dec 25 2016

merry xmassssssssssssss

hehehe i like this brand new tradition i just started where i give xmas donations to decent people. paypal or bitcoin. gave donaations today to fatherland podcast, counter-currents aka grindr greggy, NPI aka richard spencer, daily stormer aka andre, smaller dnation to good morning huhwhyte america with adam and mary. i only listened to 1 episode but i know they are great people, adam appeared several times on fatherland, and GMWA is a beautiful family-oriented husbando and waifu pro-white podcast, which is comfy AF and just good stuff. also very pro-christ hahahaha.

also gave small dnation to GEORGE FEELS and hope he reads my message talking about using small amounts of medical MJ to help with his despair, doing a skype talk one day, using myfitnesspal to count calories and lose weight, and to look moar into the alt-right. really should have given him moar than 5 dollars, but hey he works 30 hours a week hahahahahaha. more than i do!!!!!!

have now dnated 190 dollars to alt-right causes in my life hahahaha. 45 dollars was in bitcoin hahahaha.

heres the message i sent to GEORGE FEELS:

Merry Christmas George! Just found your channel this year and I can relate. Don’t listen to the haters in your comments! But I would respectfully recommend 2 things: 1. do an in-depth experimentation with the legal MJ in your state and make a series of videos fully describing your experience. I suspect that MJ, at the right dosage, can alleviate despair somewhat. 2. MyFitnessPal is a GREAT tool for measuring calories in one’s diet and exercise. It helped me lose a ton of weight fairly quickly. The main thing was that I was simply eating WAY more than I really needed! See the actual numbers helped me discipline my raging appetite haha. You should also check out more Alt-Right stuff like The Right Stuff forums, great positive group of people that can help you feel good about your legacy as a Huhwhyte Man. One day I would ideally like to have a Skype talk with you, but maybe in 2018 haha. Maybe think about recording skype talks with other like minded people. (NOT the hecklers in your comments!!!!) Take care and next time you feel like sipping the Fermented Joo, please try a SMALL dose of The Herbal Joo instead, hahaha. Best wishes to you and your family! Also, are there any young fresh off the boat Ukrainian girls arriving in your area? You could potentially show them around, hahahaha. Take care buddy.

hehehehe. arent I SO NICE???!?!?!?!

I wouldnt send him any money if he were not HUHWHYTE.

There’s a chance he could be a JQ because a lot of JQ’s came from Da Ukraine, I’ve met some IRL. But pretty sure he said something about his family being somewhat christian. of COURSHE j’s can convert to christian, and i don’t like that, but…..gonna give him the benefit of the doubt. i guess there’s a chance he might have uzbek or kyrgyz in him. also gonna give him benefit of doubt. he looks more than 50% huhwhyte. despite the brown hair and brown eyes hahahaha. if he reveals he is not huhwhyte, i will not give him anything next year hahahaha.

if he is 25% jooish and 75% huhwhyte, i would also give him the benefit of the doubt. i am remarkably generous towards quadroons who choose to identify with their huhwhyte side.

played some poker on xmas eve and had a remarkably good day. doubled from 4 to 8 basically after 3 or 4 good hands. PRAISE GOD.

hahahaha i had the first and so far only xmas day dnation to andre anglin hehehehe YOURE WELCOME. he cashed it out within 30 minutes. which is smart, considering the VOLATILITY of btc, and that its own a downswing right now. ENJOY your 6.16 USD goy hahahaha. buy fookin 6 shitburgers on christs bday. how cheap and JQ am I?????!?!?!?!?!?!?

and not many people are dnating to good morning white america at all.

that feel when you are watching the travel channel and you see a jooish gurl you used to go to jooniversity with, and now she is a phd scientist commenting as an expert for TV shows hahahahaha. then you look the tv clip and confirm it is actually the person. she is about your age. well it doesnt say PHD after her name, but she is probably a PHD hahahahahahaha.

well i didnt really hate the gurl. she was a little autistic and weird and jooish, and i knew her because she was dating an acquaintance of mine who was super weird and super autistic and rather jooish hahahaha. this was like 11 years ago. yeah she looks older of course, but it still looked so much like this woman, i had to do some internet research. confirmed it is indeed her. well good for her, i never really hated her. well, other than i was suspect that she didnt give my jooish male acquaintance a fair enough chance. he could not have been easy to date though, he was confirmed super autistic. and they dated for pretty much a long time.

see, i used to be friendly and social with Literal Joos!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

and i would give them both a pass to get out of the oven hahahaha. i wouldnt have a problem with them going to israhell tho hahahahaha.

not gonna donate any money to THEM, they are jooish professionals making like 60 grand a year each hahahaha. at least.

but yeah they werent individually wrecking nations and genociding whites and promoting degeneracy. they were pretty neurotic joos tho!

where do you get off being a BLUE EYED JOO? I just dont get or like that. I mean this gurl was not an ugly ratfaced joo. now i’m wondering, was she even really a joo? I thought she WAS, but yeah, nonugly, blue eyes, you start to wonder. maybe only half JQ?

she wasnt a horrible person though. i would spare her the oven. and him. i liked him better hahahahaha.

just an unexpected thing to see on tv on christmas while watching travel channel with the fam.

i actually sent an EMAIL to george feels because after d’nating to him, I had a concern that concerns him. not going to talk about it here, but we’ll see if he emails me back. used muh new alt right email hahahaha. maybe he will be too intimidated. i tried not to be too intimidating, overwhleming, or pushy, or overbearing.

super JQ tv station vice showed terminator 1 last night, which is a great movie, and my god was linda hamilton not bad looking when she was 24 years old. horry sheet. unfort she shows her bare bosoms like a jooish wh0re. but its a very white knighting sentimental true luv secs scene. i still dont think they should have made her show her milkers though. show true luvsecs without any nudity. other than that the movie is good and not very jooish at all. but yeah my god was she a qt in 1984. in the healthy non-woman-hating man, this will kindle a natural white knight urge. in the mgtow woman-hater, it will kindle nothing, it will make you say, fook you, i’m not gonna white knight for some damn skank, thats how they GET you.  hahahahahahaha. hell no im not gonna fall for this TEMPTRESS’S TRICKS!!!!!!!!

rather you identify with kyle reese and say yes i am going to protect this woman. i mean thats what you SHOULD do.

not resist your NATURAL urge to white knight because bitches be bitches taking advantage of this urge to get gibs! which they DO….but not all women hahahahahahahahahaha.

hmm. i mean if women were damn crafty parasites looking to scam as much gibs as possible…..they would be approaching me and trying to scam ME, thinking, what can i use this poor neet omega virgin for? but that literally NEVER happens!!!!!!!

maybe im just not good enough to even be scammed hahahahahahahahaha.  i mean ….

well i DO have resources that can be scammed!



i guess im not considered the LOW HANGING FRUIT because i am invisible and im literally NOT advertising that i have a lot of resources to easily scam. like, they’d actually have to WORK to scam me. and yeah, they WOULD. I mean I actually VET people. EXTREME VETTING. I vetted HER too. and she passed the vetting! I still wont retroactively flunk her there! because what she did was simple cowardice, not really a 180 of character, even though it FELT like it at the time, because it was SOOOOO painful.

like they say, never attribute to malice what can be explained by ignorance. or cowardice. or laziness. she was ignorant and lazy and especially cowardly, but i really dont think she was EVIL.

not gonna donate any money to HER though hahahahaha. she doesnt do anything to strengthen our huhwhyte race hehehehehe. refuses to have anything to do with me.

they say you are over someone when you just don’t care if they are with someone else. well i guess im not there yet but i guess i am kinda close. i mean i dont want to know that she is with someone else! i just dont want to hear about her EVER AGAIN.

well yeah in a way i always care. because im like b1tch, you coulda been WITH ME. damn. i just dont want to hear ANYTHING about them EVER again, unless they want to be with me.

hmm hope paypal didnt shut down my account because im not using my real name. using my alt right name, just opened this account a few weeks ago, to start sending donations under a fake name. tried to send one to TRS and it wouldnt let. either me or TRS has the prob. i would think they would have more of a problem with TRS. “h8” group receiving thousands of shekels. rather than me donating like 20 dollars to various people.


hahahahahahahahaha SO GENEROUS!!!! SO HUMBLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

this is how i stroke muh ego and muh conscience. i mean i am totally getting something out of it too. a lot. lets not pretend to be SELFLESS about it! the satisfaction is really THAT strong. it’s almost unfair to THEM. i get WAY more Satisfaction out of donating 5 dollars than they get by GETTING 5 dollars!!!!!

but some people wont donate to george because they feel his current videos arent really doing anything. i disagree. and i give him a LITTLE money just as a good faith thing, to put my money where my mouth is, and maybe he will take my advice more seriously. I really WOULD like to see him try some MJ, make videos about it, and i think myfitnesspal really COULD help him lose weight.

as far as getting women, i don’t even know. i’m almost as much a foreveralone virgin as him.

and i also think becoming more racially aware and alt right could help him the same way it helped me.

so i give him this advice and give him a cash tip to show I’m serious hehehe. i mean i dont think he is getting TONS of donations. i bet he gets BARELY ANY. so when somebody donates ANYTHING, he’s likely to LISTEN to them.

i mean shit. he makes more money than I do. probably TWICE as much money as me. ANd I’m donating to HIM?

want to donate ME money? send bitcoin to


please hahahahhahahahahahahaha.

uhhhh i dont want to give any of my paypals, i’d have to set up a third paypal for this blog, becuase i don’t want to blatantly confirm my alt right WN identity on this blog, though you can probably figure it out, and thats not even a huge deal to me. i just dont want to make it EXPLICIT, exactly because I don’t want to brag about being a neet loser basically. and being a neet loser undermines my credibility as a WN.

it doesn’t go both ways, me saying I Am A WN on this blog doesn’t undermine my credibility as a NEET……because as I neet, I by definition HAVE no credibility!!!!!!!

