THE NEET CURE

dec 26 2016

welp the wholesome part of the holidays is over, now everyone is just gonna get drunk and fook like negros until they have to go back to Work on January 2 hahahahahahah.  and those are the lucky privileged people. More people will just continue to work as they do every other day. maybe struggle with drug and alcohol problems so they can keep their shitty jobs which make them work during the busiest time of the holidays, serving shitty customers. its enough to make a person want to abuse drugs and alcohol!

i think california getting legal MJ is a big deal, i mean its kinda surprising they didnt have it until now. maybe they needed smaller states like CO, WA, and OR to act as a pilot program before CA really threw open the gates.

i mean its possibly a bad thing, leading to an even more degenerate society. but one day it will make it 600000000000000000000 times easier for ME to obtain it. me me me me me. fook the greater good.

i think it should be legal, but SHAMED. i said earlier this might be impossible, but is it really? look at cigarettes and tobacco for example. those have been shamed pretty well. or have they? has that really worked in getting people to choose to buy/smoke less cigarettes? probably a little bit, and thats all that matters.

should you tax the shit out of MJ then? well, in that it might be an incentive for govt to legalize it, yes, but I have no faith that the tax money would be used for ANYTHING good. it would ALL be wasted on bullshit. i understand that. im just looking at the tax as purely an incentive for The Gummint to Legalize It.

and against i dont see this as some big crusade for justice, because it is a mixed bag. i’m not sure it…..well it probably SHOULD be legalized, but shamed as fook. shamed even more than cigarettes. which are currently more shamed than alcohol or porn.

but you can still get tobacco EVERYWHERE, and you have plenty of tobacco shops which themselves are not sleazy. well not all of them hahahaha.

i guess i would also take, instead of full legalization, then the state expanding its Qualifying Conditions for MMJ to Despair or Anxiety, hehehehe.

there already IS a NEET CURE, it’s called the MILITARY, thats ALWAYS been the NEET CURE. but I think this aspect has been played down in the past 20 years, and the military is pretending like they are moar selective, and they dont necessarily WANT neet losers. but they will prob take neet losers. provided you’re not too fat and provided you never took psych meds like prozac or paxil or citalopram hahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha.

george michael, dead of “heart failure.” well thanks that explains a lot hahahahahaha. i could have told you that. i guess thats better than cancer tho! but was it heart failure from, for EXAMPLE, mixing coke and pills and booze and painkillers and heroin and meth? that will cause heart failure for sure hahahaha. probably some MJ in there too hahahaha.

just waiting for another 20 bucks of bitcoin to transfer into coinbase so i could hopefully sell it at 901. because i have to move everything back and forth from coinbase, because they are jooish and watch exactly where you send your money, meaning no gambling and i would assume no Darknet Markets hahahahahahahahahaha. they scolded me for sending it to gambling. i have NO IDEA how they found out. considering I thought the gambling site used separate wallets for each gambler!

over 1 hour and 0 confirmations. didn’t even modify the fee.  this is why bitcoin will never take off. good idea though. just need something with FAST confirmations and ideally some way to send messages with the money. like hey guy this money is from UFMLL. remember me because i’d like you to know i donate money to you every 3 months. i am a true blue cobber m8. you can count on me. im not some kind of hypergamous mercenary who’s gonna leave you in the lurch. i am a MAN OF HONOR(tm) (great phrase from Chapin book MGHOW). wihtout having you have to make notes and search weird addresses jsut to try to identify somebody, and what if it changes your address every time? or you having to send a email before you send every transaction is probably the easiest way to identify yourself. still not very practical IMHO.

you know i am very optimistic about our young kids with 1488 blood pumping thru their veins. they dont even have the DESIRE to take MJ. I feel the desire EVERY DAY. I know it’s wrong but I think I can GET AWAY with it. I think the rules dont apply to me. I think I can just keep it in the closet and be an exception. but really I am envious of those who dont even WANT it. i wish I didn’t WANT it. but shit do I ever.

went for 1.4 mile powerwalk, not bad.

so anyway, i should NOT become an outspoken activist for the legalization of MJ, because its degenerative for huhwhyte society.

ok so whats the best military route for white neets? i honestly cant say. some say we want our white warriors on the frontlines. i would say study something hard and technical where only white men pass the exam, and get yourself into a safe all white male unit doing technical shit.

heh havent been to this horrible site in a while but this guy was dumped, was just devastated. people give him decent advice that WHY never helps, never gives closure. but its also very hard not to ask why. because youre willing to do anything to fix it, to make them change their mind. but they just wont. that never works. just let them go. fook yes its hard as SHIT. will make you want to sm0ke MJ for the next 2 years hahahaha.

hehehehe

why dont any gurls want a second date with me? im not a racist hater, i don’t like that racist trump! i dont have any wrongthink! why arent women interested in me at all?

yet the same gurls who are rejecting him are probably getting fooked by ebil trump voting racists hahahaha.

dec 27

heh. now i remember why i stopped reading /relships. because it is a woman-dominated space, and these women are annoying and stupid af. but they think they are SO smart, about relships, about men and women, but they know nothing. about men, abotu women, OR about relships. that is why they are high number crazy carousel riding catladies who cant keep a man hahahahaha. so how do they make 60k a year at their high powered careers then? AND have time to read and poast on reddit?

but yeah obviously this guy needs to Explicitly Ask for a Second Date on Saturday at 7pm and he would have more success. getting a second date at least hahahahaha.

but i mean yeah a bitch being texting on her phone the whole time during your date implies they are not interested. i mean its rude. but they just dont KNOW any better. at age 25 they dont know this is rude. and you’re THIRSTY and DESPERATE enough that you still WANT a second date with a RUDE woman who texts and sexts during the whole first date and is too stupid to even KNOW that’s rude.

ARrrrrgh this makes no sense! Who can I ask for clarification here? who’s the SME for this Subject Area?………..you mean I’M THE SME? IM THE EXPERT? BBBBBUT I have no idea how this works! I need an SME to help ME! I can assure you, I am absolutely no EXPERT in this! I know MUCH less than the USERS!!!!!!! why can’t we appoint one of them an sme?

welp, you better learn it fast, because it looks like you are the SME.

i can’t believe this is how things actually really work with large, successful businesses.

well, my business was in a Failure Phase tho. and if they dont pull out of it, they will end up selling the company.

you can sell a publicly traded company btw. prob need to cash out all the stock though. or maybe you can get out of that with bankruptcy. leave your stockholders in the lurch hehehehe. who knows. im no JQ bankruptcy attorney. though you can make good money in that career.

but it takes a certain TYPE to be a LAWYER. there are a few good huhwhyte lawyers like toilet law and this other guy. but i bet they are in the minority.

benedryl sleep last night, had dream featuring 2 female friends i had in muh crazy uni days. i was with one female friend reviewing a video of myself and the second female friend, and i was like, wow, its plain as day, look at her body language, she clearly wants the D, but its so weird I didn’t notice that at the moment, and had to see a video playback. hmmm. maybe I SHOULD give her the D. interesting idea.  I mean its really not a HORRIBLE idea. yeah i’m hung up on this other gurl, but some casual fook buddy secs might be good. and if its not, at least we can say we tried. lets give it a try.

and of course this never happened in real life. IRL I WAS too hung up on this “angel” i was in luv with, that I didnt’ even want anyone else, and I was even making female friends at the time who were arguably attractive women (21, 22 year old women! I should think so!!!!!) but I honestly had no interest in them in that way. but maybe i should have pushed myself towards being Casual Fook Buddy with at least one of them hahahahaha. how would that have played out? I will never know.

but this dream got me thinking. maybe that could have worked. me, doing a degen casual secs, fook buddy, FWB thing. whoda thunk it.

but yeah i put these other luv interests on such a pedestal, that i couldnt even THINK of other women.

i guess it was similar when i first met That Woman. I was still heartbroken over women2012 and couldnt even THINK of being with another woman.

And its ok to feel that way hahahahahahah. my feelings were valid. i don’t really REGRET not trying to bang that female friend hahahaha.

its so weird looking back on it. she was not just a leftist, but a leftist activist, and she was kinda a SLUT, she had told me about times she “HOOKED UP” with guys drunk at a party, i think she even said she had fooked a BLACK guy, and I knew she was a “little bit” crazy, (in hindsight I think very likely bipolar), but i also accepted her for who she was, and didn’t really judge her too harshly. we got along well and never really any tension. i kind of felt PITY for her having these meaningless relships. she was “dating” this guy tho and it was a CLUSTERFOOK. she wasnt happy and he wasnt happy and I just couldnt tell WHAT was going on. i still dont know.

anyway she went on to be a successful lawyer (hahahahahaha) and somewhere in there found a decent man, but I dont think that lasted, and she had some legit family tragedy, and I think went crazy and possibly had a breakdown, and did a complete career change and is doing pretty good with that. much better career than me hahahaha.  i mean she was always ambitious and a hard worker. is not gonna get lazy and slothful and despairing and neetish. but its the bipolar which will be a real risk for her. anyway i wish her well, she’s not a bad person.

so interesting. i can know a lot of shady details about a womans shady past and NOT be judgmental, say she’s NOT a bad person. when you would THINK I would judge her SAVAGELY. NOPE. it’s DIFFERENT when I actually know a person in real life. i give them the benefit of the doubt.

but yeah i was never in luv with her. but several people wondered if we had something going on. we did not hahaha. i was not really interested. but in hindsight, she was not unattractive, and it probably would have been good to try to get some Experience with her. while of course Respecting her decision if she didn’t want to hahahahaha. but she used to get REALLY ridiculous when drinking, even moreso than me. I would just fall down drunk. she would actively do crazy shit. including probably fook guys. black guys hahahahahahaha.

i actually met her father! he seemed like a good guy, was very successful, good father daughter relship, but pretty sure he was bipolar too. which became a problem for the whole family.  but yeah i think this is better than the alternative of an abusive or deadbeat father. he was successful and his children were successful even if his marriage failed.

but just making the point that she didnt become a crazy slut because she had a terrible father.  i think her father was pretty GOOD…..he was just legit CRAZY. she was too. but they both managed it pretty well. until they didnt. well, she’s doing allright. but he isn’t. it’s SAD!!!!!!!!!

so yeah. good people can be totally sidelined by Mental Illness. I totally believe it. I get it. I understand.

so yeah i wish her well, hopeyouredoingwell.wav, and that she safeguards herself against the bipolar condition. imho getting out of LAW was a good move. she can find other Careers to make Good Money. everyone I went to Uni with seems to have no problem makign good money! with me being the lone exception of course hahahaha.

selling the last of my bitcoin. huge. rally. to the moon. very bullish. sold at 890 yesterday, sell the last of muh btc at like 930ish today. and if it goes higher, OH WELL, im all tapped out.

ok sold it. done. no more bitcoin left. except 1 dollar in a btcjam account from deadbeats slowing paying me back on microloans. us citizens are now barred from loaning any more. oh well. it wasnt a great system for me anyway hahahaha. good riddance.

hehehhehehe this is starting right now. i would have shit my pants over this a few years ago. its a good move for roosh to move towards more serious men like uncle bern.  but both seem naive for just not reading the writing on the wall already. JQ. Race. WN. move past MGTOW shit. find a traditional woman. roosh go back to persia and stop ruining white women.

hehehe roosh really looks like a mudslim isis terrorist with that huge beard. i guess im glad he got TIRED of banging white sluts and realized there was more to life than MUH DICK.

with my superior white mind, i came to that conclusion and didnt even have to bang ANY white sluts!

and yeah i kinda envy him for having success with my race’s women where I have had NONE. literally. all the women i have had any success with have been nonwhite joos hahahahahahahahaha.  even white trash fatherless sluts reject me in favor of blacks and criminal toughguys.

well good riddance, i will go be a mgtow and get a damn realdoll HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA jk.

heh maybe bernard will become a WN in a few years. everybody moves at their own pace hehehehe. you cant really RUSH people.

ideally roosh would just marry a persian woman, have persian children, and repent for his past degeneracy, and encourage Racial, Noncivic Nationalism. encourage all his white male fans to become WN’s. Roosh is not a dumb guy. and he is gradually moving in the right direction.

but there are so many white omegas out there who can only think about women women women women women women women. i used to be one of them hahahahahaha. i STILL think about women ALL THE DAMN TIME. but now i keep Sex in its proper perspective – subordinate to RACE. whereas these mens movement people would disagree with that totally. and say race doesnt matter nearly as much as sex.

yeah sex does matter a lot. but race matters more.

just dump him and replace him with a better man! that is the answer to all womens relship problems. we men mean NOTHING to women. they are the REAL haters hahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahaha. women hate men WAYYYYYYYYYYYY more than men hate women. women MEAN a lot to men. Men mean NOTHING to women. hahahahahaha. ok thats an example of the type of thoughts i don’t want to have, and ideally would refute them with a convincing rebuttal.

