wed oct 11

feb 26

looking for a full concert of maiden with good sound quality and hopefully good video, and from the last 5-10 years. this seems promising. nicko looks terrible but is playing great. bruce is very high energy. steve harris is very high energy and i love his aggressive attack on the bass. i think its so lame when bass players use a Pick and i am glad he has never done that.  wow bruce has more energy at 55 years old than i do at a somewhat younger age hahahaha.

nearly 2 hour set. i hope they take a break in the middle hahahaha. they deserve it. god damn why did i miss maiden in 2016? or was in 2015? i was in a terrible state in 15 but seeing them would def lift my spirits. lifts muh spirits just watching this vid.

i dont even mind that bruce uses a few too many f bombs during his banter. hes excited. i would be too. not a bad way to be, being bruce. bruce almighty hahahahaha. no i didnt come up with that, thats a well known term of endearment for bruce in the community.

thats the other great thing about maiden fans, is the very strong sense of community, camaraderie, that i dont really see as much with a band like priest.

maiden fans are best fans hahahaha.  i would be glad to be part of that group.

GEORGE Feels may be going on hiatus as announced in his brand new “goodbye” video. left him another comment, 2 comments in 2 days hahahaha. again tried to express my support for him, and best wishes, and that he is welcome to email me. i think it would be good to get away from youtube, that has got to be draining and stressful. that is like me going on youtube and talking about UFMLL shit and showing my face. i could never do that. i need the comfort level of just being faceless words with all comments closed. i mean i WOULD like to do speaking stuff at some point because i think speaking is better than writing, but i just dont know the best way to do this. maybe a “lighter” and less TMI version of this blog and i certainly wouldnt show my face?

there are so many Old Rockers with long hair. now long hair is great but the hard truth of life is, like half of men lose their hair. therefore, its probably many of these guys are taking rogaine or some shit. i would almost rather they just go bald. you can always grow your remaining hair long and be all bald on top hahahaha.

19.9 BMI. this probably means i am not fat hahahahaha. i mean not in shape enough to attract a women because i have too many other deficits, but i am not doing it for women, i am doing it for myself, and kinda for my RACE. it does not BEFIT a decent hwyte man to be FAT.

sheeeeit got onto another slippery slope today cuz i thought i was above it. looked up the company which i heard That Woman worked at as of around summer 2016. found they basically have one headquarters which would be the building in the area she would work at. found a xmas holidays photo of the company, xmas 2016 time, with like 50 people in group photo in the foyer or whatever. on company facebook page. looked at the picture and tried to find her in there. found one woman that could be her but the picture is honestly a bit too fuzzy to tell. so i zoomed in 300 percent on this one woman and was like, is that her, or just a woman that kinda looks like her in a kinda fuzzy blown up photo? is her hair the right length and the right texture? would she wear something like that? i never saw her dress in anything “businessy” which it looked like some people were semi dressed up for the holiday party.

would she even be invited to the holiday party? do they have another office somewhere which they dont advertise where all the underlings work? would they invite her? is she an underling or not?

where we used to work we could essentially dress like slobs because we didnt face the customers, just phones. many people did dress like fat slobs. didnt really blame them, it was a soul crushing job and many people were stressed and depressed. i tried not to dress like a slob because i dont like doing that in general, but i didnt really rise to the level of “business casual” either. i mean you could wear jeans and hoodies and sneakers and tshirts. i never saw her dress up semi-nice for a semi-business work setting. im sure she would look beautiful hahahahahahahahaha.

now im tempted to look at the picture for a third time to convince myself its NOT her. i dont even know that she still works there. maybe the guy who told me got the company wrong. got it confused with a different person or a diff company. maybe if she did work there, she left before december 2016. maybe she wasnt at that event or in that picture. again, there was only the one person out of 50 who even remotely looked like her. not a high res picture, at a distance, to capture a large group of people.

i also went through a few of there recent youtube videos to see if i could hear her voice talking on the presentations. i did not.

i did not spend too much time doing all of this, when i realized, this is a god damn slippery slope that is worse than that pseudo-porno i looked at the other day with mattress gurl hahahahaha.

now im still tempted. because i want to prove its NOT her. or do i REALLY want to prove it IS her?

the WORST CASE scenario would be to do some google and facebook and instagram and okcupid stalking on her actual NAME. maybe i would find shes actually working somewhere else. maybe i would find that she is dead. good lord.

anyway, its good that i didnt spend too much time on that, and i should NOT try anything else of the sort.

i usually make burgers in the oven. nice big third pound burgers. then put them in the freezer and take one out the night before i plan eating it. they are big protein filled burgers. I also freeze them with the bun, each in a baggie. i scrape off a large part of the bun to make it as thin as possible without falling apart, because the wheaty joo is about the most useless food ever, full of empty goddamn calories. but i still want some sort of bun on muh burger or sammich. so i feel these Thin Buns are the perfect solution. i mean i have been doing this for a few months and the pounds have been melting off. i am the thinnest i have been since i was like 21. damn. so i am happy and grateful and proud about that at least.

but i am getting sick of burgers so i decided i was in the mood for a Meatball Sub. so i made a bunch of nice sized 2.5 oz meatballs in the oven. got some mini sub buns, total wheat joo here, and scraped them down until they were much thinner. put on 2.5 of the 2.5 oz meatballs on. which is like 6.2 oz of pure glorious beef, by far my favorite miracle superfood. put a small amount of cheese on and some tomato sauce. trying to mimic the classic subway meatball sub. it turned out pretty good but kinda messy. i will glady eat the rest of them all up. ate one today and made 5 more, put them in the freezer. freeze them with the buns and the cheese, but will put the tomato sauce on them later, when i heat them up, just cuz the sauce is the messiest part. the meatballs themselves came out really good and will def make again. 2.5 to 3 oz balls. usually use 80 20 beef but when i went to the store they only had 72 25 beef. not a problem, i do like the animal fat. gives flavor and its good for you hahahaha. of course there is a decent amount of melted fat in the pan when im done so i drain it, but of course some still seeps into the beef, which is fine by me. makes for nice juicy beef.

so that was nice. the sub buns were stupid thick so i had to scrape a lot of bread off them. literally scraping worthless calories away. compare to the beef, which i consider to be not worthless calories at all. worthwhile.

had social event last night. never go to these, so i rarely get invited, but this time i said nope i gonna do it, it would be a nice signal by me. took valium before going out to bar. was pretty nervous. got in there and then things were pretty ok. people were surprised but pleasantly so that i came out. i said i was happy to come, i would like to come to more of these things, i just dont like loud bars on saturday night, so thats why i dont come out every week or every month hahaha. but i will drink soda and cheer you on for karaoke and celebrate all the good stuff going on.

so yeah that was ultimately a very positive thing. i hate bars because they are so loud and crowded, and if somebody talks to me, i can never understand what they are saying cuz its so loud, and other people dont seem to have problem shouting conversations in loud bars, but i sure do. but i might be overestimating this, and they know its loud, and they dont EXPECT to have an in depth conversation while loud karaoke is going on, so you just have fun watching that. and i do generally like karaoke. its a fun thing that makes drinking fun hahaha. ive done it before when i was raging drunk and it was pretty fun.

never did it when not drinking. i would kinda like to, but also very nervous and doubtful. cant pick a bad song. got to study some people there and saw good and bad songs. most were actually good. i didnt know many of the country songs but they still seemed like good karaoke songs.

you have to pick a song shorter than 4 minutes, it has to be a song most people know, it has to be a fun kinda song people can sing while drinking.

i had a few candidates i’ve mentioned recently: danzig mother, dio holy diver, would love to do some maiden but i cant do god damn 14 minute rime of the ancient mariner. leaning towards children of the damned but that is kind of a deep cut. maybe hallowed be thy name but its too LONG. maybe seventh son but its too LONG, but it could work if i cut it in half, theres no singing in the second half anyway.

some drunk guy sang jewel foolish games, he had a good karaoke sense, also did drowning pool bodies and the titanic love song my heart will go on hahahaha. you have to have a sense of humor.

so my thought of meat loaf ill do antyhing for love IS a great candidate, and no one sang that.

i mean you cant go up there and sing burzum or darkthrone or shit.

pantera maybe. i hear walk is a semi popular karaoke song.

country songs about partying or drinking are good. sentimental songs about makin luv are good. one guy sang darius rucker who has a great voice but i dont know any of his post-hootie songs hahahaha. and i would want to sing a song i didnt KNOW! but if youre sloppy drunk, its not a problem.

one sloppy drunk woman did war pigs, which is a CLASSIC, GREAT, TOPKEK song……but a terrible choice for karaoke because its too long.

 

 

 

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YOU WANT TO HELP BUT YOU CAN ONLY HARM

feb 25

this is happening right now. quickly watched the speeches by Muh Woes, RZP, and Fat Forney. Woes was great and looked 600000 times more presentable than at NPI. he lost weight and was wearing a Dress Shirt and had a great speech where he mentioned the 14 words several times. MUH N1GG4.

RZP had a good speech where he showed himself to be very J aware and well read, though still maintaining his sense of humor. I just dont like 4 minute videos that are more jokes than substance. but he seems to be moving away from that. i resubbed to his channel after watching hahahaha.

Forney surprised me and had a great speech, getting passionate at times. he def gets mocked and and bullied by TRS but I thought his speech was really good. he mentioned his progression into becoming more pro-white than he was in the mala fide days (and I enjoyed IMF back in the day.) at this rate he is not far from potentially disavowing the more degenerate of his older books. still needs to lose weight though. maybe then a black suit would look better. but i am damn tempted to reinstate muh patreon dnation to him after this one. good job forney. give him a little credit on this.

oh god bless you george, i think he is making a breakthrough right now, at long last. he is developing a real sense of humor and confidence.

this is the video he’s referring to which he dd just previously.

I was moved to send him what I thought was a friendly and supporting message to encourage him on what seems to be a really positive turn for george. i really want to see him succeed because me and him are very very much alike, have fought with very very similar issues.

i think this is the correct song order.

saturday “morning”, the time is right for this maiden LIVE album. 1984 ish, the height of their game. regretting more and more not seeing them live on book of souls tour. hope there is a next time, maiden is now officially on The Concert Bucket List. Period.

one of my serious worries is that i will hurt people rather than help them, when I am coming at them with 6000000000% Good Faith and Will to help them. I want to help neets and losers and people like me and George. I very rarely reach out and communicate with these people. When I do, it’s only out of the will to support and encourage and help them. I would be absolutely devastated if my efforts had a NEGATIVE effect on them. I HATE being a BAD INFLUENCE on people, in short, because that’s the last thing I want to be. I want to be a GOOD influence on them.

but it’s hard because of my own issues, I CAN potentially be a negative influence on people without even trying, certainly without wanting. It DEVASTATED me to think i was a negative influence on That Woman and made her life worse, when she was a good influence on me and made my life better. I wanted to do the same thing to her.

thank GOD I am over that, but the same sentiment applies to anyone I know in real life. my few friends and acquaintances. i dont want to be a Toxic Person that they are better off cutting me out of their lives. and especially when I make an effort to be a supportive and friendly. I don’t want them to say, welp he means well but he’s just not good enough.

possibly even worse is if they DO take my input seriously, but then misunderstand it, misinterpret it, and do bad things. thankfully i dont really have any examples of that.

something in Woes’s video on milo, he had a tangent that mentioned that some men might want to be mentors and helpers to younger people. help and guide and improve them. But maybe the mentor is in such a shitty state that even though he WANTS to help, it would STILL be a BAD idea for the “mentee” to listen to them. meaning its BEST for you to NOT EVEN TRY TO HELP people, because when you TRY to HELP people, you just end up HURTING them. as someone who WANTS TO HELP people, this worry is very very very troubling indeed. which is prob why i don’t Reach Out to people who need help. and why I consciously distance myself from communicating directly with the intended audience of this blog – hwyte men who NEED HELP.

but also even more of a priority than helping others is helping MYSELF first. doctor cure thyself first hahahaha. but at the same time, i DO totally see myself as POTENTIALLY being helpful to others in similar positions, even though I’m not a full blown winner yet, and probably wont be until I am 50, if ever.

but I don’t want to totally BAN myself from EVEN TRYING TO HELP people. if the opportunity is there, I want to be able to do it, and actually succeed.

again, not a HUGE worry because it actually hasn’t happened. The closest thing i’ve actually experienced is having friends I really liked and respected, and wanting to improve their lives the way that they improved mine……and failing, because ultimately I wasn’t a “good fit” with them. like with That Woman.

or, 10 years ago, I was a total degenerate, drinking and MJ’ing and being a total punk loser, but I STILL had good friends. good, positive people. but I was the bad boy. they might have joked that I was a bad influence on them, corrupting the youth, turning younger kids into MJ heads or cynical nihilists. I knew they were partially joking, but I always worried about the kernel of truth there. I mean they didn’t Reject me and say get away from me you loser, so I realize I was probably more of a good influence than a bad influence. but even just the idea that I could be a bad influence at all. that really sits badly with me and is prob one of the more effective motivators to improve myself. but god damn that has been a long, long, long, slow baby steps struggle lasting well over 10 years and will prob last 20 years at least. bringing me WELL into the second half of my LIFE, which I am close to entering right now. god damn.

like it felt really good to Communicate with George just as he seems to be Turning His Life Around. then I got hit with the doubt that he might not need my help, not WANT my help, and just find me useless at best, and actively harmful at worst.

cuz i could see myself Helping People for a Living, and I would hate to be in that position and FAIL COMPLETELY at it. To want and try to help them, but just end up hurting them.

i know this is a very real thing for social workers and therapists and shrinks and teachers and people whose job it is to help people, who really WANT to help people. they end up taking shit too personally. it boils down to the fact that you can never MAKE someone do ANYTHING. you can lead the horse to water but cant make them drink. period. but you also cant HELP but take it personally when you’ve tried so hard to help them. its a similar situation with muh fam. they’ve tried so hard to help me……but nothing worked. thankfully I have made more of a conscious effort to “pay them back” for their valiant, heroic efforts, to send the message that even if i didn’t turn out too well, I still appreciate their heroic, self-sacrificing efforts. any other kid would have turned out to be a huge success, but i was always a bad seed i guess.

but thats a horrible view of muh self. i really really feel like a bad seed but, just like George, i do have a good side. it can just be REALLY HARD to FIND and to encourage in yourself. to feel the good dog and NOT feed the bad dog, to use that old very very very very TRUE cliche. I’ve fed the bad dog so much, i dont even know what the good dog looks like or where he is. the good dog has become an unknown unknown hahahahahaha. but thats not totally true, i know my good dog involves my desire to help people like i said above. and to be a nice moral person who wants to help people, to help children, to be a good person and not a lazy loser degenerate.

you totally can lose track of your good dog, not have contact with him for months or years. so it really IS an empowering thing to finally stumble upon the good dog again. but you gotta hold on to him, feed him, and not let him go. I am sort of doing this and George seems to finally have found his good dog for the first time in a while. maybe reminds me that I have a good dog in myself too, we ALL do. even fookin nonwhytes. but ESPECIALLY hwytes hahahahaha.

ok i have pre emptively moved this into the topkek posts page because these are very important points. serious shit. but i think i am done being serious today, so back to the SHITPOSTING hahahahaha.

was a pill popping maniac yesterday, which yes, IS degenerate. 3 valiums and 2 benedryls. crashed into bed around 130 am, having got up at 5am the previous day. slept pretty solidly to about 12pm and then have been eckbearding today….well sorta. watched some great yt vids, wrote a very nice thing to george, wrote a qualitypost above, so really the neckbearding starts now. but its already 4pm . feels more like 1 pm hahaha. this is what happens when you stay up late and get up late.

would like to do a powerwalk but it might be too cold out there, coldest its been all week. cold and windy. not a good comvo hahahah.

got a social thing today starting at the late hour of 10 pm. will prob take 1 valium before leaving. ideally would sing a good karaoke song. actually ideally i would find some degenerate at the bar and buy 20 dollars of MJ off him hahaha. its actually not impossible. also contribute 20 dollars of goodwill to the group bar tab as several achievements are being celebrated. and ive been wanting to go to more social events and not look like an aloof antisocial prick. i dont have to stay longer than 2 hours. no one is asking me to close down the bar, although the others prob will hahahaha.

hahaha it looks like well known swedish black metal band marduk is now being PROTESTED by ANTIFA on some 2017 US shows because they think they are NAZIS hahahaha. i have been on the fence about making an effort to see marduk. i mean i really SHOULD, im sure its a GREAT metal show,and ive never seen them, and have sorta wanted to for years. they have a good aesthetic of christraeping black metal and i like their brutal blasting and i like that their Aesthetic has become gradually more “FASCIST” over the years, that is much better than satanic bullshit. naturally the antifa see this and think they are nazis. Which i would be thrilled if they WERE! but now i’m hoping marduk doesnt CUCK and make a statement like “we are a nonpolitical band who is totally anti racist and anti fascist, we welcome fans of all races. we just like ww2 stuff in our Brutal Aesthetic.” i mean the same thing happened to SLAYER. i cant remember if they made any Cucky Walkback statements. Pretty weak to see Toughguy metal bands doing Cucky Tolerance and Diversity stuff. to my knowledge, marduk hasn’t said a damn word and I hope they keep it that way and just continue playing brutal shows and this makes me want to see them more.

