Unemployment rates for states. Good Old ND at the top as I thought. But what OTHER states are good? SD. Nebraska. NOICE. Quite a surprising list though. Look at the bottom. Illinois? North carolina?? I thought these states were GOOD.

mond 9 16 623pm

switching times. weird, weird day. had the very rare chance to sleep in as long as humanly possible, which only happens a couple times a year, and this time I slept till about 3 pm, (checking muh privilege), even while going to bed the previous night at 11pm. sixteen hours of sleep. and i haven’t been particularly sleep deprived lately! however I felt absolutely euphoric after all that sleep, got a weird drug like feeling.

there was a fun erotic or romantic part in the dream as well. I was with a young 18yoqt and we both liked each other and I was teasing her a little like Lovers Do, and we were just at a gas station midway through a long drive to go up to a Lake House or something for a Fun Long Weekend For Lovers. Sun, Summer, Swimming, and certainly some Fun Nights to be had. Unfort the dream did not get into any of that, just the implication.

then the dreams got weird, shifted to a completely diff episode, and the girl was gone. damn. something weird like I was slowly being poisoned and turned into a mutant and going crazy from chernobyl-like nuclear radiation.

but the other one was real nice. heh. would be nice to experience that feel, hahahahaha. I am greedy for that feel.

would it be the same with a 30yo as with an 18yo? not sure. I don’t get as excited about the thought, that’s for sure!!!


tues 9-17 809pm

getting used to this docs. (official switching to google docs and saying f00k you to gmail drafts)

Is Pure MATH a good major?

Probably Yes. Math is probably the most important thing in the world. It underpins everything. It’s like philosophy. IF you can understand advanced math, you can understand anything and everything. All science comes out of math. Math should be the FIRST thing you learn. Don’t learn science until you learn math.  Big Government Should Make A Law that All College Students Should Take: Calc 1 AND Calc2 AND Calc 3 AND Linear Algebra AND Finite Math AND DiffEQ AND DiffEQ 2 AND Stats 1 AND Stats 2. And THAT would WEED a lot of people out, do them a favour really.

was watching this semi ridic PBS docu called “God In America”. Kinda ridic and self-important, but also fun, I had never heard of this Briggs guy who started a lot of “modernizing” movement re Evangelical Protestants in the late 1800s, and there was then now Fundamentalists Vs MOdernizers, COnservatives vs LIberals. Now, I’m usu quite CONSERVATIVE, but I had to side with Briggs on this one, I don’t think Darwin or Science is any THREAT to religion and god, that Science and Religion can WORK TOGETHER to Shine LIght on each other, I share Briggs’s optimism. And while WJ Bryan was a charismatic guy and I like his Conservative Populism, and this Clarence Darrow was a little sneaky sleazebag, I ain’t no Fundamentalist. It was disappointing seeing christians fighting against each other over SCIENCE, when they COULD have been learning MATH. Even Fundamentalist Christians are allowed to take all those MATH courses!

And of course I was asking about the Catholic Immigrants from say Italy and Poland and Ireland, who were viewed with horrible disdain. But the show never discussed, just showed a bunch of city factory workers with dirt on their faces and calling them immigrants. missed opportunity.

But just to be on the safe side, I would major in Something Engineering, with a Minor in Math.

thurs 9 18

I MEAN double Major in An Engineering AND Math. Yes.

Have Paid Internships going all the way back to HIGH SCHOOL. At the VERY LEAST, Summer 1 of College. How about Summer 0 : Summer Between High School and College. Yeah. don’t want employers to think you are one of those bad college students and not a good college student.

Heh. I agree with Will Smith’s talentless son that the world would be a better place if everyone dropped out of school. Educational Institutions do not help the world, they hurt the world.

Education and Learning is for f4gg0ts, hahahaha. No, not really. but it can be hard to get your brain to work when you’re lazy and tired and old. have i said this already? but if your master strong solid employable skills, you will make money and be a winner in life and have a good job and make good money and attract good mates and afford to keep your loved ones safe from disease and violence.

Sometimes someone who looks and acts really dumb and annoying and you want to punch them in the face, turns out to be really smart and successful, a unstoppable top 1% College Student who is going to Medical Doctor Skool or Law Skool. And that, if anything, makes the situation even worse! Because you wanted them to be a big LOSER to match how annoying they are, not a big WINNER!!!

