mon dec 25

may 14

MERRY CHRISTMAS hehehehe

not confident this will be actually pub on dec 25, but will prob be close hahaha.

whats worse, that your gf has been with 20+ guys including nonwhites, OR that you’re getting feelings for this slut youve been banging whose been with 20+ guys, including nonwhites, and she doesnt even want to be your gf and dumps you and doesnt let you bang her or even hang out with her anymore? youre not exciting or interesting or man enough to be with a real catch like me! thats why so many guys are interested in me! and theyre more interesting than you! you had your chance! guess you just weren’t good enough! your fault!

hehehehe.

i almost wish I HAD done something bad and horrible rather than Just Not Being Good Enough. That is almost harder to get over!

you WANT to COME BACK when you ARE good enough! and see if they’re accept you THEN!

http://ageofshitlords.com/laci-greens-transformation-shitlord-causing-lot-butthurt#

so because annoying feminist slut laci green expressed interest in “debating” an antifeminist, the sjws have turned on her as being white gurl feminist who cant into intersectionality, throwing women of color under the bus to talk to hate spewers.

laci green! shitty feminist slut! is now a fake feminist because she doesnt want all antifeminists banned frm youtube!

at times she has identified iranian and joo in her ancestry. in other words, shes a mulatto hahaha. and her face and huge mouth are very very annoying. i cant blame a man for wanting to bang her fat tits though.

these college sjw snowflakes are like what can possibly be LEARNED from ann coulter speaking on campus. all these people do is SPEW HATE. you cant LEARN from somebody where all they do is SPEW HATE.

this is these jooish liars excuse every time. just claim its not speech, its SPEWING HATE.

you could say THEY are just spewing hate too!

i might think people are Free to Spew Hate. spewing hate is not the same thing as inciting violence!

also i dont think that hate is such a BAD thing that needs to be STOPPED.

why shouldnt you hate your enemies?

i also dont like the “I AM DISABLED”  thoughts. like, uh oh, here comes another “i am disabled” thought, one of those thoughts that say i will never be a normie, never be able to work that hard and withstand that much, and because i cant be a normie adult, i am pretty much disabled.

basically, dress code should be:

DRESS LIKE A MAN YOU WOULDNT MIND YOUR DAUGHTER MARRYING. LOOK LIKE THAT MAN. and thats how you should present yourself when going out in public. for political events or just normie socializing. if some skank thinks you look too preppy, you dont want skanks anyway. you want nice gurls, that is the kind of gurl you woudl try to raise as a daughter with your nice wife. and do you want your daughter socializing with a dirty anarchist, or with a handsome, well-dressed richard spencer looking goy?

basically wearing khaki (tan) pants is a pretty white thing to do. well, i guess i could see asians and indians also doing this.

may 15

i dont have to listen to you, youre jsut spewing hate. tell that to your gf next time shes nagging you. oh man. best shit test tactic ever hahaha.

NOT LISTENING BABY. STOP SPEWING HATE. I DONT LISTEN TO HATE. DONT HATE.

and then she just leaves you. sorry not sorry, not good enough, next.

i fairly regularly dream that i have a tattoo. its usually a stupid tattoo, which i blame on being drunk, and at least i can cover it up.

then when i wake up i feel thankful and grateful and blessed that it was all just a dream and i dont actually have a tattoo.

ok i’ve almost got to the point where I udnerstand and dont hate women for being Race Traitors. you cant be a traitor if you never had any loyalty to begin with. all they care about is strength. race does not matter. only brute strength is real.

ok. fine. i accept that. argument accepted. is an argument.

but what i NEVER want to understand is how women – the MOTHERS of LIFE – can justify them MURDERING their own BABIES with ABORTION.

that makes negro fooking look downright SENSIBLE.

i cant think of any stupid rationalization that can make sense of murdering your own baby.

other than perhaps “MUH BODY, MUH CHOICE.”

or how about, well i couldnt give this child a good life anyway, it would be better for this child to never be born.

that makes almost as much sense as banging a criminal negro thug because he seems STRONG, right?

so yeah i guess im saying that abortion is probably morally worse than race mixing hahahaha.

more specifically, a hwyte gurl killing her baby is morally worse than her fooking a black guy.

sooo……why the hell was austria hungary not a technical part of germany?

because even germany didnt exist yet. it was the “holy roman empire” until…….1850? 1898?

QUOTE

arious Germanic tribes have inhabited the northern parts of modern Germany since classical antiquity. A region named Germania was documented before 100 AD. During the Migration Period the Germanic tribes expanded southward. Beginning in the 10th century, German territories formed a central part of the Holy Roman Empire.[11] During the 16th century, northern German regions became the centre of the Protestant Reformation. The remains of the Holy Roman Empire formed the German Confederation in 1815, while the German revolutions of 1848–49 established major democratic rights first.

In 1871, Germany became a nation state when most of the German states were unified into the Prussian-dominated German Empire. After World War I and the German Revolution of 1918–1919, the Empire was replaced by the parliamentary Weimar Republic. In 1933 the Nazi seizure of power quickly led to the establishment of Nazi Germany which was built upon a dictatorship and consequently led to World War II and one of the biggest genocides in history, the so-called “Holocaust” [citation needed HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA]. By 1945 Germany and most of Europe were left in destruction and ruins. After the end of World War II in Europe and a period of Allied occupation, two German states were founded: the democratic Federal Republic of Germany (commonly known as West Germany) and the socialist German Democratic Republic (commonly known as East Germany). On 3 October 1990, the country was reunified.[12]

END QUOTE  (from https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Germany )

there you have it. proof. concrete evidence of what and when germany was.

so what the hell was AUSTRIA then. no not the place where where bruce and mick drink veebs and eat vegemite next to the coolibah tree while the band played waltzing matilda and they shitpost all night long while the seppos sleep hahahahahaha.

apparently austrians ARE an ethic group. a subgroup of germans though. so why didnt they join with germany or the HRE. why arent they joined with germany NOW.

QUOTE The origins of modern-day Austria date back to the time of the Habsburg dynasty, when the vast majority of the country was a part of the Holy Roman Empire. ENDQ

ok got it thats all i need to know hahahahaha.

in 10th grade i took an exhaustive, super detailed AP European  History class. it was a difficult class and the amount of detail and time covered was RIDICULOUS. on one hand i did appreciate it, on the other hand, it was overwhelming and burnout. it was hard taking those ap classes for an entire 9 months of school year.

we covered a lot of this stuff. popes, HRE, germany, ww1, ww2, hister, hahaha. but by the time it got to THAT stuff we were REALLY cramming it in and couldnt POSSIBLY appreciate the 20th century stuff.

i wish i had just taken basic bitch regular history, and then just studied euro history in my own time, at my own pace.

i guess lviv ukraine was the main city of galicia

LEMBERG = LVIV

LAIBACH = LJUBLJANA

there is a part in MK Ch 3 where AH refers to lemberg and laibach which i figured were kinda “nationalistic” big cities within the austrio hungarian empire, which were standing up to the influence of vienna, etc.

i guess was semi productive at the job today, which is good, all i can ask for. to FEEL PRODUCTIVE hahahaha. even though I wasnt really productive. well i was a LITTLE bit. made some progress in doing a video. have been trying to learn a video production program and making some videos to teach people how to do shit. i think videos are super useful, hwyte, and not jooish. just straight up great ways to teach people how to do shit. i wish we used them at my old job to teach us how to do the crazy shit, rather than have people K themselves trying to figure out how to reinvent the wheel 6000000000 times a day.

just have a higher up person in the know make 1 video demonstrating each issue or fact or skill or whatever, then we watch the videos, learn what to do. very efficient use of resources. ie people and time and shekels.

adolf shekelgrabber was his real surname hahahahaha.

qt young gurl lives in neighborhood with her youngish husband and i cant tell if they are hwyte or turkish. when you get a lot of balkan people. plenty of serbs. nothing wrong with serbs. tons wrong with albanians. oh god. they have this dog they cant control. the young gf/wife with nice long hair walks the dog who looks like he is gonna drag the little gurl with him. dog wants to run up to every person in a 50 foot radius. if it was a negro dog like a pit bull, that would be a huge problem. there are news reports EVERY DAY of dog bites. most of them trash pit bulls. ban the breed. terrible.

the dog came running up to me yesterday and jumped up on me. the gurl apologized to me. i saw the dog running up to some other people walking today. the husband apologized. i was just like, put a leash on your damn dog. control your damn dog. tame your damn dog so it doesnt go chasing after everyone. you guys look kinda balkan. so are you serbian or albanian? are you white or a damn turk? i would still bang your young wife though.

i mean they could be macedonian.

dont think theres a ton of croats around here tho. prob a few.

had a dream last night where very briefly a qt young gurl was showing interest in me, appeared to be open to cuddling with me, was standing real close to me. i think it was this loudmouth gurl from my old job. that woman hated this woman but i thought she was qt. but obnoxious. i didnt luv her personality so much. but i dont think she was a huge slut either. so, i had not ruled her out hahaha. she was qt and not super girly and possibly low number, so that was all good. no known dealbreakers yet.

how much money can i lose at poker table today. how fast can i lose my entire bankroll again. i mean its “only” a 10 dollar bankroll but still. its the damn principle of the matter.

although technically my bankroll SHOULD be at least 20$.  my bankroll im playing with is too damn low to play this table.

is there a version of the handmaids tale that wasnt written by a damn man hating feminist? how about by a smart man who realizes how patriarchy and brood mares will indeed make the world a better place?

not even brood mares. just damn no voting for women, and no voting for men under 30.  and pref the men should not be mgtow childless losers.

you gotta Risk Half Your Shit in order to Leave A Legacy. only you can decide if that is worth it. and I think men who decide that it is not worth it are pathetic and wrong.

you Manage The Risk with the Insurance of picking as virtuous of a woman as you can find, namely a low number young woman with truly traditional morals and a good father, and then you maintain a strong hand throughout the rel so she doesnt betray you and take half your shit.

until we can make the artificial wombs to help us leave our legacy hahaha. but arguably women do play an important role not just birthing the children, but raising them as well.

some real white knight shit here!

insightful data. data insights. scale. business intelligence. insights. get the fook out of here. this is the bullshit you “learn” for a 50k dollar MBA. insights. suck muh insightful dick bitches.

heh. why didnt i start reading MK when i was 16 years old. WELL, i wouldnt have understood it. in a way i am reading it at exactly the right time. i might have needed a lifetime to Prepare myself for it. to get ready for it.  you just cant read it before youre 30. but boy i wish every hwyte man could read it at age 13 and even 30% understand it.

it is certainly not lessening my appreciation of the man. more and more i enjoy the idea of being able to meet him and talk to him. the most misunderstood and mischaracterized man who ever lived.

i wish he were around right now to comment on what is happening now and to give us his wisdom. his INSIGHT hahahaha. cuz basically its the same shit he describes, its just worse.

well, i guess in some ways weimar germany was worse. like more economically desperate. maybe. but in terms of j degen, its much worse now. holy shit. if he saw what they were up to now, he would gladly authorize throwing 6 million into ovens and publish that executive order far and wide.

but i would just like to hear what he had to say. or even if he had just lived for 10 years after the war and just wrote another book or something. or i wish he made some tapes. it is kinda weird that he never made any audio tapes of him just talking, dictating, recording semi private thoughts, esp near the end of his life. maybe he did and they were destroyed? what a tragedy that would be!

i imagine some people would want to meet him just to Ask The Madman Why He Hated The Jooz So Much To Genocide Them. I would want to meet him just to enjoy a damn conversation with him and learn from the greatest man since jesus christ hahahaha.

tfw you are well on your way to becming a full blown hister LOVER hahahaha.

and what would he say now, and who’s REALLY the closest to him since? maybe rockwell. big maybe. certainly nobody’s been that actually successful. but yeah rockwell, pierce. how would AH get along with them? would there be bitchy infighting the way there has always been with VVN’s? you’d think AH could stop all that hahaha. but VVNs are YUGE infighters that maybe even AH couldn’t stop it hehehehe. someone would call him a joo enabler or a purity spiraler hahahaha.

