when that is your whole day, all the time!

and, more importantly, time is VERY much of the essence, because you have someone on hold who wants this fixed NOW and doesnt want to wait 20 extra minutes while you teach it to yourself?

and also your quality people will come bitching to you if you are taking too much time?

I don’t have the TIME to struggle and figure it out!!! I need the answer NOW!!!!!

So I learned just to give AN answer FAST, even if it was bullshit. so I could buy myself more time.  and have more bullshit to say when I DID ask for help and try to get the shit escalated.

https://www.themuse.com/advice/3-times-you-actually-should-quit-the-job-search-and-take-a-breather?ref=recommended

thanks sara mccord ya fookin hr recruiting skank penisbreath whore. whoops that could be considered slander. take a break from the job search because you are angry as fook and calling everybody n199er fooking whores and phaggots. hey i am desperate as fook and these jizz guzzlers are giving me a job on a silver platter with no interview. maybe that means its the shittiest job ever and they want to inflate their numbers and commissions. they dont care that the job SUCKS for ME.

http://archive.is/MbhdT

actually i think the muse has a very insidious bad attitude and you should not read it. basically will make you feel hopeless because you will never be good enough to get a 15 DAH job. but you know that shitloads of people at your old job making 17 DAH couldnt live up to these bullshit standards written by 21 year old gurls with Human Resource Majors.  horry SHEET. FOOK THEM.

basically they expect you to know or figure out unknown unknowns and say this is what i need to know, when you dont know what it is you need to know!!!!!

i figure shit out with google. but googling how to figure things out does not lead to one SINGLE good article. I have written better shit on the topic on this very fookin blog!!!!!!!! and I dont know shit about shit!!!! Im just BULLSHITTING!!!!!!! but bullshitting is a useful skill too. and if i am a better bullshitter than I think I am…..that’s good. I will thank GOD for that BLESSING.

HAVE MORE CONFIDENCE IN YOUR BULLSHIT hahahahaha.

thats what I say in interviews. my main weakness is that I was worried my bullshit wasnt good enough. But I am actually a pretty good bullshitter and can get people to believe my bullshit! including fookin sellout phaggots like you!!!! ya fookin normie cowards!!! I bet you are a terrible wife and mother, because you believe the bullshit on themuse.com!!!!!! go cheat on your husband with sexy black idris elba, ya fookin b1993r fooking whore! I dont care about your bullshit masters degree!!!!!!! your an idiot! Im way smarter than you, with my 101 IQ!!!!

hehehehe theres that anger again.

also its not enough to figure stuff out on your own.

you need to figure it out RIGHT, and FAST. and on your own, hahaha.

that is some stressful shit to deal with 50 hours a week!

its like taking a test where you have to get 100% and you get  berated for every question you get wrong, even if you get 90%, and you have nothing to study, and the worlds shittiest instructor, and every day is nothing but a test, there is no instruction or homework to train you, you just take tests the whole time and are expected to get 100% and then you try to teach yourself the things you THINK you need when you are at home.

why arent there any books or articles on the fookin internet that deal with this reality of the Working World that ALL successful adults have to deal with? why is it such a big fooking SECRET?????? why wont anyone tell me? why wouldnt SHE tell me her secret to doing the job??!?!?!?!??!

fooking n1993r fooking whores.

http://www.math.utah.edu/online/1010/figure/

ok heres a pretty good one:

https://www.scotthyoung.com/blog/2015/11/23/figuring-things-out/

schools are terrible at teaching you how to figure things out. but this is one of THE most valuable skills you can have in the workplace. i thought schools were supposed to prepare you to be a good productive worker.

http://jamesclear.com/getting-simple

some shit i put in my interview file, where some of it is copied from the above article:

//////

I AM GOOD AT FIGURING THINGS OUT ON MY OWN. I DONT NEED MY HAND HELD OR GET STUCK WHEN THERE ISNT A LIST OF CLEAR, DETAILED INSTRUCTIONS. I AM GOOD AT FIGURING IT OUT ON MY OWN AND TAKING OWNERSHIP OF THE TASK. (i wrote this one hahaha)

//////

Welcome to the grind. It’s time to put in a volume of work. Not just once or twice. Not just when it’s easy. But a consistent, repeated volume of work.

In the words of Ira Glass, “your taste is good enough that you can tell that what you’re making is kind of a disappointment to you.” You’ll bridge that gap between what you know is good and what you can produce yourself by putting in the reps.

This applies to so many areas of life. (from the james clear article)

I PUT IN THE REPS. (paraphrasing lesson in my own words.)

end paste

PUT IN THE REPS SON.

or just say that you do even though you dont, and make those k1kes believe your bullshit.

homeschool your children so they develop actual, legit intellectual curiosity, ie, the drive and initiative to figure things out on their own. this is one of the top 3 or top 2 Work Skills. the other is communication. the other is Customer Service and People Skills.  all technical skills are a distant second. or fourth hahahaha.

but yeah its hard to figure things out right the first time, fast, and right. and to bullshit like you know what youre doing. you think SHE was an expert bullshitter?

you didnt even really need to be a bullshitter. like my male friend. he had no problem saying when he didnt know something and made no effort to ever bullshit. because constantly bullshitting is, for me, EXHAUSTING. its ALMOST lesss exhausting to just research shit at home so I can figure out a nonbullshit answer…..if that is even possible.

anyway I would recommend not reading the muse.

well you have to develop your sense of bullshit though. and that site is FULLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL of the bullshittiest bullshit you will ever see. so maybe it is good.

it WILL make you want to go on a punching people in the face spree though.

how come normies arent angry and anxious all the time from their 50 hours a week at WORK? how come NORMIES arent run ragged trying to figure weird shit out all the time? how do NORMIES have time for their families and their hobbies and their children and their bitches? how come NORMIES arent always on the edge of a breakdown?  why wouldnt the people who knew shit share their phaggy secret with the people who were desperate to know? because desperation is weak and everybody hates it.

yea well i have great sympathy for the desperate. I am desperate. it SUCKS to be desperate but IT HAPPENS and I appreciate that. everybody hates the desperate but I dont. I luv them.

all these fookin normies hate the desperate. normies and winners and nonvirgins and women and managers and everybody. NORMIES GONNA HATE.

well GOD FORBID THEY ever get desperate one day. Jeez i thought everyone has felt desperate once in a while. yeah well they sure dont act like it. nobody loves you when youre down and out. laugh and the world laughs with you, cry and you cry alone hahahaha. no one is gonna help you. figure it out yourself hahaha.

fact is, she probably didnt have any big secret she was willfully hiding from me on how to keep your cool on the job. there was no big secret, and i was just paranoid. she was naturally a chiller person and didnt care as much about doing a good job. she jsut said whatever cant help you and listened to her music. and people would be WILLING to help her because she was a pretty gurl.

fooking n1993r fooking whore hahahaha. i have 3 times the college credits she does hahaha. i have better people skills and problem solving skills than her. i can communicate better. i can bullshit better. i am smarter. i am better in every way hahahahaha.

and now i have to PROVE it by staying at this job for 1 year hahahah. god damn. these god damn punishments and penances and repentances I have to constantly do. am i not done paying the piper yet?

had dream last night where something like the legions of satan were conquering the earth and killing all life in hellish ways hahaha.

well there was another maybe separate dream where I was cuddling with Crazy N199er Fooker Mud Shark Crazy Bitch Former Woman6 who I cant remember what her name is now. Woman2008 or something? i had a dream about her not too long ago.

she was trash but if she had just behaved like a nice gurl, should would have been totally dateable, and it would have been fun to cuddle with her and wife her up if she were a totally different person. namely, not a dirty crazy mudshark with a bitchy, annoying personality. if she were nice, not a mudshark, not crazy, not a bitch, and not a high number slut, and was more willing to give me a chance, rather than just show interest in me for a brief time and then get bored of me, looking for more exciting guys for the c0ck carousel.

she was cute, too bad her personality and morals sucked and made her a garbage person.

well thats not fair, she’s not THAT bad. if she came to me now all old and even more used up, i would gladly bang her. regardless of how many n1993rs shes fooked.

i mean she is prob still good looking, and i certainly imagine her ass is at least. great ass on that butt slut. im sure she likes it getting sodomized by n1993rs and sleazebags she just met, getting hepatitis and syphilis and grids, fookin dirty whore. use a god damn rubber, you disease dumpster hahahaha.

I use this ugly language to channel my anger and disappointment and frustration hahahaha and butthurt. its worse to bottle that shit up!!!!

i was sort of friends with her, but I knew she was bad news, yet i still wanted to bang her, but she was always busy and never wanted to hang out with me. i was never a priority for her. she was interested in me for about a week and was less bitchy with me, but still. never wanted to hang out, never wanted to make plans. her stupid excuse was that plans were not spontaneous enough. cuz she might want to go out to some party or club that night. or she might not be in the mood. yeah well how about you get in the mood for me, bitch hahahaha. when women are into you, they’ll make plans if you want to make plans. also i thought because she had fooked 100 guys by age 21, that maybe I might have a chance too. Nope. she only let masculine tough guys fook her fat ass.

anyway point is, i didnt like her prsonality that much, and I was much much much much closer and better and longer friends with woman2015 than I was with woman2008, who was very very very insignificant in comparison.

i would have given her the chance to become more than insignificant though. she wasn’t willing to do the same for me though. hahahahaha. fookin n1993r fookin bitches. absolutely disgusting degenerates.

hey I only dislike women if there’s a valid reason. likewise, I only LIKE them if there’s a good reason.

most women I am neutral towards, or not very optimistic. sure i have high standards but most women fall far far far short of even reasonable standards. they HAVE to be able to do better than that. Even if I had low standards, they dont ever reach those.

cant they just be moderately disappointing instead of RIDICULOUSLY disappointing?

do they have to be so EXTREME in their disgustingness, degeneracy, immorality, disappointingness?

can’t they be just a LITTLE bit shitty and not a HUGELY RAGINGLY SHITTY??? in other words hahaha.

well woman2015 is not hugely shitty, she is a good person who just did one thing that was very hurtful to ME alone, and part of that was I just cared too much.

but yeah that other woman was much more ridiculous, far far less decent. she could have been decent if she tried even a little bit. but it was just one bad decision and disappointment and sin after another with that whore. she was actually kind of smart too. i dont put a lot of weight on women being smart. id much rather they be not as smart, and a decent person —- like woman2015, than smarter and a total crazy degenerate, like woman2008.

but yeah woman2008 was really cute, would have liked a decent woman in that cute body. just wasnt meant to be though.

i wonder how many abortions SHE got hahahaha.

i dont know whats worse. A woman who will have babies with blacks…..or a woman who aborts them.

i think its too much to assume she wouldnt abort a fully white baby. i think its barbaric for a woman to murder their own child regardless of the racial mix of the child. the child never asked for any of this.

how about, have the brown baby, give it up for adoption, and then never have another mixed baby again.

and I still wouldnt want to marry her!

WOMEN, KEEP IT IN YOUR PANTS!!!!!! hahahahaha

CLOSE YOUR LEGS!!!! stop fooking so many guys!!! you are the creators of human life much moreso than men! have some SELF RESPECT!!!!!

but respect is not really very important or relevant to women. things like respect, honor, ethics, morality, tradition, racial hygiene, sin, shame, guilt, these are all very MASCULINE things. women could care less.

so do we need to enslave women, like the mudslimes?

no I refuse to treat women as BARBARICALLY as they do. we can do better than that.

women are bad, but they arent AS bad as the mudslims think.

a strong father and a strong husband and 3 kids by age 24 will be more than enough to keep women from getting out of hand. and also take away their vote. say you are combining it with their husbands vote.

in fact I would be very ok with restricting MENS votes too, to married men with children. See i got some skin in the game too. take MY vote away, I dont care. I would GLADLY give up my vote to take away the vote for women. that would be a GREAT deal.

cuz they will vote for taxpayer funded baby murder and no fault divorce and moar money for single mothers to have more bastard babies with black deadbeats!!!!!

 

RELATIONSHIP BILL OF RIGHTS AND RESPONSIBILTIES

feb 1

wow. i really gotta get out this rut. this is no way to live. this is not healthy! i would not recommend this. time to get a new shitty job, go crazy, and quit in a Huff, mving myself even further down the career ladder. i dont move up the ladder with time, i move down it hahahaha.

i grew up having a very negative opinion of women. in short, they were mostly bitchy, dumb, slutty, disgusting, stupid, mean, obnoxious, annoying, awful, scheming, hypocritical, immoral, sneaky, lying, cheating, evil. you couldnt possibly like or respect these pigs. they literally had no redeeming qualities except for the secs they sluttily gave away to every man except YOU hahaha.

probably because most of my friends had bad experiences with women and werent big fans of them either! and that rubbed off on me.

also women seemed intimidating because i didnt know how to talk to them, how to deal with them, and i didnt like how they all had secs with guys so QUICKLY. that seemed like a big deal to me, and i thought shit if youre the one who can get pregnant here, you prob wouldnt have a problem with waiting amirite?

i had muh first crush on a girl in 7th and 8th grade when i was 13/14. that was a bad choice because she was a mudshark slut. yes you could be a mudshark slut at age 14. how disgraceful! but she was a Bad Gurl who liked very Bad Bois. the badder the better. i have no idea why i liked her. prob because she was real purty. i felt that it was disappointing that she was such a bad gurl. i kinda wanted to save her and turn her into a nice gurl hahaha.

then i went into my women hating phase until like age 20/21, when is the second time i develop actual feelings for a woman. and they were very very very strong, and disrupted muh whole life. i didnt know how to deal with them!

in the interim i made out with 1 gurl when i was about 15 and i had VERY mixed feelings about it. i kinda felt pressured into it, that she wanted to do it more than i did, but i just went along to Gain The Experience, but i wasnt particularly HAPPY about it. i was kinda ANGRY about it for a couple years! also she lived like 50 miles away. maybe if she lived nearby i could get to know her as a person.

by age 20/21 i was completely off the track and should have took a hiatus from college at age 20, started intensive shit with a shrink and meds, gone teetotal from alcohol and MJ, stayed at home, got a shitty job, and finished up college at close to home U, pref in STEM hahahahahaha.  but nooooooooooooo i soldiered thru my useless degree and continued all my bad horrible habits.

i became sort of friendly with some women at age 20, but it was not until age 21 that i made my first decent actual official female friend. that was a positive move. also at that age i first pseudodated a gurl. and we rushed through all the beginning stages of a “rel” in a very short time, leaving me confused and sad and angry and disappointed and crazy hahahaha.

i made some more female friends at age 22.

anyway not sure what my point was. probably that its pointless and a bad idea to hate women unless you actually have some female friends.

even as women were dumping me and disappointing me and i should have really Hated All Women, i didnt really, having female friends was really useful in keeping me from hating all women.

you see, i didnt really LIKE hating all women! i didnt WANT to hate all women! it was GOOD for me to have female friends.

now, there was a little bit of drama…..but that was because i had fallen in LUV with a friend of my female friend. so i completely lost muh mind. the regular DRINKING did not help at this point. i should have just stopped drinking and been like ayyyyy baby wan sum hang out lmao and gotten rejected that way, instead of drunkenly pining for her.