Have you ever had Anal Sex with a man you knew for less than 2 weeks? less than 1 week? how many men?

in the questions to ask your prospective wife hahahahaha. ideally you should not know these men less than a year. buttsecs is a BIG DEAL and should not be given out willy nilly. yet these beautiful white 22 year old gurls are quickly becoming ANAL WHORES!!!!!! BUTT SLUTS!!!!!!!!

would you want your DAUGHTER becoming that?

or do you just not care, all you care about is muh dick and muh drugs and muh alcohol? like a negro!!!!!!

just call them white n199er5.wav hahahahahaha

yet my female friend from 11+ years ago did all sorts of DISGUSTING things, and I dont hate her for it!

i wasnt in luv with her though!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

could I have been? maybe. anythings possible. but i knew all those unsavory things about her already, learned them pretty quickly, whereas That Woman didnt have any of those Disqualifiers.

and i STILL trust that That Woman wasnt HIDING anything. she was a trustworthy person. which made losing her very hard! and she still is trustworthy! she was and is a decent, valuable, good person! its really hard to lose that! it’s a lot easier to lose a total piece of shit!

anyway.  its all over. its finished. RIP.

but yeah. i am thankful for the few female friends i have had, i continue to learn from them 11 years later hahahaha. so yeah i hope that woman is doing well. that she finds a good man. although she would be hard to deal with. i dont think i’d want to. heck its possible she became a lesbian hahaha. but i dont think so.  but yeah she did disgusting things and i dont think any less of her as a person.

but yeah i didnt want to Be With Her and make babies with her and make her my waifu. at all hahahaha. whatsoever. i would have laughed at the thought. there was not that kind of Romantic Luv. I guess it could have developed. but now we are talking hypotheticals.

i mean what if she werent dating that guy? what if she was more “gf-ish” and sweet to me?  i mean she was nice to me but in that just one of the guys sort of way. and since i wasnt looking for any more from her, i didnt mind at all.

but yeah, bottom line, she was a good person and deserves good things and good people, but she was a little bipolar, but that shouldnt count against her. she could still be a good white wife and mother (and i hope she does!), provided she didnt screw it up.

she was weird though. she might not even WANT kids. she strikes me as possibly being one of those Weird Women that just has no desire to have children.

anyway my final word on her is that she is a good person and i hope she is doing well.

looked at hookers on backpage. technically that is not the same as looking at pron. i found at least two white hookers that caught my interest. 90% of the women were disgusting blaq hookers hehehehehe. not that the white ones are not white trash, but my god, i cant even imagine the type of man who would PAY these blaq women in the pictures, i mean they often looked fat and horrible.

funny that the majority of the white hookers BLATANTLY said no black men. so they are race aware and have a preference against black men, where Regular White Nonhooker Women do NOT! they are equal opportunity Cvm Bvckets!

well, as hookers, these women see the absolutely shadiest men right? so they probably saw tons of shady ghetto thug black men, not  talented tenth black men hahahaha. and arent the WHITE men they see shadier than the average white man? what kind of man uses hookers anyway?

Basically every man I know has been to a strip club. no big deal there. I heard of one guy who got drunk once and somehow a stripper offered to Suck His D for a price and he said ok sure i’ll pay 80 bucks for that! i dont think he found that all too horrible but it also wasnt the type of thing he did normally.

when i was in Uni a hedonist, sensualist acquaintance of mine talked about banging a hooker in amsterdam. this guy was a free luv kinda hippie type and very handsome, didn’t really NEED to bang hookers. i think he was just a sex freak and just honestly wanted to bang a hooker because it WASNT a normal nonhooker.

I heard about a middle aged alcoholic who would occasionally bang hookers. this kinda made the most sense. he was like 50 something, didnt want to waste time chatting with women, he had money from a business he miraculously ran, and he spent his money on booze and hookers. fantastic. TERRIFIC hahahaha.

i’ve known men who regularly go to strip clubs and it is PATHETIC. I have no desire to go to a strip club ever again. I would MUCH rather just hire a hooker for 30 minutes. strip clubs are just disgusting jooish places.

and yeah obviously i would rather be In A Rel with That Woman than ever go to a hooker. Still not over her! it will take about 2 years. but i am closer than i’ve ever been to getting over her. really all it will take now is meeting The Next Woman. I need to MEET WOMEN. and if that means going on fookin ok cupid, then thats what i have to do.

yep that FUATH – I album is really good. very listenable. dont even CARE if its a drum machine. album of the month hahahaha. dec 2016.

also looked on craigslist and backpage for “420” or “medical cannabis” or that type of thing. found some stuff, looked shady and or they blatantly said, you gotta have your card. which i’m sure they HAVE To say!!!!!!!

https://twitter.com/belledejour_uk/with_replies?lang=en

oh god heres a terrible woman. “sex worker” who got a phd in biology or some shit and is horribly sex positive and some of the trs goys are bullying her. GOOD! she is a monster. and jooish hahahahaha. OF COURSHE.

these women with phds in casual sex. fooking like negros. that is literally what their phd is in. then they make 600000000000000 tweets a day about how good casual sex is. ABSOLUTELY DISGUSTING.

 

DONT SEPARATE THINGS THAT SHOULDNT BE SEPARATED

oct 26

ok  done with interview for PT 15 an hour job. 1500 hours a year max. 24 to 32 hours depending on the department. 3 openings, 3 diff departments. one is def more customer oriented. hope they dont pick me for THAT one because i said i was good at dealing with difficult customers. yeeeesh.  yikes. oy vey. so just do a shitty job, quit, and never work for this org again hahahaha when it is DEF one of my Top Orgs To Work For. great benefits, close to home, unfireable, stable secure job, union.

talked to 3 people, including a handsome young man who i learned is about 3 or 4 years younger than me and he has a Controller position, because he Chose A Good Life with Hard Work, and has a BS in Accounting, an MBA with focus on Taxation, a CPA, so hence he’ll always have a GREAT job. why didnt I just Be Like Him. I joked that I did poorly on the accounting portion of the test, but that I was just rusty and I can brush up on my Accounting Fundamentals.

3 people in the room grilling me hahahahaha. no they were all nice enough. I got emails from all. i have def gotten better at that. just getting emails from EVERYONE in the room.

i need a full 20 ounce mug of strong coffee JUST TO GET OUT OF BED IN THE MORNING to be somewhere at 8:30 am hahahahaha.

meaning i pour the mug the night before, leave it on my table next to the bed, set alarm 15 to 20 minutes before i want to get up, then drink the coffee while laying in bed and watching weather and news, then pull self out of bed.

i would NOT want to still have to MAKE the coffee. I just want to REACH out of bed and GRAB a full mug of awesome room temperature coffee thats been sitting out all night. this truly does make it a lot easier to get up. i have been doing this for years. i dont regret it one bit. i RECOMMEND it to ANYBODY.

interview was at 9 am, i got there at like 8:15, i like getting their SUPER early and prepping in the car.

actual interview was less than 30 minutes. they didnt rush me PER SE, but i got the impression there were other people waiting. plus its a part time job hahahaha. i said As You Can Imagine, my ultimate goal is a FT job with this org, would this PT person have access to The Secret Internal FT Postings? yes yes they would.

anyway thats it for this week. did not get great sleep last night. i mean i can TOTALLY get used to getting up EARLY in the morning……but it HAS to be REGULAR. i need a ROUTINE. after a few days or a week of that, i will get used to going to bed earlier and getting up at 6am, 5am. shit i got up at 6 am today to get ready for being there at 9am.

so if i got this other job that starts at 8 am, id have to get up a FIVE am every day. well especially cuz that one is further away. a whopping 14 miles away. this place today is only 4 miles away. also i get up SUPER early, ive NEVER been a sleep in as late as possible and Rush To Work in the NIck of Time. downside is that eats up valuable sleeping time.

/r/relships. i cant stop reading it, its SO ridiculous. some of it is good, some of it is fooking awful.

it DOES NOT help that 80% of the shit is by women for women. i wish there was a relship sub for men by men. it makes a big difference. cuz women dont know what theyre talking about, ever. hahahahahaha. terrible judgment, terribly wrong. WRONG. hahahaha. WRONG.

heh. the other bad thing about getting up early is, you are now awake 16 hours a day and have to figure out how to eat only 1200 calories. you are Hungry More because you are too used to Sleeping through those hours when you are hungry. like its 11am and i am STARVING even though I had some Cereal around 7 am. 350 calories. shit. 390 calories cereal and milk.

degree in account, masters in taxation, cpa. this is fooking AWESOME. i hear the masters in tax is one of the better masters you can get. this guy formerly worked with a well known accounting firm for 5 years. kinda surprised he is working where he is now. youd think it would be beneath him.

now he did not go to a name school………but the school he went to is actually kinda well regarded for accounting. which is exactly what he did. why didnt i choose that life hahahahaha.

i just saw him and i was like WHOA this guys the CONTROLLER? hes a KID!!!!!!!!!!

I guess there is Financial Director who is one step above him though.

see the stupid women would say this si just fine, stop trying to control her, you jealous abuser.

not even seeing that essentially the male FWB rejected her because SHE wanted MORE, and now they’re still just friends and hang out and talk constantly.

DONT SUCK A GUYS DICK ON THE THRID DATE!!!!! THATS DEGENERATE!!!! NIHILISTIC!!!!!!!!!

that was a different one hehehe.

its not INTENTIONALLY nihilistic. i mean they think its about FUN and who knows this might turn out to be the one, but lets just have some spontaneous fun in the moment.

fun fun fun fun fun fun fun. all about fun. muh dick.

i mean yeah its HEDONISM not nihilism per se, but IMHO hedonism is pretty damn nihilistic at root. i mean women arent capable of understanding that, most men arent either. but all white men are capable. nto sure about white women. maybe some are capable. ive never met one hahahahaha. no thats patently false, i certainly have met decent, nonhedonistic women that werent all muh dick muh dick muh clit muh orgasms muh fun casual fwb secs.

jeff daniels looks like slavoj zizek in this movie hahahahahaha

i mean is zizek really THAT cool? probably not, folks, probably not. why the hell did i ever like him in the first place? because he spouted pseudointellectual crap. that at its core is JOOISH as hell: critical theory, frankfurt skool POISON. but he made getting a phd in philosophy seem really Sexy to a 21 year old.

SIXTY dollars to see nick cave? thats almost as bad as fifty dollars to see morrissey. but i like nick cave a lot better. but thank god i have already had the PRIVILEGE of seeing nick cave. not many people can say that hahahahaha. and it was an even more outstanding show than you would expect. i almost DONT want to see him again because that is a high standard to exceed. also i dont really like his new album. but i should see him just to see him right? but 60 bucks? damn.

imean if it were tom waits I totally would. or neil young, in a theater of this size, with crazy horse for SURE, and hopefully less than 60 bucks.

not many people on muh bucket list. maybe bob dylan but thats a big maybe.

well tom petty would be nice. yeah id go see him. but prob not for 60 bucks. or in a gay ass outdoor theater full of drunk trash.

who else. maybe some black metal. or metal in general. judas priest, iron maiden, never saw them, missed shows by both in the past year, too lazy. i mean i had the TIME!

yeah i would pay 80 bucks to see darkthrone hahaha. or varg vikernes. or muh buddy mikko.

anyway.

i might have been ok with casual secs if i had ever had any sort of FWB thing work out. for example, women2004 and 2005, they just wanted casual dating ie secs ie casual FUN. I was like NO i want a serious rel so they dumped me because they didnt WANT a serious rel.  BUT I could have gotten a LOT of secs out of them if I had just said lets keep it casual. so in hindsight i wish i had done that, just so i could have had a lot of secs with some qt young gurls. instead i had secs like 2 times. better than nothing but still.

i mean theyre not horrible people for wanting what they want and rejecting me because i wasnt that. well, beyond the fact that what they wanted is………….pretty degenerate. but then again, some of my wants are pretty degen too, like wanting to smoke MJ, or being open to casual secs. (but not actively seeking it out.)

but i am so inexperienced with secs, that i automatically confuse secs with feelings.