See here some classic Rumination which Dr Steve (Ilardi) sez you and me must STOP. Just cut it out. Pull The Plug. Play some games, rearragne the Queue, drink some water, get up and do pressups or situps or crunches or Capoeira or Wing Chun or prayers. Dr Steve suggests doing a Shared Activity with a Fran, if you have one. I guess the key is to stop the cycle of negative thoughts, true as they may be, and get out and do something. Go to Burlington Coat Factory and buy a suit for jobz interviewz.

thurs 9 19 740 am

holy smokes. dat feel when you close one day then opent he next day at yer underjob. actually not a horrible feel if you don’t ahve to do anything precision or stressful.

however, very likely I got less than 4 hours sleep. for a guy that likes at LEAST 9…

but was in good spirits, listened to a very grim, bleak, dreary, sorrowful, despairing song on repeat at least 5 times on the way over, it was bretty hilarious.

* If you have a Useless Degree and are 100k In Debt, then just leave your college degree OFF your resume to prove that You Don’t Think You’re Overqualified for a job that doesn’t “require” a college degree. Pretend you never graduated College and pretend you’re not 200k in debt!

* If it was a Name School, maybe put the Name on there, but imply you did not graduate.

* what a scam, amirite? yep. but one day you will be making good money and mating with good (young, qt) wimmin, then you won’t care about the scam you went through in the past.

* your wife b(_)rp5 5p3rm all over her t!t5


how to ruby on rails

how to calc 3

how to $12 an hour

how to good wief

friday sept 20 2013 1137 am

* So, live at home, go to Loser Community College, and take ALL the (harder) math classes they have. When you Babby Boomer Mom complains about you not wanting to grow up, show her the f00king ridiculous math problems you’re doing and say, “LOOK FAMILIAR? NO? THEN IN TODAYS WORLD, YOU DON’T DESERVE TO MAKE $12 AN HOUR. YOUR DAYS ARE NUMBERED. BE THANKFUL YOU EVEN HAVE A JOB, BECAUSE WITH YOUR NONEXISTENT SKILL SET IN 2013, YOU WOULDN’T.  I HAVE TO BE A SUPERGENIUS SUPERSCIENTIST TO GET THE  SAME KIND OF JOB YOU HAD TO BE A COMPLETE IDIOT TO GET 30 YEARS AGO. YOU WOULDN’T SURVIVE A DAY IN 2013. BESIDES, COLLEGE COSTS 900000000000 TIMES MORE THAN IT DID FOR YOU, AND I WANT TO BE ABLE TO PROVIDE FOR MY FAMILY ONE DAY. OH WAIT, YOU DIDN’T GO TO COLLEGE???” and then go back to your Math Homework while she goes back to Celebrity and Reality Television, hehehehehehe.

* Do Manny Internships, Heck focus on internships ABOVE Classes, they’re prob more important anyway.

* NEVER take a class unless you have the CASH to pay for it ALL UP FRONT.  NO credit cards, and ABSOLUTELY NO LOANS. NO CASH, NO CLASS. So It takes you 10 years to graduate college. BIG DEAL. Less Classes, Moar Internships. Internships don’t COST anything anyway. Except the money they’re not paying you for working, hahahahaha. f4gg0ts. so whaddya do, you gotta f4g the f4gg0ts right back.

* Don’t Ruminate On Your Past Failures, Go Out and do something fun (nondrugs) with your friends if you have any.



8 2 13


ok so if you’re in a horrible godawful end it all sort of mood for the first 4 hours after you wake up….then try to distract yourself from that by working, errands, out of house, and No Writing.

If you feel the urge to fire up the old writing sheet and write about your angry sad hopeless kissless worthless useless hopeless lazy pathetic feels, JUST SAY NO. JUST DON’T DO IT. Play a darn GAME instead. There IS a productive way to write about such things, but it’s really RISKY, because you have to keep it SUPER SHORT, and then spin it so it’s very positive-heavy. You may be more likely to write 900000 pages of negative awful stuff than to do that, thus, it’s more effective just to write nothing at all.

