WHY IS POPULISM BAD

nov 19

ok this post should be shorter, hahaha. 4000 words max

i always liked jack lemmons uptight, nerdy, supplicating, neurotic style. it seems pretty jooish but i dont know if he was a joo. varg LETS FIND OUT.wav

” He was the only child of Mildred Burgess LaRue (née Noel) and John Uhler Lemmon, Jr., the president of a doughnut company.[2][3] His paternal grandmother was from an Irish immigrant family.[4]    ”

looks like not a joo. thank god hahaha.

yeah i mean i wish a bigboy FT job had picked me rather than this littlegurl PT job, it puts me back into the same conundrum i had when i was 26 except im not a young man of 26 anymore! but the good news is it lets me fix the GAP, and its also guaranteed not to give me a nervous breakdown hahaha. i just cant start any drama with WOMEN, and also i cant lose sight of the fact that i have to move on from there fairly quickly. ideally i would get a ft job with the same company.

i was very often trying to work for and win womens approval. with That Woman, at the beginning, i wasnt working at all. i mean i was doing shit, but i wasnt struggling and scheming and planning and strategizing and calculating and overthinking. we just got along veyr well and beause of that she liked me and i liked her. but not in that way. yet.

and then when i DID start liking her in that way, it all became that damn chess game where i had to figure out How To Make Her like me back.  it is an exhausting struggle that i have NEVER won.

but yeah either the woman likes you or she doesnt. either she s going to going to give you a chance or not.

and even when i have gotten as far as making out or Casual Dating with a woman…….it wasnt really HARD. there was enough Natural “Chemistry” or attraction to get me THAT far……but no further.

new crowbar album november 2016 “the serpent only lies”. i always liked crowbar but my peak with them was “oddfellows rest” in 2000! great album, possib muh fav of theirs. since then i havent been following them too much just because they are always releasing albums.

yeah EXCEPT they went on a solid hiatus for like 6 years while kirk focused on down. and since down is not looking super hopeful, i am glad he is doing stuff with crowbar.

i mean crowbar is very HONEST and SINCERE and REAL and keeps it REALLY REAL and there is absolutely nothing PHONY about them.

also i really dont think kirk is a joo. some white power guy on the internet has him on a list of joos but i doubt this.  mean his lifestyle is total working class white guy whitelash.

i know he had some struggles with drinking but not super hard drugs or anything. i wonder if he smokes MJ every day like a degenegro. PROBABLY hahahaha. now he just gets raging drunk less. i dont think he quit drinking altogether.

so yeah he’s not a model aryan ubermensch, just a flawed normie, and i believe his heart is in the right place, and i can respect someone who has an Instantly REcognizable Musical Style, which he does. no one else in the world sounds like this. he is Not Derivative at all. he’s been doing that for 30 years. he is all about good riffs and good songs and very honest unpretentious lyrics about being Tuff and Overcoming Adversity. how can you dislike that?

his main flaw is basically just getting sloppy drunk, or at least he used to, and i hope he doesnt anymore.

i dunno i did see down like 3 times with him and….he was one of those guys that probably could get totally fooked up and still play very well.

technically once i was face to face with him and said hello and shook his hand hahahahaha.

i was in this same situation 2 years ago with their previous album: oh i like and respect crowbar, i will always give crowbar a chance, i wish i was more familiar with their later stuff.

maybe their later stuff just isnt as GOOD hahahaha.

i dunno, on the surface it certainly doesnt seem BAD!!!!! i mean its textbook crowbar!

but yeah albums like “broken glass” and “oddfellows rest” had a MAGIC for me, and i am wondering if thats because crowbar had more MAGIC back then, or I had more magic back then when i was young and innocent.

but yeah even if i cant REMEMBER any of the last 5 crowbar albums, i will always respect what they do.

also i think kirk became RELIGIOUS with their 3rd most recent album hahahaha. like CATHOLIC i think. which is bretty kewl imho. wish he talked more about that. figured it would be more of a controversy.

anyway i just hope he is a good father to his child/ren. i know he has at least one.

i know that he was married and was divorced. was she a piece of trash? was it because he was drinking too much?  what about the children?

anyway, as with all white men, i hope he is trying not to be a drunk degenerate, and is being a good father. the fact that he can write such honest music is a signal that he has good intentions.

yeah the road to hell is paved with good intentions, but they mean something to ME at least hahahaha. better to have good intentions than not, i say. its worth SOMETHING.

had dream last night that i was in AUSTRALIA with a group of people including TWO of the young qt women i used to work with when i was 26 to 30 hahaha. yeah and That Woman was a third woman of those. i only meet qt women at muh job hahahaha. thankfully That Woman was not in the dream. but woman2012 was! and also this other qt dark haired gurl that got married kinda young.

dont remember much about the dream other than near the end, i was kinda getting ostracized from the group. or i was being a dick and i ostracized myself. either way, i no longer had a chance with either of those two women. that sucked hahahaha. just wanted some cuddle and make out and hang out and romance action. i only had good intentions. i didnt want to use anybody for casual bullshit.

so i would have dated 2 girls at once? yeah but i would have been honest about it hahahaha. and if foreced to choose i would prob choose woman2012 because she had longer legs and a bigger ass hahahahahahahahahahahaha

and then tell the other gurl, SORRY for hurting your feelings, youre a good person, you wont have ANY PROBLEM finding a decent man.

they are finally coming out with the black metal lords of chaos and they are having a guy named COHEN play varg vikernes hahahahahaha. WOW. i wonder what he will say about that.

yeah i mean i will probably watch it just for fun, im sure it will be horrible. but hopefully FUN at least.

darkthrone told them NO you cant use our logo or our music. i respect anyone who can turn down free shekels like that.

but i also think, well, they have lives and families, and the shekels could HELP them!

but the movie does sound really really really jooish hehehe.

i would totally let darkthrone play a show for 100 grand tho. that is MUCH less jooish.

play the show, give the money to your kids, build a home in the country far away from the urbanite, raise 5 kids like varg in the country. be like varg. varg should play a show for 100 grand hahahaha. he could say whatever he wanted and then never get invited back because he would hopefully say a ton of antis3m1t1c and pro-white stuff!!! hahaha.

or not play ANY songs, and just give a pro-white speech for hours hahahaha. well i would want him to play songs though haha.

and all the drunk degenerates would be like boooo racism. i mean really. its pearls before swine.

so have the show be a very exclusive alt right invite only thing, where you can onyl get invited if you pass an interview process proving your pro white bona fides. then they could raise money from rich successful white pro-whites to give to varg. might not be as much as some jooish festival promoter tho hahahaha.

unrelated but this album could also be good. epic atmospheric pagan black metal with some celtic angle and great cover art hahaha. also brand new. i guess i am into super newly released music again. thanks deathspell omega hahaha.

yeah this sounds very promising, little long tho

plus i like the scots hahahaha

got those whistles and flutes and bagpipes, very nice, i will accept this in muh atmoblack hahahaha he is a nationalist but doesnt quite realize it yet hahaha.

i think me MIGHT be an american but he moved to scotland. glasgow. not sure if the guy from panopticon (austin lunn) plays drums on this like he did for saor’s last album “aura.”

no its a guy from this other scottish black metal band hehehehe.

ok andy marshall of saor does anoter scottish atmo black band called fuath, good job buddy, writing 2 albums of epid 16 minute songs, in 1 year hahaha. he also had bands before saor called askival and in vino veritas. dunno guess i just like the idea of SCOTTISH BLACK METAL hahahaha and this guy is pretty much the biggest name in it.

