july 1

shit. i hate that you just cant be an ok people person. you gotta be a MASTER people person just to get a 10 DAH job or get some fat slut. if you have the SLIGHTEST anxiety or autism or awkwardness…..1% is as bad as 100%. 2 is as bad as 10 hahaha. all or nothing. no in between.

you have to be all or nothing because the WORLD is all or nothing. jobs, women, life, hahaha.

sometimes  while browsing the indeed list you find a job thats SO GOOD you HAVE to apply for it RIGHT NAO. So go ahead and do that. thats a good thing. like i found one today: day shift, full time, mailroom clerk for large IP law firm. Dayum.

using A Spreadsheet and a Stopwatch to calculate the Exact Average of how long it takes me to do a Job Application.

with 3 down so far, the average is 15 minutes. has varied from 6 to 27 minutes.

this is actually making it slightly more interesting. maybe this is a holdover from my stupid job, where all our calls were timed and we could see a dashboard of how many calls we had each day, average time of calls, total time IN, etc.

i kinda liked improving my numbers. also it gave me some Hard Numbers. of course it also allows the company to Measure More and to crack the whip harder. 20 minutes average call time? get it down to 19 and we save 1 million dollars a year and can give execs moar bonuses and cut more people from YOUR department!

but in general i think the stopwatch is a great idea for THIS, muh job SEARCH, and getting a handle on exactly HOW long it takes to do EACH application, and what a reasonable number of apps per day is. i have been shooting for 8 but that’s cetainly low. but HOW low?

ok well my average is now at 17 minutes. thats with short ones and annoyingly long ones. only have 6 so far. i figure 100 might be a better sample size.

not that i havent already done over 210!!! 232 as a matter of fact. hehe.

today had a first, applied to USAJOBS, something for the army. FEDGOV hehehehehe.

17$ DAH job working with like army kids? child care technician? well in the FEDGOV they make 17 bucks an hour with bennies. GS 04 or some shit.

SO i figured that 5% of applications will get an interview. 1 out of 20. i mean that is ABOUT what its actually been. about 10 interviews for 200 applications.

well REALLY its 9 interviews for 230 applications hahahahahahahaha. but NO, cuz when I HAD the 9th interview last week, I had only about 200 apps in.

ok, so 9/200.

SO, assuming about 5% chance of an interview, it is THEN safe to assume that 5% of INTERVIEWS will result in a JOB. THEREFORE, you have to put in about 400 applications, therefore get 20 interviews, in order for you to get 1 job.

so shoot for 400 applications.

about ABOUT 20 minutes per application, that is 133 hours.

and that is 3.25 weeks of Full Time Work hehehehehe.

and right now I am showing 17 minutes per application, not 20.

why the hell didnt i start measuring this in a spreadsheet EARLIER?

because when you Train Yourself, it takes you MONTHS to stumble on things that a Trainer would show you right away. Best Practices. Best Practices do not always come quickly.

and this is a pretty obvious no brainer. use a spreadsheet as a tracking system to measure Metrics. its not exactly out of left field.


this guy does not seem super smart but he is a manly white man who carries a Glock hehehe and doesnt want his qt white gf associating with trash. cuz her friends are trash and her family is trash and she gets the attention of blacks hehehe but she miraculously is not a huge slut. so says the boifran hahaha.

i know that feel, that woman was CLOSE to trash but she was not herself really trashy. she didnt want to be trash so she dumped her trashy friends. i hate to think she thought of ME as TRASH.

well at least TRASH can WORK!!!!!

july 2

horry sheet, interview with the company i have submitted like 14 applications to this year and i NEVER thought they would interview me for anything more than a 9 dah pt job….has invited me to an interview for like a 32k to 46k FT job hahahaha.  so, doing that on thursday. afternoon of courshe hahahaha.

BIG reach here, but……it was kind of a reach just to get the interview!

They are interviewing at least 5 people.

I would prefer something a little less……involved, because I might be better qualified for something Lower, have a better chance of getting it.

I do know the application here had like 5 short answer questions that probably scared all the CASUALS and PUNTERS away hahahaha.

and made the Application Time like 30 minutes instead of 15 hehehe.

what was the manager doing sending emails at 10 30 pm on the friday of Fourth of July Weekend? why wasnt he out of town with his family?

this place has a Unionized Workforce and I thought they were serious about muh 40 hours and not a second more hehehehe.

well there are ways around that, you simply PUNCH OUT THEN KEEP WORKING hehehehehe.

how common is this? for people who want to make themselves look like they do more in 40 hours than they do? really for OT Exempt people its not an issue. then you just work 80 hours for the price of 40 as a general rule hahaha.

i am somewhat interested in the Goth Subculture, but its also kidna degenerate and the women are SLUTS. VERY high number. but they might be willing to help weak sissy beta guys gain experience and confidence in banging bitches, which is always good.