Neets are more Punished and Shamed than WN’s! Neets are more hated than White Racists!!!!!!!!!

heh. good thing i have both bases covered.

funny how we can see linda hamilton go from being 24 year old beautiful waifu qt, to being like 57 years old in 2016. An Old Menopausal Infertile Withered Old Hag. She’s prob not obese though. could be tho. I heard Shelley Duvall is now obese.

i am not even gonna look up 2016 photos of either of these women. even by T2 in 1996, linda hamilton had certainly lost a lot of her youthful beauty. it’s a direct function of youth!!!!!!! and that was TWENTY fookin current years ago!!!!!

have invested about 130 dollars GAMBLING since i started gambling at the bitcoin poker room in early 2014. almost 3 years. 130 dollars.  43 dollars a year. thats not horrible. i have seen people blow through like 500 dollars in 2 hours at the real casino. HORRIBLE.

dont know what else to say about that!

but i tell you what, i wouldnt mind to have the privilege to go down the street and buy some dank MJ like George Feels can hahahaha. its really weird how he doesnt really mention it. I’m sure he prob mentioned it for 1 minute, or maybe 1 comment, probably something like “i’m not interested in it” or “i tried it once and didnt like it.” but i think he should at least do a full video on it, and he hasn’t done that. he’s mentioned alcohol blatantly in the title of several videos!

and i think MJ would do him better than alcohol.

not saying he should smoke an oz a day, or get so blazed he has a panic attack. which is a very real possibility for many people, including myself, and the THOUSANDS of people who go to EMERGENCY ROOMS in colorado now that mj is legal, and people get SUPER blazed, have a panic attack, think they’re dying or having a heart attack. i’ve BEEN there, DONE that. it HAPPENS, don’t DENY it, you damn degen stoners. anyway, just saying he should take one puff, get a little blazed. better than getting drunk thats for sure.

it just seems WEIRD that a person who lives in a state with LEGAL MJ would not even TRY MJ and make a big obvious statement on it. while others of us daydream about taking a trip to colorado and smokin tons of legal MJ hahahahahahaha. i mean i might just do it. and visit george while i am there. convince him to sm0ke with me hahahahahahahaha. be like try this maaaaannnn, your life isnt getting any better, you arent getting any younger. hahahaha.

wow looks like george michael dead is NOT a hoax. died on xmas. today. kinda ironic because of his huge hit xmas song. last xmas by WHAM! of course. age 53. nothing saying cause of death. i dont think he had GRIDS tbh. maybe drugs then.

one simply does not pass away peacefully at home at age 53. coulda been cancer. that sucks worse than GRIDS. dying of cancer at 53. sheeeeeeeeit.

i mean yeah he was a gay degenerate but so many Famous People died this year. and really, george michael is not as significant as leonard cohen, david bowie, or prince. but you see what i mean. and cohen was the only one that was really OLD and dying at what i would say is a natural age.

yeah well not even degenerates deserve to die on christmas day at age 53. he had a greek name, not sure how white he was. i guess he was a greek cypriot. cypriot greek. i mean its borderline fam. the ancient greeks were absolutely huhwhyte i know. but modern greek cypriots?????? i mean the man was swarthy af. he had the thickest beard I have ever seen. he was pretty handsome tho. but degenerate. he didnt HAVE to be so degenerate.

sheeeeit i wish i had been born in like 1996. kids these days dont WANT to do drugs, they dont WANT negro secs, they WANT to be alt right traditionalists!!!!!! this new generation is interested in the old morality! and NOT in being degenerates, like my older generation was/is!!!! we were all like, yeah lets get FOOKED UP because getting FOOKED UP is FUN and FEELS GOOD and IF IT FEELS GOOD, DO IT!!!!! nothing was sacred, absolutely nothing. all women were dirty sluts. the only pleasure in this world was to get fooked up on alcohol and drugs, cuz everything else sucks.  beat off to porn, go to strip clubs, maybe bang some sluts at best.

young kids these days are rejecting this garbage, AS THEY SHOULD.

so yeah i have a lot of hope and optimism in the young kids of today, in other words. like the kids who are 16 to 20 right now, in 2016. but people who are 26 or older? fook no. they’re finished. beyond redemption.

hey i WANT to be redeemed. I am done with being a degen. HOWEVER I still want to sm0ke MJ. I’m not WILLING to give that up entirely. i want a PASS on that one. i AM willing to keep it a SECRET from the alt right hahahahaha because i totally udnerstand why they don’t like it. i wouldnt want my kids doing it. more than once a year hahahahaha.

i just need it for medicine because i am irreparably broken hahahahahaha.

i know its shameful and i dont have a problem keeping it in the closet!!!!!

but as long as i dont have it i will continue to talk about it hehehehehehe.

also i would only talk about it in the “CLOSET” of muh neet blog, and NEVER in the out of the closet on my alt right blog, which I don’t really have. I guess muh neet blog would be it!

i mean its gonna happen in the next 10 years. each state is falling one by one to the legal MJ train. and you cant just have a country where half the states have it and half dont. each of those states will EVENTUALLY vote in legal MJ. its INEVITABLE. and i am happy about that. just impatient.

well…..SHOULD i be so happy? because i can agree MJ isnt a generally GOOD thing. i just want to be the exception. so why should i want a society that encourages it? i shouldnt!!!!!!

could it be legal AND socially shamed? fook no. come on. look at alcohol and porn. those are tolerated and celebrated!!!!!! if you are an alcoholic yeah thats kinda shameful, but in every town there are bars full of people celebrating alcohol and getting drunk.




july 9

i have downloaded like 10 videos to listen to. this guy seems like a Kindred Spirit and might even make it to the sidebar links. he also has varg v and weev in his liked videos, which means he might be a bad goy hehehehe. a 1433 bad goy with foreveralone nevergf forevervirgin feels. dont quote me on the 1433. but if he’s not, that might help him. i know it helped ME.

he is one of those guys that talks SO SLOW, probably because he is a horribly depressed virgin for many years! but he also drinks and looks at pron, which is bad. but i think he is quitting pron, which is great. he is currently on like day 60 of “nofap” and apparently that may be helping.

does he go to a shrink?

does he take meds?

does he take MJ?

he definitely likes to drink and eat.

look forward to investigating this fellow lost soul.

he DOES have a job and is gainfully employed, but it also sucks everything out of him and does not help his confidence heheheh.

i havent even watched these, so viewer beware, they might suck. but I think he is definitely worth a few links hahahaha

but yeah its funny how you can just TELL. from the way people LOOK and TALK. that this person is a self loathing virgin. or this person is a woman hater. im not sure if he’s a woman hater, just saying that’s something you can TELL. I know a few guys and you can just tell. i mean it is a bitterness against All or Nearly All women just barely under the surface, of viewing women as stupid and bad. I mean I have the same thing too, so I’m not judging them. I know that feel! I’m a woman-hater myself! I’m just aware of the TELLS, and make a conscious effort to HIDE them, so that people don’t even guess I’m a woman-hater. I am good at not letting the mask slip.

but yeah i dont hate or judge woman haters, how could I , I’m one myself!

I would LOVE not to hate women, but god damn, they just give us so many reasons to hate them hahahaha.