my main problem with them is , i want to like them and i’ve TRIED to like them for YEARS, but its SO hard to sit through an entire album without getting bored. the best would be a greatest hits album or a greatest hits concert. i dont doubt the concerts are great. i really should go. but stay away from all the degenerate drug and alcohol nihilist metalheads. shit some TRVE FASCISM would give their lives some direction and make them MUCH better people.

or the antifa complained that morgan from marduk didn’t roundly condemn varg vikernes when varg was arrested about 3 years ago for hate speech or something (later charges were dropped thankfully.) morgan said thats good they were dropped, this is a ridiculous violation of freeze peach. of course antifa hate that. means youre supporting a neo nazi.

they even bring up the fact that supporting band on tour incantation had a Ebil Nazi in their band 15 years ago.  I have seen incantation live more than any other death metal band, they put on a GREAT show every time. most of their albums are boring though. except for the old ones with the nazi singer. he has an EXCELLENT voice. and yes he is pretty much a much biger nazi than marduk ever will be hahahaha. and i love it! I say good for him! i’m surprised he doesnt get more pushback. but his current band disma has been banned from tours recently. they dont even say racist stuff. they just have craig pillard with his best death metal vocals ever. I enjoyed their album. I luv pillard’s voice, one of muh fav DM singers. and i LUV that he LUVS HIS RACE OPENLY. I STAND WITH CRAIG PILLARD hahahahaha. If I ever see you craigy I will buy you lunch and try to have an important conversation about race with you hahahahaha.  but yeah i’m not much into death metal. just iron maiden and black metal hahahaha.  and ALWAYS open to alt right, pro hwyte, racist music. hard to find GOOD ones there tho. greyfield stray is explicity alt right and post on TRS  but they/he are….. alternative prog rock? I should try listening more.

ok go to grocery store at 8pm. checked the google maps for a drop off in busy time. prefer to go to store on fridays not saturdays but working normies HAVE to go on sat or sun. and god have mercy on the poor souls who have to WORK at the grocery store on the weekends!!!!!!

yeah i would luv to sc0re a 20 dolla thing of MJ from some guy at the bar hahahaha. i mean it is a good bar. pretty much explicitly hwyte. always comments about how there’s never any blacks and are blacks even ALLOWED here? so yeah its pretty much the best bar ever, but still all the hwytes get degenerately drunk and bang barsluts.

but it is tech fun to watch karaoke. just too stressful to be put on the spot and have people goading you to do karaoke when you dont have a good song prepared, and youre not raging drunk because you dont drink anymore, in contrast to all the people around you getting raging drunk and partying and having a great time.

oh shit the lyrics of iron maiden’s “run to the hills” are explicitly anti-white, written from the perspective of Natives who were killed by the evil white conquistadores from across the sea.  well that’s what im getting out of the lyrics i can discern.

well i’ll let it slide because i dont think this is indicative of where their beliefs are at, i think they were just kind of doing a fantasy LARP as natives, i don’t know WHY, but they dont seem to do it regularly, and also it’s a pretty overrated song, never one of my favorites, pretty forgettable as far as their hits go hahahaha. just dont do it again guys.

and on a whole, iron maidens lyrics have NEVER been really IDEOLOGICAL or POLITICAL. which I wouldnt have a problem if they were ideological in the right way hahahahaha.

i also have this fantasy, this hope, that maiden was less degenerate than other bands like priest. they didnt do as much coke, they didnt drink themselves stupid as much, they didnt bang as many filthy whores, they actually had enough pride to not perform sloppy concerts while fooked up on drugs and alcohol and half assing it for the working slobs paying to see a good show.

like when i was a young lad going to pantera concerts (wow does that make me feel OLD), they were often shitty drunk. i thought that was awesome, as I glorified the degen behavior they showed in their “watch it go” video, where they made being a drunk degenerate look like the most fun in the world.

to their credit the band still sounded tight as shit and i guess darrell was capable of playing perfectly despite having an 80% BAC hahahaha. but phil was always sloppy and fooking hostile hahahaha. he was not at his finest. of course i thought this made him a huge badass, but now i’m mature enough to realize its disrespectful to himself, his band, and the fans.

but yeah it was ultimately horrible for me to think that pantera was so cool the way they partied like degen animal N3GR0ES. I just didnt view it like that. it was more like, god damn its awesome and fun to be raging drunk as much as possible!!!!!!!!

i dont blame them for my own degeneracy…..but that was not a good example for me to be following. i really wish i knew better.

ok now looking for iron maiden tributes, pref with more “heavy” bands and less gay bands hahahaha. i would even listen to metallica doing tribute as long as they are not being super gay hahaha. the remember tomorrow cover does sound ok. i know opeth did a cover of this song too. never my fav maiden song to begin with hahaha.

there are some good bands in here like evoken and morgion for example. and angel corpse!!!! solitude aeternus is not bad. absu is ok, vital remains is probably listenable haha. i think i saw them live. probably with incantation hahahaha. who is of course the much better DM band and they should do some maiden covers.

morgion was a VERY UNDERRATED band and i would luv to see them come back. I discovered them when I was YOUNG and that was one of the better musical taste decisions I made at that age. the solinari album is a timeless classic.

homeowners insurance. zillow IMPLIES that it adds a pretty big amount to your monthly mortgage payment. do you HAVE to get the insurance? is it a complete jooish scam bullshit with no benefits, like CAR insurance, which i spent a decent amount of money on, but get NO benefit from it, even if, ESPECIALLY if i were to get in a car accident? im only buying the “cheapest”, most useless insurance, because i legally HAVE to, and it is a TERRIBLE deal. its very expensive and get no value out of it. getting SCREWED. this is why literally TONS of people just dont buy car insurance and drive without insurance. because they simply cant AFFORD the legal bare MINIMUM. is home insurance like that?

because i see a house for sale for 6000 dollars and im like hmmmm.

also i dont like the idea of this iron maidens female tribute band. the picture i saw showed an honestly VERY attractive white guitar player with her tits hanging out like a whore. it would be a lot better if they didnt dress all SEXY aka SLUTTY. that is not good for a hwyte woman to do. any woman really but hwyte women are MY women and I want to defend their honor and not have them throw it all away.

also do not trust women who play in bands. i used to think it was cool. like oh thats a Cool Chick. then i realized cool just meant crazy af and would prob have no problem throwing you away like a piece of garbage and being cold and cruel to you with crazy bullshit. but probably being very wild and secsy in the bedroom. dont stick your dick in crazy. ever. unless your heart is cold as ice and you are willing to throw her away before she throws you away. and its never good for people to throw people away. so just dont do it.

 

 

IRON MAIDEN EVERY DAY KEEPS THE DOCTOR AWAY

feb 22

milo resigning. i think i already mentioned this. as trs says, we didnt realize the MSM lugenpresse thought pedophilia was a bad thing hahahaha. i guess they hate rightists even MORE than they LUV joos and degeneracy! wow!

taing benedryl today, did not sleep well last night unfort. today got a new project, well, technically was reminded of an old project that i forgot about. basically i need to “Create Some Documentation” for this device that I dont know how to use, so I have to figure out how to use it, write up some FAQs and How Tos and Fact Sheet and a report or something. produce our own documentation on how to use this thing. i can def source heavily from the manufacturer. big part of it is also teaching myself how to use android and ios, which is hilarious that ive never owned a smart phone,. basically every random normie 80 IQ is an expert at android OR ios because every normie has a phone! i do not have a smart phone so all this is news to me.

i dont see the value in the device. i think its too expensive and no one uses it because no one knows how. well….other people in our office do, but we gotta essentially try to SELL IT to our “clients”, and i use these terms very loosely. i dont REALLY need to SELL this overpriced thing. weve already wasted the money on it. now we just gotta convince people to use it. which imho is tricky enough. and imho there is easier, cheaper ways of doing a similar thing. real weird position to have a budget to by Tech Toys no one really NEEDS and then convince them to get Value out of it hahaha. and i cant really tell muh manager yeah no ones gonna use this, just cancel our subscription when this year is up because its a waste of money. but i should try to find some Usage Stats and include that in my Report. be like hey this thing is being used once a year and its costing us 200 dollars a year.

basically just busywork makework, not really adding value. real adding value would be never buying the thing in the first place!

its just WEIRD to be in this position, never expected to be in a place that was this FLUSH with CASH to spend on shit you dont really need, rather than trying to CUT COSTS EVERYWHERE and sending people home early and doing away with Quality.  but thankfully The Union wont let them send people home early, guarantees people X number of hours a week.

i am still learning the basics, like how our department adds any value at all. why are we NEEDED. just fire everyone and we could still get out a low quality product. does quality really matter THAT much? was the bad lesson i learned from my prevous job.

and the answer obviously is, YES IT DOES, when your product means fixing broken shit, and you don’t fix it.

but here we’re not really fixing shit. we are basically window dressing on a product that could get by without us. it would be a lot less presentable, but it would prob still SELL, and would still WORK. its like buying a kia vs a cadillac. do our Customers really need Cadillacs? well they arent really paying cadillac prices though. so where the hell do we get this money? other departments get federal grants. we could very possibly get fed grants but i cant name them. always forget to ask about that. i should ask about it. show the manager that i care how shit is run hahahaha. not that i want to take his job, not that I COULD, but to show I Think Like A Leader.

ok did some more at-home work on muh job project. going to bed at 8 instead of 7 because 7 was too early yesterday. took 2 benedryls tho today: one at 3ish, another at 5ish.

George is up to video FIVE on his 20 minute q and a responses. he’s HAD to have answered my questions in there, mentioned me. I am SCARED to listen. I might give it a few more weeks till I am less scared. he can email me if he wants, he has muh topkek topsecret email.

GOOD GOD I got an email from GREG JOHNSON hahahahaha personally thanking me for a donation I gave in december. Actually TWO emails ten days apart. WTF do I even say to that. I quickly send him a blabbering message back saying no, thank YOU, hahaha. I was just surprised that he’d send me an email for a damn paltry 5 dollar donation! What a Top Goy!!!!

Greg Johnson. Grindr Greggy, sending ME an email, hahaha, thats just ridiculous. I dont even care if hes a gay hahahahaha. guy’s done some great, unimpeachable work, and he was one of the first people I read when getting into This Huhwyte thing.

feb 23

greg johnson. say what you will about his private life, but that was a very HUHWHYTE thing of him to do, thank widdle ol neet me for a goddam 5 dollar dnation. just for that I will visit CC for the first time in months, find a great new interview hes doing with kievsky, one of muh oldskool fav guys, and think seriously about getting gregs nice hwyte country book. he is a great writer in addition to a good speaker/conversationalist.

real good guy greg hahahaha. does anybody even remember that meme. its still a good meme.

steve bannon speaking at cpac. nice. i would like to hear alot more of bannon speaking. not because i’m suspicious of him, but i think i would really like him even more than i expected. but shit, if he is suspicious, id want to know about that too. i just hope he is a YUGE badass, and unfort we often forget he’s there. never forget!

HAVE YOU LISTENED TO YOUR DAILY DOSE OF IRON MAIDEN TODAY?

I was not joking when I said IRON MAIDEN EVERY DAY KEEPS THE DOCTOR AWAY. it IMPROVES YOUR HEALTH.

This was actually the second Maiden album I ever got, after “Powerslave.” I saw Killers in the used CD section and got it. Not sure if I realized Dianno was on it. at any rate, he sounds GREAT. it’s pointless to compare him and bruce. both are great. ok, bruce is better, but i don’t think bruce would have fit on this album, and I think dianno could have have a good effort on later maiden. he has a great, masculine voice, brings out the masculine energy of the music very well. more of a tough guy than bruce. i mean i hate to say he’s MORE masculine because bruce is pretty damn masculine.

havent listened enough to the debut but killers seems to be the way stronger dianno album.

and it more than accomplishes the Health Benefits of Maiden: ie, Upping Your Confidence. UP THE IRONS, UP YOUR CONFIDENCE. high-energy, feel-good, masculine, confident, pulse-pounding music that makes you feel very alive. hard rocking. no mopey navel gazing. no negative emotions. good vibes all around.

not that i dislike sad music at all! but i prob enjoy too MUCH of it, and need more Happy Music! and so do you!

there is NOTHING wrong with Dianno era maiden. would be great at the GYM for POWERLIFTING and POWER SPRINTS.

now i’m obsessing about this darn job-related documentation project. in a good way, I think. but yeah def spending a lot of TIME on it, outside of job, no less. people better be impressed hahahahaha. write me a good reference for this one. i dont feel super pressured, feel more like a detective on the verge of cracking the case. in other words, feel good not bad, thank GOD. ACTUALLY LEARNING something and figuring something out. It takes some struggling with the concepts though. But this is NORMAL. But I tell you, I REALLLLLLY hate struggling with something and NOT learning it, and remaining in a state of confusion. that was the bulk of my last job. it made me doubt my ability to LEARN things. i felt like I had a LEARNING DISABILITY. And thought shit, maybe I still DO have a learning disablity. from sm0king all that MJ, and drinking too much when I was young, and also from having a super confusing job for over a year, combined with a year and a half of mind-numbing NEETness. It’s amazing my brain still works AT ALL and that I could learn something as simple as 1+1. But today I learned something. Not something super complicated. pretty embarrassing i had to struggle for a whole day with such a simple concept. WELP THAT JUST PROVES IM AN IDIOT. Thankfully I don’t really feel that way. Well if they think I’m an idiot…..I mean I was name dropping Bunuel today in reference to Dali, and I actually knew this architect this other guy was talking about. if were a total idiot I wouldnt know these names hahahahahahaha. It might just take me a day to learn a very simple technical concept, like you don’t plug this thing into that thing, it won’t work correctly. And I wanted to work with TECHNOLOGY????!!?!?!?!?!?!!? I was actually pretty good at it though. but the LEARNING CURVE was absolutely BRUTAL and VERY hard to SURVIVE.

i cant overstate how bad that year and a half of neetness was for my brain. i mean i HATE FEELING LIKE AN IDIOT. I USED to be pretty smart, I SWEAR. PLEASE BELIEVE ME!!!!!

feb 24

please respond! please believe me! please give me the benefit of the doubt! please treat me like a human being! please! I beg you! im not an idiot and im not a weird monster!

hahahaha. ok weekend. obv would luv huge thing of you know what. degenerate. bbbbbut i just want to get it out of muh system. give me one big bag o degen and thats it for a good while.

so in protest i have taken a benedryl, will take 2 valium  and 1 more benedryl with about 2 hours in between each.

ooooh sventh son has done his first post doxing video with face. very nice. would like to see moar. tons of great banter in the comments about him not being hwyte hahahaha. he is even more charming when he shows his face hahaha.

heh. tfw you go to dailystormer for the first time in a few weeks and see he has an official tshirt so you have to buy it now. it’s not the greatest design but these campaigns are limited time only. hope he doesnt come out with a better design immediately after this one closes.

oh dear god hahahahahahahaha. his first video AFAIK directly addressing MGTOW. is MGTOW even a thing any more? kind of embarrassing that I identified with it….like FOUR YEARS AGO hahahaha. to be MGTOW in current year is simple naive at best and J at worst.  see the mgtows bitching at varg in the comments, you can see how pathetic mgtow is.

took valium 1 at 630 pm. settling in with coffee and water and no one at the poker tables, damn. listened to abunch of yt vidyas at 1.5 and 2x speed. george feels you can do at 2x hahaha. hey im not hating. im a very slow talker to, i sound a lot better at 1.5 at LEAST.  wish i could do that in real life. might make me sound like less of a tongue tied idiot. only when im in interviews do i talk fast. still sound like a tongue tied idiot though.

oh god. came so close. i actually watched matress girl emma sulky’s retarded “raep” video for a few minutes today, i mean i had seen it when she first did it. she is not even attractive, but i would prob still bone her because she is an early 20s and non obese. and i get really titillated by scenes where the girl is on top and grinding her ass into the guy as he fooks her. great visual. i would really have fun with something like that. thank GOD i turned it off before i got too stimulated. i mean really? chinese joo mattress girl doing fake art that is closer to porn than art? however i almost wanted to jerk off to it to condemn her for being such a dirty disgusting dishonorable joo making a perversion of secs. it honestly cant be called “porn”, but it absoultely CAN be called mind-bogglinging jooish. layers and layers of jooish inception. thank GOD i did not jerk off to it, because then SHE would have won with her jooish filth. that isn’t TECHNICALLY porn, its more of a jooish perversion of Art and Aesthetics and Truth. not that porn isnt a jooish perversion.  but my god her artists statement on that video. read that fookin statement. dont watch any of the video unless you promise not to jerk off to it. cuz then the joo and their lies WIN, and you LOSE.

maybe i wanted an excuse to jerk off to something that wasnt “technical” porn.

wow. ALMOST slid down the slippery slope there. kinda disappointed i even took a step down that path, but glad i turned back. i mean it would be better to just jerk off to pictures of aryan women in wheatfields hahahaha. i mean i just feel kinda HORNY for ONCE, probably partially due to Weekend Party Time.