MY POINT is, its not fun or good or healthy to Hate Women, and its a lot easier to not hate women when you actually have some Woman Friends. in fact, this will go farther in curing your womanhate, than actually dating or getting feelings for a gurl . cuz that shit always ends badly. with my female friends, well the ones i didnt fall in luv with, it never ended BADLY. we just drifted away as friends often do. but no hard feelings.

and it sucks to think of somebody you were in luv with, you wanted to be with forever, now they are giving dat secs up really easily and quickly to other guys, and that makes you sad, angry, and disgusted. because its none of your business. but i say you are still entitled to your opinion that she should not be a disgusting whore!!!!! and entitled to be hurt when she is. even if shes done with you. becuase you are not quite done with her. you are still in luv with her, still want her. who knows when that is gonna be over.

2% milk has 120 calories per cup, whole milk 150.

yeah i have reading reddit relships all day to convince myself that i did nothing wrong and that she is out of line.

well i admit i was cowardly and weak. but that it wasnt THAT bad. i mean its hard to have a hard discussion. give me a damn break. i wasnt trying to AVOID it. i was trying to confront it, in my weak way. i was hinting an signally heavily, and trying to hang out. she was tyring to avoid everything.

i dunno i dont like to be treated so disrespectfully. its very disrespectful to be Thrown Away Like Garbage!!!! can you understand that?!?!?!?!?!

its not so bad if its a random stranger. then you can just say fookin asshole and never see them again. but when they were once your friend, a good friend, and they do this……its LIKE a betrayal hahahahahah.

plus her throwing me away like garbage is WAY more disrespectful than me getting feelings for her.

i didnt think she had such little respect for me! so that was shocking! shit she used to have a lot of respect for me.

i have never lost this much respect for a person! i dont even know how to relate to that! well except when women dump me and go be huge sluts hahaha.

https://bu.reddit.com/r/relationships/comments/43mn60/my_19_m_girlfriend_20_f_of_almost_2_years_broke/

hmm i almost wrote a response to this guy but he deleted his story and i cant find a cache/archive of it hahahaha.

nothing TOO exciting, i just sorta related to him. young man and his gf dumped him. not in the worst way, but not in the best way either. i wanted to use it as an example of, yeah this isnt the worst dumping, but women should aim to dump a lot better than this.

how are they so stupid and UnEmpathic that they dont know or dont care that they will be causing a person Great Pain?

how are relships such ugly, disappointing, tragic, heartbreaking, insane, Wrong, Clusterfooks??!?!?!?!?!?! cant people get along better than this? just use a LITTLE common sense. i would treat a person way better than this.

therefore, it is WOMEN who are at fault for all the Sorrow and Badness in Bad Relships hahahahaha.

https://bu.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/43mukg/my_19_m_girlfriend_20_f_of_almost_2_years_broke/

http://archive.is/uq1hT

FOUND IT! he crossposted it in relship advice as well. and i archived it for all eternity hahahaha

what i would say to him: yeah she COULD HAVE shown you even LESS respect by cheating on you….but she SHOULD have shown you a HELL of a lot MORE respect tho, by taking into account your feelings about being dumped, and being nice but decisive in dumping you.

IMHO, when you agree to a rel with them, you OWE IT TO THEM, its part of your RESPONSIBILITIES to them, to dump them gently and kindly and compassionate, if it reaches the point where you want to dump them and they want to stay/work on the rel….and you want to get out.  its like an early termination fee. the “fee” is simply BE NICE. BE KIND. BE GENTLE.

i would NEVER treat somebody like this unless i HATED them. i would never HATE them unless they made a concerted effort to push my buttons. i wouldnt hate somebody for getting feelings for me. i know you just cant turn feelings on an off at will, for any random person.

i hated one guy because he trolled me on our views of the world and became the most annoying faggot you wanted to punch in the face repeatedly.

i think thats how i made her feel hahahaha.

to her i became a really annoying faggot she wanted to punch in the face repeatedly.

damn.

punchable faces hahahaha.

that might be the best word for how she felt about me. the reaction i got out of her.

but i really feel if she took 5 minutes to think about it like an adult, she would see how ridiculous that is. why couldnt she give me that courtesy after the years together? are all women this childish and stupid and obtuse and unkind?

its totally immature, like something a 14 year old would do.

and in some ways i am very very emotionally mature, like a 14 year old: i get feelings too fast and too strong, i get feelings if i have secs or make out with or even cuddle with a gurl, and get way too attached to them too fast.

but i think this is a more positive way to be emotionally immature, than in the bad way, were you are paranoid and throwing tantrums and hate people for shitty reasons, and cant even attempt empathy, and are all hot and cold with no in between.

i mean she has empathy too, ive seen her use empathy, shes empathzed with ME before! just in this SITUATION to have her get so bipolar, was weird as hell, and caught me COMPLETELY off guard.

some woman on TRS forum said to be attractive to women, you have to TAKE REJECTION WELL. I thought this was stupid because a. nobody takes rejection super well b. if a woman rejects you and sees that you arent really upset….then what? is she gonna revoke her rejection? probably not. and if she did, that would be stupid and shameful and not the type of woman you want to be with.

so in other words, when That Woman rejected me, she probably hated and disrespected me EVEN MORE when she saw how upset and devastated and hurt I was.

i dunno this makes women seem like SADISTS, just shoveling hate and misery and suffering on men.

it did not seem worth it to autistically argue this one point with the forum woman hahahaha

well i took THE PREVIOUS REJECTION PRETTY WELL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I TAKE REJECTION AS WELL AS CAN BE EXPECTED, WHEN THE WOMAN MAKES AN EFFORT TO BE NICE ABOUT IT!!!!

why WOULD you reject someone in the meanest way possible?  because you HATE them?

why wouldnt you TRY to be nice or sympathetic when you are rejecting someone?

why would she not even take 5 minutes to THINK ABOUT THIS and how what i did was not some evil horrible thing???????

what the hell did her friends and family say when she talked about it with her? surely they cant all be as fooked up as her! unless she lied to them and said “UGH hes been creeping and stalking on me for months. he KNOWS im not interested but he still doesnt TAKE NO FOR AN ANSWER!” and then they say “well dump that creeper to the curb gurlfran, you dont owe him an apology lmao”

cuz she seemed pretty reasonable and thoughtful, and her family did too, such that if she were making a horrendous Lapse In Judgment, they would steer her the right way. and i believe this was a Horrendous Lapse In Judgment on her part.

yeah yeah yeah a tale as old as time, but im not used to it happening to me, from a person i really didnt expect it from.  it shattered my confidence and made me think, hmmm maybe i really DID do something awful to warrant this. i dont realize it but i still stabbed her right in the back and she is just showing righteous anger now. i am reaping what i sowed, even though i didnt realize i sowed it.

so yeah its a long process trying to convince myself that i am not reaping what i sowed, that this was a YUGE lapse in judgment on her part.

but what DID she say to her family and friends? that i was just being a CREEPER WEIRDO and not taking NO for an answer? how much would they have pushed back on that? I”LL NEVER KNOW. Like they could ask her, well did you TALK to him about this? did you tell him you dont want to hang out, or do you keep telling him later, later, later? do you think maybe he likes you? dont HATE him for THAT. hes not a bad guy!! try not to break his heart when you dump him, he’s not trying to hurt you. hey maybe even give him a try, he would treat you really well, you could do a lot worse, you already know each other and get along. you knew this guy for almost 3 years and used to be good friends. dont just throw him away like a piece of garbage, he’ll be devastated, and thats just bad karma, not a cool thing to do to anybody. think about it. if he had any choice in this, why would he pick a time when its bad timing? did he write you any emails? oh a couple long super long emails? did you read them or just delete them? this isnt some random weirdo. remember not too long ago you were telling me what a good person he was. so treat him like that.

ok fatclub. hopefully TRUMPENFUHRER wins iowa caucus. is there one winner for each party?

whos worse, bernie or hillary? probably hillary hahahahahahahaha. bernie admits he is a j00ish socialist hahahaha.

AND if she told me WHY she couldnt just talk to me….oh because i BETRAYED her. i would STILL want to talk about THAT.

well i dont agree i betrayed you.

well i think you did.

and you think I will be able to convince her i didnt betray her? I, as the accused betrayer?  I would need a damn independent tribunal. 3rd parties. which i why i wanted her to talk to her friends and family. shit i should have Reached Out to her friends and family at the time. i thought about contacting her mother. i met the mother a few times and she seemed to like me, and i guess the woman used to tell her mother all sorts of good things about me. if i were personally closer with the mother, i probably would have contacted her!!!!

but i just wonder what The Woman told her mother, and what the mother said. I will NEVER KNOW.

its really hard to say!

maybe there was no talk at all. or it was like, yeah, were not getting along so well right now, we are drifting apart, not as close anymore, oh well that happens, thats life.

i just hate thinking this will happen again: that i will accidentally do something HORRIBLY WRONG an drive the woman of muh dreams away from me;

and also worried i will never feel that way about a woman again. i am getting OLD, and i dont like older women, and i dont like casual sex women on the websites.

heh. i thought I WONDER IF SHE IS ON TINDER then i saw you couldnt browse tinder without a smart phone.

i actually went to tinder with the intent of looking for HER. confirming that she is putting herself out there for casual sex.

anyway i hate making mistakes, HUGE mistakes, without even being aware that i am.

and if this is the LAST woman….damn.

i wish she hadnt made me feel like i royally screwed up.

but no one can make you feel someway without your permission.

but…..when they treat you like you did something horribly wrong….they are kinda making you feel you did something horribly wrong. and in at least 50%, they would probably be RIGHT!

essentially i am being falsely accused hahahaha. i dont know how this feels. it is so confusing and disorienting.

cuz sometimes….its RIGHT for you to feel bad, its not a matter of you “giving permission to let someone else make you feel bad.” its because you really did something bad to them, they are upset at you, they should be, and you feel bad.

and you SHOULD listen to the people who you care about and who you thought cared abotu you. because their perceptions of you matter.

so when someone who mattered to me a lot thought i was a awful piece of shit…….i was hurt, and i felt horrible for hurting them.

heh. they should have KNOWN that i would take this hard. they should have thought hmmm he will prob be hurt by this, probably should tread lightly. not be EXTRA HARSH.

well really extra harsh would be her TELLING ME all sorts of shitty things like “i hate you, you did this to yourself, you made me do this, youre horrible person,etc” while dumping me. really she was just too afraid of confrontation.

she might ahve WANTED to be nicer to me, she was just too SCARED to.

I WILL NEVER KNOW.

and because i was obsessed about handling the rejection like a man….i did not contact her 90000000000000000 times afterwards. i contacted her like 4 times. i begged a little bit but not too much. i didnt bombard her with so much shit, to FORCE her to say “stop harrassing me, i am blocking you, if you stalk me im getting a restraining order” etc. she just blocked me on FB and she may have blocked me on phone and email, no way to confirm that.

just watching iowa caucus instead of going to fatclub. i came in under muh calorie goal anyway so thats good. on muh BEEF DIET hahahaha. best shit ever.

but yeah so disappointing. she could have just sent a message and said this will be the last message, im blocking you after this, but SORRY SORRY SORRY, i didnt mean to hurt you. and that would have saved a decent amount of pain.

ITS REALLY NOT THAT HARD. it seems like it would be HARDER to do what shes actually doing. i mean the guilt would eat me alive.

but she is good at avoiding confrontation. yeah i keep forgetting she does have a red flag that she is able to just throw away her responsibilities and run away in shameful ways. its sad cuz she can do better. but stupid when you are on the receiving end of that.

i say she has nothign but yellow flags but this one might be a red. not going to go into detail here hahaha.