yes, bang those disgusting degenerate high number whores, just for EXPERIENCE and CONFIDENCE. THEN you will have a better chance at getting the women you DO want. there’s a reason they call them PRACTICE gurls. And you can’t get a Decent Woman without PRACTICE. Like like you can’t Win the Championship Game without PRACTICE.

just Wrap It Up and try not to lie too much. like don’t tell the gurl you’re in luv with her, OR that you will marry her, OR that you want a Real Relationship with her. It’s Only About The Casual Secs baby, whatsamatter, dont you think secs is FUN, ya prude?

but yeah i dont think there are any gothic gurls under 30.

also goths like phaggots and nihilism and drugs and are not masculine and all.

i would approach Goth in a way that championed Traditional Victorian Values, and wears a lot of black, and likes melancholy shit, but thats really about all. While also still being Masculine and promoting Morality and Family and Traditional Gender Roles.

at the same time i like gurls who are not super duper girly. That Woman was feminine but she was not super duper girly. in that she was chilled out and laid back and not into Drama. But she kinda was. at the end she couldn’t get out of the drama.

i dont mind minor drama, but major drama needs to be dealt with. women are so attracted to drama that they dont even want to deal with major drama, they just run away from it if its too much. leaving people in the LURCH.

they need a MAN to pull them out of the drama. And I was not man enough. shit i was CAUSING the drama. i didnt know how to FINISH it. well, i DID know that we PROBABLY needed to confront it and talk about it, and she didnt want to do that.

all the more reason I need to MAN UP and say THIS ENDS NOW and MADE her talk to me hehehehe.

so yeah. BIG interview thursday, one of the biggest. the manager has been working there for 12 years and is a (former?) CPA but this job is more in “systems.” he does not have a masters degree but does/did have a CPA and that is about as hardcore as a masters degree hehehehe. fookin tryhard.

applied for job as AP clerk for company, took 23 minutes, brought average up to 16 minutes hahahaha.

i only have 8 jobs in that spreadsheet, i suppose if i had all 230 jobs, it would be a more valid/accurate number.

lets just say the shorter the better. i would like it to be closer to 15 than to 30.

in 1980 it didn’t take you 16 minutes to do a job application (well maybe it did.)

but for DAMN SURE in 1980 you didnt have to do 400 job applications before you found a job!

but its good i have an interview for next week, i didn’t have one this past week. want to have 1 or ideally TWO eery week.

had a dream with THAT WOMAN last night, as i recall it was pretty long but i still dont remember much other than i was spending the night with her, but she was mad at me and we were arguing and i was sleeping on the couch or something. i was scared she was gonna LEAVE ME, that she wasnt willing to work this out. , that she had just Had Enough, it wasnt worth saving to her.

and of course that was what happened! but this dream at least pretended that we were actually Going Out.

I was also starting to care about her family. Cared about her single mother who had a possibly rough life but she was at least a good mother and probably a good person. cared about her brother and sister who seemed really nice and were not promiscuous degenerate drug addicts, they did not even smoke MJ. they just lived clean decent nice lives. Cared about her extended family who she told me about.

and now all of THOSE people were ripped out of my life too, her telling me you’re not allowed to care about them any more, you’re done with ALL of us.

so that was an extra element which made things even more painful. I felt closer to her because I felt I kinda knew her family. again, not something i normally do with women.

she had an older family member who was not in good shape and that was causing her a lot of stress and worry at the same time as our thing fell apart. i felt guilty for Bothering her during such a difficult time. But I cared about the family member too! I shared her pain somewhat! and if she thinks it was all a Ploy to Get Dat Ass, she couldnt be MORE wrong!!!!!!!!

but i totally lost my frame and became weak and supplicating and BEGGING. I should have taken the FRAME of the MAN who COMMANDS respect….not a pvssy weakling who BEGS for respect! you put the foot down and say THIS IS HOW ITS GONNA BE.

hmmm this qt young gurl (7-8 years younger than me, very cute and nice, low number, she got married tho, like at age 22, well good for her hahaha.) sent ME a linkedin connect today and i accepted it. I had seen HER many times but did not ask to connect with her because she might think its creepy i was stalking her. well she is way more successful than me anyway. good career in health admin and is being promoted, moving up, didnt even get a damn masters degree, works with a bunch of other qt young women.  its hard to imagine they will become hambeasts when they are 40 like so many other women.

but they might not also become loving wives and mothers and just continue riding the coch carousel, so yeah, part of that is not becoming a hambeast. gotta look good to pull the alphamost coch. fat hambeasts can only pull thugingras hahahha. i hope SHE becomes a fat hambeast. her mother didnt unfort. her mother still looks bangable. i should bang her mother in horribly degrading ways hahahahahahahaha

heh i set up a 50 cent monthly dnation to bernard chapin. lets see if HE complains about the dnation being too small hahaha. i really dont think he will. he is not that kind of guy tho. I wish he had found a good wife and become a father though. its SAD that at 46 he has Accepted he will always be a MGTOW. he is coming out with his new book “man going his own way.” I mock MGTOW’s now, but not too long ago, I considered myself a mgtow, and uncle bern is the best example of the best of mgtow. he is a very good honorable man and THATS why he needs to stop being a mgtow and become a father! hes not race aware enough, let alone 1488. well, i will stop my dnation if he ever has a keeid with a nonwhite or advocates race mixing hahaha, which i dont think he will.




yeah definitely the tea is a lot better on muh stomach than the coffee.

what if she came back to me 2 years from now and had a bastard kid in tow where the father did not pay child support at all? and she looked older and more haggard?

well maybe i would make her my fook buddy but i probably couldnt respect her enough to fall in luv with her.

