WOMEN HAVE NO MORAL COMPASS AND ARE WIRED TO HATE OMEGA MEN

wed aug 9

so people used to drink like 1% alcohol beer because it was cleaner than water, the alcohol killed all the germs and viruses and bacteria and shit in the water, so it was actually safer to drink beer than water. and you stayed hydrated by drinking weak beer instead of water.

could you dump dirty water into beer and then the smallest amount of alcohol would kill all germs? i dont think it worked that way. like, you couldnt ADD shit. you could MAKE really watery beer and then THAT water would be ok.

whenever i read shit on /relships, im like, why are you even asking? just dump them. just dump them.

then i realize its because they actually CARE, they dont WANT to dump them, they want to save this relship, they are WILLING to MAKE AN EFFORT, they dont WANT to LOSE this person.

and it is painful when a person just wants to be DONE with you. they want to be done with you SO MUCH that they are ok with never talking to you or seeing you ever again. you might as well have DIED.

at least send your mom, or your BFF, or your new BF, or a Social Work Student, to be a messenger of the bad news and to say SORRY, I KNOW THIS SUCKS FOR YOU. or you can just send an email or text yourself which says that. sorry, i know this sucks for you, i dont mean to cause you this pain, but i cant do this anymore, i have to back out, sorry, the end.

how hard is it to send a TEXT saying THAT? it takes LESS THAN ONE MINUTE. to throw away a person without even taking LESS THAN ONE MINUTE to say something to them is just ridiculous hahaha. i would NEVER do it to anyone.

now i am on the outs with people but its completely different situation. like for an incorrigible addict who has been given countless chances by everyone in their life. that’s not what was happening with me and that woman. i felt i wasnt even being given ONE chance to Air The Grievances. Festivus hahahaahahaha.

i AGREE that at some point you can talk about it TOO MUCH and talking about it any more wont do you any good, you just need to END it.

i’m not sure when that point is. probably when one person is sick of TALKING about it and the other person is obviously not listening AT ALL. I think this is probably more than three times. use the old three strikes rule of thumb.

so yeah i dont feel i got three strikes. never even TALKED about it ONCE. SO THERE.

eyebrows. never understood the manicuring of eyebrows on women. i have about average eyebrows and i would be perfectly happy with a woman who had the exact same eyebrows as me. well i have one eyebrow hair that grows extremely long. not sure how that happened but i just trim that one single hair like every 3 months and that is good enough. basically i prefer a natural look to an artificial look, and everything women do to make themselves up looks so artificial to me! women of a certain age are NATURALLY beautiful! why do they want to fook it up by making it look ARTIFICIAL?

for a similar reason I don’t like makeup, lipstick, eye shadow, eyelash mascara, any of that shit. no thank you. YOU LOOK LIKE A HOOKER.

maybe the TINIEST bit of makeup to show that she is making an effort for you, her man, not to seduce a room full of rich men. of course she doesnt need to make an effort in the looks department, but showing the WILLINGNESS to DO SOMETHING for you shows loyalty and luv and good faith. the more you know. rather than someone who ignores you, avoids you, and takes you for granted. doesnt really luv you. wants to be done with you but is too craven to tell you in ANY way.

hire a damn Process Server hahahahahaha.  YOU GOT SERVED.

no i didnt hahahahaha. i would have preferred getting SERVED.

aaaaannnnnd bitcoin continues to go up. OH WELL. I DONT HAVE ANY MORE TO SELL.

I resent women because (and this is certainly not the ONLY reason) is because I would be SUCH a GOOD woman. I could be a better woman than most women. Men know what Men want. Men know how to be a better woman. Women have no idea what women want, or how to be a better man, so their opinions are stupid and worthless. men’s opinions are wise, meaningful, correct, and important. Men speak the truth, women speak bullshit.

but this is the way its ALWAYS been! dont hate a cat for being a cat! dont hate a dog for being a dog!

yeah but dogs and cats arent supposed to mate together!

but im just saying its always been CONCEALED and COVERT with women, they NEVER knew what REALLY goes on inside their body or minds, so why expect them to be “honest” about it? they can’t possibly BE honest!

i guess I just value HONESTY that much. and men DO.

i guess i’m just mad that men value honesty so much and women are naturally dishonest, incapable of honesty. if i didnt care about honesty so much, i wouldnt care about women being deceptive.

heh. well, what do women hate about men? they hate weak, needy, clingy men. and there are plenty of weak, clingy, needy men out there. i’ve been one myself.

i dunno. i just feel being weak, clingy, and needy is not as morally wrong as being DISHONEST. a cheater, scammer, liar, abandoner.

because im using mens morality not womens morality hahahahaha. for a MAN, YES it is pretty bad to be weak. or dishonest. for a WOMAN, for a MAN to be weak is the worst thing ever, and for a woman to be dishonest doesnt really matter. women get to get away with being CHILDREN.

i guess i also resent that too: men have to be RESPONSIBLE, women DONT. COME ON.

if i have to be responsible, i want muh women to be responsible too.

i struggle bigly with being responsible, but i know being responsible is the right thing to do.

whitesville west virgina, think i will move there hahahahahaha.

there were yellow flags and red flags with that woman, for example some silly stuff she believed…..but EVERY woman believes some silly stuff and has some yellow flags in that way. just be grateful she hasnt been with 60000 guys red flag. besides you can probably mold her towards less silly beliefs and make her a white warrioress bearing you many little white warriors. what could be better. and then when that woman leaves you like a ghost, you are devastated for at LEAST 2 years. it all makes sense.

hey. i KNOW i was important to her for a WHILE. like she genuinely liked me as a person, liked seeing me, liked spending time with me, i could TELL she wasnt FAKING it. so i guess i just wanted her to SHOW ANY of that at the end. like i’m sorry, i know this HURTS, sorry, i dont mean to throw you away like a piece of garbage because thats NOW how I think of you. you really DID mean something important to me, i just couldnt Do Those Feelings.

that’s all i was looking for hahaha. dont be SO goddamn destructive. try to apply a little soothing balm as you rain down fire and napalm and nukes. make any effort to at least do that.

dont let a woman name your children, they end up picking a STUPIDASS name like brooklyn or something. no. brooklyn is the name of a city, not a person. be a man and name your child something traditional and good like michael or mary or anne or elizabeth or john or james or richard or donald or adolf hahahahahaha. it’s not complicated. it’s not difficult.

how can you give birth to children but not know how to name them hahahaha. how can you give birth to children but also murder them and be horrible at raising them? why can’t men just get pregnant. they would probably do it better than women. we dont need women at all. women are a net loss hahahaha. just use women as brood mares, locked away from productive male society.  they grow children, give birth, and absolultely nothing else.

so what do you do with girls. you cant ABORT them because ABORTION IS MURDER.

yeah but women just arent WORTH as much as men hahahaha. they are LITERALLY inferior. their lives don’t MATTER as much hahahahahahaha.

no i am jk of course. but you see the slippery slope.

but really i mean come on. these women. they gotta start adding value. not just coasting on this being the bearers of children bullshit hahahahaha. actually be a worthwhile PERSON hahahaha.