It’s perfectly OK to write Positive Stuff like: I’m awesome, I’m thankful for all the good things in my life, I’m thankful for that, I’m good at this, I’m good at that, I’m hopeful about that, or here’s a good idea. But No Bad Feels.

Can you write about how you saw an 18 year old girl who really made you go HNNNNNNNGGGGGGG the best in the past month or so? Probably not, unless you’re Taking Action on a Plan to Make That Happen. IE, you’ve actually TALKED to the girl like a Normalfag, and not just saw her, thought she was real cute and prime of youth, then fantasized about playing with her young body for hours, and dating and marrying her.

Not to say your Feeeeeeeeeeeeelings aren’t “VALID”, just that Expressing them in Writing probably isn’t gonna help much, if at all. Save it for your Bargain-Basement Shrink! or Priest!

sat 8 3

shouldn’t be writing before awake for 4 hours unless DAMN sure it’s Positive. which it is!

* if you’re feeling grumpy or worse in the morning, no big shocker there, well, try to make a Big Joke out of everything, well, not a negative horrible joke, but a silly funny joke. If this is too difficult, then do a Funny Walk whenever nobody is looking. Like a Super Ridiculous Walk like the Monty Python sketch, or just a ridiculous little Dance. Dancing is good too. And if someone DOES catch you doing it, just laugh it off, or be like yeah so WHAT I’m Dancing, and then that will make them happier, and it will make you happier too.

*This Dance Like A Ridiculous Retard While You Walk is one of the bset Protip Bullet points I’ve given all Month. It is so easy to do, and So Effective. Some of the Highest Return On Investment I’ve ever discovered.

* Making Silly, Stupid FACES in the Mirror is another thing in that same vein.

i THINK it was this one, Charles Smith of “Bastyr University”

Was listening to some Naturalpath Osteopath or something give a talk on “Depression” and he made the important point that Some People Are Just More RESILIENT than others. Some people can have the worst luck in the world and just keep choo chooing along, whereas other people get one bad thing and then they crumble and give up.

obviously we are more like the weak one, and we want to be more like the strong one!

And Again, I’m much more concerned with the How can we be more like that, rather that Why Are We The Way We Are. Don’t Care.

link to sapolsky

Great Talk by Prof Sapolsky of Stanford, very good lecture, with a lot on the Biochemical Basis of “Depression”, and its Psychological Aspects as well. Wish he had a whole Course on this. Had too many good points to mention. Just check it out. examples:

some people bounce back after 2 or 3 hardships, but after 4 or 5 hardships or depressions, then the littlest thing can put them into a depression

norepinephrine is associated with “psychosomatic exhaustion”, dopamine associated with lack of pleasure, and serotonin with “obsessive grief.”

I personally don’t get too “griefy”, just angry and exhausted and distracted and hateful and hopeless.

The idea of cortisol and stress and stress hormone and glucocorticoids, and how your body and brain are in a Constant State of Stress, so of course you have no energy and can’t concentrate and don’t like anything.

People with Cancer can find that the Cancer makes them stronger or teaches a lesson or makes life more meaningful, makes them grateful for the power of Family, power of love, etc; but “Depression” makes it impossible for you to get any meaning out of anything.

Heh. though it’s hard for me to imagine how getting Cancer would also not make you “depressed”, and then you get a double whammy. Heh. I am a total cancerphobe, if I got cancer, I would Totally Give Up, might even K myself.

So now I am doing 10 mg of Paxil, up from 5 mg (daily), trying to work my way back up to 20 mg. Cause frankly there hasn’t been noticeable difference going down to 5. I think I was protesting the Pharmaceutical Complex, Corporate Greed, etc, but I am DESPERATE again to try to clear my mind and actually Do Work, not be hateful and tired and distracted all the time.

Trying to see my “shrink” once every 2 weeks.

Working a TEENSY bit of Jogging into my Brisk Powerwalks. Just a Minute here and there to say I did, get the heart rate up a little, burn off a little anger and hatred.

“But I don’t WAAANNNNAAAA get a Masters Degree just to gettajob! I hate college!” whined the little baby.

