wed feb 21 YOU’LL NEVER FIND A DECENT MAN BECAUSE YOU’RE A DISGUSTING H00R WHO’S FOOKED TEN GUYS AND YOU’D MAKE A HORRIBLE WIFE AND MOTHER

july 16

it just bothers me that women ALWAYS have the next guy LINED RIGHT UP. monkey branch, lilly pad, whatever you want to call it, there is NO downtime between cox. its like OH THANKS FOR AT LEAST NOT TECHNICALLY CHEATING ON ME and having the decency to dump me before you IMMEDIATELY started fooking another guy.

while it takes me THREE YEARS to get over YOU, you were fooking a new guy IMMEDIATELY and in 3 years probably fooked TEN more guys.

yeah i mean its MY problem that it takes me so long to get over women. i own that issue hahahaha. but it SHOULD take a DECENT amount of time to get over someone. AT LEAST one year. maybe not three, but at least one.

but NO, in that one year theyve fooked at least 3 more guys.

that alone should tell you that men and women are very very very different, and anyone who says they are NOT, are evil fooking nation and race wreckers who are trying to genocide your race.

because BELIEVING that men and women are the same will destroy your own life and make you a neet virgin with no legacy to leave.

so youre saying i should contact that woman after 2 years, and pretend to be a real tough man, spank the shit out of her, and then we can live happily ever after?

but imagine all the stupid and disgusting shit she’s done in the last 2 years!

and also showing no remorse for hurting me!

but women are NATURALLY INCAPABLE of feeling REMORSE!!!!!! so you cant ever WANT them to.

so should i try to WIN HER BACK because im OBVIOUSLY not going to find a BETTER woman?

but i never really HAD her to begin with!

well i sort of had her in the sense that she was nice to me and wanted to spend time with me.

but that was TOTAL FRIENDZONE! the SECOND she realized i was interested in Non Friendzone stuff, she could not have dumped me any faster and disappeared without a trace! obviously the very idea of us Dating, or Fooking, as its interpreted in the Female Negro Mind, was so utterly abominable to her.

sheeeeeit. she felt the same way about Dating ME, as I feel about HER fooking NEGROS. so disgusting there arent even words for it. talk about humble pie!

and honestly, thats female bullshit. because though i may be an omega male, she would be much better off dating me than dating a negro!

but women dont see it this way because thats not how NATURE designed them. they dont care about race mixing, they only care about BRUTE STRENGTH, and negros have more of it than a weak omega white male. the race doesnt matter at ALL to them. it’s MENS job to care about and preserve the race. NOT womens.

i just wish nature hadnt designed them SO childlike and SO negrolike. nature really could have tried a LITTLE damn harder hahahaha.

i guess it didnt HAVE to, because it designed men to go SO goddamn CRAZY over their feminine bodies. so again, its mens fault hahaha.

and then men make up this elaborate fantasy of luv and feminine charm to map over these feminine bodies and imagine that these women have beautiful personalities to match. they don’t. their personalities are like jooish negro brat children.

you’re not supposed to like it. you’re foolish if you DO like it.

and it also kinda annoys me to see young and successful men who dont have a negative view of women. you’d think if you were successful at life, you would have learned the TRUTH about women. but really, if you’re successful at life, then women will treat you better, and you’ll probably like them more. until they divorce you at age 38 and only THEN you become a mgtow hahahaha.

so you spank your wife and FORCE her to stay at home. FORCE her to spend time with your kids and homeschool them. after a few years of that she’ll never want to abandon your family like a hypergamous mercenary and she will loyally defend your family to the death, just the way a good woman should.

but having a CAREER and putting the kids in DAYCARE with blacks and browns is a recipe for disaster for your marriage, and your poor kids!

WOMEN WILL DESTROY EVERYTHING AROUND THEM UNLESS YOU CONTROL THEM.

this is the price we have to pay for Reproduction. no one said it was gonna be EASY!

the good news is that after a few years of control, you can probably let up a little bit and leave them alone for a few hours without them causing too much damage.

and you can do all this through spanking, grounding, and taking away their phone. its not complicated! it just takes a strong will.

so maybe i should try it on that woman? because what really matters is how much i want the woman. i dont want any women except for her. she is the only woman i give a damn about hahaha. and it would be good for me to be actually COMMITTED to the mother of my children and muh wife……RIGHT?

or would it be better just to find a NEW woman to care about? almost certainly yes hehehehe. i have cared about 7 or 8 women in my life, chances are there will be 1 more.

bbbut she was a decent hwyte woman, she was TRAINABLE!!!! and she had a LOW NUMBER!! and she was sweet and feminine!

anyway. that is enough Obsessing about it for today. obsess about it no more than 10 minutes a day.

ok went for powerwalk.

QUOTE from stupid B linked last post

I know I can’t have Matthew back, and it hurts when I hear snippets of information about his life and how content he is. Fifteen years after I ended our relationship, he is happily married.

Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-2263518/I-left-love-life-I-thought-I-better-Now-Im-childless-42.html#ixzz4n12b0Ydy

END

good. im glad he is happily married, hopefully to a hwyte woman, hopefully with many whyte children, and would never take this bitch back no matter how much she begged him.

you need to start shaming women again, saying in a loud, clear voice, saying something direct and copyable that catches on. memes and propaganda. say

YOU’LL NEVER GET A GOOD MAN BECAUSE YOU’RE A DISGUSTING WHORE WHO’S FOOKED 10 GUYS AND WOULD MAKE A HORRIBLE WIFE AND MOTHER.

memorize this phrase and use it every day on a different woman.

this will make 10 guys seem like a high number when in 2017, its really not. but it should be. shit 3 should be a high number but we can start with 10 for now. because theres way too many average women who have been with 10+ guys and that is fooking disgusting.

one of the ways we can STOP women from becoming such disgusting whores is with SHAME, like publicly saying the things above. thats what they used to say and it kept women in line. back in the better days.

was feeling grumpy and low energy so laid down for almost 2 hours. prob didnt actually sleep for more than 20 minutes. but overall it was good. ws thinking too much about that woman and women though. i mean it really is a damn obsession.

oh well at least i dont act on it hahahhahaha.

https://bbs.dailystormer.com/t/the-daily-shoah-featuring-andrew-anglin/120698

ayyyyyyy this happened on july 14

i know hes been on at least once before but i didnt feel they were respecting him enough hahaha

no they werent disrespecting him but anglin is best one on one and there are always 3 or 4 people on the damn daily shoah. ideally it would be just anglin and enoch.

repeat it with me: this is our white patriarchy tool for getting OUR women back in line, and this is OUR RESPONSIBILITY:

YOU’LL NEVER FIND A DECENT MAN BECAUSE YOU’RE A DISGUSTING WH0RE WHO’S FOOKED TEN GUYS AND YOU’D MAKE A HORRIBLE WIFE AND MOTHER.

just hit them hard verbally with this and maybe in 20 years the next generation will be better. i mean generation zyklon is already showing a lot of good potential. maybe when we are 50 we can marry a nice 18 year old gurl hahahahaha.

SHAME THOSE SLUTS!!!!!

also, i can get top 10% grades in high school, prob top 30% grades in college, yet get 10% WORST in terms of Pay and Career Success, because i am not TOUGH or MANLY enough to DEAL WITH REAL LIFE. That sucks!

Time to join the LIFTWAFFE!!!!!!!!!!

i am happy that is now i thing. i just learned about it a few weeks ago. great name too.

we only want women because that is WHAT NATURE INTENDED. theres really no stopping it.

got the rational male book INSANELY fast. brand new. the print is pretty small. but this is a book i want to be long as possible because i need to learn about women hehehehe. learn what. that they are children who need to be controlled. he has a chapter called “children with dynamite” or something hahaha.

i flipped through it. saw something where he mentioned porn and did not instantly condemn it. uh oh hehehe. well honestly i wouldnt expect him to. this is not a VVN writer. you have to apply that filter yourself. but the context was he was talking about wives feeling too threatened by porn and thinking of it as cheating, where he is like, who cares, its no big deal. well i say it is kind of a big deal, just because its morally degenerate, nto because it threatens your supply of poosay hahahaha. well it might do that too!

well if a woman is REALLY committed to you, she’ll stay with you and beg you to stop watching porn. which you really should do. if she’s not committed to you, she’ll dump you before you ever get to that point.

https://farmersalmanac.com/blog/2015/07/29/get-rid-of-stubborn-underarm-odors-from-clothes/

when you wear your favorite dress shirt then suddenly you smell BO even though you’re not really sweating. and you conclude that its a smell that is semi-permanently in the shirt because youve worn the shirt regularly for 3 and a half years. and, unlike human men, which you can easily throw away like a piece of garbage and replace immediately with a new and better one, a good shirt is hard to find!

so then i felt uncomfortable getting within 3 feet of people who then might think i have a BO Problem, which i really don’t! well, not severely, like an arab, negro, indian, or italian hahahahahaha.

this is it. FINALLY made it to THE FINAL CHAPTER OF MK. Vol 2, Chap 15. The right to self defense or something.

you’d be better off just watching, listening, or reading AH speeches. there was nothing here i didnt already know, other than AH hated the hapsburgs and he wanted an alliance with britain and he considered france germany’s greatest enemy. apart from j’s hahahaha.

if any of my coworkers suddenly had strong BO, i would give them the BENEFIT OF THE DOUBT and say ITS PROBABLY IN THAT ONE SHIRT becuase they dont NORMALLY smell that bad, and ive lived long enough to know how smells can stay in shirts even AFTER washing and drying.

in other words, people probably arent judging me as The Smelly BO Guy, because i wouldnt judge THEM like that. i would be very likely to give them the benefit of the doubt and blame it on the shirt and not the person.

this is not something women would do hahahahahahahahaha.  this is a very masculine virtue hahaha. all virtues ARE masculine hahahaahaha.

no these are all 50+ year old post menopausal women. those type of women are all right, unless they dont have children, and all these women do thankfully.

guy on DS recommending skrewdriver song from “the white rider”

might try lysol on the armpits of shirt until i can get some baking soda from store on friday grocery store errand. theres a good thought haha.

did some reading of GLR WP and found it takes ABOUT 3 minutes to read one page out loud. takes ABOUT 3 minutes to read/listen to 1 page of MK out loud. interesting. figure it takes 3 minutes to read a page. period.

so a 500 page book will take you 1500 minutes to read. /60 = 25 hours. period.

got some nice sun today from about 250 pm to 340 pm.  actually succeeded in reddening my pale skin almost, even at this late hour.

that was very very welcome. hadnt done some Sunbathing in at least a week! its honestly hard to do if its cloudy!

so yeah the rational male is partially degenerate and me and anglin should write the 1433 hwyte mans guide to women and how to master them for their natural use of the 14 words, which the rational male does not talk about, HOWEVER, he does have a LOT of VERY good stuff in here.

for example, there is no such thing as “THE ONE.” no one woman is THE ONE. and of course thats exactly what i was thinking about THat Woman. She was THE ONE and I BLEW it.

when in reality she was just one of many “ones.” and really, any woman i get along with at ALL could also be one of those ones.

also, RM talks about stuff we already knew but need repeated over and over:

  1. MEN ARE THE ROMANTIC SEX. WOMEN ARE THE COLD HARD REALISTS.
  2. WOMEN ARE NOT CAPABLE OF LOVING THE WAY MEN ARE.

basically men are capable of loving deeper and BETTER than women. men are better lovers than women hahaha. period. and if you think ANY woman can luv YOU the way you luv HER, you are WRONG. they just arent BUILT that way.

but for a guy that likes to “connect the dots” as he says…..he stops connecting the dots ABOVE sex. he doesnt move on to race like any TRULY open minded thinker will hehehehe.

he thinks his marxist jooish professors were all blinded by The Luv Myth that they couldn’t apply their Hard Scientific Behaviorism to the idea of sex and women.

well that’s probably partially true. many men dont want to believe this carefully crafted joo lie. but the smartest hwyte men will recognize it as a joo lie. which keeps men powerless before women, who is in turn powerless before the j.

i cant crap on RM too much because there is solid gold here. that will help US with OUR 1433 goals. but i just want to turn these guys onto 1433 too. RM talks about the “MYTH” of the “lonely old man” but i have to think……how can you NOT be lonely without CHILDREN and GRANDCHILDREN? FOOK the stupid WOMEN, this is all about the CHILDREN!

i just wish we had a better vehicle for creating children than WOMEN. maybe artificial wombs ARE a good thing hahahaha. because good lord. the good lord above did such a HALF ASS NEGRO JOB when he made woman. and its kinda jooish to think we wouldn’t NOTICE.

WOMAN IS PROOF THAT GOD IS A JOOISH NEGRO.

vely ralge brack pirru hehehehehe.

DID YOU THINK WE WOULDNT NOTICE????

and most men are so Under The Spell they dont really CARE. they know something is stupid about women, but they dont care, because what else are you supposed to FOOK and jerk off to porn of? go to a glory hole and fook other GUYS? thats even WORSE hehehehe. and it really is. id rather get divorce raeped by some bitch, than become a glory hold gay degen hahahahaha.

 

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sun jan 28 HAIL THE HOCKEN KROYTZ

june 22

some things about women, like their lust for POWER and BRUTE STRENGTH, is understandable. it makes sense.

other things do not make sense, like: so men get into these friendzone situations sometimes because their ideal is a qt waifu who is super qt……..BUT WHO THEY ALSO GET ALONG WITH REALLY WELL. it makes perfect sense. what if you found a totally nice qt gurl, and you ALSO got along with her really well. it doesnt take much creative thinking to see how that is an ideal situation.

but that is too much logic and common sense for women. if they get along with a guy really well, then its almost GUARANTEED that she will friendzone the guy, and NEVER EVER EVER get feelings for him.

similarly: men can get feelings for female friends over time. the feels can DEVELOP from just friends to omg im starting to like muh female friend as more than a friend.

this does not happen with women and their male friends. either the women has feelings for the man RIGHT AWAY, or they NEVER EVER WILL.

so this doesnt make a lot of sense to me. wouldnt a man you got along with really really well give you some sense of SECURITY that you could TRUST him to PROVIDE and PROTECT for you and your children? (looking at the evolutionary shit here.)

but NOoOoOoOoOoOoOo. they guy needs to have brute strength AND you cant really know him well enough to trust him. trust never enters into the picture. actually if it DOES, thats BAD. bad for the woman LIKING you I mean.

thats the kind of shit that gets me fired up. not being attracted to sissies, i get. being attracted to big strong brutes, i get. but not being able to Develop Feelings over the long term for a trusted friend, i dont get at all.

heres the other thing. maybe related.

WOMEN HAVE MUCH MORE MALE FRIENDS, THAN MEN HAVE FEMALE FRIENDS.

your typical friendzone beta will have ONE woman friend, and he will prob be in luv with her. but this one woman will have like TEN male friends, and MOST of them will be in luv with her. how cruel to string them along and give them false hope like that! no man would do that!

but jsut lookig at the numbers…..well it doesnt really add up. women have more male friends, so women should be falling in luv with their male friends MORE than men fall in luv with their female friends….

heh. forgot the point i wanted to make. besides women get too much luv and men get too little. but that makes SENSE, because sperm is dirt cheep and eggs are super expensive.

so dont get butthurt when one of the sperm gets butthurt when the expensive egg decides to go slumming and lower its price to that of sperm only for the biggest toughest most untrustworthy shady sperm hahahaha.

SPERM WARS hahahaha

sheeeeeeit

well i deleted that picture because it might be interpreted as libel or slander against TRS people hehehe. plus i dont fully believe this. i dont know what to believe. in fact it could be just another in the “TRS ARE PHAG ENABLERS” drama that has gone on forever, like with common filth.

matt forney is a fat race mixing beta but hes not jooish and i dont think hes a LIAR.  but yeah stuff like this is worse than the joowife thing. good god. also greg johnson could probably dox me if he wanted. well i never did anything against him hahaha. but these accusations are INSANE. i mean even if 10% of that is true. i would pretty much HAVE to disavow trs and get rid of muh trs shirt!

how much personal responsibility does enoch have in this? johnson? richard spencer? do you get BANNED for talking about “THE THIRD JIMPACT” on TRS? probably hahahaha.

you might even get banned on DS.

so youre saying all of the VVN alt right are in league with satanic jooish pedophile pizzamakers??!?!?!?!?!??!?!?!?!???!?!?!?!

of course women dont make sense! i guess we should be grateful that they make as much sense as they do, in that everything they do fits the MO of them being a retarded CHILD, and that they respond best to BRUTE STRENGTH and basically need to be DOMINATED, in that you need to show them who’s BOSS and NEVER LET THEM FORGET IT. it’s like dealing with a retarded child DOG. you dont have to ABUSE them, you just have to make sure they never forget youre boss. its like TAKING CARE of a CHILD or a DOG.

and you can understand a LOT of what they do within that framework….but not everything. and is that so suprising? men and women are SO GODDAMN DIFFERENT, its ALMOST as much as a difference between RACES.

speaks to the evil of you know who (YKW) when they try to make you think racial and sexual differences are all a social construct goy!

fook no, they are YUGE BIOLOGICAL WALLS.

yeah i would LIKE if i could just have a female friend i got along REALLY WELL with, and then we upgrade that to the next level, have a stable lifelong thing, children, etc. that makes total sense right? but not to a woman. and women just dont WORK like that. so how come men WORK in a way that just DOESNT WORK?

yeah but im defective anyway hahaha. i work in a lot of ways that just dont work well.

but yeah WHAT THE FOOK kind of drama is going on. i mean this shit makes joo wife and the associated avoiding look positively harmless. Grooming 15 year old boys for gay sex???!?!?!?!?! how much did the higher ups know? how exactly was greg stalking or harrassing people???? where is the proof of this stuff? i mean that shit is legit BAD.

i mean im a lenient forgiving guy. id even forgive a little gayness. its not as bad as the shit WOMEN do! except when it turns into gay fook parties. thats some woman-tier degeneracy right there. total sodom and gomorrah.

i mean i dont know if its as bad as jooish PIZZAGATE which itself is a whole other discussion. i mean that seems too ridiculous to even be a little bit true. well….i have no doubt that joos in DC and everywhere molest children.

that there might be rings of perverts in powerful political positions plundering puerile peepees in pizza parlours.

i just dont want the hwyte nationalists i respect to do disgusting, unrespectable, possibly evil things. some gay shenanigans is possibly forgivable. molesting children is immediate bvllet in the head in the public square.

what about fooking a 15 year old boy? i dunno. thats a little better than molesting a CHILD. definitely a few weeks in the public stockade though.

http://boards.4chan.org/pol/thread/130109850/the-3rd-jimpact-the-death-knell-for-trs

i honestly dont think anything new is coming to light. greg has been soft on gays for YEARS, everyone has thought he was a homo for YEARS.

we dont have PROOF of ghoul doing anything. maybe he went to a get together where a shady homo made up some lies.

https://www.google.com/search?q=third+jimpact

all the google results to like 8ch and 4ch and anime right and shit are giving 404s and super SHORT chan threads.

oh it must be true if TRS is getting the stuff SHUT DOWN.

that, or they dont want terrible slander posted about them!