JEALOUSY IS NATURAL AND NORMAL. Women will never understand this. they think jealousy is always bad and means they should dump you and that youre abusive and a horrible person and you should work to get rid of all jealous.

NO. JEALOUSY is a GOOD thing, because it WARNS you of BAD things: that the mother of your children is CHEATING on you.

Now, some people might be Overly Paranoid, and that’s not good, but if your GF is spending lots of time with her Male Friends, then YES you SHOULD get jealous! instead the women bitch about their jealous bf and then end up dumping him and getting with their male friends. because their ex bf had no good reason to be jealous then hahahahahaha.

i want terribly to sm0ke mj, but i dont want to be around st0ners, hang out with these degen idiots. i just want a big bag of mj all to myself, so that i can get blazed alone, in peace. no people around. that woman would have been the exception. i liked being around her, she didnt like being around me at the end. i was desperate to hang out with her and sm0ke mj with her, had a FANTASY of hanging out with her, smoking mj, cuddling, making out, her being nice and sweet to me, etc.

but i am also happy just sm0king weed by myself, other people make me nervous. just be by myself and listen to music or maybe exercise or something.

meh i dont care if emily youcis is a huge race traitor wh0re, she has done enough and put herself far enough out there that it pretty much cancels any past degeneracy. she has made real sacrifices and done real penance. she wouldnt do what she’s doing now if she wanted to go back to fooking blacks. she has woken up and changed. god for her.

i have no proof that she was fooking LOTS of blacks, but i assume that as an artsy, punk, drinking, MJ smoking, urban young gurl, singing in a punk band dressed like a hooker, foul mouth, yeah i mean i’m not NAIVE hahahahahaha.  she CLEARLY has a PAST.

but thru Becoming Who You Are, you can be Redeemed from any sin! its really kinda like accepting Christ as your personal saviour! but probably even better! with a lower Recidivism rate is what I’m saying. meaning lots of sluts will turn to Jeebus but still be gold digging, treacherous sluts at heart. maybe eventually destroy their beta cuck husband. but when a woman goes 1488 like this…..it would be really hard for her to turn back after that. i mean i guess sinead could, but she has no credibility anyway. a newcomer like emily youcis has more credibility that sinead, who has done nothing but attack good people. its very disappointing. she could have done a lot of good.

richard spencer is trying to hire one person for 12.5k a year hahahahaha. that’s about as much as Im making right now. and he wants this guy andrew joyce who probably is a good writer and has a graduate degree hahahahaha.

my point is, i simply couldnt just waltz in and get a 20k Alt Right Job, because there ARE no Alt Right Jobs! The one alt right job there is pays 12k a year and wants qualifications i dont have!

again, you would LITERALLY be a LOT better off taking calls in a tech support call center.  good god.

anyway i think it would be better if someone like emily said yeah i fooked negroes in the past, i am disgusted with this and would never do it again, rather than sinead avoiding talking about it, when she gets accused of being a mudshark all the time, and she probably was, but just wont address the issue. just say you did it, say you’re ashamed, say you understand your mistake, learned from it, and became a better person! we will forgive you! were not monsters!

not that theres been any mudslinging on emily. the alt right has been very gentlemanly to her and she hasnt done any sketchy shit either.

well she was just on the david duke show today, which is a good show, i just dont listen to it super often hahahaha. but he just had richard spencer on a few days ago, and he has andrew anglin on regularly. i have been down with david duke for YEARS. i dont like the plastic surgeries and the rumors of degeneracy, but the stuff he says is so solid, and I was glad he ran for senate, and is talking to the right people. keeps in touch with the young kids in the alt right. WN 2.0 hahahahaha.

i have listened to at least 20 episodes of his radio show hahaha and listened to at least 60% of the audiobook of “my awakening”, can heartily recommend. great book. great info on the JQ which I got in 2012 or 2013. Duke has been around for DECADES, before there WAS an alt right, and the best thing out there was mgtow. yikes. dark days. then you found stormfront and said, hmmm i think these guys are onto something, but theres gotta be a better way of doing this. this guy david duke is pretty solid, why arent there more people developing this line of thought? and now there ARE.

heh. i am an oldfag, back when i was getting into shit, MGTOW and MRA was the EDGIEST shit the internet had to offer. besides stormfront hahahaha. and i read a little bit of stormfront too.

but yeah boy am i glad the alt right happened, MGTOW was a damn dead end.

dec 29

so yeah. while I USED to identify as a MGTOW, i did have serious problems with it as I accepted my pretty natural desire to have a Wife and Children, to have a traditional monogamous white relship. pretty quickly i realized how jooish and unnatural it was for men and women to be at war with each other, to be enemies. this wasnt all womens fault. there was a more insidious force at work.

the family life was shitloads better than the mgtow single life. i couldnt believe how so many mgtows could not figure this out and were still either talking about how to bang sluts, or how to build robot women.

tarek and christina split. i bet it was her that is At Fault. To Blame. I never liked her hahahaha. i liked him a lot better even though he is half arab. plus he doesnt look or act semitic at all.  and their chidren were adorable. i bet she dumped him and he begged her to stay and make an effort to work it out baybeeeeee and now she is fooking new guys, probably WAYYYYY more nonwhite looking and acting than tarek.

right after he had that Cancer Scare! What a Horrible Bitch! but he seems too nice and she probably needs a man who can absolutely DOMINATE, if not abuse her. she would be more down for a more dominant arab man. tarek RESPECTS women too much. many women dont want to be RESPECTED hehehehe. then they go on reddit and tell women everything is abuse, loveisrespect.org. nope. you respect a woman, she will leave you for pedestalizing her. OR do something so horrible and disgusting to teach you a lesson about Pedestalizing. Take me off the pedestal! I’m gonna fook 10000000 negros right now!

going to buy new glasses. it is the biggest jooish ripoff since going to the dentist. going to the doctor hahahaha. go into these glasses places and they are full of Shark Women doing sleazy salesmen shit. absolutely disgusting. women shouldn’t be doing this. shit men shouldnt be doing this. no business should be run like an obvious jooish scam. capitalism doesn’t have to be so jooish and disgusting ahahahaha. purge the bergs and steins hahahaha.

americas best is the WORST. if it says 2 pairs of glasses for 70 bucks……..sheeeeeit. don’t tell me that 2 pairs of glasses for me is going to be 210 bucks. that is THREE TIMES MOAR. if someone comes in asking about the 2 for 70, do you really think they have a huge budget to buy the top shelf glasses and lenses? and us rubes don’t know that frames and lenses are two different things. 2 frames for 70 is bullshit when its like 140 for two sets of LENSES.

i would ask them, what are you looking to spend, 100 dollars, ok, well for that you can get this, for a teensy bit more you can get this, then you prob wont want to go much hgiher than that!

no frills, no add ons, no extras, no upselling, just bottom shelf, bargain basement, basic bitch everything.