 

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WORSE THAN BEING ABORTED: STILL ALIVE TO SUFFER

july 7

had interview today, 5 people grilling me, 1 hour and 20 minute interview, 40k job tho damn.

then went on linked in and switched my settings to anonymous mode so i could look at people from my old job. started feeling bad. like damn they can handle taking confusing angry phone calls all day, how come i cant? they found new jobs, the are able to think fast and act quick. oh 3 people from my company went over to this other company. I WONDER if thats where SHE went too. oh i wonder if shes fooking one of those guys then. or maybe she already fooked him and now they hate each other but still work together.

how come just the thought of answering those calls and dealing with those weird problems strikes fear into my heart? i wish i could be AS GOOD as her in the stupid competition of life. compete with her on HER terms and PROVE that I am at LEAST as good as her, can do the same kind of ridiculous work, make the same decent money.

and now she goes on and makes new friends and knows the people we worked with, longer than I knew her….which was a pretty long time. and I am stuck in the past. and she has moved past me, and I am just a faded memory in her past, that she has mostly forgotten.

next on the listening:

diocletian: gesundrian

proclamation: nether tombs of abbadon (terrible reviews, as their well of ideas has run dry and they are just going thru the blasphemous motions. but I sorta think the production sounds best on this one. and I figure each album will sound exactly the same, so production is VERY important here.)

i should be talking about this interview hehehe.

i figure, they interview 5 people, that means you START OFF at a 20% chance of getting the job. then depending on how you do, you go up or down. probably not more than 10% either way.

anyway it was me, and 5 managers, in a room for 1 hour and 20 minutes. 5 people making 25 bucks an hour to spend 90 minutes of Paid Time with ME hahahahaha.

ok did 5 mile walk, listened to those things. i just dont have great headphones. i have 10 dollar headphones when i should invest in some good 50 dollar headphones, but i just cant right now till i establish an income stream other than 2 dollars a week on mturk hahaha. i could only stand about 10 to 14 minutes of the proclamation. but its nice to come back to that noise for 14 minutes a day or so.

the diocletian sounded sorta like angel corpse but with some slow parts. great sound, again hurt by my headphones. great drum and guitar sound, great fast blasts, no triggers like some f4ggy death metal band hahaha.

i just hate sounding incompetent with a caller who wants me to fix a problem, because I AM incompetent, and i DONT know what I’m doing. and i hate that SHE was better at that in the long run than me.

and if you can stay good at that in the long run, you can actually advance in the stupid tech support field. become a tier 2, then a tier 3, then a manager, get jobs at increasingly better companies. you just gotta tough it out. and I couldn’t do it, and she COULD. AND she doesn’t CARE about ME, when I KNOW she once did. she was tough enough to do the job, and to KEEP doing the job a year later, but she wasnt courageous enough to SHOW CARE about ME. fooooooook.

i mean other women have been tougher and more competent than me. better at their jobs. doing tough jobs. cool under pressure. going gets tough, tough get going. other women have Bested me at that competition, but I didn’t care nearly AS much because they showed a lot more courtesy to me when they dumped me. they said sorry that I have to do this. and then went on to become hugely successful in their careers. just like THAT PERSON is going to be. I came CLOSE to looking her up on linkedin today. I thought she might work at this company several people from our company went to.

theres a difference between “taking the black pill” ie looking a unpleasant things, because you might learn a valuable lesson…….vs TORTURING yourself by COMPARING yourself to others unfavorably on linkedin. looking at all those fookin WINNERS on linkedin. or f4gbook or that matter. oh im so successful at muh career. i am not on the verge of a nervous breakdown and im getting MARRIED to a person I LUV and want to make babies with. we just had a baby. were having our second baby. chad just got promoted to Team Lead this year, which meant more money for our growing family. Stacy finished her masters degree in Talent Acquisition which resulted in a big pay raise for her too.

that fooking bullshit successful middle class normie STRIVERS talk about in their christmas card letters!!!!

so yeah. SOME blackpilling is ok, but I don’t think this comparing yourself is really helpful, nor is it legit blackpilling. its more digging yourself into a rut and putting yourself into a bad mood. better to just STOP, and just apply for another job, or go for a 5 mile walk and listen to EVIL raw black metal like blasphemy or proclamation hahahaha.

black lives matter hehehe how about MY life matters. I wanted MY life to matter to HER. not even in a tradwife luv sort of way, but just in GENERAL.  even before i fell in luv her life matter to me, and my life mattered to her. i just wished my life could have mattered to her at the END. rather than being murdered like an aborted child hahahaha.

now i know what that aborted child feels like with the silent scream, as it screams pleeeease mommy dont murder me, and then they get murdered anyway. and then you get to stay alive enough to be able to see that, and think about it for years hahahaha. and you wonder how could your own mother murder you hehehe.

so in a while its WORSE than being aborted! because you are still ALIVE TO SUFFER!!

at least the aborted baby has the privilege of not being able to suffer any more. they are put out of their misery!

july 8

foreveralone feels, an actual 30 year old wizard virgin with a youtube channel whoooooaaaaa

i mean he LOOKS like one! but he also doesnt look TOO bad, or irredemable. its sad.

instantly subscribed.

The “why are women fooked” question is actually really easy: because they don’t have to be good to pass on their genes. They just have to take a dick and keep the baby alive. The men have to slave, fight and die over who gets to keep them.

great quote from great trs thread on how bad women are hahaha

but yeah i might as well be a 30 year old virgin. i had secs 2 times with a gurl when i was 21………AND THEN NEVER EVER AGAIN hahahaha and now I am 30+.

its a really unique situation. there’s no manual for this. the wizards dont understand, the normie chads sure dont understand. i guess people can still advise you: be a stronger, better, man with purpose. then you can keep a woman from dumping you. easier said than done tho hahaha.

huge anti police shooting in dallas, its HAPPENING, 4-5 officers dead, wow, i mean i can honestly say stuff was NOT liek this when I was young. shit is objectively getting BAD.

i meditated on my desire to bang gurls up the ass and I figured it had to do with a desire to PUNISH them and cause them some pain. for not wanting anything to do with me, and also for Playing Around with the LIfe Creation Process so casually.

I was always kinda afraid of the Vag and Secs because I always understood THATS HOW BABIES ARE MADE. this is NOT a casual, fun process. if you want to have PURELY recreational secs, then do it up the ass like mexican sluts or f4gs. that’s the fookhole for people who REALLY dont want to have babies. and i dont want to have babies. babies are a BIG DEAL and Im not ready for that. so i dont want to treat the pvssy like some kind of casual funland.

and women are stupid and inferior for treating their OWN pvssies like that. theyre the ones who GET pregnant!!!! how can they NOT know this and need a man to mansplain it to them? because thats how women ARE. and I was like holy shit that sucks SO MUCH. How can I POSSIBLY respect or even LIKE women. they are DISGUSTING.

so hence the desire to bang them in the ass. to somewhat punish them, and also to show that I wanted to remove ALL chance of conception. well why not just use birth control.

because i’ve ALWAYS believe that BC is flawed. that its putting up an unnatural roadblock to something natural. and you just dont need to do that with the ass. because the ass is not MADE FOR REPRODUCTION. its made for expelling shit.

so yeah still its degenerate to want to put muh dick in an EXIT hole! I fully own and admit that. own muh degeneracy.

well its not like Im going out banging sluts in the ass, or watching porno of it! although I used to. but i havent looked at porno in….242 days.

the shit with the woman WENT DOWN 360 days ago. almost a year.

sent her the last email 326 days ago.

last got a haircut 101 days ago. and I am fully planning on getting a nice very short haircut TODAY.

later. got nice short level 1 haircut! very nice. do this more like every 2 months, not every 3 months. it was looking bad on the sides, like an unemployable loser neet wizard virgin. dont do this. i am scottish with spending money, but in this case, its WORTH THE MONEY. just spend the money and get a haircut every 2 months. they barber didnt even ask about muh JOB hahaha.

also now i look more masculine, like a real ross bay powerlifting black metal skinhead. i would also add 1433 to that, althought the ross bay cult is NOT associated with 1433. but they should really consider it! although the black guy in the band blasphemy hahahaha well i will give him a pass.

BUT really raw drunken satanic black metal is degenerate anyway, and degeneracy and 1433 is like OIL AND WATER.

so, switch all that drunken satan imagery with like Nationalistic War imagery. you can still have those kewl black and white drawings! just instead of goatz and sp00py skellys with goathorns, you can have like soldiers and fuhrers and gunz and tradfams and such.

being CONFUSED SUCKS. it kills your confidence and can lead to Chronic Stress.

also you feel like you are getting early onset dementia or alzheimers at age 35. WTF. that is very frustrating.

or was it just because you smoked too much MJ and drank too much alcohol before age 25? because ya sure did. sure screwed the pooch on that one. dicked the dog. fooked fido.

like worshiping satan and evil is stupid, immature, degenerate, and really doesnt make sense. being a 1433 whyte warrior makes TOTAL sense. 14 words make TOTAL sense. so express THAT in your music.

had stupid dream last night where I dreamed I was looking at pictures of HER, on facebook or instagram or whatever. i saw a photo of her from new years eve where she was kissing a black guy. i reacted with disgust and horror and anger, much like you would expect me to hahahaha. i make no apologies for not liking mudsharking, and I am ESPECIALLY offended when the woman I luv would rather fook and kiss blacks than have anything to do with ME. it really stings the pride knowing a black guy is better at getting the woman of your dreams than you are. and that the woman of your dreams would rather be with a black guy than you, ya racially-aware whyte man.

also IRL she did go out with a black guy but I never saw secsy pictures of that thank god. but the fact is, they were making out and FOOKING. she she suck his dick? most certainly. Did he blast jizz on her pretty face? maybe. did he fook her up the ass? maybe. did he fook her doggystyle and blast on her nice white ass? certainly. did he pound that pvssy with her fine white body pressed up against him while they made out and she sighed in Ecstasy? 100000% yes definitely. things I will never experience with her hehehehe.

And I have always like kissing and making out MORE than secs. it seems so pure and fun and innocent and safe and good. and secs seems so dirty and bad and pornographic and dangerous and bad. not because it is, but because the way the women treat it like its NOTHING. treat it with more reverence.

so I always LIKED making out and kissing more. it means a lot to me. I would have had a LOT of fun making out with her. I had a LOT of fun just making out with gurls. then they would get bored, want secs, and dump me when they correctly ascertained that I wanted a real rel.

i get dumped because i always want a RELATIONSHIP with women hahahaha what a MONSTER I am.

clingy and needy, always wanted a Relationship.

oh well there’s serious rels and then theres casual rels. why do I always want a serious rel?

because I am an OLD SCHOOL WHITE MAN, and I KNOW that sex cannot be treated CASUALLY!

so yeah not only do i think secs is intmate, i think KISSING is kinda intimate too! and i feel a lot more positively towards it than secs, ie its something i can actually enjoy, possibly because it doesnt make babies but still allows you to show affection for your bitch, like cuddling. and its much SAFER and lower RISK, and I think its super FUN and stress free, and I RESENT women for not liking it so much, or thinking its BORING.

if you think somethings boring, YOUR BORING hahahahahahaha.

if you’re BORED, YOURE BORING.

uncle bern might have clued me into that saying.

oh lord their are LATVIANS speaking LATVIAN in the poker room hahahaha.

this is really interesting. yes i luv latvians, they are white as hell. or are they finngolian hahaha. latvians are classic joohaters and ovened 6 gorillion joos in riga in 1943.

 

 

ASKING FOR HELP AT WORK / NORMIES GONNA HATE THE DESPERATE

apr 25

uh it takes at least 250 days of not seeing and not talking to the person to even get over the hump. to start feeling cautiously optimistic that you can get over them one day. 8.4 months. hahahaha. so, not a full year…..but not half a year either!!!!! close to 9 months. the amount of time it takes for a baby to be Grown. think of it as Your New Life being Grown. but it takes time to develop before its ready to be born.

i am certainly not over it, but I might be 51% over it and am closer to Acceptance than ever before. I mean I have pretty much accepted it. I still want to be with her, but I know it will never happen. I still want her to contact me but I know she wont. I occasionally want to have casual secs with some cute waitress or woman I see at the fatclub but I certainly dont want to Date anyone, and I am totally Emotionally Unavailable hahahaha.

according to the fatherland podcast, tattoo “artists” used to have a code of ethics where they wouldn’t do a tattoo on your face, or neck, or hands, or just really weird and extreme places. they’d say we dont want your money trash, go to a ni993r place in the GHETTO for that n1993r bullshit. but now everyone has damn neck tattoos and sometimes even face tattoos and white tattoo artists outside of the black ghetto are more than happy to do them.

neck tattoo is prob the most prevalent, like bullshit on the side of ones neck. i guess getting shit on the front of your neck is still considered truly extreme.

i mean I think all tattoos look like shit, its not a proper white thing to do, its for prisoners, gang members, bikers, and polynesians. I will maybe make an exception for military, and in appropriate place no less. the most appropriate place being your upper arm. anything easily covered by a t-shirt. no neck, no leg, no face, even “sleeves” are a bridge too far.