OR, you could make an official statement about it, kinda liek you could make a speedy, official statement about joowife, which i guess was the first jimpact.

[NSFW] IMGUR ALBUM FULL OF EVIDENCE:

http://imgur.com/a/x4uSX

yeah im not super convinced by that evidence hahaha. how do we know whose dick that is.

https://altright.com/2017/06/17/the-attacks-on-arktos/

somewhat different greg vs arktos drama

its just weird that so much stuff related to the 3rd jimpact comes up in google results but the shit is taken down or very brief when you go to the actual website.

did trs contact those sites mods and say remove this shit, its LIBEL?

like i guess matt forney posted those things on gab and now those posts of his are GONE from GAB. i didnt think gab removed shit.

june 23

i just dont like women. the only woman i wanted to BE WITH was HER. And I dont see a reason Having Children with a woman, unless I feel like THAT with the woman. Seems stupid and negrish to have children with a woman when you just think of her as a casual slut because she IS a casual slut. and ive gotten to the point where I wouldnt mind having some casual sluts. but i sure wouldnt want to be monogamous with the slut, or ESPECIALLY have CHILDREN with the slut! its not fair to the CHILDREN! its negrish!!!!!

I want to have children, therefore i want to find a woman worth having children with, and im not finding any of those, just women i want to casually bang for a while and replace, which IS degenerate, but not as degen for ME NEARLY as it is for THEM. I do NOT want to have children with these women.

but 1, 2, 3 casual women? why shouldn’t I? they have 20 casual cochs! and THEY can get pregnant!

i just hate seeing what are essentially CHILDREN/DOGS winning more at life (career, jobs, money) than me. how can a CHILD make more money than me and do better in their career than me.

day off. now i dont work enough hours so i have too much time off. so i try to stay productive during some of it. like get out and do errands and shit as soon as possible.  do laundry. Fast a bit, not eat as damn much. drink bulletproof coffee hehehe.

went to walmart and returned muh white polo shirt which was the wrong size, got the right size, AND got a second polo shirt with a more fancy design. all for VERY good price.

is porn evil? YES Georgie Boy, I am glad you are making a video on this exact topic. it is total jooish depravity and degeneracy, right up there with female sluttiness. between these two jooish things the joos have done more damage than anything.

im not sure if that is a real gun, i hope it is, because guns are AWESOME.

i hope george is not going crazy but is just having a little fun with a very serious topic. there SHOULD be a EXTREME PURGE of Porn from the face of the earth.

i could care less about george being fat and having manboobs, other than i hope he loses weight as it would give him more confidence and be better for his health. the best way for any fat person to lose weight is to keep TRACK of their CALORIES and SIMPLY NOT EAT AS MUCH. this was how I lost 40 pounds over the past 1 and half years. i had gained weight because i liked to eat a LOT and i had no idea how many calories were in all that food. answer: A LOT. enough to make me gain a TON of weight.

so, just use myfitnesspal every day and OBEY IT and you WILL lose a LOT of weight George.

I will never mock or be a wiseass in the comments for George. I am a True Fan and truly Support George.

if you are reading this George, i sent you a Paypal dnation of 5 feckin dollars on or near december 25, 2016. you should have my email in there and PLZ dont DOX me!

hmm. i just learned florian geyer is involved with the jimpact podcast. now i like florian and i was pissed when he was banned from TRS. i enjoyed him a hella lot in his smart insightful comments and his participation in the nationalist review, a great podcast which needs to be brought back but it would probably not be allowed on TRS.

but yeah florian, like common filth, really saw TRS as phag enablers and this jimpact thing is really in line with that.

but maybe they really ARE phag enablers?

i am kind of a phag enabler myself. in that i will forgive a little of youthful phaggotry provided it never reached standard fook party levels of degeneracy, and that i believe female sluttishness is right up with there phaggotry in terms of moral degeneracy, AND a LOT more prevalent and destructive. because only 3% of men are homos, but at least 75% of women are sluts.

going for quick powerwalk here

welp started listening to jimpact and i am starting to think these guys just have a beef with greg and trs. but i thought greg was recently banned from trs. but that was for other stuff, not gayness, but general shady drama and his feud with daniel friberg.

so in other words its all lies and thats why these sites took it down, because this is LIBEL and SLANDER and LIES.  and shouldnt LIES be censored?

heh. if youre reading this greg, i never slandered you, so dont dox me! dont dox anyone! i dont think he’s doxed anyone, but i think that was one of the accusations. was that he might blackmail people. i havent seen any proof that he ACTUALLY blackmails people. like take this shit down or i will dox you.

so yeah. leaning towards this jimpact being BS but i will listen to it anyway.

telegony. the idea that you can fook a guy once and you sort of absorb his DNA somehow and pass it on to children you have with ANOTHER guy.

sounds ridiculous but……i guess it actually does happen with flies. but with something way more complex like humans? probably way less likely.

BUT i do believe there ARE important Mental/Emotional/Psychological effects from fooking a big black buck. basically that will psychologically impact a woman for life. she will never forget it.

so yeah. im not defending mudsharks. im just questioning whether TELEGONY is a good argument against mudsharking. there are WAY BETTER arguments against mudsharking, that dont make you look like a telegony-believing idiot hahahaha.

i mean im not saying telegony coudlnt be real. its way more believable than flat earth!!!! or lizard people!

and again it all ties back to THAT WOMAN! THATS where i get butthurt, is thinking about HER being a mudshark and a slut and fooking tons of guys and sneding noodz and getting abortions and getting knocked up by badbois. i dont care nearly as much abotu random women doing these things, other than i dont want women of my race to do degenerate things.  of course. but thinking of HER doing these degen things is REALLY REALLY unpleasant. well because i CARED about her and KNEW her more than i know some random woman. so of COURSE its worse when thinking of her doing horrible things. this only makes sense.

what sucks is that i still care about her at ALL, and she hasnt become equal to some random slut for me yet.  shows im not entirely over her yet, even though its almost the auspicious TWO YEAR mark.  so how many guys has she fooked in two years? lets just say 8. how many have been black? lets just say 4.

want to become anti-interracial fooking like me? Just imagine someone you luv breaking your heart and dumping you, and then imagine them fooking sleazy people of other races.  its a little WORSE than imagining them fooking sleazebags of the SAME race, innit?

in germany you can get ARRESTED for walking down the street and SINGING the horst wessel lied!!!!!

https://bbs.dailystormer.com/t/young-white-virgin-needs-husband-apply-below/115520/5

QUOTE

G-Man2h Excalibur
It’s a good vid. I think you do too much apologizing for “white knighting”, I think it’s just natural to want to preserve what’s good and pure. Though I like the pungency of the “White Shariah” meme, I actually want more emphasis on healthy male-female dynamics (re: men and women) and brotherhood (re: members of the alt-right).

For example, some things that could be added to your vid: I think you should have reminded Stell Belle about the importance of courtship, which is how the guys are supposed to prove their worth without resorting to muh dik, and also mentioned that we should stop men-shaming men who also choose to remain virgins. It takes two to tango, and while I don’t think f00king around is as psychologically harmful for men as it is for women (and may even have some benefits, in terms of getting rid of “puppy love” syndrome), ideally both would be going into marriage as virgins. Next to impossible in this porn-and-degeneracy saturated world, but still a good ideal I think. END

https://bbs.dailystormer.com/t/child-grooming-videos-on-youtube/115568

more of these disgusting videos, yet YT is getting more and more flagrant about banning even remotely right wing people. talk of black pigeon might be banned. sheeeit what if they banned stefan molyneux. that would be insane.

https://bbs.dailystormer.com/t/need-advice-on-crap/115448

this kid is so dumb i think its a troll, but the good men of DS still give great advice.

anyway. its also stupid that the one woman i luved above all, gives herself up like a common slut, acts like all those common sluts who i dont give a damn about other than general disgust at their degen behavior. well SHES a degen like that to many other guy. fooking her young white ass. and she doesnt give a damn if i live or die.

OH WELL, NO ONE SAID LIFE IS FAIR!

are all women this stupid, childish, and immature? I THINK SO!

if i had a female friend who fell in luv with me, i wouldnt feel betrayed! i wouldnt stop caring if they lived or died! i would say THIS SUCKS. THIS IS UNFORTUNATE. ESPECIALLY FOR YOU!!!!!! But Im sorry. heres 50 bucks for drugs or booze or a shrink, i think we need to spend some time apart, sorry i cant luv you, good luck and god bless you. go on tinder and fook some negros or badboy musicians, you’ll forget about me real quick. have a good life, good luck to you, god bless you. DONE. thats ALL you need to say. i wouldnt even NEED a shrink to professionally say that.

and if someone doesnt give a damn about me, why should i give a damn about THEM. its frustrating. i just cant turn that off on a split second.

thing is i dont think she did either, she was just too cowardly and confuse. but i couldnt force myself on her either, because that would make me the bad guy, plus she wouldnt listen anyway.  nothing was gonna keep her from running away except me physically restraining her. if i had actually dated ie fooked her, i prob would have been more inclined to touch her in that way! ive fooked you hard 90000 times, you’re damn right im gonna keep you from leaving this room, and spank you until you dont want to run away any more!

another powerwalk. more jimpact. this fashy phaggots facebook group…i mean how many trs higher ups were in this? it doesnt sound like really any. and of course the actual gays who are openly proudly gay want you to think everyones gay. they might even lie about having gay secs with a straight guy to make people think he’s gay. so yeah im thinking this is a Tempest in a Teapot.

not saying that some elements of pizzagate arent real though. i do believe that some powerful people do some degenerate shit and some corrupt LEO’s cover it up for them.

a guy whos opinion i kinda respect at DS says that pizzagate is The Linchpin in all of Jooish perversion and zog power.

well something is clearly up with lindsey graham. i wouldnt be surpirsed if he was doing some horrible shit.

but yeah not even the jimpact accusers are saying these people are doing anything remotely connected to pizzagate.

although richard spencer might know about some scandalous shit happening in DC. there is speculation that a good looking old money rich boy like him received attention from rich gay perverts and that some big donors to movements are rich old gay men trying to buy support for homos in the right and alt-right.

someone made the very interesting argument that what world joory fears the most is a unified germany and russia. or at least they used to fear it before they were able to permanently cut germanys balls off.

but yeah i cant remember a time when germany and russia ever got along. well AH briefly had a nonaggression pact with stalin in like 1941 but i think stalin violated that.

 

ACCEPT SCIENCE! OR BE FOREVERBUTTHURT

apr 23

had dream with that woman last night. kinda sucked. because she was leaving me, and i was both begging her PLEASE DONT LEAVE ME, AND being a passive aggressive scheming butthurt joo, trying to scam her into staying with me, AND butthurt lashing against her for being interested in other men and not me, AND butthurt lashing against those lucky tuffguy badboi men. dont remember specifics of how that was happening, but those were the obvious feels in the dream. i was not acting like a strong decent courageous moral hwyte man. and it sucks just feeling like a weak scheming weakling. and she was sighing and saying UGH and CLEARLY totally DISGUSTED with me and my weakness.

not a good confidence building dream hahahaha.

sunday. nice and sunny. doing my sunday routine of charging shit, trimming beard to level 2, playing some cards, will do powerwalk in a bit, try to get into bed by 8pm. after like a month of keeping stats, my sleep average is 8:30 a night. 8 and a half hours.

gaining weight. now up to a scale tipping 131 lbs hahahaah. simpyl because i am going over 1500 cals too much. hahaha. because on the weekends i drink tea with too much HONEY.

well for a few weeks I was eating llife savers candies. because eating 2 bags of life savers in 2 weeks will make you gain like 4 pounds. im only half joking.

well i was eating a bit too much ice cream too.

i just hate falling in luv with a nice innocent low number gurl, then she dumps you, your heart is insanely broken, then she very likely starts becoming a high number slut, blowing and fooking guys she just met. so even if she came back to you, she wouldnt be the same decent woman, but just a common slut, but you’re so sad, youd prob take her back anyway, because you havent found anyone better, and youre still pining, still having dreams about her.

but yeah. like those guys at daily stormer said, just being a little bit off, a little bit awkward, putting your hands in your pockets, and WOMEN and JOBS think you are a HUGE WEIRDO and dont want to hang out with you or hire you. let alone bang you, or pay you 28k a year!

you cant even pull 35 year old fat mudshark single moms! you cant even make 18k a year!

BLESSED ARE THE STRONG! THE MEEK WILL INHERIT NOTHING!

yeah well at least i dont watch porn hahaha. i dont want to watch porn hahaha. at least i dont drink. i dont really WANT to drink. at least i dont do MJ. but I really, really, really WANT to do MJ a LOT!!!!!! and thats bad.

i went into a home depot recently and was overwhelmed by just one aisle with all different types of screws, nuts, washers, brads, bolts, spikes, nails, and i was like, who UDNERSTANDS all of this shit? do stupid mexicans really understand all this? and if they do, doesnt that make them smarter and better than me? drug addicted construction workers who at best smoke MJ all day on the job (and after), and at worst, pop opioids all day? they can understand this complicated shit and do this job and I cant????

it was national ((((science)))) day on ((((earth day)))) yesterday and i saw this goy scientist on cspan. obviously a goy. but the activist shit he said was PURE JOO. he was so excited telling a story of a little gurl (prob PoC hahahaha) who luved sciecne. WOW I LUV SCIENCE and BACTERIA! BACTERIAS ARE SO KEWL! she was talking to a science grad student, prob an evil hwyte male. she said, do you study kool bacteria in there, and he responded, no not really, we have some bacteria, but they are really just to help enable protein activation or some phd science shit.

then the guy telling the story, i think tyler dewitt was his name, said, this is horrible, because it taught the little gurl that

  1. scientists are mean and grumpy
  2. science is CONFUSING and overwhelming
  3. MAYBE PEOPLE WHO LOOK LIKE YOU SHOULD STAY AWAY FROM SCIENCE.

at that point I was like fook this joo, how can you be so stupid. he seems like a totally sincere goy who sincerely believes the joo lies. i  turned it off quickly after and said, well he would have told a little BOY the same thing. plus I’m sure phd level science IS confusing and overwhelming, and he has a ton of work to do, therefore he is very stressed, therefore hes grumpy to everyone all the time, not just little gurls asking about science, but everyone all the time. hes grumpy to his gay PoC boifrands.

i wont deny that phd programs are a lot of WORK, and alot of the phd students like to be Workaholic Martyrs for that. nope i cant have a traditional relship now, im too busy working 100 hours a week on my phd program. i dont deny phd programs are TOO MUCH WORK than I could handle.

science isnt for people who look like you. get the ofok out of here joo liar. of course science is fun when you are in 3rd grade in 2017 and you CANT POSSIBLY FAIL and its a huge hugbox lovefest and all your marxist teachers who know nothign about science teach you how KOOL science is. and you arent under PRESSURE to solve confusing af problems or people will bitch at you about how stupid you are, at best, or, at worst, you will get fired for being an idiot, and then have to try to sell shit for a living like the rest of normie idiots, when you thought science was your golden ticket because you are an autist who cant get along with normies.

its not all fun and games and bacteria is kewl tee hee. its publish or perish on obscure shit where only 10 people in the world know or care what youre doing, and its sure not part of anything bigger and better, like curing cancer, which the joos do not ever WANT scientists to cure. because you find a cure, you K THE GOLDEN GOOSE.

but yeah i just dont like getting dreams about that woman, period. because its a way of SEEING her again. and in this dream, i was acting like a shameful coward, and she was acting like a mean bitch. at the very least, i wish i were acting like a strong man. i HATE being WEAK.

i also HATE thinking That Woman was just a damn slut like those guys at DS were talking about. who play innocent and then you bang them with just the tip bullshit.

its kind of jooish, but its also kinda brilliant. i can’t say its wholly jooish, any more than women are inherently kinda jooish, and it plays to that.

and it SUCKS that hwyte women are INHERENTLY JOOISH!!!!!!

thats why its MENS job to step in and physically STOP them from BEING jooish!

perhaps blackish would be better term. because theyre not as smart and clever and high iq as joos. joos or blacks, whatever it is, it SUCKS, and i wish Our Women werent like that, but they ARE, they always HAVE been, even before the world was jooed, so just ACCEPT it, or be FOREVER BUTTHURT.

what CAN make a woman become more mature is having children and being a good mother to them. BUT, in order to do that, she USUALLY needs a good husband. otherwise she just is a shitty single mother.

basically, a woman NEEDS a man to reach her full potential. a man does not really NEED a woman to reach HIS full potential. other than perhaps having a good mother will help him, and having a good wife will help him. but these things are not nearly as MANDATORY as having a good father and a good husband are for women.