the title song is so good and i want seventh son to do a version of it. i would totally do it at karaoke. might have to do karaoke tomorrow. im thinking iron maiden, dio, danzig, maybe tom petty.

is steve miller a poor mans tom petty? is that unfair to steve miller? maybe he is a middle class mans tom petty hahahaha.

oooh nice been having a hot streak today:

2017-02-24-20_04_36-carom-0-01_0-02-no-limit-holdem-replay-14812328

well played but he culd have beat me. on one of my long cold streaks, he would have. and i have been cold a lot more than ive been warm! im 100 dollars in the hole all time!

https://smerffelectrical.com/smerff

this is what we need a LOT more of. this is a real guy named smerff in straya who is an electrician with his own electrician business. and on his business website he blatant says pro-white things and says he is a proud sponsor of daily stormer, who also proudly links him on their site. fookin awesome. we need stormer/white-supporting BUSINESSES in EVERY town.

his twitter account has been suspended. smerff. stormer’s was banned years ago haha.

i mean this guy makes no bones about his vehement pro-whyteness on his website, his facebook page, surprised that’s not banned.

check out the site. he employs at least seven proud white men and has classic aussie banter. does not tone anything down to try to increase his business. he obvious does well and STILL has STRONGLY pro-whyte message. amazing. terrific! this is awesome and we need companies like this in every town in the US, straya, the hwyte world.

see their contact information and tell them how awesome they are. send them money for doing no work. in a way this is even better than great journalism like stormer or TRS. they are out in the community providing hugely valuable electrician and AC service ANNNDDDDDD spreading a very positive pro-whyte message to their customers. i cant even wrap my mind around this, i have to sleep on it hahahaha.

daily stormer tshirt hehehe. apparently the company isnt actually alt right or pro white, but SO pro freedom of speech they will print pro white shirts as well as awful BLM and pro-abortion shirts. hmm. i was hoping it wouldnt be like that. i dont want to support baby murderers. but it is pretty good for a FREEZE PEACH advocate to actually not be a lying hypocrite when it comes to pro hwyte stuff. most freeze peach joos are anti freeze peach when it comes to HWYTES.

welp hope he doesnt sell my name and address hahahahaha. i mean it would never stand up in court hahaha unless he were subpoenaed for my name hahaha. which isnt gonna happen. what am i a lawyer all of a sudden?

i mean the chances of me not getting a job because somebody spilled the beans about me on an internet site that i bought a daily stormer (and trs) shirt……i dunno i just dont see it happening.

took valium 2 around 9pm

i sometimes have post titles that have nothing to do with the content, just saved from perhaps long before. did this with about 3 posts recently. 80% of posts I try to have somewhat relevant titles hahahaha.

the hacker wars, been meaning to watch this. large part from weev, dont think he talks about hwyte stuff tho. but hes def thinking it hahaha. he’s just a really interesting smart guy.

https://directory.libsyn.com/episode/index/show/illusionofsanity/id/4710977

weev on illusion of sanity 2016, alawites. a harder to find interview hehehe. have to use a libsyn downloaded to download it.

trying to find and follow all the pro-hwyte hwytes on gab hehehe. did my first repost today re the daily stormer shirt

yeah the two valiums dont do much but i guess its nicer than the alternative hahaha. the alternative being absolutely nothing. a bag of MJ would be so much better tho. but kind of scary to think that MJ is 600000000000 times more power than VALIUM, which is well known as a habit forming, addictive drug that can K you in super large doses. well im clearly not taking enough! should I take a third? but its already almost 11pm and i am getting tired and it would just be a waste. if i had MJ i would certainly be blazing it all day until the moment i crashed into oblivion.

yeah but at this time in the short term, isnt the valium in infinitely greater supply than the MJ? meaning, i have 80 valiums and 0 MJ.

heh. listening to NOTHING but iron maiden the past week. been pretty productive there.  whoops havent listened to the early 90s albums. ok putting on “no prayer for the dying”, which came right after 7th son. people crap on this album but it doesnt sound immediately horrible hahaha.

hmm well i made executive decsion and took valium #3 at 11pm just now. maybe it will be a waste, but i do have a lot. once i get down to like 10 then i will save them for “emergencies only”, for example, going out to a social function, or god forbid a “date”, or a job interview, or maybe a big Job Presentation. don’t think I will have to do any serious presentations for a while tho. if ever. i mean it would be a good thing to have that kind of responsibility and actually do an average job on it. good for resume, good for future interviews.

heh. started playing around with zillow to see where i you could get a “cheap”, small home in a somewhat hwyte boondocky area. basically get a trailer. white pride single wide (credit fatherland jim.) get good deals here but wonder about the white trash in close proximity. i believe that hwyte trash is better than black trash, although the Opioid and Meth Epidemics are making the hwyte trash even worse. why dont they have trailers that are on like an acre of land and dont have other trailers 10 feet away. but then you would basically be paying as much for the land as you are the trailer. trying to understand mortgages, 30 year fixed rate, 5/1 ARMs, etc. they should teach this in middle school or first year of high school. no later than age 14.

1 am here. should go to bed. been up since 5 am. meaning i have been awake for 20 hours. pretty serious. might take a benedryl just to be ultra idiotic. a pill popping machine on friday party night. 3 valiums and 2 benedryls. that can’t be good. but you could make an argument that its better than MJ! or is it? i mean im not so incoherent i cant type or look at zillow for 45 minutes hahaha.

i might actually be a good Real Estate guy. cuz i am very interested in finding decent homes at a good price and especially in good, safe, hwyte neighborhoods. but i would want to be honest and not bamboozle people into jooish mortgages. cuz it honestly is confusing. predatory lending. and i cant figure out what is the best deal. 30 year fixed is higher payment but supposedly more stable over the long term. so you pay extra for “piece of mind.” i kinda like that. but i certainly wouldnt want to live in the trailer for 30 years. 5/1 is built for people who want to move within 5 years. uhhh do they have a 10/1? i might like that better hehehehe.

ideally you just buy the house outright with cash. show up with 20 grand cash and buy the 20 grand house. but there is also homeowners insurance and property taxes. why cant they just include this in the price of the house. why cant they teach this stuff in high school instead of fookin english and spanish and diversity social studies and more bullshit sciences like geography. teach you stuff that will actually help you live a better life. how to be smart when buying a home, getting the most bang for your buck. you can always study the stuff that interests you from the comfort of your nice little home that you are not getting jooed on. of course, why would the joos want to teach the goys how NOT to be jooed.

 

 

THE NARCISSIST WHO WAS AFRAID TO TALK ABOUT HIMSELF WITH REAL PEOPLE

jan 18

https://radio.therightstuff.biz/2017/01/18/rebel-shoah-fashy-struggle-session/

mike enoch gets interrogated wooooot

soundcloud comments dont seem to optimistic, suggest there are no really tough questions, that stuff is brushed off, and the first 5 minutes are not diving into tough questions like i would have liked. i do not have a great feeling tbh.

takes 36 minutes to start maybe getting good??? maybe 43.

heh i expected him to be more shaken up. honestly this is getting boring hehehehe.  uhhhh i was kinda hoping he would act like something happened. to take like 10 straight minutes talking about why its really not ok to marry j00s, or something. i dunno.

how about distraught from losing your family and your 100k job. I would be going CRAZY. Couldn’t even do a conversation with people. i dunno i guess i wanted him to be a little more emotional about it all, even if emotions are womanly.  strong men also have SOME emotions lebowski hahaha.

he doesnt sound like a man whos life has just been ruined.

i dunno. little disappointed. did not meet my expectations. didnt expect to listen to a 2 hour podcast for him to say “i am conflicted about this.” i mean he SHOULD be conflicted about this!

whoa many JCC’s around the nation target for some threats. now here’s some hot news!!!!!

i wanted him to put something personal out there. share something. i guess he doesnt HAVE to, we dont OWN him, i was just hoping for a lot more reassurance than I got. I am glad mike is not K’ing himself and not so worried that he can’t go on…..but what do you really have to SAY about your J wife? he said yeah she’s a J, hasn’t said 25%, 50%, or 100%. this stuff matters! does she have a really J lifestyle and ideology? has TRS’s anti-J’ish caused real problems with their marriage? it probably SHOULD!

i realize he’s not a LEADER, he certainly doesn’t see himself as a leader, and yeah that really comes across here. he may not be a LEADER, but his opinion carries some weight, and i wish he had a stronger opinion about this!  yeah this is “drama” but its also LEGIT drama!

if anything, Sven has stronger leadership qualities than Mike, and Sven is not really pushing Mike to talk about the tough stuff.

im not saying accuse mike as a betrayer, but also he should WANT to address people LEGITIMATE CONCERNS!!!!!!

ok he clarifies that he was notified today he was not welcome at his workplace anymore.

listened to 1:51 and nothing really jumped out at me. i wanted it to jump out. this is kinda a big deal.

so maybe the higher ups have lost a little credibility with me. maybe i will end up spending more time at DS than TRS hehehe. i mean TRS still has great podcasts though. the fatherland.

but man they ban people like crazy on that forum. i kinda like how DS forum is a lot more laid back re the banning. trolls talk mad shit and no one gets banned. i figure let the trolls talk shit, the rest of us will just ignore them. (AN IGNORE BUTTON WOULD BE NICE, THO hahahaha)

i dunno. just not what i really WANTED from mike i guess. but mike is not the leader of trs. and trs has plenty of people who would be more conflicted about their race mixing hahahaha. i just dont want to see a pattern of softening amongst the trs higher ups like sven, i dont want to be disappointed in him too.

WELL, THERES ALWAYS daily stormer at least hahahaha.

i guess i have become a bit less enthusiastic about donating shekels to TRS, where my enthusiasm for donating shekels to stormer has not waned one bit. that probably means something.

heh. i just wanted answers and resolution NOW and i guess im just gonna have to WAIT and see if mike gives anything better. i wish i had a better feeling about it.

i mean mike was never my number 1 favorite podcastfu anyway hahahaha. but he was part of my top tier! i didnt have all my eggs in that one basket tho, which i guess is good.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/meet-10-women-who-rushed-to-get-an-iud-before-inauguration-day_us_587fa3dae4b0c147f0bc56f8

dear lord

i dont want to have children so i can benefit humanity by being a phd research scientist . well just close your legs ya science slut.

you need the hormones for your acne or whatever. how about stop slathering chemicals on your skin and use a very diluted mix of very light salicylic acid hehehehe. maybe lemon juice. maybe just plain water. maybe dove sensitive skin soap.

how about you just stop fooking guys and if you dont want to get preggers, dont have secs with guys when you are on the period!!!!!!

how about be a lot more careful about the secs you do have?

dont have secs for like 7 days around your period. have the guy pull out or wear a condo. have him put it in your degenerate ass hahahahaha.

jan 19

oh dear. i remember when this happened but never really read any follow up on what derek black is doing now. i guess he hasnt come back to VVN and writes shitty articles for the JY Slimes about how trump is a racist and he’s so glad he’s matured past that.

https://www.washingtonpost.com/national/the-white-flight-of-derek-black/2016/10/15/ed5f906a-8f3b-11e6-a6a3-d50061aa9fae_story.html?utm_term=.fc3b626816d0

theres the wapo one with a lot of tldr hahahaha. anyway he honestly seemed like a pretty smart kid from a young age, BEFORE he got to college. knew all the red pill stuff many of us only learn AFTER college. and then he was blue pilled by some jooish guy who invited him to a diversity dinner? that made his whole system come crumbling down? he still seems like a smart intelligent guy!!!! this is really weird shit.

i can understand distancing yourself from his father who might be a little corrupt. but distancing himself from the whole movement is insane. why didnt he just join up with some of the young alt right people? newer groups like daily stormer or TRS?

he used to mock the ideas of white privilege! how did going to a leftist college where they took “white privilege” seriously just totally change his mind where he did a total 180??????????

its implied that the antiwhites had better SCIENCE for why race is a social construct, and how IQ diffs can be explained by education and opportunity and all that. that convinced derek black. a seemingly smart young man. the SCIENCE and STATISTICS were more convincing to say that there was no white genocide hahahaha.

what i’m saying is, he’s smart enough to weigh the evidence of both sides. and smarter people than him have done so and concluded that Race Is Real. I just want to know what was REALLY the deciding factor.

Him trying to make friends? but he was pretty open about it before going to the college.

maybe he got a super antiwhite Jooish gurlfran while he was at the college, who made it her project to convert him. this seems more likely than the above. i mean he didnt sound like a friendless autistic virgin dying for acceptance like i was hahahahahaha.

or maybe it was “just” being his fathers son. his fathers whole life is VVN 1.0. i am thinking don black was a halfway decent father and wasnt really cramming it down dereks throat though. and it sounded like derek willingly got on board.

i would bet theres subconscious father rebellion going on here. and thats why he couldn’t “just” go to VVN 2.0, he had to throw the baby out with the bathwater.

it’s sad because he seemed like a smart guy and could have been valuable to the movement. despite looking like a huge jackass with his hair and style. i mean he looked like a fedora libertarian virgin hahaha.

what really happened here? you dont just get hit with antiwhite statistics from J’s in J00niversity and say wow i never considered that before, and then do a 180.

i mean i was an antiwhite shitlib in jooniversity, but i never put much EFFORT into it. i was just like rabble rabble white privilege hurr durr institutionalized racism hurr durr imperialistic white males punching down, because that was what everyone around me was parroting, and i wanted to make friends, and especially to make gurlfrans hahahaha. I didn’t put extracurricular effort in going to meetings, or doing activism, or writing articles, or reading howard zinn. Many of my peers certainly did. i would rather sm0ke MJ and be like fight the man, maaaaan. like a lebowski deadbeat. and when i did meet trve believer marxist activists, they kinda weirded me out. like these people are WAYYYYY too tryhard. I’m not LIKE THEM, AM I? and maybe THAT started me on really questioning my not-so-strongly-held “beliefs” that white men were oppressing everyone.

derek black did the exact opposite of what I did. it’s a great STORY. but a sad one. fooked up.

so yeah he would be the bigger traitor than mike enoch hahahahaha. but I really don’t like how enoch basically did not talk about the tough questions. left me with no confidence hahahaha. ok mike, you’re not a leader, we get it. maybe i will really stop viewing you as one after all this.  have a very fishy weird feeling about how he has handled all this so far. it just seems like too little. like that’s it?!?!?! that’s the best you can give us?!?!?! you can and should do better than that.

so yeah i wouldnt quite call him a dirty traitor like black hahaha. because i think mike is gonna continue to say Savage Stuff about Da J00z. but he has not removed the Seed Of Doubt in many people’s mind. And I’m MORE than willing to give him the BENEFIT of the doubt!

but he’s not addressing the ELEPHANT IN THE ROOM!!!!!!!

The rank and file of TRS forum are great people. i guess i identify with them more than the TRS higher-ups. this could very well be the start of distrust with the higher ups. stormer forum is less banhappy and i like that.

no im not aguing for more freedom or democracy or less fascism hahaha.

maybe im saying i am losing a little faith in the TRS higherups.

but who are the MODS of stormer forum? anglin and weev sure, and I am FINE with them! if thats the whole of “stormer leadership” i would be 100% happy with that. ….but are there others with the power to BAN?

dunno, just wanted the “higherups” (if not “leaders”) to take this a LITTLE more seriously and not treat people asking reasonable questions as spergs or shit stirrers. shit i thought i was a moderate pvssy compared to many others…..who have prob already been banned from TRS hehe.

and derek black. im just trying to distract myself from the enoch drama. theres just better ways for him to rebel against his father. maybe become a successful engineer who doesnt even write about race hehehe. or be somewhat moderate and normie rather than turn into a damn far leftist.

if youre gonna be FAR anything, be a far rightist hahahaha.

YES don black has some shady stuff going on with the “unrealized projects” and I hate to agree with the splc on this. but that is fishy and derek is right to be critical of it. but dont turn your back on your race man. not cool.  i mean you dont have to go -1433. just go to 0.

maybe he’s rebelling against don and he doesnt even realize it. don seems like a better father than william pierce but im sure its still intense growing up in VVN 1.0. if stormfront were smart they would engage more with stormer and TRS. like david duke has! funfact: don black married david duke’s ex-wife and created the new human life of derek black with her, hehehehehe.

i guess derek is on this thing now where he was like hwyte europeans were SAVAGES and they didnt invent shit, the MUSLIMS were doing all this shit like ALGEBRA while white barbarians were in caves. good lord.

i mean its a FAIR QUESTION as to WHY the muslims went from being SOMEWHAT scholastic and academic and scientific and intellectual in their golden age of algebra and math and architecture and all that……SO WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED in the meantime??!?!?!?!

theres a disqus thread on the first official shoah and everyone that isnt kissing mikes ass is being denounced as a renegade-tier moron. wow.

you dont need to divulge too many personal details…..but ADDRESS THE ELEPHANT IN THE ROOM. don’t pretend like thats NOTHING. and then call the people with understandable doubts and skepticism abotu that PURITY SPIRALERS. Come on. I am as SOFT and MODERATE and wishy washy as they come. but I just wanted a little better from him.

shit yeah I’m welcome to leave. there’s the door. yeah well right now i will take one step towards the door because theres still plenty of good stuff at TRS. and I am SURE mike will say plenty of good stuff in the future. but he didn’t do much to DISPEL THE SEED OF DOUBT.

believe me, im no PURITY SPIRALLER. I’ve dont degenerate shit. I am a huge neet loser virgin untermensch hahaha. mike makes 14 times the money i ever will. i just think i would shown more integrity in this situation, hahahahahahaha.

well wheres MY podcast? wheres my forum? wheres my influential Media Platform? thats what i thought hahahaha.

well i’ve had 3 other longass blogs that went nowhere hahaha but I HAVE been associated with pro-hwytes since 2012. I bought a grindy greggy book in 2012 and I got culture of critique in 2013 hehehe. i recognize this guy on stormer forums from comments on heartiste in like 2007 hahaha. he’s found his way over there and I can’t blame him! welcome!

yeah i mean i KNOW in j00 york and j00 jersey EVERYONE is at least 25% jooish hahahahahaha. and its really not the end of the world to be married to a part J. it’s how you talk about it with the damn hwyte nationalist group you started hahahahahahaha. i guess there is not gossip like “is TRS really actually “VVN” or are they gonna disavow or equivocate on that term?