THIS ISNT REALLY “CONFUSION!” ITS THE NATURAL WAY! IT IS RIGHT AND JUST AND NORMAL!!! WHATS NOT NORMAL IS THE PEOPLE WHO TRY TO UNTANGLE THEM!!!!!

DO NOT SEPARATE WHAT THE LORD HAS BOUND TOGETHER!!! hahahaha.

or, DONT SEPARATE THINGS THAT SHOULDNT BE SEPARATED!!!!!!!!! if you prefer that.

young girls wanting casual sex, and old men wanting serious feelings secs.

SEX IS INHERENTLY INTIMATE, IT IS BAD TO TRY TO MAKE IT CASUAL. IT CANT BE CASUAL.

that ultimately is the END OF DISCUSSION.

so yeah me and these women had Incompatible Values.

AND they made an EFFORT to give me Common Courtesy and Respect when they Dumped me! they made an effort not to add insult to injury! so i appreciate that now.

DONT ADD INSULT TO INJURY!!!!!!!!

maybe i should become a Christian Counselor. there are tons of them. is it any easier than becoming a Non Religious Counselor? as far as degrees, licensing, etc.

i cant see it being any easier getting a license from the state, but i could be wrong.

if youre being charged with a heinous crime, WHY NOT perjure yourself rather than taking the 5th amendment hahahaha.  just watching law and order. i guess this show could inspire a young person to become a cop or a lawyer.

anyway i never stalked her. dont know why i have to PROVE this. i guess because the women of reddit would say that sending emails is STALKING.

yeah ok i DID send probably too many emails, but after a month of that, I was DONE. FINISHED. COMPLETELY.

I sent 4 emails in 1 month. 3 of them were pretty long. does that make me an evil stalker? no it just makes me sad and desperate and pathetic.

also if she had said stop sending me emails, i probably would have hahahahaha. or maybe just sent one more hahahaha.

the worst i did was crane my neck to try to look for her car in the parking lot of her workplace as i drove by the workplace which was ON the most direct route to my destination. and if i get that job then i wont go 2 miles out of my way just to NOT drive by that other place every day. i might even crane my neck again. but its not like im pulling into the parking lot and sitting there waiting for her!!!!! that WOULD be creepy!!! i dont WANT to be a creep! but also women think everything is creepy. plus i can totally understand why men do creepy things.

anyway. i guess i would like sluts more if i had more benefits from those sluts. but really womens Sexual Desire has led them away from boring old me. I am always at odds with Female Sexual Desire, Fighting it, trying to keep it from straying away from me, trying to hold on to it.

yeah i guess i am TRYING too hard. you should have to TRY this hard to “maintain somebodys interest” in you.

but yeah i am now done with my week o interviews and can start applying to jobs again hahahaha.

i mean TWO of these three jobs I would REALLY like. these are some strong jobs to get your hopes up for.

how have i never seen this dark haired woman cop on law and order. she is very attractive, would bang/10. but is she jooish? this is like early 2000s, she is partner with black male cop, hopefully doesnt mudshark with him, sam waterston is still the DA. i think this is just Straight Up Regular Law and Order, not SVU or any of that.

milena govich. obvious a yugo sort of name. potentially jooish. wiki says serbian (and scottish.) well yeah the NAME is SERBIAN, just like STEIN is GERMAN. thats not what Im ASKING hahahahahahahaha.

2006-7, det nina cassidy.

i just dont know. i think she is a goy but you never know with these sneaky J’s, ive been fooled before. i would casually bang her while waiting for the 23 and me results HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

YES I have a FILTER, I know what things you should and should not say around WOMEN. I wouldnt say ANYTHING I say on here around women.

but yeah i dont want to be a creep, or a niceguy, or an abuser, or the jealous type, or a controller, or any of that stuff. but maybe i AM ok with being a “woman hater” hahahaha i mean how can any woke man not be hahahaha.

maybe i like proving to them that i have good enough social skills so they cant slander me as creepy. i dont say or do inappropriate things, but my god do i judge the hell out of women when they are not around.

and i dont feel bad about judging women. i dont mind being called a Woman JUDGER!!!!!! i mean thats what i do, i judge women!!!!!!

but in the social world, I treat them with respect. EVEN IF THEY DONT DESERVE IT!!!!! i really wouldnt treat ANYONE with disrespect until after they treated ME with disrespect.

i mean everyone makes mistakes, even That Woman doesnt deserve to be hurt even though she hurt me, because she didnt have intent, and even if she DID, it would still be better karma for me to just Let It Go, and no i dont want her to get hurt really bad. i mean i would like her to learn a lesson. but she was just stupid and weak, i was stupid and weak, and ultimately i was the one who got hurt more, a lot more.

now i mean feel different about someone who did something MORE hostile and intentional, like cheating or accusing me of abuse or something. totally lying and betraying me.

i dont do sketchy or bad shit with women. i dont DO anything really immoral. the most immoral i get is have JUDGEY THOUGHTS. i dont have thoughts about hurting or abusing or mistreating women. I just have thoughts of jdugement and disgust and contempt. but i dont ACT on these thoughts! I try not to do ANY immoral actions! because MORALITY is VERY VERY IMPORTANT to me!!!!!!!

1200 CALORIE DIET!!!!!

i guarantee you. if you eat only 1200 calories a day, you WILL lose weight even without exercise.

you will also be hungry at all times.

well some say 1200 for women, 1800 for men. that 1200 is the absolutely healthy minimum for WOMEN, who need less calories than men anyway.

so maybe 1200 is not even Healthy For Me. well, moot point now that I blew right by it by 150 calories and also today is muh cheat day too and i will be eating again later!

 

 

incel neet virgin 26 year old brother is resentful of his 20 year old NORMIE brother who can get a GF hehehehe. reddit shames the incel neet as a creepy woman hater, anyone who “unironically uses the word NORMIE after high school” is one of these hahaha.

now i dont MIND being friends with women like this guy seems to……but im not sure having Women Friends makes you any more likely to make a woman want to Be With you in a secsy way. you just get the friendzone hahahahahahahahaha. you can relate to women as human beings to your hearts content….in the friendzone hahahaha.  but yeah i guess i’ll admit that when you have a woman friend, it DOES make them seem more human, less alien, more knowable. but it makes all the more THIRSTY for a gf too. because youre like well now i actually KNOW a woman, this isnt so bad! but now I REALLY REALLY REALLY want a GF! I had forgotten what its like to even be NEAR a woman and to have a woman show ANY INTEREST in me! it feels good and i want what the NORMIES have!

anyway i am not as bad as that guys brother. i can control myself around women at least and dont do anything really creepy. plus i had secs once 12 years ago with the help of alcohol hahahahahahaha.

the first time he saw a tit? hasnt he ever watched jooish porn? not that i recommend it.

does he have a JOB? is he EMPLOYED? surprised this was never mentioned by the commenters. probably not, hes prob a damn neet.

i mean just like having a gf or at least a fwb is the litmus test of a NORMIE, so is having an at least average job. making at least 13 bucks an hour.

well, we did have some incels making 15 an hour at my last job hahahaha.

reddit. a bunch of damn degenerate nonvirgins SHAMING the morally superior virgins and calling them creepy and disturbed and elliott rodger, just because they dont fook like a bunch of NEGROES hahahahahaha.

these “social nerds” are an interesting bunch, i knew a lot in university. they were “weird” and “anti establishment” and “non conformist” but they were FAR from social outcasts, and had a ton of friends, and GF’s, sex experience, Relship experience, all from a young age, and turned out being successful normies with wives and children hahahahahaha.

NORMIES.

DIRTY NONVIRGIN NORMIES hahahahahaha.

PIGS, DOGS, DISGUSTING ANIMALS hahahahahahahaha.

” He’ll never figure out how to get a girlfriend until he starts treating women like people rather than games that you have to win to get romance and sex. ”  hehehehe but……….its that accurate? except they are not as fun or easy as a game. its a frustrating sick game.

well not even. the “game”, as designed by god/nature, its not sick. its sensible, and technically fair. it’s not pretty though. and it REALLY sucks to be on the losing end. and it REALLY sucks when Women Deny Their Privilege.

i guess thats just like ME denying WHITE privilege and MALE privilege, huh????????????????????

so……..if i can acknowledge that privilege exists, specifically FEMALE privilege…………….

……….does it not follow that its POSSIBLE that OTHER kinds of privilege exist?

and that I might benefit from it?

but, like women, I spit in its face and deny it?

so i dislike women who do the same thing I am doing?

yeah but i believe women DO have certain advantages/privileges in the mating game. i mean SOME men have their own privileges here….but not most men.

also, my idea of Female Privilege in the Mating Game comes from a pretty Traditionalist, Reactionary, Alt Right, Rightist, NON MARXIST way of thinking.

Ideas about White Privilege and Male Privilege, that all comes from MARXIST BULLSHIT.

they are all saying what a horrifying, dark, awful place the incel sub is. i dont doubt that its DARK, and i dont want to link to it or even READ it because Im sure its very negative……..but dont say these are awful people. youd be this way too if you were a hugless virgin neet incel who CANT EVEN GET IN THE FRIENDZONE hahahahaha.

note: i never use the word friendzone seriously. its impossible for me to “get put in” the friendzone. i will just say, baby, i dont want to be just friends, lets take a time out here. or thats what i would say if they agreed to talk to me hahahaha.

im perfectly fine being friends with women IF I dont want anything more. AND IF THEY dont want anything more. not that ive ever experienced that. but god damn. i know women are HUMANS.

just like negros and joos and mudslims are humans too, hahahahahahahahahahaha.

no, white women rank above all of those, hahahahahahaha.

but yeah its just heartbreaking when a woman you like would rather hang out with CHEATERS, DRUG ADDICTS, DRUNKS, DEADBEATS, ABUSERS, and NEGROES, rather than hang out with YOU.

ive certainly linked this album before. a few posts ago. it def has its place. right now i am drawing attention to 3:34, “summer of the diabolical holocaust”. “natassja in eternal sleep” is such a strong, timeless opener, that i sometimes forget the next song is just as strong.

again, good headphones and ideally good speakers, played LOUD, for maximum effect, considering the ridiculous production. note the insane distorted bass sound and drum sound, esp the floor tom. ridiculous celtic frost riff in the middle here, with ridiculous “solo” on top of it.

the guitar tone kinda sucks on this album….kind of. but i wouldnt change it either!

and TED’s vokills are possibly his best ever. truly literally a man possessed here.

i would say turn it up LOUD and DEFINITELY smoke a huge MJ to this one, get nice and blazed. oh god. wish i could.

and then cuddle up with nice waifu while doing that.

well, for that, we would just listen to one song, while I Mansplained the significance of the music. listening to the whole album with a grill would be pretty weird. metal grills are huge immoral sluts anyway. degen nihilists hahaha.

hard to believe they were only like 21 when doing this album. to make an album that you just appreciate more and more as you get older. into your Mid Thirties.