OR would i rekindle the old feelings. probably hahahahaha. i can ALWAYS rekindle old feelings. i never had a woman come back like that! well woman2 came back after like a few MONTHS to apologize to me, which i appreciated a lot! but nothing like they came BACK 2 years later and wanted to fook!

i saw woman2012 like 6 months later and talked to her for a few minutes, kept it together, but i was NOT happy about it, and also she was NOT changing her mind! i have never experienced a woman changing their mind about that, like yes yes yes yes i was wrong i really want to date you now! oh i wanted them to! i fantasized abotu it! but it never happened.

course i never thought i could fall in love after a long time, with a platonic friend!

course i thought i would never luv a slut again!

when is a lesson not a lesson?

i think its a lesson to not luv sluts. it’s NOT ANOTHER lesson to go back after that and “learn how to luv sluts again”. not an actual lesson. because luving sluts will burn you EVERY TIME.

theres no actual scientific advice on how do you get over someone. i dont want bullshit fake advice from Female Journalists who are mostly crazy super high mileage sociopathic sluts. they are either eating men or getting eaten by men. very adversarial relationships. incapable of a healthy rel. and youre gonna take advice from THEM. NO.

i want the type of scientific advice given by a damn MEDICAL DOCTOR. not some psychologist who believes nothing is right or wrong. but somebody who believes in TRUTH. not somebody who believes truth is always relative and is an Oppressive Myth.

TRUTH IS AN OPPRESSIVE MYTH, these people say, who break hearts and throw people away like garbage. hmmmm. they are monstrous. dont listen to them.

is that an ad hominem fallacy? dont believe what they say because they are horrible people? because horrible people cant make even one valid argument?


there is this tv show “the carbonaro effect” where a charming young magician does ridiculous magic tricks to prank random people. the real Teaching Moment comes in the RIDICULOUS LINE OF BULLSHIT that he is constantly spewing. i may have mentioned this before, but his Art Of Bullshit is top notch. he can fool grizzled cynics with his bullshit. and he could most certainly get Nonsluts into Bed. notice some PUA types also encourage doing Magic Tricks to impress bitches. because they are very susceptible to Clever Tricks.

Well, My six month rule is IMPREGNABLE to Clever Tricks, because it takes no cleverness whatsoever to know whether youve known a guy for 6 months! even THE DUMBEST WOMAN IN THE WORLD is able to EASILY figure out whether its been six months or not.

(my ideal woman would wait 1 year. 6 months represents a disappointing concession for me.)

but i recommend watching him because his bullshit is AMAZING. and any man could benefit from that.

not just in banging sluts, but in handling all sorts of social situations. he’s never banging sluts. he might even be GAY. he talks to men 50% of the time and they fall for his bullshit too! but if he were straight i am sure he gets his FILL of tail.

heh. i wish i had ANOTHER female friend to talk to about stupid women bullshit.

well in 2005 when i had all this drama with women, i had female friends i could talk to. it sounds shitty to say they didnt help at all. they helped a little! but im not certain they helped a LOT though. they did the best they could though. i aint hatin.

you think a Career Education Center opening in The Urban Ghetto is gonna make a difference? i just dont have that IDEALISM. I guess if they help even ONE PERSON turn their life around, then it’s made a difference right?

well i would like to see them help MORE than ONE person. cuz it takes like at least 200 grand a year to run a place like that. lemme see their budget. lot of OVERHEAD in an operation like that.

I will meet with you one on one for 8 bucks an hour! or 50 bucks an 8 hour day hahahaha

did i write about the Life Coaches that Elliott Rodger had near the end of his life? they were young attractive people employed by like counseling agencies or shrinks, to go out with Rodger and help him socialize, talk to him, boost up his Social Confidence, etc.

i thought that would be a SWEET job for me to have, then i wondered if you had to have a masters degree to do it. it sounded like the people he worked with were College Age, ie, pre-bachelors. but maybe you have to be a social normalfag in order to do such a job.

well i would address that elephant right away: you might prefer to hire normalfags, but i say its just as valuable to have someone whos BEEN there. actually knows the pain these loveless virgins are feeling.

look up life coach on indeed. see a “life skills specialist II” that just needs a bachelors degree.