2 pairs of glasses, out the door, with lenses, for 70 bucks. that is what i want. i don’t care about polycarbonate, or scratch protection (well, sorta i do), or antiglare coating, or transition lenses hehehehe. maybe if i had vision insurance, which only the top 1% do hahahahaha. or people like muh baby boomer family hehehe.

i thought getting a glasses shop job would be pretty chill, but after going to a few of these places, i can see that it would not be. on dec 29 the places were packed with people. maybe thats just normal for the holidays.

bitcoin falling finally.

GENTLY signalled interest in the MJ with the one person i can conceivably talk to about this. i thought he might have not registered the idea that next time he wants to go in, i’d like him to tell me so i can go in with him. he is generally good at reading signals but i still wasnt sure, besides, i am terrible at communicating stuff like this. and he is abstaining for the medium term for very legit reasons. but yeah yesterday i made it clear that when you decide to stop abstaining, please let me know ASAP. he clearly understood what I was saying. so that is good. Now I know not to be PUSHY.

in other words, ive done all i could there.

but yeah i was like damn how could i ever do what these women do. lie to people to sell them glasses. they deliberately make shit confusing and complicated to Upsell and Add On Shit, and have horribly misleading advertising. i hate this jooish shit and i hate that white women are stuck working in these jobs. i’d be like listen, you want the lowest price, i get it, well then you have to get this. i SHOULD HAVE studied the website for americas best before walking in there, just so i could tell them the things i DIDNT want.

well i ended up finding a pair for 70 dollars, including both frames AND lenses. that seemed reasonable to me. so just said ok ill take it. wanted to get out of there anyway. fookin glasses. the place was huge, had a ton of employees, and a ton of customers, and i thought, really, glasses? such big business? doesnt everybody have lasik or contacts?

i dont like honestly not terribly smart white women acting like jooish snake oil salesman. youre obviously tyring to confuse me with glasses jargon. dont do that. i should have taken 5 minutes to study glasses jargon before i left. but i shouldnt HAVE to in a nice huhwhyte country is what im saying. i guess i didnt realize the glasses industry was so thoroghly jood. i shouldnt be surprised though. health care, hospitals, doctors, dentists, medical, insurance, its all fooked and jooed. which is sad.

and when MJ is legal that will be jood too hahahaha.

tensions with israel at the moment. UN snubbing israel and obama/kerry saying yeah we snub israel too. trvmp saying just you wait bibi, just 3 more weeks and then me, your best buddy, me, will be in office, and you wont get this terrible treatment from the US. this was always gonna be the black pill about trvmp, was his super friendliness to israel, i guess we were just gonna not think about it until it was time to think about it. which is now nigh.

i mean i guess i support a state for joos as long as they get the damn joos out of the US. out of our media and culture and govt and business and education and everything. absolutely never gonna happen.

square pegs. mid 80s teen sitcom with teenage sarah jessica parker. she was a QT when she was young, fook this horse face nonsense! but it just never suits a woman to be a 40+ year old slut, so she brought that shame on herself!

i think she is jooish. doesnt stop 20 year old jooish gurls from being qt.

yeah i believe in REDEMPTION. and if i believe in redemption for myself, which i would LIKE to, then i have to believe in redemption for other people. namely, women, sluts, degenerates. if i can do it, they can do it. if they can do it, i can do it. and i like reading stories of actual redemption.

i dont think sinead is stupid. in fact i think she is attractive and its tech good she has a baby. she sometimes comes VERY CLOSE to making good points, and then totally crashes and burns, or attacks somebody great like millennial woes. so she is very frustrating and disappointing, because she has great potential. and of course she could be redeemed too. but my god she HATES the alt right. she views it as a totally gay compromised thing. calls it the alt k1k3.  i guess i should be happy that in 2016 there are qt white women who are ok on the JQ and not afraid to use the K word hahahaha. didnt have this even 4 years ago.

but yeah if kyle is her lover she should identify as his wife, and be like, im taken by my one man kyle, and he is the father of my baby. i luv him and will be loyal to him. and not have any ambivalence there.

so in short i dont trust her at all. i trust emily Y more than her.

wow what an insensitive cvnt. and she wants sympathy from reddit. i hope they crucify her hahaha. if she worked halg the day that her husbando worked, she’d be EXHAUSTED too. but now she wants to dump him because his job is exhausting him and she is annoyed by him being exhausted all the time. what a fooking bitch. he needs a woman who can have s ome damn sympathy for him.

basically with /relships, i upvote men and downvote women. and men who talk like women. women have nothing smart or good to say about relships. they have no idea how to have relships with men.

i think if i went into americas best and said listen. i see your sign for 2 for 69.95. that’s basically the type of value i want. I want the SHITTIES lenses AND the shittiest, cheapest frames, for less than 100 bucks TOTAL, out the DOOR. frames AND lenses, under 100 TOTAL. no deals, no add ons, no extras, no 2 pairs. no scratch protection, no anything protection, i am looking for the equivalent of no-fault shitty auto insurance. i would like to buy nicer glasses but i cant afford them.

reddit is gonna say there is nothing wrong with the sister being in JOOISH PORN and the man needs to GROW UP and GET OVER IT.

now i dont think you should be quick to pull the DEFOO trigger, and always be open to forgive and allow your family the chance to repent and redeem themselves…..but the sister is not moving in that direction at ALL, in fact, she is doubling down on the PORN. so the brother is RIGHT to be DEVASTATED and depressed about this. shit what if his WIFE decided this was an ok thing to do?

i was watching andy griffith and gomer pyle USMC and i was like, these quaint shows of a better time. that gomer pyle is a likable idiot. seeing that this stuff is STILL made by joos when you watch the crrrrrredits.

or this show “Square pegs”, which i had never heard of, but seemed pretty entertaining and well-written and funny. yep moar joos. which is not surprsing as this was the 80s. but joos in the 80s and esp the 60s didnt seem so god damn JOOISH as they do now. well except for that sneaky sneaky joo norman lear. i mean i used to watch all in the family regularly, and like the character archie bunker. i still kinda do!!!!

but yeah being JQ aware really helps you with shit like that. and reading between the lines to see this is more than just a good show. its more of a subversive and offensive show than you realize. you’re not SUPPOSED to……well i cant even say that youre not supposed to like archie. he’s the main damn character. i think you ARE supposed to like him, and realize YOU are just as horrible of a racist goy as he is, and then learn Lessons Of Tolerance just as Archie does. but archie truly says some hilarious shit. him and his wife edith are both great. and shitlib son in law meathead. total shitlib sjw leftist commie.

i WISH the show were written by alt right SHITLORDS rather than SJW Joos! honestly the alt right could bring the show back in this way, that’s a great idea. would be even kooler than a blatantly alt right king of the hill.

on the fatherland, muh boy no1 suggests that million dollar extreme/sam hyde is basically Entertainment/Comedy for Goys By Goys, comedy stripped of any horrible jooish influence. i mean i hope it is! we need our own CULTURE, stuff like music, movies, tv, stories. not just implicitly cool stuff like christopher nolan or something, but something that comes right out and says, this is who we are. we are not J’s. this work is 100% free from jooish influence. i would love that. cuz you can’t GET that in mainstream ANYTHING.

this is another benefit of black metal hahaha. it is very free of jooish influence. maybe thats why i like it so much hahahaha. was such a big boortzum fan for so long hahaha. really liking this saor/fuath hahahaha.