That’s just the way women have EVOLVED.

Accept SCIENCE! or be FOREVERBUTTHURT.

ok 9mm rounds are probably the most common type of ammo. they basically sell for about 20 to 25 cents per round.

basically i was thinking about investing in ammo as a currency for when the shit hits the fan and ammo will be essentially very very valuable, like gold, but moreso. food, ammo, guns, alcohol will all be very valuable. well….you can make your own alcohol easily, cant you? very hard to make your own ammo easily. so this is why people are stocking up now. and i should too hahaha. just buy a few boxes of 9mm rounds.

yeah then what. when TSHTF and just have a few boxes of ammo. then some negros with guns will rob me of the ammo hahaha. kinda stupid to have ammo but no guns. i mean i SHOULD get a gun. just a 9mm pistol handgun would be fine to start with. they dont have this RIGHT in YUROP, which is truly a huge shame.

ill tell you whats triggering. 30 year old hwyte men making 60 grand a year who truly think gunz are evil and should be BANNED, and are disgusted by hwyte men with guns.

some men spend their whole lives associating with onyl terrible women and never meet a decent woman, so they think all women are like that hahaha.

hey ive met at least 3 decent women in my life!

but anyway if you get the gurl sucking your d on the first hour shes met you, well its physically IMPOSSIBLE to get put in the friendzone. therefore, aim for SOME kind of physical action, even if its just you groping their body, or making out, or encouraging them to just touch the tip. then you’ll NEVER get in the friendzone hahaha.

ive also been friends with women where they were decent people/friends, but they wouldnt really be decent gfs for me, because i knew too much abotu their  sordid past. it didnt make them bad people, but it ruled them out of GF Zone for me hahahaha. sorry sweetie, youve just been with TOO MANY GUYS.

now, i never had a hardcore conversation with them about how their number was too high for me to consider Dating them. that would just be cruel at that point. like them bluntly telling ME that they would never consider dating me because I was just too unmanly and weak! which was true!

SOOOOO……if joe stalin hated joos, how come we dont like him? because his USSR was thoroughly jooed and k’d tons of innocent hwytes. he might have hated Joos, but he was thoroughly controlled by joos.  i think that is the idea.

some say the ukraine nationalists are totally joo controlled, and basically in 2017, russia is much less jood than ukraine.

i dunno, just dont know!

basically, we want nice, decent, innocent white women who dont act like goddamn N3gr0s!!!!!!!!!!!

Our Beautiful Hwyte women have been turned into N3gr0 whores! by You KNow Who!!!!!!!

funny. women are physically beautiful, but they dont know how to appreciate that beauty. they are disgustingly good at shitting on that beauty. like joos boiling jesus christ in a cauldron of shit in hell in their talmud. women make a travesty out of their own beauty. and only a MAN can really appreciate the BEAUTY of anything – women, a beautiful sunset, a beautiful piece of music, etc.

i also figured women are very good chameleons. very good at pretending to be men, pretending to be jooz, pretending to be blacks. and when we make it COOL again, they will start “pretending” at that which they are naturally best suited for: being wives and mothers. but now they are having a hard time pretending that role.

its not just the jooz fault women are so fooking horrible. its MENS fault TOO. but lets just say 60% joos fault hahaha. but yeah, we, us, men, are at fault too. by being weak. but a lot of our own weakness comes from the joo too!

https://archive.org/stream/MienKampfAdolfHitlerTheStalagEdition/Mien%20Kampf%20-%20Adolf%20Hitler%20-%20The%20Stalag%20Edition

read the book every day hahahaha.

i just hate that i found such beauty in that woman, and who she was, yet she just gives herself away like cheap filth to filthy negros. was I THAT WRONG about her beauty? no, she was beautiful at that time. but she prob doesnt mind just totally profaning and blaspheming and destroying her own beauty, letting herself go from a beautiful woman to a pile of negro shit. shit yeah its HEARTBREAKING!

i mean im only thinking about it because i had that dream last night.

did a 2 mile powerwalk on BEAUTIFUL sunday day (which only MEN can appreciate the beauty, hahaha) and listened to taake nattestid and saor guardians. not bad!

oh yeah. when you live in a 90% white neighborhood (thank GOD) and you see a beater rusty car driving around the neighborhood with three 20 year old black men in it……well lets just say i frowned on that and i hope other people saw it and were willing to call the po po. shit yeah there should be profiling here, because these young thugs looked suspicious af, they obviously dont live here. my thought is they are cruising around the neighborhood looking for houses to break into, OR, probably more likely, they were going to play basketball at the public city park. this is super annoying and it brings in too many blacks in the spring and summer. really wish the city would just take the negroball hoops down. they can leave the tennis courts because hwytes occasionally use those. but it is very irritating to see 10 young blacks who clearly dont live in the neighborhood, using your neighborhood park.

to their credit, there hasnt been any notable crimes out of the blacks in memory. that is kind of miraculous. absolutely miraculous. well maybe blacks arent that bad after all, even real thuggish looking young ones who play basketball and have filthy mouths. theyre not even shooting or stabbing each other when 10 of them get together, or terrorizing the hwyte people at the park, or breaking into cars and houses.

see thats the thing. when a woman is a slut wh0re, it also says, i would be a POOR CHOICE as a wife and mother. i would be a shitty wife AND a shitty mother.

reeeeeeeee just because a woman Owns Her Own Sexuality like a Mature Adult doesnt mean she would be a Bad Mother reeeeeeeeeeee!!!! screech the feminists. the jooish feminists.

so then you have to mansplain why a person who takes the life creation process so LIGHTLY might also take innocent human lives a little too lightly.

cuz i was thinking, you know, beggars cant be choosers, i dont DESERVE a nonslut, i guess i would take a slut IF she were attractive AND loyal to me AND would be a good wife AND would be a good mother, then FINE I guess I could tolerate her having a Slut Phase where she took 20 dicks.

but then i realized how stupid that sounded. a woman with a slut phase who took 25 dicks probably WOULDNT be a great wife and WOULDNT be a great mother.

thats why we dont like it!

because it means they might be willing to stray from us for some strange coch, or that the baby we are raising is NOT OURS!!!! maybe she snuck off and fooked some other guy, just like she snuck off and fooked other guys in the past!!!!!!!

of COURSE women dont understand this, buecase women have NEVER understood the OBVIOUS. even DECENT women dont understand the obvious. women have not EVOLVED through SCIENCE! to understand the obviously. ACCEPT THE SCIENCE! OR BE FOREVERBUTTHURT!!!!!!

april 24

well i pulled the trigger. bought the manheim translation of MEIN K4MPF for 11.60 incl shipping. basically the best deal i can get on this book. would prefer stalag edition but its like 6 dollars more. and i hear the manheim translation is good enough.

the problem with this all women are whores mindset is, who the hell are you going to have babies with? you want a WH)RE for the mother of your children? i guess I am coming over to the idea of hwyte sharia, even tho I don’t luv the word, as basically a way of saying EXTREME PROBLEMS CALL FOR EXTREME SOLUTIONS. The Women Problem is WAY over the line, things are WAYYYYYY out of control there, so we NEED something extreme to fix it. you dont have to call it “sharia”, but it DOES have to be extreme, because wouldnt you agree that our women are EXTREMELY out of control. do you deny that? I didnt think so!

basically, we HAVE to have children with whores and then train the NEXT generation of girls to never become whores like their whore mothers, hahaha. it can be done! i’m optimistic! white pill!

the bad news is, you have a whore for a wife and your poor children have a whore for a mother. how to deal?

you train your whore wife to PRETEND to be a decent woman and to pretty much “fake it till you make it” as a decent woman trying to be a decent mother. but you basically would have to monitor youre wifes mothering skills much more than with an actual decent woman. more work for you, in other words. oh well. A MAN’S WORK IS NEVER DONE.

it just rustles me that you can never expect LOYALTY out of a woman because theyre simple not CAPABLE of it. its like THE RACISM OF LOW EXPECTATIONS that Well-Intentioned whites use on poor blacks. basically let them get away with shitty behavior, never hold them accountable.

well yes you would hold them accountable, by spanking them whenever they started to show disloyalty. spank them until they stop showing disloyalty. SPANKING IS NOT VIOLENCE!!!!!!!!! IM NOT ADVOCATING VIOLENCE!!!!!!!!

its basically very similar to the pro and anti spanking camps re disciplining kids. Same thing with WOMAN. Grown Women are the same as immature children who require DISCIPLINE. DISCIPLINE IS NOT VIOLENCE!!

maybe if they had been RAISED RIGHT, modern women wouldnt NEED so much discipline!

discipline via spanking would be a key part of My Hwyte “Sharia.” god damn u anglin hahahaha. such a stupid WORD. but hes absolutely right about the idea.

i wonder if they will send me the MK with the hugeass portrait of AH on the cover, hahahahahahaha. I HOPE SO!

EXTREME PROBLEMS CALL FOR EXTREME SOLUTIONS.

I will not use the word “desperate” to describe our extreme, but strong, proud, and not-desperate solutions.

with The Women Problem, we are essentially doing what they did when they sent juvenile delinquents to Military School.

Scared Straight Boot Camp.

We treat them like children because they ACT like children. That’s not a LOW expectation, thats a REAL RED PILL REALITY expectation. Women were designed by SCIENCE! to act like children.

Because…………uhhhhhhhhh this means they get pregnant as soon as possible and as often as possible. it’s ALMOST an r-selected strategy. it’s a lot less K-selected than white knights would hope.

BUT…..humans are a lot more likely to DIE in childbirth than a blatantly r-selected species like rats. a rat can have 100 babies and prob not die. if a human woman had 50 babies she would almost certainly die. even 20. human birth is a painful, complicated process where a lot can go wrong. not too long ago, many women did die during birth.

soooooo thats not helping my argument that its ok for women to be huge r selected sluts fooking everything that moves.

https://bbs.dailystormer.com/t/the-mike-enoch-question-a-public-discussion/101414

anglin doing a somewhat official thing on the enoch question. i wish TRS had done an official thread on the enoch question! after time has passed, I am pretty ok with enoch, but i think TRS handled it very badly at the time. i wish enoch had been more forthcoming, like anglin has been about things in his life that could be used against hsi character, and address them BEFORE they became an issue. Anglin sums it up very nicely in his OP here. this is only on the BBS, not the main site.

QUOTE

TRS was advised with how to deal with the situation. I spoke personally with Sven within 24 hours of the doxing, and told him that Mike needed to come out and be 100% straighforward with people, to show a bit of vulnerability, to apologize for lying by omission, and say that he’s a human being and life is complicated and weird things happen and most times the right thing is not the easiest thing.

Instead of being straightforward, the TRS team engaged in a lot of weird cagey bullshit. They were first totally silent, then they told stupid lies like “oh well she’s only part J00ish and has no J00ish culture” even though she was a completely degenerate tranny promoting k—  – something straight out of a @MANNvsMACHINE cartoon.

Sven then did a show without Mike, and seemed to announce that Mike would be leaving the show.

Then Mike and Sven did a show with Rufus from Rebel Yell, where nothing at all was talked about. It was rambling, boring bullshit, where none of the concerns people have were addressed. Mike was attempting to be so cryptic that he made weird statements making it sound like he himself is a J00. This was really a kick in the face to loyal TRS fans, and resulted in a whole lot of anger.

On the TRS forum, massive numbers of long-time posters were banned for simply being angry and demanding the issue be addressed clearly.

When a regular TDS episode finally aired, there was again no direct statements about any of it, and another awkward statement where Mike seemed to be implying that he is J00ish (especially when it is taken out of context in a clip).

A lot, a lot of long-time TRS supporters felt abused, and I think it is fair to say they were abused. Technically, a guy who does a podcast and posts it on the internet doesn’t owe anything to the people who download and listen to that podcast. But in real human terms, a person who spends countless hours listening to a person talk believes that person is their friend. This is because our brains did not evolve to be capable of drawing a distinction between a disembodied radio voice of a stranger and someone sitting in our room (or at the gym, or in the car, or wherever we were listening) talking to us and an actual real life friend. People felt like they were betrayed by a personal friend, and you can see this in the many, many angry responses. In this sense, on a human level, Mike did owe his listeners something more than what he gave them.

END QUOTE

ok cant read more than 150 posts hahahaha. why havent i listened to anglins 90 min speech in london in like 2012:

he needs to get the sleeves of his jacket tailored but he should be giving speeches like this every day hahahaha. i think he could become really really good at it. it really is a skill you can get better at with practice.

HORREE SHEET, GR8 SPEECH ANDRE. even better than expected. he should totally do this every week. every day. hes a great writer and he writes a great speech too. sometimes he gets off on a tangent, but it doesnt really matter. its all good. when he speaks you can tell he is even smarter than you thought he was!

ideally I would like him giving AH-style fiery speeches of the already fiery stuff he writes about. he doesnt even talk about gassing the K’s in this speech, its quite restrained.

Yeah I know he goes on other peoples podcasts and shows pretty often. great. but I would love if he did his own podcast where he did most of the talking. or better, did events like spencer.

hahahahaha now i cant wait for my copy of MEIN KAMPF to arrive.

im surprised i never bought it before, just to seem EDGY. I totally did that sort of thing when I was young, bought stuff just because it was EDGY like marilyn manson or some shit. you young direct-to-altright 20 year olds have no idea what its like. to lose your youth wandering, lost in jooish edginess. not that MK is “jooish” edgyness. but it was def edgy. but in NO WAY was I ready to take AH and NS SERIOUSLY. It was more like yeaaahhhh worlds most evil man, genociding jooish children, badass evil black metal death metal mother fookerrrrrr rawwwwrrrrr metalllllllllll deathhhhhhh and destructionnnnnnnnn. get foookkedddd upppppp and genocide millions of pathetic, helpless victims, left to DIE! RANCID angel of DEATH, flying FREE!!!!! angel of death middle riff.wav

(not saying thats not a classic song!)

no idea that perhaps AH was in fact the greatest man since JESUS CHRIST, that maybe they didnt carry out the you-know-what as described, and that AH had the best plan for a happy, healthy hwyte society!!!!!!!!!

i accepted the jooish story that AH was an evil man…..but I also accepted a pretty jooish kind of nihilism and MORAL INVERSION that said that anything EVIL was KOOL and AWESOME!!!!!!

And 20 years later I ended up at, AH is Awesome again hahahahahaha. for all the RIGHT reasons this time.

heres a great business idea: find a way to transfer small amounts of bitcoin for no fee so that people could charge tiny fees and people could make tiny payments.

for example, pay me 25 cents in bitcoin to download this podcast. and then be able to easily send them 25 cents in bitcoin, with no fee.

as it is now, you cant even send 1 dollar BTC without paying god damn 60 cents fee.

meaning its really only worthwhile to send bitcoin at 5 dollars or above.

but its a lot easier to charge 25 cents for a podcast, than 5 dollars.

see what I’m getting at?

as the amount you send goes up, the amount (percentage) of fee goes DOWN. seemingly. I mean, at 1 dollar its 60 fooking percent, at 5 dollars its still like 10 percent, which is still way too damn high. the fees are too damn high with bitcoin.

anglin. at first I thought he was “low brow”. He might self-deprecatingly joke about himself being low brow. But I think he is actually smart af, possibly fooking genius autist levels. he could be a pure intellectual but he chooses not to, because he knows its not pure intellectuals that change the world, but MEN OF ACTION.

 

WHAT GOOD DOES IT DO ME?

dec 3

https://www.youtube dot com/watch?v=C2hOJR0hIBY

this “woman” looks like a man, and should not be wearing something so unflattering, and looks part nonwhite, BUT she is appearing on redice, who are Legit Vetted Good Goys and worthy of support, talking about the evils and degeneracy of Jooish Pornography, so thats pretty cool. i just saw this, have not listened yet.

but with a great name like “PORNOGRAPHY: WEAPONIZED DEGENERACY” I got a DOUBLE BONER and downloaded it IMMEDIATELY for listening very soon on a powerwalk! they just should not have put “her” wearing that in the thumbnail. jeez she is so ugly in that picture it undermines all of our credibility hahahahaha. still anything about PORNOGRAPHY: WEAPONIZED DEGENERACY HAS to be a good talk, good lesson, good message.

 

really you should listen to the three hour mix three times a day hahahahahahaha

when we were young, once in a great while we would find a song that was so mind blowingly awesome that we made a “mix cd” of that one song on repeat for 74 minutes.  this one would definitely qualify! although I was not aware of it at that time unfort. Oh I knew about the movie but had no interest in it and had no knowledge of the music.

here is one of those songs hehehe. for some reason we gravitated to ridiculous 80s style “cock rock.”

i am shilling for red ice today. now i dont like how this guest woman dresses like a HOOKER with the eye makeup and earrings and showing the tits, but uh i will try to listen to this one as well. but yeah even though henrik and lana are All Right, sometimes they do have weirdass guests who are jooish or antiwhite hahahaha so just because somebody is ON red ice doesnt mean they are automatically good.

but yeah what red ice is doing, creating their own alt right, pro white media platform/network, is exactly what whites need to do. create a white, joo-free media. our own news, our own tv and radio, and of course podcasts are a great part of this, and its already happening, THANK GOD.

yeah i know red ice did weird alex jones conspiracy shit years ago, but i forgive them hahahaha.

henrik and lana just need to have 3+ children and hire some white men to do red ice.

i would become a sustaining member of red ice but their prices are too damn high hahahahaha.