I’m very comfortable with the label, just as I’m very comfortable with “alt-right”, and i admit this can cause confusion, because not everybody conflates alt right with VVN. MY BAD!!!!

But I kinda thought TRS of all people would openly self-identify as VVN.

well, i am more confident that they are pro-hwyte, and thats really good enough. i mean, i would happily take an 88% hwyte nation hahahaha. just no less. dont want to get into a purity spiral here hahaha.

hey at least im not fooking googles like some hwyte trash woman hahahahahaha.

i just hope the fatherland guys maintain their integrity. they MIGHT say more on the next episode. i mean i dont really EXPECT them to, its much less their place than it is mikes place. but i wonder: would they get kicked off TRS if they were too critical of mike? also, they are close with sven. and one of their hosts has essentially become a higherup himself, doing a lot of forum technical work. I’ve really liked this guy BOF and I hope he doesnt start “cucking” or “shilling” hahahahahahaha.

welp better pack muh bags for renetard express, toot toot. go eat a mile of sinead’s shit hahahahaha. heh. i will start my own 1433 media empire before i do that hahahaha. i will meet goys in real life before i do that hahaha.

derek black. this guy is saying all white trvmp voters are extreme VVN’s like stormfront. WRONG. they are just normie hwytes who have had enough. they dont HATE anybody. they arent EXTREMISTS. sheeeeit even many VVN’s dont HATE anybody. I dont HATE anybody. I just want an 88% hwyte country and i want the J’s to stop attacking and slandering and libeling and lying about hwytes, and i want whytes to stop apologizing for it and to be less damn SUICIDAL as a race.

jan 20

hahahaha stupid linkedin GURLS WHO CODE news item in muh feed and leave it to some arab to say LOOKIN BEAUTIFUL LADEEZ hahahaha which i’m not opposed to saying in principle, but you should be smart enough to know not to say on lindkin, but there are so many arab, streetshitter, and chinese trolls and sock and spam and fake accounts on linkedin making stupid comments everywhere. in the past ive seen SJWs take them to task on this is EXACTLY the kind of comment we DONT want to see, but now I think people just assume quite rightly that these people might be BOTS.

i just think its funny that they are nonwhite bots, often indians who themselves are writing code in sweatshops for a dollar a day. bet they wish they could code as good as these 16 year old black girls!

saw a guy today i first met several years ago. but this guy is just great. absolutely great. total mancrush on this guy. he is highly educated and very successful and very respected and also just one of the nicest, sweetest people you could ever meet. i mainly knew his son who was also a real nice, good, decent guy, but, very much like me, he had a hell of a hard time adulting. a lot of that was due to health issues, being born into a bad body, hahaha. so he has a much better excuse than him. but he was a great guy. his father is a great guy too, but way more successful. so i saw the father today and shook his hand heartily and said give my regards to your son, he’s a good guy, you’re a good guy, i’m happy to see you again, and i was. i was in the next room as he gave a presentation to other people with masters degrees and phds and his presentation/lecture was very high energy and interesting. lets just say he’s into educating and listening to him in this “classroom” it made it clear that he would probably be a VERY good educator, teaching, with students. i had never really heard him in this mode before, but big surprise, he’s great at that too.

give this guy an award! the rest of the day i was like holy shit, he is such a great guy, wow, what an awesome dude, was so nice to see him again.

(he completed his phd later in life, within the past 5 years, after he was already successful and had a good career and a nice family. I think I saw him shortly after that happened and congratulated him on it.)

great, great, great, great guy. he seemed to remember me even though i hadn’t seen him in…..over 3 years.

and i was like holy shit. i was in a GOOD MOOD for HOURS after that. I was like DAMN I gotta meet MORE people who are this awesome.

then i thought, well, that’s a little GREEDY. and what’s wrong with the people I already know? are they chopped liver?

but fact is, only 10% of people are in the top 10% of awesome like this guy is. not everybody can BE that awesome.

so i thought, it’s ridiculous to want to meet more people as awesome as him. first, theres not that many people that awesome, second, how am i worthy of knowing so many of them and having them hang out with me?

and then i thought, it would be LESS ridiculous for me to get married to this man so i can cup his balls all day and bask in his awesomeness. that would generally give me the same effect hahahahaha. being around one super duper awesome person all day every day.

and that’s greedy in another way, greedy and needy on one person. im just one man, find some other people to fill your needs. so yeah, having a Team of Many Awesome people would be best.

the trick is FINDING these people and IMPRESSING them so that they LIKE you.

How did I find this guy? I knew his son, who was/is a great guy, but not nearly as AWESOME in terms of being a successful adult. but this endeared me to the son in a different way. i could relate to the son being a “neet loser”, and I couldn’t RELATE to his father, but I had/have a huge mancrush on his father and see him as a great role model.

and it’s terribly mean to call the son a “neet loser” because he was SUCH a nice guy! probably got that from his father, who is SUCH a nice guy as well! so i can’t disparage the son, other to say that its SAD he’s not getting the great life he deserves for being such a nice man like his father.

anyway i looked up the father on linkedin today when i came home and requested a connection. chances are he wont even SEE it, but if he does, that would be nice.

the son doesn’t have linkedin. prob has facebook but i dont have facebook. i hope the son is doing well…….but i wouldnt be surprised if he wasnt. which is sad. he deserves better and is probably depressed af but doesnt even know it. so i didn’t want to push the father too much on this aspect. i just i hope your son is doing ok, he’s a great guy and deserves great things.

anyway im not alone in thinking the father is a great guy. he has LITERALLY touched hundreds of lives as an educator and i’m sure many of those people are cupping his balls as well. he deserves it.

there are sneaky J’s in this world, and sad things happening to good people, but there are also people who are just so god damn awesome you can’t believe they even EXIST, but they do. and if you can meet as many of those people in real life and spend as much time as possible with them……maybe one day you could BE that awesome. wow. what a thought.

the guy is AMAZING. he is an INSPIRATION. I mean every damn word. if it sounds like im gushing its because i am.

all people cant be this cool, unfortunately……….. but you can STILL recognize the awesomeness of regular average joes. i would like to be able to do that more. i just need an EXTREMELY awesome guy to break through my thick shell. but even less awesome people are still awesome enough.

im talking about hwyte people of course hahahahahaha. nonhwytes, i just dont really care about. i dont wish them any harm, but i’m not as concerned about recognizing their awesomeness.

(i guess if you are an educator dealing with a lot of black kids, you might get passionate about recognizing the awesomeness in each one of them. ok fine. in fact i think that’s a mark of an Awesome Educator. which this guy is. except he doesnt teach a ton of inner city black kids hahahahahha.)

but yeah. spend enough time with this guy and you will want to become a TEACHER hahahahahahaha. he’s one of those. one of those that probably ends up in many students “Muh Favorite Teachers Of All Time” lists. really blowing minds, melting hearts. good for them. we all need as much of that as we can get. but i think this can’t be taught in teachers college really. you have to be born with that spirit.

actually i might have some of that spirit! but i do NOT want to go to teachers college and be a damn teacher.

so yeah seeing him was a wake up call for me. that within every hwyte, there’s a spark of that same awesomeness. i might not see it right away. they might not see it right away. but I should FIND it and then SHOW them that I appreciate them for it. be a real cheerleader.

shit i wish i could cheerlead muh SELF in that way, but uhhhh never been able to do that in 30+ years.

it goes without saying this guy is charismatic af. you HAVE to be. it goes hand in hand with all that.

now muh new coworkers, ive said before they are all awesome in their own ways, and they are. i should try to appreciate them for that and to show them that appreciation…..so that they can recommend me for good jobs hahahahahahahaha. you need all the recommendations and references in life that you can GET. for jobs and Grad Skool hahahaha. not that i promise to ever GO to grad skool……but i also want to prove that I’m smart hahahaha. because that’s a legit reason to go to grad skool hahaha.

2 of muh coworkers are pretty charismatic guys, including muh direct manager. good role models, in other words, and i REALLY dont want to WASTE the OPPORTUNITY, the PRIVILEGE of getting to know these people.

this is what every young man needs………but im not a young man any more. i might be too old to really benefit from this stuff hehe. it IS especially valuable to have access to people like this when you are YOUNG.

it’s my HWYTE PRIVILEGE that i had access to types like this when i was young. but i was so fooked up, immature, and sissy anxious, that i AVOIDED people like this. AVOIDED NICE PEOPLE WHO COULD HELP ME!!!!!!!!!!!

Well i’ve gotten better about not avoiding them any more hahaha.

and i just want to be good about being a NORMIE and having normie conversations with my good guy manager, for example. have normal conversations and over time build a real Relship, so that i can talk to him about his life and family and career, and even more importantly for muh narcissism, talk about my life and my career hehehehehe.

i’m a total narcissist who is AFRAID to talk about muh self with other people!

now thats a weird ass situation to be in.

because i am ashamed of how little i’ve achieved and how i’ve never had any real career goals.

who doesn’t have career goals?

LOSERS!!!!!!!!!!!!

well, no one’s a LOSER, but uhhhhh at this point its beyond the scope of an educator, you need a different kind of professional help, have you thought about seeing a shrink or a psychiatrist hahahahaha.

YASSSSSSSSSSSSSSS.

So he was talked to this other woman who is currently doing a PHD in a marxist as hell field and is being advised by a marxist professor, and i was like oh great, im gonna have a field day listening to this woman’s lecture.

and yeah there was bullshit in there about hwyte privilege and closing the achievement gap with blacks……but at the same time, these people at least were still genuinely concerned with Just Helping Students Succeed.  Period. and I had to respect that. they weren’t k1kes rubbing their hands with how to keep evil whites down. they just sincerely want to help all students succeed. and i can totally respect that.

i just think they would have a much better go at that if they acknowledged the reality of racial differences.

however i might just agree with them on the class differences. like this woman was talking about the experience of growing up in an honestly shitty town, no one goes to college, let alone gets a phd, and she talks about stories of smart kids who just didnt get the right direction by their teachers. and i can totally sympathize with that . in a way i kinda feel like that.

but most of that is On Me, because I Actively AVOIDED the people who COULD direct, guide, advise, help me put my life on a good path. because i was afraid to Talk To Professors. I do regret that.

not just professors, but just successful middle class winner people in general.

i overheard them talking that middle class kids get more direction in thinking creatively, thinking outside of the box, while the working class kids are more like “just tell me what to do. am i doing this right? tell me what to do and i’ll do it. please.”

which was haunting for me, since I felt like that ALL THE TIME at muh old job, and still feel like that a little bit, generally. i said FOOK creativity, we need to GET THINGS DONE. RESULTS. what do i do to make this work now. creativity is a bourgeois, effete, phaggy luxury that real working people in the real world don’t have time form. creativity is NAIVE and SOFT and WEAK.

i honestly dont put high value on being creative. i would rather get things done. be charismatic, be good with people, do good strong work.

so, according to her, i definitely have more working class values than middle class. which i kinda already knew hahahaha. the whole story of my life has been torn between those two worlds, and failing in both of them.

i would talk to them all day about class. but just stfu about RACE hahahaha.

because i have ALWAYS identified with and support the working class……but i always had class/status anxiety about becoming middle class. using muh SMART BRAIN to go to COLLEGE and get a nice middle class CAREER and marry a woman who’s also “smart” enough to get a college degree and spell words correctly and not get Working Class Tattoos hahahaha.

because there’s parts of the working class I dont like, the white trash shit, but honestly i think those are WAY outweighed by the positives.

so here’s this woman talking about all this stuff and it was honestly very interesting. i wish they had recorded the lecture, or that i had tried to talk to the woman more before the lecture. but i didnt because i felt like a nervous idiot who didn’t know how to talk to phd’s. besides she was a commie antiwhite feminist.

technically yes……..  but i guess i agree with the antiwhite marxists when it comes to class. i am very very pro-working-class. i just dont want a marxist revolution. maybe i want a nonmarxist workers revolution? maybe. one with a huge racial component hahaha. white workers. NSDAP hahahaha.

would REALLY like to meet an awesome inspiring person like this who is closer to muh views on Race. hehehehe.

listen if i were in the position of these educators and had black students who were honestly smart and honestly working hard, no way would i brush them off or try to keep them down. i would want to help them succeed.

if i were ever in a position to really truly literally DISCRIMINATE against someone based on race alone, i would hope i wouldn’t do it. i really wouldnt WANT to be in that position.

i just HATE how these altruistic, noble, good motives got wrapped up with horrible jooish marxism!!!!!!!

like all these admirable educators are also damn democrats who parrot the benefits of diversity to their dying day. can’t we just take that shit out? you can STILL HELP STUDENTS, regardless of race!

like the woman was talking about a student who was smart, but got bad grades. the student wanted to be a lawyer, but because they were a working class person with bad grades, their teachers were like, uhhh you might want to become a paralegal instead. because to be a successful lawyer you need to get on the right PATH: good grades. good schools. and this student was smart enough to be capable of that, but they are guided to be a paralegal instead of a lawyer. that discussion particularly interested me. as a smart person who ultimately got mediocre grades and never ascended to the Successful Track……..BUT PROBABLY COULD HAVE.

and this teacher is concerned with being a good teacher who helps those kinds of students get to that track. and i totally admire that.

i just wish they didnt have to be goddamn diversity loving, trump hating, SJW marxists!!!!!!!! who are scared and sad about the bigotry and hate of white trump voters!!!!!

why cant you be a white trump voter who loves the white working class but ALSO wants to see all students succeed and get on the right path? so that would be my niche hehehehe.

of course LAW is a risky choice anyway. dont become a lawyer OR a paralegal. is what i would tell the student. do a damn trade instead. and i think this woman teacher i was listening to was very open to that idea as well. appreciated the value of trades and trade education/educators. and i am thankful to be around educators who understand that. rather than humanities professors in the ivory tower with soft pink bitchhands hahahaha.

but yeah to be a successful lawyer you should aim for top tier…..or not try at all. its the best or nothing. i mean that’s just how it is with law. i wish it weren’t!

and yeah i wish college weren’t so expensive. i dont even know who to blame anymore.

but i think pushing trades education is always a good idea.

like how about get rid of high schools in black neighborhoods and have them do trades education starting at age fooking 14. get paid working experience starting at age 14, so that they can get a decent paying job at age 18. rather than have these shitty public high schools of teachers babysitting savage, uneducable “Students”. take those students at a young age, 14 at the latest, and get them into military or trade school, before they have time to become savages. that would be my recommendation as a huhwhyte nationalist educator who wants the best for students of ALL races.

lets just move this post into the BEST OF right now hahahaha.