IN GENERAL, tattoos are degenerate and I will prob never get one. Although I briefly thought of getting a white race related tattoo on muh arm hahahaha. like a big fookin swastika, see this, it means NOT WELCOME hahahahaha. your kind is not welcome here.

no i mean maybe a kolovrat to emphasize muh slavic luv…….but really? do I really want to put a kolovrat on muh body for the rest of my life? (its like an 8 sided swastikaish thing hahahah that i think also represents the Sun)

Really the best thing for me would be the 14 words because I believe in the 14 words wholeheartedly and hope I never stop!!!!! but I dont want to get a phrase of words tattooed. maybe just the number 14 but even that seems a little gay. not worth defiling your body.

so yeah when ever i see a white person with tattoos, i judge them and am disappointed. And I used to / still do enjoy a lot of degenerate music where the white metal musicians have lots of tats.

but some metal people have no tats. i like them better hahahaha. they are more my style. like varg vikernes never got tats, because he knows the deal. tats are degenerate and not what decent white people do.

but plenty of decent white people DO have them because its FASHIONABLE now. and of course plenty of trashy white people too.

i mean i have friends with tats and I dont really care. I just secretly wish they didnt have the tats hahahaha.

and of course tats on a woman is a huge disappointment. i liked that That Woman didnt have any tats because from her Tough Background, she is exactly the type of white person to get tats. but she chose not to. kinda like she had all the risk factors to become a slut. but she chose not to. I figured this signalled moral strength and courage and good judgment. which it did. she just really screwed up with me hahahaha. doesnt mean she’s not otherwise a wonderful, beautiful, very marriageable person wawawawawwawawawawawaaaaaaa

but yeah I dont need a tattoo to tell people I’m a White Supremacist hahahahaha. my words and actions should hopefully prove that. no that doesnt mean I commit or condone “hate” crimes or violence. It means I shame race mixers and that I will never race mix, thats all. And I will make it clear to the women I Casually Sex up that I disapprove of race mixing and if they are open to it, I will disapprove of THEM. because I don’t want white women having nonwhite babies. PERIOD. FULL STOP. no further explanation needed.

I DONT WANT WHITE WOMEN HAVING NONWHITE BABIES.

white men for that matter too. like these weak cowardly cucky beta leftist men who get with ASIAN women. come on bro. not cool. have a little SELF RESPECT. dont you think you can do BETTER than that? asians? really?

i would maybe bang the cutest asian just for novelty, but I would never date or have children with. besides theres not a lot of cute asians. I just dont fooking GET it.

i dont want white women having nonwhite babies, and if that makes white women hate me, so be it. there are SOME white women who share my values on race mixing is bad.

well ok what if blacks mix with mexicans.

i dont really CARE, but its probably not good for them either, and if hordes of black mexican mixes begin living in proximity of unmixed whites, then i DO care.

I am a White Racist, White Supremacist, White Nationalist. DEAL WITH IT.  (sunglasses meme hahahaha)

so now I have sampled all 3 deafheaven albums (but not the demo) and I might like sunbather LEAST. new bermuda sounds very promising. the drums sound better than on sunbather, so you can really tell that the drummer is very good, which is important for someone that plays so many blast beats.  Really blast beats are a get out of jail free card for me. you can be as faggy and hipster and marxist as you want, but as long as you arent scawed of scawy bwast beats, I’ll allow all fagginess. and they are definitely not scared of blast beats, using them generally MORE than I ever expected from such a hipster group. or a 10 minute song where the first 4 minutes are basically all blast beats. come on. that is hard to criticize, unless it is just straight up boring, but its not. they might know how to write a song rather than just pasting riffs together. if anything the riffs arent quite CATCHY enough for me.

some haters find them formulaic and boring. maybe they are formulaic but at their best I dont find them that boring.

but I sympathize with the haters, and I dont doubt the raging deafheaven FANS are a horrible cancer.

but yeah basically they have enough blast beats, and a good drummer, and good songwriting, for them to get away with some fagginess IMHO. probably including them looking like beta leftist hipsters.

its definitely a young mans thing. I mean everyone in the band is younger than me, probably in some cases significantly so. and really no need to have a nonwhite guy in the band now. but i am sure they are antiracists hahahaha. even though the singer arguably dresses somewhat like a fascist hahaha but he would deny that and say fascism is horrible and racist.

heh. now I am kinda wishing I had gone to see them when they played a headlining show near my town in a decent club. i bet there would be some good white hipster metal sluts there for pump and dump hahahaha. who are willing to give short unmasculine guys a turn on the ride.

my ideal woman does not listen to metal or to hipster indie stuff. basically something nonweird. That Woman had pretty good taste in music IMHO which was part of why we connected so well. no I wont out her any more by describing the taste in music. but no extreme metal, no hipster indie garbage, nothing too weird. but a woman who appreciates 90s rock and 70s rock, well I can very much appreciate that.

I used to think the ideal woman would be a big tom waits fan. Because tom waits is undeniably awesome. but now I wonder if tom waits is just too WEIRD for a normal noncrazy woman to be interested in. I also fell in luv with one gurl who loved tom waits, and while she was not a slut thank god, she also had no interest in me and was weird and there was a lot of disappointment and shame there for me.

however its good if i introduce a woman to tom waits and she likes his less weird songs.

country music is ok, even modern crap like….brad paisley, i dont know. shitty n1993r degenerate dance shit like drake or whatever, not cool. even nickelback would be better.

really basically i’m looking for a woman that likes nonweird, normie stuff that isnt blatantly shitty. fookin black metal, tom waits, or hipster indie bands would be considered too WEIRD.

I learned at some point that Bisexual Girls are BAD NEWS. Sure as a young man you think its HOT, cuz you are addicted to “LESBIAN” porno degen, and even I cant deny the attraction of having a Three Way with 2 cute gurls. I always wanted to do that at least once in muh life, but it’s not looking probable unless I hire two hookers, or charm some REALLY slutty crazy sluts at a bar or club.

I learned that this is something only CRAZY gurls do. NOT the type of gurls you want to marry, date, or have children with. its just a sign of BATSHIT CRAZY. which is ALWAYS BAD. STAY AWAY for the long term. i guess pump and dump in the short term.

but yeah. dont feel happy when the gurl you are fooking is bi. if anything, you should be looking for a gurl who is somewhat DISGUSTED by any Homosinuality. but good luck with that, all women are all about the gays. women love gay men but watch how they feel about LESBIANS. if they are like i just dont GET lesbians, that’s a good sign.

women will always love gay men. deal with it. just like they will never come out and say they dont like race mixing. just look for a woman with good actions and good character, meaning, she doesn’t PERSONALLY engage in lesbianism or race mixing. its too much to ask them to understand WHY its degenerate and wrong. women cant into sexual morality hahahahaha. but SOMETIMES they still live a sexually moral life, even if they will never understand it. if you can find that, wife the girl up.

and i found that kind of woman and she rejected me brutally wawawawawawawawawaw

i’ll admit it. i did too much degenerate shit in my youth. more than normies, more than more successful, well adjusted people. I looked at too much porn, took too much MJ, drank too much, had a very very bad nihilistic degenerate attitude, and all this, for too long, twisted me into the pathetic lonely loser omega male I am today hahaha.

but I thought it was COOL to REBEL by MJ and drinking. NOPE. WRONG. IT WASNT.

have one resume thats as long as possible. have that be your main most important resume that gets trickled down to everything else.

then when you have an actual interview and have to bring in a resume, bring in and send them a One Page resume, a condensement of your 3 page resume hahaha.

this will prove to your gods that you are the ideal candidate for a 15 dah job all those fast food fight for 15 people wish they could be valuable and smart and good enough to get, but they never will be. go to college losers hahahahahaha.

i mean go back to college and get a stem degree hahaha.

never cuddle with a woman in 10 years, from age 22 to 32 hahahaha.  we are not talking about age 70 to 80 hahaha.

asking for help is FROWNED UPON in the real working world. you get labeled as the Weak, Layoffable, Unlikable, Stupid Loser Deadbeat if you ask for help. this is why people dont want to ask for help. because asking for help is BAD. undesirable. figure shit out on your OWN. WITHOUT help. asshole. weakling. virgin. weirdo. failure. hahahaha.

the best way to do this is bullshit like you know what you’re doing, then if you get called out for doing it wrong, apologize profusely and say you thought you have figured it out correctly. apologize some more and make a big show about how you were wrong and how you are writing down the right way now.  IM WRITING THAT DOWN RIGHT NOW SIR!!!! WONT EVER HAPPEN AGAIN!!!!!

Or if you absolutely HAVE to ask for help, tell them youve been trying to figure it out for 10,20,30 minutes, whatever seems prudent, and you tried this this and this (3 things) and you think that the unknown unknown MIGHT have to do with this topic but you just dont have enough information to make a decision, and would greatly appreciate any advice from someone smarter and more experienced, I think the answer is in this direction, but I have no way of proving it or knowing that and I’ve already wasted 30 minutes of the clients time, can you help me help the client and value their time and our company time better?

THATS how you ask for HELP. make it about the MONEY, and give at least three pieces of evidence on how you are not stupid and how you have initiative. but all the initiative in the world can’t will unknown unknown information into existence.

Or just be a woman under 30 and people will bend over backwards to help you even if you are stupid as shit and have no initiative.

linkedin. i cant believe i spent so much time on it without puking in disgust at those phaggot phonies. dicksuckers.

i have been a lot more profane and vulgar lately, its a way of blowing off steam and anger about that woman, jobs, job search, failure, everything. i still think being profane is for trashy and subhumans, but I get a pass because its better than me doing stupid things out of anger. so i call everyone phaggot joo n1993r k1ke commie joo fooks all day. i cant see the person clearly without my glasses but i can see they have dark hair and are acting really obnoxious and annoying, so they’ve GOT to be an albanian or an arab. fook them. fook off back to albania or iraq or syria or arabia. YOUR KIND IS NOT WELCOME HERE.

I was thinking white sluts could be used as brood mares for white neet men who cant pull a decent white woman for marriage. that way we could create more white children. but they would HAVE to be adopted by decent white people to be raised up good.

turn the white trash mudshark sluts into a whore caste, so neets could get sex and become more confident and virile and better able to pull a decent white woman.

but married men should not be using the whores.

and maybe the whores could be brood mares, but they should NEVER be raising the children themselves.

lots of complications there as you see.

like how do you keep the married men away from the whores? do you identify yourself to the state as married or a neet?

in an all white country, the government would be more trustworthy, but the people would be more trustworthy too, and wouldnt need a powerful, large, authoritarian government!!!!!!

and really social shame would enforce shit like this, so married men wouldnt WANT to go to whores, and whores wouldnt WANT to raise children.

in my whitopia I would not frown on asking for help at work. I’d say good job my lad, i’m glad you’re asking on how to do quality work for our white company, because we take pride in our work and emphasis quality over speed. we know having a well-trained workforce is a win win for the workers, and for the company. so im glad you asked instead of figuring it out wrong. here’s the right way to quality check the production server. that’s the heart of business operations so we dont want any mistakes, so I ‘m glad you asked. we need 100%, and 90% is really as bad as 0% in this case.  I also just recorded a video of me helping you and will put the video on the intranet for everyone else to watch and learn.

i went to one boy scouts meeting when I was young and for some reason decided not to get involved. i dont know why the hell not. I think I was too young to have gotten into any of the degenerate shit I soon got into, which would make me call the boy scouts gay and faggy and lame and weak and stupid. but maybe I just thought everything was STUPID anyway. or maybe I got socially anxious around the other boys because they were bigger and older and tougher and i was scared they would bully me! i just dont know, i cant remember.

what Im saying is that if I became an EAGLE SCOUT I would have turned out a lot better hahahaha. Eagle Scouts make great white men 99.9% of the time.

also, doing ROTC during college would have been a great idea.

and doing a stem degree hahaha.

and never smoking MJ or drinking.

and maybe just going to prom with some ugly bitch hahaha.