well because its impossible to make a tv show or movie without a bunch of Js getting involved. I like more solitary pursuits, more of a Auteur approach hahahaha. one man’s singular, unadulterated, unjood vision. much more practical to accomplish with music or books. and i dont like books hahahaha. well auteur movies are a good attempt too.

and certainly self made youtube vids. or 1488 podcasts hahaha.

havent really watched lots of MDE. dont know anythign about the other guys in MDE other than sam hyde. i guess there is an mde book now. i mean i respect and trust no1 so his recommendation is as good as any.

george feels responded to me and said thank you. so that was nice. have no idea if he is gonna fix the thing that i said he might want to fix hehehehe. well i did my part. i might give him another dnation next xmas hahahahaha.

when i get to the position he’s in….wait a minute i am actually OLDER than him hahahaha. AND he has a better job than me.  so when HE gets to the point I am in now, THEN he should start going to hookers and smokin MJ which is freely available in his damn town. just walk into the store just as easily as buying a bottle of booze. and he Gets To Do That too. I’m not even allowed to drink booze any more hahahahaha.

this is kinda sad. of course i would say take the “dream job.”

He has very low self-esteem and has mentioned several times that he may be depressed. Until recently, he would rant to me over text (hundreds of texts) about his insecurities, that he feels like trash, and that there’s a lot of expectations and societal pressures on him because he’s a man. Multiple times he’s told me he wanted to end his life. When I tried comforting him and dissuading him from it, it backfired and he lashed out against me, saying that there is no way I can empathize with people like him in the slightest. In subsequent meltdowns, I held back on comforting him out of not knowing what to say, and he said I lacked a moral compass and that women like me are biologically wired to hate men like him.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. well i know how this guy feelz, but the fact that she HASNT left him yet, CARES enough to ask reddit. but yeah. ive felt that exact feel. women HATE loser men more than men hate sluts. and they will throw you away like garbage. thing is, she hasn’t thrown HIM away like garbage, and i think if she DID dump him, she would make an effort to do it in a decent way.

yep you will be a virgin for the next 10 years, just be thankful you can even GET a job. also try not to get arrested for drugs or alcohol hahahaha

oh thats fine, nothing wrong with fooking 12 guys by the age of 18 hahahahaha.  sex is a conditional, relative, gray area thing. sometimes its serious, and sometimes its just casual fun!!!!!! yay!!!!!!!!

BE ASHAMED OF YOUR SLUT PAST. tell your bf yes im ashamed of what i did and who i was, and that shame is gonna keep me from doing that shit again. yes it is digusting i agree. instead when you tell him im not ashamed at all, whats wrong with that? uhhh yeah youre saying i have no shame about being a shameful slut hahahahaha.

because who knows when they are gonna get bored with sex with YOU and go easily find it with any of their 6000000000000000 male friends.

they SHOULD be ashamed of their slut past. that is the BEST way to make your new bf OK with your slut past. NOT say, no, i’m not ashamed of that gross degen disgusting shit I did!

you SHOULD be ashamed of disgusting things you did! not continue to unrepentantly insist these things ARENT disgusting! damn!

what ELSE is she not ashamed by but SHOULD be? cheating?

best to be with somebody who shares your sexual MORALITY – that sex is not some Fun Game to be played with any Sexy Boi. of course its hard finding a woman with that sexual morality! and if you do, they will not like you back and will reject you VERY HARSHLY hahahaha.

sheeeeeit you know what, she was EMOTIONALLY CHEATING on her original boifran. she wanted to fix things with him, but she was EMOTIONALLY CHEATING on him anyway. by becoming friends with ME. yeah i didnt realize this at the time, and not until recently, and its safe to say she NEVER realized it! because she was emotionally retarded!!!

 

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SHOWING ANY NEED AT ALL IS NOT BEING TOO NEEDY / PEOPLE WHO HATE CHEATING CAN STILL EMOTIONALLY CHEAT

TOOT TOOT!! GR8 EFFORTPOAST COMING THRU!!!!!!!

real australian tier qualitypost here hahaha.

i do honestly believe tbh fam that this post is in the top 20%, if not the top 10% of Raw and Insightful Insight, of Emotion finally losing a bit of its steam to Logic and Rationality and Cool Heads 2 Save the day.

0221

yeahhhhh buddy.

dear person: (gonna try doing this a little more. something about the idea of addressing directly to her. because i have a ton of things i want to say to her, and she has nothing to say to me, and REFUSES to listen to what i have to say, but i can still say it anyway. just not send it to her hahahahaha.)

how could you. i mean COME ON. maybe not 3 years but definitely 2.667 years. close enough. COME ON. didnt you care about me as a person AT ALL? I really thought you did. maybe you did but you just HAD to avoid the confrontation aka communication THAT badly. well thats on you, not me. i cant MAKE you WANT to communicate. i cant MAKE you WANT to show me that you care about me as a person.

i cant MAKE you understand that you thinking i BETRAYED you is unreasonable and not the case. you never WANTED to hear my side of the story. you never WANTED to think that POSSIBLY you might be misunderstanding this whole situation. and then made up your mind to NEVER listen to my side of it. a person that had been in your life for 2.67 years. i just cant understand how you can turn those feelings off like that. i know you were distancing, but i thought there was SOMETHING left there. the memories, and not just that, but the ROOTS, the fact we still saw each other every day and were cordial to each other. couldnt you have just LISTENED to me and said SOMETHING in response to that? how can you just get RID of somebody you knew for so long, and had slowly BUILT a relationship and a foundation with. you cant just throw that away, it doesnt WORK like that. its a horrible thing to do to a person. deep down i think you KNOW this, but you cant bring yourself to even LISTEN to me and to even make a statement about what you feel about all this. i cant keep contacting you because the ball has been in your court for a long long time. plus i need a lot of no contact in order to heal. but you can still contact ME and let you know that you listened, that you cared about me, that you didnt MEAN to TMALAPOG. i TOLD you i felt TALAPOG and it would have been really nice if you responded to that just saying you didnt MEAN for that. but you didnt even do that. didnt even lift a finger. didnt even send an email or a text. and we texted all the time, you text people all day long, how could you not even send ME one text, when we had a long term rel established.