i am looking for job titles and quals basically.

life skills coach, peer recovery coach, recovery coach, success coach, health coach, transformation coach, wellness coach, nutrition coach, group home worker, development coach, job coach.

part time life skills coach, 16 hours a week, 10.50 DAH. yep hahahahaha and only 30 miles away! well, 28.

anyway i believe that its not a matter of educating people so they know how to interview to get jobs……..its the SUPPLY of jobs in the first place. the better solution is NOT educating people, but CREATING JOBS.

i think the only types of jobs where there is a SURPLUS of JOBS, is like SUPER technical STEM shit, where you need like a STEM Masters degree at LEAST. like a masters of mechanical engineering, not a masters of biology. protip: biology is not STEM.

but i wouldnt judge you if you thought it was! when i first learned that biology was not STEM, i was SHOCKED!

i mean TECHNICALLY it is, but in terms of jobs, its not.

hiring a coach to mentor and coach less senior team members. see my company would do that only hire people who KNEW LESS than the less senior team members, to coach them.

hire a TEACHER to teach students, who knows LESS than the students. this is what people get ACTUAL, REAL jobs for.


good god almighty, have mercy on us and on the whole world.

i will never understand why companies will hire Outside people for Senior Positions rather than promoting from within. that is IMHO an ADMISSION OF GUILT. that is admitting “YES I ADMIT OUR COMPANY (CULTURE) IS SHIT.”

yep it took me over 30 years to recognize that my anxiety is a pretty big deal, i used to think Depression was my main problem, but Anxiety is up there, way up there, its either 50 50 or 55 45.

which means that when you are not anxious, you are hopeless and have no confidence.

i think of my “relative high”, like say july 2014, before i fell in luv with female former friend, was doing my job. i wasn’t SUPER confident or charming or fun or awesome. i was still anxious abotu my job every day. i still had very low confidence. things still kinda sucked and i had no energy. now they just suck a lot more!

welp second walkjog, got up to 6 miles today. not bad. actually about 6.1 or 6.2 hahahaha.

ok heres the questions you need to learn, that I need to learn.

  1. whats the deal with your secret boyfriend? (do you have a boyfriend)
  2. how do you feel about me?
  3. i dont have feelings for you right now, but given our situation, i could probably have feelings for you in a few months. lets have this discussion every three months. or i will let you know as soon as i get feelings. and you let me know as soon as you get feelings.
  4. can we talk soon, i would prefer to hang out and talk one on one in person, but i have to talk about something important soon with you, and will do it on phone or email if we cannot me. WE NEED TO TALK. SOON. ITS IMPORDENT.


ok start with hookers, then LEVEL UP to nonhooker sluts, then LEVEL UP to nonhooker nonsluts. decent women.

normal men just start off with nonhooker sluts when they are teenagers. they dont ever really NEED hookers until they are 40 years old and want to cheat on their fat hambeast wives with some fast young tail and are more than happy to pay for the convenience.

>tfw approaching 40 and no fat hambeast wife to cheat on hahahahaha

heh. it is funny that something can mean SO MUCH TO YOU, and that same moment means nothing to the person “sharing” it with you. SO CLOSE, YET SO FAR.

good old one sided luv. when gurls have one sided luv for a guy tho at least the guy gets some SECS out of it and it lasts longer, than when the guy has one sided luv for a gurl. then theres not even any making out.

hehe. all the damn advice columns say, welp, if doing this doesnt help, then go see a shrink. so what do the shrinks do then? nothing mysterious. they have you TALK about it and they try to have to do more or less the same things the article says, and have you try to retrain your thinking.

shit i have been seeing a shrink since…..2008 and i cant say its helped a LOT. it doesnt HURT though.

really the main things that would help me is a just a tolerable 15DAHJ and a 1 year monog rel with a decent woman. especially the latter!

always the sense that i COULD HAVE made this work, if i hadnt screwed one thing up. so where was the one pivotal thing that i screwed up?

its hard to get out of that. and to accept that theres NOTHING I COULD HAVE DONE to make it work because she didnt HAVE the feelings. or if she did, she didnt have them any MORE.

its just july2014 that will haunt me, which was Peak Niceness from her to me, where i really got a signal from her. but i wasnt sure if it was like liking, or just friendliness. she always was really friendly to me. until i started liking her, then she pulled away from me like the plague.

are rels supposed to be be god damn pulling teeth every step of the way? i thought they were supposed to start somewhat naturally and easily. like our friendship did. then when we ran into problems i wanted to fight to fix it, she would rather walk away. damn son. i said lets communicate with each other about this, lets not be angry at each other, she said nothing and walked away. damn. the last woman i will ever luv hahahahaha.

and that is how i became one of those lonely 45 year old bachelors.

now that i think of it, before i met gurls and started falling in luv with them, i knew NO gurls and just felt alone and lonely.

part of this is due to not having a real connection with male friends. so i could strengthen those.

but yeah. women never have trouble finding a man. men very often have trouble finding women. then your married friends say O I KNOW THIS GREAT GURL 4 U and set you up on a blind date with a 40 year old single mom hambeast whos also cray cray, degenerate, and just godawful in every way. and you think, THIS IS WHAT YOU THINK OF ME?????!?!?!?!?!?! im super dupe desperate but not even the worlds most desperate man could ever be THIS desperate!!!!!!!


may 1

heh. when you see people that are well-adjusted normalfags, they remind you of how Different and Weird you are. It’s not that they don’t WORK HARD, indeed they do, but the hard work doesn’t kill them the way it kills us.