Heh. We Amerifats make such a big deal out of EDUCAAAAATION but since COLLEGE is the only education that matters, and a whole generation is going BROKE just to go to college, then….heh just abolish all education altogether, education is stupid, gay, and worthless. don’t even have public high schools then.

yeah just very frustrating. can’t even think productively. can’t problem solve, the brain doesn’t work anymore, can’t read, can’t study, can’t do homework, all I can do is lay there and watch Bela Tarr films, hahahahaha.

* get “creative” or at least unorthodox with your resume. if it hasn’t gotten you a good job by age 30, well you don’t have much to lose by trying something different, like listing your ACT score or your IQ or your bona fides from high school, back before you sh4t the bed. Maybe bring it down to size 9 font and .5 inch margins and just PACK IN as MUCH stuff as possible, like every single job ever. I used to think White Space / Blank Space was good and that Hiring Gods did not want to squint to read small print. But that obviously hasn’t worked out for me!

* Although I still think you should at least bold your NAME.

* Hire an Artist to write your resume in real fancy calligraphy. Or just print it out in the cursive handwriting font, HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

* just like you should be Lifting and Praying every day, you should be doing Silly Dancing for at LEAST 10 minutes a day. in front of a mirror so you can see yourself. Just act like a total retard for 10 solid minutes every day ever. This is SUCH a great idea. Make playlists of good Dancing Songs you can do it to.

I might move away from movie reviews and possibly start ANOTHER seperate blog for Movie Reviews, but I will briefly say I recently watched “The Turin Horse” and it might be my movie O’ the year 2013, hahaha. Bela Tarr at his bleakest. The opening scene is classic and needs to be shared throughout the world, AND also I think it perfectly encapsulates what Real Lazy Losers feel every day, in the depths of their “Depression”:


Great music too!


saturday july 6 2013

heh. HOW DOES pastebin have enough room and filenames to NEVER DELETE the thousands of pastes that get added every minute? gotta start saving muh 4chan threads to the computere. and then obv backing them up on a Cloud Solution.

* Get a Dropbox account and use it to Back Up your favorite most important files every couple months or so.  I use it to back up my 4chan junk, tons of pictures, my BOOKMARKS (back up your bookmarks!), backup xml files of muh Blogs in case somebody reports them to wordpress and they get deleted.

* Listen to GRATEFUL DEAD concerts from the 70s and 80s. This music will chill you out and make you happier GUARANTEED. If they sound bad on one show, just find another show. they had some off nights. go to spotify, there are a million shows. go to, there are a million shows to download. these aint the days of tape trading no mo.  Was just listening to spotify and then “brokedown palace” came on and KILLED me! It doesn’t even MATTER if they’re a bunch of wasted burnouts who rarely hit the right notes when singing backup harmonies! (that song is kinda SAD, but “Beautiful sad”, makes you want to weep, because you think you might be a Beautiful Person underneath all the hate, anger, and failure)

* note to self: this band “Furthur” featuring Bob Weir and Phil Lesh is prob the closest thing you will see to the Dead in 2013. Pretty sure “The Other Ones” and “The Dead” are done. Not sure.

Actually Weir and Lesh are looking and sounding VERY well for 70 year old “burnouts”, hahahaha. I’d see them!

ok NOT a Music blog! But Going to see a Furthur show would probably lift your spirits.

* how about this: because the employer is probably not RECORDING you VERBATIM during your interview, they have a lesser chance of Officially Background Checking the “facts” you VERBALLY mention in your interview, versus the “facts” you’re serving up on a silver platter, in writing, in your ResCL.

* TELL BIGGER LIES DURING YOUR INTERVIEW because they’re less likely to check them, you’re less likely to get fired in the future for them.

* Gap in employment? Tell them you were traveling the country visiting relatives, EVEN IF YOU WEREN’T.

* Dropped out of school? Tell them you are Reevaluating your Goals, and Reorientating and Repurposing your Personal Brand. Reinventing yourself, making yourself better and stronger. Cutting a Bad Investment, Starting a better investment.

* They ask about some program/technology you never even heard of? Say Yes I’m Somewhat Familiar with that. I know the Basics. Because you can go online and LEARN the basics before you even start the job.