DONE.

i mean heres the thing. i might just AGREE WITH J MARXISTS on some aspects of Education and Socioeconomic Class.

and i dont want J Marxists to have a MONOPOLY on those ideas. I want VVN’s to be able to claim those ideas too.

heh. there was another educator there who has very good reviews from students and teaches a class in Religion. he is a huhwhyte goy who seems to be a Good Teacher. i didnt get to talk or listen to him at all. i mean i have fears that he is a diversity loving shitlib. now his specialty is RELIGION. handsome youngish guy who SHOULD have a wife and 3 young children. does he? i worry that he is a fedora atheist who teaches why religion is stupid and right wing. but why would he get a graduate degree in RELIGION?

but why wouldn’t he get a graduate degree in THEOLOGY or DIVINITY and become a PRIEST?

he seems like a smart guy who knows alot about religion, but would he be good to go to for actual SPIRITUAL GUIDANCE????

i should have asked him why didnt he become a PRIEST hahahaha. i think its because he’s really into ((((buddhism)))) hahahahaha.

no i dont think theres anything inherently wrong with that. ive known some great people who were heavily into buddhism. thinking of an old college friend who was a GREAT, classic, inspiring guy, and he got a grad degree in something buddhist related.

excuse me “professor” but why do you hate christians? are you varg vikernes or something hahahaha at least then we would agree that HOLY FOOK I LUV BEING HWYTE hahahaha.

they might not explicitly luv being hwyte, but if they have a whyte wife and hwyte children………then ITS ALL GOOD!!!!!!!!

and shit i really like the issues that ((((SOCIOLOGY))))) looks at, like race and culture and status and class and society and men and women…………..but i wish there were a hwyte-friendly version of sociology, because currently, its about THE WORST field there is. the absolutely fooking WORST. SAD.

i mean if there were a Hwyte Sociology, I would get a phd in THAT. but there isn’t. there wont be in my lifetime. and i dont have the charisma or awesomeness or influence to make one myself. lets be realistic here. i mean yeah i often underestimate myself, but not here.

its so frustrating. to have smart people talking about very interesting things…..but to take the worst possible perspective on it. except for a few points about wanting to help working class students, or working class people in general. THAT I agree with them on. NOTHING else. sheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeit.

and theres ABSOLUTELY NO WAY I could have a conversation with these masters and phd-level Educators and convince them that Hwytes are Awesome and plz drop this marxist white privilege bullshit. because I can’t argue, and I sure can’t argue against people who a large part of their jobs is arguing, in favor of shit I want to argue against. they would give me 6000000000 citations from other marxist phds why institutional racism is real and hwytes have a big debt they need to repay.  and i would give a few citations from RACIST, DISCREDITED sources like kmac and uh……cant say dr duke or dr pierce obviously. maybe could say rushton or bell curve or the DNA guy watson. but they already think these people are horrible racists!

uhhh well what about putnam. he was a shitlib who didnt like the conclusions he was reaching, that Too Much Diversity was Bad!

but i didnt even read the book!

supposedly kmac became gradually more redpilled as he did his research and wrote his books. he didn’t want to become a racist but by the third book (CofC), he had arrived, like it or not.

maybe just give copies of CoC to these people hahahaha. let them read it and say, this is hwyte supremacist bullshit thats no better than david duke hahahaha.

and i havent even read all of CoC myself!!!!!!!! its too try and dense hahahahaha.

and doing a phd in ANYTHING requires reading TONS of dry and dense stuff.

this will ALWAYS be inherent to ANY phd. its not going away. so yeah i am leaning away from the phd like i always was.

i mean i always wished i were better at arguing. ive never liked it because ive never been good at it. and certainly my lack of confidence doesnt help. you HAVE to be CONFIDENT to be a good arguer.

and to be a right wing ACADEMIC, you have to be confident and bold as fook. just couldnt do it. so i hate that The University has become so goddamn left wing. i dont need to tell you who to blame for that.

otherwise it might have been a good career path for a smart young man hahahaha.

and i’ve always been interested in this stuff more than any STEM or science, unfortunately. that would have made things a hell of a lot easier too.

so, what should a super right wing person DO for a career?

become a huge capitalist businessman like trump obviously hahahaha.

but i didnt really luv business classes. but if i had gotten a business bachelors degree, prob could have gotten an Entry Level Business Job hahahahahaha. but i would prob hate it because i dont like the way businesses are run. in very jooish, dishonest ways. fuzzy exterior at best, and rotten to the core. exploitin the workin class hahahahahaha. cutting corners and treating human beings as objects to make money.

and NOW i’m talking like a FAR LEFTIST!!!!!!!!!

but i swear. I’m really a far rightist but with strong pro-working class views. so i guess i should go cup matt heimbach’s balls HAHAHAHAHAHA.

no i like, respect, and admire heimbach and should read his stuff more. we need more men like that in the university.

or anglin or weev. or even k1ke enoch hahahaha.

but i also would like to have some role models who are Crazy Hwyte Supremists, but just total damn normies.

this is where that first guy comes in. he teaches in a field that is pretty Apolitical. and he would probably be the most open to listening to Right Wing stuff than the other Decent People I work with.

HOWEVER, I do want to take advantage of the fact that I work with decent people, with great careers, who are Kinda Leftist, but not Ragist Marxists like a Sociology PHD or something, thank GOD, and jsut have normal conversations with them, build Real Relationships with them, so I can Use Them as references and help muh own career, hahahaha. i mean i would buy them dinner in return, and give them good work. but it just involves me being charismatic on a daily basis.

and im not charismatic. i just try to be nice and friendly and smile and ask smart questions and show i’m smart and have initiative. but today i had a chance to make Good Witty Small Talk and I blew it and there was an awkward silence. I could have asked the guy about ANYTHING. movies, his family, his masters degree. but I choked. I mean later in the day I interacted with him and was friendly and smiled and made Good Eye Contact and said Have A Good Weekend so I think I did OK there.

but I want to do BETTER than OK!!!! I have a lot of lost time to make up for! I’m in a hole and have to dig my way out! OK isnt good enough!!!!!

OH YEAH. another reason this is a topkek post: had a dream last night with THAT WOMAN. She looked a little slutty and was acting a little slutty. which was rough because she never looked or acted slutty around me, and i LIKED THAT A LOT.  I wonder if she DID look slutty around me, if that would have made it EASIER in the long run, to shatter my pedestal fiction image of her. probably!

and maybe she DID act and dress slutty around other guys, guys she wanted to FOOK.  black guys hahahahahahaha.

anyway in the dream she was dating a hwyte guy, who was tougher and more badass than me. dressing and acting kinda secsy towards him. I was all butthurt and remember yelling at her: “N1993R FOOKER! you dirty degenerate N199ER LOVER!!! you god damn fooking wh0re!!!!” which really did not look good for me. at that point I look like the butthurt bad guy.

then she responded with hostility, not suprisingly. said no you’re wrong, see i’m not even WITH a black guy, i just needed a real man, not a little bitch like you. and i was acting like a little bitch.

and in real life, i was never that hostile or hateful towards her. i would never say that to her. i was a little angry and hostile, but i was more sad and disappointed and crushed. i still dont think she was a degenerate wh0re. i think she’s a good person who was in a tough situation and took the easy way out. we’ve all done it. i was a little disgusted at some things she was alleged to have done, but not to the extent i was in the dream!

i still view it more with sadness and disappointment, rather than hateful hositility.

not that i had NO anger towards her.

then later in the dream she started attacking me and “my team” of men with a sharp meat cleaver. turning into a horror movie villian who wanted to chop us up. And I brought it all upon myself by being a mean butthurt bitch to her. which then somehow justified her attacking me with a meat cleaver.

so i was humiliated that i lost control and appeared so weak and butthurt in front of her.

and in real life yeah this did sorta happen. i HATED appearing weak and needy and clingy to her. making her push me away. i pushed her away by needing her so much.

but i never said anything like n1993r lover hahahaha. i just said pleeeeaassseeee hang out with me i miss being frinedsssssss with you and she said stop it stop it stop it! leave me alone!

not my finest hour and yeah i am ashamed of being so weak.

so the dream brought alot of that back up. and showed her being Secsy, towards a tougher manlier man. another hwyte man. so i couldnt even bring Race into it hehehehe.

it was a pretty disturbing unpleasant dream! but thankfully it didnt ruin my day, I was over it about 2 hours later, and ultimately had a Pretty Good Day because of seeing That Awesome Guy. totally outweighed the cons of me being Awkward with the coworker and awkward with the other Professional Woman. i wasnt even awkward with her, i just focused on my task. and let other people chit chat with her.

but my job is so low stress, its NORMAL for people to chit chat! i TOTALLY could have left my “work” for 2 minutes to chit chat with her about Her Interests, some of which where 180 to my own, but others which were……360 hahahaha. right dead on.

but she’s a mature educator, i don’t think she is constantly judging people as WEIRD and AWKWARD. she wants the best for her students for gods sakes. she has probably learned NOT to be judgmental to people for being awkward.

i mean MOST people, they WONT judge you for being awkward, they wont even NOTICE IT, BECAUSE ITS ALL IN YOUR FOOKING HEAD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

to make a pretty good day even better, theres this. oh GOD BLESS YOU LAD.

though i would have liked if he called them k1k3s rather than dinosaurs hahahaha.

see i wish mike had just been more like woes. at this point, i have more respect and faith and confidence in MW. I feel he is more honest, has more integrity. take the gay scandal. woes didnt blow it off and not talk about it. he made it perfectly clear that he did not support the gay agenda, that gayness was generally degenerate, and that he was glad to put his degen past in the past. he handled that VERY WELL so the people still bashing MW about it do indeed look like autistic shills. i wish mike had approached the JWife situation with similar openness.

i still technically support mike. he has done more good than i will EVER do. i’m just disappointed at how he handled this, which has lessened my faith in him a little. 10 to 20%. there was no such lessening of faith with MW.

heh i found george feels making a comment on another guys video where he HEAVILY suggests that he is JWise and that he listened to Dr Pierce in the god damn 1990s. WOW. i wish george would talk about this in his own videos. i think he will! i hope he does!!!! im being deliberately vague here because i dont want to push him before he’s ready. but i think he will be ready soon. i hope he keeps going down this road, it could help him, it helped me with similar problems. didnt fix them entirely, but it HELPED.

being part of something larger, and very very meaningful, and this holy thing is under attack. 1433 brothers hehehehe.

i listened to dr pierce in 2012 and it was pretty influential to me at that time. he had some GREAT content but his Activism was still VVN 1.0.  also i hear he wasnt the greatest father. SAD. but he could still redpill you on the JQ.

if anything it makes me want to talk to george more. i’ve messaged him briefly and gently encouraged him to look into this stuff…..and apparently he’s already pretty far in. GOOD! GREAT!!!

hopefully by the time this comes out in sept 2017 he will be moar forward about it.

wodensthrone curse – really good. think the second half is maybe stronger than the first! and thats always good. i was getting hair raising chills for like the last 10 minutes STRAIGHT. WELL DONE. i didnt think music could do that any more. that i couldnt get any joy or awe out of music. WODENSTHRONE.

good for george. good man. this increases my confidence in george. i was worried he was just gonna do the same thing for 5 years hahahaha. IMHO he needs to run with the racial stuff, but i wont push him to talk about it before he’s ready. i mean he is putting his actual FACE out there. and its more harmful to be doxxed for VVN than to be doxxed for neet loserness.

i am tempted to email him about this hahahaha but he might think i am a stalker. maybe i will email him in a couple months about it.

friday night, tom off, normally i would have been in bed 2 hours ago, now i am rocking out to WODENSTHRONE and really WRITING like an absolute madman. finally got some people at the card table to will do a little of that.

REALLY wish i had some MJ, AS DEGEN AS IT TRULY IS. that will be my damn VICE.  but on a night like this, i would stay up late, smokin MJ till 2 am hahahaha then crash to sleep a long solid unbroken dreamless refreshing sleep.

well the awesome guy accepted my linkedin invite same day and sent me a message asking for my email, i emailed him back with the info and Cupped The Cajones a little more, hahaha. unfortunately the sent email was formatted all weird so now he prob thinks i am an unemployable weirdo who needs more help than an Educator can provide, hahahahaha.

no i’ll buy him lunch if he wants, shit hes such a nice guy he would probably buy me lunch with his huge paycheck hahaha. i gently suggested to him he should write a book or do a youtube channel. shit maybe hes already written a book. probably a sizable minority of people we get have written books.

also today was inauguration day. did i mention that hahaha. trvmpenfuhrer is now no longer president elect, but full blown president. not bad. now watch him cuck for ZOG hahahahaha. but let us bitter fearful bigoted working class ammosexual trumpanzee hwytes have our brief moment of happiness hehehe.

i mean educated people treat you like youre IGNORANT if you say you dont believe nonwhites are OPPRESSED. period. oh you cant be SERIOUS. how can you not SEE the institutionalised racism! a person today was talking about “cultural capital” and yeah these sociology concepts are potentially useful, but they just take it to the wrongest conclusion.

i mean shit, maybe nonwhites ARE oppressed. but you wanna play that shitty game, you know who else is oppressed? HWYTES!!!! hahahaha. oppressed by J plutocrats and media masters and Globalist Banksters.

maybe my holy mission is to organize all goyim against the eternal international J hahaha. goyim here meaning whites and blacks and browns.

maybe i will get banned for even using the word g0yim hehehe. stupid g0yim. the G0YIM KNOW, SHUT IT DOWN!

what if i lived in the UK where they have no freedom of speech? dont tons of UK people use wordpress????

listen man i’m not inciting anything and i don’t HATE anybody. this is not a rabid hate channel hahahahaha. and these scumbags still went after MW. so glad he came back with his new video saying FOAD you scum.

 

BEING A NEET INCEL LOSER IS DEGENERATE AND THIS IS HOW WE BEAT IT AND BECOME WW’s

jan 7 2017

got to get used to writing 17 hahahahahahahahahaha i think i might have written 2016 at some point yesterday

absolutely ridiculously cold outside, like 10 degrees without wind chill. goal is to do errands today like i am making an effort to not be a lazy neet loser.

sheeeeit. if those people are doxed. its a very serious important issue. on one hand its an ACT OF WAR. it means your enemies want you DEAD. on the other hand, it could provoke The Sleeping Goy to go All In. and an anti-J march in montana could be less of a trolling tactic and more of an actual reality.

but im concerned about these peoples FAMILIES.

very interesting how MW has gone from being a depressed AF neet loser to becoming an Influential Leader. I am very glad for it! also that he is a very moderate, convincing voice…..but he himself is developing and growing and becoming more damn 1433 than people realize! and its awesome to see a smart, careful, very well-spoken, likable, reasonable man go from normie to 1433 in the space of 2 years or so! (i heard you can get banned from facebook for even just saying the number 14…….8………….7 hehehehehe

 

hi sir hello, yes I know YOU arent a 1433 WN, but to me as a SME in the subject area of hwyteness, I fell your emphasis on Scots and Celts speaks to our primordial hwyte soul. and i hate bands and music and shows, but i would make a bigly exception. For You. YOURE WELCOME for me buying a tshirt from you hahahahaha. now find a way to record a full concert with better sound quality. dont they have “soundboards”? how did grateful dead record all those shows with good quality where you could hear each instrument? then you mix it in with a BIT of an audience recording (like this) to get that in the thick of it high energy live sound.

I mean hey your albums sound good in the “studio”, you are more than capable of figuring out how to do a good live recording. I mean I dont think they were TRYING for a good recording here. they just wanted to play a good show, and they very much succeeded there, and some Rando in the Audience had the good idea of hey someone should record this. I just like when the band shares that idea, and makes a little effort. a little goes a long way here guys. make a LITTLE effort. dont lose sleep trying to create The Perfect Live Album at Great Expense.

just set up like microphones in good places and soundboards and mixers and shit. i dont know.  enlist an INTERN from university who is majoring in Music Production and be like, sheeeeit you should really pay ME for the privilege of this EXPERIENCE you can put on your RESUME. do a good job and maybe we’ll let you do this again for free.

he has a a somewhat fashy some richard spencer haircut. not sure if it would be an improvement for him to grow long metal hair. sure why not. if you can, you should.

i guess ghoul got doxed pretty brutally so he’s been cooling off. thankfully counter signal memes for fashy goys is still active and i am not seeing any doxing stuff on google other than rumors he was doxed, and he took down bone zone, where he blatantly showed his very handsome face.  which probably led to the doxing.

i mean its very important to have a 1433 ACADEMIC PHILOSOPHER PHD, so i don’t want him to jeopardize that.  to have him inside the university unsubverting it would be great.

so yeah you can get banned on fbook for typing the number 1400 and eighty eight. i have used the number so much here that i dont know if i could find and replace them all! but going forward i will try to type 1433. and how about VVN instead of double you enn. wait until its a bannable offense just to say the term alt right!

im glad we have 20 year old KIDS now who are into the Cause, the Movement, but i am a bit jealous of them having a head start, of them having their heads on right at a young age. they will actually get their stem degrees, get good careers, make decent money, at a young age, which will make their chances at finding a good woman SO MUCH BETTER. then by the time they are 30, they can be making 50 grand a year, be married for like 10 years, and have 3 children.

rather than be 30, make 13k a year, have no children, have not even casually been with a woman since age 22 hahahahahahahaha.

went to walmart. on a saturday. it was PACKED with all sorts of blacks and browns. arabs the browns we have around here. not so many mexicans at all. some shitty asians like laos and hmong and thai and vietnam and all that. but the arabs are by far the biggest and most numerous. probably doxing myself here. ive been to areas where there are tons of mexicans and thats no fun either. well theyre not even necessarily mexicans. they are the hondurans and salvadoreans even mexico doesnt want.

tons of blacks. i felt uncomfortable that this walmart was less than 4 miles from my home. it was like a damn nonwhite ghetto in there. some real bad people of walmart. it was enough to convince me to go to the other walmart in hopes that it would be whiter. and its true it was a saturday. the worst day to go to walmart or any retail store. worst of the worst.

but yeah they had real nice clothes in there. faded glory and george brand shirts, real nice. bought a george dress shirt and a gift card to give to fam. you need clothes, go to walmart. this is why i dont pull pvssy. because i think walmart is great fashion hahahahahahahaha.

yeah well fook women, they are like jooish n3gr0 infant r3t4rds. they are borderline not human hahahahahahahaha.

if they knew what an asshole i was, then i would probably get more positive attention from women!

but im not an asshole in the right way, i am filled with CREEPY woman hate rather than SEXY woman-disregard!

women dont like woman-haters, they like woman-disregarders and woman-disrespecters! hehehehe.

mint wont let you split transactions that are pending on a credit card. that is stupid!

why havent i commented on the black thugs torturing the white man on video. well im glad it seems to be sparking a race war and waking some whites up and making them say ENOUGH IS ENOUGH, im gonna be a damn racist already, im gonna start using the N Word.