What doesn’t kill them makes them stronger, what doesn’t kill us makes us weaker.

hehehehehe. nice.

so yeah. i can’t stop thinking, is globalization necessary? do we really have to accept it or die? what’s the best way to accept it? how do we survive in the global world? what if we don’t want to get masters degrees or be leftists?

but still, the MUCH more imporatnt question is, how do we push ourselves to WORK HARD and BE SUCCESSFUL? cuz everything follows from that: good job, good wimmin, nice life, nice neighborhood, can provide for your children and have them be as successful as you, etc. doesn’t mean you have to live in a million dollar mcmansion!

just need to instill the values of Work Hard and Never Give Up in your children.

Because I don’t want to Work Hard, and I have essentially Given Up.

how about you?

heh. obviously it is time for my 3.2 mile powerwalk. the negative thoughts are creepin.

may 2

well i took the pwalk but continued to have neg thoughts about the job, about letting new job slip away, how i’ll never have an opportunity that good, and what if i don’t get to go back to my current job, PLUS getting a layoff this long every year is SIMPLY UNACCEPTABLE, and not sustainable for an adult. all because i didn’t want to go thru the stress of learning a New Job???!?!?!?!?!?!

so then i took some nyquil at seven pm and slept it off. feel a teensy bit better today but not full of energy or anything. not particularly employable hehehe.

i guess the good news is that i can fake my way through practically any interview, with the help of my One Sheeter. always bring a One Sheeter with you to an interview, dress up nice, and talk like a smart person. write smartguy sentences on your one sheeter and just memorize and regurgitate, like reading a script.

we need to become like ninjas, like Covert Ops WARRIORS, whatever kind of Clandestine Warrior Imagery you like. Jedi. Black Ops. Navy Seals. Strong and Disciplined. for the cause of our our survival in Work and Wimmin. Yeah, Wimmin SUCK, but we do need them to mate, because the Long Term is Important, and Family is Important. That is kinda a First Principle of this Blog which is gonna turn away a lot of people who don’t agree, who think children and family are not important.

well, how can you not say the Long Term is not important? Most men do have an interest in the Long Term even if they don’t have an overt interest in having children.

also, most men have an interest in having S with cute young wimmin, even if they don’t have an overt interest in Getting Long Term Screwed by Wimmin.

you could prob get away with taking nyquil on a work night, if you took it the SECOND you clocked out. because nyquil stays in your system like 16 hours, and if you are groggy the next day at work, then you get fired for bad performance, or at least get scolded and abused, or have a nervous breakdown, if you’re not performing well because you must be mentally SHARP as a TACK, and nyquil will definitely slow you down.

it IS exhausting to try to be SHARP for a mere 40 hours a week! for the remaining hours of the week, you just want to shut your mind down with massive quantities of w33d!!!!!!

annihilate your mind with physical pleasures and stupefiers! unplug your brain and destroy your brain, kill your brain! give yourself your own homemade electroshock treatment to reboot your brain! or give yourself a lobotomy!

that kind of thing.

of course it may well be a dui offense to drive with an open bottle of nyquil in your car!

or theoretically fire up a big fat Bowl immediately upon getting into your car. but that of course is even more risky, and of course w33d will impact your ability to drive. but that commute time is essential, if it could be converted into Lobotomy Tiem, that would be ideal! so i am sure lots of people DO fire up a huge bowl the instant they get in their car. not officially recommending it though.

was thinking i could have been a good “Economics” major. yes, econ is a useless degree, but is it any more useless than “business administration?” I think econ is better! more intelligent! but who is more employable, biz admin or econ? given a Completely Average, NonElite University?

well, if you get an Econ and Math double major, or become a QUANT or Quantitative Economics (or is it Quantitative Finance???) then that is solid. money. very employable, very good, alpha career job, attractive wimmin.

if you have an older brother, pump him for a job. if you don’t, oh well. if you ARE the older brother, but you’re the loser, and your younger brother is the winner, then pump your younger brother for a job.

if you get a chance to have S with an unattractive wimmin, maybe just go ahead and TRY it, just to experience ANY kind of S with any nonhooker woman. you probably won’t LOVE it, but you might not HATE it as much as you think, and it might pave the way for S with more attractive wimmin later. and you won’t have to worry about regretting passing up the “opportunity”. it will be a character builder, a learning experience, something to talk and write about. so just do it. but don’t get sucked into dating her! that’s what you REALLY want to avoid!