65 euros a YEAR?  that is like 66 dollars a year. i would maybe do 20.

i mean they DESERVE it, i just cant/dont want to dnate that much!

i mean its more for ME than THEM, so i can FEEL GOOD about myself, and really i need all of THAT i can get!

there is this catholic church sorta near me that is geared towards polish people, and i hear that polish catholics are some of the most hardcore Based Catholics hahahaha. they are proud of their polish blood and dont have open arms for a bunch of screaming asians and mestizos and browns and arabs which you see in many cath churches. plus i have some polish blood and love poles. love them. would love a nice polish gurl for a qt 3.1488 waifu. poland is definitely a top tier european country.

problem is this place doesnt just have one polish mass a week, they have nothing BUT polish mass and EVERYTHING is in polish, church website, church bulletin/newsletter.

actually this is not a problem at all, this is a fookin BENEFIT. cuz it means they are traditional and old school as fook.

so i could just go there and be like

¯\_ツ_/¯   ¯\_ツ_/¯     ¯\_ツ_/¯     ¯\_ツ_/¯     ¯\_ツ_/¯       ¯\_ツ_/¯      ¯\_ツ_/¯

and say dzien dobry, jak sie maz (????), sto lat, dzienkuje, boze dobry, boze dobrze rzarzarzarza, ja nie movi polakiu, and then they would say oh look hes trying, how nice, then they could hook me up with their 19 year old virgin daughter who could teach me polakiu hahahaha and i could put babies in her for 14k a year hahahahaha.

sheeeeeeit those women are TOO GOOD for me!

乁(⏓ ͜つ⏓)ㄏ

2016-12-03-20_36_03-cardamom-0-02_0-04-no-limit-holdem-replay-13464295

this fookin guy makes a huge raise when he flops a pair of 8s. glad i agressively went all in instead of thinking he had AA and folding! or 88 or 66 or 22 hehehe.

no thats not 7 dollars and 45 cents, thats .00745 btc, which is…. 5 dollars and 71 cents. YIKES. well the price of BTC has gone up pretty steadily since i started playing this shit like 2 years ago.

so yeah if i had any BALLS like a REAL MAN i would have gone to this polish church 11 fookin years ago!!!!!!!

fooking reddit relships and their different secs BEST FRIENDS. you shouldnt have a BEST FRIEND who is the opposite sex!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

and IM the weirdo and sexist and hateful racist violent trump supporter for thinking this!!!!!!!

or IM weird because i think open relationships are shitty and bad. im being too judgmental and intolerant of peoples valid choice.

well to be fair, reddit says that MOST people

dec 4

 

i am gradually warming up to emily youcis. normally i am very very very very suspicious of women in the movement, but she doesnt seem TOO bad. plus i immediately get more sympathy for the women once they LOSE something like their job or their freedumz. and so she was recently fired by k1ke company aramark (i applied for office clerk job there, no response hahaha) after working for 7 years selling pistachios at the baseball stadium. fired for “social media” reasons.

yeah i mean maybe this was part of her plan and she’s prob not gonna go homeless or sucking dick for a place to stay (not that most women dont already do that anyway hahahahahahahahahaha)

anyway. so i am always judging women for being hookers and sluts and wh0res and promiscuous and degenerate, but in the end, do those things really impact me directly? why do i hate sluts so much? that woman wasn’t a slut! she hurt me through ways that did not involve sluttiness AT ALL!

yeah well in the PAST ive def been hurt by women who were into the slutty casual sex mindframe. also i just find it very distasteful and immoral and degen and a sign of the cultural and spiritual degen which we must fix in our people. and yes it represents something i WANT but cant seem to get, which is given away so freely to Everyone Else but I am fundamentally broken and unable to obtain.

and also i am judgmental against the things that that woman DID do, like avoiding shit like a coward, i dont like that either hahaha.

ok well here’s a good point: at least i never really became a beta orbiter friendzone!!! or if i did, it ended pretty damn quickly!

it kind of proves that i basically will not LET MYSELF become a pathetic supplicating beta orbiter. i eventually have to rip the bandaid off and be like, here’s the obvious truth which i can’t believe you’re not seeing. I CANT GO ON THIS WAY hahahaha.

going to church on sunday today instead of saturday. going to church that is probably better than the one i usu go to. less cucky and marxist and antitrvmp and leftwing. less cucking for DIVERSITY and UNITY and VIBRANCY and all that shit. shit no wonder that church is full of weird asians and this other church seems to have more whites. shit why dont i just go to this other church regularly. or go to that damn polish church. IT DOESNT MATTER that i dont speak polish. i could learn and besides them speaking polish is a YUGGGGGGGGGGGE value add!!!!!!! its a GREAT thing!

yep starting new 13k job tomorrow. kind of a big deal. nervous. dont want to screw it up. dont want to look like a WEIRD IDIOT. just want to do a good job. not just a good job, but a GREAT job and really impress everyone.

sheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeit i should have been getting BOOKS related to my NEW FIELD the instant i knew i was hired, and devouring those books to get a good frame of reference, big picture view, maybe some small picture view too, reading the books The Director reads for his PhD, which is of course related to his masters degree and what he does now, The Department, what books are most relevant to this job and this department, thought leaders, bla bla. i quickly bought a book right now so that i could say i at least placed my order for the book before i started the job hahahaha but why i didnt do this 2 weeks ago so i could have had the books and started reading them by now…….hmm maybe i am not serious about making 13k a year with no benefits, maybe WALMART would be a better fit with my career skills.

dumped because he couldnt read the gurls stupid mind. i GUESS shes ENTITLED to dump him for whatever stupid reason she wants, but when the reason is THAT stupid, just candy coat it and dont GIVE an exact reason. i mean thats just a BAD REASON. just say I’m not compatible with you. it’s not you its me. that would be better than saying some stupid ass shit like that.

hehe i made the mistake of initially assuming the “best friend” OP of the gurl was another gurl. hehehe. sounds like he is deeply in luv with her and is in complete denial. but not looking at that, she still should not be Ghosting her friends.

i mean this guy is cringey and beta orbiter AF, and theres a very important lesson to learn there, but she still shouldnt be Ghosting him like a coward, throwing away 3 years of friendship, and getting her new bf to laugh at him and call him pathetic (which he is.)

dont be like this pvssy phaggot. but at least he is getting a CS degree so he might be making 30k a year by age 22. that is a pretty good move.  i mean its still risky because i worked with CS grads doing the exact same phone bullshit as me.

bonus points for OP having mad anxiety and panic attacks that feel like heart attacks and he is so confused hhahaha.

better when you are 21 than 31!

then reddit shreds this kid for being a sexist, creepy niceguy, which he kind of IS, but this ISNT the way to deal with that. you have to show some sympathy for these poor sad bastards. theyre not the bad horrible people you think they are !!!!!!!!

he doesnt need to “RESPECT” her wishes because they’re not respectable. just use the word ACCEPT. ACCEPT her stupid, unrespectable wishes, and let her get fooked by chad. the end.

grieve and have legitimate suffering because your friend of 3 years didnt give a DAMN about you as a human being. i feel your pain man. that sucks. this is the sympathy he’s not getting ANY of and he should.

anyway. i wish you COULD be Just Friends with a woman before Dating and Fooking and Relshiping them, because unless I am Friends with a Woman, i really just dont LIKE them. the way they approach Relships is degenerate and infuriating. I just dont like it. rustles the shit out of me.

I wish you COULD get to know a woman as a friend, be like this is a really good person and i like them, maybe I can try a deeper rel with them, i think they would make a decent GF or wife. i wonder if she will be willing to try that.

NOPE. NEVER WILL. thats what the friendzone is hahahaha. if you dont fook her like a n1993r within 2 days of meeting her, you dont have a chance with making her your GF or wife.

i just hate how the J’s are dumbing us down and jooing us down and morally corrupting us all down into n1993rs.

If you don’t like the word n1993rs, just call em animals. they are turning us all into filthy, dumb, dirty, disgusting ANIMALS.

I AM NOT AN ANIMAL!!!! I AM A HUMAN BEING!!!!!

anyway yeah this reddit niceguy hate is just way out of line. niceguys arent THAT bad. have some damn SYMPATHY for them. save some of that judgment for the women, who in many cases are being huge bitches to the niceguys.

but yeah this guy needs to stay away from this gurl, and there needs to be more blame directed at HER.

when you are begging and bribing somebody to hang out with you. it IS pathetic tho! but its SAD. he doesnt even REALIZE hes in LUV with her. at least I REALIZED that. and i STOPPED contacting her eventually. let her run off and fook animals.

and yeah it would help that guy to go to a shrink, but good lord dont tell him you are SUPER FOOKED UP and must see a shrink NOW if you have any chance of not being a horrible person. they hate these nice guys almost as much as they hate TRVMP or WHITE PEOPLE.

i was thinking in an ideal world, i would just get a dr to prescribe me Medical MJ for Despair and Anxiety, just like getting an RX for Citalopram and Valium. Which I have already gotten RX’s for.

so in an ideal world, despair and anxiety would be legal medical Qualified Conditions for MMJ.  but they arent.

anyway i was thinking, go to semi shady MMJ doctor and be like listen, so i dont have cancer or back pain like most of the people, but i dont want to bullshit you and say i have CARPAL TUNNEL pain when i really dont, but here’s something I REALLY DO HAVE, and have taken RX’s for YEARS to PROVE it, i know they arent TECHNICALLY conditions, but…..hey i’ll buy ya dinner right now, you’re pretty hungry from writing recommendations all day arent ya goy? bubby?

the thing is, i could say that my TREATMENT for OTHER CONDITIONS causes SPASMS, and then i could get MMJ for that. yeah but it doesnt. but i think citalopram causes spasms for some people hahahahaha.

basically the TREATMENT for something Unqualifying, gives me a Backdoor into Qualifying.

but not really, because this treatment doesnt cause spasms or severe pain!

https://www.reddit.com/r/altright/comments/5e7rbu/emily_youcis_animator_of_alfred_alfer_ama/

meh i guess i will approve of emily, she seems to be sincere. hope her animation bcomes less degenerate and she seems to be aware that by joining the alt right and becoming pro white, you kinda HAVE to hold yourself to a higher moral standard and actively purge the degeneracy from your own life.

but she’s only been into this for less than 6 months! i have been into this for like 6 years!!!!!!!

heh i dont really care as long as she is sincere and doesnt stop being pro white. she talks about losing friends and such and purging people. this is good.  purge the dead weight and bad influences from your life. Traditional Morality will alienate you from degenerate animalistic losers. you dont want them to be your friends anyway.

fine i will HUHWHYTE KNIGHT for emily even though shes probably taken MILES AND MILES of dick, prob even nonwhite (no real proof.) but i am willing to forgive, if there is TRUE repentance.

well i dont really like these super big bewbs gurls plus she will probably start to get very potato looking when she gets older. but at age 26 right now she is pretty qt, would hang out with hahahahahahahaha.

i mean better late than never amirite. im no saint myself. you know what they say, all saints have a past and all sinners have a future!

i went to this other church this morning and it was 100000000000000 times better than the one i usually go to. not only was it less boring and faster, there were a lot more whites, some qt young white women as well! i mean i already KNEW this for at LEAST a YEAR!!!!!

like the priest at my regular church, nice guy, good guy, but a pathetic cuck shitlib who is soooo shocked at the hate and racism and intolerance of the whitelash, and desperately wants to overcompensate and Reach Out to Mudslims to show them Not All White Christians are hateful rednecks.

whereas at the other church, no mention of this stuff, just a bunch of happy white people, including many under-40’s.

all the whites at my usual church are well over 40 hehehehe. plenty of nonwhites.

shit. starting NEW JOB tomorrow. have been doing laundry. planning on bringing 1 dozen donuts tom morning. ask people about their families. ask about what are good books for me to read about this field. i am already reading bla bla by bla bla. here’s some donuts. do you guys drink coffee? i can bring in some folgers, i have some extra folgers at home. sorry its not top shelf, but i can bring in a little top shelf closer to xmas. heres some donuts in the meantime. how many kids u got. where are they going to college? tell me about your graduate program. what do you think about the 14 words hahahaha. so how about that election hahahahaha.

can i take a tough phone call right now? what are the toughest problems you get in here from your “customers”? whats the best way to bullshit them and give them the runaround and say it cant be fixed, it is what it is, you dont have to like it hahahahaha jk i know we go above and beyond for our clients wink wink nudge nudge amirite?

besides, everybody knows that when “it is what it is” just wont cut it, you have to bring out it is what it IS what it is what it is. then that fixes everything. that explains everything. that gets angry people to say OH NOW I GET IT, im so sorry for being such a huge bitch. now that i realise that it is what it IS what it is!!!!! see before, i was thinking it IS what it is.

mother fooking phaggot cvntz hahahaha.

i was thinking i dont DESERVE a woman Without A Past, because IIIIII have a past myself!!!!!!!!!!!

ok fine, but i DO insist the woman is TRULY REPENTANT of her degenerate past! says I am ashamed of my past, i never want to have another abortion, or fook another nonwhite, or have any more casual sex!!!!!! its disgusting and here’s why! I REGRET doing all that.

rather than someone that says oh that makes me who i am, i’m not ashamed, i have no regrets.

GOOD PEOPLE HAVE REGRETS.

shit I have tons of regrets, tons of shame, tons of remorse and repentance for all the degenerate animal shit IVE done. so I DO want THAT much from muh formerly degenerate waifu hahahaha.

if you dont have regrets, I DONT WANT TO KNOW YOU hehehehe.

the bad shit youve done SHOULD be regretted.

muh dbt book says to try not to be judgmental. notice all the times you make a judgment throughout the day, bad OR good, and just let them float away like leaves on a stream.  just observe stuff mindfully and without judgment.

this struck me as kinda weird. i can see trying to stop your bad judgments, but the good ones too?

i mean i make 148800000000000000000000000000000000000000000 negative judgments a day. every damn person i see i judge them. i was sitting in church watching the nice white people coming back from communion and i was judging each and every one of them harshy: fatty. f4ggot. dirty dago. ugly. fat slob. pig. dog. disgusting animal. sissy. nice haircut phaggot. nice manbun phaggot. nice potato shaped body. your kids are brats. your wife is a slut. you have dyed hair, you must be a slut. how many cox you take. how many black guys. how many abortions. wow, fat AND a smoker, youre in great health, you no self discipline weakling.

i mean its truly ridiculous how many negative judgments i make about people, many many many times a day. so YEAH i AGREE, trying to be conscious of that and not doing that would be a GREAT step for me.

really i am nowhere NEAR as HATEFUL and judgmental when i am with actual real people. i always think the best of them.

but from a distance, when i am alone just thinking of people in the abstract, or people watching people from a distance, god damn, its a hugeass hatefest!!!!!!

no not violent hate, but still very bitter butthurt negative pessimistic cynical recrimination!

and WHAT DOES IT GET ME?

HOW DO I BENEFIT?

WHAT GOOD DOES IT DO ME?????

NOTHING!

at a more moderate level, it would have been a natural response to people who have hurt me in the past with slutty or immature or fat or ugly or irresponsible behavior.

but the healthy way for me to do that is to say, ok, here are some red flags to watch out for, but im not gonna look for those red flags in EVERYBODY, and im sure not gonna get MAD about it if they havent done anything to ME.

but yeah. its like my automatic reaction to seeing a person, is to have a NEGATIVE JUDGMENT about them. this is not good!

fat, ugly, slut, phaggot, degenerate. usually one of those. douchebag, asshole, bitch, weirdo, autist, spazz, moron.

i cant stop judging people hahahahaha.

STILL, i INSIST that its worse for women to go out there and let themselves be used as pieces of sex meat, that it is for pathetic omega virgins to jerk off to jooish porn. because in one you have essentially two people hurting each other, in the other, you have one loser hurting himself.

but dont get me wrong, porn is horrible and i am ASHAMED and REGRETFUL that i ever looked at it. well, that i looked at it so MUCH.

and tbh, i was only a little above average i think for American Men Of My Generation. Many men are much, much worse. i was nowhere NEAR a Porn Addict.

hmm sorta watching this movie the lost weekend, i mean i had watched this intently a few years ago, and i think after i stopped drinking as well, and had gained some Understanding of the Baffling Cunning “Disease”, and i still found the movie disappointing and corny, and for some reason it seems better now.

i mean ive been on the straight and narrow path here for the last damn 7 years basically. no booze, a little bit of MJ though. not enough imho hahahahahahaha. gradually became more Alt Right, more JQ, less degen, more principled, just a better person hahaha. although unfort more of a virgin neet loser too hahahaha.

well its been up and down tho. ebb and flow.

was driving home and saw this fat guy and his fat wife in my neighborhood who are always sitting in their backyard smoking cigarettes and being fat, and i thought wow, fat and smoking, good choice buddy, and then i thought ok i shouldnt JUDGE him, he very well could be a very very very nice kind man, very courageous, very strong. nobody is perfect, me neither, and so he just happens to be a fat smoker. nobodys perfect and what if he’s very very nice.

how often do i need to bring in donuts? i dont want to more than once every 2 weeks.

you gotta ask the right questions. what if i ask the WRONG questions? what if i ask DUMB questions???!!?!

so show them i am smart by quoting Big Thought Leaders in this Education Related Field. I read some education books right? hehehe yes the only education books i read were “dumbing us down” by gatto and “the unschooling handbook” by some woman.

both very anti establishment sort of stuff. but which may be considered moer establishment in 2016.

i mean i really SHOULD be more interested in the Field of muh job. which all I will say it is SOMEWHAT education related.

so yeah i think education is bullshit ahhahahahahhahahahaha. all education should be handled by parents.

yeah well what about college level stuff. the job im doing COULD ACTUALLY BE LEGIT USEFUL to a HUHWHYTE NATION as regards “homeschooling” college/grad level material to Learners. It’s GOOD because it can put you into direct contact with Experts and Instructors while minimizing the JOOISH DEGEN (((((COLLEGE EXPERIENCE))))), i will just say that.