Oh well, i guess the best we can go is hate the sin, love the sinner. but why do they have to sin so god damn much, i mean they NEVER LEARN, they NEVER improve, they get worse and worse.

heh heh

like i say, i will have to listen to this guy then report back. i like to think i am very sympathetic hahaha. how will this guy compare to eggy / egg man, a similar lost soul. i mean these are not neets because they are working, but they are clearing Crying Out for help, they are in SUCH a sad state of despair.

just take some damn meds and sm0ke some damn weed already hahaaha.

how much does “george feels” drink? a little or a LOT. like getting drunk almost every day? or just a few drinks after a long horrible day at work. 3 drinks? or 6, 10 drinks.

but yeah a man CARRIES himself a certain way when he hasn’t made out (or more) with a woman in years, and men who DO have semi-regularly physical and emotional connection wtih women, also carry themself a certain way – a more confident, normie way. they seem less weird. this guy george seems totally WEIRD. as do I, hahahha.

well i guess the nofap is good for him. i would say the porn is 6000000000 times worse than the fap hehehe.

also quit the drinking and switch to weed hahahahaha.

get some damn meds.

get a short buzz haircut, that always gives me a slight confidence boost.

lose some weight hehehehe. not that he’s super fat, but being even slightly overweight is gonna be more damaging to him than to a confident normie chad, who has the personality to get away with being slightly overweight.

in one video he shows a programming in C book, is he a programmer for work? well he should thank his lucky stars to have a real skill and to make real bigboy money hahahahaha.

he lives in fookin denver! why isnt he smokng POUNDS of legal weed hahahahaha.

job opening at one of muh target employers, i almost shit muh pants when I saw it, because it actually generated an email alert. maybe newly posted fulltime jobs here do go onto indeed. good. then i will get email alerts. but they NEVERRRRR post openings for this job. I have NEVERRRR seen such a posting in like EIGHT YEARS. i immediately marked it AAAAAAA+++++++ APPLY NOW. its not every day a job shoots to the top of the list blatnatly like this.  so i will take a little extra care and apply for that today. maybe name drop in the cover letter. cuz i sorta knew 2 guys in the department 3 years ago hahahaha. like know them to chit chat with them and know their names, say hi to them and chit chat. good enough. well the one guy is a truly good guy. i would luv it if he were still there. he is a great guy and mancrushworthy. super friendly and nice and great people person hahaha. he is married and has at least one kid but he needs to have at least 3, just a great white man like that. i got along with him real well. but he gets along with everybody well, he’s just good with people like that.

i GET IT that men HAVE to bring a lot more to the table than women have to. it took me a while to understand that and accept it and not get assmad about it. ok. fine. done.

but can’t women bring SOMETHING to the table other than their befouled cvnt that they have disgraced and degraded so much?

like i have said before, can’t they even make a LITTLE EFFORT? even just 1% instead of 0% would mean a lot, symbolically at least. to be the LEAST BIT willing.

also i think guys like george mcfeels and eggman who post their pathetic white faces on youtube, it takes some balls to do that and I think they are more willing to Improve themselves than the neets on r9k, where its 100% self pity which i why I took r9k off the sidebar.

yeah well NOT ALL WOMEN ARE LIKE THAT hahahaha. SOME women WERE willing and indeed DID give me 1% of effort and kindness when they dumped me! so there! Refuted! Rebutted!

I just wanted to be DUMPED BETTER. I was begging to be dumped better. I said I accept that you’re dumping me. fine. just pleeeeeeease do it BETTER.  i didnt say don’t dump me. well….i said i would be open to not being dumped too hahahahahahahahahahahahaha but i will respect (stupid word, you can ACCEPT without RESPECTING) your decision, just do it a little better. you can do better than that. can’t you? it’s not just a woman thing, OTHER WOMEN have done better than that to ME.

also george feels should just use alcohol to bang some disgusting slut. i think he talks to women and meets women more often than I do. also he still drinks. so find some drunk whore and bang her already. if i still drank i would probably try that.

thing was, i couldnt even talk to women WHEN DRUNK. I went straight from too nervous and weird, to being sloppy falling down drunk and couldnt talk to ANYBODY. and that is not gonna help you with women unless THEY are falling down drunk.

anyway after 3 or 4 or 5 drinks, yeah i would be generally a bit loosened up but still not loosened up around Women. so then of course have another. and other. until you are 10+ drinks and then sloppy and embarrassing. thats the problem with alcohol hahahahahaha. that you get TOO sloppy to talk to women. not that you are ruining your life with being a damn disgraceful drunk hahahaha.

do i have more of a sense of humor than george mcfeels?

am i funnier than him?

more likeable?

why am I trying to BEAT him? well, i dont, i just want to prove to myself that i am not as hopeless as him hehahaha. because i am absolutely in that same ballpark, that i CAN truly Empathize with him. put myself in his place, cuz i’ve been there.

i mean he’s survived at Work for 2 years without having a nervous breakdown and quitting….right? and what if i’m wrong?

but yeah i would totally casually bang sluts with no rel. i dont WANT a rel with any women but HER. I WILL bang women with no committment, no luv. i will treat them in the casual way they are offering their pvssy up to be pounded by the most convenient dick. who cares. as long as i am not with her, nothing matters hahaha. well women at least. just pound the pvssy like a nihilist hedonist degenerate. thats fine and i am willing to do that if it helps me get more distance between me and HER, and gives me more confidence with women, and makes me less needy for women, or at least needy for HER.

so, if alcohol isnt gonna help you with women, i would say at least TRY using MJ as a tool to get sluts and skanks and white trash mudshark whores to give you casual secs. be like ayyy bae u wanna get h1gh ayyyyyy lets blaze it babay and then supply them with the expensive dank buds you have procured hahaha and then maybe they will throw themselves at you after they get st0ned hehehehe. of course good luck not acting WEIRD. so I would recommend that YOU not smoke so much at that time, and also take some benzos to chill you out. then just sit back like an ignra and say wahatever i dont care and give them an i dont care mentality. then you might be able to get dirty secs from dirty sluts who give it up to ANYBODY except for omega weirdo virgins who dont know how to talk 2 gurls hahaha.

so who are MEN supposed to go to for emotional support when THEY feel weak? you cant ask your wife or gf to do that, women are programmed naturally to LEAVE men who are emotionally needy like that. you have to support THEM.  give give give give give but god forbid you ever need someone to give to YOU.

really the best person a MAN can go to if he needs support like that, is his friends or family. really aint no shame for a 35 year old man to run crying to his mother, if he has that privilege.

or i heard a story about a 34 year old man with 2 young children, who himself had a cancerous lump in the testicle or something and he was understandably scared as shit, very emotional, crying, but he had to be careful not to cry in front of his wife and children, because god forbid the big strong man (he is a very big guy) looks weak in front of his wife and kids because he just found out he has CANCER. JESUS CHRIST.

i would be running crying like a baby to my mother and my bitch wife could LEAVE me if she wanted. leave you in the LURCH when you just got diagnosed with CANCER. JUST LIKE A WOMAN hahahahaha. ALL WOMEN ARE LIKE THAT. you can’t get assmad at it. NATURE programmed them that way. GOD programmed them that way. for a reason. for the reason that they are the Creators of New Life. so they can get away with being mercenaries for Strong Men, and leaving weak men with Cancer in the LURCH.

anyway. george mcfeels needs to cut his hair short and trim his beard short. the only way you can rock a long beard or long hair is if you have very strong confidence. if you don’t, it will just make you feel like more of a weirdo. believe me.

also delete any porn vidyas, AND porn pcitures, AND porn bookmarks. get rid of EVERYTHING on your computer and phone and whatever thats porn related whatsoever.

i am SO glad I did that. for a long time i had vowed against saving any files to the computer. that was one step forward, but i still saved bookmarks.

then one day i said fook this filth and deleted all the bookmarks. searched mercilessly for any and all bookmarks and baleeted them. this is what george mcfeels must do.

should he quit drinking? probably. but maybe it does give him some solace. shit sometimes I want to start drinking again! but then I think I’d much rather smoke weed hahahahaha. and also i can’t just drink alcohol. I just think about the shame of getting a damn DUI, shame for myself and family, then the thousands of dollars of fees, the god damn piss tests every week, i just never want to go through that again. the punishment was an effective deterrent in other words.

plus the 2 DUI club is alot different than the 1 DUI club. 3rd DUI is a felony and that is some bad shit. but there is a statute of limitations that is somewhat less than 10 years hehehehe.  doesnt mean the DUI’s go off your RECORD, just that you could get a 3rd DUI and have it not be a felony if its 10 years after the first hehehe.

if I were not an asshole who frequently drank and drove, and just sat and drank at home, well maybe I WOULD still be drinking. If I never got a DUI. but I was always driving after drinking. shit yeah that was stupid and downright EVIL.  that you think youre so much BETTER than everyone, that YOU can get away with this.  I really SHOULD have gotten busted a LOT earlier!

like oh ive driven with a Buzz hundreds of times, I’m pretty GOOD at it!


so yeah I am not worried about drinking again. I would do just about any drug rather than drink alcohol again. I would do HERON before alcohol hahahaha.

but mainly i just wanna smoke weed, but i have trouble getting it because i am an autistic lonely loner, also there’s nothing more shameful than smoking weed when you dont have a JOB hahahahaha.

i just wanna get a job fast so I can start smoking weed again SOON hahaha.

well i would also need to find a Source hehehe.

but i could and should ax this guy I see every week.


easier said than done. credit for that goes to some guy on a recent fatherland episode. I dont think it was jim or bradan, but either otto, salty seaman, or heidrich.

all good guys. even jim hahahahahahaha but jim is autistic as FOOK, i am amazed he is not a 37 year old VIRGIN hehehehe. but if he can get married and have a kid, so can ANYONE. not that he’s a bad guy and deserves a shitty wife. he’s a good guy and deserves a good wife. he’s just SO autistic and women have a REALLY hard time with the tism unfortunately. social awkwardness in general. hehehe maybe his basedwife is really UGLY hehehehehe. no i dont KNOW that.

i listened to foreveralonefeels for about 90 minutes. yeah he sounds tired and despairing but he has more of a sense of humor than i expected and was more likeable than i expected! he was not as bad as i expected! he has worked the same job for 10 years. i wanted him to talk more about that. he is 30 almost 31 now and i guess worked at the public library from age 20 onwards. which is great. i luv the library and would LUV to get a job at the liberry. I have ALERTS to email me the second there is a liberry job available because it is my kind of place.