apr 29

COPING. COPING SKILLS. HOW 2 COPE W LIFE. yes, that is a big part of this Blog. lot of losers never learn how to cope, so they Fall Apart at the Smallest Sign Of Stress. heh. sound familiar?

i guess ideally parents would teach Coping Skills to their Chirren. Well I certainly can’t say my family didn’t TRY. They TRIED very hard, but I didn’t learn. I was bound and determined not to listen to them, and thus became a loser. action, reaction. action, consequences. paying my karmic debt. penance. sentence. do the crime, do the time.

heh. i might actually be working up the desire to go to a strip club and get my yearly lap dance, hehehe.

heh. i think this donald sterling is being Railroaded for his racist comments. it is all part of an OBVIOUS SCAM on the part of his Jilted Mistress to help Magic Johnson buy the team at Dirt Cheep Prices. Or somebody else wants to buy the team Cheep. Mistress is Bored with the Bentleys and now wants to take the whole team.

And there is so much news on what a bad guy sterling is. Heh. Well, that would make me 6000000000000000000000000 times worse, I can assure you! Because I try not to drive through Black Neighborhoods! Although I do get along with the Blacks at my Job just fine.

note that there is NO press on Sterling being J’ish, in fact, we are just supposed to ASSUME he is White. If it came to light that he was J’ish, then the media response would be, SAME THING as White, J’ish IS white.

but is it really???!?!?!?!?! IMHO there are important differences.

heh i should get an RX for buspar lickety split and just take that all day at the job.

also prozac. i am not in love with the paxil. so note to self, get rx for prozac, and buspar, and give em a TRY.

continue drinking nyquil when able.

found the facebook of a gurl i thought was cute a few years ago, then forgot about. she is still doable, decent body, great t1ts, no babbys, but she has started wearing WAY TOO MUCH makeup, even though she is older, she would still look better with less makeup. come on. and i would rather bang her younger sister hehehehe. maybe if i had gotten to the gurl when she was 18. rather than 28. remember my mantra: GIVE HER TEN YEARS. heh. well she’s prob a decent person so I would try not to Hurt Her Feeeeeeeelings, but I certainly wouldn’t marry her.

google “donald sterling did nothing wrong” hehehe not getting much.

maybe a stress relieving HERB like….melatonin or valerian root or kava kava or ginseng or god knows what. i used to take f00kloads of st johns wort for “depression” but after giving that the college try and finding it not working, upgraded to the big leagues of ssris.


apr 30

oy vey. so back and forth on this new job idea. now we are in official phone tag phase. i called them yesterday “before lunch” and left a nice message saying please call back. was expecting secretary/gatekeeper to call me back to schedule a tour, 1 minute phone call, Eazy Peazy Lemon Squeezy, not DIFFICULT DIFFICULT LEMON DIFFICULT. (name that movie.) mah friend describes it as kind of a disorganized clusterf00k place, herding cats, etc, and that would be my job, is herding the cats, untangling everything.

and that is something they don’t teach you in school, is when you have several people above you, telling you different things, sometimes contradictory things. who do you listen to, what do you do? who’s right and who’s wrong? i would say whatever fixes the immediate problem the quickest AND OR comes from the person who is Officially Highest on the Org Chart. Most Official Power. Cuz a person might be higher up than you but not be your Boss Per Se.

heh. teach that in skool, skoolfags.

not sure the best way to spin that in an interview if they ask about that. uhh you spin yourself as the hero who communicated with everyone and got everyone to reach a consensus. consensus builder.

lot of anger and tension regarding Work and the World of Work hehehehe. either I run out of the room crying, or do a Ragequit. it is amazing I can make a normal sounding phone call, amazing that I survived 3 full months without incident, indeed, as a pretty good model employee! So There! Suck It! Never Forget!

So yeah I do overreact and magnify and amplify in my mind a lot, and you probably do too, it is a classic Cognitive Distortion that is a big part of our Horribly Negative Thinking and Attitude.

20% of men get sex. 20% of men have banged an attractive wimmin. 20% of men have their choice of wimmin and are banging several at a time, having a HAREM. 80% of men are betas, lives of quiet desperation, have never had a harem, never had a choice in wimmin, never banged an attractive, beggars can’t be choosers, they take table scraps and sloppy seconds because it’s the best they can get, if even that. they relieve their s’ual frustration through pr0n, strippers, and regular whacking off. if they get married, it is to a fat hambeast with kids from alpha males.

so what do you do? I guess you should consider incoporating Whacking Off as a part of PErsonal HEALTH and FITNESS. especially regarding real women preferably over porn, using Strippers and Prostitutes. Work on your health in this way, and you might develop your Alpha Muscles, and be Masculine and Alpha enough to Enter The 20%, and Bang Actual Attractive Wimmin. HYPERGAMY.