MINIMIZING IT!

so yeah this is actually a REALLY good position to be in and i shoul dbe  MOAR grateful!

maybe i should bring bagels instead of donuts? i mean i will actually eat bagels later if people dont eat them all. its easier to save and eat bagels later than donuts.

now you could still use this technology to deliver jooish marxist frankfurt skool degeneracy and mindkilling soulkilling poison into the brains of students, but again, its just a TOOL, that can be used for good OR for bad.

if it helps even one white neet get a good paying job one day, then its worth it.

so in a way, i am working in support of my Dream Career by Helping White Neets.  UP FROM NEETNESS.

well, if they are doing education, technically they are not a neet then hahahahahaha. well how about neets who are only involved in education, because its a LOT easier to go to college than to Get A Job. you just pay shitloads of money (take out loans) and go to some shitty school hahahaha.

honestly just go to your local community college. i PROMISE you its not THAT shitty. better than fookin DEVRY. talk about fookin SKYPES.

besides, to get a good job, you cant just have book knowledge and do good in online college courses. you have to be good with PEOPLE. CUSTOMERS. you have to have MAD CHARISMA and not be autistic!

so how do all these autists get jobs?

uhh the ones that dont get stem degrees from good colleges DONT! they become neets!

so would i feel more comfortable lying to the MMJ doctor about Carpal Tunnel or Back Pain, or Lying about getting Spasms from the meds i take for muh Severe Despair?

great now the poor beta orbiter kid who was in love with his female friend was bullycided into removing his post. because hes such a HORRIBLE PERSON. good lord they hate these pathetic niceguys more than they hate Raepists. seriously. right now he is probably blaming the shit out of himself for being such a horrible person. and he wont let himself grieve properly for a relationship that “didnt exist.” yeah well if he knew her for THREE YEARS it DID exist, no matter how close she felt to HIM, no matter what these degenerate bullies on /relships say.

THAT KID IS BACK ON THE ESCALATOR!

there is ANOTHER post about an opposite secs best friend at the top of the relships hotlist!

GUESS WHAT /R/RELSHIPS, WHEN YOUR “BEST FRIEND” IS THE OPPOSITE SECS, RIDICULOUS DRAMA ENSUES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i guess you can be “friends,” but to identify as “best friends”? HELL NO.

sheeeeeeeeeit tuff times buddy. im sure reddit will say he is a horrible person for thinking he is entitled to something.

yep sad shit man. well at least you can do your JOB and shit you got a NEW JOB within 8 months of getting heartbreakingly dumped! so id say youre doing pretty well. just work 80 hours a week at your new job and smoke MJ the rest of the time. use MJ to bribe tinder wh0res into nihilistic secs hahahaha.

did i get jealous because they were leaving me, or did they leave me because i was getting jealous?

i think i kept my jealousy under wraps PRETTY DAMN WELL until it became clear they were pulling away from me, talking to other guys, and then i’d say i had a PRETTY GOOD REASON to get jealous hehehehe.

so yeah i dont eer push women away because i am “THE JEALOUS TYPE.”

heres a good quote from this one:

”   [–]PaHoua 4 points 49 minutes ago
If you’re the one broken up with, it is very likely you’ll take much longer to move on than the dumper. That person has already been “mourning” the loss of the relationship for a long time and when they finally came to terms with it is when they decided to commit to the action of dumping you.
Think of it like the five steps of grief: 1. Denial; 2. Bargaining; 3. Anger; 4. Depression; 5. Acceptance.
When she reached Acceptance, you weren’t even aware of what was to come. Then she dumped you. You moved into Denial.
This happened to me. I moved back and forth between all of the stages until I got into Acceptance. He was dating within weeks and probably earlier, whereas I remained in between stages for a couple of years.
It takes as long as it takes. That’s all anyone can tell you.     ”

wow a woman saying something very reasonable hahahahaha

 

WE NEET VIRGINS CANT EVEN GET SLOPPY SEVENTHS

nov 23

had weird interesting dream. i was back in college setting, house where i lived, room where i lived, classic house, classic room, some good memories. IRL it was a huge room. in dream there were like 20 people in 20 beds in the room. i was in one. qt gurl was on top of my and had agreed to Teach Me The Ways About Secs because she was wayyyyyy more experienced than me, kind of secs positive SLUT. but she was really qt and nice to me and really not that patronizing. it was woman2007-8, this crazy blond mudshark slut that i was semi friends with for a while and boy did i have no game with her! but she was qt as hell and i sorta liked her and i would prob still give her a chance, if she werent a mudshark, and she got a nicer personality, and she gave ME a chance!

so she gets on top of me and i get very excited and she says, ok you just be patient and in a while i will come back and we will make out and have secs and it will be fun and i wont go too fast!

i was legit excited. except i would prefer that we could get started now and not have me wait 1, 2, 3, ? hours for her to come back.

also in these dreams i rarely ever ACTUALLY make out or have secs with the women. i am often close to them, touching them, cuddling, but never actually going that further step of making out or esp secs.

she leaves.  a few beds down this guy is having secs with his gf and she is making mad O face and he looks pretty chilled and stoned. its a guy i knew like 9 years ago and went to high school with but was never close friends with, but i respected him as a really really nice and good guy, and if i spent more time with him, he had good friend potential. and the dream gf for him was his real life wife. they had a baby i am pretty sure. i am glad for that, he would be a great father and should have at least 3 children. anyway no idea why they appeared in the dream.

most of the other people in the room were degen perverts doing weird ass fetish things. there were these perverted blacks trying to get people to use this weird Sex Machine where the guy got his Rectum Probed by this Anal Probe. I was like um no, not interested. and they were trying to sell me on it, like its super fun, everyone’s doing it, and they were!

i was like well this whole room is full of degen perverts, cant i have some goddam PRIVACY? so i went out of the room and explored the house.

all the other rooms were very similar. basically a huge house orgy, with people having secs everywhere. the idea was that all these gurls were hookers, prostitutes. this light-skinned black gurl started flirting with me and was implying, follow me and we will have secs. i felt kinda weird about race mixing like that, but i figured because it was casual hooker secs and she looked very good for a negress hahahaha. top 10%.

but then i felt like i would be “CHEATING” on the first woman. i didnt realize yet what exactly was going on in this house, and that all the women were hookers. i got nervous and tried to worm out of the situation. also i felt weird that she wanted to have secs with all these damn people in the room watching. i got out of there.

the rest of the dream, i went around looking for the first woman, in rooms full of hookers having secs. I bumped into her a couple times in passing. she was like, just wait for me in the first room, i’ll be back there as soon as I can.

at one point i saw her in another room sucking this sleazy looking guys D, and I felt weird. jealousy like she was so nice to me, and stupid like yeah shes a HOOKER, this is WHAT SHE DOES, sucking and fookin lots of guys. I might like eating sausage but I just saw the sausage getting made. The Ugly Truth.

then i tried finding OTHER hookers I thought were qt so i could maybe have secs with them while waiting. 90% of the hookers were Occupied. I found 2 or 3 hookers and approached them but got either rejected or the runaround every time, which was frustrating.

i went back to the original room which like every room in the house, was like a damn sodom and gomorrah.  i was like this is really sleazy, but i like this gurl, even though she IS a sleazy hooker. cant we just get this over with already. ill have secs with her in front of all these people because her body pressed on mine will be worth it.  and i truly believed that. i could make that leap. yeah she was a degen but i liked her, she gave great service hahaha. give her hooker of the month award.

i walked around nervously. went outside front door where MUH FAMILY was waiting. SURPRISE VISIT hahahaha. i was like oh god theyve caught me red handed in this sodom and gomorrah, they will be so disappointed to think i LIVE here!

and i was like yeah it is more degen than i’d like…..but i really really really want to bang this gurl. also i think i like her, maybe she can be my gf and ultimately wife. she seems like a nice gurl.

i just want some nondegen secs with a GF, and this is the degen place i have to go to get it.

so yeah lots of pretty obviously meanings here.

my mistake was feeling so positively about the woman, rather than thinking she Special and Different from all the degen hookers in the place. because she was sucking and fooking like the rest of them, and would make a horrible gf and wife. so she just happened to be NICE to me. GREAT. just showed how unused i was to qt wimmin being NICE to me.

heh in RL she was never THAT nice to me. because she had an awful personality, was a huge bitch all the time. i honestly dont know how i became friendly with her for like 2 months haha.well cuz she showed SOME niceness and SOME interest in me. that quickly faded out tho. when she saw how boring and beta i was hahaha. and wasnt a hip musician or black thug with herpes. i did have a drinking problem tho! hahaha.

she was legit very qt but was prob bipolar, maybe borderline, huge slut, huge daddy issues, because father was a legit deadbeat. sad. dont do that to white children. then they grow up into ruined mudshark crazy sluts.

TRY TO MAKE YOUR FATHER PROUD OF YOU. BUT NONE OF THESE WOMEN HAVE FATHERS.

and its sad when theres a white man who doesnt care enough about his white daughter to be PROUD of her or not.

no WONDER the woman does things no father would be PROUD of.

anyway. the dream points out how i think that normie women or sluts are LITERALLY whores. like prostitutes, efficiently fooking and sucking one guy after another. but they can still be nice to you, its essentially just Great Customer Service. but youre not even really a customer because theyre doing it for free because they Luv Secs and Secsual Freedom and License. but in my mind, right or wrong, theyre still very much like prostitutes.

heh i even saw in the dream a young wimmin i used to work with at the horrible job. there were 3 attractive women there: That Woman, and two other young women. I would like liked to bang all of them, maybe even Date any of them, but i never really talked to the other women unfortunately. the one who appeared in a dream was a real obnoxious annoying bitch and she thought that made her cute or funny or something. but she had a nice body hahaha.

also it shows how if a woman is nice and friendly to you, and she fooks you and all that, you can START getting feelings for her even if you dont know here, even if you know shes a wh0re. that combination of niceness, and interest, and secs, or even just making out, that can produce oxytocin and Feelings. so you shouldnt have secs with people you just met. but thats how modern women Date. you literally cannot Go Slow Because then she wont see you as a Secsual Person (im not gonna use the word friendzone, but yeah thats essentially what it is. you can say you cant put me in the friendzone, im ending this failing friendship! but in the end you still get nothing either way hahahaha.)

heh. FEDGOV intermittent 12 dollar job called me today and said they were doing interviews right when i am starting my new job. JEEEEEEEEEZ. if it had been a week earlier i would have said yes. now i just let it go to voicemail and i thinking should i call them back in the afternoon. very on fence. i just want to take a break from job searching and get good at muh new job. but i wish the new job were a proper full time job so i wouldnt have to do more job searching ASAP!

i mean its “intermittent” or “casual” which means you arent guaranteed 40 hours. you might just get 20 hours. or 10 hours. then 50 hours. then some split shifts. work for 3 hours. then go home for 6 hours. then go back to work for 5 hours. also there are no sick fedgov benefits.

so. whores might be friendly to you and you might even get feelings for them. but when they are not with you they are out there fooking tons of other guys. dont get feelings for whores. fook them at your convenience, and ideally, just stay away from these degen jooish influences.

http://www.howtogeek.com/247380/how-to-fix-windows-update-when-it-gets-stuck/

this is enough technical support for me, trying to fix my own tech issues. better than a broken hard drive tho. but apparently when you reinstall windows 7 in 2016 it runs into issues with windows update not really updating. or is it? are there really updates it needs but is not getting. lets never find out because its not possible to see into this black box of bullshit hahahaha.

i was listening to the jack benny radio program on sirius radio classics and it seemed like good clean non jooish non degen humor, and i especially liked the character or rochester, how sounds like a ridiculous black house servant. but wasnt jack benny jooish? it almost didnt matter because his style did not seem jooish at all.

YEP he was EXTREMELY 100% jooish.

sweet the windows update fix actually worked. or seems to work.

so is it good proving to myself that i still can get feelings for women who are dirty sluts?

or maybe i shouldnt dislike dirty sluts so much? be more forgiving?

well i MIGHT be forgiving if they actually changed their slutting behavior! and showed me actual interest and loyalty and didnt lose interest in me super quickly!

hey i know the rules. you cant MAKE a woman stop fooking other guys, you cant MAKE them not have a wandering eye hahaha, you cant be too pushy and call or text them too often, or hang out too often, i know all those rules.

and i guess i probably would take a friendly, cute slut over nothing, no one, incel hahahaha. would probably let her fook other guys as long as she didnt stop fooking me. and washed herself after fooking the other guys.

i remember in the dream there was the idea that the women were fooking many guys one after the other, not even washing themselves in between, just oozing with j1zz and the guys (and the women!) just didnt care.

reddit. these people are so degen they think a woman being a CAMWH0RE is a viable valid lifestyle choice like being a stripper. im a college student and to get some extra money i dildo myself on camera. this is normal adn theres nothing wrong with it!

YES THERE IS! would you want to be with someone who thinks this is JUST FINE?

oh you evil controlling abuser

ended in shitty way, he is heartbroekn, she wont respond hehehe

just stop having so much damn SECS with so many damn guys! slow down! close your damn legs! really understand and respect the fact that this is how babies are made and the babies grow inside YOU, in YOUR uterus, so you have much more to lose than those big secsy MEN!

that you fooking these guys is like a pathetic beeta male jerking off to porn all the time!

pathetic and disgusting and degen and jooish!

its not because skydaddy taught me that sex was ebil and immoral, its that he taught me sex is SACRED and HOLY and SUBLIME, and using it as hedonistic pleasure is dsgusting!

HAVE SOME DAMN RESPECT FOR HUMAN LIFE!!!!!

thats the root issue for me. and you dont need to be religious to understand that, and i get even more butthurt when i see people saying that this is a RELIGIOUS issue, when its not!

the only atheists i like are the anti abortion atheists hehehehehe.

https://www.good.is/articles/millennials-celibacy-better-than-sex

what a fookin crock of shit, 25 year old nyc journalist SLUT goes on celibacy thing for ONE MONTH to learn more about her wants and needs and feelings, as if she werent narcissistic enough, but she as just taking a break from fooking 10 guys a month for a month.

http://hazlitt.net/feature/confessions-sexual-skeptic

lena dunham and amy schumer are “WHITE, ABLE BODIED, AND FEMME PRESENTING WOMEN”???

I thought they were fat jooish slob sluts!

the problem with sex positivity is not that its too Cis, its that its too positive and too damn obsessed with sex sex sex sex sex sex. i mean yeah so am i but why not talk about how shameful slutsex is hahaha.

i want a woman who is a PRUDE because she takes sex SERIOUSLY and her role as The Pregnant Sex and NOT because of strict religious stuff, though being religious is probably a positive. but if you have to say oh i dont act like a disgusting joo because GAWWDDDDDDDDDD says no, and not being you think, Its fooking DISGUSTING whether GOD says so or not, well then you are always gonna be tempted to be a disgusting jooish n1993r like these muh dick ape people. dicks out for harambe hahahaha.

you dont need GAWD to tell you that acting like an animal is DISGUSTING. Now you DO need GAWD for plenty of other stuff. like to give meaning to your life….??? well no, being an honorable white person can do that for you. someone that you can show gratitude to? yeah ok. and also show gratitude to people on earth too. but you should have that much gratitude, that you have extra to give to GOD.  GLORIFY HIM.

i guess i am all about sluts today because i had that dream FULL of sluts having LOTS of secs, with that old gurl who was an IRL slut. you know if i had gotten more secs from sluts, had gotten to know more sluts as actual people, i probably wouldnt hate sluts so much AND wouldnt hate casual sex so much. because id be getting plenty of it, and i would see that sluts are people too, and i would figure out how to DEAL with them.

but i havent had those experiences. i havent HAD a lot of secs with sluts. getting secs with good looking sluts is NOT easy. secs with bad looking, old, fat sluts is not easy hahahaha.

i would probably still come to the same conclusion eventually that casual sex is disgusting and bad. but i wouldnt be so damn butthurt by it, and say, yeah, i admit, i had some good times with casual sex and the sluts that provided it. troubled gurls, but not bad people, and i had fun with them, and learned valuable lessons on how to Deal With People from them. how to communicate and handle conflict and handle women.

but nooooooooooooooooo i havent benefited personally from sluts, and really, that is all MY fault, so i am a little ashamed for that. that i am not even man enough to pull the EASIEST women.

the women who give it away easily dont give it easily to me.

well, they dont give it away easily to MOST men! theres the 80 20 idea. that really only 20% of men benefit from sluts.

or is it 50 50? the end result is the same for me hahaha

in fact, its better for me to say that im part of the 80 than the 50 because then i can shift the blame. feel better about myself and worse about women.

but even at 80 20, i still feel pretty bad about myself AND bad abotu women!!!!!!