I think i was familiar with this album when I was 21, or at least close to it. I liked it……but I didnt GET it as much as I do now.

like i certainly dont like other albums LIKE this.

anyway yeah great album for the Turning Of Seasons, like when its really becoming Fall/Autumn. definitely some magic in this album.

but yeah you DO need to listen to it LOUD. it Literally sounds better that way.

it is amazing how much Variation and Diversity there is in darkthrone. UAFM and TH are both super freezing cold black metal albums, but they sound fairly different. i guess a big thing is that the tempo and rhythm NEVER change on TH, and on other DT albums, they change in every song.

yeah theres a damn good reason DT is a such a NAME.

heh these reddit nonvirgin normies shaming the virgins. there answer for everything is “DUDE NEEDS HELP.” WOW. JUST…..I CANT EVEN. YASSSS. HE NEEDS THERAPY. THERAPY PROBABLY WOULDNT EVEN HELP HIM. HE NEEDS TO KEEP TRYING THERAPISTS TILL HE FIND SOMEONE WHO WORKS. HIS ONLY CHANCE IS A LIFE OF THERAPY IF HE EVER WANTS A GF……….AND EVEN THEN IT PROB WONT WORK. CUZ HES TOO TOXIC AND NEGATIVE AND WEIRD AND CREEPY AND RAPEY AND JUDGEY. EW. UGH. GROSS. NOT OK. HE NEEDS A LOT OF HELP.

Yeah i agree he probably does need some help but i dont think its hopeless. these are exactly the type of guys i would want to help. with my unlicensed christian therapy group. we would go out and grab women by the pvssy and call them fat pigs, slobs, dogs, and disgusting animals. hahahahahahahahaha.

hey might as well listen to TH right after UAFM. now theres an experience you should be grateful for.

heh. I remember I bought TH on CD and that was one of muh first serious black metal albums. that, burzum debut, emperor “nightside eclipse”, burzum HLTO, DT panzerfaust. i picked some good ones for babbys first black metal albums eh? but i remember seeing phil anselmo in a pantera picture wearing a DT TH t shirt and i was like whoa that looks hardcore hahahaha what does that logo even say???

and then i bought the cd and mainly liked the first song and was like why isnt the rest of the album as good, i mean its a really simple formula.

but then it really grows on you hahahaha. and then it becomes one of your desert island best black metal albums of all time.

when i was a young angry virgin, i might have thought DT understood my hateful, sorrowful feels hahahaha. when really they were a bunch of HEDONISTIC, DEGEN NORMIE NONVIRGINS, smoking MJ and partying and getting with SLUTS. more like NORMIETHRONE amirite????

anyway, yeah i guess if all you listen to is TH, its easy to think DT is a fairly “ATMOSPHERIC” BM band, but they really arent hahaha. they are more of celtic frost beer chugging normies.

but yeah its timeless, beautiful stuff you will CHERISH the rest of your life. when i get married to my pure virgin white waifu, I will play nothing but BLACK METAL at the reception hahahaha. totally make it all about me and everyone else can suck my dick, im gonna play like 8 hours of straight black metal at my wedding hahahahaha.

no but i mean i have to play at least one black metal song. but what the hell would it be? i mean it would be burzum or darkthrone. maybe I should just play TWO black metal songs.  transilvanian hunger and jesus dod. hahaha.

well i was invited to a social thing tomorrow and i decided to Just Say Yes because this is EXACTLY the type of thing I should say YES to, so i did. its exactly because i dont go to things, that i dont get invited to things any more….so kinda want to break that pattern.

oct 27

ive always liked sitting down and writing about muh self and muh feels, total narcissist, but unfort i think this has helped CAUSE some of my issues, because i always take the wrong lesson, or get in too negative of an attitude. the women thing is the perfect example. writing here i sound like incel virgin maniac r9k elliot rodger, but i am not really like that in real life!!!! at worst i am socially anxious and shy, but never super creepy or weird! i am even nice and nonjudgmental to total trashy sluts, i just see them as people who have had hard, unlucky lives, had their good noble nature nurtured out of them, its not their faultttttttttttt. basically i will treat people well until they treat me badly. even if they are a dirty slut. until them being a dirty slut directly hurts ME, I will be nice to them.

(soundcloud giving errors, deleted link. google fenriz radio soundcloud.)

oh here is fenriz’s radio show, archive of many of them, actually doesnt sound horrible hahahahaha. i mean i am kinda jealous of his ability to enjoy new music at 45 years of age, my mind is pretty much closed to all that. i still want him to have a family. find a decent wife and have some kids. shit he can still listen to metal. he talks about listening to metal 16 hours a day or something. im not even AWAKE 16 hours a day! now a family man needs to be awake 23 hours a day working and providing and protecting and securing, but working fathers can still have interests and hobbies, he could still listen to his precious metal hahahahaha.

well i do like documentaries and here is one on peste noire. who i like because famine is a fairly right wing douchebag who hates foreigners. and i like a couple of his songs. and i want to determine how right wing and nationalist he really is. of course, i think he needs to stop drinking and living a degen lifestyle, be more like varg!!!

look at this handsome white man, in beautiful nature. this is what we SHOULD think of when we think of FRANCE…..not a jooified degenerate brown hellhole that france is turning into. famine does drink too much and should stop drinking and have children tho. although i thought it was hilarious that he made an obnoxious fart joke hahahaha. showing what he thinks of these media k1kes hahahaha. well really i dont know anything about the makers of this film.

i know weev gets lots of demand from the k1k3 media for interviews, but he straight up tells them, fook off and die k1k3, im not giving you an interview unless you pay me a lot of money, you can look up stuff ive said on the internet. PAY ME if you want to talk to me. and my rate is not cheap. im taking my pound of flesh back from you vampires. this is a great way to be. so i hope the people that made this doc were either not corrupt “skypes”, or they paid famine decent money to talk to them. i do believe famine, degen farting drinker he may be, but i think he still has artistic integrity hahahaha.

 

 

new vidya where varg talks about fenriz. he says a lot of good things about fenriz, that he is smart, funny, charming, easy to like, friendly. he says he is one of the smartest most intelligent people he met back in the day. and also that he is very honorable and ethical and tries to do the right thing and be an honorable man. but that his tragic flaw is that he drinks too much and this might compromise him.

now varg is talking about fenriz 25 years ago. but as a 20 year old man, whenever young varg met young fenriz, fenriz was always drinking beer and getting drunk. so i can totally relate with that. whenever I was socializing at around that age, i was drinking.

varg says fenriz is a good man but he hopes he has cut down on the drinking. i would agree because drinking too much is never good. and if you have ever seen videos of fenriz, he is often drinking in them. so yeah i hope he is not a Full Blown Alcoholic. i dont think he is because uhhhh he would have ruined his life by now. lost his job at the post office, stopped doing albums, in and out of rehab or jail, plus he looks fairly healthy.

so yeah i think hes got it under control but i cant help agree with varg that alcohol clouds your judgement.

i am kinda in between varg and fenriz then! i started out more fenrizy and am becoming more vargy. but yeah i always got the impression that fenriz was a decent True Blue Cobber sort of guy, and I  am glad to hear Varg saying so, as Varg seems to be the same way. Morality Matters.

I know fenriz was in a deep depression for a few years…..did he drink more during that time? how did he come out of it? how does he keep from going back? what kind of women and people does he hang out with? he seems pretty social. how much does he really drink? why did his marriage end? was that related to his depression?

these are the important questions to me hahahahaha.

but yeah i cant help but feel he is capable of even more, that he IS a truly smart and moral man, and it would be GREAT if he stepped up the same way varg has, get a nice white wife and have 6 white children, but he just hasn’t made that Leap into Political, Religious, and Metaphysical Thinking. And I know that Drinking can hold you back from doing that. So I cant help but want to have fenriz stop drinking for like a year, cold turkey, and see what changes happen. I think he is totally CAPABLE of doing this.

interesting that varg is making this video though. why not just contact fenriz and be like hey ole buddy lets hang out and get caught up.

but i dont think varg and fenriz were super besties either. but fenriz was probably the black metal guy varg liked the most. they definitely like each other hahaha. and it sounds like culto did not hang out much because he didnt like the people. varg didnt much like the people. fenriz is a good guy who got along with everyone.

so who WERE vargs friends? people not into black metal. what were these people like? whats vargs rel like with HIS father and his brother?

so many questions hahahaha.

anyway i think a varg fenriz meeting now would be very productive for them both. and i think varg could push fenriz to realize his full potential. this is the fanfic movie I would make hahahahaha.

like my fanfic sequel to the big lebowski that redeems the classic characters into nondegenerates hahaha.

or my fanfic sequel to king of the hill, 10+ years later, where bobby is like 30 years old in Current Year.

hahahahahahahahahaha.

so i am tempted to post a comment on vargs video to encourage him to Reach Out to Fenriz.

thing is, Fenriz is totally in his Comfort Zone. he’s happy doing what he’s doing.

i dunno. i just like proselytizing Traditional Family Values to All White People. I see a good white man who i think would be a good father, and I think it’s a SHAME that he DOESNT Leave a Legacy. And I’m not talking about timeless music or even The Fame Of A Dead Man’s Deeds!

cattle may die, Kinsmen may die, sure, but just as fame of dead mens deeds don’t die, so do kinsmens kinsmens kinsmens kin dont die hahahahahahahahahahahahaha.

varg with his 6000000 children could speak to this better than I could. but see i am sold on this way of life way more than i am on fenriz’s. and i mean that in the nicest possible way to fenriz. im not judging him as a Degen Nihilist Slut Negro Mentality.

hey maybe fenriz thinks he would be a bad father.

i mean shit i KNOW i would be a terrible father because i cant even take care of MYSELF. but i might have POTENTIAL to BECOME good father material, i think all white men do. and i think fenriz has enough money. i am SURE many of his colleagues at the post office have children! also i would totally support him doing one sell out show of darkthrone to make money for his family!

i mean nocturno CULTO has children for gods sakes. mr hateful culto who doesnt like anybody managed to get woma/en to birth two children for him.

now i do think that deadbeat fathers are like that simply because they had children when they WERENT READY. but i do believe that ALL white men are capable of becoming ready to be good fathers. that these deadbeat fathers could have one day been good fathers if they just KEPT IT IN THEIR PANTS and didnt bang sluts without a rubber when they were too young to handle a kid. typcal N behavior hahahaha.

like i WOULD LIKE to be a good father someday, but if i had a child right now with some white trash slut, i would run away like a coward. i cant take care of a child!

and this is totally understandable at 20…..much less understandable at 30.

a LOT is SUPPOSED to happen between 20 and 30. but for me it really DIDNT. because YOU are supposed to MAKE that stuff happen with a LOT of Hard Work, effort, energy, and agency! it doesnt just HAPPEN on its own!

i didnt realize that until i was 30 hahahaha. well ok, maybe 26 hahahaha. well, i always KNEW it but ran away from that responsibility by drinking until i was 26.  sheeeeeeeit kinda wish i had gotten Busted a few years earlier! 22, 23, that would have been great year to stop drinking hehee.

and yet I STILL want to do MJ!!! it clouds your mind in a diff way than alcohol…….but it definitely clouds your mind! impairs your judgment in all things!

bbbbbbut my mind is clouded ANYWAY with hate and despair and fear and worry and anxiety and bad negative attitude and feels and r9k and incel and foreveralone and entitlement and elliot rodger and the red pill and niceguytm and K all normies and all that hahaha. at least being clouded with MJ or alcohol is a step up in terms of being more pleasant and positive!

ayo hol up hol up. so ALCOHOL would be POSITIVE?

MJ would be POSITIVE but ALCOHOL isn’t?

everythings a damn slippery slope hahaha.

well honestly i have no or very little desire to drink alcohol, it just doesnt APPEAL to me.