* If you admit to needing TRAINING, you will NOT get the job. NO Employer wants to TRAIN you, because they are huge balllicking, child-molesting, family-abandoning, satanic, zombie, vampire, soulless, godless, ungodly rat faggot f00ks. So don’t think you can’t be a lying troll when you interview for these dishonest, lying, throw you under the bus faggots!

* If you can’t find vidyas or tutorials online, then just show up and wing it as best you can, and ask someone who’s not your manager that you forgot how to do such and such, Your System Looked A Little Different But I Swear I’ve Used This Before.

* Order a background check FOR YOURSELF and then just use THAT information so you never get one month off or something. it will EMPOWER you just to be LOOKING at the full background check, seeing What The Employergodfag sees.

* tell them you are super loyal and want to work with their company for 50 years and you will never leave and never try to move up and cost the company more money. you don’t have the ambition to move up or out because the sweet $10 an hour upper working class fulltime entry level office job is your dream job 4ever.

break time

honey nut feelios










* when you leave the company for a better job, give your boss a big black Brutal Dildo ™ and a big bottle of Vaseline to show him what a Huge Faggot he is. Then make fun of him for being a CUCKOLD with a FAT HAMBEAST WIFE who CHEATS on him because he doesn’t make enough MONEY, and he molests his son too, faggot cuckold.

* A “College Job” or “Bachelors Degree Job” might be best defined as a job where all your coworkers have Bachelors Degrees. And most of the people are Fulltime. And you probably have UNdergrad Unpaid Interns. Your BOSS, however, prob has a faggy masters degree. MBA or MSA or sommat.

* Okay. I’m actually gonna start Writing Out The Script that You can use on your CL and actually in the interview itself.

* “I am experienced at an elementary level with Fukufagu Scheduling Software. I can successfully complete everyday tasks. I am training independently to advance my skills from elementary to intermediate, and hope to reap the rewards of this education into tangible results for this organization!”

(to be used when they ask you about blabla software, Enterprise Resource Management Software, BASF, ASF, I forgot the name of it……SAP. SAP is what I’m thinking of. And you have maybe HEARD of the software but never actually used it. Well guess what, you aren’t gonna get PAID to be TRAINED on it. So just LIE and TRAIN YOURSELF secretly.)

* The worst that could happen would be, they lay you off because you’re not as good at the program as they thought. Then supplicate before them like a total niceguy faggot so you can squeeze some Unemployment out of them.

* Coming in early and leaving late will help with this. Unless it’s a Salary Job where you HAVE to work 80 hours a week, no overtime over 40 hours, to get the job done, or you’re fired. with no unemployment. Maybe. Not Sure!

* but otherwise, DEFINITELY try to come in early and leave late. like 15 minutes early and 15 minutes late. so they get half an hour of free work from you a day. 5$ of your 10$ job. 2 and half hours of free work a week. maybe bump it up to 3. but make sure your manager SEES you coming in LIKE A BOSS early, or else this is wasted.

* your reward for this is not getting fired.

* of course, maybe you’ll get fired because your work is too GOOD and you make everyone else Look Bad. I guess some places are like that. Never been able to get one of those jobs though.

*Join The Navy Officer Candidate School.

* heh. “It Gets Better” is the worst slogan ever. It does NOT get better unless you MAKE it get better.

* The good news however, is that Little Changes can make a Big Impact. Ripple Effect. So do something Little, not something Big. Something Little is better than Nothing at all.


july 4 2013 yaaaayyy yaaaayyyyy | Explain the first time you realized you weren’t a normalfag. | archived from 4chan /r9k/ – ROBOT9000

heh that one is bretty self explanatory.

so when did you realize YOU were not a normalfag?

I, the author, am prob MORE normalfag than r9k. I can find stuff to appreciate about normalfags and don’t just see the negative side of normalfags like r9kers do. They say normalfags are stupid, selfish, shallow sheep, that relationships are cold, calculating transactions, that women are evil wh0res. I say: well yeah Conformity is generally important to normalfags and alot of them like some real stupid sh1t. But I envy many Normalfags for their ability to Work Hard, Accompllish Goals, Have Goals, not be Angry and Hateful all the time, getting stuff done, not being parasites, gainfully employed, trying hard, following through, growing up, being mature, having Meaningful Relationships, having children, starting families, having Careers, not dropping the spaghetti, etc. I see healthy, happy, well-rounded people, and wish I could be more like that. Many r9ks would disagree with me, and certainly most v9ks!