0202

gotta when you get up in the morning say: i definitely did not deserve this. i did not do something horribly wrong. they have made an EGREGIOUS error in judgment. they got me wrong, and they did me wrong. it was a horrible misunderstanding that will NEVER be resolved.

just dont like poeple being WRONG about me.

also i dont know if she felt betrayed by me, or she just wanted to GET RID of me. maybe she does feel bad. she is not a horrible person, but when she is forced to make a difficult choice, she has a tendency to break down and NOT do the right thing. a good person who makes horrible, regrettable choices. it really is kinda tragic but i cant save her from herself. unless she lets me. which she wont. hahahaha. ok have fun either having mud bastards, or becoming a crazy old catlady. and if you have a kid you will prob not be good mother hahahaha.

she has the potential to be a good mother, but also the potential to be a bad mother. its hard to tell. she might decide its too HARD to be a good mother and then just neglect her children and emotionally abandon them. is that the kind of woman i want to be married to, having my children? FOOK NO!!!!!

its similar to a woman having an ABORTION. its a convenient, expedient, super effective, but very morally ambiguous (and i would say, very immoral!!) “Solution” to a “problem”.  and probably the woman doesnt feel HAPPY about it, might even feel long term guilt or conflict about it, and they arent angry or hateful or feel BETRAYED by the baby theyre killing.

but yeah if you can just GET RID OF a PERSON, its kinda like KILLING them! except here, you’re still alive!

its weird being metaphorically KILLED by somebody important to you! it sends the message that your LIFE isnt very important to them. at least not more important than their feelings of discomfort.

she has the capacity to do the right thing and be a good person…..but when it comes time to make some real important decisions…..she CHOKES and does NOT rise to the occasion.

i mean i am the same way. i know how to be a good person but its so HARD, and i have made bad decisions just because i was too WEAK to do the right thing.

i dunno you could still send a messenger to say to me, she doesnt mean to metaphorically KILL you. she feels real bad about this and wants the best for you. even THAT would be a step up.

RELATIONSHIP BILL OF RIGHTS AND RESPONSIBILITIES

  1.  I have the right to be not thrown away like a piece of garbage when you decide to get out of this rel.
  2. You have the responsibility to not throw me like a piece of garbage when you decide to get out of this rel.

hahahahahahahah ayyyyyyy lmao.

i mean just show a little Respect for the Dignity of Human Life.

Dont Throw PEOPLE away like GARBAGE.

dont date / have secs with more than one person at a time.

this is all very r-selected behavior. we HAVE to be better than that. I want to be better than that, and my topkek m8 also wants to be better than that. choose k-selection. dont be like CRAB PEOPLE. crabs in a bucket. rat race. no. each of those squirming rats are special and have dignity. treat them as such.

also if youve known someone for 3 years, then its even WORSE if you throw them away like garbage.

this is very different than a mutual drift away, where BOTH people dont want to put too much effort into the rel.

but appreciate that this person you knew for 3 years has feelings and their feelings will be DEVASTATED if you do this to them. and then make an effort not to do that to them.

so next time some catlady dyke bitch gives you shit about ENTITLEMENT, show her the Relationships Bill Of Rights And Responsibilities, and say, and say something like, is it ENTITLEMENT to have a REASONABLE EXPECTATION that the person will not treat you like a piece of garbage?

is it ENTITLEMENT to think you deserve not to be Abused?

is it ENTITLEMENT to think you deserve to be Communicated With?

really the feminist antimale cat lady is just the Jury Of Women in my Head. the internal self critic. saying you dont deserve this and youre not entitled to this, but you DO deserve to be thrown away like garbage, because you were a horrible person to her.

went to shrink today, shrink agrees that i am not a horrible person, but shoeld have discussed that a bit more hahahaha.

how is it SO HARD for me to CONVINCE myself that i did not deserve this?

well because that woman and her opinion of me was important to me!

but yeah. she REALLY could have done a LOT better. how disappointing.

so….what do CHEATERS deserve? what do ABUSERS deserve?

this is the kind of shit i obsess over. even though i never cheated and i damn sure never abused.

well abuse is probably worse than cheating.

and abandonment/ghosting/throwing you away like a piece of garbage is…..better than cheating? worse than cheating? its probably better than ABUSE. idunno. its seems really neck and neck with cheating! at least cheaters usually pretend to show remorse and beg im sorrrrrrrry baby ill never do it again! and then they do it again.

what about abortion? where does that go on the bad things scale. worse than abuse? worse than cheating?

well i would THINK its worse than abuse, its damn killing a baby!!!!!! hahahahaah

now the jury of women says: but thats oversimplifying, and as a man, i have no place to talk. its just a nonsentient clump of cells at this point AND its a very humane compassionate choice, to spare the future child a life of hardship.

if you talk about “AGENCY” that is a DOGWHISTLE that you a shitlord racist hahahaha. because that means you are Punching Down on Oppressed Groups by Blaming the Victim, and by IMplying that Oppressed Groups had Agency in preventing or doing something about their Oppression.

Because Agency is defined according to the people in power (cis white men hahahaha) , Cis White Men Oppress Oppressed groups by taking AWAY their agency! so to say they still HAVE agency is denying that white men are oppressing them!

redacted

gr8 thread. beta autist 19 yo young man on my racistforum has a date with a Chubby Guatemalan and the talk gets REALLY real.

 

ITS NOT YOUR JOB TO CONVINCE THEM / U CANT TAKE DOWN THE BLOCK THEY PUT UP

1213

118/152 days since hhahaha.

you dont contact the person who misjudged YOU, got YOU wrong, did YOU wrong, screwed YOU, and BEG THEM to change their mind! or do you? leaning towards no. i have never been in this position before, and i sure as hell cant put myself in her position either, hard to empathize with someone who is wrong about YOU and screwing YOU over.

ok. so she basically told me GET THE FOOK OUT OF MY LIFE. she BLOCKED me, saying she didnt just want to not talk to me, but she didnt even want to LISTEN to me.

would i really want to be in a REL with someone who I was always BEGGING “I really didnt do anything wrong, please dont hate me, youre wrong, please reconsider, please listen to me, please dont throw me out of your life”, whenever she thought i did something wrong, even though i didnt do anything wrong????? fook no!

someone i was constantly trying to convince that they shouldnt hate me, please dont hate me, this really isnt a bad thing, this is a terrible misunderstanding, well yeah i mean you understand that i like you, but you dont understand how this isnt a betrayal! its not a horrible thing!

is it REALLY MY job to convince them of that? of convincing them that the things they think are bad, are really good?

again ive never done what she’s done before. i never held a grudge again someone like this, against someone who was reaching out and pleading and begging saying please dont hate me. there was always coldness on both sides.

mah boyz nationalist “RAC” band has a slow sad song where he growl sings mournfully. nice! i dont say his name because i am not sure he wants people to know its him in this band. however he might be coming out of the nationalist closet in 2015. great time to do it! its about time!

anyway. if you have to always convince the person not to hate you, that the shit youre doing is not really wrong, but they find it atrocious and want to throw you away for it and are always getting unspeakably mad at you for INVALD reasons and not talking to you …… well it doesnt sound like a good healthy rel with a future. and it doesnt sound like they really luv you.

their heart is not open to you WHATSOEVER.

i am still under the SPELL.

i mean, what the fook would i say to her? write her an email after 118 days, that she either blocks, deletes, doesn’t read, doesnt respond to, saying, hey havent contacted you in 118 days, are you ready to apologize yet? cuz i still NEED you, im not even close to being over you, and youre probably fooking guys because playing with human life is no big deal.

its just so weird and so disturbing that WOMEN would not take sex seriously. they have the most to lose! 100 / 0!!!!!

i am really closest to christians in muh view on sex, just need to find a devout christian gurl already and hope she doesnt try to convert me beyond going to church once a week hahahaha.

i mean shes shown NO intention to commuincate or reconcile. she STILL holds a GRUDGE against me. why is it MY job to convince her when shes in the wrong? is it THAT worth having a good ending? pulling teeth just to get her to reject me nicely? cuz she’s not gonna change her mind and be like she LOVES me now. then she would be more open and willing and make a damn effort and lift a damn finger.

i wonder what she did with the nice present and also the “dead giveaway” card i gave her last xmas. just throw them away? leave them? if she HATES me, shouldnt that be a reminder of the person who “BETRAYED” her and whom she hates? so she shouldnt have it somewhere where its easy to find? or maybe it will make her think of the guilt for treating me badly?

i saw a cute gurl at church that i could possibly get feelings for……but she was like 18 years old! pretty soon i will be old enough to be an 18 year old gurls FATHER hahahaha.

anyway she certainly didnt luv me….she didnt show me kindness at all! she said get out of my life forever! im not even willing to listen to you!

and i still want to “CONVINCE” her that shes mistaken?

yeah because i am still under the SPELL.

it would be different if we had been Dating for like 2 years and she misunderstood me and stopped talking to me. then shed probably be more willing to talk to me in the future after “cooling off.”

but that was not the case. theres nothing to really “go back to.” i dont want to go back to being just friends. i am ok with the rel ending, because we want diff things. thats fine. just dont HATE me because of it.

well as a beta male the best i can get is a beta female: ie, old, trashy, single mom, crazy, ugly, fat, a bad mate in other words. was she too alpha for me? out of my league? the fact that she had “too much baggage” (which is what i said when i first met her), but then later decided was not dealbreaking baggage; was baggage i could easily live with; maybe i need a “beta woman” with some “baggage” so she can sink down to my league hahahahaha.

anyway she did the equivalent of throwing me out and changing the locks. i just dont like being hated like this. for stupid wrong reasons. by someone i dont hate. i have never been in this position before. and i hope to never be again. i can barely live through this one. it has killed me and set me back YEARS and made me an even huger pathetic loser. its horrible. didnt just ruin this YEAR, may well ruin next year as well.

i wish i had never met her, or wish she had jsut gotten married to the first boifran, but HE wanted to be done with her!

and i think she still doesnt hate HIM. she is disappointed he didnt luv her as much. but she doesnt hate him. well of course not! she luved him! i wish she could have shown me a little of that luv. in a WAY she DID, she was REALLY REALLY nice to me, and i came to really like that. then she was REALLY REALLY mean to me. and the bad ultimately outweighed the good.

https://www.quora.com/You-love-a-girl-and-she-hates-you-She-knows-you-love-her-and-you-know-she-will-not-accept-you-There-is-a-high-probability-that-you-irritate-her-How-can-you-convince-her-that-you-will-never-hurt-her-feelings-and-love-her-forever

google she hates me because i love her

http://forums.psychcentral.com/relationships-communication/260838-i-told-girl-i-liked-her-now-she-hates-me.html

results: you cant make someone love you

contacting her again would just irritate her and make her hate me more

her getting so ridic offended by me liking her is HER hangup/issue, i cant fix it or convince her.

if you luv them let them go hhahahaha and if it was really meant to be, they will come back. welp looks like it wasnt meant to be then cuz she aint coming back hahaha.

http://forums.psychcentral.com/relationships-communication/

heheheheheheheheheheheheheheh interesting forum, a few of muh favourite things there

ok. so on MW new vidya, i lap these up like a white woman laps up black coch, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KFW9BWlBc-0  a commenter says something like indigenous alpha women go to the indigenous alpha men, indigenous beta women go to the exogenous alpha men, while the indigenous beta men get exogenous beta women. in terms of trashy (beta) white women being “poached” by black men with confidence and swagger and charisma and muh dick, and beta white men have to go outside of their race for a mate because women of their own white race dont like them, think they are wimpy pussies.

did she treat with THAT much disrespect because i was THAT much of a beta? and its fine to be Just Friends, but the idea of the Huge Beta getting feelings is SO repulsive, its instinctly repulsive and disgusting, like bestiality or incest or child raep?

well if an animal fell in luv with me, i would still treat it kindly and say sorry animal but i just dont feel that way. treat people the way you want to be treated. golden rule.

anyway thank god for those articles, convinced me not to contact her. when somebody hates you and wants you to stay away……you stay away. if they want to come back, THEY have to come back. if you keep bugging them they will just continue to hate you. right or wrong. in this case horribly wrong hahahaha.

well i hate that she saw it as bugging. fook why cant you just talk or hang out with the person who was once your friend?

hanging out is not a bad thing! getting feelings is not a bad thing or betrayal!

she saw things for what they were but had the WRONG REACTION to them.

so im supposed to respect her feelings when her feelings are so stupid and wrong and hurtful to me?

well i wont respect that but i will ACCEPT that in that i would never FORCE her to do anything. she can have her own free will even if it is hurtful and horrible. freedom to destroy me. hahaha.

just using google maps to follow the vistula river in poland, and stumble upon auschwitz hahahaha i guess its really not that shocking. auschwitz was a town ever since 1200

i dont think its worth being hated over. she is wrong to hate me. so, should i contact her friends or family and ask them to take my side? that would probably make her hate me too.

its just her damn issue.

whenever i hated someone, it was for much more valid reasons: they had DUMPED me, not they were in LOVE with me!

i mean maybe i shouldnt have HATED them, and certainly my hate died down, but its UNDERSTANDABLE to be angry at someone who rejects you.

so i guess its Similarly Understandable to be Angry at someone who likes you, but you dont like back, because it presents and awkward, frustrating, stupid situation?

fine, but not this much! AND the person being dumped has license to be angrier than the person being liked! in fact, many times, the person being liked is not super mad! but they say awwww and have sympathy for the person they have to reject!

she rejected me so hatefully because i was a beta. REBUTTED: i was a BIGGER beta with the previous woman, and SHE rejected me in a very nice, mature, respectly, kind, awesome way! It was AWESOME being rejected by you, thank you SO much hahahaa.

russia directly borders north korea for about 5 miles. the nearest large city is vladivostok. so we have a european country, in the eastmost of asia, where “the majority of the population is russian or ukrainian” ie white hahahahaha.

interesting to see white cities in areas you think of as nonwhite hahaha. white white white white i am obsessed with whites. this is my body telling me REPRODUCE. HAVE CHILDREN. YOU ARE GETTING OLD. HOW HAVE YOU NOT REPRODUCED YET.

so Despair is very maladaptive to life, so why does it pass on in the genes? because in the past, most people had children YOUNG, so they had several children before their first despair episode came on at age 19 or 20 or so.

and also women. women will always reproduce, so i blame all the shitty genetic stuff on them hahahahaha.

like are there cute young white girls in IRKUTSK for example hahahaha . probably yes.

google nightclubs in irkutsk hahahahaha

every city is gonna have a univeristy and near that univ there will be bars and clubs and pubs where 20-25 year old women will be out there bending over selling their sperm sewers to the most fun, secsy, masculine, dominant men hahahahahahahahah

well certainly a city of 500000 people like irkutsk!!!!!