(shit i saw a picture of him where he had big faggy ear gauges. seriously. kids in 2016 still do this. never understand that shit. DEGENERATE. )

well with me and music, i kinda have to go where the spirit takes me. its not supposed to make sense or be logical or even necessarily good music hahahaha.

welp listened to that crowbar album, it sounded exactly like crowbar. their sense of consistency is something you make a good natured joke about at this point. hey i dont really want them to do anything different, just make good songs. well i mean for example i know kirk is a big led zeppelin fan, so why dont they write a song with some LZ influences? also i would like to see more Mellow and Clean Singing songs, because he has a GREAT clean voice, spine chilling. they started doing occasional Clean songs in 1999 hahahah so its nothing really NEW.

heh. you know whos NOT degenerate? GARTH BROOKS. thats right. i decided i should really start listening to garth brooks. hes not part of this super faggy new school of jooified “country” and he is a nice family man who retired from a super popular career to spend more time with his kids. and now that his kids are grown, he’s coming back a little bit, playing more shows.

hes a little bit SILLY of a guy but i think thats because he genuinely enjoys life in a non degen way hahaha.

and he is a very good performer.

george strait would also be acceptable to listen to hahahaha.

i thought this shit was corny and lame during the 90s, but it was probably the least degen popular music available in the nihilistic 90s, and also country music got much much much much much much much worse over the next 20 years!

ok so my new  job goal is to write as many super duper detailed, epic, heroic, miraculous WORK STORIES as possible. get at LEAST 10. so i can have a RAFT of SUPER DETAILED, SUPER AWESOME STORIES chock full of specific detail in future interviews.

i had some work stories now, but the key thing that i forgot to do back then, was WRITE THEM DOWN AS SOON AS THEY HAPPEN, DAY OF, AS MANY DETAILS AS POSSIBLE, and then you can always edit it later.

and you SHOULD edit it later, to make yourself look smarter and better. the important thing is that there are a TON of details.

get at least ten of these stories and you should then be able to interview your way into a better job. maybe be worthy dating women that almost look as good as transsexual men hahahahahahahahahahaha

hey they are plenty of terrible looking transsexual men, they arent all think young feminine looking qts hahahaha, some of them actually look like big burly crowbar esque men ahhahahahaha.

i cant believe i didnt write down work stories before. i had so many of them! i know i TALKED about them into my recorder. i could do back and listen to those tapes and then write the stories out. but apparently i didnt want to do that!

it would have been better to smuggle out the case notes….but i stopped doing that a few months in.

so i could have done THAT from home, i had access to case notes from home, i could have just copied and pasted.

but i was so fried and burnt out and broken down, i couldnt even think of obvious, easy solutions like that.

shit just copy down the top 20% of interesting, weird, or detailed cases! just copy the weirdest ones!

wewlad just got down to lowest weight evar, 132 lbs. i mean its POSSIBLE i weighed less than this like 12 years ago!!!!! but not recently! and i am old as shit and at basically the lowest weight i have ever been! so thats good! i mean i could actually get away with GAINING weight at this point…..but i dont really want to do that.

USE YOUR WORDS TO COMMUNICATE. AND USE UNAMBIGUOUS WORDS, not words like “like” or “hang out.”

well at least she feels bad about breaking her bfs heart hahahaha. sounds like she feels REALLY bad about it hahaha. GOOD. YOU SHOULD hahahaha.

no sorta kidding, she shouldnt feel THIS bad if she made a good faith attempt to dump him in a sensitive way, without trying to add insult to injury.

“sounds like she didnt have much respect for your relship if she dumped you with a TEXT” hahahahahaha

yeah i THOUGHT she had MORE RESPECT for me than that

and i thought i knew her better than that.

sheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeit.

still wanna sm0ke mad w33d.

still thinking about going to a SHADY ASS “doctor” in a dispensary on “doctor day”, saying i dont have any medical records, and that ive been getting persistent chronic pain in muh….back. carpal tunnel. then getting the card sent to a po box. then just let the po box expire once i have the card and i am buying tonnes of MJ hahahaha.

its like a prescription that NEVER RUNS OUT. that alone is rather unbelievable.

go to a doctor ONCE, have a card to buy drugs FOREVER. well, for 2 years. even still, could you imagine getting a 2 year prescription to buy as much Painkillers as you wanted? as much benzos as you wanted? for 2 full years! INCONCEIVABLE!!!!!

nov 20

sheeeeeeeeeeeit.

ok on my first day i gotta bring in donuts or bagels.

also gotta be dressed like a damn boss.

i dont think they wear suits every day there hahaha.

ok there is a 24 hour tim hortons nearby, so i can get some donuts and bring them in at 8 am hahaha

then they will judge and bullycide and abuse me for being uneducated, trump supporting and racist enough to buy such racist, hateful, bigoted donuts. donuts are what FAT BIGOTS like COPS eat.

i am being Silly but thats not far off from my usual line of Distorted Thinking, which has wrought massive anxiety and despair in muh life hahahaha

EVERYBODY HATES THE DESPERATE. nobody likes desperate people. employers, women, kool kids, winners. all shun and shame the desperate.

you know who LUVS the desperate?

JESUS! GAWWWDDDDD!!!!!!

so never forget that. when its lonely desperate you and the world is against you, JESUS is on your side. and LUVS you just as much as he luvs TRVMP.

hell yes i support jeff sessions for atty general. but the question is, how does he feel about joos. it could go both ways. some of these southern bigots luv joos and israhell and are not j wise at ALL.