I always knew i had low mate value so i wasnt even THINKING about going out and Finding Women until i improved myself Career Wise. then that became a damn 4, 5, actually 8 year process that did not produce a ton of results. from total loser to a nonserious job and a ton of College Coursework, to a serious job, to absolutely nothing total loser once again, back to a nonserious job, and less desire than ever to do More Education.

i knew i shouldnt even THINK about Dating without a serious job, and by the time i got one, i was so stressed out i didnt even care about women, didnt care about secs, jerked off even less than usual and only to try to relieve stress. along the way i very easily met a nice female friend and boom i fell in luv with her. damn. but i wasnt LOOKING for her. it literally just happened. i didnt have time or energy or willing to try to date broads off the internet. i just wanted to ease my mind from muh job, sm0ke mj, study my job so i felt prepared and hopefully more calm. i learned the shit pretty well but i didnt feel much calmer. but that was also due to things getting bad with the woman too.

was i an overbearing annoying pathetic stupid idiot bitch to her? of course i was. i never said i wasnt. I KNEW i was being one. yeah i can see how being annoying can ruin a friendship but…..i dont know. i still think she overreacted and could have been more nice and validating and sympathetic to me.

wow like a damn broken record. but i do need to tell myself this stuff multiple times a day. its part of the lonnnnggggg getting over it process.

wow lots of richard spencer in the mainsteam lugenpresse after this years NPI. well good for that phag enabler hahahahaha.

news of upcoming spencer appearance at texas a&m univ getting some news, if he actually does the event i bet that will get some tv coverage tbh

https://www.washingtonpost.com/local/lets-party-like-its-1933-inside-the-disturbing-alt-right-world-of-richard-spencer/2016/11/22/cf81dc74-aff7-11e6-840f-e3ebab6bcdd3_story.html#comments

not a damn word about millennial woes or other conference people hahahaha. all richard spencer. under pressure hahahahaha.

no im glad for the publicity. i would like to go to NPI one year, but I would ESPECIALLY like to go to the TRS gathering in feb 2017. maybe that will make the news. spencer will probably make an appearance there anyway. hes not a bad guy. he is separated from his wife? that sucks.

politico.com higher up fired for posting spencers home address on fb and saying something about how The Good Guys used to visit nazi meetings with bats. lets beat up this NAZI. im glad tbis editor was fired. get a real job phaggot. go prep your wifes bull and pay for your wifes sons sex change operation hahahaha. trump is of couse

nov 24

yeah i should have figured this. MSM would not try to take alt right even semi seeriously, would just call them a bunch of HATEFUL, DANGEROUS NAZIS.

dont be fooled by his top tier education, and his brooks brothers suit, and his neat haircut, and his handsome looks! he’s even more manipulative and bigoted than TRUMP! and what did you expect america, electing trump, you just open the door for more bigots like spencer and the alt right! full blown NAZIS!!!!!

so now i cant even say im alt right to a normie, cuz all normies know is that the alt right is NAZI KKK BIGOT RACIST.

i mean how is this suprising hahahaha.

anyway. moving on to how 2 make 26k a year and get a gf who will not leave you who you actually sort of like and enjoy having traditional secs with them once every two weeks hahahaha and the thought of them nekkid excites rather than disgusts you.

basically, you want to be with them and only them, and arent having second thoughts during a honeymoon period of a substantial period. like 6 months hahahaha.

its not all about are they attractive…..but i have never luved a woman i DIDNT find attractive and did not want to fondle every inch of their body. you want to be with them, and not leave them.

be like john candy, not like steve martin hahahahahahaha. re the planes trains and autos movie. not that steve martin is not a super talented, smart and funny guy. (but hes picked shitty movies recently.) and he’s not jooish. neither is john candy. who died way too young. and the ending about john candy not having a family is sad and heartbreaking. great movie. not too degen at all. john hughes. great goy. died way too young.

oh lord. john candy is having a moment of despair late at night when he talks to his dead wife and sitting in the burned out car in the snow and realized that he is a good natured soul and tried to get along with people, but he just Comes On Too Strong, and Smothers Them, pushes them away. i know that feel hahahaha. thankfully steve martin redeems himself and invites john candy into the hotel room.

i can relate. yeah candy (del) might sometimes smother, but that doesnt make him a bad guy, and he doesnt realize what a huge asshole neil (steve martin) is . so dell was not smothering in this case. he was taking too much responsibility and not giving enough to neil. so he shouldnt blame himself so much or feel so bad.

so yeah i dont really want to SMOTHER people.

well i didnt SMOTHER woman2012 hahaha. i didnt SMOTHER the casual sluts TOO much. who cares. i never had a real rel with them anyway and they dumped me before i smothered them TOO much.

so yeah i dont smother ALL THE TIME with women i like.

kinda hard to smother someone when you dont hang out with them in 10 months.

is texting a little bit most days considered smothering? 100 texts a day, yes sure of course.

also if she didnt respond i wouldnt KEEP texting.

i would just ask every 2 weeks can we hang out please. can we hang out please. PATHETIC. oh i dunno i’ll text you. oh i dunno ill text you. never text.

i mean we were BOTH terrible at confronting the obvious. its not all her fault hahaha.

i just wish she had responded and said no i dont hate you, no you didnt do something horrible, i jsut dont feel that way about you, sorry, the end, wish you well.

you can send that in 1 text message, maybe 2, takes less than 2 minutes.

and THEN if i start harrassing after that, sending shitloads of texts, thats on me, thats me being a bad guy. BUT NOT BEFORE.

then it takes 2 years of you telling yourself this shit to get over it haha

meanwhile they bang 5000000000000 guys and forget about you in 1 minute hahahahahaha. SO COLD. hehehe. all women are that cold hahahaha. cognitive distortion alarm hahaha.

how to take shit

well you just smile and K them with Kindness. Smile and K them with kindness. gotta remember that. turn the other cheek. be like yes sir. sorry sir. im so sorry sir. smile and eat the shit. thats what you are paid for. then when you get out and go home, get drunk and beat your wife and kids. oh wait. you are a meek underemployed loser who cant get or afford a wife or kids. so go home and get drunk and cry because you dont have a wife and kids to beat.

ok no wife and kids to luv or beat, cant drink alcohol cuz were done with that, the obvious answer is to sm0ke MJ till super blazed the second you get home (and pretty much continue until you go to bed) and then ideally do high intensity cardio AND hardcore lifting AND a sauna AND some work related study AND ideally some cuddling and luv with your nonexistent waifu haha.

thanksgiving dinner. the fam is nice people. super working class whites, total types that should be won over by trump but prob voted demonrat 16, 20 years ago. union working class. a couple of the men were like yep i am happy, one guy was like “i am ecstatic, he has balls and is going to clean house”. the women were more like herrrp im not super happy about this jerk trump but oh well i will live and not be like these crybaby protestors, life goes on.  just sensible reactions all around.

and i wish i could do what they do, work low paying hard working jobs, swing shifts, no days off, no holidays off, no extra pay for working on thanksgiving and xmas and new years, never 2 days off in a week, etc, but some of them have been around long enough (25+ years) to have the easier jobs and arent in the same shitty position as the new people being hired in in 2016 making 10 dollars an hour, even shittier hours, seasonal, casual workers, a bunch of shiftless blacks and foreigners, but also plenty of honest poor white working class people in there too. and its so easy to become a damn alcoholic hehehehe.

i suppose if i found myself in that position again, i might start drinking again, just be very careful not to drink and DRIVE.

and then try to quit drinking as soon as i could get ahold of some MJ from a black or mexican or arab at muh working class job hahahaha.

uncle bern talks about richard spencer and NPI and maybe alt right. i really want Uncle Bern to come over to Full Racism, to confront the JQ, to become a countersemite, to become a damn 1488 WN, but i dont think he ever will, but it would be nice if he did. i Grew Up on Uncle Bern and now it seems ive passed him because he has not really developed on the JQ, but he’s MORE than smart enough to have occasion to face the JQ.

http://www.mirror.co.uk/news/uk-news/mystery-british-blogger-speaks-rally-9322583

jooish lugenpresse reports on millennial woes at NPI and supports that he should be doxxed for his hateful, misogynistic, ignorant views. glad to see all the comments are like you are full of shit, MW is a good boi dindu nuffin.

http://www.dailyrecord.co.uk/news/scottish-news/who-mystery-scottish-racist-who-9317228

another uk press article on MW. ok ts the same article, just diff comments, but same general pro-MW sentiment, good. looks like some TRS goys got in there, good. i could see you calling TRS hateful possibly, but to call MW hateful is absolutely ridiculous. he is the least hateful person ever. also, i think some hate is justified in these times. neither TRS nor MW or any of the people I like go over that line, which i guess would be openly encouraging violence and terrorism like some kind of federal informer hahahaha.

http://www.mirror.co.uk/news/world-news/inside-most-racist-town-america-9328501

most racist town in america, harrison, arkansas hahaha they have pro white billboards. sounds like a great place to live hahahaha but probably not a lot of 26k a year jobs there or 25 year old n<4  6.7/10 white trad waifus there hahahahahahahahahaha

not sure how carbs became the worst thing ever, but they are.

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

heheheheheheheh cant forget about that one

this is how women respond to everything and they think its CUTE.

ok ok ok STOP STOP STOP COGNITIVE DISTORTION ALARM. COGNITIVE DISTORTION ALARM.

n1993r alarm.wav hehehehehe

nov 25 2016

http://therightstuff.biz/2016/11/22/how-to-red-pill-your-woman/

heheh i forget theres a TRS regular site with articles

i mean real men wont NEED an article, but On The Fence Borderline Men like me would like reading an article like this hahahaha. like we will ever get a woman who wouldnt dump us IMMEDIATELY anyway hahahaha.

they dont give you the CHANCE to redpill them, theyre already LONG GONE.

i might pull the trigger here and spend 18 dollars to buy a stainless steel old fashioned Safety Razor, ie an old school razor that uses wristcutter razor blades. they say it gives a closer shave AND less discomfort than any of the modern 6000000000 blade gillette razors. not that i like a smooth baby face! its quite phaggy, pedophilic, jooish, feminine, cuck, omega, womanly.

but for those times that you absolutely HAVE to shave, ie job interviews, new job, weddings, funerals, then why not have a good, comfortable shave?

got dbt workbook by mckay and 2 other authors, new harbinger publishers, wahterver. looks promising. little thinner/shorter than i hoped, but not terrible.

looks very promising. hope i will like it hahaha. i dont think i will HATE it.

trying not to think about how All 6.6/10 and above 25 year old single women are All Huge Sociopathic, Abandoning, Horrible Immature Sluts hahahaha. total cog distortion ahahahahah. just gotta not think about it. ignore it. avoid it. and do anything else. like WORK. lift weights. play vidya. powerwalk. ideally would be working at job that did not K me. work and make money. but that is SO HARD to do too. even doing the bare minimum of making 26k a year is SO, SO, SO, SO UNIMAGINABLY hard, a HERCULEAN, SISYPHEAN, ATLEAN effort.

I knew it would be hard, but I didnt think it would be THIS hard.

¯\_(ツ)_/¯   ¯\_(ツ)_/¯  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯   ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

¯\_(ツ)_/¯  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

hehehehehe

sheeeeeeeeeeit.

i had a dream where i was hanging out with WEEV and a bunch of young alt right pro-whites. they were all younger and much higher energy and more confident and nonnevergf than me hahahaha. i was talking to this other guy and he said ok here’s your first assignment, we want to make sure youre not an undercover fed, and i was like ok, I just dont want to do anything violent or illegal hehehehe. somehow i had gotten infected with some sort of wirus where my body was covered with disgusting boils or huge zits everywhere. my mission was to go swimming in a pool filled with a bunch of young joos or antiwhites, and therefore infect all of them with this disgusting affliction. I went ahead and did this. i did not see the results of it and i woke up shortly afterwards.

kinda funny though.

heh got a SNES and n64 emulator, and all these great games, some final fantasy rpg games, classic stuff, and i dont feel like playing them. is it because the keyboard is too hard to learn? i dunno.

hmm thank GOD i did not really fall off the fatwagon on thanksgiving. like its not gonna screw up muh whole month. heh. but my downfall will be eating this goddamn CAKE. fook CAKE.

but you can sit there and just eat straight turkey or whatever all day. lots of protein, low calories. even the gravy is not bad. but start adding stuffing and potatoes and cake and mac and cheese and then you are DONE. FINISHED. instant lardass.

you dont get fat off meat. you get fat off mac and cheese and french fries and pizza and carbs and bread and pasta and noodles. and cake hehehe.

i have gotten better at doing more pushups. what i do is 10 pushups when i get up in the morning, and then throughout the day, just randomly do 6 pushups a couple of times per day. like 3 or 4 of those hehehe.

just stuff me full of fried meat until I am cripplingly obese and provide me with heroic medical care until I gracelessly expire ahahahahahahahahahahahaha

hehehe i WISH i came up with that beautiful poetry hehehehehe.

all right i will try to play final fantasy 6 aka ff3 for snes, which i never had, and which is very very very expensive to buy an snes cartridge for, and was the game prior to the big ff7 on ps1, and i guess ff6 was very acclaimed as well. i recall playing an emulator at leat 5 years ago when i busted out muh actual snes console.

welp played a bunch of ff6. it was ok. not bad but not amazingly awesome. could do a lot lot worse if you are looking for an old fashioned rpg tho.

prob not worth paying 60 bucks for or however much it is on ebay.

again. it was ok but still kinda meh. i did not get sucked into a world like i did with ff10 and 12 for the ps2. although snes is prob the better system, and one i spent way much more time with during muh very formative years.

i could dl a ps2 emulator too hahahahahah. but the games are way way large. i cant believe how small they are for snes games. like 1 mb. so small. a huge game like ff6 is only 2 mb.

ITS IMPOSSIBLE TO RESPECT SOMEBODYS DECISION TO TREAT YOU WITH DISRESPECT

 

oct 13

apparently got up way too early today for 9am test. strangely not pooping even though drinking coffee and have some food that should be ready to go hmmm.

i just hate angry customers demanding explanations that i dont have, demanding to speak to somebody else when i cant transfer them, and i dont have time to Figure Out their problem, and just have to tell them It Is What It Is, Live With It. There’s no tactful way to say this problem isnt serious enough to our company to waste time figuring it out.

when you are sitting there in the trenches desperately trying to bullshit people and survive to the end of another day in hell, the one thing that gives you hope and solace is the idea that the first thing you do when you get home is youre gonna prepare a yuuuuuuuuge spliff and smoke it and get hella blazed. that is your one saving grace. it really does help. without that, things really start to look hopeless.

did not get a ton of sleep last night hehehe .

aha well feel the BM coming now finally hahahaha. usually i dont have to wait!!!!

then i get mad at other people, like HOW DO YOU DEAL WITH THIS? HOW DO YOU HANDLE THIS? and they get mad at me cuz i am mad at them cuz they can so easily tell customers “i dunno, not my problem, deal with it, live with it, cant help you, it is what it is, goodbye.”

well, it is true that what i saw what PERHAPS the evidence of a company on the downfall. well, the company was having a Bad Year, Big Losses, and laid a ton of people off, including in our department. but was the shitty service we gave indicative of that, or was it always like that, even when times were Good and Growing? i mean you always want to save money and do more with less, and that means sweeping Small Problems under the rug.

its just hard being the person who has to tell the person youre sweeping THEIR problem under the rug.

very hard. what do you say?

idk just go with the flow lol  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

yeah well YOU stop listening to your degen music and TELL this person that. give them a damn good EXPLANATION WHY you are sweeping their problem under the rug.

and go suck negro dick some more. spread your legs for negros and make fookin shitsprogs with them.

i might not be in luv with negros, but i can at least admit they are humans hahahaha. they are living human beings and their innocent babies lives have some innate value and shouldnt be created WILLY NILLY. same with any nonwhite babies. I am a sucker for babies. all races babies are INNOCENT HUMAN LIVES that should not be treated like GARBAGE.

im not an idiot i SWEAR. Here, call my high school teacher from 20 years ago when I was a top 5% student and got all A’s.

ok took the test, it was EASY AS SHIT. basically copy an extremely simple table from this paper into excel, using sum formulas and multiplication formulas hahahaha. no index match or offsets or vlookups hehehehe.

and then use an adding machine with paper tape roll to add up a list of 20 numbers. i did not even understand. who uses adding machines.

i was nice to the lady and she was nice to me and i also saw a printout of the 30 people who took the written test a few weeks ago where i did horribly on the accounting questions, i told the lady yeah i didnt do so well on the accounting part, but i took accounting courses in College and got A’s I SWEAR, I could TOTALLY do that stuff again with the debits and credits and journal entries if I just did a little refresher, its not rocket science, its just you get rusty if you havent used it in a few years!!!!!! and she seemed understanding.

jeez. just when i thought trump was past this grab em by the pvssy shit, some more bad shit happens, namely, some b’s coming out saying he groped them. i guess i sort of thought this might happen, and now it is. i like how he is condemning the lugenpresse, because he knows this cant be proven, although youre a woman hater if you think a Victim Might Be Lying, especially if they put their name and face on video and say I, Ms Lyin Slutberg, say that trumps hands were like an octopus on me in 1980, and women dont make this shit up for political reasons hahahaha.

but yeah that is the prevailing idea, that women never lie. and trumps got to get women to believe women do lie, in order to get womens vote. of course women know women lie, but they will deny it to the point of voting against that bad bad man.

but yeah it is def hurting his poll numbers signif. i mean it does not look good folks.

but if he can handle this as well as he handled the pvssy tape, he has a chance.

heh i almost had a heart attack seeing this one cuz i actually thought it was That Woman doing an actual reddit post about ME hahahahahahaha. but its not. i am older than 29 anyway hahahahaha. also it sounds like she rejected him a little nicer because they were still talking afterwards. well…..not really. well, it sounds like she actually told him “im not interested,” and THEN he started asking Creepy Details about her Secs Life. well at least i did not do that! so i am less of a creep and better at respecting boundaries than this guy!

i mean i am fine being a woman hater but i DONT want to be a creep, i DO want to respect boundaries.