MJ on the other hand, APPEALS to me like none other.

what would fenriz do? drink beer, PROBABLY smoke some MJ, listen to metal, and have fun.

what would varg do? drink non-alcoholic beer, work on his russian lada car, make videos with not-his-best ambient music in the background hahahahahaha and proudly parade his beautiful children and live out the 14 words. and judge degenerates as degenerate. i mean yeah thats really appealing too!

but he’s not a neet virgin see! he’s a PRINCIPLED MAN, an honorable strong alpha man, with nice wife and a HORDE of beautiful blond blue eyed aryan children!!!!!!! he gets to BE autistic and live in isolation……with his young wife and 6 kids!!!!!!!! BIG difference between that and a neet basement dweller virgin! varg has had secs 6 times hahahahahahaha.

well these men are entitled to their privacy. im actually shocked that varg has Opened Himself Up so much to the world. I’m happy, because he sets a GREAT example, but he’s compromising his own privacy in a way I thought he never would.

maybe i should attempt to get an interview with FENRIZ, because he supposedly does hundreds of interviews whenever they do a new album. so my interview with fenriz will include all those questions about his personal life: his ex wife the artist, his GF’s, his FWB’s, his normie friends, his job, his family, his drinking, what he thinks about MJ, why doesnt culto scream like he used to, why is there one classic song on their new album but the rest is kinda meh, why dont you want kids, here’s why you should have kids, here’s why you should should go and hang out with varg and his family for a week, heres why you should quit drinking for a year and just see what happens, here’s why you need to pass on your damn genes and not just your music. you are SO CLOSE. have a rea come to jesus talk with him.

you can still do your radio show. i might even start listening to your radio show. you can still listen to metal. wouldnt you like a family to share your metal with hahahahaha.

is it he cant find a good woman? i doubt that. or does he just prefer sluts because muh dick? well he needs to get out of that muh dick mindset!

whats better, to be a muh dick white negro, or a hateful neet incel elliott rodger KV who cant even pull SLUTS?????

its honestly worst to be the neet virgin! then youre WORSE THAN A NEGRO!!!!! ME!!!! Thats where I am right now!

the PRINCIPLED, MORAL white man is worse than a degen muh dick negro, “simply” because this particular principled moral white man is also a neet loser virgin!!!!!!!! that is muh trump card!

so when fenriz was 21 he was still working at the post office (prob full time) and would get off his shift, buy a case of beer, and come over and hang out at euronymous’s shop and drink the beer, according to varg. i mean not that thats not a credible story!

basically, fenriz was able to live the life of a 21 year old normie: FT job like an adult, but also partying, socializing, drinking, having friends, probably GF’s, AND being in a band and making tons of music. classic, timeless music that will never die. while also being Sorta Immature and Drinking a Little Too Much, like a 21 year old man in his Party Phase.

so yeah i cant relate to that AT ALL, because I have so little experience in successfully working a FT job or being a normie. when he drank he did it right, when i drank i did it wrong. basically these were NORMIES!!!!!!

that is a weird thought, that the kvlt black metal guys i like are just more damn NORMIES. NORMIES GONNA NORM.

i am triggering the shit out of leftist reddist phaggots, who hate the term normies, cuz only niceguy broken men entitled incel r9k neets use the word. shit yeah.

and VARG is essentially a normie because he was hanging out with GRILLS from a proper age.

fenriz got grills, varg got grills, shit even euronymous probably got slutty grills hahahahaha.

you know who didnt get grills? probably dead. well, maybe he got one grill, got his heart broke, then K’d himself hahahaha. [pure speculation]

i hear that dead was a truly weird, lonely soul, not of this world…….and also that he was  a real nice sweet sensitive guy. im sure it was closer to the latter.  and then of course you try to add the grim early 90s norwegian black metal SPIN to that, and he becomes a twisted, dark, cold, lonely, hateful soul, one with death hahahaha.

maybe fenriz should have helped him learn Game to Game those white sluts hahahaha. or he could have gotten euronymous’s sloppy seconds.

but thats the thing about neet virgins…..THEY (we) CANT EVEN PULL DIRTY SLOPPY SECONDS SLUTS!!!!!!!!!!

so that is really a confidence killer!!!!!! the worst, easiest women dont even want us for a roll in the hay!

i mean i dont really care about “the scene”……………….but I do really like burzum and darkthrone, who were huge figures in “the scene”, so there you go. plus they are all interesting PEOPLE with interesting STORIES. and to top it all off, they made actually interesting music. and they continue to be interesting people 25 years later…..even if their music is less interesting.

so yeah. varg fenriz reunion nao.

rej email from 17 an hour county clerical job. SHEEEEEEEEEEEEEIT. i mean 17 dollars, 34k, thats WITHIN REACH for me a lot more than a goddam 40k job. so a rejection from a 34k job actually stings MORE than a rej from a 40k job.

at least for a 24k job, i could convince myself that they rej me because I was “overqualified.”

not so much for a 34k job. thats right in that sweet spot. i mean my glassdoor market value is 35k! the FEDGOV technically COULD pay me 34k as well!

really, I shouldnt apply for jobs MORE than 34k, and I honestly try NOT to……….

but most jobs are far above or far below 34k!!!!!!!!

slow genocide of the Middle Class hahahaha. hollowing out of the middle. the 34k’ers.

i mean i just want to make the average wage of my state/region/area, which is AROUND 13 dollars an hour, 26k a year. anything more is a BLESSING.

also, why do companies do Massive Layoffs, when they could just do Massive Pay Cuts instead? then people could keep their jobs at least, and there will absolutely be unhappy people who will quit voluntary. more cost savings there goy.  so yeah i dont understand why companies will just cut jobs entirely when they COULD just cut wages.

or CANT they. because the numbers dont crunch out that way.  you dont save enough MONEY by just cutting WAGES, you HAVE to cut JOBS if you want to save enough MONEY.

hmm apparently you cant buy gift cards online at gift card granny where you can save 5% or more off the face value. not a bad deal. like get a 25 dollar gift card for 23 dollars. not bad if you are looking to buy some gift cards……which i am!

maybe fenriz doesnt WANT to have kids ok? maybe hes happy with his life just the way it is!!!!

i mean not everyone WANTS to have kids!

yeah but a lot of people DO.

and the white race is kind of at a precarious position right now. so that if you care about the white race AT ALL (and I most certainly DO!!!!) then its kinda your DUTY to have kids. ESPECIALLY if you are of means.

and if you are NOT of means?

then GET of means ASAP mother fooker, because we are having a RACE WAR!!!!!!!!!!

otto skorzeny did not move to the US and was not your GF’s grandfather bro! he moved to spain and or ireland and even worked with the mossad for a bit.

listen to this good goy. 6 million jooz murdered by the n4z15 in the h010c4u5t. sounds like a wacky conspiracy theory tinfoil hat guy hahahahaha.

travel channel show. that old man you met was NOT otto skorzeny. how could you believe he was.

so yeah doing fun social thing today, which is not something i usually do, which is a step in the right direction for me. just be nice and smile and say thank you. baby steps. dont even worry about keeping up with Witty Banter. to me its always like a competition, who can do the wittiest banter, but thats not REALLY what it is, its just people who enjoy doing witty banter with each other and it comes very easily and naturally. only for me is it such a challenging competition! they dont care that im not the wittiest!

for a brief window of time, when i was about 21 or 22, i was kinda a social drunk fenriz character. i hung out a lot, also drank a lot, and had some small measure of charisma or celebrity. a lot of it was a bad reputation as a drunken wildman who said ridiculous things. NOT the type of thing I want to be remembered for. yet it was interesting having some amount of “popularity”.  probably the closest i got to being a normie. was able to parlay it into casual flings with two casual gurls. then my 15 minutes of fame were OVER.  and IMHO I wasted it drinking and being ridiculous and I was largely misunderstood. i would rather be remembered as a Nice, Moral, Honorable Man, than some Salty Loose Cannon Drunk Crank.

 

THIS IS THE LIFE IVE CHOSEN

HOW is this the life I’ve chosen hahahahahaha.

oct 25

sheeeeeeeeeeeit.  interview this afternoon with banking company, easy back office super entry level high school job hahahaha.  but i cant get a sweet 35k Recent Graduates or Pathways job with FEDGOV, so as an Old Graduate, Im forced to settle for a 25k nongraduate job hahahahaha. THIS IS THE LIFE IVE CHOSEN. THIS IS THE HAND IVE BEEN DEALT. I CHOSE THIS hahahaha.

well thats contradictory: you dont CHOOSE the hand you get DEALT by the dealer. its all chance. fate.

yeah but i made a bunch of poor decisions and mistakes that led me to where i am today, so, indeed, THIS IS THE LIFE IVE CHOSEN.

I was in a C++ coding class with this guy who always used to say that. he was prob severely depressed, maybe 45 years old, working FT i think with mainframes, and i had no idea why he was in the class. he sounded like he had been working with code for years. i guess he didnt know c++, and he also wanted to chip away at his degree so he could get a better job. at age 50. even though he was already working like 60 hours a week in a tech job. he would chain smoke during the break in the 3 hour class and say THIS IS THE LIFE IVE CHOSEN and sigh despairing and demoralizingly.  hahahahahahaha. great guy.

maybe he was a virgin or a woman hater too! hahaha. or a Creepy, Abusive, Controlling, Clingy, Needy, Immature, Toxic, Narcissistic Bad Man.

the obvious response is: HOW IS THIS THE LIFE IVE CHOSEN??!?!?!?! I DIDNT CHOOSE THIS!!!! DID I?!?!?!?! I DONT REMEMBER CHOOSING THIS!!!! NOBODY ASKED ME! NOBODY TOLD ME!!! I DIDNT KNOW!!!!!

IGNORANCE OF THE LAW IS NO EXCUSE. THIS IS THE LIFE YOUVE CHOSEN.

you chose it without KNOWING you were choosing it, or what you were choosing. but you chose it nonetheless.

god damn. how the hell did i not apply for one of those recent grad pathways jobs with FEDGOV when i was a recent grad? because i was immature AF as well as a jooish marxist who believed fedgov was an evil behemoth oppressive nonwhites at home and abroad. how could i become a part of the bloated military industrial complex used to oppress and kill innocent nonwhite wimmin and children in iraq and syria and afghanistan.

like they were just GIVING AWAY 35k entry level jobs to 22 year old shitheads like me. i mean its prob competitive as shit. but i DID have Superior GPA from a Name School, so i think i did technically have a chance. now I got no chance because im not even ELIGIBLE. Im too old. i missed the boat. the fast track. now i am on the nowhere track.

they have more Recent Grad Pathways jobs than they do Basic Bitch GS 05 jobs!!!!!!!!!!!!

i coulda been a contender, i coulda started at gs07, but now id be happy AF to take 05! pleeeeease respond! please interview me! most of all please hire me!

this is how i kill 34 minutes before going to muh interview hehehe. i mean i got the big interview done yesterday. i already researched this company today, i researched them 2-3 weeks ago when i did the other interviews.

i could TECHNICALLY start a masterz degree program (BS online MBA) and then get into one of these pathways jobs hehehehehe.

i mean making alot of assumptions here. what if the pathways job is harder to get into than HARVARD or MIT. i just dont know.

“sort of ex/bf” wtf does that mean???? YOU DONT KNOW IF HES YOUR EX OR NOT???!!?!?!?!?!?!?!??!?!??!??!!

heh. at least i got that going for me. there is NO DOUBT that That Woman did not want to be with me. So now all I need to do is Forget About Her, and uhh learn the lessons and not make the same mistakes again. not be a COWARD again. be a MAN.

FIFTY DOLLARS to see MORRISSEY??? For 20 sure. for 30 maybe, a big maybe. i mean im not even a huge morrissey fan, i just respect what he’s done and i like the ridiculous lovesick grumpy image. i only know like 3 or 4 smiths songs and like 1 or 2 morrissey songs. 50$? rather spend it on MJ hahahahaha.