SEE? ALL THOSE TRUMP SUPPORTERS ARE HUGE WHITELASH RACISTS!!!!!

no they arent, just the alt right subset hahahaha.

and at least half of them are polite and nice like neoreactionaries. and dont use hate speech like I do hahahaha.

so yeah i do not represent trvmp, nor do i represent the average trvmp supporter, who is probably WAY less racist than me hahahahahaha.

so whats the deal with jobs where they dont even tell you the salary range during the interview, you have to get to the second interview just to get a god damn IDEA, when its not a 60k a year job were talking about, its more like 30k job. you dont GET to be so circumspect about salary for a 30k job…….well yes of course you do!

but yeah being TOUGH, thats always been a problem for me. tough situations in life that SHOULD act as a crucible to toughen me up and make me into a better, stronger man…..i always break down and become a weaker, bigger loser.

anyway WOMEN. dont have such SHALLOW relationships. take PEOPLE more seriously. PEOPLE are important, relationships are important, intimacy is important. cuddling is SUPPOSED to build intimacy, sex is REALLY supposed to build intimacy, and women have this damn carousel of men, relships, sex, cuddling, motions of intimacy, and its all a lot of things that are SUPPOSED to be important or intimate, but they treat them like NOTHING.  its DISTURBING and SOCIOPATHIC hahahaha.

thats why they call it a RELATIONSHIP, because its all about RELATING to/with another person!

hmmm npi conference was yesterday. millennial woes looked like a slob in a purple t shirt and gray hoodie. looked like a real unemployable neet, looked like me lounging around the house hahahaha.

redice did a very nice stream of basically the whole event. THANK YOU redice.

i guess emily youcis got harrassed by antifa outside and sprayed with something.

i mean i dont like women in the alt right, but she has earned some cred for that i suppose.

ill still white knight more for alt right trannies than alt right women because the trannies are less of degenerate sluts than the women hahahahahah.

that proves it! Im a woman hater pure and simple and woman hating has no place in the alt right, in pro white, in a healthy society! this is MY PROBLEM that i need to FIX!

things that mean SO much to you, like cuddling, or making out, or fooking, or spending time with somebody, or having a rel with somebody, or being vulnerable and intimate with a person, it all means nothing to women! its all as meaningless as taking a dump!

i dont think they INTEND to be SOCIOPATHS! and isnt INTENT a big deal to me?

well….only to a point. if you cheat on somebody and say well i didnt MEAN to cheat on you, it just HAPPENED, one thing led to another…..yeah ok intent doesnt matter there. you have plenty of time to stop it.

i didnt intend to be a sociopath, i just acted like a sociopath in all muh relships and never tried to stop it.

nope, not all relships, just the ones with me!

i bring out the sociopath in all women hahaha.

no thats WRONG. NOT TRUE. woman2012 didnt treat me like a sociopath. That Woman didnt ALWAYS treat me like a sociopath.

havent you ever just RUN AWAY from something you couldnt handle? i ran away from College when I was 21 because I was like I Just Cant Handle This Any More. I should have done it at age 18 or 19! then immediately gotten Severe Treatment, 100000000000 mg of prozac, maybe some electroshock, then gotten a STEM/math degree at my prestigious univ, or gotten a stem/math degree at local less prestigious univ so i could stay at home and not be tempted by degeneracy, or at worst just gotten a business degree from local univ, or something. maybe being out of that environment would have been good. because i was tempted too much by the degen of MJ.

i still used MJ and alcohol when i was at home though……..

i dunno. i should gone to a shrink along with my 1000000000000 mg of prozac, and they could try to convince me to stop doing mj and alcohol. because i was too young for that shit.

http://www.wikihow.com/Be-Tough

https://www.google.com/#q=how+to+be+tough

ok read and understand. if you have a question, read it again until you understand. dont come looking for me to give you a free ride hahahaha. read and understand. youre an adult nao hahahaha.

If you could federally legalize MJ with a 35% tax on it……..then wouldnt it behoove the feds to legalize it?  theyd make billions of dollars on the taxes, more money than they make nao from…….what? booze being legal? but that money is going to booze barons, not politicians or govt!

also if MJ were legal, MJ barons could make a ton of money, as well as the govt taking 35% taxes on it!

not that I think taxes are good, i am just saying its a way to convince govt to make it legal, because THEY love taxes, and i would be WILLING to pay HEAVY taxes to have MJ legal and easily available.

im just trying to figure out why mj is still illegal. basically, both the govt And the Superrich Elites could make a TON of money off it being legal! so why dont they?

i mean they are probably GOING this way, it will just take 10 more years, cuz govt moves SLOWWWWWLY. except when legalizing phag marriage. that happened pretty damn fast hahahaha.

i mean most people can get MJ because its easy to get for social normies. they always know at least one person. the one person i sorta know is unable to do anything at the moment, so i have to wait hahahahaha.

well dont blame THEM!

im not tho!!!!! really!!!!

heh. that was another thing i lost when i lost That Woman.

maybe she really was just shady sketchy white trash that im better off without her in my life hahahaha. i mean she certainly thought SHE was much better off without ME in her life!!!!! and im not that shitty! seriously!!!!!!!!!

maybe her mind was so clouded and she made such bad decisions because she did MJ every day.

i also made very bad decisions and ran away from responsibilities when i was 21 largely because i did mj every day!

well she was older than 21!

21 its ok to be immature. 25, you should start thinking about adulting and being mature.

of course i am over 30 and still very immature.

but you can be immature in diff WAYS!!!!!

http://www.wikihow.com/Keep-Yourself-Calm-During-Tough-Times

heh. there should be a psych phd who writes a book on what happens to your Brain as you go Incel over 10 years.

i mean i dont really care about the SECS nearly as much as the general cuddling or intimacy or having a real REL with a woman.

the GFE, the EXPERIENCE of being with somebody special who is diff from a regular friend, or acquaintance, or family.

and women take these very special rels for granted, have many of them, treat them as replaceable and disposable. hahahaha.

no not all women. not even 51% of women hehehe.

hmm intradasting. no real point here other than to say he felt good when she broke no contact on his bday to wish him happy bday (she dumped him and it was very hard for him), he struggled in doing NC, and now she was sending this message, and he was like, i felt better know that i and the relship meant something to her.

now he says he doesnt want her back. i dont know about that!

standard stuff

hehehe his 22 yo gf has been with a LOT of guys. at age 22 i had only been with 1 gurl. at age 32 i had only been with 1 gurl.

always gets dumped by girls after a few dates or fooks and they see how INSECURE and NEEDY he is. well he is still young as shit, but this has apparently happened several times. oh well. at least hes not a virgin hahaha. maybe he needs a 10 year period of celibacy until he is 33 hahahaha.

heheh i hate thsi shit. she will dump him because oh im not good enough for such a good guy. but if this were a guy dating a gurl who was too good for him, she would dump him IMMEDIATELY and he would feel REAL bad. how do you think this bipolar OP would feel if her too good for her BF dumped her in a very insulting way, like yeah im way too good for you, you dont deserve me? she would be super devastated!

youre not allowed to be depressed if you got into a decent grad school at age 23. maybe if you got rejected and your only option was work at starbucks or get a devry mba and then become a team lead at starbucks. at best. i mean starbucks might be too good for you, they have health benefits ahhahahahahhahaha.

i also think its stupid that she was over me IMMEDIATELY, while its gonna take TWO YEARS for me to get over HER. go thru a little grief and pain. did i really mean NOTHING to you?

but yeah it doesnt bother me as much as it used to.

it doesnt mean it doesnt still bother me, almost every day!

just relatively less. and i THANK GOD for that.

well at least alt right is sticking as a word that means something to people. they use it on mainstream media to refer to far right white supremists, racists, anti semites hahahahaha. like those evil alt righters. no, not all trvmp supporters are radical racists like those ALT RIGHT people hahahaha.

so now i can be like yep im alt right, and i am looking for other alt right people to hang out with.

and people will say you deplorable racist bigot! or, hell yeah me too 1488! HAIL VICTORY!

and then we will get into a huge argument about phag enabling and religion and mj and me not being hyperborean ubermensch enough hahahahahaha.

yeah well it TOTALLY CAN take two years to get over someone. i dont think thats weird at all.

it just disgusts me that NO WOMAN goes two years without SECS. that even if they are Getting Over some other man, they are having Casual Secs with other men. All Women act like 6 months without secs is such a TRAGEDY.