thurs march 6

get a large White Board and then write the things you have To Do on it, so you don’t forget, and can update and erase the list as necessary. put it on the wall in your room.

good gamblers MAKE money. Bad gamblers LOSE money. People with Gambling Problems lose a LOT of money. Right now I am Losing Money, and about to cross the rubicon of losing more money than I would really like; losing money FASTER than I like.  On Micro Stakes! This is like 5 and 10 cent blinds! max buyin of 10 dollars!

fri march 7

ok new plan, just move back to one table, because i like to play around on internet, and two tables is too distracting, and that distraction translates to stupid bets and losing money.

got social plans for two days in a row, good lord, i am thankful not to be a friendless neet virgin. anyway use your friendz as your job counselors, tell them everything about your job search, get them to tell you everything, and come up with some ideas that may help you get a new job. because you spend 90% of your life at your job and less than 10% with your friendz. you see your coworkers much more than you see your friends and family.

i cannot believe this is because of the free market or capitalism; one should be able to have capitalism without excessive “corporate greed” and superrich plutocrats. although many of the superrich ARE entitled to their money.

I suppose Family Business would be the ideal solution, just like Homeschool. This would be the logical next step after homeschool.

found a place locally that sells silver bullion, try to check it out over the weekend, little further away than I would like, would like someplace only half as far away. but prob worth checking out once just for the curiosity.

looking back to one mere week ago, I cannot believe that I used to do what I did. staying busy, taking calls like a madman, running around. now I can barely get out of bed and accomplish one task, any of these tasks being simple and fun and nonstressful, 9000000000x times less stressful than any one task i used to do many times a day at my job.

in other words, i am fully reverted back to being an EXTREMELY lazy loser, in only one week!

does anything really matter, hehehe. i should be adding value to the world, not navel gazing and Talking About Myself all the time. talk about scientific research, talk about how to Create Jobs. Be An Ideas Man.

How to Pull Pvssy. Tell Women to Get Over Here and Sit on Your C0ck. (i like how the 0 looks just like an o!)

Also: Bend Over For My C0ck. Or, Suck My C0ck NOW.

Hey Baby, Wanna get F00ked?

Or, Sext me a video of you spreading your Buttcheeks. Wanna see your face in there too.

that sort of thing. just try it.

remember a woman cannot be both a Good Girl AND a Filthy Wh0re whenever she wants. And if a woman wants to be a Filthy Wh0re sometimes, then she should be giving some of that up to you. It’s not Women being Filthy Whores that I have a problem with; It’s women being Filthy Wh0res and saying, NO, YOU can’t have any of this, AND you can’t call me a Filthy Wh0re, AND you have to approve of me being a Filthy Wh0re to OTHER men, AND you have to agree that I will be very marriageable after all those c0x.


In other words, in an ideal world, Beta Males like Us would have EASY ACCESS to Slutty Women for Easy Sex. Just call up that Slutty Girl, she gives it up to ANYONE.

Well if you knew even ONE slutty (and attractive!) gurl, you would have done that YEARS ago! But you don’t KNOW any of the Known Sluts! The only Women you know, if ANY, are Completely Hideous Hambeasts, that you could NEVER get it up to!

heh. just needed a break from talking about jobs and careers. and myself. heh.

ANYWAY. perhaps my DREAM is to sit in the bed and play poker and look at the internet and listen to music. that sounds GREAT actually. with a midday nap of course, and a powerwalk every day, and a new 18yo qt erry night.and the ones i like i will call back on the reg.

what can i teach you. i guess i like teaching but i would not want to be A Teacher, F that S.  I still like the idea of being a Tutor, but that’s like for Lazy Teachers, and there’s no FullTime Tutor Jobs, and if there were, they would be viewed as losers. Tutors get such a bad rap, Tutors are NOT losers. TEACHERS are Losers. Suck Mah D, Teachers. I would LOVE to bang a young woman teacher straight out of Undergrad and in her first Teaching Job. Or more likely, a Subbing Job. Unless they went to Harvard. Bang them too. Bang Bang Bang. Hey, they can obsess about their careers all they want, but that doesn’t keep them from being The Ones Who GET Banged.  The Men who Bang You don’t give a DAMN about your career, they only care that you’re young, hot, and spreading.

Heh. My Anti-Woman writing is GREAT, I gotta do more of that.

I don’t HATE any woman, even the slutz; I just have no respect for young hot women who slut it up. and even less respect when they don’t include ME in their slutting it up. Weak. Gay. Go F00k Yourself.

There are even some women I LIKE; such as the Blessed Virgin Mary; and I’ve had a few actual female Friends in my life. It does kind of suck that there’s no real Public Well Known Women who are good Role Models, that I could just mention as examples. There are more cool Male Celebrities than Cool Female Celebrities.