(I realize there are many other chans, many of them have their own version of r9k, perhaps I should Cite Them more.


(I generally enjoy 4 chon, but I don’t want them raiding or trolling me)

ok for example I took 5 minutes and found a 4chon r9k post on College General, College Advice, what to do and what not to do when you Go To College and don’t want to end up a Neet Virgin Loser.

(4chon has their own archive but in case that link 404s, here is a pastebin of it:


And then you will be a winner with a good job and QTs and never have to read my blog or r9ks.

so yeah it’s really not brain surgery. if you’re a morally defective lazy loser with something deeply wrong with you, you won’t hack it, you’ll fail, you’ll get deeper in a rut, and by the time you’re 30, you’ll be a huge loser, and the people you went to college with will be huge winners.


SO NOW WHAT. LIFT. PRAY. go for a POWERWALK. Get some SUN. Bribe people with pizza parties to get you a sweet $10 an hour upper working class fulltime office cubicle job, and then you can at least tell your family that you’re working forty hours a week, Get the F off me, you’re not some part time working lazy layabout. If the job is Spiritually Draining, then just be thankful you have a job, and then smoke w33d and LIFT. And a Man can prob be as old as 40 and still bang 18 year old QTs! So that’s one good thing about being a man!

i might have contradicted myself several times there, heh. ok don’t smoke w33d more than once a week. but you can LIFT every day. well, different muscle groups of course, pulling a muscle will just push you back.

* Some Normalfag Winners use “college dropout” pejoratively and incorrectly, for someone who’s taking a Well-Advised HIATUS from School to Regroup and Replan and come back Stronger Than Ever. That is not a DROPOUT. That is a HIATUS.  A dropout is someone who FLUNKS out with bad grades, is KICKED out, or just STOPS GOING in the MIDDLE of the semester, not someone who soldiers through to the END of a semester and THEN takes a Hiatus!

* If it’s Too Late For Me To Succeed, I feeeeel I can still succeed by HELPING young men who are in the position I was in, and turn THEM from losers into winners. Keep One young man from killing himself, help one young man Floundering through College to find A Way, and then a few years later, he’s working and making money and getting QTs and feeeeeeling haaaaaappy and then he sez THANKS I Never Thought I’d get out of that alive! And I’ll say, GLAD TO HELP! Now Pull some strings to get me hired at your job, and get your QT gurlfran to hook me up with her young 19 year old friends.





















“Why is moving out such a monumental task these days?”

general feels thread, how did yer first luv break your heart permanently and turn you into the failure loser neckbeard you are today, stories about b1tches be b1tches

requesting stories about getting Prostitutes/Escorts/Hookers/Paid Sex. German boasts of getting Attractive Girls at a Reasonable Price.

just learned about this site The Erotic Review

which is like a database of reviews and info about Escorts. Wowzers!

heh heh. here’s a goodun:

burning out mentally


can’t argue with that! hahaha. appealed to me because I talk about “burning out mentally” a lot. and feeeeeling “burned out.”

like a girl, she actually shows some interest, get nervous, have bad game, blow chance cuz grill doesn’t think you like her………….(or does she know you’re interested but she just cringes that you are so beta and unmasculine and faggy and unconfident and spaghetti)

^^^how kids become neets, parenting, tough love, motivation, epic ontology o’ neetage, 9/10

when your parents have the “we’d still love you if you’re gay” talk because they’ve never seen you with a grill

men of r9k: why do you hate women? hehehe nice.



Because they’re not hatefully angry at everything all the time, and can actually accomplish things in life.