but there is like 1 part time shelver job that opens per year in the whole state, paying 8.50 an hour for 20 hours a week hahaahaha.

shit all the liberrian jobs are part time and you need a MASTERZ degree for that. believe me i thought that might be a good masterz for me to get. but there are no liberrian jobs out there. i mean it is a SHITTY job market. SO shitty. not worth the 50 grand of getting the masterz degree. unless you are in the top 1% of your class. are you prepared to do that? be in the top 1-5%???? you better be, or you just wasted 50 grand at LEAST.

so….he doesnt give the details I think are really important. what job was he hired into? how many hours per week? job title? how much ya make? did you get ANY PROMOTIONS in TEN YEARS? you SHOULD get TWO promotions in that time at least.

so you live with your fam because you feel a sense of responsibility towards them and appreciate all they did raising you. i understand that completely. BUT do you really make enough MONEY to move out? how much money do you make now?

and I would understand if he doesnt want to say.

i guess his father is looking for a job and has been out of work a while and he goes on interviews and says the interviews go well…..and then he never hears back hehehe. kinda sounds like me. except my interviews dont go “REALLY WELL”, they just go ok. but you feel damn, they dont want to hire an OLD person who has been out of work for a LONG time. you have a STENCH about you.

i would have liked george to take more of that angle.

but he’s a pretty good guy, i would hang out with him, i was thinking about doing a Skype Talk with him ahahahahah.

took some nyquil.

anyway me and him would be good in the beta uprising. but this isnt betas. betas are normie nonvirgins with bitch wives. real neet virgins are OMEGAS hahaha.

anyway i hope he’s not a leftist atheist.

he also likes to go for walks and sometimes he tries to lose weight by going for a RUN. oh wow. good for him.

anyway i would luv to work at a liberry but its next to impossible to find a 14 dollar an hour fulltime job at a library!!! believe me, any job like that would be classified AAAAAAAA+++++++++++ and I would take an hour to make the best application ever.  how did HE get a job like that? which makes me wonder, maybe its just a mickey mouse littleboy part time 8 DAH job that he has. and thats the real reason he lives with his parents hahahahaha. cuz he makes less than 10k a year. thats not a real job!

but i dont judge that, I’ve been in similar positions. my previous job was something similar. and god how i miss it. no nervousness, no stress. but i could only get 25 hours a week and i was making like 9.75 an hour. that’s no job!!! but i loved it. I said DAMN I wish I could work at this 40 hours a week and make just a LITTLE more. like 11 or 12 bucks an hour. I would work here the REST OF MUH LIFE.

so yeah how many hours does he get, what does he make, has he ever been promoted, does he have supervisory POWER over anyone? could you imagine HIM being someone’s supervisor? itd be like ME being someones supervisor!!!!

but yeah i generally liked him and will continue listening. dont know how despairing he is, if he is taking any meds, etc.

also i have been out on “Dates” I guess with gurls. where we hung out, went to dinner, etc. but nothing like that since 2005 hahaha.

well i did hang out with one on one and go to lunch and dinner a lot of times with That Person. but they werent dates because we were not FOOKING hehehe.

its horrible how people can get so out of whack that to me, hugging or cuddling or kissing a woman is SUCH A BIG DEAL, and for some women, fooking (aka the life creation process) is NOT A BIG DEAL AT ALL.

and you feel sick when the person where you hugging them would be SUCH A BIG DEAL, that same person opens their life creator to randoms and its NO BIG DEAL AT ALL.

well I don’t have proof she is being a slut like that.

also she never really DUMPED a person before!!! I was the first major dumping of her whole life!!! she was too scared to deal with it, i can’t handle this, i can’t deal with this, so naturally you shut down, run away, and avoid dealing with it. you give up.

IVE DONE THIS BEFORE, just gave up on projects and shit. but never to a person who was calling out to me.

july 10

yeah I HAVE Just Freaked Out and Just Given Up. Ran Away. It’s EXACTLY what I did to my JOB. it’s the SAME thing she did to ME.

but not REALLY. because one thing was a JOB, the other was a PERSON. PEOPLE are (in theory, and in my opinion) more important than JOBS.

also when I quit the job I made SOME attempt to TALK to them. I didnt just walk out. I had 2 meetings with managers and tried to leave in as dignified and smooth a manner as possible. not just walking out and never coming back. NO CALL NO SHOW. she NO CALL NO SHOWED on me. on a PERSON. and

PEOPLE are more important than JOBS. in theory. cuz jobs dont have hearts that you can break.

on linkedin some comment said the real unemployment rate is not 5%, its closer to 40%, but the BLS is lying with statistics, and the journalists lying. all the employment is low paying seasonal temp part time jobs.

if you look at jobs that pay the average of 28k a year, uhhh of COURSHE the average is gonna be 50% unemployment. cuz in bell curves half of all people are below the average! average is a HIGH BAR to set!!!!!

you can’t have 95% of people get to the average! then you need to move the goalposts hahahaa. set a higher average.

really MY goal is just to be average. no more, more less. make the average american income of 28k a year.  14 dollars an hour.

no more, no less.

‘man cannot remake himself without suffering, for he is both the marble and the sculptor’

great quote from a comment on the most recent Forever Alone Feels vidya:

also some thoughts that LIFTING is about a MILLION times more effective than nofapping. will get you some easy pussy FAST. WHY ARE YOU NOT LIFTING. DO U EVEN LIFT BRO????

90 days to make something a habit. so LIFT for 90 DAYS and then you will be better. i guarantee it hehehehe.

I left him a brief comment on this vidya hahahaha. not the greatest comment. i dont think it will reach him. i agreed with a guy who recommended Fascism. Now FAF will probably be turned against Fascism, when it could help save him.

and now i cant edit it to add the shit about noporn.

oh well. i will probably give him a small dnation if i continue listening to him.

so yeah, noporn and fascism has been GREAT for me. well not great enough to get me a 14 DAH FT job or a tradwife, but i cant imagine my life without them, and i am very grateful for them.

illuminati? bilderberg group? bohemian grove? masons? come on! ITS DA J00Z, STUPID!!!!! da jooz makes SO MUCH MORE SENSE than the damn illuminati, when it comes to a Secret Society of Superpowerful Elites who Control The World.  Follow the Money to Find a bunch of superrich jooz. very simple. its not a damn CONSPIRACY. well not any deeper than one group trying to protect itself.

what kind of person lets their stupid yapping small dog outside at 4 in the morning on a sunday to bark and bark and bark so it can be heard in a 5 house radius, from 4 to 440 am? 5 minutes is one thing. FORTY minutes is another.

heh. people would PAY to make monster save more than 5 searches. so why wouldnt monster do this? PEOPLE ARE TRYING TO GIVE YOU THEIR MONEY BUT YOU WONT TAKE IT!!1!11!!

this type of nonsense infuriates me about companies. its just too expensive in the short term to do a project that would be ENORMOUSLY useful to your customers.

and in general its very difficult to work with your saved searches. you add them, then they dissapear, then they come back. you dont know if theyre there, or if they are working, and all you want is a damn email when company x posts a new job, which they post like 1 new job every 2 months at most. so you want to make sure yu dont MISS it. cause the company/org itself doesnt let you sign up for job alerts. because that would be too useful of a recruiting tool for them to find super motivated candidates hahahaha. SERIOUSLY!!!!!!

took 2.8 mile walk in bright midday sun on sunday to try to get max sun on pasty arms hehe.

i wonder if forever alone feels george is j00ish, cuz jooz are neurotic and emotional…..but they are also more successful and not usually virgins. he would have banged a jooish slut in college or joo camp or the JCC cuz joos are very clannish like that, its like one big incestuous family where you can bang your slutty 5th cousin removed hehehehe.

you can essentially arrange marriages and arrange jobs thru the wider jooish social network of the JCC. huhwhytes don’t have that, but they SHOULD. huhwhytes are more atomized and bowling alone, like FAF George. see “atomised” by houellebecq hahaha.

since george still drinks, I think he should ask one of these milfs out for DRINKS. then get them drunk and bang them. and of COURSH it will be disappointing. but at least get it over with. dont be like me. where you don’t have enough EXPERIENCE to pull actually DECENT women.

its a LOT easier to get rejected by worthless sluts, than to get rejected by DECENT women.

its the worst to get HARSHLY rejected by a decent woman.

of course, decent woman are more likely to try to be nice when they reject you…..but not all the time hahaha.

anyway i know george has never experienced that! and if he does, he will be sadder than he’s ever been!!

perhaps you should use Benzos as an Enhancer to other drugs. like I hear if you mix benzos and benedryl, you practically fall into a coma hahahahaha. no i am not encouraging this hahahaha. but benzos basically MULTIPLY whatever effect something else has. also benzos can make other things fatal. weird.

but yeah to a foreveralone, a mere HUG from a woman means SO much. when this means literally NOTHING to the normie women. they hug 6 gorillion people a day just to say hello or goodbye. it couldn’t mean LESS. so it’s two VERY, VERY, VERY different ways of experiencing the world. and secs is even worse, because women bring that same sense of casual, shallow meaninglessness to secs that they do to hugging.




that is so good. yes that will be a post title very soon.

a quote from alexis carrel, french scientist i have never heard of. I HOPE he is not a J. well, that one quote at least is pretty huhwhyte.

heh. i am glad i am not on facebook, to see white people, white women, probably even HER, doing stupid facebook signalling about how evil and oppressive white cops are and how they deserve to be shot by black animals hahahaha. apparently thats what white people are doing “omg i can even things are really heated right now, i am scared about the way things are doing, we need to stop being so DIVISIVE and just LOVE NOT HATE and step back and LISTEN to Black Voices about Black Lives and what they are TRYING to TEACH us!!!!!”

cuz she was always anti-cop. but I wonder what she is saying about this stuff. WHOSE SIDE WILL SHE TAKE? I will never know. If I knew she were taking the antiwhite side, I would have an easier time writing her off.

but ideally, I would have been a Strong Man For Her, and Guided her down the Pro-White path, as all strong pro-white men do.