NO. ITS NORMAL. TWO YEARS without secs while you get over somebody SHOULD be normal.

yeah TEN years is not normal i agree. but were not talking about 10 yers, were talking about 2 years.

anyway this thing is making me think All Women Always Treat All Relationships as Throwaway Meaningless Nothingness, and this is not true. it is CLASSIC COGNITIVE DISTORTIONS.

http://www.dbtselfhelp.com/html/cognitive_distortions.html

https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/in-practice/201301/50-common-cognitive-distortions

like good lord. just swear off of secs with men for 6 months and use the damn dildos youre always talking about.

whats the deal with trumps dead brother (i heard he was a Drunk) and his 2 sisters? i have never ever seen them.

yeah so freddy trump was a kinda black sheep and died at age 43 of drinking. one sister is a fed judge, cant believe we havent heard from her. other sister was in banking? other brother was in family business and makes an effort to stay out of attention. i guess there is no issues between any of them.

ok good enough for me.

don jr drank a little during college but apparently got his act together and is now super successful winner with beautiful white children hahahaha.

hmmm ivanka trump is actually OLDER than me. but eric trump is not hahahahaha.

don jr got married in 2005 and had FIVE children in NINE years. the bad news is that his wife is HALF J00. DAMN. COME ON DON.

well at least its not as bad as ivanka and KUSHNER. im not even sure if they should have children. just dump kushner, marry a goy, have goy children.

so yeah his wife is half jooish. and supposedly tiffany trump is dating a jooish man. COME ON. COME ON DON.

how have i not looked into this?

oh is this a sick joke, eric trumps wife lara is full joo. SMDH.

ivanka the orthodox joo and kushner have THREE children. oy vey. what a shonde. its like annuda shoah!

so all of TRVMPS grandchildren are damn MISCHLINGS.

maybe this is a kamikaze strategy to End Jooish Lines? I have too many doubts about that to think it could possibly be effective. especially using your own children.  maybe they just arent joo wise. but how can they NOT be?

SON OF A BITCH.

also i wanted to ask, WHY IS POPULISM BAD?

because its racist?

because “POPULISM” is a codework for Working Class White Male Whitelash?

yeah pretty much.

now i dont like the idea of MOB RULE, but i dont think that what the MSM is getting at when they say “populist”, they just mean the scary evil racist bigot WHITELASH.

http://www.dailystormer.com/the-rise-of-the-white-lash/

welp if i dont make something of myself in the next 4 years, thats it. thats my only hope hahahahahaha. this is white males time to shine and if i dont take advantage of it, i am done hahahaha. white male privilege alone wasnt enough to make me a productive member of society. i need EVEN MORE because i am THAT bad. and here it is with trvmp hahaha.

yeah i should order a red trvmp hat already.

and hanging out with more trump supporters and especially alt right people in real life.

wearing a trvmp hat in public hahahaha.

how much and what kinds of tax would have to be placed on MJ to make it more profitable to the Powers That Be for MJ to be legal, rather than it to be illegal? 100% tax to feds AND 100% tax to state and maybe another 100% to city?

pay $400 for a $100 bag of MJ? yeah ok i might not pay that. i wouldnt pay more than 50% tax hahahaha.

but shouldnt that be enough?

i mean how much law enforcement resources are used to arrest and prosecute MJ growers, dealers, etc?

as opposed to more dangerous drugs like meth or opiates?

no one goes to prison for MJ anymore!

so whos making money on illegal MJ? Mexican Cartels? and the US Gov wants mexican cartels to continue making money because…….this i cant figure out. The Secret Truth.

because Cartels give Fedgov billions of dollars a year? how? bribes? who exactly are they bribing? it seems like it would be lower level frontline feds would be more suspectable to bribes than top dea directors, fed judges, fed higher ups.

so YOURE TELLING ME that these feds make more money in HIGHLY illegal BRIBES from MEXICAN CARTELS, than all of the fedgov could legally make by taxing MJ 35%? 40%? 50%???

i just find it very hard to believe.

 

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WHEN YOU SEND MESSAGES THEY DIDNT CONSENT TO RECEIVING, ITS LITERALLY RAEP

sheeeeeeeeit

sept 20

meet with shrink today for first time in over a month, should be entertaining hahahaha.

reddit. if youre upset about being dumped, then youre automatically CONTROLLING and ABUSIVE and immature. werent you ever upset about being dumped? also i think that YES you ARE a little bit on the hook for your Ex Partners feelings at the end of the rel. its not a goddamn get out of jail free card. its not a waive all your responsibilities card.

BREAKUPS INVOLVE RESPONSIBILITIES TOO. thats what reddit and apparently 50% of women dont seem to understand hahahaha.

https://radio.therightstuff.biz/2016/09/20/the-daily-shoah-103-vice-shitty-stories/

wewlad, daily shoah gets a VICE reporter on the show, then within hours the TDS soundcloud is shut down (again!). apparently its a 20 year old gurl with valley gurl vocal fry hahahahaha oh man dis gon be gud.

also bulbasaur is back and this is legit a big deal, hope he stays back.

anyway i basically just hate the feeling of not being able to HANDLE anything. go to a job and not know what to do, bullshit your way through things, deal with bitches bitching at you all day, just surviving one day at a time on the edge. you just want to come home and smoke big fat b0wl until you are blazed as fook, and then immed go to bed. but you cant because you dont have a source for MJ and you cant do drugs in front of your family, plus you shouldnt be doing drugs anyway hahahahaha.

but i also think it really HELPS when you have a stressful job you are just trying to survive one day at a time. helps you Switch Off after a horrible day, and also to slow down and get some rest for another horrible day tomorrow.  more effective than just about anything else. lack of hangover. the next best thing obviously is exercising STRENUOUSLY till exhaustion. cant do that EVERY DAY though.

well, one day you could cardio strenuously, then the next day LIFT strenuously. there you go.

applied for job at ticketmaster. maybe eddie vedder can call me up and bitch at me hahahahahahahahaha.  that fooking phaggot. he couldnt HANDLE working a DAY at ticketmaster. the 424th job.

i guess 500 is a lot nicer, rounder number than 400 eh?

yeah i am digging this bell witch pretty well. maybe i just really like that cover art hahahaha.  anyway they have no guitar just bass and honestly i couldnt really tell cuz doom usually tunes their guitars so low that it almost doesnt matter hahaha.

this is a 28 year old woman. he’s my best friend and we are looking forward to an AWESOME FUTURE with NO KIDS and LOTS OF CATS.

of COURSHE, REDDIT sees nothing wrong with this whatsoever. totally valid lifestyle choice.