1750 words. with a break in the middle!
july 1 monday 2013

[reel fast movie review, skip if desired cuz doesn’t really Fit The Mission of this Blog:
Kanal By Andrzej Wajda. Uhhh 6.5/10. Started off good, got a little slow towards the end, not as gay and boring as you’d think a movie from 1957 would be hahahaha. deals with the warsaw uprising of 1944. I prepped myself by watching the extras FIRST, then the actual movie. extras were good, a 27 minute thing on the making of, this was a 2003 interview with Wajda, his asst director on the film, and a Famous Polish Film Scholar. Second was a 27 minute interview of Wajda talking to some kind of Polish Ambassador in 2004 who was involved with the uprising. to put it in context. The Old Guy’s opinion was that the Warsaw Uprising slowed both the Germans and the Russians and somehow kept the Russian Army from taking ALL of Berlin and not just East Berlin. Not sure how. Kinda confusing. But the bottom line of Recent Polish History is that Poland was taking it up the A55 from BOTH sides, Germany to the West and Russia to the East, and Poland probably got screwed worse than any other country in WW2. Anyway. Warsaw Uprising is the Polish Home Army “militarily” fighting the Germans trying to occupy Warsaw, but “politically” also fighting the Russians, who were right at the doorstep. The vistula River. Russians coulda jumped in and saved the day, saved the Poles from getting murdered by the Germans, but the Russians preferred to just sit there and “bleed the poles to death.” NOT sure if there was still a Russian-German Nonaggression Pact in 1944 like there was earlier in the war.]

kids taking calc 2 or 3 over the summer. sweet baby jesus. I hate them because I envy them, that they can do this without RAGING out. One of the TOP Things I Hate right now is Good Students. I Hate People Who Don’t HATE Everything like I do. I hate Students who can diligently do their 10 hours of Hard Math HW a day during the 1/6 of the year it’s actually NICE outside, because they’re Good Students with a Good Work Ethic, and I Hate them because I Envy Them for their Good Attitude and Work Ethic which I don’t have but I wish I had, so I hate them…well, I don’t really hate THEM, I ENVY them, and I hate that I am not like them.


* Heh. WHAT WOULD IT TAKE for me to Productively, Chillly do Calc 5 and Orgo 6 over the summer…..think about it…..yes a Nice Radiant QT Prime Of Youth 19 Year Old College Gurlfran to Make Out With after doing Stupid Problems for 10 hours a day, to be cute and 19 years old and say Oh Good For You, I knew you could do it, now let’s cuddle as I rub my 19 year old body over you and you exclusively, and next month we can slowly upgrade to the next level of intensity, because I’m a Nice Girl, I only do One Base Per Month, bla bla bla bla bla



I have determined that the best thing I can do regarding my HATE and ANGER towards SKOOL is to Beg For Mercy and Help from a College Counselor/Advisor. Make an appointment, show them my transcripts, say PLEASE can you HALP ME, I am really burning out here, what’s the quickest way for me to get an Upper Working Class 10$ an hour job already, I am sick of school, I need a little DIRECTION at least, can you PLEASE I BEG YOU give me a little direction, O GOD PLEASE HELP ME, I really HATE SKOOL at this point, but I’m SMART I SWEAR, just my lack of focus, work ethic, and my bad attitude and my hate and anger are really making it real HARD for me to use the good brain the lord gave me. Got the Brains, but the Feels get in the way. Got a lot of brains, but got a LOT of Feels too. TOO many feels. Oh Sweet Baby Jesus Hammercy On Me!

And maybe they can “connect the dots”, and say oh you’re real close to this this and this, so think about these 3 options, rather than the 9000000000 “options” out there right now.

*So, Brethren Losers, do yourself a favor and see your own College Counselor. Even if they ARE “Useless”, they can’t possibly be HURTFUL, especially if you’re at Rock Bottom right now as it is!









. born to feel








* another thing that MIGHT help is Learning College Study / “Survival” Skills, like a Programmed Method for Taking Notes and Studying. Because you never really learned these things in high school, because high school was way easier, now college is way harder. well, not like psychology class, but like fooking organic chemisty and biochemistry and calculus and thermodynamics and statics and plastics and mechanics and stuff like that, where some psychotic 4sshole instructor shouldn’t have a job. Maybe take classes like these at the Community College if you can. Since those instructors don’t really Do Research, then Theoretically they need to be able To Teach. Theoretically. Although I can tell you a lot of them don’t know how to teach either. Anyway, there are tons of books on this type of stuff: “becoming a master student”, “how to study in college” by pauk, the Cornell Note Taking Method, the right vs the wrong way to do flashcards, etc.

So find the people who CAN help you (counselors maybe, tutors maybe) and talk to them and beg them for help because you’re at the end of your rope.