But yeah I am willing to Meet Up with Other Local White Racists. the horse is out of the barn. i have no use for spineless white cowards. who wont take their own side when the shit hits the fan. if anything SHOULD wake a person, its this police violence / police killing in dallas. Dallas should wake up a ton of white people, but it’s NOT, they’re just DOUBLING DOWN on laying down and letting themselves be killed. absolutely disgusting. i mean this is race treason. don’t be a fooking race traitor. god damn. i am sure if i were on facebook i would be TRIGGERED TO THE MOON with white Shitlibs falling all over themselves apologizing and flagellating. you’re THIRTY years old, how can you still be a stupid shitlib? Haven’t you Worked in the Real World long enough after college? but for some, nothing will EVER red pill them. also these people have probably been Professionally Successful and Middle Class ever since leaving college, so they never HAVE to be redpilled or blackpilled.

and i think i had a chance at redpilling her, that she might have been open to Race Reality, but like all women, she needs a smart strong man to guide her. and maybe some other lucky white racist man will make her his aryan waifu and have white babies with her.

but who knows. maybe she became a full black lives matter anticop antiwhite race traitor mudshark. i kinda hope she DOES, as punishment for being so cold and callous to me.

i mean i basically TRUSTED her to NOT leave me in the lurch. trusted her to give it to me straight and not leave me hanging.

its okay to be an antiracist antiwhite leftist when you are 18-21 but after 25, it is absolutely inexcuseable. a leftist after age 25, i mean a white leftist, is absolutely pathetic.

nonwhites, fine, I can totally see why they would be leftists. because the left IS antiwhite.

and white cops shooting black thugs is making whites say IM SO SORRY FOR BEING WHITE. we whites are so problematic. we must mix this original sin out of us. police DESERVED what they got in dallas. they brough it on themselves, and they are also Symbolic of Systemic Racism and how Whites Oppress Blacks with White PRivilege.

so whites double down on this shit. day of the rope for these traitors. if you’re over 25 you have no excuse.

this thread overwhelmingly suggests jcpenney over “crappy” places like mens wearhouse or jos a bank if you are wanting to get a decent suit for the Frugal Man. JCPENNEY. I am getting closer and closer.

i mean the next woman i “date” will probably be some slut who i take out for drinks to get drunk and then she fooks on the first or second date and then I do that, am disappointed and disgusted, and certainly not the type of woman i’d want for the mother of muh children! but i guess i should get as many bangs out of her as possible and maybe even try to dump the woman, so i can get experience dumping a woman hahahaha.

course many sluts will have drunken secs with you once or twice, then just avoid you altogether.

avoiding is a typically womanly way of not dealing with shit. tons of women everywhere throw men away by just avoiding them cold turkey. she is certainly not the first or the last. tons of women do this. women are TERRIBLE at actually dealing with anything.

i expected this type of childish behavior from some average trashy slut……NOT HER.

i mean she was a WOMAN who i ACTUALLY GOT ALONG WITH, and DIDNT HATE hehehehehe.

ME. the worlds biggest woman-hater, actually getting along with a WOMAN, like a human being, really WELL. can you believe it? THATS why this was so SPECIAL. THATS why you cant throw it away like trash. that, and because people and relships ARENT TRASH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! DONT TREAT THEM LIKE TRASH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! when you do it can cause a LOT OF PAIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

psychic pain hahahaha. psychological damage hahahaha.

same thing with secs. yeah it can be very pleasureable (supposedly) but it also has the potential to cause a LOT OF PAIN, and also has the potential to CREATE NEW LIFE, so



this is how you have to talk to these bitches hahahaha. just totally mansplain in no uncertain terms. they NEED a man to mansplain very simple things.

yeah getting a proper suit would DEFINITELY be a good confidence booster, even moreso than getting a short haircut.

i may never have children of my own because i may never find a woman i luv who is willing to have muh babies, and yes that is sad. i mean i dont want to have babies with any white slut. well, ok i will maybe do that when I am 70 hahahaha. and i will leave a ton of videos and stuff for the children. vidyas for muh heirs haha.

but say some ugly slut falls in luv with me (hasnt happened yet, hahaha), should I just SETTLE and say this is the best im gonna get, thsi woman is WILLING to have my children, so i should do it?????

i dont WANT to have children with a woman I don’t luv the way I luved HER.

just like I dont WANT to get a masterz degree hahahahaha.

dont WANT to get a job in a call center.

I can try to support white children in other ways. like the creepy bachelor uncle who never had kids of his own haha.

besides, its very likely i’ll never make enough MONEY to take care of CHILDREN, let alone MYSELF!

so yeah feels bad man hahahaha.  no man wants to feel like half a man like that!

but yeah its a bad feel when the woman you wanted to be the mother of your children would rather suck ingra dicks than show you a shred of mercy! yeah this will take much closer to 2 years than 1 year to get over.

its already been 1 year and I can say things are WAY better! this shit youre seeing right now, THATS “WAY” better!

me whining about her in every poast and hating all women! that is actually honestly way better than it was. it really is. cuz now i am much better about applying for jobs, going to interviews, and yeah I really DO think about her a little less.

but yeah i am very cynical and hateful and nihilistic too. except for muh race and muh 14 sacred words. but i dont particularly luv white women either, other than you need them for white tradfams and white babies. but i still think they are jooed as fook, and kinda inferior. i am assmad at them. but i appeciate that they are the only ones who can make white babies, so we kinda NEED them.

women give up and run away from shit ALL THE TIME. you think I am the only person who has been dumped this way? every guy has been dumped this way, probably several times, and every woman has DONE this to a guy, probably several times.

this is how BAD women are at COMMUNICATION. they throw people away rather than communicate with them. yet they are TEXTING ALL DAY with their face in their phones. they communicate ALL DAY EXCEPT when it REALLY MATTERS, then they clam up and run away like bitches.

and my case is WORSE because we were NOT just Fooking for a few weeks after meeting on a Dating/Fooking Website. we were real friends who got along with each other very well because we had a lot in common. so yeah that makes it morally worse, and it makes the PAIN worse.

just saying hahahaha.

you shouldnt fook guys you just met. but if you offer it, dont be surprised when guys take you up on it, and dont be surprised when guys dont consider you dating material. yet STILL women will dump the guys! talk about flipping the script! and the guys are so desperate that they will consdier sluts as dating material! and then get dumped quickly after the sluts quickly offer secs!



yeah i WILL get over this which is good, but it will also naturally leave a void in muh life where she used to be, so i guess i have not felt this void since say 2012 maybe. getting over the inital shock, but now have to get used to the idea of Life Without Her. damn. not easy.

even before i got feelings for her, there was still the Benefit of Having A Friend and that meant something, that is never easy to lose. she was an Important Person to me before i got feelings!

or was she? during that time i was keep her at a distance because i was worried abotu her getting feelings for me. BUT IT WAS A FRIENDLY DISTANCE! it foreshadowed some of the communication problems because we didnt talk about those things, however i didnt avoid her either. i hung out with her, i responded to her, we had friendly talks about other things. plus i really dont think she had feelings for me, at least nowhere near as strong as the feelings i later got for her.

a FRIENDLY distance, as opposed to the completely UNFRIENDLY distance she was giving me!

great way to end things! damn!

but while we were friends she was a sweet and tender and gentle gurl, feminine in the best possible way, without being overly “girly” in the sense of stupid fashion and such. she did not dress or look like a typical MOdern girly girl but she was sweet and kind and gentle like a traditional woman was. i really appreciated that and certainly it was one of the things that eventually led me to Get Feelings.

but yeah i am not supposed to remember the Good Times too much. just shrink them down and let them disappear. remember the Bad Stuff. that is why the Rel Ended.

like her completely ignoring me and refusing to talk to me, and losing interest in me, and just Stopping Liking Me. what did i do to make you stop liking me? well i got feelings and was Annoying about wanting to hang out. the end.

but yeah i am makign some progress. but now the more long term stuff begins: getting used to life Without Her. life just seems emptier and more drab and less exciting and beautiful and fun, more gray and boring and hopeless hahaaha.

i guess she was MORE fun and exciting when i finally transitioned over and “allowed myself” to Luv her. Maybe I COULD have done that earlier if she hadnt had the long term boifran when i met her! I honestly respect the rel she had with him and wanted them to fix it. only when they ended like a year and a half later, did i start thinking in a different way: well she is now AVAILABLE, and we are good friends, get along well, and she is young, and not ugly, no kids, not a whore, low number, the idea was planted in my head.