But I wonder. I KNOW there are WHITE shitlibs out there who will say “yeah this is bad, but…………….what do you expect? this is kinda inevitable, given all the injustice whites have done against blacks. whites brought this on themselves. they kinda deserved it. its sad it happened to this disabled guy, but….you reap what you sow. I’m surprised this doesnt happen more often. you dont just oppress a whole group of people for 200 years without a little blowback.  when you spend 250 years punching down, expect them to punch up once in a while. ”

that kind of shit. rather than saying HELL NO. THIS SHIT HAS GONE TOO FAR. THESE FOOKING 1NgR0S. maybe we can’t live together. maybe they CAN be racist against whites. maybe whites should be racist against them.

well honestly. i can only think of one or two, well maybe three hahaha whites who are so shitlibby that they might think something like that. shrug and say yeah its deplorable but what did you expect would happen when you keep oppressing blacks? this is just an unfocused attempt to get justice for the wrongs whites have done against blacks. and dont be so ignorant and racist that you pretend it isnt!!!!!!

i said i felt much more NORMIE when i was friends with that woman, that i could even BE friends with a young woman, but did i really feel that way? i think when i first became friends with her, i was like yeah, she’s ok, we get along pretty well, but she’s not in my inner circle or anything. it took a real long time for that. after 1.5 years she confessed i was in her inner circle. i guess i appreciated that and started to be more willing to let her pass thru muh own walls of isolation, alienation, solitude and loneliness hahaha hahahaha.

now i just feel like a neet weirdo. me and george feels. at least he was working full time and probably making about 28k a year plus benefits! and people are mocking him for going down to 30 hours! and im not even working 30 hours hahahahahahahahahahaha. george right now is a bigger winner than i am right now……..and i just made a HUGE step FORWARD!

oh uncle bern hahahaha still doing mgtow and red pill stuff in 2017. he’s not wrong though! honestly i am so OLD that this stuff speaks to me. i am an old fart like bern. I think the current generation of youngins is better than the old farts like me. we are seeing good ideas and values in the minds of our youth. there are probably even decent 20 year old WOMEN out there now. And unfort I am TOO OLD to be with them. when I was 20 it was such a jood, pozzed, degen, nihilistic, hedonistic, muh dick  time. there were fewer decent young women than there are today HAHAHAHAHAHA like these excuses?

so our young alt right hwytes probably WILL find waifus and have children, unless childless oldass neets like me hahahaha. butthurt about our lost youth and our foreveralone and the women of OUR generation were always garbage hahahaha. the women WAY before us, and the women JUST AFTER us were ok though. we were on the cusp. on the wrong side of it though. JUSSSSST missed the boat. and eternally butthurt about it.

basically us old bachelor mgtows will die childless and the new young alt right kids will have children young. which is great for the race. but i would have liked having a chance at all that too hahaha.

but i DID have a chance! i just BLEW it royally!

yeah i just wonder where the cutoff is. i thing george for example is old enough that he got the shit end of the stick. he’s in my weird in between generation in other words. but a kid who is 25 or especially 20 right now? definitely in the younger, better generation.

excuses excuses hahahaha.

school never prepared me to be a good worker drone because i cant even get a damn proper average job. by average i mean 26k a year. the average per capita income.

really half of the jackasses in georges comments DO have decent advice, and if he did these things, it would help him at least a little bit. stop drinking. start counting calories. start doing MJ. stop telling gurls their boifrans are lucky.  but yeah he reminds me of me because he thinks CODING is his ally hahahaha. coding and programming is bullshit. you basically need a masters in compsci to get an entry level job, the only other jobs are Tech Support, which will destroy you entirely.  now granted the entry level jobs pay at least 30k hahahahahaha but i dont want to get a masters in compsci to get there.

or the equivalent of that in knowledge and skills because you spend all your free time CODING for fun instead of blogging and playing Cards and doing Alt Right stuff hahahaha.

in other words i fully predic george will become disillusioned with CODING the same way I did hahaha.  after i took like 30 credits of compsci courses.

but i dont want to burst georges only bubble!

i bet in states wiht legal MJ, do they have like MJ bars, where you can actually smoke the MJ at the place while hanging out there, the same way you drink in a bar? and then wont cops be waiting outside these places at closing time to make 10 grand a pop off every intoxicated driver.

because you can smoke a couple big puffs and be completely BTFO’d, while you pretty much have to be drinking for HOURS to get completely shitfaced. taking one hit of strong MJ is like having a double shot of 150 proof alcohol.  well its not nearly as bad for your liver and body, but in terms of mental intoxication.

but yeah i am very sympathetic to george. but i can totally see how he is frustrating. shit if i were in HIS shoes I would be all set. have a 28k a year Boring Job. its not liek he doesnt make enough money to move out! live in colorado. work your boring job where you know what youre doing and it doesnt fill you with FEAR, then buy a bag of MJ on your way home, and sm0ke it in the beautiful forest near your home.

i dont think george has much anxiety. but he certainly has a decent amount of depression. i prob envy him for not having anxiety. envy anybody who doesnt have anxiety. but especially him because his severe despair and omega incel puts him closer to my level hahahaha

how many men are unambitious? half? less than half? a half of a half? some men are definitely obviously ambitious. and some are definitely not. i dont need to tell you which one of those i am. hahahaha. i have NEVER been ambitious, ever.

well bitcoin finally “crashed” about 2 days ago and in seems to be on a slight downward trend right now. good. i will need to buy a little more eventually.

http://archive.is/oNXP6

oh god this futrelle guy is still around. he is the worst. now he is, not surpirsingly, bitching about the alt right and andrew anglin. mein n3g3r AA. he is one of the best writers and propagandists out there. i have nothing but respect and admiration for him. i think he should do more podcasts and less writing……but all his writing is so damn good and powerful. i dont like reading…..but when i do, i read andrew anglin hahahahaha.  he will be forever in the top tier of muh alt right d’nations. i will give this man at least 20 dollarydoos a year for hopefully many years to come hahahaha. he is fooking AWESOME and I would LUV to meet him one day. I would totally take a picture with him and use it for muh facebook photo forever. if i ever got back on fb hahahaha. which i feel no desire to do so. have been off facebook for pretty much 1.5 years here. no big loss. so now i cant stalk and spy on women. good, that was stupid and bad and creepy hahahaha. it was not principled hwyte behavior. yeah yeah its not fair to the women but it wasnt fair to me either. no i didnt realy STALK them. but i still looked at womens profiles far more than i should have been. it aids you in building your horrible FANTASY. dont do that. youre just hurting yourself.

when i got feelings for That Woman I would gaze longingly at her pictures on FB and saw ohhh gawd shes so purttty i so want her to be muh gurlfran and waifu, yeah shes a little weird looking but shes so qt and purty tho, im so glad i can see that now, this is the gurl i want to be muh waifu, im all in nao.

stupid. should have deactivated facebook THEN.

HA. I could probably get banned just for saying andrew anglins NAME hahahaha.

heh. im just glad millennial woes is become more like andrew anglin. well, not really, but kind of sort of. he’s becoming more VVN!!! People might not feel so proud to wear their MW tshirts any more! me, i will be even MORE proud to wear it and signal to people, this is what i believe, ask me about VVN hahahaha.

daily stormer started in july 2013. cant believe its that young. well i mean he was doing other stuff before that.

sheeeeeeeeeeit, i started THIS blog in may 2013 hehehehe. this blog is older than the daily stormer. and believe me i have been doing other blogs for YEARS. dont want to say their names but i have had at least three other Big, Multi-Year blogs. books and books  and books and books worth of rambling writing. i am a prolific blogger and have been ever since at LEAST 2005.

my average blog was maybe 2 years long, which is pretty good. and this one is prob the longest. i have honed my craft perfectly hahahaha.

the other blogs i tried harder. i polished the writing. it wasnt all a goddamn sloppy rough draft. also i fought to separate the personal and the political. for a while i was either “apolitical” or basically a damn LEFTIST. i was still a gloomy gus though. and very neurotic. but at least i had a political awakening hahahaha. I am very happy and grateful about that. it wasnt enough to FIX me, but god damn was it a YUGE improvement.

over being a god damn shitlib, feminist, anti-white, antiracist. you can see why these people trigger me so much now! they remind me of the horrible person I used to be! hard to believe i was once much WEAKER hahahaha. but i was!

the previous blog to this, though, started to see my transformation. and i retired that because some real life people knew about it. i guess i wanted to use it to try to raise my real life social capital. get women basically. get women by being a Blogging Badboy. Jeeeeeez theres a great idea hahahaha.

but ultimately i ended up Concerning people with my increasingly racist beliefs. so i shut the blog down. well, i think its still out there. i certainly saved a copy of it hahahaha. there was a lot of good stuff there!

and this one, i have no intention to tell anyone real life. no intention. and also no intention to separate personal and political. just let it ALL hang out. my main concerns here are getting doxed, and also making the movement appear weak.

i mean i dont think i am a total dumpster fire the way sinead or evalion is. i think i have a PRETTY GOOD grip on a lot of the stuff. really i am similar personally to millennial woes. a guy who faced a lot of despair and failure and underachievement and gradually came over to the right, then the alt right. MW clearly has his neet past. So do I. I’m still kind of IN IT, and I have struggled with it MORE than MW.

well….technically he was unemployed for longer than I was hahahahahaha.

also he tries a lot harder with his Content.

Also he talks a lot less about personal stuff. And when he does, he often makes the videos private. but when he does talk about personal stuff, those are some of muh fav videos of his.

also he shows his face. i would never, ever, ever show my face. but i have great respect for people who do.

i have thought about using my voice though. that itself is a HUGE risk. just talking this shit out instead of WRITING it. I current have hours and hours of poorly recorded Voice Recordings I make when driving in the car. and some of those are pretty good. 10% of it hahahaha.

anyway im no newb at this stuff. i am a damn SME hahahaha.

but yeah i do NOT want people to think all alt right, and by that i mean 1433 VVN’s who are JPilled on the JQ, that we are all emotionally unstable omega incel neets. I want you to think we are all fashy handsome winners, making 100k at age 25 with our STEM graduate degrees, in topkek shape physically, mentally, spiritually, emotionally. i mean shit. personal improvement is a key part of this whole program. and i have failed miserably at that.

but at the same time, studying this stuff and  accepting this stuff has made me a better person, at least relatively hahahahaha. and i would encourage it to neet incel losers. the white ones at least. and really racial nationalism would probably help neet losers of any race. i dont really care about anyone but hwytes though.

so yeah it helped me a lot, but i’ve still got a long way to go. also i would hate to be shunned by the movement i hold so dear, because i am an incel neet loser and have a blog that is all about being a neet incel loser.  a good 1433 VVN is NOT incel, neet or a loser in other words.

yeah well im not saying neet incle loser is GOOD! I’m saying its FOOKING HORRIBLE AND DEGENERATE AND THIS IS HOW WE BEAT IT AND BECOME STRONG, PROUD HWYTE HWARRIORS WITH NICE HWYTE WHYFUS AND 3 CHILDREN AND 30+k A YEAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1

 

PLEASE SCAM ME

dec 25 2016

merry xmassssssssssssss

hehehe i like this brand new tradition i just started where i give xmas donations to decent people. paypal or bitcoin. gave donaations today to fatherland podcast, counter-currents aka grindr greggy, NPI aka richard spencer, daily stormer aka andre, smaller dnation to good morning huhwhyte america with adam and mary. i only listened to 1 episode but i know they are great people, adam appeared several times on fatherland, and GMWA is a beautiful family-oriented husbando and waifu pro-white podcast, which is comfy AF and just good stuff. also very pro-christ hahahaha.

also gave small dnation to GEORGE FEELS and hope he reads my message talking about using small amounts of medical MJ to help with his despair, doing a skype talk one day, using myfitnesspal to count calories and lose weight, and to look moar into the alt-right. really should have given him moar than 5 dollars, but hey he works 30 hours a week hahahahahaha. more than i do!!!!!!

have now dnated 190 dollars to alt-right causes in my life hahahaha. 45 dollars was in bitcoin hahahaha.

heres the message i sent to GEORGE FEELS:

Merry Christmas George! Just found your channel this year and I can relate. Don’t listen to the haters in your comments! But I would respectfully recommend 2 things: 1. do an in-depth experimentation with the legal MJ in your state and make a series of videos fully describing your experience. I suspect that MJ, at the right dosage, can alleviate despair somewhat. 2. MyFitnessPal is a GREAT tool for measuring calories in one’s diet and exercise. It helped me lose a ton of weight fairly quickly. The main thing was that I was simply eating WAY more than I really needed! See the actual numbers helped me discipline my raging appetite haha. You should also check out more Alt-Right stuff like The Right Stuff forums, great positive group of people that can help you feel good about your legacy as a Huhwhyte Man. One day I would ideally like to have a Skype talk with you, but maybe in 2018 haha. Maybe think about recording skype talks with other like minded people. (NOT the hecklers in your comments!!!!) Take care and next time you feel like sipping the Fermented Joo, please try a SMALL dose of The Herbal Joo instead, hahaha. Best wishes to you and your family! Also, are there any young fresh off the boat Ukrainian girls arriving in your area? You could potentially show them around, hahahaha. Take care buddy.

hehehehe. arent I SO NICE???!?!?!?!

I wouldnt send him any money if he were not HUHWHYTE.

There’s a chance he could be a JQ because a lot of JQ’s came from Da Ukraine, I’ve met some IRL. But pretty sure he said something about his family being somewhat christian. of COURSHE j’s can convert to christian, and i don’t like that, but…..gonna give him the benefit of the doubt. i guess there’s a chance he might have uzbek or kyrgyz in him. also gonna give him benefit of doubt. he looks more than 50% huhwhyte. despite the brown hair and brown eyes hahahaha. if he reveals he is not huhwhyte, i will not give him anything next year hahahaha.

if he is 25% jooish and 75% huhwhyte, i would also give him the benefit of the doubt. i am remarkably generous towards quadroons who choose to identify with their huhwhyte side.

played some poker on xmas eve and had a remarkably good day. doubled from 4 to 8 basically after 3 or 4 good hands. PRAISE GOD.

hahahaha i had the first and so far only xmas day dnation to andre anglin hehehehe YOURE WELCOME. he cashed it out within 30 minutes. which is smart, considering the VOLATILITY of btc, and that its own a downswing right now. ENJOY your 6.16 USD goy hahahaha. buy fookin 6 shitburgers on christs bday. how cheap and JQ am I?????!?!?!?!?!?!?

and not many people are dnating to good morning white america at all.

that feel when you are watching the travel channel and you see a jooish gurl you used to go to jooniversity with, and now she is a phd scientist commenting as an expert for TV shows hahahahaha. then you look the tv clip and confirm it is actually the person. she is about your age. well it doesnt say PHD after her name, but she is probably a PHD hahahahahahaha.

well i didnt really hate the gurl. she was a little autistic and weird and jooish, and i knew her because she was dating an acquaintance of mine who was super weird and super autistic and rather jooish hahahaha. this was like 11 years ago. yeah she looks older of course, but it still looked so much like this woman, i had to do some internet research. confirmed it is indeed her. well good for her, i never really hated her. well, other than i was suspect that she didnt give my jooish male acquaintance a fair enough chance. he could not have been easy to date though, he was confirmed super autistic. and they dated for pretty much a long time.

see, i used to be friendly and social with Literal Joos!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

and i would give them both a pass to get out of the oven hahahaha. i wouldnt have a problem with them going to israhell tho hahahahaha.

not gonna donate any money to THEM, they are jooish professionals making like 60 grand a year each hahahaha. at least.

but yeah they werent individually wrecking nations and genociding whites and promoting degeneracy. they were pretty neurotic joos tho!

where do you get off being a BLUE EYED JOO? I just dont get or like that. I mean this gurl was not an ugly ratfaced joo. now i’m wondering, was she even really a joo? I thought she WAS, but yeah, nonugly, blue eyes, you start to wonder. maybe only half JQ?

she wasnt a horrible person though. i would spare her the oven. and him. i liked him better hahahahaha.

just an unexpected thing to see on tv on christmas while watching travel channel with the fam.

i actually sent an EMAIL to george feels because after d’nating to him, I had a concern that concerns him. not going to talk about it here, but we’ll see if he emails me back. used muh new alt right email hahahaha. maybe he will be too intimidated. i tried not to be too intimidating, overwhleming, or pushy, or overbearing.

super JQ tv station vice showed terminator 1 last night, which is a great movie, and my god was linda hamilton not bad looking when she was 24 years old. horry sheet. unfort she shows her bare bosoms like a jooish wh0re. but its a very white knighting sentimental true luv secs scene. i still dont think they should have made her show her milkers though. show true luvsecs without any nudity. other than that the movie is good and not very jooish at all. but yeah my god was she a qt in 1984. in the healthy non-woman-hating man, this will kindle a natural white knight urge. in the mgtow woman-hater, it will kindle nothing, it will make you say, fook you, i’m not gonna white knight for some damn skank, thats how they GET you.  hahahahahahaha. hell no im not gonna fall for this TEMPTRESS’S TRICKS!!!!!!!!

rather you identify with kyle reese and say yes i am going to protect this woman. i mean thats what you SHOULD do.

not resist your NATURAL urge to white knight because bitches be bitches taking advantage of this urge to get gibs! which they DO….but not all women hahahahahahahahahaha.

hmm. i mean if women were damn crafty parasites looking to scam as much gibs as possible…..they would be approaching me and trying to scam ME, thinking, what can i use this poor neet omega virgin for? but that literally NEVER happens!!!!!!!

maybe im just not good enough to even be scammed hahahahahahahahaha.  i mean ….

well i DO have resources that can be scammed!