10000 not so sure. 100000 maybe not even. 300000 getting warmer.

they say there are TEN THOUSAND people in the WORLD at any given moment who would be a perfect match for you. that you could fall in lub with.

uhhhhhhhh it sounds like a lot……but its really not. with 7 billion people, its amazing anyone could ever meet ANY ONE of those 10000. and i have met like 6 of them. i am counting women that i fell in real luv with and been heartbroken by, did stupid things over, took a long time to get over. i might get rid of one of them hahahaha. the criteria is heartbreak or stupid shit.

so if finns are mongolians, what about estonians hahahahaha. in the white racist community there is this big conspiracy that finns are really asians hahahaha. just super light skinned. they are not full “europids”. i dunno i would prob have keeds with a cute finnish gurl hahahaha.

maybe all this heartbreak is a sign that i need to not just look for white gurls, but white girls that are closer to my own white subset. like there are celts and anglo saxons and germans and slavs and balts and scandinavians and gauls and iberians and scythians and all that. maybe a gurl within my own subset of Whites would understand me best, and luv me, and not throw me under the bus.

bbbbbut there are plenty of alpha males in my proud ethnicity. so i could get a beta woman then. like a woman with no father, but she didnt become a slut or a single mom hahahahaha. see its hard to find that “Higher Beta” woman. cuz sluts and single mothers, thats TOO beta.

yeah but what have I done with my life? im a huge beta too!

yeah. shit.  just realize someone has feelings. see that as a beautiful thing, dont get angry at them for it, and reject them gently. appreciate that somebody has feelings for you. shit i would be FLATTERED.

ARE ALL WOMEN LIKE THAT ?!?!?!?!?!

1204

shit. delicious tacos is a great writer but i dont know if i need that kind of pessimism and degeneracy right now!

but i have decided to indulge myself in Hate after listening to this ramzpaul video about love and hate.

about weak cucks who are terrified to respond to the paris attacks with “islamaphobia” and the guy whose wife was killed but immediately he said he did not hate them, he forgave them, and just hideous cuck weakness.

and ramz says the opposite of luv is not indifference, like that retarded saying, but its really hate, just like common sense initially tells you. two sides of the same coin, two sides of the same spectrum, and its possible that if you do not know how to hate, you dont know how to truly LOVE!!!!!!!

so i decided rather than being AFRAID of my hate like so many weak cucks, i would embrace my hate. for those who had wronged me and broke my heart hahahaha. i thought some thoughts i cannot repeat here hahahaha. i thought what would be the best “revenge.” i thought maybe if she got aids from some black thug then slowly died of aids, also had a mixed baby with aids who would slowly die along with her.

then i thought, thats a little too much, withering away with aids is too much. i thought it would be better if she jsut had some brown babies with several black thugs who abandoned her and the babies, over the next 10 years she had about 3 of those and threw her white genes away; AND balloon up into a huge white trash hambeast, 400 pounds at least. that would be PERFECT. morbidly obese white trash with brown babies who can only get secs from black thug bottom feeders, and quite simply can’t attract a good decent man any more cuz shes that fat and depraved, and all she can get are black thugs on tinder for pump and dump, while her mixed kids grow up to be thugs, and she balloons up to 500 pounds, maybe THEN she gets aids at age 40 or so hahahaha and withers down to 200 pounds hahaha.

unfort her family does not seem prone to fatness like 99% of amerifats. come on. just eat more shitty food fatty.

the idea of sadistically torturing her did not appeal to me though, i did not want to cause her terror and pain, however if she were instantly k’ed by a bus i might think that was fair hahahaha.

really i just want her to become a loser at life, cant handle her job, cant handle the heartbreak, just quit and give up and be heartbroken like me. go through the same pain i am.

but she’s prob doing this BECAUSE she is going through heartbreak, she is supposedly heartbroken from the scumbag she short term dated. she was kinda thrown away by him, heart broken, cant get revenge on him, so she needs to take that out on somebody.  i was the PERFECT target for that, because she thought i was so annoying and unfair.  she had some revenge of her own to get, some hate to express, and i was the perfect target. makes perfect sense.

she was already heartbroken. well i want her to be heartbroken again. by someone she works with. so she has to quit her job. for example, maybe she could give it up to some guy(s) at the job, like a whore. but then she can get feelings, fall in luv, and then the guy can just IGNORE her, even though they work together. then she can go crazy and quit the job and be completely devastated and broken in every way. i think this would be a suitable revenge for me hahahaha.

of course then she would just slut it up afterwards, giving sex to all sorts of sleazy men, and i dont have that “privilege” hahahaha. i dont think id want that privilege.

and then she could become a 400 pound mud shark white trash with brown babies and she can’t even get an attractive white man to fook her any more, can only pull black bottom feeding thugs and felons.

fook yeah im a racist, i dont like it when white women fook or have brown babies with black men! i just dont like it and im not sorry! i want white women to have babies with white men!!!! white women who fook black men are TRASHY! i am disappointed when white women even consider fooking nonwhite men!

its partially my own preferences. i prefer white women, i would never want to have children with anything but a white woman, so therefore i prefer white women who themselves prefer white men!

maybe she could become a damn drug addict or alcoholic too.

but see, she was never into drugs or alcohol or slutting it up. if she had avoided all those by age 25…..thats GOOD! and that is part of why i liked her.

shit when i was 21 i was drinking like a MADMAN. i basically drank like a MADMAN from ages 18 to 26. it was STUPID. i drank more than the average rowdy young Adult, to where i clearly had a Drinking Problem, but i wouldnt call myself an “alcoholic” hahahaha. but it was definitely a problem.

she never had this! she barely drinks at ALL! thats GOOD! she doesnt abuse drugs either! like other white trash people pop pain pills. she doesnt!

anyway yeah. i was the perfect “victim” because she had been done wrong and she needed to do somebody wrong. the timing was PERFECT for that for her. and i was the PERFECT person to do that to, because i was “SO” annoying and it was SO unfair that i got these feelings for her. so, break MY heart  and throw me away, the way her heart was broken and she was thrown away.

because you cant get revenge on THAT person directly. she couldnt get revenge on that guy, cuz he just didnt really care. i cant get revenge on her, i mean break HER heart, because she doesnt love me. i cant possibly break her heart. but i do want someone else to break her heart again in the future hahahahahah to get revenge FOR me hahahaha. karmic revenge. pref a guy she works with so she has to quit her job.

i want her to be so out of control of her emotions that she quits her living wage job.

i want her to completely love someone and be thrown away by them.

well supposedly thats what already happened. and thats why she did it to ME. well now i want somebody to do it to HER again. one of the first things i said when it happened to me was, I NEVER WANT TO DO THIS TO SOMEBODY ELSE. and i hope i never do. the cycle of abuse stops with me hahahaha.

i can totally understand why people do it, especially if they are undergoing ongoing horrible abuse, like being raept by your father, that you then take it out by bullying others, torturing animals, etc. or if you are a korean getting verbally abused all day, you get out of work, get drunk on cheap rice liquor, and verbally abuse your wife and children, then pass out on the floor or are vomiting on the sidewalk at 11 pm on a weeknight hahaha.

oh yeah i finally have a life protip for once: if you have trouble sleeping try earplugs. i have become such a light sleeper that any damn sound will wake me up for an hour. so earplugs can block out all sound and make it like you are in a hermetically sealed tomb hahaha. it has been sorta working for me lately. i usually sleep on left side so my right ear is open to the world. so i just use one earplug, in the right ear. not bad.

i think she is real good at doing out of sight, out of mind, push shit under the rug. but i worry about shit. i cant ignore or avoid it. i worry about it.

scott weiland dead. well cant say im surprised! im surprised he lived this long! they arent saying what it was yet, but it HAD TO BE drugs. prob heroin. maybe heroin mixed with cocaine. he was a good singer but obviously a huge degenerate. but i can understand the want to do hard drugs. sometimes i think heroin would be good for me to block out the pain hhahhaahaha. i wonder what kind of father he was to his 2 known children. probably horrible hahaha.

when you are in LUV with somebody, you want to have secs with THEM AND ONLY THEM. you arent tempted by other people. well at least im not. i can say yeah that gurl at the gym is very attractive but i just dont care abotu banging them. secs is something special you do with your loved one, and i only have one loved one.

is this really so controversial and weird?????!!!??????

i kinda want to contact her and say THIS IS WRONG. YOU CANT DO THIS. THIS IS HORRIBLE. YOU SHOULD FEEL HORRIBLE and beg for my forgiveness. which i do because i still luv you hahaha. but now i HATE you a bit too and want you to suffer for this. by having your heart broken AGAIN, devastating you, making you quit your job, being abandoned and thrown away without a word. YOU DONT DO THAT TO SOMEONE. i will never do this to someone even though its been done to me. i know you had you heart broken but you didnt have to do it to ME. get mad at that guy. not ME.

shit it makes perfect sense, i made a big breakthrough. this hate shes showing to me is really a projection of the hate she feels towards him, but cant express to him.

she doesnt really hate ME, she hates HIM! maybe i should contact her to tell her this hahahha.

so her brain is not workign regarding her hating me and throwing me away.

does that mean her brain isnot working correctly regarding her having feelings for me?

i dont think so, that is, i think she really does know what she wants regarding having feelings for me, that is, she REALLY doesnt have feelings for me.

and if she DID, she would come to me begging forgiveness. or have a friend or family contact me. i would totally take that hahahaha. she could have her mom email, call, or text me on her behalf if shes too ashamed………and i wouldnt blame her for being ashamed! ……… so maybe i SHOULD contact her then!

shit. like 110 days of NIC and i am still thinking about contacting her!

how to take verbal abuse at work?

you say, dont talk to me like that. treat me with respect.

and if they fire you they fire you. you have the moral high ground.

if it’s your boss, go to your boss’s boss and tell them so and so is being verbally abusive. you have told them to stop, but they continue. please have a chat with them and tell them to stop being a fooking rude little phaggot bitch. it reflects poorly on our company. thank you.

if a customer is verbally abusing you, say, if you do not calm down and show me some respect, i will be forced to hang up. ITS YOUR CHOICE. ITS UP TO YOU. even if your companys policy is to sit there and take the abuse. then let the company fire you. you have the moral high ground.

symphony of sorrowful songs, heres some great nondegenerate music that will chill you out, rahter than scott weiland shooting dope, banging whores, and abandoning his children. thats exactly why i dont listen to music, its made by people like that.

i used to be a big led zeppelin fan, but led zeppelin were HUGE degenerates, perhaps the biggest degens of all.

i also like the music of grateful dead, allman brothers, a lot of 70s bands………all degenerates.

all those metal bands i like? degen. drunk nihilists who would sell their soul for slutty groupies.

hehe i bet even henryk gorecki was a degenerate. tons of gay sex at music school hahaha. abandoning his children. drugs. he was a j00.

ok he was not a j00, he was a straight up polish roman catholic. good. ok he doesnt seem too degen reading his biog. but you never know. there is only one sentence about his wife and keedz.

QUOTE

”  In 1972, he was promoted to assistant professor,[24] and developed a fearsome reputation among his students for his often blunt personality. According to the Polish composer Rafał Augustyn, “When I began to study under Górecki it felt as if someone had dumped a pail of ice-cold water over my head. He could be ruthless in his opinions. The weak fell by the wayside but those who graduated under him became, without exception, respected composers”.[25] Górecki admits, “For quite a few years, I was a pedagogue, a teacher in the music academy, and my students would ask me many, many things, including how to write and what to write. I always answered this way: If you can live without music for 2 or 3 days, then don’t write…It might be better to spend time with a girl or with a beer…If you cannot live without music, then write.”[37]    ”

i THINK what he MEANS is, just give it up, if you can live without music for even 2 or 3 days, you dont have what it takes, go find solace in women or booze instead, you are not a real musician.