THEN the new boifran came along very mysteriously and under the radar and THEN i thought wtf, if him, why not me? and that really sealed the deal.

see i wanted to TELL her all this stuff, kinda just tell her the STORY, but never got the chance. i told the story basically in emails 2 thru 4 but not sure if she read those. MAYBE 2, but not so likely on 3 and 4.

yeah when you have a good thing you hope for it to END in a good way, not the shittiest way ever. oh well life goes on hahahaha.

anyway if you ever have a decent female friend where you ask yourself, what the hell is wrong with me that i do not have feelings for her, then talk to her about it and give it a few months, you can probably GET feels.


no long term rel which you sincerely dont want to interfere with.

she is not fat and ugly and old and has kids and you find her blatantly unattractive. that really is important.  cuz i would look at muh female former friend and say you know its not like she is ugly, or fat, or old, or has kids, what the hell is wrong with ME that i dont find her attractive?

well, you will probably get over that sense of “weirdness” once she is out of her Serious Relationship and starting to date someone new, and then you will think “why not me” and then you will be Deep In The Feels before you know it! and then you will be in a World of Pain before you know it! and pray to GOD to take these painful feels away and put the horse back in the barn! put the genie back in the bottle!

heh now reading woman hating comments on websites like women are stupid retarded sluts who do not deserve respect, and i think, yes many times they are, but my female fren wasnt like that, but oh wait we are no longer frens and she rejected muh feelings. so i found the .0001% woman who is good looking AND nice AND young AND not slutty AND not crazy, where even the woman haters would say DAMN you better lock this one UP, well i tried to date her but she was not into it AT ALL.

it hurts moar to get rejected by a decent woman than a total pig slut wearing yoga pants to high school letting all the boys see dat 16 year old ass hole & beef curtainz.

but mah gurl would never wear yoga pants like a huge slut.

well maybe she DOES, i only ever saw her at the job because she STOPPED hanging out with me hahaha.

yeah to go from hanging out, to never hanging out, that sucks. cuz you had something and then you lost it.

now all the sluts call me a woman hater because i use words like slut, and slut shame a bit. well because i thinks its shameful to gamble on you getting preggers like that.

well at this moment i wouldnt mind a slut to s muh d and help me forget about the perfect woman who rejected me.

muh perfect angel!

i fell in luv with her because she was the best woman i knew. i cannot imagine meeting one who is as good or better. wawawawawawawawa. all the other women pale in comparison: sluttier, uglier, older, meaner. wawawawawaw.

or how about i go a few more years being hateful and lonely and then meet another woman who is nowhere near as good as her, but i think she is, just because its been so long since i had any contact with a woman.

fook yeah i still want her to take me back! i am sorry for cheating on you and beating you and ignoring you and forgetting your birthday and never showing affection and making you feel worthless and never communicating and being so distant and never hanging out with you and losing interest you and falling out of luv withyou and …… oh wait hahahahaha.

possibly my problem was i apologized TOO MUCH. i was apologizing because i was desperate to get along with her. but apologizing basically means that you acknowledge being a horrible asshole who was in the wrong; an admission of guilt!!!!!

so i was saying yes master i am just as bad as you think i am! yes i am horrible for wanting to talk about the things that will eventually kill our relship because i couldnt read the stupid signals that you wanted to be done permanently because i thought you might want to reconcile after a while, because we had a good couple of years, and i am not a fookin MIND READER.

did a 3 miler. getting fall like out there. good time of year to cuddle with a female friend hahahahahahaha fook that bullshit.

maybe i should just trip out on acid and mushrooms erry day. well, erry 3 days.

going to see old friend today for first time in a while, he has no idea muh life is ruined. last time i saw him i was still working and talking to female fren hahahahahahahaha.

anyway sometimes he greatly disappoints me with his drinking however sometimes he impresses me with his not drinking. basically he should learn from me and never drink again. besides i could probably start drinking moderately again. he def cannot. and it is very disappointing when he starts drinking around you, because he starts slamming drinks and getting drunk fast and making everyone around him angry and disappointed. but i think he might be in a good phase now. when he is in a good phase, he is all right.

npr does patronizing story about millennials going into the trades rather than college even though npr is for college liberal arts fags who either get masters degrees and work at nonprofits, or phds and and become academics, or work at starbucks or become neets like me, or SJW communist marxist traitors hahahaha

SEX should be PRIVATE, INTIMATE and SACRED (or at least SPECIAL), something you dont talk about, something you do only with Special, Trusted, Intimate People. not a lot of people!

Kristopher Heinekamp • 7 months ago
As a millennial looking to possibly transition into a skilled trade (since teaching has zero job security), I’m a bit cautious
One of the difficult things about our modern economy is acknowledging that automation and outsourcing has eliminated a lot of jobs. The media likes to try and mask this problem by harping on these “high growth” fields or some “skills gap” myth (wages aren’t increasing, so there isn’t really a skills gap).
While it SOUNDS GOOD to say that resolving the unemployment of young people by encouraging them to go into these skilled trades, this really isn’t going to solve much of anything. Of course, we have the “shocking” stories now about how the Boomers/Gen X made mistakes by encouraging everyone to go to college, because now there is a surplus of college graduates. It looks like this is exactly what we’re preparing to do with skilled trades. There are just not enough jobs, but admitting that is politically problematic, so what is the response? We push and corral kids back and forth, chasing whatever fleeting glimmer of “jobs” we see. The Millennials are a larger group than the Boomers, and Gen X’ers are still working. After automation and outsourcing, there are not going to be enough jobs. That’s the problem. Pushing Millennials to get MORE education and MORE training is laughable. Once we have that, then we’re STILL turned down for jobs because we don’t have “experience.” I was at a job fair today. “We’re DESPERATE for machinists!” I say I’d be willing to do it if they’re willing to train, and the response is, “Oh…uhh….well, we really are only hiring experienced people.” Must be that SKILLS GAP, eh!?
The concrete numbers are quite startling. I found the number for the state of Wisconsin:…

Welding is often mentioned (and something I did in High School, and I liked, so what I was considering), but let’s look at what we’re really talking about. For ALL welding related jobs in Wisconsin, we’re talking about an increase of 730 jobs over a TEN YEAR PERIOD. Even assuming each and ever welder in Wisconsin retires (which they won’t), we’re talking about 3,560 jobs available in 2020.
AND, the kicker? The welding training program at my local community college is already at capacity…they aren’t taking anyone else in for now.
Now, JUST for this 2014-2015 year, the University of Wisconsin-Madison has 29,302 undergraduate students. That’s only four years worth of Millennials at ONE college.
Do we seriously think we can transfer all these college-bound students into the skilled trades?
What we’re going to do is exactly what we’ve done with college graduates; force a huge mess of kids into a career path, causing oversaturation, causing increased unemployment. Then, we can have self-righteous articles about how smart we are because these dumb kids made bad decisions.

When it gets REALLY FUN is when we look at ACTUAL JOB OPENINGS:…

There just aren’t really enough good jobs to go round anymore. Our parents and grandparents spent the last 30 years outsourcing and automating jobs in order to bolster their 401(k)’s, and this is the reality we’re left with. Go ahead, lecture us on how “irresponsible” we were for listening to you all. Tell us about the “high growth” sectors. Tell us about “STEM” jobs. Make sure you do this right after you get that pension and Social Security money. Just don’t – whatever you do – look at the actual numbers.
Let’s go yell at kids on the Madison campus! We can tell them how dumb they are for going to college. Let’s tell them about how hard it was to get a job at the Union factory when you were their age, with that High School diploma. Let’s tell them about a “high-growth” industry like HVAC! Let’s tell them about those 130 new jobs over the next TEN YEARS! Boy, they’re going to feel silly! And we’re going to feel smug! A real win-win!

comment in that npr trades article basically saying its hopeless hahahaha i like this guy

what skilled trade should i do

they recommend electrician or hvac hahaha

something about skills gap but apparently skills gap is bullshit because even vocational skools dont train on these skills? and its impossible to get into an actual on the job training / apprenticeship program?


oct 16 2914 day off thurs

so….female friend. definitely in luv with some dude who doesn’t luv her back. best case scenario is that she might also like me and then when we start talking about it and i tell her i might like her a little, she says fook this other dbag and then me and her go out.

but yeah. we settled this. what i need to do is simple: talk to her about this Issue. even if it’s a botched beta talk, it’s better than no talk, and that means less regrets for me, and i’ve had enough regrets to last a lifetime! and don’t want any more!

so. we have to hang out semi privately and then i can be like, ok i’m gonna rehearse more or less what i’m gonna say.

so why u been upset lately, whats going on.

then she might tell me about boifran.

if not, i say, well, i noticed an interesting man on yer facebook, is that your gay platonic friend hahahahaha

then she will talk about the boifran.

then i say: well i’m sorry that you’re unhappy but why didn’t u tell me about this earlier?

i aint mad at ya, but i was thinking about maybe taking you out to a nice dinner and us hanigng out more.  kinda hard to do that if you’re interested in this other guy.

boom. done. it’s not perfect, but it’s done, and then no more regrets for me. not having regrets is more important almost that having a Successful Talk, or maybe even Getting With Her.