I KNOW it was in trouble and things were bad, but thats no excuse. rights and responsibilities. you cant just give up on a person liek that. thats kind of abandonment. nobody likes to be abandoned. youve been abandoned, you know how horrible it is. dont do that to ME. i trusted that you cared enough about me to not do that to me…..even if we were having problems.

this has left me so confused and devastated. i have so much i want to say to you and you refuse to listen to any of it. i would like to hear what you have to say, but you refuse to tell me. how do you think that makes me feel? how could you not have anything to say to me about this? you obviously have some feelings about it. you dont throw someone away and not have strong feelings about the matter. you have to have something to say to me, so just say it. it would help me process this and get better closure. sure closure ultimately comes from within, but it doesnt HAVE to be so one sided. you can help me out a LITTLE bit. im not asking for a LOT. just give me a LITTLE. i think a 2.67 year relationship deserves at least a LITTLE bit of effort and communication and sharing and respect and caring and not being thrown away and abandoned and forgotten. i cant forget it. i dont think you can forget it either. just share your feelings with me. even if a lot was one sided, you were a part of this relationship too, for a long time. just treat me like a human being and not a forgotten piece of garbage. i wasnt just some random piece of garbage revolving in an out of your life in a matter of months. we were friends for 2.67 years and we got along great and you told me things you’d never told ANYBODY. doesn’t that mean anything to you? just communicate to me that that meant something to you, that I meant something to you. you meant a LOT to me, and right now you’re telling me I meant NOTHING to you. this has devastated me. you dont have to share my feelings. im not asking that. just tell me i meant SOMETHING to you as a person, and that you didnt MEAN to hurt me so much, that im not a piece of garbage to you. cuz im not a piece of garbage, and you, someone who is so important to me, sure treated me like one, and i never saw this coming. there was no warning, no red flags that you would do this to me. i tried to give you big hints that my feelings to you had changed, and im pretty sure you picked up on that. i wish you had just commuincated with me about that. i can handle my feelings being rejected, but i cant handle being rejected on this much deeper level. a human being reduced to a disposable object, a nonhuman. NOBODY can handle that. thats much worse than a standard normal rejection. thats not the way you reject people or end a relationship? what say you? NOTHING? ive never experienced this before.

ending a relship is always painful, but ending a relship this way is 100000000 times MORE painful. i have reached out to you to please choose to act differently, meaning simply just write to me and tell me how you feel, tell me i mattered, tell me youre listening to me and thinking about this, tell me i didnt betray you, tell me our friendship mattered, that i mattered, that i have worth and dont deserve to be thrown away.

/end for now hahahahaha

that kind of shit. see i already feel .5% better hahahaha.

i need to learn to SELF SOOTHE better, to calm myself down and convince myself that everything will be all right, i can handle this, i can get through this.

thats how you get confidence and my confidence is REKT right now. i dont feel i can DO ANYTHING.

that awful job didnt help. i prob could have kept my confidence up if she werent there. but the double whammy was too much. she eroded my confidence to nothing, and i needed a decent amount of confidence to do my job. which was constantly solving weird problems where i had incomplete information and unknowns all the time. but i needed to project confidence and say yeah i got this, ill fix this. i just couldnt even fake it any more. fake it till you make it they say, and that was very true here. but it got to the point where i just couldnt even fake it any more. faking it was not helping me make it. i couldnt fake it long and hard enough to the point where i finally made it.

well, i started to. but then shit hit the fan with her. and this was the type of job where the new stuff never ended. it was a constant stream of new stuff. you couldnt just learn the stuff and then rest on your laurels. the new stuff just kept coming all the time, you were always like a babe in the woods. you had to KEEP faking it till you made it on the new stuff. i guess what im saying is there was too much new stuff. i couldnt get a handle on it and that drove me crazy and weakened my confidence and competence as well.

im not very mature, i am very emotional, hysterical and neurotic like a damn woman….but do women HAVE to be SO bad? SO immature? i was way more mature than she was here. except for my hysterical emotions harming myself, basically K’ing myself symbolically in a way.

like if women are so emotionally immature they can totally destroy someone emotionally and be emotional infants…..how the hell can they continue living their lives, ie doing their damn jobs for 50 hours a week and not getting fired or quitting?

i mean there is talk in the Alt Right that women should have never been given the vote, becuase theyre basically not emotionally mature enough to vote. i just dont know.

they’re not emotionally mature enough to treat people well and handle normal relationships, thats for sure!

but they ARE emotionally mature enough to handle a stressful confusing job 50 hours a week and not get fired for completely fooking it up?

but they definitely fook up relationships and other people?

i mean if she fooked up her JOB as bad as she fooked up our rel, she would have been fired on the SPOT, just like she “fired” me on the SPOT.

and really the job was a lot HARDER and more complicated and confusing than a damn rel. all she needed to do was communicate with me a little bit. and the job involved communicated with many people all day on many complicated confusing unknown issues. you can do THAT but you cant talk to ME at ALL??????

see it continues to boggle the mind.

basically if you can do that job, you are probably intelligent or stable enough to vote, i would think.

i dunno. i just struggle a lot with the idea that Women are too Emotionally Immature to handle Relationships. and that you as the man have to take ALL the responsibility to guide and lead them at ALL TIMES. i know men and women are different, but is it really THAT bad? shit i can lead and guide 75% of the time, maybe even 90%……but during TOUGH TIMES, i NEED a little reassurance from the woman. can’t they put in even 10% of the responsibility in a relationship?

i had a dream last night with woman2012 and it didnt really bother me at ALL. i would like to get to that point with woman2015 and i suppose i will. by 2019 hahahahahahahaha. in the dream i saw her and she was like yep im just really busy with work, working 2 jobs, this is my one day off to just kinda recharge, cuz otherwise i’m ALWAYS working, 60 to 80 hours a week, its intense.

i was just thinking, i would need a LOT more than 1 lousy day a week to recharge!!!!!!!!

basically i would try to recharge the second i got out of work, to the second i had to go back to work…..and it wasnt enough. i didnt have ENOUGH time to recharge even for a damn 40 hour a week job! cuz the job took THAT much out of me, and i wasnt ABLE to recharge when i got home. i wasnt REALLY “recharging”, i was just CONSTANTLY WORRYING about the job, even when i was OFF of the job. also i was worrying about other stuff too, like her. who i would see at the job every day. but i couldnt get her to hang out with me outside of the job. any more. i used to be able to.

i used to be much more confident and masculine and cool with her.

but i wish that bitches wouldnt BAIL on you the SECOND you lose frame and start showing even a little bit of weakness or need. then you’re TOO needy.

showing ANY NEED AT ALL is not being TOO NEEDY, bitches!!!!!!!

you were in a damn 4 year secsual monogamous longterm rel with a man and lived with him!!!!!! you were mature with HIM, why couldnt you be mature even just a LITTLE with ME???? where we also had a long, good, relship? just because it wasnt SECSUAL??? it doesnt matter! we were still close and intimate in other ways!!!!!!

well this is a red flag in itself: that she is SEEKING intimacy with OTHER MEN WHILE she is with another guy:

she was essentially EMOTIONALLY CHEATING on HIM, with ME!!!!!!!!