 

why dont you go to grad skool, you old white man. you get in what you put out. maybe if you CAREER FOCUSED like WOMEN you wouldnt be in this mess.

way to have a NEGATIVE, ENTITLED attitude that employers can SMELL a MILE away. go to THERAPY and fix your negative entitled attitude.

i was thinking about posting just to give him sympathy but then the post got locked. prob cuz it got very heated in there with people piling on this poor guy. IMHO, he is ENTITLED to have a negative attitude!

did i even talk about the interview? it was ok enough, i was nervous and rambling. i appreciated that they werent trying to RUSH me out of there in 45 minutes. it ended up being damn 90 minutes. i get the impression they give people all the time they need to Hire and Interview. i was a little exhausted at the end of it. the person was nice enough.

unfort there is also a damn second interview. i didnt expect a second interview for this damn 13 dollar an hour job. well i mean i didnt expect it to be a part of the process. but i would like this job so i DO want to get invited to the second interview.  but its also discouraging. i dont think ive ever made it to a second interview. i mean i am honestly sick of interviewing. 27 interviews and no job hahahahaha. well, i am a little TOO picky about jobs because i know I would prob K myself at a restaurant or fast food or grocery job. so i am trying to get a damn office job.

well just get a “transitional” job. well thats the thing. well sure you have to bullshit like its not transitional and you want to work at this shady restaurant the rest of your life.

well i can handle a lot more than i THINK i can handle, when I am not having Huge Personal Drama with a Woman at the job.

so if any one of these 27 places said yes, i could have probably handled it. for a year or so. then ragequit. then spent the next 15 months trying to find new job haha.

well the manager i talked to knew one of muh references, sort of. i will take that as a good sign. a SIGN from GAWWWWWDDDDDDDD. much like seeing that woman from my old job, working at the place i interviewed yesterday. not sure what is the better sign.

or it just means nothing hehehehe.

now i feel strangely tired. even though i got plenty of sleep. i always get plenty of sleep. too much sleep! i worry how i would be able to handle working 50 hours a week! i would literally have to do nothing but work and sleep. no exercise, no chores, no family, no 1488 podcasts, no powerwalks, no writing hahaha.

but heres the thing, i cant go RIGHT TO SLEEP after work because im too worried and my mind spinning and reeling about work stuff. the best thing i can do is take a ton of MJ, relax a bit, and THEN go study for 90 minutes or so, to give me a sense of confidence on the Work Material and that I am Ready for the crazy day tomorrow. so thats at least 2 hours of post-work home stuff there.

for a person that likes to spend 12 hours a day in bed, that is hard to swing hahahaha.

is it normal to spend 12 hours a day in bed? what is it a symptom of? despair? laziness?

i dont spend the WHOLE TIME sleeping. but uhh I do spend about 10 hours sleeping. 10 hours sleeping every night. the average is 7 hours. come on. but i feel like i cant FUNCTION hahahaha.

i mean yeah for a while i WAS a normie, getting 7 hours of sleep, working super stressful job all day every day. i was paying my dues just like everyone else.

but i just want a job where i can do tasks. have a routine. not have so much god damn change and confusion and being SLAMMED and having to explain and fix shit you didnt understand. its your job to answer the phone and there are calls always waiting in the queue.

heh the best was when i was on like a 90 minute call and i really had to urinate because i had been drinking a lot of coffee and water. i have actually put the caller on hold, ran out of the room and urinated, then came back to continue the call 2 minutes later with no one the wiser. because i was constantly putting the caller on hold for 5 minutes at a time to “research” or “get some advice” or run such and such a program.

but yeah that was HORRIBLE. i guess theoretically i could have asked the caller for permission so i could go to the Restroom. newbs would think, well why cant you just call them back.

ONE DOES NOT SIMPLY CALL THEM BACK because then you are in OUTBOUND call mode and that counts as Not Ready and you have to be Ready 85% of the time.  you are only ready when you are Inbound. on an inbound call, or those times when you are waiting for an inbound call.

i dont remember those times so much but we actually had them. but those times kinda sucked too because you were on the edge of your seat worried about when you would get that call and what it would be. i couldnt just Chill Out.

but yeah technically it WAS better than having one call after the other, to at least get a couple minutes between calls to rest or maybe even talk to your neighbor and try to convince yourself you were a normal human being who knew how to talk to people.

i dont want to work in a goddamn call center on inbound calls ever again! is that so illegit of me???!?!?!?!?!?!

its not like i wont serve customers or talk to people! i will give customer service! I will even sit in the inbound call queue for……..2 hours a day hahahaha. maybe even 3. but not fookin EIGHT hours a day.

i just hate that i WASNT TOUGH ENOUGH. I wasnt tough enough but SHE was.

 

wait until she leaves him for one of her more interesting male friends, he is right to be “insecure.” also he is shamed for thinking casual sex is wrong and not liking that his GF had a FWB casual sex partner. shamed by all the casual sex NIHILIST sluts of reddit.

feel pretty exhausted, not sure why. was it really because of muh 90 minute interview? i think so. but i used to do the equivalent of 8 hours of interviews every day at work. and yeah i was exhausted too but i couldnt sleep because my mind was RACING and worried.

right now im not worried and mind racing thank GOD. but i shouldnt be THIS tired. just from a 85 minute interview. i mean i sleep 10 hours a day. i cant upgrade the citalopram any more said the dr, 40 mg is maximum dose. the other option is that i could add wellbutrin. who knows. might do that. keep adding shit until one day i can HANDLE Normie Life. not even a Rel! but just a normie job. like the ones i interviewed for today and yesterday.

int tommorow, i am barely even preparing. i have talked to these people TWICE before, taken like FOUR tests with them, also this is a part time job, i am sick of doing prep work for them. but this part time job pays pretty well (15 an hour) and i would not turn it down AT ALL. I would welcome it.

just too many god damn college “educated” professional women on reddit. thinking they are all smart and progressive with their horrible nihilistic “progressive” “values.”

anyway i am a VERY low key guy and i would not like the “rockstar” gf like this guy has. its fine and dandy she has “CHOSEN” him but i guarantee shes gonna end up CHOOSING one of her more interesting male friends, and his “insecurities” will be 100% correct. he would be better off with a low key person like him, someone who doesnt have FWB’s.

i certainly want a low key woman. That Woman was very low key and did not like to party at all. no drinking, no going out, just staying in with the family, no tons of male friends. i LUVED that about her. i mean i have dealt with the other type of woman too. too many male friends, sluts, etc. college sluts that probably use reddit now and give horrible advice.

anyway i just worry that I singlehanded Ruined my rel with that woman because of My Issues that I should have been Getting Therapy for!!!!!!

but i HAVE been going to Some Therapy and taking medz every day!

oh god what a butt slut hahahahahahahaha

at the age of 24 shes ONLY had THREE serious enough relationships (out of 600000000000 secs partners) that she Luved enough to let them put it in the ass. THANKS.

anyway didnt mean to get on a tangent there.  i just dont want to RUIN rels with My Issues. Insecurities and Anxiety and Despair and Hate and Judgeyness hahahahaha. oh you had 3 FWBs thats gross and NIHILISTIC hahahaha. well it is.

well i mean reddit said its FRIENDS with benefits and its not nihilistic, its not disrespectful, and it involves communication and respect and mutual appreciation, you are not just using people for secs nihilistically.

so THEORETICALLY its something I MAY be capable of. like if i met a qt young gurl who i thought, oh yeah shes attractive i wouldnt mind having secs with her.

but if she was a decent person and i got along with her as a FRIEND, AND was secsually attracted to her…….i would CERTAINLY get some kind of FEELINGS very quickly.

so i dont understand how these FWBs just dont end up Dating.  you get along with the person as a friend, which is HUGE, AND you are secsually attracted to them, with is HUGE, and together with the getting along? i mean shit it sounds like something that would work really well as Dating, so why the f not do that?

like i was good friends with that woman and wished i could date someone i got along with that well. and then i started thinking of her secsually…..and boom the FEELINGS came right along with that.

so yeah FWB points to the nihilistic shit of being able to separate secs from feelings, which IMHO is nihlistic and wrong and disturbing, just like that anxious niceguy(tm) OP says in that reddit where he was shamed.

fookin interviews. sick of this shit hahahahaha.

THE SEVEN WEEK ITCH

oct 19

welp got 2 interview invites in 1 day, bringing muh average “up” to 1/19 hahahaha. 1 interview for every 19 apps. better than target of 1 out of 20 hahahahaha.

1 for IT Quality Assurance at healthcare place, that might be good. i dont have QA experience but i wish i did and I am fundamentally committed to the idea of quality! hahahaha.

and then interview for part time city job which i would like to get.

ok, this time, DONT TELL THE SECOND PLACE THAT THEY ARE SECOND PLACE!!!!

meaning, DONT be “up front” or “transparent” that I am interview with place xyz and that if they offer me the job, i have to take it!

my previous thought was, this makes me not look desperate. like i am a man with options. this might work with women, but not sure about Jobs. Jobs might only want you if THEY are your FIRST choice. by saying you’d take another job, you’re telling them they are not your first choice. therefore they wont pick you.

so, 2 interviews next week. and now up to 25 interviews, 479 apps. i was shooting for 25 and 500, so, even better.

25 interviews was kinda my Magic Number tho. like THERES NO WAY I wont get a job after 25 interviews.

course thats what I said about 20!

WELL, some of these things werent really INTERVIEWS tho. I added .5 for Testing Sessions and Phone Interviews.

well a phone interview is kinda an interview right? its at LEAST TWICE as stressful as taking a test right? so i really should count phone interviews for 1 instead of .5.

 

hehehehe i did not really get HEADDESK FACEPALM issues like this, i kinda wish i did, because then they would be EASY and I could EASILY BLAME the Stupid Idiot Luser and be CONFIDENT that I was right and knew what i was doing. When in reality i would get WEIRD shit and think, DAMN, I know even LESS than the User! I have no idea what this thing they’re using even is! I have to fix a tool they’re using which I’ve never seen or heard of before!

go to tales from tech support and read all the Long and especially Extra Long stories. that is kind of what our stuff was like hahahaha. Extra Long.

I am closer to these shockingly idiot Users than I am to Tech Support! so why am i am WORKING for tech support! i empathize and sympathize wiht the Lusers too much!

DOGSBODY. this is def a british people word, for “administrative assistant” or “secretary” or “factotum” or person who does the shit jobs noone else wants to do. slave, lackey, minion, grunt, monkey, meat.

a Half Day Shadow is more than enough to fully train you for everything in your job! Thank You Sir for the PRivilege of a Half Day Shadow!

2 interview invites in 1 day, thats gotta count for something right. so to celebrate, think i will only apply to 1 job (baby step), then do 10 pushups (baby step), then do a 1 hour powerwalk (kind of a baby step hahahaha), listen to new fatherland episode (not a baby step but a full pleasure, very comfy, like cuddling a QT or smokin a big MMJ hahahaha)

it is VERY frustrating when you apply for a job, then see the cover letter you used, and see that it has a mistake in it: misspelling, wrong company, wrong position title, some sort of error. and then you think, theres GOT to be ones i’m NOT catching. and i’ve caught at least 2 or 3 in the past 100 or so.

sheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeit.

 

 

like these tales from reddits

 

how to train your call centre dogsbodies

 

she has only ever been with OP, and the 2nd guy she fooked was this “gay guy” she fooked when fooked up one night. cheating on the OP.  now gf is crawling back and saying pls forgive me, take me back, you can fook other gurls, pls just take me back. OP has a bad feeling and doesnt really want to. i would probably say I FORGIVE YOU BABEY bla bla bal and then she would cheat on me again and give me aids hahahaah. grids.

once a cheater, always a cheater!

NOT EVEN ONCE!

So if I made it 30+ years without cheating “EVEN ONCE”…..uh i kinda want to STAY that way! and i also want a woman for muh wife who has never cheated even once.

 

 

heh this is what i dont like about reddit. they think the father is a horrible bigot because he doesnt want his 20 year old white daughter taking the BBC. well, i guess they could be jooish, here’s a situation where joos would call themselves white.

and she is JUST FINDING OUT her father is “racist.” because he has black friends and hasnt given any indication that hes a HORRIBLE BIGOT until his 20 yo daughter brings home a black silverback!

and all the reddit scum agree, oh yes, he’s a horrible person.

 

gf dumped guy, broke his poor heart, now is upgrading to a better man, and dumped boifran continues to torture and blame himself. yeah this sucks. its better when they downgrade to a shittier man…..but many times they dont hahahaha.  YOU are the shittier man because youre a big loser in life.

it just sucks when they Move On so QUICKLY and yeah i would like to see reddit shame the xgf for that. like you cant take more than a few weeks to be single and Process the Dead Rel? you IMMEDIATELY go out and find someone WAY better? at least accept that that is gonna do a NUMBER on this sad sack guy!

well at least he’s young and near to finishing an engin degree so the odds are in his favor of getting a good job with that.

i might just RESPOND on this thread because hes not getting enough sympathy!!!!!

yeah i responded with a rambling, incoherent, autistic thing. see if you can find it hahahahahahaha.

guy gets feelings for his close female friend. she doesnt feel the same way. he doesnt know what to do. they work together. but she doesnt HATE him for it and they still talk and she prob wants to be friends. well he is way more successful than me and younger than me hahahahaha. so i say just make money and bang bitches and put her on the SUPER back burner.