If I can’t Get With Her, then at the very least I want to have No Regrets about things I didn’t do, and that is something I DO have complete control over, even if i can’t control whether she likes me or not.

anyway. she’s nice enough of a person and we get along well enough. maybe she doesn’t want to tell me because she also likes me TOO and it waiting for me to make a Move, which is what Guys used to do before they became feminized f4ggots and before women became huge cvmgulping wh0res who give away their pvssy like candy and it means nothing to them unless you f00k them senseless like only a true alpha male can. fook them weakly like a beta and you will get dumped soon after and never learn HOW to fook like an alpha.

and i hate to see her go from being a good women, into being ruined into a bad woman. which is what happens when a woman gets with too many guys, too many abortionz.  they become colder and crazier and less lovable and more immoral and more cruel. no thank you.

but yeah. bad timing. i wish i had developed Feelz towards my female friend BEFORE she started going out with this guy. but by the time i did, she was already with him.

but again let it be reiterated that you can have feelings towards several people at once. it may not be cool, but it happens, it happened to me, it can happen to anyone else, including her. so if i tell her I have SMALL, TINY, NON WEIRD feelz towards her, then she might build up her feels for me and say fook that other guy, and end up going out with me.

and that would be pretty neat. i haven’t gone out with a gril in about 10 years, and that was only for a couple weeks. with my female friend i’d like to think we could possibly go out for a few MONTHS, hhahaha.. no seriously i would shoot for at least a year.

actually it would be GOOD to have feels for multiple women so you can use them as backups, and then maybe getting rejected by one of them wouldn’t be so bad.

heh. this is what i think about on muh day off.

I started out just liking u as a friend and didn’t think it could go any further, but i have opened my mind to the possibility, and it really doesn’t seem so weird, you should consider it.

ok today. did laundry and shopping but got no sleep. still gotta do lawn and 66 minute powerwalk. thank god i dont have to make cigarettes today. and i got no sleep. fook. and i gotta talk to my female friend because she isn’t gonna be the first to initiate this. she is waiting for me to. that is my responsibility as a MAN. i accept that. i can’t be mad about it. this is what real men are supposed to do. to not be afraid to talk to grills. to face and conquer their own fears.

there is a manly man who i have a mancrush on at my job. what would HE do? He is both masculine and tough, yet very honorable and honest and moral, and at heart, a very loving man, devoted husband and father, yet has a very manly masculine tough exterior. i need to use him as my role model for masculinity.

anyway. so obviously i am secret hoping the thing with her and her boifran fails, because now i want her. and i would treat her better. but maybe deep down she doesn’t want to be treated good, and that’s why she is attracted to guys who don’t treat her well. pretty standard story there, the disease of the modern woman, and the feminized modern man. men are not men any more, so women are fooled into falling for a thuggish, trashy caricature of masculinity, because there aren’t many REAL men left.

Thanks Marx! Thanks Barry Hussein! hehehe. No, thank FDR and LBJ while you’re at it. Thank winston churchill, thank the rothschilds, thank the federal reserve, hehehehe. thank the zionist marxists.

also, theoretically i could send her an email. just a short, no longer than 1 page email. confessing everything. in a funny way. but this is obviously lame, gay, and beta. well, if i don’t talk to her by november 16, (one month) then i will send her an email. because beta as that would be, an email at the end of one month would be better than a talk after like six months. time IS VERY of the essence.


yeah that’s supposed to read

ANXIETY >>>>>>> SADNESS >>>>>>> ANGER. see below for explanation.

sat jan 4 14 7:08 pm

well at least i did laundry & powerwalk today.

i would say Worry, Anxiety, Nervousness, Fear is the WORST FEEL EVER, way worse than Sadness, which itself is way worse than Anger. HELL, anger is downright HAPPY, it’s the happiest of the negative feels, or the most positive of them. with sadness, you don’t care if someone’s screaming at you for being incompetent. you say, yeah so what, i just don’t care about anything because everyone I ever loved is dead  or rejecting me or doesn’t exist.  and anger i don’t even need to say, is just fun, you can go about your daily life VERY well being angry all day. but not nervous!

so “fight or flight” is a bit misleading, because you’ll fight when you’re angry probably, and flee if you’re scared. or FREEZE if you’re REAL scared.  and this famous term may them imply to you that anger and fear are about equal, when they are not, fear is much, much, much worse and harder to live with.

I really like the final scene of Mulholland Drive, this kind of captures a sense of the fear (HUGE SPOILERS, do not watch if you haven’t seen this CLASSIC MOVIE)

ok can’t find youtube. so i will describe and SPOIL it: naomi watts is sitting on the couch racked with very desperate fear, worry, and guilt. Sickening mix of feels like only the master david lynch can capture. great that he throws GUILT in there, as there IS often a sense like you’ve done something horribly, horribly wrong, and you are a bad, horrible, inadequate failure loser of a person. in the movie, well she was guilty for a damn good reason, she had her lesbian lover murdered by a hitman, and she’s up late at night alone with her worrying, she stares at the blue box, or is it the blue key. yep the blue key given to her by the hitman siugnifying the hit is done. then we see the horrifying Bum Behind Winkies in blatant, full, deliberate view, revealed in full for the first time, and he holds the blue box in a brown paper bag. he drops the bag to the ground and out of it comes scurrying two little old people, man and woman, presumable naomi/betty/whatever her name is grandparents who raised her and possibly molested her and who you onyl saw once before at the beginning, dropping her off in LA. (whole movie is weird btw). the little mini people, literally an inch tall, are kind of funny, until you figure lynch is gonna do something weird with them, and of course he does, they suddenyl become full size and are in naomi’s face immediately, causing her to scream and freak out much like I imagine myself freaking out. she screams hysterically as they “chase” her to her bed, where she frantically grabs for a gun in the bedside drawer, and very seriously and efficiently puts the gun in her mouth and blows her brains out and that’s the damn end of the movie, cue intense music, smoke, fade in of the man behind winkies, and the empty stage in club silencio, roll credits to one of the best movies of ALL TIME.

anyway point is, that kinda captures it. you’re sitting there until the bad thing happens, it is as bad as you fear, and you stumble away screaming, so desperate to end this crazy feel you’d gladly take the nearest gun and blow your brains out RIGHT NOW.

it’s kinda like that, except I’m not gonna blow my brains out, and I did nothing wrong like KILL somebody.

worse case scenario, I would run out and never come back.

now it is almost 8 pm, want to watch a movie soon, not sure if I should watch a farce comedy or a serious drama hehehe.

again not only is it going to be super stressful monday but super LONG, 10 hours, so I want to get to bed earlyish tonight, get up earlyish sunday, because i plan on getting up at 7:15 am on monday and then going off to the killing floor for 10 (and a half!) hours. but getting paid for 11 hours hehehe.  “NICE.”

I guess if I ran out, I would have to sneak back in when I was done sobbing, and quickly grab my $30 “briefcase” that is sitting there, also my notebook, would really like to try to grab muh sweet coffee mug and water bottle too. don’t really care about muh lunch bag.

heh. there was a game writer, roosh I think it was, who said, go ahead and visualize the WORST CASE SCENARIO and prepare for THAT, and then realize that chances are, it won’t ACTUALLY be that bad. I am not gonna disparage Game because the lesson it teaches is BE MASCULINE, and this can only help Any and Every Man. BE MASCULINE. Masculine Men are cool under pressure, they walk and talk like  a BOSS, they handle situationts that would make weaker men cry.

I went for my powerwalk today and realized a better new prayer I could say is “Dear Lord, please HELP ME BE CONFIDENT with the customers” because everything flows out from that, because confidence contains everything else I need: a sense of calm, cool headed ness, thinking straight, masculine, charming, handling stuff, dealing with stress. And I say HELP ME be confident because this is a joint venture between me and the LORD, I am willing to put in some effort here, I was debating to say Help Me Be Confident, or MAKE ME confident. still debating. Cuz I am not real confident and really do need to be MADE confident, but I realize the best way to do this is to fake it till you make it, ACT confident and soon you will actually BE confident and it won’t be an act anymore, and the LORD likes to help those who help themselves, and I’m more than willing to help the Lord in his Helping me Become Confident, hence, Dear Lord, please Help Me Be Confident wiht the customers.

Finally: while you say that prayer over and over again, it helps to practice walking LIKE A BOSS. I shouldn’t even have to tell you how to do that: chin up, chest out, swaggering and swinging your arms LIKE A BOSS. getting your body into this mode will help you TALK more confidently. and it is easy to forget that when you are sitting at the desk. Walk like a boss, talk like a boss, dear LORD, please help me be CONFIDENT LIKE A BOSS.


july 4 2013 yaaaayyy yaaaayyyyy | Explain the first time you realized you weren’t a normalfag. | archived from 4chan /r9k/ – ROBOT9000

heh that one is bretty self explanatory.

so when did you realize YOU were not a normalfag?