That is still a weird thought to me.  because i am so AGAINST cheating in all of its forms, but i never thought of it like that.

i would have been angry if i was him, for her to be making Good Friends with New Guys and hanging out with them. but then again i am the jealous type, and i would expect to be Judged As Wrong for being Mad about that. she can hang out with whoever she wants! its not like shes CHEATING on you!

so i was focused on the possibility of physical cheating, that i didnt really think about emotional cheating.

and what she was doing to HIM with ME, Was arguable Emotional C H E A T I N G.

i dont think she realized it; i certainly didnt realize it; because she hated cheating, and i hated cheating, and i was so happy we agreed on that.

people who hate cheating can still emotionally cheat.

you can still emotionally cheat even if you dont realize youre doing it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i am just realizing that NOW, 7 months after shit ENDED with her.

was she emotionally mature enough to realize she was on the thin ice of potential emotional cheating? OF COURSHE NOT!!!! absolutely not!!!! she was and is a nice person who would probably never willing cheat, but she is also ignorant and immature and frightened and dumb and confused and wrong, so………that will be a problem for all of her good intentions.

it should NEVER be underestimated that her use of the herbal j00 is also emotionally compromising her and confusing her. shit i am confused enough WITHOUT the stuff. that is a big deal, a big topic, and im of two minds on it. i luv it, but its love hate. i recognize the cons, which MOST people who partake do NOT, and live in DENIAL of the serious cons. like her. she would be in denial.

i thought it was kewl and great that my Perfect Angel and I could one day cuddle together and Blaze It Happily Ever After. that would have been a good pro. but it was not to be. and in fact it probably just made her MORE emotionally immature and emotionally retarded and emotionally wrong. easier to convince herself of the retarded conclusion that id betrayed or wronged her; and also that stuff enables you in AVOIDING CONFRONTATION. which she did NOT need any extra enabling on. it makes you AVOID RESPONSIBILITY, AVOID doing the right thing, makes you morally weak, even if you have the best intentions. i say all this from personal experience too! been there, done that, got the tshirt, literally wasted YEARS of my life on MJ and regret UNTOLD amount of potential and opportunities wasted because of it!!!!!! yet i am STILL drawn to it because it makes music better and gives you Calm Warm Fuzzies once the Anxiety and Dread wears off. but it probably makes you more anxious in general even once you quit it.

no not all MJheads are like that…..just me. hahahaha. plus i think a lot of people are in DENIAL. heck its easy to be in denial because you want to keep enjoying it.

anyway you think a WINNER like The DON is smoking MJ every day? fook no, he doesnt even DRINK. his brother threw his life away on drinking btw.

tl,dr: the MJ is ABSOLUTELY clouding her mind and judgment even if she doesnt think it is, and ABSOLUTELY had some role in why she did what she did to me. HURT me. intentionally or not. MJ makes people with good intentions do bad hurtful things they probably wouldnt otherwise do. fook yeah in that way it is destructive. i destroyed myself when i was younger with it; and with it she destroyed our relship. don’t believe the j00 media’s LIES that it is a Misunderstood Medicine.

No. W33d is For N1993rs. Have some SELF RESPECT hahahaha (line from american history x hahahaha)

i can say all this because i’ve been there, i’ve PAID THE PRICE. oh lawd have i EVER. you only learn this lesson long after the fact.

heh. love hate. like whose afraid of virginia woolf. see they hateloved each other. they hated each other all day every day, but at the end of the day, they loved each other enough that neither one of them said IM DONE! IVE HAD ENOUGH! and just walked out on the other.

call it an unhealthy attachment or codependence; i call it loyalty and true luv hahahahaha.

because their unhealthy codependence showed that they were still committed to each other on some level. no one was about to ABANDON the other. they wouldnt THINK of it. so this WILLINGNESS to still be with one another, means that with Healthy Communication (which they did not have!!) they might have resolved their hatred for each other, and dealt with the death of their son in a mature, healthy way. EASY PEASY.

so yeah its telling that THEIR relship was imho way BETTER than what OUR relationship turned into. all because of her unwillingness to communicate, or commit essentially. she de-committed from me entirely. i had no IDEA the EXTENT she was decommitted. I thought she still CARED about me on a fundamental level, underneath all the anger. and her inability and unwillingness to show any caring…….was more than hurtful to me, it was DEVASTATING.

google how to deal with abandonment

i mean the other women who left me, sure they DISAPPOINTED me greatly, but i didnt feel this sense of total abandonment. its amazing what one little talk can do in that regard.

oh its not abandonment because……i was too naive and needy and immature to get too attached.

SO THAT DOESNT MEAN YOU GET TO BE SHITTY TO PEOPLE.

its not really shitty, its all in your mind that its shitty. i was just done with the rel, its YOU who THINKS its SHITTY. thats all in your MIND.

THIS is why i want to take this to dr phil court of rel law and have them PROVE thru the EVIDENCE that YES it WAS shitty and YOU, she, is GUILTY OF BEING SHITTY. Guilty of an Honest To God Relship CRIME.

like oh i cheated on my husband but thats not shitty, its all on him for GETTING MAD about it. he doesnt HAVE to get mad. its a matter of PERCEPTION. if he learned not to get mad about his wife being nonmonogamous.

see how this is a slippery slope to absolve yourself of ANY responsibility? NO its NOT ALL PERCEPTION, SOME things are GENUINELY shitty and this is one of them! you cant just do ANYTHING to anyone and blame it on THEM that they are PERCEIVING it.

well they CHOSE to get MAD about it.

because YOU HURT THEM!!!!!!!!!!!

I might try to read this somewhat awesome seeming post aloud into my recorder so i can use it as a spoken word voie recording affirmation to listen to at the Gym or elsewhere. the main things to remember:

i dont care how emotionally immature women are supposed to be. they have to have a LITTLE responsibility. she did not even show a LITTLE responsibility.  the situation was hopeless.

it IS not just a subjective matter of perception. there is right and there is wrong, and what she did was very WRONG. damn moral relativism is a big reason i Left the Left. there is actual morality. it doesnt need to be religious per se, but right and wrong objectively exists, and can be measured and judged. and abandoning a friend of 2.67 years while they ask you to talk to them, and you just block them and leave them, is wrong as hell.

its a very fooked up thing and it would legitimately HURT ANYONE. it would hurt a confident normie quite a lot and turn them into a needy underconfident neet. and it hurt me even more. also i was not expecting it. there were red flags from her, but NOT indicating THIS. i had no indication that something THIS bad was just about to happen.

this takes time to get over, at least a year, but with no contact, and maybe some more writing of letters directly to her, i will eventually get over it and STOP wanting to be with her, and become available to have feelings for other people. where i will use the lessons i learned here, to have a decent rel with them. lessons like, communicate about feelings very early and very often. interrogate them with direct questions like a damn police detective hahahaha.

ok.

that feel when you should have lost at least 1 pound during the week but you have only lost .4 pounds in the past 7 days. BUT i can “lose” like 3 pounds a day, prob due to Water Weight and Coffee Weight. you can lose a POUND just by URINATING. get up in the morning, take a 2 pound P1ss, and THEN weigh yourself hahahaha.

dear person: i hate how you can just SIT THERE and MOVE ON with your life like you did nothing wrong. you want to get fooked by exciting new guys from tinder? you never used to be a whore. now you are. but whats just as bad is that you cant even ADMIT that what you did was WRONG. you dont even CARE about the karma. and i thought you cared about karma. we talked about karma. i thought you truly understood karma. well you didnt, regarding me.