When they say maybe you should go to a shrink too, tell em YEAH YEAH, I’m going to a shrink, why don’t YOU go to a shrink, hahahahaha. No, they probably WON’T tell you to go to a shrink, and they DEF won’t tell you to K yourself like 4chan would. It’s their Masters Degree Lower Middle Class JOB to HELP YOU. And besides it’s paid for by the OBSCENELY GENOCIDALLY OVERPRICED TUITION. YOU are their BOSS. THEY are accountable to YOU, who pays their salary. MAKE THEM WORK FOR IT.

I guess don’t be super hostile to them, or super emo. Just gently let them know you’re Not In A Good Place right now, and you really need some Help Plox. And that aint no lie!

(I am trying to pump myself up to make an Appointment with a College Counselor, if you couldn’t tell)

And I would guess that it’s in These People’s Job Descriptions to be NICE. Nicer than some f4gg0t INSTRUCTOR I’m sure! Those Who Can’t DO, TEACH! (Unless they really WANT to Teach, then they may be good teachers I guess.) These Counselors Probably WANT to HELP you! Let them HELP you! Go to them and say, ” I’m kinda pretty much near the end of my rope here, I really need some Guidance. Help Me Determine My Next Step. ”

Anyway. Their Job is to Help You, so Make Them Do Their Job. I really HATED going to the Academic Counselor because I was STUBBORN and I was also SCARED. Don’t make the same mistake I did. I should have probably visited the counselor at least two times per semester. Got as MUCH outside help as I could, rather than as LITTLE.

* Being CONFUSED about where your LIFE is going is a BIG cause of ANGER. Maybe if you get a little HELP with this, you will be LESS ANGRY AND HATEFUL, and you already KNOW that will help you in all aspects of your life. Like LIFTING. or PRAYING. Less Anger/Hate will make you Better and Stronger and Smarter.

* Although if you follow My plan, you start the First Day of College with your Major Declared (Electrical, Mechanical, Computer, Biomedical, Chemical Engineering) and know what classes you’re gonna take and what profs you’re gonna stalk and what internships you’re gonna get, for every semester, and every summer, from day 1. THEN maybe you can get away with visiting the advisor once a semester, instead of once a MONTH, once a month would be ideal for lazy layabouts who don’t know what they’re doing and thus shouldn’t even be Away At College in the FIRST place.

* If you are Privileged Enough to be Away At A Big College, then Visit your Advisor once a month, every month, even if you think you don’t need to.

* Also, visit a Psychological Counselor / Shrink at least once a month, even if you don’t think you need to. Do it ANYWAY, to make sure you aren’t developing any bad habits, like anger or hatred or alcohol or drugs or laziness. It’s their job to keep you on track. To make you better and stronger. Heck if you don’t visit them now, you’ll just end up visiting them LATER, when you REALLY need it, once you’ve REALLY hit rock bottom, and you’re reading r9k and v9k and My Blog, and thinking about Ending It All because you’re a Huge Neet Loser Virgin who still wants to bang College Girls, but has even LESS of a chance now that you’re Creepy and Fat and Old. So Go On Spring Break like I said last post. The Ugliest of the Young Drunken State College girls will be hotter than the Average 35 year old Real World Bar Skanks With Kids. No Contest!

* Heh. Neet semi-wizards like us view Sex in a Very Big Picture Sense: Normalfags get sex. Women get sex. But we Beta, Omega, Wizard Virgins do NOT get Sex, or Cuddling, or Hugging, Or Handholding, Or GFs, or makeouts, or anything like that. So Women are essentially just Normalfags then. I know my Target Audience! I have good enough social skills to have S with a Drunk 5/10 Woman….BUT I HAVE IMPOSSIBLY HIGH STANDARDS, hahahaha. Besides, I HATE skool, careers, and normalfags too much to ever fully BE a normalfag. Normalfags don’t have this much HATE, and it’s ultimately my HATE that keeps me from Succeeding in Skool, Career, Women, and Life.

* So I suppose the goal is….. BECOME A NORMALFAG. A Happy, Healthy, Handholding, Gurlfran-having Normalfag, who is able to Set Skool and Career and Relship Goals and Reach Them without raging out or giving up.