EARLY INTERVENTION is the key to solving ones problems hahaha.

I started taking some paxil at age 20 or so, that was a step………..

but I soon STOPPED that and continued drinking and MJ. bad move!

Then I started taking paxil again around age 25 or 24 and haven’t really stopped. but at first I was DRINKING like a fish, I mean the paxil made me able to drink more and more and more without getting sick. and I thought it was supposed to DECREASE your alcohol tolerance. for me, it INCREASED it.  BAAAADDDDD move.

http://www.forbes.com/sites/dailymuse/2014/02/14/how-to-train-people-to-ask-you-fewer-questions-and-figure-things-out-on-their-own/#264b1837de63

I know i linked this at some point

https://www.themuse.com/advice/5-strategies-that-will-turn-your-employees-into-leaders

hehehe its funny how i read the muse, a site designed for WOMEN trying to be TUFF in their CAREERS.

great. i am taking CAREER ADVICE from a 20 YEAR OLD GURL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! who has a better resume and a better job and makes more money than me, as an undergrad at harvard.  oh sorry….creative writing major at colgate univeristy ?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?! are you KIDDING me?!?!?!?!?!?!?! she should be working at MCDONALDS!!!!!!!

also yeah its ok to struggle a LITTLE bit and try to figure stuff out on your own……..

but what about when that is your whole day, all the time!

and, more importantly, time is VERY much of the essence, because you have someone on hold who wants this fixed NOW and doesnt want to wait 20 extra minutes while you teach it to yourself?

and also your quality people will come bitching to you if you are taking too much time?

I don’t have the TIME to struggle and figure it out!!! I need the answer NOW!!!!!

So I learned just to give AN answer FAST, even if it was bullshit. so I could buy myself more time.  and have more bullshit to say when I DID ask for help and try to get the shit escalated.

https://www.themuse.com/advice/3-times-you-actually-should-quit-the-job-search-and-take-a-breather?ref=recommended

thanks sara mccord ya fookin hr recruiting skank penisbreath whore. whoops that could be considered slander. take a break from the job search because you are angry as fook and calling everybody n199er fooking whores and phaggots. hey i am desperate as fook and these jizz guzzlers are giving me a job on a silver platter with no interview. maybe that means its the shittiest job ever and they want to inflate their numbers and commissions. they dont care that the job SUCKS for ME.

http://archive.is/MbhdT

actually i think the muse has a very insidious bad attitude and you should not read it. basically will make you feel hopeless because you will never be good enough to get a 15 DAH job. but you know that shitloads of people at your old job making 17 DAH couldnt live up to these bullshit standards written by 21 year old gurls with Human Resource Majors.  horry SHEET. FOOK THEM.

basically they expect you to know or figure out unknown unknowns and say this is what i need to know, when you dont know what it is you need to know!!!!!

i figure shit out with google. but googling how to figure things out does not lead to one SINGLE good article. I have written better shit on the topic on this very fookin blog!!!!!!!! and I dont know shit about shit!!!! Im just BULLSHITTING!!!!!!! but bullshitting is a useful skill too. and if i am a better bullshitter than I think I am…..that’s good. I will thank GOD for that BLESSING.

HAVE MORE CONFIDENCE IN YOUR BULLSHIT hahahahaha.

thats what I say in interviews. my main weakness is that I was worried my bullshit wasnt good enough. But I am actually a pretty good bullshitter and can get people to believe my bullshit! including fookin sellout phaggots like you!!!! ya fookin normie cowards!!! I bet you are a terrible wife and mother, because you believe the bullshit on themuse.com!!!!!! go cheat on your husband with sexy black idris elba, ya fookin b1993r fooking whore! I dont care about your bullshit masters degree!!!!!!! your an idiot! Im way smarter than you, with my 101 IQ!!!!

hehehehe theres that anger again.

also its not enough to figure stuff out on your own.

you need to figure it out RIGHT, and FAST. and on your own, hahaha.

that is some stressful shit to deal with 50 hours a week!

its like taking a test where you have to get 100% and you get  berated for every question you get wrong, even if you get 90%, and you have nothing to study, and the worlds shittiest instructor, and every day is nothing but a test, there is no instruction or homework to train you, you just take tests the whole time and are expected to get 100% and then you try to teach yourself the things you THINK you need when you are at home.

why arent there any books or articles on the fookin internet that deal with this reality of the Working World that ALL successful adults have to deal with? why is it such a big fooking SECRET?????? why wont anyone tell me? why wouldnt SHE tell me her secret to doing the job??!?!?!?!??!

fooking n1993r fooking whores.

http://www.math.utah.edu/online/1010/figure/

ok heres a pretty good one:

https://www.scotthyoung.com/blog/2015/11/23/figuring-things-out/

schools are terrible at teaching you how to figure things out. but this is one of THE most valuable skills you can have in the workplace. i thought schools were supposed to prepare you to be a good productive worker.

http://jamesclear.com/getting-simple

some shit i put in my interview file, where some of it is copied from the above article:

//////

I AM GOOD AT FIGURING THINGS OUT ON MY OWN. I DONT NEED MY HAND HELD OR GET STUCK WHEN THERE ISNT A LIST OF CLEAR, DETAILED INSTRUCTIONS. I AM GOOD AT FIGURING IT OUT ON MY OWN AND TAKING OWNERSHIP OF THE TASK. (i wrote this one hahaha)

//////

Welcome to the grind. It’s time to put in a volume of work. Not just once or twice. Not just when it’s easy. But a consistent, repeated volume of work.

In the words of Ira Glass, “your taste is good enough that you can tell that what you’re making is kind of a disappointment to you.” You’ll bridge that gap between what you know is good and what you can produce yourself by putting in the reps.

This applies to so many areas of life. (from the james clear article)

I PUT IN THE REPS. (paraphrasing lesson in my own words.)

end paste

PUT IN THE REPS SON.

or just say that you do even though you dont, and make those k1kes believe your bullshit.

homeschool your children so they develop actual, legit intellectual curiosity, ie, the drive and initiative to figure things out on their own. this is one of the top 3 or top 2 Work Skills. the other is communication. the other is Customer Service and People Skills.  all technical skills are a distant second. or fourth hahahaha.

but yeah its hard to figure things out right the first time, fast, and right. and to bullshit like you know what youre doing. you think SHE was an expert bullshitter?

you didnt even really need to be a bullshitter. like my male friend. he had no problem saying when he didnt know something and made no effort to ever bullshit. because constantly bullshitting is, for me, EXHAUSTING. its ALMOST lesss exhausting to just research shit at home so I can figure out a nonbullshit answer…..if that is even possible.

anyway I would recommend not reading the muse.

well you have to develop your sense of bullshit though. and that site is FULLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL of the bullshittiest bullshit you will ever see. so maybe it is good.

it WILL make you want to go on a punching people in the face spree though.

how come normies arent angry and anxious all the time from their 50 hours a week at WORK? how come NORMIES arent run ragged trying to figure weird shit out all the time? how do NORMIES have time for their families and their hobbies and their children and their bitches? how come NORMIES arent always on the edge of a breakdown?  why wouldnt the people who knew shit share their phaggy secret with the people who were desperate to know? because desperation is weak and everybody hates it.

yea well i have great sympathy for the desperate. I am desperate. it SUCKS to be desperate but IT HAPPENS and I appreciate that. everybody hates the desperate but I dont. I luv them.

all these fookin normies hate the desperate. normies and winners and nonvirgins and women and managers and everybody. NORMIES GONNA HATE.

well GOD FORBID THEY ever get desperate one day. Jeez i thought everyone has felt desperate once in a while. yeah well they sure dont act like it. nobody loves you when youre down and out. laugh and the world laughs with you, cry and you cry alone hahahaha. no one is gonna help you. figure it out yourself hahaha.

fact is, she probably didnt have any big secret she was willfully hiding from me on how to keep your cool on the job. there was no big secret, and i was just paranoid. she was naturally a chiller person and didnt care as much about doing a good job. she jsut said whatever cant help you and listened to her music. and people would be WILLING to help her because she was a pretty gurl.

fooking n1993r fooking whore hahahaha. i have 3 times the college credits she does hahaha. i have better people skills and problem solving skills than her. i can communicate better. i can bullshit better. i am smarter. i am better in every way hahahahaha.

and now i have to PROVE it by staying at this job for 1 year hahahah. god damn. these god damn punishments and penances and repentances I have to constantly do. am i not done paying the piper yet?

had dream last night where something like the legions of satan were conquering the earth and killing all life in hellish ways hahaha.

well there was another maybe separate dream where I was cuddling with Crazy N199er Fooker Mud Shark Crazy Bitch Former Woman6 who I cant remember what her name is now. Woman2008 or something? i had a dream about her not too long ago.

she was trash but if she had just behaved like a nice gurl, should would have been totally dateable, and it would have been fun to cuddle with her and wife her up if she were a totally different person. namely, not a dirty crazy mudshark with a bitchy, annoying personality. if she were nice, not a mudshark, not crazy, not a bitch, and not a high number slut, and was more willing to give me a chance, rather than just show interest in me for a brief time and then get bored of me, looking for more exciting guys for the c0ck carousel.

she was cute, too bad her personality and morals sucked and made her a garbage person.

well thats not fair, she’s not THAT bad. if she came to me now all old and even more used up, i would gladly bang her. regardless of how many n1993rs shes fooked.

i mean she is prob still good looking, and i certainly imagine her ass is at least. great ass on that butt slut. im sure she likes it getting sodomized by n1993rs and sleazebags she just met, getting hepatitis and syphilis and grids, fookin dirty whore. use a god damn rubber, you disease dumpster hahahaha.

I use this ugly language to channel my anger and disappointment and frustration hahahaha and butthurt. its worse to bottle that shit up!!!!

i was sort of friends with her, but I knew she was bad news, yet i still wanted to bang her, but she was always busy and never wanted to hang out with me. i was never a priority for her. she was interested in me for about a week and was less bitchy with me, but still. never wanted to hang out, never wanted to make plans. her stupid excuse was that plans were not spontaneous enough. cuz she might want to go out to some party or club that night. or she might not be in the mood. yeah well how about you get in the mood for me, bitch hahahaha. when women are into you, they’ll make plans if you want to make plans. also i thought because she had fooked 100 guys by age 21, that maybe I might have a chance too. Nope. she only let masculine tough guys fook her fat ass.

anyway point is, i didnt like her prsonality that much, and I was much much much much closer and better and longer friends with woman2015 than I was with woman2008, who was very very very insignificant in comparison.

i would have given her the chance to become more than insignificant though. she wasn’t willing to do the same for me though. hahahahaha. fookin n1993r fookin bitches. absolutely disgusting degenerates.

hey I only dislike women if there’s a valid reason. likewise, I only LIKE them if there’s a good reason.

most women I am neutral towards, or not very optimistic. sure i have high standards but most women fall far far far short of even reasonable standards. they HAVE to be able to do better than that. Even if I had low standards, they dont ever reach those.

cant they just be moderately disappointing instead of RIDICULOUSLY disappointing?

do they have to be so EXTREME in their disgustingness, degeneracy, immorality, disappointingness?

can’t they be just a LITTLE bit shitty and not a HUGELY RAGINGLY SHITTY??? in other words hahaha.

well woman2015 is not hugely shitty, she is a good person who just did one thing that was very hurtful to ME alone, and part of that was I just cared too much.

but yeah that other woman was much more ridiculous, far far less decent. she could have been decent if she tried even a little bit. but it was just one bad decision and disappointment and sin after another with that whore. she was actually kind of smart too. i dont put a lot of weight on women being smart. id much rather they be not as smart, and a decent person —- like woman2015, than smarter and a total crazy degenerate, like woman2008.

but yeah woman2008 was really cute, would have liked a decent woman in that cute body. just wasnt meant to be though.

i wonder how many abortions SHE got hahahaha.

i dont know whats worse. A woman who will have babies with blacks…..or a woman who aborts them.

i think its too much to assume she wouldnt abort a fully white baby. i think its barbaric for a woman to murder their own child regardless of the racial mix of the child. the child never asked for any of this.

how about, have the brown baby, give it up for adoption, and then never have another mixed baby again.

and I still wouldnt want to marry her!