PLEASE SCAM ME!!!!!!

hhehehehehehehe

i guess im not considered the LOW HANGING FRUIT because i am invisible and im literally NOT advertising that i have a lot of resources to easily scam. like, they’d actually have to WORK to scam me. and yeah, they WOULD. I mean I actually VET people. EXTREME VETTING. I vetted HER too. and she passed the vetting! I still wont retroactively flunk her there! because what she did was simple cowardice, not really a 180 of character, even though it FELT like it at the time, because it was SOOOOO painful.

like they say, never attribute to malice what can be explained by ignorance. or cowardice. or laziness. she was ignorant and lazy and especially cowardly, but i really dont think she was EVIL.

not gonna donate any money to HER though hahahahaha. she doesnt do anything to strengthen our huhwhyte race hehehehehe. refuses to have anything to do with me.

they say you are over someone when you just don’t care if they are with someone else. well i guess im not there yet but i guess i am kinda close. i mean i dont want to know that she is with someone else! i just dont want to hear about her EVER AGAIN.

well yeah in a way i always care. because im like b1tch, you coulda been WITH ME. damn. i just dont want to hear ANYTHING about them EVER again, unless they want to be with me.

hmm hope paypal didnt shut down my account because im not using my real name. using my alt right name, just opened this account a few weeks ago, to start sending donations under a fake name. tried to send one to TRS and it wouldnt let. either me or TRS has the prob. i would think they would have more of a problem with TRS. “h8” group receiving thousands of shekels. rather than me donating like 20 dollars to various people.

2016-12-25-18_25_00-mint-_-transactions

hahahahahahahahaha SO GENEROUS!!!! SO HUMBLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

this is how i stroke muh ego and muh conscience. i mean i am totally getting something out of it too. a lot. lets not pretend to be SELFLESS about it! the satisfaction is really THAT strong. it’s almost unfair to THEM. i get WAY more Satisfaction out of donating 5 dollars than they get by GETTING 5 dollars!!!!!

but some people wont donate to george because they feel his current videos arent really doing anything. i disagree. and i give him a LITTLE money just as a good faith thing, to put my money where my mouth is, and maybe he will take my advice more seriously. I really WOULD like to see him try some MJ, make videos about it, and i think myfitnesspal really COULD help him lose weight.

as far as getting women, i don’t even know. i’m almost as much a foreveralone virgin as him.

and i also think becoming more racially aware and alt right could help him the same way it helped me.

so i give him this advice and give him a cash tip to show I’m serious hehehe. i mean i dont think he is getting TONS of donations. i bet he gets BARELY ANY. so when somebody donates ANYTHING, he’s likely to LISTEN to them.

i mean shit. he makes more money than I do. probably TWICE as much money as me. ANd I’m donating to HIM?

want to donate ME money? send bitcoin to

13AZJj5mo4QT8UqE9A4v4cERBQ6wFuEF5d

please hahahahhahahahahahahaha.

uhhhh i dont want to give any of my paypals, i’d have to set up a third paypal for this blog, becuase i don’t want to blatantly confirm my alt right WN identity on this blog, though you can probably figure it out, and thats not even a huge deal to me. i just dont want to make it EXPLICIT, exactly because I don’t want to brag about being a neet loser basically. and being a neet loser undermines my credibility as a WN.

it doesn’t go both ways, me saying I Am A WN on this blog doesn’t undermine my credibility as a NEET……because as I neet, I by definition HAVE no credibility!!!!!!!

Neets are more Punished and Shamed than WN’s! Neets are more hated than White Racists!!!!!!!!!

heh. good thing i have both bases covered.

funny how we can see linda hamilton go from being 24 year old beautiful waifu qt, to being like 57 years old in 2016. An Old Menopausal Infertile Withered Old Hag. She’s prob not obese though. could be tho. I heard Shelley Duvall is now obese.

i am not even gonna look up 2016 photos of either of these women. even by T2 in 1996, linda hamilton had certainly lost a lot of her youthful beauty. it’s a direct function of youth!!!!!!! and that was TWENTY fookin current years ago!!!!!

have invested about 130 dollars GAMBLING since i started gambling at the bitcoin poker room in early 2014. almost 3 years. 130 dollars.  43 dollars a year. thats not horrible. i have seen people blow through like 500 dollars in 2 hours at the real casino. HORRIBLE.

dont know what else to say about that!

but i tell you what, i wouldnt mind to have the privilege to go down the street and buy some dank MJ like George Feels can hahahaha. its really weird how he doesnt really mention it. I’m sure he prob mentioned it for 1 minute, or maybe 1 comment, probably something like “i’m not interested in it” or “i tried it once and didnt like it.” but i think he should at least do a full video on it, and he hasn’t done that. he’s mentioned alcohol blatantly in the title of several videos!

and i think MJ would do him better than alcohol.

not saying he should smoke an oz a day, or get so blazed he has a panic attack. which is a very real possibility for many people, including myself, and the THOUSANDS of people who go to EMERGENCY ROOMS in colorado now that mj is legal, and people get SUPER blazed, have a panic attack, think they’re dying or having a heart attack. i’ve BEEN there, DONE that. it HAPPENS, don’t DENY it, you damn degen stoners. anyway, just saying he should take one puff, get a little blazed. better than getting drunk thats for sure.

it just seems WEIRD that a person who lives in a state with LEGAL MJ would not even TRY MJ and make a big obvious statement on it. while others of us daydream about taking a trip to colorado and smokin tons of legal MJ hahahahahahaha. i mean i might just do it. and visit george while i am there. convince him to sm0ke with me hahahahahahahaha. be like try this maaaaannnn, your life isnt getting any better, you arent getting any younger. hahahaha.

wow looks like george michael dead is NOT a hoax. died on xmas. today. kinda ironic because of his huge hit xmas song. last xmas by WHAM! of course. age 53. nothing saying cause of death. i dont think he had GRIDS tbh. maybe drugs then.

one simply does not pass away peacefully at home at age 53. coulda been cancer. that sucks worse than GRIDS. dying of cancer at 53. sheeeeeeeeit.

i mean yeah he was a gay degenerate but so many Famous People died this year. and really, george michael is not as significant as leonard cohen, david bowie, or prince. but you see what i mean. and cohen was the only one that was really OLD and dying at what i would say is a natural age.

yeah well not even degenerates deserve to die on christmas day at age 53. he had a greek name, not sure how white he was. i guess he was a greek cypriot. cypriot greek. i mean its borderline fam. the ancient greeks were absolutely huhwhyte i know. but modern greek cypriots?????? i mean the man was swarthy af. he had the thickest beard I have ever seen. he was pretty handsome tho. but degenerate. he didnt HAVE to be so degenerate.

sheeeeit i wish i had been born in like 1996. kids these days dont WANT to do drugs, they dont WANT negro secs, they WANT to be alt right traditionalists!!!!!! this new generation is interested in the old morality! and NOT in being degenerates, like my older generation was/is!!!! we were all like, yeah lets get FOOKED UP because getting FOOKED UP is FUN and FEELS GOOD and IF IT FEELS GOOD, DO IT!!!!! nothing was sacred, absolutely nothing. all women were dirty sluts. the only pleasure in this world was to get fooked up on alcohol and drugs, cuz everything else sucks.  beat off to porn, go to strip clubs, maybe bang some sluts at best.

young kids these days are rejecting this garbage, AS THEY SHOULD.

so yeah i have a lot of hope and optimism in the young kids of today, in other words. like the kids who are 16 to 20 right now, in 2016. but people who are 26 or older? fook no. they’re finished. beyond redemption.

hey i WANT to be redeemed. I am done with being a degen. HOWEVER I still want to sm0ke MJ. I’m not WILLING to give that up entirely. i want a PASS on that one. i AM willing to keep it a SECRET from the alt right hahahahaha because i totally udnerstand why they don’t like it. i wouldnt want my kids doing it. more than once a year hahahahaha.

i just need it for medicine because i am irreparably broken hahahahahaha.

i know its shameful and i dont have a problem keeping it in the closet!!!!!

but as long as i dont have it i will continue to talk about it hehehehehehe.

also i would only talk about it in the “CLOSET” of muh neet blog, and NEVER in the out of the closet on my alt right blog, which I don’t really have. I guess muh neet blog would be it!

i mean its gonna happen in the next 10 years. each state is falling one by one to the legal MJ train. and you cant just have a country where half the states have it and half dont. each of those states will EVENTUALLY vote in legal MJ. its INEVITABLE. and i am happy about that. just impatient.

well…..SHOULD i be so happy? because i can agree MJ isnt a generally GOOD thing. i just want to be the exception. so why should i want a society that encourages it? i shouldnt!!!!!!

could it be legal AND socially shamed? fook no. come on. look at alcohol and porn. those are tolerated and celebrated!!!!!! if you are an alcoholic yeah thats kinda shameful, but in every town there are bars full of people celebrating alcohol and getting drunk.

 

ALT RIGHT VVN 14VV JAYCUE

dec 14

hmmm been more busy with job related stuff that i thought. it is technically easy and almost enjoyable. but also want to impress people and show initiative and show that i am smart and prove myself and KICK ASS.

stayed up too late reading the new BERNARD CHAPIN book MAN GOING HIS OWN WAY

which according to amazon, IS supposed to be 8.5 x 11 inches big.

i mean its not perfect. he’s really not the greatest writer. and i have read BOTH his other books. he always has entertaining stories to tell and strong opinions to share, but i honestly see better WRITING from the posters on TRS or MPC. And Bern is a voracious reader and has a masterz degree, you’d think he’d write a little better. but alot of the stuff reads like a first draft.

NO MATTER. HE IS A GOOD MAN AND DESERVES YOUR SUPPORT.

Like his videos and him talking are a lot better, more engaging, than his writing. So when I read his writing, I always imagine him reading it in his style, which makes it seem better.

tons of juicy stories about his rels with women. and they are not flattering stories. tbh he comes across as an immature dick and thats why these women leave him hahahahahahahah. but they don’t really leave him, he leaves them! or he is such an asshole to them that he intentionally pushes them away! why didnt you just dump the gurl yourself Uncle B? well, he was only 19 or 20 years old so i can forgive him. Also i appreciate the honesty of him admitting to being a jealous monster. I know that feel bro hahahaha. but he was only a jealous monster once in his life, for one woman, for a few months, and then he stopped. never beat anybody up. never abused anybody. in fact he gradually lost interest in HER afterwards and she dumped him and he was HAPPY.

so yeah i cannot identify with ANY of that hahahahaha.

also if i’m reading this correctly, he has banged more women than years he’s been alive. or at least when he was 32, his number was positive. this is his “number” and i thought it was interesting. taken from hockey. forgot what its called. over under, positive negative, plus minus? basically number of gurls you banged minus your age, and hope you get a positive number, but when he was in his 20s, he had a negative number. like i would have over a -30 hahahaha. i thought it was an interesting metric hahahaha. good one bern.

Bern says matt forney was editor/proofreader, actually I think Forney is probably a better WRITER than Chapin, although a lamer GUY hahahaha. Forney is like if Chapin had never banged 30 women hahahaha. No I was reading Forney back when he was IN MALA FIDE. I am OLD FOOKIN SKOOL. I just am concerned that forney and chapin encourage each others worst habits, namely, mgtowism and not wanting a waifu hahaha. chapin has felt the innate spark within to have children so i give him credit for that, that’s what really matters. but he is dead set against a wife, and seems resigned to the fact he prob wont have children. that is too bad. i still want him to impregnate a 20 year old white gurl. MAKE IT HAPPEN.

and forney is a fat sad bastard who drinks too much and bangs nonwhite sluts. i cannot and will not approve.

but i wont crap on forney too much. he makes a living from writing and all that. i would just really like it if he got in shape and committed himself to hardcore, alt right, 1488, WN. submitted to TRS and let them mold him hahahaha.

anyway yeah the book could be better but it could be a lot worse. but i still had tons of questions:

what kind of effort did bernard make in these relships?

why did he just lose interest?

talk more about his relship with his father. his mother. his sister.

talk more about his career, graduate school. for a very very masculine man, he picked a very very feminine field!!! (psychology, school psychology.) but i don’t doubt his masculinity one bit either.

i just think he is honestly a SPERG who has some difficulty socializing. maybe. but yeah i will always feel SOME sort of connection to him because he helped me get where I am now, and I have spent countless hours listening to infernos. i mean he is a really entertaining, fun speaker.

did he ever have EXTREME DOUBTS about himself? bouts of TOTAL DESPAIR? I don’t really think so.

how did he prepare for Grad School? Were his Grad School papers better written than his books?

how is it THAT hard for him to get along with women?

talk more about male friends.

actually i think he DOES talk about SOME of this in “escape from gangsta island” which was a nice long book, I enjoyed that one too. just can’t remember the details.

Bernards a Good Boi Dindu Nuffin, would just like him to come fully over to the 1488 Alt Right and its pretty cringeworthy when he says that NSDAP/AH were total MARXISTS.  hmmmmmm. Marxist Leftists.

He talks about going on JDate in this book and he seems to be aware of J’ish identity. it was a hilarious story. his Alpha Male friend pretty much dared him to go on JDate in return for a cash loan when Bern was broke from going out with 10 women at the same time. Then he was going out with 14 women at the same time. he got so bored, berned out, frustrated, and annoyed, that he said FOOK THIS SHIT and basically RETIRED from women. Modern women are stupid, annoying, intolerable, unlikeable, I’d literally rather be alone. And he has been alone ever since hahahaha. he is definitely a very PRINCIPLED man hahaha. I just wish he had better luck with the women and met some damn DECENT women already. I think it was a mix of his stubbornness and terrible luck that did it. he saw the worst of the worst. really he should have stayed with his first GF, and not dumped her when they were 16 hahahahaha. but he said she was boring, they had nothing to talk about, nothing in common, she was just smokin hot and generally nice to him, so that was good enough for 6 months or so.

i dunno, i never dated a gurl for 6 months with regular banging, so i wouldnt know! maybe you CAN get bored with a person like that!

he is an interesting case. he says he is introverted and awkward, yet he powered through that and did “WORK”, facing his fear and approaching thousands of women, horribly and awkwardly, and was able to bang dozens of apparently awful, immature, horrible, intolerable, childish women who were not relship worthy.

i know a large part of this is him hanging around with yuppies and professionals and SWPLs in chicago.

i dunno. i just feel he was never in the right place at the right time. what if he were young NOW, with a growing alt right. even I am getting too old. thankfully I’m not THAT old. I’m not SO old that I can’t be part of the alt right. i sure wish i were 10 years younger though. better than wishing you were 22 years younger i guess. Bernard was still Slaying Poosay when he was my age hahahaha.  or maybe he had JUST become a proto-MGTOW. remember: he is “SO OLD” that MGTOW was a BRAND NEW thing when he was in his 30’s. sheeeeeit. how can you be 46 and SUPER OLD. it’s NOT super old. but now MGTOW is clearly old, outdated, tried and failed, discarded, moving on to something better. continuous improvement. still guys like me and def bernard have been molded somewhat by mgtow, will always have a mgtow streak in us. i dont think its a BAD thing.

but yeah im not as much like bernard as i thought i guess. i mean i always knew he had a TON of experience with women, but i guess this just proves it. BUT has he ever really been in a SOLID rel for 2 years or longer? I cant say. well i havent gotten to the chapter about his WIFE yet. I guess she was REALLY crazy. he jumps all around. he has barely even MENTIONED his wife yet. knowing his jumpy writing style, he might skip over the wife altogether.

I mean I should really just have a skype meeting or phone call with bernard already, he’d probably be willing.

yeah i cant think of anyone i really want to TALK to tho. I’m perfectly fine reading their books, peoples forum poasts, watching their youtube vidyas, i dont really want to have a CONVERSATION with anyone. except maybe people from TRS, MAYBE. esp local people for real life meetups. there is actually a TRS group in muh city area which I have not contacted them about at all. guess Im not really serious about the 14 words then!