ABSOLUTELY DISGUSTING.

because KIDS are SO UNCOOL and CATS are AWESOME. RAWR!!!! KIDS are LAME and prevent you from achieving success in your CAREER, making a difference with nonwhite children in africa and arabia, and from TRAVELING.  this is normal stuff for a 28 year old childless woman to be thinking. because they are not going to have fertility problems in the next 5 to 10 years or anything.

sheeeeeeit rejected by ticketmaster SAME DAY as applying. THANK YOU!!!!!!!

and this is with my New Cover Letter Now With Brief Getting Out In Front Of the Issue Explanation of Gap!

i was thinking, every man should have a female friend or acquaintance that he gets to Cuddle With on the Regular. like once every 2 weeks at least. it would not be a Dating or Secsual or Monogamous Rel of course. well, of course the guy would probably fall in luv with the gurls. so the gurl should have the training to manager that inevitability, because i believe if it were managed well, the pros could outweigh the cons.

but then its a slippery slope to degeneracy like fook buddies and all that degen.

but cuddling isnt degen at all!

yeah but you shouldnt do it with just anybody and be a damn no strings attached cuddle slut…..should you?

because if you cuddle with a cuddle buddy, aren’t you increasingly likely to get feelings for them? yes. same as if you fook them.

but casual cuddling is WAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY less DEGEN than casual fooking. better for your soul.

had pretty uneventful meeting with shrink. just vocalizing my somewhat growing discouragement with job search, etc. things i might try doing differently, like focusing more on “low hanging fruit” like part time jobs and the god damn temp agency, etc.

listened to first hour of new daily shoah where they gangraep cutesy female journalist. i mean she sounds like a college idiot even though shes gotta be like 28 or 30 years old with a Professional Career since at least 2007 with atlantic, vice, maybe msnbc. i bet she went to a good college, maybe even ivy. theres no reason for her to talk like this unless she is coming in bad faith. they talk about the issue of bad faith. it takes 20 minutes before the good talk gets going. she starts with coy bad faith questions about pepe and the guys are very tight lipped because they see right through the shit.

really i think they should do this more often, and have it be just mike enoch vs the journalist, so it doesnt seem like they are ganging up on the poor widdle gurl.

ok heres the one they did a few weeks ago with the gawker journalist, i will listen to that one next

i have NEVER been good at debating my enemies, sheeeeeeit i cant even debate my leftist FRIENDS. when they start saying something leftist, i just keep my mouth shut. if i were as strong and sharp and quick on my feet as mike enoch, damn that guy is good. i might actually have a chance at challenging my friends preconceived notions.

well, im sure you go easier on your friends. just chip away slowly and make little chinks in the armor, then sit back and let them question themselves. that is what i would like to do. but if you get a damn enemy like a vice journalist, of course you want to DEMOLISH them.

and i want to see more of these kind of debates.

well i dont really want to listen to the MW / Sargon debate. Although I think MW has gotten more ballsy since then. No, I want to hear Tuff Guy Mike Enoch DESTROY LEFTISTS.

sept 21

sheeeeeeit. so i ran into this guy i used to work with at this auto related store today. he told me a bunch of people went to work at this one company that did not surprise me, i knew a few went there, turns out it was more than a few. he said they paid 18 an hour. he interviewed for them but did not get the job. i said sheeeeit thats some bullshit, fook them, whatever man, forget about it.

he let slip that That Person was working at this Company which I wont name but now I know the name of it and I wont apply there hahahaha. i think he said she interviewed at the same company he did and also did not get the job, and some people he felt shouldnt get that job, got it. i THINK he said she interviewed but did not get it. if so, i was happy about that, because he is smarter than her, and if he didnt get the job, she shouldnt get the job. also she doesnt come across as very strong or sharp or smart. but i guess she got something. not 18 an hour though. prob not.

he has no idea my history with her and i didnt ask about her, he mentioned her just as he was rattling off people we used to work with.

he mentioned some of my favorite people from the job, and they were being “bums” not working. me too i said, hahahaha. i actually talked to this guy pretty well, like a total normie. well we got along fairly well, i think i liked him more than he liked me tho hahahaha.  well whatever. he’s got kids to raise and he is a busy guy so i just chalk it up to that. plus he is nonwhite so, whatever. he is not a bad guy though! he deserves a 18 dollar an hour job too!

also i dont think he fooked That Woman. well who knows. maybe she fooked everybody. he did not seem too interested in her tho. also she was not a huge slut when i knew her. i have this fantasy narrative where she became a huge slut the moment she dumped me hahahaha.

well now i know the name of her company so i know not to apply there. and i am not tempted to look her name up to find any info about her. not that i have. i have NOT. but now i might look up the company and see how much her position pays hahahaha. something having to do with documents and forms.

was driving home late last night and had awful feeling, why is the car pulling this much, whats that sound, whys this feel so weird, oh shit, do i have a flat tire, and turns out yes yes i definitely do. instant panic hahahaha.

ive actually never successfully changed a flat tire as shameful as that is.

well i carefully drove to a gas station about half a mile away and tried putting some air in the tire. didnt seem to help at all. not sure i was putting the air in right though.

called fam to let them know what was going on. i was scared and helpless and weak hehehehe so shameful and pathetic. plus they might have insurance that has roadside service.

anyway the fam came out but they didnt really NEED to, because i managed to figure out the complicated procedure of jacking the car up, removing the bad tire, and putting on the spare tire. then putting some air in the spare tire, and driving carefully home.

so that was actually kind of empowering and confidence building. i was always worried i would put the tire on wrong, or jack the car up wrong, put the jack in the wrong place, not put the tire on right, the tire would come fully off while i was driving, etc. but no, everythign went very well. and now i just feel bad about making the fam come out there and get worried. was like 8 miles from home. didnt want them to think i was in jail for drunk driving or smething. i have not drank in 7 years!!!!!

i had always said one day i would practice jacking up car and replacing the tire, just so i could do it quickly and confidently when needed. but i never got around to it hahahaha.

but i managed to pretty much do it yesterday. it was kinda slow but i eventually made progress. next time i could do it a lot faster.

it was like oh shit am i doing this right, am i screwing up the car, i dont know what this is supposed to be like, and then ultimately everything worked out. kinda like my job hahahaha.