I DUNNO, i can go 2 or 3 days without msuic BECUASE i find musicians too degenerate exactly about stuff like women and booze! is how i would reply to gorecki.

but he was talking to academic classical musicians at a conservatory, not to teen scumbags in a garage huffing glue and drinking cheap vodka and smoking dirtweed and bathsalts and meth and popping pain pills and banging white trash tattooed sluts who like guys in shitty bands. two very different kidns of musician here.

maybe i should try arvo part?

philip glass. whoops he is a j00. as is steve reich. no i dont hate all j00s and not all j00s are total degenerates……but at this stage of my life, i dont really really really NEED any additional j00ish influence in my life such that i seek out new j00s to add it to. even if philip glass is awesome.

well lets put it this way, i would prefer to cut out ALL TV from my life, before I add philip glass into it. also listening to new music at my age takes effort i dont have. its not worth it. the pros do not outweigh the cons.

its amazing they dont have a pcture of this san bernardino shooters wife. or gurlfran or whatever. supposedly she radicalized him. but who ever heard of a WOMAN who doesnt have a PICTURE of herself? women LITERALLY take pictures of themselves EVERY DAY because theyre NARCISSISTS hahahahahaha.

laci green, i have been hearing about her, she sounds like a real degenerate. started life as a nice white mormon girl, became a pro-slut, pansexual, atheist, planned parenthood, sex educator. NOPE!!!!!

http://io9.com/5606765/myths-about-the-love-hormone-oxytocin-that-could-ruin-your-love-life

she shares a link stating that oxytocin is bullshit pushed by sex negative conservatives like me hahahaha so go ahead and take 900000000000 casual  cox

she makes a scant 20 videos a year, has a MILLION subscribers, and doesnt have one single video talking about faithfulness, loyalty, heartbreak, feelings, monogamy, or communication.

its just all hookups, buttplay, squirting, consent, FWB, NSA, open rels, chill hangouts, 50 shades of gray, orgasms, shaving, labias, queefing, degen shit. nothing on how to COMMUNICATE about your FEELINGS in a RELATIONSHIP with a HUMAN BEING.

yet this is her fookin CAREER. ridiculous.

there is nothing wrong with jealousy. it means you dont want your partner to DUMP YOU or CHEAT ON you. so it means you dont trust your partner? WELL, SHOULD YOU? have they really earned your trust? or does she have 90000000000000 guy friends and is always talking to guys? and has had 9000000000000 boifrans and dumped them all after short rels? fook no you shouldnt trust that!

hehehe i guess i secretly want to bang her but she would never let me because i am creepy and old and take sex too seriously and just a creepy white creep loser hahahaa

oh yeah i saw her on MW favorites, where a switched on person asks laci green if shed ever heard of rotherham and of course she hadnt, over a year later. someone who fights against “rape culture” has never heard of the biggest mass raping in years.

sargon of akkad is huge and shows how normal people dont like feminists and sjws and is kinda bringing good stuff in to the mainstream. he appeared suddenly and grew quickly and now makes $1000 per video. amazing. a year ago i never heard of him.

anyway i just want him to say, im left or im right. rather than be a weak leftist libertarian who just happens to dislike feminism because he’s too beta to SMASH PVSSY hahahaha. and mad that feminists are bitching about vidya games in gamergate hahahaha.

goddam bitch! i betrayed her by getting feelings for her???!?!?! SHE BETRAYED ME by throwing me away like a piece of garbage when we had known each other for almost 3 years!!!!!!!!!! you dont do that to someone you KNOW, no matter if youre ANGRY at them!!! you only get to throw away people you dont know! lets say less than 3 MONTHS but even 2 months would be better!

is this an all women thing? do all women throw men away like this? wiht no remorse?

ARE ALL WOMEN LIKE THAT???!?!?!?!?!?!

no just 99% of them hahahaha.

whenever i say “99% of x are bad”, i remind myself i’m PROBABLY engaging in all or nothing thinking, and it would be a DRASTIC IMPROVEMENT to instead say “This is all or nothing thinking. how about only 50% of them are like that. THATS MUCH BETTER.” and indeed it is!!!!!!!!!!1

when there is any doubt, always go with 50%!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

WOES makes a good point that when some rightists and esp libertarians harp about MUH FREEDOMS, they seem to be confusing FREEDOM with LICENSE, in the sense of LICENTIOUSNESS, ie DEGENERACY. ie FREEDOM TO BE A DEGENERATE. do anything any everything as long as you are not hurting anyone besides yourself.

well i say that degeneracy like casual sex is not a victimless crime: what about the hearts you break? thats a big deal i’d say. if you break even one heart, you should do some sort of commensurate punishment: like abstain from casual sex for at least one year. beg the person for forgiveness, better yet, earn their forgiveness. give them a new job, give them a full ounce of dank MJ, give them $1000, give them 30 tapering-off bangs, LISTEN to their monologues and their long emails, apologize profusely.

well just because youre not having a rel, doesnt mean casual sex people treat their secx partners like DISPOSABLE REPLACEABLE GARBAGE. or so they say hahaha. i mean they really do. well, maybe give these sexually immoral degens the benefit of the doubt haha. but honestly these dumb sluts on laci greens videos dont understand that for men to get sex, it takes SKILL. for women to get sex, it takes NOTHING. NO SKILL. thats a big part of why the slut stud double standard exists. and it all springs from woman are the ones who get pregnant, and getting pregnant is a BIG DEAL. thats why its hard for men to get sex.

i dont mind THAT at all. it only makes sense given the pregnancy thing. what DOES annoy me is when WOMEN dont RECOGNIZE this, and they think its ok to be sluts!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and complain about slut shaming! being a slut IS shameful, period! and they dont recognize this. they of all people SHOULD recongize this! how can WOMEN, the ones who DO get pregnant, NOT understand this? because pregnancy gives them a kind of power or privilege (heheheheheh) and when you have Pvssy Privilege, you dont NEED to understand, like what sjw sensitive narcissist triggered college student crybullies say about cis white privilege?

well….these are kinda self-selected sluts, no? the type of peopel who would watch, comment, respect LACI GREEN. of COURSE theyre dumb sluts! who dont understand how the mating market works, how the world works, how nature works. MORONS.

i wouldnt mind using the elliptical if it didnt MAKE you go a minimum of 5 mph. i like to go 3 mph most of the time, then bump it up to 5.5 only some of the time. certainly less than half.

 

THE BETRAYAL LITMUS TEST / QUESTIONNAIRE FOR PROSPECTIVE WIFE

WARNING: TEN THOUSAND WORD POAST

1124

yeah its just a bad ending.

she refused to work on it, refused to compromise, refused to fooking TALK.

when someone goes from liking you (at least as a person), to HATING you and just throwing you away like a subhuman, and you think they could never do that to a person, least of all you!

i hurt you with a mere -1! dont hurt me with a huge -20!!!!!!!

part of a rel ending is that they try to WORK on it before calling it quits. that really bothered me that she was not even willing to try to work on it.

ok, so she cant force herself to have feelings for me, that wasnt something she could TRY at, but we could still “work on it” in terms to trying to end it like adults, she says her thing, i say my thing, and we make sure we both understand each other fully. rather than me pouring myself out to her and her saying nothing and flushing me away.

well yesterday was kinda rough hahahaha. today seems better. no stupid dreams about her.

i SHOULD be a lot more angry at her. but i still remember her as this gentle kind person i love(d). yet she showed no mercy to me and my heart and me as a person. its amazing i dont hate her fooking guts. maybe that will come in time.

was i so unreasonable for wanting a talk?

no i dont think so.

but maybe i am unreasonable in thinking a talk would make things so much better.

well i think it would be faster to move on, i would go faster towards Hating Her, and it would give the certainty, like yeah she said this and means it. but she did that in a way anyway.

i guess a talk would have been easier to believe? more concrete, more real? what happened here still does not seem real. so therefore i can compartmentalise and delude myself and act like that nice gurl is still there, and this is the work of someone who doesnt know what theyre doing, and therefore they could change their mind, therefore there is still hope.

but still. i think if we had tried to work things out or tried to communicate, and then i saw that didnt work, maybe i would gradually become disillusioned with the rel, as she did, meaning i would want it to be over too, because we tried to fix it, sort of, but her heart was not fully in it, she was not committed to the fix, and then i would fall out of luv with her hahahaha yeah right.

no i would be the one committed to fixing it, she would unenthusiastically talk to me and go through the motions, the process would repeat itself and she would show her obvious lack of committment until i dumped her or she dumped me. prob the latter. because i never want to give up on somebody i luv. but she didnt luv me as much,, or at all, so, easier for her to dump.

but back in the day, she was so nice to me, i kinda thought she might LIKE me. that was probably just Feminine Niceness, but god damn it was nice. its a lot better that Feminine Coldness, which is a total 180 from the Feminine Niceness.

i mean she thinks i BETRAYED her and thats why she hates me. well shes WRONG! i didnt BETRAY her! she hates me for the wrong reasons! so thats why i constantly think if i could just contact her and make her understand why she’s WRONG, maybe then she wouldnt hate me. maybe then she could luv me hahahahaha. i mean maybe i could get her to stop hating me (not likely, she has to make that decision herself), but no way could i make her luv me!

but i still desperately hope she will change her mind.

but she’s so WRONG to HATE me! i didnt do anything worth hating! she’s WRONNNGGGGG! she has a wrong perception of the whole thing! im not trying to change her FEELINGS, im trying to change her PERCEPTION!!!!!

show me a little care and comfort and concern. all the gurls who dumped me did that, if only to cover their own ass, to not feel guilty, to say they dumped me the best they could. nobody wants to feel HATED. besides what if i were a  psycho hahahaha.

funny now i get dumped AND i feel like i am HATED. terrible feels!

is it just because shes inexperienced in dumping guys? and the only way shes ever dumped guys is when theyve wronged her and she dumps them with extreme prejudice? so even though i didnt deserve it, thats what i got, becuase shes not EXPERIENCED enough to know any better?

hahahaha well she has thousands of hours of cuddling and secs that i dont!

well dumping and thousands of hours of cuddling are 2 different things hahaha.

WELL, i would argue they;re RELATED, thru COMMUNICATION. when you spend THOUSANDS of hours cuddling with them, you SHOULD learn how to communicate with them on a deep level, to talk about important things, to speak openly and honestly, all things that will come in handy when you are trying to dump somebody without DESTROYING them.

well that guy she didnt DUMP. HE wanted out probably even more than she did!

still. DONT DEFEND HER, DONT MAKE EXCUSES for her. I know fully well how to dump someone properly even though I HAVE NEVER DONE IT. i know how just from BEING dumped, and from researching stuff on the internet, and being an EMPATH, and knowing that Dumping HURTS. so i bet i could dump somebody 90000000000000 times better than she dumped me. even though i have even LESS experience. AND no thousands of hours of cuddling either. i doubt i have 8 hours of cuddling hahahaha. and certainly not recent experience. not in the last 30% of my life hahahaha.

so she went from liking very much as a friend, to feeling betrayed, and hating me.

i went from liking as a friend, to like liking as more than a friend. and this is what caused her to feel betrayed by and hate me.

so we can clearly see she misinterpreted that, you shouldnt feel betrayed by that.

also my progression of feelings, from like to like like, was not too weird or horrible, but her progression of feelings, from liking to hating, uhhh that was kinda weird and horrible.

and it wasnt like i was just a passing acquaintance or fook buddy to her, i got the impression that i mattered a lot to her, and that we were Good Friends as opposed to just ok in passing friends.

i think she appreciated having a Good Friend, and I appreciated it too….so MUCH in fact, that my feelings got even stronger / higher. probably had to do with the fact that my Good Friend was also a Purty Young Gurl, who had recently become Single. but prob not Available hahahaha.

basically she reacted the worst way possible when finding out a male friend liked her. the absolute worst way possible. to get all butthurt and offended and mad and hateful and then react according to those feelings.

google female friend hates me for getting feelings for me

https://www.quora.com/I-just-tried-to-kiss-my-close-friend-girl-She-hates-me-now-How-do-I-get-her-back-How-do-I-apologize

so she TRUSTED me as Just A Friend she could be SAFE around.

and i broke that TRUST. thats why she hates me.

well i didnt try to make out with her. i just wanted to talk to her about it! but i couldnt even HANG OUT with her!

yeah i should have sent her an email or text but god damn. i was sending signals that werent as blatant as forcing myself on her!!!

but she still feels i broke her TRUST. and thats a good reason to hate somebody.

she basically trusted me not to like her.

i dont think thats a reasonable trust!

well i did tell her a year prior to that that i wasnt secretly in luv with her. cuz i wasnt!

did i trust her not to like me?

not really, no! because i figured that anything can happen in man woman rels! that sometimes somebody can get feelings! and i wouldnt have hated her if she got feelings (before i did.) i CERTAINLY would have been willing to talk to her about it!

but its different for women. thats why men do not “friendzone” women. men are more threatening to women than women are to men, so thats why she TRUSTED me.

https://www.loveforum.net/ask-a-female-forum/30032-lost-friend-told-love.html

very similar situation hahahaha.

so shes cutting me off becuase she knows we cant be just friends any more, and i agree. but why not at least just tell me what you’re doing, send me some emails telling me how you feel, just like i sent you some emails telling you how i feel?

http://www.thefriendshipblog.com/forums/topic/just-been-friend-dumped/

dumped by a friend for no reason. not really the same thing.

yeah i really think it was that trust issue thing. which is why i really wanted to TALK TO HER ABOUT IT.

well i should have done it a LOT SOONER. like as soon as it happened. as SOON as i was getting curious about this new boifran of hers, i should have asked her about him.

as SOON as i got feelings for her (or maybe giving it ONE WEEK, NO MORE, of thinking it over), i should have TOLD her. told her in an email because she didnt want to hang out. OR, said, i want to hang out because WE NEED TO TALK, I HAVE SOMETHING IMPORTANT I WANT TO TELL YOU.

i dont think it would have made her luv me, but maybe she wouldnt hate me so much.

i am one of those ballless beta bitchtits bitchbois who really likes the idea of “MY WIFE IS MY BEST FRIEND” hahahahaha

this is from the women, who hopefulyl dumped the guy a little better

heres one from the guys perspective, prob more useful

well both are good threads, well worth reading.