Back a few months ago, i really want to talk to and have a conversation with That Woman. Now I am like meh. its DEFINITELY too late for that. it would no longer be productive. it would just be very frustrating and pointless and stupid and angering for me.

yeah i guess i wouldnt mind talking to varg vikernes. maybe weev. hahahahaha. maybe george foreveralone feels. me and him a really alike, we could have a good talk, we would understand each other. i would tell him the secret to losing weight is simply eating less. you eat 400 calories over the limit and you are still starving hahahaha. hungry all the time for a year. that’s how you lose 20% of your body weight hehehehe.

oooo i was happy about this hand:

2016-12-14-21_23_29-carom-0-01_0-02-no-limit-holdem-replay-13645490

ALWAYS happy to get NUT FLUSH and especially to DOUBLE UP on it. does not happen too often!

but yeah bernard got burned out because he was going on date after date after date with woman after woman after woman and was getting bored with their stories and it sounded like going on damn job interviews. thats no fun. he probably just needed to take a break from Dating, and then he could enjoy women more. but maybe im wrong. i mean he did date women after this!

maybe i just wish bernard would hang out with TRS, WN and alt right 1488 fascists, rather than hanging out with forney, clarey, and aurini. who are not BAD GUYS per se…….. no they are good guys, but i just gotta go with the STRONG HORSE.

not that those guys are “WEAK”….well TRS and the WN alt right are just about as strong as it gets IMHO. If they came over to this side, it would make them stronger too. doors open fellas. well they say clarey is a “technical j00” hahahaha.

AT THE DRIVE IN REUNION? i guess I shouldnt be so surprised. Jeez I should really think about going to this tho. maybe its a total sellout thing without orig members. like the black flag “reunion” hehehehe. jeez i bet it will sell out immediately. if i still knew that woman i would ask her to go and she would reject me and go to the same concert with another guy and then i might go by myself and see her there with him hahahahahaha.

no i dont think she knew of at the drive in. shit i barely know them. i just know they are hugely influential and ahead of their time and broke up too soon and led to the mars volta……but i guess mars volta isnt as huge as they were like 8 years ago eh? they used to be really big with the hip music kids.

heh. i guess this has been going on for a while and they already played in my city in summer 2016 hehehehehehe.

sheeeeit i always end up staying up too late!!!!!!

dec 15

sam hyde speaks frankly about his show being cancelled from adult swim. i have no idea what happened here. was it because sam is an alt right racist hehehehe. i mean i was surprised he even GOT a show on tv to begin with. and i would like sam to speak ideologically, i want to know what he REALLY believes. not that i suspect him, i think he probably is legit 1488 alt right.

hearing stories of successful, motivated, ambitious young students. reading press releases. an 18 year old “bad boy” goes to prison for 3 years for drug deal, gets a job afterwards, returns to skool, eager to complete a degree in engineering. maybe by age 25 he can get a 40k a year stem job and he’s spent 3 years in PRISON hahahaha.

people who switch their major 10 times by age 19 and finally settle on MATH, and are working with math faculty, plan on getting a phd in math. 20 year old girls who like the thrill of explaining advanced math to people and seeing the light bulb. a 20 year old undergrad can teach math better than many instructors with graduate degrees, even phd’s.

ironic that us smart kids used to make fun of the college as where the losers and fookups and lazy kids and trash goes, and i went to a Good University, and now I see that the 20 year old kids at the Fookup College are bigger winners than I am at age 30!

I don’t begrudge them, good for them i say, i am glad to change my Preconceived notions of the college and its students, and now I freely admit they are great people doing amazing things. I wish I had gone there when I was 20 hehehe instead of going to Good Univ.

So yeah, good for these kids. but i ENVY them, being so young and motivated and having their Shit Together. if they lose their way, they are back on their way by 25 at the absolute latest. not still fooking around at 35 hahahaha. so yeah i can only read so many Success Stories before I’m like damn. these young kids are huge winners and I’m an even bigger loser than I thought!

Having to explain to people why you didnt go to graduate skool. because you didnt like skool. because you didnt think it would be a good investment. because you werent willing to kick ass in your program. well then why should we HIRE you? why should I pick YOU as a husband and father of muh children when you arent MOTIVATED to work hard, be successful, and make even slightly above average money? very valid questions.

i mean these people aren’t really SMARTER than me, they just have a much better WORK ETHIC. working on long term goals, being persistent and resilient and never giving up. whereas i give up too easily hehehe.

yeah well but i dont really give up until I am about ready to K myself with panic hahahahaha. also, I ALWAYS try to do a good job and have GREAT attendance at jobs. when I was getting PAID, I ALWAYS tried to do my best.  also i got good grades in school, followed instructions, did the stuff on time, and high quality, did well on tests. just couldnt translate that into a career.

funny to be thinking all this when i am actually more successful than ive been in 17 months hahahahaha. but now I am seeing and hearing about all these successful young people and I am envious of them and disappointed in myself, wish i had the GUTS and the TOUGHNESS that they have.

yeah prob get really tired at the end of tonight like i did last thursday. sleep like the dead. drinking a lot of coffee today.

hmm tom petty summer tour. thats on bucket list way more than at the drive in. FIFTY DOLLARS for lawn tickets. i mean its 35 plus 15 damn dollars for all the goddam jooish fees. COME ON. i would pay 35 dollars. 50 is rougher. i mean maybe i will change my mind. not like lawn is gonna SELL OUT. i mean i should see TOM PETTY. would rather see tom petty than bob dylan. why cant petty play a medium sized theatre. more importantly, why are tickets to a goddam open air megatheatre so goddam expensive???? they should be less than 20 bucks. you can cram 100000 people in here.

varg v made an anti alt right video and i was like hmm i think me and him are thinking of different things hehehe. you need to come hang out with the TRS goys hahaha. then he started talking shit about andrew anglin and i was like ayo hol up. i like both varg and anglin of course. and i accept varg is just not gonna give an inch on his anti christian stuff. thats technically fine. then varg linked to this other guy who did this expose on anglin which is supposed the truth about why AA is an “anti white zionist shill” and sounds like some real sinead tier shit hahahaha. anyway i would like to listen to all of this and hear what he’s actually saying.

http://www.dailystormer.com/andrew-anglin-exposed/

heres anglins reponse i guess, which i already had bookmarked from months ago hehehehe

and now varg is dissing spencer because spencer associates with the joo “gottfried”? i have never heard of gottfried before today. heheheh movement drama.

official (((atlantic))) 11 minute documentary on RS came out today

posting here for posterity

suprsingly good, good stuff in there with millennial woes and william regnery, who i want to know how much money he has given to The Cause, i feel this guy is more important than he seems hahaha.

oh come on this just isnt fair hahahahaha. i am starting to really warm up to spencer finally. turns out they just did a podcast with spencer AND k1ke enoch AND andre anglin. NOICE. DOUBLE BONER hahahahaha.

maybe varg can talk shit about enoch too hahaha. i am disappoint hehehehe.

i mean really anglin should have gone to NPI. i think enoch went. or maybe sven hehehe. some trs higher ups. somebody saw the mysterious enoch in person hahaha. shit. he keeps hanging out with richard spencer and someones gonna get a damn photo of him hehehe.

heh. wonder if the trs convention in early 2017 will get press. probably will. theroretically i could try to beg trs for an invite. ideally i would like to go. that is going to be OFF THE CHAINS. i’m just wondering if media joos and antifa joos will notice and start reporting on it like they did with NPI. its possible TRS might EXPLODE in popularity at that time.

anyway now i feel impostor syndrome, and also lazy, like i’m not willing to do the outside work to learn the shit for my job. yet i read email and job related stuff all the time off the clock. but i’m not doing the MOST effective stuff, studying the HIGHEST PRIORITY stuff. and i am worried about that biting me in the ass.

not used to not being micromanaged. but i am used to receiving unclear directions and then trying to Act On them hahahahaha. not that im even GETTING that here. im still trying to figure out exactly what i’m getting….other than i can immediately tell that the people are very nice, and its going to be a lot different, in a good way, but there still are unknowns like…..i cant even say! theyre unknown unknowns! the sense of being in a new environment! it just takes time! you cant rush it! time to used muh radical acceptance hahaha.

dec 16

6 more inches of snow? will have gotten like 16 inches of snow by xmas. last year had no snow by xmas. none of these below 10 degree days for xmas. already a brutal winter and its not technical winter yet! bad news. dont know HOW i ever survived without winter boots for like 2 years (because there wasnt a lot of snow!) or especially warm winter socks (yeah this was a smart move. cant stop wearing these. try not to wear them in public or when trying to make a good impression, its just at home and errands and that type of stuff, not when i am WORKING or trying to Compete for a Wife.

had weird dream where i was visiting an old college-era friend of mine, one of those guys you will always remember fondly and be thankful for meeting. talked about him before. super cool good decent guy, super smart, great sense of humor, great personality, got phd in disgusting antiwhite cultural marxism unfort, haven’t talked to him in…..6 years. hmmm. but i will always remember him and wish him well! i hope he find a good wife and has some kids. it would be a CRIME AGAINST NATURE for him not to have at least 3 white kids. he would be a great father. Like me, he was a HIGHLY Moral, Principled man…..but he was a lot more cool about it. seemed to have it mastered a lot better, hehehe. didnt STRUGGLE so much. made it look easy. Maybe a part of this is that we both spent our youths in catholic schools, so we are Typical Catholic Assholes hahahaha. but yeah the catholics would be lucky to have this guy representing them, but I don’t think he has Gotten Back To The Church. Shit I haven’t really gotten back to the church. I just go every week and Mull Things Over and think how one can be a Catholic Alt Right White Nationalist hahahaha. Same way you can be a Degenerate Abortionist Catholic I guess hahahahaha.

mornings are for coffee and contemplation as the phaggot cop in the “Stranger things” commercial says. NO phaggot, mornings are for being SLAMMED with Urgent, Complex, Heroic, Exhausting WORK, just like afternoons and evenings hahahaha. Free at last, thank GOD ALMIGHTY hahahaha.

adorable, beautiful, and important pro-family 14 words vidya by varg. his heart is in the right place, we want the same things, he just misunderstands the alt right and anglin and spencer, but i’ll allow it because his heart is in the right place and we want the same things and he is clearly a Trve WN committed to the 14W and the things that MATTER.

to me, MY alt right is synonymous with Alt Right. For Varg it is not. he dislikes the term Alt Right; I have no problem with it. FINE. But I would be SHOCKED if he took issue wth the term WN. How could he have a problem with that term.

I should leave him a comment saying this. he would probably reply. bbbbbut I would really like to have a LIVE VOICE CHAT with him. but he’s never done one of those. no interviews, no conversations. he really SHOULD. even bernard started doing these. good for him. really TALK to people.

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC79N-Hh5_Zhs_MPLP3QzAJA

go sub to alt right andy. i don’t THINK this is andrew anglin, maybe it is, but the POINT is, this guy uploads like a best of the alt right all day every day: trs podcasts, non trs podcasts, all solid stuff, recent and older, of huhwhyte-friendly stuff that’s not on youtube, he puts it on youtube. very convenient aggregator hahahaha.

http://www.radixjournal.com/tees/official-radix-t-shirt

heh i should probably give a few bucks to richard spencer. i thought YKW aka the JQ shut down his paypal, but apparently they did NOT. also NPI is a 5013c org, which i did not know. wouldnt be surprised to see that go away.

hehehehe i just pledged 1 fecking dolla a month to both matt foney and emily youcis. i felt bad about joining trs in making fun of tubby sad thirsty forney hahahaha. he’s a good writer and he is SO CLOSE. he goes to NPI and amren. i just want to push him further though. lose weight or especially become a damn WN 1377 man. he’s almost there, he just remains deluded in not wanting to seem like a racist. and is afraid to touch the JQ too much. i mean JQ is pretty much the final red pill. there’s the people who never talk about it, and then the people who talk about it a LOT, like me hahahaha. or varg. or TRS. pretty sure spencer does too.

or its a beautiful thing to WATCH a smart white man take the JQ Redpill. we got to watch this evolution every step of the way with millennial woes. as he says in the atlantic video, 3 years ago he didnt even think about it, or was just starting to think about it. and now he has followed it to its logical conclusion. which is why i give him 50% more than i am pledging forney hahahaha.

anyway the dream i had. i was visiting my old friend for the first time in years, and to my horror, THAT WOMAN was one of like 6 people who lived in his house. I never saw that woman, just her name on a mailbox or something. my friend couldn’t be blamed, he didn’t know of her history with me.

there was i think an implication that he might be dating that woman now! this was very unclear tho. but even if that were the case, i couldn’t be mad at him, because again, he had no idea that that woman ever knew me.

thankfully i never SAW that woman in the dream. just her Spectre, hehehehe.

yeah i would prob date emily youcis even if she had great potential to have a potato body and i really hate potato bodies, or women that have such YUGE Melon Heavy Breasts that they will certainly become horrendously saggy. despite these cons she has a very QT face. and her huge breasts would be neat for the next 5-10 years at least.

i like that she

a. faced consequences for her actions, which never happens to women, ie, she took a stand and lost her friends and lost her job.

b. she repented for her past degeneracy and is moving in the right direction even after being punished for it.

pretty principled and honorable and moral for a WOMAN!!!!!

i mean most women start out good and go bad pretty fast. she started out kinda degen and then GOT BETTER. i tip muh fedora to any mlady who can IMPROVE herself like that. to say no, fook this shit, this shit is WRONG, i want to be a BETTER PERSON. so thats why emily has earned my 1 feckin dolla a month. also pretty sure i would mostly enjoy making out, secs, and cuddling with her hahaha.

if her cartoon gets more degen instead of less then i can always stop my pledge hahahaha. cuz it is a very degen cartoon. but it’s better for a woman to do a solitary, creative pursuit, than to be out there sucking, fooking, cheating, and breaking real people’s hearts. a woman who can spend time alone by herself, rather than out in the world causing damage and Relational Violence and pain and suffering hahahaha.

im aware she probably sm0ked tons of MJ and odds are maybe even banged nonwhites. did that degen thing called “smut cave.” believe me i will stop giving her 12 dollars a year if she goes back to any of that shit! but i believe people can change! i want to change too! but its def not easy!

andy griffith show. this seems pretty wholesome, huhwhyte, and nonjooish. was don knotts a joo? LETS FIND OUT.

https://anon.to/?https://www.stormfront.org/forum/t273603-2/

i support stormfront in theory as large, old community of honest pro-whites, but i dont really trust don black to manage the money. i know i donated like 2 dollars to them at some point but no more hahaha.

also if i link directly to them, they will prob find me. happened with another blog. when i was just starting to get into pro white stuff in 2010-12. i was not as directly “I AM A FULL BLOWN WN” as i am now, more like i was open to the idea. then somebody posted a thread on stormfront pointing out muh blog, linking to it. did not generate any responses thank god.

anyway stormfront says don knotts was NOT jooish, but one guy had to have a post saying andy griffith is not as wholesome as it seems, and is in fact subversive, perverted jooish trash hahahaha.

they say don knotts’ comedy style was jooish, pure catskill borscht belt shit, and the AG show producer was aaron ruben, a yuge J.

i’ll allow these arguments hahahaha. not NOT an argument hehehehe.

born in west virginia to english stock. pretty sure west virginia is the huhwhytest state in the US. I should srsly move there. not even joking.

anyway point is, don knotts seems like a nice honest man to me. maybe he was self deprecating because he was short and petite, not because he was worshipping jooish comedians.

honestly once you take the Joo pill, theres no going back hahahaha. you see EVERYTHING through that lens. and i think thats a GOOD thing.

heh. went to catholic church for standard xmastime confession service. i never ever do the thing where you confess your sins in the confessional, havent done that since i was like 12 hahaha. usually do this thing where you write your sins on a small piece of paper, give it to the priest, they bless you right there without really reading the paper, put the paper in a metal garbage cans, then burn them at the end. symbolic. well that is a bit of a controversial procedure in that some higher ups dont agree that its a proper trve confession. might be heresy hahaha. so this year there was a more proper “group reconciliation” thing where they had 5 priests, and you lined up and actually TALKED TO THE PRIEST for 2 minutes confessing your sins in person. so i was nervous about that. did it anyway. no worse than the phone calls i had to take 20 times a day for muh job hahahaha. just ramble autistically about how i am selfish and judgemental and racist and sexist and lustful and lazy and hateful and a complainer and lukewarm and judge everybody etc etc etc.

http://archive.is/TX6mq

paul gottfried, richard spencers jooish “mentor.” article in the tablet, a ridiculously jooish journal, nov 2016, which charges 180 dollars a YEAR to be able to COMMENT on their WEBSITE. WOW. I CANT EVEN. I AM LITERALLY SHAKING RIGHT NOW.

http://www.frontpagemag.com/fpm/263988/some-observations-man-who-created-alt-right-paul-gottfried

gottfried himself writes an article, not gonna blame him for that stupid title tho. TLDR hahahaha. he admits to at one time being a friend of spencer. well does spencer admit to being a friend of him? i dont even care if he is hahahaha. i mean this gottfried is probably one of the good joos. hes still gotta go back tho. even the good joos must go back. the bad far outweighs the good. kinda like blacks and muslims and browns and mestizos hahahahahaha and nonwhites in general.

uh oh getting prejudiced and judgemental again, better watch out or i will have to go back to confession hahaha.