i saw you be kind and loving and giving and committed and loyal and how you TRIED with other men. i thought you would TRY with me, to at least treat me like a valued friend. try not to hurt me too much, try to ease my pain. but you didnt lift a damn finger. just say you acknowledge that you hurt me. dont blame it on me and my perception. what you did was wrong and hurtful regardless of perception, because its undeniably wrong to treat a PERSON like an OBJECT like this. to treat a person as worthless. to treat a friend of 2.7 years as worthless is even worse. it doesnt MATTER that i got feelings for you. and also feelings are not a BETRAYAL! they just happen sometimes when men and women are as close as we were for as long as we were! we were close and intimate in a way! you shared some emotionally intimate things with me. i didnt share as much with you but i shared a little. and i appreciated your trust. i never betrayed that trust, never would. and getting feelings is NOT betrayal. i didnt have ulterior motives. i was just a friend who got feelings after a long time. i dont know entirely WHY i didnt get them earlier, well it was because you were dating somebody, and i hate cheating, and i dont like the idea of breaking people up either. i didnt LET myself get feelings until you were done with him. and remember i didnt encourage you to break up with him, like i wanted to get with you! i encouraged you to TALK TO HIM and work it out! like you should have done with ME!

and i think you DID talk to him and try to work it out, like you should have done with me, but DIDNT!!!!!! at least with him you communicated and determined the relationship could not be saved, and ended on much better terms.

didnt you WANT to end things with me on GOOD TERMS? I wrote to you and asked you, please lets end this on good terms!!!!!! and you said NOTHING! how could anyone not want to end ANY relationship on the best terms possible? why would you want to spend your life hating someone? and now i am spending way too much time being upset with you and how you ended this! and i blamed myself too, a lot. do you think i deserved that? to blame myself as the bad guy, for making this happen? I didnt MAKE this happen!!! i wish you could UDNERSTAND THAT!!!!!! i wish you could understand your role in this, and just say or do something to show me more respect and kindness. yeah you MADE me feel bad, because you showed me NO respect!!!!! when you disrespect someone, it hurts them!!!!!! i never disrespected YOU like this!!!!!

just show me you CARE about me! you cant stop caring about a person like this! you used to care about me! you can STILL care about me as a friend even if you dont share my feelings! im still the same person! care for that person! me! i didnt change at my core, just my feelings towards you did! yeah i KNOW thats uncomfortable and weird for you, its a little weird for me too! but dont PUNISH me for it! read this article which explains that its normal and natural for men to develop feelings for their female friends or vice versa. didn’t YOU ever get feelings for a male friend? how would YOU react if they did to you what you’re doing to me now? you would be quite hurt i guarantee it!!!!

dear person: another thing i was upset about was how you treated me like i did something horribly wrong. so naturally i felt like i did something horribly wrong and i felt very very bad about that. i didnt WANT to do anything wrong, especially not to you. i was shocked that i could do something so wrong completely by accident. i was desperate for a way to make amends to you and show you i was sorry. but i also disputed that i actually did something that wrong. one friend getting feelings for another really isnt a crime that needs to be punished. its not a horrible thing or a form of betrayal. its uncomfortable and weird and awkward sure, it can lead to the end of the friendship sure, but its not a horrible thing that you need to blame and hate the other person for. in fact this just makes it worse for them! if i could choose not to have these feelings i would! i didnt want to complicate our friendship like this! but complicating the friendship is not the same as me committing a malicious crime and deserving hate.  yes i understand how you could view this as a kind of betrayal or something you should hate me for, like i was lying to you or hiding something from you, or that i had a dual intent or hidden motive from the very moment i met you. i understand that. but i swear on this entire rel, on everything that is sacred to me, on the white race, that this is just not true. my feelings only started after you broke up with your long term boifran. maybe if you were available when we first met, i might have gotten feelings earlier. i just cant say. thats not how it worked out. maybe i was forcing myself NOT to have feelings, because i respected the integrity of the relationship you were in, i respect all long term relationships inherently, because i hate cheating and i think monogamy is the best. i wanted to see your relationship succeed with that guy.

would i have gotten feelings if you two stayed together? if you got married? i cant possibly say. even if i did, i wouldnt try to interfere with your relationship. i just dont do that. i have too much respect for the institution of marriage and long term monogamous relationships to ever interfere in one.

anyway the point is, its not a CRIME to get feelings and there are much different ways to react. please try to put yourself in my position. i didnt ask for this. but sometimes feelings just happen. you cant really choose who you get feelings for, or choose to turn those feelings off or on. the best thing you can do is present the feelings openly and talk about them. it affects us both because both of us are in this relationship. a friendship, especially a close and good one, is definitely kind of a relationship. i just wanted our close friendship to be even closer, where we could share even more things with each other. this would involve me sharing more of my own self than i have done before.

what if you got feelings for someone, and they treated you like you committed a horrible crime against them? not only would your feelings be rejected, but how would you feel if they treated you like a monster just for GETTING feelings for them?  its like rejection on top of rejection, insult on top of injury.

its not wrong to get feelings. it matters what you DO with those feelings. if you break up somebodys relationship with cheating, thats obviously wrong. if you lie to the person and pretend you dont have feelings, thats kinda wrong too, though not nearly as much so as cheating. there are degrees of wrongness here. cheating is super wrong, not being forthcoming about your feelings is just a little bit wrong. also, sometimes you are afraid of showing the feelings because youre afraid of rejection. it takes a lot of courage to put yourself out there in the face of rejection like that. so i dont think its WRONG to feel hesitation and fear there. especially when you might not be JUST rejected for your feelings, but you yourself totally rejected as an inferior, horrible, shitty person doing a horrible shitty crime. which its NOT.

http://www.hsperson.com/pages/1Aug08.htm

not entirely relevant article, but it does talk about the experience of sensitive people feeling difficult emotions.

ive told you i can be sensitive and have strong emotions. i know this is not manly so i try to not share these feelings too much, or to make a conscious effort to be less emotional and more manly. but sometimes its just too much to hold back. like now.

anyway its not inherently wrong to get feelings for another person even if youre already IN a relship. its what you DO about this. here, the right thing is to probably stop seeing that person, and to work on your relationship with your partner.

this is not the greatest example because i was not in a relationship. but you were. but i didnt HAVE the feelings when you were. it was only when we were BOTH not in a relship that my feelings came on.

however also at that same time i suspected you might have started dating another guy. yeah i messed up because i should have just asked you about this. and also told you about my feelings as soon as possible.

but then things ended with him really quickly. i mean everything was moving very quickly, too quickly for me to really keep up. there was a period between june and october where everything was moving very quickly and was all jumbled and confused.

i dont know. maybe you thought i was being sneak and scheming and waiting until the perfect moment to strike, and felt i was some kind of sneaky predator in that way. all i can say to that is i swear on the white race i was not scheming, and basically my feelings were starting at the same time your relationship with the second guy was ending, and yeah i should have talked to you more about that, but it all happened pretty fast. it was the timing. just general timing of your life and my life and the things going on for each of us. the timing was not great. meaning when i finally got actual official feelings for you…..you might have been “single” but you were definitely emotionally unavailable because things had JUST ended with the second guy. but if you could start dating a guy so soon after a 4 year relationship, i guess i thought maybe you could date me in short time after a 3 month relationship.