HOW HARD IS IT TO WRITE AN EMAIL. SERIOUSLY.

i am a big ass coward but even i can still write and send emails. I sent FOUR emails, she responded to NONE of them.

yeah i could have been better about confessing muh luv but the truth eventually came out.

if i had liked her RIGHT AWAY i would have either stayed away from her or asked her to dump her boifrand.

i just never got “friendzoned” so hard, because i never got feelings for a female friend before!!!!!

but i AMMMMMMMM Emotionally Mature enough to know that you CANT BE JUST FRIENDS when one person likes the other! so that was NEVER my intent. im not THAT stupid and weak and deluded.

but it also doesnt follow that that friendship needs to end in a hateful horrible way. have a talk, say what you need to say, both people apologize, pay respects to the relationship, and both agree it cant go on as a one sided painfest.

but you dont need to Look Back in Anger, and hate, and etc.

google should I ask for an apology

well i would like an apology, but mainly i want to get together with her. but maybe i could get it to end better.

but do i really want to talk to her if she is not apologetic? not really.

i wish she had jsut screamed at me and said FOOK OFF YOU COWARD YOU BETRAYED MY TRUST YOU WERENT SUPPOSED TO LIKE ME, I TRUSTED YOU YOU LIAR!!!!!!

but nope, not even that.

i know email3 at least, i directly spoke to the idea of betrayal. i made it clear that i was not hiding secret feelings from the beginning. i told the timeline of how and when i started to get feelings. i said my mind was made up in october. i said that i wanted to talk in person, not at work. i said yeah its bad timing. i said yeah i should have asked you directly about the new boifran. i said yeah i should have just sent you an email in january or february telling you everything. things had changed for me and i thought it would be dishonest not to tell you about that change. thats why things have been getting weirder and weirder here. i am not trying to manipulate or lie to you. we just havent had a good chance to talk in literally 10 months.

i said i can see how you might think this is a betrayal of trust. i never wanted to hide anything.  i said all this in the emails. still no response from her.

so its obvious theres nothign more i can do. i mean, i CAN contact her again, but i am very ambivalent about that.

so she feels BETRAYED.

well believe me i didnt like holding the truth back from her! i was TRYING to talk to her. but she wouldnt let me talk!

but is that even her responsibility though? to let me talk? but she was UNCOMFORTABLE!

she was uncomfortable because she KNEW something had changed! but she didnt want to talk about it.

yeah i SHOULD have told her sooner. (i said that in the email too of course.) i pussyfooted around for a few extra months. i think feb or march i should have told her.

but i kept hoping against hope we would hang out and we could have the conversation in person. and she SORT OF strung me along there cuz she said yeah we will hang out soon.

i dunno i just think i deserved an EMAIL at least.

so i went to kmart because they have a good everlast exercise shirt. they were all out of black xl short sleeved shirts. of course! so i bought the kmart brand instead. basically i am looking for something that wont blatantly look like its soaked with sweat when it is indeed soaked with sweat. this is kind of hard to do!

but yeah kmart is a good source of everlast shirts in other words. go to kmart.

i was just trying to tell her, i didnt betray you, i didnt betray you, but she didnt want to hear it. she was convinced i betrayed her. maybe i DID betray her. put myself in her shoes. she trusted me to not get feelings for her. i got feelings for her. i told her abotu a year before i got feelings, that i didnt have feelings for her. but at that time i was telling the truth! (i mentioned this in an email too!)

so maybe im deluding myself by saying no i didnt betray you because i didnt INTEND to, i didnt THINK i was betraying you. she still FELT betrayed.

well if i had a female friend who started to get feelings for me, i wouldnt feel BERAYED, i’d want to TALK TO HER ABOUT IT FIRST. and if she swore up and down that she didnt have feelngs, but then continued to act like she had feelings, then i might feel betrayed. no, not even. id say stop bullshitting me, stop kidding YOURSELF. of COURSE you have feelings for me. just tell me about it.

if she had done any of that to me i would have said YES YES YES i have feelings for you! i have been trying to tell you for MONTHS!

google how to convince someone that you didnt betray them when they wont talk to you

hahahahahaha

so if she THINKS i betrayed her, i betrayed her?!?!?!?!?!?! even if i didnt? did I?

take it to COURT, what does the evidence say?

google did i betray someone

google how do i know if i betrayed someone

https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/stronger-the-broken-places/201206/betrayal-it-s-not-just-about-infidelity

was i living a lie? was i pretending i didnt like her? i was giving a constant stream of signals, it was like blowing off steam. the signals said that i had feelings. and indeed i did! here i was being HONEST!!!!!

its kind of like i feel “betrayed” by her flushing our whole rel down the toilet and hating me. I know it wasnt quite a betrayal, it was more of a misunderstanding, and very hurtful, but it wasnt a BETRAYAL. a BETRAYAL is someone LYING or HIDING or CHEATING.

HIDING was the closest i did, and i wasnt actively hiding it, i was trying to let it out, and gave plenty of signals because i didnt WANT to hide it, i didnt WANT to betray and be dishonest.

soooo i didnt “betray” her, i just hurt her then. hurt her a lot. just like she hurt me a lot, but didnt “BETRAY” me per se.

but she totally misunderstood it to be HURT by me LIKING her! I was more within my rights to be HURT by her hatefully dumping me without a word!!!!!!!!!! thats a lot more inherently HURTFUL than your friend getting feelings for you.

but maybe this is all on me because i cant REALIZE and ADMIT how much i hurt HER. hmmmm.

yeah well i hurt her -1, she hurt me -20. come on.

and yet i still want to talk to her, she doesnt want to talk to me. cuz she felt i hurt her -20?????

yeah this is a bigass falling out.

i dont think she ever had a situation like this. a male friend who fell in love with her, then begged her to communicate with him, and she had to dump him. this is all a first for her, just like its a first for me. yeah well even i would have handled it better cause i would have sent an email saying sorry i know this must hurt, but we can never get together. so sorry. have a good life, buh bye.

rather than I HATE U FOR GETTING FEELINGS FOR ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

all these articles are on how to deal with betrayal, not how to determine IF its betrayal or not.

WHAT IS THE BETRAYAL LITMUS TEST?

” Betrayal is the breaking or violation of a presumptive contract, trust, or confidence that produces moral and psychological conflict within a relationship amongst individuals, between organizations or between individuals and organizations. Often betrayal is the act of supporting a rival group, or it is a complete break from previously decided upon or presumed norms by one party from the others.

An act of betrayal creates a signature constellation of negative behaviours, thoughts, and feelings in both its victims and its perpetrators. The interactions are complex. The victims exhibit anger and confusion, and demand atonement from the perpetrator; who in turn may experience guilt or shame, and exhibit remorse. If, after the perpetrator has exhibited remorse or apologized, the victim continues to express anger, this may in turn cause the perpetrator to become defensive, and angry in turn. Acceptance of betrayal can be exhibited if victims forego the demands of atonement and retribution; but is only demonstrated if the victims do not continue to demand apologies, repeatedly remind the perpetrator or perpetrators of the original act, or ceaselessly review the incident over and over again.[2]

Some types of betrayal in romantic relationships include sexual infidelity, conditional commitment, a nonsexual affair, lying, forming a coalition against the partner, absenteeism or coldness, withdrawal of sexual interest, disrespect, unfairness, selfishness, and breaking promises.[4] ”

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Betrayal

in some ways, its like we both betrayed each other!

i violated the PRESUMPTIVE trust that i would never have feelings for her.

well we never established that trust! i made one remark in the past that i didnt have feelings for her at that time.  and we never had a talk where she was like “i trust you not to get feelings for me, if you do, our friendship is over” to which i probably would have said, “welp i will let you know if i ever do. whats a good code word i could use. how about i will text you CANT CLOSE THE WOES and then you will know hahahahaha.”

i was bad at initiating conversation about important topics like that…………..but she was also bad at responding to initiations to communication!!!!!!!!!!

so we were BOTH bad communicators, but i think in the end, she was EVEN WORSE. she couldnt even write A FOOKING TEXT.

http://greatergood.berkeley.edu/article/item/john_gottman_on_trust_and_betrayal

https://www.gottman.com/blog/calculating-your-trust-metric/

mah boy gottman has a BETRAYAL METRIC. love them metrics!!!!!

gottman is wearing a “yamaka” in some vidyas hahahahaha he WOULD

 

///////////////////////

/////////////////////////

/////////////

oh god check this out, this new text file i am writing. ideally you should print it out and have your gurlfran fill it out, like HOMEWORK:

QUESTIONNAIRE FOR A PROSPECTIVE WIFE

created Nov 24 2015

you can actually print this out as a worksheet and give it to them to fill out.

How many guys have you had sex with?

How many guys have you had “just oral sex” with?

What’s the shortest about of time you ever knew a guy before having sex?

What’s the longest amount of time?

How many sex partners would you consider “short term” or casual?

Have you ever had an open relationship?

have you ever really broken somebodys heart?

how many hearts have you broken?

Did you ever abandon somebody completely, without a word? throw them away like a piece of garbage?

do you have a good relationship with your father?

with your mother?

do you have a good family life?

have you ever cheated on a boifran? how many boifrans? have you ever cheated on one guy with SEVERAL other guys?

have you ever had interracial sex?

with what races, and how many guys of each given race? please also specify if it was a serious long term relationship or not.

what is your view on casual sex? is it more good or more bad?

what is your view on abortion? more good or bad?

have you ever had an abortion, and if so, how many?

were you ever raped?

were you ever molested?

were you raped or molested as a child or teen?

when were you first raped?

by whom?

how many people have you been raped or molested by?

have you ever been diagnosed with bipolar or borderline?

have people accused you of being bipolar, borderline, or sociopath?

what would you do if a male friend started to get feelings for you?

do you avoid communication about awkward but important things?

do you ignore problems and hope they just go away?

if your male friend gave you signals that he was starting to like you, would you ignore it, or try to talk about it? would you throw him away without a word because you considered this a betrayal?

have you ever done drugs other than alcohol or MJ? describe.

have you ever taken “sexy” photos? with how many guys? how graphic were they? try to describe as many photos as you can, and what guys they were for. if you took 20 photos during sex with one guy, no need to describe them all, just say 20 photos of this one sex session; 50 photos of another sex session, etc.

have you ever gotten drunk and had sex with a guy you just met at a bar or club or party? how many guys?

do you have any tattoos? describe the planning and decision process behind each tattoo.

whats the worst three things you’ve ever done to another person?

have you every betrayed someone? describe the worst three betrayals youve committed.

have you ever had group sex? how many times and with how many people?

do you have any sex toys? do you regularly use them?

would you describe yourself as low medium or high sex drive?

have you ever had a slut phase? how long did it last? from what ages? how many guys did you have sex with during that time?

have you ever relapsed into a second or third or fourth slut phase after a few months or years of not being a slut? basically, describe all the slut phases you’ve had.

how many serious relationships have you had?

how many unserious relationships have you had?

how many stalkers have you had? describe each briefly in one sentence.

have you ever stalked anyone. describe briefly.

have you ever had your heart broken? describe each instance.

whats your longest relationship?

whats your shortest relationship?

how many guys have you dumped without makign a serious effort to work on the realtionship, beause you just wanted it to be done now?

how many guys have you had Buttsex with? how many times? have you ever made photos or videos of it?

when did you lose your virginity?

make a timeline of all your sex partners, then write the month and year you first had sex with them.

how many times have sex partners “overlapped”?

whats the highest number of guys you had overlapping?

have you ever totally strung a guy along? how many guys? how long for each?

do you think men and women can be just friends when one person has unreturned feelings for the other?

do you have any children?

do you have any children who were adopted, or taken away by the court and put in foster care, or who live with and are supported by your relatives?

how easily can you tell if a male friend has feelings for you?

what do you do if you suspect he does?

do you keep him around in the “friendzone”?

do you talk about the issue?

how good are you at communicating?

have you ever taken the pill? how long?

how many guys have you had sex with where you didnt know them very well?

how many guys have you had sex with within 6 months of meeting them?

have you ever gotten pregnant from a man of a different race? what race? what happened to the Fetus? Abort it?

have you ever had a Inter Uterine Device contraceptive like “The Ring”? for how long?

have you ever had an Abusive Relationship? describe each instance of abuse.

Have you ever been the Abuser? describe each time.

how often to you go to The Club and Grind and Twerk with Random Strangers?

have you ever been absolutely obsessed over a guy? describe each occurrence.

what is the longest time it took you to get over someone?

have you ever dated someone while you were still getting over someone else? did that ruin the current relationship?

Have you ever gotten any kind of STD, from HPV to chlamydia?

did you Go Away To College? how many guys did you have sex with there?

do you consider yourself extraverted?

do you like to go out to parties with lots of people and drinking?

do you like to meet a lot of new people?

have you ever thought sex is no big deal, its “just sex?”

did you ever try to separate sex from emotion?

do you tend to get feelings for “bad boys”?

do you wear a lot of makeup?

do you wear makeup more days than not?

do you wear really tight clothes?

do you have any “sexy outfits” that you wear to “show off your assets?”

do you go to the gym?

what kind of clothes do you wear to the gym? do you wear extremely tight pants and then complain about creepy guys staring at you?

have you ever developed feelings for a male friend after a period of time? what happened?

has a male friend ever developed feelings for you after a period of time? what happened?

are you usually the dumper or the dumpee/dumped?

when theres problems in a relationship, do you usually dump them or do you try to work on the problems and communicate and compromise and try to fix things?

does it make sense that a guy might be awkward at sex the first time because he doesnt really know you and is not really comfortable yet? would you give him some time to see if the sex gets better?

do you understand the differences between men and women?

do you think men can get sex just as easily as women can?

is sex mainly for recreation, or for procreation?

do you take sex seriously?

have you given oral sex to a coworker in a parked car?

have you ever given oral sex to a man in a car ever?

are you kind of prudish at all?

does it take you time to get to know someone before you have sex with them?

what do you think about the “slut stud” double standard?

what do you think about the risks of sex for men vs women?

if you ever start to get feelings for me, please tell me right away. and i will do the same for you. we can even use a code word, like “CANT CLOSE THE WOES.”

do you think its offensive and a betrayal that one person in a male female friendship could one day get feelings for the other? does that make that person evil? can they control their feelings and just turn them on and off at will?

when you inevitably dump me (hahahaha), do you promise to do it in a nice way, where i get to write you several long emails, and you respond to them, and you dont throw me away like garbage, and you try to let me down gently, and affirm my humanity, and say we had a good run, and give me some cutoff sex (30 sessions), and to do something like a Dumping Fee, kind of like an Early Contract Release Fee?