but its one thing when you are responsible for yourself, vs taking the responsibility for someone ELSE and THEIR problem. like me trying to tell another person how to change their tyre, when I had never done it myself.

so yeah if i had to do it again, i would be a lot less nervous. well assuming i had the correct tools and a properly inflated spare tyre hehehe.

but yeah it was not quick. it was closer to 60 minutes than 30 minutes. if you know what youre doing you could prob do it in under 20.

had dream last night featuring woman#….3? i cant even. no i think it was woman4. from 2005. she was a prudish innocent asexual type gurl, i liked her Secsual Innocence and total lack of sluttishness. but yeah she was not interested in me and i came on too strong hahaha. but she was a decent choice i think, would have made a good gf if she were willing. which she werent hahaha. i would have totally monog trad dated her for 2 years. shared firsts with her hahahaha.

anyway in the dream she was being nice to me and cuddling with me, possibly some making out. and that felt really good. smiling and gazing at me and cuddling and making out and touching, nothing too degen though. so that was pleasant.

so it was nice to feel those feels for someone who was not That Woman.

Sheeeeeit, i’ll take a Previous Woman from 11 years go, over That Woman, ANYDAY!!!!!!

anyway the guy i talked to told me His Price. His Going Rate. he wont take a job for less than this amount. it is a pretty respectable number, a little high, but it’s good to think highly of yourself hahahahaha. and he is worth it. hell were ALL WORTH it, its just, can you GET it.

the number was higher than 15 an hour hehehe. and certainly higher than 12-13 an hour like i am aiming for now.

i dont know why that big company didnt hire him. he is a pretty normie guy and pretty smart and why the hell wouldnt they want a smart nonwhite.  maybe the guy seems laid back or stoned or something? but he doesnt smoke MJ, at least not regularly! he’s just kinda laid back. which is GOOD! i dont get it. do you have to be electrifying?

i mean yeah i try to present as more energetic and electrifying, but just come across as nervous and anxious and virginy hahahaha.

great fun listening to death panel destroy the widdle gurl journalist. i mean she sounds like such a retarded idiot. you cant even have a productive conversation with these people hahaha. i look forward to listening to the male gawker journo they had on a month ago. maybe he can actually not sound like a 13 year old moron gurl.  its amazing this woman can make good money and i struggle to get a 12 an hour job!

yeah ghoul is autistic and these conversations should really be mike enoch and the person alone, cuz once mike pins them down, he can deal the finishing blow, but with all the other 5 guys sperging out, it allows the journo to squirm away and dodge questions like a sneaky little J.

it was funny to hear seventh son snap and get angry, he is usually very chill. but hes like shut the fook up you god damn liar.

so yeah i hope this becomes a regular thing and that mike e can structure it a little better. take the good suggestions of the commenters. i havent even looked at the forum yet but supposedly there is pretty good proof that it was This Woman Reporter who got TRS soundcloud shut down.

well she makes money because of her jooish boifran. well hes just a damn journalist too!

but he comes from a family of jooish doctors. monay.

hehehe the people at trs do their due diligence.

also she used to be married to a white guy who was a military guy AND a leftist who fabricated stories of military being abusive to iraqis for the new republic in 2007. he recanted his story and she gained a reputation as being very lazy on fact checking. theory that she is only still working because she dumped the white guy and started fooking a pure joo journalist.

not sure where she went to skool. georgetown?

nope university of missouri columbia, journalism, 2005.

ok, that is the same thing as MU aka mizzou.

she possibly met her lying leftist x husbando there. not sure. dont really care.

but yeah the grilling on TDS could have gone a lot better by having a more intimate convo with k1ke enoch, maybe he could play nice for the first 20 minutes, lure her in, then trap them like a rat.

but of course i understand that you should show this vermin no respect.

i guess i just cant help white knighting for white gurls. i sadly would probably bang her 6/10 fetal alcohol syndrome, 34 year old, hipster problem glasses wearing, body, vocal fry, leftist, lying.

im just curious to see what happens after this. like what kind of article is she gonna write. i mean she was made to look like an IDIOT. that cant be good for her story.

i wanted funeral doom, why dont i just go with a trusted name here, and not just listen to the first song only, hahahahaha. i hear the third song is also pretty good.

interesting seeing that guy from the job. he was on my good list so i didnt mind talking to him. realize i hadnt seen him in over a year. 14+ months. WOW.

cant help but think of That Woman and how i am a just a small insignificant part of her Distant Past, and she should be the same to me, but she’s not!

but she’s moved on, new job, 14 months, def new cox, maybe some new lovers that she can fall in luv with, new friends she can be interested in, new life, new everything.

tho i am sorta glad she wasnt BRIGHT enough to get that 18 an hour job all the other people got. because she really is not a very sharp thinker in the technical field. she just is more emotionally mature and disciplined than me hahahaha. she is more mature than me hahahaha yet she cant send 1 text to end a 3 year rel. i am less mature than that apparently hahahahahaha.

but yeah i couldnt help but think of her when i saw this guy. bringing back memories of the awful job from so long ago. yet i cant get over HER. i cant really get over that job either hahaha. this man i talked to didnt hate it nearly as much as i did. he was very chill and laid back and could roll with the punches very well. i wish i could do that.

yeah i totally understand why she could throw a person away. it just hurts a LOTTTTTT and I guess I dont understand why she couldnt send a messanger to just say sorry for the way this all went down, have a good life. that would have helped a lot. couldn’t you care enough to do that?

maybe by the time she thought of doing that, some time had already passed, and she figured it would be like ripping open an old wound again. which makes sense.  i can understand that.

but she BLOCKED ME, which says DONT CONTACT ME. I DONT WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU. I WONT LISTEN TO YOU. WHEN YOU CONTACT ME, THAT’S AGAINST MY CONSENT, AND MAKES YOU THE BAD GUY.

so sending messages that will get blocked makes you the bad guy, becuase they didnt CONSENT to receiving those messages. its LITERALLY RAPE hahahahahaha.

heh. the amount of dollars per hour you make is like your LEVEL.

are you a loser making 11 dollars an hour?

or are you a huge winner making 18 dollars an hour?

its “ONLY” 7 dollars. but that 7 dollars makes ALL THE DIFFERENCE in the world between a loser and a winner. thats 14k a year between big loser and big winner. hmmm.