WOMEN, KEEP IT IN YOUR PANTS!!!!!! hahahahaha

CLOSE YOUR LEGS!!!! stop fooking so many guys!!! you are the creators of human life much moreso than men! have some SELF RESPECT!!!!!

but respect is not really very important or relevant to women. things like respect, honor, ethics, morality, tradition, racial hygiene, sin, shame, guilt, these are all very MASCULINE things. women could care less.

so do we need to enslave women, like the mudslimes?

no I refuse to treat women as BARBARICALLY as they do. we can do better than that.

women are bad, but they arent AS bad as the mudslims think.

a strong father and a strong husband and 3 kids by age 24 will be more than enough to keep women from getting out of hand. and also take away their vote. say you are combining it with their husbands vote.

in fact I would be very ok with restricting MENS votes too, to married men with children. See i got some skin in the game too. take MY vote away, I dont care. I would GLADLY give up my vote to take away the vote for women. that would be a GREAT deal.

cuz they will vote for taxpayer funded baby murder and no fault divorce and moar money for single mothers to have more bastard babies with black deadbeats!!!!!

 

RELATIONSHIP BILL OF RIGHTS AND RESPONSIBILTIES

feb 1

wow. i really gotta get out this rut. this is no way to live. this is not healthy! i would not recommend this. time to get a new shitty job, go crazy, and quit in a Huff, mving myself even further down the career ladder. i dont move up the ladder with time, i move down it hahahaha.

i grew up having a very negative opinion of women. in short, they were mostly bitchy, dumb, slutty, disgusting, stupid, mean, obnoxious, annoying, awful, scheming, hypocritical, immoral, sneaky, lying, cheating, evil. you couldnt possibly like or respect these pigs. they literally had no redeeming qualities except for the secs they sluttily gave away to every man except YOU hahaha.

probably because most of my friends had bad experiences with women and werent big fans of them either! and that rubbed off on me.

also women seemed intimidating because i didnt know how to talk to them, how to deal with them, and i didnt like how they all had secs with guys so QUICKLY. that seemed like a big deal to me, and i thought shit if youre the one who can get pregnant here, you prob wouldnt have a problem with waiting amirite?

i had muh first crush on a girl in 7th and 8th grade when i was 13/14. that was a bad choice because she was a mudshark slut. yes you could be a mudshark slut at age 14. how disgraceful! but she was a Bad Gurl who liked very Bad Bois. the badder the better. i have no idea why i liked her. prob because she was real purty. i felt that it was disappointing that she was such a bad gurl. i kinda wanted to save her and turn her into a nice gurl hahaha.

then i went into my women hating phase until like age 20/21, when is the second time i develop actual feelings for a woman. and they were very very very strong, and disrupted muh whole life. i didnt know how to deal with them!

in the interim i made out with 1 gurl when i was about 15 and i had VERY mixed feelings about it. i kinda felt pressured into it, that she wanted to do it more than i did, but i just went along to Gain The Experience, but i wasnt particularly HAPPY about it. i was kinda ANGRY about it for a couple years! also she lived like 50 miles away. maybe if she lived nearby i could get to know her as a person.

by age 20/21 i was completely off the track and should have took a hiatus from college at age 20, started intensive shit with a shrink and meds, gone teetotal from alcohol and MJ, stayed at home, got a shitty job, and finished up college at close to home U, pref in STEM hahahahahaha.  but nooooooooooooo i soldiered thru my useless degree and continued all my bad horrible habits.

i became sort of friendly with some women at age 20, but it was not until age 21 that i made my first decent actual official female friend. that was a positive move. also at that age i first pseudodated a gurl. and we rushed through all the beginning stages of a “rel” in a very short time, leaving me confused and sad and angry and disappointed and crazy hahahaha.

i made some more female friends at age 22.

anyway not sure what my point was. probably that its pointless and a bad idea to hate women unless you actually have some female friends.

even as women were dumping me and disappointing me and i should have really Hated All Women, i didnt really, having female friends was really useful in keeping me from hating all women.

you see, i didnt really LIKE hating all women! i didnt WANT to hate all women! it was GOOD for me to have female friends.

now, there was a little bit of drama…..but that was because i had fallen in LUV with a friend of my female friend. so i completely lost muh mind. the regular DRINKING did not help at this point. i should have just stopped drinking and been like ayyyyy baby wan sum hang out lmao and gotten rejected that way, instead of drunkenly pining for her.

MY POINT is, its not fun or good or healthy to Hate Women, and its a lot easier to not hate women when you actually have some Woman Friends. in fact, this will go farther in curing your womanhate, than actually dating or getting feelings for a gurl . cuz that shit always ends badly. with my female friends, well the ones i didnt fall in luv with, it never ended BADLY. we just drifted away as friends often do. but no hard feelings.

and it sucks to think of somebody you were in luv with, you wanted to be with forever, now they are giving dat secs up really easily and quickly to other guys, and that makes you sad, angry, and disgusted. because its none of your business. but i say you are still entitled to your opinion that she should not be a disgusting whore!!!!! and entitled to be hurt when she is. even if shes done with you. becuase you are not quite done with her. you are still in luv with her, still want her. who knows when that is gonna be over.

2% milk has 120 calories per cup, whole milk 150.

yeah i have reading reddit relships all day to convince myself that i did nothing wrong and that she is out of line.

well i admit i was cowardly and weak. but that it wasnt THAT bad. i mean its hard to have a hard discussion. give me a damn break. i wasnt trying to AVOID it. i was trying to confront it, in my weak way. i was hinting an signally heavily, and trying to hang out. she was tyring to avoid everything.

i dunno i dont like to be treated so disrespectfully. its very disrespectful to be Thrown Away Like Garbage!!!! can you understand that?!?!?!?!?!

its not so bad if its a random stranger. then you can just say fookin asshole and never see them again. but when they were once your friend, a good friend, and they do this……its LIKE a betrayal hahahahahah.

plus her throwing me away like garbage is WAY more disrespectful than me getting feelings for her.

i didnt think she had such little respect for me! so that was shocking! shit she used to have a lot of respect for me.

i have never lost this much respect for a person! i dont even know how to relate to that! well except when women dump me and go be huge sluts hahaha.

https://bu.reddit.com/r/relationships/comments/43mn60/my_19_m_girlfriend_20_f_of_almost_2_years_broke/

hmm i almost wrote a response to this guy but he deleted his story and i cant find a cache/archive of it hahahaha.

nothing TOO exciting, i just sorta related to him. young man and his gf dumped him. not in the worst way, but not in the best way either. i wanted to use it as an example of, yeah this isnt the worst dumping, but women should aim to dump a lot better than this.

how are they so stupid and UnEmpathic that they dont know or dont care that they will be causing a person Great Pain?

how are relships such ugly, disappointing, tragic, heartbreaking, insane, Wrong, Clusterfooks??!?!?!?!?!?! cant people get along better than this? just use a LITTLE common sense. i would treat a person way better than this.

therefore, it is WOMEN who are at fault for all the Sorrow and Badness in Bad Relships hahahahaha.

https://bu.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/43mukg/my_19_m_girlfriend_20_f_of_almost_2_years_broke/

http://archive.is/uq1hT

FOUND IT! he crossposted it in relship advice as well. and i archived it for all eternity hahahaha

what i would say to him: yeah she COULD HAVE shown you even LESS respect by cheating on you….but she SHOULD have shown you a HELL of a lot MORE respect tho, by taking into account your feelings about being dumped, and being nice but decisive in dumping you.

IMHO, when you agree to a rel with them, you OWE IT TO THEM, its part of your RESPONSIBILITIES to them, to dump them gently and kindly and compassionate, if it reaches the point where you want to dump them and they want to stay/work on the rel….and you want to get out.  its like an early termination fee. the “fee” is simply BE NICE. BE KIND. BE GENTLE.

i would NEVER treat somebody like this unless i HATED them. i would never HATE them unless they made a concerted effort to push my buttons. i wouldnt hate somebody for getting feelings for me. i know you just cant turn feelings on an off at will, for any random person.

i hated one guy because he trolled me on our views of the world and became the most annoying faggot you wanted to punch in the face repeatedly.

i think thats how i made her feel hahahaha.

to her i became a really annoying faggot she wanted to punch in the face repeatedly.

damn.

punchable faces hahahaha.

that might be the best word for how she felt about me. the reaction i got out of her.

but i really feel if she took 5 minutes to think about it like an adult, she would see how ridiculous that is. why couldnt she give me that courtesy after the years together? are all women this childish and stupid and obtuse and unkind?

its totally immature, like something a 14 year old would do.

and in some ways i am very very emotionally mature, like a 14 year old: i get feelings too fast and too strong, i get feelings if i have secs or make out with or even cuddle with a gurl, and get way too attached to them too fast.

but i think this is a more positive way to be emotionally immature, than in the bad way, were you are paranoid and throwing tantrums and hate people for shitty reasons, and cant even attempt empathy, and are all hot and cold with no in between.

i mean she has empathy too, ive seen her use empathy, shes empathzed with ME before! just in this SITUATION to have her get so bipolar, was weird as hell, and caught me COMPLETELY off guard.

some woman on TRS forum said to be attractive to women, you have to TAKE REJECTION WELL. I thought this was stupid because a. nobody takes rejection super well b. if a woman rejects you and sees that you arent really upset….then what? is she gonna revoke her rejection? probably not. and if she did, that would be stupid and shameful and not the type of woman you want to be with.

so in other words, when That Woman rejected me, she probably hated and disrespected me EVEN MORE when she saw how upset and devastated and hurt I was.

i dunno this makes women seem like SADISTS, just shoveling hate and misery and suffering on men.

it did not seem worth it to autistically argue this one point with the forum woman hahahaha

well i took THE PREVIOUS REJECTION PRETTY WELL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I TAKE REJECTION AS WELL AS CAN BE EXPECTED, WHEN THE WOMAN MAKES AN EFFORT TO BE NICE ABOUT IT!!!!

why WOULD you reject someone in the meanest way possible?  because you HATE them?

why wouldnt you TRY to be nice or sympathetic when you are rejecting someone?

why would she not even take 5 minutes to THINK ABOUT THIS and how what i did was not some evil horrible thing???????

what the hell did her friends and family say when she talked about it with her? surely they cant all be as fooked up as her! unless she lied to them and said “UGH hes been creeping and stalking on me for months. he KNOWS im not interested but he still doesnt TAKE NO FOR AN ANSWER!” and then they say “well dump that creeper to the curb gurlfran, you dont owe him an apology lmao”

cuz she seemed pretty reasonable and thoughtful, and her family did too, such that if she were making a horrendous Lapse In Judgment, they would steer her the right way. and i believe this was a Horrendous Lapse In Judgment on her part.

yeah yeah yeah a tale as old as time, but im not used to it happening to me, from a person i really didnt expect it from.  it shattered my confidence and made me think, hmmm maybe i really DID do something awful to warrant this. i dont realize it but i still stabbed her right in the back and she is just showing righteous anger now. i am reaping what i sowed, even though i didnt realize i sowed it.

so yeah its a long process trying to convince myself that i am not reaping what i sowed, that this was a YUGE lapse in judgment on her part.

but what DID she say to her family and friends? that i was just being a CREEPER WEIRDO and not taking NO for an answer? how much would they have pushed back on that? I”LL NEVER KNOW. Like they could ask her, well did you TALK to him about this? did you tell him you dont want to hang out, or do you keep telling him later, later, later? do you think maybe he likes you? dont HATE him for THAT. hes not a bad guy!! try not to break his heart when you dump him, he’s not trying to hurt you. hey maybe even give him a try, he would treat you really well, you could do a lot worse, you already know each other and get along. you knew this guy for almost 3 years and used to be good friends. dont just throw him away like a piece of garbage, he’ll be devastated, and thats just bad karma, not a cool thing to do to anybody. think about it. if he had any choice in this, why would he pick a time when its bad timing? did he write you any emails? oh a couple long super long emails? did you read them or just delete them? this isnt some random weirdo. remember not too long ago you were telling me what a good person he was. so treat him like that.

ok fatclub. hopefully TRUMPENFUHRER wins iowa caucus. is there one winner for each party?

whos worse, bernie or hillary? probably hillary hahahahahahahaha. bernie admits he is a j00ish socialist hahahaha.