I was VERY, VERY, VERY distraught and upset, like this guy, but I think I did an OK job of respecting boundaries…..well just the idea of me getting feelings for her and asking her to hang out regularly was Trampling Her Boundaries!

yeah well she could have stopped saying YES WE WILL HANG OUT!!!!!!!!!! that KINDA got my hopes up!

but yeah i admit i was weak and cowardly and should have blurted everything out in november 2014. that is the lesson i learned, and if i ever get into this situation again, that is what i will do.

i didnt really manipulate our mutual friend to talk to her, but yeah maybe i did secretly hope that mutual friend would talk to that woman and be like hes really upset and you were kinda shitty to him hehehehehehehehe.

but yeah it gets to a point where you really dont have anything to TALK about. i learned pretty quickly that i didnt want to just TALK to her, i wanted a CHANCE with her. the time for TALKING was earlier. like yeah i wish you had dumped me with talking but if you come talk to me now, uhh yeah im still in luv with you, ill still be in luv with you 15 months later. i can accept you not wanting the rel, just tell me no. tell me no and tell me im not a piece of garbage hahahaha. just say aw im sorry youre a real sweet guy like all the other women who “FRIENDZONE” their male friends hahahahahaha and then lets take a little break because you cant be friends when theres one sided feelings, didnt you learn than by age 25 hahahaha.

i will pay for a dumping expert for you to dump me.

or have your mom dump me for you.

but yeah at the end of the day she was a nice person, a beautiful person, and i will never get over her or stop being in luv with her or find a better woman ahahahahahahaha.

this feels as bad as muh First Heartbreak! they say the first is by far the worst, but this one is by far the worst! the 5th or 6th heartbreak hehehehe. well because it was the most significant actual relship.

anyway yeah i guess i understand, if i were in her position i wold have a hard time dealing with me too.

i mean you really do need a professional for these types of things. well ok. i would have her go to my shrink, talk to my shrink for 30 minutes, then i would talk to the shrink for 30 minutes. do a couple of those sessions. and the shrink could relay everything in a mature manner. thats their JOB hahahaha.

yeah well many people are just horrible at their jobs and have no idea what they are doing hehehe.

i mean isnt this what QUALITY ASSURANCE does? makes sure stuff is objectively correct?

i mean i never experienced this before. i pretty much accepted the ITS OVER talk. well, i would try to win them back. didnt work. they would make out with you (and im sure str8 up Pity Fook you, because its just secs). but i was too pathetic to even PUSH for secs because im nervous about secs and am perfectly happy with making out.

anyway winning them back didnt work and i shouldnt have tried it.

well these were crazy middle class jooish college gurls! and That Woman was a nice white down to earth normal woman who was not a Huge Career Woman.

i was a little creepy, but was I SO creepy that I should be totally ashamed of myself? sometimes i am, sometimes im not, and im still not sure how ashamed i SHOULD be, in other words, not sure exactly How Creepy I was.

i mean i dont WANT to be creepy. because “creepers” dont get women ever. its synonymous with undesirable. i dont want to be undesirable. have such deep issues i could never be with a wimmin. i mean they have deep issues too, but it doesnt matter bc women are the supply, therefore i HAVE to not be creepy. it is my responsibility. my mission. i dont want to fail my mission.

heheh got up at 6 am, not a lot of sleep, in mood for nap now at 12 pm hahahaha.

anyway. muh life is in ruins and all i can think about is WOMEN. and this is not a new thing. i always cared more about women and the related drama, than making something of myself. this is one of muh hugest flaws.

cuz i was always way more interested in women than i was in Employment, Education, or Training hahahahahaha. all that stuff was boring at best and excruciating at worst.

yeah i shoud not be writing here, very tired hahahaha. i mean i SHOULD be furiously jobsearching but i dont do that so furiously. hey i did something job related today! and i am on the baby steps plan hahaha.

but i have been on the baby steps plan for YEARS. i need to start doing MORE than baby steps, a LOT more.

GROWN ASS MEN DONT GET ANYWHERE WITH BABY STEPS.

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

teen doesnt want to go to college, caretaker says she needs college beause shes not the type to do well without college.

such an easy answer. let the damn kid take a damn gap year, maybe two. also its easy to get a job when you are a 18 year old gurl hahahahaha. take some business classes at the CC because the kid is vaguely interested in “Starting a business” with no plan. so take accounting classes at least, maybe econ, i dunno. def accounting cuz its an actual skill you can get paid for. i mean it hasnt really helped my career hahahaha.

everyones like o just have her get a FT job and pay you rent, which in theory is a great idea…..but what if she cant get an FT job? spends the entire gap year just applying to jobs, going to interviews, and not getting jobs? hehehehe.

which i highly doubt tho, cuz as an 18 year old gurl she could prob get hired at a 12 dollar an hour county job like i just got two rejections today for two such jobs! they either dont like muh gap andor they think i am overqualified andor they dont want to hire white males. they hire a lot of white females though hahahahaha.

anyway if the kid is not DRIVEN in real life, they wont be DRIVEN in college, and being a lazy slob in college is not gonna help them. then you become a huge failure like me hahahaha.

anyway i always knew i was too fooked up to have a rel with a woman, so i wasnt actively looking for one. i knew i had to fix myself first, and that would take YEARSSSSSSSSSSSS until i am 40 or so.

point is, i didnt go LOOKING for a woman when i “found” That Woman. Us becoming friends was the easiest, most natural, most spontaneous thing i had felt in a very long time. we just got along instantly. it just happened naturally af. i didnt LUV her at first. after 2 years of being solid friends, i fell in luv with her. and yet i still was too broken and damaged to be in a rel.

point is, i wasnt putting myself out there, i wasnt trying to FIND a GF in other words. she literally fell into muh life and we got along rather MIRACULOUSLY.

like i think about going on okcupid or something and practicing banging sluts, but i know im not even ready for that cuz muh life is a mess, cant take care of myself, cant be a adult, i gotta get that stuff fixed before i even THINK about women.

hehehehe. yep. get me to stop thinking about women hehehehe.

well thats a lot easier when you are working FT at a terrible job. THEN you just think about surviving one day at a time. you have no Libido, you cant even jerk off UNLESS You look at porno. and it becomes a joyless experience solely to attempt to relieve stress. destress. and it doesnt work nearly as well as smokin MJ.

or quickly crank one out thinking of the Office Young Slut that all the other lonely old guys want to bang too.

if you are lucky enough to GET a job. AND work with even ONE attractive young woman.

but attractive young women can be INCREDIBLY distracting.

well, you will probably be thinking of them ANYWAY even if you dont know or see any. kinda in that position right now. im always thinking of women, but i really dont interact that much with women, and my point is, i dont know ANY attractive young women! but i still think about the idea of them! all the time!

shit maybe send that 17 year old kid to a shrink (i am thinking of them more as a boy than a girl, because gurls shouldnt Go Away To College period.) just to get a damn “tune up” and make sure they dont have Depression or Anxiety or Bipolar. just get a check up, and if they have anything, they can start treating it when theyre young and before they get their whole life off track. maybe the kid is Depressed because they dont seem to have any drive or motivation hehehehe. also make sure they are NOT doing drugs or alcohol regularly. find a male mentor who is 5 years older. 9 at the very most.

if the mentors are too old, they wont know how the world works and their advice wont apply hahahahaha. theyll say go to college, thats your sure ticket to the middle class, hahahaha.

dont get a female mentor.

FEMALES CANT MENTOR.

well, maybe they can mentor children and women, IF they have children of their own.

well what about this guys wife who is a successful business owner.

ok fine, if they own a successful business, ill give them a pass.

and actual entrepreneurs WOULD be GREAT mentors for Teens. but good luck getting access to these privileged, valuable, expensive, very important people. their time is worth 100 bucks an hour just to talk to them on the phone. just go shadow a doctor or something. go shadow bill gates hahahaha.

but yeah going to college right after high school was a HORRIBLE idea for me, so yeah i was VERY interested in that topic.

wewlad finally gonna come in under muh daily calorie goal of 1200, instead of way way over.

ITS SO HARD TO DO EVEN 1 BABY STEP hahahahaha.

but yeah i get SO nervous at the idea of Facing Customers. it is TERRIFYING. like the kids at mcdonalds making 9 dollars an hour. i couldnt do what they do!

but the FACT is, at ONE time, i USED to do pretty high level, in depth, srs business customer service. having deep intense serious conversations.

so yeah i just want to answer all my haters who say i got involved with a woman before i was READY.  it just HAPPENED ok. i wasnt LOOKING for anything. you cant CHOOSE who you LUV.

on reddit some college educated career woman was doing a /sarcasm about sex being “the holy process by which babies are made” /s . i wanted to reach through the screen and punch her in the face for being such a fooking godless disgusting degenerate. THAT SHOULDNT BE SARCASM! THATS EXACTLY WHAT SECS IS!!!!!!!!!!

and i am honestly disappointed that ONLY religious people share my beliefs. I argue endlessly you dont HAVE to be religious, christian, etc to have my beliefs on Sexual Morality, that sex is a darn near holy, sacred, sublime process by which Human Life is created, so have some damn REVERENCE for it.

apparently only religious nuts think this, and everybody else doesn’t.

i am SORTA religious but I stubbornly insist you dont NEED to be to feel this way about secs. even a damn tree worshiping pagan would agree with me!

i was pleasantly surprised to see that there were soem gun owners on reddit. one rel question involved guns and plenty of gun owners responded. i expected everyone on reddit to be violently antigun, anyone who doesnt express only negative opinions about guns is an evil white cis racist hateful nazi kkk trump raeper. so i was glad to be proven wrong there.

everything is NOT OKAY with these women. 25 year old women making 50 grand a year write work emails about things being NOT OK. good god.  and we all have to bow down to the women and fix shit when they think something is NOT OK. no man would EVER use those words to describe anything, unless he is a total cuckold phaggot.

women are very conformist in the way they talk so colloquial idioms like “not ok” and “its a thing” and “its been a minute” and “creeper” and “netflix and chill” and LITERALLY and  just the littlest ways of speaking, the words, the stupid slang, they get really into that and it changes the way they TALK. and men just dont TALK like that, not nearly as much.

 

heh the anxiety reddit is sometimes pretty good, though not nearly as much comments as relshits.

 

yep

 

in this WOMANS defense, I would get anxious about 12-15 hour shifts too!

 

there is a despair reddit too but damn these people are pathetic. but there are some good questions like the above. not alot of answers though.

anyway i think my despair comes FROM muh anxiety which holds me back from taking risks and doing things and accomplishing Life Goals like getting a real job, maintaining the job, getting a rel, maintaining the rel, being an adult, etc.

also anxiety prevents a LOT of people from working. they have panic attacks and crying every day about their job. panicking every morning. panicking at lunch. being exhausted and destroyed at the end of every day.

some suggested that high CBD cannabis can help with anxiety but high THC can Aggravate anxiety? i dont doubt that. but I always think of it in terms of indica vs sativa, and this is NOT the same thing.

well then give me a high CBD indica hahahaha.

 

1 comment basically saying i dunno, nothing helps, try meds and maybe it will help you seem like a normie.

hehehehe. i know that feel.

but yeah. valid, good questions, with barely any responses. bretty disappointing reddit.

well i can at least be gratefu that muh anxiety and despair arent as bad as some of these people. like i can actually go on interviews, 23 of them hahahahaha. (but VERY doubtful about actually doing a job and surviving at it!!!!!!). also i dont get holy shit i must K myself sort of thoughts. more like wow i am a huge failure who has wasted my life and i will never be able to turn it around, but i dont really want to K myself! but i just feel hopeless about being able to become a real adult with an average job, and to get a halfway decent gf, ideally wife. ok FINE i will accept not having children. but i wont accept getting into a rel with a shitty woman out of pure desperation and loneliness. i would rather continue being alone. and just smoke MJ and maybe bang sluts like a degen. its not ideal but i wonder if some secs would make a man more confident which he can then use to do actually good, nondegen things. the ends jsutify the means. by any means necessary.

oct 14

https://www.eremedia.com/ere/why-you-cant-get-a-job-recruiting-explained-by-the-numbers/

yeah the page does exist, ive got it open right now. very discouraging article  written by evil hr person hahaha.

http://insights.dice.com/2014/09/16/recruitings-dirty-little-secrets/

ok ive had enough hahaha

basically i was looking for an Experts Opinion on low-level (data entry, general clerk, entry level admin asst, clerical asst, office clerk) get posted AGAIN and AGAIN and AGAIN and over and over and over every 3 or 4 weeks, basically the same position in the same location, and you apply 3 or 4 or 5 times until youre ike WTF is going on here, ive applied to this same job 4 times and still havent gotten called for a First Interview or even a Phone Screening, WTF is going on here. has their HR department blackballed me, or is this just not a real job? are they building a pool? there must be 10000 people in the pool by now!! are they trying to build a BETTER pool? its a 12 dollar an hour job! youre not gonna GET mark zuckerberg!!!!!! WHAT IS GOING ON here? looking for an article that explains this phenomenon, but cannot find.

i mean yeah im sure i could get flagged as “DESPERATE, WILL TAKE ANYTHING” in the ATS, which is only half true. I will only take anything that is less than 50% phones hahahahaha, i will take anything that wouldnt obviously drive me completely insane and do a panicquit hahahahaha.

im sure ive got that flag at the hospital where ive applied to 50 jobs. but i’m not applying to shit all over the hospital! i am applying to stuff in my ballpark of qualification!!!!!!!!!!

if there are men looking for the “GF experience”, are there women looking for the BF experience?

well, and im not SURE about this, but my THEORY is that women who get LONELY like this will just end up trying to convert their BFE (probably a Fook buddy or FWB) into an actual BF.

just basically slapping your fantasy image of the perfect GF/BF onto whatever attractive person lets you fook them. then you fook them and cuddle with them and be nice to them and start to want them as your GF even though you have no idea who they REALLY are. pretty much what happened with the first gurl i fooked.

its safe to say if you want the GFE, you want a GF, period.

(yeah this is kind of a NO SHIT SHERLOCK thing when you think about it for 1 second.) so you are at risk. you bang some slut and try to make it a GFE, and then probably end up getting stupid feelings too fast because what you REALLY want is a GF.

i mean its not really STUPID, its completely understandable.

when you search what appears to be specific requisition numbers on a big companys job site and you cant find the job. because i got an email alert saying apply for this job, but no LINK in the email, so i search the req number given in the email to make sure i find the exact job, and nothing. total incompetence by the HR of a YUGE successful company. shit why even post jobs, they can get top talent from top skools, why even open this shit to slobs like me.

less than 1 month to go and the pres campagins are now all about Secs Scandals. this is honestly kinda disappointing. not that secs scandals do not matter cuz they ARE an indicator of Morality, which is more important than anything hehehehe.

well i mean i will accept a president who has groped a few women, but is sincere about making america great again hahahahaha. i will not accept a pres who has groped and raeped a LOT of women and who wants to genocide my race hahahahahahaha.

so what if trump doesnt respect women? I dont respect women! well, the MAJORITY of women hahahahaha. SOME women are respectable. but not a lot.

although on a person to person level, social interactions, i treat everybody respectfully, even if the person may not really be respectable. i mean im not gonna FIX them by being an asshole to them. i dont like being an asshole to people anyway. its too much WORK, its too much STRESS, too much anxiety.

i wish there was a lot more discussion on the anxiety reddit. there is 10% of the talk as there is on the relships. but anxiety CAUSES SO much trouble with relships, with life in general. well, for men at least. women can still have anxiety and get Rels and Jobs because they are the supply. they are very much in demand. men will bend over backwards to Help Women. thats just the way it is. accept it. dont get MAD about it and complain that its UNFAIR. its really NOT, because women get pregnant. now it might be unfair that women arent AWARE of this, and its definitely infuriating. and it IS fair for you to get angry about that, hahahahahahahaha.

WE HAVE NO RECORD OF THAT.

another great it is what it is, not our problem, oh well, youre screwed, deal with it type statement you can give to your customers.

im not saying youre lying, but youre lying. we have no record of that. not because were incompetent.

so youre telling me that my wireless card is just gonna keep disconnecting every single day, and the only way to “FIX” it is to restart my computer 10 times a day, repeatedly run network troubleshooting 10 times a day, and just WAIT when i lose internet for 10 minutes at a time every day and have to tell my paying customers, sorry, you have to wait 10 more minutes before the computer can take your money. nope we cant give you a discount either because budget. gotta cut costs goy. no refunds, no exchanges, no discounts, no service, no guarantees, all sales are final.

some people hate sitting in TRAFFIC. but you know whats even WORSE? actually being at work and having to deal with those callers and customers and tasks! traffic is EASY!!!!! its a NO BRAINER!!!! you just sit there and wait and move verrrrrryyyyyy sloooooooooowly. you already know how to HANDLE it. you dont need to make 1000 flashcards and study every night on how to deal with heavy traffic. its simple, its not complicated, its a 1+1 math problem.

meanwhile every phone call is a fookin Calculus 5 story problem where they bitch at you to explain why on every step, and youre not doing this fast enough, and dont you know what youre doing, why cant i speak to someone who knows what theyre doing, nobody in your department ever knows what theyre doing! isnt this your JOB????

so yeah i hate that. it is very nerve wracking, anxiety provoking.

now, anxiety was not a big problem for me for a good long while, from like 2010 to 2013. i was working an easy job, handling that, i wasnt anxious and nervous. i was grumpy and angry and hateful sure, but not anxious. 2014, 2015 were huge anxiety years, carried over into 2016 as well.

but it was nice to go several full YEARS without as much anxiety. but then it comes back for YEARS again. damn.