22k a year vs 36k a year.

i think savage.wav comes from the michael savage show and not necssarily devil may cry. just a thought.

referrinf to the sweet audio drop on the fatherland haha

im honestly not this ADD. this is just mental multitasking, i have to have two trains of unrelated thought going at all times. i blame the job really. with all the damn CASES that we did.

plus im jealous of how SHE used to work on 3 or 4 or 5 cases AT THE SAME TIME. she was a better multitasker than me.

but was she ultimately more effective? or efficient? i dont think so.

btw if i havent made this clear, multitasking is ABSOLUTE BULLSHIT and anyone who says its a good thing, you should punch them repeatedly in the face.

multitasking is a jooish lie, scam, myth, farce, lies, bullshit.

https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/why-non-business-students-shouldnt-take-business-dimitri-bianco-frm

real controversial title here!  and i did not watch the video so…..i guess its some young MSc who got a sweet 100k job for what he went to graduate skool for, and he is complaining about Grad students taking Business classes because they want to work “in industry” as opposed to……didnt watch the video. in industry as opposed to academia, government, nonprofits, public sector i guess?  and they think taking a marketing class will somehow make them more hirable? but it really doesnt? and they should just get into a better grad program instead? but why are you in grad skool if its not a good one? because people will just go to grad skool. not even joking. but how could just about any MSc degree be “worthless?”

because some degrees that seem worthwhile are worthless. like a phoenix MBA hahahahaha. but thats a business degree.

well, like maybe if you get a “general” library or education masters degree. or social work. i guess biology is shitty too.

heh. this is why i avoid graduate skool. why i avoided it for 10 years. i would rather try to survive in the real world. and i havent figured out how to do that yet! apparently by being able to be calm and make decisions and bullshitting in Tough Situations!

heres the TDS with the vice gurl, it hadnt been uploaded to youtube yet yesterday hehe

i mean it was kinda a trainwreck and could have been a lot better, but it was still very entertaining and illustrative. and cant stop listening. but it still could have been better. like yeah actually talk about the JQ for an hour. but she’s not gonna come back, she’s prob the one who reported TDS to soundcloud. she wont come back to have a more productive discussion.

basically there was a lot of wasting time of people interrupting, her being an idiot, some of the guys being autistic. something more focused with just mike and the reporter, talking in depth about one issue, like the JQ or White Privilege or Housing or Immigration or Punching Down or Systemic Racism. pick one and only one. yeah i know its hard when theres all these good interrelated topics. but you cant give them any place to run to, any chance to change the subject.

anyway yeah it started getting good near the end of the interview. it took 2 hours to start really getting good.

 

ITS A RULE: IF YOU WANT TO DUMP SOMEONE, YOU HAVE TO TELL THEM

1026

well it has been 69 days hahahahah since i last initated contact. things are changing but not necess for the better! i am starting to remember her with anger and disapointment and not favorably.  so she remembers me as someone she hates? what for? she was way more out of line than i was!! so anyway The History Books will view this as her being a Stone Cold Awful Bitch.

BUT the history books will also view me as overreacting like a hysterical, anxious, overemotional beta bitchboi!

still better than a stone cold throwing you away bitch though. but not very proud or masculine either.

BUT….would i want to go back there and see her and deal with her every day?

HELL NO!!!!

so i made the right decision then?????

but i also feel crippling despair when looking at job listings and trying to get damn jobs. how do other people do it.

so you are not supposed to compare yourself to others, but when you DO, you prove how weird and different and unhealthy you are. maybe they are not super sucessful but they still manage to survive, maybe pull some slutty pussy hahahahaha.

thinking of ramping up the citalopram from current 20 mg to at least 40 mg, maybe 60, 80, or 100 hahahahah. rev that shit up because i am in the depths of despair and all muh hope is gone. the woman was my main source of hope.

i mean life is still good, i have plenty to be thankful for, but she was very special to me. very very special. i liked her more than i thought i did!!!!

lesson learned: tell them immediately if i have feelings for them. becuase i am so stupidly SENSITIVE to that bullshit that it WILL RUIN my LIFE if i let it get out of control.

now i feel bad because i acted a FOOL, i let myself get so out of control, just because of my feelings, for someone who couldnt care less for me.

i was wrong in my assessment of a persons character, so very wrong. how could i be so wrong? i am always so cautious and pessimistic! well i trusted her once. she just did a damn 180, turned into someone i didnt know any more.

well i WANTED to trust her, to think that she still cared about me enough to talk to me and try to Not Hurt Me So Blatantly.

and i am ashamed and feel like a feel for getting so emotional and anxious that i couldnt do my JOB.

when you think you are going crazy, or having a “nervous breakdown,” youre not really going CRAZY, you are just super stressed and anxious. that’s not CRAZY, thats just garden variety ANXIETY. but its a HUGE amount that makes you shut down or freeze up or run away or give up. i really shoulda just taken half a valium at work, taken a few days off work, rather than quitting. but now i dont want to go back there and face HER.

MAYBE if SHE had handled the dumping better, i would have handled the job better.

or she could have responded to me with something like “dont quit your JOB, dont ruin your life on account of ME, lets you and me meet with the managers one day and see if theres anything we can do. i am sorry your heart is broken.”

although it IS good to be away from her. i dont WANT to see her ever again….unless she changes her mind and wants to GO OUT with me, MONOGAMOUSLY.

no no, bad goyim, monogamy is oppressive and patriarchal and is what allows men to Punch Down From Above from their Privileged Position in the Patriachy, and abuse and keep women down! its like Anudda Shoah for Women! Oy vey! Its like raping women constantly! Yes All Women! Yes All Men Rape Women through the Oppressive Torture and Slavery of Monogamy! Shut it down!

i have been listening to “The Daily Shoah” and “The Merchant Minute” of “The Right Stuff.biz” and it is the greatest thing i have heard in years. My Movement might be reaching critical mass. it is an exciting time to be a rightist. and its increasingly ok for white men to come out of the closet and declare being a racist! and arent a bunch of neckbeard neo nazi virgins, but successful normies with careers, gurlfrans, children. well i am kinda jelly of THAT, because i am a neckbeard virgin loser hahahaha and dont DESERVE a good woman for a wife. not until i PROVE myself first. oy vey i dont have the courage.

yeah i could have blurted shit out to her a lot earlier. yes i should have. that was my mistake.

but she could have damn talked to me, wrote me an email, if she wanted to Terminate Our Relationship. i didnt think our chances were GOOD, i wasnt expecting to Be Friends Afterwards. I just wanted to face the conflict Head On and Move Past It without super shitty feelings. certainly failed to do that!

i bet women want monogamy when they are with a super alpha male. they dont want HIM dating anyone else. and as long as they are in luv with him, THEY dont want to date anyone else. it could take them like a damn year to get “grass is greener” syndrome, which with a beta, they will get within 3 months tops. chad thunderc0ck can prevent their wandering eye, mouth, ass, and uterus for longer.

WANDERING UTERUS. thats why men dont trust women!!!!!

so…..i was in the wrong for just not simply accepting someone wanted to dump me without talking to me?

I THINK THATS A RULE. IF YOU WANT TO DUMP SOMEBODY, YOU HAVE TO TELL THEM SOMEHOW. Not necessarily talking in person, but texting, or emailing, or calling, to COMMUNICATE to them, i want out of this.