I, the author, am prob MORE normalfag than r9k. I can find stuff to appreciate about normalfags and don’t just see the negative side of normalfags like r9kers do. They say normalfags are stupid, selfish, shallow sheep, that relationships are cold, calculating transactions, that women are evil wh0res. I say: well yeah Conformity is generally important to normalfags and alot of them like some real stupid sh1t. But I envy many Normalfags for their ability to Work Hard, Accompllish Goals, Have Goals, not be Angry and Hateful all the time, getting stuff done, not being parasites, gainfully employed, trying hard, following through, growing up, being mature, having Meaningful Relationships, having children, starting families, having Careers, not dropping the spaghetti, etc. I see healthy, happy, well-rounded people, and wish I could be more like that. Many r9ks would disagree with me, and certainly most v9ks!

(I realize there are many other chans, many of them have their own version of r9k, perhaps I should Cite Them more.


(I generally enjoy 4 chon, but I don’t want them raiding or trolling me)

ok for example I took 5 minutes and found a 4chon r9k post on College General, College Advice, what to do and what not to do when you Go To College and don’t want to end up a Neet Virgin Loser.

(4chon has their own archive but in case that link 404s, here is a pastebin of it:


And then you will be a winner with a good job and QTs and never have to read my blog or r9ks.

so yeah it’s really not brain surgery. if you’re a morally defective lazy loser with something deeply wrong with you, you won’t hack it, you’ll fail, you’ll get deeper in a rut, and by the time you’re 30, you’ll be a huge loser, and the people you went to college with will be huge winners.


SO NOW WHAT. LIFT. PRAY. go for a POWERWALK. Get some SUN. Bribe people with pizza parties to get you a sweet $10 an hour upper working class fulltime office cubicle job, and then you can at least tell your family that you’re working forty hours a week, Get the F off me, you’re not some part time working lazy layabout. If the job is Spiritually Draining, then just be thankful you have a job, and then smoke w33d and LIFT. And a Man can prob be as old as 40 and still bang 18 year old QTs! So that’s one good thing about being a man!

i might have contradicted myself several times there, heh. ok don’t smoke w33d more than once a week. but you can LIFT every day. well, different muscle groups of course, pulling a muscle will just push you back.

* Some Normalfag Winners use “college dropout” pejoratively and incorrectly, for someone who’s taking a Well-Advised HIATUS from School to Regroup and Replan and come back Stronger Than Ever. That is not a DROPOUT. That is a HIATUS.  A dropout is someone who FLUNKS out with bad grades, is KICKED out, or just STOPS GOING in the MIDDLE of the semester, not someone who soldiers through to the END of a semester and THEN takes a Hiatus!

* If it’s Too Late For Me To Succeed, I feeeeel I can still succeed by HELPING young men who are in the position I was in, and turn THEM from losers into winners. Keep One young man from killing himself, help one young man Floundering through College to find A Way, and then a few years later, he’s working and making money and getting QTs and feeeeeeling haaaaaappy and then he sez THANKS I Never Thought I’d get out of that alive! And I’ll say, GLAD TO HELP! Now Pull some strings to get me hired at your job, and get your QT gurlfran to hook me up with her young 19 year old friends.





















“Why is moving out such a monumental task these days?”

general feels thread, how did yer first luv break your heart permanently and turn you into the failure loser neckbeard you are today, stories about b1tches be b1tches

requesting stories about getting Prostitutes/Escorts/Hookers/Paid Sex. German boasts of getting Attractive Girls at a Reasonable Price.

just learned about this site The Erotic Review

which is like a database of reviews and info about Escorts. Wowzers!

heh heh. here’s a goodun:

burning out mentally


can’t argue with that! hahaha. appealed to me because I talk about “burning out mentally” a lot. and feeeeeling “burned out.”

like a girl, she actually shows some interest, get nervous, have bad game, blow chance cuz grill doesn’t think you like her………….(or does she know you’re interested but she just cringes that you are so beta and unmasculine and faggy and unconfident and spaghetti)

^^^how kids become neets, parenting, tough love, motivation, epic ontology o’ neetage, 9/10

when your parents have the “we’d still love you if you’re gay” talk because they’ve never seen you with a grill

men of r9k: why do you hate women? hehehe nice.



may 19, 2013

The people you knew from high school that wanted to be winners took out huge loans to go to college. And even Average People took out Huge Loans to get Marketing Degrees from Average Schools. Lots of people Drop out and never finish college. College Is A Minefield and a Battlefield. If you do not have the Warrior Mindset and are just sorta drifting along, I would say, Just Don’t Go. Some people say the Federal Subsidized Loans are Somewhat Reasonable….but are they REALLY? Since when is Ten Thousand Dollars a LOW amount of Debt to be in? And yet it is!

I GUESS Huge Amounts of Debt might be a Good Motivator to Move You during your Job (“Career”) search, but if you could Handle Lots of Stress Well, you wouldn’t BE here!

How to Handle Lots Of Stress Well: I’m still working on that one. I guess just realize things could always be worse: you could be under Physical Attack, or your Boss could be FIRING you RIGHT NOW rather than just Bullying you.

But yeah that can be Draining, so when you get done with Work, and then it’s time to Look For New Work, you’re tired and angry and sad and can’t move from your bed.

And then you have to decide, is it healthier for you to go Take A Walk, Or Look For new Work, OR take a Nap, OR sit there and watch TV?

I would say, if you’re not already currently in the greatest of physical shape, a little chubby perhaps, then go out and take a walk. ESPECIALLY if the weather is nice. You can ALWAYS job search. the weather won’t ALWAYS be nice.

Maybe find some way you can continue your preferred form of exercise in the winter. I for example am terrified of going to the gym. That is a real bad way to me. Masculine Men Conquer Their Fears. They conquer a New Fear Every Day.

How To Conquer Fears: Just realize you aren’t being physically killed or getting fired. Visualize The Worst Thing That Could Happen, prepare yourself for That, and then walk in, and CHANCES ARE it will not be NEARLY that bad, because you’ve gotten in the bad habit of Building Things Up in your mind to be Worse than they’ll actually be.

Like imagine you go in there and you’re swarmed by Thuggish-but-fit Big men, and Beautiful Young Women, then someone pulls your shorts down and laughs at your peepee and everyone laughs at you and calls you a faggot virgin, you will never Get A Girl, you will die a virgin, and then they start having a big disgusting decadent perverted orgy, while mocking you for being a faggot and a virgin.

Then realize there is only a 1% chance of that actually happening!

The only people that even pretend to care about you being a virgin are they Internet Tuff Guys on 4chan. Don’t let 4chan determine your Real Life!

I certainly don’t care if you are a Virgin!

Now you may be asking, yeah, but am I, the blogger, a Virgin? How would I know the pain of Long-Past-Due-Virginity-For-Omega-Males?

Well, I DO know that pain, and I won’t say right now whether I am a virgin or not. But That I have great sympathy and possibly empathy for Old Male Virgins!

If you’re anything like me, you’re probably a big WORRIER. A WORRY WART. They don’t talk about Worrying so much. You might forget that too much worrying is bad; or that you’re even worry at all, when in fact you are worrying way too much. I would suggest trying to cut back your Worrying, like you were cutting back Smoking or something. Even Worrying about IMPORTANT stuff is often not worth it!

When you get thrown out onto the streets, THEN you can start worrying. and then you can just go to a church or a shelter for the night, because you’re not gonna be DRINKING, right?

I would say going to JAIL would be more worry-aboutable than being Homeless, because in jail you are prob more likely to get Raeped or Beat Up than if you’re homeless. So try not to go to jail. But it’s really not THAT hard not to go to jail. Don’t sell drugs, don’t buy drugs, don’t steal stuff, don’t rob people, don’t drink and drive.

Try joining the Army and promising you won’t kill yourself like the guy in Full Metal Jacket, even though you really identify with him! At least you won’t get Raeped in the 4ss like you would in JAIL. If some faggot is f00king with you tell him mind your own business faggot, get out of my face. And try to sign up for the type of duty that will keep you AWAY from being possibly Bombed and losing life and limb.

When I was 18 I had NO desire to join the military but now, uh over 10 years after that, I can say that it probably would have been a good thing. Of course, so would have getting my degree in Electrical Engin rather than Jerkoff Studies.

Don’t try to think what if I did this differently, then everything would have turned out better. Heh. But easier said than done, I know I think those kinda thoughts EVERY DAY and they do not give me good feeeeelz.

While I appreciately that FEEEEEEELING HAAAAAAPPY is not a good goal, There Are More Important Things In Life Than HAPPINESS, I also don’t think that makes Happiness Inherently BAD. Thinking about the PAST and things we Cannot Change is not gonna get us anywhere at all. Heh.

Get a big Serenity Prayer and put it on your wall. It has never steered me wrong.

Put a bunch of inspirational pictures and quotes on your wall so you can see them when you are laying in bed despairing.

If you HAVE to have the TV on to give some sort of background noise, pick the Least Poisonous of the Poison. 99% of TV is Pure Poison. Even THE WEATHER CHANNEL is more poisonous than it was. Probably the best thing you can “watch” is Turner Classic Movies. Heh, of course AMC used to show Old Movies like that, remember that? Now they don’t.

Wean Off Of Bad Habits, Slowly Move Into Good Habits. Getting out of the habit of watching any TV can only be a good thing for you. for all of us.