AND if she told me WHY she couldnt just talk to me….oh because i BETRAYED her. i would STILL want to talk about THAT.

well i dont agree i betrayed you.

well i think you did.

and you think I will be able to convince her i didnt betray her? I, as the accused betrayer?  I would need a damn independent tribunal. 3rd parties. which i why i wanted her to talk to her friends and family. shit i should have Reached Out to her friends and family at the time. i thought about contacting her mother. i met the mother a few times and she seemed to like me, and i guess the woman used to tell her mother all sorts of good things about me. if i were personally closer with the mother, i probably would have contacted her!!!!

but i just wonder what The Woman told her mother, and what the mother said. I will NEVER KNOW.

its really hard to say!

maybe there was no talk at all. or it was like, yeah, were not getting along so well right now, we are drifting apart, not as close anymore, oh well that happens, thats life.

i just hate thinking this will happen again: that i will accidentally do something HORRIBLY WRONG an drive the woman of muh dreams away from me;

and also worried i will never feel that way about a woman again. i am getting OLD, and i dont like older women, and i dont like casual sex women on the websites.

heh. i thought I WONDER IF SHE IS ON TINDER then i saw you couldnt browse tinder without a smart phone.

i actually went to tinder with the intent of looking for HER. confirming that she is putting herself out there for casual sex.

anyway i hate making mistakes, HUGE mistakes, without even being aware that i am.

and if this is the LAST woman….damn.

i wish she hadnt made me feel like i royally screwed up.

but no one can make you feel someway without your permission.

but…..when they treat you like you did something horribly wrong….they are kinda making you feel you did something horribly wrong. and in at least 50%, they would probably be RIGHT!

essentially i am being falsely accused hahahaha. i dont know how this feels. it is so confusing and disorienting.

cuz sometimes….its RIGHT for you to feel bad, its not a matter of you “giving permission to let someone else make you feel bad.” its because you really did something bad to them, they are upset at you, they should be, and you feel bad.

and you SHOULD listen to the people who you care about and who you thought cared abotu you. because their perceptions of you matter.

so when someone who mattered to me a lot thought i was a awful piece of shit…….i was hurt, and i felt horrible for hurting them.

heh. they should have KNOWN that i would take this hard. they should have thought hmmm he will prob be hurt by this, probably should tread lightly. not be EXTRA HARSH.

well really extra harsh would be her TELLING ME all sorts of shitty things like “i hate you, you did this to yourself, you made me do this, youre horrible person,etc” while dumping me. really she was just too afraid of confrontation.

she might ahve WANTED to be nicer to me, she was just too SCARED to.

I WILL NEVER KNOW.

and because i was obsessed about handling the rejection like a man….i did not contact her 90000000000000000 times afterwards. i contacted her like 4 times. i begged a little bit but not too much. i didnt bombard her with so much shit, to FORCE her to say “stop harrassing me, i am blocking you, if you stalk me im getting a restraining order” etc. she just blocked me on FB and she may have blocked me on phone and email, no way to confirm that.

just watching iowa caucus instead of going to fatclub. i came in under muh calorie goal anyway so thats good. on muh BEEF DIET hahahaha. best shit ever.

but yeah so disappointing. she could have just sent a message and said this will be the last message, im blocking you after this, but SORRY SORRY SORRY, i didnt mean to hurt you. and that would have saved a decent amount of pain.

ITS REALLY NOT THAT HARD. it seems like it would be HARDER to do what shes actually doing. i mean the guilt would eat me alive.

but she is good at avoiding confrontation. yeah i keep forgetting she does have a red flag that she is able to just throw away her responsibilities and run away in shameful ways. its sad cuz she can do better. but stupid when you are on the receiving end of that.

i say she has nothign but yellow flags but this one might be a red. not going to go into detail here hahaha.

0202

gotta when you get up in the morning say: i definitely did not deserve this. i did not do something horribly wrong. they have made an EGREGIOUS error in judgment. they got me wrong, and they did me wrong. it was a horrible misunderstanding that will NEVER be resolved.

just dont like poeple being WRONG about me.

also i dont know if she felt betrayed by me, or she just wanted to GET RID of me. maybe she does feel bad. she is not a horrible person, but when she is forced to make a difficult choice, she has a tendency to break down and NOT do the right thing. a good person who makes horrible, regrettable choices. it really is kinda tragic but i cant save her from herself. unless she lets me. which she wont. hahahaha. ok have fun either having mud bastards, or becoming a crazy old catlady. and if you have a kid you will prob not be good mother hahahaha.

she has the potential to be a good mother, but also the potential to be a bad mother. its hard to tell. she might decide its too HARD to be a good mother and then just neglect her children and emotionally abandon them. is that the kind of woman i want to be married to, having my children? FOOK NO!!!!!

its similar to a woman having an ABORTION. its a convenient, expedient, super effective, but very morally ambiguous (and i would say, very immoral!!) “Solution” to a “problem”.  and probably the woman doesnt feel HAPPY about it, might even feel long term guilt or conflict about it, and they arent angry or hateful or feel BETRAYED by the baby theyre killing.

but yeah if you can just GET RID OF a PERSON, its kinda like KILLING them! except here, you’re still alive!

its weird being metaphorically KILLED by somebody important to you! it sends the message that your LIFE isnt very important to them. at least not more important than their feelings of discomfort.

she has the capacity to do the right thing and be a good person…..but when it comes time to make some real important decisions…..she CHOKES and does NOT rise to the occasion.

i mean i am the same way. i know how to be a good person but its so HARD, and i have made bad decisions just because i was too WEAK to do the right thing.

i dunno you could still send a messenger to say to me, she doesnt mean to metaphorically KILL you. she feels real bad about this and wants the best for you. even THAT would be a step up.

RELATIONSHIP BILL OF RIGHTS AND RESPONSIBILITIES

  1.  I have the right to be not thrown away like a piece of garbage when you decide to get out of this rel.
  2. You have the responsibility to not throw me like a piece of garbage when you decide to get out of this rel.

hahahahahahahah ayyyyyyy lmao.

i mean just show a little Respect for the Dignity of Human Life.

Dont Throw PEOPLE away like GARBAGE.

dont date / have secs with more than one person at a time.

this is all very r-selected behavior. we HAVE to be better than that. I want to be better than that, and my topkek m8 also wants to be better than that. choose k-selection. dont be like CRAB PEOPLE. crabs in a bucket. rat race. no. each of those squirming rats are special and have dignity. treat them as such.

also if youve known someone for 3 years, then its even WORSE if you throw them away like garbage.

this is very different than a mutual drift away, where BOTH people dont want to put too much effort into the rel.

but appreciate that this person you knew for 3 years has feelings and their feelings will be DEVASTATED if you do this to them. and then make an effort not to do that to them.

so next time some catlady dyke bitch gives you shit about ENTITLEMENT, show her the Relationships Bill Of Rights And Responsibilities, and say, and say something like, is it ENTITLEMENT to have a REASONABLE EXPECTATION that the person will not treat you like a piece of garbage?

is it ENTITLEMENT to think you deserve not to be Abused?

is it ENTITLEMENT to think you deserve to be Communicated With?

really the feminist antimale cat lady is just the Jury Of Women in my Head. the internal self critic. saying you dont deserve this and youre not entitled to this, but you DO deserve to be thrown away like garbage, because you were a horrible person to her.

went to shrink today, shrink agrees that i am not a horrible person, but shoeld have discussed that a bit more hahahaha.

how is it SO HARD for me to CONVINCE myself that i did not deserve this?

well because that woman and her opinion of me was important to me!

but yeah. she REALLY could have done a LOT better. how disappointing.

so….what do CHEATERS deserve? what do ABUSERS deserve?

this is the kind of shit i obsess over. even though i never cheated and i damn sure never abused.

well abuse is probably worse than cheating.

and abandonment/ghosting/throwing you away like a piece of garbage is…..better than cheating? worse than cheating? its probably better than ABUSE. idunno. its seems really neck and neck with cheating! at least cheaters usually pretend to show remorse and beg im sorrrrrrrry baby ill never do it again! and then they do it again.

what about abortion? where does that go on the bad things scale. worse than abuse? worse than cheating?

well i would THINK its worse than abuse, its damn killing a baby!!!!!! hahahahaah

now the jury of women says: but thats oversimplifying, and as a man, i have no place to talk. its just a nonsentient clump of cells at this point AND its a very humane compassionate choice, to spare the future child a life of hardship.

if you talk about “AGENCY” that is a DOGWHISTLE that you a shitlord racist hahahaha. because that means you are Punching Down on Oppressed Groups by Blaming the Victim, and by IMplying that Oppressed Groups had Agency in preventing or doing something about their Oppression.

Because Agency is defined according to the people in power (cis white men hahahaha) , Cis White Men Oppress Oppressed groups by taking AWAY their agency! so to say they still HAVE agency is denying that white men are oppressing them!

redacted

gr8 thread. beta autist 19 yo young man on my racistforum has a date with a Chubby Guatemalan and the talk gets REALLY real.

 

ITS NOT YOUR JOB TO CONVINCE THEM / U CANT TAKE DOWN THE BLOCK THEY PUT UP

1213

118/152 days since hhahaha.

you dont contact the person who misjudged YOU, got YOU wrong, did YOU wrong, screwed YOU, and BEG THEM to change their mind! or do you? leaning towards no. i have never been in this position before, and i sure as hell cant put myself in her position either, hard to empathize with someone who is wrong about YOU and screwing YOU over.

ok. so she basically told me GET THE FOOK OUT OF MY LIFE. she BLOCKED me, saying she didnt just want to not talk to me, but she didnt even want to LISTEN to me.

would i really want to be in a REL with someone who I was always BEGGING “I really didnt do anything wrong, please dont hate me, youre wrong, please reconsider, please listen to me, please dont throw me out of your life”, whenever she thought i did something wrong, even though i didnt do anything wrong????? fook no!

someone i was constantly trying to convince that they shouldnt hate me, please dont hate me, this really isnt a bad thing, this is a terrible misunderstanding, well yeah i mean you understand that i like you, but you dont understand how this isnt a betrayal! its not a horrible thing!

is it REALLY MY job to convince them of that? of convincing them that the things they think are bad, are really good?

again ive never done what she’s done before. i never held a grudge again someone like this, against someone who was reaching out and pleading and begging saying please dont hate me. there was always coldness on both sides.

mah boyz nationalist “RAC” band has a slow sad song where he growl sings mournfully. nice! i dont say his name because i am not sure he wants people to know its him in this band. however he might be coming out of the nationalist closet in 2015. great time to do it! its about time!

anyway. if you have to always convince the person not to hate you, that the shit youre doing is not really wrong, but they find it atrocious and want to throw you away for it and are always getting unspeakably mad at you for INVALD reasons and not talking to you …… well it doesnt sound like a good healthy rel with a future. and it doesnt sound like they really luv you.

their heart is not open to you WHATSOEVER.

i am still under the SPELL.

i mean, what the fook would i say to her? write her an email after 118 days, that she either blocks, deletes, doesn’t read, doesnt respond to, saying, hey havent contacted you in 118 days, are you ready to apologize yet? cuz i still NEED you, im not even close to being over you, and youre probably fooking guys because playing with human life is no big deal.

its just so weird and so disturbing that WOMEN would not take sex seriously. they have the most to lose! 100 / 0!!!!!

i am really closest to christians in muh view on sex, just need to find a devout christian gurl already and hope she doesnt try to convert me beyond going to church once a week hahahaha.

i mean shes shown NO intention to commuincate or reconcile. she STILL holds a GRUDGE against me. why is it MY job to convince her when shes in the wrong? is it THAT worth having a good ending? pulling teeth just to get her to reject me nicely? cuz she’s not gonna change her mind and be like she LOVES me now. then she would be more open and willing and make a damn effort and lift a damn finger.

i wonder what she did with the nice present and also the “dead giveaway” card i gave her last xmas. just throw them away? leave them? if she HATES me, shouldnt that be a reminder of the person who “BETRAYED” her and whom she hates? so she shouldnt have it somewhere where its easy to find? or maybe it will make her think of the guilt for treating me badly?