I didnt want to believe she really wanted out of it, because

  1. she didnt say that explicitly
  2. she kept saying we WOULD hang out someday, and i was desparate to believe it. also someone who wants ot dump you does NOT say you will hang out someday, they say, i want out of this.

if they dont and they say yeah we will hang out someday, thats a lot easier for the desperate person to live in denial and actual believe that bullshit.

1027

had yet ANOTHER dream where she made an appearance, i cant have this. in this one i was sitting around at a Video Store as if i were a teen waiting to be picked up from school, then i saw her, then she walked right by me and did not see me. this was kinda ridiculous as the place was not busy and i had a reasonable expectation that she would see me. she walked right by me and went and sat in an area behind me. i got up and turned around and could see her very easily as the area was behind a glass window. i was convinced that she had seen me and was ignoring me, so i was all angry and butthurt. her hair was dyed like crazy pink or purple or something, never a good sign, only huge bipolar borderline sluts dye their hair super weird colors like that.

i think i said “hello” really loudly and not in a friendly way. she saw me and said hello and went back to texting chad on her phone hahahhaahaha. she said hello but that was it, she was obv not wanting to talk any more. kinda like the super awkward event where i saw her last and then she stopped talking to me altogether. of course there i was a lot friendlier and tried to be friendly as fook. didnt help.

in the dream i was more angry, i dont like being ignored by someone who once was friendly to me. and not over the short term either, like when gurls are friendly to you for like 2 weeks then lose interest, because the world is full of interesting chads. it took her a damn long time to lose interest and that made it even worse when it happened!

anyway i am in a real phase where i am having dreams about her, it really sucks. seems like 2 or 3 dreams a week. just ridiculous.

i wish i could get over her as quickly as she has gotten over me!

and now i am increasingly angry about jobs and careers and shit. she is gonna move up in the career and i am gonna struggle to get back to where i was. where she was. i am super angry and bitter about all that. it is possible i could get a job one day and then she would get hired in as my boss hahahahahah my 8 years younger than me boss. no i am used to all muh tier 2 people being signif younger than me. this is just how it goes when you have failed in life hahahaha. Your Seniors are much younger than you. no joke hahahaha.

and i am way smarter than her!!!!!!!!

she has a pretty good work ethic unfortunately. i say UNfortuantely, because i used to admire that about her but now, like all her good qualities, i envy them because she has rejected me and refused to share these good qualities with me any more.

also the fact that i was much smarter than her allowed me to do better work than her in the recent job. because she would just do a halfass job without being AWARE she was doing a halfass job, beucase thats how complicating and confusing our job was.  and if i told her she was doing a halfass job (i didnt) she would certainly get even bitchier at me, rather than if CHAD told her the same thing!

and also her maintaining longer at that company is only a good thing as far as making that a good stepping stone for her. whereas i basically just committed career suicide! because of a damn woman!!!!! are you kidding!!!!!!!!!!!!

so basically she will be a winner and i will continue to be a winner, even though she cant write a coherent sentence. you should ahve seen HER case notes. they were orders of magnitude many tiers below mine. mine showed an INSANE understanding of the issues and were filled with details, recommendations, and suggestions. hers were like a baby wrote them. a tot. yet she moves up in her career and i move down. fooooooooook. and have dreams abotu her.

what if she has a dream about me? then she goes and moves up in her career and fooks chad. or worse, tyrone hahahahaha.

i would rather her become white trash with mudbabies with deadbeat tyrone absent fatherz, and be condemned to a life of degradation, degeneracy, dissolution, than to become a successful Career Woman!!!!!

none of the women i had feels for ever became huge white trash, in fact most became middle class successful, but if anyone were to become white trash, it would be HER, and now i kinda hope she does!!!!

i feel like she “betrayed” me more than i betrayed her! she became a different person more than i became a different person.

like she let me drown in quicksand! or was on a big ice floe and then i was on a small piece that broke away and slowly floated away.

so my feels for her DID change me a little in how i approached her, i was more mushy and lovey dovey and beta and tender, but i was always nice towards her. so it didnt change how i treated her THAT much. in contrast, she changed the way she treated ME like night and day. once she was nice, now she was mean and cold and distant.

and then you think why they do that, what did i do wrong?

but many times its all on them, why they are distancing from you. you have no influence over it.

be more like chad maybe. but if you are coming to them begging and pleading, what can i do to fix this, how can i change to make you come back to me……..bad news bears.

and they dont tell you anything but give me more space and we might hang out someday.

then you say no YOU gotta do better than that. you meet with me saturday the 15th at 7 pm and we are gonna sit down at the table and TALK about this officially. negotiate. go over terms. draw up a CONTRACT. I will gladly give you one month of space. not enough for you? well i will give you 6 weeks of space if you give me detailed, long emails and a 20 minute voice message every 2 weeks. your need for space does not cancel out your responsibility to communicate. communication is not some bad thing like neediness is. if you want space, you’re gonna have to communicate.

heh. she was the single reason i was able to get into that job. then she left me in the lurch. high and dry.

http://www.askamanager.org/2015/07/how-to-explain-to-interviewers-why-i-quit-my-job-without-another-one-lined-up.html

http://www.askamanager.org/2015/02/ive-messed-up-my-work-history-and-now-cant-find-a-job.html

this one is great too, what an unemployable loser

1028

i got in a super bad mood after reading ask a manager for a while, like oh god i have made a huge mistake, i cant bounce back from this one, i was slowly starting down the path of maybe not being a loser one day, but i got off that path in the worst way, and will now be doomed to being a loser.

had a horrible day yesterday, not so much because of HER, but because of me committing Career Suicide and quitting my job without another one lined up. now that is gonna finally start bothering me hahahaha.

every job sucks, every job is awful, everyone wants to quit their damn job. every job drives you crazy and is super stressful and nerve wracking and you have to be TOUGH to SURVIVE it.

so yeah i basically feel i am NOT TOUGH ENOUGH to deal with life. this sucks hahahaha.

of COURSE i got feelings for her. she was under 30, not ugly, not obese or even slightly overweight, no kids, low number of cox, no tattoos, nice. ANY man would get feelings for her. and i think she is finally starting to enjoy the Attention of Men, that she had not enjoyed before, due to her LTR. but now that she is over that, she is realizing there is a WORLD of men out there who will be Nice to her, help her at her job, buy her things, be her Crying Shoulder, and also the best kind of men, the Chads who would be exciting and fun and secsy. she is finding out what useful idiots men are, and how many there are, and what a Celebrity she is for being young, no kids, and not obese. she can get a lot of utility and maybe even happiness out of men. i could see her becoming a User Of Men. men have abandoned her, why shouldnt she abandon men, and just use them for attention and anything else?

or she could just go on being a nice person and make One Lucky Guy very happy, and never cheat, never abandon again, and this will remain the most hurtful thing she has ever done.

when you feel like youre “going crazy” and cant think straight, its probably just stress and anxiety and not actually going “CRAZY.”