so yeah i wasnt waiting for the perfect moment to strike. because the timing of everything was just bad. however i KNEW we had to talk about this already. thats why i was always bugging you to hang out. really i was just asking you once every 2 weeks, which i dont think was bugging. and also we used to hang out, so it was a fair assumption that we would hang out again. really i wanted to TALK about everything, the tension that was starting to brew.

yeah i can understand how you were frustrated with me, but please put yourself in my position and see that im not a horrible person, i didnt do a horrible thing, and i dont deserve to be treated like this, and that to be treated like this is extremely hurtful. i have been heartbroken before, but never this bad, this long.

yeah i was bad and afraid to communicate and the timing was bad. you can blame me for being afraid to communicate, but arent we all afraid to communicate sometimes about stuff like this? also i dont think i deserve to be blamed for just getting feelings. also i think that being afraid to communicate is not such a crime that it warrants being punished by being completely abandoned. mayeb you are just afraid to communicate with me the way i was afraid to commmunicate with you. okay thats fine. but give me SOMETHING. write me emails the way i have written you emails. ask me to hang out the way i have constantly asked you to hang out. then we could TALK about this in a stress free environment. but why were you avoiding me for so long? if you were mad at me, couldnt you just have talked to me rather than dumping me in this awful way? see how i cant stop writing you long emails? its because i have so much i want to talk about, but cant. cant you please just write me a long email at least, if you are afraid to talk? its ok to be afraid. but please try to break through that fear. even a big coward pussy like me can at least write emails. and i eventually told you how i felt. and i was consciously trying to give other signs, like texting you more, and telling you how important you were to me, making you mix cds, being more intimate in the way i talked to you, basically acting like someone who had feelings for you, because i did!!!!!! i KNOW you noticed a change in my beahvior! that change was entirely because of, a result of, a symbol of, my new feelings for you!!!!!

so you ended it in such a harsh way because you felt betrayed by me. but listen to me please, try to see how this might not be a betrayal, how much this hurts me, how i NEVER wanted to hurt or betray you, and that you have the power to change this, by just talking to me. i cant do it alone. if you can accept that i didnt betray you, then you can be more compassionate to me in the ending of this rel.

and the only way we can work through this idea of betrayal, is to talk about it. but i dont feel i am being heard or listened to or empathized with at ALL.

/end for now

QUOTE

[–]mib5799 2 points 1 year ago
This is the problem with relationships.
No communication.
A little bit of proactive communication would have answered this before it happened.
Here’s the ACTUAL answer.
Cheating is breaking the rules.
What those rules are in your relationship? I don’t know. And because you never talked about them, NEITHER DO YOU.
Everyone else here is answering what they believe, which is why the answers are all over. They’re telling you their own rules, which are not yours.
Communication is the only way out of this. You have to talk to your partner about what’s going on, and where the limits are, and where you’re at now, and where you’re going.
This is the only real solution.

END

http://thecoupleconnection.net/articles/how-to-have-a-good-breakup

QUOTE:

The more direct you are, the more considerate you’re likely to be. Imagine a scenario where you break up with someone by avoiding them, or drifting away, or even putting all your flaws on display in the hopes that they’llbreak up with you.

Not only would that show a lack of compassion on your part, but it’s might also make things harder after you breakup. So, while ending a bad relationship is sometimes the right choice to make, it really is worth trying to do it as kindly as possible.

While it may seem harder, being direct is a much more compassionate way to leave your lover. Be clear that you want to end the relationship, and show your soon-to-be-ex-partner that you care how it affects them. It won’t be entirely painless, but you’ll have a much better breakup as a result [1].

END

[1] Sprecher, S., Zimmerman, C., & Abrahams, E. M. (2010). Choosing Compassionate Strategies to End a Relationship. Social Psychology, 41(2), 66–75.

http://my.ilstu.edu/~czimmer/Sprecher_Zimmerman_Abrahams_2010.pdf

full text of article BOOM!!!!!!!!!

no fooking bustle or frisky or collegetimes or thoughtcatalog women are wonderful BULLSHIT that tell you you do whatever you want and be a fookin narcissist with no regard to the mans feelings. but fookin phds in relationships. yeah i know phds are just as pozzed and degen as The Frisky hehehe.

but really there is nothign super great in the article and it is written in the shitty way of an academic article hahahaha.

https://about.illinoisstate.edu/sprecher/Pages/Research.aspx

dr susan ((((sprecher)))) phd might have some other stuff worth reading tho

Close Relationships Research Laboratory? Sign me up for a PHD with my new Favorite Faculty Adviser! illinois state phd here i come hahahaha.

http://www.iarr.org/

international association for relationship research hehehehehe find some more phds like docker sprecher

Compassionate love. L. Bormans (EDs), The world book of love: The knowledge and wisdom of 100 love professors from all around the world. Lannoo publishers (2013): 64-65.

scholars writing articles for a “non scholarly” book. basically just what i am looking for.

http://www.theworldbookoflove.com/en

http://www2.hawaii.edu/~elaineh/71.pdf

sprecher, measuring passionate love, the Passionate Love Scale oh lawd

i could call her on her cell phone number which she lists on her CV hahahahaha

NO im not gonna do that, i hate making phone calls hahahaha BUT mainly because the very idea is ridiculous and creepy and im not THAT fooked up!

Sprecher, S. (1994). Two sides to the breakup of dating relationships.Personal Relationships, 1(3), 199-222.

yep there are two sides hahahahahah. i just want her to feel a little more pain hahahaha like i am. but i dont want to be the one to hurt her. i want her to WISE UP and realize for herself that she was WRONG. i did NOT betray her and she should NOT have done this!!!!!!

how do you clear up misunderstandings? the two people NEED to TALK. maybe even with a marriage and family therapist. which i was willing to do hehehehehe.

she wants ME to feel bad for…..well she wont tell me exactly, but for being a cowardly communicator, and for a sense of betraying her.

i want HER to feel bad for abandoning me.

maybe i am misunderstanding her just as horribly as she is misunderstanding me. i didnt betray her! well she didnt abandon me!!

oh lord i thought i had made some progress today, then this…….

this is EXACTLY why i want the Court Of Relationship Law to hear the evidence and render a VERDICT.

we are both misunderstanding each other. difference is, i am dying to understand, i am dying to talk and work towards an understanding. she is not.

i want to hear her side of the story. she does not want to her my side of the story. and yeah i very much WANT to tell her my side of the story. she does not want to hear it.

i wish i could throw people away so easily and get on with my life!

NO I DONT. i really DONT want to get so RETARDED AND WRONG that i cant even discern betrayal correctly, and i never want to be able to treat people like fooking garbage objects.

i mean BETRAYAL is a heavy ass thing. when in doubt, i would just assume its NOT betrayal, that its probably just a damn misunderstanding. i dont even think what she did to me was betrayal per se. i am willing to view it as a huge misunderstanding. why cant she do the same for me? especially when what i did was so much LESS worse hahahaha. its just being afraid to talk about feelings. everyones AFRAID to have a difficult conversation. she avoids the shit like the PLAGUE. she avoided me every time i invited her.

1008 calories consumed today, 908 calories burned at gym hahahahaha. = 100 net calories and a big WARNING from myfitnesspal.