i saw a cute gurl at church that i could possibly get feelings for……but she was like 18 years old! pretty soon i will be old enough to be an 18 year old gurls FATHER hahahaha.

anyway she certainly didnt luv me….she didnt show me kindness at all! she said get out of my life forever! im not even willing to listen to you!

and i still want to “CONVINCE” her that shes mistaken?

yeah because i am still under the SPELL.

it would be different if we had been Dating for like 2 years and she misunderstood me and stopped talking to me. then shed probably be more willing to talk to me in the future after “cooling off.”

but that was not the case. theres nothing to really “go back to.” i dont want to go back to being just friends. i am ok with the rel ending, because we want diff things. thats fine. just dont HATE me because of it.

well as a beta male the best i can get is a beta female: ie, old, trashy, single mom, crazy, ugly, fat, a bad mate in other words. was she too alpha for me? out of my league? the fact that she had “too much baggage” (which is what i said when i first met her), but then later decided was not dealbreaking baggage; was baggage i could easily live with; maybe i need a “beta woman” with some “baggage” so she can sink down to my league hahahahaha.

anyway she did the equivalent of throwing me out and changing the locks. i just dont like being hated like this. for stupid wrong reasons. by someone i dont hate. i have never been in this position before. and i hope to never be again. i can barely live through this one. it has killed me and set me back YEARS and made me an even huger pathetic loser. its horrible. didnt just ruin this YEAR, may well ruin next year as well.

i wish i had never met her, or wish she had jsut gotten married to the first boifran, but HE wanted to be done with her!

and i think she still doesnt hate HIM. she is disappointed he didnt luv her as much. but she doesnt hate him. well of course not! she luved him! i wish she could have shown me a little of that luv. in a WAY she DID, she was REALLY REALLY nice to me, and i came to really like that. then she was REALLY REALLY mean to me. and the bad ultimately outweighed the good.

https://www.quora.com/You-love-a-girl-and-she-hates-you-She-knows-you-love-her-and-you-know-she-will-not-accept-you-There-is-a-high-probability-that-you-irritate-her-How-can-you-convince-her-that-you-will-never-hurt-her-feelings-and-love-her-forever

google she hates me because i love her

http://forums.psychcentral.com/relationships-communication/260838-i-told-girl-i-liked-her-now-she-hates-me.html

results: you cant make someone love you

contacting her again would just irritate her and make her hate me more

her getting so ridic offended by me liking her is HER hangup/issue, i cant fix it or convince her.

if you luv them let them go hhahahaha and if it was really meant to be, they will come back. welp looks like it wasnt meant to be then cuz she aint coming back hahaha.

http://forums.psychcentral.com/relationships-communication/

heheheheheheheheheheheheheheh interesting forum, a few of muh favourite things there

ok. so on MW new vidya, i lap these up like a white woman laps up black coch, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KFW9BWlBc-0  a commenter says something like indigenous alpha women go to the indigenous alpha men, indigenous beta women go to the exogenous alpha men, while the indigenous beta men get exogenous beta women. in terms of trashy (beta) white women being “poached” by black men with confidence and swagger and charisma and muh dick, and beta white men have to go outside of their race for a mate because women of their own white race dont like them, think they are wimpy pussies.

did she treat with THAT much disrespect because i was THAT much of a beta? and its fine to be Just Friends, but the idea of the Huge Beta getting feelings is SO repulsive, its instinctly repulsive and disgusting, like bestiality or incest or child raep?

well if an animal fell in luv with me, i would still treat it kindly and say sorry animal but i just dont feel that way. treat people the way you want to be treated. golden rule.

anyway thank god for those articles, convinced me not to contact her. when somebody hates you and wants you to stay away……you stay away. if they want to come back, THEY have to come back. if you keep bugging them they will just continue to hate you. right or wrong. in this case horribly wrong hahahaha.

well i hate that she saw it as bugging. fook why cant you just talk or hang out with the person who was once your friend?

hanging out is not a bad thing! getting feelings is not a bad thing or betrayal!

she saw things for what they were but had the WRONG REACTION to them.

so im supposed to respect her feelings when her feelings are so stupid and wrong and hurtful to me?

well i wont respect that but i will ACCEPT that in that i would never FORCE her to do anything. she can have her own free will even if it is hurtful and horrible. freedom to destroy me. hahaha.

just using google maps to follow the vistula river in poland, and stumble upon auschwitz hahahaha i guess its really not that shocking. auschwitz was a town ever since 1200

i dont think its worth being hated over. she is wrong to hate me. so, should i contact her friends or family and ask them to take my side? that would probably make her hate me too.

its just her damn issue.

whenever i hated someone, it was for much more valid reasons: they had DUMPED me, not they were in LOVE with me!

i mean maybe i shouldnt have HATED them, and certainly my hate died down, but its UNDERSTANDABLE to be angry at someone who rejects you.

so i guess its Similarly Understandable to be Angry at someone who likes you, but you dont like back, because it presents and awkward, frustrating, stupid situation?

fine, but not this much! AND the person being dumped has license to be angrier than the person being liked! in fact, many times, the person being liked is not super mad! but they say awwww and have sympathy for the person they have to reject!

she rejected me so hatefully because i was a beta. REBUTTED: i was a BIGGER beta with the previous woman, and SHE rejected me in a very nice, mature, respectly, kind, awesome way! It was AWESOME being rejected by you, thank you SO much hahahaa.

russia directly borders north korea for about 5 miles. the nearest large city is vladivostok. so we have a european country, in the eastmost of asia, where “the majority of the population is russian or ukrainian” ie white hahahahaha.

interesting to see white cities in areas you think of as nonwhite hahaha. white white white white i am obsessed with whites. this is my body telling me REPRODUCE. HAVE CHILDREN. YOU ARE GETTING OLD. HOW HAVE YOU NOT REPRODUCED YET.

so Despair is very maladaptive to life, so why does it pass on in the genes? because in the past, most people had children YOUNG, so they had several children before their first despair episode came on at age 19 or 20 or so.

and also women. women will always reproduce, so i blame all the shitty genetic stuff on them hahahahaha.

like are there cute young white girls in IRKUTSK for example hahahaha . probably yes.

google nightclubs in irkutsk hahahahaha

every city is gonna have a univeristy and near that univ there will be bars and clubs and pubs where 20-25 year old women will be out there bending over selling their sperm sewers to the most fun, secsy, masculine, dominant men hahahahahahahahah

well certainly a city of 500000 people like irkutsk!!!!!

10000 not so sure. 100000 maybe not even. 300000 getting warmer.

they say there are TEN THOUSAND people in the WORLD at any given moment who would be a perfect match for you. that you could fall in lub with.

uhhhhhhhh it sounds like a lot……but its really not. with 7 billion people, its amazing anyone could ever meet ANY ONE of those 10000. and i have met like 6 of them. i am counting women that i fell in real luv with and been heartbroken by, did stupid things over, took a long time to get over. i might get rid of one of them hahahaha. the criteria is heartbreak or stupid shit.

so if finns are mongolians, what about estonians hahahahaha. in the white racist community there is this big conspiracy that finns are really asians hahahaha. just super light skinned. they are not full “europids”. i dunno i would prob have keeds with a cute finnish gurl hahahaha.

maybe all this heartbreak is a sign that i need to not just look for white gurls, but white girls that are closer to my own white subset. like there are celts and anglo saxons and germans and slavs and balts and scandinavians and gauls and iberians and scythians and all that. maybe a gurl within my own subset of Whites would understand me best, and luv me, and not throw me under the bus.

bbbbbut there are plenty of alpha males in my proud ethnicity. so i could get a beta woman then. like a woman with no father, but she didnt become a slut or a single mom hahahahaha. see its hard to find that “Higher Beta” woman. cuz sluts and single mothers, thats TOO beta.

yeah but what have I done with my life? im a huge beta too!

yeah. shit.  just realize someone has feelings. see that as a beautiful thing, dont get angry at them for it, and reject them gently. appreciate that somebody has feelings for you. shit i would be FLATTERED.

ARE ALL WOMEN LIKE THAT ?!?!?!?!?!

1204

shit. delicious tacos is a great writer but i dont know if i need that kind of pessimism and degeneracy right now!

but i have decided to indulge myself in Hate after listening to this ramzpaul video about love and hate.

about weak cucks who are terrified to respond to the paris attacks with “islamaphobia” and the guy whose wife was killed but immediately he said he did not hate them, he forgave them, and just hideous cuck weakness.

and ramz says the opposite of luv is not indifference, like that retarded saying, but its really hate, just like common sense initially tells you. two sides of the same coin, two sides of the same spectrum, and its possible that if you do not know how to hate, you dont know how to truly LOVE!!!!!!!

so i decided rather than being AFRAID of my hate like so many weak cucks, i would embrace my hate. for those who had wronged me and broke my heart hahahaha. i thought some thoughts i cannot repeat here hahahaha. i thought what would be the best “revenge.” i thought maybe if she got aids from some black thug then slowly died of aids, also had a mixed baby with aids who would slowly die along with her.

then i thought, thats a little too much, withering away with aids is too much. i thought it would be better if she jsut had some brown babies with several black thugs who abandoned her and the babies, over the next 10 years she had about 3 of those and threw her white genes away; AND balloon up into a huge white trash hambeast, 400 pounds at least. that would be PERFECT. morbidly obese white trash with brown babies who can only get secs from black thug bottom feeders, and quite simply can’t attract a good decent man any more cuz shes that fat and depraved, and all she can get are black thugs on tinder for pump and dump, while her mixed kids grow up to be thugs, and she balloons up to 500 pounds, maybe THEN she gets aids at age 40 or so hahahaha and withers down to 200 pounds hahaha.

unfort her family does not seem prone to fatness like 99% of amerifats. come on. just eat more shitty food fatty.

the idea of sadistically torturing her did not appeal to me though, i did not want to cause her terror and pain, however if she were instantly k’ed by a bus i might think that was fair hahahaha.

really i just want her to become a loser at life, cant handle her job, cant handle the heartbreak, just quit and give up and be heartbroken like me. go through the same pain i am.

but she’s prob doing this BECAUSE she is going through heartbreak, she is supposedly heartbroken from the scumbag she short term dated. she was kinda thrown away by him, heart broken, cant get revenge on him, so she needs to take that out on somebody.  i was the PERFECT target for that, because she thought i was so annoying and unfair.  she had some revenge of her own to get, some hate to express, and i was the perfect target. makes perfect sense.

she was already heartbroken. well i want her to be heartbroken again. by someone she works with. so she has to quit her job. for example, maybe she could give it up to some guy(s) at the job, like a whore. but then she can get feelings, fall in luv, and then the guy can just IGNORE her, even though they work together. then she can go crazy and quit the job and be completely devastated and broken in every way. i think this would be a suitable revenge for me hahahaha.

of course then she would just slut it up afterwards, giving sex to all sorts of sleazy men, and i dont have that “privilege” hahahaha. i dont think id want that privilege.

and then she could become a 400 pound mud shark white trash with brown babies and she can’t even get an attractive white man to fook her any more, can only pull black bottom feeding thugs and felons.

fook yeah im a racist, i dont like it when white women fook or have brown babies with black men! i just dont like it and im not sorry! i want white women to have babies with white men!!!! white women who fook black men are TRASHY! i am disappointed when white women even consider fooking nonwhite men!

its partially my own preferences. i prefer white women, i would never want to have children with anything but a white woman, so therefore i prefer white women who themselves prefer white men!

maybe she could become a damn drug addict or alcoholic too.

but see, she was never into drugs or alcohol or slutting it up. if she had avoided all those by age 25…..thats GOOD! and that is part of why i liked her.

shit when i was 21 i was drinking like a MADMAN. i basically drank like a MADMAN from ages 18 to 26. it was STUPID. i drank more than the average rowdy young Adult, to where i clearly had a Drinking Problem, but i wouldnt call myself an “alcoholic” hahahaha. but it was definitely a problem.

she never had this! she barely drinks at ALL! thats GOOD! she doesnt abuse drugs either! like other white trash people pop pain pills. she doesnt!

anyway yeah. i was the perfect “victim” because she had been done wrong and she needed to do somebody wrong. the timing was PERFECT for that for her. and i was the PERFECT person to do that to, because i was “SO” annoying and it was SO unfair that i got these feelings for her. so, break MY heart  and throw me away, the way her heart was broken and she was thrown away.