 

when she LITERALLY TELLS YOU she wants to “put you on the shelf” and fook other guys, DUMP HER!!!!!!! not ok!!!!!!

/r/relships is good in that there is a lot of input, some of it good.

/r/anxiety and /r/depression are both GODAWFUL because there are 10% of the posts here, and they are not very high quality. /r/relships always tells you go to therapy, and its just funny. they REALLY need therapy on anx and dep.  i mean, there is terrible/no advice on these. nothing actually useful. just yep i want to K muh self too, its hopeless, the end.

at least on relships they TRY. and the women give shitty annoying advice but half of the women TRY, and 75% of the men TRY.

THIRSTY. MEN ARE NATURALLY THIRSTY.

80% of men DONT REPRODUCE. 80% of men cant get a woman. 80% of men have been celibate for 2 years or longer. of COURSE most 80% of men are “THIRSTY” hahahahahahaha.

but you see what im saying. most men dont have any OPTIONS they can CHOOSE from. BEGGARS cant be CHOOSERS. BEGGARS are THIRSTY. its not BAD for them to be thirsty. dont THIRST SHAME them!

dont THIRST SHAME a man whose been crawling in the desert for 10 years!

in fact, to continue with this thirst metaphor, thirst is not inherently bad! it means you’re suffering because you’re not getting something you NEED!

so the proper response is, dont SHAME them, say oh noes, THIS MAN IS DYING OF THIRST! HE NEEDS SOME WATER STAT!!!!!!!!!!!!

now its not anyones JOB to do that for him….but his own skills may well be weakened. compromised.

so i should just go to a hooker is what you’re saying?

well i would much rather go to a FWB.

oct 20

sheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeit. interesting scenario, go to my usual social event and a new gurl is there, about 25 years old, white, very qt, friend of acquaintance of mine, so i figure thats fine, hes got DIBS on her if he wants, but i’m not entirely sure what his motives are, but if i think she is QT he prob does too!

she seems not super obnoxious or bitchy in personality, but also lets slip some potential huge baggage, like fam members dying of drugs, possibly crazy x bf’s, lots of male friends, possibly dated a black guy, or a guy with a REALLY black sounding name lets just say. who knows how many abortions, how manny cox.

and yet i found myself attracted to her, like wow what a qt, i dont care if she’s crazy, i dont care if she had a black boifran, i dont care if she’s been with about 10 guys by age 25, i just care that shes qt and doesnt have any children. and if she were showing me interest right now, i would like that a lot and i would get over That Woman a lot faster.

and then i felt ashamed and inferior because my social skills are pretty bad, i cannot keep up with banter with the normies, i dont hang out and go to the bar or bowling with the normies, and i have terrible Game and cannot Talk To Women, and thought “i have nothing to talk about with this woman. she has quickly written me off as the most boring guy ever. by age 25 women dont want to waste time with BORING, quiet, awkward guys.”

my excuse was, i just assumed the other guy had “DIBS” on her and I was happy to respect that. but if he DIDNT, and was just looking for a Degen FWB, which is actually very possible, and it’s Open Season, then yeah my game was horrible omega vrigin neet style.

so that made me not feel so confident. like a failure with women.

and also just felt like a failure socially in general cuz my normie acquaintances go out to bar and bowling together, even if they have to Work the next morning, and I am just realy awkward abotu hanging out. I cant contribute to the hilarious banter very smoothly and i do not show tonnes of interest in hanging out, HOWEVER these are decent people and it would be GOOD for me to hang out more, socialize, with decent people.

i mean i do try to be nice and try to act normie, but i just can’t keep up with the stream of constant banter. its not even ball busting banter, but just making jokes like a well adjusted normie. nothing mean spirited or douche baggy, like i say, these are decent positive people.

so yeah a bit of double whammy socially last night hahaha: i am terrible with women, i am terrible with people.

i thought of how high this gurls number would have to be to be a dealbreaker. probably 10, i thought. she can come in under 10 at age 25 right? thats not asking too much?

but what about the fooked up family? was she molested? ever raeped? was there really black guys she fooked? how many black guys? how many white guys hahahaha. is she a cheater? abortions? how many fwb’s? hows your father?

and you cant really ask ANY of these questions as small talk hahahahahahahaha but she did let some pretty big hints slip, and she wasnt even talking to me!

OCCAMS RAZOR sez, I just wanted to bang her because she was a young qt, fit my A E S T H E T I C pretty well as a pale skinned, long haired semi “alternative” gurl, who does MJ and is not a huge social butterfly. Chill Cool Gurl. and then i thought DAMN I would like to DO her, but I would ALSO like cuddling with her, and making out with her, and trying the nice sweet GFE with her.

WITHOUT EVEN KNOWING IF SHE WAS GFE AT ALL!

Basically if the woman is even close to my “type” physically, I will want to try the GFE with her. meaning, potential for FEELINGS.

so it was nice knowing that i could very likely get Real, True feelings for a woman again, AND also lower my unrealistically high standards: been with less than 10 guys AND no black guys AND no abortions AND no cheating AND no fooked up family AND no kids AND 25-27 yo AND 6.8/10 hahahahaha.

sheeeeeeit she MIGHT have children, she just didnt say anything about that. i guess having children is the REAL dealbreaker. she could be a huge mudshark slut for all I care.

well of COURSHE these things would have SERIOUS implications in a serious LTR, but uhhhh ive never gotten that far before. i guess i would gladly take the GFE for 3 months until i get dumped by a mudshark slut for being too clingy hahahahaha.

ok a 25m complaining about his 19 yo gf that she is immature and bad communicator. so why doesnt she just dump him hahaha.

WELL, my question is, HOW MUCH maturity should you EXPECT out of a 25 year old WOMAN?

i hate this, well, you can only be SO MATURE at such and such an age. people dont MATURE till age 40.

heres the thing hehehe: 25 is in a real gray area here. we can all agree that 20 is immature, 30 is mature. so what does that make 25 then? it could go both ways obviously.

ALSO, its not like this GF is running away from her older BF. she is posting on reddit in a way to Try To Help.

anyway. the good the bad and the ugly.

the GOOD thing about “meeting” this new woman yesterday (i had actually met her once before like 9 months ago?) is that it taught me that I AM capable of getting feelings for a woman in the future. that is not THAT woman hahaha.

the bad and the ugly, well we just went over all that above. really it might be ALL TOO EASY for me to get feelings for a BAD woman! like this new woman has red and yellow flags pointing to dumpster fire, but here I am wanting to do GFE with her! Rough Secs sure, but also tender secs and tender cuddling and dating!

basically you want to be nice to the young qt woman and have her be nice back to you, EVEN IF she is the biggest dumpster fire in the history of the world! you will put on the rose colored glasses and just IGNORE everything in favor of you FANTASY! you will WILLINGLY DELUDE YOURSELF!!!!!

and that is EXACTLY what I did for That Woman!!!!!!!! I willingly bought into a FANTASY so much that I thought the fantasy was reality!!!!!!!

this can happen when you are lonely and desperate and thirsty and you have a female friend who is 25, qt, no children, and somewhat nice. BOOM. ALL OVER.

well this got muh confidence back up, i just got TWO MORE INTERVIEWS today.

TWO INTERVIEWS PER DAY FOR TWO DAYS IN A ROW.

THAT is TRULY UNPRECEDENTLY.

FOUR INTERVIEWS IN TWO DAYS.

This is the biggest thing since actually DOING two interviews in one day. (although that sucked. here im talking about the INVITATION to interview. which does NOT suck hahahaha.)

which brings MUH NUMBER up to 27!!!!! HORRY SHEET!!!!!

so yeah good pipeline.

the two i got today are: one from “bank”, HR woman called me and said well you didnt get the tech job (i knew this) but they were offering ANOTHER interview for me that i had applied to in april, didnt get anything for, they reposted it, and then HR called me and said i didnt even need to apply again, they would just give me an interview. so yeah i was really impressed by this HR woman. well she DOES have a masters degree. i mean i generally get a very solid respectable culture vibe from this company, i like it. it is refreshing.

next interview was at my old old employer, now this is a PT job, not super enthused about this one, but this place i associate with good easy PT jobs, albeit low paying and no more than 25 hours a week tops, but its close, and easy.

but i would take the higher paying PT job from this other place i am interviewing next wed.

applied for 1 job today when i was interrupted in that by the two phone calls. hehehehe.

so when i get secsual feelings for a woman, its VERY EASILY extrapolated to “romantic” feelings. for me there is not a huge disconnect between secs and romance. which i think is the old school, natural, traditional, nondegen way to be! what GOD has made one, man should not separate!

ok. wewlad all these interviews and phone calls.

i think its ok to say i have interviews to the other employers. just dont say, well this other place is my first choice. but its PERFECTLY FINE and a good move to say, oh i cant meet you on that day, I HAVE ANOTHER INTERVIEW.

course now that i have SAILED past 25, maybe that is GAAAAAAWWWWWWD telling me that I actually need to get to 30 interviews, not 25.

but 25 is a much better number than 30!

really 33 or 34 is a better number than darn 30.

just know that chill, introverted, quiet, nonobnoxious women STILL have 60000000000000000000000 guy friends because men have to do all the Heavy Lifting of being Charismatic, Interesting, Initiative, Drivers Seat, etc. a woman doesnt have to do anything to have 60000000000000000000000000 except RESPOND to texts.

she can be kinda plain, a 6.6/10, as long as she is 25 and no kids, she will have NO SHORTAGE of Male Friends, and from them, and ENDLESS SUPPLY of potential suitors, fook buddies, whatever she wants.

im not saying this is wrong or bad, i just get BUTTHURT when i see women taking that for GRANTED. that i DO get butthurt about.

also its ANNOYING when women complain about their BF’s getting JELOUS and CONTROLLING because they are upset the gf has 600000000000000 male friends. but then the women complain when the bf has female friends, or, even more interesting, a female “BEST FRIEND.”

YOU SHOULDNT HAVE A “BEST FRIEND” OF THE OPPOSITE SEX. THAT IS EMOTIONALLY CHEATING ON YOUR BF.

or gf or whatever.

ideally, you would be single and available, and make your opposite sex Best Friend your actual Boifran. because best friend implies  closeness, intimacy, emotional connection that really MUDDIES THE WATERS when it is across Gender Lines. one person ALWAYS WANTS MORE hehehehe.

http://www.livescience.com/5031-hypermiling-driving-tricks-stretch-miles-gallon.html

heh. this is me. i would rather drive at 30 mph everywhere than stop at lights hahahahaha.

HYPERMILING hehehehe

i am not as obsessive about fuel efficiency, i just hate stopping at lights hahaha.

bbbbbut i still feel bad about being so PUSHY to her that she BLOCKED me.

bbbbbut i thought she didnt have to BLOCK me, she could have TALKED to me THEN blocked me.

bbbbbbut maybe im underestimating what a HORRIBLE CREEP NARCISSIST WOMAN HATER SCARY BABY I’m being!

ken bone said “i saw jennifer lawrences butt hole, and I liked it” on reddit hahahahaha.

i bet he did! i bet I would too! and any red blooded man!

i think i briefly looked at some of those pictures but not very long and dont remember a BHole pic, which is especially titillating.

then you think of your version of That Woman and how men have photos of HER BHole on THEIR phone. and women think all these guys just DELETE these pictures once they are done fooking. COME ON.

and i never even made out with her, or cuddled with her, or spent enough time with her, or got her to make an effort for me. show ME her BHole and gush jooice all over muh D. which she does for every tyrone and rodney and dontravius.

and i hate how i was so stupid and omega and weak and pushy that i Pushed her to this. i became what women hate the most: a spineless, supplicating orbiter, not even worthy of a courtesy text before Blocking.

well at least i didnt stalk her and Hound her afterwards. yeah i sent her emails. EMAILS. big deal. yeah they were long but she prob didnt even read them. might have just BLOCKED them.

what if your GF accuses you of being abusive, gaslighting, controlling, manipulating, a horrible person, but you dont think you are those things, but you do know you are a little jealous, clingy, needy, which maybe leads to some semi-controlling things, but not what you would call abusive or manipulative or gaslighting?

never teach women these words because they will use them against you hahahahaha. stop GASLIGHTING me! she’ll say, when you are calling her out for something genuinely ridiculous.

tyrone and leroy and rodney dont GASLIGHT me! they fook me HARD and take pictures of muh BHole and I like it!

also these women will be thrown for a LOOP when they see how WILLING I am to go to counseling with them. oh you think im controlling? well ok lets go to a shrink right now to fix this, unless youd rather walk away!

and then they would probably walk away, and spend a year trying to beg dontravius to go to a counselor hahahaha.

also women can CONVERT a male friend to a Lover at least 100 times more easily than a man can convert a female friend to a lover. AND THATS A DAMN FACT!!!!!

and i am NOT just talking about the other FACT that women have many MORE male friends than men have female friends. but controlling for this factor. because im very CONTROLLING hahahahaha.