I might have already HAD a post with that title. Still, it’s important enough of a Point, that I could prob just change the name of this blog to that!

nov 29 2013, fri, 2:01pm

YEP  fully enjoying “Thanksgiving Vacation”, sleeping in, time off, relaxing, R and R, great times, here I can really do some serious Blog Work. like schedule posts every day so there isn’t such a huge backlog. and sit in bed and drink coffee and give you a Live Post of 1000 words right off the top of muh head, in one fell swoop, playing a few poker hands in here as well.

Again, I would be doing youtube videos, just talking to yall, but again, my Voice would IDENTIFY me even more than these words, and I want to be Anonymous atm. I will de-anonymize for no less than 40 grand a year. For the next 30 years. at least.

had thanksgiving dinner with the fam, tried to analyze a case history of The Working Class Family. Adults can get a decent Upper Working Class Fulltime Job right out of high school and continue working it for 20+ years. Nowadays the younger Millennial Gen can’t get that, and the only full timers are Old people who have been there 20+ years, trying to hold on to their jobs, while the company is trying to squeeze them out with Young Kid Part Timers making 8 bucks an hour.

Adults in their 50s who are completely Not Into the College Career Cult. Because they didn’t have to be. Meanwhile I’m actively HOSTILE towards it, because I’ve experienced it, and can see how bad it really sucks.


So one way to do it is to find a Big Govt Agency that hires part-time seasonal workers, then do that, then HOPE you get hired in to Permanent Part Time, then HOPE you get hired it as Full Time. Not sure how long that would take, or if you could improve your chances with Good Performance. Why would you? that would make too much sense!

Then I laid awake thinking of everyone I know who has gotten married. I thought of Men and Women and Careers and Families and the State of the Nation 2013. I thought about who invented the word “CAREER.” When did CAREERS become a thing, and when did JOBS become such a Loser thing?

Especially when JOBS are so hard to come by….let alone CAREERS!

I was invited to a Huge Thanksgiving Party and there will be people there I do want to see and people there I don’t want to see. Heh. Ideally I would just see the people I DO want to see, and in a much smaller non-party situation. at the same time I don’t want to insult the host, who is a great guy, who I DO like, hehehe. I would prefer NOT to go in muh gut, but I wonder if it would be Good Karma for me to make a brief appearance.

Women LOVE careers. They love careers more than they like men. Women are the biggest True Believers in The College Career Cult. They LOVE it. If you’re a man who’s not Huge On Career, to Women, that’s admittance of you being Proud to be A Loser. They can find PLENTY of Career-Oriented Men in their Own Careers! (see great recent HEartiste article about “THE CORPORATE CAREER HAREM”!!)

And with that comes the Raft of Everything else that appeals to College-Educated Women: Left-Leaning Media, Big Government Worship, Democrat Worship, Career Worship, College Worship, Atheism Worship, Change for the Sake of Change, Feminism, Daily Show, MSNBC, Blatantly Choosing Career Over Family/Children. How are the CHILDREN of these women going to turn out?

And then I thought, even though I have these strong opinions, it doesn’t really lead me to any solid answers. The best I got was, hope I am making a Good Living by Age 40, in the Middle Of Muh Career, MAYBE age 50, and THEN find a young VIRTUOUS woman to have children with. Love and attraction would be VERY secondary; Virtuous/Moral/Good MOTHER would be PRIMARY. then have Children and try to not be senile by the time they’re 18. And at least 3 children would be ideal.

Heh. I’m DONE with CAREERS, I’m DONE with WOMEN.

A Full Time JOB is more than sufficient for me, and My Women have to be OK with that, and not WORSHIP THE FALSE GOD of Career being The Most Important Thing In Life.



The Careers Day poster they rejected
The Careers Day poster they rejected (Photo credit: Alun Salt)

Warning: When I talk about Being Against Women and Careers, it’s more Marketing/Business/HR/PR/Advertising/Media type careers rather than STEM Careers………..obviously. STEM careers are a lot better than Business Careers hehehehehe. Get a Health Care Career if you want a Career so bad, and leave Business to the Men. Not that Women can’t DO business as good as men do, but because Business kinda RUINS Women, just like taking too Many D’s can ruin a woman. It crushes their natural Feminine Beauty.

Heh heh. Of course it must be muh Hateful Sexist Attitude that is making me an Unhappy Loser who is not having success with Career and Women.

One last thing. Wizardchan makes (or USED to make, several months ago) a big deal out of banning people who weren’t STRICTLY Virgins. My target audience is much wider and inclusive. I will totally take Nonvirgins. You just have to be Unhappy with the Quality or Quantity of Women you’ve pulled thus far. Maybe a huge Drought of 1, 2, 5, 10 years. Maybe you’ve only had S with one or two women. And they were all Hideous Hambeasts. Or Hookers.

Come one, come all. I am going to help you Sow Your Wild Oats Once and For All. I am going to help you get Sex On The Reg with Attractive Women. Although they might not be Virtuous Women, and they might be closer to 30 than to 20, heh heh.