because you cant get revenge on THAT person directly. she couldnt get revenge on that guy, cuz he just didnt really care. i cant get revenge on her, i mean break HER heart, because she doesnt love me. i cant possibly break her heart. but i do want someone else to break her heart again in the future hahahahahah to get revenge FOR me hahahaha. karmic revenge. pref a guy she works with so she has to quit her job.

i want her to be so out of control of her emotions that she quits her living wage job.

i want her to completely love someone and be thrown away by them.

well supposedly thats what already happened. and thats why she did it to ME. well now i want somebody to do it to HER again. one of the first things i said when it happened to me was, I NEVER WANT TO DO THIS TO SOMEBODY ELSE. and i hope i never do. the cycle of abuse stops with me hahahaha.

i can totally understand why people do it, especially if they are undergoing ongoing horrible abuse, like being raept by your father, that you then take it out by bullying others, torturing animals, etc. or if you are a korean getting verbally abused all day, you get out of work, get drunk on cheap rice liquor, and verbally abuse your wife and children, then pass out on the floor or are vomiting on the sidewalk at 11 pm on a weeknight hahaha.

oh yeah i finally have a life protip for once: if you have trouble sleeping try earplugs. i have become such a light sleeper that any damn sound will wake me up for an hour. so earplugs can block out all sound and make it like you are in a hermetically sealed tomb hahaha. it has been sorta working for me lately. i usually sleep on left side so my right ear is open to the world. so i just use one earplug, in the right ear. not bad.

i think she is real good at doing out of sight, out of mind, push shit under the rug. but i worry about shit. i cant ignore or avoid it. i worry about it.

scott weiland dead. well cant say im surprised! im surprised he lived this long! they arent saying what it was yet, but it HAD TO BE drugs. prob heroin. maybe heroin mixed with cocaine. he was a good singer but obviously a huge degenerate. but i can understand the want to do hard drugs. sometimes i think heroin would be good for me to block out the pain hhahhaahaha. i wonder what kind of father he was to his 2 known children. probably horrible hahaha.

when you are in LUV with somebody, you want to have secs with THEM AND ONLY THEM. you arent tempted by other people. well at least im not. i can say yeah that gurl at the gym is very attractive but i just dont care abotu banging them. secs is something special you do with your loved one, and i only have one loved one.

is this really so controversial and weird?????!!!??????

i kinda want to contact her and say THIS IS WRONG. YOU CANT DO THIS. THIS IS HORRIBLE. YOU SHOULD FEEL HORRIBLE and beg for my forgiveness. which i do because i still luv you hahaha. but now i HATE you a bit too and want you to suffer for this. by having your heart broken AGAIN, devastating you, making you quit your job, being abandoned and thrown away without a word. YOU DONT DO THAT TO SOMEONE. i will never do this to someone even though its been done to me. i know you had you heart broken but you didnt have to do it to ME. get mad at that guy. not ME.

shit it makes perfect sense, i made a big breakthrough. this hate shes showing to me is really a projection of the hate she feels towards him, but cant express to him.

she doesnt really hate ME, she hates HIM! maybe i should contact her to tell her this hahahha.

so her brain is not workign regarding her hating me and throwing me away.

does that mean her brain isnot working correctly regarding her having feelings for me?

i dont think so, that is, i think she really does know what she wants regarding having feelings for me, that is, she REALLY doesnt have feelings for me.

and if she DID, she would come to me begging forgiveness. or have a friend or family contact me. i would totally take that hahahaha. she could have her mom email, call, or text me on her behalf if shes too ashamed………and i wouldnt blame her for being ashamed! ……… so maybe i SHOULD contact her then!

shit. like 110 days of NIC and i am still thinking about contacting her!

how to take verbal abuse at work?

you say, dont talk to me like that. treat me with respect.

and if they fire you they fire you. you have the moral high ground.

if it’s your boss, go to your boss’s boss and tell them so and so is being verbally abusive. you have told them to stop, but they continue. please have a chat with them and tell them to stop being a fooking rude little phaggot bitch. it reflects poorly on our company. thank you.

if a customer is verbally abusing you, say, if you do not calm down and show me some respect, i will be forced to hang up. ITS YOUR CHOICE. ITS UP TO YOU. even if your companys policy is to sit there and take the abuse. then let the company fire you. you have the moral high ground.

symphony of sorrowful songs, heres some great nondegenerate music that will chill you out, rahter than scott weiland shooting dope, banging whores, and abandoning his children. thats exactly why i dont listen to music, its made by people like that.

i used to be a big led zeppelin fan, but led zeppelin were HUGE degenerates, perhaps the biggest degens of all.

i also like the music of grateful dead, allman brothers, a lot of 70s bands………all degenerates.

all those metal bands i like? degen. drunk nihilists who would sell their soul for slutty groupies.

hehe i bet even henryk gorecki was a degenerate. tons of gay sex at music school hahaha. abandoning his children. drugs. he was a j00.

ok he was not a j00, he was a straight up polish roman catholic. good. ok he doesnt seem too degen reading his biog. but you never know. there is only one sentence about his wife and keedz.

QUOTE

”  In 1972, he was promoted to assistant professor,[24] and developed a fearsome reputation among his students for his often blunt personality. According to the Polish composer Rafał Augustyn, “When I began to study under Górecki it felt as if someone had dumped a pail of ice-cold water over my head. He could be ruthless in his opinions. The weak fell by the wayside but those who graduated under him became, without exception, respected composers”.[25] Górecki admits, “For quite a few years, I was a pedagogue, a teacher in the music academy, and my students would ask me many, many things, including how to write and what to write. I always answered this way: If you can live without music for 2 or 3 days, then don’t write…It might be better to spend time with a girl or with a beer…If you cannot live without music, then write.”[37]    ”

i THINK what he MEANS is, just give it up, if you can live without music for even 2 or 3 days, you dont have what it takes, go find solace in women or booze instead, you are not a real musician.

I DUNNO, i can go 2 or 3 days without msuic BECUASE i find musicians too degenerate exactly about stuff like women and booze! is how i would reply to gorecki.

but he was talking to academic classical musicians at a conservatory, not to teen scumbags in a garage huffing glue and drinking cheap vodka and smoking dirtweed and bathsalts and meth and popping pain pills and banging white trash tattooed sluts who like guys in shitty bands. two very different kidns of musician here.

maybe i should try arvo part?

philip glass. whoops he is a j00. as is steve reich. no i dont hate all j00s and not all j00s are total degenerates……but at this stage of my life, i dont really really really NEED any additional j00ish influence in my life such that i seek out new j00s to add it to. even if philip glass is awesome.

well lets put it this way, i would prefer to cut out ALL TV from my life, before I add philip glass into it. also listening to new music at my age takes effort i dont have. its not worth it. the pros do not outweigh the cons.

its amazing they dont have a pcture of this san bernardino shooters wife. or gurlfran or whatever. supposedly she radicalized him. but who ever heard of a WOMAN who doesnt have a PICTURE of herself? women LITERALLY take pictures of themselves EVERY DAY because theyre NARCISSISTS hahahahahaha.

laci green, i have been hearing about her, she sounds like a real degenerate. started life as a nice white mormon girl, became a pro-slut, pansexual, atheist, planned parenthood, sex educator. NOPE!!!!!

http://io9.com/5606765/myths-about-the-love-hormone-oxytocin-that-could-ruin-your-love-life

she shares a link stating that oxytocin is bullshit pushed by sex negative conservatives like me hahahaha so go ahead and take 900000000000 casual  cox

she makes a scant 20 videos a year, has a MILLION subscribers, and doesnt have one single video talking about faithfulness, loyalty, heartbreak, feelings, monogamy, or communication.

its just all hookups, buttplay, squirting, consent, FWB, NSA, open rels, chill hangouts, 50 shades of gray, orgasms, shaving, labias, queefing, degen shit. nothing on how to COMMUNICATE about your FEELINGS in a RELATIONSHIP with a HUMAN BEING.

yet this is her fookin CAREER. ridiculous.

there is nothing wrong with jealousy. it means you dont want your partner to DUMP YOU or CHEAT ON you. so it means you dont trust your partner? WELL, SHOULD YOU? have they really earned your trust? or does she have 90000000000000 guy friends and is always talking to guys? and has had 9000000000000 boifrans and dumped them all after short rels? fook no you shouldnt trust that!

hehehe i guess i secretly want to bang her but she would never let me because i am creepy and old and take sex too seriously and just a creepy white creep loser hahahaa

oh yeah i saw her on MW favorites, where a switched on person asks laci green if shed ever heard of rotherham and of course she hadnt, over a year later. someone who fights against “rape culture” has never heard of the biggest mass raping in years.

sargon of akkad is huge and shows how normal people dont like feminists and sjws and is kinda bringing good stuff in to the mainstream. he appeared suddenly and grew quickly and now makes $1000 per video. amazing. a year ago i never heard of him.

anyway i just want him to say, im left or im right. rather than be a weak leftist libertarian who just happens to dislike feminism because he’s too beta to SMASH PVSSY hahahaha. and mad that feminists are bitching about vidya games in gamergate hahahaha.

goddam bitch! i betrayed her by getting feelings for her???!?!?! SHE BETRAYED ME by throwing me away like a piece of garbage when we had known each other for almost 3 years!!!!!!!!!! you dont do that to someone you KNOW, no matter if youre ANGRY at them!!! you only get to throw away people you dont know! lets say less than 3 MONTHS but even 2 months would be better!

is this an all women thing? do all women throw men away like this? wiht no remorse?

ARE ALL WOMEN LIKE THAT???!?!?!?!?!?!

no just 99% of them hahahaha.

whenever i say “99% of x are bad”, i remind myself i’m PROBABLY engaging in all or nothing thinking, and it would be a DRASTIC IMPROVEMENT to instead say “This is all or nothing thinking. how about only 50% of them are like that. THATS MUCH BETTER.” and indeed it is!!!!!!!!!!1

when there is any doubt, always go with 50%!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

WOES makes a good point that when some rightists and esp libertarians harp about MUH FREEDOMS, they seem to be confusing FREEDOM with LICENSE, in the sense of LICENTIOUSNESS, ie DEGENERACY. ie FREEDOM TO BE A DEGENERATE. do anything any everything as long as you are not hurting anyone besides yourself.

well i say that degeneracy like casual sex is not a victimless crime: what about the hearts you break? thats a big deal i’d say. if you break even one heart, you should do some sort of commensurate punishment: like abstain from casual sex for at least one year. beg the person for forgiveness, better yet, earn their forgiveness. give them a new job, give them a full ounce of dank MJ, give them $1000, give them 30 tapering-off bangs, LISTEN to their monologues and their long emails, apologize profusely.

well just because youre not having a rel, doesnt mean casual sex people treat their secx partners like DISPOSABLE REPLACEABLE GARBAGE. or so they say hahaha. i mean they really do. well, maybe give these sexually immoral degens the benefit of the doubt haha. but honestly these dumb sluts on laci greens videos dont understand that for men to get sex, it takes SKILL. for women to get sex, it takes NOTHING. NO SKILL. thats a big part of why the slut stud double standard exists. and it all springs from woman are the ones who get pregnant, and getting pregnant is a BIG DEAL. thats why its hard for men to get sex.

i dont mind THAT at all. it only makes sense given the pregnancy thing. what DOES annoy me is when WOMEN dont RECOGNIZE this, and they think its ok to be sluts!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and complain about slut shaming! being a slut IS shameful, period! and they dont recognize this. they of all people SHOULD recongize this! how can WOMEN, the ones who DO get pregnant, NOT understand this? because pregnancy gives them a kind of power or privilege (heheheheheh) and when you have Pvssy Privilege, you dont NEED to understand, like what sjw sensitive narcissist triggered college student crybullies say about cis white privilege?

well….these are kinda self-selected sluts, no? the type of peopel who would watch, comment, respect LACI GREEN. of COURSE theyre dumb sluts! who dont understand how the mating market works, how the world works, how nature works. MORONS.

i wouldnt mind using the elliptical if it didnt MAKE you go a minimum of 5 mph. i like to go 3 mph most of the time, then bump it up to 5.5 only some of the time. certainly less than half.