 

ex gf returns 5 years later to apologize, make better closure, now ex bf is obsessing about her again, then she says lets go NC, and he is all confused and in luv with her again.

this is exactly why you go NC in the first place. while trying to have mature communication and get as much “CLOSURE” as you can at the time. you have like a 1 month window to get closure, then its over. NC 4 LYFE. Till Death.

heh. took some nyquil for the first time in a while. a whole dose. which will prob lead to “hangover” tomorrow.

well thing to remember is nyquil makes you dehydrated so you should drink A LOT of water right after taking it.

yeah i would still rather smoke MJ, but, really wouldnt want to do that with FOUR interviews coming up hehehehehe.

heheheh now thinking about getting a PO box for a few months just so i can have MMJ correspondence sent there. then i can always cancel it after like 2 or 3 months.

can get a small po box for 3 months for 20-25 bucks. this would be worf it to me hahahaha.

 

he is right to be suspicious! also he is too trusting of HER hehehehe.  so of course now HE is the one with “TRUST ISSUES.” what a bunch of manhaters hahaha.

 

interesting read hehehehe cuz yeah you can get an idea how they run their business by their priorities and the decisions they make in fixing problems. bandaids, fires, short term vs long term focus, etc.

heres a good one. i am still not sure whats going on. yet its my job to tell albert that this is the only workaround. also i dont have a manager who is approving me to escalate it to engineering. and albert would instead argue with me, well why CANT a patch fix it? why does it HAVE to be a full upgrade? and i would say I dont know, I can’t explain it to you, and I can’t transfer you to the guy who is telling me it CANT BE DONE.

but honestly, isnt that case a little CONFUSING? and you need to solve it in 20 minutes? every 20 minutes, a new weird case like this, all day, every day?

even the comments just make stupid jokes about vladimir without trying to clairfy the salty snacks patch business.

anyway. i just want to know if i did something really horrible to a person, or not. because i dont want to do horrible things to people! damn!

i really dont think i did! but i also dont trust my judgment, esp on relships!

but still. i dont think i did something horrible evil.

but it WAS a CLUSTERFOOK of a situation that would take AT LEAST a year to even START to make ANY progress. just being close to something THAT clusterfooky is bad.

i mean i dont WANT to be a horrible person! I WANT TO BE A GOOD PERSON!!! PRINCIPLED!!!!!!!!

though WOMEN think I am a horrible person, IM REALLY NOT A HORRIBLE PERSON? OR AM I?

WELL I REALLY DONT WANT TO BE!!!!!!!

im not as bothered by this as all this shouting makes it seem. although i certainly WAS!

right now i am just zoned out on nyquil. kinda bored tbh but too lazy to do anything. if i had MJ i would totes do it. lots of it. just waiting to go to bed tbh.

so right now i am more worried about the job situation than i am about that woman, and also some worrying about All Women In General, and generalizing TOO MUCH from That Woman To All Women, and i should NOT do that.

Not All Women Are Like That Woman!!!!!!!!!!1

and that woman wasnt even that BAD. but it was just that one thing that i didnt like. well not all women will do that one thing. namely dump you without a word, just a straight blocking.

oct 21

ok next day after full dose of nyquil. not a bad “hangover” at all. better than expected. and lemme make clear, the worst nyquil hangover is way better than the best alcohol hangover!

it is just IMPOSSIBLE to be Confident Around Women (and to a lesser extent, men) when you are a Jobless Bum!!!!!!!!

well maria bartiromo is like 50 years old and i would GLADLY bang the shit out of her and her huge probably fake tits. and i dont normally even pay attention to tits hahahahaha. i am much more of a legs/ass/hips man.

i mean her i wouldnt get any delusions or fantasies about the GFE because she is an Old Hag. i guess this si the ideal type of women to have for FWB. but tbh less than 1% of 50 year old women look nearly as good as her.

i dunno. i just hate having to explain to angry customers why we cant do this, when i dont understand why we cant do this. and i dont know if they are just being a bad customer, or my company is being a bad company. or really both are shitty, but whos worse. SHOULD the company be screwing THIS customer in THIS case.

finally passed the 2 thousand dollars of Work amount, which really is not a lot. in terms of Hours Of Work on muh job search, times 12 dollars an hour. i have only done 168 hours of actual work on the job search. which is DISGRACEFUL hahahahaha.

good lord. i dont ever want to become this blind hhahaha. its like she doesnt even realize CHEATING is horribly bad!

and this is the guys WIFE of SEVEN years. DAMN. maybe that is the “7 year itch.” shit i dunno. i never made it to seven MONTHS. technically, not even seven WEEKS.

bitches get the seven WEEK itch with me, hahahahahahahahaha.

the seven DAY itch, 7 HOUR itch more like it, amirite. can only keep a womans interest for 7 hours. great job. hahahaha.

i’m not THAT uninteresting! if women cared about IMPORTANT things, theyd see i was VERY interesting!

but then again, a woman who is too interested in politics is inherently crazy!

well, what about a woman who is super interested in MORALITY??!?!?!?!

yeah i would be ok with that. that would be great. because then she would be very interested in not being a dirty whore or cheater. yes.

and if she’s crazy…..well ALL women are CRAZY, just give me the ones that are MORAL. as long as their craziness doesnt compromise their MORALITY and make them behave immorally, like cheating, abandoning, or being a slut. then give me crazy moral all day erryday 4 lyfe.

shit who cares. as long as they are moral to me. shit go ahead and cheat on me, just dont dump me hahahahaha. work out a DEAL with me to dump me in a way that i can handle. like negotiating a payment plan.  to wean me off of you. and give me a pound of MJ too.

was reading city-data forums today. people in my region talking about getting a college degree and making 50k in their mid twenties. now im 30 and make 60k without a masters degree. i just had to have a good work ethic and work 70 to 80 hours a week for the first few years to pay my dues.

heh thing is, i dont want to work 80 hours a week to pay my dues.  would just as soon go crazy and quit!!!!!!!

why cant you jusy pay your dues at 40-50 hours a week?

how do people handle this?

i KNOW that having a qt waifu would help take the edge off, as would a steady source of MJ.

you can have another boifran, even a black one, just let me have my fantasy, dont talk about him, and hang out with me 1 or 2 times a week. and dont give me any diseases. and when you cut me off lets work out a cutting off PLAN.

i was doing a 3.2 mile powerwalk and about 1.5 miles from muh home I found, on the ground, a little canister for MMJ. horree sheet. it was broken and there was nothing in it OF COURSHE, but i just thought it was funny, considering muh obsession with getting a MMJ card and ultimately, a neverending supply of MMJ, and I would not throw my canisters on the side of the road like a negro.

maybe I should have Scraped the Canister for some Kief Krystals hahahahahahahahaha.

heh i dont necessarily think women would CHEAT on me with their male friends, but i WOULD totally worry that they, social butterflies that they are, always meeting interesting hot new guys, that they would find a guy that is better in the Mate Market than me, and then dump me for him.

i mean thats BETTER than CHEATING, but I really do HATE being DUMPED. replaced. traded in for an UPGRADE. really i cant imagine cheating being much worse. i mean the shit is probably gonna end anyway. might as well get as much time wiht the woman as you can.

yeah but she could give you a disease. and really cheating IS worse than dumping. why would you want to spend another minute with someone so immoral.

well maybe if someone cheats on you, its easier for you to HATE them, therefore easier to GET OVER them, because it’s much easier to BLAME them for doing smething OBVIOUSLY HORRIBLE. where dumping is not really horrible at all. you cant really HATE someone for dumping you. theyre not really WRONGING you. in the way that cheating is.

 

what a fooking dumb idiot slut. guy point blank tells her he doesnt like just secs without dating, she wants “just secs” from her “CRUSH” no less. I thought CRUSH meant you LIKED the person and wanted to DATE them. which is clearly what HE wants to do. i would like to think a 22 year old could be more mature than this. than a big slutty BABY.

https://www.reddit.com/r/niceguys/

OH GODDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD

sluts who fook chads and hate niceguys make fun of and mainly talk about how evil and rapey and creepy niceguys are, and how its so much better when chad nuts in their eye hahahahaha.

what i never got is, why do YOU LIKE treating people as a DOORMAT?

if someone were throwing themselves under my feet and wanting me to be a doormat, i mean it wouldnt even work, because IM NOT WILLING TO WALK ON ANOTHER PERSON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

IN ORDER TO BE A DOORMAT, THE WOMAN HAS TO BE WILLING TO WALK ON YOU!!!!!!!

i would say listen, stop being a doormat, Im not gonna walk on you.

no im not the worst niceguy ever, but i have some niceguy tendencies, and i can sympathize with some niceguys.

I mean honestly i would never say these things, i stopped saying woe is me, nice guys finish last, yeaaarrrrrssssss ago, so i am thankful for that. but i am still a meek timid nice guy. i know GOD DAMN ALL TOO FOOKING WELL that it doesnt entitle me to anything and that it is THE SHITTIEST, WORST strategy ever, and that women HATE nice guys.

i mean i wish they didnt hahahahahahahaha. stupid bitches and whores hahahaha.

apparently referring to women as “females” is telltale nice guy, means you treat them as a separate, unknowable species. dead giveaway.

i mean i very rarely use this term, i just say women to mean the same thing, a seaparate, stupid, slutty, species hahahaha.

anyway yeah what made things difficult with That Woman is that i DID know her, it WASNT a fantasy, i got to know her, knew the real her for 2.7 years. its not like i just MET her and immediately projected my fantasy waifu all over her. (which i have done with other women.) when i first met That Woman I wasnt projecting ANYTHING on her. i didnt even really THINK about her that much.  i just said well she seems like a nice gurl with a hard life, she deserves a good man, but i just cant be that man. oh shes got a boifran? well hope hes a good guy and they get married. oh theyre having trouble? well i hope they figure it out. then i meet him. oh he is a good guy, just a little autistic and stubborn. they can still work this out if he wants to. he doesnt want to. he’s done. he’s gone now. now ive known her for almost 2 years. jeez maybe i DO want to be a Good Guy 4 U. and if shes just gonna give it away to negros, why not me? yeah thats a little ENTITLED sure, but i didnt really feel entitled to her Dating me, as much as i felt ENTITLED to her ending the Rel in a more Sensitive way hahahaha. i never called her a fooking bitch to her face like these nice guys do.

yeah i mean the nice guys are cringeworthy, but these WOMEN dont need to HATE them so much. I REALLY doubt any of these nice guys would be Monstrous Abusers. shit, they cant even get a woman TO abuse hahahahaha.

if anything, CHAD would be somewhat more likely to be an abuser, IMHO!!!!!

I mean at least half of Chads are Good Guys anyway. to coin a term in contrast to “nice guys.” so then what do we call ACTUALLY nice guys? i say we call them “good guys”. i mean shit i still call them “nice guys” but then bitches like this subreddit think im talking about the bad kind of nice guys.

but yeah if a guy starts throwing him at your feet and saying WALK ON ME! IM A DOORMAT!!! that doesnt mean you HAVE to do it! i would say, stand the hell up, i dont walk on anybody.