We have no record of this. Please reboot your computer and wait 10 minutes before attempting to use your cash register or office computers. Discounts/refunds must be approved by CEO, or create a Cash Drawer Shortage so your manager can fire you for stealing. Hope This Helps!

was this because i was working at a failing company, and everybody knew it was failing? (except for people who just listened to music all day and said idk go with the flow lol idk) the customers, the managers, the nonmanagers, the field, the support, everybody with half a brain?

when your customer says, this is DISGRACEFUL service, and you say, yeah i agree, but there’s nothing i can do here. i am the manager. policies. ill get in trouble. we cant just give discounts away. our company will go out of business. and then it goes out of business anyway through a combination of giving away discounts, bad service, low quality, high prices.

whos supposed to be doing this, because i dont know how to do this. oh im supposed to be doing this? says who? let me speak to their manager. oh theyre not in. you have one manager for 5 locations. ok whos the acting manager. nobody. ok whos the smartest person there. oh he’s not in. WHO IS THE SMARTEST PERSON WHO IS THERE RIGHT NOW. hes in a meeting. ok, then who is the smartest who is in the building, who is not in a meeting, who can talk to me right now? nobody, were all on the phone with customers. i am literally the only person who can help you, and i dont know what im doing.

ok who has the most seniority/experience. oh this whole office/location is new. ive only been here a month and all the managers have only been here 2 weeks. NOBODY knows what theyre doing. so we call people for help, and THEY dont know what theyre doing.

sheeeeit times like this i need to get out of the house. i did apply for one job thank god, a military civ job. only took 16 minutes. well when you ONLY put 16 minutes or 15 minutes into a app, thats a good GUARANTEE that you will never get an interview! hahahahaha. you should be spending at LEAST an hour on every app, really fine tuning it to each job hahahaha.

anyway i have decided to go to the store today and get a white dress shirt that fits me a bit better than the one i usually wear for interviews, which is too big.

later

ok did that. felt the need to get out of house and DO something, not just complain in here, and force myself to apply for Jobs. and not “just” go for a walk, but DO something, anything i needed to do, like get a white dress shirt that fits better, or go buy laundry detergent for the home. going for a walk is fine, i need to lose weight (not really, but i do WANT to!) but i wanted to Baby Step Do Something today.

went to burlington for the shirt. we had a majority white town thank GOD but burlington in the middle of the afternoon is NOT majority white. there were a ton of blacks and especially arabs there. some asians.

the arabs in my town, you wouldnt have to worry about them joing ISIS, but they might be contenders for drug dealing and Raping White Gurls. but i dont think they are too islamic. they just speak arabic and haggle with cashiers at burlington and grope women and probably like to drink which is absolutely haram. smoke hookahs all day and watch soccer.

got some diet coke because i was curious to mix it with my coffee.

rejection emails that reference requisition numbers that DO NOT MATCH WITH the requisition numbers stated on the taleo site! it gives a 7 digit number, and all the req numbers i see are 6 digit! so i cant even match it up with a job on my spreadsheet for certain, because i recorded the 6 digit req number!!!!!! so i dont know which admin assistant job i was rejected for!

or you take 10 minutes to apply for a job (contingent (casual) job no less) and only when youre DONE does it tell you the job has expired. thanks NEWTON ATS.

wewlad. finally got in muh 3 apps for the day. so much shit is coming up expired. or i already applied to it but couldnt figure out if i had or not. felt like it took forever. much longer than the 42 minutes it should have taken hahahaha.  in fact it took 46 minutes hehehehehehe.

kirkland vodka. apparently critics say its better than gray goose and also way cheaper.

that basically all kirkland booze is high quality and reasonably priced.

i just thought that was kinda funny. as a guy who used to drink fooking near-bottom shelf canadian whiskey like canada house and rich and rare and royal canadian and CANADIAN HUNTER hahahaha. i couldnt even drink something good like VO or Crown Royal. once in a while i did canadian club hahahahaha.

Rich and Rare was probably the best quality for a low price, shameful booze, and candian hunter was the most BADASS……but not really the best quality. I cant not recommend the Rich And Rare though. got EPIC drunk off of that shit.

actually R&R was pricier than royal canadian.

i really dont know how i got into drinking steel reserve tho. BAD idea. i mean why not just drink lots of regular beer like miller lite. well, i did that too!

maybe get some kirkland weed hahahahahahahahahahaha. well im sure if they had some, it would be good.

i guess Kirkland Shirts are pretty good. not sure about pants hahaha. get some nice Kirkland Jeans hahahahaa.

10 thousand word post. this is definitely top 5% length folks.  just ridiculous.

get a kirkland wife hahahaha. kirkland mail order bride.

ya know i am not interested in a mail order bride at all. even a white one. maybe when i am 45 – 50 i will be hehehehe.

ok moved some of this long post to the previous post to match the lengths a little bettter.

i mean i just want to get a LOT of MJ right now. like a 4th or half ounce! like 100 dollars of MJ i would buy right now. i mean im thankful to have that kind of money, but thats what happens when you are a neet who didnt have a ton of expenses and saved most of their money when they were working.

are there any neets who ARENT virgins?

well probably. what i mean is there any neets who are getting secs from nonhookers at the time of their neetness? or even has a gf? neets with a gf? dont make me laugh hahahaha.

ate way too much at dinner again. went over limit of 1200 for the day.

now i CAN get all the way up to 1500 and not GAIN weight. ie 1500 is muh BMR. well i got to like 1450 today.

lesson: if your one Big Meal is a huge meal at a restaurant, that will put you well above 1200 unless you do a LOT of ezercise that day. like 500 calories at least. which some people can do in 30 minutes of running. not me. takes a solid hour of dam jogging.

sheeeeeeeeeeeit well i found the company THAT WOMAN works for and it is pretty damn close to muh house. well i saw a posting from the company on indeed and looked at it, then looked up the location of the company. it was about 2 or 3 miles from muh house.  thankfully i never go that way.

well i am now mad that she gets a job that is close to her home, closer than the last one. and that she can handle taking help desk calls.

well maybe she cant! maybe they put her on phones and she flipped the fook out because she’s not used to phones.

and it doesnt matter! it just sucks that i still think about her at all!

because i havent found a good REPLACEMENT for the positive stuff i got from her. namely a good connection with a decent woman, a real rel. its easy to have casual secs (well, not for me) but its HARD to have a real rel. real rels are inherently noncasual. they are long term. it is HARD to replace that shit.

and i am not happy at myself, that i looked up the exact location of the company. but i saw the company randomly on indeed, without searching for it, saw it was located in a city near mine which is a small city with nothing but machine shops (and i should really get a job at one of those, but then i might see her hahahahaha) and i was surprised that this type of company was in that city, THEN i looked up the exactly location, which, because it was in this small city, was OF COURSHE going to be close to me.

THEORETICALLY she could stop at the huge grocery store near here, to or from going to her job, and i could see her at the store, because this is the grocery store nearest to my home, and i go there regularly. was there today.

this is what happens 15 months after someone you never even fooked or dated dumps you hahahahaha.

sheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeit.

heh i applied to an Entry Level Data Entry job which ive applied to this same job 3 or 4 times. it just keeps appearing and appearing. i apply and apply. it gets hundreds of applicants every time. why keep opening it. very fishy. this time i totally forgot to change the name of the company from my previous cover letter. (i did change it the first time its mentioned, in the first paragraph, but forgot to do the second time, in the third paragraph.) sheeeeeeeeeeeeeit. now i am probably on a blacklist and should never apply to that job again. its disgraceful they even post the job so often. i am sure there si high turnover, lots of blacks. why cant they call me!!!!!!!!

yeah but i want a company that posts jobs rather than never posts jobs, right? even if they already HAVE all the candidates they could possibly need????

that feel when you get to 5 jobs in 1 day for the first time in a while because youve been getting discouraged and slowing down, then find out 1 of those is DEFINITELY disqualified because you made that stupid mistake.

thing is, they probably wouldnt even really care.

i hate that dumb blacks can get these jobs just because they dont have Anxiety HAHAHAHAHAHA no i am just partly kidding. its not because of Anxiety that i dont get these jobs, because i hide the anxiety FAIRLY well on interviews and fake my way as being MOSTLY normie with a normie level of interview anxiety. but it is very true that blacks have less anxiety than whites. its just the way they are wired. so they can aggressively grab women by the pvssy and impregnate as many women as possible in a total r selection strategy. and the women love it.

 

ENTITLED TO AWWWWWW IM SORRY

may 16

went to the post office city carrier assistant 1 interview. there were about 20 candidates there. at least 50% were blaqq. I dont say that with any sort of judgement, just stating a fact hahaha. i get along with blaqs just fine on the job. i wouldnt really care if…..well i would probably care a little bit if 50% of my coworkers were blaq. In terms of the politics in a govt job, I wouldnt know how to handle it. Do I outwork the blaqs? Do I try to get my work to blend in with the quality of the blaqs? dont want to be the uptight white boy rocking the boat and showing everyone up.

there was one sort of semi cute white woman there. maybe about 25, cute in that plain sort of way. I should have asked her out on a date right there but I was caught off guard, was not expecting this. Also I saw a ring on her left hand but it looked like a pretty cheap ring. also do wedding/engagement rings go on the left hand?

but yeah. cute in that plain jane way that I like. white n nerdy hahahaha. but not in that IM SUCH A NERD DORK LOL. like i say i was not expecting this at all. she was not super young but not super old. and not super hawt. so, she MIGHT possibly be in my league in other words. and she was not fat. not Ripped but def not fat. so, the perfect gurl for me hahahaha.

anyway I talked to this guy for about 10 minutes. I was nervous and stupid and tried to answer the questions but my GOD I do HORRIBLY at interviews. Gave him a 1 page resume, list of 4 references, 1 rec letter. got his actual email address and sent him a thank you message attaching those things and ANOTHER letter of rec. looked up his name and saw that he made 79k a year as a Postmaster in a nice white city. horry sheet. but he was really nice and put me at ease a little.  did not bust my balls whatsoever, no tough questions really, shit they just had to move through 20 pieces of meat out there hahahaha.

the people (candidates) were generally better dressed than I expected. plenty of the young men were wearing ties and suit coats. then I forget that blaqs usually like to get dressed up nice in their sunday best, and are often Sharp Dressers. Whereas Low-Confidence Whites like me wear shabby old suit coats that dont match the pants hahahaha. blacks do not dress like ghetto thugs all the time hahaha.

anyway that woman was not super cute, not as good looking as That Woman, quite a bit Mousier. but when I first met That Woman I thought she looked kind of Mousey too. and did not recognize her striking beauty hahaha. All I saw was the weird things about her face and body. like her weird chin, her bulging eyes, wrinkly crows feet, big nose, cheap shoes, acne prone skin, hahaha. then later I came to love all these things. I liked her imperfections and weirdness and wouldnt change a thing about her physically. all the things i thought were neutral or had no opinion on or thought would make getting physical with her WEIRD, I eventually enjoyed these things. wanted to make out with her pimply horseface hahahaha.

yeah i mean i WILL get over this, it just WILL take a VERY long time. when your heart is broken, it takes a long time to heal. when theres a HUGE void in your life, it takes a LONG time to heal. at LEAST a year. PROBABLY MORE.

so anyway you can survive through that year, do it. eating, drinking, smoking, benzos, MJ, pain pills, sleeping, nyquil. for a full fookin year. heck develop a drug habit, that will give you a more important thing to worry about than a broken heart hahahaha.

just try not to become a huge fatass. well i guess if you do, you can still lose weight “quickly” by starving yourself hahaha.

i have hit such a huge plateau on losing weight. I have lost 19-20 pounds and cant seem to lose any more. so stupid. I would like to lose 10 more pounds at least.

chronic pain is the easiest excuse for medical MJ. just say you have had chronic pain in your back the past few months.

getting in habit of taking nyquil every 2 days now. great. i would MUCH rather be sm0king w33d.

may 17

jeez get call about county job interview for the other county over. technically the richer better county. but its definitely got some shitty areas too hahahah. yuge income disparity there. dont even remember applying for this job. turns out it is PROBABLY from a pool i applied to in october. finally getting a call in MAY. horry sheet.

water department. well if it is taking calls all day from people bitching about their water bills and me saying i dunno, it is what it is, uhhhh supervisor is not available. then…..that would suck. also what would it pay compared to post office. post office actually pays pretty good.

but yeah I was blindsided by the county hahaha. i got a call at 920 am and was half asleep and thought i dont even remember applying for this, what job is this again?

so go do that bullshit on thursday, 2 days from now. cant wait till MJ is legal hahahaha. yeah its degenerate but i can make excuses for myself to use it. as long as you are not part of the degen stoner community, thats a good move. and I surely am not.

was thinking about the music of nile again, and how it is just confusing riff after confusing riff, and it reminded me of my job and my jumbled confused mind. just one thing after the other that you did not understand, pummeling you into submission. however nile is be much more fun and enjoyable. but just the sense of “i have no idea whats going on here, this is too much, too fast, too confusing.”

was out running errands and I saw a super qt 18 year old gurl with a kinda scumbag looking white guy with a neck tattoo. well at least he was white.

later I saw like a 16 or 17 year old white high school girl with her black boifran and his other black friend. one of those white trash high school gurls that prefers hanging out with the Blacks even from that young age. there is no hope for something like that. she’s not rebelling against anything, rather she probably had a horrible childhood and has no father to rebel against. totally lost cause. very sad.

the high school down the street has a reputation for having a bad Painkiller/Heroin problem, hahaha. imagine that. 17 year old high school qt’s getting strung out on heron and then having 3 ways with some lucky scumbag who can supply them with pain pills. banging 17 year old gurls up the ass hahahahaha. i mean 18 year old. plenty of white gurls too.

when i was in high school, painkillers were not NEARLY as big of a thing. also, we had “ecstasy” instead of Molly. I never tried any of that stuff. the ecstasy and molly I mean. I dabbled with some painkillers and luved it hahaha. keep me away from those. high potential for addiction hahaha.

does it give women confidence to know they are attractive to men, even somewhat similarly to how being attractive to women gives MEN confidence? i imagine it gives them at least a LITTLE confidence. maybe not as much because they dont need to DO anything, it isnt as much of a struggle, and it’s always there, so they learn to take it for granted, cuz its EASY to  find a supply of guys to fook, date, cuddle. but for omega males, its hard to find women who will even HANG OUT with you or cuddle with you.

so cuddling, dating, secs are much more VALUABLE to men than to women, because women can get it CHEAP. men have to pay 900000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000 dollars for a HUG from a 7/10 hahaha.

also I can verify that when you have zero female friends, you feel a lot more pathetic and weird than when you have one or more female friends. even if you are not Dating or Fooking them. something like it proves to yourself that you are Not So Weird that you just cant get along with Women At All.

come on just put me in the FRIENDZONE! Friendzone would have been 9999999 times better than this! because when they friendzone you, they make an effort to be nice about it, saying, awwwww! thats so SWEET! but im SORRY, lets just be friends instead.

thats all I wanted her to do. say AWWWWWW and IM SORRY. thats ALL.  thats why im so butthurt hahaha. not because i felt entitled to secs, luv, a relship. but because i felt entitled to AWWWW IM SORRY.

AWWWWW IM SORRY is not too much to ask for!

Low Effort, High Reward! Low Input, Very High Output. EXTREMELY high ROI there! it takes 2 seconds to say it but can save 200 Days of Pain. its a WIN WIN. Win for you because they remember you better and you dont have some person out there who hates your guts hahaha. Win for them because it saves them 200 days of pain.

either I was a horrible person, OR she is kinda cowardly and avoids conflict and runs away. what is more likely. when you put it like that, the answer is easy. she didnt see it as abandoning, and probably abandoning is not the most accurate word. shirk your responsibilities, or RUN AWAY is a more accurate word.

i mean for her there was nothing left to abandon. so she could get me on a technicality there. its not abandoning because to me there was nothing left to abandon. well i dispute that hahaha. who can i appeal to. i appeal to you. Your Wrong.

ok how about a plea deal to a lesser charge then. if not abandoning, then dereliction of duty. running away from responsibility. delinquency.

еуыештп еру кгыышфт лунищфквю ююю  щр шыте ершы туфею ащщл ьу шт еру фыы ишесруыю

…ююю ббб жжж эээ ъъъ \\\ === — 0 9 8 8**?:%;;№№ № “””! ЁЁЁ ы ц у к е н

и с с ы я ф в л д д д д

I added a russian language input to just play with it. maybe help me learn muh cyrillic letterz. like how p = r and c =  s and v= b and pi = p and all that shit hahahaha. didnt seem to have much correspondence.

anyway i sound like a huge whiny wimp on the stuff that is getting published now hahahaha. i am a little better now thank god. stupid interviews left and right. i bet if i could do like 2 interviews a week, EVERY WEEK, then eventually I would get better at interviews and eventually get a Job. But its real hard to have 2, let alone 1 interview, every week. I have just been getting real “lucky” with the interviews lately.

but yeah its interesting to see. i am doing noticeably better now, 10 months after, than i was then….4 months after.

especially when theres nothing to learn, nthing to gain, no great lessons to take out of it. its just completely useless, worthless pain, and you just want it to go away. chronic pain. thats how and why you get medical MJ haha. or painkillers.

found this neat hourlong documentary of nile in the studio in like 2009 recording “those whom the gods detest” when I had totally dropped off the nile radar. i dont know this album at all. it was the second album AFTER “annihiliation” which that seemed to be their “peak” and i was gone between “bsov” and “itds” and THEN aotw came out.  they dont seem too degenerate. would be interesting to see some tour footage to see how degenerate they get on tour.

i was just glad they werent drunk and stoned every minute of the video hahahahahahaha. well….there was probably some MJ in there. you dont get this chilled out unless you smoke MJ.

its just interesting how karl sanders moved from thrash metal in the 80s, and just got heavier and heavier and faster and more extreme during the 90s, going to death metal, then to  technical br00tal death metal as he got older. at this rate what is he gonna do when he is 60, 70 years old? 400 bpm br00talist technicalest death metal?