(it would be funny if i used these on muh wife in muh wedding vows one day hahahaha, and it took longer than the entire ceremony just for me to interrogate her in front of the whole community hahahaha)

please give me your most checked email address. get in the habit of writing me a long email once every few months. because when we have problems and you dont want to talk about them, I will write you long emails. please respond to the serious questions raised therein.

when you have a problem in a relship, do you just ignore it and hope it goes away?

would you rather dump the guy than communicate about the problem?

do you avoid communicating about things that need to be communicated about, just because it would be awkward or uncomfortable or weird? and then just dump the guy?

did you ever continue to have sex with a guy after breaking up with him? how many guys?

how many guys have you had sex with without ever being In A Relationship with them?

were you ever the Other Woman with a guy who was cheating on his gurlfran with you? how did you rationalize it to yourself? that because you weren’t doing the cheating, it wasn’t that bad?

have you ever done something totally shitty to someone who didnt deserve it, and then blame THEM for it, saying they deserved it?

have you ever had an eating disorder? what was it, how long did it happen, how serious was it?

do you do things with long-term consequences with only short-term planning?

do you prefer to use signals or to just say things with words? signals can be fun, but i prefer to use words to clarify the signals so there is no ambiguity.

do you like when men get jealous over you?

have you ever gotten jealous? describe the top 3 or so situations.

have you ever been dumped and heartbroken? how did you react? how did you feel? did you have rebound sex with new men very quickly? did you stalk the man? did you go no contact with him, or were you always contacting the guy trying to get him to change his mind?

so now do you understand why men do the same thing when you dump them and break their hearts?

have you ever gotten “spit roasted”?

ever been with 2 or more guys at the same time?

do you have a tramp stamp?

wrist tattoos, neck tattoos, foot tattoos?

if a male friend started getting feelings for you, would you cut off all ties without even talking or emailing him? just ignore and avoid him, give him cold shoulder, or “ghosting?”

of all the people you have “ghosted”, what is the longest period of time you knew one of those people? 1 year? 2 year? 3 years? have you ever “ghosted” on a 3 year friendship while the person was begging you “please respond?”

what is your usual response to “please respond?”

do you dump a guy if everything isnt 100% perfect?

do you have a “one strike and youre out” policy?

Do you write “your” instead of “you’re”?

if a man you cared about told you to stop wearing so much makeup, stop going tanning, stop dying your hair, dont shave your pubic hair that much, would you indulge him? basically if he like a more “natural” woman, with natural hair color, natural skin tone, natural face, etc.

do you naturally tend towards this natural look without being pushed?

do you understand how it takes courage to tell someone you like them?

have you been with more than 10 guys?

have you been with more than 5 guys?

have you been with any women?

have you been with more than 3 guys?

describe the 3 most easiest cases (ie 3 different guys) where it took practically no time or effort to get sex from you. bonus points if you have never NOT made a guy wait a good long time, ie you have NEVER given it up easily.

do you shave your eyebrows into ridiculous little lines? even a unibrow would look better. just leave your eyebrows alone becase you will end up butchering them and making them look worse than a unibrow.

have you ever been paid $30000 by an arab oil sheik to go out to dubai and be made a human toilet for the sheik and 10 of his swarthy friends?

have you ever stripped? either for money, even if only for one day? or gone to Spring Break and did an Amateur Stripping thing for fun and attention?

have you ever Gone On Spring Break? (see Go Away To College)

Do you respect your fathers opinion and seek his guidance?

use your phone or something to make a recording of you answering all these questions verbally. this is easier than writing the answers out. just talk into the phone and give a complete answer, feel free to go into great detail, and do this in several sessions, because i do have a lot of imporatnt questions.

How would you rate your level of SELF CONTROL? low medium or high?

Talk about at least 3 times where you showed the least self control ever.

what is the trashiest thing you have ever done?

how many guys did you have sex with in high school?

how many guys did you have sex with in college?

how many guys did you have sex with in grad school?

when’s the latest age you would like to be married by?

whats the latest age you want to have a child by?

how many children do you want?

do you have a preference for men of your own race? or no real preference to speak of? (having a pro-white preference is what i am looking for hahaha)

are you ashamed of or disappointed in white people? why? describe what you dont like about whites.

how religious are you?

do you go to church regularly?

were you ever “saved” or “born again” after a prodigal past?

how do you feel about people who are “saving themselves for marriage?”

how do you feel about people who are “saving themselves for a monogamous, long term, serious relationship?”

how would you describe yourself politically? by that I mean conservative or liberal or moderate. try not to say moderate. do you tend more towars the liberal or conservative? feel free to go into great detail please. especially on “social issues” likke abortion, homosexual marriage, casual sex, transgender, open relationships, marriage and divorce.

when you get out of one relationship, do you take some time by yourself without dating, without sex, to reflect, grieve, learn, process, and move on, or are you dating/having sex with someone else right away (within 1 month)?

would you consider yourself “fairly experienced with men”? Not necessarily a LOT of guys, but “a decent number?”

How loyal of a person would you say you are? as always, feel free to go into detail and give examples or stories or anecdotes.

Is a friendship a relationship?

Do you think its possible and not unreasonable for someone to eventually get feelings in a once-platonic male-female friendship?

do you think white guys are more or less wimpy and boring and not sexy, while nonwhite guys are more exotic, interesting, fun, masculine, and Sexy?

are nonwhite guys in generally more sexy than white guys? please go into as much detail as you like.

have you ever dated or had sex with a black or arab or latino guy?

do you have any personal interest in Interracial dating?

do you think sex is a special, serious, maybe even sacred thing that needs to be treated with respect and maybe ever reverence?

or do you think i am always being too black and white, and the answer for everything is “IT DEPENDS!!!!! sometimes yes sometimes no! in different situations, or different phases of your life, you want different things!”

Is a persons past a good predictor of future behavior?

are you always telling people to forget about your past, and just focus on the present?

are you ashamed of your past? or do you have no regrets about being a huge skank?

what are your biggest regrets?

what would you do differently if you could Do It All Over Again? would have not had sex with so many guys? would you have gotten married younger or had children younger? maybe married that first serious boifrand rather than dumping him so you could get more experience, because it would be naive or immature to marry the first guy you dated, and then, 10 years later, you always wondered what if? what if you had just stayed with him because he was really a great guy?

5:44 PM Tuesday, December 01, 2015
5:44 PM 12/1/2015

textfx > insert > date time stamp

7:26 PM Tuesday, December 01, 2015

hahahaha

could you ever be with a demisexual?

could you ever just do cuddling and making out for 6+ months, and then only have sex only AFTER you have decided on a longterm mongamous rel with the man?

why do you need to have sex so soon?

why do you need to move through relationships so FAST?

why cant you take it SLOW?

how slow could you possibly take it?

how sexually innocent would you consider yourself? low, medium, high?

how many facebook freinds do you have? (1000 is horrible, 200-300 is good, less than 200 is ideal, avg will prob be 500-600)

how many facebook pictures do you have?

are you generally for or against casual sex? whats the first thing that comes to mind? what is your Gut Feeling to Casual Sex? especially for yourself.

Do you think sex is inherently, naturally something that SHOULD have an emotional element and SHOULD be shared only wiht someone you have an emotional connection and trust with?

do you think casual sex is degenerate?

what things do you consider degenerate? or do you find the word itself too “judgmental” or hateful or intolerant?

have you ever used okcupid? tinder? how many sex partners have you added as a result of dating websites or apps?

what do you think of the “slut stud double standard?”

do you think its unfair that when a man has sex with a lot of women, he’s considered a stud, but when a woman has sex with a lot of men, she’s considered a slut? what do you think about that?

do you think its easier for men to get sex than women?

do you think women have different consequences for sex than men?

does this help shed some light on things?

do you think women should be able to have lots of sex like men?

do you really understand how women can get pregnant and men cant? does this help explain to you how sex has different consequences for men and women, and why its frowned upon for women to be sluts?

do you have sex with people without having a mature conversation about what each person wants from the relationship?

do you often have sex with people without yourself having any interest in a relationship?

how do you feel about sex outside of a relationship?

how many guys had you had sex with by age 17? 22? 25?

do you think its okay for women to go to dubai and party with oil sheikhs for 30 grand? her body her choice? dont you view this as prostitution?

would you be okay with your daughter appearing in porno or being a stripper or prostitute?

have you ever been the subject of a sex scandal?

do you understand why women should take sex more seriously than men?

have you “dated” ie had sex with a lot of “douchebags” or “dickheads” and “assholes?” why didn’t you just wait to have sex with them?

have you ever dumped a guy because he didnt read your mind, and you didnt want to talk about it, so you just dumped him because he didnt figure shit out? how many guys?

are you willing to read long emails from me? how about write long emails back? could also do voice recordings if youre too lazy to write.

when someone writes you a long email do you just think creep/weirdo/needy and not read the whole thing seriously, because he’s just needy creepy psycho and doesnt deserve to be taken seriously, and its weird to write long emails?

have you ever been given The Silent Treatment? or Ghosted? or Ignored and Avoided? tell the full story of the 3 worst times. how did it make you feel?

did you then use the silent treatment on people after you experienced how painful it was?

tell the stories of your 3 worst heartbreaks. did it ever leave you completely devastated? how long did it take you get over usually? then why do you complain if it takes a guy 6 months to get over a woman?

do you think the differences between men and women are nature or nuture? biological vs socially constructed? explain your opinions in detail. specifically, do you see any problems with women being “sexually adventurous” like men?

are you friends with any of your ex-boifrans? how many? how often do you talk to him? are you over him? really? how often do you see them? how can you get over someone if you see and talk to them regularly? have you ever gone back and had sex with them when you were in another relationship? how about VERY soon after another relationship ended?

whats the longest period of time you have been completely celibate?

why do you need someone to fook when you end a relationship? cant you be alone for just a little while to process and get over things? dont you realize it takes a long time to become emotionally available again after your heart is broken? and during that time its best not to date or fook ANYBODY? why didnt you do that?

when you love somebody 100%, do you want anybody else? is your ideal of true love a monogamous thing with ONE man?

if you’re emotionally unavailable and still trying to get over one guy, why not just take a long break from dating (or fooking) guys altogether?

what do you think about pornography? is it degenerate? what about super hardcore stuff? would you ever or have you ever had sex on camera? dont you think that sort of disrespects the reverence of sex?

how often do you drink? do you like going out to bars and clubs and having guys buy you drinks? or would you rather have a quiet night in with family?

how “TRADITIONAL” would you say you are?

what do you think about women Staying Home and Homeschooling children?

do you agree that almost 100% of the costs in reproduction are borne by women, and therefore, women have to be EXTRA CAREFUL? and this is exactly WHY women cannot fook like men?

do you read any newspapers or blogs or have any interest in the world, news, politics, or current events?

do you read stuff like jezebel, gawker, buzzfeed?

talk about right vs left, in your perspective. where do you fit on that spectrum?

lets hang out and look at okcupid together and take their stupid personality tests. some of them can actually be quite informative and lead to good discussions.

have you ever been a great love of some guys life? what happened there?

have you ever had some great loves of your life? what happened there?

do you give it up easily?

have you ever had more than 1 dick inside you at the same time? more than 2?

do you find the idea of having children old fashioned and oppressive and “ew” or “ugh”?

do you use words like “ew” and “ugh” to avoid articulating and examining your feelings?

do you know how to dump a guy gently? do you usually do that when you dump a guy?

do you do a lot of dumping?

have you ever been dumped?

how much meaningless sex have you had? a little, a moderate amount, a lot, or very very little? none?

how do you feel about pure romance parties where women look at dildos and talk about self pleasuring? is this fun, or gross?

do you do “CASUAL DATING”? ie nonmonogamous sex with no commitment?

do you accept that it will take me 2 or 3 times before i am fully comforable having secs with you?

could you come up with a moral justification for bestiality? pedophilia?

if you ever think i am being manipulative or abusive, you have to tell me immediately.

what is the primary function of sex? procreation or pleasure?

did you ever dump a guy because the first and last, the one and only time you had sex with him, it was kind of awkward, so you figured that was his fault?

promise me that when you dump me you will do it NICELY. ask your father the nicest way to dump a guy.

promise me that if we ever have a problem, we will talk about it, commuicate about it, rather than avoid talking about the elephant in the room. talking might be awkward, but not talking is even more awkward. promise me you’ll say “WE NEED TO TALK.” rather than walk away and ignore me forever when i beg you to please respond. At least write me an email. and try to dump me nicely. see above.

have you ever felt “regret raped” where in the following days, you said, “ew, i cant believe i had sex with THAT GUY, what was i thinking?! Hmm I must have been raped! i was drunk after all! I had impaired judgment!” just to alleviate yourself of the embarrassment and personal responsibility?

you know that treating sex with great care is not something thats strictly religious right? that it makes sense even from a stupidass atheist utilitarian perspective? that the societal costs outweigh the individual selfish benefits?

promise me that when we are done you will communicate with me and dump me nicely, rather than throw me away without a word liek a piece of garbage. see “ghosting” or just vanishing/disappearing and not responding to pleas for communication.

have you ever desperately begged someone to talk or listen or communicate with you, becuase you so desperately wanted to save the relationship, and they didnt?

i did ask about abortion right? have you ever had an abortion? more than one? tell the stories of all abortions.

if a male friend eventually came to develop feelings for you, would you consider that a BETRAYAL of TRUST, and come to hate and distrust him?

are you bisexual?

have you ever had sechs with anther woman? how many? how about a full blown relationship? was it an open relationship? have you even cheated on a guy with a woman?

how do men and womens reproductive roles differ? who has the harder job? provide evidence for your answer.

have you ever had “truffle butter” from having a guy do you in ass and then immediately put it in the V? dont you know that not only being extremely degen, this is very unhygienic and literally dirty? how many guys have you done this with?

how many guys have you done buttsecs with?

whats the shortest amount of time you knew a guy before you had buttsecs with him?

have you ever had a “wild oats” period? tell me all about that.

have you ever had a period of your life where you were just hooking up with guys from bars/clubs? how many guys?

have you ever abused an animal? killed an animal?

tell me all about your opinions on feminism and feminists.

what is the sluttiest outfit you have ever worn? what is the sluttiest outfit you currently own?

do you wear high heels regularly?

do you take a long time to “get ready” when you “go out?”

do you “go out” a lot?

whats worse, a pathetic wimpy guy acting like an omega, or a girl being a slut?

can you promise me that when you reject me, you will do it NICELY? write me a long but nice email if you can too.

when YOU really liked someone, how did YOU act? smooth as hell? not needy at all?

so you made ME wait a little while for sex. but im still not convinced youre a decent woman. give me a list of all the guys youve been with and how long you made THEM wait for sex. if you had a period of like 5 guys in your 20s where they all got to hit it after 1 date….then youre just being disingenous with me and trying to fool me into thinking youre Not One Of Those Gurls when in fact you are.

What is sex? how would you define sex? what does it MEAN to you? (trying to get at procreation first, pleasure distant second, and not some weak “IT DEPENDS, you go through phases” relativist answer. good answer: sex is something serious and sacred that creates life and should not be taken lightly, even if it can be pleasureable. that pleasure comes with a very high responsibility. etc etc)

what do you think of psychiatric drugs? do you take any? have you been in a rel with anyone who took them?

i am very happy to answer all these questions myself.

ever fooked someone famous or nearly famous? who was it? any others?

have you ever stayed with someone who abused you? why? for how long? how many guys?

have you ever blown out your colon havin rough buttsecs with a guy?

do you think its weird to not have secs within 30 days of dating?

how many dates on avg before you have secs?

how ridiculous is the idea of you meeting their family BEFORE you first have secs with them?

“SEXUAL MORALITY.” what does this phrase mean to you?

how traditional are you?

how many years did you slut it up? how many cox were on your cox carousel?

How much AGENCY do you have?

I do not like a communication style like a brick wall. we have to talk to each other when there are problems. we have to be comfortable talking about our feelings towards each other.

Do you communicate and resolve problems like a mature adult, with direct confrontation? that is the best way.

Promise that if you ever need to tell me something difficult that may hurt me, just TELL me rather than trying to get me to forget it. I need to actually have the difficult talk, rather than reading signals, and trying to read your mind. Nobody can read minds well. If there’s something on your mind about me or our rel, TELL ME. TELL ME. Talk to me or write me an email.

If you decide to end this rel, promise me you’ll do it in a kind, gentle, nice way, rather than angrily push me away or throw me away.

Have you ever had that done to you? it is tremendous pain. you never want to do that to anyone unless they abuse you.

promise me that if you ever START to even MAYBE get feelings for me, you will TELL ME right away, and also I will do the same regarding you. in fact we should should just talk about this every 1 or 2 months as a rule. to check in. in male female friendships its not weird if one person eventually develops feelings, even after a while.

promise me that if i get too clingy you will TELL me.

promise me that if you dump me you will TELL me.

promise me that you will be open to COMMUNICATING about problems in our rel.

please think seriously about writing an email or doing a voice recording.

please understand that if a man gets feelings for his female friend, this si not a BETRAYAL or a DUAL INTENT. sometimes it just happens, even after a long time (2,3,4 YEARS.)

I am very happy to LEAD you like a Strong Man, but I need some SUPPORT on my not so good days.

if you want to dump me, please write me a long email as part of that, trying to let me down gently and to facilitate good closure. I do not like when dumpers put no effort into making a good karma dump. please do not just throw me away like a piece of garbage.

if you cant bring yourself to talk to me, write a message trying to let me down nicely, and then have someone ELSE send it. friend or family. i need you to attempt to do the right thing regarding closure. just be nice but firm, think about how YOU would want to be dumped by someone you loved, if you could never be with them, because they didnt feel that way about you. how would you want THEM to reject you? knowing that THEY wanted to end the relationship, but you did NOT.

you slept with a lot of assholes?

you slept with a lot of guys period?

how do you feel about SLUTS? do you like slut shaming? do you believe its shameful to be a slut?

come up with an argument why being a slut is bad that doesnt rely on anything religious. not that religious is wrong tho. but there are plenty of nonreligious reasons to not be a slut.

if you ever feel like i have BETRAYED you, PLEASE TALK to me about it. it could just be a horrible MISUNDERSTANDING. like, for example, thinking i had Dual Intent All Along when I didnt. OR thinking that developing feelings is a BETRAYAL of the whole friendship. No. its a complicated issue that needs to be discussed. But a real betrayal is more like CHEATING or lying.

What’s ideal amoutn of time or dates before you would ideally have secs with a guy? whats it more like in reality? do you give it up too quickly? is your ideal even too quick?

have you ever had secs with more than one guy in the same day? the same week? what was the max number of guys you ever had secs with in one day? one week? one month?

I want you to PROMISE me that if you ever have a problem with me, you TELL me somehow. soon. rather than letting it boil over into a train wreck and exploding on me one day. TELL ME.

if you are thinking of dumping me TALK TO ME and give me an ACTUAL ULTIMATUM. if you are thinking of doing something ultimatum-wrorthy. please actually TELL ME the ultimatum and dont go ahead and do the nuclear option without talking to me and giving me the ultimatum first. PLEASE.

if you want to dump me, promise me you will dump me NICELY, RESPECTFULLY.

promise me you will put an honest effort into this rel, and to try to think like a mature adult on how i might feel about things. dont hate me for the wrong reasons. put yourself in my shoes. seek the advice of trusted friends and family.

make an effort to not throw me away like a piece of garbage.

RELATIONSHIP BILL OF RIGHTS AND RESPONSIBILITIES

I have the right to be not thrown away like a piece of garbage when you decide to get out of this rel.
You have the responsibility to not throw me like a piece of garbage when you decide to get out of this rel.

can we make and agree on and sign a relationship bill of rights and responsibilities?

ever made a secs tape? how many tapes? how many guys? can i see it, ya dirty whore?

have you ever avoided someone to the point where you just cut them out of your life entirely and essentially deleted them, threw them away? threw them away like a piece of garbage? what did they do to deserve this? do you think they really deserved it? how do you think they felt? do you feel good about what you did?

whats the highest number of men you were having secs with at around the same time? in the sense of a “Stable” or “harem” of men where you were having casual, no strings attached with one guy one week, a second guy another week, and so on?

whats the highest number of guys you’ve had secs with in the space of one month? 2 months? 3 months?

have you EVER had multiple “fook buddies” or “friends with benefits” at the same time? what was the highest number? 2? 3? 4? 5?

have you ever accused someone of lying and you were totally wrong?

did you ever think someone had betrayed you when they really hadnt?

be honest. how many hearts have you completely broken?

write me a 5,000 word essay on why “Casual sex” is impossible, and why sex is inherently intimate, and shouldnt be given away quickly to guys you meet on tinder.

promise when it comes time to dump me, you will do so with common courtesy and do it as gently as possibly, while still being definite and not giving false hope. but do NOT throw me away like a piece of garbage.

tell me about your slut phase.

ever been nonmonogamous with a man? describe.

Is sex a big deal?

What are the consequences of sex for women? for men?

Do you take birth control pills? some sort of ring or implant?

how insistent are you that new sex partners wear Condoms?

do you get drunk and “hook up” with guys?

do you swear a lot and have a mouth like a sailor?

How important is communication in a relship to you?

has any man ever K’d himself after you dumped him?

What’s the worst reaction a man has ever had after you dumped him?

are you a mature adult capable of having difficult talks and making big decisions, or are you more like a hormonal, emotional teenager?

do you understand why Interracial Dating is not great?

do you think “LOVE IS LOVE.” ?

What do you think about gays? transsexuals?

what does “sexual morality” mean to you? do you consider yourself sexually moral? what about your friends?

what are your closest friends like? decent people or degenerate scumbags?

how do you feel about babies and children?

did you ever have an “experimental phase?” tell me about that.

do you respect your father’s judgment on the guys you “date”?

does “date” really mean “fooking” to you?

Do you try to spare a man’s feelings when you dump him? let him down as easily and gently as possible?

how many friends with benefits or fook buddies have you had?

how many one night stands have you had?

have you ever done a sexual act in public? describe the top 10 times.

Has it ever taken over a year of NO CONTACT for you to get over someone? Then maybe you could understand the deep love and heartbreak I have felt. It’s a red flag when you continue to talk to, see, be friends with, and possibly fook the person. Bad.

Do you jump right from one relationship to another? How can you do that? doesn’t it take time to get over the previous person? Why would you continue in that rel with one foot out the door like that? It seems like just a small step up from cheating. It mean you got interested in the new person while you were still with the previous person.

how honest are you? do you LIE a lot? what kinds of lies? big ones, small ones?

Would you trade racists for rapists? (rapeugees)

How do you feel about Your Ingroup? What does Ingroup mean to you? Are you attracted to The Exotic? Is the more exotic more sexy to you?

How much did you like 50 shades of gray?

whats the most number of guys you dated at the same time? were you fooking them all? how many were you fooking? whats the highest number of guys you were fooking in at the same time period?

how many guys you fooked where you dated them less than 3 months? fooked a guy but never really dated him; and he wanted a rel, but you didnt, and just fooked him a little and was DONE with him within 3 months? his TURN was over.

Why don’t you have any respect for human life or the process that creates it?

How long does it usually take for you to fook a guy after meeting him? Less than two months?

Let’s talk about ABORTION. Ever gotten one? more than one? what’s your opinion about abortion? is it horrible? do you think life starts at conception?

what do you think about plan B abortifacients? do you just casually get some plan B from planned parenthood to flush out any fetus you might have gotten after a night of drunk, unprotected fun?

Seeing as you can get pregnant, have you thought deeply about the issue of abortion and when human life begins, or is that a scary slippery slope you’d rather not go down until you actually get pregnant?

how many homosexual friends do you have? do have any qualms about their degenerate, promiscuous lifestyles? do you approve of your gay friends having promiscuous sex with 9000000000 people and going to fisting parties? what ELSE are you ok with?

do you say, as long as its between two (or more!) consenting adults, I dont have a problem with it?

do you have a moral compass?

but you judge people who do shady, gross, weird, or creepy things though, dont you? and fisting parties arent weird and gross?

what do you think about people who have been with 10 or more people? normal, fine, or kinda gross and you would never do that? have you already done that?

How often do you wear high heels?

How many pairs of shoes do you have? (less than 10 hahaha)

have you ever pseudo-dated somebody in a sexual relationship for “a minute?” eg “Oh yeah we dated for a minute.” meaning you fooked him several times at least.

Do you treat people like human beings?

when you have an omega orbiter, do you tell him Im Not Interested, Sorry, or do you continue to lead him on by allowing him to hang out with you?

you ever give a guy a BLUMPKIN, ya dirty white trash whore?

have you ever been desperate? did you just fook guys indiscriminately then? what do you think about desperate and lonely guys? can you sympathize with them?

has any of the guys you ever dumped ever killed themself? do you know that for a fact? how long after you dumped them did they kill themself?

Ever been involved in a gangbang or a “train?” how many times? how many guys? tell me all about each time.

what’s the longest period of time you’ve gone without touching dick? (1 year or longer is ideal)
have you ever fooked a guy in a parking lot? some other public place? in a car? outside up against a car in a parking lot, between cars?

/////////////////

/////////////////

yeah you can take that to the spank bank hahahahahaha

if you can get a woman to answer all those, you will be WELL ON YOUR WAY to making an informed decision. KNOWLEDGE IS POWER. THE MORE YOU KNOW (about That Woman you think you know hahahaha)

literally ask the woman to fill that out completely, or maybe let her do a talking file if you are feeling kind hahaha.

http://www.buzzfeed.com/hunterschwarz/old-economy-steve-is-a-new-meme-that-will-enrage-all-millenn#.suVRdlZEZ

i dont like being a VICTIM and BLAMING other people, except when it comes to blaming the woman for the failure of the relship, and for blaming Baby Boomers for the economic failures of the Millennials hahahahahahaha.

well im am honestly sorry i never told you earlier, but i was trying to send you signals, and you never ever ever ever wanted to hang out with me ever. that hurt me alot and if we did hang out i would have had a good talk with you.

or would i have? there is a large chance i would have been chickenshit and said “welllllll…….maybe NEXT time we hang out, we’ll have that big talk.”

but thats irrelevant, because it never happened!

maybe i would have talked about it!

mayeb if i pussied out about talking about it, i would have decided to just write an email much earlier!